#you can be anyone truly
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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i have GOT to get over my obsessive worry about being a burden on others oh my god. it is okay to inconvenience people! people in your life who really care about you wonât mind being inconvenienced!! itâs literally just the human experience!!! communicate your needs for the love of god itâll be FINE!!!!!
#i want to throttle myself sometimes over this#personal#disability#this is abt disability for me but anyone can reblog#actually disabled#chronic illness#actually chronically ill#spoonie#chronically ill#disabled#the ppl who truly love you will accommodate your needs. those who donât? ditch em
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How are you?
I am doing the best I can given the circumstances! (Horse dead, scammed thousands, got bald)
#There is an unspeakable agony in the marrow of my bones#I am rotting from the inside out in real time and I can do nothing but watch the decay and pretend to find beauty in it#But the maggots burrowing inside me love me more than anyone else ever could#For they have tasted me as I truly am and decided my rotten meat is something to savor#I am doing about as alright as any of you Number One#The earth still turns and I will wake up again tomorrow a little less rotten
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out of context âmumbo wins the election and everything goes horribly wrong and pearl and gem walk in in the middle of itâ AU doodles because iâve spent the last 7 months descending into madness and maybe possibly writing 120k+ words for it. if anyoneâs interested. anyways
#i am truly off my rocker if you couldn't tell#hermitcraft#dramaturgyAU#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#ft tiny x#my art#i've been going insane over this with one (1) other person#i will drag down anyone i can like an insane feral animal
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: âMe in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Pt2 to this post
'Is something wrong?' Nancy asks, not long after the two of them have taken their familiar spots on the hood of Steve's car. They're basking in what might be the last warm sunlight of the year, looking out over the quarry, at a safe distance from the edge.
It's become a tradition the two of them share, ever since they reconnected back in March. It calms them both, to just sit here and take in the view, no one around but each other. Nancy is one of the few people Steve can share a comfortable silence with: sometimes they sit here quietly for what feels like hours, side by side, listening to music or to nothing but the birds singing around them. But they also have their best conversations here: it's the place where Nancy entrusted him she wanted to break up with Jonathan; it's the place where they talked about their shared past and decided they would always love each other as friends; it's the place where they finally talked about Barbara in a way they couldn't when they were younger. It's where Nancy talked about the ghosts still haunting her and Steve talked about how lonely he sometimes felt.
Steve huffs. 'How did you guess?'
'When you frown, you always do it with your whole face,' Nancy notes. 'So it's hard to miss, really.'
Steve glances at her side profile. There's a serenity to her features that's still relatively new. It means she's healing, slowly learning how to be happy again. It means she stopped waiting for the end of the world and started believing in a real future again. It makes Steve proud of how far they both have come.
'I had a fight with Eddie,' he confesses. 'And with Dustin, I guess.'
'What happened?'
He sighs. 'It's complicated.'
'Wanna tell me about it?'
The look in her eyes is kind and inviting. Steve hesitates. He wants to, but he doesn't know if he can. It's a risk. It's scary.
But he can't imagine Nancy Wheeler ever being careless with his secrets. He can't imagine her judging him, can't imagine her being as small-minded as most people in this town.
He was planning on telling her anyway, because things had been going so well with Eddie lately and â no, he shouldn't think about that right now. But maybe it would actually be nice to talk about it with Nancy.
'So, um...' His throat feels tight and his hands are sweaty. 'I recently discovered some things about myself. I-' The words get stuck somewhere on the way to his mouth, and he clears his throat.
Nancy doesn't push, but only gives him an encouraging nod, waiting for him to find his voice again.
'I found out I like boys,' he finally manages to confess. 'And I need you to know that â that that doesn't mean that what I felt for you wasn't real. It was. I loved you, and now I fell in love with a boy. And-'
'Steve.' Nancy's hand suddenly covers his, causing him to finally jerk his head away from the view over the quarry, to focus on her face again instead.
Her eyes are wide, and she squeezes his hand.
'You don't have to explain yourself to me,' she tells him. 'We're good. But thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this.'
Steve heaves out a relieved sigh, and Nancy smiles; it's that genuine kind of smile which reveals all kinds of dimples and soft lines across her face.
'We might be more similar than you thought,' she tells him, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks.
'Really?' Her words make his breath catch in his throat. He squints at her, trying to see her in this new light. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'
She shrugs. 'I don't know. I'm not sure yet,' she admits. 'Still figuring things out.'
'Take your time, there's no rush,' he tells her. 'But...' He bumps his shoulder against hers. 'When you're done figuring it out, talk to me, okay?'
She nods. 'Okay.'
For a while, it's quiet between the two of them. Some kind of raptor circles high above them in the sky. They both follow it with their eyes until it disappears among the tree tops west of the quarry.
'Is it Eddie?'
Steve blinks dumbly a couple of times.
'Wha- what?'
'The guy you were talking about. The one you fell in love with. It's Eddie, isn't it?'
'Jesus, Wheeler, what kind of sorceress are you?' Steve exclaims.
Nancy laughs again. 'You're not being as subtle as you think,' she tells him. 'The two of you have been hooking up for a while now, haven't you?'
Steve huffs dramatically. 'This is unfair. You know everything; I can't even tell you my own secrets anymore!'
'So what happened?' Nancy asks. 'You said you had a fight with him?'
'It's fucking stupid,' he sighs. 'Dustin was getting way too excited about the fact that I was gonna be hanging out with you, so I told him I was seeing someone. Next thing I knew, he was telling Eddie all about how I was seeing a girl.' He waves his hands around to make annoyed air quotations. 'I wanted to tell Eddie it was a misunderstanding, but Dustin was there, so I couldn't out us just like that, and he looked so betrayed and heartbroken... He didn't wanna listen to me.'
Steve sighs; he still can't manage to forget that look in Eddie's eyes when Dustin delivered the big news. 'I wish I would've talked about what I felt for him earlier. I should've been honest when I had the chance, y'know. But I was afraid he wouldn't wanna label what we had, that he wouldn't feel the same way â and now we're in this whole mess. God, he must hate me right now, Nance.'
To his surprise, Nancy gives him an unexpected slap against his arm.
'Ouch, what the hell was that for?!'
'What are you even doing here with me, Steve? You should've gone after him, tell him how you feel!'
'I tried, obviously, but he didn't wanna listen to me!'
'So make him listen! You're in love with him, he obviously feels the same way about you, and you let him leave to wallow in a broken heart he doesn't even need to have!' She rolls her eyes and slides off the car, adding something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like an exasperated 'Boys!' before she pulls Steve off the car as well. 'C'mon, time to get your ass over to the trailer park. Right. Now,' she says through gritted teeth. And, well, Steve knows better than to argue with a determined - and truthfully quite terrifying - Nancy Wheeler.
Read the last part here Taglist: @withacapitalp @ultimatedreamer104 @irregular-child @jcmadgirl @estrellami-1 @myguiltyartpleasure @hallucinatedjosten @jaybren @thew1ldblueyonder @melodymeddler @alycatavatar @zoeweee @lolawonsstuff @fairy-princette @saramelaniemoon @phirex22 @krazyperson @xxsky-shockxx (I only put people on this list who explicitly asked to be tagged. That's really no problem, I love to do that so dw about asking, but I got a lot of relatively vague reactions to the previous post that i'm not gonna dissect and interpret, bc I don't wanna clog anyone's notes unwanted. So just to be clear: i consider it a huge compliment if anyone asks for a tag but please do it clearly if you do!)
#look i can and i will exploit the miscommunication trope until yall are sick and tired of it#bc steddie is actually the perfect couple for keeping that trope believable#they're idiots with terrible communication skills it's canon#they WOULD#âcan't you just talk to him?â âwait what i can????â IT'S SO THEM OKAY#nancy is the only sane person here i don't make the rules#don't mind me rambling about stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#nancy wheeler#platonic stancy#(i love platonic stancy they mean the world to me)#(i truly didn't mean to trick anyone into reading about them this just kinda. happened. idk)#this is making me wanna write more about their friendship actually they deserve their own fic#stranger things#fruity ficlet
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wanna know the rsl photo that haunts me most? yes you do its this one
why do u have a doohickey vest. put those toes away this is a conceal carry household. like this is unnecessary
#desire mona#media#truly can never get over this one like it follows me everywhere#going about my day and my brains like hey do you remember the fuckass vest. lets think about the fuckass vest#dont tell anyone but i do kinda fuck with the doohickey vest. like a little. in a vacuum its sick as hell#EDIT HIS PANTS ARE TOO LONG. RSL WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT YOU CHALLENGE FAILED YET AGAIN!!!!!!#dead poets society#house md#robert sean leonard
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some of my favourite tributes shared by photographers, vcarb team members, and others, so far. // part ii
lids_harper / jasemcalpine / digital.lighthouse / rosstomkinsphotography / alexvoconnor / taylorbrobbins
#daniel ricciardo#dr#i think maybe....slightly hopefully....the tributes are done.#this will never not hurt i dont think and for anyone who sent me a kind message after my '.' post i truly have never ending#appreciation#i just dont know what to say to you. all my friends have had over the past 24hrs are voice notes of me crying.#i can offer you that#there's so much more yet to come but the closing of this chapter is the hardest one yet
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>:Ă
#WANTED TO DRAW SOME OTHERS DESIGNS FOR FUN!!!!#love them ! i hope i can do this again it truly was fun to draw#also ?? i kinda thought i would do thing like taht with podcasts firstly#but ig whatever i read/listen rn more it is#OKAY IM NOT TAGGING ANYONE PERSONALLY because im shy and size of one peeble but i hope you find your guys :]#h2g2#hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy#ford prefect#trillian astra
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the most unrealistic thing about half these vi x reader fics is that reader would just let vi walk out after an angsty one night stand like BOLD of you to assume she wouldn't wake up with a pounding headache to like a full 4 course breakfast in bed and also a ring on her finger, a marriage certificate SIGNED on the fucking beside table bc ur KIDDING urself if u think anyone would let THAT walk out of their lives .
#đ§ raindrops#thIS IS A JOKE but not rly even a joke like ur TRULY deluding urslef if u think you (or anyone) would let vi walk out of their lives#she would have to KNOCK ME TF OUT to get me off her like tRULY#vi x reader#arcane x reader#in all srsness i GET the angst i RLY DO BUT CAN WE GET SOME HAPPY VI FICS I BEG#vi smut#arcane smut#/screams/#⨠steamy
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I hate to be that one person whoâs like when ur so busy ur not consumed by other people or being in a relationship blah blah blah âŚ. But truly when u have ur hands full you could fucking care less and itâs so liberating
#Like the moment you get busy the desperation to be seen by other ppl#Both platonically and romantically#Goes away so fast#Iâm very dangerous when Iâm in these moods bc itâs easy to push good ppl away when youâre too#Focused on yourself#But also I like not being that anxious about anyone#Like itâs not that deep#Itâs its own kind of nice even though ik itâs such a slippery slope#Also the obsession to be in a relationship or the being scared of being alone goes away so fast#It truly sucks that the âhave hobbies/goalsâ advice works so well but it DOES#Not that Iâm advocating for anyone to be a hermit like ofc human connection still matters#The desperation is just not there so itâs much less high stakes if itâs not in ur life rn#Like how can you be wasting time if ur getting to know urself better
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I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!
That's right. Two hands.
One for his chalk.
One for his codex.
Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.
#I'm on to something here#screwtio#aventio#hsr aventurine#veritas ratio#dr ratio#screwllum#hsr#honkai star rail#now as a disclaimer I'm not personally a huge fan of aventio#exclusively because i think they are so SO much funnier as gay friends#but something about combining the two clicks really well to me#Aventurine and Screwllum would be pretty fantastic metamours i think#they'd have a lot of fun playing off each other#but also Screwllum being there to dispute Aventurine's doubts over whether or not Ratio cares as a verified outside perspective#listing off shit like upticks in heartrate pupil dialation etc on top of being like#he talks about you fondly he knows your favorite things i can personally attest that you are very evidently important to him#stuff Aventurine can't easily write off when coming from not only an outside perspective but also a literal Genius#and on the flip side Aventurine would finally have someone other than Ratio and the Trailblazer he can talk to with relative ease#someone who has also been through a frankly incredibly traumatizing historical event#someone who is also under constant pressure to perform a certain way#someone who has gained wealth and power at the cost of carrying responsibilities on his shoulders and never being truly free#appearing free to anyone who glances but neither of them really are#Screwllum seemingly able to freely pursue whatever research he wants but ultimately permanently shackled with his titles#and public pressure to be the perfect poised representative for all of inorganic kind#forever treading the line of being both a desirable ally and a sufficient threat that you wouldn't want to cross him#and similarly Aventurine stuck in his cycle that he feels only death can free him from of gambling with his life on the line#because the IPC basically owns him#because let's be honest Jade's offer was just a lifetime labor contract he couldn't refuse#granted the illusion of freedom through gaining money and power but never truly free
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shit man he's downright POSTITNOTE'D
#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#drv3#im so tired#good luck with may gamers lets get through it!!!!! (sleepiest voice imaginable)#i got nothhing else to say bye mwa#maiora draws#wait i do actually does anyone wanna see the bleedthrough#questionmark#*spooky bgm* there's a secret forurth kokichi that lives exclusively it the confines of other-side-of-the-page and a layer of varnish ooooo#its SO unimpressive <3 it's just there. buried under inappropriate use of material and postits#truly a nothing burger!!!#he just stares at me when i look throu the book. taunting.#you too can be haunted by the face of 'finish your fucking perspective studies maiora' for the LOW low price of asking nicely!!#as a gift <3#taunted#you get it#im babbling at this point all of this is in the name of a silly goofy time (mine) all is good#im v sleep deprived#i don't actually know english the more i think about it#i need to stop procrastinating im going back to stress time BYE HAVENICEDAY
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Too Hard
Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.
The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.
What a stupid thought to have because of you.
Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.
So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He wouldâve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.
âHi Jamil! Howâs it going?â you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.
Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.
On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.
Jamil didnât miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?
âOh, okay. Iâll see you two later, then.â
Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.
His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.
Just act normal. Thatâs all he needed to do.
After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.
If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.
The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, heâd found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!
For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.
After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.
Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.
Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?
Could you possibly-
Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.
He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, heâd need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-
Jamil froze in his tracks.
The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.
Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dormâs meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.
Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.
Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.
Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?
Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.
What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?
Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.
Heâd have to ask Kalim about it later.
Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.
âIf Iâd known you were coming over, I wouldâve prepared something for you to eat as well,â Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dormâs dinner to spruce up for you.
âOh, no need, just figured Iâd pop by. Iâll get out of your hair soon enough,â you said, something sheepish about your expression.
As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.
And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.
Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil wouldâve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.
All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.
âIâve got some pictures, let me show you!â Kalim said with an excited grin.
Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalimâs phone was nowhere to be seen.
Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?
Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.
Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.
âBreathe. Heâll manage,â you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.
Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamilâs own lips wanted to curl up too.
âHmm. Maybe he will.â
Sure, Jamil couldâve called Kalimâs phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?
Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?
âYou know-â
âSo-â
You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.
Even your surprised look was so-
âYou first,â Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.
âJust⌠Feels like itâs been quite a while since Iâve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,â you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.
âYou say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.â
He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.
âNo. It is not.â
You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil wouldâve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.
Where was your usual chatter? Why werenât you looking at him like you usually did?
âIf youâre worried about me, donât. Iâm fine,â Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.
âThat's what Kalim said too,â you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.
Wait.
Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?
The thought twisted his stomach into knots.
Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didnât work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome yâall one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#ner writes#jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels#also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life#like heâs very aware of how he comes across because thatâs what heâs been told to watch out for#but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell Iâm assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a âjamil hears just the wrong part of the conversationâ route but#a) I kinda hate that trope especially when itâs dragged on beyond belief and#b) Kalim maybe doesnât want to spill anyoneâs secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so#also itâs not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own đ#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back#but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now#also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series#if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines#also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part#I certainly had fun writing that line#(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)
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[RHETORIC - Legendary 14]: Convince Kim you are in a timeloop.
(ISAT side of the swap)
#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#ISAT#in stars and time#If you put HDB in a timeloop I truly think he would spend the his time trying to convince Kim he was in one.#The extra funny bit here is how counter it is to the *main plot of ISAT (*I HAVENT FINSHED. JUST STARTED ACT 4)#In which Siffrin is so strongly against letting anyone know they are trapped in a timeloop.#HDB would be doing everything in his power to try and get people to believe him.#and just like with the amnesia talk - Kim would pull the 'Detective we have a case to solve. Can we get back to work?' card.#How long would HDB last in a timeloop? If we make this loop the week that the case is...maybe a dozen loops?#He has the mystical detective angle on his side so I think he would stumble into the solution eventually.#Now. Odile could figure out someone is in a timeloop. I think It would take a *lot* for Kim to believe.#Anyways. [clicks on my powerpoint presentation that reads âWhy Madame Odile could solve the deathnote caseâ]
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seriously I donât think any show has captured the pain of being a bystander more than miseinen. like i just canât stop thinking about everything heâs told in this episode and everything he sees and how powerless he is to do anything about it. when you say bystander, you think of people that chose to do nothing, who just stand on the sidelines and watch but donât get involved. and maybe thatâs how minase started out, but this show proves over and over again that itâs not a choice anymore. given the choice and ability, minase would stand up and do something. heâs not the person anymore stood outside hirukawaâs house with the emergency number dialed but ultimately doesnât do it. bc he cares too much now, and when you care, you want to help. but the world is so rigid in what they expect of him and hirukawa that there is no way to help.
i keep thinking about what the teacher said at the start of the ep. this doesnât concern you. itâs already settled. donât make your parents worry. when minase says heâs telling the truth, heâs told to focus on whatâs important- and so the truth isnât important here, neither is what hirukawa thinks or minase thinks. itâs what someone has already decided they are, and they are just too busy or just donât care enough to go to the effort to see whether that decision is right. it doesnât affect them whether hirukawa is the awful person they think he is or misunderstood, to them heâs just a part of the job they want to deal with and move on. even though no other adults are as present as hirukawaâs dad or minaseâs mom, the show still has these small moments that show us that there is no other option for them to get help bc no one at school cares either. i said before they live in a world of ignorance where theyâre unable to ignore, and so they deal with it all instead of being able to find help. and it feels equally horrible when you consider that unlike a parent, who yes should feel some responsibility or obligation but ultimately thereâs nothing holding them to that, teachers are employed and paid to care, they should help these kids as much as they teach them, so to see them chose ignorance too is just as hurtful.
and back to minase, this episode showed us perfectly how much it can hurt when you know you canât do anything. he canât comfort hirukawa no matter how much he wants to if hirukawa wonât let him, he canât change his mind and how he thinks of himself bc hirukawaâs trauma traps him in that mindset. he canât stay by hirukawaâs side and support him if hirukawa sends him anyway, he canât fight against what someone whoâs hurting wants, all he can do is listen, bc no one ever listens to what hirukawa wants, so he will, even if it hurts him, even if he knows that itâll hurt hirukawa too. minase is done with being a bystander but even here he is forced to be one, bc the truth doesnât get through to hirukawa just like it didnât get through to that teacher. whatâs right, which would be to stay with hirukawa and help him, doesnât matter just like it didnât matter to that teacher, all he can do is listen and do as they say when people tell him to walk away, that he canât do anything. and thatâs why this show is excellent, bc it makes me feel the pain of knowing but being powerless just as much as I do the pain of actually experiencing these things.
#I might be a bit broken#this show is just too good#itâs too excellent#the acting from these two this ep was just fucking off the charts#the way hirukawaâs response to this was almost cold and stoic you could see the shock and the confusion of what heâs supposed to feel about#this and you also get the moments where the hurt and emotion breaks through and he just breaks down#and you get the desperation that minase feels to help and support and stop hirukawa from blaming himself. he just wants to do something even#if itâs just be there for him and make it so that he doesnât have to go through this alone but he canât even do that bc he canât fight what#hirukawa wants even if he knows itâs not what he truly wants- he knows how hirukawa feels about him but he also knows how difficult this is#for hirukawa to reckon with and he knows how hirukawa will burden himself before he does anyone else and thatâs not good but itâs what#hirukawa thinks and feels and as much as you want to stop that thereâs no switch no magic words he can say to get him out of that mindset#and so he has to go bc itâs what hirukawa wants and minase is the only person that actually listens to him#god Iâm in pain#miseinen#our youth
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