#you arent weird for wanting things to be good
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how do i talk about taash being a realistic character while also acknowledging that they absolutely couldve and shouldve been written better in every aspect
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age critical#taash#dragon age taash#i can only take so much “they act like a kid” takes from ppl#or ppl not understanding them saying no one likes being a woman#LIKE CMON#bioware get some non white ppl in that writers room im begging#get some non white trans ppl in there#anyway. i think some of how they act was unintentional can i be honest#to me they read as an autistic person that has a weird relationship with the world around them#i say this. as someone that is that. lmao#its like. man idk. them choosing a culture is dumb and ugh#but also their trans journey is interesting to look at#IDKKK#i wanna talk about them but i dont want weirdos or freaks in my notifs lmao#and like. god they couldve been written so much better#but also ppl not knowing that aqun athlok is a binary within the qun#and could get ascribed to ppl that ARENT that bc the qun has strict gender roles#but we dont see them look into qunari gender roles or customs#or rivaini gender roles/customs#UGHHHHHH bio ware you fumbled but also didnt but you did lord have mercy#if youre reading these#i hope you know these are just my scattered thoughts#one day ill do a real analysis on them#its an issue of them wanting the audience to know theyre nonbinary while also not creating an in world term#like aqun athlok. which again. does not describe taash lmao#and while i think its a good thing how up front their gender indentity is
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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lemongrab (Starts vibrating so hard i explode)
i do think pb is calm now but i dont think she likes wizards. i dont know. i dont know. and i saw how she treated lemongrab, she didn't really like him either. like. you all saw that. peps didnt want to see that he didnt want to think about it at the time, how they were treating the actual literal heir to the throne and also just how they were treating this man, he didn't realize. he didn't. and now. and . dont .get me talking about lemongrab. or i will talk. for ever
pep: you ate your brother lg: lg: you won't have that problem pep: i could eat you lg: try it
#says shes better but you know. pep can tell theres something going on. theres something Wrong#she insists hes not doing anything wrong and she supports him!! but he can TASTE it. in there. in her words.#lemongrab is not a very gentle person but he is kind. and he is a father. and he wants so badly to be a good sibling.#adventure time#distant lands#lemongrab#peppermint#digital#lemon kids#well one of them. im sorry he looks so much like larry in some ways.#this is the first time lg has called pep his sibling hes like (mid meltdown) IM YOURWHAT..... <3#long post#its so tall.#i need to stop drawing ppl on benches. until i learn to draw benches.#she always knew peps was a magic user but it was more of a background Hes An Adult He Does What He Wants thing#and now he needs money for schoolbooks. so he has to see that Look in her eyes. im making it weird arent i#sorry pb fans im really mad at her about lemongrab and it poisons every interaction i have with her character#she really is trying. i promise. you just wouldnt know it from talking to lemognrab or pep.
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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what pisses me off the most is mutliple news outlets posting like the casting has been "confirmed" as if their sources arent just some rando at cinemacon announcing it when he "wasnt supposed to" + other news outlets getting the hype😭 like paramount or jeff fowler havent said a WORD. WHO is confirming it😭???
yeah maybe its because i really wouldnt like this if it was true but the whole situation feels weird. the site is allegedly reliable, and they claim they have multiple sources, but like. what ARE the sources exactly? they wont say . who told you this. and no official sources are saying anything as far as i know?? and theyve been keeping everything about this movie as secret as possible and i dont remember knuckles' casting leaking in advance like this so . idk.
#also i dont get why so many people think this would be a good casting this literally feels like the mario movie thing all ove ragain#asks#also i looked at the video of the guy who supposedly confirmed it and he said that its 100 percent true#but he also admitted that you shouldnt take his word for it because hes just some random guy and people cna easily lie about this stuff#and the only actual source the article thats going around mentions is HIS video.#it could still be true because they claim they have multiple sources not just that video.#like maybe theyre not naming anybody specific because they dont want to get them in trouble#because this clearly wasnt meant to come out yet#but its still weird like how do we know these people arent lying lmao
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Don’t listen to haters, everything ever spread about Vivzie was disproven. Your art is cute.
LMAOOOOOOOO NO IT WASNT????????!!??!?!?
#WEIRD take man#first of all there are so many accusations about viv this is so unspecefic#also. no they havent?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ive seen so much proof. i see more every single day#i mean thank you. for the compliment.#but being critical about media (even media you enjoy) is a good thing.#its important to unpack how the creators beliefs influence the work they produce#disc horse#this is the first thing i saw when i woke up today and it baffled me so much that i couldnt sleep more like i planned lol#anyway. im not saying anyone cant enjoy the show(s). obviously i do A LITTLE if im making fanart#im not saying you have to drop a media if its creators are problematic. in facf i dont like that take#just remember you are not immune to propaganda and vivzies rac/ist/anti/semetic opinions are very much influencing these characters writing#and things like her (SELF ADMITTED) ra/pe fet/ish arent helping.#sorry. this is a rant ive been wanting to say for a while bur have never got to lol#im just so confhsed by what this person even meant??? some of the bad shit shes done is IN THE SHOW. its in there#you can see it. with your eyes . help#anyway again this is literally the first thing i saw when i woke up LMAO if i completely misinterpreted this ask lemme knkw#the assumption that ive just taken the word of a few ''haters'' and havent done my own research into this topic is kind of insulting#what did you expect me to say....??? did you think id just be like 'oh ok :3' ans blindly retract all negative statements
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I have been sitting on the floor in the early-modern English section of my college library a lot lately. Incidences of at least one time per week. But truly when you get over your pride and just sit on the floor the skim the books in a particularly interesting section of the library is the best. Unrestrained summer fun.
As is no secret I do like to browse various Complete Works of Shakespeare, and there was one with a particularly vague spine, I'm pretty sure it had been rebound? From its original binding? A lot of the books in this library have these hard plastic bindings that I'm pretty sure are not what they originally came in and it's very strange to me. I know I'm not actually very experienced with lots of libraries (being from an extremely small town with an underfunded one, and other than that only having attended a community college with a pretty small library too)... but it's very strange and I'd never seen it before. I opened up to find out which company published it and when, but the page with the publication info seemed to be missing? I couldn't even find the general editor? But it WAS a sufficient edition with like, original notes and prefatory material. So it was strange.
It seemed to have been previously owned by a particular person who annotated VERY heavily. Either that or somebody read several plays and vandalized the shit out of a library book. The first random page I flipped to, just wanting to see what the footnotes situation might be, was the first page of Richard III, and I was struck how EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE of this VERY LONG play was thoroughly annotated in small, messy handwriting. Lots of highlighting and underlining too of course. Mostly the annotations seemed to be summaries of what was happening, but still I found it very charming. I noticed that when I flipped at random to Much Ado About Nothing, everything was completely blank, making a very clear distinction between what this person read from this edition, and what they did not read. I immediately wanted to go through and see which were the plays they read and annotated.
So the plays they read, which were all furiously annotated on every page in the like manner, were (in order of the table of contents): Richard III, Titus Andronicus, the introduction to Love's Labor's Lost but seemingly not the play, Richard II, Romeo and Juliet, the introduction to A Midsummer Night's Dream but seemingly not the play (what an L on this one), the Merchant of Venice (this was still annotated on every page, but maybe with like still 20% of the margin space left, which I'm wondering if it meant it was either the first or last play they read in this copy?), Henry V, Julius Caesar, Twelfth Night, Hamlet, Othello, the introduction to Measure for Measure but seemingly not the play, and Macbeth.
And then out of nowhere, the Tempest is sparingly annotated, in what is unmistakably an entirely different person's hand. Original owner used only black pen and wrote in very small characters; this person had varying-size penmanship and wrote in a variety of ink and graphite. They also didn't take up 100% of the margins at all times. I don't know who this impostor was that read the Tempest, perhaps a friend of my beloved former possessor of this mysteriously anonymous Complete Works of Shakespeare (after flipping through all of their annotations, we are bosom-friends now)... I don't know. The mystery remains.
I did not take high quality pictures but I was so shocked when I flipped to Richard III I just had to document it
Every. Single. Page is filled like this (I did go back and read their annotations to I.ii because I wanted to experience the scene with them) (I did not take pictures of it but perhaps I should later)
And. PS. Nobody seemingly read and annotated Antony and Cleopatra, but there is some arithmetic on the first page of the introduction. Lol
#i just found this sooooo charming#i dont assume anyone here can identify this edition but? if you know? thatd be cool#certainly they use a distinct font for titles. i like it#the footnotes are pretty much the same as the riverside (at least formatting-wise) but i know it aint that#and you know whats also weird to me??? they have the riverside shakespeare in a two-volume edition??? wtf???#and it's also weirdly rebound in a hard blank plastic. as opposed to having my beautiful wrap-around cover. how could they?#it's just very cute to me. i love reading annotations#i dont annotate my books much at all. i hate writing in margins i feel so crammed. i always write my thoughts in a notebook#that way i can have as much space as i want#tales from diana#i got one of my friends a secondhand edition of oxford world drama's the rover and other plays by aphra behn#and the first four acts of the lucky chance. a previous owner evidently annotated. in PINK GEL PEN#all the way through. and they even put little hearts around certain things. i loved it so much it was adorable#i couldnt have asked for smth more delightful to give to someone#that book was loved!#shakespeare#text post#i'm not sure the math on a&c is the same handwriting as the annotator. but i love how they evidently arent that good at mental math#1099 - 1059 does equal forty. you're right. lol
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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#(( ooc. ))#.... so#if youre wondering why ive been so absent lately. ots bc im dealing with stuff like that. on top of handling everytuing around the house#and additional super stressful family drama#health scares caused by stress#the works. i feel like im a constant state of mindfuckery and i have been since we moved#thoght things would improve after getting away from MIL but apparently not#ive been so exhausted and stressed and pain has bee. spiking so bad#im really trying to be here bc writing has always been a calming thing for me like a fun distracting hobby#to get my mind off irl things but everytime i open up a reply i start crying#bc the words arent there and im too tired to even tupe bc im running myself ragged#and on top of that im dealing with hubby and whatever the f is up with him and the weird#180s he does where 1 second hes the sweetest most attentive guy ive ever known and the 2nd#im crying and apologizing for doing sometjing weong and i dont even inderstand what i did but hes upset at me#and somethings suddenly my fault#or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth#idk. i am really trying to be here i swear i am. i miss you all. i miss the stories we're writing together#i miss by bbys and wanna weite with them bc theyve been loud and active but i iust cant type what i want to#a single paragraph is taking me hours to get out no joke#idk. sprry for dumping all this on the dash out of nowhere im just kinda flailing right now and offkilter#gonna head off to bed and see if an actual good nights sleep for the first time in a week helps with my brain and makes things make sense#hope you all have a goodnight. sorry again for this#negative tw#negativity tw#venting tw#personal tw
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Hey people of tumblr I have an idea of a way to help support Gaza. This one's especially for people living in Christian areas with a lot of mainstream acceptance of israel. It's only a few days until Christmas and as for all Gazans, things are incredibly desperate for the small population of Christian Gazans. In particular here are some articles talking about fears all Christians in Gaza will be dead soon.
So how about we call up our local churches and ask what they're doing to help the people of Palestine?
The articles I've linked come from a variety of backgrounds. Some predate oct 7th. All focus on the plight of Christians in Palestine. Take your pick for what source you think will speak to your audience.
I want you to find a church that is ignoring the genocide or even praying for israel and then point out it's not just people being murdered. It's their people being murdered. Contact your local church like "Hey I'm Name, I'm not really a member of any church these days but it's Christmas and I really want to do something to help people in Palestine. I was wondering if you have something planned over Christmas? Maybe a prayer meeting or a protest or something idk 🥺" Then if you recieve any pushback switch to "oh but I'm just sooooo worried about our fellow Christians unable to celebrate Christmas".
It's a great place to ease people into caring about genocide who normally wouldn't. And if you convince a priest they might tell their whole congregation about how this christmas they have to show up for persecuted christians in jesus' birthplace. Worth a try?
#free palestine#free gaza#christmas#christians in gaza#i did not fact check the articles i linked i wanna be upfront about that#this is from a place of emotive headlines i assume ppl will barely skim bcus thats how ppl engage with me when i link them things#i skimmed the articles and i straight up dislike some of them!#some of them are from right wing backgrounds so ugh#some make such a point of bashing hamas and its like sure yes hamas have done some bad things too does this really need such focus rn#but i reckon some ppl will have a way easier time with their cognitive dissonance if you gave them that article rather than a more focused#also and this is obvious i am not an expert maybe my idea isnt that good pls school me if im an idiot#im not palestinian#im white and was raised christian and like i read the part where they said being mean was a sin and was like okay why are yall ignoring????#so basically this is coming from my background with christian cognitive dissonance and how what they say and what they do are very at odds#but if you learn to point that out using juuuuuuust the right lingo you can make them do better#they generally genuinely do want to be good they just Do Not See the same things i do#and like my autistic ass cant see what all the other kids at church saw so diversity ig#also heads up if you do this you have to be down to pray like a bunch with nice people on the phone or whatevs#the churches i rang arent having separate prayer meetings but did pray with me on the phone and like my relationship with religion is weird#but it was ~emotional~#anyway they are all already praying for palestine near me so thats something ig#i checked in on a church that kinda scared me out of the faith by being homophobic years ago and theyre already prayin#so like idk everyone in the world really is praying for gaza
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so good omens. hm. truly I dont know how to feel. this is the most well executed cash grab i think ive ever seen. like. oh for sure this season Should Not Exist. but neil and presumably a lot of other people looked at it and thought. well that could make a lot of money. and like, these are people who can write and make good tv, like its not bad! its just the most patiently obvious cash in i think ive ever seen. it’s a completely different show. its.. fine. its taking all the things the rabid fans said they wanted and just giving it to them. and like. theyre just gonna keep going you guys asked for a straight drama romance and your going to get it. theyve committed to it now. and theyve done everything right like, there’s nothing truly offensive about it. and for those mad about the cliffhanger guys this is pat and parcel for romance shows they want to make money theyre gonna milk it for all its worth. they cant just live happily ever after, if they did we wouldnt have a season 2 in the first place. truly the right thing to have done with the story was to just have them kiss at the end of season 1 and never touch it again. but now we have this. cool.
#about me#it didnt have the charm of the first one.#i will say that.#the thing that was charming about the original is it was a romance happening in the back of a world ending plot#but given center stage#loads of people have talked about how zira and crowley fully dont affect the plot at all#anathema and newt and the them are the people who truly have agency who affect things#zira and crowley are just hanging out and running around london thats what was Funny!!!#it was charming!#but this is a cash grab. and newt and anathema are not what the people want to spend their money on#so we get maggie and nina. who do fuck all! it doesnt matter if they fall in love!! thats never followed up on!!!#they arent interesting!! what the fuck is maggie compared to anathema device! to adam!#its just because the idea of people figuring out that the bookshop is fucking weird is funny on the surface#this show just took every good omens fanfic trope and threw it in a blender!#gabriel and Beelzebub even got together!! what the fuck!!#all of the writing just went into the main two and everything else fell by the wayside#which is how you cash in on a hot ticket romance. not how you make a good story.#jesus christ i miss the book.#good omens
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So have a new OC! His name is Reynold and he works as like…. CIA or FBI I don’t know yet. His hobby is doting on his younger (by ten years) brother. His younger brother (and a friend) are recruited by a goddess from another world to be the hero (and aid) to saving her world from the demon king. Unfortunately, the hero is bad at saving the world if seems.
The goddess returns to earth and begs Reynold to join her and help the hero - his beloved younger brother. So he agrees under the condition that “I would do literally anything to help him. I only ask when you send me to your world, I want to be a woman.” And the goddess is just like “odd flex but ok” and does so.
Rey (it’s so much cuter than Reynold and still works) then does an excellent job at protecting the hero and solving problems for townspeople … to the point that the demon lord’s army kidnaps her and takes her to their castle as leverage to lure out the hero. The demon lord looks at her and just gets really confused because “your soul doesn’t match your appearance. If you aren’t the hero, were you cursed?” And Rey is not willing to admit to the big bad demon lord ‘well my brother called me creepy since we’re both guys and he wished he had an older sister instead’ so he just looks away and says nothing. Over a week, Rey keeps waiting for torture of some sort (heck, she’d be willing to torture someone for the hero and besides /what/ is otherworldly torture like?) but the demon lord keeps trying to talk and ask questions. Finally, he asks “do you want me to return your form?” And Rey agrees. He kinda misses being a guy.
Finally the hero gets to the castle and is ready to fight the demon lord and … doesn’t understand why there’s an illusion of his brother in the castle since he should be a she last he was aware. Reynold tells him “oh hey! I solved the whole world being doomed problem. I’m engaged to the demon lord. Don’t worry, I arranged for you and your friend to return home! And! I’ve secured visitation rights!”
The hero tries to suggest they team up and take the demon lord out buuuut the demon lord isn’t thrilled by the idea so he transforms into a huge dragon and gets between the brothers. Unfortunately, Reynold thinks that’s kinda hot. Crap. Oh well. He’s gonna be married to him so it’s fine probably. And so that’s how Reynold saves another world and gains a seven foot tall husband.
Also noteworthy: he’s basically a cryptid in two worlds. On earth he’s constantly going radio silent and then popping up at his parents house and picks the lock and stays for ten minutes before leaving. In the other world, rumors of a woman in love with the hero who fought anyone who got too close still linger in multiple towns.
#guess I’ll marry the demon lord?#I love him so much you guys he’s a menace to society#also whenever he talks to the goddess he just pulls out sunglasses to wear#bc she is glowy and has a halo and he’s not going to go blind over this crap#and when he wants to introduce his husband to his parents#the demon lord is like surely this is a bad idea I mean look at me#and Reynold is just buddy you’re literally like the least weird thing I can show my parents in my life#which kinda concerns the demon lord but he agrees#so they go to earth and he watches Reynold about to pick the lock#and gets so confused because WHY ARENT YOU KNOCKING??? like a normal ?#and Reynold looks confused because I HAVE NEVER KNOCKED ON A DOOR MY ENTIRE LIFE#then he agrees to knock because good lord he married an upstanding citizen or something yikes fine#and the demon lord is now VERY concerned by his husband’s standards
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Hey. I'm an adult, so I don't want to interact too much with a minor. But because I'm an adult, I just want to say that I've been 17 and living with a shitty dad.
And I was stuck living in that house until I was almost twenty due to the high cost of living. As soon as I left, though, my mental health improved. Instead of planning to end your life at 18, maybe think about how your life can start at 18. Or 19, if it takes that long to get your feet under you. It would just be really terrible if you ended things right when it was about to get to the good part. When your life is about to begin. Also-- think about your ongoing fandoms. You won't get to see how things end if you're gone. And once you're 18, you can go on road trips to nerd conventions by yourself or with a friend group, which is awesome.
Anyways, I'm rooting for you and I hope you change your mind.
okay first off how dare you be nice to me while i was having Thoughts TM again now im emotional /nu
secondly, thank you actually. i appreciate the concern and im glad im not alone with stuff like this. its hard to see myself really living past becoming an adult and i dont know if ill actually end up getting there, but thank you for giving me some reasons to try, at least.
#ive been in a really bad spot recently mentally so its good to know someone is on my side at least bahaha#thank you nonny#xanbox#also @ adult followers as long as y'all arent creeps to me i dont care if you interact EBGHFG#idk if ive ever made that clear and if its a Your Comfort thing i get it but i just wanted to clarify !!!#if youre weird you get blocked tho period so BERHGBF#dw i know online safety
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idk maybe talking about my writing seems conceited for who hasn't published much of anything and hasn't finished anything as of yet, or maybe all this hand wringing is annoying, but i've written a lot of bits and pieces over the years and it's enough for me to be reasonably comfortable with the basics, you know? but working on something this long is presenting a whole other world of trouble for me and i think i accidentally put a hell of a lot more of myself into it than i meant to. so i'm feeling particularly vulnerable about it being out there and existing. it means a lot to me and that's scary!
#i know i wasn't anywhere near as annoying about publishing light headeds first chapter#obviously i cared about it and i was excited to publish something for the first time in this fandom (wow! i did it!) but its not a big deal#there are no major unknowns with it as a project. i will continue it just couldn't make up my mind about one specific thing#so now the rest of the chapters are on hold while i focus on i&i for a while#i could probably polish up and publish more of my drabbles but its mostly pretty dumb and generic aus that arent saying much of anything#maybe thats being pretentious but i want to say something with my work and like. if it's not meeting my own standards i'm not putting it ou#sorry for all the rambling. i needed to work through some stuff and talking helps#i've always had a contentious relationship with my work which is why you don't see much of it. because it's not good enough#this project is my main creative outlet right now because carpal tunnel and my work schedule have fucked up everything else for me#and like. to be honest i kind of want to destroy it. because it means something to me and it's hard and that's scary#it didn't have someone else's work attached i probably would have deleted it by now#that's a weird place to be with a creative project#anyway if you want to read my dumb bro/grandpa superhero au that started out a gag and quickly devolved into tragedy then let me know ig
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Ive been in this weird transitional state for like a year at this point and i keep putting off doing fun things and seeing my friends bc i feel like i should be “saving money” or “waiting until things settle down” but that just means i havent seen most of my friends in like. An embarrassingly long time. If you’re my friend and I havent seen you in a year I need you to come into my house and drag me out and take me to get boba
#i want boba#genuinely since like last march ive just been sitting on my haunches ready to run if anyone moves at me weird#ive been looking for a new job (i got one) and trying to move (in may) and people keeping like dying??? on me?? and its making it hard to#focus on things that arent like. survival.#maybe once ive moved and have gotten in the groove of my new job and have had time to relax a little bit i’ll come back from the dead#im good overall like ive very happy and chilling for the most part im just like. every time i go outside and see groups of girls out togethe#im like. i miss being in a group of girls. but my social circle hasnt been set up that way since like high school#girls if anyone wants to be my friend i will be making a google form so you can apply
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Hmm might be able to post Malaysia 2009 by tmr morning. I always feel a bit cagey abt posting old stuff during a race weekend tho. Bcs everyone(including myself) is so focused on 2023, but then here I am like "hey did you guys want content from 14 years ago....?"
#friday morning for this wknd is pretty safe bcs the FPs arent even till the afternoon *for me#honestly feels so weird that this race is gonna all be at ideal times for me#even the FPs are after my classes are done#tho my partner for some project was like oh hey are you free to work on it this wknd?#me: ...no#almost said yes and then i remembered that miami is actually at a good time#one i wont even have to wake up even slightly early for#but yeah#i didnt realize this race was completely red flagged and stopped#which makes me want to post it bcs i dont really at all want to wait till after sunday to finish a race that doesnt even restart#so itd be better to finish it off now and then be able to start a new race after miami!#sry i think im just overly methodical abt this kind of thing#but its also a distraction from the fact that im disgustingly deep in finals hell#so id rather plan out posting than think about that LOL#this wknd is gonna be hell for me:#watching the whole entire race wknd bcs its good timing but also having to finish a million assignments#gonna be fun...*i cry to myself*#catie.rambling.txt
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