#you are not alone. you are cared for even if you cant see it
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sometimes i think about how wild a mw2 movie would be if they just dropped soapghost right in the middle with no warning or marketing. like imagine it being beat for beat the exact same, it’s your typical military action movie, promoted as just another military action movie then after they get to the safe house, ghost has to patch up soap and he’s still out of it, overwhelmed by the betrayal and everything he’s seen and ghost needs to ground him and keep him in the present, to remind him that he’s alive and safe so he kisses him and they have sex. the tantrums and the rants and the “ReAl sOLdiErS aRen’t liKe ThAt”, god i can taste it and it’s delicious
#theres never any talk of a relationship or sexuality crisis its just this moment of humanity and comfort to bring soap back to himself#real any time you need me by thirteenbullets vibes#theyre not the type of men to have something as normal as a relationship#theyre just everything to each other they know that and its enough#ghost can be such a complex character if you let him#this guy whos rejected his humanity has buried himself and become a ghost#willingly digging himself out of the grave to stop soap from digging his own#like how are there not more explicitly homoerotic military movies that actually pull the trigger (heh) on the homo part of the eroticism#you know how if movies have even a hint of queerness they wring it out for every drop of respresentation they can get#theres a hundred articles and its mentioned in every interview and it all journalists ask those actors#imagine it being a complete secret and everyone expects just a typical action movie#then boom battle buddy gay sex#like if it were a male and fenale character you would see that scene coming a mile away so why cant it happen with two guys#just doing it is the only way of normalising it#i still see men saying they act like brothers which is denial so strong even egypt is impressed#but imagine the general public expecting this manly man military movie then getting hit with the alone mission flirting and denying it#then getting smacked in the face with tender wound care and grounding love making initiated by the edgelord they were using as a self inser#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#cod mw2#we’re a team. ghost team
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Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.
#my characters#a lot of the fae who are trying to get noll to pick a human take turns joining him as he wanders if he opts to be human sized#if he opts to be small and fly around none of them can actually find him to follow bc he does it precisely to be alone#and makes careful to avoid all of them when he dips#which furthers their friendly obsession with him being their void like where is he we lost him we gotta go bring him back from the abyss!#and hes just off on his own being crippled by anxiety at being a disappointment bc what if he isnt fun enough#absolutely unaware that all his friends are like we gotta go find him hes too good at this#hes going to win the game we have clearly set up to involve humans before he even recruits a human#cause he is TOO GOOD at slipping away ITS NOT FAIR we love him what a weird fae thats our lil guy!#noll really is just out there impressing all of his friends and not knowing hes impressing them bc hes too scared of being abandoned#and i was telling rae but when he does find the human he wants as his for the game#hes like ok so im gonna be honest here i turn into a big sword and you are definitely not going to be strong enough to carry me#and the human just like ok then pick someone else?#and hes like no no i cant you dont get it youre resourceful and im resourceful THEREFORE! i have an idea! just for us!#and then proceeds to shatter himself into shards basically#so that the human can have many smaller easy to control swords rather than one too big sword#and when all of the other fae see it they are absolutely delighted bc they didnt know he could do that! thats so cool! wow! they love him s#and he doesnt tell them that it actually really flippin hurts and being broken is agonizing but he wants to win so badly#anyway hello appreciate the void fae noll and his lil buddy shavuli who can turn into a spear C:#in her human form though she loves to wear hoodies instead of just like .... a skin tight suit with draping fabrics#she does wear biker shorts bc leggy.... she likes to have legs free#but she likes hoodies a lot
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okay but does anyone listen to bronski beat and does anyone GET IT. they released an album, completely unashamedly gay, in the 80s, during the AIDS crisis, during a time of insanely rampant homophobia and over the top conservatism. they released an album with the age of consent for homosexual activity in every european country listed on the sleeve and the phone number for a legal advice hotline for queer people etched into the grooves of the vinyl. they released an album with the opening track dedicated to a hate crime victim, featuring vocals from an openly gay choir. they released an album with songs about homophobic violence, the dangers of following the bible too closely, about leaving behind everything you know and starting over, about homophobic family and homophobic bullying. they wrote about being gay and being proud of it and knowing that there is nothing wrong with who you are. in the face of all the hatred going on in the 80s they released an album that was in-your-face gay and fuck-you queer, and i love them for it.
(see original tags for a lot more commentary)
#bronski beat#for reference : the album is The Age Of Consent#the man the opening track “Why ?” was dedicated to was Drew Griffiths (who according to wikipedia was a#playwright who was victim to a homophobic murder in 1984)#and the choir was The Pink Singers (an openly gay men’s choir in London)#and like yeah. i know this very much centers gay men HOWEVER . considering everything like the time period and#how songs that would’ve been lesbian (see: Voices Carry by Til Tuesday) being basically straight-washed. and also how rampant homophobia wa#(so getting anything even a little gay released was hard bc it was likely to get smashed down by record stores and companies and#radio stations and music reviewers. and us ones particularly )#in this case i don’t care whatsoever and besides they did something absolutely monumental for the whole community if you ask me#as a lesbian i am literally so grateful that this exists and i wasn’t even alive at the time. even now it makes me feel seen.#i cant even imagine what it would’ve been like for a queer kid in the 80s to hear that and maybe know they weren’t alone#so in conclusion: bronski beat i love you forever and jimmy somerville i love you forever
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Helo mimination on adventures of mimi today i got locked out of my house because my brother thinks im a loser who cant be friends with our neighbour
#.mimiming ❜#i was in my neighbour's house rekimdling friendship 🩷 my brother thought i was out to visit my one other friend who lives in walkable#distance . locked the door and gave the key to the security . also i didnt have my shoes so my friend's mother had to go and get the key#i also made plans to meet with another friend but i feel guilty leaving miku all alone#shes also alone with some guy whos fixing her ac so she cant come ever either#sigh . ill see if we can meet up after my parents come home#we probably can . because we are . well .#we have nothing to do#also helo miu 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 im gonna eat lunch and then text you back immediately trust#also i would have texted earlier before socialising but i was sleping (listening to your snork mimimi plalist btw... if you even care)
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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Nobody fucking talk to me i just finished rewatching arcane and it was DEVASTATING I need to KILL
#i have some thoughts marinating about silco and loyalty especially in the last episode#and his relationship with jinx and sevika and vander and ough#its marinating its marinating#but like. vander's philosophy is loyalty above all else and the lanes reflect that when hes in charge#silco's philosophy is that every one betrays him/jinx and that's why he can fight piltover#unlike vander he doesnt care about the casualties or the suffering he causes because hes all alone. he cant trust anyone#but then last episode vander makes TWO choices that put loyalty above all else#the whole show we see silco's power crumbling. the chembarons are riled up marcus dies so he has no pawns in piltover etc#but he makes the decision to trust sevika's loyalty (even says 'i still believe in loyalty')#and bc of that she eradicates a threat for him. she kills finn and picks up his lighter (symbolising power) and gives it to silco#and THEN he chooses not to give jinx up not even to achieve an independent zaun#(granted we dont see it come to fruition)#but in making that choice he assures jinx's loyalty to him even after his death#silco was willing to give up everything hed worked for for jinx and so jinx gave up the chance of reconciliation with vi to achieve their#mutual goal#like. silco had made plans for peace and in setting off the rocket jinx destroyed that possibility#but silco was never gonna go for thag deal anyway AND silco was dead#like jayce said you cant make a deal with a snake and cut off its head#the deal was never gonna work. instead she returned to their original plan of building and using a weapon against piltover#which is the plan silco would have returned to if hed been alive given he wasnt gonna follow through on the deal for peace#so yeah. silcos undercity is built on power rather than loyalty but his control is fracturinf the whole time#its ultimately loyalty which keeps him in power and achieves his goals#ALSO the line 'is there anything so undoing as a daughter' is interesting here#because vander gave up his idealogy of pacifism to protect those he cares about in order to save vi#he gives into violence once again because its the only way to save her from silcos goons#but silco gives into loyalty and turns his back on his vision of a free zaun because of jinx#idkidk its all fun and muddled and hmmm#arcane
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guys what if i told you ive been thinking about dess and actually i think dess/chara might be able to work out in the drkau...like ive been doing some thinking into dess and her reasons and why she does what she does and how she cares about people and im starting to nail down the role i want asriel to play, and. and.
guys i think dess is actually going to be able to change. i think dess figures out how to change but asriel never does....
#chatter#its about like. okay azzy's big thing is normality right.#ive decided hes our monster representative for the prophecy#(which i could make a whole post on but these tags are not the place)#which means dess ISNT which means dess isnt stuck by that#which means like. god this needs so much context i dont have time to give but.#in order for asriel to change he has to come to terms w the fact that a lot of things are his fault#like if he had reacted differently dess maybe stays#or at least doesnt take kris with her#and DESS comes to terms w this. dess is aware that she sorta fucked kris's life#and no shes not their mom but she does love them and care for them#and eventually would start to realize like. i have to be there for them#it wont be perfect but i can TRY even if trying is really really scary#and its this idea of like. what dess-chara-kris-frisk have#is family that could NEVER fit into what society sees as 'normal'#but they have each other. and they want to try. so they make something good#vs asriel chasing normality and pushing everyone away and at the end of it all like#that cant make you happy. all it does is make you Alone. and i dont know if he like#changes. cause hes so deep in he cant admit he was wrong cause then what was any of this for?#anyways let me remind you that noelle is our main character--#(though tbf since azzy is her brother and has a huge impact on her life its fair he gets a focus too)#I LOVE MY OWN AU <3#drkau
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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im not gonna hijack that post but theres such an odd fixation i feel in general on the idea that you HAVE to argue and clap back and debate with every single person you see online (even knowing most of them do this in bad faith) and its so. are you not tired. do you know that when ur arguing out in the open like thst ESPECIALLY if you're not part of the group being targeted ur likely just exposing the people you know who ARE part of these minority groups to more vitrol that theyre likely already experiencing more than enough of and would like to avoid as much as possible. please block and move on more often.
edit: idk why this is getting attention all of a sudden but please dont be a clown in my tags or replies.
#cliffnotes/.txt#and also if it can be done in a way where that friend or mutual doesnt have to be exposed just send em a quick message on who to block#like xyz is racist and i saw em floating around so u should block them...#smthn to that degree idk#a lot of the ppl i block i never interact with.#add more people that u see having bad faith takes often to filters too#make your time online less miserable for you and the ppl u care abt#also i didnt even get into the fact that ppl are so ready to lile#push being agsinst xyz group more just to hate them than to care about the people affected#its always hate terfs but not love trans women#its always hate racists but dont love black and brown folk#hate misogynists but dont love women#its a lot of that and its odd#you have to care about and support others too.#you cant build a community off hate alone
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no one except me should be allowed to touch childhood friends to lovers tropes ever
#this is really only about twst#theres not really a problem with riddle and trey but it’s just so off putting to me for some reason it doesn’t feel right#they’re relationship seems so strictly platonic to me. like as a kid trey had this friend who didn’t get to have actual fun#their*#and he allowed him to actually have those experiences#but then everything went wrong because he did and you see him suffering and you just want to help!!!#you want the best for him you want to see him happy. i cannot see anything romantic in their relationship#for kalim and jamil it isn’t even about them being childhood friends it’s about how jamil feels towards kalim#maybe in the future after they graduate they’ll be friends but i don’t think jamil will ever actually feel comfortable around kalim#they don’t even have any chemistry like riddle and trey sort of do#and i don’t know how silver and sebek isn’t obvious#they read as brothers through and through. silver literally said sebek is a brother to him.#i cant even comprehend seeing their relationship as romantic ever in any universe#they seem more like brothers than jade and floyd do#idk. my brain is just so wired to seeing them as brothers that whenever i see people ship them i feel sick#oh and theres also the fact that i feel like silver is so much more mature than sebek. i think thats also a really big factor.#it really affects their dynamic#silver has such older sibling who takes care of their younger sibling alone#like if both of them didn’t have parents silver would totally take up the parental mentality and he would always make sure sebek had someone#to rely on#ok that’s enough hate posting for now
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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
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hmm i think i am not coping. very well
#i feel like ive hit a wall in my ability to handle anything and idk how to hold myself together anymore#i see myself spiraling terribly but i am so exhausted in every single way that i cannot bring myself to care#and it’s going to kill me one day but i cant even care abt that#july was so horrible. so so bad it’s the worst month ive had since my dad’s passing#i feel so incredibly empty and stagnant and stuck i feel like i am in a tar pit and ive been here before#but i no longer have the strength to claw myself out of it#nor the support of others (irl i love u mutuals)#i quite literally only have my brother at this point and with how physically abusive he can become it’s not like that’s a relationship i#truly feel supported and safe in but it’s all i have#ive always been isolated severely by my family + the Issues have always made socialization so exhausting#i feel like im just floating and no one knows me nor cares bc how can they. i either just push people away to avoid getting hurt or i dont e#even try. and when i want to it’s a task so daunting and draining#i don’t have it in me despite knowing the lack of human connection is absolutely destroying me and ripping me to shreds#despite knowing a community of some kind would help#but i also feel like i offer fucking nothing and am worthless so would i even accept the help given to me. probably not#i wish i wasnt so intense of a person in every single way. and yet i will never be enough either#i feel like ive been clinging and digging my claws into my sanity that was not really present in the first place#ive been put through so much i couldnt cope with so repeatedly and so young i think by the time i wqs 10 i had already hit a wall but you#cant just stop living so it’s only compounded on top of that#it feels unhealable it feels like just part of me now.#i see a complete absence of a future for myself and i have no one to stay alive for anymore#not my parents not my pets not my friends and i dont know how to stay alive for myself bc it’s not something ive ever wanted#idk anymore. ive never felt so utterly lost and alone and broken lmao.#no wonder this relapse has been so all-consuming#dlt ltr
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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whats fun is looking at the thread youre hanging on by and seeing where it's about to snap. whats even more fun is deliberately cutting through that thread because you know it'll just snap anyways so why bother clinging to it as if youll make it somehow
#im at the point of complete and total apathy#no matter how many ''life plans'' i make itll all end with me killing myself anyways#ive already proven that i cant change so why bother trying#shes right i did go right back to how i was before going away. no actually thats a lie i got even worse ahah#i dont care. i just dont care.#i actually got a library card on my own today. i even reserved some books and just have to wait for another local library to send them over#i even have plans on friday to get an actual id! but yknow what?#i could still jump off a bridge tomorrow without batting an eye.#i dont care about ''making it'' anymore. whats the point when once i die i'll just reincarnate into the world i was supposed to be in?#whats the point when even if i do manage to become a successful person i'll just be cutting myself and planning my suicide either way?#i dont care. i'll put on my favorite outfit and go jump somewhere high enough that theres no chance id survive i dont care.#i'll even bring all my pills and my box cutter with me for good measure#i really dont care. i really think this is gonna be it.#i rethink for a second when i remember how those i love are going to feel but then i remember i wont be alive in this world to see it#i'll see everyone again when im home anyways. if i will it enough i can bring them along and we'll all be happy#and even if i never wake again then even nonexistence will be better than this#i see no real reason not to anymore. i dont have a future that doesnt end in me taking my own life anyways#i really could do it tomorrow if i have the willpower for it. im going to be left alone in the house for a few hours so#no one could stop me#its tempting#and you know me#self-destructively impulsive without a care in the world towards self-control?#we'll see. we will see.#please pray i will make it home everyone.
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Whatever me when I am obsessed with max and chloe's love in a Love affects the world and it's so beautiful and crazy way and not a They're so gay fandom shipping culture way even though they are so gay but I need to be pretentious about their undying love because if I'm not then who will be. The people in the max caulfield tag who call her an ao3/wattpad self insert because they don't care about her at all? I don't think so
#SHES JUST WHITE THATS WHY SHES LIKE THAT LEAVE HER ALONE. You dont even care about max thats whyyou cant see her as anything more thant hat#❀#lisblogging
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AND INARIUS
OH GOD INARIUS YOU POOR SUMMER CHILD. YOU SWEET DUMB CHILD. YOU ARROGANT IDIOT. I AM TEARING HIM LIMB BY LIMB. SHACKING HIM LIKE A RAGGED DOLL
#diablo iv spoilers#my problematic trait is that i love inarius' character#he's such an asshole but he got played so bad and manipulated at every turn i cant help it#he was so obsessed trying to atone for his sins. so blinded by his own self righteousness. so filled with hatred after millennia of torment#he couldnt even see his own doom. he couldnt see he was walking right to his damnation and dragging everybody else with him#DONT YOU UNDERSTAND? HE WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL BLINDED BY THE NEED TO FIND SALVATION AND FORGIVENESS FROM A HEAVEN THAT WONT EVER ACCEPT HIM#HE WAS CAST OUT. HEAVEN GAVE HIM OUT AS A TRUCE AND LEFT HIM FOR MILLENNIA TO BE TORMENTED. BC HE DARED TO DREAM- TO LOVE. TO BUILD A REFUG#AND SEEK PEACE AWAY FROM THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. FOR TRYING TO DEFY THE ORDER OF THE UNIVERSE#AND AFTER HE GOT OUT THEY WOULDNT TAKE HIM. HE COULDNT RETURN HOME. AND HE WAS FILLED WITH SO MUCH HATRED FOR WHAT HE BUILD. FOR EVERYTHING#HE THOUGHT IF HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING HE HAD DONE. EVERYTHING HE HAD EVER LOVED. HE WOULD BE FORGIVEN. BUT THE HEAVENS DIDNT CARED#THEY LEFT HIM TO DIE IN THE PIT OF THE DAMNED. STABBED BY THE ONE HE LOVED. THE ONE HE FORSAKE HEAVEN AND HELL FOR. STRIP FROM HIS WINGS#HE LOST EVERYTHING BY TRYING TO SCAPE THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. BY DARING TO DREAM ABOUT SOMETHING MORE. ONLY TO BE DISILLUSIONED BY IT#HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING HE BUILD TRYING TO SEEK REDEMPTION FOR HIS SIN. FOR THINKING THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE THAN CONFLICT. FOR LOVING#AND IN THE LAST MOMENT HE REALIZES THERE IS NO SALVATION. NO HOPE. HE'S DAMNED. HE CANT SCAPE THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. ITS IN HIS NATURE#AND SO HE DIES ALONE IN DARKNESS#GOD IT DRIVES ME INSANE
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