#you are just so fucking nifty
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⭐️- Put this star in the inbox of your favorite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity 💖🌈💜
Miranda! 💜
#ask arcie#i love my talented tumblr kindred spirits#tysm for these nifty gifs you create!#you are just so fucking nifty#and ilysm
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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I just finished Hazbin Hotel AND HOLY FUCKING FUCK!!! THERE'S SO MANY QUESTIONS LEFT!!! SO MUCH NEW INFORMATION TO UNPACK!!! SO MUCH I WANNA SEE FROM THE MAIN CREW!!! AND SO SO SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!
FUCK man I have a massive headache from all the screaming and crying I just did but HOLY FUCKING HELL man was that amazing!!!
I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR SEASON 2!!! IT CANNOT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH OMG
#cubbs.talks#holy fucking shit balls bro#this was an insane season final#FUCK YOU Lute#FUCK YOU Adam#i fucking love Nifty#i want a shirt with her on it and a beanie and a plus his and just all the fucking Niffty merch out there I LOVE HER SO MUCH#she's literally my favorite character now#Lucifer is hot and cute asf don't judge me#i've never been into dilfs but Lucifer could-#anyway#salute for my boy Sir Pentious#i love my little snake boy and he deserves the world...and Cherri Bomb <3#FUCK YOU SERA HAH WHAT YOU GOTTA SAY NOW BITCH?!?!#Emily is so cute and I love her and she's adorable and she and Sir Pentious would be the best of besties i can tell you from right now#hazbin hotel#who the FUCK owns Alastor's soul#i NEED to fucking know!!!#Fucking hell Vivian hahahah#Best Series of 2024 so far I'll tell you that
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sometimes I think too hard about the logic of the clone army, from the perspective of the clone army, and just about break my brain.
#what do you MEAN they just#for 10 years they like... grew and trained them for a war that hadn't started?#against an enemy they... like... shouldn't have really... I mean. there was no war yet what did they train for exactly?#Or am I... what am I missing?#like did they always know they'd be fighting droids primarily and if so how exactly was that explained?#from a 'no no there's definitely not one person manipulating both sides of this' perspective#I get that the Kaminoan business model was more concerned with profit than ethics but did NO ONE have questions here?#the clones themselves once older?#and that's without even getting into the 'did you not have more questions before embracing this nifty army?' thing re: the jedi#I'm really very new to this side of Star Wars I don't know TCW very well I hate 90% of the prequels so much what am I missing#just write the fucking cadet era fic Poe jfc#logic is not nor has even been a SW priority no one cares
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This my friends is an example of be careful for what you wish for! 🥲
IF YOU READ THE TAGS THEY’RE SPOILERS!!!
#AS SOON AS THEY BECOME CANON YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME VIVI#I AM FUCKING SOBBING#MY PARENTS ARE CONCERNED SINCE I WAS SCREAMING SO MUCH💀#ANGEL AND HUSK WERE SO CUTE#AND NIFTY WAS FUCKING BADASS#ALASTOR CAN LOSE HIS POWERS#VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE THE DEFINITION OF WLW#I’M JUST GLAD IT WASN’T ANGEL#ALSO LILITH?!?!#FLUE AND HER ARE PLANNING SOME FUCKED UP SHIT
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM LOSING MY MIND this is SO GOOD!
I love how Charlie is being positioned like a marionette mid performance, and she is very clearly incredibly uncomfortable-- but she's not actually trying to fight against it. She is not pulling away or trying to hide, she's looking directly at Alastor, watching him as he stitches her new confidence in place.
AUs are free ideas! You can do whatever you want forever! i would love to see more of your thoughts on this!
Smile, Charlie!
THIS comic by @abombihoney stuck in my head and i got this image, and i HAD TO get it out of my system
So yeah, here.
And... if @abombihoney doesn't mind, i could do a little AU with this and draw few more sketches
ACTUALLY WAIT, THIS FEELS LIKE KIND OF STUFF THAT COULD HPPEN IN BREAKFAST AU?? MAYBE??? i don't think i'll go that far in this au, but???
#tbh i hadn't thought past “hey would it be fucked up or what if alastor did this”#but now im thinking of repercussions of this actually happening#Would Charlie try to hide it?#would the stitches show on her face when she does magic the way it does for alastor?#oh and alastor has to be so genuinely happy#you can spin this as alastor genuinely doesn't realize this is fucked up.#for him this is no different from teaching nifty how to hunt her prey or a easier way to remove bloodstains#or alastor knows exactly what he is doing#a message to all that can be read many different ways. that the princess trusts him to let him do magic on her#that he was powerful enough to trick/coerce her into weaving his magic into her own- prominently displayed on her face as she emulates HIM#not to mention the nuclear fall out when everyone else finds out what she has done#would they believe that charlie wanted this? would they try to pin the blame on alastor?#charlie once again coming to Al's defense as he smirks in the background#man i just meant to scroll tumblr for a bit while im on break not be possessed by the brainrot again i got work to do#but i will be rotating this in my mind omg#new thoughts have been unlocked#hh#chit chat#reply
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You know my dad made an account on Instagram AND tumblr to follow me and make sure I’m not posting anything bad well lol #helicopterbit also you’re my favorite parent rn so you’re chill
#love you#pretty neat#almost nifty#love you a lot#not that I don’t love mom#I do#but she’s mean sometimes#unintentionally#it’s not her fault#her mother#is passive agressive#as fuck#so honestly proud#she’s cool#just mean sometime#maybe not on purpose#but it still hurts#I’m sorry#I’m hurting.
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Hey!! I have a request! Could you do the hazbin hotel characters and fem! CatNap reader! I know CatNap is a boy but I would like to see what kind of head canons they would have for a female version of CatNap. Also maybe reader would love chasing things around since cats do that?
HAZBIN HOTEL X FEM CATNAP!READER HEADCANNONS
prompt: you are female resident who helps sinners with insomnia
OKAY FIRST OFF! YOU DEFINITELY STILL SMELL LIKE VANILLA AND LAVENDER!🦆 NO ONE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS TO ME 😭
What I headcannon is kinda cartoony as reader has her legs cross as she just nods listening to a sinner’s sleep problem as she is just wearing glasses and a vest. Dead ass she just knocks them out like. “Problem solved!”
Charlie made you a room so residents and sinners could come in and have you help them sleep. Like either you knock them out and walk away. Or you actually stop being a lazy mofo and help them personally.
I headcannon based on the fluffy plush bodies that reader is still flat like the male catnap, cause obviously she doesn’t have a chest just like the plush body of Bobby bearhug. That’s basically how I imagine reader’s body is with her being like a little more skinny but definitely having trouble with people asking what her gender is.
“I’m a fucking cat, that’s what I am.” Is what reader would say irritated as it’s obvious in her feminine/decent voice.
Sassy catnap!reader is a goal as you would literally just do shit for shits and giggles😭✨🔥
Headcannon you have a purple vest with a white dress shirt and a black or white skirt with a few moon patterns on it while the color of your dress shirt as a moon pendent💗🦆
You straight up knocked a person out with your red smoke because they had sexualized you during the session and all you had to say was. “Oh really? Count to three…” “count to wh-” immediate knocked out as they fell face first from the chair as you smile with a full grin.
You used your claws to cut open a piece of candy for nifty as she hugs you and walked away happy. You love helping….
Alastor ran from you as you were chasing after him like a predator because he said he doesn’t need sleep…okay so imagine this….
You are sneaking like a lion behind Alastor as he drinks tea and he is like “I feel watched” with a sweatdropped and next thing people see in the halls is you grinning as you drag a motionless Alastor who still holds his tea up.
You wrapped your tail around Charlie to help her put up a banner as you file your claws as it was time to trim them. Like I imagine that as vaggie is like “What.” With a blank confused face seeing her girlfriend get lifted by a 8ft tall female cat
I can see reader having those teas that help people to sleep just incase they don’t like being passed out “force”. So you just make them tea as you listen to them rant as they fall asleep
Imagine reader reading a book as Lucifer is having a hyper moment behind her as she just peacefully reads….
It gives off “calm friend x hyper friend” vibes
Lucifer had one time patted you, and kept petting you until you purred so he can feel relaxed. He likes your purrs.
The duck king definitely has a picture of you purring on his lap…he even has it as his wallpaper kinda because of how soft and good smelling your fur is
OOOH IMAGINE YOU AND ANGEL HAVING A FASHION SHOW IN HIS ROOM💗🦆
Angel definitely gets you some nice clothes to match your aesthetic or purple clothing with white and cream.
You carry nifty in your mouth as if she was your kit….its cute okay…like niffty straight up smile as you hold her like your own kitten.
“This is ma mom now!” Nifty says happily as you just walk around with the back of her dress in your mouth.
Cherri bomb was good about you by Angel dust as Angel had put an image of how cool and badass you are at not following the rules. She always tries to persuade you into giving her your red smoke to make bombs out of it. SHE ONLY WANTS TO CAUSE DESTRUCTION!!!🦆‼️
Sir Pentious brings his egg boiz to you when they can’t sleep so you can use your red smoke on them. They snuggle in your purple fur as you just play a lullaby for them
I imagine you and husk purring by each other out of no where confused…but it’s because of your peaceful scent installed in your fur and body.
You still have your signature cocky smile before you knock a bitch out with the gas coming from your mouth.
I can see how you have a moon ring as [favorite hazbin hotel character] has a sun ring to show off your friendship with them
Imagine how reader gets groomed by the whole hazbin hotel crew because of their 8ft tall frame…there’s a lot of extra work in grooming your fur.
You definitely have those candles as well with that lavender smell with hint of vanilla. You have so much aromatherapy stuff for people. You might as well be the aroma goddess-
I headcannon you using your demon form (basically that form where the player sees catnap as a skinny monster) to scare people 😭 you’re an asshole as I imagine Angel getting ready for his morning to only see you behind the shower curtain with a creepy smile
Angel screamed and ran out the room looking crazy…..😭 Charlie found out and made you apologize to Angel as he was locked in his room..
He’s definitely not going to the bathroom alone-
Just like my other catnap! Reader, you definitely walk around slowly but stealthy releasing that poppy gas just incase a resident or your friends try sneaking out. “It’s time for bed…” you says quietly as you move smoothly around the hotel hallways
Just like before, Lucifer was scared of you until you showed him you can be quite the loving person you can be. Like Lucifer will lay on your body for comfort if he was getting busy from paper work in his office.
I can imagine Angel trying to get you to use your gas on Valentino and you’re like “sure” as you put a jar to your mouth and release it and give it to Angel.
#catnap#catnap x reader#catnap!reader x hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x catnap!reader#crossover#poppy playtime#poppy playtime x reader#poppy playtime x hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel x platonic!reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x female reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin vaggie#hazbin husk#hazbin charlie#hazbin lucifer#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin x you
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My Darling, My Honey
Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 13)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |
Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
Part 13:
After practically being dragged by Vaggie back into the main lobby of the hotel with Alastor quietly humming behind the two of you, you were basically swarmed by Charlie, Angel, Husk and Nifty.
"WHERE WERE YOU? I was so scared!" Charlie barely manages to get out past the blubbering tears streaming down her face as she hugs you.
Angel examined your body with all of his arms, checking to make sure you were okay, "Geeze, toots, how'd you manage to survive that long against Smiles over there? I was sure you'd be dead meat!"
Husk gave you a glance up and down, "Glad you're alright. I'd hate to miss out on getting to know another drinking buddy." Husk glances over to Angel and grumbles under his breath, "You owe me $50."
"You were betting on if (y/n) was alive???" Vaggie groans, hands rubbing her face in exasperation.
Nifty is basically hyperventilating in your face, sniffing and examining your hair strand by strand, "Yup- still gross- EW!" Before she launches off your shoulders to go and do god knows what somewhere in some far corner of the hotel...
You let out a breathy chuckle, "I appreciate the concern... and the vote of confidence... Angel..." You give a sarcastic glare over in the spider's direction, earning a sheepish smile from Angel.
Taking Charlie's hands in your's, you take one of your hands to dry the tears from her eyes and say, "Charlie, you don't need to cry. You're such a sweet girl. I honestly can't thank you- and Vaggie-" you smile in Vaggie's direction before continuing, "- for saving my life and bringing me here to the Hazbin Hotel. I came here to find the love of my life- back from when I was alive. It's only been a few hours, yet you've already helped me fulfill the goal I've been trying to achieve for decades!"
Your words brought surprised looks upon Charlie, Angel, and Husk's faces.
Husk nearly dropped the glasses he was cleaning, "Uh.. Say what now?"
"Excuse me, but did you just say you found the love of your life... from when you were alive?? Who the hell-" Angel started to say before Alastor walked over put his hand on your shoulder,.
"Oh, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me." Husk interrupted Angel's sentence with the most deadpan yet exasperated voice he could muster.
"Wait... you mean... Freaky face has a fuckin' WIFE???" Angel yelled out in disbelief. "What the actual FUCK? I didn't think that guy was capable of love!"
"Ahem." Static noises became louder as Alastor glared in Angel's direction.
"Alright, alright, jesus, sorry! Husk, I need a drink."
"Already on it."
Meanwhile, Charlie just stood there as still as a statue from the shock. Until she suddenly started chuckling slowly, "Ah ha... hahaha... wait... really?" She brought her hands up to her mouth, trying to hide the huge grin that was slowly forming on her face.
You nodded, "Well, not quite wife haha... I was killed before he could propose..."
"Geeze, talk about grim.."
"Why, I do say that is quite enough from the peanut gallery!" Alastor piped up, menacingly twisting his head towards the bar where Angel and Husk were.
Charlie turned to Alastor, "How come you never mentioned you had someone special before?"
"Well my dear Charlie, I am a very private person, I do not often willingly divulge personal information about myself or my life back when I was alive."
"Oh." Charlie looked down at the ground dejectedly, thinking she was closer to Alastor than to be kept at such length still.
You patted Charlie's head, "Don't worry- I'll be happy to chat with you anytime! Though I don't know if you'll have fun hearing how I killed my husband- er- before Alastor. Maybe I'll have to settle for stories about my art career!" You chuckle smiling at her.
"Jesus, she IS crazy after all."
"Takes crazy to know crazy"
"Oh, shut up."
Charlie gasps, suddenly perking up, "Oh.. MY... GOSH!! Does this mean we get to host the very first wedding at our hotel??" She squeals and gives both you and Alastor the puppy-eye look.
You link your arm through Alastor's and look up at him with an inquisitive look.
"Ahaha! Why, if it is what my dear (y/n) desires, then that is what we shall do!"
You grin and bring your left hand up and hold it out to Charlie, "We already have the rings!"
Charlie blinks blankly and her mouth hangs open holding your hand to examine the ring on your hand. Vaggie leans over to look as well, "I honestly don't know I missed that..."
After staring at the ring for a while, Charlie smacks Vaggie's arm a bunch before squeezing her in a big embrace- the sounds of her squealing excitedly filled the room.
"WE HAVE A WEDDING TO PLAN!!!!!"
-> Part 14 - Final
Tag List:
@mysticwitchcraftco @lil-bexie @lonely-burger @cherry-cola-100 @angelxx7 @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 @avitute @justhellacesome @mcrtrashfan @spookysisters @galaxywing-has-adhd @ggyalruu @trashbin-nie @fudosl @night-shadowblood-writes2 @memospacexx @yuraaahs @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @ghostdoodlen @moschinski @cannibalcoyote @missam @reader3 @yourworstgf @justaproudslytherpuff @milkspong3 @xdolls-crownx @1potato2rulethemall @1rxsemary1 @xxcrispxx @zardward @robin-the-enby @mylenapony11 @silvermoondarksky @bootylimpics @amarokofficial @euphoricaphrodite @blueyobsessedgirly @need-a-therapist @knifukiller @huayan @hwrimonsjer @no1sillybilly @kimmikreates @icarus-has-falllen @watchinthestarz @lady-lik3r @yunxi-11085 @luzzbuzz @tsukilover11 @plntmxrss @houmi @demoarah @papas-ghoulette @trashbin-nie @d-darlingyourbleeding @hallothankmas
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#fanfic#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon#alastor x you#alastor hazbin#hazbin alastor#radio demon#the radio demon#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbinhotel#alastor x y/n#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin hotel fanfiction
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Fun times at the Hazbin Hotel!
Lucifer: UGH... I'm so hungover...HOW am I hungover?
Husk: I can field that one boss, yesterday I bet you that you couldn't make the best liquor in all of creation with your powers and...weeeeell...
Angel: Heeerrrreeeeey HUSK....YOU are PRETTY! LET'S GET MARRIED!
Husk: Everybody but you is still drunk.
Charlie: *On phone* WELL FUCK YOU MOM, I DON'T...care...*SOBBING"...
Vaggie: I'ma... I'ma STAB your bitch mom Charlie, it's HAPPENING!
Alastor:*Outside* And THAT...is my en-TIRE backstory lamppost! *HIC* YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!
Nifty: I just CLEANED the en-TIRE neighborhood!
Husk: She's a drunk cleaner, it's a thing.
Lucifer: ... well how are YOU not drunk or hungover?
Husk: Honestly? I've had stronger.
Lucifer: Respect.
Angel: IT'LL BE A SPRING WEDDING!
Husk: Bitch we're all ready engaged , take a nap.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#charlie morningstar#charlie magne#vaggie hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#nifty hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel nifty#hellaverse#Mick Scenes.
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The way I am obssesed with Angel's relationship with the girls- and no, I don't mean it on a token gay guy on the gals group™ but rather how he seems to have this- older brother ish sense to him when he is with them.
He is the one that mocks Vaggie even on her lowest point but he was also the one to rush to her side when Charlie and Alastor left- no to mention he was the one leading the other guys to prepare the hotel later on.
He is the one the keep Nifty safe- even though he is extremely weirded out by her antics, and even didn't react with aggression when she was a bout to stab him (that shit wouldn't had flied with any character I tell you lmao) also LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE-
He is the one that protected Charlie from HIS abuser, shielding him from his world from day one- and overall just making sure she stayed safe, and away from Val.
And then there is Cherrie- his ride or die he trusts above anyone else. She is the one he rants to about his horrible day at the studio (which is bad enough to make her RUN to the Hotel after 5 months btw, so who knows what the hell was on those textes) tho I am inclined she is the older sibling at the relationship. I dunno she just has that vibe. She protects him alot more than he does her (that is not to say he doesn't protect her- he literally pushed her away from Pen's invention at the Pilot) and I like that, is a little change or dynamic with his other relationships.
I normally don't like to call a platonic relationship "sibling coded" unless is VERY explicitly implied that is the case, but honestly- with Angel I am willing to do an exception, because of this:
Is not far fetched to think Angel might had projected Molly onto his female friends- SPECIALLY Charlie, who was often draw with her on older sketches. Their dad was abusive, their relationship with their brother non-existent (this actually intrigues me alot because I can see Niss having beef with Angel but the fuck did Molly do?) and the mom isn't mentioned yet, so I am willing to think all they had was each other- flash forward to now, with Angel separated from his beloved sister, trapped onto an soul contract with his abusive ex, and meeting a bunch of girls that had reediming qualities- my guy had issues ok let him be.
#Angel had taken baths with at keast two of these people trust me I was KeeKee#hazbin hotel#angel dust#cherri bomb#charlie morningstar#nifty hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#molly hazbin hotel
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How about the Hazbin hotel gang with seraphim child reader who just somehow appeared after ep 8
╭ . . . 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎 ੭
𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐁𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ⿻ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦??
⌦ 𝒲𝒜𝑅𝒩𝐼𝒩𝒢𝒮 ﹕angel dust - swearing, just him being him. Alastor - ill intent, possible swearing. Mentions of killing, mentions of blood. Nifty - she tries to kill you, dw you dont die. this too me so long im gonna cry
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ okay, firstly just know that the crew goes fucking crazy- I mean they just fought an entire army of exorcist angels and killed Adam, the first man Adam!! So they all think that you're sort of there to try and punish them all for it, so they all get ready to attack (even though you're LITERALLY a child, children are wild though)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ that's until Charlie, bless her heart, recognizes you (and depending on if you tried to defend her in court just like Emily) and rushes up to you, holding her arms out happily- thats until Angel Dust surprisingly tries to stop her
"It's you!" Charlie gasped, her eyes widening in a pleasant surprise, you were the third and youngest seraphim and much like your older sister Emily felt the need to defend Charlie and her idea of redemption- the thought of allowing those who suffered to see the error of their ways and correct them and then given their reward of eternal peace sounded brilliant, much like Emily you were horrified to learn of the exterminations. You were the first one to openly agree to what Charlie had said despite Adam's comments and facial expressions, you also helped Emily in trying to make the court see what was wrong with this method, unfortunately your plans did not work, though Charlie remembered your efforts and clearly she enjoys your presence. At the glee in her tone, you smiled and stepped forward, wanting to give a hug to the princess of hell though paused in confusion when someone looking oddly like a spider stopped her.
"Woah there toots!" the spider called out to his friend, grabbing her arm to halt her movement- Angel dust was staring both you and Charlie down- a look of uncertainty and distrust painted all over his face "Why ya going to rando angels? what if they were sent down here to finish the job for Adam?", Angel did have a point- you appeared put of no where and was just standing outside the hotel? pretty suspicious.. though Charlie is quick to cool things down "Oh no no no! They're alright, they're a friend! They mean no harm at all- in fact [name] was one of the angels who supported my idea!" she turned to you joyfully, smiling from ear to ear "We can trust them!" ... "okay but how did they end up here? in uh hell?" Husk piped up, his voice full of boredom- or annoyance (you can never really tell with husk, what an odd man) "Oh I fell! ... or rather- I threw myself out of heaven" you happily answered the question, giving everyone a quick second to process what the actual fuck you just said.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ thats how you joined the hotel! Pretty nice innit??
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Charlie adores you! you're such a sweet little thing, you're a sweetie and are just so kind to everyone!! (at least that's what she likes to think)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she thinks of you as a little small sibling!, after all you're the youngest of the team and act just like her, plus she always wanted a little sibling so you're perfect!
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ any ideas she thinks of or any redemption exorcises she runs them by you- to see if they can be more or less effective to get her friends into heaven
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Since Charlie could only stay in heaven for so long, she loves to ask you about heaven and how it was like- always being so invested in your stories, she honestly cannot get enough of them!
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ also, Charlie is... painfully aware that she can never get into heaven, ever. Afterall, she's not only a hell-born but also literally the heir to the throne of hell so yeah there is no chance for her redemption, something she cannot handle- she cries knowing this but now that she has you- someone who ran from heaven, actively choosing to leave and come here gives her comfort. Now she'll never be alone, she has you and you have her!
𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ At first, Lucifer was startled and untrusting of you- you're a seraphim, someone that was just like him and could possibly actually take him down despite you being an actual child.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ over time, the king of hell did grow warmer to you, after all he sees a bit of himself in you. Both ex-angels, both hate heaven.... it's like you're his second little one!
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Sometimes, when lucifer isnt busy with his actual child, he hangout with you- entertaining you with his magic while you return the favor with little stories and things, sometimes you even create little gifts like flowers for him.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Lucifer vows to keep you safe, even though you can easily take down hundreds of sinners and even overlords, it's paternal instincts what can i say?
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ this man totally makes you ducks- he has enough experience in making ducks so you know own a few dozen in your hotel room- how lovely!!
𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ oh this man, this radio demon. He's out for your soul, absolutely hell-driven to get it, and it's all for power (who could have guessed)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He doesnt like kids, in fact he can confirm that he absolutely HATES children though he will act all kind and lovely to you- remember though it's all an act! don't fall for it, he just wants your soul (if he gets your soul, your angelic soul? fuck- he'll be even more powerful than before, having an angel's soul would make him practically invincible!)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ This guy, funny fella really. HE CANNOT BUGGER OFF. Whenever you need help with anything he's the first to appear and offer a helping hand- and then in return as a favor back asks for a deal- is he serious? (yes. he always is)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Alastor though also, much like everyone else becomes a a bit soft for you- occasionally creating those little weird shadow creatures to play with you, since everyone around you are adults and are busy it's a way of keeping you entertained when they're busy
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He, also, understands that you are more powerful than him- and knows that if he gets on your nerves enough he'll probably become dust.
𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ at first, Nifty only had one goal: to kill you (hey don't blame her! Charlie told her to stab and she's still under that impression)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ good for you though!! coz you fly up right as she even tries to stab her dagger through your chest- Charlie and Vaggie immediately grabbing nifty to stop her from moving and killing you.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ after the whole misunderstanding, Nifty actually enjoys begin with you! you're clean, and help kill bugs (well really it's you pointing the bugs out to Nifty and her killing them)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ You're, unsurprisingly, taller than Nif so she likes to climb up on you and sit on your shoulders or stand on your back while holding onto your shoulders. She finds you the most comfortable to climb- plus she can hide in your wings and be used as a secret weapon.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she adores playing with roaches with you- while you are grossed out by it slightly, you still play to entertain Nifty (then after you sanitize your whole body about ten times)
𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel tends to avoid you, not out of hate or spite or anything- it's just.... well he is aware of how he is and well he doesnt want to ruin you in the sense of his dirty talk and swearing.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ though occasionally he finds himself stuck looking after you, which is.... fun.... no i mean really its fun as fuck!!! Angel makes all sorts of jokes, offers you alcohol (you did almost take it if it werent for husk and practically everyone else to all collectively pry the bottle of vodka out of your hands)
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ angel dust also teaches you some very creative swear words! so now, whenever you feel like talking you run around screaming weird insults at people, Alastor has heard you shout "EAT ASS AND DIE HORSE FACE FUCK BITCH!!" a few times to random sinners
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ The... star, is actually proud of teaching you those words- hey if you wanna stay in hell you gotta act like it!
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ hides you away from Val- though somehow you still find out about him, and when you learnt how he treated your spider-friend.. uhm, the studio was in smithereens and val was close to death- now permanently loosing his right arm (just his right arm for now)
𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐊
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ to you, Husk is like the weird- drunk uncle who just got out of prison. Though, he's the cool drunk uncle.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk doesnt really speak to you, which is brilliant coz you dont really speak- so the two of you communicate through looks and gestures, leaving everyone in the hotel watching you two 'talk' very confused.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ never gives you alcohol, no matter how much you ask with 'cherries on top' and if he does catch you with any intoxicating drinks he snatches them off of you- scolds you a bit then drinks the beverage himself.... hypocrite
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Husk helps you avoid Alastor, he doesnt want to see you being under his clutches, you dont deserve that you're just a kid.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ He also teaches you how to do magic tricks just incase you ever want to become a magician... and sometimes he teaches you how to play card games- or how to gamble
𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ In all honestly, Vaggie is very much threatened by you- because like, do i even need to say it?? YOU'RE A SERAPHIM !!!!!
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Buttt as long as Charlie is okay with you and you don't pull any stunts to try and sabotage the team you're alright! Just dont try anything.... please
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ she accidently treats you like a soldier sometimes- a habit from her exorcist days, speaking of you could immediately tell she was one of those angels and while you did not like her at first you grew to like her- viewing her as a second older sister
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ you and Vaggie sometimes sit and remember old times in heaven- and you'd ask about the exterminations, though quickly stopped after noting her discomfort.
⿻ㅤㅤᱺ Vaggies also likes to try and swap weapons with you- to see if she and you can handle other weapons (unsurprisingly you both adapt quite quickly)
#જ⁀➴﹒⁾⁾ 𝑶𝑹𝑪𝑯𝑰𝑫 / 𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 𝑾𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑺 ✫#requested#x reader#requested x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#angel reader#child reader#fluff#sort of yandere?#possibly ooc#ooc#x you#x y/n#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar#charlie morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel nifty#nifty#nifty x reader#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel husk
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Old Man
Part 2 Part 3
You keep teasing Alastor due to his age, he is about to show you how his age just makes him more experienced.
TW: Swearing, drinking, vomit, blackouts, suggestive themes, old-fashioned chivalry, drunk kissing
No smut, but is very suggestive at the end.
You slam the door to the hotel angrily behind you, causing the door to shutter in a way that would have worried you about breaking it if you had it in you to give a fuck.
"Fucking prick...who the hell does he think he is?!", you mutter under your breath
You run your hand through your chestnut hair. Your demon form was that of a fallow deer, your hair turned a reddish brown color with ears to match on your head. You had little white spots adorning your cheeks, shoulders, and back. The last of your demonic changes would be your luscious deer tail- the same color as your hair with the spots peppered over it- so full that you needed to get all your clothes altered for it.
You make your way over to the bar- where you a hoping the man who instigated your wrath sits- stomping your feed unnecessarily hard on the wood flooring. Just as you were hoping for, the man you most wanted to pick-a-bone with sat in his usual spot.
"Angel!"
"Toots? Back from y'er date already huh?"
"You are sooooo not allowed to set me up on anymore dates! That guy was an absolute menace!", you slump into the seat next to his with an exaggerated sigh. Husk promptly placed your favorite drink in front of you. You smiled and lifted your glass to him in thanks.
"Jeez, 'm sorry toots. I gotta ask- what'd Mikey do that pissed ya off so bad?"
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying not to picture your atrocious dinner date. "He ordered my dinner for me.", you spat as if it was the most egregious wrong ever done to you.
Angel and Husk stared at you with unreadable expressions, glancing at each other before quickly diverting their eyes back to you.
Maniacal laughter suddenly rang out from the other side of the bar- Alastor. You had not even noticed him when you first came in- if he had been there at all. You had a decent relationship with The Radio Demon, you mostly interacted at dinner but had the occasional chat in the library. He seemed to get along better with you than he did most of the other residents-save for Nifty and Charlie- you assumed that was due to being a deer like he was. Herd mentality and all you supposed. Now though, his laughter was grating on your already taut nerves. "Something funny you coot?" Angel's and Husk's eyes widened at your jab- no one had the balls to insult Alastor right to his face like that.
"Yes, very much so Darling. Did it ever cross your mind that perhaps he was just being polite? Ordering a ladies meal used to be the chivalrous thing to do.", he smiled wider at you as you narrowed your eyes at him.
"OK boomer, was it also 'chivalrous'(you used air quotes with your finger) to order her a salad instead of the wings and fries she wanted? The next man who has the audacity to order my food for me will become my meal instead!" You huffed and downed the rest of your drink, glaring over at your fellow deer.
He chuckled smoothly but relented his argument "No, I suppose you are right- that was not the proper way to go about it." You gave him a cocky smile before he continued "However, I must say that you...younger generation of ladies... give up so quickly. Running at the very first small inconvenience." He folded his hands and rested his chin on them, eyeing you mischievously.
"Well, SOOOORRRYY for having standards. Us younger generation ladies are not impressed by minimal effort and do not abide by the misogynist tendencies you old geezers put out", you laced your voice with as much venom as you could. "Mikey can take his Terry Crews in White Chicks vibes and fuck right off!"
Alastor eyed you thoughtfully,"Would you care to join me for a night out on the town my dear? Perhaps having a bit of fun will lighten your mood."
Now it was your turn to laugh,"Sorry gramps, but I fail to see how chaperoning you for your daily nightcap will lift my spirits."
"Hmmm, I suppose I will just need to show you how The Lost Generation cuts loose. Get dressed in something you can move in Darling." He was challenging you, you could see it in that smug grin on his face. Who were you to not indulge the old man?
"Give me 15 minutes.", you smirked at him and raced upstairs to your room. You have been saving a lacy, black party dress for a special occasion, now seemed like the perfect time to break it out of your closet. You would pair it with a pair of blood red pumps for a pop of color, wearing lipstick of the same shade to bring it all together.
You swagger down the stairs to meet up with Alastor at the front door. His smile widens ever so slightly as his eyes apprise you. "You look lovely Sha.", he says sweetly as he takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles tenderly. "Shall we?" He tucks your arm through his and guides you out the door.
You walk in silence for a time, Alastor humming softly to himself. You finally speak up "So, what old saloon are you taking me to?", you smile coyly up at him hoping to ruffle his feathers a bit.
"We are headed to my favorite jazz club Little Fawn", he snickers at your scowl. You hated when he called you that, it was because of your spots. But you were just a different breed of dear- you weren't a fawn! The nickname made you feel like a child. You spent the rest of the walk in silence again- Alastor resumed his humming while you pouted.
The outside of the club was inconspicuous, an old building made of brick and wood with no windows. Just a large, metal door at the center. Upon your arrival a small eyelet slid over to inspect you two, The eyes on the other side widened upon seeing Alastor and hastily opened the door. Once inside, you walked down a short hallway and through another metal door.
The inside of the club was a vast contrast to what the outside was like. It was lively, bodies dancing every which direction and a live band played passionately on stage on the far side. The room was decorated in vibrant reds and golds. A long, wooden bar sat to your left. You could smell the tang of bourbon and puffs of smoke, getting a hint of sweat from all the bodies swinging around on the dance floor.
"Shall I order you a drink? Or would you prefer to do that yourself? I wouldn't want to insult you.", Alastor chortled as he walked you over to the bar. You rolled your eyes at him "What are you drinking?" He raised a brow at you. "I am drinking rye whiskey. I am not sure if that will be to your tastes Fawn."
"Hey, I'm sure I can handle anything you dish out Flapdoodle. I bet I can go drink for drink with you even.", you challenged. Maybe you could wipe that ever-present smirk off his smug face if you could get the old man to pass out. You could handle a couple of whiskey drinks.
Alastor hummed as he regarded you, "Very well, if you insist!", he turned to the bartender "Double rye on the rocks please!" You blanched, double? You were not expecting to be drinking doubles, but if Alastor could handle them then you had a good chance right? You took a sip of your drink, it tasted of spice and dark chocolate and had a pleasant burn on its way down your throat. You were sure if you sipped it you would be fine.
However, Alastor had other plans as he swallowed the entire contents of his drink in one go. Your mouth fell open in shock as you stared at him. Fuck, this isn't going the way you planned. Timidly, you brought your own drink to your lips and swallowed the rest of it, shuddering at the burn. Alastor watched you all the while, and promptly ordered two more drinks. This drink was sipped, but was still drank much faster than you planned.
After a while you started to feel the effects of the alcohol, your body relaxing. You started to sway to the music, a soft smile gracing your lips. "Would you do me the honor of joining me on the dance floor my dear?", Alastor asked as he took your hand, leading you out to the middle of the dancing crowd.
He placed your left hand on his shoulder, keeping your other hand held in his. His free hand held you closely by the waist and he began to swing you around to the beat. You stumbled along, if he weren't holding you so securely you would have ended up on the floor and the alcohol was not doing you any favors. "Oh dear, you a very bad at this!", he teased you. You glared back up at him "Well maybe if you would slow down instead of throwing me around like a lunatic I would be better!", you snapped. He chuckled, but slowed down enough that you could keep up and learn the dance. But once you seemed to get your bearings he sped up again.
This continued all night- the song would change and he would slow down so you could learn the new dance but speed up once you got it. All the while, the only thing you had to drink was whiskey. It did not take long for you to be truly drunk, your vision starting to spin and your movements becoming clumsy. Your legs were killing you, you had definitely worn the wrong shoes for this activity.
"Please excuse me for a second.", you smiled up at Alastor and walked off the dance floor. You exited out a back door you saw people use to take smoke breaks to get some fresh air. You leaned back against the wall, closing your eyes to help concentrate on breathing evenly. You heard the door open beside you but chose to ignore it until you felt a hand on your cheek. You opened your eyes to see Alastor standing over you, his eyes carefully scanning your face. "You truly are as beautiful as a magnolia in May.", he stated before slowly lowering his face to yours.
You gasped into the kiss, losing all train of thought. Weren't you supposed to be rivals? The new vs. the old? In this moment, you no longer cared. He continued holding your face as you grabbed the lapels of his jacket as the kiss continued, it was making you dizzy.
Oh no, you are not just dizzy from the kiss- the alcohol is making it worse. Your stomach started to twist uncomfortably and you had to roughly push Alastor away from you before you turned to the wall and puked your guts up all over yourself. When you were done you stumbled back, vision quickly fading. The last thing you remember before succumbing to complete darkness is a pair of strong arms catching you and the warmth of a chest cradling you.
You reached consciousness slowly, your senses coming to you one-by-one. Unfortunately, the first thing you registered was extreme thirst followed quickly by a pounding headache. You let out a loud groan, turning over in your bed "Fuck" you grumbled out.
A soft chuckle followed by an all-too-chipper "Good morning!" caught your attention. You glared at Alastor over in a chair before mumbling "I am not in the mood for your bullshit this morning.", burying your face in the pillow.
It took you an embarrassing few seconds to register that he was actually in the room with you and was not just a figment of your imagination sent to torture you. You shot up in the bed, making your head spin again. "What are you doing in my...", you trailed off as you took in your surroundings. You were not in your room. The bed you were in was large, with maroon-colored silk sheets. The room had crimson-colored walls with a grand fireplace, in front of which Alastor sat reading the paper. Behind him, the room gave way to a magnificent forest and swamp that made your breath hitch. You were obviously in Alastor's room.
"Al...what am I doing in your room?", you asked as you slowly looked back over at him, heart ready to beat out of your chest in fear of his answer.
"I did not feel comfortable leaving you alone in your room. You were incredibly drunk, I did not want you to asphyxiate if you were to become ill again. So I brought you here where I could keep an eye on you.", he explained calmly, watching your reaction. Your face burned with shame. You had set out to get The Radio Demon to make a fool of himself, but you had become the fool yourself. You turned away, not wanting to see the amusement that surely danced plainly on his face. When you glanced down you frowned.
"How am I wearing my pajamas?", you asked- the accusation plain to hear in your voice. When you glanced back up, Alastor had walked over to stand at the foot of the bed. "Well, I was not about to let your spew into my bed. So I sent my shadows to your room to retrieve your sleepwear.", he explained matter-of-factly.
"Did they change me too or...?"
"No, I did that.", before you could get upset at that revelation he snapped his fingers and you were suddenly wearing socks. You breathed a sigh of relief, you did not think Alastor would violate your privacy like that but it was nice to have the verification. As you sat there thinking, memories of the night before slowly trickled back into your mind. Alastor had kissed you! But why?
Before you could ask any of the million questions running through your mind he sat at the end of the bed. "Sha, I would like to have a rather important discussion with you if you feel up to it." You nodded and waited for him to continue. "Would you be open to me courting you?"
You stared at him dumbstruck "Huh?" was all you could muster out. Was this really happening? Did Alastor just ask to date you?
"I have been admiring you from afar for some time now. I must admit I am rather taken by you. I enjoy our back-and-forth banter and admire your wit. You are such a strong-minded woman, and are not afraid to speak exactly what you are thinking. I would like the opportunity to explore our relationship a bit further if you assent."
Your jaw hit the floor, you had no idea how to respond. Alastor admired you? He wanted to have a more formal relationship? None of this was making sense to you at the moment but your heart was soaring. You had been hiding your attraction to the demon behind your crude jokes about his age. You'd be lying if you said you would not want to get to know him better as well.
"It is rude to stare Dear.", Alastor grinned at you. You had not stopped gaping at him while you processed your thoughts. "Y-Yes, I would be open to that." You shyly smiled back at him.
"One more thing, how much about your biology do you know?", he asked as he shifted closer to you, closing the distance between you two. "What do you mean?"
"Well, in just a few months the cervid mating season will be upon us.", he explained slowly. You crinkled your brows in confusion. "You arrived in hell very shortly after the last mating season. I was not sure how much about your deer form you had learned. If you find our courting satisfactory...I would very much like to claim you this season." He stared at you intently, searching your eyes for your reaction. He was leaning so far into your space that only a few inches separated you. His want was practically palpable.
Your mind went blank again, at a complete loss for words for the moment. This man was just full of surprises. You felt a myriad of emotions- excitement, fear, anticipation, nervousness. But you wanted it, so badly that it shocked you. But, you did not want him to get any more satisfaction at your expense today. So you smirked, "Only if you can keep up you old geezer."
With that you went to get up and dramatically walk out of the room to leave him with his thoughts. But instead you felt your calf muscles strain and knees buckle underneath you. Your legs were so cramped up, damn shoes! Alastor laughed heartily at you as you flushed tomato red. "You are not quite as limber as you ought to be for your age My Doe. Your endurance could use a bit of work.", he tutted at you helping you to your feet. You stretched your sore legs out a bit until you could at least shuffle around.
Before you could turn away Alastor grabbed your wrist and pulled you into him. "A final tidbit of information- did you know that deer can mate consecutively for 72 hours?", he watched as your eyes widened to saucers, leaning in until his lips just barely caressed the fluff of your ears. "If I were you Ma Petite Biche (My Little Doe), I'd begin stretching."
#hazbin alastor#alastor x you#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#suggestive#alastor the radio demon#drunk caretaking#rivals to lovers
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Ok I know you probably already figured out alastor's role in your soul eater hazbin hotel au, but im just picturing him as like the Excalibur of the au.
This ask is so fucking funny, I laughed for like half a minute over the mental image and had to draw it. I actually already had him planned to be like the Masamune(Tsubaki's brother) of this AU, but sure why not!
So if you're not familiar with Soul Eater, in this AU Alastor is a cursed blade that's kinda like a parasite to his meisters. He feeds on the soul of the people who use him and takes control of them. He has stitches on his clothes and mouth as a reference to the fact that he puppeteers his meisters, wrapping his strings around them, similar to how you need to have the chains of his blade wrap around you to use it.
He's generally against the academy cuz, duh, he's got a rotten soul, but he also has a personal vendetta against Lucifer and his students because his mother was a witch and it was one of the Death Scythes who ate her soul. He regularly eats witch(and human) souls to get stronger though.
Husk and Nifty are the Free and Elka counterparts, a werewolf werecat-witch duo who are under a big bad's command. (They're a cat n mouse? Get it? Alright...) Alastor is perfectly capable of fighting by himself, but he finds a certain kind of satisfaction in having a meister under his control. A human is certain to die under prolonged partnership with him, so he has non-humans like Husk and Nifty use him when he's not in need of a snack.
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Drop dead gorgeous
(I deeply apologize if you're reading this in the middle of the night and your eyes burn due to the bright image)
Hazbin Hotel x doe reader / Alastor x doe reader
Warnings: cursing, sexual themes (duh) / A comedic story about Hazbin Hotel staff reacting to your tail dropping off seemingly out of nowhere. You and Alastor are mates.
It was a Saturday night at the hotel and the staff was spending some quality time at the Bar. Alastor was also there, standing on the side while examining everyone's movements, a soft smile playing on his lips. His gorgeous ruby eyes lighting up as he saw his oh so adorable mate running down the stairs. His smile widened as he saw you running towards him.
You were wearing one of those dresses he had bought you, a rich crimson red dress that even had a hole in the back for your lovely doe tail. His eyes lingered on the soft tail, before making their way up at your cute pointy ears and finally settling on your face.
"My my, you look absolutely stunning my dear! That dress really suits you", he said, his voice full of admiration.
"You're flattering me, darling", you chuckle, taking his hand and leading him to the bar. He helped you on a high bar stool. You sat there happily, the plush tail wagging as you engaged in a conversation with the others.
Alastor wasn't exactly the biggest fan of public display of affection. Regardless of that, he wanted everyone to know who you belong to. So, he would sometimes hold you close, place his large hand possessively on your back, or perhaps pet your tail.
Tonight, he chose the latter, gently stroking your tail as you were having a conversation about different alcohol drinks with Husk.
"Chardonnay always makes me feel like a 40-year-old suburban mom", you giggle. "No offense, of course! Moms are the best, but not the abusive ones!"
Alastor smiled at your quirkiness.
"Well, beer makes me feel like an average Joe who works in construction", Angel joked back, playing with the stereotypes. "Cider on the other hand makes me feel like a teenage girl who just discovered tampons-"
Angel stared at the floor under your bar stool, his eyes wide with horror. You suddenly felt odd, as if something was missing. You looked around, noticing that Alastor had an absolutely horrified look on his face as he stared at the same spot with Angel. Soon, the others stopped talking as well.
"A-Alastor, what's going on?" you asked, confused, looking up at your mate. You quietly followed his gaze only for it to land on a furry piece on the floor.
At that same exact moment, Lucifer marched in the area, eager to meet up with his daughter. "My daughter, I am here!" Lucifer sang. "Oh my! What the unholy Hell is that?" He pointed at the furry piece on the floor, using his apple wand.
"Oh, that will be perfect for my collection!" Nifty poked at the furry mess.
"Do not pick that up", Alastor said sternly, stopping Nifty from further touching the tail.
"That's.. That's my tail", you whisper. "My tail... It fell off..."
Alastor stood there, feeling guilty. Had he stroked your tail too harshly? Was this all his fault?
You picked up the tail, holding it on your palms, hot salty tears forming in your precious doe eyes. Alastor felt horrible, absolutely heartbroken for your lovely tail. He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"How could this happen to me?" you sobbed. (I've made my mistakes)
Chaos unwrapped in the room as everyone realized the true nature of the situation.
Angel: What the fuck? THIS DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!
Charlie: Vaggie! CALL THE AMBULANCE!
Vaggie: On it... Shit! Where's the phone? Dammit!
Husk passed out on the bar table with a loud thump.
Vaggie: WHERE IS THE PHONE?
Lucifer: Charlie, I should tell you, I have hemorrhoids!
Charlie: Dad- what? Why are you telling me that-
Lucifer: My ass might just fall off like that tail! The surgeon said they might have to operate on it-
You: My tail is gone and so is my will to live-
Lucifer: Imagine it Charlie, an operation, on my ass!
Alastor: No, don't say that dear-
Charlie: Dad, I'd rather not-
Nifty was running around in panic, accidentally bumping into you and making you lose your balance. Due to that, your fallen tail flew in a beautiful arch, soaring through the air and eventually landing on Angel's hair. Angel stood there for a moment in shock, before he yelled in disgust.
Angel: AAARRGHH SON OF A BITCH!
Angel used his long arms to grab the fallen tail and threw it away. The tail soared through the air once again, this time landing inside Lucifer's open mouth.
Alastor: How dare you treat my mate's tail like that-
Angel: Ugh! It was still warm!
Lucifer's eyes widened as the tail landed in his mouth and throat. He started choking on the soft fur.
Charlie quickly started beating the hell out of Lucifer, slamming her open palm on his back.
Vaggie on the phone: Yes we have a male choking on a fallen doe tail. Yes we need professional help!
You: Charlie, do the maneuver!
Charlie, in panic: WHAT FUCKING MANEUVER?
You: The Hamburger, no... The Heimlich maneuver!
Charlie: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
You: MOVE!
You started desperately performing the maneuver. Lucifer was gagging like a fish on dry land. Angel started filming the scene.
Vaggie on the phone: YES HE IS TURNING BLUE! Yes we are trying to help!
Thanks to your capable hands, Lucifer managed to cough the tail out. But this time the tail flew in your mouth. You felt the wet, soft fur. You felt like yelling, that's how disgusting this whole thing was.
Angel: Oh hell nah! That is... Ew. It's like, Lucifer's spit is inside you-
Alastor: Shut up Angel!
Now it was Alastor's turn to perform emergency care. He slapped the dear life out of you, his large palm hitting your upper back. But it didn't work, so he started performing the Heimlich maneuver. Since Alastor was so much bigger than you, it looked like he was humping a teddy bear.
Angel: Kinky!
Vaggie on the phone: Now we've got a female chocking on the tail!
Angel: Haha, is that how they look like when they are fucking?
Charlie: Come on, Angel...
Nifty, smirking: Alastor's a big boy!
Alastor, losing his control: SHUT UP! SHUP UP ALL OF YOU!
Alastor kept performing the maneuver while you desperately gagged, finally spitting the tail out. The slimy tail landed on Lucifer's hat, making him let out a ridiculously high pitched scream.
Alastor held you close, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear. "It's okay darling, you're fine, I'm here..."
"My tail... It's gone..." you cried softly against his chest.
Husk finally sobered up, seeing the scene in front of him. "What the hell did I miss?"
Angel quickly let Husk know what had happened.
Husk: Well, that's sucks. That sucks a lot-
Angel: Like your dad at the gay sex club-
Nifty: Nice one, Angie-
Husk: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY-
Charlie: OMG! Look!
Vaggie: Your tail is growing back!
Never in your life had you ever witnessed this. First, your tail dropped, and now you were pushing out a new one. Alastor looked at the newly emerged tail that was even softer than the last one. He chuckled, reaching the tail to pet the silky fur.
"My my, looks like things worked out after all", Alastor chuckled. "First you dropped your old tail and now you grew out a new, drop dead gorgeous tail."
"Pun intended, huh?" Angel cackled.
You felt your new softer tail, still slightly confused by the most recent events. "I really have a tail after all..."
"Yes dear", Alastor nodded, ignoring Angel's comment. He grinned with a wicked glint in his eyes as he stole glances at the new tail. "Lovely."
Alastor's face when your tail fell off:
#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x doe reader#alastor x reader fanfiction
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Rewatching the Hazbin pilot again, and ya’ll remember how Angel Dust was actually a dick on purpose? He didn’t care about the hotel, he was a selfish candidate who was just in it for the rent, he talked shit about Charlie and Vaggie behind their backs, he was a reckless jackass who didn’t know when to read the room and that was the point. He wasn’t a good person and he especially didn’t like or trust Charlie and Vaggie, so seeing his arc of gaining friends and being compassionate towards the people he didn’t appreciate at first in episode fucking 4/6 of the first season is so wild to me.
It’s so rushed and forced, especially for a character like Angel. It was clear from the pilot that while he had some redeeming qualities, getting along with others would take time. In the show however they manage to woobify him even more than he already was. He’s just so damn sensitive, there’s a big difference between him and pilot Angel. Pilot Angel didn’t give a shit about what other people thought of him, and he owned it. Show Angel is incredibly sensitive and pissed off at every little thing, he’s so whiny and desperate for some kind of approval, which on its own isn’t bad, it’s just too fast, not just that but it’s sudden with no buildup. In episode 2 of the show, he gets sad for some reason when Charlie is complimenting Sir Pen. Then in episode 4, he suddenly cares about her and there’s no explanation to why, same goes for Nifty in episode 6. Like yeah it’s nice to see him care about others but you forget to show us WHY he cares. Viv has gone on to say before that his character involves him putting walls up and blocking people out in fear of him getting hurt, so like….what happened to that lol, cause that isn’t showcased in the show.
Husk has the same issue. This guy is supposed to be a grumpy drunk, in the pilot we know he only took the bartending job for the booze. He’s a messy guy who doesn’t like anyone, and it should have been awhile till he actually started to care about people. Instead he’s like..almost instantly friendly after episode 4. This is the same writing issues Helluva Boss had btw. Viv is so incredibly desperate for you to like her flawed/bad characters that rather than taking the time to actually show them slowly improving, she instantly paints them out to be sweet and expects you to go along with it.
#vivziepop critical#spindlehorse critical#anti vivziepop#Hazbin hotel#Hazbin critical#Hazbin hotel criticism#Angel dust#hazbin hotel critical
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