#you are doing great work here and i appreciate it so much

[crystallinestars]

Domestic Headcanons

Alternative title: Acting like a married couple. These were supposed to be sleeping and waking HCs but I went overboard so these turned out as more general domestic HCs.

Contains: fluff, domesticity, acting like a married couple while not being married, more fluff, and a giant wall of text (this is 14 pages on Word).

Jing Yuan's part was partially inspired by this video where we can see his morning routine.

Characters: Jiaoqiu, Aventurine, Jing Yuan, Argenti, and Dan Heng.

Jiaoqiu

🌶️ As a doctor, Jiaoqiu can’t help but fuss over your health. If you have a habit of staying up late at night, he will reprimand you for depriving your body of necessary sleep, especially if you have to wake up early the following day. He nags at you to set aside your phone or work and go to sleep, tail swaying side-to-side in annoyance if you don’t comply quickly enough for his liking.

🌶️ If you remain stubborn in your habits, Jiaoqiu will find a way to coax you to bed. As a healer specializing in food medicine, he knows the effects of a vast variety of herbs and spices and concocts a special blend of tea for you to drink around bedtime. It’s sweet aroma and soothing flavour help you relax enough for your exhaustion to take effect and urge you to go to bed. If you’re not a fan of tea, Jiaoqiu could whip up a cup of steamed puffergoat milk with honey to induce a similar effect or come up with another unique drink to suit your preferences.

🌶️ Aside from baiting you with consumables, Jiaoqiu also has another ace up his sleeve to get you to sleep at a decent time. You like massages, right? How about he gives you a back rub before bed? Jiaoqiu knows all the most common spots on the neck and back that tend to suffer from tension, and his skilled hands do wonders to relieve any muscle knots or discomfort that you may have in those areas. He may even give you a leg massage and a foot rub if you ask, or even a full body massage if he feels like you deserve one. Jiaoqiu enjoys watching you melt and grow drowsy from the kneading of his hands, and feels accomplished if you do end up falling asleep because of his massage.

🌶️ As fussy as Jiaoqiu could be about your bedtime, he’s much more lax with his own. Sometimes his duties to General Feixiao force him to work overtime, much to his dismay. He’d love nothing more than to spend this time cuddling with you in bed, but here he is, poring over a stack of urgent documents. He usually sends you text messages telling you he will come home late and to not wait for him but will be pleasantly surprised if you stay up late to welcome him home. He lightly chastises you for not going to bed without him but will feel touched if you say you couldn’t sleep well without him by your side. You’ll get brownie points if you cooked him dinner. It may not be on par with his own cooking, but he does appreciate you looking out for him. Besides, coming home to a warm meal after an exhausting day can do wonders for one’s mood. Jiaoqiu rewards you with a kiss and a compliment on your cooking, which is high praise coming from him.

🌶️ When it comes to sleeping, Jiaoqiu generally likes to do so while holding you close. His most preferred position is to spoon you from behind but he’s also happy to let you spoon him instead. When he holds you, he likes tucking your head under his chin and draping his fluffy tail over you, ensuring you are completely wrapped up in his arms. It’s a great position during colder temperatures, but he’ll reluctantly let you go if you get too hot.

🌶️ If you’re the one spooning him, just know that Jiaoqiu knows whenever you stroke his tail. He sometimes pretends to be asleep during your “secret” petting sessions, letting you run your hands along the soft fur before suddenly tickling your face with the tip of his tail. His stifled laughter gives away that he’s not sleeping, but he can never contain himself when he hears you squeak and sputter in surprise at getting a face-full of fur. Pranking aside, Jiaoqiu does enjoy the feeling of you lightly combing your fingers through his tail. If you do it gently enough, it can lull him into a relaxed state and even make him drowsy. You can get a similar reaction out of him by rubbing the base of his ears where the fluffy part meets his head. Rub gentle circles against the fur with your thumbs, and Jiaoqiu will turn to putty in your hands, leaning his head into your touch.

🌶️ Jiaoqiu is used to waking up early. When he was younger, he would wake up early to gather herbs to use in his cooking. Though that habit was disrupted during his time on the battlefield, he picked it back up when he ran a restaurant. Once he became Feixiao’s retainer, Jiaoqiu woke up early to cook her breakfasts since Feixiao also had a habit of getting up early to train, or to take care of some important duties. As a result, Jiaoqiu tends to wake up earlier than you. He spends a few minutes just basking in the warmth of your body, admiring how peaceful you look while asleep before slowly getting up. He’s good at being quiet so he usually slips away from you unnoticed.

🌶️ If you have to wake up for an occasion like work or a meeting, Jiaoqiu will make sure you get up on time. If you’re the type to laze around in bed for a while or hit snooze repeatedly, Jiaoqiu will be there to serve as another alarm clock and nag at you to get up. He’ll start off by gently coaxing you to wake up, trying to bribe you with comments about having made your favourite meal for breakfast. If you continue to be lazy, he’ll put on more pressure, like tugging the blankets off of you and opening the curtains to let sunlight in, chiding you about being late if you don’t get moving. Jiaoqiu’s nagging can be annoying, but he’s only doing it to look out for you. He doesn’t want you to stress about being late.

🌶️ If you have time to sleep in, by the time you wake up, you’ll be greeted to a delicious aroma of sizzling food. Jiaoqiu makes the two of you a balanced and hearty breakfast. He often goes on about the importance of a balanced diet and eating three meals a day, and will be aghast if he finds out you have a habit of skipping meals or eating poorly. He will personally make it his mission to make sure you eat three meals a day (no skipping breakfast on his watch) and that your meals are more balanced (eat your veggies!). He just worries about you, both as a doctor and your boyfriend. On the plus side, all your meals are guaranteed to be delicious.

🌶️ While Jiaoqiu waits for you to wake up, he also makes you a lunch to bring with you to work. It gives him something to do and also serves as a peace of mind knowing you’ll at least have a healthy lunch, or so he says when you ask him why he goes through so much trouble for your sake. Truth is, he just wants to do something nice for you because he loves you. Cooking for you is one of the ways he shows he cares, plus it boosts his ego to hear you compliment his cooking. If he’s in a good mood, Jiaoqiu will make cute little faces on the sausages or egg rolls, or write a message on the rice with sauce or seaweed such as “You’re doing good” or a cheesy “I love you” to brighten up your day. He’s true husband material.

🌶️ On the rare days you wake up before him, Jiaoqiu likes coming into the kitchen to find you busy cooking breakfast. As mentioned before, he appreciates you going out of your way to take care of him. He’s so used to taking care of others that he can sometimes neglect himself, so having you there to do that for him makes him fall in love with you all over again. While you’re busy at the stove, he quietly sneaks up behind you, only revealing his presence with a teasing remark about your poor cutting technique. The way you huff at him for nitpicking at your cooking skills just makes you all the more endearing to him, and Jiaoqiu hugs you from behind and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, tail swishing in joy. He may not say out loud how touched he is by your care, but he lets you know through his actions.

🌶️ Depending on your cooking skill, Jiaoqiu will either sit back and idly watch you cook with a happy grin on his face or offer to assist you. If you’re proficient in the kitchen, he will be content to watch you work and quietly anticipate the moment he gets to try your cooking since it’s not something he gets to eat often. While sampling your dish, he’ll compliment you on the things you cooked well and give feedback on what you could do to improve your method if something isn’t quite right.

🌶️ If cooking isn’t your strong suit, Jiaoqiu offers to help. Though he prefers to work alone in the kitchen, he can make an exception for you. Besides, he can use this as the perfect opportunity to teach you some cooking skills and bond with you over a shared activity. Jiaoqiu loves cooking and also loves you, so as far as he’s concerned, he’s getting a two-for-one deal. He also finds it cute the way you pay such careful attention to his instructions and try your best to carry them out, even if you still lack the skills to do it perfectly.

🌶️ Regardless of whether it’s you or him making breakfast, Jiaoqiu will be happy just to start his morning off by sharing a meal with you. There’s something domestic about cooking for each other, eating around the same table while still dressed in pajamas, and kissing each other goodbye when you both leave for work. He could get used to this, Jiaoqiu notes with a smile. Though you jokingly call him your husband now, he’d like it if that title became a reality one day.

Aventurine

🦚 Due to Aventurine’s busy schedule, it’s difficult to have a set bedtime routine. He does try to get off work on time to have a few extra hours to spend with you, but sometimes meetings run late, or he gets saddled with missions that force him apart from you, so he has no choice but to message you to let you know he’ll be coming home late. His texts are light-hearted and teasing to try and soften the news for you, but he feels guilty for being unable to spend time with you even if it’s not his fault. Aventurine only hopes you don’t hate him for being too busy to see you. He may not say it out loud, but one of his fears is you leaving him because he doesn’t make you feel loved enough. He does love you, very much so, which is why he spoils you with expensive gifts and excursions to all kinds of luxurious or VIP places, but he knows money doesn’t make up for neglected emotions.

🦚 On the nights he makes it home on time, Aventurine likes to spend his free time with you. You guys can do anything, he doesn’t have a strong preference as long as he gets to be with you. If you like, he can take you out on a date. He’s wealthy enough to land a spot at a fancy restaurant. You could dress up and let him wine and dine you, and then maybe go on a walk along one of the more scenic places belonging to the IPC.

🦚 If you’re not in the mood for something fancy, Aventurine could take you to your favorite café, the movies, or even the arcade. He certainly wouldn’t mind an opportunity to show off his luck and win you as many plushies and prizes as your heart desires. You can also test your luck against his over card or dice games at home. He’ll set some stakes to make it more fun, such as the loser having to grant the winner’s wish or pay for the next meal. If you’re in the mood for something spicy, you guys can play a few games of strip poker. He wouldn’t mind, but don’t expect him to go easy on you.

🦚 Alternatively, Aventurine is content to stay home and relax with a movie. He lets you pick what to watch since he’s not as interested in the movie as he is in you, but he delights in seeing the excited shine in your eye when you choose something you’ve been looking forward to watching. Aventurine likes it even more when you cuddle with him on the couch while watching said movie. Feeling your arms around him, your hands absentmindedly combing through his hair, and the rise and fall of your chest under his head soothes him. After a gruelling day of sifting through reports, putting on fake smiles, and making dangerous gambles to outwit his opponents, your gentle touch works wonders to help Aventurine relax. It’s not often that he feels safe and comfortable enough to let his walls come down but being enveloped by your warm and tender caresses makes him want to give in and let go for a bit. As soon as he does, his exhaustion washes over him, and Aventurine could easily fall asleep if he’s not careful. Do forgive him if he falls asleep on you during the movie session, but your presence is simply too calming for him to resist.

🦚 When it comes to sleeping in bed, things can get a bit cramped. Due to having slept in a big bed by himself for a while, Aventurine tends to sprawl his limbs out. He can unintentionally hit you with an arm or trap you in an embrace in his sleep if you’re within reach. His cat cakes also join you in bed. A couple will settle at your feet while another will sleep beside your heads. Some shameless ones will even lay on top of you as if you were their pillow. It’s not rare for you to wake up in a tangle of sheets and limbs, your attempts to break free accompanied by annoyed meows.

🦚 Despite his cocky and suave attitude, Aventurine doesn’t come onto you unless he knows you want him to, even in bed. He remains respectful of your personal space, at most allowing himself to hold your hand while you chat about your day or drape an arm around you. His heart skips a beat when you press yourself closer to him and rest your head on his chest or pull him down to lay on yours. It makes him feel a complicated type of way to be this intimate with another person, to know you want to be that close to him, and to feel so cherished by you. He’s gotten more used to receiving your affection compared to before, but it can still overwhelm him sometimes. If you pet his hair, stroke along his back, or give him kisses, it helps him relax and accept your touch. Aventurine hasn’t felt this kind of affection in a very long time, which is why he needs some time to get used to it, but he does enjoy it. He likes being pampered and held by you.

🦚 Aventurine finds that he sleeps better with you by his side. He sometimes has nightmares about his past and wakes up in a cold sweat. He doesn’t like disturbing you, but he feels relieved whenever you wake up alongside him. Just hearing your voice and feeling your touch helps ground him. Aventurine doesn’t like showing his vulnerabilities so easily, so he tends to brush off your concern and tell you to not worry. He just had a bad dream, it’s nothing for you to concern yourself with. He’s unlikely to share any details about his nightmares with you until he feels 100% comfortable with opening up and being vulnerable, but he appreciates your attempts to comfort him, nonetheless. Just feeling your warm embrace and hearing you say things are okay and that what he saw was just a dream helps him calm down and drift off back to sleep easier than when he had to deal with these feelings alone. Aventurine notes that in general, he’s been having less nightmares ever since he started sharing a bed with you. Perhaps feeling the warmth of another person by his side eases his mind on some subconscious level, or whatever other scientific explanation the Intelligentsia Guild offers on the matter. All Aventurine knows is that you bring a soothing presence into his life.

🦚 Unfortunately, Aventurine can’t spend every night wrapped up in your arms, much to his disappointment. His work requires him to travel a lot, often to carry out dangerous missions that could end with him losing his life if something went wrong. Some people would be envious of the luxurious hotels he gets to stay in for the duration of the missions, but the lavish décor and extravagant furnishing do little to fill the void in Aventurine’s heart. Despite the softness of the mattress, he tosses and turns, finding it difficult to fall asleep in the unfamiliar room and just lays awake, thinking about how he would be much happier sleeping on the floor as long as he got to hold you in his arms.

🦚 During his business trips, Aventurine likes to call you while getting ready for bed. It's an opportunity for you to catch up and find out how the other is doing. Even if all you have to share are mundane things, he wants to hear them. Just hearing you talk about your day gives him a sense of normalcy and peace, taking his mind off the demanding tasks that await him the next day. Even if you’re not much of a talker, Aventurine will find topics of interest that he knows will get you to talk just so he could hear your voice. It’s not rare for you to talk at length about something only to realize that Aventurine fell asleep on the other line because your voice lulled him to sleep. He teases you all the time about missing him, but the truth that he doesn’t want to admit is that he misses you just as much, which is why he makes these frequent phone calls. Your voice provides him with a bit of comfort and reminds him to finish his mission as quickly as possible so he can see you again.

🦚 Aventurine tends to wake up on time most mornings when he has to go to work. Some days he wakes up earlier than you if he’s got an important meeting to attend, but usually he wakes around the same time as you do. He never gave much thought to the act of getting ready in the morning, but it’s become one of the highlights of his day ever since you started living with him. Something about the act of waking up in each other’s arms, laughing if one of you tripped over a cat cake while getting out of bed, and eating breakfast at the same table is comforting. Such moments make him think of home, back when his sister was still with him. Being with you is not the same, but the feeling of contentment and happiness he feels in sharing his living space with you are similar.

🦚 Aventurine is usually good at ensuring his appearance is impeccable, but even he has moments of letting a detail slip. The first time you pointed out that his tie was crooked, he reached to adjust it, but you beat him to it, retying his tie and carefully smoothing it down. The act surprised Aventurine but he found that he liked it when you fussed over him like that. From then on, he sometimes purposely tied his tie a little crookedly just so you would adjust it for him. While your eyes are directed at the tie, Aventurine’s are fixed directly on you, his gaze softening with a subtle smile. Just when he thought he couldn’t fall in love with you more, you prove him wrong by showing your undying loyalty and care for his wellbeing. Aventurine doesn’t feel deserving of it, but he does appreciate you more than he can say. Later that day, expect to receive a bouquet of your favourite flowers and a card with an invitation to a restaurant as a thank you for helping him with the tie.

Jing Yuan

🦁 Jing Yuan tries his best to come home at a decent time, but being the Luofu General sometimes means he has to stay behind to deal with important matters for the safety of Luofu’s citizens. Such is the burden he must bear as the one with great power. He won’t blame you for going to bed without him, but he’ll be saddened about not receiving a welcoming kiss from you. If he sees you already snoozing away cuddled under the sheets, he’ll join you after going through his bedtime routine, pulling you close to him and quietly apologizing for waking you in the process. After a long and tiring day, he just wants to hold you and breathe in the comforting scent of your hair while drifting off to sleep. He doesn’t ask for much, so please grant him this simple wish.

🦁 Whenever Jing Yuan gets to go home on time, his mood is usually lifted at the prospect of having finished all work for the day and having the chance to relax at home with you. He sometimes makes a little detour to buy you some snacks for tea, already picturing in his head the tranquil moment he’ll share with you while drinking tea and eating delicious pastries fresh from a bakery.

🦁 What he loves most about coming home is being welcomed back by you and his cat. Seeing the white feline running up to the door with you following in tow as soon as he walks in is the cutest sight. Jing Yuan also developed a routine of receiving a kiss whenever he comes home, and he’ll lean down with the expectation of getting one from you. Never mind that he hasn’t taken off his shoes or jacket yet, he won’t move until he gets his kiss.

🦁 Evenings with Jing Yuan are generally lazy. He eats dinner with you while discussing the day’s events, complaining to you about the amount of work piled up on him, reminiscing about past memories, or making plans for the future so he can book a day off in advance. After dinner, he’s content to spend time with you doing nothing. His favourite is resting his head on your lap and feeling you comb your fingers through his messy hair. He finds your touch comforting and loving, just the thing he needs after a hard day. Of course, he wouldn’t be the Dozing General if he didn’t fall asleep on your lap, but he can’t help himself. The tranquillity of the moment makes him sleepy, plus your thighs make a good pillow to take a nap on.

🦁 Sometimes Jing Yuan invites Yanqing over to spar or play a game of star chess. He likes watching you get along with his apprentice, especially when you both team up against Jing Yuan during board games after he sneakily steals a piece from the board. Your outraged reactions are too amusing, so the Luofu General can’t resist from purposely getting a reaction out of you and his apprentice.

🦁 It sometimes surprises Jing Yuan when you compliment him on his fighting prowess or cunning chess play during his spars and chess games with Yanqing. The General doesn’t do these things to show off, but he feels flattered that you pay attention to him and recognize his talents. He has a reputation of being lazy and laidback, and his frequent “breaks” to come visit you instead of doing his paperwork do him no favours. However, he isn’t the Luofu General just for his good looks, and he appreciates you recognizing that. Jing Yuan internally preens at your praise while trying to play it cool in front of Yanqing, but will later wrap you up in a hug and nuzzle against your neck like an affectionate cat, overcome by a surge of love because of your compliments.

🦁 Another one of Jing Yuan’s favourite evening activities is bathing with you. He’s got a large tub that can fit both of you comfortably, so why not make use of it? He enjoys the non-sexual intimacy that comes with sharing a bath. He enjoys the moment of closeness when you’re both at your most vulnerable. Just soaking in the warm water while holding you against him feels cozy to Jing Yuan and helps him relax. He also enjoys making silly little games using soap foam, such as constructing foam horns on your head or dabbing some foam on your nose to make you laugh. Additionally, he likes letting you pamper him by washing his hair or scrubbing his back. Something about being taken care of by you is soothing to him, and he makes sure to return the favour by washing you in return if you’ll let him.

🦁 When it comes to sleeping, Jing Yuan likes positions where he can feel your body against his. Whether you’ve got your head on his chest or he’s spooning you from behind, he doesn’t care as long as he can feel you. It helps him fall asleep easier knowing you’re beside him. His cat also joins you in bed, usually sleeping by your feet or next to your heads. It’s become a routine for it to curl up and sleep with your pair.

🦁 Before actually falling asleep, Jing Yuan likes to chat with you about everything and anything. Nighttime is when you have a moment strictly to yourselves, away from the responsibilities that weigh down on you during the day. To Jing Yuan, nighttime is when you can forget about the things that happened that day and the things that await you tomorrow and just live in the present moment, even if just for a few minutes. He finds it to be the most comfortable time for philosophical discussions, revelations about your pasts, musings for future ambitions, or quirky questions and answers that make you both laugh. It’s a time when you can both be yourselves without any pretences or expectations and bond on a more intimate level. Furthermore, Jing Yuan has developed a habit of wishing you goodnight and kissing your forehead before going to sleep. Even in situations where you fall asleep before he does, he still lightly kisses your forehead before joining you in dreamland.

🦁 Mornings with Jing Yuan are even lazier than the evenings. After his alarm goes off, he’s in no rush to get up, preferring to stay cozied up under the sheets for another few minutes. If you try to shake him awake before he’s ready to get up, Jing Yuan will just wrap an arm around you and pull you close, sleepily mumbling to give him five more minutes while nuzzling into your hair. Despite him being only partially awake, you’ll be immobilized by his sheer strength. It can be a hassle getting him up, but if you nag him enough, Jing Yuan will reluctantly get out of bed.

🦁 When the Luofu General has no pressing matters to attend, he will get ready for work slowly. Everything he does is unhurried, whether it be brushing his teeth, getting dressed, or eating breakfast. He takes his time with each task. He’d like it if you could slow down and savour these moments with him but won’t force you to match his pace if it’s not your thing. He’ll only sigh in disappointment if you rush about the house, scrambling to get ready, and lament about being unable to enjoy a slow morning with you.

🦁 As a General, Jing Yuan usually has his meals prepared for him by professional chefs under his employ, so you and he get to eat a big and delicious breakfast each morning. However, if you offer to make breakfast for the two of you, he can make arrangements to hand over breakfast duty to you. Even if the things you make aren’t as grandiose as what his chefs could make, Jing Yuan still looks forward to eating your cooking. How could he possibly turn down the opportunity to eat food made specially for him by the one he loves? If anything, having you cook for him would make Jing Yuan feel spoiled and loved. He’ll smile like a happy cat while chowing down on your cooking and thank you for the delicious meal with a hug and a kiss.

🦁 Jing Yuan isn’t a sloppy man, but his sleepiness can affect his appearance. When getting dressed, he might forget to button the cuffs or tie a ribbon crookedly, so he greatly appreciates you coming to his rescue by pointing out when things look out of place. He may be called the Dozing General and have a reputation for being lazy, but he can’t afford to appear dishevelled in front of his subordinates. Likewise, Jing Yuan keeps an eye on your outfit too, pointing out if you put on something backwards or if your socks don’t match and things like that. He’s also got a good memory and helps you find items you’ve misplaced, like your keys or phone. He finds mutually helping each other a natural part of living together.

🦁 Jing Yuan’s morning wouldn’t be complete without a goodbye kiss from you. Regardless of which one of you leaves the house first, it became a habit for you to kiss the other goodbye. Jing Yuan will even drag himself out of bed while still half-asleep just to see you off if you leave earlier than him. It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but he finds it heartwarming to wish you a nice day and get the same sentiment in return. He likes being able to see you one more time before being whisked away to his mountain of duties as a General and will be a little brat if you deny him a kiss. Jing Yuan’s day feels brighter just knowing you care enough about him to see him off, and he looks forward to seeing you again after work so he can feel your lips on his once more when he returns.

Argenti

🌹 Having a set routine with Argenti is difficult because he travels so much. The only way you could consistently see him is by traveling alongside him through the universe on his One and Only, and even then, he could disappear on a planet for extended periods of time. As a chivalrous knight, Argenti was notorious for getting wrapped up in strange incidents or rescuing people from monsters and catastrophes. It’s not rare for you to not see him for several days before he returns covered in bruises and scratches and a lengthy apology for leaving your side for so long. It makes him happy whenever you welcome his return with a hug or a kiss after a long absence because he dearly misses your affection.

🌹 Your evenings with Argenti are varied. If he comes home injured, you know to get the first aid kit to treat any minor wounds. Argenti reassures you that you don’t have to trouble yourself on his behalf, but he’s thankful for your kind heart and desire to care for him. He makes sure to express his gratitude by taking your hand and kissing the back of it while saying his thanks.

🌹 If he sustains heavier injuries and must get treatment from a doctor, Argenti makes sure to message you the first chance he gets to let you know he won’t be able to see you until he recovers. It breaks his heart to leave you alone, but he knows you’ll be more upset at him for not getting the treatment he needs, so he stays put. In events like these, he makes sure to message and call you every day until he gets released, wanting to know how you’re doing.

🌹 On most evenings, Argenti comes home with little gifts. Sometimes it a piece of a monster he defeated that he found interesting and wanted to show off to you. Other times it’s things from planets he visited, like a trinket that caught his eye or a delicacy he wants you to try. Argenti enjoys learning about other cultures and exploring the unique things the universe has to offer, and he wants to share that joy with you. Since you can’t always join Argenti on his adventures, he uses these items to connect you to them and let you experience a tiny fraction of his journey.

🌹 Argenti also likes to spend his evenings polishing his armour and lance. You’re welcome to join him if you like, Argenti will show you how to do it properly. As a Knight of Beauty, he is particular about his appearance. How can he relay the magnificence and importance of his beloved Idrila if he lets his armour and weapon grow dull and rusty from neglect? He would bring dishonour on his Aeon and his title as a knight, which is why he polishes his armour until it reflects your faces like a mirror. If you manage to come close with your polishing, Argenti will be proud of you and will praise you for your hard work and dedication to beauty.

🌹 The Knight of Beauty has always been fascinated with all kinds of dances, be it ballet, tango, contemporary, hip-hop, and many more. Pretty much anything is appealing to him as long as it’s not crass and sexual. While he could learn some solo dance styles, a few others required him to have a dance partner which he didn’t have until he started living with you. He suggests for you to learn a dance together and will be happy if you agree, but disappointed and understanding if you turn down his offer. Argenti isn’t a perfect dancer but he’s eager to learn and improve. Having you as his dance partner is perfect because he can improve his skills while simultaneously doing something romantic with you. He doesn’t mind if you have two left feet or step on his toes, he just wants to spend some quality time with you.

🌹 In general, Argenti lets you choose what you guys will do in the evenings. He’s happy to join you on your hobbies and watches you with a soft look in his eyes. Argenti thinks you’re at your most beautiful when you’re talking about the things you love. The way your expression lights up in excitement makes his heart melt. He may not understand the appeal behind some of your hobbies or be bad at them, but he’s determined to learn all he can about them simply because they make you happy.

🌹 If he comes home late and finds you asleep in the lounge while waiting for him, Argenti feels immense guilt. He doesn’t like keeping you waiting or making you worry about him, and while he wishes to apologize immediately, he swallows his words in favour of letting you sleep. He carefully picks you up and carries you to bed, silently promising to make it up to you in the morning.

🌹 Argenti is a gentleman, so when you sleep in the same bed together, he tries his best to respect your boundaries. Unless you tell him it’s okay, he will keep his hands to himself and stay on his side of the bed. It may seem like he doesn’t want to be close to you, but in reality, he’s just worried about invading your personal space. Kissing and hugging when you’re out and about it one thing, but sleeping all cuddled up isn’t for everyone, and he knows that. Nevertheless, he’ll be really happy if you express a desire to be closer and let him hold you. Even then, he tries to be respectful by simply wrapping an arm around you but will hug you more if you tell him to. If you want to cuddle him, he lets you, relishing in your affection. The scent and warmth of your skin soothe him, and Argenti finds he grows sleepy quicker when you hold him.

🌹 The red-haired knight is an early riser, so he usually wakes up long before you do. He’s used to waking up early to go training, but it’s been harder for him to get out of bed ever since you started sleeping with him. Waking up to the sight of your sleeping face never gets old for Argenti. Even when your hair is messy and there’s drool dripping out of the corner of your mouth, Argenti still thinks you’re the loveliest view he has ever seen, and he takes a moment to admire how beautiful you look in your sleep. If he wakes up to find your head on his chest and your limbs wrapped around his body, his heart skips a beat. There’s something so endearing about you using him as a pillow and pressing close like that, that Argenti struggles to summon the will to leave you. How could he when you look so cute? Alas, he regretfully parts from your side to start his day, but he shelves that memory to fondly reminisce over later that day.

🌹 Argenti’s mornings usually start with training. He wants to be in top physical condition and keep his skills sharp to handle any situation that comes his way, especially when it comes to slaying monsters. He’s lost a few people dear to him because he wasn���t strong enough, so he’s determined to improve and grow stronger so he can protect others and most of all you. If you express an interest in exercising in the mornings, Argenti would be happy assist you in any way he could. He’ll wake you up early, make you breakfast, and help you with your workouts if you need it. He’s always up to spar with you, eager to help both of you improve your fighting skills, but he can also assist you with stretches or keep you company for cardio exercises if those are more your thing.

🌹 If you prefer sleeping in, Argenti tries to surprise you with breakfast in bed. It’s nothing fancy as he’s not the best cook, but he tries to make it look appetizing. He wakes you up and gives you a good morning kiss before placing down a tray sprinkled with rose petals on your lap. On the tray you can spot a hearty sandwich, some scrambled eggs, coffee or tea, and a red rose perched in a vase. It’s not much but he hopes it makes you happy. If you praise his efforts, Argenti will light up like the sun, proud for having pleased you and helped you start your day off right. Nevertheless, he wants to surprise you with more elaborate dishes which is why he takes up practicing some recipes in secret. His attempts aren’t always a success, but he keeps at it until he succeeds because he wants to impress you.

🌹 If you offer to cook breakfast instead, Argenti will look forward to whatever it is you make. It can be an elaborate dish or something lumpy and a little overcooked, he will eat it all simply because you made it. Regardless of whether you’re a great or bad cook, Argenti will always give your food and yourself a compliment because he’s touched by the effort you put in to make something for him. He also offers to wash the dishes afterwards, claiming you did your part by cooking breakfast.

Dan Heng

🐉 When you joined the Astral Express as a pathstrider of the Trailblaze and Dan Heng’s lover, Pom Pom was in a bind about where you could sleep on the train. The Express didn’t have enough bedrooms for this many people, so Pom Pom was relieved when you agreed to share the archives room with Dan Heng. For his part, Dan Heng tried to convince you to look for a proper bedroom because it would be more comfortable than sleeping in the archives, but ultimately accepted to having you move in with him.

🐉 March 7th teased you for sharing a room, commenting how you and Dan Heng were like a married couple, but in truth, Dan Heng treated you more like a roommate than a romantic partner. He got you a spare futon and placed it in a free corner of the archives, designating that as your personal spot, and reassured that you will get used to the hum and lights of the machines. His attitude might seem aloof and almost cold, but he is just trying to respect your personal space.

🐉 Thoughts of sharing a bed with you did cross Dan Heng’s mind, but he brushed them off, thinking he would make you uncomfortable if he asked so soon. Sharing a room is already a huge step and he didn’t dare cross the line by asking you to sleep with him. If you want to share a bed with Dan Heng, you will have to make the suggestion yourself because he won’t think to do so anytime soon.

🐉 Dan Heng doesn’t mind how you choose to spend your free time in the evenings. A lot of the members of the Astral Express are eager to spend time with you, so he understands if you’re too busy playing chess with Welt and listening to him rave about animation or helping March take photos and shop for cute items to spend time with him. If you do decide to spend time with Dan Heng, expect to do something productive. Since he’s read a lot of data entries in the database about all kinds of things out there in the universe, Dan Heng naturally wants to test a few things out for himself. He lets you join in on his experiments if you’re curious about them, all the while explaining the theory and science behind the project in a way that you can easily understand.

🐉 Another way he likes to spend time with you is playing board games. Chess is his go-to but he can play others things like cards and whatever else you suggest. Dan Heng usually wins in most of your games but he can make a tactful loss if it means making you happy. If there are games you want to play that require more people, March 7th and the Trailblazer get roped in to play. Having them around usually makes the games chaotic yet fun, but Dan Heng makes sure to keep an eye on everyone lest things spiral out of control.

🐉 His absolute favorite activity to do with you is reading. Settling in a quiet corner of the train with a good book and a cup of hot tea in hand is Dan Heng’s preferred way to unwind. He enjoys it when you join him with a book of your own or another quiet activity so you can spend some time together just doing your own thing. Dan Heng is also happy to discuss any books with you. Though he usually reads scientific literature, he’s willing to read things you like so you can talk about it and share your impressions. He’ll be happy if you try to do the same with his books and will be understanding if his reading material is difficult for you to grasp. In such an event, he will explain what his book is about and basically teach you the material if you’re willing to hear him out.

🐉 Dan Heng also likes to read before bed. When everyone is settling in for the night, he stays up to read in bed with his nightlight on. He doesn’t mind if you ask him to read aloud to you even if he finds it awkward at first. His books are dry, so he won’t blame you if you fall asleep while listening to him, but he’ll be touched and a little flustered if you say you like the sound of his voice. He never thought much about his own voice, but it’s flattering to hear you want him to read out loud just because you like listening to it.

🐉 When sharing a bed with you, Dan Heng likes to drape an arm around your waist or hug you against his chest. He also barely moves in his sleep unless he’s having nightmares, so you’ll find him in the same position he went to sleep. He’s a light sleeper and will easily wake up if you move around too much or make any noise such as going to the bathroom (but he’ll wait for you to return before going back to sleep). Times when you manage to get out of bed without waking Dan Heng are rare, and usually only happen if he’s extremely tired.

🐉 Sharing a bed with another person and being so physically close is foreign to Dan Heng, but he doesn’t mind as long as its you. He did feel a bit awkward at the start but has sense grown used to having you so close. He found he even likes feeling your presence beside him because it reassures a subconscious part of him that you’re safe. In fact, he grows so used to it that he becomes unable to fall asleep without you as easily because he has a constant sense as if something important were missing. Dan Heng also developed a habit of kissing your forehead and wishing you goodnight right before going to sleep, but if he can’t do it because you’re separated for a mission, then he makes sure to at least send you a text to check in on you and wish you goodnight.

🐉 Though he doesn’t get nightmares as often as he used to, Dan Heng still experiences occasional bad dreams about his past life. He became better at coping with them ever since he came to terms with his identity, but some of the scenes in his dreams still leave him rattled and he struggles to fall back asleep. If his thrashing wakes you, Dan Heng apologizes and tells you to go back to sleep while he steps out for some air. If you follow after him with questions and worries about what happened, he’ll share his nightmares and confide in you, trusting you as his partner to reveal that information about his past. Dan Heng doesn’t require comfort since these scenes are all in the past and they’re not technically “his” memories either, but he appreciates you being willing to hear him out. Talking to you about his dreams can sometimes help him sort out his feelings and feel at ease again.

🐉 Chances to sleep in on the Express are rare since Pom Pom ensures everyone is up on time for breakfast. As a natural early riser, Dan Heng seldom has problems waking up early and getting out of bed and will wake you up too, so Pom Pom won’t yell at you to get up. If you’re someone who struggles to wake up early, Dan Heng won’t force you to get up if you’re reluctant to get out of bed, but he’ll warn you that the conductor won’t let others eat unless everyone is gathered at the table. As annoying as they are, such are the rules at the Astral Express. Whatever Pom Pom says, goes.

🐉 Much like everyone else on the train, you are also a part of cooking duty. Everyone must do their part to help keep the place running, as Pom Pom explained. Even if you’re not the best chef in the world, if you’re better than Himeko then that’s more than enough reason to keep you on the schedule. If you really struggle with cooking, then Dan Heng will help you prepare breakfast. He knows a lot of recipes and is an adept cook, arguably the best on the Express, so he knows his way around the kitchen. Rest assured you will be in good hands with him in charge, and something delicious will be ready for the crew to indulge in regardless of how much you screwed up in the process. If you like, he could even teach you how to prepare some basic dishes.

🐉 If you’re a good cook, then Dan Heng will ask you to teach him some of your recipes, particularly ones from your home planet that he hadn’t encountered before. He likes learning new things and finds it valuable to learn more about your culture and customs. It’s a part of your life, and Dan Heng wants to know you as best he can both as his partner and as a person.

🐉 When it’s his turn to cook, Dan Heng will accept any suggestions you might have about what he should make for breakfast. Sometimes he takes your preferences into account and either makes one of your favourite dishes or incorporates one of your favourite foods into whatever he’s making. He doesn’t do it all the time though, so the rest of the Express crew won’t think he’s showing favouritism (March knows and rats him out).

[madamechrissy]

=͟͟͞♡ Healing Hearts =͟͟͞♡

=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader

=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- MDNI- Warnings- overuse/incorrect use of prescription meds, angsty asf in places, scene of a medical procedure, death of a patient )at the beginning) heavy subject matter, some sexual tension. Reader, 26, Dr. Gojo 34- Grey's vibes ✨️

=͟͟͞♡ Word Count- this chap- 8k

=͟͟͞♡ Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!

♡ Reblogs and comments appreciated ♡

=͟͟͞♡ Part Five =͟͟͞♡ Playlist =͟͟͞♡ Masterlist

Part Six

Satoru has a morning routine.

Skincare? Well a splash of cold water on his face, he’s been lucky enough to have insane genetics, in his mid thirties he could pass for a college student, not a line on his perfect skin. But that was really all he did, that splash of cold water every morning, as he then starts to take his morning cocktail, after that he makes himself eat something, then brushes his teeth.

After that, he gets ready for the day, and as that Adderall mixes with his morning coffee? Fuck it’s perfection. Then when the Kolonopin hits right along with it, Satoru’s mind is blissfully open, and he’s able to focus on what he does best, saving lives. One doesn’t just become the best doctor there is, no that takes time, precision, and a lot of sacrifice.

Satoru is alone, usually. For a night he had you in here, in his bed and snuggled against him, and fuck he enjoyed it, which terrifies him. It’s been a week since he’s been able to do more than sneak hungry kisses with you in the locker room of the hospital, your schedule is longer than even his as you’re an intern, recently you worked twenty four hours straight.

Fuck he admires you, how even exhausted and dead on your feet, you manage to put a bright smile on your face, he’d love to just take care of you, but you have to go through this to truly become a great doctor. But he finds himself missing you, constantly thinking about you. You’ve become a fixation, a sort of obsession, he wants to know so much more about you.

He wants your body to fall apart under him again, wants to taste your arousal on his tongue, feel you clench around his fingers, watch as your cheeks flush and your hips raise for him. He wants you naked in his bed, but he also knows he’s just not good enough for you, for what you want and need.

But he’s selfish.

It’s almost Christmas, and the snow has piled up as he slides into his warmed up car, thinking of you and your ancient SUV, he hopes you at least have heat. His drive to the hospital is quiet, no music, as he takes another pill, this one is his Xanax, something about Klonopin and Xanax is blissful. Any stress he has gets replaced by a ton of ‘I don’t give any fucks’.

He knows you saw, you haven’t mentioned it though, and tonight he’s supposed to actually get you on this date. He wants time with just you, no other distractions, being inside of you is better than any cocktail of benzos he could dream of. If it was all his life consisted of, maybe he could go without it.

But the real world is just that.

The waiting room is packed, Satoru instantly goes into doctor mode, getting one lady in a wheelchair who’s vomiting blood, and he thanks god for that xanax, to help him through. He thanks god (or medicine rather) for the adderall making him have enough energy to run back and forth like a madman, helping everyone he can.

He helps the med students, the interns, the patients, the doctors on the floor who all come to him. ‘Dr. Gojo’ this ‘Please, Dr. Gojo- a minute’ that. Can you check this patient, can you check this scan, all while he’s got his eyes on his four interns, including the girl consuming him, the girl with exhausted eyes and shoulders that just look too narrow lately.

The girl he makes eat something because she’s been here all night helping a baby after a rough c section. He finds you in the nicu, with your hand inside the incubator, when he holds the coffee and muffin he’s brought you. But he pauses to watch you, as you mesmerize him with your pretty smile, singing something to the itty bitty baby.

“Does that actually help? I’ve heard it does.” Satoru murmurs, you jolt just a bit, looking up at him nervously.

“I think they enjoy the interaction, do you know if baby’s don’t get it they just… won’t make it?” You gulp as you speak, before continuing to hum.

“Shoko says you’ve been at it all night, why not eat a little something?” He suggests, you sigh, nodding then, taking off your gloves, going to wash your hands and pat them dry.

“You’re so sweet, thank you.” You give him a little kiss, and he exhales, setting your things down to pull you close.

“I miss you, can you hate babies already so you’re back on my floor?” You giggle breathlessly then.

“No, sorry. I miss you too.” You kiss him slowly, softly, your lips little brushes against his, in an easy rhythm that feels so natural, so perfect.

“Fine, one more day then I want you back.”

“Needy for me?” You tease, and he exhales, nodding. “I can’t wait for us to have a date, if shit doesn’t hit the fan.”

“When doesn’t it? Alright, you eat Missy.”

“Thank you Satoru.” You kiss him again, he pulls you so tight, like he can’t get you close enough, before letting you go.

After eating your breakfast/lunch/dinner - that muffin encompasses all of your overnight shift - you’re yawning when Shoko comes to you. “Emergency c section, you ready for this, intern?”

“Ready.” You’re scrubbing in now with Dr. Shoko, as the patient is prepped and sedated, falling into a slumber.

“She was a drug user, the entirety of the pregnancy.” Shoko informs you softly, as well as the others, and you pause then, looking up at her soft brown eyes behind her glasses.

“Is that why she’s so small?” You murmur, she looks maybe three months pregnant at best.

“Mmhm, it’s not the first. Four of them had fetal problems, two made it and were sent to child protective services.”

“Four!?” Shoko sighs, nodding as she starts prepping her, drawing a line with a marker over her lower abdomen. 

The surgery begins, you’re trying to keep your eyes on the procedure, not the heart rate monitor of the baby you heard earlier, already so faint there’s likely no chance. You don’t need to hear the baby’s heart drop, not when you know what that means, not when it’s one of your worst fears in this job so far.

You know all lives are important, but something about a sweet, precious baby not making it makes you question anything and everything, kids in general, it’s so much to handle so much. You know you can’t let it get you, you have to do what you do with all patients, focus.

Satoru wants you to dislike babies, to know better, but where he’s wrong is working with Shoko has you more in love with them. But you could do without, without having children, even if it’s heartbreaking to think of,  if it meant having Satoru’s love. You could put that aside and respect him, but right now all you can think of is how badly you hope this baby has a chance.

“Scalpel.” You watch as Shoko makes the incision, a perfect line, and you’re trying to keep your breath even as you watch her pull back the skin, the muscle, the fat, until she’s finally cutting toward the uterus.

You both are resting pieces of this woman’s small body on her nearly flat, open stomach, one of the oddest parts of the procedure. “Not much blood, that’s good.”

“Yes, here.” Then you see it, the uterus as Shoko hands you the scalpel. “You can do this.”

You take it with sure hands, a sense of dread filling you, one you’ve felt before, but you shove it down, as you delicately cut to reveal the baby, so tiny and blue, and not moving whatsoever. You swallow down the bile in your throat, taking a deep breath behind your mask as you start to suction its nose and mouth, it’s little limbs twitching slightly for just a moment.

“Come on, come on little one, breathe, please.” You whisper, your voice hoarse as you try to get it to breathe, taking the little boy to the little table as Shoko stitches the mom back up.

You’re intubating the baby that’s not crying, you’re giving it oxygen, you’re doing the little compressions, and you can’t hold back the tears that fall as you realize there’s no chance. This baby is maybe five months gestation at best, but even for that it’s unreasonably tiny, it’s just a helpless little doll on your table, one that you keep trying, as Shoko comes, listening for breathing, looking for any sign of life.

You hate that you're crying right here, that you can barely hold yourself together. Just what sort of doctor even are you!? You hate that you’re not stronger than this, but you’re just so tired, and you hate that you can’t save everyone, especially this little boy. Did he even have a chance, as his mother did all of that?

Even so, you hate that you couldn’t save him. You hate that Satoru isn’t here to hold you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, to distract you from this depression, Shoko’s murmuring in your ear, but you can’t even hear her truly. You keep repeating to yourself- ‘you’re a doctor, you’re a doctor, you’re a doctor’.

You have to keep going, even when it’s hard, right? You keep going even when it’s all just too much. You are shaking however, when Shoko gently pulls you away from the lifeless little body, shaking her head then.

“Long gone, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” You shake your head, you have to be pried off the little lifeless baby.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Shh, it’s okay. Step outside, I’ll be there.”

You realize from the talk amongst the nurses and others that the mother didn’t even care, she had meant to have an abortion but was too preoccupied, and thought drugs would ‘deal with it’. You can’t stop your anger, your fury, despite needing to remain ‘detached’.. You’re sobbing silently, sitting in one of the waiting room seats when Shoko and Satoru come to you.

“Think you need to take a break, go with Satoru for a bit, hmm?” You nod a bit, Shoko holds you for a moment, kissing your head, and you fall into Satoru’s arms, wrapped up so tightly, inhaling his scent, that cologne of his, feeling his heart against your cheek.

“Oh, baby… I’m so sorry.” He whispers huskily. “Come on, let’s go have some privacy?”

Soon you’re in his office, and you can’t hold it back anymore, not when it’s just the two of you, you break down completely, until you’re a mess.

“Shh, shh.” Satoru’s rubbing your back as you break into sobs, unable to breathe now, getting lightheaded as your breaths come in sharp little pants. “Hey, you need to take a deep breath.”

“C-can’t… how can I… be a doc- if I…” You’re all flushed and red when he pulls back and looks at you, cupping your face between his big hands.

“Breathe. In. Out.”

“C-can’t, can’t… fucking it all up… I…” You back away then, hand on your chest, struggling as your hands are going numb, and you feel yourself getting dizzy. “The baby is just… he’s just gone and I… I can’t take it.”

Satoru sighs, holding you closely. “You have to though, this is what being a doctor is, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, feeling your blood pressure rising more and more, the crushing weight and your exhaustion hitting. “Then I can’t, I can’t-”

“Yes. You can.” Satoru shakes you then, grabbing you by your shoulders. “You can do this, you did what you could with the baby. Plenty of others you’ve saved, and their moms. You can’t fix everything.”

“I… I…” You collapse against him, sobbing again, as the door knocks, Satoru shushes you gently.

“Yeah?”

“Dr. Gojo…” You hear Miwa’s voice then, you quickly swipe at the streams of tears on your sticky cheeks.

“I’m busy right now, what is it?” You’re turning away, trying to get yourself together now.

“I am prepping OR 3 for surgery.”

“Yes, thanks.” Satoru’s hand is on your back now, comforting in its touch, but then his words make you tense. “Do you see now?”

“See what exactly?” You turn to him, eyes swimming with tears that are burning as you struggle to focus.

Satoru sighs, swiping a hand through his silky white locks, before putting his hands in the lab coat pockets, tilting his head. “How awful it’d be, to have kids. Especially this line of work, how could you keep it all together?”

You glare then, jaw setting, hands clenched into fists by your sides, fury taking over every part of you. “What!?”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but maybe this is a learning lesson, a reality check of what you’ll handle here.”

Your jaw clenches so tightly it hurts, breaths quicker and quicker. “You know what? I have not said shit about the cocktail of pills in your bathroom. I have not said shit about the fact that you seem to hate kids or something. I have not said one word about you, about your lifestyle, your fear of commitment, I haven’t tried to change you or pry.”

Satoru falters then, hitting him in waves how furious you are, realizing now what he’s done, his lips parting. “Shit, I’m sorry, I-”

“No, you’ll let me finish, Dr. Gojo.” At your formal tone he’s breaking, he sees it then, you’re trembling, barely able to keep it together, he feels your anger and even worse, your disappointment. “I haven’t said a damn thing, because we just got together, and we don’t even know each other yet.”

“You act like this connection is normal?” His hands go to your waist, but you shove them off.

“No, it’s not, but what is also not normal is pushing someone to want what you want. You’re trying so hard to make me change my mind, for what? So I can be a perfect little girlfriend for you? So easy, let you do what you want and have no fucking opinions?”

“That’s not what I want. I want you.” He tries again, but his hands freeze an inch above your skin when you glare up at him through tears.

“I don’t pry, I don’t judge, I just accept you. But you can’t accept anything that doesn’t fit into your world, can you?”

“I can accept it, I just know you’re not thinking rationally, you’re young and still inexperienced.”

You laugh then, a humorless laugh at him. “That’s insane talk from you, truly Dr. Gojo. Your whole MO is thinking outside the norms, is letting feelings in. But only if it benefits you. And my age? I’m no baby, you’re not even that much older.”

“It’s life experience, is all.”

“Hah, you don’t even know my life.”

“Just… I’ll drop it. I swear.” You shake your head at him, and he panics then, sensing you falling back from him. “I will drop it, come here, you’re upset.”

“Yes, I’m upset! What I just had to see, what I just had to… and you’re what, rubbing it in my face!?”

Satoru’s blood pressure rises as he realizes he’s losing you, his hands trembling, sure hands that never falter. “I’ll stop, just don’t… don’t do it.”

“Don’t do what?” You whisper, he cups your face and you can’t push him away, not when he slams his lips down on yours, and you’re kissing him back for just a moment, before thinking better of it, freezing your lips, pressing them in a terse line. He’s a breath away, leaning over you, taking over you completely.

But you can’t.

“Don’t you leave me. Please. You’re important to me.” He needs you, he needs you so badly, but he feels you slipping through his fingers, knowing he’s pushed you too far. “I’ll drop this. I’ll respect what you want.”

“Oh now you will? Instead of comforting me after watching that little baby…” You can’t even say it, you can’t even think of it, the images in your head making you devastated. “You know I’m emotional, you knew that and you said it was a good thing for a doctor, but because it’s not what you want in this situation you use it as what. A lesson? It’s no lesson, it was a baby!”

Satoru sighs now, shaking his head, covering his face, temples pounding as the blood rushes to his brain. “It was fucked up of me.”

“Yeah, it was.” You take a shaky breath, shaking your numb hands, pacing now, and Satoru watches you with his heart in his throat. “I can’t.”

“Don’t do this. I see what I did.”

“This isn’t good, any of it, me and you. What do we have? We had insane sex, I have feelings…”

Satoru blinks snowy lashes, droplets just nearing the tips of them, as his lower lip trembles, damn near ending your resolve. “You have-”

“Feelings that are too much. It’s too much, I can’t even focus on this internship, you consume me.” Satoru yanks you against his chest, his breath sweeping over your swollen lips, bitten to death from the stress of the day.

“You think you don’t consume me?” He whispers hoarsely, and you shake your head, earning his humorless laugh. “You’re wrong, so wrong, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t look at me that way, those eyes of yours, eyes that make me stupid.” You shove at his chest as those blue eyes take you over, snowy lashes lowered, a beautiful face that makes you ache.

“Don’t leave me. Please.” His voice breaks, and you feel it, his vulnerability, it makes your stomach flip, makes you almost sick.

“Why can’t you accept me, when I accept you?”

“Because I don’t want to disappoint you, I thought it’d be better if you want…”

“What you want.”

Satoru gulps now. “I’m selfish, I want you and only you, I wouldn’t want something else in our lives.”

“Our lives?” You laugh then. “There’s never an ‘our’. Not when you just want to fix everything you deem wrong with me.”

“I don’t want to ‘fix’ you. I’ll stop it. Just kiss me.”

“No.” He pauses a centimeter from your lips, exhaling. “I won’t kiss you anymore, I won’t let you say insane things in my ear while you fuck me, ‘only me ever’ what are you trying to do to me!?”

“I meant it.”

“No, let me go.” His hands drop, as he blinks back tears, and you’re a mess in front of him. “Satoru… I could have gotten over it for you. Wanting marriage, wanting serious shit, wanting kids. Don’t you know I’d give it all up for you, for a chance to be with you? But you trying to change me? That’s where I draw the line.”

You hate seeing him in tears, your beepers both go off then, and you step away, heading towards the door. Satoru’s hand stops you, over your little one, his voice desperate as he leans over you. “I was wrong, will you just forgive me?”

“You made me work with Shoko to hate babies. Then when it backfires, you say something like that?”

“I know. I know.” He hugs you from behind, burying his head against your neck, and you love the embrace, you love him.

But you also love yourself, and you can’t handle it anymore, the cold, cruel way he goes about things. The careless way he dismisses you and all of your feelings, the way he thinks only his way is right, that everyone should think as he does. You shake in his hold, everything pulling you to him.

“Do you hate me?” He whispers brokenly, and you shake your head, looking up at him now, his blue eyes glittering with tears.

“I could never. Far from it.”

“Then give me a chance to fix it.” His thumb brushes over your jaw, your precious face destroyed, your beeper goes off again and you take a breath.

“Let me go. We’ll talk later.”

You walk out, leaving him sobbing against the door, his head against it, fist landing on it, struggling to pull himself together. You’ve in just a couple months become the most important thing in the world to him, but you’re just… leaving him. And he can’t blame you, he’s confused you, he’s turned your life upside down, and he instead of comforting you…

He threw shit in your face.

Why couldn’t he just let you want kids? Well, because he can’t be a parent, and he can’t give you it, and he wants you, no he needs you. He needs you with him, only him, to feel your lips on his, your body against him. To see your little smile, to hear your moans and cries, to comfort you when you’re exhausted.

He should have comforted you, why did he need to do it like that? Why did he fuck everything up? The thoughts swarm in his head as he leans back in his chair now, covering his face with a hand, before he yanks open his drawer. He takes out the xanax and crushes it right on his desk, lining them up with a credit card he yanks now from his wallet.

He rolls up a hundred dollar bill and snorts it right up his nostril, it burns like a bitch, makes his eyes water, but he knows it will hit soon, he won’t give as many fucks, right? But after twenty minutes he’s taking another, and another, until he sees his shift is done, and he’s weakly walking towards the locker rooms, seeing you there changing, looking at your gorgeous frame.

Your eyes catch his then, you quickly look away, your eyes are puffy from the crying he’s made you do, when he slips off his shirt, head fuzzy. He stumbles just a bit, catching your concerned gaze. Which infuriates him then, he steadies himself and glares at you, slipping off his own shirt, noticing your gaze just grows more worried when he slips his top on.

“Satoru, what’s… are you okay?” You care about him? Why?

“Just peachy, sweets.” He gives you a fake smile, and your heart races, as you look up at eyes almost black, so dilated.

“Satoru are you-”

“Don’t ask shit about my life. You’re done, right?” His unexpectedly cruel words pierce your heart, you turn away, body shaking. “That’s what I thought.”

“Are you okay?” You ask again, turning back around, watching his lids lower just a bit as he leans over you, pressing you against the cool metal of the lockers.

“No, m’not okay. Girl of my fuckin’ dreams hates me.” You hear it, the slut of his words, as he takes a hand and cups your face. “Why do you gotta be so beautiful?”

“You’re fucked up.” You manage to breathe out, and he smirks then.

“Me? Nah. Maybe fucked up over you, intern. Haunt my every dream, now you’re gonna just leave?”

“Satoru…”

“You should know what you’re missing.” He kisses you again, desperate and messy, brutal and hungry, hands pulling you against his hard body. You whimper, hating your body’s reaction to him, how it lights up. “You want me, huh?”

“Of course I do. It’s you who can’t accept me.”

“I can… I can…” He kisses you again, one hand cupping you between your thighs over your leggings. “Always so hot f’me.”

“We won’t do it. I deserve better.”

“You do.” He presses a finger along your clit, moaning then. “Better, better… you do… lemme just take care of you, hmm?”

“Stop it, Toru. You’re not yourself right now.”

“This is me.” He kisses you again, as you press on his chest. “It’s all me, this is really me. Gonna run the other fuckin direction when you learn.”

“Ahem.” Suguru’s clearing of his throat does nothing to Satoru, who’s in a haze of lust, depression and xanax. “Satoru, back off.”

“She’s leaving me, Sugu, who doesn’t?”

“It’s not like that!” You hiss through your teeth.

“Satoru…”

“What?” He sways just a bit, Suguru’s frowning now as he looks at him.

“Really, Satoru?”

“What? Really what? I’m tired of everyone so fucking judgy.”

“Suguru take him home.” You whisper, and he nods then, but Satoru glares over at you.

“Why should he?” He demands. “I’m fine. I take more than I did for fucking breakfast.”

“You can’t have someone see you like this.” Your first worry is someone walking in, Satoru losing his career, every other hurt or worry is thrown into a back seat.

“M’perfect, baby. Should I show you?” He kisses you again, as you shove at him, glaring.

“You’re not perfect, maybe something’s hitting harder? You’re not okay.” He shakes his head, laughing now, eyes glinting.

“No I’m not okay, how can I be? When you’re leaving me.”

“I’m not, I just… I’m mad and I’m upset. Okay? Let me be. It doesn’t mean you have to… hurt yourself-”

“You hurt me existing.” He whispers, cupping your face again.

“Satoru, enough.” Suguru’s words resonate in Satoru’s brain, thank god. “Get your goddamn jacket and shoes on.” Satoru huffs and Suguru brushes your hair back as he finally lets you breathe, ever so gently, dark violet eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay, love?”

You nod quickly. “We just… have different views and he was hurtful, but I’m worried more than anything.” You whisper, looking at Satoru now, you’ve never, ever seen him like this. Your heart hurts for him.

“He’ll be fine, I’ve got it. You get home and get some sleep.”

“Thank you, Suguru.” He nods, and you shut your locker, when Satoru looks at you with devastated eyes, shattering your heart.

“I’m so sorry for what I did. Okay?” He whispers, taking your hands then, and you sigh, shutting your eyes for a moment.

“Satoru I never put myself first, with my toxic exes. I let them run all over me. I have to take care of my heart this time.It’s not that I don’t feel it, I feel it. Just please, I have to put myself as a priority.” You touch his chest over his soft sweater, and he has two trails of tears falling from his cerulean eyes.

“Do you need time?”

“I need a minute to breathe, to think. We’ll talk more when you’re…”

“What, sober? Sweetheart I never am.” He whispers, right against your lips, Suguru puts a hand on his shoulder now.

“She’ll talk to you tomorrow. Right?”

“I will.” Satoru kisses your forehead, and you have to hold in every bit of you that wants to take him home yourself, that part screaming forgive him.

But even for Satoru Gojo, the man that’s taken over your heart, you have to protect yourself.

“Good night, then intern.” He murmurs, running the backs of his cool fingers across your overheated cheek.

“Good night Satoru, Suguru.” He gives you the smallest smile, when you leave Suguru exhales, covering his face.

“I fucked it all up, Sugu.” His voice is broken, and Suguru puts an arm around him now.

“How much did you take?”

“Four bars. Not OD level.”

“Thank god. Just… Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Soon you see Satoru and Suguru, as you climb up in your car, and you rest your head on the steering wheel, bawling your eyes out.

It feels so wrong not to be in his arms, not to kiss him, something that just started became so precious to you, so special. But what he did was nasty and hurtful, what he keeps doing, trying to make you change like this, you know you’ve done the right thing. But you also know you’re in love with him, with a beautiful, brilliant and broken man, and you won’t be able to let him go fully.

*****

The next morning Satoru is there bright and early, sipping on coffee in the cafeteria as you walk in, faltering. Remembering so vividly being pressed against those lockers, those eyes that were black almost are now a calm storm of blue, as he looks at you over his hot cup, steam fogging up around his face. You just stand there, because you’re exhausted, you’re hurt.

You want to be with him more than anything, you wanted to go on that damn date with him, wanted to fall asleep in his arms. You want to just forgive him so easily, to fall into the abyss that is Satoru Gojo, to feel those plush lips on yours, to have those eyes devour you. Feel those long fingers that are currently curling around that styrofoam cup, touching your cheek.

You both stand there, until you clear your throat, smiling just a little, a sad smile that makes Satoru feel like shit. He knows how bad he’s hurt you, he’s had all morning to think about it, about how fragile you were, so vulnerable, coming to him to feel better, and what did he do instead? Make you leave him, devastate you, and all he can think of is how to put a real smile on your face again.

“Morning, Dr. Gojo.” You say softly, eyes lowering, lashes casting shadows over your cheeks.

“Good morning, intern.” He says, his voice isn’t the bright and goofy one you’re used to, or the husky sultry one for you, or even the flirtatious one. It’s a soft voice, unsure, just like you.

You grab your coffee now, your shoulder brushing his, just that contact alone makes you ache, the pain in your heart so brutal you feel emotions starting to come in waves. There is so much left unsaid as you both walk out past the packed waiting room, heading over to the elevator, Satoru presses the button, and you stand next to him, feeling the pull, it’s just stronger today.

“I’m…” Satoru clears his throat, looking down at you now, your breath catches. “I’m really sorry that I pushed it. I understand we’re over, but I need to tell you.”

You look up at, swallowing nervously, the backs of his hand brushing against yours, and yours gently brushes back, sending shivers down his spine. “I forgive you, I do. It’s just… we’re too different.”

Satoru turns toward you, leaning down low, free hand cupping your face. “Too different?”

You nod, feeling the tears burning your eyes. “We are, Satoru, so different, and that’s okay. But I think we both know it won’t work.”

“Yeah, you think so?” His words are hoarse, his gaze tearing through your every barrier, a sad, lost gaze.

“I do. Maybe you were happier before, a Hojo and all.” You smile sadly, looking down at his perfect lips. “I hope we can be friends, when you go back to collecting those infinity stones.”

Satoru presses the stop on the elevator then, making you gasp, pulling you by your waist against him, so close you taste that sweet mocha on his breath. “You can leave me, I get it, but don’t think for one minute you’re not all I want. Don’t think I’m giving up on this.”

You can’t speak, not when he’s so close, not when the words he’s saying are ruining you, that you’re melting for him, as your own free hand slides up his chest. “You’re not?”

“How could I? It’s you.” Satoru exhales against you, almost brushing his lips on yours, before pulling back, starting the elevator. “Want that goddamn date with you. I’ll do anything I can to earn it.”

“Satoru…” He walks off when the elevator opens, leaving you to lean against the rail, head pressed against the wall, you’re not sure what floor you’re going to, you just know he’s got you too far gone to leave just now.

He’s not giving up on you, and you don’t want him to give up, either. But with so much between you left unsaid, you have no clue what any of it means. When you’re finally where you need to be, after several elevator rides of pulling yourself together, Satoru checks his rolex, peering at you.

“You’re late, intern.” His voice is calm, professional.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You manage hoarself, as Toge, Yuuta and Maki look at you, concern in their gazes, as they of all people truly knew what a mess you were last night after you got home.

“Don’t let it be a habit.” Gojo says, trying to be stern but it’s failing, it’s just a soft little order, one you nod at. “Wanna work with Shoko or do the pit with me?”

You’re surprised then, blinking a bit. “The pit, if I can please.”

He gives just the smallest little smile. “Then you’re on it. Maki, your week with Shoko.”

“Babies, yuck.” She shivers and Satoru smiles just a bit bigger, as Yuuta snorts in laughter.

Satoru surely feels the same as Maki, but you?

Satoru knows you are yourself, uniquely so. He now knows you were going to sacrifice it all for him, and he didn’t deserve you, not one bit, you deserve more, everything. But he’s so selfish, he wants you back, and he knows he’ll do anything for it, to have you back in his embrace, which feels so empty.

When you’re both alone in his office later, while going over a patient, he keeps his distance as much as he can. Satoru wants to respect this, your wishes, but his hands long to touch you, even those casual teasing brushes you all shared had meant so much to him.

“Present your case, intern.” He says then, leaning on his desk, you feel this distance he is keeping, and it breaks you, but you pull it together, this is your decision right?

“We had a patient with hours of stomach pain last night, ultrasound found gallstones, which should be what occurred, and ordered an EKG to rule out any potential signs of heart attack.”

“Perfect.”

“Patient is in his late fifties, mild drinker, smoker, but otherwise healthy, a little overweight. He likes tacos, he said.” You smile just a bit at it.

“Well who doesn’t? And EKG results?”

“Everything came back normal.”

“So what’s the best course of action?”

“The stones are small, but there are a few. I would suggest a laparoscopic cholecystectomy first, aside from gallbladder removal. That, and a lower fat diet, along with no alcohol should have him just right.” Satoru smiles at you, fuck you make him proud, holding yourself high.

“Exactly right, do you want to assist?”

You blink in surprise, you weren’t sure after everything, but Satoru is clearly not holding any of this against you. “If you would let me, of course, Sir.”

Sir.

Should be calling him that in the bedroom, he thinks, how pretty you’d be on your knees, begging for his cock in your mouth. The images are so lewd and it takes him everything to keep it together. He smiles though, sitting down and taking one of his klonopin right in front of you. You look away nervously, biting your lip.

“You should know all of me. You should know you were smart to leave.” He takes one and chews it up, feeling the sweetness hit his tongue.

“I don’t want to leave you.” You whisper, coming to him then, he pulls you between his thighs now, and you cup his face. “I didn’t judge you.”

“I know you didn’t, I know.” His eyes shut, he turns and kisses your palm so sweetly. “I won’t have anyone else, it’s just you.”

“Satoru it’s insane to say it, when you…”

“I know. I know it is.” He pulls you down, to where you’re leaned over him, one leg over his chair, your hands gripping the arms of his seat. His hands slip over your waist, right over your scrubs. “I’ll do anything to make it right.”

“You think I don’t want to kiss you, fuck you? Suck you right here?” Satoru moans, hand pulling at your hair at the nape of your neck, little networks of goosebumps pricking up, your body reacting in every way, nipples pressed against your bra, desiring his touches.

“Think I don’t want you wrapped on this cock?” His seductive whisper has your hips shifting, a movement he notices avidly.

“You can have anyone, Satoru.”

“I only want you. I’ll have to show you. But will you let me try?” He asks, emotional now as the overwhelming feelings hit.

“I don’t want to be changed for you, I don’t want to give up who I am.” He sighs now, nodding, sad look on his beautiful face.

“I won’t change you. But sweetheart, you are changing me.”

“Bad or good, Satoru?” Your whisper damn near ends him, is it bad or good, this obsession with you? You’re good, but is he?

“I want it to be good. I don’t want to make you cry again, break you down, terrify you.”

You ease in his hold, a hold you never want to leave, but you try to think rationally, despite the overwhelming pull of him, despite the ache to press yourself fully against him, to let him take your pain away. “Then let’s… take time.”

He nods, brushing a thumb on your lower lip, just a little glossy from your chapstick, he can almost taste it, vanilla sugar. He’s caressing your face ever so softly. “I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“Thank you.” You kiss his cheek, before pulling yourself off him, sighing.

“Time, huh?” Any time without you in his arms makes him sick, but when you nod he kisses your forehead, so sweetly you want to fall against him, fall into him. “I’l give it, don’t even deserve this right now.”

“I still feel it all for you.” You say, before you pull away, making his heart race. “Don’t hurt yourself over this, please. It’s not… I still…”

“Don’t worry about me, sweets. I’m fine.” His sad smile doesn’t reassure you anymore than he’s pretending it to be true. “Now, go get ready to put him on the board, yeah?”

“Yes Dr. Gojo.” You give him another worried little smile, leaving Satoru to cover his face in his hands.

No amount of a benzodiazepine lessens the need for you.

Your back is against the door, breaths coming quickly, leaning your head back and just longing to be with the man inside, the broken man that has your heart. You know it will never heal without him, no it needed him to heal, you want to stand so firm but your heart and soul know you belong to him, even if for now, you both don’t know it’s true.

You put on a brave smile, and set about your day. You could do this, right? Be without him? You were fine your whole life before you even knew Satoru. Surely… but then why then every time you formally speak to him, do you wish your lips could crash on his?

The day is hectic, even more hectic than usual, you’re running on nothing again, and when you’re finally done, and you’re heading to your car, you can hardly hold your eyes open. Satoru’s next to you suddenly, hands on your shoulders, you yawn as he looks down at you, you’re so curious how he got here.

“You’re too tired to drive, intern.”

You look at him, squinting just a bit in the dark night, the wind softly blowing back your sweater and making his snowy hair sway. “Are you fucked up?”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Normal meds. I wouldn’t hurt you. Intentionally, aside from being an ass. I’ll take you home, Maki can bring you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, thank you Satoru.” Soon you’re driving in his car, his hand keeps wanting to rest on your thigh, but he stops himself. He’s running on nothing himself at this point, he’s exhausted, and all he can think of is what it’d be like to hold you against him tonight.

The longing for you, for any of you destroys him, the only sound is his car gently moving through the snow, the windshield wipers going as you keep stealing glances at him, so tired your eyes are heavy. All you can think of is holding him, falling into that bliss, god imagine, snuggling with him again, waking up with his kisses.

But you don’t know him, truly, and how will you, when you’re running from him? Even if it is the best thing for you, it doesn’t make it easier, not when you study his perfect profile in the night. Not when he glances your way for just a moment, that hand hovering right next to your thigh, like he’s fighting it too.

Soon you’re home, the heat of his car mixed with how tired you are makes it almost impossible to leave. Satoru leans over, unseatbelted you, and himself, a hand finally gently over your thigh. It burns through your warm, plush leggings, like a brand on your skin, his other hand brushing your hair back ever so softly, as he opens his mouth, then closes it.

It’s quiet in the car, your breaths and the low purr of the car filling the air, along with the wind outside and the gently falling flakes. “I will do everything I can to get you back, I won’t give up. I’m too fucking selfish.”

You smile, so sleepy, caressing his perfect face. “Satoru, you’re amazing, brilliant, great at so much, but you have to learn, you can’t just fix people, you have to accept them.”

“I didn’t mean to. I just…” He swallows, resting his head on yours, and you’re dying to kiss him, to feel his mouth take you over, he is your drug.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. What I did, it was not okay. I talked to Sugu a long time last night, blitzed the fuck out. What I did was horrible, you needed me to comfort you, and I made it all worse.”

“Yeah. You did.” He exhales, smirking just a bit.

“You’re brutally honest.”

“You like that, I think.” You lean your chin up, noses brushing, lips just that bit apart, killing you both.

“I love it, I love that you have your convictions, your emotions, I love so fucking much about you. I know I didn’t show that.”

“No, you didn’t. But… Thank you for that.” You pull back a bit, taking a breath. “I don’t trust myself around you, I’ll falter, I’ll give in. And Satoru I have to…”

“You have to be a priority.”

“That, I’ve never been.” Your phone starts going off again, you check it and frown, making Satoru curious, but he knows he shouldn’t pry. “Case in point, my other stupid ex.”

He glares at your phone, then looks up at you, softer, concern in his gaze, mixed with self loathing. “You have bad taste.”

“Satoru, not you. There’s so much good here.” You put a gentle brush of your lips on his now, easing back as his eyelids lower, as his grip slips higher. “I want to fall into this, into you. You’re my own Xanax.”

“I’m that good?” He smirks, and you laugh softly. “You still haven’t even asked, why I’m on it all.”

You bite your lip, shaking your head, enjoying the heat of his hard body against yours too much. “It’s not my place right now. I should go.”

“Yeah…” Please don’t go, please.

Something pauses you, and you hug him then, he hugs you back tightly, and you kiss him once more, exhaling against his lips. “Don’t give up on it.”

“I sure fucking won’t. I win at everything you know.” You snort at that, a smile brightening your beautiful face, making him melt for you.

“We’ll see about it. Take care, Satoru, please drive safely in this?”

“I will. You get some sleep.” He wishes he could come inside, in your warm, cozy home, and hold you, but he knows he can’t.

Yet.

Satoru won’t give up.

You wave at him before you get inside, the overwhelming, exhausting past week eating you alive, and you’re stumbling when Toge sees you. He walks up quickly, concern clear in his violet eyes, hands on your shoulders. “Okay?”

You break then, shaking your head and sniffling. “No, m’not, Toge.”

Toge holds you then, as you sob against him, and soon Maki and Yuuta are out there too, all rubbing your back, your hair, as you can’t stop crying. It’s too much, not being with him, the hurt he caused, the fears you have. The past days, losing that little baby, losing so many, losing your fucking mind.

“I’m so tired, you guys, of all of it.” You barely speak, barely hold it together, as they all gently speak.

“No, you got this baby, I swear. If it’s not Gojo. if he’s not the one for you, guess what? You’ll be okay, we’re here for you, either way.” Maki says softly, and you nod, sniffling now.

“You have to do what’s best for you, don’t feel guilty.” Yuuta says, and Toge’s giving you the saddest look of all.

“Hurting.” You nod quickly, hugging him again.

“Don’t you run from me, please.” You say softly, as he strokes your back. “I need you all.”

“Not running.” He assures you, with a sweet smile, and you feel so at home with them, but something’s missing.

Satoru is missing.

How has he become everything so quickly?

But soon Maki is getting you a glass of wine, and Toge has cookies for everyone, Yuuta is putting on your favorite movie. And as you’re cuddled with your best friends on your old couch, so comfy and worn in, it almost feels perfect. You’re blessed to have them, warm with the fire going, while the snow falls outside. But you can’t help but look out the window.

“I love him, fuck.” You whisper softly.

“We know.” Maki says, you snuggle back up to her, curling up and letting her rub your hair.

“I love you three so much. Don’t leave me, even if I’m a mess.”

“We’re not going anywhere. Shh, just relax.”

Sleep doesn’t hit for Satoru that night, not when he stares at your number over and over with your picture in his phone, not when he thinks of the date he had ready on that fairy boat for you, not when he thinks of you in his home. He stares at that damn piano, remembering kissing you on that bench.

But he was selfish, he was pushy, he ruined such a beautiful thing before it began.

Satoru knows now, he needs you, like he needs to breathe, and he knows by looking in your eyes, you feel it, though you’re now terrified. He was so afraid of pushing you away, that he did just that. As he sips down a whiskey and pops a seroquel, he hopes it will take him to sleep soon, blissful dreamless sleep where he won’t have to feel this pain.

Satoru looks out the window, watching the snowfall and wondering if you’re okay, before the sleeping meds take him out. But it doesn’t prevent those dreams, it only makes them more vivid, and he wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating, panicking. He calls you, knowing you won’t answer, but he hears it.

A sleepy ‘hmm?’

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

“Shh. Satoru… s’okay… shhh…”

He lets tears fall as he sets the phone on speaker. “Will you… let me hear you breathe? So I can sleep?”

“Hmm, you’re weird Doc.” He snorts through his tears, and you sleepily wonder if this is a dream on your end. “But mkay.”

He soon hears your steady breathing, and he finally can sleep, mind whirling with ways he can earn you, while you listen to his little sigh, hand gripping the phone, picturing him in your mind’s eyes. “Night, beautiful.”

“Night S’toru.”

Two hearts are alone but still connected, as both wonder what the exhaustion of tomorrow would hold, and beyond the doubt, they hope.

I know this was an angsty/darker chapter, but it will get more lighthearted and will have a happy ending, but we gotta go through some rough stuff to get there (Satoru won't be a Hojo again dw lol)

Taglist: @lostfracturess @unfortunately-tia @allofffmypeaches @chiyokoemilia @makingtimemine @antisocialinlw @meg3mis @miizuzu @nanasukii28 @zoeyflower @wstaley2 @bunheadusa @blue-musingss @ameliariddle @moncher-ire @jkslaugh97 @shadeowz @gojo1228 @nanasukii28 @jaeminaur @httpstoyosi @angel1of-death @seeing-stars-alt @bol0-de-morang0 @jjknanamin @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @trishiepo0 @inthedarkshadows000 @gina239 @san-it-is-i-guess @pelicanpizza @gojo1228 @ducky1232 @inthedarkshadows000 @eclecticmentalitypersona @burguhndy @levislug @addehehe @sluttyofgojo @msniks @xixflower @n1vi Perma tags: @alt--er--love @cuntphoric @loafteaw @indiewritesxoxo @harutahake @jinjen

[mask131]

I am re-reading the Silmarillion, and something strikes me. The women of Tolkien's world have been talked about TO DEATH especially with all the recurring debates surrounding the Rings of Power series.

As we all know, Tolkien was not a "feminist" in the modern sense of the word. He had a very male-centric point of view and appreciation of the world, he had male-driven and male-centered stories, and actual women characters were sparse and rare. There are only five really big female characters in "The Lord of the Rings" - the quintet of Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. [No, don't talk to me about Arwen, she only really was a character in the movies, in the book she's just there in the appendix and she was literaly an afterthought of Tolkien to act as Eowyn's romantic double...]

Consider this. Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. This tells you everything you need to know about Tolkien's women, in good and bad.

The Silmarillion has the same motif of having a lot of female characters, only for most of them to be just footnotes, secondary characters with no lines, under-developped one-liners... with in a contrast a handful of super-cool, super-badass, complex and developed heroines at the center of the plot.

Aka, on the bad side, when listing the Valar, while Tolkien gives an interesting personality, great domains and cool attributes to all the male ones, half of the female ones are just... there. And do one stuff. And never appear again. I mean come on... Vana and Nessa? Estë and Vairë were done dirty... That's the actual type of "non-feminism" Tolkien has. It isn't about him hating women or trying to be offensive in his depictions - it is about him just, not putting as much thought, effort and care into his female characters as his male ones, a bit the same way he creates the vast expanses of the East and South of Middle-Earth and then never bothers actually developing more of it or seeking to tell tales of it - but that's for another discussion about Tolkien's "racism". Here we talk about women.

But here's the thing, aka the good side... When Tolkien does find the time and care to develop and flesh out a female character, by Iluvatar he goes all out! Again, we are back on what I said earlier: the women of Lord of the Rings can be counted on one hand... but these fingers are Galadriel, Eowyn and Shelob, so you can't claim he isnt writing powerful, important or uninterestng female characters. Which leads me to my original remark - as usual I get driven away in digressions of all sorts and kinds.

Have you ever noticed that Melkor's greatest enemies, the ones he fears the most, and his most effective foes... are women? Tolkien might not like to put them front and center of his tales, and he might have been a man of the early 20th century England in culture and mind, but boy does he has something to say about how women are actually the first enemies of the literal embodiment of evil and destruction! I mean think about it. Varda of the Stars, and Yavanna of the trees. Nienna has her ambiguous relationship to him - her tears work against him, and yet without her plea for him he likely would not have been released from the dungeons of Mandos. You have Melian with her Girdle, and Luthien with her Hound. And of course most of all Arien, guardian of the Sun, not only one of the rare fire spirits that Melkor couldn't corrupt (despite him basically ruling over all fire), but that frightens him so much he keeps hiding away and doesn't even dare to attack her... [I also reblogged some times ago a post praising the brilliance of Tolkien keeping the old European sun-moon motifs but switching the genders. The weaker, inconsistant, lustful, whimsical, disorderly, untrustworthy Moon is now a male principle, while the steady, dangerous, strong, powerful and beautiful Sun is a woman.]

It is actually REALLY easy to do a feminist retelling of Tolkien's work. Melkor doesn't fear Manwë as much as Varda. Aulë's works and servants get corrupted by Melkor, while Yavanna's do not. Melian and Luthien actively works against him. He friggin' pisses himself when the Woman of the Sun shows up. Sure, there are some evil female characters that serve him down the line and are relegated to the "obscure footnotes and undescribed secondary characters" zone - Thuringwethil the vampire or queen Beruthiel. I coul also dropped deleted characters from early drafts, like the ogress Fluithuin. But among them stands Ungoliant... THE only true female big bad on the dark side of Arda. THE badass, nightmarish, creepy eldritch abomination. And who ends up double-crossing Melkor, almost KILLING him, and again making him basically shit in his pants - as Varda and Arien do.

The first enemies of Morgoth are not the Valar, or the Maiar, or the Elves... It's women.

[siriuslylantsov]

cold comfort

pairing: james wilson x reader

description: wilson keeps you warm on a cold day.

tags: fluff! sickfic, gn!reader, idiots inlove??? we dont know yet, professional boundries are being blatantly ignored

a/n: its cold and im sick and im projecting. james wilson come hold me. first house md fic!! idk if ive got his characterisation down yet but heres smth while i figure that out!

wc: 1k

there's a considerable amount of space between the two of you on the couch. you could be contagious, who knows? 

the food grows cold on the table as you not so covertly suffer. your nose is clogged and you're convinced if you speak up now, your voice will come out a croak, the result of a phlegmy throat.

wilson had showed up at your front door, chicken soup and loaf of sourdough in hand. a puzzled look from you had prompted a response, “you need the carbs…” he said glancing down at the bread, to your lingering confusion he continued. “oh! cuddy told me you took a sick day so i wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“i can make you hot chocolate?” he added, an offer to get you to let him in.

a little dumbstruck, you moved so he could walk in. he wanted to check on you. on you? he'sa doctor, you rationalise, this is his nature, to take care of people.

after you eat, wilson makes you that cup he promised and you quietly nurse it, humming in appreciation as the liquid soothes your throat. he lets out a small chuckle, taking a sip subsequently. he takes your mug out of your hand when you’re finished and sets it on the table along with his.

what now? 

without the hot chocolate the cold returns and despite the sweatshirt you have on and the blanket wrapped around you, you shiver, quite violently. the thermostat in your apartment was acting up and you haven't got around to getting it fixed. what convenient timing that it would choose so in the dead of winter and while you're sick.

wilson frowns, deep brown eyes troubled. “c’mere,” he beckons, arms outstretched.

“nuh-uh i’ll get you sick,” you refuse, letting out a hiss as a chill passes up your back down to your arms, flesh erupting in goosebumps.

“i've got a great immune system.”

liar. you crawl over anyway. his jacket is off, and you settle against his side. god, he's warm. his arm loops around you and pulls you so the distance that you intentionally left between you in lieu of decency was closed. your knees are lightly digging into his thighs but he doesn't mind. he rubs your back in soothing passes and you slump your head against his shoulder.

“how are you so warm?” you whisper, throwing the blanket over his lap. 

“not sure,” he murmurs absentmindedly, looking down at you. “is this okay?”

“perfect.”

you don't know why he’s here, you’ve only known him for five months, after having got a job at ppth as cuddy's assistant. to which he was grateful for–she needs a load off, works too much. the job isn't so much as filing paperwork and looking over records, in particular the diagnostics department, it isn't that much but it apparently made the world of difference. you see him often, greeting you with a sweet smile and a hello as he crosses the threshold to cuddy's office, in the cafeteria when you happen to be there at the same time, in the hallways and so on. you realise now that you've never actually been alone with the man but here you are, curled into him like your own personal heater. why is he here?

“um… i just wanted to make sure that you were alright, consider it a friend checking up on a friend. but if you don't want me here, i can leave,” he murmurs, extremely patient. with growing mortification you realise you said that out loud, stupid.

you quickly pull your head back, so fast you might give yourself whiplash. “no! god- i'm sorry. i do want you here. i'm sorry i didn't mean that. i-” you give up with a long sigh as you meet his eye, amused. 

you stare at him a bit more, the light is dim, attest to your now fading migraine but you can see his face clearly. beautiful. 

“wait- we’re friends?” you stammer out, a little weak. 

“i’d like to think so,” he answers simply, like it ever is that simple. james wilson does not have friends, except for house, so why is he here? with you? he’d been asking himself that question all night. “i wouldn’t just do this for anyone.”

you look at him again, and he wants to fall apart, you’re thoughtful in the way you study him, a little sniffly but thoughtful nonetheless. you plant your head back on his shoulder, melt onto him, significantly more comfortable. it only took the third round of reassurance to get you to break, he’ll remember that for next time.

“i think you would,” you speak again after a moment of silence, “do this for anyone, i mean. you’re an incredibly selfless person, james. i am surprised you’re here but a little part of me says i shouldn't be.”

“yeah?” he tilts his head so his lips graze your hair, the movement is subtle but you can feel it, and it reverberates everywhere. 

“yeah.” 

you shift closer to him, craving his warmth. he pulls your legs over his lap, allowing you to properly settle yourself without any discomfort. this is definitely crossing boundaries–those unspoken, keep your co-workers at arm's length, be professional–but you’re friends now, so it's allowed. right?

his hand returns to rubbing your back and you melt even further if that's possible. his free hand falls into your lap, twitching slightly but doing nothing otherwise. leaving it to you. 

you trace a circle over the knuckle of his middle finger before taking his hand in yours. cold fingertips press into his palm and he squeezes, trying to get them warm. he hauntingly settles on wanting to keep you warm and snug for however long you’ll let him. 

the both of you look down, your fingers playing with his, running the pad of your thumb down the length of each of them, down a prominent vein on the back of his hand. you hug it to your chest, head dipping so you can kiss his knuckles. he blinks.

“thank you,” you whisper, so quiet that if he wasn't as close to you as he was, he wouldn't hear you. 

he kisses your hairline in response, light, lingering. his lips burn. “you’re welcome.”

yeah, right. friends. 

[dailynnt]

CAPTIVE OF HIS ATTENTION

♡ Summary: You're an art and design student at Seoul National University, trying to maintain your independence and focus on your studies. Your peaceful life is shattered when you meet Jungkook , a charismatic, stubborn, and unpredictable guy who pairs up with you for a group project. He starts to annoy you by challenging your principles. Jungkook, who loves to be the center of attention, uses his charming and playful nature to play with your feelings and control the situation. You are constantly trying not to succumb to his manipulations, but gradually you find that his influence on you is becoming stronger and stronger. The relationship between you is a game of power, desire, and sensation, where each tries to leave their mark without letting the other take over completely. But will you be able to maintain your independence, or will Jungkook eventually make you his?

♡ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

♡ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

♡ Age restrictions: 18+

♡ Relationships: ⚤

♡ Number of part: SNEAK PEEK

♡ Tags: university life, students, from enemies to lovers, everyday life, mild longing, sex, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, smoking, profanity, tags will be added as the story progresses

♡ From the author: Guys, I want to share with you the announcement of my new project when I finish working on Friends within Touching Distance. This is an interesting idea that came to me while reading the comic. This story is also supposed to be a series, but I don't know how many parts it will be. I would appreciate any feedback, but also please let me know in the comments if you like my idea 🙏🏻🥹💜

♡ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

SNEAK PEEK

The library was quiet, filled only with the soft rustle of pages turning and keyboards clicking. In the farthest corner, where time seemed to stand still, Jungkook and you sat down at a table. Your determination to complete the project was evident in every movement, while he seemed to have come here just to pass the time.

“It's a great place,” he said, stretching his words. “Quiet, cozy. I'd even say it's perfect for... sitting and a little sleep.”

You put the papers down, looking at him reproachfully.

“Do you really think it’s work like that? If you don't make an effort, I'll just not put your name on the project.”

Jungkook smiled, leaning slightly toward you.

“And then what? Aren't you afraid that I'll convince the dean and my name will be there without question? I'm sure this project will be the best in the class. And it's all thanks to me.”

You sighed, unfolding your notes.

“Your reputation speaks for itself. I think the dean will be more likely to believe me.”

His eyes sparkled and he laughed.

“You sure know how to hold your own, Y/N. It's kind of fun.”

You didn't answer, staring at your laptop. Your fingers moved quickly over the keyboard, and your gaze remained stern and focused.

Jungkook propped his hand on his cheek and began to look at you. In the soft light of the lamp, your features seemed almost perfect: your dark blonde hair was carelessly tied back in a ponytail, and a few strands were playfully falling over your face. Your lips, slightly pursed from concentration, looked as if they might say something harsh at any moment.

You looked pretty sexy. Your figure was attractive. Jungkook looked at your breasts and noticed that they were the perfect size for him. He would like to see them without all these clothes you are wearing. Trying them to taste. How could he not notice you before? You are full in his taste.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he suddenly asked, not looking away.

You froze, your hands stopped on the keyboard.

“Do you care?” you answered dryly, not looking up.

He leaned closer, almost crossing the invisible line between you.

“I would say yes. I'm wondering what kind of guy you would choose. Probably some bookworm who also likes to sit in libraries?”

You looked up and your eyes sparkled.

“It’s none of your business at all.”

Jungkook smiled wider, noticing you blush slightly. Your ears turned red, and that only fueled his curiosity.

“Why are you blushing, Han? Did I make you think something? Did you imagine me as your boyfriend?”

You immediately turned away, hiding behind your laptop screen.

“You're too confident. You're not attractive enough for me to think of you as my boyfriend, Jeon.”

He laughed again, but this time his voice was lower, more intimate.

“And you seem to know how to make me interested.”

His words sounded as if he were challenging you. Your heart beat faster, but you forced yourself to remain calm.

“If you think that such tricks work on me, you are mistaken,” you replied, trying to sound cold.

Jungkook leaned back, looking at you with satisfaction.

“We'll see.” He said quietly.

He realized that you were not like the others. Your reaction to him gave him a strange desire to test you even more. Girls always fall for his words easily, not to mention those who goes wet at the mere sight of him. But you are different, you are cold and indifferent to him. But does it ever happen?

The sexual tension between you has become almost palpable.

Jungkook moved his chair to sit as close to you as possible, pretending to be interested in what you were typing on your laptop. His hand barely touched the table next to you, and it made you tense.

“What are you writing there that's so serious? Maybe I should contribute to the project so you can put my name on it?” he asked calmly, leaning in so close that you could feel his warm breath on your neck.

“I'm trying to finish the introduction,” you answered briefly, not looking up, but your fingers slowed on the keyboard.

“Introduction?” he repeated, as if savoring the word.

Jungkook leaned even closer, almost touching your face. His perfume-with notes of fresh citrus and wood-filled the space around him. He was so close that you could no longer ignore his presence.

“You're too close,” you said dryly, moving away slightly, but not being able to go far, there were only a few centimeters between them.

“Don't you like it?” his voice was quieter, almost a whisper, but that only made him more intriguing. His handsome face was so close that you could see it in every detail. Black eyes like two buttons that looked at you slyly. Long, thick eyelashes. A mole under the lip, which is now clearly visible, lips with a bow with a loose lower lip. They had an attractive pink color. They glistened slightly, as if he had licked them beforehand.

He tilted his head as if he were looking at the screen, but he was actually peripheral vision watching you with a studying gaze. You turned back to the laptop screen, your ears still slightly pink and your lips pursed as if you were trying not to react. You felt him leaning down to your ear, going down to the jaws and taking a quiet, deep breath.

“You know,” he says, “you smell so good.”

You froze, trying to remain calm, but your cheeks betrayed you again, turning even more rosy. You move a few centimeters away and quickly said:

“Will you just move away and stop violating my personal space?”

Jungkook laughed, leaning back a little, but his eyes never left your face.

“You're blushing really cute. It's even nicer than I imagined.” you looked at him angrily.

“You have no respect for other people's boundaries, do you?”

“I respect,” he replied with a smile, “it's just that with you I want to violate them a little.”

His words made you feel confused for a moment. Your heart was pounding, and you hated yourself for letting him influence you even a little. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and put all your emotions aside.

“If you're not going to work, then I can work alone. But you remember what I said,” you looked at him sternly, “then your name will definitely not appear in this project.”

Jungkook smiled again, but this time his smile was a little warmer than usual.

“Okay, I guess I'll have to work a little harder if I want you to keep reacting to me like this.”

“React?” you asked again, raising an eyebrow. “My only reaction is to want to finish the project and never work with you again.”

Jungkook tilted his head as if he was seriously thinking and whispered, leaning into your ear:

“Let's see how long you can stay away.”

His words sent a chill down your spine, and although you pretended not to be affected, Jungkook noticed your breathing become a little faster.

He leaned back, pleased with himself, and took his phone out of his pocket.

“All right, partner. Where do you want to start?”

Feeling your heart beating wildly, you turned back to your laptop, trying to focus on your work.

You knew that working on this project was going to be a living hell for you. And Jungkook would be your main torturer.

[kooksvspogues]

Good Outcomes Maybe?

Part 1

JJMaybank x BlakelyRoutledge

Authors note: Feedback is always greatly appreciated! Thanks to each and every one of you for all your support you’ve given me. Love you guys! 💗

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since John B and JJ have been inseparable since third grade, I basically grew up having two brothers that gave me a hard time any chance they got but gave hell to anybody else that tried. Having both of them around was both a blessing and a curse at times, but they did keep life interesting to say the least.

The whole gang was currently sitting around the porch of the chateau talking about the plan for the night. I had my legs swung over JJ’s lap while my head was in Kie’s.

“I don’t understand why we don’t just go to the beach party tonight” I say

“Because not all of them like us like they like you, remind me again, how did you pull that off?” John B asked

“I don’t know, I just don’t give in to the whole pogues vs kooks thing. We’re all people, have respect” I defend

“It’s cause your sisters hot, bro” JJ says taking a chug from his beer as John B sends him a death glare making all of us laugh

“And I’m not?” John B asks trying to pose sexy

“Oh yeah, the sexiest mother fucker on the island” JJ sarcastically agrees

“J, that’s you, remember?” I tease sarcastically sitting up and placing my hand on his arm sweetly, winking at him, as he places his hand on my leg looking at me in a sarcastic awe

“I hate when y’all do that” John B says acting like he’s gonna puke

“And that’s exactly why we do it” I tease as he rolls his eyes

“I hate you” John B says

“So beach party?” I ask looking around the group

“I’m always down for some pogue vs kook action” JJ says as I swat at his arm giving him a warning glare

“One hint of something sketchy, we’re leaving” John B says

“Where’s Sarah anyways?” Kie asks

“Should be here any minute” He says smiling at us

“Can you remind me again why I can’t date a kook since you are?” I ask cocking an eyebrow at John B

“Um because you have me first off” JJ cuts in

“Shut up J, and because, I don’t need you dating somebody like Rafe, Topper, Kelce, or any of those scumbags, find a decent one and we’ll talk” John B says

“Rafe is temping, not gonna lie” I admit

“Blakely, what the fuck, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that, that dude is fucking insane” Kie asks looking at me

“I’m jokinnnn, but you know he’s gotta be kinky” I joke making everyone groan

“I got all the kinkiness you need, right here” JJ jokes reaching over and squeezing my thigh making John B’s eyes bug out

“On that note, I’m out” Pope says walking into the house

“Dude, chill, that’s my sister” John B threatens coming over to slap his hand away making me and JJ laugh

“He hates us” I say laughing leaning my head on JJ’s shoulder

“So much” he chuckles taking another sip

That’s the relationship JJ and I have had for a few years now, I guess we found out we could flirt and be lovey dovey enough with each other to get by and not need a hookup, that we just ran with it. Plus, it’s great when trying to aggravate John B, cause he knows it’s all jokes regardless. Don’t get me wrong, JJ is amazing, would totally go for him but I don’t think that would go over too well. Sometimes I wonder if all the joking is completely jokes or if there is some seriousness on both ends. No line is ever really crossed cause we just laugh it all off, I mean cause obviously it wouldn’t work, especially with the no pogue on pogue macking rule, except for a few games we’ve played, and the fact that it would be John B’s sister and best friend.

“Hey guys” Sarah says walking up the steps

“Hey babe” John B says walking over to her giving her a kiss

“So what are we doing tonight?” She asks

“Beaaaach party!” I yell reaching over to pull the joint away from JJ’s lips and in between mine, keeping eye contact with him as he breaths out. “Dont look at me like that Maybank” I warn

“Or what princess?” he says sitting up and leaning closer to me

“Jay, what the fuck” John B says making me and JJ laugh and John B reaches over and pulls me off the couch and pushes me towards the door, “go!” He tells me making me laugh but JJ starts to stand up, “you sit!” John B tells him

“Johnny, she’s got my joint, that shit wasn’t cheap” JJ says as I turn around, sticking my tongue out at him, running inside when he starts coming after me before John B stops him as I laugh behind the screen door.

~~~~~~ beach party ~~~~~~

When we get to the party, I immediately make my ways towards the free booze, and of course bumping into the kook king along the way.

“Hey, there’s my favorite little pogue princess” Rafe says pulling me into his arms

“Hey Rafe” I say pulling away, “how are you?”

“I’ve been good, taking over the family business, how are you, your little gang here?” He ask taking a sip of his drink looking around.

“Yeah, they’re somewhere, and I’m good, just wanting to get a drink” I inform him

“Come here, I’ll give ya the good shit” he says pulling me over to a fire where Barry was sitting with a few other people.

“Country club and pogue princess, what a mix” Barry says giving me a wink

“Fix her up man, on me” Rafe tells him keeping his hand on my back, “what ya want?”

“I thought we were getting alcohol” I laugh

“He’s got some heavier alcohol with him, but he’s got the normal too” Rafe smiles

“I’ll take some weed annnd ya got some tequila and whiskey?” I ask Barry

“Ice cold” Barry smiles at me pulling the bottle out of his ice chest along with a little baggy of weed.

“Thanks Barry” I smile up at him

“Welcome princess” he says as me and Rafe walk back towards a tree that had fell, sitting on it.

“You know, I really don’t understand why you still hang out with all of the pogues, we all love having you on this side of the island” Rafe says

“We’ve talked about this” I tell him pulling the cap off the bottle of whiskey taking a swig

“I know, but I’m serious, you fit in here, your the only pogue I actually care about” Rafe admits

“Well thanks but, the cut will always be home. Maybe one day, you’ll decide to be patient with all of us and not just me” I say

“I wouldn’t count on it princess” he says

“Yeah yeah” I laugh, “do I owe you anything for this?” I ask

“I’ll take a kiss as payment” he smirks, looking up at me.

“You’re ridiculous” I laugh

“You like it” he winks

“You wish, come here asshole” I laugh pulling him towards me, kissing his lips. Rafe placed his hand on the side of my neck to not only keep me in place, but to make the kiss deeper as I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip asking for entrance. I pat his chest and pull away.

“When you wanna give one of us men a chance, let me know” he winks as I playfully push his chest

“One of us men as in what? A kook?” I ask

“Well yes ma’am, let somebody spoil you” he smiles

“Awe” I say walking over to stand between his legs, running my hand over his buzzed head, “maybe if you weren’t a killer, I would, but like you said, I wouldn’t count on it” I say tapping his cheek walking away backwards watching as his eyes darkened on me

“Sometimes I really hate you” he yells over at me

“Hey, this is progress, you’re not running after me, I’m proud!” I say loud enough only he can hear me.

“Go on you little shit head” he says laughing making me laugh

“Hope to see you never, country club” I smile raising the two bottles of alcohol towards him before turning around and trying to find the pogues.

When I found everybody, I handed them the bottles, trying to find JJ, “wheres Jay?” I ask Kie

“Last I seen, he went over that way” she says pointing towards the trees, that were close by where me and Rafe were.

I eased my way over there and went to looking for him, I heard a quiet moan before I finally seen him. Pushing some blonde girl up against the tree, kissing her.

I felt my heart drop and shatter into a million pieces.. why do I feel like this? We’re just friends so why do I feel like I need to throw up right now. I feel my heart pound against my chest and everything just felt numb besides the pounding and the nausea. I turn around and run towards the ocean, immediately throwing up.

“You good princess?” I look up to see Barry walking over

“Yeah” I claim, mainly for myself than him.

“Cmon, I got some water” he says urging me to john him at his little fire which I quickly agree, going to sit on the log he was previously sitting on, waiting as he pulled the bottled water out of the ice chest handing it to me.

“Thank you” I mumble

“No problem” Barry says, “need me to grab country club?” He asks

“Can you find Kie or Sarah?” I plead and he nods standing up and walking off. I eventually see Sarah and Kie walking towards me quickly.

“You okay babe?” Sarah asks

“Yeah, I just think I’m ready to go home” I say

“You sure? You’re the main reason we came” Kie says

“Yea, I’m sorry”

“No no it’s okay, I just wanna make sure nothing happened, not like you to leave a party early” She said rubbing my back.

“First time for everything I guess” I chuckle glancing up, seeing JJ and the blonde girl coming back to the party.

“You want us to go with you?” Sarah asks

“No, y’all stay, have fun, I see a few people heading out, I’ll catch a ride with them” I say knowing I just planned on walking

“You sure?” They ask and I smile up at them nodding

“Positive, I’ll text you when I get home” I assure them as we all stand up, them walking back towards where the boys were and me heading towards the street. As I get closer to where all the cars are parked, I come to a stop when I hear my name being yelled. I turn around and find Rafe walking towards me

“You okay? Barry said he seen you throwing up” he says

“Yeah, just ready to go home” I answer

“The pogues not going with you?” He asks

“No, I told them to stay” I say

“How are you getting home?” He asks

“My feet” I answer

“Alright smartass” he laughs, “I was about to head out anyways, just let me take you home” he says

“I couldn’t ask you to do that” I say

“You’re not asking, I’m offering, I’d much rather know you were home safe and not still on the road” he says urging me forward to walk towards his truck

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” I ask

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to” he says as I roll my eyes

“Okay, but no funny business Cameron” I say pointing at him walking towards his truck.

“Yes ma’am, no funny business” he says going to open the passenger door for me waiting for me to climb in. When I look up, I can faintly make out JJ looking our way, when Rafe gets in the driver seat, I watch JJ shake his head and look down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[silverview]

sorry, i should've been more clear – i was not suggesting additions, i was just listing my favourite things from your collection! i'd found the link to the truth & movies interview in this very document! and i've now snipped out the relevant part to be enjoyed on its own <3

i've been completely nerding out about In the Earth since i bought the dvd that does not have bonus features so i have compiled a list of interviews and fun facts and behind the scenes pictures and stuff; it is only a very surface level googling so there isn't much!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FAauwLjGFN96BoYJBksjefGVeHxowswP9uu7bajgZN8/edit#heading=h.mol22qb57q0x

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[kindahoping4forever]

📸: Ryan Fleming

[thegreatgatzbi]

trying out some minor changes to gatsby's design. Im not quite settled on some features but generally i want him to have a softer fame and frame. i want him to have blonde/light brown curly hair, but it blends in with his skin too much i feel, so i still am working that out.

[marlynnofmany]

Lookie what I got! The rarest of collector's editions, with only one in existence! (There's an @ symbol in place of a © on the title page.)

(There's only one because I fixed it after I ordered my proof copy.)

Someday this will be very valuable, for sure!

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

alright. know what? with Secrets of the Obscure right around the corner and plenty of new Mists-related sky island settings coming with it, I'll just bite the bullet and interest-check a little something I've been turning in my head for a long, long while.

would YOU be interested in a Mists-based GW2 roleplay guild that uses a lore compliant multiverse system to allow canon, canon-adjacent, lore-breaking, and otherwise 'contradictory' muses to coexist in the same setting?

simply put: every writer's cast would be set in their own self-contained universe. as such, everyone could bring whatever muses they want with their own personal headcanons, and no one could dictate what is or isn't canon for anyone else. so long as your muses are GW2-based, you're good to go! bring your Commanders, bring your canon-divergent OCs, bring your canon muses-- and yes, even the ones that are 'supposed' to be dead. who can say what might have happened in a strange world far across the Mists, after all?

neutral hubs and in-character safety guardrails would be in place to keep all muses on a relatively even playing field regardless of their power, history, and prestige, too. play hardball if you like, but it might not end quite the way you'd hope. the main rule would be to maintain good OOC etiquette at all times: no godmodding, no metagaming, no theft, don't blend IC and OOC, and so-on.

if that sounds like something you might have interest in, please interact with this post! and if you've got questions or concerns, I'd love to hear them; feel free to send an ask or a DM, or just reply to this post!

[sinnettini]

are you catholic? i wouldn't have said so

anon 😭😭 i'm not trying to make fun of you and i'm taking this as a compliment actually but i don't know how to tell you this... i'm literally italian 😭

but seriously, i've grown up catholic yeah, but i don't believe in god and haven't taken part in anything religious in many years. i would say i'm like culturally catholic tho. and technically still catholic to the eyes of the church bc baptism and all that

[purple--queen]

Every day i check the Moonhawk tag like a fridge in the hope that something new appeared.

[exoexid]

the suyeol lore is so crazy

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

My latest project is done! I busted my butt (and had to get my Dude's - @super-ultra-mega-kami-guru-blog - help) to get it done on time. But the customer went home happy, and we got a nice tip! ヾ(@^▽^@)ノ

The weather has been weird - fluctuating between too hot already - and normal temps. I hate climate change. I just want more rain.Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

Got trigger point shots in my neck again. I'm in some pain today because instead of resting yesterday, I worked. Boooo.(⑅ ‘﹃’ )

My squash and cucumber plants are growing so fast! I'm super excited for fresh garden veg!“ψ(｀∇´)ψ

The city pool opens this week, so now my schedule will get busier, due to adding water aerobics to it.ヾ(@°▽°@)ノ

Being your own boss, and giving yourself permission to have a long weekend is nice! ♡*(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡⋆*ೃ:.✧