#you are allowed to love someone and still see their flaws; nobody is perfect

[bkgrl]

I think that the fact that I only like Katchako is because I love to make up stories in my head about Bkg having a crush on Uraraka but she likes Izuku (in this au-ish world because you can't tell me that she isn't un lobe with Toga. Impossible). Is disturbing 🤔.

And then our little pomeranian has to go through the phase where he realizes that karma is real because life is really flipping him off by giving deku everything that he always wanted and more; the number 1 spot, All Might's love and teaching, the girl he's had a crush on since their first fight, a strong quirk, people's love ( in my head *again, yes* when they become pro's everyone is rather wary of dynamite and his bad temper, making him the least liked one *if you omit the fan-girls* out of all new pro's, even monoma is more liked and it hurts ).

So here we have Katsuki Bakugou battling with the filling of shame, anger of envy ( emotions he knows all too well ), and a young boy torn between truly apologizing to his childhood best friend and trying to mend things ( even though he knows it will never be the same; he told him to kill himself, for god's sake ) or to loath him and avoid him for the rest of his life like he always did...

Anyways I hope you all are getting used to my random dissaperences and returns 😅

[marshmallowprotection]

How...well will the RFA react to stretchmarks in the chest area? I'm starting to get them and it's making me super conscious;;;

Jaehee understands firsthand what you're feeling. Woman never hear the end of it when it comes to beauty standards, and unfortunately, it never gets easier as you make your way through life. Standards shift and what's "beautiful" changes with the times, so it's better not to sit back and believe you're never going to good enough when things can change at the flip of a hat. Jaehee has learned it's better not to allow yourself to become so worked up at a standard that destroys people, look away from it, and learn how to embrace yourself instead. You're beautiful just the way you are, but she also intimately knows even by choosing that, you're still going to have bad days.

Any particular flaw you see in yourself is something you can talk to her about. She'll know where you're coming from. She certainly is in a similar place when it comes to appearance, given how Jumin pushed her to change her looks to avoid attention from Chairman Han. In trying to protect her from his father, he still ended up making her feel low about her appearance. It’s not Jaehee who needed to change. It's Chairman Han. Don't feel bad about your stretch marks, it's a mark of time, and those marks are a sign that you're living life and getting to grow older with each passing day.

There is beauty in accepting those spots that come with age. If you want to do something about them to feel better, that's fine, but Jaehee won't tell you to change yourself to fit some standard. She did that for her job, and it never made her feel any better.

Yoosung gets down on his appearance sometimes... especially when he looks at Jumin or Zen. They seem to have everything he doesn't in the looks department, and it's hard not to compare himself even if he knows better. He couldn't blame you for feeling insecure when he has that fear all the time. He's seen beauty campaigns that are targeted at people who are insecure, but they don't always make him feel any better, and he imagines he might be the same for you. What can he do to make you feel better when you frown at your reflection?

You're beautiful, and he never hesitates to place his hands on your body when you gleefully tell him you want to be touched. He's the clumsiest when it comes to comforting another person, but he makes up for it in his honesty.

He might stumble over his words in trying to reassure you, but it's the fact that he tries and he means every word he says that makes it better. You talk about the things you're both insecure about together, and in doing so, feel far more confident in confessing what haunts you. He'll kiss those marks and you'll brush away his tears.

Zen knows what the beauty standard can do to someone. He's been harassed, touched, provoked, and worse his entire life because he's what people consider to be good-looking. Nobody ever respected his sense of autonomy, and it made him fearful of being close to others for the longest time, even though he had dreams of being someone who could sign as brilliantly as a star. He's seen what the industry is capable of, too. He knows how easily someone can tear down others because of a "perceived flaw" built on some nonsense idea of what's "perfect."

By God, he never wants you to hate your body because of what other people say about it... not even what you may say about your body in a daze of self-contempt. You don't have to change yourself to be loved by others, and you don't have to be afraid of having your body shift and change with time, because that's what it's meant to do.

If anyone in the tabloids dared to speak about you, he'd make sure they'd pay for it. He doesn't care about what people say about him anymore, but you? No way. It's okay to be insecure, but he doesn't want to see that shame eat you alive. You're beautiful, and these spots show that you've lived as you were meant to. Everyone gets lines, wrinkles, or what have you, and you deserve to feel good when you look in a mirror. Here comes the compliments juxtaposed with kisses.

Jumin understands insecurities. He's got some himself but most would never believe that given his stance in life. That's one of the many reasons why he doesn't talk about how he's feeling. He's well aware that he has privilege in life and many people don't. But, this makes him discount his feelings and experience when they should never be belittled in the first place. He just thinks his problems are less important than someone who isn't as fortunate as he is. That's something he has to work on.

Sigh. But, he knows where you're coming from when you struggle to confess that you have a poor image of yourself. He doesn't think of you any differently than he did before. He'll explain that it's normal and even expected to have stretchmarks at some point in your life, but there's no reason to feel bad about them when it's an experience you won't go through alone. That's his logical mind at work, so you'll have to nudge him when he's thinking too factually instead of within the realm of emotion.

He means well, that's how he comforts himself, after all. But if he can do anything to help you feel better? He'll listen. That's the one thing about him I admire. He listens when he's not doing something the best way for another person, and he'll keep trying until he gets it right for you. Even if he doesn't know what to say, you don't need to worry too hard, he will absolutely open his arms so you can cry into them for a little while. Sometimes, that's all you need. 

Saeyoung has had his own struggles with his body image, you know. He looks like his father, and that's its own can of worms that he does not like to think about. His only comfort is that he and Saeran share a face as well, so it doesn't always feel as bad. It doesn't stop his fear of becoming his father someday, but it does ease his mind. So, if you've got a look on your face that says you're terrified about something, he knows that feeling all too well. He just hates that something got into your head and made you feel like you were ugly because of a natural occurrence.

Saeyoung views signs of aging as a blessing, you know? When he looks at you and he sees that you've been able to live your life this far, he smiles because it means he's been able to make it this far, too. He never thought he'd make it this long, and here he is, aging with you a little bit every day, and he's going his own marks and blemishes that'll never go away. He's okay with that, but he knows this is different for you. You don't need him to tell you to ignore the sting, you need him to hold and remind you you're lovely with or without stretchmarks. It doesn't change how he sees you, after all.

Do you want to cover those spots to feel better? Or, do you feel like you need to cover them so people don't judge you? He's willing to do whatever he can to help you feel better, so once he knows how you're feeling and what's the route cause, he's quick on his feet to help you boost that confidence. He'll show off his body without fear if that'll help you in any way, you know!

[dangermousie]

To me, this sequence is the crux of why Xie Wei is the endgame for JXN in terms of suitability - in terms of someone who allows her to be most at peace with herself and live happily. It's not just because with ZZ, she will always strive for an ideal and hide the "uglier" parts of herself. It's because as others pointed out - she needs to learn to love herself and she is mired in guilt around him - but also, XW doesn't just see her the way she is and loves that, he is also someone who is determined, obsessed even, with looking forward not back.

In some ways, he's the most driven by the past out of all the characters (he wants justice/vengeance for what happened during the siege, this is his cause) but that's the thing - his attitude is "this horrific thing has happened, it cannot be changed, now we will figure out how to deal with this and address it" (which in his case is a lot of murder :P) is something JXN needs - she's been trying to change the past emotionally, as well as physically and I think she needs to accept that she is irretrievably changed, you can't unring the bell, you can't make her pure naive girl who (in her belief system) is worthy of ZZ (btw any relationship where you constantly work to be worthy of the other person is unhealthy at best and doomed at worst), you can just move forward, in whatever way possible.

In a way, what he says here is quite straightforward and in keeping with his "moving forward" attitude - if you can't let go, don't. Her guilt won't allow her to hear that.

Lady, he talks a good talk but he's already 85% to losing control over you.

And that is when all red flags that did not manifest before, manifested, in terms of that relationship. ZZ is a good man, probably the best of the characters. But any relationship where you are doing Jesus and Mary Magdalene imitation, viewing someone as literally flawless, as someone who shouldn't be touched by anything even if you tear out your heart, because you are so unworthy is not a romantic relationship, that's a medieval nun's attitude to her God. No go in real life. It wouldn't work and if somehow it did, would never make her truly happy. JXN should be in a relationship not even of mutual pedestals but being seen and seeing the other person as messy flawed being but still worthy of love.

I laughed. I adore XW but what he knows about people's hearts in terms of romance is equivalent to a turnip.

Time-out for haaaaaaands!

And despite my snark, it's not a turnip of an answer at all, it's perfect (I think he's terrible at telling his own heart but not others.) That is what she needs to hear - as I mentioned - not ignoring what's in the past but moving on.

I love it so much!!! And I love that he's genuinely heartbroken for her pain and just wants to fix it - there is none of that "my chance is here" attitude.

It's an angsty moment but I giggled because I remembered wailing after my first high school boyfriend dumped me "I am never going to love anyone like this! I could never find someone like this!" Spoiler - I was wrong :P (And probably wouldn't be able to pick the guy out of a line-up now.)

But, more importantly, I was screaming into my hands, when he said "find someone more suitable." Not just because this is XW in a nutshell - he accepts the situation as it is, no arguing with the premise and offers a different solution (nobody is better? OK, accepted, then how do we deal in this situation) but because this is the crux of the OTP. What JXN (and every other person looking for a partner) needs in this world is not the person who is the smartest or saintliest or w/e, they need the most suitable person for them, whoever that is, to be happy. Objectively saintly ZZ is not particularly suitable for her; goodness is not happiness, not always, and she needs to accept that and fully accept herself.

Yes, there will be!

[davekat-sucks]

"IF YØU H∆TE HØMESTUCK SØ MUCH WHY DØNT YØU JUST HATEMARRY IT LE∆VE?"

(I can't with this person's wannabe fucking typing quirk or smt)

Honestly, I don't think you hate Homestuck, you just see it for what it is and eventually became. And you want to point out its flaws and mistakes and what we as fans and viewers can do to improve it for ourselves and the people around us. There are just some people in this fanbase who don't even use one fucking braincell to think and develop anything, other than shipping Davekat and having horrible takes. This is one of the last few remaining safe spots in this fandom.

Even when they respond to Galaxy_Pinata, they still have to put up the shitty typing quirk. I'd say there is sort of another safe spot. But then again, 4chan isn't for everybody and Homestuck threads only appear once every HS2/Beyond Canon update due to how it was banned there. It just sucks that nobody is allowed to criticize or have a different opinion in places like here or Twitter it means someone gets harassed for saying something different. And yeah, I don't exactly hate Homestuck. I do care a lot for it and wished it was better than what we got now. People can still love their fave series while pointing out some of its flaws. There is no such thing as the ultimate perfect series.

[chatxkilluaxnoir]

Man, I really regretted looking up Undertale Characters and Undertale Sans analyses on this here site:

Like, there is a reason I avoid doing that more often than not on tumblr (and some other sites), because a lot of the time I just across takes/analyses/etc. that I just really (personally) don’t agree with and/or like.

Even by creators that I can, have, do, and/or did like, and seemingly “well-liked”/”well-accepted” and/or “popular” takes.

Disclaimer:  If you like or agree with any these takes or similar ones; that is fine, we all have different opinions.  I just tend to not really like these takes.

The takes in question.  These are just UT/DR takes and ones I have mainly come across today and fairly recently (some of these takes are actually done by fans of these characters; that doesn’t mean I like or agree with them still though (putting the rest under a “read more” cut, because this gets pretty long, and in case people don’t want to read about these takes):

“Toriel is homophobic” (just uggghh, no.  Just no).

“Sans is useless and/or serves no purpose (in the game, battle, narratively, thematically, and/or etc.)” (basically) (this, just isn’t true at all, and I really, really (like, just a lot), hate this take/these takes).

“Sans is weak” (also hate this take).

“Sans is just some guy and/or a nobody now”, because he now can’t be a badass and cool and powerful and smart (which, he is), while also being dorky and edgy and vague and a generally nuanced and a flawed person with layers.  I guess.  Not allowed.  Talk about fandom over-correction (imo).

“Toriel is just a Mom and basically has no other character traits or flaws.” pretty much (Just no and is a huge oversimplification of her character).

“Chara is abusive/Chara abused Asriel” (Chara, who is also, just a iteral child.  And someone who was probably traumatized and hurt in the past.  Chara wasn’t perfect, but to say this, I just can’t agree with it really).

“Papruys is now the strongest character in Undertale” (he is strong and powerful in his own right, but this is just unfair to the other characters, and is kind of over-stretching stuff imo.  Like some Sans take(s); I also mostly blame this on fandom over-correction).

“To make Paps interesting we now have to make him edgy” basically (less a statement, and more a trend I see sometimes).  There are many ways you can make a character interesting for instance.  And 2nd of all; why try to make a non-character edgy, when we got more actual edgy characters like Sans, Chara, Flowey/Asriel, Gaster I guess, Muffet, I guess, heck, maybe even Toriel, and/or etc.?  Not saying Paps isn’t interesting btw; he is.  Just saying some people seem to only think they can make him interesting by making him edgy.  Not even against edgy Paps completely; I’m not.  Just trying to say there are other ways to do things/you could do things.

“That somehow Flowey/Asriel (and in the case of some fan stories; Gaster too), is a better person than Sans is” (don’t get me wrong, Sans is a morally questionable/morally grey character (and I love that about him).  But the amount the shit he gets sometimes, while arguably, characters who are just as bad, worse, and/or (more) ill-intentioned than Sans get more of a pass is just like, “what?”

“Flowey did nothing wrong” basically (this comment kind of goes hand-in-hand with what I say in the previous paragraph.  I do get he is technically a child still, and he is a good character.  But like, he still did many, many things wrong).

Not really a character, just a take I didn’t agree with at all, “Undertale’s meta aspects and time travel isn’t needed and basically make the game worse, and game would have been just as good, if not better without them”, (and I am like just "????”, about those things.  Those things are so important to Undertale man, and they don’t make the game worse, they make it better.  Like, what do you even mean?)

Etc., etc.

So yeah, really didn’t like these takes at all.  And I mean, AT ALL.

Welp, at least the somewhat sour taste these left in my mouth hopefully helps me more careful while searching for and/or looking up analyses, metas, etc. on tumblr and/or etc.

I have hopefully, learned my lessons now.

[oddinary4bts]

okay ella look. this isn't a hateful ask, I just want to explain my perspective. I love your stuff

But I always see asks about how realistic CC is and I agree because people are flawed by nature nobody is perfect. but the story being real doesn't mean we aren't allowed to be angry at the characters you know. I totally get that you're protective over JK but I think at some point poor mental health isn't an excuse to fuck up anymore. I'm saying that because I also dated a guy who kissed someone "without wanting to" when we were together and that was the first disappointment and when he did something similar the second time, I was just done.

I think the reason we are angry is not because they are supposed to be perfect nobody is or because we can't see how "real" CC is, but because in real life you wouldn't forgive someone after so many times. Even if you love them, and no matter if it's his or her fault at some point you are just so done with the back and forth and the toxicity that you give this person up for your own sake and mental health (unless you keep your hopes up, but then you might be disappointed again after a while). OC doesn't deserve that and he deserves to move on too, that's all some of us are concerned about.. the story is real in a way that people do shit in real life but also enraging in a way that a lot of us wouldn't forgive so many times (or at least stop trying and move on after a while, like once hurt because of gaby, fine, twice hurt because of lisa alrighttttt but then leaving/calling it a lapse of judgement is just enough at a point and you'd need to recognize that this isn't good for your head)

you can choose to ignore this ask too. I'm not trying to be mean, just want to say what I feel. i just wanted to say what i and maybe some others think, that the angst and the hurtful twists did get a bit much with time... if the angst in this chapter was just tae getting angry it would've been different, but oc and jk fucking up again was a bit too much after all. You will say "don't read then" I know! I just want to know how it ends but I also think we're allowed to think in a way about the story/characters, even if we still love the story and your writing

and I'm not a minor (ngl this constant comment hurts. just because we have different opinions, it doesn't mean we are minors. adults feel too. that was a bit mean and maybe the reason I also snapped so much in this ask and vibe less with the blog/asks. forgive me)

Don’t apologize! Messages like yours do not give minor at all haha it’s just those that are extremely mad and are not trying to have a conversation that give minor vibes😌 you’re all good

Also I need to point out that, even tho they loved each other, Jungkook and OC were NOT dating when the kiss with Gabrielle happened. More than that, they hadn’t really spoken in MONTHS when Jungkook slept with Lisa. Please enlighten me on how he fucked up on that one bc he did not. His only fuck up was the Gaby thing

And I write angst. Pure angst. My usual readers know that! If you don’t want angst with a lot of twists, my writing is probably just not for you. I used to not even give happy endings but now I do so at least there’s that haha

But yeah I get it, it’s a lot of angst and twists but without them there would just be no story, you know? Like the fic would have ended forever ago, and it would have taken away from the reality aspect of it. This story was meant to be this way bc that’s how it was meant to be (and how it made sense for it to be considering the characters’ personalities) and it’s okay if it’s not for you! And just remember that just bc you would not forgive someone in a similar situation (which is totally okay) does not mean that someone else would not forgive!

Anyways I don’t really know what else to say except I hope you enjoy the rest of the story

[phoenixkaptain]

Can’t stop thinking about Star Wars…

The Original Trilogy is about forgiveness and love. How love can help people who everyone thinks are too far gone. How you can choose to be good at any point, even if you’ve done terrible things. You can make the choice to change your behaviour and become maybe not a good person and definitely not a perfect person, but a better person than you were just a moment ago.

Thinking about how the Prequel Trilogy feeds into this. Anakin makes choices throughout, and he feels unmoored. He feels like he has to hide. He does hide. He hides from the people who can help him, the Jedi, because he can only see how he’s imperfect and they’re perfect, he can’t see their flaws. He loves Padme and Obi-Wan but that love tears him apart and he stops feeling safe anywhere. He loses everything he loved, from his home to his mother to his Master to his wife, and that makes his final choice in the Original Trilogy, his choice to do something good, all the more meaningful because we know him. We know he isn’t perfect and we know he’s capable of committing atrocities, but he chose not to. He chose to sacrifice himself for someone, instead of wishing someone would sacrifice themself for him.

The Sequel Trilogy had so much potential. But, there was no plan. And that’s the most diappointing part. The original and prequel trilogies have flow, they make sense, they connect intrinsically to each other and they only strengthen each other. The sequels just don’t flow, they don’t connect, they feel disjointed.

If Rey had to be Palpatine’s granddaughter, I think it would have made more sense for her to be the Vader mirror instead of Ben Solo. If Rey had been raised and groomed as Palpatine’s next apprentice, if she had been taught that Jedi = bad and democracy = bad, but Palpatine ruling everything = good, if she was a Sith from the beginning, but she chose not to be? That would tie in to the first trilogy a lot better.

Especially because they could have used the psychometry they gave her. She could have found Anakin’s lightsaber and felt heart break. She could have seen all the terrible things that happened because of Anakin, because of Darth Vader, and she could have had a moment of realization that she can choose to be good. Especially if she didn’t find Anakin’s lightsaber, but Luke’s.

Rey could have been powerful because she was trained her whole life to be powerful. She could have been masculine because she was trained her whole life to be masculine. She could have been such a better antagonist than Kylo Ren was. And it’s all because of the choices the characters would make and the intention behind them.

When Ben Solo leaves everything behind, he lost everything, but it was his choice to do so. If Rey was in a situation where she was raised by Palpatine but decided to give up that life, her fear of losing everything hits a bit harder.

They could even have made the same story! Like, Rey leaves as a teenager and goes to Jakku to hide because nobody will look for her there, only to stumble on a droid from the Resistance and realize that this is her chance to do good. She could seek out Luke Skywalker, hoping that he’ll teach her how to be good instead of bad. She could kill Palpatine by throwing him down another reactor core.

You wouldn’t even have to change the other characters all that much, honestly. You could still have Kylo Ren, his bond with Rey would just be a bit different. Maybe they were groomed together for a period, maybe he was to be her replacement, either way, you could still have that, if you really wanted to.

You could have anything you want, because the sequel trilogy is the way it is and it’s not going to change just because I have opinions. I wish it was different. I wish the people who made it were allowed to care about it, to see it through to the end, all three movies, to make a plan at the start then follow it through to the end. I wish they’d been allowed time to revise and edit and do things better. I wish, I wish, I wish, but it’s not that way. And I just have to make my peace with that.

[meowww-ffxiv]

Theodore: As I have indulged you in many of your Little Creature Tendencies, I ask you to indulge me in my weekly existential anxieties.

Meowdred: Okay. OwO

Theodore: Do you remember the Ea? How they said the universe will one day enter an eternal ice age, and no new stars or life will ever be born. At the time, I was so concerned with saving our star that I rejected their revelation with all my heart, but I think what they said is the truth.

Meowdred: Are you worried about it now?

Theodore: I don't know if "worry" is the correct word. But it looms over me. Some days it shadows all my joys.

Meowdred: Hmmm. I can tell you what I think about it.

Theodore: That it does not matter if we all die in the end and are never reborn, only that we are alive in this moment?

Meowdred: Well of course it MATTERS. Nobody wants to die, man, me included. But I think the Ea posed a fundamental flaw question just like Hermes did.

Theodore: Oh?

Meowdred: When they saw the truth, they said "This cannot be! Our existence is not indefinite!" Which I understand flew in the face of all that they had achieved, but come on. Everything's going to end SOME day, and the part of the universe that encompasses life surely must, too.

Meowdred: But they were saying all that from their perspective. You and I have seen how just the shards of Hydaelyn possessed such radically different flora and fauna. The other side of that ice age, or even within that ice age, might not contain or support aether-based life forms -- life as we knew it. But so what? Something or someone might have still lived.

Meowdred: I was going to ask the Ea that too, but Y'shtola and Urianger were more succinct in their rejection of their wallowing.

Theodore: I see. But that does not actually make me feel that much better considering the extinguish of aether-based life forms is still true.

Meowdred: And so? It is a grand truth. It is the assurance of a final destination for our journeys. The only thing worse than dying to me is not being allowed to die. Not being able to lay down your burdens for the last, final time. And it's so far away!! Practically infinite. How many hellos can you fit into this infinite before our time ends, how many goodbyes, how many skills can you learn and perfect and pass on. How many new friends and new experiences and even new enemies to define, redefine, unmake and remake you?

Meowdred: How many turns of the heavens do I have, to love you? Let's say our souls will be peculiar and we retain ourselves after these bodies disintegrate. How many reunions would we have? Adventures and tranquil nights alike. When I see before me the amount of time I have to be your friend, it's both finite in this life and infinite in its possibilities. But believe me, I'm glad for it.

Theodore: :''( I love you too. I love you the most out of everyone and everything.

Meowdred: I love you too. ^w^

Theodore: Also I suppose you were playing up the part about being old?

Meowdred: Raha pointed out that it's not so much I feel old as I feel worn down, and not processing everything as well as I want to. It's not synonymous as feeling like I'm at the end of my ropes. This body is frail but it loves me well enough if I care for it, as do all things. I'm up for adventuring.

[roastyoualive]

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Anonymous asked: Character development question: What is something / what are some things that someone can do that will annoy your muse?

So Warren is a certified Good Boy. This is the hill I am willing to die on. He’s a good kid. But as you probably know, he has some things that just set him off. 

The first thing is, obviously, his dad. Warren loved his dad. Maybe he does still. It’s complicated for him. But he remembers his dad as spoiling him rotten. He remembers his dad as fawning over his mother every second they were together. He remembers being happy. And as many things as his dad’s done wrong, as many people as Barron hurt, Warren still remembers him as being a good dad. He loved Barron, and in a messy, grieving way, loves him still. And nobody gets to talk about his dad. It’s usually best to avoid Barron as a subject matter entirely, unless Warren brings him up first. Even then, it’s kind of dodgy. 

Next is his mom. This one is different from his dad. Warren’s mom isn’t in jail. He still sees her… Sometimes. Not as often as he’d like. But he loves her more than he can put into words. I’m not saying their relationship is perfect, or that they never have any arguments. They’re still (super)human. But especially the older he gets, the more he knows she’s sacrificing for him. The more he understands what she’s going through. While she would never say such a thing, he feels like he ‘took away’ her life from her. Like he owes her for toughing so much out for him. Of course, if you were to ask Penny, she’d tell you Warren was the best thing that ever happened to her, and is the reason she keeps going. But hey. They’re both going through a lot. But the long and short of it is, even though Warren knows she can handle himself, he’s protective of her. Nobody’s allowed to talk bad about his mom. She is the strongest, best person he knows. He’s especially wary when adult heroes bring her up - he knows she’s controversial, but again, that’s his mom, and he has no patience for that kind of thing.

Don’t ask for a fork at the Lantern. Just don’t.

If he’s reading, leave him alone. He really likes books - novels, comics, certain disciplines of textbook. He reads really, really voraciously. He also doesn’t get a lot of down time, so if he’s taking time for himself to read, just - well, like I said, leave him alone. 

Don’t comment on his eating habits. He knows. He’s trying. 

It’s also a little pet peeve of his, but people who don’t take their education seriously really annoy him. He’s scratched and flawed to get where he is, scholarship kid and all, and people who take it for granted just bug him a lot. 

Also, don’t initiate physical contact until he does, barring VERY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES or VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE - he’ll let you know pretty quick whether he’s cool with it (usually involving fire).

[candleshopmenace]

imagine this: you are made of glass.

you're small and thin and fragile, and, one day, someone decides to shatter you completely. you get glued back together, but nothing is ever the same. no matter how carefully your pieces are fitted, there are still hairline cracks running through you. there are some days when you can pretend that you are perfectly whole, but then the sunlight catches just right, and you're suddenly just a kaleidoscope of flaws, your shadow dancing at your back with the reminder of who you used to be.

outside of your home, however, nobody notices. they never cared enough to pay attention to how you were before, so why the fuck would they care about you after? you're just a bad kid, after all. you're loud and brash and disruptive, and you never raise your hand to speak (but would anyone call on you if you did? would anyone ever ask to hear what you have to say?) and you're smart, you're so, so smart, but you're too much of a perfectionist for your company to be enjoyable.

and you're angry.

god, you're so fucking angry.

'someone is going to put you in your place one day,' they all tell you, but what they don't know if that you've been reminded of your worthlessness since the day you were born. 'nobody is going to want to be around you if you keep acting like this.'

'good,' you want to respond. 'keep them away from me before i ruin them, too.' but you don't say that. you never say what you're thinking. you have entire conversations in your head, but you never open your mouth, because you're too scared of what will come spilling out if you do.

so, you grow up angry. angry at yourself, angry at your parents, angry at the world. you look in the mirror every morning and hear your mother's voice, because that's who you got this anger from - it's an heirloom, rotten to the core and passed down through the generations, smeared with blood and tears and the haunting echo of, 'that's not going to be me. i'm not going to be like that.' but you are, and that stings more than it should. the truth hurts, after all. so, in return, you hurt people. you yell and shout and scream because that's what you were made to do, you were born to be a monster, a bully, a reminder that some people can't be changed. you want things to be perfect to make up for how fucking messed up you are, for how your voice breaks when you cry and how your eyes linger too long on rooftops, on knives, on guns.

'i'm sorry,' you want to say. 'i'm sorry for being like this. i'm sorry for not being able to break the cycle. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.'

but nobody has ever apologized to you, so why should you apologize to them?

(and isn't it easier, being angry? anger is power. your mother has taught you that. anger is keeping the upper hand, is holding your head high, is looking down at people and thinking, 'you could never be me. you could never do what i have done.' anger is strength, raw and vicious. nobody loves you when you're angry, and there's a certain kind of freedom in knowing that you have nothing to lose.)

but you're a monster. fuck, you're the worst monster that has ever lived. this is what the world has made you, but this is what you have allowed yourself to become. have you learned anything from the lessons given to you? have you learned anything at all?

no. no, you haven't, and you hold that knowledge close to your heart. you're small and thin and fragile, but mirrors are made of glass, too, and maybe if you pretend enough you'll one day be the person your mother wants to see when she looks at you.

but you're not that person yet, and so you starve.

you're hungry for food and you're hungry for fear, because you've given all of yours away and the only way to get more is to make other people scared of you. you're hungry for how your parents tell you, 'good job,' when you do well on tests, for how your mother brags about you to her friends when you come out highest-ranking in the class for the fifth time in the row, and you're her legacy. you have to remember that.

you carry yourself with a pride that you don't feel, because you're the best. you're going places.

why, then, does it feel like you're staying still while the world moves around you?

it doesn't matter, it doesn't fucking matter. you're the best, you know that, and so does everyone else. you know your worth. you know what you can do. you're angry, but you're the best at everything you try, and that makes you special. that makes you valuable. and valuable things get put on high shelves so that they don't get broken, and that's all you want. you can't get shattered again. you can't fucking do that again.

you go to sleep each night knowing that you don't deserve happiness. you're cruel and mean and hard to be around, and, when the time comes, there will be no light at the end of the tunnel for you.

after all, you're already dead. you're just waiting for your body to catch up.

[umbra-borealis]

This hit me on a deep, deep personal level, so I'm here to prove a point to the person asking that you can in fact admit that a game or other thing of media has flaws/is not perfect and *still* have a great time or have it mean a lot to you.

SMALL EDIT, put the whole shebang under a read more for those who need to be reminded that it's okay to like things. I went and weeded through this person's absolutely batshit, unhinged responses and I respectfully suggest everyone just block em because h o l y s h i t.

And hey doubleamr9, if you're reading this. I either tip mine hat to you for the commitment to the bit, or hope you get the help you need. Because by acting like a total callous buffoon I have already seen people go 'sigh, sonic fans :/' and that's not because of the games at all, that's because this kinda tomfoolery is making us look bad. GG mate, congration u done it.

Closing words:

Shadow the Hedgehog was a game I was only able to play at my big brother's, shortly before his abusive wife isolated him from my family and I hadn't seen him in YEARS. That game is associated with very happy memories which for a time was all I had of him. I don't care if anyone thinks it's 'bad' but if you have the nerve to shit on it around me we cannot be friends.

Sonic Forces, another game people love to shit one, literally is the reason I'm here today. I was in such a dark place at the point before it's release I legit thought about exiting the server of life. I hung on because my old childhood interest, Sonic, was coming out with a new game and a child who had a very traumatic childhood I had *one* dream. I legit hoped and prayed for Sonic to be real. I do not care *one bit* if people think that is cringe because I was like 5 years old and if anything it is profoundly sad that a 5 year old has to wish for a blue hedgehog to be real instead of being able to rely on their family for love an attention. So while folks saw a 'deviantart simulator' with 'cringe OCs' what I saw was my dream getting the closest thing to being real I could ever hope for. I made a cute lil hedgehog version of me, watched the characters banter with him and by the end of it when Sonic looks into the camera and calls 'me' his buddy, I sobbed.

I'm sure it's not at all that deep for other people but it is for me. It's the *context* that gave it meaning, that made me feel 'wow, this game is special to me, I don't understand why people hate it THAT much, it's not THAT bad.' but that's probably because their experience is vastly different from mine.

If you have a deep seething hatred for the Sonic games you think are 'bad' then first off that is no way to spend your time and energy and I highly suggest you look into ways to change that mindset and if that fails please make an effort to see the reality that no one experience is universal. What you think is bad or cringe could be very, very dear to someone and for you to come in unprompted and say "That's a bad game and makes us look bad" is incredibly hurtful. And let me be very clear and say that it's okay to not like stuff but it's about how you word it that changes a fine opinion to have, to just being rude out of the blue when nobody asked. When I see you talking about life having taught you to avoid anything 'bad or cringe' that's something YOU were taught and kinda concerns me, because I tried that for a while and it made me MISERABLE. Perfectionism can be incredibly toxic and you need people, not just fans but also devs, writers, etc. to be allowed to make mistakes, to take risks and see if they stick because we're supposed to learn from those thngs.

Cringe however, is something defined soley by *you*. It is soley a *you* problem. Nobody can help you when *you* cringe at something and it certainly isn't anyone's responsibility but your own to make sure you don't cringe at something. I highly suggest you reflect on all that to some degree, idk if I made a lot of sense but I took this personally. TLDR: I thought you ask was a pretty rude thing to say to an industry professional, could potentially scare the shit out of fledgling fans who want to write their own stories if they're going to be held to such high standards as yours, and all around felt like I should lay down a reality check for anyone reading this that no one experience is universal and if you think something sucks but you see someone else say 'I loved it' then maybe it's not their opinion that's incorrect but your kneejerk negative response to that opinion that needs some work. Because that aint healthy, not for you and not for those around you-

ACTUALLY I don't think OP will give two shits and a dime if this is a real thing that happened but your honor I rest my case this is the most delulu thing I've seen in a while and I am concerned.

Can you and the rest of the staff stop making references to the bad games like Shadow, 2006, Black Knight and Forces? This franchise needs to be better, and that can’t happen if critics are constantly reminded of this franchise’s miserable failures.

"Bad" is a relative term. I have a close friend whose favorite game in the whole series is Shadow TH; it was there for them at an important time, and brought immense comfort and strength. Sonic '06 gave me my favorite Sonic character, Silver, who was central to me figuring myself out as I came of age. Black Knight tells one of my favorite Sonic stories, and I can't describe the excitement I felt when I heard a traditional English folk song, one I had been learning in my studies of Celtic music and loved dearly, used in-game. We wouldn't have Whisper the Wolf without Forces. And beyond me and mine, there are countless fans finding wonder and meaning in every single Sonic game, despite their flaws. While I agree that self-reflection and critique is essential to any creative endeavor, it can be done without shame. I would never choose to deny the recognition and celebration of their joy, or ignore the beauty to be found in the imperfect.

Assigning too much value to the judgement of others is self-destructive. Sonic fans don't need the Sonic series to be "good" or "respectable" to love themselves, because they are human beings whose worth is infinitely greater than a video game's metacritic score. Be cringe, be free.

[jackiezenauthor]

Some thoughts on failure and creativity for starter creators

I understand the fear of failure for sure. I struggle with it so much. I grew up undiagnosed AuDHD (diagnosed barely this year), which gave me severe Rejection Sensitivity. It's why my therapist and I have been working since the very beginning on this failure freeze I get, and the progress is incredibly slow and tedious.

What I'm trying to say with this, is give yourself patience and trust that you will eventually find a way to handle this, even if feels like the end is nowhere in sight. Especially then.

What does help me, and hopefully might help you too, is remembering a couple of things:

1. I took a whole year to learn to walk and 30+ years later, I still stumble on my own feet sometimes. Mistakes are part of life.

2. Every failure is a learning opportunity. An expert is the person who made so many mistakes to date, that they now know either how to fix them, either how to avoid them. Every time you make a mistake and learn from it, you are so much closer to becoming better at your skill.

3. Not all people out there are the same. It's okay to let people that can't be patient with you go. It's better to surround yourself with supportive ppl rather than naysayers. If you're afraid you might get blinded over too much positive reinforcement, seek out people who can criticise your work constructively instead of just point out mistakes (giving helpful suggestions too, not just point out flaws)

4. We are all unique individuals, with unique character and preferences, but we are not THAT unique. Make your art as YOU like it, and let people who like art like you like art find you. Of course it'll reach people who don't too, and some of those will feel entitled to try bully you out of doing your thing, but at those times, it's absolutely a service to both yourself and those people to just block them.

5. Especially in this age where AI makes 'perfect' art boring, feel free to experiment and let yourself create things that speak to you, make YOU happy. Embrace bad art, make it, allow yourself to love it even when nobody else does.

What I still struggle with internalizing is that the mistakes we make are very rarely life or safety threatening. Sure, we need to make money to survive, avoid law problems, we need to stay away from possibly life threatening dangers like getting doxxed or flooded with toxic flaming disguised as social justice (let's be honest here, if those specific ppl really cared, their approach would be to try see your pov too and help you understand what it is you're missing on seeing when saying/creating something crude or misinformed, not just throw insults and threats at you as if that would help anyone but their own feeble self esteem)...

But on average, a lot of these absolutely terrifying situations are more mentally taxing than anything else (which is still absolutely dreadful, I absolutely agree, but as long as you're still alive and free to roam, you can take your time learning how to handle them, seek some help. There are so many mental health resources online these days, even a discord where you can ask for advice for free). If we can do a shounen protagonist move and gather our strengths to get up and try again, we will find that things can be solved...

And, let's be real here, if you're a small creator, how likely are you to get that much attention to get doxxed or thrown into bankruptcy level law trouble? Once you'll be big enough for that kind of attention, you'll hopefully have enough of a following and income already to be able to fight back somewhat, or be heard when acknowledging your mistake, if the case (Logan Paul is still out there, still influencing or whatever he's doing, if he could survive the Japanese forest disaster he made for himself, you can survive misgendering someone by accident or whatever mistake you're terrified of doing).

Embrace mistakes

Embrace the cringe

Make your art

Find your people

Be your people

Be genuine

Believe in your ability to keep growing, learning, changing

Go forth and experience your life like only you can!

Make your art the way only you can

I believe in you

Life believes in you

Believe in yourself too!

[ihatelettuce]

This app has done me so wonderfully while I’ve had it

In ways that I can’t even begin to talk about this app and reading fanfiction in general has saved my life

It singlehandedly resparked my imagination and creativity

Gave me a safe place to explore ideas, thoughts and concepts that I couldn’t get out of my head

It’s allowed me to decipher feelings that I’ve had hidden deep inside

Formulate them into something comprehensible

I don’t have any desire to read fanfiction any longer

While I always have and always will love reading, I finally want to be present

For the first time in my entire life, I finally want to be present

My love for attack on titan will never ever die. I may not be a diehard fan who’s entire life revolves around the show anymore, but I will never stop loving or rewatching my show.

I have been battered, assaulted, neglected and hurt throughout the entirety of my life, and in the absence of any form of socialization, friendship or real love, attack on titan and it’s characters filled in the void that nothing else would.

With the endless philosophies and theories that are insinuated and portrayed within the show, I have learned so incredibly much about life and the way I viewed myself and the world around me.

Eren taught me to embrace myself and hold myself to a higher light, simply because I exist. He taught me to never look back. To STOP looking back. That your personal freedom was the ONLY thing to strive for, your only goal. Nothing else was, is, or will be more important. Move forward. Move forward and keep going, even when it hurts, you TAKE your freedom.

Mikasa taught me a devotion to hold for the ones you love like nobody else ever could.

“I don't like the terms "good person" or "bad person" because it is impossible to be entirely good to everyone. To some, you are a good person, while to others, you are a bad person.”

That statement from Armin alone changed my entire perspective on life and what it means to truly be myself. As a character who was already relatable to my timid, fragile younger self, he opened my eyes up and taught me to accept that I couldn’t be perfect and that I was worth every ounce of love I deserve even if I’ve been “bad”. That my worth doesnt come solely for my actions and how proper I am. That even though I hold it together, I am still a wreck inside and it causes me to unintentionally hurt.

Armin made me conscious. He made me aware of the much bigger picture behind what it means to “be”.

Watching Jean grow into a man as he was intended gave me hope for the world. Albeit slight, he brought me hope. Hope that more people would follow their own steps into blossoming into the man (or woman) that they felt as though they were meant to be. He embraced his flaws and discovered ways to turn them into his advantages.

Also he was such a classical hopeless romantic, I loved him so much. He’d paint portraits of beautiful women he’d love to spoil and properly love. He spoke so softly and gently about women, offered his entirety to the one that would allow him, kept himself clean and graceful for himself and for them.

He taught me much about what qualities I wanted in a man. Someone full of pure genuine love and no hidden intents or malice. A man who’d see my beauty and want to praise it, not take. A man who’d be so enamored with me that he wouldn’t be able to keep himself away. Not in the way that I’d been used to.

Connie and Sasha. The bond that they shared. The laughter they kept up. The unbroken cheeriness in the face of constant adversity. That joy was everything I’ve ever wanted to have, and if they had it whilst going against a 60 meter monster hell bent on destroying them and their home, who’s to say I can’t do it despite having been torn to shreds from the inside out.

Levi. Oh Levi.

He warmed me the way a dad would. Strict, stern, unwavering and emotionless, not unlike my own, yet opposite to him in every other way. No matter how tall he felt as though he needed to stand to be taken seriously with such reverence, he showed such genuine care to his team. To Erwin, to Hange, to his partners and collaborators.

There was no longer an excuse. Stoicism is not an excuse for poor judgment and uncalled for meanness. He broke the excuse.

Behind that mask lay a beautiful man, mature and clear. Entirely fulfilling to those he loves and so tender with his touch.

I could envision him loving me. I could feel him laying me down gently, not for any sex. To massage me. To graze his fingers through my skin. To comb and brush my hair and give me little braids or styles. To put a light layer of makeup on me, only to enhance my features rather than slathering a full face on for a false sense of security. He’d be so attentive to me. Studying me to see where he could comfort and console me, and taking initiative to actually do so. He’d prepare me for any sexual encounter. He’d take his time. He’d let me take my time. He’d ask me questions and seek constant reassurance from me. He’d keep me safe. Remind me that I’m safe. Ensure that I knew that I was always ok under his grasp. And he would do this purely out of his heart. Solely because I’m the only person he had ever found any solace in. Because I allowed him the safety of letting that side of him out. As he did for me.

What Jean did to me emotionally, Levi did to me physically. He taught me how I wanted to be touched. Finally, something had taught me.

Grisha Jaeger. A terrible father to one son, and a spectacle of a father for his next.

I was the Zeke to my own father, and my siblings were four Eren’s I had to swallow down and forcibly watch receive the love I so desperately wanted.

The memories viewed within the Paths, the realizations Zeke had to undergo, all of it was just so close to home.

Understanding that your parents are just two other hurt people in this life who were failed and forced to conform to parenthood and life is one thing. I swallowed that pill long ago, logic has always been something easy for me to grasp onto.

But actually feeling it. Understanding it in your heart, not just your mind. That was something only the Jaeger family managed to do. How deeply rooted that pain from your childhood self truly is. How far it affects the rest of your life. The views you hold of the world. Of authority. Of people. I refused to see all of it until I was inadvertently forced to. Through their lens.

Grisha was a victim of his own child/livelihood. Another product of his environment and the authority that was held over him.

Nothing would ever be able to excuse his treatment of Zeke, especially when compared to how well he was able to parent Eren, but to see his actions having changed as a direct result of his previous failures, to see him realize how terrible of a husband and father he truly was, to see him accept this fact and repent. Repent endlessly for years for the family the lost, to see him actually grieve and mourn their absence and desperately wish that he could change it, ensuring that his current actions reflected what he desperately wanted to change it to

I just wanted my father to do the same.

Maybe the cycle was broken a little too late, but he broke it. He changed himself.

And in the end it made all the difference.

I don’t yet know what life has in store for me and my own dad, but if there’s a chance that I can one day receive a hug that heartfelt by my father. If there’s a chance that I can one day hear how sorry he felt for his own transgressions against me. If I can one day be told how much he loves me and genuinely feel it, I will live. Because the hurt that we’ve experienced from our familial loved ones is unjustifiable, but if the reasonings understood to have caused that behavior are, there is always something worth hoping in. Those wounds are in fact healable, and through the work, you’ll find such solace in the newfound relationship that is born.

Zeke Jaeger

Zeke

I can’t tell you how much I love you. Not in a romantic way, I don’t think it ever truly was. You are me.

You’re all of my childhood expectations. My childhood hopes and dreams. My childhood actions and repercussions.

You are all of my repressed teenage anger and angst. All of my isolated youth despite showing no open signs of it.

You are my discarded feelings. My denial. My refusal to truly understand my father, my refusal to understand and accept how it all has affected my personality and behavior towards others.

You are secretive, as I once was. You hide your insecurities and shame through a veil of a falsely mysterious and serious facade, as I once did.

You are cautious and weary. Expertly mastered how to conceal your true self, true feelings, and true intentions. Expertly mastered exactly how to speak and act to get people to like you. To respect you. Expertly mastered how to curate an existence that was entirely separate to your own, sharing your body with another entity. All as I once did.

You let yourself slip into darkness and unintentionally allowed your demons to turn your passion into hatred, hatred that scarred other people as a casualty. As happened to me.

At such a young age your experiences shaped you into a “mature” soul. Capable of everything your superiors are, capable of taking and withholding pain and pressure without a sound. As happened to me.

The constant weight of stress and pressure turned you nihilistic. As it did to me.

And despite the hurt and constant pressure, you worked so hard. You studied hard and trained diligently every single day. Preparing yourself for the life that had already been planned out for you, even if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted. You arrived to achieve these dreams and make the best of it, even if none of it was yours. As I once did.

And in the end, right before the finish line, everything was crushed. Your plan was destroyed by forces beyond your control. Your life turned into complete disarray and turmoil, all by forces beyond your control. As it happened to me.

You lost yourself completely. As I once did.

Behind all of this, behind all of the appearances and secrets, there was always the true you.

The you that was goofy and actually quite aloof. The you that was snarky and sarcastic, witty with your smarts rather than using it for pretension. The you that was as sensitive as you were afraid to accept. The one that loved so deeply and so desperately missed the childlike wonder in our eyes that was stolen from us. And that childlike wonder too, still remained. The you that yearned to find and see the good and beauty in life. The one that longed to experience it, unlike the front you adorned that was deeply afraid to.

As everything broke apart, you were forced to look at the shattered fragments and thoroughly examine them. This was your puzzle to solve, and with every piece that you picked up came new revelations. Things throughout your life that explained current behaviors and feelings. Things that you noticed you completely missed out on due to that pessimism. Colors and vibrancies that stood so tall before you that you were forced to see were left unnoticed by you, again due to that pessimism. All of those mistakes, those failures, those errors in trial, the true pain of life. All that you buried in the name of “self sufficiency”, only to be thrown directly into your face so that you could no longer ignore and deny it.

To sit with the ultimate loss. To sit with every single thing in your life taken and stripped away from you. To accept this loss and finally admit that you fumbled. That you’re gravely hurt. That you’re insufferably alone. That you are in fact real, alive, and just afraid to truly live.

All of that pain we avoided, only to see that when it’s finally brought to the light we can learn so much about ourselves. Our past selves and our present.

And once this release is formed, we’re reborn.

We look up to the sky and see the sky as we do everyday, except this time,

It’s seen.

You see the sun for the first time since you were five. You see its brightness that hurts your eyes when you gleam. You see it’s color soaring through the sky, painting the clouds as it rises and departs.

You see how beautifully the trees sway against the business of the human world. How delicately the ocean waves in accordance to the tune of the moon.

How the moon itself is a goddess. The most beautiful natural phenomena of our world. How she never ignores you. Never defies you. She looks at you directly into your eyes with her own, and they’re so tender.

You notice how the way you love animals is the way you should love yourself. The way you should love those closest to you if you can.

You realize just how connected everything is. How harmonious the vast number of cycles of life present actually are. How nothing matters and everything matters at the same time. How the world is incomprehensible large yet minuscule all at once. How you are the only certainty that exists.

We can learn the roots of all of our problems and stumble to find the solutions. We can take it day by day and learn how to change.

And as the days go by, learning turns into understanding. Stumbling turns into running. Taking it day by day turns into enjoying things day by day.

We relearn ourselves. Relearn our concept of existence. And only one thing remains constant.

And that one thing is love.

I have covered the trueness of what you give me with a false recognition of my love for you as lust. A product of what has been done to me over and over again. From childhood up until now.

I have spent years picturing us fucking from night to dawn. Picturing a healthy relationship built off of sex, one that was unfair of me to do to you.

I spent so much time meaninglessly finding solace in your body, escaping my misery through your hands and your privates. I spent so much time wondering why it was nothing more than a temporary reprieve.

It took me far too long to realize that it didn’t feel like true relief, because it wasn’t.

I had been doing to you what every man in my life up until this point has done to me. I had been repeating the cycle. Continuing the abuse of person through the use and “appreciation” of their vessel.

You are me. I am you.

When my brother put his hands to me, I lost every ounce of faith I had in a man.

And without realizing what I had been doing to you was a form of abuse in its own right, I had been punished in real life for it.

That slap in the face woke me up.

I stopped desiring sex as a whole.

I could no longer stand to picture sex, even if it was with you.

I couldn’t stand to picture what you looked like unclothed anymore.

I couldn’t stand to imagine a rowdy night with you. An unspecified scenario that led to the “greatest fuck” our lives. I couldn’t stand picturing an empty relationship that resembled nothing of either of us just because I wanted one without truly realizing what one consisted of in the first place any longer.

My hatred for men fully rising to the surface allowed me to truly exercise it from inside of me.

I no longer felt the need to scratch and pick at my skin in hopes that all that was contained within it could finally spill out.

I was still lonely. Desperately desiring the touch of another person.

But it wasn’t sex.

It finally wasn’t sex.

Sex never did anything good for me, and it absolutely was not going to cure me.

I love you so much I couldn’t stop picturing you altogether. Besides my family you were all I had. You were my best friend. You were my lover. You were my mentor. You were all I had left to hang onto.

I started imagining the real you. Imagining how you would truly see me. The real me. Not the fabricated character I would invent to try to appease you. You treated her humanely. You were playful and at times a little assholey, but you treated her like a true person. You spoke to her clearly and engaged her oddness. You were mesmerized by her vessel but that wasn’t what drove you to her. By any means. You enjoyed her presence alone. The love that vibrated through her. You enjoyed her conversation, her depth, her love, everything that she radiated and put out into the world and into you.

You made the realize that this was what I craved my entire life all along.

It wasn’t a boyfriend, it wasn’t to experience “good” sex, it wasn’t to become a different person in the name of not being “better” than me.

It was to finally be seen, no matter how uncomfortable that vulnerability felt, and to be loved unconditionally throughout all that was seen.

You were my practice. My simulation. The only person and thing that allowed me to truly lay myself completely out in the open for.

You were always me all along. And once I realized I couldn’t treat you that way anymore, I realized that I had to do the same for myself.

If I couldn’t be loved the way you would love me, or the way Jean or Levi would the way it was presented in my head, I would no longer settle.

There is no acceptance for anything less.

I have so incredibly much left to learn and heal and level up from. So much more to look forward to and experience in this life that has been so limited.

With 100% certainty, for the first time in my entire life,

I really am ready.

Thank you Hajime Isayama for creating a show that is so vibrant and so deeply woven in storyline. I loved it from a pure watching experience alone, but as a DELULU ass bitch who was genuinely stripped down to nothing, this story was a manual that I followed.

I couldn’t have asked for a better one.

Thank you for all of the tears, joyful and otherwise. Thank you for all of the lessons learned. For all of the concepts explored. For all of the feelings you have helped me release. Thank you for the dreams and the visuals. Thank you for readying me for the world in ways that everything else failed to do.

I don’t yet know if I will delete this app or not

I have zero desire to read fanfiction again, and truthfully I want it to permanently stay that way.

Regardless, some of my best memories have been made here and I appreciate those memories with all of my heart. Tumblr has been nothing but good to me, and to any of you who for whatever reason are still here on my shitty small ass account, I hope that it helps you too.

Stay safe and heal those wounds, please don’t lose yourself in the mess of the real world and the false safety of the false world

You are all very very loved and are capable of being free, only if you believe so (even if you have to force it for years on end, fake it till you make it)

I’ll probably never open this app again even if I do keep it installed, but either way if anyone sees this, I still love you fr

I’m still goofy and out of pocket and full of love and sexy and amazing y’all 😋 I’m just more serious now, and that’s so much more than ok

[mcheang]

Exclusive

Edna Mode was a renowned designer, famed for her harsh but accurate critiques, her fierce and practical lines, and of course, being the designer of the majority of superheroes.

And now she was hosting a fashionista gala, inviting those worthy of a Mode gala. As for those asking for an invite, Edna just asks who they are and calls security.

Lila, as the self-proclaimed BFF of Ladybug, and Gabriel’s muse, had already boasted of receiving the glamorous invitation. It didn’t just come in an envelope, it came out of the sky in a rosewood chest, accompanied by a bottle of wine and canapés. (Or so she says. Adrien and Marinette rolled their eyes. Chlo�� wasn’t paying attention)

Alya: Girl, I’m so jealous. But hey, maybe this will be a good thing. After all, Adrien is going with Kagami. Chloe will just stick with her mom. That means it’s a chance for you and Marinette to know each other better.

Oh yeah, did I mention that everyone knows Marinette is MDC?

Lila forced a grin but didn’t want to make any promises.

Imagine Lila’s rage to know she wasn’t given an invite because she was just a model. Adrien was the heir to a fashion company. She was not.

With all the bragging Lila did, she can’t back out or Chloe and Marinette will call out her absence. (Chloé learned about Lila being a guest from Sabrina later from gossiping)

So, she stole Marinette’s invitation. She did some editing and made her own customised invite, brandishing it for her class to see.

Marinette saw her invitation missing, rolled her eyes and reported the theft to Edna. Plz, everyone knows Edna invited her. She didn’t really need a piece of expensive paper.

The day of the gala arrived, and Lila brought out her invite.

The guard looked at his clipboard. “You’re not on the list.”

Lila: No, but I do have an invite. Obviously someone must have made a mistake with your list.

The guard snorted. “If that’s the case, then your fingerprints and eye scans should have already been registered. That’s what opens the doors.“

Lila gulped and thought about sneaking in with the next guest. But no such luck. Security made sure one person entered at a time.

As the security guard moved to push Lila back into the crowd of fans, Lila cried out that she knows Ladybug and Gabriel.

Guard: what’s your point?

Lila: You’ll be fired for this!

Guard: Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard this all before.

Another guard just scoffed. “You’re only a model. One of many in the industry. Miss Mode doesn’t care for models.”

Lila: what are models if not the face of fashion?

“Spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only of themselves” Edna herself was at the entrance, wondering what was causing the disruption in her guest entrance flow.

Lila: How can you say that? Then why would Ladybug be my Best Friend?

Edna: the day Ladybug says she is your Best Friend is the day I wear crocs. And I don’t mean crocodile leather.

Edna points at a random guard. “You, get this so-called model out of the way. She is blocking the queue.

Oh by the way, Edna calling out Lila was caught on camera by the reporters.

One of them questioned why she was kicking out Gabriel’s muse when his son, a supermodel himself, was invited.

Edna: I did not invite the boy because of his face. I invited him because I saw potential (basically she realized he was Chat Noir. She would never invite Adrien otherwise. As seen from her quote, she doesn’t have a high opinion of models) That is, if he ever gets out of his father’s shadow. Because, let’s face it darling, what can Adrien do besides look pretty and play with swords and piano? You would think the boy would be in part of business meetings, but no. At this rate, Gabriel needs this gala to get out of that stuffy house. Realize that maybe his parenting methods are flawed compared to some other talented figures here. Look at Miss Kagami, focused on upholding her family legacy of fencing. MDC already knows how to run her own business after learning a bit from her parents. Even Audrey’s daughter has been joining in on becoming a fashion critic and throwing parties for political parties. But I must go, my guests await.

Back inside the party, guests were avoiding a seething Gabriel’s eyes. He had come to scout out the superhero guests, only to be called out by Edna on live tv.

Marinette went up to Edna and asked one of her fashion idols why she burned the Agrestes in public.

Edna: do you think Gabriel would change his parenting ways if we did not expose them to the influential figures of this industry, as well as the public eye? I guarantee you Adrien will be allowed more freedom of choice, lest Gabriel wants his son to be known as a coddled boy who can’t even make his own decisions.

Edna didn’t bother softening her sharp voice as she says these words.

Adrien flushed.

Quickly changing the subject, Marinette asked why Edna hated models.

Edna: it’s not that I hate them personally. I just hate their jobs and what they represent. Models nowadays are beautiful only according to the world standards. People who see them want to be like them, never mind that the models they see on the screen are airbrushed to unrealistic and impossible perfection. Now models focus only on their own appearance, trying to maintain their beauty as time ages them. They go on diets and become superficial. Whereas outside the modelling industry or such like, you don’t need to be stereotypically beautiful to be worthy. Where your worth is measured in kindness and bravery and talent and intelligence and anything beyond superficiality.

Adrien overheard and he frowned, not liking the idea where his appearance on ads is not exactly right. He only joined the company to make his father happy. But maybe it’s time he stepped into the business side of things and exit the modelling world. Bonus: no more Lila!

Edna snorted, “Though I must admit Gabriel surprised me with his newest model. Her attitude is lousy but she doesn’t strike me as a model. She just doesn’t have that model walk. But enough about the old man, my dear MDC, let’s talk about you. I love your gender-neutral line. And was wondering if you would like to join me in creating my next line of clothes for the Incredibles. A rare opportunity but I like style. Now take this offer before I change my mind.”

Marinette: wait, do I have to fly over or-

Edna: you are too excited, darling, but don’t worry, my assistants will send you the details.

Why are the Incredibles getting a new look? The kids are growing up and Edna wanted to move on to new styles.

As Marinette was flabbergasted, Audrey congratulated her for landing the job. Kagami and Adrien also beamed at her good fortune.

Even the Incredibles admitted they looked forward to working with her. Violet was a big fan.

Gabriel was seething and thought about akumatizing himself but come on, one villain against a room of superheroes? No thanks.

Drinking a glass of wine, he eventually admits that Edna had a point, however loudly and rudely it had been announced.

He would not be around forever and he wanted to leave the company in Adrien’s hands. In order for that to happen, his son needs to know business (if he can’t design, he can hire designers)

And yes, Lila was a lousy model. She survived by shooting with professional models who managed to overpower her mediocre work. But a deal was a deal. Besides, her contract was only for a year.

After the gala, Adrien happily quit modelling (aka Lila) to spend more time with his father, learning about how to run a company.

Marinette and Edna proudly claimed credit for the fashionable Incredibles.

Violet also became the talk of the school for her MDC exclusives.

Lila had been humiliated on air. Alya hesitated but finally did her research. At the end, she collapsed over the ruined credibility of her blog. But she can still get revenge by informing the principal, Ms Bustier and Mrs Rossi what Lila lied about. The perks of being a class vice president for a busy class president is that she also has the contacts list for emergencies.

Considering how Lila framed Marinette, there would be no suspension or detention. Only expulsion. Good luck finding a new school when Edna’s gala was a global topic.

When Lila returned to school for her last week (it takes time to gather evidence and get the attention of busy adults), nobody wanted to talk to her or even exchange glances. She quietly kept to herself, hoping for this to blow over soon. She was still a model working for Gabriel. She could befriend other supermodels (as if. Like they would want to befriend her after Edna called her out)

Hell, even her jobs were down. Gabriel just told her to take test shoots to fill up her portfolio until the hype died down (aka her contract expired)

When Lila was expelled, she was ready to be akumatized into Chameleon again. Except one problem. Everyone avoided her like hell so how could she kiss her target. Even Adrien was told to stay away lest his reputation be tarnished.

Ok, I admit it. I was hit by “I’m no Angel” quotes as I wrote this. But seriously, does anyone feel weird at the idea of trying to become thinner when your weight is just right, all the while you know there are people out there even thinner than you are and are starving, not because they want to be stereotypically thin, but because they cannot afford food?

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Wander over Yonder Messages

To anyone who dares to think this show is stupid

1) Actions speak louder than words

2) Accept defeat with dignity

3) Not everyone you meet has good intensions

4) Love always wins

5) Think before you speak

6) Make sacrifices for those you love

7) Do good and you will receive good

8) If you love something, set it free

9)  Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful

10)  All’s well that ends well

11)  You’ll always get caught in your lies

12) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to fit in

13) Know how to accept it when you’re wrong

14) Ignore people who insult you and want to bring you down

15) Having a beautiful heart is what really matters

16) Have a strength of character

17) Stand up for yourself and those you care about

18)  It doesn’t matter whether someone else believes in you or not, you need to believe in yourself first

19) Life doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you what you need

20) Don’t make quick judgments

21) Don’t underestimate someone’s abilities

22) Face your problems head on and don’t run away from them

23)  A true hero is humble, kind and selfless

24) Life isn’t a fairytale and things don’t always work out the way we want them to

25) The biggest gift anyone can give you is a smile

26) Always be grateful for the little things someone does to make you happy

27) Always make sure to set a good example for others

28) The most powerful thing you can do is win a battle against yourself

29) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to impress someone

30) Don’t trust everything you hear and everyone you meet

31) Enjoy the ride and don’t compare yourself to others

32) Deal with problems with intelligence and wit and not violence

33) It’s not good to spend too much time in your head and forget about reality

34) Always take into consideration the needs of others

35) You can’t force someone to love you

36) Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst

37)  A true friend is always there for you when you need them, believes in you and won’t give up on you

38) Follow your heart’s desires

39) Make sacrifices for the betterment of others

40) Even the smallest things can mean the world to someone

41)  Imagination is a beautiful and powerful thing

42) Don’t be selfish and always focus on what you want

43) Appearances are deceiving

44) It’s better to have a beautiful mind and soul than to be physically appealing

45) Good and evil are both equally important

46) Instead of fighting with someone, try to put your differences aside to solve the issue

47) Nothing is impossible

48) Some people are manipulative and fake

49)  Behind every hard exterior there is a heart that wants to experience love

50)  Always be kind to someone, even if they’re not kind towards you

51) We are one

52) Everyone deserves to be happy and to feel loved and appreciated no matter who they are

53) People are not always what they seem or who you thought they were at first

54) Sometimes you are the reason for your own problems

55) Have balance in everything you do, even good

56) Hang out with people who make you a better person

57) You never know how much you really need someone/something until they’re gone

58) Always make sure the people in your life know how much you appreciate them

59) Friendship is the biggest adventure of all

60) An enemy is just a friend you haven’t made yet

61) It always pays off to be kind

62) Always keep your promises

63) Sometimes the kindest hearts have felt the most pain

64) Keep your eyes on the prize

65) Karma will always come back to you

66) The secret ingredient is love

67) Don’t try to change someone and accept them as they are

68) Let people find their own happiness and don’t force them to be happy

69) Accept every single part of someone, even their flaws

70) Respect your elders

71) Some things/people are built to last

72) Your weakness can also be your strengths

73) True friendship (love) is better than being cool and popular

74) Superficial things are temporary and unimportant at the end of the day

75) In order to achieve your goals and dreams, you need to be ambitious, hard-working and determined. With those qualities and a good plan, you can do anything

76) It’s easy to manipulate huge masses of people

77) Enjoy every little moment spent with those you love

78) Loyalty is priceless

79) Live life to the fullest while you still can

80) Don’t be afraid to be different

81) Always try to understand where people are coming from

82) Patience is an important quality

83) Real life is so much more beautiful than virtual reality

84) Take risks

85) There’s good in everyone

86) Love is a battlefield (and sometimes you lose)

87) We’re all just little black cubes of darkness

88) Don’t come to conclusions without thinking things through

89) Making someone else feel special is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world

90) Sharing is caring

91) Don’t hide who you are and be unapologetically yourself

92) Don’t be what other people want to see

93) Don’t let greed get to you, because you’ll end up losing what you already have

94) Always be humble and kind

95) Keep in mind that you’re not the only one who’s suffering, and that there are many people out there who’re hurting too

96) Love is worth fighting for

97) People tend to present themselves in a better light than they really are

98) Be carefree and go with the flow

99)  It’s important to have balance between your head and heart

100) People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

101) Never give up when things get hard

102) Your family loves you unconditionally no matter what

103) Don’t be bothered by other people’s business and do your own thing

104) Deal with unrequited love with hope and optimism

105) Let people believe in whatever they want to believe in

106) Don’t break people’s illusions because they give them hope

107) First come small wins, then big ones

108) The darkest times are when you should laugh the loudest

109) Spending time with the ones you love is never a waste of time

110) Don’t focus on the past or future, but the present

111) Don’t waste time on jealousy

112) Even when it looks like other people have it all figured out, that’s not always the case

113) Keep toxic people out of your life

114) Just because we fail doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try

115) Our world is created by our state of mind

116) We won’t be able to see beauty around us if we don’t carry it within ourselves

117) You can’t allow pride to stand in the way of doing what’s right

118) We’re all eternal students of life

119) Nobody’s perfect

120) Not knowing yourself and what you’re capable of is dangerous

121) It’s a pleasure to do what people say you cannot do

122)  It’s better to believe in a lot of things than not to believe in anything

123) All good things come to an end, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make memories

124) Everybody needs somebody

125) People are more than they show on the outside

126)  Nothing can separate those who really care about each other

127) You can’t buy love

128) People and their actions can be unpredictable

129) We don’t live for love, but we die for it

130) Those who are less scared of death have more meaningful and fulfilling lives

131) Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened

132) We should sympathize with other people’s struggles

133) If something can’t be in your life, keep it in your heart

134) We can change the world only when we experience change within ourselves

135) Friendship means cooperation and mutual respect

136) We become more like the people we spend time with

137) Bad things/people can change

138) There’s more power in doing the things that scare you than in the most powerful weapons

139) Help yourself and let others help you

140) No one knows everything

141) Little things in life are those that really matter

142) The more you know, the more you grow

143) Teamwork is important

144) Always stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you’ll stand alone

145) Never give up hope

146) Be aware of your emotions and express them without shame

147) Life is all about transformations; when some things end, others come to life

148) True inner strength is being able to deal with your own passions

149) You can do anything with the help of those who care about you

150) There’s always a reason why someone acts the way they do

151) Have the strength to give those who have wronged you second chances

152) All you need is love