#i’m tired and sad and sorry about the ramble

[misserabella]

two geniuses (addiction)

spencer reid x fem! reader

masterlist! (this is part 5 of the series, check out the rest!!)

summary; after your kidnapping, everything falls apart. spencer’s there to pick up the pieces.

cw; angst, hurt-comfort, fluff, hospitals, drug withdrawal, depression, feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, dirtiness, ptsd, mentions of guns and shots being fired, kissing (yippeeee!!!!), spencer being a sweetheart, pinning, gets a little suggestive but no +18, crying, cuddling…

everything was bright. too bright, and the beeping of the machines around you washed through you like the remains of a lullaby as your eyes slowly blinked open.

you were so hooked up on pain medication that you couldn’t fathom the trauma your body had gone through, but just as you came back into consciousness, all the memories came back. the torture, the sound and feeling of your bones giving up, the smell of your skin burning…

your eyes fell down at the sudden movement of someone else rising from the end of the bed you had been days glued to. spencer. spencer reid was there, puppy brown eyes slowly peeling open before he noticed you were awake, quickly scattering to stand straight with a bewildered expression.

“hey… how are you feeling?” but he was soft. so soft. it almost made you scream. ‘cause you had just gone through torture, someone had broken you, broken you to your core, and spencer was talking to you as if there was still something left that could suffer.

you didn’t answer him, your eyes falling to the nervous fidgeting of his hands, which were strangely all scribbled on.

“uh, right, sorry, it’s just that i was so worried about you not waking up that i couldn’t focus and memorize so i had to write it down and…” your heart skipped a beat, and it almost hurt. he didn’t knew you’d wake up. after four days of unconsciousness, spencer feared you had gone into a coma due to the shock and trauma.

“what are they?” you pointed at the words on his skin.

“they… uhm…, well, they’re ways to help you.”

“help me?”

“yes… with your trauma.” you stared at him in silence and his lips quivered. “torture can lead to permanent physical disabilities and psychologically scar victims, leaving them with profound and long-lasting mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as anxiety and depressive disorders. although many victims demonstrate extraordinary resilience, resourcefulness and agency, torture can profoundly impact all aspects of a person’s daily life. severe headaches, insomnia, suicidal ideation, being easily frightened, being in heightened emotional states, feeling suspicious, having flashbacks, and involuntary disassociation are some of the most frequently reported symptoms of torture trauma. this can make it extremely difficult for people to maintain social relations, work, carry out basic day-to-day tasks and to participate in rehabilitative programs or administrative and judicial procedures…” you listened to his rambling, his brown eyes everywhere but on you. “i did some research. i…i wanted to help.”

spencer looked at you, and swallowed, cause you looked so… empty. that’s how you felt as well. you didn’t feel sad for what had happened to you, or angry, you felt absolutely nothing.

your stable heartbeat beeped through the room.

your hand reached for his, looking for something, anything. anything that would make it erratic, that would make you feel something. were you still high? was tobias’ effect still lingering? but before you could get too close to him you retracted, fisting the bedding.

“sorry, reid, could we talk another time? i’m so tired…”

his eye shifted, his adam’s apple bobbed.

“sure.” he almost tripped as he stood up. “i’ll let you rest. the team is taking shifts so there’s always one of us around in case you need anything.” you nodded and he mimicked you. he was stiff as a stick, moving like a puppet in strings.

after that you watched as he made his way out of your room, leaving you alone, again. you felt chained to the bed, like you had been tied to that chair days back and it made you shiver, the brand on your chest hurting.

you shifted, bringing your knees to your chest, encapsulating yourself in hopes that no more pain would come, almost expecting it.

it didn’t. but you still hoped so. cause then you’d be distracted by the void on your chest, the brokenness of your soul and of the fact that you loved spencer reid.

your stable heart jumped a beat at the realization.

your skin was on fire, and your sheets were soaked. your whole body was engulfed in tremors and pain. they had offered you something for it but you’d declined.

“no more drugs. no more please.” you’d trembled.

it hurt. everything hurt.

“how can i help? how can i help you, y/n?” morgan insisted, pained by your suffering.

“reid.”

“reid?”

“i need spencer reid.” your teeth clicked. morgan was fast, it was mere luck that spencer —well— that he hadn’t left the hospital that day. —He never did.—

he rushed in, hair disheveled, chest heaving as if he had ran all the way to your room —what he did—. he called out your name and you swallowed as he stepped closer, hands in the air, not knowing if he should touch you, wishing he could. “what do i do? what can i do?”

“hold me. please.”

he was on you on an instant, arms softly surrounding you as he made space for himself on your hospital bed.

“breathe. breathe please, i’m here.” he shushed, one of his hands on your hair as your own clung to his vest.

if it were another person, spencer would have ran the other way due to the sweat and germs and the closeness, but this was you. you. needing him.

“it hurts.” you shakily breathed out, trying your best to pace your panting.

“i know. i know…” ‘cause what could he say? what more than holding you could he do?

but truth be told it’s just what you needed. this. him. holding you close exactly like this.

“i’m sorry.” surprisingly enough, that was you.

“sorry? for what?” he inquired.

“for everything.” you shook before losing consciousness again.

going back to work was something you shouldn’t be doing right now. but the minimum time hotch obliged you to take off was up and you needed to be back on working.

your wounds were healed up, the physical ones at least.

‘cause you still hadn’t come up to mourning that horrible day, or actually meddling with the emptiness and dirtiness you felt. you hadn’t even cried about it.

the first days were nothing easy, everything silently triggered you, and had you taking breaks to take deep breaths. you reminded yourself of what spencer had told you to do as he held you; breathe, i’m here.

and he was, until he wasn’t. until you pushed him away and stopped talking to him altogether after your withdrawal symptoms had fewered and you could actually handle the pain by yourself, after you could think once again and didn’t let your heart meddle with your actions.

there was silence on your end. static. it was messing with spencer’s head. no comments. no remarks. no snarky comments. nothing. he almost wished you could go back to hating him instead of… whatever this was.

and still, he couldn’t bring himself to ask you. to ask you if you had noticed that he didn’t hate you anymore. if you had noticed how his way of looking at you had changed. ‘cause the truth was that spencer had never been more afraid than the day he almost lost you. and almost losing you had made him realize that he in fact didn’t want to lose you, ‘cause he would be losing a part of himself.

spencer liked you. as more than coworkers or possible friends. he kind of had always known, deep down, it had always been you. you and your stupid intelligence, and pretty smile, and loud voice, and snarky remarks, and plush lips, and soft curves and…

and now you were gone.

you helped in cases, but you only talked when necessary, you never smiled anymore, you hummed at his words, and you hid yourself on large clothes and turtlenecks, as if you couldn’t stand the thought of the world actually acknowledging you. seeing you.

but spencer saw you. he always did. and still does. he saw the pain you so tried to hide, saw the fear every time you held up your gun, the tremble of your hands when shots are fired.

and he doesn’t know how to fix it. he doesn’t know how to take it all away.

but he knows something for sure. and that it is that’s he’s gonna try.

it’s not for another week that it happens. you’d just gotten home from your last case, exhausted, when someone knocks at your door.

your umbrella is still dripping by the entrance, a storm hitting D.C. just as soon as you had landed. you’d scoffed. it was as if the weather had matched the storm in your insides, the clouds in your heart and the unshed tears of your eyes.

hazel eyes meet yours when the door creaks open under the turning of the knob. and before your eyes, stood a soaking wet spencer, shivering under the rain, brown hair adhered to his face, cheeks and nose a pretty shade of red.

“reid? god how long have you been standing out there?” you inquired as you opened the door wider for him to come inside.

“sorry, i just-“ you made a beeline towards your bathroom, grabbing a towel for him to dry off. he didn’t. he was too distracted to feel cold. “i just didn’t know if i should’ve come.” i didn’t know if you would want to see me.

“so what, you just stayed there pondering under the rain?” he looked at you as if he’d been caught, wide eyes zeroing on you. “jesus, spencer.” you sighed. “you sometimes don’t live to the genius title, you know?” he just stared at you. “what?”

“nothing. i just missed you saying my name.” that shook you to your core. you two stood there. looking at each other before you looked away, incapable to keep eye contact anymore. it almost burned.

“what are you doing here, reid?”

“i don’t know.” he replied.

“you don’t know?”

“i just… i just needed to see you.” he sighed.

“you saw me an hour ago, reid.” he shook his head.

“no. really see you.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i see you, y/n. i’m here. why do you keep pushing me away?”

“spencer-“ he took a step forward, capturing your face with his cold hands, the towel falling with a thud to the floor.

“i held you when i found you. i held you when you were in agony in that hospital bed. i’ve held you through your worst, i’ve seen you, y/n. so why. why do you push me aside?”

“you don’t understand. he changed me. he killed me. he… he branded me.” you looked away, feeling tears coming to your eyes. “i’m not the same anymore. i’m flawed. i’m dirty.”

“look at me.” he whispered, and your glassy eyes found his. “never say that again. you’re not dirty. what happened to you was not your fault. and that scar doesn’t make you any less beautiful. cause that’s what you are, y/n. you’re beautiful.” he breathed against your lips. his eyes fell to the plush of them and your mouth opened in a murmur.

“don’t.” you looked to the side, but he brought you back with tender circles on your cheek. “you don’t wanna kiss me. you don’t wanna be with me. i’ll just make everything harder.”

“i don’t care if it’s hard.” he whispered, looking into your eyes with such love that it struck your bones. “i want it because it’s you. i want you, y/n.”

and then his lips were pushing against yours, softly. just a mere peck, but it was enough to break all the walls that you’ve put up around yourself.

he seemed to be the only person capable of doing it, he had always been.

finally, a tear spilled down your cheek, and a sob raked through your body.

“you’re beautiful.” he repeated as you fell into his arms in heavy sobs. he hushed you, holding you tenderly, one of his hands on the back of your head, pushing you against his chest. you could hide there forever. “i’m here. i’m here, okay?”

you pulled from him, lips pressing against his in a proper kiss, a desperate one, where tears were streaming down your face and little tremors raked through your body. he corresponded, matching your fervor, but still holding you carefully, as if you were made out of glass.

you pulled at his clothes, and he gasped against your lips, pushing away.

“y/n…”

“please. please spencer.” you begged, eyes teary, soul shaking, heart thumping. you trusted him. you trusted him with your life. and loved him with your entire existence. yet all you had to give was your body, your lips, your words. it didn’t seem enough. you hoped it would be.

“baby…, no. you don’t have to.” he shushed you, his eyes holding that promise.

“but…”

he silenced you with the softest kiss anyone had ever given you.

“i just wanna hold you. can i do that, angel?” he asked, and you nodded, being rewarded by his precious smile.

“but you’re not getting into my bed like that.” you pointed out.

“like what?”

“spencer, you look like a wet dog.” he opened his mouth in fake hurt.

“oh yeah?”

“yeah.” he hummed, and before you knew he was hugging you and shaking his head against yours so the droplets on his hair would hit you. you shrieked, before laughter spilled from your chest as you tried to push him away.

he smiled and stared at you. ‘cause finally, you were smiling. and spencer made a promise to himself; he’ll try everything on his power to keep you that way.

spencer spends the whole night in your bed, holding you, whispering nothings into your ear, caressing your face, fingers combing through your hair. he holds you when you cry, and kisses your tears away. and when you finally fall asleep he makes another promise; that no harm will ever found you again, not as long as he’s there to protect you from it.

🤍hope you guys like it.

[scribbless-n-stuff]

I'm here to request since I can't write shit.

Dan Heng came home unexpected and even gave me his lightcone early. I'm screaming 😭😭😭

Anyway, I really want to just coddle him up. Pepper his face with kisses, hugs, play with his cheeks, he's just too adorable I can't

This is more of a ramble sorry. I hope you can write something out of this. Thank youu

Late Night Longings

Characters

Dan Heng (IL or not, depends on your imagination <3)

Warnings/Info

FLUFF!!! INTENSE FLUFF!!!

Author’s Notes

LET’S GAURRR CONGRATS ON GETTING DAN HENG & HIS LIGHT CONE, ANON REQUESTER!!!

Oh god I’m actually tweaking over this beautiful man (I’m a lesbian)

might as well make this a Dan Heng fan acc bro

Hopefully this doesn't disappoint...

After another week-long adventure, the Astral Express team finally boards back on the train. The mission was tough, almost everyone was tired and drained, including you. The train’s doors close, leaving the train car quiet. 

Himeko, who was keeping in check of the duties inside the Express, approaches you from her seat. You feel a hand on your shoulder, “Welcome back, Y/n, how are you feeling?” the red-haired lady asks.

You let out a tired smile, “All good, just tired.. I should go and rest....” Your voice trails off, as you look around for your partner, Dan Heng. However, he was nowhere to be found. He probably went straight to his room. 

Smiling bittersweetly, You let out a heavy sigh, drooping down in fatigue. Your brain was basically falling asleep as you were standing up. 

The sound of light chuckling pulls you back to reality. “Alright, sleep well then.” Himeko withdraws her hand from your shoulder, giving you a smile. She leaves your side, to check on the others. You nod back before also turning away, to go to your room. 

The last sounds you hear, before exiting the parlor car are March’s whiney complaints about how troublesome the mission was. You fondly smile, the crew was like family to you. However, someone was missing. 

Entering your room, you sigh and discard your clothes, getting into more comfortable ones. You also go to wash your face and brush your teeth. By the time you get on your bed, you stretch out your limbs and pop your joints. 

You yawn, as your mind drifts to Dan Heng. “He’s probably tired… Might as well give him space tonight..” you think, before getting into your sheets and wrapping yourself into a blanket. However, you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad, missing the closeness of your partner. Nevertheless, you needed your rest. 

As you felt the snugness of your mattress and pillows, you fell asleep almost immediately, lightly snoring as you dreamt of nothing. That’s how you know you’re having the best sleep of your life.

...

… knock knock

The sound of knocking on your door disturbs your deep slumber, you grumble in annoyance. As you peek open your eyes, you could literally feel eyebags forming below your eyes. You turn your head over to your nightstand to look at the digital clock. 

2:43 AM. 

You squint your eyes and huff in disbelief of the current time. Ultimately, you decide to ignore the knocking. Besides, it was almost 3 AM, there was no way you were gonna be awake during witching hour.

Flopping back down, your head lays back down against the pillow, shutting your eyes back closed. As your whole body relaxes once more, your facial features relax too. Finally… sweet, sweet slumber…

…

… knock, knock, knock

Your eyes snap back open, feeling your anger flare up. Hopping out of bed, temporarily bidding goodbye to your warm blankets, you stomp towards the door of your room. You whip open your door. 

“Can’t it wait ‘til morning?” You sharply scoff, before looking up to see a pair of teal eyes. It was Dan Heng, in more casual attire. Except, you couldn’t see his clothes much because he was loosely wrapped around in his blue blanket. 

“Oh!-” Upon seeing that it was him, you immediately regretted your harsh words, just because you were tired.

“Apologies..” The poor boy mumbles sleepily. “I’ll go back to my room..” Dan Heng sniffles, because of the cold air, as he turns away. His hair was tousled up, looking absolutely adorable, which made you feel even more guilty. 

You immediately reach out to yank him back by the hand. “NOOO WAIT!” you exclaim. “I’m sorry, I was tired..” 

Dan Heng blinks at you, feeling a bit surprised by your raised voice.  “It’s fine.. I shouldn’t have knocked so late.” He mutters. 

Tugging again at his hand, “Apology accepted…” You look at him with adoration, it was truly a rare sight to see this man so vulnerable, due to his usual stoic behavior and expression. “Do you wanna come in?” You offer, feeling happier now that your partner was here, disregarding the late hour. 

The next second, you see a small smile appear on his face. 

“Yes, please..”

With this, he basically engulfed you in his arms, also wrapping you in the blanket draped around his figure. Your yelp is muffled into his torso, suddenly bearing his body’s weight. You do your best to drag him to your bed, hugging him by the waist. 

Dan Heng clumsily waddles to the bed, still holding onto you out of clinginess. Eventually, you pry yourself out of his hold, pushing him onto your bed. “Man.. you’re different when you’re sleepy.” You huff at him, as he looks up at you with a sleepy expression. He doesn’t respond.

You smile, before also getting into bed, beside him. His and your legs tangle together, as you position yourself just a bit higher than him, so that his head is around the same level as your collarbone and neck.

His eyes were already closed, falling back asleep. Poor little thing must have woken up randomly, then decided to come to you for comfort. You coo at him, cupping his face with one hand and leaning in to kiss him on the forehead. 

Dan Heng furrows his eyebrows at his, as you feel his cheeks grow warm. Upon registering this reaction, you snicker, deciding to coddle him up even more. You release your next attack on his nose, giving him a quick peck. After that, you go to both of his cheeks, giving him four kisses on each one. 

“Mmmmfff..” The boy mumbles at you, the warm fluttering feeling swelling up in his chest was feeling too strong. The combination of the late hour and his fatigue were a dangerous combination. Nevertheless, he doesn’t tell you to stop… Or maybe he’s too tired to. 

Regardless, you wouldn’t stop either way. 

“You’re sooo cute~”  Finally, you kiss his lips. Slowly and tenderly, lightly biting his lower lip to tease him. This was the last straw for him. 

“You’re waking me…” Dan Heng muffles against your lips, but you just swallow up his words, as you pull away and give him another quick peck. Ignoring him, as you repeatedly kiss his face in the same order as before, except, more aggressive and affectionate. He blushes madly as his face scrunches up in feigned discomfort, but he secretly enjoys it. 

After a bit, he’s had enough, seriously wanting to sleep now. Dan Heng uses the last of his physical strength and energy to push and roll you onto your back. He gets on top of you, mainly to pin you down and restrict you from any movement to disturb him. The comfortability and closeness were just bonus points.

“Stop. Sleep.” He muffles again, as he nestles his face against your chest. As you’re pushed down, you feel your face heating up at the change of position. Even he felt slightly flustered and embarrassed at his own boldness, but he couldn’t help himself. 

You whine a bit at the loss of control, but you sigh and give in, feeling tired too. One of your hands is brought to his back, as you run it up and down to generate warmth for him. As for your free hand, you tangle your fingers in his hair, gently massaging his scalp to further lull him to sleep. 

Dan Heng on the other hand, his arms were still wrapped around your waist from earlier, holding you against him like a needy koala. The feeling of your fingers caressing against his hair made him let out a shaky sigh. He felt so content, and so did you.

[jenscx]

[06] tumblr girls — the love of my life

it was cliché; being in love with danielle marsh, the straightest girl on earth. you thought your feelings were hopeless, until you discover her tumblr blog.

jihye doesn’t know what to do. the revelation that you had known all this time— known about her feelings and affection for you, known about her online persona, known about the side of her that she’s hidden all this time. it’s suffocating. she feels so upset. jihye hasn’t moved from the spot where she last saw you. her parents are sound asleep upstairs and jihye tries to stifle her sobs to not wake them.

she wishes you were joking, just kidding with her. yet, the raw emotion radiating off your words, the apology filled with sorrow and sadness, maybe even regret, it was undeniably true. her knees were weak, wobbling and almost falling off balance.

jihye can’t even tell if this is a whole prank. how could you become her friend so easily just to betray her like that?

her phone vibrates in her bag and as she tries to fish it out with bleary eyes, filled with unshed tears, the flower bouquet staring right at her. each petal glowing with pity and sympathy. a wrenched hand shoots out to grasp her heart, squeezing it in a vice grip.

a choked sob escapes her as she recalls the scene where you had so shyly passed her the bouquet. your bashful smile, the sheepish expression on your face.

god, jihye couldn’t do this right now.

wiping away her tears, she checks her phone. a single message from you.

jeon y/n [10.17pm]:

i’m sorry. i’ll do the project by myself

the project? jihye had totally forgotten about it. she wills herself to move from the same spot, padding to the couch and sinking into the cushion. she doesn’t know how to continue with her school life, having to see you almost every day. it just didn’t make sense how you could play with her feelings so easily. still glaring at your message, jihye lets out a resigned sigh.

the only reason she had even suggested research on human attraction was to try and profess her adoration in a way that wouldn’t be too obvious. but now, what was she meant to do? it felt as if her whole world had collapsed. she didn’t just like you. if it was a simple crush she wouldn’t be feeling this way.

the realisation comes to her hard. this isn’t a mere attraction or infatuation.

it might just be love. she knows now how deep her love runs.

jihye’s so tired of thinking. were all those words of comfort you said to her fake as well? she hadn’t expected you to become her partner in any way. but the moment your name had appeared right next to hers, she knew that she had to use this opportunity to prove something. and right after her stunt in the classroom, seeing you at the football game? jihye bites her lip, thinking about the way you were staring at her. she had pretended not to see you yet, until you had so cutely waved at her. the pure shock overwhelming her, distracting her from the routine and causing her to fall. it was embarrassing, really but your concern for her made up for it.

and the way she had pointed out your jacket! she just couldn’t contain her curiosity and throughout your friendship, you seemed particularly fond of minji. jihye twirls her fingers together, frowning at the thought. you had told her minji and hanni were in a strange situationship but it still didn’t quell her fears that you might have been harbouring some sort of secret feelings for your best friend.

you had confessed to her though. in the midst of your ramble you had explicitly said that you liked her. jihye groans just thinking about it. she doesn’t know what to feel. on one hand, she was betrayed. on the other hand, her crush returned her feelings. why couldn’t you have just not done anything? she would be fine just living with her feelings.

(no she wouldn’t be.)

her finger involuntarily moves to tap on her spotify. it’s the playlist that you made for her playing. jihye feels as if her head might explode. these actions of yours couldn’t be a lie as well, right? she’s going crazy.

this was something straight out of the romance novels she’s read. this isn’t something that would happen to a regular person— how could it be?

she sinks further into the couch. the blouse she had put on previously to look pretty for you itches uncomfortably on her skin. she wants to get rid of the feeling, both physically and emotionally. begrudgingly, jihye brings herself to shower after the taxing day.

that’s what she needs. a cold shower to calm her down.

jihye inhales sharply.

she can get through this. she’s been through many hardships already. this won’t affect her in any way. she’ll just pretend everything was a bad nightmare.

she can get through this, just like she always has.

so that was a lie. jihye cannot get through this. she had gotten out of bed, hair tousled and eyes red from crying. she looked like she had gotten dumped. how could she feel heartbreak without even being in a relationship? the look her mother had on her face was only a testament to how jihye was feeling. wearily, she went to school without eating breakfast. she didn’t have the appetite. it proved to be a bad idea when her stomach growled during the first period. already feeling bad enough, there was a surprise pop quiz for geography that jihye definitely flunked.

not to mention the stares she got from other people in the hallways when she made her way to class. they were most likely questioning why the usually bright and energetic cheerleader was more gloomy than her best friend. even haerin had been confused.

the girl had whispered in her ear conspiratorially, “did she mess up on the date?”

jihye could only laugh wetly, “yeah, kind of.”

maybe the attention from other people was expected, but what wasn’t, was hanni and minji cornering her after school.

she had just finished her last class and she couldn’t wait to leave the school but your friends had swerved to hold her back. the classroom was empty, void of any students left. you had left in a hurry while jihye took her time to pack up. your friends had waited outside before coming in and interrogating her.

“what do you guys want?” jihye tries to ask as nicely as possible but even that comes out harsh.

minji cowers while hanni mumbles, “we want to know what happened between you and… yeah. she’s not herself. well, she’s not okay.”

what about me? jihye wanted to ask. you weren’t the only one affected by this. she remains mum however, choosing not to reply. it would be unsightly to argue with your friends.

“you don’t have to tell us,” minji offers, “we kind of know the whole outline but not the details. are you okay though?”

jihye’s eyes flit upwards. she doesn’t know whether to tell minji and hanni. what if she said something and your friends just relayed it back to you?

sensing her hesitance, hanni says, “we won’t tell her, don’t worry.”

something about the two girls made jihye want to tell them. maybe it was the lack of sympathy in their words, only comforting. they didn’t pity her for being in this situation. it was something jihye needed.

she swallows and states, “she said she likes me.”

both girls’ eyes widened visibly.

“did you reject her?” minji blurts out.

jihye shakes her head, “no, i… i like her too.”

“WHAT?!”

“why’d you reject her?” hanni asks, albeit more calmly than minji’s reaction. jihye only sighs, “because she told me something that betrayed my trust.”

hanni’s face falls into a contemplative look while minji looks flabbergasted. perhaps aghast that her best friend actually had a chance with her crush but ruined it. jihye would think that her expression looks funny if not for the serious matter at hand.

“do you mind telling us more?” she eventually says.

“uhm, only if you don’t tell her anything.”

they exchange a look that makes jihye’s nerves rise before coming to an agreement.

“we swear we won’t,” hanni promises as minji nods feverishly. they don’t look like they would go back on their promise. yet, you didn’t seem like the type to act so rashly either.

“she found out that i liked her,” jihye starts, “because she saw my tumblr blog and she didn’t tell me either until last night. she told me and i… i just couldn’t handle knowing that she saw such a vulnerable and personal side of me.”

“did you not want her to see it?”

“i didn’t. not yet. i was trying to convey my feelings through my actions,” jihye blushes, thinking of the numerous times she’s complimented you, “i thought she was dense. not that she already knew.” even that time when she met you in the library, she had explicitly asked if you liked a song for girls and you had only brushed it off.

hanni scowls, “she’s stupid.”

jihye shrugs. you were stupid. that, she can’t deny.

“are you going to talk to her anytime soon?” minji asks suddenly. jihye doesn’t know if she should. her lips pursed, minji just sighs, “she’s been super depressed lately—”

the girl gets interrupted by hanni elbowing her stomach, shushing her. jihye raises her eyebrows at the way minji just quietens down without a word. she really does listen to hanni, jihye muses, thinking back on your prolonged explanation about your best friends’ relationship with each other.

“we’re not saying that to… y’know, try and get you to talk to her,” hanni says frantically, “but i think you need it as much as she does.” some part of her subconscious mind feels that there’s truth in hanni’s words. jihye needs to set a clear boundary with you.

“just think about it, okay?” the shorter girl whispers softly. jihye nods stiffly.

before she even gets to reply, both minji and hanni leave, hand in hand, might she add. they don’t turn back to look at her and jihye appreciates it. for if they do, they might have seen the broken look in her eyes, farcast and stormy.

you’re lounging on your couch, still thinking about your wrongdoings with jihye. the soft ambiance of the playlist made for her plays in the background while you stare emptily at the blank tv screen. you haven’t felt like this in a long time. defeated and desperate for any semblance of comfort.

on the coffee table lay your laptop, open with the display of your presentation on your project with jihye. it’s completed. you finished it after pulling an all-nighter and you could see jihye’s icon popping up to check in on the progress. your fingers fly out to message her but you manage to restrain yourself, knowing that anything you said now would only widen the irreversible gap you’ve created.

minji and hanni had tried endlessly to cheer you up but to no avail. it seemed like you were just a shell of a person. blank face, blank stares, unwavering expressions of steel. a week has passed since your confession with no further development of your collapsing friendship with jihye.

you glance longingly at the laptop screen again, just as jihye’s icon disappears. there’s a comment left under the last slide.

mo jihye: good job.

it’s so ridiculous that a miniscule remark could cause happiness to bloom within you. jihye really doesn’t need to do much to make you happy. and it’s a sad realisation that this would be the last thing connecting you to the cheerleader.

you can’t believe that weeks worth of getting to befriend jihye has all gone down in the drain because of your own stupidity and recklessness. you had a chance to prove that you weren’t like the rest.

“what are you doing?” your entire body jolts at the sudden question from heejin. she blinks at you, confused at why you were staring so intently at the laptop.

“none of your business.”

heejin scowls before plopping herself right next to you on the couch. “you look ugly. did you cry?”

you groan, “shut up. i’m not okay.”

your sister merely rolls her eyes.

“something to do about that girl that you liked?”

“obviously.”

“why? what happened? and before you tell me to shut up again, this is me trying to be a good older sister,” heejin says, “tell me what’s wrong or else i’ll get mum.”

sighing, you bring your knees up to your chest, curling up beside the armrest of the couch, “i messed up with her and i don’t think she wants me near her.”

“is that why you came home crying?”

your head shoots up, “you saw me?”

heejin shrugs, “just a glimpse of you going into your room. i was getting water for hyunjin.”

the separation from jihye must have hit you hard since you don’t tease heejin about hyunjin.

“did she reject you? is that why? she’s straight?” heejin asks. you shake your head, chuckling sadly, “she likes me back.”

“so? what happened?”

“i can’t tell you, heej. but the way she looked at me that night,” you can already feel your chest constricting in pain from the sheer memory of jihye’s harsh gaze, “i don’t think i can even try to fix this.”

your sister nods understandingly but still retorts, “do or do not. there is no try.”

you’re a little thrown off by her wisdom.

“yoda. star wars episode five,” heejin laughs. what the hell— “it fits though right? you just need to show her that you’re beyond your mistakes.”

“you’re stupid,” her silly remark makes you laugh though. you feel some sort of gratitude for heejin’s dorky behaviour. it gives you comfort knowing that even though your relationship with jihye was hanging by a lifeline, everything else would stay the same.

“show her,” she says firmly, “that you’re serious.”

“how?” it truly is the only question you can ask. showing jihye that you’re serious about her? if you couldn’t portray it as words, how else could you convey such a heartfelt emotion? it wasn’t a discontinuous variation that was measurable.

heejin smiles softly and for the first time, you’re starstruck, wondering how you could have ended up with someone like her by your side.

“that’s all you,” she encourages, “be vulnerable. she’s built up walls around her because she’s afraid of getting hurt. if you can show her your true self, maybe she’ll open up too.”

you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“thanks heej.” you can’t put it into words how thankful you are for your sister’s presence. it’s so overwhelming that it nearly brings tears to your eyes again—

“deadass.”

“that is not what that means—”

just as the clock strikes one, the bell rings. you glance up from your chemistry worksheet and dread starts to accumulate within you. the next class was the one where you had to present your project with jihye and just the mere thought of standing near her had you trembling like a leaf. you had come to terms with the fact that jihye might not forgive you but you at least had to talk to her. now, the only thing left, and the hardest part was to in fact, talk to her.

you gulp just as minji and hanni quieten down, both coming to the same realisation and turning to you hastily. other than heejin, your best friends have been pillars of support for you. even though you didn’t reveal what your exact troubles were, they still stuck by you. it was nice to have someone. you had hoped that jihye had people to take care of her as well. unless she was unaffected by everything but you don’t visit that thought often.

when mr lee strolls into class, he’s sporting a wide grin. you already know where this is headed and soon, your suspicions come through when he flashes on the projector, in big, bold words, the first group’s presentation.

resisting the urge to avert your eyes to jihye’s back, you force your gaze onto your bumbling classmates who head to the front of the class.

of course you don’t notice the way jihye’s body has been tensed up since the start of class.

you barely pay attention to the presentation, subconsciously focusing on your palpitating heart instead. it beats painfully against your ribcage, almost breaking through it. you can’t feel anything but anxiety and fear.

“—thank you for that presentation,” mr lee says as he types fiercely on his laptop, “next is minji and jiwoo.”

you watch your friend walk up to the front, sending her an encouraging smile while hanni chuckles silently.

“begin whenever you want, girls.”

again, you don’t pay attention. nothing is absorbed into your head. the only thing residing there is a blurry haze of bright doe eyes and a gleaming smile. it's scarily similar to the girl sitting just a few rows ahead of you.

a few minutes pass as your eyes eventually end up boring holes into the brunette’s back. your eyes flicker upwards when the class starts applauding. oh. minji and jiwoo both bow and take their seats again.

“alright, i think we have time for one more?” mr lee says to himself, scrolling down on his mouse. he looks up, “jihye and y/n?”

you gulp, standing up with the whispers of comfort from minji and hanni behind you.

(“i hope she doesn’t start crying,” minji mutters.

hanni nods, “that would be bad. but funny.”)

each step you take feels like you’re inching closer to your death. your footsteps resound in your head, echoing louder than the depreciating voices you hear. jihye’s already standing awkwardly in front, fidgeting with her fingers. you don’t dare to raise your head.

“start whenever you’re ready.”

jihye clears her throat, her eyes flitting to the projector screen displaying your presentation.

“we decided to research human attraction,” her voice trails off at the end before coming back stronger, “it’s deeply rooted in our psychology and biology, combining the two, making it an interesting topic. hence, we started with analysing the human brain.” her words, even though they were consistently rehearsed, still felt like music to your ears. you’ve heard her say this exact thing numerous times but anytime that she talks, it feels like time stops.

she stares at you and for a moment, you’re in a daze before you realise it’s your turn.

“there are many forms of attraction; sexual, physical, emotional, romantic and aesthetic. we can be attracted to someone based off their emotional capabilities and not their physical appearance and vice versa,” you click to the next slide, showcasing data and studies from the late nights you’ve spent with jihye researching, “we generally find someone attractive if they have similar interests as us. we believe that they share a common outlook on life and adapt to the same behavioural patterns.”

you don’t need research to prove that true. you know that through all the conversations about music with jihye, it strengthened your liking towards her.

as jihye explains further, you can only gaze longingly at her. she’s never felt so far away from you. even her body language, turned away and facing the class instead of you.

“there’s been numerous studies done on human attraction but no one has been able to accurately define what is attractive to us. due to the complexity of the human mind, we can’t really outright state that something attracts us,” you explain but you can’t disagree further.

you can most definitely define what attracts you. a cheerful and silly girl from australia that’s for sure.

“yet, despite the science and psychology behind human attraction, there’s been a lingering question of whether we truly feel attraction or we’re forced into it. people who are asexual and aromantic may not feel the same as us. attraction can’t be measured. this begs the question of whether attraction is spiritual in nature. some may say that they feel an undeniable connection with another person, deeming it to be their soulmate,” the word leaves a bitter taste on your tongue. it’s scalding and toxic. soulmates. what a phenomenon.

“the idea of fate is popular. maybe the universe has created your destiny in such a way that you would end up with this person no matter what,” jihye says, “that’s what attracts you to someone you barely know.”

you barely knew jihye. she was just another crush out of your league. yet, she still ended up meeting you. was it fate too? you don’t believe in soulmates, but if you did, you would want jihye to be yours.

“their one true love,” jihye repeats, “even though a person can experience multiple forms of attraction. they believe in finding a soul destined for them. there has been no evidence that people are fated for each other. but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”

the rest of the presentation goes by in a blur as you think about jihye’s last words. fate. what a funny thing to say. it is a nice thought; to have someone out there, waiting for you to come into their life.

perhaps it truly was fate that you were assigned to be jihye’s partner. maybe every single time you’ve met her, it was fate. and every single time you didn’t, it opened up another reality where you would eventually end up at her door, apologising once more. maybe in every single universe, you were doomed to a life of misery, caused by your own foolishness.

and maybe if you never clicked on her tumblr blog, you would go on with your life, never knowing if that girl in high school ever liked you back.

“—thank you, y/n and jihye.”

you snap out of your reverie when jihye nudges you slightly. blinking a few times, you head back to your seat wobbly.

“are you okay? you kinda zoned out there,” hanni whispers. you nod, still trying to steady your bearings.

everything you’ve thought about. it doesn’t matter anymore. it has never mattered because in the end, you’re not the one destined for jihye. maybe she deserves someone better. someone that has enough confidence to believe in their own capabilities rather than resort to such ways. there was never a need for you to invade her privacy. should you even try to ask for forgiveness anymore?

you still should. because jihye deserves a proper apology, even if you don’t deserve her forgiveness.

“hey, after this i’m gonna stay back to talk to danielle for a bit,” you inform minji and hanni, who both simultaneously light up.

as the class ends, you pack your bag extra slowly, keeping a close eye on jihye. her hands tremble as she packs up. you wonder if she’s okay. everyone soon leaves and just as jihye’s about to exit the door, you voice out, “can we talk?”

her head turns and there’s a look of exasperation and confusion swirling in her eyes before she nods.

“y-you don’t have to say anything… or forgive me but i just want to apologise properly,” you mutter. jihye nods again.

taking a deep breath, you sigh, “i know i really messed up and it was a decision i made consciously. that i won’t deny. i was just desperate and it caused you harm, so i shouldn’t even have the right to continue liking you. but i want you to know that my feelings are true and i’m not lying about liking you. so, i’m sorry for invading your privacy like that.”

jihye tugs on her bag strap nervously, bouncing on her heels as she whispers, “i don’t know if i can do this.”

you feel a sliver of hope and joy that she isn’t outright rejecting you.

“th-that’s okay,” you struggle to mask your happiness, “i just wanted you to know how much you matter to me. if you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship. i really would like it if we stayed friends too… i just need you in my life, danielle.”

the brunette nimbles on her bottom lip, her face full of uncertainty. you want to squeal at her cuteness. she looks even prettier today, maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve seen her up close. you take the time to admire her facial features in case she gets a restraining order on you.

”i like you too, but…”

“you can’t trust me?” you complete the sentence for her. and even though it hurts, jihye nods. you chuckle, “that’s okay. what can i do for you to trust me again?”

“you really hurt me.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

jihye frowns, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration, “when did you start liking me?”

“when i moved blocks,” you admit. you have an inkling jihye just wants to embarrass you but even now, you don’t mind. it feels like deja vu when you first confessed, but maybe the girl blocked out everything from that night. you would want to forget it all too. “i saw you in the hallway and kind of got a hallway crush. then i kept noticing you in my classes.”

“what do you like about me?”

oh, this was easy.

“i like a lot of things about you, maybe everything,” your answer brings out a gorgeous blush on her cheeks, “i like the way you smile at everyone, the way you always look for the good in people, the positive outlook you have on life. i really adore the way you smile though.”

jihye turns her face away but you can even spot the redness heating up on her face. now your reply seems a little corny.

“sorry,” you mumble.

“it’s… it’s okay. i appreciate it,” she smiles. oh my god, she smiles— “most people just talk about my looks.”

“you’re beautiful, both in terms of appearance and personality.”

the brunette laughs softly and the sound is so delightful that you could cry. clearly your answers made jihye’s walls shrink slightly.

“i really like you, i swear,” you try to say earnestly, “if you push me away, i’ll accept it but i can’t promise that i’ll stop liking you.”

jihye shakes her head, “you can continue to like me and… i don’t think i want you to stop either.”

your eyes light up as you take in her words.

“does that mean—”

“yes y/n, i’m forgiving you,” jihye sighs. you can barely control yourself when you reach out to embrace the girl, throwing your arms over her shoulders and gripping to the back of her uniform tightly. neither can you contain the tears that fall, your contentment bursting at the seams and the adoration for jihye exploding in your heart. she relaxes in your hold, rubbing your waist gingerly.

“don’t mess up a second time, okay?” she teases cutely. you nod fervently, “i swear i won’t. i like you so much.”

you sigh happily, “thank you, danielle.”

there’s a moment of silence before jihye utters,

“call me jihye.”

masterlist | next

🎙️ author’s note: andddd tumblr girls has officially ended! i’ll try my best to come up with an epilogue of jihye and yn but as of now, this au is finished. thank you to everyone who has supported tumblr girls!! unfortunately i couldn’t finish it on tumblr girl’s one year anniversary (one year damn.) but at least it’s somewhere close LOL anyway i hope that you guys all enjoyed tumblr girls 🤍

[sh1gglypuff]

City of Stars

…are you shining just for me?

ahead: female or suggested female reader, mild suggestive content, pain

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Kenma!” you call out into the vast house. Your voice reverberated off of the walls and bounced back to you, the white walls illuminated by the evening glow. You dropped your bag along with your keys by the door, kicking your shoes off and making your way through your home. “Kenma?” you called again.

It was almost 2am. Your newest film had premiered that evening, you walking the red carpet in a gown with a price so high you refused to think about it. You had that privilege, not needing to think about the price tags on things such as that. The after party raged on through the night, and you were coming home tired and a little tipsy after your evening out.

You were high off of nothing but your own success and glamour. The movie was going to be a hit, you knew it and everyone else knew it too. Your agent thinks you’re a shoo-in for an Oscar because of your performance and you hate to admit this out loud but, you agree.

“I’ve been calling your name, did you not hear me?” you say, entering the master bedroom loudly.

“I heard you.”

“I had the best evening Kenma truly. Oh I really think this is going to be it for me. This movie is what’s going to sell…” you continue to ramble on as you sit on your side of the bed opposite of him and take off your stacks of jewelry. He offers small hums and nods as you do.

“I had a poptart for dinner,” he says as your chatter dies down. You frown at him.

“Kenma our kitchen is full of food is it not?”

“It’s not,” he says monotone.

“Well…you could have ordered food. Or god forbid…gone out!” you fake a gasp as you say this. He doesn’t like when you mock him like this.

“I don’t like going out. Especially not recently since everyone knows I’m your boyfriend now,” he turns on his side to face the wall.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I hate attention. When I go out people ask me a million questions. It makes me feel nauseous.” After he finishes saying this you get up and walk towards the bathroom. You look back at him, him facing you with his eyes closed.

“Can you unzip my dress?” you ask. You don’t think he’s heard you at first until he nods simply, opening his eyes and sitting up. He gestures for you to come over and you walk closer to him, turning around and letting him place his slender fingers on the zipper of your dress. He unzips it slowly, stopping midway. He remembers unzipping a dress of yours for you years ago, his hands shaking with anticipation. That was when you were nothing but a struggling actress in Los Angeles, desperately looking for any sort of work. That was when he felt wanted. That was before everything changed.

Kenma wishes he could be happy. He feels like that would be the only normal reaction. He is happy you’re living your dream, the dream you’ve worked so hard to achieve these past years in this city. He’s happy for you. He loves you. He unzips the rest of your dress.

With the back of your dress unzipped you turn to him, placing your hands on his chest. You kiss his lips, softly at first then beginning to make your kisses fall with more desperation. At first Kenma wraps his hands in your hair as the two of you fall onto the bed. Your hands wander down his torso, a hand slipping under his shirt and-

“Stop! Stop…” Kenma suddenly says, pulling away. You quickly remove your hands from his body. “I don’t…want to.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Your face is flushed with worry. Kenma shakes his head.

“I’m sorry I’m…just really tired right now.” You don’t question him as he says this, you just nod. You get up from the bed and head back towards the bathroom where you finish getting ready to go to sleep.

As the shower runs and the sound of your hums and harmonies sound lightly from the bathroom, Kenma cries.

Kenma can’t remember the last time he’s cried over anything, genuine sad tears. He tried not to cry too hard, trying his hardest to make sure his tears wouldn’t be obvious as you came out of the bathroom. He but his sleeved hands into his eyes, pressing lightly. He wanted to stop crying but couldn’t. He took a deep breath.

He didn’t want this life. He didn’t want to live in a big house in the hills of Hollywood and only see his girlfriend every couple of weeks. As you were on set for this last movie he got a small taste of the next however many years of his life. You, shooting movies in various locations, flying around doing press tours, walking down red carpets. He on the other hand couldn’t do a single thing without the label of your boyfriend. He couldn’t stream a game without the mention of you, couldn’t leave the house without being asked of the movie. He loves you with everything he has, but it’s just so hard.

Kenma wants to be his own person.

Kenma also wants to be in love.

You come out of the bathroom, hair tied up and makeup off. He loved you in this form. You looked genuine. It was his favorite look you had. He loved this more than your stunning red carpet looks, the looks you had on the covers of recent magazines. He loved the you only he could see. He says your name softly as you sit on the side of the bed opposite him.

“Yes?” you responded.

“I…I don’t know if this is going to work.”

The silence is deafening in Kenma’s ears. He doesn’t know how long you were quiet, he just knows it was too long. “What?” you finally say.

“Nothing, sorry.” He tries to take back what he’s already said. He realizes he can’t.

“No, what? Tell me what you mean Kenma.” You’re suddenly more alert, looking towards him with attentive and concerned eyes. Kenma tries his best to not start crying.

“Everything is different now,” he says simply. “I never see you anymore. People know you. People know me. People know me as an extension of you.”

You stare, slightly confused as to what he’s trying to get at. “Do you want to see me or not?”

Kenma looks towards you. “I do want to see you. I really and truly do-“

“Then what do you mean? Is me being known now a problem?” Your brows are furrowed.

Kenma takes a long moment to breathe, closing his eyes. He does this when he’s anxious. You could see him squeezing one of his hands. “I just- this was not the life I imagined myself having. I feel like I’ve been doing nothing. Nothing for myself at least. You…I don’t know. You’re being so swept away by a life of…fame. That’s a life that I can’t live and I feel like we’ve been on different planets. I don’t feel like part of your life at all. I feel like…the guy you don’t even think of during the day that you just happen to kiss and fuck in the evening.”

Silence fills the room again as you take in everything Kenma is saying. You have no idea what to possibly say. Do you want to fight for this? You’ve loved Kenma for years. He was right though. You did feel like you lived on a different planet. “That. That’s a large accusation”

“I’m not accusing you of anything I’m just saying how I feel.”

“I do think of you.”

“And I believe that you do. I just don’t…feel it?” Kenma wanted to say more but didn’t know how to word what he was feeling. You grip your arm tightly, thinking. You look towards the window, desperately wishing you were just asleep in his arms.

“Can we finish this tomorrow Kenma?”

“You expect me to just fall asleep? I haven’t sleep more than 3 hours in the past 4 days. I can’t stop thinking about this. I can’t stop thinking about us. I love you, so much. I really hope you know how much…I just don’t think I can keep living like this. I can’t stop being a nobody.”

“It’s your fault you’re a nobody Kenma!” you say throwing your hands in the air. His last comment set you off, everything bubbling up had suddenly came out. “You don’t have to lay around all fucking day! You can get a job! You can do things! You probably have more opportunities to do things because of me!”

“Fuck you,” is all he says. His eyes are filling with tears.

“Fuck me? Kenma I’m just stating the truth. You’re doing nothing with your life and I am. You can’t blame me for that.”

“I’m going to Kuroo’s,” Kenma states, getting out of bed. You don’t respond to that, just watch as he slides on a pair of shoes and walks out of the bedroom.

“Kenma…” you start. He doesn’t listen. He keeps walking, grabbing his keys and walking out of the door. You could run after him. You could have done everything to make him stay. You don’t.

6 Years Later

You were the biggest name in Hollywood. You had gotten what you had always dreamed of. You had starred in movies that topped charts, had multiple oscars under your belt, and the most perfect fiancé you could ask for.

Kenma was sitting at a cafe, computer open and glasses resting on his face. Kenma had his own business. A successful one. He had made a name for himself, one without you. He sipped lightly on his coffee as the door rings open. He doesn’t look up, focused on his work.

He hears murmurs from around the cafe, confused he peers to what people are staring at. It’s you.

“Thank you,” you say with your famous smile. You take the coffee from the shaking barista and turn. You see Kenma. He sees you. He puts a hand out to wave. You nod your head.

He watches as you walk out of the cafe. The chatter of the room reaches its peak then dies down to what is was before.

That interaction lasted maybe a minute, but it kept Kenma up for days.

He thought of the days he had spent loving you. The evenings he had spent helping you with auditions. He knew you before the world knew you. What if he had never said anything that night. What if he has just learned to adapt? Would he have married you? Would the two of you have a life unlike anything he could ever dream of?

You were getting married. You were getting married to your most recent leading make costar. Kenma has questions he knows he’ll never get the answers to. You live on different planets. Maybe you always had. Your lives are no longer intertwined. Maybe Kenma is okay with that. Maybe he will learn to be.

He smiles, staring into his now empty cup of coffee.

[castiwls]

peter - d.w

Paring; dean x reader

Prompt; 'Said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me’

Requested; anons

Notes; this is long (for me) and sad :( reqs and inbox are open !

Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist

Dean Winchester was a man you’d never be able to understand. You’d only been 18 the first time you’d met him. You’d been bright-eyed and optimistic about the world, freshly out of high school and enjoying your newfound freedom when you’d stumbled into a dinner drunk on cheap vodka and craving some sort of food.

He’d caught your eye almost immediately. Your drunken confidence led to you finding yourself in the seat opposite him, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watched you ramble almost incoherently before falling silent.

That meeting alone led to a six-year relationship. For a moment you’d believed that Dean may have been the one. That you’d been one of the lucky few to find your soulmate at a young age meaning you’d get to live your life out with him.

And then everything seemed to unravel right before your eyes and you were hopeless to do anything. Dean quickly went from someone you saw your future with, to someone you’d seemingly outgrown - even though you were two years younger.

By 25 you were ready to settle down, traveling around the country had been appealing when you were 18 yet it began to feel like a chore. You wanted a home, a place you could go back to after a long day and feel safe.

You’d argued about it until once you’d had enough. You’d left with nothing more than a note explaining yourself.

It had been years since you’d even thought about Dean Winchester yet now you found yourself face to face with a man you’d long since given up on.

Dean’s smile was the same. His eyes still held that sparkle that you’d loved yet it had dimmed slightly, his eyes more tired.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. You swallowed watching him. “Why are you here?”

“What. I can’t stop by and say hello?” He pushed off the door frame stepping slightly closer. He continued to smile yet you’d noticed it failed to reach his eyes. A small frown pulled at your lips as you placed a hand on his arm.

“Dean. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing wrong.” He shook his head. “Dean, I’m not stupid. Somethings wrong, and where is Sam?” You ran your hand up his arm before placing it on his shoulder. His face dropped slightly at the mention of his brother. He sucked in a breath, his body seeming to deflate slightly.

Oh

“Dean i…I’m so sorry.” You sighed pressing your hand to his cheek. He stayed quiet simply leaning into your touch his eyes fluttering shut. 

You’d once promised yourself you’d never let Dean Winchester back into your life unless he finally agreed to grow up. Yet standing there in that moment you still saw that 18-year-old you’d met at the dinner.

Moving your hand from his cheek you stepped back. 

“I have a guest room.”

–

“He’s alive.” Your tone was dripping with disbelief as you stared at the man opposite you. Dean nodded his back against the counter. “Yeah.” He sighed running a hand through his hair. “He has been for a while.” Dean was talking as if this was the most normal thing in the world, he was using the same tone he’d use whenever you’d discuss dinner, or whose turn it was to take the trash out.

This was utterly insane. Even after he’d filled you in on everything that had happened since you left you still found the whole thing insane. Yet it was Dean so you’d believed him. You’d allowed him back in your bed and over the past year you’d fallen right back in love with him.

You’d finally got what you’d wanted. The life you dreamed of with him was a reality and you’d grown so comfortable that you’d almost forgotten what he’d told you years ago.

“I love you. But I can't leave hunting behind, It’s my whole life!”

The words had stung then and they stung more now as you stood opposite him in your kitchen. 

“So your going with him.” You crossed your arms and swallowed back the hurt which lay heavy in your chest. “You're going back.”

Dean watched you for a moment, his eyes downcast for a moment. “Sweetheart I have to-”

“No, you want to.”

Dean paused as you cut him off, taking a small step forward. He placed a hand on your arm. “I’m sorry.”

You looked at his hand for a moment before pulling back and turning around. In doing so you missed the look of hurt which flashed across Dean’s face before he followed you out of the room.

Walking into the living room you grabbed a blanket off the floor, folding it before turning back to him. “I know you're not sorry. I know part of you is glad, glad that you’ve finally got your get-out-of-jail card.” You placed the blanket down as he crossed his arms. “Thats no-”

“You don’t have to lie Dean. I know you well enough to know damn well that you could never walk away from hunting.” You let out a breath sitting down on the couch.

“I’m not mad. I just…” You ran a hand through your hair, leaning forward on your knees. “I really thought that maybe you’d finally grown up. That you’d realised that hunting isn’t a forever thing. But I guess I was wrong.” 

Dean sat beside you, his hand grasping yours in his. “That’s not true.” He shook his head. You turned to look out the window, your eyes closing for a moment as tears burned at your eyes.

Dean watched you for a moment before gently grasping your chin and turning you to face him. “This year…This year proved to me that maybe hunting isn’t my be-all and end-all. But I miss it.” He admitted quietly. “And I can’t let Sam do this alone, I couldn’t live with myself.”

Your eyes stayed on his as he cupped your cheek with his hand. “I love you.”

You sucked in a breath before swallowing. “Yet you still broke your promise.” 

Dean frowned, squinting slightly as he tried to figure out what you could mean.

“The note.” 

His eyes flashed with realisation before he opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “I told you to come back when you had grown up and were ready to walk away, and only when.”

His face dropped. “When I came that was true. Sam made me promise that when it happened I would follow through on that promise and I did. I did for you and for him.” He moved closer stroking your cheek. “Sweetheart you have to believe me.”

“I do believe you. But you still broke that promise.” You took a breath to compose yourself. “And I can’t wait forever, Dean.”

[etherealsworldvision]

Singles Love Reading

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about “Care for Gaza” a non-profit charity aid on Twitter (now known as X) who are helping families in need. If you have the funds here are their PayPal and GoFundMe.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Note : I’m going to give you a heads up…this ended up being a LOVE reading and not a SINGLES reading lol. I guess we are not feeling the romance tonight lol. Okay look — I DID ask for romance stuff and this is what I got so I hope you enjoy it still.

[ general message: saw 222 as I was making the layout so this number might be significant. I believe the numerology meaning is: balance, harmony, spiritual alignment. You can condense it to 6 which would mean: domestic happiness, harmony, and stability. Rain. Autumn/Winter season. Airplanes. 123 ]

Pile 1

[ channeled message: “because I’m tired of being the only one playing by the rules, the world is unfair […] maybe it’s okay if it’s unfair in our favor for once” – Craig from Killing It. ‘Called it love but it was lust’, ‘It wasn’t love like I had hoped’. ‘maybe another time,’ ‘love is a complexity’. ‘If love can fade so can pain’. ‘Let your cup overflow with the love you deserve’.

Additional Confirmation: Seashells. Becoming a Sea Jelly. Prickly. Becoming a Porcupine. Sea and the Earth. Poetry. Disturbance. ]

Cards: 7 of wands (Reverse); Hierophant (Reverse); 9 of Wands. Snail; White Dress; Queen of Hearts; 8 of Hearts.

First thing’s first…this is a complex reading. This is going to be a different type of love reading. I’m sorry if you’re looking for a ‘who is coming in’ but if you still want to stay then please do. This reading does have romantic undertones but it will dives into love.

When I started this reading: I felt like I needed to protect myself — bolt all the doors, close all the windows, triple check the dozens of cameras around the house, and secure myself by hiding under the bed with a blanket wrapped around me.

There’s this profound grief/sadness/yearning/loneliness all meshed together in a box. I think this is your energy because I’m not getting another person. I could be wrong though. But the overall energy feels like the saying “the world/love hasn’t been too kind to you.”

I’m not going to sit here and tell you how to feel. Your feelings are 100% valid because for some reason people probably told you how to feel which made things worse. Honestly all I can give is a virtual hug.

Honestly maybe you’ll find love in this reading [not romantic wise! I meant like a little bit of softness for your day. Idk maybe I’m rambling]. It just feels like you need a blanket and a warm cup of your favorite drink. Some of you might like apple cider with extra cinnamon. Maybe a nice cup of coffee or (ginger) tea with some sugar. Or it’s not physical warmth you’re after but, just this once, inner warmth.

This emptiness you have isn’t something to be taking lightly, that is for sure. It should be held with recognition and upmost delicacy. You aren’t difficult to be loved.

Some of you know this while others may find difficult: you are deserving of love. Some of you are probably groaning and rolling your eyes. I wanted to say it again just in case. I’m also sending you lots of love and support.

You know what, why should I stop there? You’re deserving of people putting effort into you, of understanding, of consistency, of acceptance, of things to be taken at a slower pace. You deserve a love that is supposed to feel like your favorite drink or food. I think, most importantly, you deserve the recognition.

If you can find a healthy outlet please do. I know this reading is probably chaotic but I think it’s supposed to validate how you feel. There was another that came in but it was a bit of blur so I think that’s a sign to leave this reading as is. I’m rooting for you pile 1 and sending many hugs with a lot of love! 💕

Pile 2

[ Channeled Messages: ‘We never realize how frozen we are until someone melts our ice’ ; ‘We know what we are, but not what we may be’ ; ‘Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth’.

Additional Messages: 111, Broseph (Character from Stoked), Bravery, Strength, Talk, Valentines Day, Take a Break, Focusing on Materialism, Beach Vibes; H2O; Putting in the Work, Babes by Hockey Dad, Safe and Sound by Mr. Floyd Larry, Fire Placements, Sagittarius]

Cards: 9 of Wands; 8 of Cups (Rx); The Chariot. Transformation (Yumiko Kurahashi); The Soul (Emily Dickinson. Jack of Clubs; 8 of Clubs; 7 of Clubs

Pile 2’s, I have to tell you something: I restarted the reading. I reshuffled all the cards and took a ‘day off’ cause my tummy hurts :( and I wanted a break. I don’t know why I had to mention that but…hey, maybe you need a break for the ache?

On with the reading! For those of you who did or are taking a break from love, you’re taking the cool ~ approach. Now this isn’t a mind game approach. I genuinely feel like it’s because you ‘moved on’ from love. You’re just tired of the same ol’ people coming into your life and making you stressed.

I get the feeling you’re taking the ‘Broseph’ (Character from Stoked) approach. If you know him, you know that he’s very chill and laidback. He lets the waves come to him and living life in a relaxing fun way. This could be the way you’re viewing love now.

For some of you I heard “love/dating pool is shit, I’m going to do what I want’, which CONGRATS! You live your life, I’m very proud of you. You may also be taking a funny approach to your love life. I just get the vibe that: ‘love isn’t so serious anymore so might as well make the best of it by taking it lightly’.

Despite these approaches you’re also more selective and will put a boundary up. Again congrats to you! You’re at the point of, again, enjoying your life. I’m also getting a sense you’re putting more emphasis in your friendships. This is going to be a little deep.

For some of you, you may find the love you were missing within yourself through friendships/community. As in, the romantic love you thought would ‘fill’ the hole is not it. It was actually platonic/communal love that you craved. For other’s the love for yourself due to, soul searching’, basically rediscovering yourself.

Overall this is mainly due to people, mostly romantic, not being compatible with you. Like I have a feeling — during the summer time there will be in-depth soul searching. No, it’s not the ‘hippie’ type thing! Unless it could be we never know lol, it’s actually more of transformation of the old you. You’re entering a new part in your life.

Okay this is specific. I don’t know what Valentine’s Day did for you all but for some reason I think their gift to you made you realize ‘yeah…I’m breaking up with you’. Now this isn’t to scare anyone! This is like a 0.1% of you. I just feel like this could be how 0.1% of you will ‘entire’ this transformation.

To recap; despite the way you were treated and the people who were in your life. You’re now rediscovering yourself, your worth, questioning and finding the love you needed. You’re still open to love (in general) but more selective with the people. You’re now or will be letting love find you. Again you’re taking the Broseph approach lol. Have fun and good luck, I’m very proud of my pile 2’s :) 💕.

Pile 3

[ Channeled Messages: ‘If soulmates do exist they’re not found. They are made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they work on building a relationship’ ; Release your mind, don’t become the hurt that they hurt you’ ; ‘Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.’

Additional Messages: 222, 232, 234, Cat, Curiosity, Watch Your Mouth by The Backseat Lovers; Cold Hands; Burning Candle, Wedding Fantasies, Prayer Beads; Traditions; Selenite; Blue Calcite; Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Hearts; ‘Might Have Been The One Vibe’, The Good Place. ]

Cards: Page of Swords; Empress (Rx); Tower. Ace of Diamonds; 10 of Spades; Ace of Clubs. White Dress; Devotion.

Pile 3, I want to say I’m so sorry for what you went through. There’s a sense of heartache and devastation that recently happened. I heard you might have gotten a call or this sudden new broke your heart. A part of you may felt drawn to pile 1 so if you did then please check that out.

My cat also wants to say hello. She’s actually hanging out with your cards. A message popped up in my head: you are protected. I also want to add that your pile is a long read.

For a lot of you I feel that this is devastating. You may have spent all this time nourishing, putting the effort, and pouring your love into something that wasn’t ’worth it at the end’.

For some, not all, I don’t like to bring this up and be this type of reader…but the news may have been about cheating. As for the others the relationship could have ended because of a huge dealbreaker; like traveling or different values. There could have even been a conversation about money that led to an argument.

Either way, there was a sudden break(up) and now there is grief. I’m not getting so much as to how to help. I think this reading is more about acknowledging your grief and a reminder that you will find like minded people.

Another thing; you may feel anger as well. It’s like a simmered anger. It’s there but simmering…it’s hot yet it constantly murmurs. It feels as if it could be towards everyone. For some it may even be towards the world. But for all it feels as if this anger is directed to yourself.

Okay there’s a big select of you that might have been in a long term relationship. I’ve been tiptoeing around this but it feels like you were so close and then this happened, and now what the fuck, right? Basically the rug was ripped from under you. It just feels like sudden devastation.

I’m not going to feed into your anger and your grief. I am certainly not going to bypass this either by singing Kumbaya and lighting up an incense.

Instead, let’s acknowledge this. You may be feeling angry, scared, all of the grieving symptoms. That is okay! This is going to be hard to hear but grief doesn’t fade. It stays, it lingers, it’s there. The only thing we can do is feel it but do our best to not let grief consume us. We just have to take it day by day in little doses.

This may even be a reminder to pour in that love into yourself. No this isn’t some “self love heals all” type of thing. I believe [the right and healthy] community/friendships can help you out here, but let’s not forget to pour into ourselves too. This can be by creating a safe space for yourself. It could be doing things you always wanted to do. It can be gifting yourself something or simply journaling and crying it out with ice cream.

I also want to say the love you poured into that relationship is no waste. It’s proof that you are worthy of love, that you are capable of love. You are a reminder that the love you pour is out there. You have so much love to give and now it is time to give that love to yourself. It is also a reminder that this love can also be poured into you by your friends and community.

Another reminder, because it seems to be prominent, anger is a reminder of your boundaries. Anger reminds us what we fight for, what we need to feel protected. Anger is a boogieman to society, which can become it if not handled in a healthy way. However, Anger can be justice if you learn to dig deep at the root. This is all I have for you today. I wish you the best 💕

If you liked this reading please like, comment, reblog, and share. And if you want to further support me then tips are appreciated on: Ko-Fi ; PayPal ; Venmo ; Cashapp

[starlightsuffered]

Heyyy, could you do a fic about the reader staying over at timothée’s house and getting her period out of nowhere and staining the bedsheets and feeling ashamed but Tim comforting her.

I hope requests are open, love ya!

Thanks For Being You

Info - sleepover, unexpected period, Shame, some mentions of sex, lingerie

I felt giddy excitement thrill through me. I was so damn excited for my first sleep over with Timothée. We’d been together almost a year, but he’d been busy with filming. This was our first chance to get to be this intimate.

I couldn’t wait to be held by my boyfriend instead of falling asleep on FaceTime with him. I was now in his apartment shower. We’d had a candle lit dinner and watched a movie together.

I’d brought an overnight bag. I brushed my teeth, fluffed my hair, and put on a silky nightgown. We hadn’t discussed it, but it would be lovely to make love and then sleep in each others arms. I thought this new nightgown would help convince him.

I bounded out of the bathroom. Timothée had gone to shower in the spare bath. I arranged myself on the bed, legs spread, and tried to look seductive.

I was hyper. I couldn’t even think of sleep at the moment. I was happy this was all happening. I’d felt incredibly sad and tired yesterday until Timothée had proposed this idea.

I waited with bated breath for Timmy to return. I sucked in a gasp when he entered the room. His hair was still wet, and he only pajama bottoms that were low on his hips.

“Fuck me baby,” I said in my most seductive voice. I saw his lips quirk up and he turned to me. In mere seconds his smile disappeared.

“Um, Mon amour,” he said hesitantly.

“Is it the night gown? Is it too much? I know you said I look good in blue but the green looked so nice,” I rambled.

“No, baby, look down,” he indicated the sheets under me.

I could have screamed and sobbed simultaneously at what I saw. I had left a circular stain of red on his sheets. I must’ve missed the beginning of my period in the shower.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could manage to get out. I felt tears of shame begin to fill my eyes. I wanted to sink into the ground and disappear. I sniffed unhappily. All my skin was on fire and I couldn’t manage to meet his eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, c’mere,” Timothée said, dropping his clothes and coming to me. He gathered me into his arms. He kissed my forehead.

“It’s no big deal, I even have some stuff here,” he offered.

“You do?” I sniffed.

“Yeah, for friends or visitors who may need it,” he shrugged.

“You’re amazing,” I said tearfully.

“They’re in the lower shelf in the bathroom. I’ll change the sheets while you get yourself feeling better,” he said sweetly.

I nodded, still feeling a bit guilty. I went to the bathroom. I cleaned up and splashed some cold what on my face to cool my shame. I changed my underwear and put on the shabbier pajamas I’d packed. I looked much more frumpy and tired than I had in my nice mini gown.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Timothée was smiling sweetly and he held a heating pad and pack of chocolate.

“I ruined your sheets, I don’t deserve candy,” I sniffled.

“Oh baby girl,” Timothée crooned. He put the things down and hugged me close.

“I wrecked our sleepover,” I said pitifully.

“No, you didn’t sweetie,” he corrected me. “I’m still going to have a lovely time.”

“You promise?” I asked, meeting his eyes finally.

“I do,” he said. He guided my lips to his. He pressed a few chaste kisses to my mouth. He was sweet and gentle.

“We can still have sex if you want, I don’t mind,” he whispered.

“The mood is totally different for me,” I said.

“That’s more than understandable,” he said, rubbing my back.

“Thanks for being you,” I said in a tiny voice.

“And thanks for being you,” he replied and kissed my nose.

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming

[jayjj7]

chapter 17. realization

prev. | next | masterlist

after receiving the news from haerin about your whereabouts, you get off the bed you’re on.

“shit!” the first step you take is into a bucket, your second step you take to try and balance yourself is supposed to be the floor but you step into another bucket knocking it over. this unbalance causes you to trip onto the floor with a loud crashing noise due to the…5..? buckets around the bed..?

you groan from the pain and that’s when you notice the throbbing headache you have but before you can get up from the floor, the door swings open.

“y/n?” danielle walks in with a first aid kit in hand. a panicked look is on her face as she expected you to be on her bed but instead are on the floor.

“oh my god y/n! are you okay? do you feel like throwing up? are you too hot? too cold? do you want-“ danielle rambles as she squats down to your height to help you lift yourself up from the floor. this is when you notice you’re not wearing your scrubs, you’re wearing a grey hoodie with black sweatpants. as hard as you try to remember, you don’t remember changing out of your scrubs. the last thing you can remember is being in danielle’s car.

“what? no dani i’m fine, seriously” you look up at danielle to see subtle eye bags on her face.

out of instinct you grab her face, tracing your thumb underneath her eye. “you didn’t sleep did you?”

“no i was so worried about you. come i made you breakfast” she brushes off the fact she didn’t sleep much last night way too quickly as she grabbed your hand to lead you out of her room.

danielle had served you some warm stew and scorching hot ginger tea. it was at this moment you realized how…orange…her hands were..?

“thank you dani i really appreciate it, you didn’t have to do all this really” you thank as you blow on your soup to cool it down.

“this is all my fault y/n i have to fix it” her voice is sad, probably exhausted because of how little sleep she got. danielle sits down next to you on her dinner table, tired, one arm is posted up supporting her head.

“no it’s not, don’t beat yourself up for that please” you look at her with a smile to try and cheer her up but her expression is serious.

danielle can only sigh, “i made a doctors appointment for you. it’s in a couple hours” she avoids eye contact, fidgeting with the zipper of her sweater.

“you what?” you drop your spoon in your soup.

“dani is hate the doctors” you whine, covering your face.

“but y/n, you’re a doctor?” danielle has genuine confusion painted on her face.

“but not for people!”

yes you’re veterinarian but you were always scared when you had your bi-yearly checkups at the doctors. ironic you became a vet knowing how anxious being near a hospital made you. there wasn’t anything that prompted you to be so scared of the doctors or anything, no bad experience as a kid, just a phobia.

so there you were: sitting in the waiting room, awaiting your name being called, danielle next to you, trying to call you down with pictures on her phone, explaining the story behind each picture. danielle’s almost motherly demeanor helped you ease up a bit, laughing quietly every once in a while. leaning your head on her shoulder and closing your eyes helped you feel grounded. that was until your name was called by a doctor who had walked out.

“y/n?” the doctor calls out after looking down at her clipboard.

suddenly your calm state was erased and anxiety filled your body as you froze. heat rising in your body, unsure if you should run away or not. thankfully danielle was there to assist you. she was the first to stand up and help you up by holding your hand and rubbing your back. she treated you as if you were unable to move properly but in reality you were just scared shitless.

as you and danielle walk up to the doctor to follow behind her, she interrupts.

“oh sorry only relatives are allowed to be let in with the patient” the doctor holds her hand hand in front of danielle as a ‘stop’ motion.

panicked at being left alone, you say the first thing to pop in your head to counter this obstacle.

“she’s my s-“

“i’m her wife” danielle smiles as she rubs your back.

“my mistake, come on in” the doctor instructs as she lets you both in. your face heating up as you follow the doctor into a room, danielle taking a hold of your hand.

taglist : [ @modanisgf @greenniee @milfcr @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @urwyf3 @flolio @imahallucination11 @pandafuriosa60 @kaypanaq @nnewjeansstuff @haerinkisser @brocoliisscared @starrynini05 @l-e-e-woso @kimminjiswife @herlv3r ] taglist is open !! comment to be added !

[princessbrunette]

barry x reader relationship, wether it’s platonic or anything else else is just something so serious to me now, like i can just imagine reader who sees barry angry for the first time and since she’s so used to comforting angry rafe she goes over and gives him one of her sweet little hugs that always clam rafe down, and tells barry not to be sad because he’s her best friend (he always gives her candy and money and is nice to her which automatically makes him her bestfriend much to rafe’s dismay, i don’t make the rules sorry!)

or maybe something in reverse where reader is upset & hiding from rafe (who’s waving her off cs he’s used to her dramatic tantrums and he’ll take care of her in a minute) and barry finds her & listens to her rant and sniffle about the situation, and he’s just mockingly agreeing with her the whole time, like “you’re right doll, he should have let you sit in his lap, that asshole.” & “How fucking dare he let go off your hand? this is bullshit, i honestly can’t believe it.” just riling her up more and more until rafe finally comes to find her and is like “stop encouraging her., please” bc he knows in her little head that barry being on her side and justifying her actions is all the more reason to keep being bratty, but is off too late now. Barry has made her believe she’s right.

“stop encouraging her, please” NAJDJDJD rafe is so tired 😭😭😭

nah but barry is playing a long game, and whilst you’d never leave rafe because you love him too much, you’re happy barry is around to listen when rafe is being dumb. he’s always slipping you some extra money, pressing the notes into your hand telling you “incase country club ain’t lookin’ after you.” and nodding along intently whilst you ramble about how mean rafe was, looking up at you as he rolls his joint to say “now all i’m saying is that if i secured a girl as bad as you? shit, i wouldn’t fumble it like he does. would treat you like a princess, for real.” and like rafe DOES mostly and yk you’re just being silly but it’s nice to have barry affirm you yk???

whenever you show up with rafe, barry is instantly on you, squeezing your cheek all “and how’re you, lil miss? this one treating you good? or am i gonna have to have words with him?” nodding his head towards rafe who’s already rolling his eyes and pulling you to stand at his other side.

and barry is lovely to you !! truly !! you don’t understand why rafe gets so irritated with him !! it’s because what you don’t know, is he’s holding you over rafes head to continue doing a good job pushing his product. he’s all smiles, until you leave the room and then he’s closing in on rafe like “i tell you what, pretty boy — keep fuckin’ with my money and i just might have to show your girl what she’s missin’… you don’t want that, right? yeah, i thought so. sell my shit and get my money.” before walking off, leaving rafe more pissed than ever, vowing to stop bringing you to his meets with barry :(

[jhoneybees]

Hey there! I absolutely adore your work and I was wondering if you could write a fluff piece with 70s E? I’m thinking, 1975/76-ish. The reader is wayyy younger than him (like, early twenties), and he’s sort of insecure about being “too old” for her? Something real cute and fluffy? Thank youuu! ☺️

Ahh!! My first ever request!! Thank you for requesting! I love this idea so much, made my heart clench :(

I really hope you like it!

____________________

Too Old

Elvis and you have been dating for a couple of years now and your relationship is quite publicly open, especially the obvious 20 year age gap but that doesn't stop you two from loving each other. You adore Elvis in every way and same goes for him, you two couldn't have asked for another lover in the whole world, you both love eachother so much.

The newspapers often ramble on about the age gap you two have and he knows he should just ignore it but Elvis can't help it to think maybe he's too old for you, thinking he can't catch up with you and your young antics. The thought of dating a 40 year old man while you're in your early twenties does seem a little much but the love you have for your boyfriend is all that fills your mind. Having to slow down for Elvis so he could catch up is something you really don't mind doing, you would be sad if he misses out on anything.

You two are usually quite open with your thoughts and feelings but Elvis worrying about his age is something he doesn't want you to know, the thought of him being an old man as he watches you from the couch, dancing with your friends at a party or squeezing your thigh gently as you sit on his lap whilst chatting with the others about things that he doesn't understand in this new generation made him feel so insecure.

One night after a party, Elvis stumbles into the TV room, sitting himself down on the couch and grabbing the remote to flick through the channels on his TVs as you get yourself ready for bed upstairs in the bedroom. That stupid thought of his age is really getting to him, he thinks of you possibly leaving him to go find someone more suitable for your young age is eating him alive. His thoughts get interrupted by you calling his name, he calls for you in a tired tone “In the TV room” Your walking turns into a skip making your way to him, seeing Elvis watching a random dramatic soapy on one of the TVs, you quietly sit beside him. His arm wrapping around you so you could rest against his chest, you let out a content sigh as your hand slips through the low V cut shirt Elvis has on to feel his soft chest hair. The silent moment made you smile, the cosy ambience of being in Graceland watching TV with Elvis was something you have always dreamt of doing as a teenager but a prickly feeling made you come back from your daydreaming, a feeling that something was wrong with Elvis. He has been quiet this past week but you just thought he was just tired which he usually is but you realised maybe there's something else.

Looking up to see Elvis' face blank with a hint of sadness as his blue eyes stare at the television. You carefully sit up and ask him “Feelin' alright?” Earning a quiet hum in return. You frown slightly “Are you sure Elvis?” Elvis' eyes that were glued to the TV looks down at your hand that sits on his thigh, he looks up at you noticing you worryingly watching him. Giving you a soft smile, he nods “I'm alright honey, don't worry about me” with a slow nod you reply with a “Ok” kissing his cheek softly before returning to the position you were in before.

After a few minutes of reappearing silence you begin talking about something that you and your friends have been babbling on about and Elvis just replies with quiet hums and uhuh’s. He doesn't understand what you're talking about so he hesitantly interrupts “I-i'm sorry honey but could ya explain that?” You nod as you obediently sit up making Elvis' hand slide from your hip to your knee. “It's about the Beatles! Lucy was tellin' me about how she went to one of their concerts and told me how much she loved it” Elvis nods, a thought running in his head that maybe he's losing his musical touch and everyone is losing interest in him now.

You continue to babble on, not noticing Elvis' eyes drifting away from you and giving his troubling thoughts attention. Your talking comes to a halt as you watch Elvis look down at the carpet, your eyebrows furrow “Elvis darling…” turning his head to look at you with your fingers on his chin, he smiles weakly “ M’sorry y/n got carried away” he chuckles unconvincingly “what's on your mind?” You ask. Elvis gulps and looks down from your eyes before he gently moves your hand away from his chin, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb. He sighs “I'm too old for you…” your eyebrows furrow even more, shaking your head as you bring your other hand to cup his cheek “Elvis sweetie..” he can't bear to look you in the eye “You always wait for me to catch up on ya…on this young generation” you knew Elvis gets insecure about himself a lot and it really breaks your heart, you want him to see what you see of him in your eyes. A loving man that gives you all his love that you never asked for. “Honey, I don't mind waiting on you… it means the world to me for you to join in on the fun” you smile nervously, he shakes his head “better to just leave me and go find someone younger” you shake your head frantically and a sad “No..” leaves your mouth. Cupping both of his cheeks forcing him to look you in the eye “How could I ever leave you? You're my baby, my honey, my love” He gulps again as he listens “We may have a big age gap but I don't care about that Elvis, I really don't…all I care about is loving you, taking care of you, waiting on you. I'd do anything..” your voice begins to crack, the nasty thoughts that were plaguing his mind disappear as he hears your devotion for him. “Doesn't matter how old you may be I will always love you no matter what” Elvis smiles softly “You mean it?” You nod in return “I swear on my own grave” he looks at you in awe “I love you so damn much..” he says just above a whisper “I love you too, daddy” making him genuinely laugh.

____________________

[baileypie-writes]

i need a male reader with veneer asap i dont care what happends but im desperate atp🛐🛐🙏🙏

A/N ~ Sure! I hope you enjoy like the story I picked out!

~I’ll Take Care of You!~

(Part 2 here!)

Veneer x Male!Sick!Reader

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Reader: Male

Relationship: Romantic

Synopsis: You’re sick, and Veneer insists on taking care of you.

Warnings: Reader having a cold, Veneer being a bit protective, cringe

You felt yourself being pulled out of your dreamless sleep by your ringtone. Rolling over with a groan and a dry cough, you checked your phone to see who was calling you: Veneer. Of course.

You answered his call. “Hey, Veneer.” Your voice was raspy.

“Hey babe. Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.” You coughed again.

“Woah, you feeling okay?” Veneer asked, concern in his voice. As you were now fully wake, you came to the realization that, no, you in fact were not feeling okay. Your throat was really sore.

“No, not really. I got a sore throat.” Before you could say anything else, a dramatic gasp came from your phone.

“Oh no, are you sick? I’m coming over!” His words came out very fast, making his concern more obvious.

“That’s okay Veneer, I can take care of myself.” You tried to calm him down. While you loved your boyfriend, you didn’t want do deal with him hovering over you all day. You just wanted to sleep. But your attempt was proven to be a failure, because you could hear him zipping up his jacket, and grabbing his car keys.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon!” Said Veneer, clearly not hearing what you said. “Love you, bye!” He hung up. You flopped onto your back and let out a long sigh.

“Well, at least I can stay in bed all day.”

~~~~

About ten minutes later, you heard a car pull into your driveway. You knew who it was, and knew he had a key to your house, so you didn’t bother getting up. You heard the door unlock and open, followed by Veneer calling your name.

“I’m in here!” You called hoarsely. You heard quick footsteps approaching your room, then your bedroom door swung open.

“Hey! How you doing?” Veneer asked, clearly still worried. He walked towards you bed. You shimmied out your covers to sit up.

“Not any better than I was ten minutes ago.”

Veneer gave you a sad look, then put his hand to your forehead. “Yikes, you’re pretty warm. Do you have a thermometer?”

“I’m pretty sure I do. It should be in the cabinet to the right of the stove.” Veneer nodded, then zipped out of the room. You heard some digging around in the kitchen, then the sound of the cabinet closing. Your boyfriend came back a few seconds later, thermometer in hand. He held it in front of your face, so you put it under your tongue.

The two of you sat in awkward silence for about twenty seconds. Then the thermometer let out a beep, signaling that it was done taking your temperature. You took it out of your mouth, and looked at the tiny screen.

“Damn, 100.2 degrees.”

“Oh no, that’s high! I’m so sorry! Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? I can make you something-” There he went again. Nervous rambling.

“I would really appreciate it if you got me some medicine and some soup.”

“You got it! Just sit back, and let your amazing boyfriend, Veneer, take care of you!” Once again, he ran to the kitchen. You sighed, and layed back down. Before you could fully fall back asleep though, a question popped up in your brain.

“Does Veneer even know how to cook?”

The question worried you for a second, but you decided that you were too tired to care. You just let yourself fall back asleep, fully trusting Veneer to take care of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[bfiaflbox]

The only time I feel I might get better

Pairing: Matty x Reader Warnings: Mentions of Drugs, drug use, alcoholism and recovery Disclaimer: All I know about this is second hand knowledge and things I googled so don't get mad when I get something wrong. I just thought this scenario is an interesting one and wanted to type it out. I kind of hate and love it at the same time.

It‘s around 11 pm when your doorbell rings. You were about to go to bed and were definitely not expecting visitors, so you‘re hesitant about answering. The doorbell rings again. „Y/n, are you there?!“ you hear a familiar voice shout. It’s Matty. In the middle of the night. Frantically ringing your doorbell. This is not a good sign.

You open the door to a disheveled looking Man who seems like he‘s about to cry. He‘s breathing heavily and fidgets with his hands. „I fucked up“ he almost whispers. Without asking any questions you let him in and go into support-person-mode.

The second the door closes behind Matty, he starts rambling. „Fuck, I‘m sorry, I’m so SO sorry. I'm so fucking tired, I can't think. I fucked up. I don’t know what came over me, I just couldn’t fight the urge to use anymore so I went out and…“ tears start falling down his face.

„Okay, okay, breathe!“ you try to convey as much calm as you can and look him in the eyes. You notice he doesn’t look particularly high or out of it just… sad and tired. „Is it ok if I touch you?“ it’s the most important question in this friendship of yours, however fucked up and complicated it may be. He had to ask before he could touch you every time not to trigger something in you, and you extended the same courtesy to him. He nods and you start to stroke his arms. „How about you come in and we talk?“ and maybe calm down before going to see a professional about it.

He nods and both of you make your way to the living room and sit down on the couch. Matty buries his face in his hands, elbows on knees.

„Okay, Matty, tell me what happened“

„I don’t know, I haven’t really slept in days and I feel so drained and everything‘s too much and I just wanted something to make that feeling go away, to feel some peace and smack was the only thing I was able to think of. Fuck! This is bad. I don’t want to do this again.“ you know the feeling all too well. „Fuck. I couldn’t even score myself, the guy selling knew who l am so I paid another junkie to do it. I'm so pathetic.“

„Have you consumed any?“

He shakes his head. „I didn’t. I couldn’t. I came here instead. I’m sober right now. Please believe me“

„I do, I believe you“

He‘s pressing his palms into his eyes, probably a desperate attempt to stop the tears.

„Do you still have it?“

„Jup“

„Go on, hand it over“ you extend your open hand. He can’t have it near him. It’s like the first rule of addiction recovery: remove temptation. It‘s what he did for you when he got rid of all the alcohol that you were gifted early into recovery by people who didn’t know about your addiction. It‘s what he kept doing for you over the years, being there with you, frequently checking in during family gatherings, work events and birthdays, occasions that were typically linked to alcohol consumption.

Matty reaches into his pocket and produces a small packet of tinfoil wrapped in plastic and hands it over without question.

„That all?“

He nods

„Right, ok. I‘m going to dispose of this in the kitchen, do you want some tea?“

„Yes please“ he chokes out.

You go into your kitchen, put the kettle on and get the opioid disposal process started. How to get rid of heroin is one of the many things you had no idea of before your friendship with Matty, but now you know exactly what to do: you get out a glass from the cubboard, fill it halfway with water and dump the contents of the little packet into it. You go to your fridge and see if you still have any lemon juice left and find some that you forgot you had which also smells rank. Doesn’t matter, it will do. You add the juice to make the opioids dissolve in water like you learned in a fucked up chemistry lesson you would only get from a sober heroin addict and stir. Then you get a ziplock bag and go to the hallway cubboard where you store cat litter for exactly this occasion. You fill a good amount of the cat litter into the ziplock bag and return to the kitchen, take the heroin-lemon-water and dump it into the cat litter. It produces an absolutely disgusting looking brown mass, rendering the opiates completely unsalvageable. You zip up the bag and throw it in the trash.

When you come back to the living room from the kitchen, two mugs of tea in hand, you find Matty laying down on your couch, blanket over his legs. You put the mugs down on the coffee table and sit down on the floor in front of the couch. You reach your hand to his face and stroke his cheek with your thumb. He sighs and absolutely heartbreaking sigh.

„I know“, you whisper. And you do. You know how hard it can be to be a recovering addict, being on the brink of relapse.

Matty seems to calm down a bit. He's stopped crying and you just sit with him and the emotions in silence.

„Thank you“ he whispers after some time.

„Always“ you reply softly.

„Can I stay?“

„You know you can“, you smile.

He audibly exhales and timidly asks „can you please not tell George?“ oh yes, the accountability system. No keeping secrets, owning up to your mistakes, making sure you don’t isolate, etcetera, etcetera. It‘s not an official program, more like a thing you both came up with on your own.

„You know I have to tell him, it‘s part of the deal, remember?“

„I know, but I want to tell him myself.“

„Okay. But I‘m gonna make sure you do!“

„Tomorrow?“ he sounds so drained and exhausted.

„Tomorrow“, you agree. You don’t think you‘d have it in you to ask anything of him that he doesn’t want to do. You’re soft like that for him.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, admiring his face. His annoyingly handsome, lovely face and his slender but strong body. You long for him. And you long for him to get better. If only you could crack open his ribcage and personally fix everything that gives him grief, you would do it.

„I‘m so sorry“ he whispers again.

„I know. Trust me, I know“

„I feel like this right here is the only place where I can exist without judgement“, he admits and it makes you proud that you managed to create such a safe space for him and at the same time it breaks your heart knowing that the world is full of people watching and judging him. But truly, you feel like you‘re only returning the favour. He‘s been there for you through the worst parts of your life, always turning up for you when it mattered. A part of you fears you might no longer be here had it not been for him.

„Maybe here with you is even the only place I might get better… being with you makes me feel less helpless“

„Next time just come over without stopping at the dealer‘s before, yeah?“ you joke but on the inside your heart is burning. You want him and you want him to want you.

Matty smiles and you can feel him relaxing even more. Your hand is still tangled in his hair, thumb still stroking over his cheek. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He‘s exhausted and his body is begging for sleep. „It‘s okay, you can sleep, I‘ll stay here“ you say softly and you‘re not sure if he heard you because all his muscles are relaxing and he‘s lightly snoring, seemingly fast asleep.

You just sit here and watch him. You think about that one time he told you he didn’t feel worthy of any love or affection coming his way which makes you acutely aware of all the love you hold for him, that you don’t know where to put, that has nowhere to go. You wish you could tell him. Tell him that you‘ve never loved anyone like you love him. That you feel like you‘re missing an integral part of yourself when he‘s not there with you. That you love every part of him, even the ones he himself hates, that his vulnerability only makes you respect him more.

It is there and then, sitting on your living room floor in front of your couch with a sleeping Matty on it, that you decide you‘re gonna tell him. Tomorrow. You lay your head down on the couch, telling yourself you‘re only going to rest your eyes a bit before you fall asleep as well.

Little do you know that when Matty wakes up from a weird dream in the middle of the night and finds you asleep in what must be an uncomfortable position on the floor next to him, he decides that in the morning he is going to get over himself, be brave for once and just tell you that he loves you.

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 30

Description: You and Miguel have a talk about what happened with his mother. Pt 31

If someone asked you what happened, you really couldn’t tell them. One moment you’re listening to Connie talk about how inadequate you are and how much better Ava is…or was, but she doesn’t seem to know that? Then you heard her say that you would never be Gabi’s mother, and you lost it. You saw red, lost all your marbles, let go of the reins, every saying, every comparison, they’re all true.

You look around the room with tears in your eyes. Miguel has taken you to some side room in the hotel. It’s beautiful, and the heavy mahogany door cut off all sound from the party.

Your hand is bleeding, cut open by the glass you broke in your anger. It stains Miguel’s suit jacket, and you want to curl up and die. You’re just happy Brett had the sense to take Gabi back outside, so she didn’t see you go absolutely insane.

Miguel is kneeling in front of you, removing the glass from your palm, he’s so gentle, so kind, and you… You’re just a girl with a shitty dating record and jealousy? Protectiveness? Issues you definitely thought you had worked through. But apparently not.

Maybe you need to make another appointment with your therapist.

“Miguel, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I just lost my temper and I swear this doesn’t happen often, and it’ll never happen again, and I’m just so, so, sorry, and so embarrassed.” You ramble, the apologies continuing to flow until Miguel presses his lips to yours.

“You were incredible. Mi ángel vicioso.” He breathes, cupping your face in his hands as he admires you. Trsl: my vicious angel.

You bite your lip, but the tears start falling, and soon any lingering rage has been washed away by the familiar waters of grief. “I didn’t mean to, really, she’s your mother and I should’ve been able to control myself, but she was so cruel and I—”

“She was out of line, you had a right to defend yourself, you are Gabi’s mother. What my mother says doesn’t matter. She doesn’t even know the truth, but we do.” Miguel’s voice drops to a whisper, and you immediately know what he’s talking about.

“She doesn’t know?”

He shakes his head, a sly grin on his face. “No, but she may soon enough.”

You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”

Miguel smooths his thumbs across the skin under your eyes. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it taken care of.”

Part of you screams that you should ask questions, that you should worry and wonder about these things when Miguel gives you vague answers. But another part of you, the one that’s tired and just wants to be taken care of wins out, over and over again, and you just leave it be, content to trust Miguel. He’s Spiderman for crying out loud, the city’s hero, the man who saved you from that thug, and your shitty ex-boyfriend.

“You’re not mad?” You ask tearfully, meeting Miguel’s eyes.

He chuckles. “What did I tell you? I could never be angry with you, never.”

You sniffle but nod. “Okay, but I’m still sorry I embarrassed you in front of the whole gala.”

“I don’t care about them; all I care about is you and Gabi.” He reassures you.

You fiddle with the fabric of your dress, your mind swirling with memories. This wasn’t like you, not anymore, but ever since the Ava incident—no, ever since that text from your mother, you’ve been feeling off.

Miguel senses your sadness, like he always does. He can read you so well it’s almost intimidating, like he’s in your head or something.

He tilts your chin up, warm brown eyes searching your face. “What’s wrong?”

“I—it’s just…my mother texted me a few weeks ago, she wants to see me, said she’s been seeing someone that’s been really helping her, and she wants to make amends. I just—I don’t know, I’ve begged her to go to therapy time and time again, but now…” You wipe the tears from under your eyes, trying to salvage your makeup.

“But now you’re worried that it won’t be enough? That she’ll just want to move on as if nothing happened?” Miguel asks gently, pulling a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and using it to pat your cheeks dry, preventing your mascara from smudging even more.

How did he know that? How could he just pull your thoughts from your head and voice them so easily?

“Yeah, exactly.” You say, taking the handkerchief from him, needing something to hold in your hands.

“Well, you don’t have to go, you owe her nothing.” He tells you.

You shrug your shoulders helplessly. “She’s my mother, even if I can’t stand her most of the time, she still tried? I guess?”

Miguel nods, waiting for you to continue.

“And it’s not like she was a drug addict or a criminal, she’s successful, and people like her, my friends would never believe that she could be so mean because she was always so kind to them.”

“But to you? It seems that wasn’t the case?” Miguel asks, his hand settling on your knee, the weight of it a comfort.

“It’s just, she was my first hater, so to speaks. No matter what I did it wasn’t right, what I said, wore, accomplished, nothing, nothing was ever good enough. She always had a better way to do things, and if I didn’t do them her way, she would lose it.” You laugh bitterly, burying your face in your hands. “And she could never take what she dished out, if I got upset or angry, she’d act as if I was the villain. As if I was this horrid daughter who just took things too personally and had emotions only to guilt-trip and hurt her. It was so frustrating.”

Miguel hums sympathetically.

“So, I learned to keep everything bottled up, to smother my emotions before they appeared, so I wouldn’t inconvenience her. I was miserable, faking contentment as if I’d get an Oscar for it. Luckily my parents saw what was going on, and they intervened, but it was too late, the damage was already done.” Your voice goes quiet, those same walls you remember so well falling into place around your heart. Your sadness is gone, replaced by a chilling numbness. The cold is familiar, though, you welcome it.

“Y/N…I’m—I’m so sorry.” Miguel says, his tone colored with sadness.

You feel that same stab of guilt, the one that your mother drove into your heart each time your emotions disrupted her day, her good mood, her life. You were the one who caused a scene, not Miguel, he shouldn’t feel sorry for you. You messed the whole night up.

You remove your hands from your face, wiping away any remaining tears and sitting up straight, shoving down every emotion until you could give him a perfectly pleasant smile. “So that’s my sob story. But anyways we should go get Gabi, it’s getting late.”

Miguel, like always, reads you like a book, and sees what you’re doing. “You don’t need to hide from me, cariño, I want to see you, I want to feel the full force of your emotions, good or bad.”

You shake your head, already moving to stand from the ornate chair you’re sitting in. “It’s too much, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I want to y/n. You could never be too much, I want every part of you, every fiber of your being, every flaw and perfections, mi vida, there is nothing you could say or do that would turn me from you.” Miguel ties his handkerchief around your hand, all the glass now removed.

“Miguel…” You whisper sadly, not able to meet his eyes.

“I want you, whether you’re sweet, and loving, panicked and trembling, seductive and feisty, or even vicious and bloodthirsty. Every aspect of you I desire, every moment of every day, I desire you. In your entirety.” Miguel professes, holding your hands to his heart, his eyes finding yours.

You love him, you love him, you love him, you love him.

“Mi amor…” You breathe, blinking away happy tears.

“I have always desired to know you wholly, to see every part of you, and I’m grateful you’ve shown me this part, though I’m sorry my crazy mother brought it out of you.”

You both laugh at that, and it breaks you out of that icy numbness, bringing you back to the full warmth of Miguel.

“You’re too sweet to me.” You say, smiling up at Miguel.

He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s possible. Now, should we go get our daughter?”

Tag list: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @blakeaha, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars

Pt 2: @sxnasbitch, @111gltzpzy, @lucilavenxoxo, @ray-rook, @elizamelody, @soapbar99, @trashieboii, @erissco, @gardenof-venus, @vlads-dracula3 , @yaoisenpaiii, @the-occasional-artist1125, @polireader, @mvchmp, @shadowxfheaven, @hxlytrin, @melomichuwu, @weirdothatwritess, @ash-aragami, @deguzu, @angelarcheangel, @nekotaetae, @milohatesspit, @lollipop974, @miggyyyyohara, @itzsab, @namjooningera, @hana-1235, @amberpanda99, @joceymoo, @tfamidoingwithmylife, @itsashree, @battinsonwhore05, @namjooningera, @tortilla-chips-and-allioli, @fluffy-koalala, @fandom-ash, @angelarcheangel, @yuuotosaka3, @latersgaters-steven, @ariparri, @wanda-maximoff-enthusiast, @lycaninelizard, @angelarcheangel, @yuuotosaka3, @allysunny, @lollipopin, @allysunny, @loves0phelia, @caslistener, @tayleighuh, @namtaeh, @freehentai, @hellomrstikbot, @comeonatmebruh, @jacejawp

[upon-a-starry-night]

Christmas Tree Troubles (Nat)

Natasha Romanoff x Gender neutral Reader

Ficmas Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Wordcount: 1.8k

Summary: You need a bit of help getting your Christmas tree into your apartment so you ask your neighbor for help

A/n: The beginning is the same but differs per character

---

You weren’t expecting much when you knocked on your neighbor's door for help with your 8ft Christmas tree. Honestly, you weren’t even sure if they would help. You knew they were home. You’d heard the door across the hall open and shut enough times throughout the week to know they went on a lot of odd grocery runs at 1 am.

But you’d never really spoken much, a few times at community functions and when you’d see each other in the hall but neither of you made an effort to talk to each other. However, that was mainly because you were intimidated by how attractive they were. Still, they had seemed more on the reserved side. Never bringing anyone home or throwing parties at their place. They were a perfect neighbor on paper, but their loneliness often made you sad. 

Initially, you had wanted to invite them over at some point during the holidays just to make a new friend and help them be less lonely but it became more of a need than a want when you tried to lug your 8ft tree into your apartment by yourself. 

So you knocked on their door across the hall and prayed that they would be willing to help you out. You rocked back and forth on your heels as you waited for a response, just as you were about to give up and turn to ask another neighbor the sound of locks clicking alerted you of their presence.

When the door opened you observed their tired-looking figure, they were dressed in casual gray sweats and a loose T-shirt. They stared at you curiously as you stood there before their eyes drifted behind you to the large tree lying on the floor in front of your apartment door. They raised their eyebrows in surprise.

“Hi!” you waved awkwardly “Listen I know this is random and you’re probably busy so you can say no but I kind of underestimated how hard it would be to get this tree in my apartment and I already had to carry this from my car to here and I scared a bunch of people out of the elevator because this thing took up the whole elevator and-” You stopped rambling when you saw a hint of a smile on their face, you think this is the first time you’ve ever seen them smile.

 It’s cute.

“Sorry, what I’m saying is, can you help me?” You anxiously bit your lip as you waited for a response.  Her lips quirk up into a smirk as she crosses her arms and leans against the door frame  “I’m surprised you didn’t take someone out with that thing”

You huff out a small laugh at the tease, relief slipping out with the action. Shifting on your feet you play with your hands and try not to blush under her intimidating gaze. “Yeah, if I’m honest I think I picked up someone’s dog with it on the way here”

The sound of her soft laugh has a smile pulling at your lips. To be honest you aren’t sure why you’ve never tried to talk to her before, she seems amiable.

The elevator dings somewhere to your right and you look to see one of the neighbors you stole the elevator from. They step out and notice the tree lying on the floor in front of your door, quickly shuffling to their door to unlock it as you give them an embarrassed wave. You’ll have to bring them a tin of Christmas cookies to apologize.

“Let me grab my keys real quick”

You turn back to your neighbor only to see the door in your face, you awkwardly step back and move towards your tree to assess the best way to pick it back up. Just as you're attempting to lift one half you hear the sound of a door and look up to see your aid locking her door. She swiftly joins you by the tree, watching as you struggle to lift the object that was easier to lift 2 hours ago. Your arms were so tired.

“We can probably get it in sideways” Her voice startles you from your half-assed hoisting and you finally stand and stretch your back. Missing the way her eyes follow the movement.

You roll your neck to release some tension and fix your eyes on her small form. You really should’ve used a dolly or something, or ordered a tree online like everyone else, but you wanted a real tree this year and when you saw the tallest one on the farm you really couldn’t resist it.

“Natasha right?” You remember a blonde man knocking on her door a few weeks ago and shouting her name until she opened her door. You weren’t eavesdropping you just so happened to be getting some appliances fixed that day and your door was open most of the day for the repair women.

She looks vaguely surprised that you know her name, tilting her head and folding her arms in an accusatory way that makes you quickly explain your situation. You drop eye contact halfway through your story, her green eyes were really pretty but you felt like you were being interrogated when she stared at you like that “And you’re y/n”

You snap your gaze to hers and see the same smirk from earlier back. You had the feeling she did that a lot, like she wasn’t the kind of person who was wrong often, or she said “I told you so” at least once a day. “How- How do you know that?” Small hands disappear behind her back and

she pulls a small envelope from her pocket, extending it in your direction. You notice the handwriting and address as one of your friends and grab the envelope you know is a Christmas card.

“I got your mail on accident yesterday,” She shrugs “I planned on returning it to you today but you beat me to it”

Blushing you nod your head and put the card in your pocket, “Oh, well thank you” inclining your head towards the tree you speak up “Should we get to it then?”

The dip of her head is your only answer and you crouch down to lift your side of the tree, watching the way she mirrors your action. Together the two of you lift the tree and you're surprised at how effortless she’s carrying her side, although to be fair she does look pretty lean in that T-shirt and you’ve seen her in the shared gym a few times.

Kicking your apartment door open, you lead your side backward and begin walking through the door, careful not to trip on any of the boxes of decorations on the floor. You lead Natasha to a spot you had deemed the perfect place for your tree this year and the two of you maneuver until the tree stands beautifully upright in your living room corner. It’s the perfect spot right by your floor-to-ceiling windows that have a beautiful view of New York in the winter.

Dusting off your hands you turn to Natasha and smile, watching the way she observes your decked-out apartment

“Thank you for your help, is there anything I can get you? A drink or some cookies? I have to warn you though I’ve been told My cookies will ruin all other Christmas cookies for you”

She quirks an eyebrow, eyeing the plate full of ridiculously decorated cookies on the counter “Don’t be fooled by their appearance they are delicious”

Walking over to the plate you pick up the worst rendition of a reindeer ever attempted and wave it at her suggestively, picking up a dwarf snowman for yourself and sticking it in your mouth.

Somehow it seems to have convinced her because she walks over and takes the cookie from you, breaking off a piece of what you think was an antler but could have also been a hoof and plopping it in her mouth.

You watch as she eats it, trying your best not to be creepy but eager to see her reaction. Much to your delight she lets out a noise of pleasure that has you blushing and then quickly takes another bite of the cookie. You can’t stop the smile that overtakes your face as she devours your cookie

“Those are unfairly good. I’m going to need the recipe” She only acknowledged your presence after she finished off the cookie but you don’t really mind her ignoring you for your baking skills.

You bring a finger up to your chin and pretend to contemplate the idea “Mm I don’t know, I can’t just go around giving away my secrets”

Natasha squints her eyes at you but the smile on her face betrays her. The lull in the conversation seems to bring both of you to the realization that Nat has technically fulfilled her helping duty and can now leave. You can’t help the disappointment that washes over you. 

You really wanted to get to know her better.

Deciding to take a longshot, you fix Nat with your best hopeful gaze and ask her a question you hope she won’t refuse

“Do you want to help me decorate it?”

Much to your surprise her smile widens and you swear her eyes sparkle with mirth. She shifts her weight to one hip and crosses her arms, copying your earlier actions and pretending to contemplate her answer.

“I suppose I could be persuaded” 

Your shoulders slump in relief and you swiftly grab a creepy Santa cookie and thrust it into her hands. Gesturing to the plate of cookies you tell her to help herself to as many as she wants

“As long as you leave a few for me to give the people I traumatized earlier” You joke and maneuver around the kitchen to connect your phone to a speaker. You put on a random Christmas playlist and start the process for two cups of hot chocolate all while Natasha eats another cookie.

While the milk is heating you make your way over to Nat and lean against the counter facing the tree “So I was thinking we start with the neon tinsel” Nat wrinkles her nose in distaste and you laugh at the endearing action.

~

Two cups of hot chocolate, Christmas karaoke, and a debate about your questionable ornament choices later, and the tree is fully decorated. It’s by far the best you’ve had in a few years and you’re sure it’s all thanks to Nat. Although she was incredibly apprehensive to put some of your favorite homemade decorations on her masterpiece.

  The two of you are sitting on your couch enjoying a second round of hot chocolate while Nat eats another cookie when you turn to her with an overjoyed smile on your face. “Have you ever seen Santa Claus Conquers The Martians?”

Nat gives you an affronted look but passes you the remote anyway and you put the movie on and scoot closer to her.

By the end of the night Nat and you were cuddled on the couch as the two of you fell asleep to the dull sound of shitty Christmas movies playing in the background.

~~

This is my first attempt at Ficmas so let me know what you think!~Starry

[reina-tries-2-write]

The Space Between Sounds

Chapter 4: Finding A Place

SYNOPSIS: After a silent week at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech, someone finally reaches out and invites you to participate with everyone. Are they just being pitying or are you really going to find your place?

WC: 2.8K

PREV - MASTERLIST - NEXT

You were sitting alone at lunch today, as usual, and you had noticed that Tired Guy was observing you. You had no idea why, he was probably just being judgmental or something but you couldn’t quite convince yourself that was the case. He looked almost sad for you so you assumed he was just pitying you.

But your assumptions were quickly proved wrong today.

A few bites into your meal, he came over and sat down across from you with a small smile in greeting. He pulled out a yellow notepad and pencil before writing something down and turning it around for you to see.

—Hey! You know you don’t have to sit alone. You’re always welcome to come join us if you want to. Just tell us how you need to communicate and we can do that. We did it with Toge so that’s not a problem at all. Want you to feel like you fit in and everything. And if it’s any consolation, I struggled to fit in at first but they’re all really good people/panda—

You looked at the message a little shocked. You were not used to people taking the time figure out how to communicate with you, let alone inviting you to participate with them. You picked up the pencil and wrote back, hand a little shaky in shock.

—Thank you. I really appreciate that. Kinda used to not fitting in anywhere tbh. Thing is, I can speak, I just don’t sound normal and hate talking—

—We don’t care if you think you sound weird. Toge only talks in onigiri ingredients so you definitely won’t be alone in the unique communication situation—

—I’ll manage. But thank you for including me. I kinda don’t know anyone’s name still since I struggle with new words—

—I’m Yuta. Panda is pretty self explanatory. I told you about Toge and then that’s Maki. She’s a bit intimidating but nice once you get to know her—

—It’s nice to officially meet you. Sorry it took so long. I’ll come sit with you guys—

He nods and smiles at you before leading you over to the table everyone else was sitting at. He gestures for you to take a seat and you end up between him and Blond Guy— Toge, that’s his name.

Picking up on the fact that you knew nothing about anyone, Yuta says something to the group that you don’t quite catch before he hands the notepad to Panda.

He takes a second and writes something down before handing you the notepad back. In his, interesting, handwriting is a proper introduction and an explanation of his cursed technique. Rather the fact he’s a cursed corpse.

After you read, Toge gestures for you to hand him the notepad and does the same. Cursed speech is his technique and it makes sense as to why he covers his mouth. You hadn’t noticed before since you sat alone during meals but he has cursed speech marks, a snake and fangs seal as he explained, on his cheeks and tongue along with having actual fangs which you found pretty cool.

Maki goes next and explains she can’t use cursed energy which you find interesting. Could you potentially give her some and teach her to use it? You had tried with Mari but it didn’t work so you weren’t too hopeful and didn’t bring it up.

Yuta went last and explained his curse, Rika, and his newfound technique— copy. He rambled a bit on the paper and you figured you might be able to help him control cursed energy if he wanted your help that is. He seems pretty damn competent with it already.

He requests you introduce yourself as well since Gojo had apparently not done a good introduction for you and they also had no idea what your cursed technique was. You figured this would be a good time to explain that, while you were touched by the gesture of using the notepad, you could get by without it. So needless to say, you wrote for quite a bit.

—Hey, I’m Y/N. Obvs I’m deaf but I actually can hear cursed energy. Sounds like how electricity feels if that makes sense. My technique is called Energy Flux and along with hearing cursed energy, I can manipulate it. Give it, take it, move it around, stuff like that. But there’s some stuff that’s important about me you should know. I can usually hear you guys coming up behind me because of your energy and stuff but it’s really loud around here and I’m still getting used to it so you’re welcome to tap my shoulder to get my attention if you need. You all sound different so I’m figuring it out. We don’t have to use the notepad the whole time since I can read lips but new terms and names are hard for me at first. So that’s why I had no idea who you guys were until now. But let me know if you have any questions about me and being deaf and stuff. I don’t get offended about it so you’re welcome to ask anything.—

Everyone reads your message and nods, letting you know they understand and will ask when they need. Toge notes the two of you will probably need to keep writing or typing since you don’t know his onigiri language and that he prefers it anyway since his language doesn’t exactly convey much.

***************************************************

Today at lunch, Y/N was sitting alone again, as she had done all week, and I watched Yuta’s mind race. I knew what he was thinking so I nudged him and nodded my head toward Y/N.

He gave me an appreciative smile before digging through his bag for a notepad and pencil. I heard him take a deep breath before going over and sitting down across from Y/N.

Obviously I wasn’t privy to their written conversation but a few minutes later, to my delight, Y/N followed him over to our table. I scooted over on the bench so she could sit between Yuta and I. She was clearly comfortable with him so I hoped she’d be okay with me too.

Yuta explained that she didn’t even catch our names during introductions last week and that we should do a proper introduction. We all took turns writing on the notepad and passing it around.

Y/N’s turn to introduce herself came around and I was actually a bit excited to get to know her. Figure out how she talked in a sense— what she was like.

She handed me the notepad after writing down a good bit of information and I scanned the page. The first thing I noticed was her handwriting. I really liked it and it was a nice personification of how she would sound if she spoke. It gave her tone and emotion that normally wasn’t present with written words.

She explained her technique which I thought was really cool. She could hear cursed energy? That was, well, unheard of. Not only could she hear it but she could manipulate it too. I wondered what exactly she could do with that.

She said we were welcome to ask any questions and after a few basics about how to communicate with her that Panda and Yuta asked, I scribbled down a question.

—What do I sound like?—

She smiles and takes the notepad back, writing down her answer.

—Like a humming noise. It’s not low like a bass speaker but more like a machine. Soft and not annoying. Kinda nice actually. You’re not as loud as Yuta but you’re louder than Panda. He sounds like a cat purring. Yuta sounds like a storm. Crackly, buzzy, the most like electricity. Maki is a quiet buzz but when she gets angry she sounds like electricity too.—

I chuckled at her response and was honestly happy that I didn’t sound annoying to her. I liked that she seemingly liked how I sounded the most. Based on her description, everyone else sounded kinda annoying except maybe Panda. I loved that he sounded like a purring cat— I was definitely going to give him shit for that.

I loved finally getting a little glimpse into who Y/N was and I really liked her personality and seeming resilience. She was doing her best to make the most of her situation and while clearly frustrating, she was still upbeat and kind to us.

****************************************************

You have a good time with everyone at lunch and after going back to the dorms to change into your training outfit, meet up with them in the arena. They’re all talking together when you arrive and you walk up to join, your notes app pulled up on your phone so you can communicate with Toge.

They all greet you and Maki indicates to you that she has a question for you.

“So, theoretically, can you give someone or a weapon cursed energy?” She asks, placing a hand on her hip.

You nod and smile, not expecting someone to be that interested in your technique.

“Show me.” She requests simply, brows raised.

You give her a thumbs up and everyone takes a few steps back, not knowing what to expect. To take or give cursed energy, you have to make contact with the target entity. You can still repel, amplify and manipulate the energy otherwise without physical contact. It’s just that the transfer process is much faster and safe for you this way.

That being said, you simply extend you hand out to her and she gives you an odd expression. You glance from her, to your open palm and back to indicate to her to hold your hand.

She furrows her brows a bit as if she was skeptical of the experience but places her palm face down on top of yours.

You already know she can’t use cursed energy, you can hear her or rather, she’s almost silent, so you channel a very small amount into her hand. To you, cursed energy feels and sounds like electricity, buzzing and slightly tingly and you don’t want to freak her out.

She flinches a bit at the new feeling, her eyes widening as she feels it move through her per your direction. You donate a small amount of your energy to her and once completely transferred, you drop your hand out from underneath hers.

She looks down at her hand, turning her palm up and making fist a couple times before she gives you a genuinely grateful smile. You then point to her polearm lying in the grass next to her and raise your brows. She picks it up and hands it to you, and upon touching it, you feel the energy flowing through it. It is already extremely powerful on it’s own, clearly compensating for her lack of cursed energy so you don’t tamper with it and quickly hand it back.

Training goes by faster than you could have thought and on your way back to the dorms, you reflect on your interactions earlier.

Sure everyone was nice to you which was surprising but welcome but were they just doing it out of obligation? Were they just being nice out of pity? It didn’t quite seem like it, Toge and Yuta being the most genuine with you. Maki was a little more closed off and Panda was hard to understand but was clearly trying to cheer you up and lighten the mood.

Maybe they weren’t being fake.

****************************************************

Y/N seemingly had a good time at lunch and didn’t struggle as much during training today so I figured it would be a good time to invite her to hang out with us again. Dinner would probably be a good, casual, no pressure opportunity for her to join.

I wanted her to continue to feel included and not like lunch was a one time thing. Plus I liked hanging out with her so I pulled out my phone and typed up a message to her.

Toge walks up next to you, snapping you out of your thoughts, and hands you his phone with a message typed up in his notes app.

—Wanna have dinner with us at 7?—

You smile and nod as you hand him his phone back and he accepts, smiling back.

****************************************************

You showered, changed, and hung out in your room until seven rolled around. You walked down the hallway to the kitchen to discover everyone already there, Toge and Yuta cooking something that smelled really good while Panda and Maki sat at the table, chatting.

They all greeted you in some form, smiles and waves once more, and Panda gestured for you to join him and Maki at the table. You sat across from the pair and Panda said something that was clearly directed at you. But you still couldn’t read his lips yet, or snout rather, so you furrowed your brows and pointed to your mouth as you shook your head.

“You can’t read his words?” Maki asks, picking up on your confusion.

You nod, happy someone understood. You pulled out your phone and typed to the pair.

—I’ll pick it up eventually so don’t worry. I’ve just never exactly talked to a panda before—

You watch the pair chuckle at your message and Panda nodded to acknowledge you. He said something again and you picked up on an ‘okay’ assuming he was telling you it was okay and that he’d be patient.

Maki looked up over your shoulder as you heard someone come up behind you. You turned to see Toge sit down next to you, setting a plate of yakitori in front of you. You flashed him a grateful smile that he reciprocated and, after Yuta served Panda, Maki and himself, the five of you dug in.

The food was absolutely delicious and you tapped the table between you and Toge to get his attention. He looks over at you and you point to the plate before giving him a thumbs up. He gives you a thumbs up back and elbows Yuta who is on the other side of him, pointing to you, his plate and giving him a thumbs up.

Yuta peers around him. “Glad you like it.”

Everyone diligently includes you in the conversation and as delighted as you were to be accepted, you knew you were only slowing it down. Toge noticed your change in demeanor and typed to you.

—What’s wrong?—

—I appreciate being included but I know I’m just hindering the conversation—

He vigorously shakes his head no before typing back.

—You’re definitely not. Promise. We want you to participate so we can get to know you and learn your gestures and stuff—

You smile, a bit sadly, but accept and continue answering questions and typing to everyone until you finished eating. After you cleaned up dinner the five of you migrated into the living room to continue your conversation.

****************************************************

In the middle of dinner, Y/N’s expression and body language suddenly changed. She looked sad and upset with something I couldn’t quite tell. No one else seemed to notice so I did what I would have wanted and typed up a quick message to ask if she was okay. For all I knew she could just be lost in thought but I got the feeling something else was wrong.

I tried to hide my sad expression after she answered my question.

She felt like she was being a burden. And I knew exactly how that felt. The two of us have unique communication needs and while I knew everyone here didn’t mind adapting, I understood why she felt that way.

I made sure she knew she wasn’t hindering the conversation in the slightest. She was actually contributing quite a lot to it and everyone was having a particularly good time tonight. Maki was more involved, Panda was a bit crazier and Yuta was more relaxed. She was helping for sure.

****************************************************

In the living room, Toge sat next to you on the smaller couch and you were more comfortable with his presence than you thought you would be. He seemed to understand you in a different way. Quietly. Intently.

Whatever it was about his presence was comforting in a way and you found yourself relaxing into the couch and social situation more fluidly and easily than you had ever done before.

Usually you were pretty guarded when it came to sharing details about yourself aside from surface level explanations about your deafness and the like. But the group had really put in an effort to include you and you could tell they were being genuine. Not pitying.

As you all settled into the living room, the conversation drifted to topics like favorite movies and embarrassing childhood stories. You found yourself laughing more than you had in weeks, and when it came time to share something about yourself, you hesitated for a second before revealing a small detail about your life before Jujutsu Tech. The group listened intently, their reactions kind and encouraging, and for the first time, you felt a glimmer of belonging.

You slowly opened up to them some, still a bit guarded because of past experiences but you could tell they all meant well so you revealed a few little pieces of yourself. Maybe you had found another little band of misfits.

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 35 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

OK, so it's long and there may be a treat at the end 😉

WARNING: 18+, you've been warned!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut , @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls anyone else please let me know.

George leaned in placing a gentle kiss on my cheek before handing me over to Don. We pressed ourselves together as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn’t say anything as we rocked. I rested my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat. 

I was so tired fighting with him, I missed being in his arms.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked gently, his voice rumbling in his chest I laid my head on. 

“Yes.” I said curtly. “But I’m more sad than angry.” 

“I’m sorry for my cruel words and accusations. I’m sorry for hurting you.” He whispered

“It doesn’t matter anyway you don’t believe me.”  

“That’s not true, I do believe you.” 

I pulled back to look into his eyes. “What? But you said you wanted space?” 

“I did. You basically blew my mind, more than once! I needed some space, to breathe, to think, to wrap my head around what you had shown me. I understand I was cruel and I didn’t handle the situation very well. I stormed off and left you to think the worst, and then I ignored you for a couple of days. And for that I’m sorry, that was never my intention, but you do have to understand that at that moment I wasn’t thinking very clearly.” 

I nodded my head as I listened to him. 

“I still can’t believe you’re from 2023.” Don shook his head in amazement. 

“Hey, shhh. Not so loud!” I pulled him closer looking around to make sure no one had heard him. 

“You’re the only person who gets to know this secret about me. Also I’m not telling you anything about the future ‘cause I’m not going to spoil it, but also I can’t remember most of what happens.”   

Don laughed and smiled down at me. I felt my heart swell, I had been so sad without him that my whole body ached. But with just one smile I felt as if I could fly. The feeling didn’t last long when reality crashed back down, I would still have to leave. 

Malarkey seemed to be able to read my inner thoughts as his face grew more serious again. 

“I spoke to Speirs.” 

I cautiously raised my glance towards him.

“You’re not planning on coming home.” He sounded disappointed and hurt, I could see it all swirling behind his brown eyes. 

“I can’t.” I bit my lip as he sighed. Don was the only person I could now truly explain myself to. 

“If the shimmer appears again, I think I have to go.” I explained to him, but he shook his head. 

“Who told you that?” 

“No one told me that, but I don’t think I would be allowed to stay.” 

“And why is that?” Don questioned. 

“Well, what if I stay and the things I do change the course of the future and the world falls apart because of it. This isn’t my timeline to change. There is a theory called the butterfly effect. It's basically one small change in the atmosphere that can cause chaos elsewhere. If I stay and alter the present it may detrimentally affect the future.” I rambled on as his brows knitted together. 

“But you’ve been here for months, wouldn’t that have affected the future?” He asked. 

I sighed, shaking my head, “That’s not just the only reason I can’t stay. Don, I wouldn’t be able to get back into America. I’m not legally a citizen. I wasn’t born there, I have no identification, I don’t even have a family who can vouch for me.” 

I watched him bite his cheek as he thought. “Surely there would be another way?” 

“Can we discuss this another time? I came out to clear my head, not worry more about things.” I pleaded. I was fighting panic attacks most of the time when I started thinking about my choice. 

My biggest fear when I was younger was death, an odd fear for a child to have. But when your mother is diagnosed with an incurable cancer and is told she only has so long to live, the fear of death is explainable. 

I remember laying in bed thinking of dying, the thoughts were so overwhelming, all the unknown. Suddenly I would be here alive and then I wouldn’t, buried under ground. Would I get to live again, or was that it? Would I be content with my life, even thinking of it now sent my heart racing and stomach twisting. 

I never thought I would have a worse fear. 

Turns out when you lose everyone you loved, death seems more enticing. 

Now I’m back in a space where I am loved and love others, and the fear of death creeps back in. 

However my death has a new face, a new perspective. 

Do I stay and potentially cause so much chaos the world falls around me, killing everyone I love. Or do I leave those who I cherish most, in a world I can never return back to, being unsure if I saved their lives, and never getting the answers I want. 

The choice had me spiralling, and now I had another factor. Don knew my choice, and he knows what he wants me to choose. I know he will choose selfishly, I don’t blame him. But it’s my choice in the end, and I can’t be responsible for more death. 

“Hey, I’ll drop it. Don’t look so worried.” Don’s fingers found my chin lifting it slightly to meet his eye line as we swayed. His hand dropped down to my racing heart. 

“It’s ok.” Malarkey cooed softly, pulling me in. I dragged in deep breaths trying to calm myself before I slipped into a panic attack. 

“Can we talk about anything else, please?” I whispered shakily. 

Don pulled back as he nodded his head. “You’re beautiful. I didn’t get to tell you.” 

The comment quickly pulled my focus as a blush spread across my cheeks. 

“When I saw you under the starlight, I just about fainted.” He smiled brightly down at me. 

“Ok big guy, I said talk about something else not lie to me.” I chuckled, patting his chest. 

“Lie to you. Emily, my god!” 

“What?” I exclaimed as he looked at me incredulously. 

“You seduced me in the middle of war when we barely showered and wore the same clothes for days on end. Even then I thought you were so fucking sexy. And then you come out in this dress all done up. I lost my goddamn mind when I saw you. All I can stare at is your plump red lips and all I can think about is how badly I want to rip this dress off of you.” Don whispered in my ear, his lips trailing the sensitive skin under my jaw. 

My eyes widened as thoughts flooded my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about Don ripping the dress from my body and then devouring me. 

I swallowed trying to focus on him, but the smirk he held as he glanced down at me sent me reeling. I fanned my hot face, trying to calm down my racing mind. 

“Got you all hot and bothered did I?” Don chuckled into my ear. 

I opened my mouth ready to retort when Lieb cut in. 

“You two, let’s go, the bar’s closing!” He yelled. We looked around the room, finding that everyone else had cleared out and the barman had started aggressively sweeping towards us, signalling for Don and I to leave. 

I hadn’t even said goodbye to any of the ladies I had come with. I hoped they got home safe. Don took my hand and led me out of the bar. The rest of Easy stood outside waiting for us, they smoked and talked amongst themselves. Seeing that we had finally come out, they started back towards the camp. 

Don and I walked behind the group, our hands intertwined. 

“I love all of you.” Don whispered in my ear. I looked up at him shocked. “I know you Em, you can’t hide anything from me.” 

“You knew I would be upset about that?” I asked. “I’m surprised you even remembered.” 

“Emily, I remember every conversation I have with you. You are permanently seared into my brain.” He lifted our hands kissing the back of mine. 

It was weird to think he thought about me as much as I did him. I hadn’t been loved like this in so long. I would miss it. I shook the thought from my head before it consumed my mind. I wanted to focus on the now, I would cross that bridge when I came to it. 

********************************

We finally arrived back at the base. Don and I bid goodnight to the men as they all headed back to bed. But Don stayed at my side. 

“Are you not going to bed?” I asked as I nudged him with my elbow. 

“Not unless you’re coming with me.” 

I laughed loudly, trying to muffle the sound with my palm, I didn’t need to wake the whole base. 

“What has got into you?” I playfully hit him as he grinned.   

“You.” Don’s lips fell onto my cheek, kissing me gently. 

“Don.” I whispered harshly, trying to look around to make sure we weren’t spotted. 

“Yours or mine?”

“What?” 

“Are we going to my bed or yours?” He elaborated. 

I gawked at the man, at a loss for words. He didn’t give me a chance to choose, scooping me up into his arms, he headed towards my bed.  

My room was a single bed, with no roommates. The army was still trying to enforce the no fraternising policy, and had separated me from the men. Little did they know I spent months on end sleeping in holes with the lot of them.  

Don refused to put me down to unlock the door, as I awkwardly reached out from his arms trying to get the key into the hole, his inability to keep still was making it harder than it needed to be.  

“Open the door.” Don laughed as I missed the lock for the millionth time. 

“Put me down and this would be a lot faster.” I said in a sarcastic sing-songy tone. 

“Never!” He declared triumphantly as he nuzzled his face into my neck. I yelped, trying to fend him off as well as open the door. 

Finally after wrangling Don, I got the door unlocked. I was going to turn around to give Don a shit eat grin but the tall redhead had other plans. Like a golden retriever on steroids, he bolted into the room and threw me onto the bed. I flew through the air at a great speed, landing in a heap on the soft comforter. 

I lifted my head to look at the man in disbelief, only to find his whole body flying towards me, arms outstretched like a tiger pouncing on its prey.  

“Don!” I yelled in what felt like slow motion as he descended upon me. His lips smashed into my cheeks as he peppered my face and neck with kisses. 

“What is going on?” I tried to pull him back to ask him but he wiggled free as he nipped and sucked at my bare skin. 

“You, Emily, have been taunting me all night in that dress.” He panted breathlessly as he finally ceased his assault. Don’s eyes met mine and the need that exuded from his pupils had my heart pumping. 

“I thought I looked nice, but not that nice.” I uttered in shock. 

“You’re kidding?” Don shook his head in disbelief. 

“You look like a goddess. As soon as I saw you I knew I was done for.” The comments from Don made my cheeks hot. Never in my life had I ever felt desirable, and here he was almost drooling over me. 

“I think you need your eyes checked or something.” I joked half heartedly, Don gaze was pinning, so much so it caused goosebumps to raise on my skin.

Malarkey’s eyes darkened. "I think your eyes need to be checked, sweetheart. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and if you think I'm going to let you talk like that, you're wrong."

My mouth fell open at his bold statement, a nervous chuckle falling from my lips, but his comment vibrated straight through my core. 

“I don’t think you understand the absolute chokehold you have on me.” Don’s eyes bored into my soul. 

Teeth found my lower lip biting gently, but it wasn’t mine. Don had captured my face in his hands pulling me forward to take my lower lip into his mouth. I couldn’t stop the moan that fell from my lips as my hands dragged down his back. In moments his mouth was on mine, kissing me with such hunger it was as if he was starved. 

His hands slid from my jaw up into my hair, tangling at the base of my neck as he pulled gently, causing me to gasp. Don had me pinned to the bed, his weight bearing down on me, we were so close I could feel the heat growing between us. I couldn’t help myself as I bucked my hips up into him, he groaned into my mouth as our tongues explored each other. 

My hands fell to his top, ripping open the buttons of his shirt, I heard them clatter to the floor but paid no mind as I helped Don remove his clothes. 

Don was much more gentle with my dress. He stood from the bed pulling me with him. Malarkey bent down gathering the hem as he slid it up my legs slowly, pressing his hands into my inner thighs as he did so. 

I lifted my hands over my head as he slowly stood, pulling the dress with him. Don kissed me gently on the lips before he removed the dress altogether. For some reason I felt more exposed and vulnerable than the last time we were together. I covered my arms over my stomach, aware of how on show I really was. 

Malarkey’s brows furrowed as he watched me. He stepped closer pulling me into him. Don captured my wrists bringing them back down to my sides.

His fingers traced down my arms, swirling across my stomach as he circled me like a shark. His fingers trailed my skin as he walked around me. I physically shivered as Don’s hot breath fanned my bare shoulders. Taking my hand he led me over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. I stood in the reflection still wearing my undergarments, Don stood behind me only wearing his pants. 

Malarkey pressed my back into his chest as he watched me in the mirror. His lips found my ear as he pressed soft kisses to my sensitive skin. 

“Do you see how fucking stunning you are?” Don asked as his hands travelled down my skin.

I shook my head, I only saw plain old me, nothing special, nothing remarkable. I never found myself to be beautiful or attractive, I was just me. 

“Should I spell it out for you?” Don whispered as he continued to stare at me in the mirror. 

“I love your curls, how they frame your big eyes and gorgeous face, they cascade down your pretty neck to your shoulders.” He presses kisses to each part of my body. 

“Your chest, that drives me wild.” His fingers dipped inside my bra playing with my hard nipples. 

I shivered as his fingers traced down the middle of my abdomen, I tilted my head back into the crook of his shoulder sighing in pleasure.

“Focus.” He muttered, bringing my head forward again to look in the mirror.

“Those curves.” I giggled as he lightly glided over my hips tickling me as he went. 

“Every part of you is perfect, Emily. I will never stop telling you how much you mean to me.” 

Even in the heat of it all his words had me choking up. Tears welled in my eyes. I took a shaky breath trying to regulate my feelings. No one had ever loved me, all of me, and voiced it so openly. I had never been loved so fiercely. 

“I love you so much, Don. I love you so much it hurts.” I let the warm tears slip down my cheeks as I turned and buried my face into his chest.   

Don’s laugh vibrated through me. I raised my head, watching his eyes crinkle at the sides as he tipped his head back laughing even harder. 

“What’s so funny?” I asked confused. 

“I’m trying to make love to you, and instead I’ve made you cry.” I couldn’t help but join in the hysterics. I grinned up at the man as he finally found his composure looking back down at me. 

“I love you so much it hurts too.” My face cracked, I didn’t think I could smile any bigger. I lunged at Don, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him. I cupped his face in my hands as he bent down to deepen the kiss. 

“So what are you waiting for? Make love to me already, big man.” Even though I had asked for it I couldn’t help the yelp that left my lips as he picked me up and carried me back over to the bed. 

He laid me gently on the bed, his fingers dragged the rest of the clothes off my body. My hands found the belt of his pants, hastily undoing the fastenings and tugging them down until we were both exposed fully. 

We kissed each other hungrily, needing to be closer to each other than ever before, like we wanted to crawl into each other’s skin. His fingers traced my every curve, memorising me with his fingertips. I did the same, my lips trailed down his body, licking and sucking as I went. I watched in satisfaction as his head fell back against the bed as sighs and moans left his lips. 

I had never felt so wet in my life, my need dripping down my legs. Through hazy eyes Don reached down between my legs swirling over my core, I muffled my screams into his neck. 

Don flipped us over so I was on my back and he loomed over me. His face hovered over mine as he stared lustfully down at me. 

I wriggled in anticipation, I could feel him resting on my stomach, I needed him inside me. 

“What are you waiting for?” I breathed softly. 

“You.” Don murmured, his voice low and filled with need. 

“I’m all yours Don, no need to wait.” 

“All mine?” Don couldn’t stop the smirk that spread across his lips. 

“And I’m all yours. No one can ever take you from me, they will have to pry you from my cold dead hands.” Don’s lips brushed mine as he spoke, sending shivers up my spine. 

I smiled up at the beautiful man that lingered above me. Who would’ve thought that putting my hand somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be, I would end up with the most breathtaking love I had ever experienced. 

Don lips pulled me from my thoughts as he crashed down into mine. His hips ground against mine, causing gasps and squeals to leave my throat. 

Malarkey raised up onto his forearms, one hand snaked down to between us. I watched him move himself to my entrance, his eyes flicking up to confirm with me I was ready. I bit my lip nodding my head. My hands found his hips as he slowly slid forward into me. 

I sucked in a breath as he slowly pushed into me, I watched his eyes squeeze shut as she held his breath. We stilled together, before he rocked back. The action caused pleasure to ripple through my body. I gripped his shoulders, pulling him down onto me. 

“God, you feel so good.” Don breathed out, his voice thick with need. 

I couldn’t form a sentence as my head swirled with lust. The only noises that left my mouth were moans and whimpers of pleasure. My fingers dug into the soft flesh of his back as he moved slowly in and out of me, his pace beginning to fasten as ragged breaths fell from his lips.  

Don gripped my hips, angling himself so that he was thrusting deeper inside of me. 

“Don.” I gasped, my head falling against the bed as my eyes rolled back in my head. 

“Don’t stop, please.” I begged, I had never heard my voice so desperate. 

Malarkey shifted from his position drawing out of me quickly, I whined at the loss of his cock. My head shot up from its place on the bed, I gawked at the man. But my shocked glare didn’t last long as he stood at the end of the bed, bending forward he gripped my hips and tugged me down to him. 

With my hips hanging off the end bed, Don’s hands clutched around my ass lifting me to meet him. I arched my back as he slammed back into me with no warning. A strangled scream left my lips as pleasure coursed through my veins. 

Now only my shoulder blades made contact with the comforter, the rest of my body was suspended in the air. Don moved in and out of me faster, the sounds of our heavy breathing and bodies slapping together filled the small room. 

My hands found my breasts, squeezing them as Don slammed in and out of me, cursing silently under his breath as he watched me. 

“You’re so fucking stunning, Em.” Don growled lowly. 

In one smooth motion Don flipped me onto my front. My feet were placed on the floor as he gripped my hips. The angle we were in meant that he plunged in deeper than before, hitting the spot that made my eyes roll back in my head and toes curl. Don’s fingers tangled in my curls pulling me so that he could kiss me. His free hand snaked around my waist pulling me closer. 

With every thrust I came nearer to my edge. Don’s lips attacked my neck, nipping and sucking as he went. I gripped onto his arm that held me tightly to him, my nails digging into his flesh, I felt as if I were about to float away if I wasn’t anchored down. 

I whined as Don left me, clutching to his arm to keep me on my feet. 

“I want to see you finish.” Malarkey whispered in my ear, his hands found their way under my thighs as he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him, as he walked us back to the bed. 

Don lay me back down as he hovered above me, his lips pressing to mine as he slid back inside me. I sighed in satisfaction as he filled me up again.

“I love you.” I whispered breathlessly when his lips left mine. 

“I’m glad we found each other.” Don replied back, finally sending me to my finish. I shuddered underneath him as he did the same. With our breaths mingling and bodies intertwined, we completed each other. 

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Chapter 36