#you are a human being you’re gonna feel happy and angry and sad and depressed as shit and you go thru shit so

[craw-dacious]

Thats the art of getting by, by sarewolf

Again, new to marauders. This fic 3 that I’ve read. Feel free to shoot me recs, currently looking for ~100,000 word fic with a good angst balance and no major character death.

Summary: Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter one

I already like the opening quote. Can tell the writing is going to be good.

God the angst is already great

He’s only 24 wild

I kind of forgot just how much he lost that night, like all of his closest friends were dead. Even in canon, with no world star this probably sucks the worst for Lupin.

Okay I’m actually crying already

I’ve been wanting a babyfic since the first one I read

This is such a hard thing to do, parenting is hard without the trauma and sob storying

Chapter two

I wonder how they are going to reincorporate Sirius

And I’m concerned about Harry’s quietness, I feel like that’s not consistent with who he grows up to be

Hoping for some baby Ron and harry content eventually 

I never give Kudos until the end of the fic, this is incredible and I absolutely adore it already

Literally crying from how sad Remus is Jesus

Chapter three

YES love old lady gossip

Neris is so cute delicious

Plus Harry is opening up a lot, so far very happy chapter!

So gay bruh

HARRY BEING SAD TOO IS KILLING ME JUST A BABY FR

This is actually fucking INFURIATING him being like “Sirius never loved us” like BRO I know you’re being LIED TO but I CANNOT HANDLE IT TOO SAD

Chapter four

Now I need to be a depressed widow with a three year old son who loves me

Like I think just having a child would patch my soul

This is actually the cutest thing ever love love love

I think me and remus lupin are the same person

Like gay traumatized werewolf = teenaged girl

“Oh the memories, oh the love” SO ME

YES RON AND HARRY BEST FRIENDS IM GONNA SOB

Damn he’s in love with Sirius fr fr

Can tell this is a shift, so gonna do a small recap

Wonderful characterization

Remus kind of being forced to push forward is great narratively, a little concerned about how it will work with pacing

They write Harry very well, not annoying as children can often be in fic

Chapter five

This is what I wanted, you see James and Lily in harry and remus is just thoughtful and reflective enough to show the audience the importance of this its just MWAH

Oh my god

Baby trauma. He’s so cute and being such a little bitch

Literally so sad, like remus is such a better parent than the Dursleys could ever be but him knowing what harry had makes it sad

If I have to read “angry fucks” again im gonna lose it, say sex please, at least sometimes

YES HE’S FREEEE

Chapter six

God this sucks, like I know they aren’t truly in danger but the emotional turmoil goes crazy

3 chapters till we get Sirius saying it now

Cannot understate how much remus’s pining and distraught connects to me

Like I can tell they were in love but SO TOXIC which, again, is teenage girl core

Not to diminish the relationship, I think the way teenage girls evaluate breakups and romance is like peak human condition and is incredibly poignant amidst the issues of war and death and loss.

YES FUCK YES HELL YEAH INNOCENT INNOCENT INNOCENTTTTTT FUCK PETER HATE THAT SON OF A BITCH

Chapter seven

UGH I know I said fuck Peter but this still sucks ass

When do I get to see Sirius. Ik I said 3 chapters but I didn’t mean it

Damn Petes evil as fuck

The justice in him being DECLARED innocent is so beautiful. I wish that could’ve happened in the books, he died being known as a shitty, terrible human being

Chapter eight

Ok skip this shit and jump to the gay sex I do not want a flashback rn I need TEARS

Jk obviously its important and builds suspense, well written two with good symbolism

Fuck fuck fuck fuck just kiss please I need them to kiss please

Like I actually cannot watch them be fucking roommates ill vomit

Sobbing sobbing sobbing “I hope not” Jesus fucking christ let me suck the authors dick I love this sm

Chapter nine

Just taking in the idea that both Sirius and Harry see each other as a replacement for James in the books, that is such a beautiful like concept with such horrible influences on how they treat each other and I really want to see how its reconciled here, if its relevant at all

Harry with his two dads that barely speak to each other

I do need reconciliation but making sure the weight of tragedy is like there also seems important

But also, please, just fuck already

Chapter ten

Ok remus time to put your big boy pants on and apologize

Like actually nothing will fix itself until you say sorry man

“He’s pack” BRUH harry

Pls having to tell everyone you’re living with this famous not-criminal is so funny I actually am losing it

Pls just be nice to each other for once bruh

Yay!! Nice!!

They’re so like fucked up its messy brother

Chapter eleven

THIS IS SO CUTE IM GONNA KMS

The dog plushie, the memory album, literally everything god I love Christmas

Omfg. Sweater. Sobbing.

AND HITTING ME WITH ANGST AT THE END. This is such a good joy-depression balance

Like its SO SO SAD like irrevocably depressing and filled with grief but also like LIFE and CHILDHOOD and JOY and bruuuhh

Chapter twelve

evil

Chapter fourteen

Basically skipped twelve and thirteen

Jesus Christ

That was gay sex fs

The dementors kiss scene was fucking heart breaking, like devastatingly sad but obviously Peter deserved it

Actually idk, soullessness is so horrific

Then THE KISS and the SEX and everything it was so raw and good and Jesus fucking christ

I want to have sex with eric again bruh

Just so sad, and so happy at the end with the talk of learning to live with it and just UGH amazing I love it

Literally cannot think of a critique atm, im sure ill have some at the end though

FULL RECAP

Yes I know I skipped 16 and 17 and I'm sorry.

Overall this story was INCREDIBLE. I loved the writing style, such a good amount of angst, and an easy to follow narrative. It raised Harry like exactly how I wanted and was so cutey and sweetly and UGH. I will say I wish there was more to the plot than “everyone is sad and trying to not be anymore”While that is a completely reasonable story, it does make it a little boring. But because this fic is fairly short it works out alright. My only true criticism is going to be on the pacing. I am not sure at all when Harry and Remus were introduced to each other, or how far after that Sirius came into their lives. I also think Harry and Sirius’ connection, while amazing, was a bit unrealistic at the beginning. For a child with this much past to IMMEDIATELY latch onto someone like this is kinda wild, but it works for the story so no big deal honestly. I think characterizations were good, not great. However, this is a situation we haven’t seen marauders in and I’m not super familiar with how marauders are usually characterized outside of reading the books and watching movies, so I’d reevaluate characterization stuff once im more engrossed in the fandom.

This is something I just thought about while adding tags, having moody in this fic was nice. He's a character I'd like to see more out of what I've read so far in marauders

9/10, truly loved this one

[mehh307]

Why does it feel like there’s no hope all of a sudden?

Like nothing really is gonna change.

It’s just the same loop of work, same issues, sleep, and repeat.

This repetitive pattern is slowly dis-functioning the brain.

Will it be okay? I don’t know.

Will we be fine? I don’t know.

What do you know? That we keep going like our feelings and thoughts don’t really matter.

That people expectations will always define us as human beings no matter how people would say otherwise.

I dream of having a sweet life, I mean I have one, a decent home, a loving wife, a caring family, but something is missing, the peace of mind maybe.

I figured out that through every good part of my life there’s something incomplete, like every chapter resembles a puzzle and each puzzle is missing a single piece, or several pieces in some other puzzles.

You have a stable family life, you have a father’s issue and a lost in life sister that you couldn’t help.

You start working early in life, you didn’t fit in the career.

You find the industry that you like, it takes the life out of you and stresses you out like nothing ever could.

You find a loving wife and best friend, you just can’t do it to her, both of you lost that sexual spark and intimacy between each other.

You find a good job opportunity, you’re just unsettled and had to leave it all behind to gain money.

I know it’s just life and this is all is just part of life and there’s no a fully happy chapter after all.

I’m not even depressed, angry, or sad.

It’s just chattering.

Anyways, next morning we will feel normal, forger about all these feelings to come again at night repeating these daily thoughts, and then go in circles.

Peace out.

[charcubed]

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc." 

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar. 

 Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately. 

 Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT. 

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?" 

Nope. 

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light. 

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants. 

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark. 

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you." 

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later. 

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode. 

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him. 

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend... 

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced. 

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!! 

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons. 

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry. 

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!! 

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices. 

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

[jbbarnesnnoble]

JBBarnesNNoble's 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Challenge 2021

Hello lovely people! And welcome to the 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge. The aim of this challenge is to shine a light on mental health, medical conditions, and the things that can have impacts on us. This started out initially being a PCOS Awareness challenge last year but through conversations with other writers over Discord, it evolved into a Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge last year. I’m reusing some of the unused prompts from last year’s challenge and adding in some new ones!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The goal of this challenge is to lift each other up, and show that it’s okay not to be okay. Spread some love and light during a challenging time in the world to those who struggle with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, grief, PCOS, acceptance from their families and communities for being LGBT+, and anyone struggling with insecurity.

This challenge will run through July 31st, 2021. It will run through Mental Health Awareness Month, Pride Month, and the month of July to give people time to write. You can submit it at any time. I probably have too many prompts, but I wanted to ensure that there was a wide array to choose from. Please don’t hesitate to message me if I haven’t interacted with your fic after a few days! Sometimes the tag system doesn’t work and I miss things!

The Rules:

1. Utilize resources available online if you’re dealing with subject matter you’re not that familiar with. I’m not going to go all “cite sources” on y’all, but please do make sure to do your research. Writing about some of these issues can be hard if you don’t have first hand knowledge of how it can affect you. The goal of this challenge is to write about topics that we tend to shy away from, that many of us struggle with, from mental health struggles to chronic illnesses to low-self esteem. A gentle reminder that if you think writing about a subject will be triggering for you, please look after yourself first.

2. Use #JBBNNMHAM21 to tag your fic

3. Dark!Fic- Due to the subject matter involved in this challenge, please don’t submit dark!fic. I enjoy dark fics, but this challenge isn’t the place for them.

4. Smut- Smut is welcome! Make sure you tag it appropriately.

5. No inc*st, dubcon/noncon, underage, etc

6. Ships- I prefer reader inserts, but show me what ya got.

7. NO JOHN WALKER FICS. Please. Please no. I beg of you.

8. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! The song prompts have a line from them under it. You DO NOT need to use the line in your submission! It’s mostly to help you decide if you’re interested in a song before you take a listen to it.

You also can alter the sentence and dialogue prompts as needed for grammar, be it altering the pronouns used or changing the pluralization of a word.

9. Trigger Warnings: Use warnings as needed. Fics dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health issues should be tagged appropriately to ensure that readers that may be triggered by the subject matter can avoid the fic. Trigger warnings are non-negotiable

The prompts are under the cut!

Prompts:

Dialogue Prompts:

“I feel like if I let go, if I move on, I’ll only be proving them right.”

“I don’t know. Am I? Because from where I’m standing it’s pretty damn clear that’s how you see me.”

“You don’t believe that do you? Tell me you don’t. Please.”

“It’d probably be easier if you left”

“Please leave me alone”

“Everyone’s got broken pieces. Some have more, some have less. It doesn’t make you less of a person to have those broken pieces.” @nekoannie-chan

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll take that shake now.”

“What’s the point if I’m going to end up breaking that promise too?”

“You sure about that, moonman?”

“It made you smile though. And that will always be a win in my book.”

“That’s not true. And I will tell you that every day of your life until you believe me.”

Sentence Prompts:

Feel free to adjust the pronouns as needed

It was a day. It was the only way it could be described.

Summer had a smell that reminded her of innocence and a time long since past.

In that moment, the world stopped spinning on its axis as it all shattered down around her.

Some things, there would never be a way to understand. @justrunamok

Like shattered glass, in that moment the illusion was broken.

Forever was a lie, just like everything else.

If you had another condescending doctor tell you your problem wasn’t a problem you were going to scream.

They’d say it was easy, like riding a bike. Except, you never learned how to ride a bike in the first place.

Today was going to be good. It had to be.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was going south.

AU and Trope Prompts:

Soulmate @samsgoddess

College

Childhood Friends @tellmealovestory

Friends to Lovers

Enemies to Lovers

Musicians

Writer

Professional Athlete

Teacher

Coffee Shop

Fake Dating

Accidental Marriage

Royal

Librarian

Doctor

Song Prompts:

1. Nobody Ever Told You - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “Wish you could see yourself the way I do. Nobody ever told you, nobody ever told you. Shine like a diamond, glitter like gold, and you need to know what nobody ever told you”

2. Missing You - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “And if you need a friend, I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. But if you need a friend, then please just say the word.”

3. Barefoot and Bruised - Jamestown Story

Lyric Snippet: “Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground. If you get tired and can’t go on, I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you’re barefoot and bruised”

4. Hold On Till May- Pierce the Veil

Lyric Snippet: “If were you, I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.”

5. If I Surrender - Citizen Soldier

Lyric Snippet: “If I surrender, surrender, to the monsters in me, will it set me free?”

6. Home - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Beba Rexha

Lyric Snippet: “All these miles, feet, inches, they can’t add up to the distance that I have been through just to get to a place where even if there’s no closure I’m still safe. I still ache from trying to keep pace. Somebody give me a sign, I’m starting to lose faith”

7. Broken Arrows - Daughtry

Lyric Snippet: “The best of intentions I lay at your feet. And I need you to see past the worst part of me.”

8. Used - Serious Matters

Lyric Snippet: “The wounds are gone and the pain still lingers. But this time I won’t stand by, I don’t need you in my life”

9. According to You - Orianthi

Lyric Snippet: “According to you, I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right”

10. Let It Land - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And everything we hate is something we just bought along the line”

11. Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you”

12. Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “Hold on, baby you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it, and letting go, and no one knows. That you cry but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. And you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”

13. Human Interaction - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “I don’t know love. I don’t know hate. I am numb. Wish I could find the words to say. Asking please, as colors fade. I need to breathe. Before I turn the world to grey.”

14. Therapy - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything. Therapy you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery”

15. Scars - Alison Iraheta

Lyric Snippet: “Do you know how hard I’ve tried to become what you want me to be. Take me, this is all that I’ve got, this is all that I’m not, all that I’ll ever be. I got flaws, I got faults, keep searching for your perfect heart. It doesn’t matter who you are, we’ve all got our scars”

16. Hurts to Know - 1551

Lyric Snippet: “I can’t remember what I did to earn you by my side. I can’t surrender. I’ll fight as long as you’re in my life”

17. Spinning Bottles - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “He’s in a hotel room, with the tv on. Getting lost in the static with the curtains drawn, knowing this could be the time that gets her gone for good, he’d quit if he could. But one down, two down, three down, four, can’t even recognize the man in the mirror anymore”

18. Praying - Kesha

Lyric Snippet: “Well you were wrong and now the best is yet to come. ‘Cause I can make it on my own. And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known.”

19. Jersey On the Wall (I’m Just Asking) - Tenille Townes

Lyric Snippet: “If I ever get to heaven, you know I got a long list of questions. Like how do you make a snowflake, are you angry when the earth quakes? How does the sky change in a minutes, how do you keep this big rock spinning? Why can’t you stop a car from crashing? Forgive me, I’m just asking”

20. Five More Minutes - Scotty McCreery

Lyric Snippet: “Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times. Oh, but they just keep on flying right on by like it ain’t nothing, wish I had me a, a pause button. Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it. Give myself five more minutes”

21. Dad’s Old Number - Cole Swindell

Lyric Snippet: “Sometimes I forget, these ten digits ain’t my lifeline anymore. Every now and then I dial them up when life gets tough or when the Braves score. Sorry about the one ring hang ups, early morning and late night wake ups. It was just me. In case you wondered, you’ve got dad’s old number.”

22. The Other Side - Lauren Alaina

Lyric Snippet: “There’s gonna be a lot of sadness on a lot of happy days, I’ll try to think of this moment, this place”

23. I Was Here - Beyonce

Lyric Snippet: “So they won’t forget I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.”

24. Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

Lyric Snippet: “Like a shooting star, flying across the room. So fast, so far, you were gone too soon. You’re a part of me. And I’ll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.”

25. Amelia - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And you will always be perfect, you’ll always be beautiful, our hearts, will never forget you. You didn’t belong here, and it’s become so clear why heaven called your name.”

26. Heaven Right Now - Thomas Rhett

Lyric Snippet: “When the whole crew gets together, memory lane goes on forever. We twist a top and pour a little Jack D out.”

[mirclealignr]

Since this is very frequently asked of me, I decided to make a proper post about it, that way it’s easier for you to find and easier for me to link if someone else asks. Hopefully this is somewhat useful for you guys? I tried anyway alsjsnja so here! This can be applied to any fandom but since I write for HP I took a lot of my examples for there. But this applies for anything!!

Writing Advice for Fanfic:

Characterisation -

When characterising, I understand it can be hard to differentiate your characters. Sometimes it’s easy to let them all fall into one generalised ‘character’. So here I’m gonna try and help you with keeping your characters separate from each other and more accurate when reading/writing.

Getting the right pet names/terms of endearment that a certain character would say to another character or to the reader is so useful for characterising. It may sound stupid, but it does help.

For example, in my opinion, Draco wouldn’t say ‘love’ to his s/o. Maybe to someone else or at the beginning of a flirtatious relationship, but not to someone who he’s dating. For me, he is more likely to use ‘darling’ or ‘princess’. However, if you don’t know for a certain character, the generic term ‘love’ is a good one to fall back on.

Another thing is, can you actually picture that character in your head doing or saying the think you’re making them do or say? Does it feel forced in your mind or does it seem natural? If it seems natural then you’re probably on the right track. An easy way to do this is by imagining the film/tv show character in your mind and hearing their voice etc...

For dialogue, which I will move onto further down, can you hear this character saying that piece of dialogue? How do they usually talk? For Fred or George, they’re often cocky/confident but with Neville he’s often stuttering and shy. So just keep this in mind when you’re writing interactions with other characters or the reader.

It sounds obvious, but what do they look like? When you say ‘They run their hand through their hair’, well what colour is their hair? Are they doing this confidently or nervously? Body language is essential - it’s something we use everyday without realising, but it says a lot. Really picture the character in your mind and portray this in what you write. We want to know who we’re reading for, not just from the title, but we want to feel like we’re really reading for this character.

Plot -

This will not apply to all writers, you may not agree and you may not want to do this. This is my personal opinion and what works for me. But here goes:

I learned this pretty quickly - fluff is brilliant, I’m a fluff fan, but I don’t write fluff with no plot (or angst either but i see this done more often with fluff) It can be good sometimes if it’s maybe a bit shorter like 700-1000 words or so, but even then, try to think of a small plot. Even if it’s a tiny plot, like sneaking out or baking a cake with someone who can’t bake. It makes the story more interesting and more likely for your readers to continue on. We want something to look forward to.

For longer oneshots, this really applies. I don’t, personally, want to read something over 1k if it’s just fluff with no plot. Keep me interested, will there be suspense? Twists? Pining? Oblivious characters? A problem? A resolution? There doesn’t have to be a resolution, maybe you’ll leave it on a cliffhanger and let your readers decide how it ends. But keep us enagaged.

For angst, it’s less generally done but again, a plot is useful. It also makes writing it for you easier if you have somewhere to go with it. Writing just fluff or angst can be hard if there is no basis for it and it might make the writing experience more strenuous.

Dialogue -

Don’t stress about dialogue. It honestly can be really easy. I know it’s something a lot of people struggle with and hopefully this helps.

Casual dialogue can be hard to get right, I know. Take inspiration from real life conversations. How do you talk to your family? How do you talk to your friends? Use that and incorporate it into your fics. Make it believable. We don’t want to see dialogue that doesn’t flow or seems robotic, which can be easy to do. We want dialogue that seems realistic for that person to say.

For example, when you toalk to your friends, you probably use slang like “gonna” / “kinda”, so don’t be afraid to use that in dialogue - you want it to sound natural (although I’d avoid using fillers if you can). Hermione might use the word ‘hence’ but would Fred or George? It’s brilliant to use words like this, but don’t lose your characters in it. Save these words for your descriptions.

When it comes to more formal dialogue, just think how you would act in that particular situation, whether it’s with a teacher/boss/person of authority. But also, don’t lose the character in the speech. Hermione is probably is going to talk to a teacher much differently than Fred or George. A teacher however, will always talk to their students the same way unless they know them personally.

Don’t forget to use a variety of replacement words for ‘said’ or ‘say’. While these words are perfectly fine to use, I recommend using others too, to keep it interesting but also to convey your character’s emotion or how they’ve said it.

Descriptions -

This is something I feel like writers get so well in some areas and forget about in other areas. Anyway, here we go:

Don’t just tell us two characters are in love, show!!! us!!! — these two people in love, well, are they blushing/stuttering/ being bashful/flirting? What’s their body language like? How do they differ around this person to someone else? When you’re in love, or have a crush on someone, these things change around that person. Most of the time we don’t want them to, but they do which is why we’re so aware of it. Not only this, but how does the character feel about their change in personality/body language? Does it make them more nervous/angry/confused? Don’t just tell us, prove it to us. Especially if it’s the reader that feels this way, we want to feel they way you’re telling us we do.

Don’t just say they’re at the Black Lake (or anywhere else), show!!! us!!! What does it look like? Is it night/dusk/dawn/morning/noon? If it’s night time or early in the morning, what’s the temperature like? Perhaps the temperature can link into the plot. They’re going to this place for a reason, remember, so use this to your advantage. Are their birds? What can you hear? see? Make this scene come alive for us, make us feel as if we’re there. This isn’t usually where writers trip up, but sometimes it’s easy to forget things as basic as descriptions because we’re so wrapped up in the plot.

Dont just give us a story with dialogue saying ‘he did this’ , ‘she did that’ , ‘you did this’ - Where are we/what are we doing/how are we feeling/are we in school? Is it day/night/sunset/dawn? What are our surroundings? Describe what you can hear/see, don’t forget about the senses. Use as many as you can. Make us feel as if we’re there, engage us. Sight and sound are most often used but don’t forget about touch and smell. And even taste, though there’s going to be fewer situations this can be used.

What are the reader’s emotions, another character’s emotions? Why are they feeling this way? Don’t forget, there’s not just happy and sad, there’s anger, jealousy, frustration, despair, upset, depression, hunger, energetic, excitement. Humans have such a wide range of emotion, don’t forget to use them and make us feel or empathise with these characters/the reader.

Alright, I hoped this helped someone? Anyone? If you want me to touch on other areas, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask and I’ll try to help you out. Same goes with something you think I’ve missed on here. Feel free to reblog this as well!

[ninliane]

baby on board - osamu miya x reader

summary: you try to tell osamu you’re pregnant as well as atsumu loosing a few years of his life. probs one of my favorite stories :> (also kinda based off modern family episodes)

---

“Hey so I’m going down to the restaurant to try and close that deal on the Tokyo branch,” Osamu said grabbing his wallet and phone. “I really need this to work out so I won’t be back until the evening.” 

“Yeah, of course. Your brother, his team, and the old team all confirmed for the dinner at seven.” You stated, looking through the cabinets to see if you needed any groceries. As you closed the last one you saw Osamu pacing around the kitchen through the living room, a frown on his face as he looked under the cushions. You sighed, knowing what he was looking for. 

You walked up to him, not stopping when picked up his wallet from the kitchen counter and handing it to him. “You left it there two seconds ago.” 

“Sorry,” he responded grabbing it out of your hand. “This is a really important meeting and the last thing I need is any more stress. I’ll know their decision soon but I just don’t want anything unexpected to happen today.” 

You tensed up at that last part. “Yup nothing unexpected happening,” you held your head high averted your gaze and swallowed. 

“See you tonight,” and he left the house.

The thing is you had just found out that you were pregnant two nights ago. You haven’t told anyone yet as you wanted your husband to be the first to find out as he is the father of your child. The night before you had snuck out to buy another test just to confirm it, and again this morning at 4 am to dispose of the test and box before he could find out. 

You had planned to tell him today on his birthday but the meeting for long-awaited Tokyo branch had come. That meeting could have gone two ways, he could have it approved making his life-long dream come true along with having a son, or it could get rejected and he could break down or get mad if you told him you two were expecting a child. 

You couldn’t blame him, you need to be financially stable to support your family. And since you didn’t have a job at the moment as he insisted he would work, he was the only one supporting you.

Who knows how much one branch could make your family last.

Trying to push the negative thoughts aside for the rest of the morning you try to relax. You eat come of the onigiri’s for lunch, careful about what you put into your body from now on. It was only until you heard the doorbell in the afternoon were you anxious about the meeting. You got up and opened it to see a grinning blond. 

“Hiya sis,” Atsumu waved, “Thought ya might need help preparing the birthday dinner.” 

You sighed and gave a weak smile. “You’re a lifesaver thank you.” 

Atsumu talked aimlessly about his day, his training, and the team as you two cooked in the kitchen. Honestly, you were only half listening as you stirred the pot of sauce, nodding at whatever came out of his mouth due to yourself being anxious.

“So then Omi-kun was all like ‘you’re so lame. my serves are better.’”

“Mhm,” 

“And obviously I was upset because Shoyo distracted me from that last serve and messed up my groove,”

“Yeah..”

“But then I read somewhere on the internet that teasing is flirting? Kinda like little boy pulling little girls hair to get her attention. Do you think he-”

“I’m pregnant.”

You finally turn to him with a worried look plastered all over your face, leaving the wooden spoon in the pot. Atsumu’s eyes widened as he gasped and looked at your stomach, “You’re gonna get fat..” he whispered. 

You creased your eyebrows as he quickly waved his hands, “I mean, wow.” he looked at you and grinned, “Yer having a baby! Samu’s gonna be a dad,” he then let out another gasp in realization, “I’m gonna be an uncle! Oh my gosh, (y/n)!” he hugged you as you chuckled and held him, finally happy that you told someone. 

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.”

“How did my brother take it?” he asked as he pulled back, his hands on your arms. 

You looked sideways and furrowed your brows. “I just confirmed it last night, I haven’t told him yet but I’m planning to do so today, but I’m worried because it all depends on-” 

“The meeting,” his eyes widened in realization. “That’s today. Oh, (y/n) it does all depend on that. But don’t worry-!” he said as soon as he saw your face panic. “He’s a respected businessman as well as a smart one,” his phone dinged on the counter as he picked it up. “I’m sure he’ll be fine- oh my god he didn’t get it.” his face went pale as he looked at his phone. 

“What?!” you shouted. 

“Kita sent me a text, he’s with Aran, they saw him in his restaurant and Samu told them.” 

“No, no, no, you have to put him in a good mood now!” you waved your hands up and down. 

“(y/n) he didn’t get his branch, is that what you’re-” 

“Listen to me, blondie-” you grabbed his collar and pulled him down to your level.

“That is close..” he managed to let out of his throat. 

“My raging hormones cannot take this secret any longer and they certainly cannot take an angry and depressed husband. Maybe tomorrow, but not today! There is another human being growing inside of me so you will tell farmer boy and his friend to take him out for food or so help me my baby and I will burn the rice fields as well as all your volleyballs.” you pointed to your stomach. 

Atsumu looked at you as he swallowed, gently wrapping his finger around your wrist to remove himself “Okay..” his whispered terrified as he took his phone out.

A couple of miles out Kita’s phone rang as Aran comforted Osamu. His eyes widened and looked to both of them, “Aran, can I speak to you please.” 

“Sure,” he patted Osamu on the back as he held his head down on his counter. 

The pair walked into the kitchen and Kita lowered his voice, “(y/n) is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!” he yelled out. Osamu lifted his head from the counter before deciding not to care after 0.5 seconds. 

“Osamu-kun does not know, we need to get him in a good mood before he gets home. Atsumu made it very clear that she has to tell him today.”  he showed Aran his phone.

“Yeesh, he really did.” Aran squinted his eyes. 

“Let’s go.” Kita gestured outside. “Osamu-kun why don’t we get some drinks before dinner, hm?” 

“Yeah, I’ll treat!” Aran smiled. 

“Mmrghhh…” he groaned. 

“Great. Aran, carry him, let’s go to the nearest izakaya.” Kita walked out of the restaurant, making sure to lock up.

--

“Okay, they’ve gone out.” Atsumu looked at her. 

You sighed thankfully and nodded “Thanks, I’m going to take a bath now before the dinner.” 

“Sure, the others are gonna arrive soon but take your time,” he added and she went upstairs to her room. Another notification rang, it was from Kita.

‘I hope she has a plan on how to tell him. Osamu-kun does not react nicely to change. Remember when they stopped selling the salmon onigiri in the convenience store near the school? He wasn’t in top form for about a month.’

Atsumu grumbled and put the phone down. He picked up the wooden spoon that (y/n) had left. Forty-five minutes later the door opened and Atsumu tensed up. He ran to the door as he tried to untie the apron 

“Who’s there?!” 

“Us!” Hinata grinned. Behind him was Bokuto and Sakusa. 

“Oh thank god, it’s just you guys” Atsumu sighed.

“Uh yeah, it’s us. Nice to see you too, Mary Poppins.” Sakusa eyed him up and down. 

“Oh shaddup, you try cooking for a dinner of twelve by yourself!” he shot back, tying the apron around his waist again. 

“Yourself? Where’s (y/n)-chan and Myaa-sam?” Bokuto asked.

 Atsumu sighed, “(y/n) is up taking a bath and Samu’s out with Kita and A-” 

“I’m home!” someone sang out as the door opened. Atsumu’s face paled. Osamu stumbled in his front door his Kita and Aran following him behind. 

“You got him drunk?!” Atsumu yelled at his upperclassmen. 

“I didn’t think he would! He had one sip and he just went like that!” Aran defended, he then lowered his voice “It probably added up the cause of you know what.” 

“Okay, I’ll deal with you later,” he put his hand up and went to Osamu who now stood still, crossing his arms. “Samu, someone is about to tell you very important news that will affect you for the rest of your life, so for once I need you to-” 

“Yeah I didn’t get the branch!” he yelled out. “I don’t care anymore! I don’t want anything to change anymore! I’m fine with the Hyogo branch, I don’t need anything else. In fact, the last thing I need is more stress for the rest of the year,”

 Atsumu’s anxiety went up has his brother yelled in the room. “Tsumu I’m tired, I just wanna go on a vacation and relax. The shop is fine, I can just take a trip to Okinawa or Hokkaido, just relax for the rest of my life with no responsibilities…”

 “If that’s how you feel then I don’t need you to take care of this baby!” 

The boys looked up to see (y/n) up in the stairwell, clearly mad. Bokuto let out a loud gasp, but no one seemed to scold him as they were all in shock. Osamu face turned into one that no one could read. 

“What?” he cocked his head. 

“If you want to be sad and mope around because you lost one branch then fine, I can do this on my own!” You yelled as you pointed to your stomach and walked down to the foot of the stair case. 

He looked down there for a moment before realization hit his face, “You’re pregnant…?” he asked softly. 

“Yes.” you stated firmly, “And if you’re not going to be here then I can do this myself! I’ve taken care of toddlers as a teacher and I can do it again!” Osamu slowly walked towards (y/n) as her eyes welled up in frustration. Atsumu’s anxiety rose up again. “Well?” you asked tightening your fists. 

“That’s the greatest news I’ve ever heard.” he looked at her with the most sincere eyes. 

Your expression softened a bit “Really?” 

“You tell me I don’t get another branch and yeah its frustrating, but telling me that I’m actually going to have a kid, a human mix of you and me?” his face looked worried but his emotions were sincere. “That would’ve made me a thousand times happier than claiming some branch.” Tears finally welled up in your eyes as he smiled at you, his eyes watering up as well as he held you tightly. 

The applause was around the room as they congratulated the couple, and though Atsumu felt like he lost a couple of years due to the afternoon, he couldn’t be happier as he hugged the parents of his nephew and/or niece.

[calypsoff]

Ninety Five.

My smile grew, just being back in Barbados really just makes me happy. My home, my country. I feel so much at peace too when I’m home, I am just glad to be back and to be with my family so I can heal from the bullshit. I am not happy with how things have been, how I have been, and I’ve not been good. Just catching up with calls, texts and emails let’s just say Tina and Jen have done their best. Nobody knew mentally I was going through some shit, besides Chris, that is because I rather be with him than anyone else. I knew in my heart that Chris would have protected me at all costs; so yes I made sure that if I am having this breakdown that it was with the man I love. I would be lying to myself if I wasn’t nervous when I said what I said to chris, I wasn’t sure if chris was going to decide to stick by me or go his own way, I would have let him go but I would be extra hurt by all of it. I am just so glad to be in Barbados, our first night here and my mother should be arriving today, I am so nervous for her arrival because she is going to be doing the most, I know my mother. She’s going to be telling me how bad I am, but she isn’t wrong either, I was being selfish, or I wasn’t thinking but I was going through a breakdown, she needs to understand that part of it but we are here, I am here with my family. Rajad is here, so is Mel, but the rest of the family will be coming today, soon actually. I think the best thing I can do is clean the house for my mother, I am awake early anyways. I am awake reflecting on life, reflecting on things I have done wrong. I just need to see my dad, get that already dealt with but it’s been the most painful experience for me, to mourn a father I’ve always wanted. I wanted that, I wanted a dad that loves me, but I am over it, I will be better than ever. Walking back into the bedroom, I have been on the balcony taking in Barbados, my home but I need to start cleaning. I’m home now so I need too, looking over at Chris asleep in bed, I swear that husband of mine knows when I have left the bed he’s on his stomach laid out in bed, all comfy too. He looks happier anyways, looking over into the crib and my daughter is asleep still, both of my babies are at peace anyways.

I feel much happier, content I would say since I have mourned what I didn’t really have, it’s a hard pill to swallow and nobody will really understand what I went through because it’s my issue, it’s my pain. I hate that people think that I should accept and get over it, that doesn’t make sense to me at all. Why should I accept, why should I just not mourn something I have wanted all my life, it’s my right and I hate that my mother is going to say I taught you better than that, she’s gonna say it and I know it but I am cleaning the home, I hope the cleaning makes up for it, I appreciate my mother so much so what she has to say I will need to accept and let her say it, she will say things to upset me but she does it because she cares, I know she does care about me and I appreciate that so much. I just need to close that chapter in my life, I want to move forward with my husband and child, I want to know that I did try with him. My dad did this to me, but we will see what happens “kind of turns me on when you’re cleaning” looking up from the floor, Chris is awake holding Rylee “so you like me on my hands and knees?” He’s an ass “a little, why are you scrubbing? Since when does a millionaire do this?” Chris crouched down to me “since I have a mother that is backwards and would still beat my ass” I laughed “that is kind of funny to hear but you need help?” Shaking my head “I don’t, I mean I could have got cleaners to come but I want my mother to feel sorry for me” I laughed hoping it worked “you’re so sly, what is she like Rylee. We are hungry by the way” side eying Chris “you know where the kitchen is, I’ll feed you. Just wait” men are annoying, staring at my face for food. He’s literally stood in the kitchen he could make the food himself, but I know that his excuse will be he’s taking care of Rylee, of course so I will leave it.

I made Chris his breakfast, like the good housewife I am. I mean it’s just pancakes but it’s something for him, he is really eating all of it up. I must have made them nice, looking down at Rylee on my lap, she keeps slapping the dining table to get Chris’ attention and it is working, Chris is giving her all the attention she wants “you want daddy attention?” Chris looked at Rylee, she got all happy smiling at him the goofy girl she is “are you nervous for your mom coming? I see you a lot lighter, like you are happy. I know Barbados is your happy place” nodding my head smiling “this is my home; I just love it. I get away from all the drama which is California and New York, it’s away from work. I am also feeling ashamed of how I was, me as a person I wasn’t good. I was being selfish of me, yes I was going through something, but I was neglecting her, you. It was wrong of me” Chris shook his head “Robyn, if you aren’t feeling yourself. If you aren’t happy and you are depressed you ain’t going to be the person you want to be, I mean yes you could have dealt with this in a better manner, you could have said I want to go away for a while, but you didn’t. It happened, but I don’t want you to be ashamed of yourself or anything ok?” Chris is too good “thank you poppa” I said in a whisper “I think it’s something we both needed, we needed to learn. I got you, I see a brighter future for us, I feel we are going to be stronger then ever. We are all human so yeah, let’s just move on. Let’s do this together, we are just going to grow as a family anyways so yeah, be strong with maniac Monica” I gasped “Chris” he isn’t shit, but my mother can be like that.

I thought I would continue my cleaning; Chris is spending time with Rylee so here I am doing this kitchen still. I am honestly trying to get on my mothers’ best side, it’s not even the point that I am scared of her, I just respect her. She has been the best mother she can be to us all; she has tried to protect me from Ronald, but I never listened, that is just me. Stupid me I guess “I love Barbados Chris, of course I was going to come. I love it here” my ears perked up; they are here. I am nervous “yeah, well the maid is here. Don’t mind her mother, she is not in a good mood so please don’t look her way” Chris is an ass “oh the maid, she was lovely the last lady we met” I swear Chris can be so annoying “I know, she is cute though. Like honestly, she is so sexy, don’t tell Robyn that” they are taking their time to come in “son, what did I say. Don’t say these things” Joyce gasped “Chris, you are so stupid. Clinton he is being stupid” rolling my eyes “that husband of mine” walking around the counter “awww you’re cleaning, it’s so good to see you” Joyce came to me and gave me the biggest hug, I love her hugs “same, I am glad you both could come” moving back from the hug “you didn’t need to clean for us, come here” Clinton hugged me, I always get all giddy inside when Clinton shows me his caring side, a father figure to me “how are you feeling?” he asked, nodding my head “I am getting by, I am happy you are all here” I mean that too.

I am wondering where my mother is, everyone has come to the kitchen now to see me. I am here looking a mess for sympathy “why do you look a mess?” Mel asked staring me up and down “oh don’t pay her any mind, I mean we know what she can be like” Chris will not drop that, I think for me that is a good idea and it worked, he is a hater “what is the joke?” Joyce asked, I chuckled looking at Chris “nothing” I giggled and then busted out laughing “you!” feeling Chris’ arm snake around me “you are a pain in the butt” I am not going to lie but I find it funny “awww well I am glad you are laughing, whatever is funny to you both” Joyce is confused clearly, lifting my head up “home sweet home, I am glad to be back” oh my mother is here “Robyn was cleaning” Mel side eyed me and walked off “I love your home so much” Joyce complimented “you ok the both of you” my mom looked at me and then Chris, she is checking her kitchen out. This is her baby right here “Robbie can we talk” those dreaded words “oh goodie” I said under my breath “oh but you’re not dressed, you haven’t even washed your wash because you have been cleaning” looking behind me at Chris trying to make out I have been that hard at work “the dining table isn’t clean” my mother pointed out, looking back at Chris again, I told him to bring the plates “you!” I pointed at him, he laughed pointing back at me, looking ahead at my mom feeling like a naughty school child right now.

I am going to be not weak; I need to just take it and accept what she will say or not say. She may just be sad for me or be very angry and say how useless I am, but we shall see “I have missed Barbados” closing the door behind me “I have been wanting you to come home too, I am glad to have my daughter home” smiling lightly “yeah” I dragged out, this is so awkward because I just want it over with “I am not going to be angry at you, I am just not happy with how you left Rylee. I have been through the worst of the worst Robbie, but I never left any of you kids, I never turned my back on my kids because that is a Mother Robyn. Rylee needed you, she needed you so much no matter what the circumstances, your father should never ever stop you being a mother because he didn’t stop me Robyn, I taught you to be a better person, a stronger person. I have said and said again that man will bring you down, so what happened Robyn. What was your mindset then? Ronald is no good unless he is gaining and you know that” sitting down on the couch “I do but it wasn’t just that mom, I had so much more going on. You know I did; he just broke me, and I needed space that was it” I said defending myself “that’s it huh? You were acting crazy, and I did not raise that. Ronald doesn’t deserve this from you” now I am getting sad, putting my head down “he has always hurt me, I just wanted a dad” placing my hand over my mouth, trying to supress my cry “I know that I know what you want but he is no good to you. I am not going to shout at you, but I want you to be stronger than that, you don’t need to act that way, you’re a married woman and a mother. I just want you to be the woman you are, I am so glad you have a husband that is supportive of you. He was straight there on social media supporting you, I don’t want you to be drinking either, none of that” nodding my head, I know that this could have been worse “I am going to confront dad, I need to close the book” my mother looked at me in sadness as I looked at her “I am sorry baby” that was it, I am crying now “I just wanted better mom” she came over to hug me.

My mother pressed a kiss to my cheek “now you don’t worry about that man, let’s spend some time as a family” nodding my head “I will, thanks for not going full throttle on me” I know she could have been worse, my mother chuckled “get yourself out of those clothes, you not no cleaner now” I think it worked, she did feel sorry for me. Walking to the living room, I can hear everyone talking here “hey” looking at Chris, he is checking me out “I am alive” I laughed it off, my daughter is the most excited thing. Since she has been not well I feel like my daughter has lost her weight, I hate that for her, but she is still my little chunky “you good?” Chris asked, taking Rylee from Chris “yeah I am good, you happy to be home” pressing a kiss to her cheek “I was thinking we should try for a boy, what you think?” I huffed out side eyeing Chris “boy please, talking about a boy” walking off with Rylee “I am being deadass” sitting next to Mel “I think someone is asking for sex more then anything” I know what he is asking, I am not that stupid “I don’t think so, tell him Rylee. Say no more siblings, leave mommy alone” turning her to me “oh my gosh, you look so damn cute” standing her up facing me “you think she has lost weight; she has hasn’t she? It’s when she was unwell” she was my little fatty “she really has, but I won’t front. You both do make beautiful babies, so you need to reproduce again” rolling my eyes, I don’t need Mel agreeing to him.

Now we are in Barbados Chris is pestering me about sex “you want me to put you to sleep?” glaring at him, Chris just stared at me, and I tried to supress my smile “anything, I don’t mind” he wants to impregnant me, I don’t think so “rape me, I don’t mind” I gasped “what is wrong with you” Chris moved back from me looking behind me “dad” he said, oh no wonder he is quiet “I am glad you’re here, he is quiet” shuts him up about it anyways “yeah, I was thinking if you want to take me around Barbados” staring at Chris, I know his ass won’t want to do anything but be under me “you’re so rude, my dad is speaking to you” Chris said, pointing at myself in shock looking behind me “oh me?” I said in shock “yeah, not my stupid son. I was thinking if you want to show me Barbados and I can pay for a meal for us? Be nice to spend time with you, like old times. Minus Chris of course” I am shook “really?” I am shocked “yes, whenever you want. Just me and you” my face softened, I am shocked that Clinton wants to take me out “awww how boring” shushing Chris, he is so rude “aww yes, oh my god. I will get my clothes on, get Rylee changed” getting up from the chair “oh no, just us two” I thought he would want Rylee “oh ok, that’s fine” I am excited about this.

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Notes: First of all thank you so much to everyone who is reading this story even without leaving comments, likes, kudos, than thank you to everyone who gave me their feedback. It realy means the world to me. This chapter is dedicated to @gingerhead007 who took me on a little tour in Antwerp on Robbe’s birthday. You’re a sweetheart, thank you so so so much!

Chapter 6

Lucas and Jens were holding hands, walking toward a new place that Jens had discovered a few weeks ago, thanks to his classmates.

He was so excited about it, that he had told everyone about it, even his mother, probably.

That evening he had managed to drag his boyfriend with him, who had somehow persuaded Sander to tag along. But then again, Lucas could sell ice to the Eskimos, if he wanted to.

Since Jens slipped in front of him that Robbe had started dating again, Sander's mood had become darker than usual, and it certainly wasn't doing him any good. Lucas was worried about his best friend, and therefore he convinced him to take an evening off from parenting, despite Sander claiming, that Hero was the only one, that was still making him happy. As soon as the babysitter arrived, the three were out of the house, before Sander could change his mind for the hundredth time in just five minutes.

“You can still kiss in front of me. I won’t get depressed. Although, Jens, since you are the one who has to kiss Lucas..."

Lucas rolled his eyes, pretending to be offended by that remark. He was happy that, despite everything, his best friend still managed to be at least a little himself.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny."

"I told you he would notice."

As for PDAs, Lucas and Jens were second only to Robbe and Sander. Not seeing them kissing, for more than two minutes, would have made anyone suspicious. In this case, even Sander who had his head somewhere else.

Arriving at the club, which wasn’t far from the building, where Jens had most of the classes, Sander and Lucas immediately understood why he was so enthusiastic about it. It was full of musical instruments, some were rare and had belonged to famous artists, others simply had unusual shapes or colors. The place was built on three levels, each of them was divided into two more rooms, which had different musical genre as a theme. Jens was studying sound technology and wasn’t at all as picky as Sander in terms of music, so he explained to the others, that depending on his mood, he always chose a different room, and that he had never been disappointed before.

Since he could be considered an expert on the subject, Sander and Lucas let him choose the room for the evening. Jens thought about it for a few seconds and then invited them to follow him.

"I want you to wear a shirt with my face on it when you come here without me."

The chosen place was the one dedicated to the LGBTQ + community and it was beautiful, colorful, and fun. Full of prints dedicated to films, musicals, or artists who had made the movement’s history. The speakers were blasting "I'm coming out" by Diana Ross and Sander was suddenly feeling great. He took Lucas's hand and spun him around, making him laugh.

“I'm going to get some beers.”

Jens gave Lucas a quick peck on the lips and walked to the bar. The place was quite busy because it was Friday night after all, however, finding a table was easier then they thought.

"How about that– shitshitshitshitshit."

Sander frowned, looking at his best friend, who had suddenly turned around and was still cursing under his breath.

"Luc, what the..."

Then he understood.

Robbe was sitting near one of the tables they had eyed and he wasn't alone.

Sander turned his back quickly, as Lucas peered in the previous direction.

“He saw us. He's waving. What the hell? Why is he waving? I'm gonna go there and make a scene."

It was like if everything was going at the speed of light around him, as he stood still in the middle of that room, unable to make any move. He should have tried to stop Lucas, who was taking the matter personally. He and Robbe had become friends over the years, but apparently, the friction had never been completely forgotten, at least by his best friend. Luckily, Jens’s arrival was able to bring Sander back to the present moment, and Lucas and his anger weren’t his problems anymore.

“Look! It's Robbe! I'm glad he came here to see this place as I told him."

"YOU WHAT? I WANTED TO CHILL WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU INVITED HIS EX?”

"I didn’t invite him."

Jens looked extremely sorry, even though it wasn’t his fault. When the universe wanted to rage against someone, there was nothing one could do, except stay in the midst of the hurricane and hope to get as little harm as possible.

"It's fine. Let’s go there and just say hi. "

"I'm gonna go there just to bitch-slap him."

"Easy-peasy, tiger."

"Jens. I swear. If you call me tiger once again in public...”

Sander took a beer from Jens' hands and swallowed half of it in one sip. He was trying to prepare himself for the moment he was carefully avoiding for months.

He walked with his head held high towards Robbe and waved at him, trying to smile in the most relaxed and genuine way.

"Hey."

He heard Jens and Lucas’ voices greet him as well. His best friend's hand slipped into his and squeezed it. Sander couldn't be more grateful to him now.

"Hi, guys!"

Robbe was tense and Sander could tell it from the way he was scratching his arm. It was something he always did when he was nervous, and Sander hated himself for still noticing it.

"Noah, those are my best friend Jens and his boyfriend Lucas, and he is Sander my ex."

That’s what death by a thousand cuts feels like.

He found himself thinking while listening to the words "my ex". And it's funny how the human brain works because if you’d asked him, Sander would have sworn to you that he had never listened to Taylor Swift in his entire life, and yet the lyrics from that song got unconsciously stuck in his head, and they were the first thought that came into his mind at that moment.

He was hurting very badly, thus he tried to shift his attention to Robbe's new boyfriend, to distract himself. Noah was tall, with black hair, dark eyes, and full lips. He looked like Jens' cheap imitation, and it made Sander lose his mind because he thought Robbe's crush for his best friend was just something that belonged to the past. Instead, his type looked more like Jens than him. How great.

“Oooh! That Sander? The one with the baby?”

"Yeah."

He felt the strong urge to roll his eyes because now that Noah had opened his mouth, a single sentence was enough for him to sound like a perfect idiot. Sander swallowed the rest of his beer, immediately wanting another one. There was no way he could get over that night, being completely sober.

"That’s so cool, man! I love babies."

"I don't. I just love Hero, my son."

"You called him Hero? Duuude! You're a savage."

That was the cue he was waiting for to end the conversation. One thing was to be the idiot Robbe was dating, another was to hear him talk about Hero in that way.

“Okay. I'm out. I’ll go grab another beer.”

He was ready to walk away as fast as he could when he felt a feather-light hand rest on his shoulder. He could recognize that touch anywhere, feeling his body being drawn to it almost like a magnet, and start craving for more. So much more.

"You know you shouldn't drink. It fuck up with your-”

"It fucks up with your what? Are you still taking-"

Like a beautiful, fragile bubble that suddenly bursts, the peace that Robbe's touch had restored inside of him was abruptly cut off, making him feel something new. Anger. He turned back to face him, his gaze was sharp, his jaw clenched. It was again just the two of them, in a silent conversation, but this time, it was completely different from the many they had in the past. There was no need to express his thoughts out loud.

Not if Robbe was involved.

And it was over.

He didn't care about Lucas, Jens, Robbe, or that whole damned place.

He just wanted to leave.

Disappear.

“Sander wait! I'm sorry!"

Sander felt suffocated. He had never been so angry. Robbe had just told everyone he was still taking his anxiety medication. It was something only his parents and Robbe knew. He didn't think that the deep trust he had in Robbe should have vanished the moment they broke up. Sander thought that the other would always stay the same, but perhaps he had idealized him from the beginning. Robbe had talked about Hero to Noah, the first asshole who stopped by, and who knows how many other secrets he had revealed. Sander had entrusted him with his greatest fears and desires, trusting him blindly. He felt nauseated, angry, and sad. That evening had been a huge mistake from the beginning and now he just wanted to drink until he passed out. He wished to forget everything, his problems, and himself.

Then something made him focus on Hero, just as the bartender asked him what he wanted to drink.

"Water, please."

The thought of Hero brought him back to earth. He couldn't let himself go. He couldn't go home completely wasted and not be able to take care of himself and his baby. He had to keep himself stable, lucid, healthy for him. Sander realized at that moment, that despite everything, somehow, Hero’s presence was taking care of him. It was preventing him from drowning into the sadness and despair of having lost the love of his life. He had kept taking his medications, eating healthy, studying and attending classes, only thanks to that tiny angel, who was saving him every day.

He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold air outside the club.

He drank from the bottle he had just bought and started walking home, hoping to clear his mind.

Once he arrived at his house and dismissed the babysitter, he immediately made his way to Charlotte's old room, that he had turned into Hero’s bedroom. Sander had changed the color of the walls and drawn animals everywhere. The only trace of his sister, he hadn’t been able to erase was the poem by Rupi Kaur written on the wall with a black marker.

Seeing Hero asleep in his crib gave him the usual peaceful feeling. He stroked his hair, touching his cheek with his fingers.

Just a year ago, he saw Charlotte's belly grow and wondered how his sister would raise that baby, and yet, at that moment, Hero was his everything. He clung to him and his presence as the only thing that was keeping him sane. Most of the time it was easy, but tonight, after seeing Robbe in someone else's arms, everything had become more difficult. He didn’t even know how he hadn’t started screaming in the middle of the club. He felt like he was dying inside when Robbe introduced him as "my ex" because Sander couldn't think of introducing Robbe to someone without calling him "the love of my life”, “my soulmate”, “my boyfriend”, “my fiancè”, “my husband”. This was how he had always imagined it, the way things had to go, and he knew that no one would ever make him feel how he had felt all those years with him, so there was no point in trying.

The fact that it wasn't the same for Robbe had surprised him. He'd always thought their feelings were equal, with no differences, but maybe Sander loved Robbe differently, maybe he'd always been alone on that journey and Robbe was just someone he'd walked with.

His thoughts were going to a dangerous place and he had to stop them. He had to focus on the present.

Luckily, his little angel clenched his fists in his sleep, and Sander smiled because he was the most adorable thing in the world. He wanted to wake him up and hold him in his arm. Watch him sleep all night.

Then, suddenly, someone rang the bell.

It was late.

His mother wasn’t in town.

Maybe the babysitter had forgotten something.

He stood up and took the baby monitor, closing the door to Hero's room behind him.

They rang a second time.

Whoever it was had to be in a hurry.

"I’m coming, just a second."

He turned the key in the lock, finally opening the door, just to find himself face to face with the features of someone he knew too well.

[previous] / [next]

[izukult]

sorry i can’t have you? one up me? so this playlist isn’t part of the matchups i’m sorry😞🤝

here you go IDIOT CHILD ( @rat-bastar ) being your friend is so hard 😁

choke - i don’t know how but they found me

ok absolutely your vibes. if you got the chance you would bitch slap me, we both know it. you big ol bully. this is the vibey pop ish version of a villain song and it’s such a hype song in my opinion idk

love me dead - ludo

we’ve established its a good song ok🤝. idk lmao play this while you’re thinking ab your friend OR her ex gf ;) as of my knowledge those the mfs you simp for or whateva LMAO

lemons (demo)

please. PLEASE THIS ONE IS SO OBVIOUS. you vibes. absolute you vibes. you @ me. you @ everyone. you play this on full volume while you try to convince yourself you hate everyone. you play this while judging every violin player ever. you play this glaring at maliek or whagever his name is. this song is you

piano man - billy joel

i saw this on one of your playlists lol BUT i feel like this is something you would blare on the bus or on your way to a fucking debate tournament you fucking loser

hesitation - hot flash heat wave

such a good song. this also feels like something you would listen to while you think ab other people. i dunno it’s got that sweet, sweet ‘condescending to hide real emotions’ energy and it’s vibey and it’s kinda sad yea

waltz #2 (xo) - elliott smith

don’t even get me started on how big of an elliott smith can i was. you def give him vibes but i mean that as a compliment?? i can imagine you with ur head down hands in ur pockets being all bummed out and angry walking up the hill to ur house idk that’s very niche oddly specific? i never really realized this song had BIG BIG BIG you vibes until i started typing this but i’m listening to the lyrics and it’s like describing you go off ig

everyone hates his parents - falsettos

i know you love falsettos and we both know we love to shit talk our parents so. it just seems to make sense. ALSO i feel like we would argue like marvin and trina or marvin and whizzer or marvin and anyone LOL

colorful penguins - we shore is dedicated

ok i know iM the one working, but this song please. listen to it. listen to the music. to the tone of voice. to the certain old tavern rustic vibe. that’s you. i cant rly describe it but the vibe of this song is your vibe

beachboy - mccafferty

well we have the shared mother’s name in the beginning there and that’s fun for me. also we know that i be smoking and yada yada and i know your friends do too and i feel like this song is just you dealing w ur friends dummy habits and angry fast sing

hannah - swmrs

something about this song just feels like a convo we’d have?? like in my head i can tell what you would say and what i would say IDK LMAO maybe that’s just me but it’s also a good song

problems - mother mother

this song. LMAOOOO. the way you constantly BULLY me i feel like this song is how you present urself to other ppl v some deep shit like how you feel ab urself idk i’m not ur therapist ur apparently mine w how much you be psychoanalyzing me🤨. ALSO you’d scream this dont argue w me

i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers

multiple things here. again those crusty cobblestone streets at night after it rains where someone’s getting murdered in an alleyway vibes that you give. and i feel like if u were ever like <3 at someone, this is how you’d feel idc bitch

seashore - the regrettes

i love this band sm pls i want to kiss her. ANYWAY feels again like a you @ the world song. you just feel like someone who would shove someone in a trash can if they said one wrong word about you & i rly appreciate it

gooey - glass animals

this song feels like something that would be on a playlist with “i know this:” and i thought you’d like those vibes. sorry for the peanut butter reference

chicago - flipturn

you feel like someone who would let me play flipturn and pretend to hate it cos you pretend to hate everything i do but actually vibe w it so

everybody loves raymond (except for me) - mookamay

this is the girl i was tellin u ab who wrote the songs ab me YEA THIS IS ONE OF THE SONGS AB ME SO I FIGURED YOU WOULD APPRECIATE A SONG THAT WAS KIND OF A SLIGHT TO ME SO LMAO I PUT IT ON THERE. basically this is a song ab someone literally getting tired of ME so yknow felt fitting 😁‼️ (this one is mostly a joke and i will probably take it off the playlist but it still stands)

power over me - dermot kennedy

you seem like someone who would listen to dermot kennedy which is fair bc i used to scream this shit in the shower i would just have a lil concert and you give me the same vibe this one isn’t that deep

ghost duet - louie zong

lol some serotonin. just this playin in the background while u game

iris - the goo goo dolls

just a rly good song. just a rly good song that fits ur vibe. also if u were ever in love i also stand by saying you would listen to this & think ab them

dream sweet in sea major - miracle musical

if you were ever listen to “soft music🥺✊” this would be your version of it

bs - still woozy

I TOLD U TO LISTEN TO THIS AND I DONT THINK YOU DID YOU BITCH SO NOW I WILL FORCE YOU. also i have brown eyes so basically this is everyone including u @ me it’s ok ur human u can’t be blamed for acknowledging my charm ;) 😁🤝

paper thin hotel - matt maltese

you just seem like someone who would listen to him during a depressive episode

troubled mind - cannibal kids

cant find the right words for this one but like gives me you trying to be there for someone and coming off as apathetic and someone not knowing how to be a proper friend to you and yall just space vibes yknow what i mean?? Idk

bloom (bonus track) - the paper kites

if you and a girl (strictly a girl idc that this was written by a dude no fucking guy gets this song) were in love. like in any way. romantic love, platonic love, competitive love idgaf i just feel like THIS has the vibe for u

kill the director - the wombats

i don’t care THIS IS YOU IN LOVE. I THINK YOUD HATE HAVING REAL FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE. YOUD DEF BE THE PERSON TO IGNORE IT AND YOU BULLY THEM JUST A L I L EXTRA AND YOU DO LIL THINGS THAT SHOW U LIKE EM LIKE IF YOU RLY PAY ATTENTION YOU CAN PICK IT UP but no way you’re gonna express that shit LMAO

i got the blues - big bill broonzy

i dunno this ones just a banger

dirty imbecile - the happy first

this is you having a breakdown. that’s all! thanks queen!

under my skin - jukebox the ghost

very similar to lemons but also different?? you getting pissed at everyone but having a select couple ppl you cherish 👍

song for me - greer

where do i START? you not properly voicing emotions ? preppy pessimism ? dissociation ? vibing ? teen angst ? good vibes ? in love w ideas ?

my explanations aren’t as good as urs but also i’m cool so 👍 ur welcome you’ve been blessed by a personalized playlist from ME 🙄🙌 not from no bitchass capitalist anime character 😐

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Hello lovely people! And welcome to my first writting challenge. The aim of this challenge is to shine a light on mental health, medical conditions, and the things that can have impacts on us. This started out initially being a PCOS Awareness challenge but through conversations on the TCC discord, it’s become a challenge surrounding mental health in general. 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The goal of this challenge is to lift each other up, and show that it’s okay not to be okay. Spread some love and light during a challenging time in the world to those who struggle with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, grief, PCOS, acceptance from their families and communities for being LGBT+, and anyone struggling with insecurity. 

This challenge will run through September 15th, 2020. It will run through part of Mental Health Awareness Month, through Pride Month, and through part of PCOS Awareness Month. I probably have too many prompts, but I wanted to ensure that there was a wide array to choose from. 

The Rules:

1. Utilize resources available online if you’re dealing with subject matter you’re not that familiar with. I’m not going to go all “cite sources” on y’all, but please do make sure to do your research. Writing about some of these issues can be hard if you don’t have first hand knowledge of how it can affect you. The goal of this challenge is to write about topics that we tend to shy away from, that many of us struggle with, from mental health struggles to chronic illnesses to low-self esteem. A gentle reminder that if you think writing about a subject will be triggering for you, please look after yourself first. 

2. Use #JBBNNMHAMChallenge to tag your fic

3. Dark!Fic- I was up in the air on allowing dark!fic in the challenge. Due to the subject matter involved in this challenge, please don’t submit dark!fic. I enjoy dark fics, but this challenge isn’t the place for them.

4. Smut- Smut is welcome! Make sure you tag it appropriately. 

5. No inc*st, dubcon/noncon, underage, etc 

6. Ships- I prefer reader inserts, but show me what ya got 

7. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! The song prompts have a line from them under it. You DO NOT need to use the line in your submission! It’s mostly to help you decide if you’re interested in a song before you take a listen to it. The song prompts are broken down into ‘support’, ‘general’, and ‘grief’ but feel free to use them as you see fit. I categorized them mostly for organization 

8. Trigger Warnings: Use warnings as needed. Fics dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health issues should be tagged appropriately to ensure that readers that may be triggered by the subject matter can avoid the fic. Trigger warnings are non-negotiable

The prompts are under the cut! 

Prompts:

Dialogue Prompts:

“You never have to ask, you know that right? Say the word, and I’ll do it.” ( @whistlingwillows​ )

“Would you believe me if I said it’s because I love you? I’d give you the world if you asked.” ( @jbbuckybarnes )

“I promise you. One day, it will get easier. Those feelings might never fully go away, but it will get easier.” ( @imnotasuperhero​ )

“You ever feel like you can’t breathe? Like the whole world is collapsing in on itself and no one notices? No one cares? Like you can’t escape it?” ( @nekoannie-chan )

“It’d probably be easier if you left”

“Please leave me alone”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. What part of that is hard for you to understand?” ( @sweetwritesx​ )

“I wish I could believe you when you said that.” ( @evansweaters ) 

“How do you even begin to move on?” ( @blackwidowballet )

“You sure about that, moonman?” 

“I don’t know. All I do know is I don’t belong here” (@buckybarnesplumwhore​)

“That’s not true. And I will tell you that every day of your life until you believe me.” 

Sentence Prompts:

Feel free to adjust the pronouns as needed 

It was a day. It was the only way it could be described.

The feeling stuck like super glue, unable to be shaken away with a few whispered words and comforting hugs. ( @buckybarney ) 

You never knew something could hurt like this, that emotional pain could resonate so strongly through every atom of your body. (@buckybarnesplumwhore​)

That smile. He/she missed that smile. ( @bethycupcake )

It was progress. Baby steps forward. Maybe it wouldn’t all be okay today, but someday? It would be. ( @trillian-anders ) 

The list of medications that had been tried seemed like it was a mile long. ( @buckyreaderrecs)  

If you had another condescending doctor tell you your problem wasn’t a problem you were going to scream. 

The warmth of the sun fell over you like a blanket in the middle of winter. ( @avintagekiss24 ) 

Today was going to be good. 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was going south. 

AU and Trope Prompts: 

Soulmate 

College

Childhood Friends

Friends to Lovers

Enemies to Lovers 

Musicians

Writer

Professional Athlete 

Teacher

Coffee Shop

Fake Dating

Accidental Marriage

Royal

Librarian 

Neighbors ( @shakespeareanqueer​ )

Song Prompts:

Support: 

1. Nobody Ever Told You - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “Wish you could see yourself the way I do. Nobody ever told you, nobody ever told you. Shine like a diamond, glitter like gold, and you need to know what nobody ever told you” 

2. Missing You - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “And if you need a friend, I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. But if you need a friend, then please just say the word.” 

3. Barefoot and Bruise - Jamestown Story Lyric Snippet: “Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground. If you get tired and can’t go on, I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you’re barefoot and bruised” 

4. Hold On Till May- Pierce the Veil Lyric Snippet: “If were you, I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.” 

5. This Song Saved My Life - Simple Plan Lyric Snippet: “You let me know like no one else that it’s okay to be myself” ( @captain-kelli​ ) 

General: 1. It Feels Like - 1551 Lyric Snippet: “No I’m not fine, every second is a record of why, I live my life never doing things right” 

2. Sunrise - 1551 Lyric Snippet: “Nightmare that’s not gonna stop, it’s darkness you’re not gonna stop” 

3. Home - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Beba Rexha Lyric Snippet: “All these miles, feet, inches, they can’t add up to the distance that I have been through just to get to a place where even if there’s no closure I’m still safe. I still ache from trying to keep pace. Somebody give me a sign, I’m starting to lose faith”

4. Broken Arrows - Daughtry  Lyric Snippet: “The best of intentions I lay at your feet. And I need you to see past the worst part of me.”

5. Used - Serious Matters  Lyric Snippet: “The wounds are gone and the pain still lingers. But this time I won’t stand by, I don’t need you in my life”

6. Unsteady - X Ambassadors  Lyric Snippet: “Hold on to me, ‘cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady” ( @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ )

7. Let It Land - Tonight Alive Lyric Snippet: “And everything we hate is something we just bought along the line” 

8. Cold As You - Taylor Swift Lyric Snippet: “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you” 

9. Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift Lyric Snippet: “Hold on, baby you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it, and letting go, and no one knows. That you cry but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. And you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.” 

10. Human Interaction - Tonight Alive Lyric Snippet: “I don’t know love. I don’t know hate. I am numb. Wish I could find the words to say. Asking please, as colors fade. I need to breathe. Before I turn the world to grey.” 

Grief: 

1. Jersey On the Wall (I’m Just Asking) - Tenille Townes 

Lyric Snippet: “If I ever get to heaven, you know I got a long list of questions. Like how do you make a snowflake, are you angry when the earth quakes? How does the sky change in a minutes, how do you keep this big rock spinning? Why can’t you stop a car from crashing? Forgive me, I’m just asking” 

2. Five More Minutes - Scotty McCreery

Lyric Snippet: “Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times. Oh, but they just keep on flying right on by like it ain’t nothing, wish I had me a, a pause button. Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it. Give myself five more minutes” 

3. Dad’s Old Number - Cole Swindell

Lyric Snippet: “Sometimes I forget, these ten digits ain’t my lifeline anymore. Every now and then I dial them up when life gets tough or when the Braves score. Sorry about the one ring hang ups, early morning and late night wake ups. It was just me. In case you wondered, you’ve got dad’s old number.” 

4. The Other Side - Lauren Alaina

Lyric Snippet: “There’s gonna be a lot of sadness on a lot of happy days, I’ll try to think of this moment, this place” 

5. I Was Here - Beyonce

Lyric Snippet: “So they won’t forget I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.” 

6. Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

Lyric Snippet: “Like a shooting star, flying across the room. So fast, so far, you were gone too soon. You’re a part of me. And I’ll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.” 

7. Amelia - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And you will always be perfect, you’ll always be beautiful, our hearts, will never forget you. You didn’t belong here, and it’s become so clear why heaven called your name.” 

[redeemed-wren]

The world sucks, I'm tired and have a headache, it's time to watch A New Hope again.

The opening of a star wars movie never fails to make me smile

A) the stormtroopers slipping all over the place amused me, b) the stormtroopers checking the downed troopers gives me clone feels

I love how much history and world is just implied. "The princess won't get away this time." "We'll be sent to the spice mines of kessel for sure" "

Vader's voice bring me back to being 8 and watching star wars on our little box TV.

"I have traced the rebel spy to here" Ah, must have been very difficult, running directly from Scarif. The opening is very amusing after Rouge 1

Man I love Jawas

Gonk!

Ooh man the CGI dewbacks are kiiiinda jarring not gonna lie.

Sunshine child Luke! It my boy!

Luke: What's this? R2, instantly, knowing full well what he means: What's what?

I firmly believe that Luke and Leia, being twins, have some Force connection even before meeting.

"I guess you're too small to run away on me if I take this off" HA someone doesn't know R2. He instantly denies having the message as well what a troll.

"He won't. I don't think Obi-Wan exists anymore, he died about the same time as your father." hhh my heart

Obi-Wan living his best life being absolutely feral in the desert what a legend

I love how the two wise old Jedi we see in the OT are introduced by one of them making weird screaming noises to scare off tuskan raiders and the other being a feral gremlin in the middle of a swamp. Legendary.

Dang i always forget his first words are literally "Hello there"

Alec Guinness is such a good actor dang.

"I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid" R2: boi you what you know me I know you know me come on now I will fight you.

I can't get over how much emotion Alec Guinness has that fits with the story so well. Like, I know I'm probably projecting a lot onto him because I know the story, but the amount of emotion he conveys without knowing Obi-Wan's story is amazing

Luke be like "I can't go to Alderaan. I have homework"

Yularan!

Tarkin.

I love Tarkin but as a villian and as a horrible person to hate.

"Your sad devotion to that ancient religion..." said religion was destroyed not even 20 years ago.

Okay for real though I legit didn't realise there were skeletons of Owen and Bereu smoking outside the house for years. I don't know if we were told to look away at that point or if I just blocked it out of my mind but when I realised they full on showed their charred skeletons I was shooketh.

Everytime I see a stormtrooper with one of those orange shoulder things I think of Cody it'd be wild if the trooper Ben "These aren't the droids you're looking for"ed was Cody.

Cantina music is a BOP it's fantastic

Dang Luke just reaching across the bar and grabbing the bar keeper's shirt is just rude

I love all these iconic creatures whose designs haven't changed much really over the years. It's so cool how much you see them elsewhere and they're still basically the same!

R.I.P. Greedo.

Oh no CGI Jabba.

Oh but Boba's here also this makes it okay.

"Jabba, you're a wonderful human being" I love Han.

I did not realise Han was the first to say "this is where the fun begins" I love how many inside jokes the films have with each other.

Tarkin needs to stop touching people's face without permission. He did it to Ahsoka, he did it to Leia.

R.I.P. Bail Organa and Alderaan.

"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck" idk why that hurt me but it did because everything has gone wrong in Obi-Wan's life he's literally never been lucky in his life.

Mouse droid mouse droid I love mouse droids!

Han just casually leaning against Chewie is iconic

The way Luke leans in before saying "She's rich" is cracking me up.

Mouse droid! Chewie don't scare it

Yularan full on walks past while Luke, Han and Chewie are waiting for the elevator that's wild.

Which probably means he was in the Death Star when it explodes so rip him.

Han bluffing at the radio is fantastic "We're fine, we're all fine here, now, thank you... How are you?" and his face after he says it.

*blasts the radio* "boring conversation anyway." legit one of my favourite parts of the movie

"into the garbage shoot, flyboy" I love Leia

Everytime I see Leia's outfit I get mad at George 'There's no underware in space' Lucas the beginning of Jedi is going to send me into a RAGE. it's a shame cos the movies are so good otherwise, Carrie Fisher's treatment and they way they treated her costumes and her weight just makes me so angry and I'm gonna stop before I go on a big rant. But my flatmate refuses to watch star wars partly because of Lucas' treatment of Carrie Fisher and part of me doesn't blame her, even tho she's missing out on a fantastic story.

Anyway rant over let's keep going.

'donk' the fact that they added a sound effect to the dude hitting his head cracks me up. Also implies that he's a clone cos they made Jango donk his head when entering Slave 1 in AOTC and Rex donk his head in that one clones wars episode as a reference and that makes me Sad.

3PO thinking they're dying when they're celebrating not being crushed is iconic

I love how Obi-Wan has just been wandering around this whole time

Wilhelm scream!

Aaaand now I am getting Obi-Wan and Anakin feels again.

Honestly kinda looks like Obi-Wan is disassociating somewhat he has a very blank stare and I'm projecting emotions again but still this is the first time since Mustifar he's seen the person who was his brother he must have had many Emotions. Not to mention this all happened in like... a day, he's had his past thrown in his face in so many ways

Luke being more sad about Ben's death than the people who raised him. I mean like same, but I guess he's still somewhat in shock from all that's happened

I love R2's chuckle

"Whatddya think, do you think a princess and a guy like me-" Luke, instantly: no. What a savage.

Lookout guy on Yavin IV is me and my brother's favourite background character. I distinctly remember a conversation about throwing food up to him and him having an umbrella in case it rains.

"This will be a day long remembered" Funny that, it's the day the time is calculated from in the star wars universe

Ey! I wasn't sure if the Biggs reunion scene was in this version I feel like it's not in all of them? Either way I wasn't expecting it and it made me happy and also buildup for more sadness down the line

Lookout guy again! I love him

X-wings are legit one of my favourite ships

I really do enjoy the dogfight and all the chatter over the coms

Wedge my BOY I love him

You can see Vader's eyes a couple points in that dogfight

R.I.P. Biggs

And boom. I forgot how good that battle was.

Where's Wedge's promotion/medal tho?

Man. I forgot how good this movie is and that's saying something cos I've loved this movie for as long as I can remember. I haven't properly watched it for years and it's been long over due!

Now I'm very keen to watch Empire and Jedi again because it's been even longer since I watched those!

Imma go watch the deleted scenes cos I don't believe I've seen em and then go to bed.

Huh Red leader met Anakin, wonder if that's still canon and if so, when.

Man the cantina rough cut really does show how much editing and post production brings to it.

The Tosche station scene is awesome, seeing Luke's friends is cool. They're also kinda mean. It also gives more character to Biggs which is cool! I should have watched it ages ago.

"Listen to how quiet I am you can barely hear me" Luke you nerd

See the downside to that deleted scene is that now I'm even more sad about Biggs' death.

And that's all folks! Headache is gone and I'm feeling less depressed, so I think it worked! Hopefully Empire tomorrow night, if I'm on top of assignments.

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Shklance -- Soulmark AU, Part 1

This is late for a bunch of reasons. One is that my professors hate me and literally assigned 4 essays last week, and then I think I have 2 or 3 this week, I’m scared to check. The other reason is that I’m finally at the point in the semester where I’m getting essays back and realizing I truly suck as a writer, so I think I spent five days debating giving up on writing entirely because dang these professors are ruthless and I was not prepared to be ripped to shreds again. But there we have it. Plus, work has not been going so great, so I’ve been in a depressed mood for the last couple of weeks. But I needed a break from the essays, so here’s this. Other reasons could include stress in my marriage, a lack of sleep or free time, and the fact that everything I’m reading for class is intellectually stimulating, but emotionally and spiritually draining and I feel the joy being sucked out of my soul one story and novel at a time. (see again: depression)

ABOUT THE STORY: Apparently all I write now is soulmate aus. This one is a soulmark one, which I think is different from the other one I was working on that was doing super well, but honestly my brain can’t think of anything but Shakespeare and dystopian sadness right now. It is a separate series, but similar in characters and au genre. Hope you enjoy

--------------------------------

              Lance had a secret. And it was a secret that he was going to take to his grave. Hell, it was probably going to send him to the grave. He knew that it wasn’t healthy, it was just… Fuck, it was Shiro and Keith. They were so happy together, and Lance knew he couldn’t ruin that. Neither of them were interested before, so why should knowing he was their soulmate make a difference?

         Sure, they knew that they had a third piece to their relationship, after all, theirs was a very well-known polyamorous symbol, though it did have their own individual colors in order to make it more their own. And Lance could only wonder at what they thought the paw print in the background of the bobbu that was highlighted with red, blue, and black. Regardless, they didn’t necessarily know that it was Lance that was their third.

         And, as mentioned previously, Lance was determined as fuck to keep it that way.

         Which, of course, also meant keeping it a secret from Pidge and Hunk. No way would Pidge not use it as blackmail against him, and Lance knew that Hunk would either struggle to keep the secret, or he would also pressure Lance to tell Keith and Shiro, which. No. Just, no. Lance just wanted someone to love him for him, not because the universe (which by the way, has honestly done nothing but fuck them over consistently) decided it would be a good idea, for whatever reason.

         But that didn’t mean that Lance didn’t love them.

         In fact, for as long as he could remember, Lance had admired both of them. Shiro was his hero and his inspiration, his main reason for going to the Garrison and trying to follow him into the galaxy. And Keith was his further motivation, the one he thought of when he was trying to get pumped up and trying to push himself to improve, to be better, faster, smarter. They were both unattainable goals, symbols of just how much Lance was a screw-up and a failure.

         And neither of them were interested in him.

         And that was fine. Lance could handle that. It sucked, but it was fine. He was fine.

           Yeah, no, Lance lied, okay, he was not fine. If he had to watch Keith and Shiro be sappy and gross (and cuddly a fucking adorable) one more time, he was going to through himself out the airlock. And why did they have to constantly rub it in his face?

         And speaking of… They had all just finished another diplomatic meeting (and that had to be the worst part of the end of the war; 90% of their missions at this point were about diplomacy and meeting the inhabitants of other planets. Which, sure, it was cool but it was soooo boringggg.), but Keith was heading to their living quarters rather than the training deck. And Keith always went to the training deck after a slow and boring mission. He had rage to work out. Always. And even weirder was that Shiro was following, as if this was totally normal or something.

         They fell into step with Lance. Lance tried not to show how confused he was. Finally, Keith volunteered, “We’re going to go take a nap. Diplomacy is exhausting.” He looked mildly disgusted, as if it really was too much work to talk to people. Lance tried not to think about how Keith that was.

         “Okay…” he responded slowly.

         Shiro and Keith exchanged a look Lance couldn’t read. “We noticed you always seem much more… rested after you nap, so we thought we would try it out.” And really, Shiro’s explanation didn’t explain anything, but damn was he attractive, with that stupid little light in his eyes and that weird but hopeful smile on his stupidly hot face. And the soulmark on his wrist. Ugh.

         Lance shook his head. “Okay,” he repeated, then, deciding it would be more polite to actually try to have a normal conversation (even if doing so hurt like hell because it just showed him they would never be able to have a relationship beyond sometimes-pleasant chats) he continued, “but if you’re gonna do it right, cuddles have to be involved. It’s the real reason I feel great after a nap.”

         Shiro looked startled, which was new. Keith looked pissed, which was not new. He usually looked angry when talking to Lance. Which didn’t hurt at all, because Lance was used to that. He was annoying, he could understand that.

         “Who the hell cuddles with you?” Keith demanded. Lance tried not to flinch, but he also knew that he failed miserably, because he had to try really hard to disguise the hurt and pain in his response.

         “Hunk’s always down for cuddles. He’s awesome like that, and he’s great at it. Best bro any guy could ask for.” Was it just him, or did that sound super dull and dead? Dammit, he needed to work on masking him emotions again. He’d thought he could let the masks and walls down after everything that happened – Keith being their leader, and Shiro and his clone, but after the war, they decided to hook up and it just… Masks were easier than being honest with his pain at this point.

         Shiro sighed in… relief? Literally what the hell. Thank goodness they were near their rooms now. Lance was gonna bounce before his heart finally decided to attack him. But before he could duck into his own room, Keith’s arm shot out and grabbed him. “Well, you’re welcome to join us and show us how it’s done.” Lance was honestly kinda terrified by the serious, intense look on his face, even though the words sounded suspiciously like an invitation. But still, he was tempted. Damn, was he tempted. But he also knew he couldn’t ruin this for them. He could see Keith’s mark peeking out from behind his collar, and he just couldn’t.

         So of course, because he’s a human disaster, he squeaked and bolted for his room, all but diving through the door the minute it was open.

           Shiro and Keith stared after him morosely. After several minutes Shiro said, “So. You might have been right about him.”

         “He’s an idiot.” Keith breathed fervently.

[daydream-hobii]

Hybrid Heart Attack | Chapter 6

Genre: Poly!AU; Hybrid!AU; Fluff; Angst

Pairing: BTS x Female!Reader; Human!Seokjin x Human!Reader; Eventual relationship with Snow Leopard!Yoongi, Red Panda!Hoseok, Koala!Namjoon, Calico Cat!Jimin, Husky!Taehyung, Doberman!Jungkook

Summary: Y/n finds her current fiance during college, his name is Seokjin. They fell in love and dated for three years before he proposed. Now, Seokjin is a lawyer for hybrids, and Y/n, well, she has the perfect stay at home job. When Seokjin invites her to move in, she wasn’t expecting that he has six hybrids. She doesn’t know why a hybrid lawyer wouldn’t have hybrids, she just didn’t think about it…. Y/n is petrified of hybrids, something happened to her when she was little…. Guess she’ll have to adapt… or leave.

Warning: Mentions of Animal Attacks, Abuse (Physical & Mental), Depression, Anxiety; Possible PTSD mentions; Suggestions of Smut; Read with caution. <3 

Word Count: 1,154

// Previous // Next //

Author’s Note: Welcome to Chapter 6! I hope you all enjoy it!! ^_^

      It started with that day, everything was different. The first time Yoongi came into my office, my heart raced in panic. He’d never been in here, never even walked past it, but I took note of his shy appearance. He’d open his mouth to say something, but turn around and quickly escape, making my heart rate drop back down to normal.

     Then the next day, he did the same thing. He’d come in, looking shy. I’d break out into a cold sweat, nervous about why he was here, but he’d just leave. Finally, on the third day, I was expecting him to come in at the same time he always does, right after lunch. I stopped typing on my computer to look at him, and he looked just as shy as before. I decided to relax, let my eyes show that it’s okay to talk to me, I’m okay…. This helped a lot.

     “Are you alright, Yoongi?” I asked, letting out a squeak. Damnit, there was still fear in my voice. Even though my mind is mostly secure when it comes to the hybrids now, my body and heart still goes on autopilot with fear. He caught this hiccup, but still seemed to relax at how I was trying. 

     Before he could speak, Taehyung bounded in, pushing past Yoongi and straight over to the floor next to me, placing his head into my lap. On instinct, my fingers tangled themselves in his hair, this has been occurring for a while. Yoongi’s eyes dimmed at the sight, before he scowled at the ground.

     “Nothing, just making sure you were okay…” He mumbled, tail twitching, before walking out and leaving me confused.

     “He was jealous,” Taehyung whispered, placing his chin on my thigh to look up at my face. I raised an eyebrow, looking down at the wide eyed husky. “It’s all over his scent. Plus he’s nervous.”

     “Why?” I asked.

     “He wants you to pet him,” Taehyung said, surprising me more. “He’s a tough guy, very secluded and angry. That’s him… but once he settled for someone, he’s very soft, very cuddly.”

     “Huh…” I replied, looking back to the door.

     “No one knows why. Jinnie thinks it’s because he was love deprived for so long, since his mom got taken away… but he just needs time,” Taehyung said, laying his head back down, letting my hand go through his fluffy hair.

     That night, as Seokjin and I laid in bed, he was reading his book while I was staring at the door. Seokjin has noticed me changing since the man, who lost to Seokjin as well as got a few months in prison, attacked me.

     “Jagiya, what’s on your mind?” Seokjin asked, making me look at him. He hadn’t looked up from his book.

     “Yoongi,” I replied, making him furrow his brow and look at me. 

     “How come? Did he do something?” Seokjin asked, concerned. My heart stung for Yoongi. 

     “No, no. He’s been awesome, Jin,” I replied with a small smile. “It’s just… he’s been coming into my office for a few days and today, Taehyung came in right after him to get his pets and everything, like normal, and Yoongi just sulked away…. Taehyung said he was jealous?”

     “Believe it or not, that’s amazing,” Seokjin said, placing his book down and smiling big. “It means he really likes you. He’s never opened up to someone this fast.” I could see the excitement and hope in Seokjin’s eyes. With how much he’s been busy, we haven’t had a lot of time to ourselves…. I missed him.

     I smiled at his happiness, leaning over and gently pecking his lips. They were so soft, making my heart flutter as I still felt the fireworks from our first kiss forever ago. I pulled away, smiling as he kissed me once more before laying back down to go to bed.

     The next day, my heart was solid with determination. At the same time as every other day, Yoongi came in. This time, I didn’t even look at him as I continued to type an email. He just stood there, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

     “Taehyung went with Seokjin to work today,” I said, looking up at him. His eyebrows raised in surprise, holding his hands together. “I need someone to replace him for the day to keep me relaxed.”

     “Why?” Yoongi asked, genuinely curious.

     “Well… the more I’m with you guys, the more I’m getting used to being around hybrids…. Taehyung comes in to help me relax because work can be a lot, even at home,” I replied. “It’s kind of like an emotional support hybrid.”

     When I smiled at him softly, Yoongi carefully walked over and sat on the floor next to my chair. He gently placed his head in my lap and I immediately put my hand through his hair. It was actually pretty awkward at first… but once Yoongi began to purr, and slowly fall asleep, our feelings settled slightly.

     After the initial awkwardness, it was peaceful for the rest of the day. Yoongi had fallen asleep with his head on my lap, his chest moving up and down with a purr each time. I hadn’t even realized the time until Seokjin came into the room, the others following behind him. The hybrids started laughing pretty loud, making Yoongi yowl in surprise and jump up, his head slamming under the table.

     I squeaked in shock, staring at the others with wide eyes, a small blush rolling over my cheeks. Seokjin had a small smile on while the others were laughing. Well… except for Jungkook, who just flashed his teeth at me before stalking off, no doubt back to his bedroom. I gulped, paling only slightly before forcing myself to keep calm. 

     “Yoongi’s gone soft!” Jimin said in a sing-song like tone. “How cute!” Yoongi began to growl, staring at the younger. I hid my giggle, smiling at the others. Yoongi’s tail was twitching, but more in a playful manner.

     “Who knew such a big cat could be such a small kitty,” Taehyung cooed, tail wagging.

     “I’m gonna kill you both,” Yoongi growled, standing up and running at the two boys, who ran away, laughing loudly.

     “I see you two are getting along great,” Seokjin asked as I stood up, walking over to him and pecking his lips.

     “I want cuddles,” Hoseok said, pouting.

     “Hobi, one hybrid at a time,” Seokjin said, flashing a smile. Hoseok and Namjoon pouted, nodding. I sighed, feeling sad for them both.

     “I’m really trying,” I whispered, looking at the two.

     “And you’re doing great,” Namjoon said softly, flashing a reassuring smile.

     “Thank you, Joonie,” I whispered, giving a small smile back. I watched his ears perk up slightly at the use of his nickname. I felt like a completely different person since when I first got here…. It was so nice, and I was excited to see me progress even more.

[kyu-bri]

Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport​

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

[jesangel1503]

30 Day Challenge:

Day 1 Topic-

About feelings

Let’s talk about facts:

Many of us have an uncomfortable relationship with our feelings. We might stuff down our sadness or sweep away our anger. We might even have trouble identifying what we’re feeling in the first place. We’re socialized to mask our feelings. We learn that we must cover up our emotions “in order to behave appropriately, professionally, and to avoid conflict and navigate relationships.”

We worry if our emotions are wrong, bad or even crazy. We fear being rejected or perceived as needy or foolish and sometimes believe to be weak if we feel sad or scared, so we avoid these emotions. Or we may ignore other emotions, believing they shouldn’t be feeling that way. While feelings may be tricky and we may view them with unease or even suspicion, they’re actually important and valuable. So it is just important that we know we are attuned to our feelings. It’s exciting to discuss about this, and I might say this Day 1 task got me really puzzled about feelings and emotions. What are the difference?

The Difference between Feelings and Emotions

Emotions vs. Feelings

In English, these two words are commonly used interchangeably. Actually, from a scientific standpoint, emotions and feelings are completely different. An emotion is a hard-wired, physical, universal human response to change of some sort. Emotions are instinctive, arising from the limbic system of the brain, developed and genetically programmed over many generations of human evolution. Psychologists do not agree on the number of human emotions, but basic examples include anger, fear, surprise, disgust, happiness and sadness.

In contrast to emotions, which are measurable physical responses, feelings are individual mental processes that cannot be measured. Emotions actually precede feelings, our personal mental reactions to an emotion. Feelings are generated by thoughts and images that we have paired with a specific emotion over time. Emotions are usually short-term and fleeting, while the feelings they provoke may last and grow over a lifetime.

Source: Talktoteach.com

Emotions are measurable physical response and feelings are individual mental processes that cannot be measured

Have you watched Disney’s inside out movie? The main characters are the emotions in a little girls brain and the storyline focuses on how to recover joy after a traumatic experience.

The movie feels really good, and different. It flies on the wings of an almost too-real message — that sadness is an inevitable and necessary part of life.

It’s a good movie to watch with kids and parents, showing how important emotions are and the need to be validated and undertood as part of a child’s development.

The more you are aware of your emotions, the more they help you know yourself and understand the people around you. Noticing and talking about feelings is a healthy way to express them. It keeps difficult feelings from building up. Here is a feelingswheel for you.

Questions about feelings:

Are you a sensitive person? Are you more emotional or less emotional than other people? What makes you think so?

Tbh, I am quite a sensitive person. I think I easily feel all those certain feelings especially when I come across a sad state. I mean, who is not? Come on. Especially when I was young and immature. I am so much unstable when it comes to handling them. It was only now that I am soon 30, I have come up with ways to handle them in a graceful manner. Emotions and feelings are all useful in order for us to better express ourselves and conform ourselves well in the society’s norms and traditions. In some people, handling difficult situations ending in negative emotions is not easy for them, and that may lead to break down and eventually lead to depression. And it’s them that needs social and emotional assistance the most. But for myself, I think I am fine. It just gets better everyday and with age, so I think. What about you?

Can you control your emotions well? How?

Lately, I figured out how to handle them with ease. I’ve dealt with these emotions and savored them like I am tasting them bit by bit. And then I learned to linger to a particular emotion for a time, until I am over it. But I don’t let each emotion affect my day to day, i.e my job and my relationships. If a sad news came, to be specific, a break up of some sort, feelings of reject and self pity comes along. Well what I’m going to do is feel sad about it for some time, and then just be sad until i am not sad anymore. Then after that, I accept that there are things beyond my control so it’s basically not my fault why I’m being rejected. It’s always the mindset that saves our ass in times like these. When we think, “Yeah okay I get it. But my life is great. I can still be able to meet and know other people and it will be fine” And repeat that thought until you’re finally okay. I mean it’s ok to feel sad about it, but to feel sad about it for a long time is your choice already. So it’s up to you on how you want your life to go on. Though sometimes, hormones usually gets mixed with it in some situations, and then I tend to breakdown. It’s so hard to be a girl you know. But I am working on making it better lately, handling these emotions well plus the hormones is a must asap.

Are you generally a positive person or a negative person?

After the things I’ve been through, I realized that I need to choose to be positive ALL the time. Even in negative situations, there should always be a positive thing in a day, may it be a simple smile or giggle of the neighbor’s baby or the warmth of your blanket that hugs you after a long tiring and sad day. You see, if we start appreciating things around us, instead of looking at what’s lacking, then there could be one or more positive things in our lives to notice from. So yes, always choose and think positive, in a way, the universe conspires along with it too! Hopefully!

Do you find it easy to explain your feelings to another person? If not, why is it difficult?

I don’t know but I am really bad at it. I am always afraid what people may perceive and if they comprehend the message well enough that they actually GET me and my point. And so often, I get misunderstood. It scares me before to think what others may think of what I convey to them. But RN I am determined not too care so much about it. I mean, well, I am responsible of what i say not for what they understand. So i’ll eventually get tired explaining myself if they believe what they think their minds say. So if you have a technique, feel free to share. 🙌🏻

What makes you feel very good?

I feel very good when my needs are met. See Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. And I realized it’s not love from a partner that completes you. It’s the love for yourself. And knowing it actually makes me feel really good.

What makes you feel sad?

There are many things. I get sad when people die. And things that comes to an end. But I’ve learned to treat sadness with respect. I mean, it is important, an emotional mechanism that is built on our DNA for human survival and adaptation.

If you're feeling down, how can you make yourself feel better?

I do a lot actually. I feed myself, buy some clothes, or sing my heart out. But I don’t sleep. Many people tend to go on a hibernation when they are sad. But I don’t. As i’ve said before, I treat sadness with respect so I try to overcome it not escape from it. But among the things that I do to make myself better, praying is the one that works best for me. It’s my complete therapy to full recovery. Talking to God everything that makes me sad helps a lot. You should try it.

What is the saddest movie, song, or story that you know?

It was Titanic for me, as the saddest ever. I mean, losing someone you love to death is quite tragic. But what’s more sad is when two people who love each other but cannot be together. I mean it’s a torture. Seeing each other with a different partner is never a pleasant sight. Trust me, it hurts to the bones.

Do people know how you feel by looking at your face? Are you good at hiding your emotions?

This is an exciting topic to talk about. Many people assume they could really know how I feel just by looking at my face. Well yeah, sometimes when I am really happy, I can be obviously happy and also when I am sad. Most of all, is when I like somebody. All the emotions I am feeling can be read on my face. Like yeah, how can you hide turning red when your crush approached you? Like how? So embarrassing hahaha. But anyways, what i am good at, is when I dislike a person. You will never know unless I tell you i don’t but that will not happen sadly. I am not frank, I was raised to not hurt people by being so frank and always choose to speak in a nicer way. And if not, I must resort to avoiding people in the end.

What is the best way to deal with feelings of anger?

When i get angry, I get realllllllly angry. But I have managed controlling my anger in a way that saves my relationships with friends and family. It’s always best to choose a low tone of voice, no matter the argument is about. Shouting, as i often tend to do and i’m avoiding, is not the best way to address anger. Relationships are more important than short time emotions like anger.

Have you been in love? What is it like to be in love?

Yes I have. There are many kinds of it. And almost all of the states of love below, I have already experienced it. You come across each of the states, and all have different feeling to it. And explaining them is hard, cause love is immeasurable. That is, for me.

Which is more powerful between feelings of love and feelings of hate?

I’m gonna end this blog by answering this question. Throughout the years I have been juggling with both feelings and I must say, the feeling of love is more powerful cause it makes us go on and look forward to life. Well, it’s upon one’s preference still. Cause for me, I will always choose to love instead of hate. These 2 are both powerful because hate feelings, are the feelings that weighs us down, and makes us regret and think back. Therefore pulling us in a state of negativity flow in our life where everything is just heavy, a burden, a baggage and a prison that imprisons and rusts us deep down inside. If you let yourself get eaten by your anger and hatred, it can really affect you to your core. Feelings and emotions are natural mechanisms that helps us thrive and adapt to certain situations. If only we know how to handle them properly, then we’re going to be okay.