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axolotlclown · 3 months ago

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So I finished Moominvalley season 4 and here is my review:

Of course, spoilers ahead! It's long. It's detailed. It's a bit much, and I spent hours writing it.

I greatly disliked this season, not just from one particular angle. When Moominvalley first came out, it was advertised as the first narrative-style adaptation. This would imply one concrete story that ran throughout the show. They said the story would take time and required patience, but there was a larger narrative story. What was that story exactly? In the beginning, each character was established with certain flaws that they needed to grow from.

For Moomintroll, throughout season 1, we see him struggle with his father's expectations. He never quite makes his own decisions—either doing what he's told or what other people in his life would do. In the last episode of the season, Midwinter Ancestor, Moomintroll is told by Too-Tikky to not open the closet door. Going against her wishes, he does so anyway. This is the first instance of Moomintroll making a decision for himself. In the end, it was a bad decision, and he regretted it, but it still was a big moment. We understand the importance of this journey when he changes out the picture by his bedside table. It was a baby photo with his parents; now, it's a photo of Moomintroll fully grown. This was meant to denote a journey of independence.

We see him continue with this struggle in season 2. The Hobgoblin's hat adds to the internalized identity crisis. During the lighthouse arc, Moomintroll is mostly doing his own thing, somewhat. Although, I think that cutting out his glade from the book sort of hurt this theme of independence. I hoped that they would revisit that somehow, but they never did. In season 3, Lonely Mountain, we see a sort of regression with Moomintroll. (Ignore how this affected Snufkin, I'll come back to this later.) When Moomintroll unpacks his things, we see a collection of items that represent Moomintroll's past. One of these items was the old baby picture. Aside from this episode, we don't see any notable growth from Moomintroll this season.

In season 4, we watch Moomintroll fall right back into his father's shadow. He continues to struggle to carve his own path. The set up for Comet in Moominland was promising, but ultimately did not deliver. When Moomintroll goes against his friends to make a decision for himself, it turns out to be a bad decision that he regrets later, and someone else has to guide him out of the situation.

Moomintroll ends from the same place he started as a character. All growth is erased and ignored. While this is the most egregious example—with him being the protagonist—he is not the only character that this happens with.

Snufkin probably upsets me the most, as he had so much potential to be the most interesting character in the series. In season 1, The Spring Tune, we see where Snufkin is starting as far as his strengths and flaws go. What particularly intrigued me was his relationship to attachment. We see that Snufkin ultimately fears abandonment, and he copes with this in conflicting ways. He wants to be with Moomintroll out of fear of being left behind, but he is afraid that he feels this way. He tries to create distance between him and Moomintroll in an attempt to ease what he experiences as pain. This is demonstrated further in the next episode, The Last Dragon in the World, when he frees the dragon. We see his struggle with responsibility and commitment in Snufkin and the Park Keeper.

In season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, Snufkin is explaining to Moomintroll what the King's Ruby is. The ruby functions as a metaphor for love throughout the season. Moomintroll imagines that the Hobgoblin must love this ruby, while Snufkin argues that he only wants to possess it. While both may be correct in their own ways, they fail to understand each other. As a result, Snufkin decides to leave Moomintroll out of fear of being possessed himself under the false pretense that he is helping with the hat (he did not). We never visit this plot point again.

Snufkin has some large developments in season 3. In the Lonely Mountain, we see Snufkin break down his walls and let Moomintroll in. He acknowledges his responsibility to him and his longing to see him. Unfortunately, this aspect of his character is completely abandoned in season 4.

Back to season 1, Snufkin and the Park Keeper, we get a flashback in which Snufkin is enjoying a party with Moomintroll until he is overwhelmed by the presence of others. He winds up abandoning Moomintroll and the valley. He does this again in season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, as discussed above. In season 3, Snufkin and the Fairground, Snufkin chooses not to abandon his responsibility to Moomintroll or the valley. When faced with an uncomfortable challenge, he chooses to stay and support Moomintroll.

In season 4, The Great Cold, when faced with a crowded challenge, Snufkin abandons Moomintroll again. While he appears later in the episode, it felt disingenuous to me. The original problem had already been solved. In Comet in Moominvalley, Snufkin does not abandon Moomintroll. In fact, he makes an active effort to stay by his side. But it feels strange, almost undeserved? We saw so little of Snufkin this season, and when we did, he spent his screen time backtracking his progress.

In season 3, Lonely Mountain, Snufkin has a small monologue about listening to the campfire as the sparks dance and fly. Well, the whole episode was about listening. Anyway, that was a call back to the season 1 episode, The Invisible Child, in which Too-Tikky tells Moomintroll that there are many lost souls in Moominvalley that needed to be heard. The screen then cut to Snufkin leaving the valley. It would have been really cool to find out what that meant!

His abandonment issues never really get addressed. Refusing to let Snufkin meet his father was just baiting the audience. It was also just bad writing! What's his deal—where's his lore?? Who made him like this? Why is he so afraid of intimacy? Why are basic fundamental questions about this main character being left unanswered?

It really is disappointing. Every adaptation (and the books, if we're being honest) treat Snufkin like a stoic hero. He doesn't want to be looked up to, yet he's always painted as a character that you should. This is the first adaptation that gave him flaws. He felt like a character that needed growth and time. He was never given either.

I won't spend so much time on Snorkmaiden, even though she was robbed, too. She never grew to be more independent apart from Moomintroll. In the same vein as Moomintroll and Snufkin, her character ends exactly the way she started. All of her character growth vanished in seasons 3 and 4. I love this version of Snorkmaiden. I certainly prefer it to her other portrayals. But the writers screwed her over so bad, it's heartbreaking.

None of the characters actually learn or change. Everyone sort of becomes a static character, which makes any semblance of a plot impossible to write. For the fun of it, I will try to decode a plot, anyway.

So, you're not crazy. Moomintroll and Snufkin were set up to be endgame. There was a way to make Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden endgame in a satisfying way, but the writers chose against it. It's a very suspicious backtracking that reeks of queerbaiting, but let me explain the narrative romance angles first.

I feel unsatisfied with the ending Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden got. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, they would frequently lie for each other's approval, and jealousy was a common player. They would ignore each other when someone more interesting came along. Ultimately, what led to the break up in season 2, Farwell Snorkmaiden, was the understanding that Snorkmaiden was just more mature than Moomintroll. In her own way, she was ready for a serious committed relationship, and Moomintroll was not.

However, there was never a formal conversation of them getting back together. They just sort of were? And all of the problems in their relationship were never resolved. They still lied to each other and ignored one another for something shinier all the time. It was irritating. These two became no better than Sniff in the end. I'm standing on business with that.

I'm also not convinced that Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden can have a healthy relationship after the finale. They will definitely break up again. They haven't resolved any of the issues that led to their original break.

Okay, so Moomintroll and Snufkin. Let's chat about that for a while. The first three episodes establish Moomintroll, Snufkin, and their relationship together (in that order). We, as viewers, are led to believe that their relationship (either romantic or platonic) is the key to understanding the story. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, every single motif for love (lanterns, fires, the ruby, etc.) that is introduced is done with Moomintroll and Snufkin. Regardless, different expressions of love and intimacy were the focal point of the show. That was almost completely abandoned in seasons 3 and 4. While turning the focus on the greater community could have added depth, it ultimately detracted from the close personal relationships that were driving the narrative.

So, the Groke. She does not just represent fear, she is a reflection of each character's own fears. I loved this! I thought it was a really cool concept, and the ways that she was portrayed in seasons 1 and 2 were excellent. Here's the thing. In her introduction in season 1, Night of the Groke, we are also introduced to lanterns/fires as a motif about love. The Groke is chasing love and craves acceptance. It's not quite something you can catch, and trying to is a failed endeavor. Brilliant episode. We saw what Snufkin's greatest fear was earlier in the season (loving Moomintroll), but we needed to pay more attention to see Moomintroll's fear. I think it was complex. On one hand, with the lanterns, Moomintroll could also be afraid to love Snufkin. However, as we saw at the end of Moomintroll and the Seahorses, he needs to learn independence before he can love someone. This was also reinforced through Snorkmaiden in Farwell Snorkmaiden. The fires and lanterns were constant reoccurring motifs (not just for Moomintroll and Snufkin, though that's where the focus is right now). Rewatch the season 3 episode, Lonely Mountain, and that one monologue that Snufkin gives will start to make sense.

By abandoning these important motifs, the Groke's conclusion feels unfinished. It just felt wrong. In the end, she did just represent fear. This completely erased the layer of depth that she had to start.

For Moomintroll to learn to be more independent and self-reliant, he needed to learn from Snufkin. For Snufkin to learn to accept love and responsibility, he needed to learn from Moomintroll. They were the keys to each other's growth. When they were together, the plot moved. When they weren't, the episodes felt like filler for the most part.

Also, small detail, despite the change in one photo (the baby photo to grown Moomintroll) the photo with Moomintroll and Snufkin never changed. Which narratively makes no sense.

The writers originally set this up for them to be romantically involved. Which, given the context of their dynamic in the books and comics, makes sense. It's not as much of a stretch as people are trying to gaslight themselves into believing. These characters were originally heavily queer coded. However, the original text is sort of a tragedy. No matter what happened, Moomintroll and Snufkin could never truly be together—no matter how much they tried. This mirrored Tove Jansson's relationship to her first fiance Atos Wirtanen as well as her relationship to her own queerness. However, it looked like Moominvalley wanted something different. Queer people had enough tragic stories told already. This one would tell queer kids that it was going to be okay, and that they were going to find love. Tove Jansson's original message about love and freedom was finally going to be understood.

Instead, not only was this potentially beautiful story abandoned, it was mocked. In the season 4 episode, Midsummer Meddling, there was a scene I found quite shocking. Sniff had convinced himself that he was to fall in love with somebody. One of his "love interests" was a male scarecrow. This is the only openly queer semblance of romance that we got and it was played off as a joke. In the final season. They didn't even backtrack Moomintroll and Snufkin, they just completely ignored everything that was set up.

In the final episode, Comet in Moominland, there was an incredibly brief exchange between Moomintroll and Snufkin about who looked up to who. This would have been a fantastic place to give these characters some sort of conclusion, but we don't get that. In all of the 45 minute special, the characters are never prioritized. In the whole season, even. Really, not a single character got a satisfying conclusion, but Moomintroll and Snufkin were the most important.

This is a powerful and historic piece of queer media. Tove Jansson's queer legacy was so iconic that she was directly cited as an influence in the legalization of same sex marriage in Finland. Her work proved to further the queer community. Despite sodomy laws and fear of incarceration, Jansson continued to do what she could to tell her own queer story. That is what Moomin is. That is its legacy.

I was prepared to defend Gutsy if Snufmin didn't go canon. At the end of the day, it's usually TV execs threatening to pull the whole show off the air. The show was too costly to risk any interesting writing. However, the writers didn't recover, and some of the writing just felt downright melicious at times.

Anyway, if you love slice-of-life content, you probably loved this season and the show's conclusion. It is such a shame that the creators promised something completely different from what the show turned out to be. It's no surprise that viewers are disappointed.

I do have one more thing to say ☝️😀. This is going to hurt Moomin's mission to expand to the US. It's been very obvious that they have been trying to expand to North America. Brave and bold writing would have caught the attention of new viewers. Instead, few Americans are going to recommend this show to others. Aside from that, the next logical move is to make an American adaptation. Good luck trying to find a competent YA cartoon creator that won't threaten to walk off the project if they can't have Snufmin. That being said, they'll have better luck making that canon here anyway. (Everybody say, "thank you Rebecca Sugar and Pendleton Ward.")

Well, in the end, I don't think the fight to make Snufmin a real, transparent queer story ends with Moominvalley. I can say, though, that the prioritization of profit over respect and love for others is not at all what Tove Jansson would have wanted.

Seasons 1 and 2 were peak, and season 3, episode 8, was batshit insane. That is all.

#this took me several hours to type out #but im glad i did #i feel like theres so much more to talk about #and theres so many more episodes i can rant about #but i more so want to hear what other people think #homophobia won today #and so did bad writing #sad!#thoughts of dante #moomin #moominvalley #moominvalley season 4 #side tangent #the joxter having a song called you keep me warm when we already have a motif about fires and warmth and love #and then we dont do anything with that #they barely did anything narratively with the joxter #i love him so much and i love his voice actor #but hes really representative of the greater problem with that season #huge missed potential #hes there for three total episodes but does not add to a single characters development and least of all the overall plot #maybe ill make a separate post and the motifs and how they were completely abandoned in season 4

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starpros-sunshine · 5 months ago

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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope

PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?

I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me

But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.

Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).

Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.

I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line

from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)

kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.

And then dropping this?

I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.

Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?

The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4

And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:

"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.

He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.

3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.

But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.

Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)

(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)

So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p

PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game

as well as absolute banger dialogue such as

Among others <33

And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long

And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.

And that concludes my essay :)

#I so won this #there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was #thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast #if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together #or something like that idk but it is appreciated #they are my everything they really are #I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least #or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda #How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny #You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake #it's so passionate too anon i admire you #imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made #I wish I had that much vigor in me #I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it #thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment #I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding #the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day #as good karma or something #I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious #best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei #okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader #but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you #I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo #it's good it's really good in the overall context #wataei #eichi tenshouin #hibiki wataru

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slimslamflimflam · 4 months ago

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Wait if all the journal 3 pages were restored after Weirdmageddon why does Bill’s book insist there were still missing pages that just conveniently happened to pertain to his incredibly sad backstory and concepts brought up earlier in that same book

#going off of memory here for that first bit but iirc the journal gets chucked into the bottomless pit alongside the other two #with all of their pages still intact #right?#so then why would bill have more pages if there shouldn’t be any more?#gf #screw it this goes in the general tags too #gravity falls #the book of bill #ANSWER ME YOU FUCKASS TRIANGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO if the answer is supposed to be “ford tore them out of the journal out of shame” wouldn’t it make more sense to leave them in as a-#cautionary tale? he already left the “my muse” pages in why should these be any different? to protect his identity? fiddleford’s?#the last half of journal 3 throws all anonymity out of the window too #so then if he didn’t tear the pages out himself… why would bill have them? HOW would he have them; he’s stuck in the theraprism!#did he stow them away somewhere? nope; he burnt the journals and then got punched into oblivion. could one have popped up at the theraprism #nope; specifies its journal 3 lost pages! how could he have gotten journal 3?#okay so the pages are fake. what about the events that happened on them?#look into my eyes and tell me you really believe fiddleford won against the krampus. the guy who built a mind eraser gun after getting-#snatched by a different monster.#sure SOME events could have happened— who’s to say they didn’t? but when you take into account everything else about the pages and the book #how believable is it really?#how believable is anything he says for that matter? how much are truths? half truths? lies on paper but truths from a different angle?#“LIE UNTIL WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE BECOMES TRUE.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU CANT REMEMBER WHATS A LIE AND WHAT ISNT.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU ARENT LYING ANYMORE”#how much are lies that he wishes were true?

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astralhope · 2 months ago

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- I understand how you feel, Yuma... and I don't want you to accept it. -

Rank 55: Yuma Jets!!

#Did you hear that? That's the sound of my soul shattering because of them #Astral's sorrowful gaze and Yuma's hopeless reaction #It doesn't matter if Yuma won the duel #there's no way for Astral to avoid his fate #and Astral has already accepted that dreadful future that was reserved to him #because it is the only way he could protect Yuma's world and his world as well #He wants to protect their worlds even at the cost of his existence #The fact that Astral sees himself as something small to sacrifice destroys me #for him his life is nothing compared to the safety of their worlds #and Yuma understands why he has to do that but how can he accept it?#how can he accept that there is nothing he can do to save Astral? How can he stand and watch Astral sacrifice himself?#it's unfair it's awful but there's nothing that they can do #that end was decided from the beginning #and it is made more painful because Astral has learned how to live thanks to Yuma and Yuma has got more attached to Astral day after day #and now Yuma has to watch Astral meet his terrible fate and Astral has to accept it because there is no way to fight it #the only thing Astral can do is ask Yuma to not lose his spirit his Kattobingu #to not accept that hopeless feelings to not let that sadness take over his heart #I want to hug Astral I want to hug both of them and never let them go #Every sentence in this scene is carved in my mind #especially Astral's ones because he accepts what will happen to him but there is also so much sadness in his words #he deserves to be happy I want him to be happy #yugioh zexal #yuma tsukumo #astral zexal #astral yugioh #zexal #yu gi oh zexal #ygo zexal #zexal manga #zexal manga spoiler

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nolongrrhuman · 2 months ago

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Arcane act 3 destroyed me but in like the best way so I WILL be needing about a year to get over it

#arcane #arcane act three #arcane act 3 #jayvik #caitvi #spoilers in tags #arcane spoilers in tags #JAYVIK DOUBLE SUICIDE HAS ME KNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE #Viktor has always been so me but this kinda solidified it and idk what thats doing to me but its interesting #his relationship with disability means so so soooo much to me #physicallydisabledtwinsies #he gave me the confidence to start using my cane in public a couple years back and i dont think ill ever forget that #i love you viktor from arcane #SIDEBARRING BUT HIS MACHINE HERALD DESIGN!!!!!!!!#FINALLY!!#ALSO SWAIN!!!!!#could be Raum considering the time of events but that doesnt make much sense but neither does Swain already having the deal w/him... IDKIDK #losing my cool they gave me everything i wanted and more but also less but i cant even be upset bc I WON #like tears r streaming from my arcane eyes rn #TIMEBOMB CANON TIMEBOMB REAL #there was sooo much to this act that means so much to me and i cant even begin to dosect it all

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seventh-district · 2 months ago

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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

#normal Saturday morning behavior #redacted spoilers #redacted audio #redacted sam #Seven.txt #rp audio stuff #well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold #and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet #eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info #bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts #which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn #like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared #anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort #and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way #but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time #when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... ��#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm #i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me #then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad #but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d #hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share #but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope #which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually #anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time #Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something #*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow

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rabbithaver · 3 months ago

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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post #like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide #which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone #> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won #i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare #and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that #but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it #so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything #if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again #i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable #i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people #like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation #again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good #person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make #>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be #when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be #im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry

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girlivealwaysbean · 3 months ago

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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn

omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?

#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that #bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like #also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought #i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching #koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein #there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and #there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana #it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here #and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it #because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right #also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am #like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would #go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too #but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in #fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too #i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because #we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush #i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once #then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things #me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then #not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very #big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us #phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long #saumyuuuuuu

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adore-gregor · 13 days ago

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#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful #having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad #and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop #i hate it sm #and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still #it always gets worse in the evening #like help i just want this to end #what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left #in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid #and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh #to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm #i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵‍💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst #i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot #and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat #well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦‍♀️

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weedle-testaburger · 2 years ago

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unpopular opinion but actually i love when heroes refuse to kill their enemies and no one is gonna make me not love it

#personal crap #i think it makes writers have to be more creative about how they solve problems #plus it allows you to play with the morality of killing and what ways to fight are ok #(doctor who and su do that a lot obviously and imho it slaps idc what anyone else says)#and have stone cold badass moments of like emotional superiority (vash from trigun does that a fair bit #and my favourite recent example is how in gotg 3 rocket refuses to kill the high evolutionary bc he knows he's already won #and doesn't want to do to him what he did to lylla teefs and floor)#when heroes do just kill their enemies in cold blood it feels kinda boneheaded to me by comparison #not to mention a lot of purity culture weirdos loooove when villains are just one-dimensional evil dicks who have to be destroyed #bc that plays really nicely into their morality #oh and i just thought of another one: in rotj luke refusing to kill palpatine to take his place is so cool #especially in contrast to how in tros rey just kills him like it's nothing even though they spent the whole trilogy #building up the idea her allegiance to the light side of the force isn't as strong as most jedi #only to go 'nah if you kill palpatine everything's good'

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the-physicality · 5 months ago

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:PPPPPP [vs atl 8/23]

i did not breathe for like 5 minutes at the end

one day we're gonna talk about the number of highlight assists from dt that are happening Every Game

let's talk today about the 3 highest +/- on the night: Celeste Taylor [8], Natasha Mack [7], and DT [5]

see what happens when the shots fall?

also did you see that we won that game In Regulation because we ReBounded The Ball?

DT holding up the ✌️✌️✌️ like stewie at the gold medal game

Celeste Taylor 9 points in 10 minutes 80% FG [career high points]

We don't talk enough about how consistently good natasha mack is actually. she doesn't shoot a lot but she's at 56% on the season

BG found out how close she was to 800 blocks tonight and decided to try for it [she's one shy now]

speaking of stats, I believe DT has tied Lindsey Whalen for 4th in assists

I could speak on how maybe if all our drives to the net in the 2nd half are getting blocked we should try for some jump shots instead or to go at the basket from the other side. but i will be a good fan and say that they were fouling us and no one was calling it

I think the thing with the offensive rebounding is that because we take a lot of 3s, they are harder to offensively rebound and we are very efficient from 2, so they need to be rebounded less. we don't need to do it a lot but when we need to do it, it becomes an issue

celeste should be playing more, she should be coming in for s*phie, tash, and kah. and should have more time on the court with dt [because I think they play really well together]

there was a moment in the game where the shot missed and the rebound went somewhere and dt bounced it off of an atl player and then out of bounds to get the possession

refs no stopping the game after a basket when someone is on the ground is malpractice esp holding their head [and then no one from atl getting a foul on that when they called a foul on kah for something less but still similar?]

#phoenix mercury #again very thankful “we” didn't get a tech bc i did lip read a very clear fuck around the flagrant[which was it a flagrant or was it a flop #i'm going to speak on the ct dt thing some more so buckle up #i think there is a level of alignment that comes with CT playing in 12 which is DT's USA number and also 1 away from 13 which is PT #of course PT CT also share a last name and the alignment of the they've never won a chip without the both of them #plus the latina thing and the being good at basketball thing and the being a guard thing #this is some red string on a bulletin board shit but the red string is strong #on the topic of flagrants i did watch the chen cart thing and i think that was a little more of bad timing than anything else #but if there's head contact they have to do what they do #so let's not make drama where there is none Please #one more thing: do i wish dt had another 20 piece? yes. but i will take this bc still raises her ppg and as you know i'm all about stats :D #so we all know about the paige flau'jae comparison thing and how flau'jae was saying how she wants consistent highlights #dt has such consistent highlights that the bounce off someone else to get the possession also already exists

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