#you advertised these communities to me and now are trying to push everyone out

[baka-monarch]

Tiktokers be like:

Furries: we HATE nsfw furries they are gross and shouldn't exist! >:(

Therians: we HATE furries, especially any freaky ones they are gross and shouldn't exist! >:(

Kemonomimis: we HATE furries and therians they are gross and shouldn't exist! >:(

....guys this- this isn't- this isn't how you be excepting you- you very much are doing to sister communities what haters do to your community- you know that right?

[collapsedsquid]

The Darién Gap was thought for centuries to be all but impassable. Explorers and would-be colonizers who entered tended to die of hunger or thirst, be attacked by animals, drown in fast-rising rivers, or simply get lost and never emerge. Those dangers remain, but in recent years the jungle has become a superhighway for people hoping to reach the United States. According to the United Nations, more than 800,000 may cross the Darién Gap this year—a more than 50 percent increase over last year’s previously unimaginable number. Children under 5 are the fastest-growing group. The U.S. has spent years trying to discourage this migration, pressuring its Latin American neighbors to close off established routes and deny visas to foreigners trying to fly into countries close to the U.S. border. Instead of stopping migrants from coming, this approach has simply rerouted them through the jungle, and shifted the management of their passage onto criminal organizations, which have eagerly taken advantage. The Gulf Clan, which now calls itself Ejército Gaitanista de Colombia, effectively controls this part of northern Colombia. It has long moved drugs and weapons through the Darién Gap; now it moves people too. Everyone who works in the Darién Gap must be approved by the cartel and hand over a portion of their earnings. They have built stairs into hillsides and outfitted cliffs with ladders and camps with Wi‑Fi. They advertise it all on TikTok and YouTube, and anyone can book a journey online. There are many paths through. The most grueling route is the cheapest—right now, about $300 a person to cross the jungle on foot. Taking a boat up the coast can cost more than $1,000.

[...] Guides and porters follow the migrants in the jungle with their iPhones rolling, asking, “Do you feel good?��� and “Have we treated you well?” They film incessantly during the first day of walking, when people are still able to conjure a smile. (Even I ended up in one of their videos.) They post the videos on social media, selling trips across the jungle as if they were joyful nature walks. The profit motives of the cartel have become yet another factor fueling migration. [...] The porters we had paid to continue on with us told us to stay close together because bandits were thought to be intimidated by large groups. Later, we learned that was false—they were in fact targeting large groups, perhaps because it was more efficient than robbing a handful of people at a time. Our anxiety grew when we passed a couple of abandoned backpacks. We pushed through thicker and thicker brush until I realized there was no longer any sign of a path. One porter accused another of leading us astray. They started arguing, until a third hissed, “No yelling!” We turned around, but a bottleneck formed in front of a fallen tree trunk. One of the porters shouted for us to hurry: “Grab the kids and go!” [...] Most of the migrants I met in the processing line told me they’d been robbed by bandits at a checkpoint within a day’s walk of the community. The women said they’d been groped; some said they’d been digitally penetrated under the guise of a search for hidden cash. Panamanian border officers standing nearby showed no interest in investigating. Indigenous leaders say they have asked the government for help addressing crime against migrants, but the situation seems to be getting worse. In February, Doctors Without Borders published a report on sexual violence against migrants in the Darién Gap, showing a frequency more typical of war zones. Soon after, the government kicked the organization out of the area.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ragatha x mute s/o headcanons pls? I love her so much ToT she's so sweet

Ragatha x mute!reader

UEUEUEUE I wasnt expecting to get TADC requests but I am all for it! Perhaps I should make an official post to advertise requests being open, feed into this new interest of mine.. mweheheheh

Side note! I'm writing this on mobile, so there may be more typos and grammar mistakes than my recent stuff (which has been done on computer)

I simply

Do not wanna get out of bed, it's very cold in my house <\\3

That said I hope you enjoy! Possible OOC since I'm still studying characters and trying to figure out how I wish to write/interpret them!

+ some other hcs since the post felt too short with the simple base idea

Right off the back with the main idea that helped push me to answer this now rather than later; ragatha would definitely learn sign language so she can understand you, if you find sign language to be easier/more convenient ! If not she always keeps a pen and paper on her in case you need it/forget your own notebook

Immediately welcomes you to the circus, similar to in the pilot she would show you around and explain the general way of things in the digital circus

Advocates for you when others (mostly Jax) speak over you (ignoring your signing, your writing, ect) or dont pay attention to you in a conversations

She doesnt try to force you to speak, nor does she pry for why you're mute

Generally very sweet and patient and stands up for you in group settings and makes you people pay attention to your input

No thoughts only you two cuddling in one of yalls rooms and you start pressing signs into her skin, communicating that you love her or that shes pretty or that you're enjoying being around her , stuff like that. I think that's sweet, like how some people trace a finger over someones freckles or moles during cuddles

Now onto more general hcs and ideas

I saw a ferris wheel at the digital carnival. You already know what I'm about to say: THE FERRIS WHEEL GETTING STUCK TROPE. Ragatha tries to keep the air nice and light while you guys wait for Caine to fix the issue. Afterall, she ain't afraid of anything but centipedes!

Speaking of, you're not afraid of centipedes, are you? Borrowing this from random things #7, where I mention an idea of the reader helping rid her room of the wretched things, that can be a surprisingly nice bonding moment with you two just talking and you letting her vent her frustrations

You two naturally gravitate to one another when Caine has everyone do a game or challenge or whatever he has planned for that day

[lone-sk]

I think Overwatch 2 is in a really interesting state right now, equal parts funny and depressing. It's obvious to everyone that played the original that the game is unbalanced and unfun, and the main cause of this is the switch from 6v6 to 5v5. It's not fun to play as a tank anymore. Each tank character now has to do twice as much work, which means they've all been buffed like crazy, but this also means they get focused harder. So even though they're the strongest characters in the game by far, they're not fun to play because you're constantly getting focused and stunned. And it's not fun to fight against them either, because they sponge up damage like crazy.

And Blizzard refuses to change it back, because it'll be admitting that the move to Overwatch 2 was just a cover to overhaul the micro transactions. Because they've delivered on zero of the other promises they made about Overwatch 2. The new gamemode (push) was disappointing, the new heroes were locked behind a battle pass, the PvE wasn't as robust as advertised, and it was locked behind another paywall. 5v5 is the only thing they can 100% say they did, so they have to pretend it was a success, and that people like it.

If you watch the developer streams, they'll say shit like "oh, we loved 6v6, but we have to listen to what the community wants, and have that inform the direction of the game!" The community where the loudest voices are streamers and YouTubers that financially benefit from the continued success of this game. If you seek out smaller channels, and actual professional players, they all say 5v5 is shit and they're right to do so.

This is one of the most extreme cases of square peg - round hole I've seen. Go back and read the patch notes from the last few years, and take a shot everytime a tank hero gets buffed. More HP, shorter cooldown, more armor, a different passive, reduced knockback. The next change will definitely fix 5v5 forever guys.

What really makes this so frustrating to me is that they had it. Overwatch was an absurdly successful game on basically every metric. People loved the lore, there was a thriving professional and casual scene, the cosplays, the fanart, the porn. When it came out, Overwatch was inescapable. They could have continued, adding new characters or maps every few months, and it would have been fine.

But then Fortnite and Apex came along. The default monetization model for online games changed, and of course Blizzard had to get in on that action. So, they cut off the head of their golden goose, and now they're left with a broken game that's hemorrhaging players. It's so pathetic. They're trying to bring people back by slowly adding back the things they liked in Overwatch 1. Hey guys, we added the fremium currency back! The new characters aren't locked behind the battle pass anymore! Please come back!

And what's sad is that Overwatch 1 is gone forever. We can't go back to it. It was a genuinely fantastic game, a true cultural phenomenon, that doesn't exist anymore. Overwatch 2 will keep shambling along until development isn't profitable, or Blizzard looses too many harassment lawsuits. Then, one day, maybe the source code will be leaked online, and some incredibly talented and dedicated fans will figure out a way to get custom servers running, like they did with Titanfall 2. And we can experience this game like when it was good. If they don't get hit with a cease-and-desist.

Does anyone else feel tired?

[fancoloredglasses]

The (rebirth, death, and) rebirth of Optimus Prime (The things an Autobot has to do to generate toy sales!)

[All images are owned by Hasbro, Marvel, and Sunbow Productions. Please don’t sue me]

When Hasbro wanted to release a new line of Transformer toys and remove ones that weren’t selling as well, they came up with a reason for the change in the lineup for their advertising the animated series.

There was just one problem: the kids didn’t want to see Optimus Prime die (this is why, when G.I.Joe: the Movie was later released, Duke was merely critically wounded and not killed)

For those who have been long-time fans of Transformers in its many media representations, you will no doubt notice that Optimus Prime dies...a lot. Now, I’m not being cynical or anything, but his deaths (and later resurrections) seem to coincide with a new version of Optimus in the toy line.

In fact, Optimus died not once, but twice in the 80s animated series. So let’s turn the clocks back to the 1980s (or, in the series continuity, to the far-flung future of 2006) and cover 2 episodes (one in two parts)

If you would like to watch the first episode, it’s available on Pluto TV.

We open on a space battle, and the Autobots are losing. Meanwhile the Decepticons (led by Galvatron) have launched missiles that destroy the ship!

Fortunately, the Autobots launch a shuttle before the missiles connect. On the ship is the Usual Cast (Rodimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Arcee, and Kup) along with Spike and Daniel Witwicky. With no communications and little air for the humans, Rodimus makes the executive decision to investigate an anomaly on their scanners, which appears to be some sort of space station.

Unfortunately, the Decepticons find it as well.

Kup identifies the station as a tomb for the Autobots who fell in the Cybertron War.

Daniel reads off the names of the toys that are not being restocked Autobots who have died (mostly in the movie) when suddenly…

(Optimus has looked better)

Daniel immediately runs screaming back to the others. Rodimus takes Daniel to investigate Optimus’s resting place…

…only it’s empty!

Rodimus then hears the Decepticons approach and rush to defend the dead. Unfortunately, the Autobots are outnumbered and they fall back into the tomb.

Fortunately…?

So now we’re dealing with zombie robots?

Having seen a ghost, Galvatron orders the Decepticons to retreat. So maybe the Autobots should move their base there?

With the Decepticons driven off, Optimus asks about the Matrix of Leadership, which Rodimus happily hands over (despite Ultra Magnus’s protests)

Only Optimus doesn’t seem to want it. Instead, he’s working on building a ship to leave the Tomb. However, Rodimus won’t take no for an answer.

So Rodimus just wanted to go back to slacking off, eh? However…

Optimus attacks the Autobots! He then sets the self-destruct and flies off, putting the tomb on a course for a sun!

Meanwhile, Optumus has flown to Cybertron, giving a bullshit story about what happened to the others, blaming the Quintessons. The Autobots immediately mobilize to attack.

Uh-oh. It turns out that Optimus coming back from the dead was part of a Quintesson plot to destroy the Autobots!

Meanwhile at the tomb…

The Autobots quickly build their own ship and escape before the tomb is destroyed, setting off to Cybertron. Unfortunately, their jury-rigged ship has issues trying to land when they get there.

After crashing landing on Cybertron, the Autobots are informed by the Dinobots the Optimus has taken everyone to attack the Quintessons (and yet they left Snarl and Sludge?)

As the Autobot fleet approaches the Quintessons’ base, they receive a message that Hot Rod and the others are en route and to stop the attack, but Optimus pushes onward.

As the Autobots approach, the Quintessons begin phase one of their trap.

About that time, Rodimus Hot Rod and the others arrive and try to halt the attack.

Unfortunately, whatever the Quintessons did to Optimus causes him to disbelieve and orders Hot Rod’s ship to be destroyed.

Fortunately, everyone abandons ship before it blows up. Even better…

...Perceptor gets visual proof that Hot Rod’s message was genuine!

As the rescue teams retrieve their wayward Autobots, the Quintessons discuss phase two: forcing the Autobot fleet toward a massive bomb that will destroy it!

Inside the Autobot flagship, Hot Rod tells the Autobots to halt the attack, then goes to take command from Optimus.

It’s almost like Optimus didn’t want leadership foisted on him by some punk kid who didn’t wanna grow up.

Unfortunately, despite not wanting command, Optimus fights back.

Never heard that complaint before.

Somehow, Hot Rod manages to subdue Optimus and takes back the Matrix, upgrading to Rodimus Prime once again.

The others manage to find Rodimus and informs him they’re abandoning ship and the rest of the fleet is retreating. However…

Optimus takes command of the flagship and flies it straight for the bomb, detonating it so it can’t be used against the Autobots again.

And so we got a tease as to the return of the best-selling greatest Autobot of the era.

This in and of itself would be a cruel joke on the part of the writers, but when this episode re-aired later, a voice-over was added…

(Thanks to inthepark002)

Oh, now THIS is too much! How many times are they gonna break our hearts?!

Let’s find out as we move to the final two episodes of season 3, which is a two-part episode. If you would like to see the first part, it’s available on Roku.

We open with a test flight of a spacecraft capable of withstanding high temperatures (you remember CNN covering this back in 2006, right?) when they see…

…another spaceship about to collide with an asteroid. They scan for life and discover…

Not again!

The pilot (Gregory) has a flashback to a fight between Optimus and Megatron that disfigured him.

Gregory’s co-pilot (Jessica) tries talking sense into him as she suits up to attempt to save Optimus (how? It’s not like you can carry him to safety!) Despite his better judgement, Gregory follows.

I guess they’re doing to drag him to safety. They tie a cable abound Optimus and somehow (I know he’s weightless, but his mass is still a few thousand times that of the pilots combined!) drag him out of the ship before it collides (wouldn’t it be easier to put booster rockets on the ship to redirect its course?)

After the collision…

The humans’ ship is covered in some sort of red dust. Oh well, time to head back to Earth.

Back on Earth, it’s discovered that the “dust” is actually some sort of spore. They test the spores on some lab rats (seriously? I mean, I know that’s what lab rats are for, but you don’t even try running any sort of tests on them before introducing test subjects?) and discover…

The mice become aggressive when exposed. What’s more, the spores are passed from one to another by touch! They need to destroy that shit right away!

Unfortunately Jessica is the only one who realizes that, but before she can talk sense into the others…

Their lab falls under attack from the Terrorcons (each sold separately)!

Fortunately, the Technobots (also sold separately) arrive to defend the lab. Both sets of Transformers combine making the battle Abonimous vs. Computron (in case you were wondering why you needed to buy them all)

Unfortunately, the Terrorcons get what they came for, destroying the lab in the process (despite the Technobots’ best efforts)

And Jessica is injured! Jessica’s father (Mark) blames the Technobots (technically all Transformers, but the Technobots are the handy scapegoats)

Then Gregory (who, if you recall, also has an irrational hatred for All Things Transformer) comes up with an idea Jessica would not condone…

Gregory intends on somehow using Optimus’s body to spread the spores to the Transformers so they destroy one another (he does realize the Transformers are already trying to destroy one another, right?)

Eventually, Mark receives work that Jessica is awake. However…

…he’s not too happy that his daughter is now a cyborg.

When Mark and Jessica return to the lab, Gregory announces he’s been unable to revive Optimus (there they go again, getting our hopes up!)

THE MONSTERS!

Jessica manages to talk them out of melting Optimus down, but only so they can tell the Autobots where he is so they can be infected. They somehow get Jessica to go find an Autobot, despite her protests.

Jessica finds Ultra Magnus, who take her to Rodimus Prime.

Once Rodimus hears “Optimus”, he’s deaf to everything else (including Jessica warning that it’s a trap). He mobilizes the Protectobots (say it with me…”Each sold separately”), who merge into Defensor, as well as the Arielbots (you know the drill) who merge into Superion, and every other Autobot (including those who don’t combine…collect them all!)

Wow, Rodimus is going a bit overkill for two humans, isn’t he?

Unfortunately…

…Rodimus’s mobilization does not go unnoticed.

Ratbat returns to Soundwave, who plays back everything that happened in the last scene.

Looks like we may see the lab trashed again, only this time it will be the humans’ fault.

Later, the Autobots arrive at the lab as Rodimus lays out his plan to retrieve Optimus’s body.

You should’ve thought of that before you let Ratbat snoop.

Rodimus and Jessica enter the main lab while the rest of the Autobots sneak around back (they’re three stories tall and you expect them to be stealthy?) However…

…is in the front lab, meaning…

(Thanks to chatguy)

Infected with the spores, the Autobots turn the back lab into a demolition derby! Eventually, they break free of the lab, forcing the uninfected Autobots to escape.

Fortunately, Rodimus got Optimus’s body first (how the hell did he get Optimus up there? He has no arms in vehicle mode!)

Jessica leads Rodimus to the loading dock, however…

…Galvatron has other plans. Unfortunately for him…

…the infected Autobots have still other plans! With his troops infected by the spores, Galvatron retreats after Rodimus warns him what’s happening.

Meanwhile, the cops have arrived to try to stop the infected Superion (GOOD LUCK!) Fortunately, the Autobots are doing their best to help…

…but Superion infects Defensor! Jesus, this is turning into a zombie movie in a hurry!

Rodimus returns with Optimus to see if Wreck-Gar can do anything.

Then Optimus remembers that the Quintessons revived Optimus before, so he contacts Sky Lynx.

So Sky Lynx is off to the far reaches of the galaxy (his words, not mine) to retrieve a Quintesson (exactly how fast are those engines that he’ll get there and back before the zombie virus spores infect the planet?)

Rodimus then realizes that Autobot City is also a Transformer: Metroplex, so he shuts Metroplex down as the infected Autobots arrive!

Rodimus flees as Ultra Magnus tries to infect him.

Fortunately, Rodimus isn’t alone as Wreck-Gar lassos Ultra Magnus before he can infect Rodimus. However…

…and with a touch, Wreck-Gar is infected! Then…

Well, that’s all she wrote, I guess.

And if you think the spores would be happy with rats and Transformers…

…you’d be wrong. I hope Mark and Gregory (remember them?) are proud of themselves.

What’s worse…

…it’s spread to deep space as well! Fortunately for that Quintesson, Sky Lynx has arrived and offers a ride in exchange for Optimus’s life.

Later, the Quintesson is making sure Optimus is fully functional before restoring power, then asks how they’ll deal with the spores.

You guys put a lot of faith in an Autobot who has a major martyr complex.

Finally, all is ready.

Well, that’s not ominous at all! But there’s still the spores to deal with, so let’s get to the conclusion, also available on Roku.

Sky Lynx gives Optimus a rundown on what happened in the previous episode.

Fortunately, not all of the Autobots were infected by the zombie virus spores, but unfortunately most are injured.

Not much of a force, especially since they can’t touch anyone infected. Optimus drafts the Quintesson for repair duty.

Eventually, repairs are made, but Bumblebee needed a complete overhaul.

Optimus re-christens Bumblebee “Goldbug” (available now!)

Unfortunately, Optimus needs the Matrix of Leadership to come up with a way to beat the spores, and that’s currently in Rodimus’s possession (and given the last time he handed it over, Rodimus wouldn’t be too happy to do so again even if he wasn’t infected with murder spores)

Jessica offers a possible solution: coat Optimus with the alloy Mark and Gregory (remember them?) developed (remember that?). Since it’s heat and radiation resistant, it might protect Optimus from the spores (hey, I’ve heard worse BS Hail Mary plays). However, the Decepticons have the alloy following their raid in part 1. Guess it’s road trip time! However, Jessica wants to come along. After a bit of debate, Optimus reluctantly agrees.

Meanwhile on the planet Charr…

…Galvatron is having issues controlling his infected followers.

Then the Autobots arrive to offer a truce with Galvatron. Together they drive the infected Decepticons back. Optimus explains they’re here for the alloy the Decepticons stole.

Galvatron leads the Autobots across a giant web. As Galvatron flies across…

…a giant spider attacks (wait, isn’t Sky Lynx with them? Can’t he fly everyone across?) However, the Autobots make short work of it.

Later, giant leeches drop from the ceiling!

After some coercing, Galvatron makes short work of the leeches (and this is why Optimus won’t tell him why they need the alloy; otherwise Galvatron might’ve left them to rust)

Unfortunately, the infected Decepticons have caught up…

… and infected the others! Only Jessica, Optimus, Galvatron, Sky Lynx, and Steeljaw are left!

They reach the alloy, but Jessica accidentally reveals the plan to Galvatron!

Guess the truce is over, but Galvatron is still outnumbered.

Y’know, for someone who was once voiced by Mr. Spock, Galvatron doesn’t think very logically.

Unfortunately…

…the infected Transformers have arrived and infect Jessica!

…who infects Galvatron (serves him right!)

Sky Lynx and Optimus escape with the alloy.

Once coated, Optimus sends Sky Lynx out to find Rodimus (y’know, there are flying Transformers. Isn’t Optimus worried one of them will infect Sky Lynx?), eventually finding him.

(silver-plated Optimus Prime sold separately)

Optimus tries to talk sense to Rodimus, but…

After shooting at Optimus, Rodimus TRANSFORMS AND ROLLS OUT! Optimus gives chase, cornering Rodimus in a junkyard. However…

So much for Sky Lynx!

Optimus finally subdues Rodimus and takes back the Matrix as Rodimus returns to being Hot Rod (collect them all!)

Now that Optimus has the Matrix, he sends his consciousness into it to find an answer.

Meanwhile, the infected have arrived, looking for Optimus.

Inside the Matrix, Optimus has found his answer.

Unfortunately, the ancient Autobots realized no one being had enough wisdom, especially as spread as it is now. Optimus realizes he’ll need the entirety of the Matrix to defeat the spores.

Outside…

(Thanks to sleeperagent)

Once everyone is back to normal, Mark and Gregory apologize for what they did (so they committed bio-terrorism and nearly destroyed the galaxy and they get off with an “I’m sorry”? He’s got a career in politics!)

And while the war isn’t over, Galvatron is willing to thank Optimus for what he did to save the Decepticons. (Wait, what happened to Optimus’s silver plating? Did he have to give the alloy back?)

Furthermore, the Matrix was drained from saving the galaxy, so it’s up to the Autobots to fill it again going forward.

This would’ve been a great series finale, but there was a miniseries that was technically season 4 so Hasbro could sell their new Head Masters line to the kids.

[qnewsau]

Meet the Sydney Bears' new President

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/meet-the-sydney-bears-new-president/

Meet the Sydney Bears' new President

Scott Ridley is the Harbour City Bears new president following the group’s AGM in September.

Ridley was chosen as the next president of the Harbour City Bears at the group’s AGM following Bear Pride on September 7 where the group elected a new committee. But he will already be a familiar face for many in the Sydney community

Ridley told QNews he has been involved socially with Sydney’s bear community since about 2008 but only joined the committee a couple of years ago as the Harbour City Bears’ resident IT guy.

“I first started to volunteer as their IT person and having dealt with the committee around that it was a natural segue to join the committee which I did just before WorldPride which was a bit of a trial by fire,” Ridley said.

“I then moved up into the vice president spot and now that Dale Apple has retired I’ve moved up to president.”

Ridley said that he was not a natural leader but that being involved in running Harbour City Bears brought out the best in him.

“I like getting things done and delivering on good outcomes for the community,” Ridley said.

“I’m not naturally very social or extroverted but this role has given me that push out of my normal comfort zone. It’s been great for creating that interaction in getting to know people from different perspectives and walks of life whereas my natural inclination would be to sit in the corner and be a bit of a wallflower.”

The Harbour City Bears are the largest and most active LGBTQIA+ social group in the Sydney community as well as Australia.

When asked what the reason was for this enduring popularity, Ridley said it was the openness of the bear community.

“We try to be very welcoming and inclusive,” Ridley said.

“The bear movement came about in the late 80s and early 90s as a reaction to people being made to feel that they needed to look a particular way to be accepted in the gay world.

“But the bears said that you can be yourself and even be a bit of a misfit and that’s fine. At the end of the day, everyone is a bit of a misfit in their own way.

“We’re all very down to earth and genuine people. And as a community group we’re very open to everyone. The expectation is that bears are all big hairy guys but we’re open to anyone who just wants to be themselves in their own authentic way. Everybody’s welcome.

“I think we may actually be the biggest bear group in the world. We certainly are in the Southern Hemisphere.”

Asked what his vision was for the Harbour City Bears going forward, Ridley said he wanted to bring sexy back.

“I want to take things old-school and bring the community back to its roots,” Ridley said.

“Not so corporate, sanitised or family friendly. Not full on filth but slightly dirtier than it was.”

“Oxford Street has been dying and I feel that that has mostly been due to big corporates wanting to project a good image and not wanting to upset advertisers and sponsors and pushing out the community side of things.

“I feel like they’re there for the pink dollars and then who cares what happens after that. I want us to be there for the community and not the sponsors.”

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[wolrith]

ghello

quick disclaimer, this is not my usual kind of posting This is an advertisement :) I've been writing a lot lately, a bunch of very messy-looking docs with a lot of content, essentially i've been making an RP server. It's been my hobby for a six or seven years now, and i've been using that experience and some friends I got along the way to make new servers - however, the community got a bit stagnant over the years, and activity came to a standstill, so I'm looking for an alternative way to get a community on top of it. -A brief rundown of the server. The server is focused around a war that has been raging for 40 years, brought to a stalemate at a practically impassable river separating the two sides. Humanity on one side, and 'Higher Races' on the other. Humanity has escaped their old world after years of corrupt monarchies pushing everyone into starvation and war, and came to settle the 'New World'. However, the natives soon discovered them, and waged war - The natives are ruled by a council of 9 godlike figures who've achieved 'Ascension', as they call it, and structure their society around the virtue of ascension as a nationalist philosophy. They hold magic to the highest esteem, while humanity didn't even discover magic before the war. The higher races view humanity as beasts, and came to exterminate them. On the other hand, humanity started out in self-defense, but after evening the field against magic with artillery, set their sights on the secrets of ascension that lie beyond the council's borders. After 40 years in stalemate, players come in from either side of the war to fight and achieve their various goals. [Green is the Council of Heres, the race of Ascended. Yellow is the Order of Svergat, the settling humans]

-Now, why should you join the server? Well, I'm hoping for a more active community to come out of the advertising I'm trying to do, which means hopefully there'll be lots of RP. Unlike DND, the server is very freeform, and doesn't use dice very much. Your actions' consequences rely on basic logic, and the physical stats your character has, which may unlock greater feats. RP isn't limited to whenever a session is set up, and you can RP at any time, with friends or Solo, provided a GM is available (me). The server has a pretty cohesive story planned, through events and progressions in the RP that story will slowly move forwards. Right now its stuck behind a dead-community, which I'd be extremely happy if even one or two of you came about to help me revive it. Shoot me a DM if you're interested.

[bwabys-scenarios]

You can ansswer this privately or just delete it’s up to you. I don’t mean to make you feel anxious I just want to share my thoughts that have festered.

I was in your discord around 5 months ago and there was only ever interaction with you and about two other peoples . I love your blog here and the effort you put into everything you write. I just simply didn’t feel welcome there as a member.

I’m also autistic and felt odd and afraid to type. Any message I made In the channels was ignored or given short answers. I saw it with others who were members too. I don’t blame anyone for it I just found it a bit odd and I got the impression others didn’t feel the need to interact there anymore after that.

At that point, why have a discord? Hate to be rude but besides advertising fanfic writing and sharing thoughts, discord is still a social platform at heart that people like to go to interact when they want/can. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with writing for yourself like here on tumblr but I just don’t see much point in opening a discord server if 2-3 people interact, share, and so on Out of like 40 members total.

For that reason I fid privately messaging close mutuals or people via discord to be the best bet for my social battery. It’s low maintenance and low pressure as I don’t hav a super close connection with them and am able to chat privately or call whenever.

I apologize for any mistakes and any potential tone rudeness. It isn’t my intention to make you or anyone feel bad or to stress. I only wanted to share my thoughts on that matter and I truly to wish you the best.

The simple answer is that if you’ve been in my discord at all, you know that there are only so many active people. Me, Bug, Ella, and recently two more people. I interact with people when I’m online/able, and most of the time those people simply aren’t active at all.

I mean since the START of my server people have barely interacted with me despite my various attempts to schedule games, try to figure out people’s timezones to make communication easier, etc.

Now I put in less effort because I’m not going to keep pushing and pushing when I get no reply/answer. My discord exists so I can find people I click with AND for other people to find people they click with! It’s not supposed to be just me, others have found friends that AREN’T ME!

And I mentioned in my last post that interacting with people one on one is hard for me, so a place like discord where I can talk to people freely is better! And there’s no guarantee my mutuals will want to be in a smaller, more intimate group chat together with people they don’t know.

A discord is much more public and open feeling, at least for me. It’s so much easier to interact with others in that very specific way. The only people I DIRECTLY message are Bug, my friend Faith, and occasionally my other two online friends I’ve been with for a few years.

I’m just not the type that likes one on one conversations, they make me anxious unless I click with the person really well/I’ve known them for a long time. Even with Bug, who helps me write Fixer Upper, we rarely dm each other unless it’s about fanfiction. And that’s fine with me! I prefer speaking in vc!

My discord is for people to post their stuff, to make friends, and talk about fanfiction. It’s not my fault when people are inactive/only want to interact with me and get discouraged when I’m not able to give everyone my full attention.

And also around that time my sister moved in with us during the latter stages of her pregnancy, so I was very busy with helping her, and came to discord to escape, so I wasn’t super focused on interacting with everyone. If you come there now I’m much more active because she’s moving out and I can get some time to myself.

Most of the people who join my server never speak once. Idk how I’m supposed to interact with people that are never active. Everyone who talks in my server usually gets a reply or answer from me, but unless it’s something I’m really interested in/relevant to the conversation I’m probably not going to give a lengthy answer.

I feel like I’m making excuses when I really shouldn’t have to, I can interact with whoever I feel like and people aren’t entitled to my company or time just because they join my discord. Will the chance be higher that I’ll interact? Yes, because that’s my preferred method of communication. But is it guaranteed? Nope!

Basically, I do things the way I do them because they work for ME and make ME comfortable! It’s okay if you don’t completely understand, because every person is different. This is the way I do things. This allows me to interact with other people without feeling anxious. It’s not a perfect method but it works for me.

I’m also literally terrified of people misinterpreting what I say, and struggle to respond to people in fear what I say won’t be what’s socially correct. You may see me start typing and stop. The short replies are also because I often don’t know what to say or how to respond in ways that are “correct”.

I have a feeling I know who this is, and if you’re still in the discord by the time I post this, maybe reach out to me.

Anyways I’m gonna go work on writing. Hope this answers your question.

[british-catgirl]

You always used to hear stories about people with immense power, and one of the things that these people had in common is that they covered their tracks. You would see people repeating things that these people did long ago, mimicking their every recorded action. And nothing ever came from it. Nothing, ever happened. They did these mundane things, and that's it. They just did the thing. Replicating someone's success, someone's fame or infamy was all that occupied anyone's mind. Nobody stops at the point they're comfortable. They're is always this push towards some greater meaning that nobody wants to work for. These acclaimed 'achievements' a concept frowned upon by both scientific and religious communities. A secrets gateway to great boosts in physical or mental strength, that just required some weird wacky combination of actions to achieve. There's a reason you never hear somebody succeeding because of an achievement. Nobody has documented anything about these things. Everyone was just so caught up in trying to get ahead, trying to be as efficient as possible. So caught up in that, that they don't even bother to lift up their trash. Everywhere on the street, random artifacts of household junk littered the place. It may not look bad to a passerby, but when you lived on them, it was very noticeable. Bottles, glass or plastic, shopping bags, scrunched up paper, cigarettes, nails, screws, any real small metal component really, boxes that used to house toys now abandoned, advertisements that come in the mail, hell, lightbulbs and lamps. How do you litter a lamp? Maybe its when in the need of constant upgrading, any replacement threw any worse options onto the street. But just a thought. The council doesn't pay people to pick up this trash anymore. So the only left to pick it up is me. There's only one bin in this entire block, so it's a gathering effort, stockpiling them in a nearby alleyway, concealed so they don't get taken away by the wind. A lot of people think I'm looting, but really, I can't find a good use for any of this stuff. The gears in my head just don't turn like that. I wish they did. This was about my forty-second run from my pile to this bin. In one hand, a bunch of small sweet wrappers, the other, was the lamp someone somehow got onto the street. This was a weekly occurrence. I would say I've done this every week in my life since I was eighteen. I'm thirty six. And somehow, more and more trash littered these streets each passing month. This bin was overflowing, but luckily they checked the bins semi-regularly. Just carefully drop these wrappers in. Four... Three... Two... One... As soon as that last piece of litter gracefully descended onto the pile, a loud, triumphant sound. A sound that, wasn't completely foreign. A sound I heard before, but in a lesser scale, not this fanfare. But as soon as I begin to comprehend the sound it's gone. Well that was weird. Guess I should just continue... But now that I look at it, maybe I could repurpose this lamp. It's not in too bad of a condition and I need a new light. Which confuses me even more; who would throw out a perfectly good lamp? But I need a source of electricity. Maybe a battery? There has to be a way to connect the battery to the lamp. Maybe something in this trash heap. Surely someone left some batteries. I see it near instantly. A old remote, and a battery in it. I was wondering why someone would throw it away, but I saw the buttons bulging out of their spot. I mean it would be a quick fix, just press these buttons back down, (One, two, three, four, five, six, alright there was a lot of buttons to press) And then... (1/2, tumblr won't accept it in its full form)

People are not born with powers but must earn them through secret achievements. You randomly unlock one of the most powerful abilites

[sapphicwildfire]

A personal dump about a past abusive f/f relationship and homophobia in Australia.

It's a strange thing having impaired memory from spending so many years on and off heavy psychiatric medication, because on a random Friday night you suddenly remember that you essentially spent the majority of your teen years in an emotionally and psychologically abusive f/f relationship terrified to seek help because it was a sapphic relationship in rural Australia when everyone was openly hostile due to the same sex marriage vote. Like I would have a full blown week long panic attack if I thought someone outside of my immediate friend group knew I was bisexual, so when my girlfriend and I got together right before the vote when everyone was openly and horrifically homophobic it become a hundred times worse because we tried to keep it secret from both our families and everyone around us outside of our close friends. For reference my state had the highest no vote by 7% at 42.2%. My local area's no vote was an even higher percentage. Hell in 2024 it still stuns me when I see teenagers in openly gay relationships, or openly lgbt, because of how horrific it was being essentially the first people in our school to be outed and this was 2017. Even now the idea of an open and celebrated gay dating culture is shocking to me because of how secretive it was back then being in a rural/conservative community.

We both suffered with severe undiagnosed mental illnesses, and this paranoia just about ruined us and we broke up shortly before the vote but tried to stay friends as girls do, for a while it was sort of on and off until it just soured and she had some sort of breakdown and thought I was the devil incarnate. The relationship itself was only short, but the aftermath and the harassment lasted three years and only truly ended when we graduated. Then she swiped right on me on tinder almost three years later... which I never would have known if not for tinder gold's advertisement gimmick of "here are four mystery people who've liked your profile, tap one card and we'll show you who it is, get tinder gold to see everyone who's liked your profile"

I swiped left in a panic because it was the last person I could have ever expected but despite having a panic attack every time she was in the same room as me for three years I sometimes wonder what the conversation would have been if I'd swiped right. We've loosely made amends through a mutual friend and apologised because so much of the problem was the harassment we both got for being two girls in a relationship, and despite everything I want to see her again after three years now of no contact. Then I have to remind myself it's a trauma response because she was literally trying to push me into suicide for years and physically threatened me whilst I still defended her to everyone around me.

The part that still gets me is I don't know what caused her to turn on me and ruin my life. Months after we broke up and she made it clear we wouldn't be getting back together I started dating a guy in our friend group and I know that hurt her, but the truth was I would have left him in a heartbeat to be with her and the hell only really started after he and I broke up. I thought she had feelings for him, and we had a terrible fight when she found that out, she identified as a lesbian then but identifies as bi now according to mutual friends and I really do think she did have feelings for him that she didn't know how to accept, because she turned on another close friend who dated him after I did with no reason except for him.

When I was 16/17 in the midst of it all I fell deeply in love with a newer friend of mine who said she was bisexual, and for a long time I truly thought we would get together until she was groomed by a guy in his mid twenties (they're still together and we rarely speak) but when I still thought we were going to get together my ex had messaged her and told her she had feelings for her and my god did that cause me to have a complete breakdown despite my friend turning the ex down. I think that multiple twisted irl love triangles were part of it, but part of me just wants to sit down with her now we're older and have categorically forgiven each other for it all and ask just what the hell happened, if it truly was because of this dickhead guy I dated (who I should have called the police on because holy hell) or if there was something else real or imagined that caused it because she was my first love and in a twisted way even now I think if it was a more accepting time and we had gotten the help we both needed we could have ended up together.

[toftegaard]

How to use social media: It's not about you but about them.

Just so you know, this post was initially posted in 2013 on a different platform that doesn't exist today.

Almost everyone is on social media. And every company should be present here as well, right? But what exactly is there to gain from being present on social media platforms, and how are you supposed to act as a brand? The quick answer is this. No one wants to hear about you. What we all want is something that has value for us.

Traditional Marketing

You probably know the drill. If you want to market yourself, be it a company or a person applying for a job, the whole thing will evolve around you. You have to do everything to make yourself look good as possible. If you are a company, you'll need to have a communication strategy where you closely monitor your consumer's reactions and close any gap between their perception and how you, as a company, would like to be perceived. In order to monitor these reactions, you will do surveys, analyse sales numbers, conduct qualitative interviews and so forth. The problem is that it is challenging to figure out what exactly is working at what isn't. As the legendary Henry Ford once said, he knew half of every dollar he spent on advertising was wasted. He just didn't know which half.

Dave Kerpen writes about this in his book: likeable social media, where he compares the traditional marketing method with how a mom and her baby communicate. I can relate to this as I am a dad to three beautiful girls. I remember how it was before my kids had a language. Communication evolved around more simple methods, such as facial expressions and sounds. I can see myself holding my youngest daughter in my arms a couple of years ago, desperately trying to make her stop crying. I tried everything, from feeding her, carrying her around singing or, in other ways, trying to get her attention to something else. Finally, at some point, she would stop. My goal was reached, but I needed to find out if her need had been taken care of.

Social Media Marketing

Now let's move a couple of years forward to today's realities. My oldest daughter is just about to turn 12 years old. She has not had any difficulties with her verbal skills, and then she has this annoying ability to bring up things I thought we already had dealt with. This typically happens when I've tried to downplay the issues, telling her that she was overreacting. This might have worked when she was younger and I had this superior authority as a parent, but those days are gone. Nowadays, she will haunt me, telling me how unfair I am and how I totally don't understand her. Our issues are only solved once I realize that it doesn't matter what I think about her behaviour and start listening to her and trying to understand her point of view. We might disagree, but that isn't what is important. What matters is that she feels heard and understood. This is how social media works. Think of it the same way as being social in the real world.

So, if before you push that send button on Facebook, think about what type of content you are sending. If it is a message about you and your brand, then think about all those disturbing spam-like messages in your newsfeed daily. What value is your message giving your "likes" and their friends? What's in it for them? You have to think and act as a consumer, and this requires you to listen first. How else can you have a conversation with someone unless you first know what they care about, what they dream about, and what they like about your company?

Because it's never about you, it is about them.

[emptymanuscript]

I hope this isn’t too much of a threadjack but it interests me that so much of the new stuff are large scale ‘thou shalt not’s when the Bechdel Test was actually the opposite.

The Bechdel test was what she was looking for. And it was a ‘small’ requirement. She was asking for at least 1 detail in 1 scene which she was having trouble finding because it was so incredibly rare in spite of the fact that it is a constant in life.

I do wonder if it is weirdly part of the current rise in purity culture. That so much energy is spent by people trying to define ourselves by what we’re not, more than by what we are.

Where Bechdel made a minimum metric for seeing herself represented all these rules are essentially proclaiming a one way to be, which is a metric that is designed to fail. There simply isn’t one way to experience life or to represent it. And there simply isn’t one way to reflect a representation for your own benefit.

I know people who won’t read stories with particular traumatizing events because it reminds them of their trauma and they don’t feel they should have to be reminded. I also know people who purposely seek out those same types of stories because it reminds them of their same kind of trauma and that’s how they grapple with it to make it less traumatic.

I don’t feel that I should have the choice, let alone the right, to deny one or both of those groups the types of stories they want and/or need. Not as a writer, a reader, or a fellow human being. I do on the other hand feel it is very appropriate to communicate to people what kind of story I am pushing so they can make those sorts of choices for themselves. It’s not about bad or good stories for me, it’s about getting people the stories they want or need which will be different for different people.

Which also means to me that I shouldn’t be allowed, even if I could, to deny writers the breadth of what they can write. Because denying them the ability to write different ways destroys the supply. Effectively, if not directly, denying readers the choice of how they want to read. And that’s what I want.

I want people to have their own choice of what to read, when they want to read it. I want people to have their own choice of what they use a story for to make their lives better, even if that changes over time. I want it to be a real choice, not have it merely reflect my own opinions and point of view because I wouldn’t want the reverse. I don’t want anyone else to tell me what I can’t read and what I can’t think about it. Either by rule or by lack of content. I don’t think anyone should have the right to do it to me, so I don’t think I should have the right to do it to anyone else. And, at this point I don’t even see the benefit.

We’re in this amazing revolution of content where the barriers of what can be written are being stripped away to let everything flood in. You can find any kind of story now. More than you could possibly read. And the flood is rising. Why limit that? Why put up new barriers when the old ones just got broken?

I would much rather people work on guidance. You only want to read happy endings, with no cheating, between people of essentially identical age. Cool. You do you. The way to help that isn’t to socially outlaw divergent content. The way to help is to figure out how to tell people HOW to find that content.

How do we tag it? How do we advertise it? How do we get your attention if we’ve done it? How do we do the opposite so you won’t be disappointed? How do we tell you that you won’t like this story because of these contrary elements not because it’s bad, so we don’t get bad reviews? How do we get you to tell everyone else what you know, so friends who feel the same will pick up book A but not book B? How do we get you exactly what you want when we don’t have whole industries picking apart every piece of your personal data to chop us up into ever smaller categories so we can sell you the content that you will like?

That’s today’s problem. Not lack of content or bad content. The problem is picking what you want out of the flood we’re creating. Make those tick boxes. Make easy to use and access informational sites. Contribute to what’s already there. Improve what we have so you can make the perfect choice for yourself in the moment. We don’t need purity tests. We need a way to sort between us and you to get to an effectively bespoke world instead of a flooded one.

That’s a problem we haven’t solved yet and it will effectively solve the other problem as well, without taking choices away from anyone else.

Last night in a "socially aware writer" Facebook group I saw a "new Bechdel test" for queer characters that suggested a good queer story should not 1) end in tragedy, 2) involve cheating, and 3) involve an age gap. People were lauding this as good advice and tbh I am. So stupidly tired of shit like this. The only thing this kind of thinking has led to is causing harm for queer writers who write these sorts of topics. I don't think it does us any fucking good to say "you can't write about us unless you avoid these things", sorry.

Treat us like fucking people. We have tragic lives sometimes. We cheat on each other just like straight people. And for the love of the gods, no one can give me a straight answer on what the fuck an age gap is, let alone one of problematic nature.

I hate how the writing scene for queers has been warped. Really, really hate it.

[alwaysgold03]

Rainbow capitalism, the exploitation of gays in media, and All for the Game: An Essay

TW: talk of regular aftg tws

THIS WILL GET TO AFTG I PROMISE YOU JUST GOTTA READ THE BACKGROUND FIRST.

The other day I was watching a new video by one of my favourite YouTubers (@/aretheygay) called “the end of rainbow capitalism”, where he was explaining from a sociological and capitalistic standpoint why a lot of queer people feel disillusioned from the queer media we’re given… and it got me thinking.

While yes, there are more queer characters in media these days, and there are more queer centred stories being told, 8.5/10 times (random number I made up don’t ask for sources) these pieces of media portray a VERY specific type of queer person, something that can be easily squeezed into a box and sold at the highest price, because, of course, everything comes down to capitalism in our world.

So, these movie/tv producers (most of the time, but this can also be seen in books) want to make queer characters that are gay enough for the gays, but can also cater to their straight viewers. Why?? To Maximize Profit.

So, This YouTuber gives us an explanation as to why we feel disillusioned: because these pieces of media were not made for queer people, they were made for queer CONSUMERS. They were made for money and, most of the time, nothing else. (CW: This is not for all pieces of queer media, this is a generalization).

This means that a very large portion of queer media is based around a white, cis guy who goes through the throes of coming out and homophobia in their community (normally high school) but oh my gosh they don’t deserve it!!… and then it eventually ends with unanimous acceptance or death.

Therefore, even though we are *technically* getting the queer media we all so desire and crave as most lgbt+ people do (because let’s be real, everyone wants to see themselves represented in media to feel more accepted), we are also being told we can’t complain about what we are given. We hear “oh my god, the gays whine so much, we literally gave them what they want”. But really, we weren’t. Not at all.

We are given these tiny crumbs of representation that only represent a chosen few that are easy to advertise to the masses, and also perpetuate a queer stereotype in a cishet society. Selling a “homosexual box” all tied up with a nice bow when, really, you cannot possibly fit all queer people into one category. That’s why so many queer people do not see themselves in the characters on tv.

Now you may ask, what does this homosexual box include?

- extremely washed out queer characters (diluting them like gingerale when you have the flu, of all controversies and “bad” qualities. The gays can be gay but not if they have sex or commit crimes like the cishets!)

- Mostly white, cis characters played by white, cis, het actors

- One single narrative of the “queer experience” being homophobia and exclusion.

What does this mean? Well, it means that these producers in the media are making millions of dollars catering to consumers, and by doing so, trying their hardest to make the queer characters the most unproblematic, “good” people they can, pushing a new stereotype in media. The “gay hero”.

I kinda came up with this term on my own (once again pls don’t source me) but it’s something I’ve always had a problem with. It’s the YA novels and teen tv shows/movies that star a cis white gay guy that never does wrong and gets praise for coming out and “telling his truth” and then THE END! (ex. Love Simon, which isn’t technically bad,,,, but. You know…) and really, for most queer viewers, this story is overused and boring. We end up reading the same characters over and over, craving some sort of representation we can see ourselves in, but just receive the same person with a new name that we end up forgetting everything about and never want to read or watch again.

I’m not saying stories about cis, white, strictly gay guys shouldn’t be told, because of course they deserve a place in media too, but come on. We need more than this box. We deserve more.

Because of this, in a lot of queer books, tv shows and movies, the queer character never does anything wrong, and perpetuates the ideology that queer people are different, something OTHER than human. Because it’s just a fact that humans make mistakes and do bad things. That’s what makes us HUMAN. That’s what makes us interesting and gives us DEPTH.

So here is where I start to think to myself. I am constantly looking for queer media to consume, as a queer person does, but I am also highly critical of it, and will not hesitate to shit on a badly written lgbt piece of media (to my friends only, because I don’t believe in open hate that the creators could see when my opinion could be subjective).

Of course, as my main genre to consume, I want these books and movies to be good, but more often than not, I am disappointed and give the book to thrift stores without a second thought. These books most often portray characters that have no depth, no individuality, no tension, and honestly, overall, are simply boring! This is mostly because they never did anything WRONG. They weren’t, in any way, bad people. They weren’t realistic! They were blank slates.

And so, I look at the lgbt media I like the most! Aristotle and Dante, Cemetery Boys, Banana Fish, Song of Achilles, Red White and Royal Blue, Carry On, (Nico Di Angelo and Piper McLean specifically from Percy Jackson), One Last Stop, Radio Silence, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, But I’m a Cheerleader, Doukyusei, Tamen de Gushi. These portray characters with complex background stories and embedded personal and generational traumas that influence their actions, be it good or bad. Some do things that are morally wrong or grey, they do what they have to for their own wellbeing, they have motivations and goals that go beyond “oh gosh my whole life revolves around coming out”. Because that is just not accurate.

All of the characters we know and love as our favourite queer characters (for me at least) make mistakes. They do bad things.

This is where All for the game comes in, aka my all time favourite series and hyper-fixation. I’ve been obsessed for YEARS and was unable to understand why I loved it so much. It has its faults, but it has held me hostage for this long, without any sign I’ll be let go in the near or far future.

As I was watching this video on YouTube, I had a “holy shit” moment. Because even in all those queer pieces of media I mentioned, all the characters are considered the heroes by the end of the books, they end up being the “good guys” all along, even if they might not always be the greatest or most morally sound.

But what, you may ask, ISN’T like that???

ALL FOR THE GAME.

I read All for the game a while ago. I have analyzed so much of the series you would think I’d be bored by now, but for some odd reason, I never am.

All for the game is probably the only series I have ever consumed where every leading character (the foxes) is so morally fucked up that there are MANY instances throughout the series where I thought to myself, “damn, I really should not condone this!” And that makes it the most interesting cast of all time.

And yes, I do fault Nora for many things she has done. In all honesty, she was terrible at researching with accuracy for everything concerning the mafia, sports, mental illness, the use of medication, and basically all of the series’ main themes and subjects, BUT. That woman truly produced the most realistic set of character flaws ever in the history of anything I have ever read or watched. Every fox is completely different, completely their own, represents a different type of person, and interesting in their own ways. That, and Nora completely DE-STERILIZED the gays. She de-sterilized them so hard she basically dipped them in the Thames!

This, in my very uneducated opinion, is why we all love all for the game with such an intense ferocity.

Nora Sakavic created characters with so much depth, that were so fucking realistic, that we can see them as real people, with real problems and traumas, with realistic reactions to those traumas. Truly, I have not met a queer or mentally ill person who hasn’t related to at LEAST one of the foxes.

Because, to reiterate, this series isn’t a series where the queer characters “come out” and it’s a massive plot point and they are praised for it. It’s a series with its own plot with queer characters existing within it. They are queer characters being queer and living their (dramatic) lives. Queers in the wild! That in itself is realistic representation. This, along with the fact that the queer characters in the series aren’t, in any definition, good people. They have killed people for fucks sake, and otherwise done, morally, VERY BAD THINGS. But that’s what makes them so interesting! That’s why we can analyze them over and over and find new things to delve into constantly.

Nora gave us exceptionally interesting characters, and queer characters on top of that! Even the characters that never became canon (cough Renison the best wlw couple to exist cough), most everyone in the fandom agrees that they are together! It is communal knowledge that that series is full of traumatized queer characters because of how they were written with in between the lines context, canon or not. And, even though this is how we interpret the media, it is not a “gay story”. It’s a thriller, a sports novel, a mystery in some ways, and, of course, a romance. This is where the difference between “a gay story” and “a story with queer characters” comes into play.

And, yes, maybe the series is horribly unrealistic, and over the top, and dramatic, and badly researched, but the queer representation is REAL. It showcases everything, canon or not (it’s canon to us Nora, piss off)!

We have Neil, the main character, who is canonically Demisexual, and could easily be interpreted as a trans guy due to his backstory. We have Andrew, who is gay, with a very realistic backstory of sexual assault from men in foster care. We have Renee, a born again Christian who CLEARLY a lesbian (rainbow hair? Come on.), Allison the comp-het bisexual, Matt and Dan the poc bisexual power couple, Nicky the conversion therapy survivor gay poc who found a better life in a different country with a found family (we support fanon Nicky not Nora’s Nicky where she pushed obvious stereotypes onto him), and Kevin Gay- I MEAN DAY- who is so obviously bisexual that he publicly drools over Jeremy and then tells Neil that it’s easier to be straight. How would you know Mr Day??

And these are just. Facts in the fandom. And it’s all normal. There is no “holy shit, you’re gay?” *homophobia arc* moment when Andrew and Neil are sort of confirmed to be together. There is really no coming out moment for ANYONE, because it doesn’t matter! They just are!

And they aren’t made out to be these heroes who can’t do wrong! Because they are all royally messed up individuals who have made mistakes and went through shit and came out alive!

MORAL OF THE ESSAY: queer people can be morally skewed and still deserve love! Bad people can be bad and also be gay and still get the happy ending! YOU CAN BE A “BAD PERSON” AND STILL MAKE/FIND A FAMILY WHO LOVES YOU. YOU CAN GET A HAPPY ENDING DESPITE YOUR WRONG DOINGS OR TRAUMAS!!!!!

(I am not equating having trauma to being a bad person btw, I’m just saying that separately, most of the foxes have trauma, but they have also done bad things, and either way, with both, either or none, they deserve love.)

That, I think, is the key to why I love All for the game so much, as someone who is severely mentally ill and severely queer. We were given a story where the main characters are queer and mentally ill and traumatized and do bad things, but still get a good ending. We’re shown that what you do in your past, or what happened to you in your past, doesn’t define you. We’re shown REALISTIC, MESSY, IMMORAL QUEERS THAT DON’T FIT THE RAINBOW CAPITALIST BOX. We are given something we can see ourselves in. No matter her wrongdoings, I will always love Nora for that.

Anyways. I love all for the game. I think I always will. I hope you guys agree :)

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky

[2kverrr]

ᒪIᐯEᔕ ᗪEᑭEᑎᗪEᗪ Oᑎ IT

Alex Chen x GN!Reader

Summary: "A gn!reader x Alex Chen from lis: true colours where reader is new to Haven and they know Alex because they used to date (let's just say she's a bit older since shes, like 16 or something in the game) but they broke up because Alex had abandonment issues (you can add anything else if you like) so when reader shows up, Alex is a bit distand and cold shouldered because shes falling in love with them again and is super scared to admit it even though reader never stopped loving her? Happy ending and all pretty please with a cherry on top?"

Warnings: Swearing, abandonment issues.

Someone told me that the best way to start life is by moving on and away. Make things happen for yourself, get out and seize every opportunity that crosses your path. Live life to the fullest and don't let anything hold you back. Though I may not remember who, it didn't stop me from following their words.

I'd been living in Portland for the past two years, and those two years were probably the shittiest of my life. Living on minimum wage in some good-for-nothing bar in the cheapest flat possible with a roommate I never see and their cat, still trying to recover from a breakup from like a year ago.

I had given up on everything and everyone. I was going through the motions, just existing.

One day, I was at the bar, nursing a beer and scrolling through my phone when I saw an advertisement for a job in a small town over in Colorado. I continued to scan over every minute detail, each word tempting me more and more. It gave me everything I lacked, a stable home and job, a community, and just peace within myself. I hesitated for a moment, but then I decided to go for it, sending an email to the ad's address.

It wasn't exactly how I'd planned on spending my shift, but for some reason, I don't feel a single ounce of remorse. So as soon as I got home I began packing.

It felt all too familiar, shoving all your stuff in bags knowing you'll be leaving everything behind. All too familiar.

I'd been placed in this situation a year ago, I was with someone, I was in love, but it doesn't matter anymore. Well, it shouldn't matter, even thought it's the only thing I remember before this version of my life. I chose to be with her, I gave everything for her, I was doing it for Alex and I, but clearly she couldn't do the same. She destroyed every ounce of my happiness with a few of her words, it was almost like she knew exactly how to take apart all of my feelings.

But this time, I knew that I was doing it for me.

After numerous taxis I could barely afford and several mental breakdowns, I arrived in Colorado two weeks later and despite the nerves, at first glance, it was all worth it. Haven was adorable, the people looked friendly, and the job position was perfect. It was everything I'd ever wanted and more.

That was all until 2 hours post arrival. Where I'm at now. Occasionally glancing through a record shop window, in fear I'd seen someone I'd been trying to escape. Brushing it off as if it were just my mind playing tricks on me.

Considering it was the first day, I settled in nicely, a cutesy little flat above one of the shops littered around the town. It already felt like home, but as always, something had to go wrong.

I slept like a baby knowing I had no more major responsibilities to take care of, I can simply just live my life.

I exit the building the morning after to take a walk around Haven, and familiarise myself with my new home. I stroll past the small ice cream shop, the couple (who I guess is the owners) outside in a heated discussion. Then passing by a post office, I look ahead, and finally, something intrigues me.

'Rocky Mountain Record Traders', sounds cool, might go have a look inside.

I wander over to the door, letting my hand push it open. I'm greeted by a cheerful auburn girl, rocking a navy blue beanie, "Welcome!"

"Hey," I smile back out of politeness.

"Are you new here? I don't think I've seen you around?" She questions, leaning back on the counter.

"Yeah, got here yesterday from Portland," I answer, scratching the back of my neck.

"Oh, cool! My friend in the back is from Portland, what's your name?" The auburn beams, waiting for my response so she can call her friend.

"Y/n. Y/n L/n."

There she is, she walks in, taking one glance at me then not bothering to spare another in my direction. It feels like my heart's stopped as if I'm witnessing a scene from a movie and not reality. I can't move, I can't do anything as she stands in front of me, my heart shattering into a million pieces all over again.

"Have I reunited something special or are you total strangers?" Steph jokes in an attempt to fill the silence.

"Total strangers." The black-haired girl huffs before turning around and walking out the door.

What is her fucking problem? Can't we at least be civil, I didn't end us, she did. I should be the one storming out the door, the fucking nerve of her. She doesn't get to walk out on me. Not again. "Hey, where are you going?" Steph asks, not receiving an answer from the girl.

Steph glances at me with raised eyebrows, unknowing of what had just happened. I can tell she's decided not to dwell on it, simply just giving me a nod before letting me leave.

Later that night I sat in my room, wondering how the only good thing in my life has been ruined by the only good thing in another life. How did we end up in the same place again? Part of me wants to say fate, but it's immediately terminated as soon as it was brought to mind. Alex doesn't get to be angry, she left me. No goodbye. No explanation. Nothing.

I go to sleep with her on my mind, nothing has changed.

I wake up in the morning and do as I usually would, shower, brush my hair and teeth, etcetera. It soon gets to 1:30, and I begin to make my way over to my new job, a bartender at some bar called the Black Lantern, I talk to some guy called Jed who runs the place and we discuss my schedule and wages, nothing too exciting, then I finally get to work.

I scan the room, noting the very... unique style, unable to tell if it's pirate-esque or cowboy-esque. I continue to think about that for another half hour until I notice somebody to my side.

I take my eyes off the beer I had begun to pour to find out who had just joined me behind the bar. For it only to be, the one, the only, Alex Chen. What a shocker. The one thing (person) that I'd hoped to avoid at all costs just happens to work where I work.

The shift goes on and the bar gets busier and busier as more people flow into the building. I'm surprised we haven't run out of Lager yet, got me pouring three at a time. Alex hadn't uttered a word to me, only bringing back empty glasses and occasionally pulling the odd few drinks. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not, so I decided to just let it go.

I watch her put on her jacket and make her way to the door, "Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" I shout over the loud chatter of prominently old men.

"Shift's over."

"It's jammed in here, can't you stay a little while longer?" I request, sounding too needy and desperate for my own liking.

Alex rolls her eyes in response and walks annoyedly back over to the bar, this time she'd every so often bear to even speak a couple of words to me, whether it's "Pass those." or "Hurry it up." It's still progress, not like I needed it nor wanted it.

A few hours later and it's getting close to close, Jed lets us know that we're all going home for the night. As we're saying our goodbyes, Alex finally breaks the silence.

"So, you work here now?" She asks eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Yes, I started today," I answer, not really knowing what else to say.

"Why are you here?" She continues, her voice laced with a tone I couldn't quite distinguish.

"My own reasons."

"Just tell me did you know I was here?" She bites, her voice laced with poison as she spat it right into my face.

"God! Everything is not about you, if anything I came here to get over you." I snap back, her face dropping as soon as I responded.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her that, she probably still thinks I have feelings for her, which I do not. I do not. But what if she still has feelings for me? Oh God Y/n, get your mind out of the gutter.

She just looks at me for a moment, seeming to contemplate what to say next. In the end, she simply turns on her heel but before she could walk away I take hold on to her wrist. She doesn't look shocked, she actually looked like she knew I was going to do it. And that fucking annoys me.

"So?" I let go of her wrist, crossing my arms.

"So what?"

"Don't play dumb, Chen. No explanation? You left me, no reason as to why." My voice on the verge of breaking due to the tears I try to hold back.

"It's not that simple, Y/n."

"Oh? So how simple is it then, Alex? I did nothing to you, I loved to until my heart could take it no longer, and even then I continued. Was it one-sided? Did you get bored? Please, just give me a clue." I utter, a waterfall of tears threatening to pour from my eyes.

"You were going to leave me, Y/n! So, I had to leave you before you would do it to me!" She admits, taking me back quite a bit, silencing any words that were ready to pass over my lips. She plays with her sleeves, looking as though she regrets what she'd just confessed. The sight brought a hint of sadness to me, she looks so vulnerable and fragile.

"I would've never fucking left you, Alex. What could've possibly made you think that?"

"I could feel it, I had my suspicions and I was scared, so I did it before I got hurt. I won't have another person leave me. I knew I'd never stop loving you, so I left while uncertain."

Deep down I know that I too would never stop loving her, and how true that is right at this moment.

"Did you ever stop?" I ask, my voice shaky and broken.

"No."

The silence fell upon us again, this time it was heavier, more weighted. It felt like the air had been cut off and we were both struggling to breathe.

"Me neither." I finally whisper, my voice trembling.

And with that, we hugged each other tightly, letting our tears soak into each other's clothes. We held on to each other as if our lives depended on it because, in a way, they did.

[wincore]

field day | jung sungchan

pairing: sungchan x fem!reader

synopsis: when you, as cheer captain, are best friends with the pride and joy of the soccer team, rumors are bound to fly around.

genre: high school au, soccer au, bff2l, fluff

words: 7.5k

warnings: language, jung “the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math” sungchan

request: sungchan + ball + “ everyone is looking at us. is that a good or a bad thing? ” (from the first option) ^__^

song recs: after school - weeekly / pleaser - wallows / some - bol4 / sweet talk - saint motel / love so sweet - cherry bullet

a/n: i tried recalling some hs memories for this and im hoping i wasnt the only one that went through the “shipped with a random dude” ordeal LOL. i haven’t written shorter fics in a while so i’m glad i got to. tq for requesting, lovepie <33

In high school, peer pressure tends to come in different forms. For you, it’s taken the shape of this.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” 

You look around your classmates, scanning each and every face chanting with glee like you’re a star player scoring the winning point. The tall figure shifts beside you, glancing at you like a blinking idiot. You’re not even on the losing team but it feels just as frustrating.

You glare at the boy beside you. The trouble is Jung Sungchan. The trouble has always been Jung Sungchan. 

“Come on!” Chenle calls with a teasing grin from the buzzing crowd. The little shit. It’s getting hotter with each minute you spend by the green soccer field and its dusty chalked lines, just at the tip of the bleachers. You didn’t even get enough time to breathe before you were surrounded, the soccer team pushing a stumbling Sungchan onto you. It’s too sunny for this today.

“The star soccer player gets a kiss from the lead cheerleader after a winning game! That’s the rule.” Chenle announces.

Sungchan looks at you and you turn to him, the both of you looking at each other like fish out of water. Even though you’ve clarified at least a hundred times that you’re just friends, your peers don’t seem to be satisfied. (“Famous last words,” they say.)

“No,” you say, firmly. 

“No,” Sungchan agrees, nodding his head wisely.

“Don’t copy me,” you say, smacking his chest, and a quiet ‘oof’ escapes his mouth.

The fact that you’ve been best friends since Sungchan offered you a light green crayon in elementary school just fuels the idea that you have to date. There’s this difference between elementary school kids teasing and high school kids teasing—it was so much easier back when boys were afraid of cooties from girls. It was innocent too. Now, it’s more of nudges and sly grins, teasing with unnecessary innuendo. (What else do you expect from teenagers experiencing puberty?) It doesn’t stop you from being best friends though. Sungchan still visits on Fridays to get on your mom’s nerves and help you with homework (or try to). You still have all the little trinkets he’s gifted you over the years and the lock to his phone is still your birthday. You’re best friends and strictly that. 

When you got into the same middle school though is when it started going downhill. Holding his hand was awkward, touching him in any way was awkward and god forbid you compliment him on something. The kids around you would run across the halls saying “(name) likes Sungchan!” or the other way around sometimes. Heathens, the lot of them. But at the very least, he wasn’t too fazed and you wonder how he could be that even-tempered. If it was just you feeling that way, then maybe you did like him more than he did you. 

You shake it off. 

Sungchan’s much more grown now and at least a foot taller since his awkward adolescent years; he looks handsomer too but you wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud. After all, it’s only going to spark another debate on the anonymous school forum. (“(name) finds Jung Sungchan attractive, they’re totally dating.” “I knew it. A boy and a girl can’t be friends, especially if they’re both good looking.”) If you’re being honest, you hate the rumours so much—it’s one of the reasons, apart from puberty, stopping you from being as close as before. However, you do understand that this is how the passage of time works. You’re not going to be spending all of your time with each other, yes, but you still regard him as important. Your life is too busy now, with exams and practice—and you’d think a busy bee would get some honey as reward.

Sungchan’s curls stick to his forehead, unruly after he wiped at them with a towel. The sunlight plays with his eyes when he looks at you intently and you shrug. The smell of sweat is starting to make you nauseous. You remember that you too need to take a shower.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you mumble.

“Not today?” He asks.

You shake your head. “The girls have a plan.”

It’s not just the sweat. Or the crowds. You don’t like being here at all. There’s one more problem with this place.

You hate soccer. 

And by hate, you mean you despise it. Like you’ll throw up at the sight of it. What’s so riveting about a bunch of smelly, sweaty guys excited about chasing a patterned ball? You’ve tried to understand it but every time your dad explains the rules, you find yourself zoning out of whatever alien language he speaks. 

Sungchan has been the closest to getting you to understand the game and even then, you refused to learn. It’s not like you’re society’s definition of girly—but you’re not a tomboy either. The school has granted you the “ice queen with a warm interior” stereotype so you’ll just go with that. To be honest, you’re just a little more awkward at open affection than your friends. (And Sungchan has the “friendly beagle” stereotype which you’ll agree is partly true. He’s more of a retriever though, with that size.) It’s just funny how you can never seem to know who you are but other people see so clearly.

You hurry up to the locker rooms and hope for a better evening than this afternoon.

-

The sky burns blue and you wipe the sweat off your brow once you step out of the changing room. Cooling off from your shower has gone to waste. Adjusting your school skirt, you take your usual strides to the school gates. 

Ryujin seems to be showing Yuna a very flamboyant dance move while the latter hypes her up. Ryujin is in her gym uniform because she has no care for her reputation apparently, but she makes it work. Yuna’s about to show her own move when she notices you and waves at you vigorously enough to make you jog towards her and stop embarrassing herself in front of the after school crowd. But then again, she’s too cute for that.

“We got bored waiting for you,” Yuna explains, voice hoarse from her cold. Poor thing wasn’t let into performing because of it. “Do you wanna see our cool new move? Ryujin came up with it!”

Ryujin rolls her eyes. “You’re trying to advertise me to (name) so she can recruit me into cheerleading, aren’t you?”

You smile and cross your arms, facing Yuna who’s been caught mid-act. She smiles sheepishly and pats your shoulder like she just said a funny joke.

“Actually…” You begin and Ryujin holds up her arms in a cross.

“No. Never. I’m already part of the hip-hop dance club.”

“I was going to say that I’ll join you instead.”

Yuna gasps in betrayal, big eyes widening, and Ryujin grins before sticking her tongue out and potentially ruining her image with that expression. She doesn’t care, however.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to get to college and join a dance club.” Ryujin looks at the two of you excitedly. “I keep getting snaps from Yeji and feel so jealous.”

Yuna pouts. “Don’t be so happy about leaving me.”

“Aw, is the baby afraid of not getting any more sisterly doting?” Ryujin teases and you laugh at the disgruntled expression on Yuna’s face. 

“Don’t worry,” Ryujin continues with a sly grin. “Taehyun’s here to keep you company for another year.”

Yuna turns red in the face, a high pitched complaint emitting from her throat. “I told you to keep quiet about that!”

“Oh, what’s this?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “We’re starting boy talk early today.”

Yuna huffs. “At least, mine’s just a crush. I don’t know what relationship status: complicated you have going on with Mr. Soccer Captain.”

You flush hotly. “There’s no relationship status to be complicated about! Seriously, why does everyone think we’re a thing?”

“You’re cheer captain and he’s soccer captain,” Ryujin answers logically. “Plus, you’re best friends.”

“You have a lot of sexual tension,” Yuna answers honestly.

You make a face, slipping your arms into theirs and pulling them along the sidewalk. You better get something to drink before the sky starts to turn purple from pink tinged blue. 

“Ooh, another desperate attempt from (name) to not get teased,” Ryujin leans back to whisper to Yuna.

You stop walking. “Wait. Where are we going?”

Yuna shakes her head. “I’ll lead the way.”

Skipping over the concrete sidewalk, you laugh at your friends and their stories (read: Ryujin gushing over Yeji’s college dance club and Yuna’s newfound crush on Taehyun). The blue sky has tinged orange by now but it’s the sort of colour that sits in between more significant timeframes, like night and evening. Passing by a city square, you eye the people with wonder. A girl in a pink skirt skateboards smoothly over the concrete, her boyfriend filming her with a loving smile. 

“We’re here!” Yuna announces.

You look around the large open plaza, with people of all ages and in different attires trying out skateboarding and rollerblading over the grey concrete. It’s been getting popular lately, with idol pop stars taking to it too but you never knew there was this big a community. There seems to be a few stalls renting out skateboards too. The wind caresses your hair, evening cool settling in nicely on your skin. The sky is purple but it’s lit up with the city buildings and street lamps flickering on. It’s not a bad day at all.

Someone catches your attention. A boy that sticks out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes. 

“Sungchan?!” 

Your eyes somehow always settle on his figure, tall and standing out in the crowd of teenagers. He clutches his blue bag, the one he’s had since third grade, close to his chest and looks more like a tourist in this place than a frequent visitor. He’s not the only one in school uniform now that you’re here.

“(name)!” 

You hate how you love the way his face lights up when he sees you. You’re not actually into him. It’s your friends brainwashing you.

“I was going to invite you,” Sungchan says, a sorry smile on his face. 

Ryujin and Yuna frown at each other but you can’t exactly ask the reason for it.

“Isn’t it great we had the same plans?” he beams at the three of you.

Yuna suppresses a smile and you wonder why. It’s not like your friends would know he’d be here—you’d know first as best friend.

"How did you guys come across this place?" He asks, eyes round with curiosity. 

"Somi's Tiktok," Yuna answers, smiling. "We thought she works here but if she really was, guys would be swarming this place."

Ryujin raises her eyebrows. "Speaking of which, I can clearly see why there are so many girls here."

Sungchan beams, turning to you for affirmation and when you don't give him any, he drops his grin to a more polite smile.

“I don’t work at the stalls though,” he answers. “I’ve just been here a few times.”

“You’re trying to learn, aren’t you?” Ryujin asks, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. However, you furrow your eyebrows at her. How does she know? Eyes widening, you realize it must be the school forum. You remember reading a post about a student wanting to learn skateboarding and the wording felt familiar but you didn’t think much. How they figured it out, you will never know.

“Oh! Oh, I think my nose is bleeding. Oh god.” Yuna sniffs vehemently, her finger at her nose. “I think I’m going to need Ryujin to get me to a clinic.” 

Linking her arm through Ryujin’s, Yuna makes an apologetic expression and runs off into a particularly crowded area.

You blink. The realization dawns. 

"They just left me," you tell him, exasperated. "How could they just leave me?"

He shrugs. "My team left me at a rival school's field once."

Great. Your last outing before midterms and your friends have abandoned you. If this is the case, you wonder why they complain about you spending so much time with Sungchan and allegedly ignoring them.

You regain a sense of your surroundings and turn to him. "Wait. They really left you?"

He nods diligently, eyes trained upwards as he tries to recall the memory. "I told you, didn’t I? On the plus side though, I made friends with the opposite team."

"That's so… cute."

Your cheeks heat up at saying it out loud. If Sungchan is affected by it in any way, he doesn't show it. Instead, he has his usual smile on. 

“Do you wanna try?” he asks. “Skateboarding. Or rollerblading but I personally don’t recommend that.”

He curls his lips, shaking his head slightly. You laugh. Of course this beanpole has trouble balancing on skates.

"I- I figured you'd be good at skateboarding. Since, you know, you're so balanced and all."

You raise an eyebrow. "You wanna add skateboarding to your resume or something?"

"Yeah, that and the ability to imitate dog sounds. Wanna see?"

"No, thanks. I’ll pray this weekend to cure your furry behaviour."

Before he can respond, you’re interrupted by a whirlwind of colours and excited calls. A few girls run up to the two of you, younger and probably in middle school, flocking to Sungchan like bees to honey. Never in your life have you felt so ignored as in this singular moment.

You blink, turning to Sungchan who looks like a rather helpless, flustered eye of the hurricane. The winds don't seem to be stopping any time soon.

You clear your throat trying to get their attention. 

"Wow, you brought your girlfriend?" One of the girls exclaims, sounding disappointed.

The other girls make similar whines of disappointment and you have half the heart to whack them over the head and tell them to focus on their academics instead of boys. 

"You're so lucky to have him as your boyfriend," a girl comments, round eyes brimming with jealousy. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you declare sharply.

Sungchan looks at you with his doe eyes, blinking cartoonishly. You nudge him with your elbow.

“Yeah!” He agrees, with far too much gusto to be believable. “I’m not (name)’s boyfriend. I have no idea why everyone keeps saying that.”

“Let’s go, babe,” you say, resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at the girls. They’re younger than you and you have high school dignity, you remind yourself.

Slipping your hand into his, you take a few long strides away from them before you realize what you said.

“I- I did- I didn’t mean to call you babe,” you sputter, pulling your hand from his to look at him with wide eyes. 

“It’s okay though?”

Sungchan raises an eyebrow and slips his hand back into yours, smiling. 

“I don’t mind the rumours, you know?” He says honestly but his smile feels all too teasing. “Maybe we should go out for real.”

You huff, separating yourself from him again. “Maybe you just love attention. Disgusting.”

You point an accusatory finger at him and he bites at it playfully.

“While you're here, wanna see a cool trick I learned?" He straightens only having to tilt his head to look at you.

"If it's you falling on your face, then yes."

"I mean, hey, I could totally do that. Done that several times actually."

You smile despite trying your hardest not to. You like this about him—that he’s easygoing enough to make you look at life less seriously. If it’s with him, you could quit everything that makes you unhappy and start everything you love. 

“So where is your skateboard?” you ask, walking side by side with him, who has finally learned to match your pace.

“It’s with one of my friends,” he answers, and points to a tall girl with long brown hair, wearing a pair of tomboyish shorts and T-shirt. Another girl with short hair and a bucket hat accompanies her, wearing a long hoodie and shorts, but she leaves before you reach them. They must be from a different school because you’ve never seen them before. The first thing that pops into your head is that they’d be good replacements for your cheerleading position if you were ever to leave. You shake your head. Now is not the time.

“That’s Jimin!” he introduces, and you wonder how he’s this way—how he makes friends so easily.

Jimin waves at Sungchan and then proceeds to ask if you’re his girlfriend with a big smile, like a script being followed everywhere you go.

She seems a little disappointed at the answer. “Well, I was going to suggest one of the couples skateboards.”

You flash her an awkward smile. 

“But those are pretty difficult! I’ve been here for a month and my idea of skateboarding is still sitting on it while Soeun pushes me around. That’s my friend, by the way.”

“Ah.” You nod. “This is my first time skateboarding, actually. The only ‘sport’ I’ve ever done is cheerleading.”

Jimin furrows her eyebrows before her eyes widen. “Wait a minute. You’re the cheerleader best friend that Sungchan wouldn’t shut up about!”

Sungchan flusters, in the subtle way he usually does, and waves his hands robotically trying to explain. “I was just saying- that- that you’d be good at skateboarding. Because of the cheerleading.”

A boxy grin accompanies his explanation. 

“Right.” Jimin covers her face and sends an obvious wink your way. “Anyway, you can have my skateboard for the day.”

She hands over a smooth black skateboard with white wheels, but on closer inspection you find that they’re light-up wheels instead. It’s oddly fitting for someone like Jimin even if you’ve known her the entirety of ten minutes. Sungchan is good at finding friends, rather. Soon enough, she runs off after making Sungchan promise he’ll deliver the skateboard home.

The trick Sungchan wanted to show you was a failed kickflip. At the very least, it made you laugh so hard you almost spit out the strawberry milk he’d bought you. Sipping his own banana milk, he sulked for a moment or two, telling you to try it out and see how difficult it is.

On the contrary, Sungchan was right. You are good at balancing on skateboards. But that’s where it ends. You don’t think you’ll be naturally good at kickflips, though being able to glide through the plaza while Sungchan runs after you with the drinks puts a big smile on your face. It’s the most fun you’ve had in a while.  

Accompanied by Sungchan’s panicked “oh no”s and “oh we messed up”s, the two of you try the couple skateboarding move too; no one’s watching you here. It’s fun to see him stress over a skateboard because frankly, you’ve never met anyone as easy-going as Sungchan. (“I’ll figure it out along the way,” he says when you ask if he’s studying for finals, and proceeds to get a decent enough score). Suddenly the wandering gap is closed again. You’re not going to worry about stupid rumours from now on. 

But for some reason, ‘you like him as a friend’ doesn’t sound right either. Despite having said it so many times, you might not believe in it. You shake off the thought. This evening, at least, you’re going to enjoy with Sungchan without thinking of teenage drama and hormones. 

"You still don't think you and Sungchan make the perfect pair?" Yuna pouts. 

You narrow your eyes. "I don't take opinions from traitors."

Chaeryoung leans back on her chair, and whispers to you asking if you’re okay. At least someone is concerned about you.

“It hurts to be left by my own friends but—”

“No, I meant, are you okay? Why aren’t you dating Sungchan already? You’re so cute together! And you’re best friends—Netflix writers literally daydream of this.”

You groan, throwing up your hands in defeat.

“And,” Yuna adds, knocking her chair closer. “Who’s really the traitor here? Us who ditched you with the love of your life—or you, who runs off every time she gets a call from her boyfriend?”

“Sungchan is not my boyfriend.” You cross your arms.

“She even shares her lunch with him more,” Ryujin complains from the side. “And they’re not even in the same class. Unlike me, by the way. Class 1 Shin Ryujin. Same class as you, (name).”

You slump, resting your forehead against the desk. At this point, you wish the teacher would walk in and start the class already. Unfortunately, lunch break isn’t over for another ten minutes and lady luck clearly isn’t smiling upon you. 

“Speak of the devil!” Ryujin announces monotonously, leaning against her desk.

Sungchan and a few of his friends from the soccer team wave at you and the girls from the classroom door. Noticing Taehyun, Yuna quickly fixes her hair and you would tease her if Sungchan hadn’t casually strolled up to your desk and sat down on the chair in front of you. Long legs barely contained in the space, he adjusts himself by resting his arm on the headrest and his chin upon it. It’s all normal. However, when he leans down to match your eye level, you hear the sudden pit-a-pat of your pulse in your ear. At this proximity, you can even see the mole on his lip that he’s pointed out before. The sunlight from the open windows is pulling golden strings over his eyelashes and his lips aren’t dry as a desert like you expected. You know he uses the watermelon flavoured lip balm. 

“Too close,” you croak. Embarrassed at your own voice, you rise sharply and glare at him.

“Is your heart fluttering?” Sungchan asks, smiling as he looks up at you.

You roll your eyes. 

You can hear Yuna’s giggling and before you can shoot her a glare, Sungchan calls. 

"Do you have any bandaids?" 

He points to a rough scratch at the base of his palm, fingers slender and less calloused than what you'd pictured. Then again, soccer players don't use their hands much, do they?

You blink. "You came all the way here for bandaids?"

"Well… I remembered you keep band-aids in your phone case. And the nurse hates me."

You giggle.

Yujin mouths from behind Sungchan, “He just wanted to see her.” 

You would feel flattered if you didn't know these people and their shenanigans. They'd do anything for some drama (and to get two innocent people into the dating trap).

“Why would I waste my cute band aids on you?” you mutter under your breath. “They’re limited edition, you know?”

No way are you sticking Ice Bear on your urban hazard of a best friend. A tall, cute, surprisingly polite hazard but he still annoys you nonetheless.

However, Sungchan's pleading smile has grown on you.

You reluctantly take the band-aid out of your clear phone case, the pink panda doll attached to it swaying with the movement. Proceeding, you take Sungchan's hand and lay it on your desk. With careful focus, you place the band-aid, admiring the size difference of your hands before snapping to reality.

Enough with the pink cloud of thoughts, you scold yourself.

When you look up, the proximity makes your heart skip a beat despite the logical part of you saying you shouldn't. Your faces are too close and this time, you don't even have the energy to croak it out.

"Thanks, (name)," Sungchan smiles at you. 

Right then, the sound of a chair sliding harshly against the floor makes the two of you jolt away from each other. All of your friends and his friends seem to be sporting Cheshire cat grins and you don't like it one bit. You don't like not being in on the gag.

"Anybody up for gaming after this? My treat." Chenle looks around. “Sungchan is banned from the arcade soccer game though.”

"'Ey," Sungchan complains.

"Hey, Jisung and Ryujin are banned from DDR too but that's because they almost broke the handles off last time."

The memory makes you smile. Sungchan was there too, and you don’t know why you’re only just recalling all the memories with him in it, carefully and in detail. Every one of them seems to have been amplified, the little interactions suddenly coming to mind. 

“(name)? You’re coming?”

You take one look at Sungchan and give up. Even if this is another childish ploy by your peers, you don't mind spending some more time at the arcade with infuriatingly addictive games. A tiny part of you is even willing to go along with them and see if it turns out the way they want it to.

“I’ll go,” you mumble, and the rest of the group cheers. 

“But I have cleaning duty today.”

The group groans. 

“Just get someone else to do it. Like a junior.”

“Isn’t that bullying?” You ask, frowning.

“Ask nicely. Anyone would be willing to do your bidding, (name).”

“Chenle, will you do it?” You give him a sickly sweet smile. “You’re class president after all.”

Chenle wrinkles his nose. “You’re getting stupider every day, (name).”

You sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask one of Yuna’s classmates then.”

“By the way,” Chenle announces. “Only twelfth graders are invited—”

A bunch of groans interrupt him. 

“Quit whining.” He crosses his arms, glaring at them. “What do you even have to worry about? We’re preparing for the exam of our lives. Oh, and Jisung is an exception.”

“We’re only two years apart,” Yuna mutters under her breath.

“Oh, and from class 5, only Sungchan is invited.”

Another round of complaints pass and Chenle breaks into laughter. “Just kidding.”

Your friends are and will always be an odd bunch. Sungchan has previously proved to be the weirdest (several times) and it makes him the most lovable too. But then again, you don’t have free space in your timetable to put in teenage crushes, much less falling for your best friend. What you do have time for this afternoon, however, is relaxing at the arcade. 

-

“Let’s go! I am so good at this. Think I’d impress your Steve Curry?” Ryujun gloats, after having scored three hoops in a row at the arcade basketball game.

“It’s Stephen Curry,” Chenle corrects. “And no, let’s focus here. Our goals are—”

He points to the two figures by the DDR machine, looking like a real couple. He’s been acting as damage control for the rumours and making sure you don’t drift apart because of it. They really don’t make guys like him anymore, Chenle sighs. He should get a friendship award or something.

“—those two.”

Really, Sungchan better be thanking him by the end of this. He’s never met anyone quite like Jung Sungchan, especially because Chenle cannot picture himself liking the same person since elementary school.

“Man, now I wish I had a girlfriend,” Chenle mutters.

Ryujin snorts. “Who’s going to date you?”

“You don’t have a boyfriend either,” Chenle reminds and gets a basketball to the shoulder.

“Why are you playing that when you don’t even know how to use it?” Your voice rings through to them.

“I said I’ll figure it out!” Sungchan reasons.

Chenle and Ryujin stare at the two of you blankly, as you bicker over a claw machine game and they share a look.

“Do they need our help?” Ryujin whispers.

Chenle shakes his head. “I think they’ll figure it out from here.”

Soon enough, you were laughing at Sungchan’s failed attempts and trying to outplay him. Your friends have already given you the shove. Chenle and Ryujin share a high five and that’s where the new story begins.

You finally know the thrill of a teenage crush. It makes you so damn infuriated that it had to be Jung Sungchan. 

Now every time he waves at you from the field or hands you a bottle of strawberry milk or explains the calc notes you missed or does the bare minimum, you need to deal with the quickening of your pulse and a few butterflies loose from their cage in your stomach. It doesn’t help that you’re almost always together.

The two of you currently sit by the school field, Sungchan tying his shoelaces while you cool off with the water bottle he offered you. Practice ended a while ago for you and the girls have receded into the air conditioned indoor gym. The indoor gym is apparently occupied by the gymnast club and you couldn’t be more disappointed that you didn’t join them instead. 

If anything, however, you’d rather leave this whole thing and focus on your academics. Hobbies shouldn’t be draining you—they should feel like skateboarding on a lilac evening with the wind in your hair.

With a friend you like very, very much.

“Sungchan,” you call quietly. 

“Hm?” 

When he looks up, you can’t hold in the urge to fix the hair out of his eyes. You’ve never been very physically affectionate so it might have come off strange. Sungchan looks at you quietly, stars in his eyes and you clear your throat.

“How long have you been playing soccer? It was before we met, right?”

He hums, eyes traveling up and then back to you when he remembers. “Since I was six. You were there at my first soccer match actually.”

“I was? Oh my god, was it the one you lost horribly and the whole team started crying?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

You giggle. “Six year old you would be so in awe now.”

Sungchan beams at that. 

“Who knows?” he smiles, looking into your eyes with firm determination. “Maybe I’ll be the next Son Heungmin.”

“Even I know who that is so… no.”

Sungchan pouts and you make a face in disgust. “Don’t act cute, it gives me hives.”

“Okay, maybe not Son Heungmin. I could definitely be the next Park Jisung—and I don’t mean him.”

Sungchan points to a boy passed out on the benches, his exhaustion typical of any high schooler while another boy sits beside him, fanning him with a bunch of assignment papers. Jisung and Chenle really are more entertaining than any game on this field. 

You turn to look at Sungchan, who’s moving his head around trying to catch their attention. When he finally does, he waves at them and gets big grins in response. He’s not all that bad, you think. In fact, he’s quite possibly the most amiable boy in senior year.

“Just be Jung Sungchan,” you mutter. “Not Son Heungmin or Park Jisung.”

Sungchan turns to you, smiling wide. “Advice taken.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Maybe it’s just you but Sungchan has been glancing at your lips very frequently today and mentally thank Chaeryoung for letting you borrow her lip tint. You didn’t know something so subtle could get you this giddy.

“Are you… going to give the CSAT?” You ask, glancing at him nervously. Part of you is sad you only developed your first high school crush in the very last semester. Or if it’s comforting, you could believe you’ve liked him all this time.

“Nah. Sports scholarship,” he says nonchalantly. “I was going to tell you but… I’ve been scouted already.”

You gasp. “That’s… great. Your future’s all settled.”

Sungchan seems to dislike the idea, lips pursing. “I don’t think anything’s settled except for the next step.”

You nod, somewhat understanding. 

“What about you?” He asks. “Any university in mind? SKY? I’ve seen you study extra hours at the library.”

You look away, not feeling ready for the conversation.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly. “I don’t know what I like and what I want. I don’t even like cheer anymore.”

Sungchan gazes at you wordlessly but it’s the most comfortable you’ve felt talking about this.

“Maybe I should quit,” you mumble.

You don’t want to commit to something you no longer have passion for. But then again, you’ve spent so much time on it that it’s hard to leave. 

“You should,” he responds, honest. 

You scoff, shaking yourself from that moment of vulnerability. “But why would I quit something I’m good at?”

“If you don’t like it. If it hurts to leave but isn’t any better when you stay, you should leave.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re quite the philosopher.”

“I’m smart, right?”

You smile. 

“Oy, you two!” Chenle calls, making his way to you two with Jisung trailing behind. “I don’t mean to interrupt your flirting but you got a spare water bottle?”

“Are you two going out now?” Jisung asks as a follow-up, and you feel a hot flush for some reason, unlike the previous times you’ve been asked this question.

“No,” you answer. You don’t mind the idea though now.

“Don’t lie,” Chenle complains. “I saw that picture of Sungchan teaching you how to kick a ball. You? And soccer? Something’s up.”

You throw up your hands in exasperation. “Seriously, who keeps up posting to the school page? And where do they get the time?”

"Two people with this much compatibility will always be a hot topic."

"We're not compatible," you retort quickly.

"Wait," Jisung says. "I know how to resolve this."

You raise an eyebrow.

"How do you have your cereal?" He asks, looking from you to Sungchan.

"Cereal first, obviously," you answer.

Sungchan looks up, finger below his chin as he thinks. "I drink the milk first, then eat the cereal and then breakdance to mix it all together."

You pinch your nose. "I swear I question your sanity all the time."

"Hah! That means you're thinking about me all the time."

You look away, rolling your eyes. He responds with an open-mouthed smile and finger guns.

"See?" Jisung grins. "Compatible."

The gruff voice of Coach Lee startles the four of you and Sungchan leaves with a sigh and a promise of meeting after practice. Jisung leaves with Sungchan and Chenle gives you one last teasing smirk before sitting down and going through the assignment papers he was using as a fan previously. You will never understand his miraculous ways of performing his presidential duties.

You don’t have a good feeling about the next match. The only reason you’re even sticking around anymore—as embarrassing as it—is to spend more time with Sungchan. Being with him puts you at ease, even if the school tries to wrap the two of you in a rope of uneasiness. This is your very last practice, for the next match is the final one of this year and then you’ll be back to spending even longer hours at the library with a stack of textbooks. It’s supposed to be a carefree age. At least, adults say that. Your high school life seems to be riddled with worries, and with that thought, you head into the air conditioned room to take a breather off your anxieties. 

Only one more match, you remind yourself. 

The pre-match buzz is driving you to the edge.

Your form is off, you can feel it already and Coach Kim isn’t as sunshine-as-rainbows as she usually is, courtesy to it being the last match of your life. She’ll never know though, how much you don’t want to do this. 

Sungchan waves at you as he usually does before a match, disappointing a third of his fangirls, but it helps you ease. One last time, (name).

Watching the crowd of people, parents and siblings and friends, all excited and talking makes you take a deep breath. You practiced but it wasn’t good enough. You can never do well at something you don’t like anymore. This time, you feel guilty for committing to things half-heartedly. You want to start that fresh new college chapter already, with all of this behind.

There’s ten minutes left. You go back to the empty hall outside the lockers only to pace. This isn’t helping.

“(name)!”

You turn around abruptly to find Sungchan’s tall figure, and you must be looking miserable because his smile falls.

He doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, only takes careful steps towards you. “Do you need water? Medicine?”

His hands hover over your shoulder but he doesn’t burden you with them. You put your face in your palms and sigh, sinking down to the floor in a crouch.

“I want to quit,” you whisper. Your voice comes off more brittle than you’d like, and you realize that Sungchan hasn’t seen you cry since seventh grade when you failed a math test. You didn’t tell him then but you appreciated him studying extra hours for math just to teach you.

“You don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to,” he says quietly, dropping to the floor beside you. “I’ll stay with you.”

You stare at him dumbfounded. “Don’t be ridiculous! They’ll lose without you—you’re the ace, Sungchan!”

“There will always be an ace,” he retorts. “Maybe Jisung will finally get to shine. Or anyone else. I don’t mind spending an hour with you alone.”

You feel a hot flush spread over your cheeks. Looking away to the side, you mumble an ‘alright’ and only glance from the corner of your eye to see him smiling. Jung Sungchan is the most unreasonable boy you’ve ever met. Perhaps it makes him somewhat loveable too.

“It’s your last match,” you whisper helplessly.

“I’ll join the college soccer club and get to play more matches.”

You sigh, giving in. If he’s so adamant, you think that perhaps there is something in you worth sacrificing his game over. It makes an oddly warm feeling bloom in your chest. Sungchan is so damn convincing with his words. You wonder if it’s really okay.

With shoulders touching, an awkward silence takes over in the next second. You turn to him and open your mouth, watch him do the same and close it at the same time he does.

“You know,” he begins, “I was kind of lying about not worrying because I get the feeling coach will evaporate me tomorrow but—I can handle it. Mostly.”

You stare at him with wide, worried eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Sungchan. I’m the one running away.”

You slouch, pulling your knees closer to your chest and burying your face in them. The urge to scream is boiling within you but you can’t get caught. Not now.

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing,” he responds, insightful. “If you’re not up for it, it’s better to quit early than to regret it in the long run.”

You don’t know if it’s the fact that he just quoted Taylor Swift or spoke like your old school counselor—but you find yourself laughing. He makes sense. Sungchan, in his weird, oddball ways, always makes sense. And in that same way, he feels like home.

“You’re so good to me,” you say, looking up at him and at a proximity you’ve never been before.

It’s his turn to fluster, though he doesn’t do so as visibly as you do. He clears his throat, shifting his eyes around before meeting yours. “I- This is bad timing but… I like you. I really do. Since third grade when you drew that birthday card for me. I have it in my bedside drawer, by the way.”

He looks away and makes a face, probably wondering why he said that out loud.

You press your lips tight to prevent the smile that tugs at them. He looks at you with a wobbly smile, trying his hardest to resume his usual dignity—but he’s just a boy, after all. 

“My type is dumb and pretty, though?” You tease, the smile escaping. “You said it yourself.”

He blinks. “Well, I am pretty but if you want me to be stu—”

You shake your head. “I like you too. You don’t have to act cute.”

He pauses, thinking. “I have never acted cute in my life ever. I was born cu—”

You hold his face between your thumb and forefinger. “You do that again and you die.”

He breaks into a smile. 

“I’ve never met someone quite like you,” you whisper, embarrassed of your own feelings bubbling up from the bottle you had kept them in.

He laughs, open-mouthed and pretty. 

“Actually, hey, I didn’t like you all this time from fifth. I liked you and then I didn’t like you and then I liked you again—”

“Okay, I get it.”

His shoulders relax and he smiles at you. You look up at the clock on the wall by the entrance to the field and bite your lip. You don’t love performing anymore but you know all the girls do, even the stand-bys. Jisung might not have to take over Sungchan’s position but you bet one of those tenth graders would love to take yours, the same way you did back then. They’ve practiced harder than you too and it’s only a matter of deserving.

You take a deep breath and get up, pulling up Sungchan by the hand. He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive eyes scanning over your face and you smile at him, strengthening your resolve. You should have done this way sooner.

-

Sungchan plays. You don’t let him sit it out with you. 

Halfway through, you cheer the hardest you ever have, plastic decorative gemstones stuck by your eyes borrowed from the other girls cheering. It’s much more fun, you think. You’ve never experienced soccer like this. You’d love to sit at stadiums and join in victory chants. There’s enough weight off your chest to yell your lungs out.

Sungchan scores a goal almost immediately after and sends a thumbs up over to you. You laugh. This is the best break you’ve ever taken from cheerleading. 

“Ooh, is this perhaps the (name) effect?” Chenle’s voice rings through the speakers and you feel yourself shrink slightly under the eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your homeroom teacher signal very angrily to the commentator box. You shake yourself off it. So what if everyone’s looking?

Sungchan places his hands on his hips, chest heaving and sends another signal to you before beelining for a straight goal. You whoop and the girl with a notebook beside you is visibly annoyed at this point but you don’t care. 

Without doubt, your school wins and you watch as Sungchan runs to his team, a big smile on his face. The second he’s done getting pet by the team, however, he rushes to the bleachers, skipping over the steps to you, panting when he stops. The risk he took was definitely not calculated. He holds up one finger while he heaves.

“My cheering worked best this time, it seems,” you say to him, laughing.

His face is flushed from the exertion but he laughs heartily. “You could be yelling profanity at me and it’d still encourage me.”

You shake your head at the cheesy line. He takes a step forward, well inside your space but you don’t mind. He leans in.

“Everyone is looking at us,” he says under his breath. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

You look behind him to find the whole team, along with your girls sharing furtive glances and giggling at the sight of the two of you. A few of the junior girls slap each other’s arms, bouncing on the balls of their feet in excitement. You’re not a celebrity. But everyone wants to cheer things on once in a while, don’t they?

“Good,” you answer, before pulling him by the shirt into a chaste kiss. When you pull apart, Sungchan’s face is so struck with awe that you want to look away but instead you bite back an obvious smile. It’s about damn time, someone from the soccer team yells.

“Woah. I think I scored a goal either way,” he says, an offbeat smile on his face.

“Oh come on, we didn’t even get to chant ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ yet—oh shit, the mic’s on.”

Chenle is definitely getting an earful from your teacher after this. The two of you wave at him at the box and end up laughing at him trying to hide behind the desk. 

As expected, the whole crowd surrounds the two of you in less than a minute’s worth of time, with several congratulations and “good score” offered to the two of you. The boys mess up Sungchan’s hair while the girls compliment you on how cute a couple you are. There’s also the question of when you started dating that pauses the buzz and makes everyone look to the two of you for an answer. Sungchan turns to you and you turn to him, and there’s no way you’ll tell half the school that your confession came in a private hallway outside the field—teenage imaginations run wild. 

Instead, you slip your hand into Sungchan’s and run down the bleachers and towards the exit, laughter spilling from your lips. There’s only one place you can think of going to spend a cool blue late afternoon with.

“Skate plaza?” He asks.

“Skate plaza,” you answer.