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notaninterest · 4 years ago

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Carnal *1* (A Hisoka x Reader)

[A/N]: Hello! My username says notaninterest, but feel free to call me Cece.

I'm going to be making this into a story! So I do hope you stick around for the other parts to come. This is also posted on my Wattpad if you're interested. I don't know how many chapters this is going to be but it shouldn't be too long. We'll see :)

I update weekly to biweekly depending on how my life pans out. I will let you know when you should expect the next chapter.

I think I made some mistakes with my writing about Nen so I hope that's okay. I'm not going to be completely accurate in my writing. I hope you understand.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

warnings: heavy sexual themes, smut, Hisoka being fucking hawt

The smell is the same as any other strip club. These grimy places usually never interested him, but tonight is different. It is not the same as the others. He urges for something, something not related to his bloodlust. Yes...He requires a woman. And places like these were full of them. He smiles to himself whilst taking a sip of his alcohol. Nevermind the crowd of inebriated men and some women. His yellow eyes are trained on the dancers, three different ones each accompanying their own respective poles. One of them is a brunette with an aline bob, her hands above her head wrapped around the pole and her legs crossed over the pole with her back facing towards it. She held a look of lust while she arched her back, exposing her full bare breasts further to the crowd as she spun down the pole slowly. While she played the part, her aura certainly didn't feel the part. Hisoka could sense the underlying hatred and disgust this girl has for her job and while she is good at it, she clearly doesn't enjoy it. 'Too boring. Easily manipulated. Not enough fun.' He decides, switching his gaze over to the second girl. This one has long, blue hair reaching to her waist. She confidently swirls upside on the pole, grinding against it upside down. As she reaches down lower, she does the splits midair, manipulating her lower body to face the crowd of horny alcoholics, giving them a peek as to what's beneath the lingerie. A man in the mass of bodies spits out his beer in surprise, quickly throwing money at the dancer. Hisoka rolls his eyes. It's clear as day that she's just a run of the mill slut, perfect for this specific area of expertise. She's clearly in it for it all. Sex, money, and exhibitionism. She doesn't care who watches her or who touches her. She enjoys it all the same. While sensitivity to touch was always a plus, he prefers at least some resistance to his advances. He likes 'em feisty.

The third dancer however...bingo. Her [h/c] hair is what first draws him to her significantly more than the others. The second? Well, he can't sense her aura. In fact, now that he thinks about it, he can't feel it at all. She must be using Zetsu to conceal herself from any Nen users. Little does she know that any other other highly experienced Nen users like himself can easily spot through her deception from just looking at her. Another smile upturns his lips. She will certainly entertain him for the night. He continues to watch her, noting the way her [e/c] eyes sparkle with excitement, nervousness, and some other emotions he can't place. This placates his curiosity more. "Oi, bartender." He calls one of the employees, who walks over while cleaning a glass. "What's the name of that third dancer, the one right over there?" Hisoka asks, pointing over to the mysterious woman. "Well that'd be [Y/N], the most graceful of them all." The bartender gushes, clearly having it out for the lady. "Hmm...'most graceful' you say..." He'd be the test of that one. He continues to stalk you out from the bar, sipping on his alcohol slowly. He needn't be drunk for this experience. No...He's going to enjoy this one to satisfy his more carnal cravings for a longer time. He watches you closely. You were wearing very little, definitely giving the appearance of confidence in your body. That scores high in the point system in Hisoka's head. You were currently positioned so the front of your body faced the pole, your backside facing the crowd. You bent over at the waist, grabbing the pole in front of you and bending to a 90-degree angle. Your toned ass is on clear view to the people in front of you and you slowly rotate your hips, imitating a sexual act in midair. Or, at least trying to. ‘Mmm...she's perfect.’ Hisoka dreams of the acts he'll perform on you, becoming more excited by the second. He continues to watch you, head in his left hand, his drink in the other. As soon as you finish undulating your hips, you slide up against the pole, grinding your pussy against the cold metal. A gasp leaves your lips, one that should be inaudible considering the noise and the atmosphere, but it's a noise Hisoka can hear as clear as day. It's clear that from the pitch in this noise and the way you move your body that you're not experienced in this area, which leaves him to wonder why you chose it. Maybe for the money? No...he doubted that. You didn't lurch your body around the pole as deliberately as the first dancer. There was a secret to your work that he doesn't know of. It becomes painfully more clear that you aren't experienced in any pole work at all, judging by how clumsily you slither up the pole. Your eyes struggle to convey the desire to practically fuck the pole and instead are glazed over in what seems to be a sort of nervousness. To any other everyday individual, you'd look like a professional, maybe graceful as others say. Yet, to Hisoka, he can see right through your dancing façade. Why are you doing this...he must sate his ever-growing curiosity.

As the number finishes and the dancers walk offstage, Hisoka approaches the man responsible for handing out lap dances and the like, going to put his request in nice and early. "Eh?! You request a room for the rest of the night?! S-Sir I'm afraid-" Hisoka holds up a heavy, full bag. "This here is enough jenny to last you a lifetime and even your grandkids if you spend it wisely." He smiles as he hands the packed bag over, watching as the man's eyes light up in greed. He needs this money. And Hisoka can tell. "I'm sure we can make something work. This man here will guide you to your room." The greedy man shoos over a hefty bulk of a guy, who promptly tells Hisoka to follow him. Hisoka smirks, dropping the bag of money on the slimy man's desk. "Very well. Thank you." He thanks, following the brawny dude to his assigned room.

The large man guides the magician to the room furthest down the long hallway. As Hisoka opens it, he notices it to be some sort of suite. He chuckles to himself. The other rooms were smaller. Money sure did get you good things. The strong guard before him tells him that the dancer he requested will be with him shortly before leaving, giving Hisoka some time to himself before you arrived. He investigates the big room for the time being, meticulously looking over things. There was the obvious king-sized bed, massive enough for two bodies. There's a nightstand full of condoms and lube. It has a lamp with a red shade on top of it, which Hisoka turns on. The room fills with an additional red light, making him smile. Yes...mood lighting. He's looking through the dresser across the bed when the door swings open, an angry-looking woman greeting him. He smiles at her, arms crossed behind his back. "Hello, [Y/N]-" "I don't allow any clients to touch me, much less have me for 12 hours straight!" You interrupt as you fume, glaring at the magician before you. "Must be your lucky night then." Hisoka chuckles, running his entrancing eyes over your body. Your minimal clothing was enticing to say the least, easily getting him worked up. But the air of mystery swarming around you fuels his horniness more. He needs to find out what exactly you are up to. The door suddenly closes firmly behind you, clicking locked behind the woman. You panic, trying to open the locked door handle. As predicted, it doesn't budge. "I think what you mean by not allowing anyone to touch you, you also mean you haven't even touched yourself?" Hisoka asks, beginning to walk over to you with his hands still behind his back. Your aura suddenly springs to life, surrounding your body in an instant. Hisoka smirks, continuing his approach. "St-Stand back, clown! I will not hesitate to send you flying!" You stamper, projecting your Nen in an offensive manner. "Hm..." Hisoka ponders, stopping inches away from you.

You're strong, but not nearly as strong as he is. He wonders how long you've been practicing. Must've been a few years now. You place yourself in a defensive stance, one arm angled up at a 90-degree angle and the other positioned a little below that one in the same stance, legs spread apart with one a little behind the other. Ah, yes. Every stereotypical position most fighters took when looking to fight. It looks silly with what you're wearing. And the look on your face was so hilariously serious. That's why Hisoka couldn't stop himself from laughing. He seriously tried to contain it, but the silliness of your posture combined with your facial expression absolutely cracked him up. This reaction serves to royally piss off the woman in front of him. "What?! What's so funny?!" You snap at him, clenching your hands into fists. He laughs himself to literal tears, holding his stomach with one clawed hand. "It's just...Your Nen compares next to nothing against mine, but your effort is quite adorable." The Transmuter purrs, wiping his cheek and taking a step closer to you. You look worried, taking a step away from the man. He responds by simply taking a step closer. "Wh-What do you want from me, f-freak?" You stutter nervously, finding yourself being backed into a corner. "Why, you of course." The magician licks his lips to emphasize his statement. A blush crosses your [s/c] cheeks, your eyes gleaming with fear. The look is so utterly delicious to him.

He chuckles, continuing to walk towards you. You back up until your back is literally against the wall, leaving you nowhere to go expect towards the creepy man. You breathe shakily, making your fear of him clear. "Well, let's get started...[Y/N]." Hisoka smiles, placing his hand next to your head and leaning down to touch noses with you. It's clear his height intimidates you. You swallow and swing, missing your Nen-powered punch by a longshot. He dodges, letting the attack wisp by his right star-drawn cheek. Hisoka giggles at your attempt, grabbing your outstretched hand with his free one and pinning it against the wall you were up against. You look totally helpless, fuelling his desire more. "Oh-ho-ho, trying to hit me are you now? Your attempt turns me on." He teases, fully smiling at your clear look of panic. His eyes narrow as your Nen powers up, sensing that you're up to something. He uses Gyo, centering his Ren in his eyes and watching your aura, watching as it enhances to your hidden fist behind you and to your left leg. So you're an Enhancer, hm? You were going to try to bait him with a fake punch before actually hitting him with your left leg? Okay. He feigns as if he doesn't suspect anything, allowing you to throw your fist at him before pulling back, jumping up and predictably swinging your leg at the left side of his teardrop-stained cheek. He allows the attack to land on him, his head snapping to the side with a frightening speed. Your eyes light up victoriously, but they soon dim to horror as he turns his scuffed up face back to look down at you with a smug smirk. "Any normal person would have flown away with that attack, so I must say I'm impressed. Yet, I'm not a normal man if you can't already tell. Your attacks will provide you with no protection if I haven't already predicted this. It's cute that you think you have an evenly-scored battleground with me." Hisoka chuckles, pinning you against the wall with both of your hands restrained by his at this point.

Your expressive eyes give away your anxiety of the situation, but your face remains hard with determination. The look reminds him of a certain 12-year old boy. This stirs his lust for you up further. He licks at his pale lips seductively, yellow eyes glowing into your own [e/c] ones. Your cold glare sends a spike of pleasure right to his hardened dick. He smiles wider if possible. It's becoming increasingly clear that you have no chance against him and he finds this power over you intoxicating, delicious even. "I have a question for you, [Y/N]. Sate my curiosity if you will." The clown husks, putting his mouth right next to your right ear. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of your face and you gulp nervously. "Shoot." Your icy voice fills his ears, and he gives a simple, "Hmm." at your compliance. You were going to be so much fun to break. He really chose the right contender to satisfy his needs. He snickers into your ear, his hot breath hitting the shell of it. It causes you to barely shiver. It was almost imperceptible, but not to perceptive Hisoka. He grins with this discovery, deciding not to voice it. You would soon find your body betraying you. "Pray tell what you're doing in a place like this? We both know you're not qualified for sex work, so what really brings you here, [Y/N]?" Hisoka's flirtatious voice whispers against your flesh. You noticeably tense up at the question, your hands forming into fists. Your wrists flex in his grasp. He seems to have hit a sore spot. You don't respond immediately. This moves Hisoka to press his body up against yours. Your almost completely exposed chest rubs up against his completely covered one and you gasp at his movements, clearly not expecting them. "Mmm your body feels delightful up against me dear~ Now answer the question." He lustfully whispers in your ear. You seem frozen in place, eyes wide with surprise. He decides he quite likes that expression, ingraining it into his memory. You quickly catch yourself, squirming against his body. "Let m-me go!" You stutter. Your futile attempts only rub him in all the right ways and he moans deeply, the noise hitting your right ear loudly. You gasp, your cheeks reddening with...desire? You freeze up again. He chuckles. "You feel amazing rubbing up against me like that~ Now...are you going to answer or am I going to force it out of you?~" He mumbles sensually, rubbing his lips against the flesh of your ear. You lick your lips to moisten them, your breathing correcting itself quickly.

"I'm here to collect a bounty." You simply state, watching his pale face out of the corner of your right eye. He laughs. "Liar." He growls into your ear, his hands tightening on your wrists before he throws you behind him. He listens as your delectable body bounces on the massive mattress before he turns around, predatory eyes focusing on your scared ones as you sit up on the bed. "That's the truth-" "Incorrect. I'm simply calling you out on your bullshit." Hisoka grins, beginning to approach the bed with obvious sexual intentions. You back away to the headboard of the bed, your back pressing against the splintering wood. He crawls onto the king-sized cot, stopping as soon as he looms on top of you. The look in his eyes is hungry as he looks down your body once again. He loves the position you're in. Utterly helpless. He places his hands beneath your arms, leaning down so that he's touching noses with you again. "Answer the question. Truthfully this time." He adds, smiling deviously in your flustered face. Your mouth remains shut. That's fine. It's well past time for him to immerse himself in your beautiful body. He reaches underneath you, carefully manipulating his clawed hand to the string of your toppiece. He unties it, the flimsy material of the lingerie falling away from your breasts almost instantly. You puff out a noise of embarrassment, your hands quickly coming to aid in hiding your tits from him. The magician quickly evades this method however, encircling both your wrists in his hands again and pinning them next to your head. He takes a long look at your perfect bust, practically drooling at the sight of them. He truly scored with this catch. He smiles, making eye contact with you again. He does not hide his lust from you this time. "Fine.~ I suppose I'll have to try a different method to coax an answer out of you." He punctuates this by licking his lips, moving his face over your bosom. Your eyes watch, curious as to what he'll do. You look nervous and Hisoka couldn't hold back his smirk. The nervousness only virgins hold. This'll be one hell of a lay. He almost couldn't contain his excitement.

He sticks out his tongue, running it over your left nipple before popping it into his mouth. He gives an experimental suck and watches as your body jolts beneath him. A noise akin to pleasure leaves your throat and you look embarrassed at this, closing your eyes. His smile widens and he continues to suck on your nipple, running his tongue over it at the same time. He releases your right hand when he's sure you won't move, using his free hand to massage your other boob. He kneads the flesh in his palm, squeezing the whole thing harshly. Your back arches off the bed and a groan leaves your lips, your hands squeezing as you squirm beneath him. Beautiful. The way you respond to him. You must be sensitive. He watches your face with his observate eyes, watching as your face relaxes into a sort of pleasured expression. Perfect. He pops your breast out of his mouth, replacing it with his other hand. He continues his ministrations for a few quiet moments, listening as you release more pleased noises. This heats up his body more and as a result, his own face flushes up with his desire. "So [Y/N].~ You ready to spill the beans?" Hisoka asks, squeezing both of your tits rather roughly. You pant, opening your defiant eyes to glare at him. "Never." You huff, shivering beneath him. He chuckles. "Shame.~" He continues to fondle you, this time kissing and dragging his tongue against your stomach. Your muscles tense and untense and a full fledged moan dares to leave your mouth. Sensitive you are indeed. This causes Hisoka himself to shiver, your moan music to his ears. He drags his tongue up your stomach, in between the valley of your boobs and up to your neck, where he centers his attack. He laves his tongue in the area, kissing it too. Your moans double in volume and he smiles to himself. "Dare to share, [Y/N]~?" He huskily whispers, licking up to your earlobe and nibbling it. “Ahn- N-No." You pant, trying to remain as stoic as before. You were for sure a challenge...and Hisoka loves challenges. Chuckling, he bites at the skin of your neck, enjoying your flinch in response. "Fine. Be that way." He responds, returning his attention to your tits. He massages the flesh in his clawed hands, tweaking the nipples at the same time. He pulls them, making your back arch to follow them. He leans down to your face, running his nose against your cheek before kissing it. He moves his face towards your left ear, breathing hotly against it. You freeze up before shivering in response. "Perhaps I'll have to take more...drastic measures." He whispers into your ear, his right hand releasing its grip on your left boob and hovering over the side of your hip where a tie holds up the bottom piece of your sexy outfit.

He pulls at the measly string, untying it from your hip. It loosens the fabric, yet the triangular material protecting your modesty continues to cover it. This is fine. He unties the other string, the fabric effectively falling slack against your skin. Hisoka releases all touches, focusing on your lower body now. You move to cover your most sensitive bits, but Hisoka simply smacks your hands away with force, moving back to take the covering away from you. As you yelp and rub your hands, he uses his to grab the thong, taking it away from your body. He stares at your pussy in all its glory, licking his lips. "Say...~ all this interrogating has got me famished. You don't mind if I have a little snack, right?~" His seductive voice proclaims, spreading open your thighs and settling himself in between them. Your nervous eyes alight his own dilated ones and he continues his prowl. He inhales your scent deeply, moaning. Yes, you smell absolutely scrumptious! "I will not be asking you questions from here on out. I will be demanding them. So, [Y/N]. Tell me why you're actually here." He almost snarls, his claws digging into the skin of your hips, drawing a small amount of blood. You wince, but remain strong. "No." You respond icily, acting as if you weren't intimidated. It's almost cute, but he can smell your fear. You reek of it. He chuckles. "Alright.~" He immediately dives into your pussy, licking a stripe up to your clit. You gasp, an ungodly pornographic moan leaving your throat. Hisoka groans in response to your taste, licking up what is all of you. His practiced tongue flicks against your clit and your body twists around, full-fledged, unembarrassed moans leaving your mouth as his sucks on your sensitive sex. His thumbs spread your lower lips open and he flattens his tongue, giving another harsh lick all the way up. He sucks on your hole and you keen, arching your back all the way up. "W-wait -AH- I think I'm going to cum!" You yell out those magic words, your hands grabbing at his hair. That was fast. This fuels his goal further and he eats at you with much more fervor. He slurps your pussy, eating up all you have to offer. Your moans grow more high-pitched and before the both of you know it, you're cumming into Hisoka's mouth. He sucks up all the cum you have to offer, unabashedly enjoying all of it. By the end of it, you're a panting and sweating mess, while Hisoka remains fresh. "Wonderful.~" He murmurs dirtily against you, lapping at your pussy again. You flinch, panting up a storm. You release your grip on his hair, moving your hands to wipe sweat off of your forehead. "W-Wait. I'm too sensit- OH!" You exclaim as he sucks on your clit, watching your face closely this time. Your cheeks are the reddest he's ever seen anyone's become and your eyes are dilated with desire, something he secretly hurrahs in his head. You look amazing. He watches your mouth open in a frenzied moan and shivers, continuing his attack on your pussy. As he continues, he watches you unravel before him yet again. The sight is damning to say the least. You were a gorgeous sight to gaze at and he almost couldn't let you cum a second time, getting caught up in his own desire. He begins to rub himself against the bed to ease himself, moaning into your clit. The vibrations make your toes curl and you throw your head back in a scream. He watches your face as you come undone beneath him yet again, marvelling at your orgasmic expression. That's a face he's certainly going to remember forever.

You're different from his other whores, seeing how you aren't an experienced one. Also seeing as he didn't perform these acts on his other playthings. You're...special. To him for now at least. Surely you wouldn't mean anything once he's finished with you, right? He creeps up your body once your grip on his pink hair loosens, throwing off his shirt and undergarments, exposing his ripped physique to you. Your eyes hungrily trail down the eight-pack, coming into contact with the tent in his loose pants. "I will try this one last time. Final chance. Tell me what your purpose is being here, now." His authoritative tone falls on horny ears. You shake your head, expression firm. He smiles. "Very well..." He strips off the rest of his clothing. Your eyes are trained on his hard dick, a look of panic behind them. He smiles and positions himself at your entrance, wrapping his hands on your soft hips. You seem to second guess yourself. "W-Wait--" "Too late, [Y/N]. You can't stop me from taking you now." He huskily interrupts, beginning to push into your tight pussy. You yowl, pushing your hands against his muscled abdomen. His grips tightens on your hips and despite your efforts, his cock continues to push inside of you, rendering you helpless beneath him. You gasp, shakily exhaling. Your weak arms eventually give up, falling to the sides of you in defeat. He enjoys your submission, fueling his lust for you. He pushes himself in all the way with a hard thrust, making you cry out in pain as your virginity is given to him. He sits there for a minute, relishing in his victory and at the tightness of your walls around him.

He shudders, his whole body rocking with it. It was painfully noticeable. It feels amazing to be inside of you. That's a fact he couldn't hide. "Oh [Y/N].~ You...ngh...feel marvelous.~" Hisoka moans heavily, his grip on your hips growing tighter to the point of being painful. You quietly groan beneath him, arching your back as he begins to move. He moves out and in slowly, testing the waters. You squeak, grabbling your death grip on the sheets on the bed, bunching the material up in your fists. What a sexy display. It'd be better if it was on him instead. He encourages you to grab his back by lowering his chest to touch yours, putting his face next to yours. He effectively covers your body with his own. You get the gist of what he's trying to do, raking your nails against his back as you grab at it. He shudders at the feeling of your nails digging into his skin and in response, thrusts into your tight pussy roughly. You yelp at the new sensation, throwing your head back as the pleasure surges through you. Hisoka treasures your expression of newfound enjoyment, really relishing in being the cause of it. He nips at your ear, groaning deeply when it causes your inner walls to convulse around him more. He'll use that knowledge at a later time. For now, he hotly exhales against your flesh, making you shiver against him. He sets out a slow and punishing rhythm, slowly pulling out before forcefully shoving himself back in. You cry out each time his hips meet yours, tears forming at the edge of your eyes from the intensity of his fucking. Hisoka simply smiles, deciding to speed things up a bit. He quickens his pace, smacking against your hips more frequently now. "How's it feel, [Y/N]? Tell me - mm - how my cock feels inside of you." He grunts, sitting up to gauge your reaction. Your eyes roll into the back of your head at his dirty talk and Hisoka stops, almost cumming from the expression alone. He pants, pausing for only a moment. He awaits your response while he recovers, watching as your eyes return, your dilated [e/c] eyes looking into his lustful yellow ones. You attempt to roll your hips back onto him, but you fail horribly. You did, however, manage to sink down onto the rest of him, a moan leaving your mouth from feeling so full. Hisoka giggles. "So greedy for my dick~ Tell me how it feels, [Y/N].~" He puts your leg over his shoulder, opening you up more to him. He doesn't move. Not until you choose to respond, that is.

You whine at the lack of friction, glaring up at him with that desireful expression you hold. He smiles. You relent, closing your eyes. "Y-Your cock feels amazing, Hisoka." You admit, gasping and practically screaming as he continues his fucking you from the new position he put you in. Your eyes once again roll to the back of your head from the sheer force that he's pumping into you. You're a sweaty mess while Hisoka remains good as new, the workout hardly giving him any strain. You let out a cry as one of his thumbs connects with your clit, massaging it in time with his thrusts. Hisoka moans as you tighten around him and he continues to push into you, harsher now. Your vocality rings through his ears, heating up his body more if possible. His flushed face grows darker still and he singles in on his primary focus: making you cum again. He breathes heavily, thrusting into you at a now impossibly fast pace. Your moans feed into screams, your eyes closed from the intensity of his fucking you. He continues to finger your clit, focusing on your orgasm. He wasn't even close to his, but he decides that your release is more of a spectacle than his own. He zeroes in on it, listening as your moans reach a higher octave. Then, without warning, you arch your back for the last time, crying out as you reach your peak. Your walls milk him, but he refuses to cum, just watching your face as your orgasm rips through you for the third time. He'd definitely remember that face until he's cut from this world. He pulls out of you, settling on massaging your clit a little longer as you ride out the waves of euphoria. You twitch and moan breathlessly, gasping for air from the come down. Hisoka just watches, enjoying your facial expressions. You were certainly something. He stops touching you when you come down completely, breathing harshly. Your flustered eyes open, looking at his still lust-filled ones.

"I...," You start. Hisoka listens, tilting his head in curiosity. "I was assigned here to find you, Hisoka." You pant, wiping the sweat from your forehead. Your eyes are encircled in that hard set determination yet again as you tell him this. "My orders are to dispose of you." You admit, hardening your gaze. Hisoka smiles...and it's not a nice one. "Is that so?" He chuckles, flipping you onto your stomach.

"Tell me more as you sing for me...[Y/N].~ We've still got ten hours left for you to tell me all."

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Word count: 5,000+

Next chapter should arrive sometime today on Saturday, May 1st. I’m so sorry for the delay ;-;

#fanfic #hisoka x reader #hisoka smut #hisoka x reader smut #hunter x hunter smut

249 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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kaypeace21 · 3 years ago

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Will’s fear of clowns

*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD

Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!

I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night.

But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker.

I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened.

In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.

Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible.

Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)

So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes.

Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home. Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective.

What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time.

Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?

Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair.

Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened.

RESPONE (kaypeace):

I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays

As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…

I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.

if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.

The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”. Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.

If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…

#submission #stranger things theory #will byers #lonnie byers

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morethanalittleconfused · 4 years ago

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I accidentally wrote a 5k fanfic about incidents caused aboard the ghost by differences between species

I've been reading a lot of those old tumblr posts that are like “what if humans are actually just really, really hardy and alien species would be just completely blown away with the shit we put up with without a second thought” and it's got me thinking about the crew of the Ghost trying to get used to each other at first with three humans that are all just absolutely fucking insane, even more so than even your average human.

Rebels spoilers ahead, as well as a trigger warning for blood, vomit and general injuries

It starts with Hera and Kanan. It’s just the two of them, aboard the Ghost, and it takes some getting used to.

At first Hera is shocked by the way Kanan's body seemingly has no limits. He has never once complained about the temperature of the ghost, even when they were running low on power and Hera could feel her limbs start to get sluggish from the cold. Two weeks later he somehow managed to find his way back to the ghost after being in -2 degree Celsius weather for a half an hour with no coat on. When he walked back through the hatch with snow blowing in his loose hair and a red nose and said “it's cold as shit out there” after Hera had been panicking about losing him for the literal entire time, she had to practically scrape her jaw off of the floor. She would have been dead after a few minutes, and yet here he was, now steaming from a shower and shirtless, bitching about how the caf maker was broken.

As time went on, she learned his body did have some limits to the heat. At about 35 degrees he got irritable and short, but that was about when she started getting uncomfortably warm, too. But he would tolerate it. And more. He kept impressing her with the things he somehow managed to pull off, in conditions she would have thought would kill him. He could get knocked around far more than she thought he should be able to, and would haul himself back to the ship with a grin every time.

The way his body worked constantly surprised her. She noticed it first in how quickly he healed, and in how much he ate.

He could eat literally anything. Things she thought were poisonous for most species. He loved chocolate, and would easily eat ten times the amount that would send her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. He could withstand a ridiculous amount of alcohol, and could drink unprocessed coffee with no problem by the cup. Caf didn't seem to really affect him because his body processed it so fast. And he ate so. Much. it was ridiculous. The good thing was it didn't really seem to matter what.

Hera didn't need much food, but it had to be good. It had to count. Too much filler and she would lose strength. Her body couldn't process a lot, and if what she got wasn't exactly what she needed, her health went downhill, quick.

Kanan was not the same. He could, and would, eat anything. He didn't have any noticeable preference for plants or meat, or the quality of the food. If he could get his hands on it, he would eat it. He would eat food out of the refrigerator she would have considered to be dangerous. He put appalling amounts of random, unrelated food in a pan, cooked it, and acted like that was an acceptable thing to do. Omelets? She hated the very idea but he seemed to think they were wonderful.

And yet, for all that, they had once been stranded for over a week with only enough rations for one, and Kanan had insisted that she take the vast majority of the ration bars. She pushed back, and he then presented her with the absolutely shocking fact that humans can survive for over a month with no food. She was absolutely flabbergasted, and he took advantage of her stunned silence to press another ration into her hand, smirk at her and say, “I can take it. Trust me.”

Another thing she noticed very quickly was how fast he healed.

He could be bleeding openly one minute, and the wound seemed to close itself the next. She knew human blood had clotting factors far beyond that of nearly any other being, but it was ridiculous how fast he sealed himself up. Further into their relationship she got to see this close up when she accidentally touched some of his congealed blood on the floor of the refresher after cleaning him up. She had had to turn away and take a few deep breaths at the slimy, gelatinous texture. He had gently huffed out a laugh.

“Kinda gross huh?”

“Yeah... it's… unique.”

“I've always been kind of fascinated by the way it congeals so quickly. Handy I guess.”

Out of sheer curiosity she had run the end of a pen through the small puddle and been horrified to see that it mostly stuck together.

“It just… does that? Inside you? And that doesn't cause problems?”

“It can. If it clots when it's not supposed to. But mostly it keeps me alive.”

And it did. And though she wouldn't say it to his face, his ability to pull through seemingly anything took just one more worry off her plate. His wounds would be almost completely closed in often under a week, where she would have been dealing with bandages and salves for a month. He almost never got infections, and could keep going with seemingly incapacitating injuries.

They had once narrowly escaped a fight with a gang of imps and made it back to the ghost with almost no problems. She had a sprained ankle, so he had supported her most of the way there, and they had patched up each other's scrapes. He had needed a bit of training so he didn't just slap a bandaid on what could have been a potentially life threatening injury for her, but he did alright. It was only later, when they were sitting in the cockpit, well into hyperspace, and he had coughed suddenly, when things went sideways. She turned to see blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth, and more on his hand when he pulled it away. They both looked at it for a moment, then Hera almost blacked out as a sudden wave of adrenaline washed over her.

“Kanan you're- are you- let me make the calc- are you dying?”

“What? Oh- no I had thought I just cracked a few of my ribs but it would appear I must have broken at least one of them.”

“BROKEN? Your bone? Like in half?”

“I- yeah?”

“Chopper we need to get to the nearest med center right now. Tell them were coming. I dont care if its a fucking imperial light cruiser”

“Wait no lets not be hasty-”

“HASTY? YOU BROKE YOUR BONES KANAN”

“Okay i know it looks bad but really i'm not going to keel over and die right now. Make sure it's a safe med center and cheap too. I can wait.”

“Kanan your bones are literally broken.”

“Yeah. It's happened before and it will happen again. I've broken my arm twice. I've broken one of the bones in my lower leg. A couple toes. At least one finger. And don't even get me started on my nose. It didn't always look like this.” At that he had huffed out a small laugh, but then winced and brought a hand to his lower chest. Almost as an afterthought, he reached down and pulled up the hem of his shirt. She had started to avert her eyes at the sliver of hip he showed, but as he pulled the shirt up higher and revealed more, she felt the breath taken out of her. His skin was mottled a whole host of awful colors, angry and puffy. He coughed that wet cough again and said, “Maybe I do need a med center after all”

She was incredibly relieved when they dropped out of hyperspace and into the welcoming arms of medicine. She was less happy when Kanan was returned to her, that night no less, with only bandages around his chest and a note to “take it easy for a while” she was appalled to say the least.

His ridiculously resilient body sometimes created just as many problems as it solved, though. He got into bar fights after downing enough alcohol to kill a bantha, and got the piss kicked out of him. He ran headfirst into danger with little consideration for life or limb. He was reckless, and incredibly hotheaded, and overall behaved like a clown. She had no idea how the Jedi accepted humans into their ranks, if Jedi he was. Restraint, my ass.

His recklessness applied to food as well. He didn't really seem to mind what he ate, content with the knowledge that if it didn’t work out, he could always regurgitate it back up. Twi’leks could not vomit, like many other species. It was yet another bizarre human trait. The ability to purge substances from your body without them having to pass through your entire digestive tract and cause more issues had always seemed like a neat trick to Hera. That is, of course, until she saw it in action.

She was roused one night by a strange noise coming from the refresher, and she had padded to the door, only to find it open. Blinking in the harsh light, she saw Kanan curled on the floor, wearing no shirt. His hair was loose and hanging around his face, and he was panting heavily. She only had time to say “Kanan, what-” before he coughed and vomited into the bowl.

Her immediate reaction ricocheted from “Oh my god he's dying” to “I’m actually going to die just having to witness this” to “Oh stars he is actually dying” so fast she could barely process it. She was immediately horrified but had no idea how to help him.

“Kanan are you- do you need a medic? How- chop- CHOPPER! How do I help you? Are you hurt?”

He had turned and peered up at her with puffy eyes and a runny nose. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He tried to talk but his voice came out too rough and he had to try again. Even then it was strangely thick.

“Hera? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay? Am I okay Kanan? You're in here dying for stars sake and I have no idea how to help you and where the hell is chopper-”

“Hey. hey.” He turned away for a moment and took a long breath in through his nose. “Calm down for a sec. I feel like shit so you're going to have to talk slower. Are you hurt or something?”

“Hurt? No I'm not hurt i’m just- you- you're in here- I don’t even know-”

He closed his eyes and took another long breath in through his nose.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah i’m just… trying really hard not to throw up again.”

“Oh.”

He opened his eyes again and looked up at her again.

She shifted against the door frame. “But you're… okay? This isn't life threatening?”

He huffed out a soft laugh, then seemed to immediately regret it as he dropped his head between his knees for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and tipped his head back up.

“No. I'm good, I just ate something bad at that pub. And I also probably drank a bit too much as well. But I think it was definitely the squids fault.”

“Oh. So this is… normal?”

“More so than I would like. Yes.”

“Okay so…” she took a deep breath to calm her nerves now that it was apparent he wasn't in any imminent danger. “Do you need anything? How can I help you?”

“Some tea maybe. Some crackers. Anything ginger you have. It'll work itself out with time.”

She stood in the door, unsure of what to do, wanting to help him, and watched as he drew a quick breath in and closed his eyes again.

“Hera. Tea. Now”

“Right.”

As she dashed to the kitchen she heard the sounds of retching from behind her.

There were some strange things about humans that became interesting as their relationship developed beyond mere captain and crew. His hair, for example. At first she had thought it was appalling, the sheer volume of it. It was everywhere. But all it took was threading her hands through it a few times, and hearing the wonderful noises he made, before she quickly changed her opinion.

Related to his hair was the fact that humans seemed to enjoy a certain level of pain, which she could not understand. He would moan audibly when she tugged at his hair, which startled her the first time, in the best way. Once, when she was feeling particularly adventurous, she had dragged her sharp canines across the delicate skin of his throat, and had been surprised to find the taste of metal filling her mouth, sharp and bright. She was even more surprised at the way he had shuddered and come apart beneath her, just like that.

Then, later, when Zeb and Sabine joined the crew, there was yet another learning curve as Hera adjusted to another human as well as a Lasat, and Zeb adjusted to Kanan and Sabine at the same time.

Sabine was just as reckless. She was a fighter too, but she didn't have the force to help her out. Hera had more than a few small heart attacks in the early days of Sabine's presence before she fully appreciated that she could take almost as much of a beating as Kanan. Sabine had once walked over a half a mile back to the ship with a broken leg, and when Hera pressed her on just how she managed to do that, Sabine had gotten quickly tired of the argument, ending it with a, “I don't know what to tell you, Hera! I didn't have any other options! I had to do it, so I did.”

Hera was used to most of Kanan's strange human quirks, but Sabine presented a new and entirely alarming one, which Hera first came in contact with on a supply run. Sabine needed a monthly supply of medical supplies. Hera knew very little about menstruation, as that was a trait entirely unique to human females. Why their biology decided that it was necessary was completely beyond Hera, it seemed incredibly inefficient. Sabine made as little fuss about it as possible, but Hera had embarrassed everyone about three months in when Sabine asked hera to go get her data pad from her room. Hera had burst back into the common room, and only then was able to identify the smell Sabine was carrying with her that had been tugging at the edges of Hera’s mind all day. Blood. She turned on Sabine with a very distressed, “Sabine are you injured? Are you sick?”

To which Sabine had responded, with a distinct note of confusion, “No? Why?”

And Hera, without thinking, had said, “There's blood all over your bed? Did you hurt yourself?”

Sabine had gaped at her for a moment, then blushed ever so slightly. “I uh- I forgot to wash my sheets after... Sorry. I forgot about that before I told you to go into my room.”

Hera still had not connected the dots and was opening her mouth to further interrogate Sabine as to why her bedsheets were covered in blood when Kanan had jumped up and said, “Hera! Let's go for a walk, yes?” and pulled her gently out of the room, but not before she heard Zeb turn to Sabine and say, “So, why were you bleeding?”

Zeb apparently hadn't had much contact with the more alarming of the humans' quirks, as he had his own room, until Ezra showed up. Then Zeb had to learn for himself just how absolutely wild human biology was for himself. He arguably had a rougher go of it, because while he had the rest of the crew to help him out, he was literally sharing a room with a teenage human.

The first time Ezra got food poisoning was just about as rough for Zeb as it was for Kanan and Hera, except it happened in Zebs room. Ezra was mostly self-sufficient, but Zeb had come hollering down the hall. He had broken the “do not open my door without knocking” rule Hera kept firmly in place, but she couldn't even be mad at him. Hera was just glad Kanan had been in his own bed that night. She had woken to see Zeb standing in her door, his fur standing up like a spine down his back, one ear folded inside out, panting hard.

“Hera the kid- he’s- I don’t know what the fuck happened but he- I think he’s hurt- or- or something but I don’t know how to help him- it’s Ezra-”

At which point Kanan, who had been woken by Zebs racket, slid open his door wearing only his sleep pants. He took one moment to assess the situation, looked down the hall and said, “Oh, Ezra’s throwing up. Do you want me to take care of him, Hera?”

Hera sighed and got up from her bed.

“No, you get Zeb some tea or something. I've learned well enough how to hold hair back at this point.”

Zeb, still looking entirely horrified by the situation, allowed himself to be led into the galley by Kanan. Sabine poked her head out of her door, decided this crisis did not involve her, and went back to sleep.

The same situation had happened the first time Ezra had gotten a bloody nose in the middle of the night. It was the kind Hera had witnessed with Kanan, and knew firsthand how horrifying it was if one didn't know humans noses just Did That sometimes. It was a middle of the night kind of bloody nose, where Ezra had presumably woken up with blood all over his face and in his mouth and in his hair and on his sheets, and had tried to catch the blood in his hands, which was all well and good until he somehow had to get down from the top bunk and open two doors to get to the refresher. That left Zeb to wake up to a room smelling of blood, with blood on the floor, on the door panel, and a trail leading to the refresher where he found Ezra leaning over the sink which was also, conveniently, covered in blood. All it had taken was for Ezra to turn his face toward the creature standing in the door and say “Zeb?” before Zeb was hurtling down the hall in a panic, calling for Kanan to come help him because the kid was dying.

Sabine, who had been up working on a project, was the first to respond to this particular “The human is dying!” call. She took one look at Ezra, standing in his pajamas with blood on his hands and said, “That sucks,” and turned back to her room.

Hera, who was making her way down the hall to check on if Ezra really was dying this time, had the pleasure of seeing Sabine turn back and say, “If you want a tampon to stop up the bleeding, they're in the bottom left drawer.” This worked surprisingly well at stopping Ezras bloody nose, because he was blushing so hard there was no blood left for his nose. Hera turned back to comfort Zeb, telling him she had reacted the exact same way the first time Kanan had woken up with a bloody nose. She saw him come out of his panic in time to realize she had effectively confessed to sleeping with Kanan, but wisely decided not to say anything. Nothing he didn't already know.

The humans were absolutely bizarre to spend time around. They ended up installing a wall in the galley that had live plants in it, not because they needed fresh plants to eat, but because their brain chemicals got thrown off if they weren't around plants for too long.

They had empathy for everything. Hera had once witnessed Ezra cry in a market when they passed a fruit stand with a deformed Meiloorun. When Hera asked why he was crying, he had looked up at her with these huge eyes, sniffed, and said, “I just feel so bad for it! No one will buy it!” They had, of course, bought it. Kanan tried not to get attached to anything, but he apologized for bumping into inanimate objects, and Sabine got visibly sad when they had to throw out a good piece of gear because it was broken or old.

They all three loved swimming. They were awful at it, just barely flopping around on the surface, but any time they were near even relatively safe water, they were in it, having the time of their lives. Kanan had once explained to Hera that humans have an extra fun little bit of evolution called the mammalian dive reflex, which slows their heart rate and lowers their blood pressure when they are in water, making it calming and enjoyable. Hera was skeptical until she watched Ezra calmly floating down a river on his back and wished she had that, instead of feeling nothing but panic anytime she had to float in water.

They were mimics. They could replicate a stunning array of sounds, from animals to tech. Ezra's favorite way of annoying her was to make the noises her ship made when something went wrong, just to see how much she would panic before she realized it was him. They would sing along to anything, even if it was just instruments, and Hera would never admit it, but she loved Kanan's voice.

They could sleep anywhere. One of her favorite memories was walking around Chopper Base after a particularly exhausting mission and finding the three of them, Kanan in the middle, with one kid leaning on either shoulder, asleep, leaning against a crate. They had looked so peaceful, and yet she was again surprised at them. It was far too cold for her to even consider sleeping, there were fighters landing only a few hundred meters away, people running all over, and they were snoozing with smiles on their faces, just glad to be home.

And humans would pack bond with literally anything. She had thought Kanan was bad until she met Ezra. It was ridiculous. Her father had said that she was improper for developing a fondness for a droid, but the kid formed a relationship with everything that moved. It got them out of a few tight spots, sure, but she would never get used to having to sit still as some enormous predator loomed in their faces. The sight of Ezra staring down a cat the size of the ghost on some jungle planet, the cat's fangs mere inches from his face as it huffed at him, was something she would never forget.

They were wild and hard headed and strong and made her life so much more interesting.

Early on, Kanan’s strange human ability to adapt to seemingly anything had been a momentary point of contention between the two of them, and was still something she struggled with. It took time for her to be okay with the fact that humans and Twi’leks were just built differently. But it frustrated Hera how weak she felt compared to him. It infuriated her the way he could just walk off something that would have killed her. She had always striven to be adaptable and up for anything. She was strong, and she knew it. But she felt her inadequacies sharply next to Kanan. Early in their partnership they had been in the galley repairing themselves from yet another fight, when Hera had turned to see Kanan casually sewing his own skin up with a needle. The way he could just puncture his own skin like that, with nothing more than a wince and a hiss of breath, had made her see red for a moment and she had to excuse herself to the cockpit to take a breath. They had talked about it, and he had helped her to realize that she was, of course, strong. Humans were adapted differently, so it was entirely unfair for her to be comparing them. But they could compare emotionally, and she was one of the strongest people he had ever had the pleasure of knowing. The two of them were forged in war, and had been through incredible things. She had fought prejudice and overcome so many obstacles to get to where she was, the best pilot in the resistance, without question. As he had said the last part, she heard him smirk a bit, and looked over at him, bathed in the blue light of hyperspace, to find him with a little crooked grin on his face and his hair falling down around his ears. She had felt her guarded heart open a little bit more at that, and had to turn and gaze back out at the stars before her heart opened completely to this rogue of a man.

Later, pressed against his chest in a supply closet, hiding from some stormtroopers, she would marvel at just how fast humans' hearts beat. She knew they were supposed to beat about two times faster than a twi’lek, but his seemed like it was fit to fly out of his ribcage. She found herself thinking, “Is it supposed to be doing that? Is this why he's such a hot headed idiot?” Later she would discover it did not always beat that incredibly fast, usually just a bit faster than hers. It made him ridiculously warm, and also may have contributed to why he was so quick to anything. Not rushed. Not hasty. Just quick. Quick to anger. Quick to smile. Quick to fight. Quick to laugh. Quick to love.

Maybe that was why it was such a shock when he finally reached his limit. She had gotten used to him pulling through impossible situations. She had forgotten that they had limits, just like her.

And then, years later, a glimmer of hope. Ahsoka and Sabine, travelling the galaxy over, searching for Ezra. While Kanan was gone forever, she still had a chance to get one of her boys back.

And of course, there was always Jacen. Her beautiful little boy, who was soft and sweet and yet surprisingly strong, just like his father. And Hera was comforted to know that wherever this wild galaxy would take him, he had Kanan Jarrus’ blood coursing through his veins to keep him safe.

#kanan jarrus #kanan x hera #caleb dume #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #hera syndulla #sabine wren #garazeb orrelios #star wars #i accidentally wrote a fanfic #enjoy #tw #blood #angst #blood tw #rebels spoilers #rebels fanfic #fanfic #kanan x hera fanfic

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whisperingrockers · 4 years ago

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would u. i dunno. perhaps articulate some thots on toh infinity train au 😳 if u can

HM. i will do my best. but...i dont really know how to organize my thoughts. i guess i should probably just start with the characters and go from there, huh. also in this particular au these characters don’t actually take the place of tulip, lake, jesse, grace, etc- i think they’re all just there under different circumstances.

Luz

okay so we’ll start with Luz because. she’s the main character, y’know. very important. i think the catalyst that brings her to the train is her mother signing her up for Reality Check summer camp because as a creative it’s just! disheartening to have someone you love tell you that you’re not going to make it in this world if you don’t conform to what everyone else wants. so of course when a huge mysterious locomotive suddenly pulls up to the bus stop you KNOW luz gets on, no hesitation. after all, isn’t that something right out of a sci-fi adventure novel?

unlike tulip, luz is THRILLED to find herself on some unknowable train where each car is a new adventure just waiting to happen, where there are always new friends to make, new places to see, and tons of puzzles to solve? she’s made to feel like the protagonist right out one of her fave animes.

also, really important to note that her number is probably tied to how she relates to the other passengers on the train. i feel like there’s an overarching theme in the show about how luz is going through a lot of firsts when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially friendships, so i wanted to keep that going in this au- i imagine her number goes up when she finds her friends tapes and convinces them to watch with her because this is obviously the easiest and most straightforward way to get to know them! (luz poppin that bad boy into a vcr player: this mama is ready for trauma!)

realized how wordy this is going to be LOL

Eda

hough so this is a human au also (i assume? infinity train world really do be existing in some limbo state of reality where your reflection can just up and ditch you). i see her as a jack of all trades, master of none type, with a lean towards perfumes and handmade soaps that she sells at fairs or farmers markets and also pickpocketing. i think she sees something that reminds her of the life she used to have/would have had before lilith [redacted because i do not know what she DID yet but on GOD we will have canon continuity] and that drives her to get on the next train headed anywhere.

her number is tied to how much she allows herself to open up; the more she uses her salesman cover to keep others at arms length, the higher her number goes, which is why it’s so important for her to team up with King and Luz; they help her open up and be more honest with herself.

King

king is actually a denizen of the train in this au; i love him too much to turn him into a real ass dog, so i wont. eda meets him in a car full of plush toys, which he refers to lovingly as his army of the damned. i almost want to hold off on writing up any more for him because i know there’s more to king’s character than meets the eye. still torn between eda trying to bring him off the train with her or having him realize that the whole TRAIN is HIS KINGDOM, and all its passengers loyal peons who need their mighty rulers HELP, for without him they would PERISH.

for now though eda sees him and is immediately like get over here (reaching emoji)

Willow

willow is a tough one for me because in all honesty having your longtime friend tell you out of the blue that they can’t be friends with you anymore would be enough to send me packing to the train, but with willow i think it’s less about amity and more about how the fallout between them affects her social and academic success. the frustration reaches a tipping point that has her running out of the classroom and finding the train.

and yes, willow is a very sensible, bright girl, but she was also SO ready to trick the principle and steal from the emperor for her friend so i don’t think getting on a mystery train is wholly out of the question for her, y’know?

There’s a lot about repression in the way willow deals with things generally, so her number is tied to passivity. the more she allows others to infringe on her personal boundaries to keep them placated, the higher her number goes. when she stands up for herself to others (sometimes even her friends!) the number goes up. willow x agency and clear limitations is my otp

Gus

gus was actually a SUPER easy one for me we know so much about him from the episodes he’s been in; he’s an overachiever, he’s passionate about what he loves, he’s a natural showman, and he is constantly pushing himself to be the best that he can be, all the time. the hustle doesn’t STOP for gus, and i...i...(tears up)

anyways, i think the thing that draws him to the train is getting suddenly ousted from the club he formed at school. he’s young, and having everyone you had assumed were your friends turn their back on you and throw you out of the space that you CREATED FOR THEM would be shocking to anyone, but it broke gus’ heart clean in two. after he’d picked his bag and himself up off the hallway floor, he’d left the building in a daze, not even realizing as he boarded the train door that had suddenly opened up in front of him until it was too late.

i’m actually going to go so far as to say that gus would likely be the one MOST interested in the truth of the train- he’d be asking the tough questions, like what is the purpose of the train? who made it and its technology? where does it exist that it can be both at his school and also speeding across a barren desert landscape at the same time? How does it create sentient lifeforms? the train helps him discover a new passion; journalism. he finds a journal that speaks to him as a friend and advisor in one of the trains, and he takes careful note of everything that happens to and around him. by the time he meets up with willow, he’s got so many ideas and theories that the other girl would have never thought to consider until that very moment.

idk what his number relates to because he’s perfect the way he is but if i had to take a shot in the dark it probably has something to do with finding somewhere he feels he can belong, as well as being able to mourn and let go of the people he’d considered his friends before he’d gotten on the train.

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of . gus feelings.

Amity ( + Edric + Emira )

lumping these whites together

okay so nobody wants to hear me talk about blight angst there are 800 posts about blight angst, so long story short the three siblings run away, get into an argument with each other, amity ditches them for the train while they’re asleep, and the twins panic and chase after her, determined to find her because in the end they’re all they’ve got.

‘next stop: amity blight’

i think it’d be a cool journey to see the three of them going from ‘we need to be together out of necessity’ to ‘we need to be together because we love each other, and that genuine support structure will pull us through when everything else fails.’ but in order for that to happen they all have to have their own journey, so at some point edric and emira finally get into a spat and that’s enough to get edric and emira stuck on opposite ends of a retracting bridge. send that mans to the BACK of the train.

emira: my greatest fear is being stuck with edric forever emira: (gets separated from edric) emira: haha wait please say psyche

amity’s number is definitely tied to her fear of failure, of not being enough for the people she holds closest to her- in this case her siblings, and then lilith, and then luz when they finally meet. when she acts without concern for what the people around her think and when she sticks up for what she knows is right, even when the majority is against her, her number goes down.

for ed and em im...i don’t want to think about their feelings because they’re supposed to be clowns but i am forced to consider that they may be jealous of their sisters independence. also separating them means they both have to take responsibility for all their own actions and choices, which is probably pretty new for the twins.

Lilith

im out of energy actually znzzzsnsz uh. estranged sister who sees something that reminds her of the relationship she used to have and she’s not actually as over it as she thought so the train....she..hghrg

#toh #the owl house

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bimbosupreme · 3 years ago

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Hey, it's anon again. I've been really moved by your post, thanks to you and pearl-princess who drew the lovely picture! (There's so much depth to both Douman and Limbo. But all my acquiantances see is creepy horny man. They also say they're ugly.) Seeing blogs like yours always cheer me up, knowing that I'm not the only one who's obsessed with this dumb clown (affectionate) <3

Long response under the cut!

You sent this a while back & I still find myself struggling to even phrase the gratitude I feel reading your words. And I don’t want u waiting forever for a response on something u wrote super wholeheartedly so I’m just gonna ad lib a response as is and hope it’s sufficient

Limbo is an obsession of mines thanks to how well written they are and heian kyo kind of cements it, theres sooo much depth, i usually joke “they’re everything at once” and by that I mean a nice guy a bad guy an evil guy a good guy a confident guy an insecure guy. Etc all at the same time, I can’t wait until NA catches up so I can fully read translated heian kyo and lose my mind once I read the events I caught in snippets here and there about douman

AND I MEAN... yeah he’s creepy I will admit because douman kinda goes hand in hand with horror related things and that’s just due to how their nature is lol they’re creepy in how they act and I LOVE that so ur acquaintance aren’t 100% off with that assumption, and his final ascension .... he may be .. yeah I think he’s horny for sure there ... and he’s always screaming about ... honeydew when he’s injured thats a voice line when he’s damaged.,,, um.. there’s also his hedonism passive, that could just be pleasure tho right I don’t wanna say it’s ALL horny stuff but it’s certainly there to a degree lol

THEYRE WRONG ABOUT THE UGLY THO. I THINK HES BEAUTIFUL. The game even calls him beautiful carnivore, musashi trips up when she sees them because they’re HOT, i think ur friends simply refuse to admit it !!! Hmph!!!! I also think maybe they find the clothes and hair off putting but I swear if u dressed him up normal and gave him a normal ass haircut he looks like any other hot big pec anime dude

BUT THE MAIN THING THAT I WAS STRUGGLING TO RESPOND TO WAS YOU SAYING THAT BLOGS LIKE MINES MAKE U HAPPY

Thank you so much! I’ve mentioned this in previous asks to other ppl but it really needs to be reiterated that I’m nothing but extremely pleased to know that me doing my little clown doodles and uploading them can translate into making some strangers happy and *squints & readjusts glasses* you said “cheer you up” oh my that’s a lot of praise I wasn’t ready for uh uh um um that certainly seems like a powerful emotion to generate and a positive one at that, I’m literally sitting here drawing some clowns & u just point at me and go “that’s the shit I’m talking about” while I’m sitting there w my mouth agape & drooling & all my processing power is occupied by douman thoughts —— anyways !!!!!!!!!!! Douman fans are out there anon we out here (Pearl princess is one, general gray is another u can talk to — we often examine every single spoiler on douman with Extreme scrutiny all the time lol, my homie vampireadjacent is a douman fan, there’s a lot and I mean a LOT of douman artists on twitter especially on the jp side) he’s like. Very crazy popular on the jp side of fgo fandom things, I mean hell me & someone tried ordering official douman keychains when they came out and those damn things sold out in less than a day , so it shouldn’t be long until douman gets a figurine at which point I will be ready to trade blood for um I went off a tangent again, anyways anon main thing is thank you for sending such nice words in my direction and at me,

I was explaining to a friend that sometimes I hesitate to post drawings or explore more horror themes with douman and post those but honestly all this, support??? Um I guess the Positive Response I’m getting lately to my drawings regarding douman & horror things is leaving me feeling more confident to keep trying and push the boundaries more lol not that I need approval to post such things but it’s nice knowing “it’s ok” and now I have the knowledge that it “cheers someone up” like what do I even say to that goddamn that’s cool I can be that person for u, feeling honored over here teehee

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

This response was much longer than intended anon & I apologize for that but yeah I can’t believe a fucking mobile game character got me acting up and none of my fgo friends understand and I have to be like well u gotta play this dog shit mobile game and read all of doumans lines and ,,, ok another tangent lol let me stop anyways anon thank you I’m eternally grateful and ur words are gonna stick w me And I’ll use them as reference for when I feel bad to be like damn I cheered them up that one time whewwww 😭💖🥰😳

#asks #anon #shout outs to Pearl princess for drawing such a nice thing unprompted too wahhhgggg #also anon I listed to one of those utau videos he sounds WEIRD lol #still love him still love him

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concubuck · 3 years ago

Text

two guys going 🙃 and being awkward (9/10/21 chat log)

A conversation between Alastor/Buck (hi there) and Alastor/Alexa (@furby-organist/@killstreaming). So remember when Alexa said “you should turn your junk into a fan” and Buck said “one time i turned my junk into a garbage disposal wanna see” and an hour later Alexa went “I can’t believe I told my alternate to turn his junk into a fan” and Buck went “I can’t believe I showed my alternate my garbage disposal junk”? In a stunning and unprecedented display of mutual emotional maturity, they decide to mutually apologize instead of silently pretend it never happened.

concubuck

"Hi! Hello, am I reaching Alastor? This is your alternate speaking! The one that, uh..." AWKWARD PAUSE. "... The one from last night!" That was the only non-horrible way to identify himself, wasn't it.

killstreaming

Oh. Oh God. Alexa wanted to die significantly less today than he wanted to die last night after the post-clown clarity hit, but the feeling immediately SPIKED. Oh no. (Keep calm.) “Hi! Hello, alternate! Yes, speaking! What can I do for you?” He’s going to get chewed out, he knows it.

concubuck

Oh he answered. Buck had been braced to spend five minutes talking to dead air and never be sure if his alternate was silently listening or just not home. He sort of thinks this might be worse?

"Yes? Well!" Clears his throat. "I thought I ought to address last night before it festers. You see, I, uh..." A nervous pause; and then he sighs. "I—okay, look. Cards on the table: I haven't been human for several years. I'm doing a poor job of remembering human etiquette. Even the basic things, like 'don't send an unsolicited film starring your genitalia to a near stranger.' So—I—wanted to apologize for driving you to drink yourself to sleep."

killstreaming

Oh god, they were talking about last night. /Oh./ He wasn’t being chewed out. “I see. Alright. First and foremost, I appreciate you reaching out.” That meant /Alexa/ didn’t have to reach out. “Understandable and fair on all counts, apology accepted. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re entirely in the wrong here. What I’ll /mostly/ take you to task for is putting me in a position where I’d have had to deal with the awkwardness of declining /publicly/. But ultimately, moot point.”

“It was on topic, though, wasn’t it? I /started/ it, and for that, I owe /you/ an apology. I shouldn’t have roped you into that conversation to begin with. Admittedly, this sort of absurd lewd banter has become the norm on hotel grounds -- but with /friends I’ve known for a while/. I don’t know you well enough to bring up your genitalia, absurdist meem or not. I was out of line, and I apologize. I didn’t drink because of /you/. I wanted to exit consciousness upon realizing my social ineptitude, for which I have no excuse, as I’m currently human. So.”

concubuck

Apology accepted. Silent BIG sigh of relief. "Yes, I—I do recognize I put you in a no win situation, there. Modern etiquette hasn't yet provided us with a gentlemanly way of saying 'no, sir, I do NOT want to see your #### live and in color!'"

HE was owed an apology? He blinked in bewilderment, doing several rounds of mental gymnastics before he worked out WHY. "Oh! Oh. Yes, that's—right—well, I— Well that's—there you have it, just what I was saying about the difference between succubi and humans. It never even dawned upon me that the subject matter was unusual. In fact, I'm /sure/ I thought something to myself like 'oh! Dismemberment! How refreshing, a conversation that isn't sexual.'" Hi don't mind that slight edge of hysteria to his laughter, it's barely noticeable, hardly there, really. "Well—apology accepted, naturally. No damage was done, didn't even chip the paint."

killstreaming

“Pff--” Alexa cackled loudly, one hand uselessly covering his mouth. Live and in color, indeed. Alright, point made, looked like he and Buck were on the same page. “In retrospect, tuning in with no hesitation wasn’t the most grandiose display of decorum.” /Was/ there a correct way to have handled that? Alexa didn’t think so, so, no apology offered.

It was Alexa’s turn to internally sigh of relief. Good, he hadn’t irreparably weirded Buck out. “Hah, alright! I’m not entitely familiar with succubus etiquette, but I’m glad to hear it cast me in a better light than I otherwise would’ve been!” Oh, wheeze. “Hah, what people are into has never ceased to amaze me. Dismemberment, really. But hey-- I’m fine to say, no harm, no foul. I’m good if you’re good.”

concubuck

"... Mm. Perhaps." Tuning in with no hesitation was, in fact, exactly what he hoped and needed people to do. The suggesting that /watching what he offered to be watched/ was somehow inherently indecorous, as though to consume his content was an act of self-degradation... He shifted uncomfortably and tried to remember whether or not he would have agreed with his alternate back when he was human.

(Did it really matter? Wasn't it a succubus's duty to be a corruptive force? If gazing upon him made people a little dirtier, he was doing his job, right? He told himself that and tried to ignore how uneasy he felt in his skin.)

"It's less accurate to say succubi have etiquette around the topic and more accurate to say they have a near complete lack of barriers or standards. The mere fact I prefer not to cuss on air marks me out as queerly prudish." A rueful laugh. "No harm, no foul."

killstreaming

Good golly, Alexa, how do you eat when you’ve got your foot in your mouth so frequently? And he doesn’t even know this time! He’d intended to strictly critique /himself/, but it did imply something about the person offering, didn’t it? To make matters worse, he was taking Buck’s silence as judgment for being prudish about the matter.

Aaand then he wasn’t. Good, okay, they were fine, he really had to stop getting in his own head. “So you’re telling me it’s absolutely /lawless/ out there!” Dramatic hands to his cheeks. “Humans aren’t that much different -- they find me prudish for it as well. Anyway, my interactions with succubi have been largely business to this point, so I have much to learn about social norms.” There, a shield in case he shows his ass in the future.

concubuck

"Oh, succubi don't have much in the way of social norms worth learning." Which was probably a grave disservice to succubi for him to say, but he wasn't currently feeling very charitable to his own state of existence. "I interact with humans to interact with humans. Don't let me get out of line."

killstreaming

“Right, well.” And /that/ conversational door had been shut in his face. His smile thinned into a tight V. “Understood. Call me out if I’m out of line as well.” (He’d like to think his excuse is that he’s barely resocialized, but he doesn’t think it holds much water.)

concubuck

"I doubt you will be, but—yes. Of course."

He realized, a bit too late, that he'd come across as more dismissive than he'd intended to. He ought to offer /something/ more. "The thing is just that there is, as far as I can tell, nothing taboo to say among succubi. If a complete stranger says 'hi, how are you' and the other replies 'I caught something from this b##### and now my c### itches like a mother####er," of the two, the only one that said something surprising is the one who asked how the other is. So, there's—there's very little that /can/ be said wrong. Actions, /physical/ actions, can cross the line, but words are weightless. Almost meaningless, even."

killstreaming

“I-- pfft.” Buck’s sample of succubus dialogue threw Alexa off for a bit, he hadn’t been expecting that. Okay, give him a second, maybe you can hear him stifle another laugh.

“Really! No boundaries around oversharing whatsoever! Fascinating, and oddly reassuring! It’s not even that lax on hotel grounds!” And, well, Buck had gotten a glimpse of how wild those could get. “Look --all cards on the table, right?-- people think they can talk to my husband every which way because of his profession. Forgive me if I kick myself too easily over doing the same; it’s not a critique of succubus standards.”

concubuck

"Very few boundaries, at any rate. Personally, I think their could stand to be a few more. But when you're walking down the street, some oversexed pedestrian says 'hey there succuc###, wanna s### off my c###?' and you find yourself thinking 'do I have enough time for that?' instead of the more reasonable 'should I decapitate him or just give him a swift kick,' well... At that point you have to concede that the standards you think you should have and the standards you actually have no longer overlap, don't you?"

Which was a far more horrifying thing than he'd intended to admit. So he hurried on, "So—anyway, I appreciate the gentlemanly inclination; but don't beat yourself up too much over a comment that didn't even faze me, won't you? I'd hate for my own alternate to suffer needlessly on my behalf!"

killstreaming

Alexa wasn’t /judging/ Buck -- by what standards does one judge an entire other species & their cultural norms? it is what it is, -- but the divide between them was beginning to feel a bit more /present/. And did he want to hear about an acquaintance contemplating blowing a pedestrian? Not really, but he’d chalk it up to aforementioned cultural norm. He laughed to shake it off, and hoped it didn’t come out too awkward.

“Alright, alright, fair enough! Point taken. Don’t worry about me, then. And /you/ don’t beat yourself up either, alright? I don’t have much reassurance to offer other than that it takes a /lot/ to genuinely offend me, and I’d like to think I’m charitable regarding cultural differences.” He fidgeted, hoping he hadn’t said anything wrong. “I mean, because I /would/ like to keep getting to know you.” Did that sound like a come-on? If that came off like a come-on, he’d eat his whole foot. (The other one, the one he /hasn’t/ already stuck in his mouth.)

concubuck

It kind of did sound like a come on. But of the two Alastors who had watched his video, this was the one who HADN'T offered to fist him, and on top of that Buck didn't WANT it to be a come on, so he was going to take it on faith that it wasn't. "And I'd certainly like to keep getting to know you!" ... He hoped THAT didn't sound like a come on. "Ideally with less amateur pornography this time around."

killstreaming

Alexa almost made that stupid joke about waiting until the second date for that sort of thing (third if he's feeling REALLY old-fashioned), but no. Buck wasn't /in/ on the fact that Alexa was resigned from dating altogether. /That/ would be taken as a come-on.

"Ha! Sure, fair, sounds good. Now, I don't know how you feel about coffee, but if you'd ever like to meet for a cup, offer's on the table." Just whenever was good. (Something something morning afters are only awkward if you make them awkward, let me be a gentleman and handle breakfast -- it made more sense in his head. It was funny in his head. But really, a friendly coffee chat sometime would be nice.)

concubuck

"I'm practically powered by the stuff! Coffee sometime sounds delightful." And then, just because that really did sound like it could be a date, he added, "And since you're a married man, I'm going to trust that it's /only/ going to be coffee!" Little lighthearted joke—what's a marriage worth in hell with a succubus around?—but by God, he was determined to meet ONE alternate in person and keep it platonic.

killstreaming

"Good, that seems to be one thing we all have in common!" Coffee fiends, the herd of them.

This was probably /not/ the time to 'actually, it's an open marriage', oh well, Buck was just going to have to get blindsided next time Alexa wilded on voxblr. "Haha! Yes, yes, that's all, just a friendly chat over coffee. Unless the bakery items catch my eye -- then it's over coffee /and/ a croissant." Scandalous. Hey, some of those places made a mean pain au chocolat.

concubuck

"Well, who am I to say no to a croissant!" Okay, this was okay, they'd navigated this mess successfully and were coming out of it on the same page. Hah. Good. Good job, team.

killstreaming

"Aha! I’ll be looking forward to it. Just reach out whenever's good.” Well done, everyone. Crisis very much averted! The deersasters are going to be okay.

#furbyorganist #killstreaming #chat log

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every1studio · 5 years ago

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REQUESTED: “ateez x harry potter”

genre: misc.

ficstyle: bulletpoints + analysis

requested: “ Can u do an ateez Harry Potter au like ur ouran post?? “

note: I’m almost at 3K followers and was wondering what to do to thank all of you /:

HONGJOONG + GRYFFINDOR

(house: Gryffindor)

(being: half-blood)

has a huge sense of leadership; lets other rely on him

takes risks; is a talented student but is curious one, which makes him a troublemaking heart-throb

his playful nature makes him extremely charming; everyone’s eye candy

speaking of charming, he really enjoys charms and flying

you can catch him reading his book of charms while flying on his back while listening to music

actually that’s how you encountered him

you were munching on a pastry as you sitting on the rooftop of your dorm; going through your astrology homework

UNTIL he comes crashing down right in front of you

Hongjoong starts to tumble off the roof as his broom had already rolled off

you reached your arm with your wand in your hand to help bring him up

but he grabs your hand instead; you had to rely on physical strength to pull him up

when you both were safely seated on the roof, you couldn’t help but scold him

“don’t you have ANY idea how dangerous that was?!”

your furrowed brows had softened when he looks up at you; red hair was tousled, chest huffing and puffing, sweat running down his raised brows, and his smile SHOT right through your heart

“yeah, it was.. but you’re okay?”

you couldn’t help but nod

“then I’ll be on my way.. see ya Y/N~” he charms as he steps off the roof

“WAI-”

a gust of wind rushes by as he flies away on his broom

you don’t know how he knew your name

or how he charmed his way into your heart

SEONGHWA + RAVENCLAW

(house: Ravenclaw)

(being: half-vampire, half-wizard)

is led by logic and reason

known for being straightforward; speaks as if he is a walking book

bores the ladies with his speech but they’ll still listen to him because he’s so ethereally handsome

because he’s half-vampire, you can find him leaning on the railing of his window at night

he has permission by the headmaster to roam around as long as it was on school grounds

which is a plus for him, since he has a love for astronomy

it’s the one of the rare studies that connects the wizardly world to the Muggle world; he’s always been intrigued with Muggles

you were sneaking out to collect herbs for a potion, one to keep you awake to study

you were picking herbs in the school’s garden under the moonlight; the starry night sky distracted you from your picking

then you felt a cold sensation followed by a pair of beady, red eyes; you almost ran for it until you felt the being’s cold hand being placed over your mouth

“Seonghwa? is that you?” the ground’s keeper called out

“yes sir, it’s just me..”

“don’t do anything I wouldn’t do~” you both heard the ground’s keeper footsteps retreating

the moment his hand fell from you mouth, you gasped for air

Seonghwa felt apologetic, “I apologize.. I did not want you to get in trouble..”

he looks at your bundle of herbs, “potion making?”

you nodded, scared to look into his eyes, but his gentle voice pulled you in

“I know quite of amount of potions.. would you let me help you?” his bangs fell over his eyes and the scary red softened into a glowing reddish amber

“what’s in it for you?” you managed to squeak

“I would like to know more about the Muggle world... and to get to know more about you...”

YUNHO + HUFFLEPUFF

(house: Hufflepuff)

(being: 1/4 giant, 1/4 Muggle, 1/2 wizard)

the STAR of his Quidditch team; the Seeker

with his agility and long limbs, getting the Golden Snitch was always in his favor

this guy is just about the most perfect guy in the whole school

everyone either wants to be his friend or want him to be their boyfriend

literally has a heart of gold; like a golden retriever

the class clown but does pretty well in his classes; who has a secret love for herbology

you caught him tending some plants as you were making your way to the school garden to sketch

“awh.. look at my babies-”

you both accidentally make eye contact

“oh.. I-uh.. didn’t mean to interrupt.. I’ll just be on my way-”

“Y/N, WAIT!”

your eyes went wide when you heard your name

you didn’t think that one of the most popular boys in school would know YOUR name

Yunho didn’t know what to say or do next, but he didn’t want you to leave so soon

“uh.. wha-whatcha doing there?” he points at your sketchbook

“was planning on sketching..”

Yunho smirks at his idea, “wanna sketch me?”

you smirk back, “sure”

little does he know that you’re gonna draw him with his “babies” and blackmail him just to tease him

YEOSANG + HUFFLEPUFF

(house: Hufflepuff)

(being: Muggle-born)

the sweetest-looking boy that ever walked the corridors of Hogwarts

it doesn’t help that he loves taking care of magical creatures

always seen with a creature following him or perched on his shoulders; like his admirers, even the animals love him

unlike you, even though you like to look at them, they don’t really like you

so in Care of Magical Creatures class, you all had to touch a hippogriff

you tried to be careful but the hippogriff rose up to try to strike you

Yeosang jumped in front of you and distracted the hippogriff from you

when he succeeded, he turned to you; face full of worries

“are you alright, Y/N?”

you two had one of many classes together; everyone knew each other’s names

“yeah.. thank you Yeosang..” you were clearly upset because you truly admired these creatures but you can never get close to them

it was like Yeosang read your mind, “I could show you some tricks and tips with dealing with creatures, it’s not as hard as it seems..”

his voice was gentle the whole time; it was quite soothing

you nodded

and that was a bloom of a friendship

maybe it might be more

SAN + SLYTHERIN

(house: Slytherin)

(being: pure-blood)

excelled in all of his classes; especially alchemy

Slytherin’s top student and model student

if looks could kill, they’d belong to Mr. Choi San; he always had a stern, icy cold demeanor about him that made his admirers fantasize about him

but every time you were around him, you could catch him innocently smiling and laughing with his friends

he can’t have ANYONE just catching him when he’s showcasing emotions; this is what his parents told him

but he couldn’t help it, he really fell for you

the way you slept in class but aced all of your classes, the way you tucked your hair behind your ears when you were irritated, just everything you did made him fall more in love with you

so he confronted you; to make sure that his feelings for you was just an illusion

San puffed up his chest before calling out to you, “hey Y/N!”

but the moment you turned to face him, it was like the ray of sun that warmed up his cold, scaly heart

it was weird for someone like him to talk to you; a Muggle-born, frankly you were a little scared

not knowing what to say, he declared war on you, “you better watch out dirty-blood, don’t come crying to me for help when I get 1st on all of the classes!”

you smirked as you placed your chin on the hilt of your hand, “you can definitely come cry on my shoulders when I beat your ass AGAIN~”

maybe you both had feelings for each other

but maybe there was too much pride for either of you to admit it

MINGI + RAVENCLAW

(house: Ravenclaw)

(being: half-blood)

he’s pretty clumsy and is kind of an airhead

but he’s actually pretty smart; which is quite a switch from his personality

is a very curious student, always asking questions

the class clown; more like the cunning jester

and if he was the cunning jester; you were the ice princess

it was his goal to melt that iron heart of yours

everyday he sent you flying notes filled with riddles and puzzles; which you adored

you loved mysteries and discovering the unknown

you didn’t know who was sending you these notes

but it didn’t mattered

because you fell for the quirky, mysterious side of your secret admirer

Mingi was used to just being your secret admirer, so he really didn’t have endgame of how he was going confess to you

or even appear in front of you

that all changed when you caught him in the act; it was the moment he cast the spell and it flew straight into your hands

you both made eye-contact; for the first time, Mingi could see the warmth in your eyes

“you’re the one sending me these?” you didn’t mean to sound so cold but that’s how you talked

Mingi cowered his head, “they must’ve been annoying and a waste of your time.... I’m sorry, I’ll stop sending them..”

he turns to leaves but you grabbed him back, “wait..I.. I really have been enjoying them. I look forward to them everyday..”

Mingi turns around to see the school’s ice princess blush for the first time

maybe he should start sending them more often

WOOYOUNG + GRYFFINDOR

(house: Gryffindor)

(being: pure-blood)

the school’s sweethearted prince

looks like a bad boy but he’s quite the gentleman

you didn’t like him at first; you thought he was a pretentious, typical jock

one of the rare pure-bloods who wasn’t a Slytherin and you thought it got to his head

the Gryffindor Quidditch team always tried to get him on their team because he was basically one of the best athletes in the school

but he always declined and opted for potion making

you thought he liked making potions to use it on girls

everyone said he was nice but you thought otherwise

every time he tried to talk to you, you ignored him and walked away

it was early; you couldn’t sleep yet you were so tired so you went to the library to shake off your tiredness

you didn’t expect to see Wooyoung there

you sat as far as you could from him

he could tell that he made you uncomfortable

but he couldn’t help but notice how tired you looked

he makes his way over to you and you didn’t want to deal with him so you were packing your things

“hey.. Y/N..I know you don’t like me but you don’t look too well..” Wooyoung takes a little bottle from his bag, “it’s for tiredness.. you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to..”

you didn’t know if it was a good idea to take it or not, but you did

and with a blink of an eye, your tiredness was lifted

Wooyoung smiles to see the dark bags under your eyes disappear, “I hope you get some rest tonight..”

he shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away

knowing that the only way to get to your heart the right way

and that was with baby steps

JONGHO + HUFFLEPUFF

(house: Hufflepuff)

(being: Muggle-born)

his grandparents were wizards but both of his parents were scquibs

his parents were so ecstatic to find out that their son was a wizard

he was good at everything but he was humble about it

his teachers told him that he was one of the most talented wizard they’ve ever seen

but he didn’t want the glory of being “the most” anything

he just wanted to make his parents proud

you didn’t mean to eavesdrop on his phone call with his parents

“I could stop going to school and get a job to help with mom’s hospital bills- no, dad... just.. just gimme some time..”

Jongho ends up the phone call and meets eye-to-eye with you

you didn’t know if you should apologize or walk away

but when you saw him leave first, you held him back

“I didn’t mean to listen into your conversation.. but I can help.. with your mom’s hospital bills...”

he tried to find any hint of deception, “how do I know you’re not lying? to use me for blackmail..”

you were a pure-blooded Slytherin; by the books, you were suppose to hate his kind

but like you, he cared for his family and it didn’t mattered what house he was in and who he was

you wanted to help him; you didn’t know how fragile is heart was but you’re willing to make sure it doesn’t shatter into a billion pieces

and he was going to let you

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

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pbscore · 5 years ago

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The amount of anti-black and anti-indigenous racism that MANY white, non-Americans are exhibiting right now under the guise of ‘uwu we are making fun of the dumb Americans who are protesting to reopen things, not the poor ones lol’ is so egregious and disgusting and I’m tired of seeing it come across my dash.

I’m tired of seeing non-American white people act like they’re completely absolved of their racism just because they aren’t American.

I’m tired of seeing y’all pathologize the insane amount of innocent deaths, that are primarily black and indigenous folks who literally do not have the same access to healthcare that upper class white Americans have, caused by the carelessness of the American government (WHICH AMERICAN POC ALREADY KNOW ABOUT AND HAVE BEEN RIOTING ABOUT FOR YEARS BUT OF COURSE Y’ALL ACT LIKE YOU CAN’T SEE US DOING IT).

I’m tired of y’all trying to use the fact that some dumbass Americans (once again, primarily white Americans) act like absolute monsters towards other countries in their time of need; especially when you consider those SAME Americans are absolute demons to their own countrymen and we, people of color, know that FIRST HAND.

I’m always the first one to call out that gross bullshit because it ain’t right and I don’t support taking one person’s pain as some sorta ‘joke’ just to make me feel better.

I’m tired of seeing non-Americans act like their own countries are free of any sort of racism or xenophobia. As if any of y’all from the UK or Germany or Spain don’t have a history of persecuting folks based on arbitrary beliefs and cultures different from yours.

I’m American and I’m already tired of the bullshit we have to deal with EVERY DAY here, so y’all aren’t tellin’ me anything ‘new’ about my country by acting like absolute jackasses and talking about how ‘uwu Americans are so dumb lol’.

WHITE Americans are the ones who are constantly clamoring for reopening shit and using our, poor folks and people of color, labor for their own gain even if it kills us. We have been rioting and protesting AGAINST these people but y’all don’t wanna talk about that, huh?

Y’all just wanna focus on the ‘uwu dumb Americans’ while indigenous and black folks suffer the consequences of the upper class white folks actions that we have practically NO CONTROL over, if we want to even live to tomorrow.

Black people getting gunned down just because they’re jogging in a public park while white folks are given water bottles and face masks by police is a bit too brutal for y’all to actually engage with because it ain’t a ‘joke’ then, huh?

But what should I expect from folks who see themselves as ‘not American lol’ to be some sort of weird ass flex towards Americans, when their own countries have PLENTY of controversial racist/xenophobic shit going on?

EDIT: Yes, y’all can reblog this but if you clown on this post with some ‘uwu we’re just joking’ bs, I’m blocking you and sending you back to the circus where you belong.

#im tired #y’all are so damn annoying and full of shit that its unbelievable #the lack of compassion in the world at large is awful but im so done with non-americans (especially white non-Americans)#acting like they deserve some sort of metal for saying the most obvious shit that Americans of color have BEEN saying for years #we know americas fucked up! we know they hate us and they’re willing to sacrifice jnnocent lives for a capitalistic cause!!#WE KNOW THIS!! WHERE THE HELL HAVE Y’ALL BEEN???#racism #antiblackness #anti indigenous racism #tw death mention #white europeans are so fucking hypocritical its astounding to me lmao #if y’all clown on this post im just gonna block you #ghiblibutch

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jeidafei · 5 years ago

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D.Gray-Man Chapter 234 Translation Notes

I haven’t posted a note for many chapters, but this chapter dropped so many reveal-bombs I just can’t i just can’t aaaaaaaargh gurglegurgle

/regain composure /why am I listening to “Send In The Clowns” on loop while posting this?

Ahem. So, in short, this chapter is super LIT, but also a headache to translate. As with all reveal-heavy chapters, there is no knowing how disastrous the ramifications of one tiny misinterpretation can be on future reveals. Whoops!

So let’s peruse the story page-by-page, word-by-word, unraveling the story plus a little ramble on the Japanese language.

Warning: this post is incredibly long

(You can skip to 5 for my wild theory on The Pillar)

1. Gawd, I’ve always hated these opening captions T T

Because they always give me this feeling of I think I kinda understand what this means but I don’t know how to translate this so it makes sense!

紐解かれるかつての別離（わかれ）

I think I spent time on this one sentence even more than the rest of the chapter. Despite it being the first thing on the first page, this is honestly the last thing I translated this chapter.

Word-by-word, 紐解かれる (himo-tokareru) is the passive form of the verb 紐解く (himo-toku), which by definition means:

1) Unbinding and opening a new book 2) Unraveling (i.e. memories, history, the truth, etc.) 3) A flower blooming

紐 (himo) and 解く(toku) are also actually two separate words used normally in daily life. The first one means “rope” and the second means “to solve, to untie, to unravel etc.”

So, in essence, this word refers to something hidden, a secret being revealed. No surprises here, since we’re talking about D.Gray-Man.

かつての (katsute no) means “Once”, “Used to be” whereas 別離 (betsuri) means “parting, separation” but the furigana indicates must be read as わかれ (wakare) for some reason, and means farewell or separation as well.

I take it that as Mana and Nea were once separated by death, but now Nea has returned to Mana as he vowed to, the “farewell” is no more; it just used to be a farewell.

So now that we have all the pieces...

HOW ON EARTH DO I TRANSLATE THIS !!!???

You saw how it turned out above. To be frank, I’m still not satisfied with it, but as my period cramps are killing me and I’m literally typing this to distract my mind from it because I can’t sleep yet with this pain, and my brain is out of ideas, as always...

I’ll leave it to you guys to interpret freely!

2. Nea’s last words

Just when I thought I’d skip that troubling caption and start on the dialogue right away, manga-kun messes with me again! Who was Nea talking to? In the background, Nea is reaching up to Mana while decaying away. However, on the next page, turns out it is Cross recalling those words.

So I walked over to my bookshelf and picked up DGM volume 17 and 22.

In volume 17, in their last meeting before Cross disappeared, Cross told Allen that Nea promised him that he’d return to Mana if Cross kept watch over Mana.

In volume 22, however, Road reveals to Allen that “Don’t stop, keep walking.” were Nea’s parting words to Mana.

Um...so...which is it, exactly?

So if context doesn’t help, then should we turn back to the literal word? If it were some other language I might’ve said great idea! But this is Japanese; a douchebag of a language that assumes all parties must be native speakers and privy to the conversation beforehand. And thus omits subject, verbs, and objects whenever it pleases to screw foreign learners and outsiders alike.

Why, Nea’s sentence has no subject and object!

まってろ。必ずマナの元に行く。「アレン」が目印だ。それまでは立ち止まるな。

Literally this says “Keep waiting/Just you wait. (I will) definitely go to where Mana is. ‘Allen’ is the sign. Until then, don’t stand still.”

While Nea using Mana’s name might imply that Nea’s not talking to Mana, but to someone else, otherwise he would’ve used “you/your”. But in Japanese, usually people will refer to their convo partner by name as well, i.e. Lenalee and Allen refer to everyone by name instead of “you”. This is considered neutral and politer than the textbook pronoun “anata” (which is kinda condescending actually...so why do they still keep it in the textbooks!?).

In case you’re not that close with the person you’re talking to, and not sure which pronoun you should use, using their name is the safest bet to avoid offending them. (Don’t go calling your client omae, of course lol!)

So, back to Nea, going by this rule, he also could’ve been talking to Mana himself as well. See? Curse you, nihongo!!!

Anyway, Nea didn’t talk to Mana/Earl that way when they met in recent(? I dunno, my sense of time is already warped from too many hiatuses and hopeless waiting) chapters; Nea refers to Mana using the pronoun “anta” which is the shorter, more casual form of “anata”. And judging from his overall language, he’s not that polite or soft-spoken either, so the possibility is lower.

Also it’s kinda weird to tell someone who’s sitting right in front of you that you’ll “go to” where he is.

So, using my spidey sense plus all things considered, I finally concluded that since it’s Cross’ flashback, Nea was talking to Cross this time.

Looking back on this, I don’t know if I’d be able to translate DGM even with 50% accuracy had I not read the series from the start and have the volumes stacked on a bookshelf nearby just in case. Screw you, NIHONGO!

3. Pierrot, Clown, Auguste, Whiteface, Harlequin; What’s the difference?

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is described as a Pierrot whereas Cosimo is a Clown. As I’m not well-versed in clown traditions, I did some Googling and Wikipedia, and learned the art is even more interesting and richer than I once thought:

In this informative blog , it’s explained that while in appearance, the Pierrot and the Clown are almost the same, there is one rule that sets them apart:

The Pierrot has tear marks under his eyes, whereas the Clown does not.

The Pierrot’s tear marks:

(I just noticed Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker also has tear marks)

The blog is long and detailed and very interesting, but in short, though both the Pierrot and the Clown are supposed to make people laugh by doing foolish things, while the Clown intentionally acts foolish to be laughed at, and can also joke back at and laugh at the audience as well, the Pierrot will always have to be laughed at and made fun of by the audience.

Deep down, though the Pierrot is hurt and sad, he must act as if he’s not, to conceal it from the audience. Thus the tear marks indicates a deep, profound sadness.

(*pause to sob for Allen and Joker*)

Back to Mana, we can clearly see he has a tear mark on his right eye. But Cosimo has what looks to be a tear mark and a star under his eyes as well.

So...aren’t they both Pierrots? Grrrrrrr! DAMMIT HOSHINO!!

Anyways, moving on. I think we remember that back in Allen’s epic showdown with the Earl in Edo, this scene happened:

The Earl compares Allen to the White Clown/Clown Blanc and himself to Auguste. In classic tradition, Blanc and Auguste are often paired together, and it is said that this originates from the pairing of the Pierrot and Harlequin.

No no no obviously I’m not talking about this one lol

Ahem, back to serious-ass clown lore:

Both Blanc & Auguste and Pierrot & Harlequin are similar in that the former (Blanc and Pierrot) is more sophisticated, stern, serious and melancholic, whereas the latter (Auguste and Harlequin) is the happy, clumsy, grotesque, sometimes rude fool that does the former’s bidding, to comical results.

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is said to always be smiling and extraordinarily kind, and that he is an enchantingly elegant, beautiful clown, but when he smiles, he always looks as if he is actually crying, dying inside.

I mean, pretty much everyone has had that moment in their lives, no?

Okay, back to seriousness, again; Yes, Mana is the ultimate Pierrot, the Whiteface, the Blanc. The sad fool who must always be laughed at by the world.

And now Allen, who has taken on Mana’s personality, became the melancholic laughingstock of the world himself, constantly being pushed down and trodden on and used, but having no choice but to push on with a smile, hiding his pain deep underneath the white greasepaint.

Cue the music!

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying But I didn't see that the joke was on me. I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

(Bee Gees - I Started A Joke)

4. Great, Cosimo had a hard life too. One more confirmed-dead character I have to cry for!

I hated Cosimo. Still do. Heck, EVERYONE HATES COSIMO. I mean, until now, the guy totally has no redeeming qualities and no justifying reason behind his relentless cruelty.

But in the recent chapters, there are reveals not mentioned in LFS:

Cosimo was bought and forced to work as an errand boy, like Red, before he somehow crawled his way out and became the circus’s top performer. While drunk, Cosimo would also complain about how he was actually born a noble (this last one is also mentioned in LFS).

Imagine that. Your parents abandoned you for whatever reason (maybe he’s a bastard child?) and you ended up sold to slavery in a circus. After years of being worked to the bone and abused, you struck it big and thought you had it all, then new guy waltzes in with his stupid dog and takes your spotlight.

Heck, you don’t even have to live such a rotten life to feel bitter. In Toy Story, even brave and fair Sheriff Woody was reduced to a jealous wreck in the face of Buzz Lightyear stealing Andy’s attention from him, wasn’t he? And I think we can all relate to that. Most of us have been jealous of someone before.

Cosimo’s unforgivable actions towards Mana and Allen the Dog may have been fueled by insecurity, trauma and fear as much as jealousy. His abuse towards Red is a result of long years of being abused himself; his own way to cope.

While Red/Allen blames himself for his pain and not inflict it back upon others, Cosimo did the opposite, because everyone reacts and adapts differently. However, to be clear, both of these traits are not healthy.

There’s also the fact that Red was saved by the kindness of Allen the Dog and Mana while he is fortunately still young enough to regain faith; whereas Cosimo suffered alone all through his life, surrounded by selfish, two-faced scumbags like that guy handing out leaflets. Had things been different, who’s to say Red might not turn out the same as Cosimo?

In a nutshell, Cosimo is simply a product of his harsh environment. While I still despise him, I can’t help feeling some pity for him and understanding where all that evil had come from. I don’t believe he is inherently bad. Nobody is. Had he been raised with love, I’m sure he would have been a very different person.

5. The Pillar

I know, this is what y’all are actually here for. I mean who cares about Cosimo’s tragic life or the difference between a Pierrot and a Clown when there’s an honest-to-gods HOLY LIGHT SPLITTING THE SKY APART AND OBLITERATING THIS WHOLE WORLD FULL OF SINNERS!? And it’s even teased, like, waaaaay back in Timothy’s Arc (gawd how old was I back then?) !!

First, a recap of this chapter:

7,000 years ago, The Pillar destroyed the world (which seems pretty modern). The Noah survived and held a grudge against The Pillar for forever destroying their world, leaving them with nowhere to return to. Once they found the reborn Millennium Earl, they pretended to be his family, but instead are using him to exact revenge on The Pillar, because it is predicted the Earl will one day become The Pillar and destroy the world again. Cross however took pity on the Earl and chided Road for believing in that prophecy and causing the Earl so much misery.

Some IRL tidbits:

Hoshino-sensei revealed she traveled to Ground Zero of WTC for inspiration, now we finally get to know which scene that inspiration is for. And IMO, the instant obliteration coming out of nowhere on one fine day, the Pillar etching a line from sky to ground amidst the pile of rubble, reminds me of the A-bomb’s mushroom cloud over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. And we all know which country Hoshino-sensei comes from, right? Could there be a link?

Now, my personal analysis (or rather, pointless rant with no answers coming out whatsoever):

This chapter both confirms, clarifies and also debunks important things we have believed from our time with the Order, listening to the Order’s side of the story.

1) In the very beginning, Komui tells Allen about the previous end of the world 7,000 years ago. The Bible calls it “The Great Flood”. The Cube calls it “The Three Days of Darkness.” However, we now learn it is neither rainy nor dark. Nope, one day all of a sudden, a blindingly bright shaft of light struck down from the sky, and The Capitol suddenly became The Scorch. How did it achieve that? No clue!

2) Komui tells Allen that the end of the world was caused by a war between the wielders of Innocence and the Earl + the Noah Family, and the ensuing flood that destroyed the world scattered the Innocence around the world.

However, in this chapter, we learned there was no war. There was no flood. Just the Pillar that appeared suddenly one day. And surprise, the Noah Family hated The Pillar for destroying their beloved world, their only home (wait, aren’t they supposed to hate the Innocence?).

Yet now the Noah are working with the Earl, who wants to destroy the new world and would someday become the Pillar and destroy the new world too? Yet Cross says they’re just using him for all this time?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

My super duper wild theory is that since 1) The Earl is the Pillar-in-Making, 2) The Noah show hatred for The Pillar as much as they do for the Innocence, 3) The Pillar, like Innocence, could trigger their Noah Memory to threaten to swallow them, then it’s kinda implied that;

Mana = The Millennium Earl = The Pillar = The Heart of Innocence

And the Noah, knowing this all along and wanting to prevent the end of the world from happening again, tricked the Millennium Earl into thinking they’re helping him fulfill his raison d'être of Harbinger of the End of The F***ing World (sorry, another reference, heh), not telling him that he’s actually the Heart of Innocence itself, watch him go after Exorcists he suspects are the Heart, and gleefully accept his orders to kill those Exorcists looking for the Heart, in order to prevent the Black Order from ever getting the Earl aka the Heart on their side.

They also let the Earl create legions of Akuma to fight the Exorcists and destroy all the Innocence shards, literally using the Earl to destroy himself, keeping him away from his true allies, chipping away at his lifeline one shard at a time, like Harry crushing Voldemort’s horcruxes one by one, not knowing he’s a Horcrux himself. Until finally, when there is nothing left but the greatly weakened Heart with no army to protect it, then will the Noah have the chance to defeat it once and for all.

And of course while they keep the Earl busy searching for the Heart, old man will never pause and think hmmm, maybe I am the Heart?

Perhaps this is why Wisely said that all humans who have awoken into Noah will accept their duty once they learned of Noah’s mission. Since Noah’s mission now seems to be preventing the end of the world at the hands of Innocence, which I take as God’s power, and God’s weapon for “cleansing” the world whenever he deems it too sinful.

After all, we have seen the horrors Innocence can do, the lengths Innocence will go to punish people it judged to have sinned. Innocence is said to be a crystallization of God, and like God, it has been foreshadowed numerous times to have that ruthless, merciless, unforgiving streak within it that could alienate even Allen himself.

Anyway, I typed this one without checking the earlier volumes that much. I expect there will be several loopholes, so be sure to point out any inaccuracies and also please, please do let me know what you guys think of these reveals as well! I’d love to hear differing theories!

Other tidbits

The Garvey Troupe, not Garbeigh. Sorry, everyone. Phonetically, Japanese does not have the “v” sound. Nowadays, you can write it out by adding the mark on the ウ (u) letter like this: ヴ, but most words would still transliterate it to the “b” sound, and most Japanese people will still have trouble pronouncing the “v” sound properly anyway. For example, “Violin” could be written both as (v)ヴァイオリン or (b)バイオリン, and most people would pronounce it like the latter.

Do you think Road’s memories of the End of the World has anything to do with Lenalee and Allen’s shared dream of the End of the World as well? Though Lenalee’s nightmare features the Black Order in ruins and not the modern skyscrapers of Road’s.

So Cross knew Nea and Mana from childhood!? I’ve always thought he met Nea by chance when they are grownups and he was forced to do Nea’s bidding. Interesting!!

So, that’s it for this chapter! Phew! That was uber long. Thank you so much for bearing with me this far. Hit me up in comments!

#dgm #d gray #d gray man #d gray man 234

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bronskiibeat · 4 years ago

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Secrets Scared

Hello, this is a prompt fill, long time coming! Got a bit long, and I got a bit thinky. Requested by @catharrington Words: 2816 “Oh? Really? You thought we had a future? What gave you that idea.” (might have taken a little liberty with the phrasing though!) Thanks to the advice given by folks on this before I posted it, I’ve learned a lot. x

TW for: fighting, violence, abusive/toxic relationship.

Read on AO3 here!

-x-

Steve wasn’t really sure why Billy insisted on the act. He knew the kind of trouble they’d both be in if it got out Steve Harrington was going with Billy Hargrove. But when it came to these people, the ones who had scooped Steve out of a Russian secret base, the one’s who had fought tooth and nail to keep Billy from being destroyed by the mind flayer, Steve didn’t know why they needed to keep up the act. He was pretty sure the kids knew, maybe even Joyce, who was sometimes painfully perceptive over dinner that Steve felt she might have some mind reading powers of her own. Other than a few comments about how Steve preferred hanging out with Billy now rather than them, or Joyce asking both Steve and Max if Billy wanted to join them for dinner, nobody said anything.

Until Dustin opened his huge ungodly mouth. “Steve!” Came the scream from the other side of the road, “Your boyfriend is here!”

Billy had heard, Steve could tell that from where he was smoking with Hopper on the porch, listening to the kids engage in some convoluted game across the road in the woods, as far as Hopper would let El go alone. He could tell Billy had heard Dustin because instead of his boyfriend calling his sister home, a cloud of rage with Billy’s face was wafting towards him across the drive, ire burning the front wisps of his hair.

Steve wanted to do something to alleviate the sudden increase in air pressure, so decided on shouting back to Dustin. “He’s not my boyfriend dickweed!”

Hopper cleared his throat, like an awkward uncle at a Christmas Party, stubbing out his cig to step inside. “Just need to ask Joyce about next week.” He said as he excused himself. So much for none of them knowing Steve thought to himself helplessly.

Before Steve could have another sensible thought, he was being lifted out of his chair, to land against the wall of the house, his head knocking back with a thud. Billy’s hands on his collar pushing him up higher than he could comfortably manage without having to push himself up onto his toes. “Billy?” He asked, eyes going wide as he took in the man before him. A face completely unfamiliar to Steve was staring back, the Billy he’d got so used to spending his days with was gone, replaced with the boy who had nearly killed him here last year.

Fear took over his confusion as this all registered like a feather sinking through lead, the thought that maybe he was back, it was open, quickly erased by Billy’s tight growl. “What the fuck have you told them?” He asked through gritted teeth. “Nothing, fuck Billy. Nothing!” Steve replied, grabbing at Billy’s wrists, as if that would make him let go in itself.

“Then why does Henderson think you’re my boyfriend?” He asked, pulling Steve’s collar higher for effect. He’d been through too many emotions to pick one that made sense, so Steve fell into what he knew the best: clowning. He smirked, eyebrows raised in challenge, “Well maybe because you are sweetcheeks.” He replied.

Humour didn’t carry him far and Steve had to choose another emotion quickly, red nose being knocked off by Billy pulling him closer only to shove him back into the house. “Billy, what the fuck?” He hissed, eyes glancing past him to see if the kids were around. “What. Did. You. Tell. Them.” Billy ground out, face millimetres from Steve’s own, the rage radiating from him catching, something equally hot now rising in Steve’s chest.

“Nothing. Maybe if we’d both said something to them they wouldn’t be speculating like they are now!” Steve snapped, having enough of being manhandled, pulling Billy’s arms off his shirt and pushing him forward to step around him to get some space.

“I can’t!” Billy shouted, making to grab Steve again, who dodged it and shoved him away roughly, putting a good couple of feet between them.

“Yes you can!” Steve replied as they stood watching each other, like two dogs circling, scoping out what was going to happen next. Steve stepped away again so his words would have space to come out, “Those kids keep bigger secrets already, you having a boyfriend is not gonna be a stitch on the fact one of them has magic powers.” He straightened his roughed-up shirt and ran fingers through his hair, “You’re just too scared.” He finished.

Steve was aiming for some sort of reassurance, but saw it land as mocking as Billy lunged towards him. It was as if they’d not spent a year together at all, Steve’s truths falling on deaf ears.

Having known Billy for a good few years now, and intimately so for the last one of those, Steve knew how Billy fought, all fists and big swings. So as Billy threw his whole weight behind his fist he grabbed hold of his arms, grappling to keep him from landing a hit. Steve always fought defensively, instead pushing and blocking rather than going in on Billy the way Billy seemingly wanted to on him, elbows and knees digging in where they could manage, hands still held mostly immobile by Steve. “Just fucking calm down!” Steve snapped as he held his boyfriend as still as he could manage. One of Billy’s knees pressing in his thigh made him let do and thump the other boy in the chest to be able to push him back and take a breath, hoping the other boy was done with his outburst. Steve and Billy were both used to a bit of roughhousing, they were a pair of 19 year olds after all, it would be weird if there wasn’t a bit of scrapping now and then. It always ended civilly, a grown-up conversation following the initial release of any pent-up emotions. They grappled, and pushed and pulled and tugged and grabbed, then talked and hugged and went about their lives. But this wasn’t happening on their own time, in their own house, and the fact they were here, at Joyce’s, with the kids just over the road, it was pushing anxiety round and round Steve’s chest.

“I’m scared?!” Billy shouted, voice cracking with something Steve didn’t have chance to work out, “Look at you! Fight back!” A fist met Steve’s nose then, sending the taste of blood to Steve’s mouth, and surprise up to his brain. He hadn’t expected that, other than that one time where Max saved his ass, Billy had never thrown a punch to land like that and it hurt, and not just his nose. Steve heard Billy still shouting, the words their own blows as he stumbled back to hit the side of the deck, worried for a moment he might fall off and smash his head. He felt like was walking on jello, his brain sloshing from side to side in his head like his skull was filled with water, he wasn’t sure his face hurt enough to warrant that response, the shock of actually being hit apparently having a lot to answer for.

Another voice brought him back to reality, it was Hopper. “Johnathan!” Came the shout. Steve thought that was weird, Johnathan had been inside making bread, he’d not just punched him in the face. As if Hopper’s voice had summoned the image of Byers, his field of vision was suddenly filled with Johnathan, snapping him back to his sense, fighting to get free from where Byers was holding him, suddenly finding the fight to get at Billy so he could give as good as he’d just gotten. “I hate you!” He shouted irrationally, pointing an accusing finger at Billy over Johnathan’s shoulder. The Billy who was seemingly doing the same from behind Hopper.

---

Things had simmered, by simmered Steve meant since Hopper had thrown Billy into the shed and given him a piece of his mind and Joyce had forced Steve to sit on the sofa so she could clean his face and press some frozen peas on his nose. The kids had all gone home with Johnathan, El and Will were quietly drawing in his room at the back of the house.

Joyce was looking at him with those eyes, the ones she somehow only reserved for when Steve had his face kicked in. He knew she knew about him and Billy, and of anyone in his entire world, even more than Robin, he trusted her with it. He had the sudden need to say something, to acknowledge it. “Joyce?” His voice sounded so unfamiliar.

“Yeah honey?” “I love Billy.” He whispered, unexpected tears prickling at his eyes.

She smiled sadly, dropping herself to sit in the chair opposite, leaning her arms forward onto her knees. “I know you do Steve. But is this good?” She asked, eyebrows pointing to Steve’s nose that had just stopped bleeding. Joyce admitting she knew Steve loved Billy touched something raw in his chest and the tears in his eyes freed themselves, heading down his cheeks as he considered her question.

“This has only ever happened here.” He finally answered, a short wet laugh coming with the words, “And never since we’ve been going together, really since… it happened.” Now he’d spoken he felt the need to keep going. “He’s so scared of his dad finding out. He won’t… he won’t even tell Max because he so afraid.” He said, gaze reserved for his wringing hands.

Joyce nodded, recognising Steve’s need to just talk it out. “I can help you with that, both of you, whatever you need, you can come to me.” She said seriously, an expression Steve saw directed his way so infrequently but knowing each word was meant hard.

His attention was drawn to the back door opening, Billy stepping through ahead of Hopper. He looked as much of a state as Steve did. His nose wasn’t bloodied the way Steve was, but his eyes were red with tears, his cheeks stained with the tracks they’d taken down his cheeks. Hopper’s hand was at the back of his neck guiding him into the room.

Hopper cleared his throat, looking to Joyce for a quick eye contact conversation before pushing Billy gently towards Steve. “Mr Hargrove has something he’d like to say to you Steve.” He said before letting go and stepping outside. Joyce stood too, Steve’s eyes following her. Her eyebrows asked ‘You okay with me going?’, to which Steve replied with a nod, turning his attention to his socked feet, unable to bring his gaze round to Billy. Billy waited until they were alone before crossing the room, pointing at the sofa beside Steve. “Can I?” “No.” Steve said quietly, shaking his head and feeling pathetic for it, but hoping Billy would understand. He pointed at the chair Joyce had vacated, indicating Billy could sit there. Especially since the incident with the Russians, but really if he thought about it even before that, Steve would keep his personal space his own, not used to people wanting to invade it or touch him. Much less when he was already feeling vulnerable, he’d spoken to Billy about it before, when they were just starting to be friends, each with their respective Starcourt trauma to negotiate before they could even consider each other. But he knew Billy got it, he couldn’t stand to be touched then either, memories of it making it impossible for them to even lean up against each other on the sofa. But things had got better since then, they’d gotten used to the touch of one another, hands holding, feet meeting on the sofa, they were comfortable with each other now.

Steve remembered all this as he forced Billy to sit away from him, so they weren’t touching, so there was a couple of feet between them. Billy dropped his head down to his shoulder to wipe his eyes, slouching into the chair and pushing a foot along the carpet to be as close to Steve as he could manage without upsetting him. “I fucked up there really didn’t I?” He asked, not really expecting an answer, so not being disappointed when he didn’t get one. Steve’s gaze was still reserved for his own feet but Billy’s had entered the frame and he pushed his own to sit next to it, not touching but as close as.

Steve blew his cheeks out, his wet diverted eyes betraying any hope he had that he might be putting up a cold icy front to put Billy off. “Oh you think?”

“Stevie look at me.” That name, it was always that name, Steve swiped at his eyes angrily, but meet Billy’s gaze.

“I’m so sorry. I freaked out.” Billy started in apology.

Steve shrugged his shoulders, eyes dropping again. “You punched me. In the face.” He murmured, voice carrying not only the hurt but the anger that he’d put that trust between them and Billy had shit on it.

“I know, I feel shit. Hop said… Hop said I shouldn’t let…” He stopped to growl deep in his throat, the fear he was struggling to articulate paralysing him from being able to. Steve’s foot gently poked Billy’s, pushing him to say it. “He said I shouldn’t channel my fear towards you.” He finished quietly.

Steve nodded, pulling his knees up onto the sofa, wrapping his arms around them to sit comfortably, as small as he could make himself.

“Then why did you? In what world was that dramatic overreaction going to make anything better?” He asked, the fire in his eyes directed now to Billy’s, demanding explanation. “You could have just asked me, like a normal person.”

“I was so…” Scared, they both thought, Steve knew Billy well enough to know what he wanted to say. “If those kids found out, and it got back to my dad. Fuck Steve I’d be dead. We would both be dead.” He finished quietly, his gaze locked with Steve’s.

“Those kids keep more secrets than even you know about Billy. Big secrets.” Steve replied. “I get that you were worried about your dad, but you could have gone about it so differently.”

“I know, in the future I need to think before just freaking out.” He said, and Steve could hear Hopper’s words in there, knowing this was knowledge Billy had had drilled into him in the half hour since the Chief had dragged him off kicking and screaming.

Steve frowned, Joyces’s words from earlier in his head, is this good? “You think we have a future? After that stunt? What gave you that idea?” Fuck, just saying that hurt. He couldn’t imagine how it felt to hear those words, he watched Billy carefully, his own tears again sliding their ways surreptitiously out of his eyes.

Billy’s gaze that had been focussed on anything but Steve, but he was suddenly completely focussed on watching Steve, who was crying silently. “What, Steve what do you mean?” Steve shrugged his shoulders, in all honesty he didn’t know what he meant. He was hurt, his pride was bruised, and on reflection his words sounded like a break up. But he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted either. “I don’t know, okay. You’ve really fucked up, I can’t… you can’t expect an apology to just fix this.” He pressed his toes into the inside of Billy’s foot again, thinking about what he wanted to say.

“When we fight, it’s never…” He pushed out a frustrated breath. “It’s never this” he gestured to his nose, “it’s just banter, bit of stress relief, nobody gets hurt, but smacking my nose so hard it bleeds, not cool. I’m…” He squeezed his eyes shut, what was he. “I’m fucking angry. You’ve shit on the trust we’d built.” He finished sadly, pressing his face into his knees.

Billy swallowed, he wanted nothing more than to cross the space between them and wrap his arms around Steve and tell him it would be okay, but instead he quietly offered the words that so infrequently crossed his lips. “I’m so sorry Stevie.”

Steve didn’t move, not counting his shoulders that were pulling in shaking breaths to try and steady himself, to try and get some coherent thoughts into his brain to work out how they could make this better.

“Do you want me to go?” Billy asked, standing up where he was.

“No, no. I… I wanna go home.” He said gently, pulling his red rimmed eyes up to meet Billy’s, to show that he was trying.

Billy stood awkwardly, “Do you want to drive? I can drive you? Hopper would take you?” He stumbled on his words, something so rare with Hawkins’ Man with the Attitude that Steve was a little surprised. “Would you?” Steve asked hopefully, brown eyes meeting blue, igniting hope in those eyes too.

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georgeluzwarmhugs · 4 years ago

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But I Won You

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a while but when Giana requested it I just knew I had to do this. sorry this took so long again but goofy babe is my favorite babe. i’m really bad at describing clothes so bare with me in the first part, also sorry this is so short i might make a part two though👀 I don’t really like how this turned out buttt

requested by: @liebegott

no prompt, just goofy babe

send requests my way! message me to be on the taglist<3

wc: 799

summary: You and Babe go out for a mini-golf date. That’s it :)

taglist: @liebegott @floydtab @band-of-bitches @speirs-sexy-ass @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @wexhappyxfew @alienoresimagines

hope you all enjoy reading this💓

"Hey babe, are you ready yet?” he yelled up the stairs, holding onto the post, balancing on one leg. He was trying to poke his head up and around to see if the bathroom door was open or closed. He shook his hand in imitation of Winters to check his leather watch. 6:30 PM. His loafers were shiny black, he had cleaned them himself that same day. The jeans barely covered his ankles, so you could see the tiny amount of white sock peeking through. He was wearing a green, soft t-shirt that had a light pattern. He brought a black corduroy jacket with a soft sherpa interior for you, he knew how cold you can get.

“That’s your name silly, anyways it’s not like we have reservations”, you loudly replied. You were almost finished with your makeup and hair, already dressed in the outfit you picked for tonight. You had a blue and pink floral shirt that fit perfectly to the curves of your body. That was tucked into a white, stretchy pencil skirt, and you wore a black sandal with a small heel.

Your makeup was basic: foundation, highlight, mascara, eyeliner, and a little bit of blush. You didn’t use any eye shadow, you knew the black of the mascara and the eyeliner brought out your eyes perfectly. You loosely braided your hair the night before, so it had the wavy look you were looking for. You left all of it down, but put a blue head scarf in, like a headband, to push the front hairs out of your face. The blue of the head scarf matched the blue in the shirt. You had bought it in honor of Renée, the nurse Gene talked about all the time. Babe and Gene still had their halves of the original. Gene talked so highly of her, you wanted her to be remembered.

“Yeah, yeah, well hurry up my love”, he emphasized, making sure you heard that he didn’t call you babe.

“One more second, Philly boy” you smartly remarked as you smoothed out the tiny wrinkles from your skirt.

As you walked down the stairs, Babe’s head perked up and he looked at you with love-filled eyes, like you were Cinderella, like it was the first time he was seeing you.

“Do you need a bib to clean up all that drool, huh?” you teased, which you loved to do. You loved they way he tried to snap back, but you always one. You’re the sassy one, every man of easy knew that. Babe, Gene and a few others are the only ones that have ever seen your sensitive, soft side, and you liked it that way.

“You’re just so, wow.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s get going then.” You ran out the front door, daring him to chase you. He scraped his feet across the ground, like he was revving up. He ran with his arms out, trying to grab you and pull you in. You ran towards the mini-gold course, leading him to your date without him knowing it. You were both laughing hysterically. He grabbed you and pulled into piggyback ride.

“We’re here.” You said as you radiated confidence in winning this game. “I hope your ego doesn’t get too crushed when I beat your ass.”

“Why are you so mean?” he pouted as his bottom lip popped out. He barely made it 30 seconds before a smile formed on his face and he let out a giggle.

“Shut up and get some clubs, I’ll get the balls.”

“Yeah, right”, he smirked over at you and shook his head.

“I hate you” you pushed him and he stumbled a little bit.

“Nooooo you don’t, gimme a kissss.”

“Okay fine, just one and then we play.” You leaned over and gave him a tiny little peck on the cheek. You grabbed the red club and a blue ball, and Babe picked a yellow ball.

You played through the holes with the obstacles and sand pits. You couldn’t stop thinking about how this was the most fun you’ve had with him in a long time. The way he let loose and was super goofy it made you smile. He’s always so stressed about work and you and keeping his friends happy, he forgets to take care of himself. You loved seeing him having fun.

“Y’know if I make this in three or less, I win Babe.” You were cocky, you knew you could easily get the a hole in one. You took a swing and got it in the clown’s mouth first try. You acted nonchalant, leaned on your club with your shoulder and said “told ya.”

“Well I may have lost the game, but I won something way better.”

“And what might that be?”

“You, stupid.”

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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years ago

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21. Part 2

Placing my bag on the table in my kitchen, everyone is ever so quiet, not a word is being spoken. They know I didn’t know want them here, I said to it to them. Especially Keeis, I said for him that he can have his bitch in this home but nobody else, there is a shift that has happened now, they were laughing but not anymore, maybe it is me. I am angry, I just feel like I want to beat a nigga up. Turning around slowly, looking around the room. They are all staring at me “you had a good holiday with Royalty?” Keeis asked, I want to fucking beat his ass “I want every bitch out of my home” I said, I don’t care who they are “what did I do? I literally been sat here and even cleaned your home” Krista said “if I wanted a maid I would have paid for one, don’t fucking piss me off, get the fuck out” not only did I have to leave Robyn, now I got these fucking idiots here. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, seeing the caller ID “what’s up?” I answered the call from Ant, he ain’t called me in a while “heard you was back bro, where you been? You want me to come up?” pulling a face “uh nah, I am good. I just came back now; I need to sleep and whatever” which I do “sleep? Chris you don’t sleep, anyways. I have a little something for you, Drake got his album coming out, he lost your number and he is asking for you to get on the track, I heard the beat. Perfect for you, come down. I said for him to wait until you come back, I honestly feel like this song will be a good one. Two legends coming together again” I sighed out “I am going to sleep, so I am good with that” I am being deadass with it too “don’t be fucking stupid Chris, everyone talking about how you dumped your son in Germany and took Royalty to Mexico, you look bad. Drake need you on a track, fucking grow up nigga. He is paying well too, come over” he put the phone down, it is just a song and I suppose it would be good money.

I don’t like this home; I just feel bad vibes from it. From police raids, orgies, drugs, it’s just a mess and I don’t like it. I went to my bedroom and there was some peace there, but I don’t like the vibe, but I need to go and meet up with Drake in the studio now. Walking down the steps “I’m going now, and Krista if I see you here I will fucking drag you out myself” seeing TJ doing whippets on my couch, I sighed out shaking my head. I am stuck between being in my home alone or having these here and I am not winning in this. I would go to my mother’ home but she will question me and talk shit so I can’t be bothered “Keeis” walking over to him “what’s up?” he said “you think I am a joke, like when I speak to you am I just a fucking joke to you?” I asked “nah” his ass is on some shit, he is always fucking high “right” standing next to him, staring at him in annoyance balling my fist up. I punched Keeis in the stomach, which was a low blow and winded him, his girlfriend screamed out. Keeis fell forward “seeing as nobody listens to me, I said get out. All of you” staring at them, I am being deadass. I rather be alone actually, I can’t deal with the drugs in my home anymore, it’s just throwing my urges to my face “you punched your own cuz? Chris what the fuck?” Hood said, staring at Hood and he knows I am being deadass with this.

Watching from the cameras, they left finally but they think I am a crackhead, an unhappy one but I’m not, I just wanted them to go and get out of here away from me. They left their mess here, it’s like they only listened when I had to act in violence which sucks but whatever. Robyn hasn’t even got to London yet; I am missing her like crazy already but I don’t want to trigger her again and she is crying so I will just keep it to myself. Now I need to find out about car shipping, I want to send one of my cars, maybe two to London because then I can drive my own cars there, I mean I sound crazy because they may tell me to go but I doubt it, then again I don’t. Looking down at my phone ringing in my hand “Robb” I wonder if he is calling to talk to me or was it Keeis crying down the phone “hey cuz, Keeis said you punched him? Why? We family, he ain’t like the people you hang with” raising an eyebrow “you don’t call me, and you call me for this? How about you ask Keeis, I told him to keep niggas out of my home and he invites them, like you no good nigga calling me for that, get off my nuts bruh” disconnecting the call, I now know that my family will assume I am having a breakdown when that is wrong, I am just done with it.

Watching Mijo walk over to my Bentley, he is laughing and I don’t know why, I thought I would come and pick up Mijo and take him with me, see what is good with him “I was like who the fuck is this dark skinned nigga, you turned into a dark skinned nigga, wow” dapping him as he sat in my car “well Mexico was hot, you should see Royalty, she worse then me” placing my phone in the middle panel smiling “good hearing you after so long, I called you but then you didn’t pick up. I saw you was on holiday with Royalty, you know how good that is to see!? You took little queen on holiday; I loved the pictures too. Family first, you know that” nodding my head “yeah, thanks for coming with me to the studio. I kicked out the OHB niggas you hate, I am just done bro. I am done with that life, I am sick of it. The drugs, I ain’t had that shit for weeks. Can you tell?” looking at Mijo smiling “you look happier, I can see it” he nodded, I sighed out “and I clocked some shit right, I read your post. And it read really rubbish feeling bih. And I was like huh, so I am reaching but then shade room comes on my feed and are clocking shit saying r is for Rihanna, so I am like Robyn Rihanna Fenty? So now I am like huh? Nigga, you did that shit on purpose” Mijo and I both looked at my phone that is now ringing, he gasped and so did I, like I didn’t know I have her number “noooo?” he said, picking my phone up from the side “nooo” he said again, answering the call “hello shawty, you get there?” she should by now “we’re going to land now, I just thought I would tell you because it’s late and you should be asleep” she is right I should be “I will be going to sleep but I need to go to the studio. Let me know when you’re in bed” I want to know every moment “were them idiots there?” she asked “of course, I punched Keeis but I will tell you this tomorrow. I need to go inside” Robyn groaned out “that is no good Chris, ok. I miss you already” smiling lightly “I miss you too, love you” I wish I were with her.

Mijo doesn’t know if to laugh or what, he is in shock “that was Rihanna, like what? Uh, no!” his face dropped “no fucking way, no Chris. Oh my god!” Mijo shouted out jumping in the seat “what?” I said ever so innocently, Mijo placed his hand over his mouth like he is holding in a scream. What is wrong with him, is he ok “Chris?” he moved his hands back “what?” is he dumb “I have worked it out, I know you fucking assholes! I know you both so much, oh my god. She is pregnant, and I know you. You both had sex at the party, she is pregnant, you are the dad and you put this shady picture of a ring. You eloped with her! Rihanna is being shady with who the dad is oh my fucking god!” I had to laugh, because he does know us “you kick my car anymore I will have to kick you out” Mijo is too excited “I am just fucking siked!” he shouted, I didn’t even need to say shit “so tell me, am I wrong?” he said, I shook my head smiling “but you can’t tell a soul Mijo, I am ditching Cali and going to London. I came here to take care of some stuff” I was not expecting this reaction from him, my face softened “are you crying?” I said “fucking happy for you, you two idoits! You go Chris, don’t look back. Hear me? Don’t fucking look back, I was scared I would lose you” Mijo grabbed the back of my neck “you don’t let a fucking clown ruin this, or anyone. You go to London and be the dad you are, you do it!” he pointed at me “I am happy for you, nobody fucking knows you like I do” Mijo got me choked up here now.

Getting out of the car, we got to the studio eventually “come here, my nigga fucking did that” Mijo attacked me in a bear hug “yo” I said laughing as he hugged me “I fucking saw the post, I just started adding shit together. I fucking know you both Chris! I ain’t dumb” patting his back letting a sob out, I just thought Mijo would also have shit to say because nobody is ever happy for me “fucking crazy shit but happy for you, you go there and you get the life you deserve. You deserve the happiness ok” Mijo moved back “nigga, I got my family now. I want you to have your family, I ain’t here for that shit anymore. I see you drugged up, I hate that. I had to leave you, I had to go away for my kids. You know how happy I am to be sat on the couch with my kids jumping on me and baby mother there? Happy as fuck, I tried that shit and I was close to losing it. Maleah needed me, and I needed her. My son is a cool nigga but he also needs the right path. Now it’s your time, I want to thank Riri man, that fool don’t know what she done. That hurt me, you were so lost. I want you to go, don’t fucking look back at those niggas!” wiping the tears that fell nodding my head “I didn’t think you would be happy for me, you was so negative about the party, you was just not happy about us you know” I said because he really wasn’t “I didn’t want her to play with your mind because you was already a fucked up mess Chris, I was scared for you because you get crazy lost but this!? Wow, you both did it, you did it without a care both of you. I knew it” Mijo ain’t stupid, he does know us “so you legit going to just run to her yeah?” nodding my head “I am straight moving without anyone knowing, Robyn will be the one to announce it, and then everyone will find out but you know now. Royalty knows, she was there for the day. I have pictures” digging into my pocket “wow! Little queen knew before me? I understand, I am so fucking hype. Like this is what you needed” opening my photos, and it’s the first picture to come up “this is us” turning the picture to him “oh wow, look at Rih yo. She looks well, I mean wow” I grinned “that’s my wife, I am happy. I am just sad that I miss her but I am happy. Appreciate you bro, I am sorry for being a dickhead with you” I have been a dickhead to Mijo, I haven’t been here for him as a friend but when I call he is here for me.

Dapping Ant as I made it to the studio session, I just want to get it over with and then I can go back home “you are glowing” he said, nodding my head laughing “well, it’s that holiday glow. Royalty loved it there” walking into the studio seeing Drake’ people, to be honest it is full of his people but it doesn’t bother me, we don’t have no issues now, we are cool with each other but I hate that nigga still, he wants to use me, I can use him too. He a whole goof “my nigga Chris” dapping Drake and then he hugged me “I lost your number; I text Ant for it. I am sorry but you’re here, I am very happy you are here. I heard this song and I said it would be perfect for you” he talks too much “cool” walking off to sit down, I didn’t tell Robyn about this because it’s not relevant and also she don’t need to know right now, she won’t care about it anyways. Sitting down on the couch “let’s hear it then” I said to him, Mijo sat next to him “you looking good breezy, happy? Is it the new cologne, I don’t know it’s something about you” Drake pointed laughing, this nigga is weird at times, but he is a whole goof I guess.

Staring at Drake and then looked at Mijo, he doesn’t know what to say and I have to keep my calm “what you think?” Drake asked, hearing his verse makes me want to punch him in the throat “uhm” rubbing the top of my head “don’t you think that is like a low blow, I mean who cares about Rihanna right?” why do I sound like the logical one here “Drake been tasting his tears from the amount of times he been crying that much, we had to ask him are you the dad. Shit, he ain’t the dad” one of his friends said “but you blatantly made a diss song because you’re upset, I ain’t going to be involved in that” shaking my head “it’s not a diss song, I love Rihanna I do but she played us, she plays everyone. She uses me, and then get pregnant by some random person and has the nerve to hide like anyone cares, she didn’t even clear up the rumours that I wasn’t the dad, I wish I was but that is not the point. She is a bitch, she played petty with me. I am too, and that isn’t the song, I just wanted you to hear it” I can do this, I am not going to let nobody stop me with this “right” I breathed out “Drake, you know Rihanna think she above everyone but she still be running to you. She thinks she a bad bitch, but came to you” they are massaging his ego “you invited me to a Rihanna hate club? You set me up or some shit? I ain’t fucking with this” getting up from the couch “she dogged you out too Chris, you telling me you haven’t?” I need to go, I shouldn’t have came to this shit in the first place. Side eyeing Ant as I left the room, I am being so calm right now but he deadass clowning my wife that she is a whore and a single mother, he called my child fatherless “I am proud of you” Mijo said behind me, I am really trying to remain calm.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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trashcanmarvelfan · 5 years ago

Text

(Stand-Up) Routines and (Engagement) Rings

Summary: 2 years after the events of IT: Chapter Two, Richie brings Eddie out during one of his stand-up performances in order to ask a Very Important Question.

Warnings: Lots of F-bombs (like seriously there’s 1 for less than every 100 words or something but let’s face it, our gay little balls of sunshine can’t say anything without swearing)

Word Count: 2300-ish.

Author’s Note: The Reddie Fix-it Future Fic no one asked for. :) Enjoy!

CROSS-POSTED ON AO3

Richie Tozier paced back and forth backstage in the theatre at the Venetian Resort as his manager watched him. “I don’t know if I can do this,” Richie muttered.

“Don’t worry, everything is gonna go smoothly,” Brian replied. “You’ll do great. Here.” He handed Richie a glass of what looked like vodka on the rocks.

Richie took a sip and grimaced. “What the fuck is this?”

“Black cherry Vitamin Water,” Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie’s childhood best friend and boyfriend of two years, replied from behind him. “You need to stay hydrated and get your vitamins in. This is the last stop of your tour, I’m not going to let you get sick right when you get a break to come home.”

Richie grumbled but took another sip as Eddie moved in front of him. The things I do for love, he thought.

He could tell Eddie was scrutinizing his outfit. Richie had chosen dark-washed jeans, a black T-shirt, and an olive green suit jacket for his performance this evening.

Eddie brushed some imaginary lint off of Richie’s jacket before giving him a quick kiss. “You look great, babe.”

“Thanks,” Richie replied. His pocket buzzed and he pulled his phone out. He had a text from his & Eddie’s friend Ben. We’re here and in our seats.

Thank fuck, Richie thought, sending a quick k in response. He was glad that the rest of the Losers Club had made it to Las Vegas. Tonight was an extra-special performance – Not only was this the final show in Richie’s “Off the Rails” tour, tonight was the night that he would… Well. Richie would think about that when the time came so he wouldn’t make himself even more nervous.

The lights dimmed. “Showtime,” Eddie said, taking Richie’s glass from him and giving him one more brief kiss. “Knock ‘em dead, Rich.”

Richie took one more deep breath as he was announced.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier!

Richie stepped out on stage, waved at the audience, and grabbed the microphone. “What’s up, Las Vegas?” he greeted with a smile. “You guys feeling good?”

He grinned at the audience’s reply of cheers and hoots.

“It’s so fucking great to be here with all of you. At least now I’m not the only drunk one in the room.”

He grinned at the audience’s laughter. Interacting with his audience and making them laugh always helped calm him down, so he hoped tonight would be the same.

He continued through his act until he got to the final bit, where he usually talked about his & Eddie’s relationship.

“Alright, so I’m gonna get serious for a moment. As a lot of you probably know, I came out as gay a few years ago. Turns out all the dick jokes I made over the years were not only because I am a dick, but also because I like dick.”

He paused as the audience laughed. Here comes the surprise. “So yeah, anyway, I’ve been out for a few years now and it’s been nice not having to hide my relationship with my boyfriend. He’s here tonight, actually, you guys want to meet him?”

He turned to the wings. Eddie was staring at him like he’d grown an extra head. What the fuck are you doing, he mouthed.

Richie grinned and gestured for Eddie to join him onstage. Come on, Eduardo, get your cute ass out here. “Aww, he’s being shy. Come on, babe, it’s ok.” He turned back to the audience. “He might need a little encouragement. Ladies and gentlemen, my boyfriend Eddie.”

The audience burst into applause and cheers. Richie could hear the rest of the Losers in the front row cheering, “WOO, YEAH EDDIE!”

After what seemed like an eternity Eddie finally stumbled onstage, where a stagehand ran out and handed him a mic. Richie suspected that Eddie had actually been pushed onstage, but the important thing was that he was actually out there.

Eddie gave Richie a look that said, you are in so much fucking trouble when we get back to the hotel tonight. “What’s up, fuckwad?” he said instead.

Richie laughed along with the audience.

“So yeah, everyone, this charming fellow here is my boyfriend, Eddie,” he explained. “We’ve been together for 2 years now but were best friends growing up, so we’ve known each other most of our lives. Although we did forget each other for 27 years – long-ass story, involves rampant homophobia and an evil demonic clown. And that was just Eddie’s mother.“

Richie saw Eddie shoot him an exaggerated glare as the audience laughed. "I kid, I kid,” he continued. “Actually, that title goes to his ex-wife.” He could see Eddie shaking his head at him, but at least there was no heat to it. Thank God Eddie knows most of my act. Richie needed to get through that part without accidentally pissing Eddie off before he got to the reason he brought him out on stage.

“So anyway, yeah, we were best friends growing up, then when we were 13 something changed – for me, anyway.” He chuckled. “I used to joke a lot when we were teenagers about fucking Eddie’s mom, but surprise, the whole time I actually wanted to fuck Eddie. Imagine his relief when he found out that saggy old boobs actually don’t turn me on.

We – along with our four other closest friends – have literally been through hell and back together. Twice, actually.” Richie paused again as the audience laughed some more. “But honestly there’s no one I’d rather have by my side in this insane thing called life than this motherfucker. So –” He broke off and turned towards Eddie, digging in his pocket and pulling out the small square box he had been hiding for the past month. He opened it and got down on one knee as a collective gasp rang throughout the theatre. “Eddie, my love, will you make me the happiest man alive by becoming my husband?”

Eddie, who had gasped and taken a step back when Richie had knelt, started nodding tearfully. “Fuck yes,” he said into his mic, then dropped it as he pulled Richie to his feet and into a kiss, burying his fingers into Richie’s shaggy hair.

(Richie had thought when he and Eddie first officially got together that Eddie would nag him to cut it, but it actually turned out that Eddie really liked both Richie’s hair and the noises Richie would make when Eddie would tug on it. Who knew that his Eddie Spaghetti had a hair-pulling kink?)

The audience went nuts, but Richie didn’t hear any of the noise. All he was focused on was his fiance. Fiance, sweetheart, betrothed, HUSBAND, Richie’s brain supplied helpfully.

He pulled the ring, which was a simple platinum band, out of the box and slid it onto Eddie’s finger, pulling Eddie into an embrace. “I fucking love you,” he mumbled against Eddie’s neck.

“I fucking love you too,” Eddie replied. “So fucking much.”

Richie gave Eddie another kiss before turning back to the audience. “In case you guys didn’t catch that, he just agreed to put up with my bullshit for the rest of our lives.”

He wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist. “Now if you guys will excuse us, we’ve got some celebrating to do. Thank you all for being a part of this with me, you’ve been a fucking fantastic audience. Good night!”

He and Eddie walked backstage to thunderous applause, where Bill, Mike, Ben, and Beverly were waiting for them.

“Oh my God, what the fuck are you guys doing here?” Eddie exclaimed. “I thought we weren’t seeing you until Friendsgiving next month.”

“We couldn’t miss our best friends getting engaged, could we?” Mike replied.

Beverly wrapped them both in a hug. “Congratulations, you two!”

“Thanks, Bev,” Richie replied. “Great to see you guys. Thanks for coming.”

Eddie turned to Bill and slugged him on the arm. “You fucker! I just talked to you on Wednesday and you said you were going to Atlanta for a film shoot this weekend.”

Bill just shrugged and patted both of them on the back. “Congrats, guys.”

“Yeah, congrats,” Ben echoed.

“It’s about time one of you put a ring on it,” Mike added.

“Shit, that’s right, your ring.” Richie picked up Eddie’s hand and gently twisted the ring off his finger. “I wanted you to see – I had it engraved on the inside.” He handed the ring to Eddie, who held it up to the light.

R + E

Eddie looked back up at Richie with a smile. “30 years later and you’re still carving our initials into things.” He pulled out his phone. “Hang on just a second.” He sent out a quick text message, then tucked his phone back into his pocket.

Richie grinned before taking the ring and sliding it back onto Eddie’s finger. “You know, this might be personal bias talking but I think platinum looks a lot better on you than gold,” he said, referencing Eddie’s wedding ring from his first marriage.

Eddie smiled back at him softly. “Yeah you know, I think so too.”

They were interrupted by a stagehand. “Excuse me, Mr. Kaspbrak, here’s your coat that you asked for.”

Richie raised an eyebrow. “Jeez, Eds, are you in that big of a hurry to get back to the hotel to celebrate our engagement? Because you know, the limo is pretty roomy, we could start early.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, digging in the inside pocket of his coat. He pulled something out but kept whatever it was concealed in his hand. He handed Bill his coat. “Here, Bill, would you hold this for a minute? Thanks.”

Eddie took Richie’s hand. “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” Richie asked jokingly.

“Jesus, Richie. Just shut the fuck up for a second.” Eddie shook his head fondly. “Anyway, I wanted to show you something as well, something… something I’ve been carrying since the day after my divorce from Myra was finalized.”

He opened his hand to reveal a platinum band very similar to the one currently resting on his finger.

He handed it to Richie. “Check the inside.”

Richie examined the inside of the ring and caught a glimpse of an engraving. He tilted it to inspect it further.

E + R

His jaw dropped and his eyes flicked back over to Eddie, who was watching him with pure love in his eyes.

Eddie took the ring back. “I was planning on asking you to marry me at Friendsgiving.”

“Yes,” Richie blurted. His brain seemed to had gone offline again.

Eddie laughed. “Well considering you beat me to proposing and we’re now engaged I’d assume that would’ve been your answer, dumbass.”

Suddenly an idea struck Richie. “Hey Eds, since we are in Las Vegas, elopement capital of the world, what do you think about getting hitched tonight?” He gestured at their rings then at the rest of the Losers Club. “I mean we both have rings and the most important people in our lives are already here.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Eddie replied.

Fuck, I guess not. “Well, yeah, but you know what actually, nevermind, it was a stupid fucking idea anyway–”

Eddie was nodding his head. “–Shit, Rich, yes. Fucking YES, I’d marry you right this fucking second if we could make it happen,” Eddie replied.

Richie’s heart swelled with relief. “Well okay then, let’s fucking do this.”

Mike had pulled out his phone and was scrolling through it. “The marriage license bureau is open until midnight,” he read off, “so if you guys want to you can go ahead and apply online for a marriage license on the way there.”

“Ben and I rented an SUV while we’re in town, so we can all ride together if you guys want,” Bev offered.

Richie was already texting Brian so he could get a press release together. “Yeah that sounds great, just give us a minute to grab the rest of our stuff from the green room and cancel the limo that Brian had lined up to take us back to the hotel. Eddie hated it anyway, said it was pretentious.”

“That’s because it is fucking pretentious,” Eddie muttered.

“Ok, Beverly and I will go get the car and meet you guys out back?” Ben asked, taking Bev’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I’ll come with,” Bill said.

“Me too,” Mike added.

Richie nodded. “Ok, we’ll see you guys in a few then.”

He and Eddie headed back to the green room and gathered the rest of their things.

“That’s everything, right?” Eddie asked him.

Richie looked around. “Uh, yeah, I think so.”

“Ok, good.” Eddie turned towards the door.

“Eds, wait a second,” Richie said quickly.

Eddie turned back towards him. “What is it, Rich?”

Richie bit his lip. “Are you sure you want to go ahead and get married tonight? I don’t want you to feel rushed into anything just because everyone’s here.”

Eddie shook his head. “Yeah, I’m sure. We wasted so much time dancing around our feelings as kids, I spent the next 27 years feeling like half of myself was missing and not knowing why, then when we reconnected I was almost impaled by a fucking monster clown-spider, so yeah. I’m not putting anything else with our relationship off in case some other crazy shit goes down.” He smirked. “Besides, I want to spend the rest of my life annoying the shit out of my husband and the sooner I can do that the better.”

Richie grinned. “And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life annoying the shit out of my husband.”

Eddie tugged him towards the door with a wink. “Then we better get going.”

#it: chapter two #it: chapter 2 #it: ch 2 #Reddie #richie x eddie #fix-it fic #tcmf writes #My writing #i love reddie so much y'all #these boys give me feels

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