#thanks to the folks who offered me advice

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

Advice for beginner Hellenists

This isn't necessarily a post where I include a list of Gods, epithets, resources, and offerings for said Gods, but rather, hopefully soothing the worries of those of us who are starting the journey into the religion. As someone who was once in a religion that made other religions sound like something absolutely terrifying, my journey into Hellenism was once which was also... pretty terrifying, and this fear was mostly just from my own mind.

Anyways, my list of Advice:

You can literally just start praying. If you want to get more formal, you can absolutely get more formal, but you very much don't have to. I've definitely had my first prayers to some Gods be "hello, [God or Goddess's name], I want to worship You! Please lead me in my journey. Thanks!" I can promise you, the Gods are much kinder and more understanding than any of us fully know.

You can also just start worshiping in general. I feel like I've seen on occasion people worried about the Gods not "calling" to them. This is definitely not something that needs to happen pre-worship. If you find them interesting enough to pray to, then that in and of itself is enough.

In a similar vein, I wouldn't be too concerned about the idea of "signs". I feel like there's a tendency for folks to be incredibly worried about everything when first starting out - the behavior of a candle, the sighting of an animal, a strange dream, all can suddenly seem to take on jarring significance. But I can promise you, the Gods don't constantly give out signs, and frequently, these strange occurrences can be attributed to the mundane. When something comes from the Gods, you will know, trust me!

You don't have to worry too much about the idea of cleanliness, be it spiritual or physical. Khernips are cool, and I'd definitely recommend integrating them into your practice sooner or later. Hygiene is cool too! But if I'm being honest, we in the modern day are far more physically clean, and a lot less likely to regularly encounter the type of pollution that would have been encountered in ancient Greece.

The Gods will be at varying distances over the course of your worship. Sometimes, They will feel close, joyfully, burningly so. And sometimes, They will feel far, and prayers may even feel a bit futile. Both of those are perfectly okay, and neither of those will be permanent.

And, once again in a similar vein, you will likely not find yourself having constant, close mystical experiences with the Gods (i.e., conversations, visions, etc.). These experiences are rare and far between, and I would advise that you not make them a central part of your worship. They will come when the Gods deem you're ready for them, and you definitely won't be expecting it. Focus on the little things!

My final thing (for now) is that you also shouldn't put undue pressure on yourself to be doing some sort of big offering to the Gods. If that's what you can afford, that's great! But if not, fresh water, a small wildflower that you came across and picked*, or a small bit of a meal also count as a good offering!

And with that, my (much longer than I was previously planning on) list of things for beginners to keep in mind! A lot of this list is made up of things which I picked up along the way, and a lot of it is also made from my own personal hindsight being 20/20. I hope this is helpful to someone, and that it maybe soothes some of the (incredibly common) worries which so often accompany those who are venturing into the world of Hellenic polytheism!

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[doberbutts]

We have a little free pantry in our front yard (toothbrushes, tampons, shelf-stable snacks bottled water, etc.), and I read a lot about people's experiences having one online before we put ours up re: expectations about potential interactions with people using it, but nothing prepared me for how weirdly aggro *other* people sometimes get about us having it as a form of "activism" as opposed to some other, more nebulous idea of broader social change. "Don't you think it'd be better to volunteer at or donate money to a homeless shelter, so those people can get the actual help they need?" "Shouldn't you focus more on trying to campaign for policy changes that will help more people than one street corner if you care about this problem?" "Isn't doing that a waste of time?" "Aren't you just encouraging people not to get help?" I do that other stuff when I can. This is something small I can do - in addition to raising awareness and fighting for bigger change, when I have the time and money and spoons - and at least, when I don't. It's crazy to me to approach social justice issues with such an all-or-nothing mindset as some people seem to. I've met enough of the individuals who utilize it to know it makes a difference in a very tangible way for the people directly around me.

No, I agree entirely.

Corny and dated as it is, there's a reason the saying is "be the change you want to see". If no one within the community puts in the work to fix the community's problems, even in little bits and pieces, then how will anything change? Raising awareness only goes so far. What happens when all anyone is, is aware? Aware, and still doing nothing, waiting for someone else to put in the work.

Sometimes, that someone is going to need to be you. You can't just wait around and wait for someone else to do it for you.

If I see someone digging through the trash for food, I wave them over and offer them food from my house or fresh food from a store or take them to a restaurant where they can order whatever they want. If I'm getting groceries and I see someone very obviously homeless struggling to pay for their food, I tell the cashier to add it to my bill. No one starves in front of me. Ever since I stopped needing to rely on food stamps, no one starves in front of me.

This past summer I saw someone splayed out on the sidewalk in 95F weather in direct sunlight. I couldn't tell if he was unconscious from drugs or passed out from the heat or just simply had fallen asleep in the shade and then the sun moved. I was getting groceries so I added a bunch of hot chicken to my order plus several bottles of refrigerated water. I went over to him and woke him and explained that I was worried he needed medical attention. He'd passed out because he was tired, he told me. I offered him the hot food and the water and he thanked me, telling me he'd run out of water the night before and food the day before that and didn't have any money to get any more.

Everyone else had been walking around him like he was just an obstacle on the sidewalk. No one had thought to offer any help. When I walked away, some folks who saw me told me that that was very nice of me. I don't think it was nice of me. I think that's just what you should do if you see someone obviously in distress. They agreed that he seemed like he needed the help. They didn't act. They agreed that the compassionate and right thing to do was to offer assistance and make sure he was okay. But they didn't do it. They waited for someone else to do it.

I've mentioned in passing that I volunteer for the local teen LGBT club, helping lost gay kids find their way and maybe not kill themselves about it. It's not much. I mostly just text back and forth with whatever kids get my number from the adults that run the thing. Sometimes I give them tips and advice. Sometimes I'm just the cool gay uncle they tell about their latest school drama. Once or twice I've served one of them lunch on my couch while my dogs smother them with affection and they cry about their latest heartbreak. I don't do speeches or history lessons or anything like that. I don't think I'm qualified for it, in honesty. But if even one of them doesn't commit suicide, if even one of them doesn't self-harm, if even one of them no longer feels all alone in the world because I'm there when they reach out to me, that's enough.

Today on my commute to work, the guy in front of me had a major wipeout on his motorcycle. I stopped my car in a position that none of the other cars could hit him, and asked if he was okay, and waited until his friend (also on a motorcycle) had circled back around to help him off the road and check him over. I left once his friend waved me away. I offered to call an ambulance but he refused.

A couple weeks ago, also on my commute, a woman was stopped on the side of the road, waving her arms at drivers, shouting for help. I stopped. The other drivers didn't. Her car had died, she was new to town, and she was somewhere that notoriously doesn't get cell service. I helped her call a tow truck. It wasn't a trap. She didn't want to hitchhike. She just was stuck and panicked about it.

I stop and help animals get off the road. I've lost count on how many turtles I've carried to the other side. I helped my neighbor search for a dog he saw get hit by a car so he could take it to the vet. I shoveled my elderly neighbor's driveway for her, and talked my boss into giving her a major discount for her little dog's dental in which pretty much every tooth needed extraction or he would die. When I still lived in that rental with my roommates, we were surrounded by kids. Every kid on the block knew we were a safe house to go to. If they needed food or water, if they needed entertainment, if they needed just somewhere to be, they could be at our place. When covid started, I did a "reverse halloween" since Halloween was canceled, and I put bags of candy on every doorstep that I knew had kids inside. I've done a "neighborhood santa" putting a small toy plus a small gift card for the parents on every doorstep that has kids, for as long as I've lived around kids.

When I say activism requires action, I don't mean that every single person is required to save a thousand lives. The honest answer is, unless you have a lot of disposable time and money, you probably won't. But you can still make a difference. To one. To ten. To twenty.

And you know what? I'm not saying black people specifically came up with this- but how can you be surprised to know this is how I live my life when I say over and over that I was raised by black activists who lived during MLK Jr and Malcolm X and knew community action would have the longest-lasting effects? Of course I do all this. That's what being part of a community *is*.

[taxidermycanine]

Hey not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I'm looking for whoever might be able to offer advice. My wife just told me she's therian today (wolf). I'm completely supportive of it of course. As another wolf therian, do you have any suggestions for things I could do to help her feel more comfortable or support her better?

(Anon ask to protect her privacy because she's self conscious about it)

hi! this is absolutely the right place to ask, welcome :o)

this is very sweet of you to do, and i'm sure your wife appreciates you looking more into therianthropy so you can understand her better!

i hope you enjoy this post, and thank you again for this ask! the tips are under the cut

species affirming 101: wolves and other canids

hello there! struggling to figure out ways to affirm your therianthropy because you don't know where to start? or maybe you're someone who knows a critter personally and want to learn how to make them more comfortable around you? then sit down and get comfortable because this is species affirming 101 (with me, the dog).

before we go into it, please note:

not all of these things are for everyone, and that's okay! do what feels right for you.

i will try my best to provide alternatives for any food recommendations for those of you with dietary needs, but apologize in advance if i fail to do so.

that the most important thing to affirm your species is through taking good care of yourself and spending some time outside to ground yourself. sometimes these things take time, they'll come to you eventually.

with that in mind, let's begin with the first tip!

NUMBER ONE: clothing

whether you have shorter or longer fur, this point can help you either way! the human body doesn't grow nearly enough hair to feel comfortable sometimes, which is why i wear clothes that are fuzzy, warm, and the same color as my fur. this is especially helpful in the colder months.

as for the warmer months, i recommend purchasing things such as tail keychains, trimming your nails into claws, drawing paws on your shoes. even meditating in a wooded area can help somewhat (at least in my own experience).

NUMBER TWO: snacks

usually when people think of species affirming snacks their mind immediately goes to something like jerky, and whilst that can help a few folk, in my opinion it's much too gritty for me to enjoy comfortably. i prefer eating slim jims for the saltiness and fall-apart texture. if you can't eat meat for whatever reason, i recommend experimenting with different types of mushrooms. a popular choice for meat imitation is the lions mane mushroom. when cooked a certain way, it's crunchy, filling and has a tender texture.

NUMBER THREE: ambiance

something as simple as putting on a video of nature sounds can make you feel more at home. i recommend mixing this with den making (making your bed feel more like a den by adding lots of blankets, going under them to sleep for coverage, maybe a chair or two to keep the entrance visable. i find having some sort of floor mattress works best for this sort of thing)

NUMBER FOUR: comforts

stuffed animals of your theriotype are always a nice way to feel less lonely, especially if you feel like you're meant to have young. acting like they're your pack, your litter, or simply just your belongings can provide heavy comfort during times of feeling isolated.

if you feel like you shouldn't have stuffed animals because you aren't a domestic breed, you shouldn't worry about that. One, you can do whatever you want forerver. Two, there have been many cases of animals finding things like stuffed animals and playing with them, look at this guy!

NUMBER FIVE: socializing

as canines are social animals, it's important for you to spend time with others, therian or non-therian. if you have human friends, or a human partner, great! if they're comfortable with it, you can have them pet you if you'd like. maybe ask to go on a walk with them for a more discreet option.

i'd also recommend making friends who are also therian so you have others to relate to. it's important to realize that you are not alone in this, and there are so many who feel the way you do right now. if you make some irl, go to the forest together! play in the river! if you're stuck to being online friends for however long, make moodboards! play online games where you can be an animal together! roleplay if that's more your speed! there's plenty to do with loved ones.

for now, that's all i can think of. for the anon though here's a little more just for you, i wish you and your partner the best.

be there for her, tell her that her being a therian doesn't make you love her any less and that you find her therianthropy beautiful. ask her about what she'd like you to do to help with species dysphoria, if she has any. research about her theriotype with her to show her that you care about it. as another wolf therian myself, the thing that helped me the most is having my own partner be there for me. canines are social animals, be social with her.

my love to you both,

bandit

[kedreeva]

as someone who is ace and entering college years, how has your dating life been as an ace? what other struggles have there been that you have advice for? i dont know any aces or similar around me older or otherwise. thank you for your time and i hope you have an easy day!

Okay this will get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut

Honestly I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I never really...struggled? Not specifically with asexuality or with anything related to it. I can tell you my experiences, though, and you can decide if there's anything worthwhile to take away from it!

I grew up in a house run by science and math. I knew the prefix a- meant without/not and I knew there was heterosexual and bisexual and homosexual, so when young and, importantly, before really ever interacting with other queer folk, I went Ah ha, these are (prefix)(sexual) and so therefore I am asexual (without sexuality), and that was that. That was literally all the thought I gave to it. People had crushes on other people, I didn't have crushes on people, end of story. If, for some reason, I developed a crush on someone, I would deal with it then.

Maybeeeee midway through HS, a very good friend of mine asked me about it, and I said well, some people like everyone the same, and I dislike everyone the same. And she said well, then it sounds like you like everyone the same, that amount is just zero, so that seems like bisexual? (she didn't know the term asexual was an actual sexuality term either at that point, just the biological term for reproduction and, well, I could reproduce theoretically so couldn't be that) And I said well, alright then, and called myself bisexual for the next 6 or 7 years. THEN I found out asexuality is a sexuality not just a mode of reproduction and I said Ah Ha, I was Correct, and that was that again.

So I guess if I was offering advice it would be... you know you. Don't let someone else tell you about you if you think they're wrong. Make up a word if there isn't one. Use a new word if you find one that already exists and fits.

Also, that it's fine to not worry about it. Literally it's fine to just never think about it if you have better things to do. I think a lot of people get really wrapped up in finding the right label and/or "what happens if-" when like... you're not a canned good. You don't need a label. Worry about what-ifs when they come up, don't borrow anxiety if you can help it.

I dated a few people in HS, like... three people I think, and one Almost. One predatory mistake I thankfully recognized (HEY because I had older folks online I could talk to about it!) and got out of quickly, and one hot mess relationship that was a LOT of fun- my boyfriend, Sark, and then his ex-girlfriend, and then I stepped out so they could get back together, and then they said wait no, and invited me back in, and that went on for most of the end of HS, and nearly into college, when I stepped out again (and peacefully, I am still friends with both of them and I married Sark in the end). There was one guy whom I was always, perpetually, extremely fond of, and we hung out a lot, kissed once, and I think we would have had a lot of fun dating, but ultimately it was a near miss that became a fond memory, because we were never in the right place together. Sometimes life does that, and that's okay, too.

In college, I simply didn't date anyone. I had better things to do. I met my best friend, @idkfandomwhatever, online that year (and still talk to her almost daily, sometimes for hours, despite that we are on opposite sides of the world!!), and in person @mishapeep who was the best roomie I ever had (hi!!!!! i love you!!!). I had great friends, I went on a TON of adventures, worked a cool job where I had awesome coworkers, and just all around had a blast learning stuff and napping in sunbeams or on couches at the food court. A couple of guys made passes, and I turned them down because I just wasn't into it, and we remained friends. There was one coworker at my dispatch job that I got along with like a house on fire, and everyone ELSE thought we should be dating, but neither of us ever brought it up- I can't say why he didn't for sure, but I know I never brought it up because I was 85% sure he didn't swing for the right team to date me, which I ALSO never brought up until he found me on facebook years later to tell me about his husband running for local election somewhere. so. again, don't let anyone else tell you what to do lol there was ALSO another guy that I had NO interest in that spent a lot of time around me, but we mostly sat in my bunk watching Queer as Folk, which I KNOW was his first exposure to queer material. I never talked about queer stuff with him otherwise, but I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he's also happily married to his husband. Sometimes just being yourself, openly and without shame about it, does more than you think, even if it's not doing anything directly for you (but it is, it's good for you too).

SINCE college ended, I dated one guy I met through an online game and that was great in person briefly, but ultimately didn't work out because he couldn't be a nice person, another guy I met through the same online game and that didn't work out at ALL in person, and then I started hanging out with Sark and co again. I was on the phone with him driving somewhere, and I said something to the effect of someday you're gonna find a gf and she's not gonna want you to keep going on adventures with your ex, and we won't be able to talk anymore and I had a real recordscratch moment where I realized absolutely NOT on MY watch, I wanted that boy in my life forever actually, and we've been married now for... this is year 8.

I may have landed in a soft place, but I didn't seek it out. I just lived my life and didn't worry about my sexuality or about who I was or wasn't gonna date. When I DID date, I was up front about what I wanted from any of those relationships and part of the problem with the relationships that didn't work out was sometimes that I did not KNOW what I wanted, yet. But, it was IMPORTANT I think, that I gave the chances I did, because I did learn about myself and what I wanted. That's probably the hardest fucking thing to learn, that relationships sometimes happen not because they're likely to be permanent, but because it may be fun or be a way to learn what you do or don't want. Maybe alongside of that, the lesson that it's okay to go "hm, actually this is Not For Me" and exit peacefully whenever possible. But it's okay to give temporary things a shot and see how it goes, even knowing up front it may be temporary (honestly maybe that even takes some of the stress of it off? if you don't have to worry about it being forever, and you don't have to worry about "what if I never experience other things," and you don't worry so much about messing it up so it feels easier to take chances saying and doing stuff you might otherwise consider too risky to ask for etc).

I'm aware I'm lucky that things went pretty smoothly for my entire life so far, insofar as dating or sexuality is concerned. Part of that was definitely because even the worst of the people I dated weren't really all that bad of people. A lot of it was that I just didn't date if I didn't want to. I didn't care about sex, so I didn't have sex for the first time until a few years after college, and only one guy ever pushed the issue at all (the guy in HS I immediately dropped all contact with).

The thing is... I dated or nearly dated like ten people, flirted with countless others (because it's FUN), and the only one I still have regular contact with (not just occasional friendly hellos) is the one I kept at the end.

But the friends I made in college? I kept a lot of those. I still talk to several of my college friends on a regular basis. I have made other friends since, some of whom I talk to every day, some of whom have become irregular contacts I am still fond of. But those bonds are important and the ones you make with your friends from here out do have the potential to span at least huge chunks of your life, if not the entirety of it. If you only take away one thing from this little novel...take that knowledge.

also this has nothing to do with asexuality but for pete's sake find SOME kind of hobby club to be a part of, or make one if there isn't one, follow your stupidest instincts for adventure on occasion (like playing freeze tag frisbee in a lightning storm on the PAC lawn at 11pm until the campus cops show up to make you go home), and take at least one "fuck it this sounds fun" class. Mine was archery at 7am, the only early-morning class I ever took. Worth it, we were all TERRIBLE but god it was awesome.

Good luck out there!

[thebibliosphere]

I really appreciate how open you are about what your body puts you through and the unhelpful attempts to help that you receive. My wife was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis back in 2016 (among other things, and among other diagnoses that she really needs to seek/be evaluated for), and we've had much the same experience. "Have you tried tumeric? Try tumeric! Just eat some yogurt, the probiotics will balance out your lactose intolerance!"

Related: I also recommended your blog to a new friend who has MCAS and was floored that I knew anything about it... about which I credited everything to you. So thank you for helping him feel seen!

Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say—and I’m glad you were able to be there for your friend. And that your wife has a supportive partner for their chronic illness. I’m sure that means a lot to them to both of them.

I know it does to me when I’m trapped in bed for a week and @mothman-etd has to take care of me.

And I try very hard to be patient with folks who offer unsolicited health advice. Though, frankly, I delete anywhere from 10-15 messages a day asking me if I’ve tried xyz cure.

Those are the ones that tend to start along the lines of “I know you claim to have tried everything but have you actually tried [very basic medication/intervention commonly associated with the illness here]?”

Those people show their true colors. Their ableism is showing by telling me there’s no way they believe I’ve done everything in my power to still be suffering. They don’t get to eat up my valuable energy with a response.

When I do respond to folks it’s usually because I think the person means well but needs to be reminded that unsolicited health advise is not kind, often frustrating and that they need to learn to curb that impulse and ask themselves, is this person asking for advice, or do they just need to vent?

Sometimes people take it extremely poorly like a rejection of themselves and not a behavior they can correct. Other times they go, “oh shit, my bad! I didn’t even think how patronizing that was.”

The latter is preferable, lol.

[midnightfantasiez]

Twisted Love | 하나 (chp. 1)

SUMMARY: you were certain that you would never find love nor ever lose your virginity throughout university, that is until a man named Lee Sangyeon came into the picture and offered to become your tutor; in exchange for keeping your grades up, and most importantly, teaching you everything you needed to know about sex. it was all just for fun & games, that is until one of you started to develop feelings for the other.

PAIRING: tutor!Sangyeon x afab!reader

GENRE: smut (18+ MDNI!!)

WARNINGS: frat parties whoopie 🤠, alcohol consumption, Sangyeon is such a flirt dear god, petnames (sweetheart, princess, good girl, baby), reader gets drunk, kissing, oral (reader receiving), Sangyeon's goddamn tongue 😮‍💨, foreplay, cum tasting (Sangyeon forces reader to 😃), size kink, readers loses their virginity to Sangyeon, p in v sex, unprotected sex (be careful irl folks), cursing, multiple orgasms

WORD COUNT: 3,535

A/N: and so the chaos begins 😈 shoutout to both @sungbeam @momhwa-agenda for beta reading this for me!! 💗

send me an ask/comment to join the series taglist! those in my permanent taglist will automatically be added!

The loud, blaring music was the only thing that resonated within your eardrums as you tried your best to navigate the fraternity house with a glass of Long Island Iced Tea in your hand. It didn’t help that the entire venue was dimly lit and crowded, no matter which corner you tried to escape to. 

It was the day right before the new semester started, and your roommate convinced you to join the frat party hosted by the co-ed sorority house just down the block from your apartment. To commemorate both of you finishing up your first year and venturing into the next, your roommate decided it was about time you both stepped out of your comfort zone and had a little fun before hell started the following day. 

There was a problem, though: you weren’t much of a party scene type of girl. Sure, you drink a little bit occasionally, but frat parties were definitely out of the question. On the other hand, your roommate often heads down to the local bars every weekend to get wasted and return home during the wee hours of the day. If only you both didn’t have 8 am classes every single day (because, well, being a law student sucked), you were pretty sure that your roommate would’ve gone out every single night if she could. 

But it was totally fine with you, though—you are both still good friends, so you often just turn a blind eye to her drinking habits. In fact, sometimes, she was the perfect friend to go to whenever you needed drinking advice; she was the one who broke you out of your shell and ventured into the whole new world of alcohol consumption anyway. 

Thanks to her, she managed to drag you out of the house and attend this frat party with her because you promised to spend more time with her after finals were over after turning down multiple of her offers during the previous semester. Now, there was no escape for you since you were free from studies, and your part-time job didn’t really need your assistance until several weeks later; you had no choice but to give in. 

You were constantly linking your arms with her wherever you went, staying close to her at all times because, quite frankly, you struggled with social anxiety. But as long as you were close to your roommate, everything would be much more bearable than it was.

However, at some point, you unintentionally slipped your arms off her, and she probably didn’t notice either, as she blended into the crowd of strangers fairly well. Now, you were just standing in the middle of the room, groups of people constantly walking past you. Immediately, you started to panic—the alcohol in your system was also giving you a hard time as you tried your best to look for your friend since you were slowly starting to get tipsy. 

But you were determined that you needed to reunite with your roommate no matter what, so you tried your best to push through the crowd with the glass of cocktail in hand, hoping that she hadn’t gone too far away and that you would be able to find her as soon as you could. 

That was until you unintentionally bumped into someone, and the alcohol in your system was once again slowly disrupting your senses. As you try your best to squint your eyes and look up to who it is, you are greeted by a somewhat built tall man leaning down to your eye level, trying to start a little conversation with you.

“Hey, are you lost, pretty little thing?” 

You were met by a tall black-haired male, about 176cm tall, holding a glass of whiskey in his hand as he began looking at you from top to bottom. Even when you were tipsy, you could clearly examine his well-built body and how good he looked. You had no idea such good-looking students resided in the sorority house. 

“O-Oh, yeah…I mean no…I’m supposed to look for my friend…” 

“Hmm, what does she look like? Perhaps I could help you find her?”

“Oh no! It’s okay; I can handle it myself—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, you began losing your balance. You were about to stumble to the ground until a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, preventing you from actually having that impact. 

God, this is why you hated alcohol. 

“I don’t think you’re in a very good state to go hunting for your friend, sweetheart. Let’s go get some water from the pantry,” the male insisted, and he began guiding you all the way to the kitchen, which wasn’t located too far from where you were standing. He immediately made you sit on one of the chairs surrounding the dining table. He quickly fetched warm water in a glass and handed it to you. 

At this point, your subconsciousness was slowly fading away, and you were still holding onto your cocktail, not wanting to let it go. In return, the male himself had to help unwrap your fingers surrounding the glass of alcohol and place it far away from you. Once he did so, he gently placed the glass of water in your hands, guiding you to drink it while you began whining like a baby.

“I don’t wanna~ Give me back my cocktail~” You slurred. 

“I’d like to think you’ve had enough alcohol for the night, princess. You’re going to blackout soon if you take another sip of that,” the male replied while he was slowly trying to push your arms down from trying to take the alcoholic beverage located on the dining table. 

“Who are you to tell me what to do~ You don’t even know me~” You whined, slowly getting slightly annoyed with everything. 

“I am certainly gentlemen enough to step in and stop a stranger from doing something they might regret later on,” he insisted. 

“No, no, no! I don’t like it! Give it back to me!” You were starting to raise your voice a little, but it wasn’t loud enough to cause a commotion; well, technically, this was a frat party where loud music was just blasting all over the entire house. 

But the male wasn’t going to back off so easily. “Princess, please stop it; you’re not going to last—” 

The next thing that happens is you dive into his embrace and seal your lips with his. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and began kissing him messily, devouring the hints of whiskey that were left on his lips. The male himself was initially taken aback; his eyes widened, and he did not know what to do. Yet, you were devouring him hungrily, and you eventually tried slipping your tongue into his mouth, and that was when he knew he was fucked. 

In response, he kissed you back aggressively, tilting his head to the side to gain more access to your mouth. And boy, did he enjoy the little hints of cocktail left behind on your lips. If this is what you have always heard about your roommate telling you how making out when you’re drunk looks and feels like, it definitely exceeded your expectations. You were on cloud nine, the tension and lust in the air being all prominent, causing you to crave for more. 

Suddenly, your hands slowly creep up on his built chest, touching them as if it were something all brand new to you. How rock solid it felt, and how badly you wanted to lift his shirt actually to feel it bare— 

“Sweetheart,” he panted. 

“Y-Yeah?” You asked, all while still kissing the male aggressively. 

“Do you wanna see what’s underneath?” 

“Hell, yes, I fucking do.” 

He smirked in between the kisses. “Well then, let’s take this somewhere else, shall we? Somewhere more private and where we will be having loads of fun together.” 

You couldn’t remember exactly how you ended up in one of the empty bedrooms upstairs in the sorority house. All you remembered briefly was how he picked you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around him all while he took you upstairs, lips still intact with one another. 

The next thing that happened was that you were lying flat on the bed, your pants were completely stripped off from you and tossed on the ground, and the male himself was situated in between your thighs, slowly leaving trails of kisses all the way close to your cunt. 

As soon as he reached your underwear, he began rubbing it slowly and gently, causing you to elicit a moan as you arched your back from that sensation. He knew what he was doing, and it felt so good. 

“H-Hey…can you…uughh…can you kiss m-my…” 

“You want me to eat you out?” Well, that was pretty straightforward.

“Hnngh…yeah…please…” you begged. 

“Only if you call my name, sweetheart. It’s Sangyeon.” 

“S-Sangyeon…please…” 

If only you knew how pretty his name sounded coming out of your mouth, oh god, how badly he wanted to give you whatever you asked for. 

“Now that’s a good girl,” he smirked as he pulled your underwear down and tossed it straight towards the ground; the cold air that was hitting your now wet spot suddenly sent a little wave of current down your spine. 

As he slowly made his way back to your cunt, he noticed how you were already dripping wet, and he grinned at the sight that was in front of him. Your face was flushed, chest moving up and down heavily, and god, the way you looked so adorable in his eyes—making him want to make you cum as much as he possibly could. 

“Baby, you look absolutely gorgeous right now. I’m going to devour you up so bad and suck you dry, not leaving a single drop of your juices behind.” 

With that, he immediately connected his lips to your wet cunt, your moans now much louder and more prominent than before. If you thought his fingers were deadly enough, apparently, he had another wildcard up his sleeves—his tongue. 

Your head was spinning as his tongue throbbed in and out of your cunt, picking up his pace gradually, where he decided to yank you slightly closer to his mouth, causing him to penetrate his tongue deeper into you. Your hands gripped the sheets of the bed tightly, and naturally, you arched your hips up in hopes of wanting him to eat you out more. 

“Hnngh, Sangyeon! I-I’m going to cum!!” 

You were pretty sure that he heard that because the next thing that happened, he quickened his pace, and within seconds, your liquids came gushing out from you, and that didn’t stop him from licking every single drop. 

As you slowly came down from your high, he was gently kissing all of your sensitive areas around your bud before lifting his face to move up towards you; now, both faces were just merely inches apart. 

“Taste your own cum, baby. Tell me how it is,” he mentioned quickly before diving down, locking his lips with yours, his thumb pulling your chin down slightly to ensure you have gotten every single drop left on his lips. 

Once he pulled away so that you both could breathe deeply, he gently caressed your face before asking the question.

“How does it taste, princess? Did I do a good job?” 

“Y-Yes…It tastes so good…” 

Instantly, a smile plastered across his face, and he leaned down for another peck on your lips. “Is there anything else I could do to pleasure you this evening, princess?” 

There was something that you have always wanted to do from the back of your mind, but you have always been afraid to try it out. Ever since you entered college, you have always felt pressure around you when most of your friends have told you how they have already lost their virginity, making you feel like you’re still a little child waiting for your parents to get you your favourite strawberry flavoured lollipop from your local candy store. 

However, you were also terrified of losing it, especially when you have heard horror stories on campus about how some girls have had traumatic experiences doing it with people that they didn’t really love or trust. 

But it was always on your to-do list before you graduated from college, and if you were to ever do it, you would definitely not do it when you were sober. What exactly was the reason? You have no idea. Perhaps losing it when you were tipsy or drunk would have felt ten times better for you so that you wouldn’t have to remember about it much. 

Given the fact that this Sangyeon guy has treated you nothing but well so far throughout the party, you figured that he probably isn’t those bad guys that people would tell you to stay away from. Besides, you were certain that you wouldn’t be meeting anyone from the party ever again when the new semester began. 

It’s now or never. 

“I want you, Sangyeon. I want you so bad.” 

At first, you immediately tilted your face towards the side, not wanting to see the expression on his face as you said that. Who were you kidding, asking a random stranger to take away your virginity just like that? If he were a fuckboy, he probably would’ve done it right away without even having to wait for you to pose the question. 

God, this is going to be another awkward moment—

Immediately, you felt his fingers wrapped under your chin as he turned you to look back at him, his face now merely inches away from you. 

“If you want me to fuck you good, then I suggest you keep your eyes opened and watch carefully, baby.” 

He then pushes himself back up and immediately lifts his shirt all the way up out from his head and throws it to the floor. You were pretty sure you were drooling at this point because you finally saw his bare, well-built body in person—rock solid toned abs, big built chest, and god, his body proportions were to just die for. 

Before you could even comment on his body, he quickly yanked his pants and boxers down, revealing his now huge erected cock that he was rubbing slowly. 

God, it’s a hell of a monster cock. 

“Like what you see, princess?”

You quickly snap back from reality as he now slowly positions his cock directly onto your cunt, the tip now rubbing your entrance as he crawls up to you again. 

“Are you ready, sweetheart? Ready to take it all in?” 

You gulped. “Y-Yeah…I guess…”

He smiled and giggled at the sight of you. “You look so cute, do you know that? Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” 

Immediately, one of his hands finds its way to yours and interlocks them while his other hand helps push his giant cock into you, causing you to yelp and shut your eyes tightly from the impact.

Oh my god, you actually did it. 

“Hey, baby, you okay?”

Trying your best to find the right words as you panted, you slowly responded to the male while your other free hand grabbed onto his arms. “Y-Yeah…I just…” 

“I’ll give you a moment to adjust, hmm? Tell me whenever you’re ready; I’ll start off slow.” 

After a few seconds of calming your heartbeat down a little, you slowly give him a nod, indicating that he could continue with what he was doing. The pace started slow but impactful, your walls were absolutely tight as hell, and his cock was just trying its best to loosen and break them apart. 

“Let me guess,” he panted. “This is your first time doing it, huh?”

“W-What? How did you know?”

“Oh, I know alright; I’m pretty much a veteran when it comes to sex.” 

What in God’s mind made him say that out loud? 

As much as you wanted to comment on that, you were so out of your mind to even think straight because Sangyeon was now thrusting faster into you, knowing that your walls weren’t as tight as they were before. 

“S-Sangyeon!” 

“Use your words, baby. Tell me, how are you feeling?”

“I-It…it feels so good…aaahh!” 

“You like it when I fill you up with my cum, baby?” 

“Y-Yes, I want you, I want you so bad!” 

That was all he needed to hear, and he reconnected his lips with yours for a couple of seconds, kissing you feverishly before breaking the kiss to pound you much faster and harder. In return, you suddenly felt a knot in your stomach, and that’s when you knew you were near. 

“S-Sangyeon…” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“I-I’m going to cum…” you whispered, desperately trying to warn him beforehand. 

“Then cum for me then, tell me. Where exactly do you want me?”

“I-Inside! Please! Cum inside of me!!” You screamed. 

It was as if you both had the perfect timing as you both came together, filling each other up with your own respective liquids. You let out a deep gasp from your orgasm, and Sangyeon groaned out loud before he collapsed on top of you. 

It took a few moments and a little breather before he lifted himself up a little, desperately trying to find your lips again and devour them slowly. You then moved your fingers up into his hair, slowly enjoying every bit of feeling how soft it is. 

As your exhaustion slowly takes over you, your eyelids begin to fall, and you finally pass out into dreamland, his soft, plump lips on yours being the very last thing you remember.

You were awakened by the sound of your alarm coming from your phone as you tried your best to reach for it, which was placed on your nightstand. 

When you finally squint your eyes to turn off the alarm, you shoot up from bed based on what you see on your screen. 

You had 10 minutes left to prepare for your first class of the year. 

Immediately, you hurried out of bed and dashed right into your toilet, trying to clean yourself up within 5 minutes so you would have the other remaining 5 to dash to campus.

You didn’t even bother putting on makeup for the day (which you would usually wear lightly); at this point, you only cared about being presentable and not looking like a homeless college student who got kicked out of her apartment.

There goes my effort to actually make a good first impression at the start of the new semester. 

You couldn’t even say a simple good morning to your roommate who made your favourite toasted cream cheese bagel as you dashed straight out the door, having only one of the straps on your backpack slung over your shoulder.

As you made your way towards campus, the usual short route that would’ve taken 5 minutes if you walked and 2 minutes, if you dashed, felt much longer. But you knew that it was completely your fault since you were the one who overslept and fucked up your sleeping schedule.

Or did you?

That was when questions began popping up in your mind. The last time you remembered you were still awake and conscious was when you were at a frat party with your roommate.

A frat party…

That’s right.

You went to a frat party at the sorority house not far from your apartment, and then you remembered getting separated from your roommate and trying your best to locate her throughout the house…

…and you bumped into a man named Sangyeon.

Fuck, you actually lost your virginity last night. 

The next thing you knew, you had already arrived right in front of your lecture hall, and you quickly took a quick breath and tried to compose yourself, shaking off all of the thoughts that had happened the night before.

Screw it, I’ll deal with whatever happened last night later.

You quickly navigated the entire auditorium, only to find that the front seat was left that wasn’t taken. You absolutely hated sitting in front, especially when you weren’t at your best self this morning. But you didn’t have much choice left as your professor walked into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

You reluctantly sat down and took your laptop out, turning it on while you began to hear your professor’s voice in the background.

As you were busy trying to rummage through your bag to find your textbooks, you began hearing the girls around you squeal, making you tilt your head up to see what was happening. 

That was when you wished you could hide under the table and vanish from campus right this second.

A tall, black-haired male walked into the hall with a folder in his arms and made his way right next to your professor while introducing himself. His neatly styled hair was parted to the sides. He also wore a black blazer over his white tee, which, quite frankly, made him look effortlessly attractive.

“Class, this gentleman right here is Lee Sangyeon, and he will be the teacher’s assistant for this semester.” 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

A/N: me as i write this sangyeon series: "why do i do this to myself 😃" (no yall do not want to know the endless amount of brainrot i went through writing this)

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[doumadono]

you're a fucking bitch for not accepting emergency requests during christmas time. selfish cunt. I hope you rot in hell, fucking pig

Initially, I had half a mind to ignore this message, you know, let it drift into the abyss of unread notifications. But then, on the flip side, I figured it might be worth my precious time to drop a line or two and enlighten you on a couple of things.

About six months ago, I graciously introduced emergency requests as a feature on my blog. Since then, I've effortlessly tackled nearly 80 emergency requests, rejecting just one which contained explicit content. I'm consistently available when others need to let off steam, doing my utmost to lend a listening ear and offer advice.

You see, I'm practically donating my personal time to craft these requests and provide a dash of solace to those desperately in need of it. I want to clarify that my availability to fulfill requests may be limited during certain times, including holidays, due to personal commitments or high demand.

Listen up, you self-righteous hypocrite. Calling me names just because I need a bit of time for myself? That's some next-level hypocrisy right there :) Thanks to folks like you, I'm seriously contemplating shutting down emergency requests as the new year kicks in.

In case you haven't noticed, I've got a truckload on my plate. I'm waging a freaking war against leukemia, juggling the responsibilities of raising kids, and still, I manage to get back to work to help my patients going through awful situations. And what do I get in return? Your snide remarks? Bitch please.

I usually brush off stupid comments, but your words hit a nerve today. I bust my ass to aid others, often when I'm feeling worse than low. Am I being selfish now? Damn right I am. But who can blame me?

As for those emergency requests, who the heck knows? The decision will be made by the end of the year. Right now, I'm feeling lower than low, and I don't have the time or patience to deal with this crap. So, do me a favor and save your judgment for someone who gives a damn. If you're feeling a bit Grinchy, maybe a cup of cocoa or some jolly tunes will do the trick.

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam, it looks like I'll be in Chicago for a few days next May. I'm going through all the typical sight seeing websites, but do you have any recommendations for a first time visitor? I'm not huge on architecture, parks or crowds. History, art and music are a big yes. I'm considering the Big Bus hop on/off tour for practicality. Any tips would be appreciated!

I used to have a "guide to Chicago" that I would link people to, but I think it probably badly needs updating, since a lot of what it talks about is pre-pandemic, and some places don't exist anymore (which is not necessarily down to the pandemic, Chicago is an ever-changing place). RIP Apocalypse McDonalds. Definitely before you follow anyone's advice including mine, look up what you're going to go see to make sure it's still there.

So, couple of quick recommendations; thanks for telling me some of what you're into, that always helps :) I'm going to assume you're either staying somewhere close to downtown or willing to trek into the city from outside it. A lot of people who tell me they're visiting Chicago are actually visiting Rosemont, which is a nice place but not Chicago and not super close to most of what I'll be talking about. Chicago is extremely large, and if you are staying around the O'Hare airport area (Rosemont) it will be an hour by public transit or at least $50 by rideshare/cab to get downtown.

I will say whenever I'm visiting somewhere, my first stop is always Atlas Obscura, which usually lists the really weird shit to do. :D

I've never done the Big Bus tour, but it's much nicer to do it in May than, say, December, and the people I know who've done it found it a convenient and inexpensive way to get around the city without having to deal with public transit, so while I can't personally recommend, I've only heard good things.

I know you said you weren't into architecture, but if you want to see a lot of Chicago in a very relaxed fashion, while incidentally getting some architecture knowledge, it's tough to beat the Chicago Architecture Center's boat tour. You just get on the boat, buy a drink if you want one, sit back, and drift down the river and back while someone narrates the history of Chicago architecture to you. You'll also, in May, see lots of other folks out on the river and get a real taste of Chicago's downtown scene. If you'd like to see the river without the cost of the architecture tour, I'd check out the water taxis and see if there's an opportunity to take one when going between other places you're visiting. They do a lot of tourist-destination stops.

For history, the Chicago History Museum is a natural fit and a lot of walking tours leave from the museum, although most of them are architecture :D I would also HIGHLY recommend Adam Selzer's Mysterious Chicago tours; Selzer is a very smart local historian and if you'd like to do reading ahead of time I also highly recommend his book Ghosts of Chicago. If he's offering a tour of Rose Hill or Graceland cemeteries, I'd jump on that; Graceland was my old "home" cemetery (it was literally my backyard for about a decade) and I think it's extremely interesting and beautiful. If you do go to Graceland, I can recommend Byron's nearby as a great place to get a burger, fries, Italian Beef, or a hot dog. But pretty much any tour he offers I would recommend whether I've been on it or not, he's great.

For art, again, the natural choice is the Art Institute Museum; to avoid lines, I'd recommend buying your museum ticket ahead of time and entering through the Modern Wing on Monroe Street, which is less attractive but also way less crowded than the "Lions" entrance on Michigan Avenue. I always recommend people make sure not to miss the Thorne Miniatures (they're in the basement so easy to miss, but any docent can direct you there) and the Ugliest Vase in the World. They move the vase around quite a bit, but if you check the website for the Londonderry Vase before you go, it'll tell you where to find it. Its hideousness must be seen in person. Also make sure not to miss the Chagall windows, they're off in a corner by the entrance to the cafe.

I'm not really much on music so my reccs are weaker there, but if you'd like some Chicago blues in a tourist-friendly environment, Kingston Mines is good, as is Buddy Guy's (which also has great food and is closer to downtown). If you like fried chicken, Harold's Chicken Shack is near Buddy Guy's (it's all over, it's a small chain, but that's usually the easiest one for people to find). The Chicago Symphony Orchestra is pretty great for classical music, and in the summer they often have special guests. If you like the NPR show "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me", they record live in downtown Chicago at the Fine Arts building; you usually have to buy pretty far in advance, keep an eye on tickets here.

More general recommendations: the Museum of Science and Industry is really fun, especially with kids but even without, but it's also the furthest out from downtown and can take some work to get to. Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium are both fun times, although the Shedd is kinda pricey I think. They're right next to each other though so a day doing both is convenient. If you are doing any of the museums, keep your eyes peeled for the "Mold A Rama" machines, where for $5 you can watch the machine injection-mold you a souvenir. Often the museums have custom machines for various exhibits (the Death exhibit at the Field had a skull one, for instance).

There are two train systems in Chicago: the "El" (the color-coded trains you see in movies all the time) and the Metra. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TAKE THE METRA TRAIN ANYWHERE. The Metra is a commuter rail designed for people who know how to use it, and they don't announce stops or even sometimes have signage; often the train won't stop at a platform unless it's told to during certain times of day. It is extremely easy to get extremely lost on the Metra and end up somewhere you do not want to be. If you are taking public transit, even if it seems less convenient, stick to buses and the El trains. The El and Metra run on different tracks so it's easy to avoid the Metra, but I always like to warn folks.

Okay, I think that's the highlights, minus some parks and such; I hope you have a great time! Feel free to hit me if you have questions.

[saintbleeding]

do you have any advice for writing image descriptions? I’ve been wanting to add some to my art but I don’t know how to go about it

hello anon!!! that’s a wonderful thing to want to do and im happy to offer whatever help i can :3

so because image descriptions are very much a community effort, that does also mean there isn’t really a style guide or anything, which can be freeing but also quite intimidating! here are some kinda off the top of my head suggestions:

If ur comfier putting the ID in alt text than the post body, that is still much MUCH better than no ID at all (and side note, if someone copy+pastes ur id into a reblog, it’s not a suggestion that you did anything wrong, they’re just trying to make them maximally accessible. while a lot of ppl who need IDs will use screenreaders and will prefer alt text, there are ppl whose preference is plain text in the body of the post (i personally fall into this category))

similarly, if you are struggling to write an ID/don’t have the energy/etc, i cannot recommend People’s Accessibility on discord highly enough. there are some wonderful folks in there who can give you pointers or even write IDs for you! likewise, i can’t speak on others’ behalf but i’ve gladly written IDs for ppl’s posts before they’ve put them up before, and i’m happy to do so, even if we havent interacted before! you can shoot me a DM with the image you need described and i’m glad to assist

more specifically:

it’s good practice to include the name of the fandom and the characters, assuming it’s fanart. altho it’s likely that fanart will stay broadly within a circle where people are familiar with the source material, there may be ppl who encounter the post and wouldn’t know this detail without it being laid out explicitly

you’re welcome to mention whichever details you like, especially if you are the artist, because you know what’s important to the image as a whole. it’s also perfectly acceptable not to get super detailed on things like clothing/hairstyles, especially if they aren’t relevant to what’s going on

a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, if you didn’t have the image in front of you and just had the description, would it be a true representation of what the image looks like/portrays? would your mental image be accurate? that’s what you’re shooting for.

the best advice i can give is to just dive in and start, bc it gets a lot less intimidating once you’ve done a few, and it also gets easier the more you do it :3

also, i think trying to follow ppl who describe images helps a lot, because you will get more passive exposure to descriptions and what you think works/doesn’t, which can improve your own ID writing! on that note, highly recommend @princess-of-purple-prose/@pathos-logical (kay is a pillar of this and every community tbqh), @ryutarotakedown, @lucky-numberme, @fox-guardian, @squeeneyart, @hotdrinks, @samwise1548, and @rq-described (a breadth of interests represented here, but also if you’re asking me i presume you have at least a passing interest in audio drama and adjacent :3 )

thanks so much for asking and as i said i’m always happy to help however i can!!! happy describing, i believe in you!!!

[popjunkie42]

Painted Blind Chapter Three

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Summary: What Feyre Archeron wants is simple: enough food, gold and safety to take care of her family. But when a terrifying fae beast crosses the wall and enters the human lands, she finds that simple, safe life slipping out of reach.

Part one of an ACOTAR re-telling inspired by the Greek myth of Psyche and Eros.

Chapter Three: Feyre learns the unintended consequences of becoming Feyre fae-killer. The Archeron family receives an invitation.

Thanks to @witch-and-her-witcher and @rosanna-writer for the beta read, hand holding and advice!

I also have a beautiful commission art piece by June Page I’ve posted.

I’m really excited for the next few chapters as we get to delve into some more sister stuff along with exploring the human territory a bit more…

Chapter under the cut or Read on AO3.

The next morning, there were offerings at the door from the village.

It wasn’t until I had stepped outside in the morning to grab firewood that I saw our front stoop had been visited. There were…offerings. Lovely stacks of small gifts: an iron ring on a plain wooden dish, a pile of dried figs wrapped in a canvas bag, winter apples, a small carving of a wolf’s head, and a sprig of dried flowers.

No one from the village had ever given me anything before.

Coming here, my father, sisters and I had learned quickly that poverty hit this place too hard for begging to be of any use. The most well-off in our village still had lean times without bread and the refined folk down the road that deigned to come to market day would do nothing but sneer and kick at us. There was a line even for the burned and stale bread at the bakery. And tempting as it was, I refused to accept the occasional offers of ale at the tavern from the men whose eyes sparked after too many glasses themselves.

Richard Dannon had been good to his word, and had come to our ramshackle cabin just a few hours later with a purse of gold and breathless thanks. He eyed me the whole time as if I were some sort of dangerous beast that might turn and snap at him at any moment, just like the head I had brought him that morning. I didn’t ask what he planned to do with it.

The man in his fine suit and wan face had offered to keep some of the funds in the bank in Innisville - our old village, when we had been in society and not known the pains of hunger.

I said I’d consider it.

But I hadn’t thought about much at all, really, after scrubbing my skin raw and sleeping most of the day.

If my mind wandered anywhere it was to what Isaac and the gaggle of boys around our age would think; at how the other hunters in the village might greet me at the next market day. How I could walk past those who sometimes laughed at me or threatened me with a reason to hold my head high.

On the second day, the gifts were even more lavish.

Nesta and Elain’s eyes had gone wide as we all shuffled out in our blankets that morning. There was a bouquet of vibrant hothouse flowers that made Elain gasp. Dried meats and a small bag of flour and candies - a bag of peppermints.

For once, we hadn’t fought. Nesta’s eyes had glittered as she offered the bag to Elain, who deeply inhaled the sugary scent and selected one with delicate fingers, as if it were a sparkling diamond. Then she passed the bag to me, smiling wide, reveling in being able to share now instead of fighting over meager morsels.

I couldn’t remember, exactly, the last time I had tasted candy like this. But some recollection was buried deep within me, as the first taste of sugar flooded my memories, filling my mouth as I sucked.

A moment later we were all smiling at each other, laughing at the heady rush, at the crunch under our teeth and the tiny sweet memories of another life.

On the third day, the gifts were even more. Coins of all kinds. Bread rolls and pastries, and a small wheel of cheese. More flowers and dried up bits of the forest. And on the windowsill, a silver chain with a small stamped charm.

On the third day, as well, there were people waiting. Just a few - staring nervously as I cracked the door open and emerged, my sisters behind me.

A woman in fine black clothes approached me.

“I would ask your name, but everyone on the western shore knows it now.” Her voice was a hoarse croak, as if she had been screaming. Weary, bloodshot eyes seemed to confirm my suspicion.

“Um, I - sorry, I don’t know your name.” I remembered that once I had had lessons, etiquette, learning to curtsy and address all manner of people. My mother would be rolling over in her grave, now.

Gloved hands grasped my own tightly, and she shoved a folded letter into my hands, her eyes turning to shimmering pools. It had looked like she wanted to say more, but she had left a moment later - a weary trudge back towards the main road.

I made Elain read me the letter later that evening, when Nesta had gone to bed and father was snoring quietly by the fire.

Her son had fallen to the beast’s hunger. I didn’t let myself think as to whether I had seen his bones littered in front of the cave. She had written of her sorrow, and the hope that with his death avenged, her son would finally be at peace.

I didn’t know if I believed in that, if there was peace or anything at all to be had after we finally closed our eyes for good, if any old gods existed to guide us there. But I hoped for her sake it was true, or at least that the belief would let her sleep more soundly at night. Maybe we all would, knowing one such monster was gone from our lands.

I had hoped for the stability that came with gold, to avoid hunger and the cold, to maybe earn a little respect from the village.

I hadn’t expected anything like this.

An anxious part of me remembered the beast’s words, still so strong it was as if they rumbled through my chest. I am only what comes before.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was also on the third day that my father started acting strange, an unsettled gleam in his eyes as he stared into the fire.

His eyes had taken on a sharpness that had been absent for so long. And his attentions drifted back to me, to all of us. I would glance up from sharpening my knife at the table to find him looking at me, a crease in his brow, a small frown on his face.

As wary as I was, it almost felt good to see him like this - sharp, animated, and directing his attention towards me more than he ever had before. It reminded me of our life so long ago, when he had presided over a mighty wood-carved desk oiled to a shine and sat shoulder-deep amidst the richest treasures of the world.

When he had been…powerful.

That afternoon, we made our way to the marketplace for the first time since my hunt. We had walked together, even my father joining us with his cane, standing closer together than I could remember us ever doing. Nesta scowled, and Elain gripped my arm tight enough to pinch as we wandered through the square, meeting face after face filled with awe and wonder.

Some of them murmured my name, a strange, unsettling echo throughout the road. Feyre. Feyre Archeron. Fae-killer. A few even put their hands upon their hearts, and bowed in respect.

Bathed in blood, I heard someone whisper.

I didn’t know how to feel. My face was burning under all the attention, all the scrutiny. The village elders met us in the town square to shake my hand, the same ones that had turned us away again and again when we were at our most desperate.

Nesta had seethed beside me, only the smile of our father staying our words.

I didn’t have time for this. For any of it, least of all the nervous, unsettled feeling curdling in my gut.

I had things to do: I had to make change the best I could, for few in the village could exchange an entire gold piece. We had agreed upon some small initial purchases. Mostly I hoped that getting my sisters a few coveted items would douse those ravenous looks they gave every time the bag of coins sat upon the table. I needed to find a safer place to keep it than under the floorboards.

And I needed, desperately, to see the healer again. When I had first seen him a few days ago, he had done little more than give me a salve and poked around the bones in my hand as I tried not to scream. At least he had given me a tonic for the pain.

But I hadn’t been able to sleep last night, a burning numbness sometimes creeping past the pain of the shattered bone and torn ligaments. It was somehow worse. I had formed a new habit of pricking my fingertips with my nails, trying to coax some feeling back into them.

Fifty gold coins was fine. But it wouldn’t last my whole life. And I needed my hand to hunt.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The day after, father had mysteriously been gone in the morning by the time we all woke. He had returned hours later, his cheeks flush and three new dresses clutched in his arms.

He had hung them on the wall in display as I bit my tongue. They were simple, but made of fine fabric that draped well. Robin’s egg blue for me, slate grey for Nesta, and pale pink for Elain. We were to go to the market again, but as properly dressed ladies.

They had to cost at least a gold piece, perhaps even two.

I wondered how many gold pieces my hand was worth.

Still, something inside quieted me just for now. This was the first interest our father had taken in us in years. I felt it in the tension as Elain fingered the fabric reverently, as Nesta eyed hers with grudging approval.

So the next market day, I let him dress us as ladies. I didn’t say anything as we covered the new fine garments with our threadbare coats, paired them with our scuffed and worn shoes. He himself had brushed off one of his old suits as much as he could, shining a pair of impractical shoes from another time.

I had held out hope that things would return to normal over time, and we could slip through the market like any other unremarkable family with a few coin to spend. But no such luck.

The town square was full this morning, with more strangers in fine clothes than I had ever seen here.

All eyes looked to us as we shuffled through the stalls. Nesta kept her chin high and her jaw set, as I ducked into stores and stalls to escape.

Father was in fine form, smiling and shaking hands as we shopped. He made sure to seek out those in finer suits first.

“Feyre, come here!”

My father beckoned me with a warm, hopeful smile.

I sighed. I was negotiating hard for some dried beans, some rice. It had been a new irony to discover these market days: even with so many coins in my pocket, the merchants insisted on filling my arms with food and supplies, refusing to take even half of their worth. I had to fight: not to haggle, but to pay. I knew everyone here was as hungry as we had been, couldn’t afford such charity even as they insisted.

It was all right though, because it helped me ignore the shooting pains in my hand.

Father was entertaining in the square as we shopped: a rotund man about his age, in a fine dark wool suit and a tall hat, shining in the morning light.

“Feyre, this is Mr. Robinson, the Mayor of Innisville. You remember him?” he asked me.

I didn’t.

“His wife, Lady Sasha used to show horses with your mother. And he’s come to see you, dear daughter.” He spoke with a theatric flair, with a barely contained smile on his face. Unsettling and strange. “He has an invitation for us all.”

The man beamed at me, his chubby cheeks glowing red, looking warm and jovial even on this dour winter day.

“Just look at you. Who would have imagined you bringing down that monster!” I prickled at his tone. “I got a look at its head. You must have been very frightened, dear child.”

Something burned in my stomach. I remembered, strangely, the taunting, bored voice of the beast.

“I’ve hunted for my family for many years,” I told him. “Hunger drives us to do many things in spite of fear.”

My father made a sharp inhale. But the mayor simply smiled, moving closer at my tone, and grasped my good arm at the elbow. “Of course, dear. I just meant you must be very brave. Especially for one so young. And lovely.”

My father held me by my other arm. I had the distinct feeling of a pack gathering, penning me in.

“The Mayor came with an invitation, Feyre,” he said gently, like I was a wild animal needing coaxing. I could see the regret in his eyes, probably thinking about how he had taken so little care to teach his youngest proper manners. Or anything at all. “He’s extended an invitation to the whole family, to join them as honored guests next week for the town’s solstice celebration.”

“Everything is so bleak these days - with the wheat blight and the threat of the wall always looming over us. People need something inspiring, to show them the way. Or maybe someone.” He seemed to be a kind man, and his eyes sparkled as he smiled at me.

My heart skipped a beat at that. My birthday. I suspected my father had forgotten the significance.

I knew my sisters would want to go desperately, would beg and plead. And that spark in father, even if I resented where it came from…it was like he was back again, like when I was a child in his office, his youngest girl to entertain with treasures from across the world.

Except now, I was feeling more and more like the prize on display.

My hand began to hammer in time with my thundering heart.

“I suppose I can take a one day break from hunting.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

That night, the three of us lay in bed, not sleeping.

Nesta was the one who spoke first, her voice barely a whisper.

“Father means to use this to marry us all off,” she said, a simple statement of fact.

“Do you think we’ll get many more invitations, maybe to a ball?” Elain asked.

I snorted.

“This all depends on you, you know,” Nesta said, fixing her eyes on me in the dark. They glowed unnervingly in the silver moonlight. “You can’t behave like a feral beast anymore. If you can summon manners and keep your temper in check for once, you might actually be rid of us soon. Isn’t that what you want?”

I frowned. “Is that what you want, then Nesta? Who knew butchering a monster in the woods would lead to husbands all around. I didn’t think you would be so eager to partner with father in his schemes.”

“Last month I was considering marrying Tomas Mandray,” she said, almost bored, ignoring my words because she knew how much it angered me. Her eyes were locked on the ceiling as she lay next to me. “Now, if we can get a few more decent dresses and invitations to the town, we might be able to marry someone with money. An actual home to keep, with servants and filled pantries.” Nesta’s voice wasn’t hopeful. It was cold and practical, evaluating the lifeline set before us.

“I talked to the other girls at the dress shop,” Elain ventured, trying to smooth over whatever it was between us, her eyes wandering to me in the dark. “They said people think you’re…blessed, Feyre.” She sounded a bit nervous. “That you defeated a fae unscathed, and bathed in its blood to take its power.”

I laughed bitterly. “Unscathed? I can hardly move my fingers. And the cut on my cheek won’t heal at all. It still bleeds half the day.”

Indeed, the slice from the creature’s claws had remained a sharp red mark on my cheek, sometimes burning in the cold, despite the cleanings and bandages Elain had attempted on it.

I hadn’t told them yet what the healer had said to me about my hand.

He had cleaned my cuts and scrapes, clucking his tongue at the deep purple bruises that were turning a sickly green, and finally gave it a closer examination. He bent my fingers and rubbed my bones with his thumb, drawing muffled cries and fiery bolts of pain that shot all the way up my arm into my shoulder.

He had made a decisive noise and set it down again, finally. “There’s no way to set all these tiny bones without cutting into your skin. And I won’t know what I’ll find in there. It's too risky to cut through the muscle and make permanent damage. I’ll wrap it the best I can and I recommend keeping it still for a few weeks to see how it heals.”

“A few weeks?” I had asked, horrified.

“Five weeks is best. Afterwards we can see how it sets, and start practicing movement again.”

I had sat in stunned silence.

Five weeks. I had never been idle even half that long since we came here. We had money now, yes, but how long would it last if I couldn’t hunt? I knew I was the only one who could keep us afloat, and I couldn’t afford to lose that time.

Even setting the snares one-handed this morning had been a challenge. And this far into winter, the rabbits weren’t as plentiful on the forest outskirts. I had to go deeper, and I had to be prepared.

“After five weeks, I’ll be able to hunt again? To use it?”

His lips pursed. “We won’t know until then. It’s likely you’ll always miss some movement. It’s all up to your body now, and if it can put you back together. The more you move it, the more it will keep re-breaking and interrupt the healing process.”

Laying in bed, my hand wrapped tightly, it pulsed with the memory.

Maybe I would have to marry. If I could never use my hand again, never hunt, never fire a bow…snares and traps and a pocket of quickly dwindling gold could only get us so far.

My stomach turned at the thought. I had wanted marriage for my sisters, mostly to get them out of my care. Of course I always hoped they could move forward, leave this sad place, start their own lives away from our poverty and bitterness. I hoped they found someone hardworking – someone gentle for Elain, someone strong for Nesta – to eke out a life away from the sad pallor of our cabin.

I had never thought of it for myself.

All I saw in my mind was freedom. Father dozing on a warm bed, while I rested, and painted, well-fed and warm.

What man could possibly match that freedom?

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[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Do you have any advice for talking to people who aren't well-informed about what is going on in Gaza? One of my really close friends for over 10 years now has really conservative parents and she just :// she just kind of believes a lot of the conservative stuff they say and she hears others around her say. After the attacks of Oct. 7th, I think I remember her saying that the Bible says we should always stand with Israel which is just so :((

I want to inform her but I'm unsure of how to, and if it would even work. I'm scared of her response because I really love her and we've been so close for so long but I don't feel comfortable with her being so uninformed and I'm scared of her response. Do you have any advice and even pray for me to be given wisdom on how to handle this with care and love? Thank you ^^

Hey there! Thank you for your courage in even wanting to start a hard conversation with a friend about this vital topic. I'm going to offer some ideas, but ultimately you know this friend better than I could, so if something I say doesn't seem like it'll work with your situation, adapt or discard it.

I also invite others to add on ideas or encouragement. If you know of resources that are helpful for talking about Palestine with folks who are steeped in pro-Israel propaganda, please share!

___

Before delving into this topic with her, start by asking yourself what you're hoping she'll unlearn and relearn. What's a reasonable goal to move her towards?

Chances are, she's not going to move from unquestioning support of Israel to "Decolonize Palestine" in a day!

Moving her towards a simple agreement that at least some of the things Israel does cannot be supported is a good first step, and even that may take time and patience.

Prepare yourself to be happy about even the smallest baby steps in opening her perspective. "Ceasefire now!" may be the bare minimum in what is ultimately needed for true justice for Palestine, but it is an important step. If you can make progress towards her agreeing with a simple ceasefire, that's worth celebrating.

You'll also want to think in advance about where you're hoping her changed perspective will take her. Do you see her on the front lines of protests and marches? Or will you be satisfied if she makes some changes in where she spends her money (boycotting Starbucks, McDonalds, etc.), doesn't shut down pro-Palestine comments, etc.?

Again, being realistic and celebrating even small changes is helpful to keep from frustrating yourself or her!

So...how do you start a conversation that leads to that?

Wait for a time when you both are fairly relaxed, and have enough time that conversation won't be rushed.

Prepare yourself to hear some resistance and possibly even some really crappy things regurgitated when you first broach the subject. Do your best to remain calm, and not to jump straight into correcting every little thing she says — I know how hard that can be, but if you have hope that she'll be open to changing perspective, you want to establish yourself as a space where she feels safe enough to unpack the bullshit without being shut down at every turn.

For instance, in the scenario where she said "the Bible says we should always stand with Israel," responding immediately with "no it doesn't!!" would shut down conversation.

Instead, you might start with open-ended questions the two of you can explore together: "I wonder what the Bible means when it talks about Israel. Would the biblical authors recognize today's Israel as being the Israel they were talking about? / Is the Israel of today the same as the Israel of the Bible?" "What does it mean to you to 'stand with Israel'?" "Does that have to require sending them extreme military weapons?"

As you ask questions together, focus on finding common ground with her:

Does your friend agree that innocent people should be kept as safe as possible in military conflicts?

Does she agree that people of different faiths and cultures should be able to coexist?

I appreciate this post's advice on utilizing instead of challenging someone's deeply held values to guide them out from their rightwing radicalized views.

If your friend seems unwilling to talk about this...

It's okay to table the conversation if things start to get heated or she's shutting down. Let he know this topic is deeply meaningful to you and that's why you want to talk about it with her, as a friend who means a lot to you as well.

If there have been times in the past where she's realized what her family says about a topic has been anywhere from somewhat misinformed to utter bullshit, you might be able to remind her of that past time.

Do your best to make it clear that you are not judging her for what she currently believes — we can't help what we're raised in! You're just hopeful that, like in those past situations with other topics, the two of you can talk things out.

Did realizing that she didn't have all the information on a topic help in the past? Maybe remind her of that too, and invite her to team up together in finding the missing information on this topic as well — which leads me to...

Come with resources.

For exploring those open-ending questions I brought up before, it'll help for you to be pretty well informed in advance both about current events and recent history, and about how Christian theology's been used to advance Israel's agenda.

...Or, if you think your friend would prefer to learn along the way with you, it'll be good for you to at least know of resources the two of you can look at together!

You don't have to have all the answers; you can tell her, "I don't know enough either yet. I'd love to learn together with you." Framing it as something mutual, rather than you lecturing her or assigning her homework or judging her current ignorance, might cultivate that space for mutual growth that will benefit you both!

So here are some resources I recommend:

For questions about theology, including disconnecting biblical Israel from modern Israel, I highly recommend Decolonizing Palestine: The Land, the People, the Bible (2023) by Christian Palestinian theologian Mitri Raheb. If you don't have time for a whole book, I summarized the thing in an article that takes about 30 minutes to read. .

Another, less academic / more storytelling-formatted book that pulls in perspectives from Jews and Muslims, Palestinians and non-Palestinians, queer folk and more, that I find super valuable in summing up a lot of the fraught history and unpacking propaganda around Israel that so many of us have been taught to take as given, is A Land with a People: Palestinians and Jews Confront Zionism. .

Then there's keeping up with news using media outlets that don't sugarcoat Israel's violence. My personal favorite to listen to daily is Democracy Now!, which you can read/watch online or listen to as a podcast. A whole hour of news every day may be more than your friend can keep up with, however, so... .

...a briefer news option is @ So.informed on Instagram. Their posts sum up the big sweeping picture of what's going on, and help put it in context with accessible language. If your friend has Instagram, this could be a great source for her to start getting another perspective on what's going on. .

Similarly, @ letstalkpalestine is another Instagram account that explores history and current events in a succinct, accessible way.

One last thought: be ready to offer comfort.

It's hard to realize you've been misinformed about something important — especially when it's people close to you who've taught you what you thought was right. It takes a ton of courage and humility to realize where you need to change.

Your friend might become emotional about all this; that might look like grief, or rage, or even dissociating, feeling numb. Be ready to offer comfort, to remind her that what she thought was not her fault — that we're all steeped in things we have to work to unlearn, and you're proud of her for being open to learning.

And again I'll mention that if things start getting intense, it's okay to take a break! You don't want either of you burning out halfway through. You can take this process one small step per day, or even per week.

This struggle for liberation and justice is a long one — it's been decades unfolding, and it'll take a long while more. It's urgent, yes, but at the same time, rushing your friend won't aid the effort. Patience is much more likely to bear fruit that lasts.

___

I hope this helps somewhat! I'll be holding you and your friend in my prayers.

May the Spirit of Justice guide your words and actions; may She guard you from frustration; may she open your friend to hearing you out and entering into conversation with you. <3

[thenightfolknetwork]

Dear Presenter, a mad hare just told me you are moving with your fair folk friend to a new house and although I know you're not one to share your personal business with your listeners, I'm happy for your two to escape the grasp of Them (landlords), but the same mad hare urged me to warn you two about ghosts on the basement of your new home (they tend to get loud during the second hour of every full moon night), a sleepless entity who lives in your backyard and will start eating your carrots, if you dare to cultivate them, and something about a little guy with red skin, red hair and contorted feet who fancy make random people get lost on their own street (he's a Brazilian immigrant so learning Portuguese could be a nice thing? The hare wasn't very specific about it).

I don't know why the hare told me specifically and not to your two, but, eh, yk how these things are. Summering it all: Check the basement. Don't plant carrots. Learn Portuguese. Have lots of fun with the moving process! May all your stories be happy and all of your roads unimpeded.

(tell your girlfriend, which means, your friend who is a girl, to leave some fresh fruits for the hare! They told me something about planning to visit her)

Thank you for your kind words, listener. I admit I'm not quite sure I'm entirely comfortable with my personal life being discussed quite so openly among the lagomorphic community, but I suppose there's no harm done.

We have encountered most of the other residents so far, and I am pleased to say we seem to see eye to eye on most counts. We are looking into soundproofing the basement - your friend was, if anything, understating their volume during the full moon, and it seems the wisest course of action for all of us (not least to keep them safe from the wrath of my... friend who is a girl.)

I have seen no sign yet of the red-headed fellow you mention, but will keep my eyes peeled. There is every chance he has gone to seek his entertainment elsewhere. The house is in such a state of disarray at the moment that it would hardly be a challenge to lead someone astray among the tottering piles of furniture, half-unpacked crates, and an astonishing quantity of hat boxes. What can one person possibly need with this many hats? She only has one head!

Regarding the offering due to your friends, I shall, of course, pass on your message to my... companion. I'm sure she'll be quite happy to pay her respects, and will look forwards to their visit with glee. After all, they sound to me like a set of insatiable gossips, which should suit her down to the ground.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[grubloved]

hiii ive tried a few of ur recipes and they are always so good!!! and uve inspired me to create my own sourdough starter but i poked around youtube and reddit and it kinda seems super complicated and everyone says different things. so i was wondering if you have a video/recipe you used originally? if not thats okay, i just figured id ask for advice thank you!!!! also congrats on ur sourdough job u seem like ur having loads of fun!

it's really not so so complicated so much as just kind of time consuming! starting a starter from scratch is just a process of trying to get the little folk in the air who would like to eat starch and sugar into a jar with starch and sugar and then helping them prosper until there are enough that they will make air for your bread.

you can pull fancy tricks like collecting the folk off of the skins of fruit first and then feeding them flour if you want a head start but the folk are in the air either way. really it just comes down to: food for them to eat, water to keep them comfortable, and a jar to keep them safe. feed daily to give them fresh starches to eat until they are prosperous enough to sleep in the fridge.

here are a couple of my favorite methods: this one adapted from peter reinhart, which starts with pineapple juice to provide a lot of sugar for the folk to entice them down, and this one from king arthur flour, which starts with whole grain flour (easier to break down and has more sugar for the folk than normal flour) to entice them down. both eventually just have you feed them normal flour and water, but the beginning offering is just to kickstart things a bit.

one tip i would say for starting from scratch is just to make sure your jar and tools are sanitized before you begin, so as to encourage the folk you want and not accidentally introduce folk you don't want.

you can also always just buy a little seed starter from somewhere like king arthur flour! she will become different and mold to your environment where you are, so will end up unique to you, but will just be easier to start up.

also thank you so much!!! ^_^

[hmslusitania]

Hello! Long time lurker (I mean follower), I have been inspired by your recent bat family fics to get learn more about that universe but don't know where to start! I was wondering if you had a place to start?

Hello! Thank you for asking! I definitely have an answer, but I don’t know if it’s a universal answer so we’ll see!

Batfam Et Al are part of what I would call a “supermedia” (there’s probably a proper media term for it but I don’t know it) by which I mean: it exists in basically any form of media you could want, be it the original comics, animated series, live action series, live action movies, animated movies, books, video games, and — I presume — antique radio dramas. Getting involved in that is super daunting and understandably so.

The best advice I can offer for breaking in is to figure out what type of media works best for you, and then start there. (Other people reading this who might be diehards, I am about to name check three pieces of media that tend to get heavily side-eyed by comics purists but which I think are all very beginner-friendly, so look away)

For me, the form of media that tends to give me the most effective brain worms is video games. Although I had already started my DC entry somewhat against my will, the thing that actually fully dragged me into caring intensely about the Batfam was Gotham Knights, which lets you spend intense amounts of time with Gotham as a nightmare city, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd, and Tim Drake.

If you’re not so much into video games, the first thing in the non-Arrowverse/non-Nolanverse/non-Snyderverse DC world I spent time with was the animated Young Justice series. It does not have a focus on the Batfam in particular, but they do all make appearances at one point or another. It also has the benefit of introducing you to bunches of other characters within the DC universe, and even if some of those characterisations differ largely from their standard characterisation in other media (Kon), it does give you a good faces-to-names-to-soundbytes introduction to quite a broad yearbook of folks.

If your interest in particular is the Batfam, honestly the easiest way to get a toehold on that group is Wayne Family Adventures on webtoon. It is free to read and it’s fun and even though it does tend to actually resolve these conflicts and tensions unlike the prime universe comics, it does a decent job of naming what a lot of the interpersonal conflicts and tensions between the characters are so you can get a sense.

At which point we reach step two of “how to get involved with a supermedia” which is to identify a particular character (or two, or three) you can become unwell about, and then dig in to see what media is available for them. And as you consume said media, their adjacent characters will also clarify and you may find yourself becoming invested in them, at which point you may dig in and find more about them, and rinse and repeat.

The other thing I find particularly helpful to think about as I continue on my expedition into the jungles here (extended DC canon iterations) is that Batman (and Superman, and Wonder Woman) has existed as a character for nearly 100 years. By this point, they are all so entrenched in the cultural landscape that they are basically American folklore. And as with folklore, everyone and their mother has their own localised version of it, and they’re all correct.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Moving update

I'm grateful to the folks checking in on me and @crowtoed and thought I'd drop a quick update.

We're almost done putting all non-essentials in storage. The many bins are an investment in case we have to do this again. (I have already started researching shipping containers for an overseas move.) I'm going to buy storage unit insurance this week because I have more valuables stowed away than standard homeowners will cover.

My storage unit is almost the same size as the moving truck, which makes it easy to guage if I have to purge/store anything that won't fit. I'm going to hire the biggest trailer from upack.com when it's time to leave. The prices are amazing - less than $4k to move to Connecticut.

The Florida realtor (a condo expert) is viewing my place tomorrow, and with her advice, we'll start on final repairs/refreshes (this place is 23 years old, about when things like windows and tile get rather iffy). My mother graciously gifted me money to cover the majority of the fixes. This move would be a lot harder without her help.

Mom is also letting us stay short-term in her MiL suite a few towns over, so we can sell my condo asap. That means we don't have to worry about timing the purchase of the new house with closing on the old. Plus, I should have a few paychecks rent-free I can sock away / apply towards mutual aid.

We're hoping the condo sells by June or so. Once that happens, I'll use some of the funds towards old debt to nudge my credit rating ever closer to 800 (it's 778 rn, a multi-year project as I used to be in the 400s). Most of the rest of the money will be earmarked for a generous down payment on the new home.

We're still looking in Connecticut and have a realtor there as well. If it's possible, we can afford to fly up a few times to check out houses. The realtor told us our budget for what we want (1500sq ft or larger) is totally doable. The housing market there is weirdly reasonable.

Work is incredibly kind and has said if I need more than 2 weeks to move, I can take whatever time I need. I am fully remote now and blessed to be part of such a progressive company.

We still have some household and personal things to sell, but it's more out of "I no longer like/need this" than an urgent need for money. But thank you to everyone who has offered cash. It means so much to us to have such a strong safety net. If this happened even 5 years ago, we'd have been up shit creek.

Once we close on the new house, we'll drive up asap to move in. This is when we'll know our route and we'll connect with folks along it who have offered to be pitstops for us and the cats. The moving truck will meet us there in 5-7 business days after we leave Orlando.

My HRT Rx also got renewed for 6 months, and with my current stash + a little rationing, I shouldn't have any interruption with my shots, even if pharmacies start refusing me come July.

We're hoping to be all settled in the new home come October, but are dependant on the housing market. But we're stacking as many chips in our favor as we can.

Again, thank you, thank you to everyone who has reached out. I'll update again when something major changes.