#yoga ugly betty

[tunnelduck]

you think claire and yoga explored each other’s bodies?

[edmunderson]

Rewatchin ugly betty and i'm like "there should've been more alexis and amanda interactions. They should've kissed too" because in my mind they're both bi and i think they would've been v good together

[maviscampbell]

BLINDSIDED

send BLINDSIDED for a scene from my muse's past in which they were betrayed or shocked by what someone did

"Alex, listen to me. I'm pulling in right now, and if you don't shut the fuck up and let me concentrate I might crash this car and be even later than I already am. Stall for three more minutes. I'm literally going as fast as I can."

Mavis jabbed at the button on her steering wheel to hang up and swore under her breath as she turned into her usual parking spot. She shut the car off and paused, taking a deep breath and dropping her head onto the steering wheel for a moment. She wasn't in fact, going as fast as she could, and she had no intention to. The Coca Cola fuckers upstairs could wait.

She pulled down her visor to give herself a once-over in the little mirror and, unsatisfied with the quick swipe of lipstick she'd put on that morning, leaned into the back seat for her bag.

A flash of blue out the window caught her eye as she went, and she stopped, dangling halfway over the center console.

A baby blue cargo van was sitting in the parking spot next to her.

She abandoned the bag and straightened up in the driver's seat, eyes still fixed to the van.

It wasn't Betty. No, this was newer — one of those Ford utility vans that looked like a U-Haul — but it was that same exact blue.

Something compelled her then, and she started moving almost against her own will. Bag abandoned, Coca Cola fuckers forgotten, she got out and walked around to the back of the van, where the double doors were sitting wide open. She could hear music coming from inside.

Mavis stopped at the lip of the van, looking in to find exactly the person she'd just known, in her gut, from the second she saw that color, would be there.

"Mom."

Libby Campbell's head turned, and the first cogent thought that crossed Mavis's mind was just an observation: Her laugh lines are deeper now.

The inside of the van looked almost exactly like Betty did when she'd left it. There was that same Persian rug covering the floor, battery operated fairy lights lining the ceiling, pictures taped to the walls. A tiny twin mattress, so thin it basically a yoga mat, sat at the center.

"—Mavis?"

The urge to run seized in Mavis's chest, but at the same time she couldn't move anything. Her jaw had locked, her balled fists started to shake with how tightly they were clenched.

She hated how much they looked alike. How, as she looked at her mother for the first time in sixteen years, she felt like she was getting a glimpse of her future.

"What are you doing here?"

Libby didn't answer. "So you found your dad, huh?"

"Yeah," she said simply. Words were catching in her throat. Jimmy Buffett was singing about cheeseburgers in paradise over the bluetooth speaker next to Libby, and Mavis felt like she was going to throw up.

"Did you get everything you wanted?" Libby asked, something familiar and mean creeping in. She stayed criss-crossed on top of that mattress, but her shoulders were still relaxed, and she tilted her head lazily to the side. Mavis didn't answer, and a little, indecipherable smile crept onto her mother's lips. "Good for you."

She was being made fun of. Innocuous a statement as it was, Mavis could feel the derision and condescension it was soaked in. That little twinkle in her eye, the one that once upon a time Mavis would've done anything to see — god, it was ugly.

"Where's Cricket?" The question left her lips before she could even process that she wanted to ask it. There was only one mattress, only one suitcase in the corner.

Once again, Libby didn't answer. "You got the boring dad and the boring life in the 'burbs you always dreamed about, huh? Look at you — you look fancy."

Mavis looked down at her pantsuit and was met with the sudden urge to burn it.

"You left your baby sister and your whore mom and you never thought about either of them again."

"Where is Cricket, mom." It wasn't a question this time.

Something slipped in Libby's facade, just for a second. It'd been a long time since Mavis had laid eyes on her mother, but there were some things that she'd never be able to un-know about her. It only lasted a split second, but was that...guilt?

"You don't get to ask me about her," Libby said, scoffing, and Mavis could see the wall going back up again. "You left. You were just too good for us, weren't you?"

The accusation flipped a switch inside of her, the coil in the middle of her chest got so tight it burst. "Fuck you. You know why I left. I was tired of having a fuck up for a mom. Don't pretend like me leaving did anything but an inconvenience to you because you actually had to take care of your daughter by yourself for a change and you didn't have a free live-in nanny to do it for you. You know what? I was too good for you."

Mavis hated that the next emotion that crashed into her then was fear. It always had, any time they'd fought, because she always knew no matter what vitriol she could unleash, Libby could reach down further into herself and do her one better. As soon as she'd gotten old enough to realize that, Mavis would pull back at the last second, unwilling or unable to hear something that would level her for weeks after.

She wanted this time to be different. It'd been so long and the long-dormant anger buried in the depths of her had burst from the surface the second she'd stepped into her mother's view. She had so many things she wanted to say, and this time, she didn't want to cower away.

But although the anger hadn't changed, everything else had. Why should she stand here and willingly wage the same war when she'd left the last one half dead?

Without another word, she spared a last glance at Libby and walked away, straight back to her car, and got in. Her phone was buzzing in the cupholder, but there was too much blood rushing in her ears to tell.

She pulled out of the spot and, on autopilot, made the turn to go back home. She was going to find her sister.

[topperfecthome]

America Ferrera's Inspiring Weight Loss Journey

America Ferrera, the talented actress known for her roles in "Ugly Betty" and "Superstore," has not only captured our hearts on the screen but also inspired us with her incredible weight loss journey. Over the years, she has been open about her struggles with body image and her determination to lead a healthier lifestyle. In this article, we will delve into America Ferrera's weight loss journey, her approach to fitness and nutrition, and the valuable lessons we can learn from her transformation.

## Embracing a Healthier Lifestyle

Like many individuals, America Ferrera has experienced ups and downs when it comes to her weight. In her journey to a healthier lifestyle, she focused on embracing sustainable changes rather than quick fixes. Her approach was centered around overall well-being, rather than solely focusing on the number on the scale.

## Commitment to Fitness

One of the key factors in America Ferrera's weight loss journey has been her commitment to regular exercise. She understood the importance of incorporating physical activity into her routine not only for weight loss but also for overall health and mental well-being. Ferrera engaged in a variety of workouts, including strength training, cardio exercises, and even outdoor activities like hiking and yoga.

## Finding Joy in Exercise

America Ferrera's approach to fitness is rooted in finding joy in movement. Instead of viewing exercise as a chore, she discovered activities that she genuinely enjoyed, making it easier to stay motivated. By exploring different forms of exercise and finding what worked best for her, Ferrera was able to make fitness an integral part of her lifestyle.

## Mindful Eating and Balanced Nutrition

While exercise played a significant role in Ferrera's weight loss journey, she also placed emphasis on mindful eating and balanced nutrition. Rather than adhering to restrictive diets, she focused on nourishing her body with whole, nutrient-dense foods. Ferrera embraced a balanced approach, allowing herself to enjoy her favorite treats in moderation while prioritizing wholesome meals.

## Seeking Professional Guidance

To ensure she was on the right track, America Ferrera sought the guidance of professionals, including nutritionists and personal trainers. This allowed her to receive personalized advice tailored to her specific needs and goals. Seeking professional guidance can be invaluable for anyone embarking on a weight loss journey, as it provides a solid foundation and expert support.

## Embracing Body Positivity

Throughout her weight loss journey, America Ferrera has been a strong advocate for body positivity. She has openly discussed her struggles with body image and the importance of self-acceptance. Ferrera's journey serves as a reminder that weight loss should not be solely about achieving a certain appearance but rather about feeling confident, healthy, and comfortable in one's own skin.

## Inspiring Others Through Transparency

America Ferrera has used her platform to inspire and empower others on their own weight loss journeys. By sharing her experiences, struggles, and triumphs, she has created a safe space for individuals to embrace their own transformations. Her transparency serves as a reminder that weight loss is a personal journey, and each individual's path will be unique.

## Lessons Learned from America Ferrera's Weight Loss Journey

America Ferrera's weight loss journey teaches us several valuable lessons:

### 1. Embrace sustainable changes: Focus on long-term lifestyle changes rather than quick fixes.

### 2. Find joy in movement: Discover activities that bring you joy and make exercise an enjoyable part of your routine.

### 3. Prioritize balanced nutrition: Nourish your body with whole, nutrient-dense foods while still allowing yourself to enjoy treats in moderation.

### 4. Seek professional guidance: Consult with professionals who can provide personalized advice and support.

### 5. Embrace body positivity: Focus on self-acceptance and a positive relationship with your body throughout your journey.

### 6. Inspire others: Share your own experiences to empower and motivate others on their weight loss journeys.

America Ferrera's weight loss journey is a testament to the power of determination, self-acceptance, and embracing a holistic approach to health. She has become an inspiration for many, reminding us that our worth is not defined by our weight, but rather by our inner strength and confidence.

[wandyrlust-a]

hey bestie..... give me some random facts about our girl magdalena 🥰

you sending this as i work on her bio lsdjflsdjfkljsdf

her comfort movie is coyote ugly.

she's aware that she likes vampires more than she's supposed to but is too intrigued by the concept of cheating death to stay away. that being said, she's not stupid. she ingests vervain daily and has a number of things at her disposal for protection.

she strictly prefers to go by maggie. she was named after her grandmother and if you full-name her she will be quick to tell you that lsdjflsdjf (so like if you're looking to fluster her........there's your tip lJSDLFJDSLF)

when werewolves flocked to louisiana during hayley's pregnancy, maggie offered guidance and safety to non-locals who didn't know to avoid vampire territory.

she's considered vampirism for herself before. she isn't sure if it's something she'd want but the thought is like a security blanket for her.

gay

while her magic was able to prolong her grandfather's life, she couldn't keep him alive forever. he passed away finally in the 2000s.

she never bothered to find out who her father was despite his side of the family being the one that she gets her magic from.

she's impulsive, which is cliche, but she has a whole drawer of impulse buy nick-knacks that she always thinks in the moment she'll find a better place for. she never does. she wonders if she can utilize them for magic somehow. to be determined sljdfksdjfjslfskdfj

has a german shepherd named luna <3

she was about 27 when she started to dabble in age-slowing magic. thus far it's seemed to do the job though it certainly makes things like dating or being friends with mortals complicated. that being said, she can be killed just as easy as the rest of them so she's made it this far on a combination of sheer luck and keeping her hands to herself.

she enjoys yoga.

she moves around every so often and works odd jobs to get by. she's never been too aspirational in terms of building a career of any kind. however, she still owns her grandfather's house out by the bayou and her studio in the french quarter, so it's easy for her to come back, which she does often.

she's a terrible cook.

thankfully, many of those odd jobs she works are often in the bar and restaurant industry, so she normally doesn't have to worry about cooking for herself too much.

she's a great dancer. but elodie already knows that.

she's not as much of a party girl anymore but she definitely still is enough.

she never approached hayley about her mother. if she sought her out, she'd offer what she could, but she couldn't be the person to not only be the bearer of bad news, but she wasn't willing to relive memories that she'd rather forget.

she loves parks and rec. and she's very right for it.

she cheated at hide and seek constantly as a kid with magic.

she wears a necklace with a steel vial of vampire blood for emergencies.

she was more heartbroken than she let on when elodie moved out. she'd lived on her own for about a year at that point and didn't live with anyone again for years, if at all.

she will do magic for hire, within reason, though she knows it's frowned upon.

her relationship with magic has always been unlike the other witches she's known. her lack of familial ties hindered her from understanding the significance of tradition among witches and her lack of interest to find out more about her family further distanced that.

she never told her, but she used to use magic to soothe elodie if she had a bad dream when they lived together.

luna is the first dog she's ever had. she used to have cats and thought she'd try something different. she had a stray tabby named betty when she and elodie met.

locator spells are her favorite, mostly because she's terribly disorganized. she has several printed maps of the blueprint of her apartment for when she loses her shit sldjflsdjflsdjf

she met her first girlfriend at summer camp. a catholic summer camp of all things.

her grandparents knew that she was a witch but didn't know much beyond that. they knew of their existence because they had friends who had shared their secrets with them in the past, but had never needed reason to know any more until maggie came along. they knew enough people to connect her to those who could help her control her power but also, while they wouldn't admit it, were intimidated by her power in any amount and tried to raise her otherwise normal. hence catholicism, not that she subscribes to any denomination of faith by now.

i can do like 50 more but I may as well finish her bio at this point <3

[queenrisa14]

Quarantine Ask Game

Thank you for tagging me @tinacentury!!!!!! (even though it’s like super late lol)

What are you listening to?

I have a very thrown together playlist. You can find anything on there but some current faves are “If We Never Met” by John K, “....Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears, “Wonderland” by Taylor Swift, and “Water Me” by Lizzo. But yea, usually I just press shuffle and let the cards be dealt lol

What are you watching?

Binged “Vampire Diaries” like two weeks ago (Seasons 1-3 were the best I gotta say), “Ugly Betty”, “Tiger King”, “Tru Blood” (only because my roommate plays it ALL the time so it’s just really just background noise for me when I’m working), “Sailor Moon” (cuz duh?),  “Sex Education”, and “Say Yes to the Dress”. 

Movies wise “Prom Night”, “In the Tall Grass”, “Cabin in the Woods”, “Mom and Dad”, “Detective Pikachu”, “Parasite”, “Creed”, “The Hangover”, “Instant Family” (I recommend this one hardcore, IMO it was really good), “Acrimony”, “A Simple Favor”, etc.

I have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO, and Showtime so I have options lol

What are you reading?

All of you beautiful peoples fics or admiring fanart (and yea I’m behind in reviews -_-.  But besides that nothing really? I guess “Financial Accounting in an Economic Context” is a real thrilling read if you’re taking Introduction to Accounting?

Food you’ve been craving?

Pasta and food from my fave places. Lots of chicken and pizza cravings too. 

Other activities you’ve been doing?

Rotting away in my dorm room and going to my now empty bathroom down the hall for fun. On a serious note, I’ve just been writing a lot and trying to keep up with my workload from school and work. 

Something you want to start doing?

Start posting my writing and also I want to do something productive? Not anything crazy but do fun things like yoga, or tie dye a T-shirt, paint, make collages, etc. 

I just want to make something lol

Any quarantine tips?

Try and go outside to get fresh air. If you’re quarantining with other people like family and friends, do some fun games with them or try to keep each other entertained. You can be productive or just be lazy and relax because I’ve honestly being doing both. And also try to keep in contact with other friends and family through technology. 

Well I don’t know how’s left so whoever wants to do this can do it!! (And please do if you do want to!!)

[blackkudos]

Lorraine Toussaint

Lorraine Toussaint (born April 4, 1960) is a Trinidadian-American actress and producer.

Toussaint began her career in theatre before supporting performances in films such as Breaking In (1989), Hudson Hawk (1991), and Dangerous Minds (1995). As lead actress, she is best known for her role as Rene Jackson in the critically acclaimed Lifetime television drama series Any Day Now, from 1998 to 2002, and her recurring role as defense attorney Shambala Green in the NBC legal drama Law & Order. Toussaint later appeared as a regular cast member in the NBC police procedural Crossing Jordan (2002–03) and the TNT crime drama Saving Grace (2007–10).

Toussaint has also made over 30 guest appearances on television, starred in a number of made-for-television movies, and had recurring roles in Ugly Betty, Friday Night Lights, Body of Proof, and The Fosters. She co-starred in the ABC fantasy-drama series Forever (2014–15), and recently co-starred in the Fox comedy-drama Rosewood.

Toussaint received critical acclaim and an Independent Spirit Award nomination for her performance in the 2012 drama film Middle of Nowhere, written and directed by Ava DuVernay. In 2014, she played the role of Yvonne "Vee" Parker, the main antagonist in the second season of the Netflix comedy-drama series Orange Is the New Black, for which she received critical acclaim and a Critics' Choice Television Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. She later played the role of Amelia Boynton Robinson in the 2014 historical drama film Selma, directed by Ava DuVernay.

Early life

Toussaint was born in Trinidad and Tobago. In an interview she said: "I grew up under the British system, which I think is horrific for children -- very, very strict -- a system that did not recognize children as being individuals. You were small animals earning the right to be human. Childhood for me then felt extraordinarily powerless, and as an artistic child who learned in alternative ways, it was hell. I was beaten regularly... A good child was a fearful child, and I was a very, very, good little girl, which meant I lived in a world of silent, dark terror most of the time." Her mother was a teacher, and brought Toussaint to live in Brooklyn in the late 1960s.

Toussaint graduated from Manhattan's High School of Performing Arts in 1978. She then attended the Juilliard School's drama division as a member of Group 11 (1978–1982), where her classmates in 1982 included Megan Gallagher, Penny Johnson Jerald, Jack Kenny, and Jack Stehlin. Toussaint graduated from Juilliard with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree. She then began her career as Shakespearean actress before tackling screen acting in television and film.

Career

Early career

Toussaint made her screen debut in 1983. In 1986 she played the role of widow of a man shot and killed by Boston cops in the television film A Case of Deadly Force based on the book by Lawrence O'Donnell. She later had a recurring role of Vera Williams in the ABC daytime soap opera, One Life to Live, and alongside stage career appeared in guest starring roles in series like 227 and Law & Order (as recurring defense lawyer Shambala Green), and acted in a number of television films in the 1990s.

Toussaint has made her film debut in the female lead role opposite Burt Reynolds in the crime comedy Breaking In (1989). The film received positive reviews from critics, but flopped in box office. In 1991 she appeared opposite Bruce Willis in Hudson Hawk, and later co-starred alongside Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds (1995). She also appeared in films Point of No Return (1993), Mother's Boys (1994), and Black Dog (1998). On television, Toussaint had regular roles in short-lived series Bodies of Evidence (CBS, 1992), Where I Live (ABC, 1993), Amazing Grace (NBC, 1995), and Leaving L.A. (ABC, 1997).

1998–2011

Toussaint had her biggest and leading role alongside Annie Potts in the Lifetime first original television drama series, Any Day Now. She starred in show as Rene Jackson, a successful African-American lawyer. The series has received critical acclaim for Toussaint's and Potts' acting performances and writing, but never had big ratings. In 2001, Toussaint was a promising contender for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series category, though she did not receive a nomination. She also was nominated five times for a NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series for her role. Any Day Now ended after four-season and 88 episodes.

From 2002 to 2004, Toussaint had regular role of Dr. Elaine Duchamps in the NBC police procedural, Crossing Jordan. In later years she guest-starred on Frasier, Judging Amy, The Closer, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, ER, and NCIS. She also was regular opposite Holly Hunter in the TNT crime drama Saving Grace as Capt. Kate Perry from 2007 to 2010. She also had a recurring roles of Amelia 'Yoga' Bluman in the ABC comedy series Ugly Betty in 2006, and as Bird Merriweather in the NBC drama Friday Night Lights (2009–11). Toussaint appeared as Jamie Foxx's character's mother in the 2009 drama The Soloist.

2012–present

In 2012, Toussaint received critical acclaim and was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Supporting Female for her performance as a hardworking mother who struggles to support her daughter's (Emayatzy Corinealdi) decision to put her life on hold to support her incarcerated husband (Omari Hardwick), of Middle of Nowhere, a drama film written and directed by Ava DuVernay. Toussaint was a promising contender for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress category in 2013, but she did not receive a nomination. In 2012, she also guest-starred in Shonda Rhimes' dramas Grey's Anatomy as doctor, and on Scandal, as a bereaved and betrayed pastor's wife. In 2013, she had a recurring role in season 3 of Dana Delany's series Body of Proof as Angela Martin, the new police chief and main villain. Later in 2013, she joined the cast of ABC Family drama series, The Fosters, as Sherri Saum's character mother. In show she reunited on-screen with Annie Potts in first time as of Any Day Now finale in 2002.

Toussaint starred in the second season of Netflix's original comedy-drama series, Orange Is the New Black in 2014. She played the role of Yvonne "Vee" Parker, the main antagonist of season two, described as a street-tough inmate who returns to jail after a long stint as a drug dealer. Her performance earned massive critical acclaim. In the series Toussaint, in her 50s, appeared nude on-screen for the first time in her career. For her performance, she won Critics' Choice Television Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series and Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series.

In 2014, Toussaint co-starred in Ava DuVernay's historical drama film Selma, playing Amelia Boynton Robinson, a leading civil rights activist who had a key role in efforts that led to passage of the Voting Rights Act, and who was the first African-American woman in Alabama to run for Congress. That same year, she was cast in the ABC fantasy-drama series Forever opposite Ioan Gruffudd and Alana de la Garza. The series was canceled after a single season. Toussaint co-starred in the comedy film Xmas, directed and written by Jonathan Levine, which was released on November 25, 2015. In 2015, she co-starred in Runaway Island and Sophie and the Rising Sun. Later that year, Toussaint was cast in Coco, a drama produced by Lionsgate, alongside rapper Azealia Banks. In June 2015, she joined the cast of the Fox comedy-drama Rosewood in the series regular role of the titular character's mother. In February 2016, Vee was ranked 28th on Rolling Stone's list of "40 Greatest TV Villains of All Time".

In March 2016, Toussaint was cast in her role as defense attorney Shambala Green, a role she originated on Law & Order in 1990, on the NBC legal drama Chicago Justice, that aired a backdoor pilot in Chicago P.D..

On August 14, 2017, it was announced by Deadline that Toussaint will join as a series regular in the third season of Into the Badlands. She will star in the role of Cressida, a self-styled Prophetess. In 2017, she went to star in the NBC drama pilot The Village. In 2019 she starred in Fast Color and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

Personal life

Toussaint has one daughter named Samara. One of Toussaint's grandparents was from Haiti, while the other was from Martinique. She had a blog at www.everydaylovelybylorraine.com.

[chiquitaspara-dupe]

Dear Paradise,

  Lately I’ve felt so overwhelmed by the conversations people have with me. The anxiety I’ve felt over the past three weeks has been unreal and uncontainable. The fear is REAL. What do I want to do with my life? How do I continue on in a life of pleasure-exploration when everyone and place is calling for me to survive? Whew. Can I get a cup of tea and an open yoga studio please? This breath-work is clogged underneath my medical mask. Not that a DIY “hazmat”, Ass-mat mask, or whatever you call it, will save me from my existential crisis. Bleh. Come on! How is the government going to stop me from living my life? Oh wait, I forgot I have rent due on the 5th… Yuck. 

  Any-who, I’m ready for a different conversation. Can we talk about the sun hiding for the past two weeks? Or how we’re going to self-sustain without a government? That would be nice. I really don’t want to hear about Italians singing on their front porch, when we could be brainstorming for the apocalypse! By the way, I learned that the word “apocalypse”, is just a made up word that really associates with the word “revelation”, which means to learn something that is life-changing. And so yes, I do want to talk about the potential knowledge coming my way! Woo-wee! I want it ma’am! I’m not isolated, except from yoga, but I am bored unintelligently. Can I have a cup of good ole’ wisdom, Mrs. United Nations? Thank you, skip the sugar, please. 

  I’ve looked briefly inside my mythology textbook, but I was too busy learning how to enjoy my food… And no, I’m not in school, I’m just nosy! I cooked a sheet pan full of starch and protein today and it was mildly delicious, not spiced enough for me to enjoy it without my full attention. Now, I’m just sitting here, sharing my stream of thoughts on a screen. I’m cool with it. Better than watching Ugly Betty until I finally smoke up the motivation to get ready for bed. Phew! No, I don’t smoke. Words are made up anyways. Don’t assume. Also, I should assume y’all didn’t misconstrue what I wrote. Accountability, folks! I choose to feel guilty and over-explain. What kind of accountant are you today? Comment below! Accounting isn’t just for money and cubicles! 

‘Til next time,

Chiquita in Para(Dupe)

[st-uh-jay]

So far on my Ugly Betty Rewatch.

I’ve realized this show is a tad bit problematic.

Why are all the black women love Interests crazy. Gabrielle Union was Wilhelmina’s mentally unstable sister and Daniels girlfriend. Octavia Spencer was Ignacio’s mentally ill immigration case worker. Abusing his status so she could date him.

That joke about starvation in Africa.

I hate how Betty would vent about her “ugliness” to Hilda and Hilda would never correct her and tell her she’s beautiful.

Henry was hella trifling. You have a whole ass pregnant ex girlfriend. Leave Betty alone. Then he has the nerve to get mad at Betty and Gio. You’re leaving to live a whole new life with your ex girlfriend and new baby. Gtfoh

The trans jokes about Alexis aren’t as horrible as I remember, but still yikes.

I REALLY love Claire Meade.

I think Claire and Yoga were more than friends 😏😏. I shipped it.

Bradford was a shitty husband and a horrible father. I don’t understand why Claire stayed with him. He literally left her in prison to rot and got engaged to Willie. Then on his death bed he says he always loved Claire more than the others. If you loved her so much why did you cheat and lie everyday.

[postguiltypleasures]

Farewell Ugly Betty

The second of my LiveJournal Archive, and the second and last dedicated to Ugly Betty. (I had to delate a link to a YouTube Playlist that no longer exists. From a cursory look through the archives, this is going to be a regular problem in reposting.) I had forgotten some plot lines I wrote about here, and I haven’t revisited the show, so I can’t revisit my opnions.

Originally Posted: Apr. 18th, 2010 at 4:35 PM

No point in denying it, I'm going to miss Ugly Betty. I don't feel at all sarcastic when I say it changed my life. Besides inspiring me to re-immerse myself in the Spanish language after retreating from all foreign language study for years (and thereby really influencing my taste in music) I really felt the show was there for me.

The quality of the show varied a lot. After the cancellation was announced many people tried to pin point where it went wrong, as if it could be revised and we are making a blueprint for future incarnation. But the truth is there was never a perfect point in the series from which the show eventually veered off track. Within the original there were several episodes that were to reliant on the formula set up in the pilot. The produces were aware of this, hence reshuffling the filler episode "SWAG" so it appears as a flashback in episode 11 instead of before episode 5 as it was obviously intended (Henry shows up for the first time in "SWAG", and becomes a love interest in "The Lyin', the Watch, and the Wardrobe".)

Ugly Betty belonged to a brand before it had an identity. In addition to being one version in what seems/ed like an endless copying or appropriating of a Colombian telenovela.  It probably is the one that makes the most radical changes from the story plot (Betty is not instantly smitten by her boss, no less socially adept ugly male friend, etc.) In the USA it also inspired a lot of comparisons to The Devil Wears Prada, Sex and the City and (in my head at least) The Gilmore Girls. People commented on how it pre-empted the TV version of Prada and came off as a sweet/wholesome version of Sex (I was just looking for something to replace Gilmore in its decline. When "Miss Patty" showed up as Wilhemina's housekeeper I flipped). It also got heralded as cross over of telenovela's to North American Mainstream. With all of those quickly made comparisons how does anything find it's own identity?

It's a struggle. If the first few episodes suffered from repetitive plotting, the inevitable move towards more ongoing plots instantly created new plot difficulties. The first questionable decision that the writers made was to have the mysterious woman communicating with Wilhemina turn out to be Daniel's supposedly deceased brother (who had really transitioned and came out a woman). We were led to believe she was the former editor in chief Fey Summers, and the change in direction was jarring. In some ways this felt like behind the scenes everyone thought, "the viewers expect us to zig, so we should zag". I wanted to believe that they could pull this twist off and seem like they were in some Pedro Almodovár film. It did not work that way. (There is probably a reason Almodovár never dabbled in television or set anything in the Sates with a mostly American cast). They did not. Rebecca Romijn was wasted for the better part of two years in an under-developed role.

Alex-reborn-as-Alexis was not the worst of the offensively misdirected plots. In season one there was Betty's father Ignacio's psycho case worker "helping" him become a US citizen while breaking with reality, not to mention the whole Ignacio killing his late wife's first husband backstory which really had no where to go. Season two brought about TWO pregnancy plots purely for purpose of manipulation, and a love triangle that dominated the season and dragged. There are more awful plot points I could delve into, but I would rather focus on the things I love about the show.

While there were some terrible plotting moments, here the show was able to keep some wonderful scenes. It was always colorful, often witty, and most of the time you felt for the characters. Plot points involving paintball wars, Wilhemina and Bradford's non wedding, Claire's escape from prison with an inmate named Yoga, were all groan worthy, but had funny moments and seemed to move on quickly enough.

Season three seems to be where a lot of the audience left. Opinions on it are pretty divisive. They writers toned back a lot of the more farfetched plots from the second season. They cut the two male characters who were vying for Betty's affection, which some viewers saw as a betrayal of the plots on which they invested so much time. Some of the attempts at more real world stories were uncomfortably current. Meade Publications was hit by the same financial crisis as most of the print media with no end in sight. The new CFO robbed all of Meade publications assists reducing Daniel and Wilhemina to beg for a government bail out. When that failed they had to find a Warren Buffet like billionaire to invest in them. Betty got accepted into a prestigious school training people to be magazine editors. It was supposed to be a sure fire way to launch her career, except the story never forgot that print publications are failing all around us. During this period Betty's father had a heart attack and Daniel met, fell in love and married a woman with terminal cancer. (I loved the Daniel and Molly romance- the fact that they made her terminally ill seemed like a cop out). It was not escapism, and might be more than some wanted to engage with.

The show was really toeing the line with what it was: soap opera? soap opera parody? real world based drama through soap opera lenses? The last seems most accurate but hardest to describe. It is even harder to play out. In some ways it only really got it's footing in this quasi genre late season three through season four. But by that point the show lost enough of its audience that it was more of a cult favorite than a national phenomenon the network hoped for (and seemed to get) early in the series. The show got the opportunity to wrap up the plots for the most part. (My favorite of Betty's boyfriends, Matt, was the only one of her serious boyfriends not to return to wrap up the storyline. It was disappointing, but understandable. He would have to become involved with Tyler, his and Daniel's recently appeared half brother, and they really did not have the time to bring in the drama of the other side of Tyler's biological family.) Everyone was given a happy ending, though some were rushed. (Marc falling in love with Troy was ultimately sweet, but did not feel earned). Betty was no longer defined as being "Ugly" and Daniel was free to pursue and discover what work would be a real passion in him (and possibly pursue Betty in a way that really might have satisfied everyone who wanted to see them together and those who did not).

Ultimately the show was about finding out how you make your identity. It was as much of a struggle behind the scenes as it was for the character. In some ways I have never seen a show that was so honest about it. I will always be glad to have seen it.

[thisbibliomaniac]

@official-liberty-prime okay first, why did you send me fan mail? Second, HOW did you send me fan mail??? My darling Bri beat you to the first question Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No. Not for any reason, I just don't. 3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in. Why wouldn't your sheet be tucked in? 4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Hahaha no 5: Do you like to use post-it notes? I go through a stack of post it notes in a week at work easily 6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Oh yeah 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bear 8: Do you have freckles? Only a few :( and mostly on my arms 9: Do you always smile for pictures? I have to. The alternative is even more horrifying 10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Loud chewing 11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I try not to because it drives me crazy. If Im not mindful enough to force myself to stop, I count everything until I give myself a headache 12: Have you ever peed in the woods? No 13: What about pooped in the woods? Nope 14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Not really a dancer 15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Noooo. Someone else might have touched them. 16: How many people have you slept with this week? Hahahaahahahahah 17: What size is your bed? Small 18: What is your Song of the week? Tightrope from The Greatest Showman. I adore it 19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Sure 20: Do you still watch cartoons? Yes 21: Whats your least favorite movie? I hate a lot of movies 22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? You're not getting my treasure 23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size? Ha no 24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I don't eat chicken nuggets 25: What is your favorite food? Buffalo chicken and ranch 26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? I have a list of about thirty 27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Hasn't happened 28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yes for like six months 29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Nooooo 30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? When my irl friend and I were still pen pals, so before we used email 31: Can you change the oil on a car? No XD but I know a lot more about it than I used to! Upstairs boss and I took an ASE certification practice test, and did pretty well 32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Heck no 33: Ever ran out of gas? Nope. 34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Penn Station Italian 35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Nothing. Breakfast foods are bad. 36: What is your usual bedtime? 11 37: Are you lazy? No 38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A handful of things. Holly Hobby was my favorite though. My grandmother made a costume for me, and Raggedy Ann for my sister 39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? No idea 41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Not intentionally. I keep getting free people magazine in the mail though??? 42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos 43: Are you stubborn? Yes 44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? LENO 45: Ever watch soap operas? Just Ugly Betty 46: Are you afraid of heights? Maybe? 47: Do you sing in the car? Nonstop 48: Do you sing in the shower? No 49: Do you dance in the car? Yes 50: Ever used a gun? Yes 51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? My website photo when I worked for a photographer 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? I looove musicals 53: Is Christmas stressful? Yes 54: Ever eat a pierogi? Yes 55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry, the way my dad makes it 56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher, vet, Ken Ham 57: Do you believe in ghosts? No 58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Daily 59: Take a vitamin daily? Yep 60: Wear slippers? No 61: Wear a bath robe? No 62: What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants / yoga pants, and a tank top 63: First concert? Chris Tomlin 64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart 65: Nike or Adidas? Walmart shoes 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Jalapeno Cheetos 67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither 68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No 69: Ever take dance lessons? Square dancing 70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Idk, cops are hot? 71: Can you curl your tongue? Yes 72: Ever won a spelling bee? No, close 73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes 74: Own any record albums? No 75: Own a record player? No 76: Regularly burn incense? No 77: Ever been in love? Not with a real person 78: Who would you like to see in concert? Needtobreathe 79: What was the last concert you saw? Probably the fest? 80: Hot tea or cold tea? Hot tea! 81: Tea or coffee? Tea!!!!!! 82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? I love snickerdoodles. Love to make them too 83: Can you swim well? Well enough 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes 85: Are you patient? I guess 86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Dj. Cheaper. 87: Ever won a contest? Yes 88: Ever have plastic surgery? No 89: Which are better black or green olives? Neither 90: Can you knit or crochet? Yes, but I'm much better at crochet 91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room 92: Do you want to get married? Sure 93: If married, how long have you been married? Not 94: Who was your HS crush? This guy 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Hahaahhahaah no 96: Do you have kids? No 97: Do you want kids? Yes 98: Whats your favorite color? PINK 99: Do you miss anyone right now? Yes

[entirebodyexercise]

Rebecca Romijn`s secrets to health, happiness and longevity

She's gone from the blue-skinned Mystique, whooping Wolverine's butt in X-Men, to starring as Alexis Meade, a transsexual socialite on Ugly Betty. One point's for sure, Rebecca Romijn has a thing for off-beat roles.

Come August 27, the mom of 4-year-old twin ladies, Charlie Tamara Tulip and also Dolly Rebecca Rose (spouse as well as daddy is actor Jerry O'Connell), plays a private detective in Showcase's scripted drama, King & Maxwell, being shot in Vancouver, B.C.

Romijn's personality, Michelle Maxwell, is disorderly as well as untidy (her car and also her boat are actually full of garbage). Does Romijn associate? "My papa has pictures of my teen space that should remain concealed," she claims. "I'm much neater as an adult than I was as a youngster and as a young adult."

OK, so Maxwell is a slob, however she's also meticulous at her work. In the third episode, Maxwell shoves her companion King from the path of an oncoming an auto and quickly lands atop him claiming: "See? Alpha canine." We enjoy a female who takes charge.

We lately spoke with Romijn about her health and fitness regimen, what makes her delighted as well as how she indulges:

Q: What's your early morning routine? A: I constantly rise before my children so I could get a cup of coffee in me. I feed the three dogs and two cats. I make the youngsters breakfast and also finish up eating anything they have actually left behind, which is usually an assortment of berries and also clambered eggs. I get them off to camp or pre-school and also then I work out. I jump on the elliptical or go for a trek with the pet dogs. Then I go to Pilates.

Q: What's the main thing that's constantly in your refrigerator? A: It's been coconut water for a long, long period of time however lately I've found dark chocolate almond milk as well as it is my jam! I place it in my coffee every early morning as well as I cannot live without it.

Q: Do you regularly see any kind of health and wellness specialists? A: Just my gynecologist, once a year.

Q: When do you feel your absolute finest and also healthiest? A: Either after a 90-minute Bikram yoga session or after swimming. It's due to the deep breathing. When I take a breath deeply is when I feel best.

Q: That's your physical fitness inspiration? A: My husband.

Q: Exactly what are your happiness non-negotiables? A: I'm eating a bunch of chocolate-covered ginger now. As well as I'm a level playing field Real Housewives watcher, yet my favourites are Atlanta as well as Beverly Hills. Plus one of my pet cats resting on my side of the bed.

Q: Just how do you manage the pressures of Hollywood around body image? A:
 Continuouslying exercise regardless of what. This goes back to breathing deeply and getting oxygen right into your blood and doing whatever you could to really feel good. It's all you can do.

Q: What's the very best advice you've ever before been given? A: My mommy always informed me to take my vitamin C.

Q: Just what are your desert-island-beauty-musts? A: O-Gloss lip gloss by Smashbox (it resembles a lip balm) and sunscreen (credit amy here). I make use of YOURx Skin Care products.

Q: You can fit one even more thing in your travel suitcase, is it Lululemon or Louis Vuitton? A: Lululemon.

Be certain to enjoy Romijn on her brand-new program, premiering August 27. Click on this link for more celeb health tricks.

[alivingfire]

Hi Rachel, do you have any Sterek fic recs?

YES. i did one rec here, just in case you missed it, but here are some more i’ve read recently. (this is just a mix of canon compliant/AUs, but if you want a specific trope or something, let me know) 

→ The Morning When It’s Clear“She makes me have dinner with her and the Sheriff every week,” Derek admits. “She keeps saying I don’t eat well enough. Too much fast food, she says. I keep reminding her I’m a werewolf and then I get a lecture about cholesterol. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Did you accidentally puppy-dog eye her?” Scott asks seriously.

“I – no? What the hell, no.” He levels a glare at Scott. “And dog jokes aren’t funny.”

Scott laughs. “You totally did. Oh my God. That’s priceless.”

Or: Derek feels, basically.

→ Muérdago"Mistletoe was often considered a pest that kills trees and devalues natural habitats, but was recently recognized as an ecological keystone species, an organism that has a disproportionately pervasive influence over its community. In Norse myth, an arrow made of mistletoe was the only thing that was able to kill the god Balder. The goddess Frigg had asked all other things to vow not to hurt Balder, but she had ignored the mistletoe because it seemed too small to be dangerous."

→ oh what a shame (y’all know me and my love for demon aus)He never expected it would be easy, trying to be human, but he never expected it would be this goddamn difficult either.

→ (Sacred) In the Ordinary ***SUPER NEW FAVE***The Pack, after college, graduate school and the starting of careers, comes back to Beacon Hills. Nothing's gotten less complicated after all this time.

→ When Rome’s In Ruins (We Are the Lions) (i’ve never read worldbuilding like this, honestly)Humankind has turned arena battles between supernatural creatures into its largest form of entertainment. Stiles Stilinski is a well-known warden who comes to arena-fighter Derek Hale to make him an offer.

→ state of readiness (series)After barely defeating the Alpha pack, Derek is determined to give his own pack members the one-on-one training they need to ensure each is ready for the next enemy. He sets out with a goal of eliminating everyone's biggest weakness, but if he thought his pack would let self-improvement pass their Alpha by, he's sadly mistaken. When Stiles is chosen to mentor Derek, things between them change forever.

→ Last Lovesong of a Dying LemonStiles' Jeep keeps breaking down. Derek is a mechanic.

→ A Life Less OrdinaryIt takes a few years but eventually they manage to agree on something; Derek Hale is an asshole, and Stiles Stilinski is in love with him.

→ Not Like Bond & Moneypenny(AKA, the Ugly Betty AU where Stiles is totally Betty)

Stiles thinks he’s finally getting a break when a job at the sleek, sophisticated, Alpha Magazine opens up - but soon realises he’s not going to be writing anything and instead is playing tutor-slash-babysitter to their new Editor-in-Chief. Derek’s spoiled, grumpy, in way over his head...and so painfully attractive it makes Stiles want to lick his face. So there’s very little choice in the matter.

“Totally not like that,” he maintains, “It’s not like we’re Bond and Moneypenny.”

Scott gives him an excited grin, chuckling. “Dude, you’re totally his Miss Moneypenny!” he says, eyes wide like the world just finally started to make sense. “You’re the only one who won’t sleep with him even though you’re dying to.”

→ #omegaproblemsStiles didn't need an alpha. He might want one, though.

→ Such Things Don’t Bear Repeating (very dark, but i love it) A wizard, a wolf, and a boy. Or: spells and magic can never truly substitute for strength. (Harry Potter AU, in triplicate.)

→ How to Be A Normal PersonInstead he sits for a moment, looking at the empty search box, fingers on the home row the way his mother taught him. He thinks about that, and about the hole in the wall he’d lived with for so long, and the way Isaac had grinned at him last night when he’d finally gotten around to plugging the refrigerator in.

He finds himself typing in, “how to be a normal person.”

→ Binomial CoefficientsIn which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

→ Around the BendThe first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can't stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family's gym. Stiles thinks Derek's a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

[bomba-tea]

stupid rapidfire HEADCANONS, main-verse ;;

under a cut for length!

rides an orange sherbet cruiser bike. yes, it has a wicker basket on the front, a rear rack, as well as a bell, because of course there’s a bell.

is an only child (she’s spoiled). has always wanted younger siblings.

her parents live in san fransokyo, so she lives at home with them in order to save money (also because she loves and is close to her parents).

her favorite animals just might be guinea pigs (and rats). she would describe herself as a dog person.

she prefers tea to coffee, though drinks the latter when she’s particularly stressed (cuban coffee, and it’s a dangerous combination).

honey visits her maternal grandparents in japan in the summers.

her spoken japanese is MUCH better than her written/reading japanese. 

her DND playable analogue is a gnome bard. she calls them chibi and thinks they’re cute.

when she’s having trouble working out a solution to a problem (in the lab or out), she bakes, and while things are in the oven, she does yoga. when that fails to help, she gardens with wasabi.

she’s always asking her friends to model for her boutique.

honey’s a casual gamer. her 3DS has the isabelle case, and her favorite game is happy home designer. she’s a fan of low stress, collecting games. she never forgot how to play DDR. 

she was banned from an arcade once for being “too good” at the claw machine game (the ban has long since been lifted).

the first time she had a panic attack was after tadashi died. 

her favorite show is ugly betty. her favorite anime are revolutionary girl utena and princess jellyfish. she has a huge soft spot for astro boy, though.

her favorite manga growing up was dr slump. 

ways to tell she’s sad: watches ghibli movies. only her parents are aware of this. she can’t choose a favorite, though she’ll say it’s a toss-up between castle in the sky and the cat returns. 

honey can sit through splatter and slasher horror movies without flinching. 

thinking too deeply about space frightens her. 

still wonders what her life would've been like had she won the nation's got flavor.

[whispersofquietconversation]

Help.

What is the midday for, if not to think of meals, nutrition and a sound night’s sleep?

A sound night’s sleep running fast from a bed where she lies open eye and empty night.

Depression had been misconstrued and parents love their children but don’t listen.

Extremes screams from media while our daughter eats cereal like every other daughter eats cereal.

Our daughter goes, lives, smiles and comes right back.

And then our daughter eats her carrots and peas like every other daughter eats her carrots and peas.

Our daughter has full pink cheeks and the skin on her wrist is peach coloured and intact.

My best friend likes me because I am never sad. My best friend won’t listen to me because I am never sad.

I don’t want to lie so I won’t lie. I am not happy. And I am not sad.

I am somewhere between true love and slit wrists.

I don’t laugh because nothing makes me laugh.

I look happy, because nothing makes me scream either.

So every day, you pass me by. On the bus, at school, by the shampoo aisle.

And you don’t hear me scream for I don’t scream for I have nothing to scream about.

I have read three books in the past one month. I do yoga in the morning.

I walk to the school and a girl named Mia sits next to me in Biology.

I don’t like pitching but I can run around the field at a pace that doesn’t pull me towards, or push me behind the average.

Average, these past few days I have been feeling; Average, these past few days I have been thinking;

You know what is the worst thing about average? The guilt you feel, for being human.

I was bullied and hazed. Boys at the field called me spotty and ugly and when I shouted back, they just laughed. I feel angry.

I was molested by my handsome gym instructor whose wife was Russian and beautiful but frigid. I feel violated.

I was told by my boss that I was too pretty to be into girls. I feel offended.

I just got home. I feel pain. (..)

What?

No Betty Lue, you just heard wrong. I meant I just got hernia. I feel pain.

A rape victim, a psychotic, a bully, are all ostriches for our flock of Zebras.

Zebras have jobs, relationships, people, food and rest.

Ostriches are giant and can’t fly away. And when they squawk, we cock our ears and nod our unified heads in sympathy.

You don’t need to be an ostrich to be an animal. You need to be an animal to be an animal.

You don’t need to have a stone in your kidney to not drink water. You don’t need to tell them why you need help.

You don’t need the wires of your brain to stain into static to go into therapy.  

You don’t need to be abnormal to need help. You don’t need to be normal to need help. You need help to need help.

You need to be in pain to be in pain. You don’t need to not be fine to need my help.

Take it from me. I am just fine. And I need your help.

 - Sehri

[bitterrants]

The Top 5 Most Annoying Girls You’ll Meet on Long Island

I’ve lived here a long time. My whole life. That’s 26 and a half years of encountering every kind of Long Islander out there. The South Shore girls with accents so thick, you could close your eyes and believe Theresa Caputo is in front of you. There’s also the North Shore girls that are lazy and privileged who spend most of their time discussing Summer plans than anything else. But, before I begin I must warn you. You may be one of these girls. So here’s the DISCLAIMER: Every girl has probably fallen under one or more of these categories of ladies.

Let’s start off with the most obvious girl. We all know her. We love her for her intel and gossip on who’s fat from high school. She’s...

The Girl That Says “Like” After Every Word aka The Valley Girl

She like can’t like get through a sentence like without overusing like the word “like.” It kills me. PAINS me to say it, but I have been guilty of this trait of repeatedly saying “like” once or more in a few sentences. Over the years, I’ve tried to kill the habit and have been successful for the most part. Every girl has done it. It’s hard to get out what exactly you mean and the point you’re trying to make without using the word “like” and without caffeine in my case. She always knows who someone is dating, what’s going on with the people in your group of friends. On the other hand, you can get the other broad end of the spectrum..she’s just an idiot you befriended and can’t seem to get rid of; Either way, you know one of these girls. 

The next girl isn’t so obvious unless you’re close friends with her and we all have this girl in a group of friends. She’s...

The Miserable Single Girl aka The MOANa Lisa

She’s fun loving, but only when it’s man hunting night. She’s your best friend, but she’ll constantly complain about the single life. I’m definitely guilty of complaining about being single and yes it can get lonely, but this girl is a broken record of “No one likes me” “Remember that guy I dated...” and “What’s wrong with me?” Every girl is guilty of saying these lines. I definitely have. This girl repeatedly talks about how no one likes her and she can’t hold on to a boyfriend. She’ll obsess over every date wondering if this guy will stick around. She’s a hopeless romantic and a Disney princess at heart, but has unrealistic expectations about relationships and men. 

The third girl is the one every girl hates, but also strives to be at the same time. She’s...

The Most Beautiful Girl You’ve Ever Seen aka Miss Steal Your Man

You may have seen her working out at the gym or even in the office. Maybe even was caught staring at her because she’s so beautiful and it’s just not fair. God had to have made something wrong with her to balance the equation, but she could be perfect and that could send you in a hateful spiral of bad thoughts like,“Why the fuck am I so ugly.” She’s skinny, fit, has white teeth, luscious hair and if she has a decent personality with brains then you’re shit out of luck, lady. I mean lesbihonest, if I was a dude I’d date her and if I had a boyfriend I’d keep him far away from her. You don’t even want to be friends with this girl because you’ll always get guys coming up to you and asking if she’s single and how they can get it in. 

The fourth girl is the one that just grinds your gears and may cause you to speak up and say “SHUT THE FUCK UP, No one asked you.” She’s...

The Attention Seeker (Attention Whore) aka Two Cents Tina

She’s the girl that feeds off of others attention like a leech. She has to be included in everything. She NEEDS to be heard, but what she’s saying isn’t relevant, funny, or anything but a waste of air. She’ll stick her big and fugly nose in other people’s business and talk over you, as if you’re fucking invisible or mute. She’s like a little puppy that won’t stop following you around and nipping at your shoelaces. She’s also a shit stirrer. She wants to wreak havoc on all those around. To her, drama is exciting and you pity her for it. Tough love, is what this bitch needs. She’s rude and obnoxious. She has her fucking cell phone on with her keyboard volume at max before a yoga class or at the doctor’s office because she needs to know everyone’s shit. She’s the absolute worst and I strongly advise you to avoid this human.

The final girl is the one that I encounter frequently and I think it’s because we live on such a heavily populated island. She’s...

The Girl Who Doesn’t Understand Person Space aka Bumpin’ Betty

I encounter this bitch everywhere. For strangers, I’ve been with them in yoga class or any type of group activity class, in line at the grocery store, in line to get coffee. You name it. She thinks that by standing so fucking close to you, it’ll make the line move quicker. Well, you’re strongly mistaken, bitch. As Ludacris once put it, “GET BACK! You don’t know me like that.” As far as friends go, she’s the girl that has to be like an inch away from your face when telling a story. Girl, I don’t need to see how many teeth you have filled and what color your eye liner is, please BACK off. I can smell what you ate for lunch. She’ll get a little drunk and it only gets worse. Now she’s bumping into you, touching your face and practically rubbing up against your arm while telling you she’s misses hanging out with you. I know I’m great, but dude, tell me from a distance. There should be a foot between us and that’s being generous. She’s your friend though and you love her. To tell her that she needs to take a few steps back would only piss her off and start a fight, so you continue to get bumped and bruised while in her presence, but limit the amount of times you see her. 

I have so many other girl categories that annoy me and would annoy anyone really. Just remember, this is all for fun. I’m not trying to put anyone down because I can tell you now, I fall into all these categories, except the last one because I strongly hate being touched...

:D