#yoda is the worst teacher ever

[burnwater13]

Grogu looking at Master Yoda's activated lightsaber, in the school building on Ossus. Luke is holding the weapon (out of frame). Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 6, From the Desert Comes a Stranger. Calendar by DateWorks.

Grogu tried to be attentive while Luke was showing him Master Yoda’s lightsaber. He tried not to just grab it and say ‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere!’. He tried not to blame his padawan for the various shortcomings in his training. He tried a lot of things. But only one thing really worked. Knowing that his choice was already made. 

Because lying on the dirt floor of the school building, near the box that held Master Yoda’s lightsaber, was a beskar shirt. A gift from the Mandalorian. A gift whose significance Luke would never understand. It told Grogu that he belonged somewhere. He had a family. A clan. A people who would defend him and would consider him one of their own. It was an amazing gift. 

He knew what the lightsaber was and what it signified. Going backwards. Returning to the past. Picking up where other people left off. And stepping away from all he done and who he had become. He suspected that Luke didn’t really understand that either. 

After all, how did Luke even become a Jedi? He certainly hadn’t been at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. It was doubtful to Grogu that he’d been to any of the Jedi temples anywhere in the galaxy. Luke had mentioned that both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda had trained him, but Grogu had known when they both became one with the Force. Luke could have only known them for a very short period of time. He wasn’t sure why that mattered to him, but it did. 

Luke wasn’t his master and while Grogu was pretty sure he was supposed to be Luke’s Master, the younger man seemed pretty oblivious to his attempts to assert his authority. That was just the sort of thing that other Masters would have helped him resolve if they were at a functional Jedi temple. But those days were long gone and Grogu doubted that they could be revived this way - with an ultimatum. 

He understood that Luke was frustrated with him. He thought Grogu didn’t have the experience and wisdom to protect himself and his friends from the people who would hurt them. It saddened Grogu to think that Luke was so inexperienced. He didn’t step back and really consider what Grogu had been through. What he had to learn to do to avoid detection by the Inquisitors. What he had to do just to survive without his friends and teachers in those first awful years. But then how could Luke understand?

Luke had grown up on Tatooine under Obi-Wan Kenobi’s watchful eye. He had friends he never knew give up everything to protect him. He’d been able to find his family and forge the friendships he wanted and still call himself a Jedi. And he still mourned a man who had committed atrocities that no one would ever be able to explain to him.  Or want to explain. 

Grogu knew that Ahsoka Tano knew the truth about Luke’s father. As had Obi-Wan Kenobi. Grogu knew the truth as well. Anakin Skywalker  had fallen to the Darkside and that fall had caused the fall of the Jedi Order. 

Okay. Not all by himself. Emperor Palpatine had certainly been a big part of it. He’d filled Anakin’s head full of nonsense. (Master Windu did not know how to whisper, even when he was in a room full of younglings). He’d stoked the worst emotions in Anakin; his fears, jealousies, anger, impatience, arrogance, entitlement, and more. And, as if that hadn’t been enough, he’d done the work so methodically, so thoroughly, it was impossible for Anakin to seek help or turn back. He didn’t just fall. He was lost. 

So how was Grogu supposed to handle Luke? He’d been impatient. He’d been fearful. He wore the colors of the Sith and hid his impairment as if people wouldn’t notice that black glove all the time. Grogu had tried humoring him, but that obviously hadn’t worked. There they were, sitting on the dirt floor and looking at the lightsaber that had been built by an ancient Jedi who was well known to both of them. Yet Luke was acting like Grogu didn’t even know who Master Yoda was. Uff.

Yet, there was the beskar shirt. It wasn’t humming. It didn’t depend on rituals or the search for the perfect components for it to work. Grogu just had to wear it. It was a symbol of love and acceptance from a person who had also received such a gift and it had been just as unexpected. It didn’t ‘call’ to him. It didn’t whisper in his ear. It didn’t make him anything but happy to see it. A promise of a future that might be dangerous, but it would be full of connection. Full of attachment. Full of a potential that the Jedi had taken for granted, belonging. 

Grogu belonged with the Mandalorian. He already knew how to control his powers. He wasn’t a danger to anyone (no matter what Kara Dune said). If he took an action, it would be deliberate. Luke had judged him by standards that didn’t apply to him and that spoke volumes. Grogu listened to that voice and then replied, as thoughtfully as he could. 

He just hoped the Mandalorian was ready to start his next phase of training. Din Djarin had spent a good amount of time being a bounty hunter. Now he just needed to learn how to be a Jedi-lorian. If Tarre Vizsla could do it, Grogu was sure his friend was halfway there already. He already had the Darksaber. Easy peasy. 

[dragon-of-the-soutn]

I love ruining the life of my funky little Jedi oc.

Because really she should have gotten Qui Gon Jinn or someone Qui Gon Jinn adjacent as her Master. Because she is on exactly the same wave length of crazy as he is but in a completely different way.

But she didn’t, she got Mace Windu instead and it’s the funniest thing ever.

Because don’t be fooled, she may seem sweet and kind and she may look like she wouldn’t hurt a fly but really she’s bonkers. This is the same kids whose best friend in the whole world is Anakin Skywalker who shamelessly enables all her actions.

This is the kid who spent her youth sneaking into the restricted section of the Temple library to find books on the Sith. Not because she wanted to go over to the dark side or be evil, but because she firmly believed that if she could just understand what made the Sith tick then she could win them back to the light through the power of friendship. Once she gets a grip on there philosophy it’s over, anyone can be redeemed through the power of being nice.

But this does mean she needs to sneak aboard that Jedi Archeology expedition to the Sith ruins they just found because she’s 100% certain that if she just got a grip on Sith architecture better than her 12 step plan to defeating the sith through the power of hugs could be implemented.

She is also the single worst lightsaber dualist the Jedi Order had possibly ever seen. Through a combination of simply being bad at it and ‘but master I don’t want to hurt people’ her teachers have given up hope.

Which is why Yoda rubbing his hands together and cackling to himself is like: needs to lighten up Windu does, and needs to calm down the youngling does. Excellent plan I have!

Which is how we end up with world’s grumpiest Master and his sunshine but secretly crazy Padawan my beloved.

Mace in the worlds most exhausted tone for the 900th time: Padawan you do know that if you ever met a Sith they would try to kill you? And not feel any remorse because they’re Sith?!

Her beaming like a sun with the most honest and endearing big eyed innocent expression: Yes but that why we need the 12 step plan! Don’t you see Master, we can help them feel remorse and become better people through kindness and compassion! It may take time but it will be worth it in the end and really, isn’t that what being a Jedi is all about?

Mace: oh force.

Yoda is somewhere cackling manically in the background.

Don’t worry, they actually balance one another out really well it just takes them both a little while to figure that out.

[phoenixkaptain]

Do you think Yoda saw all of his past students in Luke?

He saw that rage and unquenchable desire for a system corrupted to be changed, just like Dooku? He saw that peace and patience and desire to learn that Qui-Gon had? The same sass and empathy that Obi-Wan held? The same desire to live up to the people who came before him, just like Ahsoka?

And, of course, he saw Anakin there. In blue eyes and lopsided grin. In the affectionate touch to a droid. In the raw power, the untapped potential that could sway to the light or the dark so easily.

Do you think he saw the best and worst of them all? Do you think he looked at Luke and remembered training Dooku? Do you think he saw Luke heading in the direction of a maverick and missed Qui-Gon? Do you think he watched Luke grow and learn and all he could think about was that pure, uncorrupted kid from Tatooine? The kid who wanted to free slaves, the kid who fell in love hard and fast, the kid whose trust was hardwon, the kid who grew up into the antithesis of everything he once was?

Do you ever wonder what was going through Yoda’s mind on long nights? When Luke would get impatient and storm off, only to return a few moments later, calm and ready to try again. Do you think he held onto that fear, the fear that stuck with him for so long, that yet another member of his lineage would die before their time or turn to the Dark Side or just leave entirely?

Do you ever think of Yoda trying to hide things from Luke, only to get tired of it? He told Luke about his sister. The one secret that would have died with him. Artoo can’t tell anybody. Everyone else who knows - Padme, Bail, Obi-Wan - is dead. They could have just left him in the dark. They could have taken that secret and not let it potentially sway Luke’s emotions one way or the other.

That was the plan, wasn’t it? Obi-Wan is surprised when he finds out that Yoda told Luke. The plan had to have been to not tell him, to never tell him, to never risk Luke forming an unhealthy attachment to his sister that would lead him down the path of the Dark Side. That would never start Leia on the path of becoming a Jedi, meaning she would never even be at risk.

But, Yoda was dying. He was dying and he had so long to think of all the things he should have done differently. He was dying and he looked up at Luke, who they were putting the weight of the world on. They were telling Luke that the future of the galaxy was entirely on his shoulders. The sale of absolutely everyone was on him and him alone. They told him he was the last Jedi.

So Yoda must have looked up and seen that pressure. That loneliness. The Jedi of old had large communities. They lived and breathed and grew with each other. They never felt alone, because they always had someone to turn to, someone to talk to, someone they trusted to keep their head above water.

And here they were, leaving Luke alone. Telling him to rebuild the Jedi Order. Telling him to kill his own father. Telling him to kill the Emperor, but not out of anger or hatred or guilt.

Yoda figured out that this would just make it all happen again. Dooku turned because he didn’t trust the Jedi Order and he felt alone. Anakin turned because he didn’t trust the Jedi Order and he felt alone. If Luke was sent to face off against two of the most powerful Force-users, both of whom are Sith, then he would only lose faith in Yoda and Obi-Wan, and he would feel all alone, and he would turn to the Dark Side.

I think Yoda told Luke about Leia out of a desire to give Luke that support system. The Jedi all had bonds with each other, with their teachers and students, but even without bonds, they were still functionally telepaths. They were empaths. They needed a strong support system to be there when the weight got too much to bear. When the darkness of the galaxy weighed on them, when the failures of the past haunted them, when they felt so lost and confused and empty, they had each other. And that’s what Yoda was giving Luke.

He was trying to say, “Even without your father, you won’t be alone. Even without me or Obi-Wan, you won’t be alone. You’ll always have another person, a person who can and has built you up and kept your head above water. A person who you’ve done the same for. You support each other, you’ve supported each other for years now, and you will always continue to support each other.”

Luke and Leia aren’t “attached” to each other. They’re each others’ safety net. They need each other, but not out of attachment. They need each other as everyone needs someone or something to remind them of all the good things in the world when things get rough. They remind each other that they need to fight, to live on. They remind each other that the galaxy is good at its core, filled with good people who just need some help.

They remind each other that they aren’t alone. They trust each other. They don’t need the power of the Dark Side.

And that’s why it’s so important to remember that Yoda told Luke there was another Skywalker. Yoda, who has been against attachment since the beginning, is the one who risks Luke getting attached. It’s important because this is a major character moment for Yoda!

He sees them. All of them. Dooku felt alone and left them behind to try and feel power to feel safe. Qui-Gon died alone, with only Obi-Wan there to help him, far away from the Jedi. Obi-Wan died alone. Anakin felt alone and abandoned and wanted power to feel safe. Ahsoka felt alone and abandoned and left the Order, because she no longer trusted them. They all lost it, that safety net, those people who were always around them to keep them above water, that support system that reminded them that they weren’t alone and they would never be abandoned and —

Don’t you think Yoda blames himself?

His own Padawan felt like he had no choice but to leave. Obi-Wan feared attachment out of fear of being cast aside, of being abandoned. Anakin fought that desire for attachment, that desire for someone to be there when he fell, and he when he finally got even a hint of it, he hid it out of fear of it being taken away and him being abandoned for having needed it in the first place.

Of course Yoda blames himself. He outlived all of them. He’s far older than them. And his own fear of his loss overpowering him, the fear that watching everyone he loves die over and over again beause of how much longer he’ll live than any of them, is what kept his Lineage from having those safety nets in place. Those support beams.

He looks at Luke and he sees that rage that Dooku had, that eagerness to learn that Qui-Gon had, that empathy that Obi-Wan had, that innocent desire to help that Ahsoka had—

And he sees that little boy from Tatooine. The one who grew up into a monster. The one who grew distorted and disfigured and who hated them all and tore them all down. That possibility lives within Luke to. The overwhelming weight of responsibility put on one person’s shoulders, the same weight that Palpatine used to manipulate Anakin into believing that none of the Jedi could ever help or understand him.

Yoda tells Luke about Leia. He isn’t specific, he doesn’t name a name, but he knows he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t want Luke to feel lost and abandoned and alone. He wants Luke to feel strong. He gives Luke that support beam. That attachment that could so quickly overwhelm him or become unhealthy. He gives Luke this because Luke trusts him, and he doesn’t want Luke to feel like he can’t trust him.

He doesn’t want any Jedi to feel alone. He doesn’t want to see them fall to the same things the Jedi in the past did.

But most importantly, Yoda cared for the Jedi. All of them, and especially his own students. He feels their loss, even lightyears away. He wouldn’t have felt the loss of life if he didn’t care for them, not from such a far distance. And he wouldn’t have been as affected by it if he didn’t care about them. He cared about the Jedi, about his students and his Lineage and even about the little runt that Qui-Gon brought back from Tatooine.

He cares about Luke. He has so much faith in Luke. He doesn’t want Luke to die like the others. He doesn’t want Luke to die alone and feeling abandoned.

Yoda gave Luke that attachment. Because he didn’t want Luke to drown under the weight of everything they were expecting of him.

[reconstructwriter]

Had Another Breakdown and Watched Attack of the Clones

And wow, what a B-Movie title but I’m already committed to this terrible life decision so I might as well continue. Got through the Phantom Menace so how much worse can this be?

Warning! Another long post! Also tw for Attack of the Clones shit including genocide and slavery.

The Watto scene: Not only does it double down on Watto as a Jewish stereotype – seriously, WHY?!? – but a scene where a former slave meets their enslaver after ten years of growing up and mystic training with a laser sword? I expected a lot more. Watto should’ve voided his bowels because this has to be Worst Case Scenario for a slaver! At best he was a little ‘nervous friendly’. And Anakin is already well-established as ‘man-child who Loses His Shit at the drop of a hat’. Like dude, where’s your angst and teenage fits now cause boy does this situation fit the bill! But nope, NPC fulfills their NPC duty and off they go.

Fanon Anakin vs Canon Anakin: I was introduced to the former and slowly learned what he’s really like and oh wow is he such a terrible mess of a human being no wonder Mace Windu noped his training. His Fascist statement is extra YIKES for Padme since she’s one of those Senators who’d be forced to agree. The first temper tantrum alone sounded way out of line given the relatively professional setting, let alone the creepy boundary-breaking stare. The ‘I’ve been dreaming about you for ten years’, the ‘my feelings are suffering’ speech – also taking place with him in shadow for extra broody effect. And his first genocide (I can’t believe we’re already keeping track here!) And he KNOWS BETTER is the worst thing. He admits, out loud, that he knows better and still does the thing Padme why did you say yes to this mess?

Padme being mind controlled: a fairly common fan theory to answer the above question, but in-movie Padme straight up asks Anakin if he will use a mind-trick on her (in the context of a 20 questions game so not serious). Anakin’s response is ‘mind tricks only work on the weak minded’. On the one hand, implies Padme is too strong-willed for Anakin to influence through the Force – but on the other hand this also suggests to me that he would if he could!?!?

Though Anakin was the one to suggest keeping the relationship a secret, which did surprise me so no guilting Padme about ‘wanting a marriage like a free man’ like I thought. Padme is the one who says she won’t live a lie. Good to know for future reference.

Are droids sentient or not? Dex outright says droids can’t think but I honestly don’t know if this is in-universe how droids work or if Dex is having a Cleigg-on-Tusken-People moment.

Jedi are Arrogant? Lots of people have cited Madame Nu’s confidence in her archive’s integrity as evidence the Jedi are arrogant and horrible justification of Sith crimes follows. But Obi Wan thinks there’s something more going on and Yoda encourages everyone to help find his lost planet in one of the only nods to ‘funny trickster teacher Yoda’ we get in the movie. To me this seems a hint that the Jedi are unprepared for betrayal from within. Which Dooku’s, Anakin’s and the Clones’ mind-controlled betrayals all blindside the Jedi Order.

Jango: I’ve been torn about him since I learned about him. On the one hand, understandable vengeance motive (per legends anyway), on the other hand selling his own kids into slavery and probably knowing something about the chips and genocide order because I can’t otherwise imagine the legends version assisting the Jedi.

Jango does state in-movie ‘they’ll do their job well’ in a way that sounds just a bit ominous but I don’t know if he’s being accidentally vague or deliberately giving a subtle hint he knows about the Jedi betrayal plan. If this version is just in it for Boba and the money and doesn’t have the motive of his Legends counterpart, why would the Sith ever need to tell him? Dunno, but I was surprised to not hear him say anything derogatory about his clones. I mean he’s still selling his children into slavery in a way George Lucas doesn’t grok but he doesn’t actively deride them like I’ve read in fanfic. It’s a low bar but not as low as Anakin’s.

Made for the Jedi? So the Kaminoians confirm the clone army is specifically made for the Republic but commissioned by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas. Glad the movies cleared that up.

Scene Contrast: Kamino is Dark and Stormy with creepy sterile whiteness everywhere in complete contrast to Naboo’s sunny and lush green paradise. The clone army is grown and trained in creepy white lab while the robotic army built in a dark but organic underground hive. Obi Wan sneaks onto Geonosis through the light of day to investigate galactic concerns. Anakin on Tattooine stalks the Tusken people in the dark of night for personal stakes.

The (Other) Horribly Racist Cliché: Speaking of which, I get we’re supposed to assume Shmi was abducted but, um, Cleigg isn’t even a witness – like I initially thought – but is guessing abduction based on tracks in the desert sand and his incredibly racist bias. Are we supposed to doubt every word out of his mouth? If Shmi had been in a bed (even tied) I’d have assumed patient before prisoner.

Anakin’s Genocide: He goes off to save Shmi as ominous music plays and the suns go down, at which point he doesn’t just walk the fascist talk and do baby-Vader’s first genocide but also foreshadows his betrayal and genocide of the Jedi! Which really reinforces the Sith/Nazi and Jedi/Jewish parallel here – Hitler and the Nazis got their Holocaust ideas from White America’s treatment of our native and PoC counterparts. So too does Anakin the future Sith start his genocidal tendencies with the Native people of Tattooine.

But nobody in-universe seems to get that?!? Blorbo!Anakin authors recognize that thar was some FUCKED UP SHIT!!! (Usually by pretending it didn’t happen or re-writing the scene into something less Moral Event Horizon.) Padme’s response would fit better Anakin murdering the literally disarmed Dooku – morally wrong, against the Jedi Code but somewhat understandable but genocide? Cleigg is narratively supposed to be kind and sympathetic but he practically sent a demon after people who’s land and water he’s stealing! The person acting most realistically is the perpetrator and all Anakin admits (again) is he’s a Jedi and therefore should be better. But this still feels like he should have come back to Padme yellow-eyed and Dark Sided!

Once again, George Lucas’ racism screws up the story he’s trying to tell. Ugh. Okay, enough movie time for now. Sorry I’m a hopeless binger despite my friends and kitties’ best efforts.

[autodialog]

The Worst Thing Ever

The worst thing that has ever happened to me happed. My life is ruined.

Oh? It turned you into an angry bitter old misanthrope?

No.

So it didn't ruin your life.

Well, my job

You have a job, yes?

Yes, I still have a job, but it really really sucks.

So not the worst thing to ever happen to you. You've had a bunch of those in your life. Your divorce, for example.

That was a good thing in the end. It was not a good marriage.

And luckily enough you two were allowed to go your separate ways with nothing but shared memories. Without that first marriage you wouldn't be where you are, and you would have not met your wife.

This is true.

So maybe it was your father's death that was the worst thing ever.

It felt like it at the time, and I do miss him very much, and I try to get as many stories out of my mother while I can.

How about getting drummed out of graduate school?

They saved me from a life of frustration. I can teach anything I know to anyone, that wasn't the problem. Classroom management was the problem, and that cooperating teacher who didn't want to cooperate.

So your life was ruined when you didn't get the degree you wanted.

I use it, still, in my own way.

So tell me again how your life is ruined?

Just my work life.

Fine, just the work life, then. How is it ruined?

I am responsible for big data projects, and they are due soon, but no one is giving me the data I need.

Is it your job to create the data or just process it?

Process it, create reports, regular stuff.

So there is no way in which you are ultimately responsible for the data?

No, I just have to get the data and immediately turn it into other things.

Well, do they really think you've solved all the problems you're going to face before you saw a single data point?

I kind of tell people I do that as much as I can.

As much as you can? Are you the omniscient God who sees all?

No, of course not.

Then own up to your own humanity. This is not ruining your life. It is not turning you into sullen jerk. It is not ruining your character. You are letting it ruin your mood, which is a mistake and you know it.

But it feels right to do so.

No, it feels easier to do so. It is lazy. You know that easy doesn't work. That which does not make a man worse than he is, does not make his life any worse. Your life is the same as it always has been. You have work to do, you have the skills to do it. You just need to work on it all.

But the speed I have to work at ...

Is what? Short? Life is short and you are wasting time. You know this. Tight timelines are not making you hate other human beings. It is not making you dishonest, it is testing your courage like so many other things have. Everything is a test in this world. You are tempered by adversity.

Easy talk for the part of my head that doesn't need to run the reports.

But I have to listen to you bitch and moan, which I am happy to do, because it is the job you have assigned me in that head of yours. So I will do so without complaint.

That is very kind of you.

It is what it is. Like your reports.

Like the reports.

Just because it is a challenging time doesn't mean it is a time to give up. Procrastination only makes things harder than they need to be. You know this. It is a lesson you have learned several times over.

But it's not sticking.

Because you don't live in the present. What was Yoda's complaint about Luke? Always looking to the future, not focusing on what is in front of him. You avoid the present, you put it off until it is too late. You don't believe that right now is all you have and all you can work with.

I guess not.

So think about that, and come back when you're ready. I'll be here. I'm always here.

[queensaule]

The Living Force Live-Tumbl Part 5

Part 1 Part 4

Chapters 25-32

-Ki-Adi-Mundi is the worst. All my homies hate Ki-Adi-Mundi.

-HMMM Kylah was raised on Chalacta. Where Depa is from. INTERESTING.

-All my homies love Yaddle! I'm glad she got a Tales of the Jedi episode, and then a whole POV in Cataclysm. She's having fun on a speeder bike!

-Everyone should have a Master Piell as a teacher. You know, that teacher who doesn't necessarily stick to the curriculum but somehow you learn more from them than anyone else and remember them better years later. I had that teacher in 7th and 8th grade social studies. We did things like build model ships and put Goldilocks on mock trial.

-It's nice to see some people who love Jedi. Even if they've met one (1) Jedi and it's Master Piell and they are rowdy teens.

-Woostroids are a Legends species apparently! Love bringing them into Canon. And Morna is very relatable.

-Ah Zilastra, you've fallen into the role you don't know is all too common: personally slighted by one Jedi and now has a vendetta against all of them. The Path would have loved you. Ever heard of Axel Greylark?

-OMG the TV hosts are the same species as the podrace announcers from Phantom Menace! I ADORE this concept!

-Tenoo mention! I haven't seen every episode of YJA, but it does look like they celebrated a Jellyfruit Festival in one of the episodes- maybe that's what Yaddle is referring to!

-"There's a light that's within...The Jedi spend their whole lives trying to see that light- in themselves, and in others. It's part of something larger. You are part of something larger." Yaddle may I introduce you to my friend George Fox

-Also love Yaddle being the one to give the opposite of Yoda's warning. Courage leads to peace, peace leads to love, love leads to healing. Queen shit!

-Honestly this whole segment with Yaddle and Morna is representative of why I love reading Star Wars books. You get such insight into how Jedi view the force and how it parallels real-world mental health stuff.

-Yarael Poof!! Love that his attitude is basically "been there, done that, gonna have a good time now" because he's so old!

-"Poof is a grand and historic name among the Quermians. It's not my fault that when it translates into Basic it sounds like the end of a magic trick." (That quote speaks for itself, right?)

-All these other gang members really showed up to this Zoom call with their cameras off lol same

[goodnighttexas]

still haveht seen all of ahsoka show yet but I have been seeing stuff on this star wars account I follow that I don’t understand so I’m assuming it’s in the part I didn’t watch bc I was Very uninterested.

ummm so I’m thinking about it again and as ahsoka tano fan top 10 she’s one of my faves of all time. I just. my. A H S O K A. show. the. A H S O K A. show. and its like here’s the rebels and I’m like oh great that characters I really don’t care about thanks. like I watched their show it was alright I grew to like them BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN. well. except hera I love hera I want to see her always <3 BUT THE ITHERS?? WHATEVER!!!! I would like to see what my sweet sweet ahsoka is doing and what shit she’s wrecking on the other side of the galaxy. not. her wayward padawan. why does she have one of those? Like why is ahsoka “I am no jedi” tano waltzing around with a padawan and WHY IS SHE SO DRY ? :((( her actor gets her snarky bits well SHED DO THE SILLY WELL TOO I BET WHY DONT THEY GIVE HER THE SILLY ? she’s so serious I want to kill myself a little. ahsoka my little high school drop out why does she act like a “cool” teacher who breaks the rules only a little but is still a teacher none the less. OHHHH kills myself whatever. she’s not Totally down for the rules but she’s more down for the rules than I think she should be. she’s too slash srs. like ahsoka is wise as hell she’s very smart but she was never BORING….. CRIES MYSELF TO SLEEP.

look even that aside I just don’t care about sabine like that I don’t care about ezra that much and I definitely don’t want to go to Big Plot Thrawn like fuck that wgaf you get rid of that guy for OOOH? BIG PLOT ?? MAYBE FOR LATER ?? and then he comes back with MID PLOT. and does nothing. like I haven’t finished the show yet but I’m presuming he gets defeated bc I think I would’ve heard of big thrawn Star Wars phase BUT I HAVE NOT! so it’s just let’s have ezra again. which. as already stated. IDCABOUTHIMCOUGH. sorry ezra. I just. yeah. go off girl go crazy go stupid do whatever im gonna look over here now though.

like. I love my slay renegade disaster lineage girl who’s like nah fuck this we done. and does her own thing. SHE IS NO JEDI !!!! why have a padawan…… whatever

look I don’t like extra dubious disaster lineage that shit ended with ahsoka okay? BOOP yoda BOOP dooku BOOP quigon BOOP obiwan BOOP anakin BOOP ahsoka and then she was like okay this is the worst lineage in the history of ever let’s not. green freak, Sith Lord, rebel who died too young L, the “negotiator”, little freakass orphan annie who let him in here?? he’s too emotionally unstable—, and ahsoka tano the best thing to come out of this whole thing. one she doesn’t end up a sith lord two she knows what’s up she knew the order was flawed and went fuck this shit I’m out LOSERS and went on her own significantly more righteous path of awesomeness to be. what a jedi really SHOULDVE been. COOL. AS. HELL !!!! kind and compassionate, a bit of a smart ass, and selfless to high heaven. if there’s good to be done she will do it. she is bound by no order she is bound by no code she will do as she wants when she wants and she will make such a good impact and she will look so cool doing it. she also kicks so much ass.

[gods-sugar-daddy]

Characters I want to rattle like an angry maraca for an undiscerned amount of time based on how chewy they are, part 2

Sentient bounce balls

Commander Fox

Commander Fox is like, shotguns 16 cups of coffee for breakfast and his Monster Red Bull concoction the rest of the day. No one's ever seen him refill it. He has a venti cup he accidentally stole from 78's and is too ashamed to return it. He is simultaneously 12 and 85. He deserves a little therapeutic manslaughter. He forlornly tells people he is the manager then continues getting yelled at by both civilian and senator alike. He wishes he could enact Order 65, murder the Chancellor. He wears glitter nail polish under his gloves. He has 4 big brothers who will kick your ass. He'll kick your ass then turn around and sleep

Dean Winchester

He's my babygirl baby. A poor little meow meow. He tries so hard to be an alpha male but he just comes off as Rail Me with a side of Daddy Issues. He and Gabriel kin each other despite being told he's michael. He's a father of yes amount of kids. He insists on no chick flick moments despite being on Heaven's longest running soap opera. He's a monster fucker. He's dating Luci's little brother. He's a disaster bi. He's a father figure to Luci's kid. Simultaneously the best and worst babysitter in the world. Might kill you on accident. Might kill you on purpose.

That really tangy part of shirt labels

Ratchet

He is the Autobots hottest dilf 6 million years in a row. Optimus Prime calls him Sir. He will do medical malpractice if it means saving a life. What are they gonna do take his license?? He's the only bitch in the whole system that's keeping the army running. His exes are psychopaths. He speedran friends to enemies to lovers over the span of one civil war. He claims he's 8 billion years old. His hands are permanently stained gray from all the dye he's used to keep up the ruse. He can't remember his original hair color. He's 32.

Anakin

The walking, talking Cringe Fail compilation. Takes the phrase "kill what you love" literally. All the years he spent training Ahsoka was gathering dad points he never got to redeem. He never learned to properly regulate his emotions. Everyone goes to him if they want to defraud the Jedi Council. Yoda includes him in escape hijinks. He's a chaos demon. He should've been a creche teacher. He's the "just wait until my father hears about this" except worse bc his father is God and you will get smited.

Tigress

She's the prodigal daughter trying to live up to her dad's high standards. She hates your guts until you help her pass the math quiz then she ropes you in to her plan to instigate the Starbucks/Dutch Bros war. She is ride or die. Her big brother is a mass murderer. She's an orphan. She's a girlboss queen who takes no shit.

235$ chocolate protein shake

Ahsoka

I want them to do more with her. I want her to drop her backstory on side show characters and just dip. She's a healthy edgelord compared to Anakin's actual god complex. Make her a goth. Underutilized and overpowered at the same time. Filled with bad ideas bc her upbringing around Anakin and the 501st. A major accomplice to defrauding the Jedi.

Vos

He's the idw slender man. He's a cryptid. He's a murderous murderer in a group of murderers. He's dating Kaon. His previous namesake got turned into a feral turbohound. He doesn't have time to learn your language. He's a sniper rifle. Megatron held him once and Tarn has never been more upset.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

Oh?

Thank you <3

O.K. what else …

Also, Anakin is a grown ass person

He could just decide to no longer be a Jedi

Come clean about Padme and ask a Jedi healer for help with the whole “dies at birth” thing …

Like … He is a pilot

He is a mechatronics engineer

He is a warrior

I am sure he could find a job, after all he is no longer nine

Worst case Padme gives him a job as a security something, or as a pilot … either in her household (it’s not like they need two incomes … ) or in the royal household … I mean she is on good terms with the queen.

Hell, the Jedi would probably help him to set up if he decided to officially leave the Jedi order

(It is not like he is a Geiko in the 50s that would, while being a skilled artist, leave the world of flower and willow without an official education, effectively rendering her unemployable in anything but minimum wage jobs … )

But he decides that he wants his cake and eat it at the same time

Be a Jedi AND have Padme

Which is a great flaw for the protagonist of a tragedy

But yeah … that isn‘t on Palpatine … he just stoked that fire every chance he got … but Anakin lit it …

It’s also not like Palpatine kept the Jedi from freeing Shmi

And I have heard people say that they couldn‘t go in lightsaber blazing and free all the slaves

True

But they could have bought Shmi

And I doubt she would have been expensive

She is not educated as far as we know (no dancer, no singer, no musician, no mechatronics engineer) she knows what her master taught her to be of use, she isn‘t particularly young or exceptionally breathtakingly beautiful … she looks nice … like a mom …

Point is she is affordable

They could have bought her and given hear position in the temple … maybe in the caretaker department (do we ever learn what she worked as for Watoo?) … or gardening … or whatever …

If for no other reason then to thank her for sheltering Qui-Gon and the Queen

Or they could have admitted that Anakin was an exception in every way (His age, his power, the way he came to be in the temple etc … ) and therefor needed to be afforded some exceptions

I mean Yoda said himself he is to old … for exactly that reason he is already attached to things/people outside the temple

SO, they where aware that there would be issues and then they proceeded to treat him like all the other Padawans in the hope that he would somehow fit in to the Procrustes bed of the Jedi Order

-> Honestly, and I hate that I have to bring in the catholic church as a good example … I feel like I need to take a shower …

O.K. so usually a catholic priest has to be celibate BUT if he was already married BEFORE he got „the call“ to become a priest the pope can give him a celibacy dispense meaning he can stay married and can still become a priest and work as a priest

And I think in Anakins case it would have payed to make an exception like that

And I think Qui-Gon knew that, maybe planed that, because he wanted to free Shmi, but Watoo wasn‘t gonna make that deal …

SO you‘d think the Jedi would have taken special circumstance in to consideration and would have let Anakin grow up with his mother (either in the temple or away from it) and a Jedi teacher …

But they didn’t …

I mean it is not like they have a choice in the matter

They must know that they HAVE to train him

Because they already know that there is this phantom menace rising, that may or may not be a Sith

Like they talk about it …

So if they don‘t teach Anakin about the force … the Sith probably will …

And no one wants an insanely powerful kid to be trained by a Sith in the arts of the dark side

That is a recipe for disaster

But apparently they forgot about that whole Sith thing?

Like Qui-Gon told them … the whole council knew …

And they still completely unnecessarily pretended they had a choice, and left Anakin out to dry, scaring him in the process? Pretended that they where willing to let a scared 9 year old with insane force potential stumble through the galaxy unsupervised, untrained and basically ready for the picking?

Like I am not a Jedi, and I know that is abad idea …

SO yeah … none of that is Palpatines fault either that is on the Jedi XD

And I know they dropped the ball on Shmi big time because Lucas needed an inciting incident

And so he went the traditional route and fridged a women …

And I doubt that he thought to much about the fact that it made the Jedi look bad …

But yeah …

It was also not Palpatine that was responsible for their entirely tone deaf handling of Anakins fear.

It wasn’t Palpatine that told him he shouldn‘t be afraid of loosing someone (Padme) pretty much right after he lost his mother …

And I know I know detachment … attachment is bad … yadda yadda

death is a natural part of live,

rejoice for those around you who transform in to the force

mourn them do not

miss them do not

attachment leads to jealousy

the shadow of greed that is

But that is very clearly not where Anakin currently is at

and you have to meet people where they are

and you think the Jedi, whose entire thing is to be open and in tune and tolerant and mindful etc … not just of the force but of the world … would have known that …

You’d think the Jedi who have known him for a big part of his live, who saw him grow up would be able to tell that he is not doing well at all

Would have realized that Anakin isn‘t where, given his age and level of education, he should be

→ He almost petulantly expects to be elevated to the rank of master, so clearly his official education is finished

So you‘d think they would have met him where he was … not a detached Jedi knight but a very much attached civilian

and be supportive in the place he was in at the moment

And put a pin in the whole detachment debacle

Instead of telling him: “train yourself to let go of everything you fear to loose”

Like … if he hasn’t learn that by now (after loosing his mother) … it is probably not as easy as “train yourself”

He might need some extra water wings so he doesn’t drown …

Also you‘d think they would have had a word with Obi-wan about Skipping this very important step of Anakins education

-> Ultimately detachment is kind a the foundation or at lest a very important foundation of all the other Jedi arts

LUKE: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different. YODA: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn

In order to move that ship you have to detach yourself from the human view of the world … the physical … the material plain …

Until the stone and the ship really are the same

And I think because Anakin was so powerful he didn‘t have to do that

He could “cheat” his way through his education

(You know, like someone with ADHD that never learned good study habits but was able to pull an all nighter before exams, throughout his time at school and then drowns hopelessly at university because all nighters are no longer going to cut it … you can’t cram 6 month in to 8 hours … )

He didn‘t have to learn detachment because he could just force (see what I didi there XD) things by the sheer power of midichlorian count

Where other less talented less powerful Padawans had to really nail their detachment first thing

And I think that is also one of the reasons Obi-Wan dropped the ball on that … because to him being detached and using the force are the same thing .. because to him you can‘t do one without the other …

So yeah … Palpatine didn’t fuck up Obi-Wan’s lesson plan … that is on him … and the Jedi for not making sure Anakin learned everything, not just the fun parts* …

Palpatine just told Anakin that he didn’t have to become detached …

And Anakin believed him … because it sounded less painful …

SO bad form by everyone … no coockies for no one …

*-> Because Anakin more then any other Padawn needed to nail the whole detachment thing, because he was so old wen he entered the temple

He could remember his mother

So you’d think they would have emphasized that in his education …

Would have chosen a master for him that wasn‘t a rookie … that already had a few students under his belt so to speak … maybe one whose speciality was the whole attachment/deattachment thing and have Obi-wan be more of a … emotional support as one of the only two people on coruscant that this 9 year old child had any connection to.

But they dropped the ball on that one too ….

and it‘s not their fault …

Lucas wrote them like that

They had to make incomprehensible/ooc decisions to serve the plot, because star wars is a plot driven narrative more then a character driven one

Because ultimately the end is set in stone

(Anakin will always fall, the Republic will always fall, Luke and Leia will always grow up separated etc … no matter what any of the characters do … no matter how smart, kind, wise, tricky and clever they are)

And writing a character driven narrative that has a forgone conclusion is hard

Not impossible, the Terror (2018) pulled it of beautifully

(The end will always be the same, we know how this story ends … have known it for over 150 years … but that is not the important part … not the what, but the how … )

But it is hard

As we saw with HIMYM

(Which organically developed a completely different ending then the planed one and was forced to end in the planed way … and was all the poorer for it … )

And Lucas has many fine traits … he is good at a lot of things … writing is not one of them

And he still did not give himself the time to do a decent job

The script was written between March and Jun of 2000 – shooting started in September 2000 – that is very short … especially for a several movies spanning story

Take the LOTR trilogy

Jackson, Walsh and Sinclair had been working on the script since 1997, two years before production started in 1999

But Jackson had been kicking the idea of adapting LOTR around since he was a teenager … so he was intimately familiar with which scenes he wanted to keep which scenes had to go, character beats etc …

You see the same for the Terror (2018)

David Kajganich had been kicking the idea of adapting the book around since he read the book in 2007 (shooting started in 2017)

Had even written multiple drafts trying to figure out if a movie or a miniseries would work better

He too new exactly which scenes he wanted in and which he wanted out, which characters had to go, character beats etc …

And both of those where adaptions

Lucas had the disadvantage of having to come up with something from scratch WITH a forgone ending AND as mentioned above he didn‘t give himself the time

Or use a ghost writer

(Avengers (2012) used a ghost writer before they brought in Joss Whedon to ad some bells and whistles so to speak)

SO of course characters often make decisions that serve the plot and make little sense for the character or the established rules

→ Like Tyrion forgetting about the Zombies …

(thereby forgetting about established rules and acting out of character as a character that has been established as extremely smart for several seasons)

And ultimately that is what the prequels suffer from

Because they have all the parts for a great tragedy

But …

A great tragedy happens wen every character at every opportunity and having free choice, chooses the worst option because at that moment it it looks like the best option for them AND the audience …

That is important the audience has to agree that that is a good option

(I mean not that it is not fun to see someone walk unafraid in to a disaster, but watching “Romeo and Juliet” without knowing the end is clearly a much more satisfying experience considering it almost started a riot wen it was shown to some girls in prison who had never seen it XD)

In accordance with their character, their characters knowledge (player knowledge is not character knowledge XD) and the rules and regulations applying to their world, they choose the one option in a thousand that leads to disaster

And they do that again and again …

That makes a satisfying tragedy

And in star wars … basically a lot of bad decision are either out of character (idiot ball) … or telegraph from a mile away that this is gonna end in tears

Because make no mistake

Even without Palpatine, Anakins story would always have ended in disaster, the way the Jedi handled things

His mother would always have died like that. And it would always have had some fallout

Only, without Palpatine the disaster would have been much much smaller and more interpersonal … and would have had a smaller kill count … presumably … XD

Hope that was as much fun as the first part <3

i see way too much discourse on why prequels went down the way they did and i have a suggestion. can we blame palpatine? can we please blame palpatine?

[politicalpadme]

Reasons the Jedi Should End 21/?

Anakin comes to Yoda for help and Yoda does not help, tells no one, never follows up.

[madam-o]

Spicy Take on Star Wars' "heroes"

Anakin and Luke might be protagonists, but they are hardly the best parts of Star Wars. Ben Solo is more compelling than either of them, but he still inherits the WORST of their character traits.

Luke is a boy who longs to be a man and he stumbles his way into his own flawed image of what a Jedi is, mostly all on his own. His guardians and teachers are distant and withhold information, all of them dealing with their own past traumas. He still has to learn about many of the hard realities of life and his own hubris after the events of ROTJ.

Luke is a slightly better version of his father, Anakin, who was consumed by his arrogance, anger, and fear. Anakin had a similarly imperfect and yet much worse upbringing. Enslaved, taken from his mother early, lost his first father figure almost immediately, raised in a monk-like society that he wasn't a good fit in, obsessively attached to his first love, and seduced by his second father figure who manipulated and abused him.

There's no way Anakin could turn out to be anything but the worst version of himself. He's whiny, stubborn, rash, self-important, and needy. It's always "What about ME? Pay attention to ME" with him. He's very much an amplified version of teenage Luke.

Ben Solo gets a lot of flak for being emo, childish, unstable, violent, and creepy. And yet, his character makes perfect sense. He's carrying three generations of emotional baggage. He's stuck squarely in the middle of trying to be Luke Skywalker and trying to be Darth Vader, when really he's neither. He should've been home with his parents, dealing with whatever challenges came with his extreme force sensitivity with his entire family. Instead he gets Luke trying to keep him reined in, and "Vader" telling him to give in. He's hopelessly conflicted and frustrated his whole life.

Luke tried to be Yoda without ever truly understanding Yoda's experiences. It worked pretty well for a while until Ben's dark potential future tested him, and for a moment, he failed. Luke then became Yoda in self-imposed exile. THIS is the most honest and interesting version of Luke, the old man who can't get past his mistakes after learning the bitter lessons of his own limitations.

I do like the story of the Skywalkers, but I don't idealize them. I find them more of an amusing mess of too much power combined with silly, boyish expectations.

[cienie-isengardu]

In your personal point of view, where do you think the Jedi erred the most when it came to Anakin's training?

To be honest, I wonder from time to time how much different all of this went if Anakin got more experienced teacher to guide him through the training process instead of freshly promoted to Knight and still processing Qui-Gon Jinn’s death Obi-Wan that took the boy out of obligation (the last promise to fallen master) rather than anything else. This is by no means an attack on Kenobi for whom the whole situation was as unexpected as for Anakin and who I believe tried his best but Anakin was his first student and one from which greatness was expected due to some old, incomprehensible prophecy. So maybe old Ben was right, he wasn’t ready to teach Anakin as he thought he was then. Maybe if Jinn lived long enough to train little Skywalker or if one of the Council members took upon themselves this duty, Anakin’s - and galaxy’s - fate would be much better or may not, we will never learn.

However, I think the worst error of the Jedi Order didn’t lie specifically in the choice of Anakin’s teacher but rather in Yoda himself who was from the start against training the boy and whose personal reservations (fears) rubbed on everyone involved, including Obi-Wan:

Yoda’s gaze was distant when he spoke. “Decided, the Council is,” he repeated. “Trained, the boy shall be.”

Obi-Wan felt a surge of relief and joy flood through him, and a grateful smile escaped him.

Yoda saw the smile. “Pleased, you are? So certain this is right?” The wrinkled face tightened. “Clouded, this boy’s future remains, Obi-Wan. A mistake to train him, it is.”

“But the Council-”

“Yes, decided.” The sleepy eyes lifted. “Disagree with that decision, I must.”

There was a long silence as the two faced each other, listening to the sounds of the funeral preparations taking place without. Obi-Wan did not know what to say. Clearly the Council had decided against the advice of Yoda. That in itself was unusual. That the Jedi Master chose to make a point of it here emphasized the extent of his concerns about Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan spoke carefully. “I will take this boy as my Padawan, Master. I will train him in the best way I can. But I will bear in mind what you have told me here. I will go carefully. I will heed your warnings. I will keep close watch over his progress.”

Yoda studied him a moment, then nodded. “Your promise, then, remember well, young Jedi,” he said softly. “Sufficient, it is, if you do.”

Obi-Wan bowed in acknowledgment. “I will remember.” [The Phantom Menace by Terry Brooks]

And maybe because Obi-Wan tried so much to train Anakin as Yoda would - or rather wanted - he blamed himself for Anakin’s fall in the Original Trilogy?

“With foolish pride I took it upon myself to train Anakin in the ways of the Jedi. My mistake was thinking I could be as good a teacher as Yoda. I was not [...]”

I strongly believe if Yoda wasn’t such a coward about facing an uncertain future and with that, (subconsciously?) fearing losing control over the situation ( his Jedi Order), things wouldn’t get so ugly in the most critical time for the Republic.

There are plenty of things that Jedi did wrong - separately, these wrongs were uncomfortable yet to survive but together build an unsafe, toxic environment. Starting with not providing any proper psychological help to unpack all the stress and traumatic experiences that no child should ever be forced to face in the first place (and Force knows, Kenobi too deserved some therapy). Then there is the whole double-standard apparently employed for Skywalker, seen when one compare how Yoda (or Jedi Council) treated Anakin and other Jedi in similar situations, for example how Grandmaster showed concern for his subordinates when the mission demanded from them to work or interact with people with whom they already had personal conflict (from minor aminosy to even serious matter of facing killer of family) but doesn’t seem to give a damn for putting Anakin on missions that directly make him face slavers and even makes him work for Jabba out of all possible people. All because he has the needed experience or whatever the excuse was. Or how there is plenty of Jedi who in fact are family members and can live in the same Temple and no one makes fuss about that (Plo Koon and his niece, Nico and Tae Diath) or can speak openly about their ties to / honoring parents (Adi Gallia, A’Sharad Hett) but when Skywalker mentions Shmi he was either silenced or told “the dreams pass” when Jedi have enough experience to know special dreams / visions may happen thanks to strong connection to the Force. Or giving totally different advice to Anakin and Ahsoka in regard to dreams about someone close to them in danger of dying, in which Anakin heard “The fear of loss is a path to the dark side. [...] Train yourself to let go… of everything you fear to lose.” [RotS] while Ahsoka was told “Visions they are. Underestimate them, You must not. Meditate to see clearly. [,,,] Choose, you must, how to respond to your visions. But remember, always in motion is the future, and many possible futures there are.” [TCW S03E07 - Assassin]. Even if the last one was the creators attempt to present Yoda in more kindly light, it spectacularly backfired by only building more the contrast how Anakin Skywalker was treated by the so called wisest Jedi Master and how Yoda’s personal opinion (fears) affected everyone involved in Skywalker’s training. To the point when Yoda showed support for young Anakin, Kenobi was actually surprised by that. Which speaks a lot about the issue, isn’t it?

And this is even more frustrating to me, because Yoda was presented as a kind mentor to so many padawans and full-trained Jedi alike. Even when he acknowledged that there was darkness in Quinlan Vos and the man had a lot falling with Dark Side through the course of his adult life, when Vos was fighting for his life during Order 66, it was memory of Yoda’s teaching that greatly helped him survive [Star Wars Republic #83]. In contrast, when Anakin hits the worst time in his life to the point of actually seeking Yoda’s advice on his own, he is surprised by old master’s willingness and patience to actually listen to him:

“He’d been surprised by how graciously the ancient Jedi Master had invited him into his quarters, and by how patiently Yoda had listened to his stumbling attempts to explain his question without giving away his secret; Yoda had never made any attempt to conceal what had always seemed to Anakin to be a gruff disapproval of Anakin’s very existence.“ [RotS novel by Matthew Stover]

The different treatment mixed with high exceptions based on some mistic not fully understable ancient prophecy was a dangerous mix that couldn’t lead into a good direction. And this is not even about Anakin as a main hero, this is generally speaking unfair, hurtful approach to any kid, especially ex-slave child that come there to learn Jedi Ways but through the years was made feel unwanted, isolated, frustrated and doubting his own worth (x)(x) and yes, there was a youthful pride but also a constant fear he is and never will be good enough. This is not how you make a functional human being and definitely not a human being with enough proper control of emotions to keep in check an unnatural connection to the Force. The training, no matter how hard and difficult, was only part of being a Jedi, the other important matter was the person's psyche. By different, incomprehensible treatment, teaching a child with clear signs of PTSD to deeply bury inside himself all his traumas, fears, stress rather than help to unpack the emotional burden and teach him proper control is not only cruel and inhuman but also asking for disaster. Hell, even Darth Sidious could see that coming but not the Jedi.

And to be honest, after so many years I do not ask myself anymore how Anakin’s Fall to Dark Side could have happened. Only, how he managed to keep so long to the Light Side / Jedi mindset?

So for me, all the problems and great Jedi errors were rooted in Yoda and his fear of change, of the unknown that Force did not feel like sharing with him. It is Yoda and his openly said reservations about ex-slave child that was brave to leave everything he knew, everyone he loved behind to become Jedi but was casted away, as too old, too angry, too dangerous. A reservation that most Jedi masters took into their hearts because one green old, immutable gremlin happened to be seen as the wisest Jedi and if he said there was something wrong, they all looked for the wrongness and focused on that. Because Yoda’s fears made others beware too and in result, made Anakin’s life in Jedi Order more hardship than it was necessary. I really think if Jedi masters (Yoda) give him a fair chance, things would look much better. Not giving Skywalker any privileges because of the Chosen One status? Completely understandable. But treating him differently, harsher than other students, because he could be dangerous? Total failure on their part. The more so because every child with connection to Force and every adult Jedi was a potential a threat to others. Anakin was not an exception in that matter.

[princesssarcastia]

[reply from @avocadomooon: there's no way they'd let anakin know the babies and padme survived, like that just - doesn't make sense. they keep him unconscious the whole time until they can get them off the base and then yoda takes anakin with him to the swamp planet. (worst nightmare for both of them) bc any way you slice it, if anakin survives that, there's no reaching him, not when his hatred for obi-wan is now directly tied to the injury that will cause him pain forever ]

that's a fascinating and insightful take. it also makes the best of what I imagine would be Obi-Wan and Padmé's conflicted, blue-screen-esque feelings about Anakin. They don't want him dead, they love him—but neither can they bear to be around him.

on Padmé's side...I suppose we do more frequently see people, women especially, who can abide staying near people, men especially, who do them great physical harm even when they beg him not to. Even when it risked hurting their children, too. There's a universe where she loves what's left of him enough to just take it, swallow the pain and the fear and the insult and pretend everything is fine.

But not in a universe where she feels she still has a duty to the galaxy, and to the ideas of rebellion that Bail is even now trying to seed. That's work she would see as imminently necessary, work she would see as something she had a responsibility to take up herself...and work that would be impossible while Anakin is around. As big as her anakin-related blind spots are, they're not that big.

I'm also fascinated by Yoda, here.

Bail's got plans, and Padmé's in on those plans, and Obi-Wan, who cares for them both, and believes in what they're fighting for, will help. But not if it means leaving Anakin alone to die.

So, perhaps Obi-Wan asks Yoda—Yoda who is tired, and broken, and has seen the end of his people—to take Anakin with him when he goes into exile. To help him, if he can, or at the very least contain him, if he can't. Still holding out some glimmer of hope that his oldest teacher can perform the miracles he himself isn't capable of.

And maybe Yoda accepts because it's Obi-Wan asking. Maybe he accepts out of guilt, however misplaced, for failing to see how close Anakin was to the edge before he plummeted over it. Maybe he accepts because Anakin was a jedi until like, a week ago, and he's tired of watching jedi die, even if they aren't Jedi anymore. Maybe he remembers a bright, scared 9-year-old boy standing before him, asking for a home and a future, and wants to honor the promise his people made to him, in the end.

Maybe he accepts because he knows he can keep Anakin contained, on Dagobah, if two of his last allies in the galaxy refuse to do the responsible (maybe even humane) thing and see him dead. Maybe he accepts because he's not ready to be alone for the rest of his life, however long or short it may be, however horrifying the quality of company will be.

Also, it's big OT-Yoda-and-Ben energy to lie to Anakin about Padmé, Luke, and Leia being dead. The delicious parallels of Anakin, alone and bereaved of any of the family he desperately wanted by a huge lie—but this time, the people lying absolutely have the right to do it.

Probably someone drops Yoda and Anakin off, with a medical droid stripped of anything that could possibly be turned into a communicator, and then leaves. No ship to steal. No tech to use to reach out.

Just them. Alone. In the swamp. Giving Yoda at least 20 years to perfect his I'm-not-trapped-in-this-swamp-with-you, you're-trapped-in-this-swamp-with-me routine on Vader, long before Luke ever steps foot on Dagobah.

I think Vader stays with Yoda until it's clear he's healed as much as he'll ever heal, until it's clear Yoda's not hiding any means of escape—and then he flees to establish himself somewhere far, far away, determined to isolate himself and Yoda, to refuse to give in to...whatever Yoda wants.

And Yoda...lets him. Because he agreed to this, but he doesn't want to fight over the details, or force Vader to accept his help. If the sith who killed his people wants to live alone in the dark waters, that's his prerogative. Which isn't necessarily the smartest choice, but hell. He's old, he's tired, he's done.

Something would eventually force them back together, but what forces them back together is up for debate.

hm. revenge of the sith au where after Obi-Wan cuts Anakin's legs off and lets him burn, he then picks him up off the shores of Mustafar and drags him back to the ship. So it's the road trip from hell, starring:

Obi-wan, distraught, traumatized, cursed to be the adult in the room like always but 1000% less prepared to fulfill that role than normal

Anakin aka Lord Vader, limb-less, burned to a crisp, Sith; unconscious

Padmé, heavily/recently pregnant, distraught, traumatized; unconscious

C-3PO, anxious-but-in-the-way-he's-ALWAYS-anxious

R2-D2, pissed as hell at Anakin for trying to kill Padmé, exasperated at Obi-Wan for being less useful than normal

[phoenixyfriend]

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak​.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death,  I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says  “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and  Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia:  I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

[giggles-and-freckles]

I heard you were doing some... whump drabbles? perhaps ✈: reaching out for someone or ✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention?? 👀

To say Ahsoka’s apprenticeship started unconventionally would be an understatement.

From the confusion with her master not even knowing he was her master to her immediate adventures on Teth and Tatooine, it had started off as uncertainly as any padawan’s. She’d listened to her creche-mates share stories of their masters choosing them after their trials, ceremonially offering an apprenticeship.

Anakin’s first real sentiment to her had been “there must be some mistake” before he’d tried to pawn her off on Obi-Wan. Although, looking back with a fond smile, she couldn’t say that would have been the worst thing in the world.

When she and Anakin had finally made it back to the temple and sat down to develop a real training regime, it felt...awkward. They’d already been in several life-and-death situations, not to mention been key players in establishing a game-changing diplomatic relationship with the Hutts.

Now they were supposed to create a meditation schedule? And go over basic lightsaber form?

A training bond doesn’t establish itself, Obi-Wan had reminded them with an amused smile.

Fuck off, old man, Anakin had replied.

So they’d tried. The first day or two of regular training at the temple was uncomfortable at best, miserable at worst, but after a few days, they were surprised to find how...easy it was. Ahsoka filled the small gaps in Anakin’s shields and he provided the bulky foundation she lacked on her own. Every weakness she’d ever been notified of by her teachers as a youngling was naturally corrected when she was at Anakin’s side.

She’d never say it out loud because he couldn’t handle the ego boost, but Ahsoka quickly found that she was the absolute best version of herself when she was with him.

They’d found an easy pattern, the two of them, and soon the audience in the observation room of their sparring sessions grew beyond just proud, old Obi-Wan. Masters and padawans alike came to watch, laugh, and take notes from the intensity and fluidness with which Anakin Skywalker and his new apprentice fought.

One time, Ahsoka even spotted Master Yoda.

She’d put all of her effort into flattening Anakin on his back, then, of course.

What had started as constant form modifications turned into form creation. Anakin didn’t just fight, he constructed. Out of the routine assaults and jagged deflections, the Jedi choreographed a sort of dance that only he was privy to.

Sure, Obi-Wan knew most of the moves. They’d mostly been inspired by him anyway. A padawan could only teach so much to his master, though.

So it was Ahsoka who received the bulk of this choreography, constantly watching and doing and watching some more. Trying to memorise the ebb, the flow, the rhythm of it all. And pretty soon–his dances weren’t solo at all. 

He wasn’t just showing her what he had made for himself. He was creating for them–and she was helping! They worked in tandem, moving, fighting, and breathing as a single unit. Ahsoka would marvel at it as she left the training room or battlefield, breathless yet not ready to quit.

It didn’t take long before they had signature things that were theirs. Like breakfast in the garden when they were at the temple on leave and impersonating Rex every time he was yelling at shinies and their Move.

Back to back, his right heel nearly stepping on the back of her left. Opposite shoulders pushed against each other, supporting and spurring on. Their Force bond compensated for most of their movement, but before they were encircled by droids or cornered by bounty hunters or whatever situation they found themselves in, Ahsoka would always, always reach behind her. Just the tiniest bit–to touch Anakin’s waist. 

It didn’t accomplish anything beyond giving her a tiny bit of comfort. A simple touch of reassurance that yes, he was there and so it would be okay, no matter what the next few moments of combat would entail. 

She was jolted back to the present as another punch flew toward her jaw.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” she snorted as she easily ducked. The Trandoshan’s movements were clumsy. Ahsoka could take this lump with her hands tied.

Which was good, considering they...were.

“This would be a fairer fight if you’d let me get a few swings in, you know,” she grumbled, pulling at the restraints again. “Maybe you could learn a few things?”

The Trandoshan growled in response. Ahsoka wrinkled her nose at his horrific breath. She was tired of this–tired of pretending like this guy offered any real challenge and tired of playing with her food.

She reached out, her arm instinctually moving behind her, feeling for Anakin’s waist, the way she had so many times before.

Her hand fell back to her side, passing through the air behind her.

Ahsoka faltered, her memory lapsing for the briefest of moments–where was he? Was he okay? Did she lose him in the mania of this pathetic excuse for a fight?

Harder than any blow the Trandoshan could get on Ahsoka, the reminder of her reality crushed down upon her, throwing her off-focus just enough for her opponent to move in. She deflected, easily enough, side-stepping another punch and surprising the Trandoshan. He hadn’t expected her to move so quick. She took advantage of his confusion and moved to a better position, kicking him from behind and watching him fall to the ground with no true satisfaction.

If Anakin were here, he’d roll his eyes at the groaning Trandoshan in a heap on the ground and say something witty like, “you should lose a few pounds, buddy.” Then he’d throw a smirk at Ahsoka, shrug his shoulders, and say, “Hungry, Snips?” and they’d go grab a burger.

But Anakin wasn’t here. He hadn’t been in a very, very long time.

Not since–everything. The clones, the purge, the darkness. Anakin was gone. Obi-Wan was gone. Master Plo, Jesse, Kix, Cody, Luminara, Yoda, Mace–

Everyone. Gone.

And Ahsoka couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been met with anything but empty air when she’d reached out.

[morganas-pendragons]

take my hand, i’ll keep you close | obi-wan

in which i cannot do short titles anymore, sorry 

requested by @karasong​: may i please request an obi-wan/reader where they get stuck in the rain and he’s upset about it but the reader takes the opportunity to dance in it and he can’t help but smile, and then they dance together? 

made this a female reader, i hope it’s okay!!!

this is 100% a steal of can i have this dance from high school musical and no, i’m not sorry - and yes, it’s the planet from the scene where anakin eats bugs in the cartoon nope i’m also not sorry for that either 

tagging: @obiorbenkenobi​ // @dressed-up-heartbreak​ 

This was so not the way he wanted to spend his day. It was supposed to be a relatively easy mission to Nelvaan. A relatively easy mission in which the two of you were scoping out the area for General Grievous, who had supposedly been spotted in this sector and had been.. well.. evasive for the most part. 

Now here you both sat tucked away in a hidden area waiting for Anakin who had gone maker knew where. Obi-Wan was asleep to your left, head resting in your lap as you both tried and failed to sleep in one of the most beautiful storms you’d ever seen. 

Fortunately for you, you loved storms. How can you not love that in which you are the living embodiment of? 

  “You’re staring again.” 

Water dropped from a nearby overhang and dampened the hood of his cloak as he nestled deeper into it. “How can I not?” You marveled. “We’ve been here for a kriffing month. I’m tired of sitting around and doing nothing while Anakin traipses around out there.” 

  “We’re not doing nothing. We’re waiting for... ah.. relief.” Which basically meant i’m gonna whine here like a child in the créche because i’m not getting my way until the actual relief did come. 

You gently laid his head back on the wooden bench the two of you had been sitting on and shed your robes and saber beside him before taking one last look at the brewing storm just outside your refuge. “Yeah, well.” You replied swiftly. “I’m looking for relief. I’d like to not be a Jedi for five minutes. You wanna join me?” 

He sunk deeper into his robe and harrumphed in reply, crossing his arms over his chest before turning his head away from you. Obi-Wan had grown up on Coruscant which had a mildly temperate climate anyways, which means he wasn’t nearly as accustomed to weather like this as you were. It made him, well.. grumpy. 

It was kind of cute. 

“No. You enjoy yourself.” His expression softened briefly for a moment as Obi-Wan looked you up and down before curling back against the wall. “You deserve a relief.” 

Your heart sank. This war had barely started and yet you knew it would have a long-lasting effect on his heart. Maybe even his soul. It wasn’t like he wasn’t a walking tragedy already with how much suffering he’d endured since Naboo and before. 

  “So do you.” 

With that, you ventured out into the dark. Obi-Wan watched as a brilliant crack of lightning consumed the darkness of the sky that spread out before him - illuminating your figure in an aura of white light - before he allowed his eyes to shift away from the growing storm and back to you. 

You. In all your silver tongued, quick witted, sharp skills with your mouth and saber and a knack for absolutely demolishing the enemy before he could fully conclude his terms of surrender negotiations with the opposing General. You’d lost your clone squad months ago - the reason why, you’d never said and he absolutely understood why once he saw your nightmares firsthand - but after that, you were a force to be reckoned with. Fighting alongside you put him at ease. 

However, this was a different type of ease. This was peace. Seeing you out there in that storm and spinning without a care in the world made his heart clench as he suddenly realized why he was so drawn to you. You were what he wanted when the war was over. You were safety, security, assurance, goodness... 

You were what The Jedi should’ve been. Would never be. Maybe he should’ve aspired to be more like you. 

  “C’mon, Obi-Wan!” You yelled across the clearing. It was relatively clear of any droids and there was no one in sight outside of the clone scouts on the perimeter on the outskirts of the siege, which meant that the two of you were alone. “Stop being a kriffing buzzkill! Come dance with me!” 

Ah. One problem. He didn’t know how to dance. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to be at home in The Temple in his bed. He wanted a warm meal and companionship and lightsaber training with Anakin, he wanted to not be in a war because this wasn’t the purpose of Jedi. They were peacekeepers. Not soldiers. 

Maybe for a moment. Maybe he’ll drop The Negotiator and The General for just a moment to allow himself the ability to be just.. Obi-Wan. A man. A human man who, no matter how much he denied it, had desires. A heart. 

They seemed to all revolve around you. 

You looked like a girl. A woman who had never had the opportunity to do things normal girls did. A girl soaked to the bone by the chilling rain that poured down from the skies as they broke open and cast the world in darkness. Despite that, there you were, your Force Signature the brightest light in an otherwise bleak world. 

So he followed you - followed your light - into the dark. 

Boots caked with mud and robes dripping wet with the chill of the rain, Obi-Wan ventured into the open and for a split second allowed himself to forget about the war. He forgot about the clones who had died and the Jedi who had followed them, he’d forgotten about the threat of the Sith and The Chosen One and just allowed himself to exist. Just for a moment. 

The real part - the part where he lived - was birthed whenever he met you across the gap. 

  “C’mon, Obi-Wan.” You mused. Your voice was just barely audible enough to be heard over the rumble of thunder that resounded ahead. “Take my hand. What are you afraid of? A girl?” 

It’s not the girl. It’s falling in love with the girl he was afraid of. 

  “I must confess, my dear-” Obi-Wan went scarlet as your brow rose and you again motioned with a flick of your gaze to your waving fingers that were gestured out towards him. He rubbed the nape of his neck awkwardly as you waited for him to continue. “I am unsure of how to dance.” 

  “Well, lucky for you..” You took his left hand in your own and laid the other one against the swell of your hip, nearly visible through the sheer fabric of your tunic. It took every ounce of his self control to not allow his eyes to travel below your shoulders. “Well, fortunately for you, I grew up amongst the wealthiest people on Alderaan. I spent much of my adolescence learning the art of dancing. You just happen to have the perfect partner.” 

Ah. That he did.

  “We have no music.” He argued. 

You tilted your chin up to look at the blues of his eyes. “You don’t need it,” You said. “Follow my lead. I’ll keep you close.” 

Take my hand, take a breath, pull me close and take one step 

Obi-Wan was nothing if not a quick learner. He listened to the words of your songs as if they were the same words spoken by Master Jinn, by Master Yoda, by his crèche teacher all those years ago. He wanted to learn what you were trying to teach him. 

Keep your eyes locked with mine 

And let the music be your guide 

The mud beneath your feet became forgotten and the rain nothing but a numbing chill as you allowed yourself to sink into the familiarity of Obi-Wan Kenobi and the warmth that was his Force Signature. His hand at your hip, the piercing blue of his eyes that never left yours, the way he moved in perfect sync with your movements. 

He fought and danced the same way he moved. Gracefully, beautifully, and with the perfect poise. Little did Obi-Wan know that this specific song - a confession of hidden feelings - was meant to be a way for the possibility of more to bloom. He had to be willing to take it. He had to want it as badly as you did. 

Now would you promise me, that you’ll never forget

To keep dancing wherever we go next? 

On a ridge overlooking the clearing the two of you occupied, Marshall Commander Cody smiled to himself as he peered through the haze of rain that fogged his scope. There was nothing he’d wanted more then his General to be happy for the moment they’d met. Even through the scopes, Cody could see that happiness he so often denied himself very much came from you. 

it’s my catch of lightning, the chances of finding someone like you 

The longer you danced, the more vulnerable the gaps in your shielding were. Being around Obi-Wan and repressing your feelings for so long even after knowing each other for a short amount of time had been difficult, to say the least, but now that you were in the middle of either the best or worst choice you’d ever made, you wanted him to see it. You wanted him to see you and how you’d dreamt for the future. 

A future that always, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, somehow included him. 

It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do

And with every step together

We just keep on getting better 

The galaxy talks about Kenobi and Skywalker. But will they talk about you two? The perfect partners? The calm to his chaos? The warmth to your chill? How you were always at his back on the battlefield, and how he carried you across a war zone - bloody and bruised and dying - to get you to the Cruiser because he’d rather risk his own life then lose yours? 

Can I have this dance... Can I have this dance? 

  “Do you feel it?!” You yelled over the pouring rain, arms outstretched as he’d grown so much more confident in his abilities that Obi-Wan was spinning you around the same way you’d spun yourself before you started. You didn’t see the way he grinned. The way his Force shined because of your joy. 

  “Feel what?” 

  “Free!” 

Oh, no mountain's too high and no ocean's too wide 'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop

Neither of you had realized how much time had passed as the rain slowed to a drizzle and the sun began to peer over the forest around you. You were too enraptured with each other. 

Let it rain, let it pour, what we have is worth fighting for You know I believe that we were meant to be, yeah

  “Your thoughts of the future are beautiful.” 

You steadied your hands against his shoulders as he nudged your cheek with his nose while you continued to hum as daylight shone over you both. “They’re only beautiful because you’re in it.” You murmured. “If you want it - want that future - come take it.” 

  “We have a war to fight.” A brutally true reality. “Are you sure there will be an after?” 

It's like catching lightning The chances of finding someone like you

You pushed wet robes off his shoulders and ruffled his hair to where it hung just over his brow bone. Disregarding the precise calculation of each movement of his feet, Obi-Wan tossed all care into the wind and took both of your hands to rest against his face.

It's one in a million, the chances to feeling

The way we do

  “As long as we stay together, there’ll always be an after.” 

And with every step together

We just keep on getting better 

  “Be with me. Not just now, but when we’re on the battlefield and when we win the war and when we leave The Order to find our after.” The two of you slow to a stop, and he nodded and nodded and nodded again to show you that he meant it, and before you could help yourself - you were kissing the living daylights out of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

So can I have this dance?