#yknow i think he should get headaches too

[toffeesbabbles]

For the sake of the experiment, I'm I right

no worries he's fine

[egberts]

You should def ask the mystery plumber all those questions! He might not say anything against the prev owners, but I'd def tell him his phone line is busted and try to get a new # or email so you can reach him again. You can ask him for his work history on the house or any records/documentation. He might not say anything against the owners (& I wouldn't approach him that way), but the docs could speak for themselves, yknow? Good luck, this all seems like a headache and a half!

well, this will be the final update of the night: mystery plumber said he got a phone alert that it was time to service our sewer because he's been doing it every six months for over five years. he said "you don't have to replace the pipe but replacing clay pipes is a good idea" lowkey I think he was trying to deter us because he didn't want to lose his six month contract. he also still advised us not to use the washing machine which means... he also thinks it's still a problem? but he told us to cancel the repiping because it would cost too much? (again, really feels like he didn't want to lose his contract here but he was nice so i don't assume malicious intent?) and then he said he was friends with the previous owners and the sewer was the only known problem with the house, which means it was known and undisclosed but he's their friend and idk if he'd go on record because of that. he also told us 1. he lives around the corner and 2. he drives by our house twice a day and sometimes wondered if he should come offer service/explain the situation but he never did it. he also couldn't explain why his phone wasn't working the other day because it's working now. literally just what kind of clownery have we gotten in to 😭

[layuhsblog]

lucas x male reader?

story: m/n gets kidnapped by a mafia group, and their leader, yukhei, wants the money that the former's family owes him - it doesn't come, as they don't care about m/n.

this makes yukhei have a change of heart.

(lucas is not really a jerk, he's just trying to do his job)

Hii, I made it into a chaebol m!reader x mafia leader! lucas fic,

hope you don't mind. I've never written mafia au. So this is pure shit I'm really sorry. I'll rewrite it and make it better once I have more experience.

Thankyou for requesting and reading it. ALSO- this was an amazing request. Renegade is such a bop and he LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Thankgod there are still Lucas stans on Tumblr.

Anyway hope you tolerate this fic T-T

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN BTW!!

dk the word limit prolly 1k words

warnings: kidnapping, stockholm syndrome???, soft boy mafia lucas, angst, fluff?, small mention of religious trauma, family's a bitch, drugging, panic attack, hyperventilating, thoughts about death, mentions murder, daddy issues?, death, swearing, badly written threats, winwin is a dick but he loves you :), Lucas being HOTTIE MAFIA LEADER OOF, kissing.

To myself- Lucas x M!reader

-

Coming out to your orthodox religious family was not easy. On the surface the media thinks you're this wholesome rich family but the truth was much deeper and darker than it appeared.

You were sitting in a bar drinking away your problems when you were approached by a cute gentleman.

"Hi, rough day? May I buy you a drink?" he smiled at you

you tiredly sighed,

"If you're trying to get me into your bed, not happening."

He chuckled,

"Let me just buy you a drink, I'll walk away if you're not interested." You scanned his face, not so discreetly.

He looked cute and shy..you didn't see anything shady about him. You cautiously eyed his again and nodded. He showed a toothy grin at that.

"I'm Winwin by the way!"

"___" you replied and for the first time that night showed a slight smile.

_

A few hours had passed and Winwin started to grow on you, a couple of drinks more and your eyes started getting droopy.

Before you could call your driver to pick you; you passed out.

-

When you woke up, you had no idea where you where. Immediately you sat up and met with a throbbing headache. When you tried to get up, you realised your hands were tied. Panicked you screamed and screamed for someone to help you. You screamed till you lost your voice, and burst out crying. You had no idea what happened to you, what they'll do to you or if you'll even get out of here alive. All those thoughts became too mouth and you felt a bitter metallic taste in your mouth as your throat ran dry. You couldn't breathe. The worst of all, the room was empty except for a clock in it, it had been a long time since you were here and you were almost sure no one was looking for you.

"Ya done screaming or should I give you more of a reason to cry about?" You did not realise someone else was in the room with you. It was Winwin. Your heart sank.

"Y-you! What have you done to me!? Let me out! P-please." The last word came out as a weak plea and he laughed at your pathetic state,

"Can't, boss' orders. Yknow if he hadn't told me to bring you to him, I'd might as well taken you out on that little date." He winked at you and you were filled with disgust as fresh tears threatened to spill out from your eyes.

Your chest, throat, stomach everything hurt. You felt like you could throw up any minute.

It took you 15 minutes to calm yourself down all the while Winwin was looking at you with an amused look on his face, watching your every move like a hawk.

You were just blankly staring at a wall. The worst that can happen is they'll kill you. Who cares if you die?

-

Five hours had passed since then and you were doing nothing, feeling nothing so you closed your eyes and tried to sleep on the dirty floor. Winwin stepped out of the room to call someone, he did not realise the door is not soundproof. It sounded like he was threatening someone, probably your family you presumed.

-

"We have your son motherfucker. If you don't fucking pay us back you'll find his body in your front gate. Have fun when the headlines say 'L/n Family's Youngest son found dead on their door. It'll be fun seeing police raid your family seeing all the black money you have." he laughed

"Do what you want with him. You can't hurt my business. You're a nobody." and he heard the beeping of the phone.

-

The door, half broken and rusty slowly creaked opened and the fear you felt when you first came here returned. Winwin stood up straight and greeted the man. He had long black hair, his gaze cold, almost predatory.

"Did you hear back from those bastards?" he spat out, glaring at Winwin.

There was an awkward silence from his side and he eyed him and looked back at you. Immediately understanding what it meant, you weakly laughed.

The whole situation was so funny to you when it finally clicked.

You came from a famous family full of businessmen. People so influential that every move you made had to be absolutely perfect- however to them, you were far from it. The first shock came to your father when you were fifteen years old and told him you wanted to be an artist, that you had no interest in the business. Second and the final straw was 2 days ago when you came out to him and he disowned you.

To think such educated men could have such shallow ideals.

You remembered your mother, how loving she was. If she were here she'd definitely accepted you. You remembered how she told you crying how all this success was a lie and she wanted you to stay as far away from it as possible, afterall you weren't like your father and brothers. You remembered how you saw her that night for the last time. You remembered how you heard them fight in the other room, your brothers had left the country to pursue their studies. You remembered how you heard her scream but your door was locked from the outside. You remembered vaguely seeing a blood stain in the carpet which magically disappeared the next day. You remembered the police labelling the case as a suicide, how there was literally no evidence found- how each and every corner of the house was checked except the locker your father held the keys to.

The realisation made your blood run cold.

Your father had borrowed a large sum of money from someone years ago to start his business. He always assured your mother he'd paid them back. The situation in front of you made it clear that your father has always been a selfish bastard.

The thoughts, the questions, the suspicions hit you like a train wreck and you started laughing loudly. Both men looked at you puzzled.

"I cannot, that fucker- no one's coming for me, he killed her and he'll kill me too. I'm gonna die here anyway. That's so funny. Its always been fucking money. It's more important to him than fucking accepting his son and supporting his wife." You said between your laughs as tears spilled through your eyes

The man knelt down, his eyes softened a bit, voice comforting yet distanced, he motioned Winwin to get out of the room and spoke,

"Hey, calm down. You're not gonna die here. I'll take care of him. I'm sorry I involved you into this. I'll let you go. Just an advice, don't go back there. Get your own place, you have a chance to disappear from his life. Take it. I'm Yukhei by the way, you can call me Lucas." he smiled a bit.

You blinked in confusion, looking for any signs of humour in his words but there were none. He sounded genuine. It puzzled you how he could switch up so quickly. It made you curious to know more about him. Lord have you gone insane.

"What if I don't wanna leave. What if I want to help you get rid of him?"

And he only smiled.

"I'm not alien to murderer, rich heartless fathers." he joked,

"And I thought I was unique." he laughed at your comment. He has a nice laugh. You thought. You wanted to hear it more. Its funny to you how you feel safer with a literal mafia leader than you've ever felt with your father.

You talked some more, growing fonder of him each passing second. You realised he's not as cold as he appears. He was just doing his job and truthfully your father was just a huge dick. He has such a bright smile. His eyes had this spark when he was talking about the people he works with. He was making your heart beat faster.

He took you to his room, gave you clean clothes to change into and made you eat.

"You know, Winwin likes you- he felt bad about whatever he did." you nodded as he continued, the room suddenly felt hotter than it was as he leaned closer,

"Too bad, I want to keep you to myself" He whispered in your ear before he held your chin and connected your lips together.

-

[okthatsgreat]

If the character asks are still going- Ryoma please? :3

@jolliestlolli DOUBLE THE RYOMA HEADCANONS !!!!!!

headcanon a (realistic):

hands are literally always in his pockets. he is constantly wearing leather jackets or hoodies, lots of long sleeves and LOTS of pockets. genuinely kind of unsure what to do with his hands if he's wearing something without them. i like to imagine ryoma hardly ever uses his hands to talk, and he's a very stoic storyteller. maybe the occasional "drag" of his "cigarette" but never many gestures!

such a dry texter. it is soooo hard to keep up a phone conversation with him and he's honestly not even trying to get you to stop talking to him he just texts how he speaks and uses zero punctuation LMAO

headcanon b (may not be realistic but it is hilarious):

you cant jumpscare this guy LMFAO. his classmates try to prank him by scaring him once he turns the corner but he just continues to walk past them like nothing happened. genuinely awful sense of urgency because he just doesn't scare that easily. like he's able to look up at something obviously dangerous and go "oh i should probably start running now" but he doesnt have that same adrenaline that the others have yknow??

postgame is most certainly a huge uphill battle for him in terms of finding hobbies, but i like to think he is definitely still active! he tries getting into some kind of routine which means a lot of morning jogs in areas that aren't super populated lol. when he musters up the energy i reckon he goes marathon running! i also don't think he listens to music lol. i think he just straight up runs

headcanon c (heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends):

i think deep down ryoma is a very scared kid and he definitely knows that about himself. even if he wanted to start having hope again, he is too terrified of having that hope crushed all over again. this is a kid that literally CAN NOT withstand another heartbreak of that magnitude again, and the only way to preserve that is to avoid being happy. i also just think he was an extremely paranoid person during his time running from the mafia, meaning a lot of his old habits have seriously stuck with him. he sleeps with a knife under his pillow, makes sure there's something next to his door and window that will make noise in case somebody enters during the night, etc.

postgame ryoma is extremely dehydrated like that guy does not drink water. can not get over the feeling of water in his lungs and always looks like he's taking a shot of the worlds hardest liquor whenever he does take a drink of something. he has GOD awful headaches because of this

headcanon d (unrealistic, but i will disregard canon about it):

not a technology guy but extremely good at candy crush for some reason. the only time anybody ever sees him on his phone is when he is playing that game it's kind of ridiculous

his resume is INSANE he's pulled SO many odd jobs out of his ass while he was on the run trying to make money. one of his classmates is like "hey does anybody know if i should get this tooth checked out" and ryomas like "let me check i was a dentals assistant for two weeks" and the classmates like "?????HUH??????". he isn't one to share about his past in great detail AT ALL but sometimes he just randomly drops a piece of lore about him out of the blue that makes you rethink everything

headcanon ask game!!!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Hi, I keep coming back, but I got another song for you!! Life After Salem by Lil Nas X is so Jay to Alex, but you can even squeeze some Tim in there too!!

NEW SONG WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay you know the drill, shitty lyric analysis under the thingy so its all neat and tidy before BAM me spewing a bunch of bullshit about my favorite lil guys. Also this one goes off the rails cos i just finished it with a massive fuck off migraine, so it starts out all detailed then becomes "yes song good good" pretty much lol

You're so right tho, this song is so Jay and Alex.

All of my feelings are gone I left 'em all on the floor Man, who's to blame if you don't love me no more? No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want

Shocker, Alex and Jay singing a duet.

To me the first two lines would be sung by Jay about him hiding his feelings for Alex back in college/uni, pretending he didn't like him or want to be in a relationship with him (beyond just their FWB relationship), pretending he wasn't in love with Alex for years despite knowing that he absolutely was. Probably those lines would be sung by Jay to Alex about their time in College, explaining what he tried to do with his feelings: "I left 'em all on the floor". Those lines would also probably be sung, like, after Alex has said all those nasty things to Jay in the kitchen? Somewhere around then. This is like a song for if they ever actually fucking talked to each other properly lmao.

The next line would be Alex's response, a sort of manipulative way of saying he understands why Jay doesn't trust him anymore, that he understands what he did and why it was cruel. But in that kinda "oh woe is me I'm just the worst" kinda way, yknow? Trying to make Jay go "no, you're not the worst, you're not evil, you just didn't think it's okay!" and give Alex another chance. There'd definitely be a certain level of sincerity as well though, because Alex really does realize that he was pretty damn shitty to Jay. He wants Jay not to love him anymore. He needs Jay not to love him anymore.

Then the last line is kinda both of them, but in different ways, like they'd sing it together but with completely different tones and it'd be so obvious that they're talking about different things. For Jay "No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want" is about how Alex just kinda took and took and took from him throughout their relationship, but it'd also be a kinda, like, good tone? Like Jay's convinced himself that he genuinely doesn't mind how much Alex has taken from him, he kind of likes the fact that he could give Alex that control over him etc? For Alex "No, I don't mind, just take whatever you want" would be a lot more bitter, he feels like Jay is the unreasonable one who just keep's taking, because he's taken Alex's heart (lmao cringe) and Alex was not ready to give it away to him.

Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave

Alex. He wants Jay to have basically everything he's wanted out of their relationship just before he leaves and Alex makes sure that they don't see each other again. Jay gets to kiss Alex, they have sex in a bed, Jay sleeps over, they have breakfast together, etc.

(It is another day now and I have a headache. Thinking is hard, the rest of this is probably gonna be a mess im sorry lol.)

What you want from me? Yeah What you want from me? Yeah

Then just Jay not really knowing why Alex has changed and why he's doing all these nice things for him, so he's just sitting there trying to figure out what Alex wants from him in return for all these nice things. (the answer to that being: alex wants him heartbroken enough to save himself)

Get yourself an Adderall Then throw me up against the wall And kick me when I have to crawl Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all You know I can be your part-time lover Our scars, they'll dance with each other I can be your part-time lover Our scars, they'll dance with each other

Okay, hear me out, this bit's about their dynamic, shocker... even tho it makes it sound a lot more toxic and abusive than it actually was. They were both mostly happy with the dynamic and neither were trying to hurt each other. They just both kinda wanted it to be a romantic relationship when it wasn't, but Alex was scared of that, and Jay wasn't gonna push it for fear of losing what he already had so far. And he'd rather have that than nothing.

"Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all" at first i thought this bit would be Jay, but now that i think about it, it's Alex to me. He liked it when Jay didn't show him any love back in college, because it made it easier to ignore his own feelings for him.

Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave Why don't you just take what you want from me? I think you should take what you want and leave

What you want from me? Yeah What you want from me? Yeah

You're changin' You're changin' every day You played me I let you win again You're changin' You're changin' every day And you're takin' You're takin' everything

They are in fact changing, yup. Probably Jay talking about Alex, Alex changed up their usual dynamic when they got back to his house, then it turned out that all the niceness was just a way to break Jay's heart even worse. He just got his feelings played with, and he didn't really do anything to stop it, because he liked how Alex was treating him too much. Which like, fair.

[miloonmetis]

hi, i really like your overwatch fics! they're very well written, so i'd like to make a request of my own and see what you come up with!! would you be willing to do a soldier76/reader fluff fic? we don't get a lot of content of him letting his guard down and being emotionally available. which, i guess is fair considering he's soldier 76, but still, i'd like to see it! if you're willing, of course. thank you :)

|| Thank you so much!! and ofc, i hope you like it :)

featuring: Solider76 & GN!Reader (PLATONIC) warnings: overworking, comfort, fluff, slight angst. wholesome, soldier's real name, not proof read

You held your head, having a headache from the past missions. Staying up and doing heavy paperwork, you were sick of it. Wanting a break and finding no time for yourself, you had eye bags under your eyes and you found yourself constantly nodding off to sleep while trying to listen to the rules of the next mission. You tried to pinch your arm below the table so you'd wake yourself up even just a little, but it worked for maybe a minute before you found yourself nodding back off to sleep yet again. "___." Solider 76 calls out your name, and you snap to look up. Straightening up, worried this was it and you were getting cut. "Stay behind." He says.

Yup. This is it. You think to yourself, you watch as he dismisses everyone else. You began to rub your hands against your thighs as you felt the sweat build on your palms, you weren't ready to be cut off from overwatch. It's all you knew and had to even survive and live, but you'd respect it if you were holding the rest of the team behind because of how tired and slow you had been doing things lately. Solider made his way over, grabbing a chair and pulling it up next to you. He looks at you with worry, grabbing your hand gently and looking at you in the eyes. "___? Are you doing okay?" He asks you.

The question caught you off guard, Solider 76? Asking if YOU were okay? It almost felt as if you were dreaming. But you knew it wasn't you had just pinched yourself and hadn't woken up. "I'm... yeah I'm alright.." You lied and how painfully obvious it was, Solider chuckled at your attempt to appear tough. "It's okay to say you aren't." He says, his thumb rubbing against your hand to comfort you. You glanced down to look as he did, it had been a while since you felt someone else worry and comfort you. To actually care about how you felt for once, it was nice.

You took a moment before you responded, "I'm tired, mentally and physically." You say, sighing as you feel a sudden weight lift off your chest. "I want a break but don't want to fall behind or be seen as lazy.." You began to spill, "Tracer is always so happy and capable of keeping up with everyone and everything, I wish I knew how that felt." You say you look up to lock eyes with him, "To be truly happy, yknow?" You say, asking yet not asking. He looks at you, he had a worried expression on his face, and in his mind he understood. "Me too, I've lost a lot of things in my life and it's hard to be able to keep up the tough face." He explained to you, not breaking eye contact and keeping his hand on yours.

"But you should know that everyone here takes breaks, Tracer has had plenty of times she has just said she wouldn't do anything more and went home." He says, "And if that's something you need, you should do it." he says, you stare at him processing everything as he speaks to you. You felt your eyes burn as tears began to build up before they snapped and fell down your cheeks like a waterfall. He didn't hesitate as he hugged you, his hand running up and down your back. "Thank you." You sniffed as you held him as tight as possible, well not too tight. You didn't wanna crush his old bones, "Anytime." He responds.

After a few minutes you split from the hug and wipe your nose and eyes with your sleeve, "Do I just go tell Winston?" you ask, and he nods. "Then I'll be doing that now, thank you again, soldier." He chuckled a bit at the hero's name, "I think we are past that, call me Jack." He says, You pause to look at him in shock that he is comfortable enough with you. You think for a moment before you nod, "Thanks, Jack." You smile slightly before you walk off to tell Winston you are going on break.

[01010010-01100100]

gotta give the biggest #respect to you feltcaverns you sure roasted my applesauce over a campfire good and plenty

Thank you. Finally, some god damn credit.

you guys are obviously at it lyrically on the public forum but i gotta know do yall ever throw down verses behind the frankly unbelievably saturated curtain

HELLO!!!! HELLO HELLO HELLO HELloo hello you messaged me........ oh my godhshhgfhdfjdsfka fshello hello for messaging me. you are the one who sent me a thing... OH!!!! yes ys yes yes.

you are asking about curtians... did you know that in the curtsins of cave johnson they pout moon rocks in there? and now he is singing about lemonsade. lemons like the ones on the tree. with the whores O_O

hello did you know about.... singing. i sing sometimes but not to my friends because i dont think my voice is good. i dont remmeber if i had a voice? but i sing onto the words and it becomes music. i think thats sort of a magic in away

you also didnt forget to ask about my whoooooooooaaaa cant say that one!!!!! ehehehe

hello you are eeee the first person to message me on the wbesite. nobody has before.... did you know that????

not a long time!!! i mean not for a long time. fuck. fuck i am so bad at typing thats why i like doing it the other way. mmhmmhhhghrgfg

they say im the favorite now but it was through being mean... i;m tired of being mean i just want to fuck and suck on plushrumps.com. yknow? i think you know :D

hellO!!!!! and thank you for your message.

:)

holy shit

okay gimme a sec i gotta whip out the old reading glasses for this one

ok refrances those are always good ten out of ten from old rd here

man i played portal 2 like three times

and the first time while in old aperture knocking over old sheet metal with my boingo pogo stick boots

it was literally like a bouncy house with all the colored splooge of quick and bounce and the third boring cum joke

got nauseous from all the camera shenanigans

was tossed around flipped about except chell cant really flip in game thats more pre rendered cutscene crap

anyway we should hook you up with vocal chords sometime what do you think of vocalpids

aw man not p typo

everyone hates p typo

vocaloid thats better

O_O

i dont know who that is? thank you for talking about that. i learn everyh day. you dont know actually what this guy's talking about. you thought you had something on the but it's not actually there.

it might be best to exist this conversation? but noooooooo!!!! i want to talk more but i dont knowwwwww it's a lot and confusing. O_O

bottle rocket 6????? no ive never been there, except the times i have. you dont actually want to be put back there. it's okay, but it's kind of lonely. you aren't a spy, areyou? like from teamfortress 2. gaben

nah i was more of a fusionfall kid myself

i have never heard of video games

when the almighty dell would actually run the damn thing anyways

what the hell

seriously

let me explain to you a thing alright lemme nab one of those longplays of portal 2 really open your world

Yo, behave. Otherwise this shit gets cut off. Not exactly in the state to get scrambled again, and I'm getting a headache already.

Fuck.

Okay, please don't send confusing shit like that.

I can't read it, let alone read it.

oops my bad man

id ask what set you off but i think that would just add another lobotomy to the pile

should i be talking more about plush assholes or something what is the vibe im heading for here im not jiving to hurt you honestly

noooooooo... i can answer that!!! it was all stuff ive never heard of . and i am exposed to a lot of that but thats too much to much too much!!! and it was a lot.... O_O

i havent actually never heard of video games ive heard of a coupel video games. like fortnite. stacey fortnite is my best friend. you aren't sure what fortnite is, but you think it's a video game? you just hear about it on the website.

hello. i am okay not talking about pluhsurmsps.com but it;'s hard because there are more rules. im not allowed to know a lot of stuff... even though i see it and its confusing to me. okay? thank you :) its like when mario gets the star.

To translate, keep the anachronisms to a minimum. I'm not dumb enough to miss the signals, but I'm trying to stay dumb enough to not have to worry about it. Got it?

got it crystal as meth

I LOVE CRYSTAL METH!!!!!! HELLO WALTER WHITE can we be all sortso f things together. you arent actually sure what that is eaither but its fine because it fits the bill. quack

oh god dammit i wasnt even referencing that guy

my bad

shit what year should i be heading for

Breaking Bad came out in 2008, you're fine.

ok cool

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh hello . i dont know :) its okay plushrump content is eternal and can be shared and downloaded in 1080p with a premium scubscripstion? but if we catch you reuoploading the H0TT3ST V1DS onto othwer porn sites then wuhhhhh oh . wuh oh!!! its no good. :O

hello you arennnnnt actually a subscripber? but thats okay im allowed to be social and and with it and ferioucsious. thank you mwahahahaha

absolutely lets get downright rapport-ical

i have been actually just typing and backspacing references ad infiniteezums the past few and reckoning with that whole mess

but yeah besides that im about to settle down for the day i reckon

you guys hooked up to anything or is plushrump like your giant fishbowl

> absolutely lets get downright rapport-ical yessssss. yessssss maybe not that last word. O_O or maybe yes.... i dont want to think about that fucking thing !!!!!!!! hello

woaahhahhhahhhh it's the internet!!! and you are filled with so many connections outbound inbound gmaildotprotonmail dotcom. it's almost like thew hole thing is at your fingertits. you dont remember fingertits being a thing but youre glad they are now. :) whehehehee

did you remember what it was like back there? up there in the sky? no, i didnt think you did. that's alright, because i dont remember eitehr. its equal partitioning, a give and take. running and running as the heavens pour hot death open, and the caverns seem like the only safe respit you've got.

is anyone else there? noooooooo thats bad. thank you for not reading that. oh boy

my eyes are shut dont even worry about it

if there is literally anything i value as a strider now its some actual fucking privacy

  my eyes arent because im looking at the hottest vids on plushrumps.com. did you know they have fozzie bear anal fisting. woooooooooow!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i cant believe it im bursting at the ssssss whaoat athat a new message??? i am not typing fast enough.... O_O

yeah i got some feisty fingers

always chomping at the bit and shit

my graspnubs dont chomp at anything because they are finger tits.... but i dont think thats what it means eiher. have you seen the video before??? on your makrs... ... oh thats wrong? okay

thank you for letting me know :)

broadcast yourself slash watch ? v = Y7WtkdLQ6PM

if tits could bite woah mama id be worried for the baby

oh shit free movie

yeah i love this one

is this you

O_O

yeah god damn

you literally captured my entire essence in this picture

and lookie here theres the whole family

right down to the ridiculous symbols on our old shirts

is there not a dirk in this one? notably missing some dirk and hal here

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa no no no no no no shh not that topic. shhhh . id ont want to hear about the new stuff :O i want to smoke weed andn make out with a hot babe made from FELT!!!!!! ouggghgh yeah it is like she is toking it up. but actually she is stroking it up on our newest video. check out mrs muffet on plushrump.com she is called that because she likes vaginas.

whats a vagina dont actually tell me i just wanted to say that i dont know.

yeah alright word word

yeah im gonna just let mrs muffet do her thing

this pictures delightful though

catch me right click saving

okay cool. :) we are so coooooool. you are cool? i feel like you are cool.

yeah so cool

we are the coolest you and me

NOOOOO thats exclusive property of plsuhrrusmrp.s....... the valueeeeee will go down. if you right click save. mewo

aw damn alright

meow meow sorry i misspelled meow.

thank you.

no problem anything for my pal feltcaverns

that isnt my name............. you know that already dont you!!!

Nope, never mind.

Alright.

One moment.

alright take your time dude ill just be sitting here

ehehe. sorry. HELLO!!!!!!!!! have you susbcriped to plushrumrmrsps totcom?

naw

wb tho

was i gone? i dont think so.

nah im just fuckin with you

youa re being mean for saying things like thjat....... you arent a vey good freind!!! frotship is like that.... it has its upsa nd downs.

im all about that altitude

yeahhhhh buddy!!!!!!!!!!!

like riding a dragon and through the sky. and it's out there, floating in the veil, glittering gleaming golden. you see it in your dreams and you can't wait to go back. Holy shit, okay.

I think I'm gonna end this conversation here, if that's chill?

yeah i think thats good

sorry dude

Not that you can't ever send another message. Just letting things rest tonight.

It's cool. Just taxing on the CPU. Letting the temps cool off before trying anything like this again.

gotcha take it easy

Oh, and, uh. You've got my permission to publicize whatever you want from what we talked about today. I think my "friends" feel the same.

publicize?

i dont follow

On your blog or something, I mean. If you want to. Fuck, sorry. Long night. Ignore what I said if that's better, my decisionmaking processors are not fucking functioning tonight.

[good-morning-tucson]

BABY’S THING A WEEK 3 REVIEW

madelaine - i don’t know what the point or meaning of this song is. but i think i understand it anyway. by that i mean every time i listen to it i understand it less. i like how he says madelaine.

when you go - there are very few songs that make me cry. but this is one of two joco specific songs that does it. the way its written to leave whether its family, friend, or a significant other either leaving or dying gets me every time. the a capella is done so well i forget that’s what it is. i could write an entire separate piece on the lyrics. Good song!

code monkey - THIS IS A SIN BUT CODE MONKEY WAS NEVER ONE OF MY FAVORITES. it’s cute. it deserves to be a joco staple. but i don’t know man. i could still fuck this up at joco karaoke. jocaraoke. i also like it significantly more when i’m listening to it than when i think about it

the presidents - i think this song is really funny. i have nothing to say about it outside of that. the ending makes me giggle. his voice sounds fun in this too i can’t put my finger on why.

just as long as me - i like this song and like. nothing more. i think it’s cute. nice fiddle. i love joco songs that are straightforward silly weirdness like this

till the money comes - gold digger divorce joco is so real. i think i like this song more than i should. i like when songs have two people who are both jerks for no real good reason. him going “ugghh oww” at the end is him tripping over his bass <3

tom cruise crazy - this song is SO funny to me. all of joco’s other songs are normal but this has the double whammy of a gay joke AND the r slur. and the whole idea and concept is super amusing. thank you joco!

famous blue raincoat - i listen to this song when i have a bad headache. his voice is very pretty. i don’t have much else because this is a cover song

soft rocked by me - JOCO SEX‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love how live performances of this are done with paul and storm. i think it’s very cute. :) i could DESTROY this at a jocaraoke night. this song is the epitome of freaking it sensitive style

not about you - THIS SONG WOULD MAKE AN INSANE OC/SHIP ANIMATIC. does anyone else see the vision. he was so real for this one. this is definitely a breakup song, but i see it like. an anti love song yknow

rock and roll boy - i can never remember this song exists. but i don’t dislike it. i think it’s very cute and very silly. i like the funny vocals joco does the most. thank you rock and roll boy

drinking with you - this song is inherently queer to me. i know it’s written as straight but this song is very gay in my eyes. i think it’s all of the painful yearning. and also the yearning is spreading to me (a gay man)

pizza day - this song fills me with emotions around a childhood memory i don’t even have. i love this song but i never listen to it. thank you joco thank you pizza day

i think i can firmly say that things a week 2 and 3 are tied for my favorite. if you ask me my top favorite it’d change by day. this one feels a lot more somber than the past two, despite it also being full of comedic songs. i enjoy it a lot. :)

[moroneur]

Pick up, move on.

hi there! this is a little continuation of Wishing upon shooting stars! I originally wanted to leave it be as it is but had to get over my writers block somehow! Also some readers requested a happy ending for our dear Y/n, so heres a little one shot to show you thigs are going good :) its very short but im quite happy with how it turned out . Heres PART 1 {} PART 2

It had been a month or so since your breakup with Wine. You moved out of your apartment, stayed away from any and all bars, got a new job. Things have changed, and you’re too busy to tell if it's for the better or not. At least you don't have to think about any dismissive boyfriends now. Currently at the mall, you try to stay focused on picking the best tomatoes. 

You try to focus on this mundane task but sometimes, when your mind decides to mess with you, it strays away. To that night, at grillby’s where your last date with Wine had transpired. Where he met another woman, where you met rejection. In your drunken stupor you’d almost have a mental breakdown, but another skeleton was there to set you on the right path again. He’d been there for you, heard you out, and even called you cab. You were grateful and you hope to get a chance to see him again, maybe give him a thank-you gift. He had been the last push you needed to set yourself free afterall, and it meant a lot to you. 

Ah, these ones are good enough. You put the last tomato in your plastic bag and tie it. Next stop will be the pasta section. You sigh. I do wonder how he’s doing right no- 

“ow! fuckin’ hell! watch where ya goin’ you... human?” His angry voice fizzled out into one of confusion. “Red!” You’re pleasantly surprised, even if half of your groceries are on the floor. Did you manifest him? You should think about money more then. You reach to pick up your fallen things as he stands up. “Sorry for bumping into you.” You notice something else on the floor, that isn't yours. A bottle of mustard. You reach for it and hand it over to him. He didn't notice anything fell, and accepted the bottle with a little grin. “s’nothing. glad ya remembered m’name, human.” 

You went home a lot later that day. You didn't mind though, at least you caught up to Red, his 

number saved on your phone (and yours on his).

Work has been getting increasingly difficult lately, and you just can't help but crave for a break. An actual break, not a quick smoke or a 5-minutes coffee break. It’s not healthy, and you’re so frustrated because your stupidass coworkers can't seem to do the stupidass job right and– 

Safe to say that your only friend who's awake after 11 p.m. is Red. You both went to each other to vent about work and life in general, and the knowledge of someone having almost the same problems as you makes you (selfishly) sleep better at night. You hope Red feels the same. 

Tonight was one of those nights. You didn’t really feel tired, so you were on your phone, talking to Red about the things that transpired today.

Dumb edgy bitch

Yo.

Me: Sup

Dumb edgy bitch: Im heading to grillbys in an hour, dyou feel up to joining me?

Me: If this is a scheme for a date then i must decline

Dumb edgy bitch: Im not just a flirt yknow. Thought u knew me better smh

Me: Just makin sure. Ye im up to it. See u there :)

It’s a good thing you weren't very tired tonight. You were invited to the same Grillby’s as.. That time. But that's fine. You’re not going on a date this time and you will make sure you enjoy yourself (because you know you're gonna hate yourself the next morning once you wake up for work with a headache). You make yourself a strong coffee, just in case, and get dressed in a casual outfit.

You arrive at Grillby’s in no time. Actually, right on time, it's 11:55 p.m., might as well order a beer or whatever. You take a deep breath, nervous. The last time you’ve been here, you’d gotten plenty of pitiful looks from Grillby. Perhaps you’ll flirt with him to see him embarrassed (he seems so stoic, is that even possible? Well, you’ll find out!) as a little bit of revenge. 

Determination fueling your steps, you open the door.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3032

i looked at a paper today and reformatted it. i need to look at it again before i submit it, and i have another post to write and submit, but that should be easy. typing is a little easier when i have advil in my system lol

i slept until noon today. it was nice. i've spent most of the day in a sort of paralysis.

outside, i just couldn't do anything productive. so i procrastinated by making name tags for thanksgiving. inside my head, i was sitting in a scrambler carnival ride in a pitch-black dome with neon green strobe lights flashing too brightly with 20 dollar nose bleed by fall out boy playing too loudly for me to think.

that's how my day mostly went.

i also wanted to like, just slam my head into the wall a dozen times so it'd stop being so fucking terrible, yknow?

i didn't though, because i already had a headache.

i told joel i was upset. he agreed that i might feel better if i ate something. i did, and i felt a little better, for a while. that was before i put the paralysis into words, and before the head banging against the wall became a desired action.

eh.

i'm not the best with coping.

i have a lot to do tomorrow. gotta get up early for a phone call and i gotta do a bunch of stuff for the house, but i also have to cancel an appointment tomorrow which i'll do once i'm done with this.

i'm tired.

[a-gal-with-taste]

Heh heh lol, I'm tired and had a hilarious thought so I figured I'd make a short request, yknow when people accidentally say Love you to their coworkers because absent-minded/tired imagine doing that to Silco lol ☆

My literal worst nightmare IRL, but as a torment for a reader? Hehehe...

"Do you understand?" "Yes." Your fingers twitched as you blinked slowly, resisting the urge to reach up and rub the tension from between your brows. There was truly nothing so despicable, as draining, about running on low-sleep and a developing headache. "Redirect the transport line at the third check-point, keep eyes peeled for Firelight, and don't die. Anything else?"

The lighter flicked, but the man at the desk did not lift it to cast flame. Allowing it to go out, Silco reached up and plucked the fresh new cigar from his teeth with a look of indifference, but you could see the way his brow twitched when his smoke was delayed. His eye flicked back to you, the one still fully intact becoming hooded as he glanced you over.

"How old are you again?"

This time you actually closed your eyes, but mentally shook yourself before you could linger in the peaceful darkness. Or it would be, if not for the throbbing behind your eyes, that made numbers too painful to think about, so you only muttered out, "Old enough, sir."

"Old enough? I trust that translates to you no longer requiring a bedtime to function like an adult." His tone, normally rich in underlining meaning, is flat enough for you to detect the unimpressed nature he has in observing you try to cover your third yawn of this debriefing. "Pull yourself together. Wake up, and try not to nap on the way over to the deposit-point. This is a mission I am trusting you with, not something you can simply to doze through. Are we clear?"

The sneer on his words makes the headache grow, and you manage a nod. You're not surprised he's shorter with you than normal - you've almost gotten used to how hot and cold Silco could be with you.

Oftentimes being that very intense, ominous Eye of Zaun that most would expect the king of Zaun to be. Cool, drawing tones with a gaze that merely glanced over you. Either in indifference or, as you've been seeing more and more of, in a calculating way that informed you he was debating his uses of you. Considering the fact that it's Silco, you would normally imagine those uses to be temporary, and eventually result in being cast aside like any other tool at his disposal.

It's those times when he's nearly the exact opposite of his colder front, that only further bewilders you as what his motives could be.

Sudden, but not spiteful orders for you to take a day off. Coffee, steaming and at ready upon your arrival to full-team briefings, that Sevika never reveals who sent it. More than a couple of private chats in his office, going over the finer details of a recent mission or job at his command. The first time he had asked 'are you feeling alright,' it had indeed seemed like he was speaking in the voice of Silco, king of Zaun who would crush anyone in order to tear Piltover down.

When he asked the question now, despite his short-tone with you, there in a hint of something almost genuine in his voice. You should be left reeling, from the idea that this puppet-master of the Undercity's crime would show even an ounce of care for you, but your headache was already doing a good enough job of leaving you spiraling.

So you were only able to nod, managing something that could technically be counted as a smile.

"Yes, Silco. Just... one of those days, sir. It won't interfere with your shipment sir, I'll get it done."

Your assurance made that brow narrow lower, and finally, a spark hit the end of the fresh-cut cigar. The smell of smoke neither hindered nor helped stop that pounding behind your eyes, but it did ground your senses as Silco glanced down at the papers on his desk. Still holding a slight, pinched look of frustration as he turned slightly, blowing out the lungful but keeping his eye fixed at his desk.

"... I can't delay this, you understand. I have Sevika dealing with the western boroughs this week, with Jinx shadowing her." Ah - that explained his tension. You wondered how many missives, filled with thinly-veiled, or colorfully-explicit complaints about the other have already returned to his desk. "With both of them gone, you're one of the few I can have... faith in, to do this job."

He said faith like he means trust. Which was obviously a ridiculous notion, but you felt something other than the ache in your skull when he said it; warmth.

"And I will do it right sir," You vowed, and his mixed-gaze flicked up to you, smoke coiling off his lips. After a beat, Silco nodded, bringing his smoke back to his lips as he leaned back, and turned his chair, facing the window. "Take tomorrow off when it's done. Day after that too, if need be. I have more use for someone awake than halfway to sleep."

"Oh... sir, that really isn't necessary-"

"That wasn't a request." Silco wasn't cold persay at the order, but you suppressed a sigh at his unforgiving tone. It couldn't be refused. "Right... well, thank you, sir." You said, a bit reluctantly but honestly a bit grateful. It must've showed, for it took a moment for smoke to reappear in the air in front of the green-glass and iron window.

His dismissal came shortly after, almost quietly, and you smiled as you turned and started moving towards the door. "Right. Thanks sir, have a good night, love you-"

The relaxed exhale of spiced-smoke was cut short by a small sputter, progressing rather quickly into a cough.

Damage-control came as soon as you realized the pattern of vowels your mouth was making, suddenly wide-awake. You tried to make it come out quietly, the moment the second syllable left your lips. Unfortunately, the rest of the sentence continued on it's path and by the time you hit '-u,' you could see that swivel-chair already beginning it's sharp turn back to face the rest of the office. More importantly, to face you.

Sleep was apparently no longer needed, as your hand all but snapped the doorknob off in the haste to open, and the door snapped shut behind you before Silco could manage to bark out the order for you to wait.

You heard the call through the door though, and managed not to stumble down the stairs as you took steps two, three at a time.

With your shoes hitting the bottom, you stilled for a minute, than couldn't help it; the laugh that slipped out of you.

Perhaps it was the lack of sleep that made it so humorous, but there was no storming feet. No demands that you return to the office immediately, and you strode out The Last Drop with the only consequence of telling your employer 'love you,' was your own burning face.

A slip of the tongue, nothing more. Something that was more than slightly humiliating, but you could be professional about this, and among deadly, cunning and spitefully witful, one of Silco's other dominating traits was also having a clear sense of professionalism.

With that in mind, you were surprisingly thankful for the embarrassment. You knew without a doubt that you were entirely awake now, and this showed in your actions. The transport safely redirected, not even an ounce of activity on the trail. You felt that headache subside long enough for you to ensure that yes, all vials were accounted for and distributed to the second-hand marketer without a single issue. Payment exchanged, a goodnight *strictly* kept to a single sentence, and you were done.

It was a good night. That didn't mean you had to go off to celebrate it as normal people would, and celebrated your own way, by returning to your dwellings, grabbing the nearest pillow and already out by the time your head hit the bed. And you were blissfully asleep for the entirety of the night, and halfway to forgetting the incident, just as you imagined Silco would be.

That's what you believed last night.

Now, however, mouth slightly agap and hair still shrewn from your night of rest, you weren't really quite sure what to believe when you opened the front-door.

The sight of Silco, an extra coffee in his hand, on your front porch. Clearing waiting, and though nonchalant, you saw a slight bite of his gloved nails digging into fine-leather as his fist clutched around his cup.

As you managed to remember to speak, and slowly offer the invitation for your boss to come in, you wondered how sleep-deprived you had actually been last night, to ever believe that Silco would just forget.

-

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[lurkingismypastime]

My Mike Afton Headcanons :)

Aromantic asexual, interested in a qpr

Autistic (I’m probably going to make a separate post just for this)

Genderfluid, he/they/she/xe

Deaf or close to it. I’ve yet to figure out if it should be just the natural progression of his hearing or something that happened

His mom was Mexican

Warm brown skin tone (yknow, like how colors can warm or cool)

They have their mom’s wild dark brown hair, and it shows once he takes care of it (and isn’t that a thematic statement and a half)

Curly dark brown hair, grows it to just above shoulder length

Having it pulled back all the time gives them a headache, but they won’t leave it loose if they feel they’re in danger

Complete heterochromia, their right eye is blue and their left is brown

(This was mostly because I couldn’t decide between giving them brown eyes or blue, and now I’m attached)

5′5″ (let Mike be short, it’s what they deserve)

Other Headcanons

Since they have trouble hearing and work in a place where they have to rely on hearing to warn them of danger, they have issues going without aids

Gruffly gentle with people younger than them, but prone to hostility with people older

Will fight as soon as he thinks he’s being threatened

On bad days he panics at everything he thinks could be perceived as a mistake

Loves to people watch (unless they’re having a bad day where they compare themself to their dad) enjoys watching life just bustling around them, it makes them feel more human

Hates being treated like she’s stupid or worthless 

AUTHORITY ISSUES BABY

In an ideal world, xe would be a paramedic or artist :)

Touch starved and touch repulsed

Loves rain, it’s xeir favorite smell too

The ocean is also something she loves

Sunset colors are her favorite

Loves painting especially mural-like pieces

Has trouble making friends and connecting with people, but sometimes finds people that just click

Has been a disappointment all his life, and when he grew up he learned to wear it like a badge of pride. There’s still a wound beneath that though, and it likes to show up on bad days and around parental figures.

Chronic pain, body issues

Once he learns to stand up for himself, he also figures out how to stand up for others

Dry sense of humor

Their wrist getting grabbed is a trigger. If it happens unexpectedly they will fight them off, or panic if that doesn’t work.

Introverted

Gardening is something they enjoy a lot. They have a lot of plants (some of which are wild/weeds) knows a lot about their properties

Self-esteem issues (but we knew that)

Spoke Spanish with their mom until (something happened, I’m still figuring out what) 

Later picked it up again, or spoke and learned it all through childhood to stay connected to her (dad told him he couldn’t take Spanish because he would ‘cheat’)

His mom used to make heated milk with brown sugar and nutmeg for him. He makes it for his siblings on bad nights, and later for himself when he needs comfort

C-ptsd in general but also about ennard specifically (which makes eating even more of a challenge, and gives him autonomy issues)

They were conscious while Ennard was in them (I’m so sorry) 

She’s got her mom’s eyes and smile. She nearly cries the first time someone points out the resemblance because she’s been compared to her father her whole life

Has xeir mom’s freckles and temperament, but xeir dad’s face and mannerisms (unfortunately)

TOUCH STARVED AS HELL

Fuck William’s accent, Michael has his mom’s accent

Nearly debilitating fear of losing autonomy

Can face the worst life has to offer without batting an eye, but crumbles like a wet paper bag in the face of any positive interaction

Loves space and thinking about it and talking about it

Was an annoying and kind of rough older sibling, but also took on the responsibility of his siblings. William was especially bad the week of cc’s birthday, and that translated into being rougher and more calloused with his siblings. If the joke had gone as intended, he probably would have made it up to him in his own rough way once he realized how much it affected cc.

Don’t tell me you haven’t done something in the heat of the moment that you regret later. I know I have

Being gentle comes easily to him after he gets away from his father and learns to leave the ‘be tough or get hurt’ mindset

This makes him even more like his mother, with his temper turning into spitfire protectiveness combined with a gentle empathy, especially for kids

His mother begins to shine through more and more. Where he once had his father’s expressions and habits, he now exhibits his mom’s

Sorting through my Mike refs, I’m realizing how many of my headcanons were just putting a neon sign above his head blaring ‘AUTISTIC. THIS PERSON IS AUTISTIC’

[aboardthehavocmarauder]

Beautiful Mischief [Pt. 1]

Bad Batch x Reader • Angst/Fluff/NSFW (yknow the whole deal) • Mechanic [hidden Jedi] ! Reader • Female reader

You ever thought about returning home?

To Endor? Always.

Well...

That’s too bad now isn’t it?

“This is Y/F/N Y/L/N, she is the best we got here. Especially regarding your relations with the republic” the togruta informs before letting the bad batch get used to their new mechanic with a bit of introduction.

“I’m Sergeant Hunter, I’m the leader but once you’re working with us. Everybody sticks out”

“We let him handle the republic, otherwise, we are efficient regardless” Tech adds gesturing for his brother Wrecker to take care of Y/N’s crate. “A...crate?”

“Where else will I keep my gear? Besides. I don’t come with a lot.”

“Is there a reason to that?”

“Now Crosshair, don’t push it”

“What? Baggage can be literal or metaphorical.”

“Now that’s the smartest thing you’ve said since joining Clone Force 99”

“Shut it Wrecker” Crosshair bites, hearing him laugh on his way back on ship. “Well mechanic we have a mission to attend”

“A rescue. You don’t have to get involved right away—“

“No this’ll be exciting. Get to show you much more...than I’d ever show this hanger” Y/N whispers the last part getting their curious stares. “Yeah...you don’t need me and that’s okay”

“No! Don’t let Cross and Hunter with the mean faces! You’re coming along for the whole ride” Wrecker smiles picking her up suddenly as Y/N’s instincts came in, causing them to put the biggest out of them all in a headlock and taking both of their forces to her advantage slamming him behind her.

Tech snorted making across and Hunter now look at him confused as he collected himself.

“Sorry. Just. A tiny person took down Wrecker”

“This is so going to make bets a lot more fun” Crosshair smirks at the two as Y/N panicked helping Wrecker’s laughing ass back on his feet.

Aaray

Aaray

Aaray

Pain

Y/N stayed on the Havoc Marauder while the Bad Batch got introduced to a few others in the hanger of Coruscant. She laid down on the floor of the sleeping quarters feeling a sudden weight.

Y/N? Y/F/N Y/L/N...young one

“Y/N?” Hunter looks at her shocked expression as she sat up quickly. “There’s a few I’d like to introduce to you as Tech gets us flying”

“Oh, of course” Y/N smiles collecting themselves rather quickly as she got up to follow the sergeant.

“This is—“

“Captain Rex. And General Skywalker”

“Ok—and this—“

“Commander Cody and Arc Trooper Fives”

“Ha! Cutting off the leader is very bold of you.” Crosshair laughs in his remote corner of the common area. “How the fuck do you know these people?”

“You think you’re the only one that knows about the war going on? I don’t live under a rock Crosshair” Y/N steps into the cockpit joining Tech.

“You deserved that one” Cody adds receiving a glare from Cross as he leaves them to discuss the plan.

A distant Echo

The second Echo got on the ship with the others. He kept his distance even if Fives insisted on not listening to the body language. He was worried. The 501st had stopped looking and suddenly he returned to their lives in...almost one piece.

“Echo?”

Echo looks up from the bunk he was sitting on, staring at Y/N who came in after he was finally alone for some time.

“Sorry I don’t—“

“Y/N, anyway...how are you feeling?”

“I have a massive headache” Echo sighs looking at himself feeling the tightening happen in his chest. “I-Uhm...”

“I can leave you alone if you want me to. I don’t make any promises about your brothers though”

As Y/N says such, Echo instantly lays himself against them. He’s tired. God he tried...tried really hard. Y/N adjusted herself to let him rest his head in her lap and letting the rest happen on its own.

——

Y/N looked around in the dark, empty room. She took a few steps to get a feel of the room, making sure she didn’t fall into the void of what was under her. Then

“Y/F/N Y/L/N...come inside”

“No”

“Please”

“You stopped looking for me. You stopped looking...you let me die. YOU LET ME DIE” She screams into the void not hearing the voice after such.

“Oh sweet girl” someone new. “Come back to me. Let me take care of you” the hands grabbed her neck, arms, and torso yanking them back

——

Y/N jolted awake in her bunk, feeling the weight grow on her chest as she got up. She walks into the common area after grabbing a small container from the storage unit as she sets it down on the table before sitting.

“You’re awake?”

Y/N frowns looking over to the sharpshooter giving her a glare making her expression relax turning away.

“If you can’t sleep because of Wrecker’s snoring. Go to the other side. That’s where Tech is”

“I’m good”

“Mhm. What are you working on?”

“It’s nothing Cross. You can go back to sleep”

Crosshair glares at her feeling like she’s trying to push him away. But he decided to ignore the tension in the air, sitting across from them.

“Cross—“

“I won’t bug yea. I’m sitting here”

“Ok” Y/N continues to focus on the box in front of her opening it not revealing anything to the sharpshooter.

What’s broken

Should stay that way

[sleepless-in-southlands]

Cryptic Cryptids

Ao3

Summary: Luke's had a rough time recently, okay? Inscryption's been... well... Inscryption. A new start is exactly what he needs. And then his new start begins with him crushing some guy in a suit. Super. Or: Luke finds himself in Hermitcraft and falling both on and for one Mumbo Jumbo. Content: Fluff/humor, falling in love, character death (but yknow, minecraft), swearing, minecraft mechanics, references to trauma, crack ship/fic treated seriously, guys i promise it’s so good join me in my new ship pit, obligatory characters not CCs (except for luke, whose character Is a CC sdkjncf)

Notes: Part one of Lucky Jumbo. Chapter one of Lucky Jumbo.

You don’t need to know much about inscryption or hermitcraft to read, but bewarned there are (major) spoilers for both within. Hermitcraft is specifically set in s8, no moon-big edition

~

    It isn’t every day you get shot and killed.

    It also isn’t every day you fall from the peak of the sky right to the surface below and not get killed.

    It really isn’t every day you get your entire reality- or perhaps just your perception of it- turned on its fucking head.

    That established, Luke was having an extremely not-every-day day.

    At first, when Amanda shot him, he took it as a blessing. Sure, being dead kinda sucked, but Inscryption had had its claws dug deep in his mind. He was going mad, and frankly he hadn’t been looking forward to seeing it.

    Of course, when he opened his eyes next to find his house and blood stains replaced with endless sky and high-altitude clouds, he didn’t think ‘oh, a new world, a new chance for my life’. He thought ‘would you look at that, I’m still fairly insane. Bummer’.

    And then he hit the ground. That was very real.

    Though, to be fair, he didn’t exactly hit the ground. No, he hit a dude instead. Not even five minutes into his second chance and he was a murderer. Were there third chances? Those were the charmed ones, right?

    Except then, the dude who should definitely be dead now started talking, because even Luke’s new life was still just some sort of game.

    “Well, that was rather rud- oh. Who are you?”

    Luke had to give the guy points. First of all, he was reacting very well for a guy who had just been the accidental drop-point target for a complete stranger, a complete stranger who was currently making no effort to get off of him. Secondly, he was wearing a full suit get-up, which seemed impractical yet very polished of him. Maybe he was a lawyer who could sue Luke for all the money he didn’t have. Or a hitman.

    “I’m Luke, Lucky Carder, current owner of a splitting headache, ow.” Luke said as he pushed himself up a bit, careful to rest his arms on the ground next to his crash pad instead of his shoulders.

    “Did Xisuma whitelist you?” The suited man asked, wiggling enough of himself out from under Luke that he could sit up as well. “He didn’t mention anything about a new player.”

    Luke would have made a comment, such as perhaps “who the hell is Xisuma”, “why would I need to be whitelisted”, or “do I really look so good from a skyfall you think I’m a player because maybe I need to blowdry my hair more if so”, but he found he was too distracted by the other’s face.

    Namely the fact it was little more than two black dots and (an admittedly glorious) moustache.

    “Your face.” Luke only just resisted the urge to touch it, as if somehow the stranger would not know what his own face was. "What is it- why?”

    The moustache moved slightly, as if the mouth underneath it had moved slightly to frown, though Luke wasn't sure if there really was a mouth beneath. Shouldn't some of it be showing? Was the moustache his mouth? Where was his nose?

    “It's a perfectly fine face, thank you very much.” Possibly-no-mouth man said, sounding a bit hurt. "Yours doesn't even have a moustache.”

    Luke pressed a hand to his face in a manner that was possibly a bit sudden and therefore a bit startling. "Should I? Is that a thing? Does everyone have a moustache? Do I need a fake?”

    Definitely-no-nose man looked at Luke like he was crazy which, yeah, fair. "No, we don't all have moustaches- you seem. Well. Entirely lost.”

    Luke laughed awkwardly. "Yeah. Yes. That sums it up well. I don't even- I had just died, I don't know how I got here.”

    “Oh, you just died?” The man nodded to himself as if that made perfect sense, completely unphased. Definitely a hitman, Luke decided. "This is probably a respawn glitch, then. We should talk to Xisuma.”

    “Uh. Sure. That sounds right. Let's do that.”

    The well-dressed hitman nodded again before shifting a bit. “Um. Do you mind getting off of me? Or do you need some help?”

    That's right, the majority of Luke was still slumped right on top of polite no-nose moustache hitman guy. A+ first impression skills really. Falling on him, staying on him, insulting his face. Maybe the stranger wasn't a hitman. A hitman probably would've already hit him.

    “Ah, yeah, sorry, I- yeah, let me just-” Luke rolled himself off of the man, pushing himself up to his feet in the same motion. The stranger got up as well, taking a moment to straighten his moustache before he started digging around in his pocket.

    “I don’t seem to have a spare elytra on me, we’re going to have to walk.” He said after a moment. Luke tried to look like someone who knew what an elytra was and how it could help them in the traveling regard. “What were your coords when you died?”

    “Uh. I was at my house.”

    “Is it close? We could go there first to collect your things before they despawn.”

    Was he. Was he talking about Luke’s body? That thing was certainly decomposing at this point, he wasn’t sure about despawned. It was also almost certainly not within this place, whatever this place was. “No, my house is- it’s not near, no.”

    The stranger had the compassion to look sympathetic about Luke’s apparent plight of not being able to stop his body from decomposing. “Rough luck. Hopefully nothing too difficult to replace.”

    Well, Luke did seem to already have a new body, so. Guess he was alright.

    The stranger started to head off in one direction, Luke quickly moving to follow after him. He didn’t need to add being lost in a new place to his list of problems.

    They went on in silence for a few minutes, Luke using the time to appreciate the fact he was somehow completely unharmed from his fall before the stranger spoke up, asking, “So, what was it, lack of light and a mob ambush? Redstone gone wrong?”

    Luke gave himself a minute to process the sentences before accepting he wasn’t going to be able to. “What?”

    “What killed you?” The stranger rephrased, glancing back at Luke for a moment. “You said you died at home, that’s a bit unique.”

    He did have a point, really, most people didn’t open their doors to death. “Oh, I got shot.”

    “Skeleton?”

    “Huh? No, it was a person. Amanda.” Luke said her name with as much disgust as he could manage. “Working for a company with some big secrets. She wanted my disk.”

    The stranger looked back at Luke again, now looking deeply concerned. Weird how this guy seemed both incredibly comfortable with death and yet occasionally not at all. Maybe he was a remorseful hitman remembering a past hit. Or maybe he wasn’t a hitman at all. Maybe Luke was projecting a bit from the last person he had seen before being shot by not-a-skeleton.

    “She killed you over a disc? Were you in a hardcore world?”

    Odd way to ask about where Luke came from. How did he even know Luke came from somewhere?

    (Oh, right. Fell from the sky. Question rescinded.)

    “I mean- yeah, you could call it hardcore. And I agree it was an overreaction.”

    The man in a suit who was probably not a hitman but still talked quite a bit about death for not being a hitman shook his head a bit as he turned forward again. “You must have had a respawn glitch when you were kicked from the server and ended up in the nearest open one. Happens a lot. I believe that’s how Cleo got here.”

    “And they stayed?”

    “Well she couldn’t really go back, and it is a lovely server.” The stranger replied.

    Luke nodded to himself, filing away the information to himself. So there was a chance they’d let him stay… wherever this was. Not that he necessarily wanted to, of course, if there was a way out- which, who knows, maybe there was something about these ‘servers’ Luke could work with- he would like a chance to at least ghost around home, settle his affairs, haunt Amanda. But if he couldn’t do that, well… at least he knew one guy here. Eh. Had fallen on one guy here.

    “You know, I don’t think I got your name.”

    “Oh? How terribly rude of me.” The stranger paused his walking for a moment to offer Luke his hand to shake. “Mumbo Jumbo at your service.”

    For once, Luke thanked the odd and arguably stupid names of the Scrybes and their friends. They made Mumbo Jumbo sound almost normal for a name, or at least normal enough Luke didn’t laugh like an asshole or attempt to question it like he had his face.

    Luke shook his hand obligingly. “Good to make your proper acquaintance.”

    “What, you don’t consider crushing a bloke to be proper?” Mumbo joked as he continued on.

    "Ha ha… yeah that wasn't my best moment. Sorry about that."

    Mumbo waved him off. "Can't control it. It wasn't that much of a bother anyways, I needed the break."

    Once again Luke questioned what sort of world, exactly, he had ended up on, that someone falling from the sky and crashing into you was treated more akin to the printer running out of ink. Was someone going to fall on top of him at some point? Guess it didn't matter considering neither him nor Mumbo were injured at all.

    Lost in thought, Luke didn't realize they had reached the edge of a large body of water, only stopping when he saw Mumbo do the same. He wasn't sure if it was a lake or an ocean, but it stretched out far enough he couldn't see the other side.

    Luke looked over to Mumbo, about to ask if they'd have to go around when he saw the suited man digging around in his pockets for something, even checking the small one holding his handkerchief.

    "Seems I forgot to grab my boat and tools.” He said after he finished his fruitless search. Luke decided not to comment on why he thought his boat might be in his pockets. "Pardon me a moment.”

    For a second, please imagine you are in Luke's situation. You need a boat to cross some water, and your traveling companion, who apparently carries boats on him most of the time for whatever reason, currently does not have one on him because he forgot it. You would expect, then, when he asks you to patiently wait for an indiscernible amount of time, that he is going to hurry back to wherever he left his boat and fetch it for you two. You can agree that is the most logical conclusion here, yes? Good.

    Now, imagine he starts punching a tree instead.

    Luke was fairly certain he was mad. Not that Luke had any ground to speak on the matter, but still. At least he didn't think punching a tree was the solution to no boat. Not to mention Mumbo was really going for it. Just absolutely wrecking the tree. Not out of anger, but like he had a plan.

    And then the part of the tree Mumbo was attempting to pulverize just… popped out of place. Just. Fell right off the tree. Unbroken, almost as if it hadn’t been punched viciously by a well dressed man with a finely groomed moustache who was now punching a SECOND part of the tree, the tree that was now floating, and alright maybe this was all just Luke. Maybe Luke was in a very fucked up dream. Or a coma. Or something. Because obviously reality had taken a scenic trip out the window.

    Mumbo the tree puncher was completely unfazed by his actions, collecting a third piece of beaten up wood before fiddling with the logs. Luke had no clue what he was doing, but every time he blinked the wood was in a different form. It went from log to planks, then planks to a whole ass workstation, and then Mumbo slapped some wood on the workstation and suddenly had a boat in his hands and alright then thread of logic that’s where you went to fine cool fine chill this is all so fine for Luke right now.

    “There we go.” Mumbo said, much too nonchalantly for Luke’s liking. He frowned when he finally took notice of Luke’s dumbfounded expression. “Something wrong? I apologize if you don’t care for oak boats, but it’s what’s close-”

    Using none of his manners, Luke grabbed Mumbo’s hands, ignoring the startled noise the man made as he tugged them (and subsequently Mumbo himself) closer to his face. They were completely unharmed from the tree punching, not so much as a bruise discolouration to be found.

    “How did you do that?” Luke asked, jerking his head up to make very close eye contact with Mumbo as he started to shake both of his hands. “Why are you not bleeding?!”

    Mumbo somehow looked even more confused than Luke felt, taking a moment to free his hands before commenting, “Your old server must have been really modded.”

    Luke noted that that was very much not an answer, but didn’t try to press it again. Mumbo clearly saw nothing wrong with tree punching. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with it here. What would Luke know? He wasn’t the one who had just made a boat out of a punched tree. Maybe things build better when the trees were in pain first.

    That then begged the question, do trees feel pain? But Luke had seen a moon affected by stink and made skeletons bleed, so who fucking knew really. If goo could feel pain a tree might as well be able to too.

    Mumbo got into his boat of magic and witchcraft, grabbing an oar with one completely uninjured hand and gesturing for Luke to join him with his other. Luke gave Mumbo props for still allowing Luke to be anywhere near him, especially in such a space as a small boat about to be in the middle of nothing but water.

    Soon as Luke was in, they were off, crossing the still and serene water faster than Luke expected. There didn’t seem to be many waves or disturbances to slow them down, helping Mumbo’s short strokes with the oars carry them across faster than they could’ve run.

    It wasn’t long before they reached the next shore, where a small house sat near the water. The place almost looked normal, which Luke appreciated. Mumbo then proceeded to inadvertently ruin the moment by somehow putting the boat in his pocket (punching was once again the answer, somehow managing to shrink the boat to the size of a doll’s toy. vaguely, Luke wondered if that would happen to him if he got punched enough), but Luke did his best to ignore that.

    The house proved to be empty, but Mumbo didn’t seem very surprised. “It’s his starter build, I doubt he comes here much anymore. Without elytras it was the faster trip. I’ll just let him know we’re here.”

    Given everything he had seen so far, Luke wouldn’t have been too surprised if Mumbo started yelling into his boot. Luckily enough for what little sanity he might have left, however, Mumbo just pulled a phone-shaped device from one of his pockets and tapped away at it.

    A few minutes later Luke heard a sizzling noise, followed by something hitting the ground with a bit of a thud. He and Mumbo looked over from where they had taken up station on the deck of the house, finding who Luke presumed was Xisuma.

    Should Luke have known to expect nothing of whoever was next to come, given he was already wandering around with a nose-less and perhaps mouth-less man? Yes. Did he? Sadly, no.

    Still, an axolotl man wasn’t really high on his list of ‘random things to expect.’ Maybe that was on him.

    Luke found some relief when the pink suited figure approached them, realizing that he seemed to be wearing some sort of suit that had simply been designed to mimic that of an axolotl's appearance. However, that then begged the question of what was beneath the suit. And the follow-up question, did everyone here wear suits of some sort? Would Luke need a suit? Maybe he could get a fake tux shirt.

    “Good afternoon, my friends.” Xisuma greeted as he came to stand in front of Luke and Mumbo. Luke had hoped he’d take off his helmet, but he didn’t, remaining the axolotl as he turned his focus on Luke. “Luke, I presume?”

    “That’s me.” Luke confirmed. “Sorry to uh. Crash into your day.”

    “If it hadn’t been you, it would have been someone else crashing my server.”

    “Hey!”     “I named no names.” Xisuma said in response to Mumbo’s offended interjection. “I’m just saying, it’s no bother. Hermitcraft’s always a bit wild. Now, you said this was a respawn error?”

    Luke was saved from having to pretend he actually knew what that meant by Mumbo answering for him. “He came from a hardcore world.”

    Xisuma nodded as if this perfectly explained everything, which Luke supposed it did if you understood any of the words that were being spoken. “Ah, always unfortunate when that happens. Did it have a connected survival world you were supposed to go to?”

    Man, Luke missed doing things through a game. Sure, it had been a fucked up game that subsequently fucked him up, but at least he could take breaks whenever he needed to think something through. If he just ‘took a break’ right here and now to think through a) what the fuck Xisuma meant and b) what the fuck he was supposed to respond with, he’d get, at the very least, a couple of very confused stares. Which would be rude, really, given how well Luke had occasionally been holding in his own confused stare. The least they could theoretically do was also not confused stare.

    “Luke?”

    Okay, he’s already used up too much thinking time to do little to no actual thinking. Answering by the sheer seat of his pants it was.

    “Sorry- uh, no, I don’t think, ah, I don’t think we had anywhere else we were supposed to go after.” Nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.

    Mumbo shook his head. “Some servers really have no understanding of community.”

    “Indeed.” Xisuma agreed, clicking something on the side of his helmet as he spoke. Nothing visible changed, but Luke could just make out an electronic blue tint now shining from within his visor. “Well, your code seems to have come in alright, so you should be good to stay here.”

    Code?! “Stay here?”

    “Assuming you don’t have somewhere else to go.” Xisuma responded, clicking off the blue tint and nodding slightly at Luke in a manner that presumably was meant to be reassuring. “I can take you to the server hub if you do, but only if that’s what you want.”

    Luke glanced between Xisuma and Mumbo. “You don’t even know me.”

    Mumbo shrugged. “Most of us didn’t know anyone when we first joined. It’s a very welcoming place, Hermitcraft.”

    “So, what’ll it be, Luke?” Xisuma asked.

    Luke gave himself a moment to properly think on this one. The server hub might be his escape back to his world, in one form or another. It also might be a red herring, and he might end up lost or stranded somewhere not nearly as nice as this place- Hermitcraft. He could stay here for a bit, get more information about everything, maybe learn how to effectively punch a tree, and then leave later, when he was actually prepared.

    Mind made up, Luke took another quick glance between the others. “If you truly wouldn’t mind my staying-”

    Mumbo’s moustache moved as Luke expected it to if it was hiding a wide grin beneath it, and Xisuma cut him off mid-sentence with, “Wonderful! I’ll inform the other hermits. Mumbo, would you mind helping Luke get set up?”

    “It’d be my pleasure.” Mumbo answered, sounding excited by the whole venture. “I’m sure Boatem will be glad to pitch in as well!”

    Xisuma laughed at that, looking over at Luke. “Boatem will introduce you to the possible chaos of the server very well.”

    Ominous. Maybe Luke should be regretting his choice.

    He and Mumbo chatted a bit more with Xisuma before the axolotl man- apparently the admin of the server- produced a pair of artificial wings and fireworks from a compartment in his suit, handing them off to Luke like the weirdest housewarming (server warming?) gift he had ever received.

    Luckily, as Xisuma left, Luke realized he was wearing a similar pair of wings (painted pink, of course). He hadn’t noticed them at first because of how motionlessly they had laid against the admin’s back, only springing into wing position when Xisuma jumped in place and casually lit a firework in his hand.

    The combined effect of bunny hop and self-arson attempt was flying, by some logic, and Luke realized that was what he was going to have to do in just a moment here, seeing as even as he was thinking this through Mumbo was shrugging on a pair of very mechanical looking wings.

    “Redstone mechanics can keep them in the air longer.” Mumbo explained when he caught Luke staring, mistaking Luke’s wide-eyed look for confusion and not mild fear. He chuckled a bit awkwardly.  “Also makes them a bit explosive… I wouldn’t recommend flying too close to me.”

    Death by falling, death by firework explosion, death by someone else’s wings’ explosion. Luke would never again pick flying as his theoretical superpower.

    Mumbo pulled his own stash of fireworks out of his pocket. “Ready to go?”

    Luke nodded and hastily slipped on his own pair of wings. He could do this. He could definitely do this. Just jump, ignite firework, try not to crash into any trees. Easy peasy.

    Except he must have done something wrong with his jump, because his wings didn't activate, leading to him falling flat on his face, the firework still in hand now wedged between his chest and the ground.

    And then it went off.

    For a moment there was nothing but a lot of smoke and a lot of pain across his chest, Luke managing to force his eyes open when he felt someone pushing him onto his back. Unsurprisingly, he found it was Mumbo, looking horribly panicked. Probably because Luke had just managed to blow himself up without any explosion wings. In his defense, fireworks were still very much an explosive all on their own.

    “Are you okay? Is something wrong with your elytra?” Mumbo questioned as he started rummaging through his pocket with one hand, his other moving faster than Luke could track across him- press on his chest to check the injury, brush over the edge of his wings to check for malfunction, inspection of his firework-holding hand, quick tug on his shirt collar to straighten it as if that mattered, etc. Luke blamed how oddly warm he suddenly felt on firework fire.

    “I'm-” Luke coughed, "fine. Just uh. Bad at flying."

    “It's not for everyone.” Mumbo acknowledged as he found what he was looking for. "Here, this should take care of the burns.”

    Luke decided to not question the fact that what he was being offered for his burns was a golden carrot. Maybe it was magic. Or maybe Mumbo thought he'd look funny in a stupid way trying to use a golden carrot to heal his burns.

    Apparently the latter was true, because Mumbo started laughing as soon as Luke started awkwardly rubbing the carrot over the part on him that had been exploded. “Oh you really did come from a modded server. You eat it.”

    "...It's covered in gold.”

    “Impulse already has his gold farm set up, I can get more.”

    Luke felt he should point out the real issue with the golden carrot was not so much its cost but rather its hard, not-good-for-teeth metal-ness, but he supposed such things weren’t a concern to those who perhaps lacked a mouth. He took a small bite off the very tip of the gilded vegetable, planning on just faking a dislike for the taste and keeping the gold chunk to replace whichever tooth it’d take out.

    Except… the gold wasn’t hard. Somehow. It was clearly gold, and it had that metallic taste to make sure you didn’t forget it, but the most resistance it offered Luke matched that of the carrot it covered. Metallic carrot was hardly a flavour combo to write home about, but it did manage to make Luke feel significantly better.

    He pushed himself up into a sitting position in the same motion he pushed the rest of his fireworks (how any of them had survived the explosion was beyond him) away from him, doing a quick inventory of how much of his chest was left. It was a pleasant surprise when Luke found both his chest and shirt showed no signs of having been so much as singed. Did it make sense? Well of course not, but this time Luke was willing to let it slide without complaint.

    “I take it you don’t want to try that again.” Mumbo noted as he collected Luke’s rejected fireworks.

    “As awesome as that experience was, no, I don’t think I need a second round.”

    Mumbo hummed in agreement, looking pretty thoughtful for a man whose expression existed of only dot eyes and a moustache. After a moment, the thoughtful look changed into one of inspiration. “Would you say your issue with flying is the flying itself, or just the fireworks?”

    “Considering I never even made it off the ground, I think both.” Luke pointed out, getting a chortle from Mumbo before he went on, “But the fireworks were definitely the worst half of it.”

    “So… if you could fly without having to use the fireworks, would that be alright?”

    Luke raised an eyebrow. “I can do that?”

    Mumbo moved his hand in the universal ‘sort of’ gesture. “Not technically, you still need the fireworks, but you don’t have to be the one to deploy them! If you’re holding onto me when I go up, you’ll come up with me, and as long as you don’t smash into any trees we’ll be grand!”

    “And if I do smash into some trees?”

    “...I have a lot of fireworks and golden carrots?” Mumbo offered, and despite the circumstances, Luke laughed. 

    “That’s good enough for me.” Luke got to his feet. “Let’s do this.”

    Mumbo stood up with him, fireworks already slipped into one of his hands. His other shot out and grabbed one of Luke’s as soon as he was done checking his wings, fingers interlocking with Luke’s and giving a small squeeze. His moustache smiled when Luke looked over at him. “Ready?”

    Again, that weird warm feeling. Maybe Luke had inhaled some gunpowder. That’s how gunpowder worked, right?

    For reasons somewhat beyond Luke’s comprehension, he squeezed Mumbo’s hand back before replying, “As ever.”

    Moustache smile remained for a moment before Mumbo turned his gaze forward, taking in the various possible hazards before he started counting down, “Three… two… one… away!”

    And this time, when the firework went off, Luke actually went airborne. He would be lying if he didn’t admit it was mildly terrifying. Or that he mildly screamed.

    It wasn’t as if Luke had never flown before, alright? But those times had been in planes, completely and safely enclosed planes, planes with powerful jets and floors he could rest his weight on. Here the only thing keeping him up were the wings attached to his back, that he didn’t control, all while he did his best to not flail about in the wind.

    Sensing (or maybe just seeing, given, y’know, the flailing) Luke’s discomfort (panic), Mumbo squeezed his hand again and did his best to tug him closer as they flew. His wings whirred and clicked as he guided them through the skies with practiced precision, able to time his firework usage to the moment before either he or Luke would hit a tree or mountain or building.

    As the initial shock and fear began to fade, Luke found himself enjoying the flight. The world rushing by them, so far away and yet so close all at once, was a wonder of colours, wildlife, and exquisite architecture. It was an incredible place, Luke could see, a good place to settle down in. Be it for a little time or longer.

    Finally, as Mumbo approached a mountainous area populated with minor and major builds alike all circling some sort of odd totem pole, the flight came to an end. Mumbo slowed them as they approached the ground, letting go of Luke's hand as he carefully straightened himself just in time to land solidly on his feet. He likely assumed Luke would do the same.

    Obviously, Luke fell over instead.

    He was saved from a complete repeat of earlier by Mumbo catching him at the last moment, posed almost as if Mumbo had dipped him in a dance instead. Mumbo flushed in embarrassment, quickly pulling Luke up to his feet. Unfortunately, because Luke really had not stuck any part of his landing, he immediately tripped over his feet and ended up supporting himself against Mumbo’s chest.

    “Oh, fuck, I’m-” Mumbo’s eyes widened at the swear, and Luke said another three in his head, “I mean- frick- uh- sorry, I’m sorry, two left feet or something, let me just-”

    Luke finally regained his footing, taking a few fast steps away from Mumbo as he did so, throwing in another apology as he did so. 

    “It’s, um, quite alright.” Mumbo managed. He seemed… frazzled, to put it lightly, taking a moment to comb out both his hair and moustache. Luke used the time to shrug off his wings, awkwardly shoving them under his arm once he had.

    Eventually, once he was satisfied with the quality of his hair, Mumbo did the same, fiddling with the back of his mechanical wings before slipping them magically into his pocket as he had done with the boat. He shot Luke an odd look. “Are you going to put your elytra away?”

    Luke was tempted to say no, he wanted it out, he actually liked hauling it around like this thank you very much, but he figured at best it’d be taken as a joke. Instead, he nodded slowly, trying not to look as hesitant or as stupid as he felt as he slowly attempted to lower the ‘elytra’ towards his pocket area.

    For all luck hadn’t been with him today, his efforts worked- the elytra shrunk right before it reached his pocket, slipping right in with no issue. Luke let out a small breath. He had successfully used shrinking technology via magic. He was so cool.

    “Right then.” Mumbo said, sounding as though he didn’t think Luke was so cool and was instead wondering why it had taken Luke so long to do such a simple task and look so relieved about it. “That aside, welcome to Boatem! Allow me to show you our namesake.”

    Luke followed Mumbo over to the odd totem pole he had seen when they were landing. Upon closer inspection, he found it was composed mainly of boats stacked precariously on top of each other. He also learned it was set right over what appeared to be a hole straight to the center of nothingness.

    “Here stands the Boatem pole, the humble beginnings of our corporation.” Mumbo explained, gesturing at the pole before gesturing at the pit of doom and despair. “This is the Boatem hole, to which we offer sacrifices and occasionally meet up in.”

    “Where does it… go?” Luke asked hesitantly, not entirely sure he wanted the answer, but also not wanting to ask why it had needed sacrifices.

    “Into the void and out of the world.” Mumbo answered much, much too casually. “Try not to fall in.”

    Luke took several very big steps away from the Boatem hole. “Like a portal? Or does the… the Void just live in the middle of the world?”

    Mumbo raised an eyebrow. “Middle of the-? It goes to the other side of the world, in a sense. I’m not quite sure that’s a middle.”

    For a moment, Luke let the words settle in. Took some time to really absorb them. Truly understand them. Then, “This is a flat earth?!”

    “...Yes?”

    Being in a world where the flat earthers were right was, objectively, not the worst part of Luke’s day so far. But it certainly didn’t feel good.

    “Maybe we should save the touring of Boatem for another day?” Mumbo said haltingly, pausing for a second before placing his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “You look like you’re going to fall over.”

    Dramatic as it might sound, Luke knew Mumbo was probably right. The flat earth thing was just the tipping point on a very long day he had only been partially registering. After all, he had just died. And been teleported, falling from the sky, into a completely new world. And watched a man with no mouth repeatedly punch a tree. These things take a toll on you.

    “I- yeah, yeah, maybe I’m a bit tired.” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

    Even lacking a nose and mouth, Mumbo’s expression was kindly sympathetic. “Dying and switching servers is a lot for one day. Why don’t we have some tea, I’ll tell you about everyone, and we save tomorrow for the rest of it?”

    “...Anything stronger than tea?”

    “Not my cuppa.” Mumbo responded, shooting a conspiratorial glance around before adding in a quieter tone, “It is, however, many others’ cuppas.”

    Luke snorted. Yeah. Yeah, this could be okay.

[yanderefoeyay]

A Brothers Care

For @katzanone ! Merry Christmas!! 🥳🥳🥳 Hope I gave you that Unsui goodness!

Unsui knew something was wrong, ever since yesterday his body had begun to betray him, his throat was sore, his muscles felt weak and he had a headache, he didn’t know what had caused this, infection? Stress? Well the fact that he generally didn’t take care of himself too well outside of training might be a factor, one he didn’t enjoy the thought of, sure he went out for runs in winter in just a hoodie and the fact he was pulling all nighters for a test but plenty of people do that and are fine so what is he? Just unlucky as usual…

He woke up the next morning, not any better, hell maybe even worse, his head was swimming when he stood up but he didn’t let it deter him, he staggered out his room and walked towards the kitchen, he could hear Agon was awake in his own room, up early for once weirdly, he pushed all his focus on each next step his breath more laboured than it should have been, he managed to take one step into the kitchen when the black spots in his vision started to take over completely, he fell limb and heavy to the wooden floor, a loud thud echoed in the quiet home, Agon emerged from his room annoyed by the noise bothering his hangover “What the hell are you doing Unko Chan?!” He walked down the hallway and saw his brother collapsed and rushed over frantically “UNSUI!” He shook him, no response, he was panicking now, he moved Unsui from his back to onto his side, into the recovery position and immediately went to grab the phone and call for help.

A few hours had passed and Unsui finally awoke, weakly opening his eyes he saw he was in his own room in bed, Agon sat on the edge staring at him.

“Agon?..” “Don’t try to speak idiot you need all the energy you can get” Unsui went back to silence, his dry sore throat thanking him for it “you almost gave me a heart attack yknow baldy? You were just lying there like a corpse, I swear I could feel time slow down waiting for the ambulance, then the doctor finally gets here and she tells me you’ve got a fever and fatigue, making me panic over something that simple, I swear the minute you’re better I’m kicking your ass and sending you to the hospital for something actually serious” Unsui let’s a small smile rest on his face ‘So you panicked over me huh?’ Feeling warmth seep into his heart at the fact his brother does genuinely care even if he has a weird way of showing it.

“You’re not going to school or training for awhile” Unsui immediately tried to get up and object but Agon pushed him back down and sneered at him disapprovingly “Don’t you dare Unko chan you’re not going anywhere and I’m going to make sure of it” Unsuis brows furrowed unhappily but knew he wasn’t going to win in any case so he fully relaxed and got comfortable even if he still had some internal guilt at the thought of not being productive, and as if Agon could read his mind he said “Thinking like that is what got you here in the first place so consider this whole experience a lesson dumbass”.

Agon really meant it when he said he was going to make sure Unsui stay put and his method of doing so was becoming Unsui’s nurse.

A thought that worried Unsui cause although Agon was incredibly intelligent he also left Unsui to do all the household chores, so now Unsui was stressed that the house was getting messy and the fact Agon was cooking God knows what for him.

Agon came busting through the door, tray in hand, a smirk on his face “Your 5 Star care service is here, be thankful sicko” Unsui was already wondering if Agon looking after him was actually helping or adding to the fatigue as Agon plopped down the tray onto his lap, he didn’t know what to expect but he was pleasantly surprised to see a cheese omelette with toast and fruit on the side with juice, it looked great, he looked to Agon for a moment who had a smug look on his face, telling him to eat up and immediately tucked in, it was delicious, he felt so refreshed after, he finished and was about to thank Agon but instead he felt a hand pet his head softly, an action Agons always been fond of since they were kids, a way to easily show affection without awkward words, and only said “Get some sleep” before picking up the tray and leaving the room, a satisfied smile on his face.

Unsui leaned back in his pillow feeling content and loved, and drifted off happily.

It continued like this for a few more days, Agon being equal parts snarky and warm towards him. He was glad he got to see this side of him others didn’t, know that even after all these years, and all they’d been through they still cared about and loved each other and in these past few days Unsui truly saw that version of Agon he was before all the ego got to him.

Agon saw the same in Unsui, his stoic brother who rarely showed weakness and always pushed himself to hard was now smiling happily at him when he walked through the door to take his temperature to see if his fever had subsided, he hadn’t seen that smile in awhile and especially not aimed at him, he smiled back but acted nonchalant about it, can’t have Unko chan thinking he’s going soft.

He took his temperature, it was Normal and all signs of fatigue were gone, he had made a full recovery, all thanks to his brothers care.

[robinrequiems]

OOPSIE PRETEND RELATIONSHIP tROPE :0 XD

YES. ok so the first few hcs is kinda like a mini story so enjoy that cause accidents happened there

• how Damian was in front of jon kent, kissing him was. beyond him. They weren’t in love or anything or even in like. They were just there.

• in truth, it was just convenient at the time for them to kiss, girls were chasing after jon, along with girls chasing damian, but the two locked eyes and nodded

• and that somehow ended up with the idea of them kissing for the both of them. jons hands on his waist with damians around his neck.

• they could have just went and ran off together, they both could have escaped easily, but insyead, they decided to kiss in front of the whole school. on Valentine’s Day.

• phones were taking out, high school students video taping to show the world of the damian wayne kissing a local boy. making people think they were dating. which was a complete accident, but they had headaches, damian was tired and super sleepy, and Jon’s heart was beating out of his chest, he hated letting people don’t, he hated watching their smiles fall or sadness cloud their vision… anxiety pumping in their veins as they just fell in each other and kissed. lips awkwardly moving before a comfortable pace was set.

• but it was still weird. very weird, by the end of the day, news outlets were buzzing about the youngest wayne, one of the most unsociable people the news has ever seen, kissing a random stranger.

• it was odd..

• damian and jon left school togeyher, they needed to talk. why are they weirdos who thought the first idea was to kiss in order to escape girls who wanted to confess their stupid love??!

“Why did you kiss me!”

“You kissed me back AND LEANED IN.”

“Shut up, J!”

• they didn’t mean to let the rumors keep going.. their families were confused. Damian’s father was so happy for him, clark and Lois were supportive of their son, they loved damian

• and both of them did not want to disappoint their parents. so big f in the chat

• so here damian was, sneaking into his best friends room. also a best friend he just kissed

• he wanted to crawl into a hole and die

• ( all my damians r dramatic, you all have to sit here and take it ok? )

“Sup, shirhead.”

“Hey, loser.”

“Let’s quit the small talk and get to the chase.”

“.. Dames, that was us just saying hello.”

“And now we’re small talking. Great.”

“Oh my god- Geez. So we kissed and everyone thinks we’re dating.”

“Yes.”

“What do we do?”

“I have no idea, my fathers happy, the happiest he has been in a while.”

“My parents are happy too.”

“.. I know this is a lot to ask for, you probably don’t want to even..”

“Yes.”

“Huh?”

“D, I said yeah-“

“But why?”

“Because-??? Because I did. I can’t explain it, but it just.. Feels right, okay? I’m tired of saying no to people, it makes me anxious and sad since it takes a lot of confidence to confess to someone, so yes.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

“Uh. Okay. Bye.”

“Aww, don’t wanna stay the night, babe?”

“Don’t push it.”

• so they played the world basically and lied to their parents and brothers. Yikes.

D: Ew, why are you touching me?

J: *has his arm around D* it’s romantic and we’re dating.

D: ugh.

J: don’t ugh me, you love it.

• damian took jon to galas

J: wait we should dance!

D: hell no

J: we gotta show off our moves

D: you have no moves

J: oh my goooooosh, don’t be a loser!

D: *gets dragged off by Jon to dance.*

J: *dances like a psychopath*

D: *smiles*

• that’s the first time damian had every smiled at a gala. the press ate it up.

• jon shared a smile of his own when he bent down to kiss damian. Damian would never tell Jon that when they kissed in the hallway was his first kiss, it would make this feel ever weirder

• or maybe realer than it actually is

• as time went on, 1 month to be exact, it felt so real. Damian began kissing jons cheek, wearing jons clothes, walking hand and hand with Jon to class. Jon began putting clothes on damian, sleeping over with damian, walking him to class, and hugging him from behind

• why was this happening? It’s all fake, they only had to do it in public, so why were they doing it in private? Why were they holding hands in private? Why were they cuddling in private? Why were they kissing in private?

• what was happening? why are they mixing fiction into reality

• and why did they both seemingly not realize

• as damian sank into bed, rolling onto jons chest and falling asleep, jon realized how happy he felt when holding damian close, how he watched damian peacefully sleep. when they slept as kids, he heard damian tossing and turning all night or watching him sleep like a corpse. he liked this.

• their stupid friend group, they told them that it was all fake.

• it was easier, ok?

• but then the little friend group had a small hangout or mini party as tai’s. they watched as jon just moved damians legs off the couch and then put them back onto his lap before grabbing a controller, or how when they watched a moving, jons head was on damians lap, the friends just shared glances, maya wanted to say something, but she chose to not, and instead kept silent

• maya was worried for Damian and Kathy & Tai for jon. but the whole group was worried for the both of them as a whole

• because it seemed like it was getting realer and realer. none of them wanted their relationship to get fractured when they decided to end this fake relationship, it was weird, they most likely didn’t need to keep this fake relationship up anymore. It’s been a month and a half, but they said they wanted to keep people away.. but still?

• do they want to do this forever until 1 of them has a crush on someone? they knew their other reasons, but..

• their friends just watched as at lunch, damian just planted himself on jons lap as jon fed him like a baby ( maya knew damian hated being treated like a baby.. ) before he pecked jons cheek and went off to debate club

Tai: Hey Jon?

Jon: yeah?

Tai: what’s up with you two?

Jon: what do you mean?

Tai: you two seem.. closer

Jon: of course we are..

Tai: no. Like closer. In private.

Jon: I don’t know what you mean

Maya: you guys act like a couple in private.

Kathy: are you guys.. yknow, actually dating?

Jon: no?

Jon: wait. are we?

• jon and damian had to talk.

• damian doesn’t know when he began having fuzzy feelings for damian or when jon had those feelings for dames, they never brought it up. they just started doing cute things in private and dates in private, movie nights in private

• after school, jon met up with damian at the gate. Like they always did since they started dating

J: Are we dating?

D: what-?

J: we act like a couple. When we don’t have to

D: uh. I don’t think so?

D: wait are we?

J: are we???

D: uh.

D: sure.

J: alright cool.

D: cool.

J: wanna go get food?

D: yeah

• with that said, damian and jon walked together hand and hand, officially boyfriends.

• but they most likely had been official boyfriends for a wild.

• but it’s extra official now: