#projection strikes again /pos

[the-s1lly-corner]

I don't know if anyone has asked for this yet, but can we have a Nutcracker (preferably male) reader and/or ballerina (Preferably female) reader being besties and just doing little performances for everyone in the circus. This can either be romantic or platonic Reader(s) x TADC, I don't mind! Go crazy with it! Go wild! I love to read ur headcanons and stuff so much man/pos

Gangle, Kinger, Jax, Caine x reader who hosts shows!

two things! i couldnt decide on the gender of the reader so you can read it as both or either </3 other thing, i still dont take reqs for the entire cast (nothing against you this is a blog wide rule/character limit) so i went ahead and ran the request through a wheel to randomly select characters with that said, i hope you enjoy!

CAINE:

i think, given that hes the circus ringmaster of the circus as well as generally being in control of things thanks to his status of an ai, he tends to host your shows... might even make the other circus members watch. whether you want to read this as platonic or romantic, he just does it because he wants to support you and allow your talent to be seen...! though he might get rather.... loud about it. ive said it so many times but im ready to say it again, he would be your number one fan and hes going to be very clear about it. probably throws roses to the stage for you when youre done with your performance... cheers and claps the loudest... hell, if youre comfortable with it, he might just wear a shirt with your name and face on it..! truly your number 1 fan

JAX:

i think if this is platonic, depending on how close you guys are he might try to disrupt the show by being a jackass. generally being annoying and trying to get a reaction out of you... though i dont think he would do this if you guys are actually. close or good friends and/or dating... now practice? thats something else... definitely a case of him being able to see that you enjoy what you do and you have passion and dedicate himself so he might just try to contain himself and his need to be an asshole and cause havoc.. i think if asked what he thought he would seem a little neutral about it, hes not going to praise you excessively or be mean.. jax doesnt seem like the type to gush over someone or something no matter how much he liked it.. best youd get out of him is a "good job,".. definitely one that hinges off of how close you guys are and how much respect and boundaries are set up between you two

KINGER:

i think he might be a toned down caine, looks like he would give you a rose after your performance.. though if youre not a flower person i think he would swap the rose out for something else. while caine might be barely containing his excitement throughout your performance, kinger is much more likely to be able to sit still and quiet... although still very much consumed by you, perhaps even sitting on the edge of his seat in an attempt to get a better look at you. i think he would notice a lot of smaller details and stuff you put in your shows, such as costumes or decoration, too... maybe its self projection, but i think he bounces between being clueless to having a really really keen eye when it comes to things... also the fact i love the hc of "clueless/chaotic/commonly zoned out character noticing something vital or making a smart point for a moment before reverting back to status quo" is one of my favorite tropes.... loves watching you practice

GANGLE:

i think she might actually help you with costumes and stage decorations! sure her thing is mostly art and you might have to recruit the help of ragatha for some things but i think gangle would be more than willing to help you out... plus it gives her something to do, and it means spending time with you! and thats always nice! very receptive to the stuff you have to say but i think she might try to offer some alternatives to make things visually look more appealing... as for actual performances i think she would love them! she strikes me as a theatre kid, and your sort of thing is adjacent i think... might gush to you about the show and how you did, though its often that she might trail off and become sheepish if she feels she was getting too into her ramble.. generally very sweet, though, but due to her shyness shes not going to do more than the rest of the crowd (throwing flowers, clapping louder than everyone else, ect ect ect)

[ii-meeple-confessions]

ON THE TOPIC of the twist, I ALSO love loveee the idea of Mephone subconsciously passing down memories to his creations. I mean, it already kind of did happen with the gememories, but I like to think about it a lot in reference to other characters and moments too.

And this IS admittedly kind of canon. I mean, think about how Suitcase has hallucinated Mecintosh despite never seeing him before! That was probably Mephone unconsciously projecting his memory of Mecintosh onto her. Even if she didn't actually remember ever SEEING Mecintosh, Mephone did. So therefore she can hallucinate him. I wonder if she's ever hallucinated anything else related to meeple, actually? AND On the topic of Mephone's memories appearing through his generative abilities-- The closet at hotel OJ becomes evermore suspicious to me because. ha. hm. why was it. the exact same layout as the closet 3GS was in. HMMM.... Mephone's unconscious projection strikes again.

The key 3 have spoken about the wider Melife system or whatever and how all of the contestants are connected to Mephones software and thus can be transferred memories through it too. Like uhh, all of them treat Box as real and living BECAUSE they're connected to Melife and thats how Mephone is trying to cope with Box's death.

But I think that theres so much more you could DO with this idea of Mephone astral beaming his memories to contestants. I mean, even if we just speculate on what Mephone went through at Meeple, you can do a lot with different contestants having different reactions to things-- Not because they're relating an event to their OWN memories, but because Mephone went through something and he passed down that reaction to them. If im making sense here? I'm super tired. But yeah! Woosh. I love Melife. -2G Anon

GRAAAAGGH 2G ANON I:M GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOUKDERS AND SHAKING YOU AROUND. I LOVEEE LOVE LVOE UOUR THOUGHTS

“All of them treat box as alive because they)re connected to melife and that’s mephone’s way of coping with box’s death” heeey. What if I killed you /POS /POS /POS /POS /POS

AND THE HOTEL OJ CLOSET LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE MEEPLE CLOSET. GUURUGHHHDNSHAJAKLDCLDDKFDJFRJGJGJTRGKGRKBGRBK AAAAAAAAAAGAGHHHTHRUGHGJ

sorry sorry. I reallt shoukd not be responding to confessions at 3am I am going FERAL I am BOUNCING off the walls I LOVE you 2g anon /p

[lyknest]

nobody asked but I'm finally watching the gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers and hence some incoherent thoughts

ossan's love thailand: KAPOOK 😍. I haven't seen the original ossan's love but this seems like an HR Violation. how come two people like this lousy person???????? what is this show LMAO it seems so unhinged (not in a good way yet?) but i have my trust in Au!!!!!!!

leap day: WHAT THE FUCK OMG. GUN HELLO

the heart killers: joong khao brothers HM. now this show is hidden agenda pls. there is going to be so much angst here im still so hurt from only friends but another jojo project, interesting 👀

friendshit forever: someone needs to be fired for these names. MOOK LOOKS SO PRETTY. ngl i thought this was a GL until new showed up but boy did the trailer take a dark turn. listen im all for this betrayal angst but isn't it a little cliche to have girls fight/backstab because they're jealous of each other? maybe i misunderstood the trailer hm.

perfect 10liners: how are forcebook back in uni again???? but enemies(?) to lovers???? perthchimon roommates HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH. oh i loved MarkJunior in cherry magic!!!? how much is jittirain making i just want to know. seems very cliche but i eat it up every time. also new siwaj!!!!!!!

us: GL GL GL GL BRAIN GOES BRRRRRRR. pining delicious 🤌 angst delicious 🤌 cinematography reminds me of an indie production somehow. 2 FON KANITTHA GLs YEAH GIVE THIS SHOW TO ME RIGHT NOW!

hide & sis: PIPLOY & JAN & GAWIN. FUCK YES. this is giving the player vibes and i dig that. gotta love fucked up rich people. who is directing this though?

thame - po: is this the lykn dance group? PLEASE NOT THE Y/N FANFIC. cute

breakup service: GODJIIIIIIIIIII. it's giving midnight motel vibes. but hmmmmmmmmm

revamp: im not really a wabi-sabi or vampire girly but im always here of villian kay!!!!! & santa my beloved 🫶 the vibes are immaculate.

sweet tooth, good dentist: who is deciding these names????? but also MARK & OHM YAY. the fanfiction of it all smh. jittirain strikes again. not mark singing the last twilight ost pls. this doc is So invested in this patient im sure he follows his lives. FLIRTY MARK MY BELOVED!! ALSO VIEW & JIMMY HELP. if this isn't sappy as fuck what's the point. also the Pepzi, the AD for bad buddy is directing this, nice 👀

the dark dice: love the annual supernatural weird-high school gmmtv shenanigans. 'loser like me' and its Gemini, be for real pls. PRIMMMMMMMMM. I don't really understand what's happening with the plot smh but it's a LOT

the ex-morning: exs to lovers and a hell lot of pining and angst? yes. i didn't get firstmix but I'm happy with this. also the meta commentary also GODJIIIIIIIIIII.

scarlet heart: THE CAST ?????? TU, TAY, NANON, PERTH, FOURTH???????? I'm here for it. i haven't seen the Chinese or the Korean version but the teaser sure is interesting AND FON KANITTHA

14 shows DAMN GMMTV

[ailtrahq]

Cardano has witnessed significant development activity in September, with developers consistently fueling the network’s advancement. According to the latest chart posted by CryptoDep using Santiment’s data, Cardano topped the chart for developer activity over the past 30 days with an impressive score of 572, even during the crypto market slowdown. As such, the network continues to eclipse several prominent projects such as Polkadot, Hedera, Chainlink, and Cosmos. Cardano Strikes Again With High Developer Activity Cardano has faced a setback in the second half of 2023. Be it regulatory concerns or fierce competition from layer-2 networks such as Base, Arbitrum, and Optimism, the third-generation decentralized proof-of-stake (PoS) blockchain platform has been quiet amidst a market-wide downturn. While these L2 networks surged to new highs in daily throughput and user adoption, Cardano appeared to have briefly hit a plateau. However, the network made a comeback with a significant uptick in developer activity. With a 572 score throughout the month, Cardano has continued to dominate in terms of development activity in its public GitHub repositories. Cardano’s native token, on the other hand, traded mostly below $0.25 for the entirety of September. Hence, such a trend in developer activity demonstrates that the team has not given up even in the face of underwhelming price performance. Besides, trailing closely behind Cardano are projects like Polkadot and Chainlink, with 501 and 388 scored, respectively. These projects are followed by Hedera, Cosmos, Aptos, and Avalanche, with 358, 338, 248, and 242, respectively. ⚡️Top #Crypto Projects by Developer Activity in September 2 October 2023 #Cardano – 572#Polkadot – 501 #Chainlink – 388#Hedera – 358#Cosmos – 338#Aptos – 248#Avalanche – 242#IOTA – 219#Radix – 167#MultiversX – 162 Data source: @Santimentfeed$ADA $DOT $LINK $HBAR… pic.twitter.com/gAEaED1NGG — 🇺🇦 CryptoDep #StandWithUkraine 🇺🇦 (@Crypto_Dep) October 2, 2023 Cardano DeFi Performance The total value locked in Cardano has also picked up pace as it exceeded 615 million ADA after weeks of stagnation, owing to thriving decentralized finance (DeFi) projects running on top of it. As reported earlier, Minswap, which happens to be the largest decentralized exchange on Cardano, saw a notable spike across various metrics after months of low activity. Over the past 30 days, the platform’s UAW was up by more than 7% to 19.92k, while its volume witnessed a boost of over 943% during the same period and currently stood at $3.53 billion, according to data from DappRadar. Meanwhile, its transaction count was recorded to be at 451.19k after a 15% over the timeframe.

[lurkingismypastime]

My Mike Afton Headcanons :)

Aromantic asexual, interested in a qpr

Autistic (I’m probably going to make a separate post just for this)

Genderfluid, he/they/she/xe

Deaf or close to it. I’ve yet to figure out if it should be just the natural progression of his hearing or something that happened

His mom was Mexican

Warm brown skin tone (yknow, like how colors can warm or cool)

They have their mom’s wild dark brown hair, and it shows once he takes care of it (and isn’t that a thematic statement and a half)

Curly dark brown hair, grows it to just above shoulder length

Having it pulled back all the time gives them a headache, but they won’t leave it loose if they feel they’re in danger

Complete heterochromia, their right eye is blue and their left is brown

(This was mostly because I couldn’t decide between giving them brown eyes or blue, and now I’m attached)

5′5″ (let Mike be short, it’s what they deserve)

Other Headcanons

Since they have trouble hearing and work in a place where they have to rely on hearing to warn them of danger, they have issues going without aids

Gruffly gentle with people younger than them, but prone to hostility with people older

Will fight as soon as he thinks he’s being threatened

On bad days he panics at everything he thinks could be perceived as a mistake

Loves to people watch (unless they’re having a bad day where they compare themself to their dad) enjoys watching life just bustling around them, it makes them feel more human

Hates being treated like she’s stupid or worthless 

AUTHORITY ISSUES BABY

In an ideal world, xe would be a paramedic or artist :)

Touch starved and touch repulsed

Loves rain, it’s xeir favorite smell too

The ocean is also something she loves

Sunset colors are her favorite

Loves painting especially mural-like pieces

Has trouble making friends and connecting with people, but sometimes finds people that just click

Has been a disappointment all his life, and when he grew up he learned to wear it like a badge of pride. There’s still a wound beneath that though, and it likes to show up on bad days and around parental figures.

Chronic pain, body issues

Once he learns to stand up for himself, he also figures out how to stand up for others

Dry sense of humor

Their wrist getting grabbed is a trigger. If it happens unexpectedly they will fight them off, or panic if that doesn’t work.

Introverted

Gardening is something they enjoy a lot. They have a lot of plants (some of which are wild/weeds) knows a lot about their properties

Self-esteem issues (but we knew that)

Spoke Spanish with their mom until (something happened, I’m still figuring out what) 

Later picked it up again, or spoke and learned it all through childhood to stay connected to her (dad told him he couldn’t take Spanish because he would ‘cheat’)

His mom used to make heated milk with brown sugar and nutmeg for him. He makes it for his siblings on bad nights, and later for himself when he needs comfort

C-ptsd in general but also about ennard specifically (which makes eating even more of a challenge, and gives him autonomy issues)

They were conscious while Ennard was in them (I’m so sorry) 

She’s got her mom’s eyes and smile. She nearly cries the first time someone points out the resemblance because she’s been compared to her father her whole life

Has xeir mom’s freckles and temperament, but xeir dad’s face and mannerisms (unfortunately)

TOUCH STARVED AS HELL

Fuck William’s accent, Michael has his mom’s accent

Nearly debilitating fear of losing autonomy

Can face the worst life has to offer without batting an eye, but crumbles like a wet paper bag in the face of any positive interaction

Loves space and thinking about it and talking about it

Was an annoying and kind of rough older sibling, but also took on the responsibility of his siblings. William was especially bad the week of cc’s birthday, and that translated into being rougher and more calloused with his siblings. If the joke had gone as intended, he probably would have made it up to him in his own rough way once he realized how much it affected cc.

Don’t tell me you haven’t done something in the heat of the moment that you regret later. I know I have

Being gentle comes easily to him after he gets away from his father and learns to leave the ‘be tough or get hurt’ mindset

This makes him even more like his mother, with his temper turning into spitfire protectiveness combined with a gentle empathy, especially for kids

His mother begins to shine through more and more. Where he once had his father’s expressions and habits, he now exhibits his mom’s

Sorting through my Mike refs, I’m realizing how many of my headcanons were just putting a neon sign above his head blaring ‘AUTISTIC. THIS PERSON IS AUTISTIC’

[thepocket221]

FAUST HEADCANONS BC I MISS THEM WHERE IS MY BABY MR VOICE BRING THEM B A C K

yes i have the faust liker disease

they are everything to me🫶🫶

they/them faust TRUTHERS WE STRIKE AT DAWN

not non-binary nor gnc, just kinda,, genderless??

doesn’t feel connected to anything gender related(it might be due to a lack of self identity)

average “clothes don’t have gender” truther

cannot cook nor bake for shit

idc what you saw this bitch cannot follow a recipe to save their life

fav place to eat out at is very unknown noodle bars

an average pho enjoyer (soup and noodles are their safe foods)

blocked the term “blue hair and pronouns” and it’s many variations from regular chat.

“super chat is just funnier” <- faust when they are lying

definitely has beef with charlie

my only evidence for this is that in the end of bittersweet chapter 3, charlie and auron clearly have a better relationship compared to that of auron and faust

definitely feels like their easily replaceable

“wow all that time i spent trying to get to know you and spend time with you just for your to like this blond bitch huh. okay. wow, love you too, brother.”

often in a very dissociative state

doesn’t feel like themself

(gives them horrendous short term memory loss bc it’s what i have)

arm is littered with reminders

also has facial blindness

remembers people based off of certain attributes(voice, hair color, style choices, etc.)

chronic migraine disorder haver

their head hurts so much, but they are being very brave about it

“most of my hcs for faust aren’t based off of angst that lives in my head” <- glenn when they lie

became a streamer bc their body hurts a lot all of the time (wow projecting again, huh glenn /s /lhj)

little walks around town bc they still gotta get that vitamin D💪

also gonna slip in that they have trouble taking pills (WOW, PROJECTING AGAIN, HUH GLENN /lhj)

also doesn’t have a lot of friends but this is more self-inflicted. they just don’t like talking to people

“no point of getting to know someone if i’m just gonna forget them”

“autistic” <- glenn when they tell the truth

SpeIn is tarot, mythology, and constellations

“i can’t tell you a thing about myself but i can tell you every little detail about the stars and they have such deep lore behind them”

we don’t see enough abt the witchy aspects of them and finn I NEED MORE (i am a practicing witch)

only added bells to the cat ears, tail, and collar because they like the sound

makes them go (:

despises almost every fabric so they have to get all of their clothes custom made

vocal stims:

phrases from games they’ve played

a meme/tiktok they have saved to their phone (“lemme get my cat on the mic.. MOOOWWW”, “get the fuck off my porch”, shit like that)

humming and/or singing

tactile stims:

swaying either while sitting or standing

finger taps

walks on the ball of their feet

also a camboy

collabs between them and alphonse are legendary

at least friendly acquaintances

they charlie despisers together

this isn’t charlie slander i promise, i love him dearly (i have a playlist abt him so obviously i’m telling the truth /lhj /s /pos)

canonical thick thighs

canonically saving lives!!

doodles on their thighs

makes little tattoo ideas for themself (never goes through with it bc their pain tolerance is very low and the ink pen looks like it would hurt a little)

the type of individual to keep the stuffed animal they had since they were a baby

okay that’s it, goodbye and stay safe🫡

[ms-demeanor]

By the time my mom stopped teaching the NFL project she was teaching the 7th grade and had adjusted it for the older students and still got high levels of engagement and this is a sad story but not horribly sad but anyway

She had this one kid who had a lot of problems. He had issues at home and got into fights at school and was a very disruptive student. I would not have been able to chill around this student (which is why I am not a teacher and never will be) because he was disruptive by picking on other kids around him. He was a difficult student and it's one of those things that sucks because he'd had a reputation as a difficult student for years - there are kids where you say their name and every teacher in the office goes "ah, yeah, that kid" and that has to be awful to get stuck with.

My mom did pretty well with difficult students, even though she was this short little fat lady who could be very silly. She genuinely tried to work with kids who were having problems. And she did pretty well at classroom management - she got good at pairing this student up with kids who were calm and at-target grades-wise so that his behavior wouldn't send a less stable student into a tailspin.

So there was this kid, and he was frustrating, and he acted out in class and didn't do any work and had written the bare minimum in terms of letters to the football team for his NFL project, but he was doing okay. Better than he had been at the start of the year in her class, anyway.

This was late in the school year, maybe March or April. Near the end of the year, long after all the other kids had gotten their responses from the teams. The NFL project was done. The board was down, it was on to other stuff.

So it's a Friday, and my mom checks the PO box, and there's a letter for this kid from Florida. He's in her last class, so she hangs onto the letter and goes about her day.

He gets into a fight at lunch. A BIG fight. A campus-resource-officer-is-involved fight. He gets suspended, and he has had too many strikes and it's almost testing time and he is ABSOLUTELY going to get expelled, and my mom hears about it while classes are changing. He's in the office, waiting for his parents to pick him up and my mom asks one of the aides to watch the class for a minute and grabs the kid's letter and hustles up to the office.

She says she heard what happened and *god* kids, you know? This kid who is kind of a shit and is a problem for other students is crying and he says he's sorry, he knows he messed up and the fact that this tears my heart up fifteen years later is ALSO why I can't be a teacher, they're just little guys, they don't know what they're doing, fuck.

But my mom is like "No, no that's not why I'm here. I just don't know when you'll be in my class again, and I wanted to give you your letter; I got it in the mail today" and the kid takes the letter and opens it and sees "Dear [His Name]" and he loses it. Just. This twelve-year-old kid who thinks he's tough and gets in fights and has some shit he's dealing with is *bawling* because he thought she hadn't sent any of the letters. He thought it was fake, that the project was a lie and she hadn't given him a response letter on purpose. And so she gives him a hug and tells him that no matter what he can always write her a letter and she'll write back and then she has to go back to class and doesn't see the kid again, he does get expelled and when he's gone, he's gone, totally out of the district, no more news.

And about five years later my mom checks her mail in the office and there's a letter. This kid is inviting her to come to his high school graduation. It's in a different district, it's pretty far away, but he thinks she'd like to know that he made it.

Turns out it was in the district where my mom went to high school. He was about a foot taller than her and gave her a big hug when she showed up.

[fanboyistransboy]

Been playing a lot of Disco Elysium and I have many thoughts

This game is aggressively French.

Im enjoying it though.

It’s very silly in some places, incredibly sad in others. I like the options, the thoughts, the shivers. I like how we can know things that happen far away. Or glean little bits of insight. Trivia popping into our head.

Harry strikes me as someone with ADHD. Although that may be projection. But I relate to how he can bounce between subjects, and how random thought come up and I love how the game lets us take thoughts to their terminus.

Harry Dubois is not a good person in the beginning of the game but the moment you take control of him you can make him better.

The first thing I learned about Kim Katsarugi in game is that he would die for me. He didn’t tell me this but I just knew.

Harry has a colorful necktie that speaks to you. It’s really funny.

You can speak to a small girl outside of a book store and deduce something about her in order to wow her. It took me three tries but the game lets you try again.

I got to kick the shit out of a big racist called measure head. It’s a very hard check to pass but it’s worth it. (Don’t forget the spin kick)

Some people in this game are very mean when they meet you. Others are kind. There’s a gardener woman with big rubber gloves, if you ask to borrow them she lets you keep them. That was the nicest thing that happened this early in the game. Especially since I got bullied hard by two other kids.

I have a crush on Kim. I doubt I’m allowed to romance characters in game but if I can ask Kim out I would.

The voice acting in this game is top notch.

Idk who is voicing Kim but I could listen to him read the phone book. (I’d probably fall asleep/pos)

There are a million little side quests

Not that I mind. Interacting with all the people is it’s own reward.

That’s all for now but I’m gonna sleep.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Rumor Has It {11}

Chris Evans x Famous Reader Uriah “Riah” Tyler-Evans

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Angst, Slight embellishment of actual real-world media

Word Count: 3.2K

Summary: You and Chris have been married for four years after a whirlwind romance. You are both happy and trying to navigate marriage in the public eye while balancing your successful careers. In the entertainment industry, not everything is as it seems, the flash of a camera lens impairs vision. As scandal and flashing lights put a strain on your once fairytale marriage is it possible your Hollywood marriage can stand the test of the rumor mill?

**Inspired by a video seen of Chris and his co-star Ana De Armas on their press tour for Knives Out at TIFF where she kept touching his chest and face standing about five inches apart.

**NOTE: A WORK OF FICTION. NOT CREATED TO GARNER HATE OF ANY SORT.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You were reeling. You didn’t know if you were more furious or hurt. After everything, after the last few weeks, therapy, the revelations, the openness between you, your tears, and struggle this was where you were. Lost. Confused.

 After sitting in your office or almost an hour after the end of your FaceTime call with Chris examining the screen record of Chris’ background and the one from Ana’s picture you’d gone through every single scenario. You’d even branched out to scenarios of those scenarios and at the end of it all you’d settled on was something wasn’t right. Everything pointed to your husband being a liar, your husband playing both angles when in fact he as a low-down dirty asshole. You were reluctant to believe it especially with all you’d been through together in therapy. The emotions he’d expressed couldn’t have been faked. Only an actual sociopathic psychopath could have faked it. that possibility had you wondering if your husband was a sociopathic psychopath.

 This new light on the situation didn’t help you keep focus for the day. Concentration was pointless, working was pointless. Every couple of minutes you were thinking about it again. wondering where they were right now if they were together if they were laughing together about how easy it all had been. Needless to say, you were now looking at “platonic” actions in a whole new light. You now looked at the video of them together at TIFF differently, you looked at the interviews they did together and the body language differently. You even looked at the times they’d been together when you called him while he was filming. Your insecurities were at an all-time high.

 Those insecurities are what had you on a private jet bound for San Diego, two days before your scheduled trip to LA that was supposed to have you meet up with Chris. You’d followed your gut, insecurities, and fears here because you had a feeling something was up, and you refused to sit around and ignore it any longer. You’d played the dutiful wife, the wife who played the trust card. You’d played the faithful and devoted wife who did everything in her power to save and strengthen her marriage. It was time to play a different card, the stealth wife. You were going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

“Hello?”

 “I hope you’re not just going to roll over on this one.” Your mother’s voice resonated and you sighed out in the backseat of the chauffeured truck.

 “Mama, for goodness sake,” you began before she cut you off.

 “What would be for goodness’s sake is you putting both of them in their place, especially her. A man can be as faithful as Jesus but there will always be snakes and Jezebels slithering through the garden of Eden.”

 You rolled your eyes. You didn’t have the time or patience to listen to her scripture riddles. “Mama, I don’t have time for this.”

 “Do you have time for a divorce?” You almost fell out. She had the uncanny ability to take it from zero to two hundred in two seconds. This was not different. Still, she had a point.

 “I will take care of it. I’m in San Diego now and I’m going to confront Chris.”

 “Take a beat, I say confront her first.”

 “What?”

 “Yes, both parties are equally complicit but sit with her, get a feel for her. You’ll be able to tell her intentions within the first two minutes. I’m not saying go and beat her ass off the bat. It’s what I would do, but there are ways to be tactful in a situation like this,” she suggested.

 You had thought to go to her and rip out her hair then give her a nice souvenir in the form of a face scar to be used as a reminder to stay away from your husband. You’d also thought to play devil’s advocate and go behind enemy lines and assess the situation from her side. You’d left both options open and decided to go to the horse first. Hearing your mother’s thoughts, you decided to go with her plan. You’d go see the snake, Jezebel, first.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost an hour later, you were sitting in a hotel room in front of a set table with an assortment of foods before you.  Your mind was racing but you felt strangely calm as if you were slowly gliding through the air in zero gravity. It would have been peaceful, but your heart felt heavy.

 “Uriah?” Her accent was very clear. You also heard her shock and confusion. When you turned to her she had a smile on her face. She was a pretty woman. There was no lying about it. You could see why men would fall for her and her big hazel eyes, striking bone structure, plump bottom lip, and exotic accent. Thinking about that you saw what would draw him in.

 You smiled widely and stood. “Ana. How are you?” She returned your smile and stepped to you with her arms out. Once before you, she threw her arms around you hugging you. It was unexpected and your first red flag.

 “I’m so good. How are you? Oh my goodness I love this outfit you look amazing.” She was being overly friendly. This was a sign she was overcompensating for something. You played her game and carried in with small talk.

 After a few minutes, the two of you sat down across from each other. “Chris didn’t mention you were here.”

 “I know. He doesn’t know. I wanted it to be a surprise. So please don’t tell him.”

 “Oh, that’s so sweet—so romantic.” Her smile slipped for a moment. You didn’t miss it. She smiled again and straightened her back coming back to being the picture of friendliness.

 “I wanted to have a bit of lunch together just us girls. It’s been such a long time since we chatted. I just wanted to catch up.” You knew it was believable. You were not an amateur actress.

 “That sounds nice.”

 “I remember a few things Chris mentioned that you liked. Cucumber sandwiches, dragon rolls, and that salsa from your country that you said you couldn’t live without. I hope it’s the right brand.”

 Ana’s eyes roamed over the food on the table with a huge smile on her face. “Wow, he told you about all this?”

 You nodded and sipped your tea, “He did. He talks about you a lot. I can see he likes you.” Ana looked at you and studied you as if she were searching for something. You suspected what she was searching for. You kept your cool.

 “Yeah, we’re good friends. He’s a great man. You married a keeper.” You slowly nodded and took up one of the California Rolls before you. It was one of the two sushi products you would touch. From your example, Ana did the same and made a plate with a little of everything.

 The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes. After some quiet, you chatted about the business, upcoming projects, silly stories floating around Hollywood, fashion, makeup, and travel. It all seemed normal. If you didn’t have the fact in the back of your mind that she was fucking your husband then it was possible to become friends. In another life, the two of you may have become friends. You may have been good friends.

 As you spoke about trivial things, you formulated the right path to go. You couldn’t be too direct, and you couldn’t be too passive. You had to find a way to ride the line between the two.

 “I hope everything is okay with your family. I heard the break Chris took was because of a family emergency,” Ana led a little over an hour into brunch.

 “Yes, it was. We went through some things that had the power to break us. It was important we took the time. I wasn’t sure we still felt the same way about each other anymore.” It was true. Sometimes you had to reveal something personal to open the gates. Ana’s hand reached out for yours and rested on top in a reassuring way.

 “I’m sorry. I had no idea. Do you want to talk about it?”

 “No, no need. I want to distract myself. How are things with you? Anyone in your life that makes this crazy life of fame better?”

 She remained quiet for a little while then toyed with the straw in her Fiji water bottle. Her eyes didn’t go back to yours though. “Things are okay. They could definitely be better. I never realized how much fame could be so lonely. You have millions of people watching you all the time. Tens of them around you but still you can feel--.”

 “Alone?”

 Ana looked to you and nodded with a melancholic smile. “Yeah. I don’t expect you to understand. You have Chris.”

 “He’s been pulling away for some time. It may just be our workload and our maybe we’re not the same people anymore. We might have outgrown each other. I understand.” It was a stretch but in the light of new details maybe it wasn’t. Ana watched you and you tapped into your actress side and played up everything you felt a little over two months ago.

 “Oh Uriah, I’m sorry. Do you think--.” Ana paused looked down timidly then bit her bottom lip before she spoke again. “Do you think he’s having an affair?”

 Bingo, you thought. Nothing you’d said since this brunch began had any path to eluding about an affair. The fact that she brought it up was suspicious. “Do you think he is? You’re with him a lot more than I am these days.”

Ana looked at you. you felt the air in the room change, her eyes got slightly darker. “How would I know that?”

 You shrugged and took up a beignet. You loved that the powdered sugar just melted in your mouth.

 “Wait, are you insinuating I’m having an affair with Chris?”

 “I never said that Ana. Why would I even say that?”

 Ana straightened her sitting position and held her head higher. You knew what was coming and you loathed it. Either you’d slipped somewhere, or she was seriously on edge about the topic.

 “Oh, I see. You asked me here under false pretenses to play nice and sugar me up hoping to get me to spill something. You told me some sad story about your marriage hoping it would give you the optic of the sad victim so I could feel sorry for you. Wow. These questions weren’t you being a friend or a decent person. You were trying to find out of I’m having an affair with Chris. I can’t believe this!” She sprang to her feet and walked away from the table.

 “You’re overreacting, Ana. I never accused you of anything. All I wanted to do was catch up with you.”

 “Bullshit!” She rolled her eyes, turned her back to you then looked at you again.

 “By you coming to me like this it shows how scared you are. Do you feel threatened by me, Uriah? Worried that Chris likes me more than you? Scared that our connection is better than yours?” She was trying to get to you, you could tell. You refused to play this game.

 “Look, Ana, I’m not here to play games with you.”

 “No, you’re here to see how much of a threat I am for your marriage. What you should be thinking about is do you actually have a marriage still?” She didn’t give you a chance to reply before she walked out the door slamming it behind her.

 “This bitch!” She just moved her next chess piece—the knight.

 ~~~~~~~~

When you got to Chris’ room that evening you were even angrier than you were at brunch with Ana. You should have thrown her out the fucking window instead of playing nice with her. Yes, a tactical approach was the best but a show of dominance and violence was always a good move. You hadn’t made one misstep. You didn’t take the con too far, you weren’t too passive or direct. She had always been on edge. She probably was suspicious from the moment she walked in. You knew better than anyone a guilty conscience would always see a threat even where there was none. You were a threat though. You knew now she wasn’t as innocent as she pretended to be. That made you wonder just what the fuck was going on.

 According to Chris’ assistant, he was busy doing some last-minute interviews and events for Knives Out. You took advantage of the quiet and time alone by thoroughly scanning his room, especially where the backgrounds of his facetime call and her image looked identical. There was no mistaking it in person. They were the same. After you roamed around the room wondering just what the walls would say if they could talk. Would they tell you all their sorted secrets about your husband and a particularly hazel-eyed co-star? Would they speak of his fidelity and boringness or would they speak about his betrayal?

 When you’d thought yourself weary, you moved on to ways to relax which included taking a long bath and feasting on room service. It was a good distraction but that was all it was—a distraction. One that you knew would end as soon as Chris got back. You would have to address the literal elephant in the room the picture.

 You were so distracted by the view from the living room window and your tumultuous thoughts and feelings that you almost didn’t hear when the door opened, and Chris walked in.

 “Uriah.” You looked to see him standing there dressed in perfect business casual wear with his hair perfectly tousled. You would never think he was unattractive. For a few moments, his eyes left your face and roamed over your robe-clad body and down your exposed leg. As he scanned you, he walked more into the room.

 “Hi.”

“You’re not supposed to be here in San Diego. I thought we were meeting in LA.

 “I know, I just—wanted to be here.”

 Chris sighed and sat in a seat across from you. you found it a little strange that he hadn’t seen you in a week and he hadn’t come over to greet you or initiate contact. As you were going to bring it up, Chris began speaking again.

 “Checking up on me?” His words rubbed you the wrong way. Turning around to face him you crossed your legs not caring that they were fully exposed.

 “Should I be checking on you? I wasn’t aware you needed checking up on.”

 He kept eye contact with you. You could see the tight clench in his jaw and the straight line of his lips. He was annoyed.

 “Did you lure Ana to lunch and accuse her of having an affair with me?”

 Closing your eyes, you sighed and cracked your neck. You’d just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. The bitch had tattled and moved her second chess piece at the same time.

 “Don’t lie to me Uriah,” Chris warned through tightly clenched jaws.

 “I did not accuse her of anything.”

 “So, you did lure her to lunch and treated her like a homewrecker and threatened my career and name in the industry?”

 “Are you kidding me, Chris?”

 “Are you kidding me, Uriah?!” He sprang to his feet like a firework shell shooting into the air. You could feel the anger coming off of him.

 “I cannot believe you would do this! Why would you do this?”

 “Me? Why would I do this? Why would you do this?”

 “What are you talking about? What have I done Uriah?” You got off the couch and made your way to your purse for your phone. If he wanted to play the fool you would enlighten him. once you found the picture you shoved it in his face.

 “What the fuck is that?” You watched him as he scanned the post then rolled his eyes.

 “It’s a post.”

 “No shit it’s a post. Did you send her that sweater?”

 “So what? I wasn’t going to wear it, she liked it so I gave it away.”

 “And this?” You pointed to the background of the picture and then went to the still of his facetime call.

 “What about this? Why does your background which is here, identically match hers?”

 Chris looked at you like you were bat shit crazy as if he had no idea who you were.

 “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. What the fuck is this?”

 He didn’t speak, he just stared at you.

 “I’ve suppressed the urge to ask the question because of everything we’ve been through these last months but come on Chris. I can only be so complacent.”

 “Ask the question, Uriah. I dare you.” It was another warning. You flared your nose and hesitated. You knew if you asked it you’d be right back where you were before therapy. The hurt on his face was evident. He looked as if he were holding back tears.

 “Ask it!”

 “Why do your backgrounds match?”

 “They are hotel rooms, I’m sure they are all identical.”

 “Bullshit!” You walked away from him and to the window.

“Did you come here to confront her--to confront me?” You clenched your jaw and fought back your tears.

 “I wanted to see where your head was and the opportunity arose to see where hers was too,” you explained.

 “Satisfied? Was her denial enough?”

 “She didn’t deny anything. She threw her cockiness around instead. Did she tell you that when she came running to you to get sympathy and create an even bigger wedge between us?”

 “This isn’t about her Uriah. This is about you. I thought you trusted me. I thought we’d moved past this and had turned a page and were moving forward. I thought we were stronger.”

 “I thought so too. I really tried not to come here with this. I debated it but Chris how can I look past this? If you were me, what would you have done?”

 “I wouldn’t come here accusing you or your costar or fucking!”

 “For the first half of our marriage you accused me of fucking Christiano! I just need you to explain this to me.”

 “I have nothing to explain. This wasn’t my room. She wasn’t here.”

 “So, she wasn’t in here dressed like that with you? You weren’t fucking her before this was taken?”

 He didn’t speak right away. He looked disappointed. He sighed and walked away facing his back to you.

 “I don’t think we’ll ever get past this.  The last two months were a waste of time. I thought we could move forward and be stronger because of the pain and the struggle but I don’t think we can.” He turned back to you in time for you to see a tear roll down his cheek.

 “I never lied to you. I’m not playing you either. That picture was not taken here. She’s never been in here.” He dropped his head and wiped his tears away. “I don’t think I should be here either.”

 He didn’t give you enough time to speak, he just walked out the door leaving you alone. You didn’t know what to think or believe at this point. You knew you weren’t crazy. You also knew that this bitch had shown her full hand. 

~~~~~~~~~

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[oldadastra]

Letter to Lucasfilm

So, I’ve written a letter to Lucasfilm. It could be better, but this is what came out this afternoon. I hope others who are writing will share what they are putting into the mail. I was trying to be concise, but it still ran to several pages. Find it in its entirety below the cut:

***

Lucasfilm, Ltd. Attn: Fan Mail PO Box 29901 San Francisco, CA 94129-0901

December 30, 2019

Lucasfilm/Disney:

I am writing to express my anger, shock, disappointment and deep sadness with the final installment of the Star Wars saga, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.

I was ten in 1977 when the original film was released and have loved Star Wars ever since. I was thrilled by the reopening of the saga in The Force Awakens, and delighted by the excellent script, rich visual storytelling, nuanced character development, and thematic direction of Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi.

Disney took on a sacred trust when it acquired Lucasfilm. Star Wars is deeply important to many people, and if you couldn’t do justice to the characters and themes of the saga, I’d argue that you had no business being involved in these stories. There is so much Disney/Lucasfilm got wrong in Rise of Skywalker, I’m struggling to gather my thoughts or express them coherently, but here goes:

Ben Solo. You created the most compelling character in the new trilogy by destroying the happy ending of the original trilogy. I was willing to go along on the ride Abrams and Kasdan began in The Force Awakens, because the fate of Ben Solo felt like it mattered. The questions raised in the new films: the nature of good and evil, the degree to which one’s family legacy defines a person, whether a one can atone for past sins; all of it felt alive and urgent in the person of Ben, a character I loved like one of my own children from the moment we so traumatically met him in The Force Awakens. His story was the beating heart of the new trilogy. His story is the one that mattered. His life was the one to be saved.

Ben solo was never an exposition device, cool villain, or disposable baddie to me. He was Han and Leia’s only child; loved, targeted, broken, lost.

The Rise of Skywalker redeems Ben Solo in the final act of the film, only to destroy him. Was it always your plan to kill the last Skywalker in the final installment of this story, to render the overarching message of all nine films as tragedy? If so, I wish I’d known this was your intent; I would never have engaged with these stories and made an emotional investment in them. If tragedy was your goal, that was certainly your choice to make, but I’d argue that you owed it to the audience and the cast to do a better job of it.

For example: You give us evidence that Han and Leia’s child was targeted by evil old men from before his birth. It’s a disturbingly explicit allegory of grooming and child abuse.

You give Ben Solo a backstory which implies he is guilty of vile, Anakin-style crimes against other young people, coding him as a school shooter, and then chose to exonerate him of this crime in a comic book, where the general audience will never know he was innocent. It’s a form of character assassination.

You consigned Ben Solo to the darkness for almost the entirety of three films, then denied him his voice in the final acts of his own story. “Ow?” The only words the redeemed Ben Solo will ever speak. Apalling.

You brought back Palpatine for this film (arguably rendering the message of the first six films meaningless), identified the Emperor as Ben’s tormentor all along, then denied Ben the opportunity to fight his enemy in the final act of the film.  Rise of Skywalker literally throws Ben Solo into a pit, and forces him to climb out alone and unaided while Rey is whispered to by “all the jedi,” offering her words of encouragement. It’s grotesque.

I’m getting lost in rage and sadness again here, so let me just say that even if you inexplicably didn’t care about the last Skywalker in the Skywalker saga, you have done a grave disservice to Adam Driver in your treatment of his character in this these films.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Driver’s non-profit organization, Arts in the Armed Forces? He’s deeply committed to the importance of stories as a way to make meaning out of the inexpressible. Did he really sign on to this project thinking that the final message of his character would be to say that even if you are able to come back from the darkness, your final act must be to die? That imperfect children don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, life? You owe Mr. Driver an apology, but you can never really atone for what you’ve done to him.  

You ended a nine-film, forty-two year saga with all the Skywalkers dead, and a Palpatine the last one standing. You spent three films tormenting Han and Leia’s child, only to kill him in the final act.  What you did to Ben Solo (and frankly to us, who loved him) feels more like a horror story than anything else. In my dreams, I walk right into your offices and flip over tables.

There’s a lot more I could accuse Rise of Skywalker of bungling, but I assume you are hearing this feedback from others besides me, so I will summarize:

Rey Palpatine. Was is all about the midiclorians after all? By making her Palpatine’s granddaughter, you deny Rey everything that made her special; you deny her agency, and you negate the beautiful message I thought you were trying to communicate in the first two films with Rey Nobody: that the force belongs to us all, and that anyone can be a hero

The erasure of Rose Tico. It’s difficult to interpret this as anything but a capitulation to a loud, racist, and misogynist element of the fandom. It’s a very bad look, Disney. Please pay attention to the message you are sending.

Character development in general and a truly horrible ending: Rey goes back into her child-like costume, Ben Solo spent much of the film forced back into his stupid mask. Ben disappears at the end with no one to mourn him. Rey ends the film alone in a desert wasteland.

Rise of Skywalker is the most bleak, hopeless, and depressing Star Wars film ever made. As days go by, it’s becoming clear that it was also poorly written and edited. These stories matter to us, and we pay close attention to them. Disrespect us at your peril.

I don’t expect anyone will ever read this missive, or care at all about what an old shepherd on a mountainside thought about the execution of your multi-billion dollar movies. This is a personal exercise in catharsis as much as anything.

But here are a few notes in a language you might understand. I made some quick calculations about how much money I’ve spent on Star Wars over the past four years, and I’m sharing that with you now.

Movie tickets:  I’m one of those people who sees movies I love more than once (I saw Empire Strikes Back eighty-one times in the theater!). I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi at least ten times each. I’m not counting the cost of tickets for my extended family, whom I brought along to a number of screenings, or tickets for birthday party guests we treated to these movies. My teenaged daughter came along for all the screenings I am including, so I calculate I spent about $360 on tickets. We also bought tickets to Rogue One and Solo, so it was actually more, but you get the idea.

Books, tie-ins, DVDs, merchandise: I invested in The Art of the Force Awakens and The Art of the Last Jedi books, as well as at least one SW Visual Dictionary. I bought DVDs of the films of course, and CDs of John Williams’ beautiful scores. I bought and read a number of books; Boodline and the Leia novel, The Force Awakens novelization and Junior novelization, Aftermath, and a couple others whose titles escape me. At least seven action figures. Toy light sabers for me and my daughter. Posters. T Shirts. I know I’m not remembering everything, but it adds up to an expenditure of at least $347 in books and other Star Wars merchandise.

Star Wars Celebration: I splurged on passes for my daughter and I to attend Star Wars Celebration in Chicago this past spring. It cost me about $400, and a last-minute family emergency meant we were unable to attend, but the tickets were non-refundable, so it was money I spent on Star Wars nonetheless.

Total: $1,107

A laughably small amount to you guys, I’m sure. Perhaps a contrast is useful:

Total amount I have spent (tickets for my daughter and I on opening night) on Rise of Skywalker: $22.

Total amount I plan to spend on Disney Lucasfilm merchandise in the future: $0

I invested quite a lot of my time in Star Wars over the past four years. I’ve written thousands of words in essays, appreciations and analyses (mostly on Tumblr), where I amassed a modest following of just over a thousand people. I’m sure I occasionally bored my friends and family by going on and on about Star Wars. This kind of ‘work’ has no dollar value of course. I will say that it was great fun while it lasted, though I feel foolish in retrospect, remembering all the times I came to your defense, arguing that the saga was in good hands, that you had a plan; that you were going to tell a good story.

Sadly, I don’t think you can fix the damage you’ve done to the Galaxy Far Far Away with The Rise of Skywalker. You made this film, made your choices, and put it out into the world. I have no control over where you go from here, but as a person who has loved Star Wars since I was a child, I beg you to take some time to reflect before making another Star Wars film.

You’ve broken so many hearts. Mine was one.

Andrea ____

...my full name and address, blah blah, I live in Vermont

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 5 July 1838

4 50

10 5

awaked 2 or 3 times during the night, so terribly bit by something – had slept between my 2 cloaks (my old maclean plaid and 8 years old green and black Paris merinos) – my artillery man, lance-corporal Colin Morrison, an Edinburgh man, was waiting for me – a fine looking soldier-like, civil man of apparently 24 or 25 – very fine morning – off at 6 – soon passed the little fortified gate (drawbridge and double trench) out of the town, leaving (left) the sandy inlet and the long bridge over the river (Urumea) and the road to Passages – we soon passed thro’ the ruined village (vide line 2 above) and pursued our road by a steepish ascent towards Hernani distant 4 English miles – about a mile or more from St. Sebastian, a fort, (left) on the hill [manned] by Spanish soldiers – hilly road – hilly country – but not much wood beyond bush wood – Colin talked all the way and explained their positions at the useless siege of Hernani – for what have the chistianos got by it? merely a little more elbow-room about St. Sebastian and a walk of 4 miles into the country – nothing else – the carlists are still all roundabout – the Christianos destroyed the convents and village and houses about St. Sebastian for fear of their affording shelter to the carlists – whatever the carlists do, the xtians and British Legion rob just as much – and Colin has often been ashamed even for our artillery (about 120 men at St. Sebastian but entered as marines because we have no right to send a land force tho’ everybody sees thro’ this flimsy subterfuge) – Colin has seen our artillery ordered to go to the different villages 8 or 10 miles off and take even the very beds the people slept and what was worse oblige them to carry their own things thus plundered to St. Sebastian – the artillery men are quite sick of all this – but the officers wish to stay – they like to be on service – and the commandant has extra allowances and Lord John Hay has £6 a month extra for table money as commodore etc. etc. – Colin cannot like the Spaniards – they have no heart – give us no thanks whatever we do for them – They think they can do anything and everything, and can do very little – will not stir themselves more ambition than the English but not courage to follow it – they themselves (the Xtianos) could have done nothing at Hernani without the English -  the Carlists fight better – never saw men behave better than some of them did at Hernani – but they are all light armed – have nothing but musquettry  - or else he agreed with me they might easily take even St. Sebastian by a corp de main and Hernani – I see nothing to prevent it – the 200 or 300 of the British legion at Hernani, look miserable – whatever happens they are always put into the worst quarters and have the worst of everything and cannot get paid – they live on their rations and plunder and as they can – they had confidence in the bravery of general Evans, but not in his talent – he brought the artillery into action at Hernani much too close to the enemy’s fire – if Don Carlos had had any artillery, all our men would have been blown to pieces – Hernani a poorly walled little fortified town, Colin said of about 500 inhabitants – 1 longish narrow street opening into a little grande place and one or 2 little side streets – more picturesque than good – a few of the houses handsomely carved on the gable front towards the street and seeming to have been inhabited by better sort of people – porte cochère into large room where stood carts or what not and au fond the large wide stone (handsome perhaps if clean) staircase – altogether Spanish – walked thro’ the town to the last xtiano guard perhaps ¼ mile from the town – 4 or 5 men there one with a telescope watching the carlists in force on the opposite hill, and taking care that the last xtiano sentry at a house a little distance below us was not surprised – the women with the legion are chiefly if not all Irish – I saw the serjants’ wife bargaining in the street – she contrives to do pretty well for she washes etc. for the men, and when they got paid she gets something, and they can live on her husbands’ rations and her allowance of ½ ditto – I think Colin said they had per man 1lb. beef (very good considering) 1lb. bread 1/4lb. cheese – I forgot what of potatoes and I think a gill of rum – 20 or more above proof – would bear 4 water and still be as strong as our rum in England – the artillery have all this for 5d. English and Colin said they (the artillery) could sell it to the [pursuer] at St. Sebastian if they chose for 10d. that is the price it cost him at St. Sebastian – a road direct from Hernani along the valley to Passages but not open because the middle part of it in possession of the carlists – or I should have liked to walk the round back this way to St. Sebastian – 12000 of the legion at Passages – 12 companies with 4 officers to each = 48 that is the colonel and major and two more I forget what he called them – I had thought of breakfasting at Hernani – Luisa had said there was a café there where I could breakfast – but seeing no signs of it, I said nothing but turned back – off from St. S- at 6 at the last guard (about 1/4mile out of Hernani) at 7 35 and back again at the fonda at St. S- at 9 10 having just gone on the ramparts to see the breach made under the d. of Wellington – breakfast immediately – café au lait – I was thirsty and thought the warm breakfast would quite refresh – the café seemed to have a queer taste – took the milk by itself – it was hardly down before it was up again! (surely it was goats’ milk which never did and perhaps never will agree with me) – lay down for 50 minutes till 10 and was dozing when the Captain rapped at my door – said I had not breakfasted but should be ready in ¼ hour – I had luckily brought up my wine from dinner last night – ate a little bit of bread and drank a little wine and water which did very well for me – had Luisa up and got her to write

SH:7/ML/E/21/0141

me out the bill – myself 20 réals – George 12 reals and 4 reals = 1 piastre or 1 franc .:. my bill was just 8 fr. – gave la fille 1 piastre or franc (took it from George who had exchanged a 5fr. piece) and in paying Madame veuve Iriarte gave her two 5fr. pieces saying that the 2 fr. over where for Mademoiselle Luisa – at the quai in 2 or 3 minutes but no captain – waited for him 20 minutes and embarked and put off from the jetty at St. Sebastian at 11 40 – dawdled a little in the port for one of our rowers (3 now instead of 4 as in coming) to pick up a bottle of wine or something – we were now myself and George our captain and 3 rowers – doubled the rock island to the westward as in entering and rowed 20 minutes till 12 – then hoisted 2 sails and went I should suppose at the rate of 5 knots an hour – a good deal of surf (considering the fineness of the day) under the citadel-rock and between this and the rock-island – we had considerably less to the westward of the island under the tower fort which Colin had told me they (our men) fortified without ever receiving anything for their labour – they did a great deal of work at first – they understood our government set all down to the Spanish debt – yes! said I, but Spain will never pay I think – In sight of Passages at 12 35 – sick at 1 ¼ - again at 2 ¼ and Fontarabia in sight at 2 35 – St. Sebastian-citadel, and rock-island, and tower fort – Passanges – all high green rock to the bay of Fontarabia (i.e. to the striking projecting rock called Pointe de Figuier [Figueres?]) – at the French end of it (north side of this bay as I call it, of Fontarabia – embouchure of the Bidassoa) red rock head looked at a distance like a red-tiled town – then while from this end all the way to St. Jean de Luz – land at 3 50 at St. Jean de Lux near the douane – the solider or douanier seemed afterwards ½ ashamed to have questioned me about my little packet of night things but I went in and opened it out – a good deal of surf in entering the little harbour at the embouchure of the little river Nivelle – I can well believe the difficulty and danger of getting in a bad weather – soon walked to the Inn – M. Junca and all glad to see me – followed me to A-‘s door, as if to see the happy meeting – but they fell back for all was deadly still – poor A- was poorly and all had seemed more glad to see [me] back than she – I had thought to try the land-way or at least go to the frontier, and stand on the bridge between the French sentry at one end and the Spanish at the other – no danger or difficulty so far – but A- wanted to be off immediately back to Bayonne – a diligence would go at 5 – But I fell faint – ordered a mutton chop – had it in the salle à manger and M. Junca and Conigo and others came round me – M. Junca had discovered that I was carlist – found it out from my manner on embarking yesterday – Conigo a contrebandier – M. Junca the means of getting formation for Mr. Mitchell  shewed me one of the notes Mr. M- pays him weekly I think for conveyance of messengers M. Junca a very good sort of little man – said I had trusted him and he would do the best he could for me – paid Conigo the 50/. as agreed and gave him 5/.  over for his crew – all parted good friends – the diligence, an omnibus à 6 places de chaque coté  (12 persons) horsed by M. Junca – about 7 persons besides A- and myself and George 6 women and a boy inside, and a gentleman on the box outside with the cocher – waited ¼ for us – off at 5 ¼ at the barrier at 7 ¼ - to leave our passport and take a receipt for it – I got impatient of waiting, and A- and I walked to our hotel St. Etienne – 12 minutes and arrived there at 7 ½ - ordered dinner – then had Josephine to do my hair at 7 50 – then a minute or 2 with A- all had heard of A-‘s not going to St. S- our coachman had not returned when she got back to St. Jean de Luz – poor M. Junca had looked after us, and not seeing the boat (while he turned aside we had put into the port of Socoa to land A-) was quite alarmed was just going to give orders for sending out after us when he saw A- returning and heard what had happened – A- said she had not got back till 5, and if I had not left her the umbrella could not have got back at all – the people told me she had got back between 3 and 4 – however I thanked heaven she had turned back – she could not have borne the boating and the impossibility of getting her anything comfortable at St. S- would have been terrible – with her a minute or two after my hair was done but I soon came to my room and wrote  the following in pencil in my little note book  she means to trouble everybody as little as she can will do for herself   I gently said well if you can do better I shall be very glad   I saw before she was all wrong and guessed the nature of her illness  it is astonishing how little I care  I was guiltless of thinking of her yesterday or this morning till my arrival   when at the moment I forgot my anticipations and ran up to the people and then to her I was soon set right  how different my last reception on returning from Spain to Lady S. de R-! dinner at 8 ½ to 9 25 and then had Josephine ¼ hour very fine day tho’ a light shower just before leaving St. Jean de Luz F71 ½° at 9 55

[joemuggs]

Drexciya’s Kitsch Sublime

Apropos of a conversation about Drexciya’s odder Euro electropop influences, I was reminded of a WIRE review I did for the Neptune's Lair reissue in 2010.

Could Drexciya be the most perfectly-realised project ever to come out of Techno? The consistency of the huge body of work between 1992 and James Stinson’s death in 2002 makes almost any other artist in the field look like a woolly-minded dilettante in comparison. During Stinson’s lifetime, Drexciya’s anonymity was total: despite occasional (masked) interviews, his and his primary musical partner Gerald Donald’s names and identities were never publicly revealed, and their individual roles in the music and ever-developing mythos are still unclear. Their musical practice was severe, with every track’s sparse electronic groove relentlessly linear in structure and seemingly recorded live and without edits. The mythos was Afro-Futurism in excelsis, combining fierce working-class pride and engagement with racial issues with cosmic and utopian thinking, scientific and technological obsessions, and most importantly the creation of Drexciya itself: a black Atlantis peopled by aquatic descendents of drowned slaves, and a fluid imaginitive space where a play of identities and futures could take place.

1999’s Neptune’s Lair was the first Drexciya album proper following the compilation The Quest and also their first release for Tresor, and at the time, thanks to the Berlin label’s dominance, was a leap into the Techno mainstream. What is striking now, though, is how playful it is, even to the point of being wilfully silly in places. The methodology may be austere and the back-story dense, but the music is neither. For every moment of sublime cosmic scope or intense physical funk, there are kooky Star Trek special FX bleeps (“Species Of The Pod”, “Habitat O Negative”) or out-and-out kitsch B Movie sci-fi synths (“Quantum Hydrodynamics”). There’s also a strain of European cabaret camp to the synth pop of “Surface Terrestrial Colonisation” or “Oxyplasmic Gyration Beam” whose place in the post-Kraftwerk lineage is closer to Jimi Tenor or Felix Kubin than to Cybotron or Bambaataa. It’s this which has been taken to ultra-deadpan extremes in Donald’s later work as Dopplereffekt and Arpanet, and which perhaps most directly influenced Electroclash-era acts like Adult. and Peaches (Stinson went on record as being pleased with Drexciya’s influence on these artists, whereas he had criticised white Techno artists like Richie Hawtin for co-opting black musicians’ styles).

But the kitsch never undermines the lofty aims of the Drexicya project, and the reason is simple: behind the mystery and technology, they were ultimately a funk band. It’s explicit in the strangely dainty P-Funk squiggles and slick cyborg jazz-funk, and even the Belgian-style rave of “Devil Ray Cove” has drum fills and voice snatches that are unadulterated funk. Of all Detroit’s Techno artists, Drexciya were the ones with most overlap with the city’s speedy, resolutely non-cerebral Ghettotech sounds. Like James Brown, like George Clinton, like Sly Stone, they were able to short circuit any opposition between foolishness and seriousness, to bring dense layers of history, imagination and futurism into the party without succumbing to the po-facedness that dominated Techno in the late 1990s.

All of which explains why Drexciya are more relevant now than ever: electronic club music is currently undergoing a spectacular resurgence of The Funk. Their influence is obvious in the Glasgow’s Numbers/LuckyMe scene, most notably via Rustie whose early Voltaic releases were pure Drexciyan Electro and who has been remixed by Gerald Donald in his Heinrich Mueller guise. But whether it’s in LA’s Low End Theory or Manchester’s Hoya:Hoya club or Alexander Nut’s Rinse FM show, you can hear the crisp and witty sounds of Drexciya rising from the deep once again. It’s hard to say that this is the definitive Drexciya release – the EPs that preceded it had more raw soundsystem charm, and the deluge of releases that followed (no less than eight albums under different aliases in the final year of Stinson’s life) further finessed their techniques creating ever more immersive soundworlds and moments of overwhelming beauty. But as a centrepiece between these phases of their work, as their breakthrough record, and as one which feels as if its time has finally come, it couldn’t be a better way into their world.

[jacedakid-blog]

Disasters. How prone are they?                    : A DRRM Talk

On December 9 2019, I, along with my friends, conducted an interview with the Barangay Chairman within our vicinity, Barangay. 465 Zone 46. We were able to gather information regarding DRRM ( Disaster Risk Reduction Management ) protocols and how to be a more concerned and active resident of the community. Here was what transpired during the said activity.

“ Safety isn’t expensive, it’s priceless.” - Jerry Smith

I N T E R V I E W    P R O P E R 

We were lucky to have met the chairman himself, Alexander T. Tassara, and get insights about the community.

The community is a small one with an approximate number of two thousand residents. Along with these residents are the transient or short-term residents which occupy much of the vicinity as well especially for commercial purposes such as school, entertainment, food industry, so on and so forth.

The barangay is a mixed one. It comprises commercial establishments as well as government based ones. “ We have a primary trade and commerce dito, especially with the food industry, catering services, and we have the Santisimo parish priest, University of Santo Tomas school.” says Tassara.  Political boundaries also circle the area of political jurisdiction of barangays.

C U R R E N T   S I T U A T I O N S

I M P O R T A N T  N O T E S  : A PERSPECTIVE

1.) What are the most encountered issues and problems in the community? -  “ General concerns, and peace and order, and basura. Yung Peace and Order, alam niyo naman yun. Safety is everybody’s concern, diba? But ang challenge namin sa community, hindi lang yung nakatira, plus yung kayo, yung transient. Yung pumupunta, bumibisita, kumakain sa amin. We do not have informal settlers here, dinadayo kami dito ng mga namimingwit, yung parang fishing. Nangmimingwit sila ng ano?  Meaning yung vulnerability ninyo. Meron dito yung “ pahingi-kalabit “ , kakalabitin ka sasabihin “ kuya pahingi ng pagkain” tapos hawak mo ng ganyan yung softdrinks tapos hahawakan yung straw tapos bibigay mo na. Why? Pinupuntahan tayo dito, not because mayayaman kayo, because yung puso niyo, yung pagiging mapagbigay at understanding, dun magiging vulnerable kayo, naawa kayo sa mga bata.

1.1) So suggest niyo po na pag may gumagawa ng ganun wag na naming bigyan? - Yes, may mga proper institutions for that, like si Santisimo Rosario, Parish Priest, bigay kayo ng money if gusto niyo mag donate, gusto mong makatulong, yung mga taong talagang tumutulong. Pero di namin yun tinatanggal sa inyo, yung pagtulong, ang sinasabi ko lang challenge yan samin kasi pabalik-balik. Especially kami, sometimes we project a hard instance, natatakot kami because of technology. You do not understand kung paano yung psychology nila at kung paano namin konocontrol. Nakita niyo nalang angalit si chairman, nakakuha kayo ng pagkakataon dahil gusto niyo nga ding makatulong, nagrecord kayo na ipost niyo sa youtube or sa social media, hindi niyo alam ang puno’t dulo. Again, hindi yun kasalanan niyo, it’s just lacking of information. 

T H I E V E S  A N D  S A F E T Y 

“ Lalo na yung mga professional na kawatan. Ano yung mga tinitignan nila sa inyo. If di kayo aware, pagrelax kayo magstrastrike sila, yung makakita ng opportunity to strike. May question ako sa inyo, may id ba kayo ng ust? Anong meron sa id? Yung information ano pa? In terms of safety. have you ever inspect na ano ang meron sa id na yun. May whistle. Thank you. Dapat sinasabi yun, because yung pagsisigaw natin may certain decibel level pero yung pag whistle malayo yung na ca-caught na attention, pag may whistle ibig sabihin may SOS. Pag ang tao nagsisigaw lang diba one, two, three na tao makikita yung nanakawan pero that’s it pero pag nag whistle ka. Lalo na sa atin yung mgs tricycle driver diyan, tanod tsaka kagawad yan, they are familiar and they know kung ano yun. Now you know. 

T R A S H E S  AND  W A S T E  D I S P O S A L

AS YOU CAN SEE THE STREETS ARE VERY CLEAN WHICH TELLS US THAT THIS BARANGAY IS MAINTAINING ITS CLEANLINESS EVEN WITH THE NUMBER OF TRANSIENTS GOING IN AND OUT OF THE PLACE.

“ Lalo na kayo dumating kayo dito, kayo san niyo nilalagay yung mga basura niyo, sa bag, sa plastic, minsan yung bag butas, minsan yung plastic butas, meaning figuratively unconciously, iniiwan talaga niyo, why, kasi someone will pick it for us tama ba, sana naman lagay sa tamang basura. 

Later on during the interview we asked if there were fines for littering and he said yes but they do not implement that because...

“ I do no implement that because I do not believe ang tao macocorect sa fine, macocorrect ang tao sa attitude. I do not believe on that. You are future. I do not care sa fine, pera lang yun oh I wanted you to be aware diba? Paglumabas kayo ng Pilipinas aware kayo, bakit dito di kayo aware? Bakit? May gagawa para sa atin niyan, diba? You do the multitasking sa isip pero you never concentrate sa impact.

ONE THING THAT STRUCK ME THE MOST WAS WHEN HE SAID THAT WE ARE THE FUTURE AND THAT THEY ARE DONE AND THAT WE SHOULD ADRESS THE PROBLEMS OF THE COMMUNITY AGGRESIVELY. TO PARTICIPATE IN THE THINGS THAT ARE WRONG. 

D I S A S T E R S  A R O U N D  T H E  C O M M U N I T Y 

USED AS AN ALARM FOR HAZARDS AND DISASTERS.

HAZARDS ENCOUNTERED: 

There are man made disasters and natural disasters. One of them are the spontaneous emergence of fire. For natural disasters there are also earthquakes, floods. Flooding can be made also into a man made disaster and if the cause of it is the multitude of trashes. Along with this comes the problems of illnesses such as leptospirosis because no one really drowns in manila. The complications brought up by flash floods are more disease threatening rather physical ones like drowning.

However, no alarming floods really occur despite the reputation of the vicinity as a flood area because of the raised area except for some houses built on low ground but usually the barangay hall becomes a temporary home for them.

The community conducts weekly cleanup drives also. Health detrimental effects such as flooding and spread of diseases may occur without this. Other than that, they also have drills to let the community the protocols when disaster strikes and also to have a consise and safe assurance that the community knows what to do in times of crisis.

I N S I G H T S 

I have always been an active member of the DRRM community. I take pride in knowing the ins and outs of what to do when disaster strikes, how to identify a hazard, as well as ways to act efficiently to be able to save lives of endangered people in times of crisis. I have been trained to be an alert rescuer and so it gives me good satisfaction that even though this barangay is densely populated, it still manages to uphold the guidelines of DRRM in ensuring a safe and clean environment for the people within the community. This is my first time really seeing the people of the community and identifying the things needed to do to act as a responsible citizen. This taught me the importance of not only being ready, but to guide others as well to be prepared for when the worst comes.

_                                                                                                                -

            S a f e t y  i s n ‘ t  e x p e n s i v e, i t ‘ s  p r i c e l e s s .

_                                                                                                                -

[soysaucevictim]

Busy, busy, busy... also this post is hella long.

-

Aug. 20

I woke up around 8AM today.

I was picked up by a new/different transport service than before. Got out there in a rush, because I didn’t get up at an ideal time.

Since I was earlier to the facility and bored before group, I decided to go into the TV Room and continue sorting the VHS cassettes. Felt productive, but worked up a little sweat going up and down.

Seeking Safety went alright. I did the DD afterwards, 30 raised leg push-ups with EC... twice. I mis-remembered it as 15/15, not alternating. Pffft. :P

Then I got a chance to replace my cell. Here’s to hoping it won’t be a giant headache. But it was a thing in the anxiety BG noise to deal with, and this was needed.

Got home, did some dishes, made dinner (a bit cranky, but I’m just tired), BS’D, and did the rest of my exercise.

First, Day 10 of the PO!C. 200 overhead punches, done in one go. I alternated sides with each rep. I started feeling it by the last ~50-100 reps.

Second, Day 10 of the CoSC. 2x40″ calf raise holds. Only rested ~10″. Doable, despite being overtired.

Last, Day 10 of the 30DoY. Nice upright/standing sequence. Love the tree pose, but I did get some awkward tension in my left ankle doing them. Might not’ve been as attentive of form for that, but still, good work!

-

Aug. 21

I got up a bit after noon.

Did a bit of the usual stuff, overate and was groggy for a few hours. Was roped into playing more rummy with the family. (I won twice and grandma won once... wasn’t Dad’s day, it would seem.)

I then did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 20 pop-up tripods with EC. Very fatiguing, especially the last half, taking a bit of digging deep to get through that! Ooof. :P

Second, Day 11 of the PO!C. 240 punches, bounce-switching every 20, and done in one go. Fun and breezy.

Third, Day 11 of the CoSC. 110 calf raises, split into 2x55. I believe I had to rest ~20″ in between. Doable, but tougher than throwing those punches!

Last, Day 11 of the 30DoY. Okay. I liked MOST of this sequence. Except TWO of the exercises. One being that hollow hold, because I never much cared for ‘em (neck strain). The OTHER was that SHOULDER STAND. Okay. The BIGGEST issue was space negotiation during the transitions (and the position of my computer, in relation to my body).

I knew I would have to do those with wall assist (did it one foot on wall at full extension). I have never done a handstand/etc before.

See how MOST of the positions have the legs splayed out at or near full extension (like that hollow hold)? That meant my upperbody was pretty damn far away from the wall. So I had to waste like 5-10″ just getting up to one.

And then I had to scramble toward getting to the fullest expression I could in ~5 more seconds. Which is hairy because you have to also mind how much pressure your head/neck is getting, during the 5-10″ left of the interval. It’s something I honestly don’t feel comfortable rushing to get into and out of. (Hell - it’s the reason I kinda swore off doing plows anymore.) orz

Now you have to lose ~5″ to getting down and extending into corpse pose. Which as a resting pose really feels hard to appreciate for only 10-15″, before repeating the sequence. :I

Now, If I COULD drop into said shoulder stand anywhere - a lot of that wouldn’t be an issue. Well, I’m glad I’ll only a have to do that one one more time in this program. And I think it’ll be way easier to negotiate from/to that knee hug before/afterwards.

-

Aug. 22

I woke up a bit before 7:30AM, today.

Got to the facility and worked on a composition sketch for a new project, I’m working on. Also spent some time doodling some of that Kefka art I recently posted. That and I listened to music, leading up to my WRAP Group - which went well enough.

I then did the DD (and a bit of socialization), before leaving the facility. 40 raised leg circles, with EC. I did this one while I was out at the facility again. Glad I remembered correctly how many to do - because that was tough! :U

Had a minor confusion about home-bound transit - but that smoothed out pretty quick.

Got home, updated a transportation reservation for next week (tripping over my words because tired), made some business arrangements, gave the ears some TLC, before a small-ish break (with the usual stuff).

I also did the rest of my exercise, kinda late.

First, Day 12 of the PO!C. 240 overhead punches, done in one go. I decided to go for 120/120 today - and oof. Last 20-40 reps on each side did get pretty intense!

Second, Day 12 of the CoSC. 2x40″ calf raise holds. I basically paused 3-10″ between sets. Manageable.

Last, Day 12 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. Since I got a lot of things done today - I felt a bit less fidgety.

-

Aug. 23

I woke up a bit after 11AM.

Did some more arrangements, poked the usual stuff, and did today’s DD (since today’s an active rest day, it’s the only exercise stuff I’m doing). 40 bridges with EC. This was very doable, but it did get more challenging near the end!

I then did some dishes, made some dinner, watched some Devilman Crybaby, while running some maintenance on my computer.

I needed to fix an issue involving my tablet settings- cursor disappearing on me intermittently. Blew a gasket until I figured what happened. Short of it, I think it was problems with Windows Ink.

But given I was frazzled and it was getting late. I didn’t get much else done.

-

Aug. 24

I woke up a bit after 10AM.

One of the first things I got done was today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 40 plank rotations with EC. This was pretty intense, had a few moments where my center was a bit off. But I managed to keep it for the whole duration. :P

Second, Day 13 of the PO!C. 260 punches, done in one go. I hop-switched at every 20 punches. Very fun and doable.

Third, Day 13 of the CoSC. 120 calf raises, split into 2x60. Rested probably ~20” in between. A bit tough, but doable.

Last, Day 13 of the 30DoY. The sequence was alright, I just don’t think my head was properly in the game. Got my cues a bit mixed up and only managed to get in a few seconds for the dancer pose on right foot (non-dominant side) - struggled to get my center stable enough to hold the expression very long today. Ah well, that’s how it is sometimes.

Spent some time with the usual, afterwards, before getting a commission done. Will be posting that when I get the green light.

-

Aug. 25

I woke up a bit before noon.

First, today’s DD. 2′ leg extensions (donkey kicks) with EC. I counted 83 reps by the time was up, and this was a fun exercise to do! :D

Second, Day 14 of the PO!C. 260 overhead punches, done in one go. I alternated with each punch and it did get pretty tough!

Third, Day 14 of the CoSC. 2x50″ calf raise holds. I rested about 10″ and this was pretty breezy still.

Last, Day 14 of the 30DoY. Oof, I had to make a few mods here. I think tiring my arms out from those overheads probably made things more challenging. I did the first upward dog proper - but after that I changed them out for cobras. Both push-up planks were sloppy - had to do the latter on my knees. Might have to do my punches AFTER plank-ish days like this one.

I then spent some time making some final touches/revisions on that commission (which I also just posted.) I did one pass through editing down the footage of me drawing it, too.

Remainder of night was spent on the usual.

-

Aug. 26

I woke up a bit before 11AM.

Did a second and final pass through video editing, before posting that footage today.

I then did my exercises for the day.

First, today’s DD. 1′ bicep extensions with EC. I'm going to count 74 reps, may've done more but unsure if that was an over-count. Anyways - another fun exercise!

Second, Day 15 of the PO!C. 300 punches, done in one go, bounce-switching at every 20.

Third, Day 15 of the CoSC. 130 calf raises, split into 2x65. Was getting to feel that - but it wasn’t too bad.

(After a break and a shower...)

Last, Day 15 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. Not a lot to say about this other than I believe it was pretty calming.

I kinda went to bed a bit later than usual - I felt compelled to share with pops a few history/political things. Glad though, that he was receptive and curious about said subjects (even if we jumped from Iran, to China, to Helen Keller and Woodrow Wilson... of all things.)

-

Aug. 27

I woke up a bit before 7:30AM.

Got to the facility, did the DD right away. 2′ palm strikes with EC. I got in 93 reps in the duration. The only thing that really hampered my pace was using my mp3 player as a timer, but it was no less fun! :D

Group went well enough. And I spent the rest of my time there doing some sketches and socializing (though, I admit I just didn’t get enough sleep and might not have been as great in communicating some stuff).

Once I got home and after I was able to put an order in for a bokken. Katana Week, here I come! (Well, after I’m done with current arrangements and the excitement is real!)

I was also roped into playing some cards. Dad won both games, which fair, since he didn’t win any the last time we played. Pffft!

I then spent a few on the usual, before getting in the rest of my exercise.

First, Day 16 of the PO!C. 300 overhead punches, split into 3x100. Rested ~20″ in between and alternated with each rep. A bit challenging, given my energy levels, but doable!

Second, Day 16 of the CoSC. 2x50″ calf raise holds. Rested only about 10″ again. Still very manageable.

Last, Day 16 of the 30DoY. I liked a good chunk of today’s sequence and felt generally good about my flow between each exercise (I loved the O, boat, and half lord of the fishes poses)! I did however pull a hamstring doing that single leg bridge variation - mostly because I felt to  shift the planted foots position while up. But I took care with the remaining exercises, sneaking a few moments to massage it when I could. I think we’re good!

-

Aug. 28

I woke up around 11AM, today. I got my exercise in pretty early, too.

First, today’s DD. 40 modified scissors with EC. I rather like this version of scissors - feels better in the hips and generally more fun!

Second, Day 17 of the PO!C. 340 punches, in one go, bounce-switching kind of inconsistently due to lack of focus (20-40, I believe.) Nevertheless, a perennial favorite!

Third, Day 17 of the CoSC. 140 calf raises, split into 2x70. Still very manageable work!

Last, Day 17 of the 30DoY. I appreciated that this was a gentler practice, today. I did mod that upward dog into a cobra because I kinda wanted to keep it chill. But all in all - I enjoyed myself a lot! =w=

The only other particularly productive things I got done were cancelling a reservation), doing dishes, and making dinner for the family.

Other than that - yeah. Same old business.

-

Aug. 29

I woke up around the same time as yesterday..

I determined that I would not be able to get to the facility, but did reschedule that appointment. Going to have to figure out my transportation stuff while some forms get dealt with. :/

After much of the usual, I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ elbow clicks with EC. I counted 142 reps for the duration, but after the ~100 mark, elbows stopped being able to consistently make contact. The willpower game was real, but it was still fun!

Second, Day 18 of the PO!C. 340 overhead punches, split into 160+180.

Third, Day 18 of the CoSC. 2x1′ calf raise holds. I only dropped for ~5″ to reset the timer today. Very manageable!

Last, Day 18 of the 30DoY. 10′ meditation. My mind wandered to commission-related stuff. But I did try to stay focused on sensation of breath throughout the session.

I think I’m going to draw today, barring further distractions.

(Okay... I need to actually post this damn thing already.)

[thezodiaczone]

August Forecast for Scorpio

You’re not here to make friends this month, Scorpio—not when you’re on a mission like this. The Sun is making its annual climb through Leo and your ambitious tenth house until August 23, putting you in full #boss mode. While others scamper off on carefree holidays, your steely gaze is trained on a rather specific set of goals, if not one singular target.

Your tunnel vision may be interrupted though because Mercury—the planet of communication, technology and travel—will be retrograde in Leo and this career-driven zone of your chart. Professional plans could get waylaid or delayed since Mercury retrograde can bring red tape and unanticipated curveballs that distract you from your well-crafted agenda. A client could go MIA, or a decision maker might not get you the needed materials in time for you to meet a deadline.

Relax, Scorpio, and go with the flow as best you can, even if you want to scream. Believe it or not, there’s a method to this madness. The crucial plot twist could be revealed around August 11, when a potent Leo solar (new moon) eclipse sweeps through your tenth house and brings an unexpected job offer, a leadership opportunity or a changing of the guard. The tenth house rules men and fathers, so an important guy in your life, possibly your dad, may play a role in this eclipse’s surprising events.

Solar and lunar eclipses occur four to six times a year and shake up business as usual. This is the second-to-last in a series that’s been striking the Leo/Aquarius axis since February 2017, bringing waves of change to your home and career. By now, your living situation, family structure or work life might look wildly different than they did a couple years ago. The grand finale, a total lunar (full moon) eclipse, will land in Leo and your career zone on January 21, 2019. Seeds planted today will reach their peak early next year, then you won’t experience eclipses here again until 2026. That means you might FINALLY settle into a steady career path or put down stable roots soon. Whew!

This year has certainly been one of transformation in all the major areas of your life. Expansive Jupiter has been in Scorpio all year (and will be until November 8), altering everything from your appearance to your self-esteem to your personal passions. And on May 15, changemaker Uranus began a wild eight-year ride through your opposite sign of Taurus, throwing curveballs at your closest relationships. Dynamics have changed with colleagues, romantic partners and your tightest friendships—sometimes without much notice!

On August 7, Uranus will begin its annual five-month retrograde, which could slow down some of the modifications in your partnerships. This may come as a relief, but it’s also possible that an old issue could flare up, creating unsettling energy. Counting on others for consistency will be challenging, and there may be some on-again-off-again activity with certain people.

Domestic drama may also have colored your summer, but that will start to ease off in the second half of the month. Stressful Mars has been retrograde in Aquarius since June 26, ratcheting up the tension in your domestic sector and intensifying your living situation. While Mars will remain retrograde until August 27, it will back out of Aquarius on August 12, lessening the pressure in your personal life. If you’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear about a move, a home sale or a sticky family situation, you could finally get the answers you need. On August 12, Mars will reverse into Capricorn and your communication sector for the remainder of its pivot, so watch those caustic comments, especially since Mercury is also retrograde. You don’t need to spend the rest of your summer repairing a rift because of one snarky remark that was taken the wrong way!

Lightness prevails once again during the last week of the month, when the Sun starts a monthlong visit to Virgo on August 23 and heats up your eleventh house of group activity, teamwork and technology. Step away from all that work stress and let your hair down. A brilliant moment to do that arrives on August 25, when a rare and harmonizing grand trine forms between the Virgo Sun, structured Saturn in your communication house and unconventional Uranus in your relationship sector. This is a golden moment for collaborations and meeting kindred spirits.

Now that Mercury retrograde is in the rearview, you could move powerfully ahead with a partnership, whether business or romantic. And you’ll do it on YOUR terms, as trailblazer Uranus and the bold Sun prompt you to follow your own authentic script rather than copy someone else’s. Solidifying Saturn helps you make things official and ensures that anything you embark on has integrity and the potential for longevity. Since Saturn and Uranus are both retrograde and oriented toward the past, this grand trine goodness could involve someone you’ve known for a long time or a surprisingly rich reunion with an old friend, colleague or even an ex. Maybe the second (or third) time around will be the charm!

The month ends with some well-deserved pleasure as the year’s only Pisces full moon heats up your fifth house of romance, passion and play on August 26. A budding romance could consummate, or you might find the spotlight shining directly on you. A pregnancy, or news of one, is possible with la luna in your fertility sector. You might just be ripe with inspiration: If you’ve been hiding your talents or working behind the scenes on a creative project, this full moon could mark your big debut. Lights, camera, Scorpio!

Love & Romance

Dream lover or just an illusion? On August 6, idealistic Venus enters Libra and your fantasy-laced twelfth house for the first of two trips this year. You may not be dealing with hard-boiled reality with the amorous planet here—not that this is a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s nice to put someone on a pedestal, as long as you can promise not to demonize them if they veer to the other extreme or fail to live up to any idealized standards you’ve set.

For some Scorpios, if you do take an unblinking look at life, you might be forced to acknowledge that a certain relationship is not the fairy tale you’d like it to be, and that to move forward, you will need to deal with a few key issues. If things slow down—or stop altogether—take time to assess the situation clearly, bearing in mind that it might take a while for the truth to come out. While you might not enjoy cleaning the smudges off those rose-colored Ray-Bans, the longevity of a relationship depends on striking the right balance between magic and matter-of-factness.

A good day to hash things out is August 7, the date of a rare, harmonizing Venus-Mars trine in some of the most sensitive parts of your chart. Forget about trying to control things; just keep an open mind and receptive heart. Let your love interest do most of the talking while you practice the art of active listening. Or, just reconnect through touch and allow the loving feelings to flow before you dive into a diatribe. Compassion is the magic ingredient now.

Mars has been retrograde since June 26 in Aquarius and your sentimental fourth house, churning up some strong emotions. You may have experienced intense mood swings or family drama, whether from meddling relatives or a needy and demanding child. Settling into your skin or feeling at home under your own roof has been hard during this stressful phase. On August 1, the red planet will back into Capricorn and your communication corner for the duration of the retrograde (through August 27). While things may simmer down at home, you could still have a short fuse and be argument-prone.

If you’ve been biting your tongue, you won’t be able to hold back from speaking your truth—but stay mindful because you could be extra combative and not the most benevolent person now. Single Scorpios might reconnect with an old friend and feel sexy sparks, but don’t rush into anything. A night or two of passion isn’t worth destroying a longtime bond over.

Key Dates

August 2: Mars-Uranus Square The second of three squares between these volatile planets (the first was May 16; the next is September 18) could send your temper through the roof. Watch for knee-jerk emotional reactions because they can destabilize a relationship and send people running for the hills. If you’re angry or hurt, find a healthy way to express it. Is it time to get serious about commitment…or starting a family? Maybe—but you certainly won’t take well to being backed into any corners today.

Money & Career

It’s a big month for your career, Scorpio, so don’t drift into that summer haze just yet. Opportunity could come knocking, and you don’t want to be asleep in a hammock when it does! The Sun is in Leo and your ambitious tenth house until August 23, and August 11 brings a catalyzing Leo solar eclipse. You might receive an offer out of the blue or have an epiphany about a key area of your career that you want to change. Whether you embark on a new project, scout other options or completely change your line of work, August could recalibrate your professional path.

One thing’s for sure: “Business as usual” won’t cut it anymore. With expansive Jupiter in Scorpio from October 10, 2017, until November 8, 2018, the stars have sent you on a radical reinvention tour this year, and you’ve been discovering new passions and interests. You may find that you simply can’t force yourself to soldier through some part of your job anymore—you’re just D-O-N-E, and there’s no more faking it! But summoning the courage to let go and try something new isn’t easy for most Scorpios, who like a baseline amount of control. You’ve been learning to leap without a parachute or safety net.

All that practice could pay off now as the Leo eclipse delivers an exciting chance to flaunt your expertise or leave a lasting mark on your industry. Rumors are swirling that iconic Scorpio fashion editor Anna Wintour will leave her hallowed post at Vogue after the September issue. The mere suggestion of that possibility has Jupiter and the eclipses’ fingerprints all over it!

But take any big career moves slowly, Scorpio, since mindful Mercury is retrograde in Leo from July 26 to August 19, which could delay decisions and scramble signals, especially at work. Since Mercury retrograde is notorious for foiling technology, back up your data and hold off on any major electronics upgrades until after this cycle. Most astrologers caution against signing contracts during Mercury retrograde because key details can slip past your attention. Even your eagle eye can miss ’em now, Scorpio, so have any binding documents reviewed by an attorney instead of rushing to sign on the dotted line.

Key Dates

August 10: Mercury-Jupiter Square Flattery will get ’em…everywhere? Someone could butter you up today, but watch out! They may have an ulterior motive. With retrograde Mercury butting heads with overconfident Jupiter in your sign, you might be a little too quick on the draw. Ask people to present you with a plan to back up their lofty visions. Check references—and if you’re the one pitching or applying for a job, make sure your social profiles and testimonials reflect your best work!

Love Days: 26, 4 Money Days: 11, 19 Luck Days: 9, 17 Off Days: 1, 6, 15

[hodldrgn-blog]

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What Makes a Good Token? San Francisco Blockchain Week

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