#yet now i find ive grown into a tall child

[forest-fire-witness]

i still feel 12 bc i never really felt 12

[thcorvi]

it's very hard to go around my day as an adult, when I constantly feel like a child playing grown up. how come everyone my age looks and acts like an adult, and I not?

[strangertheories]

Speaking of your S3 point, I feel like just in the way that Will is trying to cling to his childhood to cope with aging and his trauma, Mike is trying to force himself out of his.

will and mike when they first met: i’m not the only one who’s lonely

will and mike in season 1: i’m not the only freak

will and mike in season 2: i’m not the only one who feels crazy

will and mike in season 3: i’m not the only one struggling to survive puberty and figure out who i am if i’m not a kid anymore

will and mike in season 4: i’m not the only one who’s afraid to be honest with people about my feelings

will and mike in season 5: i’m not the only one who’s gay and in love with my best friend???!?

[nicolloyd]

im pretty sure show lloyd and canon lloyd are like two different people but lloyd is slooowwwly turning into fanon lloyd in dr

[sidereus-stars]

First Love/Late Spring............................

[komarita]

yet now i find ive grown into a tall child

[silliestboyever]

I listened to First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski and took the lyrics "I was so young when i behaved 25, yet now i find ive grown into a tall child" way too literally because now my only healthy coping mechanism is age regression

[literallyimthenerdemoji]

trying to peacefully get in my ten reps of 'am i making you feel sick' an additional ten reps of 'i am something' and then like just another ten reps of 'hunger hurts but starving works' and you're interrupting my next ten sets of 'werent we the stars in heaven, werent we the salt in the sea' and then a few extra sets of 'you know its a mistake when its me who's making it' some additional sets of 'and i was so young when i behaved 25, yet now i find ive grown into a tall child' and then just a few sets of 'standing in the yard, dressed like a kid, the house is white and the lawn is dead, lawn is dead, lawn is dead' (plus one more set of 'i always wanted to die clean and pretty, but id be to busy on working days, so i am relieved that the turbulence wasnt forecasted, i couldn't have changed anyway, i am relieved that i left my room tidy, goodbye.' and one more set of 'and i wouldnt have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart' plus a couple sets of 'i look up at the gaps of sunlight, i miss you more than anything' and just a few sets of 'if its meant to be then it will be' in addition to a few quick reps of 'what fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me' and just a tad bit of some 'every inch of me is full of pain, oh you should've come over' and maybe just a little 'swinging by my neck from the family tree' and mayhaps just a smidge of 'i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it')

[libras-interactives]

Do you have any OC’s for Lackadaisy who didn’t make it into the fic or who were made after you started writing? I love hearing about all of them so much

;v; wagh

So 2~3 of these kitties are connected to Devil's Moon characters but probably won't show up (or at least, will only be mentioned), and two arent related to it at all.

Viviana Carmina Holst - Slyvester's wife, who Ive thought so much about but may not even show up "on camera" LOL. A calico with auburn hair she keeps in a fairly old-fashioned style, to match her more modest dress. She's thin and has big, bright green-brown eyes.

She's quite sociable, observant, easygoing and a terrible cardshark. She loves company and doesn't get it nearly as much as she'd like; they live in a modest yet well-decorated home outside St. Louis city limits. Carmina comes from a large Italian family. She was the first of her siblings to be born in America. She's always been known as Carmina to them (there were already three Vivianas in the extended family), and Vivi to her husband.

Because she and Slyvester could not have children, they adopted three nephews after the boys' parents passed (Carmina's side). The boys are now grown and the two oldest are quite successful. The youngest still lives with them to help his mother, as Carmina is disabled and Slyvester works a lot, and they've yet to find a live-in nurse that suits them.

Carmina and Slyvester grew up together in the same Italian-majority neighborhood; his family is Danish and was one of the few non Italians on the block. Carmina's parents approved of him bc he agreed to convert, they knew he wasn't a drinker, and they were relieved their sickly daughter was able to get married and have someone take care of her for the rest of her life.

Flynn's Family - I've thought a lot about them but I don't think they'll be super relevant or come up, alas. His older brother Seamus is fairly important to the business, but rarely makes himself known. He has some pretty bad physical and mental damage from the war, so tends to be anti-social, plus years of Flynn's emotional manipulation have taken their toll. Tomas was the youngest and the golden child, died in the war. Flynn couldn't stand him. Sorcha was older than Tomas but younger than Flynn, I'm still unsure what happened exactly, but she's not around her parents anymore. They didn't really dote on her like they did the boys, or Tomas.

Their mother was tall and slender, while the father was more stout and broad, and a little shorter - only Seamus had his build and coloring, the rest of the children were looked and were built like their mama. All of them had orange and black markings but the Flynn we know is the only chimera.

I keep wanting to think of more for the family - their history, and appearances and whatnot, but then I pull back because it "won't be relevant" in Devil's Moon ... well, might do it anyway bc I just like writing family dynamics and drama, lol. I already wrote a ton about Carmina so might as well.

Okay these two are 100% not UTDM related and from an Arkham Horror board game/kinda tabletop bc we rp'd it a ton. The setting is 1920s anyway, and I forced my friends to play and make lackadaisy OCs (it was my birthday damn it 😂). These two characters rotted a crater in my brain for 2 weeks straight and I still like em a ton. Sister Marguerite was mine and Father Elijah was initially my partner's but I have since stolen him haha.

Sister Marguerite, formerly Adelaide Whitaker. Wheeww... so much to say here but I'll condense it. Originally from a wealthy East Coast family, she was forcefully sent to a "wellness and manners" sort of school for "esteemed ladies" that was really just a ruse to hide her pregnancy. It wasn't a Magdalene asylum/laundry, though. She lost the child, but a handful of nuns showed her such kindness (and she'd had religious-fixated OCD for years that her family actively made worse anyway) that she converted to Catholicism and began the process of becoming a nun once she was old enough. She's happy with her current life, enough that her OCD has lessened somewhat, but ofc there are still bad days. She often fixates on physical purity, baptism and "healing water"; most of her sisters chalk her "peculiarities" up to her extreme devotion and are willing to overlook her bad, spiraling days bc shes v dear to them. She's a good-hearted woman, quiet, and doesn't scare easily. Puts others before herself again and again.

As a cat, she's white with unsettling sectorial heterochromia, big slender ears, and an odd face. Lackadaisy cats are generally pretty cute but she's meant to be more "homely". Her eyes are more unnerving than striking. This is the photo that was the first inspiration for her, though this kitty is very cute, haha. If she were human I think she'd have bright eyes and a very plain face. I've drawn her but my art is pretty oof! I need to keep practicing bc her face and headshape in particular are kinda different.

Actually considered reworking her backstory to be one of Jack's many siblings; he did have a sister who ran off, but thats kinda irrelevant in UTDM rn. If anything itd be mentioned in an epilogue.

Father Elijah - A handsome man from a good Midwestern family. They were disappointed when Elijah joined the church, feeling like he was wasting his potential. He's always felt close to God and wanted to help others, but he's also a deeply scholarly person and loves theology, even if some things he studies would be considered heretical. This doesn't necessarily mean he's open minded, especially to those he considers "irredeemable", but he's always polite, protective of his flock and usually a pretty affable guy.

Elijah certainly has some kind of mental stuff rolling around in his noggin; I don't want to call it disorder or illness, especially since he doesn't really have a name for it at the time period (like Marguerite with her OCD). In the tabletop, they came to Arkham together as allies and quickly became rather ... obsessed with each other. He's very fixated with Marguerite, believing her to be a pinnacle of what a godly person should be, and later believing she can actually speak to angels (or is one??). He wants so much of her attention, to hear her opinions and interpretations of faith. To say he puts her on a pedestal is an understatement. Calling it "romantic" interest isnt the whole picture, and too simple for... whatever the hell he's got going on. Marguerite admires him deeply but in a more "inspired" way. Platonic is also too simple for what she's feeling, but her attachment certainly isn't as deep as his.

As a cat he's an orange tabby with pretty blue eyes. Meant to be a really tall good looking dude, a contrast to Sister Margy. Maaany women in the church have admired him but he's never considered or indulged in feelings like that until Marguerite; he doesn't even consider his appearance much. Just tries to keep tidy. I also terribly drew him real quick for the tabletop. I think his ears should have kind of a cute shape and he's got extra fur around his face :3 Still not sure on what sort of tail he'd have, though.

Shoutout to tabletop!Father Elijah who dual wielded a pistol and giant crucifix on the regular, constantly threw himself into danger to save Margie and slowly became twisted by the dark powers he was trying so hard to stop 👍🏽 One of my favorite scenes was both of them jumping into a portal together, then getting separated bc we rolled poorly and they both got HP/Sanity down to 0. Elijah woke up in the hospital in extreme pain, left without fully restoring HP and ran all the way back to the church to find Marguerite. They held each other at the altar for a while and she gave him her rosary bc he lost his crucifix in the void. and they promised to never leave each other again and stayed attached at the hip in spite of the usual eldritch horrors. normal arkham horror things. I'd love to make Arkham LCG cards for them; theyve already got custom cards for the 2nd edition board game (but now my other fixations and nerdness is showing so ill stop here).

(shoutout to that poor eldritch-corrupted NPC who sister marguerite believed needed a baptism to restore him, so father elijah held the dude down while he almost drowned and margeurte prayed over him and one party member witnessed all this and told the others so EVERYONE avoided "those catholic freaks" for the whole session sdkdskfs)

[erisolkat]

"and i was so young when i behaved 25 yet now i find ive grown into a tall child" is another one for me. bitch you havent even turned 20 yet let alone 25

[kaeyapilled]

I think often about how many different comments Kaeya has made about wanting to be a kid/be taken care of/have others do things for him, and also how much he Absolutely would not let that happen if not by his own design. He has to scheme it! It's emotional vulnerability if he's not scheming it!

oh ough. yeah.

kaeya frequently offers help to the people he cares about - in a very earnest way, most times! thinking more of those voicelines where he tells the traveler that they can always come to him if they need anything, and one of his teapot dialogues that has him once again offering to help however he can - but when it's about him he just has to ask for help in the most convoluted way imaginable so he can trick you into probably not realizing that he is, in fact, Asking For Help. a funny example is his story quest. like what was all that for. (i know he had a whole plan and all and also its early game so they're just teaching you mechanics and introducing you to the antagonists but oh my god. the story about the treasure. the fucking gratuitous pirate roleplay. thats so kaeya. what is wrong with him)

and also. augh. when kaeya is showing the tiniest bit of vulnerability and he has that detached tone of someone who is very cool and carefree about all this. someone who really doesn't care that much. someone who is absolutely cool about it. im thinking mostly of his recent appearance in the 3.5 quest for this one. kaeya when he has to put that big degree of separation between himself and the matter they're discussing otherwise it gets Too Real and Too Much True Emotion slips out through the calm and collected persona.

and also! kaeyas line about wanting to. what was it. age in reverse. be a kid again. i am always thinking of kaeya who was forced to grow much too quickly and now that he is an actual adult he just feels as helpless as he truly did when he was young. if you peel away all his facades, in his core you find a little kid whos all alone under the rain in a place he doesn't know. a little kid who is, most of all, just very scared. something something i was so young when i behaved 25 yet now i find ive grown into a tall child.. etc. but anyway.. this is a bit of a tangent lol can you tell i have a lot of feelings about kaeya and specifically kaeyas relationship to his own childhood

[vividzkitty]

“i was so young when i behaved 25, yet now i find ive grown into a tall child”

[twow]

"i was so young when i behaved 25 yet now i find ive grown into a tall child" is the realest lyric of all time

[doctorwhoisadhd]

im so fucking insane first love / late spring is such a fucking perfect doctorjack song throwing up throwing upppp

sorry i HAVEEEEE to lay out EXACTLY what scenes / lines i relate all the lyrics to so heres that.

the black hole / of the / window / where you sleep: jack in his bed through the manhole (small worlds) + 13 at night in her jail cell (revolution of the daleks)

the night breeze / carries / something sweet / a peach tree: jack hearing the tardis (end of days) + "i've missed that sound" (revolution of the daleks)

wild women don't get the blues / but i find that / lately i've been crying like a / tall child: "i was in prison for being me right at the point when i wasnt sure what that meant" (revolution of the daleks)

so please hurry leave me:

jack realizing that they left him (the parting of the ways)

10 seeing jack running toward the tardis and trying to get away (utopia)

"how long have u known?" "ever since i ran away from you. good luck" (utopia)

10 looking back at jack + jack winking after he gets shot by the dalek (journey's end)

i can't breathe: jack coming back to life 8 billion different times

please don't say you love me:

"it's not easy even just looking at you, jack" (utopia)

"its like when u fancy someone and they dont even know u exist, thats what its like. come on" "you too, huh?" (the sound of drums)

"and three very special people ive missed" "one of them was me, right?" (revolution of the daleks)

jack being weird abt ianto calling them a couple (children of earth)

"if it was going to be anyone, itd be you. but i cant" (legend of the sea devils)

You Know, THAT Scene (children of earth day 4)

"i think i need to do this next bit alone" (power of the doctor)

胸がはち切れそうで (mune ga hachikire-sōde; my chest is about to burst):

8 billion jack deaths

the scene with the hand (day one)

"earth 1892. got in a fight in ellis island. a man shot me thru the heart" (utopia)

9 / 10 about to regenerate (parting of the ways + the stolen earth)

one word from you and i would / jump off of this / ledge i'm on / baby:

various shots of jack on rooftops OR dying for the doctor

"i was much better off as a coward" (the parting of the ways)

"the right kind of doctor" (end of days)

jack keeping 10 from falling into the engines (utopia)

jack jumping off the roof (immortal sins)

didnt somebody fall off a cliff in the timeless children??? that

tell me "don't" / so i can / crawl back in:

jack obeying 10 and not shooting the futurekind (utopia)

the way jack looks at the daleks before he purposefully gets shot by them (journey's end)

just. all the times jack obeys the doctor

and i was so young / when i behaved / twenty five: jack and 9 in series 1

yet now i find / i've grown into / a tall child: jack realizing how to kill the 456 (coe day 5) + something something 13 timeless child etc etc

and i don't wanna go home yet: jack's childhood etc (adam) + 13 putting the pocket watch into the console (the vanquishers)

let me walk to the top of the big night sky: jack using the vortex manipulator to disappear (children of earth day 5)

anyway im SO fucking crazy.

[iphisesque]

wild women don't get the blues but i find that lately ive been crying like a tall child so please hurry leave me i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sode one word from you and i will jump off off this ledge im on baby tell me don't so i can crawl back in and i was so young when i behaved 25 yet now i find ive grown into a tall child and i don't wanna go home yet let me walk to the top of the big night sky please hurry leave me i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sode one word from you and i will jump off off this ledge im on baby tell me don't so i can crawl back in

[mosviqu]

"i was so young when i behaved 25 yet now i find ive grown into a tall child" is still top 10 most shattering lyrics