#yet never treats him like hes broken or like theres something wrong with him he simply Adores him and shows that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hugheshugs · 2 years ago

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okay so— one nommie sent a long dbf!thom thought, i highly suggest you all read it bc its very interesting !! im gonna put it under the cut with my response/thoughts in italics. thank you to whoever sent this in, i love you <3

I feel like if dad!bren ever found out about dbf!thomas and y/n it would be because thom would confront bren about how brendan is never there for y/n, weather its for something that means a lot to her or in a time of need (like when she was stranded in the place she didnt know) but he only confronts him because brendan promised his daughter he'd be there for some event that was important to her.

no yk what, this is so true bc thom just wants the best for her and obviously he can't keep it all in when bren's over there treating her like shit. the fact that bren could have told her he was busy instead of promising her he'd show up then not doing so makes it even worse. she'd be heartbroken because of the broken promise and thom would lose it.

She'd ask her dad if he was coming to this event (think of how like spring concerts are important to kids, like a big moment for her like an art show or something), not really caring if he says no cause shes used to him not being there for her things and her jaw almost drops when he says yeah he is coming so she asks him if hes really coming and he responds to her with i promise.

she'd be so excited too. probably be talking to thom about it for days leading up to the event, and he'd be all smiley seeing her so happy.

The day of her event, shes excited because, for once, hes not revolving his world around hunter, this is about her. Thomas drops her off and says he'll stop by later and how proud he is of her before driving away.

However, when the event starts and as time passes and shes watching for her dad, he's not there and when thomas comes and sees her, her smile getting faker by the second, he immediately is by her side and asking her whats wrong. When she tells him she hasnt seen dad yet and that theres only an hour left, he's irked but maybe, MAYBE, bren will show up. After all, he promised his little girl.

they'd be waiting together for the rest of the night and she'd be trying to contain her tears, waiting for him to show up because he promised. thom would be trying to show her love as best as he could without making it look suspicious to anyone. all he'd wish was that if bren actually wasn't coming, that the event would end soon so he could comfort her.

But when the event comes to an end and theres no brendan in sight, not even to pick her up, he's pissed. Could deck his friend and break his nose and not care pissed, cause here she is, sitting in his passenger seat, spirit completely crushed despite thomas saying how amazing she did but its not the same. She wants to hear it from her dad and thomas knows this.

honestly, yeah, he wouldnt come pick her up. i feel like he doesn't realize how much she actually needs him. he doesn't understand how much she cares for his validation and approval. because you know, thats how he was at her age. he didn't want his parents around all the time because he had his friends, but she was the complete opposite. all she wanted was him, and as much as she appreciates thom's kind words and that he was the one who showed up, he wasn't exactly the person she was looking forward to seeing that night.

So when they get home and brendan is just sitting in the backyard, maybe jotting down things that hunter needs to work a bit harder on, y/n doesnt even bother, just goes upstairs to bed, too exhausted to even say anything to brendan about missing this when he promised her.

she'd be exhausted but she'd also be heartbroken. i feel like he'd spend lots of nights sitting outside doing stuff for hunter, like planning and taking notes like you said, and she really believed he'd skip one night for her. she didn't think it was too much to ask but apparently it was, and it made her heart ache.

But thom isnt (exhausted). Thomas marches right outside and just rips into him about how he's hurting her and not even caring and he cant even come to this one thing that meant the world to her.

like i said before, thom just wants the best for his girl, even if that means possibly ruining his relationship with his best friend. from the start—even though we havent got there yet—he's always been the one to correct bren when he leaves her out of things or says things he maybe shouldn't say to his kid. it pains him that she deserves better, that his best friend is the one that can heal her yet he chooses not to.

But brendan just brushes it off and tells him that this doesnt concern him and that just send thomas completely over the edge, telling brendan that it does because brendan causing y/n's hurt and seeing her hurting is hurting him and when brendan widens his eyes and thomas finally realizes what came out of his mouth and he's trying to think of a way to backteack that and make it seem like its not what it is, brendan is on him in a heartbeat saying how dare he even think about his daughter in that way and now they're both at each others throats.

angry confessions type beat. i have nothing to say bc that was an imagine on its own. loved this last part bestie <3

*ive even thought about Hunter maybe being out with friends and remembering his sister had this huge thing going on and so he drags his friends along because he needs to show his little sister some support even if this event isn't something he's remotely interested in. So the fact that her brother showed up and her dad couldnt even bother despite him promising her, just makes thomas even more mad*

even thoughhh hunter pretends she's a pain in the ass, he loves her. not enough to talk back to their dad about the way he treats her (most of the time), but enough to show up for her. and yeah, it would be one of the rare occasions he does something kind for her so she'd be upset that he could come and their dad couldn't.

thanks for the thought, nommie !! i really appreciate it, and don't be afraid to send in long asks, i love reading them all <3 thanks again, this was such a nice scenario to think about 💗

#chats w riri #nommies <3 #dbf!thomas chat #dbf!thomas thoughts #p.a nommie <3

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milkacchan · 5 years ago

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Request for anon- HC's for Class 1-A with a student native to the American south

Aha as a southerner, babe i got you

• The only reason that you're there is bc you had a connection to allmight. You were the sister of one of his friends from his study abroad in America and you needed help w your quirk.

• You had a strange quirk- it dealt with plants but it seemed to have a spiritual undertone- when you got upset enough and your emotions over took you, you'd go into a state of destruction.

• So obviously, uncle All might was all over it.

• You don't take the entrance exam which was a Bummer bc you wanted too

• Anyway, class A's ???

• You're introduced to class 1-A, All nights smile is wide and you wave shyly.

• You're a fucking phenomenon to them

• Your accent for one affects the way you speak Japanese- it makes it a little hard to understand you but they lowkey adored it

• Ahaha them tutoring you bc you butch so many words in Japanese

• You get accepted into the Bakusquad bc they, Mina specifically, wants to know everything about your state

• Mina will repeat your phrases she heard you say 'If you don start listening, I'm gonna take you behind and whip your tail' on the phone and repeats it during fights.

- 'HA! Kirishima I'm gonna whip your tail'

• You are SO proud

• You spit out pet names like it's no bug deal because that's just how it is in the south

• You call Mina Sugar once, her knees buckled under her and she had to sit down for a moment and just think about life for a sec

• You call people babe without really thinking about it- a habit that you've been trying to break but it's so hard.

• You do it without realizing and whoever it is will go so red in the face jfc

• They like making inside jokes based on how you talk

• Will call eachother 'Darlin' and 'sugar' after hearing you say it when you walk in a room

• You get sent 'care packages' by your brother, which consists of your favorite drinks and snacks that are only sold in the US (Aka cheerwhine ((which is only sold in the south, I've yet to see a cheerwhine in the north rip)) or Sweet tea and junk like that)

• You end up sharing some of it with the Bakusquad

• Not too much bc you live off this

• Kaminari made the mistake of taking a cheerwhine without asking you once

• and you DEMOLISHED him during training the next day

• Never again do they mess with your stuff

• They are HORRIFIED when you pick up a snake on a wood trail during a training exercise, and move it off the path

• 'Why the fuck did you touch it????'

- 'Well I didn't want it to hurt us and I dont want us to hurt it.'

- 'you could've moved it with a stick?'

- 'but it was no big deal picking it up, no problem.'

• They think that the entire south is gun totin, cowboy hat wearing, tan people and you have to explain that you've met some of the dumbest- city folk in the south

- Imagine the confusion when your brother sends you a fucking cowboy hat bruh

• They're SCREAMING with laughter

• You do not live it down

• They notice how you tend to hang around with the other American students and you're always a lot louder and touch with them

• Cue meeting in 1-A bc they think you're not comfortable enough w them

• You are but you dont want to overstep boundaries and do something wrong, you haven't quite grasped the culture yet

• Its not like many of them care, with all the near death experience they all have their own cuddle groups, even the more quiet ones

• You have to reassure them that it's not anything against them- you're just trying not to overstep

• They think its sweet

• Even though you're an honorary member of the Bakusquad, you still have relations with the Deku squad (forbidden I know)

• Bc obviously Deku wants to know everything about you and you're there a lot w him and all might anyway, so besties

• ITS A KNOWN FACT THAT SOUTHERN WOMEN HAVE THE VOICE AND THE LOOK

• Someone starts acting up? You give them the look. They dont take the hint? You use the momma voice and that usually shuts em up.

• You go with Deku and them to get Katsuki when he's kidnapped.

• This man hugs 2 people when no one is looking- after they get back.

• You and Kirishima.

• he won't talk about it though. He's still trying to keep his image.

• Aizawa takes it upon himself to teach you more about Japan when All might can't (after all he is a very busy man)

• He teaches you more about culture, boundaries, food- all that good junk

• The first time he see's you actually flip out is when the LOV attacked the training camp. Your eyes started glowing and he knew then just what All might had been talking about

• It seemed to be a little better- your friends weren't in immediate danger- but the villains in front of you were so lucky. Neither was the land around you.

• It wasnt horrible, seeing as your quirk was literally plants, but there were some broken trees and damaged rock.

• He'll also train with you, focus on breathing and meditation techniques.

• Leads you to get close with Shinsou

• Will you steal his jackets? Yes.

• But he takes some of your snacks (Kaminari feels BETRAYED)

• He'll imitate you just to be a dick

• but in all reality he'll love hearing your voice- especially in your native tongue

• CLASS 1-A WILL HAVE YOU READ TO THEM IN ENGLISH

• Theres something about your voice and your southern accent that makes them feel at ease and they just enjoy hearing you talk in English

• All in all, they treat you like family.

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rickriordanfandam · 4 years ago

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opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below)

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong.

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up. the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more

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missdawnandherdusk · 5 years ago

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So I saw the post where you said send in requests and i havent seen anything negating that, so uh, do you think you could write something (when you have the time and motivation of course please dont feel obligated (unless you want to) ) where people start noticing the way Draco flinches whenever someone makes a sudden movement and then all of the sudden one day he comes back to the castle after holiday and its so much worse and people start kinda trying to help and make his days better?

okay, here we go. And no one can convince me that no one at Hogwarts noticed that Draco was a victim of abuse but since Harry has the attention span of a goldfish, it wasn’t added that and JKR is a terrible person.

Also warning: this does talk about physical emotional and mental abuse. I want you all to know that you NEVER deserve it and never believe that your abuse situation “isn’t that bad.” You are cherished and loved and worthy and valuable.

okay, so the first year wasn’t too bad not that it wasn’t bad but, well Draco was innocent to any other way so he thought it was normal for his father to do what he did

Then things start to dawn on him that maybe no... this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Yet, whenever he asks a question against his father... things don’t end well for him. “But why are muggle-born so bad?” “What’s wrong with the Weasleys?” “Why are you so mean to the house-elves?” It never ends well, so he stops asking but now boy does he have a lot of questions and internal conflict that grows.

back to the point so someone drops a book/cauldron/glass something and Draco jumps and begins to panic “is his father mad? What did he do? How can he do better?” because he’s convinced that his father is on another rampage, but Crabbe just nudges his arm and he’s brought back to the present and that he’s not in trouble or danger

Snape is the first to notice because he knows what to look for in a child that has been abused at home, from personal experience, so he scolds the student who dropped the thing harshly

Our darling Hufflepuffs take note very quickly. In fact, there’s a support group at Hogwarts for kids who come from not so safe homes. Magical abuse or not, it's a group to just come and feel safe and like you’re not alone lead by Sprout and McGonagall

In Herbology with Draco, the Hufflepuff tells Momma Sprout about what they think is going on and boy is Sprout a momma bear looking out for Draco at every turn and looking into any records she can get her hands on

These kids from the support group start to become very worried about Draco because they’ve seen it all before and they hate seeing anyone else go through what they went through

They start to send him anonymous letters so that he’ll get mail in the mornings, and sneak sweets/snacks into his bag when they notice he’s not eating, or volunteer to be his partner in class

Boy is Draco confused

Which means he snaps a lot more and is rude and scared because he doesn’t understand why they’re being so nice to him

Alone is what I have, alone is what protects me

When Buckbeak attacks him, of course, he breaks down into tears because it’s all too familiar and he’s terrified that if he blinks he might open his eyes and it’ll be his father coming at him, not Buckbeak

and maybe he keeps the bandages and brace on longer for more than he needs it because it was a reminder that someone cared for him and mended his wounds and he didn’t have to do it himself

You think he just like Potions? Oh no, he’s had to make his own healing Potions all his life for the sake of keeping up the family appearance.

Luna Lovegood, the precious child sees right through all of it. Easily. And is a lot more confrontational about it than the support group, who did things more on the down-low. She takes all of his ridicule and taunts and snaps and lets him yell at her because she knows he needs to vent to someone

When Hermione pulls her wand out to attack him, sure, he could be a drama queen with all bark and no bite but maybe again it's too familiar and whenever there’s a wand in his face like that it ends with him in pain

That night Luna finds Draco in the Astronomy tower alone and just sits next to him.

He scoffs but after a while asks how can she deal with living alone with her father. She tells him that her father is the kindest person she knows and it finally gets through to Draco that how he grew up was not normal.

Luna tells him about the Support Group and he gets notes here and there as invitations, and maybe he decides to go one night

He’s surprised to see a lot of kids he knows. Luna goes and sits by some of her friends, Neville is there, and quite a few older Slytherins, and the Hufflepuff from his Herbology class who smiles and waves at him.

He realizes that these are all the kids who have been nice to him

He doesn’t share at all during the meeting (it’s sort of like AA where kids just go through and talk about what happens to them, if they’ve grown or made progress, what scared them still. The older kids offer advice and comfort and tissues because everyone cries)

He doesn’t share for a few weeks of meetings that he attends, but he doesn’t feel so hopeless anymore

Maybe now he doesn’t snap so much and maybe he’s not as scared anymore to let people in because he’s not alone and he realizes that everyone has their own inner demons and struggles

Fifth-year is the worst for him. With No Nose back, his father is vicious and ruthless and takes his pain and anger out on Draco.

It’s after easter break that he finally shares. “My... my father...”

Before he can say another word there are arms wrapped around him and hands on his shoulders and soft encouragements and consoles.

“He... he used the cruatious curse on me... and said that if I didn’t do it on someone else that he’d...” And Draco just breaks down into tears because he feels wicked and broken and ashamed.

He cries harder when no one judges him or yells at him or treats him differently. He’s still just Draco to them. The same thing happens when he tells them about the Dark Mark,

When he starts to slip through the cracks, the group vividly helps him like they’ve helped kids before him for generations.

Ravenclaws helped him study and find motivation when he started to fail his classes, Hufflepuffs show him how to have fun and take breaks and self-care, Slytherins are there in the common room on sleepless nights with tea and blankets, Gryffindors are there as a defense squad against anyone who wants to get to Draco and boy do they rip on Harry

But maybe Draco sees in Harry what the others saw in him. A kid who’s very fast with reflexes and has the same sort of anger and defense mechanisms that he did

Draco defends Harry from a Slytherin and Harry is confused and the Slytherin is confused but they back down

Harry just glares and walks away and Draco rolls his eyes and sighs

He sends Harry invitations to the Support Group but the golden boy never shows

When the Death Eaters kidnap Luna, Draco about loses it because Luna was one of the first ones who helped him grow

So he goes down to the dungeon and they still have their own little support group. Luna sees first hand what it’s like to be Draco especially when his father makes Draco use the cruatious curse on her

He cries and begs for Luna’s forgiveness and of course, he has it, she knows he never wanted to hurt anyone

At Hogwarts seventh year, he and the Slytherins who were a part of the support group are now also apart of the rebellion and Draco is livid about the punishments that Snape allows because how dare he allow physical abuse as a punishment and he gets an earful from Draco about it

Snape explains that it’s to keep him safe and Voldemort from suspecting anything and Draco just “I don’t give a damn about me or you! Stop hurting these kids! They’ve done nothing to deserve it!” And he’s in tears

Snape pulls back on his regimen a bit

Of course, Draco lies to his father about not knowing who Harry is. Why would he let his father win when Draco held the cards?

When Draco’s father calls him back to the side of the Death Eaters, he’s about to go because he is still afraid of his father but Luna takes his hand and so does the Hufflepuff from Herbology, and soon there are hands on his shoulders and arms, reminding him that he’s not alone and that he’s not the scared little kid anymore and he stands with Hogwarts

He and Harry eventually have a talk about growing up and the abuse they both suffered and Harry and Draco both grow as people and stop being so childish and put away the grudge and hatred for another

He takes a Slytherin girl under his wing in eighth year who’s two years younger than him and jumping at her own shadow. He brings her into the Support Group and helps her find some courage and self-worth

That girl is Astoria Greengrass

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87@artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @darcypottah @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @atomicwonderlandmentality @okaydraco @the–queen-of-hell @langdonzvoid @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing @tulippings @thestressedprincess @sunflowerxsadnessw @caps-wilsonn @fattycooter @angelotakunerd08 @thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @okaydraco @strawberriesonsummer @ughjjloveme @honeymarvel @gaysludge @cleopatera @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby @shadowsingeraxolotl @peters-legos @quillsareforwriting @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo @wollymalfoy @lilpieceoftoast @monimillion @howdycharlie @gnf847

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 4 years ago

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oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking of replacements fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

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not-so-honorable-honor · 3 years ago

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Trophy Necklace

HOOBOY THIS IS. 2454 words of just Silv going ham on someone, its also when they started their tooth necklace, or rather trophy necklace I should say

TW: Very bloody, very gory, there is death and theres some harassment as well. Stuff with eyeballs and broken bones!!!

To say Silvally knew what happened would be a lie. They didn’t know. It was all a blur to them, it all happened so fast they didn’t have time to process what went down until it well, went down. The last thing they can clearly remember before this happened was them walking, collecting things that they thought were pretty. They were just wandering, waiting for their papa to be done with business, exploring the unknown place. Their stomach growled, telling them to turn back to their papa, but they didn’t listen, the forest was neat and papa was busy! So they continued to trot along the forest grounds.

They hummed as they walked, taking in the pretty forest. They were surrounded by these huge trees, and what were those? They paused and looked over at what they thought was a mushroom. But why was it that big, mushrooms aren’t supposed to get that big! They set their backpack down. The backpack was cowboy themed, and it was a wonder how they fit so many things into the small brown bag.

Mikell at least was always surprised and a little impressed at just how much his child was able to fit into that backpack of theirs. Claire made it for them, for a birthday years ago, and things his younger sister makes usually last pretty damn long. The bag itself was a dusty brown, with lighter brown cowboy hats all over it. It was a relatively small bag, it was made for a child after all. While Mikell never really used it, Claire also made a leash to hook onto the backpack, in case he needed to keep Silv close, considering how much they run off and away all the time.

And Silv wore the thing strangely. Their wings were small enough that they could just slip them through with their arms, instead of wearing the thing on their front like what the others normally do. And that was another thing, no matter how hard Silvally tried, or how hard they worked at flying, they just never could get a hold of it. And they’ve tried so many times to fly, but they just never got the hang of it. Their wings would flap and flap, just like how they've been told and shown, and like how the other kids do it, but they simply just cannot do it. Silvally cannot fly, and they hate that fact.

One of the few perks about not being able to fly is being able to wear backpacks and things on your back, hence why they’re wearing the cowboy bag on their back. But they kept walking, going towards the tree. It was huge, almost as tall as the dark oak trees around them. They smiled, an ear to ear smile and quickly shook off their bag, dropping it beside them without a care. They struggled to take off their gloves, the gloves were thick, and they wore them out because without them on, they tend to hurt not only others, but also themselves.

And they struggled for a few minutes before they decided to just make it work with the gloves on. They approached the mushroom tree thing again and looked up, putting a hand on it. Woah. They took a couple steps back, readying themselves. And once they thought they were ready they started running at the tree, as fast as their little body would take them, and they jumped onto the tree, holding on for dear life. They stopped to look down, the jump got them pretty high up. They smiled again and started to clamber up the tree.

They were about halfway up before they looked down again, pausing when they saw someone. That wasn’t anyone they knew. They stared down at the person, who seemed to be doing something with their bag. Wait a damn minute, that person is stealing! Their eyes widened as they let go of the mushroom tree with their legs, sliding down the tree quickly. Once their feet touched the ground they ran over to the person and to their bag.

“That's mine! Can you give it back please?” They asked, looking up slightly at the person, now having a better look of them. Silv looked up to the person's upper chest, but didn’t look higher than that. The person paused, looking down at them. They raised a brow at the child, scoffing at them. “Please mister? I have lots of things in there I want to show my papa!” They said, trying to jump to grab the bag. The person chuckled and raised it up higher, so they couldn’t before their face fell.

“What exactly? Sticks and rocks? Wow, i’d be so happy if I was your dad to get some fucking sticks.” They said, still glaring down at the small child. Who only smiled and nodded their head quickly. Because their papa would be happy to get sticks and rocks from them. The person rolled their eyes, sighing heavily. “I was being sarcastic. Do you know what that means, or is your little tiny brain not quite comprehending big words yet?” They paused, their smile falling. They weren’t quite frowning but they didn’t understand. Why would someone be upset to get a stick?

“But he will be excited and happy! He loves the things I find and give him!” They exclaimed, trying to defend themselves, but the stranger wouldn’t listen. They only scoffed and rolled their eyes again. Silv started to frown at this, why didn’t the stranger believe them? “He will! I’ll go get him to show you!” They turned around, taking a step away from the stranger, to go get their dad. But the stranger grabbed their arm and yanked them forward again. Their force was enough to rip the glove off their left hand, the piece of fabric going flying. And they stumbled, almost falling on their face because of the force.

“No, you’re going to apologize and explain why you were so rude, child.” The stranger said, setting their backpack down. Silv paused to process what the stranger was saying, but they weren’t rude at all! All they did was ask for their bag back and say they were going to get their papa. How was that rude, they certainly didn’t think it was rude, they were simply stating things that they knew. They frowned, looking down at the ground, trying to see how what they said was rude, because to them, it wasn’t rude. The stranger huffed, grabbing their right arm, and picking them up with it.

At least that's what the stranger tried to do.

They screeched, starting to flail, and the sudden movements plus the grip the stranger had caused their other glove to fall off. Or rather for them to fall down onto their ass, panicked, holding their arm and now missing both their gloves. The man huffed, throwing the glove down and glaring at them. “You little shit. You really think you can treat people like this and get away with it? What the hell is wrong with you.” Silv frowned, still holding their arm as they looked down, they wanted their dad but he was so far right now… The man snapped his fingers in front of their face to get them to look at him. Seeing that he had bent down to their level, they quickly looked away, they didn’t want to deal with eye contact.

It was just too much for them. Their world was spinning.

The man in front of them scoffed again. “Look at me when I speak to you.” They shook their head, their hands moving to hold tug at their hair. They didn’t want to look at the man, he was scary, he hurt them, they wanted nothing to do with him. They wanted to leave, but he wouldn’t let them, and they didn’t know where they would go. The man sighed heavily, before grabbing Silvs arms and tugging them down, forcefully looking directly into their eyes. “Look at someone when they speak, stupid. It's polite.” Their eyes widened, oh no, this was all just so much for them, it was too much all at once.

And they lunged. The rest from there was a blur to them. The only thing that was clear to them was the feeling of their talons sinking into skin. And the screams, those were the other clear things to them. Their claws were no match for soft human flesh, easily slicing through it like it was warm butter. They were screaming as well a loud, powerful angry scream. Their clothes were covered in blood and dirt, but they didn’t care. They just kept slicing, hitting, biting, kicking, and most of all, screaming.

Silvally had the man on the ground, tearing into him like a wild animal tears into their next meal. They just didn’t stop. Not until they saw bones and guts. And even when the man's chest had been ripped open, ribs showing and guts spilling out, the child didn’t stop. Instead they focused on slicing up his intestines until they slipped out of their talons one too many times, simply pissing off the child, so they stopped, going back to his chest.

They looked at his neck, licking their lips slightly, before leaning their head down and taking a bite. They tugged furiously, trying to rip out a sizable chunk from the mans neck. This was when they stopped screaming, only stopping to down a large thick chunk of flesh. They wouldn’t stop until they got a nice rather large chunk of fresh raw human meat. And when they did tear the piece out, they looked up, their rather sharp pointy teeth making quick work of the flesh. They chewed it up and swallowed, pausing when they realized just how hungry they were. There wasn’t much meat left that wasn’t ripped to literal bits. But some of those larger organs… Oh how they looked delectable to Silvally.

Afterall, Silvally always liked the hearts out of all the organs papa gives them.

They shifted how they were sitting on the mans corpse, to get a better grasp on his ribs. They grabbed as many at a time as their talons could hold, and they tugged with all their might, snapping the bones unevenly. But they could care less right now, they were starving. They reached into the chest, grabbing and ripping the lungs out, throwing them off to the side to get to the heart. They grabbed it with their talons, pulling it out and smiling. It was still warm.

They wasted no time shoving the thing in their mouth, well, rather half of it into their mouth. They took a bite and quickly chewed and swallowed. Shoving the other half into their mouth. They chomped and chewed up the piece of meat like it was any other kind of meat. They panted softly as they sat there, they had calmed down a considerable amount by now. They didn’t even realize that they had been crying while doing this, and they still hadn’t realized.

They were covered in blood, absolutely covered. It had soaked into their orange overalls, it soaked into denim, turning their overalls from a nice soft orange to a darker more reddish, almost brown color. Their pastel pink shirt was blood red, it soaked up most of the blood. Their soft peach talons were dripping with blood, it was all the way up to their elbows. Normally they pride themselves on keeping their cowboy boots nice and clean, but as of now, they didn’t care. They were also coated in blood today. One wouldn’t be able to tell that anything the child was wearing was any other color, all someone could see was red.

And oh how it was on their face, all around their mouth, and their teeth coated in it. The blood was slowly dripping from their chin as they dug their talons into what little flesh the man had left, holding onto his shoulders. Claws in his shoulders. They panted, clinging to the corpse with their hands for dear life. Their wings were even coated in red, you could easily mistake them for some sort of tropical bird right now. They were still hungry, and about to pop out and eat the mans eyes.

And that's what they did. They let go off his shoulders, reaching their talons into his eyes, and stabbing them, pulling the eyeball out of his head, and cutting the optic nerve with their other hand and popping the eye into their mouth as if it was a grape. They then did the same thing to the other eye, taking their sweet time to not damage the eye more than they already had. They were looking around for where they threw the lungs before they heard a noise. Something was here. Or at least close to them.

Silvally froze, hearing a twig snap as their head spun around to look at what made the noise. They prayed it wasn't their papa. Not realizing that he probably heard their scream. Only it was him, it was Mikell, standing there, axe out. Yeah, he heard them. He looked around before his eyes landed on them, his gaze softening. He put away his axe, pausing to take in the situation. Babies first kill.

Mikell paused, chuckling softly before shaking his head. He smiled gently at Silv, causing them to sigh in relief, he wasn’t mad! “You hungry kid?” He gestured at the corpse. They shook their head before their stomach growled. Giving them away. Mikell shook his head and leaned down to pick up their gloves, grabbing their bag and putting them in there.

Silvally slowly got off the corpse, shaking off the blood. At least they shook off as much as they could. Mikell shook his head, holding onto the backpack. “Let's go home.” he said, starting to walk. But they paused, looking back to the body.

“Wait papa, I have one last thing that I want to do to him.” Mikell paused, and then shrugged. Giving them the okay to do what they wanted. And when they had that okay they went back to the body, opening the mouth and ripping out the canine teeth. They smiled ear to ear, holding their trophy in their talons. Mikell shook his head, a faint smile on his face. He was proud. A proud papa. And once they had the teeth they hopped up and ran over to him, holding onto his hand with their free hand.

No one ever found Aarons body, no one knew what happened to him, the only people that know are Silvally and Mikell.

#silvally bright #tw// blood #tw// gore #tw// harassment #tw// death #tw// eye trauma #tw// broken bones

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 5 years ago

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Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost

"There are a few groups that aren't aware of each other's existence. (Architechs, NHO, Convex, ect.) The NHO are made up of all men from millitaries across the globe. Cleo isn't a zombie either, she is a zombie whisperer. She can communicate slightly with zombies and they aren't usually negotiable."

(Paraphrased,) from @creator0fchaos' Zombie Apocalypse AU entry for The Follower Input AU.

Headcanons to start us off:

-Convex were two men from a small buisness. Jellie is also around but she's injured and is mostly carried around by Scar.

-Etho got bit pretty early on and everyone in the NHO knows they're gonna have to do something about it but they're putting it off. Etho seems fine.

-Bdubs is slowly going completely feral. (Possible reference to season 5's jungle feral?) DocM joked he had rabies and the two got into a fight.

-Iskall lost his eye after Mumbo accidentally slashed him with a knife while trying to protect Grian from a hoarde. Iskall ended up getting lumped in with the Architech group because Mumbo feels super guilty about it.

-Xisuma and Keralis came into contact with the NHO for a bit. Keralis and Bdubs nearly became friends but Beef and Doc scared em away. Angst.

-The zombies fear False.

-XB originally planned to just stay in his house and not go out. He was prepared, okay? He had tinned food to last him at least a decade, zombie proof armour and god knows what else supplies. His friend, Hypnotizd, is fleeing to there because he knows XB knows what he's doing.

-Wels wears armour because it's the best he had. Same with Biffa and Xisuma. In this AU, they probably wouldn't be wearing armour if not given the circumstances.

-Jevin has turned this into a game to kill as many zombies as possible.

-Impulse, Tango and Zedaph are all just having a good time trying to survive in the woods. Their main goal is to open a tin of beans Zed has but they don't have a tin opener.

-Rendog found a tin of dog food while scavenging. He was hungry and ate it. He now has an addiction to tinned dog food.

-Wels wears medieval armour in the zombie au because at one point he was trapped in a museum by a horde and like, the armour was technically there. On display. No one was using it.

-Etho wears the mask as kind of a mental reminder not to bite his friends.

-Joe and Stress are hanging with Cleo and even if the small group isn’t the best equipped or prepared, they have thrived thanks to Cleo’s ability to whisper to zombies. It might not stop the zombies but it buys the group time to escape.

–Zombie!Etho is hiding the fact that he’s turning, if not already turned into a zombie, from the rest of the NHO because he loves being with his friends. The problem is that it’s getting harder every day to control himself and he’s constantly fighting between telling the rest of them about it, and having them put him out of his misery to keep them safe, or just keep hiding it, afraid that one day it’ll be too late he won’t be able to control himself and bite them all.

-Someone gets like a really bad case of the flu, this is problem because usually survivors have to stay in the move consistently to survive and that’s hard when someone is really sick, it also bad because all pharmacies have been raided and there’s no medicine.

-Grian originally came from Sam and Taurtis's group but due to Sam's insanity, Grian pulls away and went surviving on his own. That when Mumbo came to photo and knowing that he won't survive the zombie wasteland alone, Grian took it as his task to convince Mumbo make a partnership with him.

-Joe was playing D&D when the outbreak started, and Cleo was in his group. They treat it as a game sometimes, though they toned it down a bit when Stress joined because she was still grieving Iskall. Stress makes them stay around where she lost Iskall, but Joe and Cleo don't mind because she has a base set up there.

-For no fault of his own, the nHo crumbles while doc is in control. They had been losing members for a while but when beef, Bdubs, etho, and doc part ways it’s the draw the broke the camels back, so doc is the only one left of the nho, the rest of them, having either left or died. Doc blames himself for everything going so wrong.

-For the zombie AU because nobody's representing my boy X: Xisuma is known as a master at evading the zombies (he can fight them well if needed but he is best at avoiding incidents altogether). He claims to wear the mask for practical reasons, but what the others don't know is that it hides how terrified he is. He hides his fear because he doesn't want people to lose confidence in him, but getting turned and losing control of his mind is his worst nightmare.

-TFC’s gone for a bunker theme for s6+s7, so maybe, he finds a nHo member, and just drags them down into his bunker, probably chewing them out for walking around alone?

-For the zombie au is ethos mask like a medical one, or was he in a kakashi cosplay for some reason and kept it because all the pockets were practical and then started wearing the mask because he got infected.

-After Stress and Iskall reunite, Joe and Cleo join the Architechs. False joins them after seeing Cleo whisper to the zombies and realizing that the group severely lacks fighters. I need the hermits to (at least mostly) get together!

-TFC is obviously a disaster prepper who has a fully furnished bunker that can house a lot of people. He has been broadcasting this to other survivors using a radio. Unfortunately, he lives in the middle of nowhere and it is a trek to get there, but the Vault (as he calls it) is self-sustaining. (I know this is obvious, but nobody has done anything with TFC yet, and that's a shame)

-Even though he’s scared about not being alert enough to protect his team, Xisuma hides his sickness, which is easy with the helmet, because he’s the leader and he can’t be weak. Due to the pain of the flu and the heat of fever staying trapped inside his helmeted eventually falls to his knees and breaks down.

-Mumbo is wearing a suit because he was on his way to a job interview when the outbreak started, he just never bothered to change clothes.

-Etho used to love making up little tunes, and that hasn't changed since he was bitten. Nevertheless, the others in his group haven't heard him make music since. He blames a lack of instruments because of being on the run from zombies. The morning after he left, though, they find an old recorder where his sleeping bag was, and once they hit play they're greeted with songs in a familiar style, backed by improvised instruments.

Even without saying anything they *know* what had happened, and the recorder is taken along on their journey to a safe haven. Sometimes, when the feeling of missing their friend gets too much, they put on the music in the evening and just allow themselves to cry.

-Well, i was thinking maybe stress was a loner, but like, not completely alone, she was with someone else, probably Cleo or Iskall, but they got bit, she felt too bad to kill them so she wanders around with a zombie friend on a madeup leash, sorry if it sounds sad but i like angst and it seemed like a good headcanon -🐿️

-TFC is the one to get to Beef and break down the wall he had built up after a while of wandering alone after breaking off from the nHo. He finds Beef fighting a group of zombies and after observing how violently Beef was hacking down the zombies, TFC did not see a hardened fighter, but a broken man and went to talk with him.

-Alternate timeline idea when grian was still traveling with Sam and tortoise. Sam end up doing something that results in grian and tortoise getting bitten, because of that Sam leaves them. Now grian is not a normal zombie he doesn’t crave human flesh but rabbit flesh because he’s so hell-bent on getting revenge for what Sam did to him and tortoise, tortoise ends up tagging along. Cleo ends up finding them and discover their not normal zombies and inviting them to stay with her group.

-For the zombie apocalypse AU, RE: Cleo and Joe's DND game - imagine them going into a fight and just screaming "ROLL INITIATIVE!"

-Ok but imagine if like that one anon said, grian was already a zombie but like, one that only wants animals. I imagine they could probably get him to behave normally and imagine the mumbo turning angst but grian is already a zombie and just helps him not loose himself.

-For the Zombie Au, instead of killing Mumbo before he turns, the group locks him in a room and leave him there in hopes that they can bring him back once theres a cure. Whether or not, Mumbo wants to be saved is up to you. If Cleo's still in the group then you could have her "talk" to Zombie Mumbo for bonus angst.

-After finding out that Etho's still out there, Beef becomes more determined than ever to help find a cure. In the bunker he often ends up buzzing around Scar and Cub, desperate for something to do to help. It can get a bit awkward but they understand he's just desperate to see his friend again and are usually able to provide small tasks to help him keep his mind busy (with something other than worrying for Etho) while they continue working toward a cure.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-Vintagebeef was the first to notice something was off about Etho. He asked Etho about it but Etho assured him he was fine. Beef asked, 'what if you spread it to the other people in group?' Etho claimed that 'if it was contagious without physical contact, everyone would have caught it by now.'

-Speaking of Vintage Beef, he feels the most lonely and hopeless out of all the NHO members. Etho is probably gonna die from being a zombie soon. Bdubs and Doc are always at each other's throats and Beef fears one of them may accidentally kill the other. He's terrified that he may be the only one left.

-Hypnotizd is the most likely to be bit next. Dude’s running to XB’s house basically defenseless until he gets there, we have no clue how far he has to travel.

(-@tomcatacaphe.)

-You could very easily bring s5 nho angst into this au... Etho leaves to protect his friends from himself, Beef leaves because he can't bare to see his friends fight so much, Bdubs and Doc get in a fight and Bdubs storms off, and Doc is left to try and lead the nho by himself (since you said it's a kind of paramilitary thing here). Ouch.

-Knowing Mumbo's love for bunkers and the dragon bro bunker from s6, the architechs have probably settled somewhere underground to have a somewhat normal life. And, given the combined tech prowess of Iskall and Mumbo, they could easily rig up defence systems to help.

-in regards to that ask about X getting ill, maybe that's where Keralis joins him! He's totally the type to stay with you when sick! :D

-Continuing from that anon, if I may. So far we have Griam, Mumbo, Iskall, Stress, Joe, Cleo, and False all living together... The chaos xD ! You could even bring in hermit challenges as smth they make to, y'know, lighten the mood :D

(-@rebloging-extravaganza.)

-OOF I never thought about Taurtis wandering alone but that's sad. Iskall was also originally with Stress. They are wandering together until a snow storm separates them. Iskall finds Mumbo and Grian and then Mumbo thought he was a zombie cause this man just came out of nowhere. Grian and Mumbo took him in. When Iskall came back to the place where him and Stress gets separated, they saw each other again. What's the first thing he did? He hugged the hell outta her.

-Stress was tired cause the next thing she knew after the storm is that she’s alone. So, she thought for the worst, she thought Iskall was dead. She made a small shelter in the place, tamed a lot of dogs and even made a gravestone for Iskall.

When Stress saw him, her first thought was to get the weapon from the sheath and attack but Iskall started talking. The next thing she knew was she is crying and hugging him tight.

(-@penumbra-rui.)

-After Beef leaves the nHo, he becomes quite a loner. He gets a nickname from other groups even though they don’t know who he is: the Butcher. He gets the name because when groups are being seized down by dozens of zombies, Beef comes in and kills the zombies - every single one - with only his token bloodied apron left behind, waving on a stick. He has hundreds of those aprons and is never seen killing the zombies by the besieged groups.

-When Impulse runs away, he runs into BDubs while in a run down brick building with part of it having been blown up in what looks like a plane bomb. The building seems to have been a local demolition business known simply as ‘Boomers.’

-Before the apocalypse began, Scar was an upper level agent of the FBI tasked with protecting top level cancer researchers across the United States. One of those top cancer researchers was patient 0 and was the original discoverer of the zombie infection (patient 0 was not a Hermit). However, Scar believes it’s his fault for not having intervened when he could have. It’s now his mission to find a way to fix it. He comes across business mogul Cub, who may have the funds to help.

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618407386827423744/hypno-has-been-living-with-xb-for-the-last-two XB and Hypno meet: A post too long to copy paste here.

(-@creator0fchaos.)

-After Tango explodes the beans Impulse claims he’s leaving. Z and T think he just kidding but when they wake up the next morning Inpulse is gone. Now Zed and Tango are on a mission to find impulse while also terrified that he’s been bit.

-Continuation of the impulse leaves thing, tango and Zed find and save him just in time. They all reunite and are happy. The problem is that Zed was bit in the process, for now he’s binding it, because tango and impulse were so happy to be reunited and zed didn’t want to ruin it.

-Zed never ends up telling his friends that he was bit, the figure out themselves a few days after it happens. At first they’re mad that zed hid it from them, telling him how he could have turned and hurt them. But a minute late they break down in tears realizing what the bit means for them all. They will discuss what to do in the morning but for now they will grieve.

-Even more of the zit story: In the morning they decide to keep zed around until he really starts turning, they will then kill him so he’s not a zombie, zed protests this wanting them to kill him now, fearing for the other’s safety, but he’s actually really happy to have a bit longer with his friends. Impulse feels guilty because this never would have happened if he hadn’t left, tango also feels guilty because if he never exploded the beans, then impulse wouldn’t have left and zed would be fine.

(-@lookitsspacekween.)

-Xisuma is known as a master at evading the zombies (he can fight them well if needed but he is best at avoiding incidents altogether). He claims to wear the mask for practical reasons, but what the others don't know is that it hides how terrified he is. He hides his fear because he doesn't want people to lose confidence in him, but getting turned and losing control of his mind is his worst nightmare.

-Xisuma could be that person who gets the flu from an earlier submission! It would really scare him because of not being as alert or functional to avoid the zombies. I feel like he doesn't have a set group of people he stays with, so someone would probably find him holed up somewhere with a bad fever and decide to stay with him.

-If Mumbo ever gets bitten his zombie form is his cursed skin from after he sold his bits, it NEEDS to be lol.

-I came here to post immune!Rendog only to find that someone already did! Anyway, Ren is immune, which is good because the man gets bitten A LOT (the diggity dawg is not the best fighter). I feel like he gets lost and comes across the NHO base, and Doc won't let him in at first because he's covered in bites. He probably puts him in a containment cell out of typical Doc paranoia but eventually figures it out.

-Doc tried his hardest to be distant with Ren (because he thought he was going to turn/die soon and didn't want to get attached) but Ren just asks questions and talks 24/7 until Doc gives in and talks to him out of loneliness. Doc probably keeps him in containment for a really long time, first for fear of him turning and then because he's afraid Ren will leave (like everyone else left him.)

-Ren is very calm and cheery through the whole containment thing because he FULLY believes this is all a dream. Like, okay, this German robot man says I'm going to die in a week? Cool! Have to remember to write this one down when I wake up. Doc cannot convince him otherwise and it frustrates him to no end (when he does realize it's real though he's going to have a full breakdown.)

-Mumbo focuses in way too hard when he's working and blocks out everything else. If he gets bitten it will be because he was too absorbed in a redstone project and forgot to check his surroundings.

-When Mumbo gets bitten, Grian makes it his duty to comfort him and keep him calm until the end. Iskall, however, is overcome by guilt. He had been out for supplies when it happened; usually it was his job to watch Mumbo's back while he worked, alternating between fighting zombies and giving jokingly snarky commentary on Mumbo's redstone. He definitely blames himself and won't let the others out of his sight afterward.

-A break from angst! Zombie whisperer!Cleo's talents work by communicating with the infection in the zombies' bodies. Immune!Rendog has the infection, it just doesn't affect him in a dangerous way. Therefore, Cleo is now a Ren whisperer. Hilarity ensues.

-Once Xisuma starts feeling a bit better, he organizes his group to dig underground tunnels for people to travel with less chance of zombie attack (construction Keralis is a big help!) The leadership comes naturally to him, and the hard work is a good way of building up his strength again. Working late into the night on the tunnels is also the perfect excuse not to sleep....

-(post-cure). It takes several weeks, but Doc finally manages to find Etho. When he receives the cure his first words are "Thank you" and "I'm so sorry" (like a true Canadian). While his mind is returned to him, some parts of his body are too decayed to be salvaged, but that's no obstacle for Doc. He builds custom cybernetics and eagerly welcomes his old friend back to the land of the living.

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-Mumbo, being really good with redstone, obviously has anti-zombie weapons he made himself. One day he goes out scavenging to find Grian fighting zombies armed with only a large hunting knife, a sledgehammer (probably from whatever build he was working on at the time of the outbreak), and his tiny gremlin speed and agility. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-One of the Hermits (up to you which one) is somehow immune to the zombie virus. The catch: they don't know until they get bit. Them and the rest of their group is scared and prepares to kill them when the transformation is complete, but it never happens. The scientist of their group does a couple of tests and discovers their immunity!

-I was thinking about it for a bit, and I doesn’t seem like there’s been much done with Ren... (besides eating dog food lol)

-Happy ending time 'cause I can't stand seeing them all turn! Once Doc realizes Ren is immune, they venture out trying to find another group to create a cure. After gathering some/most of the other Hermits, they come across Scar, and they work on and create a cure/vaccine. The rest of the Hermits take it, and maybe they're even able to cure Etho and the other zombified Hermits! (Sorry if this is too cheesy/happy; I just want everything to be okay, y'know?)

-All everyone speaks of are the physical changes, but one must set the record straight: No matter how horrifying the outward changes are, the mental and emotional ones are far worse. Your friend’s behavior will take a turn for the worse. They’ll become more aggressive, more impulsive, less cautious. They’ll start fights for a laugh, they’ll yell and thrash and scream at the mildest inconvenience, their mind will devolve and fade away. By the time you must say your goodbyes, they will no longer be the friend you knew. They will be childish, angry, insane, and horrible in every way. Even if they fight the illness and outer changes, their behavior will still be impacted and subject to change.

Be wary of this if you choose to let your friend live, and prepare not only your body, but your mind, for the worst.

-Patient Zero could be GenerikB.

(-@12u3ie.)

-I feel like team ZIT keeps putting off taking care of Impulse. Like Etho, Impulse just keeps fighting the changes. They all expect him to wither away, fall down and die one day, isn't that how it always goes?, but that's not how the infection works. They don't get sicker and weaker, in fact most of the people who die from one bite actually die from gangrene and/or septic shock. (Human mouths are GROSS.) But our boys don't know this. They've taken good care of his bite, even if it felt pointless at first, and avoided infection, and as a result he's physically completely healed now. So they end up never NEEDING to kill Impulse, but at what cost? He's constantly anxious about losing control. He can barely even sleep, what if it makes him sleepwalk and he bites his friends then? Tango and Zedaph see him changing still. They see his skin getting pale and dull, his eyes growing hollow, even see he's losing a lot of weight, but they put it up to his sleeplessness, to how they have to remind him, almost force him to eat real food. What sort of life does Impulse really have now? Is it really better to just end it? (What if he and Etho meet?)

Sorry, I've just seen the way this subversion of the Zombie Bite = Zombie Dead trope is going with Etho, and I HAD to get bitten!Impulse in on it as well. Now I can't stop thinking about exactly how this virus works, so I'm gonna hit post before I get WAY too into it and make a text wall.

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618456845293633536/the-first-thing-you-notice-is-the-bite-it-stings How the virus works. (Tw gore, worms.)

(-@basaltdragon.)

-Bdubs definitely slept through the beginning of the apocalypse and had no idea what was going on for a while. He just kept doing his normal thing until someone told him what was happening. (-@miss-oleum.)

-I saw a post that mentioned Taurtis in the zombie apocalypse au, so I think this idea would be cool? I think from context clues Etho and Beef are kinda traveling together, but what if they run into Pause! Pause is super stoked to finally be around people in this mess (Team Canada, no less!!) but the dread kicks in when he notices the look in Etho's eyes, and how much paler he is than usual. Maybe he even notices the signs before Beef (who prolly def. noticed but is in severe denial about it). (-@853dragons.)

-https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618477192694939648/you-know-what-im-just-going-to-add-my-2-cents-on

-To the surprise (and delight) of everyone in the Bunker, Beef is a deasent Redstoner. He's still a bit rusty at it tho. But he Knows how to work around those dust if he put his mind it. And after the... Insident with Mumbo, they need all the help they can get with the Redstone. And the first time he fix a redstone contraption on his own he said to his spectators (any Hermit of your choice), "What? You thought I was all Beef but no Brains?"

(-@tearosepedall.)

And now, Writing!

-It's the hunger that's the worst. Gnawing and ever-present, no matter what he eats, he can't escape the emptiness that's settled into his stomach. Etho stares dully down at the can someone - probably Beef - had pushed into his hands, before spearing a handful of syrupy fruit and swallowing it. It does little to satiate the hunger crawling through his every being. And why would it? It's not fruit he's hungry for anymore. (Anon.)

-Fear curls around him like an unwanted friend, a fiend of mist and smoke that blankets his nerves and quickens his heart. He stares dully at the scene before him, at the massacre his group had just barely avoided, as an awful storm of what-ifs swirl through his mind. His hands shake. "X?" Someone asks, "Are you okay?" Xisuma sucks in a deep breath, curls his hands into fists, and turns towards Keralis. "I'm fine," he lies. (Anon.)

-"Hello there. If you are listening to this, we are gone and long forgotten. This base of ours is yours to use now. I'm sure there'll still be some supplies and cans of food left-" "Not if I eat them first!" "Gr- Grian! I'm recording!" "I know that, you spoon." Grian took a few steps forward and stuck his face up to the camera lens. "Hi there!" "Grian! This is serious work." "C'mon, we're always serious! What's wrong with a little bit of fun during the zombie apocalypse?" (12u3ie.)

-(Biffa's POV) I met Xisuma a couple weeks ago. He saved my life, and I joined his crew. We're good friends now, and I hope he trusts me. It just seems like there's something off about him, but not in a zombie way. The way he hesitates before saying he's fine, how his eyes widen for just a moment before battle... the way he mumbles in his sleep about an evil counterpart... (12u3ie.)

-Hands corral him, pushing him forward. Mumbo twists and writhes, trying to escape from the iron grip pulling him forward. Where his tongue still capable of forming complex sounds, he would be protesting vehemently. Nowadays, words are harder to come by, too clunky and heavy for his tongue to try. As it is, he can barely even manage the word no. 'I don't want this!' He screams, but only Cleo spares him a glance. Her eyes shine, wet with tears and pity that turns his stomach.

"We'll find a cure," Someone else promises. From a haze of shattered memories, a face forms. It takes another moment for him to remember a name. Grian. His voice is flat, toneless, but edged with iron and a promise. With one final pull, he's dragged into the windowless room, lined with lockers and benches. Mumbo's breath rattles heavily in his chest, as the iron door swings shut behind him. "I'm so sorry." Whispers seep through the thin walls. "I can't believe he bit Ren." (Anon.)

More to be added!

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better-every-day · 3 years ago

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An Addiction

What is the best thing to do right now? Stop talking to each other to help us both move on? Keep showing him that I can be the girl he wants me to be because I want that too? I don't know if there is a right answer....but either one, I hope one day it leads back to him.

I don't know what is right. All I know is that i’m having a really hard time letting him go. The moment I first saw him was something i’ve never experienced with anyone else. Any instant attraction. An instant want. Beyond just sexual. He had something inside him that made him the most desirable person in the world to me. I still think he is. When people ask who my celebrity crush is and all that, I have a hard time coming up with an answer because nobody beats him. I dare you to try and find that in someone. Just TRY.

We have our ups and downs in our relationships, that is for sure. The lows can be low but the highs are so fucking high that I'm in space. He brings out a side of me that I never knew I had. A passionate, goal driven side that becomes selfish sometimes. I get lost in trying to become what I want to become or achieve the goal that I forget to acknowledge the person who helped me see it clearly and push me to be my best self.

No one knows that its like to have our love. I see my friends love and its nothing. Nothing compared to what we have. Its intense yet friendly, passionate yet dreamingly secure. I would die for him. He would die for me. We would hinder ourselves to make the other better because we know it would be worth it in the end. Just as long as we don't lose sight of who we are as individuals. This is where I didn't do my part. I took him for granted and got so used to making myself better that I forgot about his needs and wants on the way. I became selfish.

Now that he's gone, I see things clearly. I see how I should have treated him and how he deserves all the praise in the world. I wish I had shown him more how truly loved and appreciated he was by me. But that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. It has to be fixable. This love is rare, I can feel it. He warms my body to my core when I’m with him and when we fight, I turn ice cold. I get a lump in my throat, my stomach feels like its tied into a thousand knots. I feel like I'm going to throw up. But when I'm with, theres not a feeling int he world that could trump it. I feel invincible with him by my side. I want him to feel that too. I can fix that.

This weekend Casey used the word “toxic” to describe my relationship based on the way that we still talk even when we are broken up. That made my blood boil. I lashed out. I told her she had no idea about my relationship and what it entails and maybe one day she will be lucky enough to feel an ounce of what ive felt with boson. I doubt it. I doubt a lot of people will. Anyone really.

Have you ever met someone who totally changed your life? Just came in and flipped it upside down? That was boson for me. In the best way possible. I love his motivation, his innate desire to be BETTER. Its addicting to be around and I am completely addicted to him. He makes me feel incredibly loved, seen, heard, and everything in-between. I know people always say after a break up that they won't find another guy like this one (usually they are wrong) but I seriously doubt I will meet anyone like him again. That instant connection, instant desire to want to learn to be more like him. If you don't admire the person you love most then whats the point? Find someone you want to be like and STRIVE to let go of your ego and admit you like qualities in other people. He taught me that. He’s taught me most of my core valuable in life thus far.

But the reality is, I need to show him how loved and admired he really is. How many sacrifices can be made for him. How he always comes first, no matter what. Not other peoples opinion, not obligations, not other peoples feelings, but him. When we spoke the other night on the phone, it was like the first time. If space can give us that back then that's what we need to do. I need him, and I’ll do anything for him. Even if that means losing him for some time. But I know our love and I'm confident we will find each other again. I know it, this is too special to let go.

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dobrikswriting · 5 years ago

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Broken

Request: Request: Can you write an image about David where the reader and him used to date but it ended badly, so the reader goes home (somewhere far like on the east coast) and tries getting over him. Because their relationship was public, her friends turn on her, so the reader tries to kill themselves and David finds out. Something soft and edgy

Keep the requests coming :)

TW: Suicide

"I don't think I can do this anymore." I said finally after about an hour of arguing. I don't even remember what started the fight but lately it seemed like we didn't need a reason to start going at each others throat.

"So you're just done with us then?" David said rolling his eyes. "Just giving up. That's so like you y/n" He scoffed.

"What are you talking about David?!" I shouted back, anger had worn off and I was just tired and drained and hurt. "I'm not giving up I am holding on to you for dear life but you can't be bothered to make any time for me at all. What am I even giving up on there isn't even a relationship here anymore all you care is about is your vlogs and your friends." I said tears starting to well up in my eyes as I looked at the man that once held all the happiness in my life. I loved him. But I was tired of feeling like I was the only one putting work into the relationship.

"Whatever it's my job do you like living the way you do?" He said not even looking in my direction. "I think you're right lets just end this." He said, no emotion in his voice as he got up from the couch we were sitting on and leaving to his room shutting the door behind him. I sat on the couch for a couple minutes. There was a part of me that was happy to be done with the fighting and almost optimistic of what the future could hold without having the pressure of the fans and the public. But most of me was sad. I don't know how we let it get to this point, we used to be the best couple. We used to make time for each other and we used to clear our days just to see one another. Now I was lucky if I got an hour alone with him once a week. I picked up my bag and walked out of the once familiar house that now just held a lot of memories I no longer wanted to remember. Not even the good ones. My heart ached and I just wanted to forget David all together.

-- 2 weeks later --

I unloaded the last box from my dads truck, setting it down and looking at the small apartment and thinking of ways I could make it feel more like home. "I'm glad to have you home sweetheart." My dad said pulling me in for a hug and kissing me on my forehead. I looked up at him and I know he could see the hurt inside me. That man has known me like the back of his hand all 22 years I've been alive. "I know it's hard right now but remember who you are. You don't need anyone to you special. You do that all on your own. Be young and have fun." He said pulling me closer before letting me go. "I gotta get back home but let me know if theres anything I can do for you. We'll do dinner tonight okay? I love you"

"Okay I love you too Dad." I replied and giving him the most convincing smile I could before he left me and I could drop the act.

Once I was alone I sat down on the floor looking around at the apartment. It was small but it would do. I never thought I'd have to move back to New York. I never thought I'd have to live alone or be alone again, but here I was and I was so truly alone. After the break up I thought I would get a clean cut from life and get a new start. That was far from the truth. When David and Liza broke up they did it in the perfect way where no one was at fault and this is what was best for them both, but for David and I it was a completely different story. I was just gone, and not mentioned except to be the butt of some jokes. No one tried to make it seem like it was mutual or that we both did things wrong. No one out right said I was a bad person but the second we broke up the fans ate it up and ran with it. Everyone thought I was this monster and of course thought that i treated David horribly or cheated or something. It wasn't even worth it to stand up for myself.

I had thought moving home would help to be around people that knew me before David people that were MY friends. But when I made the decision to leave LA I texted a couple people I thought would be happy and I either got no reply or a half hearted one. Its sucked being the less liked person out of a break up.

I stood up not wanting to think about it anymore and started on the unpacking. While I was doing that I texted a couple friends hoping we could get together and have drinks since I got back. I unpacked for about another hour before going to check my phone thinking I would have a couple replies but there was nothing. I sighed and laid down on my bed, as I watched the ceiling fan move in circles and thinking about what I was going to do I saw my phone light up out of the corner of my eyes, I perked up hoping it was a text.

"New Video From David Dobrik" The youtube notification read. I hadn't turned them off yet. Something in me liked to watch them. I liked to see him being happy and having fun that was the David I fell on love with. It seemed like the breakup hadn't phased him at all. I started to watch the video until I couldn't see anything any more because the tears had completely blurred my vision. He was so happy and I'm falling apart. I had never felt so small.

How was it so easy for him to just move on and go about his day and pretend I never existed. How was it so easy for people who were supposed to be on my side who were supposed to me friends and my support system to completely turn their backs on me when no one knows the story. No one knows what happened but they're all so ready to believe some trashy internet article rather than me. I completely broke down. I hadn't cried at lot after the break up and it feel like my body was holding it all in for this very moment. I had never felt more alone. I cried until my body just shut down and I closed my eyes and fell asleep, my eyes no longer able to keep themselves open.

I woke up with a pounding headache, and a little disoriented. I looked around and reached for my phone. One text from my dad fifteen minutes ago.

"Dinner in an hour sound good?" I quickly replied that I would be over soon. I had only slept for an hour and I still felt so exhausted. I got up and went to the bathroom to get some advil for my head before I realized it hadn't been unpacked yet. I sighed and started to sift through all the bathroom boxes to find it. I had found my makeup, hair supplies and skin care products but no advil. I opened the next box that thankfully did have the advil but something else caught my eye more. The orange prescription bottle that was full of small white pain killers. I had completely forgotten about the medicine from both mine and davids wisdom teeth removal. We didn't use most of the pills and we combined the two bottles into one after when we had to travel shortly after the surgery, wanting to have them just in case. I picked the bottle up and for a second I thought to myself that this was the dumbest idea I ever. The idea to take all them right now.

But a bigger part of me wanted to take them so badly. It seemed like the answer that felt the best. The answer that would cause me least amount of pain. Just to be gone. I had already seen how easy it was for people to forget about me and move on so who would I really be hurting. I had always struggled with depression my whole life going off and on anti-depressants after I tried to hurt myself when I was in high school. Since I had moved to LA I had been able to keep myself on track with therapy and taking my medication but that hadn’t been happening lately.

I didn't take time to think everything through I just grabbed a glass of water and threw back a couple of pills with each gulp. I didn't keep track of how many I was swallowing I just kept going until the bottle was empty. I slowly walked out to my disorganized living room sitting on the cheap couch and laying my head back. A sense of peace washed over me thinking everything would be over soon. No tears, just memories going through my head.

My high school graduation, with all the people I thought would always have my back. I thought back to the first time I met David, a loud club with people dancing and music playing but I remembered the first time I saw him my world stopped. I smiled as the memory washed over me. I couldn't help but think how it would of been different if our lives weren't public. I could feel my stomach start to turn and my body starting to reject the contents I had filled it with. I focused harder the memories flashing through my head. A few tears welled in my eyes thinking about my dad and how much this would hurt him. Ever since my mom left when I was three it was me and him against the world. Even when he got remarried and had my little half brother, there was a bond between us that no one else would ever come close to. I hoped he would understand.

After a while my body started to go into panic mode as the drugs started to do the damage I had intended them to do. My brain was calm though and as my world started to break down around me I tried to find my happiest memory. The best thing I could think of to be the last time I ever think of. Davids face wouldn't get out of my head and all I could think of was the very first time we said I love you. We had just gotten back from filming a bit with Jonah's family and we were sitting on the couch, David had his headphones in and was focused on editing, I was about to go home so I kissed him on the cheek to say good bye and as I went to turn around he grabbed my hand. I looked back at him and he was looking at me with more love that I than I thought anyone would ever have for me. "I love you." He said softly. I can't explain how happy and loved I felt in that moment. I wanted to stay trapped in that memory forever. I remembered over and over again how his hair fell when he ran his hands through it, always perfectly messy. How good he looked in glasses, and how my heart raced when he looked at me with that little grin when he was slightly biting his tongue. I remembered everything, until I could remember nothing. And everything went black.

----

(David's POV)

I looked out the window as the plane landed, anxious to be able to get off the plane and get to New York. The last day had been a blur I almost don't remember how I got here. It started with Erin calling about a weird snapchat story she saw y/n's brother had posted and then finding out she had tried to kill herself. Thinking about what was going through her head to make her come to that solution made me sick to my stomach.

To think I played a part in her thinking made me feel like I shouldn't have jumped on a plane to see her. I should of left her alone and let her family take care of it and kept myself as far away from her as possible. She deserved better. But I couldn't I had to tell her how much she meant to me and how it would destroy me if something happened to her. The past few weeks without were the worst of my life. I hadn't talked to anyone about why we broke up, i think i just didn't want to admit that I was the bad guy in the situation. That I had fucked up and was focusing too much on things that didn't really matter and not enough on the one thing that was my escape from the world. The one person that had my back so much that I became used to it. I became used to it and I felt comfortable and all the things she did for me instead being grateful for them I started to expect her to do them. And when she left I realized the giant hole that was in my life without her, but i felt like I had no place in asking for her back. She deserved someone that always knows her worth not someone has to lose her to realize it.

The ride to her house felt like it was 10 hours long, hitting every stop sign, I wanted to scream at the uber to run every light. But I just kept my calm preparing myself for what I might be walking into. I don't know if she was even going to be there or going to let me talk to her but I had to try. It took a lot of convincing to her her brother to give me her address after he told she had already been released from the hospital and I needed to see her.

My uber pulled over outside of run down apartments. They looked dark and not the welcoming environment y/n usually surrounded herself with. I quickly got out and started walking to the entrance, walking down the hall searching for her apartment number. I stopped in my tracks as I saw her apartment. I took a couple deep breaths as I knocked on the door, I heard movement and was happy to see there was no peep hole on her door so she wouldn't know it was me and ignore me. I heard the latch on the door unlock and it opened.

I almost didn't recognize her. She looked so different, tired and like she hadn't been eating. She had no emotion on her face until she realized it was me then she instantly moved to slam the door which I caught with my hand.

"Please just give me a couple minutes." I pleaded.She didn't even look me in the eye as she threw her hands in the arm and just walked back into her living room. I took that as an invitation and walked in shutting the door behind me.

"It's nice in here." I said looking around her new home, it was nice, but not as warm and inviting that her last place had been.

"Why are you here?" She asked sinking into the couch.

"I just wanted to see and make sure you're okay. Your brother told me what happened and I was worried." I said not sure if I could sit next to her so I decide to just stand. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know why he thought it was okay to tell you anything about me but I think you already know the answer to that question David." She spat back at me. "No I'm not okay but I don't need your pity party, I don't need you to pretend to care about me so you feel better about yourself so you can go back to your awesome life in LA and not feel like you had anything to do with what I did." She said finally making eye contact with me for the first time. I had never seen her eyes look so hurt.

"That's not why I'm here." I replied. "I'm here because I do care, I needed you to know that if you think i don't care about you, thats wrong. If you think I wasn't affected by you leaving, that couldn't be further from the truth. I had to interrogate your brother to figure out what happened he didn't want to tell me but I needed to know. I needed to know that you were okay and I needed to see you." I said looking away from her. I couldn't stand that I played any part in making her like this.

"Look David that's thoughtful. Thank you for checking on me. You can leave now. I'm alive I didn't actually kill myself, your conscious can be cleared. Now you can go back pretending I never existed, like you have been since I left." I could hear the hurt in her voice as she replied back to me.

"I messed up. I should of never let you leave that day. I should of told you I care. I should of made changes so you could see that I care. I should of never let you feel like I didn't care to begin with. My life isn't the same since you left. And I needed to see you and tell you that I love you with my whole heart and I'm sorry." I replied back hoping she could feel the sincerity in my voice.

"Everyone turned against me. You just went about life as normal with your friends to distract you but I had no one." She said, my heart started to get tight as I realized my actions went beyond what I could imagine. "You didn't think to clear the air? You didn't think to mention that us breaking up wasn't my fault and that I had been trying for month!" She shouted. "Everyone left me because of you. I have no one."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't talk about you. I couldn't admit that I was the fucking idiot that lost the best thing that I've ever had." I moved closer to sit down next to her. "You have people in your life that care about you and I'm sorry for anything I did to cloud that. Y/n when I found out that you...... when I found out what happened all I could think about is that in that moment I would throw my whole career away for you to be okay. I don't care about it. Not like I care about you." I said I could feel tears start to form in my eyes, now that I was sitting next to her I could smell her perfume, the same one she always wore. It had an oddly comforting effect and I just wanted to reach out and hold her.

"That's nice and all David but it's too late." She said I could feel her start to get up."Please don't get up." I said grabbing her arm lightly.

"If you want nothing to do with me I will leave and never bug you again. But y/n, if you give me another chance I will never mess up again." I begged. She stayed sitting next to me.

"You can stay and we can talk but I don't know if its going to change our ending."

"I'll take it." I said back and she looked over at me and I could tell tears were ready to pour out of her eyes. She closed her eyes and began to sob.

"I'm pissed that I miss you so much. I want to hate you and not need you." She said through tears. I didn't say anything as I held her closer to me wrapping my arms around her and kissing her head and she cried into my chest.

"Everything will be okay." Is all I could reply as she continued to cry. It would take a while but genuine believed what I was saying. And i was willing to work to make sure it was.

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x y/n #david dobrik x you #david dobrik imagine #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #imagine

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slimeyslimeyballsack · 5 years ago

Text

If You Only Knew, You'd Hate Me Chapter Three

Pairing: Bucky Buchanan x OMC (Zebediah Kaskitt)

Summary: Bucky and Zebediah had a fleeting interaction years ago and Zeb has been hung up on the boy ever since. Even with his arrogant and dismissive exterior, Zeb still tries to make a connection.

Warnings: swearing, shitty parents, as per usual, bucky gets pumbled, it's bad, I guess I just hate my main characters, but wait, theres fluff, yep, hurt comfort baby

Tags: @lykenbcrn @btrmuffins @diagnosed-crazy

As always ask if you'd like to be tagged

Part One Part Two

When Bucky stepped into the kitchen his mother was in her usual place at the island. What worried him was that his father was behind her chair. Bucky knew well enough to take his seat across from his mother. His father eyed him the entire time, a look of disdain on his face that was reserved specifically for Bucky. Bucky's father was better than him in every way. Taller, stronger, more handsome, smarter, and infinitely more talented. A silence hung in between the three, the kind that pulled tighter the longer you held it until you reached a point where it would be painful no matter how it was broken.

"I can't believe you. Right now, I honestly could care less if you were found dead in a ditch. In fact, that might be an improvement to our current situation."

A glob of spit landed on Bucky's face. He didn't dare wipe it off. He felt the telltale sting of his father's slap across his face, then again on the other side of his face. His father's rings digging into his cheek and brow bone. He knew there would be blood. There was always blood when his father punished him. Especially now. Last night's fresh wounds would easily be reopened.

"Stand."

Bucky did as he was told, moving far enough away from the chair to give his father room enough to be able to circle him comfortably if he wished to. Bucky would be cleaning the floors later. They were lucky the tile was brown. A white tile would be much more difficult to clean.

"You were with that fucking zombie again."

His father accentuated each word with a blow to Bucky's face.

"They are disgusting."

A fist.

"You are disgusting."

A knee.

His father's rings stamped images onto his body. They would resurface later in the form of bruises. He grabbed Bucky's wrists, nails piercing the skin.

"I thought you learned your lesson after yesterday boy."

He threw Bucky on the ground collecting the skin of his wrists under his fingernails. He slammed his foot into Bucky's back as a preventative to stop him from getting up.

"Don't lie to me boy. If you tell me you learned your lesson I don't want to see it again."

A series of kicks fell onto his back and sides. The beating couldn't have lasted more than a couple minutes, but it felt like hours. It felt like it would never end. His mother didn't participate. She merely watched, sipping her martini and occasionally checking her watch, as if this was just a slight inconvenience to her. In all likeliness it probably was.

"Stand."

Bucky again did as he was told. Any other time he would've submitted. But he didn't want to not see this zombie anymore. He wanted that kindness. He needed that kindness.

"May I speak, sir?"

His mother and father exchanged glances before he gave a curt nod.

"I wish to explain the reason I am associating with the monster."

His mother's eyebrows raised, eyes widening.

"You mean you did not wish to create a friendship with it?"

"No ma'am. Of course not. I just have him do tasks for me. He's like a servant. That's all I'm using him for. He is a filthy zombie. I would never want to be around him otherwise. I promise."

His mother looked to her husband. Being the reasonable one out of the two he had hoped that she took to what he said. She could convince his father of anything.

"You know, dear. That isn't a terrible idea. That's very resourceful of you son."

His father laughed. A rare sound coming from him. It was deep and loud. It wasn't happy. It induced no joy, hearing it. Quite the opposite. The rumble instilled a deeper fear into Bucky.

"Why didn't you say that before we taught you your lesson, boy? Now clean up and do whatever it is you do. God knows you're never home. Just be quiet; we're going to bed."

"Yes sir."

His mother and father left the room. Bucky was able to let out his breath. The first thing he did was clean the blood away from his eyes as best as he could. He made quick work with the mop, disposing of the end and replacing it once he had cleaned the pools on the floor.

The sounds of the night filled the air. Homemade windchimes hung outside. They didn't sound good or look particularly impressive, but they were an important part of zombie culture. Art deco in general was a huge aspect of zombie culture. They turned trash into something creative and beautiful. It decorated their houses and their lawns. It was a thing of pride. The windchimes currently jingled unceremoniously. Crickets sang their songs, exchanging melodies with the frogs and the cicadas. Although there technically wasn't a curfew the Z Patrol would still chastise zombies for being out at night so Zombietown was always quiet after sundown.

Of course, on such a beautiful night it would have to be disrupted. The sound of something hitting the chair that served as a window cover rang out. Zeb turned over, covering his head with his pillow. The metal tang continued.

"What the hell." He mumbled.

He threw his blankets off and shuffled to the window, pulling the chair off its nail. In the dirt, down by his stoop stood Zebina. She beckoned him to come down. Zebina never went out after dark. She didn't even go to mashes. Zeb didn't even think she stayed up past ten o'clock. He swung his legs over the railing and hopped into the ground.

"Bina, what are you doing here?"

"The wolves, they're having a campfire. They invited us."

Zeb wrinkled his eyebrows. Zebina, most likely sensing his confusion continued.

"We hung out while you were at your cheer stuff. So are you coming or not?"

"I- yeah."

They hurried to the outside of town where they were met by a wolf named Wynter. The two seemed close, sharing inside jokes as they made their way to and through the forbidden forest. As they approached you could hear howls and laughter. A large fire raged in the center of several wolves. Zebediah didn't love fire. He wasn't scared like some zombies, but he tended to stay away from it. Zebina, on the other hand, was fascinated; she loved fire. She went immediately toward it, greeting other wolves. She was uncharacteristically social. Zebina didn't have a lot of friends; she and Zebediah had been friends since elementary and had just stayed close. She didn't have time to make friends; she had to study. Yet, she already seemed close to them.

Now alone, Zebediah looked around, spotting a semi-secluded spot away from the fire to sit. He decided he'd wake up a little bit before joining the group. Before he got the chance, a wolf came over to him. He remembered her name was Willa. She was kind of scary, but Zeb smiled at her anyway.

"Diah right?"

"Zebediah, yeah."

Zeb moved over to allow her to sit.

"Bina talks about you a lot."

"Oh God, what does she say?"

"Bucky? That asshole?"

Zeb sighed. "Zebina doesn't understand why I like Bucky so much."

"Neither do I."

Willa raised an eyebrow. She looked bewildered. People usually were. He got side eyes whenever he called to Bucky. Zeb shifted into a more comfortable position. This would be a long conversation; he could tell.

"She doesn't pay attention. Nobody does really. I don't blame them. We're all so caught up in our own lives; we don't take the time to look at what's happening with people. Nobody looks behind the brash exterior. He's either a monster or he's a cheer god."

Willa's face wrinkled into something between anger and confusion.

"He is a monster though."

"No. He's not. He's not a cheer god either. He's just a person. A person with thoughts and feelings. A person who makes choices based on things that have happened to him."

"Don't you ever just feel like all your kindness is wasted?"

"Sometimes, yeah, but everyone deserves kindness."

Willa didn't seem happy with his answer at all.

"But he treats everyone, including you, like crap."

She stood, throwing her arms in the air and pacing.

"Kind of, but also kind of not. It's an act. Next time your around, pay closer attention to his facial expressions, to how he words his sentences. Just look closer, I implore you."

Willa stopped to look at him and chuckled.

"You're so nice. Forgiving. You're just like Wyatt." She shook her head, then looked back up at him. "I don't like Bucky, but your decisions are your own. I think whatever this is will go down in flames. I do wish you the best though, you seem like a good kid."

"I'm older than you." Zeb jested.

"I'm wiser."

"Are you though?"

Two shared a grin before Zeb thanked her.

"I am quite tired and I certainly wasn't expecting this conversation tonight, so I think I'm gonna head out."

"Do you need walked back?"

Zeb shook his head before walking over to Bina, informing her of his departure. She managed a 'later loser' before resuming her conversation. The wind was comfortable compared to the humid heat the season brought. Instead of going home, he decided to head into Seabrook.

Willa wasn't wrong. Before this week, Zeb had only his speculations to go on that Bucky wasn't as bad as he seemed. It was childish of him to hope for something more with him. But he stood by his decision that everyone deserved kindness. Especially the people who didn't get it.

He wandered for a couple minutes before he saw a familiar form. It was Bucky. He looked awful. Something was wrong.

He supposed adrenaline was the only thing keeping him from passing out. He staggered through the streets. The streetlights blurring together into streaks of light. The houses and trees blurring into paint strokes. He didn't know why he didn't dress his wounds before he left. He needed to get out of the house.

Bucky ran into a solid object. Zebediah.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

Bucky needed to tell him about him helping him.

"I need to talk to you."

Zebediah looked him up and down. There was worry in his eyes, the same kind that Addison gives him.

"You need to get fixed up. Come on, we have stuff at my house."

He started to walk away.

"No, I'm fine I-"

"Bup bup bup. We are going to fix you up and then you can say whatever you needed to say."

Zebediah softly grabbed his fingers, urging him to follow him. He complied.

He didn't know why he was surprised when they walked through the gate. This was where all zombies lived. Zebediah would be no different. He had been here several times before, never really looking at the scenery, just thinking about how to impress his father. It was all trash. All of it. The house they walked in was barely put together. It was such a contrast to what he was used to. Even inside of Zebediah's room it wasn't much better. Everything in it looked as if it had been taken out of the trash. His nose wrinkled when he realized most of it probably was.

He didn't complain that the bed was uncomfortable, although it definitely was. Zebediah stood in between his legs. He had rags, tape, cotton sheets, a bowl, and a bottle of alcohol.

"It's the best I can do. We don't have any antiseptic, so I'm so sorry. This is going to hurt a lot. Tell me if you need me to stop."

Zebediah cradled the back of his head, wiping the blood from his face. He was soft. The rag dusting over his skin. His eyes fluttered closed and he was calm. Nothing could happen to him.

"Grab my arm if you need to."

Bucky didn't need to grab his arm. He wasn't a baby. Then the sting came and Bucky's eyes snapped open. He squeezed Zebediah's forearm. Hard. Zebediah looked into his eyes to make sure he was okay to continue, then covered the cuts that were still bleeding.

"I need you to take your shirt off."

Bucky started to, but he struggled. He couldn't get his arms over his head. Zebediah reached to help him, grabbing the hem of the collar.

"I can do it myself."

He didn't mean to snap. He just- He didn't need anybody's help. Zebediah removed his hands. Bucky messed with it for a couple of minutes before getting it off. Zebediah began to wipe the blood off of his abdomen. He kneeled in front of him, one hand on Bucky's lap. As he assumed, there were bruises everywhere. Little stamps imitating his father's rings. It stung again. Bucky grabbed his arm. He was certain he was hurting him. Still, he didn't complain. He simply circled to his back.

"There's nothing on your legs, is there?"

Bucky shook his head. The air was freezing when Zebediah took his hand away. He handed Bucky his shirt and left to put everything away. He did feel better, not great, obviously, but better. He wasn't covered in blood. That was good.

Bucky's eyes looked to the doorway as Zebediah entered. He sat on his bed and Bucky turned so they were facing the same way.

"Who did this to you?"

Bucky didn't answer. He knew the question would come up. He wanted to answer, but he knew what would happen if his parents ever got wind of it. To be fair he'd be dead meat if his parents knew where he was right now. Before he could decide Zebediah spoke up again.

"Were you in a fight?"

Bucky shook his head.

"Was it- Was it your parents?"

Bucky didn't say anything. He didn't nod or shake his head. He just stared at his toes, hands fiddling in his lap. It was a while before Bucky built up the courage to say anything at all.

"Please, don't tell anyone."

"But we need to help you. I can't just sit and do nothing."

"Just, please."

Zebediah's face worked, but he nodded. Neither of them spoke for some time. Bucky thought about what he said earlier, and the building curiosity forced him to ask.

"Earlier, you said we have to stop meeting like this. What did you mean? How do I know you?"

Zebediah chuckled, although Bucky couldn't think of what could be funny in this situation. Was it obvious? Was he forgetting some huge event?

"A couple years ago I was out past curfew. I heard somebody knock over a trashcan."

Bucky remembered the night he was talking about, not necessarily what he had done wrong, but certainly the punishment. Thinking back on it, Bucky should have known that the boy was a zombie. He hadn't gotten a good look at his face but he had been staring at his hands. Which were gray. And his clothes, no Seabrook citizen would go out dressed like that, even at night. Even then, he still thought about that encounter every now and then. He remembered his voice. It had lowered since then but it still had that same quality. This beautiful melodic tone that sucked you in, made you listen. How in the hell had he not recognized it?

"It's getting kind of late."

Bucky stilled at the thought of going home.

"You could stay if you like."

He let himself sink back into the bed, nodding his head gratefully.

"I don't have extra blankets or anything, but you can take the bed."

Zebediah went to leave the room and Bucky panicked. He couldn't be in here alone.

"Wait," Zebediah turned to look at him. "Could you sit by me?"

His eyes widened. Bucky shied away from his gaze, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. It was his turn to be surprised when he felt the bed dip. Zebediah sat at the head of the bed, leaning against the wall. Bucky hesitantly moved to sit next to him. They sat silently for a while before Zebediah started talking.

"You know, you're gonna be great someday. Not that you're not great now. You're gonna get out of Seabrook. Find a big house, probably like four bedrooms with a pool in the backyard. You'll get a membership to the gym down the street."

It was soothing. So soothing that Bucky couldn't help but let his eyes close and his mind shut off.

Zebediah was in the middle of his story when Bucky fell on his lap. He pet his hair. This is why he did it, why he was so ceaselessly nice. Because you never knew what someone was hiding. Aware that his position was not the best for his back he tried to shift Bucky as best as he could into a lying position. He was going to sleep on the couch, but Bucky grabbed his arm. Zeb could've pulled away if he wanted, but he didn't want to hurt Bucky in any way. He laid on the bed, careful not to bump him. He was hyper-aware of every single move he made. He didn't want to do anything that could further injure him or make him uncomfortable.

Zeb had settled into a half-sleep when he felt an arm wrap around him. He startled awake before remembering Bucky was here. This was a dream come true. Zeb managed to settle back into a comfortable dream state.

Part Four

#disney zombies #z o m b i e s #disney channel original movie #disneys zombies #disney #z-o-m-b-i-e-s #bucky buchanan #bucky zombies #if you only knew you'd hate me #buckediah #chapter three #tw: swearing #tw: abuse #tw: violence

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linkspooky · 6 years ago

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could you do a meta on dabi,hawks and endeavor theres something interesting about thoses three there was even a chapter about those three theres a common occurance about them that i can't put into words

There is a connection between all three of them.

So a follow up from my last post, there’s a question of agency between the three of them. [x]

Definition of Agency

What agency means is essentially the freedom and capacity to live or act in a defined world. In a literature sense, we can interpret this in a few different ways. We could look at a specific character in a novel, and see his/her ability to make choices, act freely, and control their respective lives within the novel. The character is able to engage socially, take action on desired things, and have control of their own life. [x].

Basically, let’s look at it from a different angle than the last post though. When it comes to the connection between Endeavor, Dabi, and Hawks, just as important as Agency, their ability to make choices is motivation.

Definition of Motivation

In literature, “motivation” is defined as a reason behind a character’s specific action or behavior. This type of behavior is characterized by the character’s own consent and willingness to do something.

There are two types of motivation: one is intrinsic, while the other one is extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is linked to personal pleasure, enjoyment and interest, while extrinsic motivation is linked to numerous other possibilities. Extrinsic motivation comes from some physical reward such as money, power, or lust. Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is inspired by some internal reward such as knowledge, pride, or spiritual or emotional peace or wellbeing, etc. [x]

So basically now we’re looking at the characters from two angles, number one what choices do they have room to make, and number two in those limited choices what motivates them to eventually make the choices that they do.

So, I would say the connection between the three of them is that they all chose to pursue being a hero in some way, yes even Dabi who is a villain cares about the idea of becoming a hero.

Now Endeavor’s are the hardest to discern, since his reasoning to want to be a hero is vague at best. Trying my best to discern though, it seems that Endeavor one, worked really hard to be a hero and believed his hard work should have been rewarded with some sort of feeling of accomplishment. It’s the same reason that Bakugo freaked out so badly when Todoroki did not face him at his strongest in the tournament, because his own feeling of accoplishment was wrong because he didn’t believe he earned it.

So, it’s really hard to discern, but the idea of being number one itself was soething that Endeavor was after, and facing the fact that really no matter how hard he strives he would be at his limit and unable to surpass All Might who was just better and stronger than him in any way took a number out on his ego. This is my best attempt at explanation, it’s not really clear what Endeavor wants out of being a hero.

It’s a thematic idea that is explored in MHA at least, the desire to be the strongest. Whether or not that desire itself is a good or bad thing, but also because that strong drive can drive others to do terrible things.

The best way I can explain it though is that Endeavor believes he’s entitled to a certain sense of accomplishment after all that hard work he did to be number one, but because there was such a huge gap in front of him he was never able to reach that accomplishment and thus he took his feelings out on the others around him.

Basically, despite Horikoshi trying to present Endeavor as a character motivated by heroic means at this point, pretty much every bit of his past characterization contradicts this. Endeavor is pretty consistently characterized as an abuser, it’s all about his feelings and his own sense of accomplishment and worth, and he uses Shoto and everybody else in his family to those ends. There’s malice in the way he treats Shoto, especially when Shoto implies he has desires of his own. Basically, Endeavor attacked his family out of a perceived lack of respect from the world, and a perceived lack of feeling of accomplishment which he thought he was owed due to all of his hard work. So, there’s something especially toxic about Endeavor’s motivation to be a hero, one could even call it toxic masculinity if MHA were like… more thematically consistent about anything.

But let’s simplify for a moment and say Endeavor’s motivation for becoming a hero is really in line with the society of quirks we’re presented with in MHA. That he has a strong quirk, and he works hard, therefore he should rise to the top with his strong quirk and be stronger than anyone else, and defeat bad guys and that is what a hero is. Endeavor followed that line of thinkng from society perfectly, but he wasn’t able to become the strongest.

He’s obsessed with quirks and strength the same way society is, and even forced a quirk marriage which was said to be a negative aspect of humanity’s budding obsession with quirks and wanting quirks to be stronger.

So, Endeavor’s motivation for becoming a hero is entirely personal. However, Endeavor had the most agency to make his choice out of the three I’m presenting here. There was no pressuring circumstances for him to do what he did, except for the pressure that Endeavor put on himself. Endeavor was basically free to choose to become anything, and he chose to become a hero. Unlike Dabi, and Hawks he could have just become a hero and been satisfied with that especially due to the lack of external pressure but it was never enough for him.

Endeavor who had the most agency to choose, also destroyed the agency of others around him, his own family. He may be responsible for creating Touya/Dabi (the rest of this post is going to go forward on this assumption) but he definitely used his wealth of agency, fame, money, resources, in order to completely destroy and cut short the agency of both Rei and Todoroki for his own purposes.

Also it’s important to note that villains are usually the ones which limit the agency of others. Villains seize agency in order to act and create the circumstances, and heroes respond to those circumstances. Except the greatest antagonist to Shoto’s own arcs, the one that created the circumstances that he has to respond to, is the hero Endeavor. Then next on the line is Hawks. Hawks also has shaky at best motivations for being a hero, and partially selfish ones but for entirely different reasons.

As elaborated on in the last post, Hawks was raised by the hero system, saved fro a troubled home, and told because he had talent he simply had to become a hero.

So, if Hawks has empty motivations in this case it’s because his own agency is limited. From childhood he’s almost always done what others have asked for him, and his ability to make his own decisions, or be informed by his own motivations was pretty much nonexistant. His name is his hero name, he’s entirely Hawks.

Why is Hawks always resolving things on his own? He’s been taught by the system that there’s absolutely nobody else he can rely on. He’s been used as a tool from the beginning so the best way he can adapt to this is by making himself into the most efficient tool possible. “Well, I’ll still be a tool in the end but at least I’ll be a pretty damn good tool.” with the idea that if he does his job well enough he might be able to break free from the system that he’s become such a vital part of.

Hawks has to work as efficiently as possible, he’s obsessed with saving others and being the best even if he has to do all the work on his own and only stick his sidekicks with clean up. He’s basically tied to the job, and also of the idea of doing everything all on his own, simply because he has the ability to do so.

The irony being that Hawks obsesses over the idea of freedom, he works tirelessly so others can be free, he encourages them to be free and not waste themselves, and yet Hawks has no freedom of his own, specifically because he was born with those wings. The symbol of his freedom his wings, are also a curse to him.

So, Hawks entire motivation is agency, he wants to have agency, to be motivated to do things for his own reasons and not fro the sake of othes. He believes that people who are strong enough to fight for their own reasons are the ones that can be relied on and put people at ease but he is not one of them.

Which would explain Hawks strange opinion of Endeavor, even though once again Endeavor is somebody who created a broken home, a child abuser, the same kind of home that Hawks came from and is responsible for his current situation.

Simply put, Endeavor had agency and drive and he was able to decide those things for himself, something that Hawks is fundamentally lacking in and unable to see himself as able to do.

Hawks is so exhausted he can’t even bring himself to try, and he falsely sees Endeavor as somebody who did try even when it was impossible. So, he envies that part of him. Even after wearing himself out completely to become somebody who saves almost everyone and willingly sacrifices all of those feathers at a drop of a hat, Hawks still does not believe he’s done enough and lacks the energy to go further, and thinks he has to rely on someone like Endeavor with a big flashy power in order to set people at ease. Hawks from the beginning was setting up and manipulating Endeavor to be a symbol. He pretty much says so.

Hawks is more suited for the position, he’s more political, tactical, he genuinely wants to save people, he’s helpful to them and a friendly face, the only thing he’s lacking is being a total powerhouse which is what society thinks it needs right now, so he sets up Endeavor in his place while he works behind the scenes.

So, what Hawks is motivated by is being powerful enough to put people at ease, however the choices Hawks makes in order to fulfill that motivation are completely opposite.

His motivation is to have more agency as a hero, but his choices are always one that specifically limit his own agency. If Endeavor is a character that has all the agency in the world and abuses it to limit the agency of others, then Hawks is a character that limits his own agency over and over again even though all he desires is freedom. Both of these characters are making these choices because they revolve around the concept of being a hero.

Hawks also, was limited in his agency, in what he could become because of the circumstances of his birth and he was born with a body and quirk ideal for becoming a hero, and he still feels pressure and aftereffects of that upbringing even as an adult.

Then finally we bring ourselves to Dabi/Touya.

If Shoto and Hawks were born to become heroes, then Dabi specifically was born not to be a hero. His body would never be able to handle it. Not only to the point of not having an ideal combination of quirks and being a failure like Natsu and Fuyumi, but to the point of being physically disabled. His greater fire actively harms him because of the lack of his body and his own constitution, and the person who decided to make this risky choice to blend quirks was Endeavor, not caring about the child’s well being but rather how the child was born to fulfill his own ambitions. So, Dabi was given a shitty body since birth which limited his choices of what he could become in a really quirk obsessed society, and his father did this on purpose to him and threw him out as a failure when he did not turn out the right way.

So, the person so far born with the least agency in their situation is Touya. Whether or not he wanted to become a hero is not really a choice to him because his quirk destroys his own body, and his father dismissed him as a failure.

He’s also the inverse of Hawks, he was adopted became a hero whether he wanted to or not because he was born with a quirk that was ideal for the job. Dabi was abandoned and neglected because he was born with a quirk unideal for being a hero, and also his body would actively be destroyed if he pursued that path.

So, his response is to believe as Stain did that because he was excluded, that society itself was wrong about him and wrong about heroes.

Dabi’s introduction tells us two things, he doesn’t like people who aren’t dedicated to a cause, and who kill without reason like Himiko instantly being put off by her.

Second that he’s driven the same way that the hero killer is. That even acting as a villain, he wants to make a society where heroes act like real heroes.

It’s even apparent in his taunts to Aizawa, he tells Aizawa to act like a proper hero, to save his students. What’s a better call to action for a hero anyway than a proper antagonist.

He praises Aizawa for acting properly as a hero should. So, of allt he characters Dabi had the least amount of agency, that’s not to say he was forced to doing what he did, but he was the least suited to becoming a hero, and even then there’s still some part of Dabi that wants heroes to act properly, and there’s a cause he acts for that wants to affect some positive change.

Yet, at the same time born with the least agency, still motivated by cause and wanting heroes to act like heroes, Dabi is also of the three the character that burns up the most agency. Villains often have the most agency, because they don’t care whose agency they trample over to get what they want. In order for Dabi to have his current freedom, he had to walk over others and kill them, that became a necessary step to acheiving his goals in his mind.

Let’s say Dabi is acting like a vigilante here and giving him the most benefit of the doubt. That Stain did not like villains that acted without just cause either, so a bunch of low brand thieves only out to steal for themselves aren’t doing anything to improve society so they’re unnecessary, they’re in the way so Dabi burns them. Dabi’s ultimate goal of improving society becomes built on their sacrifice then, his agency comes from taking theirs away.

This is something Dabi is questioned about twice, you’re taking away living breathing people from the world, people with connections, all for your own purposes. No other member of the villain’s league is really questioned on their murders the way Dabi is. Because Dabi is the one who is trying to justify his killings as being for an improvement to society, the most out of anybody in the league.

Dabi’s own life was cut short, and his response now is to cut short the lives of others, for some perceived higher purpose of his. However, even still he differs from Endeavor, because of all the implicaitons that Dabi himself knows what he’s doing is wrong is feels guilty about it, and is actively destroying his own body in the process, Endeavor and Shoto both have one burn scar, Dabi’s entire body is covered in them.

Dabi’s too are inherently selfish and self driven motivation. He wants to correct the hero system yes, but only because the hero system is what created him, and he knows those cracks exist because he’s the one that fell through them. As much as it would benefit everybody, just like Hawks it’s still a deeply personal grudge created by his own circumstances.

So, Endeavor sacrificed the agency of others. Hawks sacrifices his own agency. And in his wild bid for freedom from his circumstances, Dabi is the one who makes the most radical choices. Born the son of a hero, he did the unthinkable and cast away all of society’s restrictions to become a villain instead. In order to walk that path he actively devours the agency of others around him. At the same time, he’s also limiting his own agency because he’s pushing his body and mind to their natural in born limits. Dabi acts both self destructive, and destructive of everything else around him. In order to gain agency, he destroys himself and others to get the agency he was denied when he was younger.

Yet, all three of these characters are still connected by their want to be a hero. They share a revolving motivation though each of them took a drastically different path.

#metasks #dabi #touya todoroki #dabi is a todoroki #dabi todoroki #endeavor #hawks #Anonymous

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crazy-hand-official · 6 years ago

Text

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences.

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist.

but also i guess i just really love tunes.

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch.

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao.

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer.

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still.

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting.

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

#hole #courtney love #long post #goddamn this took forever to write lol i just had a lot to say #and still have more but ill shut up... for now.#im not actually drunk but i wrote this post last night at like 1 am #well i was drunk but not christmas morning damn

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jackandmarksavedme88 · 6 years ago

Text

@ashphoenix06 @weirdmixofweirdness @honestlyitsjustkennaswriting @emma-wrote

TW: Violence anxd Blood

(I dont have a title for it lmao)

I could hear Jack in the next room recording his let's play; I heard him laugh and giggled. "My best friend is an idiot." I checked my phone, waiting for him to be done. I looked around and wondered how the hell i got here. Four years ago i was just someone just watching his videoes. Now? He's one of my best friends....something i would've laughed in your face for even suggesting it could happen. And yet here i am.

Suddenly the hairs on the back of my neck stand up...something's wrong. I realized its too quiet. I look toward Jack's game room and realize its silent.... except for a faint static sound.

"Jack?? You ok in there dude?"

My question was met with silence.

"Jack?" I get up and walk towards the door to the room hes in. The sound makes me shiver. 'What the hell is that?' I wonder.

"Hey... You ok?" I say as i knock on the door

"Ye-yeah...Im good...hey listen i dont think i can go tonight."

I frown "Huh? The whole reason anyone is coming is because youre here in LA for a while and they havent seen you in forever"

I hear him breathing hard "Just...go and tell them im sick"

I turn the knob slightly to open the door "Jack, are you sure youre ok?

"YES! ITS JUST A DAMN HEADACHE. GO"

I jump back, startled at the rage and pain mixed in his voice.

"Uh..o-ok...... If you need something let me know" I turn and walk out of the apartment hes renting and frown as i step onto the street

'What the hell was that?' I wonder.

I see a text from Amy asking if we are on the way. I dial her

'Hellllooooo?' I hear her boyfriend Mark's goofy voice

'Hey guys...jack is sick. He's not coming tonight'

Theres a pause as they take in the confusion and hurt in my voice

'What happened?' Asked Amy

'Fuckin beats me. But if he was a girl id guess PMS. He yelled at me! But its whatever. I'll just go hang out at home. I dont feel much like going anywhere anymore"

"No. Im going to come get you." Amy said. "Ill invite Katherine and Tyler and Ethan and we will all hang out at our house.... I dont want you alone right now"

I knew why. Mark and Amy knew all about the nightmares, the panic attacks. All of it started ten months ago and whenever they could, they kept me company

I was quiet...thinking back. To that night that everything came crashing down. The facade i built up was torn away.

*************

"Ugh. Youre talking to them AGAIN? Why do you feel the need to be up their asses"

I jumped, startled by Brandon speaking from the doorway

"Jesus babe. You scared me! Im watching Jack's video and talking to him and Mark."

'Yeah. Like you do every freakin day. You ever think they get tired of you?" His words dripped coldly, stabbing at a well known insecurity and finding their mark

I took a deep breath "No. Because they would say so. They would tell me 'hey. I dont feel like talking' and that would be that"

Brandon rolled his eyes "Yeah. Whatever. I dont see why youre friends with them anyway. They take too much priority. You should be focused on other things...like me"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes "I focus on you enough. Come watch with me! Its funny!"

"No. Thanks. I have better things to do. You should too" his voice getting that edge to it...the one I knew too well, it made me cringe but at the same time pissed me off

"I really dont get what your deal is." I said

"My deal is they stick their nose where it doesnt belong and they dont know when to walk away....especially that little Irish asshole" he sneered.

That struck me for some reason "Hey! Jack has never done anything to you Brandon. Neither has Mark for that matter. Back the hell off" I said, standing up and facing him

His green eyes flashed darkly "You need to watch how you talk to me. Thats another thing, you get mouthy when you talk to them. You forget where you belong"

I stared at him...wondering how the hell it had come to this. He wasnt always this way...and i wasnt always afraid of what would happen...

Mouthy?! If standing up for myself and people i care about makes me mouthy then i guess so! And what do you mean they dont know how to walk away? What the hell are you talking about? Whatd Jack do that was so bad?"

He barked a laugh out "When we went out to LA for you to see them, he didnt like how he perceived i was treating you. He threatened me. Him and Mark. Threating me! Not that you care"

I thought about that trip. About the bruise on my face i got the first night for a hug that lasted too long. The bruise on my arm when i wanted to go dance but not with Brandon... Thats when Jack, Mark and Amy had begged me to stay there.

To leave Brandon... Thats when they peeked behind the curtain i had kept up for the last two years.

"What do you mean by threatened?" I asked warily. Not sure what happened

" He waited till you went to the bathroom with the girls and slammed me up against the wall and said if i knew what was good for me Id 'treat you better' and he better not hear of it again" Mark just stood there and watched it and when i went to say something to him he said it was better that Jack did it because he wouldve done worse! Thats what your precious friends did." He spat. Words dripping with disdain.

I stood speechless.... I didn't think anyone gave a crap. Sure they said they did and wanted me to leave...but i didnt think i was a friend worth threatening someone over

"Well. Thats what happens when you care about someone. You protect them" i said quietly...before i realized what that would set off, then steeled myself for it

The atmosphere of the room changed. It went from normal to almost foggy. The tension grew thick. Brandon stepped up close to me, his 6ft frame dwarfing my 5'3" one.

"Im the ONLY person that gives a shit about you. They keep you around for entertainment. You think they care? You could disappear and in a month they wouldnt even remember your name. Im the one that takes care of you. Im the one that made you who you are. You would still be in your moms house in that backwoods town if it wasnt for me! You keep forgetting just where you stand in this relationship Alison. Keep pushing and im going to have to reteach you some things" his words were almost a whisper

"Now. Unless you want me to wait and kick his ass myself to make him leave you be, i suggest you not talk to him as much." He said smiling...it didnt quiet reach his eyes though. Those were cold and hateful

The thought of him putting hands on jack was too much. I stepped up right in his face

"You can do whatever you want to me. Say what ever you want to me....but dont you EVER threaten one of them again!" I spit out the words, my emotions and courage suprising me

I shouldve prepared myself, but the smack caught me off guard and i fell against the wall. He grabbed me and turned me to face him, pressing my back to it

"I told you. Dont. Speak.To.Me.That.Way" he spit out as he painfully grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Brandon.. Let go!" I cried. He just laughed and hit me in the ribs on each side. I went down to my knees

"Get up you pathetic bitch. You want to stand up for your man, then do it"

"Brandon. Hes my friend. Why do you have to be this way. Hes a friend!" I yelled through my tears

"Oh. I know. Because why would he want something like you? But you seem to forget how to talk to me" his words dripped in hatred and anger. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and drug me to my feet. "Now. Are you going to do as told? Or do i need to convince you further?"

I breathed in sharply, pretty sure a rib was at the least bruised if not broken. But then i thought back to what he said. Thought of what hed do to Jack....because he really was that possesive.

"Im waiiiiting Ali. Or do you need a visual of what ill do to him? Id probably start at his kneecaps. Break those and hes at my mercy. Then ill work over his ribs and his face...if im feeling generous i might stop before theres a need for ICU...."

That did it. I went numb and saw red. I couldnt feel the pain in my face or ribcage anymore. The thought of it sent me flying into his face

I think it suprised him because i had never fought back before. Id always bowed down to whatever he wanted. Because i thought i loved him. Because i thought he was all i had.

I screamed as i drove myself into him and out into the living room. He tripped on his own feet and i landed on him, throwing fists anywhere theyd land. I heard a crack as i landed one on the bridge of his nose and blood started to flow. He yelled and grabbed me and flipped me over. He smacked me in the face and his body weight pinned me to the floor

"You dumb cunt. You really thought that would work? Did you really think you could make me do what you wanted by fighting back????? Youre mine and you will obey me!!" He punched me in the face and i almost blacked out. He looked up to the coffee table and saw his pocket knife and got a look of pure evil in his eyes. "And apparently you need a reminder of the fact that whats mine is MINE" With one hand he held my wrists as i struggle to break free, with the other he grabbed the knife and popped it open, the blade sharp and gleaming.... This was it... I knew i was going to die. Hed threatened so many times and hes finally going to do it.

He lifted the bottom of my shirt up, exposing my stomach. "Now. Hold still sweetheart" he purred coldly.

I started to kick and scream as i felt the knife drag across and slice my skin open....and the world went black..

..........

I slowly came to, blinking against the fluorescent lights. I opened my eyes slowly, letting them adjust. Feeling dizzy, worn out... What the hell was going on?

"No. Shes been out of it since she came up here. Theyve given her medicine to help her rest and keep her calm. No, i dont know what they think yet...... Yes i know you want to kill him but the fact is, youre in England and hes here in Texas... Jack. Dude ill let you know, i promise...alright. Bye'.... I knew that voice..

I was confused. What is Mark talking about and why the hell does he sound so close? My eyes finally cleared and i could see Amy on the couch against the windows... Mark was pacing back and forth. His hair messed up like it is when he constantly runs his hands through it....i knew that was a nervous tic of his... I realized I was in a hospital bed

"M-Mark? I croaked out. Throat dry

He turned sharply "Alison!" Rushing to the bed side he grabbed my hand "Hey...welcome back" I looked to the other side where Amy had perched on the bed next to me, a worried look

"What.....what the hell happened?" I murmured, thoughts jumbled. I looked in Marks eyes, they were wet with tears that he blinked away quickly. "That bastard almost killed you.... The neighbor heard you screaming and called the cops....when they got there they could hear it so they busted in... He broke four of your ribs, gave you a concussion and cut you all up....you had me and Amy on emergency numbers so we got here this morning....youve been here about 24 hours." Tears streamed down his face as he squeezed my hand. I felt Amy rub my arm and looked over to her.

"You guys didnt have to come all the way here for me. Really.... Thats crazy. Amazing. But crazy"

"Heh" mark laughed "jack wanted to jump a flight from England... Oh i better call him"

He walked outside the room and shut the door

"Alison....I want you to come home with us when you get out of here. Im not leaving you in that apartment." Amy said, determination on her face. I knew there was no arguing.

"Ok...maybe for a little while..." I trailed off. We sat in silence for a moment

"By the way....cops said you broke that assholes nose and an orbital bone. Also busted his ribs when you were kicking him when he cut you...nice job" she laughed bitterly

**********

Ali??" Amy said over the phone. I snapped out of my daydream. "Yeah Amy...Im here. Um...Im just not up to people tonight... I promise im ok. If im not, I'll call you." I said

It was quiet for a moment and then Mark spoke up "Are you sure? We can be to your place in no time." I smiled "Yeah guys. Im sure. Ill talk to ya'll tomorrow" i hung up the phone after saying goodbye and walked to my car. Pondering what my life had become in just a few years..... 'Screw this. Im going for a drink' i said aloud.

I went back to my apartment and picked out my black dress from the back of the closet. I felt like wearing it for the first time since i bought it. I held it up to my body and studied my reflection and laughed, remembering the day i bought it

*********************

"Amy..... I really dont think i can come out in this" i said from inside the dressing room

"Alison Jaymes if you dont step out here right this minute im crawling under the door!' She said laughing

I grimaced...embarrassed to be in something cut so low.....sure my legs looked great and it gave me great cleavage but..... id be a laughing stock if i walked in anywhere in this...but i knew shed do what she said. i cracked the door and peeked out, making sure no one was around and stepped out.

Amy's eyes widened "holy crap! Girl. You have to get that. You look amazing!!!!"

"Yeah. Right im sure. And where or when would i wear the damn thing.... It shows too many of...these" i said bitterly as i traced the light scar down my arm and then one on my leg...both left that night by Brandon

Amy stepped closer to me "Ali, you look amazing. Please get it. Especially since your hair is that cherry cola color. Your green eyes pop and this dress just completes it. You.look.amazing..... I bet Jack would be speechless....and thats hard to think of" she laughed, looking at me mischeviously

I threw my head back and laughed. "Yeah. Speechless as to why i would wear something like this. I could have a Playstation attached to my head and he wouldnt notice me. Not that way..and thats fine. But.....this would be good to wear out to get drinks...meet a stranger....dance. Hmmm"

********************

I finished my eyeliner was applying my red lipstick. I stepped back from the mirror and admired myself. Id lost about thirty pounds in the last few months and had to admit i didnt look half bad.....i slipped my heels on and grabbed my coat and walked to the car.

As i was putting the keys in the ignition, my phone rang. I looked down at it as the screen lit up with Jacks face

"Hello? " I answered. Not knowing what to expect

"A-alison?" Jacks voice came through the phone raspily. It made me shiver

"Yeah Jack. Whats up?" I asked, a little worried now. He didnt sound like himself

"Hey...im really sorry about that... I-I didnt mean to yell at you at all. Its just...hard to fight those headaches and....well im just sorry ok?" He said, rushing through his words. I could tell he was tired. Worriedly i said " Are you sure you dont need anything? I have medicine in my purse. I could go get you some food or something...." Losing all thought of going out. Wanting to know what was actually going on

"Yeah...maybe...maybe some soup or something?" He asked. I smiled "Sure. I can do that. Give me a little bit and I'll be there, ok?" He sighed "Ok...and Ali? Again im really sorry-"

"Ah ah" i stopped him. It doesnt matter now. We're good. " i hung up, still worried, but glad to not end on a bad note. I got back out of the car and hurried inside. Instead of changing i just grabbed some sweat pants and old tshirt to change into when i got there.

About an hour later i knocked on the door. Jack opened it and invited me in...not speaking. I was carrying some chicken soup from the diner i loved going to. Homemade and it smelled amazing

"Hey. Thanks for coming back....what is all that?" Jack chuckled as i put the food and a bag from the pharmacy on the counter

"Well, i got tylenol, ibprophen and even some icy hot and vicks..... I didnt know what was causing the headache so i just grabbed what i use for different ones" I studied him for a moment.... "You sure you're ok? You freaked me out"

He looked at me with a sad expression "Yeah...im really sorry Ali...i dont know what happened. I feel like an asshole" he stared at the ground. I stepped toward him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey. I told you not to apologize anymore. All is forgiven. I just want to make sure youre ok Jack. Thats all that matters..ok?" He looked up, his blue eyes staring into mine and nodded. "Yeah...okay" he sighed and relaxed.

The he looked me up and down "what the hell are you wearing?" He laughed

I looked down, suddenly remembering the clothes in the bag on the table and the fact that i had my dress on. Blushing i laughed "Well. I was on my way to get a drink when you called.....i brought some clothes to change into.. I look dumb i know, i just didnt want to take the time to change' He looked down at my feet "were you going to wear your converse to the bar??" He said teasingly.

I laughed "No! I had heels on, but i didnt think you needed to see all that! Shut up!" I said throwing my hands up. Uncomfortable under his gaze all of a sudden. Feeling his baby blues on me

He touched my arm lightly and chuckled "hey. Im sorry. I didnt mean anything by it. Honestly you look great Alison. Ive never seen you dressed up like this"

I stared at my feet for a moment, trying to regain composure. "Well. Let me go change. You start eating" i said. Grabbing the bag with my clothes i went into the bathroom and changed.

After eating we sat down and popped in a movie. As it played i watched Jack from the other end of the couch...studying him. He seemed normal....i guess. There was still something off...but maybe hes just getting sick.

I held out the bowl of popcorn wed made and offered it to him. When he didnt notice i took a piece and tossed it at the side of his face

"Huh?! What the hell?" He said. I laughed "dude. You were spaced the hell out!" He grabbed the bowl and then looked at me mischeviously. He got a handful of popcorn and lobbed them at my face, laughing

"Hey! I threw a single piece! Not fair!" I dove over to his side of the couch for the bowl, giggling as he transferred it to his far hand and held it out of reach. "Urghh. Why am i so..short?" I growled as i struggled to reach it.

"Because its fun to play keep away" Jack laughed. I tried to get up to steal it but he held me with one arm. "Thats not fair either!" I laughed, collapsing as he poked me in the side. I looked down at him, one arm stretched over the side of the couch with the bowl of popcorn and me pretty much just laying on him....suddenly very aware of my face's proximity to his face...i flushed crimson and sat up and adjusted myself so i was again leaning to the other side of the couch

"Rude. Im ticklish and short...whats your flaw?" I jokingly pouted. He threw his head back and laughed. "You don't have the time or mental space for all my flaws Alison" Jack got up "Ill be right back. I want to make sure the video uploaded right" he walked into his game room, leaving the door cracked open.

After about five minutes i stood up, stretching and went to the kitchen to get a drink. As i was standing there, my back to the living room, i heard...laughter? My head whipped around...that didnt sound like Jack though. It was...weird. I sat my glass on the counter and creeped up to the crack in the game room door.

"Jack....hows the video?" My question was met with silence so i pushed the door open.

Jack sat in the corner of the room, on the floor, back to me with his head in his hands. His head was moving...twitching side to side..

"J-Jack? Are you ok?" I walked slowly to him...suddenly aware of how very silent it was...i couldnt even hear outside nosies....

I reached my hand out and right as i was about to grab his shoulder he spoke...pained....like he was fighting with the words.

"Al-Alison....go back to the living room....please....please just go.....just go in there ok? Give me a little bit...Im-Im fine but i need you to go...shut the door....please ali"

I shrunk back...he sounded almost desperate. "Jack. Please...let me help you...if youd just tell me what's wrong...."

He laughed bitterly "No. I need to be alone on this...please just go....and....do one other thing?" he sounded serious. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to jerk him up and find out what was going on.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Ali.....just remember..no matter what i say when i get like this .. I love you. Ok? I dont say it enough but i do. You're always there for me " i stood there...replaying his words, my heart hammering in my chest as he suddenly bent further down, face almost touching the floor and grabbing his head. I ran out of the door and shut it, my hand lingering as i wispered "i love you too......"

I sat looking at my phone, trying to distract myself. It buzzed with a new message. It was from my cousin Jennifer.

J: Hey cousin. What're you up to??"

Me: Nothing. Over at the apartment Jack's renting while hes in LA. You

J:Nm. Ooooooo Jack huh? You ever admit to yourself, or him, what a major crush you have on him? Or still in denial?

Me:Jen! No. And im never telling him that! Its fuckin weird. He's my best friend and thats it

J: whatever. You know, you just need to grab him by the shirt and lay one on him. I bet yall would be down and dirty in two seconds

Me: omfg Jen. Im done with you lmfao. Jesus. Dirty ass mind

J: Yeah. Like you haven't daydreamed about him saying your name in that cute little accent in the bedroom. But seriously....say something. Youll never know till you do

Me: yeah ok. Thanks Dr Phil.

I put my phone down, laughing at her. Then looked up when i heard the game room door open. Jack stepped out, looking as though hed been through a war.

"Jack!" I just up and hurried to him. Wrapping an arm around his waist i led him to the couch. "Sit your ass down. And tell me whats going on" i demanded as we sat on the couch.

He looked at me, his blue eyes searching mine. "Alison. There are some things i never want you to deal with....and that is one of them" i reached my hand out, cupping his face. "Jack. Youre my best friend. And i swear to you Im here. No matter whats going on...ok?" He nodded and closed his eyes, leaning his head to the side trapping my hand to his shoulder.

He suddenly looked up. Almost....frightened.

"Jack?" I said quietly. He turned toward me.... Everything became very still, his head twitched to the side. "Damnit" he whispered, standing quickly. This time i followed him as he walked away.

"Oh no. We aint doing this shit again. What the hell is happening" i demanded. He suddenly stopped at the closed bedroom door and i ran into his back

Jack....c'mon. This isnt funny." I said, angry and little bit terrified

He began to laugh but....it was off. It sounded....higher pitched and crackling. Suddenly he shook his head "No! Leave her alone!!!" He shouted, smacking the side of his head.

"Jack! What the hell!?" His head twitched side to side. I stepped back, the hair on my arms standing up. Something is wrong here. I reached out slowly, touching his shoulder and in a whisper choked out "Ja--Jack?"

Suddenly i was being twisted and thrown backwards against the wall, his hand at my throat, head hanging to his chest. "Jack!" I screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU----"

My words died in my throat as he raised his head, his beautiful blue eyes had been replaced by emotionless black. His head cocked to the side as he grinned evily at me.. Teeth seeming longer

"Alison" the thing purred "Dont you know when someone says to leave them alone. .you should? You know the saying about the cat and curiosity dont you kitten?" All color drained from my face

"An--anti? What. How?" I stammered. Not believing this" he got rid of you....you were gone!

The demon threw his head back and laughed. "Oh Ali....you think this...weakling could kill ME? You think id be defeated by your BOY?" He spit out mockingly, his grasp tightening on my throat. "Jack and i. We are the same person. Without me, theres no him" he giggled that insane laugh again. Id only ever heard it in videos....it was so much worse in real life

"Anti. Hes NOTHING like you. Hes pure good. Strong, smart and successful. Youre just a glitched out bitch that has become a joke. Your angry turtle voice isnt going to scare me. Show me something worthwhile or get the hell out!"

His gaze locked onto mine, it felt as though he was staring deep into my soul.....then he smiled, the grin sinister.

He leaned right into my face, waving the knife that was in his other hand and running it gingerly down my arm. "Should i leave a few more scars? Im a bit more well learned in this than Brandon was though Princess.....i bet my scars will run deeper..maybe ill let Jack watch as i cut you.. I think hed enjoy it" he growled. I stiffened at his words.

"Anti. Youre nothing like him. Youre not even HALF the man Jack is' i spit out, pissed off and scared. He studied me for a moment and leaned over into my ear. His breath hot on my neck

"You think hes just so perfect? Such a good boy?" He purred into my ear "i just want to cut you....to make you feel pain. Him? He wants you to enjoy it when he hurts you" his knife traced my side as he spoke. " They say Im from hell and some of the things in his head when hes around you almost make me blush" the words came out half amused and half disgusted. He leaned back and laughed, the sound twisted and distorted. "Hes a pussy. Cant even do anything about this.....he couldnt even save you from Brandon...and he reallllly wanted to let me loose that day. Had him against the wall and everything" The glitch laughed darkly

"And now. He gets to watch while i kill you.....i might even let him back to reality after so he can feel your blood on his hands" Antisepticeye giggled again.

"Jack! I need you to wake up.....i need you to fight this! Please!" I pleaded, searching for any sign of him in the abyss that his eyes had become. "Jack!!!" I raised my hand and slapped him almost instinctively.

All of a sudden he fell to his knees. Clutching his head. "Aghhhhh!!!" His yell ripped from his throat, the sound of torture.

"Jack. Fight him! Please!!!! " i dropped to my knees in front of him and grabbed his face in ny hands. When i forced him to look at me his right eye shown that beautiful blue color...the other still black. "Jack. Come on. Please. You can do this. Please come back! I didnt tell you i love you too!! You have to come back so i can tell you!!"

I began to sob as he fell to the floor, jerking and holding his head, cries of pain eminating from deep within.

And suddenly.....he was still.

I reached for him, still on my knees. "Jack?" I said softly as i touched him. I rolled him over. His eyes were closed and he was too still for a long moment

Then he coughed. I sank to the side, butt hitting the ground and sighed. He half sat up and looked at me. Both eyes the most beautiful shade of blue id ever seen

We stood up and after a moment he looked at me. "Alison....oh my God. Your neck..." I looked at him "My neck?! Thats what youre going to comment on??!?" I half yelled incredulously. "Really?! Not the fact that Anti has been screwing with you??? You didnt think we needed to know?!"

Jack stepped closer to me, fingers trailing my throat....tracing the sore spots left by anti's hand. "Im so sorry....i didnt mean to...i.... Oh God whats happening to me?! He cried out.

I stepped forward and buried my face in his chest hugging him tightly. Both of us crying.

"Jack.....i almost lost you." I whispered.

"He almost killed you Alison......that asshole almost......and i couldnt stop him! How fuckin useless am i? He cried out

I stepped back and looked at him and then held him tightly. "Jack. You didnt do anything wrong " i said

"It was MY hand around your throat Ali!!!" He yelled as he pushed away. "Dont you get it? I stay so far away so i dont end up hurting anyone." He turned his back to me, wiping his face and walked to the bedroom.

I followed him and sat beside him on his bed. Silence stretched out. Neither of us knowing what to say. Then he spoke "I cant believe i threw you into a wall and choked you..."

I laughed and before my brain could filter my words i said "Oh cmon....it wasnt that bad. I mean, if not for the whole Anti posessing you thing it wouldve been kinda hot!".... Then realizing what i said i fell backwards and just laughed, soon he was laughing his ass off right next to me. "What the ACTUAL FUCK Alison!!???" He sputtered, the fuck sounding more like FOOK in his accent, as he laughed more. "I dont fuckin know. I was almost choked out by a demon glitch Jack!" I shot back through my laughs.

Soon the laughter died and i sat up. Taking a deep breath...Suddenly he grabbed my hand and said softly.. "Did you mean it?"

I looked at him. "Did i mean what?" I asked. He looked down at the floor and then spoke as he raised his gaze to meet mine "When you said you loved me......did you mean it?

I stared at the ground a long while...then stood up fidgeting with my hands and i walked back across the room, putting my back to him as i spoke

"I-i....mean..." I sighed hard and just let the words out "Yeah. Ive always meant it when i said it Jack.... For the last three years." I heard him stand and walk up behind me. "Well alison....you couldve said something." He said softly

I laughed and turned to face him "Yeah. Let me just tell my best friend that somewhere along the way i fell for him. Let me open myself up to THAT rejection. Ha! No. Thanks im good with that." He studied my face intently, then reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear and cupping my chin

"What kinda of an idiot would reject you?" He asked softly and then said "well....ok im an idiot for not noticing.....but not that big of an idiot. I have my limits you know..' and with that leaned his face down and pressed his lips to mine. The world stopped for a minute, and then i wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back as he pulled me against him.

When he pulled back we were both breathless "Jack....." I said and then stopped. Not knowing what to say so i leaned against his chest. Wrapping my arms under his to hold him. His hands trailed up and down my back as we stood there, completely comfortable in our slience.

He sharted shaking and laughing again out of no where. I stepped back and he shook his head "Sorry. Sorry. Just what you said earlier... I cant believe that came outta your mouth!"

Putting my hands on my hips i glared at him playfully "you just haaad to go a ruin a great moment didnt ya!" Then i started laughing too.

He put his hands on my shoulders "Ali...hon. Im sorry its just hilarious hearing you say that! Dirty minded much?" Then he stopped and very slowly stepped closer and closer to me until my back hit the wall softly and he stared me down with a serious look.

"J-Jack?? Very funny. Ha ha. Stop it"

He smiled. His blue eyes twinkling. "What? I just wanted you to have a better memory of being backed into a wall by me is all" his hand softly pressed to my throat as his mouth captured mine again, more urgent this time, pressing his body to mine. Softly but in control of my every move.

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