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mammonsturtle · 2 years ago

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Chronicles of a Fallen Warrior -Gone to the Dogs- -MC’s Visit-

A/N : Wanted to write something short, @rays-doodles27‘s question if MC was here, so I wanted to give MC’s side of things if they were here.

CW: mild cursing and general angst

First part

The Devildom.

You hadn’t been there since you left the exchange program, you did keep in contact with the boys though things had gone radio silent as of late.

They had kept in contact with you and talked to you daily. Though they knew they couldn’t bombard you with texts and calls once you had to get back to your life in the human world.

You missed them all, especially Mammon. You were worried since he always came calling to you whenever his brothers gave him hell. You were always there to comfort him and to defend him from his brothers. It was odd to you that he had gone silent on you too.

It’d be foolish to think that everyone was getting along while you were gone.

As Solomon had escorted you to the House of Lamentation, you felt a chill run down your spine. Something had to be off as the house was still and dark, any sign of life wasn’t seen from the outside. You let Solomon know when you needed him to escort you, and open the gate, the old creaking must have alerted the inhabitants living the house as you can see the lights come on.

As you stood at the door, you could hear a stampede of footsteps behind the door before the door opened up, your demons almost falling over themselves.

“Mam- MC?”

“Hi,” You looked at the group of Avatars, they had looked quite disheveled and even Asmodeus looked like all self care had gone out the window ages ago. “Were you guys expecting Mammon?” You inquire as the fact that they had called you Mammon was telling.

You knew Mammon was going to snap eventually, you just didn’t expect it so soon.

“Darling~~!!” Asmo throws himself on you as you stumble back, “Oh, we’ve missed you...And we need your help.” You could tell he wasn’t himself as well as the other brothers, as they were in the same shape.

Oh, were you supposed to fix this family again?

“Mammon’s no longer living with you?” You asked as you sat in the living room, though you’re not surprised. You knew the brothers weren’t the greatest with treating Mammon with any love or respect. Yet you knew Mammon always let them use him as a punching bag out of love for his brothers.

A love you couldn’t understand and wondered how Mammon put up with it.

As you sat in the living room, the brothers were looking at you with hope that you could fix them again as you had done before. You shake your head, “So what happened now?” You ask as you knew the brothers were the cause, once again.

The brothers proceed to tell you about the dog incident, and the entire time, you couldn’t help but feel angry with them. You groan as you rub your temple, surely the strongest beings of hell had no idea that their actions and their words had an impact on Mammon?

Mammon of course, for the greater good of his family, let himself be used and abused. That never sat right with you, of course, human morals were vastly different from demons’ morals.

By the end of it, you couldn’t help but understand why Mammon had finally had enough of his brothers. Even you could feel yourself feeling the same, Satan of course could feel the waves of wrath emanating off of your shoulders.

“So none of you questioned why Mammon was acting strangely? No one asked about the only book that was just laying on the ground? No one questioned the dog that was just watching all of this going on? The fact that Mammon wasn’t talking at all the entire time didn’t hit you like a brick that something was wrong?”

Your fists were clenched into tight balls as your nails dug into your palms, “I can’t believe you would treat a stranger’s dog better over your own brother!” You scream at them as they all visibly flinch at their master’s outburst and rightful outrage. “Of course, I can see why you would. All you ever do is point out his flaws, you never say anything good about your ‘dear’ brother.”

“Dear god. No wonder Mammon felt like shit seeing you all treat him as if you all actually loved and cared about him. Quit lying to yourself that you all would actually want him back.”

“MC, perhaps you can help us bring Mammon back home? He’ll listen to you.” Satan suggests, feeling slightly meek as your rage was still felt as the brothers all murmur in agreement. Why in the Devildom did they ask you to fix them the moment you came back to visit them?

“No wonder he left this family. I’m disappointed- Disappointed would be too generous.” You mutter as you get up to leave, only for Lucifer to grab your hand.

“MC. Please. We’ve made a grave mistake. We had taken Mammon for granted, we will try to do better.” he admits as he dared not look at you, his pride wouldn’t allow it as you groan and flicked your hand out of his hold.

“I can’t be the only person fixing this family, I did it once, and it looked like things were looking up. But as soon as I leave, it goes to shit. As if I was never here, why are you all surprised that Mammon left?”

You could only shake your head in disappointment and you head out the door, but gave the brothers one last look. “Change starts with you, and I doubt you’d all change for Mammon.”

With Solomon escorting you to the casino districts, you felt the heat of a thousand lights and blares of the various jingles and sounds of the district. The casinos looked like it had become more alive than your last visit as you could have sworn the little casinos weren’t here before.

Something of course must have changed since you last visited the casinos with Mammon. Of course, the days of Mammon inviting you out as his lucky charm were long over. You had missed those days, you and Mammon had good times, even if Mammon lost some nights. Mammon always showed his gratitude, in his own way of course whenever you did accompany him.

When he won big, he’d shower you with whatever you desired, and when he didn’t, he appreciated your comfort and your unconditional love. Even when you were both out late and in for a lecture from Lucifer, you were always quick to defend him.

As you and Solomon stepped into the biggest casino building, it was like blood in the water to sharks as the demons all stared at you. A pretty little soul ripe for consumption before a tanned demon in a maroon suit stepped forwards towards you and Solomon, the sorcerer quick to guard you.

“Ah, you must be the little human Mammon brought here many times before.” he greets as he watches you light up and step forward from the sorcerer at the mention of the Avatar’s name.

“So Mammon’s here?” You ask as Archemond chuckles and you give Solomon’s hand a squeeze to ease his worry. “May I see him?” you ask the other demon as he muses at your excitement and Solomon’s wariness.

“Well, that depends on your handler, doesn’t it?” he asks as you give Solomon a pleading look, Mammon was the reason you had come back into the Devildom after all. You give a small, but assuring smile. “I’ll be fine Solo. I know what spell to use if he turns on me.”

The sorcerer relents as he lets you go. “No harm will come to MC?” Solomon dares the demon as the latter holds up his hands in a mock surrender, “Please, if that were to happen Mammon wouldn’t let me leave the premises alive. He’d throw me to my own dog once he’s done with me.”

Archemond turns as he motions you both to follow him and you and Solomon followed him in the elevator. As elevator kept going up from the ground up, you could only imagine the scenery get smaller as you could see the whole Devildom nightlife from how high up Mammon was living now.

As soon as the bell chimed, Archemond steps out first as you follow him out, at a reasonable distance of course. There was a knock to a door as you could only sit back and watch everything unfold.

“Whaddaya want?! I’m busy ‘ere!” Yup, that definitely sounded like Mammon, with an extra bite at the end. You did remember some days where they were mostly associated with Mammon having his bad days where he’d rant and rave about his bad luck or his brothers giving him a hard time.

“The human has come to see you.” the underling responds as there was silence on the other side before the jingle of grimm could be heard along with the sound of a chair screeching.

“What human?” Mammon snapped from behind the door, but since you couldn’t wait, you moved from your spot and went to blurt it out just to see Mammon.

“Mammon! It’s me!” You called out. And as soon as your voice was heard, the door had flung open with such force, it might had crushed Archemond between the wall and the door.

“MC?!” Mammon appears before you, as if he’s seen a ghost but turns into relief now that you had come. But he approaches you as you flash a smile, one just for him. “MC.” he speaks your name so fondly and so softly as he takes in your presence as you were here with him now.

Your moment with Mammon was interrupted by the groan of Mammon’s underling groaned as he tossed the door aside, and Mammon snarls at his right hand man, “Whaddya still doin here? Get yer ass outta here and back on the floor!” he commanded as his beleaguered demon huffed and made his way out.

As soon as you two were left alone, you immediately hugged your first man. You were taking Mammon in and you still remembered the scent of Devilish No.5 as it clung onto his very being. Despite how warm he felt, you could there was a coat of coldness that hung on his shoulders. He was different from the last time you had seen him since departing from the Devildom. His goofy self was there, you figured, yet it seemed buried deep inside of him.

Not to be seen by anyone again.

“I missed you Mammon.” You finally breathe as you melt into his embrace. It was as if you never left him, he always did give you the best hugs. It was a familiar gesture you both shared with each other. His arms wrapped around you as you look up to see that winning smirk of his.

“Of course yer did, who wouldn’t want to miss the Great Mammon? Ya oughta be grateful!” He replies as haughty as he had always presented himself. Yet with you, he was more than willing to drop that facade. It was only you who know who he truly was. As he gazed upon the unconditional love that graced your face and eyes, he sighs in content.

“...I missed ya too Treasure.” Mammon whispers in your ear as he stroked the back of your head as he held you. “It’s been lonely since ya left.” he confesses as you would have been what he needed since that day of the dog switcheroo and the fallout with his brothers.

He had everything he wanted, his penthouse was fit for a top boss like himself. The glitz and glamour of the rich and famous adorned his shelves, countless material wealth stood as trophies of his wealth as they decorated each space of his suite. But they were not as rich as the love and comfort you had given him.

His new digs lacked the familiarity of your things that he’d secretly keep. A shirt or two, or those little notes and gifts you left for him when he wasn’t looking. He makes a note to himself to get some of his belongings from the House back to his penthouse.

Speaking of the House of Lamentation. He gently releases you from his hold and studies your face as you look up at him with questioning bambi eyes. He groans lowly and he half heartedly releases you from his hold.

“Ya ain’t here cause of them, are ya? If yer are, I ain’t going back!” Mammon asked fervently, not that the surprise visit from you was something he was wanting from you. He just had a hunch that his brothers sent you in their place to get him back.

You sigh as you shake your head, “Of course not. I had to see them first before coming to you.” You rub your temple as you couldn’t help but frown, “To say I was disappointed in them was an understatement. They should have seen this coming for a long time. And they deserve it.”

You look at Mammon as he wonders over your words and you go up to cup his face in your hands and let your foreheads touch. The sudden flush of red on his cheeks appeared and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m proud of you Mammon. You finally stood up to them, and now you’re free. No more insults, no more accusations, and no more punishments.”

Mammon’s red cheeks were warm against your hands, and he let the words sink in. No more abuse from his family, whom were supposed to love him as much as he did them. But alas, they had always taken advantage of his devotion to his family.

“Yeah...It is. It really is MC.” he gives you a sad smile and before you can say more, a loud yip had interrupted you.

“I think I have what you’re looking for Mammon, but why the need?” Archemond questions as he guides Mammon to the antechamber of his penthouse suite.

“Jus something, I just wanna teach my brothers a lesson.” Mammon mutters as the other demon chuckles, “That so? You done rolling over for your brothers?” Archemond snickered and stopped at one pupping pen.

Before Mammon was one of the many hounds that his underling bred and he observes as the hound growls lowly at him. Archemond holds up a white pup by the scruff, and as he whined, blue eyes upon blue eyes gazed at each other.

“He’ll do.”

“They’ve gone completely gaga over the little pup for the last couple of weeks, it’s amazing.” Archemond reports as Mammon muses over his latest profit reports and he huffs.

“So you were right,” Mammon grumbles and lays his head in the papers as the latter chuckles, “Of course, everyone loves a puppy. Until they grow up, then they lose their charm. You know all about that don’t you?”

“So...This is him?” You ask as you peer down at the hellhound pup that wiggled excitedly in between you and Mammon and you had squatted down to pet him. To think, something so cute and innocent was enough to tear the brothers apart.

The little hellhound that Mammon had used against his brothers just to prove a point, was scampering around the both of you until you pick him up. “I have to admit, he is cute.” You comment before you notice the pout on Mammon’s face and you laugh. “He’s nowhere as cute as you though Mammon.” You assure him as you give him a peck on the cheek.

“Ya don’t hafta tell me that, I know I’m cuter!” Mammon complains as the pup decides to snooze in your arms. You chuckle quietly as you look down at the pup and gently placed him in a little dog bed near Mammon’s desk. There were some toys, a food and water bowl, and some pads for him. You tilt your head before returning to Mammon, giving him a hug.

“Are you keeping him?” You ask as Mammon sighs, “Ya know I like cats better than dogs. But I guess I can make an exception.” He sighs as he pats the pup. “A brutal reminder for my brothers if they see us. Punishment for them this time huh?” His eyes were forlorn at the thought, but you both knew they had deserved it. His arms stayed close around you as he sighs, melting into your warm embrace and you both knew that you’d be like this for a while.

“Stay a while MC?”

“Of course Mammon.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me mammon angst #obey me angst #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus

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fratboykate · 3 years ago

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There is something that makes me so uncomfy about the fact that they think that just because we ship two characters it's always going to be inherently about them having sex and that "allosexuals are only focused on sex" like... no?? I write fanfiction I never write smut bc I'm not good at it and I don't think its always necessary. I prefer to focus on the romance and that's perfectly fine. I still enjoy the occasional smut reading but it truly isn't about that for everyone.

ALSO, when did it become okay to talk about someone in a term that they didn't consent to being called? Why am I suddenly called allosexual because I'm not asexual or aromantic? Like I get when they use it to differentiate but they have quite literally moved on to using it as an insult "oh the allos this and the allos that" and it's always so condescending?? Why??? Because I want romance and sex in my life? I should think there's something very ironic about them saying that people hate them because they don't want sex when they treat people who do like they're weird for wanting it.

I didn't even know what asexuality was before like, this year? I just thought, if you don't want sex or romance you don't want it and thats fine and if you do (As long as its consensual) thats fine too!

this whole argument (which is so dumb to begin with) has brought out some ugly sides of certain people and I'm pretty sure it's not the ones minding their business

CFAU is 400k words, plus however long the other one shot I have on AO3 is. I probably have close to 450k/half a million words up on AO3 alone. I would say there's at the very least ten times more than that spread out here between random asks, prompts, ficlets, and fandoms. While there are hints of sex scenes, there isn't any smut. At all. Anywhere. (Not for y'alls lack of trying tho.) That's not why I ship. The fact that they've turned shipping into this weird concept of "they just want these characters to fuck" is almost an indication that they think about sex more than we do. Sure, duh, if they're an OTP I want them to have sex in canon because who doesn't want that for their ship? But that's certainly not my sole or even main concern.

Look, they're going to foam at the mouth for this one because we've established that they hate to hear the truth but...they're not oppressed. People need to understand the difference between "I identify as this thing which puts me in a category that the majority of the population doesn't fall under, ergo I statistically am in a/the minority" and being an OPRESSED minority. The two are NOT THE SAME. No one has ever been fired from their job, denied housing, historically been violently discriminated against, or have laws passed specifically to take their rights away for *checks notes* not wanting to experience romance or have sex. That's simply not a real thing. Meanwhile the "evil allosexual" trans, gays, and lesbians out here are living through some of the most actually oppressive and violent years in all of history. 2021 was the deadliest year for trans people. Ever. Republicans are actively trying to take gay rights back to the 1940s. THAT is real oppression, not a stranger on the internet you could literally choose to ignore telling you some character you like isn't "ace". Go outside. There's people that are dying, Kim.

I'm also petty and stubborn so it kinda just makes me wanna double down now that they've turned Kate and Yelena into this weird battleground between them and "the allos" (derogatory) lol. At this point I just want Kate and Yelena to fuck in every corner and every surface of New York. No kitchen counter or alley left intact. Go forth and do it everywhere, all day long, year round my darlings. Don't even take water breaks. It's only 24/7/365 of deep, intense, soul changing, earth shattering, transcendental sex and love for them.

#this whole thing is so idiotic to me #all they had to do was not try to enforce their nonexistent canon #and try to shove it down people's throats #its so simple #yet here they are acting like we came into their house and punched their dog #lgbt #rants #anonymous #answers #kateyelena

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starshipsofstarlord · 4 years ago

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Hey love :) For your blurb night, can you write something with tom where all his friends know you are pregnant but him?

“Didn’t you know?”

Tom Holland x pregnant!reader / masterlist / 2k blurb masterlist

Warnings; pregnancy, cute oblivious Tom, mentions of sickness

You had taken the test in his trailer, amidst whilst he was acting, as Zendaya came to check up on you. The actress had said that she had noticed some changes to your appetite, more specifically, how many foods made you coil in sickness, and conjured vomit up your throat and into a toilet pan.

Since then, you had made it rather obvious to your other half that you had a bun in the oven. One example of how you had and continued to do so, was intwining his fingers with your own, and placing his large and soft hands upon the bump to be, cooing like a mother hen at the prospect of him being so far yet close to the baby that you had crafted together in the consumptions of your own pleasure.

And thus, you assumed he would have realised that you were carriaging around a pip of his seed, but he was appearing rather slow with realising the affects of having unprotected sex with you. “Come here Tess.” Tessa bounded towards you, licking your hand as you affectionately patted her.

“I took her to that park around the block, you know the one that has that the swings. I let her off the lead and she ran towards these two kids, one a boy and the other a girl. They adored her, and it had me thinking...” yes, he was finally getting it, and thus you nodded along, a grand smile on your face. “I think we should get a baby- a puppy, she seemed to enjoy the company.”

Your expression dropped. It was not that you were at all opposed to getting another pet to fill the house and provide Tessa with some company, it was his lack of realisation. Even Harrison had realised, and you had instantly thought of him because he entered the kitchen, on a mission to brew himself a cuppa.

“I think you should call it Harold. Then we can have a Harrison, Harry and Harold.” He nonchalantly spoke as he intervened within the conversation, going to the kettle, and keeping a wary eye on the both of you. “Congrats by the way mate, have fun being a dad. Don’t forget about me, I think I’d be the perfect god father.” Harrison winked. Instinctively you tensed up, surely Tom would have to realise by now...

“Why would a dog need a godfather?” Or perhaps not. You brought your hand to your face palm and figuratively facepalmed, what more was there to do? “I’m not going to christen a puppy!” At his words, Harrison frowned, turning the lid on the milk as he put it on the side, after pouring it into his mug, he turned to you, as if to ask ‘is this guy serious?’

“Actually, he’s not talking about a dammed dog.” A smile nervously placed itself on your face as you twiddled your fingers together, watching as Tom’s eyes widened with sudden, and overcome realisation, the idea of a puppy quickly slipping from his mind. His eyes floated down to your stomach, as his paused mouth gaped open, surprised with the news.

“You- we, we’re having a- a baby?” A smile slipped onto his talkative lips, and in reply, you mirrored his pleased expression, nodding to confirm his emphasised suspicion. “Oh my god.” He took you in his arms, crushing you in a big bear hug, until he all of a sudden pulled away, a worried appease cloaking his face. “I’m not hurting him or her, am I?”

“No, you doofus.” You admitted, a humoured echo involuntarily floating around the room, as Harry Holland himself entered, clearly having not woken up long ago. “And if you dare try and not hug me, then we’re gonna have a problem Tommy.”

“About bloody time.” Harry yawned, Harrison silently nodding in agreement, as the Holland looked towards his elder brother. “Thought you’d never realise that you had a bun slowly baking, I was that you wouldn’t realise that y/n was pregnant until the baby was here.”

“What?” Another voice broke out in the hallway, Tuwaine towing around Harry to invade space. “You two are having a kid? This is the first that I’ve heard about this. Are chickens and a dog not enough for you two?” Harrison frowned, as you shook your head, touching your hands over Tom’s that were now resting upon your slightly bloated stomach.

“Didn’t you know?” Harry nonchalantly asked him, to which Tuwaine replied with a curt ‘no’. “Jesus, I thought Tom was the only one that needed to get send daily reminders on about what is going on with his girlfriend.”

“Are we gonna have to tell Tessa too?” You asked, kneeling down, and laughing as she began to lick your hands. Tom began to tear up, to which Harrison punched him lightly on the shoulder, breaking him or out of him moment of emotion. He had gotten everything he wanted, albeit unexpectedly, concerning the time and place, but his real life was about to start, it’s purpose above all else he was involved in.

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 3 years ago

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HEY BESTIE ITS ME AGAIN! i was wondering if i could get a will request with angst. LOTS AND LOTS of angst about will and the reader seeming to always miss each other in sense of relationships and because of that the reader distanced themself from will so months pass by and they both are single then and they run into each other and eventually get into a fight bc he’s upset that they ghosted him and eventually have an angry love confession and happy ending?

thank u sm bff

YOU WANT ANGST, I"LL GIVE YOU ANGST...in a fairly decent amount cause this was hard to write for some reason🙃 sorryyyy @poulterfilms

~~~~~~~~~~

Why did life have to be so hard?

You watched as Will got ready for his date that night, giddy and excited to be going out, rambling on and on about how nice this person was, who he met a few days prior.

You just smiled and nodded along, pretending that your heart wasn't painfully throbbing with jealousy.

You hated this feeling, longing. It was strange, you never felt this way before with Will. You've been friends with him as long as you can remember, seen him have plenty of dates with other people. So why did you suddenly feel like you wanted him all to yourself? It wasn't like you at all.

"So, what do you think?" Will asked, snapping you out of your thoughts, slowly spinning around to show off his outfit.

You plastered on that same fake smile that you unfortunately got into the habit of doing nowadays. "You look great, Will. You always do." You didn't mean to sound so sad, but it came out that way and you internally cringed.

Will cocked his head with a confused grin. "You okay?"

You nodded your head eagerly. "Of course!" You stood up from where you sat and quickly adjusted the collar of Will's shirt, struggling to pull away when he smiled at you. "I always have to fix that damn shirt collar." You chuckled weakly, forcing yourself to take a couple steps back.

Will copied your chuckle, turning around to do a once over in his mirror. "What would I do without you?" He joked, but you frowned for a split second before shaking your head.

"Well, don't wanna keep the lucky date waiting, right?" You patted him on the shoulder, maybe a little too hard since Will rubbed his shoulder with a grimace afterwards.

"You are absolutely right. I'll be off then, night, love!" Will placed a quick kiss to your cheek, heading out of his house, leaving you alone with the ghost of the kiss lingering on your cheek. The innocent, and most importantly, friendly kiss.

You looked around the living room solemnly, looking to your feet to see the two pups you were trusted to take care of while the owner was out of his date. Welp, at least I have his dogs to share my misery with...

You had no idea how you let this happen. You've always seen Will as a friend, and nothing more. You've both hyped each other up when one of you scored a date. Will has seen you off to plenty of dates and never had a problem with it, so why couldn't you do the same for him?

Unbeknownst to you, Will actually has had similar feelings. He didn't know how it happened, but he developed strong feelings for you. He clearly knew you didn't feel the same, and he had to sit idly by as he watched you be in and out of relationships with people who weren't him.

He's never been one to get jealous, but he'd definitely be lying if he said he never was jealous of your partners. He wanted to be the one to hold your hand, he wanted to be the one to open doors for you, to be the one you smiled at when he wasn't looking. He decided to move on, even if it was the last thing he wanted. But his respect for you trumped his lust that he felt at the same time, he just wished he could turn his feelings off.

You decided to hole up in your apartment after Will came back from his date, the date that went "extremely well." The "he'd definitely be seeing this person again" date.

You couldn't say you were devastated, for obvious reasons. You didn't want to tell Will you had feelings for him, and you didn't want to be selfish. You always felt selfish nowadays.

You just felt like a burden.

It was hard hanging out with Will, always having to hear about his new partner, how they're so nice and kind and caring and apparently so fuckin' amazing...it made you want to vomit. It made you not want to hang out with him as much anymore, but thankfully, that decision was made for you. Will didn't have time for you anymore, he really wanted to make his relationship with this new person work, more than he wanted to keep your friendship strong, you thought.

Eventually, you just stopped trying to initiate conversations. Will would text you, all the time really, he'd just be too busy to see you. Between acting roles and sending time with his partner, you'd only be with him through text messages.

An epiphany struck you one day: you deserved better.

You knew you were right, and that's why it made your choice to painful. You had to cut ties with Will, but you had no idea how you'd do that without breaking down.

You took the coward's way out, at least, you thought it was cowardly.

You simply just stopped replying to his text messages. But once he started to text you messages like "can we talk?" you thought you might give him a chance. You said you'd do it tomorrow, then tomorrow turned into the next day, then a week passes, then a month. You stopped thinking about it, you didn't want to think about it, because every time you did, the urge to contact Will got stronger and stronger. You wanted to move on. You needed to move on. But, you never could get him out of your thoughts completely.

Months and months go by, and before you know it, it's Christmastime.

You'd decided to travel around after cutting off contact with Will, mostly just couch hopping with friends, exploring the area to get your mind off how heart broken you felt. It was a good distraction, for awhile. But now that Christmas was soon, you had to go back to your home town; you did miss your family quite a lot. But you did feel that similar anxiousness after coming back home, thinking about Will and the "what ifs." Will always loved spending time with his family during the holidays, and you knew he'd probably be in town.

Just going outside to check the mail was nerve wracking to you, but you chuckled bitterly at your paranoia, it's not like he was going to show up at your house out of the blue. He wouldn't do that.

Your family really wanted a Christmas tree, a real one. You tried to use your allergies as an excuse to just stick with an artificial tree, but your parents were dead set on having a real tree. It wasn't exactly a lie, you used to get real trees, you just couldn't be around one too closely or else you get into a sneezing fit. But you really just didn't want to be out in the town, just in case.

But your family dragged you along to help pick out a tree anyway, in the freezing cold.

You idly kicked some icicles that were formed on the bottom of tree branches, smiling subtly to yourself as you heard the crackle of the ice hitting the concrete. You looked over to see your family still trying to decide on what kind of tree they wanted, and you remembered how indecisive your folks were. You were gonna be there for awhile...

"Y/n?" As if you weren't freezing enough, the voice that you heard from beside you made a chill go up your spine, causing you to sink down more into your coat.

You looked to your left, unluckily for you, seeing your former best friend beside you, an unreadable expression on his face. "Will...? Uh, w-what are you doing here?" You weren't sure if it was the cold that made you stutter, or just the pure nervousness and almost fear that you felt.

Will uncomfortably shifted on his feet, taking a deep breath before answering. "My, uh, mum wanted to have a tree this year. I'm guessing yours did too?"

You nodded curtly. "Yep."

The awkward silence made you want to curl up into a ball and throw yourself off a cliff.

"We should probably talk." Will said.

"Uh," You nervously rubbed your hands together, "I don't think that's a good idea..."

"Why not?" He asked bluntly, his expression turning cold.

You sighed. "I...well, I have to help my parents get this tree so..."

"Fine. I'll come by later."

"Wait-"

"See you tonight." And with that, Will walked away in a hurry, not giving you the chance to refuse.

You bit the inside of your lip hard, a coppery taste coating the tip of your tongue when you explored the small dent in your mouth that you created from stress.

You figured this day would come soon enough. Karma's a bitch, as some say. You thought you'd have a bit more time to prepare yourself for a confrontation, but the universe decided to be a jerk and sucker punch you in the face with your regrets.

You went home, feeling like a knife was twisting in your gut as you helped your family set up your Christmas tree in the living room, constantly glancing at the clock every chance you could.

Eventually, your family decided to leave the house once more, having bought tickets to a play that night, which you politely declined to go to. You weren't interested in yet another retelling of the Christmas story acted out by little bratty children who couldn't remember their lines half the time. No, you have somewhat decent standards.

You just sat on the living room couch with your family pet, staring at the clock, seeing the hands move slowly until it finally reached nine o'clock. You untensed for a moment, thinking that maybe Will decided to not come over. The loud ring of the doorbell quickly squashed that idea.

You opened the door, not surprised to see Will on the other side, his cold expression unchanged from when you last saw him.

You said nothing as you moved aside, opening the door wider for Will as he walked in.

The air felt thick, like there wasn't enough oxygen for both of you to be in the same room. It felt similar to whenever you pulled your blankets over your head when you were little and afraid of the dark, thinking that nothing can hurt you if you were completely wrapped up in the comfort of your duvet, but never getting enough fresh air to keep those blankets over your head, eventually having to pull the blankets off to breathe. You really wished you had a blanket now...

"Well?" Will broke the silence, looking to you expectantly.

You shrugged slightly. "Well what?"

Will chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "You know what, Y/n." When you didn't reply, he continued. "You stop talking to me all of a sudden, for months, not even telling me why. I need to know why, I deserve an explanation."

You sighed, looking anywhere but at him. "I just...needed some time away..." What a fucking lie...

"Some time away, really? That's your excuse? We were best friends, everything was fine, so what went wrong, huh? Why did you just up and leave everything behind without telling me?" You closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself as his voice got louder with every sentence. "Are you even listening to me? Do you hate me now, is that it? I don't know what I did, please, tell me." He pleaded.

"Will..." You whispered, finally looking to him to see unshed tears in his eyes. "it was me, not you. You didn't do anything wrong..."

Will stepped closer to you, his arms crossed. "Do you have any idea how much it hurt to be ghosted by the one person you thought cared about you the most? It really fucking hurt. And now, you're just standing here like you don't even care."

"I do care, Will." You said softly, reaching out to touch him but he quickly flinched away.

"Then why did you leave? I want the truth."

"I wasn't happy...with myself...with you." You started, walking over to take a seat on your couch. "I felt alone. You spent all your time with your partner, you rarely had time for me anymore."

"Wait, my partner?"

"Yeah...the beginning of this year, you started dating that person, I forgot their name..."

Will shook his head. "It didn't work out with them, I'm not seeing anyone, haven't for awhile. But that's not the point. Why didn't you just tell me that you felt alone? You know I would've made time for you if that's what you needed."

You felt like you wanted to scream, frustration starting to consume you, but you settled for a muffled groan. "It wasn't just because I felt alone..."

"Then what?"

Fuck it...

"Because I hated seeing you date other people. I absolutely hated it. And when you started gushing about how amazing this person was, I felt like I wanted to bash my head in with a hammer." Okay, maybe that was a little exaggerated, but you got your point across.

"You didn't want me to date other people?" Will's heart beat rapidly in his chest, just the thought of why you possibly felt that was making him anxious to ask, "Why?"

You were scared to answer, afraid of his reaction. What if he hated you? That would be the worst case scenario, you'd rather die than have him hate you. But, you did owe it to Will to tell him the truth. The unfiltered, honest truth.

"We've been friends for as long as I can remember. We always told each other everything." You smiled weakly. "We'd always be happy for each other whenever we went on dates and found people that made us happy. But...there was a point where I realized that no matter how many dates I went on with other people, I never truly found happiness in those people. Because, I always thought about someone else...you." You looked up at Will. "You've always been the one person to make me truly happy. And I finally figured it out, it's not because you were my best friend, it's because...you're the one I always wanted to be with, Will."

Will took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to take in your words. "That night, when I was about to go on that date, you weren't yourself. You looked sad..."

"I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to stay with me." You wiped away a few fallen tears with your sleeve, sighing tearfully. "I was being selfish...really selfish." You frowned.

Will carefully sat beside you, looking straight ahead. The red and green lights placed crookedly on the Douglas fir being one of the only light sources in the room, illuminating your tear ridden face and causing a reflective shine to Will's glassy sorrowful eyes.

"I had no idea." Will said, being the first one to break the silence yet again.

"That was kind of the point." You sniffled, curling your knees up to your chest.

"...I'm sorry."

You furrowed your brows, looking to Will in confusion. "Why are you sorry? I'm the only one who should be sorry."

Will shook his head. "No..." He laughed sharply, clenching his fists in his lap. "It's funny."

"What is?" You asked, trying not to sound offended.

"I've spend years trying to get over my feelings for you, and you tried to do the same. Guess I'm not as intuitive as I thought."

You silently gasped. "Will? You...? Huh?"

Will smiled weakly. "I only started dating other people because I was trying to push away my feelings for you, and of course, it didn't work."

"Will, if this is some joke-"

"It's not. Have I ever lied to you?"

"...no. You've had feelings for me this entire time? And I punished you for it..." You said as you felt the tears well up in your eyes again.

"No, Y/n, no. You had no way of knowing, just like I had no way of knowing how you felt about me."

"I'm so sorry, Will. I never should've left."

Will quickly grabbed a hold of your hand, bringing it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on your knuckles. "You're here now. It's okay...we're okay."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

Will smiled softly. "Of course. I've never been able to stay mad at you for long."

You frowned. "What if I deserve it?"

"No. No, you don't. It's all going to be okay."

You took a deep breath, trying not to burst into tears again as Will pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. "What now?"

"Maybe it's too early to ask but...we could go on a date." Will chuckled weakly.

You looked back up at Will, trying to hide your growing smile. "Really?"

"If that's what you want."

You looked at the clock. "It's getting a little late, I don't think that many places would be open right now. We could go out tomorrow?"

"It's a date." Will smiled.

You sighed. "I really wish I would've talked to you about this instead of running away..."

Will shook his head, bringing his hand up to gently caress your cheek. "I shouldn't have raised my voice earlier. So now we both have something we regret. But it's okay, Y/n. I felt like running away quite a few times myself whenever you went out with someone else...or just hiring a hitman or something."

You laughed genuinely, playfully pushing Will's shoulder. "I think my family is gonna be home soon."

"That's my cue to leave, I take it?"

You pouted. "I don't want you to."

"Well, hey, we'll see each other tomorrow." He smiled.

You walked Will to your front door, frowning as he opened it. "I never used to be the clingy type with anyone."

Will turned around to face you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you in for a warm hug. "It's all going to be okay. We're gonna do this thing right."

You pulled away with a huff, looking deeply into his eyes. "I really want to kiss you right now." You giggled.

Will grinned, replying to your statement by leaning in, delicately brushing his lips over yours before fully placing them onto yours passionately. You could truthfully say that the kiss made you weak in the knees, it was everything you imagined it to be and more. It was intoxicating.

The kiss quickly got heated, and you didn't know if you'd be able to stop yourself. Will grabbed at your sides, trying to pull you even closer than you were already, eliciting a quiet moan from you when he gently pulled on the roots of your hair. But you finally forced yourself to stop, trying to catch your breath.

"Sorry." Will quickly apologized.

"I didn't want to stop." You snickered, running your hands through your now tangled hair. "We haven't even gone on our first date yet and I already want to rip your clothes off."

Will blushed and grinned. "Guess we'll just have to save it for tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow it is."

~~~~~~~~~

I had trouble writing this, if you couldn't already tell. Ugh, I have no idea why the reunion bit threw me off balance so badly

#will poulter #will poulter imagine #will poulter x reader

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whitehotharlots · 3 years ago

Text

A true story about rehab from 2007

Names and places changed, dates slightly fuzzy, yada yada

This all starts with Chris. Chris might be a good example of how things are objectively broken.

Two summers ago, Chris and his girlfriend moved from everyone's old hometown, Alton, to everyone's current home, Garden City. I had known Chris briefly when I still lived in Alton, which was up until about 8 years ago. In high school he was friends with my sister, a year behind her, I think, only he had some legal trouble and didn't graduate until two years after her. The first arrest came during his junior year, when police found some marijuana in his car while he was in class. "Apparently Alton is a utopia," he said years later. "No robberies need solving, no cars need ticketing, no fences need mending, fuckit nobody's house must've been dirty because if there was anything else even remotely worthwhile that those cocksuckers could have been doing they wouldn't have taken a drug dog through the high school parking lot."

The ironic part was that he was, honest-to-god, holding it for a friend. Hadn't touched the stuff until then, hadn't even drank more than a beer or two. Cops came in and pulled him out of class. Cuffed him right there in class, in front of everybody. From what I've been able to piece together that marked a very strong loss of innocence for young Chris. No rules were worth following, after all, if The Bastards could punish you for nothing. This was greatly exacerbated by the fact that, according to several of the best lawyers Alton had to offer, the search of Chris' car was unconstitutional as it was not actually parked in the school parking lot, or even on school grounds, at the time of the search. The juvenile court judge would hear none of it though—all the police had done was break Chris' constitutional right to privacy. He had committed the much greater crime of having an eighth ounce of marijuana in his glove compartment.

His claim of having his rights violated incensed the judge, who sentenced our poor Chris to 72 hours in county jail and 12 weeks of rehab. Were it not for his successful, stable family, he would have been sent to juvie.

It was his first offense. He was 16.

Jail, he said, wasn't that bad. He got to do it over a weekend. The guard was an old lady and even though she was kind of a bitch she let him bring in his homework. She said she was surprised to see someone his age in here, with the adults, but whatever he had done it must have been pretty bad or else he wouldn't be here, would he? They kept him away from the drunks at night and the only other people who came into the "pen" (his word, not mine) were guys who got bailed out within a couple of hours and were too pissed off about their own bad luck to give him any shit for his.

What really fucked with him was rehab. It didn’t matter that he'd never smoked a single joint (or even a cigarette) at this time: he was an addict and by gum he had to admit to being an addict before the obese, shit-smelling overseer would sign the form saying that Chris had attended his sessions. Every weekend for three months he was legally forced to lie. Yes, he said, he was an addict. Yes, even though it made no sense in any grammatical or even symbolic context, he was forced to say "my name is Chris and I'm a narcotic." His personal habits were picked apart—why was his hair so long (it wasn't that long, really)? Why did he wear the same pants on Sunday that he wore on Saturday? Who were these "Dead Milkmen" that his T-shirt spoke of? Ohh… and surely this is a good-tempered, Christian punk band, right? No? Well you see right there that's a part of the problem. Have your mother sign a note saying you've thrown out all of their CDs and any other enabling you might own. No—you can't sell them, you must throw them out.

"We had to go in a day and a half every weekend. All day Saturday and then Sunday from noon until 4. It took me five weeks, when I was starting to get comfortable, before I asked if I could come in Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. It worked out better for me that way, since the place where I worked wasn't open Sundays. The fat guy just opened his mouth and would not close it. 'When would you go to church?' he said. By then I knew enough to laugh and say 'oh yeah what was I thinking.'"

A few of the people had actual problems. One guy got caught with meth, was beating the shit out of his wife and his two little girls, and seemed genuinely remorseful. Another guy had to drink a sixer every morning or else he'd get the shakes so bad he wouldn't be able to drive to work. But most of the people there were more or less normal and had either fucked up once or else been fucked over once—got into a bar fight while legally drunk, blew .02 over the legal limit at a roadblock, smoked pot once every few weeks and got narced on by a snitch, that kind of stuff. These people were split over how much they believed the bullshit they were being fed. Those who believed, as the official literature did, that being hungover once in your lifetime or ever drinking more than 4 beers in a sitting two or more times in a month are both signs of hardcore alcoholism, they became repentant and preachy.

One such lady was a thin, tan, well-dressed soccer mom who would snitch on the others when they didn't pay close enough attention to the instructional videos or else would appear in any way to not be taking things seriously enough. If you were bad you got demerits, credit card-sized pieces of construction paper upon which frowny faces and intimidating biblical verses were printed. The overseer would also scribble something down in his notebook, which must have had some kind of official weight because it was on his person at all times.

Most people have an innate desire, however illogical it might often be, to please authority figures, and so Chris and the rest of the doubtful "addicts" thought the embarrassment of getting their reprimand literally handed to them was punishment enough for resting their eyes or letting a stray giggle break loose when the acting in an informational film was especially bad. Chris made only one such mistake. During a lecture, the overseer kept making the point that it wasn't the drugs that people get addicted to—oh no, it's the high that keeps you coming back. Chris smiled—remember at this point he still probably hadn't ever been high, not in his whole life—because it seemed like such a stupid, nonsensical thing to say, because even though he was only 16 he could appreciate moments like this, when the moronic essence of a big, scary process could concentrate itself into a single sentence.

"It's not the drugs: it's the high," the man said. He was very clean shaven, dressed like a detective in a 70s cop show, his hair was combed so straight it was like wire, his glasses were round and cruel looking and he had this, this look on his face, this air about him like he thought he was a genius. He nodded a little bit after the repetition of his idiotic point. Proud—he was actually proud of the things he was saying, proud of his position, proud of getting to fill the heads of desperate or else unfortunate people with nonsense. And this made Chris smile—not laugh, just smile, and the soccer mom pulled on his ear really hard, so hard it made his eyes water, and then she raised her hand to snitch on him. The proud overseer was still proud, looked like a king in an old movie, and with the most serious air Chris had ever seen, the fat man called him up before the entire room. His eyes were still watery from the shock of having his ear nearly yanked up and so he looked down, towards the ground, so people wouldn't think he was crying.

"You ashamed of something," the fat overseer asked. Chris didn't say anything. "Look up," said the overseer. Chris kept looking down. His chest moved in and out heavily and his fists were clenched, and he wasn't sure but he may have been crying normal tears by this point, but they were out of rage, not sadness. Or—no…really what's the difference between those two, and it's impossible that the immense hopelessness of his situation and the utter retardation of his surroundings hadn't saddened somewhat. If it were just rage making him cry then he would have also lashed out, punched the overseer or at least called him a name. No. No, the hopelessness must have stung enough to make him sad. But his tears were out of rage primarily, and out of nothing even close to shame.

"Look up. Now."

He did. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were tightened into red little slits but he looked more defeated than mean, more helpless than threatening.

"I want you all to look at this face. Soak it up. Take it all in. Done? Give you another second. Okay, now you're done. This, people, is what failure looks like. Some of you will see it again, right here. This is what it looks like when you don't take yourself seriously, when you don't care enough about yourself to appreciate the chances that are being given to you."

He extended a demerit card towards the Chris’ face. It was accepted without a whimper.

Weeks later, it came time for Chris and the gang to "graduate" from their classes. By this point, Chris had gotten drunk several times (even puked, once) and tried to smoke pot a few times but it hadn't done anything to him. Maybe he was just too drunk to feel it or he wasn't inhaling right, who knows. Anyhow he figured a few bong hits wouldn't hurt before he had to show up to the ceremony, right, since he hadn't felt anything yet. And, man, it was a blast because he was high as a fucking kite at the graduation, must have shoved 20 inches worth of the party sub into his mouth and downed at least 7 flutes of sparkling grape juice.

His mother and stepfather—both stinking rich, by the way, disheartened by the lad's sudden fall from grace and more than a little pleased to see him making such a fast and exemplary recovery with the aid of such a caring and competent program—were dressed to the nines. His mom was making time with the addicts. This was her wont, the irresistible, flirty friendliness that drove her from the dregs of society (Chris' biological father) all the way to where she was today. While this was going on, Stepfather gracefully let loose to the riffraff around him all those little signs that showed that he was a kind man, but of great consequence. He'd talk about sports while stretching him arm just so, just far enough to let his fancy watch fall into view. He'd offer to lift heavy objects as an excuse to show off his bed-made tan, his gym-toned arms and back. All of your jokes made him smile, but only just long enough for you to get a glimpse of his perfectly straight, snow white teeth. Both of them kept making their way over to Chris, who had stationed himself near the concessions table, to whisper into his ear how proud they were of him for pulling himself around and hint bluntly at him still receiving for his birthday a new car. All the while, through this bleary, more-or-less with it haze, feeling content and calm with his surroundings and his high, Chris kept thinking about how much he had it made. Everyone was a sucker, it seemed, but him. Really, wow. Everyone is stupid but me.

The soccer mom cut quickly around the room, stopping alongside each cluster of people and telling them that something important was about to happen, it was time for everyone to walk into the little classroom where they normally met. "You're not gonna want to miss this" she said, looking right into Chris with a mean little smile on her face that she knew would scare him. Oh god, Chris though, she knew that he was high. What was she in here for—ooh shit man, you've heard her talk about it 100 times. Vicodin, right. Vicodin and wine, passing out while one of her kids started a fire. That's right. Calm down. She wouldn't have known what someone looked like when he was high on pot. Mom and Stepfather couldn't even tell and they saw Chris every day. Calm down.

Chris shoved a few more bites of party sub into his mouth. His mom laughed and said "getting better must make you work up an appetite, huh?" Stepfather laughed. Chris couldn't say anything, not even by the time they had walked all the way into the classroom and sat down on little folding chairs, because there was so much sandwich in his mouth. Things began to quiet down within a couple of minutes. The overseer, smiling, poked his head out of his office and waved to the small crowd. People clapped a little bit. Chris noticed that "AWARDS RECEPTION" had been written on the blackboard with colored chalk, the letters alternating blue to red, blue to red. A stack of certificates sat on the table up front. The overseer waddled to the table and gestured towards his office and a large, black policeman walked from office to the entrance. He looked all business. There was another one who poked his head out from the office and then the overseer was still smiling, like the soccer mom he was wearing big, mean, fake smile and Chris sunk into his chair and moaned a little bit because he knew he was about to get arrested, again. Arrested in front of his parents.

Mom asked stepfather what the policemen were hear for the stepfather said—ahh the great rational bastard, it was all Chris could do to stop himself from hugging him—that since this was an official presentation, court mandated and all that, they must have some cops come and witness it. That's all it was. Nothing to get too upset about. Still—gotta stay calm. If the cops took no notice of Chris then they wouldn't take any notice of his being so incredibly fucking high.

"Well," the overseer began. Chris was hyperobservant and noncritical and he realized for the first time how long it took the overseer to get through sentences, because of all of his fat. He'd pause every few words and take in a deep breath from his gut. When he spoke it was in these bursts that were effeminately condescending but still bulky and powerful. Like, if being told you were bad by a sharp-tongued gay man didn't hurt you then maybe being yelled at by an abusive gym coach would. Only he wasn't a gym coach and probably wasn't gay, either. Talked about his wife and kids all the time. This was an act. He had measured out this persona for himself. This was some kind of cruel professionalism.

Jesus, Chris thought to himself. Pot fucks up the way you think about things. How long had it been since they sat down? How long since he'd been scared by the cops? When was the guy going to start talking—ohh, wait he's already talking. Might want to listen:

"And this is what this program is supposed to achieve: smiling faces. Not just the smiling faces of those who are on roads to recovery—their own personal roads—but of their families and their friends. The selfishness might end here. The pain they have caused you, that they are sorry for, might end here. But it's up to everyone here to make sure that all of these faces keep smiling."

He paused—too long. Wanted people to clap for him. They did. Then they finished. He continued. His tone was different. He had sounded like he was reading off a card. Now he sounded more like he normally did, during classes.

"But it would be… hypocritical of me to let everyone who came here leave here, especially… if I knew that they would be making people start… to cry sometime soon. Two of our friends will not be graduating today."

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

"The first… Rup-ERT Donwiddle."

Ahh. Okay. That guy—white guy, lots of scars—never even showed up after the first day. He wasn't even here. Chris sunk his head into his lap, like he was stretching or about to puke, while the overseer mumbled about how Rubert had squandered his chance for recovery and blah blah blah.

"Rufus failed… due to lack of initiative. He didn't come. But every time we have this course, it seems… there is someone who does come… but who shows such disrespect that he might as well not have"

The overseer's tone changed, again, abruptly but not in a way that seemed unplanned. He was talking somewhere in between the rehearsed tone he'd used earlier and the mumbling, jumbled tone he used during regular meetings. The air shifted around Chris. It felt like strategy, men moving into position in order to accomplish some kind of task or anticipate some kind of resistance. The bigger cop stood by the door that led to the outside, blocking it. Meanwhile the guys who had missed the most class and been handed the most demerits began to shift in their seats a little bit while their wives looked at them in white fear, the sterile blank walls felt like they were closing in—that's what expression actually meant, when it actually feels like the room you are in just got smaller, more oppressive—and the big fat fuck who ran the place worse the biggest fatfuck smile Chris had ever seen and he if had dropped dead of a heart attack no one with a mind or soul would have gotten up to help him. In spite of all of this, the synchronization was such that Chris couldn't work up any fear. He was too busy admiring the evil of the whole process.

Chris took to talking to the soccer mom, a few months later, as part of some revenge scheme that never quite materialized. He had first planned on sleeping with the woman and ruining her marriage. When that didn’t work out he thought about maybe figuring out the vulnerabilities of her home and passing that knowledge on to some unseemly sorts who, god willing, would have raped, robbed, and kill her. He didn't do that, though, for the same reason he didn't speak up during the meeting when the police were blocking off the door and overseer was smiling the very worst smile the world had ever seen: because the woman's evil was so immense that he could barely process it, could do little else, in fact, aside from sitting back and admiring it. What he learned from her, after she had opened up to him and filled him on all the details, was that if you didn't pass the rehab course it counted as either a violation of your parole or else as a violation of your court sentence, so your failure was akin to skipping bail trying to escape from prison. That's to say it was a Very Serious offense, one that could put you in prison for a long, long time. And what the overseer hadn't told to anybody but the soccer mom, who was his favorite, was that his policy was that out of every class there had to be at least one addict who failed to pass in spite of showing up, one person who because of this or that reason simply did not deserve to consider his or her self cured of their addiction. That's what the demerits were for. Whoever got the most failed the course. You couldn't tell the whole class about this since then the people who got the most demerits early on would have stopped coming all together. On top of that, if you got into a situation where a few weeks in one guy had racked up 20 or 30 demerits, then that more or less lightens the stakes for everyone else. They'll start mouthing off or falling asleep since they know they'll never make up enough demerits to catch the worst guy, and then by the end of it you'd have been better off not doing any sort of demerit system at all. No—no, the trick was to keep it a surprise. That had two positives: one, you catch the guy by surprise and make sure he gets what's coming to him. Two, you put the fear of god into the others who are all sitting around watching. That's when they got taught what happens if you don't respect the things you should.

All Chris knew at the time of meeting was that the balding factory worker, Hank was his name, was getting pulled up really unnecessarily roughly by the cop, had his arms thrown behind his back, and was getting cuffed and pushed out of the room while his teenage daughter was screaming in abject terror and his wife was burying her head in her hands and then the two women sat there while the smiling overseer berated Hank, talked about how he needed to learn how to accept help and how this was for the good of him and his family and You two ladies should stop crying, it's pointless, what you need right now is strength, loyalty, and conviction. Hank had blown .02 over the legal limit at a road block. He insisted he hadn't had a drop to drink in months, not since his first DUI, that he couldn't perform the heel-to-toe sobriety test successfully because of a fully documented injury he had sustained during Desert Storm and that the alcohol on his breath—which came up on only one of the 5 breathalyzers he was given—must have been from gum or mouthwash or cologne or something. His parole was zero tolerance, though, and so he found himself at the meetings. Every week he told the overseer that something he had said was bullshit. He wouldn't say "My name is Hank and I'm a narcotic," he said, because that is just fucking stupid. He wouldn't apologize for hurting anybody because he hadn't hurt anybody. He wouldn't lie for the sake of lying because goddamn it that's not what this country is about.

And for that he went to prison.

Coming face-to-face with the reality of just how cruel and unfair the system is can, especially for a teenager, lead to a distrust so strong and all encompassing that it borders on despair. This distrust can, sometimes, be healthy and inspire you to try and change things. More often, it can grow into full-blown hatred, a maniacal desire to change things or to right wrongs that leads you to do something rash or destructive. Still more often, it leads to a sense of defeatism, a feeling that you can't win since the system is so fucked so why the hell should you even try. At least, that's what I gather from hearing Chris talk about it. That's probably what I would have done if something like that would have happened to me. I would have given up and failed.

And for the longest time Chris had given up and had failed. He drank and drugged and destroyed. This made him a blast to hang out with. This was when he still lived in Alton and I would see him once every few months, when I was at home visiting my family. My sister moved to Garden City to attend the university at which I now teach. Most of her friends soon followed suit. He was left behind. As I am self-absorbed to the point where I don't care about my friend's lives except for when their stories are particularly miserable or amusing, I don't know much about this time period except that it saw Chris turning things somewhat around. Not by much. He still drinks far too much. But he's in school now—he's at the school where I teach, actually, although I've never had him for a student.

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lexosaurus · 4 years ago

Text

Everything Was White Part 13

[see all chapters]

read on: [ffn] / [ao3]

General Warning: From this point on this fic is going to deal with reoccurring themes that may be triggering to some. Please check out the ao3 tags if you’re unsure.

---

Muffled voices pulled him from the comfort of unconsciousness, shaking his mind awake despite his feeble attempts to brush them off. For a moment, he thought about trying to tell the voices to keep it down, but that would have been too much effort, and he was so comfortable in this blanket and pillow…

…

...the voices rose in volume, this time gaining clarity, shape. Almost words. Close, but not quite. Not yet. Danny wasn’t ready. Five more minutes, he was so tired…

“...Danny…”

Wait.

What was that?

His eyes fluttered open, and he immediately took stock of his unfamiliar surroundings. He was...not in his bedroom. He was in his living room, on the couch where he must have fallen asleep after his almost mental breakdown over a glass of water.

How embarrassing. Danny hoped that no one spotted the water glass on the rug. Or, if they had, they hadn’t thought anything about it. Hadn’t figured out that it was on the floor because Danny tried to get water from the sink without using his wheelchair.

Maybe they wouldn’t connect the dots. Honestly, the thought of seeing that pitying expression on their faces as they watched him fail to do a stupidly simple task made him want to fall into a coma.

Oh well. He was awake now. Might as well go get something to eat to make his family and therapists proud.

Just as he was about to toss the blanket off his body, Jazz’s quiet voice sounded from the kitchen. “You can’t keep the truth from him forever.”

“We can, at least for now,” his dad said.

“It’s not going to work.”

Danny froze, the last of his fatigue zapped from his brain.

What truth? What were they talking about? What was going on in there?

He debated standing up and announcing his presence, but the blossoming sense of dread in his gut kept him still.

Whatever was going on, he had a sinking feeling that it was about him.

His mother spoke up. “We have to. It’s for his own safety.”

“It’s wrong,” Jazz countered. “It’s wrong to keep secrets like this.”

“I know, Jazz. But if we told Danny, he…”

His eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat.

Tell him what?

“Jazz, you have to understand. With Danny in the position that he’s in right now, there are just certain limitations that we need in this house in order to stay on top of his recovery,” Jack explained.

“But cutting him off from his core?”

It was as if he were punched in the gut. He clenched the blanket, balling the edges in his fists. His instincts were screaming at him to jump up and demand the truth, but he buried that part of him back down inside his mind.

They would never tell him. They didn’t trust him enough. He wasn’t human enough.

But they always trusted Jazz. They favored her. She was the ideal child with her perfect grades, perfect ambitions, perfect brain.

Even if they wouldn’t tell him, of course they would tell her.

“We have to do it, honey. We have no choice,” Maddie said.

“You see how he’s reacting to this though, right? He’s not himself.”

“We know, but it’s what needs to be done. He can’t be given access to his core, not right now.”

Why though, Dad? Tell me why...

“This is cruel,” Jazz said.

There was a brief pause, each second like a knife in Danny’s chest. He wanted so badly to snap, but he forced himself to stay still. To stay silent.

To listen.

There was a sigh, and Maddie broke the silence. “You have no idea how much it hurts us to see him like this. We know it isn’t right to keep a ghost from its core but...at the school that day. Jazz, I’ve never seen him like that. And it terrified me.”

Danny felt his blood drain from his face. His body turned ice cold.

He knew what they were talking about, and he assumed that that day was a distant memory in the past, something that would never be talked about again. And yet, here his parents were, digging up the most humiliating moment in Danny’s life, throwing it at his face like a weapon of why he couldn’t possibly be allowed his ghost half, why he needed to be shut off from himself.

“He’s come a long way since then.”

“Not long enough.”

They didn’t know. They didn’t understand what it was like. They weren’t there, they weren’t the ones who were cut open, who were beaten, who spent all day in and out looking at white walls, white floors, white suits, white ceilings, white equipment.

He hadn’t been himself that day at the school. He’d just come home from the hospital, he was coming off of a cocktail of heavy pain medication, he was physically exhausted from the PT and mentally exhausted from everything else.

Okay, so he snapped in the locker room. He’d been pushed back into school, pushed into being around people, pushed into acting normal, like nothing was wrong, and the world was warping around him and he just fell apart. He freaked out, he broke a mirror, Dash and Kwan found him, and he paid the consequences for it.

“I don’t think he’d do that again.”

“You don’t know that, Jazz.”

“But his Obsession—”

“It’s protection. Phantom will make him do whatever it can in order to protect itself. Even if that means…”

It.

The word echoed in Danny’s head.

You’re an it.

Something inside him cracked.

His vision glazed over, and suddenly the two students in Casper he’d hoped to never cross paths with again were standing over him, approaching cautiously, as if he were a wounded animal.

“Give me the glass, Danny,” Dash had said. “You don’t need it. Just give it to me, I’ll hang onto it for you. I’ll keep it safe.”

He looked down, and blood trickled through his fingers, splattering onto the white tile.

It was red. Why was it red?

Crack.

Maddie’s voice faded back into his consciousness. “We just can’t risk it.”

“So what, your genius idea is to keep lying to him about why you won’t take the chip out? Feed him some bullshit excuse about the lab? Danny’s a human but he’s also a ghost! You can’t keep him from his core and expect him to turn out okay!”

“We know that.”

“No, you clearly don’t!”

“Keep your voice down, hun. He’s asleep.”

“Then stop lying to him. Tell him the real reason why you won’t give him Phantom back.”

Danny couldn’t breathe.

His parents. The people who had gone to court for him, who fought so hard to get him home, who assured him that they’d go to the moon and back if it meant keeping him safe.

He trusted them.

And they...they just…

Crack.

“You know we can’t do that,” his father said. “You said it yourself, Danny’s just as much human as he is ghost. Ghosts don’t have the capacity to think rationally about something like that.”

They just…

“Kwan, get Lancer.”

He didn’t understand. Why were those two here?

“Please, give me the mirror, Danny.”

No, they didn’t get it. He needed this. This was the only thing he could do, it was the only way out. He couldn’t let Operative O take his body again.

“Danny...”

They were afraid, he realized. They thought he was going to hurt them. He was a rabid animal, wasn’t he? And they thought he would attack them?

Another drop of blood splashed onto the tile.

Crack.

Jazz scoffed. “I cannot believe you would just—”

“He’s fragile, Jazz!” Maddie protested. “Whatever happened in the government facility changed him. He’s not the same boy he used to be, something inside him is fundamentally different now. Frankly, we have no idea how that has affected his Obsession.”

His head spun.

They lied to him.

“What, so the better option is to just cut him off from his core altogether and force him to play human all day? Great plan, Mom.”

“If that’s what we need to do to keep him safe, then yes, that is the better option.”

The mirror shattered, the pieces raining down, echoing as they bounced against the tiles. He watched with unfocused eyes as everything around him crumbled.

His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out the arguing voices in the kitchen. He fell to the floor and clutched a broken shard.

He needed...he needed to...

Protect.

Danny saw red.

His lips moved before he could stop them. “I thought you’d accepted me.”

The argument from the kitchen came to a screeching halt.

“Danny! I didn’t—”

“No!” Danny pushed himself to a seated position.

They kept him from his core on purpose.

His parents, after all those painstaking hours in family therapy, all that talk about how they were a team and how they needed to work together, had lied to him.

They weren’t a team. They had never been a team. Danny was just…

He was just a ghost to them.

An irrational, stupid, ectoplasmic creature.

They scrambled from the kitchen, moving into the living room with fear strewn across their faces.

They hate ghosts. You know this, Fenturd. They hate you.

“We do accept you, Danno. We love you.”

They didn’t love him.

“We were just trying to protect you. Please understand, Danny,” Maddie begged.

They’re scared of you. They don’t know what it means to protect. They’re lying.

“Danny, you need to understand—”

“SHUT UP!” Danny gripped his hair with his hands, covering his ears to quiet the hurricane of emotions devastating his mind. “Shut up, shut up!”

He didn’t know whether to laugh, scream, or cry. After all this talk, his parents had never accepted him as a ghost at all.

“I’m so sorry, son,” Jack said.

“I can’t—I can’t!” Danny spat out. He had a thousand different responses swirling through his brain, so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t. His brain wasn’t working, his voice wasn’t working, and everything he saw was painted in blood.

They lied to him.

“I—you—”

“Danny, you need to breathe,” Jazz said, but Danny could recognize that tone. That was the same voice she used when trying to calm down the neighbor’s hyperactive dog that had a bad habit of finding ways out of its fence.

Danny ripped his head out of his arms, swiveling up to meet the concerned gazes of his family. “Shut up! I’m not a fucking dog!”

“Danny, I never—”

“Stop treating me like a fucking animal! I’m not—I’m not!” Danny attempted to grip the coffee table to push himself up, but he only succeeded in falling back onto the couch. He cursed and blinked away the mist that clouded his vision because he was not crying right now. His parents did not get to see that.

Maddie jumped forward. “Careful!”

“No, shut the fuck up!” Danny yelled. “You don’t get to—to be concerned! You don’t get that!”

Maddie stepped back, looking as if someone slapped her across the face.

“Danny, please, calm down,” Jack tried.

If anything, the red lining in his vision only deepened. “No! I won’t, and you don’t—don’t—ah!” Danny hit his forehead with his hand, frustration clawing at his throat.

There was so much he wanted to say, but he physically couldn’t get it out. He couldn’t stand, he couldn’t talk, he could only sit here drowning in rage.

His body was betraying him.

His parents could fix this right now if they wanted to. They could take him down to the lab, remove the chip, give Danny any semblance of freedom back. They could do that.

But they stood there doing nothing.

They like you like this. Helpless. Grounded. Easy to control.

“You lied to me! You knew—you fucking—my core isn’t even damaged, is it?”

Jack wrapped his arm around Maddie, who hadn’t even bothered to wipe away the tears that had spilled on her cheeks.

Because of him.

They hate you.

“Is it?” Danny pressed, but he didn’t need a response. He knew the answer. He knew the truth.

It was written all over his parents' faces.

“Was my core ever damaged? At all?”

“It was, but—”

Danny shook his head in disbelief. “Cores are self-re—self-regenerating. I—I knew that. I knew that! It—it was healed before I left the hospital, right?”

His parents refused to meet his eyes.

“You lied to me. All this time, and—and you...you just…” Danny tried to stand up again, but failed. “I’m so fucking sick of this!”

“Danny, please understand. We only did it because we needed to protect you.”

“Protect me?” He let out a sardonic laugh. “You thought—you seriously thought you were—you were fucking protecting me? Do you not...even see? I can’t—I can’t even fucking stand up! I can’t stand! I can’t do anything! And you thought you were protecting me? Are you serious?”

Jack’s lips thinned. “Danny, do you not realize how close we were to losing you? And I don’t mean to the government. You blasted a school mirror and then tried to use one of the pieces to kill yourself! I mean, come on, son!”

Danny lurched back, stunned. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself!”

“Then what were you trying to do, huh?” Jack shouted back. “Because not even a few hours after we dropped you off back at school, we get a call from Mr. Lancer saying a few students found you in the locker room threatening suicide because you thought you were back with the government! What do you expect us to think, Danny? We’re your parents.”

“Shut up!” Danny squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the flashes of memory that threatened to surface.

“Jack—”

“No, Maddie—”

They hate you.

His throat burned. “Shut up!”

It wasn’t fair. His parents weren’t being fair. That incident—that was a fluke. An anomaly. And yet they were punishing Danny for something that happened weeks ago, before he went through the painstaking ordeal of inpatient and psychiatry and the PHP and the whole other host of therapies he’d been forced into.

“What was the point in sending me to—to inpatient then? If you were just going to keep treating me like a stupid animal?”

“Danny, we’re not treating you like an animal.”

“You sure as hell got me caged up like one!”

“Don’t talk to your mother that way!”

“Jack, honey—”

“Everyone, please calm down!”

“Stay out of this, Jazz!”

“Danny, I think—”

“I don’t care what you think!”

“Guys—”

“I NEED MY CORE!” Danny screamed, the sob finally tearing its way out of his throat.

His family fell into a deafening silence, and Danny could feel their stares as ugly sobs overtook him, ripping down any semblance of an emotional wall he’d managed to construct over these weeks.

His tears boiled on his skin, and he dug his hands in his hair in a desperate attempt to ground himself. But it didn’t matter, his body shook uncontrollably, his emotions burning through his throat leaving him gasping for air.

All while his parents stood there ten feet away from him. Frozen, unwilling to approach. Because he was a halfa, a monster, broken, unstable, trapped, feared. He was the demon that parents warned their children about, the thing that his parents had dedicated their careers to developing weapons against, a creature so dangerous that the government had funded an entire group to research and exterminate.

And up until two months ago, it was legal for him to be vivisected, to be experimented on, to be tortured to the point of paralysis.

He rocked back and forth, struggling to piece himself back together. And when he could make it through a shuddering breath without breaking down again, all he could do was croak out, “Why…”

His parents remained unmoving, faces pale, arms by their sides. Tears streaked his mother’s and sister’s cheeks, and his father’s unblinking gaze bore down on him.

But their silence wasn’t good enough, their sorrow and tears weren’t good enough. An invisible wall was growing between them with each passing second and they couldn’t even see it.

They know. They’re doing it on purpose. They don’t care about you.

“Why?” Danny insisted. “How could—how could you...how could you do this to me? I’m...I just…”

“We had to, son,” his father said. The moonlight cast a shadow over his face. “It was for your own safety.”

No. Danny was done with the lies. Done with the excuses.

He was done.

Flaring his eyes, he bit back, “My safety, or yours?”

His parents flinched, and Danny couldn’t find himself to care. They’d lied to him, they’d dug their hole, so now they had to live in it.

“Danny, please…” Jazz stepped forward. “Don’t do this.”

“No! You—don’t you get it?” Danny pleaded. “I can’t—Mom, Dad, I feel like a prisoner. I’m trapped in my body. I can’t—I can’t live like this anymore! I can’t fucking do it! You have no idea...and you don’t even care!”

“Of course we care, Danno.”

“Then why? Tell me the truth! Please, tell me why because—” His voice broke, and his head fell back into his hands. “Please...tell me why…”

Jack sighed. “It was just the decision we felt we needed to make. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t something we did because we wanted to hurt you. We love you, son. And we just wanted to know that you were safe.”

“We love you so much, sweetie.”

But they were blind because he wasn’t safe. And he was never going to be safe again. There would always be someone out there who had power over him, who wanted to control and erase him.

If they loved you, they would have listened.

They’re scared of you.

He glanced up to see Jack putting his arm around Maddie, pulling her in close. Jazz stood behind them, allowing their shadows to overtake her body.

Jazz said something, but Danny wasn’t listening. He didn’t care. He was trapped and completely alone. There would be no protests, no online petitions, and no jury on his side. No one to rescue him.

“Then give it—give me my core back.”

Jack shook his head. “I’m sorry son. We’ve made our decision.”

“I’ll find a way,” Danny insisted. “I know some ghosts. I’ll get them to—to take it out. You can’t...you—you can’t stop me.”

“Danny, I don’t think even Frostbite could—”

“You don’t know that, Jazz! He could—he could do it. He would figure it out if I asked.”

His parents exchanged a look, one reminiscent of the exasperation when Danny would tell them that the detention hadn’t been his fault, that he did try to do the homework assignment, that he would try harder next time.

They didn’t believe him.

“He’ll do it,” he reiterated.

“Danny, we’re not going to let any ghosts near you right now.”

“Like that ever worked before,” he retorted.

There was a pregnant pause, and Danny looked away. He felt nauseous, and anxiety speared through his chest.

“Please, I can’t—I can’t live like this. I can’t…”

He knew how desperate he sounded, but for once he didn’t care. His parents were going to kill him by keeping his core locked up.

Right now it was about self-preservation. If he couldn’t protect himself, it was over.

“Graduate from the PHP program first,” Maddie finally said. “Once you’re back in school, then we can talk, alright? We’ll talk about...about removing the chip.”

Danny whipped his head up, his eyes searching for any signs that she was lying, that she was going to pull the rug out from under him again.

But her face betrayed nothing.

“Graduate?” Danny breathed. “I just have to...graduate?”

“Yes. Show us that you’re okay enough to go back to school, and you can have your ghost half back.”

“I…” He tugged at his hair. “But that’s...that’s weeks…’

Maddie crossed her arms. “Those are my terms.”

Time slowed, and the distance between them only seemed to grow. He knew he was already behind leaving the PHP center that he was almost certain there was talk of shoving him back into inpatient.

But they didn’t get it. It wasn’t his fault, it was the government stalking him. It was Vlad. He had no choice, and he would never be able to graduate PHP. Not without his core.

“I—but—but, Mom. I need—”

“Son,” his dad said sharply. “I understand how difficult this is for you, but you’re not in a place where we can trust you right now. This is our compromise. Show us we can trust you, and you can have your freedom back.”

His eyes stung, and his throat was starting to squeeze shut.

No…

“Do we have a deal?”

This was impossible.

Even if Frostbite had a way of removing the chip, Danny had no way of finding him. Not without Clockwork’s interference, who didn’t seem to have any interest in contacting Danny as of late.

The thought of Clockwork left a sour taste in Danny’s mouth. He hadn’t thought of the ancient ghost since his nights in the government compound, his body splayed out like a rag doll, shivering from shock. He remembered staring into the pitch black abyss around him begging for Clockwork to come help him.

But his calls were never answered.

Danny knew Clockwork could have freed him whenever he wanted, government ghost shields be damned. But he didn’t. And that made him just as guilty as everyone else.

And now Danny was alone, bound by his human physiology and his ghost hunter parents.

He had no choice.

“Okay. It’s—it’s a deal.”

---

His body was cold, dead, with waves of trembling coming in and out in spurts. Every breath hurt, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the burning in his chest, the soreness in his throat, or the way the alien warmth in his core seemed more overbearing than ever.

He could feel it, the hand reaching between his ribs, gripping his core with its warm, gloved fingers. It was revolting, violating, how the hands invaded his body, tearing off his skin and ribs as if he were nothing but a rotting carcass.

He felt dizzy. Lightheaded. He put a hand on his chest, crinkling his shirt in his fist. It was his core, he needed to protect it.

But he was useless. Nothing. He was at the mercy of his parents who were all but holding a loaded gun to his head while telling him to trust them. Who lied to him that they accepted him, that they were there for him.

That they loved him.

He was stupid, so stupid. After all the months of hearing them enthusiastically discuss the ways they’d love to rip him apart, what made him think they’d love him just like that?

Their acceptance was conditional, and their conditions were impossible for him to meet. How the hell did they expect him to graduate from PHP and reenter society like a normal person while they were drowning his core like this? Did they not see how badly he was suffocating? How much he was screaming, thrashing in the ocean for air, desperately trying to fight the undertow pulling him further and further away from his sanity?

He wasn’t going to make it. He was going to fail, he was going to drown. He couldn’t do this.

But there’s one way, a small voice in his head whispered. You’ve done it before and you were fine. It helped you.

His eyes trailed over to his nightstand with his old model rocket sitting proudly on top. He had never flushed the oxycodone.

Maybe…maybe…

It can help you again.

He just needed to graduate the PHP program and he would get his core back and then everything would be okay. He could work on his problems the right way later. The way he was supposed to be doing it, that he couldn’t do right now because he was still missing half of himself.

Two weeks. That was all he needed. Just two weeks worth of medication, and then he’d be on his way.

You need this.

He pushed himself up as if he were a puppet on strings. Everything was bleak, gray-washed and oppressive. Nausea rolled over him in waves and a hand gripped his throat, pulling the oxygen from his body.

The nightstand glowed in the moonlight, and like a moth Danny felt himself drawn closer to it. Tunnel vision took over, and the world morphed into a series of photos in a time lapse. Snapshot after snapshot flickered past his eyes until a hand—his hand—was pulling the drawer open to reveal an orange bottle inside.

You’re ready.

He couldn’t live like this anymore.

The fear, the anxiety, his core. It was all so much easier before, back in the hospital. Back when the only thing he had to worry about was what constellation he was going to draw that day. Back before he had to face the public, his family, or Vlad. Back before he knew that the government had his phone tapped and was watching his every move.

Back before he knew that his freedom was only temporary.

He was a sitting duck, a kid trapped in no man’s land with no weapon, no armor, nothing to keep him alive.

“Two weeks,” he whispered. Two weeks and then he would be okay. He would graduate from PHP, he would get to go back to school, he would become a regular person again. He just needed to get there first.

He opened the bottle and shook out a small white pill into the palm of his hand.

Two weeks.

Tilting his head back, he tossed the pill into his mouth, took a sip of water, and swallowed.

There.

It was done.

---

Thank you @imekitty for beta-ing the fic as well as helping me organize my plot better!

Thanks for reading!

---

#danny phantom #everything was white #chapter 13 #breakdown #EWW #my writing #phicc

93 notes · View notes

moronic-validity · 3 years ago

Note

Okey so I saw that ur requests where up?if not then I won’t take offence to you ignoring this I can be dumb sometimes😅

Anywho! If you wouldn’t mind of course could I get Asa Emory with a delinquent M!S/O? Idm what else you do with it I just love the idea of someone who would like punch Asa and not bat an eye and clashes with dominance I guess?

Thank you!!🥰

Hi Asa Nonnie! I decided to goa bit...off with it and I broke the reader! Well, Asa did.

This is a 2k fic, I was going to make it longer... If y'all want a part 2, let me know!

Warnings: Canon-typical ish violence! Just a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome, maybe more self preservation than anything else.

This fic is not 18+, but I will say it’s like...not completely sfw

You knew this guy had a PhD and owned a fairly lucrative fix-it company.

You hoped this guy had some work equipment you could take to the pawn shop.

You had been watching the house for about a week, making note of his comings and goings, assuring yourself that he lived alone. This man functioned on a tight schedule and you could map it down to the minute. There was only one thing that caught you off guard.

He didn’t have a security system.

It almost threw you off his house.

Almost.

You waited until he left for the night, somewhere around 8 p.m. He wouldn’t be back for hours. You knew as long as you were quiet, his neighbors wouldn’t even blink. He even left his garage open.

This guy really is clueless, you thought to yourself, nearly wanting to laugh at the man, this is going to be a piece of cake.

Asa drove off down the block. He was going to give you about 45 minutes to get into his home and begin your search for loot. He checked his watch and tapped his steering wheel impatiently. He wanted to save himself the effort of replacing his windows or locks and left the garage door open for you.

You walked in, careful to not make too much noise. His house was absurdly pristine, if you didn’t know someone lived there, you’d have assumed it was a model home. You wandered towards the bedrooms and took care to step over the wire on the floor. You had no idea what it was attached to, but the last thing you needed was to knock something over.

Asa parked on the curb across from his house. He hummed to himself, happy to see your nondescript grey car with the conveniently missing tags still parked in his garage, out of view from his neighbors.

So smart, he thought to himself, yet far too careless.

Asa nodded to a passing neighbor, a greeting exchanged as the other continued their walk.

Once he was in his garage, he pulled on his gloves and mask. He entered his house silently, not wanting to alert the would-be thief. He watched as you entered his room and touch his bed.

You had to marvel at the impeccable condition this man kept his house in. You ghosted your fingers along the sheets of his bed. They were high quality, you assumed. Higher quality than you had ever owned. You looked across the room, unaware of the man approaching from behind until he was within arm’s length. You planted your feet, twisted, and threw a punch with your entire body weight behind it.

Asa wasn’t expecting you to hit him.

Asa certainly wasn’t expecting it to hurt the way it did.

The fight that ensued left both of you bloody, but while you seemed tired, the other man seemed excited. Almost thrilled to have someone to beat the shit out of.

He had backed you out into the hall, and this time, you weren’t careful, and you tripped over the wire you had intentionally avoided the first time. The rug on the floor came up and enveloped you, blacking out everything.

It was a trap.

This man had booby trapped his house.

You thought about the predictable schedule, the lack of a security system, and the open garage door.

This was never an easy score, not for you at least.

Asa chuckled to himself before finding one of his spare crates. He cut you down, dropping you and the rug into the container. You were kicking and screaming, fighting against it, but stronger people had put up better fights, and still wound up added to his collection. You were no different, though definitely more amusing.

He took off his mask and gloves and headed towards his bathroom. He prodded at the growing bruise and shook his head. You had landed a few good shots. His lip was split, there was the bruise forming along his left cheek and up along his brow, he knew his knuckles were split and that if he had bothered to check, his ribs were probably bruised.

He carefully cleaned his lip and knuckles before returning his attention to where you were stored on the floor.

He had plans for you.

He dragged the crate out into his driveway, once again acknowledging one of his neighbors. They exchanged pleasantries as you attempted to rock the box over.

“Feisty ones this time Asa?” His neighbor joked, looking at the trunk.

You nearly froze. Was this a regular occurrence? Did this guy just...kidnap people?

“Only a little bit,” Asa said with a happy sounding sigh, “I’ve been lucky enough to study him alone for roughly a week now, just time to take him back to where he belongs.”

“Seems like he doesn’t want to go,” his neighbor laughed, “Need some help loading him up?”

You screamed, but it was muffled. You felt yourself being lifted and before long, you were set down and slid until you hit a wall.

You heard a door shut.

Before long, the vehicle was moving. You were folded in an uncomfortable position and every time he took a turn, you slid until you hit another panel of the van.

You had to shut your eyes to avoid getting motion sick.

Once the van was parked, he hauled the trunk along with him.

You had no idea where you were, but you knew as soon as he opened the crate, you were going to start swinging.

You tried to map the turns he took so you could get out of the building, but after the eighth or ninth turn, you were lost.

Finally, he set you down. You could hear him doing something across the room.

Then he unlatched the case.

You tumbled out, clumsily finding your footing. Your vision was swimming, but you attempted to punch your kidnapper anyway. Asa dodged it with ease and shoved you.

You fell then scrambled back to your feet, setting up to tackle him.

Asa stepped to the side and watched you run into the floor. He smiled. He was going to have fun with this. He walked over to your still recovering form, pulled the waist band of your pants down, and stuck you with the needle he set up before letting you out. Nothing more than a mild paralytic. He wanted you awake for this.

You were numb. You couldn’t lift your arms or legs if you tried, and you did. You felt him lift you up and place you on a table that you didn’t even realize was in the room. He picked up your arm and started an IV. You could see the stand in your peripheral. You hoped to God that it was just saline.

Asa picked up a pair of trauma shears off the counter and cut away your pants and shirt. He had to make sure that he hadn’t damaged his newest toy. He noted that your chest was covered in bruises, but other than one that looked particularly dark, he was sure you were going to be fine.

You cold tell it was cold and you felt your clothes being pulled away. You’d cover yourself if you could move your arms.

Asa considered his options. He could easily skin you if he wanted to. Use you for a new addition to his prized collection.

But you were interesting.

Interesting didn’t come along every day.

He checked his watch. You probably had another three or four hours until the paralytic wore off. He covered your body with a blanket and sat down, watching and waiting until you were moving again.

Your eyelids were so heavy and the blanket he covered you with was so warm. Despite the fear you felt, you couldn’t help yourself falling asleep.

You woke up to your IV being tugged. You turned your head and regarded the man carefully. You didn’t want to swing on him and wind up getting drugged again, but you also didn’t want to stay here. He wasn’t unattractive and frankly speaking, in any other situation, that didn’t start with robbery and end with a kidnapping, you probably would’ve asked him out for coffee.

“Asa, right?” Your voice was hoarse, he looked at you like he was trying to figure out how he wanted to pin you to the wall, “What do you want with me?”

Asa chuckled.

“What do I want with you,” he chuckled again, shaking his head, “What did you want with me? What were you hoping to steal?”

“I don’t think we can really compare the pair here,” you said, almost wanting to laugh, “Kidnapping and theft are on two different levels,”

You sat up on the table, letting the blanket fall over your lap.

Asa took a step back, his hand on the shears he used to remove your clothes.

“You’re interesting. I tend to enjoy the company of interesting people.” He answered, leaving no room for further questioning.

You two watched each other, each waiting for the other to make a move.

“Lay back down.” Asa commanded, and you laughed in his face.

“I’m not a dog,” you started, before he put his hands on your chest and forced you back down onto the table, securing you in place with straps you didn’t know were there.

It occurred to you that this was not the first time you missed the small details that gave him advantage.

“Disobey or question me again and I put you back in the box. You’ll only come out when I decide I want your company,” he tightened the straps, “Listen to me and things will be significantly easier for you.”

You acted before you thought about it. You turned your head and spit on him.

The laugh Asa let out made you regret every choice you made in the last 48 hours.

You weren’t sure how long he locked you in the trunk. You knew that everything hurt. You were sure that you’d be stuck in this uncomfortable position even after the case was opened.

Asa locked you in the box for about an hour. He had timed it. It gave him a moment to take his frustrations out on a different unfortunate soul.

Asa adjusted his clothes before reentering the room he was keeping you in. He knew there was blood on his shoes, still wet and fragrant.

He undid the straps on the case and let it fall open. You fell over, onto the floor, not bothering to get up.

Asa shook his head.

“I want you to lick my shoe.” Asa moved his shoe directly in front of your face.

“Why?” you were scared to refuse, not wanting to get put in the box again.

“Because my shoe is dirty,” he crossed his arms, “and I want you to clean it.”

You stalled. Asa bent down to drag you back into the box.

“No no no no no,” you started panicking; you stuck your tongue out and he let go of your arm. You could tell it was blood based off of scent alone and as disgusted as you were, you’d do anything on earth to avoid being shoved back in the dark.

He stood back up and watched as you started to lick his shoe with broad strokes. The tears were flowing freely down your face and Asa had never seen something so beautiful in his life.

You were broken.

It was so much easier than Asa could’ve dreamed.

He watched patiently as you cried and begged and worshiped his bloody shoe.

You had still disobeyed him.

He still locked you back in the box, crying and screaming.

He set the timer for about forty-seven minutes, not even bothering to leave the room. He sat in the chair and watched the box rattle. He watched as it stilled, and your screams turned to choked sobs. He imagined the look of resigned desperation.

His watch gave a single vibration to signal the end of your confinement.

When he opened the box this time, your first response was to clutch his leg.

Asa was amused by how little effort he had to put into breaking your will. Had you not been attractive, he would’ve considered you no longer of interest.

He shook you off his leg and walked across the room. You stayed put and watched him, looking for some signal so you didn’t make the mistake of disobeying him yet again.

He motioned for you to come and you crawled to him without a second thought. You sat at his feet and looked up at him.

“Well, isn’t that a good boy,” he stroked your cheek, thankful you had put the idea of you being his dog in his head.

You leaned into his touch.

Asa smiled and cupped your face in his hand, squeezing just hard enough for it to open your mouth.

“Stick out your tongue,” he said, no louder than a whisper. You obeyed and he repaid you by spitting directly onto your tongue, “Now swallow.”

For a second you considered spitting onto the floor. You didn’t want this. Not from him.

The fear of being locked in the trunk again over-rode any sense of self respect and you swallowed the mixed saliva.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you, sir.”

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shoot-the-oneshot · 4 years ago

Text

Harvard Vs Netflix

Malcolm bright x reader

You were fussing over your hair for probably the tenth time this block, usually you didn’t care but you were going on a double date with your friend and her new fiance, plus it was the first time she’ll meet Malcolm, so you had to look your best.

“Love, you look fine, calm down.”

Malcolm says, gently pulling your hand away from your hair and onto his lap. It also didn’t help that he always wore a suit, and looked damn good in them. You never saw him an anything else until you moved in with him. Shooting the ex FBI agent an exasperated look.

“Surely you know that wasn’t the best thing to say right now, being a profiler and all?”

Chuckling he lifts your hand to place many soft kisses to the back in apology.

“You’re right, I should’ve told you how beautiful you always look, now being no exception.”

“Plus aren’t you excited?”

Smiling you slide closer, tucking yourself under his arm resting your head on his chest as you sigh. You were excited, but couldn’t get past this weird feeling in your chest.

“I am, it’s just...her fiancé Ty,”

Feeling him move to get a better look at your expression, trying to figure out what you meant so you didn’t have to say it if you didn’t want to. You know if he saw something he didn’t like on your face as you spoke of the other man he would tell the driver to turn around, he always wanted you to be comfortable even around his family, he never seemed to calm down until you both were alone.

“There’s something off, and I can’t ask her about it or she will think it’s payback for what she said about you when we started dating.”

“What did she say about me!”

Luckily before you had to answer the car stopped outside the restaurant.

Some restaurant in Manhattan that had a dark lit romantic theme but was still classy.

After Malcolm held the door open for you, you saw Natalie sitting alone and rushed to hug her.

“You’re here!”

She squeals when she sees you, Malcolm trailing behind, hands stuffed in his expensive suit pants pockets.

“Of course we are, but where’s Ty?”

You asked sitting in the seat Malcolm pulled out for you after you introduced them both.

Reading the sheepish look on her face you could figure out what was up.

“He’s running late, he will be here soon.”

That’s what she always said. You all spend the next thirty minutes catching up and explaining old stories of the trouble you both got into as kids to Malcolm, when Ty walks in. Giving you a quick awkward hug, he knew you didn’t like him you made it clear after the fifth time he stood her up. He shook Malcolms hand and gave Natalie a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Sorry I’m late got caught up at work.”

Malcolm smirked at your eye roll, it was odd for him to see you like this, normally you were the nicest person clearly you didn’t like Ty, he just had to find out why, should be easy enough.

“What do you do?”

It was a simple question, if Malcolm wasn’t the one to ask but you knew he’d be looking for anything Ty would give up. You already had suspicions hopefully He will come to the same conclusion.

“Uh, real-estate, you?”

“I’m a consultant for the NYPD, a profiler to be exact.”

“He used to be FBI isn’t that cool!”

Natalie said squeezing Tys shoulder as she bragged to her fiancé about your boyfriends past career. At least he looked flustered knowing that Malcolm figures out serial killers thoughts for fun.

“Isn’t it a little late for real estate?”

“Y/n!”

“No Nat, it’s okay. Well Y/n in real estate I have to stage houses in order to sell them. That’s what I was doing.��

Giving an innocent shrug as she yells at you. That smug punk, he was testing you, seeing how far you would go you knew that but if you were going down so was he.

“Oh yeah did you use perfume to stage the house? because you smell absolutely floral.”

Before you could laugh at he wide eyes and the fact he choked on his drink, your boyfriends phone rang. He could feel your glare, one because you asked him to mute it during dinners, two because it ruined the moment you finally had of Ty for once not having some degrading come back.

Quietly speaking over the phone, judging by the annoyance all over his face it was his mother. Rather then third wheeling you followed him outside, when he was just hanging up.

“I’m sorry love,-“

You cut him off before he could finish, any other time you would be irritated but this time, it gave you an escape.

“Yeah yeah it’s fine. What did you think of Ty?”

“You don’t like it when I profile your friends.”

Raising his eyebrows, looking over your face as if it was a trick.

“Ty is not my friend! And I said I don’t like when you profile me! I know the guy is cheating do you agree?”

“He was acting odd and gave clear signals of deception and did smell very floral yes.”

“Well he wasn’t wearing his ring and there’s a pink lipstick mark behind his ear, did you see how nervous he got when he found out what you did!”

He’s only her fiancé but she wanted them both to have engagement rings. And of course he probably lost his ‘staging a house’

“How’d you catch that? I didn’t even see that!”

Malcolm asked, sounding astounded. Sure he went to some fancy school but you learned naturally, which is something he forgets. You could read people almost as well as he could and have made many jokes about it.

“Yeah, guess Netflix taught more than Harvard babe.”

You winked, leading him back to the restaurant.

The following week you were both having a game night with Ainsley and Mitch the new guy she was seeing. You started with monopoly, then charades which you and Malcolm killed at. Now it was 21, the boys either folded or busted, it was down to you and Ainsley,

“I’m all in.”

She says, her lip twitching. An untrained eye wouldn’t have caught it, but you call her bluff and go all in too. And you were right to do so. Yelling in excitement as you flip your cards.

“Dang it, it’s like playing with Malcolm!”

She shouted, a smile on both of your faces. The boys came to see who won, although Malcolm already knew. You were the only person he couldn’t beat at cards.

“She’s not exactly like me, she reads expressions and body language I read behaviors.”

Malcolm over explained. You found it cute but the other couple looked lost.

“Why don’t we make this fun? We all go against Y/n, two truths and a lie see if she can find the lies.”

Mitch suggest, leaning comfortably on the couch next to Ainsley. Malcolm sitting straight up next to you his hand resting on your hip. Looking mildly intrigued and quickly agreed. Mitch practically lunges to the ottoman in front of you.

“Okay! So..when I was sixteen I stole a car,

I secretly dated my best friends sister,

And I had a dog named Shakespeare.”

He quickly rattled off, the other two in the room watching us like hawks. I already knew about the car from when Malcolm made Gil run a background check. the second one looked like a truth but there was a hint of head tilt when he said ‘dated’

“You didn’t date her, you just slept together.”

It was crickets waiting for his response, he stares frozen until his eyes widen and jaw drops.

“Holy crap she’s good!”

“She was right?”

“Shakespeare, really?”

You and Malcolm shouted simultaneously.

He was equally surprised and impressed. He couldn’t figure out which was the lie. And yet you did and then some. He was proud but couldn’t stand you were that good at something you learned from a Netflix series.

“Move over, my turn!”

Ainsley now sat in Mitchs place. You noticed her foot tapping as she thought of what to say.

“I took ballet classes when I was 8, I wore a dress worth over a thousand dollars to prom and spilled punch all over it........and I over heard mom and dad talking about the girl in the box.”

Malcolms hand tightened on your thigh, you could feel his breath catch in his chest. She was trying to throw you off by playing with his emotions, it would’ve worked if she wasn’t so predictable. But it was a low blow that sadly didn’t surprise you.

“You didn’t spill the punch and you don’t know anything about the box.”

He relaxed once she nodded her head, And apologized to her brother. You could see the interest in her eyes as she asked question after question. One of them being what was beneficial with my little ‘gift’.

“Well I always know who’s lying before they open their mouth, plus knowing the signs of deception means you can manipulate them, which is why I can lie to your brother.”

Winking to your boyfriend during your last sentence. It was true you were amazing at lying, you never used it but no one ever knew about surprises you were planing.

“I’ll admit I’m impressed, but you definitely couldn’t lie to me I’d know.”

“Oh yeah? Looks like it my turn this time.”

Now facing Malcolm, you tucking you knee underneath you to appear more relaxed, you’d be more believable that way. He nodded for you to start. You grew up hearing the quote, don’t start a fight but once you’re in one win it. So if you had to pull a play from Ainsleys play book you would. You just won’t use something that traumatic. Keeping your shoulders loose and your breathing even.

“I used to own a classic car, I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do you, I cheated on you when you were in this hospital with the snake bite.”

Since you were telling the truth your expressions matched with the lie. But you knew Malcolm would be looking for forced reactions. Since you know what to look for in other people you could fake those same triggers, or hide them. He appeared calm as you spoke but the longer you stayed silent the more tense he got. While you were telling the lie you added extra detail, giving him more to analyze over the vague truths. Plus no one wants to believe someone they loved cheated on them.

“I don’t know.”

Malcolm sighed heavily, not only in defeat but confusion. He hated to think you did that to him, but he always thought that you deserved better, maybe you did too. Not being able to stand the pain in his eyes you explained.

“The car I had was a mustang, you’re the only man I’ve ever said I love you to, You mean to much to me I’d never cheat on you.”

Sliding closer with every sentence until you were practically in his lap as you finished. You could feel the stress leave his body, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and kissing your head.

Later that night you were curled up together in bed, his fingers lightly trailing up and down your arm staring at the ceiling.

“That was a stupid game.”

Softly laughing at his words, playing with the neckline of his grey shirt he sleeps in as you agreed.

“It was, but at least I got to show you my mad skills, I could take your job one day.”

You joke, successfully making him laugh and loosen up.

“It you, I’m always amazed by you. Showing off or not.

#malcolm bright x reader #malcolm whitly imagine #malcolm bright imagine #prodigal son imagine #malcolm imagine

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yandere-mha-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 13: I do care

words:1164

The next day came, and you knocked on Tomuras door right on time, you heard the click of the lock and he opened the door.

“HI Tomura didn't even need to tell you it was me,” you said

“Where is the dog?” Tomura asked disappointed by the lack of your four-legged friend

“Sorry Panchan is relaxing today, de-stressing from yesterday, also I didn't want to bring him in case you wanted to go somewhere again,” you said and he sighed

“No, I wasn't planning on going anywhere today,” Tomura said

“Is that so?” you said, “well is there anything you would like to talk about, how is your new game.”

Tomura was in a tough spot, knowing he just dug through the rabbit hole and did not want to tell you he may have found the address of the girl who punched you, Nah not important.

“It's….fine.” Tomura said, “I actually haven't opened it yet.”

“Really, oh you must be waiting for a special occasion,” you said, you then had a smell hit you. “Uhm Tomura...do you smell that?”

“Smell what?’ Tomura asked

“I think your trash is starting to smell a bit,” you said, Tomura scared the back of his head

“Oh,” he said

“Want me to help you take it to the dumpster?” you asked

“No, I can do it later.” Tomura said, closing the door behind him.”

“Tomura no need to feel embarrassed, trust me it's nothing I haven't seen before I've been doing this for a while.” You said, Tomura sighed and went back in dragging out some trash bags, then going back in and dragging out more, and repeating, as you kept walking up and down the stairs tossing them in the garbage can behind the building, over and over again, Tomura tagging along, there must have been at least twenty five trash bags.

“There we go, see it smells better already,” you said

“I guess.” Tomura said, “Okay tell me how the hell do you not judge that!?”

“Tomura I have told you, I've been doing this job for a while, I help people and well it can be hard to leave the house just to toss your trash out, but all that matters is that it's finally out of there, doesn't matter how or why it got like that, all that matters is that now it's okay, but unfortunately that took longer than expected and I have to go,” you said

“Huh why?” Tomura asked

“I have to see my next client, don't worry I will be back tomorrow.” you said, “and I'll bring Panchan.”

“Okay,” Tomura said, as you waved him off, before he turned around and slammed his door in anger, another client, another Client! Oh right, not like you are out of here because you actually want to be, this is your job, oh he almost feels for it, he almost feels for you, but at the end of that day it was true everyone was fake.

You passed out on your bed face first as Panchan jumped up and sniffed your face

“I'm fine Panchan, just a long day at work.” you said, giving him a pat “Tomura didn't look too happy when I left. I hope he understands.”

“You know (name) maybe this is a blessing in disguise.” your mom said as you just back front eh doctor to look at your cauliflower ear

“A blessing in the fact my brain got smacked against my skull and my ear is puffing up,” you said

“Well I mean I thought you would be passed in this little phase of yours by now, It's good to learn self-defense but you seem to be getting a bit into it.”

“Mom, I have been the juniorhigh champion three times in a row now-”

“Well, you did only win this one because your opponent was disqualified.”

“Because I was beating her,” you said rolling your eyes

“Anyway (name), how about you look for a different hobby that is less physical, i mean boys don't like girls who are too buff.” “Is that why you are skinny as a stick?” you said to your mom

“(name) do not talk to me in that tone, all I'm saying is that you are entering high school now, this whole tomboy thing you got going on needed to end.”

“You are full of shit,” you said

“(NAME) HOW DARE YOU TELL YOUR OWN MOTHER THAT!”

Your alarm started beeping and Panchan was barking and wanting breakfast. Why did you have to remember your old-fashioned mother at a time like this, time to shower and start the day. Also, Panchan needed to eat, he had someone who wanted to see him.

“Tomura, I'm back,” you said knocking on the door, and nothing.

Tomura was awake and heard you knocking and he was still pissed off at you, he knew it was dumb of him to even open up to you in the first place, he should just throw flour on your face and told you to piss off and go see your other clients.

“Tomura, are you okay in there?” you asked and Panchan was whining at the door, he just pressed his pillow to his head, till he heard you leave, After ten minutes he started feeling even worse, why didn't you try harder to get him to open up the door, he turned the tv on and was flicking through the channels, and nothing, he watched everything he wanted to watch on every steamer service he owned, he was bored and already speed run his new game. He just sighed and fell back asleep, till he heard a knock on his door again, he looked at his phone that read 9:15 who was here so late at night.

“Tomura it's me again, I'm off the clock right now but it didn't feel right to leave you when I didn't hear anything from you, at least give me something to let me know you are in there.” you said, and Tomura leaned up from his bed.

“I’m fine, just a bad stomach ache,” he said, he wasn't lying necessary, the anxiety that kept him awake every night also messed with his stomach like someone had forced him to swallow a rock that wouldn't digest.

“Is it from food, or is it more from anxiety,” you asked, sounding relieved, you heard the door come unlocked and his head popped out.

“What does it matter to you?” he asked

“It does matter to me, Tomura.” you said, “ you seem upset with me.”

“I am upset with you, you liar,” he said, why didn't you just leave already

“What did I lie about?” you asked

“The fact you act like you care what is best for me.” He said

“I never lied once about that, it seems like you have a lot on your mind.” You said, “May I come in, I'd like to talk about this more.”

#yandere tomura shigaraki #Yandere tomura #yandere shigaraki #yandere tenko shimura #yandere shimura #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere

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gleerp-2021 · 4 years ago

Text

And here is what you missed on The roleplay!

I am updating this regularly because people should know what’s going on and scrolling through the old messages in that group chat is literally impossible.

They arrived the house. The first thing to decide was: who is sharing rooms with who?

At first Tina went to share their room with puck, but Brittany is pucks best friend and she really wanted Tina to let her share the room with Puckerman instead, so Tina, with no hard feelings, decided to find another roommate.

That roommate is now Marley. Katie was alone in her room until Blue came in, they are best friends and sharing the room.

Quinn is sharing her room with Hendrix, Kurt and Blaine are sharing their room with Hartley. Sam and Santana were the hardest to give up. Sam said he was gonna share the room with Santana and she was like “no way, who knows? You might open your mouth during your sleep and end up swallowing the whole room” but eventually she gave up.

The day passed by and they were just saying funny things, flirting with each other, doing crazy things... until Hartley accidentally set the kitchen on fire. Lucky for them those “rich people are paying all of their expenses during the summer”

Sam gave Hartley confidence to come out, and Hartley came out as gay, at the same time he admitted to have a crush on Blaine.

Since they couldn’t make any food, they decided to get drunk. Quinn was the first one to get drunk, but the others weren’t much better. They decided to play spin the bottle.

Brittany and Quinn kissed and Brittany truly thought she had found her one true love, so she asked Quinn to marry her. Quinn said yes.

Blaine and Kurt kissed and made out, and now, as Santana says, there is a “pathetic sexual tension between the two of you, but not as pathetic as Blaine’s blush whenever I bring that up, so I’m guessing you’re not acting on that”

Sam and Santana already kissed, more times than necessary, and now they are dating. Everybody went to bed super drunk and somehow Brittany, puck, Blaine, Kurt, Sam, Quinn and Santana ended up on the same bed.

In the middle of the night Santana thought they were snoring too much and decided to go to her own room. She had a nightmare that led her to an anxiety attack. It was awful and she had locked the door so no one would see her “so vulnerable” Sam was the one that helped her calm down, but he was terrified. Seeing Santana like that.

After that he asked Katie puck and Blaine for help and Katie said Santana probably wasn’t taking her anxiety meds. She talked to Santana and gave her the pills, but Santana secretly tossed them on the toilet.

Quinn, Blaine and Kurt were pretty happy. And hungover. But mostly happy. Blaine bought cronuts for everybody. But Santana was still in her awful mood because of her crisis earlier and ended up making a rant to Blaine, Kurt and occasionally Quinn.

Kurt gave up first and left the room. Blaine tried a little more, tried to talk to her about her break down, but the efforts were in vain. Quinn didn’t give up and stayed by her side with a smile.

Blaine and Kurt were talking and then they decided to go shopping because it always helps Kurt and Blaine doesn’t really mind.

Then Blue came in. Blue said Santana was playing the victim, that she was a bitch that said whatever she wanted and then played the anxious. They had one hell of an argument. Puck got involved and threatened Blue, who didn’t give up and kept pushing, but puck just decided not to do anything. Then Sam happened. He showed up and also threatened to punch blue, but blue and Santana just said they were sorry and everything is fine now. Well, not exactly fine, but no one is dead.

Tina decided to just go to the bar and get drunk. Sam and Santana went out to have dinner (aka she gave the idea and told him he was gonna pay), Marley and Quinn went to the Central Park just so they could leave that house too. Brittany asked if puck could take her to feed the baby squirrels and he did so.

Brittany found a baby squirrel that was hurt and wanted to take “baby Finn” with them, but too many people were looking and Puck was pretty sure that was illegal, but he can’t deny anything to Britt so he just called Santana and Sam and asked them to bring his and Sam’s guitar so the two of them could sing as Santana and Brittany literally kidnap “baby Finn”.

They succeeded, but the cops arrived. They ran so fast and when they reached the car, Brittany obviously forgot about her engagement as she kissed puck. Puck and Brittany made out and Sam and Santana started making out too, and then... well....

But at the house, Katie was probably the only one not mad at blue. They were talking and then started flirting, and then intensely making out and we don’t know what happened then.

The other day Rachel came. She was late because she was on a Broadway cruise and couldn’t come earlier. (Aka they made me create a new blog to roleplay with them <3)

Quinn dragged Rachel to an empty bathroom and locked the door. She gave Rachel a necklace and told her she was sorry for everything she did to her during high school and that she was a Star.

Tina and Brittany thought Quinn had cheated on Brittany but everything got clear once they explained what actually happened. Somehow they started talking about Sam’s ass and Santana realized Blaine still thinks about it, pffft.

Tina, Blaine, puck, Rachel, Brittany, Sam, Santana and Kurt left to eat hot dogs and Quinn stayed. She stayed and got drunk again.

When Marley found her, she was drunk and they cuddled and kissed. Sam and Santana also cuddled to sleep. After Marley left, Hendrix showed up and he and Quinn had sex.

Brittany and Blaine have a secret sex room where they have cameras and they have sex tapes of everybody that has ever had sex in that house (a lot of tapes).

Tina and Quinn found that out yesterday, now everybody knows about their room and it’s not a secret anymore. They are all pervs and they know it. (Though Quinn really does wanna watch the threesome between Katie, Santana and Tina).

Mercedes came in! They celebrated! (As far as I know) she isn’t sharing the room with anybody yet. Sam told her everything that happened when she wasn’t there, including the fact that he is engaged to Santana.

Mercedes and Kurt spent the night at the boy-so-secret-anymore sex room watching other people’s videos. Quinn and Tina obviously wanted each other.

The next day, (today) they were all in the not so secret anymore sex room talking. Sam and Mercedes were acting a little weird and Sam said he wanted things to be like they were before, that he wanted to be friends with Mercedes. Mercedes said “he was engaged, there was no way things would be like they were before”.

That’s when Santana realized what was going on. She was obviously mad and upset about it, but decided to just leave the room and “let them talk alone, kiss and make out” pretending she didn’t care, when she obviously did. Mercedes stopped Santana, telling her that she should stop pretending she doesn’t have feelings.

Then, they talked about how Santana keep her feelings bottled up inside and Tina agreed with Mercedes on that. It turns out Santana is just afraid. Afraid that he will leave her, like everybody else. Afraid that he will realize how much better than her she is. She thinks she doesn’t deserve him, but Mercedes does.

Mercedes doesn’t give up until Santana is talking about her feelings and she ends up crying. Brittany, Blaine, Kurt and Tina were watching, since Blaine and Kurt were too scared of Santana to do anything and Tina and Brittany loved to watch the shit unfold.

Blaine is feeding the baby squirrel (baby Finn) when Sam joins him, saying that he doesn’t know what to do anymore because Santana doesn’t understand that he actually loves her. Blaine and Sam talk and Blaine says he should give her a little time.

Tina goes talk to Mercedes after everything was over, to see how she was and say it was really nice the way she didn’t leave Santana’s side, no matter how the girl begged to be left alone.

Mercedes and Tina are talking and Mercedes let out that she liked both, Sam and Santana, and that it hurt to know they would never like her back because they loved each other.

Tina says Mercedes should try talking to them since Sam probably still feels something for Mercedes and Santana opens up to Mercedes like that. But Mercedes just can’t tell. Because “how do you tell your ex boyfriend that you are in love with him and his fiancée?” You simply don’t. Now Blaine, Kurt and Tina were shipping Samtanacedes (that’s Sam, Santana and Mercede’s ship name now).

But Blaine and Kurt had different plans. While Mercedes and Santana were talking downstairs they were watching the two of them talk. Kurt even screamed “ITS NOT GAY IF ITS IN A THREE WAY”. Then, when they saw both girls weren’t gonna kiss, Blaine leaked the same gas that sue used with him and Kurt in the elevator.

Santana and Mercedes eventually kiss and start making out. But something goes wrong and the gas soon was filling the whole house.

Blaine and Kurt were alone in the room together and feeling horny, so they kissed, started making out and it obviously led to them having sex and them cuddling.

Hendrix was feeling hot and took of his shirt, then he and Tina started talking, Tina mentioned she was feeling horny and they ended up making out, but when Hendrix took Tina to a room, they found Quinn masturbating, so Hendrix invited her to join them, which she did gladly.

Santana and Mercedes were making out in the living room couch, when Sam showed up and asked what was going on. Santana and Sam secretly felt something for Mercedes too (aka the three of them ooc are down to a poly relationship in the rp). Santana asked Sam if he wanted to join them and he obviously did.

They decided to play truth or dare. Quinn was first and she was dared to give Rachel a lap dance. Then, it was hartleys turn. He picked truth and said the person he would like to sleep with in the house (the temptation house, as they self proclaimed) was Blaine.

Then it was marleys turn. She took her shirt off and let Tina take a picture of her shirtless. Then, when Santana picked Truth, she admitted she’s been wanting to sleep with Mercedes since they sang ‘candy man’ and then it was Puckerman.

He was supposed to be blindfolded, and he had to lick peanut butter off of the person he first touched. He touches Katie and had to lick peanut butter off of her breasts. Rachel chose dare and she had to make out for one minute with three people in the house. Quinn, Puck and Tina. But Quinn looked very bothered by the fact that she had only one minute and when she was looking at Rachel and Puck...

Once the game ended, they all went to bed, but Quinn went to the kitchen with Mercedes, and they ended up hooking up. Then, when Mercedes goes to her bedroom, she sees Sam on the hallway and says she needs to talk to him.

Mercedes admitted she had feelings for both, Sam and Santana, and also said she knew they didn’t feel the same way. Sam didn’t know why she would think they didn’t feel the same way, but he knows he is very confused right now, because he thought he would take a break from the drama of that house, but apparently he didn’t. He asked if he could take Mercedes and Santana on a date so they could talk about... what happened. Mercedes said she hadn’t really talked to Santana about this and told Sam that maybe he should too since he admitted he still felt something for Mercedes.

The next day, Mercedes and Santana talk and both admitted their feelings for each other, but Santana said she had to talk to Sam first.

Tina goes to Blue and Asks him if he wanted to do something, they end up crossing paths with Quinn and Santana and the four started drinking. Until Blue and Santana started arguing again and Tina decided she has had enough, so she said the truth about Santana, Quinn and Blue. Blue told Santana to “go wash these two faces you have” and when Tina tried an intervention Santana said it was “your bug eyed hypocrite self proclaimed best friend that decided to add to his personality the dick he was lacking in his pants” and then Blue and Santana started arguing as Quinn was laughing.

Tina said that Santana needed to stop being such a bitch all the time and pretend to be all tough when she is actually not like that at all. She also told blue he is “wannabe male version of Santana” and told Quinn to stop cheating on her Fiancée all the time.

Blue, Quinn and Santana left. Quinn, Kurt and Santana got drunk and Santana drank until she passed out in her room. (And let’s never forget the “fuck you, Tina” thankyou).

Brittany and Sam were on a trip to go chase unicorns, Santana thought it was stupid so she didn’t want to go with them.

Finn joined the house, yay! Well, not everyone was happy since Santana was still being bitter to him. Finn didn’t care, he just let Tina show him the house and explain what happened to him. Tina also “stole” puck’s toast bread.

Later that day, Puck is starving and asks Tina to go make him toasts since Tina ate his. (The iconic moment) Puck asked Tina what he would do without her, she just shouted from downstairs: STARVE!!!

Now Puck needed money, so he went for Santana. She said she wasn’t gonna help him because last time he said he needed money he ended up in juvie. Blaine asked them what was going on and Puck told blaine to ask Santana what had crawled up her ass and died. He did ask this and Santana just answered “I would say the same that crawled up yours last night but that would be Kurt’s dick, so...” she said.

Blaine asked “yeah, but what crawled up yours?” And Santana just answered “Sam’s dick, of course, who else’s would it be?” And Blaine said the most truthful thing ever: he said it was hard to know because everyone sleeps with everyone in that house.

And that’s true. Blaine slept with Kurt and had a threesome with Brittany, who also slept with Sam and Puck and Quinn. Quinn slept with Hendrix, hooked up with Mercedes and had a threesome with Hendrix and Tina. Tina had the threesome and also slept with Puck and had a threesome with Katie and Santana. Santana had the threesome with Katie and Tina and also slept with Sam (obviously) had a threesome with Rachel and Puck, got eaten out by Brittany and had a threesome with Sam and Mercedes; Mercedes also slept with Hendrix.... well, it’s confusing, for sure, but they know just how to work things out and nothing is weird and everybody knows who slept with who.

Puck, Blaine and Santana settled on Robbing a jewelry after discussing if they should rob the jewelry or consider prostitution. They went for the jewelry. Tina and Kurt already said they’re down to bail them out of jail when they get arrested. Now Blue is also joining Plaintana in the robbery.

Tina was fully convinced that Santana and Sam were making a video call and that Santana was about to masturbate so she, Marley and Rachel left the house to go get ice cream because they “didn’t wanna hear it”. In the middle of it, Santana got mad and when Quinn asked her if she wanted something Santana said “want what? Want you to leave me alone? Yes, yes I do” and Quinn cried and ran away.

Santana went after Quinn and said she was sorry like, a thousand times, and said she wasn’t mad at Quinn, but at the other girls. Quinn said she wasn’t so upset about what Santana said, but about everything else and said she didn’t feel like she was enough.

Quinn went to the drugstore and when she came back, she locked herself on the bathroom and a few moments later they heard her screaming. Santana and Marley started banging on the locked door and a few moments later Quinn leaves with her new hair cut. With pink and short hair. Skank Quinn is back.

Quinn picked up a fight with Tina and Santana, but Neo, being Quinn’s best friend, helped Quinn. The four of them were arguing when Santana started dropping some pretty awful comments towards Neo. Quinn left Neo alone with Tina and Santana and started driving to somewhere.

Quinn said she thought that Santana, out of all people, would understand. But Santana didn’t. She just made snarky bitchy comments.

After the fight, Santana locked herself in her room. Tina went to hers and Neo was still feeling bad because of her comments. He locked himself in the bathroom and tried to kill himself. Tina heard the screams and whimpers and tried to open the door, no success. She kept trying and got desperate. She opened the door and saw Neo’s body.

Neo were took to an ambulance and is currently on the hospital. Mercedes made Santana go to the hospital with her and Tina, and Santana, reluctantly, went there. Today, when everyone woke up, tension filled the house.

Santana thinks it’s her fault and it’s isolating herself from people and being nice. Calling them by their actual names and saying nice things. Blaine is concerned with her. Tina is explaining to Kurt what happened. Quinn is feeling bad for leaving Neo and Rachel is not helping and is just blaming Santana.

Santana put one of Sam’s big hoodies and left the house since she needed to clear her mind. Blaine finds her and she and Blaine go to a karaoke diner and start singing ‘Train Wreck’ by James Arthur together (omg this song’s amazing). Kurt, Quinn and Tina go to the same place and they can all see how hurt Santana actually was. After that she just jumps out of the stage so no one would see her crying and she leaves. She asks Blaine why he is even worried about her when she never did anything good to anyone, leaves Sam’s hoodie with him and then walks away.

Mercedes was with Neo in the hospital and when he woke up she texted everyone to tell he was better. Marley and Hendrix went to see him and Tina and Blaine went to look for Santana. Neo admitted he likes Quinn, even though Quinn said to Rachel earlier that: “(...)and I can’t believe that out of all people I fell in love with you!” After Rachel said that it should have been Santana instead of Neo.

Now Santana is back in the house alone with Rachel, who said she didn’t know Santana could even regret anything since last time she checked Santana was heartless. Santana said “suck my dick, Rachel” but didn’t make any rant. She just feels like she can’t anymore. Rachel said something about not being a slut like Santana and all and Santana started to tell but quickly stopped before agreeing with Rachel and leaving the room. She still can’t be bitchy or make rants at people.

Quinn is probably gay, or bi. But now Neo has a crush on her and he only told Marley about that.

Okay, it’s been 2 weeks since I last updated this oh God... sorry, I can’t quite remember everything but I will try explain in topics what happened.

Blaine and Kurt finally gave up and started dating, but now they just jump at each other at any chance they get. Quinn and Marley are like that, to be honest. But they were a little more complicated since days ago Marley found out Quinn slept with this random girl at a bar and Quinn is also still married to Brittany, even if they have a “open marriage” as they self proclaimed. Tina and Puck were gonna leave to have dinner (aka a date) but ended up having shower sex instead when Tina asked him if he wanted to shower with her when he was leaving to let her get herself ready to their dinner. Now we don’t know what’s going on with them.

Quinn said Santana had to be bitchy again and that she being nice was starting to get weird and concerning. Quinn even slapped Santana in the face to see if Santana would make one of her usual rants but she didn’t. Santana just told Quinn to “please stop, because it’s not gonna be pretty if you keep pushing me”

Sam and Brittany are back from their trip and Tina just said it was good that Santana and Sam wouldn’t have to have online sex anymore.

They all decided to go to a sex shop, well... that’s self explanatory, isn’t it? and In the end, Mercedes and Santana ended up hooking up again. Same for Quinn and Marley. (This gc is getting pure filthy I swear..... but I ALSO SWEAR ITS FUNNY AS FUCK AND WE ARE NOT JUST A BUNCH OF PERVS❤️)

__________

Sophie joined the house! Now she’s sleeping in Quinn and Hendrix room, being the third roommate. The next day Quinn, puck, Kurt and Santana started the day off drinking, everybody was feeling like partying so they all got tequila shots and played spin the bottle.

Sophie kissed Santana, Quinn kissed Sophie, puck kissed Quinn.... also, Brittany convinced Blaine she and puck had made something that let her get as small as an ant. They got small and saw “pucks magic stick” which apparently is “one of the seven wonders” (don’t even ask).

Marley now thinks she’s supergirl (I think it’s the alcohol talking) and Tina was talking about how Loud Santana is during sex because she can hear she and Sam. Also, she said Kurt and Blaine needed to find a way to be les loud, just like Sam and Santana, because she can’t sleep, and she also said the house is becoming a motel. Tina even said she was willing to buy Sam and Santana and Kurt and Blaine ball gags to keep them more quiet.

Also, Santana is back! Apparently Rachel pushed her so far Santana made a rant and how she is back with the rants.

(It’s been a while since I last updated this (again) but I will keep updating)

Mike just joined! He tried making a big entrance, but no one was at the house when he tried kicking the door to be dramatic, so he just gave up.

Santana went to the kitchen and puck followed, they were about to get drunk with Tequila when Mike knocked on the door again, this time he got his big entrance. The three of them were drinking the tequila when Tina joined, she welcomed Mike friendly. A bit too friendly, and made puck a little jealous, but ‘sex is not dating’ as Santana says. They were pretty drunk when Quinn decided to join them, she was also drunk, for no one’s surprise!

They decided to drink more and Santana ended up shouting the lyrics to Valerie while Mike played the song. Sophie got downstairs and a very drunk Tina started dancing with her. Now they found out Puck and Santana have weed they are all gonna get stoned.

What happens next? Well, I don’t know, they don’t know, nobody knows. hopefully we will have all the answers soon, but you know what they say: tomorrow is a mystery, and something we are still gonna write. In this case literally.

(I don’t know if I’ll keep updating this because it’s getting too long and honestly, probably no one even read til the end)

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lovingmyselfcore · 3 years ago

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Rainbow Moonlight

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH GUYS GALS AND NON-BINARY PALS

Ahhhhh I have goals for content this month but if I say them then I can be held accountable so ummmm

Anyway have some gays in an au....

"You met me yesterday. Yes and I would die for you, next question." From @ciaraloves I changed the prompt a little babe hope you don't mind

It was a dark evening, the sky was an inky black, no moon in sight, which Alex knew because he’d been staring at the sky for a while now.

He’d snuck out, something he’d never done before.

It was terrifying.

He’d come out to his parents a week ago, something he’d been scared to do for months, but he had Julie, Luke, and Reggie to constantly tell him he could do this, and they would always love and support him, so he’d done it.

They didn’t get mad, as he’d been afraid they’d do, they hadn’t thrown him out. What they had done had almost been worse.

They ignored him.

They were distant, attempting to act like nothing had happened at all, trying to ignore the pride flag over his bed that Flynn had gotten him for his birthday a few weeks before. They pretended to not know that their son wasn’t going to continue the bloodline in the way they hoped.

Tonight, it had gotten to be too much. Alex laid in his bed, and felt like the house was closing in on him, he couldn’t breathe. At the start of the evening, his parents acted just like they had since he came out, but it seemed like they’d worked up their courage, determined to have it out with him.

“So I was talking to my friend at work,” His mom said.

Alex looked up so fast he felt like he got whiplash, fork clanging as it hit his plate. His mom winced at the sound and seemed to falter now that she had his attention.

His dad reached across the table to grab her hand, like having a simple dinner conversation with their gay son was something that needed back-up. He wanted to roll his eyes.

But this was the most she’s said in a long time, so he held back the cutting remarks bubbling up his throat, and schooled his face into an expression he hoped was encouraging.

“She has a lovely daughter, Alex. You’d look good together.”

Alex went numb, his fingertips tingling as he gripped the edge of the table, digging into the marks he made as a kid using forks for drumsticks before his parents caught him. He was shaking his head.

His dad looked ready to say something but Alex felt that niggling in his chest and knew he had to get out of here.

He uncurled his hands from the table and pushed his plate away with more force than necessary. “I’m going to bed.”

“Alex!” Someone called after him but he was already running to his room, slamming the door closed and slumping against it with a dry sob. So that was that then. They’d been feeding it to him slowly since he’d come out but now it was like they shoved it down his throat with a silver spoon.

They didn’t support him.

~~~~~

Alex was rattled out of his thoughts by the sound of a skateboard on the pavement. He looked up quickly, surveying the dark park that he, Reggie, and Luke always went to when they were really young.

It was a boy. It was too dark for Alex to make out any defining features besides that.

He rolled to a stop a few feet from Alex and kicked his board up into his hands, “Hey, dude,” He says, seemingly unaware his presence initiated Alex’s fight or flight instinct. He gestured to the bench Alex was on with his skateboard, “Can I sit?”

Alex took a shaky breath and nodded. The boy sat down and Alex noted he kept a small space in between them, so they weren’t touching anywhere.

“Look, you don’t have to talk about whatever’s bothering you, but I can’t just go home not knowing if you’re okay.”

A car drove past, illuminating him in the headlights and Alex realized who he was.

Alex snapped his fingers, “You’re Julie’s friend. Willie?”

He grinned crookedly, “That’s me. And you’re Julie’s boyfriend’s cute drummer friend.”

Alex felt his face grow hot. He just said ‘cute’. Get a grip.

Alex’s brain went on overdrive: How to compliment him back, if he even should compliment him back, what his parents were thinking right now, if they even noticed he was gone, whether or not Willie was going to kill him, how insane that idea was, the probability of Julie being friends with a killer, whether or not there were killers in his school, maybe he should’ve just gone to Luke’s, no that wouldn’t be a good idea because then he’d be burdening Emily and Mitch, Reggie’s place maybe, no his parents weren’t much better then Alex’s…

It was only after that cycled through his mind that Alex realized he’d just been staring at Willie.

Willie shifted, a flash of something like discomfort in his face before he was grinning again, but this time it looked a little forced. “Do you want me to go?” He asked, voice surprisingly sincere. “Cause I’ll leave you alone if you want.”

“No!” Alex blurted, and Willie’s grin turned genuine again. Alex felt a flush creeping up his neck.

“Okay then,” Willie said, blowing at a piece of dark brown hair that fell over his face. Alex got the irrational urge to fix it for him. “Do you want to talk? About anything?”

Alex curled in a little on himself and shrugged.

Willie didn’t seem bothered by his unresponsiveness and just nodded to himself. His eyes flashed. “20 questions?”

“Are we third graders?” Alex asked with an arched eyebrow.

Willie laughed, “Why not, hotdog?”

“‘Hotdog’?” Alex asked incredulously.

Willie laughed again and Alex decided he’d be content spending the rest of his life making this beautiful boy laugh like that. “That can be one of your questions,” He said with a pointed look, eyes shining as the moon finally crept out from behind the clouds, it felt almost poetic: the moon showing her face to highlight Willie’s beauty on one of the arguably worst nights of Alex’s life so far.

“Fine,” Alex said and Willie’s grin strengthened if that was even possible. “I’ll play 20 questions. So why ‘hotdog’?”

Willie clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “Not yet, hotdog. I go first.”

Alex rolled his eyes, shoving his hands deeper into the pocket of his hoodie. The curiosity was nearly killing him at this point.

Willie took that for encouragement and hummed, “Favorite song you’ve played with your band?”

Alex smiled, “Probably Finally Free. It’s not the best song we have but it was the first one all four of us worked on. When we first played that on stage with Julie was the first song we played in front of a crowd as a real band, that Julie and Luke both worked on writing…” He realized he was rambling as he talked with his hands and shoved his hands back into his hoodie. “Yeah. Call me sentimental, sorry.”

Willie was smiling at him with something he couldn’t decipher. “Don’t be sorry. I asked. And that’s sweet, hotdog.” Alex flushed again and Willie’s smile changed into something else. “Your turn.”

“Why hotdog?” Alex asked.

Willie’s laugh came out in a huff, “You are determined aren’t you. Well, Julie told me a summary of the story of how she met the three of you. Something about bad hot dogs, Carrie’s dad, and mom’s studio in her garage?”

Alex snorted. “Yeah, that was an eventful day.”

“So I just called you hotdog in my head because somehow Julie overlooked telling me your name in the beginning.”

Alex burst out laughing and Willie did too, some birds squawked unhappily in the trees.

“My turn,” Willie said once they calmed down. He rubbed his hands together like some supervillain from the cartoons Reggie adored.

~~~~~~

They shot questions back and forth for another twenty minutes, the moon barely moved from her position in the sky, illuminating the two boys, who had both shifted almost imperceptibly closer each minute, so now their thighs were pressed against each other and each time they moved, their shoulders brushed. Willie was rolling his skateboard between his feet on the ground as if he was a little nervous.

“My turn,” Alex said, “Why are you out here?”

Willie froze for only a beat before leaning back far too casually. He shrugged, “Just skating around a little. I live like a 10-minute walk from here.”

“Isn’t your family missing you?” He winced as soon as he said it and immediately wanted to take it back.

Willie shrugged and Alex pretended not to notice his heartbreaking a little when Willie slid a little farther away from him down the bench.

“Ask me why I’m here,” Alex said, offering the beautiful skater boy an olive branch. Let him take it, he asked the moon.

She was listening.

“Why are you here?” Willie asked, voice a little strained, looking at him with something else undecipherable in his face.

“My parents don’t accept me,” The words tasted weird in his mouth. He’d never said it out loud.

Willie suddenly looked angry, “What don’t they accept?” He took a deep breath as if bracing himself for a rant.

“I’m gay,” Alex interrupted. Willie’s mouth snapped closed, almost comically.

He blinked at Alex for long enough that Alex started panicking. Then he smiled, it spread slowly across his face, and it was the most beautiful smile Alex thought he’d ever seen.

“Your parents are stupid,” Willie declared, bringing his arm up and down like he was a judge. “They have no reason to not accept you. You’re gorgeous and brilliant, you’re hilarious, you’re a drummer in your own band which is so close to playing at the Orpheum and I know for a fact you get straight A’s. You’re gay? Fan-fucking-tastic. Makes you better, in my professional opinion.” He was out of breath by the end of his speech and Alex felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He wanted to cry. But he wouldn’t because that would be embarrassing.

“Makes me better?” He asked finally.

Willie looked a little embarrassed himself and looked down at his skateboard, which he started moving again. “Yeah. You’re amazing.”

“You care that much? Even though you met me like an hour ago?”

“Yes, and I would die for you. Next question.”

That startled a laugh out of Alex and Willie glanced up at him with a smile.

“Gorgeous, huh?” Alex asked, suddenly emboldened.

Willie gave a non-committal hum, still not meeting his eyes.

“Says you.”

Willie glanced up again, startled and Alex felt his face burning, wanting nothing more than to bury himself into his hoodie, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and met Willie’s eyes.

They just stared at each other in silence before Willie laughed disbelievingly. “This is insane. I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time, and instead of a cute confession, I basically told you in a rant about your stupid parents.”

“A crush on me for the longest time, huh?”

Willie bumped his shoulder, “Oh shut up, hotdog.”

They fell into another comfortable silence before Willie said, “My parents are too busy to notice when I leave.”

Alex looked at him but Willie looked more uncomfortable than Alex had ever seen him.

“Would you like me to ramble about how gorgeous and brilliant you are?” Alex said, hoping to ease the tension in Willie’s shoulders.

He succeeded.

Willie buried his head in his hands with an anguished cry, “Let me forget that ever happened.”

“No, because I won’t.” Willie looked up again at his serious tone and smiled, reaching forward slowly to cup Alex’s cheek.

“You still have a question left,” Alex whispered breathlessly.

“Will you let me kiss you?” Willie asked, also a little breathless.

“Yes.”

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specterchasing-a · 3 years ago

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Sucker Punch || Alfie & Eddie

TIMING: The day after I Swear It’s The Truth

LOCATION: Eddie’s apartment, downtown White Crest

PARTIES: @yikesimonfire and @specterchasing

SUMMARY: Nothing will ever be the same for Alfie and Eddie, and now they know why.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia tw, homophobia tw, emotional abuse tw

(This is an emotionally heavy thread. Let one of us know if you need a summary.)

It wasn’t often that Alfie found himself at Eddie’s apartment. For the most part, the time they spent together was almost exclusively at his place. Even when he dog-sat Bucket, the pomeranian was dropped off at Alfie’s. He never complained. In fact, it was more convenient that way, even when he was decidedly too busy to entertain guests. But things were different now. Bex was in the picture; not as one of Eddie’s friends, but his girlfriend. Not even 24 hours in, Alfie was struggling with the concept. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. It should have been fine. He should have been happy for him — he wasn’t. The thought made him sick.

He thought about cancelling. Throughout the day, Alfie composed several messages to his friend as a means to get out of their plans, but he couldn’t bring himself to hit send. He couldn’t back out. Not now; not on Eddie. Not when the plans were made before the events of last night. So he persevered. He wanted to be a good friend, no matter how much emotional distress he was in; no matter how many silent tears he shed before finally falling asleep.

Taking a deep breath, Alfie rapped his fist against the door to Eddie’s apartment, the sound causing him to flinch. He didn’t exactly know why he knocked. The front door was unlocked. Alfie knew that. After a moment of hesitation, Alfie managed to still his trembling hands long enough to crack the door open and slip in, mindful enough to not let Bucket bolt out of the door at his arrival.

“Hey,” he called out. “Just me.” Obviously. Who else would it be? Bex, maybe, if the time hadn’t been reserved specifically for Alfie. He didn’t want to think about that.

Until last night, Eddie didn’t know how much change a single kiss could bring about. He felt disoriented, partially because the knots in his stomach kept him from getting any sleep. It didn’t make any sense. He should be happy. He wanted to be happy. Instead, he felt worse than before. Alfie’s reaction to finding out about him and Bex didn’t add up. He sounded distant, disappointed even, as if Eddie having a girlfriend changed something between them. That was a line of thought Eddie decided against pursuing as bile gurgled in his stomach. He didn’t want things to change.

Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door followed by the sound of Bucket’s paws skittering across the living room floor. He only did that for one person, the man in question, Alfie. Eddie half-expected him to cancel after the way he acted last night. Realizing he assumed wrong, his heart leapt into his throat before plummeting into his stomach to be eroded by the crashing waves of acid. Why didn’t his heart leap like that for Bex? Never mind, he didn’t want to know.

“Hey!” Eddie called out from his office, rising from his chair to meet his visitor. At the sight of Alfie, Eddie’s heart thumped pitifully as it drowned. “Fancy seeing you here.” He tried acting casual. Fake it ‘till you make it. “Everything’s all set up, even brought in an extra chair.” Why did he leave the office in the first place? Alfie knew the layout of his apartment, he would’ve made it there fine without him. Did he really need to see him so badly that a few more seconds of waiting would hurt? So many questions and not a single answer he wanted to acknowledge.

“Warning you now,” he said, walking back to where he’d come from. “It’s boring. All we’ll be doing is staring at my face and deciding what can go.” Eddie plopped into his chair, rolling back a few inches from the force. “You sure you wanna subject yourself to this?” Please say yes.

The sight of Bucket rounding the corner to meet him at the door gave Alfie a momentary rush of relief. A sense of normalcy, although fleeting. He crouched down to stroke behind Bucket’s ears as Eddie came into view. His heart lurched at the sight of him. It shouldn’t have. He wished it didn’t. Yet there Eddie was, beaming at him like everything was fine — or at least, almost. There was a sadness twinkling in his eyes that Alfie couldn’t quite place. It didn’t make sense. Surely, he must have imagined it.

“I could say the same to you. Come here often?” Alfie foolishly flirted. Stupid. He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. What was happening to him? He wasn’t usually like this. Or, if he was, he wasn’t usually so aware of it. But even now, standing in Eddie’s apartment, chittering off cliche pick-up lines, there was a stark contrast between Alfie’s tone and the look on his face. He tried to smile — to pretend that everything was normal — but his features mirrored the same despondency he could have sworn he saw in Eddie’s.

Without another word, Alfie trailed behind him to the home office, wriggling his fingers and clicking his tongue for Bucket to follow. At least he had Bucket. Even if he was about to subject himself to spending hours staring at Eddie’s face on the computer screen, the pooch served as a welcome distraction.

“I doubt it’s boring,” Alfie retorted. He wanted to say that he didn’t mind staring at his face. To take his words out of context and insist that none of it ‘needed to go’. Not only would that have been uncharacteristic of their friendship, it would have made Alfie seem pathetic. Instead, he eased himself into the spare chair next to Eddie, careful to keep his distance. “Absolutely. I’m eager to see your, uh… process.” Had he said that nearly verbatim last night? Shit.

And there they were, standing face to face in mutual mourning over something that never existed in the first place. Or, did it? Eddie had to wonder. Grief like this didn’t appear out of thin air. He had a girlfriend now, did that come with a hidden cost? If he looked at the fine print, should he expect to see Alfie’s name crossed out? When he kissed Bex, it didn’t occur to him that the average life he wanted so badly might exclude the one person he thought he couldn’t lose. The dejection written on his best friend’s face registered immediately, years of memorizing his expressions and the meanings behind them made it obvious.

“Cute,” Eddie quipped, trying to pair the word with a laugh, but it came out hollow. He didn’t know he could miss someone standing only a few feet away from him. Deep within his chest, he felt something awful clawing its way up. If it managed to reach his throat and break free, he knew regret would quickly follow.

“Mm,” Eddie hummed skeptically as he pushed his hair away from his face, hands shaking as he did. His chair scooted forward, closer to the desk. Even when he wasn’t looking at Alfie, he was imagining his face. He tried removing the sadness from his eyes, but it didn’t work. He struck a key and an application opened. “So,” he started, clearing his throat. “This is Premiere, it’s the, uh,” Eddie trailed off, blinking at the computer screen. It wouldn’t come into focus. “It’s the editing software that I use,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “Adobe, y’know.” What was he saying?

Eddie pushed back from the desk and brought his hands up to his face, letting them slide down a moment later. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He needed a moment to regain control, he couldn’t let Alfie see him like this. “I haven’t taken my meds yet, it’s making it impossible to focus. Give me just a sec,” he explained as he stood up and slipped past Alfie, leaving the office in pursuit of his bedroom.

He closed the door behind himself and pressed his back to it. Eddie stressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and let out a pitiful, but quiet sob. “Why are you so fucking useless?” he berated himself internally. “Get it together, it’s just Alfie. It’s just Alfie.” The words repeated in his head, an endless loop, never successfully convincing him. His hands fell to his sides and he straightened up. If he kept acting like this, the chances of Alfie leaving would skyrocket. He needed to keep him there for as long as he could. Eddie shook out his arms and bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to get his blood pumping. A sharp exhale escaped his nose. He could do this.

Eddie waltzed back into the office and reclaimed his chair. “Okay, where was I?” He gripped the mouse, sounding more invigorated than he had before. “Right, Premiere. It’s expensive, confusing, and constantly crashes, but we love disappointment in this house.” A video opened on-screen, a mirror image of Eddie. He turned his chair to face Alfie, their knees brushing in the process. He tried to ignore it.

“You want the whole editing process, right? Technically, it starts as soon as I have an idea for a video. You always plan a concept with editing in mind,” Eddie explained, his hands falling limply in his lap. “Camera angles, movements, position, all of that should be mostly figured out before filming starts. But, uh, I’ll ease up on the behind the scenes talk and get to the feature presentation. We’re gonna have to watch this about 10 times, so,” Reaching towards the desk, he hit play on the video. His voice played through the speakers, spilling information about fae. “Someone actually warned me against making this one,” he mused. “Something about dire consequences. People are so dramatic.”

This wasn’t right. None of it was right. Clearly, Alfie’s behavior was affecting Eddie. Even last night, he called him out for being quiet. Just tired, Alfie had responded. He tried to cheer up, to act like the news didn’t eat him up inside. But it was easier to hide in a world of pixels and code than it was being next to him. “I’m vaguely familiar with Premier, if that helps,” he said monotonously; a desperate attempt to encourage Eddie to push forward. It didn’t help.

In an instant, Eddie was rattling off an excuse about his medication and removing himself from the office altogether. “Yeah, sure. Take your time,” Alfie murmured, his voice breaking in the process. His eyes — and Bucket — followed Eddie out of the room. Suddenly, he was alone. Even as Bucket strolled back into the office, giving Alfie a confused head-tilt and a pitiful gaze, Alfie was alone.

“What?” Alfie questioned the ginger ball of fluff. Bucket’s tail thumped against the floor, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Alfie. “You have no idea, do you? Not a single clue.” Not one brain cell was firing off behind the dog’s eyes. “You’re lucky,” he added.

Coming here had been a mistake. He could probably still leave — slip out the door while Eddie was gone. But Alfie couldn’t bring himself to budge from the chair. Instead, he sat in silence and watched Bucket watching him.

Before long, Eddie returned. His gaze didn’t meet Alfie’s as he elected to focus on the monitor instead and dive straight back into where he’d left off. Ignoring the fact that Eddie’s meds were not immediately effective, Alfie turned in his seat to give the other man his undivided attention. He had to put on a brave face; he didn’t have any other choice. But then Eddie’s face was on display. He seemed happier in the still shot. There was passion behind his brilliant eyes, and it made Alfie’s heart swoon. He stared longingly at the image on screen, interrupted only by Eddie’s knees brushing his as he turned towards him.

Alfie swallowed the knot in his throat, glancing down at the space between them. Making eye-contact would be a mistake. There was no hiding the vacant gloss of his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. “Just… pretend I’m not here, if that helps,” his voice wavered. Alfie looked back up at the screen when Eddie started the video. Please pretend I’m not here, he thought, catching a mere glimpse of his friend’s face in the screen’s reflection. Two entirely different faces greeted him.

Nervously, Alfie ran his tongue across his bottom lip. His hands clasped tightly together in his lap. “Like that’s ever really stopped you in the past,” he absentmindedly chided. This was going to be absolute torture.

It felt unfair, seeing Alfie in so much pain while working hard to keep his own out of sight. At the same time, it felt familiar, but that only made it worse. Eddie, in a desperate attempt to keep people close, became a stranger to himself. Put on a show, keep them entertained, but don’t let them know what’s lurking beneath the surface; they’ll love you less. And Alfie did love him, he knew that now, which was also unfair.

“Don’t,” Eddie pleaded softly, gazing at the ground for a moment before an unprecedented surge of irritation flooded his mind. “I didn’t know, okay? How could I?” Either Alfie would understand what he was referring to, or he wouldn’t. In a way, he preferred the latter option.

“The first time I came into your apartment through the balcony, it was because you wouldn’t answer the door. And I think that pretty much sums up our entire friendship.” Anguish settled in his eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to fight it. “I turn my music up too loud because I know you’ll message me to complain. I bribe you to spend time with me. I do whatever it takes to get you to notice me.” His chest heaved with every breath. Eddie didn’t like being so honest, so vulnerable, but he didn’t deserve to be cast as the villain in this scenario.

“The past few months have been a little different, I didn’t need to work so hard, and I’ve always thought it was worth the effort, anyway. I know how you are, you’re not loud like me, you need a little convincing. That’s fine, I like that about you sometimes, but if you do this…” Eddie gestured at the way Alfie held himself. “If you make me feel guilty for having something in my life that doesn’t revolve around you, then I…” He trailed off, biting back tears as they formed in his eyes.

“I just wish you’d take a second, one second, to look at me and notice that you’re not the only one who's scared. Alfie, you are so important to me in ways you don’t even realize. Ways that I can’t make sense of without throwing my entire world off its axis, and that’s why I need this to work with Bex. With her, it’s simple—it’s expected. So, just… I can’t ask you to be happy about it but, for my sake, try to understand that I can’t be what you want me to be.”

Don’t. The word shook Alfie to his core. At that moment, he knew he fucked up. His shoulders tensed — his entire body did, actually. He was frozen, still locked onto the computer screen and staring straight past Eddie. Leave it to Eddie to see right through him. He anticipated a lashing of reproach; that Eddie was disappointed in his behavior. That’s exactly what he got, tenfold.

Alfie tore his eyes away from the monitor as he shifted his gaze to finally look at Eddie; a look of pure bewilderment. His thoughts began to run rampant as he processed what was being said. With each line came a blow to his gut and Alfie’s throat constricted, forbidding him to speak. But he didn’t look away. He couldn’t. Not when Eddie very plainly laid his grievances out on the table for Alfie to see. “If you make me feel guilty for having something in my life that doesn’t revolve around you, then I…” Guilty. He made him feel guilty. All because Alfie couldn’t bring himself to pretend for one goddamn second that he was happy for Eddie. Because he was consumed with jealousy over a relationship that was “simple” and “expected”.

After a painstaking lull, it was Alfie’s turn to speak; to say something — anything — that might smooth things over. An apology would have been a good place to start. But “I’m sorry” were not the words that came out.

“You think it’s easy for me?” Alfie scoffed, choking on the knot that threatened to suffocate him and forcing back the tears brimming in his own eyes. “That I haven’t even considered how I’ve made you feel over the years? How horrible I’ve been to you because I couldn’t deal with—” It didn’t matter that Eddie had pieced it together; he still couldn’t bring himself to say the words aloud. “What do you have to be afraid of, anyway? That I’d try to hold your hand? Or, god forbid, kiss you?”

Eddie didn’t deserve the backlash he was receiving from Alfie. Nor did he deserve to be saddled with the responsibility of carrying their entire friendship. But Alfie was terrified to face the reality that they were both now painfully aware of. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry I ever tried to push you away. I’m sorry I’m not happy for you and Bex. I’m sorry, Eddie.” An errant tear ran down Alfie’s cheek and he flicked it away with a terse laugh.

“I didn’t ask for this. I tried so hard to not— to not feel the way I do about you. I’m still trying. But I look at you and I—” Alfie cut himself off by biting his bottom lip. It wouldn’t do any good. Nothing he said was going to change the fact that Eddie would never reciprocate his feelings. He made it evident that he couldn’t be what Alfie wanted him to be — his own words. “I’m sorry,” he reiterated, once again unable to meet Eddie’s gaze. “I’m trying, really. I want you to be happy.”

Over the past few months, Eddie and Alfie reached a new level of closeness. As Alfie became more receptive to him, Eddie realized how thin their boundaries were becoming. It terrified him how much he liked the idea, so much so that his only option was running away. Enter Bex. He thought the answer to all of his problems started with her, but Alfie proved him wrong when he plunged into a comeback diatribe.

At the mention of physical affection, Eddie bolted upright and out of his chair. He needed to put distance between them. His legs carried him to the farthest corner of the room, which still felt too close. Alfie didn’t do well with subtext, he should have known better than to rely on it to get his point across, but the idea of openly admitting to how he felt made his chest tighten.

A barrage of apologies hit him in quick succession as he nervously combed his hair out of his face. Eddie couldn’t let Alfie think he was afraid of him, not even to save himself.

“I’ve never been afraid of what you might do, Alfie.” His voice shook as he gave his confession. “What I’m afraid of is that I’ll like it.” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, as if bracing himself for whatever came next. “You’re not the monster here, I am.” He wanted this to be easy, but shards of glass lined his throat in the wake of truth.

“Neither of us asked for this.” Eddie found it impossible to look at Alfie. Instead, his gaze remained fixed on a gap in the wood flooring. “But it happened anyway.”

Alfie was certain that he’d hit the nail on the head as soon as Eddie shirked away to the other side of the room at the notion of romantic advancements. Between the two of them, Eddie was always the one to initiate physical contact. It was never intimate; Alfie knew better than to believe it ever could be, and his friend’s present reaction only solidified this theory. If Eddie felt the need to withdraw himself from the situation, he wasn’t going to stop him. He didn’t move in his chair or turn his head to follow his movements. He stayed put, staring at the space the other man previously occupied. In fact, Alfie was so convinced that he was correct in his assumption that Eddie’s next words gave him whiplash.

Afraid that he would like it?

Bewildered, Alfie shifted in his seat to face Eddie. His eyes desperately tried to search a face that couldn’t bear to look at him. It was impossible for Alfie to discern the truth behind these statements without proper facial cues. He was forced to take Eddie’s words at face value.

For a second time in the twenty-four hour period, Alfie’s heart shattered all over again. “Oh,” he breathed, unsure of what to say. Nothing he could say would relieve Eddie of the sheer panic and shame he felt. Eventually, he settled on a single-minded question.

“Do you really believe that? That it— that you’re a monster?”

Alfie didn’t have much to say, only offering up a simple question. A simple question that Eddie choked on. His hand raised to cover his mouth as an influx of contradicting emotions lashed out from within. He nodded wordlessly, closing his eyes tightly to fight back tears. He wanted to beg Alfie to tell him how wrong he was, to dissuade him from believing the lies his parents told him, but the words wouldn’t come out.

His back hit the wall and Eddie slid to the floor. He bit back a sob, trying to stay quiet. His dad lived half-way across town, but he still half-expected him to suddenly appear and tell him to keep it down. According to Jim Carridine, Eddie only cried for attention or to make people feel guilty. It never stemmed from anything real, only girls cried their pain out.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie instinctively apologized as he wiped the tears from his eyes. He noticed his position on the floor and cringed; he wanted to shrink his existence. Eddie did the next best thing and pulled his knees to his chest.

“I don’t know why it hurts so much,” he admitted with a sniffle. “I don’t think less of anyone else because of who they wanna be with, I really don’t, but when it comes to me…” Eddie shook his head sadly. “I’m already so different. People don’t need another excuse to tell me what I’m doing is wrong. And, yeah, it’s just their opinions, but it’s still too heavy. I can’t carry any more.”

He didn’t know what to expect from a question like that. Honestly, Alfie wasn’t even sure why he chose to focus on that part specifically. Maybe it was because he was afraid that Eddie did think he was a monster, but chose to carry the burden himself as a martyr. Or, maybe it was because he knew how fragile Eddie’s sense of self-worth truly was and that suggesting otherwise wouldn’t have accomplished anything.

But then Eddie continued to break, all because he asked him if he actually believed it. Of course he did; Alfie should have known better than to doubt how much hatred his friend harbored for himself.

“Hey, hey— whoa, whoa, whoa,” Alfie sputtered, more or less flinging himself from the chair to join Eddie on the floor. This wasn’t the first time that he caught Eddie in a vulnerable state. He’d seen him emotional, probably even shed a few tears. But moments like that never lasted long. Eddie was an expert at masking his emotions.

This was different.

Not only was Alfie bad at comforting people in general, he was entirely clueless as to what Eddie needed right now. A friend — he could give him that much. Alfie managed to swallow his own pain just enough to drape an arm over Eddie’s shoulder. He wouldn’t blame him if he pushed him away, but he had to try.

“Eddie, listen to me,” he began softly. “That’s not true — none of it. Okay? This sucks. It fucking sucks. But you are so much more than what anyone says you are, alright?” New tears pooled in Alfie’s eyes and he quickly brushed them away with his free hand before extending the gesture to Eddie. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry I was an asshole. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to—”

A deep frown etched onto Alfie’s features and he let out a trembling sigh. If he kept this up, he’d likely make things worse. “You’re my best friend, Eddie. That’s not going to change, alright?” He wasn’t in the position to make promises like that, no matter how much he wanted to believe it. At the end of the day, he still had to go back to his apartment where he’d only be left with his thoughts. “Bex’ll be good for you, right? So… so, okay. Give it a chance. You owe it to yourself to try, right? And you’ll still have me.” He hoped that wasn’t a lie; for both of their sakes.

Turning points, both big and small, happen every day. Intentional or not, change is both constant and inevitable. As Alfie embraced him, Eddie knew nothing would ever be the same between them again. The truth about their feelings stripped away the comfort of denial and ushered them into a new chapter, one that terrified Eddie. As far as he could tell, he had two options. The first involved swallowing the truth and dating Bex. The second was wiping away his tears. It didn’t occur to him that his choice should include his feelings as well as Bex and Alfie’s, Eddie didn’t think in those terms.

When Alfie encouraged him to keep playing house with Bex, claiming nothing needed to change, Eddie sprung forward and wrapped his arms around his best friend. He knew a lie when he heard one. No matter what choice he made, things were irrevocably different now. No amount of pretending would undo the past two days, but he appreciated Alfie’s dedication to the fabricated life he said he wanted.

Eddie breathed in Alfie’s scent, unsure of when he might get another chance. So much begged to be said, additions to his initial confession, but he stayed silent as his grip tightened. In a perfect world, the two of them would stay like this and the rest of the world would leave them alone. But they didn’t live in a perfect world. Alfie would eventually return to his apartment, the change would set in, and their friendship would slowly dissolve. Eddie wondered how much damage a kiss would do. Just one, to know what love felt like pressed against his lips. Too much, probably.

“You changed my life, Alfie,” Eddie whispered with his eyes closed. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that, at least. And I don’t regret any of it.”

Eddie released his hold on Alfie and pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. “One of these days, I’m gonna catch up to where you are. Until then, keep the balcony unlocked for me, okay?”

#c: alfie #sucker punch #wickedswriting #internalized homophobia tw #tw: internalized homophobia #emotional abuse tw

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years ago

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Trophy Chapter Seven

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult situations +18, Smut ,Dub con, Coercive behavior, Daddy kink, Threats of violence, Masturbation, Swearing

A/n: So this has taken absolutely ages to write... there are many things that i wanted in the chapter that havent made it i was struggling about how much plot i added to this chapter and i can only apologize for how long it has taken m0but also wanted to covey the back story a little more. I'm happy with it and i hope you are to. As a head's up this story might end up being a fifteen to twenty chapters I hope. Any way I do hope this is worth the wait. p.s if you want the other chapters they are in order on my masterlist which is linked above as always.xx

Taglist: @havenoffandoms @aphrodites-punch @charlieferret @thatgirly81 @two-unbeatable-beaters @viking-raider @iloveyouyen @black-ninja-blade

Trophy Chapter Seven

Henry sat behind his desk he was annoyed, you could tell by the way he sat shoulders, neck and jaw twitching every now and then, he was wound tight. The power radiating from him cast waves across the space leaving the air thick, yet behind it was something else, something that was echoing across the room each time he cast his gaze to you. He sent smirks to you when he caught you stealing glances at him. Feeling his glances linger you faltered scanning the same line of your book for what seemed the hundredth, willing yourself not to look at him not to give him a reason to approach you. You wanted to be left alone with your thoughts sighing you tucked your feet up on the sofa cringing you huffed as your bare ass pulled on the leather...You just knew you was leaving marks...The knowledge made you curl up tighter tucking your skirt under yourself shielding your center from His glances. You couldn't concentrate, to many things had happened already today and to many thoughts ran around inside your head. You could kick yourself ,was it right? You'd sold yourself to the devil...For what? You looked him over taking in the way his shoulders tensed as he moved pulling a slim tablet from his desk flicking open the stand connecting it to a wireless keyboard. Was this the plan all along...For him to back you into a corner like this, to make you hand yourself over willingly? To resign yourself to staying with him. Trapping yourself in this house forever...To protect a fantasy of what could have been? A man who you started imagining a future with...An agent... A liar. You heaved a deep sigh moving a hand to swipe at your eyes then pinched the bridge of your nose dropping the book to your knees that were firmly tucked below your chin. Your emotions finally catching up with you. Tears were quickly forming in your eyes. It could have been a ruse, a cruel ploy to use as cover. Had it? It had felt so natural, so pure. Like you could have had it all but was it real?... Or did Stephan think you knew something was you just part of the job?.... You looked over to Henry he had said the day you got here that Stephan was using you... At the time you just thought it was the mans madness talking but now?...He could have been right...As far as things stood at the moment Henry had done many things to you...But he had not lied to you. Did he know all along? was he in some fucked up way trying to help you?. Could he possibly love you as he said he did?. Is he just acting now? Playing along? it was entirely possible Henry was a smart man. There was no doubt about that, you don't get to were he is being an idiot...And it was convenient that everything was in his favor that he was coming out on top again... You shook your head, they were some very dangerous thoughts. You felt him look at you again and he sighed at you watching tears fall landing on the pages open in front of you. He just rose out of his seat moving ,opening the door letting in Kal who had been waiting dutifully out side the door.

"Go see your mother" you blinked not quite understanding but soon realized he had been speaking to Kal as the dog jumped up on to the sofa beside you nudging the book from your hands to the floor. Henry moved collecting the hardback copy of Tolkien's Hobbit placing in on the small side table by you. He smiled as Kal stealthily made himself comfy on your lap, making you uncurl to accommodate him lathering you with kisses. Henry moved his hand ruffling the bears ears praising him"Good boy, you sit there and protect your mother hmm?...He is definetly taken with you, my fully trained gaurd dog becomes a soppy puppy around you" you smiled a little scratching Kals chin, Henry crouched down looking at you moving to pat your hip

"...Pet? try not to think to much...You have no need to be sad my love, now is a time for us to...move past everything to look forward to our future... I'm going to keep my word as long as you keep yours. Now try and cheer up for me" you forced a smile at him then let your face drop again. He sighed deciding to give you time to yourself then made his way across the office to his seat again. You whined digging your fingers into the dogs thick fur pressing your face into his neck as he rested his chin on your shoulder panting happily as you continued to cuddle the massive fluff ball. You closed your eyes it was pathetic that you'd throw away everything to protect the first man to ever show you attention. But what was done is done. There was no way Henry would ever let you back track, and if you did you knew for certain that you'd be wholey responsible for Stephan's demise. And to make matters worse in the middle of your confused despair you now had to face the man who had started all this, who had betrayed you. Fletcher who had set you up to be kidnapped. With no idea as to what would happen to you, or you'd like to think he had no idea but you doubted it. You turned your head resting the side of our face into the dog sniffling trying hard not to cry, this time with anger. You shook sitting silent, you didn't want to attract the mobsters attention any more than you had. You could feel him getting worse feeling him seeth to himself as he tapped away at the tablet every few seconds cursing under his breath. You moved back leaning back as Kal followed your movements to lounge across you getting watching the door.

Finally after the longest hour of your life there was a timid knock on the door then a nasally voice you knew all to well.

"Oh he hasn't answerd must be busy-" you heard a thump as if someone had been slammed against the door.

"Get your ass in here fletcher!" You jumped making Kal nudge your hand as if to say keep petting me. The good boy was helping with your anxiety over the whole situation. Your attention was brought back to Henry as he spoke his tone was dark, cool and calculated. He looked high and mighty, smug as he sat taller a lopsided grin upon his face he winked in your direction making you blink slowly this was business and he was most definitely the boss. Slowly the door opened and your ex-employer came in,the usually tall confident man was hunched forward trying to look as insignificant as possible. Nervous and flighty, he didn't want to be here and you couldn't blame him, hell you didn't want to be here. Henry raised a brow to the door left wide open making Fletcher turn sharply and close it you jumped closing your eyes tight as it slammed beside you prompting another nudge from Kal who was covering you leaning across you trying to be a wall between you ad the other male. The terrified man stood still then, took a few steps in the room as he quickly began stammering apologies to Henry which he rolled his eyes at and held a hand up .Stop. Fletcher moved forward with a forced smile and sat down in front of the desk twisting his hands.

"S-so Mr Cavill.....I erm wh-what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Get up" Fletcher tilted his head as Henry leaned back in his chair placing his forearms on the arms of the chair taking a relaxed pose

"Wha-why?" Fletcher asked but soon moved when Henry's blues turned icey

"Did I stutter? Get. Up." Fletcher jumped leaping out of the chair as Henry's voice was sharp and foreboding. Fidgeting with his hands Fletcher took a a deep shaking breath and looked about ready to piss himself. Henry moved slowly closing the kickstand on the back of the tablet casually with a flick of his wrist, moving to place it and the keyboard in the drawer he had got it from. He looked up through his lashes at the man.

"You see Fletcher...This is the problem we have.....You make decisions....The wrong decisions and then you try to back track." Fletcher looked at Henry and swallowed.

"You are to do as your told and nothing more, things are going to change, your not going to make a move, decide anything talk to anyone your not even going to take a shit without my fucking say so is that fucking clear?" Fletcher moved forward wide eyed at the implications.

"But-Henr.....Mr Cavill I didn't say anything, I just gave him the trail you .Gave me...That’s all!....I swear....I'd never betray you like that we're friends" Henry laughed loud at him then fixed to coward before him with a stern look.

"Friends?...You think we are ...Friends?....Sure. I may have kept you out of prison which; you paid me for and I agreed to the loans... We drank together what once? Twice?...I may have even wiped your debt with our last little deal...." Henry's eyes swiped over you for a second his haze turning hungry for a moment then returned to the quivering man before him.

"But I am not your friend...I don't have friends...It was business....You are a pathetic little man who bit off more then he could chew. Now be a good boy and tell me What did he tell you? Was there anything that seemed strange about him? Anything at all think back.." Fletcher furrowed his brow confused and shook his head.

"I don't understand he was just an immigrant-"

"He used a false identity... Did you do a background check on him?" It was a test. Henry knew Fletcher didn't check him out, he couldn't have.For an agent the kid hadn't covered his tracks very well he practically popped up out of thin air. But Henry was more interested in whether Fletcher would lie to him, he needed to know how close of an eye to keep on him .Fletcher however went a deathly shade of pale, he hadn't known about Stephan.

"I-I don't... I don't know ...He seemed to check out when I hired him-" Henry slammed his fist down making you whimper into Kal’s fur closing your eyes.

"YOU GOT SOME FUCKING BALLS TO SIT IN MY HOME, IN MY FUCKING OFFICE AND LIE RIGHT TO MY FACE!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHECK HIM DID YOU?" Fletcher let out a little yelp taking a step back and shook as he nodded.

"Y-your right I'm s-sorry ple-please I rushed him through, I knew I-I didn't have long to replace Y/n...But I swear I didn't know, you have to believe me...He is just a boy...You said so yourself! A boy who doesn't know his place!.A silly little shit who thinks he is in love, or that's what I thought. That maybe he will give up after he realized Y/n wasn't the only place to get his dick wet....I mean she didn't look like she'd be the best fuck in the world you know?" Henry glowered at him the room got colder. Bad move. Henry was jumping down his throat before you even had the chance to be offended.

"Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say about MY woman? You wanna run that one past me again?...Well? come on don't hold back now tell me what you think of her... Oh you haven't got the balls now have you? Let me tell you something you sniveling little cunt you ever disrespect her again and I will personally cut that sorry excuse for a prick right from between your little chicken shit legs and choke you to death with it understand? you keep your fucking mouth shut if you know whats good for you!" stupidly enough you couldn't help the smile or small flutters in your chest as you heard this dangerous man defend you so quickly, even if it was murder...Something about it made you special? dare you say cared for? Fletcher shook realizing his mistake to late.

"Yo-Your woman?....I'm so-sorry Mr Cavill I didn't know you had taken her for yourself...Ple-Please forgive me I didn't mean-" Henry growled waving him off if he let the man continue to grovel then they would be here all fucking day. He sighed rolling his eyes before continuing.

"One check...One five minuet check and you could have avoided this fucking mess...There is no Stephan clermont...I’m pretty sure he was a fucking agent, we are not sure what branch.. You let an agent into your fucking cafe! Fuck knows what he has seen and heard because you didn't screen him properly..."

"H-he was a what? Oh fuck oh fuck! Mr Cavill? I'm sorry I am so sorry please..I-I didn't know! You have to believe me!" The poor man all but got on his hands and knees,pleading with the kingpin opposite him. He was trembling as the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Henry sat back keeping silent, he wanted to make the man squirm for a few moments, he thrived of the terror permeating the room.Finally he moved forward tilting his head sighing.

"However it has worked in my...Our favor....Hasn't it little one?" You shrunk into Kal as Fletcher looked at you shocked seeing you sitting by the door on the huge leather sofa,you scowled at him wanting desperately to launch the book in your hands at him, to scream and shout attack him even.

"Y/n? Yo-your okay? Thank god I was so worried- I was sure Henry wasn't going too hurt you...But there was still a doubt...But he hasn't and your here!" you stood up seeing red, Fletcher flinched as Kal strode past him looking at him warily. A part of you wanted Kal to take a bite but you didn't want to see him turn like that, he was the only one you trusted not to hurt you in this house. Tears blurred your eyes as you struggled to temper your anger.Worried?How dare he! How fucking dare he say that to you! Your stomach clenched as you finally registered his words. But before you had any time to think it over you was already screaming at him. Henry slowly pushed himself out from the desk waiting for the blow up about to happen.

"BULLSHIT! BULL-SHIT YOU WASN'T WORRIED AT ALL! YOU CUNT YOU FUCKING SET ME UP, USED ME AS SOME FUCKING BARGAINING CHIP FOR WHAT?" You screamed at him moving across the small space towards him spitting out your words, you didn't notice Henry move to focused on the man in front of you as you gained on him as he shuffled back nearly tripping over the chair beside him.

"I TRUSTED YOU! WHAT DID YOU GET? WHAT DID HE FUCKING GIVE YOU HUH? TELL ME FLETCHER JUST WHAT WAS I WORTH?" He took another step back unprepared for your out burst he stumbled back. You cried as your anger overwhelmed you Henry bypassed him capturing your arms in his hands pressing you back with little effort. Standing between you and Fletcher, his massive frame concealed him, a huge wall of sculpted muscle. You frowned up at Henry for a second only to twist your head to the side around him and carried on screaming at the sleazeball cowering behind him.

"DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?! TELL ME DAMNIT!" You cried as Henry quickly pulled you away from the man you struggle feebly as you was directed away from the man you wanted to claw at.

"I thought you were going to be safe! I was sure Henr-Mr Cavill wouldn't put you in the circuit in town-" You fumed crying torn between anger and despair. Henry finally moved sitting back down holding your heaving form flush against him making you lean his hand resting across your abdomen he moved kissing your hair. He rocked you slightly the caring gesture seemed to flip a switch as you immediately crumbled into his chest, your nerves were shot and you had just about enough. You gave in to the need for comfort, wanting someone to hold as the days rollacoaster finally caught up with you. You moved turning shifting on his lap tucking yourself into him sobbing, clutching and twisting at his shirt. Henry adjusted his hold on you, cupping your legs and widening his own to support you more comfortably.

"I ha-hate you...Why?...Why did yo-you do this?....." you brought a hand up to your face wiping away the tears looking up at Henry completely lost falling apart at the seams, you looked at him in that moment for answers. For reasons and reassurance.

"There is a fine line between love and hate, hasn't anyone ever told you that pet?" He smiled when you looked at him confused then sobbed he pulled your face to his chest again.

"What did I do to deserve this?" You whined against him ,loosing yourself into something you still didn't understand yet. Henry smirked feeling you give in. He just began shushing you and rubbing your back soothing you, his eyes on Fletcher the whole time. Fletcher watched in fear seeing first hand just what this man's cruelty truly was, how he had gotten under your skin and manipulated you, twisted you into doing exactly what he wanted. How he can redesign and remold anyone to suit his own ends. And that was his strength. That was the secret to his power Henry was a silver tongue and master at mind games. He made the game and everyone around him was playing it whether they knew it or not. Fletcher gulped he knew he wasn't going to walk away from this, there was no escape you cannot outsmart this man. You cannot win against the devil himself.

To anyone in that moment Henry looked like the cat who'd caught the canary.A king sitting on his golden throne with his little sacrifice curled up in his lap. So pleased with himself and how things were playing out as he allowed you to wrap yourself around him willingly as you wept into his chest. Fletcher could see through the veneer for the first time and what he saw terrified him. Just what had he gotten himself into? And more importantly how was he going to get out of it?

Henry moved slowly whispering into your neck as he tilted his head down.

"Shh love thats enough....shh shh its okay your okay I'm here....Thats it good girl..... No need to get yourself so worked up...what's done is done and we can all put it behind us....." he finished with a chaste kiss to your neck , you could feel how Fletcher was uncomfortable as Henry worked on your neck slowly sucking making you gasp and wriggle as he dug his teeth in determined to make a show for the other male. He smirked against your neck as you whined, one of his hands had slid up under your skirt digging his fingers into the raised welts from yesterday,you flush as you jolted you hips to escape his hand. You felt ashamed as you enjoyed the thick thighs below you rubbing across your ass even if it did sting, you have almost no control as his words relaxed you. Letting you melt into him closing your eyes giving yourself into his soothing tone.

Henry finally looked up at Fletcher through his lashes mouth still hovering at your neck he pulled back with a parting kiss, he moved his arms to wrap around you as he felt you settle into him completely relaxed , you had past the point of panic and simple stayed there soaking up what ever comfort he was willing to give you. Chuckling he grinned knowingly across the desk he knew the man across from him was panicking, that he had clicked that Henry was much more then he appeared and that letting him get away with this wasn't an option.

Well man? He was a little weasel- a little weasel that had owed him big time, tax avoidance wasn't the biggest thing Henry could help cover up usually he didn't bother but Fletcher was desperate when he came to him begging for his help. Two businesses and seventeen years worth of dodging the tax man ,national insurance pensions you name it he wasn't paying finding loopholes and then it had all caught up to him. It was enough to make anyone desperate when the tax man started asking too many questions, if he went down he wouldn't get out of prison at his age. So Henry decided to help, he needed to start somewhere in the new town and it was a piece of piss. He helped arranging everything, saving Fletcher's ass but it had come with a hefty price tag. Fletcher was getting brave after nearly a few months, out right refusing to pay him back. That is what prompted his visit to the crappy cafe, if he asked you probably wouldn't remember serving him or chatting to him but he did. He spent the days and weeks after obsessing over you, he was unsure how to go about seeing you he didn't want to leave anything to chance. He wanted you. He wanted to feel that peace that you caused in him, you were his refuge, his little piece of normality. It wasn't until the second visit to Fletcher that he had made a deal.It was simple, Fletcher had pleaded with him making promise after promise, first of money then assets, use of the cafe; which Henry had already been doing for smaller deals but then he finally offered something Henry actually wanted. You. He offered you as his payment saying that your were pretty enough and would make him a lot of money in the prostitution ring he had in town. He remembered that moment, he was filled with unadulterated rage and pure joy all at once. The mere thought of you being used in such a way made him want to step back and let his boys do their thing, yet he couldn't for the life of him let the opportunity pass.He was also frightened for you, the fact Fletcher was willing to sell you into that kind of life was to much of a risk, what if he sold you to someone else? And they did force you into that life?. No absolutely not he had to save you. Protect you. So he accepted.You for his debt. It was decided that you would keep working at the cafe for the time being.... With higher pay and better conditions, he couldn't have his woman struggling could he?.

He had got everything ready at that point he was going to become a regular customer and try to wrangle a date that way, yet when he visited you were never out front always in the kitchen. So he moved to his second plan the long game becoming your landlord and bumping into you as he visited the building...He would play himself of as a relative of one of the residents. It was the perfect plan he would have then have access to your building and apartment,have all security footage of you coming and going so he would know when to pop in he was going to up the security and such too. He could make it impossible for you to ignore him. Once you were going steady he would rocket the rent forcing you to move out....And in with him.That was the plan you'd have been content came to him willingly! thinking it was all meant to be just as much as him! You'd have fallen so in love with him all on your own!. All Fletcher had to do was keep you occupied for a few months as he bought your building. It wasn't a big ask really.Instead he had made you unknowingly train up your replacement. Stephen who he now knew had been posing as some danish pratt and HE had tricked you! quickly wooing you into a date.

"Fletcher...keep your eyes open for Stephan...I want him found...He gets in touch with you you tell me" he nodded quickly sensing this meeting was going to be wrapped up soon. You wriggled against Henry pulling yourself out of your safe space still desperate for answers.

"No! Tell me what happened?" You struggled as Henry brought his arms around you tighter grunting in your ear.

"Enough my love!...That is enough...Like I have told you its in the past! Unless you are already backtracking on our little deal?" You froze twisting to look up at him, his voice was calm but firm and sliced past your ear in hot breaths. You shook.

"No!-no I'm not...I just want to know...I need to know why? Why he did this? Please...." Henry sighed looking at you for a few seconds then to Fletcher who was literally shaking on the spot.

"Leave...As far as we are concerned you now fucking owe me again...Same as before my boys will be there to collect on Thursdays as usual and I will be watching you, you fuck up again and its over for you we clear?" He took a step forward gasping motioning to you.

"B-BUT I PAID IT OFF...YO-YOU GOT HER DIDN'T YOU!?" You froze as you got your answer. A debt. You were just a debt? Money... you thought he'd at least sell you of for something less common then money. You sat shell shocked not really sure why you expected it to be over something else but hearing him say it so freely made you, you wasn't sure hurt? Insulted even. Your thoughts were cut short a Henry replied confirming what you'd just heard.

"Yes your right I do have her... And she has agreed to stay here with me of her own free will" he kissed your temple and chuckled but quickly snarled as Fletcher turned on you.

"YOU LITTLE USELESS CUNT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" You jumped and cowered sliding back grasping Henry's hand for comfort as Fletcher moved forward arms raised as if you try and grab you. For a second you panicked that he would and held onto Henry tighter. It was then that Kal crept from beside the desk growling his heckles raising looking frightening as he stood tall staring at the frantic man. Henry moved you to one leg hushing you, he was pleased you wasn't facing him as he couldn't help the triumphant smile as he realized he was your safety net, it was a tiny move but in the right direction. You wanted him to protect you and he wouldn't disappoint. He turned from you and growled low you pushed in to his chest your breath picking up as he looped an arm stroking your hip in small circles as he leaned forward pulling open a drawer next you heard as a click of a gun being cocked.

Instantly Fletcher's new found confidence dwindled and he stood back.

"I'd advise you not to talk to my woman like that, you'll find I'm not very patient when it comes to things like that. You ever raise your voice to her again and it'll be the last thing you'll ever fucking do...Your useless do you understand?...Expendable...And remember its you who fucked up big time...You who caused all this....I don't know weather your worth all the fuss....and I have to ask myself weather you are worth the risk? I mean where does this leave you?.....Bar from finding Stephan your fucking useless now and to be honest I don't think he is going to contact you again...And you royally fucked up, you let an agent in your business, he knows what you've been doing...or more importantly what you haven't been doing...He also knows that you have ties with me and my...Associates and also thinks that you helped aid me in kidnapping...And that brings us full circle really, now I'm going to have to watch you. Have my men protect your business have the police and judge on my payroll find ways to overlook your cock ups all over again...Its only fair that you compensate me for all my hard work...Or I could end it right here..." Henry moved the gun higher aiming it at the quivering man before him, he was making a show wanting you to see he would never ever let anyone disrespect you or frighten you. He wanted you to know he was the boss and was here for you, that you could run to him and he would always protect you. He wanted to convey so much here and now but as he looked down at you he saw terror...You wasn't ready to see this side of business...You shivered turning to face him noticing his pause, he tilted his head and shushed you kissing your lips softly you closed your eyes tight and moved your hands clutching at his shirt. He sighed looking back up.

"But...I don't want to frighten my little one here...shes had a trying day already so you'll just have to settle for the Vonnie brothers have a go they are back this afternoon." He moved tilting his hand with the gun checking his watch smirking, as the man tried to move out of the way.

"Two hours? you know what they are like messy brutal but they do get things done...And they do enjoy squealers you definitely fit that bill...Or you can go back the how it was before, nice and simple...so what will it be?" Fletcher just looked between the two of you and nodded.

"I-I will pay... I will tell you if he contacts me or I notice anything" Henry chuckled darkly at that watching in amusement as the man before him slumped looking to the floor giving up the fight defeated. Henry was a snake, you were within his coils before you realized what was happening and then once you were trapped like a rat that is when he decided to strike.

"That’s what I thought. Now fuck off"

within seconds the door shut and you were left in the office with him alone. Still placed on his lap you let out a breath you didn't know you was holding. he shifted you you face him knees spread around his waist ad he pulled you flush against him running his heavy palms up and down your thighs making you tense.

"Apart from your little outburst I am very please with you, such a good girl for daddy aren't you?" You blinked at him then looked to the door again.

"Are you gonna hurt him? When all this is over I mean?" Henry sighed his breath moving your hair.

"That doesn't concern you little one..If you start becoming to nosy I will have no choice but to correct you... You may have agreed to stay but that does not mean your free to do as you please, daddy is still very much in charge and will still spank you when your misbehaving...do you understand little girl?..." You just sighed sniffling you was tired to tired to even try and argue knowing that it would be futile you wasn't going to get any answers from him.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes Daddy"

It had been a week since Fletcher had visited. One week since you’d made the deal and one week days since Stephan had disappeared. You hadn't really been around Henry to ,much over the past week he had lots of meetings and phone calls. From What you could gather he had began changing locations and combing through his empire searching for bugs and stuff. You wasn't sure on details he caught you at the door once and that had swiftly ended with you over his knee in the office being spanked into hysterics then being stood in the corner pinning a penny to the wall with your nose holding your skirt up so he could 'admire his handy work'. You cringed at the memory your bottom tensing at the thought. Apart from that you don't really see him which is a god send in a way he was also to preoccupied with other things to touch you to much. You mainly saw him in the morning and evenings. Hearing raised voices from the office just beyond the sitting room. Henry was shouting at Luke again. No one knew where Stephan was but from what you over heard they had wheedled out another undercover agent, you wasn't sure what happened but Henry seemed pleased with himself over it. Suddenly the door opened and Luke staggered past dead on his feet moving down into the garage. You tilted your head to Henry who stood by the door sighing. He looked relaxed very happy...Maybe this was the time to ask him about it...See if they had any idea of where Stephan was...Who he was? over the past week you couldn't shake your doubts about him and the relationship you'd begun to build. the more you thought about it the more questions you had. And the more you began to question your feelings especially about Henry. It was concerning, you found yourself justifying his actions. You was starting to truly Question if he had taken you to protect you from Fletcher...If Fletcher was willing to sell you for his debt things could have been much worse you if you hadn't gone to Henry... You dread to think where you could be now. He also seemed to want to protect you from Stephan who you decided was just using you for cover and would only end up breaking your heart in the end. You blinked at the screen. The other terrifying reality was you had missed him this past week, you were isolated in this house and without Henry around it was really getting to you. It was late in the afternoon and you had spent the day watching films on Netflix in the living room. Trying to ignore the many questionable men and women coming in and out of the office. You looked at him as nudged Kal away and he took a seat beside you on the sofa rolling his sleeves up his arms.

"Hey love...What are you doing?" You moved the tablet showing him the screen coseying up to him below his arm as it settled across your shoulders, you took a deep breath breathing him in then stopped yourself.

"Watching stuff....Can...Can I ask you something?" he raised a brow at you has hand cupping your shoulder and looked down at you taking a deep breath.

"You can but it just because you ask doesn't mean I’m going to answer.." he finished with a grin then looked down at your face noticing how it had dropped as you swiped your your new tablet back to the home screen.

"Come on little one whats on your mind?" you sighed taking a breath. then face him for a second your breath hitched in your throat sometimes his looks just hit you, making your heart begin to jump in your chest you looked down flushing shaking your head going to flick back on your tablet only for him to cover the screen with his huge hand prying it from you.

"Now now don't be like that love, you remember what does daddy say about pouting?" you flushed again knowing exactly what he wanted to hear, you sighed trying to look down and hide yourself only for him to pull your face up again.

"If I don't stop pouting you'll give me something to pout about.." he nodded giving you a gentle kiss on your head.

"Good girl now tell daddy whats going on in that mind of yours" you sighed and twisted facing him fully. and opened your mouth a few times trying to figure out the best way to bring this up, you didn't want to set him off again you steeled yourself swallowing down your anxiety.

"I-I erm...I just wanted to know if..well I was wondering if you knew just wh-who Stephan was yet is all.." his frame grew rigid he blinked then opened his mouth then decided against what he was going to say, his eyes closed and his jaw clenched trying to compose himself. Then his eyes snapped open harsh and burning trapping your own gaze.Oh shit.

"And why would you need to know that little lady? Are you planning something little one?! Tell me your not still hoping he will come and whisk you away from me?! is that what you want?! for him to come and try to rescue you? to fall in love with that lying little rat?! When you have me?! and I finally have you...You are not going anywhere princess your mine or have you forgotten that?!" you tensed gasping as his voice got deeper carrying more weight with each word. You quickly started shaking as he pulled away from you sitting up taller his eyes grew wild as they darted across your form. You swallowed seeing the frantic madness in him coming to the surface, you needed to pacify him and fast. You leaned forward grasping his knee.

"N-No nothing like that I promise...It's just Ive been thinking a lot over this week..." you grew more worried as your words did not have the desired effect. He growled gripping your bicep holding it tight, you didn't wince or pull away you knew he would read to much into it. instead you sat there before him trying desperately to close the can of worms you had just opened.

"NO! Not like that...Please-Please Daddy I don't mean...H-he lied to me and..and he was using me I know what we hav-HAD wasn't real I-I see that now I just wanted to know who he was, Who he worked for to bring it home...For closure...Then I can move on..I don't want to think of him anymore but I cant stop wondering" that seemed to have helped as he took a deep breath his hard eyes softened and he let his grip on your arms loosen making you sigh in relief.

"Yo-You don't want him to come get you? you know he doesn't love you? he doesn't! he can't no one can love you, not as much as i do you know that don't you? that I love you so so much you are my world,Mine the most important thing in my life" you took a slow breath at his desperate words, his views and words still frighten you and these dark turns are still a worry. But you find yourself able to navigate them easier each time he has one. You swear he is schizophrenic or something, tho not as violent as they had been in the beginning they still happen at the slightest of things. you forced what you hoped was a convincing smile ready to butter him up praying to god this next line helps rather then hinders.

"No...I don't want him to come get me...I'm yours Daddy, your little girl...I agreed to stay here..I'm sorry, I just don't want him to haunt me when I'm trying to move on...With you...Ive missed you." It works, you can see in his face how his eyes sparkle and his jaw hangs slack suddenly your pulled in tight his arms caging you to his massive frame.

"Oh baby girl...Daddy is sorry...I'm so sorry I snapped at you I should have known!.. My precious little one! of course your finding it hard to move on...That boy has really messed with your head huh? tricking you like he did, leading you on...Your okay now I promise I won't let him hurt you ever again" he moved back cupping your face in both hands then kissed your cheeks his gaze was calm full of understanding and wonder. you sighed nodding to him know full well that it was best to agree. he tugged you up onto his thighs with a soft grunt puling you forward, you put your weight on your knees either side of him hovering lightly thee skirt you wore offering no protection from him what so ever. if he noticed your hesitance he didn't comment on it to wrapped up in himself as he tugged you closer making you gasp as your center came into contact with his bulge. You hissed whining as he pressed you harder onto him chuckling making him smile.

"Oh Sweetheart I know...I've missed you two but daddy is doing everything he can so we can stay together...I love you little one and as much as it pains me to be apart from you I do still have an empire to run hmm?" you blushed as he groaned a little moving you by your hips making you rock onto him.

"But fuck baby girl your so hot...I can feel you through my trousers" You gasped clutching his arms trying to make him stop as he let his head fall back bucking up into you coming to life below you. He laughed moving your skirt up your thighs making it rest high and shuffled down leaning back on the soft cushions tugging you down onto his chest by your wrists. He spread his thighs wider the with the sole purpose to force your legs to part further your body slide down his erection now pressing into your lower tummy. Once he had you laid across him he hummed into your ear holding you close before slowly letting a hand slither down your back sliding over your ass and cup the apex of your spread thighs below you. You tensed as he did this trying to pull yourself up.

"Ah Ah shh shh that's it baby don't worry Daddies got you...I wont let you fall love...Oh I know I know princess." you whined as he moved his fingers slowly over you grazing the pads of his fingers across your lips teasing the delicate flesh making you look around the room making sure no one was going to walk in on you. He sighed watching you for a few seconds then tilted your head to him.

"Hey eyes here pet...that's it...I'm sorry I haven't been around but luckily everything is now sorted out and we can spend our days together again...No no look at me princess...that's it good girl" you arched up as his fingers wandered forward capturing your clit in two fingers pulling and rolling it until making your walls flutter to life rocking down and forward unsure if you was trying to dislodge him or move him into a different pattern. he smiled tilting his hand so his thumb ran across your slit as he continued to manipulate your little bud. You twitched trying in vain to close your legs. but your thighs were no match for his as he held firm using one hand to gather your hair tucking it behind your ears as you bit your lip rocking against his wicked hand feeling you coat his thumb as he smeared it across you.

"Ah-AAHH F-fucK! PLease..pleEASE DA-oh god" you closed your eyes as he worked you up into a frenzy your cried gasping choking on air. Pressing the side of your face to his chest panting as he tilted his hand quickly rewarding your weeping center with two thick fingers knuckle deep holding them still. Groaning as your heat swallowed him rippling around him smiling he just kissed the top of your head, you quivered over him panting out small breathy whines. He got to work bringing his other hand to one of your thighs rolling the soft flesh massaging you as he scissored his fingers back and forth inside you. Then he began dragging them in and out making sure to open you up as far as he could with the digits, changing his angle slightly each time pressing on different nerves. You jumped yelping as the pads of his finger tips skimmed the soft patch of nerves that he has become accustom to stroking. He grunted winding his free arm around your waist then used as much strength as he could, pinning your torso to his own need then quickly started pounding his fingers into that tiny spot of nerves bouncing you faster and faster making your tummy rub him through his own clothes sighed and grunting he started bucking his hips up to you. He hissed closing his eyes concentrating on the sounds you made, from the smallest of gasps as your breath got stuck in your throat to the louder more erotic moans and cries that his fingers forced out of you. He groaned louder joining you making your own duet of lustful cries. he hissed as he tensed his arms your tummy trapping his head between your torsos he moved his wrist hearing the wet slaps of his hand against you in a furious rhythm, definitely ready for another. he added a third finger and began curling them making you arch almost painfully tensing your legs trying to wriggle away from him when they pressed harder and harder to your weak spot.

"AHH UGHFUH-FUCK NOnoOnoOO!...PLease not-NOT HERE PLEASE DADDY!" he grunted in response a you sat back up only to curl back down into him mouth open over his shirt crying out trembling. Trying to hold your release not wanting to leave any evidence in such a public room in the house. he slowed a little but only for a few short seconds as he moved another finger extending it making every stroke torture as the digit rolled over your taught clit. You clenched trying to hold back but couldn't finally grunting louder than you meant to as you rocked desperately onto his hand tears streaming down your face as your climax made your body cramp , nerves burning and shuddering as he forced you to melt across his hand. panting you fisted your hands in his shirt shivering whimpering into him trying to catch your breath. he moved his hand away wiping your own release on your back letting it seep through your blouse you blushed and sobbed feeling your own warmth heat your back in puddles.

"Such a good girl...so good for me my love...OH look at all of that hmm? you really have missed me haven't you?..I promise I wont leave you alone this long ever again.." he moved you to sit up with one hand you looked down seeing the clear puddle below you on the floor and sobbed harder shaking your head at him embarrassed.

So wrapped up in your own mortification you hadn't realized what he was doing. his hands crept to his trousers with a few quick tugs ha was free standing tall and proud was quick to guide your hands to his raging erection. you jumped gasping trying to pull away but his grip was tight.

"Shh shh that's it little one...It won't take long here...Just hold it gently like this" he moved your reluctant hand making you grip him at the base then looked at you nodding to your other hand expectantly. You swallowed looking down at him still panting every so often trying to hold your breath. you met his eyes again and he smiled nodding to you.

"Go on...The longer you wait the longer we will be here" you looked down.He was firm and hot in your hand, you could feel his pulse on your palm from the thick veins that climbed across the flesh from root to tip, he was thick your hand felt tiny holding him. Slowly you took a deep breath wanting to get this over with. You just knew he wasn't letting you anywhere with out finishing him off. Moved your other hand to hold him above the other. your reward as a beaming smile. you blinked at him then slowly gave an experimental squeeze making him groan and bring his legs up a little quivering. At first your movements were light, slow then he intervened making one hand grip him tighter moving you faster. Then through his head back praising you closing his eyes.

"Here like thii-OH FUCK!" he swore as you tightened your fist watching your hands as his thick head dripped precum over you hand. It was hard to pull your gaze away forgetting about him as he through his head back moaning loud and grunting into the room. Not willing to miss this he moved his head resting the side of his face on the back of the sofa watching you through half lidded eyes. you blushed when he watched you, not your hands. Your face as you moved faster with both hands. You licked your lip watching his lips form a perfect 'o' then biting his lip as he began moving again thrusting his cock into your palms. You shook your head and paid attention to your hands telling yourself you were watching him to try and see what would help get this over with quicker, but in all honesty you needed a distraction from his handsome fucking face. Watching the way the head of his cock was getting a deeper color going from pink to red and fading fast into purple as you stoked away at him. How his cum came through thicker creamier as you worked it up and down on him. You enjoyed the way he bucking into your hands and clawed at the sofa watching his length slid through your palms finally, just as you thought his crown was going to go blue he swore loud grunting and thrusting into your hands.

"UGH F-FUUUCK YESyesYESFUCK B-BABY DONT STOP! UH UHAAGGH!" his moments through you for a second but you was quick to, on reflex you squeezed him tighter so he wouldn't slip away from your hands making him growl at you as he released across himself. you squeaked as he shot his load drawing a line across your chest making you freeze and cringe. he panted looking to the ceiling in a daze a lazy grin across his lips. You blinked looking around for something to wipe his cum from your top. Before you could move he laughed forcing you to lay down on him again ignoring your protests making you lie flush against him dragging you up to his face as he panted. then moved his face to you neck kissing you.

"Thank you Little one...Daddy really needed that..." you whined against him wanting to run to the shower feeling dirty and sated all in one. he took a deep breath in then stood up slowly on shaking knees cupping your ass then nodded to you.

"Put daddy away and we can go upstairs and have a nice hot bath together...how does that sound baby?" you whined making him raise a brow at you grabbed him quickly but he hissed

"Fuck careful baby you've left daddy sensitive...Play nice...that's it slowly god girl.." slowly you moved his cock tucking it back into place and zipping him up choosing not to delay, the longer it was hanging out the worse you will feel about what just happened and you just wanted to forget the whole thing. he smiled kissing your cheek then moved around the sofa heading up the stairs.

Stephan growled out loud as he walked away from his handlers office. They still said they hadn't got enough evidence on Cavill even with everything he found out about you.or should he say the little he found out about you, you'd been kidnapped by him that much was clear but he couldn't prove it. The closest thing he had to proof was that you hadn't boarded a plane. Coincidentally all cctv of the police station around the time of you and Cavill’s arrival and departure was gone. The paperwork was all gone as he didn't press charges and no arrests were documented on your record , there was no record of his car being impounded either. Someone on the ground as covering for him. Someone high up was on his payroll. So he couldn't help you not only that but his handler was pissed at him, him going off on one had lost them a valuable spot in the investigation he was now benched for a week, stuck on desk duty as punishment for fucking up. He was now to risky to use in the operation and worst of all he couldn't do anything to save you for the time being. He was out unless he could find a rat, someone to double cross Cavill, finding someone that stupid was as rare as hens teeth. So here he was hands tied by bureaucrat bullshit and red tape all because he cared enough to try and find out something, to actually do something!.

He stomped out of the small house being used as the HQ for the sting. And made his way down the road to his new accommodation a cheap b and b on the outskirts of town. Cheap and cheerful and most important of all out of the way. Threes days....It had been a whole week since he saw you with Henry. The image of you burned into his head. Terrified crying he could see you wanted help and now with how his own investigation had gone down the drain he was afraid that no one not even the collaboration of FBI, CIA and MI5 could save you now, this man. Monster. Was just to cunning, to clean he was ahead of the curve on every aspect and as an agent all he can do for the time being is watch and pray Henry slips up or god only knows what was going to happen to you in the mean time.

#mob boss henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry cavill #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill is daddy

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puckyess · 4 years ago

Text

4 Times His Teammates Said “I Love You” + 1 Time He Did | Ryder Donovan

S/o to @penaltbox for being my favorite brainstorm partner and encouraging the hell out of me. Inspo: @that-fandom-stuck-in-your-head

I found the one TikTok that was deleted, so now all TikToks are linked!!

** FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED **

Words: 7.5k

Shay Donovan

You weren’t allowed to have favorites on the team outside of Ryder, but if you did it would be Shay hands down. The relationship you had with him was like that of a brother. He watched out for you and you for him. You’d play the part of his best wingwoman and he supported your relationship with his brother. You’d fight like siblings too. He knew exactly which buttons to press and you knew how to get under his skin. You knew each other well and this is what made you two Ryder’s worst nightmare. You constantly ganged up on him with his brother. You were able to get Ryder to do/fall for just about anything and that made you Shay’s favorite secret weapon.

The boys had some free time this weekend and wanted to make the 5 hour drive to Duluth to spend it on their boat since it would probably be one of the last times they would get to do so with the season ramping up. Ryder’s annoyance for you and Shay began promptly at 6 a.m. He was not a morning person and you definitely weren’t either, but Shay insisted you both get up early so that you get to the boat at a decent time in the day. He did not however, set his alarm for 6 a.m., rather 6 p.m. and was awoken by his brother’s shouts to get out of bed. You, on the other hand, were just running late because you thought you could get ready in a shorter amount of time than was realistic. By the time you and Shay make it down to Ryder, who already has the car packed and ready to go, he’s huffy. “You guys know I hate when you tell me a specific time and then you show up late”. “Well this should be a fun trip, right Rizzer?”, Shay speaks up with fake enthusiasm. You shoot Shay a look from the front seat as a signal to shut the hell up, to which Ryder appreciates.

The first hour is pretty smooth, not a whole lot of talking going on in the car. Everyone just appreciating the sunrise, or at least that’s what you thought until you glanced in the backseat and saw Shay sound asleep. At your “awh” Ryder moved his eyes from the road to the rear view mirror. “So that’s why it’s been so peaceful”. Even though you laughed you gave Ryder’s hand that was on your thigh a light squeeze. “Don’t be so grumpy Rydes. This is going to be a fun weekend, I just know it”. He can hear the smile in your voice without even looking over and he knows you’re right, flashing you his signature bright smile of his own.

As if he knew he was being talked about, Shay begins to stir. The quietness is disturbed immediately upon his awakening. He takes over the AUX and the road tripping can finally begin. Him and Ryder argue over music, whether to play alternative or country and which has more of a summer vibe, until finally a summer playlist, containing both is chosen. You pick up your phone, scrolling through some Tiktoks when you find one you just have to send to Shay. You watch as he gets the notification and opens it immediately. The music is broken up, replaced with the voice of a guy saying, “Send this to someone you don't like. You look like a rat, and you are so fat. I would be so sad, if i looked like that”. You’re dying laughing in the front seat at the offended look on Shay’s face and the death glare he’s receiving from Ryder. “I hate you” is all Ryder spits out, as this is a regular occurrence in any car ride. You love how you can get Shay in trouble without even really trying and how Ryder only yells at his brother when you’re the one who sent it to him.

The rest of the ride is spent on the highway and though you love the singing of the boys in the car with you, you’re getting pretty bored just watching the trees pass by so you say, “Let’s play a game!”. They both look at you like you’re 12.

“What? It’ll be fun I promise”. They shoot you skeptical looks, but ask what the game is anyway.

“It’s like license plate bingo kind of. You see the type of car first, you call it out and then you get to punch whoever you want”, you say with a shrug.

“Ooo, I like this game”, Shay says rubbing his palms together as he studies the list of “rules” you sent him: Slug bug, no punchbacks. PT Cruiser, get a bruiser. Tacoma, put you in a coma. Kia, wouldn’t wanna be ya, could be substituted with kia kick. Big truck, no luck. Subaru slap. Jeep jab. Honda hit. Train, feel the pain. You read them out loud to Ryder so that he can play too while he drives. Ryder shakes his head as you continue down the list, clearly not as impressed as Shay was.

“Where do you come up with this stuff, Y/N?”, but he agrees to participate nonetheless.

The rest of the ride is now much more exciting, everyone on high alert for a vehicle that would allow them to inflict pain on a passenger. You and Shay are admittedly better and much more active in the game since Ryder has to also pay attention to the road. As a result, he also ends up taking most of the hits, both from you and his brother. Everytime you would excitedly jab him, he’d give you puppy dog eyes. He was easy pickings, as he was right next to you, but the sad eyes did make you choose Shay as your target a little more often.

After Shay slugs Ryder in the arm for about the fifth “Kia, wouldn't wanna be ya”, his personal favorite, Ryder expresses his annoyance for the game. “This is abuse. I can’t even play right since I’m driving. The only person I can hit is Y/N, and unlike some people”, he says, shooting you a look, “I don’t enjoy hitting my significant other”.

You just roll your eyes at him, but Shay is quick to jump in, unhappy that Ryder is squashing his fun. “Awh can widdle brudder not take a few punches? You’re going soft, Ryder” Shay says with his fake baby voice.

You know it grates on Ryder’s nerves like no other so you call the game quits before they engage in an argument in the small space. Luckily, you were just pulling into the drive leading to where the Donovan’s call home. Getting out of the car Shay throws an arm around you, “I liked our game, Y/N. Very fun. We should play it more often”.

You all enter the house long enough to drop off the bags and pack some snacks for the boat. Shay leans over to you. “Want to see something funny?”, he asks with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. You raise your eyebrow at him in response. “I’m going to get Ryder in trouble with only four words”, he promises. You use your hand to gesture him on to whatever it is he has planned.

“OW, Ryder! Ryder, stoppp!” He suddenly yells. Ryder, who was digging through the fridge, turns around, giving Shay a confused look as if to say “Wtf”.

“Ryder, seriously! Stop!”, he continues yelling.

“Knock it off!”, their mom calls down from upstairs. Ryder’s clued into what’s happening now, giving his brother a little shoulder check as he passes him to drop the strawberries on the island, just in time for his mom to come around the corner.

“Ryder stop!”, Shay yells at his brother one last time for good measure.

“Seriously, Ryder? You two are home for not even two minutes and you’re already trying to test my patience? And with a guest in the house. Did I teach you boys nothing?”, she reprimands her sons and you have to hide your smile as Shay’s plan plays out accordingly.

She’s bringing you in for a hug then and eventually her two sons the same. She catches up with the boys for a few minutes, but knows they’re impatient to get to the boat so she doesn’t chat for long.

Once she leaves the room you turn to Shay, “I have to say, I’m impressed. I didn’t think it would be that easy.” Shay has a very pleased smirk on his lips.

“I used to do it when we were kids, all the time. Good to know it still works now too, isn’t that right, Rydes?” he says nudging his brother.

Ryder looks back and forth between you and his brother, shaking his head. “You were in on this? You two are the worst. I’m about to drive back to Wisconsin and leave you both here”, he says with a huff.

Unfortunately for Ryder, your antics with Shay weren’t finished yet. While he was driving the boat, Shay had found a Tiktok that he wanted to make, but he needed your help to do it. You were lounging at the front of the boat when Shay brought it to you, explaining his plan.

“Okay, so I’m going to sit over there and just act like I’m on my phone, but I’m actually going to be filming. You’re going to put your fingers like this”, he says showing you his thumb and pointer finger touching like in the ok sign, “and then tell him to do that on his chin, but put it on your cheek. “I want to see how many times it’s going to take him to get it right. My bet is 5. You in?”.

You felt bad goading your boyfriend like that, but you knew he was the perfect victim for it. You loved Ryder, but he was a little slow to catch onto things sometimes. The punchline of jokes? Not his thing, he’d get it a few seconds after everyone else and even then, sometimes you weren’t really sure if he even got it then. It was a wonder how he played such a fast paced game and came up with chirps on the fly. Mulling it over once more, you finally nodded your head. “Yeah, I’m in, but $10 says it’s going to take him 8”, you say with a wink.

Shaking on it, he says, “I like the way you think. You have a deal”.

Getting up you go over to your boyfriend, trying not to feel guilty. “Babe, I have a test for you”, you say as innocently as possible.

“And what is that?”, he asks, giving you his full attention.

“Put this,” Showing him the same sign Shay showed you, “on your chin”, demonstrating for him, placing the ok sign on your cheek.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Is this a tiktok or something?” he asked, looking around for your phone. Your eyes widened with fake offence as you pointed to your phone over on your towel. “Babe, do you see me filming? My phone is way over there. It’s fine. Just put this on your chin”, you said, once again demonstrating for him.

He looked around, still suspicious. “You’re not going to hit me right? This isn’t another one of your ‘beat up on Ryder games’?” You shook your head, promising him you wouldn’t even touch him. Satisfied with that, he gave in to your request, like he always did and copied your actions. Meanwhile, Shay was trying his hardest to remain camouflage but his brother’s predictable actions were making it very difficult to not start laughing behind his phone.

You repeated your phrase again, “Put this on your chin” and he again mirrored your movements, putting his ok sign on his cheek and looking at you expectantly. You tried again, enunciating the “this” as you watched him. He again put his fingers on his face.

You tried not to laugh, repeating the phrase, trying to clue him in as you said the words slowly this time. “Put this on your chin.” He studied you real hard this time, but copied your placement exactly with his ok sign on his cheek.

You tried again, “Put this,” showing him your ok sign in front of his face and speaking slowly, “on your chin”. This time the poor boy grabbed your wrist, bringing your ok sign to HIS cheek and waiting for your approval. This time you had to let out a little chuckle and as you glanced over at Shay he was ready to bust a gut trying to hold back his laugh. You tried to compose yourself, as you tried to get your boyfriend to do the simple task.

“Put this on your chin” you practically yelled at him. Even though he was frustrated with what you were saying, he had a big smile on his face because you did. “I’m not fucking stupid” he said through laughs and grabbed your hand with two hands this time and put it on his cheek.

You were really laughing now, pulling your hand away and trying one last time. “Ryder. Put this. On your chin”, you said hoping this time would stick. But nope. The boy really put that okay sign on his damn cheek and really had the audacity to look at you to say he did it right.

You took a deep breath, trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard. “On your chin”, and he just looked at you, processing what you just said and then finally his hand shot to his chin and he started laughing again. “Oh shit”. You started cheering for him and Shay practically exploded from his spot as he fell to the floor laughing.

“Oh my god. That was too good. I’m so posting this”, he said between laughs.

“I believe you owe me 10 bucks, Shay. Pay up”, you responded with your hand out.

Ryder once again was stuck looking between you and Shay. “You set me up!” he accurately accused. “And you BET on it? You bet against me?” he said, turning to you. Seeing the hurt look on his face you felt bad.

“Rydes I didn’t bet against you per say, I just guessed how many times it might take you to catch on to what I was saying. I love you though”, you say as you run your fingers up and down his arms at an attempt to get him to forget your tricks. He’s not pleased with your answer though.

Now you’re pouting and sticking your lip out at him, throwing Shay under the bus. “It was Shay’s idea!”.

“Dude!” Shay exclaims.

You roll your eyes at him, “Oh like he didn’t already know”.

The slight frown on Ryder's face had turned into a small smile as he spoke to Shay. “I can’t believe you turned my own girlfriend on me. You guys are being extra annoying today”.

“It’s all for the tiktok, bahd” Shay answers with a shrug, unbothered by his brother’s annoyance.

You, however, spent the rest of the afternoon trying to suck up to Ryder.

“I hate you,” you said as you passed Shay to get to the cooler to fetch Ryder a drink for the fifth time as part of your penance. Shay just grins up at you, shooting you a wink. “I love you too, my little partner in crime”.

---

The following weekend you’re out with the guys, walking down State Street and a car passes your group. Shay glances at you and then Ryder and an ear splitting grin takes over his features. Lightning fast he hits Ryder, yelling “Lamborghini, hit you in your weenie!”.

You stop in your tracks as your boyfriend doubles over in pain and you double over in hysterics. The guys, as well as the few passerbyers who had heard Shay’s outburst look on in confusion.

As you finally catch your breath you move to help your still struggling boyfriend. You crouch down so you can see his face as you ask if he’s okay, but his grimace tells all. There’s nothing you can really do for him but let him breathe it out so you stand back up, high-5ing Shay. “That was pretty good,” you say shaking your head at the memory of what just happened and your road trip from last weekend.

“How long did it take ya to come up with that one?”.

He proudly announces that he’s been thinking of new ones to add to the list all week.

“Whoever introduced you two was a real idiot and is 100% regretting that decision” Ryder says from his still bent over position. You only offer your hand to help him stand straight in response.

Shay’s animatedly trying to explain the game to the boys, who all seem very excited to play. They spend the rest of the walk to KK punching each other and calling out the phrases as they search the cars lining the sides of the road. You walk a few steps behind them with Ryder leaning on you for a little support and maybe some protection.

“You’ve really created a monster now” he sighs, watching the boys.

All of a sudden he strikes your arm. “PT Cruiser, get a bruiser!”, he hollers and takes off down the street, suddenly fine. He looks back at you with a big grin.

You shake your head, “Smooth, Ryder Donovan, smooth” and you chase after him.

Mike Vorlicky

Being in a group chat with a bunch of hockey players meant that you were no stranger to your phone blowing up with nonsense, but you knew the boys were at practice, as Ryder had left for it 15 minutes ago, so when you heard more pings from your MacBook- 4 in a row to be exact - all from Mike, you knew something was up. Quickly checking your phone, your brows knit as you read the succession of messages, confirming your suspicion that something was definitely up.

“Y/N! SOS.”

“I know you have your phone, I NEED YOU”

“Come on my ass is about to be shipped back to Edina”

“Y/N! I hate to do this, but Ryder got hurt on the way to practice. I mean like really hurt”.

The messages didn’t make sense, but the last one had you calling Mike immediately.

“Oh, thank God-'' he answered, but you cut him off, wanting to know about the status of your boyfriend.

“What happened? How is Ryder? Where are you?”. The pause on the other end of the line had your heart beating in your ears, filled with anxiety and worry for your boyfriend, at least for a moment.

When you heard “Dude she’s gonna kill you” from Cole in the background, a different emotion filled you.

“Mike Vorlicky, what the HELL is going on?”

Despite the anger and annoyance in your voice, Mike still let out a smug chuckle. “I knew that last one would get you to answer your damn phone. But listen-“

“So he’s fine? Nothing happened?”, you asked just to be sure.

When Mike lets out a nervous chuckle you release the breath that you had been holding. “I should hang up on your ass right now, Vorlicky. You can’t just-“

“No seriously, Y/N this is important. You can yell at me later, but will you pleaseeee, pretty please with a cherry on top please bring me my practice jersey? I was serious about coach shipping me out. This is like the third time. He’s gonna bench me next game and my parents are coming to this one...”.

Even though you were extremely pissed off at him for even speaking into existence your boyfriend getting hurt, you also couldn’t deny him or any of the boys when they needed your help and he knew that. After letting out a groan you asked him where the jersey was and made your way over to his dorm. Getting into his building was scarily easy and the jersey was surprisingly right where he said it would be, laid out on his bed. It’s a wonder how he forgot it.

Minutes later you were pulling up to the practice facility and walking through the glass doors that led to the rink. You were met with cool air and smiling faces. As the boys noticed you began to head your way, but not before Mike rushed over. He was coming so fast he barely had time to stop before he hit the boards and wrapped you in a hug, “I love you so much right now I could kiss you” he said, taking the jersey from your hands.

“Don’t even think about it, Vorlicky” Ryder called to him as he made his way through the boys to give you a quick kiss before the whistle blew signifying practice starting, just in time for Mike to slip the jersey over his gear.

Owen Lindmark

Cooking had never been your thing, still having never really gained that skill even after living on your own. But as much as it was not your best quality, it was even less so for the boys that were about to come crashing through your door any minute. Dating Ryder was amazing and equally as amazing were the 20 other boys who’ve you’ve come to call close friends that came along with him.

You had just gotten an air fryer and were excited to test it out. You’d been promising the boys you’d cook for them for weeks and figured what better time to do so than now. They had a big rematch coming up that weekend against PSU anyway so you had told Ryder to invite some of his teammates over for a mini team dinner.

You were pretty impressed with yourself you had to admit. Not only had you planned a full meal and dessert, you had timed it perfectly so that everything was just about finished as you heard the door unlock.

“Honey, I’m hooommee”, Shay called out as he dropped his bag in the pathway of the others behind him.

You shook your head as you stirred the marinara sauce one last time, knowing that the pet name bugged Ryder even though it was a movie line and he was so obviously joking.

“Dude it smells amazing in here”

“What’re we having?”

“I’m starving”, and curses could all be heard as the crew continued to pour into the apartment, the noise and chaos level instantly rising.

You cleared your throat and very dramatically tapped your spoon on your wine glass to gather the boys’ attention.

”First of all, everyone is to wash their hands before eating, please and thank you. Salad is already on the table. You guys can grab yourselves a plate, the pasta is over by the sink, the sauce is right next to it and then the chicken’s already been cooked in the air fryer so it follows your guys’ diets (kind of) and parmesan melted on it so you can just put that on top of the pasta. I have bread in the oven that I’ll bring out when it’s done. Oh and dessert for when everyone’s ready”. You barely finished your spiel before the boys were shoving each other to get in line.

Shay of course had battled his way to the front of the line, claiming seniority, Mike unsurprisingly behind him, followed by Lex, Owen, Cole and Dylan. For being as large as Dylan was, he had been easily bullied to the end of the line. Ryder stuck around, wrapping you in a hug and placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“You’re amazing for doing this. The boys haven’t shut up about it all week. You really went all out didn’t you, babe?” He asked with a proud smile on his face. His little acknowledgment coupled with how proud he looked made you blush. You knew he wasn’t lying about the boys obsessing over this meal either, as you had been receiving daily texts from each of them about it.

“Don’t get too excited, you haven’t even tasted anything yet. What if it’s the worst Chicken parm, you’ve ever tasted in your life?” You asked pouring on the dramatics. It was your first time using the air fryer after all, you had no idea how it would turn out and you were a bit nervous, but had warned the boys ahead of time that they may be ordering pizza instead.

Your disclaimer was countered by moans coming from the living room, a chorus of them actually. You and Ryder share a look before busting out laughing. “I guess there’s your answer for ya.” He replies, followed by a “No one better be having sex out there”.

You shoo him along so that he can eat with his friends and you can grab the bread out of the oven. After slicing it and putting it on a plate you deliver it to the vultures in your living room and prop yourself on the armrest of Ryder’s chair, rubbing his back as he eats.

The boys don’t stop gushing about your cooking as they continue to shovel food in their mouths. “This is seriously- the best meal- no, scratch that- food- I’ve had in months”, Cole says between bites.

“Hey, I just made you that really good burger and Mac cheese thing last week and you gave it 5 stars!” Dylan protests.

You and Owen lock eyes and instantly start laughing. “Dyl, did it come in a red box with a glove on the front?” You ask, still giggling. His eyes light up, happy that you recognize it and he nods.

“Dude, that’s Hamburger Helper!” Owen howls.

“And an insult to Y/N’s cooking”, Alex chimes in.

”Even this salad is more gourmet than Hamburger Helper, sorry bro”, Cole adds.

At this point everyone’s laughing at Dylan’s expense, yourself included. He’s immediately apologetic, hoping he didn’t truly insult your cooking, which just eggs the boys on assuring him that he did in fact insult you.

“Yeah, that’s like comparing Wayne Gretzky and Shay in hockey, but for cooking”, Mike chirps, feeling the need to get involved.

”Nice one Mikey. Dylan fucks up, but let’s roast Shay”, Shay retorts.

You grin, loving being a part of the relaxed banter that’s going on but wave them off. Dylan attempts to grumble out his weak defense, claiming that he’s from Canada and didn’t know about Hamburger Helper, just making you giggle harder.

“Okay, okay okay,” you say in an attempt to calm yourself and the room down. You were wiping tears from your eyes. “I’m going to go get the dessert so you clowns can get out of my apartment”.

Once in the kitchen you opened the cabinet by the fridge and felt around for the plate of brownies you knew you’d hidden up there so that the boys, specifically your boyfriend, wouldn’t pick at them before dinner. You felt a pair of hands on your hips. You had expected it to be your boyfriend, but with his body slightly pressed against yours you knew it wasn’t him.

“Need some help?”, the voice confirmed your thoughts. It was Owen.

“Please”, you said, accepting his offer.

He grinned once he pulled the plate down and saw the perfectly proportioned brownies. You had used one of those baking pans that had individual brownie shapes so that every piece had four edges, the best part and Ryder’s favorite.

“I love these, my mom makes ‘em like that. Smart to keep these hidden from Ryder”, he says with a wink. Though his tone is light toward the end with the little chirp at Ryder, you don’t miss the hint of sadness that laced his voice in the beginning. And he doesn’t miss the look of concern on your face either.

He puts the plate down and leans against the counter. “I love you for doing this tonight. I really can’t thank you enough. I needed this, the laughs, the home cooked meal”, he confesses, running a hand through his hair.

“Missing home a little extra?” You ask, knowing exactly how he feels.

”You could say that. I know the guys and I don’t say it enough, but we love you and appreciate how much you take care of us and keep us sane. What you do for Ryder is obvious, but stuff like this that you do extra for us, making a really good dinner and dessert, always letting us hang out here, and come to you with our problems. It means a lot”.

Not really having words for all that he’d just told you, but wanting to show him you really did care for him too, you wrapped your arms around him and gave him a good squeeze.

“Awh, O. I don’t know what to say. You and the boys are like family to me. You always have a second home here.” The sentimental moment is broken up by Mike shouting about dessert and someone telling him to shut up and stop being rude.

“I guess we better get this dessert to the boys so they can get out of your hair”, he says grinning.

Before letting him go you pull back and say, “Tell your mom I said hi when you call her later”. He picks the plate of brownies back up and you make your way toward the rowdy group occupying your living room.

“You know me too well. But I surely will let her know. I’m sure she’ll appreciate you keeping me alive”, he says with a chuckle.

Dylan Holloway

Everyone was huddled close together in the dimly lit booth as it came down to just Roman and Dylan, each with two fingers on the full pitcher in the middle of the table. The two boys were half out of their seats staring each other down. Roman had a smug smirk on his face as he watched Dylan sweat it out across from him, his mind clearly going a mile a minute.

The guys had just swept PSU and were definitely feeling themselves tonight. They decided to opt for the usual celebratory tradition of KK and Fingers, a game that Dylan was historically terrible at.

It was Dylan’s turn and he was still shaking his head, both at himself for overthinking a simple drinking game and at Roman who was continuously chirping him, which was not helping him decide. He only hoped the winning luck of the night would continue as he began counting down, “Three, two, one - two!”, Roman yanked one finger off the pitcher as Dylan left his two on, for a total of three fingers.

The team erupted as Dylan threw his hands in the air, “Fuck! I always lose this stupid, fucking game”.

“Drink up, bud!”, Roman chided him, pushing the pitcher closer to him on the table.

Dylan just groaned and stared at the full pitcher of unknown alcohol with a grimace.

“Come on, Dyl, you know the rules. Or at least you should, you’ve lost enough times by now”, Shay chirped from behind him. You felt bad for the guy because Shay wasn’t wrong. Of the handful of times you had watched and played the game, Dylan had lost all but maybe twice.

“You’re right Shay, maybe we should spice it up this time, eh? What do we think boys?” Mike suggests with a devilish smile and a rub of his palms. You don’t miss the look that he shares with Roman and your eyes narrow in on the boy who suddenly has a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Dylan, I dare you to go ask that girl for her number”, he challenges, nodding toward a blonde who had been looking over at the group.

Following his gaze you notice who exactly it is that he pointed out and you choke on your drink. You want to stop Dylan before he makes a fool out of himself, but he easily gulps down the pitcher and quickly makes his way over to the girl waiting for him. You can’t get your words out as you’re sputtering and coughing from your drink.

When you finally catch your breath you give Roman a shove and hiss “Fuck you Ro. What’re you doing? Aren’t you talking to that girl?”. He doesn’t answer, just shrugs as he watches on with a smirk plastered on his face, as if he knows exactly what is going to happen. Ryder nudges you in confusion at your little interaction with his teammate. Moving closer to him you filled him in on the unknown drama that was going on. “I played wingwoman for Roman a couple weeks ago so that he could pick up this same girl. Of course with my 90% success rate, he got her and I guess kept her. He’s been texting me about her all week”.

Suddenly understanding, he said “You have to go save D. The guys will never let him live this down” and you knew he was right. A freshman hitting on an older guy’s girl? Even if it was on a dare and even if her and Roman were just talking, it would still be embarrassing on Dylan’s part and chirp content for the team for the weeks to come.

So with a flip of your hair and a pat to Roman’s head you strode over to where Dylan was flirting with the blonde. He was really pulling out all the stops trying to earn this girl’s number, you had to give him that. You would even say that it actually appeared to be going well, but judging by the look that was on Roman’s face, you knew it wouldn’t end well.

“Excuse me, mind if I borrow him real quick? No? Ok great, thanks! I’ll give him back in just a second!”. You gripped his wrist with both hands and all but yanked him off the barstool until he was stumbling toward you, very confused. Once you were a few feet away, you steadied him with your hands. He was clearly annoyed with you.

“What the hell, Y/N? what’re you doing? I need to get back there. Things were actually going well”.

“And you will, D just listen to me for a second. I’m trying to help you here”.

“Help me? What’re you talking about?”.

“Dylan, Roman’s been talking to that girl for weeks now. He’s just trying to set you up because he knows she won’t actually give you her number because she’s with him so you end up coming back to the table empty handed and the guys can chirp you for weeks about trying to get with Roman’s girl”.

Realization washed over his face as he took in the situation. He glanced over at Roman’s now displeased but confused face and back at the girl who was seemingly waiting for him to return to the empty seat next to her.

“Whatever you have to do to get that number Dylan Holloway, do it. You can’t come back to that table empty handed, got it?”. He nodded furiously. “Good boy. Now go charm her pants off!” And with that you sent him on his way and returned to the group, all of whom were looking at you with quizzical faces.

You just shrugged it off saying, “He just wanted me to check if he smelled like beer. I guess she hates that stuff, only drinks Claws.” With that, Roman shoots you a look, knowing that was a load of shit and a jab at him. Her hatred of beer and love for white claws had been one of the many “fun facts” he had shared with you over the week. His attention turns as the guys erupt once again in cheers as the girl plants a kiss on Dylan’s cheek and sends him back to your table. He smiles victoriously as he stops in front of Roman. “I hope you don’t mind sharing your girl, she seems pretty into me”, he says and drops the napkin with her phone number on it on the table in front of Roman. The “ooos” and hollers from the boys are golden, but pale in comparison to the look on Roman’s face. Ryder fist bumps him and Dylan leans in to give your hand a squeeze, “I love you so much for that. The look on his face? Totally worth it. Really saved my ass. I owe you”.

Ryder wasn’t one to overuse the phrase “I love you”. He held great value in those three words and reserved them for times when it was just the two of you or for when the moment deemed necessary. Today was one of those moments.

He had gotten home from practice early to find you out on his balcony wrapped in a blanket and your computer on your lap. He hadn’t thought much of it as he shed his bag and went to wash his hands and make a snack, but the door was cracked and he could hear a familiar laugh that wasn’t yours. He stopped what he was doing and listened for it again. As if right on cue, his baby sister’s laugh found his ears. He debated with himself whether or not he should make his presence known. Curiosity eventually winning out, he decided to wait it out and see what his two favorite girls were talking about. He’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t ready to burst at seeing you voluntarily FaceTiming his baby sister.

His snack forgotten, he sat himself on the couch out of view and just listened and watched. He watched the way your hair fluttered with the breeze, how you focused your attention on the girl on the screen, and nodded your head in agreement with whatever she was saying. He watched the way you interacted with his sister and couldn’t deny the feeling that was consuming him.

Even more so he watched the way Clara’s face lit up as you spoke to her, a look he’d seen before, one she reserved for her big sister. It was one of idolization, respect, and love. He watched her smile and her head tip back as she laughed with you like you were her best friend. Mostly he watched as the two of you had become part of each other’s lives in a way he hadn’t even known.

He listened to the beautiful sound of your laugh mix with hers and to the way both of your voices were so animated with each other. He listened as you spoke naturally with her, your kindness genuine instead of just treating her as some little kid. He knew she hated that but had unfortunately had her share of heartbreak by girls who only used her to get to him. He hated that he had caused her any kind of pain, but loved that you had somehow found a way to right his mistakes. He knew right then and there that he’d never take you away from her and she wouldn’t let him.

His thoughts were broken up by you reentering the apartment.

“Having a stalker moment there, Rydes?”, you ask him with eyebrows raised.

Deflecting the question, he clears his throats and instead asks what you guys were talking about. “Didn’t you hear the whole conversation already?”, you tease him. He just rolls his eyes, so you divulge as you pull stuff out to make dinner.

“We were just checking in. She was making sure you were still alive, taking your vitamins, treating me right, our usual. She had some drama stuff, but V is busy getting stuff ready for the baby so she didn’t want to bother her. Oh, and we’re planning your sister’s baby shower! Well, Clara’s in charge but she wanted my opinion on some details”.

The feeling he had before as he watched you two only intensified as he discovered what you had actually been talking about.

“What do you mean your usual?”

You’d stopped adding ingredients to the pot as you looked up at him, realizing you had just let Ryder in on something you hadn’t planned on. “Um. You know how you FaceTime Clara every week? Well uh, I do too...that’s ok right? That’s not like weird?”

He processed the information you had just told him. You actually took the time out of your busy life to get in touch with his sister every single week and were asking him if that was ok? He hadn’t even imagined you doing that, but you continued to amaze him. The smile he gave you was so warm and full of love. “Of course that’s okay. I love that you do that and I’m sure she does too. I saw the way she looks at you, you know. The same way she looks at V.” Your heart swells at his comment and you almost start crying on the spot.

“So she’s coming to you with drama huh? Anything I should know about?”. You laugh and default to “girl code” aka Ryder doesn’t get any deets. Despite his best efforts, including puppy dog eyes, he doesn’t get anything out of you.

“You’re MY girlfriend, you can’t let my sisters convert you to their side already” he whines.

You laugh and respond with “Well would you rather I convert to your brother’s side? I’m sure Shay could pitch a good argument.” He looks offended that you’d even say such a thing and grumbles out a “no”.

After he’s decided he’s done pouting he comes around the counter and wraps his arms around you from behind, nuzzling his face into your hair. “You told Clara I treat you well, right?” He questions, still thinking about your conversation with her. You’re surprised to detect nervousness in his question and that he’d even ask that. Turning in his arms you answer him, wanting him to see the conviction in your face when you say “Of course, Ryder. You don’t ever need to doubt that, baby”. He looks relieved and surprises you again with a confession.

“Good. I want Clara to see how she should be treated. What good love looks like, a healthy relationship, ya know?”.

Tears start form in your eyes and it takes you a second to find your voice. Eventually you do and you gently pull his face down to yours, running your thumb over his cheek. You melt over the way he leans into your touch. Even though your voice is barely above a whisper, it’s strong as you tell him, “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been. You show me what love is everyday and inspire me to be better for you and for me. You are such a role model to her Ryder. When she looks at us, I promise you all she will see is genuine, pure love.”

His heart is beating so hard as he absorbs your words. He takes your wrist and pulls your hand to his lips. He kisses your palm then cups your face in his hands, bringing your foreheads together. His own eyes are glassy and throat thick as he tries to put what he’s feeling into words that will convey the same amount of strength and emotion. “Every time I think ‘she can't get any better’ you surprise me. Well not surprise me because I’m not surprised you get better, but- fuck! I can’t get my words out right now.” He can feel you smiling and takes it as a sign to keep going.

“What I’m trying to say is you keep loving me and showing me that you love me in new ways that I didn't even know existed. You’re always taking care of me before games, after games and practices. Even just asking about practice and my day and coming to my games, waiting up for me after road trips. The highs of winning and you right there with me are amazing, but what I love most and what are even better are when you sit there and watch us lose, me lose and you just know how to deal with me afterwards. I can’t tell you how much it helps me to have you hold me after a game or offer dessert or just let me bitch about it. The lows are better because you still want me after. Like even if I couldn’t play hockey anymore, you’d still want me. You still believe in me to do better next game. You inspire me to be better. Off the ice especially”, he takes a deep breath then and as badly as you want to say something, you don’t interrupt him knowing he still has more to say.

“You’ve shown me what it feels like to be loved. Really, truly loved. You take care of my friends, regardless of what they need and you do so out of the goodness of your heart. Watching you with my family, I can’t ever imagine you being anywhere else but a part of my family, Y/N. The fact that my favorite people in the entire world love you makes me so happy I can’t even describe it. You’re FaceTiming my baby sister of your own free will, planning a baby shower with her for my other sister? You keep up with Shay and get Boden out of his shell. I couldn’t dream it up better if I tried. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but somehow I was blessed with you and I swear to you, promise you I will never stop loving you, ok? I love you with my whole heart and then some, Y/N”.

The tears are absolutely streaming down your face and into his hands and his into yours. The moment had gotten so intense and so fast. These were rare between you two, preferring to keep the relationship light and fun, but occasional moments like this where you attempted to pour your whole heart and soul into each other would occur and you were left breathless every time. But of course, you couldn’t resist a good chirp.

“You’re gonna have a hard time topping that for a proposal, Donovan”.

#ryder donovan #shay donovan #owen lindmark #cole caufield #dylan holloway #roman ahcan #mike vorlicky #rydesdono

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