#yet I can’t get through any fantasy romance book

[rosencatholic]

I don’t know if it’s just publishers letting anything be published nowadays, but the fantasy romance genre used to be my favorite genre since I was a teen. Now I can’t even get through five pages without cringing or rolling my eyes at the terrible writing or the predictable characters and plot that I can see coming from miles away.

[fumifooms]

i know you aren't really into marcille/laios any longer, but since you went looking online for dungeon meshi doujins, did you happen to find any other marcille/laios ones? (funnily enough at the convention i was at a couple weeks back they had like five, but they were extremely over-exaggerated and personally i prefer my fan content relatively in character...)

Ok first of all: Yeah listen laimar doesn’t have a grip on me anymore but I still quite enjoy it! Just more passively… Altho I do have an analysis that focuses a lot on the importance they hold to each other in my early stage wips drafts, and listen in canon I do think they’re queerplatonic flavored, call me an ot3 qpr truther because Laios Marcille and Falin have a something going on and it transcends being put into a box. But hey hey I reblog laimar artworks I bought that recent doujin I put laimar fics in my -checks- 106 pages long to-read list… Also I have like 5 pages of fanfic prompts for them I may or may not get to writing. Though yeah I do feel bad whenever I notice people following after liking all my laimar posts haha

Sadly to get to the meat of the topic, not really… I don’t go to cons for lack of opportunity so whatever I find is through online. The one I got is The Fourth Basement Floor, it has an english ver and seems so so very in character I can’t wait to get it! Otherwise I’ve looked on Otakurepublic & Doujinrepublic since I use their services for merch from Japan, warning if you click on the link, there are 18+ ones and covers can be pretty explicit. I don’t remember any other laimar one except the one nsfw one I think, but on the plus side there are a lot of gen no ships doujins. I’m bothered because looking back I feel like the catalogue of doujins was wider when I looked all those months ago and it feels like I’m forgetting something hmm… I wish I could help more, but yeah 😔 Pixiv has many laimar comics up (in japanese) if that sates the hunger any

As consolation since I’m already here, why not show some of my laimar things laying around gathering dust I’m fond of. Don’t look if you don’t want to be spoiled for fics I may or may not write I guess? All down below is just laimar prompts

I spoke about some various ones and esp my timeline where she gets him into Daltian Clan here. "Laios… I was wondering, because you enjoy fantasy stories right? I was wondering if you’d like to give my favorite book series a go… It has monsters!" I love love love post-canon laimar where he gets the habit of chewing on her hair because he’s stimming and hungry. Like a goat.

Laios goes to Marcille for love advice.  "You like someone?! Do I know them?" She eagerly asked. "Erm… Yes…?" // Post-canon. He’s so nervous and puts his foot in his mouth n lets things slip out that he thought would give him away. (Comic) "You like someone??! What are they like? Who are they?" And he’s like "Well… She’s a half-elf." He’s like shit she’ll probably know right away. And she goes still. "I’ve never met another half-elf!! We’re so rare! You’re saying you met one and didn’t tell me???!" She’s shaking him. And then she goes still again, contempt drawing on her face. "Wait… Are you asking me for advice because I’m a half-elf?" Laios runs with it "Yes!! And because you’re so savvy with romance and what people like…? If, uh, if you were a half-elf, what would you like to get as a gift? What sort of confession would you want?" "… You saved it there. Okay so since I’m so knowledgeable on romance, tell me what is she like?" "-describes Marcille-" She nods, smug yet oblivious. "Aah I can already tell we’d be great friends. Good taste." (then Thinking bubble with him giving her flowers at a restaurant "Did you know roses are edible and used in recipes", candlelit dinner, or wait maybe the most romantic is cooking together alone at home, chocolate! It’s expensive though… Wait I’m king now!)

Lil comic, Laios wakes up snuggled against Marcille’s back then promptly falls off the bed. The noise makes Marcille wake up and she’s like omg are u ok?? Laios is so sweaty and panicked and in denial about her being special to him.  She explains, disgruntled at the memory "Izutsumi is bunking in with Chilchuck again, they’re taking the whole bedrolls." Pause. "Sorry, I should have told you, but you like sleeping with Izutsumi too so I figured…" She looked sheepish. "Between you and Senshi, I much prefer sleeping with you. It feels sort of nostalgic, like a sleepover, no?" He relaxes and gets in the bed again, smiling. "But… We’ve never had a sleepover?" She chuckles "I guess not. I must be getting that impression because of Falin…" And the air between them is warm yet bittersweet now, as she smiles like that and his eyes and smile cloud over. The earlier instinctive reluctance to touch is gone now. She snuggles into his arms and is like "Hug me?" "Okay." And he does, wraps his arms around her and tucks his chin over her head.

Post canon, marcille takes him to a squid restaurant. Cute lighthearted hehe. He sulks "If there are any parasites in this I will ban squid from this kingdom or so help me…"

Short post canon fluff marcille pov about laios gaining weight n becoming chubby. She used to dream of chiseled abs and angular elves, laios in every way, shape and form is so far from the beauty standards she idealized so. And yet… She loves how soft sleeping against him is, how much there’s more of him for her to hug and nuzzle her face in. She loves seeing him and seeing someone strong, who isn’t malnourished or underweight, someone healthy with color in their skin. An healthy appetite. He used to look more like a rectangle, severe and strict, but now he looked rounder, and seeing him smile at her always made her feel like that roundness suited him. She smiled back, and melted thinking about how her boyfriend was the sweetest in the world. ^I still wanna do this one really bad. Sometimes a fic premise comes from nowhere and puts you in a chokehold and you must finish it to obtain catharsis

Short oneshot about laios musing about Marcille’s smile, how important it is to him in subtle ways etc: Ends with Laios being like wait there’s something off (succubus). Then he grabbed her throat. Or smth

Laios seeing her dungeon like "this is so wrong Marcille you can’t run a dungeon for shit" and also "WHAT ARE THESE HORRORS OF MONSTERS NOO THEY CAN’T BE EFFECTIVE LIKE THAT"

Dinner for two: Very warm. Marcille and Laios are meeting up and cooking a dinner just for them both, no one else is there. They’re being so domestic and it’s light. Laios pauses at some point, doing the dishes, saying… I’ve always worried, thinking doing things like these would remind me of my parents.

Laios doesn’t know what to do when he realizes he actually *likes* likes Marcille, so he avoids her. Everyone notices and is disapproving of him.

Her mana acts up and she shares her dream with someone, kinda like with Izutsumi. Listen the premise could be smutty but I think it’d be more fun if they just hanged out n were silly, like the nightmares chapter without the nightmare

Laimar pining but from the view of Chilchuck, his love hatred sensing a storm brewing. The giggling, the looks. Ugh! It reminded him of himself and his wife when they were young and newly dating.

I love Laios and Izu being worsties so. Laios sees izutsumi rubbing her scent on marcille’s clothes and gets possessive. Maybe Golden Kingdom maybe something else I have no clue but Laios being ridiculous and cheek rubbing or something <3

I might want to do an AU where Laios gets into werebeast ring fighting, before canon and the split happens after he deserts the military. So he’s alone, has nothing going for him and stumbles into that sphere and gets werebeast tattoos done. It doesn’t make him happier at all and fighting sucks actually, but it brings money and he likes being a beast and being cheered by a crowd aka illusion of being liked, and money brings food and eating is the privilege of the living etc etc. So then when he goes to check on Falin at the academy it’s a big AU where he has a whole other reputation and look to him, and when he meets izutsumi their relationship is different and aaaaaa… He’s freeer in this au, lets himself be animalistic and weird, even though ofc the arc is him letting himself be more human as well and connecting with humans, through talking and infodumping n shit. Oh I went off but the laimar is because it’s inspired by cool laimar art here (warning tho it’s an art dump with toudencest also 😔) but werewolf Laios laimar AUs… A lotta fun stuff there idk idk

[yourantag]

The Red Means I Love You (Edgar×Reader)

AN: This was supposed to be finished and posted on Valentine's Day. However, as you can see from the word count, that was a fool's errand. I wanted to delve more into yanderes since I find them fascinating in writing, and now, here we are. Staining White Day red, I present to you the most generic title for an Edgar fic you will ever see. (Btw, I apologize to Edgar fans- I might've massacred your boy but I swear I tried my best.) Word count: 4.9k words TW: Blood, violence, murder, yandere themes, and blackmailing. Summary: Accepting the invitation of a dubious letter sounds just about as bad as it actually was. Oletus manor is not a name spoken without notoriety, after all. Was that where it all began? Was this your first mistake? No, it was further down the line, wasn't it? Yes, perhaps it was when you became the muse of an artist with no inspiration.

Reality has disappointed you time and time again. The expectations of a life of peace was crushed easily under the hands of society. So, you fled. You fled inside your head, transporting yourself into worlds of fiction. Romance, mystery, fantasy, and the likes kept you alive. It was the only thing you could really call safe.

Among many genres, you favored one above the others. 

Horror.

There’s a certain comfort that comes from these fictional tales. You know they aren’t real, that the killer can’t find you, that these psychopaths don’t exist. Are there people similar to them? Sure, but they aren’t in your life. Thus, they merely stay as silly little people within a book.

But, it’s not quite enough. The thrill of words upon a page cannot compete with the real deal. While you weren’t stupid enough to seek out murderers or the like, you were still dumb enough for Baron DeRoss, apparently.

The envelope is white as a dove, a blood red stamp sealing it shut. It whispers promises and praise, false hope and rewards. It’s an enticing offer, truly. Would you let it guide you astray?

Well, you were never one to turn away from the call of the abyss.

-

“I really don’t get it. I know it’s game changing, but it’s not helpful for anyone else but me! Why do they want me to team up with them?” You huffed, resting your face on your palms. Edgar merely rolled his eyes, flicking his wrist. Focused on the canvas in front of him, he let the brush streak red through white.

“You said it yourself, your abilities are game changing. We don’t even know the full extent of your abilities– who knows? Maybe you could completely uproot the current meta. Besides,” He smirked, peering at you from the corner of his eye. “The hunters are terrified of you.”

You paused, letting your arms fall flat against the table.

“Scared? Of me? I’m just another survivor– what do they have to be afraid of?”

Edgar hummed, tapping the handle end of his paint brush against his lips. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t quite fancy being stabbed.”

Okay, yeah, that was fair.

Most survivors didn’t possess the ability to fight the hunter, not really, yet here you were. When Jack had first chased you, he had the reckoning of his life. You wince at the phantom feeling of stabbing steel into flesh and bone. That was, admittedly, not what you had expected to be your special skill.

You pouted, cheek against the cool wood of Edgar’s table as you glanced around. His room was an odd combination of an art exhibition hall and an actual bedroom. It was big and extravagant, but you wouldn’t expect any less from him. 

Well, kind of.

Edgar confused you. Intriguing, even among the sea of other unique characters within the manor. You suppose that’s why he’s your favorite comrade and closest friend, if you could call him that. He’s never kicked you out of his room or flat out yelled at you, so safe to say he didn’t hate you, at least. 

He’s neutral on all matters within the manor, composed regardless of what he faced. All he cared about was his art, nothing more and nothing less. Perhaps that was how he was unaffected by everything.

You suppose that’s natural for an artist. You can’t claim to understand it perfectly, but in a way, you truly understood.

“It’s like… you’re a moth drawn to a flame, right? Art is something you’re willing to give your life to, dedicate your whole body and soul to. Even if you have to sacrifice your time, energy, or health, for the perfect outcome, you’d do it.” You had said it off handedly, not thinking much of it then. In some respects, wasn’t his passion for art just like your obsession with thrill?

But then he had grabbed your hands, looking into your eyes with such fervor. His gaze burned, a certain desperation flickering within it. What was he seeking so fiercely? What was making Edgar, apathetic, snide Edgar, act like he had found an oasis in the desert?

“You get it?” He whispered, almost pleading. 

“Maybe,” You responded.

That had been enough for him. 

Since then, you and Edgar had become an odd pair. Not quite friends, but too close to be acquaintances. You gravitated towards him, as he did to you. More often than not, you’d ask him if he’d like to team up for matches. More often than not, he’d say yes.

You suppose that’s another reason why other survivors regard you with care.

Edgar isn’t the most difficult person to work with, but definitely not the easiest. He’s all too much and too little: haughty and snide, distant and cold. He’s a reliable teammate, not a likable one. 

Still, the playful sparkle in his eyes as he led the hunter straight to you made you beg to differ. You’d curse him out as you ran, glaring at him after the match was over, before begrudgingly thanking him for supporting you with a painting or two.

However odd it was, you wouldn’t trade your friendship for the world.

-

There’s a letter in your mailbox. 

That isn’t especially weird, considering that’s what a mailbox is for. Letters, mail, packages, whatever. Still, you can’t help but pause as you stare at it. A white envelope with a lovely red seal, the stamp itself in the shape of a camellia. The embossed flower is outlined in gold, shimmering softly in the low light of your room.

Gently, you pry open the seal, careful not to damage it or the envelope. Once you’ve successfully extracted the letter without destroying everything, you stare at it with uncertainty. 

It seemed like this was a love letter from the presentation alone, yet you couldn’t help but feel a bit unsettled. You couldn’t understand why, however. It was beautiful, but simple. It wasn’t overwhelming, nor alarming. So why, from the depths of your heart, was your subconscious screaming at you to run? As though you were about to open Pandora’s box?

You unfold the letter and read.

-

Edgar gives you the nastiest side eye you’ve ever seen. Perhaps you deserve it after the stunt you pulled. Then again, what else were you supposed to do? He was going to be sent back to the manor if you hadn’t let yourself go down.

In the end, thanks to your sacrifice, the potential tie had turned into a win. Sure, you were the one sent back to the manor instead, but a win was a win! Though, Edgar seemed to disagree.

“You’re an idiot.”

You would be offended if it weren’t for the fact that he was wrapping your wounds. The tender touches were barely there, like the flutter of a butterfly's wings. He was being careful, making sure you didn’t feel even an ounce of unnecessary pain. The concentration he was putting into taking care of you was something you had only seen when Edgar was painting. 

The subtle quirk of his lips, eyes barely narrowed, and relaxed shoulders expressed more to you than any words ever could. The guilt that pooled into his chest, made evident by the quiet sighs he’d let out, seemed to manifest itself as kindness and gentle care.

It made you really want to tease him.

“Ow!” You hiss, flinching slightly away from the man. Edgar freezes, staring at you with concern.

“Shit– sorry, I didn’t mean to.” The sincere remorse in his voice immediately makes you regret your decision.

“Wait, wait, wait, no, I– gah, sorry. I was just messing with you.”

The painter’s formerly soft expression faded into a scowl, a glare sent your way even as he finished wrapping you up. Edgar immediately stands up, leaving you scrambling to do the same as he leaves the infirmary.

“Ahhhh, wait, I’m sorry! Wait, Edgar, I’m sorry, I swear I won’t do that again! C’mon, don’t leave me like this! I–” You trip on something, stumbling as you lose balance. You fully expect to kiss the ground, what with one of your arms in a cast, when lithe arms catch you.

You glance up at Edgar with a sheepish smile, gazing upon the apathetic look upon his face. Apathetic, to anyone else but you. You can see the little curl of his lips, the faint swirl of amusement in his eyes.

He helps you reorient yourself, hands on your shoulders. Once you’re safely standing, Edgar turns and continues down the hallway. His steps are slower than usual. It’s probably the closest you’ll get to an invitation.

You grin, chasing after him once more.

“So does this mean you forgive me?”

“No.”

-

“How do you manage to stay sane, painting the same thing over and over again?” You ask, half dangling off a couch. Edgar’s room is still as grand as ever, but you can see the changes. It seems more lived in, more homey. There’s a table that isn’t covered in paint, brushes, or other art supplies. There’s shelves with books instead of art supplies. Then, those cabinets have, wait for it, something other than art supplies.

It seems like a small shift to others, though that’s probably because they don’t visit Edgar half as often as you do. The first time you saw the couch, you thought you were hallucinating. 

The Edgar Valden, using something other than a stool? Incredible, revolutionary, absolutely groundbreaking.

He did not appreciate your dramatics, or so he claimed, but you knew he was covering his mouth to hide his smile.

“I’m not painting the same thing, and I am, in fact, going insane.” Edgar responds, frown deepening as he mixes a few colors together. You hum, peeking at the canvas as much as you can from your position. From the sketch, you could tell it was a portrait. A rare occurrence, considering Edgar preferred landscapes.

“Why the sudden interest in portraits?” You ask, sitting more comfortably on the couch. Glancing at the shelves, you skim through the books. Edgar wouldn’t mind if you read one of them, right?

The man pauses, his expression almost bashful. It’s so bizarre you can’t help but raise a brow. Edgar has never been afraid to draw attention to himself. He’s no pushover, willing to fight for what he wants while still remaining relatively neutral. To see him like that, a dust of what can only be blush upon his cheeks, twists something in your heart.

Before you can untangle what exactly you were feeling, the painter coughs.

“Well, I tried talking with Victor about expressing oneself. He suggested letters, or other mediums I’m comfortable with. So…” Edgar stares at his canvas, his smile more so a grimace. “I’m trying out his suggestion, I suppose.”

You tilt your head, humming to yourself as you nod. Sliding off the couch, you grab one of the books on Edgar’s shelf. “Well, then I wish you the best of luck.”

His eyes linger on you, closing softly as his expression relaxes. When he opens them again, he starts creating new hues with more focus.

-

“I’ve been getting letters recently.” You mention, flipping another page in your book. Edgar paused, turning to look at you.

“And?”

You closed your eyes, contemplating. This really wasn’t something you had to tell him. But, well, nothing too interesting has been happening lately. The matches have finally grown duller, the thrill fading as you stayed longer. You were running out of things to ramble about, so why not?

“They’re love letters. Nicely decorated, with neat handwriting. If I had to guess, someone born into privilege.” You think Edgar flinches at that.

“It’s really sweet, honestly. A shame they’re anonymous.” You skim over the words on the page, brows knitting themselves tight. The main character was oblivious to the danger so close to them. How frustrating. 

“A shame, really.” Edgar echoes back, delicately brushing shadows along the red camellias. His painting seemed nearly finished, if you only stared at the beautiful flowers. The rest of the canvas was rather barren, a figure still not yet painted whole.

“C’mon, theorize with me! Who could it be? I put my bets on Jack.” You sighed dramatically, head thrown back with your hand on your forehead. 

You received no response, however.

“Hear me out! He called me darling, dear, and tried to kill me. Obviously, he fell for my sick kiting skills and great looks. I rest my case.” Still, nothing.

You were getting really worried with how unresponsive Edgar was being. Usually, when you started overexaggerating like that, he’d make a snarky remark. Something like “please, you get terror shocked at 5 ciphers” or “you make amphibians look appealing.” 

The silence was really getting to you.

“I mean, he’s got confidence in spades so it probably isn’t him. Still, I kinda hope it is, he’s rather attrac–” SNAP!

Your head snaps up from your book, turning to Edgar so quickly you nearly give yourself whiplash. There, in his hands, are the remains of a broken paint brush. Blood oozes from his tightly clenched hands, slowly trickling down his palm and under the cuff of his shirt. That was reason for concern as is, but the most startling thing of all was his eyes.

Blue, like the sky. Blue, like the sea. Blue, like the wings of a morpho butterfly.

Blue, like the swirling vortex of the night sky.

You rush over, grabbing the first aid kit you know he keeps for you, before standing next to him. You’ve never seen him like this, eyes so dark and blank. It’s honestly scaring you a little, but that means nothing when he’s hurt.

So, you kneel, pulling out tweezers, disinfectants, and bandages. Gently prying his hand open, you discard the larger pieces of the brush. With the tweezers, you pick out splinters of wood embedded in his skin. You whisper apologies as you do, knowing this definitely hurts, but he doesn’t so much as flinch.

By the time you finally disinfect his hand and wrap it, Edgar seems a lot more like himself than before. He gazes at you with quiet consideration, blinking slowly. Languid, calm, almost cat-like.

“Are you okay?” You ask, holding his hand. In all the time you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him react like that. The kinder side of you hopes it’ll never happen again, if only so he won’t needlessly hurt himself like that. The morbid side of you wants to see him like that again, what you can distinguish as cold, searing rage threatening to consume him whole.

Edgar leans his head forward and onto your shoulder. The scent of citrus, chamomile, and something chemical tickles your nose, brushing against you as the painter sighs. He seems… tired.

“Let me rest my head, just for a bit.”

You don’t have the heart to say no.

-

The next few letters you get are… odd. Passionate as always, but far more obsessive. The first few had been sweeter, more tender. This was escalating in a weird direction, and as much as you loved yourself a good horror story, romance and horror never mix well. They were starting to threaten you, saying they’d hurt the people around you, and that was where you drew the line.

So, you start ignoring them. It sounds foolish, especially for a connoisseur of all things freaky, but life is more mundane than fiction. If this person doesn’t have the guts to confess to you, does it make sense that they’d have the guts to actually go through with their threats? Logically, no. 

Besides, even if they did, the people of the manor are strong. They can hold their own. Even if they can't, that person will get outcasted for hurting a survivor, regardless of if they’re a hunter. “No violence outside of matches,” that was the first rule both factions set.

So, it was safe to assume you had nothing to worry about. You have more important things to deal with, anyway, especially with a new survivor arriving. His name was Orpheus, a novelist. You were thrilled, especially since he was the author of some of your favorite series.

You were busy with preparations, practically skipping with joy. The other survivors poked fun at you, both for your enthusiasm and the lack of a certain painter at your side.

Edgar was concentrating on his art, as per usual, and you didn’t want to bother him. He seemed a little lonely, though, so you tried to convince a few people to talk to him. They all just looked at you as if you grew another head. 

“Are we… looking at the same person?” Mike asks, smile strained. You frown, turning away from the banners you were fixing. 

“Yes! Edgar Valden, our resident painter, our sassy rich boy, our lovely old friend. I say he is lonely, and I think you should talk to him. I mean, you’re easy-going, fun, and silly. Who wouldn’t like you?” Even if half of it was an act. Still, Mike was one of the people Edgar tolerated better than most. Perhaps it’s because he’s another form of an artist?

“Why can’t you just, I don’t know, talk to him yourself? You guys get along just fine.” Mike looks away, fiddling with his hands. You narrow your eyes at the sight.

Mike Morton, local funny man, someone with dedication and deceit running through his veins, nervous? It’s not faked, the sweat rolling down his neck and the faster breathing all indicating he was genuinely nervous. Maybe even scared.

“Edgar, I really do love him, but he needs more friends. I think the only people who talk to him on a regular basis are Luca and I. Adding a few more people to that list would be nice, so…” You bring your hands in front of you, clasped tight as if you’re about to pray. “Could you please talk to him?”

Mike deflates, sighing as he nods. You smile brightly in response, promising to make it up to him.

-

“Hey bestie! You excited for the new survivor?” Demi croons, grinning as she tosses an arm around your shoulder. You laugh in response, leaning into her.

“That’s about the dumbest thing you could ask me. Of course I am! He’s written so many good books. God, I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around him. He’s made some stories that have basically shaped who I am now!” You sigh, smiling so widely your face hurts.

“Well, don’t forget your boyfriend in all the excitement! I can see he’s basically seething with envy.” 

You pause, turning to look at Demi.

“Who?”

Now, it’s Demi’s turn to look confused.

“Uh, you know, Edgar? Are– are you guys not together?” She asks, genuinely shocked. You feel your face heat up, your hands itching to cover your blush. 

“Wh– no! We are not! Why would anyone ever think that?”

Demi gives you a deadpan expression in response.

“You two are basically glued to each other’s side, go into every match together, hang out almost every day– Hell, you’re the only one Edgar has allowed in his room without it being necessary!” 

Well, that’s news to you.

You furrow your brows, blinking in shock. Sure, you two hung out a lot, but it wasn’t like you guys were friends exclusively with each other. You had Demi, Mike, Melly, and even Violetta while Edgar had Luca, Victor, Andrew, and Galatea. It wasn’t like you… hung out… every… day…

“Oh fuck, we really do look like a couple.” You mutter, having half a mind to smack Demi as she laughs. She’s completely unapologetic about it, struggling to breathe as slowly calms down and giggles.

“So, you two aren’t dating?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows. You huff, fighting back a smile.

“Nope, not at all.”

“Then in that case, I’m allowed to flirt with you as much as I want!” Demi cheers. She spins you around, causing a laugh to bubble up from your throat. The two of your twirl around in a silly dance, the faint sound of Frederick playing the piano the only background music.

At the end, she dips you down, smile upon her lips. She leans close to your ear as your smile is wiped away.

“Be wary of him.”

-

With Edgar, it’s like you’re taking three steps forward, then five steps back. Just when you think you’ve got him all figured out, he throws a curveball at you.

That desperation he had in his eyes the day you became his friend, flickering like a brilliant flame, you understand it now. However much he claimed he didn’t need people to understand him, how he didn’t need to understand others, it didn’t mean much. He still craved it, to be understood. To not have to be questioned, to not be approached with dishonesty, with intentions that lied beyond just him being him.

You suppose that’s exactly why you got along. You wanted to understand him, and he wanted to be understood. A match made in Heaven, you suppose.

It’s why it miffed you a bit that you really can’t understand Edgar at the moment.

He hates drawing portraits, yet he draws a figure, the same exact one, in every one of his new pieces. They look familiar, a lot like you, but you’re pretty confident Edgar would rather die than paint you. You’d tease him to Hell and back, all while he complains and swears up and down he’s never being nice to you again.

The landscapes, adorned in reds of all shades, always have that figure in each one without fail. Is he in love with someone? That would explain why he’s so weird lately.

Edgar’s odd behavior was already messing with you, but on top of that, the letters were getting worse. Instead of being slid into your mailbox, they were flat out in your room now.

Normal people would think someone just slipped it under the door. Reasonable assumption. However, unless that person has not only a very thin arm, but a long one, you don’t know how they’d manage to get it all the way to your desk.

You stare at the white envelope, stamped shut with a red seal in the shape of a camellia. The outline of the flower is in gold, though the beauty of the letter and the seal means nothing. Not when it got into your room. Not when it clearly has a splotch of dark red glaring at you.

Your hands are shaky as you open the envelope, a familiar curl of thrill fighting with your new found protective instincts. The letter is white as a dove, the red tainting it made all the more stark.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you read.

‘I didn’t imagine love would be like this. Wonderfully warm, like the rays of the sun in winter, and unbearably painful, like a knife in my heart. Do you just like hurting me? No, I know that isn’t true. After all, you always look at me with concern when I’m injured. Still, it’s hard to believe you’re this dense.

These past few weeks have been driving me mad. Your attention has been solely on the arrival of the new survivor. You’ve been ignoring me so much I can barely stand it. Can’t you spare even a moment for me? Is that novelist really that important? Seeing you look at him with stars in your eyes… it makes me want to rip his head off his shoulders. He doesn’t deserve your attention, nor your admiration, not like I do. I’ve known you longer, loved you for longer. He doesn’t deserve anything from you, yet he gets everything I could ever want and more.

Did you know? When you’re excited, your smile turns bigger, more genuine, till dimples show. Your eyes crinkle just a little, your hands moving to curl in front of your chest. You stand taller, you shine brighter.

It’s such a beautiful sight, I hate that I have to share it. Sometimes, I wish I could just put you in a cage and never let you go. Then, you wouldn’t look at anyone else but me. You wouldn’t think about anyone else but me. But, that’s not how you should live. You deserve to be free and happy. So, I’ve decided to get rid of anyone that doesn’t deserve to be around you.

I think I’ll start with that novelist.’

Your blood runs cold.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Just who is this? Who are they and just why are they so obsessed with you? Get rid of those who don’t deserve you? Who gave them the right to decide that!?

You take a deep breath, desperately trying to calm your nerves. Your heart is racing, and for the first time, the thrill in your heart turns into true fear.

You’ve never minded being the one hunted. In fact, you practically adore it, the addicting rush of adrenaline pumping through you. It’s why you came to the manor. But your friends? They’re not the same, and you wouldn’t want them to be. You want them safe and happy, not hunted down by some freak who thinks they “aren’t worthy of you” for whatever sick reason.

“Fuck, fuck… Orpheus, I need to find– no, it’s probably too late for him, there’s blood on the letter. Okay, okay, stay calm, stay fucking calm. Who would be the next victim? Mike? Melly? No, it’s probably Ed–” You pause.

Almost comically, everything clicks in place.

Camellias.

Red.

Ignoring them.

Edgar.

You bolt out of your room.

-

Normally, you’d knock. You know Edgar hates it when people barge into his room. However, considering the circumstances, you think that’s the least of your concerns.

You can’t help but pray in your mind. To whom? You don’t know. You don’t think anyone can truly help in this situation. It couldn’t be anyone else but Edgar, but still, you prayed. You hoped against all hope that your conclusion was wrong. 

Edgar would scold you for barging in, sigh, before smiling and asking if you were really that desperate to see him. Everything would be fine. It would all be just a cruel joke.

But just as life is more mundane than fantasy, reality is far cruller than fiction.

The large windows to Edgar’s room let in the light of the falling sun, casting the room in many shades of gold and orange. In the middle of the room, in all his glory, is Edgar. His back is to you, paint brush in hand. You’re hit first by relief, then with the heavy scent of iron.

You shake, hands covering your mouth as you finally process what's around Edgar. Orpheus, drained of blood, head sat on a chair, body left haphazardly on the ground. Jack, ghastly white and face twisted, his horror eternally memorialized in death. Demi, eyes closed and serene, seemingly asleep if not for the purple veins that roam along her arms.

You fall to your knees, the shock hitting you so strong you can’t stand up any longer. He was your secret admirer. The one who kept sending letters. The one who went into your room just to place them on your desk. The one who threatened to kill your friends. The one who did kill your friends.

Edgar, finally, turns around. His cheek has splotches of blood on it, his hands no better. It’s startling just how much of it is on him, but worse yet, you know not all of it is on him. There’s a lot of blood in a human body, much more in two, so where was it?

When he smiles, it’s just as sweet as it was yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Was this really your friend, or a demon in disguise?

His smile, ever so sweet, only serves to unsettles you, looking more like a nightmare.

“Ah, you’re here! Come, I need to show you my newest masterpiece.” Edgar steps closer to you, dragging you by the hand to a canvas you hadn’t noticed before. He was standing in front of it, so it was only natural.

You numbly follow, heart in your throat. You’re grateful, distantly, that the “masterpiece” is not the corpses of your friends. You think you’re going to throw up, eyes trying to look at anything but them.

So, you gladly look at his so-called masterpiece.

You really wish you didn’t.

There, on the canvas, is a portrait. This time, it’s so painfully obvious it’s you that you can’t even deny it. Surrounded by red camellias, hands curled in front of their chest, with a smile so genuine, dimples showed. Eyes crinkled, back straight, and God, did it have to be so accurate?

The red of the camellias are familiar, as is the red of your blush, the colors of your clothes, your hair. 

It’s all been painted using your friend’s blood.

Edgar comes behind you, his arms circling your waist. A content sigh leaves him, his chin resting on your shoulder. His hold is gentle, but firm, possessive in a way you never thought him capable of. His lips brush against your neck, a kiss much like a collar pressed into your skin. You can feel them curl into a smile.

“What do you think, my muse? The red means I love you.”

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 6 - The Night to Remember

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 5k words

Feat. Mina of TWICE

Chapter 6 - The Night to Remember

 You are my son, you are taking over my company, and you will do as I say!

           Mingyu closed his book, clicking his tongue in annoyance at that sentence continuing to clog up his head. He hadn’t spoken to his father in the past few days, since their heated argument. He ignored every call that came through, not wanting to deal with his father’s ridiculous request. He had more pressing matters to focus on. As he saw you order your smoothie up ahead, Hoshi practically hanging off your shoulder as he tried to decide his order, a deep hum escaped his throat.

           Why is she being weird? Did I do something wrong? He thought to himself. He crossed his arms, which tightened up the sleeves of his shirt. I hope after dinner we can go back to normal. Just the thought of your sad face made Mingyu’s heart hurt a bit.

           As Mingyu was trying to reorganize all of the thoughts in his brain, two people sat on either side of him. When he looked to his sides, Joshua and Jeonghan were there. Mingyu frowned, unamused.

           “What?” he asked.

           “Woah, what’s with the third degree?” Jeonghan asked, frowning.

           “We just wanted to see what was bothering you,” Joshua asked.

           “Nothing is bothering me,” Mingyu said. “Mind your business.” He felt the stare that they shared across him, and he huffed.  

           “Wow, they are perfect together, huh?” Jeonghan asked.

           “Almost as if we’re talking to her right now.” Joshua agreed. Mingyu frowned.

           “You guys can’t just leave her out of your mouth, huh?” he asked.

           “We only want to help her,” Jeonghan said.

           “With?” Mingyu asked. The men leaned back on the bench, shrugging without giving a real reply. Mingyu sighed. “Well, I don’t think she needs your help.”

           “Oh, she does,” Joshua said.

           “I can help her with whatever you think she needs help with.”

           “Can you?” Jeonghan asked, eyes widened. “Is that why you’re going on a date?”

           “It’s not a d-.”

           “It’s absolutely a date.” They both said. Mingyu felt his cheeks go pink, his heart sped up just a bit. “Does she know it’s a date?”

           “I have no idea,” Mingyu said. “I had to work at it just to convince her to go to a nice place instead of where we usually eat. I think she’s upset with me.”

           “Why would she be?” Jeonghan asked, looking at Joshua from over Mingyu’s shoulder. They were very curious to hear his reasoning.

           “I don’t know. I thought it was that rumor that happened when I went on my trip, but it doesn’t seem she’s gotten over it.”

           “…Is it a rumor?” Joshua asked. He blinked, unsure why that question left his lips. Sure, he was curious, but he felt like he should have been a bit more subtle about it. Especially when Jeonghan looked almost as shocked as Mingyu did. Mingyu’s eyes narrowed, but Joshua remained calm as Mingyu held up his hand, showing a ringless ring finger.

           “Yes. Just a rumor.” He said simply. “But I guess something else bothered her. I can’t make out what it is, and I don’t think she’ll tell me.” Jeonghan and Joshua wondered if he was seriously oblivious, or being vague due to lack of trust between the three. However, they decided not to press into that part too much. “I want Saturday to go well.”   

           “We can help you there!” Jeonghan said. Now, Joshua was the one to look just as shocked at Mingyu, both looking at the black-haired angel. “We see her all the time. We would love to make sure you have everything you need to make sure that you both have the best date ever.”          

           “It’s not a.” Mingyu stopped himself from repeating what he already knew would be ignored and sighed. “Why should I trust you? Every time I see you, you’re both arguing over her.”

           Now, both Joshua and Jeonghan were silent. “…You got us there,” Joshua said.

           “Yeeea.” Mingyu shook his head, wondering how these two seemingly perfect individuals were so…what was the word? Ridiculous?

           “She really does have the patience of a saint.” He muttered to himself. He looked between the two of them again.

           Try trusting them.

           “What exactly do you have in mind?” He asked curiously, looking at Jeonghan.

           “Aaaah, we’ve convinced you.” Jeonghan leaned back in his seat nodding his head. “What do you think she’s going to wear?”

           “Well, I-.”

           “Wrong!” Jeonghan said immediately. Mingyu flinched at the sudden shout in his direction, however gentle the voice carrying it was. “If this is your first date like you say, how would you know? You don’t. We will know.”

           “…How?” Mingyu asked. Jeonghan smiled.

           “You have to trust us.” Mingyu looked over at Joshua, who nodded in agreement.

           “We have no reason to steer you wrong.” He said simply. “For her sake, at least.” Mingyu felt a bit more at ease with Joshua’s comment tacked on, and he sighed.

           “Fine, I guess. Even though I am still horribly confused.” Before anyone could continue speaking, the group made their way back over, smoothie in hand. Hoshi handed an extra off to Mingyu, who thanked him. When they saw Joshua and Jeonghan there, you frowned.

           “When did you guys get here? We didn’t get you anything.”

           Joshua and Jeonghan stood up, approaching you as you sipped your drink. You looked between them, confused as you were taken by the arms. “Hey!” You frowned, trying to pull the drink to your lips again.

           “Let’s go. We need to talk.” Jeonghan said.

           “What?” You looked at Joshua, who only nodded in agreement before you were reluctantly led off down the dirt path. Mingyu leaned forward but stopped himself as you three continued to walk off. He sighed.

           “You would never think that two people that handsome would be so weird,” Minnie said.

           “Seriously,” Seungkwan said, sipping his drink. Hoshi set his drink on his lap.

           “I’ve seen it happen before.” He admitted. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged. “I don’t talk to him anymore.”

           “Oh, you’re boyfriend?” Seungkwan grinned as Hoshi shoved him.

           Meanwhile, you continued walking along with the boys down the path. “What are we talking about?” you asked. Joshua and Jeonghan looked at one another.

           “Yeah, what are we going to talk about?” Joshua asked.

           Jeonghan paused a minute, then shrugged. “I have no idea….” He admitted.

           You and Joshua looked at one another in confusion as Jeonghan let out an amused laugh.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Saturday felt like it was so far away, but when Minnie showed up to your house early that exact morning with breakfast in her hand, you realized it was much closer than you thought. Joshua and Jeonghan were nowhere to be found when you woke up that morning. It seemed they most likely didn’t stay in the house as you slept, which was fine. Throwing on a quick outfit, you and Minnie headed down the street towards the mall.

           “I still cannot believe you turned down Mingyu’s credit card,” Minnie said.

           “Just drop it,” you begged. “I can find something nice that I can afford.”

           “Yeah, but-.” Minnie motioned to the large and extravagant boutique named Twenty-Eight Zero Six that you both were passing on your walk. “I wanted to walk in there and look like we were important.” You laughed a bit. “Imagine all of the workers showering us in name-brand clothes that models and celebrities are wearing!”

           “Sorry.” Was the only thing you could think to say in response. “I’ll buy us lunch if you drop it.”  

           Minnie pouted, nodding her head. “Fine, then.” When she grinned, you felt a bit more relaxed. “Regardless, we are going to make you look so hot for tonight.”

           “Oh, please.” You groaned, and Minnie led you into the first store.

           Meanwhile, nearby, two figures slip into the store right behind you.

           “I don’t think we should be spying.”

           “Relax. We’re just getting some intel.”

           “Why can’t we just ask her?”

           “Joshua, do you think they want us joining them on their girl’s day?” When Joshua shook his head, Jeonghan nodded. “Exactly. For this date to go well, we need to know everything we can and tell Mingyu. Not only will he be able to provide them with the best date possible, ensuring our success and re-entry into heaven, but he’ll also trust us a bit more, which also ensures our re-entry into heaven. It’s a win-win situation.”

           “But I thought you liked teasing him,” Joshua said simply. Jeonghan laughed.

           “I never said we were going to stop.” He clarified. Joshua shook his head before looking back over at you. He watched you and Minnie start scanning the racks of dresses nearby, pulling a few out and pressing them to your body for a quick mental image. “So, what information do we get by spying on them?” he finally asked.

           “Well…” Jeonghan hummed. “If we know what she buys, then we can tell him how to best match her.”

           Joshua felt a few more questions in his head as he watched Jeonghan step a bit closer, hiding behind a few racks of coats. He had a strong feeling Jeonghan was just winging it at the moment. Joshua stayed in his spot, shaking his head as he watched Minnie fill your arms with dresses. He saw you stumble a bit as you held the beautifully designed outfits and stepped forward a bit. However, he stopped himself just as you regained your footing. Both you and Minnie seemed to giggle a bit, before disappearing down an aisle.

           For a second, Joshua had to remind himself what his goal was to do on earth.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           You had tried on several dresses, yet none felt…right. They felt either way too fancy, or not fancy enough. As you stepped out in a sleek black number, rubbing your hands along the velvet sleeves, you looked at Minnie. “Did you find the name of this new place online?”

           “No luck. Their socials must not be fully up and running yet. Weird.”

           “I guess when you have good connections to the rich you only need word of mouth.” You mumbled, turning to yourself in the mirror. “What do you think of this?” When Minnie looked up at you, she shrugged.

           “Eh. It’s ok. It looks like you’re trying too hard.”             

           “You’re the one who says I need to try harder.”

           “Not that hard.” She stood up from the chair. “I saw a few other dresses back there. I’ll go find some more. Try on that pretty red one.” As Minnie disappeared into the store, you closed the changing room door. You pulled it off the hanger, a strikingly deep red dress, with a shorter dress hem that it had compared to others you had tried on. “I feel like I’ll look ridiculous in this one.” You muttered to yourself, before reluctantly trying it on anyway.

           After looking yourself over in the mirror, you tried to imagine yourself wearing this dress to a fancy restaurant. Being seated below high-vaulted ceilings and chandeliers. Drinking wine as deep as the dress color. How would you do your hair? Makeup? What kind of accessories would match this? You felt so out of your element and you weren’t even at the restaurant yet. Looking down at your hands, you rubbed them together. Let’s try this. You mumbled to yourself. Lifting your hands, you snapped both of your fingers.

           Deeper in the store, Jeonghan and Joshua felt their eyes twitch, practically lighting up. They shot a glance at one another, dropping the magazines they had now been using to hide their faces as they sat on one of the benches. They had stopped following when you mentioned heading towards the dressing room and only looked up for a brief second to see Minnie restart her hunt through the aisles. They shared a look, setting their magazines down and heading over to meet you.

           When they approached the fitting rooms, they saw your shoes poking out of the dressing room, the only one that was full. Jeonghan and Joshua shared one more look, trying to decide what to do to get your attention in an…appropriate manner. Jeonghan simply stepped back and called your name.

           “Are you okay?” he asked. You took a second to respond by opening the door and stepping out in your current attempt at trying to find a dress. The minute the men saw you, their eyes widened in shock. You smoothed out the skirt which clung tightly to you, and fixed the sleeves that puffed out just around the upper arms to the elbow, before smoothing to a tight grip around your waist. It was slightly more low cut than what they normally see you in, showing that there was a need for a necklace. You seemed to notice their stunned silence, because you immediately got flustered, shifting in your seat.

           “You don’t like it?” you asked.

           “We didn’t say that,” Jeonghan said. He looked over at Joshua and immediately noticed that his friend was stunned to silence. “You look nice.” He nudged Joshua, finally bringing him back. “Right?”

           Joshua immediately nodded his head. “Yes. Of course.” He said quickly.

           “I need you guys to do me a favor.” You said. You saw the duo seem excited to actually be asked to do something this time, and that excitement made you a bit happy. “Can you go to the restaurant and get an idea of how fancy it is? I don’t want to feel too underdressed.” You pulled out your phone, showing them the few pictures and the name that Mingyu had sent you the night before. “It’s an Italian place in Ilsan.”

           “Aaah. Okay.” Jeonghan said. “We’ll go look.” He said.

“Okay. I need to know before tonight, alright? Now, go before Minnie comes back. I really don’t want to come up with a reason you’re here.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Fine, fine. Alright.” He looked at Joshua, who was still staring directly at you as you fixed your sleeves once again. You had now turned to look at yourself in the nearby mirror, trying to play with your hair to visualize how you might want it styled. As you stood upright, you held your hands in front of you, balled into a little fist.

“What are you doing?” Jeonghan asked.

“Seeing if I would look frumpy with flowers in my hands.” Your arms moved around slightly in front of you as you visualized what a bouquet might look like in front of the dress. “Since the dress is so short, I’m worried a big bouquet will look a bit ridiculous. You know?”

“Makes sense.” Jeonghan nodded.

“You think he will bring you flowers?” Joshua asked.

“I hope so.” you smiled. “I think flowers are romantic.” Joshua and Jeonghan made sure to make a mental note of that before you asked one final question: “You like this one?”

Joshua scanned you over one last time, and something in his chest beat just a second too quickly. He felt his ears go hot, and he quickly rubbed them a bit in hopes that would cool them down. “Yes.” He said.

When you smiled, his ears only got hotter. “Thank you for your help.” Before turning back to the mirror.

           Jeonghan nudged Jeonghan, motioning outside. “Oh.” Joshua shook his head. “Right.” He followed behind Jeonghan as they headed to the front of the store. He smiled a bit, before looking yourself over in the dress one last time. A few minutes later, Minnie came back and was practically screaming about how amazing you looked.

           Outside, Jeonghan turned to Joshua. “What was that?”

           “What was what?” Joshua asked.

           “THAT!” Jeonghan shouted, pointing to the door of the store. Joshua shrugged.

           “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said. He simply walked down the road, swinging his arms a bit as if nothing had happened. Jeonghan blinked, looking over as Joshua turned around, hands behind his back. “You coming? Or am I going alone?” He asked. A groan left Jeonghan’s lips as he followed after Joshua, the duo immediately making their way down the road.

They needed to be back quickly. And their lack of flight was only felt in moments like these.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           “I think the dress you picked is perfect,” Minnie assured. You sighed, the sensation of a brush running along your hair. You shifted nervously. “It’s just the right mix of formal and cute. The important thing is that Mingyu thinks you look cute.”

           “I guess so,” you said. You close your eyes, taking a minute to enjoy the sensation of your hair being brushed. The brush pressed into your scalp and pulled down, sending a tingling and comforting sensation through your head and neck. The door opened, causing both you and Minnie to look over. Joshua and Jeonghan strolled in casually, chatting to themselves as they did so.

           “Do they have a key?” Minnie whispered to you, leaning down to make sure they did not hear. “Mingyu doesn’t even have a key.”

           “I left the door unlocked.” That was all you could respond to.

           “We won’t be long,” Jeonghan said. When he saw you look confused, Jeonghan smiled. “Mingyu said he was getting ready at Seungkwan and Hoshi’s apartment.”

           “They asked us to join,” Joshua added. Your smile only widened at the idea.

           “Really? I’m happy to hear that.”

           “The restaurant you’re going to is nice. I think what you picked-.” Jeonghan motioned to the red dress hanging up on the bathroom door. “Will work just fine.”

           “Okay.” You seemed relieved at the news. “I would be so embarrassed to be underdressed.”

           “If you just let Mingyu pay we could have completely avoided that by going to a nicer boutique.” You ignored Minnie’s comment as she finished with your hair, pulling and tugging it in different directions. “What do you two think?” Joshua and Jeonghan looked up, watching as Minnie pulled your hair up into a curly updo. “Up.” She dropped it down, allowing your hair to fall loosely around your face. “Down.”

           Jeonghan and Joshua walked over, seeing your cheeks tint pink as they leaned close to examine you. Jeonghan reached out and tugged your hair up. He and Joshua muttered to one another before Joshua reached out and took hold of a few small strands, letting those strands fall in a frame around your face. The feeling of their fingers brushing along your cheeks and head made you feel a bit flustered, and you looked down at your lap.

“Don’t fall in love with us, now,” Jeonghan said, seemingly catching your feeling of embarrassment. Joshua laughed a bit as your eyes snapped back up at the grinning angel. “There.”  They leaned back a bit, and Minnie took a look as well. When her eyes sparkled, you felt a bit embarrassed.

“How on earth did you two decide to major in law or all things?” Minnie asked. As you felt your hair fall loose once again, you saw Jeonghan and Joshua look directly at you, amused smiles on their faces.

           “Yeah,” Joshua said. “How did we?” You grabbed the nearest thing – a pillow – throwing it at them as they hurried away in amused and playful laughter.

           “Get out of here! I need to finish getting ready.” You shouted. The men shouted their goodbyes to Minnie before hurrying out of the apartment and closing the door behind them. You sighed, crossing your arms. “They’re a handful.”

           “But they’re nice.” Minnie made sure to add. You nodded. “They seem like good people.”

           “Yeah. They are good people.” You repeated, smiling at the thought. You had only known them for about a week, but you have found yourself warming up to them much quicker than you had originally thought. The craziness of the situation felt normal now. You couldn’t imagine the duo not being around.

           “And they’re cute,” Minnie added. “I mean they look like two angels straight from heaven.” The laugh you emanated was a bit more…forced than it was before.  

           “Right.” You muttered out. A moment of silence rang through the room before you finally said: “I hope this goes well.”

           “It will,” Minnie assured.

           “I’m worried it’ll be awkward.”

           “Has it felt awkward?” she asked.

           “Mmm…” you took a moment to think about your interactions the past few days. “Yes and no.” You stated. “I feel like it’s been pretty normal. But whenever he tries to do nice things for me…I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

           “Like the credit card thing?” You nodded. “I had to admit I was shocked when he didn’t bring you anything from Japan this time.”

           “I know. But I already decided I can’t be upset. I didn’t ask for anything, he didn’t say he would get me anything. It’s alright. He’s already been very good to me.” You smiled sadly as you pressed your fingers together. “But still, I can’t help but feel my heart hurt when I think about it.”

           “That’s normal,” Minnie said. “Maybe he’ll be so stunned by your look tonight that he’ll buy you whatever you want afterward.” You laughed a bit, shaking your head. “Mingyu’s crazy about you; friend, girlfriend, whatever. He doesn’t treat us the same way he treats you. So, I don’t know what you did, but it worked.”

           You smiled softly. “I don’t know if I’d say all that.” You admitted. Minnie sighed a bit. “But thanks.”

           “Sure.” Minnie smiled. “Now-.” She patted your shoulders. “Let’s get you in that dress. I’ll go grab the necklace.” You watched as Minnie hurried to the bags you had settled on the chair. As you rose from your spot, you headed towards the bathroom, grabbing your dress and closing the door to get ready.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           “Aaaah, Mingyu-Hyung! Come out and let us seeee.” Seungkwan begged from his spot on the couch. Hoshi sat beside him, typing away on his phone. Joshua and Jeonghan, who had just arrived, stood behind the couch and watched.

           “Alright!” Mingyu called. When he stepped out, closing the bathroom door behind him, Hoshi and Seungkwan gasped in dramatic surprise.

           “AAAAAA, Hyung! You look amazing!” Seungkwan gasped, rising from his spot.

           “Yeah, I’m jealous.” Hoshi grinned. Mingyu chuckled, fixing the jacket of his suit. He glanced himself over in the mirror once, before looking back at his friends. They were throwing compliments like they were tennis balls, each one bouncing off Mingyu as he grew increasingly flustered. Joshua watched his cheeks turn an embarrassed pink. Joshua saw Jeonghan was offering a thumbs up to Mingyu as he continued to make sure every part of his outfit was perfect. He took the focus on Mingyu to think back to you in the store, scanning over your hair and smoothing out the different parts of the dress that clung to your body. He looked over to Mingyu’s belongings on the table. He eyed up some flowers that sat on top of it all, a stunning and most likely expensive bouquet of roses just as deep a red as your outfit.

           When he looked back, he saw Mingyu approaching the group. Seungkwan and Hoshi looked him over, continuing to gush.       

           “She’s going to fall over. I can see it now.” Mingyu watched as Seungkwan pushed Hoshi to a clearer space, before dramatically falling to his knees and taking Hoshi’s hand. “Oppa! You’re so handsome, my gosh! Please let’s get married now!” The high-pitched voice made Mingyu snort.

           Hoshi, not one to ever give up on the bit, gripped Seungkwan’s hand. He dropped his vocal tone to a dramatic low: “My love, we shall run away together and be married in the morning!”

           “Oh my God.” Mingyu groaned, unable to contain his amused laughter as his friends continued to reenact a very dramatic scene. “This might be the worst drama scene I’ve ever witnessed.” In hopes of avoiding any more of the embarrassing performance, he looked over at Joshua and Jeonghan, both of whom were also amused by their antics. “Are you sure this will match?” he asked, motioning to his tie. “It was the closest to ‘deep red’ I could get so last minute.”

           “Perfectly,” Jeonghan assured.

           Joshua paused a second, watching as Mingyu nodded and smoothed out the tie. He finally said: “Comment on her hair specifically.” Mingyu blinked, slightly confused by the request. “She seemed the most concerned with how to style it with the outfit. I think she’ll appreciate that.”

           Mingyu nodded. “Okay. Got it.” he pulled his wrist to get a good look at his watch. “Okay, I should get going." He said. He turned to his friends, fixing his suit jacket once again.

           “Fighting, Mingyu!” Hoshi cheered, pumping his fists. Mingyu nodded, balling his fists up in determination.

           “Fighting.” He said. He looked at Joshua and Jeonghan, both of whom offered thumbs up of support as well.

           “Fighting.” They also said. Mingyu smiled, the mere idea that in a matter of minutes, he’d have you in his car driving to the best restaurant on this side of the country. You’d be on his arm for the entire world to see. He wanted to show you off as he grabbed his belongings and headed out the door. When it closed behind them, Seungkwan and Hoshi plopped themselves down on the couch.

           “Want to order dinner?” Hoshi asked. The duo nodded, before looking up at the angels standing behind them.

           “Hm?” Jeonghan muttered. “Aaaah, no. We have to go, too.”

           “Wha- you do? Where?” Hoshi asked, now fully turned towards the duo. Joshua and Jeonghan were hoping to catch a peek at the both of you starting your date, gathering information on how it goes to better help set anything up in the future.

           “Home,” Joshua said simply. “We have some homework to get done for next week.”

           “On Saturday night?” Seungkwan asked, frowning. “Wow. Handsome and studious. No wonder they’re so popular.” Joshua and Jeonghan chuckled. “Next time?”

           “Absolutely,” Jeonghan said. They wasted no time saying their goodbyes before heading out the door, hurrying down the stairs and onto the streets of Seoul.

“That compliment on her hair was kind of genius,” Jeonghan said, making Joshua look over. He shrugged their pace finally slowing to a brisk walk down the street.

“I just want it to go well.” He said.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           “Spin for me! Spin for me!” Minnie squealed. You laughed, doing as she requested and allowing for her to see an entire view of you. She shouted. “Oh, he’s going to be asking for your hand in marriage after this!”

           “Oh, stop.” You laughed, though you felt a bit giddy when she said that. You looked down at the dark black pumps that you had fished out of your closet from a year or so prior, ones that hurt your toes but God damn it did they bump your height up just enough to be tolerable. You looked at the clock. “He should be here soon.” Minnie hurried over, making sure to check that your hair was perfect and your accessories laid just so.

           “Those two picked right with your hair. The strands frame your face so nicely.” Minnie’s compliment made you smile. “But I’m sure that means nothing to me. When Mingyu says it-.” You laughed a bit. “Okay, okay. You look perfect. Do you have your bag?”

           “Oh, uh-.” You grabbed your bag, a small, maroon clutch that you bought just for this outfit. It had a bit of silver décor that matched well with your silver jewelry. “Ready.”

           “I hope you have so much fun!” Minnie clapped her hands together. “I’m going to stay right here so you can tell me everything when you get back. No arguments.” You laughed a bit.

           “Okay, then.” You said. You were still admiring yourself in the mirror, unable to look away. The idea of this date – you hoped Mingyu considered it a date too - being the pinnacle of setting your relationship on a new path made you feel on top of the world. Nothing could ruin this night. You couldn’t let it.

           It was then that you heard the knock.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           Mingyu was pulling up to the apartments, parking in his usual spot in the resident parking lot. Turning off his car, he got out of his spot to notice another nice car parked on the other side of the lot. Cocking an eyebrow, he took a second to catch a glimpse of who was inside. He did not see anyone, simply shrugging his shoulders. He had more important things to worry about as he headed into the door of your apartment building and towards the elevator

           Click. Click. Click. Each floor the elevator ascended made Mingyu shift nervously in his place. It was never-ending. To keep himself focused and sane, Mingyu fixed his tie and made sure every part of his outfit was smoothed out just right. The flowers were clutched in his hand, and the visual of them shaking a bit was the only way he could tell he was shaking. Relax, Mingyu. This is just like anything else. Don’t make it weird. His pep talks to himself continued as the elevator jolted to a stop. With a deep, confident breath, he waited for the doors to open before him.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           “Coming!” You called. Hurrying over to the door, you felt a grin plaster on your face. Looking at Minnie, you smoothed out your dress one last time, and Minnie brushed a few rebellious hairs down onto your scalp once again. “Okay.” With a deep breath, you opened the door. “Hey-.” Your smile immediately dropped.

           Before you stood a stunning woman. She had long, curly black hair that dropped to her shoulder blades. Her skin was a porcelain white, colored meticulously by a few beautiful shades of beige and cream makeup. The only things that you caught on her face were a few scattered moles, one under her lip, and one on the side of her nose. It only added to her beauty. She rubbed her hand along the side of her tight black pants and fixed the sleeve of her lavender blouse. When she finally caught your eyes, your breath hitched at her stunningly captivating eyes.

           When she uttered your name, almost as if she was asking herself a question, you could only nod. Her smile only widened as she stuck her hand in your direction. “Nice to meet you. I’m Mina Myoui. I’ve heard so much about you.” 

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[gloamses]

fourth wing script doctor

these books are so weird. they’re so weird that I keep chewing over what makes them bizarre. because my damage is that I always WANT to like stuff. sexy dragonrider fantasy sounds fun and I want to have fun. but I can’t have fun when there’s nothing going on behind the eyes. there is so much plot; and yet they’re not… ABOUT anything. there is so much plot, and no point. they’re written as if the author desperately WANTS you to think that they’re about something, that all this is happening for a reason, that she has some message she wants to deliver or theme she wants to explore, but that clearly isn’t the case.

I don’t think any piece of media necessarily HAS to have a message or some profound observation about the human experience or whatever. I accept & embrace that some things are just fluff. but even the fluffiest thing in the entire world still needs themes, which lend cohesion and purpose to storylines and character arcs. fourth wing has no themes. there are a lot of things that perhaps one COULD argue is a theme. and somewhere in these things are the bones of a good story maybe.

the most obvious one is a theme of, I guess, propaganda, and nationalism, and the construction of narrative especially as undertaken by violent jingoistic military powers, and who gets to construct those narratives and who benefits/suffers, and questioning what you know. that COULD be a good unifying theme for a book like this, except that the main character never goes through an arc of questioning things. she doesn’t do much of using her alleged book smarts to notice when things don’t add up, putting the pieces together, figuring out the truth, etc. epiphanies happen at her. she chances into plot developments through no merit of her own. when she discovers truths, she seamlessly shifts her mindset as if deprogramming from nationalism is as easy as flicking a switch. this is even an enemies-to-lovers romance: one could imagine a better, smarter story having violet & xaden start off contentious and adversarial, but then get to know each other a little better and realize that neither of them actually wish harm on the other, and then have a moment of “hey we both just assumed the worst of each other because of who our parents were. that’s kind of messed up” and then that could build into the larger thematic arc, wherein maybe violet says something uncharitable about the enemy nation, and thinks “wait a minute that kind of sounds like what I or other people said about xaden, and they were wrong. why DO I hate poromiel. I’ve just been uncritically accepting what everyone says poromiel is like, and hating them because I’ve been told to. what if we’re wrong about them too” and then goes and researches the history of the conflict, because she is supposedly keen on history and academia, and realizes that things aren’t adding up, that information seems to be missing, or is dissatisfied with the answers she finds. but none of that happens. xaden doesn’t wish harm on violet - but it’s not because she’s an innocent woman who shouldn’t be held responsible for her mother’s atrocities, it’s because he had already agreed not to harm her, and also he wants to have sex with her instead. and I guess if those things were not the case, he actually would have just killed her. and violet finds out about, eg, the resistance, not because she goes through character development and starts questioning the propaganda she’s been fed her whole life, but because both the empire and the resistance are too incompetent to keep their secrets hidden.

somewhat related, one COULD also argue that there is an overarching theme of human disposability. lots of people die at the war college. lots of young people kill and die senselessly. they die in training, they die to dragons, they die to each other, and this is not only accepted but tacitly encouraged to Weed Out The Weak. the main character is unqualified and unprepared to go to military school, but she goes because her mother forces her to, even though everyone takes this to mean she is being sent to her death. once there, she bonds to a juvenile dragon, who is essentially defenseless in combat but DOES have uniquely powerful magic because that is a property of baby dragons I guess. and the government is hoarding resources and refusing to call a truce and ally with their neighboring country, despite the existence of a larger threat; they’re willing to let the people over the border die en masse. so there could be a notion here that you can offer your life for your country as enthusiastically as you want, but at the end of the day you are a drop in the bucket, meat for the grinder, a pawn on a board, and the imperial system will never care for you in return. but no, this doesn’t work as a theme either, as is, because andarna is an unprecedented fringe case. juvenile dragons aren’t supposed to bond, and aren’t supposed to fight, and their incredible powers are just useless I guess, and they are jealously protected by other dragons. and everyone agrees that violet really shouldn’t be in war school either; about which they are correct. everyone is rightly shocked and appalled that violet, a physically unfit and disabled woman, is there. there’s no sense that people are throwing up their hands and going “lol welp someone’s gotta be the cannon fodder,” which they might do, if this were the theme. likewise, if this were the theme, juvenile dragons could be encouraged or even forced to bond, so that their huge weird powers could be utilized by the military even if it risks their lives. and then violet could be shocked at the inhumanity of this, perhaps also connect it to the ways that the children of rebels were punished after the last insurrection, and this too could lead her to question everything she knows.

there could be a theme about physical limitations, underestimating people based on appearance, and proving others’ assumptions wrong through success? okay, first of all, why should I root for the main character to succeed in evil imperial dragonriding school. even she doesn’t want to be there, so why would I want her to be there, barring the fact that dragons are rad and badass. but most importantly, violet and andarna AREN’T being underestimated. they really shouldn’t be there. like not to be ableist but I feel like untreated joint hypermobility disorders, and also a complete lack of any physical/combat training whatsoever, are reasonable disqualifying factors for military combat positions. violet and andarna DO need to be protected. violet specifically needs to be protected and accommodated and also remedially trained by her peers, pulling their time and focus from their own life-or-death situations. she doesn’t even really disprove people’s expectations meaningfully: she just cheats. she cheats to gain “success” in wildly improbable ways that clearly won’t serve her in the actual scenarios she’s meant to be training for. it doesn’t make her look clever, like she thinks outside the box to come up with her own clever solutions - it makes her look like she can’t adapt and is just prolonging the inevitable. and either way, if this was ever supposed to be a theme in the first book, it’s basically irrelevant by the second. all her mental real estate in iron flame is taken up by her badgering her boyfriend for rebel secrets that the rebel faction has no reason to trust her with. she’s now a competent fighter and rider. her disability is pretty much completely forgotten. if this were the theme, violet could perhaps genuinely want to go to dragonriding school. she could perhaps still be disabled, but in some way that she’s already managing, in preparation for dragonriding school. she could perhaps be a capable fighter, but physically petite such that people underestimate her, and also such that she needs to fight or train in unconventional ways, eg being more suited to speed and agility than brute strength. or, with or without the disability, she could be conscripted; with the expectation that she and others will in fact be cannon fodder, but she succeeds against all odds. in alanna fashion, this arc need not be drawn out throughout the entire series, but it could have at least been a decent unifying idea for book 1.

one could perhaps say that there is a theme of family. family ties, family expectations, legacy, etc. violet is forced into dragonriding school by her mother, despite the objections of her sister; and despite the fact that their older brother was killed in service not too long before. brennan, the dead brother, haunts the narrative for much of the first book. furthermore the “marked ones”, the children of rebels, are both condemned and saved by the actions of their parents. furthermore andarna isn’t tairn’s offspring, she’s effectively an orphan due to abandonment (iirc anyway, idk this twist tested my focus), but they clearly have a father/daughter relationship. all the same, she was able to bond so young because of her lack of parental supervision, I guess. so ok this might be something: basically everybody, every major character, is here because of the actions of their parents. but no, that doesn’t work either, because violet’s mom is absent almost all the time and violet barely thinks about her when she’s not around. towards the end of book 1, violet’s internal monologue has a line like “this whole time I’ve been trying to prove I’m nothing like my mother” and it’s like what? where?? when? you haven’t been thinking about your mother a whole lot. I mean clearly you have a rocky relationship, but I guess you didn’t want to distance yourself that much, since you stayed in the military despite being presented with escape routes, and despite being upset at the discovery that serving in a war might involve killing people sometimes. spoiler alert, her brother is also alive, it turns out, but it really doesn’t matter, he doesn’t really affect or change anything in any meaningful way, and it seems like the second book keeps forgetting that he’s there.

if this were more about family, the motivations of both violet and her mother could be coherent. her mother could be sending her to the military due to weird survivor’s-guilt-by-proxy, like she feels like the dead son was the stronger sibling and resents frail violet for being alive while brennan is dead: in this case general sorrengail is in fact genuinely sending violet to get killed, as if this can set the narrative right. OR, if you want to be boring I guess, mom sorrengail is AGAINST violet joining the military, because she doesn’t want to lose another child and thinks violet could never succeed, in which case violet joins the military against her mother’s wishes and proves her wrong. either way, violet could have some complex about subverting/disproving/exceeding her mother’s expectations. she could join the military out of any number of fun things: spite; desire for her mother’s approval; desire to be with her remaining family, so that they won’t get killed like brennan while she stays helpless at home; a survivor’s-guilt-related drive to prove that she is strong enough to deserve to live while her brother is dead. then brennan’s reappearance could result in some kind of change of heart, for both violet AND her mother: brennan never would have wanted violet to feel like she had to prove the worth of her own life, especially on account of his death, and now that he is alive, she can’t avoid this, and feels weirdly hollow about the path she’s chosen. whereas her mother could realize that she’s done wrong by her daughter in letting her languish in the shadow of her brother’s death (and then her sacrifice at the end of the second book wouldn’t feel completely anemic). (I don’t know where xaden fits into all this but I don’t care that much. I guess make him a more likable man and then we can talk about his family issues or whatever.)

and, I don’t even think I need to say this, but my last fix for this manuscript would be that the sex should be freakier. violet has lightning powers and she never once zaps that boy? their dragons are both bonded, thus they all get horny at the same time, and the girl is bonded to the male dragon and the boy is bonded to the female dragon, and there’s no weird telepathic gender stuff? gg. and that’s it.

[unohanabbygirl]

Re; my last ask

Aemond not having any romantic partners pre or post Luke so when Luke randomly drops “oh my ex boyfriend (not Owen) used to steal my socks all the time drove me crazy” “me and this girl I dated once did a readathon for the local charity at my foster organisation”. Just little things for Aemond to be like 💔💔 because these little interactions really would’ve been heartbreaking to Aemond who really wants their little inside jokes and domesticity back. Those little moments he treasured more than anything.

Aemond hating horror movies but pretending to love them to get involved in Luke’s new hobbies. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Also when Luke casually drops on them at dinner he fucking hates romance books/movies (maybe his life disillusioned them to him and made them painful?? Or the less traumatic he grew out of them and prefers mysteries and thrillers and fantasy (which happened to me from like 14-22 lol) ) everyone just stops really eerily and Rhaenyra starts crying

Luke’s like

Aemond is stuck in a horrible place between being slightly jealous/heartbroken that he’s no longer the only love Luke’s experienced just as Luke is the only love he’s experienced, yet completely understanding because he knows how much of a privilege it is to be loved by someone like Luke. I can almost picture how much he wants to fall back into that domestic routine that he’s waited years to relive once again but being unable because it’s something that has to be built from the ground up all over again. Though its very bittersweet because though he misses their old way of life as husbands.

They end up creating a new routine with one another whether Luke has truly caught on or not. Its not until they both realize they have a sort of inside joke going on about something silly or embarrassing one of them did and now Aemond can’t help but truly feel at home 🥹

Aemond showing major interest in whatever Luke enjoys even though he may not like it much himself is just so beautiful. Especially when you realize Luke can easily catch on when someone isn’t that big of a fan of his favorite media so he suggests they find hobbies that they both enjoy, just the two of them.

Ugh, these two who are literally in their prime partying years and spending their Saturday nights crocheting on the couch together. Aemond is so terrible at it that Luke is beginning to wonder why the guy seems to enjoy it so much. Little does he know they used to do the same thing in the later years of their marriage all the time. Old and gray, Aemond watching Luke through his single eye lens since his sight slightly worsened once he hit his 60’s. Helping Luke with all the gentleness in the world as he fiddled with the embroidery needle because his hands were beginning to shake from arthritis and writing his journal entries were causing him horrible pain more often then not. I cry…

No, but why is Luke slowly but surely loosing his love for romance media as he grows and learns that real love is nothing like the novels a canon event!!!?

His announcement is such a shock to everyone because they all remember how deeply he loved those books. Especially Rhaenyra since she was the main person who made sure to get her baby a new novel every other week. Luke is supposed to be a hopeless romantic and now he’s going on about how such media paints an image of love that he isn’t too fond of.

Now Harwin, Laena, Laenor and Daemon are all trying to hush her tears and Luke is just looking towards to Jace for some help like “did I…say something wrong?”

[copiousloverofcopia]

Someone was sweet enough and crazy enough lol to commission me for my Fairlytale level fic!

This is a full chapter fanfiction, no less than 10,000 words about the commissioner's OC or whatever they want (of course within reason).

So because of them you all get a new Ghost fic featuring Secondo and a Sister of Sin who also happens to be half Imp, Desdemona through her eyes.

@marigold-magpie,I am so grateful for the opportunity to bring your awesome character to life. Thank you so much for commissioning me!

Chapter 2 will be coming soon, but without further ado....

-also trying something new by posting the chapter here and on AO3 for chapter fics let me know what you all think-

The Games We Play

You are Desdemona, a part Imp Sister of Sin with a penchant for a good time and an insatiable appetite for driving your lover, Papa Secondo, mad. When you discover an exciting development within the Abbey will be limiting his time with you more, you decide, with the help of Terzo, take it as a challenge to find a way to entertain yourself and get a rise out of him.

Also available HERE on AO3!

Definitely NSFW below the cut!

Commissions are open! Please see carrd info on pinned post for heart mug site info.

Chapter 1: Partners in Crime

It seemed as if it was a typical day at the Abbey. The sun, shining brightly through the stained-glass windows that lined the halls. A cascade of rich hues of crimson, cerulean, and violet—pouring inside as Terzo, the third Emeritus, son made his way to the cloister. He had an unusual pep in his step—even for him. Fingers running over the edge of his lapel and a stride that could only be described as prideful. 

He would usually make sure to pinch a few asses and steal a kiss or two on his way out. Terzo, the last person to be left out of any of the fun, but today was different. The sly Papa clearly had something on his mind. Determined to keep moving as he passed through the doors and outside—immediately catching sight of his intended destination just across the yard. 

He sauntered over, ducking his head into the stone alcove, where you, his best friend, sat—right where he knew you’d be. You were twisting the Grucifix around your neck, eyes locked on to yet another romance novel. Your current favorite, one dripping in cliche and fantasy about a monstrous man who likes to chase down his lovers–just how you liked it.  He sat down beside you, your eyes never leaving the page as you spoke. 

“And exactly what's got that roguish grin spread across your face?” you asked, eyebrow piqued and Terzo settling in his perch beside you. 

“What? Not even a ‘ciao’ or a ‘buongiorno your eminence’?” Terzo laughed. You swatted him, so fast that he couldn’t dodge, a strike to the arm with the hardback cover of your book.

“Just cut the bullshit Terz and tell me what's got you looking like the cat that caught the canary.” you inquired once more, this time letting out a bit of a chuckle. Somewhat amused by your dearest friend's antics—already working hard at this hour in the morning. 

“Alright…Alright…I come with some news. Straight from the office of his unholy pain in the ass.” Terzo explained, rolling his eyes at the mere thought of his father. “…seems they will be making our dear Cardinale Papa.”

“You have to be kidding?” you asked, feeling completely taken off guard. It wasn’t so much as you not being able to see Copia as Papa. You absolutely could, he was kindhearted and compassionate. Someone who you knew deep down had the passion it would take to lead. No, your surprise was more so to the fact that old man Nihil would allow the position to be relinquished to him. A prospect that felt more like science fiction, than actual ministry business.

“No Desi…seems the old witch has convinced him. The worst part is I can’t say I don’t agree with her on this one…he will make a fine Dark Pope. But I digress… that is actually only part of why I am here.”

“Oh?” you exclaimed, curious as to what Terzo had been carefully building up to. You closed your book, now fully committed to the conversation, staring at Terzo and waiting on edge for the rest of his “news”. For some answers, when you saw his face light up with amusement. 

 “You see, while I myself would be more than happy to assist in Copia’s transition, it seems my father has decided that your lover will be heading up the endeavor in my stead.”

 “Well fuck.” You blurted out, almost as fast as Terzo could get out the words. Secondo and your relationship was still new, but you already knew it was special. You still only barely knew each other, in the grand scheme of things. Having been his assistant for some time, you’d grown quite close—-even before a romantic word had been whispered between you. There was something about him that made you feel more fulfilled and alive than ever before. 

 His Papal duties within the Ministry, being an Emeritus, had of course always taken priority. Secondo’s initial reluctance and stubbornness to take to your union, a far cry from the grappling he now did with on conscience. Struggling with his need to work with wanting to spend every waking moment he could with you. Both of you, painfully settling for what you could get. A quickie in the hall or a late night rendezvous after a long tedious day at the office—it was never enough. What would things be like now that he had these other obligations placed upon him…would you both ever get any meaningful time to spend together—especially alone? 

 “Ah si, seems your Papa’s time will be much harder to manage Desi. What hey it's not like it wasn’t occupied mostly before by other things. Se non è zuppa �� pan bagnato.” Terzo jabbed.

 “And it absolutely can’t be you? Couldn’t be trusted?” You jabbed back, two could play at this game. You tail playfully swaying around behind you, denoting the satisfaction with your coeback.

“Well now cara. I wouldn’t say that…especially since I am the most devastatingly handsome of I miei fratelli.” he began, allowing your insult to roll off his back. You had never rolled your eyes so far into your skull. So far you might have seen a century in the past. “...unfortunately, despite all my meaningful qualifications as current reigning Papa…I am not the one that they entrust to train him.” Terzo shrugged, watching the hard look of contemplation fall over your face. A veil of thought shrouded upon you as you brushed a wayward lock of bangs from your eyes. Chewing on your lower lip and staring into space as you gathered up your thoughts. 

 “So, you say he’s going to be occupied hmm?”

 “Si, but I am sure the two of you will all find time to—wait. Cara what are you thinking?” Terzo smirked. You smiled back—your impish nature shining through as you had already devised a perfect plan. One that would take advantage of this otherwise trying situation. One you would need your best friend to help assist you with.  

 “I need you to tell me everything. Where he goes, all the things that are on his agenda, every last detail as soon as you know them Terz. I plan to make good use of this situation…if we can’t have alone time cause he will be too occupied with this, well then I will find a way to play with him. Tear away his thoughts from this stuff with Copia and put them back on me.” You winked. 

 “What do you have in mind?” Terzo asked, his curiosity like that of a cat. 

 “I will tease him. Spend every moment I can, relentlessly taunting him. We will see just how long he can hold that stoic resolve before it breaks, and he gives in.”

 “You are truly something Desi. I am game for whatever you have planned. We are in this together then?”

 “Together” you told Terzo, grabbing his hand to shake it. Firm and fast in front of you both before letting go. “Partners in crime.”

 The sunshine fighting against the blinds, filled the room with a deep warm glow. Secondo sat at his desk, not afraid to already dip into his stash of Scotch. It may be only the late hours of the morning, but it was already a long day and he needed his vice to get through it. The caramel-colored liquid sloshed around in the glass as he sat it back down on his desk, his head now resting in his hands. 

 "Ah cazzo, non so nemmeno da dove cominciare." He heavily exhaled. Helping get Terzo into position to take over the papacy was one thing but being in charge of helping the Cardinal become Papa—made his bald head ache. 

He stood up, about ready to grab some things off the bookcase, when the faint hint of a familiar laugh caught his attention. He pulled down the blinds with his leather gloved finger, as his eyes steadily adjusted to the light. His gaze quickly fell over the churchyard which was bustling with activity. Nothing unexpected for this time of day, but he wasn't concerned about anything else— he found what he was looking for. The stone alcove, just left from the center of the far wall, your favorite spot and one he knew well. 

 You were there as expected. Looking Hell-sent just for him in your form fitting habit, sans veil, and a hint of your fishnet stockings peeking out from the slit—sending his blood surging through his veins. It was no accident that your favorite spot to sit was within sight of his office window. The two of you, sending passing glances to each other from afar long before you were together in any official capacity—even if he’d tried to deny his affections. Also, as expected, Terzo was there too. 

 Secondo let out a huff as he saw him with you. He knew the two of you were the best of friends. That there were no romantic feelings between you—like the sister Terzo never had. However, the situation did make him more than a bit uncomfortable when he decided to make you, his assistant, his lover.   

 He groaned again, watching the two of you engaged in conversation. Plotting looks, painted on your faces as you engaged in conversation. Your hellish eyes, burning with excitement at whatever it was you and his fratello were discussing. His heart aching that at the thought of having to put your romantic interludes to the side—all for the rat. 

 He wasn’t fond of him, Copia. Calling him “ratto” on a regular basis and avoiding his, what Secondo would refer to as a driveling way of speaking, like the plague. Now he would be forced to spend the next several weeks teaching him the ins and outs of the role for which he was to ascend. Weeks that Secondo would be given very little reprieve to spend with you. 

 The thoughts kept his head aching, when he received a text from Copia. He sighed at first then took a swig from his glass, letting out a sound of satisfaction as the well aged sweet liquid flowed down his throat. He lifted his phone to read.

 Sister says we are to meet at 11: 30, si? 👍🏻🙂

Secondo rolled his eyes at the message. Taking a moment before replying only with an “ok”. He stuffed his phone back into his pants pocket and returned to look back outside. He was just in time to watch as Terzo and you left the alcove, scampering back inside the Abbey. 

 “And just what are the two of you up to now?”

Notes:

Se non è zuppa è pan bagnato- If it’s not soup, it’s wet bread (an Italian saying meaning  used to express that two things are essentially the same thing.) 

I miei fratelli- my siblings

Ah cazzo, non so nemmeno da dove cominciare- Ah fuck, I don't even know where to begin

[lavendershowcase]

If you haven’t heard of The Lavender Book Club yet then oh boy! I have a very appealing club you might want to join.

The Lavender Book Club has one major goal for all of us: to read more books written by and about LGBT writers. Right now, the club is pretty small and all conversations have been very chill. It is a discourse-free zone. If I see people getting too rowdy over anything that isn’t related to the book, they will immediately be kicked out of the server. Any attacks on anyone else’s identity or labels or experiences will not be tolerated.

If you would like to check out our Discord server, you can join here.

Transcript under cut:

An Introduction to the Lavender Book Club: a queer book club hosted by The Lavender Showcase, a blog dedicated to sharing and spreading works by LGBT writers

What Does the Book Club Read?

The Lavender Book Club reads books written by/about queer people. The books currently on our list vary. We have sci-fan, fantasy, YA, contemporary literature, romance, and non-fiction.

Every month, we try following a theme. Every theme is a bit vague. It could be just classics, YA, or non-fiction. There is quite an impressive spreadsheet, so we're currently not looking for any new suggestions. We're trying to pick through the books we've already been recommended.

When Does the Book Club Meet?

The book club "meets" every third Sunday of the month. It's 100% text-based meetings.

Most of the conversation happens in our Discord server, but anyone is also welcome to have conversations on Tumblr. You can send in asks or tag us if you would like to have us engage with your thoughts. You could also use the hastag #lavender book club and see who else is following the tag!

What Have We Read So Far?

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun. Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuin. Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu.

How to Join Our Club

Anyone can join any way they want!

The invite link is posted [above]. Meetings are chill so there is no need to worry about how much you're talking. You don't even have to finish the book! A lot of times, in meetings, a good number of us haven't finished the book. Those who have, though, usually use spoilers to black out their text.

You can also just hop on Tumblr when the meeting day comes and chat however you like with other people who have read the book.

There's no pressure to read every book every month. If you just want to join because you think our current read looks interesting, that's fine! If you want to sit out some months because you can't find the books or aren't interested, that's fine too!

[zutaralesbian]

Prime just cancelled my favorite lesbian led show after it was already renewed for season 2, so I'm feeling hopeless about the state of sapphic TV right now. Got any wlw book recommendations?

I heard the news about ALOTO. I’m sorry nonny :(

I’m not gonna lie. I’m not a huge book reader these days. I’m trying to get into it again, but I’m super slow lol. I’ll read a book relatively quickly but then go months without picking one up again. But here are a few wlw books that I enjoyed:

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon: This is a monster of a book (over 700 pages) but it’s sooo worth it. (The chapters are also short, which helped me fly through it relatively quickly). It’s high fantasy with more than one POV character. Kind of like asoiaf but without the raging misogyny. The book isn’t just about the sapphic ship but their relationship does play a big part. They’re also super slow-burn, which I loved. Ead/Sabran literally changed me it’s been months and my brainrot over them is still strong. Can’t recommend it enough. The author also wrote a prequel that I haven’t read yet, but I heard it also has wlw romances in it.

The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir: Gideon the Ninth is the first book in the series, followed by Harrow the Ninth and Nona the Ninth. (And still ongoing). These books will gaslight you multiple times and confuse you, but I still liked them lmao. Lesbian necromancers in space. And lesbian characters who are very morally grey (some more than others lmao) which everyone knows I love. Gideon/Harrow is a great enemies to friends to lovers.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: Don’t let the het-baiting title fool you. This book is about Evelyn, a classic actress from the 50’s and 60’s, telling her life story as an old woman to a writer. Through flashbacks we see her rise as a famous actress. And one of the biggest components of her story is her long, secret love affair with another fellow actress. Warning: Lots of period-typical homophobia in this one. This book is very flawed but I still love it.

And I haven’t read it myself yet but I did buy it and plan to: The Rise of Kyoshi by F.C. Yee. If you like Avatar, it’s Avatar Kyoshi’s backstory, who is bisexual. And her love interest in this book is a woman.

….And embarrassingly that’s all I have so far. I’m gonna go ahead and mention @tridentarius here because she’s the queen of reading wlw books.

[notadryseatinthehouse]

Radiance by Grace Draven

I finished this book in like 20 hours and that was with a full day of work involved and a reasonable night of sleep.

Not only because it was compelling, but also because it’s relatively short - my Kindle estimated about 6 hours to read it, and I probably read it in around 5.

The real treat to be savored here is the relationship between our leads. This one had been on my TBR for a long time, but because it looked a little darker, and a little more “enemies to lovers”, I was waiting until I was in the mood. I picked it up now though because it was an active book in the buddy read discord I’m in, and I was so pleasantly surprised.

Ildiko is a human woman, forsaken niece of an uncaring king and queen, who has been offered as a “good faith” bride to the Kai, a sort of demonic, vaguely magical race with whom this human kingdom requires an alliance.

Brishen is the second and youngest son of a cruel, vicious royal power couple. His elder brother has secured the family bloodline six times over, so Brishen is similarly unnecessary, and thus becomes the perfect groom for this human bride.

Ildiko is terrified by Brishen’s gray skin, wolf-like set of teeth, and long, sharp claws, and Brishen is disgusted and unsettled by Ildiko’s pale skin, “parasitic” eyes (fabulous descriptions and jokes here about the eyes by the way), and her square, horsey teeth.

And yet, from their very first meeting, they are instantly friends. They share a similar sense of humor, as well as a respectful approach to one another, and a reasonably happy acceptance that this is their lot in life. Both are happy to be ignored, forgotten, and left alone. They’re physically affectionate with one another from the get-go - lots of hugs and forehead kisses and hand-holding, and they immediately begin leaning on each other for strength and courage as they navigate increasingly fraught court politics and skirmishes hinting at a brewing war.

I could go into the politics and the impending war I guess but blah blah blah, the REALLY INTERESTING PART is the couple themselves, who are goals from the very beginning. Their immediate respect and like of each other naturally grows to a genuine trust, and they become best friends and confidantes, and then, all of a sudden, they can’t keep their eyes (or hands) off each other. It feels so natural and cute - their first sexual encounter doesn’t take place until over 50% of the way through the book, but it’s well worth the wait.

Will absolutely read book 2 to get more Ildiko and Brishen in my life. If you’re a fan of ACOTAR, The Bargainer series, or any kind of fantasy romance that highlights the relationship over the rest of the plot, you’ll probably enjoy this one.

⚠️WARNING⚠️

There is a fair amount of violence in this book, and one part in particular I wanted to call out because this is the kind of thing I personally like to know about. There is eye trauma in this book. A character loses an eye while being tortured. We do not see this happen, but there is a reasonably graphic description of the aftermath, as well as some discussion about the character learning to adjust with only one eye. In an especially hideous and cruel scene later, the eye in question makes a startling reappearance. JUST WARNING YOU because I hate eye trauma more than almost anything else and I wish I had known so I could be prepared.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: 22-year-old Heather is suffering from an epic case of burnout.So, just like any other young influencer, sheabandons her social platforms. Check!gathers up her best flowy dresses. Check!and moves to a desolate cabin. Check!Heather imagines spending her #unplugged days traipsing through the woods and tending to her garden. However, her cottagecore fantasy is turned upside down when a wounded cryptid crashes into her roof-and her heart.With no help from her internet followers, and the local monster-hunter growing suspicious, Heather's quiet life in the wilderness has suddenly become a little more complicated. To make matters worse, she thinks she might be falling in love with the brooding winged man in her living room.

Review:

She’s a 22 year old influencer who needs a break from it all and decides to stay in an isolated cabin in the woods, he’s the mothman who comes crashing through her rough and into her heart. Heather has a bad case of burnout from being an influencer, constantly worrying about making content, looking perfect, and making other people happy. She wants a break so she decides to fulfill her cottagecore fantasies by renting out a cabin in the woods, yet the moment she gets into town she discovers that there is a monster in the woods... and later on said monster literally saves her only to then end up crashing through her roof a few days later. Heather can’t help but find him cute, especially with his long eye lashes, gorgeous wings, sharp cheekbones, and gorgeous hands. Heather nurses him back to health and spends time with him, she begins to fall for him and to her surprise he is also falling for her. Yet with a local monster hunter growing suspicious, Heather’s quiet life in the wilderness with a cute mothman is threatened and soon it might end terribly. Can she make it work with her brooding winged man or will the hunter finally catch him. This was a surprisingly super sweet story and the romance was cute, I didn’t know what to expect going into this, but it was super sweet and fluffy. Heather and Moth were cute and I can’t wait to see where the next book in the series goes!

[brunhielda]

Since you all liked the last one-

Another random Tolkien thought:

(we will not be discussing what it means that I randomly have thoughts on a man long dead, even if he did shape the fantasy genre as we know it)

So I was watching The Hobbit, mostly for the Bilbo/Thorin feels and completely ignoring the unnecessary elvish/dwarvish romance, as you do-

And I am looking at this going “Damn Thorin, you don’t know this guy, why you gotta be so harsh?”

Then replying to myself “Well, because despite being technically a King, Thorin is a “WORKING MAN”tm, who takes one look at Bilbo’s fine China and soft hands and knows him for the soft, well off gentry he is. And it is fair to be worried this guy might hold them back enough to get someone killed. Could have been less rude about it, but is he wrong?”

And I have been talking, in other spaces, about how all of the “comfy cozy” British literature is based off a class in Britain that is not living in castles by any means, but have inherited wealth, and as long as they don’t spend too much in any one place, there is an “allowance” coming from a back account somewhere that allows them to live in general comfort. So the characters can sit about all cozy, do gardening or boats for fun, and often spend thier days stopping in at the neighbors for chats and tea. Stories include Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willows, Frog and Toad, and yes, Hobbit Society.

And I have a sudden thought- Is that Tolkien? A quick google says he grew up an orphan with an aunt and looked after by a priest, but yes, he was, as described, “the genteel side of poverty,” meaning that was the society he grew up in as a child, and the society of the people the associated with at Oxford as an adult, even if he had to face more hardships than they did.

So the Hobbits are what he knows, what he remembers fondly from his childhood, what he tries to build for his kids.

The Dwarves are warriors. They are men who work with thier hands, even the most noble of them, when they are not fighting. They may not know all the stuff Bilbo or Gandalf know about histories and elves, but they have thier own histories and prides, and are intelligent in all the ways that matter. And Bilbo is the soft one that got dragged along for skills they can’t see yet, who they poke and prod at until they find his measure under all that fluffy comfort, and are finally proud to call shield brother.

Suddenly I have an image of a very young, nerdy, twiggy Tolkien, WWI, just given the rank of lieutenant because of his Oxford education, shipping out with rough and tumble British working class men, sure that this little idealist who has only ever read books and knows nothing of life is going to get them all killed. And they are looking up to (idk the ranks) a Sargent? A Captain? Someone who surprisingly made his way there from the bottom ranks rather than buying a commission, and has seen a million battles, so the men love and follow him without hesitation. Tolkien didn’t get shipped out til almost mid-way through the war, so this is a likely scenario- the little newbie who has clever ideas but no practical experience, trying so damn hard to impress the superior officer he is idolizing.

Maybe that didn’t happen. I have no records or other sources to back it up. But it explains the characters relationships, and the story trajectory.

My take away on all of Middle Earth literature- Tolkien might be the first author to truly capture Philia (brotherly love, bond between war brothers) in fantasy since Troy (please give me other examples if I am wrong, I want to read them), because he lived it. Whether or not he intentionally boss characters off of anyone in particular, his life experiences in WWI are bleeding through, and it is beautiful.

But IF I am right, and some of this was Tolkien processing his individual experiences in war-

What I really want to know, what I am desperate to know now that I have had this thought and seen this image in my mind:

If Tolkien is Bilbo… who was Thorin?

I bet he was something else.

[moothemo]

The compulsive urge to answer them all:

1. Wine glasses

2. Both

3. Cotton candy

4. I don’t know and I don’t want to know

5. Cans

6. Grunge/formal combo? Idk I like dress shirts with jeans and a leather jacket and sometimes a waistcoat

7. Earbuds

8. Tv shows

9. I’ve never considered this and its now winter so that’s hard but I do like the ocean

10. Badminton

11. Porridge in winter and weetbix bites or something similar in summer

12. The new of old

13. Lanyard. I think? That’s a hard one

14. Liquorice

15. Holes

16. Curled up sideways on my couch

17. Green converse

18. Cool breeze, warm sun. Like 20 degrees

19. On my stomach, hands under my thighs

20. A4 scrap paper. Preferably graph

21. The babysitters club

22. Mum

23. I have this stim where I wriggle my toes in patterns? I don’t know if that counts though

24. Amethyst

25. Summer of ‘69 - Bryan Adams

26. Read outside in the sun

27. Read inside with hot chocolate and a blanket

28. Accidentally in Love - Dirty Loops, The Jazz Police - Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band, Soft - Motionless In White, Brainwash Broadcast - Dragged Under, Seagulls! (Stop It Now) - Bad Lip Reading

29. Non-romance book discussion, or YA romance books (I enjoy romance but sometimes the community is weird) (also fanfic romance is fine)

30. My church, but also like this one room in my high school music building. We thought it was haunted

31. Blue skinny jeans, black singlet, red and blue flannel shirt, beanie

32. I missed that entire thing somehow. I don’t even think I know five. I can’t think of any right now

33. Ok thanks.

34. “It’s BCF-ing fun!” Right now at least anyway

35. 10pm

36.

37. Duffel bag

38. Tea

39. Lemon cake

40. A pigeon killed itself flying into a window in primary school, and landed on some kid’s bag

41. Father dearest

42. PANTS!!!

43. Leather jacket

44. I don’t like scented soap. It’s best if it smells like nothing

45. DON’T MAKE ME PICK! I love sci fi, but it gets a little close to action sometimes, and fantasy is great but only kids and YA. But not superhero

46. Trackies and no shirt

47. Tasty. Because I’m a basic bitch

48. A tomato. Controversial if I’m actually a fruit (person), mixed feelings about the best way to eat me (deal with me), I’m red (blush easily), and I’m tough on the outside but soft on the inside

49. It’s not really one, but at the moment I’m living by the knowledge that I’m preparing myself for a life where I’ll never see most of the people I do now, so who cares what they think.

50. The realisation that one of my teachers looks just like Pete from Mickey Mouse

51. Finishing my goddamn assignments on time

52. I don’t have one really, but times new Roman is cool

53. As in ones on top on my phone and the other’s behind it? Or they’re kinda soft and my nails are a decent length.

54. Haven’t had one yet

55. The original Cinderella

56. Putting up the Christmas tree as a family while watching the pageant

57. My parent’s separation, learning that there will always be someone who disagrees with me, and learning that I am actually allowed to do what I want with my life and no my friends can’t stop me

58. Maths, music, science and cooking

59. I don’t know what it even could be. My life is fanfiction, school and dystopian novels. I’ve got no clue what my options are. But as a general catchphrase, I use “greetings” like “hello there”

60. THERE’S DIFFERENT KINDS OF ANIME? Why am I doing this list. Uh, idk studio Ghibli seems cool I guess?

61. “It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles” - Machiavelli. I know he’s got a bad reputation but he’s got some good points. A lot of his philosophy surrounds ruling a country, and as I have no interest in leadership, I don’t see the harm. I also find politics fascinating, so his work is really interesting.

62. Sheldon Cooper, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Winston Smith, Michelle Jones, Clint Barton, Sophie Sheridan. I need to get into more fandoms

63. The Fastest Way to a Girls Heart is Through Her Ribcage - Ice Nine Kills, Famous Last Words- MCR, The Hobbit Meets Metal - ERock (don’t judge it until you’ve heard it), Thriller - Ice Nine Kills, Mercy - Bad Omens

64. Cool Maths Games

65. On my right knee. I tripped over a trampoline when I was seven, landed on a hanging pot that was sitting on the ground, and cut it to the bone.

66. Baby’s breath

67. Closest thing is a locket from my Oma with a picture of my deceased Grandpa and dog. I wear it everywhere, always.

68. I had a meatball panini the other day. It tasted like somebody combined pesto, garlic bread and spaghetti and meatballs, but somehow was bad.

69. Wombat poop is square

70. Right handed

71. Mermaid scales

72. PE

73. Fish Fingers and custard, or chocolate topping in Mac and Cheese.

74. 7-8

75. Halfway through reception, probably just before I turned 6

76. Gnocchi. I’m not a big fan of potato because I don’t like the starchy texture, but gnocchi is really just pasta made of potato

77. Plastic ones. I’ll kill the real ones

78. Sushi from a grocery store.

79. My drivers license, but only because I had a shitty haircut right before my last school photo

80. Today, jewel. Yesterday, earth.

81. What the fuck are lightning bugs. I’ve never even seen fireflies. But glow worms are pretty cool.

82. PC. A less brutal argument and easier decision

83. I like writing non fiction for school and stuff like essays, but creative wise, drawing.

84. Podcasts

85. Mythology

86. Cookies

87. Losing everything and everyone I care about in a fire, and burning myself in an attempt to save them.

88. To move to Switzerland and work at CERN. I want to work in quantum physics, and I love Switzerland anyway. It’s a beautiful country.

89. Myself. It’s taken a while to get there, but I’ve learned that I’m the most important person in my life. Otherwise my mum is a pretty close second. I love her so much.

90. I guess I went to a shit school academically and struggled to get the education I needed, but that gave me bonus credit to boost my ATAR (Australian Tertiary Admission Rank) score

91. Boxes?

92. Overhead or fairy, depends on how much light I need

93. MoMo, MooMoo, Soup

94. Autumn

95. Probably tumblr actually because ao3 doesn’t have an app

96. It changes between lots of different clone wars and rebels screenshots and posters

97. 4. Mine, my mum’s, my dad’s, and my dad’s house phone

98. Probably early to mid 1900’s. I know it’s modern history but I find the world wars interesting.

I think I misinterpreted the point of this but oh well

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[mybookplacenet]

Featured Post: Little Girl Lost by Mia Frances

About Little Girl Lost: Wyoming sheriff Zac McHenry is fit to be tied. A new "working girl" just showed up at a local truck stop, ruining his stakeout. There's been an influx of transients passing through his county lately. Bringing an epidemic of drugs, crime, and vice with them. The last thing he wants is another hooker setting up shop in town. He's determined to send her packing. He's 6' 4" and she's a little bit of a thing…how hard could it be? Turns out getting rid of her isn't as easy as he thought. When he barges into her motel room, she thinks he's an attacker and wallops him with her purse. She's arrested for assaulting an officer and hauled off to jail. Zac soon realizes things aren't what they seem. Ali Bellabonafortuna is no hooker. She's a youth librarian from upstate New York. Much to Zac's chagrin, Ali is well connected. She knows several state and federal judges who intercede on her behalf. He's forced to let her go. Thinking she'll leave as soon as she's released, he checks her out of her motel room, but Ali's not going anywhere. She's staking out the truck stop too, looking for the man who picked up a 13-year-old runaway named Peeky. The girl participated in a program for at-risk teens at Ali's library. She disappeared from the truck stop a week ago and hasn't been heard from since. Ali's not leaving until she finds her. There's a rodeo in town and her room's already been rented out. In fact, there are no rooms to be found anywhere in the area for the next four days. Ali's temporarily homeless and its Zac's fault! There's only one thing to do—she'll just have to move in with him until another room opens up. Zac thinks his houseguest is a foulmouthed, ill-behaved hellion. Ali thinks he's an interfering, arrogant bully. But when they work together to investigate a case of kidnapping, human trafficking, and murder...sparks begin to fly. Is this any way to start a romance? Targeted Age Group: adult Written by: Mia Frances Buy the ebook: Buy the Book On Amazon Buy the Print Book: Buy the Book On Amazon Author Bio: Mia Frances is the pen name of author Mary Vigliante Szydlowski. As Mia Frances, she's the author of the dark, post-apocalyptic romance, TRIBES; steamy romantic suspense novel, Little Girl Lost; and the IN HIS KEEPING erotic romantic murder mystery series: IN HIS KEEPING: TAKEN, IN HIS KEEPING: BANISHED, and IN HIS KEEPING: CLAIMED. Her Science Fiction works include novels: The Ark (Jarl Szydlow), The Colony (Mary Vigliante), The Land (Mary Vigliante), Source of Evil (Mary Vigliante), and novella, The Hand of My Enemy. She's also the author of the psychological thriller, horror novel, Worship the Night; and Dark Realm, the tale of a dystopian world ruled by Satan. In addition, she's the author of mainstream novel Silent Song. She’s also published 11 children's books: There's A Mouse In The House, Are We There Yet?, Little Sowbug & the Big Flood, Ghoul School, Millie Muldoon & the Case of the Halloween Haunting, Millie Muldoon & the Case of the Thanksgiving Turkey-napper, Millie Muldoon & the Christmas Mystery, A Puddle for Poo, Kia’s Manatee, The Duck in the Hole, and I Can't Talk I've Got Farbles In My Mouth. Her stories appear in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dog Did What?, Volunteering and Giving Back, Merry Christmas!, Mom Knows Best, and Life Lessons from the Dog. Her short stories, articles, children’s stories, essays, and poems have appeared in books, magazines, newspapers, and on the web. She's a member of the Authors’ Guild, Society of Children’s Books Writers & Illustrators, Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America), and Romance Writers of America. Follow the author on social media: Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author's Website Facebook Fan Page Twitter Instagram Pinterest LinkedIn YouTube Read the full article

[jadejedi]

Mid-Year Reading Roundup

I haven’t posted a review in a while because I am quite busy at the moment, but since we are more than halfway through the year, I wanted to do a quick highlight of my favorite reads of the year so far. (I’m planning on doing a bigger breakdown of everything I’ve read this year in December). I will link my full reviews where applicable. So, here are my top five favorite reads of the year so far, listed in the order I read them in:

Babel, by R.F. Kuang 5/5

I loved the main character so much, and I thought that Kuang ‘went there’ in a way that I was absolutely not expecting, even though I should have from the title. It is a tad slow in the middle, but everything else about it was so good that this is one I recommend to everyone. I don’t know that a book has ever made me cry so hard as this one did. 

Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir 5/5

This is the second book in The Locked Tomb Series, and let me tell you, this book is bananas crazy and it absolutely took me a second read to fully get it. On the first read, I actually had to take a break because I was just so confused, even though I had spoiled myself and read the wikipedia page. Then, once I got to the ending, I was so blown away I immediately had to go and reread the first one, and then this one. The amount of foreshadowing and references to things that you straight up can’t understand until you reread it is crazy. But the story is wonderful and it has such amazing reveals and twists. The characters from book one you’ll love or love to hate even more, and the new characters are just as good.  

Circe, Madeline Miller 5/5

I didn’t expect to love this one as much as I did, but oh my god what a beautiful 

book. I haven’t read Song of Achilles (yet), so I didn’t have any experience with 

Miller’s writing. I was so blown away by her writing style; most of the time it didn’t feel like I was reading at all, it just felt like the story was carrying me along. It’s just so beautifully introspective. Not much happens, but at the same time, so much happens. And the ending touched me in a way I did not expect. 

Happy Place, Emily Henry 5/5

I found out that this is many people’s least favorite Emily Henry novel, and I just have to say… WHAT????! This book absolutely blew me away. I guess if you’re not into the miscommunication trope, then sure this one might be hard to get through, but I love me some angsty miscommunication so this one was perfect for me. I also think that Henry does such a good job at making the friendships her protagonists have just as important to the plot and to the MC’s character development as the romantic interest, and that is especially true for this one. This one is just as much about friendship as it is about romance, IMO. And it’s also about like, identity and careers and the things we do to feel like we have value. Also, this one made me cry like three separate times towards the end. 

The Way of Kings, Brandon Sanderson 5/5

Okay, ngl, I kinda went into this one hoping I’d hate it. Sanderson is just such a big name in fantasy I was kind of feeling snobbish and hoping I could turn my nose up at it. But no. No, despite the audiobook being over forty hours long, I flew through it and loved every second. I don’t think Sanderson is as good of a writer as someone like G.R.R. Martin, or N.K. Jemison, but he is a very compelling story teller. 

(Honorable mention to The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison, another 5/5. I left it off the list because it just made me so so so sad lmao.)

[wonkyreads]

Evergreen by Devil Greenlee

2.5 magical blooms out of 5

Evergreen is only in the loosest sense a reimagining of The Secret Garden, which was the main point of interest for me personally going into it, but at this point I take most comps with a grain of salt anyway. (This book is also a lesson in not judging based solely off of covers because for some reason I went into this thinking it was sapphic??)

Honestly, though, Evergreen is an urban fantasy coming of age story that leans heavily into a romance between Quill, the first male druid and a bit of a Rapunzel character, and Liam, the boy next door. Quill is tasked with taking care of his family’s magical garden while he struggles to come to terms with the fact that he’s 17 and hasn’t shown any magical capabilities of his own.

Quill is stubborn and selfish, sarcastic and incredibly bitter, yet so fully naive at times. I tend to really enjoy unlikable narrators and he definitely fits the bill, though I can’t tell if it was intentional or not. For most of the book the fact that Quill was just a teenager who made stupid or silly decisions felt like a nice change, but there’s a point where you expect the main character to grow. With Quill that switch comes late and sudden when I’d have thoroughly enjoyed a slow build. Outside of that he was sometimes very inconsistent with his narration in a way that doesn’t feel intentional. Something about him stumbling his way through the human world was just so fun to read, though what he knew and didn’t know felt like this part of his character could have benefited from being a little more thought out.

There were also times when the information he was conveying was inconsistent as well. He’d wax poetic about how he knew every inch of the garden in one chapter, then the next introduce a room he’s never been allowed inside of, then the next reveal that he hardly ever strayed past the front of the garden actually, and a few chapters later complain that he’d walked every inch of it a hundred times over the years. That inconsistency existed in other areas of the writing too, creating plot holes and convenient excuses that were difficult to ignore. I found myself fact checking (tap water does have chlorine in it more often than not and like 90% of gummy worms aren’t vegan) and constantly flipping back and forth to make sure that I wasn’t actually crazy and that there were direct contradictions happening.

That said, getting to read a story based around a family of dryads was interesting and the fantasy elements built into the world were very soft and generally fun and easy to understand. I think the soft world building was the most developed part of the story and allowed for moments that genuinely shone in my opinion. It stayed consistent in ways the other parts of the writing just didn’t.

Honestly, this book just needed another round or two of edits and some more in-depth development. The idea is solid and there are parts that made me want to like the whole book far more than I did. For instance, the ‘big bad’ and the last quarter of the book? Imagining someone just walking into town and finding that situation? Fantastic creeping horror idea. It’s going to haunt me, genuinely. (I’m trying to avoid spoilers so bad, guys.)

There are scenes that shine and the bones to a really great story, but in the end there just wasn’t enough development. I think Greenlee could do some really cool things in the future, this debut was just a little too rushed. It would have benefited from some more eyes on it and another draft, but he’s an author I’ll be keeping an eye on for sure.

[I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Huge thanks to NetGalley and Entangled Publishing for this ARC.]