#yesterday was fine. I existed I think. I survived I think.

[striveattemptfail]

maybe it's a little too early (to know if this is gonna work) | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 5.2k, M

@poolverine-week: Day 6 – Sharing Clothes

Summary: Five times Wade steals wears Logan's clothes, and one time Logan wears Wade's suit. Rated for allusions to sex, but nothing explicit. Takes place some time after the movie’s events; assume Logan and Wade are back-up X-Men. Read on Ao3

A/N: Thank you to B @broosepayne for helping out with random details + thank you to @fuckselfloveihatemyself for suggesting "impersonation" for the final scene. Shout out to the Manga Hoes server for listening to me bitch about finishing this fic lol. Un-beta'd and I apologize /o\ Title from You Look Good In My Shirt by Keith Urban—just be grateful I didn't give this fic the exact same name lmaooo

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[ Wardrobe Status: Nothing / Wearing Wade’s Clothes ]

The first morning he wakes up in Wade’s timeline—his new universe—Logan has on nothing but a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a pair of highlighter pink Hello Kitty boxers. He desperately needs something to wear aside from what are basically undergarments because he came into this world with nothing but his X-Men suit.

Or what’s left of it anyway.

Which is why, once he finally gets up from the pull-out bed, he sees Wade trying on the jacket that the TVA gave him after they destroyed the Time Ripper. Wade is in front of the only full-size mirror in the apartment, twisting his body every which way to inspect the jacket.

Then, he catches Logan’s reflection in the mirror.

“Morning, peanut!” he greets, turning around to face him with a smile. “I’m trying this on to see how it fits on me.”

“Uh, yeah. I see that,” Logan says with brows furrowed. “Why?”

“I was thinking about grabbing you some clothes but need a reference for your size.”

“Bub, that jacket is too big even for me.”

“...okay, yeah,” Wade eventually concedes, “but it’s the only thing you own that isn’t shredded to pieces from the Time Ripper.”

Unfortunately, the moron has a point. As it is, the boxers Wade loaned him are a bit tight on his waist, and the collar of the shirt is snug on his neck, but it’s not like Logan’s in any position to complain.

“I have to swing by Target to grab supplies for Dogpool anyway,” Wade continues before making kissy faces at the dog in question. “We need to get you some treats, huh, little missy? Yeah! And then we’ll get honey badger some clothes that actually fit him!”

And, well, it’s not like Logan is keen on stepping outside of this apartment in the brightest colour he’s ever worn in his over 200-year existence. It’s also not like he even has the funds to buy himself a hotdog from the street vendor around the corner, much less purchase anything for a new wardrobe. So if Wade wants to go out and buy some clothes for him, Logan isn’t going to stop him.

He grunts his assent as he makes his way to the kitchen, muttering a gruff Fine as he starts on a cup of coffee.

Later, when Wade leaves for Target, Logan grabs the now tossed aside TVA jacket.

If he happens to take a sniff of it once Wade’s out the door (inhaling the scent of cloyingly sweet body wash, hot sauce, and something Logan is fast recognizing as Wade), it’s simply because he wants to know whether it already stinks after yesterday’s events.

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[ Wardrobe Status: One Load of Staples ]

Luckily for Logan, Peter and Dopinder volunteered to help Wade clothes shop when he went to Target. Apparently, Wade wanted to buy all sorts of brightly coloured cutesy shit—like much of his own clothing, allegedly so the two of them could match—but Peter and Dopinder manage to rein him in and grab a few staples. T-shirts, jeans, sweatpants, boxers, socks, and a pair of shoes that’ll fall apart in about a month if Logan has to guess.

It’s enough for him to survive on until he can buy more clothes, and enough to produce a load of laundry once the day arrives. Luckily, the apartment has a washer-dryer combo in the unit, so he finishes the single, meagre load of clothes he owns in no time. He’s bringing them to the bedroom to put away when he finds Wade already inside, standing there in nothing but the smallest pair of tighty-whities Logan’s ever seen on a man.

“What the fuck,” is all he can say.

“Hey, honey badger!” Wade greets, normal as ever, as if he’s not exposing miles of skin and taut muscle that Logan would love to—

He messily dumps his clothes onto the bed, scowling at Wade.

“Why the fuck are you naked?” he demands.

“Oh, please, I’m hiding all the goods,” Wade brushes him off. He turns back to the heap of clothes on the hamper, presumably to find something that doesn’t smell like wet dog or weeks old nastiness.

Shit. The damn briefs aren’t even large enough to completely cover Wade’s ass, and Logan can see a hint of cheeks peeking through.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Logan rolls his eyes, hoping that his frown hides the conflict inside him.

With a smirk that can only spell trouble, Wade faces him again to thumb at the waistband of his underwear. “Would you rather I take them off?”

Logan snarls, averting his gaze to the small mound of clothes he has to put away. He angrily starts folding things, breath coming out in huffs that he hopes convey annoyance.

“Jeez, who pissed in your coffee this morning, kitty cat?” Wade complains, letting go of the waistband. “It’s not like I’m rubbing one out in front of you.”

“Shut the fuck up, bub,” Logan spits, throwing down another folded shirt.

The problem—like most things—is because of Wade.

It’s hard enough to share any amount of space with him, much less sleep in the same bed together every night, and Logan’s only a man. He might be too proud to admit it out loud (especially to a blabber mouth like Wade), but god fucking damnit somehow the fucker’s gotten under his skin. He makes Logan crave for more than innocently spooning in the early hours of the morning, want more than stolen glances when he thinks Wade isn’t looking.

It doesn’t help that Wade flirts with him constantly. People used to chastise Logan for how aggressively he pursued Jean back in the day. Now, he knows it’s nothing compared to the constant boner Wade has towards anything that speaks to him.

Logan needs to stop this train of thought—thinking about Wade’s boner is only going encourage his own.

“So, why are you naked?” he asks, probably angrier than acceptable for a conversation like this but, fuck, does Wade bring out the asshole in him.

“Technically, I’m not—”

“Fine, almost naked, you annoying prick.”

He looks up to find Wade with narrowed eyes, shooting him a dubious look that can only say, Are you serious?

“Obviooouslyyy,” he drawls out, rifling through the hamper again, “I thought I had more clothes left.”

Logan looks at the mountain Wade’s digging through. “Wait, you’re completely out of clean clothes? How the fuck did that happen?”

“I don’t know!” Wade throws his hands up in exasperation. “Ask the author!”

“I have no idea what that means,” he admits. “Anyway, why are you only in underwear?”

“What? You want me to steal some of Blind Al’s shit?” Wade pauses then, clearly mulling it over. “Actually, now that I think about it, her tracksuits would look great on me. They’d fit like baby clothes on a high schooler but it could be like a Y2K revival. Juicy Couture à la Wade. I’d smell like mothballs and old lady all day but it’d be worth it, I think!” He ends the rambling with a toothy grin.

Logan doesn’t dignify that with a response. He scrubs a hand over his face with a sigh.

“Just... put on some damn clothes, bub.”

“Fine.”

Wade—probably in an attempt to piss him the fuck off, as usual—stares at him with a piercing gaze, maintaining eye contact with Logan as he grabs a white t-shirt from the folded pile and slides it on.

Logan just glares at him, jaw clenching tight.

The worst part is that he’s not even mad that Wade’s grabbing shit that he just folded. For some fucking reason, there’s a small but very loud part of Logan deeply satisfied to see Wade in his clothes again. He hasn’t worn anything of Logan’s since trying on the TVA jacket that first day home, but seeing him in one of Logan’s tees is apparently doing something for him.

Wade spins in place, and Logan notices that the hem of the t-shirt barely covers Wade’s crotch, skims the peak of Wade’s pert ass. Once he faces Logan again, he pinches the sides of the shirt like he’s holding a skirt, dipping into a small curtsy.

“Is that better, oh, prudent majesty?” he taunts.

Logan finally snaps.

Before he’s even conscious of it, he’s striding over to where Wade is still staring at him, his expression turning confused though still playful.

“Woah, big boy, I didn’t think you’d be that pissed—”

Logan grabs his face and cuts him off with a kiss, Wade making a surprised noise against his mouth before finally kissing back. Even though Logan is leading, Wade still gives as good as gets, his tongue darting into the cavern of Logan’s mouth when he gasps for air. He’s not sure how long they suck face for, but when Logan finally pulls away, a satisfied noise rumbles through his chest at Wade’s stunned but amused face.

“Finally got you to shut up,” Logan teases, words coming out shallow and thin.

“Oh, it’ll take a lot more than that, old man,” Wade quips back, and another purr builds in Logan’s chest when he hears the gravel in Wade’s voice. Wade throws his arms over Logan’s shoulders and crashes their lips together again.

Neither of their laundry gets finished for a long while after that, both of them too caught up in seeking pleasure from each other. Most of Logan’s freshly laundered clothes lie wrinkled on the bed for hours until he remembers to put them away. Wade doesn’t even start on his own laundry until Logan tells him that Althea would definitely kick his ass if he wore her stuff.

But he continues wearing Logan’s shirt until his own clothes are finally clean, so Logan can’t complain at all.

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[ Wardrobe Status: Half Complete + A New Suit ]

They’re suiting up for an X-Men mission when Wade snatches the Wolverine cowl before Logan can put it on. He’s still in the middle of zipping up when he spots Wade grabbing it out of the corner of his eye, and he doesn’t even need to turn around to know that the dipshit’s already wearing it.

“Give it back,” he says absentmindedly, buckling in the last straps of his suit.

He turns around and shoots Wade a flat look, correct in his assumption that Wade put it on. Typical Wade, he’s wearing his Deadpool mask underneath the Wolverine cowl.

“How do I look?” Wade asks, voice lilting with anticipation.

He looks like someone threw up primary colours on his head and decided to call it a mask.

“You look like someone threw up primary colours on your head and decided to call it a mask.”

Wade gasps, clearly offended. “Rude!”

Logan rolls his eyes. “Just hand me my fuckin’ cowl, bub.”

“Mmmmm, no.”

He never makes shit easy. Logan can only sigh.

“Wade, we gotta leave for the mission brief,” Logan reminds him. They’re about to leave on time for once, and that never happens. “Gimme my goddamn cowl.”

Wade ignores him, as he often does, sauntering over to Logan with a sway in his hips, and Logan quirks a brow at him. He knows what that walk means, and suddenly heading to the X-Mansion for a mission is becoming the last thing on his mind.

Wade drapes his arms over Logan’s shoulders, and Logan automatically places his hands on Wade’s hips. Even beneath both masks, Logan can tell that Wade is waggling his non-existent eyebrows at him once they’re pressed close together. “Wanna inspect the wind resistance on these blowjob handles yourself, peanut?”

Logan snorts. “No, because I don’t wanna see my own mask sucking my dick.”

“Aww,” Wade whines, and Logan can hear the pout in his voice even if he can’t see it, “you’re no fun!”

“‘Sides,” Logan murmurs in his ear, low and sultry, as he pulls Wade closer, “I like seeing your face when we’re together, bub.”

He moves a hand from Wade’s waist to slightly lift his Deadpool mask at the collar. He then ducks his face into the curve where Wade’s neck meets shoulder, mouthing at the now exposed skin there. He smirks when he feels the catch in Wade’s throat.

“I thought we had to leave for the mission brief?” Wade mocks, but it comes out breathy and very pleased by the turn of events.

Logan hums mischievously, nipping at Wade’s neck. “Don’t give a shit anymore.”

“Cool cool cool,” Wade babbles, body pressing against Logan’s, all hot and eager. “I just—oh, fuck, honey badger—I was just thinking—”

“If yer thinking, then I ain’t doin’ this right,” he grumbles, words starting to slur together because there’s something else he’d much rather be doing with his mouth. The hand he still has on Wade’s waist travels to his crotch. Wade bucks his hips into Logan’s open palm with a husky groan, already half-hard.

“You’re doing everything so, so right,” Wade gasps, hips rutting into his grip. “It’s just—ngh—you better be the one taking off this suit, because I did not spend five whole minutes and half a thing of baby powder squeezing my ass into it just to—oh, shit!—strip it off again.”

With a final lick to his pulse point, Logan pulls away just enough to look at Wade. He smirks at the way Wade is panting, puffs of breath hitting his face in needy bursts despite the fabric covering Wade’s mouth.

“I gotta take off your clothes?” he confirms. Wade nods jerkily. “S’not a problem with me.”

And he drops to his knees, unbuckling Wade’s utility belt to do just that.

They do eventually get to the X-Mansion—just 30 minutes late, and they completely miss the briefing. Colossus looks at both of them in disappointment when he relays the abridged version of the mission objectives while they fly to their destination on the X-Jet. Frankly, Logan only half listens to the giant, completely unapologetic in his lack of focus. Being distracted is well worth it as he mulls over the events of the past hour.

Because Logan discovers that, while he might not get off on seeing his own cowl blowing him, he doesn’t mind when he’s on his knees looking up to see it thrown back in pleasure.

At least as long as Wade’s the one wearing it.

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[ Wardrobe Status: Signature Items Acquired ]

The next time they leave together, it’s to meet Vanessa and Dermot for bowling. Logan’s ready before Wade is, waiting in the living room because apparently how long it takes Wade to decide on an outfit completely depends on how he’s feeling.

Thankfully, today isn’t too awful. He’d only worn the Deadpool mask in the morning because he, quote, “felt like skewered chicken intestines,” and nearly cancelled on bowling altogether. But after an orgasm from Logan and cuddling from Mary Puppins, his mood had turned around.

All of which means that Wade is now in a mad dash pulling an outfit together. Logan knows better than to try and help him or force him to hurry up, so he’s left on the couch quietly grumbling to Mary about how he thinks Wade looks good in basically everything he wears.

He’s proven absolutely right when Wade finally steps out of the bedroom. Logan barely registers the full outfit because he’s completely focused on one item.

“How do I look?” Wade asks with a sly grin, walking over to the mirror to inspect himself. He twirls in front of his reflection while smoothing down the leather of the jacket he’s wearing.

Logan’s jacket.

He’s unable to put words together with the way his brain is currently short-circuiting. He grunts in response anyway, knowing that Wade will keep talking even if he doesn’t reply verbally.

He’s proven right yet again because Wade continues without missing a beat. “You think I should switch styles? Give yours back and get my own? Jackets aren’t really my thing though... Oh! What if I got a cape instead? It’d help for ‘no capes’ AUs to actually shed a cape, huh? Has there ever been a DP with a cape? I don’t remember seeing one when we fought the Corps.”

He hums a contemplative sound as Logan stands up from the couch, making his way over to Wade.

“Maybe I need to test trial this,” he continues to ramble, “maybe I can borrow Cable’s shawl-cape thing!”

Even Logan is surprised when he immediately interrupts Wade’s babbling with a stern: “No.”

Wade’s eyes snap to his, confused by the sudden harshness and increased volume in his tone. He makes a questioning noise and shoots Logan a displeased look.

Remembering that Wade will only ramp up how annoying he is if Logan bosses him around, he shakes his head and tries again. “I mean, just—you can, uh, keep mine.”

He clears his throat, eyes darting away to take in how the jacket fits on Wade. It’s a little loose on him, a little too broad because Logan’s chest is a bit wider than his, but it sits well on his frame nonetheless. After awkwardly patting Wade on the shoulder, Logan’s hand slides to Wade’s bicep, then down to cuff where Logan thumbs at the leather there. His fingers bump Wade’s hand and he feels electrified by the touch.

When their eyes meet again, Logan’s relieved to find Wade’s face as red as his own cheeks feel. He’s not entirely sure who leans in first but their lips meet halfway. The kiss isn’t demanding or dirty, neither of them trying to turn it into something that would lead to sex for once. It’s different from when they usually make out, just soft and lingering, and Wade gasps when Logan’s tongue gently licks at the seam of his lips.

At some point, they wrap their arms around each other, because when they finally part for air Wade’s cupping Logan’s jaw and his hands are on the small of Wade’s back.

He eventually grumbles out, “Keep it, it suits you.”

“Oh.”

It takes a moment for Wade to shake the dazed look off his face, but he recovers by flashing Logan a knowing grin. Logan rolls his eyes fondly.

Of course, the little shit did it on purpose. He should’ve known the moment Wade stepped out with that giant smile.

Afterwards, when they finally meet with Vanessa and Dermot at the bowling alley, Vanessa’s smirk and raised eyebrow are well worth it because Wade keeps the jacket on.

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[ Wardrobe Status: Full Closet ]

Logan’s been gone for almost a month because of an extended X-Men mission. Between stakeouts, recon, strategizing, and actually nabbing the bad guy, it’s the longest he’s been away since Wade and Althea’s apartment became his home.

He walks in and unceremoniously dumps his duffle bag and the rest of shit by his shoes, throwing his keys on the sidetable by the door. Despite it being well into the afternoon, the apartment is surprisingly quiet. He figures Althea is out for “bingo” (likely a coke exchange) but Wade and Mary Puppins’ lack of noise makes him suspicious.

Until he hears the snoring.

He pads over to the pull-out bed to find Wade and Mary napping together. Wade’s curled around her, snoring with his face buried in her very sparse amount of fur, and Mary’s tongue sticks out as she huffs out quiet, little snuffles of her own.

But what catches Logan’s attention is Wade wearing one of his flannels.

It’s one of the thickest he owns, made for colder weather and blistery autumn breezes, a dusty yellow and blue with snap buttons. It’s large on him—like everything else Logan owns whenever Wade wears his clothes—but this particular flannel is loose on Logan, so the fabric almost drowns Wade in a pattern of faded checks.

And like every time the moron steals his crap to wear, Logan’s stomach flips in a way he can no longer ignore.

He’s not sure if they’re exclusive or not. They fall into bed together as easily as they fight side-by-side on missions. But it’s impossible for Logan to tell if Wade is serious about half the flirtations streaming out of his mouth when the idiot’s easy affection gets directed at anyone that looks at him twice.

And as much as he’s loathe to admit it, Logan wants so much more than that. He wants Wade’s lingering looks to mean something other than platonic nothings. He wants the softer kisses they share to be more than a break from sex. He wants Wade to need him the way Logan needs him. Hell, he wants Wade to annoy him in ways that Wade would never bother anyone else, because at least then Logan would know that he means something different to the motherfucker, something more than a roommate he hooks up with.

He wants just Wade, all of him, full stop.

He gingerly sits on the mattress, trying not to jostle the two napping Deadpools too much with his weight, and he reaches over to gently stroke Wade’s cheek with a thumb. Feeling emboldened when Wade doesn’t stir, he leans down to press his lips onto Wade’s forehead.

“Well, g’morning to y’too, honey badger,” Wade slurs at him, voice thick with sleep.

Logan abruptly jerks away, eyes wide, and the movement is enough to jostle Mary Puppins from her slumber. She hops off to nap in her own bed after a grumpy growl, leaving Wade alone on the mattress. He attempts to swallow the sudden lump in his throat before clearing it with a cough.

“S’four in the afternoon,” Logan mumbles. Pinching his lips into a flat line, he awkwardly sits next to Wade rustling around in the sheets. His eyes catch the flannel falling open to reveal that Wade is also wearing one of his tank tops.

Logan takes a deep, stuttering breath.

Eyes still closed, Wade blindly flaps his hand around until finding purchase on Logan’s shirt. He tugs Logan back down, and Logan curls over to kiss him softly.

“Welcome home, peanut,” Wade breathes onto his lips. “Missed you.”

He touches his nose to Wade’s. “Missed ya too, bub.”

Wade’s face splits into a slow, easy grin, pulling Logan into laying down. Logan follows him without a thought, gathering Wade into his arms.

“You’re wearin’ my clothes again,” he whispers.

Wade hums, nuzzling into his chest. “S’cold, and it smells like you.”

A pleased purr escapes Logan before he has a chance to stop it, and Wade giggles at him, kissing his collarbone before falling right back to sleep.

They don’t talk about what they are after that, but it’s at that moment when Logan finally realizes that maybe, somehow, Wade feels the same way about him too.

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[ Wardrobe Status: Wearing Wade’s Clothes (Again) ]

The TVA brings them in because they need help with some lady going after Deadpool variants. It would be a fruitless endeavour since Deadpools can’t die (well, except Nicepool) if it weren’t for the fact that the fucker apparently stole a weapon that disintegrates things to oblivion.

“Shouldn’t the law of physics stop that from happening?” Wade asks, gesturing at the screen when B-15 presents the mission to them. “‘Matter can’t be created or destroyed’ or something like that?”

“That’s energy, idiot,” Logan corrects him.

Wade just shrugs. “Hey, don’t blame me for failing physics twice!”

He turns to Wade with a confused grimace. “Who else would I blame then?”

“The teachers, duh!”

“Anyway,” B-15 interrupts, hitting a button to show another slide, “this variant’s got a fascination for destroying the indestructible, but she’s going after Deadpools because she has tritanopia, or blue-yellow colour blindness. She can see shades of red the easiest, hence, sticking with Deadpools as her target.”

“That’s so stupid,” Wade says and Logan can only agree. “There are, like, dozens immortal superheroes in red and she chooses li’l ole me? Seems like the writer copping out of coming up with a better plot, I-M-O.”

“We also believe Mary was double-crossed by the Deadpool in her timeline, giving further motive to go after his variants.”

“Hmph! Now isn’t that just convenient?” He crosses his arms. “Wait, ‘Mary’?”

“Yes.” B-15 shows another slide, this one a close-up of the woman—Mary’s—face. “She’s a Typhoid Mary variant. Have either of you encountered her before?”

“Not in my world,” Logan answers.

“I admittedly did not keep up with Netflix’s Daredevil long enough to meet Bloody Mary, no,” Wade says.

B-15 presents them with further details: Typhoid Mary’s known abilities and weaknesses; how she has dissociative identity disorder on top of her colour blindness; how she managed to acquire the worst weapon available from the arms dealers she was supposed to take down; how her alter apparently took over and decided to go after invincible mutants until she finally got even with her world’s Deadpool. The TVA did try to intervene, but she ended up killing every agent that went after her before stealing one of their TemPads and consequently going on her multiversal manhunt. B-15 makes it absolutely clear how imperative it is that they do not kill Mary or destroy the weapon so the TVA can keep them both under tabs.

Then, she reveals the TVA’s plan to capture her: They want Logan to pose as a Deadpool variant in the timeline they believe she’s going to strike next. Typhoid Mary’s current M.O. doesn’t account for superstrength so he should be able to break out of anything she traps him in. Meanwhile, Wade will be in the shadows, using a tranquillizer gun to incapacitate her once she’s busy with Logan.

Logan groans internally while Wade claps his hands in delight.

“Ooh!” he practically squeals, patting Logan on the shoulder with unrestrained excitement. “Finally, it’s my turn on the other side of this trope!”

B-15 shakes her head and sends them on their way.

The suit the TVA provides him fits perfectly, and he notes Wade’s heated, lingering gaze on him once he steps out of the dressing room. Luckily, another agent gets them through a portal before Wade starts on a tirade that would no doubt be filled with inappropriate innuendoes about Logan.

The mission is executed almost laughably easy. Typhoid Mary’s telekinetic and telepathic abilities are so low-level Logan’s shocked that the others she went after were able to be taken down so quickly.

(“Plot armour, peanut,” Wade said when Logan had asked B-15 about this. “She needed to last long enough to meet us!” As usual, Logan had chosen to ignore him.)

Like the TVA discovered, she lures Deadpools by spreading rumours he can’t ignore, adding a honeypot stash filled with weapons he loves. Geared up in Wade’s suit, Logan “falls” for her trap: entering an abandoned warehouse meant to shelter an upcoming gang targeting Deadpool, but secretly only houses her. Once Logan finds the crate of weapons meant to entice Wade, Typhoid Mary wastes no time in capturing him. She points a giant ray-gun of sorts at his face after wrapping him in the warehouse’s chains with her telekinesis.

He feels the faintest compulsion to stay still, which is probably her telepathy trying to subdue him. But she’s nowhere near the level of other telepaths Logan’s encountered, like Jean or Cassandra Nova, and the compulsion is easy to ignore. The chains are slightly harder to deal with in comparison, but he’s certain he can get out of them without too much trouble. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Wade moving into place.

During Logan’s silent assessment of the situation, Typhoid Mary apparently began monologuing. He doesn’t let her get a chance to finish though, breaking out of the bonds around his torso with sheer force and grunting at the exertion. He slices the chains around his ankles with his claws, the metal cutting like butter against the adamantium.

“What?!” she screams. “A Wolverine-Deadpool variant? How?!”

Logan doesn’t even open his mouth for a reply because Wade shoots a tranq dart in her neck. She falls to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.

“Wooh! No scope oneshot K/O, baby!” he hollers, skipping over to pick up the weapon Typhoid Mary dropped. “God, I’d love to take this home with us,” he bemoans as he assesses it, “I can finally stick it to Cable and show off my own badass, futuristic gun!”

“That won’t be necessary,” B-15 announces, suddenly next to them. A group of armed TVA agents begin to file in from the portal behind her, a few of them attempting to grab the weapon from Wade while others lift Typhoid Mary away for custody.

The aftermath of the mission would be just as easy if isn’t for Wade bitching about giving up the gun. After B-15 debriefs them, she and Logan spend entirely too long demanding that Wade hand it to her.

“I’ll give it back if we can keep this suit for pookie here,” Wade eventually offers, pointing at Logan.

“What?” Logan asks. The suit’s not bad but he has no reason to wear it again once he takes it off. “Why—?”

“Deal,” B-15 immediately agrees.

Wade begrudgingly relinquishes the gun, giving it a flying kiss goodbye before taking Logan’s hand. B-15 opens a portal to their apartment and guides them through. “Thanks for the help, gentlemen!” she says, waving a hand at them. They both wave back, and the portal closes.

Logan looks down at the Deadpool suit he’s still wearing. “Why the hell did you want—mmph!”

His lips are suddenly bombarded with hot kisses, and he growls when Wade opens his mouth his tongue. He didn’t even notice that Wade took off his mask.

“God, you look so fucking good in my colours,” Wade moans, hands roaming all over Logan’s body. “Is this how you feel whenever I wear your things?” Logan makes a noise of assent, too busy mouthing at Wade’s jaw to give a proper answer. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

Logan starts moving them towards the bed—Christ, he hopes Althea is gone because there’s no way he’s stopping what Wade’s started. His cock is already taking interest, and only gets harder when Logan bumps his hips into Wade’s. They tumble onto the pull-out in a feverish heat with Logan straddling Wade’s thighs.

He’s licking at Wade’s pulse when the dumbass gasps, “Oh my god, I’m gonna fuck a variant of myself.”

Used to Wade’s non-stop yammering even during sex, Logan mindlessly replies, “‘S still me, bub, I ain’t a variant of you.” Foolishly, he adds, “Besides, that’d be weird.”

“What? Why?”

With Wade groping his ass, Logan actually has to pause getting his hands under Wade’s suit to think about an answer.

He finally lands on: “It’d be like fucking your own clone.”

Wade actually stops everything he’s doing—hands no longer kneading his cheeks, mouth pulling away from him. Logan groans, knowing his brought this on himself, and dips his forehead to rest on Wade’s shoulder.

“What? You wouldn’t?”

“No, because that’s weird.”

“I’d fuck my clone.”

“Course you would.”

“T-B-H, I’m so pro-clone fucking I’d just have an orgy with all of them. Who’d be better to fuck me than me, right?”

This, by far, is one of—if not the—stupidest conversation Logan’s ever had with a person. Somehow, his dick doesn’t flag, and he’s still irrevocably fond of Wade’s random chatter. He kisses Wade before he can start on another tangent, cupping his perfect idiot’s face softly.

“Shut the fuck up,” he says, but knowing the smile he’s got on, Wade isn’t going to listen to him.

Wade’s answering smirk is a challenge. “Make me, peanut.”

——————————————

(More notes on Ao3.)

[greensimp]

Gyutaro x Reader:

He nearly kills you. Regrets it immediately.

______________________________________________________________

Canon!Gyutaro x gn!Reader

WC: 1.9k

Warnings: violence, angst, threats of violence, vulgar language

______________________________________________________________

You scoff and glare up at your partner with annoyance.

“Gyutaro, it’s not a big deal!”

The demon you’re arguing with stands above you, a frustrated scowl painting his features. Bringing a hand up to the side of his face, he growled and began scratching at himself.

“Yes it is, damnit! Do you realize how fucking dangerous that was?! What if I wasn’t around to get you away from there?!”

You balled your fists and stomped your foot childishly, indignation evident in your stance.

“I didn’t need your help! I was fine on my own! I’ve survived on my own a lot longer that I’ve had you around!”

Anger bubbled up in Gyutaro’s chest at your infuriating naivety. This wasn’t some stroll you took a little way outside of Yoshiwara. The little stunt you pulled tonight could have ended your life.

What did you do?

You left his territory entirely. The only reason he knew about it was because he spotted you speaking to an unfamiliar man from the shadows hours before. It wasn’t unlike you to socialize with strangers, but Gyutaro knew from the start that something about him wasn’t “genuine.”

So he stalked you. He stalked you until that man led you so far away from the Kyogoku house that only the quiet noises of the forest could be heard.

What the hell were you thinking?

If it wasn’t obvious before, it was now. This lowly demon was luring you to his feeding grounds. Gyutaro could read the overzealous and smug confidence all over the worm’s face. Despite smelling him and Daki’s scent, he thought he could pick off a couple humans for himself.

Unfortunately for this little bug, he couldn’t have chosen a worse human to prey upon.

When it was apparent that the demon was about to make its move, it turned around and froze, practically pissing himself as the kanji-filled eyes of Upper Moon Six bored down upon him from behind the human he lured. You were confused at first before turning around to see what he was so scared of.

Oh.

“Goin’ somewhere? Y’know, its rude to be taking off with other people’s things, cretin.”

The pathetic demon tried to shake his hands in front of him and scurry away.

“I-I’m so s-sorry sir, I d-didn’t know this one w-was y-“

He couldn’t even finish his sentence before a hand wrapped itself around his mouth and jaw, crushing it in painfully.

“I don’t recall asking for your pathetic apology, whelp.”

Neither you or the demon saw Gyutaro move. It was like he was behind you one moment, then crushing the demon’s face the next.

He was pissed. Blindingly so.

You winced as a disgusting cracking sound reverberated through the forest. Gyutaro had drove the demon’s head so far into the ground that it made a crater. It wouldn’t be regenerating from that by sunrise.

Your legs felt weak as you stared at the blood. Then, Gyutaro rose to his feet and turned to you, his normal scowl now clearly on edge and splattered with blood.

“We’re going home. Now.”

…

You may have survived all this time, but you also had your beauty and luck on your side. Gyutaro had neither. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t born yesterday. You’re too comfortable with the knowledge of demons existing. You’re not cautious enough.

The room became deadly silent.

His scratching and growling ceased, with the only sounds being the ever-hastening blood rushing through your ears.

Your nerves were on edge, Gyutaro’s sudden silence freaking you out more than his display of anger earlier.

“Gyutaro…?”

He didn’t reply right away, only slowly and deliberately lowering his arm to his side.

You furrowed your brows and huffed.

“Oh, so now I’m getting the silent treatment?”

You were about to continue provoking him until you saw the veins and flesh under the skin of his forearms begin to writhe and pulse. You took a step back, now suddenly nervous.

“H-hey, what’re you doing?”

“I don’t think you understand how much danger you’re in right now.”

Two growths began emerging from Gyutaro’s hands.

“W-what do you mean?!”

Another step back, but this time, Gyutaro mirrored you with a step forward.

“You think this a world where you can just walk around and trust anyone you meet? There are things out there. Things much scarier than me. And you think you can just throw yourself out there for them to take you from me?”

The writhing flesh in his hands now took the distinct shape of... sickles?

The weight of the situation now dawned on you. Your eyes slowly widened in raw fear as he took another firm step your way. Your breath faltered, your fight or flight response automatically causing you to freeze, despite wanting to run.

His vision was blurred with rage, he didn’t care that you were terrified of him in that moment. The only thing going through his mind was that he needed to instill the fear of demons in you that you needed. You needed to know that things like him are hiding a side of themselves that only doomed humans ever get to see.

He loves you too much to let you die.

You finally gained control of your legs (barely). Of course, the second you tried to stumble backwards, you slipped and fell straight on your ass. Still, you desperately scoot yourself back, whimpering and breathing heavily as he menacingly stepped closer to you.

“I-I’m sorry Gyu! P-please don’t hurt me!”

Your pleas didn’t get though to him. He was in fight mode. His only instinct being to protect the people he loves. It just so happened that his instincts were being a bit counterproductive.

You squeaked when your back hit the wall.

Your pupils dilated and tears fell from your eyes. You barely recognized the monster in front of you. It was like the gentle giant you fell in love with traded bodies with a pure evil.

Whatever point he wanted to get across to you, it worked.

Oh. It worked.

A razor sharp point prodded at you under your chin tauntingly. A sickening, wretched giggle came from his throat.

You felt your heart jump in your throat as you stared death in the eyes.

“Do you understand, now? Do you fear, death? I bet you do, love.”

Laughter followed his taunts as he pressed the blade deeper.

“BROTHER! WHAT’RE YOU DOING?!”

A feminine voice practically screeched from the doorway.

As if someone flipped a switch, Gyutaro’s tunnel vision cleared. The fog of anger and spite dissipated into painful clarity.

His sickening grin fell instantly, confusion flooding his mind as to why you were looking at him like a cornered animal.

Then, his stomach practically dropped to the floor when he realized what he was holding to your throat.

He jerked his sickle back and trembled, his eyes widening in horror at what he’d done to you.

If he had broken your skin… it would have certainly cut your life short. The poison that laces his blades is thousands of times more potent than the deadliest snakes of the world.

You brought a hand to your throat and sobbed, falling to your side.

He just stared at his sickle and shook, stepping away from you.

He didn’t even notice Daki darting past him to get to you.

“Why did you do that, brother?!”

His eyes snapped to his sister’s scathing glare.

“I-I-“

Another step back.

He almost killed you.

He’s pathetic.

He’s worthless.

He doesn’t deserve you.

You’re scared of him now.

You got what you wanted, Gyutaro. Now they’re scared of you.

Now they hate you.

Before Daki could yell at him again, he darted out of the room.

…

Even Daki couldn’t find Gyutaro for hours. She’s never seen her brother shaken up this bad and she had no idea what to do. When you told what happened, she sort of flipped at your stupidity, too. Although not as… murder-y. She understood why Gyutaro would be cross with you, but she was still surprised that he’s go so far as to traumatize you. She knew better than anyone that he’d never even dream of killing you.

She brought you some food and water before setting out into the night to find Gyutaro again, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Now that you’d calmed down, the hurt finally sunk in. Why would he do this? Did he really love you? If Daki hadn’t interrupted… would he have truly done it.

His maniacal laughter played in your mind like a broken record, causing you to cringe and shiver. The mouth that had uttered such sweet words to you… used to taunt you. To make you feel like prey.

A small creak in the doorway caused you to jump in your skin. You were still very on edge.

And the figure in it did not help to calm you.

Gyutaro’s face was shrouded in shadow, his mouth in a pursed frown.

The air grew thick with tension as he just stood there.

Then, he took a small step in, which had you involuntarily jump backwards in fear.

Your reaction to his presence made his chest feel tight. Guilt practically strangled him by the neck. He wanted you to be afraid of demons… not him.

But he is a demon.

A pathetic, filthy demon.

When he took another step into the room, something caught your eye that made your breath hitch.

In the light of the oil lamps in your room, a faint sheen of wetness trailed down Gyutaro’s cheek.

Was…

Was he crying?

You’d never seen him so much as sniffle, let alone cry.

You finally feel the guilt oozing from him, your stomach sinking.

Before you could speak, he collapsed to his knees and stared at you through misty eyes. You noticed a slight tremble in them.

“I- I’m so sorry-“

He’s pathetic.

He took a deep, shaky breath and let out the most sorrowful wail you’ve ever heard from a creature. He hunched over, bringing his hands to the sides of face and digging his nails into the skin.

“FORGIVE ME”

Pathetic. Worthless.

You just stared in complete awe at the heaving man in front of you. The display of vulnerability had your heart in a vice grip, whatever apprehension you held for Gyutaro fleeing your conscious like a gust of wind.

He was a broken man.

He was at your mercy.

He was groveling to you.

A pair of arms squeezing his head paused his crying. The warmth of your embrace came as an utter shock.

“I understand, Gyutaro. And… I do fear death.”

You echoed his words from earlier in a wobbly tone.

You fluttered your eyes shut and squeezed him to your chest.

“I’m scared of demons. That much is true.”

A single tear fell from your eye and you hiccuped.

“But…”

Memories of Gyutaro holding you in his arms during a firework display, memories him lovingly petting your hair as you snuggle into him, memories of him making love to you, all flowed through your head.

What you saw earlier wasn’t your Gyutaro.

“I could never stay afraid of you.”

Gyutaro’s breath hitched as your words pierced his heart.

He really didn’t deserve you.

Here you are, just forgiving him after he tried to kill you only hours before.

He sobbed and squeezed his eyes shut before wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his head into your stomach.

He didn’t deserve you.

He didn’t deserve you.

But somehow…

He still has you.

And he’s never letting go.

[slackerlifewhere]

Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo

After I posted yesterday, I saw an opinion that I kind of agree with about the difference between Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo.

I'm gonna say my opinion without trying to offend the whole fandom. Again, you can read fics about OG Cale as MC. I will not stop you just because I have my own opinion. You are free to read whatever you want. If you don't agree with this, it's fine and if you do, don't antagonize or attack the fanfiction authors who made these fics. Let them do their own thing, okay?

This post is not a rant but me sharing my own thoughts and opinions about this topic.

To make this easier, I'll call OG Cale as Cale and OG KRS as KRS.

[✋SPOILERS for the first part of the novel✋]

Some say that Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo are the same person. While I don't know if this is true because I haven't read the second part of the novel yet, in my opinion, they are not the same.

Again, I repeat, I like Cale Henituse. He's very intelligent and kind to Basen to the point of destroying his own reputation, he targets thugs and scammers whenever he's "drunk", he's willing to sacrifice his whole identity in order to save his world after surviving for twenty years by himself. He's a complex character and in another world, if given the chance, he would've been a great MC.

But that's the thing, he is not the MC of TCF, Kim Rok Soo is. And I think some fans forget the reason why Kim Rok Soo became the MC and not Cale Henituse. Because in some fics that I see whenever I scroll down to look for something to read, Cale completely replaces KRS' presence in the story, to the point that he doesn't exist anymore.

Let me explain.

Kim Rok Soo

Kim Rok Soo is a very integral part of the story. You can't easily replace him with another person, normal or otherwise, and expect the story to go the same way it did in the novel. He did things his way because he's a chaotic little shit. He's a different person from Cale, no matter how many or few similarities they both have.

It's not because he's simply smart or OP (as some would say) that he won a war that ended in only two years, but it's also because of his past and the bonds he made as himself.

He's a person full of empathy for these people that he meets wherever he goes, regardless whether he knows them from a book or not, because he understands them and their pain. He does not hide his personality and in a way, his charisma attracts these people who see him for who he is, a kind person.

Kim Rok Soo is different because he survived in an apocalypse by himself until he meets Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo. Plus, he did not have a great childhood. He was abused and lived by himself for the rest of his childhood and teenage years because of a curse (or maybe because his uncle is just a shitty person, who knows).

The opinions he has and the way he thinks are shaped by his own experiences. He is the Kim Rok Soo we see in the novel because he grew up under these circumstances.

To say that he's easily replaceable would be too disrespectful to the sacrifices he made as both Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse.

Cale Henituse

Cale, on the other hand, is different. He lived alone for how many years because he deliberately pushed everyone away because of his grief and after what Jour told him. It's not because of a curse that he became this way but because he chose to.

Yes, everyone he knows should've tried to make an effort by comforting him or talking with him (his family, the nobles he's close to, Ron and Beacrox) but that did not happen because he's the one who chose to live like this. I've mentioned it in my post about Deruth but if a person doesn't want comfort or doesn't want to talk, they will not talk, especially someone as stubborn as Cale. To blame all these people (including the kids) and the rest of the world because of his own choice is simply not right or fair since the only one responsible to actually help him is Deruth. Violan is not given this chance nor did she try as his stepmother but it all comes down to Deruth. But of course, he did not get any help nor did he seek any.

He lived his years shrouded in grief until the very end. He's a kind person but unfortunately, life is not kind to him.

Later, he survives in the war until the White Star kills him. What did he choose to do in the end when he made that deal with the God of Death? To return to the past so he can save everyone? No. Instead, he chose to go to KRS' world to find his mother. If CJS were given the chance to decline a proposal, why didn't Cale? He could've said he'll do it himself but instead, he left it to KRS. We all know he's stubborn enough to ruin his reputation, is he not stubborn enough to make a deal to save his world as himself?

You can argue it's maybe because the God of Death didn't give him the chance to argue with it but there are other ways the god could've sent KRS to this world. Like Choi Han or Choi Jung Soo.

Choi Jung Soo

Choi Jung Soo is a prime example of what could've and couldn't have happened if he agreed with the God of Death's proposal. He is not KRS. He has his own opinions and experiences that make him unique. He is not like Choi Han who drowned in his despair in TBoaH but instead, is a man who wants to survive with his friends (brothers) and smile with them despite the pain he suffers in.

If he were to replace KRS, the story would've gone differently. He might find Choi Han and they would do their best to survive in this new world together. He may or may not find Raon and the kittens, depending on the time and location when he arrives in this world. Alberu may or may not completely trust him like how he didn't completely trust Choi Han in TBoaH because unlike KRS who is too similar with Alberu, CJS is different. He might not look for the ancient powers since he has his own ability, leaving some that the White Star could've taken like the Sky Eating Water and Super Rock. In fact, the shield could've been left at the tree unless CJS knows about it and takes it. (Let me remind you that no one in this world knows there's an ancient power in that tree in the Henituse territory.)

I can list down things he could've or couldn't have done but it might be too long.

But my point is, it could've been Cale, Alberu, or Choi Han who were sent to the past but the story would've gone differently because these people are all different in their own ways. Heck, if the God of Death truly wants to save this world, he could've sent back Choi Han or Alberu instead of Cale. Because these two are also powerful in their own ways that do not need the help of ancient powers. Just give them enough information and they could've ended the war faster than twenty years.

Conclusion

So, yeah. Kim Rok Soo became the main character for several reasons. He was an ability user and team leader back in his world, he has the curse attached to him because of the White Star, he was an abused kid who had a sad childhood.

And I think there are other reasons why, if KRS is not the MC, that the story could've ended differently. Put aside Raon who is powerful and has a connection to Sheritt and the Dragon Slayers and would be integral to the story, On and Hong could've died with no one knowing about them because they were barely mentioned in the books. Mary could've stayed in the City of Life because no one would need her to help Ron. Hannah and Jack could've died because no one would've known that they were killed. Paseton has a chance to live but no one knows where he is.

Some characters would live and some would die if Kim Rok Soo is not the main character. That's basically what I think about all of this.

The reason why they survived, aside from the books, is because Kim Rok Soo's heart is so big that he wants to help people or give them the chance to survive. Some people would ignore or not notice these people because they have their own problems to deal with.

But Kim Rok Soo just wants to live. And I think that's why the story went the way it did.

Kim Rok Soo, the man who became Cale. His life motto was pretty simple.

Living long without pain. Enjoying the small joys of life.

Living a peaceful life.

- Chapter 2: When I Opened My Eyes

Again, I'm not stopping you from reading these fics nor am I telling you to attack fanfic authors because of what they write. This whole post is just me sharing my opinion.

You don't have to agree with anything I said. You can ignore this and read whatever you want to read.

This is not a post undermining or disrespecting what Cale sacrificed and felt as a person. This is a post to share my opinion that Cale and Kim Rok Soo both deserve the respect that they should get for everything they did and to not completely erase a character for the other. But if someone does it, then I can't do anything about it.

As a Mob Psycho 100 fan, I will end this with one line that perfectly summarizes what I think about this topic.

Your life is your own.

[alpaca-clouds]

So, You Wanna Write A Solarpunk Thriller

Based on the blog I wrote yesterday about conflict in Solarpunk stories and how people either don't understand how stories work, have never read a book, or plainly act more dumb than they are. Because, yes, you can in fact tell almost any sort of story in a Solarpunk work - without resorting (like, sadly, way too many writers do) to "Actually the utopia is a lie and Solent Green is people!"

Meaning: If you need a "dark secret in society" to have a conflict in your story, you have a skill issue.

But let's talk about the genre that usually comes with those kinda dark secrets. While not necessary for the genre per se, it is a common trope here. Thrillers.

Ironically we all have some picture in our heads what a thriller might be - even though it might be one of the most loosely defined literary genre. Though probably we will think first of some movies.

The top 10 thriller movies according to this list on IMDB, the top ten thrillers are:

Seven (Police/Crime)

Silence of the Lambs (Police/Crime)

Shutter Island (Psychological)

The Sixth Sense (Supernatural)

Zodiac (Police/Crime)

Inception (Crime)

North by Northwest (Spy)

Identity (Psychological/Crime)

The Game (Financial)

The Prestige (Psychological/Crime)

Something you will note to your surprise: None of those actually feature a central conflict based on the society having a dark secret. In fact half of them are basically just Mystery movies with higher stakes (which is what turns them from mystery/crime drama to thrillers).

In fact I would argue that at least half of those movie plots could be rewritten fairly easily to take place in a Solarpunk world without any problem. Like, sure, The Game would not work, because this story very much is build around capitalism existing. And one could argue how those stories, where the main character is a cop need to be changed (because I know that my vision of a solarpunk does not involve cops).

In fact, going through the list of those 50 movies in total, I count a total of 6 movies in which a government conspiracy is part of the central conflict. Out of those 6 movies 4 are Cyberpunk.

Generally speaking, there is a variety of concepts for thrillers. There is the police/crime thrillers, but others as well. Wikipedia lists those kinds of thrillers:

The legal thriller, spy thriller, action-adventure thriller, medical thriller, police thriller, romantic thriller, historical thriller, political thriller, religious thriller, high-tech thriller, military thriller.

And I might add, I am very much missing the psychological thriller in there.

So, what am I saying here?

Basically: All you need to write a thriller is high enough stakes. In the end, a good thriller works by the stakes being high (though what means "high" might also vary from subgenre to subgenre), and by the readers or watchers understanding the stakes well.

So, that said, let me go through the kinds of thriller we have named above and name one example each for how the story could be made solarpunk.

Legal Thriller: The easy example here would be the fight for a Solarpunk world. Either pre-Solarpunk and a group of environmentalists is taking a big company to court for what they did against the environment. Or in a Solarpunk future I could also see some former rich folks trying to bring down the Solarpunk society by trying to find loopholes in the legal system - and a group of lawyers fighting against it.

Spy Thriller: This one will depend a lot on how you construct a Solarpunk future. The easy answer here is a world in which not all of the world is solarpunk - and we basically have a cold war happening between the solarpunk state and the old world state. Works out fine.

Action-Adventure Thriller: A good chunk of the movies in these genre feature natural catastrophes. So... Uhm... An earthquake will still happen in a Solarpunk world - and people try to survive. Easy. Next?

Medical Thriller: Another easy one. There is a break out of a new pandemic. People work hard to prevent further spread. Bonus points: Here we can actually use the setting to show the advantages and the shortcomings of a Solarpunk society, that is an anarchic and socialist/communist society.

Crime Thriller: (I will say, no police, because I do not believe in Cops in Solarpunk.) Again, even though it is to be assumed that crime will go back a lot if we create an equal society, there will still be some people who will kill. And there might still be a serial killer. And there will be those, who will try to capture that serial killer. Again. Easy.

Romantic Thriller: Okay, let's face it. The romantic thriller is so watered down by now that it is "a thriller that also has a strong romantic subplot" for most of the part - rather than the romance being the source of the trilling elements. But for the sense of saying the actual "romance turning into a thriller"... Let's be honest. Even if we had a Solarpunk world in which polyamory was the norm, there would be still crimes of passion - and just plainly abusive partners. So, here my prompt: One partner in a polycule goes to a mental crisis. In the attempt to protect them, the polycule gets drawn more and more to violence.

Historical Thriller: Uhm, okay, I will leave this one out because historical and scifi setting do not quite gel xD

Political Thriller: We have a more anarchic world, but there are still some people who hold more influence, because old habits die hard. Some of them try to use political tools to get the world to revert into the old ways, just to gain more power for themselves.

Religious Thriller: Let's face it. This genre is often very close to horror. But to go with the non-supernatural way... No, I do not believe in forbidding religion in a Solarpunk future. However, there is the issue that religion will always make it easier for cults to form. So, this is the story of a young man who gets into the claws of a religious cult - but only realizes too late what he got into.

High-Tech Thriller: (Translate: SciFi Thriller) Alien, but Solarpunk. The only difference: There are in fact people trying to help. They just fail to do so.

Military Thriller: Like the spy thriller - but instead of cold war it is open war.

Psychological Thriller: I am going here with a parent who gaslights their adult child, while the adult child tries to differentiate reality from the fiction presented by said parent.

So, why did I do this?

Basically just to show you: If you really think the only story you can tell as a Solarpunk author is how the Solarpunk utopia is in fact an illusion made to paint over a corrupt system, then it is very much a skill issue. You just are not very good at telling stories.

Thankfully there is a cure for that: Consume more stories. Watch movies. Read books (or listen to audiobooks). Read comics. Watch shows. Just consume more media.

[mrinafria]

The thought that you exist is so divinely blissful in itself that it is ridiculous to talk about the everyday sadness of separation...what does it matter? since my whole life belongs to you (LtV) I'm cooking up a theory/scenario on OG Seon Jae's death in the OG 2023 timeline and plan to post that soon-ish, but before that. I genuinely think the universe keeps doing this on purpose by flooding me with OG Seon Jae posts every time I decide not to think about him anymore. I've seen at least four posts on him since yesterday. What sorcery is this.

We know he didn't jump off the balcony,

but the fact that he was sure he was going to retire after this.

the fact that he considered their comeback stage his last stage ever.

And that it truly was, unbeknownst to him. His absolute last stage. His absolute last performance.

the fact that Sonagi wasn't even on the concert setlist but he performed it, as if as a final tribute, an homage to his love, to her.

[look at his veins?? his eyes?? the way he is this close to screaming and falling apart? the way his face contorts as if in sheer pain and anguish and hurt??]

Every time I look at that face, that BROKEN BOY who thought it was ALL his fault. The boy who had mustered up the courage to finally interact with the girl he's liked over a smile, an umbrella and a candy, only to cause her her biggest grief in life. The boy who knew his love would eternally be unrequited because he would never dare to appear before her as a figment of her traumatizing past that he was to be blamed for (he wasn't but who will tell him that).

He knows all he has of her is his memory of that smile, the candy and that umbrella.

He knows he doesn't exist for her. Not in the sense he desperately wishes he would.

Which is perhaps why he later finds it "funny" that Im Sol is such a dedicated fan of him as an idol. Her cherishing him, supporting him, loving him.

But not loving him the way his heart desperately longed for her to love him.

It was fine. He didn't deserve to be forgiven and be loved by her. He wasn't that fortunate. He couldn't dare to dream such an impossible dream.

Even if OG Seon Jae had managed to survive and retire after this concert, you bet he'd still keep singing Sonagi on his own time and again if not everyday. Anything that lets him take a trip down the memory lane, because this boy breathed Im Sol's memory her smile her light as if it were air.

The reason this song still remains my ultimate favorite out of them all is not just because Woo Seok's singing here is phenomenal, or because the lyrics and the composition make my heart ache in the most beautifully painful way possible, but because it is not just a song. It's a story, a tale of a boy who fell in love with a girl for the smile she brought to his life, the kindness she radiated, the love she blossomed in his heart for all eternities. It's a confession--of love, of regret, of guilt. It's a plea hidden in a melody.

[strong-with-the-sarcasm]

Part 3 - If you could’ve seen

Dp x DC: Regent!Jazz, Vigilante!Jazz

Masterlist Part 2

“If you could’ve seen how I looked yesterday, a hopeless disaster, but I’m getting better at being faster.” -Never Look Back by The Nearly Deads

Jazz wasn't so proud to admit that she had many regrets about her life choices.

Taking the Crown was a fine line between terrifying and glorifying, with the many scars and callouses Jazz now bore from the hours of training (at Pandora's behest) a misgiving that was required for the sake of survival.

Hurting her little brother was the heaviest weight on her chest.

It hadn't been that Jazz meant to cause Danny pain from escaping Amity Park, but he'd already died there once from the portal and almost a second time when her parents the older Fentons captured Phantom in a thermos and strapped him down.

They had crossed a line, the point of no return, and Jazz was done trying to fix her broken family. The moment they cut into Danny while he screamed "I'm alive, I'm alive!" was the renouncement of their right to their own lives.

Jazz had enacted Vengeance for her little brother, the hero in death he shouldn't have had to become. For all the Unquiet Dead and Neverborn ended by the Fentons.

For her lost childhood. For her lost humanity.

Slash, slash, slash went the Regent's sword. Blood spattered the walls of the lab, mixed with the ecto already there from a fight for one's existence.

One slash, two, three Blood is on your hands already. 

Frostbite would later, admist the ice and snow of the Far Frozen, that as a Liminal Jazz had triggered a rage state due to both her emotions and her unintentional ecto-starvation.

It wasn't enough to absorb it from the environment anymore, not with the Crown and summoning her ecto-sword. She would have to consume raw ecto to replenish her levels and diminish the chances of another blackout rage.

(Frostbite and Danny would never know that Jazz was fully aware of her actions.)

(She just didn't care anymore, Danny was more important.)

Danny had healed over the few months they were in Gotham, his incision wound now a grotesque Y-shaped scar over his scrawny chest that would never fade. His ecto-levels were improving with constant exposure to a natural portal, corrupted as it was, and slowly he was gaining back his sense of self.

Jazz didn't talk much anymore, but Danny was all too happy to argue with her- about her ripping him away from his haunt, killing his parents, his friends, and going out as a vigilante almost every night.

(As she had guessed, Danny was relieved that the Joker was dead and not a ghost.)

(He'd never know that Joker had returned as a ghost, but the Regent crushed his core before he could even form words.)

(Both Sam and Danny approved of her trophy though.)

At the other end of Crime Alley, tucked away in a safe house, Jason Todd was dying.

Well, so he thought, as his heart ached in his chest and beat so fast it could almost rip itself from his rib cage.

(If he was a lesser man, he might’ve gone crying to Bruce for help, but not in this life.)

Jason had collapsed on his bed in full gear, sans helmet, as the pain began to wrack his body. Was he truly dying again?

(He wasn’t ready to. Not again.)

And to think his night started so well.

He’d woken up a few minutes before his alarm went off, the hazy dregs of sleep trying to lure him back in, back to the rather nice dream he’d been having.

(Feminine build in bloody armor, a teasing grin, soft lips against his own.)

He didn’t even have patrol that night, his one day off a week he could just relax as Jason, not Jay Peters or Red Hood- only for it to be ruined by the emergency alert on his phone announcing that his murderer had broken free again.

Fucking Joker.

Old familiar rage simmered low in Jason’s gut, but much to his surprise, his vision didn’t tint neon green. No haze of being on the verge of a blackout rage at the mere thought of his murderer.

Nothing.

(What was going on?)

It wasn’t as if the Pit Madness could just be gone, right?

Right?

(Jason Todd was no a fool, the Madness was still there.)

(Just… sedated. Like it didn’t need to boil to the surface anymore where it concerned his murderer.)

And for the first time in a very long while, Jason felt like himself again.

Until the agony began.

A/N:

{I swear I try writing something that’s not angst for once and this is what I get. Great. Well as long as someone likes it, right?}

{Oh and sliding in an AU for Jason too! Not Halfa!Jason, because I’m not a particular fan of how I would write it. But something more akin to what he was when he dug himself out of his grave pre-dip in corrupted Ectoplasm ala League of Assassins.}

[draco-oriens]

Apology and awareness post

As some of you witnessed over the past week, I'm quite in a bad mood. Some of you also know what I'm going through right now. That's no reason for me to act as I do, though, and I'm aware of that. Hence why I'm trying to turn off my phone if I'm simply overstimulated and about to lash out and pop my jaws towards someone.

For those who don't know: Three weeks ago, I got a knee injury - diagnosed as a crucial ligament tear. I can't walk, I'm not allowed to sit for a longer time which doesn't allow me to draw or game, I'm not allowed to "walk" (basically, I'm hopping around with crutches) around for too long and I'm tied to my bed. I'm not even allowed to take a shower or take a bath for safety reasons. So, I - the alligator - is laying on dry land with no positive stimulation for weeks now and more are to come. On the 19th of August, I'll have surgery. And I'm a bit scared of what will happen when I wake up from the anesthesia. What will I tell my family and friends? Will they take it seriously?

In the following continuation of this post, I'll mention alcohol. So please read on your own responsibility.

I know that I can become aggressive when I'm too drunk. If people should provoke me, I'll lash out even physically. Yes, I'm that kind of a drunk gator. Though, I'm also calm and humorous if unprovoked. So what will happen under anesthesia? My worries are big.

I'm also tired of even the smallest things atm. I have to motivate myself to brush my teeth or wash my body with a wet cloth. Nothing seems uplifting atm. I'm not living my life, I'm not even surviving. I'm just existing while doing nothing. I'm done. I'm losing myself in spirals of thoughts. I'm always sinking in my brain, thinking about stuff. But as I'm tied to my bed, I'm losing myself in some unnecessary thoughts. Such as the term discourse I started yesterday (but deleted because after a nap I snapped and realized that this is not what I usually think or talk about... labels are fine but this was not smth that my brain's busy with on the usual).

So, I hope that you understand why I might react a bit differently at the moment and I wanna apologize. As mentioned, I'm trying to close social media if I realize that emotions are coming up and I'm becoming aggravated at smth unnecessary.

[evil-peanut-butter-addict-sam]

Ok idk if this wish be a good one or not bcs I am really not in a good state for past few months and idk what's gonna happen next just few days back while I was already insecure with my life safety yesterday a tragic incident happened Liam Payne just died I, I srsly can't believe it if someone can say that it's fake I will hug them bcs I just lost someone from my childhood someone who would instantly put smile on my face when I was sad insecured vulernable by his songs, someone who would say it's all ok you will be fine just trust me everything is gonna be good someone whom I could cry openly even though the person didn't know my existence but yes I lost them even though I still feel something is wrong like I don't think he accidentally felt off or attempted suicide bcs just before like he was so happy meeting with fans hugged them like just the previous night even just before the news of his death came he putted a post in Snapchat telling how his vacation was going on even though there he was a bit sad. But he was a shinning soul the energised one from the band and also the fact that just 18 months ago they said they would reunion but then this happened I don't wanna see their reunion on his funeral bcs we didn't want this reunion. I still can't believe and I still cry when I see Liam in the music videos of 1D. And yk another thing like I lost many including my family members then like Chester Bennington and then Avicii then Ratan Tata and now Liam like if I see Alex Turner is dead idk what the hell will happen with me bcs the person i looked upto are dying thank God Wilbur survived but yea i did tell this to one of my friend and he said I was being gay like what the heck anyway here is the birthday wish.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMMM!!!!!!! MANNY MANNY HAPPY RETURN OF THE DAY, I HOPE ALL YOUR DREAMS COMES TRUE MAY YOU OVERCOME ALL THE OBSTACLES AND KISS THE ZENITH OF YOUR SUCCESS HAVE A GREAT ONE DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE BCS YOU HAVE OVERCOMED SO MANY STORMS SO TAKE A LOOK BACK TO ALL OF IT TODAY AND BE HAPPY AND PROUD AND LOVE YOURSELF. I WISH YOU A HEALTHY LIFE A HEALTHY HEALTH AND MUCH MORE ENERGY TO SHOW YOUR CREATIVITY TOWARDS THE WORLD, I HOPE THE POTENTIALS YOU HAVE INSIDE OF YOU COMES TO THE LIMELIGHT OF THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR CREATIVITIES. AND MOST IMPORTANT DON'T FORGET TO ENJOY TODAY AND EAT AS MANY FOOD AS YOU WANT TO AND DO THE THINGS YOU LIKE TO!!! SENDING YOU A POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH. KEEP YOUR LOVED ONES VERY CLOSE TO YOU AND STAY SAFE.

And yea just a pic from one of the 1D Fan Page I got i just cried after reading it yet crying while writing all of these if you are 1D do take a look at it at your free time. And sorry for putting this so long thing I i just dk...

And also why did you say me thanks when I said not to pls don't do it bcs I feel like I am disrespecting you and like also not only violating my manners but like making the people I looked upto means my idols my comfort person feel disrespected about myself.

And also if you need any help regarding inspo for your wolf cut or anything do freely tell me bcs I wanna help people in need despite in whatever condition I am in I can't ignore the people who needs help. So tell freely.

*Starts to cry like hell*

yeah, I wasn't a huge fam of 1D but it did hurt hearing about liams death- and I completely agree with everything you say.

Thank you for da birthday wish!!

Idk why I said thank you when you said not to it's just mental memory I guess and you aren't ever disrespecting me!! <3

[I'm still tryna answer the long ask you sent me with the questions I'm nit ignore that!!]

[jodjuya]

Finished my binge of the Animorphs series yesterday.

Did literally nothing all day but read Animorphs. Read from like book 41 through to 54, including the Ellimist Chronicles in the middle, in a single sitting.

A few stinkers in there, but boy howdy the series has runaway momentum once they hit the endgame of the war and I just couldn't stop reading!

Being Australian myself, I'm perturbed by how bogus the Australian book was though.

How the fuck did Cassie's LAX-SYD flight take her out over the middle of the damn country when Sydney is coastal???

Nice smooth curve shows your typical California-to-Australia route, and 'X' marks the spot where Cassie ended up after falling out of the plane:

This would be like if she was on a direct flight from Los Angeles to New York, bailed out of the aircraft when it was like 90% of the way through its flight, and then when she hits the ground she's suddenly actually in Miami.

Book #41 was damn weird too. The one where Jake wakes up as a 25 year old in a future where the yeerks won the war.

That one really feels like its ghostwriter watched "The Matrix", came out of the cinema, and immediately sat down to write their own Animorphs version of that. 😂

I'm currently existing in that post-story haze, where something was consuming my life for weeks and then it's just suddenly over.

I think that haze is especially bad because the Animorphs series doesn't have a 'satisfying' ending. The war was won, but at huge cost and none of our heroes survive intact. Which is a fine enough ending for a war story. War stories don't get to have happy endings.

But then it has that "ram the blade ship!" cliffhanger ending. That's so unsatisfying. Dangit, I just really dislike cliffhanger endings.

[weepingfoxfury]

The man on the radio gave us all a Wednesday wave and worked his musical magic whilst sipping his coffee and dipping a chocolate bar into it. Weatherwise there's a bit of a nip in the air, but there’s still sunshine! I've got my non-existent bikini on under about 5 jumpers … now where did I put the suntan lotion? The traffic lady talked about all sorts of car queues due to The Ploughing, then settled into conversation with the man on the radio and shared his chocolate.

Today’s groaner: Transcripts of radio conversations of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. Divert your course 15 degrees to the South. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. Divert your course NOW. Canadians: Sorry. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call! ;-D badoom tish … here all week!!

Survived yesterday's shiny metropolis visit ... just. Biggest Dog did better and was less bothered by the general overdose of noggin information. Got back to the car and she did a fine job of trying to dig to Australia via the back seat, before settling down for a much needed nap. I'm beginning to think I should try the whole digging thing, see if it's as snooze inducing as it seems to be.

Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday ... condensation all over the window and a large cup of coffee to hand with daydreams of Maya Deren ...

[nugget-gender]

haiii helloooo ^_^ i know we just followed each other yesterday but looking with my big ol eyes. i would love to hear about your ocs :] (Not forcing but just. If you are feeling like it, take this ask as a pass to talk about whatever you have going on with your beasts \o/ )

YOU ARE SO KIND... i will be merciful and. add a cut

OKAY so here im gonna cover what i think of as my Classic Four, so thats Finn, Scarlett, Viktor, Asera. Technically Ruby and Tetra existed long before half of those but i left them unused long enough that they arent quite the same character anymore so they dont count. anyway, the classics are who i used back in lobcorp rp tumblr

Finn Meridian - The little guy. 5 foot nothing. Always ends up with a fucked up arm, almost gregorstyle. Index related traumas. He has a sister, but thats advanced lore past whats required for standard character understanding. L Corp broke him but it put him back together so its fine. This guy gets slapped in QoH ego constantly. Safety Team.

Scarlett / Delta-0 - Autism girlie. She got hired as a clerk due to a filing error. Made her a nugget in ruina after lobcorp clerk delta-0 somehow survived an apocalypse bird suppression(no i dont know how either). hypercompetent but generally has to be taught that shes a person. not important but i like how she looks in the argalia page :]. Records or Disciplinary, if shes an agent or clerk respectively.

Viktor Hect - The Cringefail. Very large knowledge base, often argues with people when they aren't correct, or seem not to be. He will be annoying about it. Good lord never send him into the Snow Queen's unit, he might have a breakdown. I realize im explaining everyones reactions to their trauma without explaining the trauma. ill do that sometime. Central Command.

Asera Cana - The SILLY!! Besties with Viktor. Unreasonably upbeat, nicknames for everybody. Mild visual hallucinations, but she can mostly ignore them now. Very prone to corrosion events. Overall very friendly with both people and abnormalities. Always stuck using Magic Bullet, much to the detriment of his mental health. Extraction.

Other nuggets, in case of specific requests:

Maritza, Mary, Myukeu, Slips, Ruby, Tetra, Adam, Parker, Katya, Evgeni

[phoenixastramurdercore]

(Personal Stuff) Survived Yet again! Had a Mini Stroke, Worried bc Stroke Survivor!

Hey, I wanted to get back into art so bad I might need to go a bit slow. I had a major stroke 7 years ago and recovered pretty well over the years despite having multiple physical disabilities, lots of my memories recovered, my mobility recovered(besides pain issues and some other disabilities that spike if I move around TOO much)

And chronic fatigue isn't as bad/fluctuates. But I have to get more excercise even if it hurts me so that also leaves less time to draw and I have to take it easy/not think too hard about anything right now. I was really excited to get back into art and like do a whole bunch of stuff! But for some reason my overexcitement to do all the things game me a ton of symptoms over the past week of when I had a stroke like right before I had one, besides the face droop mostly I had a mini stroke yesterday and It was fairly short. I feel better today, I'm okay, But I wanted to let you guys know I've been gone for a while because my healths been really, really bad hahaha. I keep trying to improve it and do what I can, my physical body is so so sensitive to just mental overthinking and silly stuff to the point where I was overexerting my...brain? it's really hard to explain. Anyways! I'm fine, I'm okay, but I gotta go real slow at everything rn because that leaves me very prone to having an actual stroke again, and I don't want to know what another one would do if I survived it. Just MAN ya'll this just a note like take care of yourself, not trying to make anyone *panic* but stress is so so real and is so dangerous, legitimately. A lot of drs neglected my severe anxiety/panic attacks for yeaaaaarss like I was having panic attacks so often they eventually became seizures, and then I got more and mor health issues wrong with me. Stress can destroy you from the inside out. My dad also thinks I had a stroke or something like a stroke when I was 19/20 or something like that and he didn't know it was one at the time! and I didn't even know it happened. So if you aren't aware please know what the signs are. I had eye twitching and bad dizziness/vertigo for days and I could barely comprehend/what was being said to me, kept misunderstanding stuff and was reading/hearing things wrong and could not process stuff correctly. i kept forgetting what I was doing, or where I was or if some stuff existed. Now it's hard because some of my anxiety stuff can do things like that too. But the migraines and headaches I've been getting have been so bad, but then the numbness on one side came, and it was worse on the left side of my face(which is where I got face droop years ago) and my words werent totally slurred but weren't coming out right. WHEW. Following up with my dr soon and specialists..but they are booked far out so I hope she can see me sooner. But seriously guys take care of your mental health. You NEVER know what will happen fr. Life is so unpredictable! Stay strong <3 And prioritize your health no matter what happens.

[catflowerqueen]

I am glad that Sun survived, and that he actually isn’t in as bad a shape as I’d feared. Yeah, his physical body is messed up, but his programming, memory, and basic functionality seem fine, which is the more important bit. It will be interesting to see what the brothers’ new upgrades look like. I just hope they won’t be too… extravagant? Like, that they will still retain the essence of their original selves. If that makes sense.

And speaking of their original selves, it was actually pretty cool to get the answer to Moon’s question from way back in the “Moondrop’s Sad Origins” episode on whether or not Sun could actually still do the bodily transformation into Moon’s form—yes he can. Or at least he partially can. Still no confirmation on whether or not Moon put that functionality into his current body, though. I think it makes more sense for him to have let them out, but if the computer is saying that his body/shell is similar enough to Sun’s that both are able to be upgraded in roughly the same way, then he might have just done an exact copy when making his current body. Well, expect for not including a knife arm, but that was never in the original plans, so…

I will also be curious about what they do as far as the messed-up memories of everyone else subplot goes. I mean. I feel like Glamrock Freddy and Circus Baby were the only ones left who still had an absolute negative opinion, but there are a few different avenues they could explore. If Monty’s theory about the star’s destruction undoing the spell is correct, then the question becomes whether or not whoever was still affected would even be aware of the revert to normalcy, or whether it is a situation where they can’t remember ever holding the negative opinion and things just get rewound—so basically a reverse of what Eclipse did. If the star’s destruction has no effect on the spell—which is equally likely since they were thinking that the solar base is still functioning despite needing star power to shield it—then the spell might still be in effect and need to be manually removed, which could lead to some interesting situations if Glamrock Freddy finds out that Eclipse is dead and Sun and Moon killed him.

Of course, the more likely scenario in either case is that he just never bothers to show up or talk to the two of them one way or another. Like. This isn’t exactly a situation where I would expect anyone to come apologize—or at least, I wouldn’t be upset with them if they didn’t, since it isn’t like its their fault that their memories got messed with—but… still. Some acknowledgement of their existence would be nice. Like. Moon didn’t count any of them when he was listing off his allies to Eclipse, and I’m pretty sure only regular Freddy is the only one who even knew about Lunar’s existence. And even he didn’t get informed of Lunar’s death. And none of them knew about Moon’s own memory situation, even though Glamrock Freddy actually interacted with him the same day he woke back up. Golden Freddy is an exception to all of this, of course, but he is also kind of an outlier in general, so he doesn’t really count.

Other notes… Timeline-wise I’m thinking that yesterday’s Monty and Foxy channel episode where Earth was a special guest actually takes place after todays lore episodes on both that channel and the Sun and Moon one given that Earth went to Monty for help with Sun and Moon asked them to let her stay over for a few days while they waited for Sun’s (and Moon’s) upgrades to come in. Technically it would also explain why Foxy is no longer kidnapped by various entities, but without Moon asking for her to stay over that could just be explained away as their using up some pre-recorded gaming videos.

And speaking of the Monty and Foxy channel, it was actually rather heartwarming today to see just how much Monty really does care about Foxy. Yes, they were still being jokesy and brusque with him, but the care and concern was obvious. And, like, they intended to give Foxy a magical, flying pirate ship for a birthday present. That’s not the kind of present you give someone you don’t really care about. It also seems like Foxy might not hold too much of a grudge toward Ruin over getting beaten up, which is kind of nice if Ruin really is engaging in some sort of “battle of the mind” and fighting from within and is actually trying to be better. It was also hilarious to see—well, hear—them deliberately damaging the ship.

It is a bit sad that we never got to see them interact with Eclipse, though. It also makes me wonder if they will consider their debt to regular Freddy paid now, or if they’ll feel honor-bound to help him in some other way.

Oh, and one more thing I forgot to mention in my analysis of the Sun and Moon show episode is that they seem to have forgotten—again—that they do, actually, know someone who is monitoring star power. And… honestly, they kind of missed an interesting direction to take the plot on that front. Like… when the computer said that Earth ran off, my first thought was that her sleeper-agent protocols were activating and she’d gone to make a report to the Creator on what Sun just did. And I suppose there’s still a bit of wiggle room in that if they want to say she stopped to make a call on the way to Monty/will still do that later, but… it just felt like a missed opportunity to me. Not that I actually want Earth to be a villain, unknowing or otherwise, but I would like the writers to at least not forget that plot point exists. Because, really, unless this is some sort of “heat of the moment/panicking over Sun’s condition” deal, Sun and Moon should definitely at least remember that the Creator was looking into the star’s situation when Eclipse was messing around with it.

Oh, also, one more thing—I had to laugh when Sun seemed most upset about his ribbons getting messed up. It’s a nice reminder that he used to willingly play model for Chica and Roxy’s fashion shows and has mentioned dressing up before.

The next arc is sure to be interesting.

[aintgonnatakethis]

SGA Sheppard-gives-Kolya-to-Todd for the wip game👀

Thank you for the ask @chaniis-atlantis! ❤️️ I spoke about this story which has a title now previously here and here (with the second one being decently long) and chapter 2 was posted on AO3 yesterday! /end plug

What I want to talk about today - or more accurately what I want to ramble about I guess - is how very similar the trio of Sheppard, Todd and Kolya are to each other! Shepherd would like to think that he's better than both of them and the mask he presents to the world certainly gives that impression to others, but who he is deep down inside… He knows with an uncomfortable amount of clarity that he has the capacity to be a bad guy, a piece of self-knowledge that can only come about from having been the bad guy in the past and finding he enjoys it. After all the only thing he's scared of is himself!

As for Todd, he's obviously been raised into Wraithdom - which you could compare in a way to a cult but that's an entirely different conversation and I expect this response is going to get long enough already 💀 - and now he wants to stop the killing as he's been offered a better option. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's trying to meet Sheppard halfway out of the goodness of his heart! If the treatment to allow Wraith to regain the use of their childhood digestive systems failed, he would 100% continue killing. Every living thing must eat indeed!

Kolya embodies some of both Sheppard's and Todd's best and worst traits. He's quick witted, a good tactician, a fine warrior, a ruthless bastard, but he also has their arrogance and inbuilt mistrust of others. They all hate each other because when they look at each other they see what they themselves could be.

Sheppard looks at Todd and he could be a killer. He looks at Kolya and he could be a psychopath (note: I am not using that term accurately, just in Sheppard's mind from his POV).

Todd looks at Sheppard and just straight up sees himself because I don't think Todd is ashamed of who or what he is. He recognises the importance of the gene therapy to continue the existence of his species, but he doesn't feel a great sense of guilt from the many many many people he has killed because that's just what he had to do to survive. The other option was death and he was never going to roll over and just take that. When Todd looks at Kolya I think he sees what Sheppard has the potential to become: bitter and petty while still retaining all of the qualities that make him dangerous and fascinating and attractive. I think he worries that one day Sheppard will "wake up" and come to hate all Wraith just as everyone else does and he'll lose him to a version of Kolya.

Kolya looks at Todd and sees tens of thousands of years of his people's oppression, murder and culling, being driven underground and probably having to put quite strict rules on things like having kids down there because there's only so much space to expand into, so even out from under the immediate watchful eyes of the Wraith they're still limited by their existence. So there's never any way in hell that Kolya and Todd could ever find a middle ground, something of which I don't blame either one for given what the other has put them through.

Now when Kolya looks at Sheppard… The intricacies of what he sees: there's hope for Pegasus, there's hope for the Genii people, so he does want Sheppard to succeed. But there's also a fair amount of jealousy that Sheppard is the one who's getting to be the big hero and save Pegasus and Kolya feels like that should be him, that he's put in enough of his blood, sweat and tears, and his contribution isn't being recognised. I don't know whether this line was actually in the show or just in my head but "if I were a younger man" really strikes a chord with me over how Kolya and Sheppard interact from Kolya's side of things.

WIP Name Game

[imageingrunge]

mellll i wanna know more about ur vampires in general! also did u paired inna with caleb? just go ham and spam me with info <3 they're all so gorgeous

omg thank you for asking!! im in the process of putting together the bones of a story abt them rn!! so here's a brainstorm i had yesterday abt it

Caleb V.

I was considering Taurus, or Gemini for him (he's Lilith's younger brother NOT twin) because he is very much not yet satisfied by life or his 'un-life', he is always flying from one passion/interest to the next (this also applies to his love life), he enjoys the pomp & luxury afforded to high status vamps. In that way he is uniquely suited to survive an immortal existence - vamps in my game tend to suffer from long periods of stagnation, they'll get depressed and sleep away whole centuries or constantly dwell on the past- Caleb has pretty much avoided this fate 

He's 21 and his favorite food was blueberry pie when he was human, Vlad finds his interests in human food perverse, but did teach him how to play the piano

Complicated relationship with his sister Lilith would NOT talk to her after they were turned, Inna was an intermediary between the two- it was like this when they were human as well, caleb was sort of the star/golden child. lilith & him lost thier parents as children and were raised by a relative (still deciding between aunt or grandma) that uh was very much NOT fit to raise them

I don't know yet if I would make them a thing, but him & inna are kindred spirits- he has a soft spot for beautiful things, and lost causes- and Inna is sorta that, he feels she died too young, they are also very childish- he always let's inna do his hair & make up and they often refer to each other as 'Mon bonheur' and Inna calls him 'Mon petit chou' from time to time- love is sort of a nebulous experience between vampires it never becomes intense like it does between mortals

Inna Cents

She died at 19, at some point in the year 1900 (maybe on loveday/valentines) - her family used to live in a big summer house in granite falls- im still working out the how of her death, but I know her family chose to believe she disappeared into the woods instead of becoming a vampire- after that happened they sold the house/land it was on and it became a park

I feel there are some possible outcomes of her demise:

She was in love with human girl, who died- and she asked Vlad to turn her into a vamp, so she could still be with her love in a sort of after life- because she did this, she is stuck in Vlad's coven, until she pays off this debt

Or she caught tuberculosis- and her family asked her to be turned to save her

Or perhaps a mash up of the above scenarios

Personality wise- when she was human, she was born wealthy, and had a fine education- but was vain & over generous- I think she has a sort of childish (in a pure sense- like the I am going to devote my whole life to this person no matter what) view of love- and tends to put her trust in the wrong people, she has a very mystical like intelligence/wisdom despite her clumsy tendencies, she understands more about vampire nature/lore than even lilith- but I feel she is stuck between moving forward or looking back on her past and it makes her a coward/weak as a vampire. I don't know if she makes it, or meets a sad end yet