#yes this is cucumberplane.

[thegoldenavenger]

Imagine you're writing a book.... a novel... something dark and plotty and a meditation on power corrupting and how the cycle of abuse keeps spinning and you share this on the internet and it gets kind of popular and people actually send you money for it and then your computer dies and you lose all your notes for this story you've been enjoying writing.

But that's okay, because you've just about wrapped up this first arc and your commenters and supporters have some pretty good ideas themselves so you start borrowing some concepts and your readers donate more so you start, maybe, pandering a bit! What can you say! You love the validation. And also money.

And soon this hobby starts supporting you, like it's your job. And the vast majority of your fans (you have fans!) know what they want, and really, the overall thematic arc you were going for is still there... just skewed a bit. It's less of a powerful dissertation and more of a parody, or even a subversion you'd say. Though your critics would be quick to point out that a parody indistinguishable from the source is, perhaps, no parody at all.

Well, you're still getting paid!

And then your favorite critic yells into your inbox and you laugh so hard you electrocute yourself to death and wake up in the shitty sell-out novel you dedicated years of your life to write.

And then, your most dedicated hate reader is there with you. You died thinking about him. And the world you wrote into existence bends over backwards in his wake. He plays the part of a man you wrote to die, and he doesn't play it well but he does it like he was born to. Like the only thing he was meant for was to throw a wrench into your novel.

Can you imagine?

This man dies, and the world you wrote writes him a symphony. Your protagonist, your second main lead, the man with a hidden past, a mountain full of recently un-doomed background characters, they all mourn him. These characters you wrote, brought into startling three dimension, all focused on him.

He gets better (you helped with that, a little, even though it was his plan because he has an encyclopedic knowledge of the world you wrote) and then he marries your protagonist. Your edgy self-insert oc who is also an exploration of a corrupting, unstoppable, ultimately lonely force of toxic masculinity tamed by your most dedicated, most critical fan giving him the basest level of kindness.

Would that be fucked up or what?

[phantazmz-old]

they r so special to me

[apiratefellinlovewithastar]

I love being a multishipper and hopping from liujiu to bingjiu to bingqiu to binggeyuan to moshang to scumplane fics

[verycharismaticdragon]

...Would it be alright to ask how the sequel to "A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House" that you mentioned in the AN is doing? If not, please ignore this ask, thank you for all of your writings, and have a lovely day!! Otherwise- it's been half a year, and I was curious if you're still working on it, or if you've shifted fandoms/stopped for one of many other valid reasons? Have you had any favorite moments that you looked/are looking forward to sharing? Any sections that you're really pleased with how they turned out?

I love your story so much!! Ahh, I'm just *still* so excited to see how the relationships develop, now that the truth is on the table!! I keep wondering whether or not Binghe will find out about his Shizun's plans to revive himself - with the System dangling the promise/reward of accessing the memory data, Shen Qingqiu might find out about it! But, would he tell Binghe? Would he think it would reassure Binghe, or make him feel like absolute *scum* - Binghe suffering so much due to his death that he turned back *time*, when he wasn't *really* dead!

And! It's only been 3 years, not 5 it took, but - did the System simulate the old reality long enough that he would have awakened?? Would he get access to any simulated memories that occurred between Luo Binghe turning back time, and him giving the System go-ahead to stop running that old world? AAHHHHHHHHHHHH

And, will we get CucumberPlane friendship??? The Binghe-Airplane friendship was *amazing*, so could they be an actual, proper group of friends????

I just keep circling back to imagining how on *Earth* Shen Qingqiu will respond to the truth and all of these revelations, once he's gotten over the initial shock and the immediate need to comfort and reassure Binghe! Once he has a chance to *think*, what knots will this man tie himself into???

...Ah, I love your story and world so much!!! I'd still be incredibly happy and satisfied if just what you've written so far existed - thank you so much for the wonderful, wonderful story!!!!!!!! Please know that it continues to live in my head-rent free, and it likely will for a *long* time to come!!

Have a wonderful day!!

It's still a thing that's happening! Just not... soon lmao. I'm currently re-reading canon slowly and thoroughly, to both sharpen my SQQ voice and to ensure I'm not missing details!

(Yes I'm still in mourning about forgetting that bit from vol.3 about LBH physically pulling SQQ out of bed during disciple days, and unknowingly contradicting it.)

(Also I gotta put it out there that it took me almost 2 years to write Transmigrator Time Traveler. With a year-long break in the middle. So I'm just hoping to write the sequel a lil faster than that.)

As for the scenes, I'm having a lot of fun with the post-realization convo, wherein SQQ is trapped between 'well im straight so im gonna turn him down' and 'cant make binghe sad!!!' (and the undercurrent of not really wanting to turn binghe down. that he refuses to acknowledge.)

Some highlights:

“And if not after three years, then maybe after five, or ten, or twenty years,” Luo Binghe continued, with a hopeful lilt Shen Qingqiu didn’t know how to smack down without feeling like a heartless villain. “If not then, then maybe in a hundred years shizun will consider giving this disciple a chance…” And thus, before Shen Qingqiu could think up a proper reply, he was blasted in the face with this enormous number Luo Binghe seamlessly threw out.

and this (context is that lbh has wheedled a 'well i guess lots of things could happen in 100 years...' out of sqq, and is trying not to be too demanding)

“This disciple has no right to ask for anything else. If shizun…” Luo Binghe, seemingly not aware he was doing so, pulled a face, “if shizun wants to… other people……” Shen Qingqiu swallowed an undignified chortle that threatened to break free. Binghe somehow managed to look both like he was a puppy left out in the rain, and like he had bitten into a particularly sour lemon. Shen Qingqiu truly couldn’t help it; the urge to tease was just too much! “What,” Shen Qingqiu asked mildly, “you aren’t gonna promise to poke out the eyes of any men that dare to look at me? Not even hang any of my exes on the palace gates..?” Luo Binghe startled out of his expression, blinking confusedly before looking up at Shen Qingqiu. “Oh, right, no palace,” Shen Qingqiu ‘remembered’. “And no exes, for my part.” After a moment, Binghe huffed out something between a laugh and an exasperated sigh. “I could get a palace, if shizun wanted one,” he said casually, almost offhandedly, as if that would require about as much effort as picking up dinner from the specific restaurant that was just a little out of the way — sure, some effort, but definitely nothing too daunting. (Binghe really was so effortlessly cool! — Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but note.) “And shizun wouldn’t be happy if I poked someone’s eyes out on his behalf.” If it was anyone else, Shen Qingqiu would take this as a joke: like, oh, that’s the only thing that’s preventing you? But… no matter how sweet his Binghe was… he was still very much the protagonist who conquered the Endless Abyss. “Mn, please don’t do that,” Shen Qingqiu said seriously.

(me, writing this: im like dropping hints that sqq is still fundamentally comfortable with binghe despite being shook by the realization that he was being romanced!)

The first outline for this scene btw was just:

Sqq: sorry we can't be in a romantic relationship Lbh, dramatically: OK but I want to be the most important person in your life >:T Sqq, relieved: oh why didn't you just say so, okay In their thoughts, both: I don't think he understands what 'romantic relationship' means...

---

As for other things:

SQQ will not be learning about the plant body thing for a while yet. I know where I would put it, but I'm as of yet unsure if I'm going to write that instalment. For the sequel, SQQ will not get his memories unlocked until very late into the plot. Watsonian explanation is that he will not have the time to watch like 6 years of memory-TV straight, and if he asks the System to show him something, he has to at least know it happened. Doylist explanation is that he will have enough problems for me to maintain tension level even without him being fucked up about putting Binghe through his fake death :) and so I'd rather save it for a moment where it could be a major tension point of its own.

The System did not simulate the other world for long enough for "SY" to come back there, and even if it did, it would be like. a chatgpt version of SY. Plus the way i described how system's saved memories work, it'd be more like how SQQ experienced SJ's memories in the dream realm, and not as if he had actually lived the events. (And honestly SY living through coming back to find Binghe gone would be too angsty for me. I like things balanced between hurty and comforty.) (But also every time I think about how this au could be used to set up a spare SY!SQQ and I've decided against it, I imagine this:

sorry binggy)

Lastly, the cucumberplane friendship is on the menu, and so is the 1 braincell trio know-the-future club shenanigans ;D

[piosplayhouse]

new addition to my pinned post to summarize my lovely page

[safebannie]

babe you better BELIEVE sqq took that airplane shooting towards the sky up his ass at least once, was in denial about how good it was and then married him

[shittybjtch]

God...i want sqh to be attatched to the hip w cucumberbro and neither even notice,,pls let them be good friends

[stiltonbasket]

“Stop moping,” Shen Qingqiu tells him, slapping Shang Qinghua on the back of his head with his new silk fan--one that Shang Qinghua gave him as a present, because Cucumber-bro really is the meanest friend that Shang Qinghua has. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.”

He doesn’t go so far as saying that Shang Qinghua wouldn’t be in this situation if he hadn’t written that extra about cultivators gaining new spiritual powers after fifty years of chaste cultivation, but it’s a near thing. “What other way is there?” Shang Qinghua moans. “He was going to strangle me! He dreams about--about dragging me off into dark corners, and then squashing me like a bug!”

“Maybe he didn’t want to squash you like a bug,” Shen Qingqiu suggests. “Maybe he just wanted to...reprimand you. Gently.”

“He was looming over me all threateningly, Cucumber-bro,” Shang Qinghua whines. “And I didn’t even do anything this time! Well, nothing except ruin his marriage alliance with the third daughter of that fire demon clan, but--”

“Are you sure he wanted to marry her?” Cucumber-bro says skeptically. “How would that work? Where would they even live?”

“OG Binghe married an ice demon and a fire demon. And they lived in the same palace, so he set up separate suites for both of them.”

“They weren’t married to each other, though.”

“Yes, but--well, that’s beside the point! The point is, Mobei-jun still fantasizes about beating me up, even though I told him humans don’t like that, and one day he’s going to snap and break my damn legs!”

“No, he’s not. He’s held out this far.”

“You’re horrible,” Shang Qinghua wails. “Can I stay here with you on Qing Jing until Luo Binghe gets back? Mobei-jun won’t bother you, even if he comes looking for me, and it’s not like my disciples need me over on An Ding.”

He makes his best pleading eyes, the one his mother once told him made him look like a baby hamster, and holds them until Cucumber-bro sighs and puts his face in his hands.

“Fine!” he snaps. “But don’t come crying to me if the disciples annoy you. Or if Zhangmen-shixiong tries to come over here and drive you out. Or if Liu-shidi--”

“Turns up with some kind of beast again, I know the drill,” Shang Qinghua says eagerly, diving into his pack and laying out his bedroll across from Shen Qingqiu’s bed. “Thanks, bro. You’re the best.”

Shen Qingqiu’s jaw drops open. “You came prepared?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t have a choice.”

“Shang Qinghua!”

can't stop thinking about a moshang cherry magic au. sqh would definitely be the type to hear someone's thoughts and STILL draw the wrong conclusion. mbj internally: his face is all red again. cute. I want to bite his little round cheeks. sqh, bursting into sqq's bamboo house: I WAS THREATENED

you’re right omg the POSSIBILITIES

imagine sqh accidentally touching mbj while they’re sitting next to each other in a very boring meeting, and instantly sees mbj is daydreaming about kabedoning him in the filing room. mbj moves to touch him in his day dream, and irl sqh shoots out of his chair because oh hell no, he does not want to see mbj daydreaming about strangling sqh in a dark room. 

or!!! mbj thinks: i want to eat him up. and sqh goes: CANNIBAL MBJ THINKS I’M A TASTY TREAT?????????

omg who is going to write me 50k words of this au

[youareunbearable]

i’ve been so hyped up on the Cucumberplane bandwagon that i forgot that they arent just a package deal, like normally. Like sure yes its great that ur having Luo Binghe work through his abandonment issues and actually working through his trauma with Shen Qingqiu, but WHERE is Shang Qinghua???? Where is LBH’s husband’s funky little rat (affectionate) best friend that is always around when he shouldn’t be??? If I’m gonna read anything more than 100 words relating to either Shen Qingqiu or Shang Qinghua I want either of them to mention the other at least once!! Im making it canon that the song “You, Me, and Steve” is about Luo Binghe and Mobei-Jun singing about the other’s husband

[vodkassassin]

AHHHH YOU MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUCUMBERPLANE RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (expect something soonish am busy rn) - the anon that showed u the pre-transmigration married!cucumberplane

Ah yes anon THANK YOU for bringing it to my attention <3 it was high time I’d actually broken the ice for romantic cumplane — I do ship it, I just hadn’t summed up an idea for them in writing until you came along and kicked me into gear 🙏🏻 you’re doing god’s work.

This has helped me decide that cumplane is for sure gonna be the end pairing for one of my chapter stories I have going on. Thanks!

[midnyghtmadnes]

Thoughts

So... I finished SVSSS. Gonna just stream out my thoughts. Will be long cause I wanna cover all my final opinions. Then I’ll shut up about it lol.

So, all in all, the novel was enjoyable and fun. Definitely can't say I have the same emotional investment in the characters as I do in MDZS though, except SY, he's my favorite.

To start, I guess this is where fanfics will come into play, but I want more SY and Airplane interactions. They're the only two that can truly understand the other's situation and I think that’d make for a lot of interesting and fun interactions. Though at the same time it's also funny how they have that understanding but their current relationship is basically just like, not a love-hate relationship. But a.. somewhat camaraderie I'll help ya out maybe if you need it-but I also don't particularly like you, relationship. Still, I am falling onto the Cucumberplane wagon (not in a shippy way though).

As for MBJ and Airplane.. I just wish the novel went into the status of their relationship after everything that happened. SQH was constantly stressed out by him and seemed to have had his share of beatings from MBJ. I saw shipping stuff with them as I was reading it and I was like.. ehhhh? At that point the only connection I knew was that MBJ was the one who was supposed to kill him, so I was like ?? Where did that come from. By the end of the extras, I wanna say I'm on board with it lol, but I just wish we saw more.

Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang... :( I love them and am really sad for them. And yes, I do constantly forget that ZZL killed Gongyi Xiao (who I liked a lot), but come on. He's snek Wen Ning and you can't tell me otherwise. I also actually like Shen Jiu's character. Which is kinda funny thinking about it, cause for example I know many ppl find JGY to be a sympathetic villain, and while I can understand, I still hate him lol. But SJ, who feels very similar to JGY in some ways, I find him really interesting and want to explore him more (that's what fanfics are for ayyy). Funny how all the antagonists of this story caught my eye lol. I didn't care for any of the villains in MDZS in terms of nuance (not that they were poorly written, but they just weren't the Type™ I fall for). But SV managed to get me to want to know more about all of them.

Bingqiu final assessment.... complete indifference. It wasn't as terrible as it could've been, and the extras did make it better, but idk. I flipped flopped a lot as I was reading regarding whether I was okay with it. The 50s chapters, no. Then it got better. Then chapter 80 happened and I was just.... it was genuinely painful getting through that chapter lol. I was constantly pausing and just.. collecting myself. Then the extras and I was like, hmmm it seems.. ok I guess. But I still think it's not the healthiest relationship. You can’t tell me his spiel in chapter 79 isn’t still a total guilt trip. Xin Mo exacerbates his negative emotions, it doesn’t make them up. He’s also constantly jealous even in the extras, making comments of suspicion on the slightest things and just wanting SQQ’s attention for himself. His whole world revolves around SY, and that’s just not a healthy thing for any relationship. It’s undeniably obsessive, and while I don’t see LBH acting on his jealousy, I think that’s only because “it’d make Shizun sad” and not because it goes against his morality. I think LBM is just as capable of doing messed up stuff (murder, torture, etc.) as LBG.

I also just feel like there's something that just doesn't connect between SY in the whole novel, and SY in the extras. By chapter 78 he still did not seem particularly reciprocative of LBH's advances. And even within the extras he's very no-touchy and anti-PDA. He tends to refuse LBH’s requests for intimate moments (until the crocodile tears guilt him into doing what LBH wants) and overall is easily embarrassed, like he's not confident in this relationship. I think at the least more lines of buildup should’ve been added, particularly in moments where it was just the two of them.

And you know what also kinda bugs me about it? I dislike how much the story pushed on that SY was confidently straight since birth. If you want to convince me that the initially ‘straight’/uninterested character ends up falling for another guy, just don’t push it so hard in my face contradicting that. Wei Ying flirted with girls, cool yeah. But the novel never gave the impression he was completely closed off to the idea. With how WY is written, I can totally see him being bi. But SY is more like, well I somehow ended up raising the ML as gay but hey that’s not so bad I guess, at the last minute. I can't say I ship LiuShen either, but I can definitely see the appeal when the canon alternative may easily not float your boat. Nothing beats Wangxian in my heart though 💕

As I expected, am sad with how the relationship with Cang Qiong Mountain ended up. I mean I guess it wasn't necessarily on bad terms, but basically his other disciples are left without their shizun and the sect's whole familial relationship is scattered. I guess it's because I appreciate Wangxian staying in the Cloud Recesses, having this space of theirs and the Jingshi that they can call home. I read the fanfics that have LWJ making WY a lotus pond out front and just their beautiful domestic post-canon life. I love that they can go out night hunting with the juniors. They can go out and travel, just the two of them, when they want. They could retire one day if they wanted. But they'll also always have a family to come back to. LQR begrudgingly accepting WY in time. The bread and butter that is Yunmeng bros reconciliation. Bingqiu.. doesn't really have anything like that. For instance, Liu Qingge and LBH are on terms that I don't feel could ever be recuperated the way WWX and JC could. I don't think Bingqiu could ever stay at CQM in complete comfort. So that's just a little sad.

Also is it just me who, when reading, would always imagine TLJ with short hair, even tho nobody ever has short hair in these novels lol.

Anyway lol, I think that about covers everything I can think of. If you got this far, you the real one ✌🏼

[tossawary]

Some random favorite lines (with commentary) of Chapter 20: “The Other Shoe” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” because I’m doing a re-read. Not a full list or full commentary.

-

AN: I actually really like the title of this chapter. It’s a reference to the saying, “Waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Both in regards to the arrival of SVSSS’s other transmigrator and to the sudden, forced System World Update that happens because SQH’s been breaking the world too much.

-

 One of Mu Qingfang’s glowing hands is on the man’s bared stomach, while another rests on his chest, and Shen Qingqiu bares his teeth in agony. Mu Qingfang is speaking very quickly to the people around him - voice sharp with urgency and brow furrowed with intense concentration - giving instructions to his patient, his head disciple at his side, and his sect leader. 

 Yue Qingyuan is kneeling beside Shen Qingqiu, hunched and desperate and wild-eyed, letting the other man squeeze all life and feeling from his fingers, the both of them holding on for dear life. 

- 

AN: My feelings towards YQY, SQQ, and Qijiu have their ups and downs, but I’m always firmly convinced that they care. If they cared less, if they were both more vulnerable people, maybe they could actually talk about it. 

- 

 The young man has short hair -  short hair -  short enough that the tips only just cover the top of his ears. That’s one of the many haircuts Shang Qinghua thinks about wistfully every time the weather gets too fucking hot for fancy long hair. The kid turns to look at Shang Qinghua, clearly terrified, wide-eyed behind his glasses.  Glasses!  Semi-rimless glasses with bright blue frames! And to top it all off, the kid is barefoot and wearing  patterned pyjamas, with buttons and a breast pocket, and just the sight of them is nearly enough to knock Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky back on his ass. 

  Modern  hair.  Modern  glasses.  Modern clothing. 

- 

AN: Why give SY piercings? Idk, because it’s fun. That’s it. Here’s some young punk with a cool haircut and cool piercings and also glasses and button-down patterned pyjamas, who likes to read shitty stallion novels for the monsters and the emotional arcs and negative development of the sexy protagonist. 

- 

 Shang Qinghua launches forward and grabs the transmigrator - holy fucking shit, the  transmigrator  - by the arms. The transmigrator  wobbles  under Shang Qinghua’s hands, which makes Shang Qinghua’s skin crawl in sympathy and  “get me the fuck away from this thing” horror, but there’s something there - something mostly there - to hold. The kid struggles, but he’s not strong and not heavy, and Shang Qinghua is arguably a little bit more than human at this point. 

- 

AN: They are both... SO FAR from home. 

- 

 Flashy and attention-grabbing? Yes. Probably a crime against graphic design? Also yes. Ahhh, Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky probably thought it was cool! But it’s been… ehhh… a few decades in the world itself has given Shang Qinghua some opinions and different tastes. Super nostalgic! But, like, in a very bad, dread-inducing,  “a haunting image from another life”,  and  “someone just walked over my grave”  way. 

- 

AN: It is immensely funny to me to imagine someone being genuinely (and for good reason) haunted by some shitty web-novel banner. It’s like picturing a “Modern Character in Naruto” Self-Insert knee-deep in some extremely bloody ninja wars and then being confronted by the Naruto title design again. 

The dissonance of experiences! 

- 

“...You’re… you’re a transmigrator,” the kid says. 

 Being found out is definitely one of the Top Ten Worst Transmigration Crimes, so far as Shang Qinghua has been able to pierce them together from his System’s disapproval. But, ahhh, it looks like Shang Qinghua’s own System has just done that for him! What the fuck are rules or reality anymore? 

 “For my sins,” he answers. 

- 

AN: Says the Author God of this world, Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky. 

- 

 "So! You're a reader?" Shang Qinghua asks. "A fan?" 

 "I wouldn't say 'fan',” the kid grumbles, lifting his chin while still visibly trembling. “What's the other option? Someone who didn't waste hours of their life on a stallion novel written by someone with no taste and the writing skills of a grade-schooler? A ‘non-reader’?" The kid's eyes narrow. "The author?" 

 Shang Qinghua is both mildly hurt and reluctantly impressed. “Ah, wow, you’re sharp,” he says. “An anti-fan, then? Hey, that’s fine, it was kind of all the same to me, really.” 

 The kid blinks at him, apparently surprised to be right. “You’re… Airplane?” 

-

AN: SY can be a complacent guy sometimes, but he can also be sharp sometimes too. It’s a fun balance. 

- 

 He’s been here, alone, for decades. If there are more transmigrators, Shang Qinghua is going to scream. In fact, it’s really unfair that he’s not screaming now! He would really, really,  really  like to start panicking now! He’s having a day here! Except the kid currently has the  “allowed to panic”  ball right now. Dying (Shang Qinghua assumes), transmigration, almost becoming  Shen Qingqiu, and getting a broken transmigration instead? That’s a lot of bad news in very quick succession! Shang Qinghua doesn’t want to set the kid off or make an even worse first impression by having a much-deserved breakdown. 

 He’ll have his breakdown later in private, like a responsible adult. 

- 

AN: SQH has the “Responsible Adult” Override here. 

- 

“The time and place for your appearance wasn’t good,” Shang Qinghua admits. “But I can come up with something for a mysterious backstory. I have some pull here, you know. There are lots of teleportation plot-devices lying around. You’re an escapee from somewhere, fleeing… ah, something. Someone, maybe! Hey, you pretend to have amnesia about the whole thing and we call it a day! If we’re lucky, you get lost in the shuffle!” 

 “Amnesia,” the kid repeats, unimpressed. 

 “It’s cliché because it’s a classic, Cucumber-Bro.” 

 “I’ve always wanted to be a  Proud Immortal Demon Way  background character with potential for an interesting story, but who gets abandoned in favor of  papapa plotlines and fades away into non-existence!” 

-

AN: Cucumberplane banter is just fun. 

-

 “Hey, want to learn to cultivate? You can learn to cultivate!” 

 “With  your cultivation system?” the kid says, unimpressed and wary, but he’s totally considering it. Flying swords are pretty tempting! 

 Kids love the flying swords! 

- 

AN: SQH is definitely trying to pull a “hey, shiny thing!” tactic. 

- 

“...The System will look after you,” Shang Qinghua says. 

 The kid squints at him. “What?” 

 “I was lying before,” Shang Qinghua lies. “I just didn’t want to do the update. Yeah, it’s actually going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine, bro.” 

 Now the kid called Peerless Cucumber looks like he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or furious; he looks like he’s managing both at once pretty well. “You’re only looking out for yourself here, aren’t you?” he says icily. “It’s like you really are Shang Qinghua.” 

 “The one and only,” Shang Qinghua agrees. 

- 

AN: There’s a lot I like about this moment. Shang Qinghua lying to comfort Shen Yuan in the face of the unknown. Shen Yuan being prickly again and pulling out another insult. Airplane honestly being the only Shang Qinghua there’s ever been in this world. He really is Shang Qinghua now! This is his life! 

- 

 He needs to think that he has some control over the life he is living  right now and has been living for decades now. This is a life that he really doesn’t want to see actually become the shitty story he wrote. 

 Shang Qinghua grabs the kid by the arm and makes for th

- 

AN: This was mean, but it was also a lot of fun. I’ve had AO3 glitches before. Time to mimic them now in a serial storytelling format for tension!

[chaoticgoodlawyerwrites]

Okay coming out of a week of not having access to a functional computer and still dealing with the move from hell (turns out my main pieces of furniture got water damage in the storage unit! I'm not happy!!), I'm back with a snippet of Cucumberplane friendship for the next chapter! Hopefully I'll have the entire thing posted by the end of the weekend.

He was en route to Jing Xue Peak to learn more about array mechanics when he got a message from Shang Qinghua. He looked around the clear, open sky, and thought it was safe enough to open it.

SQH: hey bro you okay?

SQQ: ?? yeah why?

SQH: heard you weren’t feeling well?

Shen Qingqiu gaped at the screen only he could see.

SQQ: What? How?!

SQH: well I’m a spy, right? I generally know what happens in the sect but my disciples started observing you closer after LBH came to get me like a week ago and we’ve been hanging out

SQQ: your disciples are spying on the sect for you?

SQH: not *spying* spying. Just like keeping me informed on things for logistic purposes

SQQ: they’re spying

SQH: …

SQH: Anyway! What’s going on? I’m here if you want to talk!

Shen Qingqiu sighed and gave it real thought. While he didn’t quite feel comfortable divulging everything to Shang Qinghua despite their declared friendship, who else did he have to talk to about this besides Binghe? And what would happen if he kept relying on Binghe alone?

(What would happen when Binghe left?)

SQQ: okay. Thanks, I guess

SQQ: …It’s about Binghe. He kissed me last night.

SQH: !! Congratulations…?

SQQ: No! No congratulations!!

SQQ: He’s my student! My 16-year-old student!!! The only people he should be kissing are people his own age who are not his teacher!

SQH: Yeah, but would either of you be happy if he did that?

The sentence was like a punch to the gut. He was nearly at Jing Xue but he descended to nearby cliff to perch on solid ground, the open air around him suddenly feeling none too safe.

Because no, he would not be happy if Luo Binghe started kissing other people at all. But it also wasn’t his place to stop him.

SQQ: …no

SQH: Okay then just let him know that wasn’t okay because of the age difference/teacher thing and you’re good, right?

SQH: When did he even have the chance to kiss you? I mean this is the best possible way, but you’re not the most approachable person.

SQQ: …we often spend the evening together. He cooks our dinner and seems happy to spend time with me until I go to sleep. He was brushing my hair for the night as I explained what I said to MQF. I thought he didn’t react well when I mentioned I had feelings for him but he kissed me as I was telling him that I didn’t expect anything from him.

SQH: …

SQQ: what?

SQH: there is so much to unpack there I don’t even know where to begin

SQH: how much time to do you have?

SQQ: not much, I’m heading to Jing Xue to start research before our meeting with MBJ tomorrow

SQQ: we still good for that?

SQH: yes, my king will be there, don’t distract me though

SQH: let me get this straight. You, the person who single-handedly ended his hell of living with SJ as his master and continues to welcome him into your inner sanctum, told my protagonist with major abandonment issues that you’re in love with him but don’t expect him to feel the same?

SQQ: …more or less?

SQH: bro

SQH: bro you’re lucky the only thing he did was kiss you

SQQ: No! No talk of Binghe doing… anything else! Binghe is baby, the cutest bun!

SQH: …if I’m recalling correctly you were fine with him doing a lot more than kissing at 17

SQQ: I was 16 at the time! Of course I was more okay with it!

SQQ: Also it didn't *involve* me!!

SQH: Wait wait whoa back the fuck up

SQH: 16! What were you doing reading my web novel at 16?!

SQH: Wait, how old are you now??

SQQ: Age checks on websites are a joke, Airplane. And I was there for the monsters and Binghe, not that mess that came later.

SQQ: I died at 19, so I’m about 21 now. Hard to say with the shifting dates between death and rebirth.

SQH: Jesus I’m talking to a baby

SQQ: Hey! I’m an adult!!

SQH: A Child.

SQQ: NO

[spockandawe]

💘 and 👎?

Ship that is unpopular but you still like: 💘

Oh no, this is so many of them XD Well, the first thing that came to mind is that I'm still a sucker for starscream/windblade, though it's another one where I'm very picky about characterization. Do people still get hateful about how it's abusive and/or straightwashing? I hope not.

I don't think chengning ever got wider traction, which is a real shame, because I think it could be FANTASTIC. In general, splitting up the main ship seems super unpopular in cnovel fandoms to a degree that I'm not really used to? But it's usually a fun way to really break into relatively untouched fandom ground! If Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang are hooking up, yes, Lan Wangji is probably sad and that makes me sad, but what are those two up to? If cucumberplane is actually happening, I'm sure their needy demon husbands are very sad, but what are they doing in their sadness? It's so interesting!

And also. Obi-Wan has like ten million popular ships, which I had not honestly been aware of before. But what I want. And the specific flavor I want. Is Obi-Wan and Quinlan Vos maybe having the same childhood as ever, having belligerent sexual tension, maybe never doing an actual relationship, whatever. But both absconding to Tatooine, or absconding separately and meeting up later. Give Obi-wan a little companionship to break up the loneliness and someone who can understand and relate to the trauma. What I want. Is episode iv, where there are TWO weird desert wizards who accompany luke off the planet, and they are very married, and..... okay, if obi-wan Has Someone, how does that play with anakin's abandonment complex. What does it feel like, if he knows that aayla, his friend, is dead, but the man who took her as a padawan is right here, with his own old master. This ups the messy drama quotient by ten million, and I want it so bad.

Ship that you can never see happening: 👎

This............ this is hard. I might have real trouble with this one. If we're talking fandom, this just sounds like a challenge. I used to entertain myself in homestuck making weird ships into reality, which kind of warped my perspective in a way I really enjoy. Something like lan wangji and jiang cheng seems like canon could NEVER get around to that point, but I've seen fanfics executed really well (and once hatefucking gets introduced as a mechanic, all kinds of doors open asgsdfas)

There are definitely ships that I see in the wild, where I.... can understand the steps of how things could get to a certain point, but I'm not compelled, and probably never will be. They won't ever happen for me, in that sense. Liu qingge/yue qingyuan is one of those. I can see how they could get there, I'm just not invested. Jiang cheng/lan xichen is the same. In theory, I'm interested in someone convincing me. But I've tried to be convinced a few times before, and just couldn't feel it. The closest I came with yqy/lqg was in 'I Wish You Were My Husband', where it was supposed to be a relationship built on unsustainably weak foundations that quickly broke apart.

And star wars..... just by virtue of sheer size, there are a Lot. There's a lot of pairing up clones with just.... adjacent people, where there's not much in the way of characterization or narrative focus, and I've already imprinted on my favorite big-picture AU of the setting, so a single contradictory ship in isolation is going to be a hard sell. I think there's a semi-popular ship with Fox and some senator lady? Yeah, I just can't feel it, I feel more with fox/padme, and it's not even a ship i Like, I just have a bit more to work with. Or fox/wolffe, I don't feel it, I just wonder if they're getting paired up because hee hee animal names, I haven't been given an emotional core. If someone constructs a good core, great! these even aren't big ships, because fox is a minor character, but it's a running theme. Or clones get paired up with their commanding jedi, which is fine sometimes, but give me variety. I want to ship Keeli very very very much, but who IS Ima-gun Di? Why do they care about each other? I don't know and can't infer, so I drift into even more minor ships I can flesh out myself. If I can find emotional content, I'm good to go, honestly. I was skeptical about codykin, and wanted to be convinced, and found fic that did that! I haven't found that for most of these other ships.

[piosplayhouse]

lrb cumplane au where airplane and shen yuan meet and fall in love because shen yuan makes the singular mobing porn fic on ao3 and airplane is so shocked that someone finally made content for his ultimate oc rarepair that he has to reach out