#yes this is all fake nothing is *real* about his feelings for cassandra but he's so. lonely.

[widowshill]

that's loverboy !!!!!!

[divinesolas]

Flowers | The Series | Chapter Eleven | A Challenge

Summary | Jacaerys day just so happens to continue to get worse and worse and worse.

Pairing | Jacaerys Velaryon × Fem!Reader

Warnings | jacaerys pov chapter, sort of a filler one sorry but next update will definitely be more interesting.. not proofread!

Word Count | 2.1k

A/n | LONG TIME NO SEE !! sorry for the super late update guys i should be back to normal posting now!! was down with a terrible case of writers block :(

Series masterlist

everyone within the general vicinity of him could tell jacaerys was in a horrible mood. the maids grimaced and quickly bowed before scurrying away as he walked by. his brother and uncle had left him soon after delivering the news, leaving him to settle down himself. jacaerys has an awful temper, he had to leave his room quickly so as to not pick up a vase and smash it against the wall.

He didn't know why he was so annoyed. maybe he was more embarrassed, he had sent you that rose and now here you were in a courtship with another man. he was humiliated, maybe he should write you an apology.

as he continues to contemplate in his mind his stops quickly in his steps as he almost bumps into, “lady cassandra. I am so sorry.”

she has a sickly sweet smile on her face making him feel a little sick, does she think he cannot tell a real look from a fake one? how does she always seem to know where he was? he feels like he has seen more of her in the past couple days than he’s seen anybody else.

“It is not an issue at all, my prince. I am happy to see you.”

‘I am not happy to see you’ but he shall bite his tongue and place a kind looking smile on his face.

“I am glad to see you as well lady cassandra, I apologize but i am needed elsewhere.”

it's not a lie, he does truly need to be somewhere, though if it was anyone else talking to him he would not be so eager to leave.

there was nothing wrong with cassandra… per say. She was persistent? Whenever he started to drift away mentally from the conversation she always tried to drag him back changing the conversation, whenever some other girl would come she would find a way to drag the two of them down a different path. she came on very strong, though she is not the only one who does but for some odd reason he felt he was seeing way too much of her.

“the training yard, yes? may you accompany me there? I wish to cheer you on today.” How does she know that?

“Of course.” She smiles and eagerly grabs his outstretched arm and he grimaces as he continues his walk to the training yard.

Trying his best to pay attention to what she was talking about the two continue walking towards the training yard, once he arrives at the stairs he has to practically pry her hands off him and rushes down the steps to where he had spotted his brother.

“Lucerys!” his brother turns to him and is almost bugged eyed at the eagerness of his brother, “jace?-”

“Let us go now, i shall see you lady cassandra.” he acts oblivious to her obviously annoyed facial expression as she bows, “till later my prince.”

Lucerys makes some sounds of discomfort as jacaerys drags him further into the training yard, “can you get go you're hurting me?” jacaerys finally gets going with a huff and sighs, a weight seemingly dropping off his shoulder. “What is wrong with you? Are you still upset over the courtship?”

jacaerys groans and turns away from him, “definitely not.”

“Oh he definitely is.”

Jace clicks his tongue as aemond joins the two brothers, “I am certainly not. I just happen to not feel well today.”

It's true, he does not feel well. Not after the news of your courtship, though that is completely irrelevant, he just so happened to start feeling sick after hearing the news. it has nothing to do with the news of your courtship certainly not.

“look at your face it most certainly is bothering you a whole lot oh you are so sad and pathetic.”

jacaerys ignores him, fiddling around with his sword, he should just train for the day, maybe hitting a dummy until it breaks while imagining that fools face will make him feel better. For no reason at all. Definitely not because he is upset over you.

Lost in thought his eyes drift towards the peers surrounding the courtyard. The duel happening a couple feet away from him bores him. His eyes lead upwards and he feels a warmth crash over him. A smile greets his face before he is able to stop it. He for a moment felt as though he was imagining things, you had shown up and he couldn't believe it. You bowed and sent him a smile. He swears he's never seen something so beautiful, the smile on his face can't help but grow. He hopes you are as happy to see him as he is to see you.

“Are you even listening to me?” Luke must have been speaking but jace hasn't caught a word of it. It had only made sense to him once he turned around fully and spotted you. He sent you a wave before whispering to Jace, “You really are a love sick fool.”

Jace angrily turns towards his brother an angry look as replaced his once cheerful one, “you shut your mouth.”

Jace decides he’ll go choose a different weapon from the wall as an excuse to walk away from his brother. He ends up stealing one more glance at you. You have an amused look on your face and he finds himself relaxing just a bit.

His mood however quickly falls just as fast as it has risen when he noticed ser joffrey had joined the courtyard. Now it had made sense you were at the courtyard to watch him train.

He grows more and more annoyed as he watches the exchange between you to. He eyes Joffrey down, it would not be hard for him to swap places with him, he should be the one making you smile like that. Why does he look so happy?

Not even watching his brother and aemond spare can draw him from his flights. Though that may be because it is well obvious to everyone aemond will win the fight.

“Good day to you my prince.”

As if his day could not get any worse, the last person he wishes to speak to is now standing by his side.

He clenches his jaw and tilts his head for a moment before answering him.

“Good day to you to ser joffrey.”

He turns to face him and somehow grows even more annoyed by the smile joffrey has on his face.

“What a good fight.”

Jace turns back to look at the fight for a moment and fights the urge to roll his eyes as he watches aemond play with lucerys like a dog.

“Yes, certainly.”

The two stand still for a moment before Joffrey continues to speak.

“You seem to have a good eye, my prince.”

“Whatever do you mean.”

Joffrey laughs, “well not only in fights my prince but in women.”

Jacerys finds himself frozen for a moment, “whatever are you implying ser?”

Joffrey laughs once more and the smile on his face seems way too sweet to be anything real.

“You must take me for a fool, my prince if you believe I do not notice. If you believe anyone in the red keep does not notice.”

Jacaerys grows angry, though he knows exactly what joffrey means he finds himself rather annoyed at his words.

“I have not the faintest idea of what you are implying ser.”

Joffrey's smile only grows as he shakes his head, “if you wish to continue to live in denial then so be it but i'd like to make a proposition with you my prince.”

“What could you want?” jacaerys says before he can catch himself and Joffrey continues to laugh. “Ah so i've truly angered you my prince your mask seems to be slipping my apologies.”

“Spit it out.” jacaerys cannot believe himself right now he has never shown such disrespect to anybody. He is beginning to feel a little like Aegon and he does not rather like that.

“I wish you to stop in your affections for miss dunn.”

Jacaerys stiffens and he finds an unexplainable pit growing in his stomach. Not even the fight ending between luce and aemond can distract him enough. Did his eye just twitch? He finds his next words harder to say, as if there is a hand inside his mouth gripping his tongue to make him not speak.

“I, um, I do not hold any affection for Miss dunn. That is um, an unexpected accusation.”

“You are a terrible liar.”

He finds himself at a loss for words as Joffrey points his sword at Jace, catching the attention of everyone in the courtyard. He can hear some gasps and some chatter but the only thing he can focus on is joffrey. “Let us duel.”

Jacaerys is at a loss for words. Why does he so suddenly want to duel? Before he can even think his hand finds his sword and he catches himself agreeing. He must be blind with rage and for what. There's no way he should be losing his cool over you. Certainly not. Definitely not.

He feels as though all Joffrey is trying to do is make a mockery of him, especially as he watches Joffrey turn to you and bow. He clenches his jaw growing more irritated.

He does not even steal a glance at you, he finds himself unable to.

He had lost. And jacaerys swears he had never felt so humiliated in his life. The crowd around him cheers yet all he can do is drag himself to where his brother is standing who attempts to comfort him yet the words fall on deaf ears. You had seen him lose. You must think terribly of him now. You must be so wowed by Joffrey that you would say yes if he asked to marry you right then and there. He was going to be sick.

“Everyone loses fights brother it is alright.”

“I am humiliated.”

“You are the crowned prince, nobody is going to make fun of you.”

The two do not exchange any more words. Jacaery is confused by the smile that suddenly appears on his face, before he gets the chance luce is already moving to leave.

“My lady.”

A moment passes before he is greeted with the sweet melody of your voice, “my prince.”

Still humiliated from today's loss he believes it may be better for him to run away. Though a part of him tells him that will only be more embarrassing.

He turns to face you, ““My lady… I um. i uh hope you are well today.” and of course he stumbles and stammers his words this day just continued to get worse.

“I am well today, your grace. The duel was brilliant… I think.” he finds your weak attempt at comforting him only stabbing the knife he feels he has in his chest deeper. “I wish I could say I agree with my lady.”

He cannot even lift his head to look at you. Maybe Joffrey had been correct. He should stop with whatever foolish comfort he sought from you and leave you to fall in love with joffrey. Now he is really going to be sick. He must leave, for the first time in a long time he feels like he should curl up into a ball and cry.

“I must go, I hope to see you-”

He is frozen once he feels the grasp of your hand around his wrist. The only thing now on his mind is how warm your hand feels. “My lady…”

His mind is racing as he realizes you had done it out of instinct, you did not want him to walk away then and a sudden wave of hope crashes into him like a wave hits the shore.

“You fought well today, my prince, I hope to see you duel once more.”

Those are certainly not the words he had hoped to hear from you then but none of that mattered when he felt you grip him tighter before you had let you. A part of him watched to reach his hand out and grab your hand but he had used any remaining self control he had to stop himself. A smile dawns on his face, a real smile for the first time that day.

“It is no issue my lady, I am glad. You shall see more of me, I promise. good day my lady.”

He makes this vow not only to you but to himself. It suddenly did not matter to him you were in a courtship already.

“Good day my prince, I hope you keep to your word.” he can barely believe it, the smile dawning his face only grows as he quickly turns in the hopes you will not notice the flush that finds its way to his face. You now made it clear you also wished to see him more and who was he to deny you.

---

did not include the taglist as its been way too long and im sure no one who had been reading this is still interested 😭😭 if you still are please feel free to ask to be added !!

[danifies]

Charming

hii story drabble for my favorite boy daniel page!

❝ TAGS ❞ fem mc x daniel, y/n used, year 3 spoilers, ooc(?)

You were charming, there was no doubt about it. That's what Daniel had always found intriguing about you, a muggle born who seemed to effortlessly charm all and any witch or wizard in proxy to you.

Daniel had a hard time pinning exactly how'd you do such a thing. Could it be that, given only being a third year, you were excellent at charms that most had trouble with? This definitely could be a factor, considering he's witnessed your impressive duels with Cassandra and the Frey's.

Or was it how you were so selfless when it came to helping others? He remembers first year when you dropped everything to find Ivy which you barely even knew well enough yet to do such a thing.

Daniel being friends with you, had taught him that over the three years of being at Hogwarts, you were quite known to all. It seemed like every class he'd attended had someone who dropped your name. "Did you hear? Y/n dueled with Elliot Evers! He's more advanced with techniques but yet she beat him!"

And that was another thing. Almost all of third year when the news had spread about his family being locked up, when he had blown off her and Ivy countless times to learn spells with Elliot, when he had told you a bit harshly that he didn't need friends but to be left alone, you never gave up on him. You helped him get Esme back, helped him fight in battles with Gridley, but most of all, you stayed. You stayed by his side.

After all that ended, you never once expected something in return for that all, which truefully daniel thought you'd maybe ask for a favour or two, but nothing ever came up... well perhaps not nothing

Daniel found himself in his least favorite place—the Dance club. He had received an owl from you to meet him here, so he was now. He had already awkwardly turned down the many offers from others to dance desperately, looking around the ballroom to catch a glimpse of you.

"Daniel!" He whipped his head towards your voice. You were dressed up more than usual; you looked... pretty. Her cheeks flushed from running to the hall, he assumed. It suited you, which made him feel a subtle warmth, trying to sneak his way to his own.

"Sorry I'm late, I hope you didn't wait too long" He shook his head and slipped his gands into his pockets. "Don't worry. Anyways why did you want to meet me here?" Daniel tilted his head in confusion when she let a giggle out.

"Well, it's simple." She smiled at him, and he cursed at the way his cheeks held the shade close to his hair color on them. "I want to dance with you, Daniel" He remained silent letting her words sink in before managing to blurt out "You.. want to dance? With me?"

"Yes Daniel, with you" Daniel cleared his throat and held out his hand "Alright then, I suppose Dancing with you isn't as bad as it usually be." She took his hand and lead him to the dance floor.

That day, he found out your charm was real, as real as anything. He finally fell victim after years of denying failing for such a thing, or so he thought. It seems he's been under since he met you. He was just trying to deem it fake for the sake of his heart. His cheeks would always flush red when you'd praise him for his skill in potions, when you asked him to dance so he wouldn't be bothered by others when they tried their hardest to persuade him.

You were charming, no doubt. Daniel Page found it intriguing how you managed to sneak your way into his thoughts, how you caught his eye everywhere he went, and how you, out of all students in Hogwarts chose him to give your every moment too. But he would want no other way.

this is my first time writing anything but the lack of Daniel story's on here is hurting my heart (っ◞‸◟c) anyways i hope this feeds other daniel fans well !!

[howlingwolf23]

Can you give me an idiots to fake dating to lovers with your choice of Dai characters

I can't pick one so your going to get 3

1) Sera and Dagna - these 2 seem perfect for the idiots\fake dating\lovers as they both horrible at reading social cues, could easily miss the hints from the other, think the other doesn't like them, would need to do something as convoluted as fake dating for no good reason, and then realize they love each other

2) Krem and Lace - not so much idiots but they are both great for the fake dating for undercover intel missions to the point that always get assigned together until they develop feelings

3) and of course Varric and Cassandra - Varric playing the idiot and Cassandra being an idiot to supress her emotions. Fake dating again for a mission.

As they dance at the ball, Varric tells her sweet nothings just loud enough for others to hear. This of course gets Cassandra to blush ridiculously bright red. If they weren't undercover, she would have yelled at him for being dumb or ludicrous but she just has to dance with him and take it.

Little does she know he means every word. It's not until a new chapter of Sword and Shields does she read a seen matching the dance perfectly and showing the Knight Captains dance partner secretly has feelings.

She storms over, finds Varric, drags away from whatever he is doing and finds the most secluded place in Skyhold.

She slams the book down and demands to know what this is about. Varric, again playing the idiot, says it's a book. She trys not to strangle him as she turns the book to the dance scene.

He admits that he based the scene on their dance. She flips a few more pages which exposes the hidden feelings, "and this?" She demands, "is this based on real events?"

Varric stumbles. He sent an edit to his publisher that apparently they never got or ignored to remove that scene.

It takes a moment and admits his feelings. She yells at him that she's no good at read signals from people and "so maker help, Varric. If you are lying to me, if you are playing one of your jokes, I will-" Varric gently grabs her hand and starts repeating the book's lines, saying all the sweet words, "and I meant every word of it."

She is blushing bright. "oh. Well. Good then. I, you too. I accept. Thank you." She doesn't know what to do and storms out only to briefly return to give him a kiss and storm out again.

Varric is left there, partial dumb struck that she said yes, partial just enjoys watching her leave. "Ah Seeker. You are a tough one to get close to but I see you are finally taking off your armor around me."

That was longer than I meant to write but those 2 are the easiest for me to write for

[filterpermanentlyattached]

...And the tears of a Clown

Okay, I’m going to go ahead and say I love Sean Astin and Felicia Day so this episode was just incredible to me! For so many reasons too. There was the Eve getting to tell Jenkins that they could not ALL leave The Library, somebody needed to be there as a last line of defense. Also, it’s the only time we have a NEW artifact that was made less than a couple decades ago and it’s never addressed again that new ones could be made. And of course the ‘attraction’ they use the crew for. But, I digress, let’s continue!

I almost hate when they have anything “set” in Kansas...that’s mostly because I was born there but hey, to each their own. I also despise he miscommunication trope. 

But when I tell you I gasped when I saw Sean Astin I am not exaggerating at all. I was not expecting that! Oh my gosh, Ezekiel gave Jenkins that lock picking kit for Christmas!! That’s fantastic!! 

I’m dying at this kid interacting with Jenkins. ‘The only ones who come after you are the clowns.’ This is Sam Winchester’s worst nightmare for real. ‘I presume you were raised on electronics?’ ‘Uh yes, yes I was’ good call Jenkins my guy. And now he’s terrified the child. “sigh”

I know that Jake is full suit due to the fake bodybuilder persona, but Cassandra as a mermaid is fantastic, and then we have Ezekiel barely clothed...Eve’s extra head ogling the boys, she felt so violated. Jake telling Ezekiel to stop playing that thing and he’s strutting around half naked unable to stop playing that recorder/flute. 

“That must be a weight off your shoulders!” Dear boy, you got your clothes back!! Yes Sean!!! First he was angry, now he’s back to being lovesick about Felicia Day. They are both so cute. 

 All of them feeling the effects of having their altered appearances is kind of funny. Stone rubbing his arms, Cassandra drinking a LOT of water, Ezekiel trying to say that those abs were all the snake charmer. 

‘We have to go back.’ ‘Are you sure you got the right head?’ He was not interested in going back at all. He was laying digital bread crumbs to keep DOSA off of their trail. Look at him go!!! And then they all got taken almost immediately. Worst. Souvenir. Ever. I agree with that, even if it does give you a clue. 

“Yes I understand. Your logic is sound. But there is nothing that can stop me from coming after you.” Jenkins showing he cares. Then the kids talking about fabric and Ezekiel finishing that with Matata from Lion King made me laugh. He went from zero to hero....the Disney references man.

Ezekiel asking the right question about why it has to be old. Which, has an unfortunate answer for this episode. I love the way he can twirl things around his fingers. Jones, the man you are... It’s not magic, it’s whimsy, girl, you are having way too much fun with that. Okay, so Stone has a clown outfit that fits his whole country boy vibe, Baird has camo, Ezekiel looks like literally any other clown making him indistinguishable, and Cassandra is having a blast!

“alright cool your jets Harry Potter” The Librarians are fighting for their lives and here these two are having a lovely date. Oh Flynn sent Eve the check yes or no and that is the cutest thing. Everything gets so dramatic and upsetting for a bit. 

Oh my gosh, poor Jake as everyone starts talking about the wand. Then Eve’s , do you know how much those things cost?! no, he does not, he would rather steal it. While he needs to know the value for other purposes, it wouldn’t be so that he could pay for it. 

Wrapping this episode up, Ezekiel stood way too close to that giant vat of hot wax for my comfort. Like, I know it was to throw the thing into it, but that could have splashed and that would have been a disaster! Then he has to pick at Jake for thinking it was the wand. They have a whole new section for NEW artifacts?!?! That’s amazing and terrifying. And it means we could have got several more seasons out of this show. My boy was mostly in the background for this one, I know he gets to be more in focus eventually, but this is frustrating that he always just gets a couple of lines. 

[soulmate-game]

part 2 (of that new bio!dad fic)

Dick whipped his head over to Bruce, who could feel the heavy gazes of all his children as if they were physical. If they had had heat vision like Clark, he would have already been reduced to a puddle of mush. Bruce shifted, the only sign of his discomfort, but he recognized that the middle of a gala was no place for this discussion. There were too many busybodies trying to listen in for the latest gossip. So he plastered on a smile that he couldn’t quite feel, and held a hand out to Marinette. He was careful to keep a good distance though, and left the choice for contant purely up to her.

The young woman looked down at his hand, then back to his face. Damian had been shocked silent by what she had to say, and perhaps even more by the all too telling way that Bruce hadn’t so much as implied that she was lying, and the look he was giving her was making her a little uncomfortable. Yes, she hadn’t planned on interacting with her father more than just the years-overdue confrontation she had just done, at least not while at the gala… but her plans always left room for improvisation. She could make this work.

With a soft sigh, Marinette extended her own hand— half the size of Bruce’s, he noted almost immediately with a rush of illogical fondness— and grasped his lightly. She couldn’t help but notice the way his impossibly blue eyes brightened, no different than her own when she was particularly happy, or the way his mouth twitched with a barely suppressed beam. Instead, he controlled himself enough so that the only smile he gave would look professional and entirely in character to the nosy socialites still spying on them, and led them out onto the dance floor.

What everyone else saw was the unfairly charming Bruce Wayne giving his young guest of honor a simple dance. Just a basic swirl around the floor that every other social elite had learned when they were five. Clearly he was taking it easy on the self-made girl, who probably didn’t have experience with such dances. Humoring the accomplished young woman with his approval for a moment before he would slink back to his family or patrol the crowds and make the necessary greetings and meaningless chatter.

What his family saw was Bruce taking time to slow his steps, not for Marinette to keep up but rather to prolong the event. What they saw was the grace in Marinette’s steps as she never once faltered, and that Bruce was careful to take his cues from her instead of the other way around. He only led the dance in technicality, Marinette had all the real control.

What they saw was a father’s first dance with his daughter.

“Eighteen,” Dick whispered, eyebrows drawn low. “She said she’s almost eighteen.”

“Well, that lines up doesn’t it?” Jason asked gruffly, his own gaze never leaving the dancing duo. “We were planning on doubling up your big thirtieth birthday party as your eighteenth adoption anniversary,” he reminded his brother, who just made a slightly distressed noise in the back of his throat. Whether it was at the reinforcement of his adoption coming only months after Marinette being put up for adoption, or the fact that he was turning thirty, nobody could really tell.

“Hurt,” Cassandra spoke up from behind them, looking incredibly concerned as she watched the dance. “Uncertain.”

Stephany rolled her eyes, fidgeting from her quickly building energy. Anger was making her restless. “Of course she’s hurt. Bruce replaced her, with a boy he knew virtually nothing about, not even that long after she was born. How do you think that made her feel, when she found out?” Stephany let out a little growl, grabbing a flute of champagne from a passing server and downing it in one gulp. She ignored Dick protesting that she wasn’t of age yet, which made her wrinkle her nose. “Only one more year, Dickhead. Get over it, I need the buzz.”

“Well,” Barbara sighed and maneuvered her wheelchair around the group so that everyone could see her. “Nothing we can do right now but be supportive and watch Bruce like a hawk so he doesn’t make this worse,” she stated easily, not looking even the least bit ruffled by the news despite the disturbed glitter in her eyes.

“... Guys,” Tim spoke up, not looking at any of them. “Who wants to volunteer for Damian duty?” At first glance, it might seem like Tim was thinking about his own first disastrous meeting with the younger boy. Once everyone paid attention though, they could see that the truth was that Damian had snuck away and Tim was pointedly looking at a slightly hidden-away staircase to the second floor.

“Shit,” Dick muttered, but before he could say another word Jason shoved him back and started towards the stairs.

“No, not this time Dicky. I’ll talk to the brat.”

Back on the dancefloor, Bruce and Marinette broke away without any fanfare at the end of the song. If Bruce tried to hold her eyes for a moment too long, nobody noticed besides his observant children, and two of Marinette’s protective friends.

Then, just to make sure that nobody caught on with the help of hindsight, Bruce said something vaguely polite and praising, which Marinette accepted with flawless, distant poise. And they went back to their own groups, Bruce quickly noting that two of his sons were missing. He raised an eyebrow, about to ask why when a presence behind him caught his attention. Unlike Marinette and Chloe, this newcomer was not at all trying to hide their approach or be sneaky about it, even though Bruce couldn’t hear any footsteps that were close enough to belong to the mysterious entity. Closing his mouth, Bruce turned around only to be greeted by yet another vaguely familiar face. Bright green eyes bore into his, unreadable.

“Mister Wayne,” the newcomer greeted, voice warm but stiff. If the Waynes hadn’t all had years of recognizing when a person was only pretending to be cordial, they never would have suspected that the boy was anything but pure-heartedly happy to be there. But they did have that experience, and thus they instantly honed in on the very well-hidden fact that he had a bone to pick with them. Or, more probably, with Bruce.

He cut an impressive figure, for all that he was lithe muscle instead of bulk. Hair that was lighter than Chloe’s, less like cloth-of-gold and more like sunlight glinting off of wheatfields. It somehow hung in gravity-defying tufts, yet perfectly arranged to evoke a calming aesthetic. Like the fluff of a long-haired cat, almost, and it looked just as fluffy and hypnotizing. It contrasted with his emerald eyes, impossibly vibrant in their gleam. And the suit he wore was decidedly top-notch, much like the other two they had met from his class. He was daring, in a dark silver suit that slightly shifted in the light, green accents that matched his eyes standing out strikingly against the collars and trim, and coiling in tantalizing swirls at the cuffs. The lining of the suit jacket was done in a dark green that could almost pass for black in the right lighting, adding a layer of both drama and mystery as it peeked out at the back of his collar, the insides of his sleeves if he moved just the right way, at the bottom hem of the jacket when he turned or bent just so. And with his notoriety in the modeling world? He always knew exactly how to move or place himself to get the reactions he wanted. And he was clearly showing off the craftsmanship of his suit just then as he faked adjusting his cufflinks and lifted his head just the right amount to both look challenging and let the dark green on the back of his collar flash in the light in such a way that Bruce and those nearest him wouldn’t be able to miss the brief reveal of color.

“Adrien Agreste,” Bruce greeted back, eyebrows pulling down in slight confusion. Normally the topic of clothing was far from his genuine interest, but in this particular case it was an intriguing, and possibly even concerning, observation. So he said next; “That suit is not of your father’s usual style of design.”

Adrien scoffed, straightening out his suit’s jacket and making the obsidian buttons glint. “Of course not. I’ve started my rebellious phase— or, well, I finally started being blatant enough about it that my father noticed anyway,” the way his lips curled was decidedly not very attractive, but painted a vivid picture of a son who despised the way he was treated. Adrien quickly wiped the distasteful expression away and replaced it with a camera-ready smile. “I’m wearing one of Marinette’s designs, much to his chagrin. She insisted on making this for me as soon as she heard that my father was planning on sending me in a white suit.”

Bruce quickly caught on, and sighed. How long would the gala go on for, again? He didn’t remember what time it was anymore. “Your friend Chloe already got a pretty clear warning in. I suppose you know as well?”

Adrien’s grin darkened with mischief, and he nodded all too happily. “Of course! Marinette told me almost as soon as she found out, a few years ago. You see, we had to put down a very solid rule about secrets between the two of us. She has a bad habit of trying to shoulder the entire world’s problems and not tell anyone about it, if you don’t pay close enough attention,” his voice was deceptively light but his eyes were hard, warning. “And let’s just say, I have a lot of experience with bad father figures. I can recognize them a mile away by now. The signs of neglect, of apathy,” his eyes suddenly lightened when he saw how Bruce’s throat visibly caught, how the man didn’t seem to realize he had stopped breathing. Maybe he was being a little to mean, Adrien thought. So he let the dark slip out of his eyes, and his smile turned more genuine. “You don’t have those signs. You looked at Marinette like you were both the happiest and most miserable man in the world at the same time. But you can’t change what you did to her, Mister Wayne. If you want some advice from Marinette’s oldest friend?” Adrien held out a closed fist.

Bruce took a second to realize what was happening, too busy trying to recover from his situational whiplash and wave of relief. Once he caught back up to the present, however, he held out his open palm and let Adrien drop something into his hand.

To his shock, it was a pen, engraved with the name he recognized as Marinette’s biological mother. He also recognized it as a popular model of pen-knife. He raised his eyes to Adrien, who winked.

“Marinette doesn’t know I had this made. And she has a lot of tricks that might surprise you, but what she wants more than anything is stability. If you try to give her that, show that you care and you want her safe— and then prove that you’re gonna stay— then maybe you can repair the damage you’ve done. It won’t be easy though, Mari is the single most stubborn person I’ve ever met. And I grew up with Chloe.”

Bruce closed his hand around the pen, swallowing a lump in his throat. He couldn’t quite figure out why, but Adrien’s faith in him and his help… somehow felt significant. He nodded to the young model.

“Not to worry, I have experience with stubborn,” he glanced back at his other kids with a small smirk. None of them were the least bit repentant. “And I do want to stay. Thank you for the advice.”

Adrien shrugged. “Don’t thank me. If you hurt her again, you’ll never see my revenge coming. It can be rather… catastrophic,” with that ominous threat, Adrien bowed dramatically and turned to leave and do some rounds charming the elites. Bruce tucked the pen in one of his hidden pockets, but stayed silent after that. He had a lot to mull over.

—*—*—*—*—*

Damian leaned on the railing of the balcony, looking out over the gardens behind the gala’s venue. He was glaring at nothing, and his hands trembled from where they gripped the rail. It was five minutes, a little longer than he had expected but not that odd considering everyone’s distraction over Marinette, before he heard the glass doors behind him creak open.

“Yo,” Jason greeted, knowing it was better not to catch the boy off guard. None of them were good with surprises anymore, for good reason. It was always best to announce their presence before they made someone react violently on accident. Damian’s shoulders relaxed a little— not a lot, but enough for Jason to notice. The older man sighed, walking up and leaning on the rail next to his little brother. “What’s on your mind, kid?”

“That could have been me,” he almost instantly blurted. It was still hard talking about his feelings, but certain things were easier with Todd. This was, apparently, one of them. “If Mother hadn’t kept me a secret.”

“I don’t think so,” Jason disagreed, shrugging. “There are several big differences here. For one, Marinette was born three years before you were. By the time you were born, he already had Dick and he would have only been a year, max, away from taking me in. Which means he already had built up his problem with taking in kids, and nothing would have gotten him to give up a chance at raising you. With or without Batman getting in the way.”

“But then why—” Damian growled. “Why did he give her up?”

“Because he’s an idiot,” Jason remarked bluntly. “You know how he is. He didn’t have a kid at the time. Hell, Bruce would have only been twenty-two back then. He only adopted Dick on impulse because Dick reminded him of himself, but before all of that shit? He probably made a million excuses about not being able to raise a baby and be Batman at the same time. About his life being too dangerous for a kid. Which, yes it is, but that clearly didn’t stop him later.”

“She’s older,” Damian muttered, this time softer.

“Yup.”

“Her mother wasn’t an assassin, probably. She designs. I hate to admit it, and you are never to repeat it to anybody, but her work that we’ve seen so far is impressive. She can clearly charm even the most stuck-up of gotham’s upper crust.”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed neutrally, his eyes never leaving Damian.

“Father won’t need me. He already doesn’t have much patience—” Damian was cut off by a flick to the nose. “Hey!”

“Not my fault you’re being stupid,” Jason defended himself. “Look, B’s actually been real patient with you these past few years. I mean, when was the last time he yelled at you? Or told you that stupid ‘justice not vengeance’ line?”

Damian opened his mouth, then closed it. After another moment, he replied; “Almost two years.”

Jason nodded. “It might take him way too long, but he can still learn new tricks. Especially after that mess with Heretic, he’s been trying really hard to be better to you. He still screws up, because I think we all know by now that he’s a bigger mess than any of the rest of us and that’s an accomplishment, but he’s trying. He doesn’t keep you around because he needs you. He’s got plenty of us around if all he wanted was soldiers— though none of us would stick around if we thought that’s all he wanted.”

Damian flexed his jaw. He was still the most violent of the kids, besides Jason. He saw Bruce rubbing his forehead or pinching his nose far too often at some of his decisions or comments. He was stubborn, impatient, reckless.

But hadn’t Bruce himself told him on several occasions that he wasn’t trying to make him a perfect soldier? Hadn’t Bruce himself said that he just wanted Damian to grow into himself?

It was just really hard to swat away those stupid voices in Damian’s head. Voices of the past, mostly, old dialogue he had never actually forgotten. That he merely pretended had never affected him. The “you’re too violent”s, the “that’s not how we behave, Damian”s. All the old lectures, the old fights. They echoed like stupid little gremlins of doubt.

“...Marinette has his eyes.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over something like that,” Jason’s voice was soft, but gruff at the same time as he cuffed Damian over the head. “You didn’t choose to be born, idiot. And despite being a little demon, none of us would reverse it, You’ve saved all our skins at least once. And besides,” he nudged Damian a little with a grin. “You’re not half bad, nowadays.”

Damian chuckled. “That makes one of us.”

“Hey!”

@peterxwade24 @mizzy-pop @maskedpainter @ladybug-182 @khneltea @itsmeevie01 @fusser90 @woe-is-me0 @lolieg @moonlightstar64 @jayjayspixiepop

[marshmallow-xphile]

My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

[thewhiskersonkittens]

The Talk

Johnny finds out Cassie is on birth control and has the conversation every dad looks forward to having with his daughter. (Not!) One-Shot. Fluff. Rated K+. Some minor language.

It wasn't like he was the "sitting on the front porch and cleaning his shotgun" type of girl dad, or in his case, a Desert Eagle. Even though he'd love nothing more to show the little shits Cassie brought home as dates that, no, the gun was not a fake prop from one of his movie sets and, yes, he really knew how to use it.

Besides it gave him enough amusement knowing the boys knew he was a famous action movie star and that he was more than capable of breaking every bone in their bodies if he wanted to.

He figured Cassie would have this conversation with her mother. Maybe they already did, but Johnny knew Sonya and Cassie didn't always have a super close mother-daughter bond. She loved both of her parents dearly but deep down Johnny knew Cassie was one hundred percent daddy's girl and it made him feel so proud.

He did a simple errand. It was a task he would have left for his assistant to do for him back in his Hollywood glory days, a pickup at the drug store. His doctor wrote him a prescription for a painkiller, something to take temporarily, for a recent stunt move gone wrong. Falling the right way was key with stunts otherwise you ended up with a banged up shoulder that throbbed day and night.

He went inside, not worried about any unwanted attention. People stopped recognizing him a while ago or if they did notice him they didn't bother him as much. It was peaceful, Johnny had to admit, to be able to go out in public and not be accosted by press and fans like it was way back when. However, it also kind of stung. It was like a daily reminder he was passed his prime. The press didn't care anymore and his fans had all grown up, just like him. It made him feel old and irrelevant if he was being completely honest with himself.

"Hi, Mr. Carlton," the pharmacist said when he approached the counter. Johnny used his real name for things like this.

"Looks like you've got two for pickup?"

Johnny wrinkled his brow.

"Check again there, buddy," he said, peering over the bridge of his sunglasses.

He could have swore his doctor wrote only one prescription but he wasn't always the best listener.

The pharmacist tapped on the computer keyboard and shuffled the bags in his hands, re-reading the labels again.

"Oh, you're right," He said. “Looks like this one is for a Cassandra Carlton. My bad. "

"Wait a sec," Johnny said. “Cassandra Carlton?” He said her birthday and the pharmacist nodded.

"Yes, that's correct."

"That's my daughter," Johnny explained.

Huh, Cass is healthy as a horse, he thought. She never took anything other than vitamins as far as he knew. 

Johnny told the man at the counter he'd go ahead and pay for it. It was probably nothing to be concerned about.

"OK, so we've got the pain medication and the oral contraceptives." The pharmacist hit some keys.

"Your total is..."

Did this guy just say oral contraceptives? Johnny thought. For who?! He wondered and then remembered it was for Cassie.

Johnny didn't remember what he said after that or even paying for the medication or driving back home. Everything felt like a blur.

Cassie was a smart and resourceful girl, he loved that about her. He recalled her saying something about going to a routine checkup a few days ago.

Cassie would be home from school in a few hours. What should he say or do? He pulled out his phone and considered texting Sonya. She probably wouldn't be able to reply back until hours later. What would he even be able to tell his ex-wife? Did she already know? Johnny doubted it as he re-pocketed his phone. He tried not to jump to conclusions while waiting to talk to his daughter.

* * *

He decided to leave the pharmacy bag on top of her dresser in her room without a word. She came home from school acting normal. Greeted him with a hug around his neck and quick peck on his cheek.

"You up for a training session, Dad?" Cassie asked Johnny. She sat her backpack down.

"Five bucks says I can whip your ass." She called out as she went to her room to change.

He loved this girl so much. She was so much like him but also so much like her mother, too.

"You're on. Don't underestimate your old man, pumpkin," He answered back, smiling.

He was sitting on the couch in the living room, half watching TV and half thumbing through the latest copy of the L.A. Times. He watched her disappear down the hallway. She had grown out her hair over the last few years, resembling Sonya more and more.

He flipped through a few more pages of the newspaper and then quickly lost interest, folded it up and tossed it on the coffee table in front of him. He switched off the TV and stood up. Cassie was observant. She would notice the pharmacy bag right away. Johnny could feel his insides flip flopping around. How was Cassie going to react? What would she say? More importantly, what was he going to say?!

"Cass?" Johnny called out.

"Yeah, Dad?" She hesitated before replying, he noticed. She saw the bag, he just knew it.

"I'm gonna change and I'll meet you in the gym, all right?" He said.

"OK, I'll be right there," She said.

* * *

 So far Cassie wasn't saying a peep and the longer it went on, the more it drove Johnny crazy. He was dying to say something but this was one of the rare occasions that actually made him speechless. He always wanted her to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about anything. Anything but this apparently.

I know this is awkward, honey, but don't keep secrets from me. He thought.

They were standing in their home gym, Johnny was holding the punching bag as Cassie practiced on it.

"How's school going?" Johnny asked.

POW! POW! POW! Cassie banged on the bag.

"Ah, ya know. Same old-same-old," She said, casually.

"Fast Times at Beverly Hills High?” He joked.

He immediately felt like a dork when he saw her brow wrinkle with confusion. She didn't always get his 80's and 90's movie references which was a shame, in his opinion.

“C'mon, Cass, I raised you better than that!” He would often tease about her movie illiteracy and she'd roll her eyes at him pretending to be annoyed but actually amused just like Sonya would do back in the day.

POW, POW, POW! Cassie was throwing in some kicks now.

"How's your friends, Cass?" Johnny asked, gripping the bag harder.

“Everything cool with them?”

"Yeah, they're fine, Dad," Cassie's reply seemed a little short to him but maybe he was reading too much into it.

Cassie released a flurry of punches on the bag and then abruptly stopped almost as quickly as she started.

"I need a break," She breathlessly uttered, using a towel to wipe her forehead.

Johnny agreed.

They took a water break and then decided to work on crunches next.

Johnny held down Cassie's feet as she did the repetitions.

Halfway through the set, Cassie stopped. She lay on her back looking directly up at the ceiling for a moment and then forced herself to sit up to look at her father in the face.

"Dad," She said. "I need to talk to you about something."

“Sure, kiddo.”

Her blue eyes were filled with worry but she went on:

"I guess you went to the pharmacy today?"

Johnny sat crossed legged on the floor next to her.

He nodded. "Yep, I sure did. I went to get the pain pills for my shoulder but it turned out you also had something ready there for pickup so I went ahead got it for you. Saved you a trip. You’re welcome."

He winked and Cassie smiled at his comment which made Johnny feel good. She was visibly nervous as she asked him if he knew what her prescription was.

"Yeah," He answered. "I was hoping maybe you could fill me in a little more."

Oh God, here it comes, Johnny thought.

"Um, well...ya see, Daddy...I...um..."

Cassie picked at an imaginary thread on her yoga pants as she struggled to find the words. It's so unlike her, he thought. His daughter oozed a certain cocky confidence, a trait he knew damn well she inherited from him.

"Well, you remember Dylan, right?" Cassie asked. "I went to Homecoming with him last fall and then we broke up for a bit but now we've been back together for a while and um, well...we, uh,...have gotten really close and uh..."

Cassie couldn't spit it out so Johnny finally took a more direct approach.

"Cass. Are you having sex? Yes or no?" He asked, soft yet firm.

She looked at him stunned for a moment and then finally nodded.

"Yes," She admitted. Her cheeks flushed several different shades of pink.

Johnny shut his eyes. Dylan? He wondered. Which one was that? He was desperately trying to attach a face to the name so he knew exactly which kid to put the fear of the Elder Gods in. They all looked the same to him as far as he recalled.

He rubbed his forehead. So there it was. Yes, his daughter was on The Pill and yes, it was because she was having sex. His insides flip flopped again. He couldn't stand to picture the thought of some horny teenage douche-bag, naked and all over his daughter. Especially since he himself had been that same horny teenage douche-bag once upon a time with someone else’s daughter. The little shit probably told her he "loves her," Johnny thought. Guys will say anything to get in your pants, Cass, and trust me, I would know.

"Daddy?" Cassie said, interrupting his thoughts and making him re-open his eyes. "Are you OK?"

Noooo! He wanted to yell. Why can’t you wait until you’re like...I dunno know…twenty something?!…I don’t like this…What’s the SOB’s name again and where does he live?...

Instead he told himself to get a grip and calmly said:

"Yeah, I'm OK."

He met her eyes then as uncomfortable as it was for both them.

"Whose decision was this? To take this step? Was it yours?"

"It was both of ours," Cassie started but Johnny shook his head.

“Oh, believe me, princess, I know he was OK with it.” He scoffed. "But are you OK with it? Is it your decision or are you doing it just to make him happy?"

Cassie shook her head. "Oh, no. Nothing like that. It was my decision. I wanted to. No pressure at all."

Johnny sighed but he didn't necessarily feel relieved. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Are you mad at me?" Cassie asked, carefully. She was staring at him, concern filling her eyes.

"No, I'm not mad at you, Cass," He sighed again. “I mean, I’m not thrilled at all but I'm glad you told me. And I'm glad you’re being smart about it”, referring to her getting on The Pill.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Is, uh…lover-boy doing his part and keeping it wrapped up?"

Cassie's jaw dropped and she blushed like crazy again.

"OMG, Dad! Eww, don't ask me stuff like that, please!" She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

"Sorry," He said.  "I just want you to be safe, is all. That's all I care about."

He knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. She was not only a Cage, she was a Blade.

Despite that, he would never stop worrying about her and always want to protect her no matter how old she was.

She surprised him by reaching over and taking his hand in hers. She gave it a warm squeeze.

"Does your mom know about this?" Johnny finally asked.

Cassie released his hand and turned her head away.

"Cassie?" He prompted.

She sighed and looked back at him.

"No, I haven't told her," She quietly admitted.

"Please don't tell her. I'll tell her."

“You’re gonna have to or I will," Johnny answered although he wasn't exactly sure what Sonya's reaction would be.

She'd probably be more upset with me than with Cassie for some reason, he mused.

Sonya was a lot stricter on Cassie than he was but that didn't mean she didn't have a compassionate side to her.

"Your mother is a lot more understanding than you think, Cass," Johnny reassured her. "Just talk to her."

Cassie made an indescribable facial expression like she didn't quite believe him.

"I really love her," Cassie said. “And I miss her so much.”

"I know. She feels the same way about you. Trust me."

This time Johnny covered Cassie's hand with his.

She smiled at him and said:

"Daddy?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you."

“I love you, too, pumpkin.”

[diamcndgirl]

have you ever thought to yourself, “hmm, i love one direction and i love waltrp... i wonder what would happen if we gave every taken character a one direction song that reminds me of them??” well, don’t worry because even if it never crossed your mind because it did for me. i’m back once again with another silly little #waltmeme for you with songs by one direction or their solo albums that remind me of your characters. the choices can have something to do with a certain lyric, the title, or just the all around vibe it gives me that makes me think of them. don’t worry everything is under ‘read more’ and in alphabetical order-- or whatever order the taken list is in. p.s. not everyone has a blurb. but i still had a reason for everyone. if you really wanna know why just dm me and i'll give an explanation. love u mean it.

ALEJANDRO DIAZ - STOLE MY HEART / ONE DIRECTION

“you stole my heart with just one look” alejandro, my love, my heart. it’s clear the reason i chose this song is because it talks about having something stolen. but, you and your band of misfit criminal friends can steal my heart any day.

AURORA CAPULET - LITTLE THINGS / ONE DIRECTION

“i can’t let these little things slip out of my mouth” aurora you may be thinking.. this song talks about all my imperfections why would you pick such a thing? oh no! it’s not because i think you’re imperfect at all. it’s because i’m totally in love with all the little things that make you who you are.. and not to mention i couldn’t not give you a ballad. 

ANNA ARNADALR - HEY ANGEL / ONE DIRECTION

“hey angel do you ever try to come to the other side?” this whole song has anna vibes. anna, you’re an angel.. did you know that? well, angel… when you aren’t busy trying to fix your sisterly connection come to the other side and hang out with me.

BECKHAM TEAGUE - NICE TO MEET YA / NIALL

“i want your number tattooed on my arm in ink i swear.” the song, the lyrics, the vibe all just fits beckham’s personality very well. 

BENNET DOE - SWEET CREATURE / HARRY

“sweet creature running through the garden oh where nothing bothered us.”  sweet, soft, and lovely bennet.. sweet creature is one of my favorite songs in the world and it reminds me so much of you. i couldn’t pick a character better than you to give it to. 

BARLEY LIGHTFOOT - CANYON MOON / HARRY

“i keep thinking back to a time under the canyon moon.” lyrically this song doesn’t fit you, barley. not truly. but, aesthetically it reminds me of you very much. you’re adventurous and a little out there just like this harry styles tune. the bridge especially gives me a vibe of riding around in guinevere out on an adventure.

CASSANDRA JAGER - ONLY THE BRAVE / LOUIS

“tall stories on the page, short glories on the fade.” cassandra reminds me of strength and being brave (wink wink). and this song just reminds me of you, cass. though short it gives me a feeling like i can kick some ass. 

DANI DENNISON - THROUGH THE DARK / ONE DIRECTION

“oh i will carry you over fire and water for your love and i will hold you closer hope your heart is strong enough.” i love dani.. like really really love your sweet soul. she’s the cutest truly. just the sound and lyrics remind me so much of her and her heart to help the ones she cares about. 

DAPHNE BLAKE - LITTLE BLACK DRESS / ONE DIRECTION

“i wanna see the way you move for me, baby” clearly this song isn’t anything to write home about lyrically. but, when i hear this song i get all excited and ready to go take on the world. something about it makes me feel like i’m the hottest girl in the room and it should go to the hottest girl in the room.. which is you, daphne.

ELIZABETH MCQUEEN - WOMAN / HARRY 

“i hope you can see, the shape that I’m in while he’s touching your skin.” hi elizabeth.. this song is just hot. you’re just hot.. i really am jealous of monty and would take his place at any given moment if you let me.

ELSA ARNADALR - DON’T LET IT BREAK YOUR HEART / LOUIS

“don’t you let it kill you even when it hurts like hell. oh, whatever tears you apart don’t let it break your heart.” elsa, you’re truly the strongest girl i know. this song just radiates that energy of getting over what you’ve been through and not letting it break you down. 

EMILY LORELEYN - BLUE / ZAYN

“in the clouds where the angels sing. in your eyes, where i wanna be and her smile is all i see….. i need someone to love me blue.” emily is a goddess okay.. like she’s so beautiful and kindhearted. this song is so beautiful and then also the ‘love me blue’. reminds me of her origin and how she waited for love until she passed and turned blue. 

EUGENE FITZHERBERT - ONE WAY OR ANOTHER (TEENAGE KICKS) / ONE DIRECTION

“and when the lights are all out.. i’ll follow your bus downtown.” oh horace.. this whole song just fits you so well.. the teenage kicks mashup with the joan jett classic. it just embodies you so well. i don’t think i could’ve picked a better song for you. 

FLORIAN CHARMONT - NIGHT CHANGES / ONE DIRECTION

FRANCIS KYDD - SOMETHING GREAT / ONE DIRECTION

“come on, jump out at me. come on, bring everything. is it too much to ask for something great? the script was written and i could not change a thing. i want to rip it all to shreds and start again.” there isn’t a real lyrical reason i picked this song for you, francis. just something about it made me think of you. just gave me a feeling that it was theatrical enough for you, dear.

FRAN BERNOULLI - NO CONTROL / ONE DIRECTION

“i just can’t get enough of you the pedal’s down, my eyes are closed. no control” did i pick this song because you’re a race car driver and it made me giggle… yes, and because i haven an uncontrollable crush on you, fran. 

FRED FREDRICKSON - SAVE YOU TONIGHT / ONE DIRECTION

“i, i wanna save you. wanna save your heart tonight. he’ll only break ya. leave you torn apart inside.” fredzilla, my absolute favorite hero. i dedicate this to you. simple but effective.

FREDDY JONES - END OF THE DAY / ONE DIRECTION

GEORGIE FOXWORTH - SOUR DIESEL / ZAYN

GRACELYNN MOON - HAPPILY / ONE DIRECTION

this is my favorite one direction song, gracie and i’m giving it to you. so take care of it and understand that it’s upbeat sound reminds me of you and your cute behind.

HADES VASILIKAS - STOCKHOLM SYNDROME / ONE DIRECTION

you steal people. but if you stole me.. i’d fall in love. that’s all really.

HAVEN LEMOS - STEAL MY GIRL / ONE DIRECTION

HERCULES ZERVOUS - STRONG / ONE DIRECTION 

get it because you’re strong? hehe.

HOWL PENDRAGON - ILLUSION / ONE DIRECTION

IAN LIGHTFOOT - MAGIC / ONE DIRECTION

JACK FROST - LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW / LIAM

i’m sorry but i’m not sorry i chose this song for you, jack. feel free to hate me forever. 

JIM HAWKINS - WE MADE IT / LOUIS

KIARA SANTUCCI - NOBODY COMPARES / ONE DIRECTION

LILO PELEKAI -  SHE’S NOT AFRAID / ONE DIRECTION

LOGAN TEAGUE - TEENAGE DIRTBAG / ONE DIRECTION

LUCA PAGURO - SUMMER LOVE / ONE DIRECTION

MAEL CALCIFER - FIREPROOF / ONE DIRECTION

“i’m feeling something deep inside. hotter than a jet stream burning up.” i’d only want to be fireproof for you, mael. there is just something about you that wins my heart. i’d walk through fire for you.

MAVIS VADUVA - 

MEG DIMITRIOU - SHE / HARRY 

MOLLIE SILVER - KISS YOU / ONE DIRECTION

MONTY MCQUEEN - ROCK ME / ONE DIRECTION

“hit the pedal heavy metal, show me you care.” not only do i want you to rock me, monty. the only reason i chose this song is because i have a nascar inspired shirt for this and it reminds me of you. 

NALA OMITA - NEW ANGEL / NIALL HORAN

NUKA LEU - PILLOWTALK / ZAYN

ORION BARTHOLOMEW - KIWI / HARRY 

orion, are we sure you’ve never had a woman accuse you of being her baby daddy? either way, this songs vibe just makes sense for you, dear.

PENELOPE HAINLINE - GIRL ALMIGHTY / ONE DIRECTION

“she floats through the room on a big balloon. some say she’s such a fake that her love is made up.” penny, you are aware you’re the literal coolest girl in the world this song just proves it more. 

PHILIP CHARMONT - WOLVES / ONE DIRECTION

REAGAN CYMBELINE - SUNFLOWER VOL 6 / HARRY

“sunflower my eyes want you more than a melody.” reagan, besides the fact you’re a literal walking and talking sunflower there is just a sweet feeling i get when i hear this song and its the same feeling i get when i think of you. 

RITA HOLDEN - ONLY ANGEL / HARRY 

SADIE TEAGUE - KILL MY MIND / LOUIS

SIMBA SANTUCCI - TIO / ZAYN

SHAGGY ROGERS  - WHAT A FEELING / ONE DIRECTION

SOPHIE HATTER - ADORE YOU / HARRY

THACKERY BINX - SMALL TALK / NIALL

VITANI LEU - MIDNIGHT MEMORIES / ONE DIRECTION

“tell me that i’m wrong but i do what i please.” vitani, if anyone in elias is gonna say fuck you i’m doing what i want.. it’s you. 

VELMA DINKLEY  - BACK FOR YOU / ONE DIRECTION

VIDIA BELLEFONTE - SHE / ZAYN

WALLY AXIOM - PERFECT / ONE DIRECTION

WILL TURNER - LIKE I WOULD / ZAYN

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzeltopia

This episode, much like many other plot important episodes of the first two seasons, is decent on it its own, but becomes retroactively worse due to season three’s bad writing and behind the scenes bullshit. 

Summary:  Matthews reveals himself as another dark spirit and disciple of Zhan Tiri, and traps Eugene, Lance and the others in unbreakable vines similar to the Great Tree's evil magic. He has Rapunzel live the perfect life while he prepares to hand over the mystical powers of the Sundrop to his master. Fortunately, Rapunzel is able to make contact with her brown-haired dream self and attempts to convince her to let go. 

Timeline Alert

So what does almost a year ago mean? The Great Tree was six months out, and then in Mirror, Mirror, Lance said that they been fighting for three weeks since. So how long have then been stuck in this shell house? Because You’re Kidding Me was just the next day after Mirror, Mirror. Was Lance’s ‘three weeks’ comment meant to be after Brothers Hooks and Rapunzel: Day One and not Great Tree? Are we 7, 8, 9, or 10 months out from Secret of the Sundrop? Like be clear about your time frame guys if you’re going to use it as a plot point. 

I’m going to say we are 9 months along on this trip, just cause that sounds closer to ‘almost a year ago’ without keeping them all trapped in the shell house for months. So Great Tree is 6 months, Brother’s Hook and Rapunzel Day One is 7 months, Mirror, Mirror is going on 8 months, and at the end of this episode they’ll be heading into the 9 month period...I guess. Lets just say they were trapped there for a week or two. 

This Episode Only Highlights How Self Centered and Immature Rapunzel Still Is Rather Than Showcase How Much She’s Grown 

The point behind this episode is show how much Rapunzel has grown since season one, and how she is accepting of responsibility now, but it actually backfires because she’s not actually being challenged on her selfish desires but on her lack of agency. Which is the wrong lesson that she needs to be learning at this point in her development.

Rapunzel in her subconscious mind doesn’t wish for what’s best for other people but what’s best for herself. People she must interact with on the regular have to be superficially happy even if it completely warps their character. While people she doesn't care about, like Lady Caine, can just be simply banished and ignored regardless if they deserve such an end or not.  She doesn’t see people as people with individual thoughts and feelings, but as satellites to herself and her narrow worldview.  

 Also, ‘I believe everyone deserves a second chance’ my eye! Caine never gets even a first chance in Rapunzel’s own fantasy world. Because Rapunzel is a selfish hypocrite who’s ‘redemptions’ always comes with strings attached. 

Here Comes the Dumbest Plot Point In the Show

I’ll talk about this more when we get to season three, but this scene is the beginning of the end for any dignity the show once held. 

Also why would ‘I don’t trust anyone’ Cassandra follow a creepy voice calling her name through a doorway inside a magic house that’s tried to kill her twice now? 

If you gotta make you character act out of character in order to get your plot rolling than you haven’t a good plot. Think of something else. 

What’s the Point of Having Two Names? 

They did this both with Sugarbee and Matthews here and it makes zero sense. Why would they need to bother with fake names if the heroes wouldn’t even recognize their real names to begin with? Such revelations add nothing and fails to tell the audience anything new about the characters.  It’s also not consistent as it turns out Gothel was a disciple too and she only gets one name, so what gives? 

So How Does This All Work Again?

So Zhan Tiri needs ‘a clash of the sundrop and moonstone’ in order to be freed from her prison. Why? I don’t know, but holding Rapunzel prisoner for life actually undermines that plan, and it’s a plan that Zhan Tiri is currently setting up with Cassandra off screen during all of this. 

So does Tromus/Matthews just not know that Zhan Tiri is already ‘free’ and has her own plans?

Is Rapunzel’s power being drained what gives Zhan Tiri a foothold in the real world?

Or was Zhan Tiri released back in the Great Tree with the removal of the spear and that’s why she knows to go after Cass? 

What was up with the Great Tree and the sealed tree back in Painter’s Block? Did they have any impact on Zhan Tiri’s plans?  

Were any of the disciples actually useful at all? 

So What Do the Disciples Gain From All This?

Sugarbee, Matthews, and Gothel were all once real people who actually lived so what are their reasons for following Zhan Tiri? What do they gain from going through such complicated plans? Why continue to follow someone after you’ve been dead for centuries and are a ghost now, and were presumably trapped and or killed by Demantius for following her? Real people don’t just hold on to such fanatical devotion without reason. 

This Conflict Over Choices Does Not Work Without Varian

Going back to how this episode fails to develop Rapunzel; it wants to have Rapunzel take responsibility for difficult choices, but much like Painters Block, it completely ignores her biggest fuck up thereby undermining why she has trouble with owning up to hard choices.  

Rapunzel ruined a child’s life. She may not have meant to but she did, and thus far she has done nothing to make amends for it. She’s not even spared the poor boy a single thought beyond seeing him as the boogeyman in a nightmare once. 

You can’t have Rapunzel take responsibility for anything if you won’t hold her accountable for anything.  

Varian was meant to appear in this episode, and indeed he should have for the above reason. 

But of course Chris had to give us a bullshit excuse for why he cut the most plot important character from the series. 

I’ve already spoken about how Varian’s cameo in Happiness Is did nothing to actually further develop Rapunzel nor explore her guilt back in that review. In this episode, however, I want to discuss how hollow the comparisons to Gothel is and why there shouldn’t logically have been any competition between the two. 

Varian and Gothel provide two completely different conflicts and two completely different points of development for Rapunzel’s arc. Gothel is the instigator of her conflict with Rapunzel. Rapunzel, as the victim, has only one thing to learn, self esteem. She learned it back in the movie, she relearned it back in the season one, and here she’s re-contextualizing it for this episode’s mini-arc. 

Meanwhile Rapunzel is the instigator of her conflict with Varian. She’s the one with the power in their relationship and her choices matter. She doesn’t need to learn agency because she already has it. What she needs to learn is responsibility and she can’t do that without confronting Varian and what she did in some manner. So unlike with Gothel there only new ground to cover here rather than rehashing old conflicts. 

Chris Sonnenburg has things all backwards. Rapunzel’s agency/self-esteem issues and her need to take responsibility for her actions are not interchangeable conflicts. Addressing one does not automatically address the other, and of the two her conflict with responsibility holds more weight because it’s ongoing. We haven’t seen the resolvement there. It also affects more people than just herself so the stakes are higher there as well. And to top it all off, it fits with the themes of the episode better. 

Also, you very much could have had both characters because they both reflect different conflicts and serve different purposes in the narrative. Time management in television is a very big deal yes, but you have little grounds for defense when all you’ve shown is how poorly you’ve managed your time until now. 

In short, Chris is full of shit. 

No, It Wouldn’t

We’ve already established that there’s no need for Rapunzel to go on her quest in season two. The black rocks are inactive, there’s no ticking clock she has to beat, and her staying at home would have actually prevented the conflicts in season three. 

Unless dream Rapunzel is referring to Zhan Tiri being released, but even that is false because Zhan Tiri is already floating around a little blue ghost girl off screen right now. What Rapunzel choses or chooses not to do does not change that. 

Lack of external conflict undermines internal conflict.  

Just Cause You Make A Meta Joke About Your Heroes Being Dumb For No Reason, Does Not Make Them Any Less Stupid 

Jokingly admitting a fault in your writing doesn’t not excuse that fault. If you can’t have a plot without handing the idiot ball to your characters than you haven’t a good plot. Time to go back to drawing board. 

Season Three Will Go Back On This Episode’s Message and Prove the Villian Right

I’ve liget seen fans unironically praise the show for it’s message of ‘be content with what you have’. Not only is that a terrible lesson to teach children; it’s actually the exact opposite of what the show is trying to achieve.

“Be satisfied” is suppose to be the wrong motto. Rapunzel is suppose to be fighting against this message. In the episode itself it’s the villian who is saying such things in order to tempt her to stay put. 

So how could anyone look at the show as a whole and come away with idea that the one off villain was right along? 

Because season three does a complete 180 away from its original messages regarding agency and responsibility. All consequences disappear from the story and the mains are given convenient scapegoats to distract from their decisions. Characters actively regress and are rewarded by the narrative for either not doing anything or for victim blaming others for their actions. 

But most damaging of all is the fact that nearly everyone winds up back where they started out at, or aren’t given a proper ending at all. Tangled’s story is just one giant circle and that in of itself contradicts the idea of progress.  

Cassandra’s Hurt Hand Is Only Relevant When The Story Wants Rapunzel to Feel Guilty About Something  

Oh but we can just throw Cassandra’s burnt hand in here as a substitute Rapunzel’s guilt over Varian. Even though the two incidents should actually complement one another rather than compete for dominance. 

Tangled doesn’t trust its audience to remember things. It acts like if it’s off screen or not being focused upon than it’s not happening or isn’t relevant. This undermines any ongoing or overarching conflicts.  

Why should we care about Cassandra’s arm if she’s been shown as being fine with it for four episodes by now? Especially since it’ll never come up again after this point? And on the flip side of things, why should the audience not care about the 15 year old who has been sitting in a dungeon for almost a year now due to Rapunzel’s neglect?  

We’re not magpies who are quickly distracted by shiny new things. We are capable of retaining information and informing decisions based off of that. Especially if Chris was shooting for the teen audience as he claims he was. 

Oh But We Got Time For Godzilla-Pascal 

Can’t spare even half a minute for a Varian cameo that would be relevant, but we sure got time to waste on a pointless action sequence that does nothing to further the character in what is meant to be a character development episode. 

This Scene Is Out of Character 

That’s not how abuse works! 

The whole reason why Gothel was able to keep Rapunzel under her thumb for 18 years because Rapunzel always sought her approval. Never at any point, even when finally choosing to break away from her in the movie, did Rapunzel wish to harm the woman. That goes against who she is as a character and it’s not how abuse victims respond to abusers even after cutting things off with them. 

If anything, Rapunzel’s treatment of Frederic in Happiness Is is more in line with how a victim goes about mourning the loss of an abusive relationship. Victims grieve for what might have been. Victims mourn the loss of what good times they had with their abusers, because yes, abusers aren’t abusive 100% of the time 24/7. They can’t be or they risk losing their victim quicker.  

I initially was ok with flashbacks to Gothel on occasion because no victim ever makes a completely clean break from their abuser. Even ‘moving on’ isn’t some triumphant singular action when you stand tall while you knock your opponent down in a wish fulfilment fantasy.

No. ‘Moving on’ is slow. It’s understated. It’s routine. It’s about being able to do the dishes without getting triggered. It’s sitting at lunch with friends and being happy and calm without the fear of returning home hanging over your head. It’s not skipping out on work because your anxiety is through the roof over just meeting with your boss. It’s not devolving into a yelling match over something minor because you internalize your abusers behavior.  

Abuse victims don’t celebrate violence as strength. We celebrate being an unmovable mountain of clam fortitude. Being in control even as the world rages at us, because we’re self assured. 

The fact that this scene exists, while Happiness Is shows Rapunzel behaving the opposite way to the father who abused her the same as Gothel did, only proves that a man shouldn’t have been in charge of this show. Certainly not without a woman by his side giving equal input. 

Stop Using Destiny as a Shorthand for Everything!

Destiny isn’t a catch all word that can mean whatever you want it to. Words have definitions for a reason. Destiny isn’t a goal nor does it equate to agency and responsibility; kind of the opposite in fact. 

Well That Was Redundant

All we did was rehash Rapunzel’s season one arc in under half in hour. Nothing new was learned. It’s like writers don’t know how to resolve any conflict that isn’t a repeat of the first movie. Meanwhile actual unique conflicts are just sitting off to the side being ignored. All because the show’s creator doesn’t want to hold his precious self insert accountable for anything. 

Bye Bye Smart Cass, Hello Dumb Cass

So from this point onward the Cass we’ve known for nearly two seasons is gone. She’s just been replaced by the dumbest bitch on the planet. Because the writers don’t understand how manipulation and trauma actually works. Nor do they comprehend the importance of giving characters actual goals.  

Conclusion 

Season three is what retroactively spoils this episode. Cass’s dumb decision here, Zhan Tiri’s lack of a coherent plan, the uselessness of the disciples, and even the lack of Varian could have been glossed over had they writers given us a satisfying pay offs for any of the main conflicts. But they didn’t and so here we are. 

Also a small update, but after this review and starting next week, the Salt Marathon will go from bi weekly updates to only one a week. This is a combination of real life work getting in the way and the growing length of the reviews. This means we’ll hopefully be done come March, which would mark the show’s anniversary. I got some plans to celebrate if that works out. 

[supermanshield]

Finding this is hard

~~~

Yet despite his best efforts tonight, Clark smiles at him, and even through the screen and slightly distorted feed he feels the warmth. Tingling suppressed because it’s nothing like the real deal. The one he’s seen directed at Lois, or when Clark talks about Lana.

Bruce has accepted that Clark will never be interested in him. Until finally, Clark takes a chance.

~~~ 

Words: 5,242

A/N: This only started because I was thinking about the layout of Wayne Manor, and for some reason considered Tim’s room next to Bruce’s. It grew into something much bigger from there, became much too serious and I completely lost track of the humorous angle I wanted to go for at first. Yay angst.

Also, another one in Bruce’s POV, which I always considered harder than Clark’s POV, but I am also working on two+ things with POV Clark.

Read on AO3

 ______________________________________________

“Quiet night?” Soft thud of Clark’s boots on the rooftop behind him and footsteps walking over to where Bruce sits crouched at the edge. An affirmative grunt is all he gives Clark in return, eyes trained on the building across the street and listening to shards of conversation being fed to him by the cowl from the bugs he has planted earlier.

“Stakeout.”  

Minute flicker, Clark shifting in and out of focus, and he sits down next to Batman. “Turned the security camera on the corner over to the building with your guys in it.”

“Hnn. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Don’t use your superspeed though. Don’t need suspects scrambling because they see red and blue.”

He chances a look over at Clark. Squatting down on a grimy rooftop in Gotham, back against the half wall running around the perimeter – good, anyone on the street can only maybe see his black hair and Batman’s cowl blends into the dark of the night anyway –, and hair and cape wet from the rain is not a good look on Superman. He stands out like a sore thumb next to Batman, doesn’t belong here. Yet, it has been a long time since Bruce has sent him out of his city because of all that, his presence now a comfort that has crept up on Bruce. And Clark has learnt, too. Hiding in the shadows just like him and helpful to a level that used to be annoying. It’s not that Bruce is dependent on him for this kind of stuff, he really isn’t. He can just… welcome the company sometime. That’s okay.

“Did you have something to discuss?”

Clark shrugs, one corner of his mouth goes up. “Just thought I’d check up on you.”

“You can use the communicator for that.”

“Right.”

After a while of sitting like this, Clark’s hearing clearly focused on the same conversation as Bruce, they both perk up at the same time. Silently following the suspects is a job for Batman. He sends Superman away, tells him through his comm to go back to Metropolis and silently thanks him for the company.

Much later, after a meet-up with Robin at the docks and on their drive to the Cave, Red Robin behind them on his bike, Bruce considers his relationship with Clark. Damian stays silent in the seat beside him – lets him brood - , and when they get back to the cave, he and Tim (even Tim), both tired, disappear up to the house for a snack and sleep.

Maybe he has let Clark get too close. Got too comfortable around him and let down those meticulously crafted walls. Yet being around Clark isn’t painful anymore, feelings born out of curiosity evaporated a long time ago. A mere physical attraction shoved into the depths of his being when reciprocation turned out impossible. He’s accepted that, Clark is a friend, and Bruce is content with his family, as far as that is possible with two teenagers and an aggressive prepubescent son in the house, and more scattered across the city and the east-coast (he is). It was a necessity to keep Clark at arm’s length, before. Protect them, put yourself last, don’t be selfish, don’t let yourself fall (don’t pull Clark down).

He has even chased Selina for a bit in an attempt to settle down as expected of a man his age and his status, his name, but it ultimately wasn’t worth it. Selina obviously not the right person for settling down and his interest faked, a game of cat and mouse (bat).

So yes, he can be close to Clark. They are friends, after all.

----------

Clark’s brain is a super-computer and more human than Bruce’s at that. It comes in handy when filtering through recordings or data and Bruce can’t think of a better reason to invite him over for dinner and a joint case-study in the cave.

He doesn’t remember the last time Clark has been up in the house and not just in the cave. It’s ridiculous really, they’ve been friends for years, only Bruce hasn’t been acting like one while Clark has put in 100% effort (and only sporadically to the point of annoyance).

Friendship leads to bad things and more, like with Harvey. But Clark is not Harvey.

“Thanks for inviting me for dinner,” Clark says when they walk back down into the cave. “You didn’t have to, I mean. But it’s nice to talk about non-cape stuff for once and see you interact with your kids.”

“I didn’t invite you because I had to, Clark. We’re friends.” Fact, not question and (obviously) obvious to Clark.

“Of course.” But a dazzling smile in his direction (he finds he wants that, more, and that’s exactly why he can’t) and Bruce decides that now is as good a time as any to go on patrol and leave Clark with the brunt of the work that they started on earlier. A few quick commands and suits up, utility-belts packed, and Robin, Red Robin, Batgirl, and Batman speed out of the cave to go on patrol.

----------

A steaming cup of coffee appears on the desk in front of him and Clark sits down in the other chair and swivels towards him. It always goes like this; Bruce will come up early, ready for monitor duty whatever time of the day it is. Clark walks in almost a clockwork five minutes later, coffee or tea in both hands, a quick silent rush of his cape and he reappears with snacks, sometimes dinner (leftovers from Martha’s cooking, and Bruce hears his stomach growl in betrayal at the first waft of chicken, cooked vegetables, goulash). They often get paired up, being in the same time-zone and no one else wants to spend time with Batman much. Except maybe Diana, or J’onn. (But Diana pries too much, seeking out the truth. J’onn doesn’t pry at all, even though he could. With him it is hyper-focus and silence for most of 6 hours.)  

So, it’s fine with Clark, nothing’s expected and there is familiarity in their conversation. The time passes faster and he gladly chooses this over any board meeting where nothing ever gets done anyway. But today monitor duty is during his patrol, and Tim and Damian are out on their own. Together. Dick in Blüdhaven and Cassandra out of commission in bed. One of Bruce’s screens is continuously focused on Gotham, two small figures in capes and chasing bad guys and each other. They do their job and Bruce watches his other screens, listens to Clark and nods appropriately, goes over some new schematics for a suit improvement.

Corner of his eye, peripheral vision is dedicated to the two small figures in Gotham. The screen shows the top of Wayne Tower and Red Robin pacing up and down, clearly talking, unhappy, Robin has crossed his arms. Bruce can interrupt them over the comms, give them a good scare, but they’d never learn. The need for them to work together more poignant as Bruce becomes older and Damian almost ready to join the Teen Titans if it wasn’t for Tim. His heart skips a beat when Damian’s hand goes for his katana, but Tim holds up his in surrender, holding him off and it is fine, they’re okay.

Bruce turns back to his other screens only to find Clark looking at him, one eyebrow raised.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Clark takes another bite of his Mars bar, feigning oblivion.

“Listen.”

“It’s my hearing, B. I can’t just turn it off.”

“Then focus on something else.” Clark turns back to his side of the monitor bank and Bruce goes back to his work, but he’s lost his focus. Gotham not just in his peripheral vision anymore and of course, Clark notices.

“Want me to go down there? I’ll keep an eye on them. Or you go and I’ll stay here.”

“No, we have a job to do. So do they.”

Clark doesn’t look convinced and something in the back of Bruce’s mind screams of Superman’s disapproving scowl at a brightly coloured child next to Batman’s black cape. But that is a long time ago and Clark looks at him now with a crease between his raised eyebrows and a hand on his shoulder. Worry, a question.

“No,” he says again. “They need to do this together. I trained them. I trust them.”

That hand lingers on his shoulder a moment longer, and Bruce doesn’t shake it off, doesn’t want to. The weight behind Clark’s touch and his gaze ground him, get him out of his thoughts and back to focus on work.

----------

It’s a couple weeks later and they’re all in the cave, Tim and Cass on the matts, sparring, Damian off by the workbench quietly cleaning his gear. Bruce has a video feed open to the Fortress of Solitude, where Superman and Supergirl are looking into the Kryptonian database for the origins of an abandoned alien ship found on Mars. Or at least, Superman is. Kara is playing with newly acquired Krypto, two streaks of red and a blur in the background from time to time. Clark’s family is expanding, too.

Their conversation is all business, small talk quickly waved off by Bruce and he keeps them on track. He has other stuff to do and if Clark can’t find anything about the ship in the Kryptonian data, he’ll contact Oa and let the Lanterns handle it. Yet despite his best efforts tonight, Clark smiles at him, and even through the screen and slightly distorted feed he feels the warmth. Tingling suppressed because it’s nothing like the real deal. The one he’s seen directed at Lois, or when Clark talks about Lana.

“I could uhh… come over?” The uncertainty in Clark’s voice surprises Bruce, but Clark quickly picks up again. “Got everything we need here. I’ll send it to you and we can come up with a plan.”

“The Lanterns can handle it from here,” Bruce says resolutely, pauses. “OK, come over. Bring Kara. I want to have Tim teach her some things about tracking and deduction.” At the mention of her name, Kara appears, now fully visible and Krypto at her side, looking up expectantly at the ball in her hand.

“Hi, guys,” she waves, and Bruce finds Tim and Cass behind him, and even Damian has come much closer. She pretends to hold a magnifier in front of her face. “Detective Kara on the case.” Cass smiles and waves. Tim greets back and says something about listening to detective Tim, smug voice and all smiles. Bruce looks back at Clark to find him still staring at him, holds onto that and Clark’s blue eyes, until Kara speaks again. “Sooo, sleepover at the manor tonight? It’s getting a little boring up here. No offence, Kal.”

Clark holds up his hands. “None taken.”

Bruce cuts in quickly. “No. Tonight’s training and then back home. Damian and I will go on patrol. Clark can stay here with you guys.”

Clark chuckles. “Bruce, it’s fine. You’ve got room enough and I’ll just go back to Metropolis tonight.”

Bruce’s stare turns into a scowl, and Clark folds his arms. Tim lets out an uncharacteristic groan, Cass rolls her eyes. Clark breaks first, unfolds his arms but it’s not without a smug smile when he says, “We’ll be right there.”

 -

They all have supper together, it’s an odd sight at the table with Clark and Kara in their super suits, capes left folded on one of the benches in the cave. Damian is already in the under-suit of his Robin costume, the rest of them still in training sweats, but Alfred only scoffs mildly as he joins them at the table, impeccable as ever. Bruce gets lost in conversation with Clark while the children have their own thing going on. So lost, in fact, that he forgets about patrol time until Damian gives an incessant tug on his sleeve and tells him to ‘get ready, father. I cannot believe you let the alien distract you like that.’

On top of that, in the cave Clark somehow convinces him to let Cass, Tim, and Kara have their sleepover. It’s good for Kara, he says, she needs to spend more time with people her age. Of course Tim then asks if Kon can come too, and Clark happily says yes, at which point Bruce has to remind him that it’s his home, his room is right next to Tim’s and everyone needs their sleep, and thinks it’s a good thing they’re not raising these kids together. They’re opposites, he would be the strict parent, and everyone would go to Clark to ask things (evidently, they already do, or at least Tim does, and Bruce wonders again if he’s let Clark let too close).

That night on patrol though, he can’t shake the feeling that something about tonight felt absolutely right. He chalks it up to the manor, it’s large, it’s supposed to be that full, and his age. He’s not weak, he’s just becoming a sentimental old sap.

----------

On Tuesday afternoon he runs into Tim in the hallway adjoining both their bedrooms where Tim tells him about a recent board meeting at WE, some adjustments he wants to make to their financing plans, coffee cup in hand and stack of papers in the other. Mature, he looks mature.

“How old are you again?” He asks after Tim finishes talking.

Exasperated sigh and waving the stack of papers. “Did you even hear anything I said?”

Bruce just glares at him in answer, raises an eyebrow.

“Right,” Tim says. He hums. Tim is going to fly out soon and Bruce is not quite ready to acknowledge how that makes him feel, but he’ll do his damn best to make sure it’s a good experience for him. To not push him away. To not lose him. “You know I’ll be out of here as soon as soon as I’m eighteen.”

“And finish school.”

“Fine, and finish school. Then I’ll get my own apartment. Might get quiet here.”

Bruce shrugs. “It won’t be quiet with Damian around. I could always call Clark to come over if it gets boring.”

“Clark?”

“Or-”

“No, no, invite Clark. Good for you.” He elbows Bruce and steps into his room. Tim’s grin is just a little unsettling, worth a second thought, but the only possible answer is simple enough. Clark slips into his conversations and his thoughts like he’s supposed to be there (he is). Being around him is more than comfortable, it’s normal. Much better than back in the day when he was always with Lois and Bruce is completely over his feelings.

---------

A mild injury (twisted ankle, he landed wrong and feels it up in his knee), and Clark insists on going back to the cave with Bruce after patrol. He sends Damian to the showers and to bed, slides into the chair in front of the computer and takes off his cowl. Clark hovers around, it’s annoying, he offers to get an ice pack, but that’s Alfred’s job and he’s there as soon as Bruce sinks down. Tim’s at the other end of the large bank of monitors, tracking shipments of something. Bruce should really be more interested and know what Tim is up to, but he’s tired, sore all over, just wants a nice warm shower and sleep. Work first.

Maybe it’ll go faster with Clark around. At least, if he would just stop worrying about Bruce and actually help him. They’re looking into some recovered DNA when Bruce reaches up, rubs at his neck subconsciously.

“You okay?” Clark’s question startles him, both their eyes still trained on the screen. Listening again.

“I’m fine, just sore.”

“Go to bed. I’ll do this.”

“No, I still need to write tonight’s report.” Rubs at his shoulder and rolls.

“Ok. Then here, let me.” Clark walks closer to him, behind the chair, makes a motion with his hands. It takes just a bit too long for Bruce to catch on, but he leans forward slightly. Clark deftly removes the cape and cowl - and it should really worry Bruce that he knows how to, but he forgoes an angry comment as soon as Clark’s hands touch his shoulder. They’re warm along his shoulders and neck, large, gentle despite their incredible strength. Of course, Clark easily finds all the knots and twists and kneads in just the right places. Bruce tries to refocus on his work, tries to be annoyed with Clark for knowing exactly what to do, but the smooth slide of Clark’s thumbs on his trapezius muscles makes it hard. Friends can do this.

It’s somehow much too soon when all the tension is gone and Clark pulls back his hands, but he pushes the thought away. Clears his throat. “Hnn. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He hasn’t noticed Tim leave, but his spot is empty now, hears him rumbling around in a different part of the cave and the rest of their work gets done quickly in silence.

“I think we should wrap things up here,” Bruce says after finishing his report. He pushes himself up out of the chair, has to hold onto the backrest for support. Clark, automatically, reaches out to him to help.

“Report all done?”

Bruce nods.

“Ok, then. Need any help getting upstairs?”

“No.”

Clark hasn’t let go. In fact, he’s come closer, every colour blue visible in his eyes and his breath ghosting over Bruce’s face.

“Bruce, I-“

“Yes.” The grip on his arm becomes tighter, slow tug. Lips on his, impossibly soft and a hand gently supporting his back. But his own hand stings and the next second Clark stands in front of him, shocked and appropriate distance between them again. Bruce swears in pain. His hand throbs.

“What the fuck, Clark.”

“Crap! Sorry, Bruce, I…” Bruce clenches his jaw, there’s a sigh, then only a gust of wind, Clark’s speed too high for Bruce to even see the streak of red flying out of the cave.

“Bruce.” He whirls around at the sound of his name, heart racing. Tim’s stopped on his way to the stairs, towel around his neck and Bruce ignores the pain in his ankle as he makes his way over. “Fuck, why did you try to hit him?”

“Bed, now.”

Tim groans overdramatically and walks past him into the house. Slowly, Bruce makes it up the stairs and to his bedroom, where he collapses into bed and a restless sleep.

---------

The next day it’s glowers from Tim, no hugs or any words from Cass, and Damian isn’t much better off. Alfred gives him more than a few pointed looks, no sassy raised eyebrow and all scowls. Bruce ignores them as much as they ignore him and the house is quieter than it’s been in a long time. He needs to deal with this himself, he just doesn’t know how to yet. It all lasts until evening, when everyone is in the cave quietly getting ready, where Tim finally speaks to him.

“You lead him on.”

“What?”

“Clark. You lead him on.”

“I heard you, Tim. I did not.”

“You get too close to the alien, father.”

“Clark is a friend. I am close to him.”

“No, you let him get close. You lower your defences, and your body language is all… open.” The last word sounds like a reach within Damian’s vocabulary, chosen carefully.

“Exactly,” Tim joins in. “You lean into him; he moves towards you. You make googly eyes at him; he makes googly eyes at you. When you’re not looking of course.”

“I don’t make googly eyes.”

Tim sighs. “You get the point. Hell, I’ve seen you having coffee with him in the kitchen after patrol more than a few times. I thought that-”

“Tim.”

One of his trademark teenage sighs again, all frustration and no patience. “For a so-called billionaire playboy, you’re really bad at telling when someone is actually interested in you.”

“I’m done talking about this. Suit up. All of you.”

“Had me believe you were in love with him…” A mumble and it dies down as Tim puts on his helmet. The roar of his bike engine drowns out Bruce’s words. “Clark isn’t… that’s just me.”

By the time the cave is quiet again, Damian is waiting for him in the batmobile, arms crossed over his fastened seatbelt. Bruce pulls the cowl over his head and doesn’t notice Cass behind him until she tugs on his cape, puts a hand on his shoulder. “You… love.” She touches his chest. “Clark. Loves you… too.”

 -

On patrol that night, Bruce’s mind wanders. If Damian notices he doesn’t comment on it. They intercept a weapons shipment by the docks, take down the thugs. Standard night in Gotham.

Clark isn’t gay. Straight? Bruce has never outright asked him, always assumed. Lana and Lois all he has to go on and he simply came to a logical conclusion. Though it’s a flawed one, and contradicted by himself on top of that. CEO of a billion-dollar company and he has women hanging of his arms at every society event he goes to because it’s expected. To be straight. He can’t imagine Clark having to do that – maybe it was his rural upbringing, though the Kents are not like that.

And of course, Clark brings Bruce’s whole world, the lies he tells himself, down with one simple kiss. After eleven goddamn years, and all he can feel is loss, lost time, frustration and anger as his fists connect with ribs, jaws, elbows on the street. He needs Clark to explain. He needs himself to understand.

---------

“Bruce.” Clark opens the door, still dressed in a blue button-up and off-the-rack slacks. It’s clear he hasn’t been expecting him; a single plate with a half-finished dinner sits on the table, next to a laptop.

“Why now.”

“What?” Clark clears his throat, swallows a remnant of his dinner. “I’m sorry for what happened.” He steps aside to let Bruce into the apartment, follows him towards the small living room. “I didn’t mean to… I just thought- “

“That’s just it. You didn’t think, you just-” Bruce stops himself, groans. He isn’t here to fight with Clark, but it is just so goddamn easy. Toe to toe and head to head despite half the room separating them. Clark’s jaw sets in that all too familiar way and his expression drops from astonishment and curiosity to calm and collected.

“Are you just here to yell at me? Because I’m really not in the mood. I’m sorry. I thought you were interested in… that. Clearly, I misread the signs, so it won’t happen again. Can we just forget about this whole thing… and move on or something?”

“No.” To Bruce, moving on is impossible.

“Right. Why are you even mad at me? If anything, I should be the one being angry with you. And it doesn’t sound like you came here to apologize for hitting me.”

“No, I didn’t. I’m here so you can explain one thing to me, Clark. Why did you kiss me?”

An eternity packed into the second it took Clark to find his reply, and his answer anything but satisfying. “I don’t know. Maybe we’ve just been spending too much time together.”

“We’re friends. Friends spend time together.”

“Yes. Ok,” Clark sighs, averts his eyes. “I’m attracted to you… and I thought it was mutual. I mean, you let me give you a massage. You’ve never let me done that! So really, I’m sorry if I misread the situation.” Clark holds up his hands, palms up in explanation, excuse. All of it seems much too easy for him, something to brush off.  

“I didn’t think my behaviour would cause such a complication.”

“A complication.”

“I didn’t know, or I would have done things differently. Ergo, a complication.”

Clark breaths in and out, pinches the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “Ok, do you have a problem with me being the way I am? Because that’s what it sounds like. It was just a kiss. Get over it.”

“You jump to conclusions, Clark. As always.”

“Cryptic and you leave me two steps behind, Bruce. As always.”

He looks around Clark’s apartment. The couch is small, but he sits down anyway, motions for Clark to sit on the armchair. Ikea. It puts him across from Bruce and level. “I didn’t know you were…” he has to strain for the right word. “Not straight. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Clark runs a hand through his hair, closes his eyes and takes of his glasses. “I thought you were supposed to be good at reading people. I thought you knew.”

“All evidence pointed to the contrary.”

“Bisexuality is a thing you know. And I don’t have to tell you everything about my love interests.”

“Right. Feels like you do, though.”

“So then,” Clark tries. “You’re just here to confirm my sexuality.”

“Not just that.”

“Oh. So, you are… You’re not out, are you?”

“Neither are you, apparently.”

“It’s complicated. And it’s not like I actively hide it,” he says accusingly. Evidently, conditioned bias can really be a bitch sometimes. There’s a whole other conversation to be uncovered behind Clark’s complicated. One they should have. Maybe later. Bruce swallows.

“Why I hit you. I overreacted. I taught myself to… not want that, and-”

“Rao, Bruce, stop. You don’t have to deny who you are. Not around me.” There’s that comforting hand on his again. So much of Clark's communication is rooted in touch. He's held back, Bruce realises now, and finds he desperately wants a lot more of it. Hand on the armrest of the couch, he doesn’t pull away.

“Will you let me apologise. I didn’t mean to hit you and I’m sorry. You know I would never, and it’s stupid.” He looks at where Clark’s thumb touches his bruised knuckles. “Clearly,” Clark agrees.

“The thing is. I was finally content. Happy with what I could have. My family. You as a friend. And then you go and ruin it all with a stupid little kiss.” He has to avert his eyes, look up at the ceiling to consider the absurdity of it all. Biggest miscalculation of his life. The feeling of loss washes over him again like a tidal wave of his own making, and he can’t help but wonder if it feels the same for Clark. “Eleven goddamn years, Clark. Took you long enough.”

Clark’s chuckle does things to his stomach that he hasn’t allowed himself to experience in a long time. He joins Bruce on the couch. “Hey. At least I had the courage to do something.”

“Okay. So you suck a little bit less at this than me.”  Some of the tension finally leaves his body, and Clark visibly relaxes next to him. He turns towards Bruce, like on the watchtower, like at dinner. Bruce thinks of what Tim had said, how they lean towards each other, always, and it feels right, fits. Opposites attract, or something.

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, yes. Didn’t really get the full experience last time.”

“Wonder whose fault that was.” Clark’s face has come much too close for Bruce to see his smile, but he can hear it, feel it in the way there is just a little bit of teeth when their lips meet. This time, the kiss is much better. The feel of Clark’s lips under his own, his hands on Bruce’s thigh, his chest, so warm. Clark’s curls and incredibly strong pulse. He commits it all to memory. Just in case.

“And he says I jump to conclusions,” Clark states to the room, and Bruce has to close his eyes to keep from laughing.

------------

Epilogue

------------

It’s been over a month since the incident with Bruce and Clark in the cave, and honestly, Tim thinks he would be seeing more of Clark. He felt a little disappointed at first, didn’t talk much to Bruce. Because of course, leave it to him to just shut everyone out again and pretend nothing had happened. Damian – annoyingly so – takes after his dad, works hard and just a tad too victorious.

Tim considers himself a pretty good detective.

However. It takes him a couple days to notice, too long, Bruce would say, that Bruce is calm. More relaxed. If that’s even possible for Batman. Well, not out on patrol of course, but at home. Tim’s doing homework in the ground floor study one day when Bruce walks in, looking at his phone. Smiling. Distracted and he hasn’t noticed Tim on time, clearly, when he quickly pockets his phone and asks Tim what he’s working on. The smile lingers.

There’s a league meeting but when batman returns to the zeta platform in the cave, the usually present proverbial protruding vein is not there, and Bruce doesn’t stomp to his computer right away. Instead, he takes a whole five minutes to remove the constricting parts of his uniform, eat one of Alfred’s sandwiches, and comfortably installs himself in front of the large monitor. It’s as un-Bruce and healthy as Batman can get and it doesn’t go unnoticed. No one comments.

And then. Bruce comes home late one night – on time for patrol – from the office. Or so he claims. But his tie is loosened, shirt not perfectly pressed anymore, and he smells like Pakistani curry. He could have got the food delivered of course, but it’s the windswept hair that betrays exactly who brought him back to Gotham after a dinner in Metropolis.

All of it culminates, there’s more little things and it’s the kind of behaviour that stands out when you spend a lifetime practicing every possible degree of a scowl and a faked interest in small-time fun.

Tim’s suspicions are finally confirmed in a much too unsubtle way when he’s in his room late one night – or maybe early morning –, under the covers and ready to go to sleep. There’s stumbling, bumping into the wall outside his room. His first thought is a threat, but then he hears Bruce’s voice. And another. Creak of the master bedroom door and footsteps shuffling on carpet.

“Take that off.” Straightforward as ever, Bruce.

“This too?” And yep, that’s Clark. Where are his noise cancelling headphones?

Constrained. “Yes.”

Tim clicks on his bedside light, stumbles around his room extra loud, hoping Clark will hear him. Notice he’s awake. At the very least, Superman should be considerate.

“I thought you had superspeed.”

“Patience, B.”

“Waited for you all week.” The rest was muffled, a creaking sound.

Under the safety of his covers and the protection of his headphones, Tim thinks about texting Stephanie. Or Kon. Or Dick. He groans and decides to put on some music instead. Why couldn’t Bruce just come out to them like a normal person? Why didn’t he spend an all-nighter in the cave tonight? Why did he ever choose the bedroom next to Bruce? At least Damian won’t be able to hear them. Right? He makes the mistake of lifting up one side of his headphones to check, only to hear a rhythmic thump, thump, thump, and drops it right back down. Okay. He can probably do some more work on the Two-face case down in the cave. It’s not like he needs sleep, anyway.

He just needs to have a very stern talk with Batman and Superman come morning. And move to a different bedroom.

[beclynn-herondale]

In Another Universe: Chapter 8 part 1 - The Hotel Dumort

(tsc and tmi belong to Cassandra Clare, and so do the characters, a lot of it is very similar to the original, especially the hotel Dumort part)

They were walking down the sidewalk, Jayce walking beside Clar, Alec and Isidore a few feet ahead of them. Clar pulled his backpack in front of him to get Simone out and check on her.

When he opened the bag, she wasn't in there. "Oh no!". "What?" asked Jayce. "Simone's gone.". "She must have fallen out, or jumped out," she said. "Hey, Alec! Iz!." Alec and Isidore looked behind them at Clar and Jayce. "We lost Simone! Me and Clar are gonna go back find her!" she shouted. Isidore nodded, Alec wss about to come back but Isidore dragged her along with him.

They went back to Magna's loft, Jayce rang the doorbell.

"Who dares disturb the Magnificent Magna Bane's sleep!?" she said. "It's me, the Shadowhunter from the party," said Jayce. "Oh! the one with blue eyes?" "No." "Oh, that one."

Jayce looked like one of those anime characters when they had a fake arrow go through them, Clar thought. He found it funny. Magna opened the door, and was leaning against the entryway.

"What do you want?" asked Magna. "Simone is gone," said Clar. "I think she may have jumped out of the bag when we were leaving.". "I didn't see any rat when I was cleaning up, my dear.". "Perhaps one of your guests took her then?" said Jayce.

Clar remembered that Vampire that bumped into him. "I think maybe a vampire took her when he bumped into me," he said. Jayce looked at him. "Where can we find the vampires that were at your party?" asked Jayce.

"And why would I want to piss off the vampires by telling you where they are?" said Magna. "Because this is Shadowhunter business and you could get in trouble," said Jayce, in that threatening tone. "Fine," said Magna with a sigh. "The Hotel Dumort is where you'll find them.". "Thank you," said Jayce, she put on a charming smile, tried to sound as sincere as possible. "Now goodnight, and don't come back or I'll turn you into a coatrack," she said.

As she closed the door, Clar thought he heard her mumble something like "Clucking Shadowhunters"

——————

"So," said Isidore. "Magna Bane likes you. I think you should try to get to know her.". "No. and she doesn't," said Alec. "Really? Why did she say call her then?" "She was just fun flirting, nothing serious." "Why can't you accept that someone is interested in you?" "You know why." "Alec..."

"Look, Iz, even if she were interested in me and I in her, it wouldn't matter. You know nothing could ever happen between us for several reasons." Iz sighed sadly. It was true, Magna Bane did say call her, but surely she didn't actually mean it, surely someone as pretty as her wasn't actually interested in Alec.

"I don't like that Jayce went off on her own," she said. "She'll be fine." "How do you know that?" "Cause she's Jayce," said Iz. "You know how strong and badass she is." "Yes, but..." "But what?" "She has Clar with her, I'm not trying to sound jealous or anything, it's just Clar doesn't have any experience fighting and I don't want him getting Jayce killed cause of his stubbornness," said Alec.

"I know, I have my own feelings about Clar, but Jayce is gonna make her own decisions and we can't always be there," he said. "Believe me, I want to be just as bad, to have her back." "I'm her parabatai, I am supposed to be there.". "I know, but you can't always be with her Alec, even if you are parabatai." "It's always been us three, Iz," she said quietly. "I know."

"I don't want Jayce getting herself killed for some boy," whispered Alec under her breath, so quietly she wondered if Iz even heard her.

They walked the rest of the way home.

——————

Jayce needed to get weapons before going to the vampires lair, so they went to the nearest church. There was always a place where the Nephilim have left weapons and other stuff, for when a fellow Nephilim needed it.

She was exhausted with having to help Clar with Simone, she didn't know why she was even bothering but she felt responsible for Clar, and he was going to go with it without her, she knew that, so might as well go with so he didn't get himself killed.

"So you said Nephilim just leave weapons in churches?" asked Clar. "Churches and other religious places. And the people who run these places, are the ones who pay and supply things to Shadowhunters often. They believe in demons and we kill them, so to thank us for our service they pay us and supply us with weapons when we need it, and let us hide weapons here. And sometimes Shadowhunters secretly hide weapons." she told him.

She looked at him, he seemed to be looking around at the church oddly. "I've never really been in a Church before.". "Why not?". "My mom was never the type of woman who believed in that stuff." He thought back she had always said there was no magic and that she never felt connected to any god so she couldn't believe. Though now he wondered if she was angry at some god that may exist. "She probably wanted to stay away from anything that had to do with the Shadow world even a little," she said. "Yeah, probably."

She knelt down where the compartment that had the weapons as nd holy water was, she pulled her Stele out and drew an open rune over it. She opened it and Clar jumped a little. "Jesus," he said. "He wouldn't fit in here," she said. "Do you believe?" he asked. "No," she answered. "But why not? If there's the Angel then there must be—". "A God?" "Yeah."

"I don't believe. but my father did," she told him. "He believed in a great almighty god. But the day he died I realized it wasn't that I didn't believe in god, I just thought if he is real, he doesn't care, and we are on our own." Clar stared at her a little shaken. "Oh," was all he said. She smiled at him, god doesn't care about her she thought to herself that day.

"Isn't the fact that it's right there, isn't that dangerous?" he said trying to change the subject, Maybe she supposed, by asking about the compartment. "Only Shadowhunters can open it, it requires an open Rune." "Oh," he said. Now lets go," she said.

——————

Joan was starting to grow tired of the waiting, the waiting for battle, the waiting for the hunt, the waiting for the kill. There was still a part of her that expected to be saved though she couldn't understand why she wanted to be saved.

These last couple months of her training have been intense. she felt connected with her demon blood now in a way she hadn't before, she understood the evil queens she used to read about now, why they loved the darkness, why they loved evil. Being evil was so much more fun, and you didn't have to feel remorse for the terrible things you did.

No wonder Lucifer chose to fall, and become the devil himself. Falling was so much more fun.

Joan couldn't completely remember the old her and how it felt to feel like she did before she was dragged away with Lilith, she sometimes fought something inside her that said what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't say it bothered her, she was now who she was always meant to be. She was meant to be this monster and villian.

Lilith was proud of her, her father was as well, he said he'd have a gift for her soon enough. That there was a girl who had not pleased him like she had, he said she would be welcome have a go at her and mess her up a little when he got his hands back on her. Apparently he had sent her away years ago after growing tired of her, apparently she was too weak and gentle to ever be of use to him, and apparently she was very breakable. The old Joan would have thought it was terrible to speak of a person like this but that Joan was very far away these days, perhaps she was even almost gone.

Her father said he'll have her back soon enough, and he'll have Clar as well to bring to her, he said they'll be a family. All she really cared about was Clar now, her brother who could always be great company and make her laugh. despite her loving her new self, she wanted him by her side, he could join with their father and they would have the world.

Or it would be fun to watch it burn. There was a voice saying that she didn't really want that, but didn't she?

——————

They got to the Hotel Dumort, Jayce looked at it, trying to see if there was a way to get in. Vampires had flying motorcycles, so they could fly to the roof and get in. They didn't have one though, which made things more complicated.

"The Hotel Dumort," she said. "Cute isn't it?" Clar gave her a look. "Du mort," he said. "Meaning, Of death." "Yes," she said.

"How can this be the hotel," he said. "All the windows are boarded up and the door's bricked up— oh," he realized as she gave him a look. "Right, they are vampires. How do they get inside then?" "They fly,". she said, and pointed to the roof. The hotel had clearly once been very elegant and beautiful, but now was not so elegant. "But we don't fly," Clar pointed out. "You're right, we break and enter," she said and smirked. She made her way down the street towards the hotel.

——————

Clar caught up to Jayce and followed closely behind. "Flying does sound more fun," he said. "Everything sounds more fun now." He wondered if she was serious. She had excitement about her, anticipation for the hunt that didn't seem to him like she was as unhappy as she claimed. She did say once she has killed more demons than anyone else her age. He supposed you didn't kill that many demons by hanging back from a fight

They walked down the alley, the wind blew trash in several directions. The streets were deserted, it was odd, usually there was at least someone on the streets of manhattan at 4 in the morning. Many of the streetlights were out, but there was one closets to the hotel that was on, casting it's yellow light across the pathway, to what had been the front door.

"Stay out of the light," said Jayce, as she pulled him away and towards her by his sleeve. "They may be watching from the windows. Also don't look up." But he had already looked up and could have sworn he saw someone move away from the window. "Come on." Jayce pulled him with her to blend in more with the shadows, closer to the hotel. It was odd having someone who was shorter than you drag you around like you were nothing, but she was strong he reminded himself.

He felt nervous chills go down his spine, the sounds of the city seemed very far away, all he could hear clearly was the crunch of trash under his shoes. He wished he could be like Shadowhunters and be soundless, maybe he could ask Jayce to teach him someday. They slipped around the corner of the hotel down an alley that had probably been for deliveries once. It was covered in garbage, empty bottles, trash bags, cardboard boxes, scattered things that Clar had thought were toothpicks, but when they got closer he realized that they were— "Bones," said Jayce with a flat tone. "Cat bones, rat bones, dog bones. Don't look to closely it's not pretty, going through a vampires trash that is."

"Well I guess we're in the right place," he said. Jayce glanced at him with a look of respect for a flicker of a moment. "Oh, we're in the right place," she said. "We just gotta find a way in."

There clearly use to be windows that were now bricked up, there wasn't a fire escape. "When this was a hotel," said Jayce. "This must have been where trucks made deliveries." Clar thought about the shops near his house in brooklyn, how they would get deliveries in the morning when he walked to school, they had delivery areas like this, had seen the owners open the metal doors that were set into the pavement outside the front. "I bet that the doors are in the ground. Under the garbage."

Jayce, a little behind him, nodded. "That's what I was thinking as well," she said with a sigh. "I suppose we need to move all this trash. We should start with the dumpster." she didn't look enthusiastic. "You'd rather fight a horde of demons, instead, wouldn't you?" "At least that wouldn't be covered in bugs and mold and angel knows what else. Well," she added thoughtfully. "I did track down this demon one time that was in the sewers under Grand Central—" "Stop," he said. "I am in no mood to hear about that right now." "That's gotta be the first time someone has said that to me," she mused. "Well, if you stick with me, it won't be the last time." Her mouth twitched. "This is hardly the time for pointless banter. We have lots of garbage to haul."

She walked over to the dumpster, grabbing one side. "You get the other side. We'll tip it," she said. "Won't that make too much noise," he argued. He walked over to the other side, and grabbed it. The smell made him want to gag. "We should push it."

"Look—," began Jayce, but a voice spoke out of the shadows. "Should you really be doing that?" it said. Clar was frozen in place, staring at the shadows, he panicked a little and wondered if it was just him but he looked to Jayce and saw she was frozen as well, and had a look of astonishment on her face. It was rare to see her look like that, even rarer that anyone snuck up on her. She reached for her belt as she stepped away from the dumpster. "Is someone there?" she said.

"Dios mío," said a female voice, it sounded amused, speaking softly in spanish. "You're not from around here, are you?" She stepped forward out of the shadows, a few years younger than Jayce, and probably six inches shorter than Clar. She was thin and had big dark eyes, and brown skin. She wore black slacks and a white dress shirt opened at the neck, a gold chain around her neck. "yeah, your might say that," said Jayce meticulously, her hand still on her belt where her seraph blades were.

"You should not be here," the girl said. "It's a very unsafe place." She must mean it's a bad neighborhood. He would have laughed in other circumstances. "We know," he said. "We're just lost." "And what," she gestured towards the dumpster. "Are you doing with that?" Clar was not good at lying on the spot, he needed time to come with a good one, he hoped Jayce was excellent at it. "We were trying to get into the hotel," she said. "We were thinking maybe there was a cellar entrance under this dumpster." She didn't just flat out say that? Did she?

She looked at them like she couldn't believe what she just heard. "Puta madre—and why would you be doing that?" Jayce gave an innocent shrug. "We thought it would be fun to do a prank. Have some fun, mess around," she said. "This place is haunted, it's bad luck," the girl said. She said several things in spanish Clar didn't understand, but assumed probably had to do with stupid kids. "Come with me, I'll show you to the subway." "We know where the subway is," said Jayce. "Claro. Of course you do, but if you walk with me no one mess with you. You don't want trouble from anyone around here," she said.

"That depends, we may want a little trouble," said Jayce. "How much are they paying you to keep people away?" The girl glanced back at Jayce. "Who do you mean? How much is who paying me?" "The vampires, who else?" said Jayce. "Are they paying you a lot? Or offering to make you one? Cause let me tell you eternal life is such a long time, especially when you can never see the sun again."

She looked at Jayce expressionless. "My name is Raphaela." "So you know what we're talking about The vampires? you know about them?" said Clar. Raphaela went on telling a story about a group of boys that were taken by the vampires here, one of them was her brother, she said she walks by here some nights. And how if you go in there you'll never come out.

"My friend is in there we came to save her," said Clar. "So I take it I can't warn you away?" said Raphaela. "No," said Jayce. "But don't worry about us, what happened to your friend won't happen to us." she pulled out one of her seraph blades from her belt and held it up to the light, the dim light shining on it, her eyes were shadowed. "I've killed plenty vampires, they can die."

She took a sharp breath and said something low in spanish. "I know what you are," she said. "I have heard stories about your kind, from the old Padre at St. Cecilia's. I thought they were just stories." "All the stories are true," said Clar quietly. She looked at Jayce her fists clenched. "I want to come with you," she said. "No way, absolutely not," said Jayce. "I can show you how to get in." Jayce looked a little tempted. "You can't come.". "Fine," said Raphaela.

She walked by them and kicked some trash away, there was a rusted metal grating there, she knelt down, grabbed the bars and lifted it away. "This is how my brother and his friends got in that night, it goes down to the basement, I believe." Jayce and Clar joined her by the grate. Clar held his breath not wanting to smell the garbage anymore. He glanced at Jayce who now had a thin smile on her face. She still had the seraph blade out, the witchlight that cast off it, gave her face a ghostly glow, it reminded him of when he and Simone were eleven and she held a flashlight up to her face telling ghost stories that Clar could never take seriously.

"Thanks," she said to Raphaela. "This will work just fine." She looked at them with a pale face. "You go in there and save your friend, do what I could not do for my brother," she said. Jayce put her Seraph Blade back in her belt, she looked at Clar. "Follow my lead," she said, and slid down through the grating in a gracefully smooth move, feet first. He expected a shout of agony, but he only heard the a soft thump of feet landing on the ground. "It's fine," she called up to Clar. "Jump down and I'll help you."

He looked to Raphaela. "Thank you for all the help." She said nothing, only held her hand out to help Clar, he used her strong grip to steady himself as he got into position to jump down, her hands were very cold. She let go of his hand as he dropped down. It only took a second or two of falling before he landed and Jayce was there helping him steady himself, he thought as a boy he shouldn't need this kind of help but he had never been that muscular, not like some of the boys in his school. She let go immediately after he was steady. "You ok?" "Fine."

Jayce put her Seraph Blade back out and lifted it, it lit up their surroundings. They were a small space with cracked concrete floors. Vines had begun to grow along the walls. A doorway without a door, lead to another room. He heard a loud thump behind him, he turned to it and saw Raphaela. She ha followed them through the grating. And grinned at them manically.

Jayce looked angered. "I thought I told you—" She held her hand up in a gesture that said shush. "I heard you," she said. "But what are you going to do about now? I can't get back up the way I came and you can't leave me for dead . . . Can you?" "I'm contemplating it," said Jayce, she looked tired, she had shadows under her eyes. Raphaela pointed. "That way, they are up the stairs. They stay on the higher floors." She went past them. Jayce looked after her shaking her head. "I am beginning to be tired of mundanes," she said.

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @spotsandclawsthings @megs-readstoomuch @replayfootsteps @magnus-the-maqnificent @bookfast-at-tiffanys @simply-ellas-stuff @my-archerboy @jazzkaurtheglorious

[bigfan-fanfic]

Heskan Aeducan as a Companion

(Face Claim: Can Yaman) - Okay, I really wanted to do this because Heskan is basically the hot romanceable dwarf we’d all deserve in Inquisition. He uses the Dwarf Noble Origin and has the Spirit Warrior specialization, using it as an archer.

Hope y’all like him! Feel free to romance him, haha!

Inquisitor’s Name: Heskan “Hess” Aeducan

Race, Class, & Specialization: Dwarf Archer Warrior (Spirit Warrior)

Varric’s Nickname for them: Feathers

Default Tarot Card: The Chariot

How they are recruited: He joins automatically if you talk to him at the gate leading to the bridge in Skyhold; a cutscene triggers where he and Leliana are speaking and she vouches for his skill and he offers aid to the Inquisition.

Where they are in Skyhold: Aiming his bow over the battlements, taking potshots at trees in the distance.

Things they Generally Approve of: Pragmatic options, manipulating nobles, recruiting prisoners

Things they Generally Disapprove of: Letting prisoners go, executing them, dismissing Sera from the Inquisition, hitting Solas or Dorian

Mages, Templars, Other?: Heskan comes from Orzammar, and is really tired of having to deal with this whole surface conflict, especially as darkspawn get closer and closer to overrunning his people. That said, he prefers the mages. Templars he doesn’t trust.

Romanceable?: Yes, by any gender or race.

Friends in the Inquisition: Cole, Vivienne, and Iron Bull - Heskan and Varric have a not-quite-friendly rivalry.

Small side mission: Run around Skyhold collecting a stray arrow each time you return to Skyhold. 9 arrows altogether, every 3 arrows earns you a Heskan Greatly Approves.

Companion quest: Heskan wants to know if he is accessing the Fade through his Spirit Warrior specialization and asks the Inquisitor and Cole to help him, sleeping in front of them so they can test it. Cole mentions that Heskan is actually afraid of finding out the truth. After he wakes up, the Inquisitor has two options. Neither option impacts the ability to romance him.

Option 1: Lie and say no. This will net Disapproval from Solas and Approval from Cole and Heskan. Heskan seems relieved to learn that he is not upending all the rules for dwarfs and talking to him later reveals he is a little concerned because he’s been getting fragments of dreams, but nothing else comes of this. 

Option 2: Tell the truth. This will net Slight Disapproval from Cole and Great Approval from Heskan. Heskan admits that the idea of breaking all the rules for dwarfs and magic is frightening, but he is thrilled to consider this (if a Dwarven Inquisitor replies they feel the same way, they can earn extra approval). Talking to him later reveals that he has come to terms with accessing the Fade and he wants to attempt speaking with the spirit he has bonded with.

Tarot card change

Option 1: The Chariot (reversed)

Option 2: Knight of Pentacles

Cole’s reflection on their thoughts: “The smile should not have to be my mask, but it serves its purpose, bright and blinding as I bleed from the wounds in my back.”

Comment(s) on Mages: “Poor sods. I’d be pretty tired too if someone shut me up in a tower all my life and didn’t let me breathe wrong.”

Comment(s) on Templars: “We trade these people lyrium and we don’t care where it goes... but seeing what happens to them... I wonder if it’s worth it.”

When looking for something: “Did somebody hear that?”

When finding a campsite: “Care to kick up your feet for a while, Inquisitor?”

When the Inquisitor Falls: “Hurry, save the Inquisitor!”

When they are low on Health: “Hello? Archer needing help over here?”

When they see a Dragon: “You’re gonna go fight that thing, aren’t you?

Default saying: “Sort of brisk out here, isn’t it?”

Travel Banter with Canon Companions of your choice:

Heskan: So, Varric. Varric: (Sighs) Hello, Feathers. Heskan: You don’t like me much, do you? Varric: One handsome dwarf archer is enough for a good story. You’re a bit superfluous. Heskan: Don’t spare my feelings or anything...

Vivienne: Tell me, Prince Aeducan. What are you doing on the surface? Heskan: Madame Vivienne, please. You may call me Prince Heskan. Varric (if present): (Disgusted noise.) Vivienne: That wasn’t an answer, Prince Heskan. Heskan: No... no it wasn’t.

Heskan: Varric? Varric: (Sighs) What is it, Feathers? Heskan: Oh, I apologize. You must be trying to find a way to describe me other than “exceptionally ugly.” Varric: So you read The Tale of the Champion, huh? Heskan: If anything, I’d say that only one of us uses chest hair to distract from our sorry faces. Varric: “Hideously ugly and arrogant” it is, then. Heskan: Lazy writing!

Cole (after Heskan’s personal quest is complete and he is told the truth): She says hello. Heskan: She? She who? Cole: I don’t know... she’s you. (if made more human) I used to see her better. Heskan: Oh. Could you... could you tell her thank you? Cole: She knows. Heskan: Thank you, Cole.

Friendship?: “Hello there, love. Miss me?”

Leaving the Inquisition: “I’m not fond of the way you’re running things here. If you don’t shape up, I’d rather be sucked up into the Fade than hang around here.”

The Fade

How they react: “Well... this is different. Not sure I should really be here, actually.” Their Tombstone: Betrayal What the Fears look like: His dead brother Trian What the Nightmare says: “Ah, the murderer-Prince of Orzammar. Have they forgiven you for killing your brother yet? Or do you think they’re waiting for the right time to strike?” Their reflection about the Fade: "Yeah, I’m not so sure I enjoyed that.” Hawke or Warden: Has worked with both, Disapproves if Hawke or Alistair is left behind. Greatly Approves if Loghain is left behind. Approves if Stroud is left behind.

The Wardens

Their feelings: Respects the Wardens, being a veteran of the Fifth Blight and working with the Hero.  Exile or Allies?: Allies

The Ball

How they feel: “Smile, love. We’ve got a role to play here, so stay guarded.” Where they linger: Outside the door to Gaspard’s balcony Are they good at the Game?: Very much so. What people say about them: “Oh, that dwarven Prince is such a good dancer!” “Tall for a dwarf, isn’t he?” Gaspard, Briala, or Celene?: Prefers Briala through Gaspard

Temple of Mythal

Rituals or Hole?: Hole Agree with the Elves’ bargain?: Agree. Morrigan or Inquisitor for the Well?: Morrigan

Comments on Canon Romance

Cassandra: “Personally, the Seeker frightens me. But if you’ve chosen each other, I can tell she’ll be true.” Dorian: “Treat him well, Inquisitor. He’s been through enough in his life, I can tell.” Sera: “Hah, fun for all, eh? She’s a firecracker, she is.”  Iron Bull: “Heh, he’s a fun one. If you two weren’t together...” Josephine: “Ah, Lady Montilyet. A fine woman indeed. You’re lucky, Inquisitor. They don’t come much sharper than her.” Cullen: “Ah, I’ve met Cullen a few times before. He’s... he’s a better man than I once knew, I’ll say that.” Blackwall: “I’m definitely not qualified to judge. But he’ll treat you right, Inquisitor.” Solas: “Well, to each their own.”

Sexual/Racial preference: Panromantic. Any race.

Nickname for PC: My sweet

Romance only mission: Heskan asks the Inquisitor to accompany him to Valammar, where he has heard rumors of trouble brewing. The party is ambushed by Endrin loyalists who want Heskan dead for the alleged killing of his brother ten years ago. Afterwards, Heskan explains the details of his murky past, including why he killed his brother, and how he has always had to look over his shoulder. Choosing the dialogue response “Maybe I could look for you” locks in the romance, and Heskan expresses awe and joy that their casual flirting actually meant something.

Dialog to being asked for a kiss: “How could I refuse you, my sweet?”

Halamshiral dialog: “Just keep up that pretty smile of yours, my sweet. I promise I’ll put a real one on your face once the party’s over.”

Being asked to dance during mission: “As much as you want. Once this business with the Empress is over, of course.”

Asking to dance post-mission: “Come here... you’ve done so well tonight. If I can help you relax... I am honored.”

What Cole says about companion to PC: “The smile... it used to be false. Fake, fleeting, like feathers in the wind. But now... he is safe, secure...his sweet is here.”

Who is concerned about the relationship?: Varric, Cullen

Who supports the relationship?: Josephine, Leliana, Vivienne, Dorian

Who had a bet running on it?: Blackwall, Iron Bull, Sera

Banter(between NPCs):

Varric: So... you and the Inquisitor? Heskan: Ha, I never figured you for the jealous type, Varric. Varric: I - that’s... ugh.

Vivienne: A well-made match, my dear Prince. I congratulate you. Heskan: For once, Madame, I was not considering politics. Vivienne: Nonsense. Matters of the heart are just as political as anything else. Heskan: (chuckles) I suppose that on that count, we agree.

Iron Bull: So, are you a one-lover dwarf, or can I expect you again? Heskan: Why, Bull, you know I’ll never forget that magical night... Sera (if present): Ewww! How would that... oh. Fingers. Heskan: BUt in any event, you’d have to ask my sweet one. (The Inquisitor can respond favorably or unfavorably) Favorably Inquisitor: You could... if you don’t mind my presence. Iron Bull: The more the merrier! Heskan: My sweet, the Bull makes an excellent footrest. I’ll have to show you... Unfavorably Inquisitor: Sorry, Bull. He’s mine. Heskan: And I need no other lover. 

Flirt options: Upon meeting (gains Slight Disapproval from Varric), and at almost every interaction. Flirting with him enough unlocks his romance quest without needing to gain higher approval

Break up dialog:

If PC breaks it off: “I understand. It was fun while it lasted, though, eh? I’ll see you around, my - er, Inquisitor.”

If NPC breaks it off(and why): “I... I can’t condone what you’re doing, my sweet. I wish it could be different. I wish I could help you... but I cannot.” (Low Approval breaks off the romance)

Love confession: Heskan takes the Inquisitor walking along the battlements. “I... I never really thought I would find anyone who truly cared... but with you... I feel safe. I feel like... I could be happy.” The Inquisitor can flirt with him, which leads to a sex scene and lazy kissing in the Inquisitor’s bedroom, or say they love him, which leads to him pulling them to him with his bow string and kissing them deeply. “Then I am yours as long as you will have me, my sweet.” In either event, the Inquisitor can ask for a kiss or ask to “take a long walk,” which will result in a brief implied sex cutscene with a shirtless Heskan leaning over to kiss the Inquisitor in their bed.

Romanced tarot card: King of Pentacles

End game dialog: “You’ve done it. Beaten the villain, slain the dragon. I wish I could tell you it gets easier from here... but no matter what, I will be at your side, my sweet. Always.”

[shadowhuntertrash]

High Notes

Relationships:

Thomas Lightwood x Alastair Carstairs

James Herondale x Matthew Fairchild

Background Lucie Herondale x Jesse Blackthorn

Also obviously I own nothing but the plot. Characters are from Cassandra Clare

Chapter Three

  Thomas stood next to James staring at the tour bus. It was huge. It wasn’t like normal tour buses since there were so many of us. There weren’t bunk beds like Thomas had suspected, no there were literal rooms. There were two rooms with beds in them and Thomas was freaking out. This was so cool! 

   There were three buses, one for the Merry Thieves, one for Beautiful Cordelia, and the other for Alastair. Each had their respective names on one side of the bus and pictures of them on the other. There were two rooms in each bus so Cordelia, Lucie, and Alastair got their own room. 

   It was decided that, since Matthew and James were dating, they would share a room and Christopher and Thomas were sharing a room. Matthew and Christopher were already inside looking around but Thomas was still standing looking at the bus because this, this was real. He was so scared and nervous and excited. He didn’t want to get on the bus yet because that made it real and was he ready for that?

   James seemed to be having the same thoughts but was ripped from his thoughts by Matthew dragging him excitedly up the bus stairs to show him around. Thomas wanted to move but it was like his feet were bolted to the ground.

   He stood there for at least five more minutes until a voice caught his attention. “You alright there Lightwood? You look a little sick.” Thomas turns to see Alastair, his dyed blonde hair catching the light. He had always thought Alastair looked better with his naturally dark hair but who was he to judge?

Thomas gave him a tightlipped smile and let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah I’m fine. Just a little, anxious, I guess?” Alastair gave him a knowing look and walked close so they were standing side by side. “I know it looks a little daunting,” Alastair says looking at the tour bus. “But don’t let it get to you. You’ll have fun I promise. Plus everyone gets close on tour like it or not so you’ll always have all of us if you need it.” Alastair says shrugging as if that sentence hadn’t just rocked Thomas’ world.

   Of course his friends would be there for him but did Alastair just say he would too? Not that Thomas would ever go to him if something was wrong. He hated bothering people. Thomas flashed him a reserved smile and thanked him. 

   Alastair looked at Thomas as if he was expecting something. When Thomas looked at him confused Alastair just huffed and grabbed Thomas’ wrist, pulling him up the bus, not unlike how Matthew had pulled James earlier. Thomas’ stomach started doing a weird fluttery thing and his wrist felt like it was burning. Was it hot? It definitely got hot. 

   When they got inside they saw James and Matthew laughing on one of the couches. When Matthew turned to look at them and saw Alastair’s hand on Thomas’ wrist his eyebrows shot up and he gave Thomas a questioning look. Alastair let go quickly.

   “Glad to see you finally joined us Thomas. Though it looks like you needed some help.” Thomas laughed stiffly and walked over, hitting Matthew on the back of the head before heading towards the rooms. He saw Christopher laid out on one of the beds and immediately regretted sharing a room with him.

   How could Thomas have forgotten that Christopher one, took up the entire bed, two, was a blanket hot, and three, snored like there was no tomorrow. Thomas groaned loudly and threw his suitcase on the bed, careful not to hit Christopher, before walking back to the living room area of the bus.

Matthew and James were smirking at him and Thomas glared at them while Alastair stood by the table looking rather confused. “Y’all set me up!” Thomas says indignantly. James rolled his eyes and Matthew smiled at him innocently. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Tom.” Thomas groaned loudly and flopped on the couch flipping Matthew off. 

   Alastair looked at Thomas curiously, “Is everything alright Lightwood?” Thomas huffed again before turning to Alastair. “Matthew and James are sharing a room cause they’re a thing and so Christopher and I are sharing a room and it didn’t occur to me that he takes the entire bed, snores, and steals the covers.” Thomas all but whines. Alastair looked at him amused.

   “You do know I have two rooms on my bus right? You could just sleep in my bus I won’t bite.” Thomas felt his face burning and Matthew laughed behind him. “There you go Tom no need to fret, your knight in shining armor will come to your rescue.” Thomas glared as Alastair laughed and James hit Matthew on the back of the head. 

   Matthew frowned and swatted James hand away moving so he could put his head in James’ lap. James immediately began running his fingers through Matthew’s hair. Thomas smiled at them, they were literally so cute. Thomas wanted that. 

   He turned to Alastair and looked at him warily. “Are you sure you don’t mind? It’s not that big a deal I’m just complaining.” Alastair laughed and shook his head. “No it’s fine I promise. It’ll get lonely by myself after a while anyway.” Thomas smiled at him. “Thank you so much you’re a lifesaver!” Thomas said getting up and picking his suitcase up off the bed in Christopher’s room before walking back out and following Alastair back to his bus. 

   “Hey thanks again.” Thomas said walking up the stairs of Alastair’s bus. “Lightwood seriously, it's fine stop thanking me.” Thomas clenched his jaw and nodded walking into the empty room. He fell back onto his bed and watched as Alastair threw him a smirk. Thomas was about to say something when their phones went off simultaneously. 

   They both picked up, Thomas smiled when he heard Barbara’s enthusiastic voice on the other side. “Thomas you won’t believe what just happened!” She all but screamed in his ear. Thomas quickly pulled it away from his ear before she ruptured his eardrum. “Jesus Barbara don’t make me go deaf. I rather enjoy my hearing ability.” Barbara laughed and sniffed. Thomas felt a wave of dread wash over him. 

“Barb? Are you crying? Are you okay?” Thomas saw Alastair turn to him concerned before his attention as back on his sister. “Thomas I’m fine! He proposed! OLIVER PROPOSED!” Thomas burst out laughing and Alastair shot him a look before mouthing, Cordelia, and leaving Thomas to talk with Barbara.

   “Oh my god Barbara congrats!” Thomas said enthusiastically. Barbara sniffs again before laughing more. “What did mum and pops say?” Thomas asked, smiling as if this was happening to him. “I haven’t told them yet! I wanted to tell you first!” Barbara said excitedly. “Aww! This is why you’re my favorite! Genie would have kept me out of the loop forever!” Thomas said admittedly giddy.

  “For real though Barbara, I’m so happy for you, I’m glad you finally got your happily ever after.” Thomas said softly into the phone. Barbara laughs and he hears another voice in the background. “Thank you, Tommy.” Barbara says, her smile evident in her voice. “Is that Oliver?” Thomas asks.

   Barbara chuckles again, she hadn’t stopped since she called him. “Yeah. We’re on our way home to tell mum and pops.” Thomas smiles picturing his father’s proud face and his mother’s tears which were inevitably going to fall. 

   “May I speak with him really quickly?” Thomas asks, smiling. Barbara hesitated before there was a rustling noise on their side and then Oliver’s voice is coming through the speaker. “Hello?” Oliver says and Thomas smiles and the nervous tint in his voice.

   “Hey are you on speaker phone?” Thomas asks and Oliver chuckles anxiously. “Um no I’m not.” Thomas nods. He actually really liked Oliver. He obviously cared a lot about his sister and was a kind person. Thomas had been rooting for him from the get go.

   Thomas put on her stern voice before talking. “Okay so I’m going to say this because someone has to and my dad is too put together to do it.” Oliver audibly gulps and Thomas smiles knowing that Oliver is intimidated enough to actually listen to him.

   “If you hurt her in any way I will not hesitate to beat your ass to hell and back is that understood? And you should know I have at least five friends who would help me hide your body where no one would ever look.” Oliver laughs breathlessly and says, “Understood.” Thomas laughs and lightens his voice, his friends always told him he sounded scary when he got serious, but it didn’t happen often enough to be a problem.

   “Good and Oliver?” Oliver lets out a shaky ‘yes’. “I’m really glad you two are together.” Thomas says smiling. Oliver laughs again, his laugh dripping with relief. “Thanks man.” Thomas nods and says, “Okay now put Barbara back on.” 

   There was rustling again and then Barbara’s bright voice was back. “Please tell me you didn’t scare him too badly.” Barbara said and Thomas could hear a honk in the background. “I didn’t and I’m going to let you go because you’re driving and I just remembered that.” Thomas said feeling bad that he had forgotten she was calling and driving.

   Barbara laughed, “I was wondering why you weren’t hanging up on me yet.” Thomas rolled his eyes, “Shut up and go away.” Thomas said though it held no bite. “Yeah yeah love you too little brother.” Thomas laughed. “Love you too call me tonight!” Barbara laughed and promised she would before hanging up.

   Thomas sat on his bed a little longer a stupid smile on his face. His sister was getting married. That was such a crazy thought to Thomas, he remembered sitting down with her and helping her plan her wedding when she was ten. Now it was real, now there was no cut out picture of Chris Evans in a tux, now it was Oliver. Someone she truly loved (not that her love for Chris was fake god only knows how real that was).

   Thomas stood up and walked to the living room to see Alastair and Cordelia sitting there laughing. Cordelia looked surprised to see Thomas and looked to her brother with a question in her eyes. Thomas smiled at her and looked at Alastair (something he couldn’t help at this point, his eyes always seemed to find Alastair.) who appeared to be blushing? 

   Thomas mentally shook his head, because no way was Alastair blushing. He simply did not do that. Alastair let out a tense laugh. “He had to share a room with Christopher who is a fright to sleep with so I offered my extra room to him.” Cordelia nodded and gave Alastair a look Thomas couldn’t identify. “Oh of course, how kind of you Alistair.” Cordelia said in a teasing voice.

   Thomas didn’t understand what she was teasing him about, it was kind of Alastair to let him stay in his bus. Alastiar shoved Cordelia lightly before standing up. “Has Anna said how long it will be before we get to our first stop?” Alastair asked his sister. Cordelia shook her head and shrugged.

   “No, but she said we get a week in the first spot to set everything up and get used to it. We’re doing a few pop up shows too.” Thomas nods along with Alastair. He had been meaning to ask that as well.

   “I think I’m gonna spend the road trip part in Matthew and their bus.” Thomas said walking towards the door. Cordelia stood up and followed him. “I will as well, Lucie is already there. Alastair, joon, are you coming?” Alastair seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding and grabbing his phone from where it was on the table.

   As soon as the three of them got on the other boys bus, they started the traveling part of their trip. Thomas was once again seated next to Alastair and watched as Alastair talked passionately about his last tour.

    Thomas couldn’t help but notice all the little things Alastair did. All the small subconscious things he did when he was upset, or happy, or excited. He sat there and wondered if Alastair ever noticed the small things Thomas did. 

   Thomas stood up and went to grab his songwriting journal he left in Christopher’s room before sitting back down next to Alastair. He decided that he would do what he did best when he wanted answers but didn’t know how to ask. 

   He’d write a song.

@starryherondales

[ruinins]

—  ϟ  ›  ( bae suzy, cis woman, she/her )  ⋆  you know , the gossip in london is insidious , and gossip about a HALFBLOOD ( SEER ) like SYBILL TRELAWNEY seems to constantly be afloat. what i know for a fact , though , is that they’re a TWENTY THREE year old DRAGONOLOGIST who graduated as a RAVENCLAW from HOGWARTS. someone they went to school with told me that roaring flames just tenderly brushing your cheek, the subtle wrongness of a reflection in the mirror, crackling records playing on a phonograph, the gentle flickering light of a firefly, and a million glittering pieces of a broken crystal ball & THE LOVERS always reminded them of HER. maybe that’s why the WITCH has publicly declared their allegiance to NO ONE ? 

x

NAME : sybill trelawney ( no middle name ). NICKNAMES : none, technically, but she does have a korean name she uses at work—sihyeon—which her mother gave her. DATE OF BIRTH : march 9th, 1958. HOGWARTS HOUSE : ravenclaw. ZODIAC SIGN : pisces sun, scorpio moon, sagittarius rising / year of the dog. AGE : twenty - three. GENDER / PRONOUNS : cis woman & she/her. SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual, biromantic. PLACE OF BIRTH : belfast, ireland. EYE COLOR : dark brown. HAIR COLOR : black. HEIGHT : 5’4. SCARS : scar on her lower back ; burn scars littering her arms.  ETHNICITY : korean. PARENTS : trelawney, silvius ( father ); trelawney, victoria née kang ( mother, muggle, † ). SIBLINGS : only child. MARITAL STATUS : single. OCCUPATION : dragonologist. LANGUAGES : english, korean, some mandarin chinese.

CARD CORRESPONDENCE: sybill’s card is the lovers, reversed, representing her doubts in herself, her career, the people who surround her, and how cynical she’s become.sybill has always been littered with self-doubt. for herself, for the lineage she’s been born into, for her dubious gift that everyone insists isn’t really there. having no one believe in you takes a toll on a witch. she’s haunted by a need that never leaves her, a need to prove herself and her sight, a need that has only worsened with time ( no one knows how nauseating it feels, to face a portrait of the great cassandra trelawney after receiving a dreadful in divination ). there’s something to be said about fake it until you make it, but sybill never quite manages to make it. slowly, the doubt has been sinking its claws into her, and she’s been shrinking away from her wants and focusing more on other things, practical things––her aimless job, her aimless life.

 until recently, sybill wandered through life with a certain naivete. it’s served her well, like most things in life that aren’t the second sight. but then, she let someone close, let herself believe they cared about her, let herself open up only to be stabbed in the back. figuratively and literally, by the scar that still stings whenever she reaches behind to brush her hands over it. she’s changed, become aware of the snakes in the grass––become aware that they don’t always look like snakes. this mistrust in others is slowly bordering on paranoia, but she can’t seem to make it stop. people call her a falsifier, a manipulator, a fool; why shouldn’t she meet energy with energy, insult with insult, distaste with distaste ? 

ministry file / pinterest board  ( EYES TW for the board ) / playlist

tw: murder ( mentioned, also attempted murder ), neglect ( ? ), parental death ( skip paragraph beginning with ‘sixteen’ ! )

zero.

you don’t know this, you’ll never know this, but it was your father who named you. hunched over your laughing mother and clutching your tiny fist between his fingers, tears streaming down his face, he pleaded sybill, call her sybill. an oracle of delphi born anew. in a few weeks, you will both be the subject of controversy: the girl who’s birth ended the pureblood trelawney line, and the pureblood who fell for a muggle. but for now, you are loved.

eight.

you live in a cottage, small and hidden, tucked into a nook of ireland where there are more animals than people. this is purposeful. your father has a manor in london, a hanok in korea, but it is this cottage where the three of you can live at peace. your father is gone most days; you have no idea what he does. instead, your mother teaches you things, practical things. “what if you lose your magic; how will you cook then ?” you think her reasoning is silly, but you play along - even if your father comes home to a look of distaste when he sees you manually scrubbing dishes.

something happens to you. you’re outside, playing, when you reach out to pet a cat that’s just appeared - and a haze settles in. fog clouds your mind, your sight; there’s nothing. no darkness, no void: there is just nothing. and then there is your mother, frantic, choking on tears as she shakes you. later, your father will grin. “has my little sybill inherited cassandra’s gift ?” he’s joking, of course. no one in the family has had cassandra trelawney’s inner eye in generations. 

but when you’re taken to a healer, nothing is wrong. nothing they can find, anyway. and a spark lights in you.

sixteen.

your mother is dead. your mother is dead. taken from you while you couldn’t protect her, while you were in school; your father insists he took his eyes off of her for just a second, but you don’t believe him at all. he’s always wanted you to be more witch than muggle. he’s never understood that she’s both, in a way, and that that’s okay. you wonder if he killed her or if he sent someone to do it, instead. either way, he is a coward and a fool and you hate him; this, you tell him.

the next christmas break, you don’t visit home.

eighteen.

you don’t come home for summer break, either. you don’t come back at all until after graduation, to face cassandra trelawney’s portrait and beg for guidance. for help with your gift. the gift that has abandoned you, it seems, along with your mother. 

you apply, young and naïve, for the position of divination professor at hogwarts. as if anyone would hire you. the rejection stings, but what hurts more is having to face your father. he seems to have planned this outcome all along, and when he offers to help you find a realistic job using his connections, you want to do the filthy muggle thing and punch him.

you take his offer, however, when he reveals it’s in korea. away. that is what you need. away from him, away from london, away from that damned portrait. a week later, you’re in seoul. a week after that, you’re a dragonologist-in-training.

twenty two.

you travel, often. your specialty is hatchlings, and the reserve has begun to branch out, so they send you on missions to other reserves - get an egg, bring it back. in one of your travels, something happens, something unexpected: you meet someone. they’re charming, kind. when you tell them about your gift, their eyes light up. they believe you. you trust them fast.

you don’t see them often, but when you do, it’s incredible. you think they might be something special. you want them to be something special.

then, that night. you’re not sure what happened. everything is a haze; you’d been feeling like that for hours, feeling wrong. they were aggressive. they wanted something. and that fog, the one that had only flickered to life once every few years, was returning. for a moment, you knew nothing. and then you knew blood. the taste of iron, the way it stuck to your fingers. they’d stabbed you. surely, they had; there was no one else in your home, no blood but yours staining your floors.

your father is the one that finds you by a stroke of fate. takes you to a healer. you live, but something in you dies. 

if you ever see them again, they will wish they’d finished you off with the killing curse instead.

twenty three.

you’re back in wizarding london. it’s been years. technically, you’re here for work - “the macfusty’s have to have a hebridean black egg, sihyeon; do well and find us one.” - but you seem to have fallen right into a budding war. you don’t want anything to do with it. you will go in, get an egg, and get out before anything terrible happens. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS 

hogwarts friends / enemies / bullies  ––  for, um, obvious reasons, sybill wasn’t terribly popular at school. i’m literally down for anything from hogwarts, from close friends who drifted after her mother died to people who terrorized her for making prophecies and being a “false seer”, to those she finessed with her you’re going to die in a week-type proclamations.

THE STABBY STAB  ––  so when i was coming up with this i very much wanted sybill to be stabbed instead of cursed bc a) stabbing is something that can be So Personal and b) it’s more of a muggle thing, and it’s fitting for someone who does often to things the “odd”/muggle way to find her ( almost ) end in the same way. i really..... don’t have much else for this connection; the way i visualized it, this person was probably looking for a seer for Some Reason, and whatever sybill told them during her vision - bc she did have a Real Prophecy that night - it wasn’t something they wanted to hear. or something they wanted to get out. sybill definitely had romantic feelings for them, but this obviously didn’t need to be reciprocated - the relationship could’ve been 100% platonic. does this character regret The Stab ? did they kind of want her to live ? are they prepared for the suplex she’ll give them On Sight ? 

ruin me, ruin us, and i’ll let you  ––  this is, incredibly enough, not a romantic connection. i mentioned in my now-deleted gonetalk post that i love platonic soulmates; this is that. whether they connected instantly or they had to slowly get accommodated to each other, i want someone to have an Unbreakable Bond with sybill. they don’t have to already be friends, maybe it slowly happens, but eventually they’d both do anything for each other. if u have read the poppy war series, yes this is very much a wc based off of rin and kitay, those are the Vibes i’m going for.

this town’s only big enough for one cowboy  ––  I DON’T THINK THERE’S ONE YET BUT IF U ARE PLANNING A SECOND CHARACTER..... . .. picture this: someone who’s a seer who is actually competent, and can actually prophesize well instead of Whenever The Inner Eye Wants To. the jealousy ! the rivalry ! the mocking ! the shame ! GIVE IT TO ME NOW....

family friends ? family ? cousins ?  ––  i have sybill’s family being purebloods up to her, so i’d imagine she has a few distant family members or family friends running around ?  i imagine her father runs in pro-death eater circles but isn’t one so !

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices