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vampish-glamour · 3 years ago

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I was tagged in this by @ugh-fml but was recently blocked by OP for, unbeknownst to me, being a terf. Their reasoning for my supposed terfy ways; believing enbies can’t be lesbians. Which is the opposite of what terfs believe, but I guess that doesn’t matter because as we all know, “terf” means “person (lesbian) I don’t agree with and who makes me feel invalid”.

I’d still like to respond, because I have Thoughts.

Okay, let’s break this down.

For the whole “validity” aspect, I’ll link this post. I was actually going to include it here… but decided it should be it’s own post. So that post will cover anything here that makes an argument based on “validity”.

Now let’s look at the whole “it’s their business if they want to call themselves something that doesn’t describe them, people who that word does describe can’t complain” thing.

I’m not transgender. I don’t experience gender dysphoria, I have no desire to transition. I am comfortable with my birth sex, my birth pronouns, my birth name, everything.

But you know what…”transgender” just has such a nice ring to it. And the flag is really pretty, pink blue and white are just such a nice colour combination. I think I’m going to call myself transgender.

No, I’m not planning on transitioning from one gender/sex to the other. No, I don’t have any discomfort with my birth sex. No, the word “transgender” literally does not describe me. But it just feels right. So transgender people have no right to come and tell me that I’m not valid, because I get to pick my own identity and it’s my own business and I’m valid!! I am a female to female (FtF) transgender!!! If trans people don’t accept me as one of them, they’re FtFphobic. And to those of you who say I don’t fit the definition of transgender; I changed the definition to fit me. It doesn’t fit transgender people anymore, but that’s okay because I feel good.

I would really hope that this sounds ridiculous to you. I would hope that anyone who reads that, especially transgender people, would be rolling their eyes and ready to tell me off if I were being serious.

It doesn’t matter if I think a word (in this case, transgender) feels good, or if I think it’s my new identity. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell you I’m valid. The word does not describe me, and I therefore should not and can not use it. And if I insisted on using it despite it not describing me, trans people absolutely have the right to make it their business, because I’d be hijacking a word they use to describe themselves and using it in a way it’s not intended to be used (and in a way that it doesn’t make sense to use).

Apply this to combining nonbinary and lesbian.

Lesbian is understood to be a descriptive word of women’s homosexuality. Nonbinary is understood to be a descriptive word for those whose gender falls outside of the binary.

The two do not mix. If you say “I am a lesbian”, you are saying that you are a homosexual woman. If you say that you are nonbinary, you are saying that you are not a woman and not a man.

So to say “I am a nonbinary lesbian”, you are literally saying “I am not a woman or a man and I am a homosexual woman”.

It makes no sense.

Now regarding my above statement on how I could claim to be transgender despite not being transgender… the ridiculousness of that statement is what many people, especially homosexual women, see when we see people claiming to be a “nonbinary lesbian”. We see somebody who quite literally does not fit the definition of lesbian, calling themselves a lesbian for no good reason. We see somebody changing the definition of a term we use to describe our sexuality (note: sexuality, not identity).

On the part about “journey to discovery of self”….

What are you even talking about? What journey? What discovery? This seriously just sounds like some words strung together to sound profound and meaningful when they just… aren’t.

Yes, figuring out sexuality and gender can be a journey for some people. Redefining words and calling yourself something that doesn’t describe you doesn’t necessarily need to be part of that journey. Seriously, “lesbian = woman” is not a hard concept to grasp. If your little self discovery journey leads you to discovering you’re not a woman, congratulations, you’ve automatically discovered that you’re not a lesbian.

“Nonbinary lesbians have told me they’re lesbians, and that’s good enough for me”.

How dense. Just because somebody tells you something, doesn’t mean it’s true. I just told you earlier in this post that I’m transgender despite not being transgender in the most basic sense of the word. If I were to say what I said with complete seriousness, would that be good enough for you?? Would me, a cis girl, simply telling you that I’m FtF transgender, be good enough for you to believe that I really am transgender?? What if I started spreading my idea for FtF and got a bunch of other people on board? What if you had a bunch of FtF people telling you we’re transgender, because we saw a bunch of Tumblr posts about it and believe we’re valid trans people? Would that be good enough for you to support the idea of FtF transgender??

I certainly hope not. Because there’s no such thing as being both cisgender and transgender at the same time. Just like there’s no such thing as being not a woman, and a woman exclusively attract to women, at the same time.

And I’d like to ask, why do they think they can call themselves lesbians? Why do they want to call themselves lesbians? Why is it that people who claim to not be a binary gender, want to use a term that is binary in nature? Why do they feel the need to use a term that does not describe them?

And using the definition of lesbian that says “lesbian means woman exclusively attracted to women”, because that’s what it meant before a bunch of enbies changed it to suit their wants… what about “woman exclusively attracted to women” describes a nonbinary person in the way it describes a homosexual woman?

“You know what it’s like to be told what you should or should not be”

Yeah, I do. I see people telling homosexuals all the time that homosexuality is a sin, that it’s a temptation, that it’s unnatural, that we should get therapy to “fix” our sexuality, that our natural sexuality should be criminalized, that we should be killed for being homosexual… I could go on.

This is nowhere close to being the same as enbies being told that they cannot claim to be both genderless and a homosexual woman.

To even imply that homosexuals being told all of those things, and enbies being told to not be contradictory, are the same thing… is tone deaf and incredibly fucking insensitive.

Being told that your sexuality is unnatural and that you should change, is not the same as being told that the labels you’ve picked out for your “identity” are contradictory.

So I’m not even going to take that argument seriously, because what homosexuals are told about being homosexual, and what “nonbinary lesbians” are told about being “nonbinary lesbians”, ARE NOT THE SAME OR EVEN COMPARABLE.

At the end of all this… there is still no concrete reasoning for why somebody should be able to use a label that doesn’t describe them. Why somebody should be able to redefine that label to fit them, why they even need it to fit them in the first place.

“They’re valid” is not an argument.

“They told me so” is not an argument.

“It’s their identity” is not an argument.

What I am saying, which is;

“you cannot be both genderless and a homosexual woman. That is contradictory. You cannot use a label that doesn’t describe you, and you cannot redefine it to describe you if you cannot give a solid reason why it should describe you in the first place”,

that is an argument.

#glam’s #long post #despite my views about nb that my followers likely know… I tried to be as neutral about it here as possible

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trans-advice · 2 years ago

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Hi 🫣 I am a genderfluid afab enby (late bloomer, knew I might be fluid as a teen but was afraid to present non-feminine until later on) and I was told that means I am technically trans, is that correct?

I feel as though saying so makes me an intruder on trans spaces.. I mean, as a fluid person, I have no "final gender destination".... to "transition" over to... you know? And enbies have a separate flag as do genderfluid folks...

On the same note. I saw a trans tik tokker explain that their obsession with gender died out after they completed their transition. Being fluid.. does that mean I will always hyperfocus on my identity? (Am also neurodivergent and my gender identity is a hyperfixation currently).

Sorry about the long delay.

Yes, firstly transgender includes anybody with gender identities that were not assigned to them at birth. If your gender situation has the gender identity assigned to you at birth & gender identities that are incongruent with that assignment, then yes you can be both cis & trans (however, I suspect cissexists would say that's not pure cisgender enough to not be trans).

Secondly, nonbinary includes both gender fluid & gender solid people (I'm not sure if "solid" is the preferred term anymore, but whatever).

Thirdly, with the separate flags thing, you can actually use both flags, but the making a flag for every identity comes out of an era when the LGBT+ acronym had the rainbow flag, but the gays & lesbians kind of monopolized the discussions. So in order to avoid that monopolization, we make flags just for our things in addition to the umbrella flags.

Fourthly, there are 3 types of transition: medical, social, and legal. "Trans" is not short for "transitioning". That whole line of thinking is tied up in assimilation praxis. Currently, the governments in charge of keeping track of identity haven't figured out how to have ID cards in a way that recognizes not only genderfluidity, but say multiple names. In fact, this idea that identities are solid is not only tied into ID cards & surveillance, but also dismissal/violation of consent, normalizing hierarchies & transfer of power, etc.

Fifthly, a good piece of advice I heard for when you're questioning is to do the gender expression that you want to do first, and then figure out your identity. For example, once I had access to some dollar store makeup & a therapist, i was able to figure out that I'm a woman.

Sixthly, I find that as a no-op gender solid trans woman, that my thinking about my gender identity didn't stop after transitioning. I've been a feminist since I was 2, like studying gender & stuff is what gives me life. But what I do find is once I figured out my gender situation enough, and I was able to transition, that I didn't have to reinvent the wheel as much. I think of transitioning as gathering permission to live as I consent to be, but also organizing the stuff I use for my gender expression & not having to rebuild because of violence. Basically, I wasn't obsessing about what I needed to do or how to find safety. The point of transitioning is to improve your quality of life.

So to summarize, what I think you need is to figure out how you want to express yourself. Get a safe location(s)/space(s) where not only can you keep your items that will help you express yourself, but also a place to then get yourself ready & then use them. (This could be as simple as your room if you have housing & no hostile roommates.) I'm not sure whether the people around you will be unsafe or affirming. You'll have to figure that out too. When you're organizing your items for your gender expression of the various gender identities you go through, personally I carry around a purse (but when I had to pretend I was a boy I would use totebags or whatever) and in there I have some gender-affirming items for some of the gender identities you frequently are. So say some roll on deodorant of different scents, makeup, maybe a couple of articles of clothing that you can put on in a bathroom stall, maybe some jewelry, maybe some retractable eyeliner or lipstick to draw on your skin with. Remember, these need to make you feel good. If people validate your gender identity then that's a bonus, but it shouldn't be your goal because people are not reliable for that. So work on making yourself the best feeling that you can & then go from there. If you still feel bad, then maybe do some other self-care practices.

Point being, you're mainly going to go for the social transitioning here. The composition of the social groups you interact with can obviously vary. I asked around & heard cis people often won't get your gender identity & therefore passing won't work. However, having even a few people who affirm you, along with other affirmative customs such as pronoun pins, people introducing themselves with their pronouns, etc, will make a big difference. If you're at least able to screen out haters then that's still good!

I don't know your specific gender identities, how frequently you identify with specific ones, your body, and what you consent to, so I'm not going to give medical transition & body modification recommendations. I will also say that in addition to pre-op & post-op, there's also no-op. If people are saying you have to have surgery & it's not for a specific legal thing, then they're not being inclusive. You are still valid. Your body, your choice.

Good Luck, Peace & Love,

Eve

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 4 years ago

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may sound like a dumb question but- can non binary people use the trans flag as their main instead of the nonbinary one? i just think the colors are cuter...

Lee says:

There are some people whose identities fall under the umbrella but chose not to identify as trans and that’s okay, but if you do like being part of the trans community then you’re certainly welcome to call yourself trans and use the trans pride flag as well.

Transgender is an umbrella term that includes binary trans men, binary trans women, and all non-binary folks!

I’m non-binary myself, and I have a bunch of stuff with the trans pride flag on it! Including an actual flag haha (I think you can see me standing in front of the flag in a pic I posted on this blog 2 years ago).

So yes, someone non-binary can use the term transgender to describe themself, and use the transgender flag. I do!

(Sidenote- please don’t use ableist language in your asks!)

#Lee says #dumb /#trans #non-binary #trans pride flag #flags #pride flag #pride flags #ableist language m #Anonymous #transgender #transgenderteensurvivalguide #TTSG #nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender teen survival guide

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rjalker · 3 years ago

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just got this PM on iNaturalist:

I am deliriously crazy about your profile. You have made my day. As mother of a non-binary adult, I've read lots of people's stories but I can't remember every reading anything more eloquent. I can't wait to tell them about your participation in iNaturalist. I am also a vertebrate biologist with broad interests in biology.

Here's the part of my iNaturalist profile they're referring to:

And here's a link:

https://www.inaturalist.org/people/nonbinary-naturalist

here's the quote lol

Pronouns are it/its, I am autistic, aroace, and nonbinary :)

-What does it mean that my pronouns are it/its?

It means that when reffering to me, you should use "it" in place of "she" or "he", and "its" in place of "hers" or "his".

Here's an example:

"That's nonbinary-naturalist, it's the top identifier for small-flower pawpaws! It lives in Savannah, and is always taking pictures of birds and plants when it goes on walks or rides its bike!"

-What does nonbinary mean?

Nonbinary means not-binary. Binary means two, and in this case, the binary refers to the "gender binary" of "male/man" and "female/woman".

Someone who is nonbinary is transgender, but instead of "going from" one binary gender to the other (male to female, or female to male), they are instead a gender that isn't just male or female.

Nonbinary people can be no gender (sometimes called agender), both male and female, male or female and something else, constantly moving between genders, and anything and anywhere in between.

Anyone can be nonbinary, yes, even you reading this! There's no age limit for questioning your gender. If you don't feel that "man" or "woman" suit you, you can be nonbinary :)

I am nonbinary, and I am also aroace, otherwise known as aromantic and asexual.

-What do these words mean?

Asexual or ace = someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction, or only experiences it in specific circumstances, or very rarely. (This isn't the same thing as being celibate, which is when people /choose/ not to pursue sexual relationships, usually for religious reasons.)

Aromantic = someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction, or only experiences it in specific circumstances, or very rarely.

Aroace means you're both asexual and aromantic in some way, and for me, it means I never experience sexual or romantic attraction, nor do I want a relationship of any kind.

My orientation affects my gender identity, since I am not attracted to anyone and don't want anyone to be attracted to me.

So I like to describe my gender as being like a nonhumanoid alien who is visiting Earth for the first time, who is confused and alarmed by humans flirting with it.

My icon is a flower with a wasp on it in the colors of the aroace flag (orange, yellow, white, light blue, navy blue), and the flower petals in the colors of the xiqyne flag, which is the name I gave the way I describe my gender.

This is known as a "xenogender", or a gender that is described using metaphors or comparisons, rather than just "I'm male" or "I'm female". The xiqyne flag colors are dark magenta, magenta, sky blue, ice blue, pale green, and pale yellow. Xenogenders can be about just the way you describe your gender, or, like mine, they can combine your orientation with your gender to show a better picture of your experiences.

If you haven't heard of iNaturalist before, it's a website (and mobile app, but the site works much better than the app since they don't have a lot of funding) where anyone--yes, including you, person who only has the camera on their phone!!--can post pictures or sound recordings of any plants, animals, or mushrooms they find!

The "observations" as they are called help not only the people in your community learn what species are nearby, the site is used for research by scientists all over the planet to track species and their behavior!

Just the other day someone in south africa helped me identify a flower that's native to north america, but invasive where they live!

You can upload pictures at any time, as long as you now approximately when and where they were taken. So if you've got pictures from decades ago, but you know when and where they were taken, you can still upload them, and they'll help keep track of where the species were years ago!

It's all completely free, and super fun if you want to learn about what species are in your local ecosystem, or if you just enjoy taking pictures :)

#:)#Rjalker does iNaturalist #trans #nonbinary #ititspronouns #transgender #xiqyne #xenogender

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roxzania · 4 years ago

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My Wisdom

So, I get asked quite frequently on my LGBTQ+ Roblox Community about a lot of LGBTQ+ stuff. It's kind of awesome to help people out on that platform, but also a bit risky since you can (and most likely will) get banned for saying positive things about the LGBTQ+ community. People who tend to say bad things are less likely to get in trouble compared to the people who are sending positivity, making avatar accessories, LGBTQ+ friendly "experiences", and so on. Overall, the outcome of the staff being really anti-LGBTQ+ (and I still have the emails telling me I cannot upload LGBTQ+ flag decals and accessories) has put a damper on my mood for the past few months. And in spite, I turned my old avatar accessory stuff into IRL merch. So they can suck it! | My DNI List | (mobile version)| With that said, I have quite a lot of questions from the group which is about 600+ people now. Still growing and lots of questions almost weekly, and really good questions that I wish I could explain more about. So... this is kinda what I'm going to do here. This is a butt load of Q&A;

I get this question quite a few times: What spectrum or umbrella is genderfluid classified as? Genderfluid can fit under many umbrellas and spectrums because of how fluid it is. The majority of the time, it's mostly labeled under the Transgender, Nonbinary, and Multigender umbrellas and spectrum. But it can include various other umbrellas/spectrums, including Agender, Xenogender, and Demigender (possibly even more) depending on how an individual feels about their gender identity. Of course, since it's a part of so many it can be considered on its own in a way. Again, it's all up to the individual, since everyone experiences it differently.

"If I went from demiromantic to akoiromantic in the span of a few weeks, and I sometimes feel less romantic than other times, would that be Aroflux?" Aroflux is when someone fluctuates across the aromantic spectrum and sometimes even into the alloromantic spectrum too. So, if someone were to feel their romantic attraction fluctuates mostly on the aromantic spectrum, Aroflux would be a term to describe that feeling. And it never has to be the entire aromantic spectrum, it can be specific terms or feelings instead. But I wholeheartedly recommend doing research on your own to figure out if you really identify with Aroflux or any other term. Sometimes reading through the aromantic spectrum list helps people.

"Is it normal to have multiple orientations?" Yes! And it's very valid! When most people think of multiple orientations, they think of the different attractions. For example, someone being Biromantic and Asexual. Or Demisexual and Lesbian. But you can also have multiple terms for the same kind of attraction! You can be mspec lesbian or mspec gay, those are valid (don't believe anyone who says otherwise)! People generally use multiple orientations to fill in the gaps one term may leave for them, as not everyone has the same definition or feeling for a term. The difference should be respected because it's important for some people and that matters the most!

"do you have any tips on coming out?" I've only come out to my closest family and all my friends pretty much know beforehand. But I know it depends on who you're trying to come out to. And age sometimes matters (like if your young and under guardianship still), because it's not very safe for youth to come out when their guardians are hostile towards LGBTQ+ members. Even though, I dislike letting people have to hide or feel fear of the idea... I do want to look out for people's safety. I don't want people to get hurt in any way. And sometimes waiting to come out is a better option. If you know your family is conservative, be a little cautious. Think about your plan of coming out. Maybe ask questions to get an idea of what they think about LGBTQ+. For example; "Do you know what Pride Month is?". Sometimes that sounds like your seeking answers to curiosity without outing yourself before you know their thoughts. I know a bit from experience, cause I'm still waiting to come out and some of my family is conservative. This is sort of my plan to work up the courage and know it's safe to come out to them. And as someone older and still hearing what family says, it sounds a lot different once you understand what they're talking about.

"I have been in the Nonbinary umbrella a while and I kinda think I am still a girl but I am not sure since I don't like the girl title on me..." It's up to the individual in the end. But also, pronouns do not equal gender. And gender does not equal physical appearance. So, if that's your main concern you are still valid no matter what gender identity you identify with. Dress how you want and use the pronouns that make you comfortable! But if you still concerned, I do again recommend some research. But there are many types of non-binary genders out there. You can even use multiple to define yourself! If it's an intensity fluctuation where you feel like a girl strongly at one moment but then not at all another moment, it could be similar to a Demigender. There's also Paragender, similar to Demigender which is to describe more of someone who feels more like one gender but there is still a small part of them that feels like another or a combination of others. But those are only two of the many many options out there! There are tons of genders that are feminine/female/girl-aligned, close but not quite feminine/female/girl, or even just a tiny bit feminine/female/girl-aligned, while also still being nonbinary in some way. Nonbinary is a rather large umbrella, so there is a big list to research and choose from!

This is a two-part question and I had a little help answering it with @orlan-the-sapphic on my group's wall. It was an awesome question and really interesting! "Can Demigirlfluidflux be a thing? Or am I just really indecisive? I'm really confused on which I am it's all mixed up for me" Orlan's reply: "I'm pretty sure it's possible. I mean there's already a term for Demifluidflux but without the girl or something female part. I mean you could probably make the term of the identity yourself if someone hasn't already if that's what you find for who you are or for others too". (I love Orlan's reply, couldn't have said it better myself). I definitely believe Demigirlfluidflux is a thing. I'd imagine it's probably a combination of Demifluidflux and Girlflux, or maybe Demifluidflux and Demigirl (possibly even all three?). I'm unable to find a definition for it, but it's probably similar to Demifluidflux but with female being static (stationary or main, not meant to mean strictly binary) gender alongside possible other genders and intensities. It would make sense since demigirl is a label based off of demigender but defines more of the female-aligned experience. But coming back to what Orlan said, if someone wants to they can make their own term. This might including making your own flag (whether it's a combination or completely new)! "I have another question... does Agenderfluix mean both fluid and flux with any gender? And if not is there a Agender term for being fluidflux with only demigirl and demiboy?" Agenderfluix, from my understanding, is mostly considered Agender however similar to how Fluidflux fluctuates in between different genders and different intensities. There are many ways for it to fluctuate and can experience many genders as it's a mixed term of Genderfluid, Genderflux, and Agender based off of the wiki page I linked. As for another term for Fluidflux, I couldn't find one with just demigirl and demiboy. I would imagine it's probably a mixed term like Agenderfluix. Maybe named something like Demibifluidflux? A mixture of Demigender, Bigender, and Fluidflux. It would be something I recommend searching up. If nothing pops up, again people can make their own terms to help identify themselves the way they want.

And last but not least; "Is it possible to just not identify as a gender? I find it annoying finding it out and I identify as Agender now, but I don't know if that will stick. My gender switches between most genders and then sometimes I don't identify as one..." That is a possibility and it's really up to the individual on how they want to identify or not identify. As someone who is Genderfluid, I often feel like this. Either I; switch between many genders, don't know what I am, only switch between certain ones most of the time, just don't want to deal with the hassle of figuring it out, or feel like nothing at all. There have been so many feelings about gender I've experienced over the past 4ish years of knowing I was Genderfluid, plus more before knowing (which was really confusing at first). And the thing about Genderfluid is that it's not always a broad spectrum. You can be specific genders throughout your entire experience, either fluctuate regularly or in the past. It happens to some people and that's okay! Sometimes it is just a hassle to call it something, so it's okay if you don't use a term. You don't need a label to be valid! Genderfluid is probably one of the broader terms to use when someone experiences a fluctuating gender. But there are of course many other types of fluctuating terms, including ones that describe intensity on top of fluctuation. Again (probably gonna say this a million times), something to look up on for yourself.

I found those questions rather neat to answer, plus I enjoy helping people out when I can. Remember; no matter if your identity or orientation changes over time, you're still valid! And you are the sole person in control of deciding who you are and how you want to label yourself (or even not at all)- Roxzania💙

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sheathandshear · 4 years ago

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the older I get, the more I hate the whole "lgbtq+ narratives must always be #ownvoices and people can only write their own identities because anything else will be fake and fetishizing and can never capture the True Lived Experience of being xyz” because like. look. setting aside all the many, many other problems about that: this may be uncomfortable to hear if you’ve built your sense of self out of hyperspecific pride flags, but identity is subjective, and identities change. if you equate “immutably are” with “identify as at the moment of writing a thing”, then over the course of 15+ years of writing I’ve ‘been’ at various times straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, queer, grey ace, ace-aro; femme, androgynous, cisgender, transgender, female, genderfluid, nonbinary, and now some kind of masc; she/her, zie/zir, they/them, he/him... my identity has been fluid and evolving, and at the same time, absolutely nothing fundamental about me has changed. my life experiences aren’t retrospectively radically altered the moment I change the pronouns on my twitter bio! the person writing that transmasc character six months ago is the same one writing that transmasc character today, and yet because my labels changed, the piece produced six months ago is fake but the one produced today is legit? should I be backdating my authenticity? hmm, the publication date of this fic is 21 march 2013 and at the time I thought I was entirely straight and cisgender so that queer nonbinary character is offensive appropriation; however, by 18 june 2014 I was still IDing as cis but now queer and having tentative gender feelings so was it #ownvoices then? or not officially awarded that designation until 28 aug 2015? the lesbian character written on 4 dec 2009 was #ownvoices but this was retroactively rescinded on 30 nov 2010 when I determined that I was bi... it’s silly! lgbtq+ identities are not species classifications! many people -- yes, including the ones who eventually determine themselves to be cishet -- move through different explorations and ways of understanding themselves & their relation to others, and this siloed, #HashtagIdentity way of determining who is allowed to write what manages to encourage infighting & identity policing AND squash empathy & solidarity between people with similar but not identical experiences AND erase all nuance and complexities of the lives of people whose voices it supposedly boosts so like... great job yall, definitely creating a quality environment for everyone here.

#writing #queer #nonbinary #trans #lgbtq+#politics #my issues with very online lgbtq culture let me show you them #also -- different ppl with the same identity can have EXTREMELY different takes on said identity?????#including ones that the other person can find actively offensive or triggering or inauthentic to THEIR experiences??#what a sad little way of approaching the richness of human existence #faffing about with my thoughts

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faemytho · 4 years ago

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If you're not too busy, I need some LGBTQ+ related advice. I was talking to someone earlier today, and I mentioned the topic of transgender people. I gave an example of "just because someone has the chest and (other parts) of a female doesn't automatically make them a woman", but they said it didn't make sense. They're older than me, so they know what a transvestite is, and they told me their work involves understanding brain development, but they only think of this as an opinion, (1/2)

(2/2)not an identity. I don't want to accuse them of being a t**f, but I don't know how to prove my point without simply calling it intuition. As someone who was a she/her but isn't anymore, do you know how to/if you can help me/anyone else that can have this problem?

(here’s a good post that debunks the ‘gender is in the brain’ myth)

Note that I am not a professional, nor do I claim to speak for all trans people, but I am a trans person and I have a lot of experience with other trans people (I think I can count on one hand the amount of cisgender friends I have). So here’s my essay. Clowning in the notes will get you blocked on sight.

Also I’m not typically an advice blog but sure, I can answer this. Your friend actually is spouting t**f rhetoric, but that doesn’t necessarily make them a t**f. They probably genuinely do not understand the difference between sex and gender. So let me tell you, there’s a huge difference.

Gender as it pertains to our biological sex is a social construct. In other words, “sex=gender” is an incorrect formula. It’s not true.

As far as gender identity is concerned, it’s important to stress the fact that feeling an inherent sense of ‘this is incorrect’ when a trans person’s gender is associated with their birth sex.... is not an opinion. It’s not a choice a trans person just decides to make, nor is it a choice they even can make.

Thinking from this standpoint through a logical lens, if trans people could choose their genders, they likely would not exist as “trans people” if they could just choose to be cisgender. So why do so many trans people exist if it’s all just “a choice”? Do they choose to be part of an oppressed group that has no set in stone protections (in America) so they can make themselves targets of discrimination so they can wallow in self-pity about how they’ve reached rock bottom because of how discriminated against they’ve been? Why would they do that, that’s stupid. That is what makes no sense to me. It’s illogical, so why would people choose to do it?

Because it’s not a choice. Sex and gender identity are not the same; they are far from it. It has been proven before and it can be proven again.You can’t chose your sex, and you can’t choose your gender identity either.

A personal experience of mine, I used to know a trans person who encountered a xenogender label they absolutely adored. It catered directly to their special interest, they said it was a fantastic label with a beautiful flag and a beautiful definition... but it wasn’t their gender. They wanted so badly to identify as this gender but they couldn’t, because it just didn’t match their gender identity. “It’s not me, no matter how badly I want it to be.” It would be just as bad as forcing themself (a trans person) to identify as the same gender as their assigned sex at birth. It wasn’t them.

And that was that. I’ve actually encountered several labels like that myself; where I just loved them to death but I couldn’t identify as them because they weren’t me. Because it would feel wrong if I just decided, “you know what? Fuck it! I’ll use this label!” It would feel just as bad as being forced to be a gender I am not.

Would I benefit from identifying as a man? The answer is yes, I would! We live in a patriarchal society, I would reap a ton of benefits by identifying as and presenting as a man. But I don’t, because the idea of being male is inherently incorrect to me. I can’t choose it, even if I wanted to.

I love the female label. I love feminine things. I love them a lot, but I don’t love them when they’re used to refer to me. I can’t force myself to be female, nor would I want to, because it’s not what fits; it’s incorrect. It’s incongruent with me.

Here’s a roughly paraphrased transcription from one of my textbooks:

Biological sexes are the genitals and sex characteristics one is born with (when those sex characteristics may not fully match up as entirely of the male sex or entirely of the female sex, that person is considered intersex). Gender identity is defined as one's innate, inner sense of being male, female, something other, or something in-between. Gender expression is how one chooses to present themselves to themselves or others, which includes their appearance, dress, mannerisms, and speech patterns. Gender expression and gender identity do not have to match.

Here’s something you can choose: Gender expression. Dressing in drag, for example! Let’s break this down.

Transvestism is the practice of dressing in a manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex. (Why do we associate clothes with specific sexes? Why have we given specific clothes a sex assignment? Clothes are clothes; they can be worn by anyone regardless of sex and it’s not going to change someone’s sex. If women can wear pants and suits, why can’t men wear skirts? It’s actually the misogyny and toxic masculinity, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole).

Your appearance, your clothes, your personality, and even the way you talk, those are all things you can consciously influence and change. Expression is something you can change, but gender identity is not. An identified woman in a suit is still a woman. An identified man in a dress is still a man.

Food for thought. An intersex person exists, and stands before you. How do you answer the question, “What’s their gender?”. It cannot be answered by applying the “sex=gender” formula. Their sex is intersex; they are not completely, entirely, or just male or female. If one is supposed to go off of biological sex, how then do you determine their gender?

Logically? The “sex=gender” formula holds no weight. It just simply isn’t true. Another example. We insist on giving non-human characters genders, even when there is no biological component to go off of.

Wall-E and Eve, for example. They may be male and female coded respectively, but they don’t have any biological sex; they’re robots! How then does the “sex=gender” formula hold up? There’s no “sex” variable to equal the “gender” variable. So then it stands to reason by this formula that as robots, they have no gender, yet we insist on calling Wall-E a boy, and Eve a girl. Why would we do that if we, hypothetically, intend to uphold the “sex=gender” formula? They have no sex, so why would we call them male or female?

Because “sex=gender” is not true. What parts you were born with do not define whatever gender you may end up being.

There is a desperate need to differentiate between the female-sex, the female-gender, the male-sex, and the male-gender. They are not co-dependent; and they can exist without “matching up”. They don’t even have to exist in a person at all; take me, I’m trans-nonbinary person and I use a ton of xenogenders, but male and female? Those aren’t me. Would identifying as one of those make my life easier? Sure would! But I refuse to live as someone I’m not; I can’t live as someone I’m not.

Your friend should also probably come to terms with the fact that there are 7 billion people on this planet. The odds of all 7 billion+ of us fitting into one of two categories? Statistically, very unrealistic. We are unique individual people, with our own experiences and our own thoughts and beliefs. Why wouldn’t our genders adhere to our individuality? Even our biological sexes don’t adhere to a binary; they live on a spectrum, and anything within that spectrum isn’t entirely male or entirely female! Our sexes are as individual as each of us.

My experiences with my body, and my gender, are going to be different than anyone else who may even use the same label as I do! That’s just how it is. Our sex does not define our gender. Our gender identities cannot be chosen. We are who we are, and that in itself is pretty unique.

#queer stuff #queer support #fae rants #fae rambles #ask #anonymous

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nonbinarywiki · 5 years ago

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If someone identifies as nonbinary do they also identify as trans because of the white stripe in the pride flag? Like can they say they belong to the trans community or do they only belong to the nonbinary community?

Hi!

This depends on the person. While the definition of transgender (person whose gender identity is not the same as their assigned one) includes nonbinary people by default, some nonbinary people prefer not to use the word transgender to describe themselves. So, yes, they can say they belong to the trans community, and they can also say the opposite —personal choice!

Hope this helps :)

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elfboyeros · 5 years ago

Text

Gender Identity and a Sense of Belong

I had a research paper do for English and I just finished it and I thought as well as turning it in to my professor I would post it here for you all to read.

Please boost I would love her this to get around!

Have pairs of anything is always pleasing. Socks, shoes, earrings, bookends, and gender. Well, gender is in fact more than two. Since we like to think the world is black and white, we have come to say there are two genders, male and female. Although there are two sexes male and female and a multiple of genders always known as gender identities. Transgender, nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, and the many of the names for the way people are feeling about their gender that is not in a sociology textbook. Within the paragraphs of this paper the intended purpose is to explain how those who identity outside of the two gender norm by explaining: how society is initially treating those who are gender nonconforming, how and why the internet is a place for gender nonconforming people to feel like they truly belong, and, finally, how society is reacting to gender nonconforming societal changes.

First off, everyone has the freedom to do as they please, religious and speech freedom is stated in the first amendment. Although those in the realm of people that are gender nonconforming and those in the LGBTQ+ community get the short end metaphorical stick for decades. From Stonewall in 1969 to citizen being afraid of letting two consenting, gay, adult have the right to get married in 2015 the world has always been afraid (because that is what a phobia is) of the LGBTQ+ community. For example: The Trump administration repealed the Obama administration’s law to although those who are transgender to serve in the military in 2019 (4) Those who’s that identify not as the sex they were born as would have to get an official diagnosis of gender dysphoria to serve as the gender they identified with (4). This is bigotry at its finest. Gender should not matter when serving and fighting for your country. What should matter is that as you go into the fight alive you come out alive whether you are male, female, transgender, or nonbinary. For more examples: the electronic billboard advertisements in Norway that use gender recognition technologies to pulls ad for a person that is walking by (2). Although when these billboards have someone that comes across that doesn’t follow gender norms, possibly meaning those who are transgender, nonbinary, and ectara, the billboards flash an error code (2). That is all well and if it didn’t mean that the people programing the system with the norms in mind. The billboards flashing an error when someone walks pass just because they are gender nonconforming could be proceed as they are not valid. As another example: In The article/audio film "When the Conversation Doesn't Include You: LGBTQ+ Sex Ed In A Small Town" it remarks on the fight and debate in Allendale, Michigan when teacher Tiffany Harp when she explaining gender identity for the students in her family and relationships. Of course, when the parents found out that LGBTQ+ topics where mention to their children it started pleads from parents to not teach LGBTQ+ topic in sex education, although it is not that was being taught anyway. Allendale’s citizens with their religious background may have good intentions where parents- not schools- could teach their children about sex. Although, the citizen of Allendale are clearly acting this way because of their faith and values as in this quote here: “When you fundamentally discredit the very nature of God's creation of our youth as a male or female, you are seeking to discredit God.” LGBTQ+ issues and topics need to mention in school’s sex education as the only place that queer youth could find out about the topic would be LGBTQ+ centers or on the internet, an internet that can become a safe for said queer youth.

Secondly, the internet is a safe place for more people then the world thinks. The internet, since his creation, has become a place for many to form a community. With the LGBTQ+ that is more than an understatement! The internet has become a source of education (5) for many and aid to understand how a person is feelings about either their sexuality or gender identity or even both, as most defining terms are well now. Although some of those safe places could be taken away. Tumblr, a popular microblogging site, made the decision to ban adult content from there site, that in the past was more then okay with the adult content on the site (5). Even though, a large percent of the userbase was against the changes and the databased used flags post that are not adult content this system use hurts those who are apart of the LGBTQ+ community. Post that just two men kiss without any adult content are being reported and flagged (5). Those who are reporting post just showing pride for their sexual orientation and gender identity seem to be out of a distant for those communities. Although the past has been proven that if those distant a community want said community gone, they will try their hardest to get rid of that community. So, as the internet has become a place for those to be education of LGBTQ+ topic when they can’t go to a center, but system it place to simply get rid of adult content can by proxy and unintentionally effect community that have used to create safe places can be destroyed.

Additionally, even with the bigotry in world and the destruction of safe spaces, society seems like it is taking some right turns. Workplaces are becoming more accepting of gender natural pronouns like them and they, along with have gender natural bathrooms for those who feel uncomfortable use the men’s or women’s restroom (3). Children are being raised to be accept of those who are different (1). Teenagers are seeing that there is more then just boy and girl in the world (6). Which is nice to see as studies are finding that teenagers are identify themselves as nonbinary, genderfluid, ectara (7). The world is finding that as we go on there are more gender the female and man, that yes there are two sexes, but many genders and that is based on how people feel about themselves. Studies are showing that there are more and more people at identify outside of gender norms. It would be then natural for people at workplaces, school, and just out in public to be at least respectful to others. When those who are gender nonconforming feel respected they feeling validated and like they truly belong within our society instead of ostracized because of the way they identify. We still have a long way to go, yes. There is still a large amount of bully to those who are identifying as transgender or gender nonconforming. Are still things that need to be solve when it comes to aiding those who are gender nonconforming, of course. As the world is slowly becoming accepting it is validating many who are gender nonconforming who feel like that are “wrong” or “not normal” as the destroy norms with how they identify. Our world is slowly working up to being accept of those who are LGBTQ+ and that all they could ask for.

To restate, within the paragraphs of this paper the intended purpose is to explain how those who identity outside of the two gender norm by explaining: how society is initially treating those who are gender nonconforming, how and why the internet is a place for gender nonconforming people to feel like they truly belong, and, finally, how society is reacting to gender nonconforming societal changes. Now, our society doesn’t fully accept those who are gender nonconforming. The gender natural pronouns They/Them confuse people because it is “improper English.” Although the English is a big ball of weird. Nevertheless, when change happens any area of society people become scared. Change is something that everyone is scared. Although the underlying message here is that those who are gender non-conforming are alive, here, and proud to be themselves, all they wish is to live a normal life like those who are gender conforming.

Work Cited

1. Gülgöz, Selin, et al. "Gender essentialism in transgender and cisgender children." PLoS ONE, vol. 14, no. 11, 2019, p. e0224321. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A605688449/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=4247aa5c. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

2.Hamidi, Foad, et al. "Gender is personal – not computational." Gale Opposing Viewpoints Online Collection, Gale, 2020. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/OUOMEE024247677/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=4526e1a4 Accessed 30 Mar. 2020. Originally published as "Gender is personal – not computational," The Conversation, 15 May 2018.

3."He, She, They: Workplaces Adjust As Gender Identity Norms Change." Morning Edition, 16 Oct. 2019, p. NA. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A603375022/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=8535c9a5. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

4."How The Trump Administration's Transgender Troop Ban Is Affecting One Military Family." All Things Considered, 11 Apr. 2019. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints,

https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A582648832/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=65320110. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

5.Macapagal, Kathryn. "Tumblr's 'Adult Content' Ban Will Hurt LGBTQ Teens." Gale Opposing Viewpoints Online Collection, Gale, 2020. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/LTHOUD101996867/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=d9052f5d. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020. Originally published as "How Tumblr's 'Adult Content' Ban Could Hurt LGBTQ Teens," Rewire.News, 12 Dec. 2018.

6."More US teens are rejecting 'boy' or 'girl' gender identities, a study finds." CNN Wire, 6 Feb. 2018. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A526511775/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=3849a234 Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

7."Teens And Gender." Weekend Edition Sunday, 11 Feb. 2018. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A529606182/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=7d0e9815. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

8."When The Conversation Doesn't Include You: LGBTQ+ Sex Ed In A Small Town." All Things Considered, 1 Apr. 2019. Gale In Context: Opposing Viewpoints, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A580916753/OVIC?u=kctcshocc&sid=OVIC&xid=e274d7b7. Accessed 30 Mar. 2020.

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theinsanecrayonbox · 5 years ago

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Digging your tabletop pride icons! I like the filter effect they have! :-) Do you by any chance have a textpost of the characters and their sexual orientations/gender identities? I recognise some of your characters, but not all of them, and there are pride flags I've never seen before, so I'd like to learn more. :-)

well thank you. it was just a bit of photoshop work.

i do not have a list of that made up yet...so lets do that now lol

let me preface this though with two points.; 1) i am 1 of 2 females who play regularly in my dnd group of 6 (sometimes 7) people, the other is Dixon. so i am usually the only female in the party itself. i have only ever played 2 (and a half) male characters in the 6/7 years i’ve been playing; every other male character i do in my tabletop group arts are story characters, not player characters. i am also 1 of 2 (sometimes 3) people in the group under 40. romance isn’t really a big part of our storytelling...no matter how hard i try to put it back in there ^^; 2) i identify as quoisexual myself, so all my characters have that to some degree in them just because i’m the player and you bleed into your characters that way. i also use goggle as a helpful tool to learn about all the different identities, so my knowledge and interpretation is fallible.

ok so list now;

Paige-Cupioromantic, meaning does not feel attraction, but desires that type of relationship i went with this, because Paige....well...is Paige lol. as one player once said “it feels wrong trying to date her, because she acts so young and innocent” and to be fair, she isn’t really out here looking at people as romantic partners. she wants friends, she loves her friends. also you know, mortal embodiment of an eldritch horror terror, so...

Cizma-Fraysexual, meaning has strong attraction until a relationship is formed and then the attraction fades she’s the opposite of Paige, and this is mostly based on her “relationship” with InkShade honestly; she believes she’s madly in love with him, but he refuses her, so she pursues him more. i think if he gave into hr advances and reciprocated, she’d realized her feelings weren’t what she thought they were. i admit, this one’s new to me so my interpretation could be very wrong, but that’s how i feel it fits Cizma.

Ada-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction as i said above, my default is this, so if i don’t know a character’s leanings it’s their too (yes jelena is my icon and is this too fyi). BUT in fairness, it suits Ada because of how she was raised; she has very little idea how to properly people here. and she is developing some sort of a relationship with Til. also, her first dice bag was my pride bag with this flag.

Gauzra-Lithoromantic, meaning has desires of attraction, but does not want them reciprocated again, kind of supposed to be in opposite to Ada, and seeing as i still don’t know Gauzra’s personality this could change...but from my interpretation of her right now, this feels right. plus the flag goes with her color scheme.

Rosalba-Demisexual, meaning does not feel attraction until a strong bond is formed at the time i was playing Ro, this was how i identified primarily, but it still suits her i think. if you met Rico after meeting her, you would never know WHY they were a couple, but those two kinda fought against two life times to be together (three if you count the accent into godhood). Ro’s also never been good at getting close to people, but once she did, you’re stuck with her.

K’nessan-Nonbinary, meaning does not identify with a binary gender scale; Marsic, meaning is attracted to masculine qualities ok, ok, *technically* since Ness is a hermaphrodite they should be inter-sexed BUT they do prefer the gender neutral pronouns (followed by the masc; never use “it/that’ or you will die)...and their color scheme matches the flag, so... ^^; i also included in the list the Marsic because Ness does have a preference for male partners

Nemo-Asexual, meaning has no desires for attraction Nemo is nothing but a hero, so that pretty much screamed ace to me...plus it matched her color scheme

Mekala-Aromantic, meaning has no desire for attraction i wasn’t really sure about her, since you know 2 failed campaigns in a row didn’t give her much room to grow, but i could see this working. she’s not really looking for anything, more searching her past.

Jass-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females Jass is my sabretooth, so my sabretooth headcanons are canon for her lol. we only saw her have a relationship with fantasy!Deadpool in the game she was played, but hey

Tesla-Electio Aroace, meaning has no desire for attraction, whether sexual, romantic, or tertiary i admit, this one is completely new to me, so my interpretation could be very wrong, but the idea that this is one that is uninterested in any form of attraction suits my viral android very well. again, she has gone on record saying that “the biological imperative for emotions is distractive” (more or less) which is especially funny since she was played in a valentines game where the goal was to let Cupid infect a town with horniness to make babies; Tesla was the only one unaffected and actively trying to stop that. so yeah.

Theo-Pansexual, meaning is attracted to any gender yeah, Theo’s just out there doing and being anything

Sean-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females; he however has a stronger male preference i admit, one reason why Sean is bi and not just gay is for the “half and half” joke...but yeah, he started the game with a boyfriend, he would kill everyone for his boyfriend, he woudl die for his boyfriend.

Vitanya-Gynosexual, meaning attracted to feminine qualities still learning new things as we do this, but since Vita has had little development (but will be getting more) i’m kinda aiming to have her be a bit more into girls...we’ll see how that pans out

Lokaj-Androsexual, meaning attracted to masculine qualities originally i had him as something else, but when i saw that description i liked it better, since he ended up with Arkos and all

Arkos-Transgender, meaning identifies with a different physical gender than the one assigned at birth; Gay, meaning attracted to men going more off the latest version here than my previous one for this. but yeah, he’s just straight up trans here, not intersexed, and his tribe is cool with it. plus being a tribe means not enough money to get magic to physically change anything...but he’s ok with that. in his tribe it’s less what you have and more how to act.

Rikkar-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females mainly because he did have a fiance...even though they weren’t super into the idea, they weren’t against it either...but he’s far more into Ark

Tarn-Lesbian, meaning attracted to women she has been a loud raging lesbian since day one, and nothing will ever change that. not even one continuity having her in a forced, bested in trial by combat, marriage to Starlord basically. she will only go for a dude if he’s a dragon...and he’s gotta be a hot dragon...and even then it win’t lasting dude.

Reyzah-Abrosexual, meaning one’s attraction is constantly changing or fluid Reyzah started as a knock-off tarn honestly and never got to thrive too much. but compared to her siblings, she was always the one learning and trying to figure herself out, so this fits well.

Margus-gay, meaning attracted to men Margus, similarly to his sister, started off as quiet nervous gay, and by the end of the adventure he had himself a doppleganger husband and confidence to boot, so yeah, my baby boy grew up good. admittedly a lot of his self-confidence issues were more from his half-orc heritage, BUT that fed into the “no one would wanna date me cause i suck” mentality. so yeah.

Nikkos-Asexual, meaning feels no desire for attraction he’s Margus’ twins, and was always intended to be some sort of ace. the joke being the Ironbrood kids are a full set; likes girls, likes guys, figuring things out, likes doughnuts. i waffled over making him a more defined type though...but since i’ve only played him for like one session as a background character, i’m not sure where he’s at. so general ace is fine. he loves and supports his siblings, and is best uncle to Margus’ kids anyways, so s’all good.

Jelena-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction i know i said up in Ada’s that Jelena was this too, but here i am saying it again since she’s my actual icon and not in the reffed to image set. i haven’t played her, so this could change...but i’m very self projecting on her during quarantine to begin with, so yeah she’s quoi until proven otherwise ^^;

so hope you found this informative...and that my information isn’t too terribly off ^^;;;

#kp answers asks #dnd stuff #pathfinderstuff #my ocs #my writing

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midnight-fox-boy · 6 years ago

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Terms I’ve coined (and flags for terms that didn’t have flags in the last part of the post)

Also includes alternative flags

just saying this now, DNI if you wanna be an asshole. Yes I’m Dysphoric, Yes I’m medically transitioning. Not that it’s important. I’m not a fuckin trender. You don’t have to be a trender to believe in microlabels :^) Also, do NOT make prints or use my flags for the use of gaining money/currency.

Agender Masculine- Having a lack of gender/genderless, but feeling masculine spikes, presenting as masculine, or feeling a moderate-strong connection with masculinity. An Agender masculine person may also feel slightly male, so slight that they wouldn't be able to classify it as male/masculine, but also can't quite be classified completely as agender either. (similar to bxy, libramasculine, and agender boy if this doesn't quite fit you, search that term!)

Agender Feminine- Having a lack of gender/genderless, but feeling feminine spikes, presenting as feminine, or feeling a moderate-strong connection with femininity. An Agender feminine person may also feel slightly female, so slight that they wouldn't be able to classify it as female/feminine, but also can't quite be classified completely as agender either. (similar to gxrl, Librafeminine, and agender girl)

Agender androgynous- Having a lack of gender/genderless, but feeling androgynous spikes, presenting as androgynous, or feeling a moderate-strong connection with androgynity. An Agender androgynous person may also feel slightly androgyne, so slight that they wouldn't be able to classify it as amdrogyne/androgynous, but also can't quite be classified completely as agender either.

Mazeplexgender- A gender identity best described as a dense forest or maze which is easy to get lost in, and is hard to navigate through or pinpoint a specific location or gender. It may be unknown to the person if it's even possible to navigate through this forest or maze to find any answers. (The person may or may not be able to locate/navigate other gender identities if they have any others) The maze/forest is an analogy Derived from the two words Maze, and Perplex. Under the xenogender umbrella.

Mxsc Neutrois- Someone who feels Genderless(agender) masculine (But not necessarily male), and neutrois at the same time. any one of these gender feelings may fluctuate. (feeling less masculine but more neutrois and genderless, more genderless than anything else) but always feels at least one of these identities predominately. Flag based off the bxy and gxrl flags

Vixengender- A non-binary feminine identity that is influenced by your fox kintype in some way, and/or describes the gender of your kin(For Foxkin/therians only!) (NOTE: This is not the same as saying kin is a gender) Under the Kingender and nonbinary umbrellas

Twinkby- A nonbinary person who is masculine/male-aligned/partially male/etc is attracted to men (NBLM)(exclusively, or not, or primarily) and considers them self relative to a Twink, and may likely present themself as similar to a traditional male twink, but may not. A nonbinary Male Twink

Gender Undefined- A gender identity that is yet to be defined or may never be defined; When you don't know what your gender identity is, or what gendered feeling it has, if any, thus being an undefined gender.

Demigirlboy/boygirl-

Demigender- Being partially one gender, partially another, the other part may or may not be known. Demiboygirl- Being partially a boy, and partially a girl.

Dysphosexual- An orientation that fluctuates in intensity based on how strong or intense ones dysphoria is at the moment or at the time. (usually in terms of when your dysphoria increases, your sexual attraction decreases, Not to be confused with sexual desire) A subset of Aceflux, an aspec orientation.

--TERMS THAT EXISTED BUT DID NOT HAVE FLAGS--

Intersex X0: Someone who is intersex X0 was born with only one X chromosome.

Dominant or protective attraction- Dominant/Protective attraction can be described as an orientation in which one has a strong desire to take care/protect a certain person(the one they’re attracted to, usually a submissive attraction person) This MAY or may not include a strong desire to feel needed, and MAY or may not feel a need to be dominant in a relationship with the person, if they have one.Can be accompanied with any orientation such as bi-, poly-, pan-, omni-, hetero-, etc… While not inherently sexual/romantic/sensual/etc, the person experiencing dominant attraction MAY or may not desire any form of relationship(romantic/sexual/QP/etc) with the other person(s) (usually a submissive attracted person)

Submissive attraction- Submissive attraction is a form of attraction in which one feels the desire to be taken care and protected of by a certain person(usually a dominant or someone that feels dominant attraction). This may include a strong desire to feel needed by the person as well, and may also include a desire to please the person emotionally. (May also include a desire to be the submissive/not be dominant in the relationship if one is formed) No tot be confused with the kink community, but of course, being in a kink community does not mean you can’t be LGBTQ+

Can be accompanied with any orientation such as bi-, poly-, pan-, omni-, hetero-, etc… While not inherently sexual/romantic/sensual/etc, the person experiencing sumbissive attraction MAY or may not desire any form of relationship(romantic/sexual/QP/etc) with the other person(usually dominant)

--ALTERNATIVE FLAGS--

Transsexual- An outdated term/reclaimed created by the medical and psychology communities. It describes one that has permanently changed their body or one that plans to undergo these changes. This includes not is not limited to: Surgeries and hormone replacement therapy. This term is only used by some transgender people. (Note: Transsexual people are not surperior to transgender people, and many transgender people while could be considered transsexual prefer the term transgender, and vice versa)

Transsexual female

Transsexual male

Transsexual androgynous- Someone who physically transitions to an androgynous sex or in-between the male and female sexes. They may have mixed primary and secondary genitals or just have hormones and some surgeries to help make them look androgynous. They may or may not be nonbinary or identify as androgynous.

Polygenderflux- Experiencing multiple gender identities, but they also vary/switch in intensity. (Aka, feeling Strongly masculine, then it can fluctuate to feeling masculine, but it's hardly there) Essentially a mix of Polygender and genderflux Polygender is under the following umbrellas: Nonbinary, Transgender, Genderqueer, Multigender/Polygender umbrellas

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josha-aesthetics · 6 years ago

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Introduction

Hello out there! My name’s Josha, I’m 20 y/o, from Germany and I prefer to go by they/them online since I prefer not to be judged by my actual gender identity, romantic/sexual orientation or anything else about me I’m born with but which I can’t change. I love making aesthetics - no matter if moodboards or lock screens (won‘t do icons and desktop wallpapers tho) - which is why I made this blog after I left @lgbt-aesthetics because the other mod and me decided to archive it. Since this is now my own blog and I don’t have to accept other peoples rules anymore, I’m able to give you a short list of things I will/won’t do. I make aesthetics for LGBT orientations/genders. LGBT means lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Transgender also includes nonbinary, so yes I will do aesthetics for nonbinary. - However I won’t do aesthetics for pansexuality, genderfluidity and identities that are only accepted in the MOGAI community. However I will do aesthetics for aromantics and asexuals. I will also do aesthetics for polyamory. I have no problem to make aesthetics which include (soft) gore, (body) horror etc but I will tag them with “tw: blood”, “tw: gore” etc. I can make kink related aesthetics but I won’t go over the top with it and let them become nsfw. I of course will tag this kind of aesthetics as well. Overall I see it as absolutely obvious that I’m able to deny doing any kind of aesthetic without an explanation whatsoever. Of course I will most likely explain why I refuse to do a certain kind of aesthetic. I don’t want any kind of discourse on this blog. No matter if tucute or transmed, you can get an aesthetic from me as long as you don’t want me to include ‘controversial’ things or generally anything that could start discourse on this blog. I won’t use the word “queer” in any of my aesthetics. I will of course also do aesthetics for topics that aren’t linked to LGBT etc. at all, for example I will do name associations, song associations and other things like that. I will also make pride flag edits. I know close to nothing about any fandom at all but I’m always happy to make aesthetics for certain shows etc. anyways. I don’t have a dni since I consider this kind of thing stupid but I’m of course against TERFs, (NO)MAPs etc. Okay, this was quite a lot of text, thanks you for reading, have a nice day and may consider requesting something! love & yours Josha

#introduction #mod josha

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your-dietician · 4 years ago

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Megan Fox celebrates 'putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades'

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/entertainment/megan-fox-celebrates-putting-the-b-in-lgbtqia-for-over-two-decades/

Megan Fox celebrates 'putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades'

Happy Pride Month, she’s, gays and they’s.

It’s the queerest time of the year – yes, the whole month of June – when the LGBTQ community comes together to celebrate being out and proud. Pride started as a protest outside the Stonewall Inn in 1969 in New York, and the community wouldn’t be as outspoken as it is today without the work of Black and Latinx transgender women.

The coronavirus pandemic thwarted traditional Pride parades and other debauchery last year. With the country reopening again, members of the LGBTQ community can more readily gather safely this time around.

But how are LGBTQ celebrities partaking in Pride Month this year, and what does it mean to them? We asked some – and are monitoring many others’ social media accounts throughout June – to tell us their thoughts.

Interesting: Is coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community over? No, but it could be someday.

Megan Fox has been ‘putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades’

Actress Megan Fox celebrated Pride Month with a series of selfies that included a rainbow French manicure.

“Putting the B in #LGBTQIA for over two decades,” Fox, 35, captioned the photos June 26 on Instagram with two rainbow emojis and a Pride hashtag.

She also promoted two charities in the caption: Move On, an organization that refers to itself as “a force for social justice and political progress,” and Into Action, “a movement of designers, illustrators, animators and artists building cultural momentum around civic engagement and the issues affecting our country and world.”

More: Machine Gun Kelly, Megan Fox pack on the PDA at Billboard Music Awards: Their relationship timeline

Former ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ star Laganja Estranja comes out as trans

Drag queen and choreographer Laganja Estranja, who appeared in the 2014 season of reality competition show “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” announced she is “so proud to identify as trans” in an Instagram post for Pride Month.

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“I feel so empowered that I don’t have to hide in the shadows as I make this journey,” she wrote in a June 15 post, thanking “all the trans brothers and sisters that came before me who fought so that my coming out could be joyous!”

Estranja’s given name off-stage is Jay Jackson, which she told Entertainment Weekly she still plans to go by with those close to her.

“I am so proud to identify as TRANS and to be living my truth. Happy PRIDE, you are beautiful as you are.”

Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff march in Pride parade

Vice President Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff wore Pride T-shirts and joined marchers for the Capital Pride Parade on June 12 in Washington, DC.

Harris’ shirt read “Love is love” and Emhoff’s showed a series of text reading “Love first” in a variety of colors.

The vice president stopped and talked to the crowd, according to pool reports.

“We still have so much to do. We celebrate all the accomplishments,” she said. “Finally marriage is the law of the land. We need to make sure that our transgender community are all protected.”

Harris shared a similar message on Instagram the next day where she also recalled the honor of officiating the wedding of Kris Perry and Sandy Steir, whose court case paved the way for marriage equality in California. She noted a need to expand protections for the LGBTQ community in housing, employment and education.

“I want you to know we see you, we hear you and the president and I will not rest until everyone has equal protection under the law,” she said.

Vice President Kamala Harris and husband Doug Emhoff join marchers for the Capital Pride Parade on June 12, 2021 in Washington, DC.

JoJo Siwa celebrates first Pride, 5-month anniversary with girlfriend

JoJo Siwa is celebrating her “first Pride” this month, which also coincides with her and her girlfriend’s five-month anniversary.

“Happy pride month!” Siwa, 18, captioned a June 4 Instagram post with a rainbow emoji. “It’s time to celebrate being who you are and LOVING who YOU wanna LOVE!!❤️”

In the post, Siwa and girlfriend Kylie Prew are shown beaming and embracing while wearing rainbow getups in front of a huge “PRIDE” display. The internet star, who started out on “Dance Moms” in the mid-2010s, came out in January as a member of the LGBTQ community, later sharing she identified as queer and pansexual. For the couple’s one-month anniversary in February, she divulged in a sweet post that she was “the happiest I have ever been.”

“It really has been the best 5 months of my life truly being exactly who I am and finding love has been the best part of it all,” Siwa added in her new post. “I love this human so much. I’m so happy❤️”

‘You’re a shining example’: Elton John praises JoJo Siwa at ‘Can’t Cancel Pride’ event

Miley Cyrus seeks to put a stop to homophobia

Miley Cyrus’s message for Pride was blunt: “STOP homophobia whenever and wherever you see it,” the singer wrote on Instagram alongside photos of herself next to a stop sign. She tagged her Happy Hippie Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to providing resources to LGBTQ youth, homeless citizens and other vulnerable communities.

The former Disney star spoke about being pansexual and gender-fluid in Variety’s 2016 Power of Women L.A. issue and said she discovered her identity through through the LGBTQ center in L.A.

“I saw one human in particular who didn’t identify as male or female,” she said. “Looking at them, they were both: beautiful and sexy and tough but vulnerable and feminine but masculine. And I related to that person more than I related to anyone in my life. Even though I may seem very different, people may not see me as neutral as I feel. But I feel very neutral.”

Alexandra Shipp says it’s ‘never too late to be you’

“X-Men: Apocalypse” star Alexandra Shipp took to Instagram on June 3 to share “regrets” for not coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community earlier and to encourage fans to be themselves.

“I didn’t come out until I was 28. Though I don’t believe in regrets, this would definitely be #1 for myself. I denied denied denied,” Shipp wrote. “I struggled with not only my sexuality, but my femininity. I was scared it was too late. I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to get work. I was scared no one would ever love me. Scared. Scared. Scared.”

The 29-year-old added that she is now “happy in ways I don’t think my kid self could imagine.”

“It’s never too late to be you. If I don’t work because of a flawed, racist and homophobic system, then it was never the right thing for me … I’m not scared anymore. I have #pride in who I am and what I’m doing on this planet.”

Janelle Monáe encourages LGBTQ community to ‘shine hard’

Janelle Monáe came out as pansexual during a 2018 Rolling Stone interview and in 2021 she is using social media to spread love.

Pansexuality is attraction to all gender identities, or attracted to people regardless of gender, according to GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis.

Saturday the “Tightrope” singer reposted words from a tweet by LGBTQ writer and activist Alexander Leon.

“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise (sic) humiliation & prejudice,” Leon wrote. “The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us.”

She finished the post with a series of emojis including rainbows and spaceships calling herself a “kid for life.”

“For those of us who spent time in the dark and had to build worlds to protect ourselves Shine HARD. I love us,” she wrote.

More: Janelle Monáe comes out as pansexual (and it’s not the same as bisexual)

Former ‘America’s Next Top Model’ contestant Lio Tipton comes out as queer, nonbinary

Lio Tipton who starred in Cycle 11 of “America’s Next Top Model” and played the role of babysitter Jessica in the movie “Crazy, Stupid, Love” reintroduced themself on Instagram Wednesday.

“Hi. My name is Lio. My pronouns are they/them. I am proud to announce I am queer and I identify as non binary,” they wrote.

Tipton’s caption was linked to an illustration featuring a unique robot among other droids depicted to match one of two categories a call to the binary nature of gender.

They finished the post with a rainbow flag and a heart writing: “I hope to give as much love and support back to those who continue to show love and support for the Pride community at large.”

‘High School Musical’ spinoff actor Larry Saperstein comes out as bisexual

Actor Larry Saperstein, who plays Big Red on Disney+ show “High School Musical: The Musical: The Series,” announced he is bisexual Tuesday on social media.

Saperstein, 23, shared in a TikTok video that he “plays a character with a girlfriend on TV,” but “is bi (in real life).” In the current season, his character, a theater tech crew member-turned-performer, is dating fellow theater cast member Ashlyn (Julia Lester).

“is it really that unexpected tho #pride,” Saperstein added of his announcement in the video caption.

Laverne Cox celebrates intersectional Pride

Laverne Cox, who has made waves in Hollywood as a trans woman, posted on Instagram to celebrate Pride with the theory of intersectionality.

The “Orange is the New Black” star listed names of Black feminists who contributed to the theory of intersectionality which is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination combine, overlap, or intersect.”

“My pride is intersectional. I bring all of me into pride month. I believe true liberation must be intersectional,” Cox wrote.

Under a photo of Cox dressed in a golden leotard, she named 11 key figures of intersectionality and called on her fans to name the rest.

“There are so many names. Who have I left out? List them below. Happy Pride Month,” she wrote.

Tan France wants to ‘champion diversity’ for LGBTQ community

“Queer Eye” style expert Tan France who is expecting his first child with husband Rob, opened Pride Month with an Instagram post of him fashionably wrapped in a rainbow flag with a star-like flower adorned on his head.

In the caption France made it a point to approach Pride Month with love and support.

“Let’s celebrate and champion the diversity of our community,” France wrote. “Let’s show compassion to those who don’t feel that they can come out yet, and offer them love and support as they work through it, knowing there is a supportive community, waiting to welcome them with open arms and hearts.”

Busy Philipps praises her child Birdie for Pride Month

The “Girls5Eva” actress posted a selfie of her and 12-year-old child Birdie, who came out as gay last year and uses them/they pronouns, to celebrate Pride Month.

“Today is the start of PRIDE MONTH! I have so much pride for this kid and everything they are and do,” Philipps wrote.

She shares Birdie with her husband, screenwriter Marc Silverstein, and took to Instagram to brag on Birdie’s ability to give back.

“Birdie decided to start gathering the unopened makeup and hygiene items from me and other influencer types(actors, singers, makeup and hair artists) to donate to the @lalgbtcenter for the queer and trans youth that the Center provides a safe space for,” Philipps wrote. “Well. Thanks to many of my friends, Birdie was able to donate HUNDREDS of items to the center.”

Pride Month: Busy Philipps reveals her 12-year-old child Birdie is gay, ‘prefers they/them’ pronouns

In December 2020, Philipps revealed on an episode her podcast “Busy Philipps Is Doing Her Best,” that Birdie was gay and used nonbinary pronouns.

“I want Birdie to be in control of their own narrative and not have to answer to anybody outside of our friends and family if they don’t want to,” Philipps said.

Taylor Swift urges senators to pass the equality act

The “You Need To Calm Down” singer is “proudly” teaming up with GLAAD for its “Summer of Equality” campaign to help get the Equality Act passed.

“Who you love and how you identify shouldn’t put you in danger, leave you vulnerable or hold you back in life,” Swift wrote in a statement posted to Twitter Tuesday. “I proudly join GLAAD in their #summerofequality and add my voice to those who support The Equality Act. Happy Pride Month!”

The Equality Act would amend existing civil rights law to explicitly include sexual orientation and gender identification as protected characteristics. Those protections would extend to employment, housing, loan applications, education and other areas.

Swift took a moment to thank her fellow “courageous activists, advocates and allies for their dedication to fighting against discrimination and hatred.”

She continued: “As always, today I am sending my respect and love to those bravely living out their truth, even when the world we live in still makes that so hard to do.”

It’s ‘so upsetting’: Taylor Swift calls out 2020 census for ‘brutal’ transgender erasure

GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis thanked Swift for her advocacy and said the goal of their “Summer of Equality” campaign is to “get every senator to vote yes.”

The bill passed the U.S. House 224-206 in February, with all Democrats but just three Republicans supporting it. Its fate in the closely divided Senate is uncertain. The House also passed the bill in the last Congress, but it didn’t advance to the Senate.

Niecy Nash: ‘Love should be at the forefront’

Niecy Nash and wife Jessica Betts got married in August – when virtually no one even knew Nash was queer.

“I am proud of who I am,” she says. “I am proud of my relationship. I’m proud of our marriage. I am just proud to be a Black woman who (lives) life on her own terms and does it out loud.”

How’s she digging the newlywed life? “It’s treating me great,” she says. “I’m married to one of the most beautiful souls.” A typical weekend for the pair involves good food, swimming and relaxing in the hot tub, she says.

Surprise! Niecy Nash reveals wedding to singer Jessica Betts and shares photo with fans

Niecy Nash hosts this year’s GLAAD Media Awards.

Nash didn’t know what to expect once she revealed her truth to the world, “but my close friends and family were extremely supportive and so that was the most important part for me,” she says.

She’s been vocal about how she didn’t come out – she “never hid anything” – but rather came into herself.

“I feel like you only really need courage in the face of fear,” she says. “And I don’t know if I was afraid in as much as I was just cautious, because I did not know how we were going to be received in the world.”

Plans for her first Pride Month aren’t set in stone yet, but she encourages people to lead with love.

“The world needs so much love right now because we’ve come through a really tough year and there’s so many things happening in the world that bring stress and chaos,” she says. “Love should be at the forefront of any conversation that anybody is having.”

In case you missed: Niecy Nash says marrying Jessica Betts wasn’t a ‘coming out,’ but a ‘going into myself’

Candis Cayne reflects on first Pride, need to band together for trans community

Actress Candis Cayne acknowledged that Pride has changed over the years – especially since she came out (Cayne came out twice, but as transgender in 1995).

“When I first came out, Pride Month was about fighting for our rights. It was about marching, it was about telling the world that we were OK with who we were, and we were valued people in the community. And luckily, more and more, it’s been accepted,” she says. That said, there’s still a ways to go.

Her first Pride was in New York City, where she saw a sea of people on Fifth Avenue.

“I remember just vividly thinking, ‘There’s more of us out there than I thought,’ ” she says. She’s done New York Pride for about 20 years, including performing on floats, and she recalled dressing as Wonder Woman and jumping off a truck and pretending to push it forward and backward – a magical, quintessential Pride moment.

‘I get goosebumps’: Laverne Cox on Netflix transgender history doc, landmark Supreme Court decision

She doesn’t have plans just yet for Pride – she is vaccinated and encourages others to do the same – but “might just have a get together and celebrate Pride in a more intimate way this year.”

She encourages the LGBTQ community to come together and support the transgender community amid ongoing legal battles and violence.

“Seeing how our community’s being affected right now, with all the legislation, how trans women of color are being murdered at an alarming rate, I think that’s something that we really need to focus on as a community and band together,” she says.

‘From Disclosure’ to ‘Pose’: What movies, shows to watch on Trans Day of Visibility

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ actor Jake Borelli talks growing in his queerness

“Grey’s Anatomy” star Jake Borelli viewed Pride Month as a celebration when he was younger. But after publicly coming out in 2018 and spending more time in queer spaces with a variety of queer people, he had time to reflect on what Pride is really about.

“As I’ve grown in my queerness, and my relationship to my own queerness, I know wholeheartedly that it’s a riot, and it is a protest,” the actor, who plays Dr. Levi Schmitt, says. “At this point in my queerness, I feel like I can’t allow myself to stand anymore for the negative way society has made me feel about my queerness and Pride and Pride Month, and Pride gatherings.”

The absence of physical queer spaces during the pandemic forced him to think even deeper.

Did you see? How Lil Nas X, JoJo Siwa and Zaya Wade are teaching kids to be more inclusive

“That caused me to start thinking a lot more introspectively about what it means to be queer and what growing up as a gay person surrounded by straight people really actually did to my psyche in the long term, and I’ve found myself having to re-parent myself right now as as a queer man, re-parenting my younger queer self,” he says.

He’s been to a host of different Pride celebrations in his life, from Los Angeles and New York to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio.

“It was such an incredible experience to go back to my hometown where I was fully closeted, and didn’t feel like I could be my full self and to see that there was an entire group of people who were pushing forward in Columbus for the queer community and had been forever,” he says.

His advice for queer people going on similar journeys as himself?

“Be patient with yourself and everyone who’s around you,” he says with a laugh. “I have to remind myself that every day.”

Leyna Bloom talks Pride Month, how she celebrates ‘every single day’

“Port Authority” star Leyna Bloom recently opened up to USA TODAY in a Q&A about how she celebrates Pride Month daily.

Leyna Bloom stars as Wye in the drama “Port Authority.”

“Pride is not just this time when we can explore things that are in us that we’re raised to suppress and now we’re taught to express it in the sun and in the streets and the world just for one month,” Bloom says. “It’s something that I have to do every single day of my life. I have to wake up and be proud that I’m alive and (ask) ‘Why am I here? And what am I doing here, and am I going to be able to help people?’

“Through all the most traumatic experiences in my life and in the world, seeds are being planted everywhere I go. And this summer 2021, everything is blooming at the same time: Sports Illustrated, movies, TV shows. It is really a moment to be Black, be queer, be trans, be Asian, so I’m just honestly going to celebrate every single day that I’m allowed to be alive to have those moments. So I’m really excited to see what else I can do and how we can elevate our community to unite.”

Contributing: Anika Reed and Cydney Henderson, USA TODAY; The Associated Press

For more on that interview: ‘Port Authority’ star Leyna Bloom on trans love story, how she celebrates Pride Month daily

‘We’re not there yet’: LGBTQ representation dips on broadcast TV, GLAAD study reveals

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Pride 2021: Megan Fox, JoJo Siwa, more stars celebrate month

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