#yes they’re terrifying
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As an Australian, Morrowind truely feels like home to me.
Half desert, half swamp, gigantic bugs, weird animals, the air of uncertainty and threat of looming death by the elements.
And if you’re doubting me, I raise you an echidna, a platypus, and fire tornados.
Yes you heard me, fire tornados. They’re real. One’s been spotted early this year in the Northern Territory as the bushfire season kicks off with the extreme drought and heat.
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I’m doomed to write domestic Elucien and I’m just gonna apologize in advance, I think?? 😣
Domesticity is hardly popular as far as fanfic tropes…at least, in any of the fandoms I’ve frequented in the past (and loved in spite of that). But damnit….my favorite tormented, traumatized males becoming husbands and fathers is my kryptonite. A hill I will die on. A want I’m doomed to write again and again.
I need them loved back to life by wives who take none of their bullshit but also would kill a bitch who even breathes a hint of an insult in their direction. And then the little beings who take no note of Daddy’s physical scars or suffocating guilt, just overwhelming acceptance of who he is in their innocent eyes; who allow him to dote the fuck on them so that they are fully aware that they have him in a loving, irreversible choke hold.
I need to finish the books… But I don’t think I can wait that long to start said fic. 😫
#elucien#lucien vanserra#lucien#elaine#daddy lucien#daddy!lucien#it owns my heart#I have the whole backstory for them#but they gotta have kids. lots of them#and omg are they the most precious high royalty family in existence#I need it#yes lots of smut and love but also lots of just domestic moments that will make me sob#bc they’re both so happy#and never thought they’d experience such happiness#and lucien is terrified of losing it all#and struggles with his unworthiness after so much strife
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spiders are fucking foul and i hate them and i don’t care about the stupid poem they’re dead on sight if they enter my fucking house
#tHe cRiMe oF bEiNg sEeN wOuLd CoSt mE mY LiFe#yes tf it do#eight legged little bitch#crawling up my fuckkng yoga mat#scaring me shitless#“they’re more scared of you” then we’re both terrified and fighting for our lives#fuck that fucking noise#instant death sentence to anything i see in my home w more than four limbs
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Y’all I am so endlessly happy. I got my commission of Art the Clown x my Self Insert and eEEEEEE ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!
I’ll add it below the read-more!!!
Warning for some blood and violence!!!!
EEEE IM SO HAPPY!!!! ART LOOKS SO HOTTT!! AND I ADORE HOW THEY DREW MY SI!! THEYRE PERFECT!!!! AND THE BLOOD AND THE ANGLES AND THE POSE AND THE UGHHHHH!!!!! I want to print this art and tattoo it on my SOULLLL OH MY GOD
#artist is Kraujas!!! I asked if I could post and they said yes :3#my fave artist EVERRRRRRR#I’ve commissioned so many pieces from them#and they’re all gorgeous!!!!!!#highly recommend#selfship tag#art the clown taggie#Terrifier#I’m so HAPPYYYYY#I’ve been giggling for literal days#ask to tag#suggestive warning#gore tw#(it’s just a bit of blood but just in case!)#blood tw
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My stress dreams almost always involve zombies but last night was a new and horrifying twist. Awake, I see connections to the Reavers from Firefly, but in-dream it was a dreadful and brand new reveal.
#my life#you think you’re running just from a bad man but instead there’s Existential Horror#zombies only make me that afraid in dreams because the rational thought is gone#like yes they’re scary because they’re gross and no one wants to be eaten alive but.#not to sound like a tumblr post but. a bear could eat me alive too#zombies aren’t special that way.#as a kid I was terrified to the point of not being able to function about zombies and I conquered it by coming to grips with the fact that#ultimately disfigured humanity - while revolting - should evoke pity#and I genuinely don’t believe zombies like the movies are compatible with God’s universe and therefore are not a real threat#the particular mystical horror of the zombie can be conquered by separating the merely physical from thee metaphysical#and embracing the idea that physical suffering is ultimately as nothing for the Christian for whom eternal glory awaits#yes I take this too seriously you shouldn’t be surprised do you even know me at all??#this is the taking things seriously blog!!#my dream journal
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I am creating new types of aetheric research the scholars of Sharlyan can barely comprehend (Divorce Aether)
#ffxiv#you see that’s why the Ascians are like that#they got divorced so hard they’re trying to end the world to make it whole again#and that aether gets recycled#it’s just one long divorce arc#although idk if any ascian was ever married#that concept terrifies me#the insanity of the idea of Lahabrea tying the knot#he’d need someone who would match his Freak and it would be Devastating#would the sex even be good I feel like it wouldn’t be#this is my fail husband who is bad at sex#yes he is incredibly powerful but died by being eaten by a sword#or like. nabriales getting married#I sure am. saying things#idk what I’m cooking or if it’s even edible#hydaelyn’s silliest jesters#the benadryl prophecies#zodiark’s clubhouse
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Idea: The Matrix, being a parasite that uses the Primes as it’s hosts, slowly turns the Primes into eldritch horror-ific beings, and the forms they hold in front of people to make them appear normal are actually just a ‘cloaked’ form for their ‘true’ form (Maccadam from CV for example). This happens to all the Primes, it just usually takes a long time even by their standards to build up enough, and usually the newer/younger ones are like baby horrors.
Another idea: Rodimus, having been born in the primacy essentially as Optimus’s son, has grown up with them, and seen them in their true forms from a young age. It is now impossible to freak him out with them, because before Hot Rod could walk, he looked Nova dead in the face in it’s true form as it cradled him in it’s arms, and cooed up at it. Optimus now says that to Rodimus, they’re not horrors, they’re eldritch wonders. He genuinely looks at them and believes some to be quite pretty. Or he calmly/casually asks if Op thinks Quintus’s Subnautica octopus ass could fit in a flower vase, because octopuses don’t have bones, and this is long dead ghost, so it’s gotta be possible, right? (Op just wants one normal conversation about the Primes with his son. one. that’s all he asks (while snorting laughs but that’s beside the point-).)
In short: The Primes are eldritch horrors in their true forms + Rodimus isn’t bothered in the slightest about this fact.
#ut’s og trash post#ut talks#transformers#rodimus#optimus prime#primes#the primes#nova prime#the matrix of leadership#eldritch horrors#the primes are eldritch horrors#rodimus looks at Quintus and goes ‘ooh octopus!’#he cannot understand what the goddamn hell they are#but he doesn’t particularly care#they are terrifying ungodly entities that always have and will out date Cybertron’s populace to most#to Rodimus’s they’re just funky little pretty butterflies of their own kind#and yes#rodimus is in fact aware that as time passes he is very very slowly turning into such a creature himself#Optimus told him way back and showed his own true form#that only got him questions like ‘so will I turn into a phoenix monster?’ and ‘is that why your creation name is Orion?’#Rodimus is entirely unphased and finds it actually a little intriguing#Optimus is exasperated and laughs in pain every time it happens ‘but at least Rodimus isn’t traumatized by it?’#anyway enjoy
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Roudise Week Day 2: Adventure/Kiss
I got lazy and didn’t add a background, but just imagine they’re going on a cute lil’ hike while on a super fun camping trip and stopping because they got a bit distracted 🫣. I aged ‘em up a lil’ bit here, because I thought that would be fun. I also drew ‘em blushing, but you can’t see it that well 😅
#roudiseweek2023#this is definitely one of my favorite pieces i had for this week because i love drawing them muppets kissing 🤭#and older louise with a cute lil’ beanie with a lil’ kuchi kopi on it?? yes#i like to think when they’re older louise will like to take rudy out on random adventures because his mom was pretty overprotective#and they’ll definitely have a ton of fun the whole time even though rudy is a bit terrified of some bugs and just the vastness of nature
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this is my season 3 Chaos Card, or stuff that I wish would happen and don’t think will and stuff I desperately wish won’t happen and am nervous will happen! I thought it would be slightly more interesting than what I actually think will happen, but I am incredibly scared more of the sad ones will happen than my happy ones. time will tell!
template from @stars-n-spice
#me#star wars#the bad batch#the bad batch season 3 predictions#I think Emerie being a clone of Arla would be more interesting but I don’t think they would do it#also we’ve had first zillo beast yes but what about second? or 3rd or 4th or or or#I don’t necessarily want Ashoka or Vader cameos but we’ll see what happens#they’re more neutral I guess#also I think the ventress clips are flashbacks from either Boba or Quinlan and she’s not actually alive during the events of the show#also the riot racer star tech comes back means the fact he was a star riot racer gets mentioned at all lol#can you tell I’m desperate for a mention of Padmé#and that I’m terrified any of the batch will die#I didn’t put wrecker dying on the card cause I think he’s the least likely death and I simply couldn’t bring myself to put him down lol
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okay so labour won big why am I actually fucking terrified seeing the reform numbers
#well!! we’re going even further right i fucking guess#these are two leave voting labour seats but still that’s kinda terrifying#the tories yes were right but they weren’t all super far right and they had to at least kinda pretend to care about things#if they DO get these 13 seats that’s gonna change so much and probably push the tories even further right anyway because that’s WHY they los#they’re saying it rn! not conservative enough!#with any kind of luck the party implodes within 4 years but I don’t think that’s likely#I kinda didn’t think about how bad this would be#but yeah we have a far right doing really fucking well now and they’re gonna be in second place in a Lot of places#I’m gonna sleep soon I don’t think I can stomach staying up much later tonight#hopefully there’ll be some good news abt the greens or lib dems doing a bit better#praying we get 4 green seats#also man genuinely fuck the House of Lords but it is nice to see someone who’s not insane and just campaigning as the labour guy on bbc#praying he’s right abt reform being mostly protest votes#the reform deputy leader is. one of the most annoying people I have heard though#labour better do what they fucking promised here bc if they don’t we’re all screwed#anyway! maybe this is a sign to move to bristol. or just. move. but we are also late to the far right party party so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#luke.txt#I’m not gonna sleep properly tonight but so be it
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Why is it whenever I think of an Older Kakyoin, I keep mixing him with Alastor from Hazbin Hotel?
#JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure#Part 3#Noriaki Kakyoin#Alastor#Hazbin Hotel#Yes I know it’s because they’re both red heads and a future Kak would probably have a cane#Picture it: Sharp smiled Kak married to Jotaro ruling the Joestar Family from the shadows#A Shadow Queen if you will#In Chess Terms obviously#All investors would be terrified of him#And then he has Jotaro standing behind him like an attack dog on a leash#I mean Jotaro would have a collar but that’s besides the point#Why do you think he’d start wearing turtlenecks? ;)#…..I need to stop#Jotakak#For the tags
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I admit. Upon seeing Deep One of the Abyss, my first thought was "Wow if this guy(gender neutral) comes to be fond of Dawn and Odessa Volo, Giratina, and potentially Arceus are SCREWED."
Volo was just generally discussing legends but also wanting to scare the girls into not investigating this legend not just because “oh dear you could get eaten” but ALSO because the nature of legends can be skewed and if this legend turned out nice it would be very bad for his plans-
And wouldn’t you know it! They’re more concerned about two tiny children being lost in their realm than the fact they haven’t eaten in a millennia-
#doodles#happy screms#mers in hisui#snickering because yeah. yeah the deep one of the abyss does get fond of these lil guys#unfortunately they’re very weak at the start - they’ve got open wounds and deteriorating limbs that the girls want to help#yes they wouldn’t hesitate to hunt anything that harms the girls but they have been spending thousands of years sleeping at the bottom-#-of the ocean because oof ouch that they really just have intimidation on their size. which is fair. they’re huge#they *can* still cause damage due to size alone#having to doodle the girls bigger JUST so you can see their expressions like-#trust when they get their strength back othe leviathans are rightfully TERRIFIED#realising i’m giving the girls non stop giants that care them (decidueye. samurautt. markoth. deep one of the abyss-)#the girls have the power of big guys having protective instincts kick in ig-#yea volo knows the girls are mers that were once humans it’s what really kickstarts his plan perusing#*persuing#still trying to figure him out but something something feels entitled to being a mer due to heritage or something#guy(gender neutral) is so fun to me. yeah they’re really just a skrungly guy (gender neutral)#fun fact! they have legs! they can walk on land if they had the strength to go back to the top of the ocean :)
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another part of it is that Claire’s identity, their independence, them being a separate entity from Lucifer and not just a vessel for her to walk and talk with, that’s all so important. She is not going to give Lucifer free rein to wear her until there’s none of her left. They’re not going to become their dad. She doesn’t want people to look at her smile one day, listen to her voice, and go ‘that’s Lucifer!’ before they ever remember there was someone else inside, if they do at all.
And so Lucifer is in the position of wrestling with Claire for control of their body, to negotiating with them, to figuring out how to co-exist. Which is! That’s new for Lucifer! Even with Sam, whether she wanted to or not, she had to be fully in charge, they could not move with one will because Sam and her’s goals were fundamentally different. But Claire learns how to work with her.
(And another reason Claire might say yes at all is because Lucifer isn’t playing to some greater plan. She’s making it up as she goes, lashing out as she’s hurt. She’s not some holy soldier descending from above with orders to be carried out. She’s the devil, and she’s understands what it’s like to be abandoned.)
#does this make sense?#they’re a very weird duo#and I think the saying yes part IS fraught for Claire. they do it but it’s difficult. it’s terrifying.#she does it and holds onto her sole purpose of keeping Lucifer from making Claire’s face her own.#and lucifer doesn’t really want that either. so it’ll work out. eventually.#I think when Lucifer appears to Claire (a la midam projection) she does it as nick first#she’s become comfortable being seen as nick. but Claire gives her a different viewpoint. that nick was a person first.#and the thing is that you know Nick would be okay with it. with Lucifer’s face being his own. but Claire isn’t.#and so what I’m saying is true form!lucifer projection.#Claire sits in a diner picking at cheap food. and no one can see it but surrounding them is a mass of wings and teeth and broken halos#all so bright they’d blind anyone else. but *this* is Lucifer. there is no mask. no stolen identity.#and she’s terrifying but Claire’s getting used to looking at her. slowly.#(she was Not okay the first time. she freaked the fuck out. but they’re getting better about it.)#claire novak#lucifer spn#spn#claire possession au
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So, there is this scene I have been dreading writing.
It’s for the reverse big bang fic, see, and this is the scene based on the art that inspired the whole thing. The problem is that my partner just crushed it with the artwork—it’s beautiful and intense, and I knew I had to match that with the writing, but I genuinely was not sure I’d be able to.
Obviously I knew the basic elements the scene would contain, but I had absolutely no clue how to actually execute the damn thing. Well. Okay, I knew that I would need to dip the scene into a genre I have literally never written, but that only made it more intimidating, not less.
But! I think that I finally figured it out. Not all of it, but the skeleton of the scene exists, and there’s even a bit of meat on the bones. I no longer feel like I’m just going to collide with it and bounce off.
So… three cheers for trying new things and growing as a writer I guess?
#yes I’m still working on my rbb#I has to get an extension bc things have been… a lot#had*#first major surgery then a friend passing away…#and so the words just got stuck for a bit#but they’re coming to me now#almost joyfully#it feels good#and the fic will be released in early august#and I’m both terrified and very excited to share it#it’s very dark#very personal in some ways I didn’t originally intend#completely different from Chiaroscuro also#but I think and hope that folks are going to like it#real talk with menace#ofmd
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I have a very busy week ahead of me. Pray for me.
#psych thing on the 30th#echocardiogram on the 1st#eye exam on the 3rd#🫠#they’re all necessary and important#but jfc#better to get it over and done with#at least I’ve had eye exams before lmao I know what happens during those#they’re gonna do all their little tests and tell me my eyesight got worse#and they’re not gonna have any glasses that I like that are covered by my insurance!!#you deserve to have disability aids that you like and want to use#(yes shit eyesight is a disability and yes glasses are disability aids)#I absolutely do Not have the money or the constitution to go through with it#but I’m gonna ask them if eye surgery would even be an option for me#like idk if I could ever go through with it bc I’m terrified of things getting too close to my eye#but it’d be nice to know that it /could/ be a possibility#(personally I don’t think eye surgery could be an option for me bc idk I feel like my eyes are too bad??)#(but I also don’t know enough about eye surgery to say)
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spider in room but everyone else is asleep so no one can help me :/ panic time i guess lol
#having scary things in my room is fun because i get to play the game of “which phobia am i MORE scared of: being around lifelong phobia of#mine OR the phobia of leaving my room and risking Being Perceived”#right now it’s the second one :/ which is pretty funny given that every else is fucking ASLEEP so there’s your proof that phobias can be#SUPER irrational lmao#but also my arachnophobia isn’t the worst like I’ll avoid places where spiders were near recently but i can still sometimes watch videos of#them sooo. yay for me lol? this isn’t true for other bugs (yes ik spiders aren’t bugs but my phobias don’t) which sucks for me because the#second most scary one is viewed as beautiful by most people and so many people love them. noooooo thank you. number one most scary aren’t#talked about but idk why they’re super common. and terrifying and OUT TO FUCKING GET ME. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS RUN *AT* ME#bugs love me. if i think about their existence too much i will have a panic attack. this is not a good relationship.#except for silk moths specifically. Ive never seen one irl and are still a little scared but i have a dnd character who loves them so same#ALSO BEES. I love bees. Not scared at all beyond like a normal reasonable “don’t fuck with them” kinda thing. bees are great i love bees#most of the stingy ones I’m ok with individually actually. i dislike the massive loud swarms of them but on their own they’re cute lol#(also to the bug and/or spider lovers i am not a kill bugs kinda person if this is worded weirdly that is because I’m having a fucking pani#attack please be nice)
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