#yes there will be a bit of intrulogical too

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

The Shadow Falcon | Hidden Depths

ik it’s only been a hour but i need a part two to the shadow falcon, cause im so invested ??!!!? also remus has got to explain why he was like yes beating him almost to death is what you do when you see your long lost brother for the first time in eight years – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: descriptions of past presumed character death

Pairings: intrulogical

Word Count: 3713

The next time Roman wakes up, he's still sore, but mobile. He's just about to try and set his feet on the floor when the door swings open and in walks—yeah, no, he's still not quite wrapped his head around the fact that Logan Hoskins is a.) holding him prisoner, b.) not currently torturing him right now.

"None of that, now," the man in question tuts like a disapproving parent catching a sick child trying to get up, "you're nowhere near ready to do anything more than simple movements."

"Most would consider being able to get out of bed simple."

Logan just gives him a scolding look and crosses the room, setting his hands on his hips until Roman slinks back under the covers and props himself against the pillows. He rolls his eyes—still with that fond exasperation Roman can't quite figure out—and draws over a nearby chair, taking a seat next to the bed. "I'd ask if you needed anything, I'm fairly certain I know the answer. Some food is on its way."

"How generous of you."

He arches an eyebrow. "I am, in fact, being quite generous."

"I didn't say you weren't."

"I'd like to think there's enough mutual respect between us that you won't insult my intelligence by implying I don't understand inflections and tones of voice, thank you."

"Whatever you say."

And yet, Logan doesn't do anything more than lightly swat his less injured shoulder before leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. He tilts his head to the side and, try as he might, Roman can't suppress the small shudder that goes through him at the thought of being under that gaze, already injured. Judging by the way Logan's mouth quirks up just a bit, he may as well have shouted it for the world to hear.

"Remus really did a number on you, didn't he?"

Roman just shrugs. "I did say I didn't blame him."

"Why?"

"I'm pretty sure I said this too—"

"Yes, you feel responsible for his supposed death, and you'd take any sort of pain he inflicts on you as punishment in an attempt to alleviate your own guilt, I'm well aware—"

Wow. Okay. Didn't expect to be in the shrink's office this morning. Also, since when the hell did Logan Hoskins know enough about either of them to—?

Ah. Right. Remus works for him. Might have conveniently forgotten that little part. Does that send a new wave of fear and uncertainty through Roman's body? Perhaps.

"—but that doesn't explain everything."

He snaps himself back to the present. "Are you expecting me to explain everything to you now, then?"

Logan smiles. "See? Despite what you believe, you are capable of being reasonable."

"Didn't take this as your preferred venue for conversation, is all."

"I do mourn the days where one could have a nice cup of tea and a civilized interrogation, but we must adapt to our times. So…" And here he gestures for Roman to speak.

Roman takes a deep breath—or as deep as he can with his cracked rib—and lets it out slowly. "I'd tell you I wasn't expecting to see Remus at the Shadow Falcon, but I think you'd also take that as insult to your intelligence."

The corner of Logan's mouth quirks up again.

"I was on an unrelated mission. Seeing Remus again was…rattling. I wasn't prepared for the emotional consequences." He huffs. "And I also wasn't prepared for you, but—"

"That's not exactly uncommon."

"Rude."

"But accurate," Logan says lightly, "and you're dodging the question."

"What exactly do you want me to say? You already seem to know why I let Remus beat me up, what else do you want to know about it?"

"Why didn't you look for him?"

Roman scoffs and pays truly no attention to the protest of his ribs. "Now who's not operating at the same level of mutual respect?"

Logan tilts his head. "Your brother, your dear, departed brother, vanished in front of you and you didn't so much as look for him, I'm not sure—"

"Did he tell you that?" Roman shakes his head. "It's not true. I don't know what he's told you, but—"

"Careful, now," and just that, just that slightly icy tone has Roman right back in that room, hanging by his wrists, "let's not make this any more uncivilized."

"I'm telling you the truth. I don't know what he's told you—but I can probably guess, based on how you're treating me and how you treat him—"

"What would you know about how I treat him?"

Roman levels him with a glare. "I'd like for you not to insult my intelligence either."

There's a pause. The fans hidden in the ceiling momentarily kick on again. Logan taps his fingers on his knee until he sighs, uncrossing his legs and standing.

"Food will arrive momentarily. Do try and eat it, you'll need to regain your strength."

"Hey," Roman calls as he turns to go, "you haven't explained what you want from me yet."

Logan pauses, glancing over his shoulder with a hand on the doorknob. He smirks again. "What sort of interrogation would this be if I let you know precisely what I wanted?"

"The kind where the likelihood of you getting it increases because I'm not exactly in a position to do much of anything about it right now."

"Keep telling yourself that, little hero." Logan winks and disappears through the door.

Roman sighs, slumping back into the pillows. So. Still a hostage, still don't know what the hell is going on, still trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that Remus is alive.

Holy fuck, Remus is alive.

He forces himself to take deep, slow breaths, trying to keep the machines from going haywire and summoning who-knows-what back to his room to figure out what's going on. He'd done a pretty good job—okay, maybe a halfway decent job—at keeping his cool in front of Logan, he'll be damned if he fucks that up now.

He stares at the wall as he calms himself down, trying to figure out what to do next. HQ would know, no doubt, that he's missing by now, but he's not going to delude himself into thinking any of his trackers are still on him or even remotely near him.

So now he has to play the hostage game.

Great.

***

"Is he awake?"

Logan chuckles as he closes the door, coming to sit next to Remus at the breakfast bar, taking a cup of coffee with him. "Awake, back to his normal quip-throwing self, yes."

"Good."

Logan eases himself onto the bar stool, sipping from the mug as he glances at Remus. He's sitting hunched forward, one hand tapping restlessly on the counter, the other fiddling with the nails on his thumb and index finger as he stares a hole into the stove top.

"You really did do a number on him," he says softly, trying to cross the distance between them.

"I know."

"Not that I don't understand why you did it, but was such a harsh treatment really necessary?"

"I had to be sure."

Logan huffs a laugh into his coffee. "Do his ribs break a certain way that only his brother would know? Are his bruises only formed in a pattern you can recognize?"

"Only Roman would be a big enough fucking idiot to let me beat the shit out of him and then be upset because he can't hug me when I'm done."

Just like that, the humor leaves the room as Logan places a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder. He lets out a shuddering breath and his eyes flutter closed, head tipping forward. After a moment, Logan's hand shifts to card gently through the hair at the nape of his neck. Remus's hand trembles slightly.

"Did you ask him?"

"I did."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me now who wasn't operating at the same level of mutual respect."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, dear."

"Can we find out?"

"I have people on it. We'll figure it out." Logan shifts to scratching lightly at his scalp. "You know, you could try asking him yourself. He's not seen you in a long time—"

"I know he hasn't seen me in a long time, that's the whole fucking point." Remus pulls himself away and paces up and down the length of the bar, twisting his fingers together. "I'm not fucking ready for him to just stare at me like the answer's fucking obvious when he just abandoned me to—"

"Shh, shh, darling, you'll work yourself up." Logan takes Remus's hands in his and gives them a squeeze, looping them around his neck. "I'm not saying you have to like what he says, or even that it'll be the truth."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Roman loves you enough to nearly dislocate his wrist trying to give you a cuddle after you cracked his ribs, perhaps he loves you enough to be honest with you too."

Remus looks at him for another long moment, before he sighs, tears hanging heavily behind his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can," Logan coaxes, giving his hands another squeeze, "I know you can."

"What if it goes wrong?"

"Then we'll just kill him." Remus's head jerks up so quickly for a moment Logan frets he's hurt his neck, so still he may as well be a statue, and he chuckles. "I'm only teasing, dear."

"Don't fucking do that."

"I know, I know, that was in poor taste, I'm sorry." He cups Remus's cheeks and kisses his forehead. "I didn't mean it, you know I'd never have your brother killed. We'll just rough him up a little and throw him back to the kennels."

"He's stubborn."

"Believe me, I'm aware. That's a trait that runs in the family."

"He'll…he might not want to go back—I—it's just—"

Logan frowns when Remus keeps stumbling over his words. "It's alright, dear, say what it is you want to."

"I don't want to lose him again," comes the whisper, "and I don't know how to keep that from happening."

"That's what we're trying to do, isn't it?"

"But Roman never chooses this." He gestures around at the room, between them, at the little pin with Logan's calling card affixed to his lapel. "He's so fucking noble."

"Everyone has a weak point—I think it's been well established by now that you are our dear little hero's."

"That didn't stop him from abandoning me last time."

Logan sighs, stepping closer to pull Remus's face into the crook of his neck. He runs his fingers through his hair, the other smoothing up and down his back. Remus's hands curl hesitantly into the fabric at his sides. He hums an encouragement. Remus inches forward until their chests are flush together, breaths still stuttering just a little.

"You won't be alone," he whispers into Remus's ear, "never again, my dear. I'm right here, I won't leave you."

"You better promise."

"I promise, Remus." He pulls back just enough to kiss the tip of Remus's nose, now suspiciously red, and rest their foreheads together. "You're bound to me just as I am to you. Nothing short of death will change that."

"Then you'd better not fucking die either."

"That's what I have you for."

Remus laughs at the familiar joke, relaxing a little into Logan's hold. They stand there like that for a while, the soft music coming from the radio filtering the worst of the city's background noise. For a moment, they could be any other couple enjoying a quiet morning together, swaying in the kitchen, until Logan's phone buzzes and he regretfully pulls away.

"I have to go," he murmurs, "but I won't be gone long."

"Will you be there, when I talk to him?"

"Of course, my dear."

***

"Ro?"

"Re?" Roman's head lifts slowly off the pillow, eyes widening as he sees Remus sitting on a chair next to the bed. "Remus!"

"Hey, Roro. You doing okay?"

"Little bumped and bruised, but yeah, I'm okay."

Remus snorts. "Okay, your gift for fucking understatement clearly hasn't gone anywhere."

"Yeah, well."

"That's not a fucking answer!" Roman just shrugs, grinning up at him until he shakes his head. "You're a bigger disaster than I thought."

Still, nothing quite hides the way their hands stutter for a moment as Remus pulls his from under the covers, tucking it under his chin again. He can feel Remus's pulse against the back of his hand, can feel the way his fingers are still callused, still worn, still alive. He lets out a shaky breath and Remus gives his hand a little squeeze.

"Aren't you two sweet?"

Roman jerks his head around as Logan comes in, taking a seat on the other side of the bed. He sets a glass of water on the nightstand and ruffles his hair. Remus huffs.

"Yeah, he's not really good at turning off the whole villain-jump-scare thing."

"I've noticed."

"Hush, the both of you." Still, he offers Roman a small wink before sitting back in the chair, seemingly content to let Remus…do whatever.

Ah.

Wait a moment.

"Is this…the rest of the interrogation?"

Remus's grip tightens a little. "Yeah."

"I see." He's not going to let go of Remus's hand until Remus wants to, though, so he just takes a breath, tries to relax against the pillows and squeezes. "Well. What do you want from me?"

"Why didn't you look for me?"

Wow. Don't ease into it or anything. Though he supposes that little chat with Logan this morning might've counted. "What did Logan tell you?"

"Does it matter what Logan told me?" Remus glares at him. "Answer my fucking question."

"I thought you were dead, Remus, I couldn't—"

"So, what, they just told you I was dead and you bowed your head like a good little boy and said yes, sir? No fact checking, no nothing? Were you happy to be rid of me?"

Now, see, Roman was not, in fact, known for his ability to keep his emotions in check. So much so, in fact, that he's pretty sure there's a note in his file not to bring up his brother in any way, shape, or form. Said brother, of course, would be unaware of this fact, and so he gets treated to a very surprised expression on Remus's face when he yanks him forward by his collar.

"Don't you ever," Roman hisses, "say that again. I was not fucking happy to be rid of you, I almost fucking died trying to follow you. They locked me in a room with your fucking corpse, Remus, I was not fucking thrilled about that!"

"They did what?"

Roman makes himself take a deep breath. "That night. You went to train. Middle of the night they woke me up with a blaring alarm and forced me down to the cells. You were there."

"No, I fucking wasn't—"

"I know that now. But Re, you—" don't get stuck there, don't get stuck there, don't get stuck there— "there was so much blood. You were there. You looked—you were so hurt, I stayed there all night trying to do CPR to bring you back, even when I knew it was—they had to pull me off you and sedate me."

Remus is staring at him now, eyes wide with horror. Roman's breathing is too heavy. He's broken the cardinal rule of interrogations. He doesn't give a shit.

"I tore that fucking morgue apart when I couldn't find your body again. That body was you, Remus, they got everything right. Your birthmarks, your scars—"

"What do you mean, 'they got everything right?' What the fuck are you talking about?"

It's Roman's turn to pause. "You don't remember? That whole thing about the body duplicator?"

"The what now?"

Roman turns to glare at Logan, only to see him looking equally confused. He heaves a sigh and eases his grip on Remus's collar, wincing as he does so. "There was a rumor about duplicates going around. Victims turning up dead many times over. They were trying out this new hallucinogenic that made you see the body as someone else. Took everyone way too fucking long to realize the call was coming from inside the house."

Logan's eyes widen in recognition. Remus splutters. "Wait, wait, wait, what? Lo, what's he talking about?"

"The Director was replaced nearly a decade ago, a few months after your…disappearance," Logan says slowly, "but I had no idea he was…"

"A mad scientist plotting a sadistic takeover via emotional blackmail and murder?"

"…quite."

He looks back at Remus, who's staring at him in that lost way that he did before and oh, fuck, his brother's alive. "I never meant to abandon you, Re. I swear to god."

"Is this fucker still alive? You said he got replaced—who found him out?"

"Who do you think?"

Now Remus's eyes truly go wide. There's suddenly a lump in Roman's throat.

"Did you really think," he croaks, "that I'd let something like that just go? I thought he'd murdered my brother. I wasn't about to let him live."

"You killed someone. You killed the Director. You did that…for me?"

"Remus, the entire agency is different because of you," Roman says desperately, "the Director—the handlers, fuck, the training—I—you have to know I wasn't the only one fucking furious. There are so many safeguards in place, now, there's so many contingencies—you're the first name on the Wall of the Fallen in the facility garden, you—"

"The what?"

Don't cry. Don't fucking cry. "In…in the middle of that big garden, you know the one with the—with the fountain?"

"And the benches?"

"Yeah, that one. There's a, um…there's a monument to all the people we should've been able to save and couldn't—people who lost their lives in the line of duty or in service to the agency. I…might've thrown a fit when I learned that there wasn't any way to make sure you were remembered."

Well, fuck. He's made Remus cry. And that definitely means he's about to cry and this is the worst he's ever done in any interrogation ever and they're gonna rake him over the coals for this but he doesn't care because Remus just threw his arms around him and he's sobbing into his neck and he can actually hug back this time and he's—

If Logan has a problem with either of them bawling into each other like children, he doesn't say anything about it.

At least until Roman gets too exhausted to hold himself up and when Remus tries to lay on him, he accidentally lays right over the cracked rib.

"Easy, dear," Logan says softly, standing up to brace a hand on Remus's shoulder, "you'll hurt him like that. Come over to this side, yes, that's it, come lie down next to him over here."

Remus just crawls over Roman on the bed and flops down, arms around him again. Logan chuckles, but Roman doesn't give a shit. And wow, what sort of day is this turning into where he can afford to not give a shit about Logan Hoskins?

"I didn't know you were alive, Re."

"Yeah, you've made that pretty fucking clear." Remus wipes his nose and mashes his cheek against Roman's good shoulder. "I forgive you."

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"I think you've broken our little hero," he hears Logan say distantly with something that might be concern, but Roman's head is still ringing with those three little words.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

"R-Re—"

"Oh, come here, you big sap," Remus grumbles with his voice all thick and they're cuddling again, Roman's hands shaking as he holds onto his brother.

***

"So," Roman says hoarsely when they've both cried themselves out, Remus dozing on his shoulder, "what now?"

Logan picks up the water and hands it to him. He manages a few sips before he has to give it back. He sets it back on the table and folds his hands. "Well, I believe we've reached a slight impasse."

"…where I want to go back, Remus wants to stay here, and we both can't deal with the idea of it?"

"Astute as always, little hero."

He looks at Logan. Really looks at him for a few seconds. "You know, I always thought the Director was awful before I really knew how much of a shit he was."

"Oh?"

"I never wanted Remus to be in a room alone with him. I tried to stand between them. I tried to make sure he'd never get the chance to get at Remus without going through me."

"And I suppose you're regretting that you never had the chance to stand between me and him?"

"Nah."

He gets the distinct pleasure of catching Logan off guard. "Really?"

"You care about him. You actually do care about him. Am I thrilled about it? No—" Logan stifles a snort— "but you…you're not actually trying to hurt him."

"I could be."

"I thought we agreed not to insult each other's intelligence. No one leads with 'you don't know how he sleeps at night' and isn't holding onto first-hand knowledge of that. You weren't exactly being subtle."

Logan chuckles. "I suppose not."

Another pause. Remus snuffles in his sleep and Roman squeezes his hand just as Logan reaches forward to card his fingers through his hair.

"This is gonna be a big fucking mess, isn't it?"

"I'm sure we can work something out. What," he laughs when Roman eyes him, "I did say I was capable of being reasonable."

"What do you get out of this?"

"Aside from the potential of a very convincing deal between me and that pesky agency?"

"Yeah."

He sighs, brushing his thumb over Remus's temple. "A chance to bring him some modicum of peace."

"I can work with that."

"Splendid."

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[orbmanson7]

@intrulogical sent me a Logan Angst prompt!

logan crying in a video whilst offering a solution to something and thomas going "stop crying"

I'm still taking Logan Angst prompts from any word or phrase sent to my ask box!

--

Asking for clarification had become almost habit for him by now.

"Ah, so you didn't mean that literally then?" Logan steadied his expression after the realization struck him. "I suppose this is why clarification is so useful in these discussions."

"There's nothing to clarify, Specs!" Roman threw his hands up dramatically. "It's not like we were trying to trick you!"

Logan blinked at that response. He hadn't thought they were trying to deceive him with their words, no, but it's not as though they had meant what they said, either. Hence the need for clarification.

He nodded towards Roman, replying,

"I understand that, but--"

"Do you?" Roman instantly cut him off. "Because it seems like it takes a million times for us to explain something to you before you actually get it!"

Oh. So he was bothered by Logan's repeated desire for clarification. The quantity was the issue.

"I believe I understand your concern. While some subjects may take extra consideration, I can assure you, I am trying my best."

"Are you?"

Thomas stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Was it unreadable to everyone else, too, or just him?

"Wh..." He was so shocked to hear Thomas outright doubt him like that, he couldn't even formulate the question he wanted to ask. He tried not to let it show, straightening his stance.

Thomas needed his trust, his confidence.

"Of course I am," he told him.

He just needed to be confident. He didn't need to bring more doubt to the topic at hand, after all.

"Princey kind of has a point, though," Thomas only frowned at him. "We've talked about this before, but you never seem to get it. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

"Well, yes, of course," Logan replied as quickly as possible, trying not to sputter over how badly his attempt had just failed. "But it's not as though I have limitless knowledge--"

"Aren't you his language center or whatever it's called?" Virgil piped up. "Isn't this supposed to be your thing?"

"I operate his recognition and use of language, yes," he answered truthfully, "but understanding more than the contextual meaning behind a phrase via facial expression or body language or tone of voice doesn't typically fall to my expertise--"

"Then why are you even doing it?"

"Wh... It... Because it's my job."

He'd never had anyone ask him such a question before, and he wasn't sure there was a better way to answer it.

"And yet," Roman butted in, "you need us to explain what we mean forty times every episode for you to understand? If it's your job, shouldn't you already know how to do that?" He grumbled, crossing his arms. "It's not like I have to relearn how to write every time I have an idea, you know. I already know how to do it. So what's your problem?"

Logan stared. He...wasn't sure there was an adequate answer to that, either. Surely, there was a legitimate reason why pragmatic errors frequented his discussions with others, but if it really was his role to handle that on Thomas' behalf, why was he continuously struggling with it? Why had he not learned about it, held onto that knowledge, and then applied it when the situation arose, just as he had with near everything else?

Why was this different, especially when it so heavily affected his purpose to Thomas?

What was his problem?

Roman laughed.

"What? Cat got your tongue now?"

"...no?" Logan raised an eyebrow, confused. "I still have my tongue and there is no cat to--"

"Logan, seriously, just stop." Thomas held up a hand to stop him. He wasn't even looking at Logan as he spoke. "You're the one always lecturing us about learning stuff but then you don't even understand half of what we're saying unless we spell it out for you!"

Logan bit his lip, willing himself to understand.

"I don't think you'd need to spell anything out, Thomas. I simply ask that you clarify the meaning of--"

"For the love of God, Logan, this is exactly what we're talking about!" Thomas shouted, finally turning to look directly at him.

Logan paused. So this was more of the same, then.

"Ah."

It wasn't just that he was asking too often, it was the matter of his asking at all.

Roman rolled his eyes.

"Boy, and you call me stupid."

"I don't believe I've called you that," Logan responded calmly, then adding, "Today."

Even if it was harsh, at least when he had said that, he meant what he said.

After all, why would someone say something they didn't mean? Wouldn't they want to be understood? To be able to communicate effectively?

When he spoke, he wanted to not only be heard but for others to know what he was trying to convey. Using hidden context served little purpose, and only proved to create massive communication issues like this one.

Logan absently fiddled with the end of his tie.

The others were all looking at him disapprovingly.

He swallowed, but something in his throat felt tight, obstructed. His eyes seemed less focused, slightly blurring around the edges.

He tried to take a proper breath, but it came in shuddering and came back out shaky.

None of these were good signs, at least as far as seeming professional goes.

"Perhaps I have asked for clarification far too often for your liking." Logan paused, expecting to be cut off yet again. When the others didn't respond, he continued, "I merely wish to make sure we're communicating properly, that I'm not misunderstanding your--"

"We shouldn't have to explain it every time!"

And there it was.

Roman and Thomas both began yelling a number of things, but Logan just waited.

Everything they were saying... They were right. Something was definitely wrong here. Logan shouldn't be continuing to struggle if they've all done their part to explain their intention so many times. Why was he still in need of clarification, of assistance? Why hadn't he resolved this on his own already?

He would have to keep trying.

As it quieted down, he turned to Thomas, attempting to hold his gaze without trepidation.

"I... I'll keep trying, then."

"What, so you weren't trying before?" Thomas was so immediately outraged. "How long are we going to have to put up with this?"

"Logan, maybe you just need to try a different way of figuring it out." Patton offered, hands up, placating. "We all know you get stuck in your ways, so maybe just try it our way this time, yeah?"

But doing just that hadn't ended well at all last time. He couldn't have been the only one who remembered that, right? Last time, he was only left confused and ultimately misunderstood by the others when he tried it 'their way'. That couldn't possibly be the solution. No, there had to be something else.

"Well," Logan tried, "I don't know if that would--"

"He's right!" Roman cut in, sounding angry. "You don't even want to get it, do you? Is this an attention thing again??"

Roman moved his arms around in ways that failed to make sense to Logan at all.

"Oh no, Logan needs even more attention now so he has to pretend to be stupid to get even more camera time!"

Logan was completely confused at such a comment. That didn't seem like a fair judge of his conduct at all.

He grimaced,

"I... I would never pretend to--"

"L, it's fine if you're just doing it so you get to talk more," Virgil told him, leaning back casually on the staircase. "I get it, man, but this isn't the way, you know?"

Logan did not 'get it' like Virgil apparently did. Why would someone pretend to not understand something? Why not just be sincere, clarify their confusion so they can get the help they need? What purpose would it serve to lie about it?

"I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain to them that he wasn't pretending without knowing why they thought he was. "That's not... I wouldn't do that--"

"Oh, please." Roman scoffed.

Thomas sighed, putting his face in his hands.

"Logan, the excuses aren't helping, either."

He hadn't meant to bother Thomas with all of this. He was at a loss on what he could do to fix this mess, one he had apparently started all on his own.

He swallowed again, feeling heat begin to rise behind his eyes.

"A-apologies."

Thomas shoved his hands down at his sides. Logan may not have been the best with body language but he could certainly tell his choice to apologize had been the wrong one to make.

Thomas glared at him, something Logan realized he had started to see more often lately. Logan flinched without meaning to, and he couldn't even begin to understand the shiver that had gone through him or what it could possibly mean. His vision blurred.

He could just make out Thomas' expression as it twisted at Logan's knee-jerk reaction, and he suddenly shouted at Logan,

"Ugh, stop crying! Just do better!"

He really hadn't meant to have any overt reaction, but he'd been quite unprepared for this turn of events.

Where had they come up with the idea that he would lie about this? Was this his fault to begin with, for not putting in enough effort to understand, to learn, to improve?

Clearly they had a better understanding than he did, so perhaps they were right. Maybe he was capable of understanding and was simply choosing not to properly learn how to discern the difference in someone's words with how they speak them.

He reached up, removed his glasses, and wiped a palm across his eye, trying to stop the tears that kept flowing. He wasn't entirely sure when he had started crying, either, but now it didn't seem to want to stop.

Thomas was right. Logan had to do better. It was past time he did his job the right way by now, and in the way Thomas wanted above all else.

He put his glasses back on and turned to Thomas, ignoring the last tear escaping down his cheek as he spoke.

"I'll try."

[naminethewriter]

Hidden Interests

We're back again, @intrulogicalweek is here! I am participating on a smaller scale this year, so I hope you enjoy this little One Shot! Just some insecure Logan and his supportive boyfriend Remus to start us of. Hope you enjoy 💙💚

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 23 Masterpost | Ao3

Summary: Logan wants Remus' help with an experiment. Remus figures he knows where he got his inspiration from this time.

Content Warnings: None

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what did you drag me out here for, Supernerdva?” Remus asked as he steps into the Imagination, following after Logan, who was holding a clipboard to his chest.

“I would like you to help me conduct an experiment.”

“Alright, what kind? Is it going to be bloody? Am I going to get hurt? Oh! Oh! Can we see what happens if we melt my skin off???” Remus jumped up and down in excitement, but Logan shook his head.

“I am willing to assist you with your ideas another time but right now I would like to test how the human body would move if it had the qualities of a rubber ball.”

Remus tilted his head. “Like the bouncy ones?”

“Yes, indeed. I am particularly interested in how the human shape effects the trajectory and I would like to differentiate between you having full mobility and no mobility at all.”

“Like turning my bones and muscles into rubber as well?! Sounds fun!” Remus grinned and Logan seemed delighted by his enthusiasm in turn.

“So, you are amicable to assisting me?”

“Yeah, sure! I’ve got just one little question beforehand.”

“Very well.”

“Have you been watching Phineas and Ferb?”

Logan froze. Remus was grinning at him with his sharp teeth on full display. A shudder ran down his back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tried to deflect but Remus’ grin just grew wider.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Lo Lo! Nothing wrong with watching a kid’s cartoon. Especially not a classic like Phineas and Ferb.”

“Again, I do not know what you are referring to. I do not engage with children’s media.”

“Riiiiiiight. So, you weren’t inspired to do this by The Night of the Living Pharmacists where Phineas, Ferb and their friends build a machine to rubberize themselves so they can bounce around and coincidentally end up immunized to the zombie apocalypse Doofenshmirtz accidentally started after he zapped his brother with an inator that’s supposed to make him super-duper ugly?”

“…No.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I do not see how this is a relevant discussion.” Logan turned away from Remus, trying to hide his flushed cheeks.

“Lo Lo,” Remus called quietly after a moment of silence. He didn’t try to move into Logan’s line of sight, but he brushed his hand with his own in a silent question. Logan reached back, letting Remus know it’s okay to hold his hand. “I’m just teasing you a little. There really isn’t anything wrong with you watching the show.”

“But… it’s for children,” Logan insisted in a small voice.

“So what? Thomas watches lots of kid shows. Especially cartoons. Hell, he made up an entire character to teach people how much you can learn from them.”

“Yes, but he’s Thomas.”

“Yeah, and we’re part of him.”

“But I am logic! I am supposed to read books, help him stay focused, not…”

“Hey, hey, stop,” Remus interrupted his rambling before it could move too deep into self-deprecation. “We’ve talked about this, Logie. You being logic doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel or enjoy things. I know it’s hard to internalize, so let me tell you again.” Gently, he pulled on Logan’s hand to get him to turn around and face him. “You are more than just your function. Your interests are valid, no matter what.”

Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know.”

“Good. And if you forget, I’ll be here to remind you.”

“Thank you, Meus.”

“Always, Love.” Remus pulled him into a quick kiss before stepping back a bit. “Now, let’s make me the bounciest bitch around!”

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

Okay, but honestly? I think up until the point where Logan learns about Guardian, he's probably worried for his secretary (just because of company secrets, of course. Totally not because he's falling a tiny bit for the poor, pathetic man who tries his best to please Logan in all things, no matter how much it hurts himself in the process)

But after he learns? Logan is more-than-willing to do whatever it takes to get Guardian off the streets. And if that means shattering Patton's hopes of any sort of redemption or normalcy returning, well...

At least he looks pretty when he cries, right?

...I think the way i wrote Logan in Part 2 accidentally oversold just how much Logan cares about Patton, and that's on me.

To me Logan doesnt really care about Patton Foster, the guy. He cares about whether his employee, y'know, His Secretary/PA, is fit to work at the very high standard that Logan has come to expect. And sure, Patton is pretty, but Logan doesn't actually watch or care what Patton does as long as Patton's doing his job. That's why Patton has been able to get away w/ the double act so well so far, I think.

But yes, if/when Logan finds out about Patton being Guardian, he would be interested in taking Patton off the streets, but I think (and it doesn't help I havent written the other 'plots') that Logan in his villain outings has been focussed on a different hero (Remus), so he might actually end up reconnecting with Janus to... discuss a business proposal :3

This is NOT to say that Logan won't end up bending Patton over his desk to rail him. He will. But i think Logan is smart and cautious, and knowing Patton is Guardian, he knows Patton actually is very clever too. So he wouldn't fuck with Patton if he wasn't fully assured it was... safe. If by this point, Guardian wasn't going to interfere with Sanders Inc or whatever.

I think this may mean Logan strikes a deal of sorts with Janus/Siren to leave Patton impressionable enough that he won't question Logan making sexual advances on him. And it'll help turn Guardian into an edgeslut so Janus will be happy to help, for a good deal of course ^-^

Patton would end up being easy prey for Logan. And I think that Logan likes a puzzle. He likes a fight. He likes someone who he can... dissect. Metaphorically. And this is why i think the intrulogical will be kind of insane.

This is way too long sorry and forgive the lateness of my reply, I was busy getting hammered over New Years.

[spextered]

you make such a valid point about how absolutely watered down remus' character is. if i could muster up some writing energy to finally write my introspective logan and remus series i Would, because i just need more people to be more exploratory with their remus characterizations

i admit we don't have a full grasp on his character yet since i think he plays a big role in the finale, but MAAAN people really be doing the Least with the way they portray him. another complaint i have w most fics is that if they make him sympathetic or comforting to another side, they basically strip his entire personality away just to make him palatable. it's very annoying!!!!

if you remembered where you read those remus essays i would def appreciate if u can send them to me!! need to intensify my remus brainrot rn

ps, I KNEW UR URL SOUNDED FAMILIAR!! of course u saw my dsmp and fundy essays from back in the day lmfao. those were the times - @intrulogical

for some reason i feel like tss fans are a little media illiterate when it comes to remus specifically

i just??? feel like they cant see past him being intrusive thoughts which, to be fair, is what he was introduced as and hasnt been really elaborated on but as much as remus presents through blunt honesty, hes also NINETY NINE PERCENT SUBTEXT

if u did write that fic i would LOVE to read it. im an intrological girlie at heart i just adore the way they mesh and im a sucker for introspective works especially. plus ur takes are always so good

AND YEAH!!! its so odd that hes so open and yet somehow we know so little about him. we know his name but .... but what? nothing. all the sides have emotional important moments through their name EXPECT for remus (and a bit logan technically considering he didnt reveal it but it did come after one of his videos). we have yet to get a peek into remus' noggin which is interesting considering how honest he is

but yes u have EXACTLY THE SAME OPINION AS MEEEEE i cant read a lot of remus centric/angst fics because its really just Not him. its like a blank cut out trope with his name and face plastered over but it aint him. and its always to make him more palatable, more normal because then its okay to sympathise with him. i get the feeling that a lot of authors feel weird making angst for a character who doesnt experience turmoil in the "desirable" way. like that they cant feel bad for someone who isnt a hundred percent morally good

maybe im reading too much into it but thats definitely the vibe im getting. either that or people just dont care enough to understand him past a trope gaaahh

(ps ps ur fundy essays were all i lived for u were one of like Two fundy people i followed.....love forever)

[charliefrownyt]

I posted 120 times in 2022

That's 95 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (8%)

111 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@princeanxious

@thedramaclubs

@wearewatcher

@sandysandsides

@miguel-manbemel

I tagged 15 of my posts in 2022

#sanders sides - 5 posts

#picrew - 5 posts

#oc - 3 posts

#good omens - 3 posts

#virgil sanders - 2 posts

#prinxiety - 2 posts

#intrulogical - 1 post

#fanfic - 1 post

#fluff - 1 post

#crowley - 1 post

Longest Tag: 22 characters

#crowley and aziraphale

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just finding random Tier lists

5 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#4

Tea time (Prinxiety and Intrulogical)

This will most likely be short but I really wanted to write something.

Au: Human

genre: Fluff

________________________________________________

~3rd pov~

Virgil, Roman, Logan, and Remus were about to have their tea time in their living room. The living room was cozy with the fire from the fire place raring. The quite taps of rain being heard outside. Roman and Virgil were seated on their couch, Remus was seated in the chair across them, in between was a nice glass coffee table that was rimmed with smooth dark oak wood.  Logan then came in a few minutes later with two trays, it was his turn to make food today. One holding all four plates for them and one holding��biscuit and sweets on it with drinks too. He set them down on the coffee table. They all took a plate and started eating, Logan sitting himself down in Remus’s lap, one of Remus’s arms sliding around his waste. They ate and talked, sometimes laughed. Roman braiding Virgil’s hair when he finished his food, Virgil surprisingly let him do so while he ate, drinking his coffee. Logan sipped on his tea letting Remus have some when he asked, wondering why he didn’t just drink his own drink. They all talked about random things, each cuddling their lovers.

____________________________________________________

That is all I could write- So there- Sorry it’s short

7 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#3

This is a spotify playlist I made of these two, the art is not mine at all and if anyone could tell me who made it I would be very greatfull to know so I can give them credit. (And yes, I did put a lot of songs in the playlist-)

9 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#2

Sanders sides Themed tea

Roman:

Brightly colored with beautiful flower designs with some more real flowers on the side. It kind of reminds me just a little bit of Cherry blossom tea. Very creative

Logan:

See the full post

10 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sleep (Prinxiety)

Random short thing I made

Au: Anything you want

Genre: Fluff

“Virgie, you need to sleeeeeeeeeep” A sleepy half awake Roman whined to his husband who was beside him on his phone. It was 3 AM, Virgil did not wanna sleep at all, he just wanted to keep scrolling through Tumblr all night. Roman had fallen asleep around 10 PM he had woken up when Virgil had accidently turned up the volume on a game he was playing that was loud. Which made Roman snap awake, Virgil was not pouting at Roman. Roman had given up on trying to talk to Virgil to get off his phone, so he decided to take it away for a while. Roman sleepily and slopply kissed Virgil’s cheek and held him close in his arms, Virgil pouting still trying to be fake upset at Roman but that wasn’t working out so he wrapped himself around Roman’s torso, Roman smiled a bit and held Virgil close, making sure their blanket was over the both of them as they cuddled. Both falling asleep nearly seconds after that.

24 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hyperfixated-homo]

uuuuhhh im just going to throw in some fics ive been rereading recently because i wanted to recommend them anyways

as always, the first fic to come to mind is Low Battery by MidniteBlue (aka my bestie annaizscribbling). its a hurt/comfort, logan centric fic where everyone is sad but they’re working on it. familial dlampr

Just Out of Reach is an ongoing fic by the same author. its sort of a psychological horor fic, where patton wakes up in an alternate reality and things go badly very, very quickly. again, familial dlampr

uuhh im going to plug my own fic too, since you said that was alright lmao. The Disney Trivia is a fic i wrote after talking to two of my moots for like. two hours about the idea if a trivia episode in sasi. romantic mociet, prinxiety, and intrulogical (focus on the mociet tho)

The Best Medicine by selfdestructivecat is. one of my favourite prinxiety fics. roman is a simp who loves virgils laugh basically. its perfectly awkward and cute (and a little bit angsty. just a little)

Take Me as I Am is a hurt/comfort fic about logan coming out to virgil as nonbinary. its very sweet but theres also quite a bit of angst and miscommunication goin on. romantic analogical

if ur looking for a longer fic (like 180k words) Powerless is a great superhero fic featuring superhero roman and not-really-super villain virgil. romantic prinxiety and logicality. romans dating this other chick too (kinda…you’ll see)

if ur looking for a long for a long series, may i reccomend literally the entire Labeled series. The gist of it is that logan and patton are dating, and adopt teenage kid virgil. oh and logans a superhero and virgil’s a vigilante :)

and if ur looking for an even longer fic (210k) and an even longer series (530k) im going to recommend Of Coffee and Princes. i dont really want to spoil too much, but the endgame is intrulociet and analogince (yes they coexist. it makes sense when you read it). basically there’s an alternate dimension, and logan finds himself trapped in it. so much stuff happens. its a fantastic fic just trust me bro /lh

and if you want something just. incredibly chaotic. Logan’s To-Do List: The Sides Go Shopping is a crackfic (i say even though its written fantastically) where they just go to different stores and find fun ways to get banned :) platonic everybody. although im pretty sure logans not going to be feeling too friendly after the fic is over

y'all can ppl give me some good sanders sides fanfics?

perferably prinxiety, but ill also take logicality, analogical, demus and maybe intrulogical, platonic or romantic

again, anything good, but a supernatral or apocalypse au or oneshots would slap hard

and no idc about self plugging, you get your reads shawty

thank youuu

[e-equals-m-c-scared]

I Am A Delicate, Fucking Flower HISS

coming right atcha with an angst moceit fic ideaaa

Janus and Patton !! like !! each otherrr

Patton is out and proud but Janus isn't out yet (and yet his pride grows everyday...)

his mum is SUPERRR homophobic and he's afraid that if she finds out she'll disown him and kick him out (or worse)

they aren't dating or anything, but it's an unspoken thing that they're super into each other (there may have been a lil tea spill when Janus was wine mom drunk)

they do be vibin, hanging out getting all close and stuff and it seems like something might come out of it

but then

BUT THEN

roman the pretty boy prince steps in and gets all googly eyed for Patton one drunk night

and ?? how could pat resist???

splash in a bit of royality to taste

they don't start dating or anything, but they do kiss (which is farther than with Janus)

kissing is really nbd to Roman (he be making out with randos all the time at parties) and honestly Patton only participated cause ro is pretty and they were drunk and Janus was pretending to be straight

but Janus finds out and flips out, like sure go for the easy, pretty boy you guys are a great match

things get a lil heated and Patton mentions that he's past the point of hiding, he doesn't want to be with janus if it means skulking around like it's wrong (emphasis on the he does want to be with janus)

Janus says that he'll be real happy with ro then, the prince of pride, out and proud and unafraid-

they continue bickering until lo and remus find them and are REAL confused

they leave on a very sour note, pat already pretty drunk but now hellbent on getting hammered and Janus barely even tipsy but plotting Roman's demise

Janus goes home, has a confrontation (yelling) with his mother and comes out to her in his frustration, immediately regretting it

she's disgusted, says he's not her son, tells him that unless he's bringing a girlfriend home then he shouldn't be coming home at all

it's now the middle of the night, his phone's dead, he can't go to pattons and he won't go to remus' (lives with roman) and now Janus is homeless with no where to go

[roman-postin]

Made a traditional doodle based off of this quote ✨️ I was gonna remake it digitally but this isn't half bad tbh

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

The Laws of Thermodynamics

An Intrulogical Fic.

Written for @sandersidesbigbang

AO3 Link: [here]

Check out @dystopiagnome‘s art [here]!

Soundtrack by @rustic-nocturne.

-

Every week in Warren, Idaho was the same.

Logan awoke Monday morning feeling rather sub-optimal, as was usual.

While he was well aware of the plethora of health risks associated with sleep deprivation, he was a "night person" at heart. He did try very hard to maintain a healthy sleep schedule all days of the week. Unfortunately, more often than not, Friday and Saturday nights found him up late, absorbed by one project or another; Sunday nights, he often found sleep near-impossible between the late weekend mornings, and the looming dread of having to return to work. And then abruptly, it was 5:30 Monday morning, and it was time to get ready for work.

As always, there was a traffic jam on the main road. Logan sipped at his travel mug of coffee, and ignored all the honking. NPR'S Morning Edition filtered through the radio static, because of course Warren was too far away from any broadcast station for him to hear Bob Edwards’ voice clearly.

Logan was out of coffee when he pulled into the high school parking lot at 6:25 AM, so he stopped in the teacher's lounge to make himself some more.

“Good morning, Logan," said Dot when he walked in. “I just started a fresh pot, it'll be ready in a few minutes.”

"Thank you, Dot," Logan replied stiffly. He sat down at the table across from her, hoping she wouldn't-

"Did you have a nice weekend, Dearie?"

-do that.

"Yes," he sighed. "I accomplished a number of goals. A pause. Then, because it was polite, "And yourself?"

Dot happily launched into a detailed retelling of the dinner party she and her husband had hosted. Logan listened politely until the coffee was ready. Then, after refilling his travel mug, he carefully extracted himself from the conversation - aided by the arrival of several others into the break room, so he felt a bit less rude- and headed for his classroom.

[continue on AO3]

[eliemo]

Little Talks

Summary: As Logan starts spending more time with the Duke in an effort to keep him under control, Remus has to come to terms with the fact that the way he treated Logan may have caused lasting damage after all.

TWs: RSD, violent thoughts, strong language, blood mention (it's Remus, what did you expect)

Pairings: Developing friendship. Can be seen as platonic or romantic Intrulogical

Notes: Thank you to @cheshirevalentine for helping me create and edit this. They're amazing and I love them dearly. Their AO3 is here!

Having Logan in his room was… weird.

Remus had known it was going to be happening. Logan had made the offer to stop by Remus’s room and let the Duke bounce his ideas off of someone. He’d let Remus ramble, listen to the flood of intrusive thoughts and gory, outrageous ideas, all so that Thomas wouldn’t have to.

Remus had cheerfully referred to Logic as his “test subject” the first time he’d come in, laughing outright at the way Logan’s face had screwed up in indignation.

He didn’t really plan on actually doing anything to Logan, despite the incredibly dangerous position the light side had put himself into. He mostly just talked, reciting each and every thought that came to his head in detail, watching to see if he could get an entertaining reaction out of the ever-stoic Logan Sanders.

It didn’t really work. Logan was stupidly boring with his stuffy clothes and perfect schedule and condescending eyebrow raises. He didn’t say much the first few times he stopped by, their “talks” only lasting ten-to-fifteen minutes at most, but after a week he seemed to warm up to the idea of talking to Remus a little.

He’d ask questions- ask where Remus had gotten an idea, or ask him to expand on a particularly disturbing thought- and while Remus didn’t always have an answer, it was nice to not be completely shoved aside and ignored for once. Besides, Remus always thought of the best answers to those sorts of things on the spot. He liked the challenge of having to think on his feet.

It was still weird, though. But Logan kept showing up, day after day, and Remus could almost pretend he wasn’t the only one enjoying their talks.

He knew that Logan didn’t want to be here, of course. Their meetings were on his calendar, so it was obviously an obligation. He was doing it so Thomas could get some sleep, and Remus could be a little less of a burden. Of course.

Remus had only only expected it to last a few days, if he was honest. A week at most. He knew he was a lot to deal with, especially alone, and he knew it would only be a matter of time until Logan decided it was all too much and forgot all about their little “arrangement”.

But Logan came back the next week, and the week after that, and soon fifteen minutes turned into twenty, then thirty, and some days he even stayed almost a whole hour.

Remus found he actually felt a little less agitated after Logan left, his head just a tiny bit more quiet. Tormenting Thomas was the closest thing he’d ever had to talking things out, and it was a little discouraging when the reactions were either horrified screams, insults, or pretending he didn’t exist.

Logan actually listened. He listened and engaged.

Remus loved Janus. And Deceit did what he could, but he didn’t have the same tolerance as Logan did for some of the gross things Remus came up with.

Maybe Logic would be open to dissecting something with him sometime…?

-

He should have known it wouldn’t last. Nobody stuck around Remus very long. He always did something to fuck it up.

He really should have known the way he’d treated Logan when he’d first made his appearance would be a problem. Logic separated himself from the Imagination, the side grounded deeply in reality, but a lack of lasting damage didn’t mean it hadn’t happened.

Remus had still hurt Logan to prove a point. And then had promptly moved on and forgotten about it until the next time it was brought up. Sometimes object permanence- or lack thereof- was a pain in the ass.

Remus had been ranting as usual, pacing around his room while Logan watched from the chair. He honestly couldn’t even remember what he was talking about, his mouth moving without much thought as it tended to do.

Whatever it was, he’d gotten worked up and excited, pacing the room, waving and flapping his arms as he talked, smile bright and mischievous and he whirled back to face Logan and-

And Logan flinched back, squeezing his eyes shut as his hands clutched the arm of his chair, shoulders hunched protectively.

It only lasted a second, Logan quickly pulling himself together and compulsively smoothing his tie once again. He seemed to do that when he was trying to pretend he was collected, Remus had noticed. His shoulders uncurled as he leaned forward again, but he wouldn’t quite look Remus in the eyes.

“Continue,” Logan said, when he realized Remus had stopped talking. “You were rambling about...something objectively disgusting.”

“I’m not stupid, you know.” Remus said, crossing his arms and ignoring the stupid, pointless hurt that blossomed in his chest when Logan couldn’t even recall what Remus had been saying. “I saw that.”

Logan blinked, staring at the Duke blankly. “Saw what?”

“You flinched.”

Logan scoffed, adjusting his glasses to avoid meeting Remus’s eyes. Again. “I did no such thing.”

“No, you did. I saw it.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Logan said, jumping right back into that emotionless facade he was so obsessed with. “Are you going to continue?”

Remus couldn’t even remember what he’d been talking about, his head flooded with images of Logan flinching away, eyes wide in terror, scrambling to get away.

Logan with a throwing star embedded in his forehead, with his mouth full of blood, crimson dripping down his forehead and chin, seeping into his pristine clothes and staining his tie. The thoughts seemed to dip into that spiral they always went down, swirling down the metaphorical drain pipe into his metaphorical pit-of-sewage excuse for a brain.

“No,” Remus said, shaking the thoughts away for the moment. Like stirring the cesspool a little so all the muck settled to the bottom. Metaphorically. “I’m good.”

Logan sighed, and Remus stepped away as the logical side stood up from his chair. “Then we’re done for the day.”

“Bye then.”

If there was one thing Remus was good at, it was pretending not to be bothered by the little things, by the way everyone perceived him. He was a terror and a burden, and he enjoyed it. It was funny! He didn’t care if he was liked, intrusive thoughts were never liked.

Remus flopped down on his bed, watching Logan’s back as he left. He was moving quickly, almost panicked, slipping out the door and closing it shut behind him.

Remus didn’t care if the stupid light sides liked him. He never had. But Logan… Logan was scared. Of him.

Scaring people was never the goal. Making Logan flinch like Remus was going to hurt him was never the goal.

Logan would deny it to his grave, of course. He was stupidly stubborn like that, somehow more stubborn than even Remus at times.

He’d insist that Logic had never felt a revolting feeling like fear in his life. He had no feelings on the matter, and Remus couldn’t frighten him because Logan had no feelings at all. Not enjoyment, not dislike, and not fear. Remus was another obligation on his schedule. Something to attend to. Nothing more.

And while Remus knew all of that was true… he also knew Logan was full of shit. He had feelings. His feelings might even be stronger than Patton’s or Roman’s. (Though it was doubtful. Weepy bitches they were- far too emotional for Remus’s tastes.)

And he was afraid of Remus. He’d made that perfectly clear today.

He… didn’t know how to fix that. His job wasn’t to fix problems. He made the problems. It’s better to start now than to never start at all, he supposed.

Well, obviously he had to start by finding a new coping mechanism. Logan was helpful, and possibly the healthiest outlet Remus had ever had, but he wouldn’t force someone who was terrified of him to come sit in his room and listen to him talk about guts and gore for an hour. He would have to find something to do in place of their talks.

A part of him doubted Logan would even come back again. Remus had caught him flinching, and with Remus’s reputation he wouldn’t be surprised if Logan assumed he would use the fear to his advantage.

And yeah, maybe under different circumstances he would have. Scaring people was fun but… not like this.

But that was fine, he could readjust to being alone. He’d done it before. He could lock himself in the Imagination, annoy Janus until he finally snapped and drove him away, maybe even pay Thomas another visit if he really got desperate.

He wasn’t disappointed. He’d gone his whole life without Logan’s company, he had no reason to miss it. It wasn’t fair to miss something he had barely begun to get used to. Logan was annoying and boring and stuck up, and Remus didn’t know why he enjoyed his company in the first place.

Not that he enjoyed it. He didn’t. He didn’t care.

He spent all night feeding himself those repeating lies, preparing to entertain himself all on his own tomorrow, so he was almost more annoyed than surprised when Logan walked right into his room the next day, same time as always.

Remus sat up in bed, watching in disbelief as Logan made his way to the chair and set his notebook on the table, settling in like nothing had changed.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Logan looked up at him, hands folded neatly in his lap. “I said I would make an effort to see you everyday. I put it in my schedule. If I’m not going to be able to make it, I will inform you the day before.”

“Oh,” Remus said, not bothering to move from the bed. “Well, that’s boring and predictable.”

“I prefer to have a schedule rather than do things on a whim. And I’m here now.”

“Yes,” Remus said, shifting to stare blankly at the wall beside Logan’s head. He bet he could spit that far if he really tried. “You are.”

There was a beat of silence that didn’t often exist in Remus’s room. Usually he would start talking right away about whatever late night thoughts he’d been plagued with, chatting on excitedly until Logan cut in to add something dumb and nerdy.

Remus didn’t plan on breaking the silence this time, choosing to sit and quietly dwell on his thoughts on his own, smirking at the utterly baffled look on Logan’s face.

Logan cleared his throat, frowning slightly. “What’s on your mind?”

“Lot’s of things!”

“Are you going to talk about them?” Logan asked. “That is why I’m here.”

“Nah.” He hated this, hated the way Logan was pretending to care, like he didn’t want to get up right now and run as far away from Remus as possible. Just like everyone else. “Intrusive thoughts aren’t always words, Nerdy Wolverine.”

He saw Logan shift uncomfortably, eyes darting briefly to the door, and Remus realized that might not have been the best way to phrase things.

“Ah,” Logan said, sitting back like he wasn’t terrified. “You can always show me instead. That is what I’m here for.”

“I’m good,” Remus said, doing his best to sound uncaring. “It’s gross.”

“Yes, I’m aware it probably is.” Another beat of silence and Logan sighed, standing from his chair. “Remus. The point of me being here is to keep Thomas’s intrusive thoughts under control. We’ve discussed this.”

And Remus knew Logan didn’t actually enjoy Remus’s company, he’d known that from the beginning, but it still hurt to hear. It hurt something fierce, a deep, sharp slash in his chest that he would swear he could feel, that he was just something to “keep under control”.

He pushed the feeling down, flashing Logan a toothy grin that he knew looked ridiculously fake. “Okay.”

Logan sighed again, pushing up his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. Remus wondered if he could frustrate Logic into storming out. “I’m here to help you.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“You do,” Logan argued, like he had any idea. “Surely talking to someone is better than being alone with your thoughts,”

Remus scowled, shoving himself off the bed and stalking past Logan, moving towards one of the various piles of rubble and bones scattered around his room. He bet Logan hated how cluttered it was in here.

“At least my thoughts don’t pretend to care about me.”

Remus kicked idly at something that looked a bit like a spine, staring blankly at the floor as he let his words settle.

“What?” Logan sounded genuinely confused for the first time. “What does that mean?”

“Hm?” Remus glanced over his shoulder, grinning. “What did I say?”

Logan stepped forward, shoes clicking against the floor, echoing against the now silent room. “I do not understand why you’re suddenly being difficult.”

“Suddenly?”

“Yes, suddenly,” Logan said, and Remus turned away again with an eye roll. “We had an arrangement.”

“Did we?”

“Yes.” Logan touched his arm, and Remus yanked away so fast he thought he might have pulled something. “This is beneficial for everyone.”

“Right,” Remus scoffed. “For everyone.”

Logan actually had the audacity to look taken aback, brow drawing in further confusion. “Yes? You have an outlet, and Thomas gets a break.”

“I don’t need it. I can bash skulls in the Imagination.”

“Which is significantly more unhealthy.”

Remus shrugged, kicking another bone until it slammed into the wall. “It’s easy and fun.”

“We were doing fine,” Logan said, trying to move around him so Remus would meet his gaze. “I thought coming in to talk to you was helping.”

“You don’t care,” Remus snapped. “And you don’t want to listen.”

“I want to,” Logan said. “That is why I’m here.”

“Right.”

“I am incredibly busy, Remus,” Logan said, and Remus felt like he was being lectured. “I would not be here if I didn’t want to be.”

“Then get gone!” Remus spun around gesturing to the door. “Just fucking leave already!”

“I think I’d prefer to stay.”

“You said you’re busy,” Remus snarled. “If you’re so busy you don’t need to carve out time for me.”

“I chose to.”

“Thomas can live with intrusive thoughts,” Remus said. “He’ll be fine. Patton and Virgil will ease up eventually. You should be focused on them.”

“I have been.” Logan was still staring at him, and at this point Remus was considering storming out of his own room. “I have time for you.”

“I thought you were busy,” Remus argued, back to being difficult on purpose. “Which is it? Are you busy or do you have time?”

Logan sighed, and now Remus felt like a child throwing a tantrum. “I’ve made time. I’m making time for you.”

“Right.”

“I don’t understand what changed,” Logan said. “I thought you were getting some enjoyment out of our talks.”

“Yeah, I was,” Remus admitted because despite everything, that was the truth. “But you aren’t.”

It took a moment for Logan to respond, no less confused than before. “I am perfectly content.”

“Yeah?” Remus finally turned around to face him, looking the logical side right in the eyes. “Then why did you flinch?”

Logan blinked, shoulders tense, a mix of panic and understanding flickering in his eyes. “I...did not flinch.”

“Yes, you did. Don’t lie.”

It was Logan’s turn to scoff, like Remus was being ridiculous and dramatic. And he often was, but he was serious this time. “I don’t see how one involuntary movement has become such a big deal.”

Remus didn’t look away, even as Logan’s eyes began to wander. “You’re afraid of me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Logan said. “I do not feel fear.”

“Yes you do.” Remus stepped closer, taking in the way Logan’s jaw clenched. “You have feelings.”

“No I don’t.”

“You do.”

“You’re figuratively jumping to conclusions,” Logan said, quickly changing the subject. “I am perfectly content spending time with you.”

“I’m not jumping to anything,” Remus said. “You’re scared.”

Logan rolled his eyes, hands lifting to brush over his tie before crossing his arms across his chest. Compulsory comfort action.

“You think you saw me flinch once and now you believe that I’m afraid of you, when there is no logical reason to be. You cannot cause any lasting damage to me, so I—”

Remus lifted a hand without warning, fast and sudden like he was going to strike Logan, keeping it frozen in the air as he took in the reaction before him.

Logan flinched back as soon as Remus moved, his own hands moving to protect his face, eyes glued to Remus’s raised arm, widening in genuine fear and shock.

Remus sighed, slowly lowering his hand as he watched Logan struggle to compose himself. “You’re afraid of me.”

“No,” Logan still had the audacity to argue. “I am not.”

“You flinched.”

Logan fixed his tie again. Remus knew it was some kind of nervous tic. “You startled me.”

“I lifted my hand.”

“Yes,” Logan agreed. “Unexpectedly.”

Remus sighed and stepped back out of Logan’s space, too tired to keep arguing.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He winced at his own words, images flashing in his mind of Logan stumbling backwards with wide eyes, of Logan covered in blood, of Patton screaming. “Not again, anyway.”

“Well,” Logan said, carefully clearing his throat. “You can understand that I wasn’t exactly…sure. That does not mean I dislike you. Or that I’m frightened of you.”

Remus found himself looking at his shoes, trying and failing to get images of Logan hurt, Logan dying, out of his stupid cesspool sewage pipe head.

He wondered if this was what guilt felt like. If it was, maybe he should start being nicer to Patton. This sucked dick and balls.

“I won’t.”

“And I appreciate that,” Logan said. “But you could not cause any lasting damage to me anyway.”

“So? It still, like… hurt you. I’m not gonna do it again.”

“Well then, I have no reason to be afraid.” Logan straightened, smiling at Remus like that had just solved everything. “Which I wasn’t in the first place.”

Remus’s eyes narrowed. “You flinched.”

“Yes I did,” Logan admitted. “I apologize for that. I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

Remus didn’t move, staring at Logan in disbelief, at a loss for words for the first time in his life. He hoped the exhaustion on his face resembled a glare at least a little bit.

“I don’t… understand,” Logan said, and Remus couldn't even stay mad at him. “Was an apology not what you wanted?”

“No, Logan. I don’t want anything.”

Logan tilted his head slightly, brow furrowed, and Remus could practically see the gears turning as he looked Remus over. “You’re still upset.”

“Why’re you still here?” Remus finally demanded, throwing his arms out in exasperation. “If you’re afraid of me why don’t you just leave?”

Logan blinked, seemingly unfazed. “Because I enjoy talking to you.”

Logic may as well have just punched him right in the chest, the air leaving his lungs in a rush as he took a step back, choking out a shocked laugh. “That can’t be it.”

Logan frowned. “Why not?”

“Nobody enjoys talking to me.”

“Well,” Logan said slowly, and it was like Remus could see some of his walls coming down. “If it helps, no one particularly enjoys talking to me, either.”

Remus wasn’t entirely convinced that was true, but he figured he wasn’t the right one to give Logan a talk on self esteem.

“I like talking to you,” he said instead. “I just think you’re kinda stuffy.”

“I enjoy talking to you as well,” Logan said, and it really did sound like he meant it. “I would just prefer if your more violent thoughts were not physically manifested.”

“Oh.” Remus swallowed, absolutely refusing to show Logic how much this meant to him. He wasn’t going to cry. “Yeah, I can...do that. Sure.”

“Then I’m glad we could come to an understanding,” Logan said, right back to the stiff, professional persona Remus was learning to see right through. “I’m not afraid of you.”

Remus nodded, and realized he was actually starting to believe him this time. “Yeah. Ok. That’s good.”

Logan stepped back out of Remus’s space and Remus quickly did the same, the two of them standing on opposite sides of the Duke’s now painfully silent bedroom.

“I can leave,” Logan said after a moment. “If you’d still like me to.”

Remus hesitated, fighting to keep acting like he didn’t care. “Do you want to leave?”

“Not particularly,” Logan said, and Remus hadn’t expected to feel so relieved. “But it’s your room. I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not.” Remus moved back to his bed, dropping himself unceremoniously onto his back. “Don’t leave if you don’t want to. I don’t care.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

Logan pulled up his usual chair, leaning back comfortably as he picked his notebook back up and began flipping idly through it. He looked content and relaxed when Remus risked a glance in his direction, and he smiled to himself.

“You can talk if you like,” Logan said, glancing up from the pages. “I’m listening.”

Remus did eventually start talking, dumping his latest ideas on Logan like he usually did, diving into last night’s fantasy of setting an office building on fire in the middle of the week.

Logan had added on, and Remus had listened intently as he’d recited statistics and calculations, the likelihood of survival, and the two of them eventually decided it would be a waste of time, the fire likely to be put out before even causing any real damage to the building.

That was a talent Logan had. He could get Remus to let go of a thought that typically wouldn’t have left him alone for weeks.

It wasn’t until Logan had stood up to leave for dinner, promising he’d be back at the same time tomorrow, that Remus realized Logan had stayed twice as long as he usually did.

Huh.

Weird.

[naminethewriter]

Between Two Lives Chapter Six: Pride

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

Story Summary: Written for Intrulogical Week 2022 @intrulogicalweek

Logan is stuck in Limbo until the Afterlife Registration Bureau processes his case so he can properly move onto a afterlife, whether that is heaven, hell, reincarnation or something else. While wandering around aimlessly, he’s approached by a demon that introduces himself as Remus and offers him a quicker way to the next life.

Content Warnings: Chess

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan hadn’t left his apartment since Roman had brought him back. He had tried not to pay too much attention to his watch – it brought bitter reminders – but he couldn’t help but notice the days go by. He passed the time by reading the remaining books from the library. Those, too, brought up memories he’d rather not recall but he refused to waste learning something new he might never again have a chance to learn because of – uhg – feelings.

 And then the letter came. The Afterlife Registration Bureau had finally processed his case. They offered him reincarnation. Now he had a choice to make: Either he accepts the ruling and leaves Limbo, or he appeals for reconsideration. He had a good chance of getting a different option if he were to do so, there weren’t any concrete reasons listed for why the had made their decision, so his protest might make them change their mind. But that would mean another long time waiting in Limbo.

 He wasn’t sure if that was worth it. Logan was very satisfied with his old life; he didn’t really want to lose it and gamble on a new one that might leave his new self miserable. Plus, he now knew that every bit of knowledge humans had ever possessed and written down was stored here. He could get an answer to all of his questions.

 But the appeal wasn’t a guarantee, and he really didn’t want to spend more time in the empty apartment and lifeless sector.

 There was a knock on the door.

Logan furrowed his brows. Who could that be? Roman maybe, there could still be consequences for his sneaking into Heaven. He hesitated.

 Another knock.

 He went to open it. He doubted that they would let him off the hook anyway, so he might as well cooperate. But as he pulled open the door he wasn’t met with an angel.

 The man was dressed in rather formal clothes, black slacks, a yellow (ironed) shirt with a short black cape across his shoulders. His long blond hair was braided and partially hidden under a black bowler hat. He smiled at Logan who kept a tight grip on the door handle, ready to close it if he needed to.

 “Can I help you?” he asked the man.

 “I do hope so. I am looking for a Dr. Logan Croft.” The man’s voice was smooth as honey, but his words kept Logan on edge.

 “I am him. Why are you looking for me?”

 “Wonderful. Let me introduce myself: My name is Janus.” As he said that he took off his hat, revealing two red horns on his head. He held the hat to his chest and gave a little bow before placing it back.

 Logan froze. This was Remus’ boyfriend. He should’ve guessed.

 “May I enter?” Janus asked, a pleasant smile on his face. Logan didn’t trust it.

 “Why?”

 “Because I find talking in the door rather unpleasant.”

 “No, why are you here? Did Remus send you?”

 “Yes and no.” Logan frowned but the demon continued before he could interject. “I am here to retrieve the books he lent out for you, but he didn’t ask me to do that directly. He simply cannot bring himself to do it.”

 “I can get them for you, there is no need for you to enter,” Logan said, chewing on his bottom lip. Janus kept smiling.

 “Indeed. But I was hoping we could have a conversation. Maybe over a game of chess.” That made Logan pause.

 “Chess?”

 “Yes, chess. I haven’t had a proper opponent in a while – I could play with Remus, but he changes the rules however he pleases and sometimes I just want a normal game. He mentioned you play.”

 “I do,” Logan confirmed slowly, “but why should I trust that that is your only intention?”

 “You would just have to, I presume,” Janus shrugged. “But what harm could a simple game of chess do? We will not be making any bets.”

 “I was just tricked by your boyfriend; you can understand why I would hesitate.”

 “Indeed, I do. Which is a topic I would like to discuss with you. Unless you are satisfied to leave the situation as it is?”

 Logan thought about his options for a moment, then he stepped aside.

 “Thank you.” Janus entered his apartment, eyes wandering around for a moment before he spots the dining table. “Shall we play there?”

 “It is the best option, yes.” Janus nodded and took a seat, placing his hat beside him, before pulling out a chess board seemingly out of nowhere. Logan guessed he should’ve expected that from a demon. He took his seat across from Janus as the other pulled out the pieces.

 “Do you prefer black or white?” Janus asked casually, as if Logan wasn’t observing him like he might attack him at any moment.

 Logan took a moment to think before answering: “Black.” Without comments, Janus arranged the black pieces in front of Logan and the white ones on his own side.

 “Are you ready to start?” he asked once he was done.

 “Yes. Please feel free to make your first move.”

 They played in silence for a while. Logan glanced up at Janus after every move, but the demon seemed content to study the board and plan out his moves. Eventually, Logan couldn’t take it anymore.

 “You came here to talk, so talk,” he said through clenched teeth, moving his rook.

 “I did. But I figured you might have some questions for me first.”

 “Like what? Why Remus betrayed me? If you were part of his scheme?” Logan huffed. Janus remained calm, moving a pawn up one space.

 “Something like that. Would you like me to answer them?”

 “Go ahead, if you like.” Logan didn’t know why he was being so aggressive with Janus. Yes, he’d been tricked by Remus, but he’d known that would be a possibility from the start, so why was it throwing him off so much?

 “Alright. Let me start with saying, that yes, I was aware of what he was doing from the start, but he didn’t share with me the details of his plans until he enacted them. And I did advise him to come clean with you before you last met.” He calmly watched Logan place his bishop before moving his own. “He told me that he was planning to.”

 Logan tried to determine whether the demon was lying or not from his tone, but he couldn’t get a read on him. Janus continued.

 “As to why Remus betrayed you – well, I find the word betrayed a bit harsh. He lied to you, even if just by omission, that is true. However, you must consider that he is a demon. That is literally what we do. And I doubt you can claim that any harm has come to you due to his challenges.”

 “Maybe not physically,” Logan agreed, “but he did demand a lot.”

 Janus chuckled. “Oh please, professor. He made you eat food that was in no way unpleasant, he made you listen to some lunatics, but you could have walked out whenever you wanted, and he gave you an outlet afterwards. And lastly, he let you acquire rare books for a simple deal you could have refused easily. Your visit to Hell and Heaven was not even part of a challenge. I do not see how that is demanding a lot.”

 Logan clenched his teeth but didn’t argue. Janus was right, none of Remus’ challenges had been truly difficult and he could have given up anytime. He chose to kiss him for those seven minutes. And maybe that was his problem. He had gotten too attached.

 “I do not fault you for being angry,” Janus continued after a few moments of silence. “Remus handled the situation in a less than ideal way. But I genuinely think that he was going to come clean to you. It’s simply that Roman took that choice away from him. Not that this is Roman’s fault either, he was just doing his job and as an angel, he could hardly overlook Remus messing with you. And in a lot of circumstances that would have been fine.

 “But Remus has a tendency to get too attached too quickly to people he likes. Add to that his sensitivity to rejection which leads to him to push others away before they can. After those first two challenges, Remus was already very invested in your relationship and feared that if he told you the truth you would never want to talk to him again. So, he put off telling you which leads us to where we are now.”

 Logan remained quiet, processing the information given to him while Janus made his next move on the board. He, almost automatically, did the same. Janus let him stew on it for a while.

 “You are asking me to forgive him just like that?” Logan asked eventually, his voice small. Janus shook his head.

 “I’m asking you to consider his perspective. To talk to him and hear him out. Check.” Logan blinked and looked at the board. Indeed, his king was in check from both Janus’ queen and bishop, and he didn’t see a way out. After a minute of deliberation, he admitted to his loss. Janus held out his hand.

 “Thank you for the game, Logan. It was entertaining.” Logan shook his hand.

 “Yes, I agree. I will get you the books now.” He hurried away, his head swarming with thoughts, unsure of what he should do. By the time he returned to Janus, he was no closer to an answer. The demon had put his hat back on and was patiently waiting.

 “Here they are. All fourteen.”

 “Thank you. I will see to it that they are returned to the library as soon as possible.” Janus waved his hand over them and they disappeared. The sight made Logan a bit anxious, but he shoved the feeling away. Janus watched him for a moment before nodding to himself.

 “I have said what I came to say. I hope you can reconsider your position, Logan. Even if you are in the right, making the first step is an option. Just don’t let your pride stop you.” Logan nodded, taking the advice to heart. Janus returned the gesture before heading for the door.

 Logan felt a pit form in his stomach. Even if he wanted to make things right with Remus, he had no way to contact him. His eyes fell on the letter from the ARB. They would want an answer from him soon. And if he doesn’t appeal, then none of this situation even matters for him anymore.

 And that left him with a strong feeling of wrongness.

 “Wait, Janus,” he called out before he even made the conscious decision. The demon turned around; eyebrow raised. Logan took a deep breath.

 “Take me to Remus, please. I need to talk to him.”

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Realignment

Prompt: I love when Remus is a lot smarter than he lets on, so I’d love a prompt where Logan is overworking himself and not taking care of himself and one tic of the clock away from either passing out or having a full on mental breakdown (not the type you can recover from in a day). Remus notices the little signs Logan shows, and hears the intrusive thoughts Logan has. Remus really becomes concerned when Logan’s intrusive thoughts start to involve taking breaks, going to eat properly rather than inhaling granola bars, and even sleeping. Remus storms in and is like “Logan tf????” Then gets hella soft once he realizes the state Logan is in

Thank you for the prompts, babe! I liked this one the best so I picked it. 

GUYS PLEASE VIEW THIS AS A C H E C K P O I N T if you've been scrolling for a while (and you probably have) pause here! drink water! get food! walk around the room for a little bit! stretch! do something please! you are very important to me and I care about you very deeply!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: discussions of self-harm, nothing explicit, some self-destructive tendencies and behaviors. 

Pairings: focus on intrulogical, background LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic i don’t care

Word Count: 2410

Realignment: to align again.

Realignment: to reorganize or make new groupings of.

* * *

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

The problem arises when the shit he starts to hear isn't weird at all.

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

 The more appropriate definition would be ‘fucked up like you wouldn’t fucking believe,’ but one of us has a problem with particularly strong language and shit doesn’t have to be censored in a lot of media anymore. Which is so convenient! For some of us!

 It’s fucking great.

Anyway. Point being. Fucked up shit.

 Intrusive thoughts literally fall under his purview. It’s the fun stuff! The stuff you don’t wanna think about that makes your skin crawl and your eyes pop open at the witching hour and stay awake until the sun rises. That’s Remus’s job.

 And it’s like the whole Mindscape is whack-a-mole that he gets to play with! Buttons here and there, squeeze this part and watch the eyes bug out of this part, bap this one on the head, see which one pokes up next. Who’s gonna have nightmares tonight? Who is having a nightmare tonight?

 It’s fun.

 Point. Right. Right.

 It’s normally pretty easy to tell whose intrusive thoughts are whose. They taste different. Patton’s taste like sugar so sweet it’ll fill your mouth with cavities. Virgil’s taste like spiders, crawling around his mouth. Janus’s taste like salt. So much fucking salt. Dry as hell.

 Roman’s taste like blood. Problem is, Remus’s mouth normally tastes like blood, so…

 Yeah, they gotta work that out.

 Logan’s taste like ink. Which is why it took him so long to figure out that Logan was having them. Not just because the nerdy wolverine was so convinced he couldn’t have them—rationalizing them as philosophy principles, come on—but because Remus isn’t exactly an expert on pens. Writing like normal people. Ugh.

 Normal people.

 What a lie, Janny probably gets a big kick out of those.

 No one is normal and normal is boring.

 Logan. Right.

 Okay, so here’s the thing.

 Logan’s thoughts aren’t really…standard? They are to some extent, you don’t really get a whole lot of variety from him—even when Remus has been so helpful in making his room safe for him to be in during bad days, there’s such a lack of imagination there that he wasn’t sure exactly how to feel—but it’s the recent ones that’ve been getting…weird.

 Remus chews thoughtfully on the kraken tentacle. He swings up to the chandelier and hangs by his ankles, letting the blood run to his head. Makes it easier to think sometimes.

 It hasn’t been very long since they found out…well, since they found out.

 Remus frowns. Why is he censoring himself? It’s not like he can’t fucking say self-harm, it’s not like he can’t describe what it was, it’s not like he can’t close his eyes and see it happening again.

 Then his mind jumps helpfully to the shocked, panicked look on Logan’s face and the soft, furious resignation on Roman’s, and his jaw snaps shut.

 Oh.

 Right.

 He cares. So he has to be gentle with them.

 He growls, swinging himself up to perch on the chandelier proper. He turns the kraken tentacle over and chews on the rubbery side.

 The others are delicate. Not that they’re more breakable than any other metaphysical humanoid, but their minds are fragile when it comes to Remus’s side of things. Could they handle the full spectrum of his side of thoughts and shit? Probably, they’re stronger than they give themselves credit for. Should they have to? Hell to the fuck no. But it means that Remus can’t just throw them in the deep end and see if the kraken spits them out whole or in chunks. Could they survive? Absolutely. Would they still be…them? Doubtful.

 Remus lets one of his legs go, hanging by one knee as he tips over.

 Plus they’re always a little more fragile when it comes to these thoughts anyway. Poking and prodding too much would hurt. Like, the bad kind of hurt.

 They’re not supposed to get hurt. Not like that.

 So. Gentle it is then.

 Right. The others. He has a point, he’s just gotta get there.

 Roman…fuck he’s missed his brother. They got—they got so much shit to still work out but they’re gonna do it together and fuck he loves his brother so goddamn much. Roman knows that, he knows that, and he’s always there to pull Remus out of his head when he needs it, hit him with a pillow, or tackle him onto something and hold him tight. He’s—his thoughts taste like blood and Remus hasn’t bitten anything since so that he’ll never miss it again.

 But with Logan...

 Logan is…odd. It hasn’t been long since they first found out—or rather, they confronted him about it, and Remus hasn’t tasted ink without it disappearing very quickly or knocking on someone’s door to please go get your fucking nerd, please. But the ink has only written the usual suspects, whispering the theorems in dark corners, muttering about the incompleteness of a set, the need for Logic, not Logan, and how to jump through the little loophole again.

 It’s not exactly hard for the others to tell.

 Lolo hasn’t been looking great. Sure, he’s all pressed and dressed, glasses perfectly in place, tie done up just so, walking around like everything’s just totally and completely fine, but it’s in his face. Object impermanence aside, normally when Remus bugs him, he reacts in some way.

 Sass is an emotional response and you won’t convince him otherwise.

 Whether it be a wry comment, effortlessly fixing whatever Remus has done to him this time, or even just a look, Lolo does something.

 Not anymore.

 Now he’ll just kind of…sigh and move on? He’ll fix whatever it is only if it’s directly interfering with what he’s trying to do, or when Patton or Virgil come round the corner and freak the fuck out because you’re bleeding! Then he’ll fix it.

 Remus wouldn’t say he’s bored, but he’s worried.

 Mainly because the intrusive thoughts…aren’t what he’d consider intrusive anymore.

 Take a shower.

 Eat something that isn’t just a granola bar.

 Go to sleep.

 Ask someone for help.

 See?

 If those are Lolo’s intrusive thoughts, then what the fuck is normally going on in his head?

 Remus waits. Waits. Keeps waiting.

 The instant his mouth tastes like ink again, with a question of whether or not Logan should take a break, he sinks straight into his shower. He washes his hair thoroughly, gets every single bit of grime off him he can, and puts on the softest pajamas he has—thank you, Roman—and drops himself outside of Logan’s door.

 He strains, mouth still full of ink, to hear anything other than the soft click, click, click of Logan’s keyboard.

 He can’t.

 Fuck.

 He knocks.

 “One moment, please.”

 Indeed, a few seconds later, the door opens to reveal Logan, looking as annoyingly pristine as he always does, surprised to see him.

 “Remus? Did you need something? Why…” he trails off as he takes in what Remus is wearing. “What’s wrong?”

 “Can I come in?”

 “Of—of course,” Logan stammers, moving aside to let him in, “are you alright?”

 “Should be asking you that, Lolo.”

 “Remus, you’ve just knocked, first of all, on my door and asked to come inside.” Logan adjusts his glasses as he sits at his desk. “This is extremely out of character for you.”

 “Uh-huh.” Remus flops onto the bed. “You know what else is out of character?”

 “Not wearing your costume?”

 “Not hearing intrusive thoughts.”

 Logan’s eyes widen. “Has—is there something wrong? Are you not hearing any? Do I need to get Roman?”

 Remus frowns. “Why’s it so easy for you to do that?”

 “Do what?”

 “Care. Try and take care of me.”

 Logan blinks. “Because you deserve to be taken care of, Remus. Your needs are important.”

 Remus idly toys with a loose thread on one sleeve. “Why?”

 “Why? Why are you important?” Remus nods. “Because you’re—you’re an important part of Thomas, you’re important to us, and we care about you.”

 “So it’s easy for you to care for me because…you do?”

 “As simple as that sounds,” Logan says with all the softness that should be directed at himself, “yes.”

 Remus nods. “I’m not having problems with hearing intrusive thoughts.”

 “You’re—you’re not?” Logan sighs, relaxing a little back into his chair. “Then why did you say you were?”

 “Because the thoughts that I am hearing aren’t really what I’d consider intrusive.”

 Logan frowns. “Like what?”

 Glad you fucking asked.

 “‘Take a shower,’” Remus says, his eyes fixed firmly on Logan’s face, “'eat something,’ ‘take a break,’ ‘go to sleep.’”

 He watches Logan’s face tense.

 “Sound familiar, Lolo?”

 “You—I—my apologies,” Logan manages after a moment, adjusting his tie, “I did not mean to be an inconvenience. You are correct, those are not intrusive thoughts, I’m not sure why you’re hearing them.”

 He turns to his desk and begins to fish around for a notebook.

 “That is quite intriguing, I wonder what the possibilities for hearing other types of thoughts are, considering—“

 “Lolo.”

 Logan pauses, turning back. “Yes?”

 Remus fixes him with a look, getting up and walking toward him. “They are intrusive thoughts, Logan. The issue is that your intrusive thoughts are about you taking care of yourself.”

 Logan freezes.

 “W-well, I’m sure that it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

 “So either you can admit that was a lie or Janny’s about to get summoned.”

 “Remus,” Logan sighs, “it’s fine. As you said, these aren’t what are traditionally considered intrusive thoughts, it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

 “No, Lolo, it is,” Remus argues, “because it means that the thought of you taking care of yourself is so foreign, so fucking out of the ordinary that not only does it happen to cross your mind—“ he takes Logan’s chair and spins it around— “but you try to force it out.”

 Gotcha.

 Logan looks anywhere other than Remus’s face and tries to stand. Only to wobble and crash back down.

 “Easy,” Remus says quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, “you haven’t eaten in a while.”

 “But I have work.”

 “But you need food.”

 “Remus—“

 “Logan.”

 At Logan’s honest-to-fuck pout, he sighs, dragging the poor nerd up and out the chair and sitting him on the bed.

 “Why do you think you don’t deserve to be taken care of?”

 “I didn’t say that—hey!” Logan blinks up at him, scandalized and covering his stomach. “Why did you poke me?”

 “’S what I do when Janny won’t tell me the truth.”

 “I wasn’t—okay, okay!” Logan covers his stomach protectively as Remus readies another poke. “I just…I’ve already asked for help for this before. I shouldn’t have to again.”

 Remus sighs and lightly flicks the side of his head.

 “Hey!”

 “Virgil tries that too.” He stares hard at Logan. “Come on, Lolo, you can do better.”

 “It’s not your jobs to take care of me.”

 For fuck’s sake…

 Remus reaches out and tugs gently on Logan’s tie.

 “Remus, what—“

 “You taking more books outta Patton’s library now?” Remus tilts his head. “You don’t have to beat around the bush, Lolo, just be honest.”

 “I am being honest!”

 “You’re not lying, but you’re not being honest.” At the poor nerd’s confusion, he sighs and fixes his glasses on that cute nose. “Just talk to me, Lolo.”

 “I—“ Logan sighs and oh fuck why does he look so tired?

 Well, because he hasn’t been sleeping.

 Or eating.

 Or taking care of himself.

 Unbidden, part of his conversation with Roman flashes into his head.

 “Self-harm can be self-denial too.”

 “Lolo?”

 “It’s bad enough that I’ve made you all worry about me,” Logan says finally, “I would hate to be a burden.”

 Oh, Lolo. “You and Roman, huh?”

 Logan looks up warily. “What do you do with Roman?”

 “You know what I do.”

 Logan sighs. “May at least take my glasses off first?”

 “You might wanna change too, I’m not letting you up for a while.”

 Logan stretches to place his glasses on the nightstand and poofs himself into a t-shirt and boxers. He sighs and opens his arms.

 Remus takes two running steps and tackles the poor nerd onto his bed.

 “Ah!”

 “Am I hurting you?”

 “No, no, just—just a little startled.”

 “Mm.” Remus snuggles closer into Logan, his arms wrapped tightly around him. “So. Wanna try one more time?”

 Logan sighs, deflating them both to the bed. His head lolls to his left, eyes on his open computer screen. Remus follows it, barely suppressing a growl as he stretches his arm out to save whatever’s on screen and shut it.

 “I know what I’m supposed to be doing,” Logan whispers, “I understand the process, I am aware that healing is not a linear concept, I know it’s going to take time, I—I understand.”

 Remus looks down, giving him an encouraging squeeze. “But?”

 “It’s hard,” comes the soft confession.

 Oh, Lolo.

 “I know,” he murmurs, leaning down to hug him properly, “I know, Lolo, I know it’s hard. But you can’t try and do it all yourself, you’ve gotta remember that we’re here for you, we care about you.”

 “But why?”

 Remus smiles and cuddles him tighter. “You said it yourself, Lolo. We care because we do.”

 “O-oh.” He feels Logan’s throat work as he swallows. “Thank you, Remus.”

 “Of course, Lolo. I’m guessing that sinking us to the living room so everyone else can spoil you is a bad idea, right?”

 “Yes.” Finally, finally, he feels Logan shyly tighten his grip on him. “Can we just…stay like this?”

 “Do I have your permission to hold you hostage until you fall asleep?”

 “Yes.”

 “Then go to sleep, Lolo,” Remus murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions

  If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Things We Gained In The Fire pt 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

A Prince In Snake’s Clothing

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1498

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality

Warnings: past child neglect, mild swearing

~~~START~~~

Logan stared at the empty bed in… well it wasn’t quite shock — disappointment maybe. Logan was disappointed.

The sheets were rumpled, so he could be sure that Janus and Virgil were in the bed at some point. But how long ago they left was anyone’s guess.

“Oh...” Patton sighed, visibly deflating. “I guess they won’t want the pancakes then…”

“No… I suppose not,” Logan answered.

“You’re both dumb,” Remus said suddenly, pushing past Logan into the room.

“Excuse me?” Logan asked as Remus sauntered up to the bed, then dropped to his hands and knees to look under it.

After a moment Remus seemed satisfied that whatever he was checking for wasn’t there and he came back up.

“How old are Virgil and Janus?” He asked instead of explaining himself.

“I’d say Virgil was about three or four, and Janus was seven or eight… why?”

“So, you think a toddler and a seven-year-old snuck out of the castle with a duvet and a stack of pillows?”

Logan glanced back at the bed, for the first time realizing that the bedding was neither on the bed, nor strewn about the floor around it. Patton gasped beside him, catching onto Remus’s point much quicker than the King.

“You think they’re still here?” Patton asked hopefully.

“Well, they weren’t under the bed,” Remus said, his eyes darting over to the closet door. “But I have a hunch on where else they might have gone.”

Logan watched skeptically (Remus was much more in-tune with children than Logan was, but he still saw no reason for them to be hiding in a closet) as Remus carefully approached the closet. Remus stood in front of the door for a moment, as if considering how to proceed, before dropping all pretense and knocking in the rhythm of a popular children’s song.

They all held their breath for a moment, then a knocking came from the other side, finishing the song.

Remus grinned and threw the door open, revealing a giggling Virgil sitting on the stomach of a sleeping Janus, the pillows and comforter forming a kind of nest around them.

“Hello!” Virgil chirped. “I’m Virgil! Can you spare a penny, I’m hungry!”

Remus looked slightly taken aback at that, but reached into his pocket, pulled out a dime, and handed it to Virgil without any hesitation.

“Thank you!” Virgil beamed, stuffing the coin into his own pocket.

“Virgil,” Patton called, gaining the excited toddler’s attention. “If you’re hungry, I made some breakfast!”

Virgil’s eyes got wide when he saw the cart of food Patton had with him. He started to stand, but then seemed to remember Janus, who was still asleep.

“Up!” Virgil ordered the sleeping child, batting his face with a pudgy hand. “Jan up!”

Janus’s face scrunched up, but he didn’t open his eyes. “‘M sleeping Elly,” he mumbled.

“Jan up!” Virgil insisted again, this time standing up before abruptly dropping his weight onto Janus’s stomach.

“Oof!” Janus’s eyes flew open as he instinctively curled around his stomach, and subsequently, around Virgil.

“Jan up!”

“Virgil,” Logan said gently, approaching the closet, careful not to block the doorway too much. “I think we could have tried a gentler approach to waking Janus up.”

Janus let out a startled hiss and wrapped his arms protectively around Virgil as he had the previous night. Virgil, however, didn’t seem the least bit bothered as he grinned up at Logan.

“Jan up!” Virgil informed him happily.

“Yes,” Logan chucked. “I can see that. Good morning, Janus, we have some breakfast for you.”

Janus hissed halfheartedly at Logan, but allowed Virgil to drag him up and over to where Patton had two trays of pancakes ready for them.

“Do you like it?” Patton asked as the kids started to dig in. Virgil nodded enthusiastically; Janus shrugged, but Logan was fairly certain he liked it too from the way he was stuffing his mouth. “I’m glad! Okay, well I have to get back to work; lots of mouths to feed and all that!”

Patton placed a kiss on the tops of both children’s heads — which Janus made a face at, but he didn’t comment — before dancing over to Logan to place a kiss on his cheek.

“By the way I told Roman that you’d be busy today and he has everything under control so you don’t need to worry about a thing! And Remus, don’t teach the kids any swear words,” he warned sternly as he hugged his brother-in-law.

“I know swear words,” Janus said petulantly.

“Fuck!” Virgil declared proudly, causing everyone to freeze for a moment. Virgil didn’t seem to notice and went back to munching happily on his pancakes.

“I didn’t teach him that!” Janus defended himself quickly.

“We’re so keeping them,” Remus whispered.

“…okay, um, bye everybody!” And Patton was out the door.

Logan’s stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten his own breakfast yet. He grabbed his own dish as well as Remus’s from the tray and carried them over to his old desk, giving the children some space as they ate.

Janus continued to send Logan and Remus suspicious glances throughout the meal. He would probably stop doing that given time. Logan’s thoughts strayed back to Remus’s comments; maybe they could keep the children, they certainly had both the space and the means — not to mention that Logan was already quite fond of them…

“I was thinking,” Logan started. Janus’s eyes cut sharply to him, causing Logan to rethink bringing it up so soon. “Ehm, I was thinking that there are probably some old clothes in here that might fit the two of you. And perhaps a bath is in order.”

Janus’s eyes narrowed at the suggestion, but when Virgil bumped against the serving cart, knocking over a small pitcher of syrup, the bath became inevitable.

Virgil enjoyed the bath immensely, the warm water, the soap bubbles, even having his hair washed. Janus, on the other hand, was stubborn as ever.

He had tried to refuse the bath altogether despite the fact that he had syrup in his hair, and when Virgil had finally pouted him into submission, he got into the tub fully dressed (though Logan did not mind this fact much, however Janus was comfortable was fine with him). For the most part, he’d sat curled in a tight ball in the water, but when Logan offered to wash his hair for him, he sprang into action, washing his hair for himself. And every time Logan asked about the hygiene habits of nagas, he’d simply hiss until Logan stopped asking.

After the bath, both boys were toweled off and given a couple sets of Logan’s old play clothes to change into. Despite the play clothes being considerably more casual than Logan’s childhood dress clothes, they made both boys look like small princes. And with all the dirt and soot washed away, it became clear that Virgil’s hair was not dark brown, but more of a honey-brown; Janus’s hair was a shiny golden-blond, and his scales were an even more brilliant color than they had first seemed.

“And you’re sure it’s alright for us to wear these?” Janus asked warily, tugging at the expensive fabric.

“Of course I am sure,” Logan replied. “These clothes have not been worn in many years, no one shall be missing them.”

“COIN!” Virgil yelled as Remus leaned down to pick up the discarded clothing.

Remus startled for a moment before catching up to the situation. “Of course,” he smiled, pulling the nickel out of the pocket of Virgil’s old rags and handing it once more to the toddler. “It’s all yours.”

Virgil nodded, satisfied, and stuffed the coin into his new pocket.

The rest of the day was spent showing the children around the Royal Suite and making them comfortable with their temporary living space. Patton sent them food at every meal, but his duties as head cook kept him from visiting them in person.

At the end of the day, Logan and Remus tucked the boys into bed — Janus insisted on sleeping in the closet for reason that Logan truly could not fathom, and Virgil insisted on staying with Janus, but they at least allowed Logan to gather up some extra pillows and comforters to cushion the hard stone floor — assured them that they would be just down the hall, and left for their own room.

“I like being a dad,” Remus said as he and his husband got ready for bed. He stripped his shirt and pants, but kept his underwear and undershirt, just in case the kids came in during the night.

“We are not fathers,” Logan corrected. “This is a temporary living situation.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, your highness,” Remus rolled his eyes. “But I know you have a soft spot for them already.”

Logan did not reply, but it was true. He was rather fond of the two boys. He would miss them when they left...

~~~END~~~

Lol sorry this took so long, this chapter didn’t want to be written

TWGITF taglist

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @imma-potatoo @knight-shives

[trickster-tabby]

A Start Of Family

During a conversation with Thomas, Logan asks Patton to give him a checkup since he's a doctor. When he does, Patton finds something that means big news for Logan.

ALTERNATE TIMELINE, PRE-AA, NOT CANON TO MY AU BUT SET IN IT

Pairing: intrulogical

Warnings: throwing up, medical concerns, pregnancy, outing a trans man(I guess? They knew he was male but thought he was cis and this is how they found out he wasn't)

Logan was snuggled against Remus after a long day, groaning as he heard Thomas call his name.

"Thomas is calling me, I gotta go..."

Remus kissed his hair, smiling. "Alright, you go on then. Oh, and ask Patton to check you while you're there, okay?"

Logan stood up, shifting his clothes to his shirt and tie. "I will. See you later, hon."

"I'll probably be in bed. See you."

With that, Logan sank out.

---

"Apologies for taking so long to appear, Thomas, I was a bit busy."

Thomas waved his hand. "No, you're good!"

Anxiety was standing on the stairs, hunched over with his hands in his pockets. "Alright, what do you want this time."

As Thomas began explaining why he called the sides, Logan's vision slowly went blurry, and he felt his stomach tightening. He was about to throw up... Again.

He tried to subtly cover his mouth and force it back down, but of course Thomas noticed.

"Logan, you okay there?"

Logan nodded, which made him feel worse. He squeezed his eyes shut, slowly and carefully shaking his head "no". He swallowed forcefully, clearing his throat.

"To be honest, that is the only reason I didn't give an excuse to stay home. Patton?"

Patton hummed, signaling he was listening.

"You are a doctor, correct?" Logan wrapped his arms around himself, internally begging his body to just let him talk.

"Yes, I am... Why?"

Logan took a deep breath. "I have some... Concerns, and I wanted to ask if you would give me a checkup?"

Patton gave a soft smile, summoning a small backpack. "Of course, should we do it here or go home?"

"Here's fine... Urp!" Logan suddenly doubled over, before turning and rushing into the bathroom.

---

Logan walked out of the bathroom, leaning against the wall with a groan. He looked to the couch, where everyone was sitting.

"Sorry you had to hear that."

Roman shook his head. "No, Logan, it's fine. Not like you could help it."

Logan nodded, before going over to Patton and sitting next to him.

Patton pulled a stethoscope from his bag. "So, other than the vomiting, are there any other concerns?"

Logan sighed, still cringing from the horrid taste in his mouth.

"There's... Pressure on my bladder? As if someone was pressing their hand over it. And..." He hesitated. "There's... Not really a way to say this without... Revealing something that I'm... Not entirely ready for you to know."

Anxiety moved to sit next to Logan, taking his hand gently. "You know they won't judge, Lo."

Logan nodded, and took a deep breath. "There's this... Pain? In my... My breasts. It could be from my binder, but I doubt it."

Patton nodded, rubbing the stethoscope on his palm so it wouldn't be too cold for Logan. "And are you comfortable removing your binder in front of us?"

Logan bit his lip, before nodding and undoing his tie. He pulled his shirt off, before tucking his arm into the side of his binder and slipping it over his head.

Patton put the stethoscope in his ears, before placing his hand on Logan's back and the chestpiece of the stethoscope over Logan's heart. "Deep breath in."

Logan did so, and Patton moved the chestpiece. "And out."

Logan breathed out.

Patton did this a few more times, before doing the same on Logan's back.

"Well, your breathing is normal. Now, let me check your stomach."

Logan nodded, giving a worried glance over at Thomas and Roman, relaxing when he saw they weren't staring; instead, they were talking about some movie Logan hadn't seen.

Patton placed the stethoscope on Logan's abdomen, shushing Thomas and Roman, and listening intently.

"...huh. Wait..."

Patton moved the chestpiece and listened harder, which made Logan worry.

"Is... Is everything... Okay, Patton?"

Patton pulled the stethoscope out of his ears. "Well... Good news, I think."

"Patton, what is it?"

"To put it simply, you're going to be a father."

Logan felt nauseous again. "I'm... What?"

"Logan, you're pregnant. I thought I'd need to do a more thorough check, but... There's a second heartbeat."

Logan slowly placed his hand over his stomach.

"I... I need to go talk to Remus."

---

Logan appeared in his living room, looking around for Remus.

"Rem?" he called out.

No response.

"Guess he's asleep."

Logan rushed upstairs and into his room, seeing Remus asleep in the bed.

"Hon, wake up!"

Remus squirmed a bit under the blanket as Logan shook him awake. "What..."

"Remus, I talked to Patton. I... Remus, I'm pregnant."

Remus' eyes shot open. He sat up abruptly, now wide awake. "You're what?!"

Logan was holding back tears. "Patton checked me, and... And he heard another heartbeat, right here." He put his hand over his womb.

Remus tossed the blanket off of himself, standing up and pulling Logan into a hug.

"Okay, Firefly, get your onesie on, we'll cuddle. Don't cry, please don't cry."

Logan nodded as the tears began to escape his eyes.

If all else failed, he knew Remus would always be there to support him.

No matter what.

@sablesides @nerosdayinhell @vellicrow @unknownpupper @boredomrewards @xandriagreat @lord-of-the-frogs @heartwitchhouse @transmanrayner @ghostly-stories @aceumbrellaheroes @bagels-of-chaos @pixelated-pineapple

[sweetea-rosey]

Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

.

.

.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

.

.

.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

.

.

.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

.

.

.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie