#yes the way they do things annoys me sometimes!!

[lexithwrites]

omg I totally agree with the oversexualisation of trans reg!!! I also see the same thing for t4t rosekiller, bartylus, jegulus etc. It's just so annoying that we're "giving rep" but it's all sexualisation. And I feel so bad because I would never want to say anything to offend anyone but sometimes it feels like people are only hc characters as trans ftm is so they can have two people w vaginas having sex while still calling them men.

I really don't know if any of this makes sense and I really don't want to be offensive in any way, but I don't know how to phrase it. I want more rep for trans people but WHY is it all sexualisation.

(side note I'd love some fluffy/angsty hcs for any trans marauders character u have in mind <3)

No I completely agree with you, and trust me SO many ppl on Twitter I know agree as well and get frustrated. I adore trans rep, it’s why I started the OF universe, to explore it in a way I enjoy and find helpful to me, and yes there’s a lot of sex but I try not to make it uncomfortable, but sometimes it does come across as ppl wanting James to sleep with someone with a vagina without them being a woman lmao, that’s not for every trans rep tho, some can be lovely and it’s great to read, but reg specifically can be written as a plaything and it feels so sexualised for no reason…ANYWAY never feel worried about sharing your opinions with me, I’m always down for conversations like this!

And hcs of course! Trans Sirius has my heart, especially if they’re genderfluid or nonbinary, I love writing them finding their style and using whatever pronouns they want, I just feel like they’re v androgynous no matter what and love changing their style just bc it’s what they love doing, not to fit in! Also ftm Remus has my heart, growing up with supporting parents like Lyall and Hope UGH they’d be so helpful with his transition! Also nonbinary Marlene my angel!! She’s v butch lesbian to me but also I can see she/they for her, like testing out their masculinity and exploring it with Mary or Dorcas (I can never really choose between them I love both couples) at their side

[strawberrykuro]

Heyyyy, what do you think the seraphim WHB were like as children?? Have they always had hostility towards each other? ..maybe you have some headcanons about this? :D

Seraphim childhood

Hey Anon! I'm sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy this. 💗

Warning: could be ooc, slight angst, could be some misspellings, few mentions of Lucifer before he fell

I don’t think they were particularly hostile to each other when they were younger, it was more of a sibling rivalry between them, and from an outsider's perspective their relationship with each other seemed perfectly fine, it isn’t like they would try to kill each other one day! Haha… (how they were so wrong)

In front of god, they acted like 3 perfect little angels that could do no harm or wrong. Luci tho, knew that they weren’t perfect and it was only when god wasn’t looking, sometimes he would watch them have little arguments over the tiniest of things and he couldn’t lie that he found it adorable in an odd way. There was much more beyond their imagination, so much they had yet to see with their own eyes, and yet… they were fighting over which fruit would win if they were sentient and could fight. (Every time Luci eats any fruit, he thinks of that argument.)

— for each of them individually tho

Before there were 4 seraphim, it was only Michael and Lucifer. Michael spent most of his time with him, as he was like a second parent when God was attending to other matters. The amount of respect and love for his older brother was unexplainable in words; all of his knowledge came from Lucifer, and he’d use it all he knew to hopefully impress him.

When his two younger brothers were created, Michael just looked so confused at his reaction to the news. A new brother? And two of them? Why? Isn’t he and Lucifer enough? Isn’t he enough? What’s so special about these two? After a bit of resharing and some quality time spent together, he gradually got used to it. (Wasn’t always happy about it tho… (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ) )

On a lighter note, Micha trying to take care of a young Raphael and Gabriel is funny to me. Consistently having to keep an eye on Raphael because once he took his eye off of him, suddenly Raphael was trying to eat dirt; a cake-shaped dirt cake. Creative? Yes. Healthy? Hell no.

Gabriel on the other hand was cleaner but is the most annoying piece of shit little brother ever. Like it was on sight the moment they made eye contact with each other, these two would do anything to outdo each other, a truly extreme brother rivalry.

— now for the middle

Raphael has always been an odd case. He was quiet as a child but got into the most trouble. Sometimes it seems like he’s looking for someone, and he was, he missed God, and he wanted to be with his father. Whenever he did find him, Raphael would latch onto his leg, hugging him dearly but it didn't seem like God would fully reciprocate that affection.

God would just sigh and murmur to himself on how Raphael escaped again and why no one was properly watching him. It always ends with God picking him up and carrying him all the back, it was like a kid pretending to be asleep so their parent would carry them to bed.

His relationship with his brother is very indifferent, while Gabriel and Raphael have a very obvious hatred toward each other, with Raphael it is more of an annoyance but tolerable. When Raphael was younger, he was a light teaser from here and there, cracking a few jokes on how Michael is such a perfectionist taking so many hours to get dressed, or Gabriel is such a suck-up to God to the point it's embarrassing to watch.

Just middle brother things <3

— and last but not least, the youngest

Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. The one that his brothers would consider a “tattletale,” “brat,” and anything else under the sun. The way this child could flip a switch too quickly depending on who is in the room is laughable.

He wasn’t God's favorite, but he was the one who got God's attention whenever he wanted, which was 24/7. It wasn’t all bad, God did enjoy it when Gabriel would get curious about something and ask him about his creation. They would sit down as God rambled and Gabriel happily listened.

This ends with… Gabriel "slightly" bragging, but in a specific way. It is common knowledge among the brothers that Gabriel likes to do a prayer before he sleeps, and sometimes these prayers have a twist in the way he words them. They start normally like usual with thanking god and praising him but then you notice him going “Thank you for trusting me the most” or “loving my singing the most” etc.

Michael hits him with a pillow or tries to suffocate him, whatever shuts him up quicker. Raphael is already asleep so he never notices this. (Gabriel stopped this behavior when he got older.)

[morningsharksworld]

Hello am back it's me the muzzle anon (what a name) , I just had a thought that it could be cause he BITES, I need to know if you think he would be a biter, and reader is just like 🤨 down boy or I'll muzzle you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😋

Be careful, he BITES

A/N: Yeah I am calling you muzzle anon now 🫵😐, but GOD now I’m feral for this so have both headcannon and a Drabble :].

Where He Bites You

- Hazard’s favorite spots remain your shoulders, arms, and neck. If he’s feeling adventurous and cheeky he would leave love bites around your collar bone or your thighs.

Why He Does It

- Hazard still bites you to tease, mark his affection, or just because he enjoys the reaction. His explanations are always dripping with playful smugness.

- “Och, dinnae look at me like that. Yer shoulder’s right there—how am I supposed tae resist, eh?”

Your Reaction

- After one too many surprise nips, you hit your limit. “Hazard, I swear to god if you bite me again, I’ll put a muzzle on you.”

- He stops mid-chomp, looking at you like you’ve just declared war. “A muzzle? Sweet Pea, ye think a wee muzzle can stop me? I’d chew right through it faster than ye can blink.”

- When you pull out an actual muzzle to prove your point, he dramatically stumbles backward. “Ach, yer serious? Ye’re crueler than I thought! This is abuse!”

His Mischief Intensifies

- After you threaten him, he makes a game out of sneaking in quick bites and dodging away before you can retaliate. “Gotta be faster than that, darlin’! Ye’ve nae chance o’ catchin’ me!”

- Sometimes, when you’re really annoyed, he’ll lean in with a grin, exposing his teeth dramatically. “C’mon now, gie us a nibble—it’s a love bite!”

Moments of Softness

- On quiet nights when the teasing stops, Hazard’s nips turn into softer gestures of affection. After a tough day, he gently bites your shoulder and murmurs, “Ye know I love ye, aye? Even if I’m a wee menace sometimes.”

- You can’t stay mad at him when he’s like that, even if you secretly start planning new ways to outwit him the next time he gets bitey.

- Despite his antics, Hazard’s bites become something you associate with his unique brand of love, though you still keep the muzzle nearby just in case.

The first time Hazard bit you, it caught you completely off guard. You’d been leaning against the counter, minding your own business, when he snuck up behind you and nipped your shoulder.

“Hazard!” you yelped, spinning around to glare at him.

He just grinned, leaning against the doorframe like he hadn’t just assaulted you with his teeth. “Och, relax, lass. It’s just a wee nibble. Ye’ll survive.”

You frowned, rubbing your shoulder. “A wee nibble? What are you, a dog?”

“Dogs dinnae have such fine taste” he shot back, smirking as he sauntered off, leaving you fuming.

After that, the biting became a regular thing. At first, it was annoying—Hazard seemed to take great pleasure in catching you off guard. If you were distracted, you could bet he’d sneak in a quick bite on your shoulder, arm, or sometimes your neck.

One time, you’d been engrossed in your book, and he’d leaned over the back of the couch to nip your ear. You’d jumped so high you nearly threw the book across the room.

“HAZARD!” you shrieked.

He laughed, clutching his stomach. “Ye should’ve seen yer face! Priceless!”

“It’s not funny!”

“Aye, it is” he said, grinning like the devil himself. “I should do it again, just tae see if ye can jump higher.”

But as much as it annoyed you, there were moments when the biting felt… softer. When he was tired or stressed, the bites would lose their mischievous edge, becoming gentle and almost comforting. Like the time he’d come back from a particularly rough day, flopping onto the couch beside you and resting his head on your shoulder. Without a word, he’d lightly nipped your neck, letting out a heavy sigh.

“You okay?” you’d asked quietly.

“Aye” he mumbled, his voice low. “Jist needed tae remind meself ye’re here.”

Those moments made it harder to stay mad at him.

But tonight? Tonight was the last straw.

You were in the middle of making dinner for the Phreaks when you felt the all-too-familiar nip on your shoulder. You froze, setting the knife down with deliberate care before turning to face him.

“Hazard” you said, your voice calm but dangerous. “If you bite me one more time, I swear to God, I’ll put a muzzle on you.”

He blinked, then burst out laughing, doubling over and clutching his sides. “A muzzle? Ye’re jokin’, right? Ye think a wee thing like that can stop me? I’d chew right through it faster than ye can blink.”

You didn’t respond, just reached into the drawer and pulled out the surprise you’d been saving for this exact moment: a dog muzzle.

Hazard’s laughter stopped instantly. He stared at the muzzle, his eyes wide. “Ach, ye’re serious? Ye’ve gone full mental!”

“I warned you” you said, holding it up like a trophy.

He stumbled back dramatically, clutching his chest. “This is abuse! I’m your boyfriend, not your bloody pet!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

His pout was almost convincing. “Ye’d really dae this tae me? Me, your beloved Hazard? The man who—”

“Who bites me like a feral animal? Yeah, I would.”

For the rest of the night, he avoided you like the plague, muttering under his breath about betrayal. But of course, it didn’t last. The next morning, he was back to his old tricks, sneaking a quick bite to your arm and darting away before you could react.

“Gotta be faster than that, darlin’!” he called over his shoulder, his laughter echoing down the hall.

You sighed, shaking your head with a mix of exasperation and fondness. “One day, Hazard. One day.”

But deep down, you knew you wouldn’t have him any other way.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

the one time my show's (not mine but yk very small fandom) tag is actually used and it's for ridicule and discourse. now that stuff will be the only stuff you can see :/

[fluentisonus]

working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[goobygnarp]

.

[sobredunia]

Do I really have to make myself breaking-down-sobbing miserable over not doing something every single time I am not perfectly productive for you to believe that I have a disability that disables me from being perfectly productive

[takeyourdailydoseofcyanide]

asking for help always makes things worse

[hum--hallelujah]

don't want to kill time like it doesn't matter - 3.5k words, (platonic) funkobra hurt/comfort

---

Ghoul is actually younger than Kobra. They always forget it though.

At least, they usually do.

Kobra's stopped shooting upright and reaching for his blaster whenever someone wakes him up at night. Stopped two years ago, honestly, when him and Ghoul started sharing a room. That was a collective decision that is very much not discussed. It left the old office as a perfect room for the Girl, in the end. Between Ghoulie and Girlie, the former of whom has wild, sleepless tendencies and the latter liking to scramble her way into bed with somebody else every other night of the week, Kobra's knee-jerk reaction has become more of a lack of reaction.

"Yo," hisses a pitchy voice. It's dead daylight, the heat of the day. This is the time of the year when you sleep while the sun's up, wait until the darkness falls to do anything or else it's too miserable or too dangerous. "Kobes."

Kobra utters a verbose "Hrrmngg?" and rolls over. He cracks an eye open to see Ghoul standing at the end of his bed. If it hadn't been light out, he'd be doing a good job of living up to his name. His hands are shaking, but when aren't they?

"You good, man?" Kobra asks groggily. He's half awake, half asleep, drifting in between the two states of being. Ghoul is shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. It makes the floor creak. It makes him look even smaller than he is. "Ghoulie?" He mumbles again when he gets no reply.

Ghoul makes a noncommittal half-whispered sound. "Wanna go for a joyride?" He asks instead of an answer.

Kobra blinks himself more fully awake and pushes up on one elbow. "Mirage or the 'Am?"

Ghoulie shrugs. Won't meet his eyes. Oh shit, that's not good. Something's got him worked up. It's too late for this. This is why they share a room now. They didn't used to, but Kobra refuses to let him sleep alone anymore. Kobra knows how he got that wicked scar that runs from the corner of his mouth nearly to his eye.

"Either," Ghoul says. "Doesn't matter much to me."

"Mirage," Kobra decides. He'll never say no to a late-night joyride. Not this kind. Party'll have his neck for sneaking out on the bike without letting anyone know, but the 'Am is too conspicuous when strange crews are out and from the look of him, riding double on the motorcycle will be good for Ghoul.

It's still too hot to be out. But going for a spin won't take too much exertion, getting to someplace with shade, so long as it's away from here, won't take too long. Ghoul's gonna get sunscorched. Maybe that's the point. While Kobra covers up with his jacket, Ghoul is still in the loose, half-covering clothes he sleeps in.

The sun glints painfully off the sand when they climb quietly out the window. No reason trying to get past Party when they've got an exit right here. Ghoul clambers out first with a probably accidental but surprisingly graceful roll and then flinches, violently, when Kobra jacket catches on what's left of the glass in the window and he tumbles haphazardly to the ground. They both hold still for a long dozen seconds, Kobra staring at the diner wall and straining to tell if anyone heard them, and Ghoul staring at Kobra and shaking.

When Party doesn't come along, eyes glinting with annoyed amusement, and yell at them for sneaking out, Kobra sits up and checks the hem of his jacket where it caught on the sharp edge. "Great," he mutters when he sees the tear in the lining. He'll have to sew that back together later. "Ghoul, you good?"

Ghoul shrugs and stands up. "Aren't I always?"

"No."

They stare at each other for a few seconds while Kobra rubs his palms together to clear the sand off them and reaches into his pocket for his gloves. "You're wearing a helmet," he says flatly.

Ghoul rolls his eyes and sneers. It crinkles the scar running up his face. "No way."

"Fine." Kobra doesn't push. Half the time he doesn't even wear his helmet. He's the driver. He'll keep them safe. It was worth a try, though. "Come on."

The heavy bay door of the garage makes too much noise to open without being caught. They slip in the side door and Kobra brings Mirage carefully back through it. He wears a helmet this time. Ghoul stands and waits, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, while Kobra starts the bike and, out of habit, does a couple checks.

"You ready?" Kobra says, with the visor of his helmet flipped up.

Ghoul grins, but it's lacking in heart. So often, Kobra thinks he's not all there. So often, Kobra thinks this is his best friend. "Born that way," he replies.

"Come on then," Kobra says and nods for Ghoul to get on the bike with him. "Hey, hey. Hey, Ghoulie-" he says, when Ghoul is standing right at his shoulder, about to throw a leg over Mirage and climb on. "You okay?" He asks again, because he needs to know how safe any of this is.

Ghoul doesn't respond. Just settles himself behind Kobra and wraps his arms, tight, around Kobra's middle. Kobra stays there a second, until he's sure Ghoul's grip is solid, so that he can feel Ghoul breathing against his back, before he kicks off. He doesn't care if Party and Jet wake up now, they won't catch them. The bike's tires kick up a fountain of sand as he spins a loop, leaning into the turn until Mirage tilts close enough to the ground that Kobra could touch the sand if he reached out. Ghoul asked for a joyride. This is that.

"What the hell, man?!" Ghoul yells over Kobra's shoulder, muffled by the engine noise and his helmet. Kobra feels Ghoul's hands grab at the fabric of his shirt as he pulls around the first turn, bringing them around the back of a sand dune at full speed.

"Trust me?" Kobra shouts back. He's getting into it now, relaxing into each wide, showy swerve and fishtail. He slows down just a bit when he can feel Ghoul's fingernails start to bite into his skin. It makes him edgy when Ghoul is like this.

Ghoul sniffs sharply. "Well, yeah, but I've seen you crash out enough times at the track-"

"Aw, shut up," Kobra snaps back, without venom. Ghoul's his mechanic. He's seen his best wins and worst losses. "Where you wanna go?" He asks, after a few random turns, just drifting around in the sand. Ghoul is quiet. Kobra reaches back with one hand and smacks him on the leg after awhile. "Ghoulie, where we goin'?"

"I'm thinki-" Ghoul cuts himself off and when he speaks again his voice is flat and so quiet Kobra has to strain to hear him. "Turn right up here."

There's the remains of a road cutting across their path and Kobra hops Mirage up onto it, swings right and follows the pavement. Ghoul's grip around his chest has loosened, but Kobra can feel the fast, shallow rhythm of his breathing and the shaking of his hands even still. The road goes on for ages, long enough that it starts to feel infinite. This must have been a highway, back before the wars and BL/ind. At some point, Ghoul leans forward and puts his forehead against the back of Kobra's neck. Kobra can feel him pressed just below where his helmet sits.

"Get off at this turn," Ghoul mumbles suddenly, but not soon enough because Kobra completely overshoots the exit. He flips around the empty lanes of the highway, admittedly showing off mostly just to make himself feel better.

The group of buildings along the former highway off-ramp isn't really a ghost town. It's a cluster of old stores and restaurants, like the diner but mass produced, and down at the end is an ancient truck stop and gas station. Kobra slows the bike to a crawl as they drive down the street, struck with an eerie sense of deja vu. He's been here before. They both have.

He pulls over and stops in the middle of the road, beside what used to be a coffee store. Coffee is usually made in the form of compressed, dried out shots now, called Motor Juice in the Zones when rehydrated. They don't have coffeeshops in the City. They have prescriptions.

Ghoul is off the bike and Kobra's back suddenly cold even under the heat of the sun before Mirage even comes to a full stop. "Ghoul-" Kobra snaps, angry for reasons he can't even say and unsettled in ways he doesn't want to. This is a ghost town. Just not in the normal way. "Ghoul. What are you-"

But Ghoul is walking away, his back to Kobra and the bike as he moves toward the gas station as if it's a magnet and he's the blade of a knife, trembling so hard with the pull that it might break. Kobra hesitates, then swings his leg over Mirage and bumps out the kickstand. Ghoul is standing stock still, or as still as he can, on the faded pavement of the gas station parking lot. Kobra's glad it's faded. He doesn't want to see the bloodstains.

Ghoul looks small as he approaches, absolutely miniscule. He's got his arms wrapped tight around himself and Kobra can hear the harshness of his breathing even from several strides away. He doesn't want to get too close too fast. Ghoul's enough like a wild animal that it could turn out badly, and Kobra for once really doesn't want to fight him today. Not out here, at least.

They're within two years of each other, Kobra and Ghoul. They usually forget they're not the same age. But right now Ghoul looks so small and so, so young and Kobra doesn't know what to do.

"Gh- Ghoul. Ghoulie." Kobra calls carefully, stumbling over his tongue. He clamps his teeth together, takes a deep breath. "Ghoul."

Ghoul doesn't turn, doesn't look away from the door into the gas station he'd been found in, back when Kobra and Poison and Jet were a crew of three and Ghoul'd been even more feral than he is now. The gas station where Ghoul watched his entire family die and he was helpless to do anything about it. He still thinks he hadn't done enough. Kobra knows that. Ghoul always thinks he didn't do enough. That one kid with a blaster and wild eyes could take down a full squad of Dracs and two Crows.

Kobra doesn't know how to tell him that if he'd tried, he would be dead too. Kobra doesn't know how to tell him he's glad he didn't. When it comes down to it most, Kobra finds he can't speak.

"Ghoulie," he says again. "Hey. Hey." He moves closer, pulls off the helmet he'd almost forgotten he still has on. "Ghoul," he tries, one more time, as gently as he knows how even though it's not that gentle. He's never been good at this. Some of the scars scattered across Ghoul's body are from him. But Kobra had stitched up Ghoul's face and he's not going to give up now.

Ghoul finally turns and Kobra breathes a sigh of relief. Just a response. Proof of life even though he's still standing. And then Ghoul steps toward him and suddenly he's right there, shaking but otherwise just as eerily still as this entire place, like he's trapped in frozen time just like the rest of it, and he collides with Kobra's chest in a way that's both surprising and yet entirely expected.

"Oh." Kobra drops his helmet, dangling from one hand, and his arms hover uncertainly in the air for a moment before he carefully closes them around Ghoul. "Oh. Okay. Okay." He says quietly, startled, but not really. He'd felt the way Ghoul was holding onto him as they rode Mirage all the way out here.

Ghoul unfolds his arms from around himself and grabs onto the unzipped sides of Kobra's jacket. He doesn't cry, not out loud at least. He's just shaking, so much, and so, so small. Kobra's not good with words. He's even worse with them under pressure. Anything Jet or Party could say to make it better, that kind of stuff gets stuck on his tongue when Kobra tries to say it. So he doesn't. He just holds on.

"You plan on coming here?" Kobra asks eventually, even though he has a feeling the answer is no. Unless it's an engine or a bomb, Ghoul never really plans on much. Ghoul shakes his head, hair scrubbing against Kobra's shoulder and neck where his head's pressed. "You wanna... y'wanna go inside?" He asks then, against his better judgment. But then again, he's never been known for that, has he.

Ghoul tenses, but it momentarily stops the shaking. "Can we?"

Kobra huffs. "Nobody stoppin' us, and even if there were, we'd do it anyway, wouldn't we?"

Ghoul pries his fingers from their hold on Kobra's jacket and turns back toward the station. "Should we?"

"Dunno." Part of him thinks it might help. Part of him remembers exactly what happened the last time they were here. It's the Killjoy way to call death ghosting. It means some part of you lives on even when you're gone. There's a lot of ghosts in this pavement. "It's your-"

He can't think of what word goes there. Choice. Past. Grief. Place. So he stops talking. He shrugs, bends to pick up his helmet. "I can." He sucks a breath through his teeth. He's going to say it again. "I can... I can go with you. If you," he shrugs one shoulder again. "If you, uh, want to. I'm not- I'm not trying to force you," he adds, like it needs to be said. "It's your... yours."

Because that's all that really can be said. This place, the place that made Fun Ghoul what he is. The journey, however brief, that brought them here. Even, kinda, Kobra himself. It's all for Ghoul, here and now. Kobra drove, but he's just along for the ride. Weird how that happens.

Ghoul steps toward the station. Magnetism, again. And Kobra follows, because how could he not. He feels sick at the though of letting his friend go in that place alone.

The doors are gone. Shot out years ago. It looks to Kobra exactly as it did back then, but Ghoul probably remembers better. There are shelves toppled and glass and plastic broken all over the floor. Whatever hasn't been scavenged is broken and shattered. Ghoul walks toward the back of the store, the corner that's not so much a mess. Kobra stays back a bit, trying to give his friend space.

It's where they found Ghoul. Or, where Pois had found him. Ghoul was half in shock, terrified and scarred and fighting, and Party was the first one of their then three-strong group to notice the dark shape watching them hopelessly trawl the carnage for any survivors. It took Pois physically restraining the much smaller kid to keep Ghoul from going for all of their throats.

Kobra has a lot of bad memories of Ghoul. None are as bad as remembering the way he'd screamed when they first met.

"Y'okay?" Kobra asks after a while.

Ghoul has his moments. They all do. Sometimes, you wake up bad in the night and it's hard to pick yourself up. Sometimes you just gotta hit the bottom before you even can. But Ghoul's a fighter. "Yeah," he says, walking back and forth between fallen shelves once stocked with food and stupid trinkets. He crouches to pick up the shattered remnants of something once made of colorful glass and when he looks back over his shoulder at Kobra, he doesn't seem quite as small.

"'M sorry," Kobra mumbles, not knowing what to say now. Somehow, the shaking and the touch are so much easier than having to talk about it. He's never been the talker. That's Party. And he knows his brother regrets not getting there — here — sooner that day, but there's a sick, selfish part of Kobra that's too glad to have Ghoul to want anything different. But really, it's all he can say. If there's remnants of bones that haven't been carried away by carrion-eaters, he doesn't want to see it.

Ghoul slowly stands up from his spot on the floor, staring intently at the broken knick-knack in his palm. It might have been a glass teddy bear, once, something a parent might grab up for a child waiting at home. It's partially shattered, though. Half of its cartoonish smiling face is gone. The heart shape it once held in its paws is cracked down the middle. Kobra isn't great with metaphors, but this is pretty fucking obvious.

"I didn't save them," Ghoul says quietly, his voice grating through the charged, silent air. "I didn't save her."

Something clicks into place. They all know that the crew he lost was Ghoul's real actual biological family. He's a sandpup. He was born and raised in the Zones. He doesn't talk about it much. Kobra's shocked he even came back here, let alone with anyone else. Ghoul doesn't talk about his family, but they've all figured for a while that he had a sibling. You can see it in how he treats the Girl.

"Your sister," Kobra says. It doesn't sound like so much of a question when he says it out loud, but he knows Ghoul will understand it as one.

Ghoul nods. "Yeah." He steps over some toppled displays, sun-bleached ads that used to be bright colored, and slips the shiny piece of broken glass into one of Kobra's pockets since he doesn't have any of his own. Kobra can already see the sunburn forming on his friend's shoulders and the tops of his knees. "She was like, eight."

That's all the more he says about it, but Kobra slips his hand into the pocket and runs his fingers over the broken glass toy still warm from Ghoul's hands, and hears the years of grief and bitterness in the few words. Ghoul's more talky than he is, but he's cagey, too. Kobra can hear him, though. He gets it. Doesn't mean he knows what to say, though.

"Shit," he spits. He wants to say I'm sorry again, but that feels fuckin cheap. He wants to say stop beating yourself up about it, but that sounds even stupider. "Fuck." Sometimes that's all he can say.

"Yeah," Ghoul replies. "Fuckin shit."

"Exactly," Kobra agrees, fiercely relieved that Ghoul gets all the shit he's trying to say. "Hey, uh. Y'know I'm-" He stumbles over the words, cringes at himself for the inability to get past a stupid two-letter word. "I'm glad I know you." He manages, as selfish as it sounds standing here in the ghosted wreckage where Ghoul's family was killed. But if that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be here now. They wouldn't be friends. And Kobra needs Ghoul to know he's glad that any suicide run to save his family failed. The pain sucks, but he's grateful for the outcome. He hopes Ghoul can understand that.

Ghoul doesn't reply. His acid green eyes bore straight into Kobra's for a few seconds while Kobra's heart hammers in his chest. Then he kicks at some dust and looks at the floor and shrugs. "Let's go, man. I don't wanna stay here."

"M'kay."

Kobra's almost tempted to reach out as they walk back out into the glaring sun, grab onto Ghoul like he's a ghost, too, and the light might evaporate him. But he doesn't. He can't.

He thinks the feeling of Ghoul hanging onto him as he steers Mirage away, back up the ramp to the road they came down in the first place, will make him feel better. It doesn't. Ghoul holds on much looser than he had on the way here, and it makes Kobra nervous. He wonders if he should have made him wear a helmet, and steers more carefully around the turns.

And then Ghoul adjusts his seat and throws one arm up over Kobra's shoulder, loosely hooking around his neck. He leans up forward and shouts, "C'mon, Kobes, let's play with it!" Like he's itching for the risk that a couple hours ago had had him holding on for dear life. Kobra's used to thinking his best friend isn't all there. But he's also familiar with the times he is. Sometimes, he forgets they're not the same age because Ghoul is so larger than life.

He tips his head to the side in acknowledgement, and punches the throttle. He even pulls a couple of tight, quick loops. He can't slide on the pavement the way he would on sand, but he can catch a little air when there's a thermal bump in the highway. Ghoul clutches onto him, but it's not scared. Something's cleared up in the gas station. Maybe it was closure. Hell if Kobra knows.

When they pull Mirage off the highway and the diner finally comes back into view, just a small glint of signage, Kobra slows his pace and can feel Ghoul sigh more than he can hear it. His friend's arms stay firmly around him. "Hey, Kobes?" Ghoul says, just barely loud enough to be heard over the engine.

"Yeah?" Kobra says, a bit louder to be heard past his helmet.

Ghoul hesitates, then says in a rush, "I'm glad I know you too. Like, really glad." And then he squeezes Kobra a little tighter for just a second and Kobra can't even say anything in reply. It's been a long night at the wrong time of day. And they're almost home.

[indigodawns]

.

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

spend 3h with one bathroom break studying

the amount that was done is horrific but hey at least the confusing kept me focused

[ilovedthestars]

honestly the biggest Competing Access Needs issue that I personally have run into in online spaces is this:

people need, deserve, and should have space to complain and critique. that includes critiquing things that I (and they!) care about and find valuable, in order to make them better. those conversations are often necessary and healthy, and they should be allowed to happen.

however, I find those kinds of conversations incredibly stressful, often outright upsetting. especially when it involves people I like/respect arguing with or criticizing other people I like/respect. my instinct is to try to mediate and smooth things over and acknowledge the points of both sides, but often that’s either not my place to do or would be actively unhelpful. so I just end up torn in the middle of what feels to me like a barrage of negativity, filled with the unhelpful desire to be like “can’t we just all get along????”

the only and best solution to this is for me to just remove myself from conversations like these, and I’ve gotten better at that, but. It’s still difficult for me to deal with, even though I know that despite my hangups, it’s sometimes better for those conversations to happen than not.

[musical-chick-13]

Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)

[kkujo]

bruabba and fugio are good ships however 80% of the people who post about them are annoying about it. like. same with jotakak and kakyoin stans actually. the way ppl obsess over them and water it down until it's so uwuified and far removed from the source that the characters are just bland and boring. idk where i was going with this