#yes the title is from muppets

[mid-land]

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 10,567

Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot & Martín

Characters: Oswald Cobblepot, Martín Van Dahl, Edward Nygma, Fish Mooney, Gertrud Kapelput, Elijah Van Dahl, Batman (kind of), Butch Gilzean (mentioned)

Summary:

Cold-hearted miser Oswald Cobblepot is visited by four ghosts on Christmas Eve and given a chance to mend his ways.

A Gotham Christmas Carol | Riddlebird Week Day 7: Legacy

[totaled-drama]

I wrote a new fic for those who are interested!! This one is just about Wayne and Raj :)

[betweenstorms]

Alright, hear me out, Simon Riley working for Sleep Token as their head of security.

Let me explain.

His life had always been defined by precision and control, by the kind of discipline that didn’t falter in the face of chaos. But retirement had come swiftly and unceremoniously, a necessity more than a choice. The regimented life of the SAS had ended, leaving him adrift in the civilian world, and that felt far more alien than any hostile territory he’d ever set foot in.

Somehow he found himself in the chaotic underbelly of the entertainment industry, a space filled with the metallic clatter of stagehands, the distant roar of soundchecks, and the pulse of a metal band steadily climbing the ladder to global fucking acclaim. And hell, the stage lights, the screaming crowds, the thrum of bass reverberating through his chest, none of it had ever factored into the life he’d imagined for himself.

But life had a funny way of taking plans and shredding them into something unrecognisable.

Simon still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up here.

When he left the military he thought he’d bury himself in some quiet corner of anonymity, far from the public eye. Civvy life was cruel to men like him, and for months, he drifted between meaningless gigs, his skill set too sharp for ordinary work, too lethal for the mundane.

Then came the call.

Sleep Token’s manager had been a contact of a contact, someone who knew someone who’d served with him, someone who’d heard about him through the strange network of ex-military types finding unconventional second careers. The irony hadn’t been lost on Simon when he was first approached. A band draped in anonymity, each member masked and named only by cryptic titles, needed security. And who better to protect them than a man who’d spent his life hiding behind his own mask?

Fucking unbelievable.

Somehow Simon had ticked every box without realising it, and before he knew it, he was standing in a smoky room, hands tucked into the pockets of his faded jeans as he sized up the bloody Muppet Show who would earn his salary.

He’d scoffed at the absurdity of it back then.

It wasn’t his scene. Far from it.

And yet, something in him, a combination of pragmatism and the faint flicker of intrigue, told him to give it a shot. He was financially screwed anyway. And the pay was good, much better than what he earned as a high-ranking officer, the anonymity suited him just fine, and the job, strangely enough, kind of aligned with his skill set. Therefore, after a few days of mulling it over, he said yes.

Simon had learned to adapt quickly. This job—head of security, an overqualified bodyguard as he liked to call it—had its own rhythm, distinct but no less intense than the one he’d lived before.

Venues became his battlefields, and he mapped them with a soldier’s precision. Potential threats were assessed the way he’d once scoped out enemy positions. His vigilance rarely wavered, whether he was walking the perimeter of a festival or standing stoic in a dim corridor as Vessel rehearsed another one of his verses. To Simon, these kinds of threats were laughable compared to the ones he’d faced during his service, however, it wasn’t without its challenges. Crowds could be unpredictable, and fame had a way of drawing out the unhinged.

He took to his duties with the same precision and discipline he’d honed in the SAS. The members trusted him implicitly, and that trust was something Simon didn’t take lightly. They called him Riley and treated him like a constant, the way you’d treat the sun rising or the tide coming in.

Reliable, steady, unshakable.

At first, the job was simple enough. The usual security gig, albeit with a touch of bloody theatricality. However, fame has a way of turning everything upside down, even for someone like Simon.

It started subtly.

Fans started to notice him too. At first, it was just a handful of comments on social media, like “Who’s the guy in the black balaclava?”, but it grew from there. They were fascinated by him, by the idea of a masked man guarding a masked band. He was an enigma within an enigma, and the internet just loved enigmas. It wasn’t until Lynsey Ward, one of the backup vocalists, shoved her phone in his face one day that he realised how far it had gone.

The backstage in Paris hummed with a peculiar kind of energy and anticipation that Simon had grown accustomed to since taking the job. It was a strange but one of a kind lifestyle, this one, filled with hurried footsteps, clinking equipment, and the muffled roar of soundchecks vibrating through walls. Simon lingered near the members as they cycled through their usual pre-show rituals.

IV sat in a corner, his mask tilted upward as if in contemplation, while Vessel sprawled on a battered sofa, his makeup halfway done, face a patchwork of metallic hues. II drummed his fingers idly on his thighs, the rhythmic taps almost lost beneath the din, while III sat near the makeup station, enjoying the rare moment of downtime between soundcheck, preparations and the main show, reading something on his phone.

Simon leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, his black balaclava masking his expression but not the faint lines of tension in his shoulders.

His sharp eyes swept over the room, mentally running through his usual checklist again that concerned necessary security measures. Entry points, exits, personnel movements, everything was accounted for, everything secure. The monotony of the job had become second nature to him, though he still approached each night like it might unravel at any moment.

Lynsey sat nearby, waiting for her turn in the makeup chair. She was scrolling on her phone, just like almost everyone in the room, one leg crossed over the other, her posture relaxed but her smile mischievous. Simon didn’t notice her at first, he had his priorities, but her voice cut through the quiet hum of activity like a knife.

“Riley,” she called out, her tone playful. “You’ve got to see this.”

Simon didn’t move.

“Busy,” he muttered, his voice low and even.

Lynsey ignored him entirely, already rising from her seat and crossing the room with her phone in hand. “Come on, just watch,” she insisted, shoving the screen toward him. The glow of the phone illuminated her face, her grin widening as she anticipated his reaction.

Simon sighed, an irritated, tired sound that came from somewhere deep in his chest.

“What now?”

Reluctantly, Simon uncrossed his toned arms and stepped forward, his towering frame casting a shadow over her. The screen showed a video, a quick montage of him, no less. Snippets of him walking through crowds, standing by the stage, his balaclava catching the light just so as if he were a character in some fucking noir film. The background music swelled dramatically, and captions popped up over the footage, saying “If I ever get kicked out of a venue, it better be by HIM. Imagine getting manhandled by those arms.”

Simon blinked, his frown deepening beneath the mask.

“The hell’s this?” he asked, his tone flat but tinged with suspicion.

“It’s a thirst trap,” Lynsey said, as if that explained everything, her laughter barely contained.

Simon stared at her blankly. “The fuck's a thirst trap?”

Lynsey cackled, delighted. “Oh, you’re a relic, aren’t you? It’s a thing on TikTok. People post these little edits when they fancy someone. And let me tell you, mate, there are loads of these floating about. Like, ‘look at this mysterious bloke, isn’t he fit?’ That sort of thing.”

Simon’s eyes narrowed. “TikTok?”

From across the room, III chimed in, his grin wicked as he leaned back in his seat. “Nowhere to hide, Riley,” he said, his tone teasing. “You’re a proper celebrity now.”

Simon huffed through his nose, a sound that carried more weight than words. He glanced at the phone again, now firmly lodged in Lynsey’s outstretched hand, the screen flashing more of his edited movements cut and spliced into dramatic slow-motion. He stepped back slightly, folding his arms across his broad chest once more, muttering something about “kids and their bollocks” under his breath as he did.

Lynsey quipped, her grin only widening. “Face it, the internet’s gone mad for you. They’ve even got a hashtag—‘#SecurityDaddy.’”

Simon flinched, his head snapping back toward her like she’d just admitted to committing a war crime.

This made IV join the fray, a water bottle in hand as he ambled over. “Oi, show us the goods. I wanna see what’s got good ol’ Riley in a strop.”

Lynsey eagerly turned her phone to IV, who leaned over her shoulder, squinting at the screen with a wide grin already forming on his painted face. The video played again, the dramatic slow-motion edits of Simon walking through a crowd, his balaclava catching the stage lights as though he’d been directed by a Hollywood cinematographer.

IV let out a sharp laugh, nearly choking on his water.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, leaving a trail of black paint on them. “‘Security Daddy,’ they’re callin’ you? That’s golden.”

Lynsey snorted and held up another video. “Oh, you’ve got no idea. Look at this one, ‘If he told me to leave the venue, I’d say thank you.’ And here’s another, ‘Is it weird to want to be tackled by him?’ You’ve got your own bloody fanbase, Riley.”

Simon’s gloved hand scrubbed down his masked face as if he could physically push away the madness unfolding around him. “You lot are takin’ the piss.”

“This one’s my favourite,” Lynsey said, clicking on yet another video. The screen lit up with a heavily edited montage of Simon in action—his eyes scanning a crowd, his broad shoulders cutting through a sea of fans, the flash of his gloved hand directing someone to stand back. The video was captioned with “I don’t know his name, but he can ruin my life anytime.”

Vessel, who’d been silent for most of the exchange, finally sat up, resting his elbows on his knees as he regarded their head of security with an amused expression. “It’s the mask, mate,” he stated. “It's like catnip. People project onto what they can’t see. You could lean into it, y’know. Like us. Give the people what they want. Maybe throw in a wink next time you’re standin’ by the stage.”

Simon sent Vessel a look so sharp it could have peeled paint off the walls.

II, who had been leaning casually against the wall next to them, joined in with a huge grin. “Yeah, might as well embrace it. You’re part of the act now.”

Simon’s glare intensified. “You wanna end up wearin’ your fuckin’ drumsticks where the sun don’t shine?”

II raised his hands in mock surrender, though the grin never left his face. “Don’t tempt me.” 

The banter escalated quickly after that.

The room practically buzzed with the gleeful chaos that Simon’s presence had unwittingly unleashed. IV was now scrolling through the comments on one of the fan edits, reading them aloud to the room with unbridled glee, each of them taking the piss out of him in the way only people comfortable with each other could.

Strangely enough, it reminded him of Johnny, a familiar mix of camaraderie and mischief that tugged at a memory he hadn’t expected to surface. It stirred an unexpected pang of nostalgia in Simon, a faint echo of Johnny’s effortless knack for turning every moment into a laugh at someone else’s expense—usually his.

“He could snap me like a glow stick and I’d thank him for the privilege,’” II read out loud, barely containing his laughter. “Oh, this one’s pure gold—‘Not to be dramatic, but I would sell my soul just to hear him say ‘move along’ in person.’”

That did it.

Simon unfolded from the wall with a deliberate grace, his imposing presence rippling through the room like a cold wind sweeping across still water. The breadth of his shoulders, the unyielding lines of his form clad in black, cast him less as a mere bodyguard and more as some silent, vengeful sentinel. His shadow stretched across the room, swallowing the laughter as it reached II and IV, Lynsey’s phone still clutched between them.

“You’ve had your fun,” he rumbled, his voice steeped in the kind of authority honed through years of barking orders in the SAS. “Now knock it off, before I confiscate that phone.”

“Go on, Riley,” IV shot back with a grin, entirely unafraid. “Confiscate me next.”

Simon didn’t dignify that with a response.

He turned away from them, a quiet dismissal, and walked toward the door. His hand reached for the handle, his gloved fingers brushing against the cool metal. But just as he was about to leave, a voice cut through the air again, the familiar, teasing tone of III echoing in the now-muted chaos of the room.

“Don’t forget to give us a little twirl on your way out, Security Daddy.”

Bloody hell.

If this gig didn’t kill him, these muppets just might.

betweenstorms (next) (masterlist)

[karlachismylife]

Temptation When I Look At You

Oh boy this actually was a struggle... I actually don't know why, because this is like the most Gaz response ever, but the situation and setting just weren't coming to me at all? I was actually so surprised that I couldn't think of at least ONE situation where this exchange could happen. Maybe because it just seems too single-track? Anyway, I don't feel like this is good, which is a great pity, cuz I wanted to do more Gaz :( But I hope it finds its enjoyers. I still put a lot of love for the pretty trixter boy into this. Might be self-indulgent and thus annoying... and honestly there's not much Kyle here... yeah, I'm just insecure about this one, but it is what it is, definitely couldn't do a better one. Next time maybe? And it somehow ended up being longer that Ghost's... I don't know what I'm doing.

CW: gn!reader, reader is bad with social cues (author is too and it probably shows), fluffy pining and awkward flirting for the pretty boy Kyle.

(Title from "Temptaion" by The Flirts)

also no it's not horny but i gave up on searching for an Elliot gif where he's not naked and accepted my fate

Not being good at flirting and reading it has never actually been that much of a problem for you. Sure, you've had your awkward moments, some downright embarassing, some midnight realizations a week later (ah so THAT'S what they wanted from me!) - but overall, it's not that bad. You're not completely oblivious and you can flirt back and forth, you can more or less tell someone's showing interest in you - or show it back. That has always been good enough for you.

Until you saw him.

You're not sure what it is about this guy in particular - yes, he is very, very handsome, but looks alone aren't usually enough to make you feel that enigmatic pull in your chest and the need to try and talk to the person that makes you feel this way. As you watch him across the tables of this fun boardgame event you came to with your friends, you feel more and more charmed. You can't even hear his voice as he talks to his game opponents from here, so it's not that either.

He just has an aura. A cheezy romantic film protagonist aura. The one the audience can't help but fall in love with and root for - the kind, noble, attentive, caring, respectful, charismatic, funny and cheeky modern knight aura.

You relay that all to your friends and they all turn around to look at the guy - they couldn't be more synchronized if they tried, and you facepalm hard, because you didn't even want to make a big deal out of it, but now of course he'll notice.

The thing is, you're perfecrly happy just basking in this sweet, slightly dizzifying feeling of this movie-character bloke's presense. It feels good, puts you in a dreamy state, and you don't need more - after all, this is just a vibe you mostly created in your head. Trying to get closer to the person probably will only destroy it since he's most definitely not a movie character. Why even burden a man with some expectations and ruin your own fun?

"Wanna go talk to him?" Right. Your friends aren't in on your inner peace with never getting to know the stranger you were so quick to idolize. One of them even motions with their head in the direction of the man, and if he somehow missed the little swan ballet your favourite muppets were showing earlier staring at him, he definitely notices the gesture now.

Curious brown eyes snap up, immediately locking with yours, and an absolutely charming, too sweet to be just polite, smile stretches on his full lips before he seemingly goes back to explaining something about a game card his rowdy-looking playmate is holding.

Damn, he really isn't helping you to shake the heart-shaped pink glasses off, is he?

"No," you can barely tear you eyes away, but you still see one of your friends blatantly grabbing your cards and going through them. The cards that are supposed to be your closed hand. "I'll be doing movie stuff tonight. Always wanted to try."

"What do you mean, "movie stuff"? Gonna ram into him holding a stack of papers hoping he'll help you pick them up?" Another friend does you a service and yanks your cards from the thief's hand, putting them back in front of you - not before looking at them, of course. Unbearable.

"Kinda, yeah. I mean, not that, but you know... stare at him, then look away as he notices... what else is there?" You sigh and put your cards back into the deck, exchanging them for a new hand. "I just wanna see if it actually reads in real life. What, you were never interested in how they manage to realize they're attracted to each other before exchanging a single word in the movies?!"

Several pairs of eyes blink at you silently, and you realize you asked the wrong people.

"The only movies I watch are fucking nature documentaries, babe, they use their noses and mating calls to figure this shit out."

"It's movie magic, normal people talk to each other, exchange numbers and then go on three awkward dates to leave with another girl from the third one."

"Why don't you just start going out with girls already-"

"But WHAT IF I'm not into them?"

"You made us watch six Resident Evil films just because they had Milla Jovovich in them, I'm pretty sure..."

You tune out in the middle of your friends' loving banter and find yourself shuffling the deck for too long as you stare at the victim of your affections. He's laughing and you can make the sound out as he pats his big buddy with a mohawk on the shoulder.

When he catches you looking again, you shift your eyes automaticly. Huh. Looks like you started your little game already. There's really no harm in trying to see how this movie magic holds up in real life, right? You're ready for your plan to lead nowhere. You're here for fun.

That's how you quickly realize just how bad you're actually at this. Watching him and hiding your eyes with a smile that actually lifts the corners of your lips naturally is not that hard, even if it makes you irritatingly distracted during the game - and therefore the punching bag of the evening, but the rest of this social play is harder than any strategy you're trying to pull to get a comeback in this round. As you have to draw another heap of punishment cards, you catch your movie guy smiling again, and you smile back - only to realize that he's actually listening to his other mate's story. Kinda embarassing, but you remind yourself this isn't supposed to lead anywhere.

And you'll never see this guy again, so just bear through.

Next time he actually walks past you - to get some more plastic chips they need for their game, and you follow him with your eyes - actually appreciating his physique in the process, damn, he really is good-looking - and run your hand over your hair in what you feel like should be subtle flirty manner. He notices, eyes narrowing with that smile again, and maybe - you're not sure, and that's how you remember why you actually don't get those fucking movies - nods at you. Or maybe he just moved his head in a perfectly natural way navigating the passages between tables.

"Pathetic," offers your friend a helpful constructive criticism as always. "Honestly painful to watch."

"What's painful to watch?" Ah, and there's the last piece of your friend group, late as always, plopping down on the couch next to you after they've successfully obstructed the view of your movie prince's ass.

"See that hot guy? Grey Henley? He's a lab rat for our dear one's flirting experiment. They've been staring at each other for the last fourty minutes like we're stuck in a bad porn opening scene."

"Why don't you just go talk to him like always?.." Before your lovable I-Don't-Know-What-Clocks-Are friend even finishes, everyone at your table lets out very sarcastic "Hmm", "I wonder why", "Ooh, there we go" and "Why did no one come up with this idea, huh?". Shitheads shoving you under fire.

"Because that's not the point! I'm not trying to get anywhere, I just wanted to see if-" you're forced to hush your own heated retort as the Hot Guy passes your table again. He probably noticed that - if that barely noticeable glance with a curiously raised eyebrow is meant for you, of course, and you suddenly feel flustered.

Social experiments are hard, man.

"I don't get it, but you do you, I guess, as long as he keeps distracting you so we can rob your bank." With a groan, you grumble that they are the worst friends ever, and get your head back into the game.

For about fifteen minutes, then you find yourself locking eyes with the guy again, watching as he leans to whisper something into the Mohawk's ear keeping eye contact with you for some reason.

Something shifts inside you when you see that big guy turn and stare at you with zero subtlty and a comfusing, too intense look. He earns a slap upside his shaven head from the movie guy and sticks his big nose back into their game, but the insecutiry lingers, slowly wiping your smile off your face.

What if you're actually coming off as weird? No, worse - what if they think you're too persistent? Maybe the movie guy tried sending you hints he isn't interested and you missed them all? That actually sounds quite realistic with your lack of understanding what exactly you're doing. And now you're annoying him to the point he has to note that to his friend. And you're ruining what is probably just a fun game night he wanted to enjoy with his buddies. And- oh that's why you always preferred to be direct.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did he flip you off or something?" Your own friends - actual treasures, no matter how much you all are roasting each other - get quieter too, turning (thankfully, not all at the same time this time) to look at the guy.

"No, no, nothing like that. I just think maybe you're right, stupid idea." You exhale, feeling better after a supportive pat on your shoulder. "Well, at least I can say I tried that method too, right?"

"Experience," notes the Milla Jovovich fan with a finger raised in the air and absolutely mentor tone right before beating your card with a heavy-hitter. "You had fun and that's all that matters. Now gimmie your cards, it says I can take three of yours of my choice, cuz you sucked ass."

You get over your short moment of embarassement rather quickly once you fully focus on your game - and you even win some back, ending up second-to-last. How did the late one manage to win, you don't know.

"Another round?" As you agree, they start gathering and shuffling cards, and you glance around, noticing that the free snacks table just got toped up with a fresh pastry basket.

"I'll go grab cookies, you want some?" You take your friends' orders for all kinds of stuff and squeeze along the narrow passages to get to the desired snacks.

It's as you're topping off your plate with a little hill of cookies, brownies an cinnamon rolls that someone's dark skinned arms with grey sleeves rolled up nicely come into view, pouring tea in a thermos mug.

"What's gotten you so shy suddenly? I thought we were having fun."

Your pastry Tower of Babel crashes and tumbles almost off your plate, resembling something more like a volcano eruption aftermath than a proper construction. You don't need to guess who that voice belongs to - honestly, that effortlessly sultry, teasing, movie star timbre can only belong to one person - but you follow the steam raising from his mug and are greeted by the smiling amber eyes you've been staring into half of the evening.

"Sorry, I was just... sorry for staring, that was inappropriate. Hope you have a nice game, still." An apology is due, you think, and you really hope he accepts it. He seems like a chill dude, the kind you don't want to upset because they just don't deserve it.

He deserves to feel good and be surrounded by people that make it happen.

"Hardly inappropriate, but thanks for the apology," he chuckles, and you hide your eyes in the baked ruins you're trying to fix before they fall onto the floor instead of reaching your friends. "Is that why you stopped looking? Or did you lose interest and I'm being inappropriate now?"

Since when did direct approach start making you so flustered? Isn't this what you're actually used to? "This" being actually asking normal questions, not standing so close to a movie protagonist that smells even better than all the fresh pastry on the table in front of you - tastes better probably, too...

"What was that?" He leans closer and you're on fire like a match, in an instant. Did you just say some of that out loud? Is he laughing? No, better question, is he mocking you? Because what you hear next is... "Oh, nothing, Kyle, I just said I couldn't stop eyefucking you because I want to kiss you so bad. Well, then ask me nicely for a kiss, pretty. After I take you out and learn your name."

And just like that, the scene ends, with the charmer back at his table and a piece of paper with his number on top of your crumbling cookie architecture.

Handwritten. Just for you. From Kyle.

"Did you really have to flirt with him over my brownies?" You don't really remember how you got back to your friends. Your cookies getting split between everyone as a tax for you taking too long.

"Props to the guy for saving you from yourself, honestly." Thermos cap filled with tea lands into your hand, the other occupied with the phone number. Finally, you blink, glancing over to Kyle's table - he winks at you, eyes crinkling. Not so subtle.

"Guys, you know, worst part is, I still don't get how this movie shit works..."

[sonkitty]

Trickery Post #7 - Rainbows

I continued making visual representation posts for the Threshold Tricks. I started making GIF sets for the Threshold Tricks as well.

The efforts of doing these things helped me realize that for The Bigger Thresholds Trick, that I should check each visit to see if a visual marker for each "touch" is there.

The pub had two lanes, yes, but there should be two of something, that is preferably not the doors, the windows, or the doorknobs. And there is. There are two posts. I had mainly ever noticed the post at the end of the panel, but there is a post at the wall, parallel to the one at the panel. I found it only once I put in a little extra effort to look.

Well, then...is there a singular thing for the music shop? Yes, the dialogue even clues you into what it is: there is one sign on the window.

Things were sinking in. I kind of knew that, but I didn't know to what extent.

As mentioned in the previous post for this series, I noticed a little rainbow on a standing chandelier in the Single of The Pocket Trick. I was by then aware that every ridiculous tiny detail about The Pocket Trick was worth exploring or questioning at least a little further.

I'm a huge Rainbow Dash fan. She was my obsession before this one of David Tennant as Crowley, and through her, I grew quite fond of rainbows as well. In the back of my mind, I also remembered that post asking about the rainbows in the show. As much of a delight as it was to see that tiny rainbow in that little place during the Single, I knew enough for it to give me pause.

Did the other touches have rainbows? There was definitely one in Triple Part 2, yes. I should check the others.

I found them. The Double was a bit tricky to find because the rainbows are actually found away from Crowley when he isn't on screen, but that's presumably because he's doing this one with the thumbs inside the pockets instead of outside the pockets.

Why would rainbows show up in The Pocket Trick?

I looked up "pockets" and "rainbows" together in a Google search to find out that...there is an Elvis Presley song titled, "A Pocketful of Rainbows."

By the way, Elvis is in Good Omens, both the book and season 1 of the show.

I happily made a post showing the rainbows and remarking that it's one of the easier aspects of The Pocket Trick. In fact, I tried to draft about it in my updates for my main post on The Pocket Trick. While doing that draft, I wrote something to the effect of, "This aspect of The Pocket Trick is strangely easy compared to everything else in The Pocket Trick, but since I'm a huge Rainbow Dash fan, I'm not complaining."

...

And me saying that gave me pause yet again. I'm not complaining about something with The Pocket Trick?

Was I perhaps not complaining because...there's something more to it?

In fact...you know something...that does seem a little...too easy for something in The Pocket Trick. Why is it too easy?

What could even make rainbows more difficult to begin with?

Oh no.

No no no no no.

The game wouldn't.

...

Oh, yes it would.

...

You have got to be kidding me.

...Did the Pocket Chain...have a Rainbow Connection?

After all, the Rainbow Connection is a song from The Muppets movie.

I really lucked out on that idea. For a lot of these puzzles, I've had to do basic searches to find certain pieces because I don't get every reference. These days, I don't watch many movies or much TV, but I've seen enough to have seen The Muppet Movie and know that song.

As a reminder, or possible clarification if I glossed over it in this series, I had a long-standing theory that Crowley and Aziraphale connected their homes during Good Omens 2 causing a supernatural border to disappear or expand. They accomplished such a thing by borrowing each other's homes.

So, the word "connection" was buried somewhere in my mind for this story already with the work I had done in my play for the sideburns game.

The Pocket Trick does indeed have a Rainbow Connection, and we'll go over that later.

I didn't realize these two thoughts were related as they occurred so closely together, but I made a post that there seemed to be a mirror involved with the Tied Hands because they sometimes switch which hand they are tied to. It happened at least in the first two touches of the Triple, and I suspected maybe it happened in The Door Trick, even if you can't see the strands swinging. I vaguely suspected reflections mattered with The Pocket Trick but had long given up on figuring out why. They were just...around enough to be noticed as happening or seeing reflective surfaces. I had no idea to how join them with for why they mattered...until now.

Finally, the ideas collided. I wasn't just dealing with puns.

The word play went beyond that.

See, when I worked on my Pocket Trick post and explaining the Tied Hands, I did briefly consider that perhaps the word "cord" was better suited than "strands" to describe the tie. Were these things truly thin enough to be "strands"? Using the word "cord" instead never sat quite right with me because "strands" and "hands" rhyme. and given that I thought of The Pocket Trick itself as a rather playful thing, rhymes made more sense for what it was trying to do.

So, now another word play idea formed in my head. The tie strands might switch which hand they are tied to because of a Rainbow Connection Reflection.

But I would have to find it if possible.

I was incredibly suspicious that The Door Trick was using these mechanics, and that this imaginary mirror was at work there, so I wanted to explore this possibility further.

In that second cut where I could never see if anything was special or significant about it, there is a girl near Crowley. She is yawning and wearing a light yellow jacket with gray pants. Further behind her and Crowley is a man wearing a yellow shirt. Even though her jacket is light yellow, I figured it's yellow enough that I know that's the proper color.

I did saturate the screenshot to convey the color when I brought up this idea in the works in a post.

I thought maybe the mirror flips during The Door Trick. There could also be a way to flip it back.

So, curious about this possible mechanic, that meant looking at the touches yet again for both the rainbow colors and the reflections.

There is a lot I don't remember exactly about playing such as when I pulled reflections into my searching for the Rainbow Connection. Based on what I do remember, reflections were probably put on hold because I just wanted to confirm for myself a Rainbow Connection existed at all.

...

We'll approach this idea, for now, as only looking to see that a Rainbow Connection exists because there really is only one bigger clue that supports the other numerous smaller clues.

Before I get into this stuff, I'm just going to tell you that I did figure out that Black, White, Gray, and Brown do things. I'll mention them a few times below.

Here is the first touch (Triple Part 1):

That looks like Red and Orange based on the human over to the camera's right. If her orange doesn't count, maybe it's the shoes to the left of the human standing with his back to the camera.

When this touch ends, I had along ago speculated that the Tied Hands might untie.

Then Crowley talks to Nina. That's not a touch itself for The Pocket Trick, but it seemed a relevant intermission and possibly a way for the Tied Hands to retie if I were right on that speculation of them untying shortly before. When Crowley and Nina look over to Maggie, Maggie is wearing an orange headband. Crowley's head is visually near a bunch of yellow lights, one notably bigger than the others by the end of the interaction.

That scene looks like Orange and Yellow.

Here is the second touch (Triple Part 2):

That looks like Yellow, Green, and Blue. The yellow is the lights and some yellow thing near the humans. The green is the plants in the car. The blue is mainly a nearby car.

Black and White are there and seemingly used to help trap the Green from the plants with the findable rainbow, so that the Green can be used for The Door Trick later.

Here is the third touch (Double):

Now here is where it gets more difficult.

We were reminded we left off on Blue before the pocket touch itself happened:

But finding Purple is not easy.

One findable rainbow is on Mr. Arnold's shirt.

The other findable rainbow is near Mr. Arnold involving some things behind him, mostly paper.

The "purple" of that rainbow is actually more like a magenta, but I had used an eye-dropper tool in a graphics editing program that looked close enough to purple to me and more purple than the few magenta-like colors near Crowley.

Even if I had not done such things, the magenta object is on top of a gray object. Gray shades, and with that shading, that magenta would then be allowed to be Purple.

But even so...despite all of that, the purple of those rainbows are for being part of the easier, findable rainbows.

We want a Purple detached from them.

The music shop is full of not purple besides those rainbows themselves.

Oh, there they are....by even more rainbows.

How did I miss those rainbows?

They are gradients shown earlier in the scene. Aziraphale covers them past a certain point, making them easy to miss.

Why do we have 4 rainbows? We are only using 2 pockets.

It's The Pocket Trick messing with us.

The rainbows are on connectors, so that we know those rainbows are for the Rainbow Connection.

I wasn't completely sure when I wrote a never-published draft saying so, but I had a good laugh at the "connectors," so rolled with it.

Sometime along the way, I figured out that Aziraphale ensures the Rainbow Connection switches to Blue by the end of the scene.

That means our Rainbow Connection went down from Red to Purple and is now starting to go up from Purple to Red.

This play is also our bigger clue that the Rainbow Connection is there. We have conveniently found a Double Purple with connectors in the Double of The Pocket Trick to direct the connection upward in a space otherwise quite lacking in Purple. The convenience is too strong to be a mere coincidence instead of a clue.

Convenient as it may be, we still had to look and think about it to get there. We had to play to find it.

Here is the fourth touch (Triple Part 3):

We are reminded or confirmed to be on Blue.

This one looks like a bunch. We've got Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Red.

There is a human in Black and White wearing suspenders. Did they "suspend" something happening on screen? Perhaps something to do with the yellow in the yellow lights? Yellow lights are relevant to the door trickery in episode 6.

Here is the fifth touch (Single):

That one looks like Red and Orange.

The Rainbow Connection has started to go down from Red to Purple again.

Now I've been curious about The Door Trick all along as why I'm even going through all this trouble, so it's time to take a good look.

I spent several hours one afternoon that I think was a Sunday going over it. I joked within the draft that I couldn't keep referencing what would come up in the next cut or a later scene to tell me how the Connection went because eventually, there is no next cut or scene to tell me how it ends.

Well, that process was not published, but it helped a lot because it hit me that, whatever it was that red lights were related to colors being ready for use in the Rainbow connection. The red lights were notably relevant in the framing during these parts with Aziraphale:

...

Now let's look at The Door Trick.

We are clued into starting on Orange right away.

I've already got my theoretical Yellow.

Aziraphale looks like he's stuck on Yellow for awhile.

With those plants in Crowley's car and those leaves near the pub...we end at Green.

Oh, that makes sense because then you can still actually see the Rainbow Connection is intact and there during The Window Trick and the ending credits.

I progressed enough in seeing this Rainbow Connection that I made a post even though I needed to sit with the curious stall of Aziraphale being on Yellow for as long as he was.

I ran through the Rainbow Connection again, making pictures, and struggling to figure out how the switches happen.

Through all of that process, I had a very limited understanding of what happened, but I had enough that I felt worth sharing.

It's honestly rather intense play even though you know how the story ends since one thing you're trying to work out is that Crowley and Aziraphale are working together separately, as they did more obviously during the ball invitations.

In that mysterious second cut with Yawning Yellow, Crowley wants to hit Yellow twice. A girl nearby swings her left arm in place of the Tied Hands to represent that such a thing happens at all.

Crowley is further helped by something resembling a color wheel of humans pocket-framing the "Life begins after coffee" sign. With this color wheel, and the girl swinging her arms, and the non-rainbow shades with their special mechanics, the Rainbow Connection goes to Purple and back up to Yellow so that Yellow can be hit twice.

Because that happened, the Rainbow Connection itself is now going back up instead of continuing down. However, the goal is to make Green next, not Orange, because we want the Rainbow Connection to end at Green so that it can be there for The Window Trick and closing credits.

That's why Aziraphale was stuck on Yellow.

You may recall that I mentioned something is off about how the Metatron plays the game. I described it my own speculation that it's like he's cheating without realizing it, or the story isn't letting him play fully, just partly.

His doorknob and pocket usage seemed or felt off.

Even watching the show the first time, that cut of his finger pressing the button raises some suspicion because, for me, it was like, "What, is he human?"

The Metatron uses pockets like Crowley does, or tries to, but he still doesn't do it quite the same. For instance, he puts the entire hand in the pockets, not concerning himself with keeping the thumb out at all.

Well, this whole Rainbow Connection bit sheds some light on the Metatron.

The Metatron inadvertently helps Aziraphale get the Rainbow Connection back on track. Aziraphale himself doesn't seem aware through his voice and manner of what is happening, but the actions he takes do otherwise look like an effective stalling tactic for the Rainbow Connection.

After the Metatron says, "We call it the Second Coming," he makes three mistakes that I hope I have right based on the word play mechanics and my own imagination ability. They go Deflection, Redirection, and Disconnection. Rule of Three!

That means we'll get the Rainbow Connection to go back up, as desired.

Aziraphale senses something. He looks over at Crowley.

Many fans, from my own observations, have taken note of this cut. They have asked what this look could mean. Some have suggested, "Trust me."

Now it took me awhile to get it, just by watching fans ask it again on my Tumblr timeline and my own re-examination of things on screen, but I got it not long after I figured out The Door Catch exists.

I've played Earthly Objects long enough to tell you that, "Trust me," is not the answer. I'm reasonably sure of myself on it.

Never do the same trick twice. This rule idea is especially true to the Threshold Tricks.

I know the Rule of Three.

I know where that cut is between the cuts of Crowley and the incoming three cuts of Aziraphale.

Word play comes into play and so that cut is Ground Zero because it has zero ground in it.

Because we are at Ground Zero, the look means, "Here goes nothing."

It's a hidden message from the game.

We've already uncovered a hidden message in the game that goes, "The tie strands are connected to the hands because they are Crowley's Tied Hands."

With a little further thought after some days or maybe even a couple of weeks, I realized another hidden message within the scene of The Door Catch. That message is, "The Metatron makes mistakes."

The Metatron does not get whatever hinge he needs done when he presses that button because it lacks the left thumb CMC joint in the framing.

His mistake is also a clue about those non-rainbow shades that must be combined with a lot of other clues the game gave us in The Pocket Trick. The shades have a findable poem that's a quatrain. The poem goes:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

Hopefully the "a" in "gray" is acceptable over the "e," but if it does matter that I made the difference, just know I'm doing it because I admit freely I speak and read U.S. English as my native language.

The Gray of the elevator could shade that Gold to Yellow with better play, but that's not happening. The Black is blocking out the Gray of the elevator. The White is holding the Gold as Gold, so it's not shifting over to Yellow. The Metatron cannot use his dark Brown to borrow anything to make use of that Gray because of that missed hinge touch.

I'm not sure I have the message exactly right, but my translation of it goes, "The Rainbow Connection ends at Green thanks to a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

I had that quatrain in mind long before I admitted it because it's an incredibly weird thing to even be able to find. I couldn't say what these colors did every time I saw them. Black may block, but I don't always know what it's blocking at times when I feel it's there and on. So, how can I say that's what they do? I have some guesses in a few places but not all. I still couldn't let it go, and it still feels like something I know, even if I can't fully explain every move or mechanic in the process.

...

Alright, let's go back to the first touch of The Pocket Trick because it's the one with the most obvious Rainbow Connection Reflection.

A lot of the following is based on my already existing post that explains what the Tied Hands are, but I am trying to slim things down for this part. The format provided is different. The images below are significantly brightened to show things. The GIFs are slowed down too.

As a review, here is the cut that introduces the Tied Hands in Triple Part 1 of The Pocket Trick:

There is a human to the camera's right and behind Crowley carrying a red purse. She is wearing red and orange. We are either starting on Red for the Rainbow Connection or we will be starting once Red is...ready.

Take a look at this particular video frame:

The left thumb joint has a blurred vertex touch, a hinge, with the jacket. Given what eventually happens, that makes this blur a pass that's going to let us see the Tied Hands better than we usually do.

It looks like we have another such vertex touch between the left jacket sleeve and the back of the jacket. They help create a small pocket with the watch involved. More clarity will happen with the left thumb joint later. The watch is on red alert.

Generally speaking, this video frame is trying to communicate to an audience player that edges are thresholds. Another edge of significance in this video frame is the front of the jacket near the garbage bin.

The watch being on red alert is telling us that Red for the Rainbow Connection is ready.

The touch proceeds further.

Now let's take a look at this part here:

This part is so important, let's take the exact shot I want others to notice:

There is a pocket between Crowley's left hand, the watch, the left jacket sleeve, and the left jacket side-to-back area. It's a lot like our previous vertex touch but not quite. This pocket is special because the left jacket sleeve is more evident to be over the edge of that back area of the jacket. Their connection is not direct edge-to-edge, or close enough anyway, like the earlier version. One edge extends over the other. Other parts of the apparel were more evenly lined up with edges before too, but here, they are not trying so hard.

Over edges? Why does this framing want us to notice parts are over edges as we study the Rainbow Connection mechanics of The Pocket Trick?

I think it's because there is a song titled "Over the Rainbow" in the movie, The Wizard of Oz.

This video frame gives us an "over-the-rainbow" touch.

Crowley's reflection can now be found in the window pane to his right. Due to the lighting, angles, movement, whatever, a bit of red is touching the Crowley reflection.

Now we have our Rainbow Connection Reflection.

With our Rainbow Connection Reflection, the imaginary mirror of the Tied Hands is flipped.

Because it flipped, the Tied Hands switch which hand they are tied to.

I already covered The Door Trick and The Door Catch, but that door trickery is why I was so very interested in this mechanic. It's such a curious thing to even do at all.

Other flips do happen in the other touches, but they are harder to play.

I wanted to cover this over-edges aspect because that potential reference lets us meet a Rule of Three. We now have 3 rainbow songs related to The Pocket Trick.

Those songs are "A Pocketful of Rainbows" by Elvis Presley, "The Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie, and "Over the Rainbow" from the movie, The Wizard of Oz.

Something all three of these songs have in common is that they are U.S. based songs found in movies.

We're stopping here.

Up next, we're going to fail spectacularly at taking a break from the pockets as we try to look at Crowley's character relationship with Muriel.

(For reference: Trickery)

[nightmaremp]

hi!!! I am not like massively familiar with your art or aus BUT your art is lovely and the concepts behind said aus seem really intriguing. im curious about the general concept of the weremayhem au! your intro post says you will be rewriting the story, implying the existence of a pre existing one. so like.. what exactly is said story about? and perhaps where can I read it? (if it's something your still good with sharing since you do wanna rewrite it) the vibes seem cool and you've intrigued me ^_^ ☆

Hi! Thank you so much! I love your art too. 

Yes, there is a pre-existing one which is old and not well written. You can read that one on Ao3 and Wattpad. It’s titled “Weremayhem au” . I wrote it back when I was first entering the Muppet fandom. 

Warning, this is long. I will talk about the rewrite since it has a lot but different things as the original. The only different things is new lore, redesigns of characters, and things from “Muppets Mayhem”

The original is following the mayhem and their adventures and struggles as wereanimals in a world that is unaware of them or have hunters that kill them. The original is okayish but have a lot of problems that I fixed in the rewrite. It also had old lore and old headcanons that have change due to “Muppets Mayhem” 

I will talk about the rewrite since it is easier and more put together unlike the original. You can still read the original if you want to. :> 

The story is like a mini series of volumes. I will explain it in short bits, summary so I won’t spoiled too much of this story. 

The first volume is “Weremayhem: Rings of Flames”

This introduced the au and how the band acted with their forms. It introduce how they transform and what wereanimals they are. 

Janice - white tailed deer (weredeer) 

Floyd - gray wolf (werewolf) 

Animal - new foundland dog (weredog) 

Zoot - sloth (weresloth)

Lips - lion (werelion) 

Dr. Teeth - Cheshire smilodon (werecheshiresmilodon) 

In chapter two of the story, it reveals that Teeth have little control of his wereform due to him being a hybrid. (I will come back to the hybrid part) 

Like in “Muppets Most Wanted” one night, Lips watches as Teeth, in his wereform, takes out and eats one of Gonzo’s bulls. 

Later on in the story, Teeth gets drugged with a drug that makes wereanimals act like their animal counterpart. He gets kidnapped by the Electric Moohem, the moopets version of the mayhem. Flooyd accidentally get caught by Zoot and get 

Teeth got kidnapped for the weremarket (kind of like a black market but its only filled with wereanimals) and forced Teeth to fight against other wereanimals.  

The host/leader of the fighting ring wanted Teeth since Teeth is one of a species. He is the only cheshire smilodon that exists. A powerful hybrid. One of a kind that could make the host millions. I’m not going to say the name of the host, I will keep this as a surprise. 

By the end of this volume, the band do get back Teeth who has scars from the event to remind him. 

Second Volume is mostly about Zoot and his past. This volume is called “Weremayhem: Prey of Tiger” 

Zoot’s little brother, Zac comes to visit for a few weeks. During this visit, it shows Zoot’s past with his father and a fear he has. 

This story is mostly fluff or a little break from the events before but still has that horror of the au. 

volume 3, I’m still working on rewriting it. It is called “Weremayhem: The Hunters” 

This is about Teeth getting captured by wereanimals hunters. One of them has a past with Teeth. 

The band has to find a way to get Teeth back from the hunters before it's too late. 

Volume 4 is called “Weremayhem: Sea of the Spotted Beast” 

It follows Teeth’s journey overseas to a new fighting ring. The hunters were working for the host from volume one. 

The band did sneak on board and try to come up with a plan. In this story, we get a character that I add due to @devilsrecreation headcanon and also a oc of theirs is in volume five. 

The band fights the Electric Moohem while Teeth is in the ring. It ends after Zoot fights the host underwater under ice. 

Volume 5 is called “Weremayhem: Felines of New Orleans” 

This mostly focuses on Teeth and his family. Also their is some family friends who help the band get fix up after the events. 

Mostly comfort and angst. 

Volume 6 is called “Weremayhem: The Dark Blood of Science” 

The scientist that work for the host have been working on a project after “Sea of the Spotted Beast” 

They capture Teeth to help their project but it ends horribly when Teeth goes wild in the lab. 

He gave the scientist a dark death. We get two new characters that will be staying through the rest of the AU. 

Volume 7, the last volume of the rewrite. It is called “Weremayhem: Claw of the Hyena” 

Its focus is on the Electric Moohem following the mayhem, following orders from the host. 

It ends with Dr Tooth and Dr Teeth fighting. Teeth wins. 

Of course, I did write “Weremayhem: Song of Beasts” a Weremayhem version of Muppets Mayhem. This one leaves on a cliffhanger. 

There will be a sequel which will be the final story in the Weremayhem AU. I will still make art and maybe short stories of this au. 

Where you can find them? 

You can find the rewrite and the muppet mayhem stories on Tumblr, Ao3, and Wattpad. 

List on Wattpad of the stories: (1) Weremayhem series - NightmareMP - Wattpad

Ao3: 

Rewrite series: Weremayhem rewrite series - NightmareMP - The Muppets - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

Song of Beasts: Weremayhem: Song of Beasts - Chapter 1 - NightmareMP - The Muppets - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

I hope you enjoy the story and Au. If you got more questions, ask me :> 

I do have a discord about the Weremayhem Au but also other Aus. You can share art, headcanons, ideas, and theories. If you like to join, message me so I can give you the rules before joining. Also you get updates or sneak peaks :> 

Have a good day or night. 

[the-muppet-joker]

Their forbidden romance was causing quite the stir...

Part 1

Warnings: NSFW, muppet holes, Joker's cum causes insanity, semi public sex

♤♡◇♧

After Kermit had massacered all the other muppets under the Joker's guidance, the muppet was frequently spotted with him during his crime sprees, laughing almost as hard as the Clown Prince of Crime himself. Many rumors were circulating both Gotham and the Muppet Realm: Was Kermit the victim of Joker's brainwashing? Were they partners in crime? Or were they... something more?

"Mista J would nevah have left me for a Muppet like him!" Cried Harley Quinn to one brave reporter seeking answers. "Not to mention he ain't exactly a lady... and Puddin' has always been a heterosexual!"

Eventually this reporter was able to track down The Joker and his Muppet Companion, interview them, and escape with his life.

"HA! Why not," chuckled Joker, "Put our interview in the papers, it'll be a good laugh."

"And," whined Kermit, "it'll shut up that bitch Harley Quinn and her heteronormativity for good!"

The reporter nervously cleared his throat. "So... are you straight, Mr. Joker sir?"

"FUCK NO." Joker growled.

"And you, Mr. The Frog?"

"Never. Miss Piggy kept me trapped in that relationship for years." Kermit confessed.

The reporters eyes shifted between the pair before finally settling on the clown's hand resting tenderly on Kermit's lower back. "So... are you two lovers?"

Joker grinned maniacally and began to trace Kermit's muppet hole with his long, elegant fingers, eliciting a shudder from the felt frog. He leabed down so that he was breathing down Kermit's neck as he spoke.

"What do you think, Kermie? Should we show the nice reporter man if we're lovers?" He practocally purred the last word, causing Kermit to whimper desperately as his muppet hole began to self lubricate in anticipation. "Y-yes Joker..."

Without waiting for another second, Joker unleashed his throbbing white member and pulled Kermit down onto it, filling his muppet hole entirely.

"AAAAAHHHHHH," Kermit moaned like a whore, arms flailing.

"Oh my," blushed the reporter, using his pen and paper to record the interaction for the artical set to be published tomorrow morning. This story was sure to get him promoted, the reporter mused, picturing the nice fancy office they would give him. He hoped the title of Head Reporter would be impressive enough that his father would finally pay attention to him, instead of spending all his energy caring for his sickly horse.

He was startled from his thoughts by the sound of wet fucking.

Joker and Kermit were really going at it; Joker pulling the muppet up and down on his impressive, leaking shaft. As the precum soaked into Kermit'a felt, he began going insane. His eyes began to glow green and he started laughing maniacally in between his moans and whimpers.

The Joker was similarly cackling as he reached his climax. "Ooh, yes, HAHAHA, fuck, who's heterosexual now, Harley Quinn??" He exclaimed as he burst ropes of thick cum into Kermit.

Kermit went absolutely insane. He was thrashing about, almost rabid, on Joker's softening cock, laughing like a lunatic and utterly delirious from being filled with Joker's seed.

"Wow," said the reporter.

Kermit pulled out a gun.

"Better start running..." Joker laughed darkly, "once he gets a dose of my Joker Cum... he becomes even more insane and violent than I am..."

"Got it," said the reporter, and started running. Kermit's animallistic laughter echoed after him as he shot bullet after bullet after the reporter.

"Aw.... I missed..." the muppet growled. Joker chuckled. "We'll get him next time, lover."

♤♡◇♧

AN: let me know what I should do in part 2... hope you all enjoyed.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

ooooooooh i’m gonna send u many many of these and hope u are still doing them………

2, 5, 8, 17, 21, 64, 65, 74

(you absolutely do not have to answer all of these. or any of them. MWAH <3)

Thank you my wonderful friend :)

2 answered here.

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son.

Yes! I made a few, but most recently for there is no other land https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6UK9NfK7D2yGyKcnl2rcbK?si=sYww7vJjTWyETpZJcjyzig&pi=u-b9oh9EvcRD-m

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

I do not seek it out, I probably should. I definitely don’t take it well at first (see above) but I like to think after that I make use out it. Truth be told, I wish I was better at taking it because I’d love to improve myself as a writer so please send me any you have (or anyone, or as an anon if you don’t feel comfortable). I feel like with fandom, there’s not much constructive criticism, it’s either lovely lovely comments or random anonymous, mean but not helpful comments (which I thankfully have not received much of but have seen it).

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

I cannot think of any I love the most haha So I'm going to share this paragraph and you can pretend it's a run on sentence from ignite your bones:

He was pissed at Jamie right now, too. Pissed that the muppet had wormed his way into Roy’s heart years ago. Pissed, he forced his way into a tiny crevice and made it a chasm big enough for Sam, and Isaac and Colin and every other Greyhound under his charge over the years. Because now he cared about them. Now he had to worry about them. Now he had to worry about Jamie.

21. pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

I'm still trying to write a fic with @fanficfanattic I'm not sure I could handle a whole ass book.

64. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve read?

Oh there are so many! and do not recognize us as we pass by you is fave, as is i saw the end (it looked just the middle) by @antitheticaally, oh god, you're gonna get it (you have not been given love) by @jamiesfootball, To All The Better Places by @asteria-argoand All I Have (And a Little More) by @kvetchinglyneurotic just off the top of my head.

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written?

I really like there is no other land because I use song lyrics so much and I feel like it fits the fic really really well. I also love hope the skin heals where the pain enters because I feel like it also fits the story well.

74. are you a planner, pantser, or planster?

I'm a planster, leaning more towards panster than planner. I usually have a generally outline, sometimes it's just in my head. My longer fics have an outline but the shorter ones, some definitely all full panster mode especially the whumptober shorter ones.

[kayfabe-is-king]

My (Slightly Tweaked For Public Consumption) Running Commentary of AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts To My Best Friend (including all the gifs and photos I sent him):

Wheeler’s face… man that’s an emotionless killing machine resting face.

My best friend and I have rechristened Blackpool Combat Club the Moxley Murder Club. Or MMC for short.

Seriously, whoever is editing these MMC video packages deserves a raise.

Man, seeing Ricochet and A.R. Fox wrestling again… and in AEW no less! What a treat!

Aubrey needs to learn to roll faster.

They really do need to come up with a different name onscreen for Mox and Co. And not Moxley’s Combat Club (sorry Nigel).

Harley is a whole ass bag of crazy but she’s improving in ring and I think she could have a good run if they get her away from Saraya.

They really hope we have amnesia and forget that Kris was supposed to be a heel only a few months ago.

What is it with AEW trying to do these fast and awkward heel to face changes? Kris and Adam deserve better.

Sigh… why oh why do they insist on giving Mark Sterling a microphone.

I will be very very pissed if they use Stokley to break up Private Party. Especially since Stokley and Kris were a great pair and I still don’t understand why they broke that up.

“They should have taken away your driver’s license long ago” - Nigel once again coming up with the creative diss tracks like an 80s rapper.

Danny and Isiah doing their secret handshake for all of us to see warms my heart.

LFI LFI LFI

The confused and bored look on Orange Cassidy’s face listening to the Iron Savages is the same look I have when co-workers try to talk to me before I’ve had my coffee.

Jamie Hayter is by far the hottest and most violent muppet I’ve ever seen. And yes that’s including Animal.

I can’t hate on Penelope because she loves The Sims as much as I do. But her mic work is not that good.

I think they’re going to have OC go through the work to realize he is the leader AEW needs. And if they do it right, that will be a great payoff when he finally steps up.

The Outrunners ring gear looks like the inside of a 90s Taco Bell:

[My husband’s name] says I can’t just add “All of The House of Black” to my hall pass list.

There is nothing AEW can do to get me to root against LFI.

Things I don’t care about: anything Sammy Guevara has to say.

Claudio’s new music sounds like we’re about to attend a fascist leader’s rally. Which, I guess… fair.

Somehow I think Action Andretti is going to cost Top Flight this match.

Thanks to my best friend’s theory, I am seriously side eyeing Bryce calling this match.

Wheeler is getting that (in Mick Foley’s words) good heel heat.

God I love Moxley’s Death Rider music.

Somewhere Alex Reynolds’ doctor is shaking his head.

So am I the only one wondering where Private Party and Garcia are?

Moxley: “Hey ref you work for me…” and it’s Bryce (so much side eye).

No way Bryce didn’t see or feel PAC stomping on Reynolds like that.

Oh NOW y’all decide to come out.

Did Okada really just shush someone on the way to the ring?

I know it’s not gonna happen tonight but it would be nice to give Kyle a title run.

And now we present “Who speaks English better” with your hosts Nigel McGuinness and Tony Schiavone. - once again, that Picture in Picture commentary is the gift that keeps on giving

No one can deny that Okada is having fun riling up the fans.

Sure Aubrey, count on a DQ worthy move.

THE MONEY CLIP

5 minute warning - likelihood this goes to a draw has increased.

No one anywhere has ever laughed as much during a wrestling match as Okada has during this one.

Honestly, The Elite angle is an albatross around Okada and Jack Perry’s necks.

I do NOT like Lance without his braids.

So Callis just admitted he likes to watch. Who is he, Jimmy Cornette?

What exactly was the point of that Undisputed/Beast Mortos promo?

If I didn’t already know I’m bi, Mariah May would be my sexuality crisis.

Why does Ana Jay always look like a show poodle when she wrestles?

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

hey I like your ideas about metafiction n such! how do you think anime would exist in toontown? for me I feel like maybe its a chinatown typa deal where they have a section of the town to themselves and some of them live in toontown itself! also my friend morse from amino suggested a really funny idea related to it: Underground. Magical Girl. Fighting ring.

I glad you do!

Actually no they live over in Japan like you said having their own sect of People it's a lot like the American Studios

So Studio Ghibli characters stay with Studio Ghibli, Mario and them stay with Nintendo etc etc

Unfortunately, Toontown hasn't existed since the 1980s, Judges plan finally worked with gentrification the humans were able to finally basically chase the Toons out for that Highway,

The only thing that can be counted as Toontown in the modern day is Disney World and Mickey's city of Epcot. If you look at the original plans for Disney World Walt was planning on a literal functional City for people to live in,

This is what Mickey completed it started out as a little town, but a lot of Disney Toons moved in and slowly he built onto it and continues to build on to it, as of 2024 there as well over 2 million residents of the City of Disney as it is called,

This is also where you will find some of the more adult Disney Tunes as a result of the fox merger, they do have a South Park land however you have to sign a literal contract stating we are not responsible for your death if you step in here and yes they have a record of three people they've killed. Matt and Trey literally just run around with cameras to capture the insanity of this group,

The Muppets same exact thing except for they've never actually hurt and or killed people however the insanity that is the Muppets, they also have a contract Statler and Waldorf are the worst when it comes to people trying to lawsuit because they Heckle From A Balcony and they do not have a filter

" I thought that was a beached whale for a moment"

" you idiot the beached whale found out how to operate a scooter so they aren't beached anymore!"

But the thing is these two don't even care when Mickey shows up he gets heckled too,

" is that a mouse or a rat I think its confused!"

"I think he's got an identity crisis either way he's ugly" and they start cackling

But as for California a lot of the Toons are just scattered throughout LA and Burbank in various housing made for Toons,

Except for the Disney Toons, Disneyland does have a whole area that is housing for Disney Toons that work at the Parks,

But again for the Anime Toons yeah they typically stay over in Japan and hilariously Japan is actually the most forward when it comes to taking care of their Toons because over in their country they are considered either Shinto Deities like Mario or Yokai,

Toons in Japan are seen as Good Luck it's like whenever Mickey comes to visit for Tokyo Disney, the Imperial family literally lets him stay at their palace to protect him and his Family, actually calling him offically the King of Disney and referring to his family with official titles.

But I will confirm that just like American toons, Anime toon's get up to trouble.

Mario is one that's known to literally talk in Japanese if he doesn't want to talk to you Mickey will also do this by the way he's omnilinguist,

Godzilla does exist and yes his home is the Bay of Tokyo but they have a decoy City that he can play around with and he's basically treated like local wildlife, he has a whole care team that keeps an eye out on him he also gets to help destroy buildings in Tokyo that need destroyed, like his own wrecking service it's a tourist spectacle haha. But people can go visit him in the bay he's pretty much like a giant golden retriever all his caretakers need to do is call out for him and he'll pop his head up after a few moments for treats and pets hilariously,

The Studio Ghibli Toons are known to be some of the most down-to-earth Toons, Mickey is actually great friends with Miyazaki, they both have that nonchalant I wish I didn't have to do this attitude in the modern day. In their world Hayazao actually had Mickey help him a bit on his Museum and a couple of characters and he returned the favor.

The Ghibli Museum is basically a giant terrarium of different worlds for the tunes to live in comfortably, this is what Mickey helped with

Because fun fact Mickey can literally warp the fabric of reality

But like Kyo Ani a lot of those Toons perished with their creators in the fire, because they didn't want to leave them. However the survivors were taken in by fellow studios and found new homes and helped as best as possible

Japanese Anime Toons are some of the most loyal as well to their creators who love them dearly, because seriously the Shinto Gods help the stupid idiot that abuses their Toons over in Japan you will get into big legal trouble and be a social pariah they are that protective.

[firetrucks-fastcars]

What do you think danny would do/say about max being a menace in the twitch chat? 👀🤭

Not gonna lie, this one got away from me. I set this in the quartet verse because that's where I talk about this dynamic the most so apologies if that doesn't fit your vibe

Feel free to send me more of these little blurb prompts, I really enjoy them

Cross posted on ao3 here (just in case reading long posts on tumblr annoys you)

______________________________________________________________

When Daniel returned home from running errands, the door to Max’s office was shut. That wasn’t an unusual sight, he usually liked to clock out the noise of the cats while he was sim racing or keep the other three boys out of sight when he was streaming with Redline. Daniel was almost positive he didn’t have a stream scheduled today, but he still knocked lightly, the secret code they’d established upon all of them transitioning to living together in Max and Daniel’s apartment.

There was a moment of silence from the other side of the door before Daniel heard Max call, “Come in.”

Max was sitting at his sim setup, the title screen for one of his racing games pulled up on the monitor in front of him but no game running. Instead he was on his phone, grinning at what looked like a twitch stream. 

“Hey Maxy,” Daniel stood behind him, squeezing his shoulders lightly and dropping a kiss to his head. “Whatcha doing?”

“I just wanted to drop into the boys stream for a minute,” Max explained, closing the app and locking his phone, placing it face down on the desk to turn in his chair and give Daniel his attention.

“Didn’t feel like streaming with them?”

“Not today. Lando and Charles will be home tomorrow, so I wanted to spend some time with just us tonight.”

“That sounds perfect baby,” Daniel pressed another kiss to his head and ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling where his headset had pushed it flat against his head. “I’m gonna go get started on dinner.”

“Okay. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Daniel padded into the kitchen and started pulling out the pre-portioned ingredients for their meal. He wasn’t much of a chef but he could follow the instructions written on the lid of the container. Max made his way into the main room while Daniel was sauteeing the vegetables and took a seat at the island. He immediately started up his stream of consciousness chatter, filling Daniel in on all that he had missed from Max’s day while he was out. Daniel always found it amusing that Max was usually so reserved but almost never shut up when it was just the two of them. He wasn’t even this talkative with Charles and Lando, though Daniel thought that had a bit to do with Lando having no filter and barely even shutting his mouth when he was asleep (Daniel loved him more than anything but he wondered how his jaw didn’t constantly hurt from moving so much).

Max was half-way through a story about Jimmy terrorizing Sassy, which was almost a daily occurrence, when his phone pinged with a message. When he saw that it was from Lando, he turned down the heat on the stove top and picked his phone up, still half listening to Max.

Muppet: look at what Max has been up to today (link)

Danny: realnamegucci?

Daniel furrowed his brows in confusion as he scrolled through the twitter (yes he refused to accept the rebrand) post Lando had sent him. It was a series of screenshots of increasingly unhinged comments in the chat of today’s Redline stream.

Muppet: crane accidentally on purpose exposed Max’s burner account

Danny: oh shit

Muppet: i think Maxy needs a spanking

Danny: is it your place to decide what Max needs

Muppet: no sir

Danny: good boy. now go to sleep it’s way too fucking late where you are

Muppet: yes danny

Muppet: but if you spank him at least video it for us

Danny: lando

Muppet: sorry

“Everything okay?”

Daniel looked up to see Max staring at him with his head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. He realized that he’d become completely absorbed in his conversation with Lando and stopped listening to what Max was saying to him.

“Sorry baby I got distracted. Just Lando being a menace.”

“So a normal Tuesday then?”

“Pretty much.”

“Anything important?”

“Nah, just a link to some twitter post he wanted me to see.”

“You know it is “X” now don’t you Daniel?”

“Fuck you, you know I don’t accept that shit.”

Max chuckled, then yelped as Daniel threw a wadded up paper towel at him, nearly falling off his stool in his attempt to dodge it. 

Daniel plated their meals and sat Max’s in front of him, then joined him at the bar. MAx waited until Daniel had taken the first bite before digging into his own food.

“Good boy,” Daniel praised, reaching over to squeeze Max’s knee gently.

He hadn’t asked Max to be submissive tonight, but he loved the way his boy fell back into their old dynamic when it was just the two of them. He loved Charles and Lando and their relationship wouldn’t be complete without the two of them, but he missed Max’s submissive side sometimes and found it to be a crime that they didn’t have nearly enough time during the season for Max to sub like he used to. 

They ate in comfortable silence, Max occasionally leaning in to bump his shoulder against Daniel’s. There was no pressure, since they hadn’t planned a scene, but he could tell Max was slipping slightly and seeking the contact for comfort. When their plates were cleared, Max stood up without being asked, taking both of their dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. He started the cycle, then pulled the cleaning spray from under the sink and gave the counters a quick wipe-down. He also filled both of their water bottles with fresh ice and water before standing in front of Daniel, waiting for further instructions.

“You’re being a good boy for me tonight Max. Is there something you want to talk to me about?”

At some point, Daniel had caught on to what Max was doing. He was owning up to the comments in the twitch chat without even knowing if Daniel knew about them. 

“I may have done something today,” Max said quietly. “Something I probably shouldn’t have.”

“Alright,” Daniel kept his voice even. “Let’s go sit on the couch and talk about it then.”

Max nodded and Daniel took his hand gently, leading him to the living room. Daniel sat on the end of the chaise part of their sectional sofa and dropped a decorative pillow to the floor at his feet. Max didn’t need to be instructed to kneel, he did so of his own accord. He flipped open the straw to his water bottle and pressed it gently to Max’s lips.

“Drink.”

Max took a few small sips then pulled away. Daniel sat the bottle by their feet and looked down at Max.

“Tell me what you need to tell me, Maxy. The floor is yours, I’m here to listen.”

“While you were gone I was watching the Redline stream. But I watched it on my other account because I didn’t want anyone to know I was there and then start overwhelming the chat trying to talk to me. And Crane and the guys were making jokes so I joined in. Then Crane sort of told everyone it was me. I’m sorry Danny.”

“What did you make jokes about Max?”

“Kinks and stuff,” Max mumbled, dropping his chin.

Daniel didn’t allow it, pressed his fingers under Max’s jaw to make him raise his head.

“Why tell me Max? I didn’t watch the stream, I never would have known.”

“Because those things are private. They’re for us and I know that everyone is taking it as a joke because that’s all it was really. But I don’t want you to think that I think this is a joke.”

He couldn’t help but smile at Max’s earnesty.

“I know you don’t think this is a joke Max. Thank you for being honest with me, I’m very proud of you. Now I’m going to be honest with you. Lando sent me a post that showed all of your comments. I’m not angry, I thought it was funny, just like everyone else. But I’ll ask you this since you felt the need to come clean. Do you think you deserve a punishment?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” “Because I disobeyed a rule. Technically, one of the rules is to be careful what I say so that none of us gets caught and no one gets suspicious.”

“That is true. So what do you think I should do about it?”

“Spanking?”

“You know, that was also Lando’s suggestion.”

That made Max smile a little bit.

“Tell me your words baby, then I’ll talk you through my plan.”

“Green is everything is good, yellow is slow down and talk it through, red is stop immediately.”

“Very good boy. Now, I’m thinking twenty spanks with my hand. Standard and easy.”

“Green,” Max said dutifully when Daniel took a pause.

“I also want to video it. Lando asked and I think it would be fun to use a recording of you being spanked on him when he’s being a brat.”

“Green.”

“Very good boy. Wait here.”

Daniel stood from the couch and maneuvered to set his phone up on the tv stand to record the scene. Once he’d artfully fashioned one of their lamps into a tripod, he pressed record and made his way to sit back down in front of Max. He brushed the younger’s shoulder once as a single that the scene had started, then made himself comfortable.

“Over my lap Max.”

Max positioned himself so that his hips were over Daniel’s thighs and his chest was propped on the sofa. Daniel tugged his sweats and underwear down just enough that his ass and the tops of his thighs were exposed.

“Twenty spanks. Count them for me.”

Max counted right on cue as Daniel littered his skin with sharp hits. It wasn’t the intensity that he would have chosen for a harsher punishment, he didn’t feel that a few dumb jokes on a livestream were deserving of something too painful, but it was definitely enough to sting and he could feel Max’s pale skin growing warm under his palm. When twenty hits were up, he gave Max a moment to breathe before righting his pants and pulling him to sit. 

“Let me go turn off the camera baby,” he said, tucking Max into the corner of the couch with his water bottle and a soft blanket draped over his lap. 

The punishment wasn’t intense enough that he felt Max was in danger of sub-drop, but aftercare was still an important part of their routine. When he returned, Max had drained half of his water and was sitting comfortably waiting for him.

“Feel better now,” Daniel asked, joining him under the blanket and pulling his head to rest on his shoulder.

“Yes. Though now I’m angry at Lando for ratting me out. I should spank him when he gets home tomorrow.”

“Unfortunately it’s not a punishment when they enjoy it.”

“Fair enough.”

“Come on, let’s go lay down. It’s our last night with as much room as we want.”

“As much as I like being able to breathe without getting hair in my nose, I really do miss Charles and Lando.”

“Yeah, me too.”

*****

“Honey, I’m home!”

Lando announced his presence upon arrival to the apartment.

“Bedroom!” Max called back, sushing Charles quietly when he stirred at the noise. As soon as he’d gotten home, Charles had dragged them to bed, not pausing to hear any protests. He’d sworn he was going to stay awake to wait for Lando, but that had gone out the window about five minutes after his head hit the pillow. So Max and Daniel had spent the better part of the morning snuggling Charles and waiting for their fourth partner to join them. 

Lando had already stripped himself of his outer layers by the time he reached them and stopped only to shimmy out of his sweats before joining them in only his underwear and a t-shirt. He wedged himself between Daniel and Max, laying mostly on top of the latter so he could prop his chin on his chest.

“Hi,” he smiled, flashing the gap between his teeth.

“Hello to you too,” Max greeted, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Lando turned to kiss Daniel, then manipulated his body into the strangest shape Max had ever seen to kiss the top of Charles’s head before settling again. 

“So,” he grinned up at Max mischievously. “How was your spanking?”

“Lando,” Daniel, swatted his ass playfully. “Leave him alone.”

“Did you film it at least? We never get to see Max get put in his place,” he pouted. “You always pick on us.”

“That’s because you’re a brat,” Max said, pinching him lightly.

“Hey!”

“Both of you hush,” Daniel said. “You’re going to wake Charles.”

That put both of them to rest, knowing there would be hell to pay if Charles was woken before he was ready. It was silent for a few moments when Max leaned in to whisper in Lando’s ear.

“Don’t worry baby boy, Daniel recorded it. We’re just saving it for something special.”

Daniel groaned and tugged Lando back into his chest to put some separation between the two of them.

“Menaces, all of you.”

[theinsanecrayonbox]

FOP: A New wish ep 5-8

and we're back at it again. another week, more episodes

spoilers: i think i found my favorite episode of this series. you'll understand why when you get to it XD

Episode 5: Fearless

for some reason my OnDemand doesn't have this available on it's own. however, it seems to be paired with ep4 (as it should be) so we can still see it. it's just weird that every other episode is on there single and together...weird

anywhos, onto the episode proper. the title card is giving me big reff vibes; i can't quite recall which previous title card it's evoking, but i feel like we've done this one before.

did Wanda's "squirt' sound like a mangled "twerp" or was that just me?

"Gregory" huh? i can get behind that. and Hazel is a horror buff?? i love you child. and Jasmine's seen IT?

did they censor Jasmine saying "fraidy cat"??

haha you can use TMNT because Paramount owns them too. they're Disney self reffing XD

ok, wishing your friend was fearless, good plot...think we've semi-done this before...and it didn't work this way last time in Emotion Commotion. but holy wow this is some imagery; we are so into the creepy. i love it

oh oh new geography! Annapolis...can't figure out where it is on that map though (Michigan maybe? Italy if it's not USA??)...also yes muppet stand-in is funny

sweet friendly pep talk, and fear fighting montage. good story telling

child possession??? by an eldritch entity of fear??? dang...this is getting deep and epic. A+ writers

"Don't want another of those going rogue" with an ominous stare at the camera...uh, guys what did you do? what did you do??? O.o!!

overall, very good episode! mundane problem that was complicated by magic but in the end was solved without it and allows our MC to grow naturally as a person. A++

Episode 6: The Wellsington Hotellsington

this one was a Spongebob episode plot right? this title card though evokes Hail to the Chief to me but obviously no connection

Winn Harper's our new Trixie? (a popular potential romantic intertest...and are they nb?) and Dev is certainly Remy/Tad and Chad

oh this plot is actually A Wish Too Far; Hazel's making big rich claims and gonna magic to make it seem that way until it goes wrong. eh, stock, but reasonable. actually makes even more sense since she is the new kid so not everyone knows about her, verses Timmy who'd known his classmates for longer so you'd think they'd've known his family's financial standing.

and why's Jasmine buying this, didn't she go to Hazel's apartment last episode? wasn't on screen, didn't happen i guess)

oh she does remember, but she's an easily convinced ditz. it's ok

mega points for emu

oh and now her wish is backfiring on her, as it usually does

evil doppelganger Hazel speaking backwards???? what the...we are not shying from the weird and creepy are we?? (Shinning reference?) i love this writing team

dawww see Hazel you impressed them all on your own, don't need the frilly fancy stuff.

though you have earned yourself a sworn mortal enemy in Dev. delicious

and we end on creepy doppelganger?? what are you guys doing...and will you do more

overall, another pretty good episode. not anything spectacular sure, but we're still developing our supporting cast and the story status quo. so it's good

Episode 7: 1500 Minutes of Fame

the title almost sounds like it'd fit the previous episode too...but nice city skyline cutout *saves that for later refferance*

awww they're a friend trio now, yay

oh it's Most Wanted's plot...well base plot. Hazel wants to be popular. you'd think Cosmo and Wanda would remember how poorly that can go...

why is Father Time here? he had nothing to do with this type of wish last time. also he looks completely different from his prior appearance but then again that was in Timmy's Secret Wish and that wasn't good so we can let that slide. but being popular falls under "15 minutes of fame" huh? uhhu. well...to be fair i could see a rules restructuring after Tim's deal in Most Wanted and all his tampering with the Time Scooter (and in Timmy's Secret Wish too i guess) could've made it so Father Time has final approval of time-based wishes...maybe if that'd been the ruling from the start we wouldn't have 5 different timelines caused by Timmy in the first place

he's far too gleeful about how monkey's paw this gonna screw her over. he's gotta be djinn

that's squirrel!Timmy!!! as the school mascot??!! what??? also that's Big Problem adult!Timmy again...huh...

i wonder if Bev is a Ubetcha...

and yes being most wanted includes being wanted for not positive reasons

why would you send her to a Hollywood school? because she's famous maybe? i mean that makes sense...because Dimmadelphia isn't in California like Dimmsdale, where one could argue that the Hollywood school was just a district over this they'd share students. i just answered my own question...carry on show

who's higher than Father Time on the magical hierarchy when it comes to time magic? who would you get in trouble with my dude?

pffffft ok Nick of Time. 1) love the pun on the name. 2) love the meta puns in the dialog (ranks up there with Zim experimenting on a child also named Nic).

act New Yorky to make New York minutes? uh...ok...i mean, that is a logical idea a kid would come up with to problem solve, so for that reason it makes sense. also, it again highlights that she's a West coast/Midwestern kid and not an East coast/New Englander (yes there's a difference between NE and NY, just like i know there's a difference between West and Midwest). so...montage of stereotypes i guess

"I am a child and recognize all these references" pfffft i am laughing

and musical number with 2d animations...FLAPPY BOB???? and more TMNT references

and the wish just runs out, the day is saved. this was a fun magical shenanigans story, so good job team.

Episode 8: 28 Puddings Later

are...are we getting a zombie outbreak? i know we had some body horror in another episode, and then all the other creepy stuff in this week's episodes, but...really? O.o why are children's media doing zombie plagues a bunch lately...and why am i complaining about that??? even the title card is a zombie pudding apocalypse!! i am SO down for this episode!

it's picture day...and pudding...oh boy, stock plot of trying to stay clean in coming

Dev steals all the pudding?? oh heckie no! go stop him Hazel!! ah it's through bribery...boo on Dale

Timmy is the janitor i guess?

ah making pudding that available will ruin the market value, and devalue it. economics 101. but also people doing nuts and addicted and thus zombies i guess

and we are spooky. heeheehee

why isn't Wanda more chocolate crazy?

zomr there are children zombies swarming another student. what even is this; i love it

broccoli pudding?? but no Yugopotamians? boo

but anywhos, i think this might've been my favorite episode (and oh look it's episode 8 even, heehee). it was just so silly and fully magically induced and fixed, but it was fun. children being pudding zombies, that's just...yeah XDDD

[ajstudio]

Abridgecard finds Cocaine Bear.

---------

Alucard is getting the hang of the changes in society after rematerializing back into existence. While paying a visit to the Goodwill store Abridged Alucard finds a unique little gem.

---------

Abridgecard: Why are we here? There's a Michael's on the other side of this place.

Persephone: They are closed due to inventory. While it breaks my heart that one of my favorite stores is closed I would be passing up an opportunity to repurpose some old goodwill rags into some real gems. There's nothing better than getting some good fabric for a steal!

Abridgecard: What about Hobby Lobby? Don't they sell fabrics? Or did they stop while I was gone?

Persephone: Oh, no. They still sell fabrics. I'm just checking here first before I go there since I know I'll be there longer.

Abridgecard: Ah!

Persephone: My cousin's art teacher found this expensive blouse for $5. I found some workout pants from Glein Clein for $6 a pair when they'd be worth $50 if I bought them online. And when I am not looking for clothes to wear I find clothes made of good material I can use to make purses, shirts, and pants. I even made my prom dress out of clothes from the Goodwill store in my area.

Abridgecard: *reacts to some of the items at the store as he makes his way to the section with the VHS, DVDs, Blu-rays, and videogame *Can-can girl teapot, Pig Cleaning Lady Cookie Jar, The Muppets plush dolls, Pacman arcade game, pictures, Sophia (Golden Girls) Bust Bank, a hippo Bhuda statue doing yoga, grinning mugs, and a duck wearing a pope hat*

Abridgecard: Oh, Vampire Knight. Of course, they would be in a Goodwill store because no one wants to keep those books any more than their Twilight novels. OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! It's Twilight! Let's see. We have one. Two. Three copies of Twilight. Four Eclipses. Two Breaking Dawns. And one New Moon. Any me novels? Hey, it's the untitled goose game for the Switch. *Turns around to find a Pacman arcade game* Oh, that's so cool- Aw, it's not working!

Old Lady: The Pacman Game? I wanted it for my laundry mat to entertain my customers but the people that work here say it's not working.

Abridgecard: Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! Why donate it if it's not working?

Old Lady: Decoration, maybe? Someone might want it for their man cave. Or gamer cave. I don't know what gamers call their gaming room these days.

Abridgecard: Huh? What's this? *looks at the case and reads the title* Cocaine Bear? *snickers* Are you fucking real!? Is it about a bear doing drugs? *reads the back* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, fuck! This shit sounds hilarious! Oh, shit! I left my wallet at home! *spots Persephone at the checkout counter*

Goodwill Employee: Would you like to make a donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital?

Persephone: Yes, please.

Goodwill Employee: Oh, you have three DVDs. Is there another one you'd like? It's buy three get one free.

Abridgecard: *slaps the DVD on the counter* I will have this one!

Persephone: 🤭😂😂🤭 (He timed that perfectly.)

Abridgecard: Please do this for me. I left my wallet at home.

Persephone: What did you pick? *looks at the cover* Oh, my goodness!

Abridgecard: *bends over to whisper in her ear* We are watching this tonight.

Persephone: Did you check to see if the disc is *opens the case* Oh! The disc is inside case.

Abridgecard: Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?

Persephone: Sometimes people will donate the case without double-checking if the disc is inside. I learned this the hard way with a Celine Dion album that was missing the CD.

Goodwill Employer: That happens a lot here.

Persephone: Or the case might have the wrong item inside. I bought a copy of a game my friend lost only to find out last minute the case contained a completely different disc inside.

Abridgecard: What was the game?

Persephone: I wanted to get Warriors Orochi for the PS2 for my cousin. But the case contained a Dora game for the Wii.

Abridgecard and Goodwill Employer: Ooooooo!

Goodwill Employer: It wasn't even for the right console!

Abridgecard: You know what. I think some kid might swapped the game out of the case with his sister's and taken off with it.

Goodwill Employer: Oh, that's probably what happened.

Abridgecard: Also, why don't you just double-check the cases before putting them on the shelves?

Goodwill Employer: I don't know, but I guess I could make a habit of it starting now. I'll check once someone takes over my shift.

Abridgecard : Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you just take all the mismatched games and movies, hand them out on April Fools Day, and tell everyone there're mystery boxes?

Persephone: Or you could just sell the cases themselves and sell the games and DVDs separately? But what you could put them in if they don't have a case?

Old Lady: Would you hurry it up? I've been waiting here for fifteen minutes already!

Persephone: Oh, I'm sorry! I'll be done right this instant. *hands over Cocaine Bear to the Goodwill Man* I'll be taking this.

Abridgecard: I also want this. *sets down the pope duck*

Persephone: Oh, it's cute! Did you name him yet? *hands the duck to the cashier and then realizes Alucard could've just warped back home to get his wallet*

As Alucard and Persephone leave the checkout counter, Alucard notices an old woman handing the cashier a DVD called The Diary of an Angry Black Woman with an old black African woman on the cover.

Abridgecard: The Diary of an Angry Black Woman? I wonder who passed off the old lady.

Persephone: Oh, did you see another movie you wanted to watch?

Abridgecard: Nah! Just looking at the stuff the old laundry mat lady bought.

Persephone: You know, I've seen that movie, the sequels, and the plays.

Abridgecard: Really?

Persephone: Oh, yes. My friends and I used to watch them. The first two movies were a big part of our teenage years. They were hilarious, but the scriptwriter Tyler Perry, who also plays Madea the old black woman on the cover, isn't afraid to tackle the touchy issues that an older generation would just try to swipe under the rug.

Abridgecard: Oh!

Persephone: To best describe Madea in a way you would understand, Alucard, if I had to pick a spirit animal for you Madea would be the perfect choice.

Abridgecard: Oh, now I need to see this movie! *pulls out Cocaine Bear* Right after we watch this!

Persephone: Well, the good thing is I already own most of the DVDs. My favorites are Boo 1 & 2, the Christmas Specials, and Madea Goes to Jail.

Abridgecard: Well, I guess it was bound to happen.

Persephone: I just want to give you a heads-up about the Madea movies. Despite what the trailers and covers may imply, the movies also focus on a family member of Madea's or someone she'll meet later on and the challenges they face. Madea can be a bit of a troublemaker and probably should have been locked up a long time ago. But just like a good family elder, she offers guidance when they need it. She's kinda like you.

Abridgecard: Are you saying I should be in jail?

Persephone: I wasn't trying to imply that. But realistically, the inmates wouldn't be safe with you. You would probably be put in solitary confinement.

Abridgecard: That's not nice.

Persephone: I'd come visit you.

Abridgecard: But would you break me out?

Persephone: No.

Abridgecard: Ow!

Persephone: But I could afford it I'd bail you out and I'd visit you until I could.

Abridgecard: And with that, you're forgiven.

Persephone and Alucard spent two hours indulging in their leisure activities. Persephone spent her time examining fabrics and restocking her art supplies, while Alucard followed her around with two garden gnomes. They then had a double movie night where they watched Cocaine Bear and Madea Goes to Jail. While watching the movies, Alucard was reminded of his past experiences of hijacking lifting cranes while performing his crazy antics.

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #32:

Cat Steven's Tea for the Tillerman... Belongs in the Comedy Bin

I love Cat Stevens. He writes a sweet melody, sings with a quavering insistence usually reserved for beloved, 95 year old, forcefully retired-by-the-parish, ministers and he named himself Cat.

I believe he also missed out on his true calling: stand up comic. And for this, the Dollar Bin's 50th post, let's take a weekend off of the glories that are Neil and Sandy and poke some fun at the Cat-man instead.

You already know every song and every note of Cat-soft Power's earnest masterpiece, Tea for the Tillerman. It's a classic record, yes. But Stevens, whether or not he realized it at the time, is now fully aware of just how silly much of the album is; just check out his cover image for the recreated version he made on the album's 50th anniversary four years ago:

The woman who made the rain come is still working away in the upper left hand corner. But the children are now on tiktok, the sun is sleeping off its heavy lunch of cow parts and the Tillerman is enjoying a cuppa before he blasts off (rest assured, we'll get to the original record's alien connections in good time). The HAP-PY DAY! is over and it's time for the SIL-LY NIGHT.

Even more so than his musical peer and fellow Muslim Richard Thompson, Stevens is incorrectly considered an overwrought bummer, even by many of his fans. I came to his music in the early 90's and we rightfully loved the songs but condemned the man who'd called for the death of Salman Rushdie. But that was almost 40 years ago now, and Cat has said all the right things about The Qur'an's steadfast commitment to peace and inclusivity ever since. Dolly Parton decided Cat-harsis was a-okay with her 20 years ago, and I say that, unless your Salman himself, should be good enough for the rest of us.

So let's take a cue from the Cat-o-saur and consider the record's delicious bon mots, its head scratching nonsense and the non-sequiturs in each song one by one. Catula coulda' retired even earlier from the music biz than he did and worked the comedy circuit with this stuff:

Side 1, track 1: Where Do The Children Play?

Okay this song is a tough one to begin my argument with. Cat-atonic wanted us to be concerned about the environment in 1970. It would have been sweet if we'd listened! But the grammatical presentation on the record's backside is worthy of your comedic consideration.

First of all, he wants to capitalize "Jumbo" planes in the opening line. Cat-opholis, I get that those jet fuel guzzlers are bigger than they should be and that I, like Taylor, should cease flying my private jet to the Super Bowl. But "Jumbo" is not a proper noun. What's more, when it comes to the title's lyrics in the chorus, the Catster insists that it's not "where do the children play"; rather, it's "where d' th' ch'ildr'n play". Come on, Catly, the children deserve some vowels!

Side 1, Track 2: Hard-Headed Woman

I've been making fun of this song's lyrics and vocal delivery for 30+ years at this point and it never gets old. Catrina seeks a ladyfriend with steel implants in her scalp; he knows some fancy dancers; he knows some fine feathered friends. And when he asks them, mid-song, "why'd you come here for?" they don't query his sentence construction; rather they go into full muppet duck form back at him: "I don't know! Why!?"

Seriously: try lip syncing this whole lovely song in the mirror next chance you get without cracking yourself up. Can't be done.

Side 1, track 3: Wide World

I think it's hilarious that Cat-flower thinks his lady friend is gonna miss him after he implies that she is so superficial all she can think about is clothes and inconsequential friends, and that she is incapable of recognizing the lotta bad out there without his august guidance. Cat-powerless: she dumped you; deal.

Side 1, track 4: Sad Lisa

Don't be fooled: Cat-ography did not write this sad song with its aching chorus of "Lisa Lisa, sad Lisa Lisa" about Liza Mannelli's first record entitled Liza! Liza! No. Rather, he used the song to predict the future of pop music:

But I don't know if Catpants got things right in the song. Lisa Lisa is currently a member of Snoop Dogg's "army" of performers. I'd say that's the opposite of sitting in a corner by the door. She does not appear to be hurt very badly. Sounds to me like she's laughing her way to the bank.

Side 1, track 5: Miles From Nowhere

Catlandia gives us his own version of The Divine Comedy here. Like Dante, he finds himself in a dark wood, the right road lost. But he puts a totally sweet spin on that classic journey to hell and back, casting himself not as a woebegone human, nor even as a cat. Rather, he's a bear!

I creep through the valleys,

And I grope through the woods,

'cause I know when I find it: my honey,

It's gonna make me feel good. Yes.

Seek on Bear Stevens! I hope the honey you seek will be found in the Garden of Eden atop Mount Purgatory, and that it is both pungent and succulent. Please don't eat any sinners along the way.

Side 2, Track 1: But I Might Die Tonight

It's always good fun when rich rock stars strive to embody the working person for a song or two, expressing the concerns of the hoi polloi on our behalf. At the same time Catalina was writing this stuff Lennon was anxiously channeling a working class hero and the Van-dragon was announcing that he'd been working so hard.

Catticus loves this theme; his first hit, Matthew and Son, is a Dickensian piece of workingman's blues, all about a place where the work is never done and the files are filling your head. This was coming from a guy who became world famous at age 18 and named himself after the domesticated animal who least understands labor. Don't worry Catty: no one will ever make you say yes or sink low; and no one will meet you on the street when you look like this and misinterpret your lack of a shirt as a sign that you need career advice:

Side 2, Track 2: Longer Boats

Now we're getting to the best part of his stand up set. Here Kit Catilicious wants to get us excited about visitors from outer space (seriously: that's what he says this song is about, thus the tillerman recently donned a space suit). Cat-scratcher knows the martians are coming to see us any time now and he has wonderfully incongruous and incomprehensible information to offer about their arrival. It seems that a priest will get involved in the extraterrestrial happenings and that this "parson" will encourage women to drop their pants before taking his hand, and that the soul of nobody will know where the parson will go. Where does the parson go?

Dude, what? Who knows! But I'm sure fired up to get in that longer boat when the little green men are taking the key from the door.

Side, Track 3: Into White

This lovely, haunting melody carries us to a shack made out of barley paper and "water ice" (as opposed to regular, non-water-based ice, I guess), all of which sounds architecturally questionable, and in which a red headed chicken is ready to strike a sad eyed drummer with a spider on his face. Catador Dali says the song comes from a "naive, childlike state". I say it comes from rejected pages in the screenplay for Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.

Side 2, Track 4: On the Road to Find Out

Turns out that Cat Simon-Peter wants us to check out "the good book" in order to kick out the devil's sin. This is a full seven years before he officially adopted Islam so he's not ready to tell us which good book he refers to. If he means the Bible, let me go on record with the complaint that that book is 2,000 pages long and instructs us, on the pain of death, to avoid wearing clothes with fibers mingled from diverse sources. Maybe that's why he's shirtless so often?

Side 2, Track 5: Father and Son

Okay there's nothing too funny about this song. Depending on what camp you are in, it's either a big deal classic about the difficulties of adolescence or a bunch of overwrought nonsense. I'm a member of the former camp, and that's only in part because I know that if I ever make fun of this song my wife will punch me squarely in my smug face.

But Catepetto seems to want us to laugh at it all anyway. Check out the akward puppet video for his 2020 version:

The song's recreation is actually pretty cool. 50 years later Cat-thusilla croons with his younger self. It sounds like he's finally info Leonard Cohen's vocal stylings.

But come on, the video spews chunks. I don't want to get uppity about it here. Rather, I'm choosing to laugh about the fact that the kid puppet is all bummed not because he needs to break free from the chains of his familial puppet home but because his puppet dad's digital frig features sour milk.

Side 2, Track 6: Tea for the Tillerman

Happily, hilarity returns for the album's closing moment. Cat-apult hires an entire choir, brings them into the studio and then has them sing a grand total of two words. The members of the full orchestra The Beatles assembled to play that towering spiral of warm up sounds for A Day in the The Life worked much, much harder. Both groups of musicians go uncredited; hopefully they're still having a good laugh about it all.

Happy weekend everyone. Thanks for surviving 50 dives into my dumpster of a record collection. Stephen Stills sucks.

[simptasia]

May I request buffy for the dashboard osmosis if you haven't seen it? Or if you have then steven universe

i'll do buffy

isabel, i like and respect you. but i hear about buffy a lot on tvtropes (in fact tvtropes started as a buffy fansite??) and almost everything i hear sounds... bad. it sounds like a cringe show. i'm sorry

i haven't seen it at all so thats not fair of me. but. yeah

or maybe the show isn't cringe but the fandom is. or both. hmm

buffy the vampire slayer was a 90s supernatural show made by joss whedon at his peak LOOK IM A FEMINIST fuckery

it stars sarah michelle gellar (who i know primarily as daphne in the live action scooby doo movies, and that bitch from cruel intentions) as buffy summers. and she's The Slayer. slayers are like chosen ones, and its a title thats passed on for i dunno hundreds of years

slayers... slay vampires, i presume

she talks in a specific manner hence the trope Buffy Speak. it's basically like a weird simple talky thingy (that was buffy speak)

one of the characters is willow rosenberg played by allison hannigan. and as a bi activist engrossed with fiction, i have certainly heard of this character. basically, she's the poster child for The 90s Being Weird About Bisexuality. as she was into dudes and then she's into a girl and the show is weird about it and she's Suddenly Lesbian. and like, yes, lesbians discovering themselves after dating dudes is totally a thing but thats not the logic being used here, it's just awkward biphobia. oh yes. i've heard much about willow and tara

tho, willow/tara is a case of Fair For It's Day

seth green played oz, a sardonic werewolf of little words. he was the dude willow was into before her bisexuality activated

david borealis and james marsters are angel and spike, they're two vampires that buffy is super into and i get the vibe that their love triangle is like a Big Thing in this show and/or the fandom. angel is the "good" one, spike is the bad one. i read that buffy and spike raped each other (with the buffy raping spike being played for laughs because life is a fucking nightmare). so that's fucked

angel got his own spin off called angel and one time angel became a muppet in it. i approve

angel is one of those brooding "i can never be good, theres no hope for me" types of vampires. the kinda guy tailored for certain women to be like "ohhh i can fix him" or whatever. it's kinda funny. on the flipside i assume spike is for the "mmm i don't wanna fix him" types

this is before this type of thing was subject to parody

there's some blando guy named xander, i think he's a nerd and meant to be an audience self insert. i've seen ppl say he has nice guy syndrome but i dunno how true that is. dunno who plays him

anthony head plays rupert giles, he's the exposition and mentor dude. makes dry remarks and spouts encouragement, i think

charmed, a show i love, apparently stole buffy's vibes a lot

buffy is the first show where somebody used google as a verb. as in "googled"

theres a musical episode wherein dancer and singer hilton battle Absolutely Fucks. oh and everybody has musical numbers, including one that ends with tara levitating from cunnilingus. this was noteworthy because sapphic characters being sexual was actually rare in mainstream media in the 90s. again, fair for it's day

oh, this is a monster of the week show where some overarching story each season. doug jones made a few appearances

i get the impression that buffy is one of those shows that has good actors and concepts but fucky writing. it happens, i feel you

is buffy a cheerleader or did i imagine that. i might be thinking of heroes (which also suffered from great acting, fucky writing)

anyways thank you for your time

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

For the wip ask game, ⛅️☔️ - cryingtulips

Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP

~~~

"Alright," Wilbur begins. He keeps his hands in his pockets. "Now what you'll do is-"

"You're just making me use the bow because you like it," Tommy interjects, standing stubbornly in one spot. "You like the bow and so you want me to like the bow, but I don't. I like swords."

There's a beat. "I know you like swords, Tommy. That's why we're practicing with the bow."

Tommy's brow furrows. "That does not make any sense."

Wilbur sighs. "You like swords?"

"Yes. A whole lot. They're like pockets to me."

"And you're good at using them?"

Tommy smirks. "Wil, you are asking me a quite stupid question."

"Tommy."

"Yes, I'm good at swords. You've seen me use them."

Something in Wilbur's eyes flashes, but before Tommy can think about it Wilbur's eyes are normal again. "Right. You like using swords, and you're good at using swords. That's a good thing. But—"

Wilbur begins to move, walking with slow, long steps in a slow, long circle, around Tommy. "Are you good with a bow?"

Tommy frowns, glancing down at the weapon. "I don't know. Maybe."

"You're not."

"Hey!"

"You just shot a tree instead of the target, Tommy!" Wilbur's voice turns sharp like saltwater, and Tommy shuts his mouth. 

~~~

Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Wellll, I started writing this a while ago but ended up getting very stuck, so I suppose I’ll go ahead and spill XD

Basically. Okay. You know the Muppets Movie, right? So. This fic. It’s like.

Fine, I call it The Muppet AU. No one is actually a muppet, but it’s super inspired by the plot and it makes for a fun title lol

Here’s the premise: Wilbur’s a young man with a dream to be a writer/director for a Big Thing in Hollywood. So, he sets out in his beat-up van to drive across the country and try to make it in Hollywood.

He sets out alone but he DOESN’T ARIVE IN HOLLYWOOD ALONE!!! BECAUSE THAT WOULD NOT BE A FUNNY FIC AND THIS FIC IS VERY HUMOROUS!!!

One of the first nights on the road, Wilbur goes to some restaurant with a stage for little performances, done while the customers eat. Two boys end up on stage, and do a whole little skit, and Wilbur pays attention because they’re good. These kids are good at this. Like, really good.

After the skit thing is over, Wilbur finds the boys and starts talking with them, complimenting their performance. One thing leads to another and Wilbur invites the boys to come with him to Hollywood!! (Wilbur could use them, probably)

Tommy and Tubbo agree, because it’s not like they have anything better to do!

AND THEN THEY’RE OFF!!!

Along the way, they pick up more and more people, including Quackity (works in a diner called Big Diner) Schlatt (owns Big Diner) Ranboo (???) Niki, Eret and maybe Fundy? I’m kinda adding everyone into this fic lol

They all somehow miraculously make it to Hollywood, and Wilbur immediately sets to work; he comes up with a whole script and uses all his new friends to take part in the performance.

This fic is weird and almost crack, and what little I have written for it is super fun :D Hopefully I can write more of it someday.