Apple Seed 5: The Name Game
Buckle up, Buttercups. We got another long one here.
Charlie: (beginning to waddle from the cantaloupe sized bump in her belly as she makes her way towards her office) Ugh... This thing is starting to weigh a ton, and we're barely halfway there!
Vaggie: (walking with Charlie and holding her hand while rubbing her lower back) I know, babe. I know. Good news, though. You're not puking every morning and evening anymore.
Charlie: You have a good point. (enters the office and sits in her plush chair. She tries to lean over to untie her shoes but winces in discomfort, both from the baby belly pinching and how the heels are constricting on her sore hooves) *whiiiiiiiine* Vaaaaggiiiiieeeeee~
Vaggie: I gotcha, babe. Relax. (kneels down and removes the heels, watching amusingly as the hooves flex and spread in absolute glee from being freed, before sitting cross-legged on the floor and gently rubbing the soreness out of each hoof from tip to calf)
Charlie: (melts into her chair as the soreness and stiff muscles relax, tears instantly springing to her eyes) You- *sniff* You're an amazing wife, Vaggie. I don't *sniff-sniff* deserve you.
Vaggie: (rolls her eyes fondly as she continues massaging Charlie's hooves) So you say every day, hun. I'm just trying to take as much stress and ache away from you as possible.
Charlie: I say it every day because it's true...
-Pleasant silence spreads through the room-
Charlie: I have about an hour before I have to do anything.
Vaggie: (slightly perks up) Oh?~
Charlie: (wiggles excitedly) We haven't talked about baby names yet! Can we think of some now?
Vaggie: (not where her mind was going) Oh....
Charlie: Yeah! We should think of a couple to have on hand! Since we don't know the sex yet, can I-
Vaggie: Choose the girl names while I pick possible boy names?
Charlie: *gasp* How did you know?!
Vaggie: I watch you sketch names into your little baby notebook every night, babe. It's not rocket science. But, sure. I'm game. Do you want to throw a few out and the other can agree or disagree on the name?
Charlie: Yes! Okay! Me first! Rhiannon!
Vaggie: Rhiannon?
Charlie: Mm-hmm!!! And if she wants to go by a nickname like me, She can call herself Ria!
Vaggie: I guess that's alright.
Charlie: What about you?
Vaggie: Me? I don't know. I haven't thought of anything. I'm not exactly the creative type.
Charlie: Come on, Vaggie. I know you can come up with something!
Vaggie: Okay... Uh... CJ?
Charlie: CJ?
Vaggie: (blushes) Ya know... Charlie Junior?
Charlie: (big puppy eyes) Awwwww.... You want to name him after me? You're so sweet, Vaggie~ But pass. Not a fan of naming kids like that. Having you moan my name during sex would be ruined forever.
Vaggie: That's fair. (works a nasty knot out of Charlie's left calf muscle) You're turn.
Charlie: Lucy or Lily? Oh! Lucily!!!
Vaggie: After your parents?
Charlie: (nods relentlessly) Mm-hmm! My relationship with my dad has gotten a lot better since the war with the Exorcists. I think it'd be sweet.
Vaggie: You know he would cry worse than the baby when they arrive if we did that, right?
Charlie: Babe, I'M going to be crying worse than the baby when they arrive. What's your point?
Vaggie: (sarcastically) Ah, yes. The Morningstar theatrics. How could I have forgotten. (stands up, pulls a second chair over, and sits next to Charlie - gently stroking her hand over the taught skin of her belly) We're gonna have to get you new shirts and pants soon. I'm surprised we haven't had to yet.
Charlie: (groans) Don't remind me! I'm getting fat! ...Aurora?
Vaggie: Not fat, maternal. And not naming a daughter after the most useless Disney Princess. Next..... Santiago? Call him Diego for short?
Charlie: *gasp* How dare you?! Princess Aurora is.... she's..... okay, you got me there. You want to name our son after a saint? And how about Calista? Cali for short?
Vaggie: Ouph... never mind. Scratch that one..... So we go from Salvadorian to Greek names? That one's not so bad. I'm for Cali or Lucy. Rhiannon is on the fence.
Charlie: Okay, possible girl names. Check! You need to come up with one more boy name.
Vaggie: Hmmmm..... (drums her fingers gently against Charlie's belly)
Charlie: (giggles) Vaggie, that tickles.
Vaggie: (smiles) Sorry, hun. Let me see.... Well.... I'm not fully versed in the Bible or anything, but if we wanted to keep the motif of naming them after your folks. How about Samael?
Charlie: Samael? What does that have to do with my parents or the Bible?
Vaggie: Wasn't your dad's name Samael when he was in heaven? He only changed it to Lucifer after he fell???
Charlie: I.... I actually have no idea.
Vaggie: Well, we can name him Samael and call him Sammy for short? It won't be as confusing as calling him Lucifer, and I'm sure your dad will be over the moon having the baby be named after him anyway.
Charlie: (giggles again and swats Vaggie's hand off her belly) Vaggie, stop it! I said that tickles.
Vaggie: .....I didn't do anything.
Charlie: Huh?
Baby: (flutters again)
Charlie: *GASP* (holds her belly) VAGGIE, HOLY SHIT, THE BABY KICKED!!!!
Vaggie: What?! (plasters her hands to Charlie's belly)
..............
Vaggie: Nothing....
Charlie: Hmmmm.... (mental lightbulb turns on) Say the name again!
Vaggie: Samael?
Baby: (little flutter)
Vaggie: ............Sammy?
Baby: (big flutters)
Charlie: (crying quiet happy tears) Okay... Sammy... We got a name. We'll just think of a boy and girl version when they're born.
Vaggie:
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Queer Christian "mini" ramble :P
I'm a nonbinary lesbian and a practicing Catholic Christian, and ik that Christianity has been and continues to be used as a justification for queerphobia (by people who have clearly never read a Bible smh), but that hasn't stopped me from thinking ab how even just the themes of faith and queerness collide and intersect and come together and shit in such,,,,, just,,,,, beautiful ways imo???
Even going beyond the whole "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and Jesus just being a Swell Guy—The Swell Guy—it can get really fucking interesting, especially considering the context of modern times (I'm a little coo-coo for literary analysis, so just allow me to get my energy out here lol)
Like, Isaiah 49:15 says, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (wording varies based on the version of Bible, but you get the picture)
God is literally saying, "I love you even if your own mother doesn't," and somehow, in the context of so many queer kids getting kicked out/disowned by their parents—to the point where 28% of queer youth have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives as of 2021—too many fucking Christians think God hates gays??? Pick up the damn Book, bitches???
God is an ally, you fake motherfuckers. Leave Their kids alone, goddamn.
(As an aside, I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm pushing my faith onto them, especially when it comes from a religion and institution that has done a lot of fucking harm. I'm not trying to convert anyone—that would be a bitch move. I just get really excited about these two parts of my identity that are very important to me lol)
I feel like this adds up to the bigger point that God is all ab the OutcastsTM, those who mainstream society has marginalized and all that. Several examples from the Gospel to support this come to mind immediately, but listing them all would take a Hot Minute.
But this line from Isaiah is one I think ab a lot. In a text that relies heavily on parable—to the point where you'd think more Christians would understand what metaphors are by now—this line hits especially hard in the context of today bc it's something that literally happens frequently to a specific group of people.
It's eery, at the very least, how on-point it is.
To anyone that's read this far—not to be that cheesy Christian, but I'm gonna be that cheesy Christian—God loves you. Even if you're not religious or have a rocky relationship with religion, I want you to know that God loves you. I have textual evidence and everything. Take it or leave it, doesn't matter <3
At the very least, I, some okay-ish poet on Tumblr (who rarely posts any actual poetry lol), am in your corner. Should you ever need it <3
Ok, ramble over, go drink some water. Hydrate or die straight, you sexy bitches
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