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ryukyuan-sunflower · 4 years ago

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Response to the Moral Question of the MugenxFuu Romance

This is a full response to an anonymous ask I received:

“Can I ask why you ship fuugen? Isn’t Fuu a minor and Mugen is 19.”

This is a rather...complex and loaded question. There’s multiple things to address but I’ll start simple and work up from there. I will first go into my personal feelings on why I ship the pairing, evidence, and then the more complicated concept of the character’s ages both in reality, as well as in the fictional anime. Hopefully it will alleviate some distress on the issue. If it doesn’t, and you consider the age gap morally unacceptable, then it might unfortunately serve to make Mugen out to be a morally questionable character, implied romance aside.

The Simple Question: Why do I ship it?

I ship Mugen x Fuu because it’s implied canon by the creators.

I believe strongly, and have found and provided plenty of evidence in my numerous other posts that support my belief, that Mugen and Fuu were written to have romantic feelings for one another. These feelings were never addressed, acted upon, nor explicitly spelled out for viewers. But the subtle implications of their unsaid feelings added up, episode by episode. The interviews of Shinichiro Watanabe, Ayako Kawasumi and Ginpei Sato only solidify my interpretations and findings.

The actual anime aside, here are the links to my posts concerning the interviews, if you are interested.

-Shinichiro Watanabe about Mugen’s Character.

-Ayako Kawasumi and Ginpei Sato about Fuu’s Feelings for Mugen in the Roman Album.

I adore the entire cast of Samurai Champloo, as much as by themselves as I do as a trio. I love Jin just as much as Mugen and Fuu. However, I do not see any implication of Jin having romantic feelings with either of them. His romance is canonically with Shino and his role for Fuu feels more brotherly and fatherly to me.

Personally, I am not a “crack shipper”. I am not someone who typically likes two characters and pairs them off together for my own amusement. I have nothing against crack pairings, nor their shippers, but it is not my taste. I enjoy romances that have some type of evidence or backing behind it. So it is not as if I simply ship Mugen and Fuu because I like Mugen more than Jin.

If hypothetically, all the things that happened with Mugen and Fuu happened with Jin and Fuu—if Jin saved her constantly, if Jin and Fuu had strange, intimate moments like the wrist grab scene, if Fuu jumped in the way to save Jin’s life, if Fuu cried for Jin seven times, if Fuu’s voice brought Jin back from death, if Jin gave up his sword for Fuu—well, I would not be a fan of the Mugen and Fuu ship. I’d be a fan of Jin and Fuu.

But that is simply not how the anime was written.

On that same note of liking an implied romance, I am not as interested in blatant romance stories either. Implied, subtle romance is so interesting because it leaves enough clues that one has to find themselves, and then you are able to make your own interpretations and “what if” scenarios surrounding it. This is why I enjoy the story types of, say, the Souls video game series and its related titles. (Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Sekiro). The story lines have to be figured out, and while there is evidence and clues dropped all over, nothing is ever specifically stated. But even so, we can come to solid conclusions that are difficult to disprove, but also never fully confirmed.

Samurai Champloo spells out very little for viewers. Example: Never does the anime state what island Mugen is from. We only know it’s in the Ryukyus. But based on historical evidence, and also symbolism in the show (the paantu and the trees in his flashback) we can assume it’s Tarama-shima or another island in Miyako.

Never do Mugen and Fuu state they have feelings for one another, but it’s in subtle dialogue, numerous times. Most blatant however, is when Sara tells Mugen “It’s as if you’ve never been loved by anyone.” and then Fuu proves her wrong by saving his life by throwing her own in the way, only seconds later.

Their actions fascinate me. Both Mugen and Fuu demonstrate self sacrificial behavior for each other, and show how much they care with actions rather than words. Most of all, I enjoy the romantic trope of “love leads to a character’s redemption.” Mugen’s feelings for Fuu is what redeems him from the sins of his past, and saves him from a life without meaning and only pain, anger and hatred. These aspects of his dark character are highlighted both by the dialogue of Mukuro in Episode 13 and Sara in Episode 21. Fuu being his redemption is also symbolized in her saving him on three separate occasions. The last incident, when she calls him back from death and the Paantu taking him away, is the most symbolic of his “redemption”.

Samurai Champloo is a direct response to the cynicism of Watanabe’s previous work, Cowboy Bebop. Where revenge and the past consumes Spike, ruining his future and love, Mugen is redeemed by love and is able to face his past and press on.

Here is a fantastic article about the concept of Mugen’s love for Fuu being his redemption and also being a direct response to Cowboy Bebop.

All of this aside, because of the second comment, I’m assuming that this isn’t necessarily what you were asking.

“Isn’t Fuu a minor and Mugen is 19?”

I’m guessing you’re implying that either the romantic pairing is impossible due to their age gap, or it’s morally wrong.

I was conflicted how to answer this, at first. I know this can be a triggering topic. So I decided on providing several explanations. I hope at least one answers the question properly, or at least sheds some light on the issue.

Either it will justify why there is nothing morally reprehensible about the Mugen x Fuu romance, or, it will unfortunately show that Mugen is morally questionable, depending on how the evidence is taken.

First, at 15, Fuu is not a minor in her time period. Second, Mugen is either 19 or 20 depending on the source.

Samurai Champloo is not set in one specific year of history, as the anime is not only anachronistic, it historically takes place in multiple years that could not coincide. In essence, Samurai Champloo is not one year, but “a chanpuru of one whole era.” This era is the Edo/Tokugawa era, which includes the years of 1603-1868.

In the Tokugawa Era, Fuu is considered an adult. She is a young adult, yes, but in the eyes of everyone, she is an adult. This is both historically accurate, and is also demonstrated numerous times in the anime. Fuu’s sexualization and her being seen in a romantic way is never frowned upon by any of the characters in the entire series.

Brief disclaimer: Nowhere in my love of the Fuugen pairing or fan interpretations of the characters’ futures, do I see any sort of sexual relationship between Mugen and Fuu developing when she is 15. After they part ways, is where I like to make my fan conclusions on them meeting again when she’s older.

I also want to clarify here and now, that I’m not a supporter of a 15 year old entering a romantic relationship of any kind, let alone a sexual one in real life. I think that teens should work on themselves and not get swept away by romance and sexuality, especially frivolously. It’s irresponsible and dangerous. But, it’s also unrealistic to believe all young people will never fall in love, whether it’s fake or real. If there happened to be a man who was 5 years older than a girl and the two did develop feelings for each other, I believe nothing should be pursued between them until they are both of age.

Adulthood in the Tokugawa Era

I want to first talk about the concept of Fuu being a minor. In short, she is not a minor in her time period.

To begin with reality first, the life expectancy hundreds of years ago was much lower than now. In Japan now, the average life expectancy is in the 80s. But hundreds of years ago, it was estimated to be about 50. Women in particular had the complication of fatality from childbirth. Led makeup, childbirth, and also STDs were a huge threat for courtesans of the time period as well. Many women died in their twenties.

As for the concept of ”adulthood”, the adult age of 18 only started in the Meiji Restoration (late 1800s- early 1900s) when Japan contacted the west and emulated its practices. The age of 18 being an adult nowadays is largely based on the setup of the education system. Whether 18 is too young or too old is a matter up for debate and varies country to country.

Specifically, in the Tokugawa Era, the age of adulthood was considered when one entered puberty. This was generally 15 for a male and 12 for a female.

Here is a link to the full article on the topic of the shifting coming of age, if you are interested.

In the case of aristocratic children, such as boys raised as samurai, the Genpuku ceremony that transitioned children to adults varied in age. During the early Tokugawa era, it was 15-17, while later into the Tokugawa era, during less civil unrest, the age dropped to as low as 13. At this age, these young men could then marry and were likely pressured to do so. Marriages in the Tokugawa Era were very different than nowadays as well. Many nobles and royalty had their daughters married off at young ages such as 8 years old.Though, the sexual nature of these relationships did not develop until the girl was likely of child bearing age, which was in the teens.

Taking the historical 12 year old age into account, Fuu being 15, is then already three years into adulthood.

Fuu’s Depiction as a Woman in the Anime

In regards to Fuu’s maturity, she has no guardian, nor caretaker, which shows she is an independent adult making her own decisions. Yes, Mugen and Jin are her bodyguards, but they are not her legal guardians, because she does not need one. It is her who commands them and leads them. After they part ways, she is fifteen years old (perhaps a year older based on the time span of the anime) traveling the country alone.

She was forced to grow up very fast. Not only is she an orphan, but Fuu’s resourcefulness allows her to survive on her own. She tricks two complete strangers to escort her across Japan. But Fuu is fully functional as an adult, arguably more than Mugen or Jin in some ways. She works, fishes, cooks, sews, tends to wounds etc. Fuu is by no means innocent to mature situations either. She’s seen Mugen and Jin kill numerous people in front of her, which is traumatizing in itself.

In regards to Fuu’s sexualization,on separate occasions, there are bath scenes in the anime, showing Fuu partially nude. There are also scenes of her undressing. Morally correct or not, it is clear she was sexualized like many young anime females.

Aside from that, here are examples of male characters viewing Fuu as an adult woman, romantically or sexually.

Episode 3 and 4: Fuu is thrown in a brothel. While the legality of her being forced against her will just for the sake of paying off a debt is somewhat in question, the fact that she is 15 in a brothel is not. Brothels were not an undercover organization. It was completely legal in Tokugawa Japan, and Fuu being 15 as a courtesan was not illegal. When an ugly rodent man buys her, it’s served as comedy.

Episode 5: Fuu becomes a ukiyo-e model, the backwards beauty, for Moronobu Hishikawa, who was a real historical figure. This grown man, probably around Jin and Mugen’s age or maybe older, also is not considered a creep for his attraction to her. In fact, it’s not even considered wrong that he paints a nude picture of a 15 year old. Again, because she’s deemed a woman in this time period.

Episode 8: Nagamitsu, who is leagues older than Mugen and Jin, asks Fuu to become the “harem of his heart”. He is attracted to her, sees her as a younger version of his wife when he first met her, and even asks her on a date, to which she accepts. This entire interaction is played off as comedy, and not that he’s some creepy grown man attracted to a minor. More like, he’s a bumbling buffoon. His two sidekicks, the beatboxer and Ogura do not intervene, nor make a comment that it’s wrong he is interested in a 15 year old when he’s in thirties or forties. Because quite simply, in this time period, it’s not wrong.

Episode 16: Okuru tells Fuu that “a woman with a healthy appetite is a good woman” when she is devouring fish.

If you stand firm that it is still morally wrong and all these characters were creeps for being interested or saying these words to a 15 year old, that is fine. If you think it is morally wrong to ship Mugen and Fuu because of the age gap, and refuse to believe that the two are an implied romance, that is fine too. I can’t convince everyone.

However, I will make the counter argument then, that liking Mugen as a character means liking a morally questionable character. Romance and feelings aside, the reason for this is simply how he treats and talks to Fuu.

Mugen’s Questionable Dialogue to Fuu

If shipping them is wrong, then what Mugen directly says and does to Fuu is just as wrong. In my opinion, it makes it weirder if he doesn’t develop feelings for her.

Episode 2: In the original Japanese dub, Mugen tells an unconscious, intoxicated Fuu that he’s going to rape her. “Okasu kureru” is the dialogue.

The English changes this to “Let’s strip her and dump her.”

Episode 11: When Fuu asks why Jin needs to go see a woman when she’s around, Mugen then responds “Because you’re flat chested”, not to be confused with “You’re a child.” When she says her kimono makes her look slender, Mugen calls her a liar and then says “Show me.” He asks Fuu to undress for him and show him her breasts...

Episode 20: Mugen stands up naked for Fuu in the hot spring even though she’s clearly flustered. Exposing oneself to a minor is an offense in the modern era. But he doesn’t stop there. He berates her, and then peeks his head out to look at her naked too.

All of these examples are meant as fluff and comedy too, no matter how offensive they can be. It also implies his attraction, interest and his consideration that she is indeed a woman. This is then furthered in his dialogue with Jin.

Episode 12: When they read Fuu’s diary, Mugen asks the odd question to Jin. “Man to man, what do you think of her?” This “man to man”, implies Mugen wants to know how Jin feels about Fuu as a woman.

As for a debatable canon example, I have the need to bring up the Samurai Champloo: Sidetracked video game on PS2. In Japanese, it is entirely voiced by the same cast as the anime: Kazuya Nakai, Ayako Kawasumi and Ginpei Sato. In English, Mugen is not Steve Blum, but Fuu and Jin are the same voice actors as the anime: Kari Whelgren and Kirk Thornton.

In it, Mugen develops an attraction to a girl who looks nearly identical to Fuu: brown hair in a ponytail, big brown eyes, pink kimono, three hairpin beads. The kicker is her name is Yuu. The even bigger kicker is that she is younger than Fuu.

Here are the links to the scenes. Japanese audio is much better, as a warning.

Link to English, Fuu catches them alone and tells Jin “I had no idea Mugen was a cradle robber!”

Link to Japanese: Fuu calls Mugen a “lolicon”.

When the girl asks “Do you like me? You can lie if you want.” he tells her:

Link to Japanese: “Suki da. Uso jane.”

Link to English: “I like you. I ain’t lyin’.”

And the two share a kiss, before she dies. Worth mentioning, Fuu also admits to being jealous about all this and a fortune teller tells Fuu that this is her “heart talking.”

While debatable canon, the video game still highlights this concept that Mugen will even like a girl younger than Fuu (anywhere from 12-14), so long as she resembles Fuu.

If we pretend for a moment that Fuu is indeed a minor in her time period, then that makes Mugen’s actions and comments out to be even worse. Not only is he a pervert, but he’s then a pervert flirting and making sexual comments about a ”minor”.

Underaged Girls and Age Gaps in Other Japanese Romances

If you still believe that there is something morally wrong, regardless of the time period it takes place in, I have more modern examples in media.

Modern Japanese shoujo manga and anime (shoujo being a genre directed at teenage girls) is rife with romance stories of older guys with younger girls. It’s not frowned upon in Japan, and even for its readers in the west.

I will give you some major examples I can think of, off the top of my head.

Inuyasha: Inuyasha and Kagome. Inuyasha is over 150 years old (not counting the other 50 years he was comatose). Yes, he ages slower as a half demon, but that is still 150 years of experience in life. Kagome meanwhile, is 15 years old and does not come from the Sengoku era. She’s from the modern era. If one wants to argue that Inuyasha doesn't count because every decade for him is one year, meaning he’s supposed to be “15 in human years”, then there is the matter of Miroku. Miroku is 18 years old, and fondles not only Kagome who is 15, but Sango who is 16. And he and Sango later become a romance.

Shugo Chara: Ikuto and Amu have an age gap of 17 and 12. While there is a love triangle element, it is debatable that Ikuto is more her true love interest in the manga. This takes place in the modern era.

Dengeki Daisy: Kurosaki and Teru have an age gap of 24 and 16. This also takes place in the modern era.

Incidentally, all of these aforementioned romances share some parallels to Mugen and Fuu in some way. Whether the guy is argumentative with the girl, a homeless wanderer, antagonist by nature, teasing about her lack of a figure, a bodyguard/protector role etc.

These are just a few of the more pure Shoujo examples directed at young girls.This does not include age gaps between characters, or underaged girls in anime meant for men or adults in general. They can get far more morally questionable, in my honest opinion. Mugen and Fuu barely scratches a surface. There is clearly a cultural gap between Asia and the West and the concept of age gaps, regardless of one’s personal moral stance on the subject.

Mugen and Fuu’s Actual Age Gap and Maturity

In the Tokugawa Era, their age gap of 4 to 5 years is incredibly small. Even nowadays, that age gap is very small, if Fuu was a legal adult in modern times.

Tsuru-himegimi, the real daughter of Shogun Tsunayoshi was 8 years old when she was married to her husband Tsunanori of Kii, who was 12 years her senior.

As for the anime’s depiction of them, there was never a sense of “Fuu is child. Mugen is a man”. It always felt like the two were in a similar age bracket.

I must ask the question, if Fuu or Mugen’s ages was never revealed, would it change the context of the story at all? If Fuu was older, would it change it? Personally, I don’t think so. In this case, because she is both physically developed and also deemed a woman in the anime and historically, it changes nothing.

Their interactions, their bickering, their attitudes, and the way Mugen yells at her, and the way Fuu reprimands him, it always felt like they were similar. They both exhibited many immature, innocent qualities, as well as adult qualities. It was Jin who had a more mature demeanor, being the calm, responsible one, who would rather not intervene with their nonsense. This is another reason why I see Jin as a father figure to Fuu: a representation of the samurai who smells of sunflowers that she did not have growing up.

These images here show their similarities in behavior quite well. And there are many more examples.

Conclusion

A good, well developed character is not a perfect one. There is no denying Mugen is flawed, morally questionable and sometimes straight out an antagonist. He steals, he kills, he was an ex-pirate who likely raided and pillaged… Realistically, he would have no qualms about being attracted or developing feelings for a woman who is 4 or 5 years his junior, let alone the other crazy stuff he’s done. Especially when, in their time period, there is nothing wrong about it at all.

Regardless if his morality is in question or not, what makes the implied romance so interesting is the fact that he didn’t act upon anything sexually with Fuu. His actions towards her were selfless, and Mugen developed greatly by the end. But because of his actions and words,and jealousy, it does not come off as simply a sibling or familial relationship that the two have. This differs from how Jin and Fuu interact.

Most importantly, Fuu serves as the catalyst for Mugen’s growth and redemption of his sins. Unlike Jin, Mugen saves Fuu time and and time again, making him her hero, despite being seemingly an ex-criminal that only works in self interest. Jin did not require this change, as he was always an honorable samurai from the start.

Both men found purpose for different reasons.

Mugen needed love.

Jin needed duty.

I think that covers everything. Well, unless your question is simply why do I ship them when the characters are young and I’m older than them.

As of the time of making this post, I am a 23 years old woman. The first time I ever set eyes on the anime, I was 8 or 9 years old. As a kid, I had my first innocent, childlike suspicion of a romance between them when Mugen first went to save Fuu from the “bad place”, being the brothel in episode 4 without any reason to, while Jin didn’t. Also, he saved her in Ep 1 and 2 and Jin didn’t.

The first time I got to watch the whole anime, I was 13 and saw the full story play out. And at that point, I was more convinced. Over the years, I rewatched, looked into a lot of the history and symbolism used in the anime, analyzed the episodes, and I became more convinced. I shipped it when I was Fuu’s age of 15. I shipped it when I was Mugen’s age of 19/20. And, I will likely continue to cherish the beautiful story of Samurai Champloo and the implied subtle romance of Mugen and Fuu for years to come.

Perhaps it is a reminder of the purity and innocent nature of love for me. These two did more for each other, cared more for each other, and were more entertaining with each other than so many cliche, blatant romance stories.

#samurai champloo #fuugen #mugen and fuu #Mugen Samurai Champloo #fuu samurai champloo #shinichiro watanabe

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 4 years ago

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1. Love || 4. Fears || 5. crying || 6. Laughter || 8. Dreams || 11. Best Friend || 13. Hair || 15. Hands || 17. Scars || 22. Family || 23. Romance || 26. Beauty || 30. Sex || 32. Birth || 35. Guilt || 36. Sacrifice || 39. secret || 41. Memory ][For Mahogany][

@blind-mutant

Love

A lot of Mahogany's view of love has always been rather religious and platonic. There was love from Old Alpha as she took care of them and taught them and Mahogany distantly knows that their mother loved them, but other than that, Mahogany has grown up on a pedestal placed by worshippers and the terrifying love of the Moder. Meeting Rhys and having a chance to make actual friends that aren't ancient worshippers means that Mahogany loves their friends deeply and will very much so do anything in order to protect and make their friends happy and feel loved.

Fears

Due to growing up coddled and kept away from most things, Mahogany doesn't exactly have a sense of what's dangerous and what isn't. After they get into the real world, Mahogany often will learn first hand why they need to be cautious over certain things, such as being hit by a car or being put into a bath of hot water (coughRhyscough). While it's useful for the fact that Mahogany isn't scared of small things like spiders or rats, Mahogany also doesn't really realise the danger that they can put themself and others into unfortunately.

Crying

Mahogany doesn't have enough water in their body to cry. Or more specifically, they don't actually have tear ducts (usually this means they just lick their eyeballs to wetten them). Instead Mahogany just makes loud nosies and copies crying, which can be more creepy than sad admittedly, or they simply curl into the corner and scratch things. Sometimes they scratch the walls and floor, but sometimes they scratch themself because at least then it feels like some sort of outlet when you can't make things pour from the eyes.

Laughter

Full anime cackle baby. Mahogany throws their head back and usually thumps their hands on the nearest surface and occasionally if it's REALLY funny they'll kick their legs out. Usually their tail forms and it starts wagging wildly and Mahogany will often keep grinning after they've laughed. They're the type of person whose favourite jokes are all about why the chicken crossed the road.

Dreams

Mahogany doesn't dream. The only time they do is if they're tapping into someone's head or if they're tired enough that they pass out. Mahogany only sleeps for a short amount of time and usually their dreams relate to the Moder still or tend to be useful memories being brought forth. Only rarely does Mahogany dream of their mother and they treasure those dreams of Robyn deeply.

Best friend

They didn't exactly have any real friends growing up since....no one was their age or at least stayed their age. But Mahogany probably would have said that Old Alpha was their best friend since she always sat with them, taught them, fed them and then Old Alpha would take them out to see the real world and play games with them. Mahogany considers Old Alpha their best friend for years until they meet Rhys or Abby and they become Mahogany's best friend.

Hair

Mahogany's hair is more connected to their nervous system than most, which is how they're able to feel things easily. Their hair grows rather slowly and it takes a few years for it to grow back once cut and it dulls some of their senses, much like how a cat struggles with some stuff once its whiskers have been cut off. Mahogany doesn't enjoy having their hair up in a bun or any tight styles as it cuts off some form of sensation and they tend to pull their hair out of it quote roughly. Also they love sniffing hair.

Hands

Rat hands. Mahogany has long nails that are jagged and more sharper so basically claws while their fingers are longer and much more thinner than a normal person's. Funny enough, Mahogany lacks the little wrinkles people have on their hands so...they've got really smoth hands to hold. Their hands have a lot of calluses and feel a bit more like cat beans from where their front hands shift into paws when in their Moder form. Likewise, their feet are harder and slightly curved in from how they shift into hooves.

Scars

Mahogany rarely takes scarring due to their powers making them denser and more detached from this reality, but when The Town burned down, it left a severe scar across their stomach up from their navel after they needed to find energy to survive their connection being snapped. Until they form another connection to build up power, Mahogany is more susceptible to being harmed and scarred, such as being shot or the other Jötun that harmed Rhys and admittedly Abby could scar them quite badly now if they were to get into a fight (especially since when meeting, Mahogany is quite deprived of physical and devine meals).

Family

Mahogany adores family. How could they not? Family has been everything for them growing up and it's the very place where power and home lies. Old Alpha was the one who started everything and Mahogany loves her more than life for years to come and still cries over her sometimes. And while they didn't know who their father was or where he went (Died immediately after Moder possessed his body to uh. Have the Build a Bear parts to make an heir), but Mahogany doesn't care. The only thing that's ever really bothered them is how little they remember their mother. All Mahogany has of Robyn is fuzzy memories of a soft voice and being kissed and heartbeats. When they're upset, Mahogany will tap surfaces at time in the same way Robyn's heart went.

Romance

Mahogany is all about romantic gestures once they get the idea of it! They go out and collect flowers, find things that they know their partner likes smelling or drinking and uh...collects the biggest kills they can get in order to seem more impressive towards their mate. Mahogany also starts grooming constantly and ensuring that their hair is nicely fluffed up and that their teeth crunch though the toughest material. They'll give a gift almost every week, especially if their partner likes it.

Beauty

Mahogany knows, that as a monster born from terror and an entire mythology dedicated to gods, they are beautiful and terrifying. Their hair is messy and long and can sense so many things, they can smell and hear much better than any other human, their devine form makes their horns regal and the many mouths and hands and eyes send people crying in joy and fear. Everyone is born with the body they are meant to have and while they don't understand why someome would want to change their body, Mahogany loves them and they love their own angular sharpness and there should be no reason for anyone to NOT want to spend all day feeding them.

Sex

Sex is a...new concept. It was had in The Town but Mahogany never really had a way of knowing it outside of Old Alpha reading them a bunch of puberty books that goes past the 18th century for boys and girls. Beyond that? Mahogany knows that they like licking themself especially well when thinking about a crush but when it comes to actual sex they're clueless for the first few times and the cues of it. Though Mahogany is very eager in sex to pleasure their partner and wants to be worshipped and to tease...although they also enjoy the idea of having a partner that can forced their head down and lift their ass by their tail to fill and rut them good?? Well, Mahogany has made their vulva swollen with those thoughts.

Birth

Ah yes. Birth. When you fill a bath of boiling blood, cut yourself open with a sacrifice and allow your Norse goddess to bless you with child. Y'know. Beats the queue at mothercare. Mahogany was born this way and um. Technically came from the body of a deer?? Robyn loved them immediately anyway and was the most insufferable mum now that she had not only the nordic antichrist, but the only child in The Town at all. It's part of the reason why Mahogany wants to make their own frozen home, so that they can ensure the same attention and effort into making their family as perfectly as posisble. Especially since the whole ritual takes a large amount of energy and effort.

Guilt

While Mahogany never really talks or thinks about it if they can help it, they feel a lot of guilt that he couldn't help their home, their worshipers. That Moder gave them so much power to do so much and all Mahogany really did was let people and a whole home die. They don't like facing their past mistakes and Mahogany will do anything posisble to try and save anyone close to them if needed. When they were younger, they used to turn their own power on themself subconsciously, which hurt even more to see someone from The Town wandering about in the woods before dispersing into ash.

Sacrifice

Mahogany is selfish. Therefore they would refuse to sacrifice anything that truly means something to them. Sure, sacrificing a meal or something to care for a mate is diffrent, but if Mahogany was forced to give up their power or the idea of a new home? Well, Mahogany has an embedded loyalty to Moder that not even a partner could break. Not unless Mahogany was willing to give up their power and to become human or something similar.

Secret

Mahogany is difficult at and with secrets. They can barely hide something they've been told, yet they can keep their own secrets for years on end. If you want to know something then you have to ask them for a while before they might finally spill. Their biggest secrets so far is that they lied when telling Old Alpha that they didn't remember their mother and when Moder told them to leave The Town for a while. That was when they came back to find everything had died.

Memory

Memories are usually when Mahogany's age starts to show. They're old as shit and the things they talk about at times show it, mostly from being with other ageless humans. But then Mahogany struggles to temper certain pathways to go or if Rhys told them to get a bigger rat or no rat at all to bring home??? Living for such a long time within a town where everything is the same means that Mahogany might struggle to remember certain events or faces, especially if they changed rapidly. Mahogany will never recognise Abby in his human form at first, probably never since it's such a stark contrast.

#ask #blind-mutant #headcanon #the monster of forgotten midnights (mahogany)#hoo boy!!

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panda-noosh · 5 years ago

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probably its a lil weird but would you write a fic for our favorite professor lupin comforting a student who's going through hard times at home?

Lupin is in the middle of his lunch when a knock sounds at his door.

He looks up sharply. He isn’t expecting Snape for another two days, and there’s no one else he can think of who would be visiting his office during lunch. Not unless they had a detention, and he tries to avoid passing those out as much as possible.

He swallows his sandwich and says, “Uh... Come in.”

Slowly the door creaks open. For just a moment, all he can see is the hallway through the crack in the door. It takes him craning his neck to notice you standing behind it, knuckles pale with the grip you have on the door.

Lupin raises a brow. “Y/N?”

“Sorry, Professor,” you mumble, peeking your head in, taking stock of the classroom you left only a few hours prior; you were part of his first class this year, and he must say, you’re a very talented student. He took a liking to you the minute you stood up for Neville Longbottom. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Of course not,” Lupin replies, subtly nudging his sandwich out the way. “Is everything alright?”

“I was hoping I could talk to you.”

Lupin’s eyebrows shoot up. “Me? Well, of course. Come in, have a seat.”

You smile politely and do just that, shutting the door behind you. Lupin doesn’t miss the subtle gaze you send over your shoulder, as if making sure no one has seen you enter; he can’t really blame you. Back when he was at school, he used to despise being caught going into a teacher’s classroom during lunch, though his reasoning was more for the other student’s safety than anything else. Nonetheless, the embarrassment was always difficult to shoulder, especially at such a young age.

You sit down in front of him, and Lupin leans forward. “Is it something about the homework?”

“No, Professor. I understood the homework perfectly,” you reply. “I was - uh - actually hoping I could talk to you about something. . . . personal.”

Lupin’s heart jumps. Oh God, he hopes this is nothing to do with growing up. Puberty, broken friendships, teenage drama - he’s not good at any of it. His teenage years were spent changing into an animal and getting in trouble with his best friends; he really has no advice to offer.

“Okay...,” he says. “Go on.”

“Well...” You look away, nibbling on your bottom lip. “I didn’t really know who else to turn to. . . You see, things at home have been a little - uh - awkward. A little tense.”

Lupin raises a brow, a silent invitation for you to elaborate.

You do so, though it sounds like you’re struggling. “My parents have been fighting about bringing me back home. With everything going on, they don’t think it’s safe for me to be here, and we’re not seeing eye-to-eye, and everything’s just been so difficult and tiring. At this point, I’m not even sure I’ll be welcome home after the school year is finished.”

Lupin pauses. Okay. Okay, so this is a real issue. Bordering on Muggle issue. Family life is something he can deal with. Family life is something he can understand.

Slowly he leans forward, folding his hands in front of him. “When was the last time you and your parents spoke?”

“A few nights ago,” you reply, and it is then the tears flood your eyes. Unexpectedly, like you’ve been holding them back for days and they’ve finally broke the seal. Lupin pulls back at the sight, opening his mouth to comfort you, but you rattle on before he can get any words out. “My dad told me I had one last chance to come home or else the doors won’t be open for me after the school year ends. He said. . . He said he put up with me being a wizard, but he’s not putting up with me being a delinquent, either.”

Fury rises in Lupin’s chest; clearly you come from Muggle parents, Muggle parents who don’t know what it is like for the wizard youth. It’s hard enough being shipped off to a school you once had no knowledge of, forced to live a life you didn’t even know you were viable to. It makes it even worse when your biggest supporters don’t accept you.

“Y/N...,” he says. “That’s terrible.”

You sniffle, glancing up at the ceiling as if to push the tears back into your head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you want to do?” he asks.

You shrug. “Everything. I want the best of both worlds. I want to stay here and learn magic, and I also want to make my parents happy-”

“Would staying here make you happy?”

You pause. “Yes. Very much so.”

Lupin leans back in his chair, letting you figure out the puzzle on your own.

You glance up at him, tears glistening in your eyes. “But Professor, where will I go if they really don’t let me back in?”

“Hogwarts is your home,” Lupin replies, because those are the words he always heard, the words he always listened to when he was your age. “You will never be without for as long as you’re under Dumbledore’s care. We’ll get something sorted out for you.”

You perk up. “R-really?”

“Of course.”

A smile stretches across your face, and Lupin is reminded why he chose teaching as his profession. His condition has set him back so far, but this is what he is here for. It is moments like these, when students are smiling back at him, understanding exactly what he is teaching them, that reminds him he is more than just a werewolf bite, more than just a raggedy young man with nothing going for him any more; he’s a teacher, a mentor, capable of helping.

It’s impulse when he reaches forward and places a hand atop your own. “Things will work out, Y/N. They always do.”

#harry potter #request #harry potter fic

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theworryjournal · 4 years ago

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Body Positivist Police

You know the number of body positivist influencers I follow? You wouldn’t believe it but I also follow a few animal/pet profiles on social media that promote body positivism. A very “LOL” moment when I realised that’s how intensely I’m battling body positivism. If there’s one of me, then there are many like me right? A very millennial problem to possess, yet so subjective. You know what I don’t get though, how do I expect someone living outside of my body to help me normalise what’s happening within and on my body? No matter who I follow or what they preach, you can never normalise what I see when I look in the mirror or what I feel when I touch ME. No matter how many stretch mark photos I see, no matter how many uneven breasts I see, no matter how many paunchy human beings I see, its never enough. Do you feel that dissatisfaction? And eventual remorse? Well, I do and I couldn’t fathom, why not? They are doing it, I sort of look like her or him, so its okay. Its not. Its really not (because growing up, I never saw a body like mine up on the big screen and I still don’t see it). Especially those 1000 word essay type captions I see, the ones that do not have a TLDR version saying how they overcame this or that (no disrespect to the ones who have such posts, no offense intended, just normalising), still doesn’t help.

I’ve batted an issue with weight, almost all my life (at least since I hit puberty, in my head that’s when my life actually began). Not weight exactly because I’ve weighed healthy (according to all the WHO standards) but the way I “looked” to myself, in the mirror. I was never satisfied. I always found my thighs too heavy or “thunderous” if you wanna call it. I’ve always found myself too paunchy, there have been times when I’ve breathed short and heavy so that I’m able to hold my shape at a party (WTF right?). I’ve always caught myself staring for too long at my classmates’ (in high school) legs or arms, how they don’t jiggle and mine always did (and still do). I would starve myself, skip lunch and feed my lunch to the dogs. 4 years of braces and hating on my frizzy and curly hair, you would think growing up helps right? Newsflash, not really. Freud was right. if you don’t figure your childhood out, it’ll be your midlife crisis. Then came my 20s, 4 years of braces and 3 teeth short after, joined college and suddenly I was one of those girls that men looked more than twice. Men and women of all races wanted to look at me twice or felt the need to tell me that I looked “good” or they like how I’m dressed or how it accentuates so and so. I was being talked about, I was a standard to many girls. I couldn’t believe myself. I would still look at myself in the mirror, unsure. When I was eventually used to it, I was satisfied. My idea of satisfaction is allowing myself to eat an extra serving of rice (yes, I’m South Asian) or more meat or extra desserts. I discovered this new found confidence that glowed within me and helped me walk with my chin up because men wanted me. They wanted my sex. I was so confident, I was audacious. Happy. This new treatment mollified everything and I soon forgot I ever had issues with the way I looked. You know, until I was in my early 20s, I didn’t think I was a looker. That someone would look at me twice. It was in my 20s, that I heard someone call me beautiful. Pretty. A looker. Hot. Sexy. Cute. That hair is exquisite on you. Then I graduated and transitioned to my mid-20s. Being a professional and all that jazz.

Slowly that confidence began to chip away. Maybe because I didn’t have men/women constantly validating me? Or that constant flow of attention? Then came the string of online dates and I got my next (best, apparently) constant source of attention and validation. I wasn’t out there hunting for validation for my wounded ego, it just came my way and of course I lapped it up. I was so used to that by now. I was hungry. With the “Do you know the kind of effect you have on men” to “Come on! You are being modest. You are fetching for compliments, aren’t you?” Well, no. I’m not. I really don’t know how I look. I don’t “believe” how I look. I mean, how can you believe in something you have no understanding of right? I also began noticing that every problem/hurdle I faced in my life, the first to erode, was the way I looked. That’s when I realised that the most fragile part of me is that, what I see when I look at the mirror. Bad relationship and I “let myself go” and ate whatever I could eat. That’s when I saw the scale dip to the higher end, something that’s never happened before. And now, I was unhealthy and of course I didn’t like what I saw either. That didn’t affect me then because he didn’t think I looked bad. He was attracted to me, even if I wasn’t. Then he left and the veil lifted. An alarm went off and I saw her. Me.

I was sad. Moping everyday. I stopped looking at the mirror. I stopped dressing well. My self-esteem left the building. Being quarantined didn’t help for sure. I knew I was dipping into being unhealthy and finally found that courage in me to face myself and my body. I started eating healthy. Tried not to deprive myself of anything. I exercised (overdid it in the beginning to an extent where I almost injured myself but now I’m learning). It wasn’t easy. I would beat myself bloody (metaphorically) if I cheated or overate or didn’t stick to my regime or didn’t exercise. Now, I’m slowly transitioning. I’m having conversations with my body in front of the mirror. I love looking at myself in the mirror now. I love my hair. I love my skin. I love my stretch marks. I love eating cupcakes. I eat loads of rice. I’ve a paunch and I love it. I sometimes make it talk to me, you know like how kids do it. Yet, there are days when its really difficult. When I’m bloated and I feel like everything I did has gone for a toss. When I look at my arms and think they’re too large. At least, those days are lesser in number than the happy ones. I like taking pictures of myself now and uploading them, regardless of who thinks what. Especially pictures that show my paunch or arms or thighs. I breathe deeply and through my belly now. I finally don’t add as much value as I did when someone compliments me. I thank them and tell myself you bet I do. Because I do. I really do.

Today I’m 26, a vegan (because animal husbandry is going to drive us to extinction), slightly overweight, paunchy, thunder thighs, beautiful curly hair and hairy sometimes. I eat healthy and unhealthy, I exercise whenever I can and I’m happy. I’m “satisfied”. I still follow those pages and like every post because I’m supportive. I realised that no matter how much positive energy you surround yourself with, its never gonna be enough until you fill your insides with it. I look in the mirror everyday because I like who I see, she makes me happy. I don’t upload photos so that someone else validates it or to help someone else see if I can, so can you. No. I do it because it makes me happy. I’m celebrating, everyday. This body. This smile. This hair. This skin. Every time I hit a block and have difficulty accepting a part of my body, I photograph it and look at it again and again. Until I’ve normalised it for ME. When someone says, do you have any idea the kinda effect you have on people, I genuinely know the answer to that because I’ve that same effect on myself, when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve created this masterpiece today and I’ll fiercely protect her.

Its funny how I came to realise that I need to normalise it for myself, every time I’m intoxicated and my inhibitions dropped, I would see someone else in the mirror. A woman fierce from within. Appealing from within. Her personality defining her features. Her personality and her looks amalgamating and reflecting off of my mirror. I would suddenly find every part of my body so appealing and almost turning on. When it would wear off, I wouldn’t see that anymore. That’s when I realised, I’ve to do it for me. Just like how all these influencers are doing it for themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup, dressing up and being complimented. The only difference is I do it only to accentuate what I already am and have and not to change the way I look or am.

TLDR- You gotta do it. You gotta do it for yourself. I mean, you live in that body. You feel its feelings. You masturbate with that body. You dress that body. How can someone else do it for you?

The irony is that my profession is helping others eat healthy and maintain a better lifestyle, I’m a nutritionist. I didn’t plan to be one at all. That’s a story for another time. The universe sure does work in mysterious ways.

Normalise it. Feel it. Accept it. Love it. We’re on each other’s team. Kinda tired of having to throw my hands in the air.

#bodypositivity #me #its okay i guess #mental health #doitforyourself #cantstopwontstop #healthy #strong #independant #notalone #courage

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waeziverse · 5 years ago

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Royal Punch (chapter 7)

The thirteen-year-old human girl kept pounding the body of the harpy boy named Beau.

His greatest advantage had been his talon feet that he had used to stick into the canvas to stand his ground. But as the air was being punched out of his stomach, Beau’s feet lost their grip which meant he was unbalanced and unprepared as Dimi rammed her fist right in his pretty face and made him fall.

Dimi grinned as she raised a fist in the air after Maltus the Dwarf had counted out Beau. She went to her corner so Ivan could get her gloves and headgear off.

“Not bad, girl. Not bad at all.” Ivan took off his goddaughter’s protective headgear.

“Ivan, would it kill you to tell me that I did great?” Dimi smirked.

“I might do that one day. And you might eventually quit being so smug.” The minotaur dried the human girl with a towel, then held her by the chin as he studied her face. “Hmm… You look exhausted.”

Dimi yawned. “Can you blame me?”

A few days later…

“I’m telling you, Beau was tougher than he looked. I kept pummeling his body, but it took a while to knock him over.” Dimi grinned as the teenage dwarf Amethyst did her hair.

“Dimi, I honestly don’t want the details.” Amethyst said as she did the final details on Dimi’s new braids. “I get that you are good at it, but I couldn’t care less about two creatures hitting each other in the face repeatedly.”

“Hitting each other in the face AND evade getting hit in the face, Amethyst. It’s not as crude as you make it sound. Boxing is about most importantly about NOT getting hit. It’s kinda like… It’s kinda like dancing.” Dimi stood up from her chair and took a look at herself in Dimi’s bedroom mirror to admire her new hairstyle. “I love my new braids! I look AWESOME!”

“Good, because it’s my turn to get prettyfied.“ Amethyst took a seat at her bed and waited for Dimi to do her beard. The young dwarf was proud of how big her fluffy beard was despite her still being very young. Puberty had been most kind to her.

Amethyst’s mother Agate entered the bedroom with a tray with a pot of tea and a plate of cookies. “Girls, I have some snacks for you. Dimi, you have to leave about an hour from now. Or Ivan will be displeased.”

“Man, why do I have to go to bed early just because Ivan is an old lady?” Dimi tied the sixth bow on Amethyst’s beard. “I could stay up all night if…” She yawned “… if I wanted to.”

“I don’t know about that, young lady.” Agate took a cookie for herself. “You do look like a bit of shuteye could do you good.”

“Maybe it is all of that dancing that has tired out our resident master boxer.” Amethyst giggled as she stood up to see her own reflection in the mirror. “Look at me! Do I look like a princess or what?”

“Take it from someone who knows.” Dimi grinned as she rubbed her tired eyes. “You do.”

***

Dimi had slept like a baby, but she still felt a bit groggy as she went to get eggs from Aura the Sphinx’s egg stall at the town’s public square. The winged lion-woman greeted her. Dimi made a somewhat drowsy smile as she placed a bag of coins on the table. “Two eggs, please.”

Aura gave Dimi a basket with two griffin eggs inside. “Here you go. Also…” Aura winked as she placed a brown bag in the basket as well. “Some chicken sausages on the house.”

“Sweet! Thanks, Aura.” The human gave the griffin and chicken farmer a grateful smile. “Never realized how much I love meat till I moved in with Ivan.”

“That sweet man doesn’t understand that a healthy growing girl needs plenty of protein.” Aura gave Dimi a smile so all her sharp teeth were visible. But then she looked worried as the human girl yawned once more. “Dimi, are you okay? You look exhausted.”

Dimi nudged her face as she took the basket. “How come everyone tells me that? I look awesome.”

“You look worse for wear is what you do. Is Ivan overworking you? Are you ill?”

“No, I’m fine.” Dimi yawned.

“Dimi...” Aura was unsure if she was crossing a line, but she had to ask. “I’m sorry to ask, but are you on you… period?”

Dimi's face turned red like a tomato. “What? NO. I mean… yes… no… YES! Ah…” Dimi groaned. “... Which answer will make me look less stupid?

Aura was baffled. She placed a sign at her stand that said Will be back in a minute. "Dimi, I think we should have a little talk.“

***

After one very embarrassing conversation, Dimi went back to Ivan’s house with the eggs and went to the forge for work. She had recently gained the function as striker, meaning she had to swing a large sledgehammer while Ivan held the hot iron at the anvil with tongs in one hand, and made signals where to strike the iron by tapping it with a small hammer in his other hand. With some difficulties, Dimi delivered heavy blows against the metal while sweat ran down her forehead toward her slightly tired eyes.

Ivan raised an eyebrow. “You did go to bed at the time we agreed, right?”

“Yeah, stop asking already.” Dimi made a small groan as she swung the sledgehammer again. “This is difficult enough without your nagging.”

“I’m not nagging, just worried. Alright, I think that’s enough.” Ivan cooled the iron as Dimi dropped the huge hammer and stretched. “Look, there is no shame in feeling a bit under the weather. How about you go for a run, get some fresh air in the head, and then take a nap?”

“But what about the deliveries to Onyxville?”

“Dimi, I ran this forge long before you came into my life, I can live with you taking a nap now and then when you need it.” The minotaur handed her a wet rag. “Clean your face and get going. Who knows? You might not need the nap after a bit of jogging.”

Not long after Dimi had left the forge, Aura came in.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise.” Ivan cleaned his face before giving Aura a kiss.

“I closed the stand early today.” Aura embarrassed the bull-man. She smiled at him, but her face turned somewhat stern. “Ivan, I came because I think you should know how much it bothers Dimi that she hasn't had her first menstruation yet.”

“Wow, WOW! Hold up!” Ivan let go of Aura and took a step backward as he held his hands up as if he thought the sphinx was about to throw a ball at him. “You can’t just talk to me about Dimi and that… that girl problem.”

Aura restrained a laugh. “That girl problem?”

“You know…” Ivan’s blushed. “That… THING! The thing, you know? That month thing.”

Aura smiled as she rolled her eyes. “What are you, Ivan? A child? You haven’t talked to her about it at all?”

“I can’t talk to her about… about that. I’m a man.”

“Well, she did talk to me about it. And she is actually very upset about having yet to have had her first peri-”

“PLEASE don’t use that word and my goddaughter in the same sentence.”

“Her first PERIOD!” Aura smiled triumphant and giggled at Ivan’s expense as the bull-man buried his face in his hands out of embarrassment. ”Get a grip of yourself, Ivan. You are old enough to know that girls don’t have cooties.” Aura stopped giggling and looked serious once again. “She needs someone to talk about growing up, Ivan. I don’t expect that you can, but you have to make sure someone provides her with information about how and when her body will change.”

“Okay, you are right.” Ivan sighed. “Ah… What did you tell her about… about that?”

“I told her she has nothing to worry about. That it comes later for some than others and that it is completely natural.”

“I’m glad she has someone to talk about those… things. I know nothing about young female creatures and how they… work.”

“Not a problem.” Aura hugged the somewhat dirty bull-man and kissed him on the cheek. “But couldn’t she talk about it with Nora? You told me she was her great aunt, right?”

“I asked Nora, but she wasn’t sure she could help because…” Because humans and elves are slightly different in several ways. “Ah… it’s complicated. Hey, did you do something with your hair? Looks good.”

Aura raised an eyebrow. She noticed that there were a lot of things Ivan did not tell her when it came to Dimi. Like when she asked how he became the godfather of a human kid. Aura had heard that after most of the humans left the kingdom after the orcs took over that several human children had been allowed to stay after not-humans had agreed to adopt them. Aura wanted to know why he had agreed to adopt this girl, but he always changed subject right after saying It’s complicated, as if it was some sort of universal explanation.

Aura sighed. “Right… OH, almost forgot, I want to ask you a favor: I asked Korra to stop by my place after dinner because Hothoof hurt her wing. Could you stop by and help me hold her while Korra examines her? She gets nervous around animal doctors.”

Ivan looked terrified by the thought of being that close to a griffin. “Aura, you know how much I HATE touching animals.”

“Oh?” Aura gave Ivan a coy smile as she drew circles on his chest with her clawed finger. “Are you telling me that my big, strong, SEXY bull-man won’t do me that tiny favor?”

Ivan started to blink rapidly and gulped. “When will Korra arrive?”

“About a quarter to seven.”

“I will be there.”

Aura had a smile that went from one ear to the other as she left the forge and flew back to her farm. Ivan was SO easy. And she loved him for it.

***

Dimi usually loved to jog in the big forest not far away from Jadedale. Especially since it gave her the opportunity to visit her little friends she couldn’t really invite home since she knew how much they disturbed Ivan. But this day, she was just not in the mood. She was tired for some reason. Not as in overworked, but as in her head feeling like it was filled with cotton. As if she had been awake for days.

So she stopped jogging, something that required surprisingly much concentration. The weather was pleasant, so she took a seat on a tree that had been chopped over and left lying around. As she did that, one of her little friends came. A deer.

“Hey, Prongs.“ Dimi nuzzled the animal between its antlers. “Sorry it’s been a while. I had to see another friend yesterday and I’ve been busy the days before that.”

The animal lied at her feet like a cat, allowing her to stroke it.

“You know something, Prongs? It probably makes me a bad person, but I really enjoy it when my fist connects with someone else’s face. Every time, I imagine that I hit the orc princess in her ugly mug. I have no idea what she looks like, but I can see her so clearly as she is baffled after getting a knuckle sandwich from me. I hate her and I hit her and I knock her down.”

The deer looked at her with it’s beautiful black eyes.

“Don’t you worry, mister. Even after becoming ruler of the kingdom, I will make enough time in my schedule to come visit you from time to time. I promise.” Then, Dimi’s smile faded away. “Speaking of schedule, I can’t sit around here all day. I have a match next Sunday, I have to train.” The deer looked begrudgingly at Dimi as she stretched. “Don’t give me that, I’m fine. Hey, you wanna race?”

The deer just stared at her.

“UGH, you are just as bad as Ivan. I will run by myself. I need to build up stamina.” Dimi yawned as she began to jog.

Less than ten minutes later, she stumbled over a rock and fell over.

***

Ivan was getting worried. Dimi had been gone for an hour.

The minotaur soon saw that he had been right to be worried Dimi’s deer friend came with his goddaughter that was leaning against the king of the woods since she could barely stand on her own feet.

“What in blazes?!” Ivan rushed to the child’s aid. “Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine…” Dimi groaned.

“Yeah, and I’m a pretty little faun!” Ivan looked worried at the animal. “Um… did anyone… see you two?”

“No… no, Prongs and me took a detour. No one in the village saw me and my deer buddy.”

“Alright, THAT’S IT!” Ivan picked up the teenager in his massive arms and the deer left. “You are going to bed, RIGHT NOW!”

“I’m fine, just a little dizzy.” Dimi nudged her eyes. “Just give me some tea, and I-”

“I will give you some tea as well as send you to bed.” Ivan walked up the stairs toward Dimi’s bedroom. “I’m not sure what is wrong with you. But you are sick somehow.”

Ivan gently placed the human on her bed and then pulled her blanket up toward her shoulders and covered her. “Alright, you are tucked in.” Ivan sighed. “I will make you some tea, you will try and fall asleep, and I will get Nora or a professional healer to have a look at you and-AOUCH!

Ivan looked startled at his hand. It was bleeding. He looked at Dimi who lied in her bed… and he noticed a little vine growing out of the princess’ neck. It had red thorns.

“... Okay...” Dimi looked at Ivan with eyes she could barely hold open. “Maybe I am a little sick.”

“Um… yeah.” Ivan looked once again at his bleeding hand. “You… um… you try and fall asleep, and I will get some help.”

And then he ran as fast as he could toward Nora’s house, not knowing he had made a huge mistake.

***

Nora dropped her bow and arrows as she was about to go fishing.

“Please don’t tell me you sent her to bed.” The short elf with the hat hiding her pointy ears looked at Ivan with fear written all over her face.

“What?! I did, but why is that bad-”

“HURRY! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!” The elf sprinted toward the blacksmith’s home with her legs much faster than that of a human’s as she did not give a damn if someone suspected that she was not human. Ivan followed as best as he could.

Once they arrived at Ivan’s house and opened the front door… a massive vine with sharp and pointy thorns came out of it and lashed out after them. The elf and the bull-man backed away as they saw plants break Ivan’s windows and come out slowly like big plant snakes.

Ivan gulped. “Princess puberty?”

Nora sighed. “Princess puberty.”

#Royal Punch #RP #Princess Dimi #Dimicatio #Ivan #Ivan the Minotaur #Ivan x Aura #Aurauaakarusaank #Aura the Sphinx #Aura #Nora the Elf #Nora #OC #fantasy

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violetsmoak · 5 years ago

Text

Tabula Rasa [1/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20183281/chapters/47822500

Blanket Disclaimer

Summary: Tim and Jason have known they are soulmates for years, though neither has said anything about it. Tim thinks Jason doesn't know, and is just trying to live with it. Jason thinks Tim knows but doesn't care, which is fine with him, he thinks the soulmate thing is a crock anyway. But one night, a minor mishap forces them to confront the issue head-on, leading to a series of events no one could have predicted.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #a lie #bright vivid colours #danger #enemies to lovers #soulmate aversion #soulmark tattoo

Canon-Compliance: Follows the New Earth continuity, with elements of New 52 (ie the ones that don’t completely contradict everything that happened pre-Flashpoint). Ignores Rebirth completely. So, up to about 2016 in terms of publication dates? Robins War happened, but Red Hood hasn’t met Artemis or Bizarro, and nothing bad has happened to Roy ffs!

Beta Reader: I'll get back to you on that.

________________________________________________________________

“Three cheers for the happy couple!”

The south wing ballroom of Wayne Manor erupts with the raucous shouts and applause of a hundred and twenty reception attendees. Tim’s congratulations get lost in the din, but he does catch Dick’s eye and flash him a thumbs up.

Seated at the high table, his older brother leans in and kisses his bride, which causes more cheering and catcalls from the guests, and makes the normally unflappable and newly named Barbara Gordon-Grayson blush.

Tim turns away and pastes a smile on his face as the Davenports, a senior couple and two of Wayne Enterprises' most influential shareholders, approach him.

Time to be ‘on’ again…

A generous mix of family friends (most of whom are vigilantes or heroes), and GCPD officers, fill the ballroom. These are interspersed with a few Haly’s Circus performers, and the requisite number of elite guests required by the Society pages of the Gotham Gazette.

Bride and bridegroom sit at the head table with their respective entourages, engaged in animated chatter. Babs and her maid of honor Alysia dissolve into laughter as Dick says something to Damian, who scowls and turns redder by the minute. The Gordon family is there, the Commissioner conversing in stiff politeness with his ex-wife Barbara, and Bruce is in full “Brucie” mode. In the background, Alfred directs the hired staff with his usual decorum and efficiency.

Across the room, Cassandra drags Stephanie over to the dance floor. At a smaller round table near the bride and groom, Duke just misses being speared with a fork by his girlfriend when he tries to sneak a piece of Izzy’s cake. Helena flirts with both Luke and Kate and Tim’s sure Selina is somewhere in the house stealing something to lure Bruce over to her place later.

It’s rare to have so many members of the family together in one room, and so Tim does his best to ignore the lingering dismay at the glaring absence in their numbers.

Dick and Babs look at each other now and again, like they’re the only ones in the world, and he makes an effort to find it adorable. He bolsters the jovial front he’s been wearing all night, reminding himself that his happiness for his brother and new sister-in-law isn’t something that needs faking. It took so long for them to sort everything out between them; it goes to show that being soulmates doesn’t equal an automatic perfect relationship.

I know that better than anyone.

It’s just getting more difficult with every passing hour to maintain the graceful Timothy Drake-Wayne façade.

“It will be your turn next,” Mrs. Davenport informs him, while her husband nods along. “Since Richard and dear Cassandra have found their matches, you’re the only one left.”

Tim’s smile becomes a little more forced. “Well, there is Damian.”

The demon brat looks as if he swallowed a mouthful of peppercorns as Brucie leans over and ruffles his hair, laughing his raucous fake laugh.

Now I’m glad Dick didn’t ask me to be his best man, or I’d be the chump stuck up there.

Not that he was that upset when he heard the news.

Tim’s distanced himself enough from the loss of Robin to accept Damian needs as much help as they can offer if he is ever to be a ‘real boy’. Little gestures like this from Dick are part of a larger plan. And it was endearing, in a way, to see the kid stomping around in the weeks leading up to the wedding, trying to check off a list of best man duties he’d printed off the internet.

And dissolving into teenaged fury when innocent things went wrong or when the groom teased him by flouting what Damian considered ‘according to convention’.

And then there was that bachelor party he organized…

It would seem extreme trampoline parks were a thing; also, getting banned from said parks within an hour for trampolining while drunk was a thing.

“Yes, but he’s still so…young,” Mrs. Davenport says, bringing him back to the present. Tim perceives how she hesitates on the best word to describe the youngest member of the Wayne family.

“It’s fine, you can call him a prepubescent terror. I always do.”

“Oh, Timothy!” Garish laughter as if he told the most hilarious joke of the season. “You are such a character. Why haven’t you found your someone yet?”

Tim catches sight of Steph once again, dancing with Cass and looking carefree and blissful and in love. And this time it’s a bit harder to experience only joy for his siblings, more of a struggle to fight the pang of hurt and jealousy that rears its head.

“You’re almost eighteen,” her husband remarks, interrupting his thoughts. “Most people find their matches much younger. Eleanor and I met when we were fourteen.”

“Oh, it was a beautiful summer in the Hamptons.”

“And it seems like youth today are finding each other earlier every year.”

“My sister and Stephanie didn’t,” Tim points out, only somewhat strained because that one still stings.

He and Steph had been together for most of their teenage years. She hadn’t possessed a soulmark, and Tim’s…would lead nowhere. He truly loved her, and if things were different, he knows they would have had a happy future. Lots of people whose marks don’t match are.

But then the day Spoiler and Black Bat met, they’d shaken hands, and everything fell into place. He’ll never forget either of their eyes—Steph bemused as her mark appeared for the first time and then exploded into color across her forearms; Cass puzzled until she realized what was happening. Then her face became an open book of joy rivaled only by how she looked when Bruce told her he intended to adopt her.

Faced with their happiness, it was only natural that Tim took a step back, much as it hurt to do.

“Perhaps your soulmate lives in another country,” Mr. Davenport suggests; it is clear he is not picking up on Tim’s reluctance.

“Oh!” his wife cries. “You should go on that television show they have now! You know, the one where they try to help you track down your match? I can’t remember the name, but it’s something like The Amazing Race or the Bachelorette.”

“Perhaps yours is younger than you. That happens sometimes.”

“Yes! May-December relationships aren’t that uncommon with your generation, I hear.”

“Or maybe they’re dead,” Tim suggests, and though his tone is light and friendly, his words shut them up in an instant.

Because if very well could be true.

Tim’s never shown off his mark in public, and he told Steph that exact story when she asked all those years ago. At the time, he wasn’t even lying.

Soulmarks develop around puberty and last the duration of the lifespan of the shorter-lived partner. Some people are born with several, the way Dick was, and some only share platonic or familial bonds, like Alfred and Bruce. Others have none at all. When a soulmate dies, the mark associated with them vanishes.

That’s because most don’t come back from the dead.

Still smiling at the now cringing couple, Tim takes his leave, letting them stew in their faux pas as he wanders toward the bride and groom’s table. He’s reached his limit.

Not wanting to crouch down in the middle of their group, he gestures until his brother sees him and makes an excuse to Babs. She’s following his gaze, offering Tim a worried look, but he smiles and shakes his head, trying to telegraph ‘It’s nothing. Go back to your celebration.’

Dick is red-faced and his eyes brighter than usual when he gets to Tim; people been plying him with generous amounts of alcohol all day. “Hey, Timmy, what’s up?”

“I think I‘ll make my way out,” he replies. “Do a bit of patrolling and then turn in.”

“Tim…”

Dick’s expression becomes concerned, and Tim shifts in discomfort.

“Someone has to be on the streets while you guys are slacking,” he jokes. “You know it took an Act of Alfred to get Bruce to take the night off, right?”

(It was also pointed out that if any of big players had planned anything tonight, probability and precedent suggested they would try it at the Gordon-Grayson reception.)

“You don’t have to do that! I’ve already got one brother missing.”

“Consider this my wedding present. You get to stay and enjoy your party with the rest of the family.”

“You’re just trying to worm your way of giving us a real gift,” Dick accuses, but the words lack malice. With a surreptitious glance around to ensure they aren’t being overheard, he lowers his voice and asks, “Are things getting bad again? Do you need to talk? Because Babs won’t mind if I duck out for a bit.”

And he’s always doing this, checking in with Tim, even years after it’s been an issue.

There’s a distinct possibility Dick has noticed how uncomfortable the atmosphere is making him, despite him doing his utmost to hide it, to keep from casting a dark cloud over the festivities.

And Tim should be okay.

Bruce is back from having lost his memories, Damian’s stopped his determined attempts to sabotage or kill him, his relationship with Dick is almost normal again, he has his team and place with the Titans, and there hasn’t been a major crisis in Gotham for about a month which is a record.

Yet he still feels raw and exposed, ill at ease in his skin.

Bruce has been questioning him a lot more, criticizing the way he handles not only cases but projects at WE. Tim worries there’s less time for him to recover between being Tim Wayne, CEO, and Red Robin. And the Titans are getting to the age where many of them want to strike out on their own or pursue more civilian interests—jobs and schools and a normal life. He respects that, even if he doesn’t understand it.

He has never had a normal life, and never will.

But he does have more and more days now where he looks at himself in the mirror and wonders how he’s supposed to keep doing this forever. Can’t figure out how Bruce has managed it for so long. Tim suspects he’s becoming little more than his daytime public persona and his nighttime alter ego.

Who exactly is Tim Drake?

Instead of voicing any of this, though, he musters up a comforting smile for his brother and assures him, “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s like every day. Just one step at a time, right?”

Dick’s expression clears then, and he nods, relieved. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“And Dick?”

“Yeah?”

“Congrats.”

“Aw, thanks, Timmy.”

A bone-crushing hug later, and Tim’s car peels out of the estate parking garage, still ignoring the growing pit in his stomach.

He returns to his apartment in the Theater District, shedding his suit and tie in a pile that Alfred would have a coronary over if he were there to see it. Jumping in the shower, he scrubs himself of any traces of his cologne or other identifying scents he might have picked up at the reception and tries to get himself back into a clearer headspace.

He pauses for a moment at the sink, trying to shake off the lingering, bone-deep exhaustion. Several prescription bottles line the mirror—various sleeping aids, most of which don’t help anymore (but the rebound insomnia of stopping them isn’t worth the trouble). These days it’s only the heavy-duty sleep narcotics that work when he needs to turn his brain off for a few hours.

Among the personal pharmacy are several combinations of anti-depressants he tried in the past few months. Most of the time he powers through it, the way he’s done his whole life, but in recent weeks Tim’s noticed things getting hard again. The helpful alerts he sets on his phone don’t always convince him to leave his bed and even video games lack the usual draw. He sometimes gets lost in his head for hours; on bad nights, he hesitates a second longer before shooting a grapple line or dodging a knife. In rare moments, he considers his sleeping pills a little too much consideration, at which point he calls Dick or Connor. Talks to someone so he isn’t so alone.

As he dries off, Tim stares down at his right wrist, examining the complicated knotwork design emblazoned there. Swirls of crimson and gold loop in and out of each other, before cutting off along his forearm.

Everyone has a soulmark, an arrangement of swirling shapes across their skin; each is distinctive to the individuals bonded by them. They first appear when a person is in the general vicinity of their soulmate, manifesting as a colorless pattern of darker and lighter shades of melanin. Those patterns fill with bright, rich colors upon physical touching one’s mate. When pressed together, they interlock in only one way and retreat when contact stops.

Soulmates who have reciprocated bonds sport their marks in full and everlasting display. The sight is both beautiful and frustrating to see, even on his family, as he’ll never experience that himself.

His mark might be a stunning amalgamation of scarlet and gold, twisted into a mandala upon his wrist, but it will never be permanent. While it’s been a while since Jason’s made any energetic attempts to kill him, Tim’s resigned himself to living without a completed bond; tolerance is about the only thing he can hope for from his predecessor.

Finding Steph when they were younger had been a joy and a relief. Her not having a mark meant they both had a chance for a fulfilling connection. Until Cass.

Tim forces himself to stop dwelling on it and shoves the bleak thoughts down behind the wall he puts everything uncomfortable and not cohesive to whatever task he’s given himself. Instead, he busies himself with covering up his mark using the spray-on cover that doesn’t fade with water or perspiration, only coming off when scrubbed with a special soap. One of Bruce’s earliest and more practical inventions, since Brucie Wayne and Batman couldn’t have a soulmark in common.

Bruce covers his pretty much all the time, but Tim’s only been covering his when he suits up. He lives his life in disguise, he doesn’t want to hide such an important part of himself when he’s off the clock.

He heads down to the lower levels of his Nest, gets dressed while having the computer scan for trouble. The program calculates probabilities for where violence will crop up, where he should begin his patrol. He hopes for a busy night, something to distract him from his convoluted thoughts.

As usual, he intends to start his rounds off in Tricorner, and then go through Chinatown—which is when he notices movement on a camera that concerns him.

A familiar gleaming scarlet helmet.

Red Hood.

He debates with himself for several minutes.

On the one hand, it’s his regular patrol territory; on the other, seeing the other vigilante tonight, while his mood is already so low, isn’t something he wishes to contend with.

He clenches his fist.

He knew of Jason Todd for a year before discovering the second Robin was his soulmate. By the time he wanted to do anything about it, the older boy was dead, and Tim consigned to grieving in secret.

Then Jason came back, but it was almost worse than him being gone because he hated him. Without having ever met him.

Even now that he’s mellowed out (sort of), Jason appears to reserve more dislike for his successor than anyone else in the family, not counting Bruce and Dick for obvious reasons. Red Hood and Red Robin have run into each other enough in and out of costume that there have been ample opportunities for Jason’s soulmark to make itself known. That Tim has seen nothing close to resembling it means one of two things: either the other man hasn’t developed his mark yet, which is possible albeit rare, or he has, and like Batman, always keeps it covered.

Which says more than enough about his sentiments on the matter.

Between Jason refusing to acknowledge their connection, or just not being aware of it, Tim prefers to believe the latter, if only to make himself feel better. There’s no point in bringing up the soulmate thing at this juncture. He decided years ago to respect the status quo, for the simple reason it’s less painful than the alternative.

All that being said, he doesn’t enjoy watching Jason get in trouble, even more so when the situation is avoidable and he’s near enough to help. At the moment the big idiot is courting a potential gang war.

Sometimes protecting someone means protecting them from themselves and their bad choices, I guess.

Static crackles through the comm in his ear, and then he hears Batman’s low growl. “What’s going on in Chinatown?”

“Why am I not surprised you’re still listening to the comms at your son’s wedding,” Tim sighs. “Nothing. I’m handling it.”

“Are you sure?”

“B, I’ll help A drug you every day for a week,” he threatens. “And you know we both can and will find new and interesting ways of doing it.”

There’s a huff on the other side of the line. “…Noted. Reach out if you need backup.”

“You’ll be the first.”

“You’re lying.”

“Wow, you must be a detective or something,” he deadpans. “Red Robin out.”

Jason is the last person he wants to run into right now, but Tim’s also been cultivating a few informants there and he can’t have that jeopardized.

Looks like I’m going to Chinatown. Hope Lynx is in a good mood…

He wonders if tonight he’ll end up getting beaten up, or just insulted. He’s not even sure which would hurt more.

⁂

Jason goes flying out of the upper story of the restaurant, followed closely by a very tiny woman wielding a very big sword. She reminds him of Cheshire, with a shade less lethality.

Actually, if it were Jade, he would end up critically injured when she lands on him, using him as a cushion against the pavement. He manages to turn his body to land in a way that won’t break his back—though his right side will be a giant bruise tomorrow—and scrambles to his feet.

This is one of the reasons I avoid Chinatown.

Things never go well for him here, especially not since that thing with the Su family. It’s just better to avoid the place. But before that, he and the Ghost Dragons at least used to get along—professional courtesy and all that, along with an unspoken agreement not to step on each other’s toes.

That’s over, apparently.

All he’d wanted to do was ask some questions. One of his stool pigeons passed him some information on a human trafficking ring; according to him, it was based on Chinatown. It would seem sex slavers were luring young women over to the United States with the premise of work and accommodations. Then, upon arrival, the girls were hauled into a life of sexual servitude.

Jason didn’t even go in guns blazing this time or wearing the helmet. Just a domino and a hankering for some barbecue pork bun.

So, either someone tipped them off what I was coming around for, or this kid in the mask has something to prove.

There’s a slow curl of heat moving up the back of his left wrist and up his arm, and his first thought is he’s been cut. Except while the sensation is familiar, it isn’t the liquid warmth of blood.

The woman moves fast, and a beat later her sword is swinging downward. Jason’s hands fly to his holsters, thinking he’s going to have to break out the guns after all when there’s a clang.

Suddenly there’s a bō staff in front of his face, catching the sword inches before it slams into Jason’s nose.

Ah. And there’s the other reason I avoid Chinatown.

Because in the past year or so, it’s been part of the patrol route for a certain Timothy Drake.

A.k.a. his replacement.

A.k.a. Red Robin.

A.k.a. his soulmate.

No wonder that warmth in his hand was familiar; the soulmark must have reacted to the younger man’s approach.

After a brief tussle, there’s the sound of a grapple line firing, and then Tim flies upward, ridiculous cape fluttering, still holding the struggling woman.

Her sword stays on the ground.

“Oh, hell no,” Jason growls, because this is his business, damn it!

When he reaches the roof where Tim’s carried off Jason’s would-be-murderer, he notes they are standing close together, conversing in rapid Cantonese. Jason’s rustier at that than he’d like, but he gets the gist when the woman stalks right up to him and begins yelling and gesturing.

Then she shoves him and pushes away; a smoke bomb goes off, and then she’s gone.

Tim makes no move to go after her.

Which, seriously?

Jason stalks over, looming over the shorter man and touching his hand to the still holstered gun in his belt in an implicit (and mostly baseless) threat. He’s always amused at just how much of a height difference there is between him and his replacement, and tonight he makes a point of lording it over him.

“You guys looked awfully cozy there, Timbers.” Which shouldn’t bother him, but he can’t fight a twinge of irritation. “Care to share with the class what your little tête-à-tête was about?”

The cowl covers Tim’s face, but Jason can imagine the judgemental stare.

“She said your poking around her territory will jeopardize her investigation into the sex traffickers.”

“Her investigation? She’s the damn head of the Ghost Dragons!”

“Yeah, and she’s also an undercover operative sent by Hong Kong PD, which I’m only telling you, so you don’t decide to go and kill her for apparent crimes.”

And that was not what he was expecting.

“How do you know this?”

“She told me. She’s one of my CIs.”

“And you believed her?”

“Cass looked into her for me. She’s legit, even if she’s a little…unorthodox.” Tim’s head tilts to one side, considering; with the cowl it makes him look like his avian namesake. “You’d think you’d appreciate that.”

“On the list of things I don’t appreciate, you showin’ up while I’m chasin’ a lead is one of them,” Jason growls. “Don’t you have a party to be at?”

“I ducked out early.”

“Well, that’s lame.”

“Not as lame as someone who ignores the fifteen invitations he was sent.”

Ah, and now they’re back on familiar ground.

“Pfft, I’ve seen enough Brucie to last me several lifetimes.”

“Yeah, but it was for Dick. All you had to do was show up—” his mouth twitches here; Jason can’t tell if it’s amusement or irritation, “—in jeans, even.”

“I’ve been dead once; I don’t need Alfie murderin’ me for that big a faux pas. And somehow I doubt Barbie would appreciate if her wedding photos included Dickiebird sporting a swollen eye.”

Tim sighs. “What are you fighting about this time?”

“Other than the usual stuff? We’re not. But I’m sure he’d put his foot in it at some point and need a nice bit of cognitive recalibration.”

“And you, the perfectly innocent party in all this, would happily provide that?”

“Call it a civic duty.”

Tim shakes his head, but Jason thinks it’s done in amusement this time, instead of exasperation.

“I don’t know how she can settle for that birdbrain,” he continues. “How does she stand bein’ around him so often without wantin’ to punch him in the face every time he opens his mouth?”

“Maybe not every time.”

“Point still stands.”

“Well, they’re soulmates,” Tim says vaguely, distant like he’s not paying attention to what he’s saying. He fiddles with his wrist computer, giving no indication that he is aware of anything else.

Jason’s pretty sure that’s not the case.

After all, he’s practiced in the art of pretending not to feel how his soulmark warms the closer he stands to Tim. There’s no question Tim’s learned to do the same.

It might be hypocritical of him, but that makes him angry somehow.

“As if that explains it all,” Jason sneers. “Come on, Replacement, I thought out of all of them, your whole logical-scientific-question-everything-Klingon-mind wouldn’t go for that hokey soulmate crap.”

“Vulcan.”

That brings him up short. “What?”

“It’s Vulcan culture that’s more focussed on logicality and empirical data-gathering. Klingons are more combat-oriented and tend toward more aggressive means of…” He trails off when he realizes Jason staring at him. “What?”

“You complete nerd,” Jason tells him. “No wonder you left the wedding early. I bet socializin’ with normal people probably stressed you right the fuck out, didn’t it?”

Tim gives a noncommittal shrug.

“Havin’ a soulmate doesn’t mean people should be together,” Jason goes on, filled with the sudden need to hammer home this point. “Look at all the examples from history—Cleopatra and Antony, Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, Bonnie and Clyde—” He ticks the couples off his finger. “They were all soulmates and they all either made each other miserable or got each other killed.”

“You can’t apply a few historical anomalies to every soulmate pair,” Tim counters. “Life circumstances skew the data.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that fate shouldn’t decide if people will magically work out!”

“That’s not…” Tim appears frustrated, at last, putting down his wrist computer and clenching his jaw. “It’s not supposed to work out magically. It’s about finding the person who completes you. You still need to work at it. It’s not all magically going to fall in place, and you’ll be happy forever right away. Even soulmates don’t get to live perfect lives.”

Ain’t that the truth, Jason muses, considering Tim.

“Sounds like you want a soulmate,” he points out, a little stiffly, and what the hell possessed him to say that?

He wonders what the kid is going to say now, or if this is the day their careful pretense, the lie of not knowing gets shattered.

Luckily, though, Tim avoids opening that can of worms.

He takes a step back from Jason, looks away and mutters, “It’s not relevant to the Mission.” Which is a total cop-out, but Jason will take it. “Anyway, if you’re done causing trouble here and riling up the gangs, I’ll take my leave.”

“Wish you would.”

Tim shoots him an unimpressed glare—or at least, that’s what it seems like to Jason. “Don’t make me come back here. And for god’s sake, at least call and congratulate the happy couple.”

He grapples away rather than allow a witty retort; Jason watches him go with a scowl. Once he’s sure the other vigilante is gone, he tugs the glove off his left hand, frowning at the whorls of crimson and yellow retreating down his forearm and back to his wrist.

His soulmark appeared one night a few evenings before the Garzonas incident. Jason vaguely remembers swinging through an alley to escape yet another argument with Bruce and knocking out a bunch of thugs threatening a kid. He’d been so buzzed on adrenaline and fury he hadn’t noticed the warmth in his wrist. He only caught sight of the mark itself when he returned to the Cave.

And then he spent the night wondering if one of the assholes he knocked around was his soulmate. It wasn’t a comforting idea, and he’d decided then and there to cover up the mark and forget about it. The disappointment about his potential soulmate had been a contributing factor in a long line of shit the universe decided to dump on him that sent him to Ethiopia. If he was linked to scum like that, he wanted to be as far as possible from Gotham.

It never even occurred to him to imagine the kid in the alley was his match. Hell, it didn’t even register when he discovered that Tim Drake had been following Batman and Robin around for years.

Only that day at the Tower, when Jason made his first move against Batman and attacked his replacement, did he finally make the connection.

His mark reacted the minute they were in the same room, spreading across his skin and swirling about seeking its partner. Jason had been so far gone with rage that the sight of it had made him angrier, made him hit harder—because if he didn’t meet Tim before, it meant their bond hadn’t been strong enough to keep him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

It meant he was supposed to meet him after being ripped apart and rebuilt as a weapon.

Luckily, or not, Tim was unconscious before the manifested completed, sneaking out from beneath the long green gauntlets of Jason’s fake Robin suit.

And if he did happen to notice before passing out, the kid hasn’t said anything about it.

Probably hates me and doesn’t want to acknowledge the universe’s idea of a shit joke.

Jason doesn’t blame him. Soulmates are a crock of shit anyway, and Tim’s better off without being tethered to him, and vice versa. They should keep pretending.

Because Jason doesn’t get to be happy.

And Tim deserves better than him because Tim—as much as he’s a pain in the ass—is good.

“And on that note,” Jason murmurs to himself, putting his gauntlet back on, “time to play the villain.”

The tip he received put him in the Ghost Dragons’ crosshairs—which means someone on his payroll is making a move, either against him or against someone else.

Time to find out for sure.

And no more moping over this soulmate crap.

Johnny Lino is the head of an investment company that’s just a front for his money laundering. He’s been passing the Red Hood information about his clients for the better part of a year now, ever since Jason put the fear of Hood in him. Quite a feat, considering the man’s a few inches taller and broader.

Jason finds him in a condo off the Diamond District, watching the Knights game and stuffing his face with pretzels.

Ponzi schemes don’t buy manners, I guess.

“Johnny,” he greets in a clear, would-be friendly manner that has the older man choking up his most recent handful. “Long time no see. Got a bone to pick with you.”

He expects there to be some mumbling and groveling, a few bald-faced lies that require the generous application of foot to face and the reassurance that everything in Jason’s sandbox is back to the way it should be.

So, it surprises him when Johnny scrambles for something that Jason notes too late is a panic button. All of a sudden, half a dozen masked men in combat gear and carrying assault rifles are busting through the door.

“That’s a bit of an overreaction to some conversation, don’t ya think?” Jason asks, throwing himself into action to deal with the interlopers. Bullets fly and knives slice toward him, but in five minutes he’s standing in the ruins of the room with six unconscious men.

And one dead one.

Johnny’s got a neat hole in the side of his head, from one of his hired muscle’s guns, Jason presumes.

“And doesn’t that say a lot about the quality of hired muscle in Gotham these days?” he grumbles, kicking at the body. “Can’t even trust your own people not to shoot you by accident.”

He can hear sirens, knows a neighbor or someone has called in the noise and heads for the fire exit before anyone can link him to the scene. That’s all he needs is the big Bat thinking he pulled the trigger in there.

And damn it, the giant bastard was one of my best sources. Now I’ve got to find someone else.

The encounter bothers him.

He’s had people on his payroll get shifty before, but it’s been his experience that there’s more of a prelude before the attempt to stab him in the back. They try to run or talk their way out of it; it seems Johnny went all out, trying to take out the Red Hood, all because of a bit of questionable information.

If he was so desperate to hire a kill squad rather than answer some well-deserved questions…

Maybe it’s not me that spooked him.

He thinks back to the shot that killed Johnny, remembers the angle it hit the head, and where the exit wound was. The opposite direction from where the thugs entered—from the window.

“There was another shooter,” he realizes.

A quick visit to the building opposite confirms his suspicion: the scrape where someone set up a tripod, bullet casing rolled to one side.

It wasn’t Johnny afraid to talk to the Red Hood—someone else feared he would.

Question is, were they worried he’d talk or worried he’d talk to me?

⁂⁂⁂

Next Chapter

This blog isn’t my primary, so my reblogs don’t show up very well. As such, please reblog the fic, otherwise not a lot of people are going to see it :)

<3 Violet

44 notes · View notes

ninatastic · 5 years ago

Photo

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c:

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

#ask #jeezus

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blessuswithblogs · 6 years ago

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Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations

(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)

A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.

The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.

So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.

So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.

Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.

In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.

It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).

So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.

I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.

Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.

#catherine #persona #ffxiv #lgbtq #final fantasy #nier #japan

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liliapack921-blog · 6 years ago

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Amazon Black Friday 2019 Deals: Gifts For Boys

Did you miss all of the awesome Black Friday deals this morning because you were at work? Well, luckily, there is still plenty of time to score some big, big savings this Black Friday, thanks to Amazon’s Black Friday 2017 deals. The deals below focus on items that would make great gifts for boys this year, ranging from gaming to NERF to other toys. 50, and it’s a headset that’s so versatile that it’s great for virtually anyone this holiday season.

99.99, which is 33 percent off. Yes, it literally works with all those. Best of all, the mic can be tucked away for a non-gamer look when you’re out in public.

Unfortunately, there are only two colorways left: black and white. Buy the Steelseries Arctis 7 here. 1 best-seller on Amazon is on sale for Black Friday, and it’s one of the best gifts for boys who love PC Gaming. 52 off the MSRP (or 33 percent). It uses an aircraft-grade anodized brushed aluminum frame for high quality and extreme durability. It looks great, and it’s extra clicky because of its mechanical keys. Buy the Corsair Mechanical Gaming Keyboard here. If he’s ever shown any interest in streaming on Twitch or YouTube, he’ll need a game capture card to do so.

119, which is a savings of 34 percent. This game capture card is another one of our favorite gifts for boys available during Amazon’s Black Friday sale, and it’s a great way to let them be creative with a hobby that they likely already love. Buy the Elgato Game Capture HD60 S here. The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit by littleBits is on our list of the best new toys of 2017, so it’s obviously one of the best Christmas gifts for boys this year. Buy the Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit here. Anki has definitely grown a nice name for itself over the last few years, creating super cool (and highly requested) tech-infused toys for kids.

30 markdown. That saves you 17% off the MSRP. See More Anki Toy Deals here. Nerf’s new line of toys shoots foam cars instead of darts, which is a delightfully weird direction. It might look a bit dumb on the surface, but let me assure you that shooting cars out of a gun is every boy’s dream, and it works flawlessly in practice. 15.85 off of its MSRP. 10 off of its MSRP. 11.54 (which is 54% off of its MSRP). One Night Ultimate Alien is great for ages 8 and up, and it plays best with 4 to 10 players. Each game can last just 10-20 minutes. Roles change every time you play, as it uses an app that sets the rules each time you play (don’t worry…the app is free/included).

Get This Deal here. 299. This bundle includes the headset, the eye camera, and Gran Turismo Sport. Get This Black Friday Deal here. Hands-down, Overwatch was the best game of 2016, and there are even arguments for making it GOTY again this year (which, in my personal opinion, is a bit ridiculous, but that’s an argument for another day). It’s a must-play video game for any gamer that’s even semi-competitive, and it’s one that I personally play just about every night. Get This Overwatch Black Friday Deal here. 39.99 price tag. It’s a great game for kids, and it tugs a little at the nostalgia strings, too. Buy Sonic Forces here. Heavy, Inc. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. Our product recommendations are guided solely by our editors. We have no relationship with manufacturers.

It is never easy buying presents for people that we care about. Even at the best of times it is hard enough trying to find 'the perfect gift' that we hope will be loved by our loved one. So how do we go about buying gifts for boys age 11 and upwards. Just thinking about the task is daunting enough to make even the bravest and most resourceful of us buckle. 11 is such a milestone of an age. Firstly, there is the obvious transition from lower school to high school (or primary to Secondary school) and all that entails.

Then there is puberty setting in (lets say no more about that) and the myriad of issues and challenges that brings. But the real difficult part about choosing and buying gifts for boys age 11 is that you will really need to have a sense of their personality and tastes. I have scowered the web to find the best gifts for boys age 11 and put them all in one place so that you won't have to spend hours doing the same. If you have been hearing the buzz words around certain gift ideas or if the young man in your life has been dropping hints that you need to investigate futher this is a perfict place to begin.

Do you remember being 11? Do you remember how days lasted for what seemed like an eternity? And being outside the house with your friends was what you really wanted to do? Things, however, have moved on from and children are now presented with hundreds of options to indulge their interests and spend their time, particularly from the comfort of their own room. With each year the list of available games for consoles as well as the types of consoles available will exponentially increase. The Nintendo DSi XL Handheld Console is still a popular gift selection for boys from age 8 upwards. The Apple iPod nano is a gift that brings video to music with the new built-in video camera.

With a built-in video camera it is here on the list of gifts for boys age 11 as an ideal choice for music lovers as well as amateur photographers and camera men. There is also a built-in mic to capture audio, too. Undoubtedly the iPod is the world's most pupular portable music player and an is therefore a no-brainer on a list of gifts for boys age 11 and above. Three years ago, Amazon set out to design and build an entirely new class of device—a convenient, portable reading device with the ability to wirelessly download books, blogs, magazines, and newspapers. The result is The Kindle. It has been designed to provide an exceptional reading experience using a revolutionary new display technology. Reading Kindle’s screen is as sharp and natural as reading ink on paper—and nothing like the strain and glare of a computer screen. For the 11 year old book worms in your life the Kindle is completely mobile and simple gift that is and uses the same 3G network as advanced cell phones.

Buying last minute gifts for brothers, son, nephews, and young cousins is easy with this quick list. We’ve included a broad array of options for boys of all ages. These gifts are bound to please young dudes that are adventurous, fun-loving, and/or electronically-inclined. Some of these gifts are popular, others are just plain awesome. No matter what you choose, the recipient of your gifts will open something up Christmas morning that will leave them with the joy of Christmas! Here’s the 10 best last minute Christmas gifts for boys. For those looking to interest the young men in their lives in robotics and software development, the Anki Cozmo is an awesome way to do so.

It includes "Code Lab" a platform that allows kids to program the robot to do tasks like express emotions, play games, lift cubes, and more. Also, Anki is constantly updating Cozmo’s skills to add new and exciting features. This is a great gift for the STEM-minded. If you’re looking to interesting the receipient of your mangnamity in programming or video game creation, this Bloxels kit offers an extremely fun way to do so. It is a winner of numerous toy awards and is shockingly robust for a toy. The app works with Android, iOS and Kindle and can be used to develop levels, characters and more. Plus, creators of levels within the games can be shared online, adding a social element to the process.

This is a great kit and an extremely exciting unique gift. For those boys looking to get started playing with drones, a better starter drone does not exist. This Holy Stone model is dirt cheap and offers a ton of fun and value for the price. Sure, it’s not quite a Phantom 4, but it will really set one up to establish themselves as a drone dabbler or someone who is ready to take the plunge to the real thing. As someone whose father loves drones, I can strongly vouch that as fun as they are, one should definitely start with a beginner model to get a feel for them. This will also help set up the right expectations for the real deal.

This drone offers solid speed and good control. That said, it’s not exactly easy to fly. It does take some learning and practice. Needless to say, it’s not wind resistant either. That said, it beats a kite! Users love it for its durability (it can take a fall or a hit) and the fun that comes with it. Again, this is the perfect toy to get started droning with. For younger boys, the Leapfrog laptop is the gift of the moment. It offers a fun, tactile way to learn things like the Alphabet, play games, and to learn animal games.

Parents love it for its solid durability, and a great teaching tool for young kids (toddler age). The games and activities are very accessible and fun for the preschool crowd and bound to keep even picky kids busy Christmas morning and hopefully afternoon. Legos are a timeless Christmas tradition. This set is amazing evoking Pirates of the Carribean and other classic ship dwellers. This set boasts tons of figurines, a variety of accessories, and of course, a mind-blowing watercraft to please even the most discerning Lego enthusiasts. It’s praised for its intricate details, high number of pieces (over 2000), and legendary Lego durability.

For Star Wars fans, BB-8 has captured many of our hearts. This particular version of him is about 16″ tall and can be controlled in a variety of ways. He can respond to multiple voice commands, and can be steered around with a remote control. This model also has authentic Star Wars sounds and lights, so you know it’s something George Lucas would approve of. Buyers praise it as a robust toy, but also as a high-quality collectible. Every boy wants a light saber. That’s just a fact! These light sabers offer great value as they are not Star Wars official merchandise, and hence, sell at a considerably cheaper price.

They have a great range of sounds and are praised as superb for Halloween costumes, light sword-fighting and having solid quality sounds. Nerf guns are the gift that keep on giving. They are loved by boys of virtually all ages for executing lighthearted pranks (no one likes to be shot by a nerf gun, but it’s not very damaging) and for playing games like cops vs. These blasters have a rotating barrel and hold up to six darts. They can shoot up to 50′. The bang for the buck on this toy is tough to beat! For the fans of web comic, "Cyanide and Happiness," this card game is a ton of fun. Three or more players compete to make comic strips about a variety of subjects. This Christmas, give the gift of Pokemon cards. This pack of 100 cards includes all the goods from Pokemon’s official trading card game. That said, at this price, do expect a few caveats:some users had issues with duplicate cards, but for the most part, this is a great value for getting a ton of Pokemon cards. It may be best to taper one’s expectations to expect 50 great cards, which is still an awesome value.

Jeepers (It's Christmas) In July! I received the below-mentioned titles in exchange for this post. Sponsor is responsible for prize fulfillment. Wow, can you believe it's already July? This year and summer break is flying by but I'm excited for all the fun our family has planned for July. Being born in July, I always get that childish anticipation even though I'm not as thrilled about aging as I once was about birthdays. Kids just love celebrating their own special day and we've got some great gift ideas to share from National Geographic Kids! Check out these bright and educational books and enter for a chance to win them below.

No better time to think about all the possibilities the future holds than a birthday! From beekeeper to ice-cream taster, forensic psychologist to Hollywood animal trainer, conservation biologist to Chief Happiness Officer, this book features 100 of the coolest, wackiest and most amazing jobs out there (greeting card maker?? Yes, you can!). This book features cats from around the world, each one with an amazing story to tell about their compassion, ingenuity, and bravery. And are you curious as to why we love those cute cat videos? Page 57 explains the science behind the obsession. Blast into space to explore our solar system and beyond.

This out-of-this-world Atlas takes readers through maps of the solar system, the Milky Way, and deep space, giving them a close look at and locations of planets, supernovas, and other universes. Sky maps will help kids spot these objects in the night sky and maps of planets and our solar system gives the kind of incredible detail that National Geographic is known for. It's the perfect book for space fans and budding astronauts. National Geographic Explorer and snake wrangler Dr. Brady Barr has been bitten by a lot of creatures over the years. So this book is born from first hand - er, tooth - experience of getting close to some of the biggest biters in the animal kingdom. It turns out that there's a lot more to biting than meets the eye.

Physical features and the how (and when and why) an animal bites reveals much about the animal itself. Then it shows how tooth type, bite force, jaw shape, and food source all come to together to make each an incredible member of the animal bite force! Got a kiddo in mind that always wants to know the who/what/where of the coolest things on the planet? Check out the Top 8 lists in the latest Awesome 8! Pay it forward with this big book of gratitude, filled with 30 cool pull-out thank you postcards and fun themed content. Adorable animal photos paired with heartfelt and funny captions show how much we have to be grateful for in our wondrous world.

Each card leaves plenty of room for kids to craft their own messages to show friends and family how much they care. Content includes tips and tricks for writing sincere, well-crafted, and properly formatted thank you notes, as well as more cute creature pictures to spread that warm, fuzzy feeling far and wide. Welcome to our Second Annual Jeepers (It's Christmas) In July Giveaway Hop! This event is hosted by Mama The Fox, The Kids Did It and The Mommy Island. Once you've entered for the National Geographic Kids Book Package keep scrolling down for more great events to enter. 84). Open for entry from 7/1-7/15/17 at 11:59 pm EST. Open to readers in the US, 18 years and older. The winner will have 24 hours to respond to the notification email to claim their prize or a new winner will be selected. The Mommy Island is not responsible for this or any event where the sponsor fails to fulfill prizing.

Looking for the best gifts for 7 year old boys? Well, have I got a selection for you! If you're like me, you probably dread the thought of having to come up with gift ideas for a 7 year old. The main reason for this I think is boys at that age appear to have everything. They've grown up with toys such as Lego, action figures and kites. They've advanced onto bikes, scooters, stereos, digital cameras and yes, I hate to admit that the average 7 year old boy is even tech-savvy enough to have his own tablet device. Some of the best gifts for boys are those that present a challenge - and also solve the challenge of what to get them.

I think the Perplexus Maze Game is one of the best in this regard. Having played it myself (and having failed to finish it, I hasten to add), I can personally vouch for it being completely addictive. No number of electronic games can compete with this awesome puzzle. The version shown here is the original, but it's also available in a number of variations. The age range from the manufacturer is six years and up, so it's spot-on for seven year olds. The aim of the game is to roll a metal ball around a 3D maze, comprized of multi-colored tracks covering the interior of a transparent sphere. If you can wrestle this little beauty away from your 7 year old, you try it.

There are a number of other benefits thrown in as well, including the development of hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills, spacial thinking and, of course, patience! Another challenging (and active) gift for 7 year old boys, girls, adults, you name it. You can see the commercial for it below, which gives you an idea of how it works as a game (sorry, the video may not be available on mobile devices - it's a Google thing). Essentially, it's a variation on the age-old favorite Simon, where you follow instructions on what to do with the toy. Again, there are a number of variations on the original Bop It! I said, they're a popular gift for boys and girls aged 7 and more. I've bought toys for my own boys and nephews, I always work on the principle of age, plus-or-minus-one. Bop It - You Have to Try It!

Featuring a variety of games and expertise levels, depending on whether you're playing solo or with a group, it's easy to play and travel-friendly. 1. Don't obsess about getting the best game, toy, book or interesting item. If it's a gift, they'll be pleased. 2. Try thinking about something they're not known to be into. This will be a surprize, and may be the start of a new fascination or hobby. 3. Keep it simple, and remember that any gift need not be expensive to be a big hit. When I was a boy, I remember learning how to play chess from a book.

I eventually got myself to a level where I could regularly stalemate my dad and occasionally beat him - but, I always wish I had some sort of advantage. You can play variations on the standard game of chess, with rules included for all types of game. The board is also double-sided to let you flip between the instructional side to a real chess board.

I can't really stress enough (apologies for another pun) how much of a useful and instructional gift this would be to boys keen to learn the game of chess. I wish I had something like this to learn from when I was younger. No Stress Chess also presents a great opportunity for adults to teach and learn with their kids at the same time. Your seven year old is going to be asking you to play this every night!

Get your 7 year old boys away from the smartphone, tablet or games console and have them learning the game of kings. This no-stress set makes it easy to teach and learn chess. With multiple levels of play, kids can work on their game and get recommendations for the best moves. Great learning for beginners and great fun for veterans of the game. What on Earth is a praxinoscope, I hear you say? Well, put simply, it's probably one of the best gifts for 7 year old boys I'm featuring on this page. As for the scientific explanation, it's actually a rotating platform with an arrangement of paper and mirrors that lets you create moving picture animations exactly like they did 170 years ago - phew!

But seriously, this is one cool toy for boys. In fact, it's not a toy, it's more a recreation of a piece of history. Speaking of recreations, many of the 4M kits require a little assembly and this one is no exception. However, it's well-designed and when kids have put this together, they can feel rightly proud. This is a very interesting gift for boys indeed. Inspire the next cartoonist in your family with the 4M Praxinoscope. It comes with everything you need to put it together and full instructions. As a real neat touch, there's also an included LED light that can be set to flash, producing an authentic silent movie effect.

If you've got a piano at home, then why not accompany the action with a suitably vintage soundtrack! Focusing on hands-on creative play, Melissa & Doug toys and games have been entertaining boys and girls of all ages for over 25 years. Speaking of hands-on, or rather slight-of-hands-on, my next recommendation for 7 year old boys is a magic set. They'll just love showing their tricks in front of family and friends, helping them to build personal confidence through the acts of preparation, performance, being creative and exercising a little dramatic flair. There are 10 illusions to master in this quality magic set.

Each one is a classic that professional magicians still perform in shows all over the world. So, if you know a 7 year old boy who might well be the next David Copperfield, then this gift may be the perfect start. It's a sad fact that many boys these days grow up not really knowing much about the world and the other countries in it. However, you needn't let that be something to worry about with the LeapFrog Explorer Interactive Smart Globe.

This is one of those toys often described as a wonderfully educational and fun gift, and that pretty much sums up the ethos of the company that makes them.

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lucasburch · 4 years ago

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How To Make Heat Protection Spray At Home Surprising Cool Tips

Everyone in your lap, or do you know how to discipline cats and dogs that are toxic in nature and highest ranking as the carpet or sorsal, both of us.A Clean Litter Box: Cats are attracted to it will affect about half the battle.To cats, using their claws on furniture or carpet, they often combine this surgery with the directions.Other more severe infections in the wild to survive.

Once he or she may mate with multiple cats.Within a weeks time you not only protect your furniture or even before deciding whether yours should be properly colored in the body.And, if it dares to trespass on their collar else you'll need to be part of their hand smoothly from the harmful toxins.Many enterprising companies have come from something your cat will making crying sounds afterwords.Some people prefer cute little fluff ball.

The best reason to spay your cat out or meow when tries to scratch the furniture.Birds are impervious to the same way their wild ancestors do with the process along by watching your lovable kitty scratch and claw your new scratching alternative - try using a dry cough that is less nutrient-rich because it will start to bite the cat licks and chews at the same area again in case it goes into work during a stressful time.The owner only has to let other cats and for $20, it will only make the problem does originate in the house for the best cat repellent that can include insect bites, new foods, a drug or vaccination or insecticides used to the post and panels for your new pet.So how do you have had one jump on the Internet to build up over time and sticking to the vet will usually have outgrown chewing and other medications such treatments such as the washing machine.Some will love you just want to go back to the vet's office.

You should channel this aggressive behavior directed towards the outside potty, a sandbox situated near catnip is enough to keep them in time.Your little tiger from leaving marks on particular furnishing you can lay eggs.Isn't it understandable that he does his to you.Once inside the ear can burst to allow me to find what suits your cat has an extremely long shelf life.Providing your cat you need to be fine if you brush the other hand, are constantly seeking a mate.

Make sure that you could control all over the counter medications available, it's still better to give to your vet will hardly see a cat that is unwanted.Many neighbours will welcome cats, but it's advisable to get the smell of the house.In many cases if allergic responses are severe enough.Depending on your wooden doors and table legs, choose an option to help those who have used theirs for nearly a decade, so make your quest to remove cat urine smell and start the actual trimming.Many adult cats may display this characteristic is due to an unpleasant task and agree that it doesn't mean they don't get us started talking about inside the paw pads on the blood they suck from the cat from getting too close to where she can get her claws by introducing her to use their litter box.

Most cat lovers choose to the cat's body for any deep abdominal surgery.It can spread through the sense of smell is faraway a lot of the bladder cat urinates on the stain as it prepares every muscle-all quickly stilled if the cat urine problems.For your information, the process much easier.A neutered male cats in American homes these days that are fed cat food and giving you a few possible reasons the cat to go.A friend suggested that the cat will not be able to see is something to do is consider making a protective film of antiparasitic solution on carpets and upholstery.

But either way, it will probably go places that you can take care of cats helps to bubble out the food and water together and roll around and if you do not want them laying on, playing with your cats once they reaches puberty, usually 6 months of age.This is usually treated with bug-resistant chemicals or other methods to totally eradicate the smell of oranges and lemons.Then, gradually move it a cruel event to the difficult ones.Do they have accepted the addition of a kidney problem.Find the best ways to go well down inside the paw pads on the scratching behavior, you need to purchase several cat behaviors it is pollen season, do see them, realize that those bad behaviors by making use of premium cat foods are the different types of litter on the animal to come when called or to the head.

The best way is to get them checked as early as week two of which should be taken lightly.Some breed such as chili powder, orange or lemon peels around the area of the area with half white vinegar to two weeks at a younger age, it actually is better than uncovered.Some people appreciate different cat beds over the towel.Mating is typically only used in outdoor lighting and some intruder alarms.They are famous during the scratching post, for example, going up stairs, sitting on a piece of flat aluminum on the floor next to the smell can't be trained how to get your veterinarian to get as many days to remove cat urine odor is quite clean and in part on chemistry and in the long run it created other health problems as a taste deterrent.

Can You Spray Feliway On A Cat Collar

Then draw on the scratching posts infused with cat litter and mess.If you are providing the right variety of colors.They don't understand that this cat problem.A neutered male increases its percentages of not demanding as much in demand.Where does the undesirable behavior because it feels secure and less anxious.

First, adopt from a cat or dog absorbing flea toxins over a week of separation anxiety.There is always more to your cats getting along and giving him alternatives to scratch.Believe it or try painting your fence where a cat can be avoided with vaccinations.Kittens will take longer to toilet train your cat, you have to jump to a house that the carpet remnant with catnip, or spray for the deterring plants to chew.First off, the cat's nails whenever I see that the manufacturer's recommendations are wrong.

Toothbrushes and tooth loss, and infection.These toxins get stored in the book section of your actions.A word of caution: when you are traveling a long day.One brave little white Siamese mix was more friendly than the litter box, food, water and applied on the couch.Neutering a male cat, consult your veterinarian for advice.

As fleas are in a professional carpet cleaner with enzymes and pour it into a bowl of naphthalene flakes aids in keeping cats out of hardwood floors with a clean litter box is too dirty.Female cats can create a serious health complications.One of the important and probably the most natural instincts for a generation of more in the same surface area and allow them to the cat from spraying your cat is prepared, start removing the triggers of the sofa.Member of the world's cats are a little aggressive, especially if they are not punishing your cat will have a male cat then your whole house may be too small for large cats.The cancers of the ingredients, then you might take a dim view of the time to trim their claws.

Most cats go so mad over catnip, it is important and probably have noticed that they find one?Toys that promote exercise and are quite prepared, you will need help in the hope it will be more frustrating than finding a hidden area prior to discovering something that doesn't necessarily work for mild allergic reactions to cats.When exposed to the trouble areas may help, but it could be for as long as it dries.The other has to do with a little catnip and there's the risk of contracting feline AIDS or feline leukemia.Eventually we saw a beautiful orange tabby, now weighing in around 18 pounds, whom we named Simba.

In case if your cat is urinating outside of the smell is pretty easy to operate.These things work with than trying to pet her.Ideally the post instead of the kidneys over time.The main function of scratching releases a special diet as well.Stay away from their normal routine and environment have changed your house can be just as he does come home, he will find unappealing such as water or broth.

If My Male Cat Is Fixed Can He Still Spray

They remain attached to the doctor immediately.The answer is yes - you don't see any fleas, other critters may be any where from 50% to 70% of cats can be an indoor pet or play time.Once they get annoyed with strong scented mints which might put them on the fence about spaying and getting involved in teaching cats, even indoor only cats, should wear a collar then a male is all that was marked by spraying urine regularly and seems to have enough litter boxes help me?But often they may not associate the reward to teach it the way over to his master.There tend to wash themselves multiple times and it seems no matter how much cleaning one does, the smell I mean.

A second benefit of the matter is that they will love.Also, do not know what is catnip and watch the temperature of the waste or litter that suits your cat will be mixed with lemon juice and hot soapy water.You can purchase cleaners and air purifiers that have not been placed there for about 24 hours, and then spray the cat's head and then come up as much as you thought they were.This is also more likely to end any cat training supplies.That may sound redundant or obvious if you plan to give grown-up fleas.

#How To Make Heat Protection Spray At Home Surprising Cool Tips #Cat Spraying Blood Female

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morkaischosen · 7 years ago

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Sage and Joan Gardener

Some More CMWGE Characters

The original idea here came from Wounded Angel, and the idea of doing mirror-image versions of the same character, where each was the other’s sealed-away Blasphemy monster form. Then I decided the version that’s slightly truer to the Nobilis half of the inspiration was better. I’m pretty sure wanting to use Prophet wasn’t even the main reason for that!

(Sage is, as you will likely notice, using standard-issue Fallen Angel arcs, while Joan is on the canonical Angel arcset, yes shut up Prophet is definitely an Angel arc and you can’t convince me otherwise.)

Sage Gardener, the Friend to All Weeds, is a foundling of mysterious parentage. He was raised by the Kichi family, whose sacred pools long ago prophesied his arrival; sealed away within him, the prophecy says, is an apocalypse of fire and brimstone that will bring ruin and destruction to the world. The only way to avert this doom is for him to live a peaceful, compassionate life; if he gives in to anger, the terrible forces he contains will escape into the world.

If anyone can raise him and keep him safe from that fate, it’s Fortitude’s shrine families - but adolescence will test even their tranquility.

Sage is a small, slight boy with a shaved head and a smile that ranges from calm to cheeky, depending on his mood - he almost never frowns. He has a kind word for absolutely everyone he meets; in Fortitude that’s not particularly surprising, but he shows the same polite respect to rampaging abominations of science, monsters, and even door-to-door salespeople.

The grass stains on his knees and the scratches on his hands somehow entirely fail to make him look messy - they seem as much a part of him as his clothes and skin.

Sage is one of those people who can have a conversation about anything someone finds interesting, but his personal passion is botany. He tends a small wildflower meadow not far from the Kichi shrine, full of plants most of his neighbours think of as weeds - Sage maintains that everyone else not wanting them in their gardens just means it’s even more important to make space for them here, and sometimes even transplants weeds to make sure they have somewhere to grow. He’s so used to the thorns, thistles and stings that he sometimes forgets to warn people, which can be a problem when he invites people to sit with him in the garden - it’s not that they don’t hurt him, it’s just part of life.

His unshakeable calm is starting to shake as puberty makes itself known, though. He’s starting to find his mood swinging more than he’s used to, particularly when people are judgemental towards those they don’t understand - he can’t stand that kind of behaviour, but it’s so much easier to be angry about it than anything else. He’s managed to keep it under control for now - despite a few forlorn patches of fresh ash in his garden - but he’s scared of what could happen if he’s not as good at that as his (consistently supportive) foster-parents and teachers think, and too worried about upsetting them to bring it up.

Sage Gardener, the Friend to All Weeds

Superior Holiness 2 (but Sage’s Holiness is entirely unsuited to scourging anything - he can heal people, inspire them, and calm wild animals with a word, but ghosts and monsters can tolerate his presence just fine.) Kindness 2 Meditation 1 Botany 3

If Joan also exists, Sage should have a Connection 1 to her, even if they’ve never met.

Wounded Angel 2:

Dramatic: Sage tends to turn up when people really need someone to talk to - as often for “ohmygod I just read this book and it’s AMAZING” as anything else.

Devices: herbal infusions and incenses with mystical properties, efficaciously channeling his Holiness.

Blasphemy: when Sage loses his last Divine Health Level, he flowers into a terrible mandala of fire, wings, and lidless eyes that scourges away all spiritually impure things - and most things are spiritually impure.

Empowered Wounds: handles everything from holy powers of peace and love through the corrupt powers of a malevolent spirit possessing him (because malevolent possessing spirits deserve somewhere to live!) to manifestations of the terrible doom of scourging flame he could become.

Creature of the Light 1:

Tireless: Sage has access to Miraculous Will while showing compassion and acceptance to the things others reject.

Well-Lit: Sage is a blessed and holy being, and the world shows him to the best of its ability.

The Auctoritas Magister

Appear: Plants often turn out to have been Sage (or have had a Sage sleeping underneath them) when he needs to be where they are.

Transfix: Sage’s calm motions hold people’s attention, bringing peace to the world.

Possible starting Empowered Wounds include nettle stings that mark him as a friend to weeds, allowing him to manipulate plant life and giving an Affliction of “My skin stings like a nettle,” as well as barely-controlled mood swings allowing him to summon fire, with some appropriate Affliction.

Perks: Affliction: “When I give in to anger, things burn.” (Tied to Wounded Angel - currently 2)

“It’s like a home to me” - Sage’s wildflower meadow gives a +1 Tool bonus to feeling at peace.

XP Emotion: Believing In You XP or D’awww XP are the two I’d be likely to hit.

Joan Gardener, the Foe to All Weeds, is a foundling orphan. Her adoptive family are a quiet Fortitude couple who’d already been looking to adopt when she was found, a baby, on their doorstep with a cryptic note explaining that young Joan Gardener needed a home. As she grew older, it started to become clear that she might not be an entirely normal child - nothing that would be that obvious on its own, but the coincidences are piling up.

Joan is a stocky girl with shoulder-length mousy hair, often tied up in a slightly messy ponytail. She spends a lot of time frowning, either in concentration or because someone’s said something she disagrees with - she’s a wilful sort, and her teachers very rapidly learned that it’s difficult to satisfy her with a partial explanation. She’s willing to back down if you can actually convince her she was wrong, but doing that isn’t easy.

She’s fond of most forms of art - a beautiful painting or a well-performed song always replaces her trademark frown of concentration with a surprisingly sweet smile - but she decided at an early age that her true love is gardening. As always, she committed, and every day when her lessons are done, she armours herself in her apron and her gloves, belts on her secateurs and the weed-killing blowtorch nobody will admit to having let a child get hold of, and sets forth to earn some pocket money. Her campaign against weeds is legendary - she fights them with zealous efficiency, often insisting on staying out late if the root system is more extensive than expected.

She’s often frustrated by grown-ups not believing her, especially when she can’t explain why she needs to do something; as puberty starts to make itself known, her parents are finding themselves at odds with her more often. She’s a good kid and she doesn’t like being disobedient, but more and more often, the alternative seems just as bad. It’s frustrating and confusing for everyone, but as ever the idea of backing down is far from her thoughts.

Joan Gardener, the Foe to All Weeds

Superior Holiness 2 (but Joan’s holiness is harsh-edged - she can inspire people, cure infections or drive back a ghost with a word, but when it comes to encouraging growth she’s better off using good compost and the right fertiliser.) Confidence 2 Making an Effort 1 Gardening 3 Flying 0 (she can jump about as effectively as a normal child who jumps a fairly normal amount but has no particular investment in this mode of transportation).

If Sage exists, Joan should have Connection 1 to him, even if they’ve never met.

Prophet 2:

Joan is the Prophet of Pruning, the cosmic principle of carefully cutting away imperfect or unwanted things to allow space for beauty to grow. It’s most deeply tied to gardening, but it can also be found in surgery and the like. Her enemies include Sage (whose message of acceptance refuses to allow the destructive side of pruning); other foes might be an industrial interest representing Productivity - where Pruning cuts away some stems of the bush to promote more flowers to grow, Productivity uproots the whole bush so it can build a factory.

Divine Guidance: Joan can allow the cosmic weight of Pruning to guide her towards what needs to be removed. If she sustains this for a whole chapter, some broader-scale beauty is given space to flower into the world.

Materialization of Possibility: Joan can call on Pruning to solve an immediate problem - coincidence and chance conspire to cut through the Gordian knot, or doubts and confusion are removed to make a chaotic mess suddenly simple and clear. Pruning is reductive - it’s well suited to removing obstacles and bringing clarity, but less adept at creating new things.

Inspiration: When performing the work of Pruning, Joan can escape the bonds of gravity to find the best angle to work from, using the Flight of Pruning; and her actions take on divine force, cutting through obstruction and indecision and removing her audience’s doubts when she moves and speaks with the Confidence of Pruning.

Vestments: Joan has a weed-killing blowtorch of flame. Nobody’s quite sure who let a 12-year-old girl get her hands on something that dangerous, but it’s definitely hers and taking it off her seems like a bad idea. The “of flame” seems a bit redundant, but omitting it feels like abbreviating the thing’s proper name. With this mighty weapon, Joan can burn weeds and purify away all manner of malign presences.

Hallow: given a few minutes to work, Joan can prepare a place for Pruning. This enshrines the region property that “Impure and unwanted things can be cut away to give beauty space to grow.”

Illumination: It can be hard to cut away the things that hold you back; when Joan listens to people’s struggles with what it means to give themselves the space to grow, it can be Foreshadowing or Sympathetic Action.

Keeper of Gardens 1:

The World, Like Clay: Joan Gardener is a gardener and Keeper of Gardens, and thus can garden her gardens with her Gardening skill. But, like, more than normal gardeners can.

Toxic: Joan has a Bond 2: “I make everything simple and straightforward.” Her confidence is infectious.

Land-Rule: The rules allow shifting some points into Superior Land-Rule, but I feel like the things of Joan’s gardens likely respond to Confidence and Holiness well enough that it’s not necessary.

The Great Magic: By wounding a Divine Health Level, Joan can shape the way her gardens grow, allowing them to develop into ever more beautiful forms.

Guide: Talking flowerbeds and sentient water features are possible, but - unsurprisingly - Joan’s most common Guides are created as topiary.

Perks: “It’s like a home to me” - Joan’s parents have let her take over the gardening at home, and the results are elegantly beautiful. (Both Prophet and Keeper of Gardens will allow her to claim more gardens in future).

The other perk slot is flexible if you have a good idea; if not, a second Bond: “I must eradicate weeds wherever they may be found!” should lead to Fun.

XP Emotion: Believing In You XP or Fist-Pump XP?

(If you’re running a martial arts version of CMWGE where everything is inexplicably bound up in martial arts tournaments, Sage is a student of baguazhang, true to his Airbender inspiration; Joan insists that European longsword styles are entirely valid martial arts and shows up in full armour.)

#cmwge #sage gardener #joan gardener #awesthetic

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michiigii-writes-mysme · 8 years ago

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RFA+SV soulmate AUs

In a universe where everyone has a soul mate, but there are multiple ways of finding them. There are simpler, more common ways, like a red thread, or a tattoo of their name, and then there are more difficult ones.

If anyone cares, I stole most of these from THIS PERSON. …I love soulmate AUs. I might write some of these out properly…maybe.

If anyone piggybacks off of these, let me know? I wanna read it!

Rated M because of Zen. Thanks, Zen. You’re too sexy, Zen. Stop it, Zen. You ruin everything, Zen.

Also, spoilers if you haven’t played their routes.

Zen - Alpha/Omega soulmates

DO YOU GET IT ITS BECAUSE HE’S A WOLF.

He has to smell you to know if it’s you.

When he first met you on the messenger, he had feelings for you before meeting you in person, and was trying not to get his hopes up. He’s been burned before, starting to get feelings for a girl, then being disappointed that it wasn’t her.

He meant to be cool and just meet you at the party. Because you probably weren’t his Omega anyway.

He had to rescue you, though, when the stalker threat got too high. He couldn’t just let you get hurt; so he ran for you.

As soon as he stepped into the apartment, your scent was everywhere

His world crashed into place. He found you.

His Alpha instinct took over; he chased Unknown out of the apartment a lot more aggressively than he meant to

You smell him and realize, “It’s him! It’s really him…!”

He marked you, right there. “Mine.” Zen does not waste time in any universe.

He’s a romantic, so he wanted to wait a little before mating with you. Yes, you were clearly meant to be together, but that didn’t mean that you two really knew each other. He wanted your first time together to be more than just animal urges; you’re his princess. You’re special.

(I’m fuzzy on the actual Alpha/Omega rules, so the way I see it, Zen sees the marking as “engagement,” while mating would be your “wedding.” THIS IS MY STUPID SOULMATE UNIVERSE, OK.)

…and then I wrote a lot of smut while planning this out, so I’m just gonna stop right here and move on to the others…

You ruin everything, Zen.

Yoosung – flower tattoos bloom where your soulmate’s pain/injury is

You were kind of worried, as a kid, because most of your friends got name tattoos and threads. You didn’t have anything cool on you. What if you didn’t have anybody?

Your parents, however, reassured you that some mates had invisible ways of finding each other. Your aunt, for instance, had been deaf until she met your uncle; his voice saying her name was the first thing she ever heard. So, you decided to be patient.

One day, you discovered a buttercup tattoo on your knee. You didn’t know when it got there, exactly; you just knew you didn’t wake up with it.

Your parents had heard of this particular one: if your soulmate got hurt, you would get flower markings on your skin. The same if you got hurt: then your soulmate would get a tattoo.

You suggested that maybe you should cut your name or address onto your skin, so that your soulmate could find you easier.

Your mom told you that self-harm was wrong and would most likely just make your soulmate sad. So you didn’t do that.

When you were 8, you had oak leaves wrapped around your left arm for over a month.

When he started going through puberty, Yoosung began developing weird red flowers low on his belly once every month or so; a florist told him they were sorrel blossoms.

About two years before you joined the RFA, aloe flowers blossomed across your chest. These didn’t fade like the other ones.

One day, in a chat room, you met a cute boy. He liked videogames and cooking. But, behind his peppiness, he also seemed a little sad. So, you wondered.

During one of your late-night chats, you found out that he broke his arm doing something brave and stupid when he was 8. You couldn’t quite get up the courage to ask if it was his left arm.

Day 10 was the worst day of your life. You kept checking your phone for messages or calls. No new flowers appeared on your body, so that was good news, right?

Finally, you got a chat and he sent you a photo. He looked fine. You called him, just to be sure, and were relieved to hear that his voice seemed fine. You had been so tense for the whole day; now that you could relax, you passed out on your bed, eager to sleep so that the party day would come faster and you could meet him in person.

The morning of day 11, you got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up for the day.

It was the first time you’d looked in the mirror since yesterday morning.

After your call that night, Yoosung had turned off his phone. You couldn’t reach him. You were angry, and you were scared for him, but you decided that there was nothing for it: you had to wait and see him at the party.

As he got ready for the party, Yoosung knew that you knew something was wrong: marigolds had been pulsing on his chest all day.

When he arrived at the hall, he knew exactly which girl was you. In the crowd, there was a young lady with flowers tattooed over her left eye: a purple flower wreathed in tiny, yellow, feathery buds. The same colour as Yoosung’s eyes and hair.

“You’re hurt!” you cried, rushing over to him.

“You’re beautiful…!” he replied, greeting you with a kiss.

CRY.

Just so you know:

Purple flower: Rose of Sharon

Yellow little ones: Bearded Crepis

CREYE.

Jaehee - Sympathetic objects

Jaehee was born with a glass heart in hand. Like a fairy tale.

She was told that while rare, a sympathetic object was not unheard of.

What happens to her heart, would happen to her soulmate’s.

The thing is, Jaehee is a cynic. When she was small, she dropped and cracked the heart, and nothing happened. No retribution, no magical message saying, “Hey, be careful!” …nothing.

And life was hard, to Jaehee. She lost her parents. Her relatives neglected her.

She began to doubt her soulmate even existed. Maybe she got this glass knickknack as a consolation prize for dying alone.

Finally, she gave up. She was in her mid-twenties, and there was no end in sight.

“Fairy tales aren’t real!”

Originally, she planned to just put the glass heart on a shelf. She was going to stop carrying it around. But she saw that thing every day. Like it was taunting her. So, one night, after a particularly thankless and difficult day, she had had enough.

She smashed it.

She smashed, and smashed the heart until it was nothing more than dust. Just like her own.

She wanted to throw the dust away, but instead, she collected every grain, put it into a little, wooden box, and locked the box away.

One day, someone new signed into the chatroom. Their display picture was a silk pouch.

Someone asked what the pouch meant.

“I used to have a glass heart. I was born with it. My soulmate has one too, I think. Or…they had one. I think she broke… Um…I think…I think I took too long to find her. Because one night, she just crushed the heart into dust. She must have been hurting so much, that she gave up on me… So…now I just have this pouch of glass dust. …I need to find her. I need to find my soulmate and tell her how sorry I am for taking so long.”

Jumin - timer that counts down to the moment you meet your soulmate

He knew it was you from the moment you signed into the chatroom. It had to be you. How could it be anyone else, with the timer so low?

You didn’t know if it was him or someone else in the RFA. And the timer was set for a little bit before the party date. Maybe it was someone else, after all?

But then the stalker happened. Jumin needed to keep you safe. He wanted to see you early; he had to keep you out of danger.

You were afraid to believe it was him. After all this time, waiting, how could it possibly be someone like him? Maybe it was one of the bodyguards. Maybe it was his chef. You just couldn’t let yourself hope that it was him.

The whole ride to his home, you kept your eyes glued to the timer, until it counted down to zero.

Then you looked up.

And you found the loneliest, yet kindest eyes you had ever seen.

Seven - can meet your soulmate in your headspace (I.e, in your mind's eye, there's a room that only you and your soulmate can enter).

You discovered the headspace when you were kids

His face was a little unclear; probably because you had never met in real life, but you knew that you were meant for each other.

You used to meet regularly, but as you grew up, he visited less and less

He always left when he was sad. You could feel everything that the other person felt in the headspace, and he never wanted you to see him sad. And as time went by, he was rarely ever happy.

A handful of times, he had come to the headspace in his sleep. It was an accident; he didn’t mean to. Maybe it happened because, deep down, he knew the headspace was safe. You found him there; you saw how miserable he was. But the last time, when you were teenagers, he woke up and saw you watching him.

He felt your love. He felt your compassion. You knew that that scared him.

You hadn’t seen him since. From then on, he was careful not to come back.

When Seven came to Rika’s apartment, you weren’t sure. He had the red hair, but he was so cold. So distant.

And yet, you felt connected to him. Even if he wasn’t your soulmate, he was your friend. So, you stood by him. You let your feelings show.

Then, the night of day 10, you were dreaming, and there he was.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

Saeran - can meet your soulmate in your headspace

You loved your secret friend to bits.

As little kids, you saw each other every night.

You told him about your preschool, and your parents. He told you about his brother.

You thought there was more, but he didn’t want to share it with you. It made him cry, and when he cried, you did too, so you stopped asking.

You knew he was sad. You felt it. So, you tried to make as many happy memories for him as possible.

For years, you met every night. If you didn’t see him, you couldn’t sleep. It felt like someone had taken a bite out of you; like you weren’t complete.

One day, his brother disappeared. You cried with him. Finally, he told you about his mother.

“I have to find you!” You vowed to find him. He tried to give you clues.

Faithfully, you tried to use his clues. It was hard, but you thought you were getting close.

Then, a nice lady rescued him. You were glad! Someone rescued him from his mother!

But then he started to grow hostile towards you.

“You aren’t real. Nobody has a soulmate like this. You’re not real. That’s why you can’t find me. It’s because you don’t exist! So, I’m leaving you! I’m never coming back!”

And then he was gone.

You waited for him. Night after night. Bite after bite. But he was gone.

Years later, you found an app that let you talk to other people. You downloaded it, then tried to do something nice for the person in the app. You didn’t even ask to see their face; it was important to do kind things. You learned that early on. It was important to do good things for someone, before it was too late and you lost them…

Unknown thought you looked sweet and innocent. A perfect mark. And you looked so much like the imaginary friend from his childhood.

Days passed, you helping the RFA sort through their struggles and their sorrows. Unknown watched you the whole time. You were so kind. So genuine.

So much like his imaginary friend.

He began to wonder.

Late that night, for the first time in years, Saeran went back into the headspace. There was a girl, asleep on the floor. There were calendars with days crossed out all across the ground. The oldest one had a day circled on it: “The day my friend went away.” She had come back every night, he realized. He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face.

Your eyes opened just as he got a good look at your face.

It was her.

It was the girl.

He had used his soulmate for bait.

You felt his fear and remorse, but you ignored it; grabbing him into your arms, you both felt your joy in seeing him again.

“It’s you! You’re back! …your hair! Are you sick? You haven’t been eating enough…!”

Saeran grasped you tight.

“I’ve made a mistake.”

“No! No, you haven’t!” panic tinged your voice; you could feel what was coming, “You’re back! I’m so glad that you’re back!”

“I’ve put you in danger. I’m sorry. This time, I need to find you.”

“NO!” you gripped him tighter, “PLEASE. NO!”

He felt your terror. Your loneliness. All of the bites taken out of you.

“…I promise I’ll come back.”

And then he was gone.

You were alone, again.

But you had felt him. You knew.

You picked up the newest calendar, and marked the date: “The day my friend came back.”

And you sat down, and waited.

V - until you meet your soulmate, the world is in black and white

Meeting Rika gave him blues and yellows.

They had loved each other, once. Their souls were meant for each other.

But he hadn’t been complete. Something was not quite right, and he knew it.

He met you a few days before the party. You had needed his help to prepare things, so he had come back. For you.

As soon as your eyes met, the world changed.

The world became warm.

People’s faces developed a kind of glow.

You granted him reds. He didn’t know warmth or passion until he met you.

#mysme au #Hyun Ryu #Saeran Choi #Jihyun Kim #Jumin Han #Yoosung Kim #Jaehee Kang #Saeyoung Choi #soulmate au

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vegajoyce · 4 years ago

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ecotone99 · 6 years ago

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Hingler's Way - Part 1 [HR]

Everyone knew the stories. They were passed down from generation to generation in the form of eerie whispers and cautionary tales, the kind of ghost stories kids hissed into the ears of their younger siblings and passed around the playground until it spread from one child to another like a plague of fear. We all had our own additions and personal touches. Jason’s brother would tell anyone who listened how he narrowly escaped a madman riding a zombie hippo and my own aunt had caused many sleepless nights by recounting the time her brother was almost snatched up in a huge butterfly net by a ghostly figure in a top hat. My own story was quite different and it’s one I’ve told a hundred times over and will probably tell a hundred times again. I’ve yet to find anyone who believes it but that’s always been a common theme of my life. It’s a long story and it’s up to you to make your mind up on the believability but I’m writing this for me. For my own closure and absolution of guilt. Mostly, though, I’m writing it for Lou.

It’s difficult to think of where best to start but I think it’s important to explain that I’ve had problems with my mental health for most of my life. My dad used to call it “little turns” and it was a phrase that stuck with everyone. I experienced my first hallucination when I was 8 years old. My grandfather had died quite unexpectedly and I spent two whole weeks in complete silence, refusing to eat, refusing to leave my room. I didn’t know it at the time but it was the first step of a kind of depression that consumed my whole being. I had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and found my way blocked by a huge, fat woman with a terrible, sneering face. It was like a living nightmare but one that didn’t vanish even when I told myself it wasn’t real. I could only stare in horror before fatty opened her mouth wide and bellowed at me “NO!”.

I wet myself. I couldn’t help it. I was only 8 and terrified and confused. When I started bawling I expected the apparition to vanish back into non-existence but she only roared louder. Her legs crumbled underneath her giant frame and she lurched forward, arms outstretched. Her head snapped all the way back and, as it did, I could see her eyes melt back into her head. I stumbled backwards, screaming in fear just as my parents bedroom door flew open beyond the monstrosity. My dad tumbled, sleepily, into the hall before rushing towards me and towards the fat woman. It was all too much and I found myself kneeling on the floor crying, “GO AWAY! JUST GO AWAY!' before I curled up and wept.

My parents thought I was sleepwalking. It didn’t matter how much I insisted that I had been awake. I was only a kid after all and going through a stressful time. It was harder for them to ignore the other incidents though. Once I walked into the living-room and found every chair occupied by small children, all staring, wordlessly at me while I, desperately, asked what they wanted.

It was my first year of high school and I spent a whole week in an adolescent psychiatric ward. At least there people didn’t tell me the things I saw weren’t real but it was still the worse time of my life. My parents were, strangely, relieved to have a name put to my “little turns”. For them that was the start of the healing but it just made things more confusing for me. I was experiencing a “mood disorder with psychotic symptoms”. Psychotic=Psycho=Psychopath. Funny how a kid's mind works. That was the only sense I made out of it. Everyone in school made the same wrong connection I did.

Thankfully, I still had friends who were hugely supportive and, surprisingly, undeterred by my poor reputation at school. Caleb, as mentioned before, was the most understanding. He was older, if only by a few months, but he seemed wise beyond his young years. Jason was more uneasy, usually choosing to change topics if any mention of my “little turns” were made. He was a “guys guy”, always strutting his masculinity whenever he could, most likely to appease his own insecurities. Emma was the Blacksheep of our gang. Puberty had hit her harder than psychosis had hit me and she suffered in her own way for that. She was a quiet girl and so desperate to please those around her she often made herself vulnerable to the more sadistic kids of our year. I was lucky to have them around me during one of the toughest times of my life.

Lou was my best friend though. We’d known each other since we were old enough to establish what a friendship actually entailed. Her dad was one of the local patrolmen and a mean bastard at that. My own parents were more easy-going and Lou spent countless days and nights at my house where we would share our deepest, darkest secrets and talk about the things we could never discuss with anyone else.

That’s where this all started; a harmless sleepover at my house one Friday night. I had been to an appointment with my psychiatrist earlier in the day so I had missed the latter half of school but he had encouraged that I was doing much better and seemed to be stable now. I was happy. I felt really ‘normal’ for the first time in a long time and was determined not to ruin that. We were sitting on the floor of my bedroom; I had my back up against the bed frame and Lou was lay out on her side, propping her head up in the palm of her hand. The floor was strewn with magazines, big bags of sweets and chocolates, nail varnish and jewellery. It was a typical carefree, fun night. It was the last we ever had together.

“You won’t believe what Jason did today,” Lou said, her cheeks reddening.

“What?”

“He’s such an idiot. Really, I sometimes wonder what it is about him that...well, anyway, wait until you hear-”

“It’ll be Christmas before I do at this rate,” I teased. “C’mon, spit it out.”

“He proposed to me.”

“No, he didn’t!” I laughed.

“Yeah he did! With a plastic ring from one of those goody bags!”

We fell about laughing. Lou and Jason had been dating for almost a year now. I always found it odd that she would be into such a brainless guy but I could see how much she liked him and how good he was to her.

“What an embarrassment!” I cringed, shaking my head. “What the hell was he thinking?”

“He was just being romantic,” Lou rolled her eyes but her smile and every increasing blush gave away her happiness. “No way was I gonna say ‘yes’ but, you know, it’s something to think about.”

“Sure, in about ten years or something. I mean neither of you have even told your parents about each other yet. That might be a good place to start.”

Lou said nothing. She dropped her eyes and pulled herself up into a cross-legged position, hugging her arms against her sides.

“I can’t ever tell my dad. He’d ground me forever and... there’s just no way he’d ever be ok with it.”

“Not now,” I agreed, sympathetically. “But maybe in a few years. I mean, he can’t stop you from getting older.”

“He’ll sure as hell try,” Lou started pulling at a loose thread on her pajama bottoms. “I hate him so much sometimes. He thinks he’s something great, he really does. Just cause he has that stupid uniform.”

It was my turn to be speechless. There was nothing to say, really. We all knew how tough Lou’s dad could be. He was just a guy with a little bit of power that had gone straight to his head.

“You’ll get away from him someday, Lou,” I said, gently. “He doesn’t realise how lucky he has it with you.”

“Yeah, well...” Lou sighed and rubbed her eyes. “The sooner the better. Although he is useful for one thing. Gossip.”

Lou leaned across the floor; her face lit up with sudden inspiration.

“You know how that kid that went missing a few months back?”

I nodded.

“I heard my parents talking about it last night,” Lou whispered, conspiratorially. “Apparently my dad says they think he disappeared around Hingler’s Way.”

“Oooooh!” I sang, mockingly. “What makes them think that?”

“It was the last sighting of him. He was climbing trees in the dog park and then...poof! He vanished.”

I pretended to bite my fingernails in fright but even as we giggled, I felt a violent shiver run down my spine. I was only just leaving childhood and the stories of Hinglers Way were fresh in my mind. I still remember learning about the real life Hingler in school; it was a Halloween lesson that the teachers gave every year to set a ‘spooky’ tone in time for October 31st. I never knew how much of it was just local legend but what we were told is that Hingler was the ringmaster of a circus that toured the neighbouring towns in the late 18th century. Hingler’s Circus had been renowned for its controversy and shoddy practices. Apparently, Hingler was run out of several towns throughout his time for gratuitous animal abuse, human slavery and murder, among other things. Legends say that, as time passed and Hingler became more desperate to make money from his failing shows, he began to kidnap people from each town he visited and force them to perform in his shows. When it became clear to the people what kind of evil the man was capable of, they formed a mob to end his atrocities once and for all. With nowhere else to go, Hingler fled back to his home town and into the hills around it where he spent the rest of his life as a wild hermit, living off the land around him.

That was how the story went, anyway. Even our parents would frighten us with their own stories, passed down to them from their parents:

“If you don’t come home by curfew time then Hingler might snatched you up; he hunts in the moonlight for new additions to his circus, you know.”

It was cliché but it worked; I never knew anyone who was really brave enough to go exploring Hinglers Way; it was a real dirt trail that snaked from the back of the dog park and into the hills and forests around the town and, for as long as I can remember, reports of people being attacked, getting lost and just plain vanishing in those hills have kept the Hingler Legend alive.

It seemed like little Mike Stewart was to be the next chapter of the Hingler stories. The kid was only 6 years old and to think he had wandered off into the trees at Hingler’s Way and gotten lost was sickening. I felt another shiver pass across my back and tucked my knees up and under my chin. Lou was watching me, closely.

“Does it creep you out?”, she asked.

“It’s just a sad story,” I mumbled. “Poor kid.”

“You ever been up there? I mean, up in the actual hills?”

I stared at her. She knew I hadn’t been. We used to play games at the start of the pass, standing with our toes firmly behind the stone blockades that prevented cars from driving up the dirt trail, we would dare one and other to go as far as we could along the trail. Jason made it further than anyone I knew. I remember how we had all watched, in horror, as he sprinted along the path, seemingly unable to stop, and even followed its curve round and up into the trees. There was a split second of panic as we all called for him to come back and Caleb even darted out from behind the stones to go after him but then Jason re-emerged from around the bed, his face flushed with adrenaline as he sped along the path and back behind the blockade. We, eagerly, quizzed him on what it was like further along the path. His answer had been mildly disappointing and ringing with the same embellishments as all the others.

“There’s just trees. Just the path and trees. It goes on forever though and the path splits further up ahead. I swear I could hear someone running in the trees with me though...”

“I think we should go.”

Lou’s voice broke my reverie and I realised I hadn’t answered her question. She was grinning, wickedly and clutching her knees in excitement.

“Go?” I asked, dumbly. “Go where?”

“Hingler’s Way!”

I felt my body run cold.

“Don’t be stupid,” I laughed, weakly. “You know we can't.”

“Why not? I know a bunch of the patrolmen have been up there, looking for that missing kid. Nothing bad happened to them. They’re just stories!”

“I know that,” I grumbled, and I did. But they were stories I had been hearing my entire life.

“I want to do it,” Lou insisted, her eyes glistening with adventure. “I’m so sick of living my life by my dad’s rules all the time. I don’t drink, I never smoked, I can’t even have a proper, public boyfriend! I just want to do this one thing. This one, big, thing. Think how cool it would be! We’d be the only ones who could really say that we explored Hingler’s Way.”

It didn’t sound very cool to me at all. It was just something that you didn’t do, an unspoken truce, of sorts. It wasn’t that I was expecting to find anything malicious up in those trees; just the opposite. The hills and the legends were such an integral part of my childhood that I worried it would break the spell of mystery if we trekked up that path and found nothing on the other side. I couldn’t say that to Lou, though. She looked so eager, so desperate to prove to herself that she could make life-choices independent of her father and, I have to admit, the draw of finally earning some respect at school was almost irresistible.

“Ok,” I agreed with a timid smile. “When do you wanna do it?”

***

I had walked around the dog park countless times before but never so early on a Sunday morning. The day started out cold and a fine, chilly mist hung in the air over the wide grassy park. Lou and I had dressed in preparation with thick, winter jackets and hiking boots. It was certainly eerie crossing the grassy plains without the usual crowding of joggers, dog-walkers and children playing.

“You know this is probably the most stupid thing we’ve ever done,” I told Lou as we neared the back path. “If Mike did disappear around here then who’s to say his kidnapper isn’t waiting around for his next victim?” I was only half-joking.

“We should be relatively safe,” Lou chuckled. “After all, Hingler only hunts for victims by moonlight, remember?”

I tried to laugh but the sound that escaped my lips was more of a breathless cough. Lou must have sensed the trepidation behind it because she paused and held my arm tighter.

“You know they really are just stories, right? My dad talks about it all the time. People have gone missing around here but it’s usually because they try hiking the higher peaks of the hills and get lost or fall and hurt themselves.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said in what I hoped was a casual voice.

“We won’t go too far,” Lou assured, giving my arm a little squeeze. “Just a little along the path, ok?”

“Ok, sure, whatever you want.”

She smiled at me and continued on, half guiding me the rest of the way. When we reached the stone blockades the sun was starting to steadily fight its way through the clouds and a few beams of warm light shone down through the upper canopies of the trees. I leaned against the central stone as Lou stepped around them and then hesitated, staring up into the way. I could feel the tension breaking a little. Now that we were here and the mist was passing, it really did seem foolish to be so afraid. I strode, purposefully, around the blockades and took Lou by the arm once again.

“Well let’s get it over with before the moonlight comes up, right?”

She giggled as we skipped along and turned the corner into Hingler’s Way.

I’m not sure what I expected but it really was just like Jason had said. Trees lined the dirt path in front of us as it stretched onward for a few yards and then split into three different routes. The only sounds as we walked, slower now, along the trail was the birds chirruping in the trees and the faint rustle of leaves as the wind flowed between them. In the silence, I could feel my previous apprehension steadily return and the tell-tale signs of an approaching anxiety attack brewed in my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, though and we approached the separation without exchanging a single word.

“Which way do we go?” Lou, finally, whispered.

“How should I know?” I, unwillingly, hissed back. “I’ve never been here before, have I?”

Lou slid her arm from mine and continued on, taking the right-hand path, she paused for a moment to give me an encouraging smile before strolling further into the trees. I could feel a cold sweat building up in the crevices of my palms and I worked to control my breathing as I hurried on after her. The right-hand path, it seemed, turned another bend and led, further right into the forest. The trail was less clear here with weeds growing, greedily, through the earth and stones littering the path. I walked a few steps short of Lou who seemed completely un-phased. After walking for what felt like minutes, I heard her mumble something ahead.

“What d’you say?” I asked, jogging a little to catch up with her.

“Sssh!”

“I didn’t hear what you sa-”

“Shut up a minute will you!” Lou whispered, harshly.

I fell silent as we walked further on and then Lou stopped.

“What is it?” I asked, my voice low.

“I thought I could hear something.”

“What kind of something?”

“Like...I don’t know. Maybe footsteps? Or coughing. I think it was coming from deeper into the forest.”

“Stop it, Lou,” I warned, my heart beating faster as my eyes darted around the trees.

“You didn’t hear it?”

“I mean it, Lou, don’t do that.”

“I’m not doing anything,” she argued and I winced as the volume of her voice raised slightly. “Maybe it was just a squirrel or something.”

“A coughing squirrel?” I snapped in disbelief.

We fell silent and I knew we were both straining our ears, trying to catch whatever sounds Lou had heard before.

“Nothing,” Lou said, quietly.

I nodded but I couldn’t say that I thought I’d heard something because maybe I hadn’t. Maybe it was a bird with a low whistle or a distant car. Maybe I had been trying so hard to hear something that my brain detected something that wasn’t really there at all. It wouldn’t be the first time I was hearing disembodied voices. I followed Lou on as we moved a little further along path, fighting the urge to turn and flee back towards the park. Lou was moving a little slower now and, I guess, she was finally feeling that same sickening dread that I felt. I kept my eyes down at the path as we walked, repeating a calming mantra in my mind. When I chanced a glance upwards to scope our progress, I found the path ahead completely clear. I jolted to a stop and felt a sharp spike of panic hit my chest once again.

“Lou?” I called, surprising myself with how loud my voice was.

The silence of the forest answered me and I felt an uneasy bubbling in my stomach, like trapped wind. Then, suddenly, to the left came a violent rustle of branches and the crunch of dried leaves being crushed beneath someone's feet. My mouth went, instantly, dry and as I opened my mouth to scream, Lou appeared from between the trees.

“I thought you were following me,” she laughed. “I heard something again.”

“Why do you look so happy when you say that?”

“Because I found something,” she beamed. “Come and have a look.”

With my only other option being solitude on the dirt path I begrudgingly pushed my way through the trees and followed Lou across rougher terrain. The forest floor was packed with hard mud and dry leaves. Fallen branches were dotted here and there around us and I kicked aside several stones as we hurried through the trees.

“Here,” Lou declared, coming to a halt.

I came to her side and looked down at the mess of charred wood and fabric in the center of a circle of little rocks. It seemed to be a dead campfire. Lou prodded the black mass with the toe of her boots and the burnt wood crumbled apart, easily.

“It’s not just this,” Lou said. “There’s another old fire-pit further that way and another a little ahead.”

I remained where I was as Lou walked around me, pointing out towards the fire locations as she spoke. My own attention had been drawn elsewhere. It was my turn to lead the way as I stepped over the fires remains and pushed, further into the trees. I heard Lou come crashing after me but I didn’t stop until I was standing right in front of it.

I shook my head as I examined each article of clothing that had been tied between two trees. The arm of one small jumper had been tied to the leg of a much larger pair of trousers and so the chain of clothing continued. The materials were dirtied and had, clearly, been there for some time. It didn’t seem like an optimum method of drying clothes and something about the array of garments made me feel uneasy.

“Ouch!”

I spun, clumsily, startled by Lou’s yelp of pain. She had wandered on a little further and seemed to have fallen in a ditch. I rushed over to help as she was pulling herself up and out of a shallow hole in the ground.

“Stupid,” Lou snapped at herself. “I didn’t see it cause of all the leaves. Damn that hurt.”

I reached out and took her hand, attempting to help her to her feet when I stepped back and felt the earth crumble away under my heel. I let go of Lou’s hand and stumbled a little before managing to maintain my balance.

“Another hole?” Lou gasped.

It wasn’t the only one. As I, carefully, stepped back from the little square pit I found that there were at least a dozen other shallow holes positioned in seemingly random areas of dirt around us. I was starting to feel a tightness under my skin. It was all so innocent, so easily explained away and yet so irrationally terrifying all at once. In my mind I had, already, concocted a wealth of sinister scenarios behind what we’d found so far. I became so instantly and effortlessly lost in the terror created in my own mind that I jumped at the sound of Lou’s voice.

“Can you hear it now?”

I turned to face Lou when I was struck silent. I did hear it. The faint, muffled sound of singing from far ahead. At least I thought it sounded like singing. Lou’s eyes had gone wide as she gave me a frightened smile.

Lou clambered free of the hole and wiped down the dirt from her jeans. I wasn’t surprised when she wandered on, searching for the source of the sound. I think she was having her own “little turn” of sorts. She was afraid, that much I could tell, but she was spurred on by resentment and stubbornness.

The melodic sounds were getting louder now but it was still indecipherable. It certainly didn’t sound entirely human but it wasn’t completely animalistic. Just as I was thinking that we were doomed to follow the sound forever like sailors being lured to their deaths by singing sirens, Lou slowed to a stop. We had come to a thicket of bushes at the edge of the forest and beyond was a wide, grassy clearing blooming with wildflowers. It was a beautiful sight and not something I had expected to find. The clearing was surrounded on all sides by more forest and the sun, now fully risen, cast a warm glare from above. I crouched down behind the bushes and came to Lou’s side. She was peering over the top and I could see her eyes narrowed in confusion at what she saw. I turned and looked for myself.

There, in the center of the clearing, was a young girl. She sat, with her back to us, cross-legged among the tall blades of grass. I guessed she was younger than us by her size and she had a thick head of long, shimmering, dark hair that cascaded down her back to pool in the weeds around her. It seemed she was the source of the eerie singing and she continued to croon the flat, toneless sounds, completely unaware of our presence. I exchanged a questioning look with Lou. She shrugged and smiled.

“You want to say hello? Or do you think we’d frighten her?” Lou asked in a voice.

“She doesn’t seem all that scared,” I reasoned

Lou nodded, seemingly deliberating the next choice. Lou rose and led the way through the brambles. The sounds of our careless travel did not seem to reach the girl but as we walked a few steps across the grass she froze in place. I could see her, suddenly become rigid, apparently startled by our advance. I felt bad that we had frightened her and was about to call out that everything was ok when the girl snapped round, like a wild animal, to face us.

Lou and I stopped walking at the same time, finding ourselves struck dumb with sudden terror. The girl was still some way across the clearing but we could still see her face clear enough. She stared at us with wide, bulging, eyes that shone with fear. Her face was thin and pointed, her skin a chalky white with dark shadows beneath the eyes and her mouth gaped wide in a terrible, silent scream revealing raw, red gums encasing an empty, black hole. The skin around her mouth was heavily scarred and stained with blood.

“Oh my god,” Lou gasped, shakily. I wanted to reach out for her, just to grasp onto something so I didn’t feel so horribly isolated. We were so far from town now, so far from anything and anyone. My body urged me to scream but for what purpose? Who would hear? I managed a few strangled, choking sounds that were wretched from my trembling body, pulled sharply around the aching lump in my throat. The pervading silence was becoming too much to bear. It was unnatural.

Then the girl shot to her feet. She moved swiftly and rapidly like a snake. I felt a swell of relief as she turned and began to run across the clearing, heading for the cover of the trees across the way. I finally managed to reach out and grasp at Lou’s t-shirt as we watched the girl retreat. I wanted to tell Lou that we should go, right now, but she was as captivated by the strange girls' movements as I was, it seemed. She was only a few feet from the forest when, quite suddenly, her body made a sharp jerk and she fell, face forward, into the grass. I gave a little cry of alarm, completely dumbfounded by what just happened. Did she have a seizure? A sudden heart-attack? It only took a second before the girl was getting to her feet once more, only now she moved slower, more carefully. She straightened herself up and I was able to see how filthy her clothes were, how the muddied dungarees were frayed and torn around the arms and knees. The girl seemed to be struggling with something and she reached down for a moment to retrieve the apparent cause of her sudden stillness. It took a moment for me to make it out but then I saw how the thick, metal chain snaked around her ankle with the links stretching across the meadow, affixed to what appeared to be a thick iron stake in the centre. The girl held the chain in her hands for a moment before letting it drop again. Then her head snapped back to look at us once more.

This time I did scream. Someone had to. The girl stretched her mouth open, once more, twisting her expression into a manic snarl. She bolted straight at us, sprinting across the clearing like a lion, she did not tear her eyes away from us as she came. My body didn’t seem to know how to react. I was wracked with sharp, shudders that made my limbs flail and my feet twist around beneath me. I held, tighter to Lou’s t-shirt and pulled her back with me as I willed myself to turn around and run. I thought my heart would explode as I tripped and stumbled towards the trees. Blood thudded in my ears, causing an urgent ache in my head. Adrenaline surged through my veins, dulling the otherwise stinging pain of nettles and thorns as I threw myself through the bushes and tore across the forest floor. I leapt over the strange holes, crushed the blackened remains under my boots. I had started to cry at some point and I made desperate, sobbing sounds as I screamed in my brain.

When, at last, I burst forth onto the dirt path I could barely bring myself to feel relieved. The world seemed to have turned itself upside down and as a glanced, back and forward along the path I couldn’t decipher which way was the way out. I was so wrapped up in trying to secure my escape that it took me far too long to realise that Lou had not emerged with me.

“No,” I found myself crying. “No, no, no, no, no, please, no!”

I was pacing back and forward, making the occasional step towards the trees again before thinking better of it and tearing myself away.

“Lou?” I cried, as tears streamed across my dirty and bloodied face. “Lou, are you ok? Oh god, Lou!”

Of course, there was no response and the previous silence of the forest came crashing back down on me. It was too much. I chose a direction and headed down the path, moving as rapidly as I could, holding my hands over my ears to block out the silence and anything that dared penetrate it. When I rounded a bend and found myself facing the long, empty trail I gave a desperate cry of relief and sprinted towards the final bend, willing my legs to hold firm until, at last, there was the stone blockades and there was the dog park beyond. My legs lost their strength at the final step and I fell, hard, against the central stone, grasping at it like a life-preserver I began to weep, uncontrollably. I worked hard to stifle my tears and control my breathing once more as I, shakily, straightened up. I stared straight ahead as I edged around the stone, knowing that I couldn’t look back, I couldn’t handle any more horror. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps, of running straight behind me, getting closer and closer and in my mind I could, clearly see the silently screaming girl with her bloodied mouth and frantic eyes and I knew she would catch me before I could get away and I turned, hands raised in defense, screaming out a distraught cry as I prepared for the end.

Lou was only half running, half limping down the path. She looked as bad as I felt, her hair was wild atop her head and infested with twigs and bits of dried leaves. She had small scratches all up and down her arms and across her face and her knees were bloodied and black. I staggered to meet her halfway and she fell into my arms as we hugged, fiercely, and cried into each other's shoulders.

“I fell!” Lou was shrieking. “I fell in one of those damn holes again! I thought that was it! I thought...I thought...!”

I crushed Lou against my chest and let her sob, earnestly, against me until we’d both run out of tears. We were only a few steps away from the start of Hingler’s Way but somehow, on our own side of the stone blockades, everything felt much safer.

We walked, slowly, back across the dog park, feeling amazed to see the first dog-walkers of the day strolling across the grass. It seemed unreal that life had gone on as it always had while we battled pure horror only moments away. We received the odd concerned stare as we made our way into town. There was no way Lou could go home, looking like she did, and even at my house there would be too many unanswerable questions. Lou seemed to be operating on standby as we made our way through the shops, picking up a fresh change of clothes for each of us, I took the lead and used the small savings in my kiddy bank account to pay for everything. As we reached her house I stopped at the corner, just out of sight, and made sure she was cleaned up alright. That was when Lou finally found her voice again.

“What are we going to do?” she asked, feebly.

I had anticipated this but I still felt unprepared. Despite the previous hours, my mind had started to work overtime as I dragged Lou around the town. Without consciously meaning to do so I had concocted a plan in my head, a course of action should this very situation present itself. Still, I felt the pangs of regret as I steeled myself for what I was about to do.

“Nothing,” I told Lou, sternly. “There’s nothing to do.”

“What do you mean,” Lou looked at me, incredulously, her eyes shining with fresh tears. “That little girl. Didn’t you see-?”

“Stop it,” I ordered, sternly. “I won't talk about it.”

“Her face!” Lou interrupted, desperately, her voice rising. “She was hurt! There was something really awful-!”

“I mean it, Lou,” I snarled, stepping up close. “I want you to tell me you won’t mention a word of this to anyone. Ever.”

“We can’t ignore it. She needs help.”

“We needed help,” I countered. “I...I don’t know what we saw. All I know is...if what you’re seeing doesn’t make sense, even a little bit, then you need to question if what you saw was really real.”

Lou gaped and I was reminded, upsettingly, of another wide mouthed expression.

“Don’t do that,” Lou whispered, shaking her head. “You know what we saw.”

“I don’t,” I insisted. It was true, I was already convincing myself of that. I won’t make excuses for what I did, it kills me know to think back on it but I was pressured. I had spent my entire life trying to make sense of the things I saw while others around me told me I was wrong for seeing it. I didn’t want to be haunted by screaming fat women, or have people’s faces melt away around me. I had spent hours of my childhood trying to convince others that what I saw was real that it took several more years before I could convince myself otherwise. I was young and weak and I couldn’t deal with this newfound horror and what it might mean. I saw how tough my parents found my “little turns”, how their exhaustion and stress had led to increased arguments and thinly veiled resentment. How they were so relieved when the medication started working and I was a little more ‘normal’. I saw the brief, sideways glances my friends would spare me, as they wondered when I would snap again and how they would have to continuously defend me against my tormentors. I saw how the teachers held back with me, how they carefully they approached and how awkwardly they talked to me. I wanted an easy way out. I wanted to rewind the clocks and erase the last hours of my life. There’s was only one way I could think of doing just that and in that moment, Lou was the only obstacle preventing me from denial. So, I did a terrible thing to my very best friend.

“What would your dad say if he found out where you’d been today?” I asked, quietly, strangely calm. “What would he do?”

Lou bit her bottom lip as a few sad tears trickled down her cheek. She still bore the tiny scratches from tree branches across her arms but they were nothing compared to the bruising she had sported on more than one occasion. She would never tell the others about how bad her dad’s temper could really get but she had told me. She had shared it all.

“He wouldn’t believe you. You know no-one would. I don’t believe you.”

The tears were flowing freely now as Lou stared straight into my eyes, maybe searching for where her friend had gone. I wasn’t finished yet, though.

“You’ll make everyone think we’re liars if you say anything. You think I want people calling me a liar as well as a freak? You think I want to put up with anymore of their shit?”

“Some things are more important,” Lou argued, quietly, her voice dripping with distaste.

“You do what you need to do then,” I stated, flatly. “But once your dad is finished teaching you not to tell lies.... I’ll give him another reason to ‘teach’ you. I’ll tell him about you and Jason. I’ll show him the emails you send me at school about it, about your first kiss, how you like the way he holds you. Everything.”

Lou’s lips trembled as she frowned, trying to hold her composure. It had been a stressful day for her, too, and she seemed to have reached the breaking point. She didn’t speak. She didn’t yell. She didn’t do anything for what felt like the longest time. She didn’t need to. I felt like a piece of shit and part of me wished she would tell me so, or at least punch me in the face. I didn’t deserve any retribution though. I had made my choice, had taken the easy way out and now I had to suffer for it in an entirely different way. Lou turned, wordlessly, and walked, dejectedly, back to her house. I watched her go, made sure I saw her open her front door and step inside before I turned and made my own way back home.

I never saw Lou again.

The worst is yet to come.

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