#yes that's what various lockdowns did to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

meyhew · 28 days ago

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“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”

I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.

Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.

All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.

One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.

Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.

Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.

Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3

Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.

If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.

I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.

This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.

Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍

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tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone

@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt

#liam payne #remembering liam payne #this was supposed to post tomorrow but oh well. might as well #seedpost

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sebadztian · 7 months ago

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I rarely get myself invovlved in fandom/shipping discourse, but please allow me to put in my two cents in this whole "A guide for new Kuro fans" drama by sharing my own personal experience.

When I first watched Kuro, I wasn't into Sebaciel. I didn't see them as father-son, but I didn't see their appeal as a unit either, if you know what I mean. I was just watching this new anime without shipping anyone with anyone else (no, not even Cielizzy).

The only reason why I watched Kuro was because of the plot (yes, really). I like the idea of Ciel being the Watchdog and how he behaves like a detective, solving these cases (Azzurro, Jack the Ripper, and even the demon hound anime arc).

I managed to stay 'neutral' for the entire season 1 & 2, believe it or not (totally has nothing to do with how I'd watched them all within 3 days. It was during COVID lockdown, ok? I had nothing else to do!).

Of course, as a fanfic avid reader, I'd gone to AO3 to check out some fanfics and to my surprise, there were a ton of Sebaciel fanfics out there (I wasn't into anime at all and I wasn't aware that Kuro, let alone Sebaciel actually exist).

Since I wasn't into it, I didn't read any of those fics. I looked for the neutral ones because I just wanted to read about how Ciel solved various cases. Unfortunately for me, not many of those existed.

I started looking for more Kuro anime and found the BoC, BoM, and BotA online. Tbh, I was very, very confused. S2 was confusing enough and now this? Naturally, the next thing I did was to do some research about what's going on and that was when I found out that most of the anime aren't canon.

Then I started reading the manga.

In the beginning, I still had the same mindset, that I was just here for the plot. I can't remember exactly what has changed my mind, but then I gave those Sebaciel fics a try and that was when I started shipping them, because I was curious about why people ship them.

I started slow, but as I read those amazing stories and equally engaging manga, I started to see the appeal of Sebaciel and before I knew it, I become a shipper.

I'll say this, there's no way not to ship them if you read the manga. The entire series is built upon their relatinship and the development of their characters, both individually and together as a unit.

You can see this 'unit' as romantic, erotic, mentorship, even business partnership, or other. It really is up to you because your upbringing, your environment, your own characters, etc, might make you look at something in a certain ways.

But please remember that they're just FICTIONAL characters and they remain as such. As invested as you are in the story or the plot, this is just that, a story. Reading it doesn't make you a/an *insert insulting terms for Sebaciel shippers*.

So, in conclusion, for the new Kuro watchers/enjoyers, there is only one rule to watch Kuro: There's no right or wrong way/reason to watch Kuro, but kindly please do not harrass others whose opinions don't align with yours. Everyone has their own life story and it's not within anyone's rights to judge others for what they ship/don't ship. Please respect that and don't be an ass about it.

That's it. Other than that, read, watch, and enjoy the series (or any other series) in whatever way you want.

#sebaciel #kuroshitsuji #black butler #real life stuff #fandom discourse

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infamoussparks · 11 months ago

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Chapter 3: Missing Pieces

Approx. 5,050 words; 30 minute read. Thanks to @rogueshadeaux for the new line spacer! TRIGGER WARNING: Miscarriage, missing persons/kidnapping, death.

A silence fell between the three conduits as they digested the information and started trying to comprehend what this all meant for them. It felt heavy, nothing like the fast and furious nature of the past when taking down Augustine and exposing the D.U.P.. This felt like something else entirely. Delsin started to pace the room, Eugene sat back in the desk chair and closed his eyes, Fetch went to the window and leaned her forehead against the cool glass panes. This was simply a lot.

“So, you don’t have telepathy?” Eugene was perched against the edge of the desk, his question one of true curiosity and intrigue, directed at Doctor Rosaline Hutch who was now sharing the couch with Caly. Caly was soundly sleeping and stretched out across two cushions.

Delsin, Fetch and Eugene had all taken turns being in the office and hearing various parts of the story from Rosaline and Fetch. The school was still in session and classes still had to be taught, so the self-proclaimed Heroes rotated out and in as the day moved along.

Rosaline’s phone rang before she could respond to Eugene and she answered after signaling to him to hold that thought, “Rosaline speaking… oh, hi Dianne. … No, it was just a strange lockdown situation, I’m not sure what happened to trigger it. … Yes, I’m fine. The hospital is fine, just dealing with a handful of reporters as you know. … Of course, see you on Saturday.” She hung up and blew out a soft breath before turning her attention back to Eugene.

“That was just a friend I met in yoga class. And no, my power is not telepathy, I just have expanded my power to be able to act as such. My power is magnification on a cellular level. It’s how I can identify diseases and gene defects in humans. You mentioned that you read my paper?”

Eugene blinked in surprise, “Yes, actually. Magnification… what an unusual ability. But that leads itself well to identifying conduit genes, so now your paper makes even more sense.”

“It’s my secret. We can find markers in DNA but of course it takes a lot of time and money–resources most hospitals and patients do not have. So, I take it upon myself to… speed that up, if you will.” Rosaline glances over at Caly before returning her gaze to Eugene. He nods quietly in contemplation.

“Then… your telepathy is just a magnification of, what?”

<My own thoughts, directed at a target. If anyone touches you right now, they could hear me as well.> Rosaline stayed nearly motionless and her eyes seemed to become a brighter hazel in color as her voice echoed within Eugenes’ mind. He raised his eyebrows over the rim of his glasses, looking impressed.

Rosaline shook her head slightly as if answering a silent question, “I can’t hear your thoughts, at least not yet. I haven’t had time to really focus on expanding my repertoire with my line of work.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m sure Delsin and Fetch would welcome you here anytime and could help you to really push your limits, if you’d like.” As if on cue, Fetch and Delsin entered the office together, looking equally strained as if walking on glass with one another.

Fetch peeked over the couch, “Caly is still asleep?”

“Yes. She was really exhausted when I found her, too. I think she must have been on the run for a while before finding herself in the hospital.” Rosaline reached out and gently ran her fingers through Caly’s platinum blonde curls. The girl hardly moved.

Delsin cleared his throat, “What did you say the uniforms were looking for? Experiments?”

“Projects 41 and 42. Which the more I think about it could be code for her mother and Caly herself. 42 is the ‘Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything’, right? And I know Caly is a conduit.”

Delsin choked on his abrupt laughter, “A conduit? She’s 4-years–”

Rosaline immediately cut him off, “She has an active gene, Mr. Rowe. I can confirm that much. She’s the youngest active conduit I have ever seen.”

“Okay, okay,” Delsin raised his hands in apology and shrugged before dropping into the chair behind the desk, “What is our plan now?”

“I’ll research what I can on this group of soldiers with the owl logo, and see if I can’t crack whatever Project 41 and 42 is code for.” Eugene spun the laptop his way and immediately started typing.

Fetch was studying Caly’s face while she slept, “Who’s watching the kid?”

“I was hoping you would do it. I can’t take her back to the hospital with me… it’s far too dangerous right now. And if she is who those soldiers are looking for, once they find out she is at the hospital they may not return as pacifists.” Rosaline glanced between Fetch and Delsin. Fetch looked up at Delsin and they shared a silent moment.

“We have a school to run, but I can think of two of our students who could make for excellent babysitters… if you’re okay with that, Rosaline?” Fetch asked the doctor quietly while Delsin checked his phone briefly.

Rosaline weighed her options in silence and then nodded, “If you trust them, I’d be okay with that. Caly is bound to be safer here than with just me for right now. Could I meet them before I leave and head back to work?”

“Check the dorms. Break time for both of them.” Delsin stated before dropping his phone onto the desk.

“On it. Back in a neon flash!” Fetch smiled at Rosaline and then left the office in a bright streak of fuchsia that faded slowly as she disappeared down the hall.

With Fetch out of the room, Eugene spoke without looking away from the computer screen before him, “Talk to her privately when you can. I’m not asking.”

Delsin sighed exasperatedly and ran his hands down his face, “Yeah, yeah. I will.” He shook off the momentary frustration and turned his attention back to their guest, “Rosaline, do you need anything from us? Extra protection?”

“That would bring too much attention, I think. I’ll be fine on my own. I know how to reach you.”

“You do… here. Please take this. I know you know it’s our emblem, but it’s also an automatic in for our doors on the building. They’ll unlock if you get close enough and have this with you.” Delsin pulled an emblem pin from a drawer and tossed it toward Rosaline. Rosaline caught it carefully and examined it before dropping it into her doctor coat pocket.

Fetch returned, sans neon, “Hey, so Luke was out working his shift at Latte Owl, but I found Benji. Come on in,” Fetch motioned inside the office and Benji walked in slowly as though he was in trouble with the principles. He was somewhere between Fetch and Delsin in height with dark skin and freckles splattered across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He was dressed in dark jeans with no rips in sight and a prussian blue hoodie.

Fetch ran introductions, “Doctor Hutch, meet Benji Duncan. Benji, meet Doctor Rosaline Hutch,” Benji’s brown eyes scanned the faces in the room before him quickly, then he seemed to relax a bit.

“Uh… hi everyone.” Benji had a voice that was soft and soothing and Rosaline stood up to greet him over the back of the couch. She reached out to shake his hand and he obliged.

“Benji, nice to meet you. Please call me Rosaline. And this…” She motioned to him to lean over the couch, “... is Caly. Please take good care of her until I can return from work later tonight.”

Benji seemed surprised at the sight of Caly, but he simply nodded and straightened up a bit before looking at Rosaline, “Mission accepted, Rosaline.”

“I can already tell you’ll do great with her.” Rosaline dropped Benji’s handshake and seemed satisfied at the yellow aura only she could see. She turned to the room and checked her pockets for her phone, badge and borrowed emblem, “Thank you, all of you. I’ll be in touch.”

After Rosaline left, Benji asked what he should do with Caly and Fetch suggested keeping her in his room for now. He wasn’t too sure about that but with a little encouragement, he decided that was best–he could play video games until she woke up. Fetch gently scooped Caly off the couch and carried her to Benji’s room, the motion giving Delsin pause as he watched her carry the child out of the office.

“Delsin…” Eugene hummed.

“Fff–I know, man. I’ll talk to her. I promise. I just need to figure out what to say.”

“The truth. You’ve got to be honest with Fetch.”

“Okay, yeah I know. I will be,” Delsin stood and stretched, looking out the window behind the desk as the sun was sliding lower in the sky. Shadows below stretched more and more with each passing minute. Sometimes it felt like he was an elastic band being slowly stretched out until he’d meet his breaking point.

Eugene suddenly closed the laptop and unplugged the power cable, wrapping it around itself into a loose coil, “I’ll take this work and go downstairs. Good luck.” And he was gone before Delsin could stop him.

The office felt suddenly heavy with silence and Delsin closed his eyes trying to piece together what he should and shouldn’t say when Fetch walked through that door. His mind was useless at times like these–he couldn’t plan any words because he was sure Fetch would shift the conversation in ways he wasn’t predicting. Frustrated with himself, he grumbled under his breath just as Fetch entered the office and closed the door behind her. No more time for wondering, now it was time for conversation.

“I think Rosaline will be ok for now. But in the future she may need backup. Who do you think is suited for that?” Fetch plopped down on the couch, flinging her legs over the armrest and leaning into the corner.

Delsin blinked at her, already thrown off his guard, “I… I don’t know yet? Listen, Fetch. We need to talk.”

Those words set the hairs at the back of her neck alight and Fetch immediately tensed up, pulling her attention to her fingernails instead of leaving them on Delsin. Anywhere seemed better than looking at him right now, “Look, I already apologized for going in without waiting on backup. What else do you want?”

“It’s not that…” Delsin sighed, fighting to find the words and finding it hard to look at Fetch directly, “I just… when you were with Caly you looked…” Delsin paused, grasping for the right words, “You were glowing. You’d make an amazing mother.”

Fetch immediately shifted to be sitting forward, elbows leaning heavily on her knees, eyes on the floor. Her voice was quiet, “I don’t want to be a mother, okay?”

Delsin risked a glance at her now, walking cautiously from behind the desk to stand before her, “We could try again. We’re both older now and more stable and we could give a kid a really good life.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think that thought doesn’t cross my mind every day?” Fetch glared up at him, standing suddenly with her hands in fists at her sides.

“Then why don’t we try again?”

“Because, Delsin, I’m terrified of losing another one!”

They say the truth hurts, but they never say how badly. To Delsin, this outburst of words felt like he was being gutted alive, drained of everything that made him Delsin Rowe. This unspeakable truth felt like a landmine. Buried deep and forgotten until it was triggered by some twist of fate. It was a thing they dared not speak about—not to others and not to each other–this tiny secret that felt heavier than the entire world all at once and suddenly it was crashing down at his feet. Delsin was at a loss for words, his mouth hung open slightly.

Fetch puffed a breath up at her fringe, the pink hair shifting away from her eyes for a moment before she found her voice and broke the silence with words barely above a whisper, “I’m going to the training room to blow off some steam. Don’t interrupt me.”

Delsin instinctively reached out and took hold of one of Fetch’s hands, “Abby… I’m sorry,” His voice was a soft whisper, his eyes searching Fetch’s face.

“Yeah,” Fetch met Delsin’s eyes and her expression looked drowned in sorrow, “Me too,” Then she pulled her hand from his and left him alone in the office with nothing more than the feeling of his own tears dripping off his chin.

When Fetch reached the empty training room, she stomped through to the women’s changing rooms at the back, leaving the lights off. She stepped into one of the showers and turned on the water, not bothering to remove any of her clothes. Then she placed her back against the tile wall, slid to the floor and sobbed.

Benji was sitting on his beanbag, which was braced against the side of his bed. In his hands was a controller and a video game played quietly on his small television screen across the narrow dorm room. Behind him, asleep in his bed, was Caly. After an hour, she stirred enough to wake and sat up, rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists. Hearing the blankets shift behind him, Benji turned around and gave the toddler a welcoming grin. He didn’t have any siblings, but he had always wanted one. Benji loved kids… they were some of the smartest people he knew.

“Good morning, Caly. Welcome to the best room in the warehouse–my dorm!” Benji motioned to the room behind him and Caly blinked, her gray eyes wide as she looked around to place her surroundings.

“Oh, my name’s Benji. Rosaline had to head back to work so I’m here to help take care of you until she comes back,” Benji’s face faltered for a moment as he thought over his words, “Huh. Guess that means I get a free pass from the rest of my classes today. Awesome.”

Caly suddenly looked frantically around and then sighed softly as she scooped up her pink blanket and held it against her face. She studied Benji’s face and tilted her head this way then that way before pointing to something behind him.

Benji looked quizzically at her before spinning around and laughing, “Oh, yeah. I’m just replaying Super Mario Odyssey. Want to play, too?”

He stood and grabbed his extra controller, then handed it to Caly. She took it but didn’t do anything with it other than just hold it in her free hand. Her expression was a bit perplexed. Benji frowned slightly and sunk back into his beanbag.

“Well… are you hungry? Need anything?”

Caly shook her head but her eyes fell to his door. She scooted herself to the edge of his bed before rolling onto her stomach and lowering herself backwards to the floor. She held her blanket tightly against her cheek and discarded the game controller on the bed. Benji watched as Caly’s tiny bare feet padded around his room and noted that she kept her hands to herself as she looked around. That seemed strange to Benji as most kids would touch everything if given half a second. But Benji didn’t interrupt Caly, he just watched her quietly tapping into her curiosity.

Benji stood and walked to his desk, reaching over to pull up the blinds there which allowed the setting sun to flood his room with yellows and oranges, the bright colors pulling Caly’s attention to him and the window.

“Wanna see my view? It’s not much, but I like it. I get a lot of sunlight.” He reached out toward Caly and she nodded and walked into his embrace. He lifted her to stand carefully on his desk and she pressed her free hand against the glass of his window, her tiny face suddenly smooshed against the pane as she took in the view. The grass was so green, students crossed back and forth chatting or playing. And the sky, alight with the fire of the dying sun, shining in purples, pinks, oranges, and blues.

Benji again said nothing to disturb Caly from her curiosity, but he took silent notes on her behaviors. Something just seemed… strange to him. This wasn’t typical toddler behavior, but maybe Caly wasn’t a typical toddler. Rosaline hadn’t said much about her and Fetch had offered nothing more than gratitude for Benji agreeing to help babysit.

“Do you want to watch the sunset? Like, outside?” Benji asked quietly and Caly snapped her attention to him and quickly nodded as though this was her mission in life. He smiled and opened his arms to her and carefully held her, if a bit awkwardly, and then left his dorm and walked to the front of the building. Upon exiting the warehouse, Caly immediately buried her face against Benji’s neck, seeming to be slightly overwhelmed at the noises, colors and people. Benji had an idea and quietly hummed Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in an attempt to soothe her and this seemed to calm Caly enough for her to find her confidence as she pulled away from Benji just enough to focus on the sky above them. Benji waved to someone who called his name and continued walking, his steps slowing as he moved up a steep hill and then sat cross-legged on the grass. Caly stood in his lap, one arm around his neck as she took in the sky and the colors all around them.

Benji turned his face toward the sky as well, for a moment taking it in with as much reverie as Caly seemed to have, “It won’t stay like this for too long, but we can hang out here until it gets dark, deal?” Caly nodded in agreement, eyes never straying from the big wide sky above her head.

“You don’t speak much, do you, Caly? You hardly make any noises at all. Are you feeling ok?” Benji’s voice was quiet, but Caly didn’t answer as her eyes seemed glued to the show above them. This was when Benji noticed a piece of folded paper peeking out from the front pocket of Caly’s overalls. Curiosity got the better of him and he reached over, removing the paper without Caly so much as flinching. The two written words of “READ ME” on the fold commanded that it be read and Benji unfolded the paper, reading it quietly and sucking in a breath once he was done. He folded this paper back up and placed it in his own pocket.

Caly blinked and moved to sit in Benji’s lap more comfortably. Benji leaned back on his arms, Caly’s body following his movement and warm against his own as she lounged against him. He glanced up at the sky and noticed it was more purples and dark blues than light and he shivered slightly as the shadows grew around them.

“Let’s go back in now, okay? Want something to eat? The cafeteria has amazing food and if you want I can get you some dessert, too.” Caly glanced up at Benji’s face and her stomach loudly agreed that food was next on her agenda. Benji chuckled, “Alright, food it is.”

Caly moved off Benji’s lap and waited for her new friend to stand before offering her hand to him to hold. He took it politely but worried about her bare feet on the grass, so he picked her back up. The two walked back inside to the welcoming lights and delicious smells coming from the hall where the cafeteria was. Caly’s eyes bounced from each person before them, taking in the variety of people here. Benji shifted Caly so she was more balanced on his hip as he entered the cafeteria, immediately pointing to signs and pictures and asking Caly what food she’d like to eat. The choices were so many and everything smelled so good, but the one thing she started pointing madly toward was the ice cream.

“Ice cream? I think Rosaline would be pretty angry with me if I gave you that for dinner. But I’ll tell you what, eat some pizza with me and I’ll get you two scoops of ice cream for dessert. Think you can do that?” Caly nodded enthusiastically. Benji snagged four slices of cheese pizza, a Coca-Cola and a small chocolate milk, and found a table with two seats open. He sat Caly next to himself, taught her to blow on her pizza before biting into it and helped her open her milk. He was shocked at how quickly Caly devoured her slice and finished her chocolate milk, then she slipped off her seat and started tugging on Benji’s shirt to get her the promised ice cream. He laughed and finally gave in, returning to the table with a bowl of ice cream–one scoop of vanilla and one of chocolate–and a very excited and happy Caly. After dinner and dessert was done, Benji cleaned his section of the table and then took Caly’s hand and led her back to his dorm room.

Unsure of when Rosaline would be back, he offered Caly one of his clean t-shirts as a makeshift nightgown and helped her use the sink to brush her teeth. He waited nervously outside the stall as Caly used the toilet, in full big brother mode. Once she was done and her tiny hands were washed, he took her back to his dorm and tucked her and her pink blanket into his bed. Benji left a string of LED lights around the base of his room on. They glowed in a soft pink color.

“Just like your blanket, Caly. Just wake me if you need anything,” Benji had assured Caly the lights would keep her safe just like they kept him safe, too. Caly was back to sleep in moments. He moved an extra pillow and blanket to the floor for himself, but sleep never came easily to him at night. He scrolled his phone for a while before pulling the folded paper from his desk, where he placed it while getting ready for bed. After reading it once more, he opened an email to Delsin, Fetch and Eugene and attached a photo of the note.

“Found this in Caly’s pocket. Something strange is going on, isn’t it? - Benji”

Benji sent the email then turned off his phone and stared up at his ceiling, contemplating his strange day and how oddly chill Caly was for a four-year old.

Eugene took a big gulp of coffee, the large, iced cup nearly empty already. Delsin and Fetch stood behind their friend, peering over his shoulders at the laptop screen. Several articles were up, a map of downtown Seattle and an email in the background from Benji, sent the night prior. The fresh days’ sunlight streamed into the office and warmed the room despite the cooler air outside.

“Conduits? Are you sure?” Delsin was reading the screen as quickly as he could, the influx of information Eugene was able to pull together in such a short time period nothing short of a secret ability.

“Definitely. Look at this article. Missing persons are only missing for so long before they are officially declared inactive cases. Families often pursue additional help to track loved ones down from that point forward.”

Fetch snorted quietly and Delsin cast a glance at her. They hadn’t spoken to one another since the emotional outburst the previous evening and Delsin felt that he owed her a deeper apology once the time was right.

Eugene pointed to the screen before him, “But, in cases of missing persons who have no loved ones looking for them, they often just disappear entirely. No cases. No follow up. And look at these missing persons…” He pointed to a webpage with photos and names and dates, “All of them are registered conduits.”

Fetch crossed her arms over her chest loosely, standing up straight after leaning toward the laptop screen, “Okay, so missing conduits with closed cases. What does that have to do with Caly? Or those jerks who stormed the Children’s Hospital?”

“I was able to use your sketch of the owl logo and traced it back to this article here from several years ago. Apparently, that group calls themselves the ‘Stratego’. And they worked as the scientific branch funded the D.U.P.”

Delsin hummed in thought, “But the D.U.P. has been disbanded for years. How is this ‘Stratego’ group still in operation?”

Fetch looked from Delsin to Eugene, clearly the same question on her lips. Eugene clicked through his tabs before answering, “It was a hidden branch. The D.U.P. may be dead and gone, but that doesn’t mean the Stratego were canceled at all. But I couldn’t find anything recent about them other than funding still being funneled their way.”

“Funding? From who?” Fetch was now pinching the bridge of her nose looking more and more stressed over these findings.

Delsin grumbled under his breath, then gave Eugene a pat on his shoulder, “I’ll look into it. What else did you find, Eugene?”

“This.” Eugene opened yet another tab and displayed a profile photo of a young girl who looked to be 16 or 17-years old and had a familiar face but an unfamiliar name. She was marked as missing with no family attached to her case.

“Who is she?” Delsin was reading the few details listed next to the photo, “She’s so young.”

Eugene’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I’m ninety-nine percent sure this is Caly’s mom. And that she’s deceased.”

A choked sob sound came from Fetch, but she swallowed the noise as soon as it was made. Delsin quickly reached for her, but caught himself and dropped his hand to his side. Fetch didn’t look at him, eyes glued to the photo on the screen. The missing girl looked like Caly. Eugene was likely right.

“Seventeen? And she was just, what? On the run? And these Stratego assholes scooped her up for experiments?” Fetch’s words had a bite to them.

“I’m not sure, but it lines up with the timeline and the code names of Project 41 and Project 42, especially if Caly was an unexpected addition. And the note that Benji sent us a photo of… that seems to also confirm my suspicions.” Eugene pulled the screen to focus on Benji’s email and opened the attached image.

Delsin released a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, “Fuck.”

“We need to lock down the warehouse.” Delsin broke the silence.

“Lock down? And tell the students what, exactly? You think half of them won’t want to run out of here and use their powers to help save the world?” Fetch turned toward Delsin with daggers in her eyes.

Eugene glanced between the two and finished his coffee before breaking the tension, “No lock down necessary. I have a failsafe in place already.”

“... what?” Fetch and Delsin spoke in unison, curiosity and confusion on their faces now.

“The emblems work as security, right? They unlock the campus doors. But…” Eugene started typing something into the laptop, too quickly for either of the other two to follow as they neared the screen again. Suddenly a top-down view of the warehouse was on the screen and then it was littered with small, blue dots. The dots were moving, some in groups, some solo.

Fetch pulled her necklace emblem away from her neck, “Tracking devices? You programmed them to track everyone?”

“Everyone. If I pull the map back we can even see the students off-campus.” Eugene did this and a dot lit up within where Latte Owl was and a few dots even showed up in the local library, one at a bar and one at the Children’s Hospital.

Delsin raised an eyebrow examining the map, “Huh…” He stood up and ran one hand across the back of his neck in thought, “Great work. Now we can work on the Stratego thing in secret without stirring our students and also track them to make sure none go missing.”

Fetch silently nodded once in agreement, “But we should make some teams as a security. Group students so that they can handle things if anything goes down, on or off campus.”

“Good thinking, Fetch. I like that.” Delsin swallowed his pride for a moment to test the waters of this relationship between him and her. It looked like it may continue to float.

“I can get some lists together based on powers and strengths/weaknesses,” Fetch pulled out her phone, making a note to herself, “Have you told Rosaline anything yet?”

Eugene shook his head, “Not yet. I know we’ll have to loop her in just because of Caly, but I wanted to run all this by you both first.”

“... has anyone heard from Benji this morning? Is Caly still with him?” Fetch suddenly paused in her notetaking to glance between Delsin and Eugene. Both men shook their heads. She added that to her list, too.

“Looks like we have a plan. And a secret mission. Eugene–any new news about Stratego, let us know immediately. Fetch–I want to see those lists by dinner tonight. And I’ll work to get in contact with Rosaline and figure out the funding angle.” Delsin nodded to himself. His team was waking up and rising to action with an additional seven years of experience behind them in finding and taking down the so-called bad guys.

This should be easy. Once they had all the information. And knew what they were up against. And could keep everyone safe along the way. Delsin chuckled once quietly to himself.

Nothing was ever easy anymore.

#infamous sparks #infamous second son #delsin rowe #fetch walker #eugene sims #doctor rosaline hutch #caly #infamous fic #new oc and soon to be your favorite #the plot thickens #i love your tags on these reblogs

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asprinkleofkitties · 1 year ago

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is blogging still a thing?

short answer? kinda. and you wont believe that tiktok does play a role in it.

its not a 'no' because i cant go disgracing tumblr when i've been using it for almost 11 years.

okay. before we get right into it, a brief introduction to what the hell is blogging.

so, blogging. sounds ancient, doesn't it. well, it did started when we barely knew anything about the world. according to many other websites, has been defined as something that has been posted, where writers (or anyone else for the matter) can share their opinions on certain subject, mediums such as writing, photography or things that could be self-publishing online on a website, like tumblr. most people don't know that posting on your twitter, whatsapp statuses and instagram stories are considered microblogging.

see, the thing is, people think that blogging is dead when platforms like tiktok and instagram are thriving. but actually, said platforms are the reason why blogging is still relevant.

how come tiktok is the reason why blogging is still a thing?

well, when you blog, its basically just you posting about your day, what you eat, what activities did you do and so forth. it can be whatever you want it to be. there are various reasons as to why people are on tiktok. we were there because of covid.

sorry, shouldve put a trigger warning for that.

while most of us signed up to tiktok when ms rona ruined things for us to join trends, share knowledge etc, others would share their similar interests. i remember being on anitiktok, and lord, when i look at the old videos, they were sooo cringey. but hey, at least we've made the most out of it during the lockdown.

other than that, the most notable side of tiktok would be... drum roll please!

booktok.

so, what's the correlation here? how did tumblr and tiktok became the reason why blogging is still alive and breathing? what does booktok has to do with blogging?

booktok. for starters, is when users are to talk (sometimes they recommend) about books, rant about them, shit talk about how awful the story is (even goes as far as side eyeing the authors [*cough* im looking at you, colleen hoover]).

booktok is meant for people who are into reading. i mean, isn't it obvious?

so, yup. okay, not everyone knows that people go to tumblr to read self-published works of fictions. yes, reading a fanfic on someone's tumblr account on this website is still considered looking at someone's blog (and appreciating them like i do, i've been a loyal fan and reader of several authors on this site). people publish their works here is still considered as blogging because blogging can be anything.

tumblr started and has always been a site where people are able to blog whatever they want, in whatever form (text, gifs, arts, etc). as a result, users as able to look (and appreciate by interacting with the posts by liking, commenting and reblogging) at one's works because it also acts as an archive.

blogging can go from posting lifehacks, tips and advices for people to use as aids as well as to guide them so that they can relate, making them form an online presence.

so when i tell you that the reason why people are still blogging (and interacting with the blogs) because of tiktok, i meant it.

okay, so i mightve made a mistake. to clarify, booktok isnt the only reason why people are into blogging. anime fans, tv series fans like supernatural, movie fans, comic fans, animated fans like atsv fans (specifically miguel fans [aka me]) are the reason why people go to tumblr to blog.

(i love brooding older men sm yall hes so sexy)

people from all walks of life, specifically if their background is them being a fan of some type of media, is bound to use tumblr to either write a blog (in forms of fanfics/drabbles/oneshot etc) or to interact with them.

and that, ladies, gents and enbies, is the reason as to why blogging is still a fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. its the reason why people still use tumblr to blog. its the reason why tumblr is the place fans go to, to blog and do whatever they want on this app/site. sure, they go to wattpad or ao3 (hell, maybe even fanfiction.net if that site is still alive), but tumblr is one of the platforms (arguable the easiest one to navigate) to use for blogging and such.

and that concludes my opinion. blogging is still fighting for their life, even in the age of tiktok and whatever theyre doing over there (pretty much its vlogging, you know a video type of blogging)

(my right wrist hurt as we speak and i kinda went beyond the word limit so forgiefe mac or whatever it is they say in old/archaic english to be pardoned)

oh! if they ever would shut down tumblr, i would simply off myself cus what the hell am i gonna do? ಥ_ಥ

reblogs are appreciated!

#MDA20009 #Week 4 #divider by attxnt

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shiroi---kumo · 3 months ago

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//So what inspired you to write Kumo? I'm very curious

|| So I actually started writing Kumo many many years ago before I created this blog

This blog was born of the fact that I lost the log in for my old blog so I simply moved him. I've been writing Kumo (on Tumblr) since 2014 in truth. (Whoo ten years now)

I've been apart of the FFU fandom since the old days of the Japanese fandom sites and artist website galleries and circles and when the series DVDs were releasing one at a time. I saw FFU for the first time when I was 15 and it was on one of the trial DVDs that had like 1 episodes of a few different shows per disc that came in my friend's NewType magazine.

I fell in love with Kumo at first sight. He's been my favorite character since day 1. Since I was 15. It's been 21 years and I'm still desperately in love with this man. Kumo isn't just my favorite character, he's my dream cosplay and has been since I was just a teenager. So I've been invested in him and everything he is and everything that concerns him since I was just a wee tot in high school, so picking him up as a muse was really just everything coming full circle.

I picked him up as a muse because despite my nervousness because no one knew him my RP friends at the time encouraged me to do so. They knew I loved him and they said they would write with me even if they didn't know him at all ( and they did 😊).

I learned quickly how easily I could cross him over with literally anything and how versatile of a muse he was but personal matters drew me back from writing and I took a break from Kumo for a while. My intense love of FFU sparked again speaking to other friends in 2020 and being on a layoff from work at the time because of the lockdown, I rebuilt Kumo's blog.

Here we are. Four years later. Drowning in world building and lore and at least 50 OCs deep. Kumo and Kiri (his older brother (yes I write him too)) have always been special to me. Since I was a kid, and I mean that with every depth of my soul when I say that.

I mean begged my grandmother to go up to town with me on my learner's permit driving to the store with every scrap of money from pop bottles and other various ways a 15 yr old in 2004 can manage to find money I could manage to find saved up for months just to buy the next volume of FFU (vol.5) because the DVD that has Kumo and Kiri's episode on it finally dropped after months of collecting these DVDs starting at vol. 1, one at a time. The release date for Vol. 5 of FFU was highlighted and circled in my school planner because I waited so long to watch Kiri and Kumo's episode. It was important to me and still is. I've rewatched that episode alone more than 100 times.

FFU was my SHOW.

I can't put that in words enough. I watch it at least once a year every year for the last 20 years because it is my "I'm depressed and I need to be happy so I'm going to watch a thing I love" show.

Kumo's face has the power to cure depression and end wars to me I swear to fuck. I cannot give you the proper words to explain what I mean when I say that it's been 21 years and I'm still desperately in love with this man.

His voice just soothes me. His face melts my depression away. He is just - the best. He's my favorite and it took a long time for me to let myself be okay with that because some of my IRL friends teased and mocked me relentlessly for liking FFU as much as I do, but I can tell you right now - it's been 21 years and I am still desperately in love with this man - so yes of course I would write him.

Of course I would write him and expand his world and give him the backstory and home world and proper culture he deserves. So fun fact, FFU ran for 25 of 52 planned episodes and was cancelled 1/2 through because SquareSoft went bankrupt. The second half of the series is referred to as "Final Fantasy: Unlimited After" (After 2 / After Spiral) and was only ever released as a script book that was never seen outside of Japan. The day I got my hands on it, I cried.

It's been 15 years of me owning the novel "FFU: Bond of Two / Twin Stars" for Google to give me the tech to scan a page and translate it but my god I'm reading it now. 15 years I waited to read this novel and we're doing it dammit.

I can't begin to tell you what I mean when I say FFU is my show but it is and it's not perfect and has problems and it's so quirky but it's my quirky and I adore it to pieces.

So really it only makes sense that I would go whole hog on world building build Kumo's entire society and culture from the ground up for him. The creators sure didn't so someone needs to. They gave me a cookie cutter outline of Misterica and now it's mine to go crazy with and do whatever I desire.

And Kumo is so fun to write. He's so fun to write and explore and listen to him talk to me to tell me about his life and his people. It's so fun to meet his family and his friends and his society as a whole. Misterica is so dear to me, I just - can't. I love them so much.

I've loved Kumo as a kid, so of course I love him now. It's been 21 years and he still has my whole heart.

#tw; long post #ask || mun answers #anon || voices on the wind #// FFU is so special to me and Kumo is my everything #// he is my favorite of favorites and I adore him #// I always have and always will

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buckets-and-trees · 2 years ago

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The 24-hour Avengers NYE Party that will never happen again

Fandom: MCU

Characters/Pairings: TOO MANY, but pairing-light

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Crack fic. This is a pure bullet-point crack fic chronicling a NYE 24-hour marathon party in Avengers Tower. Does it make sense? I sure hope not!

Content Warnings: IT IS CRACK FIC, generally harmless pranks, non-graphic “it happened” sex moments (oral, male and female receiving), threesome, stolen identity pranking

Additional Notes: Once upon a time, @honeystevie, @artsynellyyy and @chrisdrysdale threw a discord sleepover, and on night two some of us west coasties were up late and got a bit giddy and mischievous – as you do at a sleepover – and suddenly it seemed like THE BEST idea and much more appealing for me to write a crack!fic than writing any of my other stuff. Part of this was a group effort (some key suggestions), part of it are callbacks to things that have come up in conversation across the various channels since the sleepover started. Did I put too much effort into this? Yep. I GOT CARRIED AWAY, AND I MAKE NO APOLOGIES. I make no promises over it making any sense or being any good, but hopefully it can just be what it’s meant to be.

The thing about Stark parties is they’re always extravagant, full stop. Tony has more money than all the gods you’ve ever heard of combined – at least all the gods from Earth. Tony doesn’t count Asgard. It’s like apples and oranges in that regard. The exchange rate is not really comparable. But it also doesn’t matter.

This party is the product of a dare. After one of Fury’s debrief meetings, Thor starts talking about his partying glory days, hopping from planet to planet, pulling entire civilizations into frenzied celebrations and ‘much reveling.’

“What, like it’s hard?” Tony spits out.

“No, of course it isn’t hard, the peoples of many planets enjoy a good celebration, that is the point,” Thor says, unsure of why this is becoming an argument.

“But it’s pretty easy to throw a killer rager when you have an endless supply of partiers who can cycle in and out to keep up the energy,” Tony retorts.

“Yes, the point was for as many as wanted to make merry,” Thor really doesn’t know where this is coming from or where it’s going.

But Rhodey does. He is thoroughly unsurprised when Tony declares he’s going to, “throw the most epic New Year’s Eve party EVER, twenty-four hours, Avengers only, mandatory lockdown, including YOU, Mary Sue.”

You roll your eyes. Just because you are the newest edition to the team, scouted and recruited for your exceptional abilities, certifying through both SHIELD’s training and Avengers’ training programs faster than anyone before you doesn’t mean you’re a Mary Sue. You were still discovering new powers on each mission, and your godfather Nick Fury was very protective, almost sending you on no missions at all, but he knew it meant everything to prove yourself to the world.

Because Fury’s your overprotective godfather, and technically not an Avenger, just the director of SHIELD, Tony tells him without any apology, that he is specifically NOT included.

“Contrary to the song, every party does NOT need a party pooper,” Tony explains, “and I can’t exclude Barton, so I’m already fighting an uphill battle here.”

“I’m the life of every party, and you know it.”

“It’s not a darts tournament.”

“Only because you know I’d win with my eyes closed and my good hand tied behind my back.”

Everyone’s Christmas presents are elaborate puzzle boxes holding their invitations inside. Bucky, Bruce, and Natasha are all able to open theirs almost instantly without help from anyone else because they’re huge nerds of their superior intellect.

It’s got multiple dress codes – four outfits, scheduled costume changes intended throughout the marathon party.

This, of course, means SHOPPING for you and the girls.

There are strict instructions that everyone is to arrive promptly on the 4th floor between 11:45 and 11:55pm on December 30th.

You’re surprised – but pleasantly so – to see that Tony extended invitations to some of the local superhero gang who’ve gone on some co-missions with the Tower Avengers as well as Shuri and T’Challa. Thor invited the Guardians, because Rocket and Groot, and Tony grudgingly said they could stay because they were acceptable gatecrashers and every real party needed gatecrashers, but he’s threatened Quill explicitly NOT to mess with the playlist.

“I’m only here because Rocket said Kevin Bacon might be here.”

Tony rolls his eyes and makes his way to the stage, not in the mood to deal with Flash Gordon any longer.

Tony gets on the microphone promptly at 11:55. “Congratulations, you all passed the first test and have proven yourselves worthy of entering this party. Here are the rules, risks, and rewards:”

One: there is a strict dress code for each phase of this party, you don’t follow it, you’re kicked out.

Two: there will be mandatory shots to commemorate the start of each phase except for the kid – you get a juicebox.

“I turned 21 this August,” Peter murmurs to Steve while Sam and Bucky snicker behind him.

Three: you have six hours of sleep time if you’re brave enough to take it, you can break it up however you want. FRIDAY will be monitoring all of your heart rates throughout the party – she knows your resting, elevated, and sleep heartrates, so there will be no cheating.

Four: we’re utilizing an international football foul rule: you get two yellows for minor infractions, red for a major infraction, and two yellows equal one red; red and you’re OUT

“What are considered fouls?” Bruce asks.

You’ll know it when you see it, Granger. You get ejected from the party or leave, you’re on paperwork for a month. Except you, opposite for you, you love paperwork too much.

And that’s all the warning any of you get.

Phase One – Fourth Floor of Avengers Tower – Costume Party – Literally just everyone's superhero costumes

Bruno Mars is performing as everyone enters and the initial shots prime the pumps of everyone (except the super soldiers).

There’s a nacho bar, Rocket has never had nachos before, but he declares it’s a good party munching food. He says this to Bucky. Bucky is uncomfortable over how frequently Rocket seems to be appearing next to him in those initial hours. He hasn’t forgotten the racoon covets his arm.

Natasha is on a mission to infuse silent chaos that cannot be traced back to her for twenty-four hours, and so she starts subtle but strong just moving people’s shit around, pick pocketing, lifting jewelry and accessories straight off people MASTERFULLY.

Every hour on the hour Tony has an orchestrated fanfare and to signal the turn of the new year in the appropriate countries, and servers circulate with a curated collection of savory and sweet small bites to highlight different regional cuisines.

At 3:30am Scott has decided what everyone really needs to get through the wee hours of the morning is chocolate chip cookies. Sam comes across him unsupervised in the kitchen, and it’s going okay but not great, so he tries to step in and help, but it’s Wanda who sees that the trouble is they’re trying to quadruple the batch but getting too chatty to keep track of how much of any ingredients they’ve put in, and she enlists FRIDAY in reviewing security footage to sort everything out and keep them on track for the rest of their foray into baking. This was also before everyone realized they were going to get far too much food with twenty-four hours of smorgasbords, and so they only cook half the dough, the rest put in the fridge for later.

Phase Two - Eighth Floor - Toga Party - Togas Provided by Tony

When Jessica Jones sees it’s a toga party, she declares she’s out. Frankly everyone was surprised she showed up – well, not everyone everyone. Prime opportunity for some prime booze? Of course she was in. She’s not going to do paperwork a day in her life, either, so the “consequences” were immaterial to her anyway.

Thor was sad to see her go, though, he liked her spunk and the actual challenge she presented over five rounds of arm wrestling. She liked his hip flask of Asgardian mead and lifted it off him before she left.

In other arm business, Bucky was not surprised when Rocket made a play for his arm, but then gets him to agree to play once and for all for rights to his arm over a game of black jack, and Bucky wins. (Shuri had actually brought a new prototype anyway, but Bucky had already decided not to adopt the new arm until after the party.)

Someone gifted Vision with a madlibs book and he brought it to the party. Wanda thinks it’s kind of cute. Tony and Rhodey balance their suggestions equally with normal words and double-entendres with straight faces so that Vis can’t discount their offerings, and somehow the normal words end up dirtier once inserted than the intentional words they served up.

Peter drops off unexpectedly somewhere around 10am and Carol and Valkyrie try to stick Peter to various surfaces without waking him up.

Just before noon, Bruce falls asleep sitting up, leaning into the end of the couch, arm propped under his chin. Yandu and Yelena microwave an obscene amount of chocolate and put it under Bruce while he’s sleeping to convince him he Hulk-size pooped his pants. “I’m not even wearing pants, it’s a toga!” “BANNER’S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!” “THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!” “THAT’S WHAT I HEARD HIM SAY!”

Phase Three - Sixteenth Floor - 80s Throwback

Heavy into the third phase, most people aren’t eating much, but Bucky is eating EVERYTHING. His super soldier metabolism helps him burn off everything so quickly, but for seventy years under HYDRA control, he was nourished only through an IV or specially formulated nutrient and protein rich shakes. This is more glorious than anything he could’ve asked for, and Peter sets up @buckyranksbites on Instagram, and by 3pm it’s gone viral and so he’s already got three and a half million followers. Peter puts a poll up on the stories, and the people have spoken: they want Bucky to go live tasting at 10, 11, and midnight. TBD on whether Bucky will do it or not.

Clint's crawling around the vents at this point. He’s getting all the hot goss like NOBODY’S BUSINESS at this point. He always has, he always will. Clint is not a messy bitch, but lord he knows everyone else’s messes.

During the first two phases of the party, Steve was trying to hold things together, control the chaos. By phase three, Loki has taken to disguising himself as Steve and is inciting chaos with actions that are both textbook Steve and uncharacteristic of Steve.

Bonus: Loki!Steve has also kissed everyone but Tony by 6pm. Everyone knows they are kissing Loki!Steve though because he specifically kisses everyone in plain view of the Captain.

Scott wanders into the kitchen again in the mid-afternoon and emerges with peanut butter sandwiches on iceberg lettuce. “No, you gotta try this, man! You will be pleasantly surprised!”

There’s a rubiks cube solving competition, and Shuri wins, but Nebula is pissed, having come in second in the final showdown.

The playlist for this phase is epic, and there’s a thirty-minute dance-floor stint to close out the 80s theme that has most everyone singing at the top of their lungs together.

Phase Four - Rooftop Suite of Avengers Tower - Gatsby Theme

Of course, it ends in a Gatsby theme. There’s nothing more over the top and nothing more glamorous. This is what you reveled in shopping for. Your dress is perfection, and no one can keep their eyes off you. Good thing your godfather isn’t around to scare everyone away.

Most of the prank shenanigans have mellowed out by now.

Except Natasha. She’s still silently and serially stealing and redistributing things. People are getting pissed now. It hasn’t come to blows yet, but it’s close in a couple of cases. Steve is putting out a lot of fires. Additionally, Nat is hacking into any of the phones she gets her hands on and is changing settings – languages, font sizes, notifications, adding rogue alerts, filling camera rolls with bogus and innocuous photos of anything (T’Challa now has 872 pictures of the wallpaper and a very particular spot of the marble countertop at the bar).

Matt Murdock knows it’s Nat. He’s sensed it from the beginning with his particular skillset. He corners her a little after 10. How she overlooked his Daredevil senses, she’s kicking herself over it. He suggests her behavior all day indicates she clearly has some pent up energy, and he’s more than happy to assist with that. She gets them out of the party hacking into part of FRIDAY’s protocols to expand the party boundaries to include her apartment on the ninth floor, and no one sees them the rest of the night.

Bucky does go live on Instagram at 10, and 11, but he abandons the midnight live bites because they were OVERRUN BY THIRST ON BORDERLINE BULLYING LEVELS by far too many people tuning in at 11. Bucky disables all the comments on his account. He almost deleted, but he’s discovered today that he actually likes being a food critic, and he’s got this platform now…

At 10 and 11, someone else is making discoveries, too. It’s Steve. He’s discovering that it’s okay not to keep everything so buttoned and under control. He’s tricked into “checking out this strange noise” at ten in Tony’s lab where Carol, who is frankly tired of watching how tightly wound up he is, throws him up against the wall and gives him the blow job of his dreams. Captain to captain, he returns the oral favor. They return to the party, and Steve is much more relaxed. He notices her grab a bottle of champagne and sneak off again around 11, but when he follows her, he finds she’s actually meeting Val, but they’re happy to invite him to join, Val happily riding his face, not minding a bit of delicious beard burn.

As things draw to a close for their final midnight (they’re only officially celebrating New York midnight and then Tony’s letting everyone disperse if they so choose after that point), it gets a little more sentimental, people settling into some small group pockets, reflecting on memories and also calling back some of their best laughs and inside jokes.

There’s an incredible fireworks show with the finale landing right at midnight with a final toast – hugs and cheers for some, kisses for those coupled up.

Peter managed one final prank of his own, hacking in a way even Tony will be proud later once he gets things back online with FRIDAY and can get back into his penthouse suite that Peter got FRIDAY to LOCK HIM OUT OF.

And that was the time Tony was a material gowrl, extra AF, proving a point he didn’t need to prove, and threw the most elaborate New Year’s Eve Party of all time. And in true end-of-crack-fic spirit…

And then they all fucked. The end.

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serenatheseraph · 2 years ago

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devildom on lockdown #1

this may sound familiar. it was something i never acted on cause i was lazy asf. so i'll try to do this again with various CRACK scenarios. dont do the shit their doing pls *mwah

♯ 1 : "Mammon's Adventure to San Francisco Pt. 1"

Mammon : Immm baaaaccckkkkkk! Ya miss me human?

MC : Not really (。_。)

Mammon :

Mammon : Fuck you too.

Leviathan: Mammon! There you are!

Mammon : Wow your coming to welcome your big bro back! I love ya Levi!

Leviathan : WHERE'S MY MONEY SO I CAN BUY THE NEW RURI-CHAN CD!

Mammon :

MC :

God :

The Wind :

Mammon : I hate ya too, brother.

Lucifer : Mammon! There you are, your late.

Mammon : How am I late I never specified when I'd be back!

Lucifer : *Bitch the fuck you mean stare*

Mammon : I mean I did! Sorry for tha' wait!

Lucifer : We need help moving all these boxes that are in MC's room.

Mammon : Why're there boxes in MC's room?

Lucifer : They-

Satan : Failed magic trick. That's all.

MC : How was your trip, Mams? Did you get mugged by a hobo?

Mammon : Haha.

MC : Well? Did you?

Mammon : Hahahaha

Leviathan : It's obvious he did! He's sweating and laughing nervously!

Lucifer : Nevermind that. Go wash up, who knows what you caught in the human world.

Satan : Yes, do that. Haven't you seen the news?

Lucifer : You expect me, a denizen of the Devildom, to know what goes on in the human realm?

Satan : Yes.

Lucifer : No, what's going on, Satan.

MC : People have corvette virus.

Lucifer : Corvette—the car...?

Satan: No. COVID...Coronavirus...

MC : Royaltyvirus, blah blah.

Lucifer : Lord Diavolo can contract this?

Satan : Lucifer, don't listen to MC. I took their IQ test.

MC : I'm smart as fuck.

Leviathan : Your not even as smart as a flamingo.

MC : Their pretty and that's all that matters.

Mammon : Shuddup, I'll go wash up aight!

[Some days later]

Mammon : *COUGH* I'm dy...dying... *cough*

Mammon : MC... Tell my brothers--I love them. Thro...throw away the shoe box under my bed and don't let Beel find it...p..please...

MC : The shoe box that has the millenium year old yogurt Beel had saved and has his name on?

Beelzebub : WHAT?!

Mammon : Shut the fuck up MC!—...it hurts...s...soo...muuuch...

Solomon : Oh be quiet, Mammon, it's just a fever. *cough* That I...also have. 😔

Leviathan : If it was just a fever why do I have it also!! *cough* Ugh...

Solomon : Diseases can spread???

Leviathan : True.

MC : Haha, Mammon, Solomon, and Leviathan have corvettevirus.

Simeon : Disease is not a joke, MC!

MC : Haha, Mammon and Leviathan.

Lord Diavolo : How did this happen Mammon?

Leviathan : Didn't you hear MC? We have corvettevirus!

Satan : *Coronavirus

Mammon : Well, it happened in San Francisco...

Everyone : Obviously.

Mammon : I was gone with Solomon.

Lord Diavolo : How about we hear Solomon's story first.

Barbatos : I agree.

Lucifer: I second that

Asmodeus : I third that!

MC : I four that.

[Solomon's version]

Solomon : (So, it really started the second we stepped out of the portal. Instead of being in front of the Grand Hotel, we were in downtown infront of the government building.)

Mammon : Aye! This tha Grand Hotel?!

Solomon : No, don't you see the sign there? It says San Francisco Government Office.

Mammon : Which the Grand Hotel is called...?

Solomon : *Faceplant* Let's just ask for directions.

[The two see a hobo, and then a business man]

Mammon : That guy looks friendly! *Points at the hobo who is obviously sick and has some flu*

Solomon : Ahem. No. We're going up to the gentleman, Mammon.

Mammon : Okayyyy.

Business Man : Oh hello there.

Solomon : Yes hello, do you know where the Grand Hotel is?

Business Man : Of course...

Luke : Uhm how did you guys get covid from that guy?

Solomon : It wasn't him, Luke.

MC : It was the hobo!

Solomon : Not him either...surprisingly I think.

Solomon : (Mammon had disappeared off somewhere after I got done speaking with the gentleman, and I had to search everywhere til I found him inside of a pawn shop...)

Solomon : MAMMON! What are you doing straying away like that!

Mammon : W-

Asmodeus : It's obvious what he was doing!

MC : He smelled... *Money money money...*

Belphegor : High five honestly.

Solomon : Stop interrupting the story Simeon's gonna break just look at him

Simeon : *On the verge of dying from constant story interruptions* (If yall remember that episode he got pissed off from Levi I have all respect)

Mammon : Well. I saw this shiny thing on the floor.

Solomon : So your pea sized brain just had to get it?

Mammon :

Mammon : Wow can you mind read?

Solomon : I'm not mind reading you.

Pawn Shop Owner : Hey hey, no arguing in my shop! Anyways sir... that coin is priceless! Are you sure you wanna give it up?

Mammon : How much does it cost?

Pawn Shop Owner : Hmm maybe close to a million.

Mammon : *Money panic* HELL YEAH!

Solomon : You idiot, you don't know what that coin is-

*Sold*

Solomon : Mammon...! Why'd you do that!

Mammon : You speak like that coin was cursed or something.

Solomon : Yeah no it wasn't.

Mammon : Good!

Solomon : IT WAS YOU IMBECILE!

to be continued. >> 🫡

#devildom.on.lockdown #obey me mammon #obey me solomon #obey me leviathan #obey me simeon #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me crack #nxhmir.obeyme

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theindiegamesautistic · 10 months ago

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A Short hike

probably spoiler free (I did my best, but no guarantees)

An impulsive lockdown purchase that I have yet to regret.

The idea is that you are a bird (I know, already brilliant) and you must climb to the top of hawk peak to get phone signal, so you can receive an important phonecall.

There's loads of other little guys (various creatures) to speak to with side quests and problems for you. Some of them just want a chat and they have some wonderful bits of life advice (I'm slightly joking, but some of its funny)

it claims to be 90 minutes of gameplay, and maybe, if someone with neurotypical level focusing skills made extra sure to stick to only the main quest with maximum efficiency, they could potentially complete it in a time close to that. I think I took about 4hrs to get to the top of hawk peak, then there's plenty left to do.

Personally, I don't think I've "completed" it. The boats update added more things to find and I know I've not found every golden feather yet. It's open world and there's enough going on that you can find many hours of activities, including toast!

sensory experience:

(this is based on my experience of it, so there's a chance I've missed bits)

It is in autumn colours, mostly muted, with some bright reds and greens (as shown in the picture above)

it has music that changes as the environment/circumstances change and feels like it progresses as you progress.

There are also background sounds as you interact with the environment (fires crackling, the boats engine, wind) and these, when playing with headphones, have a 3D effect (i.e. if the fire is on your characters left, you will hear the crackling on your left)

You can fly/dive with quite significant speed, causing the scenery to move fast rapidly, which made me a little dizzy, but it is difficult to create this situation by accident and it is not a required part of the game.

There is also a side of the island that is constantly experiencing thunder storms. It wasn't loud or unexpected enough to make me jump and there's no strobing, but it was definitely noticeable.

emotional experience:

Your character is unable to die and will not miss the phone call if you take a long time to get up hawk peak, which for me, lowers the stress.

Around the area with the thunderstorm, there is a small graveyard, but the style of the graphics means there's no names or any other details visible.

There are no deaths in the game.

The topic of the phonecall is revealed to be important to your character, and I believe it's implied that they are nervous about it, but you don't get more details until later.

Overall, it's fairly emotionally light and all characters are broadly friendly (some are a little blunt when they run out of things to say and want to get on with their task, but aren't we all)

Did I find it accessible?

(this is specific to me and what I find makes a game accessible, but it might be useful to people with similar access needs)

easy of learning controls: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I found the controls intuitive and simple. Information is given by characters in the game, which means you can start immediately, however I do wish there was somewhere all the controls where written that I could refer back to without having to end the game (there might be, but if there is, I haven't found it)

processing speed/reaction time requirements: ⭐⭐⭐

the main quest doesn't require fast reactions or processing, however, there are a few side quests that do. these are not critical to the game, however, I found how long I needed to spend to complete them slightly frustrating. However, most of the side quests do not require fast processing.

focus requirement: ⭐⭐

the perspective changes within the game means that you sometimes need to change keys to walk in a straight line, which can mean you go off in an unexpected direction.

overall, yes, I found I was able to access all aspects of the game, even though a small number of things took me a little longer.

overall ratings

autumn vibes: 🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁 very

happy stims while playing: ✨✨✨✨ quite a few

time lost that i didn't notice:⌚⌚⌚⌚ lots

boats:🚤 only one that you get to drive, but it's alot of fun

#a short hike #indie games #autumn #autism is my favourite season #game review #accessibility #thanks for reading my infodump

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sloshed-cinema · 1 year ago

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Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions (2020)

This is perhaps the most Pandemic Lockdown of all concert videos. Am I a pretentious indie-head who only deigned to listen to this in 2020 because I was losing my mind and knew about the involvment of various Dessners from The National in the record, and because Sufjan Stevens’ The Ascension was still months away? Yes. Did I drink an entire bottle of rosé while listening to it and grudgingly admit to myself that I liked it? Yes. And what better way to capture that tenuous moment of transition midway through lockdown than with this moment: some performers are together in an isolated location, others “Skype in” as it were. It’s minimalist in all regards. The camerawork isn’t terribly interesting, but I suppose there are only so many ways you can shoot a studio. Early tracks are stripped to the bone in a way almost pushing beyond simplicity, though the overall performance of the album does gain a greater degree of textural variety and interest as it goes along. It’s a fine document of a fine album and a bit of a snapshot of a time we’d probably all rather forget on some level or other.

What’s more interesting to me is how I felt ever more like some sort of anthropologist while watching the film. Co-producer Jack Antonoff reads as the coolest middle schooler in his wardrobe and try-hard attitude, though by midway through I just wanted to bully him or something. Aaron Dessner, meanwhile, was introverted and the picture of impeccable musicianship—every once in a while the camera seems to gasp at him effortlessly and efficiently ripping out fingerstyle riffs while Antonoff frantically strums away on the other side of the room. The fireside chats were a thing of beauty even just in terms of watching where the wine bottle wandered and whose glass had a different level than in an earlier snippet. It’s a little goofy and weird, everyone extremely complimentary, but at the end of it all, the musical synergy is there. If nothing else, there are subtle casts to Swift’s gaze which indicate just how personal this is, even beyond lyrical jabs. If she’s got a bit of a mask on in interviews it slips away some in performance. Unless this is just another intentional layer. Let’s over-analyze the piece.

THE RULES

PICK ONE

Select either LOCKDOWN, PANDEMIC, or QUARANTINE and sip whenever that is mentioned.

SIP

A track begins.

The camera seems shocked at Dessner's musicianship.

Every time someone at the fireside chat takes a drink.

Exterior drone shot of Long Pond Studio.

BIG DRINK

William Bowery is mentioned or credited.

Jack, a 'bit' has to be funny for it to be a 'bit'.

AW SHIT THE WINE BOTTLE MOVED

#drinking games #folklore #long pond studio sessions #taylor swift #the national #aaron dessner #musical #documentary #covid lockdown

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musical-chick-13 · 8 months ago

Note

Purple, Yellow, Brown let's gooooooo

💜 Purple: Name one song you're listening to while writing your next/current fanfic. How or why does it help the writing process?

YES I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ME THIS.

Okay, so we're. On closer to god lockdown for...however long it takes me to finish this (aside from hopefully doing something silly for their anniversary), but I have very much had "Frankenstein" by Rina Sawayama on repeat. The upcoming chapter is where the "negotiation" part of the "kink negotiation" happens, and I think this song is a pretty good representation of River's headspace at that time. Because she's stubborn af and doesn't want to talk about her problems, immersing myself in a musical reflection of where she is emotionally really helps me parse out how to get her through this conversation (and its related personal development) in a way that feels authentic and realistic. This song is a representation of what she feels but isn't saying--and if I know what she's not saying, that makes it easier to figure out what she is going to say.

💛 Yellow: Do you ever alter, highlight, or de-emphasize certain canonical traits in a character? If so, why and describe how.

Oh, if I CAN make a character mentally ill, I'm going to. If a character I like has even a hint of serious emotional or psychological struggles, I am going FULL exploration mode. This is because, as I'm sure everyone is well aware, I am mentally ill, and there is...not a whole lot of discussion or intentional representation of this. And you know what they say: if it doesn't exist, try writing it yourself.

I can and will lean into women being fucked-up in various ways, and I...definitely emphasize those women's love interests being into their deranged behavior.

And I'm probably most likely to de-emphasize a lack of communication skills. Not to the point of completely overwriting it or ignoring it (chapter 3 of closer to god has been kind of a bitch to write sometimes for a reason), but...I like writing characters talking. And for them to really talk, there has to be a way to get them on the same page. The communication difficulties will still be there, but I'm willing to downplay them if I have to.

🤎 Brown: How did you decide to write (or why are you writing) a certain fanfic? (Asker, feel free to choose a specific story you're curious about. You can also let the answerer choose the story.)

I answered this here! But tldr, usually my brain gives me Ideas™ and then I have to write them down before they completely commandeer my ability to mentally function. (Either that or I was procrastinating an assignment, lmao.)

Although for uh. A REALLY unhinged one-shot I have coming up. Pretty much that decision came about from going, "What is the weirdest thing I could write?" and then just. Running with that. (Though it's still primarily the "needing to write down this idea so it doesn't steal my braincells" thing.)

Fanfic ask game!

#THANK YOU FRIEND 💜💜💜#multi t(ASK)ing #c2g #The Fic That's A Lot #(<-because I do talk about it)#I am...NOT getting into everything that went into deciding to write closer to god

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beigeshiba · 1 year ago

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If you're really Beige Shiba, why are you carrying on about Astrology so much?

That's honestly a fair question, intrusive thought in my head, let me address that.

So, one of the big reasons why I decided to have a big, long, quiet time out to contemplate when Twitter finally got tired of my bullshit is because I had already had the unpleasant realisation that ideology was a dead end.

I'd been spending several years going "Maybe Moldbug is right that political absolutism would be an improvement" and then Victoria goes and turns into an absolutist state where the rule of law basically goes out to lunch for 2+ years in favour of the daily televised brain farts of a fat midwit with a messianic complex and I got to find out what corporate sponsored fascism is like to experience.

Turns out I didn't like it that much. Yeah, I know most people were able to figure that out the easy way but I never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the box, did I?

So, those people who were hanging out with me during that quiet period, either IRL or Discord were aware that I was spending a fair bit of that time incandescently angry, for various reasons. My cat died, my mother's dementia got to the point where she didn't recognise me and was so incapable of doing basic tasks I couldn't even look after her for a few hours so my sister and her husband could get some adult time together. My job was becoming more and more insufferable because people were flat out refusing to listen to vendors becoming increasingly frank about the ongoing deterioration of supply chains for various enterprise IT products and their implications for lead times and the necessity of qualifying sales leads based on the client's required timelines.

I did some pretty drastic and practical things to see about improving my mental state. I reduced everything I owned to what would fit in my sedan and an 8x5 trailer (Yes, I kept the motorcycle) and took it 1,000 miles to a town where the most succint way I can describe how remote it is without being too revealing is that I can easily see the milky way in the night sky from my backyard.

Moving to the country and being in the company of someone who loves you helps a lot, though it's far from being a panacea. It helped give me the space to try and figure out a mental framework to help make sense of what had happened to me and what to do about it. And it turned out that what healed me a lot in that regard was astrology.

Once again, John Michael Greer was a big influence here. Don't bitch too hard trads, he was the one who got me into the habit of praying a daily rosary. His talking about mundane astrology when he was doing the podcast circuit to promote "Twilight of Pluto" got me interested. I'm still of the opinion that his "Pluto is going away as a major influence" is wishful thinking, because I sure would like a big, slow moving malefic to no longer be fucking with people and having it just ride off into the sunset seems just a little too easy.

What really was my "This shit works" moment is when I started thinking about how Saturn (and the outer planets in general) has this odd habit of doing the Hokey Pokey whenever it's doing a transit between signs and how the timing of that seemed really similar to Melbourne's back and forth between "EVERYONE'S UNDER HOUSE ARREST" and "Nah it's fine our lockdowns stronk covid defeated". So I decided "Oh hey do the lockdowns match up with that at all". And yeah, the lockdowns were pretty much bang on with Saturn in Aquarius being dystopian fascist bullshit and Saturn in Capricorn being brief periods of relative normalcy.

And that's when I started thinking there was something to this and just swan diving down the Astrology rabbit hole.

The key realisations I took out of this were extremely helpful in helping me to move on from ideology.

1: "This Too Shall Pass". Gaining an awareness of the cyclical timing behind social and political trends helps keep me from just going doomer mode "THIS IS JUST GOING TO KEEP GETTING WORSE FOREVER!" which Wombat was all too familiar with having to talk me out of at regular intervals.

2: You know how political arguments on the internet never change anyone's mind, ever? Well, that makes sense with the understanding that people's beliefs and behaviours aren't really their own. Marxists kinda sorta understand this, it's just that they're loaded down with the mental ballast of dialectical materialism, which obligates them to pretend that only our material circumstances have a significant influence on our behaviour, even though that's a weak position that's trivially easy to demonstrate the falsity of. Conversely, if we're all actors in a play of cosmic forces struggling for dominance and balance, then it makes a great deal of sense that very few people can ever break free of the celestial influences we're acting as agents of.

3: There is no left, there is no right. That shit is all performative fake bullshit. They're so clearly just two different means of coming to the same conclusion that it's like something from a Telltale Games series. That conclusion: Anything which seriously challenges the status quo is the work of madmen who are going to get millions of people killed. Either it's gonna be the Nazis putting everyone in cattlecars and slaughtering them somehow, or it's gonna be the commies causing a massive Great Leap Forward/Holodmor famine. And I dunno how many decades without any Nazis or commies showing up and doing that shit, have to happen before it gets into people skulls that we've moved on from those particular fuckups and instead we're moving on to newer, more innovative, more deeply horrifying fuckups in the future, the way things are presently going.

At this point, every Direction Brain who is either carrying on about how everyone who isn't 100% on board with the latest corporate scam is a Nazi who wants to kill everyone, or someone carrying on about how the latest talking head who just coincidentally is the son of a CIA agent is "based" just gets mentally replaced by a soyjack holding out their fucking smartphone into my face. I'd love it if these people could take on an interest in a form of spectacle more appropriate to their degree of mental capacity, like professional wrestling.

At this point honestly the most accurate words I could apply to describe what political leanings I have any more are "Catholic" and "Saturnian" and that kinda suits me down to the ground because the number of people who are going to really understand what either of those things really mean (let alone both) is very small and frankly that's really the only people I want to talk to about this kind of stuff any more.

#astrology #ideology #culture war #rant post

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furmity · 2 years ago

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Indigenous Voice to Parliament

I saw a Youtube ad which really bothered me. You may know that later this year Australia will have a referendum on whether there should be an Indigenous Voice to Parliament written into the constitution. This ad was authorised by Advance Australia and featured an Indigenous woman with her Scottish husband saying they didn’t want their family to be divided by race. It’s treating the Voice as though it will be some kind of apartheid.

I now know her to be Jacinta Price, a centre- right senator. I now know what Advance Australia is, and that it’s members have an average age of 50, with 60% men. The number of times the word “woke” appears on their website! Ban trans girls and women from sport! oppose climate hysteria! defend ANZAC and Australia Days! muscle up the army for the Chinese and Islamist threats! anti- lockdown (when did we last have one?!)! and something which doesn’t say in as many words but appears to be anti- vaxx. It’s all FREEEEDOM!! Aussie Aussie Aussie! Down with the woke left! They’re brainwashing our kids!

The Voice originates from the 2017 Uluru Statement from the Heart, forwarded by Indigenous leaders to address inequalities in Australia and promote self determination for the First Nations. By every convention of international law, Australia was invaded. Sovereignty was never ceded. Native Title is the weakest form of property right in the common law.

The Voice will not be appointed by the executive, but elected by Indigenous communities themselves. They will be watched for corruption and misconduct in the same way as any government body (probably closer if we’re fucking honest...), and won’t deliver programs on its own. It’s a Voice, not a veto.

The proposal does not include removing the Constitutional sections which were flagged by the Expert Panel on the Constitutional Recognition of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders in 2012. Section 25 allows for people of “any race” to be disqualified from voting, though it’s called a dead letter (like s 41, don’t get me STARTED on that). Section 51 (xxvi) is the “race power”, which is not dead as you will know if you are at all familiar with the Hindmarsh Bridge affair. Keeping these sections is worrying, and would have been the wiser change to begin with. How these will interact with a new s 129 remains to be seen, but gives fuel for a “don’t divide us by race” fire.

My hope in the Voice is that it will be the first inching step towards a treaty, led by Indigenous people in Canberra. I hope the Voice gets more Indigenous people into politics, full stop. I hope the Voice leads us to a republic. I hope that the Voice speaks of conservation and land management. I hope the Voice streamlines the processes of the various commissions and committees sent out to remote communities, which don’t ultimately change anything.

Australia has a pretty poor record on referendums. We’ve tended to not have enough information on how changes will work, and of course most people will only agree if it perfectly reflects their views. I think the openness of the statement we are being asked to say yes/ no to is vital. I doubt the Voice will be particularly effective immediately, there’s a lot of sorting out to do. I do think, though, that Constitutional change is for the far future and what a country that could be.

A Voice is literally the least you could allow, the least the representatives at Uluru could have asked for.

#law #australia #vigilance

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simonalkenmayer · 10 months ago

Text

During the experiment some people went as far as to target any and all humans they could connect to me—my editor, my agent, and publishers they believed to be mine. I had to have numerous phone calls with them, the police, and employees.

Some wanted proof. And they went to varying lengths to get it: manipulation, persuasion, bullying, and investigation. Some wanted connection to something outside themselves that they perceived to offer answers, and to varying degrees did the same as the above. Some wanted a fun game to play, and I was expendable. Some wanted to condemn me, and so found every single excuse they could. All of it.

But I was always there just to watch what you did with the unresolvable question of me.

When I set up my discord server (which resulted in my favorite gentle antagonist writing numerous essays as to how and why my doing so was “problematic” and indicated the human behind it must be nefarious for xyz, which amused me to no end) I had a much larger purpose than chit chat. Discord as a platform presented me with a great opportunity, especially given the confines of the Covid lockdown. The intent was to create a task-based group. That group would need to be focused around a singular goal. That was obviously me. Or rather my puzzle. Many of the participants were just curious folks who came seldom. Many however, were specifically chosen because of their personality type. I gave specific people power, and then I watched how they’d use it. I watched the group begin to break down. At every turn I was attempting to find various ways to halt collapse, and several times succeeded in undoing the pattern that was occurring. I included more people of varying types and predicted their interactions to stunning effect, then waited for the inevitable point at which it would break. Then…I failed, and the group polarized and collapsed. Proving, at least to me, that group collapse is both predictable and avoidable.

Yes, experiments within experiments.

When the collapse happened, I shut down the server, because collapse often causes harm to participants when group members continue to fight and target each other. Among those people was someone I was now convinced was in an active mental health crisis, and that actually necessitated I handle things in a more direct way. Again, quite predictably, the ones who had been positioned to take up blocking roles, thus collapsing the group, made another server specifically to begin bullying me. They tried to use this new group to gain dominance over me, or force me to alter behavior or concede to their victim status, but I would not, because I am not interested in their malice, just what they do with it.

As predictable as that was, those same people then collapsed their own server. Meanwhile, i had managed to weed out all the toxic people in the group, which meant I could keep hold of the ones who were lovely folks, and have enjoyed meeting some of them once things came to an end.

I knew, when I came forward, my revelations would cause an ideal scenario, and so it did.

1. One group was amused or interested in my experiment. They saw some of the potential it had for generating information, and they participated. Some eagerly. Some less frequently. Some spent money on books. Some never bothered. The idea was to make everything accessible to varying degrees to have a measure for what lengths people would go to. This was my favorite group, as they interacted in good faith and with manners, and when they tired they left.

2. One group was filled with people who immediately attacked. Name calling, in depth analysis of my reported flaws, curses, and so forth. As much malice as they could put forth. I didn’t mind. Why would I if I’m studying it? I commented on it, argued with it all as an intellectual pursuit—to see if they would alter course. But no. When the targeting became vicious enough, I knew it’d spill out into the world, into actions. Just had to wait and see what form and when. Of course I’d create layers of protections to keep myself safe if I needed them, but I do not. Didn’t stop them from presuming they had found out my name. And targeting them.

3. One group was composed of people I call the “grabby hands” group. The grabbers want something from me for their own perceived benefit. It could be something as simple as “did these events actually happen?” Or as complicated as “buy me a prosthetic/car/house/surgery/presents/et cetera.” I am generous, and I had to play along to see how far they’d take it. Some stopped at meeting their need. Some never stopped. Some wanted tangible things. Some wanted my attention. Some wanted my ear, some my teeth. I’ve been asked to eat relatives, abusers, victimizers, and on and on. Some just wanted someone to embody specific ideas they have of reality, making them tangible. Some wanted to fuck me. My least favorite but certainly the most unusual.

4. One group never participated but used me as fodder for tertiary humor. YouTube, Facebook, screencaps taken of my content and used to make memes. No permission given. Some even borrowed my name, as stupid as that is given the above. Yes, I kept track of this as far as I could, but they weren’t important to me.

5. One group wanted me as a replacement for someone else or something else.

The most profound thing I realized during the course of all this is that the world has changed. Humans now are so solipsistic as to defy reason and even in benign situations resort to manipulation in almost all they do. You no longer have relationships. You have transactions.

Whenever I encountered someone who wanted to explain to me how I fit into some nonsensical worldview, I would always default to “this place is my reality and I control it. That is not real. You need mental healthcare” because that is my ethical obligation.

I did not have friends during the course of this study, whatever the participants may have thought. I was friendly and true to my nature, but I never compromised myself for them. And overall, that was the thing that caused the most turmoil.

People wanted the puppet, not the iron hand beneath it. It was when I refused them, or refused to be what they wanted or said I was, that they evinced the most interesting and telling behaviors.

Ive tried numerous times to make all this clear—to make it clear that I was always ALWAUS waiting to see which personality type would do what.

And I was always right.

Dismaying, but also something I celebrated.

So many people had big emotions about me, and how they dealt with them showed me their type. Then I just had to position them and see if they’d do what was expected. They did.

And whenever I tried to warn them that they were investing these big emotions into giant elaborate actions like keeping an entire blog devoted to harming me in some way was just…well a function of their terrible characters, which I was there to study. Even when I told them, OUTRIGHT, “I am studying your reactions to this. Do you not comprehend that what you are doing now is ridiculous?” Even that dose of reality made no difference. They were that invested in forcing me down to the ground to be kicked.

Be so assured in your emotions and reasoning and “facts” that you’d go to great lengths to punish me for sins you think I’ve committed—all of it was data. That’s it. And no amount of warning would get them to stop.

Both amusing and frustrating at the same time.

Layers to an experiment produce incredible outcomes. Some studies put people in assumed danger. They’re not in danger, but think they are. Some studies convince people they are harming someone. Some even fill rooms with smoke and use actors to play other participants. Why? All to harmlessly reproduce a real world situation in order to study the behavior that emerges.

I was uniquely positioned to do just that, just by being myself.

I cannot help if people did not expect layers of complexity. That’s just life.i am also not responsible for their appalling behavior, and none of their actions are excused simply by me saying “it didn’t hurt” or “I predicted and indeed arranged for you to have this chance to behave this way”.

I wanted a riot. I played music..it turned into a dance. I waited for the riot. And because of the behaviors of a few, the behaviors of all involved fell right into the pattern, and there we have it. A riot.

You can explain the entire thing and all the layers to a person…but it won’t change their behaviors if they have gone to a specific point. Interesting no?

Rather like arguing with MAGA.

Cognitive dissonance and arrogance. Man’s chief flaws.

So recently Elmo…who is a puppet on a man’s hand, asked people how they were feeling. The response gave us a glimpse into the zeitgeist of this decade. Humans are miserable here.

Larry David, a comedian who plays a character that rants and raves about things, picked on Elmo. Everyone went mad about it. They were willing to extend humanity to Elmo and defend it, but not see the HUMAN as human, nor indeed presume he too is playing a character.

Why am I talking about this?

Reminds me of when some people argued I’m a character, but then proceeded to try and call everything I said either abusive, racist, or ableist. Just for shits and giggles.

You cannot presume a character is giving you truth. Nor can you assume a character is real by sacrificing the human behind it. There’s a serious flaw in how humans think.

If I’m human, it’s a performance for some cause which you do not know, but usually performances are there to either expose truth or comment upon it.

If I’m a monster, then give me the personhood to which I’m entitled and allow me the same chances you have to learn and change my opinions in real time, not that they necessarily need it.

Humans however, splice meaning and reality together as seems fit.

My gentle readers fit into these three categories:

1. Humanize the monster and defend it with everything

2. Be angry at the human using the monster to comment on reality, without ever considering that there may be layers to the artifice, designed to create a specific scenario, a la an experiment.

3. “I’m going to give all that garbage a miss and just accept you as you present yourself”

Guess which one was statistically the smallest group.

Nevertheless, I am me. In this place, you have no idea who that is. You know only what I tell you. I don’t tell you everything because I’m controlling the rules for a reason. Hate me or like me, doesn’t matter. The reality of me will never be what you think it is, because everyone controls their presentation to some degree.

All the world is a stage, and we are merely players. No one knows anyone really. And so…the discussion regarding me, integral to the experiment, finds me much amused no matter the outcome.

This is why I do not have any emotional connection to what you say of me…whatsoever.

Your opinion of me is irrelevant. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings—that your idea of me doesn’t have an affect on me as you wish it would…but ah well….i cannot make myself care.

That has always been so. The point was to find what you thought and why, not care about what you think or why. Not change myself or the artifice to suit you.

You weren’t the focal point of the experiment. Your behavior was.

That’s the problem. You think everything that comes out of you is a) important b) has bearing on reality c) unique or interesting and not a pattern anyone can see if they know what to look for.

It’s not.

Its your own need to have that meaning that gets in the way of accurately interpreting any reality

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