#yes she is on my homescreen in-game now

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

so. uh. I like julia sowinski

[mythicamagic]

have you played Love and Deepspace and what is your review on it??

Hello! Yes I have. It's sitting in my homescreen right now on my phone.

I think my opinions on it might be quite mixed or controversial? So just bare that in mind before reading.

I've played a looot of otomes. I think I started playing them in 2009. I can very much say that LADS is a unique experience. It's not like anything I've ever played before in terms of graphics, cinematography and interaction with your fictional boyfriends.

The Great:

I think the interface and design is really nice in certain aspects (the combat is a bit iffy). This is a very pretty game imo. Also can I just say, having a customisable MC is really great! I like that you can change not just her skintone but her voice settings as well. I also just- LOVE the 4 and 5 star cards content. They hold some examples of lovely scenarios written with care, and some good ole fanservice to boot as a treat. Whoever does the lighting for the 5* cards does a marvellous job, as the animations really feel 'alive' sometimes. Great direction with using the MC as the POV so the 'camera' swings or moves closer according to how she's reacting. Love that.

The LIs:

I think having a varied cast is important in otomes but a common vibe or theme can often be shared between their contrasting personalities. For Piofiore its mafia/crime lords and domestic life, for Cafe Enchante cosy coffeeshop vibes. With Love and Deepspace I'd say its cosy vibes mixed with action, mixed with angst. The cast supports this, with all of them having serious or sweet sides. I am definitely not drawn to some of them, but that's okay! I think anyone going in new should know they won't like everyone and that's common for otome. What I find uninteresting might be wonderful to someone else and vice versa. I will say Sylus took the spot as my favourite and he has a very different vibe to the others even when he's doing cosy domestic stuff. I very much enjoy his scenes and how dynamic they feel (also its really nice the whole cast is in their twenties)

The Bad:

The worst casualty in Love and Deepspace is...the main story. I can't overstate how much of a confusing, poorly written and badly executed mess the main story is. In terms of setup, establishing lore, world building and stakes, it somewhat limps from one chapter to another. Scenes can begin and end abruptly with plot threads seemingly dropped. Secrets can often be intriguing, yes- but by continually withholding answers the game can get a bit frustrating. As a new player with no knowledge of the game, I didn't understand why Rafayel kept referring to himself as a fish during the crane game and kitty card mini games. It was like they were referencing something that hadn't happened yet in game, so I was like - okay, I'll wait. I'm sure it'll be explained (spoilers: it was not explained).

Essentially if you want backstory and context to the boys you NEED their cards to unlock their content, and I'm not a huge fan of that. I think the main story should still at least give you a bit more to work with about the boys. (This is especially bad when the lore is locked behind gacha luck). And I get that the whole story is space/time themed but sincerely I did not know the world of Love and Deepspace was capable of casual space travel until I read Sylus' anecdote story. This is not good worldbuilding. Sure it throws loads of terminology at you but you'll have to read the notes yourself to understand what they are. It's a lot of telling and not showing. For an example of how this could've been done: Cowboy Bebop is about bounty hunters in space. It has scenes of them...in space. You're telling me someone as rich as Sylus, who offers MC to go on his motorbike, yacht, and private jet, wouldn't offer her a circle around the planet in his spaceship? Idk it feels like a lot of worldbuilding details have been overlooked.

There is also the issue of voice acting. This can again come down to personal preference but in general I always give English Dubs a fair chance, and enjoy many of them. Voice acting has come a long way since the wooden performances of older animes and games. That said, many of the boys, especially in the earlier chapters and content sound extremely flat. This goes double for the NPCs (who can be laughably bad). It's not even a matter of 'oh this person is just reading lines with no emotion' no the inflections in their voice are off- the context of what they're supposed to be emoting to can feel a million miles off base. I barely felt like they were in the scene with me. That said - this was likely a voice direction issue, because more recent content allows the boys to sound more relaxed and involved in the scene. Sylus' English VA knocks it out of the park in his performance though and I really appreciate how much he embraced that role. A lot of people could get embarrassed having to voice ASMR type content but he got fully immersed so 10/10 for that. I haven't tried any other languages apart from Japanese but c'mon, we know the Japanese VAs are like celebrities over there and will crush any role so no notes there except they're all great.

TLDR:

With all that said I do not hate the game, I really enjoy it! (I wouldn't have ranted so much here if I didn't care) I just wish certain aspects were tightened up more for storytelling purposes. It feels a bit jarring when some aspects of the game are SUPER polished but then easy mistakes are made. So I'd say if you're interested in playing - to just embrace the fluff and spicy fanservice. Treat it as your main meal as I do. If you end up enjoying the main story and combat then that's a bonus! I really hope this game continues to be successful because their recent content and chapter has been super intriguing - and in general its just nice to have an otome reach the spot of 3rd highest grossing mobile game during some months (below the giants like Genshin and HSR)

[seraphirism]

🐈‍⬛anon is here!!

Well, I would love to pull gacha but I'm too broke for it, I have only like 19k of butterflies? Sadly, I don't have an opportunity to buy butterflies (if I could've, I would've bought voiced episodes... but sadly I can't follow my dreams...) but probably I will pull gacha anyway and have some ugly ahh shoes like every time I try to trick my luck.

As for the type— yeah, calm and gentle ones are really a good type, I'm a sucker for those who are kind to me and are like 'you can depend on me☺️'. I instantly turn into that one meme where a werewolf is ripping apart his shirt. Maaan, to be honest I was a Teddy fan when the Villa butlers were added to our Barbie Dream House crew BC he's soooooo sweet and cheerful and and and— *got shot* ehem anyway, I'm sorry, I'm rumbling. Have a good day Sol!! And yeah, it's a pity we can't add friends in aknk bc honestly? that would be very fun and nice. I hardly have anyone to discuss my devil boys with so it would be cool to have some friends in the fandom.

exactly, I have like 4k butterfly diamonds now 😭 like it’s almost funny. while aknk isn’t a pay to play game (like at all), it is a very pay to get the cards kinda game. like almost all Japanese fans (who’s fan content I consume voraciously on twitter) pull on the guaranteed (paid) banners of their favourite characters events. it’s almost useless going for the normal gacha unless you’ve saved up a heck lot.

while I do feel the compulsion to spend money on the gacha, it’s hella expensive for me when I convert Japanese yen to my country’s currency 😭 I felt the most tempted when I saw that we had to pay to unlock the voiced main story chapters; like damn, I love story content that’s completely voiced. aknk already has a very strong voice actor cast—don’t tempt me (T-T)

before I started replaying in June of this year, I was kinda apprehensive about the villa butlers (I knew nothing about them). I thought I wouldn’t like them as much as I liked the original cast of butlers. then for funsies (before reading the 2.5 update), I thought I’d consume some casual Teddy content…

and then I had a miss jackson moment (yes, from the meme). next thing you know, within minutes i had read 2 of his initial card stories.

like I remember showing one of his scenes to my sister (where he’s holding a mop in his hand), dressed in sports wear and that my friend changed my brain chemistry; my sister said that he was the most babygirl guy she had seen in a long while.

like I want to take him out on dates. no, he’s not my butler—he’s my girlfriend ✨💗💅

the recent stories have almost made me forgot that he’s not a lil cute swordsman nerd—he’s been through hell and back 😭 his past has been brushed over but I don’t think it’s completely over. i think more nitty gritty stuff will come out; you can see it subtly in how obsessed he is with becoming better and stronger, more reliable in the eyes of Aruji and the rest.

ahem—see I blabber a lot when I get the opportunity to do so (๑>◡<๑)!

yes, I don’t have many people to talk to either about aknk 😭 tumblr is still a blessing where we do have some fans active. I hope some of the fan content creators from twitter migrate to tumblr 🙏 tumblr is way too comfortable for me; twitter is kinda intimidating (^_^)

also, I can’t believe it’s October already. the year went by so fast〜we’ll be having a Halloween event and then in December we’re going to have the anniversary event (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) I can’t wait for it!

have a lovely day, 🐈‍⬛–anon! also, have you checked out some of the homescreen interactions of Bellen and Shiro? man, Shiro’s conversations with the butlers are so entertaining, while Bellen on the other hand is living up to his title of the older brother of all time ✨

[atsuwiee]

accidentally confessing to your bestfriend! enhypen.

because, this actually happened to me irl- they ended up liking me back as well so this scenario (?) is purely based on what happened to me lmaoo

warnings: i think i put in some swear words- and slight angst on jay's part lol

also this is kinda long so be rEadY ?? anyways enjoy wie woo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

heeseung

it was a normal weekend hangout at your place with heeseung, though he had noticed you were acting a bit strange when he arrived. both of you were at your room and your eyes were glued to your phone, thumbs moving at a fast pace, while heeseung was on the floor playing a video game alone. for the longest time you've had a crush on heeseung and you had planned on telling him countless of times but you didn't know when to- while texting your other friends about him and them persuading you to go on and tell him now- you feel your phone get grabbed out of your hands. "hey give me that!" you say as you reached for your phone only to be pushed back into the bed (playfully) by heeseung. "you're texting your crush, aren't you?" he said playfully as he kept your phone out of reach. "shut up and give it back, lee heeseung!" heeseung didn't listen to you at all instead he got on top of and started to tickle your sides. "tell me who! and i'll stop" he said as he got closer to your face, slowly the redness of your cheeks become evident. "as if!" you scoff as he continued to tickle you. "gosh, okay, okay! heeseung it's you!" you say in between laughter only for this to stop when you realized what you had just said. "i- okay i didn't mean that-" you say as you cover your mouth. "you like me?" "yeah dumbass-" you were cut off by his lips that pressed onto your cheek. "i like you too, cutie"

jay

playing the famous game never have i ever with jay at a literal ungodly hour, out of boredom, you both had been going back and forth at each other for any potential blackmail material you (both) could use. jay paused for a little longer than usual, trying to formulate his question. "aw, did you run out of questions?" you teased him. "no- oh i got one!" he says excitedly. "this is going to be such a cliché question but, never have i ever fallen in love with my bestfriend" jay said with a cheeky smile. "i want to hear your answer first" you say, trying to hide whatever you might spill out of your mouth. "never" he said, this only made your heart ache knowing he doesn't even like you back. "uh-" you paused for a bit making jay raise a brow "what? cat got your tongue?" he said in a playful tone. "well, i have... never..." you say while avoiding eye contact. "are you lying?" he asked as he got closer to your face. "me? lying? why would i be lying about having a crush on..." "crush on?" he asked, prodding into your attempted lie. "you" you say out loud. "you have a crush on me?" jay asked he distanced himself a bit from you. "yeah jongseong, so what? you don't even like me back" you say as you stood up. "i wasn't supposed to tell you until i was ready" you say. "i'm sorry" jay apologized. when you had left, jay wanted to tell you that he really liked you back- but how could he? he said "never" when he actually had a crush on his bestfriend.

jake

jake continued on and on, discussing about the topics you were struggling in physics. you had called him over to tutor you, but when he came to your aid, it appears you had gotten more distracted and jake noticed this as he saw you writing on your journal instead of taking a look at your notes and your textbook. "hey, y/n, are you even listening?" jake said while he snapped his fingers in front of you. "yeah, i am-" you said and quickly looked up from your journal. jake nodded and continued but once he did, your head was in your journal again- eyes glued to whatever you were writing. "okay, clearly you aren't listening, give me that-" he said as he grabbed your journal out of your hands. "i am listening!" you protest, jake was curious on what you were writing so he took a look. "i think i can't focus because of him... why am i even in love with him? wait- you're in love with me?" he asked as he pointed to himself. "stop reading that!" you say as you grabbed your journal out of his hands. your cheeks grew red, and you were quick to grab your textbook to cover your flustered face. you could hear jake giggle and moved the textbook from your face, he kisses your forehead softly and smiles. "well now we got that clarified- shall we continue, y/n?"

sunghoon

"are you free today?" sunghoon asked. "well, i'm not doing anything at the moment so, i guess i'm free today- also are you alright? you sound sad" you say hinting out the tone of his voice. "i just feel tired..." he says. "so uh- do you want to go to the amusement park with me?" he asks. "didn't you say you were tired? you need rest" "please? i just want to unwind with you for a bit" you then said yes later on to his offer. "okay meet you there in twenty minutes" you said as you hung up on the phone so you could get ready. both of you were having fun on the rides and games- not until he pointed to the rollercoaster and practically begged you to go on it. "i-" "pleasee, i'll hold your hand if you're scared" he said with a smile, you couldn't resist this man so both of you went on it. sunghoon knows nothing about your fear of heights so when the ride was about to drop from it's peak you held his hand tightly shouting "i fucking hate rollercoasters- i also wanted you to know i love you a lot, hoon, like a lot lot-!" sunghoon had heard everything and held tight onto your hand. after the ride you both had sat down on a bench. "did you mean what you said?" he asked then faced you, your face growing pinkish. "ah so you heard it... yeah i meant everythi-" you were cut off by his soft lips pressed on yours. "i just wanted you to know i love you too, like a lot, y/n"

sunoo

it was a normal afternoon for you both, sunoo was seated on the couch while you lay down placing your head on his lap, he played with your hair while you played a game on your phone. sunoo brushing your hair with his fingers and at times he'd braid some strands of it too. you were starting to get bored from your game and decided to exit the app to go onto your social media, but sunoo was watching and something on your screen caught his eye. "is that me on your homescreen?" he asked and you were quick to put your phone against your chest. "uh, what?" you asked trying to act clueless. "you used my picture as your wallpaper, you adore that much, don't you?" he said playfully. "ew, who says i have you as my wallpaper?" you asked back while he just scoffed. "i saw it y/n, don't lie~" sunoo said and you sat up from laying down on his lap. "fine" you mumbled out your answer. "do you have a crush on me~?" he asked, more onto the teasing side but you had accidentally spilled your actual answer to him. "haha you bet!" you say with awkward finger guns. "i- uh, need to use the bathroom, be right back!" you say as you quickly headed to the bathroom. sunoo knew what your answer meant, so now he's left there- smiling and giggling on how his best friend likes him back.

jungwon

you had been planning on telling jungwon about how you left through a letter and planned on telling later on the walk back home from school. "y/n" your classmate called before you exited the classroom. "you're a friend of yang jungwon, right?" she asked and you nodded. "could you please give this letter to him? it's regarding the quiz bee thing, i'm one of his teammates" she said as she handed you the folded paper, similar to the love letter (for jungwon) you were holding. "oh okay, i'll give it to him!" you say as you got the letter. "oh thanks, y/n" she said and bid her goodbyes as she left. as you walked beside jungwon back home you remembered the letter from your classmate. "oh jungwon, my classmate said i should give you this letter- its about the quiz bee thing" you said as you stopped walking and looked for it inside your bag. "ugh it's probably another reminder to review" he said as he opened the letter, but then you can see confusion evident in his face. "uh-you give me butterflies every time i see you... uh i don't think this is about the quiz bee-" "what do you mean, let me see?" you say as he shows you the letter. "i- oh my god! i didn't mean to give you that!" you say as you look into your bag again and give the other letter. "here-" "i'll read it when i get home, let me read yours first" he said with a soft smile and intertwined his hands into yours.

ni-ki

"i leave for a minute to use the bathroom and now my phone is missing- riki where the hell did you hide it?" you say, literally flipping all the pillows in your room. "ugh even one of my earbud is missing" you say. "why are you looking at me like that?" riki asks, trying to act clueless. "why are you always hiding my stuff? this isn't even your house!" you say as you walk around your room trying to look for your phone and one of the missing earbud. "please tell me where you hid it" you say as he just laughed and laid down on your bed. "what do i get in return?" he asks playfully. "i'll buy you some bungeoppang" you say, hoping he'll give back what he hid from you. "sounds good! here's your phone now" he says taking it out from under his shirt. "uh, my earbud though?" you say as put your hand out, signaling he give it now. "ah- that's for another deal" he says. "riki just what the fu-" "is jay hyung your boyfriend?" he asked. "no he isn't, where did you get that from?" you asked back. "people were talking about it at school- and i was really offended that you didn't tell your own bff" riki said with (yet again) a playful tone and with a pout. "i don't know why they would say that- because the only guy i'm in love with is you" you impulsively. "you what?" he asked. "i what?" you asked back. "you're in love.... with me?!" riki asks pointing at himself. "you know what- give me back my earbud when i get back, i'll go buy your bungeoppang now- bye!" you ran out the door leaving riki who's a flustered mess now. he then punches the air and you could hear his screams of victory "woo! y/n likes me!" you can hear which makes you more flustered as well.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Yep! Mammon is not perfect, but well, nobody is, so it's fine! We love him as he is 💗💖💗

I like your hc of Mammon reading about human injuries 😍 and probably about first aid as well? Also you explanation about Michael missing brothers as "perfect angels" - I didn't realise it before I had read it here, and now I absolutely agree with you.

(Mild spoilers to S3?) Nearly all of MC's plans in S1 were Mammon ideas. I am very impressed by his abilities and I see it as "his thing". He is full of plans and ideas, and they worked because he knows his brothers very well. It was a bit annoying when in S3 Lord Dia mentioned that the idea to put Luci and Satan into a game belonged to Levi.. really, Levi has a lot of his own achievements, please don't take Mammon's, pretty please 😭

Actually it's a bit upsetting how they ignore Mammon's achievements (not sure if it's a correct word, but oh well..). In S3 Mammon helps MC again in the cafe. He didn't have to, but he agreed because of MC, and his idea was good and it could work. Nonetheless Simeon calls him useless and tells his brothers that cafe's problem is a Mammon's fault (which is absurd and I see Simeon in a different light since then).

***

My MC.. her name is Lira and she is more or less self-insert 😅 She is a wildlife carer, absolutely crazy about birds, loves bats and other animals as well. Mammon's crows are her best friends, and she is mesmerised by his bat wings (ahh I should send you a video of baby flying-fox I raised last year, she was amazing! and her wings were so soft 💗💗💗).

Lira left her family in her home country to go study abroad, so she used to live without them.

She is a "big sister" type, calm, confident, caring and trying to help everyone. Always has some snacks with her in case Beel is hungry, always have some cash in case Mammon doesn't have money for his lunch (like in his homescreen text)), willing to help Luci with his papers, or make him some coffee etc (well, I think it's just a regular MC from the game???). Makes Mammon a bath or makes him breakfast, this sort of things, never says things which may hurt him (I hate some of the game chats because my MC would never tell things like "do you have any good qualities?" even as a joke 😭😭😭). Very protective of animals, kids, Mammon and any others who she has taken under her wing. Extremely loyal to Mammon as her friend and especially as her partner (later). If Luci hangs him again and forbids to take him down, she will just stay there with him damn be any plans, work or lessons.

As soon as she realised that Mammon is bringing her luck in money, she started to plan how to use it to earn more, to save and invest, so they could get rid of Mammon's debts and get a passive income enough to prevent him from making new debts. Would do anything to free Mammon from witches (at least those who are his debt collectors).

Absolutely oblivious when somebody is flirting with her. Thinks they are just being kind or polite. Very surprised to find out about Mammon's feelings, thinks it's just a platonic affection towards "older sister". Determined to keep relationships with Mammon on friendship level as she is too scared to lose him. Not very successful in it after all 😅.

Loves spontaneous events and trips. "Why not??" is our motto).

***

I love your fics, I have read several of them, and they are beautiful. My favorute so far is about bird!Mammon, it feels so genuine and it's sooo about HIM, like, about his personality, idk how to explain. But it is beautiful.

And I am very glad you mention your fics and give links, it's much easier to find them this way!!! thank you!

Yes we do!💕💕

Thank you! I have such clear ideas of what Michael and Raphael will be like built purely from the little snippets of information that OM! has given us and I have such a clear idea of what they look like that even though I'm excited for them to show up it's gonna hurt watching all those existing ideas be smashed🥲

Yes! I was wondering if I remembered it wrong in S3 cause I was sure the game thing in s1 was Mammon's idea? Is it bad that I'm liking the depth they're giving Simeon? Instead of being the pure sweet angel he's got a more cunning/shrewd side and I'm all for it:

1. Stealing and lying to Michael

2. The passive aggressive way he spoke to Diavolo in S2

3. Whatever he did to get demoted

4. The brothers in S3 clarifying that it's not that Simeon is more easy going than the other Seraphim it's just that they're way too intense

5. The way he was such a hardass during the play

Just, Simeon's got secrets and I desperately wanna find out more about them and him

Do you have any pictures or picrews of her?🤩

Yesss pls!! Send me pics of her! I've always wanted to pursue something related to animals and being a wildlife carer was on top of my list but unfortunately there aren't much options for it here and I had to change directions (though I do plan on moving in a couple years to a place where it is possible so fingers crossed?)

She sounds so cool, I'm an absolute mess of a person irl (Whenever I'm writing Mammon, I always draw from some of my own characteristics and responses cause I relate with him way more than I do with MC) so having a big sister friend or mom friend is the best thing ever? Yeah general MC also keeps food for Beel on them and makes lucifer coffee, and let's Mammon borrow money! Right!? That good qualities thing pissed me off so much (and did I write a whole 6k hurt/comfort fic based off that one chat? Yes.*) and at least MC in the main storyline can always be nice to Mammon

Yes!! We definitely need more people to be protective of him and whenever someone mentions that their MC uses the money they gain from Mammon's love to free him from his debt my heart just💝💖💗💓💞💕💟❣❤🧡💛💚💙💙💜🤎🖤🤍

Mammon is just so open about his love for MC, despite how hard he tries to hide it, so imagining exactly how oblivious Lira must be to not get it is hilarious??? When does she realise it? What happens during the opportunity to kiss him on S1?

HIII THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!? I had so much fun writing that I almost wished I could make it into a full fic? BUT one of my first prompts for Mammon & MC was about dragon!Mammon and I loved it so much I ended up writing a 10 chapter outline for it so I figured once I start posting that, it would fill the quota for actual monster Mammon... I'm so glad it felt like him cause I worried without dialogue his characterisation wouldn't fit. Thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts on it!

Okay so I'm gonna take that to heart and add the link to my Mammon x unnamed gender-neutral MC 6.4k hurt/comfort fic based around the "Best Qualities" chat:

* Certified Idiots™

Someone had hurt their First Man and they'd walk through hell to make things right.

[luvdsc]

would you mind doing a description of each member of nct dream? you don’t have to cuz that’s lowkey a lot BUT i figured i’d ask since i’m trying to write something and get their personalities right. i really admire your work!! have a nice day, babes!!!

yes, of course, lovebug 💕 I’ll be rewording the analyses from the asks about my ideal type and adding to them, so it might be a bit familiar! I could’ve written more, but I had to stop because I reached max length for each paragraph 😅 I hope these are helpful to you, and thank you so much for liking my work, honey bee!!! 💛 best of luck with your writing, and I hope you have a good day, too! 🌼 also, I’m on mobile and I’m so sorry for all the scrolling! I’ll add a read more when I get on my laptop ✨ edit: the read more has been added :’)

MARK :: oh, where do i start with mister absolutely fully capable? mark is the definition of adorkable. if you look up that word in the dictionary, you’re gonna see his picture pasted right under it. he’s endearing and awkward, and he tries his best in everything and puts his best foot forward, giving 110% in whatever he does. he’s a hard worker and a good boy. he laughs at that’s what she said jokes, and he’s the type of person to think of a funny joke from three days ago and start laughing at the most inappropriate time, like in the middle of standard testing. he’ll say things he thinks are funny, like “five guys hello guys” or that long sentence about possibilities and immediately look to you with those wide doe eyes, seeking a positive reaction from you and hoping you’ll laugh. he’ll try to wink at you randomly sometimes, but he always fails and just ends up blinking, which will make you laugh and call him cute and have him scrunching up his nose because that’s not what he intended to happen and he’ll be really flustered at the compliment. he’s really sweet, and I think taeil called him the most romantic? however, I feel like having a relationship isn’t a high priority for him right now. he seems to have workaholic tendencies, which could frustrate his s/o. he would need to have someone that understands his work and music is the most important to him, and he might unintentionally neglect checking up with his s/o at times. he’s a little shy and introverted, so it might be hard for him to make a first move if you aren’t friends at first. he’ll write dozens upon dozens of songs about you. that’s the way he’ll express his affection because he’s too shy to in the beginning and music is what he’s good at. there will be lots of late nights with him strumming his guitar and you sitting next to him, reading a book or playing a game on your phone, and he’ll call your name and you look up before he nervously starts to play a new song that he’s written for you. and at the end of the song, he’ll glance up at you really quickly before looking back down at his guitar, and you’re going to have to go over to him and take his face into your hands softly and tell him his song was amazing and you love it as much as you love him. and he’ll smile so big as his glasses slide down his nose before he quickly leans up and presses the softest kiss against your mouth to show you his appreciation before he loses courage to do so. sometimes you steal those round rimmed glasses of his and try them on yourself, and mark has to cover his face and look away and wring his hands and he makes those little oi mark noises because you look so cute and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. on the other hand, mark is also very stubborn. it may not look like that, but if you notice the relationship between him and hyuck, hyuck is always the one giving in at the end. mark will absolutely not do something if he doesn’t want to do it. I do think he will go after something if he wants it, but he will hesitate slightly at first. he follows the rules a bit too much. he doesn’t seem to be the most fun person to party with either unless you get him to drink a beer because he’s a lightweight, but that also means you have to take care of him afterwards. also, he said in an interview that he doesn’t like rollercoasters or fast rides, but he enjoys the cotton candy at amusement parks lol but he did go on those rides in the end, but his head was down the entire time rip. mark gets easily embarrassed. it’s like in that video where they read tweets aloud and mark got super embarrassed when jaehyun read this tweet that gushed about his laugh, and mark just curled up into himself and couldn’t lift his head up and awkwardly laughed. he’s adorkable. please tease him and hype him up in this very same way just to get this cute reaction out of him.

RENJUN :: renjun is the one you can call when you have a body to bury and he’ll show up with the shovel. he’ll call you a stupid idiot, but he’ll still show up to help you. he’s the type that would come over at 3 a.m. if there’s a bug in your apartment and squash it for you after much complaining and telling you that he won’t do it. he’s fiercely loyal and caring. he took care of chenle when chenle wasn’t as proficient with korean and made sure he was doing ok and was always ready to translate for him whenever. he puts up a tough, ready to fight front, but he’s a scaredy cat and if you pretend to be a ghost (read: jisung), he’ll be scared shitless. you can see him get scared and hide behind jeno and hug him so hard when the zombie jumped out in one of those save dream interactive videos. he’s the person you can banter with and he understands dry humor and sarcasm, and I think he’s best for e2l story plot lines because of this lmao but he also fits the best friend role well. he will roast anyone with no mercy with just a few words. he’s artistic. he’s super good at art and has shared several of his beautiful digital drawings before. he’s the person to go to when you want to have long, serious talks at 4 in the morning, and as seen through his radio show, he will try his best to give you advice, even if he may not be experienced enough, but he is trying his hardest to help. if you read some of the advice he gives on his radio show, you can get a better sense of who he is as a person. he’s really insightful and puts a lot of effort into giving the best answer he can. also, he really reminds me of a little brother or someone I want to be best friends with because we can roast people together or talk about paranormal stuff. he just seems really fun to mess around with because he gives funny reactions. he gives off that younger sibling vibe where only your big sister can make fun of you, but once she sees someone else doing it, it’s not ok and she’s gonna go after that person for making her lil bro cry. in a relationship, he wants someone he can trust with his thoughts and interests, such as aliens, and while his s/o may not believe in them, he wants them to genuinely listen to him and not just brush it off. however, he will still roast his s/o into oblivion. it’s how he shows his affection lol. he’ll call you an idiot and cute all in the same sentence. but he’s really a soft and sensitive boy underneath his snappy, sarcastic exterior. he cried when they won first place for the first time. i’m sure he cried when ridin’ reached number one on the charts. he’s attentive and likes affection even though he tries to say he doesn’t. in that one weekly idol dreamie episode, hyuck listed who hated affection, and he wasn’t one of them. he’s a good boy, and underneath all his snarky comments, he wants to be loved and cared for. you can see how he got a lil huffy when jisung chose chenle as his favorite hyung lol he doesn’t express his feelings outwardly as much, but if you’re his s/o, he will quietly adore you in his own way while outwardly being that one snarky couple who banters all the time. he’ll draw pictures of you, secretly have you as his homescreen, or have a secret photo album on his phone of just pictures of you. he’ll complain if you get him a couple item, like a bracelet, but he’ll wear it 24/7 and refuse to give it back to you. he will absolutely lose his shit if he misplaces it. he’ll cook for you if you ask, but he’ll make a big show about fake complaining about it beforehand. I think he’s okay with hand holding and kisses here and there, but he won’t do grand gestures of pda because he thinks those should be more private and between the two of you. he thinks pet names are sappy as heck, and he’ll get terribly embarrassed if you call him one but he’d be like “that’s so gross and corny... but call me that again.” honestly, just tell him ily and his cheeks will turn so red and he’ll bury his face in his hands but he’ll say it back in the quietest voice and he truly does mean it with his whole chest.

JENO :: jeno is someone who fits in so many roles. his character is versatile in a sense. you can make him into a bad boy, the boy next door, your best friend, anybody. his humor is underrated, and he makes funny puns. he’s good at sarcasm and wit, like when he asked jisung if he thought jaemin’s iq was single digits or when the instructor complimented him and said his rap sounded like mark and he was like “oh.... that’s not good.” he worries about being funny. he mentioned losing sleep over it in weekly idol, so please tell him he’s funny and laugh at his jokes ): he really is funny, and i love his humor. jeno is really smart. he managed to rank 4th or something I believe in his school after cram studying the day before. he’s really self-assured and confident in himself, but he doesn’t show off or act cocky, yet you can sense the quiet confidence in him. he’s humble and works hard and deserves more credit than he’s given. he possesses leadership qualities and is a source of strength for other members. i think they said he was one of the cleaner members and when he’s drunk, he cleans LMAO he is into sports and gymming, especially biking. hyuck said that jeno’s bedroom has his and jaemin’s bikes hanging on the walls lol he also is really competitive, but not a sore loser type. jeno doesn’t strike me as the type who needs his s/o around 24/7 and prefers to have hobbies and space separate from his s/o. he’s laid back, but at the same time, still energetic and fun to be around. he’s still weird, but not over the top weird. jeno is insightful and kind, and he has stated that he’s very shy and timid before. doyoung likes him the most because he’s kind and respectful and takes into account other people’s feelings and listens well. he’s a good boy. he’s also really playful and teasing and plays well with others, like jisung jokes around with him all the time. I feel like jisung jokes around with him the most out of all his hyungs aside from chenle because jeno doesn’t get mad. i believe the members say he’s the only one aside from chenle who doesn’t get mad when someone messes up in dance practices. he cries when he gets angry. jeno is also really affectionate. he enjoys cuddling and holding hands and back hugs and whatnot, but he doesn’t overdo it. it takes a long time for him to trust and open up to someone, and you’re a very lucky person if he lets you see this side of him. he won’t force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If something is bothering you, he won’t pry at first if you refuse to talk about it, but I do think he will eventually make you talk if he feels something is terribly wrong or if it’s affecting the relationship. jeno is driven and knows what he wants. he’ll give you space, but if you’re not what he’s looking for or if you don’t put the effort in as well and won’t open up to him, I do think he will move on. he might bottle up his emotions at first, but as the relationship progresses, he’ll be fully open to you and tell you everything. I don’t think he’ll be terribly affected if he’s rejected because he is confident in himself and able to brush it off. he knows his self-worth. oh, and he loves animals. obviously, jeno loves his cats because he has them even when he’s allergic. he’s the type of s/o who, if you mention you’re walking back to your dorm late at night after staying in the art building to finish your painting, he’ll show up with messy hair and his glasses in his sweats with a hoodie thrown on haphazardly and walk you back safely even without you asking. kiss him on his nose at random times just because you love him, and he’ll make that jeno trademark noise of confusion before giving you the prettiest eye smile that makes the moon dim in shame and nuzzling his face into your shoulder shyly. call him jeno darling or jeno love if you want to see the same reaction as before. it’s gonna be a total KO to his heart if you call him that and boop him on the nose with the softest kiss. anyway, jeno is the bestest boy in the entire universe, and give him all your love, please and thank you.

HAECHAN :: hyuck is so fucking talented. he’s good at everything: singing, dancing, rapping, variety shows, you name it. he was born to be an idol. he’s the golden one and excels at everything. he’s an ace, and he knows it. yeah, he’s cocky and brags about everything he does, but he actually has evidence and proof to back it up. plus, no one can stay mad at him for very long because have you seen how cute he is?? he’s a brat, but you still love him anyway. he’s good at sweet talking and getting what he wants. he plays a push and pull game, and you end up falling for him in the end. i know in fics on here, you often see jaemin in the playboy/fuckboy persona, but I think hyuck absolutely exudes this persona. he is able to read the room or a person and knows the exact way to act in order to get the reaction he wants. it’s hyuck’s world, and we’re all just living in it. he can have all of us eating out of the palm of his hand if he desires. i think he truly embodies the traits of a slytherin: ambitious and cunning. it’s every man for himself, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he believes he deserves and plays by his own rules. hyuck is so smart and intelligent, both in terms of brains and emotion. he’s absolutely brilliant, and he’s the type of person to ace an exam without even studying for it. I think he did very well in school, and he also beat doyoung in mental maths when they had a competition on weekly idol lol and he’s also street smart. there’s a reason why doyoung and taeil are scared of him and why they prefer to be on his team than against him lmao. I think hyuck is also a people pleaser though. he wants to be liked, and it’ll drive him crazy if someone calls him boring or shows no interest towards him. I think he’ll want a s/o who plays the push and pull game with him. he’ll playfully tease them a lot, and they’ll have to be interesting and able to dazzle him with their own wit and sarcasm. he, like renjun, is snarky and sarcastic. he likes to make people laugh and enjoys being the center of attention. he is super affectionate and rivals jaemin in this aspect. he thrives off of physical touches, hugs, cuddles, etc. he likes to cuddle when he sleeps, and I feel like he enjoys being the little spoon. he isn’t afraid of pda and will show off his s/o to the world with a loud kiss or back hug anywhere. he’s the type who would do that back pocket spin peter does to lara jean lmao. the two of you can laze around at home, while he plays video games on his computer and you can sit in his lap and he’ll do that thing where his arms are around you and his chin is on your shoulder. he’s a good cook, and he’ll cook for you, but he expects you to pay him back in kisses. his s/o might think he doesn’t pay attention to what they’re saying to him, but he does. he absolutely adores his s/o and remembers everything about them. he’s the type to surprise his s/o with their favorite flowers on a random day, and his s/o would’ve thought he wasn’t paying attention when they told him their favorite flower months ago. and please, please, please surprise him with flowers too because that will catch him off guard and you’ll see him blush and get flustered for once. it’s like when the dreamies first debuted, and chenle said hyuck was the best singer and he wanted to be like hyuck, and hyuck got really quiet and shy and flustered about it. however, he’d get really shy around his crush if they weren’t friends first. there’s that video of him returning something that twice’s mono dropped I think and he was so nervous before and afterwards. or there’s that time when he handed flowers to seungwoo and got so flustered as the dreamies teased him afterwards. also, I feel like sometimes people forget that so much hard work goes into what he does because he makes it look so effortless. hyuck works so hard in everything and puts his all into what he does. anyway, please appreciate hyuck and love him lots. he deserves to be showered in love and affection.

JAEMIN :: jaemin is like jeno in the sense that his character is also super versatile. you can make him fit any type of persona for your fic. jaemin is a sweetheart. his entire existence is love. hyuck said that he treats his members the same way he treats his fans in an episode of weekly idol before. he’s a really affectionate person as seen in the way he showers jisung with affection. he eats, sleeps, and breathes aegyo. you’re going to experience his aegyo a lot if you’re his s/o, so brace yourself. he even managed to make hyuck flustered when he kissed him in that recent reload era game video. he has a lot of love to give out, but he also wants the same amount of love in return. you can see how he craves for love from jisung in return and the way he gets a little upset when he doesn’t get it, like when jisung didn’t call him his favorite hyung. his s/o needs to be okay with being showered with affection and love, and they have to do the same for him. call him cute pet names, give him random kisses throughout the day, back hug him while he’s cooking, he will just absolutely glow and bask in your love. jaemin is good at cooking. he will cook for you, and if you cook, he’ll eat what you make with no complaints. it’s like that meme where person A gives person B a drink with salt in it, and person B drinks it all, and when person A asks why they did that even though it was salty, person B says it’s because they didn’t want to hurt person A’s feelings. jaemin is person B. he’ll also make you model for him and pose literally everywhere so he can take pictures of you because you’re the prettiest person in the entire world to him. he’ll make you his lockscreen, homescreen, hang up pictures of you in his room, all that jazz. he’s the one who buys couple items or outfits and makes you wear them with them. his entire Instagram account will be pictures of you or with you. however, he’s also petty af and nags a lot lmao. he complained to jeno when jisung said he wanted to eat bread at 3 a.m. and how he couldn’t go out to buy him any. he also nagged renjun in one of those dream vs dream videos for not having any questions about him, while all his questions were about renjun. or when he was sulking about jeno not knowing his favorite cartoon character. I believe he mentioned having extreme mood swings too where he’s either too quiet or too loud and out there, and as a s/o, you’d have to cater to both sides of him. jaemin is also an introvert. he’s very quiet and shy around strangers, but he’ll unleash his inner weirdness and loudness when he feels comfortable around you, and you’re in for a wild, fun ride. in that video where he and jeno were making cakes, he seems really hyper and wild. same goes for that video where they went out to eat, and jaemin was pouring soda into a glass dramatically. or when they played that dance game where you have to add onto the dance and copy the previous dances, and he added some random flailing motion and complained when someone did it wrong. or when he and renjun were paired up for that guessing game when they both had headphones on, and he started flailing everywhere and getting kinda frustrated at renjun for getting zero right. he’s a bit weird lmao. as his s/o, i hope you go along with his weird antics and have fun with him too! you also have to remind him to take care of himself. make sure he doesn’t drink that ungodly coffee drink of his or eat too much sugar. take care of him, love him, cherish him, and jaemin will be the best boyfriend ever. he might even set up a whole led light display for you at night declaring his love like he did for jeno. actually, no, he definitely will. he’ll do big grand gestures to show his love for you. he’ll fill your house with roses and press kisses to each of your fingertips with a different reason for why he loves you. he’ll continue to list the reasons for why he loves you for every star he sees until he runs out of stars, but he’ll never run out of reasons for loving you.

CHENLE :: chenle was born to be a star. he is so incredibly talented and picks up skills so quickly. it’s evident because he managed to debut after two months of training and he became fluent in korean quickly. he’s humble and gracious, and he’s the embodiment of that miss universe song: he’s beauty, he’s grace. he doesn’t flaunt his wealth, in fact, it only ever comes up because others bring it up. or he accidentally shows it off when he asks what rent means or when he tries to innocently rectify the situation, like when jaemin was like “oh his parents held a concert for him for his bday” and chenle was like “noooo no it was just to make a memory” on idol room lmao. the way he expresses his love is through gift giving. it shows in the way he told mark he’ll buy him anything he wants for his bday or when he gave apple watches to the 00 liners or when he immediately agreed to buy jeno a plane ticket to china to show him around his home. but he’s not trying to flaunt his wealth. this is simply how he shows his love. chenle is laidback and easygoing. he doesn’t care about jisung using honorifics with him, and he’ll go along with whatever’s happening. there’s that one video during mfal era where hyuck and chenle won the prize and hyuck was like “hey I’ll take the prize ok?” and chenle just immediately agrees and doesn’t care at all. but don’t get me wrong, chenle is super competitive. he wants to win, but it’s more about that feeling you get when you’re the winner, rather than the actual prize for him. he’s really into sports, specifically basketball, so i feel like he’d enjoy it if his s/o expressed some sort of interest in it with him. they don’t have to play basketball with him, but he’d appreciate it greatly if they listened to him talk about stephen curry or cheer him on from the sidelines. he’s affectionate. if you read my renjun description, chenle is the other one that hyuck said doesn’t mind affection from the other members on weekly idol. I don’t see him showing affection blatantly as much like hyuck and jaemin, but I think he loves receiving it. chenle obviously receives so much love from his family and is super close to them. he will love his s/o with his whole heart, and I hope his s/o will love him back just as much. also, I’m pretty sure he’ll love his s/o acting cute because his heart rate spiked up when jisung did aegyo on idol room lmao. I think he’s the only other extrovert in the dreamies, besides hyuck. I believe someone asked jaemin or skz hyunjin if they got close after the collab stage, and they said that they were really awkward with each other. however, skz felix and chenle became good friends! chenle is friendly and a people person. he thrives in social settings, and he’s a social butterfly. he’ll help people out of their shells and make sure to include them in conversations. he’s the type of person who would clear his throat and be like “hey y/n has something to say” if you tried to say something in a group convo and weren’t heard. he’s fine with being the center of attention, but he doesn’t actively seek out that position, like hyuck does. unlike hyuck, he’s not a people pleaser. I think he’s confident in himself, and he’s self assured and satisfied with who he is, so he doesn’t really care what others think of him. chenle is really playful. he likes to tease the other members and wreak harmless havoc lol you can see how he plays around with the other members, like in nct life where he just throws snow at jisung or scares jisung with a rubber chicken when they went to an amusement park in shanghai. he’s a thrill seeker. he loves roller coasters, shooting games, laser tag, etc. he gets excited over the littlest things, and he’s a naturally cheerful person who lights up the room and just naturally has people gravitate towards him. however, he has his serious moments too, and I can see him sitting next to his s/o behind the piano and playing something for them. but then, he’ll probably ruin the soft moment by slamming his hands down on the keys and scaring them at the end.

JISUNG :: jisung reminds me of high school puppy love. he’s curious about the world and introspective. he asked the fans to send him pictures of the moon because he couldn’t see it himself. I think he has a lot of deep thoughts and keeps them to himself because he’s introverted and nervous about sharing them aloud in case he’s not taken seriously as the youngest. he’s inquisitive and sweet, and he’s the culmination of everything good in the universe. he’s the one whom renjun talks to about aliens and paranormal things, and I believe he’ll want a s/o who will take him seriously on these things and listens to his concerns without teasing or making fun of him for believing in them. jisung is shy and gets embarrassed when he’s given compliments. there’s this video where the dreamies read compliments from fans aloud, and you can see how flustered and shy he gets as he ducks his head, has to pause and cover his face before playing with his hair as he reads through the compliments with the biggest smile peeking on his face. I think this is the cutest thing ever, and at the beginning of the relationship, if his s/o compliments him or does something cute, he’s going to react exactly like that. tell him his dancing is amazing, watch his fancams around him, tell him his face is nice to look at, etc. and you’ll see him get reduced to a flustered, blushing mess. the first time he sees you wearing one of his sweaters with the sleeves covering your hands and giving you sweater paws, he will combust and stutter and not be able to look at you as his cheeks turn red. he might just suffer a heart attack if you decide to casually call him a cute pet name one day. additionally, jisung is at that age where he wants to know what others think of him and he wants to be liked. I think this is the reason why he’s more hesitant about speaking up or voicing himself in an unfamiliar environment because he doesn’t want to give off a negative image. he’s also painfully shy, but he wants to make friends, which he explains on dancing high. because of this, he truly cherishes any friendship or relationship he has because it’s seen as something incredibly special to him. as his s/o, you’re gonna mean the world to him and he will value your opinion greatly. once he’s comfortable around you, he’ll be loud and talkative. jeno says that jisung talks the most at the dorm and he’s never quiet. jisung is also a lil shit lol, and he knows how to get out of things, like cleaning up after dinner by locking himself in the bathroom. he’s also a little lazy and probably not the cleanest tbh. he sleeps in jaemin’s bed or in the living room because he’s too lazy to go to his top bunk. he doesn’t listen to his hyungs and talks down to them in a playful way because he knows they’re whipped for him lmao. when the relationship progresses, jisung is going to act in the same, exact way with you. he’s a savage, and he will roast you in the same way he roasts his hyungs, like when hyuck wanted to go to LA with him for why not the dancer and he was like “you have to be good at dancing to go” (which btw, fight me, jisung, hyuck is literally the best dancer). he’ll tease you, hide items on the tallest shelf just so that you’ll call him for help, and smush your cheeks and call you cute. he’ll ruffle your hair and run up behind you and sweep you off your feet princess style just to scare you before carefully placing you back down or tossing you into the pool lol he may have complained about carrying renjun in that reload era game video, but he’ll give you piggy backs when you’re tired or carry you around if you asked. he likes playing video games and those block breaker game apps and when he loses, he’ll sit there and pout without realizing it. he does that little nose scrunch unknowingly, and it’s the cutest. he’ll like dates at home the best. he sucks at cooking, but he’ll try to do it for you. but it’ll end up with you cooking while he back hugs you, and you have to walk around the kitchen with him being a koala attached to you as you feed him bits of the food being made.

[taejeonie]

that punch, 날리고 🥊

— aka a markhee vlive scenario where they’re dating YAYY

*english is italicized but if they’re speaking in korean it’s not (including the comments)

“guys guys guys guys”

“HELLO EVERYONEEEE”

“G U Y S”

“GUYS”

markhee, harmonizing: “GuUuUuUYSSS!”

okay who gave them sugar

anyways

they’re both sweating bc they just finished practicing

we stan hard working legends amarite

mark was wearing his cap backwards but taehee flicked the back so it falls off his head :p

he sighs at her in disbelief, while smiling ofc, and places his cap back on his head

then taehee brings her face closer to the phone to read the comments

markswatermelons MY BABIES 🥺🥺🥺

taeyongcutiepie did you guys just finish practicing?

ncitygottagogetem PUNCH WAS SOOO GOOD!!

“did you guys enjoy punch?,” she asks

“we just finished practicing for a bit. everyone left already but taehee wanted to do vlive so i waited for her”

hyucksunshine you guys are soulmates

“actually, we filmed on weekly idol yesterday and we had a lot of fun,,,so please look forward to it!!!”

mark laughed bc he found the way she said it cute ;((

“ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᶠᵒʳʷᵃʳᵈ ᵗᵒ ⁱᵗ﹗﹗,” he copied her

taehee brings her phone out and puts her playlist on shuffle

happiness by roc plays first, “ahh i like this”

she pretended she was holding a mic while singing the lyrics in a quiet tone

meanwhile mark was talking about the photoshoot their maknae line had for star1

they looked so good in it PLEASE

“i’ll be the one,,,who stays til the end,,,,”

“honestly, the ambience helped us a lot get into the photoshoot. it was like warm and had like,,,an outdoor kind of feeling”

“and i’ll be the one that proposes,,in a garden of roses...”

taehee leans into mark’s shoulder while singing it’s free estate guys and he immediately puts his arm around her shoulders, still talking about the photoshoot

neoblink MARKHEEEE 💚💚

taeilsbutterfly i saw the behind the scenes!! mark and taehee kept dancing to ridin, it was so cute :>

“cause i am the one!! who waited this looong!! i am the one,,who might get it wrong”

at this point, mark finished talking about the shoot and is currently reading the comments

“and i'll be the one that will love you the way i'm supposed to”

taehee tilts mark’s head to face her while she sang the lyrics

and he had to hold himself back from kissing her right then and there

markswatermelons DID HE JUST LOOK AT HER LIPS

johfam i wouldn’t be surprised if they’re dating

jaeminanana they should just admit it already!!

mark realized what he was doing and pushed her away gently

but taehee and her dramatic ass pretended he pushed her really hard and fell on the floor

“OWWW”

“I DIDN’T EVEN PUSH YOU THAT HARD?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

you hear taehee giggle before popping back into the frame and saying, “just kidding!!! hihi (*^▽^*)”

“ahh you and haechan are the same, really”

“hmm,” she pouts, “but i’m your-“

pause!!! since she was about to say GIRLFRIEND

“-favorite”

mark tried to hold in his laugh since she knows she was about to slip up

but she didn’t!! hehe

when it comes to the instrumental part, taehee pulls mark to stand up so they can dance

they’re hiphop dancers but u know how like

old people dance

yeah that’s exactly what they’re doing

still cute tho,,,,

markheeyipee they’re just friends guys

taehyucktion taehee’s really affectionate with the members, just like haechan!!

taeheelovely taehee!! what’s your lockscreen?

“what’s my lockscreen? guess :>>”

mark takes a peek at her lockscreen and starts laughing, “what is that??? when did you take this haha”

chenlerap a funny picture of haechan???

jaehyunsdimple probably jisung? since he said he sent her a funny picture a few days ago...

markheepizza MARK!!!

after that one ‘mark’ comment,,everyone started saying it WAS mark

“CORRECT!!! it’s mark!! but for his sake, i won’t show it to you guys (*´꒳`*)”

it was a picture of mark in white tee, messy hair, kissable lips like u know that video of mark holding a sb drink and there was a fan in his shirt?? mm yes very boyfriend material

taehee takes a look at her lockscreen again, “hmm but you look handsome in it though?? i guess it won’t hurt to show- HEY”

mark grabbed her phone and placed it in his pocket

taehee ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek and was tempted to reach for it

but he raised his brow at her as if to say “what? are you gonna get it?”

i live for cocky and confident mark lee

so taehee just shakes her head at him and faces the camera

“these days mark LOVES to take my phone,,he isn’t even going to use it he just takes it and keeps it there”

in reality mark just wants her to pay attention to him more in the dorms awww

“ah my homescreen? secreeeet (*´ω｀*)”

it was a picture of them sleeping in the backseat

taehee’s head was buried in mark’s neck, his head laid on top of hers while his arm was wrapped her shoulders

no one noticed except hyuck, so he took a pic of them

(〃ω〃)

ANYWAYSSS

“oh i remember we have drinks”

she goes off screen while mark watches her

“do you want me to get yours?,” he nods

“sLUSHIEEE”

“mark’s is red and mine’s blue- what is that? watermelon?”

“i thought it was,,but it was strawberry. you wanna taste?”

she takes a sip from his straw and glances at him, “it’s good!! you wanna taste mine?”

later into the vlive you would notice that they switched drinks already

they spent the next few moments reading comments from czennies 

chenlescars netflix recommendation? pwarkjisung what songs do you listen to these days? neogotmyback TAEHEE I LOVE YOUR HAIR

“’taehee i love your hair’”

“oh thank you!! i wanted to dye it blue for quite some time and the hyungs- oppas told me i should go for it hihi”

mark giggleD as he pointed at the screen

“what is it?”

jeon_jieun taehee, my baby!!! you look so grown up now!! 💚💚💚

“AA MOM!! (o-_-o)”

“HAHAHA YOU’RE SO CUTE”

“hi mom ;<< have you eaten?”

jeon_jieun yes :))))

“AHAHHAHAH SHE ANSWERED”

“mark and i will eat at the dorms if you’re wondering. we just finished practicing so we’ll eat right away”

“teehee’s mom, hello!!” 

mark lee is the type of boy your mom would want you to marry 

and maybe teehee’s mom would too jdbjksb

“actually, the only members who met my mom, like in-person, were you, haechan, doyoung-oppa, and taeyong-oppa”

“really?”

“yeah,,,the rest were through video call”

“ahh”

“she’s really fond of you,,”

“oh really?”

“haechan too”

“oh”

“HAHA WHY IS YOUR REACTION LIKE THAT?”

“LIKE WHAT?”

markjohnjae the way mark’s face went from ☺️ to 😐

“don’t worry, if you come home with me next time, you could take haechan’s spot as her favorite”

“mom, please look forward to it! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞”

markheearchive DID MARK JUST CALL TAEHEE’S MOM “MOM” OMG THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED  hyucksolo MARKHEE ENDGAME

mark’s solo was the next song to play on her playlist

“ah this is my favorite song,” taehee said as she bopped her head to ‘talk about’, making mark laugh

she rapped the lyrics effortlessly and you could clearly see the heart eyes on mark’s face

until she imitated how mark growled during that one part of his rap

“this that MuRDER from the tongue-“

“OH WHAT DUDE DO I SOUND LIKE THAT?”

“HAHAHAHA”

“I DONT DO IT LIKE THAT!!”

“NOOOO, DUDE NO I SWEAR I WATCHED YOUR FANCAMS AND YOU DO SOUND LIKE THAT!!”

taehee chuckles at mark’s shy face, “okay, then show me”

“like right now” “mhmm”

...

“it’s the MuRDER from the tongue,,”

“it sounds the same!!”

“no it isn’t,,”

“oh what? yours is like,,sexier? is that what you want me to say?”

mark stares at her fondly for a moment before telling her, “i didn’t say thaaat”

“you like it either way ;))”

neodream07 do you watch ridin club?

“ridin club? what’s ridin club”

“it’s like the variety show of the kids”

“oHHHH”

“see? this is why they like me more than mark”

“pft”

“jaemin kissed haechan, right? jeno did too, almost”

mark laughed, “really??”

“yeah, aaa that kid. one day, he’s gonna do it for real and regret it.”

“but he already did?”

“what? when?”

“when we were filming the music video for ‘go’,,,your lips touched haha,,right?”

taehee (　˙-˙　)

“oh yeah right- i remember now”

her disgusted face while saying that made mark laugh

later on, mark felt taehee’s phone vibrate in his pocket so he brought it out and gave it to her

“haechanie texted me,,he said we should go back to the dorms- *laughs* he wants to play games already”

“what time is it?,” mark yawned

“it’s 11:57,,” she bit her lip and looked at mark

he does look like he’s about to sleep already

and he stayed with taehee so she won’t go live and go home on her own

(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾ i want a mark

“guys, we’re gonna have to wrap up now,,sorry for making the vlive so short :((((“

it’s been an hour taehee wym so short :<<

markhee stans are well fed

taeheebubs awww

markhyucktingles it’s okay bb!! get some rest <33

doyoungbunny get home safely!! and stay healthy!!

“you guys stay safe!! we’ll see each other soon,” mark waved

“goodnight guys!! or goodmorning- wherever you are. enjoy the rest of your day!! byeeee”

taehee turns off the vlive and stretches a bit while mark leans back to lay on the floor

she stands up and grabs her and mark’s bags after throwing their drinks in the trash bin

“come on, let’s go home :>>”

mark grabs her hand as he stood up, gets his backpack from her, and slings it around his shoulders

gently, he pulls taehee towards him and places a short kiss on her lips

she holds back a smile, “why so suddenly?”

“i wanted to do it earlier but i couldn’t”

their voices sound so small even if they’re the only ones in the practice room at that moment

it’s the butterflies,,,(//∇//)

she smiles and cups his face to bring him in for a longer kiss

mark smiles as he felt her deepen the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer

short, sweet kisses soon turned into hot, opened-mouth ones and taehee’s got her hands in mark’s hair, making a small sound come out of him

taehee’s phone rings once again, making her pull away from mark before giving him one last peck on the lips

mark lee best kisser i think

mark intertwines their hands together as she accepted the call,,,led her out of the practice room and to the elevator

“noona, why are you laughing? it’s so late, are you still there?”

“we’re about to get off the elevator, don’t worry”

“the live ended a few minutes agooo. what took you so loooong”

taehee senses the pout in hyuck’s voice and chuckles at him, “secret. we’ll play games later, byeee”

“secret...? sECRET-“

beep

“you ended the call just like that?,” mark laughs at her

taehee shrugs in response

later when they’re at home and in their taehee’s bed, they head off to sleep after taehee played rounds with hyuck and johnny

as taehee’s head laid snug on mark’s chest, his arms wrapped around her frame to keep her close, mark thought nothing could get as cozy as this moment.

[oliveofthenight]

Heartbroken Strangers

“Oh, come on, just shoot the stupid zombies already!”

Nobu and Mara laughed as Aaliyah struggled with the plastic gun in her hands, aiming it at the zombies that flooded her screen. “What did you say about this game earlier? Something about it being super easy to beat?” Mara questioned, a teasing grin on her face that only grew as her friend whined.

“I can take the teasing from Nobu, but not you, too! At least one of you has to- no!” She hunched over in defeat as the last of the zombies killed her and the game ended. Half-heartedly, she dumped the prop back in its holster, letting out a huff. “I only lost because you two were heckling me! That’s the only reason!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Ally.” Nobu shrugged with a smirk, chuckling as she stuck her tongue out at him. “So, what game are we playing next? I haven’t tried the basketball hoops in a while.”

Mara nodded absentmindedly at the suggestion, while the girl next to her frowned, though there was still a playful glint in her eyes. “Hey, you’ve met your quota of teasing me for the day. You know playing the basketball game is just an excuse to make fun of my height.” Then, she turned to Mara. “What about you, Mar-Mar? Anything catching your eye?”

She looked around, before pointing at one game in particular. “Well, the Mario-Kart one looks fun. And hey, I’m rusty, so you might have some chance at beating me.” She mused, nudging her friend in the ribs.

Aaliyah brightened up immediately. “Yes, I’ve been practicing at that one, actually. You’re both going down!” She took ahold of both of their hands, getting ready to take on the crowd with them, when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Stopping briefly to take it out and read it, her happy expression turned into annoyance. Grumbling, she shoved her phone back into her pocket before looking up at her friends. “I’ve gotta go. You know that big dinner I was telling you about? To celebrate Uncle Harry getting engaged and all? Yeah, I was hoping I could just avoid it by spending time with you both, but I got caught in the act. Mom wants me back to help finish cleaning the house. But it was nice spending time with my two favorite people for a few hours.” She smiled at them.

“It’s been fun, and I’m sure I can bust you out of your house another time,” Nobu chuckled as he started walking beside Aaliyah.

Mara settled in on the other side of her. “I know I can, your family has a soft spot for me after all,” She joked, causing Aaliyah to roll her eyes with a light grin.

“That’s because you’re too lovable not to make them soft, Mar-Mar.”

“Says the one who’s clearly more lovable than me.”

“Liar!”

“Am not! You’re short, happy and adorable, you couldn’t be more lovable if you tried!”

“I’ve gotta say, I’m with Mara on this one,” Nobu cut in, grinning as Aaliyah laughed.

She pointed an accusatory finger at both of them. “You two are evil in your double teaming. It was a mistake to bring your two forces together today.”

The guilty party gave each other a look before Nobu spoke again. “Well, it’s too late now. We’ve formed an alliance against you, there’s nothing you can do about it.” Leaning forward, he poked her forehead before shoving his hands in his pockets. “Now get going before your parents decide to chew you out for being late.”

She groaned in response. “Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right. You’re lucky I love you two, I would have died ages ago if I didn’t.” She wrapped each of them into a hug one at a time and both were returned just as tight. She waved one last time and hopped into her car, leaving the pair stranded awkwardly.

“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Mara stated.

“Yeah, you too…” The two stood silent for a moment, before turning to head their own way home.

Though Mara was more than a little surprised to see Nobu still by her side. “You take the subway home too, huh?”

He nodded stiffly. “I take the green line, you?”

She blinked in surprise. “Oh uh, me too actually. Are you getting off at Sue Street?”

“Yeah,” he responded. “Dang, I wonder how many times we’ve walked past each other?”

More attempts at conversation were made, about the weather, their time at the arcade, but all ended in brief and dry answers; before silence became the more favorable alternative. Though walking side by side, they looked to be more strangers than anything else.

The ride on the train was filled with more awkward silence as the two sat next to each other, faces illuminated by the screens of their phones. One pair of eyes would occasionally drift upwards, looking at the one next to them, before dropping their eyes once again. This little game continued to be played, sneakily avoiding the other one’s stare until Nobu’s phone buzzed. Mara’s eyes shifted over to his phone, he was on the messages screen. Nothing was out of the ordinary, until she saw one of his contacts. It had Aaliyah’s nickname, though beside it was also a heart. Her brows furrowed before the screen quickly faded to black.

She looked up at Nobu, who sighed and rubbed his eyes. “There’s a good explanation for that heart,” he defended, but the heaviness in his voice didn’t sound convincing.

Sitting up a little more, she turned to face him. “There always is. Admittedly, I’m not much better at hiding it.”

“Look, just because,” he started off on his ramble until he fully processed her words. “Hold on a second, you too?”

Mara looked away, hesitating before showing him the background of her home screen. Though much of the picture was covered by apps, it was a picture of Aaliyah, grinning widely with a twinkle in her eyes, a bunch of little hearts surrounding her. “She thinks it’s because we’re friends that I have this as my homescreen. Which is true, though my feelings run uh, deeper than that…” She mumbled, hurriedly turning her own phone off as nervous laughter started bubbling in her throat. “I don’t know why I’m showing you this, I literally just met you today. Oh god, please don’t tell her. I’m already trying my best to get over it-”

“Hey, take a breath. It’s fine. It wouldn’t be my place to tell her anyway.” He nudged her shoulder gently, knocking her out of her nervous state. There was a brief pause as the two listened to the train running along the rails before Nobu spoke again. “It’s been around six months for me, what about you?”

Another laugh made its way out, bittersweet in its sound. “Four years.”

The answer drew a low whistle from the boy. “That is a long time. How have you managed to keep it in for so long,” he asked, before quickly throwing in, “if you want to say.”

“It’s fine, it actually feels kind of good to talk about this,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “I guess fear mostly. Ally knows I’m bi, and she doesn’t judge me or treat me any different for it. But, if I told her anything of what I felt, it’d probably all change. It’s not exactly my first time having a crush on a straight girl, telling only makes things worse. It doesn’t make it much easier to keep it all in, especially when she’s my best friend. But between the two of us, you have more of a chance than I do,” she finished, playing with the hem of her sleeve.

Nobu’s face shifted into a frown. “That doesn’t mean that doesn’t suck though. I’m sorry you have to go through that.” He offered a comforting half smile that made the ends of Mara’s mouth tug upwards.

“I’m fine, really. If being friends is all I’ll ever get, then I’ll take it. I’m just glad she’s with me, even if she’ll never be able to return my feelings,” she explained, the heavy weight in her chest lifting a little just hearing herself say the words.

He nodded, looking up at the white ceiling above them. It was a good way of thinking about it. He wasn’t sure he’d even know what to do in her situation.

He snapped back to the present when he heard her question. 

“When did you know? That you fell for her, I mean.” Mara looked at him as he went deep into thought.

There were so many times he had fallen, he wasn’t sure if he could pick one. “I think… It started when she first met my moms. She just fit in so well with them, there was never an awkward pause or anything, just laughter. Then, mom sent me to the kitchen to get tea she had just made and when I came back into the room, I just got hit by this feeling. Seeing my moms teasing Aaliyah, everything felt right. Everything clicked into place like that’s how it should have always been.” He could still remember the way Aaliyah looked at him, mid laugh and her eyes shining brightly, time had slowed down in that moment. He looked over at Mara. “What about you?”

The same thoughtful look came across her face as she searched for the moment. “It was after I had a rough few weeks around freshmen year. She was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn’t really working and suddenly she just pulled me into a hug. She told me that everything was going to be okay, and that she was there for me and wasn’t ever going to leave me behind... and that struck something in me. The feeling hasn’t left since,” she admitted, catching a small smile on Nobu’s face out of the corner of her eye.

He leaned back in his chair, thumb absentmindedly running over the case of his phone. “I guess we both have some pretty good reasons to fall for her,” he stated, closing his eyes momentarily until he heard the brakes of the train screeching to a halt and the robotic voice of the monorator calling out Sue Street.

They stood up, making their way off the car and out of the subway. Their conversation continued as they walked, swapping small stories. Nobu was laughing as they reached the top of the stairs. “You can’t be serious,” he proclaimed.

“Oh, I’m one hundred percent serious. Half of Ally’s face was dyed red for an entire week, all because she didn’t want to go to school.” Mara grinned, shaking her head as she remembered it. “And guess who managed to sneak in through her window to hang out with her after she got grounded for it?”

His jaw dropped. “I’ve seen pictures of her old house though! Her bedroom was on the third floor. You’re pulling my leg, there’s no way you could do that.” He crossed his arms to further emphasise his statement.

She smirked at his disbelief. “Don’t believe me? Ask Ally yourself then. She’d call me a ninja every time I snuck in.” There was a wave of uncertainty that flashed across his face which she couldn’t help but chuckle at before she looked at her phone. It was already six forty-five. “It’s getting late and I promised dad I would get dinner started. But, I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

“That you will. I’ll see you later ninja girl,” Nobu said with amusement flickering in his dark eyes.

Mara rolled her eyes with a grin. “If I’m a ninja girl, I’ll be seeing you first,” she called out, waving as she began walking away. He laughed at her response, waving back until she disappeared from sight.

It was a strange thing to bond over, to have fallen for the same girl.

But, it was a start.

[lifblogs]

Title: Just For a Moment

Summary: Anne struggles to get through the day; with her eating disorders, her depression, her post-traumatic stress, and her personality disorder trying to hold her down.

Word Count: 1870

A/N: I would love, love, love to put a keep reading, but my laptop is a useless creation of science, so that won’t be possible. Just going to tag it as #long post.

WARNINGS: eating disorder mentions, self-harm mentions, minor self-harm, suicidal thoughts, violent thoughts, violent urges, implied miscarriage, unhealthy behavior

oOoOo

Anne has the urge to swear when she hears her alarm go off, but she’s too tired for her lips to move. She rolls over, the warmth and fur of her cat resting against her head. He grunts in protest and whacks her with his tail. Reaching around, Anne finally finds her phone, and taps mindlessly at the screen till the alarm stops.

She drops the phone on the floor.

Finally.

Now her cat is up. His name is Loki, but she’s taken to calling him Little Prince — it’s what he responds to at dinner time. Little Prince is pacing in circles about the pillow he’s claimed, legs and feet carelessly bumping into Anne’s head. He meows, voice a yell.

“Hi, Little Prince,” Anne mutters, though she doesn’t want to take the energy to get up.

Little Prince settles down, meowing, and cooing, and purring, and he gives Anne kisses that leave her cheeks wet.

She still considers drifting off to sleep.

But she has classes today: physics, calculus, Chinese, a bit of English, and then there’s work. Ugh. Recently she got swindled by her newest client, but she’ll still get over a hundred bucks out of them, so she’ll finish the job and fucking move on.

Thinking about it makes her want to stay in bed. There’s a heavy, dark feeling in her chest.

She thinks about physics. She’s no good at it.

Calculus? Too hard.

Chinese. Her family tells her to drop it and that the world won’t give a shit.

English. She took it because it was easy.

It would be easier to stay in bed all day. Much easier. Anne could just lie there, and sleep, or read, maybe play some games on her phone. She can just stay there with Little Prince all day.

The more she thinks about it, and the more hurt by the world she feels, this idea really begins to sink in. She wouldn’t have to stop her crying about derivatives and intervals, and she wouldn’t have to sit there with the same damn thermodynamics problem about ice, and she wouldn’t have to stop getting confused by the differences of mā, má, mǎ, and mà. And she wouldn’t have to read that stupid article about publishing sectors.

Anne could close her door. Ignore her family. Her head tells her to break all ties with them, to yell that she hates them.

Does she?

Her head says yes, yes, yes.

But it just hurts and feels so wrong.

At least in bed she wouldn’t go to her brother and say something stupid. At least in bed she wouldn’t be doing any serious harm to herself, right?

She wouldn’t be cutting, she wouldn’t be thinking of running away, she wouldn’t punch a wall (probably), she wouldn’t try to sell nudes, wouldn’t find a stupid, trashy guy to hook up with.

So it was better.

Right?

Anne knew her brother would yell at her about food.

But who gave a shit?

Staying in bed all day meant she got to stay out of the kitchen. Even now, thinking about a potential breakfast sends her stomach into heated knots of anxiety, and her shoulders and neck tense.

God, what would she even have for breakfast? She didn’t fucking want anything. She wasn’t hungry. The food wasn’t good. No food was good. If someone could go up to her right now and convince her that one dish was good, she’d marry them on the spot. But that won’t happen, and all food is basically garbage. It’s a waste. Her time could be spent doing something else. Every day it was eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep. And only the sleep part sounded kind of nice (when she wasn’t having nightmares).

Eating. That was a living nightmare.

Her family called her picky. They didn’t even try to get food that she sometimes liked. And they wouldn’t let her eat her own portions.

Hmm…

Maybe if she locked herself in her room with her cat she wouldn’t have to eat all day. Not at all. Besides, she could feel the fat clinging to her body like extra packaging. She felt like a kid crammed into too many winter coats at once. Oh, to shed them off. To just be! That would be spectacular.

And to shed that she has to stay in bed all day, and continue hating food. Easy enough. Preparing food is stupid. The process of eating food is exhausting. And then the hate and guilt afterwards isn’t worth it. And it’s not worth the extra attention it draws to her body. She’s sure everyone can see it. How can they not? Her thighs are too jiggly; her calves are soft, ugly lumps that could do with some thinning; her biceps are puffs of fat; her hips carry weight like a fucking fannypack; and her stomach is too round, jutting out from whatever she wears.

Basically… her body’s a mess.

And that’s not the only mess of it. She should get up, take her medicine.

But punching a wall, tearing apart her headphones, and breaking up with her boyfriend is starting to sound like an increasingly good idea.

God, her boyfriend. She has to actually fucking talk to him, connect with him, put time into something temporary, something part of her would be more than happy to run away from.

She loves him.

She hates him.

Telling him he’s the worst thing to ever happen to her would do it, right? She’d never have to talk to him again? Never have to hold on to a connection that would break away and die either way?

Anne resists the urge to grab her phone.

She eventually does, and she just stares at the homescreen.

One-hundred-thirty-seven notifications from social media. Friends, fandom… She doesn’t want to respond, doesn’t want to talk to them. And she hasn’t for days. It’s just easier not to. She at least opens up the apps and clears the notifications. This way Anne can pretend that those people aren’t there, that they don’t exist.

But then, she smacks her thigh with her phone, feeling the keen sting. She does it again and again, until Little Prince urgently wraps himself about her, weirdly-strong tail around her neck. He’s purring. He’s kissing her.

Anne holds him close.

“Hey, dude, you getting up?”

Her brother.

Fuck.

Anne just grunts, hoping that’ll get him to leave her alone.

She loves her brother. He’s her best friend. But right now, when he comes to stand in Anne’s bedroom doorway all parent-like, she wants to scream and throw her phone at him. She’s tense from resisting.

A conversation Anne barely pays attention to ensues, and she drags herself out of bed. The temporary vision loss that follows is nothing new. Neither is the light-headedness, nor the headache, or the weak feeling in her legs, or the ache across her shoulders, the wheeze in her lungs.

Just another day in the life of Anne.

Fuck.

She goes through her morning routine, hating every second of it. She broke a few pills instead of getting herself to take them. But who cares, right? She’s not even on the right medicine to make her feel like a real person.

Anne finally looks in her drawers, and in her closet. Standing there, before all her clothes, she feels so vulnerable. With each article of clothing her eyes land on she assesses what bad quality it would cover up, and which it might make obvious. Sometimes the perfect outfit doesn’t exist, and sacrifices have to be made. But not today. Today she just stares and stares and feels completely empty, while her mind wanders to a celebrity’s wife that she’s a fan of.

God, she’s not just into the wife, but she likes her as a person, admires her. The night before she’d gone through her Instagram, and fan accounts for an hour.

Anne feels like her.

She picks out an outfit she thinks the wife might wear. She cries at the state of her body, which is being efficiently ruined with her recent reproductive health issue. She holds her lower abdomen and cries at the emptiness.

Wash your face, she tells herself. Get the fuck over it. You’re pathetic, and weak. No wonder your family hates you.

She tenses, curled in on herself, breath held as she thinks of her extended family. It’s as if somebody has suddenly punched her in the chest with brass knuckles.

Anne burns inside. In her head, she’s killing them. She’s brutalizing them, tearing them apart, screaming at them because they were evil bitches and they didn’t deserve to live.

Little Prince rolls over, demanding tummy kisses, and it passes.

After viciously brushing her hair, Anne lies back down with Little Prince, and smothers him in kisses. He needs her. She needs him.

Anne cries her last tears into his white, kitten-soft fur, and they hold each other until she’s ready to start the day, until her little boy knows she’s alright.

Time for breakfast.

She hates all the food they have. So Anne just sits down at the table and stares at her placemat till her brother finally decides to make pancakes.

Anne stops herself from throwing her plate at the wall. Little Prince brushes against her legs. Pancakes will do.

Beside her, her phone dings, dings, DINGS with notifications that will not be read.

The world would be better without all those people talking to her. But getting rid of them would be too much work. So, as she smells the pancakes start to cook on the pan, her stomach turning from the thought of having anything in her mouth, she thinks it’d just be easier to get rid of herself.

For now, all she can do is not eat. That would lessen herself, her physical presence, take all the weight off.

But then why does she still want to smash the hot pan into a cabinet? Why does she want to snap her laptop in half? Why does she sit there and start hitting herself with her phone, making it look like innocent tapping?

Why…?

Anne doesn’t know.

Her brother calls her name.

But it’s not her name. Not really. Anne isn’t her. Not inside. Inside, she’s nothing.

The pancakes sizzle, her phone dings, Little Prince yells, and she just sits there and sits there, holding it all in.

She makes it through one second, and then the next, all in her head thinking what that celebrity’s wife would do. That’s the right way to be, clearly… that other person. Who else would she try to emulate? Sure, it changed day by day, but today, she is hurting as she thinks of that woman and tries to be herself.

Ha! Be herself. What a joke. And not even one with a good punchline.

Anne’s brother asks her to set the table, and somehow, she gets up. She feels the soft dress against her skin; the nice, cool marble floor beneath her bare feet. The pancakes are nearly ready, and they actually smell good. Her brother smiles at her.

Anne smiles back, and somehow, despite it all, she feels it. Just for a moment, there’s peace.

[whoop-de-fuking-do]

Okay tbh, I have no idea what my identity is. I'm debating on dropping all labels and just. Be consumed by the void.

Because like

I havent felt "like a girl" since like 7th grade. like when I came out in freshman year of highschool (9th grade, US) to my friends, they werent surprised? Like they knew before even I did?

I had to get my hair cut due to a lice issue, and it was just above shoulder length when I finally got rid of them. I looked in the mirror and went "Huh, I kinda like short hair." so a few weeks later, my mom took me to a professional hairstylist, and I got a pixie cut- my first actual hairstyle that was different than I ever had before, and I'm the one who picked it out. I was so happy. Then it started to grow out. It was at my shoulders again when I was at my aunts house hanging out, and literally on impulse, my aunt and my mom went "Hey, do you want a haircut?" And of COURSE because I liked my short hair so much I went "HECK YEAH" and so we all went upstairs and basically gave me a buzzcut on the sides and back, but shortned the top. (Don't worry, they checked in with me a lot during this, just to make sure I was happy with the outcome.)

So there was my mohawk.

It was bad, and I could never get it to stand up right, but I was happy. And looking in the mirror with my short as fuck hair, rubbing my hand over the centimeter-length hair, with a big smile on my face, I realized that I looked like a boy and I was much happier with the idea of being called one.

Now, at the time, I was REALLY into Hetalia, and the 2P! characters that the fandom made piqed my interest. I read fanfics. (one that was based off of the Angel beats anime has stuck with me, and made me c r y) I made art I found on google my lockscreen and homescreen. I memorized little facts and designs from the 2p! FACE family. (and typing this, i remember another fanfic with 2p!Canada, where he takes y/n to a hotel and yall are on the run, which in hindsight could have kicked off that one dream I had... anyway.)

I remembered their names. At least the ones I cared about. I never really did care about 2p!France. (although ive fallen for the rest, and his 1p! counterpart.)

Allen Jones. (America)

Mathieu Williams. (Canada)

Oliver Kirkland. (England)

Now, those who know these characters, know what their whole deal is. I don't know why, but I still fall for these types of fictional characters. But that's not important.

I came downstairs, all giddy and happy, and I wizzed around the corner with a smile. Getting ready to leave, they were making remarks like "You're a boy now!" and the like. Now, it was honestly all in fun and games, and they never meant any ill harm, they could see how happy I was. So, while we were gathering our things, I was making remarks like "Haha, I guess you guys can call me Allen now." That got me informed that that was the middle name of a close family member, so oops, can't use that. "Well... call me Mathieu?" Nope, that was a first name of another family member, who I later met a month or two down the road. Different spelling, same pronounciation. I nervously laughed it off, keeping the last name to myself.

Soon after, I realized that I was attracted to boys and girls, when I got asked out by my close friend, and I said yes. She could tell that I liked both from the way that I acted, but I had no idea there was even a term for it.

So, I now identify as a girl(?) and bisexual.

Upon research upon this "Bisexual" term, I learned about others.

Transgender.

Lesbian.

Demi.

Genderfluid.

Genderfluid.

Genderfluid.

That had a nice ring to it, and it fit pretty well what I was feeling at the time.

So.

I wasn't a girl, and that's why I was uncomfortable with she/her pronouns at some times and not others. I liked the idea of having he/him pronouns, and I loved they/them pronouns. Those made me the happiest, and they still do.

I had my girlfriend over for the weekend, and that was in a time of my life where I was out to my friends at school, and I have notified them of the name I liked, Oliver. They were all surpportive, but I never enforced the name change until about two years ago, or halfway through my 11th grade year.

Anyway, it was also a time where I couldn't stand my birth name or pronouns, and I actually physically flinched whenever I got called them. I wasn't out to my grandmother at the time, who I had been staying with for the weekend, so my girlfriend and I went up to my room later on the day and we talked. She brought it up, and I explained just the extent of how it affected me.

1/?

[pixeldreqms]

september 2018 

there's an estimated forty days left of filming and already, ian's dreading the end. he's been trying harder to enjoy the little moments, and not just be miserable because he knows they won't last forever. it's hard, but he's trying. he's almost never as happy as he is when he's with these people, his fellow losers, and he doesn't want to waste the time he has left with them.

forty days.

probably closer to thirty nine now since it's past midnight. one more day down. but that's something he's not letting himself linger on. instead, his eyes settle on kennedy who is getting his ass kicked in a video game but is still laughing so loud that the sound is filling the entire basement of the rented house. he focuses on that sound and can't help but smile. he focuses on it and he swears every sad thought in his head floats away, just like that.

he accepted earlier in the summer that his feelings for kenny weren't as platonic as he had originally thought. but in his defense, he was only twelve when they first met. he had a lot of figuring out to do.

he's figured it out now.

he loves all his friends, strongly and deeply, and he's a little co-dependent with more than a couple of them. if he goes a day without talking to evan, he genuinely misses him. he goes out of his way to visit the burgess' at every given chance. each member of the cast has expressed annoyance with the way he spams the group chat while they're all asleep. he's entirely convinced he needs june to survive. and he feels all that with kenny, too, so it took him some time to realize just how much more he felt. and how he felt things for him that went well beyond the things he felt for everyone else he loved.

he doesn't get an overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss any of his other friends when they get too close, for starters. that was a big tip off for ian.

kenny jokingly winked at him once and he felt like someone had lit him on fire.

he constantly found himself shoving others aside just to stand by him in group photos or to sit by him on a couch during a movie.

his own behavior should have been a giveaway right away, but he's not exactly very experienced in that area. not in just dating, but even with liking people. he's only really had one real crush before, and he'd been twelve. and he'd never liked one of his guy friends before either - but he'd accepted that fact easily. given how many male tv characters he'd been infatuated with over the years, and his long-standing secret harry styles obsession that started back when he was ten years old, he'd always suspected he wasn't totally straight. he still hasn't slapped a label on himself yet, but he doesn't think he needs to know for sure what he is to know that he definitely has feelings for kenny.

feelings that are so intense that sometimes he can't even think about anything else. feelings that are so all-consuming that all he wants to talk about 24/7 is kenny and he has to force himself, multiple times a day, to shut up about him or else he'll give himself away or let too much slip. and he knows better than to say anything, to kenny, or to anyone.

but god he wants to.

he's kept this feeling bottled up for months now, though it feels like so much longer, and sometimes he feel like he's gonna burst from how bad he wants to talk about it. his journal only has so many pages he can wax poetic about kenny onto, and he's sure even the inanimate object is sick of hearing about his crush. he needs a pair of real ears. and maybe someone to tell him he's not stupid or crazy for falling for his best friend. because boy oh boy does he feel like he is sometimes.

evan's loud hooping and hollering covers up the sound of kenny's laughter, and ian rolls his eyes but can't help but grin in amusement. his victory had been predicted since mid-game, but evan was still celebrating like he'd done something impressive.

in an attempt to show kenny support, ian raises his arm and gives evan and his win a thumbs down. "booooooo."

he gets two middle fingers raised at him for his efforts. he thinks that's all he's getting in return for voicing his disapproval, until evan drops the controller and comes flying past the gaming area, past the couch, and leaping onto ian where he's sprawled across a huge bean bag chair.

"hey, i wanted to play the winner!" jeremy shouts from the couch in front of the tv, where the other four teenagers had been sat, partially watching the game, partially on their phones, mostly having their own conversations.

ian easily could have squeezed in with them, but he couldn't resist a good bean bag. plus, he was closer to the little mini bar area that this place had. the bar itself wasn't stocked with alcohol, not that ian cares or jeremy's mom would have let them drink anyway, but she kept the shelves and mini fridge stocked. ian likes being close to the snacks.

"well i'm over here now!" evan yells back. the loud volume right in ian's ear makes him wince. "play the loser. kenny, that's you. you're the loser."

ian shoves evan off of him and onto the floor. "dick."

"no," evan says, rejecting his removal from the chair. "move your ass."

"no." but he does it anyway. he can't move much or else he'd be on the floor, because yes it's a big seat, but they're both months away from being sixteen and are not the same small twelve year olds they'd been when they first met. they've hit massive growth spurts since then. sharing small spaces isn't as easy as it once was, but it doesn't stop them from trying. evan ends up with one of his legs completely over ian's and their shoulders pressed together. ian lets it happen, but he's still mildly annoyed about it. "wow, this is so comfortable. i'm so glad you came all the way over here to dig your elbow into my stomach. feels great."

"are you saying you don't want to sit with me, you a**hole?" evan asks.

evan's elbow digs deeper into his side and ian's pretty sure it's on purpose. he grimaces and shifts as much as he can but still doesn't move out of the seat.

"that's literally exactly what i'm saying, yeah. you stink."

the bickering continues, because it never really ends with them. there's an almost constant flow of jokes and jabs between them. but for as much as they give each other sh*t, him and evan have definitely had their fair share of genuine moments between them. anytime ian has an anxiety attack in a group setting, evan's one of a few who knows how to calm him. ian's called him crying about his family or about wanting to go home more than once. there was also the time on set during their first movie together where after an intense, emotional scene, they'd both cried and hugged each other until they got it out of their system. sometimes his relationship with evan reminds him of his relationship with his sister, and the way they can pick and pick at each other, but at the end of the day, they'd die for one another.

it's just really fun to insult each other, so they do it often.

eventually, after evan shouts at ian to eat an ass, they're informed they're being too loud.

anna, the only girl in a group of boys, shushes them with so much aggression that it terrifies ian a little. she puts up with so much nonsense every time she hangs out with them, he's just waiting for the day she finally snaps. he knows he doesn't want it to be his fault, so he does as he's told and shushes.

"they're all haters," evan mutters.

ian nods. "they wanna be us so bad."

and just like that, they're on the same team again.

ian feels a vibration against his leg and realizes his phone's fallen under his thigh. as he digs it out, he sees evan's own attention has momentarily returned to the game on the tv just as the loading screen transitions back into gameplay, so he feels less bad about checking it. reading kenny's name on his screen, he visibly lights up, grinning at the text.

'if he's being a dick, come escape and play me next,' kenny has written.

ian quickly types back. 'he's not, but i might anyway. wanna be next to kick your ass.'

he glances across the room, but he can't see kenny at all where he's sitting on the floor in front of the couch, so he has no idea if he's grinning as big as ian is just from seeing a new text from him. he can't imagine he is, but it's still a nice thought. as soon as the round on the tv ends and the loading screen is back up, kenny starts typing.

'I THINK I'M WINNING THIS TIME.'

ian's smile widens, his cheeks sore from it, but he doesn't get a chance to start replying before -

"is it a meme?" evan asks, neck craning to look. ian clicks back to his homescreen quickly.

"is what a meme?"

evan slumps back a little once ian drops his phone to his lap. "whatever you were staring at like that."

"no, or - yeah." he answers, then changes his answer when he realizes he can't tell him what he was actually grinning at.

he wasn't as subtle as he had hoped.

"you lookin' at something nasty?" evan asks. "you fvcking freak?"

ian blinks, then deadpans, "yes. i'm looking at something nasty while surrounded by my friends. with you practically in my lap. you caught me."

"thought so. looking like a blushing school girl over here." that one's a little too close to home considering he feels like a smitten school girl every time he sees or talks to kenny, so ian shoves evan for it. he almost rolls over the edge of the seat but gets a palm on the ground to steady himself. "come on. seriously. what was it? what's so secret?"

"fvck, you're nosy."

"invested in your life," evan corrects him.

"nosy," ian insists.

evan gives him a look, a raised brow and a silent dude, come on, tell me, and ian takes a breath.

he reminds himself there's a reason he's kept this secret so under wraps. as much as he wants to scream from the rooftop how much he likes kenny, the risk of him finding out isn't worth it. he'd ruin not only their friendship, but probably the entire group. they'd never be able to all be together. not with kenny inevitably being weirded out by ian's crush, and ian being too mortified to be around him anymore. the rest of filming would be a nightmare. getting through press and the promotion would be torture. he'd lose his favorite person.

nothing good could possibly come from people knowing.  

then, he reminds himself this is evan. they may thrive off of giving each other sh*t, but he can trust him. he's never let him down before. not when it mattered. if there's anyone he can tell and trust they won't screw him over by letting it slip, he feels like it's evan.

if for no other reason than he'd suffer, too. not just because ian would never forgive him, but he'd hate it if the group dynamic was thrown out of wack, too.

evan feels like a safe place to finally be honest.

so he exhales, and speaks.

"it was a - i was looking at something from - it's a someone."

a bit of a rocky start, but he got where he was trying to go after a few attempts.

"you have a someone?" evan asks, seeming mildly offended that this isn't information he was already privy to. "someone i don't know about?"

"i don't really have someone," ian tells him. "i just... want to. i want to be with them."

"who is she?"

"it's..." ian's voice is barely a whisper at this point. "it's not a girl..."

the silence that follows is the longest, most anxiety inducing silence ian has ever experienced. it can't be more than twenty seconds, probably not even that long, before evan speaks again but it feels like a lifetime. he doesn't know why he's so nervous about the reaction to this. he knows evan well enough to know he won't care, but people can be surprising in the worst ways sometimes. and he's never done this before. he's pretty sure his sister has an inkling, but he's never come out and admitted it to her. this is the first time he's having the actual conversation and god it's fvcking terrifying. he kind of wants to cry suddenly but he's really holding himself together.

even while fearing and preparing himself for the worst, he mostly expects evan to react with some generic but kind sentiment. a that's okay with me, dude or an i love and accept you, pal.

that's not what he gets.

after a moment, evan's brow furrows, his head tilts just slightly, and he asks, as sincere as can be, "man, is it me?"

it's just what ian needs to hear to ease his tension. he throws his head back and lets out a cackle. the ache in his stomach is no longer due to nerves, but from how hard he's laughing. "absolutely fvcking -" he has to stop, pausing as he got through another fit of laughter. "oh, absolutely fvcking not."

a tear rolls down his cheek and he flicks it away as he finally starts to calm down. then he gets a good look at how unamused evan looks and it sets him off again.

"okay, it's not me, i got it!" evan says in a hushed whisper, just loud enough to be heard over the sound of ian's own laughter. "who is it then?"

the nerves are back, suddenly. and again, he doesn't even know why. he wants this. he wants to be able to talk to someone about his feelings. he wants evan to know. but his palms are still sweating.

"you can't tell him," ian says softly. "i'll literally strangle you. you have to swear."

"i swear," he assures him. "so it's someone i know?"

he's pretty sure evan knows everyone ian knows. even his few remaining guy friends from back home, evan's met. but he doesn't remind him of that now, just nods and confirms. "yeah. it's someone you know."

"who? i'm not gonna tell, ian."

nervously, he glances towards the couch, just to make sure the game was still being played and their entire group of friends hadn't turned around to stare and listen to his confession. all he sees are the backs of heads, and he can hear everyone's laughter mixed with anna's muffled trash talk as she has a go at the game. no one's paying attention to him except for evan.

for some reason, he's having a hard time looking at him. the hardest part is already over, he tells himself, just spit his name out. but he's also telling himself that it's not too late and he can keep this secret to himself. evan would be annoyed about the cliffhanger, but ian could deal with that easier than he could deal with other possible outcomes of telling him.

no. he's doing this.

suck it the fvck up.

with his eyes on the back of the couch, in the smallest voice possible, he admits, "kenny."

he doesn't know what evan's initial reaction is, because it takes a few seconds for him to finally meet his eyes again, but when he does look at him again, his face isn't easy to read. he doesn't look shocked, exactly - and really, given that ian is arguably closest to kenny and evan out of everyone, it probably wasn't the most surprising name he could have said. if anything, he looks... confused?

"you're not gonna tell him, are you?" ian asks, misreading the look as inner turmoil about not wanting to keep a secret from their other best friend.

that's not at all what it is.

"no, i said i'm not," evan huffs. "but, why the fvck is it not me?"

"i'm - i'm sorry?" ian says, because what else does he say to that? "are you offended that i don't have a crush on you?"

"am i not cute?"

"evan, this isn't how people are supposed to react to sh*t like this -"

"i just can't believe out of everyone - kenny." he whispers it, at least. "and not me? really?"

"i'd love it if you weren't so fvcking weird about this."

"i'm not being weird! it being me just would have made sense, is all i'm saying."

ian squints. "and it being kenny doesn't make sense?"

evan sighs, falling back into the chair a little. "yeah, i guess it does. it does."

"just to make sure - " ian says, putting a hand up. "you don't - i mean, you're not upset because you like - "

"ew, don't even say it. i don't like you."

it's ian's turn to sigh and lean back into the seat. "okay, cool. you're just... fvcking weird. that's good to know."

there's a moment of silence and ian just breathes. he did it. he did it and nothing's changed, nothing world shattering happened. he feels like a weight's been lifted, just by telling one person. it feels really good. even if it didn't go how he'd have imagined it to. still good.

"knew it couldn't have been a meme you were looking at," evan says a minute later. "the memes you send are never that funny."

ian scoffs. "fvck you. i send the funniest memes."

"willow sends the funniest memes."

"you're gonna go to hell for saying sh*t like that. lying is a fcking sin."

"is it?"

ian pauses.

"... i'm not sure. i think so. did neither of us go to church growing up? that kind of explains a lot."

there's an angry cry from the front of the room that draws their attention. anna curses, followed by kenny laughing. once again, ian smiles at the sound.

the laughter, not the cursing.

"did kenny actually win?!" evan shouts over to the rest of the group.

kenny and anna stand up as the other three perk up on the couch to look over at the two in the bean bag.

"i've been winning!" kenny calls back.

jeremy chimes in. "he's on a winning streak!"

"more like a cheating streak," anna mumbles.

"he's beaten everyone except evan," jeremy says.

"ahem!" evan waves a hand, gesturing to ian. "not everyone except evan. let ian at him."

ian tries to suppress his grin. he'd been so worried about the bad outcomes of telling evan, but he hadn't considered all the good reasons. like evan helping him get closer to kenny. even just in little ways, like playing video games. maybe this was a better idea than he thought.

he meets kenny's eyes and when kenny smiles at him, he can't hide his own anymore.

"ian?" kenny asks. "you want the winner?"

evan nudges ian in the side, winking at him as they make eye contact and calling out to kenny, "yeah, he does."

on second thought, he might end up regretting it.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Eighty-Five: An Artist ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

He’s never been one much for the arts. That’s always been more his brother’s calling, despite their father’s begrudging acceptance. While Itachi pursued music, Sasuke took to filling Fugaku’s expectations and going to school to major in business.

Granted, Itachi’s doing quite well - arguably better than his younger brother. Lessons from age four, of course, give him a little edge. Add in natural dexterity and talent, and he’s already playing in recital halls packed to the brim to hear him play his melancholy notes.

But Sasuke can’t bring himself to be jealous. Sure, he’s still hanging from a rather low rung of the corporate ladder, but it’s stuff he finds fairly mindless and easy. While many hate their jobs, Sasuke simply...does his, neither actively enjoying or disliking it. It’s just something he does for about eight hours a day, five days a week. So far he’s managing a rather frugal lifestyle just fine.

Granted, it’s also a rather lonesome lifestyle. Sasuke’s not much of a socializer to begin with, but occasionally a friend will drag him out for something. But mostly, he enjoys doing things either with his family, or on his own.

Today is one of the latter days.

Just down the street from his apartment is a niche little coffee shop he frequents. Itachi teases him about how hipster it seems, but Sasuke just brushes the comments aside. He doesn’t much care what it’s like besides being quiet, quaint, and hosting (in his opinion) perfectly brewed black coffee.

Which is why he’s currently seated at his favorite corner table, sipping a cup and going over a presentation he needs to deliver next week. It’s already finished, but it’s an excuse to get out of his living quarters and get some liquid energy. While he can’t practice the auditory part here, he can tinker a few details and...mostly spend the afternoon browsing his favorite sites.

...that is...until he feels eyes on him.

His own flicker up, the only part of him moving as they search for the intruder. But every other face is turned away - either browsing their own laptops or phones, reading, talking to a table mate, or...scribbling on a rather large pad of paper.

Dark eyes squint just a hair, watching.

It’s a young woman - about his age, maybe a little younger...her face is rather soft, so it’s hard to tell. Seated in a booth along the opposite wall, she has her knees brought up to rest against the lip of her table, and a sizeable sketchbook is propped atop them. He can tell she’s not writing - her hand flies across the paper far too much to be anything but drawing.

Huh...he has to wonder what she’s sketching. Not that he knows much about it, but surely the setting is quite nice. A still life, maybe - seems like something rather eye-catching to draw. Or so he’ll guess. Itachi would have far more idea about than he. His talents might lie in music, but he knows the artistic side of things in general better than Sasuke ever will.

After a minute or so, he goes back to his laptop screen, sipping his coffee and absorbing back into the work.

When he starts packing up to head home, she’s already gone.

The work week passes, and it’s not until the following Saturday he can make it back. Unlike his last visit, it’s pouring rain this time. A wet umbrella rests against his chair. The same project - to be presented Monday - is back on his laptop screen...but mostly just as an excuse. He told Naruto he couldn’t go to some local league basketball game he’s playing in due to work.

It’s...half true. He hasn’t given the presentation yet. It’s still a work in progress. But he also hasn’t touched it in three days because the powerpoint part is done. While he could be home rehearsing it...Naruto has a nasty habit of dropping in even when told no. Hence hiding out here.

Besides, he’s got it memorized already. He’s not missing much by loligagging here.

The shop’s a bit more crowded today - probably because warm drinks are the perfect staple for a cool, rainy Spring day. And who wants to be out in the weather? Better to just...cozy up here until the rain stops.

The numbers don’t bother him - he got here early enough to claim his table, and no one’s dared ask to steal a chair or join him. Whether he intends it or not (though usually he does), Sasuke has a rather distance-inducing aura. Or at least, that’s how his brother oh so politely puts it.

Sasuke, on the other hand, knows he just has a major case of resting bitch face. And he’s more than glad for the annoyances it spares him...at least, with anyone intelligent enough to read it. Hence why Naruto still hangs around...he just doesn’t quite get it.

Today he’s indulging in a bitter cup of sugarless hot cocoa when that same feeling returns: like someone’s watching him. Looking up, he still doesn’t catch anyone staring.

...but he does notice she’s back. Sketchbook lady. Returned to the same spot, shying a bit from her neighbors but still scribbling away. This time it’s not just a pencil - some colored...somethings sit in a neat tray atop her table. Not pencils, and...he doesn’t think they’re crayons? Oh, who cares what they are. Either way, she must be coloring her previous shot, given her same vantage point and what looks to be the same sketchbook.

Huh.

A bit more curious this time, Sasuke takes to watching her. Every so often, she looks up and studies the wall behind him: the one directly across from her. Shrewd, pale eyes squint as she examines it before going back to her coloring.

...he sort of wants to see it.

Sasuke also can’t help but wonder how she’s accounting for the change of people. There’s more of them, and they’re surely different than last weekend. Did she just...go over what she had? Or is she improvising? He’s never really given such things a thought before, but...watching someone in the act of creating, admittedly, piques his interest.

But after a little while, it gets a bit repetitive...and he can’t exactly see what she’s doing. A little disappointed, Sasuke goes back to his procrastinating, eventually noting that the rain has stopped. Should he risk going back home…?

Maybe not yet.

He stays a few hours more, ordering another cup and an everything bagel to pass the time. Not the best lunch he could have, but...meh. He can have something better for him for dinner. Only once he gets a text from the knucklehead proclaiming victory (and whining he didn’t show up) does Sasuke deem it safe to head home.

The next morning, he wakes to his phone vibrating against his nightstand. Groggily he grabs it, swiping to answer and mumbling, “Hullo?”

“Sasuke, good morning.”

He blinks slowly. “...’tachi?”

“Forgive me for calling so early, but I wanted you to be the first to know: I’m going to be back in town for the week. I’ll be flying in this afternoon.”

Dark eyes quickly brighten, sitting up. “Really?”

“Yes. I was going to tell Mother and Father tomorrow morning - I thought, for today, it could just be the two of us.”

A kind of childish glee at both the falsehood (his brother never lies) and his indulging of Sasuke’s constant pining to see him beget a smile. “Yeah, sure - got anything in mind?”

“Oh, I thought we’d just wander around downtown and see what jumps out at us. I haven’t been back in almost a year, I want to see what’s changed.”

“Okay, yeah - sure.”

“I’ll meet you at your building - I’ve got a rental car arranged. I should be there about three?”

“I’ll be waiting!”

Hanging up, Sasuke can’t help but grin at his brother’s number before it fades back to the homescreen. Well...talk about a great start to a week!

By the time Itachi makes it, he’s been bored for hours, having little else to do on a Sunday but wait around. They immediately leave again, going on foot to simply explore.

“I’ve missed this city,” Itachi admits wistfully, hands in his coat’s pockets and simply looking around.

“And we’ve missed you - how’re all your gigs going?”

“Wonderfully. I’ve been planning a little tour with another artist: a vocalist who’s been practicing with me the past few weeks.”

“Any stops near here?”

“In here, as a matter of fact - but not for a few months. We’ve got quite a bit of practice and arranging to do. But I will let you know.” Slowing to a stop, Itachi cocks his head curiously at an open door. “...Sasuke, care to go in?”

“Huh? What is it?”

“Apparently an art exhibition - locals, seems like.”

It might not be his scene, but...well, Itachi’s the guest, and it’ll make him happy. “Yeah, sure.”

The pair enter, quickly seeing a variety of works and mediums by a vast array of artists. While Itachi speaks to the host, Sasuke starts wandering, not as invested as he’s sure Itachi will be. Thumbs hooked in his belt loops, he glances over several pieces before coming to a standstill.

Wait...but that’s…?

Still staring as Itachi joins him, Sasuke barely hears his question. “...huh?”

“I asked if you found something you like…? Oh...well that looks an awful lot like -”

“It’s me.”

“...are you sure?”

“Yeah, I…” A bit flabbergasted, Sasuke shifts his weight, gesturing. “I go there all the time. That’s my table, and my laptop -” His umbrella even made it in the shot. There’s no doubt about it: even the angle matches. This has to be that woman, from before! She was drawing...him…?

“Can I help -? Oh!”

Both brothers turn to an approaching figure, and Sasuke locks surprised eyes with none other than the artist. Her own are wide, and color lightly tints her cheeks.

“It...it’s you!”

“Yeah...me,” Sasuke replies. Now it makes sense: why he kept feeling watched.

“I...I-I hope you don’t mind me using you as a model, I...I mostly do street drawing. I just...draw what I see. I was lucky to catch you twice, and so quickly! I just finished this piece this morning, I almost couldn’t bring it…” A hand tucks stray hair behind her ear. “...I’m Hinata.”

“Sasuke. Nice to actually meet you, I guess.”

“L-likewise!”

Behind him, Itachi gives a knowing smile. “May I ask, are your works for sale?”

“Oh, well...no, technically not.”

“Ah...forgive me.”

“No no, that’s okay! Would you...like to buy it…?”

“It’s rare to see my brother captured in such a way,” Itachi muses, earning an embarrassed glower from Sasuke. “You truly did a fantastic job. Of course, if you’d like to keep it -”

“No, I understand! I’m just delighted you f-found it! This city’s rather big, after all…”

“As am I. And I’m always a fan of supporting local creators. So, may we negotiate…?”

As the talk turns to money, Sasuke scowls and sulks off to one side, eyeing her other works. True to her word, most are just...captures of various local places and people. Though stylized to a point, he can still recognize quite a few places just at a glance, and further looking shows a great amount of detail.

Signing a check, Itachi hands it over with a smile. “A pleasure, miss Hyūga. I do hope you keep creating - your works are lovely.”

She ducks her head shyly, and then glances to the slip, eyes going wide. “...but you said -?”

“Please, consider it a well-deserved tip. I know enough artists to know they often undersell themselves. And yours is a talent worth supporting.”

Looking awed, Hinata breaks into a soft smile. “I’ll...go see about packaging this for you. Thank you s-so much.”

Itachi nods, turning as his brother steps back up. “Are you truly so opposed to the piece?”

“No...I’m not. It’s just kinda weird.”

“Why?”

“I dunno. Just is.”

“Well, it’s clear your territories overlap - perhaps she’ll be able to draw you again, hm?”

He doesn’t have an answer for that.

Returning with the framed artwork carefully wrapped and bagged, Hinata hands it over with another thank you. “Um...s-sorry again for stealing your visage.”

“Don’t worry about it. I guess now I get to see what you were working so hard on.”

Another light blush pinkens her cheeks. “I’ve wanted to do a portrait in there for ages...you just had the right...look, I guess.”

That earns a small snort. “Suppose I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Miss Hyūga, might I have your cell number in case I find any other potential investors in you and your work?”

“Oh! Um...sure!”

“Sasuke, you should do the same.”

“What?”

His brother gives him a look that clearly says not to question him. “It’s never a bad idea to stay connected. Besides, given I’ve taken her only copy, Hinata might want to arrange another portrait.”

Squinting suspiciously, Sasuke nonetheless agrees, exchanging digits.

“Thank you so much, miss Hyūga.”

“Oh, please just call me Hinata.”

“Very well - I hope you enjoy your evening.”

Once the brothers take their leave, Sasuke rounds on Itachi. “What was that all about?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“All of that!”

“What, I can’t buy art of you?”

“No, that’s - you were - and the number -”

“It’s clear she finds you intriguing,” Itachi replies briskly. “And not just in a superficial way. She could have captured anyone in that shop, but she chose you. Hinata saw something that caught her eye about you that no one else had managed. I just thought keeping a person with that impression of you close might be...wise.”

“...you’re setting me up.”

“Connections, Sasuke - they’re important.” Itachi gives him a smile, eyes twinkling. “Don’t they teach you that in your line of work?”

Having no retort, Sasuke just stuffs his hands in his pockets. “...c’mon, we’ve still got daylight to burn.”

“If you insist.”

     Oof, this is...very very long compared to most entries, and now it's super late, I gotta get hopping to bed xD      I got the idea not long after reading the prompt, and honestly thought it wouldn't be long enough...and then it ended up twice as long as most drabbles I've done for this challenge! But it was a cute concept, even when I realized it was gonna sop up the rest of my evening, haha!      Anyway, I'm wiped, so I better call it. Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading!

[anjuschiffer]

Hey, SyGenesis13! I was your secret santa! I really hope you enjoy this! Tried to mesh two of the ideas you gave me!

@bkdksecretsanta, thank you for this wonderful event!

“NO! Mina! Why did you do that for?” Kaminari yelled, fumbling the joy-con within his thumbs and fingers as he looked at Mina with sad eyes.

2nd Place.

Meanwhile, Link was on the screen, waving to an imaginary crowd before swerving thanks to a banana peel.

Mina simply smiled and threw him a peace sign.

1st Place

Her inkling was making her rounds around the Dry Dry Desert. The inkling’s pink hair fluttering behind her dark brown skin, pumping her shooter into the air with glee.

Sero let out a weak laugh as he looked at his portion of the screen.

10th Place

“At least you didn’t drastically drop.” Sero averted his gaze to the side before returning his gaze to the screen, Waluigi trying to make his round across the track before being hit by a red shell. He then turned to see someone that was bothering him since the beginning of the race. “How long has he been there?”

Mina looked to the side, sighing as she looked at Bakugo pacing around in a circle, mumbling about something.

“Since we started.” Mina said, wondering if Izuku had been rubbing his weird habit to him. “Where’s Kiri?”

“He went out earlier with Iida to help with the groceries. They should be here by now.” Sero said, checking the time on the Switch’s homescreen.

“Does no one really know what’s going on with him?” Kaminari said, getting up to stretch.

They’ve been playing Mario Kart 8 for almost an hour and ever since they started playing, Bakugo had been pacing around just murmuring. It was creeping the three out, mainly because muttering is Midoriya’s thing.

That’s when a tuft in green made it into their view.

“Midoriya!” The three said in unison, making the poor boy jump, his attention snapping to those who called him. His eyes then landed on Bakugo, his head tilting to the side from the odd sight of seeing him murmuring. He was pretty sure that was his thing.

Bakugo simply glanced towards Izuku before returning to his murmuring, which only got faster and more sulkier in tone.

“H-Hey guys, what are you guys up to?” Izuku said, approaching the three, Kaminari offering a joy-con to Izuku, only for Mina to slap it out of his hand. The joy-con bounced onto the sofa, Kaminari frowning.

“Just playing, although he’s becoming a problem.” Sero said, pointing in Bakugo’s direction.

“Yeah, he’s been in that corner, sulking away-”

“I’m not sulking!” Bakugo yelled, turning their way before locking eyes with Izuku. He casted his eyes downward before getting up to leave the room. Izuku watched his back grower small before feeling a nudge. He looked at Sero, who tilted his head towards Bakugo.

“You know, you’ve been the closest to him since the beginning of school.” Sero started.

“And though it wasn’t of good terms-” Kaminari added, getting a glare from Mina.

“You probably know how to get to him.” Mina finished. “Truth be told, none of us like seeing him like that.”

Izuku stood there for a while, biting the side of his cheek. Sero, Kaminari and Mina looked at him with doe eyes, the game they were playing already a past memory. Izuku let of a soft huff.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Izuku said, turning around to go after Katsuki, but then promptly stopped. “I’ll see if the five of us can play some Kart when we’re done. I have still yet to defeat him in it!” Izuku said, with a smile.

The trio smiled as well, the clouded look in their eyes lifting.

“I still have to beat him too! I just let him win last time.” Kaminari said as he placed his hands on his hips, Sero laughing at his lie.

“As if!” Mina yelled, the three getting into a squabble. Izuku smiled at their shoving. Now it was time to find Katsuki.

Izuku leaned against a wall, pondering about his options.

He realized that the elevator didn’t make any type of noise, so he didn’t go upstairs. He was still on the first floor. Or rather, on ground level.

He had some ideas, rather he had to think about the layout of the dorms. Bakugo could only be in the places that are on the first floor: the common room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the baths, and- Izuku sighed.

And the courtyard.

Izuku got off the wall and made his way towards the courtyard, a bit of him hoping that he wasn’t there. It was winter and that meant cold air and Izuku just came from his room. He didn’t want to go back upstairs to be quite honest.

So there was no choice but to check the courtyard first and get back in as soon as possible. It’s been freezing temperature lately and Izuku knows what it would mean to get sick right now: missing out on training.

Sighing, Izuku made his way to the doors that lead outside.

-

Luckily Katsuki wasn’t there. But where else was he?

Placing his thumb under his chin, Izuku walked towards the baths, kicking the door open with his foot. He panicked when he realized that the door was about to slam into the wall, stumbling to grab the handle.

Thankfully he managed to grab it, only to find Iida standing there, putting a hair dryer away.

“Midoriya! Don't you know how dangerous that was?! What if-”

“Iida! Have you seen Kacchan?”

“Bakugo?” Iida hummed, Izuku waiting for him to say yes. “I haven't.” A whine. “Did something happen to him?”

“N-no! Just wondering that's all. See you later!” Izuku said, dejected that Katsuki wasn't there. He quickly left the baths, walking towards his next destination: the kitchen.

-

The kitchen was a disappointment, not walking into spicy air nor the smell of cooking oil which was usually a sign of Katsuki cooking. Izuku finally found him in the laundry room of all places. At first it was hard to see him since he was out of his line of sight. But when he got closer to the laundry machines, he found him in the corner, sitting there with his arms on top of his knees and his head leaning on them.

Izuku was going to leave the laundry room when he saw that the washing machines were on and an empty laundry hamper lied on the floor. Izuku thought someone simply left it there to come back later. But he stayed when the ever-so-familiar smell of marshmallows hit him.

Izuku felt a pang in his chest, causing him to grip his shirt in his hand.

“Hey.” Izuku started, seeing Katsuki flinch. He didn’t look up. Izuku walked over to where he was, taking a seat beside him. “So, want to talk about it?” Katsuki didn’t move, or at least it didn’t seem like it. Izuku felt something lean into him ever so slightly.

“Next week...next week it’s my grandmother’s meinichi.” Katsuki said, his voice daring to crack and falter. Izuku frowned.

Getting up, he closed the laundry room door and returned to his spot on the floor.

“Meinichi…” Izuku repeated. He took Katsuki’s silence as a yes. The now-and-then distractions during class, the late night run-ins, the missing of training exercises...they all made sense. “Is that why you’ve been acting strange lately?”

“What other reason could it be? Not like I’d hiding a huge ass secret from everyone else.” Katsuki said, getting a weak chuckle from Izuku.

“You’re right.” Izuku said, letting out a deep huff. “Want me to go with you?” Izuku asked, resting his head on top of Katsuki’s. Katsuki simply leaned further into Izuku, almost sliding into Izuku’s chest. Izuku fixed himself, his back against the laundry machines while his chest made for a place for Katsuki to rest his head.

“If you want.” Katsuki simply said, no type of tears running down, just the crack that was tempting to creep into his voice. “Don’t force yourself.”

“I should be saying the same thing.” Izuku said, feeling the irregular breathes and trembles from Katsuki. “Don’t force yourself.” Katsuki remained silent, laying there, listening to Izuku’s heartbeat. A smooth beat that made him close his eyes.

“Idiot.” Katsuki said, slipping his hand into Izuku’s. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll just go just to make sure then.” Izuku said, firmly clasping their hands together, rubbing his thumb lovingly against Katsuki’s hand. He ran his thumb over the calluses on Katsuki's hand. “You know I’m always here if you need me.” Izuku said. “By the way, want to play with the others? Kaminari said that last time was a fluke and purposely let you win.”

Katsuki lifted his head.

“Did he?” Katsuki got up, the sound of small crackles and tiny sparks from his hand filled the laundry room. “I think it’s time for a rematch. Let’s go Deku!”

Izuku let out a nervous laugh.

Izuku walked behind Katsuki, explosions rising to the air as the duo walked into the common room. The playing trio turned their heads to see Bakugo, smiles gracing their faces when they saw him back to normal.

“Bakugo!” They chimed in unison, tiny sparkles simmered from the corner of their eyes.

“Alien Queen, hand me a controller.” Bakugo said, walking up to the couch. Mina blinked.

He called by her squad name despite him saying it was a stupid idea to have squad nicknames.

“S-sure.” Mina said, handing him a red joy-con. Taking it, Bakugo walked over to Kaminari. Kaminari simply sat there, sweating buckets of sweat when he saw the grin on Bakugo’s face.

“So Pikachu, Deku told me that last time was a fluke.”

“Fluke? Did I say fluke? I meant to say-”

“Prepare yourself Pikachu. This will become an indisputable win.”

“SOMEONE SAVE ME!” Kaminari yelled as he got up to run away, only for Bakugo to push him back down and jump over the sofa to sit down.

“Let the games begin!” Mina shouted, pumping a fist into the air.

-

Izuku smiled as he stirred a cup of cocoa from the kitchen counter.

“HOW?!” Kaminari yelled, dropping his joy-con in the process. The poor thing landed with a clink.

Link tried to make his round in Rainbow Road only to be hit with various items at the same time.

LAST PLACE

Bakugo grinned as he held his arm high in the air.

1ST PLACE

Bowser made his round peacefully, Mina's inkling riding peacefully behind him.

“At least I'm 4th.” Sero said, Waluigi swerving thanks to a loose banana. “Thanks what you get for messing with-”

“King Explosion.” Izuku finished as he held out a mug of cocoa towards Katsuki.

“You forgot Murder.” Katsuki said, mumbling a ‘thank you' as he took the mug.

“Look! IT'S SNOWING!” Mina yelled as she pointed towards outside, everyone else turning to where she was pointing towards.

“When did it start snowing?” Sero asked, as if hoping someone could answer.

“Probably when you guys started playing.” Izuku said, looking at the piled up snowing outside. Only a few centimeters. “The snow isn't very deep.”

“Who cares?” Mina shouted with gee. “It's snow!” With that, she jumped over the sofa and ran towards the glass doors that lead outside, squishing her face against the glass.

“Bakugo!” Kaminari shouted, gaining said boy's attention.

“What?”

“I want a rematch!”

“Fine, but-” Bakugo started, walking towards the glass doors. “Let's change the game.”

“Eh?”

“He better not be doing what I think he wants to do.” Sero said, slowly creeping away from Kaminari and planning an escape route.

“He is.” Izuku said, sipping at his cocoa. “Two steps ahead though.” Izuku slipped on an All Might winter coat.

“-we're fighting with this!” Bakugo  growled, throwing a snowball straight onto Kaminari's face, making him fall backward.

“Hey! That wasn't fair!” Mina yelled, puffing her cheeks.

“Yea!” Sero chimed. Izuku paled.

“Whoever said there's fairness in a fight?” Bakugo said, crouching to gather more snow. “Then again, this is war! Die!”

The common room was then filled with screams, Sero placing some tape near him to prevent the snow from hitting him while Mina used her acid to burn the ice to water.

Meanwhile Izuku sat behind the kitchen counter enjoying his cocoa.

The earful the five were about to get from their teacher.

But then again, everything always worked out in the end.

“Hey Izuku!” Katsuki yelled, almost making Izuku drop his mug.

“Yea?” Izuku replied, realizing Katsuki had managed to knock out Mina and Sero.

“Thanks and,” Katsuki slowly trembled. “Suki.” Izuku flushed.

“T-thanks was very unfair.” Izuku said, slumping on the kitchen counter while hearing Katsuki chuckle.

Unfair, but then again didn't he sign up for it?

[penroseparticle]

I wasn’t going to do it, but Diebrarian said she was tagging ME and called me handsome and as a true Leo that’s all I needed. Meme time!

Name: Colton

Gender: Tragically a dude.

Star sign: Leo, as the legends foretold.

Height: 6′1″

Age: 27

Sexuality: The gayest of bi’s.

House: Huff Pride

What image do you have as your wallpaper [phone lock/homescreen and laptop]

Lockscreen: I’ve been agressively called out by this meme, all three are default backgrounds. like factory reset defaults. I gotta personalize my stuff.

Homescreen: I’ve been agressively called out by this meme, all three are default backgrounds. like factory reset defaults. I gotta personalize my stuff.

Desktop background: I’ve been agressively called out by this meme, all three are default backgrounds. like factory reset defaults. I gotta personalize my stuff.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: Sadly, tragically, yes. Literally how I found out I liked dudes. SAD.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years: I actually like where I’m at? But with more vacations. Ideally I’m married, and maybe I have kids.

If you could be anywhere else right now where would you go: Chicago is probably always where my heart is. But maybe something like Washington State.

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: I’m really lazy with halloween costumes- I pretty much go as a lumberjack every year. I did go as a cop once but everyone thought I was a stripper cop because the costume barely fit. I was not amused. Josh put a dollar down my pants.

What was your fave 90s show: Friends, Family Matters, and Legends of the Hidden Temple. Oh also that Carmen Sandiego game show.

Last kiss: *sweats nervously* uh two days ago?

Have you ever been stood up?: Yeah actually. You get used to it.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Nope! Too hot, not planning to.

Favorite pair of shoes: I literally own about 30 pairs of shoes and I cycle through what I like best but right now it’s my blue and leather Creative Recreation casual shoes. Ask me tomorrow and it might be a pair of Converse.

Favorite fruit: Uh... maybe strawberries? maybe mangoes. maybe kiwis. maybe raspberries. One of those 4. I’m getting more into fruits as I get older.

Favorite book: The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. I used to have a first print run copy of it.

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: I got myself locked in a locker in middle school once. It was during gym class.

Last movie you saw in theatres: Love, Simon. it was great.

Relationship status: So, so single. Hit me up!

Favorite color: Purple

Something you just remembered: The monthly quests for April just came out in FEH I should get those done

Last song you listened to: Handlebars by Flobots

Last movie I watched: Love Simon. If we’re talking not in theatres, it was 4th Man Out again.

Top 3 bands/singers: My current top 3 is Young Empires, Glass Animals, Beyonce. This is of course open to interpretations.

Top 3 tv shows: I watch Grey’s Anatomy with my mom and you’ll pry that from my cold dead hands. I really love The Good Place right now as well- other than that, maybe New Girl?

Books I’m currently reading: I’m still working on the 2016 O Henry prize winners collection. I’m also partway through American Gods, and am always rereading Welcome to the Monkeyhouse (The collection, not the garbage short story)

[sweetnestor]

12 Days | Chapter 2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

“I really think you overworked yourself this time,” said a soft, yet clear female voice. “Maybe you should have slept instead of working at the office all night.”

Tom wasn’t sure how long this girl had been speaking. All he knew was that he was in a car with her, and she was driving him to… he didn’t know where. Probably missed that in the midst of all the panic. He barely even got a look at her, so he turned his head to the driver and, well…

He recognized the shiny black hair that faded to a vibrant pink. Her side profile was oddly familiar. This was Bella, right? The girl who the people at “the office” were talking about. Tom knew her from somewhere, he just couldn’t pinpoint where. For some reason, he had to look at her until he figured it out.

She noticed his staring and glanced at him before turning back to the road. She seemed very concerned for this Ethan guy. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Yes, actually. I think I switched places with your friend and I don’t know where I am or how to switch back. That’ll land Tom in the hospital for sure. He didn’t need to be locked away in the psych ward, he just had to find out how this happened. In the meantime, all he could do was go along with what this girl was saying.

“I-It’s probably what you said,” he replied, breaking the gaze. “Overworked myself.” He pulled out his - or Ethan’s - phone and one look at the lockscreen made it click.

Bella is his girlfriend.

“Yeah, next time,” she continued, “let’s not go right back to editing after a convention. I know you’re passionate about YouTube, but you need a break just as much as anyone else does. And besides, Mark has two editors for a reason, Kathryn could have taken over if you were really that exhausted.”

“Right, got it.” Tom hesitated. Maybe he could still play off being disoriented from the panic attack. “Um, love… do you happen to remember my, my passcode?”

She chuckled. “Is it not your thumbprint, my dear?”

Well, shit. Now I’ll never know who’s body I’m possessing. This is useless, I’m stuck-

Again, it clicked. Tom pressed the button, mentally kicking himself. Before he could dig around and find more information, the car came to halt in front of an apartment complex. Was this the place Ethan shared with Bella?

He got out of the car and followed her into the building. This was so strange, he shouldn't have been here. He was supposed to be in his own body, on a plane to Atlanta.

“Chamomile?” Bella offered as she unlocked the door to the apartment.

“Yeah… please,” Tom replied.

While she dove into the kitchen, he looked around at the place. Things were scattered here and there. However, he noticed 2 large plaques on the wall and went to look at them.

They were identical play buttons in large frames, one was silver and the other was gold. They both read “Bella Santiago, Congratulations for surpassing ______ Subscribers.” The silver was for one hundred thousand and the other was for one million. This girl was popular on YouTube, apparently. Tom didn't quite understand that.

Wait. YouTube. Pink hair. Blue hair.

Tom gasped just as Bella approached him again, this time with a mug of tea. She raised her eyebrows at his miniature burst.

“What's wrong?” she asked.

You interviewed me. I know you.

“Nothing,” he replied as he accepted the mug.

She chuckled. “Come on, cariño. Let's go lie down. Or… would you rather I just take you home?”

So this wasn't a shared place. Why were there two bedrooms, then? Tom was very confused, and that was already an understatement.

He had to find out more about Ethan, and where exactly they both were, so Tom decided to let Bella take him ‘home’ after he finished his tea.

It didn’t have any calming affect on him. It was even worse when Bella leaned in to kiss him when she walked him to the front door. Tom instinctively leaned back in shock, his eyes wide. He was the boyfriend.

After that awkward interaction, Bella unlocked the door for him, since Tom left Ethan’s keys at the office. His girlfriend didn’t seem too pleased when she left, but there were other things to think about at the moment.

Tom wandered around the apartment, glancing at all of Ethan’s belongings before pulling out his phone again. With a press of a button, it was unlocked again, and Tom began to properly snoop through this guy’s social media. What kind of life was this Ethan person living? Besides having a hot girlfriend and an office job, of course.

Instagram name: CrankGameplays. Still don't know his surname. Bio: “I scream at the video games.” Helpful. Tom scrolled through Ethan’s profile, only seeing the face that he now owned. Although, the first picture he saw was of him wearing a red wig, making a silly pose with a woman with black hair. He’s seen worse. The next one that caught his eye was of Ethan posing in front of a huge screen. His head covered most of it, but Tom could make out the words: Markiplier’s You're Welcome Tour.

So… he's a comedian? Is he in an improv group?

Tom left that app and went to Twitter. Ethan's profile was mainly a bunch of tweets with links to YouTube videos. Did he do this alongside the office job? Or… was this the office job? He tapped on one of the links.

“What is up my cranky crew? It's Ethan from CrankGameplays, and today we are back with ‘Little Nightmares!’” said the real Ethan in the video.

Growing impatient, Tom skipped forward a few minutes, only seeing the guy play some horror game. That's all this 45 minute video was. He looked at other videos of his, and they were all the same. Playing video games. This is what he did for a living? Tom had so many questions, but most of all, he just had to know how to contact the real Ethan.

He went back to Twitter and searched his own handle. As expected, there were no new tweets. Of course he couldn't send a direct message to this account either because they weren't following each other.

Tom went back to the homescreen, thinking. If everything in his actual schedule went according to plan, then his actual self should be in Atlanta right now. So if he was still in the States, then that meant he had his America phone…

~

The only reason Ethan had decided to play along, to 'take the role' as Tom was that, well, he had no choice. It was either pretend he was Tom and nothing was wrong or spill the beans and risk getting put in the hospital for a week. Also, the car was at least a way out of this hotel room that was increasing his anxiety by the minute.

He'd underestimated the severity of his sickness though. He was sure he was hungover now, judging by the way he couldn't stop sweating and the way his stomach kept flipping. He stepped into the car with every intention to make them turn around and take him home, but was knocked out as soon as he felt the unusually comfortable leather seats. So much for going back home.

He woke up long enough to stumble onto a plane with the help of Harrison, completely in a daze that he couldn't quite shake. "Jeez Tom, you fat lard," Harrison mumbled as he carried the majority of Ethan's weight.

Ethan was barely able to groan in response.

He was nudged awake a little while later. "Come on, you've got to drink this," Harrison whispered as he shoved a glass of water into Ethan's hands.

His sight was blurry, but that glass of water was a sight for sore eyes. His cotton mouth was horrendous and his throats felt raw and scratchy. Two pills were shoved into his palm. Without even asking what they were he popped them in his mouth, finished off his glass, and fell right back asleep.

He woke up once more while on the plane, approximately 40,000 feet in the air on its way to Atlanta. The light streamed in through the half open window next to Ethan, effectively blinding him as Harrison sat down in the seat next to him.

"Rise and shine sleepy beauty! Up for good now, or have you still got some sleep left in ya?" Harrison clapped his hand onto Ethan's knee.

Fuck, so it hadn't just been a bad dream.

"Jesus Christ, why are you yelling?" Ethan mumbled, covering his eyes with his palms as he stretched.

"I'm not, you're just still bombed from last night," he snickered.

Ethan groaned, he doesn't even know who this guy is, much less why he's on a plane or where he's going. "How much longer?" He murmurs, eyes still squinting as the sun beamed onto him.

"We land in 20 minutes. You slept through a 4 hour flight, there's no way you're getting any sleep tonight."

Ethan's blood ran cold. 4 hours?! The flight to Maine is almost 5, where the heck was he going?

"Oh good, you're up." A blonde woman walked into the room and sat in the seat facing him. "Feel any better?"

"Uh yeah, yeah. Guess I just needed some more rest," Ethan tried his best not to stammer, how would Tom act in this situation?

"I bet, you were hitting those drinks pretty hard last night," she laughed as she pulled out her tablet.

"Yeah, my bad," Ethan chuckles nervously. He can't help but wonder if he looks as nervous as he feels. Can they hear how fast his heart is beating?

"Alright, so here's the plan for today. We land in about 20 minutes, then you and Haz can stay in your hotel rooms for about an hour or so. You've got a meeting with the Chaos Walking crew at 3, so be down in the lobby by 2:30. After that you've got a few interviews at 5, they shouldn't take very long though. Dinner afterwards and then we’ll be back on the plane by 10." The words flowing out of her mouth just served as a smack in the face for Ethan. He's going to do what and go where at what time?

"Uhh," the blank face on his face pulled a laugh out of 'Haz', is his name not Harrison?, and the woman in front of him. "Run that by me once more?"

"No need, as long as Haz knows the schedule you'll be fine. I'll be there too," she said with a shrug. Ethan slowly began taking in her features as she and Haz began discussing something about the schedule.

Shoulder length blonde hair, curled at the ends. Blue eyes, a pair of glasses resting in her hair. She didn't look like she was taller than Ethan, although it's had to tell from where he's sitting. A name catches his interest. Olivia. She must be his agent or manager or whatever those people that tell you what to do are called. She seemed nice.

Ethan spent the last 10 minutes of the ride staring at his shoes.

Another rush of anxiety passed through him while exiting the airport, he was getting used to these. Holy shit, was he going to have to interact with all of the fans waiting outside? Sure, he's interacted with fans in the past, but never on a scale this large outside of a convention. He didn't even know what Tom's signature looked like!

"You up for a few pictures?" Olivia asked. Ethan shook his head, no, not in a million years. "Figured, you look a mess."

Well thanks. The security guards pushed past the group of fans outside, the look on Ethan's face a mixture of excitement and terror. So this is what being swarmed feels like.

The car ride was quiet, Harrison and Olivia chatted the whole ride while Ethan was just content to look out the window. He calmed down a bit, feeling ok for the first time all day. Harrison led him up the elevator and to their rooms.

"Oh, by the way, here's your phone," he said right before Ethan walked into his room. "I grabbed it back in LA before we left. I'm surprised you haven't asked for it yet," he said with a chuckle.

"Ah, thanks," Ethan nodded at him, mustering up a small smile and quickly locking the door behind him.

As if on cue, the phone in his hand started to ring. The panic that runs through his body is cut short, that's his phone number! “Hello?” He answers, still not used to the sound of his voice.

“Hello!” Tom said, nearly jumping at his own voice. “Hi, hello!” He was so antsy about what he would hear on the other line that his mind immediately went blank. What was he supposed to say now?

There was a silence then, an uncomfortable one. Unsure of what to say Ethan blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Is this… Ethan’s… body?” Stupid, what kind of question was that?

“That depends,” he replied slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “Is this… is this Tom?” His heart was beating unnecessarily hard.

“Uh, yeah?” Ethan let out a sigh of relief, “I'm not crazy right? Something really fucked up is going on, right?”

“Definitely.” Tom leaned forward in his seat, trying to form any sort of coherent sentence. “God, I have so many questions… I - er, how the fuck did this happen?”

“No fucking idea, god this feels like a nightmare, no offense,” Ethan whispered before he made his way to hide in a closet. “Just kinda woke up in a strange hotel room in someone else’s body. By the way, thanks for the killer hangover. I was sweating and slept the whole time I was on that plane ride dude.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “A hangover is probably nothing compared to what you were shooting up last night. Yeah, I saw those needles in your pocket. I swear to god, I thought I was high when I looked in the mirror.”

“...You mean my epipens?” Ethan wanted to laugh, this fucker really thought he'd just be shooting up in the office? Yet another reason to hate Tom Holland. “Anyway, hi nice to meet you. Ethan Nestor, professional screamer and deathly allergic to peanuts at your service.”

Tom covered his mouth. “Sorry, mate. My bad… Er, hi, I’m Tom Holland, professional actor and still very confused as to what happened to us.” Wow, he felt like an asshole.

Professional actor, what a narcissist. Professional screamer sounds way cooler anyway. Ethan laughs, “Well don't be too humble now.” Was Ethan actually salty about Tom taking pride in his work? No. Was he still salty about Bella’s googoo eyes for him? Hell fuckin’ yeah.

“Hey, my acting was able to save your ass and have a panic attack to get the day off from your job,” Tom shot back. Yes, the panic attack was real, but it did buy them some time. “If I was still at… your office place, then we wouldn’t be here trying to figure this out.”

“Well I'm not even a professional actor, and I'm able to pass as you no problem?” Ethan shot back. There's no reason for this to be happening, he should be playing nice. It's not like it's Tom’s fault this is happening, but Ethan can't help himself. “Some ‘career’ this is,” he continued, kinda regretting what he said but also kinda meaning it.

Oh god, Tom swapped lives with a grade A asshole. What did Bella see in this guy? He shook his head, trying to bring back the main focus of this conversation. “Okay, you can sit there and take jabs at me, or we can try to… switch back…? And then we’ll never have to see each other again. Take your pick.”

Ethan hesitated, he still had more to say that's for sure, but Tom was right. This wasn't getting them anywhere. “Whatever, something had to have happened at the convention to cause all this,” Ethan said with a sigh as he racked his brain for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing.

“Right,” Tom agreed. “I remember seeing you. You were with Bella when she interviewed me. Do you think something happened there?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, I didn't feel any different afterwards when I was with Bella in the bathroom… Nothing felt different until the next morning?” Ethan was stumped. The convention went about like every other convention he'd ever been to. What made this one different?

“In the bathroom?” Tom repeated with a chuckle. “Quite an eager beaver, aren’t we?”

“Oh my- no, not that way! God you British and your awful humor,” Ethan stifles a laugh as he rolls his eyes. “No, if you must know, you literally gave my girlfriend an anxiety attack and I had to calm her down in the bathroom.”

That changed things. Tom didn’t know how to react at first. He didn’t know much about anxiety attacks, even after experiencing one himself not that long ago. “Shit. I’m sorry, man. Did I say something to make her… like that?”

“Sorta, it was mostly just the whole situation? I don't know, she's fine don't worry about it. Just, careful what you say, okay? She's been through… a lot.” Ethan's face and mood dropped. He missed Bella. A lot.

An awkward silence filled the air. He wasn’t good with things like this, he didn’t know how to console people with a tragic past, if that’s what Ethan was implying about his girlfriend. “Well,” Tom began, “she seemed… relatively normal when I was with her just now. She was worried about you. Actually, you had a few people worry about you.”

Aww, they care. “Yeah, they're great…” How many awkward silences are gonna happen throughout the duration of one phone call? Ethan didn't know what else to say. Thankfully, he didn't have to.

“Tom, are you back in the closet?” Harrison called out. “Didn't think you'd be back in there again,” he joked. Shit, how did he get in? Hadn't he locked the door?

“Uh, yeah, gotta go Tom, I'll call back later?” Ethan said wondering what happened to the so called hour of a downtime he was promised.

“I - alright,” the real Tom replied, feeling the sinking sensation in his stomach. He barely made out the sound of his friend’s voice on the other line. Now, he had to go on without him for the time being.

“Ok bye,” Ethan replied. Back to the real, bizarre world.

______

tag list: @marie-is-in-the-dark @beardedsteveslut

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next

[joannabethharvelle]

Tag Game

Tag Game

Tagged by @faiththesinfulslayer

Tag 10 followers you want to know better.

Name:

IC: Joanna (Jo)

OOC: Katie

Gender:

IC: Female

OOC: Female

Sign:

IC: Aries

OOC: Libra

Height:

IC: 5′4

OOC: 5′9″

Sexuality:

IC: Demisexual

OOC: Yes

What images do you have as your home screen and lock screen:

IC: LockScreen: depends on the verse and the day, tbh  Homescreen: Same as lockscreen

OOC: LockScreen: Me and my best friend back home , HomeScreen: Roy Mustang, Hawkeye, and Maes Hughes’ fine asses.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

IC: Nope! She only had three or four in total, anyway.

OOC: hahahahahahaha uh >.>

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

IC: Hopefully getting to the end of those 10 years

OOC: If I’m not on working on a set then I’d better be dead

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

IC: Home. Even if it doesn’t exist yet.

OOC: I moved to exactly where I wanted to be

What was your coolest Halloween costume?

IC: If you think Jo is at a halloween costume party on Halloween then you don’t know Jo

OOC: Can’t pick.

Favorite 90s show?

IC: They didn’t get much tv but she was a fan of X-Files, Buffy, and Cheers.

OOC: fuck lmfao idk man i grew up on that. probably Fresh Prince, Cheers, X-Files, Friends, That 70′s Show, Seinfeld, the list goes oooon.

Who was your last kiss?

IC: Depends on the verse. She doesn’t go around kissing a lot of people, though, so whoever it was with was either very important or not at all.

OOC: Bet you’d like to know

Have you ever been stood up?

IC: Yes! 

OOC: Nope

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?

IC: Yes

OOC: Yes

Favorite pair of shoes?

IC: She’s got a great pair of combat boots that actually look really cute and are exactly as functional as she needs them to be.

OOC: All of my high heels because they’re fucking killer and my Blundies

Favorite fruit?

IC: Pomegranate 

OOC: Pineapple or Mango

Tagging: Annnnybody and everybody!