#yes i was feeling this today okay
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Reunion
#meadowart#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#sifloop#i finished my second playthrough today#got 2hats obviously#and they made me ill again#couldn't stop thinking about their postgame meeting. i think it'd be pretty emotional at first. but once they processed everything they'd#just cling to each other and have a moment. maybe a long tender talk too#Sif looks different bc it's somewhat late postgame?? and i can't not think about Loop pointing out his change and feeling bitter because#they'll never get to change#(they will but they have to go through some thinking first okay)#hell yes i managed to load this#and even recovered the tags
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whoever needs to hear this: if you got a disability, if you don’t know if you have something, if you ever think “it’s not that bad” if you have a thing about guilt, if you’re ill, Anything: listen. it is okay to throw things away.
you can throw it away. if it sucks and it stresses you the fuck out, if you just “need the right time to fix it” for the past 3 months. or years. if you loved it once upon a time but it makes you feel kinda weird and guilty now. if it’s a jacket youve reaaaally been meaning to mend and then donate. a jar of sauce that “all you have to do” is clean out to recycle but it’s been a week and now there’s a small colony growing in it. slowly shredding to bits fabric scraps you plan to use to fix something. busted picture frame. cracked mug. old shoes. extra box. an entire pack of granola bars that you hate so much but don’t want to waste.
life is already so goddamn difficult for us. i know you still care about recycling and the environment and sustainability. but it’s okay, i promise. sometimes you have to take care of your space. sometimes you have to cut your losses so you can actually have energy to recycle the next thing. get rid of the old shirt before it turns into a tornado pile of guilt under the bed. you’re not a bad person. you can throw this one away.
#idk if marie kondo talked about trash in this way but i do remember something about her philosophy helping me with the guilt aspect of this#like the ability to thank something for the service it provided you but recognize that you’ve grown beyond it. yes even for dumb tshirts#feeling very chatty today lol.#text#disability#uhhh idk what else to tag#cleaning#environmentalism is one of my great passions#but everyone has to recognize they cannot be activists 100% of the time and do the right thing 100% of the time#using my iphone to post this is one of those things. buying something from amazon bc i can’t make myself go to the store is one.#sometimes one must preserve themself simply in the name of preservation. take care of your space bc that’s where you do You.#and sometimes objects accumulate in said space and just get this awful sickly aura. metaphorically#where you can’t deal with it so you shove it somewhere else. but it’s okay to get rid of shit that sucks
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"I'll make a ton of cash, and leave this place."
TAIKAN YOHOU (2023). EPISODE TWO.
#taikan yohou#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#jdramasource#tvedit#toxicgaysource#*#faiza gifs#GOD I NEED MEAT LIKE THIS TO BITE AND CHEW AND SINK MY TEETH INTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!#GIVE ME THIS AGAIN OH GOD PLEASE.#ughhhhhh the WAY these 2 are just having 2 ENTIRELY different conversations in the first few episodes ITS JUST SO DELICIOUS.#how yoh just feels like he's being Used for something he doesnt even KNOW what it is?????? but he WANTS itttt????? and yet is disgusted#with it toooooooo???? whilst segasaki just thinks they're OKAY? they're FINE? that this arrangement of theirs is NORMAL?#like. MY GOD. SO MUCH TO UNPACK SO MUCH TO CLAW MY FINGERS INTOOOOOOOOOOO.#japan GIVE ME THIS AGAINNNNNNNNN.#but no YES going off from my tags on a reblog from earlier today.#it just. BAFFLES me. how people thought/think that this show is meant to just be??? a light hearted romcom? like???????????? WHEREEEEEEEEE?#WHEREEEEEEEEEEE??? HOWWWW where people SO surprised by segasaki's toxicity and their unhealthy romantic codependency????#WHEN IT HAS BEEN HINTED AT SINCE EP 1 ALL ALONG! how did people MISS it? idgi? at all!
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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Hello yes, art? Deadpool art? Deadpool art and three am?
Yea
(Refs/bases under cut)
#logan took both these photos when wade didn't relise#okay its three am but i was outside at 11pm and then watched aome shit but#i got inspired by one of the photos i took tonight#and one from yesterday#dark photo is from today#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#poolverine#logan#logan howlett#wade#wade wilson#deadclaws#wolverine x deadpool#deadpool x wolverine#logan howlett x wade wilson#wade wilson x logan howlett#yeah the bases are photos of myself sue me i think they're pretty#ignore the ugly ass tshirt on the second one#feel free to use the refs just like tag me in the comments or credit me or something so i can see the art that is made!#yes i did bring a wolverine comic out with me at 11pm in the dark and yes its in rhe first photo
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The original Megaman Classic games: Hehe youre a hero robot who runs around and beats up evil robots and saves the day :)
Megaman Classic spinoffs and fan material:
#megaman classic#this post is about the archie comics and megamix/gigamix and super adventure rockman#as well as the protomen and the megas#im specifically having protomen brainrot today tho#but like. hear me out.#yes they get dark but like??? its in such a respectful way that doesnt feel edgy or grimdark#... protomen kinda borders edgy and grimdark ngl buT THATS OKAY#because protomen edge still respects some really interesting dynamics between light+wily and rock+blues#ugh listening to act ii is SO tragic knowing how act i ends but like theyre such good tragedies#i think thats a good way to describe protomen. edgy but beautiful tragedy instead of pointless grimdark.
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.besties help im having a moment again
#Robin processes emotions on main#yes i know i logged out. im back. just for this. because of the Nerves#so ok explanation. my college friend is visiting today#in person. we're in person friends. thumbs up. I used to see her once a week#and I'm so nervous about seeing this friend im driving myself CRAZYYY. it is NOT good for me to live w my parents#AUGH#i dont...... i don't wanna do this todayyy#I'm not physically up to going out today but also I'm not good at interacting with friends while in my parents' house. weeps.#I revert into the most anxious quiet and unhelpful child when I have her over at this house aughhhhh#IT'S NOT ANYONE'S FAULT EITHER it's just my stupid. brain and habits or something. I feel terrible about it though#I want to be a better friend but I just dont. have the capability rn#okay. okay. im going to have breakfast and then shower and then clean up my room#wait no first I'm going to text her#hnnnnng
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2023 Dutch Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen & Pierre Gasly)
#GUYS I AM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY TODAY AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH#LETS GOOOOOO BACK ON THE PODIUM!!!!!!!!!#ive done enough live blogging that sums up my feelings hahaha so i should refrain here#i think that was def my fav race of the season(other than bahrain prob hehehe)#but god what a fantastic race!! yes i cried a bit#like everyone was overtaking and there was such good racing up and down the field and it felt so close#thank you to the rain!!!!!#i need a nando overtak count bcs my god he was actually insane this race#like that first lap double overtake?????? okay????? go off king!!!!!!!#but aaaahhhhh everyone was so happy for himmmmmmmm#like hugging him and chanting his name and cheering!! AS HE DESERVESSSSSSSS#the green background of the podium...it was foreshadowing#im still on my caffiene high from rb so im so sorry to all my mutuals for all the caps and screaming and tambling BUT IT IS A GREAT DAY#i kinda wanna clip some parts of his interview cause he was very cute and happy and silly today hehehe#fernando alonso#f1#formula one#formula 1#fa14#max verstappen#aston martin#pierre gasly#2023 dutch gp#2023 dutch grand prix#we do a little bit of f1
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my favorite scully moments from s2
after the x-files are shut down, she gets moved to teach at the academy, and in episode 1 she does a little monologue on how a person’s body is a physical manifestation of a lifetime, which one of the students describes as “spooky”
when mulder sneaks off to puerto rico in the same episode, she goes into his place to try and figure where tf he went, and prevents his sneaking about being caught by the investigators who broke into his home with the power of feeding his fish
lecturing about the dangers of eating raw steak in episode 2, then getting lost down a rabbit hole of worm science
when no one was answering the door in episode 3, she just walks in. this made me laugh hysterically, i cannot explain. both of these guys WILL enter your home.
every single time she is a bit of a medical nerd, like when she learns about the surgery that allowed people to survive without sleep in episode 4, which she describes as “incredible”
(and the freckles + flower earrings combo were also a fave)
when she scans the piece of metal that came from duane barry in a grocery store in episode 6, and the cash register goes crazy. and she denies involvement and just walks away LMAOOO <- honestly i'd do the same!!
she wakes up from her coma in episode 8 and wants to write a thank you note to the nurse that took such good care of her, only to learn no such nurse ever existed. scully got to witness the paranormal for once!!!!
in episode 9, someone brings up a volcano scientist in conversation, and she says she had heard he was brilliant, which means that somehow she is keeping up with volcano news. she is a woman of many layers.
being deeply worried about this scared looking grad student she just met, and once again not waiting for an answer to enter her room and figure out if she is okay
(and when said grad student is being consumed by a fungus, scully thinks quickly enough to get herself locked behind a door, keeping herself safe, despite being handcuffed and otherwise looking death by fungus in the face)
in episode 11, mulder walks into his office, only to learn she has been there and has been going through his stuff since 6 in the morning. queen of getting results!
in the same episode, an old man overdoses on mushroom pills, and she shifts into Doctor Mode, yelling about “ventricular fibrillation” and “milligrams of lidocaine” and it was, like every other time she goes Doctor Mode, so deeply satisfying to watch
when she meets the two cops in episode 12, and can immediately tell they are having an affair and that the detective is pregnant, and despite the detective pleading with her not to tell a soul, the absolute MILLISECOND she is reunited with mulder, she spills the tea. and he is SHOCKED! <- arguably my favorite moment in the entire series so far
(and, to make the woman feel more comfortable, she confesses to also having had feelings for coworkers before which. elaborate on that, please)
but she really does care; when the detective ends up in the hospital, scully brings her a change of clothing <3
when she is so shaken by what she sees in episode 13 that she goes to the FBI’s onsite therapist; she’s too scared to tell mulder how she feels because “i don’t want him to feel like he has to protect me”
(as if there was ever going to be a choice; he is the protector and he Will protect, it's just his nature)
((and then later sobbing into his arms, realizing she doesn’t have to always put on a front))
toads start falling from the sky in episode 14, so she rationalizes that they likely came from a nearby tornado. this is a scully-approved theory.
they’re investigating a murder in the same episode, and a teenager starts pouring her absolutely horrific trauma out to both of them, scully holds her while she sobs into her jacket
honestly any time either of them know weird information, i love it. she says that it would take hours for a snake to eat a man and then weeks for it to digest in episode 14, and mulder makes some funny remark but it’s sooo endearing to me. she knows her snake facts.
then in episode 15, she notes poison in someone’s blood, but specifically that the poison comes from pufferfish eaten in Japan… girl i’m crying, she just knows stuff!
during that same case, they get rooms near each other like always, and she knocks on a door thinking it’s mulder’s. he doesn’t answer. she walks in and hears water running, so she just talks to him through the door to the bathroom. and i love this so much. i love that they are close enough to just walk into each other’s rooms and talk from behind the door while the other showers. it’s such married behavior.
working on the case in episode 16, we see her at home wearing a flannel, checking her computer, still serving looks but now giving casual
(and seeing the art she keeps on her walls- little postcards of beach scenes <3)
in the same episode, she knows mulder left to go get himself in trouble, so she bursts into skinner’s office to ask for help. but she feels bad for barging in on skinner, so she apologizes to him. which was very sweet.
when mulder is gone, she goes to his apartment to look for clues, and falls asleep on his couch
(and when X knocks on the door, she knows he is hiding something, and screams at him to tell her where he is)
this whole monologue from episode 17, which i loved more than life itself:
“several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena. but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them. many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, and to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it”
(and that is just Her, isn't it? the need to understand, to rationalize. the worldview shaped on science- if she doesn't understand something, it's because a key piece is missing, and she'll find it. because the world Has to work that way, has to be bound by a greater logic, even if it is yet to be understood. to imagine otherwise would be impossible, to imagine otherwise would be to abandon hope in everything, and she cannot abandon hope)
((and maybe the idea that the world being something she cannot perfectly comprehend is a failing of her own understanding makes me a little emotional. but still))
she says that the whole loaves and fishes deal was a parable in episode 21; she is not a biblical literalist
(she then makes some sassy remark about things generating spontaneously, and mulder laughs in the corner. good to know he thinks she is funny)
every single time she answers the phone, she says “mulder, it’s me”, and idk i just think it’s so endearing
she thinks she might have been infected with a killer disease in episode 22, but mulder calls, so she tells him she’s okay and to take care of himself out there.... those are the last words she chooses, just in case they never talk again </3
and every time she says unsettling things, like “could be the residue of burnt human flesh” or “darkness covers a multitude of sins”, both in episode 23, i eat that up
reassuring her student who has just become a detective that she is doing just fine!!!
and then going to said student's funeral when things do not turn out fine... she loves her students that she taught for like 3 months so much :(
getting pulled aside by skinner and her bosses after mulder just acted wild in episode 25, and denying that she had seen any top secret files even though they say they will fire her if she lies lmaooo <- she is a ride or die!!!
but also going to his place, demanding assurance that she is doing the right thing by assisting him, and i love that. i love a character who will break all of the rules as long as they believe they are doing the thing that is morally Right, and that definition is so deeply her own, but she is committed to it, and she'll do anything to stick by it. and he just says something about getting the code that he wants broken, and despite how awful he's being, she goes through with it anyway because it's the Right thing to do.
later, her being the one to realize that mulder should not leave the house after his father was killed because he will be the prime suspect (he does not listen to this sound advice)
he stumbles into her place with a million degree fever, and she carefully lays him down in her own bed, despite the fact that he is soaked in his dead father's blood. and she takes care of him.
this one honestly deserves its own post because it is so incredible, but: shooting mulder with enough precision to get him to knock off his wild behavior that was going to make him look like he killed his dad, but not actually HURT him, then finding out krychek was putting LSD in his water, knocking him out, and driving 2 days to New Mexico to get him where he needed to be. AFTER he had been acting wild because he was inadvertently drugged, and had accused her of spying on him and being a traitor. that level of love is deep. very very deep. she is a Lover.
#this is a reupload because i made a typo on the og post and i couldn't bear it so. v2. sorry to all who witnessed v1.#i'm trying to remember what i had said in the tags originally.#something about how she is just one of the characters of all time#she's smart... like when she figured out how to save mulder from alien poison or that he was going to make himself look guilty#and she's kind- when she let some random kid sob into her jacket and brought the detective clothes and tended to drugged out mulder#and she is brave- being willing to disobey her bosses to do the right thing and shoot mulder to save him and admit when she is scared#(even though she originally would not do such a thing- that is character development)#and she is funny but it's dry and understated so it doesn't get the appreciation it deserves#yes this whole post and tags are just a dana scully love post and that is okay. in many ways this is a love account.#hope to start s3 tomorrow because i'm not feeling well today but who knows... maybe i will suddenly perk up and feel better#and we can get started tn? can't rule it out i guess#dana scully#the x files#txf
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this is how 'the squip enters' actually went, because @shadowspirez and I say so
look at them gays, they're such idiots <33
#hi shadow!!!#be more chill#the squip#squip#jeremy heere#squipemy#jeresquip#me doing art#(don't mind how poorly this is drawn)#(I felt a bit lazy today. my bad)#this is lowkey just to piss off the antis and the people vagueposting#and I know that yes#it makes me a hypocrite to vaguepost about vagueposters#sorry bout that#(on a serious note though. I am trying to piss off people who literally go out of their way to hate on others for literal FICTIONAL ships)#(if you don't like/feel uncomfortable with squipemy that's totally okay!! I will not force you to interact with anything I do!!)#(just don't be a dick because someone ships something you don't like)#(go and touch grass)
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Again - Bez needs physical contact (according to the Bez episode of Migno's podcast - didnt watched it yet but saw it somewhere)
Now please consider this: He was properly to nervous to establish first physical contact with Vale in the early stages of being in the academy (relatable). But maybe he was already more comfortable with the other boys, Franky, Pecco, Cele, Luca, and Vale noticed. And realized what's going on. (Or he didn't and was worried that Bez didn't felt safe around him) So he started the physical contact for Bez to make sure he knows that he's okay with it
#Let me have a softie moment#Okay#Like we see how he gives hugs#those are all bez emotion but as a 17 year old you probably wouldnt dare to touch/ hug your idol like that without permission#Like Bez wanted Vale to like him-#He couldnt be 110% fanboy#And Vale was like... Yeah no we don't do this whole trying to act cool when you need physical contact so come here#welcome to rays headcanons#on todays episode#motogp#valentino rossi#vr46 academy#marco bezzecchi#yes I do believe the academy aims to teach and make them feel safe#you are welcome to fuck off if you disagree#I can and will eloborate on that if you want#I MEAN FUCKING LOOK AT THEM
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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i wish dragon age had as big of a modding community as like skyrim does bc god do i desperate wish i could download a collection of 50gb of mods from the nexus that fixes how broken origin is while making it prettier and fixing whatever the fuck is going on w the romance scenes
it would even be worth sorting through all of the horny boob mods
#yes i redownloaded all three da games today in a moment of weakness OKAY#tomorrow i will attempt to mod dao and brainstorm my warden as i do so#i think i might go aeducan or brosca? i kinda want to try out a fighter and see if i like it at all bc idk if i would in either other games#and i kinda want this world state to each be a different race + class combo for funsies#so i'm thinking dwarf/fighter + human/mage + qunari/rogue#dai is my fave game to play a mage in but i really want to play a qunari and i feel like there aren't any good qunari mage armors iirc? but#it's been forever so i could be mistaken#i'll fuck around and see if there's any good mods before i make my decision i suppose#*dykeposting
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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Not gonna lie, I saw somebody say polycule? no, poly ecosystem and my first thought was what you had going on here because like, everyone is connected somehow, some way, different connection for each individual but still has a place in the whole group and there's an "Apex Predator" wherein, oh, you can take them away, sure, but it Will change up the dynamics a lot because they're intrinsically connected with each one even if there doesn't look to be a solid line between them because their very existence helps keep the balance just by being there.
Poly-game of Mikado, pull out one stick and the rest teeter on the brink.
#I like that idea tho! And I'm glad I thought of me lol#Certain members maybe aren't load-bearing but they have a domino effect ON the load-bearing ones.#Things function okay without Mikan in theory but ibuki and hiyoko both get antsy#Which makes everyone else on edge#And then yknow. Hajime is The load bearing structure#If Impostor leaves for too long everyone feels it#Etc etc. I like it!#The survivors are a small cluster of Hard To Separate#not an art#talky talky tuesday#Yes I am reviving it for today#Let's go#Before I drive myself insane thinking of my Stories
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good morning friendz and happy wednesday !! i hope that the sunshine kisses your pretty faces and that the day treats you with the upmost kindness !! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) 🤍
#^ this is me slow blinking at you all btw#doing a quick lil yap this morning !!! bc !!#aaaaah i am :( mushy :( !#today i promise to get to everyone who said such sweet things to me yesterday#i had been feeling a little down about my place here and it was such a wonderful reminder that yes :( i am loved by those around me :( !!!#sometimes brains love to lie to us and tell us something different so when those little games go around & i see everyone saying kind things#to each other .. it makes me feel so warm & happy#all of you deserve the love and gentleness you give out !! tenfold !!!!!!!#okay i must lock into work for awhile this morning but ill be back later to be mushy !!! ^_^#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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