#yes i was able to do things i couldn't before. yes that is an improvement. no i'm unable to feel happy about it.
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The thing is that I did the dishes and showered and went to work this week and I'm unable to be proud or happy about any of these achievements because I would just rather be dead
#it's such a weird feeling#my psychologist will ask me how it's going tomorrow and I will tell her that I did those things and she will say that's good. are you proud#and i will have to say no i would rather be dead actually#yes i was able to do things i couldn't before. yes that is an improvement. no i'm unable to feel happy about it.#i am going to work and doing the dishes and showering and i am doing all of it with the underlying feeling of dread and exhaustion#and an increasingly real wish for death#personal
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(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references
(2) Understand what you want to break and how
(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can
(4) It's going to look really bad for a while
(5) Have fun with it!
(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.
-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.
(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!
(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.
(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.
(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY
#liseysart#illustration#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narilamb#cotl narinder#cotl#cotl art#i really REALLY need to work on how i draw narinder haha!#when i feel stumped#i watch videos that make me laugh to bring my spirit back
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5 in a row
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: you give alexia what she wants after she wins the world championship
WC: 2,5
Warnings: Smut18+, Cunnilingus, multiple orgasmn , strap using- reader-receiving,rough sex,
My Masterlist
Hello, lovely readers! I hope you enjoy this story, even if it's not my best work. I'm always open to feedback, wishes, or questions, so please don't hesitate to write me a request. For more information, you can check my masterlist. I'm truly grateful to everyone who reads my work.
I have a feeling that not many people are seeing my work or my fics, and that they're not getting much attention. I've noticed this with several other writers, too. Do you know why that is? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas on how I can improve! And please, have fun reading! 😊
and that's how it is. spain is world champion. your girlfriend is world champion.
You party all night, you walk the streets of Australia, you haven't seen Alexia this happy in a long time.
You're happy for the chicas, it's what they wanted the most, so all the promises came true, and so your promise was "if you become world champion, I'm all yours" were your words, of course you belong to Alexia, but you meant it in a different way.
She was kept from keeping her promise most of the time you were partying and now you are all having lunch together most of you are tired and forced to be there.
When you finally wanted to leave, Alexia was stopped again: "You have a meeting to attend, ale lo siento, I don't want to stress you any more today, but it will be quick," her manager tells her expressively, and Alexia sighs and rolls her eyes: "How long will it take?" she asks annoyed, "an hour at the most," her manager replies, "I'll go first, please be right there," she adds.
Alexia turns to you and comes closer. "I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Don't worry, neña. I'll hurry," she whispers into your ear. You feel her warm breath on your pulse point and sigh against her. She moves away from you and winks at you before she leaves.
//
Time has passed, you saw with the others in the hotel lobby.
Alexia came.
"the superstar is back aye" oihane shouts across the room and alexia blushes slightly she comes over to you she leans down and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek "do you want to go upstairs?" she whispers as you walk past and you nod gently at her alexia starts to light up "The superstar is leaving, I have to do some things," she says playfully to Oihane and everyone looks at her as she pulls you up by your hand, "Do what you couldn't do with y/n for 3 weeks because she had to be able to walk somehow," Jenni shouts playfully and laughs out loud, She gets a playful slap from Misa.
alexia rolls her eyes slightly as you walk towards the elevator
//
alexia presses you against the door her lips are all over your neck your hands are tangled in her hair the air is thick alexia kisses you with so much hunger and lust
Her strong hands press firmly into your ribs, and you let out a deep, gasp. She nibbles at your skin, making sure she marks what belongs to her. Her tongue extends and licks a long strip from the end of your neck to your ear and licks at the shell of your ear. You squirm, and she giggles. "Use me, do what you want with me, but please let me forget my own name," you moan breathlessly.
Alexia stops nibbling on your neck to look at you, her pupils get bigger and she looks at you with her head tilted, her eyes full of fire, her hands literally itch because they miss your pussy so much "do you want that amore" she asks, her voice getting rough "yes please" you answer.
"I need you. I've missed you so much," you say, your head leaning against the door. Your eyes are small and glassy, and you are so wet. You're sure your underwear is ruined. She grabs you by your hips again and leads you to the bed. She sits down and taps her lap to make you realize that you should sit down.
As you sit on her lap, you put your hands on her neck and pull her towards you for an intimate kiss. She sucks on your tongue, your kisses are messy and wet. Her hands, move up to your tits and take them in her hand. You moan softly into her mouth and start rubbing yourself on her. Your hips rock against her, and her hands knead your tits.
She can feel your hard nipples through your bra, and it makes her whimper. You have a hard time kissing her back, One of her hands reaches your ass and gives you a light slap, and you moan out loud. You reach for her hand and guide it to your waistband. "Don't waste time," you say. "Please, Ale, I beg you. I need you so much." You moan, and Alexia's hand slides into your pants.
She teases your hole and you rock your hips against her hand. She has stopped kissing you and puts her forehead against yours. "Please don't tease me," you say, whimpering. Alexia gives you what you need and lets her finger slide into your hole. "fuck, you are so tight," she says, moaning and swallowing hard.
You are trying to block out the sounds that you are making by burying yourself in Alexia's neck.
She grabs your hair and yanks you forward, saying, "Stop hiding your noises. I don't care if everyone hears you." She then inserts another finger into your hole, making you moan and lean back as you ride her fingers.
"I've missed this so much," you say, and Alexia smiles at you. She speeds up with her fingers and hits your G-spot exactly. You kiss her neck, which makes her put her head to the side. You suck and lick her skin. Her fingers curl, and her palm hits your clitoris perfectly with every thrust.
"babe i'm getting closer," you whisper moaning against her sensitive skin "come whenever you need to," her words burst like fireworks in your belly, your teeth biting into her neck as your walls tighten around her thick fingers, your legs pressing tightly against her side and with a muffled whimper the orgasm you've been waiting for so long comes.
She turns you around so that you land on your back on the bed. She climbs on top of you and spreads little kisses on your face. "Put your arms over your head," she says in a soft voice, and you do as you are told. She pushes up your shirt and her eyes widen. She teases your belly by spreading wet kisses on it. Your skin twitches with every touch of her lips.
"You wanna be good?," she says against your stomach before coming up and pulling your shirt over your head, practically drooling at the sight of your hard nipples "I want to be your good girl," you say embarrassed and Alexia gives you a familiar smile and caresses your cheek lovingly.
Her hands ran along the waistband of your pants before she finally took them off completely. You helped her by kicking your pants off with your feet. Despite the stress she's been under, Alexia is relaxed. You've never seen her so relaxed during sex.
She knelt in front of the bed and took your thighs in her hands, pulling you closer to her. You were so wet that Alexia moaned at your smell. She moved her mouth to your core, sucking on your clitoris. "God ale," you moaned, looking down at her. She alternated between licking and sucking on your clitoris.
your hand reaches for her hair to pull her closer to you, your head dropped into your shoulder. Alexia let go of you with a popp "i said keep your hands above your head venga lie back down" she snapped at you, her forehead furrowed, and her eyebrows knitted together. You dropped down annoyed that you couldn't watch her "stop bitching" she added and her head went back to your pussy she teased your entrance before shooting her tongue inside you
Your back arches in response to her touch, and you perceive her smile against your skin. As she engages in oral intercourse with you, her nose makes contact with your clitoris, and her tongue moves in a rapid, deliberate manner. You experience a sensation of thickened blood in your veins, and the inability to move your hands intensifies your arousal.
your eyes roll back into your head as you feel the knot in your stomach again your legs close around her head and shake "fuck ale you're driving me crazy" you whimper feeling your pulse quicken, her tongue still in your hole she feels you coming closer your walls twitch around her tongue "you can cum I want to feel you baby" she says letting go of you for a moment
Your legs are moving and your back is bending throughout your orgasm. She's overstimulating you. You're trying to squirm, "A short break, please," but Alexia doesn't listen. Your body slides backwards to get away from her, but she gets up, grabs your legs, and pulls you to the edge of the bed. Two fingers poke into your hole, and her tongue lands right on your clit again.
You let out a scream and a few tears as she continues to pump into you at a relentless pace. Your legs are still shaking, and your clit is pressed tightly between her lips. She sucks with the expertise of a world champion, and your body shakes, your hips wiggle, and you moan, "Cumming again." You add, "Fuck,fuck" and claw at the bed.
you cum with a deep cry, you see stars. You haven't even noticed alexia let go of you, her lips swollen and wet, her fingers soaked in your cum, she laughs dazed.
"Ready for my strap," she grins mischievously and winks at you, "do I have a choice," you say sarcastically, "not really," she laughs back and gets up to go to her suitcase, she has brought the longest one, "for special occasions," she points out.
//
she climbed on top of you, "please" you blink at her you have recovered a bit from your previous orgasms. "please what?" she asks stupidly "fuck me" you say with rolling eyes
You look into her hazel eyes as she guides her cock to the perfect spot to penetrate you with a muffled moan. She's inside you now. She kisses you, your tongues playing with each other. Your cunt clutches her cock. You take her in completely.
"your cock feels so good babe" you grunt as alexia looks down to see the toy sliding into you. Your hands scratching her clothed back you moan into her neck you love this closeness her warmth
she accelerated and the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room, her hips dug into yours. Your breath caught, your throat constricted you moaned her name over and over. Her energy is so boundless she could pound you into the mattress all day like this
her breath is hot on your neck "i'm so close" you moan, as alexia looks at you "yeah? cum for me show me how much you want it" she says moaning as she gets faster lifting your legs over her shoulder to get deeper inside you, your moans become breathless. You feel like you are being kicked off you cum breathlessly and without a sound
alexia grabs your hips to pull you onto your stomach, she pulls you onto all fours. Your legs are shaking you can barely hold on „I can't fuck..." you cry as she pushes further into you "don't cry you can take another one I know you can" alexia says moaning grabbing your hips to pump harder into you
"that's it look at you such a slut for me aren't you? close again" she says after she circles your clitoris tightly you literally see stars
your head presses deeper into the mattress with each bump, the bed hits the wall. You are sure the whole hotel can hear "do you want to cum? shall I give you what you want?" she asks whimpering "words baby" she adds "yes please am so fucking close" you sputter out
"good girl cum for me" alexia says and after a few thrusts you come again alexia pushes you away so that you land on your back your face is all fucked up you can't think straight your vision is blurred all you can see is the mattress giving way as alexia kisses your torso
"you were so good baby I love you" she says caringly "can I get you something?" she adds "just stay with me“
„i love you too“
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso soccer#woso appreciation#woso blurbs#woso imagine#woso one shot#woso smut#woso x reader#alexia putellas x y/n#alexia putellas smut#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia x reader#alexia putellas#barca femini x reader#barca femeni#barca women#espwnt#fanfic#spain women's national team
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𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ── Part 2
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Warnings: +18! (Minors DNI),smut, unrequited love, angst, reader gets hurt, arguments, jealousy
Word Count: 5896
A/N: English is not my first language.
Dean hung out on the second floor with his new girlfriend while you and Sam watched TV. There were no audible voices. Well, you couldn't hear anything that far away, at least. You couldn't stop your mind from concentrating on them, even if you didn't want to. Your head hurt from the mix of the TV's sounds and the rain. Actually, the pain was in your soul.
You waited for regret to surface so you could condemn and despise yourself for opening yourself to Dean, your friend. But despite your best efforts, you were unable to sense remorse. You knew that you would do it again if you had a chance, taking back all that happened. How could you refuse him? You wished to memorize every moment of that night by being able to see every expression on his face. It was ridiculous that something so basic could no longer be made possible. The moments you spent with him are now only vague memories in your mind. All you could recall was the touch—his touch. It was still lingering on your skin. That would be enough.
It was clear to you from the way he laughed with her moments ago that the moment you had spent with him days before meant nothing. It was simply another hookup for Dean. Though you didn't think you'd reveal the truth from your side, you wondered what Sam would say about it. Sam was a good man, but you really weren't supposed to reveal to him that you slept with his brother since it would be too embarrassing. Additionally, you had given your virginity to his brother, whom you referred to as a "friend." There was no way you could tell him this.
You couldn't even recall the name of the show that was on TV. From time to time, Sam cracked up at the jokes. At least one person was feeling good. You looked at him attentively and observed that he had his attention on the show while he ate his popcorn.
He turned to face you, seeing your serious expression as he observed how you were reacting to the joke. In your arms, you held a pillow.
He said, “What's that look?”
“Seems like someone is enjoying, huh?”
“Why not? We all deserve a little relaxation after working so hard as hunters, don't you think?” He remarked, grinning, and turned down the TV. The instant the room was silent, you realized how much the noise had hurt your head.
“Like your brother?” Compared to what you had anticipated, you sounded more serious.
“Dean being Dean, you know.” Sam sighed and made a quick statement. Yes, you were aware of it.
“How is your arm, by the way?” you said with a troubled look on your face. You've been feeling terrible for Sam because he kept you protected throughout the hunt and then ended up hurting himself. He was always considerate and cautious of you and Dean. It was in his nature.
Sam smiled reassuringly and said, “It's fine. You know, things go wrong, and as long as you save the day, it's alright to get a little bit hurt.”
Stating, “I didn't want to get distracted that easily. I'm not sure what's wrong with me these days, but I promise I'll get better.” The claim that you were acting in this way without knowing why wasn't true. You were certainly aware of the exact cause of your growing distraction.
If only Sam could read your mind and understand. Otherwise, there was no way for you to tell him straight what happened between you and Dean that night. You had any, yet deep down you needed to talk to someone. But you were very, really embarrassed. It's not like you were teens; you and Dean are grown ups. Reasonable ones, obviously. On the other hand, exposing your situation to him would be the same as declaring your love for him and would reveal your feelings for him.
“Really, Y/N, it's all right. What is done is done.” Sam looked at you, totally shutting off the TV. “Ignore what Dean said. You know how protective he is all the time. If you were the one who was harmed by me, he would say the same things. Though he may have come off as tougher, his intentions were good.”
"I'm afraid that's not true, Sammy. I mean, I know his intentions were good, of course, but I guess I touched his nerves this time for real.”
You attempted a smile, but it did not reach your lips before you realized Sam was trying to soothe you.
Sam replied awkwardly, “He cares way too much about the people he really cares about.” At these meaningless remarks, you both halted for a little period of time. “Well, it wasn't the best way to put it, but you get the idea. You might understand if you were raised by an older brother. He's not a bad person; there are just moments when I don't understand him.”
“Of course not,” you cut him off right away. “You don't even have to say it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying anything negative about him. I would never.”
“I know, I know...” Sam spoke quickly. “Still, I'm simply advising you not to think too much about what he said previously, all right? We've been hunting for more than a year; it's not that he doesn't like you. Remember that a year ago, it was he who offered the invitation for you to join that team?”
You ultimately nodded as Sam attempted to convince you that Dean didn't mean to hurt you.
“Yes,” you murmured to yourself. “Considering how often you two sustain injuries, a nurse would be beneficial. I wonder if Dean was looking for a nurse for himself and his little brother, or if he was looking for someone with hunting abilities.”
“Let's say you're just talented enough to take a part in that very humble team,” Sam laughed. “And you're being a nurse is just another plus.”
You sighed and then gave him a genuine smile, saying, “Fine, if you say so.” You had finally been somewhat diverted from your thoughts about Dean and his girlfriend by a brief conversation with Sam.
Curious, you said, “How about you and Ruby, by the way? It seems that you two have become a very good couple, haven't you?”
“We're looking for something…to work out. But it's okay for now,” Sam remarked hesitantly. You found it amusing that he was so forthright about everything else than relationships.
“You seem to be very much in love.” Not knowing how to present the matter to Dean without taking any suspicion, you offered an innocent glance to Sam. Sam was smart in every other way. Sometimes he observed and gazed at people as though he could see right through them.
“She's like no one I've ever met,” Sam said timidly. “I think it will take some more time to work it out, but it's fine so far.”
“I'm glad to hear that.”
“How about you?”
You hesitantly replied, “What?” as he sent you one of his suspicious stares.
“I've been thinking about lately and come to know... that it has been a year and I didn't even see you with anyone. That seems a little odd, don't you think?” Sam arched an eyebrow. “Are you not seeing anyone, or are you keeping it as a secret or something?”
You shifted on the seat and hugged the pillow against your arms a bit extra to help you unwind. In the end, he knew nothing about Dean or you. There was no reason to be anxious. It was only chitchat.
“No, of course not!” You stopped him off before he started asking his questions. “It isn't... I'm not interested in anyone right now.”
“Really?” With a look of suspicion, Sam inquired. “We met other men throughout the cases, and they seemed to be interested in you. How can you tell whether you're interested in one of them if you don't give it a shot?”
“Sam, I don't like hookups. Something like that is not what I want.” However, you've turned into Dean's one hookup. The thought briefly ripped through your soul, given how little you've been talking recently, as if there were an unambiguous wall between you that you could not break down no matter how hard you tried.
“That's not what I'm saying. I'm just trying to get the point that you should give people a chance to win you over. How in the world would you know if you liked someone or not without that?”
“I don't want to,” you interrupted, concentrating solely on Dean. It would be simpler to get Sam to understand you if you could tell him how you feel about Dean.
Sam groaned and said, “Fine. It was just an advice.”
“I know, thanks,” you responded, putting on a timid grin. “Will you continue to watch TV for a while? It's growing late.”
Sam said, “I think I will,” as he looked at his watch. “Are you leaving?”
You said quietly, “Yeah,” as you peered out the window to see the weather. It was pouring. You would have hated sunny days even more if you had gotten intimate with Dean on a sunny day. Rainy weather used to be something you enjoyed, but now it just hurt.
“I think it's better if you stay though,” Sam said, taking a deep breath and using one of his fingers to show you the pouring rain. “You're not the best driver.”
With a harsh tone, you said, suddenly tossing the pillow over his face. “Did you just insult me?”
“That's not insulting,” Sam shot it back at you. “I'm just saying that you're no Hamilton.”
You said, “You have no idea,” and you couldn't help but smile as you recalled the day Dean forbade you from driving on rainy days after you nearly had an accident. Dean continued to get anxious when it started to rain while you were driving because of that day. His Baby was more important than anything.
“Will you be watching TV or?” Taking back the remote control, Sam asked.
“No, thanks; enjoy yourself.” Setting the pillow down next to the coach and stretching your arms, you yawned.
You couldn't help but notice the agonizing heavy feeling in your chest as it began to flare up again like tiny needles as you made your way upstairs. Even though you didn't want to hear anything, you were listening for any sounds coming from Dean's room. As you passed, your movements almost seemed to slow down, but you quickly realized what was going on, and you entered the dark room where you would be spending the night, as if your brain didn't want to hear anything.
You had been repeatedly asked to leave the same house by Dean and Sam and start to live with them, but for whatever reason you were unaware of, you had refused. If they repeated the offer, you would most likely take it immediately. God, even if you just lived in the same house, you would probably fall even more in love with Dean. During hunts, it was even sufficient to see him for a few hours. Your heart ached to think about his face, his grin, and every joke he ever told.
Has the night some weeks ago caused you to ruin what you had? You didn't feel any regret, but as you noticed that Dean was becoming more aloof, regret started to consume you.
You'd just gotten out of the shower when your hands found one of Dean's t-shirts. You desired to wear it like you had some weeks prior. Back then, it wasn't a big deal; instead of complaining, he would just make jokes about how little and amusing you looked in them. But things were different today, and you knew it wouldn't be proper to wear it while he had a girlfriend.
If he truly had affections for someone, you didn't want to spoil things for him.
They laughed a little too loudly as you lay down on the bed and pressed his t-shirt against your chest as if it would bring him further closer. Dean's laughter mixed with Jo's. You tried, devastated, to focus on the soothing sounds of the falling rain and on the absurd or hazardous situations that had transpired during the hunts. It was useless.
That was the moment you became aware of how really alone you were. Perhaps Sam was correct about telling you to pursue a romantic connection. However, how could it be possible when you were already deeply in love with someone? Anytime Dean was around, your heart felt like it was going to explode. You had no idea how to handle things like that.
You set his shirt down and let it fall to the ground, acting as if doing so could shield you from the overwhelming feelings that Dean had given you. God, how could you possibly let go of your feelings for him when you couldn't even let go of a single piece of fabric with ease?
You were so miserable and pathetic that you were unable to stop crying this time. You dreamed of something you could never have as the tears flowed down your cheeks and onto the bed. You will always cherish the beautiful memory the night gave you, but at what cost?
You were sobbing, but you weren't sure if it was from the noises Dean and Jo were making or from the dreams that could only have come true in your head.
Your impulse to pick up Dean's t-shirt from the floor gradually vanished as your tears dropped to the bed and the pain consumed your entire being. Until today, you had no idea how much you actually loved him.
“What happened?” With a big smile on her face, Jo placed her fingers around Dean's face and inquired in between laughter. She teased this thick neck with a quick, playful kiss. On his lap, she became still.
Dean's fingers raised her skirt and were ready to push her underwear aside. Jo continued moving on Dean's lap, making herself wetter by rubbing herself over Dean's boxer, her hands lingering on his wide and bare chest with desire.
“Nothing,” a rough-voiced Dean said. From the room where you were staying, he thought he heard something. He had heard you took the upstairs before he'd gone to the bathroom. You most likely made the decision to stay since it was pouring rain outside. You definitely didn't know how to drive in such conditions. He shuddered, remembering when you nearly crushed his baby and sent it to his sweet vehicle burial.
Jo touched Dean's naked chest and paused her palm at his abs, saying, “You seem to be like thinking something else.”
“I wasn't,” Dean lied. It was not significant at all, so there was no need to provide details.
“I was just thinking though,” Jo said, attempting to find the right words to say.
“About?”
“I think we'd be a great team, you know.” With a sly smile, Jo continued to stroke Dean's abs with the tips of her fingers. “As you are aware, Sam, you, and I would make an excellent team since we are now somewhat of a family, since I am also a hunter. Do you not think?”
Dean moved slightly on the bed, thinking of you, irritated at Jo's disregard for you, as if the details weren't even important. You were a member of the team. He was the one who initially made the offer to you in fact. Besides, they weren't even paired up. He said nothing about it so as not to hurt her feelings or make her feel humiliated if she brought it up.
“How about Y/N?” In an attempt to lighten the mood and soften the air, Dean attempted to smile at her, but his smile did not reach his lips.
“She's a nurse,” Jo said, as if it were an insult. Dean felt uncomfortable and uneasy because Jo was attempting to push out the details of what she truly wanted to say about you. Despite her best efforts to seem polite, she came out as cunning and bitter. That was something Dean did not appreciate.
“So?” Dean arched an eyebrow in questioning. “She is the only one still alive due to the terrible things that went wrong; her family was full of hunters just like ours. She doesn't even need to, yet she still has passion. That's very encouraging, in my opinion. I mean, continuing to work in the family business while also doing her professional job responsibilities. That requires guts.”
“Are you defending her?”
“I am,” Dean said in a firm and harsh manner. Jo was still on top of him, trying to get him to say nasty things about you, and he didn't enjoy her attempts at distracting him with handiwork. Dean felt unease and a strong sense of aggressiveness.
He never explicitly expressed his admiration for you for persevering through everything and for having the guts to face your fears. Jo recognized how much he genuinely admired you in his heart when he explained how excellent you were at what you did. Even though you occasionally were easily sidetracked, you were a professional.
Jo sighed, but she didn't give a damn about Dean's opinion of you. In the end, you posed no threat. For nothing at all.
“I don't think your dad raised you and Sam for doing some charity to the orphan hunters and helping them to find a belonging,” Jo said. Although she made an effort not to seem cruel, it was the reality for her. “I am aware of the danger she took for Sam when you all were hunting last time. It is a weakness to be easily sidetracked in this.”
Dean's eyes grew enraged as Jo carried on speaking in a sinuous manner. She was aware of his dislike of others discussing the persons they cared about in this way. Particularly about the people he respected and gave enough thought to.
Dean whispered, “Jo,” but it seemed more like he was threatening her. “Stop this fucking nonsense now. I'm serious.”
“Do you have a soft spot for her or something?” Jo inquired once again. She also bit her lips invitingly while gently raising her skirt to reveal her pussy to Dean's gaze in an attempt to divert his focus elsewhere.
Her eyes were full of promise. In particular, Dean found it amusing when ladies looked at him with such passion.
Dean immediately felt a sense of relaxation as his hands moved to her hips. He sighed and refused to answer. “Are we just going to talk?” he asked. She began removing her clothes rapidly while he licked his lips and observed.
“Hopefully not,” Jo laughed in response. She was relieved that she and Dean had stopped talking about you. “Let our bodies talk in their very own, divine language.”
Dean switched the positions before she could say anything more. Now that he was on top of Jo, he was urgently kissing her while his mind was racing with ideas he wanted to put down for the night.
Dean roughly spread Jo's legs wider and pulled her underwear aside, freeing himself from his boxer. With a single forceful shove that caused them both to moan loudly, he gave his firm cock a few strokes and pushed himself in Jo beforehand. That was an excellent way to get some real comfort now.
Jo hadn't kept it low at all, so Dean put his hands on her mouth to silence her, causing her to sigh into his hands without intending to wake anyone. He picked up his speed and began to push into her rough and fast enough to satisfy both of them, knowing that she enjoyed being fucked raw and fast and that Dean also wanted to find his release.
While he continued to fuck her, Dean warned her to "keep it low," suppressing his own groans.
She was, however, loudly groaning in Dean's hands, locking her legs around his hips, matching his speed as she raised her hips, as if she wanted everyone to know that she was getting fucked by Dean. Dean warned her to turn down the volume once more, but it didn't help.
In an attempt to find his release, Dean thrust into her more quickly, giving the impression that he was being forced to come—as if this were a mission or one of his hunts. He was striving to find his pleasure when he felt nervousness take over his body. He wasn't accustomed to feeling this way, especially around women.
His other hand tightened on Jo's tits, and he ran his fingers through her ass to help himself. His movements were forceful and impatient. All he wanted was for her to be somewhat silent so that he could focus more easily. It wasn't like Dean liked to be all crazy harsh on ladies or anything; he just needed to experience the closeness of a true, sincere touch, which was difficult to find at the moment.
He was on the verge of getting there, but he was unable to seize the ideal moment of pleasure and find relief.
Though it wasn't appropriate to think about it right now, Dean's thoughts began to form around the moment he and you had shared weeks earlier as he continued to stroke his hardness into Jo's warm pussy while muttering under his breath. It was as though his body had a mind of its own and knew when it was best for him to get what he was looking for.
His thoughts were hopelessly consumed by the sensation of your tightness and those moments of adorable small sounds that you attempted to hide from him. Dean attempted to concentrate on the woman who he was actually fucking into, not feeling proud of how he thought about you while he fucked Jo into the covers. Thinking about how he fucked you wasn't fair to no one at all. But his own body, which was attempting to steal what it desired by using Jo's body, was not under his control.
Him fucking Jo was becoming a battle between Dean's body and mind. Pleasure and reason; soul and mind.
Jo began to quiver instead of groan loudly, and as Dean withdrew his fingers from her lips, she cried out, “Will you come inside?”
Dean instantly said, “No,” realizing that he hadn't been wearing a condom throughout his frantic sex with her. “Stay still.”
With a hint of rage, Dean sank his fingers into Jo's flesh and his head into her sweating neck, fiercely shutting his eyes. He was going insane as he struggled with his own thoughts, which were attempting to recall every little detail about your body and how you responded and tightened around his member. He didn't want to go back in time mentally and get pleasure thinking about the night with you while he was inside someone else. It wasn't fair for any.
It was just an impulse decision made in the heat of the moment. Still, Dean's mind continued seeing the body underneath him to be yours, making him picture every single detail of how he took you and how you immediately clenched around him the moment he entered you. He was taken aback by how tight you were; you were like anyone he had ever fucked.
As the fantasies overtook his thoughts, Dean became aware of his surroundings as Jo began to speak dirty to him, telling him how much she enjoyed it when he gave her such an aggressive fuck. Dean wasn't aware of himself till now that he started to fuck into her pussy quicker and harder.
Dean's body tensed as his eyes opened. He was pushing his cock in and out of Jo without intending to get off as he thought about you. He was a little caught by what had transpired in a split second.
Jo gasped and said, “Why did you stop?” To regain his attention, she raised her hips higher.
“Nothing,” Dean said, losing his temper and collapsing to his side as he felt his cock gradually soften.
Jo was bewildered, but she became enraged when Dean abruptly quit fucking her and left her feeling unsatisfied.
She sighed and said, “You want me to get on top?” although she sounded more like she was frustrated.
“No.”
“What the hell is your problem?” she said, nailing Dean's chest. “Come on-”
“I said, 'no.' Alright?” In an attempt to disassociate himself from Jo, Dean stated. Even though he knew it was just about him, he tried to keep his cool down despite feeling like rage was taking him.
When she realized Dean wasn't in the mood and was most likely experiencing some sort of dysfunctional erection, she simply remarked, “Anyways,” without caring about it at all. “I promised to go out with some friends tonight, you know,” she said, putting on her clothes again.
“Alright. It's pouring outside though.”
“Yeah, and?”
With a sigh, Dean said, “Nevermind,” understanding that you were the only on who found driving in such weather difficult.
Dean quickly showered right after Jo departed the house, then jerked off just after he entered the bathroom. Even if things started to seem strange with Jo, his body still wanted some release to ease the tension. He was horny and furious at the same time. Though he was a man of action and he wasn't the biggest fan of taking himself in hand in the shower like a teenager, it worked this time. It felt good enough.
Dean gasped in frustration, picturing your gentle touches and the way he felt within you while he fucked Jo and how he thought about you while. The easiest way for him to regain control of his body was to stop. That was all—him and you were simply pals who took pleasure from each other for one night. You were lovely, so it wasn't that he wouldn't want to fuck you again, but it would just be weird. That was not Dean's type of thing.
With one arm folded behind his head, Dean lay on the bed and tried not to think too much. Perhaps he was simply too exhausted.
Even though you were exhausted, your body woke up in the middle of the night due to a headache and a dry throat. You walked silently downstairs to the kitchen so as not to wake Sam, Dean, or his girlfriend.
You cursed yourself for being so emotional and sensitive, crying your eyes out till you went to sleep. Perhaps you were about to have your monthly period very soon. You were forced to put on your headphones by Dean and his companion in order to block out the noises they created all night.
What a waste, you thought. Believing that once you committed yourself to Dean, things would improve between you two. The situation became worse because of it. There was now such a strong and lengthy barrier between you that, despite your best attempts to remain composed, you were unable to climb it at all without being exhausted. If you were more courageous than this, you would have let everything pass by, turned your back to the team, and concentrated on your actual work.
After turning on the light and rubbing your swollen eyes, you sipped your water and sat down next to the window. You couldn't even get enough sleep, and you had to work all day. You required a long vacation.
As soon as you placed the glass down on the kitchen sink, you turned around and saw Dean staring back at you. He was half nude, wearing just sweatpants; his broad chest was all naked. You jumped and gasped in fear because you didn't hear him approaching.
Dean seemed a little confused for a moment when he saw your ruined hair and swollen eyes, but he said nothing.
He stated, “You're so jumpy,” in a low voice as if another person may hear them.
You paused in front of Dean and said, "I didn't hear you coming," but all you did was stand there and remain still, your heart racing.
Ignoring him and returning to your room was difficult. Though your soul ached and yearned for more time with him, your mind knew that nothing would happen between you.
“Why are you still awake?”
You suddenly snapped, “Why are you questioning me?” but then you added, “I was thirsty.”
He said, “It makes us two,” and grabbed a glass of water for himself.
Can't help but notice how you looked, he remarked, “Your eyes appear somewhat swollen.” He couldn't help making a comment this time, a sense of concern overwhelming him.
Trying to sound convincing enough, you said in a hushed voice, “I just woke up. Couldn’t sleep properly.”
“You're going to work tomorrow, aren't you?” Dean inquired as if attempting to strike up a conversation after such a lengthy period. You haven't been speaking properly recently for the obvious reason.
You answered, “Um, yeah,” and lightly stroked your hand to see whether it hurt. It no longer did. Thank goodness you weren't seriously injured. You've also taken plenty of time off from work. It would be best if you started working right away to take your mind off of Dean and all that was going on. There was a lot to take in.
“But can you work though? Is your hand okay, by the way?”
“Yes, I suppose there's nothing to worry about. It's stopped hurting. Actually, I missed my job. It's been too long since I took a break.”
You took a deep breath and went to head back to your room, saying a quiet, "Good night," but Dean stopped you by grasping your arm after he finished his drink. “Wait,” he quietly whispered.
He released his hold on you and gently caressed your skin in an attempt to apologize for being a little too harsh on you. You turned to face him, perplexed. “Yes?” you said as you awaited his next words.
He seemed unable to find the right words to say, so he said, “Whatever happened during the hunting... It wasn't just your fault.” The moment he brought that case back, your heart pounded.
You took a deep breath to keep yourself from being upset as you thought back to what he had said to you, his hurtful remarks, and how annoyed Dean was as a result of your distraction.
You managed to stutter, “It's okay,” and try to smile sympathetically at him. “You are right in every way. I should have exercised more caution. After all, he's your brother.”
“No, I'm not right about everything.” Dean took a deep breath and held your still-healing hand. “I was responsible as much as you were. After all, I am the team's oldest member.” He attempted to lighten the situation with a smile, but for some reason neither of you felt like it.
Dead had told you, just to your face, that Sam was extremely important to him, as if you had someone in your life to worry about. He hated himself for not being more compassionate after realizing he was simply being harsh.
“It was just... in the heat of the moment,” Dean made an effort to explain his behavior. But the way your eyes met, it seemed like he meant something very different.
“I know."
“I only wanted you to be more cautious; I didn't want to hurt you.” He looked into your reddened eyes and added, “Not just for me or Sam, but especially for your own good,” with such genuineness that it seemed he could see what a wreck you were on the inside. How messy you were.
“You did not hurt me at all. I will proceed with greater caution, as I had said previously.” You let his hands lightly brush across yours. Your heart had melted at such a simple, one-time gesture. Though you knew you couldn't, your body was aching to get closer to him.
He finally released your hand after a little while. However, if he hadn't taken it in the first place, it would have hurt less.
You hoped with all of your heart that this moment in the kitchen with Dean had gone differently. You wanted to be closer, cuddling, laughing, or doing anything else that would be tender and intimate. But you two were farther apart than before. Your eyes would have said everything about how much you wanted him if they could communicate.
“I honestly didn't intend any of the things I said to you before or later. I want you to understand this.”
“I do, Dean.”
Dean said, “I know things are a little awkward between us, but I don't want it to be like this,” before you could say anything more. “I hope that you continue to feel at ease with me. I suppose we haven't discussed it appropriately so far about this.”
Your cheeks suddenly flushed scarlet at the mention of your circumstance, and fear shot through your veins “It's really okay,” you nodded to him and replied in a hurry. “Everything's alright.”
You felt burdened with the thought that he could be concerned that you might tell Jo. Should that be his worry, you might reassure and soothe him. In a whisper, you said, “I wouldn't...tell Jo.”
Dean opened his mouth to say something, then scowled instead. His expression showed signs of uncertainty. Given how often they had been hooking up only, he wasn't really sure if he and Jo were a thing at all.
He felt a little guilty as well as responsible for initiating the kiss that night since he was aware it was him.
“You know, I don't want you to feel awkward. Don't let anything go to waste or let this ruin what we have.”
Your heart raced with hopelessness again as Dean blatantly said that he wanted nothing to change and that you should move on from the past. At this point, you couldn't tell if he was genuinely unaware of your emotions. It was better if he hadn't even opened his mouth in the first place and stayed silent.
Since you believed you were trying your best to keep things calm between you and him and maintain whatever relationship you had with him, you wanted to ask him if there was anything you could have done to make him feel that way about you or did you make him feel uncomfortable around you. It wasn't like you were still holding out hope. You were not anticipating this any longer.
Despite his repeated promises not to hurt you, he continued to do so without even realizing it.
You nodded to him quickly and answered, “Of course, I don't want this either,” with a heavy heart. “I would not want to ruin.”
You gave him a little smile and a mumble of "good night," then turned back toward your room. You would have found the strength to cry a little bit more if your eyes weren't sore from crying so much hours before. But at that moment, all you wanted to do was sleep, without really considering anything.
Next Chapter
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A/N: Please, let me know what you think about this one. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! ^^
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Chapter 4- Breaking Down Walls
Arranged For Love (Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader)
Series Masterlist
Summary- Y/N and Carlos realise that they love each other. They tie the knot. Everything seems to perfect to be real.
Warning- Mention of death
After the two agreed to make their families happy by getting married, the preparations were in full swing. The wedding would be a black and white tie affair in the backyard of Y/N's house. Seemed like a good idea to have it be small and intimate.
As the two of them got involved picking out colours and flowers for the wedding; they felt their bond growing closer. This was a major milestone in their life and they couldn't help but feel a connection. It wasn't just the wedding or the late night calls, they had started to confide in each other and realised that maybe this whole marriage thing wouldn't be so bad, after all. They felt like they could enjoy each other's company and be able to grow as people even though they hadn't met since that dinner.
Carlos was extremely busy with the season and the talks with Ferrari. It was taking up a lot of his time and he couldn't be there for most of the wedding planning. It was just Y/N and a couple messages to choose between this or that during the preparations. A lot of the choices had her grandmother's opinion. She would let her grandma pick what she thought would be best in places where Carlos and her couldn't decide.
Y/N had been watching Carlos's races since she found out about him. She would listen to him talk about how it went and how he could improve on it with a glint in his eyes. She felt special that she could share his love for racing even though she barely understood some of the words.
Trying to juggle a semester at home while at the same time planning a wedding during her end semester exams was proving to be a bigger challenge than Y/N had anticipated. She was trying to be on top of everything to be prepared and it was causing more migraines than necessary. She might've lashed out on Carlos a couple times over text which she did apologise for since doing everything almost alone was stressing her out.
Towards the end of the racing season, Y/N was planning on going to the last race to watch Carlos but everything got cancelled due to the increasing cases in Abu Dhabi. Carlos noticed that she looked sad during call and asked, "You look sad, what's up?" She was an open book, her expressions gave her emotions away. She wasn't lying to anyone, "I had thought I'd come to your last race of the season but I can't because of the..." she trailed off, clearly distraught with the new developments. "It's fine, you can come next year. It's not like I'll be gone" he tried to joke. "True, I could attend it as Mrs Sainz" she joked. "That is correct" Carlos smiled. He felt weird hearing her refer to herself as Mrs Sainz, but he liked that.
After the post season testing, Carlos had come to meet Y/N. He had a promise to keep; he would take her out on a date before their wedding. He was able to thankfully get a reservation at a restaurant.
With the restaurant no longer operating at full capacity, would give the pair the much needed privacy. Y/N wore a fitted midi coral dress which hit her just below her knees. Carlos was wearing his signature baby blue button down with white slacks. He looked handsome as ever. "Shall we?" Carlos asked. "yes, we shall" Y/N smiled taking Carlos's hand. Y/N's grandma could be heard calling out, "Have fun. Don't stay out to late." She felt proud of herself for at least setting her grand daughter up with a gentleman.
Carlos drove them to the restaurant. Their conversation flowed easily, they laughed along at stupid jokes they said and Carlos heard Y/N softly hum along to the songs on the radio to fill in the silence. Carlos would look over, a fond smile gracing his lips. After they reached the restaurant, Carlos opened the doors for her and pulled out her chair for her. He was going to make it her best date ever; he owed her that much.
While they waited for the dinner, "I can't believe we're going to be married in 2 weeks" Y/N mulled over her thoughts. All the preparations were done, they would have the wedding arch in the backyard and a day before the wedding; they would have a rehearsal dinner. She had skipped over the bachelorette even though her best friend wanted to throw her one. They decided to stick to a sleep over the night before. "I can't either. When we met I didn't expect to marry you" Carlos said. "Me neither. I fought my parents, more like disagreed with them" Y/N hummed. "Me too. I just didn't expect to marry so soon" Carlos stated. "Yeah, I didn't expect to be married before I graduated either" Y/N laughed. "But the world works in mysterious ways I guess" she shrugged her shoulders.
The food was great, "This is so good. I don't know why I never came here before" she told Carlos. Carlos smiled and raised his hand to wipe the food off the corner of her mouth. Y/N's eyes widened as Carlos's fingers brushed past her lips. She instinctively pulled away, apologising. "There was something there" Carlos said cleaning his finger with his tongue. Y/N watched as Carlos's finger, the same one that was on her lips moments ago touched his tongue. She quickly looked at her food, which seemed way more interesting suddenly. Her heart was beating fast, a lot faster than she had expected. Watching Carlos made her feel hot and bothered. She felt like crap for the unholy thoughts that were plaguing her mind.
Thankfully, the dinner ended without any more hiccups. And Carlos drove her back to her place. The next two weeks, Carlos's family flew in and they all enjoyed the pleasant Spring weather before the wedding and letting the to be weds to spend some much needed time together.
One of those days, Y/N's best friend, Ava came over to meet the man that would be marrying her best friend. Ava was fiercely protective of Y/N and when she found out about the arranged marriage situation, she a had a bit of a fight with Y/N's grandmother regarding Y/N's wedding. She couldn't believe she would get her grand daughter married off to some random dude. She was very close to their family since they'd been friends since middle school. Y/N tried to deescalate the fight but it only ended when Y/N dragged Ava to her room. "Grandma isn't that bad" she began. "You're saying that because she's your grandmother who is sick. I get it, I really do but an arranged marriage. I didn't think she was that old fashioned." Ava sighed. "She isn't. Plus the guy she chose is hot hot" Y/N whispered. "Show me" Ava spoke slowly, unsure of her friend. Y/N pulled out her phone and showed a picture of Carlos. "He's a F1 driver" she explained further. "Oh, he's rich rich" Ava smirked. "He'll be driving for Ferrari next year" Y/N added further. "Oh My God, he's loaded. I don't think we could've pulled him" Ava sighed, accepting defeat.
So, when she met Carlos for the first time, she played the part of the skeptical best friend well; going as far as to threaten him. Carlos only smiled, happy that Y/N was surrounded by people who loved and cared for her. He promised Ava to always take care of her best friend.
The day of the rehearsal dinner came quicker than any one expected, the to be weds were dressed in pastel colours and both their families and friends were sat at the table. They went over the schedule for the next day. The weather was a lot nicer, with the sun setting on them. The atmosphere was perfect to be getting married in. As Carlos watched Y/N interact with his family, he felt it. He thought about everything; all the weird feeling he had when talking to her or thinking about her; it made him realise that maybe just maybe he liked her. Y/N couldn't say she wasn't feeling the same. She had always wanted to be with someone who meshed well with her family. She never thought it would be someone chosen by her family, but right now she saw it. She decided to finally acknowledge all the feelings she's been feeling and perhaps she liked Carlos more than she let on and spending forever with him didn't sound as bad.
After the rehearsal dinner, when everyone was dispersing; Y/N asked Carlos to speak to her in private. She wanted to tell him how she felt and how she wanted to go forward with this marriage. She didn't expect Carlos to feel the same but she felt like she wanted to lay the ground work for what the relationship she wanted to be like. "Carlos, I wanted to tell you something" she breathed in, "Go on" Carlos encouraged her. "I know we started off the way we did and I know we are getting married because of my grand mother but along the way I've realised as I spoke to you more and got to know you more that I like you. Not as a friend or someone I was forced to spend time with way but someone I see a future with. Regardless of what happens 5 years or 10 years down the line, I want you to know that I'm not marrying you because my grandmother told me, kind of true but that's beside the point, but I'm marrying you because right now, in this moment, I like you. I've liked you for a while but it was watching you with everyone today, cemented it for me" Y/N finished without a break. Carlos's lips turned up into a smile and he took her hands in his, "I realised that now too, during the rehearsal dinner that maybe spending the rest of my life with you didn't sound like a bad idea or something I was being forced to do. I like you too Y/N" Carlos replied. "Can I kiss you?" Y/N asked looking at Carlos's lips. "Yeah" Carlos breathed and Y/N stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. Carlos's hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer. Y/N placing her hands on his cheeks, "Maybe when everything settles down we can have a big wedding with everyone" Y/N asked hopefully after pulling away from the kiss. "Maybe we can" Carlos replied.
Ava and Y/N had a fun sleepover, watching movies and pampering each other. Y/N woke up refreshed and well rested, all thanks to her best friend. The day of the wedding was as hectic as expected. Anika helped her grand daughter dress up. She was very happy zipping up the gorgeous gown Y/N had picked out and then she took the necklace off of her neck and put it on Y/N's neck. "I always thought I would give this to you. But when you said you loved it when I bought it, I knew I had to give it to you" Anika smiled and clasped the necklace. "I love it" Y/N smiled at the necklace and her reflection. "I'm happy I get to share this with you" Y/N said, hugging her grandma. "I'm happy you're happy. I never thought I'd get to see my grand daughter get married ever" Anika said wiping her tears. "You have a lot to live for. You have to attend my graduation, play with my kids. I can't wait for you to come to my graduation tho" Y/N smiled brightly. "You want this old hag at your graduation" Anika asked. "Obviously, you practically raised me. I'm here because of you. Even if my parents can't make it, I want you there" she told her grandma. "Okay" she smiled at her grand daughter.
The wedding was wonderful, they had a few generic vows written down and read them out as the ceremony progressed. It was followed by dinner where you could hear everyone talking and laughing and having a good time. The family had come together and even though it was small yet quaint; Y/N couldn't have asked for a better day. She ended the night by dancing with her grandma.
Sadly, their happiness was short lived. Because soon after the wedding, Anika's health started to decline. She hadn't been able to stomach any food. She was barely able to walk at a point. The hospital visits were erratic since they couldn't go due to COVID which meant the family tried to provide Anika with all the care that they could.
It was getting harder, day by day to provide her the care she needed and when things got really tough, they were finally able to have her admitted in a hospital. Y/N had come to visit her grandma at the hospital. People weren't allowed to come as often, so she was sat with her grandma's hand in hers, after a long time. "You'll be good as new in no time" Y/N said, tears threatening to fall. "I'm okay sweetheart, whether I live or die, I've seen everything I wanted to. I just hope you all are always happy" Anika whispered. "You still have a lot to see" Y/N crocked. "Can I speak with Carlos?" Anika asked. Y/N FaceTimed Carlos, who answered immediately. "Hello, dear" Anika spoke. "Hi grandma, how are you?" Carlos asked. "I'm okay. I just wanted to talk to you both together." she said looking at her grand daughter. "You can talk to us whenever" Carlos reassured. "I know I forced you two to get married, so I'm sorry for putting you two in a tough spot. I was selfish and I wanted to have one last happy moment" she said. "You'll have more" Y/N interrupted. Anika smiled, "I just hope you two are happy forever. I will only wish for happiness in your lives whether I'm a part of it or not" Anika breathed. out. "Thank you for bringing me Y/N. You have no idea how happy she makes me" Carlos said. "I'm glad, dear. I hope you two will take care of each other" she sighed. "Forgive this old woman for meddling in your lives. I promise, I just wanted what was good for you" she smiled weakly. Y/N soon cut the call and spent some time with her grandma before she had to leave. Her aunt would be staying over for the next few hours.
As she got home, she was informed that her grandmother wasn't doing too well and they weren't sure, she would make it. Y/N was optimistic, her grandma had been to the hospital before and returned after the treatment. But this time was different. A few hours later, in the middle of the night, Y/N was informed that her grandmother had passed away. She couldn't believe it, she didn't believe it, not for a couple hours, not until she saw it herself. She felt the world came crashing down on her, she sat there letting the words sink in as the world seemed to rush past her. Her grand mother, who had raised her, had passed away on a beautiful spring night. How was she supposed to go on?
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6: A FINE LINE
Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter
You and Bucky deal with the fallout of the undercover mission.
Word count 2.7k
Warnings: Nightmares, angry girlfriends, Steve and Nat being besties to idiots
You were blissfully oblivious to the world while you slept for the whole quinjet flight, waking only as the small plane touched down the runway outside the compound.
"Sorry," Bucky grimaced as you woke with a gasp.
"Are we home?"
You turned to look at him. As he nodded, you noticed the dark circles under his eyes, accentuated by the lines of worry across his forehead. He was looking at you with so much apprehension, that you almost reached out to comfort him. Almost. The memories of the previous night came flooding back and sadness filled your heart again.
"How're you feeling?" he asked.
You ignored his question in favor of your own. "Did you fly all the way back without stopping?"
"Yeah," he nodded, his chest swelled with pride that you had noticed what he had done for you.
"That was a dangerous thing to do. You're exhausted." Bucky's face fell but you continued to chastise him anyway. "What if something happened? Are you trying to get us both killed?"
The long sleep had done nothing to improve your mood, you felt sluggish and now you were hungry to boot.
Bucky opened and closed his mouth a few times, before the word ‘sorry' came out in a whisper. "I don't want to hurt you."
"But you did."
The uncomfortable silence between you was broken by a crackle on the radio. "Everything okay in there?" Steve's voice sounded over the radio.
"Yes!" you answered, hitting the button to open the aft exit hatch.
You stood up, the blanket fell off your shoulders and sent a shiver down your spine. You were still only wearing a bikini. Bending down, you picked up the blanket, covering yourself and stalking out of the plane. Bucky followed a few steps behind you.
Steve took one look at you and knew that things weren't right but he was saved the hassle of finding a polite way of letting you know how rough you looked.
"You two look like shit!" Nat appeared from behind Steve. "Why did Tony say everything was fine?"
"We got everything we needed but… the getaway was a little bumpy and my stomach didn't do so well," you pouted.
Natasha put her arm around your waist. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," she said, leading you away.
Once you were out of earshot of the boys, she rounded on you. "What happened out there?"
"What?" You are taken aback by the tone of her question.
"Come on, don't give me the innocent act. Something happened between you and Barnes."
You sighed deeply. Bucky's words played in your mind on a loop. You felt deflated. "Do you think I'm a bad friend?"
"Oh sweetie, no one would ever suggest anything of the sort."
"I said something, I knew he wouldn't like it. And he got really mad and said some really awful things."
"What did he say?"
You couldn't bring yourself to repeat his words, even though they were burned into your brain. For some reason, you still felt the urge to protect Bucky. Logically, you knew he didn't deserve it, but your heart, the stupid organ that loved him unconditionally, had more sway over you in that moment. "It doesn't matter."
You were saved from further interrogation as your stomach rumbled loudly.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up and fed. You can rest after that."
"Nat, did the intel pan out?"
"Yeah," your friend grinned at you. "You did good."
You felt a smile tug at your lips, at least you had been able to achieve something of use. Even if you had tanked your friendship in the process.
*
Meanwhile, back in the hangar bay, Steve was having a similar conversation with Bucky.
"Well I’m assuming from the way you’re both acting, something happened between you two."
"You’re a punk, you know that." Bucky huffed.
"And you’re a jerk." Steve quipped fondly.
"I was a jerk. I think I’ve ruined everything."
"What happened?"
Bucky was too ashamed of the words he had used. His soul burned with shame at the spite he had felt. He had never understood why people used the phrase ‘a fine line between love and hate’, until now. Because in that moment, for the briefest of milliseconds, Bucky had hated you; for what you’d said to him, but mostly because you didn’t love him back. He wanted to give you the world, and you wouldn’t take it. His heart was broken and you had offered to mend it, only to break it again. He would do anything to quash that feeling, shove it back inside a bottle, put a cork in it and throw it out into the deepest of oceans.
Hatred was the feeling that surrounded him as the Winter Soldier. He was hated by his keepers and hated by the world around him. Now it had crept into his soul and stained his thoughts of you. Worst of all, he hated himself for the things he had said to you.
"I think I’m going to lose her."
"Bucky, just tell her how you feel about her."
"I can’t. Not anymore, not after this."
"Bucky-"
"Would you just drop it, Steve? Why’re you so keen on this? Are you trying to get me to destroy everything so you can have her all to yourself?" Bucky rounded on Steve, unleashing his anger on the only other person who had stuck by him unyieldingly.
Steve just looked back at him, pity filling his eyes. He knew how badly Bucky was hurting. Meeting the person who you love more than anything else in life and not being able to be with them, he had suffered the same pain when he had woken from the ice, knowing that he would never get to dance with Peggy in his lifetime.
Bucky’s anger had flared suddenly and was equally as quick to dissipate, his shoulders sagging from sheer exhaustion. He had been up for almost thirty turbulence filled hours. He needed rest. Steve put a hand on his shoulder, waving away Bucky’s attempts to apologize. He guided him back to his room, requesting that FRIDAY have someone send food to his room. Steve sat on his bed, waiting while Bucky showered. Despite the powerful shower sounds coming from the bathroom, Steve could hear you and Nat talking. He couldn’t make out your words, but he heard the gravity of your tone.
"Oh Buck," he sighed quietly.
Nat left you just before Bucky came out of the shower. Bucky looked surprised that Steve was still here.
"You need to eat." Steve pointed at the meal that someone had delivered. He started unpacking it for Bucky.
"I’m tired. I should sleep," he said pointedly, indicating that he wanted Steve to leave.
Steve picked up the sandwich and handed it to Bucky. "Eat this and I’ll leave you alone."
Bucky complied. He was good at that. He finished the grilled cheese sandwich without any enjoyment, the bread tasting like sandpaper in his dry mouth. "Happy?" he asked, gruffly.
Steve didn’t answer, leaving Bucky to the solace he sought. Not that Steve’s departure did anything to assuage the guilt that had seeped deep into Bucky’s bones. He grabbed a blanket and pillow from his bed, glancing at the door, almost as though Steve would sneak back in. When no one appeared, he spread the blanket on the floor and lay down on it, closing his eyes on the world that was filled with pain.
Unfortunately for Bucky, his subconscious offered him no relief. His mind was tired, his emotions ruled the roost and left him susceptible for the nightmares to invade. They seeped in with stealth and gripped him like a vice.
It was midnight when a noise woke you. You startled, breathing heavily as your eyes darted around in the darkness, body immediately on high alert. It always took a few days to let the safety of your environment lull your body into a sense of security. You listened carefully for signs of disruption, but for several moments there was only silence. Just as your heart rate settled, you heard it again, much clearer this time and you knew exactly what it was and where it was coming from.
Without thinking, you shot out of bed and rapped your knuckles against Bucky's bedroom door. He didn't answer, he never did when he was like this. Fortunately, you were an old hat to this routine. You crouched on the floor, calling his name gently until his eyes opened. The moonlight flooded through his uncovered window and you moved to an angle where he could see you. Only when his eyes focused on you, did you touch him, lay a comforting hand on his arm.
Bucky sat up slowly, eyes filled with unshed tears as he gazed at you sorrowfully. The anguish in his face was unbearable and you found yourself wrapping your arms around his neck tightly. His arms wormed their way around your waist holding you in a tight embrace, one you never wanted to leave. His warmth, his sturdiness was your strength, your pillar. You needed him just as he needed you.
You didn't have any plans on moving and Bucky made no move to let you go, but eventually your body protested. You were sitting on your lower legs and the pressure on them reduced the blood flow leading to a painful tingling which started in your toes and was spreading upwards. Maybe a little wiggle would help restore your feeling.
Your movement didn't go unnoticed by Bucky. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking his nose out of your neck.
"My legs fell asleep," you groaned.
He chuckled in response. "Need to get up?"
You nodded, wobbling to your feet like a baby deer standing for the first time. Once you had recovered your balance and the tingling had ceased to be painful, you jumped up and down a few times for good measure. "Human body wasn't made for this. Come?" You held out your hand for him.
He took it without hesitation. "Where’re we going?"
"Not far." You led him to the bed. "I thought we'd put a stop to this." You pointed at the floor.
"Sorry," he whispered.
You sighed, jerking your head towards the bed indicating that he should get in. Dubiously he followed your instruction, relieved that you chose to get in beside him rather than running away. He pulled the duvet up to cover your legs and you sank into the pillows beside him. It was so much easier to be close to him physically than emotionally these days.
Bucky was looking at you, you could feel his gaze but you didn't return it, not knowing what to say. He solved your problem by initiating the conversation.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah. But maybe we can discuss your driving skills some time. They need some work."
"I'm sorry for…" he sighed. "For everything."
"Do you really think I'm a slut?"
"No!" His answer came back so fast, there was really no room for doubt. The way his eyes stared into yours, you could feel his regret.
After a few moments of contemplative silence you asked him another question. "Since when do you watch porn, Bucky? I mean, we used to spend all our time together. And it’s not with Steve, I know that much."
"Well sometimes, when Sam, Clint and Tony-"
"Say no more."
"I didn’t think they were realistic, but on the mission, when you started talking like that… it made me wonder if it’s real, and if I’m not doing things right. I mean, what if I’m not good enough, you know? And I was angry. I mean I know it was wrong, I knew it would hurt you. But… you hurt me and … I wanted to hurt you back." Bucky hung his head with the admission.
"I’m sorry about that… I just - it’s just, she makes me feel like I’m not your favorite person anymore and I hate that."
"You’re jealous?"
You shrug. What could you say, of course you were jealous, your insides were withering and dying from the envy that consumed you.
"But you’re never jealous of anything, or anyone!" Bucky carried on, not being able to read your expression in the darkness.
"You have to care enough to be envious of somebody."
"You care about me?" he smiled.
"If you didn’t already know that, you’re dumber than I thought."
Bucky chuckled, but it turned into a sigh. "I’m sorry for calling you a slut."
"I’m sorry for mocking your girlfriend. Just so you know, Priya seems like the kind of person who will let you know if she isn't pleased. Can't imagine she would just lie there and take it."
"Yeah she probably would. I guess you don’t get to her position without being able to speak up for yourself."
"Her position?"
"She just got promoted to head of pediatric surgery. That’s a big deal, right?"
The little green monster inside you growled angrily, amplifying your feelings of inadequacy. "Yeah, that’s pretty impressive," you answered softly. "Congratulations to her."
Bucky curled up beside you, burying his head against your shoulder. "Thanks, Cricket," he muttered, drowsily.
His voice was low and tired and a wave of guilt washed over you. He was trying. You could see how hard he was trying to be a good boyfriend and a good friend. "Go to sleep, Bucky."
"Night." It was surprising how quickly he fell asleep. Even super soldiers needed time to recover.
Once his breathing was shallow and even, you whispered back to him. "Goodnight, Bucky. I love you." You closed your eyes and joined him in slumberland.
*
"Jamie?"
Priya’s voice floated into your ear, waking you.
"Jamie!"
The bed shook as Bucky shot up from his position beside you and you opened your eyes to see a very pissed off looking girlfriend standing at the end of Bucky’s bed.
"Priya!" Bucky exclaimed.
"What’s happening here?" Her voice was quiet, forceful, dripping with anger.
"Look, it’s not what this looks like," Bucky protested.
Priya rounded on you. "Are you sleeping with him?"
"No, Priya. I’m not sleeping- we didn’t have sex," you said emphatically. "We just fell asleep, we were talking and it was two in the morning and..."
Priya’s eyes narrowed and she looked between you and Bucky. "Talking? At two in the morning? Steve said you got home yesterday afternoon."
Bucky jumped in, trying to diffuse the tension. “It’s not like that, Priya. Cricket was just… I had a nightmare and… well,” he shrugged. “We fell asleep. I haven’t had one in a long time. I know you haven’t seen what it’s like, and I’m grateful for that.”
Priya crossed her arms, clearly not buying it. "And you couldn’t go back to your own room after you woke him up from the bad dream?"
You could see the hurt in Priya’s eyes, and you felt guilty for being the cause of it. She had never been outright unkind to you, in fact she had tried being friendly, tried getting to know you. You were the one who had shut her out.
"For what it’s worth, Bucky is the most trustworthy person I know. He would never do something like that to you. I promise that nothing physical has ever happened between us. I’m not a slut. But, I’m going to go,” you said quietly, “let you guys talk."
Bucky hesitated, looking from you to Priya. His heart sank as he processed the words you had spoken, he knew he had hurt you deeply with his words and his heart ached with regret.
She sighed, her anger softening slightly. "Fine, explain."
Bucky took a deep breath, his eyes pleading with Priya. "I know this looks bad, but Cricket is just a friend, I swear. I would never do anything to hurt you."
Priya looked at him for a long moment before finally nodding. "Okay, I believe you. But don’t let it happen again, Bucky."
Bucky nodded, relief flooding his face. "I won’t, I promise."
You stood up, feeling like an intruder in their moment. "I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sorry for causing any trouble."
Priya gave you a small smile. "It’s okay, Cricket. Thank you for being honest."
As you walked out of the room, you could help but feel another pang of jealousy. Since Priya had come into your life, you were on the outside, always looking in. Would you ever be more than you'd always been?
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fan fiction#my best friend's girl
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Written for @steddieangstyaugust day 13: "Please, stay." I'm slowly continuing.
It was 1986, the world was ending, monsters were real, and Eddie Munson decided he'd stop running.
An improvement, right? Good for him.
Well, no. Not really. Because the not running thing was supposed to be one time only, the last hurrah before disappearing into stomachs of otherworldly bats. And that hadn't worked.
So Eddie Munson lived and had to come to terms with the uncomfortable truth that to truly change, he had to be consistent. One time was good, but his life hadn't ended, and that meant to keep working on himself.
But Eddie was tired, he was hurt, and worst of all, he was weak. He couldn't do the camraderie thing the kids and Harrington's group had going on. Good for them, he thought. They found safety in numbers. But Eddie, even though he had friends, had been taught early in his life that relying on other people was just asking for pain.
His plan was simple. Finish high school by any means necessary, pack whatever little he had, and leave for greener pastures. No attachments, not drawbacks. Wayne supported his decision, seeing how he was treated, and others didn't know he wanted to start elsewhere yet. But then came the massive fucking hiccup that threw his plan into a dumpster and then set it on fire.
Because see, Steve Harrrington turned out to be a good guy. He made Eddie laugh even when the rest of the world was dark, he protected Eddie against anyone and everyone...and he cared for Eddie. Which, okay, maybe Dustin did too, and Wayne was a miracle who didn't deserve to have his life ruined by Eddie's presence, but Harrington had no obligation, no shared hobby, he just appeared in Eddie's doorway one day and said "you look like you could use a friend." And when Eddie tried to keep his plan in motion, pushing Steve away, he looked so sad, Eddie couldn't keep it up.
It was always Steve asking him.
"Please, stay," as they fought and Eddie was about to slam the door shut and drive to Wayne's.
"Please, stay," as he got off another scathing call with his parents.
"Please, stay," as Eddie accidentally blurted out his secret, and he wondered if Steve would hate him now.
"Please, stay," as Steve interrupted Eddie's hookup with a rented movie, Eddie's favorite candies and a confession on his tongue.
Eddie didn't stop being a runner just because he said so. It was because Steve believed in him. Because he loved him. But some days it wasn't enough.
They fought again about staying in Hawkins, and Eddie had enough. He was targeted again, Wayne's trailer too, and Steve wasn't able or willing to leave the worst town in America with him. He felt trapped, needed to run, and Steve wouldn't, not yet.
And Eddie told him. He said that he only stayed because of Steve, but that if he wasn't insistent on ruining both of their lives by putting down roots in the very place that mingled with actual hell, he'd have been out of there months ago.
Steve went silent. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture that told Eddie how much he'd fucked up.
It would be okay. Steve would get over it. He'd ask Eddie to stay for a little longer and Eddie would say yes.
But that didn't happen.
Instead, Steve wiped his eyes, and said: "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being so selfish. It's okay, you can go."
Eddie never knew freedom could taste so bitter.
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hi hi sheep!! congrats on 300 followers!! 🎉🎉💕
i’d like to try my luck on the gacha for clubwear jamil please!
Floyd Leech: Slam Dunk
Hello Ian! ☆
Thank you so much for pulling on the Gacha of Love ♡ I'm sorry to say that you lost the 50/50, but congrats on getting Club Wear Floyd! Here is your card, enjoy! ♡ (Thank you Ian!! ♡ Funnily enough it landed on Kalim, but he was already requested, so I spun the wheel again and it was Floyd lol ♡)
If you would like to pull on the Gacha of Love too, you can find the event here ♡
Note: For this fic, Floyd (along with Ace and Jamil) are professional basketball players, and the Reader works at a coffee shop they frequently go to (in disguise/with their identities hidden) ♡
There was a new billboard outside the coffee shop, across the street near the high way. It was advertising a new sports drink, the sign rotating between different athletes posing with it. When work was slow, you and your coworker would look out the window, curious to see who was next.
"Ah, look! It's him! That guy you like!" your coworker shouted, pointing towards the sign. The billboard showed a tall man with different colored eyes, smile full of sharp teeth as he held the drink near his mouth. He was dressed in a basketball uniform, wearing a sweatband on his head and wrists. His jersey number and name was written below his picture, along with the name of the sports drink.
#10, Floyd Leech - sponsored by Electric
For shockingly good energy!
Your face heats up at their words, staring at the billboard for a moment before nudging their side. They laugh at your reaction, heading back behind the counter when a customer enters. You glance out the window, looking at him one last time before shaking your head, getting back to work.
It all started a few months ago, back when your coworker won tickets to a game happening close by. You agreed to go with them after their friend cancelled at the last minute, feeling bad as they scrambled to find someone. You weren't really a big fan of sports, having only seen clips online. You didn't want to disappoint them though, saying yes when you would have preferred to stay home.
The stadium was packed as you found your seats, close to the court in the VIP section. There was one player in particular you couldn't take your eyes off of, mesmerized by his skill. He was wild, unpredictable, even to his teammates. Rushing off and doing his own thing.
Your eyes would meet throughout the game, a grin coming to his face as he stared back at you. He seemed to enjoy your attention, taking the game more seriously as he continued to act out. He would ignore his teammates, making hook shots and dunks as the other team tried to stop him. He would look towards you after every basket, curious to see your reaction.
His teammates finally put a stop to it, having him sit on the bench until he was willing to cooperate. He didn't seem to mind at first, spending his time looking over his shoulder, waving to where you sat behind him. Soon he grew restless, becoming frustrated as he longed to be back on the court.
"Who's that?" you ask your coworker, pointing to where he sat.
"Oh, number 10? That's Floyd Leech, the team's wild card. He's really good on the court, though how he plays depends on his mood." your coworker responded, looking towards Floyd before focusing back on the game. You did your best to concentrate on the game too, watching a player with ginger hair slip past his opponents as he made his way to the basket.
While his teammates were good, you weren't drawn to them like you were Floyd, the image of his grinning face flashing in your mind. Sooner than you thought the game was over, watching as they celebrated their victory. Floyd's mood had improved since he was able to go back on the court before the game ended, cheering along with his team.
Your eyes meet one last time, right as you went to leave. You were surprised when he called out to you, grin on his face as he waved you goodbye.
"See ya around, Nickname~ Next game's in 2 weeks, got it?" he says, continuing to wave as he walked away. You stood there shocked as your coworker shook your shoulder, practically vibrating with excitement at what happened.
From then on, you and coworker would find tickets to each game in your tip jar, leaving you in disbelief every time you found one. The tickets were always in the VIP section, and (depending on the location) included enough money for a nice hotel and plane tickets.
You didn't want the tickets to go to waste, making sure to attend each game, taking your coworker with you. With each game was more glances, eyes meeting with grins full of sharp teeth.
You're broken out of your thoughts as another customer enters the shop, getting your attention.
"Hey, Name!" a man says, holding his hand up in greeting. He's dressed in a hoodie and sweats, a mask over his face and hood covering his hair.
"Oh, Cherry! How are you? Haven't seen you in a while." you ask, moving to prepare his order. He was a regular at the shop, always getting a latte and a slice of cherry pie. You weren't sure what his name was, but he was always nice, and seemed to enjoy the silly nicknames you would give him.
"Oh, ya know. Been busy with work." he responds, waving to your coworker as they walk by.
"Do you wanna meet Name's boyfriend?" your coworker suddenly asks, giving you a teasing look as they point towards the window. You shake your head, doing your best to deny their words as he walked towards the glass.
"Boyfriend?" he questions, confused by what they meant. They walk over next to him, pointing towards the billboard as his eyes widen in realization.
"Ah, I see..." he says, amused. He appeared smug as he gave you a knowing look, making you wonder what kind of expression he had under his mask.
"Personally, I prefer Ace" he states, heading back to the counter to get his drink and pie. He nods his head goodbye as he leaves, never able to stay long. From what he's told you his job seems pretty demanding, always away on business trips.
It's not until later that you hear your coworker gasp, looking in your tip jar to find two more tickets. Along with the tickets is someone's number, written next to a drawing of an eel ♡
𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡
#♡.sheep writes#♡.ian#♡.twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#floyd x reader
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SSR Silver - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Silver: The National Art Museum of the Land of Dawning is much larger than I had expected…
Silver: I would like to properly peruse every single work of art here. It would be nice if I do not drowse off…
???: This is a painting of a prince and princess dancing hand-in-hand in the castle hall… What a beautiful sight. I can certainly see why it would be a well-known painting.
Silver: I know this painting well. This same scene was depicted in a book I used to read all the time when I was a child.
Azul: Oh, hello, Silver-san. Are you partial to this particular tale?
Silver: That's correct. Among the piles of picture books my father would bring home to me from his travels, there was one that held this story.
Silver: I had grown to admire the prince, who would fend off his foes with his sword, that I had read it countless times.
Silver: There was a time I thought that perhaps I could develop a training regimen off of this scene, so I attempted to dance as he did.
Azul: Hmhm, so you looked to emulate the prince from the story.
Silver: Yeah, at the time, I believed that in order to grow even stronger, I would also need to learn how to dance.
Silver: I would prepare a dressed log as my partner and spin around in circles…
Silver: I would practice tirelessly while some forest critters would look on.
Azul: You used a log as your partner…? Well, I suppose that would train up your muscles.
Silver: True, it may have resulted in some actual muscle training. And well, it did provide me with an opportunity to improve my dancing.
Azul: Eh!? Dancing with the log did?
Silver: Ah, no. My father saw I was trying to dance, and asked a certain person to teach me properly…
Silver: That person said, "A fine opportunity for you both to learn to dance." My father and I ended up both receiving instruction.
Silver: It was only for one day, but it was a fantastic lesson.
Azul: I wouldn't think that only a single day of practice would allow you to increase your dancing ability…
Silver: Do you think so? I always believed that I had improved much thanks to that single day.
Silver: I ended up having a wonderful time while dancing, and during the middle of it all, all of us couldn't help but laugh and enjoy ourselves.
Silver: Before I had realized it, we were standing beneath a starry night sky. We were having such a good time that none of us had noticed how much time had flown by.
Azul: Hm. Well, they do say that enjoying something is the quickest way to improve yours skillset, so perhaps that is why.
Silver: Yeah. Toward the end, my father started to dance some moves I had never seen before, so we tried practicing that as well.
Silver: But it was a rather difficult dance, with footwork and headbanging too quick for the eyes to follow. We did our best to follow but to no avail.
Azul: Footwork and… headbanging? I feel as though that has drifted further and further away from the prince's dance you were initially studying.
Silver: Not at all. I am sure that training also contributed to improving my dance ability.
Silver: I truly did feel thankful that I had received the lessons that I did, when I attended the party on campus.
Silver: If there is ever another opportunity in the future, I would like to be able to dance with everyone.
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Silver: This is a painting of the Sea Witch. I heard that she would help merpeople in need… However...
Azul: It is also said that she would grow to enormous size in order to reprimand any merfolk who broke their contracts.
Azul: That she would strictly admonish dishonest people in order to better them just shows yet another aspect of her overwhelming compassion.
Silver: The strictness is to help them improve… Ah, I understand now.
Silver: Azul… I would like to ask you one thing, but are you any good at alchemy?
Azul: Alchemy? Yes, I would say it is one of my best subjects. What about it?
Silver: To tell you the truth… I do not do well in alchemy.
Silver: I have a hard time staying awake, not only in the lecture portions of the class, but also during practical applications…
Silver: I've over-heated ingredients, burnt cauldrons, and caused numerous other concoction failures.
Silver: If this were to continue, it could result in a terrible accident one day.
Silver: That is why I try to take more care in this class than I do in others… But I only continue to fail.
Azul: …I see? Well, that sounds like quite a predicament! If you'd like, I would happily listen to your woes!
Silver: So you'll hear me out? This is about what happened in alchemy class last week.
Silver: That day, I was able to weigh out the ingredients, adjust the heat properly, and even concocted the potion to the textbook specifications.
Silver: The final result was exactly what was asked of me.
Silver: I was even proud of myself for receiving a "Good Boy" from Crewel-sensei… Or so I thought.
Azul: Hmm…? But that's not the whole story, I presume?
Silver: Right. When I opened my eyes, there was no potion in my hands.
Silver: Instead, Crewel-sensei was standing before me with a furious look. "I see the little mongrel has finally awoken." He said.
Azul: Ah. I think I see where this is going.
Silver: I had fallen asleep again. My successful potion was all a dream.
Silver: In actuality, it seems I had almost fallen head-first into the cauldron as soon as we were to begin concocting the potion.
Silver: Crewel-sensei had decided that it would be dangerous to allow me to continue and carried me back to my seat…
Silver: And I was sound asleep until class ended.
Azul: It seems your drowsiness is a much more formidable foe than I had understood it to be…
Azul: I will gladly see if I can find any way for me to help!
Silver: It's enough for me that you were hear to listen. This is all due to my own shortcomings.
Silver: I'll have to take better care in the future so I may repay Crewel-sensei for his sincere admonishment.
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Azul: Oh, my. There's a painting of the Lord of the Underworld on display here.
Silver: If I recall correctly, he would often use a board game map to plan and explain his strategies to his forces.
Silver: I wonder if board games are truly a useful way to share information?
Azul: Perhaps he, like myself, would use those board games to inspire new ideas.
Silver: Inspire new ideas…?
Azul: Board games can quickly change situations from turn to turn, which in turn allows one to cultivate their adaptability.
Azul: Not only is that a useful skill for everyday troubles, but also for business management.
Silver: I see… So it is a type of training in its own right. I can understand why the Lord of the Underworld used it as well, now.
Azul: If it piques your interest, why not come and visit the Board Game Club sometime? You would always be welcome.
Silver: Is that so…? True, there are often times that I've had to make snap decisions while performing my guard duties. It may be wise to stop by for a visit.
Silver: I don't really have much experience with it, but are a majority of games played with two people like chess?
Azul: There are such games, yes, but… There are also many that allow for a larger group to enjoy themselves.
Azul: There are 3D puzzle games, in which you try to fit the pieces into a frame, or real estate trading games, in which you try to increase your assets...
Azul: I suppose an easy game that anyone could pick up would be one where you would roll a die and do whatever task given on the space you land on.
Silver: What sort of tasks would those be?
Azul: It could require them to imitate the person beside them, or drink horrible-tasting juice… My clubmates do seem to enjoy that sort of thing.
Silver: I see, so those sorts of board games exist.
Silver: That could be a viable method…
Azul: A method? For what?
Silver: I just thought that if we were to change the theme of those games, it could also be used for training purposes.
Silver: For example, if we were to have the player's tasks be "20 finger push-ups" or "100 squats."
Azul: …Are you serious?
Silver: Yeah. I often hear people say that they find it difficult to train individually.
Silver: However, if many people were to work together, I am sure they could enjoy their workout.
Silver: Whenever it rains, we in the Equestrian Club are limited in what activities we can perform.
Silver: On those days, we often resort to training individually.
Silver: So I thought that if we all played a board game together, we could enjoy that exercise together.
Azul: You've come up with such a harsh training regimen while keeping such a virtuous mindset… I find you're as cunning as they come, Silver-san.
Silver: Oh, right, when I finish the prototype, would you like to join…
Azul: Ah, pardon me. Look at the time…. I should be on my way!
Silver: I appreciate you staying to talk with me. Now, I think I'll head to the next exhibit… Ah!
Silver: This is a painting of the Thorn Which after she transformed into a dragon… I've always wanted to see this artwork.
Silver: …This wasn't part of a dream, this really happened.
Silver: What overwhelming power… I must be diligent in my training so as to not falter before a foe that could be as mighty as her.
Requested by @dida-books.
#twisted wonderland#twst#silver#twst silver#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: lilia#mention: crewel#it is assumed that silver also was talking about malleus in part 1. but he is not named by name or title.
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Pick a card: A message from your past life self! 🪦🗡
Hello darlings! Today I bring you another pick a card- I felt the need to bring out some messages. The energy today is very much revolving around death- and it's relatively natural relation to life. So today I will bring you a pick a card- with a message of what your past self would tell you! Naturally this is a general message so take whatever resonates. All the love, Elias!
Pick a pile from 1, 2, 3 or 4!
Hello, my dear self. Some day you have wondered who you are- who you should become. But I want you to know that no matter whom you try to be- or whom you'll grow to believe says the right thing- it'll always be me whom you will come back to. I'm not scary. I'm you. I like to brace the horizon- with a smile and breathe in the morning air. I'm a morning person. I used to hunt birds- for food. And... truthfully- my life was never that long. I didn't get to experience my childhood as something I cherished. This is why you're not very good with people. I'm sorry that in this life- you too- struggle with being around crowds. You do- try to. Which is more than I ever did. I was more one with animals- nature- it's why... I never really got to be together with someone. Because I spent my life alone- you might feel like everyone hates you. Or suffer from anxiety everytime you try to make a friend- with your friends- or even the people you try to date or love. I'm sorry that this part of me- lingers- but no matter how it has manifested, it is what I desired most. Sometimes lives are so crowded that you just need one where you're by yourself. I did that already. You don't need to follow my example- because I want for you to flourish and be a butterfly. To do what I haven't. To be brave. To be bold. To dare. Dream. I know you think you're alone sometimes- but you're not! The spirits of all the animals I've taken care of- protect you still! It's amazing how loyal animals are. Yes- even your last pet. I know we have a special connection to animals- I know that we sometimes feel like they understand us- feel our energy- they do- but they won't create a depth in our emotional maturity and balance much like dramatic human relationships do. If you know me- you'd wish to have a life in social circles too. It wasn't fun. And I want to brace you to feel safe. To try and feel joy. To feel happiness. Try and do it when you can. Because that- will help me- and all of us before us. I'll be here to hug you. Because I'm your greatest supporter.
Forgiveness, is what it takes. Forgive me. Forgive yourself. I'm not like you- nothing like you at all. I was vain. And cruel. And unkind. I didn't see what you see. I didn't- I couldn't. I couldn't see how people were able to be the exact same as the other- i couldn't see how every life was worth living. I killed for things. I cheated in life. I climbed the social ladders and I hurt my hands doing so. I really fell. I fell in the end and it was my ending. I didn't have a long life- because when I was found out- everything I worked for, was done for. I wanted to become better. I needed to be a better self. You don't. You don't need to do this. If you continue down this road- if you continue to try and improve- it won't make you happy. It won't make me happy either. I think it's time for us to forgive ourselves. Because sooner than later- we are all that we have. I've known this too late. Very late. You need to start appreciating the things you do have. The money you do have. The family you live with. The country you're in. The name you have been given. Consider it all. You're almost there- you're almost free of this crude self torture. Just one more step- release this attachment. Release your ideas of how things should be. Please allow yourself to just be. To just trust in me. To trust in you. In us. Trust that we can do it. That we can do whatever we set our minds to. You've inherited my determination- don't spoil it with waivering in uneasyness. Don't spoil my end- for your life to be worse than mine. Don't befriend toxic people. Don't walk towards the red flags. I need you to see. See whom you're talking to. See whom you share your mind with. See what you think of without your phone for an hour. I need you to feel yourself- to love yourself- to feel our own world is more than what you think it is and could be. Forgive me- I was never from your world- but I was the you- you needed to become whom you are now. Forgive me. I'm sorry.
We aren't the same gender. I had to start with that. I've led a completely different existence based on my social norms and whom I was raised to become. If you're a fem energy- then I used to embody masculine. And vice versa. You might feel lingering touches of me- in the way that you can embody both energies. I want to say- I'm congratulating you- because I never dared or could. I lived very rigid. In a rigid place where I was expectant to preform a role in life. To be a provider- or a caretaker. I simply obeyed that life. I simply followed the norms. I don't want you to follow any norms other than your own. I fought bravely- I died gloriously- in battle- with a strong heart or perhaps not so strong considering it caved. I loved- I loved big. You inherited this. I loved my friends. My family. I even...loved another whom I couldn't be with. That longing for someone- I owe to you to release. I didn't really got the closure I needed. I didn't really tell this person- that my heart was theirs. And theirs alone. Yes- I've had children. I've done my duty- as was expected of me, but i didn't love my partner the way I loved this star crossed romantic ideal. It was an ideal. I never got to know them personally. It didn't matter. I liked to imagine what they would be like- and somehow that image of them was enough for me. I see you- I feel you, and your life is already so much more vibrant than mine. Thankyou! I truly- honestly, can say thank you. For being authentic- for truly honouring your own feelings. It doesn't matter what you become- or whom you'll chase- in the end, you've already done what you came here to do. For me- anyway. I think you're amazing. And you inspire me- and others, so much. So so so so so much. That truthfully- you should show yourself. To everyone. Haha. It isn't scary- remember your brothers- sisters- whom fought alongside you in the trenches- whom fought with you day and night to remain sovereign- to remain equal- to gain prowess and our voice back. Hang on Soldier- you have a long road to go. It'll be glorious- I can tell you that. From my point of view- your paving the way to a dream. I'll talk to you- in my mind- my world- my time- I talk to myself often actually, haha- but you will sometimes get more from talking to me too. Just... call me a friend you once were. And I'll be a friend to you too. It'll help greatly- I am indebted to you as much. Don't worry if you're not going to do it- I'm just here to give you the inspiration you need to get out there and flourish your shiny little way around the globe.
My funny Valentine.... sweet comic valentine....you make me smile, with my heart. Listen to "My funny valentine" by Chat Baker or Frank Sinatra, because I am giving you this song as I look upon you darling. I know sometimes we don't truly like ourselves. But you don't need to become someone else to love whom you truly are. Because you already do- trust me- the whole of you- all of us- all of your lives- we love you as you are and will continue to do so fiercely. Honestly- we were wild. I was wild. Haha. I was a bit freakishly in love with everyone. Gradually- that changed a little into a more tamed version of loving and being. But you inherited a spark of love for loving. Maybe... still a little unfooted- but, priceless either way. Truly- priceless to see. I know you think some things are scaring you- but they aren't truthful. It isn't real. It's hard to have trust in that but just trust me. Trust you. I am nothing but a charmy and flourishing lovely cottonball. Haha- joking! But we all are a little vixenous sometimes, right? Perhaps you will see me when we go out, that I enter your mind more and you become more me than I become you. Channel the spirit of the sex! Baby! Who did you think you were!? Don't say you're ashamed... I was truly... a heartbreaker but I am kind? That counts for something right. Hmmmm, what to tell you. I haven't really got a message for you. To be honest I think we're currently on our recreational life. Just do whatever you want dearie. I've got no problem with it. But... do tell your mother something like- love you, when you leave. I know! People, right!? Strange creatures. But you will come to know the greatest of people. The biggest. Bestest. Friends. Ever. Haha- woooooo! I am excited already for you. Anyway- lovely for you to think of me- I always imagined myself to be a celebrity in your life so who knows!? Did we.... do it? Oh who knows! Maybe that's just a fantasy. But romantizing life is what we're made for so- go ahead. Think and imagine and write away. Poetry is lovely. I find you adorable. And if you continue- we might find some treasures along the way.
#pick a card#pick a deck#pick a pile#tarot#pick a card readings#pick a photo#reading#tarot community#past life#past lives#regression#pick a pile reading#pick a pile self#mental health
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hiiiiiiiiii
Saw requests are open and silly me is dropping innn
Kai x reader who is a gymnast and wu is like;"lowkey you should teach them how to do flexible maneuvers so they dont get slashed and diced in combat" and so basically fluff of reader laughing and teaching her unflexible bf and co gymasticism? (Not sure if that's a word)
Tumbles (Kai x reader)
Note: Hi! Thank you so much for the request, I had so much fun writing this and I hope I did your idea justice!
Summary: Sensei Wu suggests you teach the Ninja some yoga manoeuvres to help build their flexibility and, as a gymnastics specialist, you thought it would be a piece of cake.
Words: Approx. 1k
Requested: Yes.
Warnings: None
Relationship: Kai, established
Timeline: Before Lloyd grew up (Season 2)
—
You and Kai had planned to go on a date tonight. Currently, he was training at the Dojo and you were on your way to pick him up. You didn’t swing by that often but it was nice to see Dareth and whenever you did stop by, he always managed to improve his trophy collection by an impressive amount which you found hilarious.
A small bell rang above your head as you entered the Dojo and you gave Dareth a small wave as you pushed past the beaded doorway and into the training room. The sounds of the grunts and “heeyaws” that echoed through the small Dojo brought a smile to your face.
You put down your bag by the door and stood by Sensei Wu to watch the rest of the sparring match, giving the Sensei a small nod as you entered. Kai was in the middle of his match with Cole when he spotted you. You gave him a cheeky wave and blew him a kiss and just as he was about to respond Cole decked him in the face.
“Oh crap! Sorry dude.” Cole apologised immediately, kneeling down to help him up. Your eyes widened and you rushed over to Kai. Trying to comfort him, you put your hand on his back and gave him a gentle pat, although it didn’t exactly seem genuine as you stifled a laugh.
“Babe- are you– hah- okay?” A small red splotch started to form on his cheek but he played it off as if he didn’t seem phased. He pat Cole on the shoulder and brushed it off. Despite his best efforts, you could tell he was trying to suppress his pain and you knew it was to try and look tough in front of you. You’ve told him many times before that stuff like that didn’t matter to you, but it still made you feel special knowing he wanted to look his best.
“Perhaps a lesson in evasion will do you good?” Sensei Wu suggested with a small hint of amusement etched into his words. You laughed and helped Kai over to a bench. He playfully rolled his eyes as he sat down and leant back against the wall.
“I was just distracted.” Kai mumbled, gently elbowing you as you sat beside him, your arm sitting nicely around his waist. Cole chuckled and began to pack his equipment into his bag.
“I don’t know… maybe you should stop by my gymnastics class once in a while.” You teased as you playfully nudged him back. “You might be able to learn a thing or two”.
Kai groaned and leant his head against your shoulder, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand as he gave you a playful glare.
“Gymnastics?” Cole asked as he looked up from his bag. You glanced over to him and nodded with a smile. “Y’know… maybe we could learn a thing or two from you.” Cole suggested and looked over to Sensei Wu. The Sensei only tilted his head towards you in a way that silently asked: ‘are you up for it?’
—
A few weeks later you found yourself back in Dareth’s Dojo, however, this time you weren’t just picking up Kai. In fact, you were teaching him and his friends. You had agreed to help the Ninja improve their flexibility and reflexes by guiding them through some yoga poses and stretches. You had originally thought it wouldn’t be too difficult, I mean, they’re Ninja, they couldn't be too terrible… right?
Wrong.
“Is this it?” Jay asks as his neck cranes to look at you over his shoulder. His arms are all over the place and he tripped over his feet a good few times trying to get there but he managed a pretty decent Humble Flamingo pose. (https://www.pocketyoga.com/pose/FlamingoHumble)
You nod hesitantly as you approach him, watching as his eyes follow you when you tilt your head in an unsure manner. “Yeah… uhm the only thing is..” You trail off and carefully move one of his feet off of the ground.
“Wait-what?” Jay exclaims before unceremoniously falling over and onto his back, hitting the mat with a harsh thud. You wince and scrunch up your nose at the unpleasant sound as Jay groans, rubbing his sore head. You laugh softly and offer him a hand to which he swats away with a frustrated groan, laying back down on the floor with a huff.
Lloyd, who is sitting beside Sensei Wu on the sidelines, cackles. He had been lucky enough to get out of the gymnastics training today and was finding the whole thing hilarious. Throughout the whole session so far, his wheezing and muffled laughs echoed in the background as the ninja fell over again and again. After the first few falls he had stopped trying to hide his laughter and openly joked about their lack of coordination to his uncle.
Cole groans as he falls over after snickering at Jay. He lays flat on his stomach, grumbling with his face mushed into the mat. You smile and shake your head at him. You had to admit, it was amusing.
Kai laughed too, but he wasn’t doing much better. He was probably the least flexible out of all of them, barely making it this far into the lesson without receiving a fair few bruises. And despite your extra help he still managed to be the first to drop. He never complained though, which was surprising. Although, every now and then, you did see moments of frustration flash through his eyes. You snorted every time.
“I don’t understand your struggle, Jay. It isn’t a hard manoeuvre.” Zane comments, his metallic limbs allowing him to quite easily copy the poses you had shown the group. It wasn’t a surprise he was the best, still, a few particular moves had caused his joints to squeak.
“Yeah? Well, you’re a nindroid, Zane- Not all of us can just have robotic joints!” Jay huffs and sat up, looking to you for defence. You gave him a playful grin in return before wandering over to Kai.
You clasp your hands together, deciding it was time to move on. “Alright… maybe we should try something easier.” You mumble, tapping your chin. You look at Kai who smiles at you, giving you a reassuring nod.
“Finally!” Jay dramatically threw his hands in the air before standing up, cracking his back slightly as he stretched. “Ow..” He mumbles as he rubs his bruised hip.
Kai’s head whips around to Jay. He playfully elbows him, starting a minor squabble between the two. “You’re just mad you suck”
“You’re worse than me!” Jay pokes out his tongue, tackling Kai onto the sparring mat.
“Am not”
“Am too!
Sensei Wu sighs and a small, amused smile plays on his lips. Lloyd continues to laugh, his stomach starting to hurt at this point. He was practically rolling on the ground gasping for air. His laughing soon stopped however, as Cole stood, arms crossed, in front of him, casting a looming shadow across the kid.
Lloyd gulps and scrambles to his feet as quickly as he could and bolts to the door. Unfortunately for him Nya had just walked in with a plate full of fruit, blocking his escape. Lloyd groans. Nya gave him an odd look but still let him hide behind her as Cole approached, now very distracted by the food. “Why don’t you take a break?” She suggests, catching everyone’s attention and offering them her much appreciated fruit platter.
You nod and wave your hand, dismissing the session for now and smiling proudly as you watch them all scramble to get a bite to eat. Your smile grew as you felt a warm set of hands curl around your waist as Kai rests his head on your shoulder. His natural body heat never ceased to calm your nerves.
“You’re doing great.” He whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. You lean back into his embrace and sigh softly, closing your eyes for a moment.
“Are you sure? Jay seems pretty annoyed…” Your eyes flit to the blue Ninja who, now, seems to be enjoying himself as he talks to Nya. You watch as he fumbles and drops his watermelon slice onto the floor and rubs his neck sheepishly.
“He’s having fun, I promise.” Kai reassures you, giving you another tight squeeze before letting you go, though one of his hands stays wrapped around your waist as he encourages you to talk with the others.
#kai smith x reader#kai smith#nya smith#jay walker#cole brookstone#zane julien#sensei wu#lloyd garmadon#lego ninjago#ninjago x reader#fluff#ninjago dareth#dareth
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5 strategies that have improved my executive functioning in 2023
1. Preparing tasks in advance
This tip has been one of the most useful things for me to be able to actually get the things I want to do done without getting stuck in the process. I am very prone to difficulties with task initiation and task switching. Basically I've found that if I check what activities are upcoming for that day in my calendar (but you can use any task that you want to do sometime that day) then I set the task up in advance it's a lot easier to actually do the task.
So if my goal is to stream after dinner then I turn my pc on and have my setup ready to go before dinner. If I want to do a Pilates workout I set up my mat an hour before I actually want to do the workout. If I want to go to the gym I get into gym clothes at the start of the day so I don't have to change later.
I basically eliminate all the difficult prep work and then I find doing the task so much easier when I get to it.
2. Task switching when stuck
A lot of neurodivergent people have issues with getting 'stuck' or 'frozen', myself included. Whether it's autistic inertia or decision paralysis or something else it's very common to find yourself unable to do anything at all. You'll know that even if you put your phone away or stop what you're doing you'll just continue to sit there doing nothing.
The solution to this for me has consistently been to switch goal. I want to get up and shower but can't? I'll find that I can pull my laptop out and get some work done instead (and then shower after lunch later in the day). I am stuck when I want to stream? I find I can do my skincare instead (and I ended up streaming the next day).
Yes this means you don't get your original goal done when you wanted but you get something done, and something is better than nothing.
3. Task chaining
I've found that task chaining is the easiest way for me to get multiple tasks done. It's basically building upon your success. Take the example from my task switching section where I couldn't get myself to start streaming so I decided to do my skincare instead. While doing skincare I remembered I wanted to ask my brother about a particular product. So suddenly I'm capable of going to ask him about it. I couldn't even get out of bed before but now I have the motivation to move (I keep my skincare next to my bed so I didn't have to get up prior to this). After talking to him I decide I can go downstairs and make tea (something I originally wanted to do before streaming but was too stuck to do). While downstairs my mother tells me that she has a pile of laundry for me. I decide to take it back upstairs and put it away immediately. While doing so I figure I may as well sort all the laundry that's piled up on my floor as well.
I've gone from not doing anything to completing 4 separate tasks. If I wanted to get up and put the clothes on my floor away originally I'd never have been able to do it. I built on my successfully completed tasks and chained them together. Of course you should still remember to rest after chaining a number of tasks together.
4. Prioritise harder tasks earlier
I get all my energy at the start of the day and feel quite tired by the end of the day. This is how most people feel due to how our circadian rhythms function. Because of this I have found it's a lot easier to get difficult tasks done in the morning.
So now instead of trying to clean my room or go to the gym at 5pm I'll do it at 9am. I'll save 5pm for my easy tasks, things like studying Korean, meditating, studying geography, and coding. Take some time to figure out which tasks you find easy and which you find hard. If you consistently find yourself unable to do a task that's a hint that it's difficult for you. Vice versa if you're consistently capable of a task it might be a sign it's an easier one for you.
5. Using an AI scheduler
I saved this one for last, not because it's ineffective, it's actually made a huge difference in my life. But it does cost money to take full advantage of this so I put it down the bottom. Still there's a lot to be said for using an AI scheduler. I hate choosing what to do and have always preferred to be told what tasks I should do each day. It also takes a huge amount of mental energy to decide what tasks I should do when each week and organise them in advance.
Enter Reclaim, the AI scheduler of my dreams (there are lots of other ones on the market too like Motion! Take a look around and see if you can find one you like but unfortunately they all seem paid). Reclaim does have a free version but for me their paid version is necessary to achieve my goals.
I set up all my tasks and habits in Reclaim, I can customise how often I want to do things, how long they should take, and what hours I have free. Then I just check my calendar each day and see what tasks I'm meant to do. If I end up taking more time than expected I just hit the 'reschedule' button on a task and it's automatically slotted in somewhere else that week. This has definitely made one of the biggest changes to my quality of life I could probably make a whole separate post about using Reclaim.
That's all the tips that have worked for me this year so far, maybe some of them might help you!
#actually autistic#actually neurodivergent#executive dysfunction#adhd#autism#executive function#long
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Jealous Sae Itoshi x manager reader? The reader is the manager of Sae's team and Sae is in love with her. The reader is a sweet and kind manager who is nice to everyone and would help them in anything, this causes her to get lots of attention from Sae's teammates. Sae gets really jealous when his teammates try to be close to the reader. His blood boils when he sees his teammates being simp around the reader (only he can be a simp for her). He wanted her to only be with him. One day he couldn't take it anymore. He fired his own manager from his job and asked her to be his own manager.
hello! sure i can do this, sounds like such a cute idea! 🤍 also, im just making Sae’s team the u20 team because it’s easier. (^з^)〜☆ also i am very sorry for releasing this late. i have been a bit busy lately :(
miss manager
Sae Itoshi x female reader
Sae was cooped up in his office, signing away at papers with an angry and tired scowl on his face. although, the malice which was radiating off of him before had melted off as he heard two knocks on the door, followed by his sweet little manager’s voice.
well, not his. but his. you know?
“yes, come in.” he’d say, masking the happiness he was feeling with a neutral expression and tone
“Itoshi, you have a request for an interview, and the team is going to be having a group training session in a day or two. will you be able to make it? and i need your signature for this document. oh, and don’t forget to get back to me about that interview. they’re quite impatient!” your words are quick, and you pull a paper away from your clipboard and slap it right onto Sae’s desk, before you flick through the rest of the papers that are clipped onto your board.
Sae quickly signed the document, eager to do whatever you asked of him. “yeah, i can make it to the training. and is the interview necessary?” he’d inquire, sharp teal eyes looking up at you, who had already clipped the now signed document to your clipboard as you headed towards the door. “and please, call me Sae.”
“it’s not necessary, i’ll decline it. i apologise, but i need to get the rest of the team to sign a few things, give me a call if you need me!” you say hurriedly, before rushing out of the room - leaving as quick as you came.
Sae sighed.
you’re always in and out like a flash, and he barley gets to see you. you’re always busy with the rest of the team, but after a few subtle questions he found out that you’re just a busy person. how annoying. what were you doing all the time? just relax a little … with him!
the next time he saw you was in the group training session, and that was probably the first time the team had seen you in one place for more than 5 minutes.
“miss l/nnn〜” Shidou would grin, wandering over to where you were sat, calmly taking notes on the team’s improvement. “watcha’ doin?” he’d ask, leaning down to look at the notebook in your hand. it was filled with sticky notes and bookmarks, each labeled with a variety of things, ranging from wins, losses, each team member, and other things that you thought were important.
if Shidou was being honest, he had no idea why you kept that. but he didn’t care, either!
“taking notes. your skills have improved s lot since the last match, Shidou.” you say sweetly, looking up at the player as your back rested against the chair you were sat on. it was a nice setup, the team really treated you, with an umbrella shielding you from the hot sun, a cool drink, sunglasses, and some snacks.
well, it wasn’t the team. it was Sae who had done all that for you.
“awe, thank you!” Shidou would coo, making himself comfortable on the floor next to your chair. “you were watching me train, right?” he’d ask, tilting his head slightly as he smiled at you.
“i was watching everyone.” you respond simply, but keeping the sweet tone on your voice. your hand reached over to Shidou, gently scratching at his scalp to calm him down before he has a tantrum.
Sae was watching from the other end of the field, foot rested on a ball as his eyes narrowed. what was that fool doing with you? yeah, it was his break, but he shouldn’t be spending it with Sae’s manager!
“l/n.” Sae would call out to you, before kicking the ball away and walking over to where you and Shidou were sat.
you looked up from your notebook, eyes locking with Sae’s. “oh, hi Itoshi.” you smile at the man.
“hello.” he greets, sending a glare over to Shidou, who simply grinned back at him.
“hey, little manager!” Aiku would shout from the field. “watch this, it’s for you!” he’d wink, before his foot slammed down onto the ball and he… scored!
Sae grumbled something under his breath, before reaching out and grabbing your hand, pulling you up from your seat before dragging you away from the team.
“aw, don’t take her for yourself!” “where are you going with l/n?” “l/nnnnn!” “come back miss manager!”
“don’t listen to them.” Sae would huff, tugging you closer to him before walking into his office.
“Itoshi! what are you doing?!” you squeal, a hand pushing at his chest.
“how many times have i told you to call me Sae?” he’d frown. “whatever. you should be a manager for me and me alone. i’ll quit this stupid team and join a new one as captain, yeah? and you’ll be mine.”
“what? that’s absurd!” you respond, eyes widening at his words. “how would that even work-“
your voice was cut off by Sae’d arms wrapping around you, one hand on the back of your head as he (gently) pushed it into his chest.
“shut up.” he’d say simply. “please?” he adds after a moment of hesitation, suddenly terrified of the way he was going about this. could it really work? like, he literally just dragged you into his office and forcefully hugged you. maybe this wasn’t -
“alright… if that’s really want you want, i wouldn’t mind.” you say, snapping Sae out of his doubts “Sae?”
his ears perked up at the sound of his name, his arms instinctively hugging you a little closer. “yes, y/n?” why was he blushing so much after just … speaking your first name? well, you say his… so it’s only fair, right?
“can i tell you something?” your voice comes out a bit shaky, hesitant, even.
Sae nods.
“i like you.” you confess, slightly impressed with the way you managed to not stutter.
“i like you too…” Sae pauses. “but i’ll like you more when you’re my own manager.”
sigh.
#bllk x reader#blue lock#bllk x you#bllk#bllk x y/n#itoshi sae#itoshi sae x you#sae x y/n#sae itoshi x reader#sae x you#sae itoshi#sae smut#sae x reader
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HI! Love ur blog. Can I req some nsfw headcanons for Connor Kenway? ;)
Oh dear, this is the first time for me to write a whole nsfw blog and I'm so anxious about it, especially if it's about Connor. I hope I won't disappoint and thank you so much!
!!! (Warning: NSFW / not for minors / +18 content) !!!
NSFW Ratonhnhaké:ton / Connor Kenway headcanons
(During the events of AC3)
In spite of his terrifying physique and alarming gazes when he's hunting down an enemy, he can be the softest and most caring creature you'll ever get to know when it comes to him having a physical contact with you
He's so strong and able-bodied, so he can pin you to the wall with both his arms easily and you're here squirming before his huge body
When you're giving him head for the first time he'd be really concerned and anxious the whole time that you might choke. He's fully aware he is that huge
Him having kinks? I don't think so. He's an innocent boy, it's even possible for him not knowing what does the word 'kink' stand for in the first place. He could even ask you about it
"Nó:ronhkwe (love), what does the word 'kink' mean?"
"Where did you hear that from?"
But if he did have kinks, they would be the least risky and hurtful ones. Which means BDSM is a conclusive no for him
Connor is a busy man, he doesn't really have the time to have sexual and romantic relationships, he was once afraid he couldn't give his woman what she deserves. So having you would be his first. Yes, that means he is a virgin
Thus explain why he's shy and probably doesn't know what he's doing in your first time together. But he's a fast learner, with very observant eyes and sharp senses, he will take some mental notes of how to improve and get better by the time. And he definitely does
He's pretty skilled with his hands, according to training and using different weapons and managing them perfectly, so he really knows how to use them well, and he's ready to show you that in other ways than fighting, to play you like a violin, turning you into a sobbing mess
During the whole thing he will ask you some questions from time to time like 'Are you okay with this?', 'Am I doing good?', 'Do you want me to stop?' to let you know that he's wary and willing to make it as comfortable and pleasurable for you as possible
You wouldn't imagine what it's like to do it with him when he's mad about something. He turns into one brutal beast you won't be able to feel your body for a week at least
Once he's done and returns back to his senses, he will regret it immediately and keep on apologising (even if you're not really protesting), making sure you weren't badly hurt
When you're both close enough, he likes to play chasing games with you, tag for an example. He likes watching you from afar, determining your location with his secondary vision, licking his lips and eyeing you in a predatory way, closing the distance between you slowly like a vulture hunting down its prey. That's until he surprises you with a full-of-happiness giggle and hugs you. Holding you tight in a teddy bear way as if he's won his prize, whispering promises of a long blissful night to your ears
He looks like a sculpted statue of a greek god after reaching his climax. With his tired handsome face, pumped lips (more than they actually are), sleepy beautiful half-closed eyes, flushed tanned skin, tiny whines escaping his lips from time to time, sculpted flawless body and a rising and lowering sweaty chest. If he's conscious enough he would have a little wanton smirk on his lips with his eyes fixed upon you
He's the sweetest boy when it comes to the aftercare. He gives away lots of kisses and cuddles, asking you if he did well enough, could even prepare a bath for you to get cleaned up. He doesn't let you make the least effort possible. He takes care of everything himself until he finally lays beside you in bed, pulling you into his lap, fondling your hair tresses and kissing your forehead softly, wishing you sweet dreams
#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#assassins creed headcanons#assassinscreedseries#assassins creed 3#assassin's creed 3#assassins creed x reader#assassin's creed fanfiction#assassins creed#assassin's creed#assassin's creed x reader#connor kenway x reader#connor ac3#ac3#incorrect dialogue#incorrect quotes#ac headcanons#assassin's creed headcanons#assassin's creed iii#assassin's creed imagine#connor kenway imagine#ratonhnhaké:ton x reader#assassin's creed 2#assassin's creed brotherhood#assassin's creed black flag#assassin's creed rogue#assassin's creed unity#assassin's creed syndicate#assassin's creed revelations#assassin's creed 1
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The Restroom | Pierre Gasly¹⁰
Part 1 of Rooms Anthology Series
"God, I wish we were at home so I could do some terrible things to you." "What is stopping you from doing them now?"
Pairings: Pierre Gasly x fem!reader
Warnings: smut
In honor of my Pierre phase making a potential comeback, enjoy this piece I wrote in January last year (omg that was like more than a year ago tfff) French is google translated
The air was filled with the tinkling of crystal glasses and the soft murmur of conversation as you took your seat at the formal dinner event you were attending. You glanced around the room, admiring elegant decor and the impeccably dressed guests. You looked down and saw that your assigned seat was next to Pierre Gasly's.
Pierre and you had crossed paths a few times before at various Formula One events and every time it ended in the same way. You, in his bed. So you kind of formed a friends with benefits type of relationship. And you knew that this dinner was only going to get more interesting now that you were sitting beside him.
As you settled into your seat, Pierre turned to you with a warm smile, his piercing blue eyes sparkling in the dim light of the room.
"So lovely to see you here tonight," he said, his French accent adding a touch of sophistication to his words. "I must say, you look absolutely stunning this evening."
You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his compliment, grateful for the low lighting hiding your reaction. "Thank you, Pierre. It seems the universe just can't keep us apart." you replied, trying to match his charm.
Pierre chuckled softly at your response, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Ah yes, it seems fate is determined to keep us in each other's orbits," he mused, his fingers idly tracing the rim of his wine glass. "Tell me, cherie, have you been enjoying the evening so far?"
You couldn't help but be drawn in by his magnetic presence, the familiar dance of flirtation between you both reigniting effortlessly. With a playful smile, you replied, "Well, the company has certainly improved since I sat down."
As the first course was served, Pierre and you engaged in polite small talk, exchanging pleasantries and discussing your respective professions. But as the night went on, you found yourself getting more and more restless, not being able to resist a strong pull towards him. And you wanted to see just how far you could push him.
"I must admit, I've been counting down the days until I could see you again," you began to subtly touch his arm as you spoke, leaning in close to him and letting your breath brush against his ear. You could feel the tension building between you, and you knew that Pierre was starting to feel it too. But he remained the perfect gentleman, maintaining his composure and not giving in to your advances.
"Well, I can't say I wasn't looking forward to tonight as well," he replied with a grin. "But I must warn you, cherie, that playing with fire can get you burned," Pierre's warning came out in a low voice, laced with a hint of danger that sent a shiver down your spine.
You couldn't help but be intrigued by the challenge he presented, the thrill of the forbidden dancing between you like a flame begging to be ignited. You couldn't resist the challenge in his eyes as you leaned in even closer, the scent of his cologne enveloping you.
"I've never been one to shy away from a little heat," you murmured, your lips grazing his earlobe before pulling back slightly, a daring smile playing on your lips.
Pierre's expression darkened, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in your bold words and actions, sending one last warning. But you were determined to crack him. You continued to flirt shamelessly, running your hand up and down his thigh under the table, planting soft kisses on his neck whenever you could. And slowly, but surely, the playful facade he'd been trying to maintain all night started to slip away.
"God, I wish we were at home so I could do some terrible things to you," he finally answered to all your provocations, his voice a whisper.
You smirked, satisfied, and whispered back, "What is stopping you from doing them now?"
You heard him suck in his breath, your words obviously hitting a nerve. You looked down and you had what to see.
"Are those pants too tight for you? Maybe you should consider a size up for next time." you put a hand over your mouth to try and suppress a chuckle.
"For god's sake, stop talking," he hissed, running his sweaty palms over his thighs.
"Or what? Wait, don't tell... Are you going to... punish me?" once again, you put a hand over your mouth and turned your head away.
He gritted your name and shifted in his seat, his leg bouncing up and hitting the table, making the silverware clatter. That finally drew attention to you.
"Is everything alright over there?" one of the attendees asked.
"Oh, yes! Perfectly fine!" you were quick to answer while Pierre was grumbling beside you. "I could have a bit more wine, please." you raised your half empty glass and gave them your most charming smile.
"Of course, ma'am," a waiter immediately reacted, refilling your glass with a knowing smile. As the attention shifted back to the rest of the table, you turned your focus back to Pierre, who was shooting you a death glare.
"I can't believe you," he seethed through gritted teeth, his frustration palpable. But beneath the anger in his eyes, there was a spark of something else.
You leaned in closer, your lips grazing his ear as you whispered, "You love it when I push your buttons, Pierre. Admit it."
His jaw clenched, but he couldn't deny the truth in your words.
"But oh well, since I am such a brat, I'll put myself in a time out and punish me myself," you exaggerated your sigh and took your purse. "I'll be in the restroom if you need me." you said, hoping he'll catch on the implication of your words.
Once in the ladies' room, you found yourself in front of a mirror, touching up on your makeup. Just when you were finishing your lipstick, you heard the door open and close behind you. Then you heard some rattling, presuming that the person who walked in blocked the entrance and you smirked to yourself. They approached you, wrapping their hands from behind and breathing in your scent.
"Took you long enough," you remarked, zipping up your handbang.
"Do you know how hard it was to get out of there without looking suspicious?" Pierre murmured between your neck and shoulder.
"Must be tough," you commented.
In response, he turned you around and kissed you hard on the lips. He pressed himself against you to the point where he had to lift you up and put you on the counter. You wrapped your arms around his neck, drawing him closer and he gripped your knees and pulled you into him.
Time seemed to stand still as he kissed you, his tongue exploring the depths of your mouth, their motions in rhythm with each other's breaths. You moaned softly, savouring his dominance. He knew exactly what you wanted, and how to give it to you. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, feeling every muscle in his body tighten against yours.
"You ruined my lipstick," you said in between kisses.
"And you ruined my night," he replied back.
You smiled. "I thought I was making it."
He harshly pulled you down, spun you around and grabbed a handful of your hair so hard that you had to tilt your head back in reaction. You gasped out of thrill.
"You will, if you behave yourself." he gritted in your ear. "Starting now." he bent you forward, lifting your dress and caressing your bum. He wasn't doing much, but still you panted out of pleasure.
"And be quiet." he leaned to whisper, pressing himself against you, you could already feel he grew to his full potential. That made you roll your eyes back and arch your back a little.
You heard him grunt when your ass moved, but didn't let that distract him from his mission. He crouched down and spread your legs to his liking and ran his palms up and down the back of your thighs, stopping right under your ass, holding on the skin tightly.
"Damp. Pathetic." he spat, regarding your thong.
"And you're hard, how pathetic is that?" you dared to talk back.
That rewarded you with a hard slap on your ass cheek. You winced, but it was only turning you on more. Your skin burned with satisfaction and you felt he hit you so hard he left an imprint. But your body was begging for more. He rose up and pulled at your hair again.
"What did I say? Be. Quiet." he reminded. "Now, speak when spoken to, understand?" you laughed and moved your hips against him instead. He didn't seem to notice, or mind at the moment, but yanked your head back lightly. "I said, do you understand me?" he repeated.
"Yes, sir," you bit your lip.
"Bonne fille," he let go of your hair, looking down as if only now taking notice of you grinding on him and smirked. "Look at you. Can't even punish you, you're enjoying this." he steadied your movements with one hand and gripped your ass with the other. He was down on his knees again, this time pulling your panties down as well and spread your thighs open.
"Shit, your thighs are wet as well." he murmured and kissed their inner side, making his way up.
You held your breath not to make a sound. Just when he was reaching the point of your desire, he stopped and you breathed again. He then lightly ran his fingers over your center, your right leg twitched.
"Easy, baby," he chuckled. Yeah, easy for him to say. He's not the one getting teased the hell out of. His fingers pressed harder into you and your mouth hung open. You closed your eyes, trying not to think too much about it or you would scream.
"So already ready for me," he mused, slipping one finger inside. "You don't even need preparation." he fingered you with ease and you were helplessly trying to hold onto something, but there was nothing on the marble counter. You couldn't really control your body at that point and started moving on his finger on your own, but he didn't seem to like that.
"Don't move." he said once.
You couldn't stop, your body not your own. The pleasure was overwhelming and you felt the need to move, to find relief. He pushed his finger deep and curled it inside of you.
"Don't move or I'll stop." he repeated more sternly and grabbed your hips to steady them. He waited for you to calm down before rewarding you with another "good girl" and continuing to finger fuck you.
"Pierre..." you breathed, not caring if that's going to get you in trouble. Even better if so. "More," you demanded.
"More? Baby, I'm already two fingers deep in you. So needy." he shook his head and chuckled.
"What? Two?! When did the second—Oh my god." you didn't have time to gather your thoughts as you felt the third finger stretching you out and laid your head on the cool marble. You would've been a whining mess by now if you had been enabled, but for some reason you decided to obey his "be quiet" rule.
"Put your leg up for me, darling." but he already did it on his own and gave himself more access. Good, because you don't think you had any power to move. He used his other hand to draw circles on your clit. Jesus Christ. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you closed your eyes, panting.
"Are you close, baby?" he asked.
"Mhmm..." you whined.
"No, you're not." he pulled his fingers out and you saw him sucking on them in the reflection, moaning in satisfaction. That motherfucker. You watched him undo his belt and pants with just one hand with just one hand, the scene so hot it was enough to push you over the edge alone. But he did it so slowly, giving your high enough time to come down.
His cock sprung out of his boxers and god, was that a sight. He took it and brought it to your pussy, teasing you with his tip, dragging between your lips and over your clit. You straightened just enough to hold onto the edge of the counter while your head still hung low. He then teased you by putting his head in and out. You were growing more impatient and breathing became heavier and more audible. That seemed to amuse him.
"Is this what you want?" he removed all of your hair to your other shoulder and whispered in your ear while pressing his tip inside you once again.
"Yes," you muttered and he smirked.
"Beg."
Jesus. He removed himself.
"Please, Pierre..." you pleaded.
"Please what?" he grasped your hair and made you look at him.
"Please, fuck me." you could barely make him out from the haze over your eyes.
His smirk widened and he forced your head against the mirror before pushing his whole length inside you. You closed your yes and opened your mouth, but no sound came out. His strokes were deep and slow in the beginning, but he slowly picked up the pace and was pounding into you soon enough that your head hitting the mirror from the force. He fucked you so good you could cry. You did cry.
He tugged on your hair once again. "Look at yourself. I want you to look at yourself while I fuck you. Look what a slut you are. How gorgeous you are under me."
And you did. You really were. Your red lipstick was all over your chin, your eye makeup smudged, mascara running down your cheeks and hair all tangled. And he was breathtaking hammering into you. Your eyes met in the reflection and he smiled. You couldn't keep it in any longer and you softly moaned his name. He immediately stopped.
"What was that?" he asked. Fuck. You stayed quiet. "What the fuck did I say?"
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." you panted, just wanting him to get on moving again.
He lowered your leg and put your legs together, starting to thrust again. God, it felt so good. So good that your body got out of your own control again. You started shaking and trembling all over. You were biting into your lower lip so hard you could taste your own blood in your mouth. If it wasn't for that counter and him supporting you, you'd be down on the floor. That's when you let out a very loud moan against your will. Your hands immediately went over your mouth, but it was already too late. He pulled his cock out.
"Oh, please, put it back in..." you whimpered.
He grabbed you. "How many times have I had to scold you tonight, hm?" you stayed silent. "Answer me!" he shook you.
"Many," you breathed, leaning against him.
"That's right, many. And if you keep disobeying me like this, not only will I not put it back in, I will not make you cum either. Do you hear me?" he hissed.
"Yes, sir." you replied.
He took you by your jaw, turned your head to face him and kissed you. "Je t'adore tellement."
You couldn't answer him, but you nodded your head and kissed him back. He slipped it back in and your hand went over your mouth to suppress any sounds. He chuckled.
"I'll do it for you, love." he pushed your hand away and replaced it with his own. You rolled your eyes back and just let go while he hammered into you.
"Shit, you're getting tighter," he hissed. "Open your mouth for me." you obeyed and sucked on his fingers, soaking them with your saliva. He removed them and circled his arm around your legs to your clit to add extra pleasure to your reaching orgasm.
"Come on, baby, cum for me," he encouraged.
"I... I can't..." you gasped.
"Yes, you can, baby. Come on, do it."
"A little more..." you cried. "Please."
He grunted, but rocked his hips a little harder and fastened his movements on your sensitive bud.
"Come on now, baby. Cum on my cock." he gritted.
And so you did. You were finally able to let go with a suppressed cry. But then he leaned forward and said, "I want to hear you when you cum."
And with his permission, you let out a long needed moan while he still moved in and out of you.
"Atta girl." he kissed your naked shoulder. "Come here now, princess, get on your knees."
He pulled out of you and you kneeled. He towered over you with his cock in your face, jerking himself off slowly.
"Can you do it?" he asked.
You nodded and wrapped your hand around him. You gave him a few pumps before leaning forward and kissing the tip. You felt him shiver and whisper "oh my god" under his breath. You kissed his whole length and slid your tongue over it too. You sucked on the head, circling your head around it before taking the rest of it in. The tears stung at the back of your eyes when you went to take him whole.
"Jesus, baby." he breathed.
You let go and took much needed breath, but still kept close. He caressed your face, pushing your hair back.
"Look how gorgeous you are sucking on my cock. Your lips so plump and makeup all over your face. You look so pretty when I ruin you." he praised, the whole time you were looking at him with your big eyes.
You opened your mouth to take him again, slowly a first, bobbing your head back and forth, relaxing your throat to open enough for him. He kept on going how amazing you were doing, how good you were for him when you grabbed onto his thighs for support and pushed your head all the way down, digging your nails into his skin.
"Oh, shit, baby..." his voice was shaky. "I'm going to cum in your mouth." he stated.
You backed away a little and nodded. He started grunting, hissing and panting more often, indicating he was getting closer and closer. You began working him a little faster, helping him reach his sweet release. And soon enough, hot liquid oozed on your tongue while he gasped. You looked up at him and swallowed.
"Show me your tongue." he touched a side of your face and you stuck your tongue out, making him smile. "Good girl." he bent down and kissed you.
You stood up and fixed your dress, looking for your panties. You spotted them near the sink and reached to grab them, but Pierre was faster.
"Hey, give them back."
"Oh yeah, these are mine now." he said and put them in his pocket.
"Pierre, give me back my panties!"
"Nope." he already made his way towards the door.
"Come on, I can't just go back there without my underwear in this dress." you reasoned, your voice laced with frustration and annoyance.
"Hm, maybe you should've thought about that before you decided to fuck me in the restroom." he closed the door, leaving you alone with your mess.
#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly x y/n#pierre gasly x you#pierre gasly x oc#pierre gasly imagine#pierre gasly one shot#pierre gasly smut#pierre gasly fanfic#pierre gasly fic#pierre gasly#pg10 x reader#pg10#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x oc#f1 imagine#f1 one shot#f1 smut#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x oc#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 oneshot#formula 1 smut
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I mean at least with ochako, deku and shouto the author had them fight with the intention to try to save or understand himiko, tomura and touya. These characters were constructed under this little idea. But at the end none of them managed to do it and all the villains died as villains anyway and the ones that lived didn't change and afterwards the author decided to show a random kid being helped by an old lady as the proof of hero society changing or something. It felt cheap to me i guess.
"fight with the intention to try to save or understand himiko, tomura and touya" "But at the end none of them managed to do it"
...Do...do you really think they didn't manage to understand Himiko, Tomura, and Touya? Why? Why do you think that? I don't know how it could have been any clearer that understanding was achieved??
And I'm very concerned about this notion that "saving" these villains means they don't die and after surviving they completely change. Like, I'm sorry, but this confuses me the most about people who claim to be fans of the villains when they imply things like this. Think about what this would mean. Somehow these villains' grievances with society should have all been immediately and completely resolved and they change their tune like "Oops, guess I was wrong about everything ever! I love society now! Everything that happened to me was justified and I should never have complained! The heroes were right all along and I was just being silly! I will take steps for improving myself and rejoining this society that I used to hate because I mistakenly thought it wronged me!" Maybe that's not how you truly expected it to play out, but if Izuku, Ochako, and Shouto managed to talk-no-jutsu their villains in one go out of being villains, it would absolutely have come across that way. It would have been the message behind the culmination in Izuku and everyone "becoming the greatest heroes." It would have said yes, the status quo is good and correct, and people should just open up to the right people before they become villains and then they wouldn't be a problem for everybody.
What we get instead is the heroes coming to an understanding of what their villains' grievances are (again, why do you think this didn't happen?) and showing those villains that yes, there is at least one person in the world who understands them and wants to give them hope, that wants to make their lives easier. Tomura and Himiko both die with hope in their hearts. A piece of darkness inside each of the three of them is resolved by their respective heroes. Touya is granted his last wish to talk things out with his family before he dies. Himiko is faced with the question of incarceration or death, and she chooses death as a means of staying true to herself (i.e. her desire to never be caught, to live and die as she wants to). She also is able to live this new form of "love" in giving her blood to Ochako as she goes out. In destroying himself, Tomura also destroys the man who used him and was responsible for the existence of "that house" that represented all his trauma. Tomura also left a legacy for Spinner to continue in his absence and a question for Izuku to observe of society in the aftermath (which is why we see that moment with the old lady, who represented the legitimate grievance Tomura had with the society that failed to save him from AFO). All the villains maintain their LEGITIMATE grievances with society and refuse to bend to society's wishes, and thus their points, their ideals, their legacies live on. They endure within the hearts of others who are aggrieved by society, and they leave a stark impact on the heroes who couldn't change them. That's how we get Ochako dedicating her life to children's welfare. That's how we get Izuku telling all children they can be heroes whether or not they become pro heroes in the law enforcement system. That's how we get Shouto living a life where he can be and discover himself separate from the tainted legacy of his father. The lessons they take from their villains stay in their hearts forever because they are failures. Their failure was the point. They aren't perfect, they can't save everyone by themselves, they have to dedicate their lives to being the change society needs if they want to save more people, and their failures guide them in the directions where they can make that sort of impact.
Believe it or not, Crimson Riot says it best...
Yeah, that's right, the message has been prevalent in the story for a long time. It didn't come out of no where.
If the message feels cheap to you, I implore you (and EVERYONE) to engage in a thought exercise. Genuinely, try to imagine that someone in the world other than you finds the message of this story as not cheap but as earnest and meaningful and robust. Now imagine why this person would think that. What evidence is there in the manga that they would use to support it? What meaning would they derive from this ending? Try to understand the opposite point of view. Try to honestly engage with the text in this way. Horikoshi devoted a decade of his life to telling this story. Sure, some of it probably suffered from bad editing and weird changes due to elongating the story at times. It was a big story with a giant cast, and that can be a lot for any one person to manage perfectly over the course of 10 years. Maybe there are parts of the story that aren't as tight or clean as they could be. But, in good faith, please try to imagine WHY Horikoshi felt this story needed to be told. Try to imagine what message Horikoshi wanted to convey that matters to him. Don't just dismiss the ending out of hand because it doesn't immediately click for you. I think it's great you asked me about it, and I hope my answer gives you more to think about.
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