#yes i know that ewan mcgregor isn’t obi wan in the clone wars

[scribble-stars]

if i had a nickel for every time a character named satine who was the love interest of a character played by ewan mcgregor died, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice

[palfriendpatine66]

Writing Obi-Wan I got an amazing ask that has prompted your Pal to go on several rants so I’m breaking it into parts for readability.

An anon new to writing fanfic asked about characterizing Obi-Wan. They asked about his most important traits to include to really nail his characterization and most importantly:

"In particular, I'm confused about reconciling the (chaotic, dramatic, 10/10) Clone Wars happenings with the way he appears in some other stories (more, well, civilized)."

Well anon: ask and you shall receive. Find your pal’s beginner's thesis below, keeping in mind that there are many others in the fandom who are way more accomplished authors who are much better about characterization in their own works and are way more qualified to speak to this. I'm going to do my best!

I love this ask! Characterization is so important in fan fic as we take familiar characters in place them into different scenarios that we haven’t seen how they react and respond to, and yet want it to feel authentic. The best is when you read a chapter and think of course that’s how Obi-Wan would deal with this.

The first part to nailing characterization is voice. Not even the motivation aspects behind “he would not fucking say that” but I literally ask myself: can I imagine the character’s voice actually saying these things? If I can’t hear Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan in my mind speaking the lines of dialogue I’ve written, I know it’s not right. This isn’t something specific I could give you a How To on, it’s 100% based on vibe and feel, BUT. Listen to the dialogue in the movies/tcw/kenobi series. The words he uses, his cadence, his tone. Even if he's being written in an alternate universe speaking about something that canon Obi-Wan has never experienced, and never will, it should still *sound* like him. If I had to summarize his voice: civilized yes, and more mature or refined than Anakin’s speech patterns, but with the ever present threat of sass. Underlying almost everything he says is a sense of I can and will destroy you if you piss me off, so tread lightly.

That brings me to your point of reconciling the different parts of Obi-Wan. There’s a line in Stover’s novelization of Revenge of the Sith which (I'm paraphrasing) says: he’s a Jedi Master who deep down still feels like a padawan. To me, this is why he can be the cool, calm logical Jedi Master one moment and then impulsively launching himself out of windows to hang from a speeding droid the next.

He is the expert of Fake it Till You Make It. He was suddenly thrust into all these roles of responsibility before he was prepared for them, but has taken them on and is Doing His Best. He literally went from being a padawan to having a padawan overnight. He had no time to experience being responsible for himself before he was responsible for someone else. He’s the youngest member on the council and despite, you know, not being trained in the military he is like The Highest Ranking Jedi and in command of a frighteningly huge portion of the GAR. He *is* incredibly competent and good at what he does, but he feels like its a role he's acting. He is playing the part of the wise Jedi, modeling himself after everyone he respects and looks up to and thinks is doing a better job than himself, when a lot of times his personal instinct isn't to react with measured patience but rather Yeet! or Read This Bitch!

Always remember: this man contains multitudes. There is no One Right take on his personality. That’s why he’s so fun to write! And also why there’s so many different versions of Obi-Wan in fan fic, and yet most are able to feel right if they hit the voice. Authors lean into the different sides of Obi-Wan they want to bring out. Some are more into his Big Dick Energy, being a BAMF, having the answers, and being in control General Kenobi. Some relate to the more the anxious padawan desperate to prove himself. Some see the man tossing back shots in the Outlander and think to themselves “this ho has slept with half of Coruscant”. Any and all of these can feel true to the character when done from a place of love and understanding for our main man Obi-Wan Kenobi

[phoenixyfriend]

Uncle Ben and Little Luke

AKA we combine several types of time travel for maximum Soft Chaos, let’s go

EDIT NOW THAT I’VE WRITTEN THIS UP: jfc this ended up much angstier than initially intended uhhhhhhhhhh sorry

So a common enough thing I’ve seen in time travel fics is characters getting de-aged when tossed back physically, to neither the age they should be in that time, nor the age they were from the time they left, but whatever is most convenient. This is usually de-aging OT Obi-Wan into his TCW self, for reasons relating to, chiefly, removing the damage of Tatooine absolutely destroying his body alongside PTSD-driven alcoholism, but also because fic writers are horny, and Ewan McGregor playing a late-thirties negotiator is on average more appealing to people than Alec Guinness playing a vaguely feral desert hermit.

So, here’s how it plays out:

We take Luke and Ben from some point in the OT. There are a variety of options depending on how angsty we want it to be. My first instinct is ‘right after Owen and Beru die’ but I want to have that sweet angst where Luke knows that his dad is Vader and that Obi-Wan was trying to convince him to kill his own father without telling him that.

We’ll go with shortly after Bespin, and then they end up significantly before TPM. The Obi-Wan of the timeline proper is, eh, let’s say eighteen. Not really ready to be a knight, but old enough that we don’t have to worry about “if we go save Shmi, do we somehow wipe out Anakin?” which is absolutely a worry. Anakin is a toddler, and is in no place to be evil, on account of being literally two years old. He can’t even explode people with his brain yet.

Now, Ben finds himself mid-thirties, as is traditional. He’s not upset at this, because his joints hurt so much less than they used to! His knees aren’t exactly teenage-perfect, but by the Force are they better than they were in the years before he died! His hair has color! He doesn’t have arthritis! And, goodness, no physical withdrawal symptoms! The psychological aspect is still there, but nonetheless, he’s in much better shape than he last remembers being.

Luke looks like he’s about six. He was recently twenty-two. This is not an upgrade. Ben keeps having to carry him. He can’t see over the counter when they enter a bar for information. He can’t enter the bar in the first place. He’s very annoyed by all of this.

Ben is not annoyed. Ben is having a lot of emotions, actually, but annoyance isn’t one of them. He didn’t get to help raise Luke the way he might have if Anakin hadn’t lost his shit, okay, he sees a small Luke and he wants to hug him and cry.

Luke would like to be able to purchase a speeder part without the lady at the stall asking him if he needs his “dad’s” permission.

Once they figure out when and where they are, they need to decide where and how to leave. There are general shenanigans to gamble their way into enough money to hire a ship. They are in the ass end of nowhere, but definitely not Tatooine. There appears to be a jungle. There appears to be a significant variety of man-eating creatures. There appears to be a temple to the Force of questionable origin. None of this is actually helpful, except for the moment they find a “baby’s first lightsaber” in the temple.

Luke only has one hand and, being a six-year-old, his body is growing too fast for him to bother with getting a wired-in prosthesis the way he could as an adult. He can get a more basic prosthesis, but nothing that attaches to the neurons. He’ll outgrow it too fast.

He’s tiny and he’s not used to doing things with just one hand. He uses the Force to do what one hand can't, and every time someone tries to tell him he's misusing the Force he whaps them with the empty sleeve.

So, you know, they find out what year it is. Ben has a breakdown. Luke is upset that he left behind his friends. Ben admits to him that Leia was his twin. Luke stares in horror because dude, she kissed him, you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier???

Ben points out that Beru and Owen were keeping Luke away from him for nineteen years, and then they had about three days of awkward travel to find Leia in the first place, and then Ben died. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to figure out how to tell him.

(This sparks an argument that lasts several days. All onlookers assume that Ben’s son is throwing a tantrum. He doesn’t correct them, even though this is a very valid reason to be upset, because the truth is much harder to explain.)

Sooooo they travel. Mostly, Ben plays Sabacc, cleans house, and pays their way towards Coruscant. Luke still really wants to learn to be a Proper Jedi, even though Ben is pretty sure that Luke would have... a lot of difference of opinion with the Temple, but sure. Coruscant. They can at least stop by, and see Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Quinlan, and Bant, and everyone else that’s still alive and not tragically deceased in the horror following the start of the Clone Wars and then the birth of the Empire, and Ben can have a nice sob over all his dead friends being alive again.

Ben is only barely holding it together while Luke is in the room with him at any given point. But it’s fine! It’s fine. He’s fine. All of his loved ones have come back to life! It’s great! HE’S FINE.

He is not fine.

Luke is also grieving all the people who haven’t been born yet, but he’s... significantly more okay than Ben is.

The closer they get to the Core, the more often people just assume Ben is Luke’s father, and then look shocked and uncomfortable when Luke flatly calls him by his name, and they just... compromise. This is the point at which Luke starts calling him “Uncle Ben.”

Ben cries in his bunk later that night. Luke overhears it and wonders how the HELL Ben is more unstable now, when there’s a chance to fix things and no Vader or Empire trying to kill or capture both of them, and all his friends are alive.

(Luke will later learn a lot about PTSD and realize this is actually a fairly normal situation, to process significant events and emotions only after gaining safety or catharsis.)

(Twenty years on a ball of sand with an alcohol addiction and debilitating fear of the man you raised as your own brother is not, in fact, safe or cathartic.)

At any rate, they’ve settled into that pattern by the time they reach the Inner Rim. The Inner Rim is the part of the galaxy at which they’ve collected enough money (and mental stability) to travel a little better, and to take a few more risks.

Risks like “manipulate people with those baby blues.”

Ben tells Luke that he’s a menace, after he pouts so cutely that he gets a free scarf added on to a purchase that Ben makes. Luke responds that Ben has no room to talk, since he flirted a free breakfast out of that one inn owner.

Also, Luke is currently physically six. That is objectively a situation that sucks. He deserves to use it for all it’s worth if he’s stuck like this.

“You know, if you keep wearing all-black and looking longingly at the velvet cape and Space Chanel boots, the temple is going to worry that you’re a darksider.”

“Uncle Ben... you told me, yesterday, that I sparkle so brightly in the Force that it’s almost blinding.”

“Yes, but the gloves--”

They don’t agree on this, but Ben relents. He does actually understand good fashion, unfortunately, and he’s not unaware of how much Leia taught Luke about such things.

Luke’s about forty years ahead of the curve, of course, but Skywalkers are prone to such things. It’s usually in regards to technology, granted, but...

They get to Coruscant. Ben is very obviously a Jedi. He knows all the right words and walks like a Soresu master and feels warm and comforting in the Force. They let him in with minimal questions. They note down “my first padawan left the order to have a child, but died shortly after; I consider Luke here to be my nephew, and have raised him as such,” and move on.

Luke is vaguely annoyed because he already had an uncle (and aunt) that raised him, but he admits that a person can have more than one uncle. He can live with this. Ben was more family to Anakin than Owen was, in some ways, so it’s kind of true. Luke is even working on feeling more childish affection for Ben instead of the complicated mess of emotions that come from being lied to about some very large and important subjects, and then seeing the person saying those lies have regular emotional breakdowns due to something as small as Luke saying he likes the curve of the hull on that freighter.

(Apparently he sounds just like his father did as a child. This is almost heartwarming.)

The thing is! The thing. The thing is, they almost make it to the Halls of Healing to get looked over for weird viruses, or Outer Rim Parasites, or whatever the hells needs to be happening. They almost make it without Ben having a flashback to dead younglings or brainwashed troopers or the declaration of a Sith Empire. They almost make it without incident.

Then Ben sees Qui-Gon, and freezes, and does not move again.

Luke cannot get him to restart.

People are staring.

They haven’t even made it to Medical, Uncle Ben, come on.

Young, local Obi-Wan comes over and asks if there’s something he can do to help. Or maybe this “Ben” knows Qui-Gon? Master Jinn doesn’t recognize Ben, but maybe Luke knows more?

Luke does know more, but what Luke actually says is “he probably needs a mind healer.”

(Ben will not appreciate this.)

(Ben is unfortunately standing in the middle of the hallway and completely unresponsive, and is unable to argue with this assertion.)

(Ben is pretty much proving this assertion entirely correct, actually.)

Obi-Wan is helpful, if a little bitchy in the manner of most late-teens individuals, and offers to help get Uncle Ben down to the Halls of Healing. It involves Obi-Wan gently pushing on Ben’s shoulders, and Qui-Gon offering to carry Luke so he can be in Ben’s sights (because Ben is a Mystery, and Qui-Gon is quite fond of those, so he wants to stay involved). Ben kind of just... shuffles on down.

There are medical tests. They ask about how Luke lost his hand. He refuses to talk about it. They ask how Ben got all his scars. Luke says he doesn’t know. They ask if he knows why Ben looks like he’s been through a war. Luke says it’s because he probably was.

They check for foreign viruses. They find evidence of thus-far-unpatented vaccinations. They ask Luke if he knows what he’s vaccinated for.

“How would I know? I’m six.”

They agree that this is a good excuse.

(It is not. He’s lying. They do not know this.)

They do some more tests. They find a lot of questionable medical bullshit in Ben’s body. Most of this is from the clone wars, but they don’t know this. Someone realizes they haven’t gotten a ping back from the Shadow Network regarding “do we have permission to pull the medical file of a Jedi that isn’t in the normal database? We’re assuming you know who he is, since we don’t.”

The Shadow Network does not know who Ben is.

The healers, of course, go “huh, that’s weird, but maybe the name he gave his nephew was fake. We can’t exactly ask ‘Ben’ for more details right now. We already had to sedate him. Let’s check the DNA!”

The DNA pulls up as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The padawan who brought this guy in two hours ago.

“Huh, that’s weird. Let’s call in Kenobi and ask if he knows what’s going on.”

Obi-Wan absolutely does not know what’s going on.

They ask Luke.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, lying through his teeth and not even pretending otherwise.

“You’re not a very good liar,” teenage Obi-Wan tells him.

“I’m not trying to be,” Luke says. “Can you get Master Yoda? I feel like we’re going to need him.”

They normally wouldn’t get Yoda on the request of a six-year-old, but they also normally don’t have a catatonic thirty-something Jedi who looks like he’s been through a war popping up in the medical database as the pimply teenage padawan that broke his pinky trying to do a Badass Ataru Flip last week.

Or... whatever Luke i... is... oh dear.

“Young one,” Qui-Gon asks, while people whisper-shout behind him, not realizing he’s cutting the Correlian Knot and just asking the kid himself. “Do you know why your midichlorian count is so high? It’s almost unheard of.”

“Uncle Ben said my dad was the Chosen One,” Luke says, because he is capable of being a little shit and is actually really eager to let Ben deal with some of the fallout. He feels for the man, really, but he’s also tired of being the one to field every single question.

Also, the expressions that pass on Qui-Gon’s face are hilarious.

(Luke may or may not be more affected by his six-year-old brain than he would like to admit.)

“Thank you,” Qui-Gon says, sounding more than a little strangled about it.

It takes another three hours for Ben to wake up.

He listens to the questions. He hears what they say his ‘nephew’ said. He looks at Luke.

“Is this revenge for not telling you about Leia?”

“It’s not revenge,” Luke does not lie. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s pretty easy to explain.”

“It’s not my secret.”

“This is revenge for the Leia thing.”

“No,” Luke says. “Revenge for the Leia thing was when I ate a live frog in front of you.”

This is the point at which someone interrupts and points out that they appear to be stalling.

“Oh, he is,” Luke tells them. He gestures at Ben. “I can’t tell you more, because it’s more his story than mine.”

“I’m afraid, Master, that I am very likely to have an emotional breakdown if I allow myself to consider the reality of this situation for longer than the fraction of a second I already have,” Ben reports, full of false cheer. “Suffice to say, I am far from stable and have only held out this far for Luke’s sake.”

“Can you explain why you have my DNA?” Obi-Wan asks, as the person who’s most concerningly involved in this situation.

“You can,” Ben says, smiling like there is absolutely nothing wrong in the slightest, ever. “I’m you, from the future. I actually died and spent a few years dead before coming back. I’m not sure why I’m younger than I was when I died, but I appreciate being able to put on my shoes without my knees attempting to mutiny.”

“He needs a mind healer,” Luke reiterates, in case the strained grin hasn’t made it clear. “So do I, but not as much.”

“I have felt literally every person in this Temple save for Luke and Yoda die,” Ben reports, looking a shade more manic than a few seconds earlier. “It’s very overwhelming to feel you all being alive again. I may be approaching a mental breakdown, and I’ve been rather strictly advised against using alcohol to treat my traumas again.”

Luke kicks him in the thigh. It’s not a very hard kick, because he is very small, and he does actually like Ben. “I’m not letting you turn into an old drunk again.”

After several seconds of silence, a healer quietly suggests that everyone clear the room, and asks if someone could fetch Master Yoda as the youngling requested.

(THIS IS ALMOST THREE THOUSAND WORDS. I started it less than two hours ago. Why am I like this.)

[starlightrows]

Welcome back to Krax (re)Watches

Today we’re watching

Episode I and II of Kenobi

Episode I

The recap of the prequels got me. No tears yet, but close

NO! I thought I would get at least a few minutes before having to rewatch Order 66 AGAIN

Also clones. I’m crying

The inquisitors are so fucking pale I feel like they would be instantly sun burnt on Tatooine

Is… this the guy that plays Lord Varys in Game of Thrones?

I feel like this start is… kinda weak?

Prop meat that is very clearly made of styrofoam still somehow looks kinda good… I’d eat it

Oh Ewan McGregor, how I’ve missed you

We love a Star Wars poncho

Obi Wan on that commuting hella far to and from work life… can relate babe… can relate

Honestly, this is a pretty bit chin cave he’s got

And that food looks… nasty

Bebe Luke 🥹 pretending to fly a star ship…. And I’m weeping

He left in a present 😫 I’m weak

Obi Wan is so defeated… and I don’t even blame him

YES Bebe Leia is a wild child!!!!

Okay so I want that little baby droid

LEIA ORGANA, Breha did not come to play

Is he okay? 🥹

Hey, fuck you Owen…

Shit. Fuck. Okay.

Owen… OWEN… snitches get stitches bitch… don’t you be snitchin’

The awkward clunky formality of “third sister” and “grand inquisitor” is kind of annoying

Bail, still looking fine as fuck, as always

3-PO!!!!

Get him Leia! GET HIS ASS!

This little girl is KILLING it! I wish Carrie was around to see it

Bail with the good parenting 🥹

Not me getting reminded that Alderaan gets destroyed… it’s such a gorgeous planet

Shit… how the fuck did these people get close enough to the palace to have access to these woods where Leia is known to play and hide

ARE THOSE HIS ROBES?!

SHE NEEDS YOU OBI WAN

I’m fucking crying

Obi Wan Kenobi…. What the fuck is wrong with you? What good do you think you’re doing by allowing Leia, Anakin’s CHILD be kidnapped?

NO LOLA!

This person playing the bad guy… he could probably play a good Crosshair

Not me sobbing over the lightsabers

Episode II

Star Tours vibes

I’m really loving this beard

CLONE

TEM IS THAT YOU?

WHO?! WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

No one gives drugs away for free.

I kind of hope this guy is a real Jedi, pretending to be a fake

Hearing the signature inflection of Ewan’s Obi Wan voice, returning to his character is kind of overwhelming me. But in a good way

Obi Wan who doesn’t like blasters, using a blaster to gently threaten and extort a con artist.. chefs kiss

Where the fuck did you get the smock and gas mask?

Casual use of The Force to boil and explode a glass jar

Hey a Dathomirian that’s not Darth Maul. Cool!

“Well, everybody bleeds” SHIT BOY! Fuck ‘em up Obi Wan

We all thought this was gonna be about Obi Wan watching over Luke. We didn’t think it would be about Obi Wan having to deal with a somehow smaller and now female version of Anakin

Look. I’m not rooting for the Inquisitors here, obviously, but the Third Sister is annoying

Obi can’t help it. He wants to get presents for his grand Jedi babies

Sassy Leia is amazing

My mom is sitting here saying “You were a wise ass like that when you were little”

Leia sort of isn’t wrong….. Stranger danger and all that…. In the words of my favorite podcast she SSDGM’d, fucked politeness, and ran

Reva/Third Sister out here acting like Batman on the rooftops

*incoherent screaming over Obi Wan using the force for the first time in 10 years*

FUCK I bet I was right! That guy was in the know

Disney still with the mind reading…. Don’t like

No, she was a leader….. FUCK ME RIGHT IN THE FEELINGS

Lord Vader…..

So… because this is all happening in the past. I already know how Obi Wan actually dies…. I don’t care about what’s going on with the Inquisitors. At all.

AAAAAAAAGHGGHHJSJHSEHOSJWNDHDH

Thank you for join me. Come back next week for Episode III

[allthingskenobi]

Obi-Wan in Exile – Vader

(Originally published on AllThingsKenobi.com December 13, 2020)

Welcome to the first in a series of looks into Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time in exile on Tatooine between Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We’ve tried to mine as much Legends and canon material as possible to help guide you through some of the period’s most common and repetitive themes so that when the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series airs, you’ll be ready.

Not everything he ever did in the entire 19 years will be explored here, but as we said, we’ve tried our best to pick out the most prominent and impactful moments to give everyone a better understanding of exactly what one hermit had to endure out there all alone in the sandy deserts of Tatooine.

While Vader himself was not a common reoccurrence throughout Obi-Wan’s exile, the threat of him certainly was…well until now that is. As Vader so often does, he’s recently made his way back to the forefront of the story and will seemingly loom very large over the upcoming series, thus moving us to start with exactly what that might mean for Obi-Wan and how it might work with the canon boundaries we currently have. Yes, we understand that canon can change and probably will, but we do love a challenge.

“Vader,” Obi-Wan muttered. “Vader’s alive.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Let’s start at the beginning. We have one instance in Legends where we see Obi-Wan learn that Vader survived Mustafar and it comes mere months after his exile on Tatooine begins. He first hears the name “Vader” mentioned again on the HoloNet during one of his trips into Mos Eisley and nearly faints before panicking to find a way to take Luke and run. (1) This early recognition seems to be reconfirmed in later canon as one of Ben’s greatest fears in the third year of his exile continued to be “sand crunching beneath heavy black boots, a dark cape billowing in the desert squall, the mechanical wheeze of a respirator.” (2) So will we see Obi-Wan only just learning of Vader’s fate in the tenth year of his exile? I’d say that’s highly doubtful unless the show provides a flashback for us—which we will gladly accept.

“Instead, Padmé was dead and Obi-Wan was running for his life, as stripped of everything as Vader was. Without friends, family, purpose…”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

At the same time, Vader was also very convinced that Obi-Wan was still alive and would remain so despite his greatest efforts. Because if there was one thing Vader was good at it, it was holding a grudge like he held a lightsaber, and he would expend quite a bit of energy over the 19 years between episodes III and IV searching for his old Master. (Just ask anyone he comes across in the comics.) Oh, and let’s not forget that it’s also Vader who would later inform a disbelieving Tarkin, in no uncertain terms, that Obi-Wan was still alive and on the Death Star. (3)

“No, I can’t [leave],” Ben said, firmly. “I must be here.”

KENOBI BY JOHN JACKSON MILLER L

“The core of Anakin that resides in Vader grasps that Tatooine is the source of nearly everything that causes him pain. Vader will never set foot on Tatooine, if only out of fear of reawakening Anakin.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Now that we’ve established that they both knew of each other’s survival, it begs the question as to why their paths never actually crossed in 19 years. Personally, I think it’s fairly simple: Obi-Wan would never leave Tatooine and Vader would never go anywhere near it. We will discuss Obi-Wan not leaving Tatooine more in-depth at a later time (and yes, we know what Ewan said about having a ‘rollicking time’), but Vader would canonically never visit his home planet until well after Obi-Wan and Luke were both gone. (4)(5) And by then it was much too late.

That brings us to the most recent ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ news and how that fits in with what Legends and canon have told us so far. We received a lot of exciting and thought-provoking announcements in a short amount of time, and frankly, our minds haven’t stopped spinning since. Could the show undo what we currently assume to be true? Yes. Could the show work within those same parameters? Also, yes. Do I personally have any idea what’s going to happen? No. DO I THINK THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT? Y E S. The goal of this exercise is to simply try and reconcile the new details to the existing Star Wars lore because I think that’s what makes it interesting. So you can take it or leave it. The choice is yours. (Until it isn’t because the show has aired and this is all pointless.)

HERE WE GO.

“[Deborah] Chow confirmed that audiences will “definitely see Obi-Wan and Darth Vader get into it again” as we see the blue blade of a hooded Obi-Wan clash with the fiery red blade of Darth Vader.”

“McGregor knows the battle will be eagerly anticipated, and he’s looking forward to performing it just as much: “Having another swing at each other might be quite satisfying for everybody. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we’re going to enjoy making it.””

DEBORAH CHOW AND EWAN MCGREGOR DURING THE DISNEY INVESTOR’S REEL

Not only was the “Hayden Christensen returning as Darth Vader” bombshell dropped in our laps, but we were also fed the above morsels (not once but thrice) and told to digest them. Our first reaction was a hearty and well-deserved cry of rejoicing until the realization of what this could all mean set in and it turned into a hearty and well-deserved sob.

There’s hardly a way to be disappointed in the fact that we will see Ewan and Hayden not only together again, but “getting into it” as well, but we do have to wonder what this means for the moment where Obi-Wan and Vader face each other again on the Death Star. The moment is not only pivotal to Episode IV, but I would argue, the entire saga. And it’s made even more impactful by the fact that the two men have not physically confronted each other since their fateful battle on Mustafar.

What we do know, and that which should not change, is that Vader never knew where Obi-Wan was hiding nor that he had Luke, his son, with him. That tells me two things: whatever kind of “rematch” happens here does not endanger Luke’s safety in the long run nor is it probably something that would occur more than once. I think what we’re going to see happen is isolated and “unexpected,” occurring only once ten years into Obi-Wan’s exile.

You: But, All Things Kenobi, if they could never physically meet on Tatooine or elsewhere, then what does this all mean??

Us: Do we look like Deborah Chow or Ewan McGregor? Do we have all the answers for you? NO! But can we try to help ease your mind until the show airs and I’m proven all sorts of wrong?? YES! SO PUT ON THAT TINFOIL HAT AND LET’S DO THIS!!

“I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do.”

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI C

Instantly our minds turned to these two particular comments from Vader in Episodes IV and VI. They’ve always stood out as peculiar, demanding explanation, but even more so now. The first is a vague, open-ended statement that leaves us to assume they hadn’t met again since they parted on the slopes of Mustafar. The second is a seemingly wistful reminiscence of a memory Vader has of his old master.

Luke had just finished making a heartfelt plea for Anakin to remember his “true self” then says, “come with me.” Where did Obi-Wan make the same appeal to only be shunned by Vader as well? Is it possible the series will show us this after all these years and possibly solve the riddle of both enigmatic statements at once? Is it possible that any such conversation might quickly devolve into another lightsaber-fueled clash??

“Count Dooku was Yoda’s apprentice.”

“And Count Dooku has fallen to the dark side.”

“All of us have apprenticed to Master Yoda.”

“He cannot be held accountable for Dooku’s descent.”

“But they are connected. Profoundly.”

THE CLONE WARS 6×11 “VOICES” C

A distinct bond exists between each Padawan and Master and unfortunately that bond does not disappear when one or the other becomes a Sith Lord. Despite the bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin being firmly closed at both ends, there’s no doubt that a presence remains. And even the most sturdy walls might crack from time to time.

Even after 19 years apart, Vader is quick to recognize when Obi-Wan is nearby and goes so far as to know his intent. “Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone.” And he’s right. (3) As for Obi-Wan, the Force has plagued him with dreams and visions, even showing him “a limbless wreck hanging in a bacta tank, necrotic skin pallid and scarred.” (2)

Could their strong connection be the vehicle that allows Obi-Wan and Anakin to confront each other once more? Within the Force they could not only converse, but we could also see them “take another swing” at each other without any physical consequences no matter who “wins.” The mental toll would also make for great drama for both men and bring a new perspective and emotional weight to several scenes in the Original Trilogy.

“If you loved me, Obi-Wan, you would have killed me.”

STAR WARS: DARTH VADER 24 BY KIERON GILLEN C

Finally, it’s quite possible that Obi-Wan might not physically be involved at all in their “rematch” and it might be entirely from Vader’s perspective. One theory could be as simple as the fact that Vader once had a training droid whose deadliest combat setting took the form of his former master. (Oh, Anakin.) (6) Another theory, and a much more likely one, could be that Vader has a Force vision or dream that allows him to recreate and relive various moments between himself and Obi-Wan, including, but not limited to, another lightsaber battle. This would be interesting to witness as every time it occurs, it means that Vader is wrestling with Anakin.

Although the Obi-Wan that continues to exist in Anakin’s psyche doesn’t seem too different from the real thing, just imagine Ewan McGregor getting to play Obi-Wan from Anakin’s point of view…I’ll just drop my mic there.

Star Wars: Darth Vader 24 by Kieron Gillen (2016) C

Star Wars: Darth Vader 5 by Charles Soule (2017) C

Citations:

(1) Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno L

(2) “Time of Death” – From A Certain Point of View by Cavan Scott C

(3) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope C

(4) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2016 by Kieron Gillen C

(5) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2020 by Greg Pak C

(6) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (2008) by Haden Blackman L

[angelqueen04]

So, yeah. This happened. And that. And OMFG, that too.

Look behind the cut if you’d like to see my screaming about the first two episodes of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Sooooo, yeah. OMFG. It happened. Obi-Wan Kenobi starring Ewan McGregor and his Fabulous Hair has reappeared on the screen in the first time in, like, nearly 20 years. Did I scream into my couch cushion? Yes. Did I freak out about things other than Ewan McGregor on my screen? Yes, that too. Was still the most important thing on my screen Ewan McGregor on my screen? You bet your ass!

I will say, the prologue itself made me break down crying. Because of course we’re going to revisit the Jedi Temple during Order Fucking 66 again. Of course we are. But the younglings were going to hide. I take this to mean one of two things - that they were able to give the clones the slip and hide out somewhere on Coruscant and it will come into play later on in the show, or these younglings are meant to represent the younglings who made it up to the Council chamber to hide there until a certain someone found them...

So, here we are. Ten years after The Worst 48 Hours of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Life When His Brother/BFF/OTL Destroyed the Galaxy on Account of Being Sleep Deprived. It’s clear Obi-Wan has not entirely recovered from those harrowing hours. He still suffers from Heartbreaking Nightmares about it (though, sadly, these Heartbreaking Nightmares do not double as Shirtless Nightmares - though at least we got a few Ankle Flashes so we can’t complain *too* much).

I admit to being a little confused that the Inquisitors are so well-known in the galaxy. It’s been a few years since I watched Rebels, but my impression was that they were not exactly a household name, but I could be wrong. But holy shit, these guys are not fucking around, and they’re not even looking for Obi-Wan (except for Reva, anyway). And holy shit, we came *this close* to seeing Uncle Owen getting shanked ahead of schedule! Eep!

I loved how they showed us 3 separate scenes of Obi-Wan working at his job, showing the bland repetitiveness that has become the majority of his life, and how he still does manage to find small ways to break up the monotony. And OMG, I totally recognize that toy spaceship! Owen may have put his foot down for now, but we all know it will still end up in Luke’s hands! Happy shrieking for that minor point of continuity! *beams*

And then there was Leia. I am completely in love with our little spitfire of a Princess. She’s an adventurer, a wanderer at heart - something she comes by honestly. Loved getting to see her with Breha and Bail (OMFG IT WAS JIMMY SMITS HE WAS HERE TOO *CLINGS*), and seeing something of her life on Alderaan. I just about broke down into tears (again) when Bail and Breha talked about how one day Alderaan would one day be Leia’s to lead... Damn it Star Wars, why do you take every opportunity to stab me in the heart?

But perhaps one of the best things was that Obi-Wan Kenobi joined the ranks of so many people who just fall face first into taking orders from Leia Organa. Leia looks at the gloves, Obi-Wan says no. Leia puts the gloves on, Obi-Wan hands the stall owner a few more credits without another word. *cackles* Oh, and the moment where he took a few seconds to say a few words about Padmé and how Leia reminds him of her without speaking her name also made me tear up.

Oh, and Reva stabbed the Grand Inquisitor. Just throwing that out there. So that means either it wasn’t a fatal wound (which ensures that he lives to die when Kanan and Ezra blow him TF up a few more years down the line), or this Grand Inquisitor isn’t the same Grand Inquisitor of the Rebels era. But when Obi-Wan is standing on that little shuttle, in complete utter shock, ignoring Leia asking him if he was okay, as it all runs through him. Anakin is alive. Anakin is alive and has been hunting him for the past 10 years. Anakin is alive, and has been walking around the same galaxy as Luke and Leia and holy shit Obi-Wan is freaking out. Hopefully when he drops Leia off on Alderaan, Bail and Breha give him a few tranquilizers to calm him TF down. 

And Hayden was there. MY OTHER BAE WAS THERE AND HE’LL BE THERE MORE IN THE WEEKS TO COME OMFG.

And another last thing: Temuera Morrison’s oh-so-brief cameo of a down-on-his-luck clone made me sob. It’s so indicative of how terribly the clones were treated by the Empire. Used up until they were no longer useful and left to beg on the streets. FUCK YOU SHEEV PALPATINE FUCK YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS. But also, Obi-Wan’s face when he spotted the clone. There had to be so many flashbacks going through his mind - of Cody, of Rex, of all the other clones he’d known, how things ended... and yet Obi-Wan still gave some of what few credits he had. This to me highlights the kindness of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He will help even those who have wronged him.

I’m sure I’ll be back to rewatch these over the weekend. BECAUSE OMG MY BAES ARE BACK.

[starwarsaddiction]

The spider web

Ok, i’m trying again. It’s mostly an exercise for my cruncky written english, so forgive me for all the mistakes i surely made writing this shit. I didn’t even have a plot, it all started with the nice pic of Ewan McGregor, that made me think about a very uncomfortable Obi-Wan, so don’t expect it to go any direction. It’s merely a writing exercise, but of course, comments and corrections are very welcomed. I wanted to write something about how relationships are viewed in the Jedi Order, without some of my most dreaded misconceptions about jedi being cold and incapable of love.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There, again. He wasn’t even trying to be uncospicuos.

“Anakin, for good’s sake.” Thought Obi-Wan, watching his former Padawan flirting with Padmé, at the Chancellor party after the Opera, just weeks after the battle of Geonosis. He had to wear one of those uncomfortable civilian suit, and his lightsaber was in a pocket inside the jacket, instead of having it at his belt, as usual, and he felt out of place, almost naked. Leaning on the side of the door to the terrace, with the wind of upper Coruscant muffling the sound of traffic outside, he felt a bit lost, and Anakin was making a fool of himself, in the middle of the party. But trying to stop, in that moment, would just resulted in an unpleasant discussion, late that night at the Temple, and he had enough of bickering with Anakin, that day. 

They already discussed about the opportunity to attend the party, and both Obi-Wan and the Council tried to talk the Chancellor off from that idea of the party, thinking that there was absolutely nothing to celebrate, at the beginning of a war that nobody wanted, but Palpatine was sure it was a way to reassure people that the war would be easily win and everything was as always. But all the Jedi had a very bad feeling about that. Discovering a huge clone army, in the same moment when Dooku displayed his droid army, was a clear sign that this war would be all but short. 

Obi-Wan sighted. He knew how dangerous it was for Anakin to pursue any kind of relationship with the Naboo Senator. If only she was a Jedi herself, things could be easier. The rule was against attachment, not against relationships, and mostly the Council agreed that the biggest problem came when one of the person involved didn’t share the sentimental education that the Jedi Order gave their children. Padawan were taught to speak openly about their feelings since childhood, to masters, to counselors, between themselves, the aim being to be able to rationalize emotion and deal with them without being clouded and misguided. When padawans hit their teen, or the developmental age in which hormones started to rush and was almost impossible not to feel a strong urge to discover love and sex, they were guided through relationships, learned to talk frankly with their partners, so that any problem and eventual breakups were less painful possible, and no bad feelings could develop. As an adult, a jedi could freely choose to be entirely celibate or to have relationships, and if the partner was a jedi too, it wasn’t much of a fuss. Mostly, it was an open secret that a lot of couples existed inside the order, nothing to make a show off, but neither to hide. 

Having a relationship with someone outside the order, on the other side, was a completely different thing, and often it was a total mess. Obi-Wan knew it well. 

Satine... her face never left his memory, and he could recognize he had a faint feeling for her, after all those years. Mostly because they had to depart. She was the next Duchess of Mandalore, he was a jedi. She wanted, kriff, she needed someone able to stay with her, to fight with her, to be... a partner. She even stated it, but she never asked him to be her partner. Had she asked... Obi-Wan knew that his answer would be yes. He’d left the Order, for her. With no remorse? That was entirely another question, with no easy answer. But a choice had to be made, there was no other way around. 

And that was where Anakin was having hard time to understand. That boy, kriff, that man didn’t understand that his master attempt to talk about Padmé was not an intrusion, was real concern. Obi-Wan was extremely worried, he tried to tell him that he, or anyone in the Order was more than willing to help him, but Anakin had the same problem since they found him on Tatooine, and that was the reason Master Yoda was so wary of the Chosen One. His tendency to hide his feelings, to storm out of a room, trying to convince everyone and himself that he was good, and he knew what he had to do, was a wall behind he was almost out of reach, even for the people who loved him most. 

If there wasn’t a war in sight, maybe Obi-Wan could just shrug it off as a thing to work with Anakin, in time, with the mental space his former padawan needed to mature more, but it wasn’t the moment. Not if they must be ready to leave Coruscant in any moment to fight a war where they could die in any moment, and with thousands of innocent lives, men built to be meat for the war, to watch upon. Clones deserved better, they needed a guidance able to remember that they were people too, and not machines to be used and discarded. They were slaves, in a sense, and Obi-Wan remembered the cold shivers he had on Camino, when he discovered them. It took all his training not to scream, when he saw all those kids, the apparent age of Anakin when he took him as padawan, all with the same age, learning war tactics and fight, and all those man, the same face again and again and again, ready to fight for a Republic that didn’t even know they existed and didn’t care for them. It was so much against all his deep beliefs and faith in the light side of the Force that he still feared the fist day of war, when he’ll be asked to guide them in battle. How could he, let all this men be killed in a war that was so clearly sensless, from the start? Satine was a pacifist, and they mostly agreed that war or conflicts were to be avoided til the last chance, that negotiation where always the best option. He wasn’t maybe so extreme as her, he agreed with Qui-Gon that some forme of defence was needed, but never offence. 

This war? Was really necessary? Weren’t they hardly failing already, as a democracy and as a Order, to let things slide so far. 

Another headache. 

Obi-Wan picked another glass of that sweet golden wine from Alderaan that smelled like flowers and remembered that there was no good in worrying about the future. Only the present, the Living Force. He almost felt the hand of Qui-Gon on his shoulder. Sometimes he had the impression that his late master whispered some wise words in his ears, but it was just grief and memory, he knew. He breathed deeply a couple of time, before drinking. 

Tomorrow. He’ll talk with Anakin, trying to put some good sense in that rocky head of his, but for now he was done. He went to the Chancellor to give his respect before leaving and headed to the Temple. 

Anakin saw him leaving. A pang of guilt hit him, he even thought to go and tell him something, maybe just that they would talk the next day, but Palpatine choose that moment to put a hand on his new prosthetic hand. 

“My boy!” the old man said, smiling. “I hope you’re enjoying this little party. And you look very handsome in this suit, much better than those baggy jedi suit. You should always dress in black, it suits you, you know! Don’t you agree, Senator Amidala?” He asked, looking at Padme and noticing that faint blush that colored the former Naboo queen, as she looked to Anakin, and smiled more. “I wish the jedi could lend you to us” he said, waving the hand to the hall full of people “more often, you’re our hero, you know! But I guess that being a jedi means sacrifice, isn’t it?”

Anakin nodded, smiling and exchanging a brief look with Padme, and they both looked away, a bit awkwardly. The thought of Obi-Wan was almost obliterate, just a distant worry behind the curtains. 

Palpatine smiled. Adulation was the right weapon, with Anakin. Oh, he knew it very well, afar form his former master and in the middle of coruscani jet set, Anakin was at his weakest... how easy it was! Palpatine had almost hard time restraining himself from laughing hard. 

The spider web was in place. 

[friendlyneighborhoodamara]

Star Wars Movies Ranked (Best to Worst)

It’s been a while since I’ve seen all the movies, so I’m going off memory.

(Also, if you’re upset about the prequels’ low scores, allow me to elaborate: the prequels honestly have the best story ideas of any SW movie, it’s just those ideas are executed poorly.)

(Also, I know that there was 0 consistency to the length of each mini-review.)

1. The Force Awakens (2015): I adore this movie. Almost everything is perfect. The protagonists are all likable and surprisingly layered and interesting, Kylo Ren (pre-TRoS) is the best movie villain, the old characters play roles in this story that make sense and aren’t just here to be pandering, the effects and lighting are beautiful, the action scenes are fast, hard-hitting and exciting (that lightsaber duel in the wintry forest is my third favorite duel in the series!!). This movie ... it’s a masterpiece.

This would have gotten a perfect score if they leaned into the First Order as the alt-right to the Empire’s Nazi Germany angle, because I feel they’re too strong here. Maybe limit their power so they can only destroy cities instead of galaxies? Also replace the laser on Starkiller Base with fleets of MASSIVE Rathtars, because that’s cooler. Otherwise ... this film is wonderful.

Go watch it. That’s not a request.

- Score: A

2. The Empire Strikes Back (1980): Shorten the Hoth sequence and this film is basically perfect. I feel sorry for any poor soul named Luke who was subjected to jokes about their name, though.

- Score: A-

3. Return of the Jedi (1983): The Jabba sequence is fun, if a bit long, don’t @ me. Every thing else is great. The effects have gotten way better and we get to see the fruits of Luke’s training and maturation as a Jedi.

- Score: B+

4. A New Hope (1977): This movie always gets me in a good mood. I love how it feels less like a summer blockbuster action movie and more like a light-hearted fantasy movie; less MCU and more Wizard of Oz. While the story is one of the most naked attempts to ape on Joseph Campbell I’ve ever seen, it remains entertaining more than forty years later. Special effects are a sight to behold too.

- Score: B 

5. The Last Jedi (2017): 

Rian Johnson gets way too much flack for this movie. He did his best to make a subversive, audacious take on a Star Wars movie, and it was - for the most part - a success. 

Of the three main plots, Rey’s story is the best, obviously. It’s fascinating to watch her develop as a Jedi, to discover Kylo Ren’s past, and to see how Luke has changed since Return of the Jedi. That being said, Finn and Rey’s adventure to deactivate the tracking device is still good (yes, I’m serious) and did develop Finn’s character arc further from TFA. Poe’s plot may have been a bust, but hey, you win some, you lose some. 

Plus, we get the same great score and effects from last time! Still needs Poe x Finn.

- Score: B-

6. Revenge of the Sith (2005): 

Best musical score and best memes of any film in the franchise. That has to mean something. But in all seriousness, this is the best of the Star Wars prequels (and the only one of that trio that I’d call a good movie). The acting, while not amazing, is a step up from the previous prequels (even if the effects have taken a nosedive). 

Similarly, the story is more interesting, although far from perfect, because Lucas made the wise decision to focus more on Anakin’s character struggle than any other aspect. You could honestly skip both of the previous films. 

Also Ewan McGregor is hawt.

- Score: C

7. Rogue One (2016): Eh. S’alright. I like the darker edge to the story, the action scenes are some of the best in the franchise, and the music is good despite not being John Williams, but the characters (sans Jyn Erso, K-20 and Director Krennic, they’re a blast) are pretty bland, in part due to the staid acting. Great effects, though.

My advice is to skip to the awesome fight scene at the end.

- Score: C-

8. The Phantom Menace (1999): This movie is bad but I love watching it (especially with friends!) anyways. The acting is the worst in the series, bar none. The storyline isn’t necessarily complicated, but because of the bland acting, it’s hard to get invested in these characters. 

For example, Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn acts with as little gravitas or energy as Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan, yet Qui-Gon is supposed to be more unorthodox and rebellious than his more conservative apprentice. The bungling of that specific dynamic is especially disappointing because it’s rare for mainstream films to have a “Maverick Master, Serious Student” duo. 

Furthermore, there’s a lot of telling and not showing: we get holographic reports of Naboo officials saying “The death toll is catastrophic”, but we never see any civilians die or get rounded up. It sucks your interest away. That being said, we got the best lightsaber fight in the series, Jake Lloyd as Anakin is the most precious bean, and Ewan McGregor as one of the hottest man to exist.

- Score: D+

9. The Rise of Skywalker (2019): This movie was actually mediocre at worst, I just hate Reylo. Also Palpatine coming back makes about as much sense as Bardock surviving the explosion of Planet Vegeta and ending up in the past.

Also needs Poe x Finn.

- Score: D+

10. Solo (2018): Boring as tar. 

- Score: D-

11. Attack of the Clones (2002): Not even the memes were good. Also the lightsaber duel against Count Dooku is awful. CGI is awful. All other criticisms from The Phantom Menace apply here

Ewan McGregor isn’t even hot, he has like weird long hair and it’s gross.

- Score: F-

[legobiwan]

I’m freaking out because i just...i’m SO psyched for the Kenobi series but i’m so afraid that they’re gonna give him a romance. I hate it because i...i just, and you’ve talked about this before, he’s he perfect Jedi. To Obi-wan, being a good person IS following the code, even after the order is gone. He wouldn’t have realistically ever left the order for kryze (even tho i don’t consider that canon that always felt ooc to me) or the others bc he’s completely devoted to the code above all else 1/2

Especially after what he saw happen to anakin and padme because of that attachment. I highly doubt he would, 8 years later, be willing to even have temptation of a romantic partner. And god forbid we hear more Rey Kenobi theories. I’m just worried Disney is going to do a disservice to his character bc hollywood HAS to have a romance plot in everything. Do you think they’ll go down that route? 2/2

So we’re dealing with a few different issues here. Let’s break this down:

“The Perfect Jedi”

Obi-wan attempts to be the perfect Jedi. He tries, oh so hard, to keep himself at that exacting, impossible standard. Of course, no one is the perfect Jedi - not Obi-wan, not Yoda, not Mace Windu - and certainly not Qui-gon. (And yet there is something in there, the delicate balance of striving towards excellence as opposed to striving for perfection, and it is an important distinction, one that I don’t think the Jedi, as a whole, always got correct as a sense of extremism took root within certain sectors of the Order.) Now, the reason behind this predilection - well, we could point at a few factors. Obi-wan’s sense of impostor syndrome (not at all helped by one Qui-gon Jinn, who seemed to be constantly thinking Obi-wan was somehow behind on his development, as shown in Master and Apprentice.)

(There’s a whole other meta I’ve touched on regarding the whole inter-Lineage…I don’t want to use the word trauma, but let’s just say they all inherited their predecessors’ issues and manifested them very differently.)

But yes, from the get-go, it seems that Obi-wan needs to prove himself. To Qui-gon, as a Padawan. To Qui-gon’s memory, when he takes Anakin. To Anakin, to prove he could be the Master of the Chosen One. To the Council. Etc. It’s a lot of pressure on one person. And the thing is, Obi-wan cracks, more than once. His sardonic, biting sense of humor is indicative enough of his less-than-perfect adherence to the Code, not to mention all the rules he bends for Anakin, his devotion to Satine - which is an interesting case study. In the end, Obi-wan does not succumb to Maul’s taunts to go feral/Dark Side but Obi-wan’s actions on Mandalore, precipitated by his very un-Jedi actions regarding Satine, set off a cataclysm of far-reaching events. As does his refusal to kill Anakin on Mustafar, which could be construed as a wild infraction of the Jedi Code. I mean, had Obi-wan killed Anakin, made *sure* of it and not walked away, what would have happened?

And yet, he tries to do good. Even as he realizes his faults, his part in moulding galactic events. Obi-wan could have done more, could have done differently, and yet despite his awful circumstances, he never gives in to hate. He is flawed, imperfect, but still holds on to some core part of himself. And I think that core part is something…that’s not the Jedi Code. The Code, in the end, is meaningless after Mustafar. (And I really REALLY hope the series touches on this idea of loss of faith, because Obi-wan held on to the Code so tightly, as a way of justifying so many of his actions because what else did he have? And I love existential crises when they’re not my own. HA!) The Code may have been his way of telling himself he was doing good - was doing what Qui-gon wanted, what the Council wanted, what was best for Anakin…but I wonder when Obi-wan sat down and thought about what he wanted for himself? Without expectation, without other people’s narratives. (Okay, so I may be projecting a bit here.) 

I’m getting off-topic here. Would Obi-wan have left the Order for Satine? No. He would have thought about it, fantasized about it. But at that point, he would have been too wrapped up in expectations to actually do anything about it. And by the time the Clone Wars came around? He was too responsible, too enmeshed. And…you know, I get it. I’m around Obi-wan’s age in TCW/RotS. There’s so much narrative to unpack in your life, so much expectation that you can internalize or throw away and whose story is it anyway? Those around you? Your own? Some odd mixture therein? But Obi-wan wasn’t ready to let go of that narrative, of those expectations, of the ghost of Qui-gon and so, no, he wouldn’t have left the Order. But there would be nights, those nights. When the lights have dimmed in the quarters on board the Star Destroyer, when the company you keep is an empty durasteel table, half a bottle of Corellian whiskey, and twenty years of what if…

But you were asking about romance, about attachment. (So often conflated, although never one and the same. Or perhaps they are different terms for the same idea, not love in the carnal sense but illogical devotion to someone or something. I always like the idea of there being many words, ideas for love, as the Greeks made popular in our culture. Love, or attachment to an idea or a thing can be just as wonderful, as intoxicating and dangerous as it can be with a person.) 

Realistically? An Obi-wan set adrift in Tatooine might get attached, despite everything. (The novel Kenobi does a fantastic job of illustrating this.) We yearn for connection, and someone who has all but cut themselves off from interaction with other beings…how long can you hold out? 

This isn’t to say I would support a full-fledged typical Hollywood romance in the series. Because honestly? Not the time or place. 

Now, if it is something where Obi-wan feels a connection with someone and then purposefully acts against it? I would be okay with this. As it would be in service to the idea that he is (tragically) cutting himself off, believing himself to taint others, to be less than. And given the trajectory of recent streaming, I’m more confident than I would have been a few years ago that a series can do without a “typical” romance. (Which…thank the gods for that development. I don’t mind natural romance (I’m looking at you, Good Omens), but the shoe-horned heteronormative plots I was forced to endure through the 80s, 90s and early 2000s were…tiring, to say the least.)

We’re in a new era now, with these streaming services, with the impact fandom has on media, with social mores changing for the better, in my opinion. (But seriously, it’s wild for an old fogey like me to watch unfold. A little weird, I’m not going to lie, but on the whole, a positive development.) I’m going to put my faith in a few things, including a) Ewan McGregor wouldn’t have signed on to this if it weren’t going to be something interesting and nuanced (and gods know he held out long enough, so I’m assuming the man has standards) and b) Disney wants our wallets and has a pretty good grasp of its demographics (probably a scarily accurate grasp, but that’s another story for another time), so I’m not too worried about a prototypical romance plot.

Now, as to Rey Kenobi theories, I have to admit, I enjoy them, only because I’ve been struggling for more Kenobi content recently. I doubt that’s the route they’ll go down, especially in light of all the rumours circulating about Episode 9. And so, in the end, what I hope (and believe) we’ll get is a very human story about a man who tried to live by a narrative and failed, and tried to reconstruct himself not totally escaping the chains of those events and people, but still trying to do good.

[starwarsopinion]

‘Star Wars Fatigue’

Before we begin, I would like to say that this is my opinion! It is NOT my intention to insult or, in any way, hurt anybody’s feelings, but alas, it’s impossible for everyone to agree on everything. Somebody’s bound to get their knickers in a twist. So, I’m just going to apologize in advance to everyone who find the following displeasing.

As you may know, there has been a lot of talk about the so called ‘Star Wars fatigue’. I personally don’t find it surprising. Ever since Disney purchased Lucasfilm in October 30, 2012 (for $4.05 billion, mind you), the Star Wars franchise has gone downhill. One would expect Disney to treat such a beloved franchise with love and respect. But we fans don’t always get what we want, now do we?

Now, some might argue that Star Wars was already ruined by the prequels. I say that’s bullshit! I was but a little girl when I first saw all the movies, prequels first and then the originals. And I absolutely love all six movies! My favourite one as a little girl was the Phantom Menace. I know that might sound crazy to some, but as a little girl, I could really relate to young Anakin. Also, I found (still do) Qui-Gon Jinn so calming and great mentor! He has such a beautiful voice. It was perfect casting, and while we’re on topic of perfect casting, let’s take a look at a couple of other great casting choices: Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu are freaking perfect! I honestly can’t imagine anyone else playing these characters!

These characters, along with an infinite list of others, made a huge impact on me. They were well-written, relatable, lovable, and what’s more, the main villain was someone you could actually hate with every fiber of your body and soul. I don’t thinks there’s a single fan out there who wouldn’t love to throw Palpatine/Darth Sidious off a tall building. (Of course, I may be wrong.)

Now that I’m almost 21, I’ve fallen in love with these movies, and the franchise, even more. That is, until Disney came and fucked it all up for me. I don’t hate the new movies. I just don’t like them. They don’t feel like Star Wars. They feel like feminist propaganda, because let’s face it, there is a clear agenda behind practically all Hollywood movies these days, Captain Marvel for one, but I’m not going to talk about that. wanting and supporting female and LGBT+ rights is fine, but please, for the love of all that is good and pure, DON’T FORCE IT IN TO MOVIES!!

Marketing a leading female character as a ‘strong, independent female’ is downright obnoxious! These are strong words, but it’s my opinion, as a woman! Some people have been wrongly accusing men for outright female-hatred. I’m not saying that there isn’t men in the world who hate women, because there are, just like there are women who hate men. I’m saying that most men don’t hate women and have absolutely no problem with female characters, whether in leading role or a supporting role or as a random background character.

People like me who have a problem with today’s film-industry, specifically with how female role’s are being marketed, are not bad people. Some have said that if Alien had been released today, Sigourney Weaver as Ripley would have sparked out same kind of negative reviews as, say Captain Marvel and Rey. This is not true simply because Ripley had not been portrayed, at any point, as a ‘strong female character’. And that’s why she is an iconic character. Even I know her even though I’ve never actually seen the whole movie.

My point is, people would be much happier, more open-minded if we weren’t told beforehand how and what to think of a character. Let us make up our own minds! Rey was marketed over and over again as a ‘strong female character’ and that’s what I expected to see in the movie, but when I saw The Force Awakens, I was brutally disappointed. Instead of a character I could relate to, I was given a mere shadow of what she could have been. I find Rey incredibly annoying. Of course, there are a lot of issues with the new movies, but this would get out of hand if I started to write about that as well...

I brought up the ‘Star Wars fatigue’ and as Mark Hamill himself has said, yes it is possible it exists. The conversation of the topic was fueled by Solo’s bad performance in the box-office, which, in my opinion, is due to the hate The Last Jedi got. I don’t hate the Last Jedi, but I certainly don’t like it. I hate what they did to the character of Luke Skywalker! It’s not right, fit or proper! As for the Solo, I actually kind of liked it. Sure, it has some issues as well, but compared to Force Awakens, Last Jedi and Rogue One, it was pretty damn good.

Cinemablend made a poll about ‘Star Wars fatigue’, and by the time I answered it, the results were as follows:

44% said that they aren’t as excited about the franchise as they used to be, whereas 33% said they are still excited about the future of Star Wars. 23% (that includes me) said they have mixed feelings and 2% said ‘other’. Now, I have mixed feelings because I still love Star Wars and I’m kind of excited to see the new movies, but at the same time I’m terrified. What if it gets worse? Rogue One is, in my opinion, the worst Star Wars movie ever made. I had been wondering for so long how the Rebels got the schematics of the Death Star, and that’s what Disney came up with?! What the hell?! It was garbage and garbage won’t do! Again, I know that many enjoyed that movie, no offence intended. This is my opinion that I’m entitled to have!

So yeah, I’m not as excited as I used to be about Star Wars, but man was I hyped when they saved the Clone Wars! Though that was clearly a political stunt to get some of the fan base back and excited on something that so many love.

I have one final point that I’d like to share with you:

Disney’s Star Wars: Episode VIII.V - All The Projects Blown Away Like Alderaan.

LucasArts was working on Star Wars Force Unleashed III video-game and what did Disney do? On April 2013 Disney shut down LucasArts, fired several of its employees and canceled several of its projects. So, no Force Unleashed III, no ending for the Starkiller’s story-arch, no amazing video-game what so ever. This sucks because I really liked those games. I want to know what happens to Rahm Kota, Starkiller, etc. But I’ll never get my answer. Because the games, the comics, the whole Star Wars Expanded Universe, or Legends, is no longer canon. Disney just picks bits and pieces and makes their own stuff.

And these are some of the reasons I have felt ‘Star Wars fatigue’and why I think Disney Ruined Star Wars. This has been a long rant. But I just wanted to get this off my chest. As we can establish, the phenomenon that is known as ‘Star Wars fatigue’ is quite real and Disney really needs to take it in account.

Hope you guys enjoyed this, sorry if I offended anyone and may the Force be with you! :)

@madamrogers 

[valkblue]

4: yes you can repeat those already mentioned in the other ask

12: which *isn’t* a mandalorian, I know you’d be friends with mandalorians 🙄

18: knowing it happened to come into your life on *several instances*, I guess there’s something to tell

20: which *isn’t* a mandalorian, I know you’d have a mandalorian as a pet 🙄

27: MARBLED OR SCRAMBLED PLANETS ONLY EDITION 🤯

29: and what would you use more with them for 🤔

4. (I guess you mean 3., as I already answered 4. on the other ask, and I know you'd never ask for 5. 🙃) Favourite character from Prequals?

Shmi. This character breaks my heart, and I low-key understand Anakin for going banana on the Tuskens because of what they did to her. She was the sweetest, an incredibly coureagous woman and a good mother. She's the real victim of that whole story.

Padmé. I loved the plot twist about her being the real queen, her outfits were all incredible, she's smart and resourceful. Her 'romance' with Anakin feels a bit cringe at times but, eh… (They are a bit less irritating in RotS.)

…and Larry Obi-Wan, too! I honestly loved that we get to see that iconic character in his youth. (And Ewan McGregor was the best casting choice!)

12. Which character would you be friends with?

No Mando?! 😲

… Jolee Bindo. Maybe Bail Organa. And Peli Motto. 💕

18. How has Star Wars impacted your life?

True… 😩 I'd say it impacted my life A LOT. And even if I've distanced myself from it for quite some time before going back to it happily, it was a good kind of impact. Still is.

I could tell the full story of it all but it would be pages!!

20. What type of pet would you have?

No Mando either?!?! 😱 Ok…

27. Top 3 planets to visit?

You serious?! 😂 Ok, let's do this…

Alderaan, of course. 💔

Taris…? The design of the top levels is super cool.

Telos… but before the bombing and the attempt of the Ithorians at teraforming it back to life.

29. Which character doesn’t get enough credit or screentime?

Jango🔥 I would probably add a few scenes before and after Kamino, to create more narrative weight around Boba and all my babies the clones, and what it means for the Republic, if not the Jedi.

[aomoviegeek]

What I think Disney & Lucasfilm should do with Star Wars Episode IX...

This was actually a reply to @themandalorianwolf’s post, but because it was so long, I decided to make it its own post.

Here we go...

I don’t honestly think Rian Johnson’s trilogy was a Disney decision.

Here’s how I think things went down:

Things happen months, even a year before things are announced.

Kathleen Kennedy is clearly attached to Rian Johnson and greenlit his trilogy based off the hype some time ago.

Kathleen Kennedy wasn’t checking in on her projects. Remember the Solo problem? Kathleen didn’t even realize how much trouble the production was in till late. My guess is that TLJ controversy of Rian throwing out JJ’s outline went unnoticed until it was way too late or it wasn’t addressed. It was actually only Rian who did that. The original ep 9 director followed JJ’s outline.

Meanwhile Disney realized after the creative conflict between Rian and Colin, the test screenings showing mixed reviews, Rian’s inflated ego and the cast’s low moral, Disney made the choice to hire JJ back in hopes of salvaging their future.

Disney isn’t stupid. They’re one of the riches companies on the planet. They’re willing to play the long game. Disney let Kathleen Kennedy hang herself and now she’s slowly being fazed out. Rian Johnson is going to lose his trilogy. At best his trilogy will be one movie that is pushed back for some time and die there.

Disney is banking on the success of Episode 9 and here’s my guess on what JJ will do Generally:

Luke Skywalker will return. The PR of killing him was a nightmare and it will probably be retconed with a force teleport. JJ has plans for Luke and I doubt there done.

Finnrey will become canon. The only thing that has stayed a constant was the relationship between Finn and Rey.

John Boyega’s increased popularity, the racial backlash, John’s moral being higher, and JJ’s preceded writing style, Finn will be the lead again and more than likely a Jedi since it was foreshadowed.

Ep 9 will be broken into a 2 part movie to finish the saga of the Skywalkers. One movie will work like the Clone Wars while the other part will be the official closer.

Rey Skywalker will more than likely be a thing. It’s the eaist thing to do and let’s Disney bring Daisy Ridley back as the wise Jedi Master in future movies.

Honestly due to Kylo Ren’s popularity, and the First Order in general, I’m not sure if they’ll kill them off indefinitely. More than likely make some of them disappear into the unknown regions.

Leia…I’m not sure. There’s no good way to handle that. Maybe she’ll be made the Chancellor between the time skip to explain her absence.

The Resistance will just merge back into the New Republic and get their allies from independent factions.

The Skywalker saga will end and probably this will be the ending of trilogy based Star Wars films and just movies like the Avengers.

- @themandalorianwolf

This is gonna be a long post…

I would absolutely 100% love it if they split Episode IX into two parts. Part I in 2019 and Part II in either 2020 or 2021. Why? Because this really might be the only way the sequel trilogy can be properly concluded. There’s WAY too many loose ends and unanswered questions to wrap into one film. They need to take their time with the storyline of Episode IX. I say split into two films, put out Part Iin 2019, surprise us with a Part II announcement and then we’ll wait a year or two to see the official conclusion to the sequel trilogy and possibly the Skywalker Saga as well. And then we’d have 10 movies in the Skywalker Saga instead of 9.

That would be amazing if they brought back Luke, not as a Force Ghost, but alive and well in the flesh. If Jedis are able to teleport themselves as a hologram to other planets, they probably should be able to teleport themselves physically. He just left his robe behind.

FinnRey definitely must be canon!

I repeat - MUST BE CANON!!!

John definitely deserves the spotlight back and I hope JJ can make that happen. Making him Force-sensitive with the potential to become a Jedi would be amazing and I hope we see that as well.

And Finn’s family: If Billy Dee Williams is returning in Episode IX, I honestly think it would be cool if Lando was revealed to be Finn’s father. Then we could get a very emotional, heartwarming father/son reunion and a great setup for Finn’s story in the film.

We could find out that Finn was kidnapped by the First Order when he was a baby and his mother (who was also Force-sensitive) was killed trying to protect him while Lando was too injured to save them and the loss of his son & wife left him traumatized and depressed for years. Hell, maybe Captain Phasma was the one who killed Finn’s mother!

Unless Phasma somehow returns in Episode IX alive and well and more badass than ever, I think Finn would be satisfied to know he avenged his mother’s death without even realizing it. But if Phasma returns though, Finn will be ready for her. Imagine it: A real, totally-badass final battle between Finn and Phasma. Maybe even with an unmasked Phasma. I think that would be extremely awesome.

Rey Skywalker must also be canon.

I repeat - MUST BE CANON!!!

Luke returning physically would also be good for this reveal. It’d give him a chance to explain to Rey, in the flesh instead of a Force Ghost, about his behavior in The Last Jedi, why he never told her the truth, who her mother was, etc. This would also be a great opportunity for Hayden Christensen to return as the Force Ghost of Anakin Skywalker so that he’s there to defend Luke and help explain the truth to Rey.

This would set up a great new storyline for Luke & Rey in Episode IX and maybe, with all that’s happened, he’ll agree to actually train her. And maybe he’ll train Finn as well.

This HAS to happen!

Something else I’d love to see canon: Kaydel Connix to be revealed as Han & Leia’s daughter and Kylo Ren’s sister

This HAS to happen!

I honestly believe this is the best way possible to pay tribute to Carrie Fisher and keep her legacy going both on-screen and off-screen.

And it also allows Leia’s half of the Skywalker bloodline (as well as Han Solo’s bloodline) to continue through Kaydel while Luke’s half continues through Rey. Luke’s daughter and Leia’s daughter keeping their family’s legacy alive, even if Episode IX marks the end of the Skywalker Saga and we never see that family on the big screen ever again.

I would love it if we found out Kaydel’s real name is Breha Solo and Rey’s is Padme Skywalker. Then Leia would have named her daughter after her adoptive mother and Luke would have named his daughter after his & Leia’s mother. Plus, to me, Ben and Breha Solo sounds fitting together, much like Jaina and Jacen Solo from the Expanded Universe.

I would also really love to see Kaydel take over for her mother as General of the Resistance… or the Reborn Rebellion, whatever they wanna call themselves now.

Maybe she could also find a way to combine her alias with her birthname as a way to honor her parents. Maybe she could call herself Kaydel Solo or Kaydel Connix Solo, make Breha her middle name and then her new full name would be Kaydel Breha Connix Solo.

Also…

PONNIX (Poe x Connix)

Just like Finn & Rey, I love these two characters together and I was happy to see them have some screen-time together in The Last Jedi. And if Kaydel is Han & Leia’s daughter, it makes this romance even more interesting.

Darth Vader tortured Han Solo (in The Empire Strikes Back) and then later he became his son-in-law. So now, Kylo Ren tortured Poe Dameron (in The Force Awakens) and later on, he becomes his brother-in-law. Crazy, isn’t it?

Also, given the relationship between Leia and Poe, it would be very interesting for him to become a part of her family. Her son-in-law.

And eventually, Finn, Rey, Kaydel and Poe will all be a family. Rey and Kaydel could even form a strong sisterly relationship (something I’d love to see happen) and their future children could call them “Aunt Rey”, “Aunt Kaydel”, “Uncle Finn” and “Uncle Poe” (that’d also be easier than calling them cousins like in real life).

Also, since it’s rumored that we’ll see Ewan McGregor reprising his role as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episode IX (possibly followed by an Obi-Wan anthology film), maybe we could see… A NEW Kenobi in Episode IX?

This is definitely just excited fan talking, but I think it would be really cool to have a new Kenobi in Episode IX to satisfy those who want Obi-Wan to have a family, who wanna learn more about what he was doing on Tatooine for almost twenty years (other than watching over Luke) and just what his life was like from the very beginning.

Maybe Rey could be both a Skywalker and a Kenobi with her mother & Luke’s wife being Obi-Wan’s daughter. That would definitely explain why Rey is so powerful and make her the granddaughter of two of the greatest and most powerful Jedi Knights ever.

Or maybe Finn could be a Kenobi (for those who have not seen it, I actually have a post about that theory). Yes, believe it or not, not all biracial people have mixed skin colors. Some are darker than others, some are lighter than others. So there is a chance Finn could be Obi-Wan’s grandson and he could still even be Lando’s son. Just reveal that Lando married Obi-Wan’s daughter and they had Finn together.

Plus, we would get to see Obi-Wan’s grandson and Anakin’s granddaughter training together, falling in love with each other, teaming up against Kylo Ren & the First Order together and later marrying each other and having children together - the great-grandchildren of Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker. And if Finn’s a Calrissian as well, those kids are Luke’s grandchildren through Rey and Lando’s grandchildren through Finn. Crazy, isn’t it?

I’m honestly not counting on a new Kenobi to appear. It really is just excited fan thinking. But I think it would be really cool to have Finn be a Kenobi & Rey a Skywalker or maybe have Rey be both a Skywalker & a Kenobi. That plus Obi-Wan’s potential appearance in Episode IX would be perfect ways to launch and market a Kenobi anthology film possibly coming in the future.

……

Wow. That was a lot!

But at least it’s done.

[unexpectedreylo]

Spoilerific Thoughts On “Solo”

Rosé All Day In The GFFA!

As of writing, I’ve seen the movie twice and I really enjoyed it both times.   Forget those tales of a troubled production; Ron Howard made a solidly entertaining, fun film with lots of goodies and surprises for fans of most stripes.

“Solo” is basically a heist movie and a Marvel-esque origin story at the same time.  When we meet Everyone’s Favorite Smuggler, he’s a runaway living in Corellia’s dark and filthy underworld hoping for the big score to get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra away from their Fagin-like “master.”   We march through Han’s escape from Corellia, how he ended up with his last name, his abrupt and necessary decision to go to the Imperial Academy, his time as an Imperial officer, his first meeting with Chewbacca, and his re-entry into the galaxy’s underworld with his mentor, Tobias Beckett.  We witness his first meeting with Lando Calrissian and finding the love of his life, at least the one that isn’t a breathing person, the Millennium Falcon.  The famous sabacc game?  It’s there.  So’s the legendary Kessel Run.  All of the while, Han’s penchant for trouble and not listening to anyone but himself puts him in danger over and over.  It’s all great character development and enjoyable to watch.  But there’s more!  In “Solo,” we see the gray and topsy-turvy world of the galaxy’s criminal class.  Sometimes it appears glamorous and beautiful, sometimes it looks just like what it is:  dirty and awful.  The good turns out to be bad and the bad turns out to be good.  All of the while, Beckett reminds Han never to trust anyone.

So, you might ask, what did you think of Alden Ehrenreich?  Alden was in the same crappy position that Chris Pine was in while playing Captain Kirk in the more recent Star Trek films; it’s very difficult to step into a very famous role played by a very famous actor.  Ewan McGregor had a similar problem but because he played Obi-Wan decades younger, it gave him a lot more wiggle room to define the character himself while making it credible he and Alec Guinness were playing the same guy.  Ehrenreich and Pine were playing their respective roles less than 20 years younger than their more legendary incarnations.  That’s tough.  I’m certain some people are blowing off this film simply because they can’t accept someone else playing Han Solo.  The other side of that coin is it’s precarious in HOW you play the character.  Take on too much of Ford’s affectations, it looks like an impersonation, one that could descend into parody fast.  Completely ignore them and people won’t connect that it’s Han Solo at all.  Now, Ehrenreich doesn’t really look much like Ford.  He’s shorter, his nose is smaller, the whole shape of his face is different.  There’s only a bit of resemblance around the eyes and the makeup people thoughtfully added Ford’s chin scar.  It’s a little jarring when you realize that eventual son Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) really does look related to Ford while Ehrenreich looks like neither one of them.  My mom the movie critic, who saw the movie with me and my brother the first time, thought Ehrenreich is actually better-looking than Ford.  But (and there’s always a but) attitude can make up for a lack of resemblance.  More on that in a second.  For what it’s worth, Ehrenreich does have the right attitude.  It’s like seeing a more boyish Han, one who gets by on b.s. and bluster, who’s a tiny bit full of himself, and who hasn’t experienced a decade’s worth of betrayals yet to come and other things that made him far more world-weary in ANH.  This Han is charming and self-assured, a cinnamon roll whose circumstances define him but won’t defeat him and turn him into well, Qi’ra.  From this movie, it’s easy to see why he was drawn to Rey in TFA.  He saw a lot of himself in her.

Everyone does a pretty bang up job in the film performance-wise.  I have to say Donald Glover absolutely kills it as Lando.  Glover doesn’t really look like Billy Dee Williams but he’s got the Lando-ness down perfectly:  the smoothness, the vague sleaziness, the flair for fashion, and all around cool.  He even nailed Williams’s way of speaking without making it an impersonation.  Glover has so much charisma in the part, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him again in his own adventure.  Woody Harrelson was an excellent fit as Beckett.  Harrelson brings his own charisma and worldliness as the father figure who initiates Han into the life that as prophesized, he never got out of.  Casting him was a great idea.  Also worthy of mention is Phoebe Waller-Bridge as L3-37, or simply “L3.”  Funny and sassy, you’ll be touched by her short time onscreen.  And the mysterious Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman) who turns out to be not quite what we thought.

The surprise in this turned out to be Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra.  Of all the new characters, she’s easily the most fascinating.  She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, and tough but also a bit of a femme fatale.  She has a heart but she’s also hungry and hell bent on not ending up a Corellian street rat again.   She is what Han could have been with a few degrees of difference in his personality or more time spent a virtual slave on Corellia, what Rey could have been had she decided to trade on her looks and feminine wiles for material security from crime bosses.  The interesting thing about her is she clearly cares about Han.  I don’t know if she loves him per se but she does care about him enough to know she has to protect him from her.  She’s sort of like that old Amy Winehouse song, “You Know I’m No Good.” Paul Bettany’s character and Beckett both warn Han that he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does and that she’s done some pretty bad things.  We know for sure she allied herself with a crime syndicate that has committed atrocities and well, we find out toward the end how far her darkness extends.  She accepts Han’s affections but to a point.  Why?  She knows they can’t get attached.  At the end, when she splits in the mobile Crimson Dawn HQ, it seems to parallel the last Force bond seen in TLJ.  In TLJ, Rey has to do it for her own sake as well as Kylo’s.  In this movie, Qi’ra does it for Han’s own good.  The more he’s kept away from this stuff the better, not so much IMO she fears that lifestyle would destroy him as she realizes at some point her knife has to go between Han’s shoulder blades if he keeps hanging around.

Poor Han.  Not only can the guy never escape trouble, he’s constantly faced with betrayal throughout his life, which it is easy to see why he leans so much on Chewie.  Say what you will about Chewbacca, but he’s the one of the very few beings who never lets Han down.  Sadder yet are the implications of Han’s upbringing and his relationships with authority/father figures.  In one conversation with Lando, Han mentions his blue collar dad that he wasn’t close to.  Who knows what THAT relationship was like?  Han tells his Imperial recruitment officer that he “has no people,” so the officer christens him Solo.  (For all we know, Han’s real last name is Wallbanger or Horowitz or Seymour-Butts.)  Why Han was on the streets is still a mystery.  Did Han simply run away from home?  Was it disagreement and butting heads or was there severe dysfunction, i.e. addiction, abuse, neglect?  Did Han do something to the old man?  We don’t know and it’s not like Han to tell.  Han takes to Beckett as a surrogate father figure who of course betrays him.  Another fascinating and tragic parallel takes place near the end of the movie.  Most people pay attention more to the “Han shot first” aspect of it rather than how this scene predicts Han’s eventual fate in TFA.  Han kills his father figure just as his own son will eventually kill him.  Han of course was acting in self-defense but it’s tragic all the same.  Han’s family situation also predicts the struggles he has in his relationship with Ben Solo.  In this context it makes sense that a man who had no idea what a dad is like would struggle to be one himself, especially since he’s almost or at middle age when it finally happens.

Another thing to love about “Solo” is its careful attention to the mythos.  The film has the style and feel of Brian Daley’s novels from back in the day, while much of Han’s backstory, known to Star Wars lore fans for decades, is in here.  Moreover, elements from the expanded universe, video games, The Clone Wars, and the prequels are brought in to great effect.  Teras Kasi?  Glee Anselm?  The Maw?  Carrida?  Aurra Sing’s fate? Colo claw fish roe as an appetizer?  It’s all in here!

I will say this:  DARTH MAUL’S SHOCK CAMEO GIVES ME LIFE!!!

I blurted out, “What the hell?!”  when he turned up at the end of the film.  (I also had to explain to my brother, who had never seen The Clone Wars or Rebels, why Maul was still alive.)  A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.  That Qi’ra is working for him has a whole host of implications for her and possibilities for Maul to return in other Star Wars canon.  And yes, that’s Ray Park reprising his role and Sam Witwer voicing him.

“Solo”’s score is pretty good, a mix of original and unique music and John Williams’s classic scores.  Listen for some fun callbacks like “Asteroid Chase” from TESB.

Like “Rogue One,” “Solo” is a smaller movie than the bigger, sweeping main saga flicks.  It doesn’t have TLJ’s artistic ambitions or haunting quality.  But there’s room for a movie that’s pure fun with a few more layers than expected.

[thesffcorner]

The Mandalorian: Season 1

The Mandolorian is an 8 episode series on Disney+, written and produced by John Favreau. It stars Pedro Pascal as the titular Mandolorian who I will be referring to as his actual name, Din Djarin for the rest of this review, rather than the fan-name Mando. 

Djarin is a bounty hunter, working for the Guild in the early days of the New Republic. His story starts as he takes on an under the table job to retrieve a package; however as things tend to go in this situation neither the package nor the people who are after it are what they seem, and Djarin must decide if it’s worth risking his life and reputation to protect it.  

Before the show aired, I wasn’t very interested in seeing it; I hadn’t seen any trailers or buzz and I was still under the impression that it would follow Bobba Fett. Seeing the first episode I wasn’t sold on it either; I was disappointed that we were not following Fett, and that we were stationed after the events of ROTJ. However, I pushed through, and my opinions evolved significantly over the course of the show’s 8 episodes. 

Overall, I enjoyed the show. There were some issues, and I can definitely see areas where Favreau can improve for next season, but I think season 1 was a solid starting point. My main complaint is that the season was too short, and even at 8 episodes, it still felt like it spent a lot of time on unnecessary filler. We’ll talk more about this, and other specific issues in the episode breakdown, but if you just want my opinion on if you should see it or not with no spoilers it’s this: If you like the Clone Wars, Rebels or the Solo film, you will like this. If you don’t, you probably won’t. Take that as you will. 

So let’s get into this episodes, and I’ll end with some general thoughts and desires for season 2.

Episode 1: The Mandalorian

This episode is written by John Favreau and directed by Dave Filloni, the show-runner for my personal favorite Star Wars series, Star Wars Rebels.

We start with Djarin looking for more work from his Guild leader, Greef Karga, who offers him an extremely well paid, unsanctioned job, to track down a valuable package for some former Imperials. The man, just called the Client, strongly hints that he wants the package dead, and in return he is paying in Beskar, metal important to the Mandalorians. 

The package is located on Arvala 7 (yes, I did look that up), and Djarin gets some help on his way, from a vapor farmer named Kuili, and another contractor, assassination droid IG-11. Djarin ends up shooting IG, after the droid attempts to kill the package, which turns out to be a child, the same race as or very loved Yoda. 

If you have seen Rebels, than I think you will be very familiar with Filloni’s direction and style; unfortunately, for me this felt like one of the weaker episodes in Rebels. Even when Rebels was great, it suffered from an uneven tone; it could never quite decide if it was a kids or adult show, and as such the tone could fluctuate between really dumb and cringey comedy to serious and violent death in the span of a few minutes. 

This is no different; there is some goofy humor, some characters that straddle the line between funny and annoying, but also some darkness, and good, subtle characterization.

The biggest issue this episode has (and it’s an issue the entire show never overcomes) is the pacing. It’s at once very slow, meticulously showing the loneliness and drudgery of being a bounty hunter and extremely fast, covering important character development and plot points in  single montage.  

Perhaps this is a flaw of Filloni, because what works in animation, doesn’t always work in live action. In Rebels, we could tolerate characters like Honda, we could swallow that characters teleport around and solve season ending issues in a conversation. Live action has a lot more constraints, suspension of disbelief is easier to break, so having character relationships develop at unnaturally fast paces or condensing what should be days if not weeks in a single 30 sec montage is a bit much. 

I don’t want to make it sound like Filloni is a terrible director and this is some insurmountable flaw; Star Wars as a rule tends to not do well in developing its characters. Ever since a New Hope, where Luke was more distressed at Obi Wan dying, than his own aunt and uncle, or Leia losing her entire planet, the franchise has glossed over really important bits of storytelling (ahem, somehow Palpatine has returned).There is nothing as drastic in this episode, but it was still frustrating to have the first half of the episode so meticulously follow Djarin capturing the bounty and taking the job, and having the important parts like deciding to save the child or befriending Kuili take up 5 minutes. 

On the positives, in a short time we get a really good idea of what kind of person we are following; Djarin is impatient, headstrong, a loner, someone who is very honorable, but doesn’t like showing it. We also get a good sense of the villain; Werner Herzog as the Client is a mix of a staunch and imperial like Tarkin, while also being fascinated by cultures like Thrawn. 

An ok start the show, but definitely one of the weaker episodes in the season.

Episode 2: The Child

Episode 2 is written by John Favreau and directed by Rick Famuyiwa. After rescuing the child from the compound, Djarin finds his ship being stripped for parts by the Jawa. He goes after them, but when he manages to get to the top of their ship he gets blasted away. He has a dream about the day his parents died, and is rescued again by Kuili who offers to help him get his parts back. To do so, he must steal an egg from a mudhorn, and almost dies, except the child, using the force creates enough of an opening for Djarin to finish the animal off. 

This episode is a vast improvement over episode 1; it has more action, more character development, more intrigue and a much more even pace. It’s still a slow episode, and we don’t learn much about any of the characters, but enough of what happens kept me engaged and interested. 

However, this was the first episode where I noticed a bit of an issue with Dij Djarin’s characterization, an issue the show never really resolves. 

I think, Pedro Pascal is too old to be playing Djarin. Alternatively, the writing of Djarin doesn’t match the age and gravitas of Pascal. Let me explain. 

In episode 1 we learn that Djarin is impatient. This is fine. What is less fine is for Djarin to be brash and impatient enough to think he can a) take on an entire moving castle of Jawa by himself, b) threaten and shoot at the Jawa who already beat him once, c) tret the Jawa like pests even though Kuili and the Jawa themselves already demonstrated that they are intelligent and perfectly capable of negotiating. 

These are not the actions of a man in his 40’s who is impatient; this comes off as someone who is too big for his birches, someone young and inexperienced and full of prejudice. A Luke Skywalker or Ezra Bridger, not Pedro Pascal at the same age as Qui Gon Jinn. It’s fine that Djarin is close minded and biased against Imperials and droids; it doesn’t make any sense that an experienced Mandlorin bounty hunter could speak Jawa and yet somehow not know anything about them. 

This gets worse in the next episode where the other Mandalorians pick on Djarin and treat him like this young man who got lucky to be paid instead of an experienced warrior of decades. Even the Armorer treats him like a newbie; he doesn’t have a signet, he doesn’t have a jet-pack, and yet he’s in his mid 40’s!

Again, this isn’t just a problem of Favreau; he tends to write immature men after all, seeing as his biggest success to date is Tony Stark. It was also a problem in the prequels where I constantly got the sense that Ewan McGregor was playing a very different character from the one Lucas had written and Sir Alex Guinness portrayed. I just wish we would have gotten more reasons for why Djarin acts so inconsistently and why he’s only impatient and inconsiderate when the plot needs him to be. 

The rest of the episode is fine. I liked the dynamic between him and Kuili; Kuili himself is great character, a world weary man who has worked a lifetime for his freedom and has a deep understanding of the value of life, peace and even money. I honestly wish he was in the show more; the best scenes are the ones of him and Djarin interacting. The child was also adorable; trying to heal Djarin, protecting him from the mudhorn. It was a slow build to Djarin increasingly caring more and more about it, even though he has no idea what he’s doing. 

A vast improvement over episode one, even though it’s not perfect. 

Episode 3: The Sin

Episode 3 is written by John Favreau and directed by Deborah Chow. Djarin returns to Navaro and hands the child to the Imperials, getting a full payment of Beskar for his troubles. He asks what is to happen to the child, which is a violation of the Guild’s rules, and draws the suspicion of Karga and all the other bounty hunters. Djarin gets a new set of armour from the Armourer, as well as a new job from Karga. However he can’t make himself leave, and he returns to rescue the child just in time, as it is being experimented on. Every bounty hunter in Navaro attacks him, but the Tribe of Mandalorians come to his aid, and he shoots Karga before getting away. 

This is probably my second favorite episode of the show; it was the point where things finally clicked and I got an idea of what the stakes and the story would be. It’s a little unfortunate that it took 3 episodes for that to happen, but it’s better late than never. 

This episode brought in some more mystery about the child; we still know nothing about what it is or where it came from, other than it being around 50 years old. The Client very clearly wants the child dead, while Dr. Pershing, the collaborator wants it alive for some kind of experiment. The child really isn’t the focus in this story, even if it is what everyone wants and around which the plot revolves; the real focus is Djarin’s evolving relationship to the child and himself. 

I think this was the best development Djarin got in the season (outside of the finale); we see his slow bonding to the child, feeling guilty and upset over handing it over. His relationship to the child mirrors his own past; he was a founding, the Mandalorians saved him from the Great Purge, and he already has a history of caring for foundlings, making sure all of his extra Beskar is given to them, and essentially following the Way so he can help more foundlings. Him giving the child away is a direct betrayal to his own sense of self, even if he is a loner who has no idea how to take care of another being, let alone a baby. 

We learn too, in the scene I mentioned before that Djarin is an outsider even among the other Mandalorians. He isn’t liked or respected; he is made fun of and challenged by others who consider him a traitor or weak. Whether this is because he’s a foundling and thereby not a ‘true’ Mandalorian (which doesn’t really make much sense considering what we find out later) or his vocation/personality, it clearly affects him enough to act and live the way he does. His constant pretending that he is heartless is challenged both by Kuili and especially by the child, for which he’s willing to risk his life and the secrecy of the Tribe.  

This is all basic stuff; none of this is groundbreaking, but it was still nice to see Djarin evolve as a character. If there is one theme in this show it’s fatherhood and community; Djarin needs people around him, he needs a clan, and this episode is the first step for him to accept that. 

The rest of the episode was great; it had a nice pace, it was full of tension, I liked the Armourer who gets a bit more personality as well as Greef Karga, who I have a soft spot for, even if he betrays Djarin twice in this episode. The action scenes were well shot and choreographed, I loved the Mandalorians at the end and overall it’s a big step up from the previous 2 episodes, and definitely one of the better ones in the season.

Episode 4: Sanctuary

Episode 4 is written by John Favreau and directed by Bryce Dallas Howard. It’s also my favorite episode in the show. 

In an attempt to get some heat off of him after Navaro, Djarin lands on Sorgan, a sparsely populated forest planet. He runs into an ex-rebel shocktrooper, Cara Dune, and gets approached by 2 farmers who need help in dealing with a gang of Klatoonian raiders. What the farmers neglect to mention is that the raiders have an AT-ST fighter, and Cara and Djarin have to quickly train the farmers to learn how to fight the raiders. After freeing the village, Djarin contemplates leaving the child with Omera, whom he has some chemistry with, but a bounty hunter tracking the child arrives and tries to murder it, at the last moment stopped by Cara. Realizing that as long as the Client is hiring bounty hunters, the child will never be safe, Djarin leaves the planet. 

I love this episode; it’s the perfect mix of humor and serious action, it has excellent character writing and pacing and it’s a complete story. It’s up there with some of the best Rebels and Clone Wars episodes and I wish the rest of the series was of this calibre. 

One issue that I haven’t yet mentioned, was that many people didn’t like that in episodes 1-3, the only female speaking roles was the Armourer, and there were few to no female characters even as extras in the background. I could somewhat excuse that in 1 and 2, since a lot of those episodes were following Djarin alone in deserts and caves, but in 3 I was starting to get annoyed too. The Armourer is cool and important as a character, but she is a tertiary supporting character at best. So it took 4 episodes to get some women in this show, and thank god they are all great. 

Cara Dune is absolutely flawless; I loved that she was a rebel shocktrooper, I loved her relationship with Djarin and sparring partners and quick friends who shared a lot of experiences by virtue of living through the war. She is competent, looks powerful, is noble and stoic while still having a lot of personality in her limited dialogue. It takes her no time to start making fun of Djarin’s dumb decisions, and I love that for her. 

Omera is the opposite; she is quiet, kind and secretive. She has a lot of knowledge and understanding and clearly has a past involving trauma, but we never have to see it; it’s her acting and dialogue that captures it perfectly. She is intuitive, picks up on Djarin’s insecurities and worries about the child and his choices, and the chemistry between them felt natural, even if they don’t spend a lot of time together. 

Unfortunately, this episode also starts my second big problem with Djarin, which I’ll call, wait were Mandalorians always like this?

First off, I had no idea Mandalorians can’t take their helmet off. The characters in both Rebels and Clone Wars take their helmets off all the time, especially when they are around family and friends; they only really keep them on when in battle or around enemies. Even in the prequels Jango takes the helmet off. 

At first I thought they aren’t supposed to let anyone take the helmet off, as in without their consent like in battle. That’s when they get disgraced and can never put it back on. But no, apparently it’s ever, under any circumstances. Really? Like they can never let their loved ones see their face? How does that make any sense? 

I saw people comparing the helmets to head scarves, like hijabs or nqabs, but people can take those off you know? When women are at home, and in front of their partners and families and female friends. They don’t wear the scarves forever, even at their own house!

Which makes me wonder, do Mandalorians not have partners or kids? Even if we follow the stupid retcon (which we’ll talk about) from this show, and Mandalore isn’t a people but a creed, that would imply that all the Mandalorians are foundlings. But if that’s true, than why is Djarin treated like an outsider, and so insistent on helping the foundlings if all Mandalorians are foundlings? And even if that’s the case, there’s no mention of Mandalorians being like Jedi, and being banned from having partners and children. 

If they can have partners and children how does that work? Outside of the obvious, how do you have sex in armour (unless it’s just the helmet and the rest of the armour is irrelevant), do their partners and kids never see their face? Or is it that once you find a partner you take the helmet off and never put it back on? Or do not all Mandalorians follow the Way and the ones who don’t are the ones who marry and have kids?

None of that makes ANY sense, and I hope that they explain it at least a little in season 2, because as is, it’s not only dumb, but it also contradicts everything we know about Mandalorians from other Star Wars properties. 

Outside of that, everything else this episode was great. The action was fun, the dialogue was funny, I liked the training montage, I liked Cara and Djarin’s fight, I liked the child being a child, the conclusion to the story, everything. It’s the best episode of the season, and unfortunately, only the season finale comes close to it. 

Episode 5: The Gunslinger

Episode 5 is written and directed by Dave Filoni. While leaving Sorgan, Djarin is attacked by a bounty hunter and during their battle, Djarin’s ship gets damaged. He’s forced to make a pit-stop on Tatooine, where he leaves his ship for repairs with Peli Moto. To pay for the repairs he takes a job with Toro Calican, an aspiring bounty hunter who is tracking Fennec Shard, a notorious assassin. If he catches her he can enter the Guild and Djarin can keep all the money. However, things aren’t ever easy, especially after Toro learns that Djarin and the child are worth a lot more to the Guild than Fennec herself.

This episode is about the same quality as episode 1, but it suffers from a different kind of issues. The pacing is much better, and there is some actual tension while Toro and Djarin try to find and catch Fennec. However, after everything in 3 and 4 this feels like pure and simple filler. In an 8 episode season, that’s inexcusable. Making a pitstop on Tatooine accomplishes nothing, it’s just fan-service; there isn’t even character development for Djarin; he ends the episode exactly as he started it. 

Fennec Shard is a waste of  character and a waste of Ming Na Wen. The marketing for this show made it seem like she would play this massive, important role, but all she does here is shoot at Djarin, get her ass kicked, make an incredible rookie mistake in telling Toro all she knows about Djarin and then gets killed. Even if she’s not dead by the time season 2 rolls around, nothing about her character interests me; for a super assassin who worked for the biggest criminal guilds in the galaxy, she gets taken down by a rookie bounty hunter who can’t shoot straight. 

Toro likewise was a wasted character. In a way I see what Filoni was maybe trying to do with him; if Djarin had treated him better and with a little more respect, Toro wouldn’t have turned on him, except the way it came off is that Djarin was right to treat him like shit, because Toro betrayed him when he realized he could use Djarin to get into the Guild. So what was the point? 

Peli was adorable and actually had the strongest character arc in that she started the show with wanting to charge Djarin extra for the child, only to fall in love with it by the end, and treat it like her own baby. It was cute and funny, but it wasn’t worth a whole episode. If this was an episode in a longer series I’d have no issue with it; as is it just broke the flow of the show and achieved nothing. 

Episode 6: The Prisoner

Episode 6 is written by Chris Yost and Rick Famuyiva and directed by Rick Famuyiva. It’s also my least favorite episode of the season. 

Needing credits, Djarin accepts a job with a former crew mate, Ran, who wants him, a former Imperial sharpshooter Mayfield, brawler Burg, droid pilot Q9-0 (Zeroes) and his ex-girlfriend Xian to break a prisoner out of a New Republic droid-manned prison transport. Tensions in the crew are high, and escalate after Xian ends up killing a human pilot on board the transport who activates a New Republic beacon. The crew trap Djarin in the prisoner’s cell (the prisoner being Xian’s brother Qin, who Djarin helped put in jail), and Djarin takes the crew members out one by one, until it’s just him and Qin. He gets Qin back to Ren and as Qin is about to go after him, New Republic X-Wings, following the beacon Djarin placed on Qin arrive and destroy the station. 

I can see what this episode is going for; it’s a Cowboy Bebop style, space western, and again, in theory, there’s nothing wrong with Djarin joining his old crew for a job and things going south. It could have been a character building moment, to see how far Djarin has come, from associating with dishonest killers and thieves, to hunting bounties for the New Republic. But even more than the previous episode, this one is filler, and it’s made worse by some truly bizarre casting choices and dialogue, as well as a bewildering ‘twist’ at the end. 

Let’s start with the twist. Why would Ren PAY Djarin, let him leave, THEN send Qin after him? It’s not a Guild job, clearly, seeing as Djarin has been barred from the Guild and they are breaking into a freaking New Republic prison, so why wouldn’t they just… shot him as he’s on the platform and let his body fall into space? Answer? Because I guess it looked cooler this way. 

Second, the crew. God I found most of these people insufferable. Mayfield was a cartoon character; he kept wildly flip flopping between bad-ass villain and incompetent comic relief, and I couldn’t tell if his goading of Djarin to take off his helmet was supposed to sound like he was hitting on Djarin, or they just didn’t realize it? It reminded me of John Cena’s character in Trainwreck, and I don’t think it was supposed to be a callback. 

Then we have Zeroes and Burg who are completely nondescript bad guys (although considering how bad of a pilot Djarin is I was glad to see some good piloting for a change). Xian was a can of worms I’m not sure I even want to unpack. First, why give her and Qin Chinese names, but have white actors play them? Second when are we going to stop with the all Twi’leks are sexualized perverts/slaves/are completely insane? I thought the whole point of Disney taking over the SWU was to eliminate this kind of racist and sexist shit, and yet here I am again, in 2019 forced to watch this horribly written fetish-fulfillment on my TV. 

I hated Xian as a character more than I’ve hated anything else in a while, and that’s saying something, because I’ve seen TLJ. 

There were some good bits in this episode; the child hiding around the ship from Zeroes, and thinking he killed him with the force; Djarin asking the pilot for his name and trying to diffuse the situation; thinking to put the tracker on Qin. Even the concept itself was good, and I wouldn’t mind the same episode just with characters that are actually interesting, instead of all these insufferable stereotypes. The show really drops the ball with these 2 episodes, so I was honestly glad I only had the finale left. 

Episode 7: Reckoning

Episode 7 is written by John Favreau and directed by Deborah Chow. Djarin gets a message from Greef who has survived their last encounter; he wants the Client gone so the Imperials who have taken over Navaro leave, and Djarin wants the bounty hunters to stop coming after him, so he accepts, and recruits Cara and Kuili to help. Kuili insist on bringing along the reprogrammed IG-11, who is now a nurse droid. 

The group meets Greef and two bounty hunters and as they head back to the town, they get attacked by Mynocks. The child heals a wounded Greef, and he kills the two bounty hunters, who were there to help him betray Djarin. They devise a plan; Cara is to pretend she captured Djarin and the child, while Kuili takes the child back to the Djarin’s ship and barricades himself inside. Unfortunately, the Imperials sense the betrayal, Kuili is killed and the child taken, just as Moff Gideon arrives with a platoon of death troopers and kills everyone inside the compound including the Client. 

I liked this episode though it is a bit uneven. The first half is spent with Djarin recruiting Cara and Kuili, while the latter is a rather tense standoff with the Client and subsequently Gideon. I liked that we got Cara and Kuili back, enjoyed the tension between Kuili who used to build Imperial weapons and Cara who fought for the Resistance. 

What I didn’t like so much was the child randomly being jealous of Cara? Like he tries to crash the ship when she and Djarin are bonding over weapons, and then tries to choke her? 

This is sort of a bigger problem for the show. We are 7 episodes in and we still know nothing about the child; we don’t know it’s species, why it is force sensitive, why the Imperials are after it, or even why it seems to randomly switch personalities. My further question is who exactly are the people after him? By this time, the First Order should already exist, especially if this takes place after the battle of Aquila, so is the Client First Order? Or Palpatine’s goon? Unaffiliated? 

There is an extended montage that shows how Kuili reprogrammed and taught IG to be a nurse droid which was sweet, but wasn’t really necessary; I find it funny that this montage is longer than both the training section in ep. 4 and Djarin learning to ride in ep. 1. 

The ending was appropriately a cliffhanger and I hate that they ended up killing Kuili’s character off; it was clear it would happen, especially after his fight with Cara, but it still sucks that they did it. I also didn’t like that they wasted the Client; he could have been a really interesting villain and Herzog is an excellent actor, but they never gave him a chance to do anything. 

An objectively good episode, but not my favorite. I felt that more time could have been spent on building up Moff Gideon and the Client than Mynock attacks and training montages. 

Episode 8: Redemption

Episode 8 is written by John Favreau and directed by Taika Waititi. After being captured by stormtroopers waiting for the order to bring the child into town, IG rescues it and shoots up Moff Gideon’s platoon. Gideon in return threatens the group to surrender, calling each member by name, which shocks Djarin because the only people who know his name would have died or at least been on his home planet during the Great Purge. 

Gideon injures Djarin who tells the others to use the underground tunnels to get help and/or escape. IG stays with him, convincing him to remove his helmet to administer bacta to his head injury. In the tunnels the group finds the Armourer alone, as all other Mandalorians have been killed or escaped and she gives Djarin a jet-pack and his signet; a clan of two. She ordains the child a foundling and in accordance with the Way makes Djarin responsible for keeping it safe and returning it to its people. 

The group uses an underground lava river to escape, and IG self-destructs to take out the ambushing stormtroopers. Gideon attacks them in his TIE fighter, and using the jet-pack Djarin manages to knock him down. The group says farewell, with Cara staying behind with Greef to help rebuild Navaro, while Djarin and the child leave. Gideon, having survived the crash uses the Darksaber to cut himself out of the fallen TIE and the season ends. 

This is my second favorite episode behind Sanctuary; it’s action packed, tense and full of Waititi’s recognizable humor. The opening scene alone had me in stitches; that is by far the best use of stormtroopers in any Star Wars media, outside of that First Order SNL skit with Adam Driver. 

We learn a decent amount in this episode; first that the Empire still has pockets of powerful followers, that Gideon and Djarin have some kind of past, that Gideon wants the child and most importantly that he has darksaber. How he has it we don’t know; he either took it from Kryze or is himself a Mandalorian. 

Now, we get to the second wait, were Mandalorians always like this? I thought that the  Mandalorians were a warrior race, but according to Waititi, they are a creed. This… doesn’t make sense. Why was there a civil war between the different clans? Why are there foundlings and not? How does one become a member of this creed, do you have to be a foundling? Or do you just have to follow the Way? Do all Mandalorians follow the Way? If anyone can be a Mandalorian if they follow the Way, then why can’t the child? I didn’t realize the foundlings also have to be Spartan-strong or else they don’t count. 

Then we get to the helmet thing. Now, no LIVING being can see their face, so this confirms that not even their partner and children can see their face. WHY? What purpose does this serve? Why make it this dramatically ridiculous? I guess cause they liked the line ‘I’m not a living being’. 

Waititi really enjoys taking established properties and spinning them on their head; in Thor Asgard was no longer  a place, but a people, here Mandalorians aren’t a race they are the followers of a creed. But that doesn’t make sense if this creed has no rules or hs arbitrary rules that keep changing. 

The rest of the episode was fine. Jrin completes his arc, but getting attached too IG, enough to be sad when IG self-destructs. I liked how insistent Cara was in saving him; a very soldier thing to do, and in general their friendship is excellent. I really hope this isn’t the last we see of her. The humor was also excellent, as it always is with Waititi and it was a good way to end the season.  

Concluding Thoughts: 

I feel like I always come off more negative than I mean to in all of my reviews, but it’s just because there are only so many ways I can say I liked this, this was well done, I loved this. I did I really enjoy this season; I can safely say that I love all the characters, Djarin and the child especially, I am very curious to learn more about Moff Gideon and his hipster top knot and I hope Cara Dune and Fennec Shard come back and have more to do. 

I don’t have any theories about what the child is; I’ve heard people say that it’s a reincarnation of Yoda, that it’s the Force itself in a body (like Anakin, but double), that it’s a clone of Yoda from either the Clone Wars or even Palpatine’s experiments.

Personally, I’m more interested in learning more about Djarin, and how Bobba Fett ties in with his past considering it was his signet that Djarin gave to the child at the end. I also would like to visit or revisit some more worlds; perhaps see some worlds from the books like Aquila. There are rumours that characters like Lando and Ahsoka Tano might make an appearance, and while that would be neat, I don’t necessarily mind the lack of Jedi in the show. 

As for the people working on the show, I think each director brought something to the table. I would love for Deborah Chow, Bryce Dallas Howard and Taika Waititi to return in season 2, though I’ve also heard Waititi is getting his own show. 

Them’s my thoughts. If you got to the end, thank you for reading, and I might be back quite soon, because I would like to re-watch the Clone Wars before season 8 comes out later this year.  

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

December 9: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

(previous notes: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace)

Source: Blu-ray release, the box set with all six Lucas-era movies (2D)

I feel like in recent years I've seen a lot of rhetoric claiming that this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies. But I've always felt like the prequels improve as they go, at least a little. Like, Hayden Christiensen might not be especially good, but he's an improvement on Jake Lloyd. Is there less of the childish stuff in this movie? Let's press play and find out.

Opening crawl is first mention of Count Dooku; seems like the previous stuff was resolved and a new story is beginning. Maybe that's why it's common for people to recommend skipping Episode I, like it's not actually necessary.

We also at this point in the natural chronology don't know anything about clones. Just the title here.

Another decoy-Amidala, but this one gets blowed up right away. And that's Rose Byrne, right?

0:07:30 - Obi-wan does a "oh… oh yes…. Mm mm mm mm mm mm" thing which is stupid and I don't like it.

Wait, no Rose Byrne is a silent handmaiden lady I guess. Unless they're clonesies. Are they clonesies?

Hey, a glimpse of Coruscant's colorful nightlife scene! Or at least some commercial advertisements. Feels like we don't see much of the lives of regular folk of Coruscant much.

Super pretty imagery of this city at night with its traffic and lights and I know I say that every time but it's great.

0:14:30 - Obi-wan shooting himself through a hole in the window in pursuit of that flying robot villain is exciting! And then he just hangs onto it, and then the sniper snipes him off it and he just falls and falls! This is a good action scene.

Then later, Anakin just jumps and falls and falls on purpose like and it's fun to watch.

0:20:00 - Does the sniper have a weird disguise that goes away when she turns her head? Is that what I saw?

"This weapon is your life" says Ewan McGregor doing his best impression of Alec Guinness. I think it was supposed to be funny. And I think it succeeds. Helps to remember that EG's natural accent is Scottish. And you know what? Maybe a little bit ago when I didn't like EG's hammy delivery, I should respect that he's embracing the need for him to embody a young version of Alec Guiness's character, figuring out what that would look like while honoring the director's vision.

They're in a nightclub, and I think there's some genuinely imaginative vision around what people are doing in there.

Ooh! The sniper got sniped by someone else, and the shot of that second sniper zipping away on a jetpack is I like it.

Senator Amidala gives Jar Jar the important job of substitute senator while she goes and hides. Yeah right. Not very credible.

Now Anakin is venting to Amidala in a way that shows how cocky he is. He does the flirtation stuff so that we'll think he's sexy like Han Solo, but also visibly flawed with impatience. Meh. Okay.

Whoa, Rose Byrne just did some acting! She spontaneously shed a tear in a way that looked authentic! Acting… in a Star Wars prequel!

0:31:50 - A greasy spoon diner! I don't remember this. Obi Wan is doing some intel gathering and George Lucas decided to go all in on having this be a 50's-style neon urban railcar slop counter!

The romance. Anakin and Amidala. GL is also going all in on the overtness of that plot. Maybe it's fine? Anakin seems like a horny and awkward teen with a huge crush on someone out of his league but he's going for it anyway. Maybe we'll be convinced that she'd succumb to his charms?

0:39:00 - We're back on Naboo… this scene is oddly non-CGI-looking. Did they film this in a real place with that actual architecture?

The tension they're setting up between Anakin and Amidala is moving in a direction of NOT growing fonder of each other. She looks irritated, and rightly so. This is a move that experienced romance plot makers make, but will GL pull it off?

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is doing spycraft, going to the clone planet place and pretending he's the one who ordered the whatever. "That's why I'm here!" Kinda funny.

0:44:45 - Okay, another A&A scene. He has that line about sand getting everywhere. She looks really damn fly. They kiss a bit and then she changes her mind. See, this is a weak link in the romance plot. We don't buy it. She's not such a sucker that she'd want to kiss him now. She didn't go, "oh he was so charming when he talked about where sand goes that now I'm not only less annoyed by his churlishness but I'm actually turned on". Or did she.

There's something about Obi-Wan's intel gathering, realizing that this huge army of clones is being put together, that's very James Bond-y. I mean that in a good way.

Naboo countryside is hella pretty.

Oh ick. A very very stupid romance scene just happened. See, Anakin fell off a blob creature and it looked like he was hurt! This worried Amidala! She ran to him but it turned out he was okay! They laughed and laughed at this merry misunderstanding and rolled around together! Oh merry! And…. SCENE.

Now Obi-Wan and Jango Fett are having a fight on a platform place and it's pretty exciting and still kind of like a Bond movie. Even more so because of "gadgets" like the devices on JF's outfit. And a dippy little "this is not good" comment from Obi-Wan that would fit in okay coming out of 007.

A&A go to Tatooine and talk to the salvage dealer who used to own Anakin. I like where that CGI character visibly starts to recognize the grown-up Anakin.

Obi-Wan followed JF & Son to a pretty red planet with an asteroid field and it's fucking beautiful and they do this wicked sound effect with bombs and it looks and sounds mother fucking amazing. Seriously god damn. The SOUND.

1:11:40 - They're at what will be the moisture farm of Luke, et al. "I'm Owen Lars and this is my GIRLFRIEND Beru." See, because this is BEFORE they're married. She's JUST his GIRLFRIEND.

1:14:20 - Okay, they just did a weird thing where A&A have an exchange, then hug. But the camera just shows their SHADOWS. And Anakin's shadow looks like he maybe kind of has some semblance of a VADER HELMET. I'm not even that convinced that that's what they were going for. If it actually conveyed that, it'd be cooler. As is, it's a little awkward. But I wouldn't discourage a director from going for this kind of thing.

Anakin found the Tusken Raider camp where they'd brought his mom and he found her just in time for her to die. Like she was just hanging on long enough for him to witness her death. Melodramatic. Then he goes and slaughters everyone… this turns out to be important because it's the catalyst for him turning dark, but it's sort of a weak explanation for something so important.

So HC just did a rage monologue about how he killed everyone, and okay it's not good, but I really don't think it's HC that isn't good. I think he did his very best with really dumb writing.

1:34:30 - Ooh, we're back in that neat senate hall. Jar Jar was suckered into proposing that Palpatine be given special powers, and it's super easy and it just works, and the Jedi are like "oh, hm, bummer". I'm just not impressed with the story.

A&A have arrived on Geonosis and it's quickly quite actiony and rather like a video game where they have to fight robots and hop on platforms at just the right time. I dig it.

It's a little odd now… so I already forgot how A&A got captured in the video game factory place, but they're quickly hustled to an execution arena to be munched to death by monsters before a delighted audience. With Obi-Wan. Just a little odd, but now it's pretty fun action.

Oh yeah, Mace Windu cut Jango Fett's right head off! Forgot that. Another case of an interesting villain ending disappointingly. Except that it's important because his "son" witnesses it and looks vengeance-y.

1:56:40 - Yoda heroically shows up to save the good guys with a force of soldiers that look kind of like Stormtroopers. Those are clones, right? I guess so, but the movie didn't quite ensure we know that. I mean, if they're going to treat the audience like children with their jokes, maybe they could extend that same expectation to plot explanations.

Okay, so now they're in a much bigger battle. I like the flying thing that delivers a walking tank thing! Lots of exciting things to look at. It's not that clear which side is which, not by looking at the battle, but maybe that doesn’t matter too much.

They shoot down a globe-shaped ship as it's taking off and it's pretty. So is lots of this battle stuff.

How does Anakin have a lightsaber now? His was broken earlier. I'm probably not the first to ask that. I probably overlooked the explanation. Seems like they trimmed stuff out of this part of the movie to improve the pacing.

2:07:50 - This is the part that worked well enough that it's probably the main factor in holding this movie's reputation above that of Episode I: the light saber duel with Yoda! Those of us who had played the Dark Forces PC games were already familiar with how it would look to see a Yoda-type wailing on someone with a light saber, but it was a pleasant surprise for many, and it definitely worked.

Then Dooku escapes on a ship that does a really sweet-looking panel-unfurling thing. Love it. And then he goes to Coruscant. Very visibly. Which is for me to love some more.

The movie ends right after that, with Yoda observing that it's dumb to think of this as a victory because now the Clone War has started. Then we get suitably disturbing imagery of the Clone Army being imposing with, significantly, the Imperial March in the background. It's okay. Then a shot of A&A getting hitched. With, a little less significantly, the new tragic-love theme in the background which John Williams was probably pretty pleased with. And over. Okay.

Yeah, better than Episode I. Less childish. Although it's harder to point to a climax, it somehow seems less anti-climactic than Ep1. No less impressive visually, but with new locales compared with the first one. And it's true that you can get all the information you need by starting here instead of with the first one.

(next: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)

[starswarsladies]

So I work at a day camp with 6-8 year olds and since Star Wars is always on my mind, I've had many great interactions with the kids such as: * boy is telling his friend about kotor and he can't remember all the names and so I pipe up and say, "you're thinking of Revan and Malek right?" and his eyes balloon out and he takes my hand and whispers "you know about Revan and Malek?" and won't leave my side for the rest of the day. * every morning a group of girls all try to sit on my lap to hear Star Wars stories. Their favorites are "Pamalamadama and Anakin kissing" (ewww kissing!) and "Princess Leia and Han Solo saying I love you" (gasps and eww he LIKES her!). * for awhile my lock screen was a picture of Obi Wan and while a few kids asked if it was Jesus, most others asked if it was my boyfriend which has lead to it being widely believed that I met Obi in a bookstore and we got married last year in space and I can only see him on the weekends because he's busy fighting in the Clone Wars during the week. Every Monday I have to spin a new story about what me and the hubby did that weekend. * some kids don't believe me and find it much more probable that I'd be married to Ewan Mcgregor. "Obi Wan isn't REAL you mean you're married to the actor!" * and one boy overheard me saying that yes of course (my lesbian ass) has a husband whose name is Obi Wan Kenobi and the kid pipes up and says: "How old are you?" "I'm 21." "Do you have a debit card?" "Yes?" "Oh wow then you can be married!" So to this boy it was believable that I could be married to a fictional man as long as I had a debit card. If it was a credit card, he'd have seen right through me I'm sure!