#yes i am aware there's a typo
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qcellbit · 2 years ago
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meta talk. i don't quite know how to word this properly, but adding french creators to the qsmp is the riskiest thing quackity studios could've done and it doesn't surprise me that the success to which it was executed was minimal.
adding portuguese speaking creators exclusively from brazil as the first batch outside of the initial english and spanish speakers was the perfect "soft expansion" for the server when you consider the reason for the project's conception - because quackity had experienced poor treatment from white americans as a bilingual latino creator and sought to unite his two communities in an empowering way, further expanding this very noble and personal idea to encapsulate all communities and all languages spanning across the entire world. inviting more latino creators who have likely had the same experiences and would be able to appreciate what the project is trying to achieve is a no-brainer.
it's an uncomfortable thing to touch on (which is why i've never, ever, seen it spoken about on this website), but minecraft projects and communities have always had massive problems with all forms of bigotry, but especially racism. white americans and white europeans have probably not felt the euphoria of seeing their culture celebrated in mainstream global entertainment projects as they already absolutely dominate the entertainment industry on a global scale. as someone who is visibly brown and living in europe, i've always got a lot of grief from classmates and co-workers in the form of ignorant jokes and flat out exclusion - it's an unfortunate cultural norm that bleeds into streaming due to the medium's casual and open nature, unnoticed or unchallenged by white viewers who don't want to have to confront a content creator's bigotry in fears of having to stop watching them. something that cannot be ignored by the people it's actually affecting. there is a reason dsmp and hermitcraft cosplay meet ups are dominated by pale skin.
i love the qsmp because its inclusion of latin american creators and quackity's selectiveness based on personal experience have largely (and i do mean largely, not entirely, but that's a discussion for another day) eliminated that problem.
the most prominent and succinct example i can think of is the photo of quackity's bedroom that was mocked countless times by his english speaking community and his bigoted english speaking friends when he streamed on the dsmp - when that photo was brought to the qsmp, forever, a fellow latino creator, was the first person to gently offer solidarity because he had come from the same impoverished latin american background. to me, and to a lot of minorities, that is what the qsmp is about. yeah, sharing languages in a minecraft server is novel, it's a fun way for americans who did poorly in high school to get back into learning spanish, but it stands for so much more when you're a racial minority. when your pleading in the dsmp fandom was drowned out and ignored for the entire duration of its run. when you're completely unrepresented in minecraft tournaments, and when known bigots are encouraged to participate in said tournaments to boost viewership because numbers are paramount. when you are finally seeing your culture appreciated rather than mocked on streams with tens of thousands of viewers all over the world as part of a massive project with a brilliant, engaging story.
it was obviously necessary to branch out of the americas at some point with what the project is attempting to achieve, but such a task is daunting when the next group you're inviting and their community probably do not have the capacity through personal experience to appreciate what the project stands for at its core in the same way the first batches do. can non americans all relate in discussions of the internet and entertainment industry being america and by extension english speaking centric? yeah, of course. but can white europeans relate when the only representation you have in said media revolves around harmful bigoted stereotypes? can there be a quiet solidarity between a white frenchman and a brown brazilian based on experiences with government, racial profiling, and online mockery? no. and in the landscape of livestreaming stupid jokes for entertainment alongside fast paced gameplay, these nuances are probably not going to be acknowledged.
in complete contrast to the solidarity exhibited between quackity and forever when discussing their poverty growing up in latin america, i have not forgotten and never will forget aypierre excusing his constant racist jokes aimed at the brazilians on his uniquely "french dark humour" that the brazilians, hurt by his comments, could "not understand." this is not an excusable cultural difference, but a symptom of white european privilege, and total ignorance towards what the project is meant to stand for. a smooth integration of all the world's cultures necessitates white european and white american introspection in a way that i haven't seen a lot of streamers capable of. admitting fault to such a degree and the ego of a large online personality do not often mesh well.
i'm always very irritated when people (especially english speakers) complain about them not "adding the germans" sooner despite us seeing applications for german speaking admins many months ago - because it would not be a task of simply throwing out server invites to content creators and cobbling together an animation of a submarine crashing into the island. you cannot downplay the ambition of this project and the mammoth task its trying to accomplish. people take for granted and forget that this is an unprecedented melding of cultures that would never otherwise interact and clash on the rare occasions they do. the french qsmp community being small and the french creators largely being outliers when it comes to the qsmp is not something born out of malice or purposeful exclusion, but simply a symptom of an unspoken lack of solidarity and inability to meaningfully relate based on everything from wildly varying privilege to global placement.
and don't get me wrong - i'm not excusing things like the times at which events are broadcast (i literally live in europe and have to stay up until sunrise to see most events, i think the admins do have to bite the bullet and begin structuring events around a new timezone that isn't the globally inconvenient unsustainable PST), or the exclusion of clips from french content creators at the presidential dinner, but i think attributing those admin choices to the brazilian community being unfairly favoured is downplaying what the qsmp as a project means for minorities, especially when the brazilian community receive the most scorn for infamously being the first to call out bigoted behaviour from qsmp content creators. yeah, it sucks that the french haven't slotted into the qsmp as well as the brazilians and aren't anywhere as numerous, but with all these unspoken contributing factors being taken into account, i can't be surprised.
i wish quackity and his team the best in smoothly integrating more languages and cultures in this amazing project in the future, but for the love of god please understand that the implications of this project and its impact are far larger than any streamer "drama" you might've witnessed in the past. and stop underplaying what this project is trying to achieve in an online landscape saturated in bigotry.
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ineffablerainstorm · 10 months ago
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#angel
Do you have a bookshop, but really don't like selling books? But then you also have to pay the bills (cause you're regrettably in a human AU and do not have miracle powers?)? It's high time you hired a Crowley to do some social media for you!
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Wanna know what this is all about? Check out my current WIP!
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bleue-flora · 9 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/757923207436255232/long-time-no-speak-i-promised-to-send-you-a?source=share
I didnt even notice the body language in these streams theres something rlly funny about cdream leaping up and down
No kidding, I forgot until I was rewatching the finales the other day, just how much Dream is moving. Like Punz is just standing there meanwhile Dream is bouncing around lol XD.
Honestly, I interpret it as the Minecraft representation of ADHD stimming, fidgeting and needing to move since it’s not like that can be shown in Minecraft… And it’s something I like to highlight in my fanfics that Punz knows something is really wrong when Dream isn’t moving for once.
“Why?” Dream wonders, his tone dropping all previous emotion and going completely level as he stands there rigid and unmoving. He looks oddly scared. Not just shocked but scared like a snake is crawling up his spine and he’s waiting tensely for it to squeeze him to death. It’s not a look Punz thought he’d see on Dream. Ever. And he hates it. [Ch 5, Musical Chairs]
{opps, I might have forgotten I had this ask sitting in my drafts before seeing dr3’s post [here] about Dream mannerisms ;D}
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darlingghoulette · 1 year ago
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maulfucker · 7 months ago
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https-bwi · 1 year ago
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a little piece that i made for my creative writing workshop *^^*
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(i wrote it in both tagalog and english but the tagalog version has extra parts and they ended not completely differently??)
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fazmid · 2 years ago
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Tag your age if you wanna bc I was just thinking about how I have used floppy disks before (I'm 25 and used them in elementary computer lab) but my 22 y.o. brother hasn't which is so weird to me like 3 years isn't a long time at all to me
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just-some-random-blogger · 6 months ago
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Tormented Spirit | 11
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: very brief daemon cameo here. but he'll be back next chapter. please leave comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
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Upon Daemon's abrupt leave, the king named Rhaenyra his heir and she has since then set out to look for a suitable match. Though the crown princess was loathe to leave, you envy the fact that she is permitted to leave King's Landing at all.
There is a knock on your door. "Princess?"
You open the door and smile at the knight, "Erryk."
Erryk nods and tries to smile back at you. It is hard, considering you look like you have been crying. He tries to lift your spirits by saying, "I am flattered to know I am now set apart."
You take his arm after closing your door, "you have always been set apart, good ser."
The two of you walk off and break fast together. It is silent, as it has been for two moons now. You have not told him any stories since your husband's leave. You barely speak at all, in fact. Most of the time you lock yourself in your room and he pretends he does not hear your sobs. To say he is concerned is an understatement.
And, of course, there was another matter.
Once more, in silence, you walk down the halls, this time with him trailing behind you. You are headed for your father's office. Once there, you knock on his door, and he answers.
Erryk hotly eyes Otto before nodding in regard, "Lord Hand."
"Has my daughter eaten?" is all Lord Hand ever says, to him or his brother.
"Yes," your ward replies each time.
Erryk watches as your father takes your hand and links it in his arms. He leans towards you and gentle speaks, as he has ever since you threw yourself into the sea. He even rubs your knuckles as you walk off to the maester's ward. Yet, through it all, Erryk finds no comfort in this new found gentleness your father offers. He is deeply suspicious, but for your sake, he tries to convince himself your father has changed.
Each day, without fail, you and your father visit your maester together, and each day, without fail, he worries for you more and more.
Erryk straightens up when the door to the maester's opens. He is quick to come to your side and offer his arm as you wave your father good bye. Otto does not regard you before walking off. He never does.
You smile at Erryk once it's just the two of you. The latter asks, "how are you feeling?"
You notice the lines on his forehead, and it makes your lips flatten. You tilt your head, "same as I felt yesterday," you place a hand on his cheek, "and the day before... so do not worry for me."
"Forgive me, princess," Erryk lowers his gaze and pulls your hand away, "but such a thought cannot comfort me for you have been nothing but sad since Daemon left."
You clasp your hands together, "that's hardly his fault."
"Is it not?" Erryk questions rather harshly.
"Not really..." you offer a soft smile, "none but my brother remembers the days prior to my sadness." You chuckle under your breath, "and even then, I am aware he feeds me honeyed words"
Erryk gulps when you take his arm. He wants so badly to caress your cheeks as you bring a beaming smile to your face.
"Do not torture yourself trying to make me happy," you raise your brows at him as you lead him off, "you did not meet me happy, Erryk, and it is not your job to make the impossible happen."
You examine his expression as you make your way back to your chambers. You had hoped he could find some sort of comfort in this truth, but he looks only more worried. You sigh, "would you like to know why it is I visit the maester everyday?"
Erryk knits his brows, "I only like what you want."
"..."
"And if my lady wanted it, she would have already told me why her father brings her to the maesters daily."
You carefully mutter his name.
He stares at you for a moment, hand itching to clutch your cheeks. He holds himself back but mutters your name with such a softness, it makes your skin prick with goosebumps.
Your breath hitches and you have to look away. You huff and lick your lips, "I am with child."
He stops in his tracks.
You pull away to stand before him. You feel incredibly self-conscious as his face contorts.
"My-" he starts by then bows his head, "Seven bless you for the fortunate news," he slowly looks up at you, "congratulations."
You slowly raise your brows, "you congratulate me yet appear so frightened."
"No," he shakes his head, "I am not frightened... merely... shocked."
You aimlessly look off.
"... and perhaps... worried."
You chuckle, soft and dry, "worry will do none of us any good."
"Does the prince know?"
You look back at him. You shake your head, "no one knows."
He clenches his jaw.
"I plan to tell Arryk next," you rub your belly, "soon, I will be showing... and I do not want you to be frightened."
There is much Erryk wishes to say, much he wishes to promise you. I promise to sever any hand that rises harm you or your child. I promise, so long as I breathe, to do all I am able to assure your safety. But he says nothing because he knows you will cry. He says nothing because he can sense that you are frightened.
You begin to walk off again and Erryk wordlessly follows. You look back at him, finding him in deep thought with his gaze lowered. You turn to your fingers and fidget with them, "I did not want to announce it in case it does not last."
You can feel him looking at you.
"Even now, we do not know what the future holds."
He clenches his fists tightly, "princess-"
You turn.
"-I know it means nothing, but I believe you are stronger than you think. I have seen it, your strength... and your happiness, however small and fleeting you may think it."
Your eyes water. You reach out for him and squeeze his hand, "do not hold yourself in such low regard. Your words mean everything to me, Erryk."
You walk back to your chambers and invite Erryk inside. He remains stood by the door as you get quill and parchment. You have been writing daily two letters— one, which comes easy:
𝔐𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔡𝔞𝔶. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔲𝔫𝔢 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔴𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤'𝔰 𝔏𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔦𝔱. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔶𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔫𝔬𝔬𝔫. 𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢. ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡. ℑ𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥. 𝔚𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯.
... and another which takes far greater effort and attempts to complete:
𝔗𝔬 𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔯 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔗𝔬 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡, 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔩𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩-𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤. ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢𝔱𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡. 𝔇𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡, ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔲𝔟𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔠𝔞𝔭𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔰𝔱. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔶 ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, 𝔪𝔶 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯, 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, 𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔵𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨, 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱 𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱 𝔟𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔩. 𝔇𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔪𝔢? 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔣 ℑ 𝔲𝔭𝔰𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔬𝔣𝔣. ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔰𝔨𝔢𝔡. ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔩𝔶 𝔬𝔣𝔣 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔭𝔱 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔉𝔯𝔬𝔪, 𝔖𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔶, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥 𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰
In the end, this is what you sent:
𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. 𝔐𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔢𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔭𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲, ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔵𝔢𝔰, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔬 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔩𝔶. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔩𝔶, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢.
—of course, after reading it aloud to Erryk, just to be sure it was appropriate.
Erryk has only ever assured you that whatever it is you mean to tell your husband is more than appropraite, but for once, he offers that you add something. "Perhaps you should tell him that you're... you know."
You spare him a glance as you seal your letters with wax and shake your head, "why? Do you think he would return if I did?"
No. Erryk does not hold him in such a high regard.
"If he wanted to respond, he would. No matter what I have to say, I cannot change his mind if he's already set it," you stand, "and again... we don't know what the future holds."
You were right.
Woe is you who understood the inner workings of your husband. Daemon was in the middle of chewing tough, flavorless meat when he received your latest letter. You were right about not being able to change his mind about writing to you, but you were wrong in thinking your words wouldn't bring him to write back.
It would have, that is, if he ever read them.
The prince goes to Caraxes and feeds him what remained of his food. He then goes to his tent and chucks your letter along with the rest of it. He lies down in his cot and wonders what you write to him about. He wonders if you miss his touch, then touches himself to the thought of you.
A moon passes. Though you knew neither your maester nor your father would ever trick you into believing you were with child when you were not, the truth of it all only set in upon catching a glimpse of your bare body in the mirror. You had taken a warm bath in the evening because you felt sore, and upon seeing how big your breasts had become and how your belly protruded in a way it has not, you realize why you were so sore and just how real it was that you were carrying a child.
It was terrible that upon your awareness of the changes in your body, so much started to change. You found it harder to fit into your clothes as your breasts and arms required much more space than normal. Your face began to change as well, and you could scarcely recognize your own reflection with how swollen you looked. What's worse, is that your skin began to break out with painfully deep pimples.
You knew that you shouldn't be picking at them, but you couldn't help yourself, so you did, and soon your face, your neck, and even your back was littered with red blotches. You were so horrified with the way you looked, you barely left your room.
It was then Alicent began to worry.
"Just place it there," Viserys points haphazardly from where he sat.
"Here?" Alicent places the figure near some tiny stone trees.
The king looks, "no-" then comes behind her, guiding her hand from behind. Alicent tenses when his other hand comes to her waist. Viserys moves her hand and Alicent finally places the figure. The former smiles, "there."
Alicent catches her breath as the king pulls away.
Viserys sits and continues carving out the piece he had at hand. After a few moments, he notices Alicent staring at him. He quirks a brow, "something wrong, my dear?"
"Have you heard from your brother?"
He releases his block and leans back on his chair, "no."
Alicent nods, lowering her gaze.
"Why?"
She shakes her head.
"Come now," Viserys stands, "you can tell me."
Alicent looks at him when he takes her hand. She presses her lips as she feels her heart race. Her voice trembles, "m-my sister."
He hums, "has something happened to her?"
She rapidly shakes her head, "I barely see her anymore. She stays in her room days on end."
"I see," he nods, "did she and Daemon argue before he left?"
"I-" she shrugs as the king pulls away, going back to his chair, "I don't know."
Viserys spares her a look before picking up his block.
"I do know that she feels abandoned. First, Gwayne, now the prince," Alicent sighs, "she has no one."
"She has you."
She shakes her head, "she and my brother have always been close, close in a way twins are, close in a way I can never understand. She does not regard me as dearly, I don't think."
This makes his brows furrow. He tilts his head, "that is not true. Many a man would regard you dearly, Alicent."
Her throat tightens.
"And your sister is not a man," Viserys raises a hand, "does she not like to pray?"
Alicent nods slowly.
"You might want to invite her to the temple. It might cheer her up."
The girl rubs her hands together and nods. She then curtsies and heads for the door, that is, until Viserys stops her.
The king rises and takes her hand, "eager to leave, are you?"
"N- I-"
"I don't bore you, do I?"
Alicent shakes her head, "n-no! Not at all, I simply--"
"I jest," Viserys chuckles, pressing a kiss at the back of her hand, "go to her." He rubs her knuckles, "she is most fortunate to have your affections."
Alicent curtsies again and leaves.
As she makes her way to your chambers, she sees one of your servants and calls for her. The servant girl is quick to greet the lady and Alicent notices the letters in her hands.
"Have you gone to my sister?" she asks.
The servant girl nods, "yes."
"How is she?" the red haired girl sighs.
"She... is her normal self," she nods slowly.
Alicent shakes her head, "... sad?"
"Yes," she agrees.
"Who are those for?" Alicent motions to the letters she was holding.
"These?" the girl raises, "ah... your brother and good-brother, milady."
"Oh," she tilts her head slightly, "does she write to them often?"
She nods, "everyday, milady."
"Oh," she blinks. There is something about this comforts her and... hurts her. She thinks about what she confessed to the king, how she was aware you did not regard her so dearly, and yet, there was an ache in her heart to know her sister would not seek solace in her during this time.
Alicent dismisses the servant then comes to your chambers.
The Cargyll stood outside your door greets her, "my lady."
"Ser..." she nods, "Erryk?"
"Arryk, my lady."
"Ah, yes," she lowers her head, "forgive me."
"An honest mistake," he smiles, "you are here for your sister, yes?"
Alicent nods.
He turns and knocks on your door, "princess. Your sister, Lady Alicent, is here."
"I-" she steps forward and raises her voice, "wish to invite you to pray at the temple."
Arryk turns to her and smiles. Alicent smiles back and they both wait for you to respond. Only, it seems you are really taking your time.
She begins to pick at her nails and the minutes pass. She sighs, turning to ser Arryk, "maybe she is asleep."
He shakes his head, "she does not sleep at this time. She is probably changing."
"How do you now? Do you go inside to check on her?"
"I only come inside when she needs help with something," he nods curtly, "or, if perhaps, I feel sense danger in the air."
Alicent tilts her head, "but how do you know?"
"The princess is a creature of habit. Though she is good at concealing her emotions, you can only hide so much from someone who watches you closely."
"How close do you watch her, ser?"
Arryk is taken aback by the question. It was in all accounts innocent; Alicent meant nothing more that what she said, but it did not feel such to the knight. It feels as though he was caught staring longingly at you right this moment. "W-What?"
He is thankful Alicent does not get to clarify herself because you finally emerge.
Alicent perks and deflates all at once upon seeing you. You smile at her through the lacy, black veil you have covering your face. She returns your embrace as you hug her, but she cannot help but knit her brows at you, or rather, that veil on you.
"You look well, sister," you smile, taking her hands.
She takes a moment before replying, "and you...'re wearing a veil."
Your smile flattens.
Alicent is quick to shake her head, "it looks good. Very stylish."
You contain your frown and take her arm, "I am most pleased to have you here."
The both of you begin to walk off and Arryk follows after. Alicent asks, "you are?"
"Of course!" you give her a look, "why, you are normally with the princess-" you raise a finger, "-which I do not have any qualms with. Most people dream to have a friendship that you both have. But I am glad you have a moment to spare for me."
Alicent's brows raise.
"Rhaenyra is doing better now, I hope?"
"Yes," she nods slowly, "she can now talk about the queen without weeping."
"Better than I ever was," you squeeze her arm.
Alicent offers you a soft smile.
The sight of her face brings you comfort, "I have missed your company, and your pretty face, my pretty girl."
She chuckles.
"You inherited our mother's beauty and left none for me—"
"That's not-"
"—especially none for Gwayne."
Alicent chortles and you giggle in response.
Arryk smiles, feels his heart clench at the tender display before him. Thank the Seven for Alicent Hightower.
"You should join us, sister," Alicent squeeze your hand, "Rhaenyra enjoys your company as much as I do."
You shake your head, offering her a kind smile, "I would not want to infect you with my bitterness."
For a moment, Alicent wants to ask if that was why you were wearing a veil, but she decides against it.
Arryk stood a few paces away from you as you prayed in the temple. Both you and your sister were on your knees with your hands clasped and eyes closed as you recited your prayers.
"Lastly," Alicent mutters, "we pray for Daemon's safety-"
You open your eyes and turn to your sister.
"-that he, as well as the Velaryons and their fleet, may find swift victory so that they may all return to their families."
You unveil yourself, "seven hear us."
"Seven hear us," Alicent ends, bowing her head for the final time.
You try not to think of the acne staring back at Alicent when she turns to you, but her initial reaction to seeing your face makes it quite hard. She does you a favor of not saying anything regarding it however.
You squeeze her hand and whisper, "there is something I must tell you."
She gives you a solemn expression.
"I am with child."
Her eyes widen and her lips part.
"Of course, father knows, but I have not told anyone, save my wards," you shake your head, "it is why my skin is littered with blemishes, and why I do not wish to come out of my room."
She frowns, calling out your name softly.
"Not even my husband knows, Alicent," you shake your head, "and I did not tell him because-" you eyes begin to water, "because the chances of a miscarriage is still high."
Alicent can feel your fear, your worry.
"But gods, I feel like I will go mad if I keep this in any longer," you break down into a sob.
She immediately seals you into an embrace. Arryk is immediately alerted by the sound of your cries. He observes for a moment but does not act, knowing you need this moment with your sister.
Alicent feels her chest tighten, not because of how tightly you embrace her, but because of how evidently you needed this hug.
"I want to go home," you mumble.
She nods, "I'll take you back to you-"
"To Oldtown," you sniffle, taking in her scent. She smelled like your mother and it made you wonder if your presence ever felt comforting for anyone, or if you just inspired distress, "this is not my home."
"Sister," she tries to look at you, "you are married to the prin-"
"And where is he?" you blurt, pulling away.
Alicent frowns at the redness of your eyes and the wobbling of your lips.
"I feel nothing but emptiness here," you place your hand on your belly, "I do not want that emptiness to manifest within me-" you shake your head, "I do not want my bitterness to kill my unborn child."
Alicent's cheeks instantly become wet.
You wipe her tears away and frown, "will you try and help me convince father to send me home?"
She stares at you, "sister..."
It is an impossible ask, and you both know it.
"Please," you brush her red locks, "he has always favored you."
Alicent does not know if that was true. She lowers her gaze and shakes her head, "I... I will try."
Your lips wobble as you watch worry manifest on her features. Guilt begins to choke you, "forgive me for asking much of you, my baby sister."
Alicent shakes her head quicker then steels herself away, "no. I-" she nods, "I want to help."
You squeeze her hands, "do not force it if it is too hard."
Later that evening, Alicent builds her nerve and visits the Lord Hand's office. The moment she enters the room, she knows she's made a mistake, for he was in a sour mood.
"What?" he snaps, head in his hand.
It was too late, however. He will be cross if she says she's changed her mind, he will be cross if she lies and presents him with something unimportant, and he will be cross if she tells him what she actually came here for. She takes a breath, might as do it, "it's regarding my sister."
Otto immediately perks, eyes squinting, "what of her?"
"She... asked me to ask you if she could... continue the rest of her term in Oldtown."
The man tilts his head, eyes widening in disbelief, "I beg your pardon?"
"She sai-"
"She told you she's carrying?" he points a finger.
Alicent tenses. She gulps, "yes."
"When?" he snaps, coming to a stand.
"J-" she watches her father walk over, "just today."
Otto's face is hard as he recalls how you begged him not to make a spectacle of your childbearing, lest your body fails you. He thinks there is something to be said about how you were now willing to divulge this information with Alicent. He raises his brows, "who else knows?"
Alicent feels cornered. It does not feel right to divulge this information.
"Did she tell Daemon?" he places his hands on her shoulder.
She stammers, "I-... I do not know."
Otto examines her daughter. He thinks she knows more than she lets on but does not pursue it further. He sighs, caressing her cheek before pulling away, "you know, you both know, I will not allow such a thing."
He walks back to his desk and Alicent takes in a deep breath.
"If she is here, then I can see to her needs."
"She needs the warmth of home," she says.
Otto sighs as he sits down. He motions vaguely to his child, "this is her home. She's married to Daemon Targaryen."
"But the prince is not here," she steps forward, "she can return when he does."
He tilts his head. He knows her boldness comes stems from her love from you. That is why he says, "and do you really think she can return if she leaves?"
Alicent's face falls. It is incredibly subtle, but Otto catches it nonetheless.
"If your sister were to go to your brother in Oldtown, what do you think the Rogue Prince will say?" her father leans on the desk, "you bore witness to how he acted when your sister came to Gwayne when he was knocked off his horse at the tourney. Do you think he will enjoy the fact she retreated to him in this time? Do you think he will care enough to retrieve her once he returns from the Stepstones? Or will he squander in brothels and sire a thousand bastards?"
She begins to pick at her nails.
"And what of your sister's child?" Otto raises a brow, "what if she loses the babe during the journey to Oldtown? What if she loses the babe once she's there? Who then is to be blamed?"
"I-"
"And what if the baby does not inherit a single Valyrian trait?" he leans back on his chair, "what if the babe looks like a Hightower and Daemon decided to accuse her of infidelity?"
"But she would never-"
"I know that," Otto raises a finger, "you know that. Does her husband share in this knowledge?"
"..."
"It would look like she left to hide her sins."
Alicent's heart begins to pound.
"Do you understand the risk, child?"
She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.
Otto sighs and stands again, "I understand you mean well."
Alicent is at the brink of tears as her father approaches her again.
"But there is no way for your sister to go to Oldtown," he ushers her to the door, "without risking much." Lord Hand opens the door and gives his daughter one last, "not unless the king allows such a thing."
Alicent takes in her father's features. He smiles softly at her. Her stomach feels uneasy.
"Go to bed, Alicent," he strokes her hair, "your sister is mine to worry about, not yours."
The door closes.
It was a shock that Alicent came to you the next day, telling you that you were set to leave for Oldtown at noon. You were overjoyed and sealed your sister into the tightest hugs, "I can't believe you convinced father!"
Alicent rubs your back, softly muttering, "...I really didn't."
"Oh but you did," you chuckled in between sobs, "I owe you my first born's life."
She pulls away and shakes her head, "d-don't- don't say that."
You frown at the worry that over her face. You shake your head, "very well. Forgive me for burdening you with such a thought."
So it was that you left that day for Oldtown. You were grateful the king graciously allowed you to bring both your wards along with you. You would have been less so, had you known Alicent requested it specifically, even less had known it was not actually your father that she had convinced but the king himself, and less than that to know she was able to do so because she had been visiting him oft since the queen's passing. You would outright abhor it had you known Alicent's relationship with Viserys was borne from your father's encouragement.
Your unawareness of this made you deeply cherish the moment you saw your twin brother's face. You were exhausted from the travel, much more than usual, and yet an energy burned within you when you saw Oldtown's heir.
Gwayne outright laughed and pointed at you as you sobbed on your way over to him, "what in god's name is on your face, twin?"
You felt nothing but affection from his blatant mockery.
He coos as he pulls you into a hug once you are close enough, "now, now. I cannot have a princess weeping in my arms." He is relieved by the warmth of your being. He has not been embraced so tenderly since you've been separated. "Not an ugly one at least."
"I am with child, you miscreant," you mutter against his chest.
Gwayne's rubs your back as his face hardens with worry, "I know. Father wrote to me."
You sniffle and pull away. You glare at him, "yet you still dare to be mean to your beloved sister?"
"Spare me your tears," he says rather genuinely as takes in your wet face, "your cry-baby attitude will get nowhere with me."
Your lips wobble at the sentiment.
Gwayne actually starts feeling bad, but then you release a soft laugh.
"You fucking rat," you scratch your eyes as you break into a giggle.
Your twin gasps, turning to your wards who were approaching. Lord Hightower raises a brow at them, "are you aware your lady has a vulgar mouth on her?"
"Please, Gwayne," you shake your head, "I'm a fucking princess."
The laugh that leaves your brother is ugly, loud, and real.
Yes, your unawareness made you cherish every moment you spend in Oldtown. It was still hard to be with child; there were the food aversions and cravings, soreness, sickness, and mood swings that haunted you, but the spirit of emptiness remained in King's Landing. Now that you were free from the scrutiny of court, from the politicking of your father, there was a lightness within you that you had not felt in a long time.
You recounted the things you and Gwayne used to do when you were younger, then caught yourself imagining your child doing the same. Suddenly, you didn't feel so terrified by the thought of bringing a child into this world. The Cargyll twins can attest to the shift in your demeanor.
It was a shame that a moon's worth of happiness disappeared in an instant all because of a single letter.
Gwayne comes to a stand from his spot upon seeing you react so physically to whatever it was you were reading. The Cargyll twins, who were breaking fast with both of you, stand to attention as well.
You clutch your chest as your other hand crushes the letter you just read.
"What is it?" your brother asks, "what has happened?"
"It's Alicent," you feel your chest tighten.
Gwayne comes to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder. He is alarmed by your tension, "sister, sister. Breathe."
You clutch your belly. It's much pronounced now, and you know it adds to your struggle to breathe.
"Breathe," your twin repeats, "that's it."
You manage to calm yourself, but soon tears begin to fall from your eyes, "Gwayne."
"Yes, I'm Gwayne," he squeezes your shoulder, "what's happened to Alicent?"
You shake your head and look up at him, "she's getting married."
The man pulls his head back. His brows knit, "married? To whom?"
Your breath hitches as you push yourself up to a stand, "to the king."
Whatever confusion he had regarding your reaction instantly dissipates. This match reeked of politicking, politicking from the Hand of the King. Gwayne clenches his jaw as helps you up. He feels the same emotions he did upon learning of your own betrothal. History was repeating itself, yet now, your brother's chest is tighter. He had always believed your father wouldn't be so cruel to willingly give you to the Rogue Prince, but now... he realizes this was something he wanted to believe.
Gwayne calls your name out as you begin to walk off, "where are you going?"
"Where do you think?" you snap.
You despise every second spent on the way back to King's Landing. You are exhausted when you return and you are loathe to see your father waiting for you.
Otto calls your name and greets you with a smile. His glee is genuine. He is wholeheartedly pleased to see how much better you look from your visit to Oldtown, "I am glad to see time with your twin has livened you, my girl."
As true as that may be, it was your anger that livened you in this moment. You despise him as he takes your cheeks and kisses your forehead. You destest him as he grins.
"I have missed you."
You wish you hated him more as not to be so affected by this. Your nostrils flare, "where is my sister?"
His face falls slightly at your complete ignorance to his greeting. He pulls away, "getting ready for her nuptials."
You stare at him. The burst of affection he had for your wanes enough for him to recognize your look, your glare. It was written all over. Anger. Defiance. Hurt. It could not be contained.
"Am I not enough for you, father?" you quip under your breath as your eyes begin to water.
Otto looks around then takes your hand, "let us speak insi-"
"Is it not enough?!" you break free from his hold. You seethe, "—that I am about to deliver you a royal grandchild and you should require my baby sister to do the sa-"
"She is not a baby," he quips.
You clench your jaw, "she just turned ten and-"
"She is in ripe marrying age."
You turn away from him. You are about to walk away, and he knows it. He cannot stand it.
"She did this so you could go to Oldtown," he snaps, pointing an accusing finger at you.
You give the Hand one last look before going to your sister.
Alicent is equally overjoyed and worried by your appearance. Just as she assures you that you didn't have to come all this way, you silence her by telling her, "it is not too late."
Your sister is frozen in her spot as you explain the plans you have for her to escape her marriage with the king. She can tell that you have thought about it greatly, considering the speed and detail in which you speak it. The only thing that manages to quiet you is the way she says, "it is done."
"W-what?"
"I am decided," Alicent shakes her head as her eyes begin to water, "do you not notice how your plans to save me demand your suffering?"
Your brows knit, "I will suffer no more than I already do."
She sniffles as she speaks your name, "when mother died... I watched you writhe in pain. None but Gwayne ever offered you true comfort."
"And you!" you clutch her cheeks, "you foolish girl! Do you not understand, I wish to free you from-"
"We are all of us destined to be a prisoner," Alicent mutters as tears fall from her eyes, "us, more than most. If not the king, I will be married off to another man I do not want."
You clench your jaw, "Ali-"
"At least if I am queen, I can save you from Daemon."
Your heart stops. You rest your forehead on hers, "you stupid little girl."
Your words burn her. She watches as you pull away, finding the tears staining your cheeks.
"If you are doing this for me, and you marry him... I will never speak to you again."
Her face drops.
"Did I not tell you that I should be the one to do such things for you?"
"Sister," she takes your hand, "... I am stronger than you."
"... oh."
"I can help."
You lower your gaze and nod. You pull away from her and walk away.
Less than a fortnight later, your sister marries the king and is proclaimed the new Queen of the Seven Realms.
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vaspider · 4 months ago
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Spider, can I ask you and your followers for some input in a situation? I want some unbiased opinions, especially from parents of adult kids (bonus if your adult kids are disabled). I've tried to be as unbiased as possible and include both sides. I am aware that you're under no obligation to actually answer, but I'm hoping that if you're not able to provide any input, then one of your followers might be able to.
TLDR at the end.
The context:
Basically, I am an adult in my late 20s. I haven't lived with my parents since they threw me out at 19 for being diagnosed with autism and they were told that I wasn't capable of living independently without years of occupational therapy. I was homeless for 13 months. Like literally two days later, they dropped me off at work, confiscated my house keys, and said to find somewhere else to sleep because I wasn't coming back home. (My parents insist that I wasn't actually homeless because I already had my current job and was able to afford to stay at a youth homeless shelter. I say "what the fuck do you think Homeless Shelter means??") After that, I was able to get a government grant for chronically homeless youth that allowed me to get a room in a student housing complex. It's not dorms, but it works like a dorm. I do have a private room.
My bedroom of my apartment is a mess. My bedroom has always been a mess. I have AuDHD and multiple disabilities, including extreme fatigue so that's not unexpected. During lockdown, it was especially bad. I had to move out of my last apartment in 2021 because one of my roommates was a bigot and my building wanted a new tenet so they could charge more rent, so between the two of them, they forced me out for being a "safety concern" due to the mess (the roommate did things like lie and say I didn't bathe, even though I was literally still wet from the shower). My parents ended up helping me pack up my stuff and move to a new place. I've been here for a few years and my roommates here have always been okay with the mess because it stays confined to my room.
(Also I wrote this at like 5AM and I'm half asleep but I wasn't going to be able to go back to bed until I ask someone unbiased. So please excuse any typos, and I hope everything makes sense and nothing came out as gibberish because sometimes by brain refuses to Word Good.)
The problem:
My mother decided when I moved in that my dad was going to be inspecting my bedroom in order to make sure it's clean. He's been putting her off but she's been on his ass about it for three years so he's finally caved and said that next time he's here to bring me something (I cannot drive due to disabilities), that he would be inspecting my room.
I do not want my room inspected. I've been very clear about that since day one. Yes, my room is a mess, but I'm also a grownass adult. My parents say that since they've given me some money for my rent over the past few years that they're entitled to inspect my room. I say that it's a violation of my autonomy. My room is my safe space. My mother is an obsessively clean person so growing up, my room wasn't really mine, and everything had to be to her standards whether I liked it or not (including things like what color I paint my furniture that I owned).
My parents do not care about my boundaries, and would say that since I've proven incapable in the past (re: because I'm disabled, not that they'd ever admit it), that they're trying to protect me by keeping me from being kicked out again.
I am skeptical about this and believe it's more about controlling me (see: throwing me out for having autism and just generally being extremely controlling my entire life). My parents have refused to stop giving me money for my rent every now and then (I have a job and pay at least the majority of my rent, but there are some months where business is slow and I don't get many hours, and no one wants to hire me because I act Autistic and use a cane) and I end up short. I have resolved to do everything I can to not need their help, including having my sister pick up my prescriptions, in order to avoid my parents coming over and inspecting my room.
Also, my building already does quarterly inspections and they've always been okay with my room, but I know my room won't be to my parents' standards. I don't have any local friends that I could ask for help cleaning up, but like, I'm a Spoonie. I clean my toilet and then have to go lay down because I'm getting dizzy. I am not making much progress myself.
The question:
Are my parents right? Have I shown that I cannot be trusted to keep my room clean, thus entitling them to come inspect it to make sure it's not a mess. They will definitely yell at me and have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if my room is a mess or I refuse to let them inspect it? Or am I right to put my foot down and enforce my boundaries?
Side note, my parents have a history of being abusive and controlling. That's something I had to prove to the government to get my grant. They would insist that it's not abuse. Some of it was quite bad but I'm not going to get into it here.
TLDR:
I'm an adult with disabilities who has my own apartment. My parents think they're entitled to come inspect my room to make sure it's clean. I say that it's my apartment and I say no. They have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if I refuse. Are my parents being unreasonable, or am I the one being unreasonable for refusing?
Your parents have no right to inspect your room. You are an adult. This is your apartment, not theirs. Your mother is wrong. Your parents are being invasive. I think they think they're being reasonable bc they care about your well being, but they aren't respecting your autonomy.
Sometimes, being a parent means you gotta let your kids not do things the way you would or even not do things the way that is best for them. It's hard, but it's necessary.
If you still lived with your parents and your lack of cleanliness was affecting their lives, it might be different ... but this is just your parents being fucking weird.
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kxizoku-ou · 3 months ago
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This kind of silly post has gone over well in the past, so uhhh... expect more of these, probably. They're fun. XD
Yes I am aware there are typos on the chart. I didn't make it, and I'm not putting in the time to edit/fix the text.
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sapphiresandferrari · 6 months ago
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Sweet encounters
Pairing: Eddie Munson x oc!reader
Summary: Eddie meets the new student, and he inevitably falls for her
Warnings: none, pure fluff and slightly simp Eddie
A/N: hi, I finally wrote a new fic, about Eddie Munson this time.
I hope you will like it and, as always, comments, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated, let me know your thoughts, please, it helps me improve
Also English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if I made some mistakes or typos
Enjoy 🫶🏻
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Eddie hated early mornings, he absolutely hated them.
The only occasions he woke up early without a groan and a big instinct to kill the first person in front of him, were when he had to drive to go to a concert or to shop for new records and band shirts.
Other than that, he utterly disliked waking up early, his brain doesn’t start to function until 11 am.
However, this year Eddie was focused and determined: he wanted to graduate, so he could finally leave this town for good and try to make it to the music scene.
He knew his band was good enough to make it, sure they need way more practice, and definitely a bigger crowd than the 5 drunks at the Hideout, but they could make it, he knew it in his bones.
In order to graduate tho, he had to put lots of effort this year, so that means waking up on time and actually show up for classes even if they were boring, do all the assignments (possibly on time too) and most importantly, try to get at least all D.
That's why every morning he woke up with a living will up to 0 but he was stubborn: he wanted to graduate and he will.
After drinking the biggest cup if coffee known to mankind, he hopped on his van and drove to school.
He checked his schedule and headed to the chemistry lab.
He arrived surprisingly early, so he could sit alone and doodle in peace, until he heard the chair beside him moving.
He turned his head and saw a girl, curly hair, all pink and laces, never seen before, she looked at him, her eyes wide, scared "is this seat taken? Can i sit here?".
He couldn't belive his ears, was she aware of his reputation? Did she know anything, honestly?
He couldn't tell, so he simply told her that yes, the seat was free and she could stay there, turning back to his doodles.
"Oh thank you, I'm new you know? Ao i don't know anyone and everyone here seems to be pretty close to each other and i saw you alone so i thought i could sit here but then I thought it was better to ask cause what if you were waiting for someone, and...maybe is better if i shut up"
Jeez she talked a lot, but Eddie found it somehow cute, she looked like a lost kitty, he didn't know if he should try to be friendly or keep staying silent and let her go.
She didn't seem to have things in common with him so he didn't see the point into trying to be friends, but she also looked scared and he could help her, at least at the beginning.
"Hey calm down, is fine, i wasn't waiting for anyone, the seat is all yours", she nodded at his words but he could see in her eyes that she was worried, on edge.
He felt bad for her, maybe he sounded too harsh than he wanted to, the poor thing was already scared to death, he definitely didn't make it better
He decided to try again "so first day...you must be nervous" she looked at him, breathing heavy "I'm more than nervous, I'm terrified, i was actually excited to start school even if I don't know anyone here, and yes, Hawkins isn't Chicago, but i thought maybe i could make some new friends but then as soon as i entered school everyone looked at me like i have three heads and...I'm rambling again, I'm sorry, I talk a lot when I'm nervous...but also when I'm not nervous...to be honest i just talk a lot, 'm sorry"
Eddie definitely never met someone like her, she was the cutest thing he even seen.
He smiled, she was so different from the other girls in Hawkins, he wondered if they had anything in common "is okay really, i get it, i moved to Hawkins too, few years ago, so i know how you're feeling, I'mEddie by the way" he could see her eyes glowing at his words, her breath steadying "yeah being the new student sucks, but it seems i already made a friend, I'm y/n, nice to meet you Eddie" she smiled back at him, before focusing on Mr Ripley, ready to start his chemistry lesson.
Eddie didn't see her for the rest of the day after first period, so he couldn't wait to see her during lunch break, he hoped to spot her so he could invite her to his table
She didn't show up at the cafeteria, leaving him disappointed, wondering where she was.
He met her again for Mrs O'donnell class, during last period, she was sit alone writing on her notebook.
Eddie immediately sat besides her, he couldn't believe that they were together for this class.
"Hi, i didn't see you all day, you disappeared or something?" She jumped when she heard his voice "oh hiiii, I'm so happy to see you again, I was hoping we could share more classes together but i didn't see you in history and spanish, oh and then i got lost on my way to the cafeteria and ended up in the library so i ate there instead while i read my book" Eddie laughed, her excitement over literally everything made his heart flutter "sweetie i'm sorry you got lost and I'm sorry i couldn't help you, did you ask anyone for help?" Hearing this, her smile faded a little "i did actually, i met a small group and asked them where the cafeteria was, but the indications they gave me were for the library"
Eddie couldn't believe it, it was her first day, why were they this mean with her already? He can't wait to graduate and stop seeing these jocks faces again "oh sweetheart, those are idiots, gimme your schedule, i will walk you to every classes from now on"
Y/N tried to tell him it wasn't necessary but he didn't want to listen to it, he decided in that moment that he wanted to protect her, no matter what.
And Eddie kept his words, he would walk her to every class the next morning and for lunch he straightly led her to his table.
He couldn't wait to introduce her to the hellfire and maybe, if he was lucky, she would want to know more about DnD.
But his sweet, sweet Y/N surprised him once more: turned out that not only she knew DnD, but she used to play with her friends back in Chicago, she had a character of high class and level.
"I'm so excited that you guys play too, i was worried i had to stop playing but I'm so happy i found you, can i join the next session? If you're okay with that of course, i don't want to intrude, you know...if you're already far along on your campaign" everyone at the table started shouting "if we are okay? You must join us, our fair maid, is been a while since a cutie like you joined us and to be fair, I'm tired of always do the female voices" Gareth reassured Y/N and Eddie didn't like his flirty tone.
He knew he just wanted to make her feel comfortable, and he also knew that if he told him about his interest for y/n, Gareth would back off immediately, but Eddie still couldn't help but feel jealous at their small interaction.
He quickly noticed how she nice she was to everyone, so he wasn't surprised that she got along with the Hellfire club as soon as she sat down on their table.
"I really can't wait for you to join our sadistic campaign, but I'm afraid we might have to postpone this Friday, the drama club needs the room, so I will keep you posted on this guys, milady" Eddie informed his little sheep
"Oh well if you have an issue with that, we might do the session at my place, both my parents work the night shift so is just me and Pluto at home" Eddie grinned at her words "Aw sweetie, that's nice of you to offer you castle for our session, and Pluto? You named your dog after Mickey's dog?"
"Dog? Pluto isn't a dog, is my black cat, I named him after the Poe's short story, especially since my baby is also missing one eye, like in the story"
"That's sick baby, you have a one eyed cat? And I didn't think you liked Poe, I thought you were more of a Austen girl"
Y/N giggled, she was totally expecting this reaction "yes Austen is amazing but I love Poe's work a lot, I try to not stick to one genre only but to keep my books collection varied, currently I'm reading Salem's lot and The hobbit"
"The hobbit? Girl, please, you have to stop, or I'll fall for you more than I'm already doing"
Y/N blushed, she wasn't used to men flirting with her, and whenever it happened, she just got embarrassed and they gave up in the end, but Eddie seemed to be obsessed with her since they met and she couldn't help but wonder if he was actually interested or if he was having pity of the new girl.
Either way y/n couldn't believe she found new friends so early and that also played DnD, she was so excited.
Friday evening couldn't come sooner, y/m spent the afternoon baking brownies amd cookies, she wanted to make them feel comfortable and what's better than something sweet to fuel the brain?
Besides all these boys definitely were hungry.
Eddie's mouth watered at the sight, he doesn't remember the last time he ate something sweet that weren't candies or chocolate bars, and definitely didn't remember the last time he ate something homemade.
The session went incredibly well, they all had fun and y/n was a big addiction to Eddie's club, he felt truly happy after a long time.
He finally found a girl who wasn't afraid to be herself, and mostly, that seemed to like him a lot and wasn't afraid to show it.
He couldn't wait more, he needed to tell her that he liked her back, he needed to show her how much.
That's why he stayed after the session, he said he wanted to help her clean everything, when he actually wanted to be alone with her.
"So, how did you find everything? I hope you will join us for the next session" Eddie asked her while he was taking the plates away
"Oh, I thought I was part of the club already, of course I will join you for the next session, I had so much fun, you're an amazing dungeon master, Eddie the banished" and with that Eddie couldn't help himself anymore "do you want to go on a date with me? Tomorrow or whenever you want?" He blurted out, he planned to ask her in a smoother way but he genuinely couldn't wait anymore
Y/N blushed at the question, she thought he would never ask, and she answered with way too much eagerness "oh yes, I would love to, we could go to the drive in or the movies or the arcade, whatever you want really, I like everything and I know I will have fun because I love spending time with you, sorry I didn't mean love I meant like, yes I like..."
Eddie loved listening to her rambling, she was so cute when she was nervous like this, so he decided to put her out of her misery and simply do what he thought was the best way to calm her nerves: he leaned and gently pressed his lips on hers.
When they separate, y/n whispered "you kissed me" still in shock "yeah, sorry maybe I should've ask is you were okay with that or wait for our first date" Eddie replied
Hearing this, y/n chuckled and kissed him again, this time with more confidence, and in that moment, Eddie understood that she wasn't planning to go anywhere, and neither did he.
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suprababka · 6 months ago
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heyy!❤️ i really love your writing!! i am kinda drunk rn so i was wondering how they would react if you know, drunk text them and that stuff, telling them “ohh i love you sosososo much u r the best bf” and just being stubborn. if it triggers you dont worry but i think it would be funny🫶🏻
Helloooo!👋 Thank you for your kind words and the request!🥰 To be honest, I don't drink alcohol, so it was a bit hard for me to depict a drunk Reader. I did analyze the behavior of my drunk friends and how the drunk Reader is portrayed in other smaus. I saw that people are usually sensitive or make typos in their messages, that's why I decided to combine these two "things". I hope that the smau turned out funny and not cringe :))) Oh, and I hope you had a nice hangover..?😅 (almost 3 months later after this ask was sent... but still😋) If something is not right, please let me know, and I'll fix it. Have fun!💕
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Drunk texting them
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A/N: Happy birthday to YOU!🥳 Yes, you🫵 ..If you have birthday today, that is... or just come back when it's your birthday😉
Thanks for all the likes, comments, reblogs and following me! I really appreciate your feedback and support, guys!🥰🫶
You can check my masterlist to see more of my other works.
Prepare for possible OOC!
Also be aware of implied fem!reader!
(Sorry if there are any mistakes!)
And, most importantly, enjoy!!!
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Saitama & Genos & Speed-o'-Sound Sonic
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Garou & Metal Bat & Amai Mask
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Flashy Flash & Zombieman & King
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localratwithcowboyhat · 8 months ago
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yes i am aware there is a typo, you don’t need to point it out :)
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vic-el-puerco · 3 months ago
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She cannot be disscused.
(Yes, i am aware of the typos. No, i am not correcting them)
Blsky post
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smileycarat · 2 years ago
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delulu thoughts: jeonghan ver
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a/n: just me fangirling about jeonghan lolz, sorry for potential typos
whenever i see jeonghan, i automatically think he’s such a gentle kisser
don’t get me wrong, i do think he can have those more heated moments and such, and i would later love to explore that in another fic
but something about the thought of just lounging together on a sunday morning and him giving you the softest kisses throughout the day i aM SEVERELY UNWELL
just enjoying both of each other’s presence away from the public and the limelight that seems to follow him everyday
being in the comfort of your own home where he gets to let lose and relax without constantly being aware of what happens around him in public
having the opportunity to see how he’s like behind closed doors and to experience the way he cups your face with his sweater paws and kisses your brow-bone first, then your cheekbone, then your nose, and finally your lips with the most feather-like kisses there is
being able to wake up to him softly tracing the bridge of your nose and then softly your cheekbone as you wake
you being the first person he speaks to in the morning, his voice still rough from sleep, and you being the last person he speaks to before bed, his voice laced with sleepiness but still pushing through to make sure he wishes you goodnight even if you’re already asleep the moment your head hits the pillow
i think a lot of people would expect him to be slightly chaotic based of how he sometimes presents himself in gose or concerts and yes he can be chaotic, but he’s a gentle chaotic (idek if that makes sense???)
he will sometimes surprise you with the most odd things out of nowhere, like that one time you had a little bit of frosting on your nose from biting into a cupcake
mans is giggling at your appearance and you’re confused because you don’t know what has set him off this time and you’re just looking at him like ???
and he just jokingly rolls his eyes, makes a tsk noise while shaking his head but reaches out to hold your jaw to stop you from moving
then he proceeds to just lick off the frosting off your nose
“what? i couldn’t just leave you like this without telling you” he says after your wide eyed expression
“you could have used a napkin like a normal person!”
he giggles at the way you roll your eyes and pulls you back by the crook of your elbow as you start to move away
“look, we’re even now” he says after he smears frosting on his lips
you both could just be relaxing on the couch laying down and on opposite ends, but he always has either a leg or an arm extended to have contact with you
is completely the type to pull your legs up to his lap to rub at your ankle
or be the type to use his slender hands to knead at the knots between your shoulder blades
i could see him liking to lay down on top of you during a nap and kissing you right under your ear all the way down to your collarbone
this isn’t even in an explicit manner, he just likes to do it for the sake of doing it (also loves the giggle he gets out of you if you’re feeling ticklish)
i could see him as liking to be the one to stay in on his days off and just lounging in matching sweats with you
but also willing and always ready to take a quick trip down to the convenience store with you past midnight in your matching sweats and slippers to grab a snack
absolutely WILL hold your hand all the way to and from the convenience store even though it’s just a few minutes walk
beware, he does not like when you get separated by a street lamp and will pull you to his side so you don’t have to unlink your hands
just a few delulu thoughts about jeonghan <3
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shegatsby · 10 months ago
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Love Thy Enemy
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Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.
A/n; Hi my little doves, sorry i kept you waiting because i had my uncle and his family over from Germany and we spent quality time and also im working and my work is crazy lately but here i am. Love you all xx (sorry for any typos)
TAG LIST IS OPEN! (let me know if i forgot to tag you)
Warnings; Fighting! SMUT in next chapter!
Words; 3.529K
Chapter Eight ‘’Newly Weds''
She had to admit the food was delicious, she was aware that the meat dishes were exactly the way she prefered it, but she had no appetite, the grand hall was packed, houses all around the galaxy came to her wedding, including her sister-in-law and best friend Irulan, their tables were close so she saw Irulan smiled at her warmly, maybe she was encouraging her or feeling pity, Y/N couldn’t read her face from afar. Various guests brought presents such as; ancient scripts, carpets made of spice, valuable stones to make jewelry.. after a while she lost count.
When it was time to dance Feyd-Rautha bolted to his feet with a stoic expression and extended his hand to his new bride, ‘’May I have this dance?’’ it wasn’t a question he was basically demanding and it was custom for bride and groom to start the dance, the entire galaxy knew it. ‘’Yes, my Lord.’’ She replied and held his warm hand, his fingers grasped her delicate hand, he led her to the obsidian dance floor, when he held her waist she felt a sudden rush to her chest like her blood just gathered there.
‘’Try to smile, everyone is watching us.’’ He said quietly, obviously caring for his reputation and his wife’s. She looked into his eyes first, he was an excellent dancer and she was in awe every time, his blue orbits made her feel like they were the only two people in the grand hall, she felt at ease and automatically the corners of her lips lifted up into a gentle smile, a smile that pleased Feyd deeply but he kept his composure.
Soon other couples joined them, she followed Feyd’s eyes to a couple dancing close to them and she turned to see the couple, Pyramus and his fiancé were dancing…
Y/N’s eyes couldn’t believe what she was witnessing, ‘’Aww, are you hurt little dove?’’ she turned to Feyd, his tone was mocking but his eyes held something else, she could see a storm brewing in those ocean eyes, ‘’He doesn’t interest me anymore.’’ She was telling the truth but in Feyd’s dark mind she was a liar. Feyd didn’t respond and kept guiding the dance however he could feel raw rage building in him. His mind which was led by his uncle for so long was doubting his wife’s reply;
‘’She is lying, isn’t she?’’
‘’One cannot forget someone they once held dear..’’
‘’Were they ever intimate with each other?’’
His twisted mind kept twirling into those dark thoughts but his perfectly chiseled face showed no evidence of it.
Y/N’s eyes watched the guests retrieve to their guest chambers one by one, it was almost dawn and she was tired, her feet were killing her but Feyd stood still like a champion, she wondered if he was tired as well but his composure promised otherwise, Y/N found herself admiring her husband for being strong and when she caught herself doing it she shook her weary head in disbelief.
‘’Congratulations again dear nephew.’’ Baron Vladimir approached in his elevated carriage, towering above them, ‘’Thank you uncle.’’ Feyd’s response was short, Y/N bowed to show respect, Reverend Mother was next to Baron in her black clothing, covered head to toe, ‘’I shall pray for the old gods and the new for your marriage to succeed.’’ She said her eyes only focused on Y/N, she understood Reverend Mother’s true intentions, after all Y/N was one of them and she was trained to read between the lines, Reverend Mother was basically saying that ‘’I’ll pray for you to survive and keep Harkonnens connected to the Bene Gesserit by blood’’ one way or another she had to produce heirs but her plan was to avoid it as much as she could. ‘’Thank you Reverend Mother.’’ She bowed to her as well.
The way to Feyd’s chambers were covered with white roses, it was a custom of the Harkonnes, when the celebration of marriage ends the bride and groom walk back to the groom’s chambers hand in hand among white flowers to consummate the marriage.
Y/N’s heart was beating at full speed, his hand was like a cage to her hand, the hall was so silent that she could her heart beat in her ears, she knew the way to his chambers since she had been occupying it for days. She turned to get a glance of Feyd, her husband… his stoic face made her even more uneasy, she never liked not knowing or not predicting someone’s actions.
When they reached to the black door Feyd let go of her hand to open the door, he walked in and extended his hand, she took his hand again and walked in and her skin froze when she heard the door close.
‘’Do I have to kill him for you to stop loving him?’’ was Feyd’s first words to Y/N since the dance, she knew something was wrong with him.
‘’Pardon me?’’ she turned to face him, they were in the bedroom section, the entire chambers living room, bathroom and bedroom were spotless and decorated with white roses, it smelled nice.
Staring down at her, Feyd’s eyes were dark and intense as he asked the question that had been weighing on his twisted mind  since the celebrations, ‘’Do you still love him even after he sold you off for spice?’’ his voice laced with a hint of jealousy and possessiveness. His gaze remained on her, not entirely convinced by her words earlier when she said that Pyramus didn’t interest her anymore, ‘’Then why does he still have an effect on you?!’’ he asked, his tone tinged with skepticism.
She couldn’t believe that she was being accused of this, ‘’Why would a man who sold me for spice could have an effect on me?!’’
Feyd smirked as her anger flared, relishing the fact that he had gotten under her skin. ‘’it’s a simple question little dove,’’ he said coolly, his lips slightly curled in a smug smile. The mention of her ex’s betrayal ignited a fire within him, fueling his own possessive instinct. ‘’Then why was he eyeing you so intently during our wedding?’’
His questioning made her roll her eyes, was he out of his mind? Well, it was Feyd so anything could be possible. ‘’You should ask him that my Lord!’’
Feyd’s irritation grew at her eye roll and insolent response. He couldn’t help but tighten his jaw in annoyance. ‘’I am asking you little dove.’’ He said firmly, he took a step closer, towering over her in an attempt to assert his dominance. ‘’Explain why he was staring at you like that.’’
Y/N was puzzled, how could she know? She didn’t move away from him, Feyd’s patience was wearing thin. He grabbed her chin forcefully, his grip not quite painful, but firm enough to make his intentions clear. ‘’Why can’t you just give me a straightforward answer? Do you enjoy testing my limits?’’ he growled, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face, searching for any hint of deception.
Y/N didn’t back away from his grip even though it was a bit painful, ‘’As I have said, I do not know anything about him anymore, I left him in my past and I shall not bring him to my present and my future.’’ She replied calmly but she could feel the tears forming at the corner of her pretty eyes, Feyd’s grip on her chin remained firm as he leaned in closer, his gaze unwavering as he continued to question her, ‘’Why should I believe you?’’ he asked, his tone sharp, ‘’You say you’ve left him in the past, but your actions contradict your words. I don’t buy it.’’
He was being unbelievably stubborn, was he threatened by Pyramus?
‘’I was on your side the entire time.’’ She protested, his fingers were digging in her jaw, he noticed the tears forming but remained unyielding, he took a step closer again, his body now mere inches away from her, his breath warm against her lips as he continued to probe, ‘’That might be true,’’ he admitted begrudgingly, ‘’but that doesn’t change the fact that I can sense the lingering connection between you two. Don’t try to deny it. I’m no blind.’’
Maybe he still had feelings for her but she had none left, ‘’I do not know how I can convince you but I don’t love him.’’
Feyd’s hand dropped to his side, she was free from his grasp, he didn’t say anything, didn’t have to because she could see that he was still questioning her with his eyes. He pulled out a pocket knife and moved to the bed, Y/N was watching his every move. He cut his palm and smeared the blood on the side she usually slept, before she could ask he spoke with a cold tone; ‘’In few hours maids will come to take our sheets to my uncle to show him that we have consummated our marriage.’’ He took of his clothes and threw them around, he wasn’t even looking at her side of the room. He was only in his undergarments and he got under the covers, ‘’You should scatter your clothes around the room and get some sleep.’’ His back was turned to her, Y/N did what she was told and with her lacy white undergarments she got under the covers and turned her back to him. Sleep came quicker than usual.
Feyd-Rautha was a lot of things but not a liar, after getting some sleep maids have entered their bedchambers to wake them up for the new day ahead and also to ‘’change the bed sheets’’ when they saw the blood Y/N noticed the small smiles they shared among themselves, her Bene Gesserit training told her that the servants were happy to have her as their new lady. Na-Baroness Y/N Harkonnen.
Breakfast was ready for them but Feyd ignored her and left their quarters to his study room to get some work done, he was a busy man and the house Harkonnen’s future depended on him.
While she was having her breakfast she announced; ‘’I would like to visit Giedi Prime’s orphanage.’’ Her request was an odd one, maids around the room couldn’t comprehend her request, ‘’Now that I am the Na-Baroness I represent my husband. I do not wish to busy his already occupied mind about charity work and other social details. I want to see the conditions of the orphanage and offer my help. Don’t let the workers there know that I shall visit.’’ As an Atreides born and raised ladies of her house tended to more social problems and handled them with perfection. Even though she didn’t wish to marry into Harkonnens now she had duties to fulfill, Reverend Mother’s words hanged in her weary mind, the old lady was right in a sense. Y/N had to survive no matter what and her plan was to gain the public’s affection. Show them what kind of a woman she was and how useful and helpful she could be.
Little spies of Feyd-Rautha whispered into his ear that Na-Baroness wished to visit the orphanage today, she ordered her maids to prepare bags filled with clothes, medicine, toys. Feyd found himself smiling when his spies left. He changed his plans for today and decided to join his wife.
Y/N was waiting for the ship to arrive and take her and her servants to the orphanage when she noticed her servants bowing to someone, it was a hot day and the black sun of Giedi Prime made everything look too shiny white and dark black. Her dress was simple, she wanted to give a nice impression and as her first day being Na-Baroness she had to be careful. A soft wind made the silk grey dress clung to her thighs, it was a modest one, she turned on the open field to see who was coming and saw him in all black head to toe.
‘’You thought I would let you leave the fortress on your own Na-Baroness?’’ his raspy voice was sarcastic yet held a truth to it, it was too dangerous outside for the royals to roam. ‘’As I have proven before I can hold my own but-‘’ she watched him stand next to her, his hands clasped on his lower stomach, he leaned in to hear her clearly and it made her aware once again about the height difference.
‘’I do appreciate it.’’ She finished looking up at him, he did something which surprised Y/N, he kissed her temple with his soft lips, placed his hand on the small of her back, his gesture made the servants stand there in disbelief, they have never witnessed their Na-Baron being gentle with someone, especially a woman…. Y/N noticed the glances the servants shared among each other but paid no mind. She let them whisper, if it meant that she could win the public by simple and soft gestures shared between her and her husband then she was happy to oblige. When the ship arrived Feyd held her hand and guided her inside.
The trip to the orphanage was calm, Y/N and Feyd shared a small room together, she was sitting by the small window, ‘’So,’’ she began watching the scenery before her eyes, nothing but buildings, roads and factories, at a distance she could see a forest but it was far. ‘’There is nothing wrong when you don’t dine with me but if I refuse…’’ she mentioned earlier today when he left without a word. Feyd was getting a drink, he froze with her questioning, didn’t except her to say something about it.
‘’I thought you don’t like my company, matter of fact,’’ he turned to her with a glass of wine in his palm, ‘’you said it yourself before.’’ He was teasing.
Her hands resting on her lap, she started to play with her fingers with uneasiness, ‘’I may have said something like that before.’’ She tried to hide her smirk but he saw.
‘’My Na-Baron, we have arrived.’’ A guard announced and Y/N took deep breaths before they left the ship together.
The sun again blocked her vision for few seconds when the doors of the ship opened, she forced her  eyes to stay open and get used to it. She felt his hand wrapping around her hand and together they got off the ship.
The orphanage was gigantic and white, pure white, the floors were marble with grey veins. When she looked around and found not a single tree or a bush, she thought that had to be changed.
‘’Na-Baron,’’ a man approached them like his life was at stake, he was a tall old man with a long beard and bald head, ‘’And Na-Baroness, congratulations. We pray for this union to bring prosperity and power to us.’’ He bowed, ‘’Thank you Ser.’’ Feyd-Rautha spoke with his formal manner, it was amazing to see him shift that quickly. ‘’If we had known that you were visiting we would have been ready for you.’’ He seemed embarrassed, ‘’Please,’’ she spoke with a soft tone, ‘’Do not fret. I am here to see the conditions of the children who live here and we have brought clothes, medicine and toys for them. May we see inside?’’
The old man was startled by her soft spoken nature, ‘’Of course my Na-Baroness.’’ He bowed again and led them inside.
The walls were grey marble, there was no vibrant colors for children to see and it broke her heart. In a way Y/N was an orphan, being apart from her actual parents and staying somewhere that wasn’t home… Feyd noticed the sudden shift in his wife, her hand went to her chest in a troubled manner, ‘’Are you feeling unwell.. wife?’’ just like her Feyd was also getting used to being married and having a wife. Y/N turned to smile kindly, ‘’I am fine Na-Baron, thank you.’’ She replied shortly, Feyd didn’t pressured her to explain but he made a mental note to observe her closely. Y/N noticed the looks she got from children around her, they watched her walk gracefully in awe, everyone knew the yesterday’s grand wedding and ever citizen wanted to see the Na-Baroness up close. She smiled and bowed her head slightly to the children and watched them blush and avert their afraid gaze to somewhere and look back at her again. As a Bene Gesserit her mission was to make the citizens of Giedi Prime follow the Sisterhood’s prophecies and laws but as Y/N her mission was to win their favor and show them kindness.
Together they looked at the children’s bedrooms, toilet chambers and common rooms for hang out and eating. The building was old thus the furniture and plumbing system as well. Y/N, clearly was aware that everyone was watching her, held her husband’s arm in a loving manner and spoke ‘’My dear, we should renovate this institute in our name so that children here can have the newest technology and luxuries to succeed.’’ Her plan was to move the Baron and Rabban aside and make her name and Feyd’s name more popular among the people. ‘’Such an excellent idea dear.’’ He agreed, it made her eyes shine in hope which he noticed and felt a strange sensation at his chest, the symptom was heart attack but it was impossible. Then what was it? He didn’t linger on it.
Y/N personally gave the children boxes of toys, she talked to them, listened to their dreams and Feyd found himself watching her while he was talking to the workers. His eyes were on her, she was such a natural at being kind and nurturing that he was in awe of it, all his life he was shown nothing but brutality, fight, and blood. Women in his life before were trained to be an accessory in his life style, however Y/N was the opposite and she never tried to fit in, it seemed like she had a mission and she was following it like the paper ship on a lake, flowing in the water’s direction swiftly.
It was getting dark when their work was done, they said their goodbyes and got on the ship to return to the fortress. Not knowing what was waiting for them.
The ride to the fortress was calm one, they sat in comfortable silence, she could feel his eyes every once in a while, thanks to her trainings she could sense if someone was watching her. The question she was pondering on since last night came to her again ‘’Why didn’t he sleep with me last night?’’ It was their wedding night and ever since she was brought here he seemed eager to have her and when it came to it he stayed distant, his action last night left her in disbelief. He literally cut his palm and rubbed the blood on their sheets to trick the Baron and the rest of Giedi Prime but why?
‘’Last night,’’ she found herself speak, Feyd was sitting next to her and she caught his attention, ‘’Yes?’’ his raspy voice brought her to reality, she changed her mind. ‘’Never mind.’’
As soon as they landed a servant came to collect them, said it was urgent and the Baron requested their presence. She followed Feyd, he was holding her hand, guiding her.
Baron was waiting for them at the strategy room, every house had a room like this one to have meetings for war, spice etc. Baron, as always was in his floating device, ‘’Greetings young couple.’’ His voice didn’t match his words, ‘’Hello uncle.’’ He let go of her hand, didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. She watched Baron witnessed it and smile with victory, she was good at reading expressions.
‘’There is trouble in Arrakis, Rabban is messing up the whole spice production,’’ Baron began, ‘’you have to take his place and deal with Fremen rebels.’’ He was newlywed and Baron didn’t even hesitate to give him an onerous  mission ‘’Me and my wife shall get ready in an hour and-‘’ his speech was cut off, ‘’This matter only concerns you Feyd. Na-Baroness shall stay here and wait for your return. You have consummated the marriage, I’m sure when you come back you will hold your first born.’’
Y/N froze in her state. She was going to be here all alone, Feyd was refusing to look at her because if he did he would slice his uncle’s throat.
The walk back to their chambers was slow and quiet, their fingers brushed and left stingy sensation, when Feyd closed the door behind him the realization hit Y/N. According to Baron, Feyd was suppose to be gone for 9 months maybe more.. she turned to him and his expression broke her heart. He looked like that little boy she met years ago, alone and afraid. ‘’I don’t want to leave you.’’ He confessed which made her throat clench itself in agony, he looked away for a moment, contemplating something in his mind and he cursed under his breath and closed the distance between them, their lips met in passion.
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