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just-some-random-blogger · 22 days ago

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Tormented Spirit | 11

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: very brief daemon cameo here. but he'll be back next chapter. please leave comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3

@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones

Upon Daemon's abrupt leave, the king named Rhaenyra his heir and she has since then set out to look for a suitable match. Though the crown princess was loathe to leave, you envy the fact that she is permitted to leave King's Landing at all.

There is a knock on your door. "Princess?"

You open the door and smile at the knight, "Erryk."

Erryk nods and tries to smile back at you. It is hard, considering you look like you have been crying. He tries to lift your spirits by saying, "I am flattered to know I am now set apart."

You take his arm after closing your door, "you have always been set apart, good ser."

The two of you walk off and break fast together. It is silent, as it has been for two moons now. You have not told him any stories since your husband's leave. You barely speak at all, in fact. Most of the time you lock yourself in your room and he pretends he does not hear your sobs. To say he is concerned is an understatement.

And, of course, there was another matter.

Once more, in silence, you walk down the halls, this time with him trailing behind you. You are headed for your father's office. Once there, you knock on his door, and he answers.

Erryk hotly eyes Otto before nodding in regard, "Lord Hand."

"Has my daughter eaten?" is all Lord Hand ever says, to him or his brother.

"Yes," your ward replies each time.

Erryk watches as your father takes your hand and links it in his arms. He leans towards you and gentle speaks, as he has ever since you threw yourself into the sea. He even rubs your knuckles as you walk off to the maester's ward. Yet, through it all, Erryk finds no comfort in this new found gentleness your father offers. He is deeply suspicious, but for your sake, he tries to convince himself your father has changed.

Each day, without fail, you and your father visit your maester together, and each day, without fail, he worries for you more and more.

Erryk straightens up when the door to the maester's opens. He is quick to come to your side and offer his arm as you wave your father good bye. Otto does not regard you before walking off. He never does.

You smile at Erryk once it's just the two of you. The latter asks, "how are you feeling?"

You notice the lines on his forehead, and it makes your lips flatten. You tilt your head, "same as I felt yesterday," you place a hand on his cheek, "and the day before... so do not worry for me."

"Forgive me, princess," Erryk lowers his gaze and pulls your hand away, "but such a thought cannot comfort me for you have been nothing but sad since Daemon left."

You clasp your hands together, "that's hardly his fault."

"Is it not?" Erryk questions rather harshly.

"Not really..." you offer a soft smile, "none but my brother remembers the days prior to my sadness." You chuckle under your breath, "and even then, I am aware he feeds me honeyed words"

Erryk gulps when you take his arm. He wants so badly to caress your cheeks as you bring a beaming smile to your face.

"Do not torture yourself trying to make me happy," you raise your brows at him as you lead him off, "you did not meet me happy, Erryk, and it is not your job to make the impossible happen."

You examine his expression as you make your way back to your chambers. You had hoped he could find some sort of comfort in this truth, but he looks only more worried. You sigh, "would you like to know why it is I visit the maester everyday?"

Erryk knits his brows, "I only like what you want."

"..."

"And if my lady wanted it, she would have already told me why her father brings her to the maesters daily."

You carefully mutter his name.

He stares at you for a moment, hand itching to clutch your cheeks. He holds himself back but mutters your name with such a softness, it makes your skin prick with goosebumps.

Your breath hitches and you have to look away. You huff and lick your lips, "I am with child."

He stops in his tracks.

You pull away to stand before him. You feel incredibly self-conscious as his face contorts.

"My-" he starts by then bows his head, "Seven bless you for the fortunate news," he slowly looks up at you, "congratulations."

You slowly raise your brows, "you congratulate me yet appear so frightened."

"No," he shakes his head, "I am not frightened... merely... shocked."

You aimlessly look off.

"... and perhaps... worried."

You chuckle, soft and dry, "worry will do none of us any good."

"Does the prince know?"

You look back at him. You shake your head, "no one knows."

He clenches his jaw.

"I plan to tell Arryk next," you rub your belly, "soon, I will be showing... and I do not want you to be frightened."

There is much Erryk wishes to say, much he wishes to promise you. I promise to sever any hand that rises harm you or your child. I promise, so long as I breathe, to do all I am able to assure your safety. But he says nothing because he knows you will cry. He says nothing because he can sense that you are frightened.

You begin to walk off again and Erryk wordlessly follows. You look back at him, finding him in deep thought with his gaze lowered. You turn to your fingers and fidget with them, "I did not want to announce it in case it does not last."

You can feel him looking at you.

"Even now, we do not know what the future holds."

He clenches his fists tightly, "princess-"

You turn.

"-I know it means nothing, but I believe you are stronger than you think. I have seen it, your strength... and your happiness, however small and fleeting you may think it."

Your eyes water. You reach out for him and squeeze his hand, "do not hold yourself in such low regard. Your words mean everything to me, Erryk."

You walk back to your chambers and invite Erryk inside. He remains stood by the door as you get quill and parchment. You have been writing daily two letters— one, which comes easy:

𝔐𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔡𝔞𝔶. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔲𝔫𝔢 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔴𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤'𝔰 𝔏𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔦𝔱. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔶𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔫𝔬𝔬𝔫. 𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯, 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢. ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡. ℑ𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥. 𝔚𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯.

... and another which takes far greater effort and attempts to complete:

𝔗𝔬 𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔯 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔗𝔬 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡, 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔩𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩-𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤. ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢𝔱𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔥 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡. 𝔇𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡, ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔲𝔟𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔠𝔞𝔭𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔰𝔱. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔶 ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, 𝔪𝔶 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯, 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯, 𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔵𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨, 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱 𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔱 𝔟𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔩. 𝔇𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔪𝔢? 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔣 ℑ 𝔲𝔭𝔰𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔬𝔣𝔣. ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔰𝔨𝔢𝔡. ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔩𝔶 𝔬𝔣𝔣 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔭𝔱 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔉𝔯𝔬𝔪, 𝔖𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔶, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥 𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰

In the end, this is what you sent:

𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. 𝔐𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔢𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔭𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲, ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔵𝔢𝔰, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔞𝔣𝔢. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔬 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔩𝔶. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔩𝔶, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢.

—of course, after reading it aloud to Erryk, just to be sure it was appropriate.

Erryk has only ever assured you that whatever it is you mean to tell your husband is more than appropraite, but for once, he offers that you add something. "Perhaps you should tell him that you're... you know."

You spare him a glance as you seal your letters with wax and shake your head, "why? Do you think he would return if I did?"

No. Erryk does not hold him in such a high regard.

"If he wanted to respond, he would. No matter what I have to say, I cannot change his mind if he's already set it," you stand, "and again... we don't know what the future holds."

You were right.

Woe is you who understood the inner workings of your husband. Daemon was in the middle of chewing tough, flavorless meat when he received your latest letter. You were right about not being able to change his mind about writing to you, but you were wrong in thinking your words wouldn't bring him to write back.

It would have, that is, if he ever read them.

The prince goes to Caraxes and feeds him what remained of his food. He then goes to his tent and chucks your letter along with the rest of it. He lies down in his cot and wonders what you write to him about. He wonders if you miss his touch, then touches himself to the thought of you.

A moon passes. Though you knew neither your maester nor your father would ever trick you into believing you were with child when you were not, the truth of it all only set in upon catching a glimpse of your bare body in the mirror. You had taken a warm bath in the evening because you felt sore, and upon seeing how big your breasts had become and how your belly protruded in a way it has not, you realize why you were so sore and just how real it was that you were carrying a child.

It was terrible that upon your awareness of the changes in your body, so much started to change. You found it harder to fit into your clothes as your breasts and arms required much more space than normal. Your face began to change as well, and you could scarcely recognize your own reflection with how swollen you looked. What's worse, is that your skin began to break out with painfully deep pimples.

You knew that you shouldn't be picking at them, but you couldn't help yourself, so you did, and soon your face, your neck, and even your back was littered with red blotches. You were so horrified with the way you looked, you barely left your room.

It was then Alicent began to worry.

"Just place it there," Viserys points haphazardly from where he sat.

"Here?" Alicent places the figure near some tiny stone trees.

The king looks, "no-" then comes behind her, guiding her hand from behind. Alicent tenses when his other hand comes to her waist. Viserys moves her hand and Alicent finally places the figure. The former smiles, "there."

Alicent catches her breath as the king pulls away.

Viserys sits and continues carving out the piece he had at hand. After a few moments, he notices Alicent staring at him. He quirks a brow, "something wrong, my dear?"

"Have you heard from your brother?"

He releases his block and leans back on his chair, "no."

Alicent nods, lowering her gaze.

"Why?"

She shakes her head.

"Come now," Viserys stands, "you can tell me."

Alicent looks at him when he takes her hand. She presses her lips as she feels her heart race. Her voice trembles, "m-my sister."

He hums, "has something happened to her?"

She rapidly shakes her head, "I barely see her anymore. She stays in her room days on end."

"I see," he nods, "did she and Daemon argue before he left?"

"I-" she shrugs as the king pulls away, going back to his chair, "I don't know."

Viserys spares her a look before picking up his block.

"I do know that she feels abandoned. First, Gwayne, now the prince," Alicent sighs, "she has no one."

"She has you."

She shakes her head, "she and my brother have always been close, close in a way twins are, close in a way I can never understand. She does not regard me as dearly, I don't think."

This makes his brows furrow. He tilts his head, "that is not true. Many a man would regard you dearly, Alicent."

Her throat tightens.

"And your sister is not a man," Viserys raises a hand, "does she not like to pray?"

Alicent nods slowly.

"You might want to invite her to the temple. It might cheer her up."

The girl rubs her hands together and nods. She then curtsies and heads for the door, that is, until Viserys stops her.

The king rises and takes her hand, "eager to leave, are you?"

"N- I-"

"I don't bore you, do I?"

Alicent shakes her head, "n-no! Not at all, I simply--"

"I jest," Viserys chuckles, pressing a kiss at the back of her hand, "go to her." He rubs her knuckles, "she is most fortunate to have your affections."

Alicent curtsies again and leaves.

As she makes her way to your chambers, she sees one of your servants and calls for her. The servant girl is quick to greet the lady and Alicent notices the letters in her hands.

"Have you gone to my sister?" she asks.

The servant girl nods, "yes."

"How is she?" the red haired girl sighs.

"She... is her normal self," she nods slowly.

Alicent shakes her head, "... sad?"

"Yes," she agrees.

"Who are those for?" Alicent motions to the letters she was holding.

"These?" the girl raises, "ah... your brother and good-brother, milady."

"Oh," she tilts her head slightly, "does she write to them often?"

She nods, "everyday, milady."

"Oh," she blinks. There is something about this comforts her and... hurts her. She thinks about what she confessed to the king, how she was aware you did not regard her so dearly, and yet, there was an ache in her heart to know her sister would not seek solace in her during this time.

Alicent dismisses the servant then comes to your chambers.

The Cargyll stood outside your door greets her, "my lady."

"Ser..." she nods, "Erryk?"

"Arryk, my lady."

"Ah, yes," she lowers her head, "forgive me."

"An honest mistake," he smiles, "you are here for your sister, yes?"

Alicent nods.

He turns and knocks on your door, "princess. Your sister, Lady Alicent, is here."

"I-" she steps forward and raises her voice, "wish to invite you to pray at the temple."

Arryk turns to her and smiles. Alicent smiles back and they both wait for you to respond. Only, it seems you are really taking your time.

She begins to pick at her nails and the minutes pass. She sighs, turning to ser Arryk, "maybe she is asleep."

He shakes his head, "she does not sleep at this time. She is probably changing."

"How do you now? Do you go inside to check on her?"

"I only come inside when she needs help with something," he nods curtly, "or, if perhaps, I feel sense danger in the air."

Alicent tilts her head, "but how do you know?"

"The princess is a creature of habit. Though she is good at concealing her emotions, you can only hide so much from someone who watches you closely."

"How close do you watch her, ser?"

Arryk is taken aback by the question. It was in all accounts innocent; Alicent meant nothing more that what she said, but it did not feel such to the knight. It feels as though he was caught staring longingly at you right this moment. "W-What?"

He is thankful Alicent does not get to clarify herself because you finally emerge.

Alicent perks and deflates all at once upon seeing you. You smile at her through the lacy, black veil you have covering your face. She returns your embrace as you hug her, but she cannot help but knit her brows at you, or rather, that veil on you.

"You look well, sister," you smile, taking her hands.

She takes a moment before replying, "and you...'re wearing a veil."

Your smile flattens.

Alicent is quick to shake her head, "it looks good. Very stylish."

You contain your frown and take her arm, "I am most pleased to have you here."

The both of you begin to walk off and Arryk follows after. Alicent asks, "you are?"

"Of course!" you give her a look, "why, you are normally with the princess-" you raise a finger, "-which I do not have any qualms with. Most people dream to have a friendship that you both have. But I am glad you have a moment to spare for me."

Alicent's brows raise.

"Rhaenyra is doing better now, I hope?"

"Yes," she nods slowly, "she can now talk about the queen without weeping."

"Better than I ever was," you squeeze her arm.

Alicent offers you a soft smile.

The sight of her face brings you comfort, "I have missed your company, and your pretty face, my pretty girl."

She chuckles.

"You inherited our mother's beauty and left none for me—"

"That's not-"

"—especially none for Gwayne."

Alicent chortles and you giggle in response.

Arryk smiles, feels his heart clench at the tender display before him. Thank the Seven for Alicent Hightower.

"You should join us, sister," Alicent squeeze your hand, "Rhaenyra enjoys your company as much as I do."

You shake your head, offering her a kind smile, "I would not want to infect you with my bitterness."

For a moment, Alicent wants to ask if that was why you were wearing a veil, but she decides against it.

Arryk stood a few paces away from you as you prayed in the temple. Both you and your sister were on your knees with your hands clasped and eyes closed as you recited your prayers.

"Lastly," Alicent mutters, "we pray for Daemon's safety-"

You open your eyes and turn to your sister.

"-that he, as well as the Velaryons and their fleet, may find swift victory so that they may all return to their families."

You unveil yourself, "seven hear us."

"Seven hear us," Alicent ends, bowing her head for the final time.

You try not to think of the acne staring back at Alicent when she turns to you, but her initial reaction to seeing your face makes it quite hard. She does you a favor of not saying anything regarding it however.

You squeeze her hand and whisper, "there is something I must tell you."

She gives you a solemn expression.

"I am with child."

Her eyes widen and her lips part.

"Of course, father knows, but I have not told anyone, save my wards," you shake your head, "it is why my skin is littered with blemishes, and why I do not wish to come out of my room."

She frowns, calling out your name softly.

"Not even my husband knows, Alicent," you shake your head, "and I did not tell him because-" you eyes begin to water, "because the chances of a miscarriage is still high."

Alicent can feel your fear, your worry.

"But gods, I feel like I will go mad if I keep this in any longer," you break down into a sob.

She immediately seals you into an embrace. Arryk is immediately alerted by the sound of your cries. He observes for a moment but does not act, knowing you need this moment with your sister.

Alicent feels her chest tighten, not because of how tightly you embrace her, but because of how evidently you needed this hug.

"I want to go home," you mumble.

She nods, "I'll take you back to you-"

"To Oldtown," you sniffle, taking in her scent. She smelled like your mother and it made you wonder if your presence ever felt comforting for anyone, or if you just inspired distress, "this is not my home."

"Sister," she tries to look at you, "you are married to the prin-"

"And where is he?" you blurt, pulling away.

Alicent frowns at the redness of your eyes and the wobbling of your lips.

"I feel nothing but emptiness here," you place your hand on your belly, "I do not want that emptiness to manifest within me-" you shake your head, "I do not want my bitterness to kill my unborn child."

Alicent's cheeks instantly become wet.

You wipe her tears away and frown, "will you try and help me convince father to send me home?"

She stares at you, "sister..."

It is an impossible ask, and you both know it.

"Please," you brush her red locks, "he has always favored you."

Alicent does not know if that was true. She lowers her gaze and shakes her head, "I... I will try."

Your lips wobble as you watch worry manifest on her features. Guilt begins to choke you, "forgive me for asking much of you, my baby sister."

Alicent shakes her head quicker then steels herself away, "no. I-" she nods, "I want to help."

You squeeze her hands, "do not force it if it is too hard."

Later that evening, Alicent builds her nerve and visits the Lord Hand's office. The moment she enters the room, she knows she's made a mistake, for he was in a sour mood.

"What?" he snaps, head in his hand.

It was too late, however. He will be cross if she says she's changed her mind, he will be cross if she lies and presents him with something unimportant, and he will be cross if she tells him what she actually came here for. She takes a breath, might as do it, "it's regarding my sister."

Otto immediately perks, eyes squinting, "what of her?"

"She... asked me to ask you if she could... continue the rest of her term in Oldtown."

The man tilts his head, eyes widening in disbelief, "I beg your pardon?"

"She sai-"

"She told you she's carrying?" he points a finger.

Alicent tenses. She gulps, "yes."

"When?" he snaps, coming to a stand.

"J-" she watches her father walk over, "just today."

Otto's face is hard as he recalls how you begged him not to make a spectacle of your childbearing, lest your body fails you. He thinks there is something to be said about how you were now willing to divulge this information with Alicent. He raises his brows, "who else knows?"

Alicent feels cornered. It does not feel right to divulge this information.

"Did she tell Daemon?" he places his hands on her shoulder.

She stammers, "I-... I do not know."

Otto examines her daughter. He thinks she knows more than she lets on but does not pursue it further. He sighs, caressing her cheek before pulling away, "you know, you both know, I will not allow such a thing."

He walks back to his desk and Alicent takes in a deep breath.

"If she is here, then I can see to her needs."

"She needs the warmth of home," she says.

Otto sighs as he sits down. He motions vaguely to his child, "this is her home. She's married to Daemon Targaryen."

"But the prince is not here," she steps forward, "she can return when he does."

He tilts his head. He knows her boldness comes stems from her love from you. That is why he says, "and do you really think she can return if she leaves?"

Alicent's face falls. It is incredibly subtle, but Otto catches it nonetheless.

"If your sister were to go to your brother in Oldtown, what do you think the Rogue Prince will say?" her father leans on the desk, "you bore witness to how he acted when your sister came to Gwayne when he was knocked off his horse at the tourney. Do you think he will enjoy the fact she retreated to him in this time? Do you think he will care enough to retrieve her once he returns from the Stepstones? Or will he squander in brothels and sire a thousand bastards?"

She begins to pick at her nails.

"And what of your sister's child?" Otto raises a brow, "what if she loses the babe during the journey to Oldtown? What if she loses the babe once she's there? Who then is to be blamed?"

"I-"

"And what if the baby does not inherit a single Valyrian trait?" he leans back on his chair, "what if the babe looks like a Hightower and Daemon decided to accuse her of infidelity?"

"But she would never-"

"I know that," Otto raises a finger, "you know that. Does her husband share in this knowledge?"

"..."

"It would look like she left to hide her sins."

Alicent's heart begins to pound.

"Do you understand the risk, child?"

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

Otto sighs and stands again, "I understand you mean well."

Alicent is at the brink of tears as her father approaches her again.

"But there is no way for your sister to go to Oldtown," he ushers her to the door, "without risking much." Lord Hand opens the door and gives his daughter one last, "not unless the king allows such a thing."

Alicent takes in her father's features. He smiles softly at her. Her stomach feels uneasy.

"Go to bed, Alicent," he strokes her hair, "your sister is mine to worry about, not yours."

The door closes.

It was a shock that Alicent came to you the next day, telling you that you were set to leave for Oldtown at noon. You were overjoyed and sealed your sister into the tightest hugs, "I can't believe you convinced father!"

Alicent rubs your back, softly muttering, "...I really didn't."

"Oh but you did," you chuckled in between sobs, "I owe you my first born's life."

She pulls away and shakes her head, "d-don't- don't say that."

You frown at the worry that over her face. You shake your head, "very well. Forgive me for burdening you with such a thought."

So it was that you left that day for Oldtown. You were grateful the king graciously allowed you to bring both your wards along with you. You would have been less so, had you known Alicent requested it specifically, even less had known it was not actually your father that she had convinced but the king himself, and less than that to know she was able to do so because she had been visiting him oft since the queen's passing. You would outright abhor it had you known Alicent's relationship with Viserys was borne from your father's encouragement.

Your unawareness of this made you deeply cherish the moment you saw your twin brother's face. You were exhausted from the travel, much more than usual, and yet an energy burned within you when you saw Oldtown's heir.

Gwayne outright laughed and pointed at you as you sobbed on your way over to him, "what in god's name is on your face, twin?"

You felt nothing but affection from his blatant mockery.

He coos as he pulls you into a hug once you are close enough, "now, now. I cannot have a princess weeping in my arms." He is relieved by the warmth of your being. He has not been embraced so tenderly since you've been separated. "Not an ugly one at least."

"I am with child, you miscreant," you mutter against his chest.

Gwayne's rubs your back as his face hardens with worry, "I know. Father wrote to me."

You sniffle and pull away. You glare at him, "yet you still dare to be mean to your beloved sister?"

"Spare me your tears," he says rather genuinely as takes in your wet face, "your cry-baby attitude will get nowhere with me."

Your lips wobble at the sentiment.

Gwayne actually starts feeling bad, but then you release a soft laugh.

"You fucking rat," you scratch your eyes as you break into a giggle.

Your twin gasps, turning to your wards who were approaching. Lord Hightower raises a brow at them, "are you aware your lady has a vulgar mouth on her?"

"Please, Gwayne," you shake your head, "I'm a fucking princess."

The laugh that leaves your brother is ugly, loud, and real.

Yes, your unawareness made you cherish every moment you spend in Oldtown. It was still hard to be with child; there were the food aversions and cravings, soreness, sickness, and mood swings that haunted you, but the spirit of emptiness remained in King's Landing. Now that you were free from the scrutiny of court, from the politicking of your father, there was a lightness within you that you had not felt in a long time.

You recounted the things you and Gwayne used to do when you were younger, then caught yourself imagining your child doing the same. Suddenly, you didn't feel so terrified by the thought of bringing a child into this world. The Cargyll twins can attest to the shift in your demeanor.

It was a shame that a moon's worth of happiness disappeared in an instant all because of a single letter.

Gwayne comes to a stand from his spot upon seeing you react so physically to whatever it was you were reading. The Cargyll twins, who were breaking fast with both of you, stand to attention as well.

You clutch your chest as your other hand crushes the letter you just read.

"What is it?" your brother asks, "what has happened?"

"It's Alicent," you feel your chest tighten.

Gwayne comes to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder. He is alarmed by your tension, "sister, sister. Breathe."

You clutch your belly. It's much pronounced now, and you know it adds to your struggle to breathe.

"Breathe," your twin repeats, "that's it."

You manage to calm yourself, but soon tears begin to fall from your eyes, "Gwayne."

"Yes, I'm Gwayne," he squeezes your shoulder, "what's happened to Alicent?"

You shake your head and look up at him, "she's getting married."

The man pulls his head back. His brows knit, "married? To whom?"

Your breath hitches as you push yourself up to a stand, "to the king."

Whatever confusion he had regarding your reaction instantly dissipates. This match reeked of politicking, politicking from the Hand of the King. Gwayne clenches his jaw as helps you up. He feels the same emotions he did upon learning of your own betrothal. History was repeating itself, yet now, your brother's chest is tighter. He had always believed your father wouldn't be so cruel to willingly give you to the Rogue Prince, but now... he realizes this was something he wanted to believe.

Gwayne calls your name out as you begin to walk off, "where are you going?"

"Where do you think?" you snap.

You despise every second spent on the way back to King's Landing. You are exhausted when you return and you are loathe to see your father waiting for you.

Otto calls your name and greets you with a smile. His glee is genuine. He is wholeheartedly pleased to see how much better you look from your visit to Oldtown, "I am glad to see time with your twin has livened you, my girl."

As true as that may be, it was your anger that livened you in this moment. You despise him as he takes your cheeks and kisses your forehead. You destest him as he grins.

"I have missed you."

You wish you hated him more as not to be so affected by this. Your nostrils flare, "where is my sister?"

His face falls slightly at your complete ignorance to his greeting. He pulls away, "getting ready for her nuptials."

You stare at him. The burst of affection he had for your wanes enough for him to recognize your look, your glare. It was written all over. Anger. Defiance. Hurt. It could not be contained.

"Am I not enough for you, father?" you quip under your breath as your eyes begin to water.

Otto looks around then takes your hand, "let us speak insi-"

"Is it not enough?!" you break free from his hold. You seethe, "—that I am about to deliver you a royal grandchild and you should require my baby sister to do the sa-"

"She is not a baby," he quips.

You clench your jaw, "she just turned ten and-"

"She is in ripe marrying age."

You turn away from him. You are about to walk away, and he knows it. He cannot stand it.

"She did this so you could go to Oldtown," he snaps, pointing an accusing finger at you.

You give the Hand one last look before going to your sister.

Alicent is equally overjoyed and worried by your appearance. Just as she assures you that you didn't have to come all this way, you silence her by telling her, "it is not too late."

Your sister is frozen in her spot as you explain the plans you have for her to escape her marriage with the king. She can tell that you have thought about it greatly, considering the speed and detail in which you speak it. The only thing that manages to quiet you is the way she says, "it is done."

"W-what?"

"I am decided," Alicent shakes her head as her eyes begin to water, "do you not notice how your plans to save me demand your suffering?"

Your brows knit, "I will suffer no more than I already do."

She sniffles as she speaks your name, "when mother died... I watched you writhe in pain. None but Gwayne ever offered you true comfort."

"And you!" you clutch her cheeks, "you foolish girl! Do you not understand, I wish to free you from-"

"We are all of us destined to be a prisoner," Alicent mutters as tears fall from her eyes, "us, more than most. If not the king, I will be married off to another man I do not want."

You clench your jaw, "Ali-"

"At least if I am queen, I can save you from Daemon."

Your heart stops. You rest your forehead on hers, "you stupid little girl."

Your words burn her. She watches as you pull away, finding the tears staining your cheeks.

"If you are doing this for me, and you marry him... I will never speak to you again."

Her face drops.

"Did I not tell you that I should be the one to do such things for you?"

"Sister," she takes your hand, "... I am stronger than you."

"... oh."

"I can help."

You lower your gaze and nod. You pull away from her and walk away.

Less than a fortnight later, your sister marries the king and is proclaimed the new Queen of the Seven Realms.

#daemon fanfic #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen fanfic #daemon smut #daemon targaryen smut #daemon fluff #daemon targaryen fluff #house of the dragon fanfic #house of the dragon smut #hotd fanfic #hotd smut #daemon angst #daemon targaryen angst #daemon #daemon targeryan #house of the dragon

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sapphiresandferrari · 18 days ago

Text

Sweet encounters

Pairing: Eddie Munson x oc!reader

Summary: Eddie meets the new student, and he inevitably falls for her

Warnings: none, pure fluff and slightly simp Eddie

A/N: hi, I finally wrote a new fic, about Eddie Munson this time.

I hope you will like it and, as always, comments, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated, let me know your thoughts, please, it helps me improve

Also English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if I made some mistakes or typos

Enjoy 🫶🏻

Eddie hated early mornings, he absolutely hated them.

The only occasions he woke up early without a groan and a big instinct to kill the first person in front of him, were when he had to drive to go to a concert or to shop for new records and band shirts.

Other than that, he utterly disliked waking up early, his brain doesn’t start to function until 11 am.

However, this year Eddie was focused and determined: he wanted to graduate, so he could finally leave this town for good and try to make it to the music scene.

He knew his band was good enough to make it, sure they need way more practice, and definitely a bigger crowd than the 5 drunks at the Hideout, but they could make it, he knew it in his bones.

In order to graduate tho, he had to put lots of effort this year, so that means waking up on time and actually show up for classes even if they were boring, do all the assignments (possibly on time too) and most importantly, try to get at least all D.

That's why every morning he woke up with a living will up to 0 but he was stubborn: he wanted to graduate and he will.

After drinking the biggest cup if coffee known to mankind, he hopped on his van and drove to school.

He checked his schedule and headed to the chemistry lab.

He arrived surprisingly early, so he could sit alone and doodle in peace, until he heard the chair beside him moving.

He turned his head and saw a girl, curly hair, all pink and laces, never seen before, she looked at him, her eyes wide, scared "is this seat taken? Can i sit here?".

He couldn't belive his ears, was she aware of his reputation? Did she know anything, honestly?

He couldn't tell, so he simply told her that yes, the seat was free and she could stay there, turning back to his doodles.

"Oh thank you, I'm new you know? Ao i don't know anyone and everyone here seems to be pretty close to each other and i saw you alone so i thought i could sit here but then I thought it was better to ask cause what if you were waiting for someone, and...maybe is better if i shut up"

Jeez she talked a lot, but Eddie found it somehow cute, she looked like a lost kitty, he didn't know if he should try to be friendly or keep staying silent and let her go.

She didn't seem to have things in common with him so he didn't see the point into trying to be friends, but she also looked scared and he could help her, at least at the beginning.

"Hey calm down, is fine, i wasn't waiting for anyone, the seat is all yours", she nodded at his words but he could see in her eyes that she was worried, on edge.

He felt bad for her, maybe he sounded too harsh than he wanted to, the poor thing was already scared to death, he definitely didn't make it better

He decided to try again "so first day...you must be nervous" she looked at him, breathing heavy "I'm more than nervous, I'm terrified, i was actually excited to start school even if I don't know anyone here, and yes, Hawkins isn't Chicago, but i thought maybe i could make some new friends but then as soon as i entered school everyone looked at me like i have three heads and...I'm rambling again, I'm sorry, I talk a lot when I'm nervous...but also when I'm not nervous...to be honest i just talk a lot, 'm sorry"

Eddie definitely never met someone like her, she was the cutest thing he even seen.

He smiled, she was so different from the other girls in Hawkins, he wondered if they had anything in common "is okay really, i get it, i moved to Hawkins too, few years ago, so i know how you're feeling, I'mEddie by the way" he could see her eyes glowing at his words, her breath steadying "yeah being the new student sucks, but it seems i already made a friend, I'm y/n, nice to meet you Eddie" she smiled back at him, before focusing on Mr Ripley, ready to start his chemistry lesson.

Eddie didn't see her for the rest of the day after first period, so he couldn't wait to see her during lunch break, he hoped to spot her so he could invite her to his table

She didn't show up at the cafeteria, leaving him disappointed, wondering where she was.

He met her again for Mrs O'donnell class, during last period, she was sit alone writing on her notebook.

Eddie immediately sat besides her, he couldn't believe that they were together for this class.

"Hi, i didn't see you all day, you disappeared or something?" She jumped when she heard his voice "oh hiiii, I'm so happy to see you again, I was hoping we could share more classes together but i didn't see you in history and spanish, oh and then i got lost on my way to the cafeteria and ended up in the library so i ate there instead while i read my book" Eddie laughed, her excitement over literally everything made his heart flutter "sweetie i'm sorry you got lost and I'm sorry i couldn't help you, did you ask anyone for help?" Hearing this, her smile faded a little "i did actually, i met a small group and asked them where the cafeteria was, but the indications they gave me were for the library"

Eddie couldn't believe it, it was her first day, why were they this mean with her already? He can't wait to graduate and stop seeing these jocks faces again "oh sweetheart, those are idiots, gimme your schedule, i will walk you to every classes from now on"

Y/N tried to tell him it wasn't necessary but he didn't want to listen to it, he decided in that moment that he wanted to protect her, no matter what.

And Eddie kept his words, he would walk her to every class the next morning and for lunch he straightly led her to his table.

He couldn't wait to introduce her to the hellfire and maybe, if he was lucky, she would want to know more about DnD.

But his sweet, sweet Y/N surprised him once more: turned out that not only she knew DnD, but she used to play with her friends back in Chicago, she had a character of high class and level.

"I'm so excited that you guys play too, i was worried i had to stop playing but I'm so happy i found you, can i join the next session? If you're okay with that of course, i don't want to intrude, you know...if you're already far along on your campaign" everyone at the table started shouting "if we are okay? You must join us, our fair maid, is been a while since a cutie like you joined us and to be fair, I'm tired of always do the female voices" Gareth reassured Y/N and Eddie didn't like his flirty tone.

He knew he just wanted to make her feel comfortable, and he also knew that if he told him about his interest for y/n, Gareth would back off immediately, but Eddie still couldn't help but feel jealous at their small interaction.

He quickly noticed how she nice she was to everyone, so he wasn't surprised that she got along with the Hellfire club as soon as she sat down on their table.

"I really can't wait for you to join our sadistic campaign, but I'm afraid we might have to postpone this Friday, the drama club needs the room, so I will keep you posted on this guys, milady" Eddie informed his little sheep

"Oh well if you have an issue with that, we might do the session at my place, both my parents work the night shift so is just me and Pluto at home" Eddie grinned at her words "Aw sweetie, that's nice of you to offer you castle for our session, and Pluto? You named your dog after Mickey's dog?"

"Dog? Pluto isn't a dog, is my black cat, I named him after the Poe's short story, especially since my baby is also missing one eye, like in the story"

"That's sick baby, you have a one eyed cat? And I didn't think you liked Poe, I thought you were more of a Austen girl"

Y/N giggled, she was totally expecting this reaction "yes Austen is amazing but I love Poe's work a lot, I try to not stick to one genre only but to keep my books collection varied, currently I'm reading Salem's lot and The hobbit"

"The hobbit? Girl, please, you have to stop, or I'll fall for you more than I'm already doing"

Y/N blushed, she wasn't used to men flirting with her, and whenever it happened, she just got embarrassed and they gave up in the end, but Eddie seemed to be obsessed with her since they met and she couldn't help but wonder if he was actually interested or if he was having pity of the new girl.

Either way y/n couldn't believe she found new friends so early and that also played DnD, she was so excited.

Friday evening couldn't come sooner, y/m spent the afternoon baking brownies amd cookies, she wanted to make them feel comfortable and what's better than something sweet to fuel the brain?

Besides all these boys definitely were hungry.

Eddie's mouth watered at the sight, he doesn't remember the last time he ate something sweet that weren't candies or chocolate bars, and definitely didn't remember the last time he ate something homemade.

The session went incredibly well, they all had fun and y/n was a big addiction to Eddie's club, he felt truly happy after a long time.

He finally found a girl who wasn't afraid to be herself, and mostly, that seemed to like him a lot and wasn't afraid to show it.

He couldn't wait more, he needed to tell her that he liked her back, he needed to show her how much.

That's why he stayed after the session, he said he wanted to help her clean everything, when he actually wanted to be alone with her.

"So, how did you find everything? I hope you will join us for the next session" Eddie asked her while he was taking the plates away

"Oh, I thought I was part of the club already, of course I will join you for the next session, I had so much fun, you're an amazing dungeon master, Eddie the banished" and with that Eddie couldn't help himself anymore "do you want to go on a date with me? Tomorrow or whenever you want?" He blurted out, he planned to ask her in a smoother way but he genuinely couldn't wait anymore

Y/N blushed at the question, she thought he would never ask, and she answered with way too much eagerness "oh yes, I would love to, we could go to the drive in or the movies or the arcade, whatever you want really, I like everything and I know I will have fun because I love spending time with you, sorry I didn't mean love I meant like, yes I like..."

Eddie loved listening to her rambling, she was so cute when she was nervous like this, so he decided to put her out of her misery and simply do what he thought was the best way to calm her nerves: he leaned and gently pressed his lips on hers.

When they separate, y/n whispered "you kissed me" still in shock "yeah, sorry maybe I should've ask is you were okay with that or wait for our first date" Eddie replied

Hearing this, y/n chuckled and kissed him again, this time with more confidence, and in that moment, Eddie understood that she wasn't planning to go anywhere, and neither did he.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie mundon x ocreader #eddie munson fanfic #sapphiresandferrari

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localratwithcowboyhat · 3 months ago

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yes i am aware there is a typo, you don’t need to point it out :)

#herbert west #my art #art #fanart #artist on tumblr #sketchbook #sketchbook drawing #sketchbook page #Herbert west art #traditional art

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smileycarat · 1 year ago

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delulu thoughts: jeonghan ver

a/n: just me fangirling about jeonghan lolz, sorry for potential typos

whenever i see jeonghan, i automatically think he’s such a gentle kisser

don’t get me wrong, i do think he can have those more heated moments and such, and i would later love to explore that in another fic

but something about the thought of just lounging together on a sunday morning and him giving you the softest kisses throughout the day i aM SEVERELY UNWELL

just enjoying both of each other’s presence away from the public and the limelight that seems to follow him everyday

being in the comfort of your own home where he gets to let lose and relax without constantly being aware of what happens around him in public

having the opportunity to see how he’s like behind closed doors and to experience the way he cups your face with his sweater paws and kisses your brow-bone first, then your cheekbone, then your nose, and finally your lips with the most feather-like kisses there is

being able to wake up to him softly tracing the bridge of your nose and then softly your cheekbone as you wake

you being the first person he speaks to in the morning, his voice still rough from sleep, and you being the last person he speaks to before bed, his voice laced with sleepiness but still pushing through to make sure he wishes you goodnight even if you’re already asleep the moment your head hits the pillow

i think a lot of people would expect him to be slightly chaotic based of how he sometimes presents himself in gose or concerts and yes he can be chaotic, but he’s a gentle chaotic (idek if that makes sense???)

he will sometimes surprise you with the most odd things out of nowhere, like that one time you had a little bit of frosting on your nose from biting into a cupcake

mans is giggling at your appearance and you’re confused because you don’t know what has set him off this time and you’re just looking at him like ???

and he just jokingly rolls his eyes, makes a tsk noise while shaking his head but reaches out to hold your jaw to stop you from moving

then he proceeds to just lick off the frosting off your nose

“what? i couldn’t just leave you like this without telling you” he says after your wide eyed expression

“you could have used a napkin like a normal person!”

he giggles at the way you roll your eyes and pulls you back by the crook of your elbow as you start to move away

“look, we’re even now” he says after he smears frosting on his lips

you both could just be relaxing on the couch laying down and on opposite ends, but he always has either a leg or an arm extended to have contact with you

is completely the type to pull your legs up to his lap to rub at your ankle

or be the type to use his slender hands to knead at the knots between your shoulder blades

i could see him liking to lay down on top of you during a nap and kissing you right under your ear all the way down to your collarbone

this isn’t even in an explicit manner, he just likes to do it for the sake of doing it (also loves the giggle he gets out of you if you’re feeling ticklish)

i could see him as liking to be the one to stay in on his days off and just lounging in matching sweats with you

but also willing and always ready to take a quick trip down to the convenience store with you past midnight in your matching sweats and slippers to grab a snack

absolutely WILL hold your hand all the way to and from the convenience store even though it’s just a few minutes walk

beware, he does not like when you get separated by a street lamp and will pull you to his side so you don’t have to unlink your hands

just a few delulu thoughts about jeonghan <3

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shegatsby · 5 months ago

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Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/n; Hi my little doves, sorry i kept you waiting because i had my uncle and his family over from Germany and we spent quality time and also im working and my work is crazy lately but here i am. Love you all xx (sorry for any typos)

TAG LIST IS OPEN! (let me know if i forgot to tag you)

Warnings; Fighting! SMUT in next chapter!

Words; 3.529K

Chapter Eight ‘’Newly Weds''

She had to admit the food was delicious, she was aware that the meat dishes were exactly the way she prefered it, but she had no appetite, the grand hall was packed, houses all around the galaxy came to her wedding, including her sister-in-law and best friend Irulan, their tables were close so she saw Irulan smiled at her warmly, maybe she was encouraging her or feeling pity, Y/N couldn’t read her face from afar. Various guests brought presents such as; ancient scripts, carpets made of spice, valuable stones to make jewelry.. after a while she lost count.

When it was time to dance Feyd-Rautha bolted to his feet with a stoic expression and extended his hand to his new bride, ‘’May I have this dance?’’ it wasn’t a question he was basically demanding and it was custom for bride and groom to start the dance, the entire galaxy knew it. ‘’Yes, my Lord.’’ She replied and held his warm hand, his fingers grasped her delicate hand, he led her to the obsidian dance floor, when he held her waist she felt a sudden rush to her chest like her blood just gathered there.

‘’Try to smile, everyone is watching us.’’ He said quietly, obviously caring for his reputation and his wife’s. She looked into his eyes first, he was an excellent dancer and she was in awe every time, his blue orbits made her feel like they were the only two people in the grand hall, she felt at ease and automatically the corners of her lips lifted up into a gentle smile, a smile that pleased Feyd deeply but he kept his composure.

Soon other couples joined them, she followed Feyd’s eyes to a couple dancing close to them and she turned to see the couple, Pyramus and his fiancé were dancing…

Y/N’s eyes couldn’t believe what she was witnessing, ‘’Aww, are you hurt little dove?’’ she turned to Feyd, his tone was mocking but his eyes held something else, she could see a storm brewing in those ocean eyes, ‘’He doesn’t interest me anymore.’’ She was telling the truth but in Feyd’s dark mind she was a liar. Feyd didn’t respond and kept guiding the dance however he could feel raw rage building in him. His mind which was led by his uncle for so long was doubting his wife’s reply;

‘’She is lying, isn’t she?’’

‘’One cannot forget someone they once held dear..’’

‘’Were they ever intimate with each other?’’

His twisted mind kept twirling into those dark thoughts but his perfectly chiseled face showed no evidence of it.

Y/N’s eyes watched the guests retrieve to their guest chambers one by one, it was almost dawn and she was tired, her feet were killing her but Feyd stood still like a champion, she wondered if he was tired as well but his composure promised otherwise, Y/N found herself admiring her husband for being strong and when she caught herself doing it she shook her weary head in disbelief.

‘’Congratulations again dear nephew.’’ Baron Vladimir approached in his elevated carriage, towering above them, ‘’Thank you uncle.’’ Feyd’s response was short, Y/N bowed to show respect, Reverend Mother was next to Baron in her black clothing, covered head to toe, ‘’I shall pray for the old gods and the new for your marriage to succeed.’’ She said her eyes only focused on Y/N, she understood Reverend Mother’s true intentions, after all Y/N was one of them and she was trained to read between the lines, Reverend Mother was basically saying that ‘’I’ll pray for you to survive and keep Harkonnens connected to the Bene Gesserit by blood’’ one way or another she had to produce heirs but her plan was to avoid it as much as she could. ‘’Thank you Reverend Mother.’’ She bowed to her as well.

The way to Feyd’s chambers were covered with white roses, it was a custom of the Harkonnes, when the celebration of marriage ends the bride and groom walk back to the groom’s chambers hand in hand among white flowers to consummate the marriage.

Y/N’s heart was beating at full speed, his hand was like a cage to her hand, the hall was so silent that she could her heart beat in her ears, she knew the way to his chambers since she had been occupying it for days. She turned to get a glance of Feyd, her husband… his stoic face made her even more uneasy, she never liked not knowing or not predicting someone’s actions.

When they reached to the black door Feyd let go of her hand to open the door, he walked in and extended his hand, she took his hand again and walked in and her skin froze when she heard the door close.

‘’Do I have to kill him for you to stop loving him?’’ was Feyd’s first words to Y/N since the dance, she knew something was wrong with him.

‘’Pardon me?’’ she turned to face him, they were in the bedroom section, the entire chambers living room, bathroom and bedroom were spotless and decorated with white roses, it smelled nice.

Staring down at her, Feyd’s eyes were dark and intense as he asked the question that had been weighing on his twisted mind since the celebrations, ‘’Do you still love him even after he sold you off for spice?’’ his voice laced with a hint of jealousy and possessiveness. His gaze remained on her, not entirely convinced by her words earlier when she said that Pyramus didn’t interest her anymore, ‘’Then why does he still have an effect on you?!’’ he asked, his tone tinged with skepticism.

She couldn’t believe that she was being accused of this, ‘’Why would a man who sold me for spice could have an effect on me?!’’

Feyd smirked as her anger flared, relishing the fact that he had gotten under her skin. ‘’it’s a simple question little dove,’’ he said coolly, his lips slightly curled in a smug smile. The mention of her ex’s betrayal ignited a fire within him, fueling his own possessive instinct. ‘’Then why was he eyeing you so intently during our wedding?’’

His questioning made her roll her eyes, was he out of his mind? Well, it was Feyd so anything could be possible. ‘’You should ask him that my Lord!’’

Feyd’s irritation grew at her eye roll and insolent response. He couldn’t help but tighten his jaw in annoyance. ‘’I am asking you little dove.’’ He said firmly, he took a step closer, towering over her in an attempt to assert his dominance. ‘’Explain why he was staring at you like that.’’

Y/N was puzzled, how could she know? She didn’t move away from him, Feyd’s patience was wearing thin. He grabbed her chin forcefully, his grip not quite painful, but firm enough to make his intentions clear. ‘’Why can’t you just give me a straightforward answer? Do you enjoy testing my limits?’’ he growled, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face, searching for any hint of deception.

Y/N didn’t back away from his grip even though it was a bit painful, ‘’As I have said, I do not know anything about him anymore, I left him in my past and I shall not bring him to my present and my future.’’ She replied calmly but she could feel the tears forming at the corner of her pretty eyes, Feyd’s grip on her chin remained firm as he leaned in closer, his gaze unwavering as he continued to question her, ‘’Why should I believe you?’’ he asked, his tone sharp, ‘’You say you’ve left him in the past, but your actions contradict your words. I don’t buy it.’’

He was being unbelievably stubborn, was he threatened by Pyramus?

‘’I was on your side the entire time.’’ She protested, his fingers were digging in her jaw, he noticed the tears forming but remained unyielding, he took a step closer again, his body now mere inches away from her, his breath warm against her lips as he continued to probe, ‘’That might be true,’’ he admitted begrudgingly, ‘’but that doesn’t change the fact that I can sense the lingering connection between you two. Don’t try to deny it. I’m no blind.’’

Maybe he still had feelings for her but she had none left, ‘’I do not know how I can convince you but I don’t love him.’’

Feyd’s hand dropped to his side, she was free from his grasp, he didn’t say anything, didn’t have to because she could see that he was still questioning her with his eyes. He pulled out a pocket knife and moved to the bed, Y/N was watching his every move. He cut his palm and smeared the blood on the side she usually slept, before she could ask he spoke with a cold tone; ‘’In few hours maids will come to take our sheets to my uncle to show him that we have consummated our marriage.’’ He took of his clothes and threw them around, he wasn’t even looking at her side of the room. He was only in his undergarments and he got under the covers, ‘’You should scatter your clothes around the room and get some sleep.’’ His back was turned to her, Y/N did what she was told and with her lacy white undergarments she got under the covers and turned her back to him. Sleep came quicker than usual.

Feyd-Rautha was a lot of things but not a liar, after getting some sleep maids have entered their bedchambers to wake them up for the new day ahead and also to ‘’change the bed sheets’’ when they saw the blood Y/N noticed the small smiles they shared among themselves, her Bene Gesserit training told her that the servants were happy to have her as their new lady. Na-Baroness Y/N Harkonnen.

Breakfast was ready for them but Feyd ignored her and left their quarters to his study room to get some work done, he was a busy man and the house Harkonnen’s future depended on him.

While she was having her breakfast she announced; ‘’I would like to visit Giedi Prime’s orphanage.’’ Her request was an odd one, maids around the room couldn’t comprehend her request, ‘’Now that I am the Na-Baroness I represent my husband. I do not wish to busy his already occupied mind about charity work and other social details. I want to see the conditions of the orphanage and offer my help. Don’t let the workers there know that I shall visit.’’ As an Atreides born and raised ladies of her house tended to more social problems and handled them with perfection. Even though she didn’t wish to marry into Harkonnens now she had duties to fulfill, Reverend Mother’s words hanged in her weary mind, the old lady was right in a sense. Y/N had to survive no matter what and her plan was to gain the public’s affection. Show them what kind of a woman she was and how useful and helpful she could be.

Little spies of Feyd-Rautha whispered into his ear that Na-Baroness wished to visit the orphanage today, she ordered her maids to prepare bags filled with clothes, medicine, toys. Feyd found himself smiling when his spies left. He changed his plans for today and decided to join his wife.

Y/N was waiting for the ship to arrive and take her and her servants to the orphanage when she noticed her servants bowing to someone, it was a hot day and the black sun of Giedi Prime made everything look too shiny white and dark black. Her dress was simple, she wanted to give a nice impression and as her first day being Na-Baroness she had to be careful. A soft wind made the silk grey dress clung to her thighs, it was a modest one, she turned on the open field to see who was coming and saw him in all black head to toe.

‘’You thought I would let you leave the fortress on your own Na-Baroness?’’ his raspy voice was sarcastic yet held a truth to it, it was too dangerous outside for the royals to roam. ‘’As I have proven before I can hold my own but-‘’ she watched him stand next to her, his hands clasped on his lower stomach, he leaned in to hear her clearly and it made her aware once again about the height difference.

‘’I do appreciate it.’’ She finished looking up at him, he did something which surprised Y/N, he kissed her temple with his soft lips, placed his hand on the small of her back, his gesture made the servants stand there in disbelief, they have never witnessed their Na-Baron being gentle with someone, especially a woman…. Y/N noticed the glances the servants shared among each other but paid no mind. She let them whisper, if it meant that she could win the public by simple and soft gestures shared between her and her husband then she was happy to oblige. When the ship arrived Feyd held her hand and guided her inside.

The trip to the orphanage was calm, Y/N and Feyd shared a small room together, she was sitting by the small window, ‘’So,’’ she began watching the scenery before her eyes, nothing but buildings, roads and factories, at a distance she could see a forest but it was far. ‘’There is nothing wrong when you don’t dine with me but if I refuse…’’ she mentioned earlier today when he left without a word. Feyd was getting a drink, he froze with her questioning, didn’t except her to say something about it.

‘’I thought you don’t like my company, matter of fact,’’ he turned to her with a glass of wine in his palm, ‘’you said it yourself before.’’ He was teasing.

Her hands resting on her lap, she started to play with her fingers with uneasiness, ‘’I may have said something like that before.’’ She tried to hide her smirk but he saw.

‘’My Na-Baron, we have arrived.’’ A guard announced and Y/N took deep breaths before they left the ship together.

The sun again blocked her vision for few seconds when the doors of the ship opened, she forced her eyes to stay open and get used to it. She felt his hand wrapping around her hand and together they got off the ship.

The orphanage was gigantic and white, pure white, the floors were marble with grey veins. When she looked around and found not a single tree or a bush, she thought that had to be changed.

‘’Na-Baron,’’ a man approached them like his life was at stake, he was a tall old man with a long beard and bald head, ‘’And Na-Baroness, congratulations. We pray for this union to bring prosperity and power to us.’’ He bowed, ‘’Thank you Ser.’’ Feyd-Rautha spoke with his formal manner, it was amazing to see him shift that quickly. ‘’If we had known that you were visiting we would have been ready for you.’’ He seemed embarrassed, ‘’Please,’’ she spoke with a soft tone, ‘’Do not fret. I am here to see the conditions of the children who live here and we have brought clothes, medicine and toys for them. May we see inside?’’

The old man was startled by her soft spoken nature, ‘’Of course my Na-Baroness.’’ He bowed again and led them inside.

The walls were grey marble, there was no vibrant colors for children to see and it broke her heart. In a way Y/N was an orphan, being apart from her actual parents and staying somewhere that wasn’t home… Feyd noticed the sudden shift in his wife, her hand went to her chest in a troubled manner, ‘’Are you feeling unwell.. wife?’’ just like her Feyd was also getting used to being married and having a wife. Y/N turned to smile kindly, ‘’I am fine Na-Baron, thank you.’’ She replied shortly, Feyd didn’t pressured her to explain but he made a mental note to observe her closely. Y/N noticed the looks she got from children around her, they watched her walk gracefully in awe, everyone knew the yesterday’s grand wedding and ever citizen wanted to see the Na-Baroness up close. She smiled and bowed her head slightly to the children and watched them blush and avert their afraid gaze to somewhere and look back at her again. As a Bene Gesserit her mission was to make the citizens of Giedi Prime follow the Sisterhood’s prophecies and laws but as Y/N her mission was to win their favor and show them kindness.

Together they looked at the children’s bedrooms, toilet chambers and common rooms for hang out and eating. The building was old thus the furniture and plumbing system as well. Y/N, clearly was aware that everyone was watching her, held her husband’s arm in a loving manner and spoke ‘’My dear, we should renovate this institute in our name so that children here can have the newest technology and luxuries to succeed.’’ Her plan was to move the Baron and Rabban aside and make her name and Feyd’s name more popular among the people. ‘’Such an excellent idea dear.’’ He agreed, it made her eyes shine in hope which he noticed and felt a strange sensation at his chest, the symptom was heart attack but it was impossible. Then what was it? He didn’t linger on it.

Y/N personally gave the children boxes of toys, she talked to them, listened to their dreams and Feyd found himself watching her while he was talking to the workers. His eyes were on her, she was such a natural at being kind and nurturing that he was in awe of it, all his life he was shown nothing but brutality, fight, and blood. Women in his life before were trained to be an accessory in his life style, however Y/N was the opposite and she never tried to fit in, it seemed like she had a mission and she was following it like the paper ship on a lake, flowing in the water’s direction swiftly.

It was getting dark when their work was done, they said their goodbyes and got on the ship to return to the fortress. Not knowing what was waiting for them.

The ride to the fortress was calm one, they sat in comfortable silence, she could feel his eyes every once in a while, thanks to her trainings she could sense if someone was watching her. The question she was pondering on since last night came to her again ‘’Why didn’t he sleep with me last night?’’ It was their wedding night and ever since she was brought here he seemed eager to have her and when it came to it he stayed distant, his action last night left her in disbelief. He literally cut his palm and rubbed the blood on their sheets to trick the Baron and the rest of Giedi Prime but why?

‘’Last night,’’ she found herself speak, Feyd was sitting next to her and she caught his attention, ‘’Yes?’’ his raspy voice brought her to reality, she changed her mind. ‘’Never mind.’’

As soon as they landed a servant came to collect them, said it was urgent and the Baron requested their presence. She followed Feyd, he was holding her hand, guiding her.

Baron was waiting for them at the strategy room, every house had a room like this one to have meetings for war, spice etc. Baron, as always was in his floating device, ‘’Greetings young couple.’’ His voice didn’t match his words, ‘’Hello uncle.’’ He let go of her hand, didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. She watched Baron witnessed it and smile with victory, she was good at reading expressions.

‘’There is trouble in Arrakis, Rabban is messing up the whole spice production,’’ Baron began, ‘’you have to take his place and deal with Fremen rebels.’’ He was newlywed and Baron didn’t even hesitate to give him an onerous mission ‘’Me and my wife shall get ready in an hour and-‘’ his speech was cut off, ‘’This matter only concerns you Feyd. Na-Baroness shall stay here and wait for your return. You have consummated the marriage, I’m sure when you come back you will hold your first born.’’

Y/N froze in her state. She was going to be here all alone, Feyd was refusing to look at her because if he did he would slice his uncle’s throat.

The walk back to their chambers was slow and quiet, their fingers brushed and left stingy sensation, when Feyd closed the door behind him the realization hit Y/N. According to Baron, Feyd was suppose to be gone for 9 months maybe more.. she turned to him and his expression broke her heart. He looked like that little boy she met years ago, alone and afraid. ‘’I don’t want to leave you.’’ He confessed which made her throat clench itself in agony, he looked away for a moment, contemplating something in his mind and he cursed under his breath and closed the distance between them, their lips met in passion.

Tag list; @superchatnoir07 @mamawiggers1980 @landlockedmermaid77 @moonsoulk @crystalskiesandcherrywine @palomavz @beebeechaos @jeong-uwu @tian-monique @avidreader73 @aleemendoza2425-blog @taleah @oneandonlybbygrl @flower-frog @or-was-it-just-a-dream @howibecameabadassbitch @monstreshhorn @keanuispunk @lunerose0 @purplepeach333 @torossosebs @austinbutlerslovers @athanasialove @darlingisntit @aoi-targaryen @alexa4040 @wo-ming-bai @affabletimelady @mydearbabydoll

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angelwowings · 1 year ago

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I’m making a post about Tourette’s for people that write for toby first things first. A common mistake that I have already pointed out but still see people making twitches are not tics twitches a caused from stress and poor diet etc while tics are not. Also as a person who had struggled with both they feel completely different I can feel tics coming up and twitches go almost unnoticed. And about the swearing part only about 10% of people with Tourette’s having swearing tics. So depending on how hard you write for Toby’s Tourette’s please keep that in mind. I am aware that his creator has confirmed he had ‘severe’ Tourette’s but that was clearly not shown in his story or any kind of other imagine we got from him so…..and please when you write about him and he has a tic attack don’t make y/n or whatever character hold him during it. yes it can calm one down but same goes for the seizure rules tics cannot be prevented by holding the body.

oh and some other facts: tics can trigger tics it’s pretty common me and my best friend both have tics and both get triggered of each other and also things like small noises can trigger tics. Most people can also feeling tics as a sort of tingling feeling creeping up the back of your neck (that’s the best description I have heard someone describe it) most tics also get triggered from sudden temperature changes

those last few sentences are from mine and my friend’s experiences :) I thought it’d put it in there too since it’s common but everyone is different with their tics

btw before anything no I do not have Tourette’s although I do have a tic disorder (also different things but won’t get into that)

Thanks for reading! Please spread this so people won’t make mistakes

(also this is not proof read and I’m dyslexic so if any typos don’t be surprised)

#creepy pasta #crp #creepypasta fandom #tobias erin rogers #ticci toby headcanons #proxy #creepypasta headcanons #ticci toby #toby rogers #actually tourettic #tourettes #ticci toby creepypasta #creepypasta ticci toby #slenderverse #motor tics #tics and tourettes #tic disorder #toby rogers fanart

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itskindofidontknow · 6 months ago

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What dreams know about love?

Chapter 10

Dream of The Endless/Morpheus x Love!OFC

Summary: The Queen of Love has grown used to the absence of her husband, the Dream King. After banning her from the Dreaming, they only saw each other when Morpheus summoned her for social or marital duties. He would go decades without calling for her, enamorated by a variety of mistresses. It broke Love's heart. Not that her husband cared. However, after being imprisioned for a century, The Dream King wants to regain his Queen's love. She doesn't believe him, not after centuries of neglect. The question is: Can dreams repair a broken heart?

Tag: Established relationship, arranged marriage, regency romance, eventual happy ending, angst, morpheus is a dick prepare to hate, love is eoster from west germanic mythology, typos are to be expected

TW: mentions of suicide

”My Lady!” Elijah grabbed Eoster by her arm after she stumbled upon her own feet. “I am fine! I am fine!” The Queen raised both arms, so the Cupid could get away from her. I took her a few seconds so her head could stop spinning around. Elijah looked to both sides of the empty marbled hallway, and anxiously took a glance of the hours at the main clock. They were lucky Morpheus didn't show up to pick her up and go to Lord Destiny’s realm.

The Cupid has been cold sweating since he woke the queen from her bath. She passed out drunk, noticeable thanks to the five bottles on the floor that he almost stepped on. They were small, like syrup bottles, and earlier, were probably full of wine. Eoster kept the drawers on her vanity and under the bed, full of them. Easier to hide from her husband that kept nagging her about her alcohol consumption and from Lucienne, that would definitely snitch on her. She knew the librarian meant well, but the librarian also didn’t fully know the pains the Queen had to soothe.

In one of her hands dangled another small glass bottle very similar to the other ones, but that was half-filled with a white milky liquid. Night blooming jasmine’s milk. ‘Great’ Elijah ironically thought to himself. She woke up in a jump, as the bottle slipped from her hands. Not that it helped, since she was completely dizzy, partially awake but not able to hold herself. The cupid had to carry her out of the bathtub and dress her like a doll. It took more than usual, after all, Eoster kept snoozing and falling to the sides of her chair. By this hour, Elijah was already sweating. He was perfectly aware that those Endless reunions were a stressful event to the king, and if he was stressed, he was in a bad mood. And if he was in a bad mood, everyone, especially his wife, suffered from it. And she would soothe her suffering on wine, and now, night blooming jasmine.

The whole situation with Lord Destruction didn’t help. There were rumors about the Harvest. He didn’t hear nor ask Lady Eoster, but he overheard the dreamaids gossiping about it. Apparently the Dream King saw something that no one could yet tell, between his wife and his brother, that made him indescribably jealous, and they had a fallout after the party. Of course, Elijah cut those rumors as fast as he could. He wouldn’t have those nosy maids spread rumors about his queen’s faithfulness in marriage. The cupid obviously didn’t believe that anything could have happened.

If his lady was having a sordid affair with her brother-in-law, she would’ve asked for his help in covering it and she would probably be happier and giggling.

Like mortals do when they are trapped in unhappy marriages and live forbidden affairs.

A knock on the door came just as he was trying to put her hair in place. His queen was mumbling a thousand subjects at once, none of which made sense. He responded with robotic ‘uh-uhs’ and ‘yes, of course’ and ‘no, of course’. Elijah waited a second before opening a small crack of the door, taking a deep breath and fixing his face, to not look like he was freaking out. “Yes?” He spied over the small opening, not wanting anyone to see his queen.

”Is our lady ready yet?” Lucienne frowned and tried to stepped inside, hoping Elijah would open the door, but the cupid didn’t move. “ Almost.-“He pretended he didn’t see that she was bothered by the small window she had to talk to. He rolled his eyes in annoyance “These things take time, Lucienne. It’s not just a black robe and black shoes. I am certain you can understand...”The cupid said as a toll to the king and looked the librarian up and down “In some capacity.” He smirked as the librarian shifted the weight of her feet, feeling a bit self-conscious about something she didn’t actually care about.

That was something she hated about the Cupid: He’d always make her feel self-aware about things she didn’t care about or wasn't at all important. Clothes, social agendas, complicated protocols and confusing etiquettes and hierarchies from the Garden. Some, she never got the answer for: Why did Lady Eoster needed more than five maids? Why did she need maids at all? And why did she need a room just for her attires? Why did she had protégées, entities from other realms, living in her own realm? And Elijah was not very helpful in making her understand any of this.

”She is not…is she?” Lucienne whispered, the Queen's likeness for wine or any beverage was becoming a small inconvenience to Dream, which meant it was a huge trouble for Lucienne and the palace staff. It was becoming more frequent to find the Queen passed out in the palace. Usually the library. But Lucienne and Mervyn caught her previously asleep in her private garden, during her daily baths, at the dinner table, after waiting awake for Morpheus, at her bedroom, half her body on the bed half on the floor. Usually a small bottle hanging loose from her fingers. Lucienne had no idea where she was getting them, and Elijah always played dumb. She knew he might think he was helping, but if he saw how Lord Morpheus got when he noticed she was drunk. He wouldn’t encourage her to keep drinking.

Elijah sembled darkened. He absolutely did not accept any dream creature, not even a right-hand librarian like Lucienne, to talk about his queen and her bad habits, that, as a matter of fact, her king was responsible for. She wouldn’t have to drink this much if he didn’t make her life a nightmare. The cupid knew the dreamfolk didn’t have the same etiquette as the lovefolk, but he didn’t care, it was unacceptable to question it. It was fine for him to inform them about her state. Not otherwise.

She tried to take a look over Elijah’s shoulder. Even though he knew she couldn’t see much, he moved, trying to cover any glance those librarian’s glasses could have. “The Queen is perfectly fine. Why don’t you go see if the King is throwing a tantrum on the other side of the palace? He may need you to dust off the rest of some nightmare he sent to the darkness.” He sarcastically smirked, before closing the door in her face, not waiting for the moral lesson about his audacity in speaking like that about his king.

Well, she was the one who started. Asking intrusive impolite questions that happened to be true.

With Eoster ready, dressed in her long sheer white dress, with a see through cape brocaded in a pattern of constellations, and a high updo, locking all her curls in a tight hairstyle with a delicate silver tiara, the fluster in her cheeks could pass by rouge, Elijah hoped. What couldn’t be hidden was her uneven walk, tripping on her feet, stumbling on the walls. Before they left the room, Elijah gave her a morning jasmine tea. The tea was supposed to alleviate the drunkness, but its effects could not take longer to come.

”Lady Love, there you are!” The cupid froze in place, as he heard the fast-pace walk of Lucienne, turning over his shoulder getting a glimpse of the librarian with the king walking behind her. Elijah looked at his queen, desperately trying to fix her hair and her clothes. Love was a drunk but she was a very dignified drunk. She snapped his hands away.”Elijah. I am fine.” She said, looking a bit more sober than before. Fixing her posture and enterwinding her fingers against her dress, as her husband approach. “He can’t tell the difference anyway.” She whispered with melancholy, passing through the cupid, going from his arms, to Morpheus, who barely batted an eye at her.

Elijah however felt a sting in his heart. What a bittersweet life must be to be with someone that doesn’t know you at all, to the extent, they can’t even tell if you are sober or beyond drunk. The Cupid could take one quick look at his Queen and know if she was sober, drunk, contempt, or sad. Of course he wouldn't expect her husband to be so observant after all, Eoster and her Cupid share a bond beyond any true marriage. The king also seemed to want as little as possible to know his wife. Not getting to know her, her realm.

Both Elijah and Lucienne stayed behind, with their hands behind their backs, as two parents seeing their children leave for school, as the couple went their way and disappeared in Morpheus’ sand.

”For your information, he wasn’t throwing a tantrum.”The Librarian said it proudly, without looking at him. Elijah rolled his eyes, sighing, with a swirl he turned his heels looking over his shoulder and down at the woman who was a good few inches shorter than him “For your information, she is drunk.”

——————— Eoster was a wreck. She looked very curated but she felt awful inside. Those night blooming jasmines mixed with wine made her sleep dreamless, but also impossible to rest. Her mind was tired and her body exhausted. Pretending not to be, was even worse. She stumbled for the third time during their silent walk through Lord Destiny’s garden, each time Morpheus had his grip on her, but each time, she seemed closer to knocking her face on the ground. He wasn’t going to say anything for Dream knew how reactive she got when she was drunk. Oh, yes. Different from what Elijah and Love assumed, he could perfectly tell when she was out of herself: The numbness and distraction in her eyes, the way her walk was light and unbalanced.

That didn’t bother Morpheus at all, Love could drink all the winery if she pleased. That is if the alcohol didn’t also free her suffocated regrets and repressed emotions, and made her desperate to share her own personal drama with everyone around her.

It didn’t happen when she was tipsy, like she was in most reunions. But especially today, she was far beyond tipsy. Morpheus cursed himself and her damn cupid. He should have obliged the pair to have Lucienne overseeing her preparations.

”If I may, my lady, you might want to have a light evening.” Morpheus stoically said, his eyes upfront. He wanted her to think this was a suggestion of a husband taking care of his wife's health. But Love scoffed, interpreting this as it was: An order to not drink. Well she had enough of her husband’s little orders. She was not Lucienne. “Yes, husband. I do need a light evening.” She sighed covering her mouth in a fake yawn. “I have not been sleeping well, maybe you can even help me, husband. You see, ever since the Second Harvest I’ve been waking in the middle of night panting and flushed, aching inside, my nightgown completely soaked, and I can’t remember what I was dreaming.” She could feel his stiffness under her touch. She knew it bothered him because he hadn’t been able to sniff around her dreams. “ But worry not, one thing I am certain is: It has nothing to do with you….” She signed, pretending to be bored “Maybe something with your brother.” Love knew she was poking a delicate topic at the wrong moment, all the fake hints of lately having wet dreams.

Little did he know she was not dreaming at all.

If Love’s sober self tried her best to not step on her husband’s toes, to not get in his bad mood, her drunk self made it her personal mission to antagonize him at every single opportunity she could. Completely ignoring the signs to be quiet and remember her place, rolling her eyes, like a petulant spoiled child, saying the first provocation that would pop into her mouth.

He angrily dropped her arm, and in a sudden movement, putting her against a wall, towering over Love, and holding her by the pulses along her body, as she stumbled back, hitting the wall beside her, her chest going up and down, struggling to free from his grip, not liking to feel trapped by her husband. He was too close, it sent goosebumps over her spine. He stared deeply into her eyes, sternly looking at her dilated green iris. “Your drinking is not of my business, but do not embarrass me tonight.” Love swallowed hard, a glimpse of sobriety into her eyes, as she failed to push her arm away from him again “Save your orders for you mistress! And you are perfectly capable of embarrassing yourself.” She spitefully said.

Morpheus never laid a hand on her, he might be emotionally abusive but never physical. He was a gentleman, to a certain extent. But even with this in mind, she couldn’t help but feel frightened. He was already angry with her, before today, and she was only fueling it. It took everything in her to stare back at him in defiance, her inebriated state giving her the courage to. “Oh brother, can’t you keep your hands off your wife for one night? What Destiny would say?” That sweet stick voice made the couple turn to the sibling.

Desire was meaningly teasing, very aware that Dream and Love were not in the middle of a romance. The couple was used to it, but it didn’t mean that they liked it. It was among their favorite activities to make fun of the misery of the couple.

”Desire.” Dream acknowledged his sibling, not moving away from his wife, Love slightly lowered her head in respect. “Look at you, Love Dove, all flushed.” Desire gave her a cheshire grin, which she ignored, turning her eyes to the floor, feeling her cheeks grow red, as she finally took advantage of her husband’s distraction and twisted both arms away from him. “Excuse me.” the brunette said it, eyes on the ground, stumbling her way to Lord Destiny’s palace entrance, wishing she could disappear back to her home, to never have to see Dream, Desire or any sibling-in-law ever again. To never had to deal with any of these overwhelming family dynamics, in which she seemed to be a puppet in strings.

“Love Dove giving you trouble? What could possibly have happened, big brother, that an obedient submissive little lady like Love would get so rebellious? How could you fuck up a perfectly good wifey like that?” Dream gave them a cold look, not giving them the pleasure of an answer. But Desire knew exactly how to get Dream’s attention. They were very aware of those delicious rumors from the Second Harvest. How the Dream King gave a very explicit display of affection to his wife, very unusual behavior. Especially after she was seeing dancing all night with his younger brother. Entities talk, and Desire is very good at listening.

Knowing Eoster, she was most likely to be completely unaware of it, while Dream probably would be hyper aware of it, biting himself by now. And since the first rumors started to arrive in their ears, Desire was planning a little something to them, alongside Despair. Desire knew how Dream could be possessive of his toys. Even dolls he didn’t want to play, like Love, were still his, not up for sharing. Unfortunately for Desire, Love was as faithful as a nun. Dream never had his reasons to doubt it. Not until now. And Desire would use those flimsy rumors to stir some fun at the boring family gathering.

” Stoicness doesn’t exactly make a lady weak in her knees does it? Did it ever occur to you, dear brother, that her sudden defiance might have come from finding someone else?” Dream rolled his eyes, ignoring them, walking to his brother’s palace entrance, after his wife disappeared upfront, but still listening. “ Maybe someone passionate, fiercely devoted…” Desire followed him, annoyingly continuing the subject “Prodigal…” Dream stopped. Desire smiled viciously. ‘Got him’.

”What?-“They asked innocently “You didn’t think she was going to tell you, did you?” They looked at the raven haired brother with a fake pity look, clicking their tongue on their mouth ceiling “Eoster is queen of love, not faithfulness. That is her cousin or sister, I think.” The endless started to walk slowly in circles around Morpheus, dragging their voice “Dear Eoster got a lot of suffocated love to give. Always needy and underappreciated….”

The golden eyed sibling sighed as it was obvious as the dawn in the mornings “You should know, brother. Don't unhappy mortal wives dream too?” Desire painted a very vivid image for Dream. The same he had been trying to erase since the Second Harvest. “Fantasizing about a strong, warm, broad knight in shining armor who will rescue them from their stoic cold uncaring husbands. It takes so little for their frustrated hearts to feel loved. They desire so little. It’s laughable, really.” That was one of the only things Desire didn’t distort.

It did take little to warm Love’s heart, and her desires were incredibly cliche and boring. The sibling was twisting the narrative, of course, distorting the truth, making it a bit more exciting. In reality Love’s desires were absolutely uninspiring. “If you even knew the sins darling Love dreams of. Blushing stuff, really. Never had any curiosity, brother? How she likes to be touched, kissed, what she likes to hear…”

Some would think that after years of an unhappy marriage, she would have fantasies about other gentlemen. But no. Even her wildest deviations were about the Dream King. Well, a version of him at least. Infatuated by her body and soul. Dull sweet love making in the glades of lavender gardens, unimaginative pleasing each other in the waters of milk rose lakes, boring reimaginations of her wedding night, lots of clichéd romantic gestures, embraces, impregnations, praises and cuddlings. Boring. Vanilla. Domestic.

The wildest ( and by that, Desire meant ‘less boring’) fantasy Love had was about her husband making her orgasm with his tongue while she laid in his throne. Something Desire was sure didn’t happen in reality, since Love was as frustrated and tense as any woman who couldn’t tell what an orgasm was by her life “Love Dove found herself a shoulder to cry, a chest to hug, lips to kiss, a member to plea-“The blonde sibling, now only steps away from his quiet infuriated brother, was quickly grabbed by their neck. “Hold your tongue, sibling. That is my queen you are talking about.” Desire smirked, even under a close threat. Dream may not fully believe in them, but it certainly put him in the right mood for the dinner “Is that what you were trying to remember her?” The raven haired king dropped them and stared at Desire, trying to find any hesitation that might say it was just a jest. But Dream could only find amusement.

Love passed through the dark metal doors with her breath hiking, she felt lightheaded, the voices seemed far and undistinguished. She needed a drink. That was the only certainty she had. Something to steady her mind, to fixate on something. She found a golden goblet of whatever her brother-in-law was serving, a dark liquid, that burned her throat as she took a sip. Stronger than Garden wine or night blooming jasmine . Love ignored the salutation protocol, finding the nearest seat and sinking into it. She held an upright posture, as if relaxing would leave her open to collapse.

Tears dared to inflict her eyes, hands trembling, she dug her fingernails into her skin, tearing at her cubicles. She'd not even noticed the pain of them. She barely even notices anything as she takes another considerable sip, closing her eyes to savor it. Letting the burn on her throat consume all of her attention. She would be at eternal damnation if her siblings-in-law could read her thoughts. How did she end up here? Miserable? Why affront Morpheus? Just for the attention? Just to have his eyes on her for a second? Even if it was a hateful stare? How could she even call herself Lady of the Four Loves, teach about the ways of the heart, if her own love life was a depressed sorrowful mess?

And Desire. Is it such good fun seeing a broken bird getting crushed every time? They never even owned up to being the one who plotted to marry Dream and Love. Even when Morpheus questioned them. Always with witty remarks and indications of Eoster’s involvement. Making sure she stayed in the punishment of marriage. The more Love tried to win Dream’s affection, to convince him of a different narrative than Desire’s, the more he slipped away.

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun” The incomparable dragged voice of Lady Despair, made Love look from her fingers to her husband's sister.”It is still my favorite, much better than Midsummer Night's.” Love gave her a weak smile “Just don’t tell my lord husband, he still holds grudges over it” Despair knew. Love decided to make another deal with Shakespeare, behind her husband’s back, to write nothing less, nothing more than the greatest love play the world would ever know.

She intended to give as a surprise gift to Morpheus. Morpheus saw it as his wife trying to undermine his own deal with the mortal, working her influence inappropriately. It didn’t help that the play became a success.

”Why dear sister! Don’t you cry! Is this about the waltz?” Love found the tears marking her cheeks, as Despair gave her a tight hug, as the brunette queen hid her face in Lady Despair's shoulder. Trying to compose herself, drying the tears that didn’t stop falling. A few minutes went until Love was able to speak, still with a crying voice, raising slightest her head. “T-the Waltz? No, it’s nothing of sorts. It’s…” Lady Despair started to rip her own skin, as Love reached for her hand, making her stop, her husband’s sister lowered her already low voice, looking at the sides “Sister Love you don’t have to hide from me, I feel your misery as if it was my own. I see your pain.” Love blushed. She liked Despair, but in her current state, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to confide in her. After all, she indulges in states of desperation, anxiety and failure. All three that Love was overwhelmed with. “The embarrassment of being used to provoke jealousy on a muse. It is low even for my brother.”

Love felt her blood freezing. Muse. Calliope? Was she there? Love didn’t see her. But Morpheus was indeed looking for someone else. Probably her. Did he find her? And jealousy? What-

The kiss.

It hit the queen like a shot through the chest. Embarrassment hit her entire body and Love wanted, desired, dreamed of leaving to go home. Not her husband’s home. Her home The Garden. Lock herself away and be indisposed for a millennium. .

The minute of frozen reaction was replaced by a burning quiet fury. That coward of a husband! That cheap manipulator! He blamed Love for acting flirtatious with his brother, which she wasn’t, while jealousy of his Calliope in the arms of another! Which was perfectly normal, since she was uncalled. And she was a muse. Muses had affairs left and right. If he wanted loyalty he should have settled for his wife!

She felt her stomach twist in a knot, if she had eaten anything she would probably have thrown up. That laughable display of affection. How the other entities must be amused by it. It would be the laugh of the century. All thanks to her husband.

Dream took her for granted, and something in the mixture of drinks she took as telling her that it was enough. She was Lady of the Four Loves. Usually she relied on familiar and spiritual love. But she was Lady of Carnal Love. She could force her hand and make mortals, entities, and Endless desperately yearn for her. It would be good for him to remember that. He already had a small delusion about Lord Destruction, didn’t he? Not liking the attention she received. Even going through her dreams to see if she had any sordid ideas. Which, if he slightly knew his wife, he would know that it never went near her mind.

But now? Let’s see when Love gives Morpheus something to actually be jealous of.

Lady Love finished her drink until the last drop, the burn made her squeeze her eyes, as the bell of the dinner rang. “Shall we, sister?”

Desire and Despair knew that to disturb the already problematic couple they needed different approaches. Love regarded highly how she was perceived by others, hating to be out of jokes, or the one to be whispered about and was very sensible to anything related to Morpheus’ love affairs. She preferred to not acknowledge them at all. And it was very unpleasant and unsettling when Love, Morpheus and Calliope happened to be at the same event. Dream on the other hand didn’t regard at all his public perception, but abided by his wife's need of showing at least a tolerable union between them. He did not take kindly to being made a fool of, especially by his wife. And Aunt Prim awoke in him feelings of possessiveness over his wife. Desire could make Dream furious with the thought of his wife hiding an affair with none other than his younger brother, who happened to be the complete opposite of him. And Despair could easily put thoughts and doubts in Love’s head. As Desire said to Morpheus, it takes very little to frustrated hearts to feel supported, and easy for them to trust a gossip that sounded like truth.

As soon as the couple sat side by side, occupying the same seats they always occupy, the twins knew their plan had worked.

Love knew she was savoring far too much, thinking Dream was actually jealous of her. It gave something to feed her starving ego. Love knew how damaging, living off those crumbs of attention could be, how it could poison one's relationship. The reserved part of her library was full of half-written books of romances that her cupids recall from the shelfs of the romantic love section. Every page of them, mortals seek love not in love itself but in side-feelings that give them morsels or blurred reflections of what love might be.

The tension between the couple was palpable. Love, who was teary a moment ago, was squeezing her hands with such intensity that the whites in her fingers were evident. Dealing with Morpheus being Morpheus was one thing, to be told by her sister-in-law that wasn’t even in the Harvest that the only fragment of affection her husband showed her in years, was all a jealous act to provoke his mistress was beyond infuriating. It didn’t help that the room seemed unusually unfocused and unsteady. Or maybe her head was too light. Didn’t Elijah give her something to sober her up? Why did she feel worse than before? Well, it didn’t matter, it was a good thing she was intoxicated, she needed to be for what she was planning to do to spite Morpheus.

Besides, she wouldn’t be impolite to her brother in law. Leaving his wine untouched. It probably was a huge faux-pas in some etiquette book she couldn’t remember if it existed or not.

Love reached for her full glass and Dream slowly put his hand over hers, as a gesture of saying she had enough. Immediately, Love snapped her hand away, grabbing the glass, her glacial and defying stare at her husband, while emptying her cup. Morpheus stared back at her with the same intensity. Love could see he was rehearsing to quietly reprimand her without getting attention from his siblings, and she was eagerly waiting to loudly give him the answer he deserved.

Fortunately, thanks to a loud thud that everyone recognized as Lord Destruction, the silent confrontation between the couple was interrupted. The red haired endless sat in front of the couple, as usual. The Queen of Love did something that reminded her husband why he didn’t trust her and why her nature was as shifty and similar to Desire’s. At the same time, his brother sat, Love’s face immediately turned into a delightful smile. The same smile that Primness told Morpheus about, one that could melt the snow, awake springs and warm hearts. Even her voice became soft “Lord Destruction! How delightful to see you. It’s been a minute!”

Poor Lord Destruction was unaware, not very attentive to tensions between couples, or shared grins between siblings. Not at all aware he was the piece missing from Desire’s scheme to make a boring night, a dramatic show. “Love, how are you? I saw you sparkling from the other end of the hallway.” Love leaned on the table, tilting her head to rest on her hand, her elbow on the edge of the table. A mischievous smile dropped from her lips, as she lightly frowned, amusingly asking, a look that the Prodigal never saw in his sister-in-law.” Are you trying to woo me, my lord? “ She spoke with a lower voice, but loud enough to Morpheus hear.

The raven haired king stiffened as he heard his wife's provocation. The red haired endless choked with her words, giving an awkward chuckle. He knew now that Love was humorous, but her jokes at the Harvest were innocent, funny remarks, these seem dangerously provocations.” It’s simple the truth.” Love didn’t pay attention to his hesitation, quickly glancing at Morpheus.

The Dream King knew what she was doing, wanting a reaction out of him. To make a fool of himself. He knew what a brat she could be when intoxicated. But what a nerve she had, the same high morals as Desire, to provoke him with his own brother that she seduced. He didn’t want to believe in Desire, let alone to admit they were right, but his wife's behavior was making it impossible to think of any alternative. Could he blame Destruction, hate his younger brother because he felt for Love’s siren song? “Please, you are going to make me blush!” She crossed her leg under the table, making sure to let her thighs lightly brush against her husbands, and stretching her lower leg nudging against Destruction’s leg as she painfully slowly and discreetly slid her feet through his leg to his tight. She signed, pretending tiredness.

The red haired brother jumped in his seat, at the feeling, eyes went wide and he immediately glance from his brother to his sister in law, as he fumbled with a response and she smirked at his reaction, with his sister-in-law’s foot getting dangerously close to his crotch, and even though it was terminally wrong, it was a kind of touch he didn’t want her to stop “You have no idea, my lord…” She dragged her velveteen voice, like she was tasting every word. And even though his brother, her husband, was by her side, and they were at a table with his other siblings, their conversation seemed private, like all the time in the universe belong to them and nothing else mattered . “How hard it is to be admired these days.” Desire carefully watched the trio's interaction. They opened a smile, mouthing to their twin ‘watch it’.

Lady Death also was eyeing the couple, the thick tension between them, and Love’s sudden attention to the prodigal. She was usually inebriated, everyone could see that, although no one ever addressed it, but always very quiet and polite. Death knew Dream and her had problems. Especially since their marriage condition, and Dream didn’t like to talk about it. But after a century or two, she thought they settled in maybe a friendship. The gossip of their waltz, gave Death even a small hope that they could’ve found happiness in one another.

Seeing Dream almost opened a hole on the floor as he walked to the dinner, moodier than ever, and Love’s wet eyes and uneven walk. She knew the waltz may be the opposite of what she thought. The way her sister-in-law was behaving made Death pinch Desire’s arm “ Stop it, right now.” The golden-eyed sibling looked at her with a hand in their heart, pretending to soothe their pinched skin “Dear sister, are you trying to imply something? I am not doing anything.” This time Delirium, who was until now lost in her own mind, meddled in the conversation “ You are always doing something, Desire. You can’t not be doing anything.” Desire rolled their eyes “Well this time I am doing nothing. Now Love Dove, maybe she finally got bored of Dream.” Desire took a sip of their drink and Death signed, giving up the idea of counting with their help.

Love wasn’t discreet enough Morpheus wouldn’t notice what she was doing. He could feel the way her thigh was tense, the delicate motion somewhere away from him,”Even by your own husband…”

It began as a game, her own personal game of using her tricks as Lady Eros, but as the words left her mouth, her mind grew distant, memories recent and old took place as her eyes were lost in her empty glass, even her teasing under the table stopped, as she dropped her thigh. She frowned again “Do you think he wants me? That he cares?” She gave a humorless chuckle “That-that kiss was for me? A declaration of love?” Love raised her eyebrows and shook lightly her head, fighting the words as she fought her tears “What a joke…” She raised her eyes bitterly and definitely staring at her husband. “Tell him, husband, who those are for.” Dream merely mouth her name in a warning tone, as she continued. “No? I’ll tell them. Those are all for his pretty little who-“

Clearing her throat, Death prepared to say something to distract both Love and Dream. But as she opened her mouth, Morpheus raised from his chair roaring through the room “THAT’S ENOUGH!.” Love bitterly laughs, as she raises from her seat. Both face to face. Death, Destruction and even Delirium trying to say anything they could’ve come up with to try to stop the argument, but the couple was not listening. “Now is it enough? Now is it enough?! You treat a whore like a wife, and a wife like a whore and”

She was abruptly cut. Morpheus didn’t raise his voice again, angrily keeping it down, clenching his teeth, his jaw was hurting from the pressure “You don’t need me to treat you like one. Not when you are opening your legs to anyone who gives you a half-witted compliment!” That was when he felt the cold drink against his face. Silence reigned for a few seconds in the room, not even Desire, who was amusingly twisting in their seat, dared to interrupt. Not even Delirium. “ Know this husband: If it wasn’t against every vow, every inch of my benign.” It physically hurt her saying, her mouth was stiff, like the words wouldn’t come free and she had to pull them out by force. “I would very much do it. And I would make sure that everyone, every single entity knew it.”

Without any balance, and the tears making it even more difficult to see, Love made her way out of the table, angrily untying her long translucid cape, which was more complicated than it seemed, dropping it on the floor before walking away. She couldn’t care less, if Morpheus called for her or not, she needed to get away from him, and his siblings as fast as she could, her mind playing tricks on her, seemingly hearing the laughs, the pity, the ridiculous condescension. She had to ignore those, if she ever wanted to leave this place.

Midway to the garden, She bumped into her host. Looking up to Destiny, she couldn’t think of an apology, or an excuse, he already knew what happened. Of course he knew it. Before it even happened, really. He remained standing still, looking at his sister in law with an indecipherable expression. She knew she could ask him. She could plead right now. To make it go away, to make the pain stop. She dropped her shoulders, grabbing her arms, her throat hurting from holding a sob, as she tried to calm herself not to embarrass herself even more. If only she had more courage, she would ask him. It would be for the better. Dream would be free, Desire would lose his favorite joke, Love could be free, she could breathe. She opened her mouth praying the words would come, but as she tried to ask for the unimaginable, Destiny interrupted her “There is nothing to forgive, my sister. You are tired.” She puzzledly looked at him, as he followed his path. Not giving her any time to think about questioning anything else.

-----------

Love thanked all the stars for Elijah not being in her room. He would be fulming if he saw what she did to her cape, and her heels, since one of them broke and was now lost somewhere in her brother-in-law’s realm. Destiny was right, she was tired. Love was careful in locking her door slowly, so neither Elijah or Lucienne would notice she was back. Her heart was racing, and the complete silence of the Dreaming, made it finally, private enough for her to let go of a painful sob, copiously crying, tripping to the side of her bad, falling in her knees, pressing her face against the bed, staining the white sheets with tears, trying to suffocate her loud sobs. Her whole body trembled, and the only attempt to move was to search for a syrup bottle forgotten under the bed.

She was far beyond drunk by now, but prayed for it to have a sip of wine, something to make her tears blurry and the world blurry again. She was already too sober, in her opinion, too aware of her surroundings, of her life. As she put it to her mouth, her husband appeared by the door. He didn’t knock, of course, neither asked if he could get in. It was his realm after all. Not hers, as he made sure she never forgot.

Morpheus looked at his wife, up and down, the image of misery, the hem of the dress was muddy, and her hair was a wild mess of curls. Half her body splashed on the floor, her back against the side of the bed. One of her heels dangled in her foot, the other was in his hand. Love laugh with herself. What an irony!

The prince with the lost shoe, looking for the princess who lost it. Both wishing it didn’t fit.

Her laugh made him angrily frown. “Do you think this is funny?” She looked him dead in the eye. “You don’t get to be angry at me. Not after what you did.” She stared at him. He wanted a fight? She would give him a fight. What could he possibly do anyway? Send her to Hell and give Lucifer a free opportunity to make alliance with his eternal wife? “What did I do? You were the one using your siren tricks on my own brother! You have no decency.” He walked front to back, as he walked near her bed, the Queen jumped from the floor, she tried to steady herself, but stumbled having to hold on to Morpheus, as he took her hands out of his chest, not waiting if she was steady or not. He couldn’t care less if she was. “You are one to speak of decency! You! I only gave you a taste of what you submit me every single hour, every single minute and second, since you realize you married me, not your dear muse!”

Love turned her back, taking two steps away before turning again. “ Why didn’t you leave me to die? Pray you tell me, why? You didn’t want me, you didn’t love me and is incapable of trying. Why submit me to such misery and you, as my lord likes to say so much, to such embarrassment?”

Morpheus looked at his drunk queen, Love made very uncomfortable questions for someone as drunk as her. The truth is, he couldn’t have left her. From the moment she fainted at his feet and he recognized the beautifully dressed woman at his feet, as Lady Love. Drained of all colors, lips ghostly white. He kneeled lightly caressing her cheek, taking the hair out of her face, she felt cold under his touch. Different from the vibrant young maiden he saw many times, clinging to Desire’s arms, rushing through ballrooms, hiding behind handfans, sweetly denying suitors, blushing when first meeting him.

At that moment, he didn’t think of her as the cruel seductress that deserved punishment, he saw a beautiful queen, a smile that lightened rooms, a caring ruler. Dream couldn’t leave her.

He knew he was completely damned from this day.

That brief moment, a life-and-death minute, was it for the king of dreams. Something changed in his heart, he felt glimpses of it and he shut it. Not that he understood, it would take him a good thousand of years to understand why he couldn’t leave her there. Why he finished his vows, and carried her back to the Dreaming. It wasn’t until later, alone in his throne, he would let his own mind decide what the woman he married and saved was. To think rationally on to whom his Queen was associated to, who orchestrated that arrangement.

But he couldn’t say that, not when fury was the one guiding his heart. Even if he could, he wouldn’t know how to put it in words. It was also a door he liked to keep close. So he answered, in the way he thought would hurt her the most, because that was the game they knew how to play, that is how they communicated. “You are dutiful to your subjects and devoted to the mortal worlds. I couldn’t risk your reincarnation being chaotic.”

If there was still an intact piece of her heart that wasn’t already broken, it would’ve broken. Not a hint of regret in his words, not a hint of emotion. Simple, solid facts. She didn’t know there was still some part of her that hoped for a different answer. “ I thought you would be more sensible.” He shrugged.

Not only break every piece of her, he also had to diminish her. Eoster tried to take a deep breath but her teeth were clenching in a way that she shivered from only trying. She was furious. Scared, tense, ashamed, everything was gone. Her blood was boiling from the only thing she could feel: fury. That man stole years from her life. He made her lonely, miserable. He took her innocence and crushed her spirit. But she refused to let him win.

”Sensible? Me? No. You are right. I am not sensible at all. I spent years smiling through all the humiliations you put me through. “ He started to interrupt her, questioning those humiliations that she thinks he put her through. She threw a bottle at his direction, hitting the mirror of her vanity “No! You listen to me! Every time that someone approaches me with that pity condescending look asking ‘how can you tolerate it?’ ‘Poor dove, how can you still walk in public with him?’ ‘You endure it with such class, I envy you’, ‘ The King was here the other day with her’. Of course you don’t know any of these sorts. It doesn’t get to you. No, you know what you hear? You hear that you are lucky, that you chose right, that they envy you because you have it all: A beautiful wife that sweetly welcomes you home and turns to the other way when you are whoring around having bastards sons…” The raven haired king, took feral steps, seeing pure red.

She never pushed him, not like this, it was different from every other quarrel. The way he came to her, a bull ready to hit his target, she thought he would pass right through her, when he stopped, inches away from her, so close that she felt his breath against her neck. Hot, irregular. But she didn’t flinch. Love stared back in his fury. “ Do you want to hit me? Do you?! Then fucking do it!” She was shivering, tears returning to her eyes, incapable of stopping, her voice trembling as she tried to speak with assertion “Make me feel something.” Other than humiliation, other than embarrassment and bitterness.

The second she saw him flinch, she closed her eyes expecting the hit, expecting the sting of pain. It took a few seconds of silence, hot, dense silence and unsteady chests rising, to hear her husband come to himself. “Leave.” He wasn’t looking at her anymore, dropping his hands at his sides. She opened her eyes to see him taking a step back. She just looked at him, not moving, not saying a word.

He took more steps away from his wife, as he needed for his and her safety to get away from her. “ Leave the Dreaming.” He repeated. Still the words couldn’t ring a reaction of the brunette “I am banning you, Lady of Love, Queen of the Four Loves, from the Dreaming. You shall return only on my command.” Love turned her face to him. He couldn’t look at her. “You can’t- I am your wife.” She mumbled as he nodded. “A True Marriage does not require us to live together. It requires being married. You shall continue your duties at the Garden.” With his head down, staring at the floor, he walked out of her room, leaving her with his final words “Leave until early dawn.”

@secretdreamlandmentality @littlemoistcarrot @lokigirlszendaya

#the sandman #the sandman fanfic #dream of the endless fanfic #morpheus x reader #morpheus x wife #morpheus x ofc #dream of the endless x reader #lord morpheus #eoster #queen of love #sandman netflix #what dreams know about love?#dream of the endless #tom sturridge #the sandman masterlist

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 months ago

Text

Break Bones?

There has been nothing but tension between you and your ward, and Breakbones has only added to it.

bodyguard!Gwayne Hightower x Lannister!Reader x Harwin Strong | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has golden lannister hair, enemies to lovers, forced proximity ig, im just a girl!reader, angst?, jealousy, typos, etc.

A/N: this the '3rd part' to Seeing Red (1) and Seeing Green (2) but you dont have to read either to understand what's happening <3. Also, I think a lot of facts are skewed here in this fic but... Roll with it pls thx. I hope someone enjoys this because I do nawt 🥲

Tagging: @lancedoncrimsonwings @targs-on-zorses @barbieaemond @arabellasleopardcoat @dreamsandconstellations

@uniquecroissant @holdingforgeneralhugs @b00kw0rmsworld

Lunch was my favorite meal. This time of day was most pleasant, with the sun high in the sky and the birds singing. Normally at this time, whatever grogginess the morning gave me would long be gone. But today, it was not so.

Gwayne turns to me as I pointedly smack on my meal to annoy him. If my day is grim, then so should his.

He chews harder than he needs to then swallows, "I see frolicking with Breakbones has made you forget your pedigree."

I raise my brows, "nay," I set my spoon down, "my meal is simply so scrumptious that I cannot contain myself."

Gwayne releases a breath. I watch him as he reaches for his teacup. He looks as though he's using all the muscles in his body to withhold an eye roll. He takes a sip; the heat of the tea leaves his lips ruddy.

I watch him set his floral cup down. I watch him as he leans back on his chair. When did his get that long? The locks by his temples go past his cheeks now. A line forms on his face when I stare too long. I avert my gaze to my own teacup. The milkiness of his face is reflected in my drink. My stomach churns.

"So-" "How-"

We look at each other after speaking at the same time. I open my mouth, meaning to tell him to go first, but he cuts me off and simply speaks, "how is Breakbones?"

Offence latches on my being. How ill-mannered of him not to even feign the courtesy of allowing me to speak first. Irritation springs forth, so I quip, "what?"

Gwayne scoops some honey and stirs it into his tea. He licks what remained on the silverware.

I avoid his eyes as he does so.

"Your whereabouts have not gone unnoticed by me," he says dryly, "I am aware that you have since been accompanied by Breakbones to the market more than once."

A horrid scowl finds my features, "and just who is this foul creature?"

Gwayne's expression falls until my scowl is reflected on him. His jaw sets, "I can assure you; you have already wholly vexed me this morn; you needn't feign ignorance to add to it."

"But I am not acquainted to this brute who breaks bones," I hiss, "and I need not feign something which comes easy for me."

He realizes then that I was sincere in my own vexation when I heatedly continue.

"Your delusions of my character will not bleed into reality, Ser." I pointedly raise a brow, "whichever part of my body you think would associate with such people who garner such names would surely rather strike your cheek."

He furrows his brows as he tilts his head, "yet it seems you are ignorant to the fact Breakbones is your beloved City Watch commander."

My brows furrow. I am silent for a moment before speaking, "Ser Harwin?"

He scoffs out a chuckle, "oh, yes," he takes a sip of his tea, "the brute with such a name is the one you have extended such warm amity to as of late."

A moment of concern and even alarm floods me. But it is fleeting the next moment, and my expression falls. I huff. A pit grows in my stomach, "how acrid and crude."

Gwayne's brows quirk as he gulps his tea. The manner in which his lips curl pierce through my belly in the most unpleasant of ways.

"I am well aware that you and I have never met eye to eye, that you disagree with my interest in beautiful things-"

His expression slips.

"-but your want to deter me of my only companion here is repellent, even for one as you."

Companion? Gwayne's blood rises just as I from my seat across him, "such as I?"

"Such as you!" I maintain, chucking my table napkin onto my half-finished plate.

"I see your unfeigned ignorance has made you callous to my efforts to please you," he words harshly, slowly rising from his seat.

"But it is not your work to please me!" I snap, "your work is to keep me safe!"

"From library books?!" he raises his voice, "from cakes and dresses? What is your danger in King's Landing when not only do a thousand guards reside within these walls, but your own lord brother is seated upon the council of the king?"

My nostrils flare at his words. I decide to maintain my dignity by forfeiting my response. I gather my skirts and flee him.

He releases an irritated laugh, "oh, how very like of you!"

"Do not wait. I have errands to accomplish."

"Ha! Do accomplish them well with your beloved Breakbones."

I storm away from him. I storm and storm until my face rains. It annoys me how my breath shortens and how my throat constricts. I run off to my chambers and dismiss any ready servants there. I crumble to my bed and wring out my melancholy.

The letter I received late last night calls to me from my vanity. I sigh and reach out to it. I slide down my bed and will the contents of the letter to change.

It does not work. The words are as clear as they were last night underneath my lamp, if not clearer now in afternoon shine.

Highgarden would be honored to receive Lady Lannister. House Tyrell presently prepares its home in hopes it will be hers in the apparent future.

I rip the parchment to shreds, as if its riddance would destroy the reality it held.

It does not.

It comforts me, nonetheless.

I wash my face and reapply rogue before exiting my chambers. I begin to walk off but freeze when I see Gwayne at the end of the hallway. He does nothing. He says nothing.

I turn the other way.

I find myself heading to the guard's quarters, where I soon learned Ser Harwin was not. A guard informs me that he was in the training grounds, and so I promptly make my way there.

The moment Harwin catches the golden glint upon my head, he is distracted. He pays less attention to his pupils, offering me a smile and nod in regard. Soon, when I am close enough, he says a quick word before abandoning his post altogether.

Harwin struts up to me with another smile and nod, "my lady Lannister."

My heart swells at his kind regard, a stark contrast of Gwyane, "lord Strong."

"You must forgive my state," he wipes the sweat dripping from his temple, "an hour remains of our session, then I will be free to accompany you to the baker's today," he assures. He smiles but it quickly disappears as he adds, "after I wash and change, of course."

I press my lips tightly together, yet it does not contain my giggle.

Harwin crosses his arms at the sound, his own lips unable to contain his own giggle.

"I am in no hurry, commander," I clasp my hands together, "feel free to ignore me until you are ready."

He walks backward, "I pray you do not require me to do something impossible."

I chuckle at the sentiment, but I roll my eyes. I sit myself on a crate nearby and watch as the man instructs his pupils. He demonstrates the proper handling of a sword and strikes the dummy. For a moment, I think of Gwayne training.

Then suddenly, I remember our argument and find myself calling out, "break bones."

I watch as Harwin turns to me.

I flatten my skirts on my lap but do speak any further.

"You call, my lady?"

I straighten my back, slightly taken aback that he responded, and shake my head, "never mind."

Harwin does not think twice on it. He continues with his lesson.

Watching him teach was... titillating. His voice was rich and sure, his actions more so, and his demeanor was truly that of a commander. More and more, I thought of 'break bones' and continued to convince myself that this was not him. Soon, I was not enslaved to my thoughts and became thoroughly entertained by Harwin's instruction. It was almost a shame that the hour passed as quickly as it did.

Harwin quickly comes to me, announcing he will not take long to tidy up, then leaves just as quickly. Unable to help myself, I decide to ask a guard about this break bones fellow. Before I can even ask if that man was truly his commander, he's already droning about See Harwin Strong. Before he could finish, the said man was beside me, face and locks slightly damp.

Harwin and I make our way to the stables after and I immediately start, "I did not realize you had quite a reputation."

I watch my feet peak out from beneath my dress as we leisurely make our way to his steed. Harwin, with his hands behind him, turns to me with a quirked brow, "and what reputation might that be?"

"Breakbones," I look up.

He simply stares.

"I thought Gwayne thought it up to deter me from your companionship."

He purses his lip, "...does it?"

I give him an incredulous look, "perhaps if I had known it before I knew you. I was testing the name on you. I did not expect you to respond."

"Is it very ill-fitting?"

"Yes," I speak immediately. I tilt my head, "you are very gentle."

He laughs. It is quiet but hard enough that he must clutch his gut and take a moment to gather himself.

Though it was not like him to mock me, I could not help but feel perhaps that in this moment he was. A frown finds me.

I think of Gwayne and his condescending laughter. My chest tightens.

He breathes in deeply before finally calming. Harwin notices my dejected demeanor and it wipes the grin off his face, "forgive me. I laugh only because I have not yet been called gentle in earnest."

It does not rid my frown.

"It pleases me," he mutters.

I stop in my tracks when he reaches for my hand. My pulse quickens when he takes and lifts it.

"I am glad to appear as such to you," he speaks carefully, blue eyes locked on mine. He presses a chaste kiss at the back of my hand. He maintains his hold until we are in front of his horse.

Harwin helps me up the brown stallion. He maintains a respectable hold and even fixes my dress as I seat myself. I look down at him and his smile. I nod, indicating that he can now climb up.

He shakes his head, lips still curled upright, "I do not think it wise for me to ride with you today."

I furrow my brows, "why ever not?"

Harwin takes the reins of his horse, "well, I fear my hasty washing was not enough."

I roll my eyes, "I-"

"And I desire to uphold the gentle nature you recognize in me." Harwin begins to walk.

"I do not understand."

He snorts lightly, "I fear my softness will not remain if I ride behind you."

My brows only furrow deeper.

Harwin catches this and chuckles. He mumbles under his breath, "the lioness is but a kitten."

"I heard that."

He raises a hand, "a jest. An innocent jest."

I spent a good part of the afternoon scrutinizing cakes and frosting, meticulously ordering the perfect assortment to be delivered to me tomorrow.

By the time Harwin and I were back in the Keep, I could tell that he was worn, not only from being made a taste tester against his will, but also from walking back and forth.

Another image of Gwayne flashes in my mind. Guilt and dread threaten to spill from my lips.

Harwin helps me down his steed and softly smiles once I am stood before him. My heart stings at his drowsy expression. My forehead curls as I reach for his cheek, "you have been most patient and kind."

His face perks at my touch.

"I am most grateful," I brush his curls away from his face, "I would not have been able to accomplish what I have today without you."

Harwin straightens when I pull away, seemingly reinvigorated.

"Forgive me if my meticulousness cost us a longer trip than expected."

He chuckles and shakes his head, "you award me more credit than I am due. It is an honor to witness the care you put into your gifts."

I watch him as he leads the horse into the stable. Harwin continues once he's walking back towards me, "I am sure Gwayne's nameday will be heartfelt, knowing his lady took great measures to prepare her gifts for him."

The thought makes me want to pull my hair out. I sigh and simply walk off.

Harwin's expression falls. He follows after me, "is something wrong?"

I watch my shoes peak from beneath my skirt with my steps. I turn to him when he calls me by my name. Harwin has a look of concern upon him. I comb the tips of my golden hair in agitation, "I... do not wish his nameday to come."

A line forms between his brows.

I sigh, "surely you are aware that my move to King's Landing was to secure myself a husband."

Harwin did, in fact, not know this, but does not have the chance to say so.

"My brother says the only house interested in me is that of the Tyrells."

His brows quirk. A doubtful thought.

"I did not..." I turn to the ground, "think my demeanor so odious that I am able to attract but one marriage proposal. Surely my family name weighs more than that."

The thought makes Harwin's forehead curl.

"I am not due to leave for Highgarden until the next moon, but I figured if it pleases Gwayne, I would set him free on his nameday. Another gift for him."

Harwin frowns, "do you not think your decision rash?"

"Rational, perhaps."

He does not seem to like my resolve on the matter, and yet he does not press any further. The rest of our walk is silent, and soon we are in the hall to my chambers.

Both Harwin and I slow at the sight of Gwyane standing attention at my door. He shifts in his spot, turning to us. When we reach him, I notice the way his jaw feathers.

The auburn haired man lifts his nose slightly, "Breakbones."

Harwin nods, "ser Hightower."

"How kind of you to return the lioness to her den," he turns to me, pale blue eyes ripping into my flesh, "I do hope she did not bare her teeth and claws too much."

Harwin raises a brow, "her company is most welcome, teeth and claw included."

I turn to Harwin. He smiles at me. Gwayne watches. His blood curdles.

"She tells me tomorrow is your nameday," Harwin looks to Gwayne, "what plans have you made to celebrate?"

"Whatever my lady has planned for me," he chuckles dryly. His begins to turn red in the face.

My brows furrow, "worry not, Gwayne. There shall be no errands to attend to on the morrow."

"How magnanimous," he smiles, or rather sneers, "your commander seems to need the day off. See how worn you've made him."

"Enough," I quip.

"Agreed," he blurts, "you should retire," he motions with his head, "I will treat the man to some wine," he turns to Harwin, "and perhaps he will the same, as a nameday treat."

Harwin nods, "perhaps on your nameday itself. I have an evening patrol I must cover."

Gwayne's nostrils flare, "unfortunate."

With that, I thank Harwin for accompanying me and head inside my chambers.

Gwayne places a hand on Harwin's shoulder, leading him down the hall, "I must express my appreciation for lightening my load as of late."

"My duty is to serve, but it is a pleasure to do so for the lady Lannister."

Gwayne pulls his hand away then brings both behind him, "I'm sure for one who is daily surrounded by sweaty men, it truly is."

Harwin does not respond. They continue walking down the hall.

"I am glad to know she did not forget my nameday and neither of us will need to be worked by her tomorrow."

Harwin gives a lopsided smile, "if it comes down to it, ser, I will do any work she may require of you in your stead."

Gwayne's face twitches but he expertly covers it up with a low chuckle, "oh, how good. Do not deny me then if it happens."

The two men part ways at the end of the hallway. Gwayne heads for his chambers, feeling irritated and suffocated. He bathes but it does not soothe him as much as he hoped. The next morning, he wakes up groggy and attempts to bathe it away, but the water was as ineffective as the night before.

He gets dressed and makes his way to the solar. He stops in his tracks when he hears the ruckus from inside. It doesn't take him long to recognize the voices, which is why he decides to enter and interrupt the argument taking place inside.

I gasp softly at the sound of the door opening. The sight of Gwayne's concerned expression only makes the tears from my eyes spill further.

Tyland turns to him. He does not mask his ire, which is why he does not greet him. My brother simply quips, "you will not leave her today."

Gwayne turns from my brother to me. It takes a moment before he realizes it was an order, "of course, my Lord."

The master of coin sighs and heads for the door. Before leaving, he raises a hand, "a servant will come to deliver your nameday gift tonight or tomorrow. Lannisport has been overflowing as of late, but I was assured your delivery will be swift."

Gwayne nods, "you have my thanks."

Tyland leaves after this, and Gwayne walks over to me.

I pull away before he can touch me. I lean towards the table and push the assortment of cakes towards him, "you will not need to steal my sweeties today, ser."

I walk towards the window, turning my back on him, uncomfortable with the idea of the man seeing me in disarray. He is insensitive to this and follows after me. I move away, but he does not relent.

"You need not tend to me!" I snap, strands of gold sticking to wet cheeks. I brush my hair away and helplessly point to the table, "there is a box on your chair. Tend to it! I have no use of you."

Gwayne pulls his head back. The sentiment stung, but he decides not to take offence. He cannot, not with the red eyes staring back at him. He decides to walk off and head for his usual chair.

Sure enough, a smallish wooden box tied in a red velvet bow rests on the cushion. He sets it down on the table before seating himself. He turns to me then back at the box. He undoes the bow and opens it. He stares at it. His silence reads to me as disinterest.

"Gloves. Practical but stylish," I walk towards him. He turns to me as I pull the chair beside him. I sit down, taking one glove and the hand it belonged to.

Gwyane spares a moment to watch the red leather be slipped on him hand, the rest of his moments are spent observing the tear laced lashes before him.

After buttoning the glove in his wrist, he stretches his fingers, opening his closing his hand to test the fit. His eyes do not leave me as he does so, "it fits me perfectly."

"As it should," I say, reaching for the other, "I paid the artisan well for this."

He grabs my hand just before I can do that with his. I stare at the veins that run past his sleeves, "I am exhilarated by the knowledge the shape of my hands are known by you."

My lips part.

Had it been any other day, had the circumstances been different, I would have received that statement with offence, for it was one of clear mockery. Yet, with how his dimples vaguely made an appearance and how his lips pressed softly into a smile, it seemed... genuine.

And it seemed to make my heart skip.

I mutter, "I stole a pair of your gloves and had it fitted."

Gwayne chuckles.

My heart skips again.

"Clever girl," he releases my hand and removes the glove I put on him. He takes the ribbon on the table then turns to my hair, "red goes well with gold, wouldn't you agree?"

"... my hair is already made."

"You would be glad to know that I am skilled in unmaking it," he pulls my chair closer to him.

My body burns as he reaches for my curls. My hair was braided by the sides in a fashion I quite enjoyed; I did not enjoy the idea of him unmaking it.

"-just as I am skilled in braiding," Gwayne adds.

I knit my brows at the idea.

"Do not look so shocked," he chuckles, "my sister has as much hair as you, and I did not enjoy how it flew to my face when we were children."

Before I can speak, he grabs my shoulders and turns me away. He gathers my hair and my skin pricks at the feel of his fingers against my nape.

He is silent when he begins. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of his light touch.

"I would braid Alicent's hair when she wept as well."

My eyes open. Oh.

"Thankfully, it was not a frequent occurrence."

I turn to my skirt.

"I do not tell you this to press you for answers," he softly clarifies, "merely to express how I think it comforted my sister... and how I wish to do the same for you."

I do not reply. My lips wobble.

"I was instructed not to leave your side today and I do not wish to add to whatever offense that could bring a lioness to tears."

I silently wipe my face.

Gwayne says nothing more after this, not until he finished braiding my hair.

He rests the braid on my shoulder. I inspect it, seeing he incorporated the ribbon into the pleats and even managed to make a small bow at the bottom. I look up at him. He frowns and reaches for my cheek, wiping my tears.

I take a deep breath to calm myself, "my brother received an offer for my hand."

Gwayne stills.

"Well," I turn to the box on the table, "he received multiple."

He leans on his elbow. He smiles, though against himself, "we came to King's Landing to find you a match, did we not?"

"It seems my brother has other plans," I mutter, "apparently Tyland means to use me as leverage for the crown. He wishes to wed me to the Tyrells so that he can have a firmer hold on Highgarden. Jason does not know this. He was led to believe I was simply going to King's Landing to purchase new dresses."

A line forms between his brows, "I presume Jason found out about Tyland's plot."

"Yes. Jason writes that I should put my dresses to good use and entertain any suitors that come to me whilst I am in King's Landing."

He nods curtly. He sighs and shrugs, "why the tears then? Does the idea of entertaining men upset you so?"

"..."

"... Tyland reminded me of what happened last time when I had many suitors at my beck and call."

Gwayne clenches his teeth. He rests his hand in front of me, "I swear on my life that no one will come close enough to take advantage of you again."

His hand itches to reach out, but he instead goes for the cakes, dragging it in front of him. He shoves a chocolate cake into his mouth and chews.

I watch him lick his lips. He notices how I lick mine. He speaks through a mouth half-full, "do not think I will share simply because you are sad."

I snort and roll my eyes. Gwayne is relieved this was the reaction he garnered.

"I had enough cake from tasting them with Harwin yesterday."

He stops chewing.

I notice the frosting on the corner of his lips and wipe it with my thumb, "enjoy your cakes."

Gwayne is perfectly still.

"Happy nameday."

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