#yes here i am wallowing in self pity again

[suugarbabe]

Origin Stories

(part 3)

summary: baby first year matty arrives at hogwarts and the first person he interacts with seems to not know him at all. matty is unsure how to feel when someone treats him like just another person instead of the dark lords son

warnings: fluff, angst, hurt but comfort after, slight magical child abuse, sad baby matty ; ; ; she's a long one folks

an: forever thankful for @musingsofahufflepuff and all the wondrous thoughts he puts into this, the editing he helps with, just everything <3; you're all welcome, yes there is another part, there will always be more

Magical wounds don’t always heal quickly. They also don’t always heal without scars. Mattheo learned that if a diffindo charm is cast with enough hatred and precision a simple episkey charm won’t do the trick.

That or his first year wand work just isn’t as practiced. His mother forbade his elf, Feindre, from healing it for him, and Salazar knows she wasn’t going to do it. 

Which left little newly twelve year old Mattheo standing in his bathroom staring in the mirror. It wasn’t even bleeding; the dark magic that his mother emits singed the edges of the cut as she made it. 

He really did try to heal it the best he could, but it seemed like he was going to always have a prominent scar running through his right eyebrow. 

His first thought after it all happened was how disappointed you’d be. That was his internal rationale as to why he was going to avoid you when he finally made it back to the castle. 

He couldn’t fathom his nightmares coming true. For you to tell him that you hated him. That he was a monster for what he did. That he deserved what his mother had done. 

He didn’t tell anyone where he was going, intending on just wallowing in self-pity. So when you found him hidden behind the wicker baskets near your common room entrance he was surprised. 

The sniffling alerted you. You were able to hear it as you neared the bottom of the spiral staircase. At first you thought maybe a fellow first year had forgotten the password, looking ahead of you to try and find someone from your dorm. 

But two steps past the stone tree base of the stairs and you heard sniffling again, this time from the nook that held the baskets. 

If he hadn’t made any noise, no one would be any the wiser that there was a Slytherin first year crouched behind the tall baskets in the stair nook. A crying one at that. 

“Matty?” Your voice startled him, quick hands swiping away his tears and fluffing his hair. “Matty, is that you back here?” Your head poked around the basket just in time to see him straightening out his robes. 

He turned his back to you. Part of him was hoping you’d just leave him there to rot in his miserable pit of shame and sadness. Part of him was glad you were there. 

“I know you can hear me, Mattheo.” The use of his full name made him flinch and he turned around to face you. While his back was turned you had joined him on the floor, legs criss-crossed and hands resting in-between. 

He kept his head down, curls covering his forehead, “Are you here to yell at me?” 

“Why would I-” your sentence was interrupted as he raised his head, fresh scar on full display. 

“I’m assuming Theo or Enzo told you, so you found me to tell me off and tell me what a shit friend I am. But don’t worry…I’ve been telling myself all of it already.” His voice wobbled at the end of his sentence, tears welling in his eyes. 

You didn’t understand what was happening, “Matty, talk to me, what- why would I be mad at you?” 

He sniffled again as he wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand, “I b-broke your promise.” 

You inched closer to him, just slightly. You didn’t want him to run off; he was apparently good at finding places to hide. “Matty, what promise are you talking about?” 

He couldn’t look you in the eyes as he said it, “I couldn’t let it go, I…he just..Draco is a fucking prat and he deserves what I did.” You nodded, face unchanging, “What did you do, Matty.” 

He took a shuddered breath, willing himself not to cry while he explained himself, “He just looked so smug at the party - his family’s christmas party they throw every year - and I just couldn’t stand it

“Not with me knowing what he said to you, how he made you feel. It wasn’t right that he was laughing with his brainless friends that follow him around. I just kept seeing you crying in the back of my mind.” 

There was a rush of heat to your cheeks, something about knowing Matty was still dwelling on how awful you felt was stirring something inside you but you couldn’t tell exactly what. 

“I guess he must’ve told a joke or something,” Mattheo continued, staring at a point on the ground like it was replaying live in his brain as he told you, “Crabbe was cracking up and Draco just had that smirk on his face and I knew it was likely the same when he was being awful to you.

“So I had to do something, I couldn’t stop myself. I pushed through the crowd and I went right up to him and I just…lost it. I punched him in the gut first. Then he tried to take out his wand from his pocket and I just grabbed it from him and threw it into the crowd of adults around us.

“I just kept hitting him, and hitting him and I couldn’t stop. When he started crying I just thought good, he deserves this. I wanted him to physically feel the pain he had emotionally caused you.”

He felt the tears start to fall, but he couldn’t find it in him to care anymore. If you were going to stop being friends with him, he wanted you to know everything, to know he got rightfully punished already so that hopefully when you told him off you weren’t as harsh. 

“My mother stopped me. Well she…hit me with a stupify jinx and I guess she apparrated us back to our manor because she hit me with something else to wake me up so she could berate me.” 

He spared you to the details of his mother’s words. ‘You horrifically idiot child, do you know how embarrassing that was for me? For your father? Over a Mudblood, Mattheo. Mudblood we aim to rid our world of, we do not defend them.

“Is your mother the one who…” you trailed off, but he knew you were staring at it. “She was teaching me a lesson,” was all he could respond with. 

He saw you shake your head in his peripheral, “No. Absolutely not, no Matty that is not a lesson that’s abuse. C’mon. C’mon let’s go right now, we’re going to Madam Pomfry, I’m taking you to the infirmary so she can fully heal it.” 

You stood up then. He didn’t move, “No, I can’t do that.” You held your hand out for him, “Just, let’s go Matty she can heal it up really well I’ve seen her do it on one of my dorm mates before.” 

Mattheo just shook his head, “You don’t understand…she’ll just do it again. She wanted it like this, made me heal it myself and everything it’s…it’s a reminder.” He heard you scoff from above him. 

“What could that possibly be a reminder of? That she hates you?” Your mind was filled with so much purity, Mattheo almost didn’t want to tell you. He didn’t want to ruin how you saw the wizarding world, the excitement and joy you had on the train. 

But he also couldn’t lie to you, so he did his best to say the tamest version of what it really was, “It’s her reminder that she could if she wanted to.” Your sweet soul just couldn’t comprehend, “That she could what?” 

“Anything.”

You stood in a silence for a moment. To Mattheo it felt like forever. Like you were deciding all of it was too much. That he was too much. When you started speaking he couldn’t help his reflexive tensing, waiting for the rejection he figured was coming.

“Will you let me give you your Christmas present then? It might cheer you up?” 

Between the crying and standing up quickly Mattheo went slightly light headed for a moment, “Y-you got me a gift?” You gnawed on your lip slightly, “Well, erm, I didn’t actually buy you something but I…made you something.” 

You were staring at your hands, fingers fiddling with one another. Mattheo grabbed your hand suddenly, ignoring the rapid rhythm of his heart getting stronger and louder at the contact as he started dragging you down the hall. 

You glanced quickly at the pile of barrels that was your house entrance as Mattheo stopped in front of a portrait on the wall about ten feet down. “Erm, Matty. Why are we standing here,” you mock whispered, mirroring his position and looking at the portrait. 

“I’m waiting for you to say your password,” he turned to look at you, face scrunched in slight confusion. A grin broke on your face, “This is not my house entrance, goofy.” 

You begin to walk away from him, Matty following closely like a new puppy as you stop in front of the pile of barrels. You take a step closer to the barrel two from the bottom, knocking in time with the name ‘Helga Hufflepuff’. 

The front of the barrel begins to roll upwards into itself and you start to walk forward, Mattheo immediately behind you. “Your password is just knocking?” You nod, “Mhm! And it’s never changed and we were told it never will change. So you can’t tell anyone.” 

Mattheo nodded, “I won’t.” You turned to him then, “Do you pinky?” Mattheo couldn’t stop the instinctual tilt in his head, “Do I what?” You held a fist out towards him, your small pinky finger the only thing outstretched, “Do you pinky swear?”

His quickly mimics your hand position, confusion further settling in his brain as you hook your pinky finger on to his. You jut out your thumb, bringing it to your lips and kissing it quickly. 

Again, Mattheo does the same, not understanding what’s going on. “Okay, now seal it,” you lean your fist against his, your thumb reaching over. He touches his thumb to yours and his face and neck begin to feel hot.

His heart is beating quickly and he sort of feels light headed again, but you’re smiling, so he’s smiling and then you’re opening the door to your room. 

Enzo was the first to notice it, pointing it out loudly from across the dorm. “Whatcha carryin’, Matt?” Mattheo set the gift bag, your gift bag, down on his bed before shrugging off his robes. 

He was digging in his trunk, top half nearly fully inside while looking for lounge clothes when he heard the crinkle of tissue paper. By time he was able to get back to his bed Theo had revealed one of your gifts. 

“S’that a little dragon?” Enzo walked over enthusiastically to the opposite side of the bed Mattheo was on. Theo was currently holding the crocheted Antipodean Opaleye high in the air. 

Theo’s slightly longer limbs gave him the advantage he was hoping for as Mattheo reached for it, “Give it back, it’s not yours. It was made for me, not you!” 

Enzo climbed up on the bed next to Mattheo’s, giving himself a few good jumps before launching himself over and on top of Theo. “Oof– Enzo what the fuck,” Berkshire had snagged the handmade stuffie and was now settled against Mattheo’s pillows inspecting it.

He turned it this way and that, looking from its long neck to its wings and down to the tail before Matty grabbed it back from him. “Cut it out you gits, you’re gonna break him.” 

“What’s that string on your wrist?” Theo reaches to grab Mattheo’s forearm but he pulls it quickly into his chest. He grabs hold of his wrist, shielding it from view. 

The incessant whine of Draco’s voice wafts from his curtains, “Two handmade gifts? Your little badger friend poor or something? No surprise for a mud-” 

The rage in Mattheo grew nearly as high as the night he tried to beat Draco with his bare hands. Thankfully you had done more than just crochet and stuff the dragon; Mattheo held the Opaleye towards Draco’s bed, pulling strongly on its tail. 

A stream of flames emitted from the stuffed dragon’s mouth, immediately igniting the middle of the drapes on Draco’s four poster. 

“Wicked…clever little badger charmed it?!” Theo sounded highly impressed and Mattheo gleamed with pride. With Draco now distracted with his flaming curtains, Mattheo turned to his friends.

Enzo couldn’t contain his laughter at the sight, hands clutching his belly as he rolled to his side. Theo had his palm outstretched, giving Matty a ‘give it here’ motion with his fingers while holding a finger to his lips. 

Mattheo passed the dragon over just as Draco managed to put the first fire out. Theo then gave the Opaleye’s tail another tug, another stream of fire reaching Draco’s bed. The blonde boy let out a high pitched squeal of terror, attempting to throw a stinging jinx towards the other boys.

An impressive protego charm was thrown up by Matty as they all ran out of the room and towards the common room in a fit of giggles. As they all settled near a fireplace in separate chairs, catching their breath, Theo was the first to break the silence, “Where’d you learn that protection charm, amico? Isn’t that a sixth year charm?” 

“You know who his parents are-ow!” Theo wacked Enzo in the back of the head, “Futtuto idiota!” He turned back to Mattheo, “Sorry ‘bout him.” 

Mattheo just shook his head, gnawing lightly on his bottom lip, “S’okay, he’s right. Feindre-erm, my house elf taught it to me.” His face warmed slightly at the admittance. 

Enzo, trying to gracefully recover from his earlier statement, smiled far too widely, “Well that was - erm, nice of him?” Theo groaned, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose before changing the subject, “You gonna show us what’s on your wrist now?” 

Mattheo shyly held his hand out in front of him. Both Theo and Enzo leaned forward, trying to get a closer look at the twisted and knotted pattern of greens, black and white on his wrist. Matty’s heart beat a little faster, something akin to protectiveness over your handiwork coming over him. 

“Badger made that by hand you said? No magic at all?” Enzo was now sitting on his knees in front of Mattheo, peering closer at the bracelet on his wrist. “Merlin, Enzo, back up. Where’s your boundaries, mate,” Theo pulled Enzo back by his collar causing the boy to fall backwards. 

“They said it was a friendship bracelet,” Mattheo said the phrase with some pride in his tone. Theo huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “Where’s our friendship bracelets?” Mattheo shrugged, “Dunno, maybe you guys aren’t really friends.” 

“Oi! We’re friends!” Enzo defended, “We stand next to each other in Herbology, we were partners just last week!” Mattheo laid across the sofa, putting his hands behind his head, “Partners do not equate friends, Enzo.” 

Matty smirked to himself when he heard Enzo begin to grumble. “Well we’ll just find out at breakfast tomorrow won’t we.” 

You didn’t show up for breakfast. Mattheo’s mind went in a bit of a spiral because of it. He ran through everything that happened the previous evening, all of your interactions together. 

Was he not enthusiastic enough about his gifts? It wasn’t that he was not excited, he just never received such a thoughtful gift before. 

He never received any gifts before. 

He didn’t eat at all. The thought of you being upset with him made him feel physically ill and the idea of eating sausage and eggs made him want to vomit. 

He had been pulling at his curls during his walk to charms, gnawing on his bottom lip harshly. He was just about ready to explode from the weird rush of heat that seemed to be encompassing him the more he thought about you when he finally heard your voice. 

“Matty!” You were waving your hand high as you walked through the doorway. Without giving it thought Mattheo did the same, raising his arm high as he waved, his new friendship bracelet now on full display. 

Your grin was so large Mattheo was sure your face was about to split right in half, “You wore it! I’m so glad, I was afraid you’d find it a little bit cheesy.” 

Mattheo followed your gaze to his arms now crossed on the table, bracelet still peaking from his robes. The bridge of his nose and tips of his ears suddenly became very warm as he pulled his sleeve to cover it fully. 

“Erm, yeah. I’ve never gotten a present-Ehm, a present like that before. How did you make it without any magic?”

You turned in your seat to face him, hands animated as you spoke, “Last summer I visited my cousin in America and we went to this thing called a summer camp and we learned how to do all sorts of cool stuff, bracelets were one of them.” 

Mattheo had a bad habit of staring and not responding. He supposed it was likely something he developed to cause less negative reactions from his mother. 

However you were now running your hand through your hair, cheeks seemingly warming and waiting for a response. “What’s, erm, what’s a summer camp?” Mattheo finally found his voice but he wanted to smack himself. 

You sound so stupid, everyone probably knows what those are. He clenched his fist tightly, then relaxed them; a skill Feindre taught him a few years ago. 

Your eyes seem to brighten once more, launching into a long explanation about the experience and all the activities you got to do and what they meant. 

It all sounded like Gobbledegook to him, but seeing how happy it made you to get the opportunity to explain something that excited you was satisfying enough for him.  

Charms was the only class he had with you Monday mornings. Thus, once Fitwick dismissed everyone he was stuck to survive without you until lunch. Mattheo, therefore, felt numb for the next two classes.

Theo was about to ask Mattheo if he needed to go to the infirmary on their way to lunch as it looked like he’d been walking around brain dead for the last two lessons. That is until he noticed you at the lunch table, next to Enzo. Sitting right next to Enzo. 

Theo also noticed this, grabbing Mattheo by the elbow and dragging him to the other side for the both of them to sit across from you. Mattheo contemplated if it would be too dramatic of him to climb over the table and sit on your free side. 

“So what’d we miss?” Theo started piling food on his plate, a passing glance at you and Enzo the only indication of where he was directing the question. 

You rolled your eyes as Enzo responded, “I was just asking our little badger here why Matt got a friendship bracelet but we didn’t.” 

They’re my badger not our badger you twit, Mattheo squeezed his eyes shut trying to shake the negative thought from his brain. 

Theo hummed, biting into one of the several pasties he now had on his plate, “Hey, that’s right! Why didn’t we get one?” 

You shrugged your shoulders, “Matty was my first friend.” Mattheo’s chest swelled, the smallest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. Enzo scoffed, “We were your second and third friends! We deserve bracelets too! What, do you hate us all of a sudde-ow, ow, oi what the?!” 

Enzo’s hand covered his forehead where you had just landed a particularly hard flick with your finger, “Lorenzo don’t be selfish.” The boy next to you slumped his shoulders slightly, a soft and grumbled ‘sorry’ leaving his lips. 

Theo took another bite of pasty, “M’kay so when we’re all as close as you and Matty do we get two gifts, too?” 

“Well one was for Christmas and one was for his birthday.” You said it so casually, like it made perfect sense. Mattheo, however, was looking at you with wide awestruck eyes before quickly looking down at his plate. 

The other two boys looked slightly guilty. ”Mate,” Enzo looked toward the older boy, “your birthday was over holiday? We missed it?” 

Mattheo just shrugged, “You both were around. It was the same day as Malfoy’s little soirée.” Theo and Enzo looked at each other before Theo turned to Mattheo, “You mean the same day your mum-”

“Yeah, the same,” Mattheo pulled on the curls by his forehead trying to hide the still healing scar by his eyebrow. Noticing his uncomfortableness, you tried to change the subject. 

“Did he show you guys his dragon’s special skill?” 

Mattheo was thankful for the distraction. The other boys taking pride in the slight torture they all instilled on Draco. You tried to reprimand them slightly but Mattheo saw the edges of your lips curling upwards. 

Enzo, as always, was being enthusiastic in his storytelling. Hands flailing and body moving to illustrate what his words were describing. As he described getting the little dragon from Theo, he mimed launching himself off the bed and then wrapped his arms around you to simulate what he did to Theo and Mattheo suddenly felt horrible. 

A weird twisting started appearing slowly in his stomach and spreading throughout his body. It only became more intense as you laughed, pushing Enzo off you. A low heat began emanating off Matty as Enzo continued to bump or nudge you throughout his storytelling. 

Mattheo gripped his fork harshly, the prongs scraping against the table as a means of distraction (and not hex Berkshire at the lunch table). Someone must have asked him a question because Theo nudged him with his elbow, nodding his head towards you. 

“Are you okay, Matty?” Your eyebrows were knit slightly together, eyes darting from his to his fork making four deep marks in the wood of the table. Mattheo dropped his fork to the table, “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. Did you ask me something?” 

A small smile appeared on your features, “I just asked what you were thinking about.” Mattheo wracked his brain for a viable excuse. He wasn’t sure how you would feel about him plotting Enzo’s demise due to his proximity to you. 

“Ehm, I was, erm, just thinking about what to get you for, erm your birthday? W-when is it again?” 

Through a mouthful of sausage Enzo answers for you, “ ‘ts in March.” That twisting feeling started brewing again, thankfully Theo asked what Mattheo was wondering. “How do you know when their birthday is?”

Enzo sat a little straighter, “Because we’re friends.” Then very unceremoniously, he stuck his tongue out at Matty. 

“I’ll cut that tongue out, Enzo,” Matty threatened and the boy immediately sucked his tongue back into his mouth. You playfully scolded the curly haired boy, “Oh hush, Matty you will not. And yes, Enzo we’re friends, Theo you are also my friend but Mattheo is my best friend.” 

Mattheo felt like his heart was swelling, the smile exploding on his face was out of his control and his legs started bouncing slightly. Then he turned back to Enzo, sticking his tongue out at him. 

“I’ll cut that tongue out, Matty,” Enzo mocked his friend's earlier words. You rolled your eyes, Theo apparently doing the same. “Are they always like this?” 

Theo leaned his head on his fist, elbow supported on the table as his eyes darted back and forth at the two other boys flinging insults at each other, “Honestly this is new, but I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon.” 

Now that he had learned when your birthday was, Mattheo was determined to get you a gift. He had two months to plan, and he was really wracking his brain about what would be good enough after all you’ve done for him. 

He did his best to listen intently (as if he listened any other way around you) for any idea of what to get you. Mattheo knew he was rich, all of his friends were. He could buy you anything you wanted. He wanted to buy you anything you wanted. 

But everything you talked about loving or wanting wasn’t material whatsoever. 

A month and a half later Matty was slumped in a lounge chair in his common room. He was looking especially moody, which made Theo a little hesitant to even ask, but he considered Mattheo a good friend now. 

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong, Matt?” Theo lounged sideways over the chair next to Mattheo’s, his continuously growing limbs hanging over each side. Mattheo stayed brooding, “Why do you care.” 

Theo shrugged, “We’re mates, I care about you. I don’t wanna see you all sad and mopey all the time.” Mattheo felt a slight pang in his chest, looking over at Theo and his shy grin. 

Mattheo sat up straighter, “I don’t know what to get y/n for their birthday and it’s only like two weeks away now.”  Theo nodded, “Have they mentioned anything they want?” 

A scowl crossed over Matty’s face, “Don’t you think I’ve been listening for that all this time?” Theo threw his hands up in defense, Mattheo sighed, “Sorry, I’m sorry Theo it’s just. Ugh, they’re so great, you know? They made me gifts. How can anything I buy top a handmade gift?” 

Mattheo sunk into the chair again with a groan. Theo pulled at his bottom lip as he thought to himself, then shaking his head as if to disregard whatever he was thinking. “You know they still haven’t made us bracelets? Enzo was complaining earlier saying he was just going to make them himself but he can’t figure out how they did it.” 

Mattheo’s eyes widened, and then a wonderful idea occurred to him, “I don’t say this often, Nott…but you’re a bloody genius. I gotta go.” And with that he sprinted from the common room. 

Mattheo slowed as he reached the library. He really hoped she was in there. He didn’t particularly have a problem with her, per say. But he knew she had a problem with him and all of his friends. Maybe his cousin in particular. 

As typical, he spotted Hermione Granger alone at one of the library tables, parchment and textbooks spread all about, quill moving vigorously. 

He stood in front of her table for a moment before he realized he’d have to actually say something for her to get out of whatever study trance she was in. Matty cleared his throat, “Em, hello.” 

Her quill stopped abruptly, eyes slowly lifting until she realized who was in front of her. Mattheo took her silence as a guide to keep talking, “You’re, erm, muggle born right?” The shift in her eyebrows told Mattheo he started off with the wrong thing, quickly trying to back track and start over. 

“No, not like that! I just mean…you know what this is right?” He pulled his robes up, showing off the intricate pattern of string in his house colors. Hermione set down her quill, “You’re asking me if I know what a friendship bracelet is? What are you up to Riddle, some sort of prank?”

He quickly calmed the bit of anger that arose inside his chest, “It’s Mattheo…and no, it’s not a prank. Do you know how to make these? Where I could get the stuff for it?” She set down her quill, clasping her hands in front of her. 

“Why should I help one of Malfoy’s little friends?” Mattheo scowled for a brief moment, then cooled his face back down, “First of all, we’re not friends. Our proximity is by force not by choice, Granger. Second of all, I’m the one who gave him the black eye after Christmas.” 

They stared at each other in silence, Hermione very clearly trying to analyze if he’s being truthful. Mattheo did his best to keep his stoic, however he couldn’t hold her stare, eyes darting around at everything but her. 

“Fine…I’ll tell you, but just the basics.” 

Mattheo had never sat down so quickly at a library table all year. Hermione pulled out a piece of fresh parchment from her bag, ripping off about six inches. “There’s that much instruction?!” Mattheo was beginning to feel defeated, but Hermione just held up her hand to silence him. 

“I’m just writing basic instructions and a very rough illustration,” she turned the parchment to face him. Mattheo’s eyes danced over the words, desperately trying to make them all make sense. Hermione then tapped the tip of her wand to the parchment, the illustration now repetitively demonstrating how to start the knots. 

Mattheo had to stop his jaw from dropping, “Woah.” Hermione shrugged, “That’s the best you’re getting, don’t expect a real life example from me. It’s not going to be easy if this is the first time you’ve ever attempted it, I hope you know that.” 

His mouth flattened into a thin line, “I’m well aware…but erm, thanks for this.” He stuffed the parchment in the pocket of his robes and stood up. 

“Thanks for punching your cousin,” Hermione wore a small smile as she began focusing back on her work. He began to walk away before turning round to face her once more, “Where would I find the right-”

“Any common string will work, Ri- Mattheo.” 

He nodded, thanking her once more before leaving the library. He started down a random corridor, trying to wrack his brain on where in this ginormous castle he would find what he was looking for. 

The bracelet you made him was his house colors, would you like it if the one he made was yours? Fuck what was their favorite color again? Did they tell me? I’m such a shitty listener, Mattheo felt like he was going insane. This had to be perfect. 

His mind was going a mile a minute, round and round of what he might need, where he was supposed to get it. Then a door appeared next to him on the corridor wall. It looked like an entrance to a broom closet. He looked both ways down the corridor before shrugging his shoulders and turning the doorknob to walk inside. 

“Bloody hell…” the room did turn out to be about the size of a broom closet. But it also held about every color of string Mattheo could think of. There were also small bins of tiny beads, all different colors, some white and round with black little letters. 

As he searched for materials he noticed all of the house colors seemed to be sectioned off together. He walked over to the black and yellow of Hufflepuff before noticing another few sets of bins with different beads in them. Black beads, boring. Yellow beads, boring-er. 

Then he saw the perfect touch he wanted to add. A little gold bead with a tiny little black badger. Perfect, he thought, a badger for my badger. 

When your mother is Bellatrix Lestrange and your father is Voldemort, a lot of things will come easy to you. Magic, for instance, was something that Mattheo started to show signs of at around one year old. 

It was almost unheard of, but no one was really surprised. From what he’s told he was able to levitate his bottle to him whenever he wanted it. Since then most things would just come to him if he tried it or willed it. 

So why he was struggling so badly with making a simple bracelet out of string and beads he could not figure out. 

“Oh fucking hell,” he cursed out loud before trying to undo the last three knots that he had just realized were the wrong pattern for that line of color. 

Enzo tsked from across the room, “You still tryna work on that, Matt? You know their birthday is tomorrow.” Mattheo grumbled to himself getting up from his desk to go and punch his pillow a few times. 

“I’d say he knows, Berk,” Theo was laying out his uniform on his desk chair. “You do have a back up plan though right, Matty? I mean this as a friend who cares…you’re not finishing that tonight.”

Mattheo flopped down into his bed face first and screamed for five seconds straight. He then turned his head towards his friends, “I can buy them a hippogriff…they always talk about how that’s their favorite magical creature.” 

Enzo couldn’t control the bubble of laughter that left his throat as Theo quirked an eyebrow, “Mattheo…what would they even do with that? Where would they keep it? Just a hippogriff hanging in the Hufflepuff common room?” 

“They are the more nature loving house, Theo,” Enzo was biting his lip to stifle his giggles. Theo threw him a glare, turning back to Matty, “Where would they keep it over summers? Christmas holidays? Are they going to bring a hippogriff to their home in muggle London?!”

Enzo held out both of his hands in front of him, “Let’s not be too hasty, I definitely think Matt should get ‘em one. It’s a great idea.” 

Theo hopped of his bed, walking over to Enzo’s before giving the back of his head a good thwack! “Idiota de merda!” 

Enzo rubbed the back of his head with a grimace, “I’m getting tired of you sods bloody hitting me all the time.” Theo jumped back onto his own bed, “Then stop deserving it.” They started to lightly bicker back and forth, Mattheo just ignored them for the moment. 

Mattheo then glared at both of them, each boy turning away and mumbling something about it getting late and needing to go to bed. Mattheo followed suit, climbing completely under his covers and drawing his drapes.

He felt like a great weight was on top of him. Pressing him further and further into his bed. Squishing him down further into a pit reserved for the worst friends known to man and wizard kind. Maybe if he just succumbs to the darkness then he won’t have to wake up and disappoint you. 

He grabbed hold of the dragon you made him, holding it close to his chest and tucking it under his chin. He knew getting an actual hippogriff was a little crazy. But he could afford it, it wasn’t like it was out of his means. 

He tucked his face into his stuffed dragon, thinking again about how thoughtful and talented it was of you to make him the little stuffed animal. Then, right before sleep took over, a fantastic idea began consuming his thoughts. 

Mattheo slept through breakfast. He woke up with a start, covered in a sheen of sweat. He likely had a nightmare, of what he wasn’t sure. There were about three in rotation right now. 

In a rush he got ready and nearly sprinted to charms, getting to his seat beside you slightly out of breath. On the desk in front of him was a biscuit with jam. Gooseberry, his favorite. 

“Boys said you were sleeping when they left. Figured you might be late…and hungry,” you were smiling at him in that kind way that you do. He was thankful he ran that last bit to class as now you wouldn’t notice how intensely he was blushing. 

“T-thanks, but shouldn’t everyone be getting things for you today?” Mattheo had a shy smile on his face. You tilted your head slightly, he continued, “Because it’s your birthday. Erm. Happy Birthday, Y/n.” 

Your smile was unimaginably wide, “Thank you, Matty.” Flitwick entered the room from his office at the front, effectively silencing any conversation being had. 

The lesson went on in a fog, you studiously taking notes and Mattheo trying to figure out if he had enough time after potions and before lunch to grab your gifts from his room. 

Once Flitwick dismissed everyone, Mattheo walked you to your next class. “You didn’t have to do this, aren’t you going to be late to potions?” Your chest felt warm and you couldn’t stop smiling. 

Mattheo shrugged, “It’s your birthday, you deserve all the attention today.” You thanked him again before waving goodbye and entering your next classroom. 

As soon as your back was turned Mattheo started sprinting towards the dungeons. The only time he was thankful for his father being the Dark Lord was when it came to Professor Snape. 

Mattheo had been late to potions the most out of all of his courses this year. Each time Snape had given him a look, asked him to find his seat, but not taken any house points. Today had been the same. He did as asked, sitting next to Theo. 

“You figure out what to get your little badger?” Theo flicked his wand and ignited the flames beneath his and Mattheo’s cauldron. Mattheo nodded, “Yeah, gonna give it to them during lunch.” 

Theo continued to bug Mattheo throughout potions and the next lesson about what he ended up getting you. But Mattheo didn’t budge. He didn’t want anyone else to know your gift before you. He wanted it to be special, just like yours were to him. 

Mattheo told Theo he would meet him in the Great Hall, rushing back down to his dorm to grab your gift bags. When he finally made his way back up all the stairs, he found you sitting across from Theo and Enzo near the end of the Slytherin table. His rightful spot beside you free just for him. 

As he walked over he noticed two more gifts sitting in front of you. His face must have displayed his confusion as you happily clarified as he sat down, “Theo and Enzo got me gifts, isn’t that nice of them?” Mattheo turned to the other two boys. Theo wore a tight lipped smile, while Enzo showed all his teeth.

Mattheo sat both of his bags next to the others as you took the first small bag and began to open it. Theo sat up straighter, grin growing as you pulled out his gift. “Ice cream?” you asked, causing Theo’s face to turn up slightly in disgust. 

“Ice cream?? No, no, compagno, it is gelato! I don’t know if you know this, but I’m Italian, we do not eat ice cream. Would never let that monstrosity touch my tongue,” Theo fake gagged, sticking his tongue out. 

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, “Thank Merlin you told me. I couldn’t quite tell by your thick accent, so I’m glad you clarified.” A smirk adorned your face as Theo stuck his tongue out. 

“I owled mia mamma and she sent some over for me. There’s a chilling charm on it so it will always be cold, you don’t even have to put it in, erm,” Theo had his hand in front of him moving it in a circular motion, “como si dice…your cold box?” 

Enzo rolled his eyes, “The freezer.” You nodded in understanding, “Thank you, Theo. That’s so cool! Tell your mum thanks from me too.” Theo gave you a small nod as you grabbed the next bag. 

It was a little smaller than the first. You pulled off the top tissue paper to see what looked like a piece of ripped parchment. You held it up in front of you, staring at the blank piece of parchment. “Erm…thank you, Enzo.” 

Enzo displayed a toothy grin, shaking his head, “Turn it over.” You did as told, reading in small, sloppy scrawl, Coupon: good for two free flicks. You burst into a fit of laughter, holding your stomach. Mattheo had to shoot his arm out to catch you from falling backwards. 

“Care to share with the class?” Mattheo took the piece of parchment from you as you handed it over. “Good for two free flicks? Really Enzo?” Theo reached over the table, pulling a quill out of his back, “Let me notarize the back of this so he can’t go back on his word.” 

Enzo took the quill from Theo, signing below him, “I’m serious. You can use them whenever you think is necessary.” Mattheo and Theo rolled their eyes in sync. “Don’t use them all at once, I’d save them up if I were you.” 

Mattheo nodded, “Keep that parchment in a good place, I say make him wait a year or two and then go for the attack.” You took the ‘coupon’ back from Theo and folded it neatly, putting it in a safe pocket inside your bag. 

You went to grab the next gift, “These last two both from you, Matty?” He nodded shyly, “Em, yeah…Christmas and your birthday.” You beamed, beginning to take the tissue paper out of the bag before reaching inside. The first thing you pull is a pack of cauldron cakes. 

“Oh yum, my favorite, thank you Matty- Holy Helga is this…is this a little niffler?” You hold up the small stuffie of a baby niffler, turning it and showing it to the other two boys. Mattheo nods with a grin, “It has a little pocket in it’s belly like a real one. I figured you could keep your wizard money in there when you're on breaks or something.” He scratched at the back of his neck nervously. 

“That’s brilliant, thank you!” You grabbed for the second gift and Mattheo started unconsciously picking at his thumbs. You pulled out another stuffed animal, this one being, “A hippogriff? Mattheo…you didn’t!”

Theo huffed, “Be happy he did this, he almost bought you a real one.” Mattheo’s cheeks were instantly aflame. Enzo continued on, shrugging his shoulders, “I still think it would’ve been a good idea.” 

Mattheo cleared his throat, trying to distract from his friends, clearly trying to embarrass him, “Touch, erm, touch your wand to it’s tail.” You pulled your wand from your robe pocket, doing exactly as Mattheo told. 

No sooner did your wand meet the back of the hippogriff did its little stuffed wings begin to move, flapping up and down as the animal started lifting from the table, its head moving this way and that before touching back down to the table and becoming imobile once again. 

Mattheo always had a way to make you smile until your cheeks hurt. Today he had made your birthday one of the best you had ever had. “I-I don’t know if I can say thank you enough times for this, Matty.” 

The curly haired boy just shook his head, “It’s not as good as what you got me. I mean, Salazar's sake you made my gifts. I just bought these and put a simple flying charm on one. I tried to make you something but it, erm, I haven’t-”

“This is perfect, thank you,” you turned to Theo and Enzo, “all of you. Best birthday ever.” Enzo made the four of you cheers with your pumpkin juice, vowing that in a few years it’d be something stronger. You threatened to use one of your flicks almost immediately. 

Mattheo continued to try to work on his own friendship bracelet for you, any of the boys walking in on him at random times bent over his desk fiddling with colored string and randomly cursing. 

He became so determined that he frequently ignored Enzo’s requests to play exploding snap or Theo’s requests to play wizards chess. Mattheo just kept saying he was ‘busy’ or he ‘needed to just finish this one part’, frequently working until he couldn’t tell the strings apart and just decided to go to bed for the night. 

“Fucking finally! Ha!” Mattheo stood abruptly from his desk shouting in victory and causing Enzo to nearly shut his trunk on his fingers with a yelp. “Fucking hell, Matt, what is it?” 

Theo folded one of his sweaters and placed it in his trunk neatly before turning around, “Finally manage to make a bracelet, eh, Matty?” Mattheo walked over, proudly holding his creation for them to see. 

Enzo peered at it closely, “It looks…” Theo interrupted, “Perfect. It looks great, amico.” Mattheo nodded after getting his friend's approval, setting the bracelet on his night stand before going over to his closet, grabbing all of his things in a large pile and tossing them messily into his trunk. “There, all done,” he pretended to dust his hands off before going over to his bed and climbing in. 

He held his dragon close to his chest, whispering quietly to himself, “M’gonna have to hide you in my trunk over summer. Have to soak up the cuddles now little buddy.” 

The next morning was nothing short of chaos. Dozens of students in the slytherin common room shouting what they were still missing. Things like ‘accio scarf!’ Or ‘Has anyone seen a bag of marbles?’ could be heard across the expansive space. 

Mattheo ignored all of it as he, Theo and Enzo made their way from the common room to the main halls. Just as they left the common room entrance, Enzo stated that he forgot something in his trunk that he wanted for the train. 

Theo graciously, but not without eye roll, agreed to go back with him. Mattheo trucked on ahead, stating he was going to meet you by the great hall before heading to the boat docks. 

As expected, you beat him there, waiting by the large hall entrance for him. You were wearing muggle clothes, jeans and a relaxed t-shirt. Mattheo was dressed in very neat and very expensive wizard robes. “Don’t you look dashing,” your tone was teasing but you wore a smile as you said it. 

Mattheo’s face heated all the same, “And you look…comfortable.” You laughed, “More comfortable than you I assume. You going to a ball right as you arrive home?” The two of you began the walk and subsequent descent down the many many stairs to where the first year boats were docked. 

“Erm, no ball but this is what my mother believes proper pureblood wizards should wear all the time..” he trailed off a little shyly, pretending to be hyper focused on not falling down the last few stairs. 

Hagrid greeted you both kindly, sitting you in a boat with two ravenclaws before pushing it off the dock and towards Hogsmeade Station. “Welp, hope Theo and Enzo don’t kill us for leaving without them.” 

Mattheo shrugged his shoulders, “I’m sure they’ll find us eventually. Might as well enjoy the calm while we can.” You turned and looked behind you, taking a last glance at the castle for the year. 

“I’m gonna miss Hogwarts this summer. Do you think you will?” Mattheo watched you as you watched the castle, “Yeah, I’m gonna miss it a lot.” 

Once the boat docked Mattheo followed behind you on the platform and onto the Hogwarts Express. He didn’t understand why you were passing so many empty cars until you finally stopped and opened one. The same one you both rode to school in last September.

“S’gotta be tradition now, doesn’t it? Riding in the same car each year. Do you think we can manage it?” you sat on one of the car benches and kicked your feet up, stretching out. Mattheo thought about how early Feindre had gotten him to the train for his first year. It was likely always going to be that way. 

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” He sat down across from you, stuffing his hands in his pockets and pulling out a small envelope. “Hey, erm, I-I wanted to give you this before the others showed up. A going away present I s’pose.” 

You took the envelope from him, noticing your name printed across it in pointed and scratchy writing. “What is it? Oh, poo, I didn’t get you a going away gift,” you flipped the envelope over, pausing before opening it to pout slightly. 

Mattheo shook his head, “S’alright, not needed. Just..open this one and tell me if you like it.” 

You broke the seal, lifting the edge and peaking inside, “Is this what I think it is?” Your eyes suddenly grew wide as Mattheo gnawed on his bottom lip and shrugged. You opened your palm out flat, turning over the envelope. Out of it fell a black and yellow handmade bracelet with a single gold bead. 

“You made me a friendship bracelet?” Your voice was almost a whisper and you rubbed your fingers over the detail, holding it close to your face to inspect it. “Well…I made you a best friend bracelet. Now we match,” Mattheo’s voice sounded a bit small, but it was all the confidence he could muster. 

You shook your head with a smile, quickly turning over your wrist and attempting to tie it on with one hand. Mattheo picked at his thumbs for a moment before standing up and bridging the small space that was between the two of you, “Here lemme help.” 

His fingers fumbled slightly but he eventually was able to tie a knot correctly. You looked up from your wrist, meeting his eyes, “Thank you.” Mattheo held eye contact, “You’re welcome.” 

The train car opened with a slam, causing Mattheo to jump slightly before immediately sitting down on the bench beside you. You could feel the heat of his thigh on yours, but you didn’t say anything, Enzo’s mouth going a mile a minute with complaints. 

“I forget one bloody thing and you two go off and run to the train without us? You know Theo and I waited for like..five whole minutes at the Great Hall doors before saying screw it and just heading toward the docks. Only to see yet again that you two have left us.” 

Mattheo slumped back into the seat, “You’ve got to be kidding me, has he been like this the whole way?” Theo nodded, looking slightly exhausted, “You haven’t been listening to it for the last twenty minutes. Made us look in every train car window until we found you.” 

You looked around the car, laughing at your friend’s going back and forth at each other. Theo and Enzo started in at each other once again, causing you and Mattheo to make eye contact before bursting out in laughter. 

Mattheo smiled to himself. For the first time in probably his whole life, he would be confident in saying that at this moment, he was truly happy. For the next ten hours, he was determined to soak in as much of this happiness as he could, hoping it would last for the two months he would have to spend away from you.

[albertasunrise]

Work Wife - Six

Masterlist

Summary: Working as a Secretary at Miller & Sons Construction, you fall hopelessly in love with the eldest son Joel. What you don’t realise is that Joel’s completely in love with you too. What will it take for the two of you to realise whats’s right in front of you?

Pairing: Young Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to give any so the plot isn’t spoiled. This fic is 18+ (sorry this took a while… had a poorly baby to deal with! Hope it was worth the wait ♥️)

Series Masterlist - One Two Three Four Five

You sat with Sarah perched on your lap, the 9-month-old clapping as you sang along to Barney. The little girl was obsessed with the Giant Purple dinosaur, grunting and wriggling whenever he graced the TV.

She did not like Bananas in Pajamas or Elmo, finding them all rather alarming. Her face would crumple and she’d cry inconsolably until it was turned off and Barney was turned on.

“Not that damn dinosaur again baby girl.” Joel chuckled as he walked into the lounge “Haven’t you seen this episode before?”

“Probably.” You chuckled as you kissed the baby’s crown, humming at the feel of her settling against you.

“You okay, baby?” Joel asked and you smiled and nodded.

“Yeah… yeah I am.”

…

4 months earlier…

You hadn’t moved from your couch in days. Joel and his mum had been taking turns to take care of you, making sure you ate, bathed… breathed. You were a shell of your former self and Joel was losing his mind with worry.

He didn’t talk about Sarah with you. Didn’t bring her by despite your mum telling him it might help. He was just too terrified of losing you that he kept that side of his life away from you. Not knowing how you might react.

“Here.” He said softly as he placed some food on the table opposite you “Mum’s famous pumpkin soup and I got the sourdough bread you like. Drowned in butter just how you love it.”

“Thank you.” You whisper, allowing him to help you sit up and then gratefully accept the tray that he hands you. “You don’t have to keep coming here.” You say after taking a few bites of the delicious food he’d given you “Sarah needs you more than I do.”

“Mum’s with Sarah.” He says sweetly as he sits himself down beside you and digs into his portion of food.

“But she needs her dad.” You argued, “You should make the most of every moment with her.”

“Pip-“

“I don’t need your pity, Miller!”

“Pip, we’re worried about you!” He sighed “I’m not here because I pity you… I’m here because I love you and I swore to you that we’d get through this together.” He paused a while, scraping a hand over his face as turned to look at you.

“I’ll be okay, Joel.” You squeaked, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Yes, you will be." He agreed as he continued to eat his food "But in order for you to be okay... You need to eat." He finished, motioning at your bowl of food.

You didn't argue then. Returning to eating your food together in silence whilst the TV continued to play in the background. You truly, appreciated the help Joel and his mum were giving you. You knew that you weren't taking very good care of yourself. You didn't have the drive to do much more than wallow.

"How is Sarah?" You asked a little while later, your hands shaking a little as you placed your tray down.

"She's good." Joel answered with a smile "She's started to fake cough for attention which is hilarious. Keeps givin' mum a heart attack."

This brought a chuckle out of you and Joel tried not to look too excited about it. He hadn't heard you laugh in what felt like forever. You had a whistful smile on your face and it gave Joel hope.

"If you want to bring her here that would be okay." You said softly, and Joel gave you a sweet smile as he nodded.

"Thanks, Pip."

...

It was two weeks later that Joel finally brought Sarah around to see you. He had been anxious about how you would react to seeing her and so had decided to leave it a little longer before he did. You were sitting on the couch nursing a mug of coffee when he let himself in, Sarah's head whipping around as she took in her surroundings with her large brown eyes. Eyes she'd definitely inherited from her dad.

"Knock knock." Joel called out and you looked up and smiled at him, your eyes growing round and filling with tears as you saw Sarah in his arms.

Joel instantly started to panic when he noted the tears begin to trail down your cheeks but then you were at his side in an instant and pulling Sarah from his arms.

"Oh baby girl, I've missed you." You sobbed as you placed a long kiss on the crown of her head.

"I'll go make us more coffee." Joel said then, knowing you probably wanted some time alone with the baby.

You nodded, smiled at him then carried Sarah to the couch so you could sit. You rested her on your knee, grinning even harder when she gave you the sweetest little gummy smile.

"Look at you." You choked as you took her in "You've gotten so big."

Sarah screeched in delight and you let out a wet chuckle, knocking another few tears loose.

"God you're so beautiful." You uttered as you stroked Sarah's plump cheek with your thumb.

"Yeah, not quite sure how that happened." Joel chuckled and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Well her mum was gorgeous for a start." You grumbled, eliciting a smirk from Joel "But she looks so much like you."

"Poor kid."

"You're very handsome Joel." You stated so nonchalantly and Joel's cheeks heated at the compliment.

"Schucks." He chuckled, trying to wave off the compliment.

"What shall we do today?" You asked and Joel gave you a look of surprise before looking at Sarah who was happily snoozing on you.

"Well, what would you like to do?" He asked sweetly and you hummed as you thought about it for a moment.

"Did you take Sarah to the aquarium in the end?" You asked and Joel shook his head.

"No, I... I wanted to do that with you so it didn't feel right." His answer made your heart swell and you smiled sweetly at him.

"Okay. Then I say let's go to the aquarium today."

"Perfect!"

.

"You ready to see some fishies, Sarah Sue?"

Joel grinned at the silly nickname you had given his daughter.

"Do you want me to take her?" Joel asked and you shook your head.

"Nah I'm good. You stick to snapping the pictures, Daddy." You finished, winking at him.

Joel's length twitched in his jeans at your statement. He nodded, hoping the dim light of the aquarium hid his burning cheeks. He threw Sarah's baby bag into the pram and pulled out his camera.

Sarah was instantly taken with the fish. Giggling and smiling at the creatures as they flitted around their tanks. She would screech at the bubbles and grin at the sharks as they swam overhead when you walked through the glass tunnel and you smiled brighter than Joel had seen you in months. He took so many pictures of the two of you as you walked through the aquarium, grinning at how mystified Sarah looked as she watched a giant sea turtle swim overhead.

"Hey, want me to snap a picture of you and her together?"

"Oh, it's okay." Joel said nervously but you rolled your eyes and walked to his side.

"Here..." You said handing him the baby then taking the camera you took a few steps back and looked through the viewfinder to square up the shot "Say fishies." You grinned as you snapped a few photos.

"Thanks." Joel said as he handed Sarah back to you and grabbed the camera.

"You're welcome, Miller."

By the time you got to the end of the aquarium, Sarah was out for the count in her pram. Joel suggested lunch and you dragged him to an English pub you'd been wanting to try since Simon had mentioned it a few months ago.

"That burger looks incredible." You stated when Joel's food was placed in front of him and he nodded in agreement before eying up yours.

"Your chicken burger looks pretty damn good too."

You both took a bite of your food and hummed as the delicious flavours assaulted your senses.

"Good?" You both asked in unison before chuckling together.

"Wanna try some?" You asked and Joel nodded, leaning forward so he could take a bite.

You watched him as he did, thinking it was the most sensual thing you'd seen in months then chuckled when a little garlic mayo dribbled onto his chin. Quickly swiped it with your finger, you jumped when he grabbed your hand and wrapped his lips around the digit.

"That's good." He said and you came back to your senses, nodding in agreement "Wanna try some of mine?"

"Definitely."

You leaned towards him, biting into the juicy burger he held in front of you and hummed at the different flavours that hit you. Leaning back, Joel chuckles and you look at him with wide eyes as he leans toward you.

"Got a little something..." He trails off, cupping the back of your neck and pulling you towards him.

You get so caught up in his eyes that you don't see what's about to happen, but the moment his lips touch yours the trance is broken and you're pulling away.

"Don't." You say as you pull yourself out of his grasp and shuffle along the bench seat you're sitting on "Don't do that."

"I'm sorry I..." He's instantly panicking, his eyes wild as his eyes started to fill with tears "Shit... I completely misread this." He choked "Fuck..."

"Joel." You said but he continued to ramble and continued to panic. Sarah chose that moment to wake from her nap and scream bloody murder.

"Fuck." He growled as he pulled a premade bottle of formula from her cool bag.

"Let me sort it, Joel."

"It's fine." He said "Can you watch Sarah please." he pleaded before getting up and running to the bar.

His hands shook as he waited for the bartender to bring the hot water he requested. His heart felt like it was trying to pound its way out of his chest. Why had he thought kissing you was a good idea? He had got so caught up in the moment that he had just gone for it and now you probably hated him.

How the hell was he going to get himself out of this mess?

When he made it back to the table, you’d managed to calm Sarah down and you were singing to her sweetly as you rocked her from side to side. He watched you a moment with his daughter and his heart crumbled to dust. He couldn't lose you. If keeping you meant forcing himself to fall out of love with you then that's what he'd do.

It was for the best.

When he sat back down again you looked at him and opened your mouth to speak but his eyes morphed into those of a sad puppy and you stopped yourself.

"Can we just please forget it happened." Joel pleaded and your heart sank a little but you nodded.

"Sure."

You knew your reaction had hurt him but you just weren't ready yet. Your heart was still bleeding for the baby you had hoped to raise with him and the life you'd dreamed of sharing with him. You wanted to open yourself to him and today was the first time you'd felt at peace in what felt like a lifetime but you didn't want to skip any steps.

Joel handed you the bottle after checking the temperature on his wrist and you started to feed the ravenous Sarah, smiling sweetly at her as she watched you whilst she fed.

"Today's been wonderful." You said, breaking the tense silence "Thank you for this Joel." You finished as you looked at him and smiled.

"You're welcome Pip."

...

Joel smiled at you as he brought over your usual morning coffee. You had been back at work a week and each day you seemed to be a little brighter.

"How is my favourite secretary this morning?" He asked and you chuckled as you graciously took your coffee from him.

"She is good." You replied honestly and he grinned at you.

Not a word had been said about the incident at the pub and though it hurt you both not to discuss it, neither of you wanted to hurt the other. So the subject had been pushed to the side and forgotten. Or so each of you thought.

"I have a favour to ask you." Your eyebrow quirked at this but you said nothing as you waited for him to elaborate.

"Could you watch Sarah for a few hours this evening?"

Your interest was piqued.

"Hot date?" You asked, trying your best to sound unaffected by the idea.

"Yeah." He answered and your heart sank "With a 70-year-old woman and her son." He continued and you felt your lungs fill with air again "Guy's looking to do a huge refurb that includes a granny annexe extension. Dad was supposed to go but it's his and Ma's anniversary so he's asked me to go instead."

"That's huge Joel!" You gushed and he nodded as a smile crossed his lips.

"If I can win the contract it will be a really great payout."

"You will knock 'em dead." You said with a surety that made his heart skip a beat.

"So is that a yes?"

"You know I love an excuse to spend quality time with my girl."

"You're a life, saver." He said, leaning down to peck your cheek "Thank you."

You blushed, touching your cheek and remembering how his lips felt against it. You watched as he walked away, ducking into his office and grabbing the phone as it started to ring.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer."

Simon speaking beside you made you jump and you looked at him with an expression similar to a dear in headlights.

"I don't know what you mean." You replied, trying to brush his statement off.

"Oh come on hun..." He chuckled, leaning against your desk "I see the way you guys look at each other."

"We're friends."

"Friends who are in love with each other."

"Simon." You pleaded but he carried on.

"I know for a fact that he told you he loved you so what's the issue?"

"How?"

"How what?" He asked and you growled in frustration.

"How do you know that?"

Simon looked at his hands a moment before answering.

"He told me." He confessed and your brows drew together.

"When Sarah was sick, I went over to the hospital to see him and the baby." Simon's expression grew sad "His mum came and told him to get out for a bit. Clear his head so we went for a drink... six in his case."

You could see where this was going but you let Simon continue.

"He was heartbroken. Telling me how he'd confessed how he felt and you'd told him that you were no good for each other, which is bullshit by the way."

"We worked through that."

"Okay... so why aren't you guys together?"

"It's complicated." You answered.

No one knew why you'd been off work for a month and you weren't sure you wanted to share it around the office.

"How can it be?" He pushed "You love each other. So just be together... Something happen?"

"Simon please stop pushing this." You pleaded "It's between Joel and I."

"Look... I care about you both and I want you to be happy. And y'all are both happiest when you're together. So whatever it is that you or he did... fix it."

"I lost a baby." You said suddenly and Simon’s expression started to resemble that of a fish out of water "I got pregnant but I lost it."

"Was it...?"

"Joel's?" Simon nodded and you shook your head "No, the guy I had the arrangement with... was his."

"Shit, Pip I'm so sorry."

"I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself." You asked and Simon nodded "Joel and Mr and Mrs Miller know but that's it."

"I won't tell anyone I swear."

"Thanks, Si." You sighed “But that’s why we aren’t together… I need some time”

Simon didn’t need to say anything. He understood and his heart broke for you. So instead he gave your hand a squeeze and left.

...

You always knew when Joel had arrived in the office. The air seemed to change and your heart always raced as you waited for him to give you your morning coffee.

"Morning, Pip." Joel said sweetly as he placed your coffee down in its usual spot.

"Morning Joel..." You trailed off when your eyes locked with the young woman beside him.

"Oh... How rude of me." Joel chuckled "Pip this is Anna. She's our new trainee accountant."

"Oh?"

"Did I not tell you she was starting?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Shit, sorry Pip it must have slipped my mind. Sarah's had a cold so a little sleep-deprived." He chuckled "Do you mind giving her the tour? I have a call with the cement supplier in five minutes."

"Sure." You replied, trying to smile sweetly at him.

"He seems nice." Anna said and you nodded your agreement as you watched him leave.

"Yeah, he's great." You replied as you got to your feet, grabbing your coffee and taking it with you.

You started the tour by showing her the two meeting rooms, then moving on to the bathrooms, and offices, introducing her to the few people that were in the office and not on one of the sites. You finished off with the kitchen area, showing her how the utilities worked and where to find the communal coffee and tea.

"Any questions?"

"Just one." Anna replied as she smiled at you

“Shoot.”

"Joel."

"What about him?"

"He single?" She asked and your stomach twisted.

"I think so... why?"

"Just curious." She gave you a sly grin "I wanna climb him like a tree."

"He has a baby." You stated but she just shrugged.

"Make's him hotter in my opinion." She replied, grinning like the cat that got the cream "You and him involved?"

"No... No, we're just friends." You replied and she seemed to smile even wider.

"So he's fair game?" She asked and you fought hard not to cry.

"I guess so."

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[venusloveslobotomies]

HELLO !! it's me again~ (⌒▽⌒)☆

eeeh, sooo...maybe you could write some reverse comfort for kyle, butters and kenny?? i literally have no ideas for plot and all this stuff but i really ENJOY reverse comfort stuff. i mean it makes me happy when i make feel better other people, that's it! (＠＾◡＾) so i would be so happy if you could write something like this !!

so yeah it could be some kind of one shots or something??! just a lot of comfort, a lot of fluff ☆ ～('▽^人)

(oh gosh i LOVE kaomoji so much. no one can blame me for using it wahaha!)

hi my love! i tried my best! i hope you like it <33

Comforting Kyle, Kenny and Butters.

Kyle

"Hi Mrs Broflovski, is Kyle home?" "Oh hi, Y/N! Yes, he's home but he's not feeling well. He's in his room." Sheila opened the door wider for you as you walked in. "Thank you, I won't be too long." You gave her a smile and made your way to Kyle's room.

He hadn't been at class that day, which was rare for Kyle. Something had to be up. You knew that him and Stan weren't on great terms after asking Stan if he'd seen Kyle and he'd seemed almost offended that you'd asked him about Kyle.

Knocking on his door softly, you entered to see Kyle, red-eyed, sitting on his bed, staring at his phone. He quickly looked up and made eye contact with you. It took less than five seconds before his eyes filled with tears again and he turned away. "Kyle, what happened? Are you sick?" No response. You sat down next to him and waited for a moment. You knew he'd start talking once he had a moment to compose himself.

"Stans an asshole." He wiped his eyes quickly, "I keep trying to help but he'd rather wallow in self-pity and drink than actually listen to his best friend." His voice broke slightly when he referred to Stan as his 'best friend'. You softly placed your hand on his. "He'll come around. He always does. You know he's weird about stuff with Wendy." You could only guess that was why Stan was in a bad spot. They were so on-and-off you could barely keep up with when they were together and when they weren't. "But why am I always there for him and he always chooses the alcohol?" He leaned his head closer to your shoulder.

Your relationship with Kyle was somewhat undefined. In moments like these, you felt too close to just be friends but most of the time, he just treated you like any of the guys. In some selfish part of your mind, you always hoped that these moments would finally shatter that glass wall between the friendship and something more.

"And when I'm upset, everyone just expects me to deal with it alone." "Well, you're not alone right now. I'm here, I'll always be here." He looked at you with glossy eyes. You could see how exhausted he was, "You know that you can talk to me, and you know that Stan will work himself out. He's complicated. This is just how he is with the Wendy stuff. He'll probably grow out of it. Boys are dumb, y'know." He laughed a bit at the last part. He continued to watch you carefully before seemingly making a choice. He abruptly threw his arms around you and just started sobbing. You were a bit shocked, he'd never full-on hugged you before, let alone really, properly cried in front of you. You hugged him back, tightly and resolved to stay that way until he was ok.

Almost ten minutes later, his sobs had subsided into soft whimpers. Your fingers traced light patterns into his shoulders and back as you sat silently with him. "Thank you, Y/N. What the fuck would I do without you?" "Probably still be lame." You joked. He sat back slowly. Something in his eyes had changed. He suddenly didn't seem so tired. Arms still around each other, you could feel his breath on your cheeks, gently fanning you. You couldn't help but lean closer. Closer, until your lips were barely brushing. You were paralyzed, waiting for his decision. It took him just a moment to close the gap. When the two of you connected, it felt magical. How long had you been waiting for this? You could taste the tears on his lips but you didn't care. When you finally pulled apart, his cheeks were almost as red as his hair. "Feel better?" You smirked a bit and he pushed you away in a joking way. Despite the joke, you could see that the life in his eyes had returned and he was smiling.

Butters

"Screw you, Eric! And screw the rest of you, too. You all sit there and let him be as mean as he wants!" You looked up from the table you were sat at with Red and Bebe. Butters was standing up and yelling at his friend group. His face was red and he was just barely holding back tears. You watched him storm off. "I'll be right back." You stood and rushed off after him, ignoring the questions from your friends.

You burst through the doors of the canteen, frantically looking around for Butters. You caught his gaze as he was slumped against the wall, tears now falling freely. "What happened?" You quickly moved to him and grabbed his hands. "Nothing, Eric is just a terrible person." "No news there then. Why do you even hang out with him? He's awful to you!" He seemed a bit taken aback but that quickly changed. "He's my friend! I don't have your luxury of choosing whoever I want to hang out with! I'm not good at making friends... I never have been." "Leo, I'm your partner? Why don't you hang out with me and my friends?" You pleaded with him, reaching to wipe his tears with your sweater sleeves. "People will think I'm weird if I'm hanging around a bunch of girls all the time." You snorted a bit. "First of all, that's not the worst thing for people to think. Secondly, it doesn't matter what they think. The only opinions that matter are from people who actually care. Like me... shouldn't my opinion matter?" "Of course, Y/N. Your opinion matters to me more than anyone else." He seemed to have resigned himself to understanding you. You knew he would go back to hanging around Eric but for the moment, you could enjoy having your boyfriend to yourself.

You pulled him off to walk around the block and cool him off. When you finally returned to your original spot, you kissed him softly and ran your fingers through his hair. He smiled, still embarrassed at the affection being so public, but he didn't care. You were a true angel and if he was seen with you, nobody could say anything that would hurt him.

Kenny

Hearing yelling and glass crashing wasn't the most abnormal thing in South Park. However, hearing Kenny's voice was a bit of a shock. You checked the time. 11:37pm. What the hell is Kenny doing out on the street, yelling? Looking out your window, you could see him stumbling, with a broken bottle of whiskey in his hand. You were so confused, but you rushed downstairs anyways and out into the street. "What the fuck are you doing? Come inside!" You grabbed his arm with one hand and twisted the bottle out of his hand with the other, tossing it into the grass as you pulled him back towards your house. Once inside with the lights on, you could tell he'd been crying earlier but now he was angry. "What is going on with you? This area is too sketchy for you to be wandering around... drunk." He gripped your hand as you let go of his arm. "Y/N I'm gonna kill my parents." "Uhm, no. But also, why?" You guided him to sit on the couch. He fell clumsily into the cushions, pulling you with him. "My dad hit Karen again. So, I hit him. And then he started throwing shit at me. And my mom was just screaming at all of us. I hate them so much. My dad pushed me outside and locked me out." Struggling to find a comfortable position to sit without completely untangling yourself from Kenny appeared to be impossible, so you sucked it up and stayed with your legs draped over him and your back arched forward to keep holding his hand. "Okay, I kind of get it, but in terms of murdering someone, we're gonna have to sleep on it." He was still breathing heavily, eyes lit up with rage you'd never seen from your normally laid-back friend. You squeezed his hand, desperately trying to pull him back to reality. He squeezed back and his eyes softened slightly, meeting yours. Suddenly his hands were on your face and his lips on yours. You could feel him almost squishing your cheeks together in his drunken state. You kissed back, trying to be gentle. It didn't take too long for him to pull away, now looking somewhat scared. "Oh god, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I'm just... I'm tired but you're so perfect and I can't even think properly. I've wanted to do that for so long but not like this. You should've had a choice-" "Ken, it's ok. I liked it. I'm just sorry you're upset while this finally happened." You pulled his hood fully off his head and stroked his hair, smiling reassuringly. His eyes spilled tears and he hugged you so hard, your breath seemed to be pushed out of your lungs. "Hey... Ken? I... I can't breathe." He loosened his grip just enough to allow you to breathe again. You moved to sit fully on his lap and hold his head while he silently released all his emotions into your shirt. "I fucking love you. How are you so perfect?" You laughed a bit and felt him finally relax into your arms.

It didn't take too long for you two to pass out on the couch, still tangled together in a comforting embrace.

I hope u enjoyed! ive never really written comfort before so i did my best! idk whether yall like the longer oneshots that i accidentally write, so if shorter is better, please tell me!

[fafefae]

Apology Tour was really good because this time, instead of blitzo brushing someone else off, he's the one getting brushed off. and i think blitzo getting brushed off will come back.

because yeah. he fucked up bad with a (comedic) amount of people, but he is actually trying with stolas here.

i think it was said in the description on yt, but "stolas isn't self aware" in this episode, or really at all regarding the relationship with blitzo, but blitzo has actually tried to make a change here. he's actually tried to talk about this with stolas now, seeking him out at the party and pulling him aside and going "hey, we need to talk"

he WANTS to change. but now with verosika telling him that "if he wants to change, he'll let stolas move on", blitzo won't try to talk to him again and will wallow in self pity to extreme measures. we are going to see how blitzo copes with all of this in these next episodes and it is going to be ugly. but if he does follow verosika's advice and leaves stolas alone, that's proof that he does love stolas, he respects stolas as a person, and that he wants to change for him (or at least, change enough so that he doesn't lose another person he really really does care about like this)

if stolitz is going to happen, stolas needs to change too. he's aware of the power imbalance between him and blitzo, but his way of dealing with it is ignoring it and trying to act like it doesn't exist. and the thing is, stolas himself likely won't make a change until he realizes that "yes, there is a power imbalance here", and that power imbalance and lack of acknowledgement/ignorance on stolas' part is directly affecting blitzo's willingness to commit to the relationship.

"don't think of me as a prince, because i think of you as my equal"

"but you are a prince and im not your equal and how am i supposed to trust that you won't take advantage of the power imbalance if you won't even acknowledge it"

but since stolas won't even listen to blitzo when he's telling him that the power imbalance exists and that its something blitzo is really worried about,,, i wonder what will have to happen to make stolas see that it does exist, and that ignoring it like he's been doing isn't going to work for him either.

[prime-adeptus]

it’s so sweet, knowing that you love me

Everything feels better when Genji is with you.

( genji shimada x gender-neutral reader | ~0.8k words )

content: emotional hurt/comfort, some fluff, established relationship (can be read as either romantic or platonic, whichever you’d prefer :)) genji loves u <3

etc: divider by cafekitsune; tagging @angelshub @bitchcraftinc @enchantedforest-network @ghostqueue; cross-posted on ao3

“I have not seen you around recently.”

You look up to find Genji leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. Quite some time has passed since you first met him. If you were younger, you would’ve jumped out of your skin at his unexpected arrival, but you didn’t. Instead, you didn’t bat an eye, far too jaded to be surprised by anything anymore.

“I’ve been busy,” you say.

Your words feel practised, dishonest, though they aren’t entirely false. Between the increasing Null Sector attacks and the pressure Soldier: 76 has been putting on you, time has felt like it’s been slipping out of your hands. You wish you could be as uplifting as Lena, or maybe as relaxed as Cassidy. It’s never been in your nature to relax, you suppose, having been raised in a disciplinarian family. Yet here you are, curled up in your blankets as you wallow in self-pity, looking the most pathetic you ever have in front of him. 

He doesn’t seem bothered by it, something you can’t decide whether to feel thankful or upset about. Guilt begins to seep into your system as he takes a seat on the edge of your bed. As if he can sense your spiral into pessimism—he probably can, he’s known you for long enough—he laces his fingers with yours, the metal cool against your skin.

A beat of silence passes.

“Genji?” 

He hums, waiting for you to continue.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t like him seeing you in such a state. Genji caresses the back of your hand with his thumb, seemingly lost in thought for a moment. It’s hard to discern what he’s thinking. He’s been keeping his mask on more frequently, just out of habit, but a part of you wishes you could just see his eyes on you one more time.

“I know you didn’t mean to ignore me,” he speaks up, turning his head in your direction. “But I have missed you. That’s why I came here.”

You manage a weak smile. “I missed you too.”

“Cassidy has been asking for you as well.” There’s an amused lilt in his voice. “He said it’s sad not having his favourite sharpshooter around.”

That gets a chuckle out of you. “His favourite sharpshooter?”

“Yes. And mine too.”

Heat rises to your cheeks at how easily he says it. The fact that he’s holding your hand isn’t helping much, either. Still, it amazes you how a simple two words can make you feel the lightest you’ve ever been. You missed this. You missed him.

“Don’t say it like that,” you mumble, flustered. “I’m trying to mope, Genji.”

“I am not allowing it.” He lets go of your hand and you’re already missing his touch, your bottom lips slightly jutting into a pout at his sudden movement. It doesn’t last long, though, now that he’s shifted his position so he’s laying his head on your lap. “And I was only telling the truth.”

“Shut up.” There’s no actual malice in your words. Even without your other hand coming down to cup the side of his face, you think he knows that very well too. “You can’t just come in here and get me all soft and mushy, you know. You’re so mean.”

“I am mean?” he retorts in mock offence. “I tell you that I miss you, but I am mean.”

“Yeah. The meanest.” You giggle, bringing his hand up to your lips to press a gentle kiss on it. With a pleased sigh, you feel your worries ebb away and let yourself sink into the comfort he brings you. “I’ll probably come back tomorrow. I’m feeling better anyway—”

“You will come see me first, yes?”

You playfully nudge his head away, avoiding his gaze again because somehow it’s like second nature for him to make you feel this way. Like you’re a blushing protagonist of a romance story. In a last ditch attempt to keep your cool, you clear your throat and say in the most deadpan tone you can muster.

“Actually, I think I’ll see Winston first.”

“You would prefer him over me?” You can practically hear him sulking. “And you say that I am mean.”

You find yourself smiling at how natural it feels to fall back into this kind of rhythm with him despite all your setbacks and isolation. It makes your heart swell in joy, being cared for and understood by someone like him. 

“Hey, get up,” you urge him gently. He does so without question, though he still tilts his head at you curiously. You scoot forward, finally leaving the mass of blankets to throw yourself in his arms, pressing a kiss to where his cheek would be. “I love you, Genji.”

He lets out a content sigh. “I love you too. You don’t have to push yourself so hard.”

You fall into a comfortable silence. In the embrace of the one you love, you’re slowly lulled to a peaceful slumber until he speaks up again, this time sounding genuinely concerned.

“But you will come see me first tomorrow, right?”

Your laughter is all he hears.

[thelittleangel]

Blind Date

tags: Castiel x male reader, fluff, angst, male reader,

warnings: possible OOC, angst, reference to past relationships that weren't great, reader gets stood up.

taglist:@agroovygoose @pumpkinhead666 @waywardseraph @wraith-posts

Part 2

When I agreed to do this, I didn't think there’d be this much waiting.  I thought he would have been here by now.  But sitting at the restaurant for thirty minutes seemed to me like he wasn’t coming.  

I made a deal with myself to wait another ten minutes and if he didn’t show up, I was going home.

Another five minutes, I sat, tearing up napkins.  

Three minutes pass.

“Screw it.” I mutter.

I grab my coat, dropping 5 bucks on the table.

On my way to the door, I bump into someone.  Turning to say “excuse me.”, my eyes meet with a familiar shade of blue.

“Hello.” 

“Hey, Cas.  What are you doing here?”

“Dean asked me to pick something up.  What are you doing here?”

“Nothing anymore.”

His lips shape into a frown.  “What’s nothing?”

“One of my friends set me up on a blind date.”

“How did it go?”

I breathe out a heavy sigh. “It didn’t.”

“He didn't show up?”

I shake my head.  He looks at me with what I guess is pity, and then back at the tables.  

“I’m sorry.”

I smile at him and shake my head.  “Don't be, it's not your fault.”

“May I sit with you?”

I look at him in confusion.  “Aren’t you picking something up for Dean?”

He smiles gently at me, “it can wait.”

I smile back at him, “Pie?”

He nods. “Pie.”

He gestures to the table I was just sitting at.  I look at the table and then back at him, “you sure?”

He nods.

I walk to the table, setting my stuff down.  He sits across from me.  We just watch each other awkwardly.  I don’t know what to say to him and I doubt he knows what to say to me.  I look down at my hands.  

“Why do you go on these dates?”

I breathe out a sigh.  “I honestly don’t know anymore.  I never have any luck, and when I do hit it off with someone, they never contact me again.  And I don't know if it's me or if it's just….”

We sit in silence for a moment, and I lean back into my seat, wallowing in sadness and self-pity.

“Can you look at me for a second?’

I look up at him, sure that I’m going to get some kind of stern expression and aggressive words to stop with the pity party.  And I know he wouldn’t do something like that, but it’s just a common occurrence that I've learned to expect from everybody.  But no, his expression is kind, his eyes are gentle.

“Even if you don’t can’t find someone who will love you right away, please don’t give up hope.  There are still people out there who care about you.”  

“I don’t really have a lot of people in my life, Cas.”

“You have Dean, and Sam, and you have me.  You have your friends.  Your family.  You’re not alone.”

“It feels like I am sometimes.”

“Because no one’s interested in you romantically.”

“Yes.” 

“How do you know that’s the case?”

“Because they never make an attempt to contact me after the first date, so I'm just left to wonder what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.  You just haven’t found the right person.”

I look down at my hands again.  He covers them with his own.  I look up at him again.  There’s sympathy there.  

I squeeze his hand and then let go.  I grab my stuff and head out.  

As I'm walking to my car, I hear footsteps behind me.  I turn and I see Cas.  

I force a smile onto my face.  “Hey Cas.  What’s up?”

He looks nervous.  I unlock my car and open the door.

“Before you left, I wanted to give you something.”

“What is it?”

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other.  “It’s a surprise.  I’m going to have to ask you to do something strange.”

I can feel my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.  “Like what?”  

He looks away.  “I need you to close your eyes.”

“Are you sure you can’t just tell me?”

He looks back up at me, his expression serious.  “I’m sure.”

I sigh, closing my eyes.

I hear a shift, like he’s moving, maybe adjusting his coat.  He takes a step.  

I shift from one foot to the other.  Waiting. 

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I jump from the sudden and unexpected touch.  “Cas, what are you-”

His hand moves to my face, his thumb brushing my eyelashes gently.

He takes a step closer.

I feel his lips brush mine.

My eyes open wide, and I take a step back, but I realize it's all for nothing, because there’s no one in front of me.

[bibliophilesince2003]

Ninjago... Dead or Not Dead?

I'm here to discuss whether "new" Ninjago is better than "old" Ninjago, or vice versa. I see so many opinions float around, and some comments people make are extremely harsh or confusing. For my own claims, don't worry, I'll back them up with evidence and genuine consideration.

I would like to start by saying that I started watching Ninjago when it first came out in 2011. I was around 8 years old at the time. My younger siblings soon became invested in the show, and we watched it together. There are seven seasons total that I would consider "old" Ninjago that aired from 2011-2017. About a year later, what I would call "new" Ninjago aired with seasons 8-15. Dragons Rising is the current Ninjago show.

I have almost finished Dragons Rising. So, yes, I am aware of all the little details and therefore ready to provide my own thoughts. I am an old Ninjago fan at heart and grew up with the show, but if I'm to have an opinion about what's new I might as well know what I'm talking about.

New Ninjago fans say that old Ninjago fans are "blinded by nostalgia" and old Ninjago fans say that new Ninjago fans don't understand the point of the show.

Ok, first of all, is "old" Ninjago perfect? No, of course not. The fight scenes are extremely slow at times. The animation? Less detailed. As a kid, I didn't really care. As an adult, sure, it's painful to watch. However, animation is such a small part of any show, and there is more to life than things that are aesthetically pleasing, especially when it comes to criticism. On a deeper, plot-centered level, "old" Ninjago surpasses "new" Ninjago. You cannot watch "old" Ninjago and tell me that the plots aren't creative and exciting, with a good balance of humor, brotherhood, and pain. "New" Ninjago, for the most part, was pretty decent and added depth to the characters. I liked Lloyd's new voice actor. Some aspects of "new" Ninjago irked me, like Kai's lack of emotion when Nya quite literally became one with the ocean, Kai losing his powers yet again and wallowing in self-pity, or Cole becoming more and more of an insignificant character with few lines, save season 13.

The biggest thing, though, was lack of creativity and a shift in character development that is unneeded or backwards. Characters can develop, sure, but they shouldn't be an entirely new personality without cause. The ninja were extremely weak or extremely overpowered. In reality, they should remember most of what they've learned and continue to grow.

Dragons Rising is - pardon my aggression - a piece of crap. Now, I think it had promise in the beginning, and I was excited with the introduction of new characters.

Arin and Sora have distinct personalities and interesting backgrounds. It went downhill pretty quickly. I dislike Wyldfyre with a passion. A Kai and Skylor alliance would have been better. Not only does Wyldfyre act like she's consumed ten energy drinks, but she's wrecked Kai's personality. Their banter is humorous and realistic, but shouldn't Kai know how to handle an impulsive person? Lloyd was practically their little brother in "old" Ninjago. Kai was impulsive and confident in his own actions, perhaps even a little "mean" to Lloyd when Lloyd needed a serious wake up call, but he never purposefully put Lloyd in danger. He was willing to take the hit in a lot of situations. Now, we see him running away screaming his head off while Wyldfyre is throwing hands. Kai... you've faced worse than a giant rock monster, buddy. The humor in Dragons Rising makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes. I get it's a kid show, but they could do better. "Old" Ninjago had some pretty grim details, but there was always a ray of hope or humor that just made sense in the moment. Mainly, the ninja being true brothers and absolutely roasting each other. In comparison, the humor in Dragons Rising is forced and cliche.

"Why would you touch the scary painting, Jay?"

"I didn't know it would do that, Cole!"

Compared to...

"I guarantee the sewers won't have any security."

*cut to them being chased*

"I was wrong!"

I'm not saying that "old" Ninjago doesn't come with its own share of cliche humor, I'm just saying that it's significantly less compared to Dragons Rising. It's also sprinkled, not dumped.

So, Arin and Sora get the spotlight, and the ninja seem to weaken more and more every day.

If you're a new Ninjago fan, I can see why Dragons Rising wouldn't bother you, though I would question your sanity if you found the cliche humor even remotely funny every single time. But the ninja aren't themselves. "Old" Ninjago gave us characters with exaggerated personalities for a reason, and "new" Ninjago provided some interesting plots with improved animation. "New" Ninjago is where it should have ended, and Dragons Rising can rot for all I care. The more I see Dragons Rising ignore or discount previous lore, the less I want to give it a chance.

[elliespassagerprincess]

If you’re still doing song requests I’d love if you can do bad dog by Rosie ugly it’s so loser Ellie core

Bad dog - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! firstly yes this song is so loser ellie and secondly i've never heard about Rosie before and their music slaps... i hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Bad dog by Rosie! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: angst.

Summary: in which you treated her like a bad dog

authors note: so i left again and im so sorry, anyways my person life has been kak (that's a word in afrikaans lmao, it describes my emotion the best) but I've arrived and here to spam.

masterlist

Sometimes I feel like your lover

Savor salt while I'm there

But it feels like I'm drowning in the thick heavy air

And I'm only your souvenir

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

you made her feel like a fucking dog.

A dog that has disappointed it's owner and that gets sent outside to wallow in self pity.

Sometimes you made her feel loved, you made her feel like she's the only girl alive. You made it seem like you would fucking die for her but today you made her feel like a dog.

Ellie doesn't know why she feels so hurt, you did this so often. She should be used to this.

The air surrounding you, Ellie and Dina was tense.

It was suffocating.

Ellie and Dina has been friends for years, but as soon as you came into the picture suddenly all the friends Ellie had drifted towards you.

Everyone loved you.

Who wouldn't? You were perfect. There was something about you that drew people, and Ellie loved that about you.

Ellie became a shell of herself. The once loud and confident Ellie Williams became a fucking loser who follows you like a shadow.

Your laugh filled the air, as Dina told a cringe dad joke, Ellie quietly sat watching the two of you.

Your words from earlier that day made her feel sick.

"Just because we fuck, doesn't mean we're something. We're really not anything but fuck buddies. Stop trying, you're pissing me off"

stop trying.

stop trying.

stop fucking trying.

Your presence made her so excited. Just smelling your perfume had her giggling.

How could she stop trying if you were the very reason for her existence?

She couldn't focus on the what Dina had to say, your laugh was mocking her.

Your harsh words were still replaying in her mind. They were suffocating her.

stop trying.

She meant nothing to you.

She should stop trying to win your love. You literally told her to stop.

Even though you made her feel like a fucking dog, the love she felt for kept her going and Ellie wasn't willing to give up.

Remember that song that you wrote me

It wakes me up in the morning

And it feels like I'm drowning in the memories I've been avoiding

And I cannot stop destroying

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

Jesse told Ellie that you didn't deserve her love. He said that you were missing out on the best relationship of your life.

Jesse was right. Ellie knew she couldn't keep following you around, she knew she should stop hoping you'd fall to your kness and tell her how much you love her.

No, she had to face reality.

He was right.

All Ellie had to do was to go to your apartment and she had to tell you to fuck off. But when she tried she suddenly lost her ability to speak.

As soon as you smiled at her and asked "what's wrong baby?"

She couldn't.

She couldn't break her heart like that.

How can someone say something so hurtful and pretend like it didn't happen? You told her she meant nothing but yet you're calling her baby?

You were a fucked up person.

She wanted to hate you, but she couldn't.

Dogs are loyal to their owners. She wasn't going to leave. She was pathetic. A loser.

A loser who believes a girl who didn't see her as more than a fuck buddy would love her.

Ellie hopes you'll fall for her.

She hopes you listen to love songs and that you'd think of her.

Maybe the memories the two of you have created would consume you. Maybe you'd finally fall for her.

She tries to forget those memories, but she can't. The thought of you kills her.

You showed her love. You fucking cared for her when she was sick.

Surely it all wasn't platonic.

Maybe deep down you love her. Maybe you making her feel like shit was all apart of your plan to suppress your feelings for her.

Everything is a possibility at this point.

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

Ego dying

Loner island

I untied when

We went silent

Showed my colors

Stained the carpet

Not another

Fucking artist

Ellie is a puzzle.

She's incomplete without specific pieces.

Without her guitar, she felt empty. Without Joel she was lonely. Without you she felt like she had no purpose.

No matter how complicated Ellie was, no matter how fucked she was in the head you'd always show her love. Her dark thoughts went quiet, and her once dull life was filled with color because of you.

Ellie started drawing again after she quit years ago because you convinced her to try again.

You were the reason for her very being at this point. That's why she held on for so long. That's why she couldn't let go even though you made her feel like shit.

Ellie thought that she was going to stay in this toxic cycle for the rest of her life, and yes she would've if that meant a life with you.

But one day she woke up and everything around her was dull. There was no more color. No more excitement. When she was around you she felt tired. Drained.

You showed her the world but you destroyed it too.

She hated everything.

As much as she loved you she's had enough.

She has to take Jesse's advice and do what's best for her.

Here Ellie sat in front of the love of her life, telling you that this wasn't going to work.

"Ellie please" she heard your voice plead.

"I love you" Ellie muttered

"prove it" you said, frustration building up in you.

"Stay"

"I can't"

You were almost in tears. You were losing someone who helped you. You didn't love Ellie but she was of convince, she was there when you needed a quick fuck.

If she was just a quick fuck, then why does this hurt so much?

"Ellie if you love me you would stay"

"I love you i truly do, but i love myself too much to let you treat me like a bad dog"

<3

my pookie (the taglist): @hellorai

[formula1fanfiction]

Lewis Hamilton / Lance Stroll

Title: Oh, so there will be a next time?

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton / Lance Stroll

Characters: Lewis Hamilton, Lance Stroll

Prompt: I would love a fic about Lewis Hamilton x Lance Stroll. A bit of tenderness and smut. Bottom Lance Stroll.

"Hey, Lance. Just wanted to check you were okay, after your crash?" Lance raises an eyebrow, of all people knocking on his trailer door, he didn't expect it to be Lewis Hamilton.

"Physically I am, fine you can leave now." Lance makes a shooing gesture with his hands. Why can't he just be left alone to wallow in self pity. "But not mentally?" Lewis leans again the door of the motor home.

"No, not that it's any of your business, the rest of you don't understand how hard it is for me. Every little mistake I make, it's always he's no good, he's only here because Daddy pays for his seat. It just gets brushed away when it's everyone else." Lance's anger fades away, to sadness and he can't stop the rogue tear falling down his cheek. "Sorry for crying, it's just really frustrating."

"I think you're pretty amazing." Lewis cups Lance's cheek and the younger one can't help but lean into it. Lewis steps into the room, then kicks the door closed behind him.

"What do you actually want Lewis?" Lance's eyes widen as Lewis' eyes meet his own, then flash towards his lips. Lance really shouldn't have been caught by surprise, he was half expecting it but he gasps into Lewis mouth as their lips meet. It's a soft, gentle kiss their lips lazily moving together. Lance enjoys it much more than he though, especially when Lewis' tongue, pushes inside of his mouth and explores.

"What's going on Lewis? Is this going somewhere?" Lance catches the smirk on Lewis' face, his hands move from his back, and squeezes his arse through his shorts. "Do you want it to?"

"Yes." Lance squeals because at that moment, Lewis pushes him back onto the bed. Lewis jumps up on bed, covering Lance's body with his own and presses his mouth against Lance's for the second time. The kiss isn't passionate or hard just a soft sensual kiss, while the two of them have their mouths locked together Lewis traces the outline of Lances' jaw and lightly squeezes his cheeks. He breaks away with a smile. "I enjoy kissing you."

"I was hoping you were going to fuck me, not keep kissing me." Lance jokes, reaching over for the small tube of lube he leaves on his night stand. "I think you need to be naked for that." Lewis jokes pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers while Lance uses the time to take of his clothes, only laying down once fully naked.

Lewis settles himself in between Lance's wide spread legs and soothingly strokes his thigh as he pushes the first finger inside. "That feel, okay?" Lance gives a little nod, gasping as Lewis twists his finger. There isn't too much resistance, he wastes no time in adding a second one.  

"You take my fingers so well" Lewis soothes his hands down Lances's toned thighs and started to move the fingers in and out of him. Lance can't help but groan, Lewis is so talented with his fingers.  

Eventually Lewis has four fingers inside and thrust in deep enough to rub over Lance's prostate, giving him a little reward for taking his fingers so well, although it's becoming more annoying than romantic at this point and Lance is about to ask for cock, when Lewis slides his fingers out. "I think you're ready for me."

"I think i've been ready for a while." Lewis chuckles, pulling away from Lance to pull off his pants and boxers, before rolling on a condom.

"I want you on your back, I want to look at you while I fuck you." Lance wraps his legs around Lewis' waist. "Come on then, give it to me." Lewis takes his hard cock into his hand, giving himself a few light strokes before pressing himself against Lance's hole and pushes inside.

"I just want to make you feel special." Lewis pants, peppering kisses over Lance's face as he gives him an inch at a time. Lance can barely concentrate on anything other than the burn in his arse hole, it feels amazing.

"Fuck." Lance throws his head back into the mountain of pillows as Lewis finally bottoms out. He stalls, giving Lance plenty of time to adjust. "Fuck Lance, you feel so good." Lewis groans as Lance clenches and unclenches around him, he's more than ready just to get going now.

"I'm ready Lewis." Lewis gently squeezes Lance's hips and starts to move. Lewis sets a steady ready, not too hard but he thrusts deep, filling up Lance completely without hurting him anyway, Lance has never felt so amazing, so full.  He wants to beg for more but at the same time it's nice having someone treat him so tenderly.  

Lance isn't expecting the kiss this time, just a soft one against his lips. "You deserve this Lance, you are so special, I just want you to feel so special, fuck you how you deserve." That's the moment, Lewis hits his prostate and waves of pure pleasure rush through his body, it feels amazing, he needs more of that.  

"More, please more." Lewis chuckles, angling his thrusts to hit his prostate for a second tome. Lance groans, fisting the bed sheets, arching up his hips to meet Lewis'  as he continues to hit his prostate with every thrust.

"Fuck, fuck feels good." Lewis presses their forehead together, their eyes locking together. "You're so beautiful Lance, the whole world should appreciate you." Lewis slides his hand down Lance's stomach and grabs his cock, stroking him to the same pace as his thrusts.  

Lewis really knows how to make Lance feel amazing as he  massages his balls while he filling him with the deep thrusts, a little bit harder but harder now, still hitting his prostate with every thrust. Lance mewls as his orgasm takes over "fuck, Lewis" Lance cries out as he comes all over his own stomach and Lewis hand.

"I'm so close Lance." Lewis fucks Lance through the waves of his orgasm, as he searches for his own. He speeds up his thrusts a little bit, not too hard just more erratic. He's so close, he only manages a few more thrusts before his hips stutter and come to a stop. He groans loudly, as he comes into the condom, Lance can feel the warmth of it through the condom.   

Lewis eases his cock out of Lance's hole and collapse down at the side of him. Lance props himself up on his elbow and looks over at the older man. "What was that all about, George on his period or something?"

Lewis chuckles. "No, I knew you were feeling down and just wanted you to feel special, I hope I did make you feel special." Lance smiles, he feels a little warm and fuzzy inside.

"As nice as it was, you don't have to fuck me like i'm a damsel in distress next time." Lewis smirks. "Oh, so there is going to be a next time?"

[blueshistorysims]

November 17, 1922, London England

Giselle set the newspaper down and turned to her lover, who was still reading it. “Why the fuck do I find out everything about my brother’s love life from the London Daily Times?! I can’t believe it.”

“The divorce or that he didn’t tell you?”

“Oh, anyone with common sense could see the divorce coming from a mile away the moment Byron became Duke of Feldsbury. I feel for Stella, but my lord, this is not something you keep secret from your own goddamn sister!”

Without a second word, she stood and marched over to the telephone, telling the operator to connect the line to her brother’s phone and waited for someone to pick it up. After several rings, the phone finally answered, and she heard a heavy sigh.

“Yes?” Her brother’s voice asked tiredly.

“Am I going to have to find out about all of your romantic excursions through the fucking newspaper, Byron?”

He sighed again. “I’m sorry. It completely blanked my mind.”

Giselle paused, her annoyance melting away from how sad he sounded. “You sound awful.”

“I feel awful too.”

“...Look, I was going to yell at you about you being a right idiot… come to London. Stay with me and Francesca for Christmas. Mama will be here, and most of the house is finished with renovations. Being alone in a big house won’t do you any good. And I won’t take no for an answer.”

Henford-on-Bagley, England

Giselle was kinder to him than he deserved. In his wallowing self-pity, he’d ignored everyone that he didn’t have to legally speak to. He moved into Walshstone Park quickly, leaving the remains of Stella’s things in trunks in the empty ballroom, gathering dust as he had yet to hire permanent servants. Someone other than his soon-to-be ex-wife would come to pick them up so they wouldn’t have to see each other. As far as he knew, she was already back in America living in her old apartment with Toussant. He missed the cat. 

The doorbell rang loudly, shaking Byron from his thoughts. He sighed and set the bottle of wine he’d been holding on one of the trunks before walking to the foyer and opening the door. He’d expected it to be a moving company or at least an acquittance of Stella’s, but to his surprise, he saw Samson Gardenhouse standing in front of him. 

“Samson?”

“Hello, Byron.” He stepped inside. “Nice house. Heard you used to be in a castle.”

He swallowed. “It was too expensive. Stella sent you to get her shit?”

He nodded. “She thought it’d be better if Thaddeus or me did it since we’re friends. …She doesn’t want to hurt you any more than she has to.”

“She should’ve thought of that when she fucked Campbell and left me,” he answer bitterly.

Samson frowned. “I’m sorry, Byron. I really am.”

“Will there be people coming tomorrow then?”

“Yeah.”

He huffed. “...Well, want anything to drink? Lord knows I have plenty of that.”

Samson shook his head, eyeing the stairs behind the Brit. “Would you rather have sex?”

Byron was quiet for a brief moment. “Yes.”

“You’re depressed,” Samson said as they basked in post-sex haze. It wasn’t an accusation or question. It was a statement.

“Who wouldn’t be in my situation?”

“Fair enough. …How does it feel to become a duke and get divorced in the same year?”

“Feels like bloody shit. I’ve been Duke of Feldsbury for about seven months, and I’ve already been in more scandals than most peers in their whole lifetime.”

He laughed. “It’s only been seven?”

“Imagine how I feel.”

“I can guess.”

Byron sighed. “I’m 27, I’m a fucking duke, I’m divorced, and I’m known to say republican sentiments in the House of Lords. No one in the hoity-toity British aristocracy likes me.”

“You’re also a decorated army captain, you hold two master's degrees, and a doctorate, and you speak almost twenty languages.  I can barely speak English.”

He leaned on Samson’s shoulder and smiled. “God, don’t with the flattery.”

“I think the problem is, Byron, is that you don’t have friends here in Britain. You’re lonely, and instead of doing the things you enjoy, you’re sulking and shut in your house.”

“I have friends.”

“Who?”

He was quiet for a minute. “...One of my neighbors’ daughter. …But I haven’t spoken to her in a few months.”

“Of course you haven’t.”

“I’m walking scandal, Samson. It’s different here in England.”

“Then associate yourself with people who don’t care that kind of stuff.”

“...You’re much smarter than me, Samson. I may have all the degrees, but my social smarts could be greatly improved upon.”

He smirked. “And what happened to the guy who went to jazz parties, screwed a new person every week while still writing their dissertation?”

“I got married,” He answered truthfully.

Byron closed his eyes as Samson looked away. 

“Byron?”

“Hmm?”

“I think this will be the last time we will have sex.”

“Unfortunately, I’m inclined to agree. It doesn't feel right.”

beginning/previous/next

[a-rabid-snake]

Hey Snake. I’ve deliberately tried to stay out of the recent drama with Piku_Niku, but it seems to be petering out now that you’ve apologized. So I just want to say something.

I don’t think you’re a terrible person. What you did was wrong, and you don’t need me to tell you that. But you have apologized. You are clearly remorseful. Past actions are in the past, and it seems you’ve mostly amended them. So Id just like to request you stop beating yourself up over it.

Those words are not who you are, nor do they have to be. You can work to improve, and I like to think you’ve set on trying. I’m proud of you for apologizing, and I imagine some others are to. Now you have to figure out how to be better.

I don’t know, honestly, I’m just worried about you Snake. I don’t want you to hate yourself. I don’t think you should hate yourself. You should be angry and disappointed, but wallowing like you seem to be isn’t helpful. This quarrel doesn’t have to be who you are, and you have already taken the first step to making that so.

Im sorry, this is probably incoherent. And you probably think you don’t deserve anyone to defend you. But… I care about you Snake, and I want you to be better. I want you to be okay. Even after you said and did the things you did. As long as you’ve apologized, truly apologized, to Piku and their friends… I think it’s best to let it go.

Much love to both you and Piku. I hope things are going well for the two of you and your friends. And I hope you can learn and be better, rather than wallow in self hatred.

You know, I'll never understand why your text contains so much emotion and so much kindness. You're a very good writer.

Yes, maybe I should get better, at least try, but it's hard to love yourself when no one has taught you. I would say that I never paid attention to myself, and did not think of myself as a person who also needs to be taken care of.

I want to leave all the posts, I know that I have a bad memory, and they will be a reminder that I made a mistake and I should not allow it anymore

(now I don't want to cause pity, just to speak out) I don't believe in God. I'm a skeptic, so to speak, but to console myself, I turn to my dead cat with some kind of request. It's stupid, yes, but when I asked him to give me someone who would love me for who I am and tolerate my idiotic antics, I should have guessed that these people were already here, maybe I just didn't guess and didn't notice it

Okay, now I understand that I said something stupid, I'm sorry, just a little calm to make it easier to perceive the past.

But yes, I accept everything that I have done and everything that I will do, my words and my actions, this is my responsibility and I will be ready to answer for them if this happens again

[fandomwe1rd0]

Rick is really testing how long he can be insufferable before Morty becomes my favorite character. Let's take a look at the worst moment in the episode, that just SCREAMS victim mentality and victim blaming. But before that, I just wanna make something clear, I do absolutely love Rick, he's my favorite character and I love him. But he was REALLLYYYY testing me this episode and it got on my nerves quick, so this is just made for me to vent and see if anyone else feels the same, so if you wanna share your feelings on this, please share your thoughts in the reblogs or comments! Even if they are different, as long as you are respectful about it, I'll be glad to hear your opinion! Next up, I do kin Rick a lot, and I will cut him the tiniest bit of slack for his behavior here, as I can relate to feeling like you are unlovable, and being unable to see why anyone would love you in the first place. I mean self loathing is a bitch and I definitely relate to Rick feelings like he is unlovable, so while I did give him shit for not knowing Morty loves him in the past, I won't do it here. Now onto the rant! Here's the Convo that makes me blood boil.

Morty: You're acting like you're the one that got stabbed in the back!

Rick: Because I am the one Morty! You wanna know why I replaced myself at the beginning of that stupid knights of the sun things!? I said don't take the fucking sword, and you were like "Whatever" like I'm our neighbor Gene or David Arquette or something. You called me boring! I've become dogshit to you!

Now, allow me to dissect each line because this pisses me the hell off.

Morty: You're acting like you're the one that got stabbed in the back!

Again, Morty is mad here, and that is completely valid, Rick abandoned him for literal months on end, hell I would be furious too if I were Morty. And Rick doesn't appear to feel any fucking guilt and just prefers to wallow in his self pity.

Rick: Because I am the one Morty!

I-I-I-I'm sorry? Y-you abandoned him, for literal MONTHS! Yes, you did replace yourself with a robot that was made to make Morty happy, which does show character development and that you do care about Morty, in your own way. But that does not make you the victim! Morty must be feeling so betrayed and hurt right now, yet you're too wrapped up in your victim mentality to care

Rick: You wanna know why I replaced myself at the beginning of that stupid knights of the sun things!? I said don't take the fucking sword, and you were like "Whatever" like I'm our neighbor Gene or David Arquette or something. You called me boring! I've become dogshit to you!

*Inhales deeply* Rick...you are realllyyy testing my patience right now. If you have been following my blog for a bit, you probably know that victim mentality is the one thing that can make me hate a character, and Rick is just overflowing with it in this episode. And also, Rick was just a huge hypocrite here. Morty did lash out at Rick, yes, but he actually felt bad for it. Morty actually always feelings bad for lashing out at Rick if he is under the impression that he hurt Rick, and Morty clearly shows guilt when Rick says "I've become dogshit to you!" he clearly didn't intend to hurt Rick's feelings, he's just a 14-year-old who lashed out, and Rick says wayyy worse things then what Morty said to him to Morty on the daily. Morty lashed out, he is a teenager, that's what they do. But parents tend to be mature and smart enough to know that the kid doesn't mean this, and is just mad. You are literally the smartest man in the universe. I get being hurt by this, and seeing yourself as unlovable, but that doesn't make your treatment of him here ok in the farthest stretch of the imagination. He has every right to be mad at you, especially considering how you insult the poor boy daily.

Also he's mad because Morty didn't follow his instructions...Rick..DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF WHEN YOU SPEAK!? You legit ignore Morty's advice every fucking time at this point! Also yes, Morty was impulsive and reckless when he took the sword without knowing exactly what happens after he takes the sword...but...he's a teenager...Rick were you never impulsive and reckless when you were a teenager...oh wait! You are REGULARLY impulsive and reckless! So what's your excuse hmmmmm?

I love Rick, but by God he was testing me. Thanks for reading this ranty post, and please let me know your thoughts in the comments or reblogs!

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

🫂

(🫂: Comforting hugs)

WOE MJ COMING OUT BE UPON YE (though should be noted this isn’t 100% how it happens in the final fic in my head, example being I tweaked some dialogue to not have references to spoilers and made it just be Mj and Snatcher, where as in my head I think Delilah would also be there :3 but yeah I have no clue how I actually got myself to write this I was fully expecting to fail horribly at this bc of my motivation sucking ass but welp here we are ig?) (also note this is taking place during the timeskip but I think everyone here already knows that about femmj) anyway, enjoy!!

(Tw for accidental misgendering)

——————————————

“…So, are you going to tell me what’s eating you?”

“Mm-m”

“Moonboy you know I can’t hear you with your face in the pillow like that.”

Moonjumper flinched at the nickname, he doesn’t know. She had to remind herself. 

The two sat in the corpses room, with said corpse having their form pressed into the pillows of their bed, as their brother sat at the end to question their odd behavior lately. 

Moonjumper tilted their head away from the pillow to unmuffle their words. “I said no— it… it’s fine, Snatcher, really.” 

“Yeah, and my name is the Twilight Goat, I’m not falling for that Moon, now fess up.” He gave a deadpan look, a hint of annoyance inching its way into his tone. 

“Snatcher really, it’s—”

“I know it’s not fine. Now. Talk.”

“No, it’s—”

“No, you’ve had yourself locked up in here throwing yourself a little pity party all week! So what’s going on? Because I’m not leaving until you say why!” The ghost snapped. 

The two were left in silence, Moonjumper bit their lip uncomfortably and buried their face back into the pillow, clutching it tighter between her claws. Why couldn’t she just tell him? It would solve both of their problems wouldn't it? 

“I…” Moonjumper tried but the words died on her lips. 

Snatcher simply gave them a sympathetic but simultaneously tired look, one that said he knew far too well what they were feeling right now, oh the joys of being one in the same— you know every little trick and act the other knows. All the same horrible coping and communication skills, like a snake eating its own tail. 

The ghost sighed, “Look— I didn’t mean to get mad. I’m just… worried. You know how I am.” He looked off to the side, shoulders slumping. 

Moonjumper nodded, she knew, she knew he was worried— who wouldn’t be after you realize the pattern over the years that your sibling shuts down through self isolation. A painful habit from the Horizon. Who wouldn’t realize the spirit hadn’t been seen all week and come to the conclusion they’re rotting away in their room, wallowing in their own misery over something that couldn’t even be. Who wouldn’t come check on them, who wouldn’t worry. 

“I know…” Moonjumper whispered, turning over to better face him, “I just…” she blinked a few times, tears rung the corners of her eyes, “I… just don’t think you’d get it…” they looked off to the side. I know you’d understand, I know you won’t care, but I care, I care so much, and it's killing me, it’s killing me how much I care. 

Snatcher only stared at them, “Try me.” He prompted.

The spirit looked up at him upon hearing the words, it’s not you, it’s me, it’s not you, it’s not your fault, it’s not that you won’t get it, it's not that you won’t understand, it’s that I can’t say it, my mouth goes dry just thinking about it, so how in the world could I possibly say it?

Moonjumper slowly sat upright, holding the thick pillow in their lap, suffocating the poor fabric into their chest, “…I…” try again, “I’m—…“ again, “it’s just that— …that I-“ one more time, “I think— no- I am—! I mean— I…” 

“I’ll be here all day, Moonboy.” Snatcher gave an amused look at their failed attempts at the words, though it wasn’t hostile, or the typical harsher teasings he gave, it had a softness he only showed now to them, after all the years that had passed, the kind of softness his past self would gag at seeing from himself. 

There it was, the nickname, …it’s now or never. 

“That!” Moonjumper scrunched their eyes shut, “that— that's the issue.” They mumbled.

Snatcher blinked in pure confusion, “…What?” 

“Th- the name…? Um… that.” She sat up a bit straighter, not looking at anything in particular. “Can you… not call me that…?”

Snatcher was silent, before laughing a bit under his breath, “Wh- the nickname!? Was that what this was all about!?” 

“N- no, Snatcher it’s…” their voice trailed quieter. 

“Haha— You- you had yourself locked up in here for that!?” He laughed, continuing on.

“There’s more to it th—!”

“What? Did you think I would steal your soul over it or something!? Ahahaha—!” 

“Snatcher I'm not a boy!” The words came out as one sound, like ripping away a bandaid, get the pain over with. 

Snatcher froze, his laughter instantly disappeared, he looked at the other, eyes wide before his brows furrowed, bright gold lights looking into amaryllis red irises that shook and shivered with tears that lined the corners of their eyes. 

“You— …what…?” His voice was a complete 180, hushed and silent like the wind, rather than booming and loud like a thundering hurricane. 

Moonjumper bit her lip, desperately blinking the tears away from her eyes, “I— I…” she hicced, voice trembling against her will. She simply let her head fall down, burying her face into the pillow in her grasp, harshly digging her fingers into the cloth coated stuffing. 

Snatcher shifted on the bed, scooting closer to the spirit, “Woah, woah, hey, Moon— it’s ok, I didn’t—“ he didn’t finish his sentence, as he spoke while he moved, bringing his claw to his siblings— (possibly sisters? He wasn’t going to ask just yet,)— shoulder, to which they wordlessly understood where the gesture was leading, shoving the pillow to the floor and diving into his arms. Snatcher was still in shock from the quick hug for a second, before he eased into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the others shoulders as they sobbed silently. 

Moonjumper let the tears slip down their face, allowing themself to relax in his hold, the heat of his fire magic helping tremendously, as they let their form slowly limp against his warm chest, keeping their hold around his back tight though, as their head rested comfortably in the crook of his spectral neck. 

Her sobs slowly died down, but the two remained like that together, wordlessly in each other's embrace 

“So…” Snatcher began, “Do I have a sister, or…?”

Moonjumper laughed quietly, “Maybe~” she sang. “…But, um, I don’t mind you still calling me your sibling, that part is staying the same.” She added in a more serious tone. 

“Got it.” He nodded, “Just no more ‘he’, then? ‘Brother’, ‘Moonboy’, none of that?” He asked to double check. 

Moonjumper shook her head, “I don’t think so, no.” She mumbled. 

“Alright, good to know.” He mused. 

The two were silent yet again, simply resting into the other's arms. Moonjumpers' breathing slowed, dying out into dead emptiness as they stopped forcing it to show itself. 

“So… why were you so upset? Isn’t this a good thing?” Snatcher asked. 

Moonjumper looked at nothing for a moment, biting their tongue in their mouth to think of the words. 

“It’s just…” she shifted, finally breaking the hug to demonstrate— “Well, Snatcher look at me! I’m dead!” They held out their arms, gesturing to their form.

The ghost blinked, “Well, Yeah, so am I. What’s the issue here? That isn’t exactly able to stop me from calling you different things, is it?” He laughed slightly. 

Moonjumper huffed, “it’s not just that— it’s- my form is what’s wrong— it’s my body, not just the words.” They explained, hands motioning as she spoke, “And… and anything that I think of I know wouldn’t do anything— medicine would just absorb into my magic, and- and I couldn’t go to any kind of doctors because— well, one, they probably wouldn’t even take spirits for patients, and two, even if they did, they wouldn’t know how my biology works!? Hell, I hardly do!” She continued to motion her hands, waving them out exaggeratedly at the last part before they fell down into being crossed against her chest, as the corpse huffed, looking off to the side. Her eyes looked at nothing intently, the ghost across from her watched as tears began to build in her eyes once more. 

Moonjumper turned to him, “Snatcher, don’t you get it?” She said in a desperate, defeated tone, “I can’t have it.” 

Snatcher looked at the corpse in sympathy, watching as they looked down, nails clutching tighter into their crossed arms. 

“And how do you know that?” He finally spoke.

Moonjumper sniffled, before looking up to him with wide eyes. “P… pardon?” She said in a shaky voice. 

“How do you know you can’t.” He repeated, deadpan. 

“I— …I just told you?” They said in confusion.

“And what if you’re just jumping to conclusions.” He challenged.

“I…” the spirit didn’t have any words. …Huh. They hadn’t… considered that… 

…They supposed that was what happened when you made an echo chamber of your own negative thoughts for days straight… 

“Well?” Snatcher broke her from out of her head.

Moonjumper only blinked a few times, trying to sort through their thoughts, before she laughed weakly. “I- I guess you have a point…!” She smiled tiredly, a bittersweet sadness rung in her face, as she still managed a toothy grin despite that. 

Snatcher seemed satisfied with that, bringing himself closer once more and hugging the other again. “Even if all that nonsense does turn out to be true, I’ll make sure we find a way, promise.” He leaned his head back away from the hug, pressing his forehead against hers.

Moonjumper laughed airily under her breath, “O- okay.” She shakily breathed out with a smile, easing her head against his.  

“That’s more like it.” Snatcher said in encouragement. “…Glad we talked, Moongirl.” He added. 

Moonjumper paused, her brain freezing up trying to comprehend the words, the nickname hitting her like a train. Once it sunk in, a warm fuzziness she didn’t know existed filled her form, making her smile stretch more as she dizzily pressed her forehead further into Snatchers, letting her eyes slip shut in her newfound haze of bliss. “Yeah…” She echoed the sentiment, “…Glad we talked.” 

[a-and-b-snz]

It's a video game. You don't have to agree with J. K. Rowling, but a video game is not going to hurt you. Let people enjoy things.

Antisemitic hatecrimes are steadily rising. I don't know how it is in your country, but in mine, democracy is crumbling and descent into fascism has already begun. Anti-Jewish ideology is becoming more and more normalised in western society, and whilst that's due in part to the persistant neonazi presence, it's also thanks to the subtle, insidious nods to it in media for mass audiences to passively consume.

As a Jewish woman, I have a vested interest in not being scapegoated and dehumanised, because I'm sure you can recall the last time that came to a head. The very same antisemitic imagery that H/ogwarts L/egacy presents, of greedy, scheming, hooked nosed creatures who seek to bring death to innocent pureblood children, was immensely popular in Germany in the lead-up to the holocaust. And here it is, cropping up again! I can't speak for all Jews, but I for one am terrified for what the future might bring.

I'm so sorry that me being vocal about this obvious antisemitic analogy is of mild irritation to you. It must be such an inconvenience every time you have to listen to whiny, annoying Jews like me, begging you to show solidarity with our plight. You guys are real the victims here, you're so right!

H/ogwarts L/egacy is a kill-the-Jew simulator. If you still don't understand how that is the case, I'm happy to explain it to you again, but in the mean time, I will not be apologising for my stance on this. I am sick and tired of seeing goyim wallowing in self-pity over this issue right now. You claim to be allies to the Jewish community but you can't even boycott a fucking video game.

TLDR: Yes, a video game can hurt me. Fuck off.

[nightdemon04]

First try at angst let me know what you think!

I gave this fanfic a very personal spin so i hope it's not too bad.

Angsty? Comfort? Idk you can decide

Warning! Self isolation, mention of sh and sh scars. If any of these trigger you please don't read.

Atsushi Nakajima x gn reader.

Enjoy!!

I splashed water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Eyes puffy from my latest crying session, i took notice of the scars that are still there but atleast i didn't go that far this time. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing..

Probably Kunikida calling to see where I am, I really wish I hadn't plugged my phone in yesterday, it's been silent for the whole week. Now I'm going to have to explain to everyone why I'm missing for the week, not that any of them bothered to visit to see me. I'll just tell Kunikida I was sick and couldn't get out of bed.

I checked my phone only to see a lot of missed calls and unread messages, I'll answer later. I can't be bothered right now. I lay back in bed staring up, I don't know what happened for me to feel like this. I guess it started when I saw Dazai and the others in a bar without me, they couldn't even bother to invite me. It wasn't even their fault I was away on a mission but it just reminded me of my past and how that went.

Now i'm here talking to no one, going back to how it all was before i joined ADA. I always thought it was normal until i met the people I know now, I can't help let the past haunt me and ruin everything I've build so far.

I should probably atleast text Atsushi, he's probably worried sick about me. I'm suprised he hasn't shown up on my doorstep but I understand. I do live quite a bit away from him. I'm also glad he hasn't shown up, no idea what I'd do. I'm scared to face him. He's the love of my life, he's been there for me since he joined. He gave me the best birthday gift even though he didn't know me. I love him with all my heart so i don't want him to see me like this.

I rubbed my eyes hoping for the tears that I felt building up to dissappear. After a while i fell asleep again, only to be woken up by knocking on my door. I groggily open the door only to see Dazai. "Dazai? What are you doing here?" He pushed me aside and walked inside. He turned to look at me, grabbed my shoulders and started talking. "Get off ur ass, stop pitying yourself and get something done." i looked at him in shock unable to say something.

I felt the tears coming up again. Dazai kept staring at me. he wiped them away.

"Staying home and pitying yourself won't help you, it will make everything worse. Go work or go on a date with Atsushi, go to a store, go to a dog park, i don't know but stop it." He looked at me calmly but there was another emotion hidden deep inside of him. I couldn't say anything, just staring at him. He slapped my cheek softly snapping me out of it and i started nodding and softly said a "yes Dazai."

He looked at me so serious, I've never seen Dazai like this. It's honestly scary to see him like this. "I'll come to work tomorrow i promise." He suddenly smiled. "Good u need to help me with paperwork!" he winked at me.

Ofcourse what else did i expect. Suddenly his face dropped again "Y/N.. Don't let whatever happend stop you or push anyone away. Everyone was worried sick about you, come to us when you need help don't just isolate yourself." i nodded and hugged him tightly.

I felt him tense but slowly hug me back. "Don't ever hesitate to ask for help or advice, just don't wallow in self pity that's just stupid." i nodded again and let him go, he walked to my fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"I'm going now, i better see you at work tomorrow" he was almost past the door when Atsushi came inside panicking. "Y/N i saw your door open are yo- Dazai?" Atsushi is here now too? Just my luck.. "Hello and goodbye Atsushi" with that Dazai left quickly and Atsushi turned to me with confusion.

I just lifted my shoulders i didn't want to expose Dazai or even explain it all. "What are you doing here Atsushi?" He looked at me nervously. "I came to check up on you.. You haven't answered any of my texts and haven't been at work so I've been worried." He cares?

I decided to stop it here i might make a second part though. I've been struggling a lot with life so do excuse the rare updates.

Also I'm working on some headcannons but for some reason i just can't think if anything I'm going to ask some friends to help me cus i really don't have any idea how to tackle that. Either way i hope you liked the fic!

Stay healthy and safe!

Drink enough water and eat too!

[redbirdbella]

Of course it was the widow who had to be the first to notice.

"Where's the ring Barton?"

Clint sighs looking down at the pale stripe on the fourth finger on his left hand.

"I think you've lost a lot more by bringing me in"

"Don't give yourself too much credit. I was emotionally unavailable, she liked other mens dicks. It was mutual"

"Mutual enough that you've only just taken the ring off now. You signed the papers - what 6 weeks ago now?" She leans back in her chair.

"You want to play therapist Romanov?"

"I've got nothing better to do"

"Just give me a break and attend the briefing"

"That's a really cute word for an interrogation"

"If it has slipped your attention not once have I forced you to do anything. Everything has required your full co-operation - There are people outside these four fucking walls who yes want nothing more than you dead and tortured but I have stepped in. I am trying for once in my life Natalia to be good at something, to stick at it but all you are doing is painting a bigger target on my back!" Clint shouts feeling the anger rise again. He clenches his fists and breathes, "All I ask is that you try to be something more than a martyr"

"I think being a martyr requires being dead - you weren't capable of killing me"

"I think it requires someone actually missing you" Clint counters, "You've been here 2 months. If the red room, hell if anybody was gonna grieve you they'd have done it by now"

She laughs "Touche"

"I'm not wallowing self pity"

"You've been trapped here as long as I have. My merciful overlord, and you haven't had a visitor and the only mail you have received in divorce papers" Natlia says simply "I'm done being your little pet project"

"You aren't a project Natalia. I just want to help you-"

"You told me it would be safe. That I could learn to live. Make my own choices, destroy the monsters who made me!" She advances quickly and for a moment Clint wonders if this is why the guard had tried to give him a panic button. "You put me in a cage!"

"And you're the one refusing to leave it! What do you expect Natalia? I've put you in a cage with the door unlocked and you won't leave it"