#yes hello this took way too many years off my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

2hightocare · 1 year ago

Text

WHAT YOU NEED ✷

Synopsis: Jungkook and you try getting into the Christmas spirit, but you end up getting fucked up against the kitchen counter.

Pairing: Jungkook x f!reader

Genre: established relationship au!

Warnings: smut, size kink, light spanking, squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t b dumb nd wear condom.) fluff, cussing, Jungkook has a dirty mouth. a kms joke, hair pulling and choking

Word count: 2.3k

A/n: let’s not sayyyy.. when i say i was giggling and kicking my feet i am not fucking lying! (Jk had me on a chokehold istg😒) they flagged my shit… um

Is it barely November 1st? Yes.

Are you putting the Christmas tree up already? Fuck yeah.

Jungkook would clown you for your love for Christmas, and honestly, you didn't care because you loved everything about it. The decorations, the new flavored coffee menu’s, the gifts underneath the tree, and the cold. You loved wearing beanies, scarves, and thick hoodies. Something about this holiday takes you back to your childhood—the way you would gather with your siblings and parents in the kitchen, making sugar cookies to put under the tree for Santa.

Were you heartbroken when your parents told you they were Santa? Yes. You felt betrayed after they lied to you for thirteen years of your life. When you shared your story with Jungkook, he burst out laughing, sharing that he found out at age nine after catching his parents in the act, making you want to cry for him.

Now here you both were at 10:40 pm assembling the Christmas tree. Jungkook's mom gifted you both, which is much bigger than yours from last year.

“Oh my fuck—this is too big, baby." Jungkook admires the height of the tree with his hands rested on both sides of his hips. Your excitement rises at how many possible ways you both could decorate it.

"Well, I can tell you hate it,” your boyfriend jokes as his hands wrap around your bare waist from behind. “Your hands are cold,” you flinch. Your hands wrap around his, trying to pass him your warmth.

“And if we decorate it with tiny dicks?” You crack your neck upward to see his reaction. “I mean, go for it, baby."

You swat his chest as he burst into a fit of laughter. “You swear you’re so funny, huh?” You look at him with a serious face, your mouth twitching from trying to hold in the big smile that wants to come out.

Jungkook just shakes his head. “Wanna decorate today with last year's decorations, or we can wait till tomorrow and buy new ones, and instead we can bake Christmas cookies?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Anyone in their right mind would be thinking we’re crazy for already baking Christmas cookies when December is in a whole month. But you both didn’t care.

…

“We should’ve gotten pre-made cookie dough.” Your eyes look around at the marble counter in front of you, filled with all the ingredients your mother-in-law told you to use. “On god.” Jungkook stands beside you. “You know what? Let me call my mom. We need a tutorial, I'm afraid.” You giggle as he pulls out his phone, opening up FaceTime.

The phone rings three times before the camera fills up with your mother-in-law smiling sweetly. "Hi, my babies!” She says first, Your face lights up. “Hi,” you wave a hand to the camera. “Hi mom!”

“You guys look adorable,” she motions to your guys matching pink hello kitty pajamas. “Y/n bought them; I had no choice,” he lied, knowing damn well he wanted to match first. “Sureee.” You rolled your eyes at him.

The call continued as Jungkook's mom gave you guys simple instructions like beating the sugar and butter with a whisk, which Jungkook took over because your hand started to hurt, and gradually adding flour to the mixture, which ended with both of you guys covered in white flour because Jungkook turned the mixer too fast. After wishing your goodbyes, you both slightly shake off the flour, and you put the dough in the refrigerator. Apparently, you have to let it be firm.

“So now we have two hours to wait. I say we fuck.” Jungkook slaps your ass, making you squeal. “You’re horny??” Your hands make their way to his hair, slightly pulling. "Hm, maybe,” he whispers into your mouth, and he gives you a slow, wet kiss. “I’m still sore from earlier." I mumble in between kisses. “Was I too rough?” His rough hands massage your ass. You shrug your shoulders in his embrace.

“Christmas movie, then?” He asks, “I’m so down."

….

“Shit takes like ass,” you say, finishing up the cookie.

Your boyfriend looks around for the long-gone cookie. “I don't know; let’s ask the audience.” He looks around for the invisible camera. “Bitch!” You swat his arm, and he burst out laughing, holding on to his stomach.

“You literally ate that shit up.” His head is thrown back, and the most beautiful laugh roars out of him. “I will kill myself genuinely.” You chuckle while trying another cookie without the frosting you guys tried making from a tutorial on Google.

“The frosting is ass, cause this is a bomb,” you stuff your mouth with the remaining of the cookie humming at the taste. “Am I weird cause I fuck with the frosting?" He dips his pinky nto the bowl where the white frosting is before sucking it off. “Never mind actual shit." His nose scrunches in disgust, and his tongue sticks out, making you giggle.

"No, seriously, why is it so bad?” Jungkook takes a sip of the milk he had served not so long ago. “I have no clue, baby, but the sugar cookie itself slaps." You take your half eaten cookie up to your boyfriend's mouth and say, "Open, ahh." He immediately follows commands and opens before you shove his mouth with the golden cookie. “Mhm,” Jungkook's face scrunches as he bobs his head up and down, savoring the heart-shaped cookie.

“Probably the best cookie I had in a while, not gonna lie,” he states, taking a bite of the gingerman's head.

“Do we have cinnamon?” You make your way to the drawer where you keep all the spices. “ Found it,” you make your way back to the cookie before sprinkling some on your and Jungkook's cookies before taking a huge bite. “Oh my fuck," you moan.

"Oh, my fuck indeed.” Jungkook shoves the remaining cookie into his mouth, moaning at how it melted in his mouth. "Think, I just saw stars.” You say this while he side-eyes you. “Haha no.” He says that before picking you up on the counter, he settles in between your legs.

“Horny still?” You ask again, "Yes, very, I’ll be a gentle promise.” He leaves open-mouth kisses on your neck before slowly sucking.

“No marks.” You moan, your fingers slightly tugging on his hair and making him groan. “Scarf season, princess.” He looks up with a smirk on his face, then continues his actions, sucking and licking your soft spot. You bite your lip, trying to be quiet. Jungkook slowly grinds into your clothed pussy causing you to slip out a throaty moan. “Fuck—“ you throw your head back, your legs caging him closer to where you most need him. “I need you to lose the clothes and fuck me.” Jungkook chuckles at your demanding tone.

“Yeah? Want my cock already?” His hands rub on your thighs. You nod your head, looking down at the imprint of his now-hard cock. You reach for it, but Jungkook slaps your hand away, making you pout. “Patience princess,” Jungkook's hands tug on the band of your pajamas, pulling them down and taking your underwear along with it.

You squeal as your bare ass feels the cold counter top, and your boyfriend laughs before throwing the clothes somewhere on the ground.

Your pussy clenches over nothing, and you go to press your thighs together to relieve some of the tension, only for Jungkook to hold them wide open. He pulls his hard cock out of his pants, giving himself two pumps before slapping it on your wet center. Your gaze fixated on his dick on your pussy, your lips between your teeth moaning slightly when your boyfriend gives it another slap with his dick.

“So wet for me, baby,” he says, giving it another slap. "C'mere," Jungkook's picks you off the counter from your arms, “bend over. ” He orders.

You quickly follow his command, your juices dripping down your legs from how wet you were already. Jungkook spreads open your legs some more before making his way in between them, giving your ass a slap. “Fuck—“ you clench your thighs together as he soothes the red mark he just left. “Fuck, when are you going to let me fuck this ass.” Your boyfriend asks you, giving you another spank, making you squeak.

“Never,” you moan, making him chuckle under his breath. “Worth the try.” He jokes before sinking down into you, both moaning at the feeling. You felt so full. Jungkook is so big, stretching your pussy deliciously. “So big shit," you moan, your cheek pressed against the counter as he fills you up to the hilt. “You can take it, baby,” Jungkook says between gritted teeth. He felt you clenching around him, having him on the verge of coming right there in an instant.

“Always so good for me, baby. Want me to fuck you so good, huh?” He whispers into your ear, and you clench around him, earning you another spank, ripping a loud moan out of you. “Fuck me," you stutter over the pleasure your lower belly is feeling. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” Jungkook says before pulling his cock out, just leaving the tip in before slamming into you. Your mouth hangs open as he repeats the movements over and over again. “Fuck just like that,” you grip to the edge of the counter, your eyes close immediately, as his rough hands compare to your smooth skin, hold tightly to the sides of your hips, pounding into you from behind.

“This cunt is mine, right?” Jungkook groans, sliding his cock in and out of your walls. You could only reply with a loud moan. But that’s not enough for Jungkook; your boyfriend wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you upward and arching your back in the process. “Use your words, princess.” He orders in your ear, his movements never halting.

"Fuck—your pussy! Only yours,” you spit out whatever words you could make a sentence out of. “Fucking you dumb, huh?” He lets go of your hair and moves his hand around your neck, adorning it like a necklace and applying some pressure. "Mhmm,” you moan, trying to open your eyes but shutting close after Jungkook slams into you again.

The room fills with the wet clapping sounds, groans, and moans that keep spilling out of your guys mouths. Your fingers find your sensitive clit, applying pressure and drawing small circles. "Fuck—I'm gonna come!” Your legs shake beneath Jungkook, and his arm wraps around your waist in case your legs give out on you.

“Yeah baby? Gonna come for me?” He slaps your hand away from your clit replacing it with his. Your back arches against him, and his cock continues hitting your g-spot repeatedly, sending you over the edge.

“Oh fuc—“ Your words are cut short when the pleasure in your belly finally snaps, and Jungkook's fingers furiously move on your pussy, making you scream into your hand. Wetness pools on your feet, dripping down your legs. “Fuck so hot when you squirt,” Jungkook continues fucking you through your orgasm, the overstimulation has you shaking underneath him. “Too much fu-fuck,” you head drops to the counter. You clench, sending Jungkook over the edge.

“Coming,” your boyfriend's head drops to your shoulder, his movements becoming sloppy, springs of cum shooting inside you, moaning at the feeling.

His movements come to a halt, his mind foggy, his cock throbbing when he pulls out, making you whine, feeling empty.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Jungkook mutters under his breath as he sees his cum dripping out of your hole. Without a second thought, he shoves it back in with his index finger. “Aw shit,” you moan at the sensitivity.

He chuckles, kissing your shoulder blade. “You were so good for me, baby.” He leaves open-mouthed kisses all over your back, breathing heavily. You are trying to catch your breath, and your legs feel like jelly, not being able to move from your current position.

“Mhm,” you hum softly, your eyes closing. "Baby, don’t fall asleep on me,” Jungkook smiles at you, picking you up in bridal style, making you to squeal.

"How the fuck can you be so cute after just getting railed?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face as you try to snuggle into his chest. “You play too much,” you mumble.

Jungkook lays you down on the bed before disappearing into your guys bathroom; a couple minutes later, coming out changed and with a warm rag in hand, “here, baby open,” he coos motioning to your legs. You do as he says. He slowly cleans and wipes your center, making you moan from oversensitivity. “Almost done,” he says before giving a last swipe and throwing the rag somewhere in the room.

“Do you want a pill, baby?” He asks against your cheek, to which you nod. He stands up, walking to your side of the closet and getting you something comfy to wear. “Here. Be right back.” Jungkook leaves the clothes next to you and leaves the room.

As you change into your clothes, Jungkook waltz’s in with an ibuprofen and a glass of water on his other hand. “Here,” he says, waiting for you to poke your head out of his hoodie before handing you the small pill.

You swallow the pill without any complaints before dropping down on the bed. “So tired.” Your eyes close before you even hit the pillow, making him chuckle. “Worn you out, huh?” He teases before dropping beside you, pulling the covers over both of you. You immediately cuddle up to his side, feeding off the warmth he radiates. Your leg is over his torso, and your hand is on his chest.

“I love you, princess.” He whispers into your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead. “I love you; now let’s go, mimi’s." You kiss his clothed chest, hoping he can still feel the kiss.

#bts fanfic #bts jungkook #fluff #jjk #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jjk smut #smut #bts smut #established relationship #jjk x reader #bangtan #drabble

3K notes · View notes

paarksunghoon · 1 month ago

Note

hello omg i love love LOVE deep honey, which is rare cus i usually do not touch fluff at all but smth abt the way u wrote got to me. i was wondering that in case u wanted an idea, u could write abt sunghoon rushing over to take care of his sick girlfriend? :3 just a thought or any headcannons u have on that would do fine but if u wanna turn it into a drabble or fic that's good too, especially if it's a continuation of deep honey

anyways, that is all from me, have a good day!!!

thank you so much :’) for all of my nsfw drabbles and content, I really enjoy writing the softer kind of stories. switched up the request just a little. consider this a token of my appreciation for your kindness. xx

ps this is what I’m imaging him wearing

***

If there’s one thing you know, it’s that nothing good could ever happen when you text someone past 2AM.

Both existential and physical dread consume you the second you open your texts and see a plethora of unread messages due to your current state of being. You’ve been bedridden for what feels like years but it’s only been a few of days. It’s technically Sunday morning and technically you should be fast asleep, especially since you’d taken medication to help you rest throughout the night. But seems like your body has other plans for you.

Tossing and turning won’t do either. Your head feels much better than it has for the past two days. You’d taken two days off or classes because of intense migraines paired with what seems like onset sickness due to it being flue season. Guilt over missing classes and groveling to your professors (even if they extended grace and told you to rest up) ate you alive, only ebbing away when you closed your eyes and slept.

Your roommate has been away because of a family event and what was once a promising weekend full of relaxation and the apartment to yourself is now a time for you to wallow in your misery. You’ve gone through countless tissues and have slept more in the past few days than in your entire life. It feels like your head might as well be cut off with how many problems your eyes, nose, and throat are giving you.

To pass the time, social media distracts you for a few minutes and you catch glimpses of what your friends have been up to. Partying. Studying. Eating at the cafeteria. All of these are mundane events you took for granted because you’d love to be anywhere but rotting away in your apartment. You’d rather studying for a midterm over feeling like you can’t move without losing your breath.

You take this time to catch up on texts as well. There are so many what remain unread by you and guilt crawls up your spine as you begin to reply to everything.

hi riki!! sorry I haven’t replied yet. I’ve been sick all weekend :/ I wish I could’ve gone to jake’s game with u bc it looked so fun ☹️

jungwon ur your cat is so cute omg…please send more vids. also sorry for replying late im sick lol

sunoo I swear to god if you watch another episode without me, I’m gonna beat your ass whenever I recover

yes, mom. I’m resting as much as I can! sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I still feel sick

heeseung do u think sunghoon would be weirded out if i text him right now. pls advise 😁

Heeseung immediately reads the message and the text bubble appears straight away. He’s one of your closest friends in university who always happens to be friends with Park Sunghoon, the guy you’ve been talking to for the past month and a half.

heeseung: Nah not weird. He’d probably like hearing from you

heeseung: He was asking about you earlier today and said you haven’t been talking to him as much

you: looking at my phone made me nauseous :/

heeseung: You should probably tell him that bc he’s been staring at his phone all day

you: soooo it wouldn’t be weird if I texted him out of the blue rn?? usually we don’t like…start conversations so late

heeseung: You’re overthinking. Just text him and if he doesn’t reply then he’s asleep and will text you in the morning

you: I’m scared of fucking it up

heeseung: There’s nothing to fuck up. If he gets mad that you took care of yourself (he won’t be) then he’s the one who fucked up

you: ugh when did u become the voice of reason

heeseung: :)

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard after you’ve opened Sunghoon’s text. You can imagine his slight pout when you think about how he’d react when he realizes you haven’t texted him back, which makes you feel even more guilty than you already are.

You’re not really sure how you started talking to him, let alone befriended Heeseung to the point where he started inviting you to hang out with him and his group of friends. Heeseung had originally been a study partner for a shared class back when the two of you were sophomores. It’s been a couple of years since then and now most of your conversations consist of TikTok jokes and Heeseung having to deal with you pining over one of his friends.

Sunghoon is every bit of cool you can imagine. He was so quiet when you first met him, residing in his oversized sweater since it was approaching the beginning of autumn. Heeseung invited you to a local bar on a Friday night after midterms and said your first drink would be on him if you made it before last call, knowing very well you were likely getting ready to slip underneath your blankets and call it a night.

He was right as always. You showed up wearing jeans and an old shirt with a jacket that was too big for your body. You’d made somewhat of an effort to look presentable since you’d be hanging out with his friends near campus and would rather not look like you’d gotten rolled over by a locomotive. It was there you met Sunghoon for the first time. He was so quiet that you barely heard him talk until an hour into hanging out with him, but that’s when you learned that he was someone you needed to get to know before he’d show you his loud, boisterous personality.

The more you hung out with him, the more you started to picture yourself with Sunghoon, away from the group you started to call your friends too. You’d only see him when Heeseung invited you out or if you bumped into someone else while Sunghoon was in tow with them. Neither of you seemed to cross paths otherwise and even then, Sunghoon was a bit too timid to approach you first and start a conversation.

Part of you wondered if you were ever too bold when you’d get drunk with him and your friends. You were loud, full of laughter and affection that none of your friends were surprised every time you shouted compliments across the tables and declared your love for the little group you considered to be your family away from home. Heeseung had gotten used to it pretty quickly and so did the others, albeit it took a while for their ears to stop glowing red every time you’d pull them into a drunken hug.

Maybe you sent a little too far with Sunghoon, who immediately tensed when your arms wrapped around his shoulders the first time you let your inhibitions down fully. A few beers and shots in, and Heeseung was anticipating your drunken rant about how much you love the little life the five of you had created and hoped that it would continue even after you all graduate.

Sunghoon always looked a bit intimidating with his dark, thick eyebrows and shielded his wandering eyes. He always looked like he knew what he wanted and his grace always made you think twice about what you’d say to him. Although, you knew this was the beginning of an onset crush that wouldn’t remain hidden for long, let alone when you weren’t sober.

So you’d thrown your arms around Sunghoon’s shoulder and told him how happy you were that Heeseung introduced the two of you. While you try not to think about that moment too much, you recall telling Sunghoon that he was slowly starting to become one of your favorite people because of how funny he is when people least expect it. You liked that he was so kind to his friends and that he was so confident in himself, and that you wished you could be a little more like him.

You also said he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. It was a sobering moment because he looked at you like you’d grown two heads and his shoulders felt like they might’ve been pushing you off of his body.

Stumbling with consistent apologies, none of your mutual friends seemed to notice what was happening behind them. You can picture the look on his face when your mind crosses to this moment, how he’d looked at you with bewilderment with his mouth ajar. Sunghoon didn’t say anything and you took that cue to leave him alone and head to the bar, where you hoped distance would make this night seem less tragic than it was.

When morning came around, you were the only person in your shared group chat who declined getting a late morning breakfast due to your embarrassment. Even during the next weekend, when Jake opened up his apartment for a casual hang out, you were the only person who didn’t show up, citing work and study stresses keeping you away from your friends.

Heeseung knew those were merely excuses.

“Cut the shit, Y/N. Are you okay? Did one of the guys do anything to make you uncomfortable?” The worst laced in his tone made you feel guilty for having him think the worse of people he knew before he met you.

“No, nothing like that. I think I’m the one who fucked up and made them uncomfortable.”

“Well clearly not since Jake invited you to his place. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?”

The last thing you expected from Heeseung was to see him double over in laugher when you explained your predicament, clutching onto your bed like he’d fall to the ground if he didn’t. You’re sure that fit of laugher gave him a new set of abs.

“Sunghoon wasn’t weirded out. He texted me and asked if you were okay.” Heeseung pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you, leaving you in a cloud of confusion. “He probably likes you. Sunghoon’s a natural with girls even if he doesn’t realize they’re flirting with him. I think he likes you too because he’s acting really awkward because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”

That night left you with more question than answers. You considered texting Sunghoon and asking if the two of you could talk, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable and tell him what Heeseung told you in fear of putting your friend in an awkward position. So you let the discomfort settle and braved seeing him the next time one of your friends invited you out.

Which, to no one’s surprise, was the weekend after Jake’s get together. Seoul’s autumn carnival was in its third weekend by the time the five of you were able to find adequate time to ride every rollercoaster and eat until your stomachs caved in. You loved the fair and were the first person to buy an admission ticket. Poor Jay, who wasn’t the biggest fan of big rides in the first place, tagged along with Jake every time he insisted on it. You tried your best to keep some distance between yourself and Sunghoon, even if Heeseung said you were being ridiculous. You’d chosen to stick by him until Sunghoon volunteered to help you pick up the food trays when you lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

“I’m sorry that I acted weird that night,” he said, cutting the silence as the two of you waited for your order. He didn’t have to explain. You knew what he was talking about. “Heeseung said you felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable but I need you to know you didn’t make me feel that way.”

That was the longest sentence he’d ever said to you, let alone it being the first time he initiated a conversation with you. He watched as you stood with your eyes wide and mouth parted like you wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.

“I think you just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting you to say nice things about me. I didn’t realize we were that close because you’d been affectionate with everyone but me up until that night.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I was, uh, flustered.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He averted your gaze and looked at his shoes momentarily before he looked back at you. “I liked what you said. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

You laughed at the awkwardness dissipating. “I thought I crossed a line, or something. You just sat there and I thought I fucked up by touching you.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t. I…I liked it a lot.” You tried to hide a grin by keeping your bubbling excitement under wraps failed miserably. Sunghoon smiled too, offering to carry most of the trays back to the table where your friends were too hungry to talk for the next ten minutes.

The memory brings you back to the present where your thumbs hover the keyboard. You start to read back the conversation between the two of you and feel those butterflies erupt in your stomach for the umpteenth time. The two of you have talked about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. So why is texting him to let him know you’ve been sick for the past few days so difficult for you?

you: hi

you: sorry I haven’t texted a lot in the past few days. I’ve been having migraines and now I’ve caught a cold ):

you: im sorry for texting so late too

He texts immediately.

sunghoon: You don’t have to be sorry. Are you feeling better now?

sunghoon: Actually don’t answer that

Your phone rings.

“Hey,” you say with your phone propped against your ear. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me. I’m the only who’s calling you when you’re sick, so I’m technically the one bothering you.” His laugh on the other line makes you smile a little too hard. “I was really worried. None of the guys heard from you so I figured you needed some space.”

“Unfortunately. I had to skip a few classes because it hurt to stand up. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept more this past week than I have in the last month.”

“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

“I feel bad that I haven’t been able to talk to you.”

As if Sunghoon could sense you pouting, he clicks his tongue and reassures you. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t imagine how much pain you’ve been in.”

“I would honestly rather study and take a million midterms than go through this again. I feel like someone just took their shoe off of my head.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. Can I bring you anything? Medicine, maybe?”

You cough a little. “No, but thank you. My friend dropped off a lot of NyQuil and other stuff to help me. It’s working…kind of. Still feel like shit, though.”

“…Can I come over? To help you with your sickness, of course. I can bring you soup.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You frantically rise from your bed amidst his words and realize there are tissues on the ground and dirty clothes strewn everywhere because of your lack of energy. Your living room must be a mess, too, and this would also be the first time Sunghoon would see you without any makeup on.

“I want to. But I mean, only if you’re up for it. I don’t want to stress you out since you’re sick. I just want to help make you feel better. That…and I miss you.”

Sunghoon’s never been so direct before. Even though the two of you have been talking for a while, neither of you have been so forward about it. Conversations are always subtly flirty to the point where the effervescent feeling simmers just underneath the surface. The two of you have hung out without the rest of your friends and have been alone before, but neither one of you has gone so far as you be so bold about the other.

“I miss you too,” you whisper into the phone.

“Give me thirty minutes. I’ll come with soup.”

He hangs up and with a newfound sense of urgency, you make your bed and throw away any stray trash. You put your dirty laundry in the hamper, which is piled high and untouched. It’ll be a problem for when you’re not sick.

The living room isn’t too bad. You straighten furniture and throw away empty takeout containers and wash a few utensils. The tasks don’t feel as draining as they did a few days ago and you’re starting to regain a little bit of your breath.

True to his word, Sunghoon arrives thirty minutes after he said he would. You open the door and look at him. He’s wearing blue hoodie and sweatpants with specs that make him look significantly more attractive than you’re used to.

“Hi,” Sunghoon says with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”

You bite your lip and blurt out your first thought. “You look really good in those glasses.”

Sunghoon chuckles. “Thank you. Can I come in?”

“Right, right.” You step aside and he follows you into your apartment. He takes his shoes off and places them neatly by the shoe rack.

“I might need to reheat this. I got it from that place near my apartment. You know, the one with the yellow banner?”

“I love that place.”

He smiles at you. “I know. Can I heat up some soup for you?”

When you nod, Sunghoon moves to the correct cabinet and pulls out everything he needs. It astounds you because he’s only ever been to your apartment twice before, both times with your other friends in tow. It dawns on you that it’s the first time the two of you are alone in your space. You’re touched that he remembers where your things are.

He beckons you to sit on the counter in front of the steaming bowl and the aroma of spices makes your mouth water. You haven’t been able to eat consistently in the past few days, surviving on bland foods like bread and crackers to sustain your health because anything else made you feel sicker than you were. The steam feels good against your skin and you dig in right away.

Sunghoon pulls your hair back when it gets close to the rim and holds it for you while you lap up the soup. It seems as though you’re hungrier than you thought because you sit there wordlessly, shoveling liquid into your mouth while Sunghoon watches.

“Sorry,” you apologize. “I must look like a zoo animal.”

“You’re sick, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for. The first meal you can stomach is the best one.” It’s like he gets you. Sunghoon continues to hold your hair back until you’re finished. He washes the bowl and spoon, and puts it back where they belong.

Sunghoon turns around and looks at you under the ambient lighting you and your roommate put up in lieu of the overhead lights. It feels like he’s inspecting you and you try really hard not to think about the fact that you don’t feel presentable in this moment.

“Your apartment feels very you,” Sunghoon says. “I like all of the green furniture and the art on the wall.”

“My roommate picked the decor out but I’m starting to understand why she loves art so much.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at you. “Would you want to go to an art museum with me?”

“I’d really like that.”

Sunghoon pulls you by the hand to your couch and you try your best not to feel flustered with his touch. He sits you down on the cushion and immediately you feel like you need to be hyper vigilant because he’s looking around the apartment and you’re wondering if he can see the messes you see.

“Do you have a blanket? We could watch some TV. Or I could go. I don’t know.”

“Don’t go.” You say it too quickly but Sunghoon’s shoulders relax. “The blankets are beside the couch.”

He drapes it over you, leaving himself to fend for the cold. Although you’re sure he’s pretty warm, you open up the blanket and invite him to share it with you.

This is new territory. You two have just been talking. But Sunghoon isn’t deterred. He slots himself next to you and doesn’t shy away when he feels your arm pressed against him.

“Sorry for the mess. And for, well…” He watches you gesture to your face, which is undoubtedly red with dark circles underneath your eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything. I still like you.”

You aren’t used to him being so upfront like this. He watches you with easy eyes, the kind of feeling that makes you believe what he says. Sunghoon is pretty reserved when it comes to these types of things and you often find yourself being the one to push him towards his bolder side. But even though you feel flustered by his words and underneath his stare, you like this newer side of him.

“I’m such a mess.”

Sunghoon watches you push your forehead into his shoulder in an attempt to hide yourself from him. He smiles at your antics and loves the feeling of your body on his. He’s been hesitant to do things like hold your hand or kiss your cheek in fear or overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t know what came over him when he held your hair back from falling into the hot soup. He knows very well that he could’ve asked where you kept your hair ties, but helping you when he knows you need it felt like the right thing to do.

Now, he wonders if you’re growing bolder with him too. You let your forehead rest against his hoodie as you take deep breaths. He hears you sniffle a few times and nearly coos at the mere thought of you suffering from your sickness. When you pull yourself away from him, the tip of your nose is slightly runny and your eyes look a bit more red than usual.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

He bites his lip. “You could look worse.” You try not to let your cheeks rise in heat.

“You’re just being nice.”

Sunghoon laughs and shakes his head. He could never lie about how he feels towards you. “Nope. You still look really cute.” He watches the gears work inside your head and locates the TV remote when you don’t say anything. “What do you want to watch?”

“I dunno.”

“C’mon, you must’ve been watching TV while you were cooped up here.”

You shake your head. “Migraine, remember? Felt like my eyes were gonna burst.”

This time, he coos out loud. Sunghoon puts on a show you’ve mentioned enjoying in the past and hopes he chose correctly. You seem to be mellowing out and paying attention to the screen in front of you until you start breathing heavily. It’s not until he hears you try to silence a small coughing fit that he shoots up from his seat and pours you a glass of water.

“Here.” Sunghoon doesn’t let you hold the glass. Instead, he beckons your mouth open by placing the rim between your lips and lets you swallow the water, tilting it up until you’ve consumed all of it. He wipes the excess water from the corners of your mouth with his thumb and looks down at you with concern. “Do you have any tea? I can make you some. Hopefully that’ll soothe your throat.”

“Stupid medicine isn’t working,” you grumble. “I might as well perish.”

“Tea, baby,” Sunghoon says, the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. You almost don’t notice it. “Where do you keep your tea and honey?”

“Cabinet beside the fridge.”

Sunghoon comes back a few minutes later with piping hot chamomile tea with honey. You don’t know how he does it, anticipating your every need and putting just enough honey where it doesn’t feel like you’re stuffing your throat with the sweet nectar. You sip on it slowly as he situates himself back underneath the blanket and keeps his eyes on the television while you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.

Eventually, the episode finished and it’s almost four in the morning when you start to get sleepy. Sunghoon hears you yawning beside him and does his best not to grin like a lovesick idiot when you push your body against his in an attempt to get comfortable. You’re holding the empty cup loosely in your hands when your eyes start to droop and as much as Sunghoon would love to stay like this, he knows it’ll be better for you to sleep in your own bed with your back against the mattress.

“Baby,” Sunghoon whispers. He grabs the mug from your hands and sets it on the coffee table. “I think you should sleep in your bed. You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”

“But you’re so warm.”

He bites back a smile. “Thank you, but you’re gonna wake up with back pain and I know you’ll be mad that you didn’t sleep with pillows.”

He’s right and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from letting a whine slip past. Sunghoon doesn’t complain when you lean on him for support (or rather, you push your full weight onto him because you cannot be bothered with physical tasks at this late hour). Instead, he holds your waist with his arm and guides you into your bedroom from his memory of coming here a couple times before now.

Despite this, he’s never been inside your room. You’ve always kept the door closed but as he opens it, Sunghoon completely melts at how your bedroom is so utterly you. The dark green comforter hugs your queen-sized bed and a mountain of pillows cover the top near the bed frame. Your desk is an organized mess of notebooks, pens, and highlighters you carry with you during study sessions. Photographs in pretty frames decorate your walls along with posters of your favorite music and films.

He spots a picture of the two of you from that day at the amusement park when Heeseung insisted on taking a photo since the lighting was “perfect.” Sunghoon suspected that wasn’t the case but let him take it anyhow. He always considered that to be his first official memory with you. Knowing you might feel the same makes Sunghoon’s heart flutter.

“Let’s get you into bed, yeah?”

His soft touches make you fall much deeper into your tiredness. The mattress below you feels too good to be true as Sunghoon opens the blankets for you to crawl underneath. He watches you carefully as you scoot to one side and make yourself comfortable, wondering if you’re enjoying the side of him that wants to pamper you.

When you’re all tucked in with the blankets underneath your chin, Sunghoon can’t help but lean down and brush a few stray hair strands from your face. He caresses your cheek and holds himself back despite your lips being right in front of him. Instead, he settles for rubbing your soft cheek with his thumb before leaving.

Except, you reach out and grab onto his wrist. “Where are you going?”

His looks back at you in the dim light. “Home, baby. I’ll let you sleep.”

The pout you’re wearing is tearing him limb from limb. “I don’t want you to go home.”

“No?”

You shake your head. “Please…I haven’t seen you at all this week.” Sunghoon hears the strain in your voice and he isn’t sure if you’re awake enough to know what you’re saying. “I-I just want you here with me.”

How could he say no to that?

Sunghoon sits on the empty side of the bed and lets you guide your hand in his bigger one. He watches as you shake your head and he’s about to ask what you mean when you open the blanket.

He feels momentarily guilty when he pulls his hand away from you because he hears you whine again, but he slips off his hoodie to avoid overheating. He’s left in his sweatpants and a loose shirt when sliding into your bed right next to you.

You waste no time and attach yourself to Sunghoon, pushing your body until you’re resting on his chest. He does his best not to let his heartbeat give him away. This is the most he’s ever touched you. At best, he’d brush his hand against yours and waited for the right time to hold it. Today feels like he’s thrown caution into the wind.

Sunghoon puts his glasses on your night table and pulls you close to him, encircling his arms until he finds a comfortable position. Your warm breaths litter his skin and he feels like he could run laps with how happy he is in this moment. You look so cute with your body limp against his. He loves that you’re not hesitant around him anymore and hopes you know just how much he wants you close to him.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Sunghoon says in the dark, unsure if you’re still awake or not.

“What’s your secret?”

Your eyes remain closed, eyelashes covering your beautiful eyes and your cheeks are squished into a pout against his chest. He looks down at you like you’re precious cargo and a rare gem he never wants to let go of.

“I really want to kiss you.”

You don’t say anything. Instead, Sunghoon feels you move your head until you press a kiss against his chest, allowing your lips to linger for a few seconds before reverting back to your original position.

“Kiss me tomorrow.”

Sunghoon hears you snoring soon after.

“Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “I can do that.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

#enhypen x reader #enha x reader #sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x reader #kpop x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fluff #kpop imagines #sunghoon #my writing*

392 notes · View notes

hihhasotherfixations · 6 months ago

Text

I’m thinking about dragon hybrid Price as a dad to little dragon hybrid you.

This is more headcanon style than my usual and a little bit all over the place but I had to get it out because yes >:3

CW: none

Word Count: 1020

Price had always lived a solitary life. Dragon hybrids were relatively rare, and he didn’t exactly go out of his way to find a partner.

Purely by happenstance, he came across another. And almost out of obligation as well as it being mating season, they started a relationship. She quickly fell pregnant, but despite it all, it wasn’t meant to last.

Due to the more solitary nature of dragons, your mother left after you were born. Price didn’t blame her, the two hadn’t been incredibly close after all, only having gotten together during the mating season but not having an amazing connection beyond that. He was grateful she at least communicated her plan in advance so that he could prepare.

But when you were born, oh my. You were everything.

He took you home from the hospital alone, yet before he’d even gotten out of his car and into the house, he knew that a bond had formed that he could never sever.

Dragons were vain and prideful by nature. And for Price? His pride and vanity all poured into you. You were his. His creation, his child. He’d do anything for you, to keep you safe. And if necessary? He would protect you with the world as a shield.

The baby years are tough. Growing horns, wings and fangs is not pleasant. It can hurt and because of it, there are a lot of nights where you’re inconsolable, just crying in his arms as he tries to soothe you.

His wings folding around you seem to work best, creating a sort of cavern-like bubble where his warmth and heartbeat are the main sensations.

But even with that, the growing pains are sometimes too much and the poor captain had to lose sanity in favour of consoling you, rubbing ointment on your horns and massaging your tail and wings the best he could.

Yet the first time he sees your little tail wag when he walks into the baby room to feed you after waking you, all the sleepless nights are worth it.

You were starting to develop into a true dragon.

You stand in your box, holding onto the railing and bouncing excitedly on your feet. Your little horns poking through your unruly mop of hair while your wings are folded on your back.

“Hello, little lizard.” Price smiles, walking over to you. Immediately, you stick up your arms and he takes the hint, grabbing you under your armpits and lifting you up.

Holding you in his arms, he can feel you wiggle, trying to wag your tail - but you can’t.

Because now that your wings have finally started developing in earnest, he has needed to put preventative measures.

Where before your wings were papery and flexible, your tail stumpy and short, now both were getting some volume, the bones in them growing and lengthening - solidifying. And because of it, sleeping becomes dangerous.

In the past, many dragonlings have broken wings or tails by rolling around in their sleep, getting the limbs stuck under themselves and twisting too far.

Because of it, the wing-tail guard was invented. Used to pin said appendages against your body and cushioning them - allowing you to roll to your heart’s content while sleeping.

And now here you sat on his arm, the soft, black coloured cushioning moulded perfectly to fit your wings strapped to your back, your tail stuck between your legs, unable to wiggle or wag it.

“Come on, darling.” Price grinned, setting you down on the changing table and untying the straps, freeing your wings and tail back up.

And when your wings shift and move a little after he takes it off, oh how his heart jumps in excitement.

He’s been so eager, waiting for the day you finally open your wings for the first time.

For most dragonlings it happens around 1,5-2 years old. So you were right around that age.

He tries to encourage you by showing off his own wings. Anytime he has you on his lap, he spreads them wide, and you never fail to be completely mesmerised by it.

Seeing it, he tries to let you know you have your own, to encourage you to use them. He runs his hand down the muscles and bones of your wings, petting them down, getting you used to it by massaging the flesh and muscles, loosening them up.

It takes a lot of coaxing and weeks since you first tried, but finally, you manage to open up your wings and spread them.

And Price couldn’t be more proud.

Your wings are a carbon copy of his, except just a slight shade darker. And he knows that with a lot of training and upkeep, you’ll be just as strong a flier as he is.

Speaking of. Now that you’ve opened your wings for the first time? He can finally take you on your first flight.

Strapped to his chest with a harness, he gently stretches your wings out. It looks a little awkward, to have you dangling from his chest with your wings pancaked between your back and his front, but it’s important to get you used to flying, to using your wings.

The glee and pure joy that radiates off of you when you’re soaring in the clouds is unprecedented. You’re not scared, nervous or hesitant as he feared you might be, no. Instead, you’re kicking your feet, and screeching in delight. You keep tilting your head back to look at your dad and Price grins down at you, uncaring that your horns are stabbing into his sternum as his powerful wings flap, carrying the both of you through the sky.

The 141 know everything about you. Price can’t help himself. As stated before, dragons are proud creatures, and you are his pride.

He cannot help but share with the other most important people in his life.

And oh how they adore you too.

All in all, you are Price’s greatest treasure, and he can’t wait to see you grow up into your own, powerful dragon.

I would love to write more for this. If you want something elaborated or have your own idea and wanna see it written, please drop it in my ask box to give me an excuse to do so! ^^

#this is one of three dad Price fics I’m writing now #john price x reader #captain john price #captain john price x reader #dragon price #john price #price x reader #cod x reader

324 notes · View notes

so-i-did-this-thing · 15 days ago

Note

Hello Nicholas!

I hope this isn't a weird question, but I saw in one of your posts that you used to be in a huge amount of debt and now you're living more comfortably- how did you manage to get out of debt? I feel like every time I start even trying to figure out where to start, it's just all too big to ever get out from under. Do you have any advice for me?

Hope you have a great day!

Hey there! Yes, from about 2007-2010 (before I transitioned), I was making less than $10k/year. I defaulted on all my credit cards, exhausted my retirement, and nearly lost my house. It sucked, and in 2024, I'm finally start to feel somewhat secure. What I learned (assuming living in the US, I also did not have student loan debt):

I had to first figure out the sources of my debt. A big chunk of it was because of bad spending habits due to mental illness (hoarding + retail therapy when I was dysphoric/depressed). Another chunk was from being in an abusive friendship. Another, from being unemployed. And the last, was general capitalism (this was during the housing crisis.)

I started working on improving myself to curb behaviors that led to debt. I started working on my hoarding. I started transition to improve my mental health (had to sell some stuff to afford HRT). It took until 2015 to ditch my abuser, alas.

I started working on new job skills. I swallowed my pride and got an office job after a failed 3-year stint at freelancing. It was shitty, but enough to take care of my income emergencies -- keeping my house out of foreclosure. I got a better job 8 months later. It also sucked and I was in it for 7 years, but eventually changed industries and that's when my career took off. Because with each new job, I've gotten better and better pay.

I started using budgeting software. YNAB is my favorite. I try to account for every single dollar I have.

I started spending smarter. Food was the expense I had the most control over. I went to the salvage grocery store (you can find non-expired stuff if you hunt) and bought the "ugly" produce 1 day away from rotting from the local markets. I actually managed to eat well once I found these grocery stores, and my food bill became a fraction of what it'd been at typical grocery stores. I do wish that I had given food pantries a shot, but I was in denial about my poverty at the time.

I sold a ton of useless crap. I got rid of a good chunk of my nerd "collectibles". I only miss a few things over a decade later.

I negotiated with my debt collectors. I managed to set up payment plans with my credit card companies, condo association, and the IRS. I also did a debt consolidation loan once I qualified and was sure I could commit to the monthly payments. It forced me to be super strict about my budget and for about 5 years I didn't buy much for myself. It sucked, but I cleared a bunch of debt that way.

I got help from my family. I was embarrassed to tell my family about my predicament, but it became impossible to hide. I got help cleaning out my hoard and my mother has gracefully given me generous cash gifts every now and then. Never enough to be life-changing, but enough to give me a mental breather.

I played the credit score game. This one seems counter-intuitive, and requires some self-control about not abusing credit cards. Many people recommend the "snowball" method for paying off cards (pay off your lowest debt asap, then go to the next one), but I went with a "credit utilization" method (bring my highest used cards down to the next utilization level, then move to other cards) so I would see immediate changes in my credit score. What is credit card utilization? It's the percentage of how much of your credit card you're using. A card with a $1,000 limit and $100 on it = 10% utilization. Your credit score changes when you cross the following thresholds: 90%, 70%, 50%, 30%, 10%. Once my credit score started going up past 400 (especially as defaults started falling away), I applied for a secured card. As I started using that better, I applied for a few more cards, then for credit line increases every 6 months. My car insurance rates were tied to my credit score, so as soon as that improved, I switched companies and saved money there.

Mistakes I made:

Being in denial that I was poor. I didn't really look for resources on how to live while in poverty. This hurt me a lot because I ended up neglecting myself out of pride, which made my situation even worse.

Payday loans. I got stuck in the payday cycle for about 8 years. I wish I had sold more stuff or asked family for money to have never needed that initial loan. Once you are in the cycle, it becomes very difficult to get out.

Not going to a food bank.

Not asking for help sooner. And not just financial help.

Not getting out of abusive situations sooner. This is hard, and I sympathize with anyone in a similar position. But if you think it's time to move on, trust your gut - don't sacrifice yourself for people who don't care about you.

Ignoring debt collectors, because I was too afraid to negotiate for a plan. The IRS was so patient with me in the end, even after defaulting twice on plans.

Not considering getting a roommate to reduce costs, or not thinking of doing more things like shared meals with my fellow poor friends. Again, denial and pride. Humility is not a bad word and I wished I had learned it sooner.

Not changing jobs sooner. Curbing my hoarding and getting a better job are responsible for about 90% of me being where I am financially today.

Getting out of debt is a marathon. It took over a decade for me, and I am *still* feeling the sting of poverty. I wish you the best of luck. Folks are welcome to tack on specific tricks and strategies -- this is just a general outline of my particular journey.

#chit chat #my most toxic traits at the time were individualism and stoicism and by god they nearly killed me

133 notes · View notes

verstarppen · 3 months ago

Text

A THANK YOU LETTER

an apology and update! for all you beautiful people - 2 for the price of 1

hello! over the months i've written and deleted this letter because i was too much of a coward to show my face after i left. i contemplated if it would be adequate enough, if it even matters. At the end, i owe this fandom too much, so here it is:

THE APOLOGY

i am truly sorry. there's no better way of putting it.

the more i create the more i realise how this fandom held my hand and i simply wouldn't be the person i am now if this blog never existed. i've always struggled with sharing art and writing online, as i thought it was too lame and took the coward route of keeping it to myself and my closest friends.

ever since this blog, i've found that less of an issue. the more i think about how much i let you and myself down by disappearing the more i feel the shame weigh me down. i never wanted to leave, but life has this funny way of forcing your hand when you least expect it.

without getting too personal, this year hasn't been great for me or anyone close to me - friendships died, family members were hospitalised, university crushed me, expectations from everyone around me made me question if i'm failing in every aspect of my life, i lost passions like art - something i've always thought of as my dream career, and i fear the stress will only grow rather than die down.

in some of those harder moments i would always turn to a distraction, create something for a fandom i enjoy to get my mind off things. to see your comments and your messages always kept me going even when i physically couldn't take the stress of everything around me anymore. being busy made my flame for F1 dwindle, too. it's one of the main reasons i didn't return earlier. I've missed half the races this year, yes that includes both lando and oscar's wins, and although im looking forward to the summer break ending and the racecs coming back, i don't think the enthusiasm will ever return to the way it was when this blog was at its peak.

i feel like a coward for disappearing and it's a big regret of mine this year. i can't promise to write for F1 again, but what i've made will always be archieved here :)

THE UPDATE

not great. i can't even lie i'm not doing too hot right now. i promised i would return to writing when things finally calmed down and yet the more stress there was the more one off projects i made to combat it. throughout the months i've accumulated a lot of side projects for different fandoms like star wars, star trek, dc, merlin and lesser known fandoms such as heavy rain, mortal kombat, the sims (no seriously have you seen the lore) etc. that i have nowhere to post. in april i decided i can't afford (literally) to distract myself with any hobby projects for the sake of my situation and thus... i was an idiot and i deleted my ao3 account. there weren't that many stories on there anyway, but i regret it even if it was the right decision.

i owe @wtfisakilometer2 so much for telling me that the people who love the blog wouldn't mind what fandom it is as long as it's by me, even if i don't fully believe it. it did open my eyes to finally write this, though, so direct all your love to her.

so that leaves me here, sort of homeless on my own blog and with very conflicting feelings about it's direction. i intend to preserve it as an archive of my F1 writing without messing with it, but still let you know about my new ao3 and everything on it so i can keep both our interests in mind.

thank you for reading if you made it this far, i hope you have an awesome day and a lot of cat memes in your pinterest. thank you for all the lovely messages (i read everything) and thank you for everything this fandom has offered me. i will truly never get over you guys.

- star :)

#star apology vid when #thank you if you read this #verstarppen is dead party #verstarppen has spoken #im still down bad for max dw that's something im NEVER getting over i fear

114 notes · View notes

nevernonline · 5 months ago

Text

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #22 end it all.

synopsis: over the past ten years you’ve fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it’s clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex’s, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

word count: 5.7k (some texts in between writing as well)

masterlist��▸ 021 we're so back. ▸ 023 signing off for now. (coming soon)

Y/N sat waiting for this moment for the past 24 hours, sitting around on Mingaho’s couch, his carpet in the living room, the floor of the shower, literally any spot you can name when he wasn’t at work or out with their friends. Which was a luxury she couldn't afford as of yet.

Mimi hurt her deep and it wasn’t just her she was hurting anymore. It was everyone around her. Somehow y/n didn’t even care enough about her own wellbeing to do anything prior to the incidents with Minnie and her further threats towards her male counterparts. It hurt her to see the people she loved despite some bumps in the road hurting more than she was.

Even though Mimi had single handedly been the issue in her life for many years she still couldn't figure out a way to hurt her back. Of course she could publicly embarrass her, call her family, fall in love with a boy that Mimi once wanted for herself, but it wouldn’t be enough, nothing would ever feel enough to get rid of her. Well, other than murder and y/n wasn’t ready to give up one weird fucked up version of prison to get the real one. Some part of her even wanted to just say fuck it and give Mimi friendship in hopes of all of this fading away even though she knew it none of it would be enough.

Laying her forehead on the clean glass of Minghao’s coffee table, she took in a big ass sigh just waiting for the clock to hit 5:00pm when she’d finally be in her confrontational mode. Nipping (hopefully) all of this shit in the bud.

“y/n?”

Mingaho walked through the arched threshold of his house, the secret house apparently nobody had been too other than her. Standing in front of her staining his coffee table momentarily with her makeup, just looking at her with his concerned eyes, somehow still as statuesque as ever.

“Yes?”

All she could come up with was a simple response, wiping her stain not so secretly with the sleeve of her gray sweatshirt.

“I got you some food, come on.”

“Does this food happen to start with a “W” and end with a ‘INE?’ Or anything involving a content higher than zero?”

“Do the letters THC sound okay?”

“Wow, yes three of my favorites.”

Minghao led her into the kitchen, still holding a grip on her arm from his helping her off the floor. Sitting her down at his overly modern kitchen table, where he set her lunch complete with a napkin that had a knife, fork, and rolled up joint sitting on it like it was meant to be used for her to shovel the various dishes into her mouth.

“A real Ramsay.”

“I do take pride in my plating and table setting.”

“Did you roll it yourself?”

Minghao waved his fingers to her, catching a slight smile from the girl as she beamed at the hello kitty themed rolling paper he had ordered online.

“Feeling okay?”

“Despite everything, yeah. I’m just ready to get rid of her at least for a while.”

“Still not going to tell me what you planned or?”

“No, sir. Out of the question.”

“Ah, come on, I can keep a secret.”

“I used to think that, but you’re friends with Jun now, he’d still find out.”

“No way.”

“How do you think I knew you had a garden in the back of your place, he stalked you. He’s impressive.”

“And not scary at all.”

“He’s harmless.”

The pair ate the rest of their meal in silence not knowing how to continue the conversations they had been having recently, both in the same frame of mind and their end goal in sight. Minghao couldn’t lie that Y/n keeping him in the dark about what her plan was wasn’t making him nervous, he had built up a protectiveness to her, something he’d never experienced with any of his other friends. He knew that she could handle herself, but it still didn’t ease his anxiety further.

“Hey, what time is it?”

Mingaho just looked up at her, unaware she had been trying to ask him a question as he was in his own head.

“Oh, uh. 4:30.”

“Alright. Hand me your lighter and let me get a hit in before I have to dress for revenge.”

Mingaho just laughed, handing over the black electric lighter to her across the table, being careful to not touch her fingers and go back into his trance.

He had been doing good the past few days, not intruding on her space with his feelings to much, keeping it just how she wanted it, just friends. Hopefully, for him that just meant until she got the whole Mimi thing handled.

Y/n took a deep exhale and blew the smoke behind her to not get it into Minghao’s space. The pair's phones lit up at the same time, letting them know it was time to meet up for hopefully the finale.

Minnie and Y/n stepped outside of Mingyu’s black car, weirdly the perfect car for their bondess actions, not quite matching their casual outfits to their gut feelings. Minnie linked arms with y/n as they walked up to Mimi’s apartment, waiting for their meeting of the devil they both know.

“Honestly, I’m surprised she lives here? I thought she had a good job?”

“Last I heard she did? Some sort of social management or something?”

“Perfect for her huh? Managing other people's lives.”

“Yeah, but this.. Don't tell that truth.”

“Maybe she was lying?”

“Or y/n, maybe it’s a set up?”

“No. I don’t think so. Her name is on the call box.”

“This is becoming even more bizarre than I would’ve thought in the first place, ring the buzzer.”

“Minnie, you ring the buzzer.”

“Why would I ring the buzzer? You have longer fingers than me, less chance of being electrocuted or something, plus you have long sleeves you can wrap your hand in. They must protect you from that stuff too, right?”

“I don’t know? I’m scared to ring the buzzer. What if she puts some sort of magic powder on it and it turns me into a frog or something, I hate frogs.”

“Why don’t we both ring the buzzer at the same time and then if there's a chance that she is some weird witch then we both turn into preferably not frogs but maybe cats or something?”

“Well the witch thing is true. Okay, together.. Uh, ready?”

“Sure.”

Minnie and Y/n reached their pointer fingers together closer to the buzzer of apartment 4C that apparently belonged to their mutual enemy. When they made contact with the sticky silver knob they both jumped as the door unlocked, Mimi must have been waiting for their arrival right next to her intercom.

“Okay.. Call me a snob or whatever y/n but this place is, uh-”

“Not what you were expecting?”

“Right.”

“Me either.”

The girls walked through the courtyard following the signs on the side of the bricks that would lead them to the staircase up to the fourth floor to find Mimi standing outside with her door cracked, watching them timidly walk towards her.

“I see you guys have no respect for other people's time still, you’re ten minutes late.”

Y/n looked down at her watch.

“Actually, we’re right on time, see?”

She shoved her electronic apple watch screen with the exact time running across.

“My mistake, I guess. Want to come in or are we just going to talk out here? Maybe the best idea considering you guys probably have some insane plan to tie me up and poison me or something.”

“Why would we waste prison time on you exactly?”

“Touche, Minnie. Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Minnie and Y/n gave each other a look of disbelief as they walked into her apartment, clothes strung around everywhere, a board with thumbtacks of documents, pictures of her dog, some weird excerpts from fashion magazines. Her laptop plugged into a wall socket paused on a scene from 13 going on 30, dirty coffee mugs staining on her side table. Definitely not the place she assumed Mimi was living, especially since Y/n knew her parents were unbelievably well off.

“You guys can just sit on the couch or at the desk, it doesn't matter. Just throw the clothes on the floor. They should be clean, but I’m not sure.”

“Is this your apartment? Like, full time or?”

“Yes, y/n. Laugh all you want, but this is my apartment.”

“What happened to-”

“To the luxury one? Well after my parents found out about some of the things I’ve done, they cut me off. Luckily my job had a way for me to find vacant places I could actually afford considering I spent all my money on clothes the entire time I was working for my dad, so I had no savings. That’s how.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry? That’s all you guys can say is sorry? After you basically ruined my life? You’re both part of the reason I’m here right now.”

“What the fuck? How are we responsible for this exactly?”

“Well, Minnie. Since you so kindly asked. You know exactly why. Your parents told mine that I am a quote bully unquote to poor sad Y/n who gets everything she wants, so I blame you for that.”

“You blame us for the way you obsessively have been trying to ruin y/n’s life for years?”

“Ruin her life? Please, what life?”

“What life? Are you like.. Doing well? On drugs? Hitting your vape pen a little too much and losing all your brain cells or?”

“Come on, Minnie. Don’t tell me you actually think her leeching off other people and making them feel sorry for her to get them to hangout with her is actually having a life? Half of you guys are just her barking dogs because she’s too much of a pussy to call people out herself. Even now, you’re here with her fighting with me over a comment I made about y/n. Barking little dog. Seokmin too, just absolutely blind to the fact that she’s a shitty friend to him while he’s picking up all her broken pieces over and over again. She can’t even get a fucking boyfriend, all the boys she’s ever loved have fallen for her best friends over her, Me and Joshua, now you and Mingyu, I wonder who’s going to come and scoop Minghao up from under her considering she’s never going to give him wha-”

“God can you stop being a fucking cunt for one second? What the fuck have I EVER done to you to make you say this shit about me? What? Tell your parents that you were recklessly drunk driving? You almost killed my father? You paralyzed a woman from the waist down? But, you left completely unscathed, no injuries aside from a little vomit and a paper cut sized gash on your hand because your vodka bottle shattered into the steering wheel as you drove into oncoming traffic? Tried for years to get Joshua to see that the type of person you are isn’t who he sees, that you were brainwashing him? Fuck. I even left and signed your stupid fucking note claiming I was doing all of this for attention, left my life, my friends, took time off of work, just because I needed you to stop trying to take it over and just wanted to give it to you so I never had to see you ever again. You think I actually want to sit here and look at how you’re living just so I can feel good about myself? No, it doesn’t make me feel good, Mimi. I don’t think this would make anyone feel good. But, unfortunately it’s karma. Karma for all those goddamn years of you poking and prodding and sticking daggers in my back until I finally bleed out completely and give you what you want. Well it’s fucking done, it’s over.”

“What’s over, y/n? Huh. You think you’re actually going to win? Over me?”

“Hah. I don’t care. Don’t you see that? I don’t fucking care anymore. I want you to get the fuck and stay the fuck away from me for a good long time. If you ever pull any of this shit again, you won’t just have a shitty apartment, you’ll have a shitty jail cell.”

Y/n stood up now itching in closer to where Mimi was standing, leaving Minnie sitting with a shocked look on her face, almost proud.

“What? Coming close to me so you can punch me or something?”

“No. But, thanks for the idea.”

Y/n took one last look into Mimi’s face before taking a deep breath in.

“Stay the fuck out of my life. Leave my friends alone. Get a different hobby or you’ll get a very unfriendly visit from me accompanied by a few police officers coming to search your apartment and I’m sure you’ll love the new pretty set of silver jewelry they put on your wrists, matching cuffs are super in right now.”

Y/n then pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her purse, walking away from standing in Mimi’s face, placing it under a thumbtack on her board.

“Should get you a couple more trips to the laundry room, you could use it. Let’s go Minnie. Thanks for having us, Mimi. Your place is delightful.”

Minnie got off the couch turning to follow y/n out, but turning back around just as quickly to look at Mimi feeling her rage build in her stomach.

“Wait, I think I forgot something.”

“What’s that?”

Minnie lifted her right hand and laid a slap that could’ve been heard across town on Mimi’s cheek, making her gasp in pain.

“Have a nice life, bitch.”

Y/n and Minnie stayed nearly silent, running down the staircase from Mimi’s apartment and all through the courtyard back through the front doors and into Mingyu’s car.

He wasn’t sure what they were thinking or even what they did, he just drove away without a word until the two girls made eye contact and started hysterically laughing, talking so loud in between their laughing breaths he couldn’t even make out a coherent sentence.

“I cannot believe you did that, the delivery was SO good.”

“What about you y/n? That speech, I mean that was cinema worthy, what the hell. I feel so proud of you after I finish laughing I might just cry? Also you tacking down the twenty dollars on the cork board was such a slap in the face.”

“Oh my god, nothing like your actual slap in the face? I have so much adrenaline right now I feel like I could run a fucking marathon.”

“Ew, no don’t do that. Let’s go get a drink at my place. Come on.”

“Mingyu? Drink?”

“Yes, of course. And I’ll need a full run down once the two of you stop laughing like two little girls, please.”

“Shut up, you love us.”

“Right.”

Mingyu smiled at the pair just laughing and giggling in the rearview mirror. Pulling his car into the parking lot of Minnie’s apartment, very different scenery than the one they just were at.

“Wow, you know I just realized I’ve never seen your new place yet?”

“Oh my god, I totally forgot about that, it's really cute. I’m trying to convince this tall bitch to move in with me.”

“And what’s holding you back, Gyu?”

“Nothing actually, I was going to tell her yes, might as well do it now while you guys are still on your high.”

Y/n stopped in her tracks and held Minnie's arm, prompting them to jump up and down and scream slightly.

“Wow, who would’ve thought THE Minnie Pinnie would have a MAN living with her. And her boyfriend at that, so adult.”

“Hate to break it to you y/n, but we are adults.”

“Psh, I know. “

“Okay, so let’s go up to my apartment first, I can lend you some clothes especially since you literally just sat on Mimi’s dirty laundry and weirdly stained couch, and we can wash yours.”

“Sounds good to me, thank you my princess.”

“Anytime, King Y/n.”

“King? Excuse.”

“It just came to me. Mingyu, do you mind grabbing the ice bucket and some wine and bringing it up to the roof? We’ll come in a few minutes.”

“On it.”

Minnie dragged y/n through her apartment, room by room, showing her all the new things she acquired to decorate, even though some of them are partially out of boxes waiting for their time to be hung up on the newly painted white walls.

“Here, this was actually meant to be your birthday gift, but obviously we got distracted. Open it, open it, open it.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I did, I haven’t missed an y/n gift giving experience in a decade, come on.”

“If anything I should be the one buying you a gift.”

“My gift was slapping that bitch, hard, hurry please, I have to pee.”

“Okay, okay.”

Y/n tore through the tissue paper inside the pink bag, grabbing a hold of a garment inside and pulling it out, a silk black mid length dress with a matching black knit shawl on top. Something she remembers pointing out to Minnie through a car window months ago. Months before Mimi had entered their life again.

“Oh my god, you didn’t.”

“Hello? Of course I did, have you met me? Try it on while I pee, be right back.”

Y/n took this silk fabric between her fingers and placed it carefully on the back of Minnies desk chair, sliding out of her jeans and t shirt and into the soft buttery fabric of her new dress, pulling the shrug over her arms and shoulders twirling a little, already wishing for somewhere to wear it.

“Oh wow, y/n”

Y/n walked over to Minnie with outstretched arms, hugging her tightly as another thank you and confirmation that she loved her gift.

“I’m sorry we fought, I’m really sorry for everything, especially that you got hurt. I love you, Min.”

“I’m sorry too, but it's over now, we’re perfect. Can I do your hair just so we can see how it’ll look with the dress?”

“Yeah, sure. What about, Gyu?”

“Ah, he’s fine, he has beer and a phone he can entertain himself well for ten more minutes, sit down.”

Y/n obliged and sat down at the desk once again, letting Minnie brush her hair into a ponytail, slipping bobby pins in it, she was totally blind to what had been happening to the back of her head, Minnie came to her side brushing her bangs back and pinning them too into a perfect slicked back bun, topped off with a large black scrunchie as a hair accessory.

“Okay, go look.”

Y/n stood in the mirror, taking a long look at herself, some sort of light came back into her eyes, she looked almost happy.

“You made me look good, now please sweatpants.”

“No, you’re wearing this, I just put in all that work.”

“But, you’re in sweats?”

“I’ll change too, like a cute cheers to us killing a vampire.”

Y/n smiled as Minnie very pixie floated around her room and grabbed a cute outfit to toss on very quickly all the while handing Y/n a few lip glosses and eyeshadow pallets touch her makeup up, and in five minutes she came out looking like an angel.

“Drink time?”

“Please.”

Minnie and Y/n walked back out the front door and up the single flight of stairs to the rooftop, little did y/n know lying behind the door to the sunset were the rest of her friends, here to makeup for her birthday one last time.

“Can we be up here? Sounds like someone is having a party?”

“Yes, y/n. You are.”

“I am? I am what?”

“Having a party stupid.”

“You didn’t”

“Like I said before, of course I did. Let’s celebrate, come on.”

The two of them pushed open the door to a cheer of people, Mingyu smiling holding his glass of beer next to Wonwoo and Vernon who clapped as Y/n and Minnie ran through the door, Minghao sitting next to Jun, trying to push off his affectionate hug, Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seokmin huddling around each other next to the snacks cheersing the two girls who came outside. A few of y/n’s other various friends are smiling and taking sips of their cocktails.

“I must be really dense? You had this all planned?”

“Duh. I can’t believe you didn’t catch on. Now go, my beautiful friend. Have some drinks, I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

“Fine.”

Y/n was waved off as Minnie made her way over to Mingyu, jumping into his arms, waving to the boys he was sitting with. Y/n couldn’t help but smile seeing her friends so happy, she walked on her own looking over the city to the bar on the corner of the roof and grabbed the first clear cocktail she could get a hold of before turning around to find Seokmin smiling at her like a lost puppy.

“Hi.”

“Hello, lovely lady. How did it go with Mimi?”

“Seokmin.”

“Noo, no Seokmin, it’s over now I get to know what happened, that's the rule.”

“Then can we make a deal? Let me finish at least three cocktails and THEN we can talk about Mimi, but a hint that it went perfectly.”

“Good, come sit with us.”

Seokmin picked up two more drinks and led Y/n over to a spot to sit in between himself and Jeonghan, she gladly nuzzled in between them, Joshua sitting across from her just smiling shyly, clearly not knowing how to insert himself again into a conversation after the one they had at her house, the tension was obvious but hopefully with the help of her friends he would get comfortable around her again while she made up her mind.

“Happy Late Birthday, y/n. I missed you.”

“Thank you, Hannie. I missed you too.”

y/n wrapped her arm around him tightly after their hug letting it still rest around his shoulders, drinking away as he and Seokmin explained their crazy night out that somehow involved jumping off the pier after losing a bet with some girls at a bar.

Y/n couldn’t help herself looking between Joshua and Minghao all night, almost like she was trying to force her eyes into making the decision for her. She knew in her gut what she actually wanted, but also wasn’t ready to hurt someone in the process.

But, something about standing up for herself today made her realize a part of what Mimi was saying was true, maybe she did use people to make choices for her, maybe she was always too scared to admit how she felt because she was scared of the rejection that came with it, that’s why she chose to hide it away with pen and paper, obviously never thinking those things would come out.

Her feelings for Joshua were nearly life long, she remembered when he didn’t feel like her friend anymore and moved himself into the painful crush category. Ever since fifth grade she couldn’t stop having feelings for him, all through high school, his stint with Mimi, even after he said and did terrible things to her, she did them back so it was an even playing field. When she first lost her virginity, when she was seeing Mingyu, and even now. Joshua was so evident in her DNA from her childhood, it wasn’t really easy to shake him from her mind.

Only one person had done it, Minghao. She didn’t always trust him or his intentions, which turned out to make sense once he had come clean, but she knew from the night he spent at her apartment, when he asked about her life, her photos. Even the simple things about him made her like him more, the way he’s always so engaged in her stories, never looking away from her eyes or her lips as she spoke, never using his phone when he’s with her only to take photos or show her a song that reminded him of her, writing down the movies she suggests just so he can understand her weird references she makes. He was a caretaker, someone who never questioned her, never made her feel less than, he always knew how to make her happy when she didn’t want to be. He fought for her, the same way she did for her friends.

After her two drinks dried up and much of her conversations were lost on her picking her brain of how to make a choice between two worthy candidates, she got up to use the restroom, heading back down to Minnie’s place, on the way back out she ran into Minghao coming into the front door to pick up another case of beer to bring upstairs, he put it down and let her pass by, giving her hand a small squeeze and a smile without saying anything. Subtle but effective, he let her know he’d be right behind her on the way up.

“Those are all for you I assume?”

“No, you know I don’t drink beer. Mingyu is a little drunk so I offered to come down and grab it for him, I didn’t want him to get hurt.”

“How very chivalrous of you.”

Minghao put the case down and pulled a few out to pop into the cooler, grabbing a bottle of wine and an opener, waving y/n along to the otherside of the roof where only a few people were sitting and smoking.

“Let’s share that birthday drink I owed you last time.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m going to steal this blanket, hold on.”

Y/n walked over to a couple sitting at a small table smoking a joint, holding hands lovingly watching the sunset. Minghao noticed her bright smile as she talked and waved to them while stealing the stray gray blanket from the open chair and skipping back over to Minghao covering them both up as she saw on the plush floor cushion.

“That’s Mark, the guy I work for. I think I told you about him before. He’s super nice, he’s planning on proposing to her tonight. Maybe we’ll see it happen.”

“That would be cute.”

Minghao smiled at y/n’s eyes, lighting up talking about their proposal. He noticed they did that alot when she would talk about people being happy. It was one of the things he liked the most about her.

“So, Swan.”

“Yes, Mungbean?”

“How was she?”

“Ah, the subtle approach, I love it.”

“Well, the place she's living in was sort of alarming at first. It’s totally fine, but not what I had expected, especially since last time I saw her she said she was living in some highrise just a few blocks over from here, actually. I guess it’s all she can afford because her parents cut her off for what she’s doing, she tried to blame me and Minnie, but we didn’t even say anything to them this time? Obviously, someone did.. Maybe Joshua or his mom? Not sure.”

“Well, that’d be kind of silly for you guys to tattle on her like she's a child.”

“Right. That’s exactly what I thought. Even if she does act like a child sometimes.”

“What else happened? You guys just talked?”

“I wouldn’t say it was talking, it was more of a shouting match at first. But it felt good to finally stick up for myself and not let someone else do it for me.”

“So, she’s fine with it? Going to leave you alone?”

“I threatened her with handcuffs.”

“Kinky.”

“No, the police kind. I said if she ever tried any shit ever again I would come over and her small world would become a small jail cell, something like that.”

Minghao laughed, picturing y/n upset, yelling at the girl who made her life hell as he poured them both another glass of wine, halfway through their bottle and moment alone already.

“Surprised she didn’t try to rip your hair out or something. So you guys really just went over to talk?”

“ No, not exactly, we did have more of an elaborate plan, but we got side tracked. Oh! And I tacked a twenty dollar bill to her board and said she needs to use it to do laundry which turned her face so red I thought she was about to, but Minnie slapped her instead and we ran off.”

“What?”

“The last part again?”

“I know, I was so shocked I knew Minnie was a feisty bitch but I did NOT expect the slap it was so perfect. We laughed the entire way back here about it.”

Minghao laughed, picturing the two girls running away childlike after Minnie finally let their bully have it. It seemed like the type of thing he wished they had gotten on camera.

“But, yeah, nothing more than that. Just a bunch of girls fighting and slapping each other, something weird people on the internet would pay a lot of money for I think.”

“Too bad you wasted your twenty on her.”

“I can spare it, I think. Plus, she did have a lot of dirty laundry.”

“Do you feel better now? I mean, less stressed about it? Because I was worried about you today, you looked like you were going to scream at any second.”

“Yes, so much better. Thank you for this and for dinner and for letting me stay at your place, it was so nice seeing where you actually live, I was beginning to think you were some type of woodland creature at night or something.”

“A woodland creature?”

“Yeah, just you never showed anyone where you lived before. I don’t know? It’s really beautiful though, you should have people over more often, it's so cozy.”

“You could move in.”

“What?”

“No, I just mean. I know you were afraid in your apartment alone after a while and I have the space, I mean you could have an office and a bedroom all to yourself, I don’t mean like-”

“Are you ever going to ask me out?”

“What? I-”

“No. I mean. I’d like to go out with you, I’d say yes. We’ve moved faster in all the other steps and we’ve never really been on an actual date, so.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to ask you out?”

“I thought I was the oblivious one.”

“Oh, I-”

“I mean at my parents house when we went outside, I thought you almost did. But, you never actually said anything. And I like spending time with you, just alone. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing or special, just us hanging out, unless you want to do something fancy? You’re kind of fancy. I like that. We kind of were getting to the maybe dating part before your art show, but that went to shit and I was dumb and went on a date with Joshua, which I’m sorry about by the way, that's complicated, but I don’t have feelings for him anymore like that, I have feelings for you. So? I’m talking too much, right?”

“You’re not no.”

“So? Yes? Unless you don’t have feelings for me which then makes this incredibly weird and we can just be friends. At least think about it. I-”

“Y/n.”

“No, really just give it a few days. I’ve never asked anyone out before so this is weird, plus someone who’s my friends and friends with my friends, so.”

Minghao took his hand and covered y/n’s mouth for a second just to get her attention back to him and stop her rambling so he can finally get a word in through her rant.

“Hey.”

“Y/n, I do like you. I thought that was obvious. I thought you just wanted to be friends.”

“I thought you just wanted to be friends.”

“I mean I like being your friend, but I’d like to go out with you. Thinking about staying your friend while I’ve liked you all this time and then watching you date someone else would probably kill me a little. So, yes I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, please.”

MInghao took y/n's hand, holding it tightly while he set their glasses of wine down in front of them and pulled her in for a small kiss on her stained lips.

“The music started, should we go dancing?”

“Shouldn’t we plan our date?”

“That’s up to you, Mr. Minghao. I expect it to be nothing less than fabulous.”

“Wait, but you asked me out, shouldn't you be planning it?”

“Is that how it works?”

“Normally.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Really, y/n. No, I can plan it.”

“No. I’m planning. Now come on, let’s dance please.”

Y/n pulled Minghao up from the ground, running with him to find the rest of their friends on the dance floor, never letting his hand fall from hers almost like a claim.

Y/n and her friends spent the rest of the night, talking and laughing. Minnie told the story about the slap heard around the world to every separate group of people she talked to.

When it was finally time to leave, y/n and Minghao hopped in a cab to his place. A place that someday, if things go right could be theirs together.

When they finally shut the outside world away and got ready for bed, y/n glanced at the various mentions online from her friends, pictures, tweets, instagram posts, and some texts. But, one of them stuck out the most, a text from someone, an anonymous number she never had contacted before something that made her hair stand up on the nape of her neck.

note: hi! hope u enjoy this final written chapter, the next (two?) lil insert(s) will just to be finishing up this story and then we will be onto the next which I hope you'll all enjoy just as much!! have a good weekend my angel bb's :')

taglist:@sun-daddy-yoriichi@hipsdofangirl@kissesfrmwonwoo@minhui896@wonwooz1@porridgesblog@jasssy051@soonyoungblr@saucegirlreads@musingsofananxiouspotato@young-adult-summer@punkhazardlaw@bibs-world@the-swageyama-tobiyolo@wonuulvr@woozixo@k-drama-adict@90s-belladonna@blaycke@dnylwoo@to-mi-yo, @nonononranghaee@bee-the-loser@mxnhoeuwu

66 notes · View notes

oukabarsburgblr · 5 months ago

Note

Hello! I am new, and wanted to ask 3 things for you:

1.) Is Daichi a type of yandere, and why is he obsessed with the reader?

2.) Are you maybe interested in writing JJK?

3.) Can I be 🎃 anon?

-🎃 Have nice day studying/whatever your busy doing, keep up the good work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Hello there and 3) yes u can be 🎃 anon, reminds me of that one game kubz scouts played for days on end. Pumpkin race? The one with the time that he tried to one up haha

1) to be honest, its been a while since i wrote that fanfiction and ever since then ive been focusing on my ocs so much hshsh. I do think daichi can be classified as a psychopath. A yandere? I wouldnt say he loves the reader (during his third year) and i could say for a fact even he acknowledges he doesnt harbor romantic feelings for the reader until much later (after the training camp shenanigan) however, he did harvest some type of attraction to the reader. An unhealthy one. Where the dynamic is between an object and an owner? Not a pet or a partner, but an object instead. Something he can switch on and off, mold into his liking and reader just so happened to be a perfect victim for it. Although he does grow to be fond of you, ever since how obedient you became. So many screaming nights passed in your house.

Now came the question of why? Why did he do all of this? Why did he instigate it the second the reader came into his view? I tried explaining it in the second part of the fic. Sugawara and Asahi would have treated reader like any other first year if it werent for Daichi. Maybe suga a bit sociopathic but daichi was the match that started the flame.

I think it came from the canon fact that Daichi was the rock of the team, their anchor, their foundation. I thought of him as someone youd look up to, youd rely on but there had to be days where he wasnt feeling himself right? Where he finds all of them a tad bit annoying, but that wouldnt be nice, they were his friends after all. And you came into the picture. On a bad day, where he just felt shitty and you suddenly came stumbling into the club, making a ruckus, curse words from your mouth scratching his eardrums and a thought slipped his mind where he found you so fucking annoying. However, it wouldnt be fair to thrust all that negative energy onto you so he did what he could, ignoring you until he could cool himself down. Maybe the day after he could find himself talking to you again. Wrong. He still finds you annoying and rude. Then there was this urge that came from deep within his stomach, this feral desire to grasp at you, clench at your face, pulling your skin back so you would behave- Too much blood so no can do. He still found you annoying though, hence, the snowball rolls where he decided to just change you. Sugawara and Asahi was a massive help, pinning you into the corner until he had you cumming around his finger.

If given the chance, where there would be no repurcussions, no trace of any evidence whatsoever, Daichi Sawamura would have murdered you, killing you in cold blood and burying your body deep within the mountains. A heavy burden would lift from his shoulders and he felt like the world would work his way again. But there was no solid plan for it so he never took the chance nor thought to.

Can you tell that Daichi is my favourite? Hahaha ive said this like three times now. I loveeeee him.

2) would i ever write jjk! One of my favourite readers have requested a satosugu x bottom male reader in my inboxes and i will consider but heres the thing.

I dont watch jjk😭

Well, i did, until i dropped it. I think it was at episode 20+ on season 1. I used to be a huge shounen person but now im a slice of life fan (although they can be quite boring sometimes) i guess im more into thrillers but in a normal setting? But i know jjk characters.

I used to have an obsession w sukuna haha. Ik maki, ik zenin naoya, ik todo aoi, like ik them and ik what happened to them (rip nanami) but idk i think i have to get hooked on really well for me to watch jjk so that i can write it. We'll see deffo! But i plan to watch chainsaw man first hshshs

#oukabarsburg #bottom male reader #sub male reader #male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu #yandere haikyuu

54 notes · View notes

sh1-n0bu · 2 years ago

Note

hello! sorry if this kind of an obscure request but could i request scara with s/o reader that’s a shut in/only leaves the house once or twice a month? reader isn’t depressed or anything, just antisocial and prefers hanging out inside all day. i think scara would be great company and would really benefit from the chance to come over after a long day and decompress while playing video games with reader <33

✿ 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 ✿

characters: scaramouche x nb!reader

warnings: fluff, a bit of crack, light angst, scara being worried and actually showing emotions and freely expressing them🙀, modern au❗️

notes: being an introvert who has to be forcefully dragged outside, felt. 'm sorry for the late response anon😔 this one might be a tad bit shorter than my other sfw works.

sometimes, the bowl cut haired young man just can't help but be incredibly worried for his partner. they barely go out of their shared apartment unless it's absolutely necessary, most of the time they keep their blinds shut, they barely interact with anyone unless it's the weekly calls with close friends and family and the monthly hanging out with their little group of friends.

yep, he's concerned.

during their years of dating and living together, he never really saw any "ticks". anything that would indicate they're depressed, suicidal, tired of the world or him. yet he keeps getting more and more concerned but also relieved when daily checking the medicine cabinet and the little stash of sharp small objects.

if they're not feeling down in the dumps, then why are they always staying inside? do they not get tired of constantly seeing the same place, colored walls, decorations and the same boring, mundane shows and movies over and over again? if scaramouche was in his lover’s position he would’ve went mad a long time ago.

don’t get the short, young man wrong! he enjoys his own personal time and space as well! a bit too much to be exact but he also enjoys going out and getting a fresh breath of air, a scenery change alongside a nice midnight walk.

the kind of slow steps, stop by every minute or two to watch the quieting city life type of midnight walk.

the kind of walk that you could drop by the little corner supermarket run by the nice lady and her husband alongside their young, delivery man and buy a few snacks of your taste with an additional ones for your lover.

the kind of walk which you just breathe in all of the sweetness, the crispy smell of the midnight food vendor, hear the chiming of bells of the cat cafe closing in for the night which is right down the streets.

the kind of walk that makes you feel alive.

that’s it! scaramouche has had enough! he will go home, sit down his lovely darling and talk things out because he’s pretty sure that some strands of his hair is starting to whiten from overthinking!

oh wait, he always had a few strands of a lighter shade of hair at the back of his head- but this was not the point!

after fumbling with his keys and the many cute and adorable little knitted key charms gifted to him by his darling dearest, the young man finally opened the door to their shared apartment and announced his arrival. letting out a soft grunt followed by a chuckle and a short lived smooch! he took off his coat, half-heartedly hanging it inside the closet before gently grasping his lovers’ hand and leading themselves to sit on the kitchen table, ignoring the hungry wails of his stomach.

“i have been thinking about this for a very long time [name] and i don’t want you to take this in the wrong way.” taking in a deep breath to calm his nerves and anticipation for the answer that would slip out of his darling’s lips, scaramouche looked straight back at them with a quivering look. “are you okay?”

“yes? i‘m not laying in bed, groaning about wanting to get better or whining about the taste of medicine aren’t i dear?” letting out a low laugh, his partner took his hand in theirs. easily enveloping his smaller hands in theirs all the while rubbing slow circles into his skin, lightly digging into the pale skin to ease his nervousness.

they understood. they understood everything.

why he was worried, why his voice had the faintest bits of cracks when he asked that question, why his eyes were quivering, why his hands which were cradled in theirs was shaking slightly.

perhaps it was a bit of a fault on their side for never telling scaramouche of their greatly introverted self and habits. perhaps it was because they never truly got into too much personal or serious conversations.

bringing his still trembling, pale hands up to their lips [name] left a gentle kiss on his knuckle. trailing the kiss over his visible bones and onto his other hand, hearing the male let out a sigh of what seems to be relief.

“‘m sorry for not exactly explaining to you how much i enjoy spending my time inside, dear. i didn’t meant to scare you in any sort of way. promise.” leaving one final kiss on the knuckle of his left hand’s pinky, you raised your head up to look at him once again.

when your eyes met, the misty blue eyed man let out another sigh before pulling your hands up to his lips to return the sweet gesture. carefully, gently and almost shyly leaving a trail of butterfly kisses over your knuckles, leaving you with flushed cheeks and equally flushed lover.

“i-it’s alright. you don’t have to apologize” the male finished the small act of intimacy, lowering down your hands to rest on his lap, still continuing to hold your hands in his own.

“just... let me know if anything ever goes wrong or feels bad. i don’t want you to carry heavy burdens all alone by yourself, darling.” looking up back at you through his bangs with an equally pink cheeks, scaramouche leaned over with a faux anger to kiss you when you giggled at his embarrassment.

ah, he was hopelessly in love with you...

609 notes · View notes

viidemoo · 1 year ago

Text

Juggalo Juice

Art the Clown x Juggalo! Reader

An: I was listening to icp and got the best idea ever 🙏🏻🙏🏻 before you read I just want to say that yes I am fully aware Juggalos are not like how they are depicted in icp songs. Real juggalos are just music fans, some of the kindest people you’ll meet, and a family. For the sake of this post though, the reader is gonna act in ways that most songs say Juggalos act

Art walked down an empty alleyway toward the Main Street, his garbage bag dragging behind him. It was after the sun had gone down so he didn’t expect to see many people. However if he did Art already had their fate planned out. As he turned the corner he saw someone, someone interesting. You. You had just walked out of the small convenience store with a bottle of candy apple Faygo. Your makeup wasn’t new to Art, but it wasn’t even close to Halloween yet. So why’d you have it on?

Art continued to stare at the person who resembled him in a few ways. After a little too long you finally saw him. You gave him a smile, and Art took that as an invitation to come “talk” to you. “Oh, um hello” you said, keeping that smile on your face. Art wiggled his fingers at you in response. He pointed at your face then gave you a big thumbs up with an even bigger toothy smile. “Oh my makeup? Thanks dude”

That small interaction would change the course of your life.

The two of you had been going out, if you could even call it that, for almost a year now. Art never once thought he would find someone like you (not that he was looking but still). Someone who also has the appearance of a clown? And can be just as violent at time? You were absolutely perfect!

It was finally Halloween again. Art had the most romantic date he could think of planned out. Going around and killing a few people! You both left his hideout looking for some victims. Art liked to kill anyone his eyes looked upon, you on the other hand would rather kill people who were doing wrong. You made an exception for art on this day though.

Finally you two found a person. Some random man smoking and seemingly a bit drunk leaning against the wall of a building. “Is he up to your standards?” You jokingly said to Art. He smiled and put his pointer finger to his cheek twisting it bashfully. After he stopped he put that same finger in front of your face, telling you to wait. Art reached into his bag which seemed to fit infinite items and pulled out an axe, your axe. He was letting start the night of killing, aww! Art walked up to the man, trying to distract him. Only after a few seconds the guy started to get upset with Art and his strange behavior, leaning off the wall to be face to face with Art. “look dude I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing right now but you pissing me the fuck off.” Art looked at the man shyly, that expression quickly changing to a big smile as he saw you behind the man with your axe, cutting the man’s head clean off.

8 was the total for the night. 8 body’s means a lot of blood, and the 2 of you were drenched. That didn’t stop the 2 of you from walking into a familiar convenience store, going to the drink isle, and picking up a bottle of candy apple Faygo.

#art the clown #slashers #terrifier #terrifier 2 #art the clown x reader #art the clown x you #slasher #slasher x reader #slasher x you #juggalo #juggalette #juggalo reader

288 notes · View notes

alpydk · 1 month ago

Note

I know you've been back and forth about Gale smut, but can I maybe request angsty smut?

Gale 100% sure he's gonna use the orb at the endgame, but fooling Tav into thinking he had been convinced. The night before the last battle, Tav thinking it might be their last night but Gale *knowing* it is.

Hello anon. Thank you for this prompt. I'll admit, it's been a challenge and I'll admit this is more like 90% angst and 10% maybe smut... You'll see what I mean.

Lose you

Word Count - 1221 words - C/W Angst, death, last night.

‘Cause I’m gonna lose ya Yes, I’m gonna lose ya If I’m gonna lose ya I’ll lose you now for good

Gale loved Tav more than he ever thought was possible. He loved how she looked at the world, eyes bright and optimistic, how she saw the good in everyone she met. Everyone could be redeemed of the mistakes they had made at some point in their lives, whether it be Kethric cursed for giving everything for another, Astarion’s tactful advances learnt from a life of pain, whether it was Gale himself and the greatest of all folles.

But what are forgiveness and redemption with no sacrifice? Kethric had ended up dead, Astarion still a spawn living off woodland animals. Gale had sacrificed nothing, at least nothing he could see. A year in solitude was but the consequence of my actions, not a sacrifice. The crown was a distant pipedream that even if he reforged, he could not wield. Unworthy of wielding. No, fate had dictated long ago what his sacrifice would be, and even with Tav’s compelling words and Elminster’s belief that destiny could be manipulated, Gale did not see it for himself. He knew what he had to do. He’d known since that very first day with the book.

“You think too much.”

Tav was right. In recent weeks he had been thinking too much: of life, death, of Gods and planes, and the pain. Will I be given a place at Mystra’s side, or will I walk the Fugue Plane without relief until I'm met with Kelemvor’s judgement? When the end comes, will it be but an instant of burning nerves as I’ve experienced in recent months, a candle snuffed out without hesitation? Or will it be the dull ache of the orb’s pressure building within my ribs, the seconds stretching for eternity as each molecule of my existence is torn apart piece by piece? Gale chuckled at her words; thoughts abandoned. “Maybe, but to think too much, my love, should never be a cause for concern.”

Sitting beside him, she took his hand in her soft palm. She had seen his scrawled letters, words of farewell, of a future he wouldn’t be a part of, and it pained her to think he could even consider leaving them, leaving her. “It is when I know what your mind often travels to.”

“And what might my mind be travelling to right now?”

To look upon your eyes, your hair, your skin. To see each curve of your body under the dawn’s light. To touch you. To hear your breathing as you sleep. To make you laugh. To make you cry. To love you and no other. To lose you.

She smirked at his words, the playfulness in his tone not going unmissed. Maybe the letters had been written during darker moments, ones before their night at Moonrise. He’d told her he was grateful for meeting her, told her he loved her. He’d invited her to Waterdeep to meet his family. The future was there and maybe it was her who was overthinking things. “I could think of one or two things.” Tav slipped her hand from his, bringing it to the trailing weave of the orb upon his chest. For so many nights she had placed heated kisses along the darkened lines, felt the rise and fall of his chest with each heightened emotion, made him forget his goddess. And for a thousand more nights to follow, Tav would do the same.

“Maybe a demonstration is in order, hm?” Gale leant back, watching the way her hair tumbled down above him as she positioned herself. He felt the way her fingertips traced along his chest, his robe removed and abandoned. The tender touch of her lips upon his, the scent of wine on her breath. How he longed to change fate. To hold you close on stormy nights. To see you smile as you taste my cooking. To dance with you. To hear you read poetry in the dim light of my study. To feel your head on my shoulder as we watch the sunset. To love you. To lose you.

Her dress was gone, the candlelight letting shadows dance upon her flesh. She looked at him in the same way she saw the world. He could be forgiven, redeemed. In her eyes, he already was, and she wanted to show him that.

Wishing he could tell her the truth; he buried his face in the crook of her neck. The scent of poppies hung in her hair, and he tried to memorise it. He tried to remember each minute detail of her form: the shade of her hair under the light, the flush of her cheeks as she gave into the tides consuming her, the quiet moan as he stroked her body with the soft pad of his thumb. If only they could stay in that one moment, an eternity with Tav as his goddess, the stars their followers, each whisper from his lips a new prayer devoted to her. If only...

“Tav... If something untoward, shall we say, were to happen to me-”

She gazed down at him, the slow rhythmic movements of her hips coming to a hesitant halt upon hearing his words. “Don’t talk like that.”

“I merely need assurance,” Gale replied, an unwilling sliver of emotion escaping him. Please tell me you will find someone else. You will fall in love and smile at them as you smile at me. Tell me you will not need me.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Tav was so sure of her words. They would fight the Netherbrain and all of them would survive. They would not sacrifice anyone. They were not pieces on a lanceboard to be thrown away at the whims of the gods. They, he was more than that.

“How can you be so sure?”

He felt the slow roll of her hips, the warmth of her body as she grew closer to him. Wrapping his arms around her, Gale held her tightly. He would not let go of her, would not let go of this moment, of their last night together. He would remember every gasp, every whine, every bead of sweat that merged with the salted tears that pricked at his eyes. When the time comes, I want the last thing I see to be you. To see you as you are now. To feel you as you are now. To not lose you.

“Because I love you,” she moaned softly, her eyes closing with the building heat between them. She knew there was always a chance something could go wrong, but those doubts had no place in their world right now. There was only the love she could show him, the meaning in living.

“I love you too.”

What else could he say that night before his sacrifice was made? Their last night could not be one of pain and sadness. It had to be spent in the way it was, with heated kisses and stars of their own creation. It had to be the last memory they shared, one that would smother out the darkness to follow, one that he could picture as the conjured dagger pierced his heart. To hear your voice. To see you smile. To love you. To lose you.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 gale #bg3 fanfiction #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale bg3 #galemance

24 notes · View notes

lushafterglow · 7 months ago

Text

Self-destruction is… well.

Chapter Two-> in the terms of Joe Goldberg, “Hello You.”

Summary: Toji is a very very dangerous man. Many people know this. So when he finds his kids missing, someone is going to pay the piper. Little did Toji know was that that someone was going to become his newest obsession. His lovely desire.

Masterlist

Warnings: stalking, drinking, cursing, 10 year age gap

Taglist: @queendessi24 @idkdudsworld

Series masterlist

I silently curse to myself, how the hell could I lose my kid?! I could chew into the bodyguards all I wanted, hell I could kill them if I felt like it, but I’m his father – he’s my responsibility, not theirs. Fuck Fuck Fuck! Where the hell could he be? I walked past where we’d been at least ten times. I continue to scream out my son’s name, “Megumi!” In hopes of him calling back.

Thank god for my height, I see Megumi over the heads of people in the crowd. I started to make my way through the sea of people that can’t get out of the fucking way? Can’t you see I’m coming through?! Once I finally make my way through I pick him up, worried as hell. “What did I tell you? You can’t go sneak off, you could have been killed!” While my son doesn’t fully understand all the shit I do, he does know it makes me a lot of enemies and he does know never to snitch on his dad. “I found him in that coffee shop, no harm done to him.”

I finally looked at the woman who was with my son, I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that she was there till now. And when I do look at her I feel like a damn fool, how could I not notice her sooner? She was absolutely divine and had eyes that were so sinful that I couldn’t help my breath hitch at the sight of their (E/C) gaze. I never really believed in god, there was too much sin for me to believe he existed. I looked her over once again and in the terms of Joe Goldberg, Hello You.

“I owe you thanks.” My voice spoke to her and her response was immediate. “It’s no problem at all really, I’m just glad you two found each other.” She gave Gumi a little wave and I knew that I would make this girl mine, I didn’t give a damn about any principle. It was clear as the day, she wouldn’t have a choice and I don’t give a fuck how long it takes.

“Trust me, not as glad as I am that he found you.” My damn kid could ask for the moon right now and I would say yes, for he unknowingly just brung me my newest obsession. She bid me farewell, and I made my way to the coffee shop she pointed to not too long ago.

I sent a text to one of my bodyguards to follow her to the location where she was heading and to let me know. Me and Megumi took a seat next to the window and I ordered a black coffee while he got a chocolate chip cookie.

The waitress came by and offered me a refill though I gave her a smile and sent her off. I looked back down to my coffee before I turned to look out the window, I knew she was staring and this only confirmed it. I gave her a smile, as if a glimpse of the man she would soon fall in love with. I could see her breathing slowly and I took a sip of my drink giving her a wink as if I were saying, ‘I’ll see you soon.’

–

It took me an hour to find out all there is to know about who Y/N L/N is on paper. She’s a lawyer, has a great GPA, only child, has a seemingly perfect life, graduated law early, is 20 years old, and lives alone an hour away from the city. ‘Jesus it’s like you want to be stalked. Don’t you know there’s weirdos in the world?’

I watched as she undressed, and I smiled, loving the way goosebumps spread across her skin. I knew she could feel me, and I fucking loved it because soon she will be consumed by me, just as consumed I am by her.

Her nipples harden against the fabric of the pajama top she just put on. What a delicious sight. She walked to the window I was looking from and closed the curtains after taking a glance around her home. I saw through the windows as she locked them and no doubt the doors. I smiled my breath showing in the cold air.

–

“So checking up on the locals are we?” The rough voice of Sukuna spoke as I made my way into my room. It had been a week since I met my lovely desire and I should have known Sukuna would eventually figure it out. The man knows me well enough to know when I have an interest in something, or in this case someone. “I thought I needed a change in scenery. Why? You jealous?”

Sukuna gave a laugh, a sarcastic crazy-ass one, but that’s also just his laugh. Fucking maniac. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. “What can I say, I’m curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back to life.”

He titled his drink – no doubt whiskey – and took a drink as if saying cheers. “What do you know?” It was foolish to think he knew nothing, he wouldn’t be here otherwise. But just because he knew something, doesn’t mean he knows everything – I’d like to keep it that way.

“Y/N L/N, you’re stalking her. I just can’t figure out why.” I gave a lazy hum as I poured my own cup of whiskey. “I like to think stalking is just a romantic walk.” I downed my drink.

“Yes, where one doesn’t know about the other existence.” So he didn’t know that we’d technically already met. Good. “I’m just bored, so I’m having fun. Besides, who doesn’t like a chase?” Sukuna next was the one to drown his drink. “Sure.” He placed the cup on my nightstand and made his way out of my room, then no doubt out of my house.

I made my way to my son’s room, my little blessing. I kissed his forehead and retreated back to mine. I flick the light off and pull out my phone. My lovely desire was sleeping, though she kept turning restlessly.

She didn’t know while she was at work that I had placed camera’s all around her house, one’s that she wouldn’t find unless she was really – and I mean really – looking. I turned off my phone and closd my eyes, drifing off to sleep with one thought in my head.

I’ll see you soon my lovely desire.

58 notes · View notes

lightwing-s · 1 year ago

Note

hmm... jason getting to know coworker!reader after landing a part-time job at a local supermarket to support his college, might as well to create another alter ego for red hood?

The night shift was over, and for the first time in years, not the night shift he was used to. Jason didn't know if he liked it or not, but he did prefer the company.

It took him some time after moving, but he eventually found work at a supermarket just five minutes away from his home and just flexible enough to fit in his class schedule and his continued nightly routine. It paid fine, it was easy, and it had you.

Slowly, you became his favorite part of the day, even if all interaction you two had was greetings, goodbyes and you catching him staring at you from a distance more often than he’d proudly admit.

You thought it was cute though, especially when you could see his cheeks burning red from far away. So you took it upon yourself to talk to him more often. “Hellos”, “how are yous” and “nice jeans” were thrown around, and conversation casually moved to mindless talks about favorite pasta brands, books and white chocolate while you two restocked aisles together.

He started to slow down his work whenever the ending of his shift was close just so he could finish with you and get to walk you to your car. Anything for five more minutes of conversation.

Then one day he heard from another coworker that your car had broken down and you’d need to take two buses to get home. Perfect, it was all the excuse he needed.

“Listening to that Jane Austen on the way home?” he asked, joining you in placing Oreos on the shelf.

“Sorta blew a few tires and had other issues with my car, so I’m taking the bus and I can’t focus on audiobooks with too many people around.” you told him, eyes not leaving the boxes of cookies beside you. “Don’t ask any questions.”

Jason smiled at your warning, happy you knew full well he’d have many questions about what happened and would probably make fun of you and your so called “driving skills”.

“I can drive you home, if you want.” he tried, silently praying you would say yes. “It’s late and I don’t want you going home alone at this hour.”

Stopping your fast-moving hands, you finally looked back at him, catching his eyes locked on yours. “Here is not Gotham, Jason.” you joked.

“I know,” he said, and looking deeper into your eyes he concluded: “but I’d sleep better tonight knowing you arrived safe at home.”

The cold air hitting your face made your nose grow red and you thanked the universe for the warmth of Jason’s black pickup truck. Turning the engine on, Jason wiped the sweat off his hands on his jeans and held the steering wheel as tight as he could.

“I live forty minutes away from here.” you broke the silence, noticing his uneasiness.

“Down the main road, two blocks past the old museum.” he stated, and catching your wide eyes he added. “You told me one, remember?” and I followed you there a few times, too.

The ride to your home was quiet at first, but filled with a good silence. Once you grew comfortable, you asked him about Gotham, his previous life. He told you about his brothers and his estranged adoptive father, he mentioned a dark year in his life briefly before telling you how happy he is to be here.

You enjoy listening speak, and he’d tell you a very funny story involving his youngest brother, Damian, a pet cow and a bouquet of roses. You also didn’t notice Jason’s taking turns she definitely shouldn’t, or driving past your street a couple times, too immersed in the conversation to pay it any attention.

And Jason didn’t want to let you go either. Ecstatic to see you so eager to hear him, like no one ever did. And when he finally came to a stop in front of your building, his hand started to sweat once again.

“So it ends here.” you tried to joke, sounding less excited than you expected. Than you tried to sound. “Thank you for driving me home, Jay.”

“My pleasure.” he said, immediately.

“Well, see you tomorrow.” you said as he watched you open the door, and before you could leave, you turned to him and left a quick kiss on his cheek, dangerously close to his lips.

He couldn’t hold the smile spreading on his face, and as you closed the door to your building he screamed.

“See you tomorrow.”

#jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd blurb #jason todd #jason todd fluff #jason todd x you #jason todd scenarios #jason todd fanfiction #red hood x you #red hood fluff #red hood imagine #red hood x reader #red hood

138 notes · View notes

transparencyboo · 4 months ago

Text

A Ghost. Forever.

I've been thinking recently about that strange disconnect to my past I have earned as a trans person. When I was 16 years old I graduated from my old school (as per the Swedish education system), leaving behind over a decade together with classmates I had known for practically my entire life at that point. I bumped into one or two in public during the following year or so, but it's been 15 years since I heard anything from any of them. Contact networks change, people go their separate ways, time moves on, etc. That's a regular part of life.

Still, those connections are formative ones. These were people I used to call friends, although in hindsight I think of them more as mutuals – acquaintances. We didn't share more than broad interests, every now and then we got into fights, some hurt me quite a lot, but in an awkward sense I know a part of my soul is connected to these people through a substantially shared past.

Sometimes I remember them with fondness, other times with anger. And then I realize all I have left of them are frozen snapshots that have remained unchanged since June 2008. I moved on, went out into the world, visited new places, met new people, I never ever returned. Some part of me imagines that I could walk back to our old school, step into one of the classrooms and see their ghosts waiting for me.

"You are late." "Where have you been all this time?" "Now, where were we?"

But I understand that's not true, they too have lived full rich lives ever since our last shared moment. I remember a lot of names, I can search them online and find the traces. Privated Facebook accounts, superficial Linked In pages, the odd Instagram profile. Everyone looks frighteningly adult, like they somehow lived at least ten more years than me. They got old, but I believe they're doing well.

I'm sure one or two of them have shared this curiosity and occasionally peeked at the glimpses of each others lives. Except mine.

All ties to the past have been severed. Many years ago I came out as trans, changed all of my personal info and got a new ID. My old name, my old identity, has been wiped off the face of the Earth. If someone where to look for that person they would find less than nothing. A ghastly absence. Of course, everyone of any importance to me knows about this change. I never disappeared, I am still here. But to the outsiders with nothing more than a faded memory and an outdated name, I must simply have vanished into thin air.

In the beginning, I took relief in this. "Now, no one will ever find me again. I won't have to deal with some awkward school reunion. They can't touch me anymore." But now I'm not so sure. I've changed so much, and discovered so much about myself. The idea that two dozen people are still walking around out there with vividly detailed conceptions of me based on nothing but a long forgotten and rejected past feels wrong. It feels perverted. But that's the price you pay. In exchange for becoming my real self, I allowed those strangers to keep me as a frozen snapshot.

June 2008. 16 years old. Forever.

But does it have to be that way? Can I not mend this? Suddenly I want nothing more in the world. I want to show these people what became of me. How much I grew. Maybe I want to prove myself? I had the grandest adventure, I learned the most about myself, I completed my metamorphosis, no change was as drastic as mine, I won. They become involuntary ambassadors for everything I resent about my old self. I reduce these regular people to demons of all my buried insecurities and bottled up doubt. Little perpetual 16 year old brats. As dehumanized by our separation as I fear myself to be. How I hate them. How I hate that I hate them.

Of course I could solve this. It's laughably simple. I can reach out, try to reestablish contact. I certainly have the means.

"Hello, you might not remember me. We went to school together. I changed my name since then, though. Yes, I'm trans. Yes, I was in the closet even back then. I just wanted someone, anyone, to know. How have you been?"

I seriously thought about this. It's a scary move, I know nothing about how these people are now. Maybe they remember me with contempt as a collage of only their absolute worst memories? Maybe they've grown to be bigots eager to harass the unwitting victim landing in their lap? Maybe they don't remember me at all? Maybe they don't care?

Maybe I don't want to talk to any of these people?

In my mind I quickly narrowed it down to one person who I would feel the most safe and willing to reach out to. The last feasible bridge to my past. The one person I could still imagine being my friend after all these years. I'd known her since preschool. She was always really smart, we were always on good terms, but never really hung out together. We were merely in the same friend group. She was one of the few people I'd stumbled into past graduation. We had sporadically discussed music over MSN. When I was 17 years old she relayed an invitation for me to go to a punk show with her. She had said I was so kind. I neglected the offer. I deeply regret this. Not because I'd expect anything for showing up; anything but, I was already taken. It just felt rude of me. Maybe who I was back then wanted to sever my last connection to the past? Maybe who I am now wants to apologize more than anything? I realize of all the people from my old life, she would have the most unique last impression. As this distant, faceless loner holed up in a dark bedroom. Hopelessly unwilling to do anything at all. To be anything at all.

17 years old. Forever.

I decide it's no good. I don't actually feel strongly about this and I can't imagine she would either. It's been 15 years, any semblance of remorse is long gone. That version of me doesn't exist anymore, that version of her doesn't exist anymore. There is nothing to salvage, nothing to mend. I left all of that behind half my life ago. The past is gone.

I have nothing to say to whoever this person is now.

So I will remain as I was for all of those people. A skewed shadow of the truth. They will never know the real me. It is not my responsibility to reconnect and inform them about what I've been up to. I don't owe them anything. I can't get hung up on my imagination of what imagined specters would imagine me to be. This reflects more about me than anyone else. I am mourning my unfulfilled potential. Projecting it upon the memories that will never go away.

I just fear that one day my old classmates will arrange a school reunion. They'll all find each other with ease, but be stumped by my absence. They'll believe I'm dead. Died young as nothing but their incomplete picture of who I was. Perhaps at least one of them would have the detective knowhow to contact my parents and ask about me, so they could find me, discover my miraculous change and invite me to show who I finally became. I could complete the fragmented part of my childhood and finally illuminate my shadow. I could stop this looming feeling from growing ever larger with each year. But I'm not holding out hope. For all I know this reunion has already taken place. They held a silent moment for my unknown demise and promptly forgot all about me. Without ever knowing who I could've been, who I became.

A ghost. Forever.

/Kiki

51 notes · View notes