#yes he is still a Kenobi

[the-obiwan-for-me]

I'm climbing up out of my absence (more or less) to remind people that occasionally I write things and to offer up a new chapter of my weird Satine/Orson Krennic fic that I SWEAR TO YOU will be very satisfying.

Not this chapter. This chapter is upsetting for most, probably.

Anyway, hi. Here. Enjoy.

[cj-kenobi]

On my knees begging for anything trans!Obi-Wan :') love your work btw

your wish is my comand lovely anon, here's obi-wan having a nice peaceful moment training

[backpackingspace]

Vadar: who can still feel obi wan even if he can't find the bastard: he's alive and we're going to tare the galaxy apart till we find him and crush him like the bug he is am I understand

Cody: general kenobi is dead I killed him myself

Vadar: who can feel that his old master is alive

Vadar: who knows exactly how unkillable obi wan is.

Vadar: who knows for a fact Cody shot once, missed , and declared him dead.

Cody: who is perfectly aware of all of this: I shot him myself. He's dead. I never fail a mission objective

[questforgalas]

The High Republic series confirmed that part of a Jedi youngling’s day in the creche are midday naps on little nap mats, and now the image of all our faves in youngling form curled up on the nap mat is living rent free in my head

[padawansuggest]

Okay. So. I was on tiktok and I remembered that live wedding painters exist.

And that made me obviously think of other live things that could be painted. And I have a one track mind so I obviously landed on Jedi ceremonies.

Which made me straight up tear up if Quinlan had a live painting done of knighting Aayla in a somewhat longer than usual ceremony so they had enough time for the artist to do the background (maybe Room of a Thousand Fountains because I don’t think they should all happen in the council chambers) and Quinlan and their lineage all there and Obi and Ani (Ani is here for big sister Aayla, Quinlan just Happens To Be There ugh) and all that stuff.

And I think that Quinlan would be able to touch that painting years down the line and still feel like he’s in that moment even tho his baby girl is all grown up and flown the nest, she’s right there looking up at him as he knights her.

-tag this as post O66 and I’ll kick ur ass it’s not about that I’m here for fix it fics not that stain-

[g00seg1raffe]

Obi-Wan Kenobi's net worth at the height of the clone wars - 52,365,000 credits. yeah... that's a lot.

general. my good sir. obi wan. why do you smoulder so hard these are mug shots

can you control yourself for like 20 seconds this is serious you are a war criminal

[mudpuddless]

Lunch in the Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano-and-secretly-also-Fett quarters

(not pictured: one knight Skywalker, a togruta padawan, and a good dozen clone troopers in a variety of jedi clothes playing space-mariokart at increasingly high volumes)

[image ID: a digital drawing centred on Jango Fett, a Maori man in his late thirties, in matching mauve sweatpants and cropped shirt adding chilly powder to a big pan filled with a mushy red rice dish. His hair is greying at the temples and he is smiling slightly. On the left behind him is Obi-wan Kenobi, a pale ginger in his late thirties, wearing a blue cropped shirt and beige wrapped pants, who is walking past Jango while smiling at him, a hand on his arm. At the bottom right of the frame there is Boba Fett, a child looking like Jango at about twelve years old, in a matching blue pullover to Obi-wan's, holding up a flashing datapad, taking a photo. He is scoffing softly at his father. In the background, which is slightly blurry, there is a glass teapot and cups, a hanging multi-tier fruit basket and cabinets. Sunlight is flooding the room. end ID]

based on this fic

[lightasthesun]

Nothing ever cost me as much in life as loving you did and yet, still, I do.

- excerpt from Ben Kenobi's diary.

[fangirlforeversthings]

In todays episode of

"temple stories"

Star wars: the sticker wars

Ahsoka running around and placing star stickers on random objects

Obi wan pausing from chatting with windu and fisto: "what are you doing dear?"

Ahsoka pausing for a moment and greeting the trio with a quick nod: "masters hello. Well anakin keeps having his cleptomanic fingers on my stuff, so i told him i'd place star stickers on everything that belongs to me"

Obi wan shaking his head: "you guys could also talk about it."

Master Fisto and windu clancing looks at each other

Ahsoka:"....naah" *hurries back to her task* "So anyway this mug is mine oh and definetly this controller he keeps stealing this the most...*Runs over and places a sticker on obi wans cheek who has gotten back to sipping his tea* *obi just blinking into his tea mug and sighing*

Mace and fisto snorting into their hands barely holding it together.

Ahsoka meawhile pokes her head around the corner yelling: "skyguy i've marked everything mine with a star sticker now, so hands off these."

A few moments later anakin comes around the same corner placing starship stickers on the exact same mug and controller.

Obi: "....Let me guess these are yours?"

Anakin: "yeah from where do you know?" *Casually places a starship sticker on obi wans forehead (who ones again tried to drink his tea) while walking by*

Obi: "Wha..hey Hey!! I'm no...augh *closes his eyes and inhales*" "nevermind obi wan think of your nerves" (to himself) *so he just goes back to actually now drinking his tea*

fisto and mace are now bursting out laughing with anakin walking off

*edit*

Rex is covered and i mean covered in stickers 30% anakin and ahsokas cause they were having a sticker sticking war over him for both claiming him as theirs to death.

The rest is half the armys mostly 501st ones cause everyone keeps claiming sweet pretty rexika as their babygirl property (he is just too sweet shaped to resist)

Cody has one single heart sticker on his helmet cheek that obi wan gently placed on it stating: "i suppose everbody knows it by now but just to be shure *places sticker* my commander *sweet smile*" and walks off while poor cody baby blushed so hard he melted the insides of his helmet💞

He proudly wears that sticker "TO THIS DAYUH!" (His men want to cover him with stickers aswell but no one dares to reach for what the General owns already (also they know, you know?)

Also they are too afraid one tried but cody just gave them one authoritative look through his helmet and that was it "but thank you i appreciate your loyalty respect and admiration" He just said

Obi wan is covered in stickers cause every jedi keeps claiming him as theirs. Either for marriage or adoption.

The most sticked objects in the temple are the best chairs at the cantina and temple Spa.

Most sticked object in the Gar clone barracks and 79s is rex.

[nerdreadss]

one of us, one of us, one of

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

This 3d model shouldn’t look so hot while getting his ass kicked

[saphronethaleph]

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith �� you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

[sleepdeprivedartboi]

One thing I appreciate star wars for always showing consistently is that 95% of all Jedi can't help but be good.

Like this isn't a matter of just being a good person or being trained to be a good person. They literally cannot help but be compassionate and caring. Even when they are doing wrong things, like in acolyte, it is still out of good intentions. It was a huge misunderstanding of course, but they just want everything to be good, which is an unrealistic goal and sometimes that results in bad things because of point of views.

But I can appreciate the fact that not a single fucking Jedi in the entirety of star wars wasn't good when presented with the opportunity. (Pong krell does not count and he can suck my dick) They simply couldn't help it, as the grand inquisitor says in Kenobi. The smart thing would be to not be involved, but even when they are being ACTIVELY HUNTED, They cannot stop themselves from butting in and helping others. Obi wan tried , but ended up helping, Cal tried to hide, ended up exposing himself to save someone, Ezra and Kanan, Ahsoka, Quinlan voss, and these are just the main people , who knows how many other survivors tried to help and ended up sacrificing themselves just so like 3-4 innocents could live. They didn't do anything on a grand scale, but those little acts of kindness probably helped hope from dying out completely.

The Jedi are the literal embodiment of hope and goodness and I fucking love that. Despite everything, and all the defamation palpatine did, the people still considered Jedi good.

Like you know shit is bad when even the criminals are like "the empire is had for business, the Jedi were better"

And i appreciate it. The galaxy is a harsh place, and so is the real world. So it's wonderful seeing a faction that is just good. Sure they made mistakes with Anakin and some other times but like that's upto the people imo, not them as a whole. Where there is pong krell, there is also mace windu, there is also obi wan and Yoda .

And I appreciate them for showing this consistently. Do they make mistakes, yes everyone does. But they were completely finessed by palpatine into losing their way and they STILL managed to do their best.

I am a proud Jedi sympathiser and will probably be executed for that in the empire.

[wileycap]

Beings Suffering From Extreme Sleep Deprivation Should Not Attempt Turning To The Dark Side

There he was. Anakin Skywalker, the prize jewel of the Sith... even if he did not know it yet. Sitting in the office of his friend, the Supreme Chancellor.

All the pieces were now in place, and the only thing left to do was to reveal his identity to Skywalker and let him break down. The satisfaction that permeated the form of Sheev Palpatine was so great that he nearly forgot that his parents had named him Sheev.

But not for long. Distaste prickled up his spine. Still, they were entering the glorious morning of a Sith Empire that would never see night. Or, rather more accurately, the night would be neverending. And the metaphors would be better - he would hire (and by hire, he meant enslave) the greatest poets to compose endless lamentations for the suffering he was about to unleash.

Skywalker sat in the chair, looking listless. The nightmares Palpatine had sent had done their job well - it seemed like he had hardly slept. His thoughts were sluggish, his resistance gone, and his terror absolute. Terror for his "secret" wife, who he feared would die in childbirth.

And while the "visions" were far from genuine, oh, Palpatine intended to make sure that Padmé Amidala would.

With the death of his wife, Palpatine's control over Anakin Skywalker would be perfect. And, in ten or twenty years, thirty even, the boy would become his new vessel. After all, the plans of the Sith were measured in the millenia, and Sheev Palpatine had no intention of planting trees in whose shade younger generations might sit. No. He intended to sit there himself, chasing off the whippersnappers so they might get sunburnt. (He really needed to consult a poet.)

But the creation of his Empire was a far more immediate goal, and a very worthy stepping stone indeed. And since all it would take was a push, he had better get to administering said push.

"Dear boy, I don't think I've ever seen you look quite this... disturbed," he intoned, perfectly miming the tones of a concerned grandfather. "Not - and I am terribly sorry to bring this up, but I can't help but be concerned - not even... not even when your mother died."

There. Skywalker was an easy instrument to play. A veil of concern, a dash of "you can tell me anything." A hint of his past trauma, which so neatly (almost as if by design) connected to his current fear. Even calling attention to Skywalker's sorry state served to remind him that the structures he could depend on were now shaky and unsure, ravaged by war.

Palpatine briefly entertained himself by wondering what the boy might think of the sheer amount of planning that had been put into his fall.

"Mom?" Skywalker asked, voice groggy and wide eyes betraying his shock.

And said nothing more, just gaped at Palpatine, as if he were about to pull Shmi Skywalker out from under his robes. Idiot boy.

"I'm terribly sorry for shocking you, Anakin," Palpatine said, suffusing the room with his phony concern. "I know it must be horrible to think about, especially in these... present circumstances."

Well, he'd thrown subtlety out the viewport, but that would certainly get the job done.

Skywalker did not respond. He was blearily gazing into middle distance. And Palpatine was running out of time - Skywalker needed to fall now, before Kenobi could return from Utapau and somehow pull him back from the brink, again.

So, subtlety? Subtlety would die the same death it always died in Skywalker's presence: a sudden one.

"Actually, I've called you here on an important matter," he said, injecting some urgency into his tone - no longer a grandfather, but a concerned statesman. "I now have every reason to believe that Senator Amidala and the Delegation of Two Thousand are planning a coup."

"Huh?" Skywalker said, attempting to sit up. "Padmé's planning..."

And then his train of thought appeared to slip away again, and he resumed his vacant staring.

"Yes." Palpatine gritted out. "Padmé Amidala, your wife, is planning a coup."

"Oh. Yeah, she's good at politics," Anakin mumbled, offering Palpatine a tired smile. "I'm sure she'll do a good job."

"A coup against me." When nothing more than a "hmm" was forthcoming, Palpatine continued. "And it appears she has allied with the Jedi Council."

Skywalker suddenly stood up, ramrod straight. Finally, Palpatine thought.

"What?"

"I'm sorry you have to find out this way-"

"No, no, this is great! She's finally hanging out with my work friends! Now she'll know what it feels like!" Skywalker shook his head. "Like, it's only fair, right? I've sat through a ton of formal dinners and stuff. And Bail is okay, I guess, and Mon, and Fang Zhar is kinda funny, but... they're so boring. Treaty this, agreement that, 'what do you think, Master Jedi?'"

Skywalker started pacing. "Yeah, but who's laughing now, Padmé? I hope she tries to take them out for lunch. Then she'll get to see twelve Jedi Masters meditating to discern which restaurant the Force is pulling them towards."

He turned to Palpatine, as if to explain. "And that takes hours. You wanted lunch? Sorry, it's dinnertime and also tomorrow, and the spot they picked, which, by the way, is always the one Yoda wants,-" and, to the Sith Lord's horror, he launched into an imitation, "'mmm, great darkness I sense within the Jundland Buffet, perhaps to Stewcruiser, we should instead go', but when we finally decide to go to Stewcruiser, it's closed on Taungsday, and the whole thing starts all over again!"

And at that, Skywalker sat down with a huff.

"Indeed," Palpatine said, no longer able to keep the coldness out of his voice. "The inefficiencies of the Jedi are... vexing."

"Tell me about it," Skywalker mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"But rather more pressingly, they are planning a coup." Palpatine said, rather icily.

"Yeah, right," the boy said, looking a bit shamefaced. "Sorry."

"It is no matter," Palpatine replied, still eyeing the Jedi. Skywalker made no move. "What do you think about the coup?"

"Oh, yeah, uh. Like I said, I'm sure she'll do a great job. Sorry, I don't really... pay attention to politics."

Palpatine opened his mouth. And then closed it again. "A coup is a bad thing, Anakin."

"Uh-huh," Skywalker said, clearly paying no attention, and that was just about the limit of Palpatine's patience. He hadn't set the entire galaxy ablaze to be uh-huhed by the boy.

It was time to go for the throat.

"Anakin, I'm going to kill your wife." He said, enunciating every word as clearly as he could. He needed to provoke the boy into fear and anger, which would feed his guilt and shame, which would lead him to the Dark Si-

"Oh, okay. Good luck."

"What?!" He hissed. "I just threatened to kill your wife!"

"Yeah, but..." Skywalker scratched at the back of his neck. "I mean, she's been in like, twenty battles. She can handle herself."

"She is eight months pregnant!"

Skywalker actually shrugged. "The med droid said she can keep doing her usual activities for as long as she feels able. And no offence, but you're kind of... old."

"Old? I am the Lord of the Sith, young fool! I possess powers your feeble mind can't even comprehend!"

Something had gone blank in Skywalker's eyes, but Palpatine was far too angry to notice. "I orchestrated this entire war! All of this is my doing! I planned for your mother to die, I corrupted the Tuskens myself, I was behind Kenobi faking his death, beh-"

And that's about as far as he got, because a sky blue blade had just passed between the spot his head occupied and the spot that was occupied by his body, and had kindly suggested to the two that it was time to part ways.

"Chancellor, Sith Lords are a specialty at the Jundland Buffet," Anakin muttered, turning off his saber. He tried to hook it back on his belt, but apparently somebody had taken his usual hook, and the handle fell to the ground. Sighing, he called it up with the Force and shoved it into his boot for safekeeping, when a thought struck him. "No, that's not right. How did Obi-Wan say it..."

And then he commed Obi-Wan, because that seemed like the thing to do. After a long wait, a small, blue Obi-Wan appeared, looking harried. Before Anakin could compliment him on his new size and color, Obi-Wan was already talking way too fast, something about killing Grievous.

"Hey, Obi-Wan, uh. I killed the Sith, but I-"

"What?" Obi-Wan's voice had a lot of static in it. He should really get that checked out. "Sorry, Anakin, did you say you killed the Sith Lord?"

"Yeah, anyways, back when we were fighting Dooku, you said something about Sith Lords and a specialty, and, uh, is it a specialty dish somewhere? And can we go there next time the Council has lunch? I'm getting really sick of Stewcruiser."

"Anakin. When was the last time you slept?"

"Oh, uh, two weeks ago or something."

There was a heavy, staticy sigh from the other end of the comlink. "Alright, Anakin. Turn the comlink around and show me the Sith, and then I'll guide you through cleaning up the pieces of the duelling droid you dismantled this time, and - oh Force, is that the Chancellor?!"

"Uh-huh," Anakin nodded, forgetting that he wasn't in view of the receiver.

"Don't uh-huh me, Anakin! Did you kill the Supreme Chancellor?"

"Yeah, he was the Sith?" There weren't any more words coming through the comlink, so Anakin figured it was safe to continue. "He said that he orchestrated the whole war and he was the Sith. Also, for some reason, he moved out here to the desert, and that's weird, because I don't think it's gonna agree with his complexion."

There was more silence from the comlink. Anakin remembered to turn it so he was again visible to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan appeared to be frozen.

"Are you... disappointed?" Anakin asked, after a while.

"No more than the usual amount," Obi-Wan sighed. "Go take a nap."

"Oh, good," Anakin smiled. And then frowned. "Wait, what do you mean, 'the usual amount?'"

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *shows up to Dex’s diner with a Space Gucci (Spucci) bag and new sunglasses* Some guy outside the senate just offered me several G for a foot photoshoot and I had a few free hours so everyone’s tabs are on me for the next hour.

Dex: …who?

Obi-Wan: Who what?

Dex: Who offered you for a foot photoshoot? *looks worried for some reason*

Obi-Wan: idk man some senator from the edge of the inner rim, I think- *turns corner to get to his usual booth only to find Qui-Gon and Dooku already there looking supremely annoyed about this* oh…

Dooku: Give me a name or I’ll go figure it out myself, Grandpadawan.

Qui-Gon: *hauls Obi-Wan across his lap and into the corner of the booth so he’s trapped* You keep asking why you’re not allowed out of the temple without an adult, this is it!

Obi-Wan: I am an adult, I can make my own decisions!

Qui-Gon: Absolutely not. Not allowed. Grounded. Forever.

Obi-Wan: *loud groaning and flopping all over him in protest*

Dex: *comes over to put a milkshake on the table in front of him, pats his head* It’s okay, kid, you’ve obviously got snack credits.

Obi-Wan: You’re the only one on this planet that can handle me.

[phoenixyfriend]

Gather 'round, all ye fuckers. It's time for another AU, let's go.

Time-travel. Obi-Wan from post-RotS (could be early in the Empire, could be as late as ESB, doesn't quite matter) wakes up in the past, as a 12yo, on that fateful trip to join the Agricorp.

He has a few short minutes to think it over, and then scams his way out and towards nearby Mandalore to find Satine.

(Her ghost was hanging out with Qui-Gon's when he was sent back in time, tethered by the Darksaber, and so Obi-Wan is pretty sure she's also somehow in the past?)

(If Qui-Gon's interested in helping, he can track Obi-Wan down. No need to make things easy for him.)

tbf even if he goes back to the Jedi when Qui-Gon comes to fetch him, he needs to plot and scheme with Satine first. Because reasons.

@threebea: Qui-Gon: we were literally five minutes from meeting Obi-Wan: sounds like a you problem Qui-Gon is not having a good mental health day. Like yes he's older and wiser but still.

Satine and Obi-Wan have been busy getting in the way of the Galidraan situation (the Duke is out of his mind with worry because his daughter and heir randomly disappeared in the night.) Obi-Wan figured Qui-Gon could handle Xanatos on his own for a bit

Qui-Gon, suspicious: Have you been kissing? You're twelve. Obi-Wan: On the cheek, sure. Satine: He looks a third of my actual age at death. I look a fifth of his. We are neither of us comfortable with more. Obi-Wan: Also I've been told I need to worry about cooties.

The three of them speed run Jedi apprentice problems since they can't just leave the problems they need to fix unsolved, but way easier when you know who and what the solution is. Like yes they could get someone at the temple to catch Xanatos, but a twelve year old smacking him in the face and getting him in a headlock, and then later saying Xanatos tripped on his cape and knocked himself out oh dear. Also Bruck lives and is weirded out with how Obi-Wan gives him old man advice later.

They're also eager to get to the Real Problems Of Deadly Sith. They can't just SKIP the problems, but man. They sure are hitting fast forward.

Bruck definitely tries to goad Obi-Wan about his "secret girlfriend" that is in no way a secret.

Everyone knows about Obi-Wan having a "pen pal" that he has stated on more than one occasion that he'd have gladly married if not for the tragedy of their stations.

"Padawan Kenobi, you are twelve." "And yet, I shall live my life yearning for the lady who owns my heart, star-crossed as we are."

There's at least one meeting in those early years where Jango is present at an interaction and is abruptly concerned that he's going to have to figure out how to prevent a teen pregnancy without making everything weird. Does he just throw condoms at them? He doesn't know what size they need. Maybe tell their parents? He should tell the parents. He is not qualified to cockblock the 14yos.