#yes actually i do
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mongooseundertheporch · 10 months ago
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[Y'all reallyyyy doubt my abilities to have long term relationships huh??]
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anthropologist-on-the-loose · 8 months ago
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I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.
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rasairui · 9 months ago
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Okay I know I posted the first one already but it's a collection now. Anyway don't you ever get so tired of this
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nathaniacolver · 8 months ago
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arcane ships be like
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i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)
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qiinamii · 5 months ago
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new guy in the Express
bonus:
adding more to the whimsy
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taxevasionismyfavactivity · 24 days ago
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this is what happened
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live beasts reaction btw
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 months ago
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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but
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edlucavalden · 10 months ago
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Learning to eat with your hands.
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rockore · 27 days ago
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happy pride month gang
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egophiliac · 2 months ago
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The funniest part of this new event is the fact I can't find out what's going on it from spoilers. All context is lost in the wave of Hot Eel Mom. I love her, all hail Georgina, mother of This and That, but where is the context? What *is* the event?
to be fair, we're still in the intro part, so not much has actually happened yet! Jade and Floyd were supposed to go to their mom's friend's wedding to help with the ancient merfolk marriage custom of
❤️❤️❤️~the Test of Love~❤️❤️❤️
but Floyd last-minute changed his mind (on account of being Floyd) and Azul was like "I'm not going if your mom is going to be there". at which point Jade realized he'd just been handed a golden opportunity to invite the absolute funniest group of people he could think of.
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anyway tl;dr Jade manipulates a bunch of nerds into joining him to heckle/throw bricks at/try to drown a couple of randos in the name of love, what could possibly go wrong
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limbcom · 4 months ago
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"Holding your hand doesn't have to mean that I accept your friendship," the liar said to the truthful, trying to lie in front of the only person who understands his intentions.
He knows, of course, that the liar did not lie. For the liar is also the truthful.
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samgiddings · 2 years ago
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@staff @support @engineering @music @books
Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???
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illusioncanthurtme--art · 4 months ago
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rookanisstuff · 2 months ago
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coming home
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chiquilines · 2 months ago
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As mentioned in the previous post, i have lost my entire mind
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becasbelt · 7 months ago
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I can't get over how scared caitlyn looks when she realizes she's about to be killed, that there's nothing she can do to stop it. she just regained consciousness, discovered that someone she trusted had betrayed her (had, perhaps, never been on her side at all), and then her one last attempt at resistance was brutally shut down before it even began.
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the wide eyes. the way her breathing speeds up right before maddie pulls the trigger. this is caitlyn kiramman realizing she's about to die, and she is terrified.
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