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#yes I named him that like a menace - nerd names for the shadows
askhubertvonvestra · 3 years
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Lord Vestra, you often speak of your bond with Her Majesty Edelgard. But what about the previous emperor, Ionius the IXth? Given what happened between your father and Her father, I imagine that your relationship with Emperor Ionius was quite... complex. Did you two ever get closure on the regrettable incidents which occured on the Insurrection of the Seven?
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I... do, yes. What we share is a significant aspect of my life.
Emperor Ionius IX, may he find rest with our victory, withdrew into himself after the incident that led to so many tragedies for House Hresvelg. Prior to that, I was welcome at the table to eat with the royal family and often present in their measured free time. With them gone, well, we had no reason to see one another. I suspect even the sight of me was enough to cause pain, particularly as I grew and began... to have more of a resemblance.
I cannot say he blamed me, exactly, although he had every right to. It merely weighed on him to see me alone as a reminder of all that had gone wrong in his attempt to diminish the nobility's power.
By the time Lady Edelgard returned to the Empire, all of his children were in the clutches of Those Who Slither in the Dark. He knew I was able to see them as often as those twisted creatures allowed, and I made a habit of checking with him before a visit where I was able. Whether it was a concealed gift or a message, His Majesty always had some manner of kindness to extend to his children.
We never spoke outside of those moments. It wasn't personal. As I mentioned, there were myriad reasons why he kept his distance, and I respected that.
[I'm gonna chime in here to say I think Ionius IX knew Hubert blamed himself, but he was so mired in grief... What could he say?? If it hadn't been his family, I think he could have helped Hubert. But it was and that's a lot for anyone to carry, so he just wasn't in any shape mentally to comfort Hubert. But Hubert does tend to read into these things and see his own self-loathing, oof.]
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tossawary · 4 years
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Chapter 25: “Home Sweet Home” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary. 
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 Anyway, Shang Qinghua makes himself  so fucking sincerely annoying that the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators can’t figure out how to politely tell him to fuck off fast enough. Shang Qinghua makes outlandish assumptions about how many thieves there are (at least a dozen, he’s sure, probably twice that) and what methods they might be using (special invisibility talismans, he suspects); Shang Qinghua repeatedly apologizes for being too busy with important things for Cultivator O.B.B. at the last Immortal Alliance Conference, then tries to commiserate with the man about having to get important things done without getting any respect for it; Shang Qinghua also anxiously wonders if they should all go to Zhao Hua Temple Sect to report what happened here, since there’s a troublesome demon and also some sneaky rogue cultivator thieves on the loose out here! He gets turned down immediately, but assures everyone that he’ll at least let Yue Qingyuan know everything that happened here right away! 
 Liu Qingge pretty much just stands there scowling silently the entire time - he’s no Shen Qingqiu for sheer menacing  "I can and I will ruin your entire life"  glares, but he’s still pretty intimidating. He does a great job! No notes! 
 Shang Qinghua nearly pats himself on the back as he and Liu Qingge leave less than an hour after he arrives.  “Holy shit, I’m good,”  he thinks, a little giddy with the successful extraction.  “That’s a skill that good ol’ Liu-Shidi will never have!” 
 -
AN: Of course this has a high chance of backfiring. Is Shang Qinghua going to weave webs of lies anyway? Of course. 
Love the fact that Shang Qinghua can shamelessly act like a total pushover, while actually manipulating someone so that he gets the results he wanted. Some snobby sect leader walks into a negotiation room, prepared to use SQH as a doormat, and Shang Qinghua is probably internally like, “Bro, me and my jelly spine welcome you to hell.” 
 He gives them the rundown on what happened, but, to his complete lack of surprise, that doesn’t seem to satisfy interrogators like his little sister-in-law and his fellow transmigrator. They have so many questions! And Shang Qinghua doesn’t have enough answers for them! 
 No, he doesn’t know what Huan Hua Palace Sect knows or thinks they know. No, he doesn’t know how they knew about that place. No, he doesn’t know whether the monster was just a local opportunist preying on distracted cultivators or something more sinister. No, he’s not experimenting with the creepy special item or discussing it at length here. No, Luo Fanli and Peerless Cucumber are not allowed to poke at the creepy special item! 
 Why the fuck would he ever let them do that?! 
 All Shang Qinghua knows is that Luo Fanli and Peerless Cucumber should eat their vegetables and then go to bed! Because they all have a long journey back to the sect in the morning! And also that words cannot describe how painfully old he feels as soon as he says this. 
-
AN: I’ve been thinking about a Demon Trio fanfic in which Mobei-Jun finds himself in a similar position with Luo Binghe and Sha Hualing. 
Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua are, like, bare minimum twice the age of Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan. Like, yes, neither Mobei-Jun nor Shang Qinghua are old old by the standard of the PIDW world. Yes, MBJ and SQH are stunted as all get out. But the fact that they have bare minimum 2x the life experience as Bingqiu is, in my opinion, funny as hell and severely underused in fanfiction. 
Like, imagine Mobei-Jun unintentionally dadding new demon LBH in SVSSS. Mobei-Jun being like, “Don’t eat the meat from this monster. It makes you hallucinate.” Or being like, “These people aren’t politically important enough to be shown this kind of respect. Look down on them properly and go sleep, or no one will ever respect you again in demon politics.” 
MBJ looking at SVSSS LBH and SHL like, “Damn, who raised you?” 
Because, like, I love to joke about Mobei-Jun being an oblivious fool, but that’s in regards to human culture. Mobei-Jun operating on demonic culture + his level of arrogance in regards to how he’s handling SQH suggests that MBJ can be politically savvy among demons when he wants to be. Also, the mental picture of MBJ being like, “Eat your weird demon vegetables, there’s nothing wrong with them, you picky half-breed brat,” is extremely funny. 
I’ll probably turn this into a separate post. 
Shang Qinghua does  not  miss the man’s unconcealed  “oh, great, some of my favorite problem people are back, probably with bad news”  expression when they arrive. The man is not at all impressed to hear about the drugged-up Shadow Cave Wolf Spiders or the evil, murderous, madness-inducing plant they fought on their mission, but the Qian Cao Peak Lord is reluctantly, partially placated by the jar of three-eyed skeleton tears Shang Qinghua super thoughtfully brought back for his inspection. Mu Qingfang really likes his research projects! 
 Shang Qinghua lets himself feel kind of good about this gift - he’s the man who gets things and gets things done - and ignores the Weeper’s Eye whispering in his head,  “He has resigned himself to the untimely deaths of everyone he knows.” 
 (Wow. Oh, Shang Qinghua knows that feeling!) 
-
AN: Mu Qingfang doesn’t think that everyone around him is inevitably going to die, he’s just extremely aware of how dangerous the world is and how reckless cultivators can be. Also, for many years, he was fairly certain that Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu were headed for bad ends. 
This felt like a good place to insert some optimism back into the sect in general. Luo Fanli has been cured and is willingly going to visit her sister, Liu Qingge has got a hold on his self-destructive tendencies, Mu Qingfang thinks things are getting better, Shen Qingqiu’s health problems have been essentially fixed, Qijiu might actually work their shit out, Shen Yuan shares his real name with Shang Qinghua, and so on and so forth. 
It felt like a good contrast with and buildup towards Luo Binghe’s Skinner mistake (not everything is rosy yet, there are still growing problems), the secret basement, and the encounter with Bing-Ge. 
Only to flip that around and then bring some surprise Moshang into things! 
“I have now been informed that, after learning that you had returned and, at the very least, completing the duties that were intended to have him reflect on his actions, he has disappeared yet again,” Shen Qingqiu continues. “This second disappearance has set some of the other junior disciples into a renewed panic, which has concerned some of the senior disciples, which was, apparently, cause to alert me.”   
 “Ah,” Shang Qinghua says. 
-
AN: Shen Jiu should not be in charge of a bunch of children, but it is funny to imagine him going through the same “be a less shit person” adoption process as Shang Qinghua. Like, oh, it would be so easy for him to be cruel about this situation, but fuck you if he’s going to be outdone in the recovery and redemption process by Shang Qinghua of all people. 
Shang Qinghua: *grows into a kind of decent person* 
Shen Jiu: “Fuck you. That’s not allowed.” 
Shen Jiu: “...” 
Shen Jiu: “Well, if THAT FUCKER of all people can do it...” 
 Shang Qinghua doesn’t have to look long or far to find his nephew. He finds the young protagonist sitting despondently on the doorstep of his own Leisure House, sniffling into his sleeve. Peerless Cucumber of all people is sitting beside him and keeping him company. 
  “Focusing on other people’s lives is easier than looking at his own.” 
 “-think a drowning man first has to save himself… or else he’s only going to bring down the people he’s trying to save,” Peerless Cucumber is saying. 
 Binghe nods. 
AN: Going by, like, the everything of SVSSS, Shen Yuan really is the asshole going, “I’ll die before I look inwards to recognize and deal with my own emotions.” Also, going, “Yes, I’m a hypocrite who won’t take my own advice. And what about it?” What a repressed nerd. 
 Shang Qinghua clears his throat to get their attention. Both kids (well, teenager and young adult, but still...  kids)  look up and then stand up quickly. Luo Binghe takes a forgetful step forward, before he wobbles into an appropriate respectful bow instead. 
 “Shang-Shishu!” 
  “How dearly this boy is loved!”  the Weeper’s Eye declares, in its soft way inside Shang Qinghua’s head.  “More than life itself! More than death itself!” 
 “Ah, never mind all that,” Shang Qinghua says, and steps forward to wrap his nephew in a quick hug instead, keeping the creepy talking eye oriented away from his nephew. “You’re a little too late to talk to me about your mission before your shizun did.” 
 Binghe, who was just relaxing into the unexpected hug, freezes. 
 Shang Qinghua knowingly pats the poor young protagonist on the back.
  “Oh, shit” is right! 
AN: Uncle Shang really is adorable. Still kind of knocks me for a loop writing it, though, given that the SVSSS SQH and LBH relationship is... nothing like this whatsoever. Look upon the field of SQH and LBH content and see that it is relatively barren except for the stubborn motherfuckers with excellent taste in character exploration. 
-
  “Ahhh, well, I’ll be there too for this potential family reunion, bro,” Shang Qinghua assures him. “Maybe we can finally get to the bottom of where this ‘Shen Yuan’ name came from.” 
 Peerless Cucumber makes a strange expression. 
 “What?” 
 “...It’s my name.” 
 “What?” Shang Qinghua repeats. 
 “It’s my name,” Peerless Cucumber says again, quietly. “It’s my real name.” 
 “Oh.” 
  “Huh,” Shang Qinghua thinks, having been operating on the assumption that the System made the name up for its mysterious backstory. Well, that gives new dimensions to Peerless Cucumber’s criticism of the scum villain! 
 “You can use it,” Peerless Cucumber says, with an air of determined nonchalance. “Everyone else is doing it.” 
 “Ah, alright. Thanks.” 
AN: This is probably the part where I would have made Shang Qinghua reveal his original name in turn... IF HE HAD ONE. It drives me... kind of wild that we get the Airplane Extras and we STILL don’t get 1) Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky’s original name, and 2) MOBEI-JUN’s name. 
Which actually makes things a little more interesting here, in my opinion, even though not having those names gets a little frustrating in terms of fanfiction writing. With Mobei-Jun, you get to explore the fucked up possibilities of him not having a name outside of his identity as the future Northern King. With Shang Qinghua, you get to explore him being a squirrelly little fuck who refuses to let anyone into his life. 
So, because we don’t have Airplane’s name, we actually get this mildly interesting dynamic in which Shang Qinghua doesn’t even really think to reveal it to Shen Yuan. We don’t see this part, but Shen Yuan is actually a little miffed by this degree of secrecy, which is going to come up later. (Shen Yuan doesn’t like the fact that Shang Qinghua has as much power over him as he does.) 
I personally do not hold the headcanon that Airplane’s name was “Shang Qinghua”. It’s a little too on the nose for me. At that point, the only reaction to transmigrating into SQH kind of has to be, “Ah, well, I was asking for that!” Maybe Airplane projected his worst qualities onto Shang Qinghua, but I don’t think he went so far as to give the character his own name. 
Airplane’s main identity when he died appears to have been Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, and we know that he wasn’t particularly close to his divorced parents and any step- or half-siblings. So, the only names that are really relevant post-transmigration are “Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky” and “Shang Qinghua”. By the time that SY gets here, he’s firmly entrenched in those identities, and his original name is completely irrelevant. I could honestly believe that Airplane just doesn’t think it matters anymore. 
 Shang Qinghua’s nephew, in the way of a true young protagonist or  fucking cannon fodder, got the bright fucking idea to slip away to speak with the concubine called Butterfly privately. 
 “I thought: what if she didn’t want to speak in front of that lecherous old man? What if she wanted to get away from him?” Binghe confesses. 
 “She was the demon,” Shang Qinghua guesses. 
 Binghe nods, voice breaking. “It was…  I was  really,  really stupid, Uncle.” 
 “Well, at least you know that,” Shang Qinghua sighs, and pats his sniffly nephew on the back again. 
 Oh, he can see why Shen Qingqiu was  pissed the fuck off now. Shang Qinghua kind of wants to start yelling! Or maybe just screaming, coherently or otherwise! 
 Except yelling isn’t going to help much right now. 
 Shang Qinghua listens as Luo Binghe recounts being captured by the demon and then waking up bound by Immortal Binding Cables - of being so terrified that he could barely breathe with it. His only hope was Ning Yingying and Ming Fan tattling on his disappearance and a senior disciple tracking him down on time. The skinner demon apparently nearly killed Binghe, crooning over his young and beautiful skin, except a flash of warm light intervened and dropped an unstable part of the ceiling in on them before they could hurt the captured protagonist. 
 “Fu-Shijie and Shizun arrived after that and k-killed it,” Binghe says. “Uncle, it was all  stupid luck!  Shizun said I should have been dead and that, between my efforts and the demon’s, he had no idea how I wasn't! And he was right! It was  so close! If the ceiling hadn’t fallen in like that-! Fu-Shijie suggested the ropes might be faulty and it could have been an unconscious use of spiritual energy, but I didn’t do anything! It wasn’t me!” 
 It  sounds like the System to Shang Qinghua, intervening again at a crucial moment to prevent the premature death of the protagonist. Just thinking about how close his nephew came to dying without him knowing is nearly enough to inspire a cold sweat! Shang Qinghua can’t speak about the System, so all he can really do is keep hugging! Keep holding on for dear life and saying soothing nothings to his crying nephew! 
AN: I wanted to include the Skinner mission, but I didn’t want to redo it onscreen because that’s been done in many fanfictions before and I felt that there was really no good reason for Shang Qinghua to be a part of it. The reason I wanted to include it is to show how the plot is off the track of the SVSSS (and PIDW) stories, with the changed LBH and the changed Original SQQ. 
LBH wants to be a hero, but he’s not there yet. 
 “...Don’t put yourself above him… or below him. Tell him what you want and listen to what he wants, and don’t be surprised if things don’t change all at once,” Shang Qinghua advises and, at Yue Qingyuan’s look, quickly raises his hands. “Ahhh, not my business, I know! Not my business! I just… I hope it works out! I hope you two get something better out of this mess! Aha, make the sect meetings a little less awkward and… things.” 
  “He has never known what better looks like. He will always be Yue Qi, the slave boy. No matter what he does.” 
 “...Thank you,” Yue Qingyuan says finally, thoughtfully. “I appreciate your… restraint in this matter… in recent months.” 
 Aha, yikes. 
-
AN: I know that some people wanted more stomping on Yue Qingyuan, but... like... this man is as or nearly as traumatized as Shen Qingqiu. His childhood fucking sucked. He broke his own soul trying to save Shen Jiu and failed. He made some shit decisions where Shen Qingqiu was concerned, but the logic and trauma he’s operating on are pretty obvious. He was trying. 
Part of the theme around the Qijiu and Moshang arcs has also been “an eye for an eye”. Like, are you guys really going to keep on not communicating with each other and then fucking up and then taking chunks out of each other? How many misunderstandings and upset over misunderstandings are you going to throw at each other? Where do you put your foot down and say, “I don’t want to live like this forever. We can be better than this. I want better than this.” 
Like, it can’t just be hurting each other back and forth (this applies to Qijiu more than Moshang, in which MBJ definitely carries the weight of this fuck-up). It can’t just be privately nursing hurt feelings forever. The options here are “fix it” or “live like this forever”. Fixing it won’t happen immediately, but the other option fucking sucks, so every little step helps. 
So Shang Qinghua here is just like, “Bro, I’m tired. My anger has cooled a lot. I just want all our lives to suck less. I hope things work out for you.” 
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mythrilhusk · 4 years
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!!Kill Techno-Sensei!! - Chapter One
Dream SMP x Assassination Classroom AU. Quackity-centric. No ships. 
Words: 1850 Chapter Two (Next) AO3 Version
ALL characters are based off of the Dream SMP characters, Not the content creators (some people are left out due to this, since they have no perceivable RP character). This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope y’all enjoy.
Content warnings: violence, panic attacks/anxiety, death mention, swearing (lots)
CHAPTER ONE (Kill A Little Time):
"Ten billion dollars??" Sapnap's amazed cry startles Quackity out of his tired stupor. Connor and Foolish crowd around Sapnap's desk, babbling with excitement. 
"What the fuck are you on about?" Quackity grumbles, but he can't help peeking over Sapnap's shoulder. The creased document seems to be a bunch of lousy legal drivel. 
"Big Q, the price on this guy's head! We'd be set for life!" 
Quackity makes a grabby gesture, and Sapnap gives the papers to him. His little gang of three-- (missing Karl, since the bastard had to get himself transferred to a different class)-- gathers around him as he flips through them.
That man’s face-- printed in thick, bold strokes on the third page-- clamps a vise around his throat, so tight it constricts the scream he wants to let out. He takes a deep breath. Holds it. Lets it out slowly. "This fucker??" He tosses the papers away dismissively. "He'll be dead in a day with that bounty." Foolish and Connor scramble to snatch the papers, vying for the prestige of being the first to share with the whole class. 
Sapnap, sweet Sapnap, leans over and murmurs worriedly, "You okay, Big Q?" 
"Fuck, I'm great!" Hysteria bites in Quackity's laugh. "Fucking hell, I'm- I'm- I'm abso-fucking-lutely screwed." 
"Why?" 
"Why?? That's- you know who that is!!" Quackity cries, not caring that the attention of his peers is being drawn to his outburst, like moths to fire, or like vultures to roadkill. 
"Yeah, but- yeah, he'll be dead in a day." Sapnap lets Quackity squeeze his hand. "You'll be fine. And if he dares to come anywhere near you, the Ducklings have your back." 
Quackity shudders. The thought of his friends going up against the dark shadow from his past fills him with terror. The terror fills him with helpless weakness. Which in turn feeds the vitriolic bitterness rooted deep inside his veins. "N-no, Sapnap. If he comes near, you run." 
"Who teh fock are you runnin' from? I wouldn't run. I'd stand there, and I'd fight it. I'd beat the shit outta it!" Tommy puffs his chest out as he stomps to his desk beside Quackity's, a sunny ray of cheering bravado. "All the ladies, all the ladies say, there goes a man who beats the shit outta what- whatever bothers him." 
Quackity laughs, burying the fear and acidic rage. "Aww, Big T, you'd fight a thousand armies for me?" 
"What?? No, I'd die." Tommy states.  
"You're a good man, Tomathy." 
"No man is good, Big Q. No man is good." 
The other students have all seated themselves in their assigned desks. There's a new teacher this year. Quackity wishes he'd had time to set up a few more pranks than horseradish sauce in the hand lotion dispenser and whoopee cushions on the teacher's chair. But he's not bad at improvising. 
The door opens, and the principal of the school strides in, her fluffy rainbow hair bouncing with every step. "All rise and bow for Captain Pussy!!" Tommy cries. Quackity busts a lung, he's laughing so hard. 
"T-Tommy, that's- that's not very nice, Tommy." Captain Puffy frowns, tapping her five-inch heels on the grimy linoleum. 
"Oh, right. Sorry, Captain." Tommy accepts the reproach with equanimity. "Fucking cold out, am I right, boys?" 
"And girl!!" Rose cries from the front of the class. 
"Yes, well, I was talking to mah boys." Tommy retorts with exaggerated stiffness. 
"Fucking shut up and let the goddamned principal speak!" Quackity cries upon regaining his breath from guffawing. He smiles at Sapnap. The worrywart smiles back gratefully. 
"Uh. Thank you, Quackity." Puffy sighs, looking downcast. "I'm sorry, kids. I tried to keep our school out of this. But Skeppy had- uh. The Prezz called in a few favors." 
"What's going on?" Tommy asks without raising his hand, because he's just that much of a rebel. 
Quackity's neck itches as though he's- being hunted again- no, no, that would never happen here, he's just a regular kid, in a regular school, no war criminals nearby.
But Puffy calls uncertainly to the door, "Mr. Blade?" And Quackity's heart leaps into his throat, choking him with the pounding thump-thump-thump so familiar to prey. 
"Yup." Technoblade's low, dry voice resonates through the numbly silent classroom. His shadow darkens the door. 
Quackity reaches for Sapnap's hand and squeezes tight. "No-no-no-no-" Sapnap squeezes back, fury beating in his firm pulse. Quackity takes a deep breath. Holds it. Lets it out. His friend is furious for his sake. 
Technoblade's clicking steps are the only sound in the quiet, other than Quackity's racing heartbeat. Quackity refuses to look away from Sapnap's hand, refuses to look up at the man who slaughtered his family without a single qualm. 
"I guess I'm your teacher or somethin'." A farting noise rips through the tense stillness. Quackity muffles a hysterical giggle; somebody sat on a whoopee cushion. "What a bunch of nerds." Techno's words are lightly spoken, suffocating Quackity with the terrible normalcy of it all. 
"Are you the Mr. Blade??" Of all people who could've spoken, it just has to be Tommy, doesn't it. 
"I am. Apparently." 
"Well, then. I'm going to fockin' beat the shit outta you." Tommy's voice is bright and clear, filled with brave anger. 
"K." Technoblade answers laconically, seemingly apathetic, but Quackity knows better. The fucking asshole is just restraining delight at yet another bloody massacre to feed his God with. 
"No." Quackity snarls, surprising himself with the loud intensity of his own voice. "Tommy, you're not fighting him." 
"But, Big Q-" 
"Let me handle this." Quackity flashes a grim smile to Tommy, then glares up at Captain Puffy. "Why are you letting a fucking war criminal teach highschoolers??" 
"I've renounced my violent ways, Quackity." Technoblade's calm retort chills him. "But I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for your government." Anyone else would miss the slight emphasis. Not Quackity. 
"It's not my fucking government. You killed my government, you killed them all!"
"I did what I had to do. For the greater good." 
"Um." Captain Puffy raises a hand. "Excuse me. Yes, all of you. Please calm down. We have insurance that makes it impossible for Technoblade to harm any of you-" 
"A hostage, you mean." Rage flickers beneath Technoblade's calm tone.   
A vengeful grin cracks across Quackity's dour face. "Oh... Techno, we're going to have so much fun." He dares to turn his gaze on the muzzled murderer. 
The man is smaller than he remembered. Paler. Thinner. His silky platinum hair cascades over his shoulders, braided haphazardly, with hints of pink dye streaking the tips. Technoblade doesn't smile, doesn't make any perceivable expression at all. Quackity stares him down, shooting every drop of vitriol he can muster. 
Technoblade winces, almost imperceptibly, and breaks eye contact. Battle won. A surge of euphoric power floods Quackity with confidence. "Yo, I'm going to fucking kill you." 
"You can try." Technoblade smiles. 
"You're just a human, Technoblade. Terrifying? Yeah, sure. But your days are fucking numbered and I'm the one who's going to take your goddamn life." 
"Uh, actually." Puffy interrupts again. "That's the thing." 
"What is??" 
"You're all going to have to try your best to kill him before the year is out." Puffy says in a rush.  
Quackity scoffs, but before he can say anything, Techno raises a hand. "See, there's the catch, Quackity." His form glitches. "I'm not actually a Human." 
Quackity gulps down his apprehension as the piggy monster in Technoblade's chair stares him down. "What are you, then??" 
"I dunno. Maybe I'll think of a name before my tragic end." 
Puffy sighs. "Drama kings. Okay, big guy, I'm going to, uhh, yeah, I have work to do. Y'all have fun." She leaves the stricken class with the monster. 
Technoblade scratches at the horny protusions wrapping around his head like a crown. The glowing irises inside his black sclera dance around the classroom, landing on each student before leaping away again. His pig-muzzle  wrinkles. Tusks curl out from his jaws. The blood-red cloak pinned around his shoulders hides most of his bulk. If he was scary before, he's fucking terrifying now.
"A fucking pig-man?? That's what you are??" 
"Eh." Technoblade grunts noncommittally. "You should see the other guys." 
Quackity frowns. "Why us?" 
"Huh?"
"Why does the government want us to kill you??" 
"Because I told them I wouldn't let myself be killed unless they let me teach a class." Technoblade the pig-monster smiles reminiscingly. "And then I killed my captors to prove the point. The Prezz thinks he can keep me under control because I wouldn't dare hurt a child... his words, not mine." His eyes twinkle. "I'm perfectly fine with dropkicking kids, particularly if it's in self-defense." 
Gulping, Quackity shrinks a bit in his chair. Against his will, the years-old wild laughter of the bloody former-human rings through his head once more. He'll never be rid of the ecstatic sound, never be rid of the dread that poisoned his veins as he hid while Technoblade obliterated his home. Blood for the Blood God... His breath comes short and fast. 
Sapnap squeezes his hand comfortingly. The fire blazing in his best friend's eyes tells Quackity that Sapnap won't just step aside and let Technoblade hurt him again. 
"That's focken cruel!" Tommy pipes up. "You're a focken menace, yeah. Boys, I say we take him down before anyone gets hurt." 
"You can try." 
Tommy snatches the shank slipped to him by Tubbo. "You're going down, you are!" 
Quackity stands up hastily and holds Tommy back before he can storm up to the implacable monster. "Big T, sit the fuck down, you're just going to get hurt." 
"I'll decide who gets hurt, thanks." Tommy retorts. "Techno, you're not going to hurt my friends." 
"See, Tommy, I can't really do that anyway." Technoblade growls. "But if I could, do you really think that measly pin could take me down?" 
"We'll focken see!!" Tommy rips himself from Quackity's grasp and leaps froggy-like over Hannah's desk. 
Quackity can only watch in horror as Technoblade doesn't even to bother standing up. The monster deflects Tommy's first wild slash. "Tommy, that's a piercing weapon." 
"I fuckin' know that, I'm trying to shank you with it!" 
"Tommy, you're doing it wrong." Technoblade sighs, starting to sound exasperated as Tommy fails swing after swing. 
"Tell me how to kill you, then!" 
"You can't." Technoblade spreads his arms. "Go ahead, try." 
Quackity gasps with delight as Tommy stabs the shank into Technoblade's chest. But Tommy screeches and lets go of the shank. The metal boils and melts into Technoblade's skin. 
"Wh-what the hell??" Tubbo leaps up and drags the stunned Tommy back to his desk. 
"The fuck was that??" Quackity cries, desperate to regain some semblance of control. 
"That? Merely a side effect." 
"Of what??" 
"Of being the first Mutant Earth has ever seen." Technoblade smiles unpleasantly. "And the last to ever exist. Make no mistake. If I'm not killed by this time next year, I will destroy this world."
==Please reblog and like if you enjoyed!! Thank you!!== 
Chapter Two (Next)
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sunshineandfangs · 5 years
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Lust, Oleander, Violence, and Edelweiss
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I had very much hoped to have more written, but work and uncooperative writing ability got in my way. That being said I wanted to give something to the lovely Luiza @itsnotacrimetoloveyou​. So I suppose consider this the short prologue. Happy Birthday!!!
PS The title was a struggle and I am such a nerd for making it what it is.
---
Her knuckles rapped against the solid oak of her father’s office door, its dark varnish and intricate woodwork a bit ostentatious in her humble - correct - opinion. There was a long pause, the faintest trace of voices silencing.
“Come in, daughter.”
She hid the slight sneering curl of her lips, nothing but a polite smile present as she stepped into the room. Perhaps, there was something to be said for her father’s ambition after all. For if her eyes did not deceive her, that was Don Mikaelson elegantly sprawled in one of the leather chairs, his bearing containing all the lethal grace of a predator.
Caroline pivoted, letting her hair shield her face for half a moment, as she closed the door with a near silent click. The deceptively innocent looks, short blonde curls and blue eyes, shockingly pink lips. Yes, he matched the rumors well. They said death was never crueler than when delivered by his angelic visage.
Well, good for him. 
Her chin was raised as she turned back around, taking a few steps closer.
“You wanted to see me, father?”
“Yes, my dear,” he said, his eyes barely shifting from his other guest, an odd expression on his face. “What say you, Don Mikaelson?”
Caroline felt when his gaze settled on her, though she refused to return his regard, her eyes staring at her father’s now silent form. A taste like poison settled on her tongue. Her suspicions were stirring and she did not like where they were leading.
From the corner of her eye, she saw the devilish tilt of his lips, felt his eyes still boring into her. Then he spoke. His tone light and lilting, lips curling around a British accent. Almost mocking.
“She’s certainly a lovely bird, William.” She wanted to cackle at the crease in her father’s brow. Her father was angry, she could feel it, offended by the slight against him. So, much for those ambitions, huh? Not even meriting a ‘Don Forbes’? Of course her schadenfreude shattered with his next words. “But please do enlighten me on why she’s worth such a generous trade agreement?”
“Caroline,” her father started, a bit of a bite in his voice, “is an ideal companion. Beautiful, intelligent. And her power’s subtle, perfect for swaying a room in your favor.”
She feared her teeth would break from the force with which she clenched them, poison and acid and bile boiling in her stomach.
Half her mind remained focused on the real threat in the room, aware of how he had gone still and calculating. The rest of her was too busy being infuriated beyond words, nearly beyond thought. She didn’t know what disgusted her more, the idea her father was such a piss poor negotiator in the presence of a more powerful Don and he was still trying to foist her off or that he just wanted to be rid of her that badly and didn’t care how desperate he seemed. 
Though it didn’t really matter did it? Either way, her own father - though he was that no longer, he was dead to her - was trying his utmost to fucking sell her like a whore.
Caroline inhaled a quiet breath, loosened her jaw, unclenched the ball of her fists that she hadn’t even noticed in her turmoil.
Don Mikaelson spoke before words could spit from her lips and she was almost grateful for the time it granted her to reign in her rage, temper it, hone it into a weapon she could wield rather than an uncontrolled explosion.
“I’m rather insulted that you believe me such a fool.”
Bill’s brow twitched again, an indignant light in his eyes as he opened his mouth to plead his case, but Don Mikaelson cut him off with a raised hand. “Enough. I don’t care for your excuses. I’ll take the girl for the night as payment for this waste of time. If she’s as useful as you promised then we’ll talk.”
Whatever parting words the two offered to each other was swallowed by the roaring in her ears. Somehow her emotions had flown right past fury and into shocked unreality. It took several mindless steps in the Don’s shadow for her brain to turn back on. And there were only two thoughts running through her head. 
One, William Forbes was a dead man walking. She didn’t care how long it took. 
And two, if Niklaus Mikaelson thought he could so much as put a finger on her without her consent, he could join Bill in Hell.
---
The car ride was silent, Caroline seething and plotting while the Don seemed to be ignoring her. Between courtesy and disregard, she would place her bets on the latter. Still, she didn’t doubt he spared a fraction of his attention to subtly observe her as she did him.
If only she could get away with gouging his pretty blue eyes out. Alas, only the stupid and the suicidal tangled with the Mikaelson Family. Especially alone with no allies to her name.
Caroline smoothed an invisible wrinkle from the blue silk of her dress, eyes flicking up to peer out the tinted windows as the town car rolled to a stop.
A breath rushed from her nose. 
They were off a public street, not even twenty minutes outside the city proper. For God’s sake they had just passed a school a block back, and yet that did not change the three stories of ironically white, gorgeous and ridiculous mansion which greeted her gaze. Eyes darting, she took in the wrought iron fence and what she could see of the grounds. Was that a fountain peaking through one of the manicured hedges?
Caroline swallowed a hysterical giggle.
Bill loved Valentino and stocking his wine cellar with Domaine Leroy. Don Mikaelson probably had a Stuart Hughes Diamond Edition suit as a showpiece.
The sound of her side door opening made her jolt, and she cursed herself as her gaze settled on the Don. The Don who had somehow already exited and made his way around to her side of the vehicle without her noticing a thing.
Beneath layers of ice, Caroline felt the little flickers of his amusement.
She bit her tongue hard enough to taste blood. Refused to let her hand shake as she placed it in his. Refused to flinch away from the heat of his guiding hand at her back.
His foyer was as opulent as the exterior promised. All marble flooring and intricate wall carvings. The click of her heels seemed to echo in the large space as they continued on. Straight to the end of the hall. Right at the Rembrandt. Left at the Steinway. Straight again. Up a spiral staircase with golden ivy swirling down its banister.
Her shoulders did not jolt when a chuckle came from beside her. “I can practically hear the cogs turning in your pretty little head, love.”
She continued to look straight ahead. “Bill told you my name not even thirty minutes ago, is your memory that terrible?” 
“Not at all, he also mentioned intelligence did he not?”
There was nothing menacing in his tone, but she bit her tongue all the same. The taste of the bitter iron of her blood still lingering.
“My apologies, Don Mikaelson, I don’t enjoy pet names.”
The two of them stopped before a plain oak door, and she took the chance to peer at him from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t get a read on him, the little tendrils of his emotions once more tucked away. He led them inside in lieu of responding and near glided to his seat behind his desk. 
Two chairs sat perched in front of his monstrosity of a desk. Perfectly angled and placed within the space. She eyed them, coming to stand behind the one on the left, fingers curling along the wood and leather of its backrest. 
Her gaze returned to the Don, ignoring the slight arch of his eyebrow, the return of the little flickers of amusement. Truly exactly what she wanted, to be found funny by a man such as Niklaus Mikaelson. And he still said nothing, glancing down to fiddle with a drawer.
Though his eyes remained on her as he set the silver wrist cuff he had retrieved on the desk. It would have been plain if not for the shimmer of  encrusted orange crystals. Crystals so fine they were practically dust.
Her index finger shifted a few degrees as she struggled to regulate her breathing. Those gems were imperial topaz. They had to be. And if her eyes were not mistaken, and she highly doubted she was, the metal, bright and flawless, was platinum not silver.
“I’ll give you a choice,” He said, eyes still not straying from hers, voice level as if his words weren’t dripping in irony. “You can wear this and be my guest for the night or you can refuse and enjoy the hospitality of my dungeons instead.”
There were no mirrors in the room, but had there been one Caroline was sure she would look sickly. Pale and stricken. Choice? This was no choice. Not when just looking at that awful, damning piece of jewelry made her insides freeze.
She gritted her teeth, nails marring leather. Color rushed back into her cheeks. She wanted to hit him. Hurt him until he bled.
A breath. 
Her fingers released their death grip on the chair and her cheeks cracked under the strain of her icy smile.
“I’ll take the dungeon, thanks.”
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scone-lover · 4 years
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@findingniamho​
HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 
Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!
So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 
So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.
Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.
Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--
“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”
I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 
As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--
t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.
(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)
Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 
Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.
I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 
“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”
This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 
Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 
There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.
I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.
I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.
I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.
A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.
I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.
I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”
PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 
And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.
I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 
I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.
Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 
I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 
Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.
Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.
I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.
I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 
Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either
“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”
I know. This one’s bad.
He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.
I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.
I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 
Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.
Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.
“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”
I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.
Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.
“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 
Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.
Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet
I think Penny is just me in this.
“Over-easy,” I whisper.
“That was over-easy,” he says.
Not my best. But it had to be in there.
I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:
I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  
My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.
Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:
You're washed out, egghead
*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk
I had to go "beat" some eggs
*uppercut* Sunny side UP!
I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’
Some people are just bad eggs
Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 
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runawaymarbles · 5 years
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More or less just the opening montage from 'Hard Times' but they're lesbians - a series of vignettes from the Garden to now.
parable of shepherds by Lvslie | 6k | T |
‘Aziraphale, you need to stop telling that goddamned story to everyone we stumble upon,’ she hisses. ‘I’m serious. You keep it up much longer, everyone’s gonna think we’ve gone and murdered that alleged husband of mine. ‘Crowley,’ Aziraphale says blithely, a serene smile plastered to her face as a familiar-looking man passes by, ‘Dear. That’s what I want them to think.’
Nothing Like The Sun by mirawonderfulstar | 6k | T |
One tended to go through a number bodies in six thousand years, even if one was as cautious or sturdy as Aziraphale. Crowley, who was neither cautious nor sturdy, had gone through a large number. He’d changed appearance so many times that in Aziraphale’s memory he was often just his eyes, for no matter if Crowley was tall or short, lithe or stocky, blond or raven-haired, his eyes stayed the same. 
Blessed/Cursed Retirement by DictionaryWrites | 7k | T
Liam Buttersby, a very normal, nine-year-old boy, makes a friend in the retiree who has recently moved to his village in the South Downs. The retiree in question claims to hate it, and is a liar.
the technology is neutral by Deputychairman | 7k | NC-17 | 
“Stand up?” he echoed, incredulous but too undone by sensation to express the full force of his disbelief. “I can barely even remember my own name after that, and you want me to stand up?” “Your name is Anthony J Crowley, apparently, although you never did tell me what the J stood for so I can’t help you there,” he said, not hiding his smile. “Do stand up, I promise you’ll like it.”
Part of the Plan by HardlyFair | 7k | T |
In which things do not return to the exact way they were Before.
Where Thou Art by Mottlemoth | 7.5k | M | 
A late-night bus to London, a few human comforts, and a long overdue confession... nothing will ever be the same for an angel and his demon.
The Ark by rfsmiley | 7k | T 
We’ve all been assuming that it takes them 6,000 years to figure it out, but what if it takes 6,300?
Or: the ineffable husbands evacuate a dying Earth.
Ad Astra by drawlight | 8K | NC-17
Some things can only be said in the dark.
except you enthrall me, never shall be free by curtaincall | 8k | T
It's a classic story: Angel meets knight. Angel volunteers to get beheaded by knight. Knight turns out to be angel's demon frenemy. Somehow, there is kissing. Based on the Middle English ballad Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.
Falling Rain by Aria | 8k | T |
Once upon a time, an angel and a demon hitched a ride on the Ark.
such surpassing brightness by Handful_of_Silence | 8k | G | 
The revelation that Aziraphale might have been in love with him for thousands of years is surprising. The fact that literal books have been written on the subject comes as even more of a shock.
Without Creativity by htebazytook | 8k | NC-17 |
Another Crowley and Aziraphale through the ages fic, with some heavy symbolism thrown in for good measure.
Exit Wounds by racketghost | 8k | T
“At least they were together for a time,” Crowley says, staring at the lit end of his cigarette, “maybe that’s enough.”
On The Matter Of Touch by Somedrunkpirate | 9k | T
“On the matter of touch,” Crowley begins, waving his teaspoon in what he hopes passes for idle curiosity. “Thoughts?”
and, so on by PaintedVanilla | 9k | M | 
Crowley doesn’t remember heaven, but Aziraphale remembers him.
Going Home by Daegaer | 9k | G | 
Aziraphale is recalled to Heaven, Crowley isn't impressed.
The future's going to break through by nieded | 10k | T
My take on South Downs: Aziraphale and Crowley decide to become professors. This is inspired by the headcanon that Crowley has 20 different degrees. He is the Serpent of the Tree of Knowledge after all.
Wings and How to Hide Them by triedunture | M | 10k 
Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends? Or: Aziraphale definitely fucks and isn't that just perfect?
The Gospel of Crowley by gutterandthestars | 10k | T
Crowley tempts Jesus in the wilderness! Turns out Jesus gives as good as he gets. Also Crowley pines over Aziraphale and has Big Gay Angsty Feelings because, well. Because Crowley.
A Nanny? In MY Summoning Circle? by pukner | 10k | Not Rated
(it's more likely than you think) Warlock "Lockie" Dowling summons a demon. Or, he buys a book off a suspiciously familiar bookseller and is convinced into demon summoning. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
damn.nation, now available on itunes by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | 10k | T
When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.
Lie Back And Think Of Dinner by jessthereckless | 11k | M |
"Crowley, this is a disaster. This is everything I ever wanted. We’re in love. And there’s a picnic. And we don’t seem to be able to get…amorous without causing earthquakes.” Aziraphale attempts subterfuge. Crowley sees right through him.
Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine | 11k | T
Crowley confesses early, and Crowley confesses often. Aziraphale never knows quite what to say.
A Resurrection of Whales, and Other Omens of Varying Goodness by Margo_Kim | 11k | WIP | T
After the end of the world doesn't end anything, Heaven and Hell send replacements to Earth while the old representatives try to figure out their new normal.
Serpentine by sergeant_smudge | 11k | G |
Five ways in which Crowley is a snake. *And one more thing.
what's to come by PepperPrints, restlesslikeme | 11k | T 
Post-Apocalyptic AU. Even without the Antichrist, both Heaven and Hell insist on Armageddon. Aziraphale is missing and Crowley sets out to find him, driving through a scorched Earth with a witch in his passenger seat.
Basking by bomberqueen17 | 15k | NC-17
Crowley is extremely confused about how or whether celestial beings can experience physical sexual desire. He's also not fantastic at using his words. Things go all... snake-shaped.
Nanny Knows Best by DictionaryWrites | 17k | M
Being a nanny, that should be simple. Simple. Easy as pie. Crowley wished that were true.
One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan | 17k | NC-17
"All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?” Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval. "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."
Soft (A Love Story in Three Bites) by mia_ugly | 18.3k | NC-17
Crowley was an angel, once. Before she fell. Aziraphale was a warrior (she fell too. It just took a little longer.)
The Persephone Clause by Zetared | 20k | T |
When Crowley is forcibly recalled to home office, Aziraphale conspires with a denounced saint and strikes a deal with the agents of Hell to get him back.
in search of the wind by drawlight | 27k | NC-17
After the World Doesn't End, Aziraphale is not returned to his body. Crowley tries to find a way to get to Heaven's fast-shut gates. Aziraphale tries to find his way back from the sky (and back in time).
And So We Come Full Circle by Hekateras | 30k | T | 
"Angel. You know it's gonna be really bad, this time around," Crowley says slowly. "When the times comes, I want you to-"
Mirror, Mirror by ImprobableDreams900 | 44k | T
Adam, Eve, and Crawly flee Eden through the Western Gate, and it turns out that that simple decision makes all the difference in the world...
Slow Show by mia_ugly | 90k | NC-17
In which temptations are accomplished, grand romantic gestures are made, and two ineffable co-stars only take four seasons of an award-winning television program to realize they’re on their own side (at last, at last.)
Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm | 100k | T
What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?
Eden!verse by ImprobableDreams900 | 550k | T-M
When Crowley gets captured by angels and dragged up to Heaven, Aziraphale knows he has to rescue him—no matter the consequences.
1K notes · View notes
dcarevu · 5 years
Text
Batman TAS: Dreams in Darkness
“Isn’t that why I’m here? Because I’m…disturbed?”
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Episode: 28 Robin: Yes (Hallucination) Writers: Judith Reeves-Stevens and Garfield Reeves-Stevens Director: Frank Paur Animator: Studio Junio Airdate: November 3, 1992 Grade: A
Arkham Asylum sucks, doesn’t it. BTAS makes it pretty unclear whether criminals escape or get released most of the time (legally or illegally). But sometimes we are given an x-ray of the inner-workings, and it pushes away any hope that Gotham City has a way of cleaning up its reputation. The last time we had an episode featuring the Scarecrow, we found out that the Scarecrow was supposed to be contained, but a sketchy guard was hiding the fact that he actually was not in his cell. I’m not sure how long that charade could have been kept up, but for the Scarecrow, I doubt that mattered too much, right? Ironically, though, you would think the last thing an escaped patient would want to do would be to wear their infamous costume, stay in the same city, and cause a lot of recognizable trouble in an area as public as a college campus, but we are not exactly dealing with the sane here… This time, only a few episodes later, Scarecrow has somehow gotten out of captivity again. But instead of going all trick-or-treat at sports games, he opts to keep his activities hidden in the shadows below Arkham. There is an old George Carlin routine where he explains how theoretically, living next to a prison ought to be fairly safe. After all, an escaped prisoners are certainly not about to hang around, they’re going to get as far away as possible! Scarecrow may be crazy, but he also seems to be quite intelligent. He was a college professor as some evidence. He probably knows that one of the last places the police would look for him would be under the floor boards. And even here, he hides in the dark, giving orders from the void we so often see cloaking our characters on this show. On top of this, he speaks with a much more menacing voice than before, and at first I thought it was a different voice actor. But no, it is still Henry Polic II. Andrea Romano must have figured out how to actually make the master of fear the least bit intimidating, and it’s about time. Scarecrow for some reason took a while for them to figure out, with him being incredibly goofy in his first appearance, merely spooky in his second, and now incredibly sinister-seeming. Even his mask-design is ever-so-slightly different, although the difference in effect is negligible. What I appreciate more is the difference in his body and posture. Nothing to Fear portrayed him as moving in a very floppy, bouncy fashion, like a Scarecrow might in a little kid’s “Happy Halloween” cartoon special. His body now is angled quite nicely, and he almost stands the way a living corpse would. I’m glad Scarecrow went out on a high note, for the most part (as this is his last major appearance in Batman TAS). Don’t worry, that does not mean that this was his last major appearance in the DCAU!
When the episode starts, we do not know that the Scarecrow will be involved. We get a shot of some Arkham employees talking about a “new patient” who was experiencing some hallucinations. When the cell door is opened and the lights are turned on, we see that it is Batman of all people! When you are not even a minute in, and this is what the episode brings us, it’s like, “Wait. What the hell happened off screen before the show started exactly??” The show immediately plays with our expectations, setting up a mystery and leaving us unsure of whom to trust. We’ve been with Batman for 28 episodes now (plus a pilot), but we also know that he is perhaps not all mentally there, much like so many of his foes. Witnessing him bound in a straight jacket and being treated by doctors is hardly outside the realm of realistic possibilities! But we also know that something screwy is certainly going on, and the way the doctors talk, it’s harder to trust them then it is Batman.
Batman desperately attempts to explain what is going on to the doctors, and asks them if they contacted the people they were supposed to contact, but all he gets as a response is, “He needs more time. See that he’s not disturbed.” GAAAHHHHHH. Pet peeve! I hated as a kid when I would try to explain something, yet no one would take me seriously. It’s infuriating! The doctors act like they care and they are there to help, but ultimately, them listening to what Batman is saying is all an act! They are not hearing the supposedly sane words that they want to hear, so Batman’s garble is meaningless. That has got to be so frustrating, especially given the fact that Batman is trying to save the city from an underground threat!
After this scene, we get some narration done by Batman himself, and this subtly lets us know that, no, we didn’t miss anything, and that it will all be explained by the end of the episode. Batman narrating is also super badass. It would have been real easy to make it cheesy, but Kevin Conroy knows how to deliver. The narration also assures us that Batman is not the crazy one, because his words sound confident (despite showing deep distress) and they make sense. He isn’t talking like a crazy person would talk. We are about to do something that those doctors were not willing to do, and that is hear him out. The narration leads us to a flashback scene (with an awesome music score) where Batman attempts to stop some thugs from messing with the Health Spring Spa’s drinking-water supply, but he ends up being exposed to this red gas that the thugs were going to pump into the pipes. A voice on the thugs’ communication unit also mentions that Batman is “right on schedule”, so we know that this gas was all-too deliberate. This hear helps us piece together the puzzle of why Batman could be locked away. It obviously has to do with the chemicals that he inhaled, but what are the details? And who is behind it? It becomes more obvious as Batman looks up at his screen during a flashback and sees the reflection of the Joker walking toward him. Turning around, he realizes that it is actually Alfred who was approaching. Obviously concerned, he sneaks into a doctor’s office and allows Dr Wu to examine his blood. Apparently the hallucinations are set to get much, much worse, putting him in a state of psychosis. This is where he understand Batman’s intensity earlier in the episode when talking to the Arkham employees. Not only does he need to stop Gotham’s entire water supply from being poisoned by this gas, but he has limited time before he himself goes completely off the deep end. And that brings us to perhaps the greatest thing about this episode.
In Nothing to Fear, we got some fear-hallucinations, triggered by Scarecrow’s toxin. And they were, well, nothing to fear, honestly. We got the image of Bruce’s father’s floating head, telling him that he disgraced the family name for a couple of seconds. It served the plot of the episode, but the weight of it wasn’t exactly felt. We got another one where Bruce’s father turned into a skeleton-like figure, but again, it didn’t do a lot for me. The hallucinations seen in Fear of Victory were a lot better, but they still weren’t the best of the best. Dreams in Darkness, though, this is the Pink Elephants episode. It’s the peyote-in-the-desert episode. It’s the Squidward in Clarinetland episode. The hallucinations that Batman experiences are incredibly intense for a show appropriate for children, the most intense one being the giant pistol that goes off, representing the murder of Bruce’s parents. This is accompanied by bloodcurdling scream from Batman that gives goosebumps. The sequence is incredible well-done, but there are several more that we get to experience. If you are into bizarro sequences in animation, this is the episode where BTAS did a bunch of them, and I would say it is worth checking out just for that. But add in some other great things like a good mystery, the Scarecrow at his best, some awesome atmosphere, etc, and it is extremely worth checking out.
The episode even managed to fool me at one point, despite having seen it before. There is a point where the doctors inject something into Batman to sedate him. I was thinking we were gonna figure out that the stuff being injected was actually more fear-toxin, and that they were working for the Scarecrow. But no, as far as I can tell, they were legitimate doctors, even if their competence wasn’t that high. Hell, they question why Batman would think that Scarecrow might have escaped, when just four episodes ago that very thing happened. Jeez, guys. Even if they were new doctors to the place, you’d think they’d be informed that Scarecrow is a slippery one. How can anyone have confidence that Arkham Asylum is a safe place for criminals to go?
The episode of course ends with Batman facing his fears and defeating Scarecrow. Scarecrow is no match for Batman in a physical fight, and it probably brings him back to the glory days of high school where jocks beat the shit out of the nerds (that’s a joke, I was a huge nerd/geek in high school who stood no fighting chance against anyone). I loved how every time Batman would suffer a hallucination or face a new, scary challenge, he would simply keep on trucking. He would get done going through something absolutely terrifying, then stand up and calmly move forward. It was a situation where Batman knew that he had no choice, and that if he didn’t do this, then it wouldn’t matter anyway. Gotham would be up the creek without a paddle. At least until the military got involved. He even put off his own treatment (which would put him out of commission for a couple days) until after the Scarecrow problem was solved.
Check it out if you haven’t! Of course, my words can only do the show so much justice, so take a look at this episode’s screenshots! Is this an excuse to stop writing? Maybe… I’m just tired of being behind on these blogs… I’m gonna try to bust out a few of them tomorrow. It’ll put a lot less stress on me…
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Had to use the Blu Ray footage this episode. But it all looks pretty nice, so enjoy some high def!
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A twist beginning can be just as powerful as a twist ending. We also don’t often see Batman in such a powerless situation. Like Bugs Bunny (but with a completely different approach), he always exudes a sense of control.
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How do animators get this blur effect? When the camera shifts focus?
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The lighting from the window is angled gorgeously. It’s also a shot that makes you wonder how the hell Batman is ever going to escape (Char gave me this insight).
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It’s not every family cartoon where you see someone about to be drilled through the chest.
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As the Joker suddenly appears as a reflection on the screen, we don’t get an dramatic music or anything. So when we see that it’s actually Alfred, it makes us feel almost as silly as Batman for worrying. 
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A pretty good shot of Batman’s face, but the rest of his body seems off to me. Also, this is our first time seeing Batman in-costume getting help from a professional like a doctor. 
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Well animated crash sequence, ending in a shot of the asylum as two doctors sprint out, heading for the crash sight. Great transition.
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So as Batman talks to the doctors, I noticed that one of them refers to the Joker as Jack Napier. Is that his actual name in this show? Or is it merely an alias (and one of many?). No spoilers, I wanna find out through the episodes and comics!
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Here is what the Scarecrow is looking like this time. Compare this to his last appearance:
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His design is certainly shifting toward the more angular, streamlined look of future DCAU shows.
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Is that sweat or a tear, Batman????
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One of the hallucination-sequences that was so powerfully sad and ctreative (Char). Instead of simply leaving the gunshot to our ears, we see the tunnel they enter morph into a giant gun, and blood runs out of it. I don’t want to quite call this personification, but it is a very warped interpretation of what happened last night and it gives us somethin far more interesting than anything offered in Nothing to Fear where it was much more straight forward.
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Scarecrow’s clock is very cute. 
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I like how they both look at each other after missing Batman with a traguilizer dart. Like, “Good going, Frank.”
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Batman was trapped in a mental hospital where most of his arch nemeses are also being held. That has to keep a guy on edge. No wonder he’s having these particular visions. Robin and Alfred’s voice actors do a great job here sounding like evil versions of their normal selves. It’s all quite unsettling.
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Look how great he looks!!!
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This batarang moment was dope. Look at those two stills. This is Studio Junio, the same ones who animated The Underdwellers. 
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That’s all for this episode! 
This show has the ability to make so many viewers feel young again. It’s no demetrite, but it gets the job done... Join us next time!
Char’s grade: A Next time: Eternal Youth
Full episode list here!
6 notes · View notes
daydreamindollie · 7 years
Text
s.cs | care enough
Pairing: c.seungcheol x f.reader
Genre: fluff
Length: 1.2k
Drabble Prompt:
"Who gave you that black eye?"
"Don't touch me, we're fighting."
"You're so clingy, I love it."
masterlist
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With Seungcheol being the typical bad boy, who had the fragrance and grace of trouble, people tended to stir clear of him, therefore, it is only natural that you would be the first person to ever approach him.
The encounter came completely unexpected to him but you had actually planned the entire thing. Knowing that he hung out at the abandoned and wrecked music room of your school during lunch time, you made it your priority to confront him rather than get yourself lunch from the canteen.
To him, the sudden appearance of another person in his personal hide away was shocking but, to you, what was shocking was his talent for rapping and singing.
After overcoming his momentary shock, he immediately lashed out at you, questioning everything: who you were, what you wanted and would have gone on if you hadn't said what you did.
"You're so talented."
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The two of you became close friends the moment you met. Your meeting had gone on to him showing you his lyrics, rapping and singing his uncharacteristically sensitive heart out before practically soaking in all of your praise.
When talking to you, he expressed how he hated the school for taking away the music department in order to fully fund the sports facilities and you strangely harboured the same emotions in an instant in spite of your minor interest in music. The main suspect could be your feelings of wanting him to showcase his talent more openly.
It wasn't clear that the two of you were friends then but when he asked you to call him by his real name (Seungcheol) rather than the alias he had others calling him (S.Coups), your fate became just a little bit clearer, much like the gradual dispersion of moody clouds.
Delving deeper into each other's personalities and source of individuality, the two of you learned many things about the other, equating your fresh friendship into the ripeness of long-time best friends within the first few days of meeting each other.
He learned that you were a geek for anime and the arts but was also a nerd for the sciences as well as maths, which was beneficial to him when exams came creeping up on his mentally unprepared wakefulness. In turn, you learned that he could actually be really soft and gentle despite his somewhat menacing facial exterior.
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Through time you came to learn about his flaws alongside his endearing features whilst also coming to love them all.
Your crush ripened into a prospering love that dared to be challenged as you found yourself doing anything just to witness his gorgeous smiles, or have his soothing voice lovingly caress your ear, or be as physically close to him for as long as possible.
Not long after getting to know him better, you even started a petition that strived to bring back the music subject to your school.
There were times when you thought you were going insane because he never seemed to acknowledge your pronounced gestures of affection.
It wasn't until autumn that things began changing between the two of you.
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"Who gave you that black eye?" you had almost screamed upon seeing him at the neglected music room during lunch. The thing that almost frightened you more than the discovery of his injury was the fierce irate piercing glare of his usual benign eyes.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you need to tell me whenever others are giving you trouble?" he snapped barbarously.
Several weeks previous, he had unintentionally uncovered your secret. It was something you weren't proud of and had never meant for him to find out but, one day, you hadn't covered a bruise well enough with concealer and he knew in an instant. You did your best to dismiss your bullying-victim situation but was cut off by falling deeper in love through his promise in always protecting you from that day onward. It warmed your heart considerably to know that he cared so much but you still did your best to keep him from it. Now, you always double checked your concealer and smiled through the pain of every bruise and ache for him.
How did he find out?...
"You think I wouldn't hear a word about how you got jumped yesterday?!" shocked into silence by his growling voice, you stood frozen. "I'm not stupid!" he marched over, his footsteps deafening and echoing in the shell of your ear as the obscuring shadow over his eyes made you shrink back. Cringing and stopping midway at your shivering frame, his aggressively intense gaze diluted into a much more sombre one, "or maybe..." his brows furrowed and ruffled his expression into vexation once more, "maybe you're just as scared of me as you are of them!" this was an insecurity you knew he faced daily when people distanced themselves at the mere sight of him, so you quickly cried out in protest.
"That's not true!-"
"Stop lying! Why were you cowering just seconds ago?!"
Suddenly angry, you barked, "maybe it's because you were, without warning, being so frightening - shouting and scowling at me?!" it was a fair reason but he only shook his head and made for the door with an unreadable face. This made you panic as you thought back to this blackened eye, "wait, your eye-" you reached out but he slapped your hand away.
"Don't touch me, we're fighting."
Frowning, you slammed the door shut just as he creaked it open.
"Let me take care of it." you demand.
"I'm not-"
"Please..." you begged with your voice, heart and eyes, finally letting him agree. After some minutes of your careful hands taking care of him drawled by, you voiced out unexpectedly, "I don't think you know how much I care about you..."
Silence.
"Tell me then..."
"Certainly as much as you care about me."
Looking up at you, he quirked a brow as you did your best to comprehend the sudden intimacy rising in the air between you.
"Really?"
"Yes, really," you confirm with a curt laugh, "don't you trust me?"
"You need to prove it."
"How?"
"Kiss me..." you dropped your damp handkerchief and stared at him with bulging eyes, "because I care for you enough to want to kiss you."
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That day, the two of you shared your first kiss.
It wasn't until weeks later did you finally make your romantic relationship official.
However, months after that, when girls suddenly grew attracted to his bad boy look and surprising musical talent (the petition you held was overwhelmingly successful) did he discover your cute, jealous and clingy side.
You would hiss and glare at girls in such a feral manner that you became known for your vicious persona more, rather than your brains. This became an insecurity of yours but you were always reassured by your lover.
"You're so clingy, I love it." he'd peck your forehead
"I love you so much." you sighed in a daze.
"I love you more." he challenged.
"I love you most." and you'd share a kiss that was as magical as your first.
86 notes · View notes
slushblock · 7 years
Text
Fell - Chapter 7 - A Parting of the Ways
The end is nigh...
“I’m glad you didn’t leave.”
The suddenness of the statement caught Aura off guard, giving her pause just as she took hold of the chain leading to the underworld. She looked up, expression confused, “What?”
Axl smiled faintly, “You said if Ren betrayed us, you weren’t going to hang around.”
“Huh… I did, didn’t I,” Aura admitted, somewhat pensively. She looked down the pit they were readying to descend; it wasn’t the one Ren had built, rather being one they made so they wouldn’t have to rely on the traitor’s work. It wasn’t as nicely bricked and lit, but it would do. “Heh. Well, it’s just too late to back out now.”
“That’s a sunk cost fallacy and you know it,” Axl chuckled, as Aura stepped off the ledge, descending on the chain, with him following close behind,  “Thanks for sticking it out despite that.”
The trip to the Underworld was quick, but the anxiety of what they’d find there was higher than ever. They knew what to expect now, and knew what kinds of things they had to do to safeguard themselves. The stress of knowing what’d happen if they failed… it was a difficult pill to swallow, but they were rapidly running out of options. They had to take another shot at exploring now that they were better prepared. Besides the possibility of buried artifacts, Aura vaguely remembered Ren mentioning something called ‘hellstone’ before they parted ways, and any resource was valuable at this point.
After reaching the bottom - which they had decided not to open up directly into the underworld for safety and security reasons - they made the short trek through caves to reach the fiery pit below them. It had been a few days since they finished the path down without actually following through, and as they crested the stone to the burning landscape, Axl was the first to catch sight of something unusual; a long bridge above the lava, paved with gray stone brick that stood out against the macabre obsidian buildings. His puzzled expression gave way to a faintly grim realization, “...I know that handiwork…”
Aura’s expression nearly mirrored his, “Hopefully he’s not around.” She paused, eyes darting about to look for any approaching demons, “...for his sake.”
They touched down on the bridge with their respective grappling hooks, and Axl sighed heavily. Aura took a closer look at the brick. It arced well above where they’d have landed otherwise, and despite looking obviously incomplete on one end, continued almost out of sight in the other direction, “Guess he’s still serious about this, with help or not.”
“Well, obviously we still are, and he seemed more than willing to do it on his own before we showed up,” Axl admitted, also examining the bridge as they walked along it towards the incomplete end, “It’s a fairly good idea… if that wall of death can move as fast as it could, stable footing seems better than dodging around buildings and trying to get over lava-”
Before Aura could respond, the hisses and screeches of bats and other winged things drew their attention upward. Emberlike forms flitted about the dark stalactites above, agitated, but not attacking… yet. Both adventurers drew weapons, just in case, though Aura had to hold up a hand to prevent her own hornets from attacking and drawing direct aggression prematurely.
“I say we duck into a building for now,” Aura gestured with her head over to the nearest dark structure, “Worse comes to worse and there’s nothing of value in it, we can start digging into the ash from inside to see if we can find any ore.”
Axl nodded as they dropped off the side of the bridge to make their way over to the menacing building, eyes tracking the movement above. Just as Aura reached for the door, however, it swung open, causing her to jump back quickly with a shout, alerting Axl, who whirled with a similar exclamation of surprise.
Standing there was Ren, whose own sharp breath and step back giving the impression that he was just as shocked to see them as they were to see him.
He looked even more menacing than before, if that was at all possible. No longer clad in gaudy purple and red demonite armor, he was instead wearing tattered gray-green cloth overlaid with countless bones from the dungeon, carved and shaped to give him a strangely alien, exoskeletal appearance. The helmet on his head jut forward in a prominent horn, as well as smaller horns pointing back. The cloth drape on the sides of his face and neck almost - but not quite - covered his disfigurement. Some of the spiny protrusions were still visible off the infected side of his face, larger than ever.
Axl broke the shocked standstill by rushing forward. Nobody was prepared for it; not even himself. Fully taken by impulse, the younger man covered the distance in a few strides and brought up a fist, striking the larger man squarely in the side of the jaw.
“That’s for stealing my sword,” Axl muttered flatly as Ren staggered, holding his cheek. The large man seemed genuinely surprised that the skinny nerd could hit that hard, but didn’t seem surprised to have been hit in the first place. He fell to one knee momentarily, as Axl took a few steps back, to prepare for any retaliation.
None came.
“...I deserved that,” Ren sighed, hand still on his face as he pulled it to one side with a sickening crack before standing up straight, “...But I don’t regret it.” He narrowed his eyes, hand falling on his pack, “You’ve only justified my decision. What I feared.”
Aura furrowed her brow, “What? Your fear?”
Ren took a deep breath, looking down at the ground. His helmet, which already cast shadow over his eyes, now covered them completely, “While I could blame the dungeon’s… malign influence on my actions, that would be nothing more than an excuse,” he shook his head, “It played a part in my… unruly behavior, but the reason for it…” He reached into his bag, causing the other two to tense up, readying their own weapons. Ren scowled at their apprehension but understood as he continued, “I feared you would not give up that sword of your own volition. And in doing so, I feared you would be denying its true purpose.”
Before Axl could lift a finger and ask for further clarification, Ren extracted a sword from his bag unlike anything he’d seen before… at least, not as a single unit. In fact, its large size, vicious teeth, and glowing purple sheen - all somehow distilled down into a certain, uncanny elegance -
gave the impression that it combined a number of other swords Axl had, himself, crafted and used at various points in his adventure.
“The Night’s Edge,” Ren held the sword out, level with the ground and speaking its name with a strange sort of reverence that seemed unlike him, “The culmination of the savagery of this world as we know it. Corruption. Jungle. Underworld. The sword from the dungeon - the Muramasa - was the last piece of the puzzle. ” He turned the handle over in his hand, blade facing down, “A prize hard-earned, what with the knowledge required to make it. However…”
The large man thrust the sword into the ash, sticking it there and taking several steps back. He nodded, almost... respectfully? “...I have little use of it. If anyone would be a deserving wielder of this sword,” he looked up, eyes meeting with Axl’s, “...It would be you.”
“Wh- huh? Really?” Axl held up his hands in disbelief, “Are you serious?”
Ren crossed his arms and took a few more steps back, giving the weapon and its intended owner a wide berth, “Considering your fighting preferences could make far more use of it than I could, and considering what you’ve committed yourself to, yes” Ren smirked, “Just try not to cut yourself on it, weirdo.”
The statement hit right as Axl’s hand had touched the pommel and he flinched back, cheek twitching, “...Could… could you not bring it up like that? Honestly, it kind of creeps me out.” He clenched his teeth, taking in sharp, hissing breath, “It’s... not like I wanted to blurt it out down there…”
Ren chuckled darkly, shaking his head, before his expression and voice went stern, “So, why are you here?” He looked up, narrowing his eyes, “I doubt you’ve come all this way to help me with my bridge.”
Aura strode up beside Axl, her hornets further telegraphing her agitation, “Well, we were planning on looking around for treasure,” she cast a sidelong glance at Axl, who had only just taken up the dark sword after a great deal of hesitation, before turning back to Ren, “And seeing if we could mine some of that stone you mentioned.”
“Don’t waste your time,” Ren snorted as he pulled his scroll from his pack, opening it up, “As morbidly amusing as it would have been to see how you’d have handled the lava that pours from this stuff when broken apart, this is faster. I’ve no use of this stock anymore.” Closing the scroll, he gave it a wave, and a large, neatly stacked pile of glowing metal bars appeared before them. The weight of its appearance shook the ashen outcropping they were on, “I’ve already used the special forge here to alloy it with obsidian, but it’s still hot. You may want to line any armor or weapons with more if you want to use this.” He put the scroll away, chuckling, “That is, unless you want to burn to death.”
Aura reached for her own scroll. With a wave of her hand, the stacks of refined metal vanished from the ground, leaving a deep imprint behind. As she opened the scroll, she saw the runic numbers next to the metal’s symbol in its spot. It was a significant amount. The generosity left the girl puzzled, “Even after all this, you’re still trying to help us?”
“I’ve already told you my reasons for turning on you, and he’s holding the end result. Whether you like it or not, we’re still going to have to work together to finally take this thing down,” Ren crossed his arms, “If my betrayal bothers you so much, we can agree to avoid one another as much as possible.”
Without any warning, Ren pulled out his handgun - now plated and etched in the same glowing orange metal he’d gifted them - pointed it towards the two, and fired. The bullet streaked between the younger adventurers, who both jumped and cried out, only to turn and see a short, almost ratlike demon fall over dead, oozing black blood from one eyesocket. The large man glowered as he lowered the firearm, “However, do not think that there is no merit to at least trying to pitch in to get this over with sooner than later.”
Axl looked down at the sword. He could feel the power, as dark as it was. It seemed ungrateful to turn away after being given such a gift, “How much longer?”
“At my rate, it would have taken four, maybe five more days to cover a distance I’d be comfortable with,” Ren held his hand up towards the bridge as if using it to measure its progress. He turned back to the younger adventurers,  “But if you’re willing to pitch in materials and help fend off the demons so that I don’t have to keep ducking back under cover to set up shop, we could get it done in two.”
Aura looked back and forth between the two men, distrustful and not entirely on board with Axl’s willingness to so readily give a second chance. She let one of her hornets alight on her shoulder, scratching it behind one of its antennae, “And then?”
Ren shrugged, barely glancing over as he lifted his gun and fired again. It was just as startling as the first time. A flaming bat fell dead into the lava as the large man casually added, “Who knows what’s on the other side of that wall once we tear it down.”
Two days. Axl cringed at the thought. That wasn’t nearly enough time, especially not knowing what would come next. “I couldn’t even get new armor out in that time..,” with some effort, he managed to tear his attention from the Night’s Edge. There was something intoxicating about the power it radiated, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. He shook his head and stowed the sword, taking out his mirror in its place, “I’m fine with helping you, but I still don’t feel ready enough to take that thing on.” He glanced back at Aura, who nodded, looking relieved as she took out her own mirror. “But if you’re telling the truth and you did that because the Dungeon messed with you, I’m willing to help you spend three fewer days literally in Hell.”
The pause allowed the sound of roiling lava and screeching bats to take precedent, and finally Ren smirked with a short chuckle, “Fair. I guess it’s as good a time as any to take a short break from this, myself,” Ren straightened up and took a deep, huffing breath, “I could use some fresh air.”
That was enough to let Axl relax enough to grin faintly in return, “Alright… See you on the road, then.”
Ren nodded and turned to return to the building. A quick glimpse inside as the two adventurers disappeared revealed a sparse workstation with a strange furnace that seemed to be made from the hellstone he’d given them, only in brick form. Neither had a chance to really question it before their mirrors whisked them back to the surface.
Once there, the two convened in their own workroom. Axl voiced his concern, “Do you think we should have asked about that forge first?”
“Beats me,” Aura shrugged, taking out her scroll, “So, where do you want these?”
Axl pondered for a moment before gesturing over, “Just… just put them by the anvil for now, and leave one with me. I need to figure out what’s going on with it first… figure out what Ren meant when he talked about needing to do something with obsidian,” he stepped over to his own chest of working metals to dig through for the material in question, “It must really be something if it’s hotter than the meteorite.”
As Aura waved her scroll and deposited the impressive pile of fiery metal bars in their place, the Guide took interest, attention turning to them from his book. With a smile, he stood up, walking over to take a closer look.
“That’s a decent amount of hellstone there… already refined, too,” his usually sarcastic voice managed to hint at being genuinely impressed, “Whether you did it yourself down there - considering you don’t have the forge necessary to do it up here - or Ren did it for you…” he counted silently to himself, before finishing “I think you have enough here for a full set of armor, a strong pick, a sword and-”
Axl interrupted, taking a moment from organizing his smithing materials to reach into his bag, extracting the powerful, dark sword and holding it out, “Is the sword any stronger than this?”
Something crossed the Guide’s eyes for moment that was almost unreadable. Was it fear? Or simply bewilderment? It quickly passed, however, replaced by a small, sarcastic smile as he whispered under his breath, “The greatest fool is one who thinks he’s clever…”
Aura caught the muttering immediately, “Come again?”
“Nothing,” the guide dismissed with a chuckle before glancing back to the sword, “No, I suppose it wouldn’t be stronger than that.” He turned towards the door leading to the stairwell, “Now, if you’ll excuse me… I need to speak to that old man… ask if he’s seen any particular books while he was living in that dungeon…”
It was strange for the guide to ever leave the workroom. The two adventurers watched in silence as the mysterious fellow vanished around the corner down the hall alongside the stairwell to speak to the man who had shown up not long after they returned from the dungeon. Axl took off his helmet, placing it on the table so he could scratch his head, “I wonder who he meant by that…”
Aura shook her head with a soft ‘Dunno…’ as she held up her scroll, one of the bars of hellstone floating in front of it. She watched as Axl sat down, taking the metal in hand. He hissed in surprise as the heat went right though his gauntlet, dropping it on the table. The wood beneath sizzled and smoked, and the careless man quickly grabbed his own scroll to swipe it up before it could do more damage. Aura shook her head, “You really are too trusting… I wouldn’t-”
“Sure you wouldn’t, but I’m not you,” Axl looked up, expression somewhere between annoyed and apologetic. He leaned against his hand, elbow on the table,  “Look, even back home I didn’t have the best people to call friends.” He frowned, that same frown he always made when remembering home, “But if you can’t forgive people when they were obviously not thinking straight, then what’s gonna happen when you’re not?” Straightening up, he let his hand fall to the table with a metallic thud, “The guy’s paving a road down there. If that’s not good intentions, then-”
Aura cut him off, voice just as deadpan as her expression, “That’s paving a road TO Hell. Not IN it.”
Axl paused, lips pursing. He attempted to retort, and failed, “I… … shut up. You know what I mean.”
“I actually don’t, but whatever,” With a shake of her head, Aura decided to leave Axl to his hellstone experimentation. Apart from a few yelps and hisses at its impressive heat, she had a feeling he had it under control. He’d probably spend a day making a figure first to come up with a design, and then hammer the final product out properly over a few more.
Those following few days certainly had their share of eventful happenings. Axl remained behind for the most part, working on his armor, and occasionally going down to the underworld to either help Ren with the bridge, or simply add to it himself when the other man wasn’t around. Just to be sure of the hellstone’s workability, he’d at least made a frighteningly strong pickaxe with it. Aura, meanwhile, took Axl’s old demonite pick and went digging, looking for any artifacts they might have missed, more than able to stay safe with her hornet entourage.
During one of her forays back to the jungle, she managed to befriend - or bee-friend, as Axl had infuriatingly put it - the largest bee they’d seen yet, large enough to carry them. Accustomed to the sparsely-lit underground jungle, they had to fashion some eyewear for it to travel on the surface, but once it was comfortable, it was only a matter of time before the two adventurers got it to help them ascend to the large, mysterious floating islands high in the clouds… only to find that, somehow, Ren had already beaten them to the spoils.
Frustrating as it was, they still continued to help him with the bridge, and by the time it was nearly done, there was a definite feeling in the air of things drawing to a close. On the day of its supposed completion, Aura woke up, head swimming with grim anticipation. She tried to shake it from her mind as she kicked her legs over the side of her bed, throwing on her honeycomb armor and heading downstairs.
Axl was trying out his own new suit of armor, which he’d mostly finished the previous day, simply adding adornment in the remaining hours. Oddly, one of his figurines stood out on the table.
The figurine was not the one for his current suit, instead being the one he’d been working on for some time now. It looked a lot like the silver armor that Axl wore for a short time between using lead and using gold; he’d frequently lamented having to move on to better materials, since he seemed to really like the colors. This one looked a lot better than it was back in the day; having made so much armor, his skill certainly improved, and it bore a number of features he’d worked into his other suits over time.
The figurine stood on top of Axl’s “death notes” journal, in a triumphant pose rather than the usual, basic standing pose the nerd usually made his test figurines in. “What’s up with that?” Aura forced a smirk, pulling a chair over and sitting down, “You don’t honestly think you’ve triumphed over death, do you?”
“Oh?” Axl looked over at the figure then rubbed the back of his head, smiling awkwardly, “Oh! No, not at all, haha… No, I’m just revisiting the design.” He sighed, “Been dressing up in armor made from dead things and darkness… Hell itself!” He gestured at his current attire, the glowing lines of seemingly molten metal showing through the seams, “And, I mean, yeah it’s pretty metal, if you know what i mean... but if we’re going to be releasing some kind of light to fight with, maybe there’s some kind of material that the light will provide us to make armor and weapons out of, so we can arm ourselves appropriately.” His faint smile brightened only slightly as he leaned on the table, reaching over to pick up the figure and fiddle with the various articulations he had far too much time to add to it, “I just hope it all works out.”
“As do I. For all our sakes.”
They both turned to see the dryad descend the stairs. She seemed more forlorn than usual, “So you are really going to do this.”
Axl looked at her, somewhat sadly as he shrugged, but only barely, “What else is there to do? It... feels like the only way forward.”
The nature spirit looked down, eyes closed. They could feel it in the energy she radiated… that she knew and understood, but didn’t agree, “Then I cannot stay. I must warn my brethren, and those that we swore to protect. Should you succeed - now or later - then preparations for what comes next must be made.”
Axl looked away, feeling bad about that. Aura was much less resigned, her expression pleading, “...Why? Why won’t you tell us what’ll happen?”
“Because it has been so long that not even I know,” she held up a hand, looking at it as she let it slowly close, bringing it to her chest,  “I just know what got locked away; darkness, blood, and overzealous light,” she sighed, shaking her head, “I do not know what they will do once free, and for that, precautions must be taken.”
The crackling of the forge’s fire sounded all the louder for the somber silence. Finally, the dryad sighed, “Should we never meet again, I would like a memento by which to remember you.” The adventurers watched her as she paced the room, and were surprised at what she stopped by. Reaching down, the nature spirit picked up Aura’s old, V-shaped guitar,  “...May I take this with me?”
Aura took in a short breath; she’d nearly forgotten about that old thing. It surprisingly saw quite a bit of use, as not only did she play, but Axl did, as well; a side-effect of being raised by metalhead parents. It sounded mostly awful on the account of its poor upkeep and the lack of any amplifying equipment (and the fact that Axl couldn’t sing worth half the damn he could play), but there were some fonder memories associated with it all the same; perhaps more so than any other object in the room. Unfortunately, a couple of its old strings snapped one day and nobody was able to cobble together appropriate replacements with the local metals, so it sat in the corner gathering dust and cobwebs.
She frowned; it was hard to imagine parting with it after all this, especially considering it was one of her only remaining connections to the real world. However, the dryad had helped them so much - even if it was only the forest spirit’s mere presence giving some sense of peace and comfort - and Aura felt deeply guilty about denying her such a strange last wish, “Uh… yeah, sure. I mean… Not sure why you’d want it, it’s pretty trash, can’t even play it, but if you want it…” She could feel the insincerity of her words stabbing at her heart, but it was the best she could do.
“Don’t worry. I’ll see to it that it is well taken care of,” the dryad smiled, warm and bright, holding the instrument close, “Thank you for this.” She reached out, placing a hand lightly on Aura’s head, “You have my blessing. The jungle will welcome you so long as I keep watch.”
Aura was stunned at the contact, and could do nothing but gaze on as the dryad bowed deeply before turning and heading out the door. The spirit glanced back one last time, her expression melting away to one of faint regret before the door closed behind her, leaving a biting emptiness in the wake of her departure.
The only one who didn’t appear affected by it at all was the guide. However, even he didn’t ignore what it meant as he turned to the other two adventurers, “So, you really are serious about it.”  It wasn’t a question, but a firm statement. He didn’t even really have to make it, and the looks he got in return only reaffirmed his knowledge.
With a soft laugh the mysterious man stood up, also walking towards the door, “I guess I’ll go for a walk then… it’s a beautiful day,” he turned back as he opened the door, “Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.”
Whether he was simply acknowledging his own fate in his own way or implying something they didn’t want to think about was the least of the adventurers’ worries now. Axl nodded, putting on his helmet - this one concealing his face for the first time in a while. Aura stood up, waving her hand to call her buzzing allies to her. They both looked at one another, then at the trap door over the descent to that uncertain future.
It was time.
Taking the chain, they headed down. It was just like every trip before that, and they were hoping it would be their last as they reached the caverns, and then reached Hell itself. Ren stood there, waiting for them.
Though his condition was obviously getting worse every time their paths crossed, he looked more awful than they’d ever seen him, and neither of them could tell whether they felt sorry for him, or revulsed by his decision to let his infections get so bad despite claiming he was looking for his own cure. The way he moved implied a certain severe discomfort, if not outright pain, the cancerous bloating so overgrown that it could be seen under his armor below his neck, practically deforming the crafted bone. His oversized, infected eye had gotten so large that it was beginning to push its way into the center of his face, displacing what healthy flesh he had left. The keratinous growths on his cheeks jut forward, now more than ever resembling not only teeth, but the jagged, gnashing mandibles of the Corruption’s universal denizens.
Despite that, Axl approached, reaching out, his half-worried, half-upset expression covered by the mask, “Hey.”
Ren turned curiously, only to see Axl reach into his bag. Head down, the younger adventurer pulled out something the larger man didn’t expect; a small picture frame. Handing it over, Ren was surprised to see it contained a small painting of all three of them. In the picture, he was uninfected.
“I… had commissioned our painter to make three of these. Before you turned on us in the dungeon. It took a while to get them finished. I figured I’d still offer it…” His voice faltered a little, “I know we’re not really friends, but we wouldn’t be here without your help. I can’t just let myself forget that.”
Ren growled a bit, glaring at the picture. It seemed like such a simple thing, yet he couldn’t understand, “Why?”
“I’m not sure about you, but my ultimate goal is to get us home…” Axl continued to hold the photo out, though he turned it slightly so that he could see the image as well, “But from what I’ve learned, home for each of us is not the same place… or even the same time.” He huffed a bit, taking the picture in his other hand; holding it out that long with the additional weight of his armor was tiring, “This way, if we’re allowed to take anything with us, we have something to remember one another. At least, the better times.”
Ren’s expression was unreadable as he reached out slowly towards the painting… only to push it away. Axl looked genuinely hurt by the gesture through his body language alone, and the larger man looked away with a scowl, “I’m not into that kind of sentimentality.” He took a step back, scowl deepening, “Yes, I value your aid and the former, temporary friendship the three of us may have had, but…”
He reached into his bag, pulling out both his gun as well as a single, familiar, plain doll, “But if I can leave this world cured and intact, I would rather not remember any of this.”
He turned his back to them, facing the edge of the bridge, over lava. Without so much as a backwards glance, he simply asked, “Are you ready?”
The real answer was “No.” But in spite of their collective better judgement, both Axl and Aura nodded, saying “...Yes.” and “Uh-huh…” respectively. They readied their weapons as Ren held up his own and tossed the doll into the lake of fire.
Even knowing it was coming, none of the adventurers could quite comprehend what they were seeing as the massive form somehow materialized from nothing, advancing in all its threatening horror. Everything they’d learned would be required to save them now, from knowing to stay grounded, to keeping an eye out for those gnashing hungry maws and the larger mouths’ long, grasping tongues.
Though Ren had started in the front, taking shots at the wall before it arrived, he quickly found himself behind the others, his range allowing him to take shots at those large, slimy eyes while Axl cut down any of the detaching maws that got close. Aura’s own hornets and their improbable projectile stingers  aimed for the eyes as well as she unleashed swarms of smaller bees towards the wall, rasping away at its exposed organs. For a moment, it almost seemed like it would be easier than expected.
It wasn’t. They weren’t prepared for its many, many eyes to begin to fire lasers. The massive, blood-red leeches that the grotesque wall vomited in lieu of trying to grab them did not help matters any. Fortunately, the legendary sword gifted to Axl helped cut down any that got close while the other two continued their ranged assaults.
It hurt, that was for certain. But as the beams became more frantic and the wall’s cries became more disjointed, they knew that, somehow, they were winning. The flowing liquid flesh was not so endless as it seemed, and soon there was no more new flesh to bubble forward to replace what was being eaten away by the adventurers and their arsenals.
The roar shook the underworld as the massive crime against nature finally began to collapse, the already malleable flesh losing what little cohesion it had to begin with. Great globs of meat fell from it, splashing dangerously into the lava, as the rest of it peeled from the ceiling and sunk, slowly, into the burning lake. What few pieces of the great horror remained upon the bridge bubbled and sputtered, dissolving away and leaving behind scattered remnants of things that had been trapped within it for ages.
One of those objects caught Axl’s eye almost immediately and he rushed over, stopping to pick it up. It was a beautifully ornamented hammer, forged from a material that seemed less like metal and more like pristine white pearl, trimmed and inlaid with gold and bright rubies. It wasn’t a particularly large implement, but the energy it radiated was undeniable. Axl’s eyes lit up, “Th-this is it!” He shouted, holding it gingerly in both hands, feeling almost out of breath, “This is what I was talking about! Proof that-”
Aura didn’t pay much attention to the ramblings, instead taking notice of a strange, intricate assault rifle that appeared amongst the beast’s melting remains. More accurately, taking notice that Ren had not taken to it as it seemed he would have.
Glancing around, and wondering how many other artifacts trapped within that flesh prison were being plunged into the lava, she walked over to pick the gun up. However, just as she made her way over to Ren to offer the new weapon to him, the large man fell to a knee, a horrific choking noise coming from him as he hunched over, convulsing.
Aura nearly threw the gun down, “Wha- a-are you okay?!” She rushed over, wondering what would have gone wrong suddenly, especially considering how far they’d come. Was his infection only starting to affect him now?
She didn’t have time to consider the specifics. Once she was close enough, it became slowly and horrifyingly obvious that the large, mutated man was not choking.
He was laughing.
“It is done!” The large man bellowed in a warbling, unnatural tone as he stood up straight, causing Aura to leap back in alarm. Staring up at the ash ceiling, eye wide, Ren bared his inhuman teeth in an impossibly wide, manic grin, “We! Have! Done it!!”
Cackling, he held up his ice mirror just as the largest heap of the sinking wall exploded into lights. Great, swirling beams of pink, red, and purple emerged and encircled about one another, like electrons of some strange atom, before launching themselves upward, out from the hellish prison. The stream of purple soul energy curved for just a moment, engulfing Ren just as his mirror spirited him away, and Axl nearly fell over trying to dodge it as it barely missed him.
Horrified, Aura and Axl quickly pulled out their own mirrors to return to the surface, to see what new Hell they’d just wrought.
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astrofireworks · 8 years
Text
i raise u librarian!eunwoo 
so our resident nerd works in a library 
he’s the front librarian so he’s mostly in charge of administration and stuff at the front desk
meaning he has to deal with library patrons sometimes 
and that he also has to deal with his team 
i mean his team isn’t that bad, they’re mostly hella responsible 
namjoon works in the classics department and other than the fact that he sometimes knocks over stacks of books he’s a great right hand man
wonwoo works with the ya books and he’s a wonder at organising and snarking at namjoon
joshua works in the foreign language and he’s pretty quiet but so is eunwoo so they get along pretty well 
the children’s department, however, is a different story 
remember how his team is ~mostly~ responsible 
cue the children librarian 
hello kim myungjun
the noisiest bean eunwoo has ever met 
the worst thing is that myungjun’s intern eQUALLY NOISY AND IT DRIVES EUNWOO INSANE 
and by driving eunwoo insane he means that naturally all three of them best friends and eunwoo is in despair because he only wanted peace and quiet in his life but the universe decided to throw him mj and sanha and their sunshine smiles and their strange ways of worming themselves into everyone’s hearts and now he has to live with eternal screeching 
reference librarian leo constantly wants to murder them because they make sO MUCH NOISE but mj and sanha lock themselves in the children’s department and refuse to let anyone taller than sanha in because “if ur too tall u might scare the children!!!!” because they’re Actual Children, eunwoo swears 
he doesn’t fail to noticethe only person taller than sanha in this damn library is leo
when eunwoo whines about the feud going on namjoon just pats him on the shoulder and lopes off to join the self-help literature department librarian jin 
@ namjoon “thanks a lot hyung”
and so this is how eunwoo spends his days, juggling front desk duties and running interference between reference and children’s and shushing noisy library patrons
it’s a pretty normal job with a great team and at least it’s never boring
thanks a lot mj
like that time mj had to choose a book to read to the kids at Reading Time but couldn’t choose between two favourites and nearly broke down in tears 
but wonwoo just smacked him upside the head and handed him a third book 
crisis averted phew
until of course one day 
a short blonde man runs into the library and nearly doubles over panting and wheezing 
cue an alarmed eunwoo 
but it turns out there’s nothing wrONG he just needs like books like STAT 
eunwoo can do that 
and as jinjin rattles off a couple book names eunwoo searches them up and pages for mj 
why a grown-ass man is searching for so many children’s books with sUCH URGENCY eunwoo will probably never find out
but out comes mj and in they go to the children’s section 
and normally eunwoo turns back to his administrative duties 
but there’s still a shadow beside his administration desk 
that isn’t in a jinjin shape 
eunwoo looks up and blinks
and blinks again because sorry what is this man doing here
he’s dressed in all black and in a leather jacket and has the fiercest, grumpiest look on his face 
and is also holding a whole stack of children’s books
eunwoo blinks again 
what the hell is up with grown-ass men trying to find children’s books are they alright
this one is significantly less out of breath than the first man though so eunwoo just shrugs
i mean, he’s pretty cute
he accepts the books and library ID from the grumpy man and begins slowly checking them out, scanning each bar code and meticulously stamping the due date on the card at the back of the book
as he’s printing the receipt he peers at the man’s ID
‘moon bin’ it reads 
“so,,,, moon bin,,,,,” eunwoo starts carefully, 
“a big fan of children’s literature?”
and bin is startled and flushes red because??? there’s a reason why?????? he didn’t open his mouth???????? in the first place???????
and that reason is a dare by a lil shit currently sniggering outside the library 
jokes on you rocky because reason number 2 why bin doesn’t want to open his mouth is because he’s met literally The Most Beautiful man he has ever seen in his entire life 
it’s not as if he’s never been in the library before because like he hAs 
he lied he’s never been in this library before
just that he’s never seen this librarian before
in the softest blue sweater bin has ever seen with small sweater paws
and with the most adorable pair of thin metal-frame round glasses 
with the sweetest eye smile and the sweetest voice
bin thinks he might throw up
this man is beautiful and he’s staring too much 
“,,,,moon bin?”
“aH YES IT ME YES THAT’S ME YES” 
obvs he’s forgotten the question so eunwoo has to repeat it and bin is to embarrassed to reply right away
so he just stammers out a “yEah,,, my uh,,, friend,,,,,,,, yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, children’s literature yes”
and so eunwoo just shrugs because
the grumpy man is suddenly no longer like a grumpy cat when he’s embarrassed and?? his voice is kinda cute actually if eunwoo does say so himself
forget that he didn’t actually answer eunwoo’s question 
eunwoo doesn’t actually want to give this cute grumpy man back his books because it means he has to leave
but alas that blonde man is back with the noisy nuisance aka eunwoo’s best friend 
and sunshine boy mj is hitting it off with the blonde man and they’re whispering excitedly while giraffe sanha trails behind them like a lost puppy
eunwoo makes a mental note to remind mj sanha’s not his personal puppy and is in the library interning to acTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING 
and so he has to reluctantly hand bin’s books over 
as he scans jinjin’s books he overhears whispers between jinjin and mj 
mj: “ah so this is a dare? to see how many books you can borrow that start with your name??”
jinjin: “nah it just has to contain a word from my name?? and like we gotta see who has more books so i’m kinda lucky i got three words to work with, 박, 진 AND 우” 
eunwoo peers at the books in his stack
he’s right lmao all of jinjin’s books have all the words 박, 진 or 우
wait 
he peers at the check out history on his computer 
bin’s books all had 빈 or 문
oh
oH
mj: “well,, i hope u win, jinjin”
cue mj’s most blinding sunshine smile 
rip jinjin eunwoo’s so sorry he has to experience that smile 
mj only pulls it out when he’s trying to impress someone but it’s probably just blinding him
and jinjin looks appropriately dazed rip
he mutters a thank u and red-faced, takes the books from eunwoo and makes a bee-line for the door
and nearly crashes into the glass door because 1) he’s a klutz 2) i highly doubt he could see straight after that cute ass smile
and mj just sighs because “wow eunwoo wasn’t he adorable did you see his dimples i swear that was the cutest gu-”
“hyung lmao he lost”
“whAT”
“yeah his friend got like 2 more books”
“WHAT”
“yeah moon bin got like 10″
“W H A T”
helpful sanha: “we cleared the place of all the books with 박, 진 and 우 though”
“shit hyung please tell me you didn’t tear apart the children’s department”
“.,.,.,.,.”
“sanha,,,,,, please tell m-”
sanha: “i gotTA GO SUDDENLY”
“kim mYUNGJ U N CLEAN UP THE DEPARTMENT OR I SWEAR TO GOD”
rip mj 
he’s so lucky eunwoo loves him
namjoon just sniggers at him from the philosophy books because he’s a lil shit like that
eunwoo drops his head in his hands in despair
at least he got to meet a cute guy today though 
and so life goes on 
until the next day when a smol smol boy wearing a soft plaid shirt walks through the door 
eunwoo flashes a smile 
and then his eyes zero in on the books the boy is carrying
like half their children literature titles his library carries are in his arms
eunwoo narrows his eyes 
so this is the guy that made the dare 
rocky places his books on the counter and looks up at the librarian
woah
bin wasn’t lying when he came out of the library flushed red and stammering about an angel 
yeah this librarian is honestly one of the most handsome men he has ever met wow 
but said librarian is also giving him a death glare oops 
rip rocky
how can a greek statue look so menacing rocky isn’t quite sure 
he hurriedly produces a piece of paper from his pocket 
“ah,,,, so u met jinjin hyung and bin hyung,,,,”
eunwoo shifts the books from the counter to beside his computer
and doesn’t say a word 
“ahhh,,,,,, bin hyung also asked me to hand you this”
actually bin didn’t but rocky figures he doesn’t want to get on the librarian’s bad side i mean we all know what happens when u get on the bad side of an angel 
u die 
rocky doesn’t want to die so young
he scribbles down bin’s number on the piece of paper and hands it to a confused eunwoo before dashing out of the library
eunwoo slides his glasses further up his nose and peers at it
around the stack of books behind him namjoon and wonwoo also peer excitedly 
and eunwoo does that cute mouth-stretchy thing
you know the one i’m talking about the happy yawn laughing thing 
because he’s!! so!!!! excited!!!!!!!!!
a cute guy gave him his number!!!! 
i mean by proxy but still
outside rocky is endlessly relieved bc it looks like he can live another day 
until he remembers he gotta explain to bin why a random number will be texting him 
oops 
but when he tells bin this at dinner bin doesn’t react
which is kind of alarming
all bin does is freeze up and stop chewing and fall out of his chair 
which i guess is kind of alarming 
cue incomprehensible wailing through a mouthful of food
which i guess is more alarming 
rocky never expected that high a note come out of his hyung’s mouth especially not with that amount of food stuffed in his cheeks 
he lowkey wants to poke it to see how much is in there but jinjin gets there first
“bin ur mouth might explode”
“mouths don’t explode that easily” (through that mouthful of rice)
but then he starts wailing again because soft sweater paws round glasses eye smile angel has his number and might text him any time and his brain cANNOT HANDLE THAT
but by the time jinjin and him get bin off the floor and back onto his chair bin’s phone pings
because mj and sanha have gotten hold of the piece of paper rocky left eunwoo and have spent half the day endlessly into crafting The Perfect Message 
they even got jin and namjoon to vet it for them that’s how serious they are about setting eunwoo up 
and just to shut the terror twins up eunwoo agrees to send it because hell he doesn’t know if bin might reply anyway and asdjfhlkj he still lowkey can’t believe bin gave him his number
although he’s right in not believing it anyway bc it was rocky who did it but 
he sends it
cue more incomprehensible wailing from bin and him falling off his chair again with a mouth full of rice 
because when rocky picks up bin’s phone and reads the text all it says is 
“coffee tomorrow at 4? - librarian, cha eunwoo”
okay rocky admits he squealed a bit too
it’s okay rocky so did i
death by binu isn’t that bad a way to go i gUESS
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