#yep i am back on this
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☕ (bellamy in his strawhat verse maybe?)
Send me “ ☕ “ for my muse to drink tea uniquely flavored after your muse, and I’ll tell you what my muse tastes! ~ accepting
"Huh, how awfully bitter! So much lemon cannot be good neither for your stomach, nor for your heart! Hmmm, but wait, I take it back, actually! If you get a little used to it, a new flavor arrives. It's not quite sweet, it's mild, but it is soothing. Yes-yes, it's just at the right place here. How nicely it heals what the bitterness destroyed... Unusually enough, the smell off a worn off rusty spring actually compliments the drink well!"
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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tbh i have a running gag in my head about the mha heroes + late night talk shows, but all i can really muster rn is: dynamight and sabrina carpenter on snl.
#i want like#painful car karaoke with the top3 where best jeanist is critical of james corden’s outfit#hawks is the only one singing bc he’s a people pleaser#and they’ve shoveed endeavor into the back seat but he’s so big he hardly fits — and he sure as shit ain’t singing#i want post-kamino skinny might awkwardly laughing at thirst tweets fans have sent in about him and they’re printed on big notecards#i want deku dynamight and shoto with musical act BTS#literally i think we forget how FUN the celebrity side of the hero canon is bc this shit is so fucking ridiculous#god please give me cute Creati and Froppy and Uravity interviews on where drew barimore is doing that bit where she looks like she’s#BEGGING for a bump of coke at a party#(wendy williams voice) you know i heard that erasurehead is a real fiend in bed. yep. listen i am just tellin you what i’ve heard goes awn.#(also wendy williams voice @ dabi) the killer.
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not sso positive, not sso negative, but a secret third thing (adult w a job)
#new area is fun and funky i think u guys r just haters#i also think that the company has done a lot of shit lately im not keen on and am pissed at them for#i just think. maybe its not so serious all of the time. maybe we can log in and go “yay jousting!! how fun. these outfits r cute.”#and maybe. not to be shady. but maybe.... some of you guys.... need jobs or hobbies. bc its not this serious. i promise.#most of us are full ass adults playing a childrens horse mmo yanno?#and if its not fun for you.... uninstall. i uninstalled for almost a year and now im back and having fun again yanno? like idk#the way people are getting SO heated about this... get something more important to worry about idk man#sso#ssoblr#star stable online#is it mean to main tag this. yep. dont care though im right lol
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yes I drew the tictac again
#be more chill#the squip#squip#me doing art#hello bmc fandom#i am so sorry for neglecting you#</3#very fortunately i listened to the album again and now my fixation is kinda coming back#soooo#let's go#anyway#not a very fancy shading. i know. but#i was feeling lazy#sorry#...#yep
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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I love ur daily Alex a lot!!Could you do more Alex&Farah doodles plz🥺🥺💕💕Thanks!
[day 32] thank u so much and!! your wish is my command <3
#dailyak request#first request! lets go!#dailyak#cod mw3#call of duty#cod fanart#call of duty fanart#alex keller#alex echo 3 1#farah karim#farahalex#faralex#and yep i am back :)
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is being woken up by her pushing her strap into me from behind too much to ask?????
#eff yaps#UGHHHWHAHAH woooowza i woke up !!!! so wet!!!!!!!#she woke me up with a call and i fingered myself for her instead ;(#SO yeah there’s goin to be a lot of wlw stuff to come bc i am a w who l a w#feeling her fingers stroke down the curve of my back#over my ass and spreading me open for better access#teasing me with just the head of her cock before slowly forcing the rest in#telling me “good morning puppy” as i arch my back and groan sleepily#UHHHHJJJJWKWKOPPPPPP no this is not good for my brain I need to go back to sleep yes mhm yep SLEEP *fingers self again*
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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"what are you thinking about?" that time in march when forsblad picked each other for the which teammate would you want to cohost a podcast w question
and ekky was too shy to look at the camera when he professed his love for forsy for the millionth time and that being the reason for his choice meanwhile forsy had absolutely no qualms staring into that thing and going we can talk about fishing :D
#aaron ekblad#gustav forsling#florida panthers#welcome back to these bitches haunt my psyche#“forsling just cuz i love him” “ekky we would have a good talk about fishing” one of these things is not like the others#ekky looking down at the paper w the question not bothering to make eyecontact with catmin#as he skedaddles out of there after he says “cuz i love him” still haunts me actually#forsy smirking the more he thinks about it and gives a final pleased little smile as he goes yep definitely ekky#once again i have to state forsy bringing up fishing#because at that point ekky has already taken him for several sea fishing trips AND organised the sturgeon tagging trip#do you guys understand what i mean when i say they flirt through fishing do you get it#also forsy picking ekky for fishing AS IF THEY WONT SQUABBLE ABOUT WHETHER DEEPSEA OR LAKE IS BETTER#HE IS A MENACE#“i pick forsy because i love him that whats most important to me we can find things to talk about i cant imagine doing it with anyone else”#“ekky we can squabble about fishing i enjoy when we both know a topic deeply enough we can debate about it thats practically foreplay to me#famously! i am not enough of a scholar to dissect the intricacies of their relationship! but boy am i thinking about it!#the forsblad really is intricate
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#golden kamuy#ogata hyakunosuke#polls#smash or pass#yep here i am making a fuss about CONCEPTS of things#for days on end#then suddenly i'm posting the guy everyone wants to put in the microwave#h#HERE WE GO#POST IS POSTED#THERE'S NO GOING BACK NOW!!!!!!!!
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I did so many important things today I think I should get an award
#booked a driving test got my vaccines put in my passport checklist just ordered some chinese take away#AHHHH also I'm pissed off at the driving thing coz they said I can't do it in the town I wanted to?? Like something must of changed recentl#Or something because both my siblings did it there why can't I bitch it took so much restraint to hold myself back from bringing that up I#Was just like yep sure that's fine#Anyway sometimes I'm like am I really that austistic and I do something like that and am like hm yes I think I am starts crumbling to dust
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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halfway through my 20s, i’ve definitely picked up this pattern where i will every so often have a “baseball bat year” in which i realize i’ve stagnated and very suddenly and determinedly decide to change major parts of my life for the better, then i reap the rewards of that hard work for 2-3 years, and then it’s baseball bat year again because there’s always more and i want it all. it’s called baseball bat year bc i just eventually realize that i need to be bonked really hard with a baseball bat and get things moving again
#in 2022 i decided to lose weight and get a breast reduction and learn how to cook#which i did#i also wanted to get a better job#also did that#and fix my spending habits#did it#and get back to writing creatively#yep that too#and move into a better apartment#sitting in it rn#but about halfway through this year i realized hey! i am feeling bored and complacent!#(while still very proud)#i think im bisexual and i want to go to grad school!#wonder what 2026 will look like…
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26 may 2024—got my much wanted (((and needed))) pamper sesh (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚ im so happeh like yay!
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 hand spa x foot spa × hot stone massage × microdermabration and perfectio x face therapy
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 miss v, the one who attended to me, told me my hands are like a baby's bc theyre actually already soft prior to the hand spa lol
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 i supah dupah mega ovah missed doing this!
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 gosh tell me why did i stop doing this again???¿?? right, life happened—
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 felt like a princess—nawp, wait, scratch that hMpf i felt like a dyosa fairy queen thank you very much
#grabe im so doing this again gRrRRRrRRRrrrrrr#ang saya ko kasi im doing things for mahself again#which no one has stopped me naman like even moosey kept telling me that i could do everything i want naman#and he will support me naman like kahit saang dagat ko pa gustuhing pumunta lol#namention niya yun kasi lately na-open up ko na plan ko magfreedive#and he was like oo nga diba matagal mo na yan gusto gawin#and then i was like oo nga noh why am i stopping mahself ba from doing things like?¿¿?¿?¿¿?#eniwey ive been doing a lot of things talaga that i love lately hehe pati nga yung mga matagal ko na gusto itry#nagpainting lessons me!!!!! sa church namin!!!!! IM SO HAPPEH HUHUHUHU#been a while since i held a paint brush like last time was high school pa ko#would u believe me if i tell u i was our batch's associate head artist for our school mag and paper#yEp once upon a time i was THAT kind of artist#and then 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋 happened so i rlly lost touch doon sa creative aspect slash side ko na yun#like me being a writer is still with me pero yung one with the colors grabe nawala talaga kasi nagkaroom me ekis experience#so ayOrn we r going to hv another painting sesh soon!!!!! flowers naman ata hehehehehehehe#im so happeh kasi may mga ganitong activities sa church and i feel like im going back to my roots ganOrn#tapos nagstart na rin me practical driving classes ko sa car hehehe next is motorcycle maybe after this week#drivers license here i come!!!!!!!!!#tapos maybe freediving or ewan ko pa how abt sewing hehehehehhehe#gosh ang saya ko#may moments of lungkot pero dama ko rin yung gaan ykwim#naiiyak ako anUe bAaaaaaaaAAAaa#donut#cottoncandy#icecream#cookie#i did not check this for errors so excuse me if you ever see anything#skl ; 🦇 ba
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sometimes you have to full-on sob and weep over the (kinda) gay dad dice podcast.
and it'll be alright
#dndads ep 61#i am full of snot and tears and love for ron stampler#on a maybe lighter note not my ass seeing ron episode 1 and immediately going 'ah yep that's me'#BEFORE I FUCKING KNEW ANYTHINGGGGGG#dndads#dear lord#you ever look back at something and go 'ohhhh this fictional podcast is barely an exaggeration of the real things i went through. ha. ow'
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