#yeet the russians to space

[msviolacea]

why you should play honkai: star rail in 2024

Question and answer style, because it's what I like to do. It's long, y'all, and probably doesn't cover everything, but I've been typing and adding for like three hours so I'm yeeting it into the Tumblrverse now.

What is Honkai: Star Rail?

Honkai: Star Rail (from here either Star Rail or HSR) is an anime-style space fantasy RPG with turn-based combat and gacha mechanics for obtaining characters. It is the most recent (full) release from Hoyoverse (formerly Mihoyo), a Chinese video game company who is also responsible for Genshin Impact, Honkai Impact 3rd, and Tears of Themis, as well as a bunch of older games.

What platforms can I play it on?

PC and mobile are free, PS5 costs $10 to download for what I assume are Sony reasons. I most enjoy it on PC or PS5, but the mobile version is very easy to run, and a good choice for using up your daily stamina and doing the character leveling grind in a casual way.

What's the story about?

A character (known to most in-game as the Trailblazer, see both gendered versions below) wakes up on a space station with no memories and a mysterious destructive energy contained inside of them. They are taken in by a group of interstellar travelers known as the Nameless, who travel the universe in a space ship shaped like a giant old-school train, and visit various civilizations to observe, help, and learn about the strange energy trapped inside of them.

More below, including information about the gameplay, characters, and the important caveat about why particular people may not want to play the game.

What's the gameplay like?

The combat is turn-based, using a four-character party. The game gives you a good number of characters for free just by playing the game, which is more than good to get you through the story elements of the game. There is exploration as well, though it is instanced and far more limited than you might be used to if you play Hoyo's 2 ton gorilla, Genshin Impact. I personally like that it's more limited, though - I've gotten really overwhelmed by Genshin lately, and I like that HSR lets me finish things without feeling like I'll never be done.

(An in-game screenshot showing you what the gameplay looks like, visually.)

How's the writing?

Snappy and modern - a good combination of sincere and humorous, with a lot of pop culture and meme references all over the place. The English localization is top notch, in my opinion, but it's obviously written in Chinese, and you can choose to play in Chinese, Japanese, or Korean as well.

What about voice acting?

The main story is fully voice acted, by some top-notch talent overall. There's a good bit of crossover between Genshin and HSR casts, for what are probably obvious reasons. The side quests are mostly text only, with a few exceptions.

The Trailblazer - your player character - is also voiced to a smaller extent. The dialogue you choose during quests isn't voiced, but you'll hear your character say some random things while you run around and explore.

What kinds of storylines are there thus far?

There are ... three and a half? areas so far in the game. If it follows Genshin's formula, they'll add another new world/area annually.

Herta Space Station - the tutorial area, mostly, but there's also some ongoing story there about scientists of dubious ethics. It's also the area we go back to when they want to make a point about the larger universe, usually.

Belobog/Jarilo VI - Space Siberia. A planet that was previously cut off from the galaxy 600 years ago, covered in ice and snow due to ... science magic plot bullshit. Steampunky in technology, Russian in a lot of naming conventions, stories that revolve around people learning how to live together and rebuild their society.

The Xianzhou Luofu - Space China. One of several world-ships of the Xianzhou, who lost their original home planet to ... lore bullshit, it's complicated. Very technologically advanced, home to a race of humans that have been cursed with immortality, along with a race of fox people and a race of dragon-people. Stories revolve around the ethics of immortality, overpopulation, and the consequences of war.

Penacony - Space ... Disney World? IDK, it's very weird so far. Centuries ago, it was a corporate prison world, but has since been taken over by a religious organization and turned into the most exclusive resort in the universe. But the resort part is entirely contained in dreams. So it's less of a planet and more of a hotel where you lay in dream water and experience a theme park in your mind. Story themes are still developing, but they're real fucked up, y'all.

So what is the Hoyoverse anyway, other than the company?

Hoyo is very clear that all their games take place in the same multiverse. There are characters who appear in nearly every game they make, in different forms, sometimes with the same names, sometimes with different names. (See: Raiden Mei and Raiden Ei from HI3 and Genshin respectively, or Bronya Zaichek and Bronya Rand from HI3 and HSR.) Knowing about the other games may give you some interesting character things to chew on, but have no doubt - you do not need to play any of the other games in order to enjoy one particular one.

HSR is uniquely tied to Honkai Impact 3rd by virtue of the fact that at least one character is the actual exact same person in both games. (There will probably be at least two later, but ... don't mind that right now. Unless you want to go down the HI3 YouTube lore rabbit hole like I have. In which case hit me up.) Welt Yang, the Astral Express's Team Dad, crossed universes after getting his start in HI3. His past is SUPER interesting, but again, not necessary for your HSR enjoyment. For my folks with more Western fandom backgrounds, think of him this way - what if, instead of the bullshit at the end of Endgame, Steve Rogers realized there was another version of [insert your favorite character Steve loves here, romantic or platonic, I'm not getting involved in that drama here] that he could help, and he found a way to jump universes to do so. That's Welt's vibe, more or less. He's amazing. I love him.

Anyway. There's a lot to the Hoyo multiverse, a lot of philosophical stuff that revolves around order and chaos and how the universe balances it, mixed with some Mass Effect Reaper-style bullshit, but if it ever becomes relevant in HSR, be sure they'll explain everything we need in full. The story of HSR stands on its own.

... but if the idea of multiple versions of the same person and different universes gives you a headache, well, this is your warning, I guess?

(Welt's splash art has a lot of HI3 references, which are partly what made me go down the lore rabbit hole, but mostly I wanted a picture of him because he's hot. You're welcome.)

What other fannish-type media would you compare it to?

There are a couple of easy ones. Genshin Impact fans will find things very familiar here, for a wide variety of reasons - more on the larger Hoyoverse below. For those with more western media experience, it's got the swashbuckling adventure of Star Wars combined with Star Trek's "explore strange new worlds" ethos. I'm sure there are a bunch of animes and Chinese/Japanese video games it can be compared to, but I haven't been in that audience particularly, so I can't name any for you myself. I can say that some of it tickles the same parts of my brain as FFXIV - they're VERY DIFFERENT games, don't get me wrong, but there's a similar tone in the "wink wink" punny pop culture English localization sometimes that makes me happy.

Okay, you know everyone here is from fandom, right? You know what we really want to know.

This question is inspired by my nostalgia for the old crack_van community on LJ - I miss the "here's a brief overview of the actual canon and here's what you can find in terms of pairings/fic/etc" format. So, if you want to know if it's worth it to get into this game for fandom reasons, here's a bit of what you can expect.

Popular pairings, according to AO3, and a brief description:

The juggernaut, if the fandom has one: Blade/Dan Heng, which has multiple permutations due to immortality and rebirth and such. This one's for you if you like a lovers-to-enemies vibe, or like creating happy endings where there are none and never will be in canon. Two very attractive men who were once lovers (pretty much canonically, as much as a mainstream Chinese video game will probably get, thanks to some word choices made in the in-game descriptions), made a huge society-shaking Very Big Mistake, and ended up each paying the price in different ways. Several hundred years later, one is regrettably immortal and certifiably insane about it, one has been reborn into a mostly different person and wants nothing to do with his past self, and they just keep running into each other on what seems to be a fated collision course.

(Dan Heng and Blade fighting, as they do. A lot.)

An alternative to above: If you like the immortal attractive dudes vibe but aren't as much into the forever enemies vibe, there's a good amount of fic pairing both of them with Jing Yuan, who is a former friend who got left cleaning up their mess after their Very Big Mistake and now has been the leader of their society for hundreds of years and both misses them a lot and also does NOT want to deal with their mess again. But he'll happily manipulate them into coming home when he needs them.

Oh look, we have women too! And people pair them! Seriously, there are two different f/f ships in the top 10 on AO3, which is refreshing! One is Bronya and Seele, who are the wholesome choice, the sweet stoic leader of her people and the blunt fighter who loves her. The first full story arc of the game is really their story, and it's a lovely less fraught enemies-to-lovers vibe.

If you want your yuri a bit more toxic, or at least less wholesome and not at all canonical, perhaps Himeko and Kafka will be your thing? Himeko is the elegant engineer/navigator for the Astral Express, your Trailblazer's team mom, smart and classy and a gorgeous redhead, what's not to love? Meanwhile Kafka is the sociopathic leader of the Stellaron Hunters, a group of dubious morality who exist to manipulate things in order to bring about a supposedly pre-written future. They only have like one scene where they actually talk to each other, but hey, that's more than enough, right?

(Kafka and Himeko, in their one scene together. Fandom has worked with far less.)

The ridiculous boys: Gepard/Sampo is still going strong, bless. If you don't want any of the drama of the boys mentioned above, just some attractive dudes doing ridiculous things, or if you like "cop and criminal" type pairings, here are your guys. Gepard is the leader of the local guard, Sampo is an underground criminal with his fingers in almost every pie. Cue shenanigans. Sampo is also a member of a very mysterious organization of galactic tricksters and clearly has larger lore relevance somewhere, but hey, you don't have to deal with any of that. Just let him and Gepard do their Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd thing and all is good.

(The stuffy military dude and the Loki-ass motherfucker. What could go wrong?)

OCs are always love: There's always plenty of Trailblazer fic out there. Male Trailblazer (Caelus)/Dan Heng seems to be the most popular, but you can find Caelus or Stelle paired with pretty much anyone out there.

There's also PLENTY of characters and pairings that are under-utilized, and deserve an influx of new energy. As usual, of course.

So, you said there's a reason I shouldn't play it?

Yeah. As mentioned before, it is a gacha game. It's a very forgiving gacha game, to be sure, and it's entirely possible to play as a free-to-play player, you do not have to spend a single cent on this game. However, gacha games are inherently problematic in many ways. So my caveat is this - if you have financial impulse control problems, gambling issues, or really sharp FOMO problems, I don't recommend you getting started playing this game. If you're good at being financially disciplined and not spending outside your entertainment budget, whatever that may be, you'll be fine. But if you have any doubts, then I suggest looking up someone on YouTube and watching a Let's Play instead.

Anyway. If anyone wants to add to this post, reasons why you love the game, fannish recs, whatever, go for it! I miss crack_van, y'all, and want it back on Tumblr terms. Maybe I can wish it into existence starting with this post. We will see.

[felixcosm]

woe.begone (naturally) for the character ask game, and 🤝🔥🧨

🤝Character you relate to the most

Honestly, definitely Mike Walters. I think either Mikey or Emdubya, although I'm leaning towards Mikey because I've seen more of his emotional journey, MW is still relatively new.

There were definitely some moments in the show where I was like hey I feel exactly the same way! Especially his views on iterations, personhood and how he interacts with timelines that haven't happened anymore.

I'm also a gay introvert with identity issues who relies on other versions of myself, who speaks little Russian, is lonely aligned, a former teacher's pet and turns whiny when things get tough x)

(Although there are enough differences between us that I don't feel like he's a mirror or anything)

🔥Character you think is overrated

Ugh, Flinchite Samantha 🙄 Who does she think she is

(that is a joke, I don't actually think anyone is overrated. All of the characters are treated like they're important somehow or at the very least, they're entertaining. Any character we don't know much about is one I'm eager to learn about in future episodes)

🧨Character you love to hate

Tyyyy Betteridge. The fucking bastard. He makes my fucking blood boil (I love him) EVERY time I think 'okay I forgive him now because he's being gay or cute' he does something awful that makes me want to yeet him into space.

[therandomartmaker]

I posted 2,558 times in 2022

That's 2,558 more posts than 2021!

174 posts created (7%)

2,384 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-amtransexual

@yayee-prsp

@gentrychild

@elytrians

I tagged 608 of my posts in 2022

#randomartmaker rambles - 107 posts

#randomartmaker writing - 35 posts

#randomartmaker utterings - 32 posts

#randomartmaker ao3 - 21 posts

#randomartmaker art - 20 posts

#digital art - 17 posts

#orv - 17 posts

#my art - 15 posts

#short story - 15 posts

#tcf - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#it really sucks when you’re raised half-half but somehow it ends up tilting towards english and you’re the only one in your family like that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Yoichi explaining the story of OFA in fics is kind of funny to me. I personally believe in the “set around like 100-200 years in the future” gig for bnha, so whenever i think about yoichi i think abt him being memey

So his entire explanation of OFA would just be filled with memes in any scenario i imagine him in.

“So he yeeted me into a vault because he thought i was a poor little meow meow,”

“The quirk was essentially a strengthening quirk, even if wasn’t actually that and it was powerful. And because he fucking locked me in a vault, i decided i was going to use said quirk against him, because it be like that sometimes.”

“Sibling Relationships.” [wistful sigh]

“Second [sudden fake russian accent] shot him ze legs,”

“My brother once tried to brainwash me with telepathy, like a knockoff [activate gremlin mode] ‘it’s me boy, i’m the ps5, speaking to you inside your brain’, “

“I was so tempted to just steal his fucking kneecaps,”

Main point of this is that half of the explanation is just unintelligible to everyone.

Regardless, I don’t have good enough memory to remember enough easy mouldable/applicable memes and use them quickly, so here are the only ones i could think of.

If i used one incorrectly, stfu, i don’t have ingrained memory on this shit like some of you because i need to pass a mentally stable human being.

65 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#4

Latest artwork for y’all is some lazily shaded and coloured Yor Forger haha i haven’t watched spyxfamily

65 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

#3

So. Humans are Space Orcs/Deathworlders Idea, and one that I’m not quite sure has been done yet?

A planet that has been terraformed in such a way that it has perfect living conditions for most known species, and is used as storage for samples of most non-sentient life for studies.

It is, logically, classified as a death world, but due to the fact that it’s been terraformed that way and segregated to ensure perfect comfort for general types of beings (mammalian, avian, marine etc. and divided further) no one cares about that classification.

And then humans drop into whatever interplanetary/universal union group and are like “Oh! This planet seems cool. Can we go on it?” And almost all aliens immediately panic because this new species hasn’t been classified into what environments it can survive/needs for survival.

When the realisation that Humans survive on a genuine deathworld hits, they decide to just drop a group of them on the planet with the rules and regulations booklet and record what happens.

Human 1: Oooh. This is like a giant biome themepark!

Human 2: Bets that the Australians will bolt to the beaches?

H1: If I’m taking that bet, then you have to take the bet that none of scientists would study any of these biomes

H2: that’s a losing bet. That’s not fair.

Alien, witnessing an entire crew of human diving into the water from where the mountainous zone meets the marine zone with a cliff:

Alien, watching in horror as some humans run to the permafrost zone in nothing but summer clothing:

Alien, supervising the scientists as a large amount of equipment is used to study the non-sentient biodiversity in whatever section caught their interest:

The main focus of this post is meant to be the idea of the planet and not humans interacting with it but like,,, you can’t tell me there’d wouldn’t be an edition of an information booklet for to what species can go in what biomes dedicated to solely humans ending with “but there are exceptions, like some humans will attempt to peel their own skin off in extreme heat temperatures, so just place them on the central platform and let them roam and don’t forget your trackers.”

74 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

#2

“Kudo Shinichi, sir!” A reporter called out from the crowd, one of many. Shinichi didn’t know why but he started paying attention to them.

“Sir, is it true that you are dating Kuroba Kaito, rising magician?”

Now, Shinichi could just say no comment and move on, but he was tempted to have a little fun.

Kaito would love him for doing this anyway.

Shinchi pulled his closest Kaito Grin, shooting the man a thumbs up, absolutely shiteating. He bolted in the other direction.

It would be hours later that Kaito finds out about the broadcasting of their relationship, and the ensuing riot that occured.

His mother found him rolling on the floor cackling like a witch gone mad.

116 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“Ok. I’m calling you guys 1864th, Plotter and 999th, because the other options; Mine, Not mine and Wish it was mine, are not viable.” - Kim Dokja at some point

236 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[heta-fics]

April 12, 1961

April 12, 1961 

by RedHatMeg 

An illustration of old Polish/Finnish joke. Poland is fishing, when suddenly Finland comes to him to tell about something astonishing.

Hetalia - Axis Powers, K+, English, Humor, words: 178, favs: 22, follows: 3, Mar 11, 2010, Finland, Poland

[good-night-space-kid]

I just bought three pins from this etsy shop that sells ussr stuff do guess who's gonna have to justify a lenin pin to their republican father

[lastlymatt]

Does Anthony Horowitz have some kind of fear of small tunnels (or getting stuck in small spaces in general) and drowning? These things show up a bit too often in the Alex Rider books

Off the top of my head (spoilers for most of the books)

The submerged mine in Stormbreaker

The tiny tunnel in the RTI chapter

The danger of diving alone in Skeleton Key

The flooding cell and Alex's escape through another tiny tunnel in Scorpia

Getting locked up in an underwater shipwreck in Ark Angel

That tiny capsule he's stuck in while being yeeted into space

The time he got bricks tied to his feet and was thrown in the ocean and he was just... stuck there on the bottom for a while

Russian Roulette had a bunch with the tunnel Yasha and Leo use to escape the soldiers, the window Yasha almost got stuck in, and Sharkovsky threatening to drown him

Feel free to add because I'm sure I've forgotten several

[ransprang]

Hiya! This is my first time requesting a matchup from any blog! I'd love a romantic match up for Fullmetal Alchemist and OHSHC. I'm pan and Female.

I'm a Scorpio, but I'm not really big on star signs, though sometimes when i had to go through papers at my old job I'd look in the Horoscope section just to see if there were any joke ones.

I consider myself an ambivert. I'm a bit shy at first and I get shaky and quiet when ordering food. But once I'm friends with someone I tend to match their energy. I also start to cuss a lot when I feel comfortable around someone!

I love to cook and bake, a lot, there's no recipe I won't try! Literally just before sending this I made Russian tea cookies! Tomorrow imma try my hand at Baklava. I also love to draw, paint and read.

I'm currently in college and taking classes in humanities, I really like to learn about the history behind the arts. It's honestly very interesting to see how art, in all forms, changes throughout time. I'm also a huge science nerd, I love space, paleontology, and biology of all kids really. I also really enjoy rock climbing and hiking, I love nature and being outdoors in general.

(I highly recommend going to South Dakota at some point if you enjoy hiking and rocklimbing, the rocky mountains are gorgeous. The mica in the ground makes the dirt sparkle lol)

I don't really have a specific 'type' but a sense of humor is a must. I'm good with PDA. I don't want to have kids in the future, unless adopted or through a surrogate.

thanks for your request anon. Your match up is....

ADMIN SAN

just kidding!! she thinks you're super cool and wants to be eat Russian tea cookies with you. Anyways, we hope you like your actual matches!!

(fmab & ohshc match ups are under the cut)

Your FMAB match up is.................

EDWARD ELRIC

SFW

He would fully roast those horoscopes with you. Nothing gives him more joy than roasting astrology sluts when mercury is going into retrograde  

You both have science is common so you could have cute library dates where y’all devour anything that piques your interest.

He’s pretty outdoorsy too since he s got to keep his body fit, especially since he s missing a few limbs here and there. He also yeets out of Resembool any chance he gets so y’all would have tons of fun travelling together

You both could also have fun camping, especially since he’ll be full of camping skills after his lil training arc as a kid! You guys would enjoy living intimately with nature, admiring it’s beauty, and of course eating ants while talking about how all is one and one is all

Ed has a decent sense of humor and you guys would have inside jokes and love roasting each other. He’s funny and knows how to have fun in his own way. Although you might wanna steer clear of the short jokes~

Ed exhibits classic fatherless behavior so in line with that, he wouldn’t want kids either (ignoring the anime)! especially after his rocky childhood

You and Ed would have wonderful cussing matches since neither of you are shy about your linguistic abilities and are happy to flaunt them ;)

PDA might be a bit hard on him, especially at first, and he would blush like a little bitch. But eventually he would get used to it and enjoy occasionally putting his cold metallic arm around you  <3

Your OHSHC match up is................

Haruhi Fujioka

SFW

You guys would meet by chance at the library, since none of the rich kids would use it too often (they prefer the library at home) and start talking over the different books. Haruhi had already seen your name on the books she checks out so it just made sense to approach you.

You guys would start dating soon enough and then you would begin requesting her at the host club too, to make sure no one else gets her for too long. You could bring her cookies and whatever else you make, and she would love them!

She would help you with your social anxiety too, and be your biggest cheerleader whenever you overcome your fears. In turn, you hold her close on stormy nights <3

She would be super impressed with all the variety of cool things you know and you guys would have a great time learning from each other. Her being a law nerd and you with your science interests!

Although Haruhi is not the most physically active she would go with you on treks if you nagged her enough. It’s good to get some physical exercise anyway! But be prepared for the host club boys following you on helicopters to make sure you both manage alright out in the wilderness

In terms of sense of humor she’s managed to develop some version of a twisted, dry wit thanks to her trauma with the ouran boys even though she mostly plays the straight man. Regardless it’s a beautiful lesbian relationship so that means neither of you have to be the straight man :)  

Your adopted kids,

admins san & sar

[disco-tea]

1x04 background details:

The opening flashback scene places Luther’s chemical accident in 2012 (7 years from 2019) which creates a plot hole because in 1x03 the opening shows that Vanya wrote her book in 2014 (5 years from 2019) and in the sequence you can clearly see a non-mutated Luther doing push-ups and reading it in his room at the academy.

There’s a lot of dartboards in the house. There’s one in the kitchen. There’s one in Diego’s room (1x03) and there’s one in Five’s room (1x05)

Vanya says Helen had yet to be unseated from first chair for 5 years and Leonard jokingly not jokingly says “you want me to try?”

Diego says Five’s title “The Boy” when he’s talking to Eudora on the porch.

We get a good look at Five’s room in this episode.

The Russian ghost that Klaus is seeing in Hazel and Cha Cha’s room (Zoya Popova) keeps repeating “хочу жить” which means “I want to live.”

Diego can pick car door locks (he picked the lock on Five’s stolen van) which makes him yeeting himself through Leonard’s window even funnier.

Five literally went and got Vanya’s book from the library and kept it in the bag with Delores and just carries it around to write notes in. He’s still doing it in 1x05

There is a sign outside the Icarus Theater that is just lorem ipsum.

Five went to the Argyle Public Library to get drunk because in 1x05 you can see that that was where he and Dolores lived in the apocalypse.

Drunk Five: that’s what you do when the world you love goes bye bye. Poof it’s gone.

Diego asks what Hazel and Cha Cha want (Five dead) and Five smiles and almost laughs about it.

THERE IS A GREEN MIRROR IN DIEGOS PLACE AT THE GYM THAT IS EITHER THE SAME GREEN MIRROR OR IDENTICAL TO THE ONE IN HIS ROOM AT THE ACADEMY. We get a good look at the gym one here and in 1x02 and a look at the academy one in 1x03 flashback, 1x05 present, 1x06 present, and 1x10 flashback/present.

When Klaus successfully turns Hazel and Cha Cha against each other, Ben high-fives one of the other ghosts in the background. 

Mensch is a Yiddish phrase that means “good person” or “stand-up guy”

Diego lost Grace and Eudora in the space of 24 hours

[awolfnamedluna]

Pin the pin on the country! Aka your OCs want to take a vacation but don’t know where to go, so they play some sort of blindfold dartboard game with a giant world map. Who is most likely to hit a continent, who is most likely to hit an ocean, who is going to map the entirely, and who wouldn’t throw far enough to even hit the wall?

I didn't see this ask. sneaky! (I just don't understand the 'map the entirely' thing (I read it as map the entirety))

Brooke would definitely just hit the middle of nowhere in in ocean

Ruby might hit a continent but I feel like she would hit a shoreline more than anything. or a random island.

Sam definitely misses the whole thing entirely. Sam I know you are throwing a drat blindfolded but you won't hit anyone! They are all a safe distance away!

Scott would hit a continent. Definitely somewhere in Europe like in France or Germany.

Olli somehow manages to hit Antarctica at the top of the map. GG Olli

Erica would aim for a Russian coastline (she loves diving so much she would die if she can't be in water within 2 days) since she always wanted to explore there but she hits New Zealand. Then a debate ensues about weather she hit the beach of the land itself. Erica is just happy to be going somewhere.

Luna well she's in space rn so she can't really participate in that. She CAN play Space Darts tho! It's a really fun game the astronauts came up with!

If she was on earth tho she would straight up just spin around like 5 times for a totally random shot! Scott will align her perfectly so that nobody gets hurt. She straight up yeets the dart and hit the UK smack in the middle!

[aureolinsic]

SCM Gods in College HC (Wishes pt.2)

Link to Punishments pt. 1,2

who gave me the power to put these guys in a college setting this is a mistake-

4. Huedhaut

Rude Bitch Sarcastic Genius

Homoflexible

is a Classical Literature and History dual honour student

cool, calm and collected

unless he’s trying to reread Jane Eyre in the library in peace and some bitchass thinks it’s ok to disturb hi-

-ok maybe not so calm at times

this man is the undisputed 👑 KING 👑 of roasts, insults and sarcasm. Chat shit about him and he’ll end your life in haiku form, asswipe

he really got in on a full paid academic scholarship. like, am I even surprised?

he has 200+iq. Einstein is quaking.

He was considering studying Mathematics but he decided he didn’t hate his life that much and chose Literature instead

he often spends all of his money on rare editions of novels (Brontë is his favourite atm)

so he works at a café which doubles up as a small library about 20 minutes from the main campus in order to support his addiction

he likes it there because it’s rarely too busy and is very quiet

He refuses to tell any of the guys where he works in fear that they’ll ruin the one safe space he has left

when he’s not spending time at his second home, he’s usually at the dorms taking care of Aigo with Lou and Karno

ironic, because he’s the type of guy to forget to eat lunch and dinner because he was studying Sonnet 18 for the 13th time

He’s been homosexual for most of his life, but he recently met this girl called Clotho and he may or may not be a little curious about life on the other side 👀

5. Tauxolouve

The Sexy, Suave Playboy

Bisexual

ok, so I said Leon was gorgeous, but this man is dripping with sex. Quite literally sometimes

was once scouted to be a model but politely declined

Majors in Fine Art, minors in French

despite being in college he’s mature and smooth as fuck. He could talk you into bed with that deep voice of his and you wouldn’t even know what hit you

look up the word ‘suave’ in the dictionary and it’ll just be a picture of his face. I dare you

he rides this beautiful Harley Davidson everywhere and girls can’t help but fawn over how goddamn cool this guy is like wtf

his type is short and cute, girls or boys. He likes to pamper his partner. (sounds suspiciously like Aigo hmm)

Naturally he’s the biggest player on campus, he’ll date someone for a couple weeks max before moving onto the next one

people basically fall over themselves just to spend a night with him. like I’m pretty sure his last hook up was about to throw money at him just so he would fuck her

His foolproof method to land a partner is to bust out some French phrases. Always hook, line and fucking sinker

the amount of times that people have asked him to ‘paint them like his French girls’ is uncanny

he is an incredible artist tho

however, no matter how smooth and suave he is to the public, only the other 11 know how messy and uncoordinated he actually is

like sometimes he has to get Karno to help him tie the laces on his trainers after fiddling with them for 10 minutes

never ask him to play a sport like tennis, either. he’ll end up yeeting his racket at u by mistake

When he’s not busy seducing the public or being adorably clumsy, he’s usually taking care of Aigo

He’s the one who wakes him up for class and carries him to bed when he falls asleep at his computer

He couldn’t tell you why he likes taking care of him if you asked, tho

maybe because he wants that DIC-

6. Aigonorus

The Social Recluse

Homosexual

this man was once found sleeping in a fountain

He’s a true night owl 🦉

any time before 3pm is seen as early morning to him

majors in Animation

you know that one kid in high school who’s always asleep in class but somehow aces their tests?

yeah that’s Aigo

he has his own designated spot at the back corner of the lecture room where he takes his naps

sis really leaves his pillow and blanket there sometimes bc he knows he’ll be back

the lecturers really want to say something but he’s at the top of the class so they can’t say shit

if he’s not in class then he’s at home sleeping. sis doesn’t care about his social life

even tho he’s gay, girls still fawn over how adorable he is

thinks that coffee is for pussies

the others once dragged him to a gay nightclub for his 20th birthday

he was asked out by a guy in said club and his response was ‘I’m gay’

‘No shit dude, we all are?’

‘....oh yeah. oops-‘ and blacked out on the poor stranger

Teo may or may not have spiked his White Russian with more vodka than necessary

finds himself as the subject of Lou’s care on multiple occasions

like sometimes he’ll wake up to find a blanket around him and 3 goat plushies in his arms

he can’t help but smile and makes a reminder to thank Lou when he sees him next ✨

during the short time he is awake, he’s probably the one that he talks to most

he listens quietly as Lou recounts his disaster dates but he doesn’t notices that his eyes always drift to his lips

one time they were sat on the couch and Lou looked a bit troubled, so Aigo just enveloped him in a bear hug and made them lie down together

Lou was shocked but he wasn’t complaining... both of them fell asleep all curled up around each other

best believe that the other guys took many, many photos to commemorate such a moment

lowkey we stan LouxAigo 💖

[i-am-parsec]

                                                                                                              11/02/2020

Hey, so...I had a bit of a crisis a couple days ago and now I’m here, writing again. I think I can still picture your smug look whenever I’d admit I was “wrong”, even if my memory is very unreliable these days, I can still see it and I know for a fact that’s the look you’re giving me right now. You little shit.

Um, they are probably not gonna like reading that. They don’t like it when I “pretend I can actually communicate with my missing, most likely already dead ex husband”. Weird, right? Like I don’t see how that would disturb them, ha.

I suppose I now should explain to you who “they” are. I’m talking about my doctors, Dr. Richard Willson and Dr. Alexandra Freias, who, little fun fact, my sister hired solely on the basis of her being 1. A woman and 2. Latina. I guess she thought I’d “bond” better with someone who looked more like, but the funny bit is that Dr. Freias’ mother is Russian and she looks like a photocopy of her mother. What I’m trying is that, not only was my sister’s idea dumb, she also did a terrible job at executing it because my doctor looks white as hell. She is nice, though, and I’m grateful about that. And no, Dr. Freias, I am not writing that just so you’ll forgive me for destroying your brand new phone yesterday but yes, I am very sorry about that, or at least as sorry as I can be these days and I promise my dumb sister will replace it as soon as possible.

I’m gonna have to get used to the idea of these letters having a bigger audience than before. In the sake of my little agreement with my lovely health professionals, I’ll be open and honest and admit...I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable to share this, my only safe space, with people who are basically strangers to me, but I am aware this decision was taken for the sake of everyone's peace of mind. When I’m writing, I’m focused, more relaxed, less prone to spiral down after Dr. Willson gives me a mocking look and sighs at the mention of your name, Chase, so this is a good thing: I get to talk to you and my doctors get a bit of insight on what’s going on inside my mind without me losing my shit and breaking everything around me, something they claim to desperately need.

I am a woman of my word, so I will continue this little daily exercise if that is what everyone thinks is best for me, even if I can’t help but laugh at the idea that this might give them any kind of extra data about me or you or anything related to this mess our lives have been for the past couple of years. I’ve already told them everything, from the very beginning. They refuse to listen, I refuse to give in and spew the nonsense they are trying to feed me instead of the truth I already know, then we all get frustrated and eventually...we start the cycle again. Circles, we are just going on and on in these fucking circles and it does annoy me, but I guess I have accepted it to a certain degree - I’m stuck. This is my life now, an eternal retelling of the hell I’m trapped into, while being trapped within said hell. 

I am lost here, Chase, lost and blind. But I keep moving, even if I know how it is all going to end, I still walk. I walk towards you, mi amor. You are my North, my compass in a world without poles, paths or direction. Ever since we were kids I’ve been doing that. You gave me purpose in a pointless world, a home in a deserted land, a glimmer of Hope among absolute darkness...so I’ll do my part, I’ll take my medicine, I’ll go to my appointments, I’ll write my letters. I’ll be good, I swear, for you, for the kids, for my sister - who bends over and backwards for me, even if I can’t seem to forgive her-, hell, even for my doctors, who refuse to actually listen to me but also refuse to give up.

Oh, before I go, in case you were wondering why I had the mental breakdown: I was telling the doctors about our wedding and it hit me that it was the 31st. I got quiet for a second, a bit teary and informed them that that day would have been our ten year anniversary. I laughed when Dr. Freias pointed out that we got married on Halloween and told her it was on purpose, that you love this holiday so much that you begged me for months to let you proclaim your undying love for me in front of our few friends, both of us being in full costume in our tiny backyard.

That’s when it all went sideways. “Undying love”. Dr. Willson just had to remind me with a smirk that we are divorced. I would like to explain in more detail what happened after that but truth be told, I don’t know. Last thing I remember was staring at him, my whole body shaking and then, dropping under water. It's a familiar sensation by now, but it never gets less disturbing or less violating. When I was back in control of my body, the room was a mess, I had three men holding me down and Dr. Willson’s forehead was bleeding.

I do not forgive him for the unnecessary remark about my civil status but I do regret, greatly, ever hurting him and I appreciate him not quitting. I don’t know why he wouldn't, I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with a new smug asshole who thinks they have the right pill and therapy combination to fix my unfixable brain. At this point in my life, I will always rather stick with the devil I know than the devil I don’t, and besides, Richard is no devil. I should know.

It’s late now, almost 8, so I’ll send this to Dr. Freias and be on my way to bed. See you there, my love.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Link to all the chapters in chronological order, here. Link to the last chapter, if you can even call it that, here.

Well. Here’s the thing. I am too broke for therapy and too uninspired to write anything original that could probably be more nurturing to my soul than a fanfic that I started 2 years ago...so I’m here, back to my bullshit. And also, Sean is finally dropping some new crispy fresh ego content so I guess...I’m doing this. I’ll be posting daily, the quality will be shit, there might be no actual progress to the plot and it is going to be mainly me just using Stacy to vent. I have little to nothing going on in my life right now, and I vaguely remember I used to get joy from writing so in order to get even the slightest bit of serotonin, I set myself the goal of writing everyday, no word minimum or special prompt in mind, I’m just going to write, and if it’s good, great and if nobody reads, fine. I’m just trying to get back whatever pieces of myself I can find, which I think is a feeling this character can very much relate to. That might be why I’m returning to her.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I was very invested in her before I fell in love and then I was so engrossed in my relationship that I completely forgot about her and then I had my heart broken in a million tiny pieces, losing any kind of sense of self or purpose in life and now, almost six months after my first real breakup, I’m trying to rebuild myself and I secretly hope that going back to Stacy, a character that was very dear to me, I can find whatever it is that I’m looking for. Maybe, but who’s to say?

Anyway, if you read all of that bullshit (and I mean the whole post, not just my after-chapter ranting), I feel like I owe you some kind of reimbursement for emotional damages. Sadly, I’m poor, so all I can offer you are memes. You can slide on my DMs for your payment of memes. Do not feel the need to ask me how I’m doing, I am doing Fine...in the sense of I will not be yeeting myself from a rooftop any time soon, no matter how sad I might sound, I’m just a whiny bitch using writing as a coping mechanism. I’m okay, like not really, super mega hyper ok but I’m ok. If you’re concerned, I appreciate you but don’t be. I’m writing to deal with my feelings, that’s like, healthy, right? So yeah, we good. 

see u tomorrow

❤️Tag list❤️: @amyxmiaplay @beckofthewoods @closedworldofmathiel @darktrash-drash @fanfictionrecommendations-com @flyingfishflopsthings @fruitycasket @hiimizzyxoxo @hishex @scarlet-mangata @mcomegalletas @mijako98 @mysterious-cupcake-ninja @mysticalanimallover @novasingalaxies @plutoandpolaris @probablyghosting @randomartdudette @saltyweirdbi @scarlet--raven @septicuniverse @skyewardlight @thevampireauthoress @youllnevertaketheskyfromme @rats-this-username-is-taken

[shibalen]

hi! sorry for sending in 4 asks last time! here’s take 2: can i rq an ohshc & mha matchup? i’m she/her. i prefer males, please! i’m around 4'10", shoulder length black hair & dark brown eyes. personality-wise, i’m not very expressive & seem apathetic unless i’m close to someone. i can act really childish & immature with people i’m close to, & i love teasing/pulling pranks on my friends. i’m a very messy person + i swear a lot. i like horror, psychological thrillers & action comedies. ♡ part 1!

random information; i’m a cancer. intj-t/intp-t. kind of changes. 3w4. ravenclaw + slytherin. i also really like spicy food- i dislike crowds & parties. i’m a very competitive person as well. i can be quite the sadist asdfghjk- i like cats too :,) i can play the piano & i have basic knowledge of a few other instruments. i like to draw, sing & sometimes write. i’m bad at comforting people- i give sorta good advice, but i always sound harsh. + i’m a night owl- i hate waking up in the morning. ♡ 2!

forgot to add: i’d like a romantic matchup please! i have a dog, but i prefer cats more. i can speak filipino, english, basic japanese & a teensy bit of swedish. i like indoor dates, but i also like dates in public aquariums & zoos! i’m also interested in things science-related, mostly biology, chemistry or anything space-related. i think that’s it. thanks in advance!! ♡ 3!

♡︎ matchup for @cherrycolaxo

howdy! that's okay, i understand the length can easily slip! i'm sorry your matchup took me almost two months to get to—hopefully it is worth the wait |ω･`)

|| ohshc: i match you with . . .

umehito nekozawa

• it was the matching first impressions vs reality that influenced me the most to put you together !! you both appear intimidating at first but in truth you're different and a lot more than what people make of you.

• i also think you can be a positive influence on Nekozawa. he is not good with people but your free-spirited nature encourages him to try a bit harder ♡︎

• he was looking for members for the black magic club when you first met. he asked you to join, expecting to be let down again, but then you agreed!

• instead of finding him creepy you thought he was an interesting character and that the club could be fun. plus, the Beelzenef puppet was cute; you got your own（ΦωΦ）

• through club activities you got to know each other and grew close. Nekozawa was scared to take the subject elsewhere than black magic at first, but soon learnt you share your love for cats and horror, and dislike for crowds.

• he felt like someone finally understood him outside his family and liked him despite his strange ways.

• likes to talk about your interests as well as the languages you speak. though into the supernatural, Nekozawa probably educated himself on science so he would know how seperate the two. now he's glad it's come in handy again.

• was admittedly taken off-guard by your change of character. you began teasing him playfully and pulling harmless pranks on him, and boy was just extremely confused????

• until he understood that's how you show you think of him as someone close. he cried.

• with you his days became more lively, and he learnt to enjoy himself. finds it hardcore that you can be a bit sadistic. a good trait for cursing people!

• once taught you russian to scare Tamaki who was convinced you were putting a voodoo spell on him.

• "mommy, there's two of them now!!!"

• you can't tell me wasn't crushing on you for months before he finally tried to do something about it. his dark soul could not handle the fluffy and fuzzy feelings consuming his being.

• proceeded to make the mistake of asking the host club for help and utterly embarrassed himself when trying to confess to you. it was chaos.

• you had to chase him down for two weeks before he agreed to show his face to you again.

• the rest is history. welcome to the dark side (ฅº￦ºฅ)

• your dates usually take place indoors because you both prefer it that way. despite his photophobia, Nekozawa occasionally manages to overcome his extreme goth levels to visit the aquarium with you.

• night dwellers™

• you skip school parties to practice black magic and tell stories in the dark, candle-lit club room. most students just assume you're in a cult now.

• the best person to share your drawings and writing with. he gets excited about everything you're willing to show him and actually gives great feedback, especially if it's magic or horror related.

• writes you dark and romantic poems. leaves them for you to find sometimes with a black rose next to the piece of paper ♥︎

• also says i love you by telling you to stay safe whenever you go outside and he can't come with you.

• you have to insinuate anything beyond hand-holding for a while though, because as much as Nekozawa wants to show you physical affection, he's too shy.

• you stop doing it though eventually, just to tease him, so you're surprised when he awkwardly nuzzles Beelzenef against your cheek.

• he got paranoid and thought you lost interest in him to be with the host club

• just kiss the puppet back and he's happy for the next three days. when embarrassed or shy he'll also use the puppet to convey his emotions. you've come to be a pro at reading puppet expressions.

• romantically your relationship advances slow and steady. it's very stong, built from lots of memories, trust and mutual understanding.

• tbh he doesn't need the sun when he's got you to brighten up his life ♥︎

runner up: Hikaru Hitachiin

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

|| bnha: i match you with . . .

denki kaminari

• your personalities fit together like chocolate and vanilla ice-cream. you add the richness and denki the sweetness to the taste — in result your combination has the best flavor!

• the moment Denki first laid eyes on you he thought you were supe cute, so naturally his mind went 'a person who looks like she doesn't want to be talked to? *cracks knuckles* imma 'bout the change that.'

• your apathetic demeanor didn't throw him off his game, no sir. he just kept talking, flirting and hanging around you until you warmed up to him.

• quest accomplished :D

• i mean, he thought it was attractive how chill you were in the beginning, but uncovering that childish, prankster side of you was like finding a real gem ♡︎

• you can be chaotic together now! loves that you're not afraid to curse. so badass.

• developing feelings for you was an entirely different story, however. they came so naturally as you hung out that when Mina brought it up Denki just short-circuited.

• "You and y/n hang out a lot right?"

• "Yeah, we're super close!"

• "So you like her?"

• "Of course!"

• "Are you finally gonna ask her on a date then?"

• cue surprised pikachu face

• needless to say, he asked you on that date right away the next weekend. you went to the zoo, and he did a bunch of research beforehand to impress you.

• was still shooketh that he only just realised his feelings for you so all his attemps to be smooth were yeeted out the window.

• you still thought it was sweet how genuinely hard he tried to make your day enjoyable so thanked him with a kiss on the cheek.

• boy almost lost his final braincell from the shock and happiness.

• a very doting boyfriend! the type to be at your door with your favourite snacks at 2am if you text him you had a bad day.

• you don't even have to say anything because as your best friend/boyfriend he knows how you act when under the weather.

• even if you're just fine Denki is always down to clown with you. night owls as you are, midnight adventures to. mcdonalds and watching action comedies til the sun comes up are common (even on school nights, especially on school nights)

• 10/10 will do the 'i'm just stetching and yawning oops my arm is around your shoulder now haha'

• he's a bit scared of thrillers and horror though. please cuddle this bby he likes it very much when he has an excuse to be so close to you.

• when you walk together you hold hands. he doesn't want you to disappear or feel uncomfortable in the crowd. gets an ego boost cause he feels like he's protecting you. also, holding your hand is just really . . . nice.

• listens to you play the piano and sing all the time (you play so well and your voice is so pretty?? how??), other times you jam out together and you've got yourselves a chill date.

• he finds it so cool that you're into so many science-related subjects :0 he may not know much about them himself but he's proud that you do.

• will brag to anyone and everyone about how smart you, his girlfriend, are.

• matching phone cases, matching t-shirts, matching outfits, just end me why you gotta be so wholesome💀

• your dog loves him, so you take lots of walks together in the park. watching those two play is the sweetest!

• prank wars everywhere anytime! it's a subtle and continuous thing between you two, always competing who comes up with the best prank.

• don't worry about being a bit sadistic or harsh with your advice. if Bakugo's words don't bother him then neither will yours. he thinks you're much nicer than him, plus your advice is better.

• on that note, welcome to the bakusquadヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

• as much as he likes it when you get along with his friends and hang out with them, Denki doesn't forget the importance of quality time. he will always have time for you ♡︎

runner up: Tokoyami Fumikage

thank you for requesting, i hope you enjoyed the read!! any feedback you might have is welcome. also, remember to drink water ♡︎

[sebuttstianstan]

re: the alternate vormir scene, not only are they doubling the fuck down on the subtextual implications that ‘Natasha does not have a heteronormative nuclear family and therefore is less valuable than Clint’, they explicitly pose this as her reason to jump. She has “nothing to lose”. A single woman + no spouse + no kids = “nothing”. I am raging. One scene later they call the Avengers her family, which is a stretch, but certain members of the Avengers sure as hell were her family (Sam! Wanda! Steve! Clint!) and that was certainly within reach for her had Clint decided to yeet himself off the cliff instead.

Beyond that, the scene is just so fucking shit? I can’t believe they not only wrote this, but they rehearsed it, filmed it, and then paid for expensive CGI? We were so close to getting this shoddy scene. Natasha is half-dead when she uses the last shreds of strength she has to crumple over Vormir’s edge. She is not even given the barest of agency to sacrifice herself; she is injured by Thanos’s army to the extent that she would have died anyways, and thus becomes the person who should absolutely jump while she can, while she still breathes. There’s very little space or true emotion that’s allowed to permeate through the text because the tension is not “will one of them die?” but “will Natasha be able to die before Thanos gets them?”, and I can’t help but think that this is the death they were okay with giving her. I’m 110% sure the only reason they didn’t is because they watched the entire film together and realized how shitty and emotionless of a death hers would be in comparison to Tony’s when you cut it all together.

This also just... sucks, for the BW movie. This is what SJ and co. have to justify. So, in light of this now-explicit narrative that Natasha has nothing to live for, I predict that the black widow movie will be about how, since the Avengers family was previously torn apart in Civil War, Nat decides to seek out her russian quasi-family, which I’m guessing will also be broken apart over the course of the film, leaving her with absolutely nothing and nobody to live for. At least, that’s the way they’ll frame it. 

[pale-scales]

KAPGLAZ

Some drabble for one of the many ships I enjoy~. Take it and love it. ❂Dancing with a Stranger❂

His feet feel awkward in these tight shoes, this suit is too uncomfortable and suffocating. These people eye him like some sort of animal, he hated when they had to handle politics. It was the last thing he wanted to be bothered with, everyone was the same. These suited up, snobby, wealthy people who spent their nights drinking high classed alcohol and tiny finger foods. But... it was for the Russian embassy... they were all required to be here. That didn’t make him feel any more uneasy, his team was all so spread out and minding their own business that he had managed to perch himself in a corner and simply people watch. Humans were always particularly funny to watch to him. The way their body postures told more than their lips ever could. Women holding their hips, straightening their backs as if they were a rabbit trying to attract a mate. Men puffing their chest like some sort of bird while the pranced around strutting their tail feathers. It was all bland and uneventful for him. With clammy fingers wrapped around his glass of what only anyone could assume was the strongest alcohol they offered at the establishment he continued to shift uncomfortably, pulling every so often on the collar of the constricting black suit he had be crammed into. It wasn’t until a slender form approached him that he fully tensed like a dog raising its hackles at an approaching enemy. The female was someone he wasn’t familiar with. But she looked well more interested in Kapkan than he was into her. The words that flooded from her mouth went on deaf ears, muffled and completely ignored because he couldn’t be bothered to hold a conversation with a stranger.. Lips wrapping around the rim of the glass in his hand so he could finish what was left of his drink, his throat and lips felt so dry. It wasn’t until people began to descend to the dance floor that he felt this strange woman pull him along and have them begin to sway with the music. Usually he would protest but he could see his team now, watching from a far and snickering like the group of gossips they are... all except for a certain sniper who was looking at the floor. He could see that look, the posture of someone experiencing irritation that was slowly bubbling into rage.. Glaz was jealous? Why? Oh yeah, looking down now he could see his arms wrapped around the smaller frame of the female, her arms wrapped around his broad shoulders and very little to no space between them. She was still talking, her red lips moving all the more closer... It was out of instinct but Kapkan dropped his arms and practically dropped her, causing the woman to stumble and fall on to the floor. All he could do was look at her while she huffed and yelled every possible curse his way. Every set of eyes that were able to see him were now fixated on the scene before them. Okay so maybe he panicked and dropped her... she kinda deserved it considering she was moving so close to his face and he was already feeling claustrophobic as it was. To avoid any other conflict and for once to keep his mouth shut so he didn’t ruin things further, the hunter threw his body towards the nearest door.  Thankfully it lead outside and allowed him a moment of fresh air. A hand coming to comb and push back those dark dusty brown strands before his ears picked up on the sound of footsteps and the door opening behind him. It wasn’t a set of heels so he knew it wasn’t the woman or Finka after him. No instead he got a strong hand on his shoulder and when spun around he was met with the most... breathtaking sight. Glaz’s ocean grey blue eyes were peering up at him, a smile on his features. Before he could even explain himself he felt the arms of the sniper ensnare him and his head rest on his shoulder. “You are a trouble maker even when you mean not to be, Maxim..” The words made a huff come from the hunter. But the sniper wasn’t wrong in saying that... “She shouldn’t have been so close to me... The air is so thick in there I could cut it with my knife... if Finka had let me bring it..” Kapkan sounded like a pouting child, but reluctantly his arms wrapped around his companion. Head resting on the others while they stood there for a moment and before Kapkan even realized, Glaz had begun to move their forms in a swaying motion as if to have them dancing. Now this... this felt right to him, there was no added pressure to his chest, no tight dry feeling in his throat. It was just the two of them enjoying each others company. “You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re jealous and pouting~.” That earned Kapkan a jab to his side, the both of them chuckling and locking their lips in a tender kiss. The moon above setting the perfect lighting for them to just exist in each other company with no further distractions. “Maybe I should tell her my fiance isn’t fond of someone else having their arms wrapped around me~.” The hunter couldn’t help but feel proud of himself when he simply got an eye roll from the sniper and a quick pat to his cheek as if a way to tell him to stop talking.  “We should go back inside, find Sasha and the others... they were worried when you stormed out here like you did..” Glaz mentioned now locking their fingers together, the two of them staring at the silver and gold bands on each ring finger. As cheesy as Kapkan thought it was, he never even hesitate when Glaz offered him a ring that was passed down in his family. It was important to him... and it would continue to be important to them both. “Alright alright.. I guess I’ve had my fill of affection... just don’t like being at these damn events.. the sooner I can go home and bend you over a chair the better.” Kapkan made a noise similar to that of a growl and gave the sniper’s rear a good squeeze while they walked up the stairs to the door. “Who says I’m going to let you top tonight~? You’ll have to fight me for it, Princess.” A challenge? Oh now the night was beginning to sound more and more fun. “You know I can never say no to a challenge~.” LOTS OF GAY MUSH STUFF! YEET ENJOY IT!

[ademainalors]

Let’s rant about cis people for a moment

Dear cis people (and certain traitorous trans people, but I’m going to pretend it’s all cis people while I passive-aggressively side-eye you) who are straight or gay, or certain trash bis, I am sorry to give you the bad news, but gender is fake, and whatever solid line you doth hold dear to your heart for the purposes of fucking or marriage, or fucking marriage, my non-binary ass is going to destroy. I am unilaterally hot. I am the sexiest person on this planet. I have the sexy traits of all genders. It’s really sexy. I am so cute that I am banned from Saudi Arabia, not directly on the basis of my gender, but because I, due to my gender, am so hot, that my hotness would reflect off of their semi-phallic fountain, and burn Riyadh to the fucking ground. I am so hot that Russia bans me, not directly due to my gender, but because I am so hot that there would be a war to stand in my presence, and thus, if I so chose to, I would join the Mongols with the accolade of invading during the Russian winter and winning, winning the hearts of every Russian. I am so hot that I am the subject of every Italian love song, yes, every single one. And yet, none of you has the guts to take my heart. It’s right there, yohoo, sexiest person on the planet, you’d think I’d be hitched by now, and You’re so attached to your genders and your orientations, that the HOTTEST person on the PLANET, you would pass up on the opportunity to go to coffee with? See, when trans people say y’all are transphobic for not thinking we’re cute, this is what we mean, you do very much think we’re cute, as the hottest person on the planet, do you think I don’t get a sexy smile, a sexy wink, all those flirtatious gestures, and yet, you COWARDS, don’t aCT on your GoDdAMeD FEELINGS. It’s like all that GROSS cis ROMEO and JULIET shit about the power of love and shit just evaporates, and oh, suddenly I’m going to evaluate this rationally, even though five seconds ago I was a nerd asking a cheerleader to the prom even though we don’t have any common hobbies *sips tea.* Listen, you don’t have to give up your sexual orientation if it gives you comfort, you don’t have convert to the cult of pansexuality, and actually, if I’m being real honest, it’s a real pain in my ass when you’re one of those folks who I’ve got to do emotional labor for, I’m a person, I’m not a Panera, my job is not to churn out pans, if you’re fucking questioning, let me assure you, that I am neither more of an expert on your sexuality than you, nor is it a prerequisite to pan-ness fuck the first enby you lock eyes with, this isn’t a Pokemon Porno, you pans, certain trash bis, and future pans you have the opposite problem, stop asking me out, you don’t actually think I’m cute and we have nothing in common. But I was talking about the other end of the spectrum, cis people (side eyes certain trans) that are not pans etc. al, which I will now refer to NPEA, not pans etc. al. NPEA, it would be unhealthy for you to ask me out right now, even though you think I’m hot, because the reason you are flirting with me senselessly despite having no interest of ever dating me is a whole lot of binarism in the deepest recesses of your brain that you’re just going to have to yeet, if you misgender me, if you do that NPEA thing where you passive-aggressively treat me like a binary gender in the hopes that I’ll become one, if you scream, WHAT A WO/MAN YOU ARE during sex and it’s not a humiliation BDSM kink thing, I’m sorry, it’s not going to work. The fact that you are an NPEA is, to a certain extent, a shorthand for I’ve never considered that enbies actually existed in my life and that they could be hot. In the same way that an interracial relationship would be work, or that a straight relationship ought to be work *sips tea*, you’re going to have to do that relationship thing that you OUGHT TO BE DOING ANYWAYS *sips tea* of communicating your needs to your partner and meeting your partners needs. I understand that a lot of you are very bad lovers, and you’re bad at communication, but by flirting with enbies with no intention of ever dating them whatsoever, none at all, you are not only reinforcing your bad communication habits, but you are being an ass, and yes, I recognize that mistakes are made, that feelings are misinterpreted, that the actions of a cute waitress are not out of love, but out of capitalism, I’m not writing an edict here, assholes, you know who you are and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, as much as I want to hunt you shitty NPEA for sport, I have no intent to do so, mostly because I think you’re hot too, and I hold hope in my heart that someday you will all cast aside your transphobia and become the enby loving gay, straight, and bis you were always meant to be, but right now you’re being assholes, and I’m going to give you the step by step process to go from asshole to not asshole. First, when that enby that you’re senselessly flirting with asks you out, be honest as to why you are rejecting them. You do think they’re cute! Don’t do that gaslighty shit where you pretend that they were never cute, acknowledge that they’re cute, acknowledge that you have fears about being in a relationship with them, both about how their existence smashes your worldview, and how they might not fit into your transphobic XYZ social structure, say that you don’t want to put them through the emotional labor of detransphobifying your existence. Step two, is to detransphobify your existence, fun fact, if your shitty family and your shitty friends aren’t transphobes, that makes it easier to date the sexiest person in the world, talk to your family about trans rights. Make it clear to them that you stan trans rights and you don’t stan them not stanning trans rights. Change the culture in the spaces that you operate in to be more accepting of non-binary folks. Hold your friends and family members accountable for misgendering people. We can’t do all this shit, we’re too busy wasting our time with the futile task of flirting with you! Clean your own damn house! Finally, once you’ve done that, don’t force it. you’ve recognized the universal sexiness that is found in enbies, but you ought not to fetishize it, don’t emulate the trash pans, you still need the other shit that makes a good relationship, just be open to the idea that your love doesn’t have to be binary. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[artificialqueens]

we’ll get there [pt. 1] (plastique/brooke) - scheherazade

A/N: yeet, it’s my first time posting and it’s a fic challenge ! i decided to go with these:

rare pair: plastique/brooke

tropes: 1) reuniting after a long time apart and 2) besties who’re secretly inlove with each other and neither knows

bonus: lesbian au

Summary: Brooke and Vanjie break up and Brooke is thrust into the aftermath where there are broken friendships & inner turmoil to be found. She gets by with a little help from an old friend.

How dare she?

“I deserve better,”

Better than what?

“Better than what you can give me.”

Brooke slammed open the door of her and Nina’s dorm room, the customized rainbow number plate they hung dangerously swinging from the impact. She threw her bag in a random direction and face-planted on her bed. She buried her face in the covers to muffle her scream.

“Oh no mama, I know that look. C'mon Brooke, understand me here. We just ain’t workin’ out.”

How can she decide that?

Brooke heard a familiar laughter from around the corner. The sound got louder and louder and Brooke groaned.

“Brooke?” Her face was still buried in the covers but she knew that it was her roommate. “I—we didn’t know you were here.”

She remembered when Nina didn’t sound so surprised to see her. Back when she didn’t practically live in her girlfriend’s (ex’s) pocket.

“Yeah. We thought you’d be with your girlfriend.”

The laugh Brooke heard earlier was definitely Yvie’s. Fuck. She didn’t know if she could handle their…issues above everything else. She hoped that Yvie would notice her mood and drop any attitude that she would probably give. Not that it wasn’t deserved.

“Girlfriend? Not anymore.” Brooke intended for her reply to be biting. She wanted it to reflect the anger she felt at that moment but at the last word, her voice broke. Her cheeks burned in humiliation.

The bed dipped beside her and she felt a hand on her shoulder. Warm. “Will you be okay?”

Brooke really doesn’t know. She voiced that thought to Nina.

“Do you need anything?”

It was shameful the way she immediately blurted out her ex’s name. Someone scoffed and even without seeing, Brooke knew that it was Yvie. She probably rolled her eyes too and crossed her arms, the combination she did when she found something particularly ridiculous and dumb. Brooke was familiar with it once.

Nina tutted and Brooke heard a placating “Okay fine,” from Yvie (who probably also threw up her arms, if Brooke remembered) before she heard the door shut.

“Sorry about her.” Nina apologized.

Brooke didn’t reply. Her mind was too busy going into overdrive about everything that was wrong in her life. Between the unexpected break-up and everything else, she just wanted to chug her ballet teacher’s Russian vodka and hope that her problems solved themselves.

“Nina?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want a hug.”

“C'mere baby,”

Brooke shuffled around until she was in her roommate's—and best friend’s, if Nina still considered her that—arms. She curled inwards in an attempt to make herself smaller. She snuffled and was embarrassed to realize that she had started crying. Brooke tried to regulate her breathing and bit her lip to stop it from wobbling and setting off a wave of tears.

It didn’t matter because when Nina tightened her hug and started stroking her hair, she was undone. Her walls let down, just for this moment.

“N—Are you angry at me too? Like Yvie?” If she was going to cry, she might as well cry about everything wrong; might as well bite the bullet.

“No. But I am disappointed. And sad. Mostly sad.”

Nina didn’t explain and Brooke didn’t question her further, too afraid of the conversation escalating and losing the only comfort she had for the day.

•

“You’re late Ms. Hytes.”

Brooke almost fell to her knees apologizing, true to the Canadian way. She had woken up this morning to a covered plate of pancakes with a sticky note beside it. Nina wrote using a pink glittery pen and questionable handwriting. She must’ve rushed.

made pancakes for u. there’s maple syrup on the counter the brand u likeee sry didn’t wake u up u look like u need rest. take it easy brooke :) Nina <3

It was sweet and really warmed her heart but one glance at the clock made it freeze. She ate the pancakes quickly (but not before drizzling them in syrup) and dropped the dishes in the sink and reminded herself to wash it later. Afterwards, she ran and repeatedly apologized as she hit a lot of people on the way.

“I’m so sorry Ms. Visage, I woke up late today and I swear it won’t happen again.”

“Just get over there,” she motioned to the seats and Brooke complied, murmuring another apology.

She ignored Vanjie who sat between Silky and A'keria and the lack of empty seat somewhere between the three that was usually reserved for Brooke. She opted to sit between Gia and Jujubee who seemed to be discussing something with Raven. She settled in her seat and turned to Gia.

“Hey did I miss anything?”

“Absolutely, we just paired up for the project.”

“What project? Who am I left to pair up with?” Brooke’s eyes widened.

“Funny Ms. Hytes, that’s what I was just about to discuss.” Ms. Visage replied and raised a brow.

There was a smattering of laughter and Brooke bowed her head and winced.

“And to answer your question: everyone is paired up,” Brooke dreaded doing a potentially hard project alone. “But there will be a new student coming tomorrow so you can do the project with her.”

The class burst into chatter and questions when their professor announced a new student. Brooke could pick out some of the most popular comments.

“What’s her name?”

“Where is she from?”

“Why is she transferring now?”

“I hope she’s hot,”

Brooke wanted to ask a question herself except she noticed that Ms. Visage’s face got stonier by the minute.

“Silence!” she called out and like magic, it worked. “You’ll meet her when you meet her. Now can I discuss the project? Yes? Good.”

••

Brooke stressed out over the project until lunch. Then at lunch, she stressed out where to sit because obviously, she wasn’t welcome at her ex’s table anymore. She sighed and held on stupidly to her lunch tray and dragged her feet to find an empty table.

Brooke thought about the project their professor gave them. They were supposed to put together a 30-minute presentation about two countries wherein country A has influenced country B (through trade, colonization, etc.) enough so that it has been integrated into B’s culture in present time. They were supposed to include how it became so and an answer to what if the cause didn’t happen. What would change?

She decided that she needed to get a high–if not the highest– grade. She was going to and that’s final. Brooke knew that she was a competitive person. She needed a win badly and it’ll be something that’s sure to lift her spirits.

Her view regarding the project was starting to lighten up. It provided a very important perk which was distraction. The project gave her something to focus on, to work towards—a goal. And she’d rather do that than wallow in feelings.

Just as soon as she started feeling better because of the project, she remembered that her partner was going to be a stranger. That one factor could potentially change everything. Brooke Lynn clicked her tongue and snapped at herself mentally. She was not going to ruin this by overthinking. Whoever her partner was going to be, she was going to make sure they were on board with her goals.

“Brooke!” She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name called. An enthusiastic arm was waving at her and it belonged to Nina. “Come sit with us!”

Brooke approached hesitantly at her table. “Are you sure?” she asked, glancing at Yvie.

Yvie rolled her eyes at her. “This is so dumb. Just sit down girl.” She said and scooted over near Scarlet by her left to make space.

Brooke’s lips quirked. How long has it been since? “Okay,” She sat down.

Nina grasped at the arm of the person closest to her, who just happened to be Shuga, and looked at them like they just made her dreams come true. It was sickeningly sweet. And totally undeserved, Brooke thought, they haven’t really reconciled yet.

Yvie noticed Nina too and she laughed. “Ew stop that. You only look at your girlfriend like that. It’s weird on us,”

Nina leaned on Shuga and proved Yvie correct. “She deserves it. Anyway, this is a special occasion.”

“Yes!” Shuga clapped like the cinnamon roll that she was. “Welcome back Miss Brooke Lynn!”

“Yeah, how was ignoring us for 5 months?”

Brooke flinched. She considered not replying but her tongue slipped. The urge to fall back to the usual banter between her and Yvie overtook.

“Honestly? Awful. How did I ever survive lunch without Nina and Shuga being sickeningly sweet? Not in front of my salad!”

“If being sweet is like this then I’m diabetic.” Yvie retorted.

Nina threw them an unimpressed look. “Brooke I think you can go back.” She made a shoo-ing motion which made Brooke feign a scoff while the others laughed.

“Anyway, uh, what’s up? Catch me up on the stuff I missed.” Brooke segued, kind of awkwardly.

“Ms. Del Rio is a flaming bitch.” Scarlet spoke up and her Physics book on the table. Brooke was surprised to hear the hostility in Scarlet’s tone, and aimed at a professor nonetheless.

“Say it again for the people in the back!” someone from across the cafeteria shouted.

…

So. Insulting your sharp-tongued Physics teacher wasn’t the best idea. Scarlet and a couple other students who jumped in on the protest against the teacher—who apparently is a “demon sent from hell on wooden legs"— now served two hours of detention after school. For the rest of the week.

Brooke Lynn felt sorry for them. She had Ms. Del Rio before and she knew that she made them go through suffering (a lot of it) so that they could learn properly. They would thank her in the end. Either that or they’ll plot to overthrow her or something.

She leaned against her locker as students went past, rushing to get out of school. Brooke waited until she saw Yvie and went after her.

She needed to apologize.

"Yvie! Eve!” she called out.

The girl stopped and looked at her, adjusting the strap of her fluffy blue cookie monster bag. “What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you? Out. I meant, outside—somewhere out, like a coffeeshop?” Brooke asked. “I want to apologize.”

Yvie looked hesitant but then she sighed and shrugged. “Shuga’s bakery. Your treat.”

[tbc]