#yeet that microphone

[nicoscheer]

The fact that Alex’s dad David Turner taught Miles the saxophone part for that moonage daydream part is so 🥹🥹

Moonage Daydream - Glastonbury [25-06-2016] (for @lanatural-books 😘😘. Sorry, it’s a bit ugly 😅)

[acute-crashout-jeyuso]

Between the Ropes: a Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley fanfic.

Chapter 37: Mentality

December 30th, 2024, 8:30 P.M

The arena was electric with anticipation, a palpable energy pulsing through the crowd. It had been months since Rhea had graced the ring, and the fans were ready to welcome her back. As the lights dimmed, her entrance theme exploded through the speakers, sending a thunderous roar rippling across the entire arena. The crowd erupted, a mix of cheers and screams as Rhea made her way to the stage.

Dressed in a black “Championship Jey Uso” shirt with “Yeet” emblazoned in gold across the front along with black jeans and black platform Vans, she was a vision of confidence and power. She paused at the top of the ramp, casting a gaze over the sea of fans before taking a deep breath. Then, with her infamous stomp, she brought her foot down, and the crowd reached an all-time fever pitch, chanting her name, their voices filling every corner of the stadium.

The ring announcer’s voice echoed, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… the Eradicator, Rhea Ripley!”

As she made her way down the ramp, Rhea kept her stride steady, soaking in the energy, the love, and the cheers that washed over her like a wave. Fans reached out their hands, and she gave them nods and fist bumps, feeding off the electric connection with her supporters. When she reached the ring, she paused at the edge, taking a final deep breath before stepping inside. The cheers continued, growing louder as she picked up the microphone.

She waited for the crowd to settle, but instead, a chant began to rise, rolling across the arena like thunder: “MAMI! MAMI! MAMI!”

Rhea couldn’t help but smile, a genuine, heartfelt expression as she looked out at the fans. She waited until the chants quieted just enough for her to speak. “Thank you… thank you so much,” she began, her voice steady but thick with emotion. “I don’t know where to start, to be honest. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out here, and to hear all of you… it means the world to me.”

The crowd quieted as they hung on her every word, sensing the gravity of the moment.

“I’ve given my everything to this ring,” she continued, her voice a bit shaky now. “I’ve bled, I’ve sweat, I’ve pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of… for each and every one of you. This place… this ring… it’s where I’ve found purpose, where I’ve found strength. And because of you, I’ve felt like I’ve been able to give that strength back to others.”

Her gaze shifted downward, her hand tightening on the mic as she gathered herself.

“But… sometimes, life throws you challenges that make you realize that even the strongest among us… need help,” she said, a hint of vulnerability cracking her voice. “And there’s no shame in that. There’s no weakness in asking for help when you need it. I’ve been through my battles, both in and out of this ring, and I want you all to know… if you’re struggling, if you feel alone, if you’re fighting something you can’t handle on your own… please, please reach out. There’s someone out there who wants to help. It’s not weakness—it’s courage.”

The arena was silent, fans riveted by her sincerity and openness. She looked up, her eyes glistening.

“I… I’m going to be stepping away from the ring,” she said, a wave of gasps and murmurs rippling through the crowd. “This isn’t a decision I made lightly, but it’s what I need to do for myself, for my health, and for my future. So, today, I’m here to officially announce my retirement from wrestling.”

The crowd responded with a mix of sadness and respect, chanting “Thank You Mami” in a show of love and gratitude. Rhea felt her heart swell, and for the first time in a long time, she let herself feel the weight of the moment. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she tried to blink them away, her hand lifting to wipe it before she chuckled softly into the mic.

“But just because Mami is leaving the ring,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion, “doesn’t mean Mami won’t die, because while you guys are going to continue to miss Mami, a little Uce’ is going to be calling me ‘Mami’ in a couple of months.” She placed a hand on her stomach and it was almost as if the crowd could have blown the roof off the arena.

As the cheers turned into a frenzy, she carefully placed the microphone down in the center of the ring, standing tall as she looked out at the fans one last time. The chants of “Mami!” continued as she raised her hand in a final wave, a bittersweet smile crossing her face.

Just then, Jey emerged from backstage, striding toward her, his own expression a mixture of pride and admiration. The crowd erupted once more, their cheers reaching a deafening volume as he reached the ring and stepped inside. Without hesitation, he pulled Rhea into his arms, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before their lips met, sealing the moment with an intimate, heartfelt kiss that drew even louder applause from the fans.

Rhea waved a final goodbye, tears in her eyes, as Jey wrapped his arm around her shoulders, leading her out of the ring and down the ramp, back toward the life they were building together.

As Jey let go of her, Rhea was surprised to see Hunter walking toward her with a warm smile. He pulled her into a tight hug, the kind of hug that carried years of trust and admiration. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, “You’re not fully gone, Rhea. You’re just hidden from the fans, but you’re still part of this family.” He pulled back, looking her in the eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, a quiet reminder that her impact on WWE was far from over.

Next was Bruce Prichard, who approached her with a comforting smile. As he wrapped her in a hug, he leaned back and said, “Retirements are always tough, but you did well. Really well. I look forward to what we’re going to accomplish together next month.” His words of encouragement reassured her about the new path she was heading toward.

As she and Jey continued down the hallway, they were met with dozens of WWE Superstars crowded in Gorilla, all there to see her off. Each one offered hugs, some whispering words of support, others simply sharing proud smiles. Friends, rivals, colleagues—all of them had gathered to honor her journey, and the love in their eyes made her feel that she’d left a mark on each one of them.

When she and Jey finally made their way back to the hotel, a quietness settled between them. Rhea kicked off her shoes and sank into the bed, the weight of the day finally catching up to her. She looked over at Jey, her eyes clouded with unshed tears. “That’s… that’s probably the last time they’ll ever hear my entrance music,” she whispered, a trace of sadness woven through her voice.

Jey looked at her, seeing the raw vulnerability she rarely allowed herself to show. The tears finally spilled over, and she tried to look away, but Jey was already there, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. He gently rubbed her back, murmuring words of comfort. “Hey, hey… it’s okay. That entrance music might fade, but Rhea… you’re unforgettable. You gave them your heart and soul, and that’s something no one can take away from you. You’re moving on to bigger things, but you’ll always be a part of this world, a part of them. They’ll never forget you.”

Rhea leaned into his embrace, letting his words sink in, grounding her as she felt the bittersweet ache in her heart start to ease. She took a shaky breath and nodded, allowing herself to be held in his warmth and reassurance.

— December 25th, 2024.

The cozy warmth of Christmas filled the house as the family sat together, surrounded by gifts, laughter, and an overwhelming sense of love. Rhea, Jey, Jon, Trinity, Joe, Galina, Joseph, Almia, and Solofa and Talisua were all gathered around the living room, each enjoying the merriment of exchanging gifts. Rhea’s dogs, Barry, Bella, and Luna, lay sprawled out comfortably on the floor, while her mischievous cat, Storm, lurked near the tree, eyeing the wrapping paper with playful interest.

Jon’s face lit up as he unwrapped his gift from Rhea and Jey—a beautifully crafted leather-bound journal filled with family photos, personal stories, and memories that celebrated his journey both in and out of the ring. His voice was thick with emotion as he looked up at the two of them. “You guys… I can’t even explain what this means to me. This is perfect. Every page feels like a piece of our history.”

Jey grinned, clapping his brother on the shoulder. “We wanted you to have something you could look back on, something that celebrates you, Jon. You’re not just a brother to us—you’re a legend.”

Jon pulled Jey and Rhea into a heartfelt hug. “I’m seriously blown away. Thank you both so much.”

As they settled back, Rhea turned to Trinity with a hopeful look. “So, Trin, have you guys thought any more about moving closer?”

Trinity grinned, nodding. “Actually, yes! We’re planning to make the move, but we probably won’t be doing it until April. Gotta get a few things settled here first.”

Rhea’s face lit up with excitement. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy you guys are coming.”

Trinity laughed, glancing at Jon with a playful smirk. “You don’t even know what I had to do to convince him!”

Rhea raised an eyebrow, leaning in with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Oh, I can imagine. Some sexy lingerie to seal the deal?”

Trinity burst into laughter, nearly spilling her drink. “Girl, you know it!” She winked at Rhea. “Sometimes, a little extra persuasion is all you need.”

Just then, the oven timer went off, and Jon stood up, clapping his hands together. “Alright, the ham’s done!” he announced, making his way to the kitchen.

Trinity followed, playfully rolling up her sleeves as she started warming up the sides. Rhea and Jey took this as their cue to start setting the table, each one carefully laying out plates, napkins, and silverware.

Suddenly, Jon’s voice rang out from the kitchen. “Get off!” he yelped, startling everyone. Rhea turned to see Storm perched brazenly on the counter, sniffing around at the ham. She shot her cat a look. “Storm, down! Now!”

The cat hissed but obeyed, hopping down with a flick of her tail and sauntering away, unimpressed. Jon shook his head, muttering, “There better be no cat hair on my ham.”

Rhea rolled her eyes and chuckled, heading to the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of cranberry juice and a bottle of Sprite, pouring two glasses and handing one to Trinity, who was busy stirring the mashed potatoes on the stove.

As the others settled in, Rhea poured drinks for everyone else, giving them their choice between lemonade, sweet tea, or hot cocoa. Once drinks were sorted, she and Trinity began serving the plates, carefully scooping out mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and other sides. Jon carved the ham, adding two generous slices to each plate, while Jey ladled out gravy and made sure each plate had a fresh roll and a bit of salad.

With everything finally prepared, the family gathered around the table. Each place was perfectly set, the plates brimming with food, and the atmosphere was rich with love and tradition. Everyone found their seats, each person’s gaze reflecting the warmth of the season.

They all reached out, holding hands around the table. Solofa, the patriarch of the family, bowed his head, leading them in the Lord’s Prayer in Samoan. His voice was deep and steady, filling the room with a sense of reverence.

“Lo matou Tama e i le lagi,” he began, his words resonating with each family member as they joined him in silent prayer, listening to the familiar cadence. As he continued, everyone closed their eyes, feeling the strength of family and tradition.

“Aua le taofia mai le i’uga, ae lavea’i mai i le leaga…” he concluded, the words flowing beautifully as everyone joined in for the final amen, uttered in Samoan: “Amene.”

They opened their eyes, exchanging warm smiles, and for a moment, there was a peaceful silence, broken only by the soft clinking of forks and knives as they finally began their Christmas feast. It was a day filled with laughter, love, and memories that each of them would carry forever, a reminder of the bonds that held them close, no matter what life brought their way.

After dinner, as the delicious aroma of desserts filled the air, Rhea and Trinity moved around the table with plates in hand, offering everyone a choice of sweet treats. Trinity served her homemade banoffee pie, rich with layers of caramel, bananas, and whipped cream, while Joe proudly passed out pieces of his indulgent fudge, and Solofa and Talisua presented their traditional Pani Popo—soft, fluffy buns drenched in sweet coconut sauce. Each dessert was a masterpiece in its own right, making it hard for anyone to choose just one.

After making sure everyone had their selection, Rhea finally sat down with her own plate, a little bit of each dessert adorning it. She noticed Jey giving her a playful grin as he eyed her assortment. “Dang, you’re really going for it, huh?” he teased, his eyes twinkling with affection. “Well, you are eating for two.”

Rhea laughed, nudging him gently. “You know it! Baby deserves the best of everything—especially dessert.”

She picked up a piece of Joe’s fudge and, feeling a bit mischievous, leaned over to feed it to Jey. He accepted the bite with a smirk, savoring the rich chocolate as his hand found hers, squeezing it gently. They shared a soft, intimate moment, completely absorbed in each other. Their closeness was undeniable, a warmth that spread beyond just the two of them and seemed to fill the entire room.

Jon noticed the cozy exchange and couldn’t help but throw in some lighthearted banter. “Alright, alright, you two, save a little for the rest of us,” he teased, feigning jealousy. “Here I am, sitting with my pie, and you two are over there making dessert look like a love story.”

Jey chuckled, wrapping an arm around Rhea. “What can I say, Uce? Some people just know how to make dessert unforgettable.” He leaned in, giving Rhea a soft kiss on the cheek, causing her to blush.

Trinity joined in the teasing, nudging Jon. “Come on, Jon, you can be romantic, too. It’s Christmas, after all!”

Jon rolled his eyes playfully. “Oh, I don’t need to feed you fudge to show my love. My love language is eating my own dessert without anyone trying to steal it,” he joked, taking a big, exaggerated bite of his pie.

The whole table erupted in laughter, with Galina, Joseph, and even Solofa and Talisua chuckling at Jon’s humor. Rhea looked around, her heart swelling with happiness. These moments—filled with laughter, love, and family—were everything she’d ever wanted, and now she was surrounded by it all.

As the group enjoyed their desserts, the atmosphere was light and cheerful, punctuated by laughter and playful teasing.

“So, Rhea, any baby names floating around yet?” Jon asked, leaning in with curiosity. “Or are we sticking with ‘Mami’ and ‘Yeet’ for now?”

Rhea chuckled, shaking her head. “No, I think we can do better than that. But Jey and I have thrown around a few ideas. What do you think of ‘Lyric’ for a girl?”

Jey nodded in agreement. “Or ‘Joshua’ for a boy. Sounds pretty cool, right?”

“Very cool! But what about ‘Jon’ for a boy? It has a nice ring to it!” Jon joked, puffing out his chest.

“Yeah, because that won’t confuse anyone at all,” Trinity laughed, rolling her eyes. “We might as well name the baby ‘Rhea’ so we have enough of you two running around!”

“Or how about ‘Josephina’?” Almia suggested with a grin, earning a mock groan from everyone.

“Now that’s just mean,” Joseph said, feigning offense. “But I like the creativity!”

Joe chimed in, “Speaking of creativity, Rhea, how are you feeling about your retirement in Houston this Monday? Must be bittersweet, huh?”

“Definitely bittersweet,” Rhea admitted, her tone shifting slightly. “It feels surreal, but I know it’s the right choice for me right now.”

“You’ll still be ‘Mami’ in our hearts, whether you’re in the ring or not,” Joe reassured her.

Rhea laughed, “Don’t worry, I’ll be here, just writing some of those storylines from the sidelines from now on!”

“Just don’t go too crazy with the plot twists,” Jey teased, nudging her playfully.

“Hey, I’ll have you know my twists are legendary!” Rhea shot back with a grin.

Meanwhile, Solofa leaned towards Jey with a smirk. “I think your cat is plotting to take down the Christmas tree, just so you know.”

Jey glanced over to see Storm perched on the counter, eyeing the tree with mischief in his eyes. “Get off the counter, you little menace!” he yelled jokingly, earning laughter from everyone.

Joseph laughed, “I guess some things never change, huh? But back to serious business—Joe and I have been working on continuing the Bloodline fiasco.”

“Is it going to involve me throwing you off a steel cage?” Joe quipped, winking at Rhea.

Joseph laughed, “Maybe! But I need you to make it look good—no botches, please.”

Almia chimed in, “Speaking of legacies, you two are going to be amazing moms. Just remember, if you need any advice, I’m always here. With Joseph, we’ve been through it all.”

“And don’t hesitate to call me too!” Galina added, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “We’ve got your back!”

“Thanks, you guys. We really appreciate that,” Rhea said, her heart warming at the support. “I’m sure we’ll have questions—especially when it comes to those sleepless nights!”

Trinity nodded, her expression earnest. “And I’ll need tips on how to keep Jon from making a mess while I’m trying to handle the babies!”

“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m just as good at diaper duty as I am at wrestling!” Jon replied defensively, but laughter erupted again.

“Just remember, boys, it’s not about you anymore,” Almia added with a wink. “Get ready to be on baby duty!”

With the chatter flowing, dessert plates were soon empty, but the warmth and joy in the room lingered, setting the tone for a wonderful holiday celebration surrounded by love and laughter.

As the front door closed behind Joe and Galina, Rhea and Jey exchanged warm smiles, their hearts still buzzing from the joyful gathering. They made their way back to their bedroom, the sound of laughter and chatter fading behind them.

Once inside, Rhea paused and turned to Jey, a playful glint in her eyes. “I have one last gift for you,” she said, her voice teasing.

Jey raised an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips. “If it’s a pair of socks, I’m gonna be mad,” he joked, crossing his arms with mock seriousness.

Rhea laughed, shaking her head as she moved toward the bed. “Oh, it’s definitely not socks,” she replied, her excitement bubbling over. She crouched down and reached underneath the bed, her hands rummaging for just the right thing.

When she emerged, she held a shiny blue box, its surface gleaming under the soft light of the room. Jey’s eyes widened in curiosity as she handed it to him. “Open it,” she urged.

With eager hands, Jey lifted the lid and revealed a stunning Cuban chain. It was slightly larger than his last one, but this one was different—made of solid white gold and gleaming with an undeniable weight and elegance. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Rhea… this is incredible,” he breathed, his voice filled with astonishment as he lifted the chain, feeling its heaviness in his hands. “I can’t believe you got me this!”

Rhea smiled warmly, her heart swelling with affection. “You gave me yours, and I wanted to give you one that shows how much you mean to me,” she said, her tone sincere. “You’re my everything, Jey.”

Overwhelmed with emotion, Jey stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “This means so much to me,” he whispered before leaning down to capture her lips in a tender kiss. The kiss deepened, filled with love and gratitude, as the world outside faded away.

After a moment, Jey pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. This is the best gift I could ever ask for.”

Rhea grinned, her heart fluttering. “And it’s just the beginning. We have so much to look forward to together.”

He let the chain fall back into the box for a moment, his hands cupping her face as he gazed into her eyes. “You’re right, we do. Here’s to new beginnings, Mami.”

With a shared smile, they knew that no matter what lay ahead, they would face it together, their bond stronger than ever.

—

December 26th, 2024

Jey lounged on the edge of the bed, his phone pressed to his ear. “Hey babygirl! What do you think about spending New Year’s in Houston?” he called out, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“I’m in the shower! That sounds great!” Rhea responded, her voice slightly muffled by the sound of water.

“Damian rented an Airbnb, and it’s a full-on party. He’s invited everyone!” Jey continued, excitement bubbling up.

Rhea turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself. She pulled out her brush and styling products and wiped the mirrors’ steam. “The kids? Are we bringing them?” She asked as she started to brush her hair.

Jey nodded, stepping into his closet, a mix of clothes already packed for their upcoming move. Since the kids had spent Christmas with Takecia and her family, it was Jey’s turn to have them for New Years. “Yeah, we’ll definitely have to bring them. But Damian said we could use one of the spare rooms in the Airbnb for the boys.”

“Perfect!” Rhea said, relief washing over her. “That’ll make it easier for us.”

Just then, Jey heard a loud exclamation from the bathroom. “Jey!” Rhea yelled, her tone urgent. “Get in here!”

Jey rushed into the bathroom, nearly slipping on the tiled floor as he entered. “What happened? Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes wide with concern.

Rhea held up a single gray hair strand, her face a mixture of drama and disbelief. “I’m old!” she wailed, her voice exaggerated for effect.

Jey raised an eyebrow, fighting back a laugh. “And what about my gray hairs? Should I start crying too?” he replied, playfully tugging at a few strands of his own hair that had started to show signs of aging.

Rhea rolled her eyes, a smile breaking through her faux panic. “I didn’t realize you were so mature,” she teased, tossing the gray hair strand into the sink.

Jey stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning in for a quick kiss. “Don’t worry about a little gray. It just means you’re getting wiser,” he said, his voice softening. “Besides, you look stunning no matter what.”

Rhea leaned into him, her worries about aging momentarily forgotten. “Thanks, babe. I guess we’re just going to have to embrace it, huh?”

“Exactly. We’re both getting older, but we’re also getting better,” Jey said, a grin spreading across his face. “And we’ve got a lot to celebrate this year.”

Rhea nodded, feeling a wave of warmth and comfort wash over her. “New Year’s in Houston is going to be amazing,” she said, her voice full of excitement.

“Definitely,” Jey agreed, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Now, let’s get ready for it. We’ve got a party to pack!”

—

Rhea and Jey made their way to the mall, pleasantly surprised to find it open the day after Christmas. The place was bustling with shoppers returning unwanted gifts and hunting for post-holiday sales. Rhea’s eyes sparkled with excitement as they navigated through the throngs of people.

“Let’s check out Windsor!” Rhea said, tugging Jey toward the store. She was determined to find the perfect outfit for the New Year’s party, whether it be a stunning dress or a stylish pantsuit.

Inside Windsor, Rhea immediately gravitated toward the racks, her fingers skimming over the fabrics. Jey leaned against a nearby display, watching her with a fond smile. “You’re going to find something amazing,” he encouraged, trying to sound as supportive as possible.

After a few moments of sorting through dresses, Rhea pulled out a couple of options and turned to Jey with a mischievous grin. “You need to come in here and help me decide!” she called out.

Jey chuckled, hesitating for a moment before walking into the fitting room area. “Alright, I’m coming,” he said, stepping into the small space. “What do you need my expert opinion on?”

As Jey approached Rhea, he quickly realized that she wasn’t wearing anything. He looked at Rhea, who had a mischievous smile on her face.

Rhea whispered, “I was hoping you could help me with something else too.”

Jey raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

Rhea grabbed Jey’s hand and placed it on her pussy so he could feel how wet she is, “I want you to fuck me.”

Jey’s eyes widened, “Rhea, we can’t do that here. What if someone comes in?”

Rhea pressed her body against Jey’s, “No one will come in. Besides, we can be quick and quiet.”

Rhea started to unbuckle Jey’s pants, and Jey couldn’t resist. He grabbed Rhea’s ass and pulled her closer, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss.

Rhea moaned as Jey entered her, their hands covering each other’s mouths to muffle the sound. Jey fucked Rhea against the wall quickly, their bodies moving in sync. This was something they hadn’t done since they were on the road, sneaking quickies in arena locker rooms or hiding out in vacant conference rooms.

Rhea wrapped her legs around Jey’s waist, pulling him deeper inside her. Jey could feel Rhea’s muscles clenching around him, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He normally would spend this time basking in her beauty, whispering sweet nothings in her, or even eating her out. Jey had found when he spent time going down on Rhea, it would hold off his orgasm cause he would be so focused on Rhea cumming first.

Rhea whispered in Jey’s ear, “Cum inside me. Hurry up, I want to feel you deep inside me.”

Jey couldn’t hold back any longer. He let out a muffled groan as he came inside Rhea, filling her up. Rhea smiled, her body still shaking from the orgasm.

Jey pulled out of Rhea and fixed his pants, “We need to get out of here before someone comes in.”

Rhea quickly put on her street clothes in a hastily fashion and opened the curtain, “I’ll meet you outside.”

Jey nodded and walked out of the fitting room, adjusting his pants. He looked around and saw a sales associate walking towards him, “Is everything alright, sir?”

Jey smiled, “Yeah, everything’s great. Just helping my fiancé try on some dresses.”

The sales associate nodded and walked away, and Jey let out a sigh of relief. He looked towards the fitting room and saw Rhea walking out, a satisfied smile on her face. She carefully set the dresses she wasn’t going to take on the rack and Rhea walked up to Jey and whispered in his ear, “That was fun. We should do it again.”

Jey chuckled, “Maybe we should wait until we’re not in a public place.”

Rhea laughed, “Fine, but you owe me one.”

Jey grinned, “I’ll make sure to collect on that promise.”

—

Jey and Rhea returned home from their successful shopping trip, bags in hand and excitement buzzing in the air. The mall had been lively, but they managed to find outfits that suited each other perfectly.

As they stepped inside, Rhea placed her bags on the couch and pulled out the mini velour long sleeve black dress. “I can’t believe I found this!” she said, holding it up to admire its luxurious texture.

Jey grinned, showing off the red Jordans he had picked out for himself, along with black jeans and a sleek black polo. “You’ll look amazing in that,” he said, nodding approvingly at her dress.

Rhea slipped the strappy red block heels out of the bag, placing them next to the dress. “The red will really pop,” she remarked with a smile, feeling more confident.

“And this jacket will tie my look together,” Jey added, revealing his black jacket.

With both of them dressed to impress, they exchanged satisfied glances, knowing they had helped each other pick out the perfect outfits.

As they finished putting away their clothes, Jey glanced over at Rhea, a playful smile on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked, a teasing tone lacing his words.

Rhea looked up, a puzzled expression crossing her face. “What do you mean?”

Jey leaned against the doorframe, his smirk widening. “You know, the quickie we had in the fitting room.”

Rhea burst into laughter, the sound light and carefree. “My hormones are everywhere, baby!”

Jey chuckled along with her. “Well, I could get used to those impromptu quickies,” he teased, stepping closer.

Rhea leaned in and gave him an Eskimo kiss, their noses brushing together in a sweet moment. “Just wait until tonight,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Jey raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Now you have me all excited.”

“Good. You should be,” Rhea replied, a playful grin on her face as she walked away, leaving Jey to anticipate their evening together.

— December 27th, 2024. Jon and Trinity’s house. 10:21 AM

Jey blasted Kendrick Lamar on the stereo in Jon and Trinity’s gym, the bass vibrating through the room as he focused intently on his shoulder exercises. The slight pressure he was putting on the injured area felt like fire, a reminder of how much he had been through. He grunted with each rep, sweat dripping down his forehead as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. “Fucking Matt,” he muttered under his breath, anger simmering just below the surface as thoughts of Rhea’s ex consumed him.

Meanwhile, Rhea sat across from her therapist, the room softly lit and filled with a calming ambiance. “So, how are you doing?” the therapist asked, her voice gentle but probing.

Rhea hesitated for a moment before replying, “I’m doing good, I guess.”

The therapist nodded, encouraging her to delve deeper. “Remember, this isn’t about giving the ‘right’ answer. Let’s explore how Demi is really feeling with everything going on.”

Rhea sighed, looking down at her hands. “It’s just… with Jey and everything, I keep having these nightmares. I see him getting shot again, and it feels so real. I wake up in a panic, my heart racing. It’s like I can’t escape it.”

“Those nightmares sound very distressing,” the therapist replied, concern etched on her face. “It’s understandable given the trauma you’ve experienced. Have you been able to talk to Jey about it?”

Rhea shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to add to his stress. He’s already dealing with so much with his recovery. I feel like I should be strong for him.”

“It’s important to remember that sharing your fears can help both of you,” the therapist said gently. “Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to express them. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.”

Rhea nodded, a tear escaping her eye as she tried to process the weight of her emotions. “I just want him to be okay. I want us to be okay.”

As Jey continued his workout, pushing through the pain and frustration, he couldn’t shake the feeling of rage he had toward Matt. The past lingered in his mind, intertwining with his present as he fought to recover, knowing Rhea was struggling too. He gritted his teeth and pushed harder, channeling his anger into the exercises, hoping to emerge stronger for both of them.

Rhea sat up straighter, wiping her eyes as she took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mother,” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “It’s something I’ve always wanted, especially now that Jey and I are together. But with everything that’s happened… I just don’t know if I’m ready.”

The therapist nodded, encouraging her to continue. “What concerns you most about becoming a mother?”

“I worry about how I’ll handle everything,” Rhea confessed. “The nightmares are getting worse, and I’m scared they’ll affect me in ways I don’t understand. What if I can’t protect my kid? What if something happens to Jey? I don’t want to pass my trauma onto them.”

“Those are valid concerns,” the therapist replied. “It’s important to recognize that the symptoms of PTSD, such as nightmares and hypervigilance, can impact not just you but also your relationships and future parenting. Have you discussed these fears with Jey?”

Rhea shook her head. “No, I don’t want to burden him. He’s already dealing with his recovery and everything else. I keep thinking about our future together, and I want it to be healthy and stable, but I can’t help but wonder if we’re just setting ourselves up for failure.”

“Building a healthy relationship after experiencing trauma can be challenging,” the therapist stated. “Have you both considered couples therapy? It could provide a safe environment for both of you to explore these feelings and enhance communication.”

“I don’t know,” Rhea admitted, her brow furrowing. “I’m scared to open up about all this. What if it drives us apart? What if he doesn’t want to deal with my baggage?”

“Communication is key,” the therapist emphasized. “Creating a safe space where you can express your fears and desires is crucial. Acknowledging your struggles together could strengthen your bond rather than weaken it. Couples therapy may help you both learn to navigate these challenges.”

Rhea thought for a moment, biting her lip as she contemplated the therapist’s words. “I guess I just feel like I’m constantly on edge. I want to be there for Jey, but I’m terrified of the past repeating itself. The PTSD—it feels like a heavy weight I can’t shake off.”

“Finding healthy coping mechanisms is essential for managing PTSD symptoms,” the therapist suggested. “You might explore grounding techniques, mindfulness exercises, or even journaling to help process your emotions and manage anxiety. Therapy can also equip you with strategies to cope with the nightmares.”

“I just want us to be okay,” Rhea said, her voice cracking slightly. “I want a future with Jey, but sometimes it feels like we’re fighting against everything that’s happened. I don’t want to keep living in fear.”

“Your fears are understandable,” the therapist reassured her. “Working through trauma takes time and effort, but it is possible to achieve healing. It’s important to be patient with yourself and recognize that you’re not alone in this process.”

Rhea took a deep breath, feeling a flicker of hope amidst her swirling emotions. “I just want to give my future kids a life free from fear,” she murmured, her heart aching with the weight of her dreams and fears.

“You can start by taking small steps towards healing,” the therapist encouraged. “Focus on what you can control and prioritize self-care. Remember, it’s okay to seek help, both for yourself and in your relationship. Healing is a journey, and you are stronger than you realize.”

As Jey pushed through another set of exercises, a sudden stabbing pain jolted through his shoulder, causing him to drop the barbell in frustration. The clang of metal on the floor echoed ominously in the gym, but he was too far gone to care. Fueled by rage and pain, he picked up the barbell and hurled it at the mirror, shattering the glass into a spiderweb of cracks.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” he screamed, his voice piercing through the stereo blasting music in the background. The sound of his anguish hung in the air, heavy and hurt.

Trinity, who had just walked in, froze at the sight of the destruction. “Jey! What happened?” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with concern.

Jey struggled to catch his breath, the adrenaline coursing through him. As he tried to process what he had just done, he felt the weight of his actions settle over him like a fog. Jon appeared moments later, quickly turning off the stereo, the abrupt silence feeling deafening. He walked over to Jey, who was still caught in a whirlwind of emotions.

“Calm down, Jey. Focus,” Jon urged, placing a steadying hand on his shoulder. But Jey was trapped in a tunnel vision, his mind racing, unable to escape the storm of anger and frustration.

“Hey,” Jon said softly, breaking through the chaos in Jey’s mind. “Rhea… she’s still here, alive, and she is at therapy. Jey… look at me.”

Finally, Jey blinked his eyes, the moment of clarity allowing him to meet Jon’s gaze. But without a word, he abruptly turned and left the gym, the weight of everything crashing down on him.

He dashed into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he felt the remnants of tunnel vision begin to loosen its grip. His heart raced, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain control.

In that moment of darkness, Jey concentrated on happy thoughts—memories that grounded him. Rhea, with her infectious laughter and playful spirit. The laughter of his children, Jeyce and Jaciyah, as they played together. The bond he shared with Jon and Trinity, the strength of their family. Joe and Joseph, the way they supported him through thick and thin. Cody and Damian, the shared laughter and camaraderie that always lifted his spirits.

“I love you Jey..”

“Dad you’re the best!”

“Here with my brother in law, the IC champ, Main Event Jey Uso!”

“Didn’t I tell you? This is what greatness feels like! The promise land!!”

“I am not saying Yeet! My Solo character does not say Yeet Uce’…”

“I can’t wait to marry you Jey..”

With each happy thought, he felt the fog begin to clear. Jey took deep breaths, focusing on the rhythm of his inhale and exhale. Slowly, the sharp edges of his anger began to dull, and the warmth of those memories flooded back, calming his racing heart.

After what felt like an eternity, he opened his eyes and met his own gaze in the mirror. The reflection staring back was still filled with pain, but there was also resilience. He could get through this—he had to. For Rhea, for his children, and for the family he cherished.

Taking one last deep breath, Jey resolved to face whatever awaited him outside the bathroom. He was stronger than his pain, and he wouldn’t let it define him. With a newfound determination, he pushed open the door, ready to confront the chaos he had left behind.

As Jey stepped out of the bathroom, Jon was waiting for him, concern etched across his face. Without hesitation, he pulled Jey into a tight hug. “Come here,” he murmured, leading him into his master bedroom.

Once inside, Jon closed the door behind them, creating a space just for them—a bubble of safety amidst the chaos. “Talk to me,” he urged, his voice steady and comforting.

Jey took a deep breath, the weight of everything pressing down on him. “I was working out,” he began, trying to piece together the sequence of events. “Everything was fine until I suddenly got this intense pain in my arm. I dropped the barbell, and then… it’s like I just lost it. Tunnel vision kicked in, and I couldn’t see anything else.”

Jon nodded, absorbing Jey’s words. “You’ve been through a lot lately,” he said softly. “Maybe you should consider seeing a therapist. I know it sounds cliché, but it could really help you process everything—especially after what happened with Rhea and your injury.”

Jey shifted uncomfortably, the idea of therapy making him feel vulnerable. “I don’t know, Jon. I’ve always been the one to push through. I don’t want to be seen as weak.”

“Jey,” Jon said firmly, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It takes strength to admit when you need support. You’ve been dealing with physical pain and emotional trauma. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Jey looked down, contemplating Jon’s words. Deep down, he knew his brother was right. The past few months had been a rollercoaster of emotions, and bottling everything up wasn’t doing him any favors. “I just don’t want to burden anyone,” he finally admitted.

“You’re not a burden,” Jon reassured him. “We’re family. We look out for each other. You’ve been there for me through everything, and I want to be there for you now. If you think therapy could help, I’ll support you. And I’ll even go with you if you want.”

Jey glanced up at Jon, feeling a swell of gratitude. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I’ll think about it.”

“Just promise me you’ll consider it,” Jon replied, his tone gentle yet firm. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just take it one step at a time.”

“Okay,” Jey agreed, feeling a bit lighter. “I’ll think about it.”

Jon smiled, giving Jey one last squeeze before stepping back. “Now, how about we get some fresh air? Maybe a walk? It might help clear your head.”

Jey nodded, grateful for Jon’s support. As they headed out of the room, he felt a flicker of hope. Maybe facing his struggles didn’t mean he was weak; perhaps it meant he was ready to heal.

After a long walk, Jon and Jey finally reached Sanders Beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore provided a soothing backdrop as they found a spot to sit on the warm sand. The sun was bright and showing a hue over the ocean even though it was mildly cold, and the brothers settled into a comfortable silence, reflecting on their past.

“You remember all those summers we spent here as kids?” Jon asked, glancing over at Jey. “We would build sandcastles and run around like maniacs.”

“Yeah,” Jey chuckled, a nostalgic smile creeping onto his face. “And we’d always try to catch crabs, but they’d get away every time. Dad was always like ‘we are never coming to Pensacola cause you don’t know how to act right’. Good times.”

As they reminisced about their childhood adventures, the conversation shifted to their early days in WWE. “It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?” Jon said. “We were just a couple of kids with big dreams.”

“Yeah, we were so hungry to prove ourselves,” Jey replied, shaking his head. “I remember how nervous I was during my first match. But you were right there, pushing me to do my best.”

“I had to keep you on your toes,” Jon laughed. “But seriously, it’s crazy to think how far we’ve come since then.”

As the laughter faded, Jon’s expression turned serious. He turned to Jey, searching for the right words. “When did you first realize you were in love with Rhea?”

Jey’s gaze drifted out to the water, the waves reflecting his inner turmoil. He took a deep breath, contemplating the question. “You know, it’s kind of fucked up,” he started, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “Because I was always like, ‘I love my wife. I love Takecia. I would never leave her.’ But when Rhea told me no that night she vacated her title, that’s when it hit me. I realized I had fallen in love with her.”

He paused, the weight of his words settling between them. “It hurt when she said she chose Matt. I remember seeing those pictures and spiraling into a deep depression. I wanted to leave Takecia right then and there, but Rhea was gone. At that point, I was selfish for staying with Takecia.”

Jon listened intently, his heart heavy with his brother’s pain. “And then when Rhea returned and came to my hotel room that night, I said, ‘Fuck it,’ and I went all in. Somewhere along the line, we just got closer. But then I kept thinking about my kids and pushed Rhea away for a bit. And then I found out she was pregnant—and it’s mine. I think after that, I was just trying to figure out the right way to divorce Takecia.”

Jon put a hand on Jey’s shoulder, feeling the turmoil that his brother had endured. “That’s a lot to carry, Jey. You’ve been through so much. But you have to remember that you deserve to be happy too. It’s okay to prioritize your own feelings and the love you have for Rhea.”

Jey nodded, appreciating Jon’s support. “I know. It’s just hard, you know? I want to make sure my kids are taken care of, but I also don’t want to lose the love I have for Rhea. It feels like I’m caught in the middle of everything.”

“You’ll find a way through this,” Jon said confidently. “You’re stronger than you think. Just take it one step at a time.”

As the sun shined, Jey felt a sense of clarity washing over him. He knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but with Jon by his side, he felt more equipped to navigate the challenges that lay ahead. “Thanks for always being here, Jon. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Always, brother,” Jon replied, a proud smile on his face. “We’re in this together.”

[livslunaticdamiansdisciple18]

My Oh My- Jimmy Uso

Jimmy Uso x Savannah Morgan

Warnings: Smut, 18+!!!!

Word Count: 754

A/N: This is the next fic in the M.O.M (My Oh My) series. I hope you enjoy it. Let's get into it.

Savannah had been dreaming of wrestling at WrestleMania for the longest time. Her popularity has finally taken off after she debuted and after she’d been seen training with legends like The Undertaker. She never thought she'd be able to wrestle in front of thousands of people at WrestleMania. It was like her dreams were coming true!

No one knew who she had feelings for or more importantly who she was dating. If they had they might have assumed that was how she got such a huge push in the wrestling world. Savannah wasn't a push over by any means but she would let that man do things to her that the men she had dated before could only have dreamed of! The way he took her for another round on the dining room table after dinner, eating her pussy like she was his last meal, bending over the table and pulling her arms behind her back "who's pussy is this?" He said, letting go of one arm and grabbing her hair "answer me!" He'd growl and she'd scream for him to fuck her harder. "What's my name baby?"

"Savannah, are you ready to go?" One of the crew member said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm ready to go!" She smiled knowing that he was gonna be out there but she had to keep herself together and not let him know she was missing him.  She couldn't give him the satisfaction.

She'd done this a million times before, wrestling in front of thousands of people but he was never around to see it and now her heart was pounding. Was he gonna tease her while she was in the ring wrestling in front of thousands of people?  All she could do was wait. But she had a plan. They had both discussed how they were gonna announce they were a couple and she came up with an idea. After she was done with her match she was supposed to say "No Yeet" and he was gonna come up and give her a kiss but knowing him like she did he would always change shit at the last minute.

"Here we go!" she said, psyching herself up. She walked out to the ring with a smile. She'd had her clothes custom made. She wanted something sexy but something that she could move around easily in and the designers had made the perfect ensemble!

She heard her opponent's entrance and the cheer of the audience.

"You got this Savannah! You could take her down. You’ve been training with legends for gods sake. You can do it!" Scanning around the audience for him she found him just before the bell rang "Everything’s good right? They have to catch you if they can!" She winked at him. "There he is “Main Event” Jim Uso. He’s also my man.

This match was her favorite because she could tease him and he couldn't do anything about it... Yet!

"Come on! 1, 2, 3 ref" Her voice said, annoyed as her opponent kept kicking out. As she winked at him again he adjusted in his seat trying to hide the bulge that was forming. He was gonna make her beg him later. She looked sexy as fuck in that outfit! He wanted to jump in the ring and take her right there not caring who saw but this was a family show /event  and he couldn't. "1, 2, 3. Yes I’m the new Women’s World Champion" she said directly to him watching him lick his lips. "Yes. That training and me constantly putting in the work paid off. '' As the match finished and the crowd cheered she prepared herself for what was to follow. Taking a deep breath she put the microphone to her lips and yelled "Wrestlemania!!" Giving a pause for cheers "NO YEET!!" Everyone in the crowd cheered and up the ramp he walked to her grabbing her in his embrace and kissing her in front of thousands of people.

"Jimmy Uso is dating Savannah Morgan. The new Women’s World Champion" Michael Cole said through the announcer's mic.

She lowered the microphone and felt the tickle of his beard against her ear "MINE" he growled making her bite her lip.

"That was an amazing match baby girl" he said admiring her performance "But that outfit" he growled in her ear "is coming off later! I'm gonna make sure we leave our DNA all over the hotel room!" She lightly punched his arm and they left the arena.

-I hope you guys enjoyed this! I had fun writing it. I love you guys so so so so so much. <33333

[amusingmusie]

The Demon! Nel asks have my brain exploding with cheesy ideas, I swear. She'd make fun of his hair cut, and he'd spend an inordinate amount of time making his little shadow trip her every time she walks down stairs.

She'd have his demonic brain so divided that he'd probably phase himself across hell just because she was talking to someone other than him. Alastor being very "I'm uncomfortable when you're not about me" with Nel is my favorite!

My silly little idea:

"What are you doing here." Her voice dripping with annoyance as the sinner she had been discussing the acid rain forecast with launched away from them in a desperate attempt to flee from swirling mass of black and green that just manifested itself behind her.

"Oh, what a surprise! I didn't see you there, my sweetest of evils. I have some business in this part of Hell and really, I can't be late. And now you're in my way, you do so enjoy being a huge inconvenience!" (There's no reason for him to be there. He just literally yeeted himself so hard and fast across the map to interrupt their conversation. He'd be panting if he wasn't gritting his teeth together so hard.)

For you, anon :))

THIS IS FOR FUN ONLY AND NOT CANON TO YOURS TRULY

Five O'clock Somewhere (But Not Here)

Nel heads to the bar to get a damn drink, grumpy as ever and in desperate need of cheap booze. It won't get her drunk, but it will allow her a reprieve from Alastor's insidious presence that seems to trail her wherever she goes in this shitty building. The Hazbin Hotel is a fitting name for such a rundown crapshack, though she feels that the Shithole Inn would work just as well.

The second she crosses from red carpet to green floorboards she can taste newfound freedom- until there's a hum of radio static that pitches in her ears, causing her to hiss and scowl as a familiar shadow materializes right inside of her personal bubble.

Alastor pops into existence practically on top of her, eternal yellow grin widening as his crimson eyes crinkle in pure malicious delight.

“Sweetheart! There you are. I noticed a lack of your terrible black cloud tainting my radio tower and just had to find you- I can’t have you running off on me.” A clawed finger reaches out to bop her nose, but she dodges out of the way with a growl. “I see you’ve decided to curse the parlor with your dreary disposition instead. How delightfully horrific!”

“The only curse here is you.”

There’s a loud incorrect buzzer that sounds from his staff. “Wrong, I am the host of the hotel! So close.”

“Host, pest, plague, same difference to me,” Nel snaps before attempting to brush past him. “Move your boney ass, I’m getting a drink.”

“This early in the day?” Alastor steps right back in front of her to block her from escaping. “Why, it’s hardly past noon.”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

“Well, if you’re so insistent that it’s a drink you’re after, I’ll prepare it for you.”

“Jesus, the fucking bar cat is right there!”

Said bar cat flips her the bird as he downs his fifth whiskey of the hour. As much as it stings her pride, Nel attempts to smooth things over by awkwardly quirking up the side of her lips in a strained smile- she needs an ally here.

Husk blinks one droopy eye at a time, decides this shit isn't worth it, then grabs his precious bottle and shuffles away from the bar out of the lobby.

Well. Shit.

The radio asshole laughs down at her, “Scotch on the rocks, dear?”

“I’d prefer a lobotomy.”

Using his microphone to herd her towards a worn bar stool, he hardly bats an eye as she tries to snatch it out of his hands. “Perhaps over dinner this evening, if you’re a well behaved little harpy."

Nel refuses to reply; she groans and lays her head down onto the sticky bartop, gluing her bangs to the sugar-stained wood.

Eternity has never seemed so fucking long.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fluffy Smut (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

After the birthday stream (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: The events that may have occured after Dan's birthday charity stream;) Starts of with fluff but ends up in a steamy hot shower

all I want to do is all of it with you (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil are going to stay late at the rehearsal venue to...film. Yeah.

As He Comes, So I Come (ao3) - cloej88

Summary: Dan and Phil have just returned from Chicago, where they finally sorted themselves out. They’ve slept a full ten hours under their own roof, and now they have an uninterrupted afternoon to rediscover one another’s bodies.

Buffy Movie Nights are Life Changing (ao3) - angelicsam

Summary: Things get steamy between Dan and Phil during their nighttime Buffy streaming session in 2010; featuring a confident yet bashful Phil and a shy Dan who learns how to drive Phil crazy.

Burning Bibles (ao3) - cherryheartz

Summary: phil lester loved curly headed boys with tattoos on their arms and a joint made with torn bible pages between their soft lips.

and dan howell was exactly that.

Dan and Phil Take Each Other's Clothes Off (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!) (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Dan and Phil play dress-up based off Dan's one dailybooth

Dan stops and stares at him, “You did not just tell me a red panda fact while we are having sex.”

“They can also glow in the dark.”

Despite everything it's still you (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Dan's just got home from tour, they've missed each other

Dick pancakes and other declarations of love (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: a series of vignettes as I imagine them on Valentine's day

disco stick (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick,” Phil sings into the microphone connected to the Xbox. It’s slightly off-rhythm, and he grins and stares right at Dan as he continues onto the next lyric. “I want to take a ride on your disco stick.”

(A fic based on the moment from “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4” where DnP mention they’ve sung LoveGame countless times on an old karaoke video game.)

Don't Blame Me (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: When Phil gets a new job at the Tops Only Bar, he's just looking to make ends meet over the holiday period. He doesn't expect how he'll feel about one of the performers or how hard that'll make his job.

eager for you (ao3) - philsbisexuallion (bisexual_lightning)

Summary: Phil's been waiting all night for Dan to push him up against a wall and fuck him senseless. He finally gets what he wants.

(a self-indulgent ftm t4t smut fic; warning for use of the word "slut" in a degrading way)

et in saecula saeculorum (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: Phil is the Duke of Lancaster, Dan is a knight, they have been performing intricate rituals, Dan said “as you wish,” the rest is history. Enjoy.

fall in love again and again (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: Two days into their holiday while lounging by the villa pool that they rented out for the week to ensure maximum privacy, Dan has a thought:

I’m going to marry this boy.

here come the dreams of you and (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: So he and Dan are a thing now. Phil doesn’t really know what thing they are but it’s something he knows he wants to hold onto and never let go.

"I'm a big fan of tops" (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Set immediately after filming the keep or yeet Phil's closet video.

Dan gets hot and bothered after watching Phil take his clothes off over and over again.

in this smoking chaos (ao3) - writingcollective

Summary: Dan bottoms for the first time, not being able to shut down his inner demons that whisper internalised homophobic thoughts into his ear. But Phil guides him through it, somehow.

james joint (ao3) - phook

Summary: dan and phil are gross and have been in love for 15 yrs and get high while visiting la for tit

Keep My Hand In Yours (ao3) - totalincandescense

Summary: It was kind of just an unspoken rule of their relationship. At least one part of Phil’s body had to be touching Dan at all times or it would throw the balance of the universe.

more than words (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan can't find words and Phil can't shut the fuck up, but there are other ways to communicate

phlondes do it better (ao3) - wearealldoomed

Summary: The day has come around quicker than Phil had anticipated.

The day where Phil dips his toes back into the waters of dyeing his hair after months of letting his natural hair colour grow back through.

The day where Phil goes platinum blonde without confronting Dan about it first.

Please Don't Say You Love Me (Cause I Might Not Say It Back) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan's not very good at hiding his emotions during hookups.

based on this tweet: "got so used to saying "I love you" when I was having sex with my ex that I'm out here fighting for my life to not say it on accident with a hookup"

Precious (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: dnp have intimate lazy sex or whatever the fuck made people so mad on twitter. ( I didn't write the post, I'm just using it as a prompt)

Their first night on holiday.

Precious baby angel (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Dan and Phil buy matching precious baby angel shirts because they’re gay and in love. Dan shows Phil how much he likes the shirt on his angel 💖

Precious Baby Angel (ao3) - toadsappho

Summary: Phil shows Dan his new t-shirt, but that's not the only surprise he has for him.

Réponds à Ma Tendresse (ao3) - Blorbiron

Summary: Dan is visiting, and that’s Phil’s absolute favorite thing ever- which is kind of sad, maybe, for someone he’s known for like two months, but he can’t be bothered to care. Because Dan’s sitting right on his bed, close enough to touch, and cackling whenever Phil dies in Crash Bandicoot. Which is a lot.

sativa (i said im ready) (ao3) - catbearbunz (bunnieovadamoon)

Summary: it’s 2009, and phil really wishes dan would call. he does, but he comes greener than expected.

aka they get drunk and high and have esex.

Sheets and sharpies (ao3) - wwoodles

Summary: “Are you going to be good for me?”

He hovered above Dan’s face, awaiting his response. Dan was always taken aback that Phil had this power in him. The ability to completely disarm him.

“Yes, Father.”

Or, in the moments after the end of Dan’s birthday stream, Dan is not only incredibly grateful for Phil, but also incredibly horny.

so american (ao3) - ae121

Summary: Phil has been living in London for a year and thinks he's gotten pretty used to the city. He works part-time at a bookstore, using it at first to gain some friends, now it's just fun for him. His friends are constantly trying to find him someone to date, but all of his dates don't go well.

Well, that's until he met Dan.

Something Unholy (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil receives some very surprising and seductive texts in the middle of the night.

Stay With Me (ao3) - blehmobile

Summary: Dan and Phil are flatmates, and they occasionally flirt. They agree that it is very normal to bathe with friends. Totally no tension at all.

sunkissed (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: Maybe Phil was made to pour warmth into this man and leave little marks all over his body the way the sun does when it covers his skin with freckles. Maybe everything they’ve ever done and every little way they’ve loved each other has culminated in this very moment, where they can hardly see each other in the low light but are still brighter than the yellow light that breaks through the sky and glitters on the ocean.

Or, Dan and Phil go on holiday, and every photo they take tells a story.

true rat and relaxation time (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: Two gays on holiday, inspired by their recent video.

when the train came it was so big and powerful (ao3) - r1caner

Summary: It is 2009, and things are going to change. Dan thinks so, anyway.

a dnp fic for the 15th 19th of october.

You and Me (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Birthday sex after Dan's birthday livestream

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Phil is gifted with a "Mega Dilf" shirt. Guess who picked that shirt out?

[zetomato]

QSMP The fated cursed team?

Alright, so it’s my time on the microphone I guess.

Without going deep into the reason why (since it’s not the focus), I have a love/hate relationship with Purgatory. It’s an incredible feat for the Admins with all the details in it as well as the events planning, we get to see new sides of the characters, but I hate competition games (when the win is crucial) and how CCs from every team had their “I genuinely am having a very frustrating and not nice time” for various reasons.

This in mind, I’ve been following the “WHO IS CURSED?” question from the start like almost everyone… But with a different viewpoint. See, I’m someone who does a lot of LARPs and Tabletop RPGs, I’ve been animator and dungeon master (I DM once each week right now) so I know well the “Let’s make a plan and see how the players work inside of it” I didn’t really plan on yeeting a big speech on Tumblr, but I’ve seen a lot of people take hypotheses as facts and got surprised. So let me break things up a little.

The base of a goal.

When you’re making an event/a game/a RPG with a “Someone is cursed”, there are some things you cannot do. Now, the events were planned and, therefore, they planned on the number of teams to go from 3 to 2 from the start. This cannot sustain a “One team is cursed” from the start. Why? Because you have no clue who will win and who will lose. Before the egg event, one could have said “Soulfire will lose because they have put little time on their base compared to the other teams.” You could have said “Bolas will lose because they aren’t the best PVPer and have less gear.” You could have said “Green Gay Ninjas will lose because Red and Blue will ally against them.” Heck, you could have said “No one will lose, they’re going to try to tie.” (All of those before the event even started) Anything could have happened. I, for one, did not expect for Red to win at the beginning of the day. And yet they did.

Ok, let’s back up now.

If a team was chosen as cursed from the start, the admins had at least three ways of making sure the event would last past the egg event.

Make the cursed team with strong-ass players so they had no chance to lose. (Uncertain technique, would be way more visible than what we had/have)

Make the cursed team with every single nerf you can so they’re so obviously cursed that the other teams make sure they stay alive. (A very sad idea, everyone would just already know who needed to win or maybe kill them thinking it was a red herring, again, no one truly fit that 100%)

One person is cursed and they aren’t “cursing” their team until it’s a 1v1 (and not a 1v1v1) (That’s the one that would work the most if the cursed team had been chosen from the start)

Herding cats

Now, as a DM, I’ve herded cats for years now, and here’s what I learned. If you want a precise outcome to your game, you will have to use the three doors trick. Basically, you put your players in front of a choice of doors and whichever door they choose will lead to the room you wanted them to see next. It makes no sense to shoot yourself in the foot and leave the direction of your story entirely to your players if you know it needs to end in X number of games with a specific scene. This doesn’t mean there couldn’t be a cursed team right now, but with all they set up (the nuke, the ‘If they die everyone dies’, etc.) my DM brain is telling me that the cursed team will be chosen narratively at the end while giving meat to the bones of hints we got.

Alright, for the “Cursed team hints” now.

So, one of the most looked at things for the hints were the eggs messages. Let’s break those down quickly. I do not believe one can say “MESSAGES ARE CLUE” without taking ALL OF THEM as a clue.

“No matter what… Protect Tallulah.” Now, this message, like all others, can be read multiple ways. The first one could be about the only Tallulah we actually saw on the island (well, part of her likeness at least), the statue. This one was Red’s statue. So one could say that Red need to win, aka, they are the cursed team. But, you can also read it as “Tallulah will show up later on and she needs to be protected first and foremost.”*

“Nothing is off the table, run over whoever you need to win.” Well, this one, yes, also has more than one possible meaning. The first and most obvious would be “BBH and his team needs to win at all cost.” would fit, would make sense. But it could also be read as “The final choice will be hard, you need to make sure all the residents need to win.” All is a question of point of view. None of these ways to read it are wrong, which, I think, is the point.*

“Dads you won't believe it, it isn't fireflies on the sky run and don't stop” (translated message) This is the most hazy of them all. What vibe this one gives me is - especially since there are some of Richas’ parents in every team - about a future moment. Maybe a final event on the 18th. Another way to read it could be a warning about mobs. It seems less likely, but some mobs in Purgatory turn invisible after someone hits them, leaving only two white dots as eyes. This one is a stretch but my back needs it.*

One message (chayanne) reads more as a Red Team is Cursed. One message (Dapper) reads more as Blue Team is Cursed. * But you know how else you can read any of these three egg messages? Very cool one liners to bring up the hype about an upcoming event. (but they’re cooler as clues)

The wheel

The wheel is very much uncertain for me, mostly because I don’t think Tubbo was even meant to roll it. At least, definitely not when he did. He glitched through barrier blocks to reach it and then lava was dropped in a “Player get the heck out goddamnit you know you weren’t supposed to be there” way. (As a DM, I know that vibe. No, bard, you cannot SEDUCE MY GODDAMN DRAGON) Now, was he supposed to later? Maybe, I don’t know, but basing a lot of things on that, especially while ignoring that Slime (Red) and Roier (Green) were also there and could have been the ones rolling it doesn’t seem like a fair assessment.

The tickets.

So there’s another thing that is wild to me. They used the tickets to join purgatory, and only Red had the fancy ones. I would have said “Oh well it’s part of the bit to have slime on Charlie’s or feathers on Phil’s”, but the sparkles on Vegetta and the cat on Wil’s seem to pass way more of a message. Now, the one person who wasn’t in Red with a fancy ticket isn’t even in Purgatory Aka Quackity. ElQuackity wasn’t on the train with the rest, he appeared there, but also, it’s canon that he definitely isn’t Quackity and wants the eggs dead. I must say, the tickets seem like the most palpable clue we have linked to Purgatory but I do not know if it means they are or aren’t the cursed team. That could go either way.

Of course I was going to mention Tubbo so here it is.

In Escape Rooms, Tubbo would be what we call a wild card. It’s someone who grabs the information and tries to make all the possible links between everything. Those people are very useful when others are stuck trying to follow narrow logic or trying to give more difficulty to a riddle than what it needs. It’s an extremely important job since they can make the intrigue suddenly make sense. The thing, though, is that 80% of what a wild card says is in the array of “I’ve connected the dots” “You didn’t connect shit” “I connected them”. They will make sense of things that aren’t supported enough to be certain. Purgatory doesn’t help with both team’s heavy biases towards themselves, which they both have. Tubbo said a lot of stuff and made them make sense one way. But he also ignored the others (understandably, again, everyone biased) and ignored parts of clues he had access to. The man cooked, but it doesn’t mean that the meal is consumable yet.

Then, what?

Bottom line, no one gave us any clue of what could be a sign of a cursed team. We do not know what to even look for. What does a cursed team look like? What hint is for the curse and what is for something else? Everyone, watchers and CCs, are grasping at things, hoping it’s the right one. In my humble opinion, I think that there are hints, but they are versatile enough that the eye guy could choose any team and announce it as the cursed one at the end, bringing up some hints in link to that team and backing them up with new Lore so it becomes “obvious”. This would be my DM way at least. It would give the hazy hints meaning on any possible team when the time is right. Make the people believe hints were there for the final answer all along and not notice that there were just as many hints going the other way.

TL:DR; There is no clear definition yet about what is a cursed team other than what happens if they die. Many hints we have are uncertain and fit more than one team. The DnD Dungeon Master way that the admins seem to follow so everyone has fun might only choose a cursed team upon the last day so Lore can happen in the most narrative way possible. It would avoid any randomness players bring.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - fifty-seven | five yeets deep

The whole group had Keeho’s stream up on their screens. It was his room, empty, with his chair and microphone set up in front of the camera. You all began humming Pomp and Circumstance, as Keeho entered the room in the background. He opened the door, T-posed awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, walked into the room and closed the door behind him. He stood, purposefully awkwardly for another moment, before walking over to his desk and sitting in the chair and putting his headphones on.

You all cheered.

“Woo!”

“Yeah!”

“It’s our boy!”

“Our boy is back!”

Keeho pretended to shush you in a solemn way.

“Yoon Keeho,” you said, effecting a reporter’s voice, “how do you feel about JUPiTER’s combined seven music show wins from this comeback?”

Keeho pulled one of the Music Bank awards towards him from where it was hidden from the camera and pretended to get choked up.

“He has one!” Yeji shouted and started laughing.

“MuBank!” San yelled.

“Ooooh,” Mick and Bracken said together.

“Show off,” Ryujin laughed.

“If you win, you might as well flaunt,” Keeho said as he dabbed at the no tears he had on his face with an imaginary handkerchief.

You laughed.

“But yeah, it’s actually really cool we won so many. The producers worked really hard in making us some amazing songs, the choreographers and dancers worked really hard making choreos that made us look good, the staff worked really hard with our costumes and hair and makeup and getting us where we needed to be and making sure were taking care of ourselves in the flurry of it all, and we took all that and worked really hard to bring the fans something they would love. And then our fans worked so hard voting and streaming and coming out at 1am to see the recordings and cheer for us… We’re all really proud of all of us and how we did, I think our wins were well deserved and extremely appreciated.”

“Do you get to keep the award Keeho?” Yeji asked.

“No, I have to give it back to my manager tomorrow so they can put it in the case at the company.” He put it back out of the camera’s view.

“They put all the awards in one case?” 

“Yeah, each artist or group has a case and they put any awards you win in it. Our dance team has a huge case actually, since they win so many contests.”

“That’s really cool.”

“Oh yeah, they totally deserve it. They’re called To The Beat and you should check out their youtube channel.” He winked and fingergunned at the camera.

“We’re all super proud of you, big guy.” You said.

“As my oldest and bestest friend, that means a lot, Cat.”

“It better.” 

He laughed. “Now, can you introduce me to the new guy?”

“Oh!” You said. “Keeho, this is Morn. MorningStar. I asked him to stream while you were away during your comeback.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” San said.

“Mhm, mhm.” Keeho nodded. “And what is this, you talk to boys now?”

“I’m talking to you, dumbass.” You said.

“I’m telling your parents that you’re meeting boys.”

“Tell them I met you, stupid.”

“Should I leave the stream?” San asked.

“Don’t pay attention to him, Morn, he’s an idiot.”

Keeho jokingly slammed his hands on his desk. “I don’t care how polite he is, he’s a boy!”

“I’m going to call your mom.”

Keeho’s eyes went wide and the other group members laughed.

“Anyway, so what games do we have lined up?”

“Yeet!”

“Yeet!”

“Yeet!”

“Yeet!”

“Yeet!”

“That’s it. The stream is out of control,” Ryujin said. “We are five minutes into this game and are already five Yeets deep.”

You laughed and hit the button to flip the table again. “Yeet!”

“Stop flipping the table! We’re not getting anywhere!” She yelled.

“I can’t believe you guys planned virtual board games for my return stream.” Keeho said.

“I can’t believe you’d think we’d plan anything else.” Mick retorted.

“Touché.”

“Touchy,” Bracken said, flipping the table.

Ryujin’s icon lit up as you heard her sigh loudly.

“Maybe we should take it easy on our lovely hostess, everyone.” San suggested.

“Maybe…” Keeho trailed off as the table reset and then flipped again. You knew he was the one who did it.

You all laughed again.

“Yeji, what are you doing?” Mick asked. “You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“Playing Lost Ark on another screen.” Bracken gasped. “During our game of Cluedo?”

“Clue.” Keeho corrected.

“Stephen, I will not have--”

“Not again.” You said.

“Are we really playing the game, Bracken? Or have you all been flipping the table since we started and we haven’t even handed all the clue cards out yet?” Ryujin asked.

“Cluedo,” Bracken corrected.

“I meant the cards have clues on them--”

“They are clues, Bracken,” Keeho said forcefully. “Not ‘cluedos’.”

You still had the streams of the members who used webcams - Keeho, Mick, and Bracken - up and you laughed as you watched Bracken widen his eyes and sighed incredulously.

“You can’t just just not call the game by its name, Keeho.”

“Umm, I am calling it by its name, Bracken? It’s called Clue.”

“Mate, it’s from the UK and it’s called Cluedo.”

“What about you, Mick? You’re from the US and moved to Australia, which do you call it?”

Dead air for a second and then Mick said, “...No entiendo.”

“Why is it even called ‘Cluedo’ anyway?” San asked. “My English isn’t great, but that’s not a word, right?”

“I’m looking it up,” you said. 

One of the reasons you were thankful to have Keeho in your life is that, as someone who lived in Canada when he was younger, he was invaluable when it came to high school English classes. Teachers thought you put a ton of time into studying when really, it was just that you had a friend who was fluent in English. And that wasn’t a fact that was known to many, since he didn’t want to be bothered by people who wanted to be his friend because they thought he could do their English homework for them, in addition to the people who were already bothering him because they wanted to be friends with an idol trainee. It was easy enough for you to open google and type ‘Why is it called Cluedo’ in english. You opened a link and scrolled for an answer as Keeho and Bracken continued to argue.

“Huh.” You said.

“What?” San asked.

 “I honestly didn’t expect an answer like this: apparently the word ‘Cluedo’ is a portmanteau of ‘clue’ and ‘ludo.’”

“What’s ‘ludo’?” Yeji asked.

“‘Ludo’ is the latin word for ‘play’, and the title ‘Cluedo’ is supposed to mean that you use the clues to play the game and solve the mystery.”

“Huh.” Mick said.

“Or you flip the table a million times and don’t even start.” Ryujin said.

“Or that,” you chuckled.

The table flipped.

“Cat, if that was you--!” Ryujin yelled.

You laughed. “It wasn’t! I was reading the thing! I would have said it if I did it!”

“Lowkey, kind of want to play Lost Ark with you, Yeji.” Ryujin said.

“Come play.” Yeji responded.

“Do you all mind if we leave to stream that?”

“I don’t mind.” You said.

Everyone else agreed.

“Before you go, Ryujin…”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t the one who flipped the table just then.”

“...I believe you.” She left.

“That’s because it was me,” Mick said and laughed evilly. Two seconds later, he laughed hysterically.

“What are you laughing at?” Bracken asked.

“Ryujin’s cursing me out in my chat.”

“Deserved.” San said.

“Yeah… most of the flips were me. I’m sorry Ryujin. I’ll host the game next time and you can flip the table on me.”

“I like how you avoided the name of the game that time,” Keeho said.

“Speaking of,” Bracken interjected, “I can’t play this game with a man who refuses to call it by its correct name.”

“Uh huh.” Keeho said. “If you look up the game it literally says ‘called Clue in North America’ on every single link. It’s almost like they did it themselves.”

“Do British people speak a lot of Latin that they’d know it’s ‘clue’ and ‘ludo’ together?” San asked innocently.

“Bracken?” You asked. “Thoughts?”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“You’re part of the Commonwealth, did you immediately know those were the words it was made from when you first saw or heard the title?”

Silence.

“You there?”

Di-Dng!

“Did he just leave?!” You yelled.

Mick laughed. “He’s going ‘AHH!’ in the other room. I’ve never seen him this worked up about something before.”

“I win.” Keeho said.

“How did you win?” San asked.

“Did he really have a horse in the race for no reason?” You asked no one in particular.

San laughed.

“I’m going to get going, I think,” Mick said. “We actually have to take the dog to the vet tomorrow and that’s always a chore.”

“Shouldn’t have gotten a husky.”

Mick chuckled. “Yeah, I could do without the screaming. From both of them. But we’ll see you guys later.”

You all said bye and Mack left.

“So, what do we do now?” Keeho asked.

“Mmm…” You mused.

“...mmmmmMinecraft?” San asked.

“Yes!”

“I can’t believe you started playing Minecraft again,” Keeho said.

“Why?” 

“You were so bad at it,” he laughed.

“Hey!” You laughed. “I’ve gotten better.”

“I saw some of your streams, Cat: not by much.”

“Heyyy,” you pouted.

“She hasn’t done too bad,” San interjected. “She built a whole section of our house. Come look at it.”

San invited Keeho to the world the two of you shared and all of you hopped into it. Keeho spawned in a random spot and San sent him the coordinates, and suddenly Keeho was with the two of you in the house.

“Come see,” San’s avatar ran off and you and Keeho followed behind. Once you all made it outside, he ran over to the wing you built all on your own. “See?”

“Oh, wow, that’s actually pretty nice. Did you do it in Creation Mode or regular?”

“I did it in Regular.” You said proudly.

“Wow…” Keeho walked around the building for a bit.

“She worked really hard on it, you need to acknowledge that.” San said as Keeho looked around at the house.

Keeho walked back and looked at him for a second. “Yeah. You did a really good job, Cat.”

“Thank you.” You said.

San’s avatar turned to look at you and you wondered if it meant he was smiling at you. You smiled back reflexively, feeling a little silly as you did so since he couldn’t see it.

“We should find a group of bandits and fight them.” You said.

“Let’s go!” San said and ran off, You and Keeho following behind him.

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@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy •

[dansconcepts]

Quirky RC!Hajime - Talentsharer Drabble

Hajime sharing someone’s Ultimate if he touches them (or vice versa) would make SDR2 sillier, probably, and this is my evidence.

Behind The Scenes: “Ultimate Talentsharer? What the hell, that's not even a talent! How can you be good at something that's not even measurable?” Junko sighs. “No, fuck you, that's total bullshit! ...What? He's still able to share talents? What do you mean 'it's canon now'-?! Hey! Hey!” Manicured hands yeet her phone. “Ugh! He's supposed to be a normie, a basic bitch, just a regular fucking guy! What am I supposed to do now?!”

What is my talent? Hajime ponders to himself. The wind blows through the trees, caressing his face softly as he sighs, before turning to the white-haired guy next to him.

“You really want to help me figure out what my talent is?” 

Komaeda shrugs, a smile on his face. “Yes. I imagine it’ll be quite fun. I’m sure it’ll be a talent full of hope!”

Man, this guy is so nice. “Alright, but how do I start?”

The Lucky Student looks away for a second. “Hmm. Well, since we’re on the beach right now, maybe we could see if you’re the Ultimate Swimmer, or an athlete of some kind?”

Grayish eyes start roaming over his figure, studying him, and he can feels his face start to warm. He shakes it off. “I guess I’ll swim for a bit.” If only to stop myself from overheating. “You’re free to time me.”

He tosses his shirt off-

“Oh!”

Hajime blinks. “Is something wrong?”

“No, ahem, not at all, sorry.” He grins sheepishly. “I just didn't expect you to do that so suddenly.”

“Why? Do I look bad?” He frowns. Although he doesn't remember much, he does know he was pretty devoted to his exercise routine for a while in preparation for being a Hope's Peak student. But he didn't fill out in the way he was hoping for, so maybe... He looks down at himself.

From the corner of his eyes, he sees white hair swishing and hands moving as Komaeda frantically shakes his head. “No! I didn't mean anything like that! You have an amazing physique. I apologize that I even sounded like I was insinuating otherwise.”

'Physique'? Who says it like that? He huffs, amused, even though he can feel his chest puff with a little pride. With careful folds, he rests his shirt into a pink, as if sunburnt, Komaeda's hands. He's so pale, it makes sense he'd be red even with the breeze...

Hajime tips his toes into the water. The chill sends shockwaves through his body as he cringes at the sensation. He takes a deep breath and tries again. He starts walking in further and further, watching the water rise as he slowly submerges inside. While he's pretty sure he knows how to swim, he doesn't feel anything particularly special when he gets in.

Komaeda calls him back after a bit. “Well, you’re definitely fit, from the looks of it.” He grins. “But it still looked pretty average.”

Yeah, I figured as much. Hajime sighs.

“Oh, there's always more hope, Hinata! Why don't we try something else? Like...” He turns, before whipping back to him. “How about music?”

With that, they head to the Titty Typhoon for some instruments. On their way, Ibuki plows into Hajime.

“Oof!” He exclaims.

“Whoa whoa whoa!” The musician staggers on her feet, her arms flailing. Komaeda reaches out to steady her. “Thanks Nagi-chan! Sorry, Hajimeme!”

Hajime breathes. “It’s alright, Ibuki.”

“What are you in a rush for?” Nagito asks.

“Ibuki promised Kazu she’d help him with a playlist for one of his little machiney-sheens and she mayyyyyyy be running late!” She blurts out. “Sorry, gotta blast!”

She runs off. 

Hajime sighs. He can hear her frantic apologies to Souda. Guess he wasn’t that far. 

They keep going. You should escape, skip town / No more excuses / Abandon ship or drown / No more excuses. The song plays in his head. When they reach Titty Typhoon, him and Komaeda peruse the spare instruments available, with Nagito grabbing the microphone stand.

“A mic?” Hajime eyes it dubiously.

“You have a nice voice.” Komaeda comments.

“H-huh?” Shit, was I humming out loud?  

Nagito hums. “Maybe that’s your talent. How about you sing something?”

He definitely doesn't recall having much of an interest in singing or even doing it ever, so if he’s the Ultimate Singer, it sure would seem strange. But that guitar…

He picks it up and strums. He doesn’t remember owning a guitar, but he must have if he knows how to play it already. As if muscle memory kicks in, he starts playing opening notes and the words escape his mouth, singing along to the song previously in his head.

When he’s done, he steals a look at Nagito, who is looking at him with wide eyes. “Um, we already have an Ultimate Musician, so maybe you’re the Ultimate Guitarist? ...Trash like me’s opinion is useless though.”

Hajime presses on. “But what did you think?”

“I-” Nagito pauses. “I thought it was amazing. You have a really powerful voice.”

Hajime grins. Something in him feels the silliest urge to hug him. He ignores it, and just puts a hand on his shoulder instead. “Thanks.” 

“W-well again, I really-!”

“No. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have no idea what my talent could be. So thanks.”

Later on, Komaeda exits to grab Ibuki for a second opinion, and Hajime attempts to replicate his performance. He's on the stage again. It feels strange to be at the center, having pairs of eyes on him, even if it's just Komaeda and Ibuki.

The microphone feels foreign in his hands, the guitar even more so. This doesn't feel right anymore. What did he do earlier? Just move his hands on strings? He does that. Simultaneously, his voice cracks when he opens his mouth. He wants to evapourate into a damn puddle.

“It's okay if you're nervous, Hajimemey!” Ibuki yells, “I get those kind of jitters allllllll the time! What works for me is feeling the music!”

Yeah, just feel the music Hajime... “Haha, sorry.” He tries to laugh off. “Let me try again.”

This time, he starts gentle, singing first before grabbing onto the guitar. He strums, and-

SNAP!

The guitar string breaks. He barely even did anything!

Loud feedback starts playing on the speakers, and Ibuki yelps, covering her ears.

Komaeda immediately steps towards the speakers, yanking the plug off with a ferocity he didn't expect him to have. “Um. My apologies. It must have been my luck that caused the speakers to turn loud. Are you alright?” 

“I’m...” Horrified. “fine. I'm sorry, Ibuki. I even broke the guitar string too...”

The musician rubs at her ears. “Ah, Hajim-jim, it's all good! I'm just gonna go repair the guitar string. Ibuki just needs to find a spare.”

Hajime looks down, embarrassed at wasting her time. And oh, would you look at that? A white string is right next to him. How lucky. He grabs it, going, “Is this it?”

“WAH! Perfect! Thanks!” She grins, snatching it out of his hand. She grabs the broken guitar and immediately runs off again.

And he's left with Komaeda once more. He chuckles sheepishly. “...On second thought, maybe this isn’t my talent and just beginner’s luck?” 

“Undoubtedly.” The white-haired student shoots out. “Without a question.”

He barks out a laugh. God, was he really that bad? He reflects on it. No, yeah, he was pretty bad.

They go around, tidying the place with amicable silence.

Suddenly, loud sirens start blaring throughout the island. He whips to Komaeda, whose eyes are just as wide as his. They both immediately rush out. A flurry of movement is caught in the corner of his eye as he runs past, meeting most of his classmates at the beach. There's confused noises and fingers pointing at the sea in front of them.

What is everyone looking at? He wonders. He looks out into the horizon.

What was originally calm and serene now had some kind of bump, as if a large wave was incoming. But that's impossible, right?

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Monokuma pops up behind them. “What the hell is this? Why'd the tsunami warning alarms go off?!” Oh, of course that's it... what is happening today? “Hell, I didn't even know we had those!” His red eye glowers. “What did you crazy kids do?!”

“We didn't do shit!” Fuyuhiko roars. “Is this supposed to be another motive? I thought you said you couldn't hurt us directly!”

“Ah, yes... this is totally a part of the plan... NOT!” The bear growls.

Monomi shuffles out from behind Monokuma, sobbing, “Oh, this is so bad!”

“Shut up! I'm trying to figure out how to fix this!”

“This must be my fault...” Nagito sighs. “I'm sorry everyone. But we can only unite during this moment of despair to create a newfound hope!” His words are immediately washed away with everyone screaming and crying.

“Hajibro!” A familiar voice yells, and upon turning his head, he sees Souda approaching him, and quickly. “It was nice knowing you!” The mechanic hugs him desperately.

“Everyone, we must start to evacuate!” Sonia yells. Gundham nods. “The god of darkness may greet our souls, and I shall defeat him before we descend into his realm!”

There's no way this is how it ends! He hasn't even figured out his talent yet! Why does it have to be like this? Surely, there's gotta be something that can be made to counteract this... He'll need fuel, a large fan, maybe? Wheels to ensure it can be moved... steel... a wall?

“I have an idea!”

Hajime shares his idea with Kazuichi, who blinks tears out of his eyes and peers up at him curiously. “Didn't know you were into mechanics, Hajime. Man, you really do listen to my rambles! This is why you're my soul bro!” It's definitely not that, but I'll let him have this. He nudges Souda to focus, damn it. “Oh, yeah! I could see that working. The problem is we don't really have the parts on this island for any of that...”

“It's impressive you came up with that in such short notice, Hajime. Maybe you're the Ultimate Inventor?” Nagito tilts his head. As much as Hajime would love to address that- it's a really good point actually- there's not enough time anymore!

The water gets closer and closer, its wave oh so high-

before crashing against the beach, providing them a gentle mist while soaking the sand and settling back into serene waters.

“What?!” Hiyoko screeches. “How in the hell are we not dead?!”

Mikan wipes away tears of relief. “It looked much more threatening earlier...”

“Our hope was high, thanks to Hinata! It turned our luck around!”

“Awesome!” Akane yells out victoriously.

Yeah, I don't know about that Komaeda... I'm just glad nothing bad happened.

“Okay, I'm back!” Monokuma's voice rings. The bear does a double take at the scene in front of him. “What the hell?! It's gone?! Damn it! All that work for nothing!”

[alastor-the-demon]

*yeet part 2*

*His microphone was shut off, but his face says it all*

[unpopularvivian]

3

2

1

go! Sixteen: Swallowed by the world we live in hoping that you would have been forgiven!

Thomas: You twitch out to get me here are you some demon or eastranged puppeteer? Sixteen: Much more than you comprehend if you finish the game someone must meet their end.

Thomas: There's not anything in sight if you challenge me I will put up a fight! *Flash before revealing several dead E2 carcasses and A3's as the outline of the scrapyard appear.* Sixteen: There was once a game we played chasing around the bodies laid the worlds we travelled fell to the ground and more murders happen all around!

Thomas: Everything is in the past? Well how can anybody last? The void we;re in goes on forever no unpredictable weather! Sixteen: I get to play with my power brutal murder goes for hours when this all ends something comes to take you to your enternal fate!

Thomas: There’s nothing that you can do we’re in stalemate nothing can be true a scorching flame consumes the world and revals everything and all the plot unfurls! Sixteen: You watch your back your pushing you luck, one wrong move and I hit like a truck! Thomas: At the end of the line you’ll meet your end, you’ve crossed the line and hurt all my friends! Both: Backed up into a sharp corner forced to lose admit defeat nothing with a pulse can remain something that can not speak you’re name! Interesting lives can be lead but not when it’s all in you’re head listen to the words that it said when it called you too become dead! There’s a chill a chill for killers trapped in the finale, chillers take the thrill of all the thrillers knocking over all the pillars! Only a red glow remains it tells you that you lost the game it’s knowing that you will be maimed forever living inside of the pain! *Flash to empty red glow with everything gone as Thomas and Sixteen change* 

Wilbert: Have you ever wondered what happens your game ends forever? Timothy: No need to worry about the future when the presents ever!

Wilber: Some say there’s just darkness some. Say. MORE. 

Timothy: Unlike white paint that fought before, One quick flash of blue will win the war!

 *Flash back to the glowing red outlines of the scrapyard and Thomas and Sixteen are back to normal*

Sixteen: That’s impossible I always win win win! You don’t know the danger you are in in in! Letting someone get away is a sin sin sin sin! I’ll seperate you from you’re skin skin skin!

Thomas: Time to end all you’re fun, feeling the win dawn on us! Keeping up with you ain’t much! Fear will soon not be there, screaming out in the air! Sixteen: You don't get it, I could never be deceived This is like a giant stain that just won't leave!

I only exist to lie, betray, and cleave! You're withholding something, boy, I'm not naive!

Thomas: Hit the ground hear em scream, everyone you defeat, You’ll take that masive blow first, come now let’s hear you plead!

Sixteen: I have ended millions, shooting, choking, stabbing, striking, stinging Everything I do is lethal No exceptions, even singing rhymes! Thomas: New faces will come and go like a completely different show the times have changed won’t let you slow the never ending legacy of long ago!

Both: Slash, kill, burn, tear, rip, and blunder killing engines pulling under rasing up to strike like thunder we are fate’s hunters keeping up with modern times proudly filling heinous crimes whilst cutting through old fate’s thick vines!

Thomas: You know what? TAKE THIS!!!!!

*Thomas then yeets his microphone at Sixteen. However, it disappears into ash as Thomas looks absolutely dumbfounded*

Thomas: NO!!!!! MY MICROPHONE!!!!!

Sixteen: This will be the moment where all of your hopes and dreams will finally rot into scrapyard.

Sir Topham Hatt: Not if I have something to say!

*Sir Topham Hatt then quickly pulls out his gun and starts firing at Sixteen before taking Thomas' hand dashes to the opposite direction*

Sir Topham Hatt: Let's go!!!!! Let's go!!!!!

Thomas: Huh?!? What the hell?!?!

Sixteen: Oh.... You two are going to pay.....

[shaynetoppsfuturewife]

Eat It or Yeet It: Guy's Night

It’s call time, the crew has all gathered on the set for Eat It or Yeet It, Garrett, dressed like a poker dealer, is setting up his care station, while a set assistant adds the final touches to his desk like area. Cameramen and various other crew members are setting up and checking equipment. 

The table has been changed from the normal set design, the warn yellow tablecloth replaced with a dark red, poker cards and chips scattered over the top. Prepared for today’s theme, ‘Guy’s Night.’

Spencer is the first of the five victims to arrive, with an open laptop in hand,

“How early am I?” He picks the far left seat in front of Garrett, 

“Not early, right on time,” Garrett answers with a quick check of the time.

“So early.” Spencer chuckles, looking at whatever work he’s been doing on his laptop and returning to it. 

“Pretty much.” Tommy agrees, walking into the room with a tray of mocktails. “But it means you get first pick of your drink.” 

“Oh, whatcha got?” Spencer looks around the laptop as Tommy carefully puts the tray down. 

“Now I do want to clarify that these are mocktails, though we’ll pretend otherwise.” Tommy lifts the first drink off the tray “The Capone. Whiskey, vermouth, and Campari.” A small drinking tumbler is placed down on the table, a rich orange liquid with an orange peel twist inside. Next, he picks up a martini glass with a light yellow colour, and a cherry somehow seated on top. “The Casino, gin, maraschino, lemon juice and orange bitters.” Ian quietly walks in, taking the rightmost chair without interrupting Tommy’s explanation.  

“And in this coupe glass, is a Corleone cocktail, gin, Moscato, grapes, lemon juice, orange bitters and sugar syrup. Not gonna lie, I kinda want this one.” Tommy lifts a coupe glass with a soft yellow-green liquid and a singular skewered grape. “Monty Carlo, good ole whiskey and bitters.” He shifts a whiskey glass, half full of fake ice and an amber liquid, and a twist of lemon skin balanced over the lip. “And finally, the Godfather” The last glass also has fake ice, “scotch and amaretto.”

“The Monty Carlo please,” Spencer answers,

“Godfather sounds perfect for me.” Ian takes the glass and puts it down in front of himself. “And if you want the Casino you might as well take it.” Tommy gives the tray to the art assistant, taking his own drink and placing it beside Spencer. 

“Colours for today. Spencer red, Tommy blue.” A production assistant walks around with the bibs. “Ian, Yellow as preferred.” The last two are just placed on the stools. 

“I know!” Damien and Shayne’s arrival is loudly preceded by loud booming laughter. 

“Sorry, we’re late!” Damien hurries his best friend along, noticing that the other three of Garrett’s victims have arrived. 

“Still beat Noah,” Spencer speaks up, setting his laptop aside to put his bib on and get mic’ed up. A sound assistant passing out microphone packs to everyone. 

“Do you want the middle?” Damien offers, 

“Aww hell no,” Shayne answers, picking up the green bib and taking the seat beside Tommy, leaving Damien the purple bib. 

“And your mocktail choices are the Capone or the Casino.”

“I’ll be Al Capone.” Shayne takes the drink Tommy offers, 

“Does this mean I’ll take the house?” Damien asks as the Casino is put before him.

“You can have the big bite,” Shayne answers with a shrug, trying to hold in laughter. 

“Oh, maybe not.” The attempt fails, Shayne laughing as the realisation sinks in. 

“It could be good!” Garrett calls, 

“Or it might not be,” Damien responds, shaking his head. 

“Alright, just waiting on Noah then we can start.” One of the producers speaks, clearing the crew from the set now that they’re all set up.

“I hear my name.” Noah strolls in late with an iced drink, (Starbucks, for the meme). 

“Right on time,” Ian calls back with a smile, stopping any of the slightly grumpier responses from the crew who had actually been on time. 

“Oh sweet, what are we drinking?” Noah takes a sip of his drink while eyeing up those on the table.

“Yeah, do we get some?” Garrett asks, an art assistant approaches with more props for his table, alcohol bottles and a few glasses.

“I can whip a couple more up,” Tommy answers, surveying the bottles, plotting what he can make from what they have there. 

“All fake I’m afraid.” The assistant stops the thoughts.

“Same with those on the table.” Tommy laughs but sits back down anyway. “Sorry boys.”

“It’s fine,” Garrett answers with a hint of a pout, 

“Alright, do we have sound on all the mics?” A thumb is raised from within the crowd of the crew in answer, “Camera’s rolling?” The Cameramen push buttons here and there, before answering in the affirmative. 

“Eat It or Yeet It, Poker Night, Take One, and Action.” The clapper board is brought out and snapped down, the crew member shuffling off screen before Noah starts to speak. 

“Hello everyone and welcome to a special episode of Eat It or Yeet It. That’s right, I’m Courtney, and this is guy's night!”  Those at the table spend a moment trying to hold in their laughter, before failing. “No?”

“It’s perfect!” Yells a voice from behind the camera, resulting in more laughter from both the cast and crew. 

“Okay, Good.” Noah waits a moment for the laughter to subside before speaking again. “Here are the rules.” A slight pause for the editors to cut in and add Courtney’s prerecorded clip of the rules. “Wait, should I actually read the rules?” 

“Why not?” Comes the reply, knowing that the editor can always edit it out.

“True.” The table agrees. 

“Alright, Funny faces on...” Tommy’s the first to react, lifting a glass in ‘cheers’ to the camera, the others quickly copy, making sure to pull faces as they do so, all looking like they froze frame in the middle of saying ‘cheers’ “First person to ding the bell eats the dish, that person is then out, and safe for the rest of the game. Last person standing eats ‘The Big Bite’ which is either the best or the worst, dish of the game.”

“Wow Noah, have you been practising? Shayne asks, looking behind him. 

“Maybe a little,” Noah answers, shrugging off the compliment. “What have we got planned for guys’ night Garrett?” 

“Well, it’s the boy’s weekly get together, so we decided to play some poker and eat some relatively easy finger foods,” Garrett answers, shuffling a deck of cards. 

“And Tommy’s had a hand in preparing today’s meal?” Noah pulls attention back to the table, and one of the five men sitting at it. 

“Oh no, I just brought the drinks.” Tommy is quick to turn down any knowledge of Garrett’s evil plans. 

“Before we start, does anyone want anything from the care station?” 

“Oh no.” Damien shares a worried glance with Spencer. “How bad is it?”

“Not bad, just checking.” There’s a smile on Garrett's face that warns otherwise

“Well I wasn’t supposed to be here, so there’s probably some malic acid in there somewhere.” Shayne speculates, warning the group.

“Alright, hand over the bread.” Ian holds out a hand, and quickly everyone is munching away, adding something to their stomachs before whatever Garrett’s cooked up is offered to them.

“So is your strategy going to be going for the dish you think has malic acid in it?” Ian asks Shayne. 

“I’m not sure, I’ll probably end up with it no matter what I do, so...” Shayne shrugs. 

“Probably.” Almost everyone agrees, it’s just how these things go, at least they can normally convince one other person to try it, so they still get some sort of reaction on camera.

“Alright, we ready?” Noah asks as the last bite of bread is swallowed. 

“Let’s do this.” Everyone is eager to get started, keen to see what madness Garrett cooked up. 

“Close your eyes.” The five at the table close their eyes, allowing Noah to move around the table to where another crew member is carefully placing a plate of mini-pizzas beneath the cloche. “And open.” 

“Dish one of poker night is....” Noah lifts the cloche, to instant distrust and confusion. The bite-sized pizzas are quickly analysed for anything out of the ordinary. They seem to be vegetable pizzas, with green capsicum, tomato, and mushroom. The cheese on top is melted, and the same colour as you’d expect for cheese. “Five!” Noah starts the countdown.

“Four!” The room joins in, “Three! Two! One!” Tommy’s hand instantly shoots out, slamming onto the bell. Ian is hesitantly reaching for the bell, as does Spencer, but Damien and Shayne don’t move.

“Pizza can’t be bad!” Tommy explains his decision as Noah puts the platter in front of him

“It can if Garrett’s been near it.” Shayne and Damien both speak, looking at each other and smiling when they hear the other speak. 

“Hey!” Garrett’s partially offended, 

“Pizza cannot be bad.” Ian agrees with Tommy “At least that was my hope.” 

“I guess we’ll see.” Noah says as Tommy picks up one of the mini pizzas “In Three!”

“Two!” The room joins in, “One!” Tommy shoves the whole mini pizza into his mouth. 

“That’s the biggest bite.” Ian laughs, as the others echo similar comments. 

“It looks too good to be true.” Damien comments, 

“Oh uh.” Shayne notices it first when Tommy’s face starts to scrunch up, enjoyment giving way to dismay as he tries to figure out what’s happening in his mouth. “Yeet bucket?” Noah searches around him, producing a bucket that Tommy waves off. 

“Why is it slimy?” Tommy asks around his mouthful. 

“You don’t like my pizza?” Garrett tries to pout, but can’t help his smile as he watches on.

“It’s not that, most of it is actually quite nice but... it’s got this slimy texture that seeps throughout and ruins it.” Tommy swallows his bite with a shake of his head, picking up another mini-pizza and raising it to eye level.

“Not again?” Ian asks, 

“I just can’t figure out what it is. It tastes like a veggie pizza, but with slime.” Tommy analyses the mini pizza up close.

“May I?” Damien reaches for the tray, and Tommy nods, sliding it into the middle of the table.

“Go for it, anyone else?”

“Why not?” Spencer takes one for himself, as do Ian and Shayne. They all take small bites, 

“Uucckk.” Ian’s shoulders come up to his ears as the sliminess hits him. 

“Oh! I think I know what this is!” Damien announces.

“Can you tell us any more?” Noah asks Tommy, who has taken another small bite and is chewing very slowly and deliberately as he tries to figure it out. 

“It might be the dough? Is it undercooked Pizza?” Tommy asks, looking at Garrett. 

“The dough shouldn’t be.” Garrett comes around, takes one of the mini pizzas and pops it in his mouth. 

“Nope, it’s cooked.” His mouth is full as he answers, 

“Definitely know what it is.” Damien watches Garrett with a knowing smile, taking another bite of his pizza. Beside him, Shayne puts down his with a bite out of it, and Ian takes another puzzled bite.

“Garrett can you eat this?!” Spencer is worried, eyes following Garrett as he returns to his spot, getting a slight nod in answer. 

“Any final guesses before we go to Damien, Tommy?” Noah asks, drawing attention back to this round's ‘winner’

“I suppose Garrett eating it is some kind of hint?” Tommy ponders it for a moment, “But I’m sure he eats all kinds of weird stuff preparing for these shows.

“True.” Garrett agrees, 

“Nope, no idea.” Tommy gives up, looking to Noah for the answer.

“Damien?” Given his time to shine, Damien straightens up.

“Is it vegan cheese?” Noah pulls out a card from his apron. 

“This is Garrett’s Vegan Pizza. Homemade vegan pizza dough, plant-based cheese, tomato paste, mushroom, tomato and green bell peppers.” Noah reads, “Congratulations! You ate it, so you are now safe for the rest of the game.” 

“Yeah,” Ian cheers, as Noah moves closer to Tommy.

“Woo” Shayne adds, clapping as well.

“Well done!” Spencer also cheers, 

“This is supposed to be a good dish?” Tommy asks Spencer, moving the microphone off of his bib as Noah takes it off of him. 

“I thought it would be!” Garrett responds, “Give me the tray, I’ll eat them.” Spencer passes over the tray, and Garrett takes another bite of one. 

“I think it’s the texture of the cheese, it’s rather slimy compared to ‘normal’ cheese.” Damien partially defends the table. 

“It was the cheese?!” Tommy doesn’t believe it. 

“I still have the block, should I?” Garrett starts to ask,

“Yes!” He’s interrupted by an excited shout, and so he quickly ducks out to go and get it. He doesn’t take long to return, going to the table and cutting a slice of cheese for Tommy. 

“Anyone else?”

“Yeah, I’ll take one.” Damien agrees. Ian holds his hand out, and Spencer does the same. 

“Okay, twist my arm.” Shayne chuckles, also taking a slice. 

“It feels so slimy.” Tommy is running his fingers up and down the slice. “How did it even melt?” Garrett offers slices to those behind the cameras who want to try it. 

“If you add some water and then steam it, Vegan cheese will melt just like normal cheese,” Garrett answers, returning to his station and eating another mini pizza. 

“I could get used to it.” Spencer shrugs, taking a bite of his slice.

“I think I’m happy with my normal cheese.” Shayne turns and tosses the rest of his in the Yeet bucket. 

“I mean it’s-” Damien shrugs, eating the last of his slice.

“Alright, let’s clean up and move on to the next dish.” The director orders, watching the last remaining pieces of cheese get tossed. “Eyes closed.” The five at the table close their eyes again, and another platter of food is brought up and the cloche is carefully balanced on top.

“And open your eyes.” Noah waits for a second before lifting the cloche, revealing a giant platter of Philly steak subs. Steak stuffed sandwiches covered with drizzling melted cheese inside a thick, white sub roll. 

“Wow.” Several voices chime in, everyone leaning in closer to eye up this magnificent sandwich. Garrett, behind his desk, chuckles at the amazed responses.

“Five!” Noah starts the countdown

“This definitely has the Malic acid.” Shayne talks over Noah, to the other contestants. 

“Four!” Everyone chants. 

“No way.” Damien laughs, 

“Three! Two! One!” All four hands shoot out at once, slamming down on the button in an effort to be the first. The button, under the force of the four men, flies off of the table and towards Noah, who quickly uses the cloche as a shield to protect himself. 

“I think we’re going to need instant replay for that one.” Noah chuckles, looking down at the table. Quickly, one of the cameras starts checking the playback.

“I hit someone else.” Shayne is the first to admit his defeat. 

“Me.” Damien raises his hand with a wince, “and may I say, Ow!” Damien cradles his hand close to his chest.

“Sorry.” Shayne apologises quickly, 

“I also hit somebody.” Damien also sadly reveals his defeat.

“Me I think.” Ian raises a hand of his own momentarily. “Which means Spencer got there first.” Another defeat, leaving only one victor remaining.

“Me?” Spencer can’t believe it, looking at his own, severely crushed hand to see a faint imprint of the bell top on his palm.

“Playback says Spencer.” A voice calls from one of the side cameras, agreeing with what the men have admitted.

“Congratulations Spencer, and we’ll get you some ice for that hand after this.” Noah pulls the giant sub towards Spencer, 

“Dude, I’m jealous.” Damien stage-whispers softly to Shayne, who nods his agreement. Spencer smiles at both before picking up the sub with both hands.

“Three!” Noah starts,

“Two! One!” Spencer fills his mouth with as much of the sub as he can, ripping a big bite off with a slight twist of his head. A piece of steak covered in a brown sauce smacks into his chin with the movement. And he tries his best to start chewing.

“Man, if this thing is bad...” Shayne chuckles nervously, lifting a hand to his face. Spencer doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything with how full his mouth is, but the look on his face is pure bliss. 

“Do you need the bucket?” Noah asks, after a moment of silence and chewing. Spencer shakes his head, 

“This is delicious!” He mumbles around the bite still in his mouth. The remaining three groan in response, “Do you guys want to try it?” Spencer pushes the plate into the middle of the table, offering some to everyone else.

“No burning at the back of your throat?” Tommy verifies as Spencer finishes the bite. Shayne shrugs, reaching out and tearing off the end of the sub for himself.

“No weird bubbling in your stomach?” Ian adds, hesitantly reaching towards the plate.

“Is it definitely beef and not some other exotic meat?” Damien adds, 

“I mean, if you guys don’t want any, I’ll happily eat it all.” Spencer goes to pull the plate back, only to get stopped

“We’re just checking,” Tommy replies as everyone else tears off a bit of the sub. 

“What did you taste?” Noah asks, also helping himself to a bite.

“There’s this rich, tender steak, with creamy cheese, I’d guess provolone, with a slight hint of bite from the onion, and that sauce just oozes in such a spectacular way. The bread, so light and fluffy.” Moans echo from around the table as everyone else digs into their share, nodding their heads in agreement with Spencer’s description. “You should make this again Garrett.” Garrett smiles proudly, 

“I was a little worried, but I’m glad it turned out so well.” He admits, “I messed up the test one earlier in the week.” 

“Steak can be hard to cook.” Shayne nods his head, 

“I’d imagine this would be hard to cook.” Damien motions to the sub as Spencer takes the rest of it back to continue eating.

“Alrighty Spencer, would you like to know what you ate?” Spencer nods, taking another bite of the sub. “It’s a Jumbo Philly Cheesesteak sub!” Noah reads off of the card. “Rib-eye steak, provolone cheese, caramelised onion, and a ‘rich sauce’.” Eyes look to Garrett who only shrugs, motioning to ‘shush’ as he does so.

“Apparently a secret sauce. Well, Spencer, you ate it, which means you are safe for the rest of the game.” Spencer reluctantly puts the sub down to help Noah remove his bib. 

“So if Tommy got one that was supposed to be good, and Spencer got something that is objectively great-” Damien starts,

“We’re ducked.” Shayne finishes with a sigh. 

“Yup.” Ian agrees quickly, 

“Alright, let’s keep going.” The director calls, 

“Can I keep this?” Spencer asks, looking past the cameras and pointing at the sub. 

“Don’t see why not,” Ian answers with a shrug. 

“Thanks Boss!” Spencer smiles, settling onto his stool with what remains of his jumbo sub.

“And eyes closed.” A new platter is brought in and quickly covered, and Noah is ushered to the front to resume his hosting duties. “And open!” 

Noah lifts the cloche to reveal a plate of what looks like deep-fried mini spring rolls, with three different kinds of dipping sauces. 

“Five!” Shayne, Damien and Ian all lean in, looking for anything suspicious.

“Four! Three! Two! One!” Shayne and Damien both lunge for the bell, Damien’s hand clasping down on top of Shayne’s. 

“I don’t know if I’d trust things I can’t see inside of,” Ian warns while the platter is moved closer to Shayne. 

“There’s enough that we can share.” Shayne offers to Damien, nudging the plate towards his friend. 

“You go first, I’ll think on it,” Damien replies, 

“What is the plan here Garrett?” Shayne asks, picking up one mini spring roll and eyeing up the three sauces. 

“Just pick your favourite one.” Garrett laughs at the mildly annoyed look he gets in response. 

“All three,” Ian adds at the same time. 

“At once?!” The pitch of Shayne’s voice raises as he queries the order, earning laughter from everyone. 

“Or one at a time?” Garrett offers, “Whatever you’d prefer.”  

“Okay...” Shayne looks around the room suspiciously, before going to hover over a bowl of what looks to be sweet chilli sauce. 

“In Three!” Noah starts off the countdown, and Shayne dips the spring roll. 

“Two! One!” There is a resounding crunch as Shayne bites the spring roll clean in half, cracking and flaking in the ways that only well-cooked spring rolls do. Shayne’s hand coming up to catch the bits that flake out of his mouth. He nods his head as he chews, a smile on his face, that slowly dips giving way to confusion. Slow deliberate chews, mulling the flavour in his mouth. 

“Maybe take another bite?” Garrett suggests, watching with a big grin. It must be bad, somehow, if Garrett looks like he’s about to explode into the giggles of a mad toddler. Shayne turns the spring roll around, dipping the uneaten half into the brown sauce before plopping it into his mouth whole. Still chewing with that confused look on his face. 

“What, what are you tasting there buddy?” Noah asks, trying not to laugh as Shayne’s head cocks to the side like a confused golden retrievers would, still puzzling over the taste in his mouth. 

“It’s not bad, it’s just... weird,” Shayne answers, taking another and dipping it in the last of the sauces, taking another descend bite. “Pastry on point,” He mumbles around his mouthful, “noodles, noodly, bits of carrot and other green vegetables, tastes normal.” Shayne pokes around inside of the half eaten spring roll in his hand. “But it also tastes like someone cut up bits of lemon and tucked them inside.” He pulls the spring roll apart, unable to find any parcels of yellow or anything, before shoving the disassembled bite into his mouth. 

“Anyone else want to give it a try?” Garrett offers, deflating with the idea that whatever his evil plan is hasn’t worked. 

“It isn’t Malic acid is it?” Damien hesitantly reaches for one, looking to Garrett for the answer. 

“Try it and see.”  Damien breaks a spring roll in half, tentatively sticking his tongue into the top. All eyes are on him, waiting for the reaction that always comes with malic acid, the screwing up of the face as the eyes and mouth pucker and the mouth starts salivating in an attempt to counter the sourness. But it never comes, instead, Damien reaches out to dip the closed half into the brown sauce and drops it all into his mouth. 

“Well in that case.” Spencer puts down his sub and leans over the table, grabs one and dunks it in the white sauce before plopping it whole into his mouth. Spencer, unlike Shayne and Damien, does not have a good reaction. Slowly, his face starts to screw up, starting with his nose before spreading until he’s chewing with a wide open mouth. Finally getting the reaction he wants, Garrett’s evil laughter bursts forth, hands clapping together in glee. 

“Spencer? What’s happening?” Noah asks, rushing to grab the Yeet bucket and offer it to Spencer, only to get it waved away.

“You know when you were younger and you said ‘the bad words’ and your parents threatened to wash your mouth out with soap and water?” Heads around the table nod, able to relate. “Well, this taste’s like that.” Spencer takes another big bite of his sub, attempting to wash away the flavour.

“Oh!” Lightbulbs go off above several heads, those both in front of and behind the camera. 

“What?” Noah asks, glancing around the table.

“Well, there is this herb, you may have heard of it, to some people, it tastes like citrus, and to others, it tastes like soap,” Shayne explains, 

“No way.” Spencer groans, watching both Shayne and Damien take another and pop them into their mouths. 

“You ruined my malic acid plan! It’s just my luck that you like cilantro too!” Garrett complains, 

“I want a taste.” Ian decides, splitting one in half and offering the other half to Tommy. 

“I don’t know if I want to.” Tommy reluctantly takes the other half, 

“Count us down?” Ian asks,

“Alrighty, Three!” Noah starts, and everyone joins in. 

“Two! One!” Ian and Tommy both eat their halves, all eyes watching them closely. Tommy’s face screws up first, much to everyone’s amusement. Something he solves by swallowing and then downing most of his mocktail. 

Ian doesn’t seem to mind, chewing thoughtfully for a moment more. 

“You’re right, it does taste like when my mom used to wash my mouth out.” Ian reaches over for another, dipping it in the chilli sauce and taking another big bite. 

“Seriously?” Noah asks, eyes wide with disbelief. 

“Wanna try?” Shayne offers him one, and Noah takes it, reaching around to get some of the white sauce and try it. Noah’s face screws up pretty quickly, head shaking as he rushes to finish the bite. 

“Well Shayne, you ate it and are safe!” He quickly gets back to his hosting duties before he can be questioned about it. Taking Shayne’s bib away with the man’s help. “What you just ate is soapy mini spring rolls, spring rolls with cilantro, carrot, angel hair noodles, and spring roll flavouring.

“I don’t taste soap, it’s just the lemon doesn’t go well at all,” Tommy admits, accepting a drink from Garrett as he silently passes it over. 

“I was hoping for soap,” Garrett admits, offering everyone else a drink as well, but no one else accepts. “Your grave mouth will have a weakness Shayne, and I will find it.” A supervillain level threat, Shayne tries to look scared, but quickly cracks up laughing, taking everyone else with him. 

“Alright, shall we move on?” Noah asks as the laughter dies down. 

“Spencer, promise me you’ll clip that with fire and evil maniacal laughter?” Shayne asks, wiping his eyes. 

“Absolutely.” Spencer agrees, probably already considering doing the same himself. 

“Thanks!” 

“Eyes closed.” The cast - including Noah - closes their eyes, “Not you Noah.” 

“Oh.” There are more chuckles as Noah opens his eyes and moves around to the front of the table, hovering his hand over the cloche the production assistant was carefully placing over the next platter. 

“Forgot your job there Noah?” Damien teases, 

“Oh shush.” Noah sticks his tongue out in response, knowing Damien can’t see it. “Eyes open.” He gives them a second before lifting the cloche. “Five!” On the table sits a pile of chicken wings, smothered in a bright red marinade, with a dollop of white cream on top, and a sprinkle of bright green over the top.. 

“Yes!” Damien is excited by the sight, looking over to see if Ian might be thinking the same.

“Four! Three!” The cast and crew keep counting down, 

“All yours.” Ian leans back with a shake of his head. Both seem to know what the platter is. 

“Two! One!” Damien reaches for the bell, hand landing on it while Ian sits still. 

“All yours my dude.” Noah smiles, putting the tray in front of Damien. 

“Nice. Thanks Ian.” Damien smiles, lifting a wing in a ‘cheers’.

“What do you think it is?” Noah asks, wanting to get his thoughts before he takes a bite.

“Well, we’ve had the mini-pizzas, that were meant to be good, but Tommy didn’t enjoy the cheese. Then Spencer got that delicious looking jumbo sub, so two good, then we had the spring rolls, which weren’t too bad despite Garrett’s attempts-”

“Speak for yourself,” Spencer mumbles, 

“They were bad.” Tommy also interjects, Garrett chuckles away at their responses,

“So this one will probably be good, and the big bite will probably be the worst dish of the game. And I do like buffalo wings.” Damien finishes his thought process.  

“Make sure to get some of the cream,” At Garrett’s reminder, Damien dips the wing in his hand through the white sauce. 

“Ready when you are.” Damien nods to Noah, who starts the countdown. 

“Three! Two! One!” Damien tears into the chicken wing, munching away. Everyone watches his face silently, looking for any sign it’s good or bad.

“Oh no.” Damien puts the wing down, waving a hand at his face as beads of sweat start to form on his forehead, redness creeping onto his face from his neck. “Oh no.” Garrett’s hands clap together as he laughs, watching Damien closely. 

“Oh no?” Shayne asks, trying not to laugh. 

“Oh no,” Damien repeats, turning to stare at Garrett, who only laughs harder. 

“Can you talk us through this?” Noah asks, trying to remember his role in this video.

“Hot,” Damien replies, still waving a hand at his face. “Too hot.” Damien dips two fingers into the white sauce, dumping a large amount of it in his mouth, and breathing a sigh of relief at the coolness it brings. “It better not be in the sauce.” Damien mumbles, glancing to Garrett who shakes his head. “That would be cruel.”

“Bucket?” Noah offers, Damien shakes his head, holding the sauce in his mouth for a while longer before swallowing. 

“Those are buffalo wings, spiced by the devil himself.” Damien motions to the platter in front of him.

“Why thank you.” Garrett acts as if he is flattered by the insult. 

“Anyone else want some?” All four other heads shake no, Damien still breathing heavily as he fights the heat burning in his throat. 

“So what you ate are,” Noah pulls out the card. “Spicest buffalo wings ever. Buffalo wings, extra hot sauce, a sprinkle of ghost pepper, blue cheese sauce and spring onion.” 

“Sounds about right.” Damien goes to lick the sticky marinade off of his hands, but quickly stops himself, hands dropping towards the table, fingers held up.

“You had better wash that off,” Garrett advises, passing over a yogurt to help with the heat. 

“Good idea. Recess?” Damien looks past the cameras, asking for permission.

“2 minutes,” the director agrees, “cut!” 

“That is brutal,” Ian comments, pulling the tray closer to sniff it. 

“You worried about the big bite?” Shayne asks, getting up and helping himself to a bottle of water. 

“Could go either way really, two good, two bad,” Ian answers with a shrug. 

“At least we were saved the malic acid?” Tommy glances at Garrett, who has been engaged in a conversation. 

“This time.” Spencer sighs, glancing at Shayne. “They got enough warning to change it up.”

“Seems like it, Keith did find out at the start of the week,” Shayne answers with a shrug, taking a drink. 

“I’ll admit, cilantro wasn’t my best idea, but I was scrambling. I know what would happen if I used malic acid.” Garrett comes over and joins the conversation, glancing up at Shayne. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles sheepishly. 

“Not entirely your fault.” A production assistant quietly moves past them all, taking the buffalo wings away. 

“What am I in for?” Ian leans forward, trying to get the inside scoop on the upcoming big bite.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Garrett answers, 

“I’m back, sorry!” Damien announces his return, and everyone quickly shuffles back to their places. 

“Rolling.” The clapboard comes out, ready to mark the restart of the shoot. 

“Eat It or Yeet It take two, and action!” The clapper comes down, 

“Congratulations Damien! You ate it, although maybe you shouldn’t’ve, and you are safe from the game.” Noah laughs, taking Damien’s bib away. 

“I guess I’ll find out later.” Damien picks up the yogurt with a shrug. 

“And eyes closed.” The director calls from off-screen, the cast quickly obeys, even as Damien shovels yogurt into his mouth. Another platter of food is brought in, a cloche closed over the top. 

“You ready?” Shayne asks Ian, eyes still firmly closed. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Ian answers, 

“And open,” Noah calls, all eyes open as he lifts away the cloche, revealing a plate of fries, smothered in bacon, onion, and cheese, all drizzled in a brown sauce and with yet another dollop of white sauce on the top.

“Aww man.” Damien groans as Ian’s face lights up. 

“Five!” Noah starts off the countdown, 

“Four! Three! Two! One!” Ian leisurely reaches out and dings the bell, waiting for Noah to move the plate in front of him. 

“Any final thoughts?” Noah asks, 

“This better be salt, not malic acid.” Ian laughs, pointing the to small salt-looking granules on the fries, getting laughs from the room. 

“Three!” Ian has a massive smile as he picks up a few chips, making sure they have some of all the toppings.

 “Two! One!” Everyone joins in, watching Ian shove this massive bite into his mouth and start chewing. 

“What’s happening boss man?” Noah asks, leaning in. 

“Delicious!” You can barely understand Ian’s words around the giant bite, but his smile tells it all. 

“It smells fantastic Garrett.” Tommy compliments, everyone around nodding in agreement.

“Want a bite?” Ian offers, swallowing his mouthful. 

“Yes please!” Everyone digs in, Ian taking another big bite of his own, even Noah reaching around and helping himself to some of the platter. 

“I’m keeping this for lunch.” Ian motions to his plate, glancing behind the camera to make sure no one wants to take it away from him, smiling when he gets the response he wants. 

“Congratulations you ate it.” Noah pulls a card out of his apron, reading off of it. “Loaded Fries, fries, bacon, onion, secret sauce and sour cream.” Noah takes Ian’s bib off, 

“And that’s it for today’s episode, Thanks for watching, if you liked it please click the like button, and hey, if you haven’t, maybe subscribe.” Noah starts the outro, “If you aren’t done watching Smosh content, then here’s a video we picked out for you.” Multiple hands make a box on the right hand side of the screen, motioning at it. “Or here’s one the algorithm thinks you will like.” Those same hands now switch to the left hand side. “If you have any ideas for any future Eat It or Yeet It videos please comment down below.” Noah waves goodbye as everyone else on the screen picks up the cards in front of them, pretending to start playing the game. Shayne takes a sip of his drink, and Damien adds a few chips to the pot.

“All in.” Spencer decides, pushing all his chips into the middle.

“Fold.” Tommy throws his cards into the middle, 

“Do you even know how to play?” Ian asks, having some more fries. 

“Cut!” A voice comes from off-screen.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

No that's me on azzy's lap 😊💖

Ahhh see should have no... look how he yeeted the microphone to eye fuck you. Man is diseased.

[idv-news-boi]

->Laurence's Journal Entry {Part 2}

Day 11 {Is this a Mochi..?}

James, I was about to eat that mochi with the American flag decorated on it,,,

I thought Akihiko made it specially for me since I’m American - until i notice the sunglasses and how it just moved...

I ended up yeeting him out of the window,,,- I'm sorry, Uncle Sam,,,! 😭😔

Day 12 {My 12th bonk of the week-}

Got sent off flying back to the manor thanks to Mr. Subedar's soldier punch- Note to self; never blabber with teammates, keep decoding alone,,-

Without this note, i might just often end up staying at the infirmary most of the time- which is not cool,, >:'v

Day 13 {The Grumpy, Artsy Gnome}

James, let me tell you a not-so-secret secret,,, Out of all the artists community in the manor, the Painter is the most grumpier one,,,-

I'm surprised when he requested me to be his model for a painting- Even after bonk my head with his blank canvas itself,,,-

He's actually very good at his field, I won't underestimate that for sure.

Day 14 {Mount Mochi}

Oh gosh Jim,,,, This manor is so weirdly amusing! Some anon just donated a huge pile of mochi's to Akihiko's camera while we're working a the studio-

He doesn't seem confused by such strange patron gift, and seems to be grateful by the sight of yummy delicacies,,,-

Day 15 {I made someone else's Flytrap eat my microphone by accident-} @idvask-hunterfinn

Yes, James, i can't believe a flytrap would be that strange enough to eat metal- i thought it was safe enough to interview it,,,

But at least Mr. Drosera helped me fetched my tool back~ ❤️

I wish I could flirt more with him if only I wasn't on "thin ice" with him,,,,/IH (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Day 16 {Princely,,, So cute}

Prince got worried after i got injured during a match-

I was with Percy who i just broke up(cut connections-) with him after hitting my butt so hard,,, No wonder how I got injured/ih

But anyway, i rest assure anyone that it's hard for me to die,,, even age.

Day 17 {Duo Hunter Match is so fun!!!} @/idv-sinful-deities (bc that kinda feels like I'm spamming if it's a multi-muse blog for me idk why :'3)

James- I played Duo Hunters,,, IT WAS SO FUN??? It was so chaotic-- i also made a friend during the situation,,,, her name is Tae(pinned pic of Tae from the manor's survivor files)

We were giving and high giving for the good work until the hunter was about to get us- good things I saved us with a flare gun I've been saving the entire time,,, haha! x'D

Day 18 {Someone Came Back!} @idv-asktheconsigliere

Hey, James! One of the people who entered the manor before recently came back- I got so excited,,, I even made a breaking news announcement for her! Isn't that sweet? (pinned profile pic of Melissa from the manor's survivor files)

I seem to get along with Melissa surprisingly despite how serious she looks,,, She's so cool though????

Also- i just got tricked by one of the flirt attack asks by an anon who turned out to be her but drunk,,, after all that thinking from Amanda, to Angeline, to Bianca, and-

But anyway! At least I helped her get to her room- nothing has been done besides all the flirting~ 😅

Day 19 {Met Bianca,,, Also having lil Coffee Meetups} @experimental-blueprints

There was a lot of tension at first in our first meeting- i honestly don't really have taste for sassy-pretty girls- but i still invited Bianca anyway- she'll be fun to talk with~ (pinned profile pic of Bianca from the manor's survivor files)

We are now starting to meet up for Sunday coffee talks,,- Well, is mostly me talking as Bianca may look like she's so done with me yet still listens to me,,,- I think I'm in love./IH/hj 🥺

Day 20 {Bromance Marriage}

I proposed Akihiko with a friendship, purple candy ring pop, he said yes despite he doesn't like artificial purple flavored stuff,,-

I hired Eiji as our Preacher at the Red Church in case the building turns out to be hunted- I'll make sure Aki is reminded to bring his camera for that situation-/ih

[livslunaticdamiansdisciple18]

My Oh My- Jey Uso

Jey Uso x Savannah Morgan

Warnings: Smut, 18+!!!!

Word Count: 754

A/N: This is the first fic in the M.O.M (My Oh My) series. I was listening to this song (which is up top) when I decided to make a fic out of it like I do for some reason. So I hope you enjoy it. Let's get into it.

Savannah had been dreaming of wrestling at WrestleMania for the longest time. Her popularity has finally taken off after she debuted and after she’d been seen training with legends like The Undertaker. She never thought she'd be able to wrestle in front of thousands of people at WrestleMania. It was like her dreams were coming true!

No one knew who she had feelings for or more importantly who she was dating. If they had they might have assumed that was how she got such a huge push in the wrestling world. Savannah wasn't a push over by any means but she would let that man do things to her that the men she had dated before could only have dreamed of! The way he took her for another round on the dining room table after dinner, eating her pussy like she was his last meal, bending over the table and pulling her arms behind her back "who's pussy is this?" He said, letting go of one arm and grabbing her hair "answer me!" He'd growl and she'd scream for him to fuck her harder. "What's my name baby?"

"Savannah, are you ready to go?" One of the crew member said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm ready to go!" She smiled knowing that he was gonna be out there but she had to keep herself together and not let him know she was missing him.  She couldn't give him the satisfaction.

She'd done this a million times before, wrestling in front of thousands of people but he was never around to see it and now her heart was pounding. Was he gonna tease her while she was in the ring wrestling in front of thousands of people?  All she could do was wait. But she had a plan. They had both discussed how they were gonna announce they were a couple and she came up with an idea. After she was done with her match she was supposed to say "Yeet" and he was gonna come up and give her a kiss but knowing him like she did he would always change shit at the last minute.

"Here we go!" she said, psyching herself up. She walked out to the ring with a smile. She'd had her clothes custom made. She wanted something sexy but something that she could move around easily in and the designers had made the perfect ensemble!

She heard her opponent's entrance and the cheer of the audience.

"You got this Savannah! You could take her down. You’ve been training with legends for gods sake. You can do it!" Scanning around the audience for him she found him just before the bell rang "Everything’s good right? They have to catch you if they can!" She winked at him. "There he is “Main Event” Jey Uso. He’s also my man."

This match was her favorite because she could tease him and he couldn't do anything about it... Yet!

"Come on! 1, 2, 3 ref" Her voice said, annoyed as her opponent kept kicking out. As she winked at him again he adjusted in his seat trying to hide the bulge that was forming. He was gonna make her beg him later. She looked sexy as fuck in that outfit! He wanted to jump in the ring and take her right there not caring who saw but this was a family show /event  and he couldn't. "1, 2, 3. Yes I’m the new Women’s World Champion" she said directly to him watching him lick his lips. "Yes. That training and me constantly putting in the work paid off. '' As the match finished and the crowd cheered she prepared herself for what was to follow. Taking a deep breath she put the microphone to her lips and yelled "Wrestlemania!!" Giving a pause for cheers "YEET!!" Everyone in the crowd cheered and up the ramp he walked to her grabbing her in his embrace and kissing her in front of thousands of people.

"Jey Uso is dating Savannah Morgan. The new Women’s World Champion" Michael Cole said through the announcer's mic.

She lowered the microphone and felt the tickle of his beard against her ear "MINE" he growled making her bite her lip.

"That was an amazing match baby girl" he said admiring her performance "But that outfit" he growled in her ear "is coming off later! I'm gonna make sure we leave our DNA all over the hotel room!" She lightly punched his arm and they left the arena.

-I hope you guys enjoyed this! I had fun writing it. I love you guys so so so so so much. <33333

[voidbears-oc-stash]

*Synth YEETS them at the ground! missing Duster by a few CENTIMETERS! before staring at Desmond!* Synth: I mean- fire USE ALLY also kills things here besides undead- plus! there's you know? THE WHOLE LIVE AUDIENCE? OF INNOCENT PEOPLE!? WHO'D ALSO DIE!?

"Exactly! So, contain your arson till AFTER we fix the issue. I think some invisibility would help here now, though" Quinton says, puffing a little smoke

"Do we know if the laugh needs to be audible for the soul stealing? Because instead of invisibility, we could become completely silent and communicate through gestures" Desmond asks

"At this point I think it's better to try to 'convince' the Zombozo to drink a silencing potion so he can't be as funny, but we make that the plan D." Duster suggests. "First, I say we need to stop the recording equipment. No more recording, no more show, no more people laughing. I can hit the wires at a distance to disable charging of the cameras and microphones, though if they have an internal battery, which they likely do, we'd likely be noticed by then but it would be a matter of removing the batteries."

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Top!Dan / Dom!Dan (5) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four

100% northern meat (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan really likes talking about phil’s ass and phil decides to test that theory.

After the birthday stream (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: The events that may have occured after Dan's birthday charity stream;) Starts of with fluff but ends up in a steamy hot shower

Buffy Movie Nights are Life Changing (ao3) - angelbats

Summary: Things get steamy between Dan and Phil during their nighttime Buffy streaming session in 2010; featuring a confident yet bashful Phil and a shy Dan who learns how to drive Phil crazy.

disco stick (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick,” Phil sings into the microphone connected to the Xbox. It’s slightly off-rhythm, and he grins and stares right at Dan as he continues onto the next lyric. “I want to take a ride on your disco stick.”

(A fic based on the moment from “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4” where DnP mention they’ve sung LoveGame countless times on an old karaoke video game.)

Help Taking it Off (ao3) - cats_with_no_tails

Summary: I don’t know if Dan helped Phil pick out the phlonde-launch outfit, but I certainly imagine he helped take it off.

—

Set the day of Phil’s blonde hair announcement - Dan comes home to him in that cunty little midriff and wants to devour him.

"I'm a big fan of tops" (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Set immediately after filming the keep or yeet Phil's closet video.

Dan gets hot and bothered after watching Phil take his clothes off over and over again.

just a little bit closer (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil have a deep conversation, leading to them trying something new together.

(Set during the week Dan spent up north at Phil's house in December 2009.)

Let Me Show You Everything I Know (Lapdance 101) (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: Dan challenges Phil to a lapdance and things get a little bit more heated than anticipated.

Nights Like These (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Snuggling becomes sexual between two long-time lovers at bedtime.

one night stand (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan meets a stranger in a bar during after one of his shows on the We're All Doomed tour.

Perfection (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "I don't think you're ugly, Phil, not at all. Please... just let me show you how perfect you are." When Phil reveals to Dan his insecurities about his body during their first time together, Dan makes it his goal to prove to his boyfriend just how beautiful he really is.

Phil's ASs (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan can’t help but worship Phil’s perfect posterior

Precious Baby Angel (ao3) - toadsappho

Summary: Phil shows Dan his new t-shirt, but that's not the only surprise he has for him.

Sexual Fantasies (ao3) - CheekyLittleShipper_14

Summary: Hey was wondering if you are still taking prompts? And if you are I would love to see like maybe Dan left his sexual fantasies sweater laying around and Phil put it on for the funnsies and Dan catches him in the act and he thinks it's so cute/hot and they fuck while Phil's still wearing it?

true rat and relaxation time (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: Two gays on holiday, inspired by their recent video.

Title based on a tweet from Dannyboi himself<3

Try New Things! (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil really wants to try bottoming for the first time, and Dan is fine with that.

you will be (the death of me) (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: “I wanna play the game, I want the friction

You will be the death of me”

- Muse (Time is Running Out)