#yeah. no body look at me while im delusional

[shalomniscient]

bad things (covered by khs specifically) is going to be THE feisev song i fear

[ratatatastic]

do you also think about ekky, in his first full game back after rehab, the practise held the day afterwards, when asked how easy it was to play with forsy again going "its like having your own cheat code out there" and "im blessed to be able to play with such an awesome partner" thanks man very nice

[ren4ever]

Limerence love

TW: nsfw at the bottom (you'll be warned there, for now SFW 15+) masked men kink, "if anything i wouldnt even wish limerence upon my enemies"

🐰 h/n, the man you have an big fat crush on for no reason even though he gives u icks left n right and yet u still fantantize over this big bully, do you really just love being shoved to his locker while being whispered depraved shit? thats fucking delusional. 🐰 Your friend that always had been supportive with everything untill she heard that you like h/n, she always complains why your into such douchebags and that you could find a better man than him

🐰 you also frquently stalk his intagram and he knows it, you can hear him often chuckling with his friends about how desperate you are but secreeetttlyyyy maybe, just maybe he likes you ... a bit? 🐰 your parents decided to move to an different city for no fucking reason, so slowly but surely you started losing feelings for him 🐰 after several years you finally graduated and got hired as an militairy nurse 🐰 while you were getting an tour of the base, you noticed someone who looked fimilair leaning against the walls, staring at you. BEFORE READING FURTHER, NSFW WARNING TW: non-con (MINORS SCROLL)

after the tour you imediately evacuted to the restroom you started panicking! as you felt an cold, eerie presence behind u, your hands on the sink counter started trembling. Before u could even move he easily traps you against the sink, whilst using his free hand to pull onto ur hair "Where'd you think your going?" you struggle against him "let me fucking go" he scoffed at your pathetic plea, finally letting go off your hair "shut up" giving you an fierce glance before he forcefully drags you out of the restroom, his grip was too strong so your body just eventually gave up he then easily swang you over to his broad big shoulders, walking towards his barracks he roughly threw you onto his bed like a useless ragdoll before he crawled on top of you, "wh-- what are you doing?!-" you tried agressively kicking him off of you but he didnt care it as if you were just a little mouse compared to him "behave" he whispered calmy, while tearing ur clothes off as an needy maniac zziiiiippp "seeing a real man's dick for the first time hmm, yeah?" he then strokes his length while staring at your messed up face before he shoves it ruthelessly in you, you couldnt do anything but protest weakly "S-Shit.. ah.. s-stop! pleasee..." u beg him to stop while you writhe beneath him "shhh.." he wrap his hand around your neck forcing u to choke and hiccupping for air, "this is what you'll get for making me wait all those fucking years!" using you to relieve his fusteration (yeah, no im bad at writing NSFW so ill end it here sighhhh)

face down on the pillow, gasping for air with humiliating moans n whimpers.

[whousestypewriters]

friends till the end right? - k.a x reader

pairing: kai azer x reader

requested: yes / no

warnings: swearing

a/n: im living off of these crumbs until i get my hands on reckless fr. this'll be he last fic queued/posted until i get back lovelies. hope you enjoy mwah <33

taglist: @nqds, @lxvebelle, @reminiscentreader, @off-to-the-r4ces, @ecliphttlunar

@tornqdowarnings

kai azer was your friend.

your bestfriend.

you grew up together, he, just one week older than you basically being your guide into life. you both know he's full of shit and that he just likes to brag that he's older.

you've been by his side for all of it. the awful way edric treated him - which you still want to shove a dagger up edric's ass for by the way - to sneaking into the kitchen and eating lemon tarts with him.

you're his other half and he's yours.

he was by your side when your parents died, never once leaving you during those awful days. he pulled you out of your slump and brought you back to life.

so yeah....

you were close.

and although you were possibly the closets friends in ilya. you wanted more. you wanted to be the girl he looked at in every room the girl who he would recognise anywhere. you wanted to be his girl.

but that wasn't happening anytime soon. it was mere delusional thinking.

"hey, darling," kai's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. "you just gonna lie there all day?"

sighing you open your eyes and look up to kai. "it is rather comfy," you grumble at him. shutting your eyes and the image of kai and the colorful morning sky out.

"well its not my fault you tripped mid-spar."

"EXCUSE ME?" you practically fly up off the ground in anger. "I DID NOT TRIP YOU LITTLE SHIT-" you yell before kai cuts you off with a hand to your mouth.

"hush, you don't want to wake the entire kingdom with your loud ass mouth, you'd think you were a damn amplifier not tele."

you scoff and shove him back, causing him to stumble a little. "i'm going to murder you in your sleep."

"i get to look at your pretty face while dying? thats the greatest gift," kai smirks at you before shoving you back into a nearby tree, "and that was payback for shoving me."

"you deserved my shove. I didn't deserve yours," you huff leaning against the tree while kai looked at you from a few feet away. "what?" you ask. "do i have something on my face? if its dirt im blaming you, i've got lessons all morning after this."

he had an indecipherable look on his face. it only added to your confusion when he stepped closer, his body crowding yours the heat rolling off his skin and onto yours. still looking at you strangely he raises his hand slowly moving towards your face.

"what are you doing?" you meant it to sound questioning and stern but it just came out all breathy and high pitched.

his hand brushed you cheek as he raised it and pulled a twig from your hair. "you had something in your hair," his voice was soft and the moment crackled between the two of you.

there was no reason for you two to be standing that close. it was purely choice. and when kai's head dipped a little you almost gasped at how close you two were.

this was it, oh my god, you were getting your moment? that delusion was turning into a reality.

your breaths mingled together and you're ninety percent sure when kai's hand cupped your cheek and the other grabbed your waist you died a little inside - in the good way.

this was it.

"good morning guys!" a voice came from the other side of the training grounds as kitt strolled leisurely into the area.

kai stepped back from you quickly and headed over to chat with his brother but not before sending you a look that made you want to grin like a school girl.

maybe those delusions weren't so wrong after all.

[iluvapplesxh]

『Pick Me Up』

✯ pair: reneé rapp x fem!reader

✰ summary: Reneé decided to surprise you after your last class of the week by a little hang out proposition, and although you show a little distaste towards it, you definitely don't regret it.

✯ warnings: none(?), fluff, shitty ahh kiss scene, maybe curse words, !ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!

✒ a/n: uh so I tried to make it short...it's 2k+ words. and also my clumsy ass lost the request...im gonna cry

The continuous monotone voice of your college history professor made your focus slip from whatever he was saying more and more by the minute as the class dragged on and on seemingly forever.

Your elbow was propped up on the wooden desk in front of you, chin resting on the heel of your palm as the letters on the board became blurry while your mind slipped into the gutter of daydreams.

Those daydreams were about a very specific someone. The woman you couldn’t stop thinking about, but at the same time hated to do it. I mean, who would like to imagine such things about their friend? Exactly, no one. Well, at least not you. But with every touch and hug you felt more and more like she was just keeping you at arm's reach from something that the both of you are afraid to explore. Or maybe you were just delusional. 

But the way her hand would linger on the small of your back every time she let you walk out a door first, or the way her arms would wrap around you just a little tighter before pulling away, or way her arm around your waist would slip a little lower whenever someone got a little too chatty with you in her presence, or how her hand would give your thigh a gentle squeeze every time she sensed you were anxious or nervous about something. The way her pretty plump pink lips would curl into a reassuring smile while she looks at you, her blue eyes sparkling mesmerizingly under the lighting.

Oh she made you crazy.

But of course, those were just simple actions of friendship. Yeah, because you were friends. She’s just your super hot, pop star friend who is flirty with everyone. And you were just her childhood friend from highschool who attends a lame college and has little to no other friends. A bomb of a dynamic. 

Friends.

Your teeth let go of your bottom lip and your mind snapped out of the daydreams. Your head turned, looking around the now empty classroom and with a sigh you scrambled to pack up your notebooks and pens, pushing everything into your backpack carelessly before slipping your laptop into it in a little more gentle manner. Then you slung the backpack over your shoulder and stood up, walking down the long aisle of desks and benches, slowly making your way out of the classroom.

When you were out of there, your hands immediately reached for the pair of headphones hanging around your neck and lifted it up on the top of your head after turning it on. You made your way down the crowded corridor and your hand reached into your pocket, fishing out your phone and playing the first song your finger tapped on. When the beats and notes of the song reached your ears, you sighed out softly through your nose and slipped your phone back into your pocket.

You took calm steps down the big stairs leading to the lobby as your head filled with the low hum of the music coming from your headphones, your fingers tapping mindlessly against the side of your thigh as your arm hung by your side.

A soft grunt left your lips when you reached the entrance and you used your whole body to push open those heavy ass doors, letting them shut behind yourself as you went down another flight of stairs, the bright sun hitting your eyes which narrowed at the sudden stinging. 

When you reached the end of the seemingly never ending stairs, you were just about ready to take a left towards the parking lot when you felt a soft hand on your shoulder. You swung around with wide eyes, ready to throw a punch but your body relaxed when your eyes met Reneé’s blue ones. You breathed out and placed a hand against your chest, feeling your heart beat a little faster. Your other hand reached up and pushed the headphones off your head.

“Sorry, baby.” Reneé started once she was sure you could hear her. “Didn’t mean to scare you” A cheeky smile made its way on her face as her eyes looked over your still alert body.

“Shit, Reneé” You huffed out but then straightened up. “What are you doing here?” Your head turned from side to side, eyes scanning the area to see if anyone has noticed her yet.

“I came to pick you up, of course” Reneé stated matter of factly, her arms folding over her chest. “I thought I could surprise you since it's Friday and you don’t have classes on weekends and we could go out somewhere.” 

You took in a deep breath, processing the blonde’s words. “Uh…sure. I guess we can do that, but you could have texted me or something” You chuckled a little. 

“Ahw but, baby, surprising you seemed like so much more fun” The tip of your ears turned pink at the nickname before you slapped yourself internally. 

“Sure, it did” Your eyes rolled as you turned to the side and looked at the red Ford-Mustang parked by the sidewalk. “I haven’t seen her before…” Your brows raised as you glanced back at Reneé.

A soft chuckle left her lips as she shrugged. “Does it matter? Just get in, baby” 

Your eyes narrowed at her before a soft breath left your mouth and you nodded, stepping closer to the car and placing your hand on the door handle of the passenger’s side. And just when your fingers wrapped around the silver coloured handle, ready to pull, a shrieking scream came from behind you. 

“Holy shit! Reneé Rapp” 

You heard a little giggle leave your friend’s lips while you rolled your eyes and pulled the door open, taking off your backpack and tossing it in before turning around to see a little crowd of gays forming. You stifled a groan as you leaned against the car. 

“Oh my God, can you sign my arm? I wanna get it tattooed!” 

“Wait, me too! Me too!” 

“Can I hug you, Reneé? Please?!”

An annoyed frown formed on your face as Reneé was swarmed by the college students, some of whom were your classmates in some classes. You watched with a glare as Reneé happily obliged and hugged and interacted with the fans.

“Alright, guys, guys” Reneé laughed loudly. “I love you all, so much but I have to go, alright?” A chorus of groans came from the crowd but luckily everyone agreed and stepped away from the singer. When Reneé walked in front of you again with a smile, taking a deep breath, your own frown formed into a small grin. “Ready, baby?” 

God, if words could kill. 

“Yeah” You let out, almost breathlessly. “You?” 

Only a soft laugh escaped her mouth as she placed a hand on your shoulder before rounding the car and slipping inside the driver’s side. Your lips pressed into a thin line as your eyes followed her, letting them slip just the tiniest bit lower before you shook your head and also got into the car, buckling in.

The engine started up with a deep rumble and it filled you with a little excitement, eyes lighting up a little. Reneé watched your face with fondness on her own before the car began moving, driving away from the large building of your college. 

“How was your day?” Reneé spoke up after a couple of moments, her right hand resting a little more at the bottom of the steering wheel while her left one on top, her silver rings flashing when the sunlight reflected on them. Your gaze lingered on her hands for a moment before you blinked and looked up at the woman.

“What?” 

Reneé laughed softly and shook her head in amusement. “You’re adorable, babygirl” Her laughs died down slowly. “I asked about your day”

“Oh” You leaned back in your seat and shrugged your shoulders. “Good enough, I guess. Nothing special happened.”Reneé hummed softly, taking in the small amount of information. “Where did you plan on going, anyway?”

Her shoulders lifted up. “I’m not sure, we could just drive around like this” Her gaze shifted to you for a moment before looking back at the road. 

Your brows furrowed at her words. “Uh, I mean…we could but” You tilted your head at her. “That’s just boring”

Reneé laughed before humming. “Is it now?” She tutted and shook her head. “We can’t have that.”  She pauses for a second, looking a little lost in thought before speaking up again.”Alright, we can just buy a bunch of snacks and drinks and park in an empty parking lot and hang out” 

Your eyebrows shot up when she said that. Wait, that kind of sounds like a date? You shook your head a little before nodding when you caught her eyes. “Yeah, sounds nice”

Reneé smiles at you again and squeals a little. “Alrighty.”

–

And an endlessly long and tiring shopping trip later, the red muscle car was parked in an empty parking lot under one of the street lights, its orange hue reflecting on the shiny red paint of Reneé’s car while the two of you sat on the hood of it, the snacks and drinks between the two of you.

Your legs swung back and forth a little as you leaned your upper body weight on your hands behind you, looking out into the darkness in the distance.

“So,” You heard Reneé start, but you only hummed in response, eyes stuck in the distance. There was a moment of silence as Reneé looked at you. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something…” She paused and you hummed again. A long breath escaped her lips and she straightened up a little, turning her body towards yours. And when you felt her shift a little closer, your heart rate picked up. “Uhm…” Reneé swallowed hard as her own pulse quickened. 

“I love you” 

And although the words weren't unfamiliar coming from her mouth, this felt a little different and you couldn’t for the life of you explain why. So, after a moment you chuckled wryly and smiled. 

“I love you, too, Neé” 

Reneé scoffed audibly and rolled her eyes, hesitating for a moment before one of her hands reached out, ring clad fingers cupping your chin gently and turning your face towards her. “No, baby, I mean…” 

Your brows furrowed at her actions and you studied her expression, searching for an explanation. Reneé didn’t finish her sentence, instead, she leaned forward and your eyes widened. You felt her breath against your lips for a second before those soft pink lips pressed against yours. After a moment of thinking, you kissed back gingerly. 

You felt a soft breath leave Reneé’s nose, air tickling your skin. And your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned into her more, the kiss growing passionate, but still just the slightest bit held back, afraid. 

Reneé pulled back, your faces still mere millimeters apart and her eyes open at the same time as yours. As the pupils of her eyes dilated the small specks of brown around them faded a little, leaving just the deep blue seas staring back at you. And both of your gazes spoke volumes, no words needed as your lips crashed against each other again.

Your head tilted to the side while Reneé’s hand slid up from your chin, cupping your jaw gently. She pulled you closer, completely lost in the ecstasy of the feeling. But you didn’t mind, you were the same. You couldn’t seem to get enough of her plump lips against yours, your mind hazy, chest tingling as your heart thudded against it and your stomach filled with thousands of butterflies.

So you were more than friends after all.

Friends with feelings for each other. Feelings which seemed to have been held down for a long long time and burst out just at the same moment. And it felt good to finally have her lips against yours, her hand on your face was so soft you could have died on the spot happily.

Turns out, you love surprises.

✯ a/n: guys, how the fuck do you write fluffy kissing scenes??? 😭

REQUESTS OPEN<3

[haruchi-slit]

WHEN HE GO LOW, I GO LOWER!!

synopsis⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾:

You saw Satoru making out with a girl in the club and as your revenge you slept with his three friends :)

a/n: DONT MIND THE TITLE IDK WHAT TO NAME THIS BLOG I'M SORRY! Our wifi broke so i wrote this cause i was bored. I'm risking my digital footprint and my dignity (am i?) i personally think this is kind of cringe? cause of the pet names and detailed smuts i was literally laughing while writing this idk if i cooked this shit up or burnt it lmaoo

Warnings!!

Toji, Ryomen and Suguru are, like..26-29 in here..and Satoru is a very,very,very red flag boyfriend here if you're not good with that then shoo away. Grammmatical errors, typographical errors mdni, foursome, raw sex, use of rose toy, fingering, fisting, degrading, praisin, anal, etc.

"Have you seen Satoru's latest post?dang, so you gonna let him hook up with other girls?" Suguru clicked his tongue "tsk, he's a womanizer, you deserve better Y/n" he added as he shoved his phone to you.

"He said he'd change, so c'mon people change don't they?" you chuckled, and slightly tapped Suguru's phone away.

"eee, whatever you say, but don't come crying to us hon..we've already warned you." Ryomen snickered

"Stop with the yadayada and finish this f'me?" you rolled your eyes "besides he's going to take me on a date tonight."

"You're fucking delusional, sweetie" Toji said as he appeared out of nowhere,

"And you fucking scared me" Suguru laughed out.

"Whatever, im going home gonna get ready for me and m'love's date.."

"Yeah, sure whatever just come to us if he fucks up mhm?" Toji chuckled

"i don't care, I'm sure he won't fuck up tho" you responded and bid them goodbye.

You drove back to your house, unlocked your front door and got inside, it's already eight in the evening and Satoru said he'll pick you up at nine, you took a shower, dried your hair, did your hair just how he likes it, did your make up

in the best way possible, you wore your dark blue dress that compliments every curve and dips on your body. It's been a long time since the two of you dated and it's understandable with all the side chicks he's got, you still forgave him after all the things he has done to you. you prepared your bag, you put your lipstick, your card, your keys and of course your rose toy and also a condom in case the two of you get freaky and shit, while doing your make up you got a message from Satoru.

'Toru💙

-Something came up, can we move our date next week?

You hesitated to respond..but as a understanding girlfriend, you agreed of course you would, but because you already have your look and everything you decided to phone Shoko, and asked her to come over and go to the new club..and of course as the best girl, she agreed to come with you.

"Yeahh, im down this week had been fucking rough..i need to let out some steam eventually." she said

"yess, perfect be here at 10 I'll wait for you" you responded.

as you wait for her you scrolled thru your phone while eating the pineapples you cutted earlier cause you thought you and Satoru will have a blast tonight but he, as the damned boyfriend he is, he cancelled it and didn't even told you what "came up" while eating and scrolling on your phone for a while, you heard someone knocked on your door and you knew it was Shoko so you came rushing down to your hall and opened the door,

"Heyy, y/nnn~~" Shoko greets you with a warm smile, as you responded with a hug, "Shall we go now?" you asked "Of course!" she said. The two of you went to the club and wow, literally wow, very fucking ironic.

You saw Satoru in the club, making out with some chicks,

he's so fucked up now.

Shoko saw Satoru and marched towards him and gave him a very hard blow on his stomach, causing him to choke on his saliva.

"Fuck you, and fuck your sidechicks!" She then snatched a random man's drink and spilled it right on top of Satoru's and the girl's head,that left Satoru speechless. When she came back to you she noticed that you were no where to be seen, "Poor woman.." she sighed and tried to find you in the huge crowd in the club but she couldn't spot where you are. As for you, you we're rushing, running away far from the scene, too overwhelmed to stop from running thousands and thousands of thoughts in your mind,

"am I not good enough?, am I ugly?, am l replaceable?-" you snapped back into reality when you bumped into someone,

"Watch where you're going!" the man said, "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" you bowed down and ran to the nearest park.You sat down on the bench and called Ryomen.

"Ryomen, can you pick me up?, it's so loney out here" you sobbed,

"You guys are right he fucked up." you added.

"Aww~, turn on your location I'll pick you up we'll help you relieve your loneliness" Ryomen responded in the other line of the phone.

((⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠))

"Ah - i think it won't fit!", You jolted as you tried to fit you fist up to your ass,

"it'll fit hon, keep doing it..how'll you going to handle our dicks?" Toji whispered to your ear before he kissed your forehead. You nodded as you tried to relax your body, you drew your hand to your mouth to lubricate your hand so it'll be easier for you fist to glide thru,

"Good girl, keep doing it baby" Geto gave you a smug smirk as he tweaks your nipples, sucking it occasionally while he presses your rose toy deeper into your clit. Ryomen tucked your loose hair behind your ear. You bit your lower lips, "P- Please" you blurted out.

"Finish your words woman." Suguru sternly responded. "Please- hah!" you were cutted off when Suguru bit you left nipple,

"Please what, woman?"

"H-help me relieve my loneliness, by your c-cocks" you babbled.

"Should we comply to this poor woman's plea?" He asked, Toji and Ryomen, the two men gave you a teasing smirk, Toji lifted you up and laid you flat on your chest, on top of Ryomen facing his cock as he faces your pussy, "ass up" Toji said which you senselessly obeyed, he snapped his hips into your anal hole "mhmm!-" you jolted as he slowly picked up a pace, on the other hand, Ryomen is currently eating you out, spitting at your pussy only for him to suck his saliva back in his mouth, using his hand he spread your folds like damn book and thrusts his godly amazing tongue, he paused

"Honey, do you mind pleasing me?" you shook your head countless times due to the pleasure Ryomen and Toji is inflicting you.

You carefully guided your mouth to his cock

sucking it, gawking it up and down. Ryomen

chuckled sending vibrations to your clit , causing you to arch your back even more, you were a moaning mess, saliva drooling from your mouth, Suguru walked up infront of you

"Can you smile for the camera baby?, sending this to Satoru..gonna show him what he's missing", you paused from sucking Ryomen and looked up to the camera with your beautiful doe eyes and smiled widely, Suguru grabbed your hands and placed it to his cock which you understood and gave him a rub, he paused the recording and placed the phone down, sinful groans, moans and squelching sound filled Suguru's Condo "Sit up baby" Ryomen ordered, Toji pulled out and helped you sit up, you can barely feel your legs, you sat on top of Ryomen he slides his dick in your ass, as Suguru stood between your legs Suguru gave himself a few pumps before putting it in your pussy you loudly groaned "A-ahhgh!" Toji positioned himself beside you and grabbed your head onto his cock giving himself a deep throat, you can feel them twitching you knew that they were close as your pussy runs like waterfalls, spasming and squelching around their cocks. Make up completely ruined, Suguru grabbed his phone again and continued recording,

"B-baby,hngh-! look at the camera...Who's better, us or S-satoru?" you heard him asked as you struggled to babble and spit an answer due to the immense pleasure, "hgh-ah y-y-" you struggled "hmm?" he hummed teasing you. "YOU!" you spat "that's my girl" he smirked "All, a-all of you!" you added, "atta girl" Ryomen said as he quickened his pace, your tits, bouncing uncontrollably, you prepared your hips for your release,you were so close,

"Are you breaking up with him?" Ryomen asked

"Yes, ughh!"

"fuck" Suguru groaned, as he released thick white rope in you, painting your walls white,Ryomen also came after a few seconds, same as Toji.

"You heard her, she's breaking up with you." Toji chuckled as Suguru ended the recording, afterwards he sent it to Satoru.

Ryomen and Suguru pulled their dicks out of you, your pussy completely puffed,red and full of semen, Suguru focused the camera on your cunt that's currently oozing with tons of semen he spread out your folds and focused it on your entrance, clenching and spasming around nothing.

a/n: this took me 8 days to finish, I was procrastinating lmfaoo bye see ya!!🪼

[rfdiscoursethrowaway]

alr fucker ill bite

im trying 2 understand the absolute fuckin brainrot that is terf ideology solely so i can explain to people who actually want to make an effort to not be bigoted not fall into your pipelines. i do this already. but i wanna be more thorough and get screenshots and examples for specific questions. ill do a lil back and forth, but you wont be convincing me that all trans women are pedos n rapists and that we need to detransition people en mass and that trans people are delusional. i have a series of questions, if you consider yourself a terf please try and actually answer them, in a way that actually explains your thought process and isnt just calling me slurs because thats most of the discourse on this site. -------

how do you mentally justify the contridiction in "male and female brains have no difference and women are just as capable as men" (true and real) and "men are fundimentally more violent/ women less violent" besides just blatently liking sexism so long as it hurts men and not women (blatently harmful and bigoted just with a #girlpower coat of paint)

if its a socialization issue, how does female seperatism nessisarily help that? shouldnt the goal then to not treat women as an other, and to not define people based on biological characteristics? while biological differences exist they dont affect your mental or phisical capabilities in anything (in regards to biological sex atleast). wouldnt it be more helpful to treat it as simply a medical thing? like a blood type or something? and treat genital preference as just the same as any other random aesthetic preference in partners like, idk, liking fat people or likeing brown hair what is it about gender based oppression that makes you think that its the men that are the problem and not the whole gender thing, because its men thinking that women are fundimentally different alien creatures because we literally define people by their genitals and constantly talk about how your genitals make you fundimentally different then the "opposite". an ACTUALLY HELPFUL soution should be talking about how like, yeah! some of us look different, but thats like? fine? we are people. who cares whats in that person pants. and if your answer is that thats unrealistic and will require hundreds of years of societal change (true) why is your approach to double down on men and women being fundimentally different and not to like? work? twards something objectively better and less discriminatory? most of what terfs are known for is bigotry and thats not some crazy coincidence, its because your sexism (though you love to label it otherwise) naturally leads to transphobia. its because the core of your ideology is bigotry. women shouldnt be discriminated against cuz you are? fucking people? with the exact same capabilities, you do not deserve more/less praise more/less accountablitity more/less agency. infact id argue that this bending over backwords to try and exclude people you deem as men is why radfems are so much more of a pushover to conservatives. your willingness to go on and on about how biological differences make you a fundimentally different person just so you can rant about how men are all ugly evil penis havers just lets you be suseptible to violent reactionary shit by conservatives. regardless of where you come from politically, this applies to BOTH of us, if you refuse to really think deeply and critically about why you hate the things you do and why you like the things you do, and instead operate on gut reactions and absorbing politics from people on tumblr SOMEONE from SOME IDEOLOGY is always trying to take advantage of that. and transphobia IS violent reactionary shit, most the time i see transphobia especially against trans women its based entirely on appearance, people jumping all over themselves to body shame her for not being enough of a woman, talking about how gross and disgusting she is for wearing a dress or for having a deeper voice. why is this body shaming ok so long as you deem someone a man? attatching morality to appearance is just a blatently bad idea and its frankly gross how little so many of you are willing to critique that.

-----

whats your explaination for the tonal dissonance between "i dont want trans people dead and im not violent" and painting trans women as "always being men with terrible intentions who cosplay as women to have an excuse to rape and assault people"

because while you may not directly say "i think all trans people should be murdered" and you do it in a roundabout way with "all trans people are rapists and all rapists should be murdered" that does still say "i think all trans people should be murdered", just with extra steps. and are you aware that this is the exact retoric used by colonizers to justify genocide and slavery? painting black people as "savages and rapists"? whats your justification for painting a large group of people as fundimentally evil and violent, and how nessasarily is it somehow different then the retoric used to oppress any other marginalized group? + if its a "but im right!" consider this is also what a rapist or an antisemite or a mysogenist would say, and why you are parroting the exact same thing. like do you genuinely actually think that having a boy brain, or more testosterone, or a penis, makes you a rapist and a pedofile? really? and again if you agree with me that its a socialization issue why! dont you! treat it that way!! if you mean one thing, SAY THAT! and FIGURE OUT WITCH ONE OF THOSE YOU BELIEVE. because you cant fuckin have it both ways! if you wanna say that we shouldnt be treating women as stupid vile little vagina having worms (real and true) then like, you cant ALSO be like oh i also think we should be treating men as stupid vile little penis having worms >:) hehe i am so progressive and counter culture ignore all the horrific damage that catagorizing people like that has had i think it will be funny when we do it with men you see.

-----

what is with this insistance that people define themselves based on whats in their pants, like if having a pussy is just having a pussy thats fuckin fine alr but if you start insisting that people make that their ENTIRE PERSONALITY and that if you have one you HAVVVEEEE to have only a specific subsection of names and you HAVEEEE to be called a woman and use she/her and shit

like girl it is just words, who gives a fuck, if a guy says hey i wanna change my name to this girl name cuz it sounds cool as fuck its like! yea! hell yeah brother! and if hes like actually i prefer more feminine words to refer to me :) its like! hell yeah sister! how does that hurt fuckin anyone. is using words so hard 4 u. and before you be like ooOOuuyhghhg IM NOT DEFINING PEOPLE BASED ON THEY ARE PUSSY how is catagorizing people based on their chromosomes / genitals / appearance (and lets be honest here. its mostly appearance but you use chromosomes and genitals so you can pretend theres some kind of science proving that youre right, there is no chromosome detector 3000 for real life) not flattening them? like genuinely how the fuck do you justify that. you have to go to a different bathroom you have to go to a different doctors office you have to go to a different sports team all because i assume that your chromosomes and your genitals make you eaither unsafe or violent or constantly in need of protection and fundimentally less capable. terfs love to constantly insist that gender is whatever and then constantly try to force people to define themselves by their biological sex? why is whats in MY pants any of your fucking buisness? unless im at a gynocology appointment you dont need to know shit. all of this girlsgirlsgirlsgirls stuff what if you dont wanna be called a fuckin girl? what if i find it weird that you profile people and assume things about them because of their body? if gender is whatever why do you HAVE to be a male or a female. why do i have to fucking put my biology out on display for people to assume things about me based on? because i KNOW you assume things based on peoples biological sex and i KNOW you think more or less of people based on their biological sex thats half the ideology! why do you think every trans women is a sexist mysogenist who woke up one day at 24 and decided she was gonna be a girllll and wear dresses so she could opress woemennn moreeeee, why do you assume all trans men were groomed and exploited and brainwashed into thinking that theyre boys because of mysogeny and not cuz sometimes? being called a dude feels good? having a dick feels good? having a flat chest feels good? using he him or whatever the fuck feels good??? rad fem shit is just, sexism repackadged, do you never see the similarities? do you never see the fine print? that the core ideology is the same? this is just mysogeny again! like women are always the victim and men are always the perpetraitor. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency women do bad things because theyre dumb and men do bad things because they had a good reason to. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency please explain how that ISNT just the same mysogenist veiwpoints with a hashtag girlboss coat of paint. and this isnt me projecting mysogenistic right wing ideas onto you, i wrote all this stuff while looking through "radfem101" "terf reference guide" "things TRA's need to get thru their heads" posts. theres a reason people get them confused, ive been told these exact same things time and time again by alt rights and conservatives and mysogenists. so witch are you? why do you agree on so much?

-----

how do you deal with the whole, not wanting womens genitals to be constantly policed and have that be all that defines them (true and real) and the very real fact that there is no chromosome detector 3000 and if you want to create "female only spaces" you realistically are eaither going to have to subject billions of women on a daily basis to sexual harrassment to see if they are "real women" or do it just based on appearance. witch is enevitibly going to cause a disproportionate ammount of hate and violence twards black, gnc, and intersex women for not being "women" enough. something that is already happening, because trying to give rigid requirements for what looks like a woman and what looks like a man is always going to impact these groups disproportionately, you know its gonna be based off of like a white skinny cis girl! and uh! not all women are that!

and assuming there is a chromosome dectector 3000 in the future, a) intersex people b) trans men exist, and while im sure you can argue day and night about how they arent real men and phallo dicks are just a mutilated skin tube or whatever half of what you guys talk about is how you feel unsafe being in the same bathroom as someone who "looks like a dude" and who has a penis. considering the strictness in needing 100% gender conformity in trans women im sure the exact same people wouldnt be comfortable with a trans guy eaither, if youd feel ok just so long as they had the right reading on the chromosome dectector 3000 then all this talk about trans women being violent cuz penis and body hair and testosterone is just bullshit. and sense terfs love to play hypotheticals with 100% cis dudes just telling people theyre girls so they can get through the female bathroom security (a thing that totally exists believe me guys) (and also yeah telling a police officer that youre "just a trans girl" would totally actually help you in a legal case dont google trans panic defence shhhhhh its ok its ok, statistics you dont read from "xxvaginawomxngirlfucker" arent real its ok,,) couldnt a cis dude just lieeee about being a trans man? whos saying nobody can lie about my chromosome detector 3000 score! are you gonna put a bouncer in the female bathroom security gates? and like, where do trans people even pee then. we just rename the mens bathroom to the trannies and mysogenists room? the biologically more violent room? yeah lets shove a bunch of little intersex girls into the violent mysogenists room, she had body hair and a harsher jawline and that scared me so im lumping her into the room with all the people i think are pedos and rapists, she will feel totally ok about this and this wont effect her perception of herself, this wont enforce gender roles and make women having a complex about being feminine enough worse. women can be anything! except anything i think looks like a guy. so women can be feminine and nothing else :) but women can be anything i put in this super limiting box! i genuinely cannot imagine a world where this doesnt dramatically worsten sexual phisical and emotional violence against literally everyone.

and to say again. im not looking for quirky rebloggable snapbacks to each of my points i want you 2 put an equal ammount of effort as i did scrolling terflandia and writing all this up. so dont just call me a delusional tr-nny i want you to give me like. atleast a little substance here. something to chew and bite and pick apart

[skoulsons]

Alright, you know what time it is. Scrambled, incoherent episode 4 thoughts

This episode took me three hours to watch and it was 45 minutes. is that any indication how insane i am.

CANT SKIP OPENING CREDITS <3

oooh okay so she’s practicing a bit. Hopefully she doesn’t actually fire

she looks so nervous

NOT THE PEW PEWS

THE EYE SWITCHING 😭 I’ve done that at the range before

These sets always look so good

“Back in the day, we’d drive 10-12 hours on one tank” “So where’d you go?” “Pretty much nowhere” Hmmm probably taking Sarah to all those museums in Texas :(

HER SMILE WHILE HE EXPLAINS THE SIPHON

“You don’t know :)” “I know it works 😑”

NO WANDERING. what a dad move. Dad count #1

NO NOT THE PUN BOOK 😭😭

HE LOOKS SO LOST

“Feel free to wait in the truck” he’s so annoyed 😭 mmm dad count #2

“I want to see a tank” no baby you do not not in these times

THE TAPE 🥹

her squeezing up next to him 🕳👩‍🦯 READY TO CRY MY FRIENDS

“This is actually before my time” “right” dad count #3

AW HELL YEAH

I WAS SO UPSET THEY WOULD REMOVE THIS SCENE

“Oh, no no no. Put that back that’s not for kids. Ellie. Please get rid of it” dad count #4

The shoulder slap 💀

ALONE AND FORSAKEN BY FATE AND BY MAN OH LORD IF YOU HEAR ME PLEASE HOLD MY HAND

whoa there still being cattle is really surprising to me?? I feel like they’d be gone by now

oh wow look at all the military stuff

that shot with the train falling off the bridge is beautiful

oh hell yeah is it camping time

YEAHH

their tiny cookware

IS THAT CHEF BOYARDEE RAVIOLI

Him asking her to slow down. Dad count #5

“I actually agree” chef boyardee stuff was my favorite food as a kid. Their beefaroni was all I ate

“So can we start a fire? I’m freezing.” “Now why am I gonna tell you ‘no’?” Dad count #6

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that (robbing)” still insinuating he was a hunter for a time

does she tell him goodnight. please.

THE ONE THAT SMELLS GOOD IS FRANKS 😭

not the pun book 😭

he looks like he will not sleep :/ (what a great parallel to end of episode them)

“…Joel?”

“Joel!” “What?” “Can I ask you a serious question?” “Yeah.” *proceeds to tell a pun*

DOES HE LAUGH. I saw a spoiler saying he laughs.

L IT TLE MAN SMILED LOOK AT HIS SMILE (how naive I was to think this was the laugh)

Dad count #7

“No one’s gonna find us?” “No one’s gonna find us.” REASSURANCES mmm dad count #8

does he ever sleep :/ hes gonna stay up to keep watch isn’t he

yup

coffee <3

“You don’t like coffee?” Joel please try to sound more offended

the falling backwards she does 😭

“Smells like burnt shit” *proceeds to slurp it just to annoy her* dad count #9 for sure

“Shi-enne” “Cheyenne” “Chey- really?”

Her questions about Tommy 😭

Every scene I get of them now just reminds me of their winter scene and my brain melts a little more

I am thirteen minutes in and it’s been?? 45 minutes of watching??

OOH WERE GETTING TO KNOW??

okay okay so Tommy convinced Joel to join a group that moved to Boston. So that’s how he got there, good to know. “Mostly to keep an eye on him. Keep him alive” we love big brothers. “That’s where we meet Tess.” yo so Tommy knows Tess that’s cool. “And that whole crew, we uh….well for what it was, it worked. Then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him in to joining the ‘fireflies’. Same mistake he made when he was 18. Wants to save the world…Fireflies all delusional.” mmm thank you for giving me another scene to dissect and think about for the next week. Joel “let’s keep our histories to ourselves” Miller

and he looks like he’s getting emotional too :/

IM NOT FAMILY NOPE YOURE CARGO AND I MADE A PROMISE TO TESS. AND SHE WAS LIKE FAMILY!! SHUT UP. man is still holding on so strong to this. LET YOURSELF CARE

“I’m not even tired” 🫶🏻

YES AND THEY CHANGED HIS ARM POSITION TOO. i love details

Oh here we go

oh okay no not quite hunters yet

the proximity in the truck im gonna throw up

“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” *exasperated sigh* dad count #10

HUNTERS?

oh man those bodies

oh now here we go

Damn no he ain’t even hurt but that’s fine

Jay you were pretty damn close

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt? Nothing?” DAD COUNT #11

SHES SO CLOSE TO HIM WKFHEIDGE

“They’re not gonna hit you. Look at me. They’re not gonna hit you” dad count #12 :)

YEAH what a good shot

I THOUGHT TJAYVWAS JOEL OH

YUP THERES A THIRD GUY I KNEW

so then Ellie shoots this guy n saves Joel right

the hitting him in the face with the butt of his gun 🤩

NOT THE STRUGGLING LEGS?(?;?

okay okay she did it we’re good

The absolute silence from joel and yet it tells so much

“Get back behind the wall” while i stab this guy so you don’t have to see so I can try my best to preserve your innocence despite you just shooting a man and how angry I am because I am a father and you don’t deserve to live in a world like this and experience these things. Dad count #13?

her wiping her tears away quickly 💀 me a little too often

Is he about to give his tongue lashing to her

HE SLAMMED THE DOOR AND I JUST PAUSED HES GONNA BE SO PISSED?? im scared to continue I need to calm down a sec

okay. calm.

panicked for nothing he was just rushing over to move the desk back. anyway

she’s trying to keep him from talking about it 😭

“Stay close.” throwback to Tess telling Ellie that in ep1. Anyway dad count #14

The protective hand reach out™

oh shoot it’s the woman

Kathleen

okay so who is Henry then (HI IM DUMB AS FUCK TOTALLY BLANKED ON HENRY. ABSOLUTELY 100% BLANKED. post episode me is much clearer on all this so ignore how dumb I am)

So she’s got a personal vendetta that went too far or something?

“I delivered you. I held you in my hands. I never told them anything about your brother.” Hmmm interesting

So Kathleen’s brother was breaten to death for some reason. This man, who I guess knows both of them, never told ‘them’ (fireflies? Hunters?) about her brother, but a man named Henry did. So Kathleen is trying to get info from this guy about Henry I guess. Whoever Henry is. Or whoever her brother is. I don’t know I’m confused

“I’m your doctor” is this man gonna be THE doctor? Maybe not? Or does she have something wrong that she needs a doctor for so she can’t lose him?

JEFFREY PIERCE. man he didn’t change his voice at all

DAMN she just shot him

wow that is. a lot of trucks.

GUN SAFETY LESSON?

his head in his hands 😭 poor man needs a break

ARE YOU OKAY??;!;? HELLO??;!;? nothing could’ve prepped me for that

“Im alright.” Man, when was the last time he was genuinely asked that :( he looks like he hasn’t been asked that in ten years

NOT HIS VOICE BEING SHAKY “are you.. alright?” FUCK OFF. you think he’s hesitant to say it because he don’t actually want to care if she is because he’s still trying to not get attached. Anyway dad count #15

i fucking LOVE these two DAMN. Definitely gonna have this scene on repeat for the next week

Alright get the unspoken stuff out of the way please don’t sit in the awkward silence

“Thing is, is…I didn’t hear that guy comin’. You shouldn’t have had to have…y’now?” “Well, you’re glad I did, right?” “Well, you’re just a kid. You shouldn’t know what it means to…It’s not like you killed him, but, shooting a…i know what it’s like. First time that you uh, hurt someone like that. If you uh…im not good at this.” “Yeah, you really aren’t.” “I mean it was my fault! You shouldn’t have had to. AND IM SORRY” HODHS LEAVE ME ALONE JUST FUCKING STOMP MY HEAD INTO THR CURB PLEASE.

her wiping her face :(

“It wasn’t my first time” :(

GUN SAFETY SCENE GUN SAFETY SCENE. Dad count #16 for this whole sequence

her smile :)

him moving closer to her :)

a very good grip

this is so domestic. how does anyone sit and watch this and not lose their mind.

PROXIMITY IS MY BEST FRIEND <3

HANDS HANDS HANDS. we know how much I love hands. GOD I LOVE HANDS

HES SO GENTLE. I deserve to be in a mental asylum please I can’t even contain any thought to even write them out

him trying to tug it out of her hands 😭 WHY COULDNT THE CAMERA PAN TO HIM I KNOW HE WAS SMILING

“Okay?” And she’s just :D

an error occurred this is not the time

He literally did not have to keep his hands on hers for that long. but I am not one to complain

SHE LOOKS SO EXCITED WATCHING HIM 😭

“Nuh uh, you put it in your pack. You’ll shoot your damn ass off.” He knows she’s trigger happy. Dad count #17? 😭

THE GRUNT AS HES GETTING UP

“We’ll get through this.” “I know.” 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 REASSAURANCES 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Jeffrey looks beautiful I will say

OH NO HENRY AND SAM??

oh it’s gotta be I remember that one trailer shot showing Sam around some drawings

OH? Oh they know who they are? Wow

“Henry won’t let Sam starve” oh man I’m not excited at all for next episode

BLOATER?? BLAOTERv??!, BLOATER?5?3$44

ITSLFNRLFHFKD A BOOST UP

A JEOLAND ELLIE BOST UP YOURE KIDDING

game mechanics in live action makes me happy

JOEL AND ELLIE BOOST UP!!!!

“You’re just gonna put your foot here.” “Okay.” “One, two…” “oh shit, oh shit.” “Straighten up, I gotcha.”🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 living my best life right now. What is that dad count #18

“I gotcha” being Joel’s thing. I cant wait to hear him say it more

“Where would you be without me, huh?” “By now, Wyoming.” “Oh yeah, walked into that one.”

“We’re going up 42 flights?” “45. But no, not all the way.” “How far?” “As far as I can make it.” i love how old he is

THE SCORE <3

Them slowing down 😭

OH SHIT I DIDNT THINK WED GET THE CONVO

“Hey, you know that guy who said he was hurt? How’d you know it was an ambush?” “I been on both sides.” “It was a long time ago. We did what we needed to survive.” “You and Tess?” “And the people we were with. My brother, too.” “Did you kill innocent people?” :(

That “c’mon” sounds so much like the one in tlou2 in that flashback where they find those two Jackson kids and they have that little argument

HIM SLIDING DOWN THE WALL TO SIT 😭

kicking his feet 😭 “c’mon” “gimme a minute” “get up, you lazy ass” “‘lazy ass’. I’m 56 years old you little shit” HRIFHEKD I LOVE THEM SONMUCH

“Joel? Joel? Joel?!” “What? 😡”

“Oh I get it. Crunch crunch crunch”

“Well, goodnight :)”

“Yeah, goodnight -_-“

AW

“Hey. When we were talking about hurtin’ people…what did you mean it wasn’t your first time?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Oh how the turn tables.

HIM TURNING OVER TO TALK TO HER

“You don’t have to. I’m just saying…it isn’t fair. Your age. Having to deal with all of this…” “So it gets easier when you get older?” “No, not really. But still.”

“The reason I asked if you’d hear the glass or not is cause I’ve noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side. Is it cause you were shot there?” “Probably more from shooting. So if you want to keep your hearing you better stick to that knife.”

“Joel?” “Hm?” This is perhaps the biggest dad thing he’s done all episode.

HES TRYINF SO HARD TO FIGHT THE SMILE. NOT HIM AXTUALLT FUCKING LAUGHING. HE FUCKING LAUGHED. HE LAUHJED.

“That is so goddamn stupid.” “You laughed, motherfucker!” “I didn’t laugh.” “Yes, you did!” “Jeez, I’m losing it.”

NOT THEM GIGGLING TOHEYEHR. I’m getting chills what the fuck. they’re giggling together.

“Go to sleep.” “You go to sleep!”

I have. the biggest grin on my face.

I know he slept soundly that night. I KNOW he had the best sleep he’s had in a while. and it’s all bc he went to her giggling with this girl he very obviously does not care about and has no fatherly affection towards whatsoever

HENRYBAND SAM <3 cant wait for next episode heartbreak

[enha-stars]

me before reading: oh, man. here we go. i'm almost eight months late but i had to work up the courage to read this. let's gaur (i'm paralyzed)

me after reading: my dna has been altered. the very structure has been modified. my hair is thicker, eyes shinier. my soul has been cleansed. good lord, it's over.

WHERE THE FUCK DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS AKJSALBDHKDLA FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF IM SICK.

the beginning was actually quite literally insane. explaining jong's lore; his family history and parental relationships was done so well, so beautifully, it felt like i was reading the beginning of a novel.

THE UNIVERSITY BIT?? YOU'RE 🫵🏽 DONE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? what do you mean he built such strong bonds with hoon and jaeyun? random road trips??? LOOS OF GENUINE CARE AND AFFECTION??? SOMEONE FUCKING SEDATE ME RIGHT NOW

i can't breathe. what is this. stella, be quiet. don't talk to me. you're texting me rn and i am having a mental break down good bye.

making jong have daddy issues and a beautiful relationship with his mother-- you want me dead. confirmed. everyone! listen here!! stella wants enha-stars dead!!!

jong is such a hard worker i can't. ceo jay forever, actually.

he wanted his father to see the man he grew to be 😃 k guess i'll be sad forever idk (W mother)

Jongseong’s mother sacrificed years of her work to raise him to the best of her ability while his dad was working day and night to hopefully see his company see the light of success, during those years his mother was the first and only person to know and acknowledge jongseong’s passion for fashion designing.

k. like. why would you do this to me shawty

JONG AS A FASHION DESIGNER??? LET ME GIVE YOUR KISS A BRAIN PLEASE HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE IDEAS AKHDKDAFB ending it all.

assigning jake as the head.... yeah, he ATE. hoon as the assistant is so fucking funny like i know they beef so hard please. i love the way men love.

jong being in love at first sight is so real and valid and i am so delusional i need to be sedated. i need him so bad 😭

i actually can't talk about jongseong being in love. stella, i don't know what kind of drug you put into this writing, but the way i was gripping my sheets, at the brink of tears because he's such a lover boy.... googly moogly, man. it's over.

jong designing things for his girl....... chelsea call an ambulance, bruv.

something about a healthily possessive man will always do it for me. wdym he kissed my temple? TO SHOW FUCK ASS YEONJUN???? thank you, good God.

blow job at the back of the car? sign me up!

“come on angel girl, touch me"

this sent me. this had me throwing up, reeling over in lust. legs shook. hands froze. eyes widened. what do you mean. angel girl.... what if i was insane. TOUCH ME?????????? i need to go pray idk

jongseong opened his eyes to a sight that will knock his breath out of his lungs, if only you knew you heavenly you looked with your eyes teary, cheeks flushed red and your lips swollen, coated with a sheen layer of his cum as you looked up at him with your twinkling gaze

bro is so in love i have to die. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KNOCKED HIS BREATH OUT OF HIS LUNGS??????????? BRO IS A SIMP?? (my type fr) gosh, we're so beautiful (bedsheets were changed. i had to take a walk. played basketball with my brother for a minute)

the entire scene with jong watching the runway show on his phone... i giggled. i had to punch a wall. it was so funny bro, wdym hoon is fighting the employee and jongseong is giggling and blushing because of his girl???

LOSERRRRR 🫵🏽🫵🏽🫵🏽 i need him so bad

Jongseong felt heat spread all over his body, heart thundering against his ribs as he attempted to suppress a wide smile from spreading across his blushing face

i have to fuck bro silly. what is this. HOW IS HE SO CUTE?? SO ADORABLE??

Jongseong was never a religious man. Yet he desperately attempted to understand why the deities above struggled and refused to give him someone whom he could cherish and love, he swore he had enough love to give.

ENOUGH. i feel like someone has taken my heart out of my chest and twisted it, then continued to stomp on it. never a religious man... i love religious imagery so much this has me fucked up. i know he has the biggest heart and my gosh am i glad he gets to love someone immensely. ALSO??? HE SWORE HE HAD ENOUGH LOVE TO GIVE???? IM GONNA KILL MYSELF IN YOUR BEDROOM WHAT

love at first sight 😵‍💫 big bad ceo blushing 😵‍💫 i can't. jong giggling. i need to hit something. i feel so overwhelmed right now. stella, trust, you WILL pay for this.

jonseong being grumpy because he hasn't seen his lover in so long is so real and true and valid and i need my man like this. how can i have ceo lover boy jongseong.

“Baby, i need you to sit on my face right now.” he spoke against your neck

i did NAWT survive this bit. jongseong x face sitting.... bye. just, bye. i need to change my panties bro what the fuck. HE IS SO IN LOVE? certified munch and i love it. this entire scene was written so beautifully, stel. you should be so proud. the way i could see everything, FEEL everything. i'm taking melatonin tonight so i can live this exact scene.

“Please use me, I need you to use me, cum all over my face.” He nearly whimpered, tongue messily slipping in and out of you before he pulled away to suckle on your aching clit, his words bewitching you entirely

GULP. GULP, loudly. DIES. desperate, loser, in love jay.... WHIMPERING??? YOU KNOW IM A SLUT FOR WHIMPERING MEN GOOD BYEEEEE THIS IS FOR MEEEEE

"angel girl" killing myself.

HE CUMMED IN HIS PANTS LIKE A LOSER? i need him so bad. please. ceo by day, desperate pussy drencher by night.

i actually feel so emotional right now. the way you write their relationship.... jongseong is so in love and he cares so deeply and she's so in love and finds comfort in him i am GONE.

the whole red carpet scene.... the individual jealousy and the love and care. i need to give your mind a kiss. please. it'll be tender, i promise.

y/n winning, hell yeah.

“And I would love to thank my beloved husband, park jongseong—“ and just like that his ears began ringing again, his surroundings suddenly slowing down once more.

SHES SO ME, BYE. I TOO WOULD CALL HIS MAN MY HUSBAND. TO CLAIM HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONEEEE YUPPPP. i know his heart dropped to his anus. they're so in love. the 'congrats wifey" yup i died

the whole ending scene..... what more do you want from me, shawty.

Yet none of these photos could amount the beauty that he saw whenever you were under him, the beauty that he knew he caused. With your flushed face gazing at him so prettily, begging him and needing him to do anything. Not one single photographer can catch the expression of pure love and lust that he got to saw beneath him every single night, you looked mesmerising.

okay. enough. you've shot me and now you're dragging my corpose around. oh to be loved by jongseong.

But gosh the sight of your back arching beautifully in front of him, your head throwing back revealing your heaving chest clad in a flimsy lingerie with broken moans of his name along with a glistening sheen layer of sweat casting on your body enticingly, made you look absolutely divine in his eyes.

deadass, i feel warm all over. cheeks flushed, drool everywhere.

The urge to thank the deities above for allowing your paths to cross at that current moment was difficult to ignore, you didn’t notice the quiet gasp leaving his mouth at the sight of you, unaware of the way the mere view of you bathing in complete pleasure and delight unlocked something carnal, something animalistic in him that pushed him in a frenzy of thrill and bliss.

THE PARALLELS???? HIS GASP AT THE SIGHT OF YOU???????

“Did I fuck you dumb, doll? It’s okay you know I’ll take care of you, angel. I’ve got you, hm?”

just stab me through the eye. DOLL???? ILL TAKE CARE OF YOU???? IVE GOT YOU???? the constant "i got you" has me reeling. i need a man like this. actually, this IS my man. (not delulu at all)

THE VELVET BOX???? THE RING????? i need to lay down.

PARK JONGSEONG — TOUCH ME, FEEL ME.

— “come here and put it on my face, it’s like you know how good you taste.”

PAIRING: ceo!jay x model fem!reader (+17)

FEATURING… heeseung, jaeyun, sunghoon & sunoo (enhypen), ningning (aespa), yeonjun (txt), nicholas (&team).

WARNINGS: my third attempt at slight fluff, reader obv works in the modelling industry, making out, unprotected sex, oral (f & m), lots of kissing and make out sessions, usage of toys, jay is in love (sickeningly), soft dom jay !! dumbification, overstimulation (I can’t remember anymore pls tell me if I missed any)

WORD COUNT. 15.6k (HUH)

SYNOPSIS: a sneak peak into the life of Seoul’s most popular CEO along with the top model of the country.

៹ — A,NOTE. this is unfortunately NOT PROOFREAD / EDITED entirely, some sections are while some aren’t so pls pls ignore all grammatical errors / typos made as im finishing this off at 6 am without sleep and will be fixing it up tmrw <3 (pls pls read a,note 2 at the end !!)

— this one’s directed to my dearest hana for being there at 4 am to simp over jay (& hee but shhh) together + all my tall engenes bcs i hear u, i see u and i feel u baby. (and all my jay girlies too)

Park jongseong is a very busy man.

Presenting himself as a busy, workaholic and paperwork obsessed man was considered the norm in his building. The unhealthy attachment jongseong had to his office— specifically to his desk was one that raised eyebrows at South Korea’s most popular Chief Executive Officer.

The Park Corp. that his father generously built a stable foundation for back when he was still a young adult navigating his way through the business industry was now passed down to his trusted son in hopes of extending their empire all over the continent.

Hence the reason as to why the phrase “Park Jongseong was destined for success” rang throughout the young ceo’s ears within every vicinity his feet graced, yet jongseong couldn’t completely wrap his head around his ‘success’

In his younger years, he believed the life of luxury and success that he lived was considered normal. That was until he pursued a degree outside of his birth country and had to settle in a small apartment— taking care of his own self without the help of any maids that he had grown accustomed to back at home.

Jongseong could still remember his father’s constant pestering to change his mind, his father could’ve bought him the university he was studying at yet jongseong insisted on an average, one bedroom apartment in a semi-safe neighbourhood for his education by using the excuse of building up his experience.

Easily, his university years became his favourite. He was allowed his first taste of the average life, the normal one. where he was given the privilege to form friendships and bonds with people whom didn’t beg for his attention while staring directly into his pockets. The first taste of his own cooked meals when he got severely sick after a random takeout from a sketchy restaurant.

His first ever friend group flourished in front of his eyes without disappearing after a few months. His two bestfriends— Park Sunghoon along with Sim Jaeyun effortlessly altered his whole point of view on life, with unexpected rendezvous to grocery stores past midnight, random road trips after finishing their mind numbing exams, unexpected deep conversations about life that took place on the floor of jongseong’s apartment and the look of genuine care and affection in sunghoon and jaeyun’s eyes, jongseong felt normalcy.

He felt protected, he felt loved. Sure he was born to very caring parents, yet at his young age, he easily was able to tell the importance of work to his father when he would randomly disappear for weeks without any warning— leading jongseong to call him usually on the fourth day of his absence to ask when he was intending on returning.

“I can’t return yet son, our next meeting with The Kim’s company is scheduled in a week.” Or some other company meeting that was considered more important than jongseong’s own need of his presence in his life by miles.

He understood his father’s side perfectly now that he was placed in his exact position, the importance of work, meetings and the worry of the small voice in the back of his head grumbling about the possibility of failure and losing decades worth of his, his father’s and his grandfather’s hard work.

Yet with the headache that was splitting his head into two separate halves the longer he stared at his papers— the sight of the letters turning into gibberish along with his wrist’s automatic turn to land his signature on the papers, he couldn’t help but think ‘was it that hard?’ surely his father could have returned back for a few hours to watch his son shape himself into the man he grew to be— to comfort him during the days where he would have difficulty at school or problems with his friend, to see him accept his diploma.

Well, his father couldn’t. While his mother on the other hand decided to surprise her son after claiming that she had to join his father on a business trip when she stood up in the middle of the crowd to clap proudly when he went atop the stage, resulting in a bewildered and shocked jongseong to shake hands with his principal who was aggressively slapping his back while jongseong was staring in disbelief into his mother’s tear filled eyes with his own misty ones.

It was safe to say that jongseong had always had a healthier relationship with his mother than his father, it was thanks to her brilliant idea to open up the first branch dedicated to fashion under The Park Corp. that jongseong’s entire life changed.

Jongseong’s mother sacrificed years of her work to raise him to the best of her ability while his dad was working day and night to hopefully see his company see the light of success, during those years his mother was the first and only person to know and acknowledge jongseong’s passion for fashion designing.

The memory of his mother praising a doodle of a dress that he had made when his age was still in singular digits was imprinted in his mind, from her approval of the colour he chose to pointing out almost unnoticeable mistakes with certain parts of the ruffles along the shoulders— his mother shaped his fashion designing skills as he improved tremendously, a fire lighting up in his heart for designing pure art.

Though this new branch under his company meant more excessive work, more sleepless nights and less breaks. Jongseong made the decision to pull one of his joker cards that he was blessed with— Sim Jaeyun.

Assigning Jaeyun as the head of the branch was undoubtedly one of the best decisions he had made, the sight of jaeyun’s shocked eyes gazing at his own serious ones as he proposed the idea to his best friend was one that he will always remember vividly,

“Are you serious?” Jaeyun breathed out, his stare so intense on jongseong’s as he tried to unravel every and each layer of his expression in search of one tinge that would confirm his suspicions of this whole proposal being an entire joke, yet he spotted none.

when the burst of laughter from jongseong never arrived, fully leaving no room for jokes while the unexpected silence from Jaeyun was beginning to concern jongseong— Jaeyun threw himself into jongseong’s arms in complete relief and appreciation.

And at jaeyun’s shaky whisper of “Thank you so much.” Into his ear, jongseong knew he made a great decision.

His love for this decision only increased day by day as his assistant was now showing him photos of the newly casted models that jaeyun had signed, some models had already contacted the agency while others were radio silent, jongseong was paying attention to every word coming out of his assistant’s mouth till his finger swiped to a picture of a girl outside of a cafe,

“Who’s this?” Jongseong questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in focus at the back profile of the woman who was facing away from the camera, “Her name is y/n, she’s yet to contact us back—“ “where did you see her?” Jongseong cut him off,

His assistant, Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as jongseong never questioned the locations he was casting his models from— hell he barely even had time to know about jaeyun casting models let alone who they are, and now he’s suddenly asking where you’re from?

“The newly opened cafe, I don’t have her email yet— “ “then find it and sent it to me.” Jongseong interrupted once again resulting in sunghoon glaring at him for cutting him off, he huffed once he noticed jongseong was reaching for his phone, clearly displaying to sunghoon his annoyance.

“Why are you suddenly inter—“ “your break’s over.” Sunghoon had to bite his tongue from saying anything back to his best friend whom he sometimes forgot was also his boss as he closed the door to jongseong’s office behind him after he walked out.

And that was the day that jongseong’s life took another shift into a positive direction, the day where he decided to increase sunghoon’s paycheck for street casting you, for spotting you and bringing you into his life.

Here was jongseong now, approximately two years after establishing one of the most successful modelling agencies in the continent under jaeyun’s control, sitting in his office chair eating the lunch you had prepared for him as your schedule was empty this morning.

“When’s your next shoot, my love?” Jongseong spoke after swallowing, lifting his head to allow the sight of you sitting giddily on his boring leather couch to grace his eyes, you were always glowing in his office, casting a beautiful ray of light to the dull and lifeless space of his.

Especially now that you were wearing one of his own designs, a cute skirt paired with a cropped blazer, your hair styled prettily as you sat and fiddled with your fingers in excitement, “it’s at seven, are you going to visit me then?” You asked.

Even if you had attempted to hide your expectant tone of seeing him at your photoshoot and supporting you from behind the camera, jongseong easily detected it, he studied and observed everything about you.

“Of course I will, angel.” He replied, hands busy with reaching for a tissue as he finished his food, his eyes instantly falling back onto his paperwork before trailing back on you, “what time is it now?” You quickly checked your wrist watch “it’s two thirty,” he hummed at your response, “we should get going then.” He spoke out.

“But your meeting—“ “I’ll tell sunghoon to clear my schedule today, angel.” He ended before standing up, his figure tall in front of the sunlight in his office, he quickly reached behind for his blazer, the sunlight illuminating all of his veins and muscles as they flexed according to his movements, you totally weren’t distracted.

Once he coolly threw his jacket atop his shoulders, he walked towards you on the couch, “isn’t it too early? I mean we still have around four hours.” He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge as he looked downwards to meet your eyes, “I know, can’t I spend some time with my girlfriend before her photoshoot?” He smiled before reaching to take your hand.

You both step out of his office, your heels echoing throughout the halls of the floor while jongseong wrapped a protective arm around your waist guiding you towards the elevator.

You didn’t notice, but the sound of your heels had attracted some looks from jongseong’s workers, specifically from the newly hired employee that was on his first week of work, in jongseong’s peripheral vision he saw the movement of the new guy, very obviously swivelling his chair to get a good look while his coworker snickered at his gawking eyes, jongseong instantly recognised the agitating laughter— fucking yeonjun.

His laughter was instantly silenced when jongseong turned his head, he heard the screeching sounds of multiple chairs returning hastily to their original positions before he even fully turned, and with one sharp glare in yeonjun and the new employee’s direction, jongseong made a note to transfer both of them to a different department, as it wasn’t the first time yeonjun eyed his woman.

And he for sure wasn’t about to have another yeonjun around his office.

With a quick text to sunghoon, jongseong reached towards the wall next to the elevator, pressing the button before he returned his arm around your body, purposefully lowering his hand to your hip as he pulled you closer, “jong, your employees will see..” you whispered, aware of the fact that jongseong wasn’t the most comfortable when it came to publicly showing you affection. “Let them see.” He whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Jongseong relished in the quiet gasps behind him along with the slight blush dusting your cheeks before the elevator dinged and he quickly pulled you inside with him.

He kept his arm secured around you till you reached the ground floor of his building, his hand then dropped to interlock with yours as both of you stepped outside of the gates, jongseong reached his other hand inside of his pocket once he neared his car, pulling out the keys to hand over to his bodyguard before he opened the back seat door for you.

It wasn’t common for jongseong to not drive his car, mainly handing over his keys on days where he felt exhausted or had begrudgingly drunk alcohol, yet before you could question his reasoning for today, he leaned forward towards your ear as you were entering the car, “I’ve missed you so bad, angel.” He whispered.

His low tone sent shivers done your spine, suddenly his touch felt like fire when his fingertips brushed against your skirt as you were sitting down, he quickly walked to the other side of the car before he sat down atop the leather seats next to you,

“Where to, sir?” His guard, Nicholas asked whilst he had his eyes glued on the road, “Home, and roll up the partition” his hands were itching to reach out and to touch you, to hold you as his black pants had started to feel tighter than usual,

After his reply to Nicholas, Jongseong couldn’t wait any further, his hand reached up to loosen the black tie around his neck, fingers quickly moving to unbutton his shirt slightly, allowing his tan chest to be exposed to the golden sunlight.

The sight of Jongseong brushing his hand through his black locks as he turned his body towards you made your heart thump loudly in your chest, his breathes turning heavy while his arms moved towards you, wrapping around your waist before pulling you closer to him,

His lips found home on the skin of your neck, placing soft and long kisses while goosebumps arose on your skin under his touch, you felt yourself becoming lightheaded once he began to suck gently, leaving behind faint marks of his love on you.

“Jong…” you breathed out heavily, eyelids closed tight as you basked in the feeling of his touch all over you, “shhh, I’ve got you baby.” His kisses trailed upwards, aligning across your jawline as they turned into mouth opened kisses, jay’s hands slipped onto your exposed thighs, gently caressing your skin beneath his fingers while he groaned against your neck,

“Let me please you, Jong. Please,” you whispered in his hold, the desperate tone in your low voice made him feel lightheaded, even if jongseong had different plans of him pleasing you, he didn’t have the heart to decline your sweet offer, not when you were looking at him with your twinkling eyes, eager to please him and to love him.

He nodded his head in approval, not quite trusting his voice after feeling the small lump in his throat when you instantly lowered yourself in whatever empty space that was available in his car, your knees resting against the floor while your hands were running up and down his thighs, caressing his flexing muscles before they moved upwards to wrap around his belt.

Once your hands had discarded his belt, he lifted his hips slightly to aid you with finally freeing his throbbing length that stood tall against his lower stomach, a small and shiny dribble of his precum trailing down from his aching red tip with the veins along his underside becoming more prominent, the sight was enough to make your mouth water.

“There you go, angel.” He breathed out in relief as he would have exploded had he stayed another second inside the infuriating tightening of his pants, “come on angel girl, touch me.” The encouraging tone in his voice made you instantly move, your hand wrapping around his aching member while the other rested against his warm thigh, casting goosebumps along his skin.

Jongseong felt his throat dry up once you blew cold air teasingly on his tip, and before he could process, you quickly wrapped your plump and glossy lips around the head of his length, the warmth of your mouth and your tongue instantly circling around him was enough to have him feel as if he was melting against the leather seats.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, eyes closing shut as the pleasure ran through his veins the further you moved, circling your tongue around his aching length before sucking more of him down your throat, the slight tightening making shivers trail along his body.

He felt slight goosebumps forming all over him once your nails began to softly scratch his thighs before your hands gently caressed his skin, you moved your head up and down, each movement drawing out a longer sigh of his heaving chest, jongseong could feel the familiar tightening in his lower abdomen, his release gradually building up the further your spit trailed down his base and pooled around his inner thighs,

Jongseong’s hands reached towards yours that rested against his thighs, he quickly interlocked his fingers with yours, gently squeezing your hand to indicate the approach of his climax, you hummed around him making his hips jerk forward at the sudden vibration,

He whispered your name in heavy breathes, attempting his best to stay quiet in the moving vehicle, yet it seemed impossible now that you started to push him down further, your nose inching closer to his pelvis once you began to deepthroat his cock, jongseong’s legs began to twitch under your interlocked hands while low moans escaped his throat, ones he desperately tried to suppress.

And with a few movements of your head, jongseong finally allowed the euphoria of his release to wash down his body in waves, one more intense than the other as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, shaky moans of your name rolling off his tongue while his hands tightened around yours, thick ropes of his release shooting down your throat yet you didn’t let go of him yet, aiding him in riding out his high once you began to move up and down again, swallowing what he had to offer while his swollen tip was hitting the back of your throat, pleasantly overstimulating him.

“angel— please.. s-stop..” He stuttered out in shaky breathes, begging you to stop yet his hands still tightened around yours, you moaned lowly at his salty flavour on your tongue once you moved upwards, kissing and suckling on his leaking tip as he coated your tongue and your throat in his taste.

And once his legs and hips began to twitch uncontrollably, you pulled yourself away from him, jongseong opened his eyes to a sight that will knock his breath out of his lungs, if only you knew you heavenly you looked with your eyes teary, cheeks flushed red and your lips swollen, coated with a sheen layer of his cum as you looked up at him with your twinkling gaze, breathing heavily while you gently wiped away at the milky white droplet at the corner of your mouth, bringing it to your tongue.

Jongseong was fighting every voice and urge in his head to not pull you into his lap and make love to you in the backseat of his car, he knew Nicholas was a mere four minutes away from arriving at your house, yet the way your eyes were practically eating him up were making all his rational thoughts disappear from his head one by one,

“You did so well for me, baby.” He praised before pulling you upwards, his hands finding home around your waist as he placed you next to him in the backseat, his lips easily finding your neck to trail his love filled kisses across your skin, “jongseong..” you whispered once your eyes caught the familiar scenery from the window, Nicholas had basically arrived at your house.

Your hands quickly pulled his away from around you, trailing down to help him in wearing his clothes in worry of Nicholas suddenly lowering the partition to announce your arrival, jongseong chuckled as he quickly fixed his belt before gently grabbing onto your neck to pull you closer once again, you placed a feathery kiss on his lips, “we can continue this at home, baby.” And at your words, jongseong nodded with his lovesick eyes glued to your every move.

You also might’ve been a little late to your photoshoot.

Jongseong was yet again, swivelling in his office chair while biting back toothy smiles as a random employee along with sunghoon were discussing the placement of a new coffee machine since the older one stops working every now and then.

Their voices completely distorted for jongseong who kept swiping between photos on his phone, his feet finally planted on the ground to stop the movement of his chair, the back of the large chair hiding away his eyes that were twinkling in amusement from both men in his room.

His fingers stopped as the video of your latest appearance on the runway finally loaded, jongseong fixed his posture, sitting upright while his grip on his phone tightened, he felt his heart racing in the familiar rhythm that only you were able to generate, the tip of his fingers buzzing, his leg shaking up and down in excitement at the sight of you walking down in the video.

The video filmed by one of his designers, showcasing you from a perfect angle, the styling of your hair, the dress that he had sketched himself on one blessed night with you sleeping soundly next to him was now hugging all of your curves perfectly, the same heels he had suggested your stylist Yizhuo now clicking against the runway floor.

Jongseong’s eyes were stuck on you, suddenly all the other models that were walking past you or walking after you were blurred from his sight, he could only see you wrapped up in his designs as you made your way to the front of the runway, your eyes shining with confidence while you glowed in radiance, your aura fierce and sharp.

He took notice of the way most of the guests’ heads followed your body, some too busy talking with whoever was besides them about your appearance while others stared with their mouths slightly open, if only you knew the power and beauty you radiated.

And once you had reached the front, all focus on you with the camera desperately attempting to capture all of your angles, you blew a kiss to the camera along with a quick wink shooting a very quick arrow into your lover’s chest and countless other people before smiling charmingly and turning around.

Jongseong was holding back multiple groans and sighs back as he held his chest, his heart racing rapidly while his face got warmer, he forced himself to continue watching the video, to watch the way you swayed your hips while the dress fluttered around your legs, multiple heads turning to face the direction your were walking back to.

Jongseong felt heat spread all over his body, heart thundering against his ribs as he attempted to suppress a wide smile from spreading across his blushing face, jongseong was now replaying the video, his eyes memorising your every move as you strutted with countless pairs of eyes following your movements.

And at your sweet smile, jongseong remembered the memory of his first meeting with you, he had tagged along with sunghoon who was called by jaeyun for your first photoshoot, the ‘newly casted models’ photoshoot, jaeyun knew he had to get the opinions of both his best friends and his own boss.

Multiple bodies moved throughout the dressing room, the voices of many stylists layering upon eachother as they discussed certain aspects of their models’ look with said model or they ordered their assistants to collect certain items for them,

Various shapes and sounds were echoing in the room from the sound of heels being tested and worn to the clacking sounds of palettes being closed or open, jongseong’s eyes caught sunghoon who was lost in a conversation with one of their main photographers— Heeseung, the tall man was sporting a boyish smile on his face as he joked with sunghoon, a large camera dangling from around his neck below his necklaces.

Jongseong’s head then turned to spot Jaeyun with his assistant sunoo, Jaeyun listing down the props and equipment needed for the shoot while sunoo was jotting down each word in his notebook, nodding along to jaeyun’s focused tone as his eyes travelled all over the set, the first photoshoot always had to be perfect.

Hushed whispers and giggles surrounded jongseong once he finally took notice of the multiple models staring at him, quickly averting their gazes while their hands covered the blushing lower half of their faces, their body language giving them away instantly as one was now playing with her hair while the other returned her gaze to him, sending countless signals of her interest in the young ceo that he paid no mind to.

Jongseong believed that he didn’t have any time for love, with no intentions of finding a lover and starting his own family, especially not when the possibility of him neglecting his own family whether it was intentional or not weighed heavily on his shoulders, he didn’t want to repeat his history.

He believed that as long as his heart remained unclaimed, entertaining himself with a few one night stands and hookups here and there from when his stress would get the best of him or his sexual frustration entirely takes over his body, he was good to go.

Yet jongseong couldn’t really keep lying to himself, he yearned for someone to love and appreciate him, to see and hear him for himself, Park Jongseong, and not ceo Jay Park.

He had given up on such love a long time ago, the hope in his heart ripping apart the longer his dates consisted of questions about his family, his business and his work life. His dates rarely ever asking him about his own interests, how his childhood had been like and what sorts of hobbies he had picked up.

Jongseong’s expectancy for someone to hopefully ask him about his fashion designing career so he could finally talk about his mother’s abilities to shape his skills were quickly dissipating.

Wishing for the day he’ll be able to talk about his hidden talent of music, his rare guitar collection and his countless lyric-filled notebooks with someone who gazed at him with love and interest, with pure curiosity in his hobbies and passions.

And so after countless failed dates filled with short and bitter replies of his work, jongseong fully lost hope, opting to live a single life with an empty space occupying his heart.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

Yet he desperately attempted to understand why the deities above struggled and refused to give him someone whom he could cherish and love, he swore he had enough love to give.

He had finally decided to ‘trust the process’ just as his mother had told him whenever discussions of his concerningly empty love life were brought up during their spontaneous lunches and dinners together, ultimately cutting his random dates spree short and waiting patiently for his person to hopefully walk into his life.. maybe?

And thank god he had decided to trust the process, he thanked all deities above and his mother at the memory of you making your first eye contact with him through the mirror of your table with you sitting, fidgeting nervously with your fingers as your anxiety was eating you up alive, your stylist and makeup artist Yizhuo hovering next to you as she was expertly applying your foundation while attempting to calm your nerves down.

In the middle of answering Yizhuo’s distracting question about your favourite serum— your sight had caught a dark brown pair of eyes, ones that gazed into yours deeply, your heart skipped a beat at the unknown man’s gaze that weirdly managed to calm you down for the first time in the past few hours, quickly studying his perfectly sculpted face, you concluded that maybe he’s another model who’s been casted, not recognising the ceo of your own agency.

Yizhuo had caught on your silence, her eyes quickly darting to your own ones that were stuck on the mirror, following your line of vision, she also made eye contact with jongseong, who quickly averted his gaze as he choked on his own spit in embarrassment.

He quickly covered it up with a cough, Yizhuo however was now looking back at you with her eyes wide. “What is he even doing here?” She whispered in bewilderment, a smile creeping up her lips at the fact that she had caught jongseong— her cold hearted ceo who hadn’t looked in woman’s way in a few years now, staring at you.

“Is he not supposed to be here?” You whispered back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you looked back at the man, once again catching his gaze, this time you were able to point out the slight, almost unnoticeable redness that coated his ears, was he blushing?

But god he was so beautiful, his sharp eyes were practically drinking you up, his nose bridge high as it became dusted with a pretty rose, way prettier than the multitude blushes you had infront of you on the table and his glossy, pink lips looked so inviting.

“He never comes here..” Yizhuo points out, her focus now shifting to locating her favourite pressed powder— well, before her hand smacked your shoulder, “Why are you two staring at each other again?!” She whisper yelled, paying no mind to your low hiss at the spreading pain around your arm, your eye contact with the godly man was cut short with yizhuo’s continuous whispers of excitement.

“How am I supposed to know! He’s the one that keeps looking back.” You whispered, your voice clearly reflecting your flustered state as it got higher with every word, “Do you think he’s cute?” She asked you, awaiting your answer with a million thoughts rushing through her head, with the main one being ‘was this it?’

“He’s breathtaking, Yizhuo.” You replied, an incredulous expression on your face at her stupid question. Unbeknownst to you, jongseong was still watching the interaction between you and your stylist, he also might have heard your exchanged whisper yells but he couldn’t bring himself to care as his attention was on calming his heart down from bursting.

Jongseong instantly recognised you from your portfolio, your beauty in real life easily captivating him and caging his heart in a way he could have only dreamed of, he made sure to send his mother additional bouquets with the weekly ones he sends her this time, because the moment he saw you quickly flash him a smile when Yizhuo turned around followed by a small, shy wave— he knew he made the right decision with ‘trusting the process.’

“Do you even know the amount of calls jaeyun has redirected to me just this past hour, jongseong?” Sunghoon’s irritated voice brought jongseong back to the present, his lovesick gaze focusing on his phone screen again, the video of you walking down the runway on loop in front of him, showing him a complete contrast from your first nervewrecking photoshoot to now, your first runway.

Words could not fully explain the pride he felt blooming in his chest, he felt so so proud of you for standing with power and manifesting all of your dreams into your reality one by one, having the privilege of listening to all your worries and thoughts about your career, jongseong felt honoured that you trusted him enough to let him see you in your lowest moments, and allowing him to cradle you safely in his arms to comfort you, assuring you that you’ll work out.

Now seeing all of your highest moments made him feel incredibly proud of you.

“And here comes another one.” Sunghoon sighed loudly in hopes of catching his boss’ attention, jongseong cleared his throat before locking his phone, turning his chair back to face sunghoon, he assumed the employee from earlier had taken his leave and left a very upset and irritated sunghoon in his office.

“What calls are you getting redirected from jaeyun?” Jongseong questioned, pushing himself back into his work mindset before he began fangirling in the middle of his office, he could delay his giggles and smiles till he’s back at home because at this current moment he wanted to figure out what exactly had managed his assistant to carry a sour expression on his face.

“Different agencies and brands asking for our models portfolios and other shit— just to somehow secure a contract with them,” he sighed in frustration while declining another unknown number before rubbing his hands all over his face as he felt a slight headache forming, “half of Korea’s agencies have called since the show ended, almost all of them asking for one specific model’s contact information.” He continued, jongseong’s eyes raised at the sudden popularity of a model under his agency,

Sunghoon was never one to exaggerate his words, nor would he get this frustrated and annoyed over phone calls, opting for an indifferent expression and cool tone when dealing with his work, it was difficult to throw him off his balance, whatever model was causing this chaos in jongseong’s agency by now had him sitting on the edge of his seat.

Jongseong thought of all the possible models who had gained immense popularity today due to it being his agency’s first runway show presented by Jaeyun along with his top designer and stylist Yizhuo— both very famous and impactful names in the fashion industry.

Could it be?—

“And as expected, it had to be y/n.” Jongseong had never felt his eyes snap open so widely, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at sunghoon who was standing right in front of his desk with his hands placed on his hips, clearly trying to emphasise his annoyance at jaeyun’s constant redirecting of phone calls.

“Y/n? As in my y/n, correct?” Attempting to make sure that his ears weren’t suddenly playing with him and at sunghoon’s nod of confirmation he knew to not doubt his ears again.

Jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face, sunghoon’s own annoyed act completely dropped at the view of his ceo grinning so genuinely for the first time in months.

The sight of jongseong— who usually carried a cold and stoic expression on his face breaking out of his ‘icy cold ceo’ shell and chuckling once his eyes landed on the framed photo atop his table of his beloved girlfriend was enough to make sunghoon smile himself.

He looked like a kid whose parent just bought him his favourite candy, a kid on the morning of Christmas bubbling with excitement, a pretty shimmer in his usually dark eyes that made warmth spread across the young assistant’s body.

“That’s good.. that’s really good. I’m sure she’s going to be happy at all the offers she got.” He replied, very obviously biting his lower lip to calm himself down and fight back yet another dumb grin from his assistant who was now staring at him in amusement as his boss tried to hide his flustered state,

“Your ears are red, you know…” sunghoon couldn’t help but point out the rare sight of jongseong’s ears reddening, he expected his boss’ face to deadpan, his smile to drop when he pointed out his flustered state, yet sunghoon was surprised again when jongseong literally giggled.

“Did you just-“ “shut the fuck up.” The ceo gritted out, clearing his throat to ultimately channel his work mode yet again, he lifted his gaze up to sunghoon’s smiling face before he rolled his eyes.

“Send me a list of all the agencies that called you today, hoon.” He quickly said, his hands reaching towards his leftover paper on his desk, opting to distract himself from the desperate need of seeing you and showering you with all his love for your success today, awarding you to the best of his ability for doing amazing on your first runway.

“Noted. Before I leave boss, I wanted to ask you about an event,” sunghoon’s own business mode switched on, his hands reaching towards his bag that he had placed on jongseong’s sofa upon his arrival to pull out his tablet, fingers quickly swiping across his screen to reach the photos of said event,

“I’m not sure if you have made the decision to attend yet, but y/n has been nominated for model of the year.” He started, his words once again resulting in a surprised jongseong, yet this time the boss had attempted his best to conceal his expressions, knowing how vital and important this certain award event could be for your career.

“The voting for the award has been online, and so far y/n has taken the lead with a gap as big as sixty thousand votes. Her winning the award is guaranteed by a hundered percent, Boss.” Sunghoon finished off, turning his tablet to show jongseong the voting results till now, and he could see your name very clearly on the top of the list, exactly where you belong.

“We’ll attend.”

And after countless, draining meetings, multiple coffee cups brought in by sunghoon to keep his boss awake, a multitude of disagreements and bickering from his assistant followed by whispers of his name around his building, said whispers mainly being questions about his relationship along with his personal life, jongseong finally breathed his first sigh of relief after a plethora of frustrated ones once his feet stepped inside of his shared house with his lover.

Jongseong could feel his frustration and stress leaving his body with every step he took, his steps heavy on your wooden floor that creaked quietly with his movements, each and every work related thought slowly dissolving from his mind to whispers that were pushed into the corners of his brain, he only had his focus and attention set on one goal, and it was to see you, to hold you, to finally shower you with his love and praise.

His feet ached atop the fluffy carpet in your room once he entered, hands reaching upwards to loosen the tie around his neck, blazer long forgotten in the backseat of his car as his eyes spotted your sleeping figure on the bed, his large shirt hugging your frame from beneath the blanket that was carelessly discarded on your body, indicating you being lost in a deep slumber.

Jongseong’s heart swelled at the comforting sight that he used to wish and hope for, the sight of his lover asleep on his bed clad in his clothing, head resting on his pillow with her nose nuzzling into the fabric that carried his soothing scent, the sight of his bed not empty.

If only you knew the amount of love your dear jongseong carried for you in his body, his love that knew no peak and only kept increasing day by day in a comforting manner, he knew his love for you held no limits as it took completely over his body at the mere thought of you.

The warmth that will spread across his chest, his ears slightly ringing while his eyes became unfocused, his fingers fidgeting with one another at the rush of emotions in his body like a teenage boy obsessing over his crush, all this over the mere mention or thought of you.

The effect you had on jongseong was one you weren’t completely aware of, it was one that sometimes worried jongseong, especially during the times where you were busy with your own work, he was brought back into a reality that didn’t have you by his side at specific moments, which resulted sometimes in a quite grumpy and needy jongseong.

One that desperately craved and yearned for your love and affection, both heart and body yearning for you with the warmth now spreading from the top of his head to his toes, the warmth that bloomed from deep within his chest, the temperature of his body increasing the more his steps brought him closer to your figure on his bed.

His body sat on the bed before he could stop himself, the worried thought of accidentally waking you up quickly disappearing when you only nuzzled closer to his pillow, a soft and content sigh falling from between your lips.

Jongseong’s hand had a mind of its own, he couldn’t stop his body from reaching out to touch you after a long, draining and exhausting day. His heart drumming when you leaned into his hand that caressed your cheek gently.

His lips had garnered their own mind as well since he was now whispering your name lovingly into the night, into the darkness of your room in hopes of finally having your sparkling eyes to open and land on him, and with repeated calls of your name with his hot breath right against your ear made your eyelids flutter open.

“Jongie..?” You called out for him, voice barely above a whisper as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light, you could make out your lover’s figure on the bed next to you, the familiar feeling of his skin against yours that brought you an immense amount of comfort, you could also hear his small chuckle at your sleepy voice,

“It’s me, my love.” He cooed. voice deep and tender, lips lifting to a lovesick smile that you weren’t able to see while he gazed at the way your hands released his pillow to wrap around his wrist, your warm skin contrasting his own cold one making shivers run down both of your spines, “welcome home,” you whispered, kissing the palm of his hand that was caressing your jaw, in blissful unawareness of the multiple beats jongseong’s heart had skipped.

“You did so amazing today, angel girl.” His body moved on the bed, coming up closer to yours as he hovered above you, his hands never once lifting an inch from your skin while you chuckled at his words, warmth spreading on your cheeks at his praise, you’d been waiting his reaction since the morning.

“I’ve been thinking about you the whole day, baby.” He whispered into your neck, his hands by now had trailed lower and lower, reaching the hem of his shirt, he toyed with the fabric. you hummed along to his words, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling of him so close to you, the heat of his body travelling onto yours pleasantly.

“What were you thinking about with me?” Keeping your tone hushed, your fingertips were trailing along his clothed arm, his muscles flexing lightly under your feathery touch, jongseong could already feel his pants becoming unbearably tighter, suffocating him even further at your low voice.

“Just how bad I wanted to come back home…” his hands finally dipped beneath your shirt, “how bad I wanted to come to you..” goosebumps appeared on your body as his icy fingertips brushed against your warm waist, “how bad I wanted to please you..” a soft gasp tumbled past your lips when his hand fondled with your breast, easily accessing your skin with no restrictions of a bra, “to praise you..” his eyes were glued onto your beautiful face, focusing on every expression you made from his slight movements.

His hands now moved downwards making you involuntarily spread your legs for him, his words and closeness casting a spell on you, “to make love to you..” he rested his palm against your core, your flimsy underwear doing a terrible job in hiding your wetness as jongseong’s breath hitched once he felt your warmth coating his palm completely while you whimpered under him.

“Baby, i need you to sit on my face right now.” he spoke against your neck, placing a quick kiss before pulling away from you after you nodded at his words, jongseong’s hands moved fast in a blur, unbuttoning his shirt and practically ripping it off his body, his hands then reached out to you, guiding you to balance on your knees while he pushed himself to lay on the bed beneath you.

“Just like that, angel girl.” Countless praises rolled off his tongue once you placed both of your thighs next to his head that rested against his pillow, you felt your face burn at the position, your breathes shortening when you looked below you to the sight of jongseong’s eyes darkening by the second, you attempted your best to hold onto the headboard, stabilising yourself as your mind felt like it was melting away once you felt his hot breath against your cunt.

“Fuck..” you softly whispered at the heat spreading along your body, your legs twitching next to his head when you felt your own wetness dripping down your inner thighs, jongseong took his sweet time in reaching to push your soaked panties to the side, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head at the sight of your cunt glistening and aching for him.

He wasted no time in almost devouring your entire cunt, the tip of his tongue teasing against your sopping entrance only pulling away to circle your throbbing clit, sucking gently as he hummed at your sweet taste slowly coating his tongue, you mewled his name while your knuckles turned white around the headboard.

Pleasure coursed throughout your body in countless waves, one hitting harder than the other as jongseong noisily lapped and licked all of your juices, his arms pulling your thighs lower to his face.

You felt tears prickling at the corner of your eyes when he finally pushed his tongue in your gummy walls, thrusting in slowly to savour the feeling of your nectar covering the lower half of his face, your head was thrown back as your body shook in his hold when his nose nudged against your clit perfectly.

“Come on, love.” He quickly spoke under you before returning his tongue inside of you, low moans and whimpers of his name fell past your lips, each shuddered breath going straight to his aching cock that twitched beneath his clothing while his hips jerked and spasmed uncontrollably, desperate for any sort of friction yet jongseong paid no mind to his own need, completely thrown into a trance by your flavour and the heavenly sight of you atop of him.

“I’m close, baby” you breathed out, the knot in your lower stomach tightening with the gradual building of your release, “use me, angel.” He grunted, one of his arms now wrapped around your waist, his nails slightly digging into your skin while his other hand kept your twitching hips in place.

“Please use me, I need you to use me, cum all over my face.” He nearly whimpered, tongue messily slipping in and out of you before he pulled away to suckle on your aching clit, his words bewitching you entirely, your body leaned against the headboard when you felt your head spinning, mere seconds away from toppling into your climax the longer he continued eating and lapping you up so sloppily and loudly.

Jongseong was thrusting into the blanket at this point, his own release building up just by eating you out, the room felt ridiculously hot, you felt droplets of sweat aligning your hairline while jongseong could feel the droplets rolling down the back of his neck onto his pillowcase, his breaths heavy and hot as he refused to detach himself from you longer than a few seconds.

Your mind by now was completely whirling, jongseong’s continuous humming while you gushed all over his tongue was driving you to insanity, and you made the mistake of lowering your head to lock eyes with his needy ones.

A quiet gasp slipped out of you at the sight of him, sweet eyes already gazing at yours in love, his face glistening in a sheen layer of sweat, his black locks sticking onto his temples while tinier droplets rolled throughout his undercut, cheeks flushed a pretty rose colour while his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

Your hips began to involuntarily roll against him, the coil tightening further and further, you felt tears escape your eyes at the pleasure, suddenly jongseong pulled one of his hands away, his lips detaching from your core as his fingers inched towards your entrance, he carefully slipped two fingers in, both of you groaning in pleasure at the satisfying stretch.

You continued your movements, jongseong began to help you in riding his fingers, guiding your hips with his other hand while he stared at the sight above him, he noticed your every twitch, every shaky breath escaping your chest, every time your teeth grazed your lips to quieten your moans.

“Just like that, angel girl. Come on, give it to me.” He praised, eyes half lidded as he returned to suckling on your clit, adding a third finger in once your slick began to run down his palm and trail along his wrist, his thrusts quickened the whinier your moans turned, lips still wrapped around your clit while his tongue toyed with it.

“Fuck— I’m so fucking close!” You mewled with your back arching, nails digging into the wood beneath them once your legs began to shake, “cum for me, pretty girl.” He mumbled, his own body ablaze as he felt his own release mere seconds away.

And once jongseong pressed his fingertips directly onto one of your sweet spots all the while licking at your nub, you felt the dizzying sensation of pure ecstasy washing over you, broken moans tumbling out of your mouth while your eyes rolled to the back of your head, the sight of your climax washing over you to beautifully easily triggered jongseong’s own orgasm, and before he knew it he was already making a mess inside of his boxers at the sight of your moaning and shaking body whimpering out his name.

“Fuck yes baby, there you go. Cum for me,” his praises barely reached your ears as all you could hear was the familiar ringing after a mindblowing release, your eyes still closed while jongseong helped you in riding out your orgasm, slowly beginning to overstimulate you.

One of your hands reached down to hold onto his shoulder, in hopes of giving him the sign to stop yet jongseong was still lapping up all of your wetness with his eyes closed, humming in delight while licking all along your entrance, his fingers slowly came to a stop deep inside of you while his sucking dissolved into soft kisses against your cunt,

“Did so well for me,” he said with soft kiss on your clit, “my perfect angel girl.” kiss, “so so good for me,” tears were veiling your vision once again at his gentlest touches yet you didn’t have the heart to pull away, not when he felt so good.

“I love you so, so much.” And he finished off with a final kiss, carefully pulling out fingers that were covered with your slick, he quickly cleaned them up by pushing them into his mouth, eyes closing once again at your taste before he opened them again to find your own gazing at him tiredly, you were glowing above him.

His arm tried to tug you down, in hopes of you laying down next to him but you quickly stopped him, “jong, let me please you too.” You spoke quietly, throat feeling dry and scratchy before jongseong chuckled, “about that…” he smiled.

You focused on his face in the darkness to see the outline of a cheeky smile on his face, jongseong was quite thankful now for the lack of lighting in the room because his face felt like it was lit ablaze, “you don’t really have to do anything baby..” he spoke, voice becoming lower with every word, his words confused you, what?

Your eyes widened at the thought of him— no. You quickly turned around to the sight of a weirdly obvious and glistening wet patch on the middle of his pants, “jong.. did you really cum just from eating me out?” You asked, eyes still on the wet patch while jongseong rubbed his legs together in discomfort and embarrassment, “baby you don’t understand how amazing it is to eat you out..” he defended himself, voice questionably higher by a pitch as his blush deepened.

Not wanting to tease him further you turned to face him, pulling yourself away from him to lay besides your lover, quickly placing a soft kiss to his blushing cheek before chuckling, “okay baby, wanna join me in the shower?” You asked, voice already laced with exhaustion and fatigue, yet all those feelings dissipated when jongseong pushed his lips against yours, smiling into the kiss in response to your proposal,

“I’m gonna tease you about this later though.”

He stood outside of his car, parked infront of his building, the cold air sent slight shivers throughout his body, resulting in him tugging his blazer closer to himself, he could spot the multiple cars belonging to reporters on the other side of the street, eager to get any sort of photo of korea’s most popular couple, you and jongseong.

Countless other cars had parked next to his, the models that were signed under his company walking out one by one, some respectfully greeting him as they walked towards their respective cars while others shamelessly checked him out or winked at him, fully aware of his relationship.

Jongseong paid no mind to all the other women who were desperate to get his attention, he was too occupied and busy wondering about your outfit, the award seasons approaching also meant multiple runway events taking place— which also meant that your schedule was packed, jongseong was deprived of you terribly.

Specifically today, his hands itched to throw his keys to Nicholas and walk inside the building to see and hold you again as he wasn’t able to see you for the past few days, only able to feel the comfort of your body next to him when you were already sleeping by the time he had arrived.

Your morning fittings proved to be another disadvantage, as jongseong had been waking up these past few mornings to an empty bed, your absence greatly affecting his mornings when you weren’t there to hand him his coffee mug, his mornings without your sweet voice talking to him absolutely sucked.

The longer the days became without seeing you in his office with multiple declines to his ‘wanna visit me in my office?’ The heavier his days weighed on his heart, he turned away from the entrance of the building, in an internal battle with himself.

He physically couldn’t wait to see you again and relish in the familiar warmth of your skin against his— fuck it he’s going to see you right now, who would dare stop their own ceo from entering his own bu—

“Jongie!” And there it was, the same voice that his ear converted into sweet melodies that rung throughout his mind, jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread along his face while his back was still facing you, heart fluttering in his chest from the mere sound of your voice.

He could hear your breath fanning the back of his neck as you had walked closer to him with heels clicking against the floor, he could hear your breath shaking from excitement, your hands reaching to hold his own in happiness of finally seeing him.

And when jongseong finally turned around he physically felt all the air getting knocked out of his lungs, suddenly the world began to rotate slower around him, all the other figures passing by both of you became blurred, your giggle at his smitten expression echoed in his ear, gosh you were so breathtaking.

The dress that he had spent months designing with the occasional help from jaeyun was now hugging your body beautifully, all the sleepless nights of erasing and redrawing all the sketches were all proved to be worth it now.

His smile deepened, widening enough to turn his eyes into crescents as he gazed at you with pure love and adoration, his hands interlocking with yours and he used it to his advantage by pulling you towards him further, his breath brushing against your neck and cheeks, “you look stunning.” He whispered only for your ears to hear.

Jongseong could feel his heart rate gradually picking up with the way your smile widened, eyes shining as you looked up at him, “thank you,” you whispered back, gaze dropping quickly to his own outfit, clad in black pants along with a white satin button up with his logo embroidered atop his chest followed by a dashing blazer, “you look handsome.”

Jongseong couldn’t really help the small giggle that escaped his throat, his fingers tightening around yours as you both broke into an adorable fit of chuckles, paying no mind to the people passing by both of you nor the cameras recording you both from meters away, and surely not to the multiple employees that were by now watching the interaction unfolding from the glass windows with their jaws wide open,

“Are you ready, my love?” Jongseong smiled, hand already softly tugging you towards him as he turned to face the car, “I’m always ready,”

The drive to the venue was relatively quiet, with you asking jongseong a few questions about the reporters and the awards in a hushed tone filling up the air followed by jongseong’s own answers and random jokes to ease the tension he could clearly notice in your shoulders, he knew you were nervous and he was too, was he going to make it obvious to you though? Of course not.

“You think they’ll have food prepared?” You finally whispered the question that’s been plaguing your mind for the past few hours as you hadn’t had the chance to really eat anything with your day being filled with random fittings and sitting down in front of Yizhuo for hours as she did your makeup.

“I hope they do.” Jongseong replied, a smile gracing his face before he turned around to your worried expression, “and if they don’t, you know I’ll make something for you.” He quickly added, shoulder nudging yours in hopes of seeing you smile, his grin widened when you finally did.

Once the car came to a halt and you both stepped outside of the vehicle, jongseong’s hand quickly interlocked with yours amidst all the flashes of the multiple cameras pointing towards you, the sounds of the clicks resonating in your ear as jongseong swiftly walked inside of the venue all the while his hand gently tucked yours towards him to keep you safe,

The yells and calls of both of your names along with questions about your lives and works being shouted here and there quickly quietened when you walked deeper inside the venue, your lover turning around once you reached a deeper spot with less people around to check on you, concerned eyes roaming your body to detect any sort of injury or problem, “you’re okay, angel?” He asked.

You quickly nodded to his words, feeling nothing but excitement running throughout your body as you took in the interior of the venue, packed with famous models and designers from all across the world, the names echoing around you in real life being ones that you’ve only heard on television or read about in the internet, everything around you felt surreal.

Jongseong smiled at the amusement twinkling in your eyes, taking notice your hands that were shaking with nerves and excitement, on instinct he took your hands into his and pressed a loving kiss on the back of each one, successfully returning your attention on him and making you blush as he smiled at you once more, “let’s go, baby”

Both of you walked deeper inside the venue, passing by the red carpet to myraid pairs of eyes following each and every one of your movements, numerous heads being turned in your direction once you and the young ceo became the center of attention, jongseong could practically feel the burning gaze of multiple designers, male models and reporters scorch through his suit.

He could easily pick out the difference between pure envy and jealousy from interest and attraction from the countless pairs of eyes that were glued onto him and you as he scanned the area, and he absolutely hated it.

His attentiveness and expertise in studying other people’s expressions and body languages had landed him in both blessed and cursed situations, for instance he was glad he was able to tell you were into him as much as he was from your first date with the way your attention was completely stuck on him, your fingers fidgety with your nervousness when they weren’t brushing through your hair followed by the adorable pink that would dust your cheeks as you looked down to chuckle at his stupid jokes.

The other instance being now, he could effortlessly nitpick the men who were gazing at your body with disgusting lust and need in their eyes from the men that had genuine curiosity and intrigue written all across their expressions as they gazed at you, your beauty captivating each and every one of their attention with ease.

He hated how these men had the audacity to gaze at you in ways only he should be able to, the nerve of them to think about you in only ways he should be able to, he hated the fact that you probably have the same effect on them as you do on him, plaguing their minds for the rest of the week with thoughts and wonders about how one day will be like with you.

But was the young ceo going to display his discomfort and show the clear jealousy tainting his expression to the whole world? Of course not. Who did these men even think they are in the first place? Why would Park Jongseong give them the satisfaction of seeing him with a sour expression on his face next to his lady who had managed to successfully enchant the entire venue with her beauty?

He would of course stand next to you tall and proud, hand wrapped around your waist protectively, fingertips brushing against the satin of your dress that he had designed and the whole world knew about that fact from his emblem next to your collarbone, a satisfied smile on his face that easily asserted his power and success, a supremacy all the other men around them could only have the ability to imagine about.

The image of the young ceo was guaranteed to be a trending topic in the country for the following few days, his resemblance to his father had always been a hotly discussed topic among the citizens of the city that had their eyes glued onto his every move, yet now with his first appearance into the public eye in a few months was a different kind of whiplash for all the attendees.

Park Jongseong walked with elegance, spoke with grace and radiated charm. His sole character and aura was a heavy statement of opulence and luxury, casting a very clear difference between him and all the other men in the entire world.

It was very obvious to the public eye that he wasn’t resembling the former ceo only appearance wise, but he had an exact replica of his father’s mannerisms. Born and raised into old money truly had done wonders in the upbringing of jongseong in the best way possible.

He was a ‘one-of-a-kind’ man, one in billions that blessed his family of powerful ceos, he truly was destined for success.

And success did he find, in the most loving and caring forms that walked into his life right when he most needed it, the sight of you next to him was pure eye candy for all the cameras in front of you, you and jongseong’s outfit complimented one another perfectly.

The contrast between the young ceo smiling charmingly at all the cameras as he attempted his best to turn and face all the reporters that were yelling his name and you, the embodiment of love and beauty standing besides him, glowing with your dress when you waved at your other friends standing a few feet away from you on the red carpet before smiling sweetly at all the paparazzis, was for sure going to be a trending topic for weeks.

“Don’t you think we should head inside?” You whispered to your lover, voice low in worry of one of the cameras that were recording you both to catch your irritated tone, the one you were trying to hide, jongseong clearly noticed it of course, his head nodding before he could even realise it, turning to interlock your hands once more to finally walk away from the blinding flashes.

Maybe Jongseong shouldn’t take much pride and confidence in his body language studying abilities, as he had completely failed to realise the multiple models that were eyeing him.

From the ones standing a few feet behind you, glaring daggers into you before their eyes twinkled once they landed on Jongseong again, to the ones behind the cameras, whispering with their hands against their mouths with their gazes stuck on your lover, who failed to notice all of them.

But of course you noticed, you felt the way you were being watched not only with lustful eyes but also envious eyes, the thought of multiple women wishing to be in your position, daydreaming about your lover irritated you to an extent, because at the end of the day, he was going to be the one to take your dress off while you left your loving marks on his back.

And one way or another, you will manage to make everyone else in this event realise it.

Jongseong’s thumb caressed the back of your hand gently, he could feel the nervousness radiating off from your body, hell he was nervous himself with his eyes glued on the host atop the stage, holding the envelope with one hand while the other kept the microphone close to his face, Soobin’s voice boomed throughout the speakers in the venue.

“And the winner..” he continued building the anticipation in the area, practically all attendees were on the edge of their seats with their breaths hitched, jongseong could feel his anxiety increasing when he noticed sunghoon’s leg shaking next to his seat, jaeyun’s nervous eyes rapidly moving from the large screen to the stage, your own nails digging into his skin softly whenever soobin spoke along with his mother’s eyes studying your nervous state while whispering reassuring words to you.

“I’m so sure you won, baby.” Jongseong finally found his voice again as he whispered softly into your ear, and similar to a spell you felt all of your worry dissipating at the mere sound of his comforting voice, your grip on his hand loosened while you leaned back into your seat again, a full wave of relaxation washing over you, you turned to look at his eyes already staring at you tenderly.

“I don’t mind, really.” You spoke with a hushed tone, a small smile gracing your lips when your gaze fell onto your interlocked hands with jongseong, “it’s just an award,” you shrugged your shoulders before returning your focus onto the stage, unaware of the grin that now appeared on jongseong’s face at your words.

“For ‘Model Of The Year’ is..” Soobin’s voice brought his attention back onto the screen yet again, the sight of Soobin’s hands hastily opening the envelope he was handed before pulling out a small paper, made jongseong gulp in anticipation, the roles were quickly reversed since now you held jongseong’s sweaty hand with both of yours, gently rubbing your thumb on his skin to calm his own nerves down.

And at soobin’s yell of your name throughout the venue, jongseong felt his whole world slowing down in rotation, you excitedly jumped from your seat with shock painting your face followed by jongseong’s mom also leaping to hug you tightly, her praises and congratulations falling onto your ringing ears as the crowd erupted with cheers and claps.

Sunghoon was too busy celebrating your win with jaeyun who was now hugging the assistant excitedly, eyes shining with a huge smile on his face at his model winning such a huge award in his agency, he felt so proud of you, body twitching in happiness as he stared at you walk towards the stairs of the stage now.

The whole time jongseong was in a state of shock, his eyes attempting their best to focus on your figure standing in front of the mic now, his racing heart skipping beats once his eyes focused on the huge award in your hand, sunghoon’s whispers of ‘i told you’ were left ignored as jongseong tried his best to decipher your speech— he could already tell your halfway through it yet time seemed nonexistent for him at this current moment.

When his ears finally began to pick up and understand what you were saying— “And I would love to thank my beloved husband, park jongseong—“ and just like that his ears began ringing again, his surroundings suddenly slowing down once more.

Because what?

Your beloved who?

The crowd that was only quiet for a few seconds roared with another round of applause and shouts at the announcement, your mind was clouded up and foggy with your own emotions you didn’t even realise your slip up even when your eyes landed on jongseong’s shocked face, his mouth agape with his pretty eyes widened with shock— was he tearing up?

The realisation dawned on you when you noticed sunghoon proudly slapping his friend’s back all the while jaeyun was now bursting with excitement, clapping his hands with multiple giggles falling from his lips followed by sweet congratulations to jongseong— who was slowly coming back to his senses and becoming aware of the camera next to his face, recording and displaying his reaction on the large screen.

His face and ears had flushed entirely red, big eyes twinkling in surprise and shock, lips parted in confusion as he had the urge to say anything. To talk, to scream, to yell at that second yet nothing was coming out besides a breathy chuckle.

Jongseong felt the familiar warmth rushing throughout his body, branching from deep within his chest to his limbs that buzzed with excitement, the familiar warmth that only you were able to generate in him, the warmth and fuzzy feeling of pure love.

He had the courage to look into the lens of the camera with his own tear filled eyes before nodding proudly, confirming your own unbelievable words, the shocking statement that fell from your lips unexpectedly to the entire world.

His heart thundered in his chest when sunghoon nudged him while laughing, jaeyun was now calming down jongseong’s mother who was too busy wiping her own tears of happiness at the sight of not only you on stage but also the sight of her son, jongseong gazing lovingly at you atop the stage, radiating the love and adoration he carried for you from the screen, and the final blow was when he decided to blow a kiss your way.

That was when your own resolve completely crumbled and you bowed one final time to the crowd and soobin before quickly getting off the stage, the urge to be close with your lover surpassing every other emotion you felt in that second, the need to hold him and feel him consuming you to the point of a satisfied sigh tumbling past your lips when you finally made it to your seat again,

With jongseong standing to hug you tightly, lips next to your ear he whispered “congratulations, wifey.”

Jongseong’s didn’t allow his body to stay as distant as an inch away from you, almost like he became glued to you at the hip when you began to make your way back from the event, hands laced together with his towering figure trailing behind you like a shadow.

He couldn’t bring himself to even think about lifting his eyes away from you or drifting a single second away from your body, the only time being when he had to enter his car after you and it was short lived since not even a moment later he was pressed against you.

Still in his state of a giggling and blushing mess bedsides you, he toyed with your fingers while you were on the phone with Yizhuo, accepting all of her sweet congratulations and excited squeals over the line before ending it with a loving kiss to the phone, your lover was now distracted with softly brushing his fingertips against your skin, caressing each vein around your wrist with hazy eyes,

“Jongseong..?” You whispered quietly, eyes quickly checking on Nicholas who glued his attention on the road ahead of him, before returning back to a soft jongseong, he hummed at your call of his name, gaze still stuck on your hand— specifically a certain finger on your left hand, with a ghost of a smile on his face.

“You’re really quiet..” you stared at his side profile, the slope of his nose, his softened eyes filled with passion along with his pretty pink lips pouting in concentration, he was in a deep thought. He simply hummed as a response once again, and before you knew it the vehicle finally came to a stop.

Walking inside the house never felt so soothing for both you and jongseong after a tiring day, once the door behind you got closed you felt his hand rush from interlocking with yours to wrap around your elbow, briefly stopping you and turning a confused you around to face him.

“Did you really mean it..?” He spoke with a hushed tone, eyes blazing with hunger and need for you, his other hand came upwards to caress your cheek lovingly as he awaited your answer, “mean what?” You questioned.

He breathed in deep before speaking once again “do you see a future with me?” His eyebrows slightly raised this time, a slight blush decorating his ears that slowly trailed downwards to his neck, the sight of your gaze softening and transforming from confusion to pure love made him almost melt in front of you.

“Of course I do,” you leaned against him, hands now finding their place on top of his chest, you felt his heart beat drumming beneath your fingertips rapidly while his hands dropped to wrap around your waist, “I’m glad you do, because I can’t wait to marry you.” He spoke before kissing your forehead, resting his against yours as he closed his eyes while yours widened.

“We don’t have to rush..” you quickly said, making him open his eyes once again, you easily drowned in his eyes that were dripping with honey. “We have to, the whole world thinks that we’re married now.” He chuckled, “I don’t mind making that true..” he continued, arms wrapping tighter around you while you stared at him with genuine amusement, “..like right now.” He nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Jong..” you started, heart racing from not only his words but his closeness as well, you felt your body heating up, a familiar warmth taking place between your legs the tighter and closer he held you to him, he walked slowly while he pushed you backwards till your back pressed against the door and his lips found home on your neck.

He breathed in your scent before trailing kisses along the expanse of your skin, your breaths deepened once the room suddenly felt warmer, his blazer around your shoulder felt like it was burning you, your eyes unintentionally closed the wetter his kisses got, the longer he trailed his tongue over his marks and the harsher his sucks got on your skin.

He pressed his leg between yours, knee indenting your dress while it pleasantly pressing against your core allowing him to feel the wetness pooling in your underwear, your hands by now had reached out to wrap around his shoulders, fingertips brushing against his undercut making him groan.

you felt his hardened member press against your thigh achingly while jongseong paid no mind to his own needs, too distracted by your supple skin between his teeth. Yet you couldn’t take it any longer, you needed him inside of you desperately.

“Jongseong..” you whispered once again directly into his ear, tone laced with crave and yearn towards him, he felt his heart skip a beat at your weak sound, quickly detaching himself from you, “I’ve got you.” He mumbled before picking you up with ease,

His feet quickly arrived at the doorway of your shared room, he swiftly stood besides the bed before carefully lowering you onto his bed sheets, wasting no time in climbing atop of you to finally connect your lips for the first time tonight.

His hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing the marked skin weakly, making a soft gasp flutter past your lips, he trailed his tongue against yours, brushing past your swollen lips while he pressed his body completely against yours.

His other hand quickly came up to rid him of his tie, popping a few buttons open on the way which allowed you to get a look at his gorgeously tanned chest, his hands then worked quickly to open the zipper on the side of your dress before leaving you on the bed clad in lingerie, one that he recognised you and yizhuo designed to hopefully get released under a future lingerie design, and you were sure it was with the way jongseong’s pupils immediately formed small hearts.

“You look stunning..” he breathed out, chest heaving in breaths while he began to kiss your chest, you lowly moaned his name once he began to suck between your breasts, hands fondling with them with the annoying restriction of your bra, his kisses turning more hungry and greedy the lower he reached, he placed on final wet kiss on your hip bone before his hands wrapped around your inner thighs, separating your legs as his placed them on top of his shoulders, lowering himself to the wet patch on your covered panties.

His placed one kiss against your clothed clit resulting in your legs twitching besides his head, he chuckled lowly before kissing you once again, you whimpered his name out, hips needily and uncontrollably rolling as your body was lit on fire at this point, jongseong pushed one finger in through your clothed entrance, the sight of your glistening wetness trickling out more from the sides while he could feel your nectar seeping through the flimsy fabric bewitched him entirely, he gulped when he felt countless waves of pure ache travel his body from his hips.

“Jongseong please..” you mewled, the back of your hand resting against your forehead once you began to feel lightheaded the longer he pushed his finger along with your fabric inside of you followed by his long kisses against your clit, “please what, angel girl? Tell me what you want.” He quickly replied before turning his head to kiss along your inner thighs, his swollen lips pressing against your skin after nibbling on it softly.

“Please let me ride you.” You whimpered out, voice barely audible but jongseong understood your words with ease hence why he suddenly stopped all his movements and god was he fighting off the urge to combust in his pants right now.

Without responding he quickly got up, hands separating from your heat while his face came upwards to yours, he took in the sight of your half lidded eyes, shining with desire, need and devotion when you finally saw him again, the sight of your blushing face with soft breathes panting from between your plump lips, you looked alluring.

Jongseong had seen you on countless magazine covers, your photos on multiple runway shows taken by professional photographers, numerous photoshoot appearances with half of them ending up on billboards all of which you looked absolutely gorgeous in.

Yet none of these photos could amount the beauty that he saw whenever you were under him, the beauty that he knew he caused. With your flushed face gazing at him so prettily, begging him and needing him to do anything. Not one single photographer can catch the expression of pure love and lust that he got to saw beneath him every single night, you looked mesmerising.

Easily putting him under a spell with only one goal in his mind, to please and love you till sunrise only to do it again the whole day and never break this endless cycle of devoting himself to you entirely.

“Of course, angel.” He finally breathed out a response, delicately moving his and your body to get you in the correct position after quickly ridding himself of his pants along with his boxers, with his back against the headboard and you sitting on his lap, he held your waist as he guided your clothed cunt against his aching length that stood proudly against his lower stomach appearing painfully hard, leaking with precum from his reddened tip.

He quietly gasped out your name, his hips twitching with your slightest movements, your hands gripped on his shoulders while his pressed your body closed to his while he moved you as he pleased, his eyes closing as he threw his head back, gifting you the heavenly sight of jongseong with his face blushed, lips glistening with his own spit due to his constant messy kisses, small sweat droplets decorating his hairline before trailing down his honey skin, his Adam’s apple moving when he gulped, you couldn’t really help yourself from leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against it, and you for sure didn’t regret it when it drew out a whimper from your lover.

Impatiently, your hand reached lower to push your sopping panties to the side before aligning his tip against your entrance, your wetness leaking down his length followed by his own precum, the sight arousing you enough to finally sink down on him after countless hours while both of your moans of pure pleasure resonated throughout the dimly lit room.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, his abs flexing from beneath you as he fought his hardest to push his release back since he’s been in an internal battle ever since you slipped up on that blessed stage, his hands held onto your hips once you began to move atop of him, guiding your hips to roll in delicious circles that made you whimper his name against his lips while he sloppily kissed you.

He couldn’t keep his lips off of yours for too long, separating them whenever the urge to moan out your name became to much before returning to suckle on your lower lip, he savoured your flavour and you taking over his senses entirely by closing his eyes and allowing himself to indulge in you entirely while your gummy walls sucked him hungrily.

Your nails began to slightly dig into his skin the harsher his hardened tip pressed against your sweet spots perfectly, your eyes rolling back almost every time you lowered yourself on his cock after lifting your hips to only have his tip inside of you, jongseong began to slowly move his own hips upwards to meet your thrusts, he angled them perfectly to have his tip press against your cervix expertly.

He had memorised every part of your body, every movement that had your legs shaking and eyes rolling and he used every night he spent with you to his advantage, almost vowing to himself to always have you clouded with bliss and pleasure whenever he had the chance.

His length felt like it was splitting you open, moulding your walls to his size and his only with the way his thrusts slowed to the point where he was practically pushing himself inch by inch, his arms trailing upwards to circle around your waist, pressing your upper half against his while he fucked you passionately.

“Jongseong..” you moaned his name eagerly, your own hands had dropped to grip onto his forearms, nails indenting the fabric of his button up shirt while you tried your hardest to stabilise yourself, he quickly shushed you, “I know baby, I know. I’ve got you.” He pressed a quick kiss to your parted lips before reaching for the drawer next to your bed, hand moving hastily to grab the device before revealing the vibrator to you, “jong—“ he cut you off, his other hand holding your chin to tear your gaze away from the device to look at his own reassuring one, “I’ve got you.” He whispered one final time against your lips.

He turned the device on, to a medium setting before lowering his hand and pressing it against your clit, you gasped quietly at the intense vibrations of pure pleasure running along your body, your chest pressed harsher against his, jongseong could feel his mind spinning the longer he felt your breasts pressed against him while your hips involuntarily rolled due to the vibrations, he felt a shudder run down his back when he took notice of the goosebumps on your skin.

“There you go, doll.” He praised you, his eyes glued onto every expression of ecstasy that your face twisted into with the continuous building of your release, the way your eyebrows were furrowed with your pretty eyes tearing up due to the intensity of the pleasure he was providing you was driving him crazy.

You felt the way your abdomen tightened in familiar pleasure, the tightening of the coil indicating the approach of your climax that almost made your mind melt away, jongseong picked up the pace of his thrusts, your wetness mixed along with his own now messily trailing between your inner thighs to coat his own, the sound of wet skin slapping followed by your moans echoed off the walls the longer you needily bounced on him.

“I’m so close.. so so close,” you babbled throughout whimpers of his name, jongseong felt his own release that he desperately fought off right around the corner, he leaned forward to peck along your chest, lips brushing against your collarbone while he moaned against your skin, “i’m close too, baby.” He spoke between kisses, his hand pressed the vibrator harshly against your throbbing clit making you squeal his name, mere seconds away from reaching your orgasm.

“Come on, doll.” He urged on, his voice whiny in need of you to cum all over him and to allow him to relish in the sight of you in cloud nine, the sight he knew multiple men were currently wishing for, the sight that was reserved for his eyes only.

Jongseong felt the familiar jealousy course through his veins when he remembered the nasty looks of those men, his envy reflecting in the way his hand squeezed your hip before he lowered you down forcefully, unexpectedly and impossibly deepening his thrusts. Your moans turning into broken sobs while tears rushed freely down your cheeks when he picked up his own pace and began to piston his cock in and out of you.

“Fuck! Jong— I’m cumming” your voice turned into mere whispers the second you felt the familiar euphoria and fervor washing down on you, hitting your body with explosive waves, each one drawing out a long moan of your lover’s name from between your lips.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

But gosh the sight of your back arching beautifully in front of him, your head throwing back revealing your heaving chest clad in a flimsy lingerie with broken moans of his name along with a glistening sheen layer of sweat casting on your body enticingly, made you look absolutely divine in his eyes.

The urge to thank the deities above for allowing your paths to cross at that current moment was difficult to ignore, you didn’t notice the quiet gasp leaving his mouth at the sight of you, unaware of the way the mere view of you bathing in complete pleasure and delight unlocked something carnal, something animalistic in him that pushed him in a frenzy of thrill and bliss.

He guided you throughout your orgasm for a few seconds before moving both of your bodies in a split second, he discarded the vibrator carelessly as he suddenly had you beneath him, you gasped in surprise at the unexpected change in position with his hands now reaching to place your legs atop his shoulders while he pushed his cock back into your swollen folds.

“Jongseong please.. I can’t—“ you felt tears prickle in the corner of your eyes when he began to thrust again, he lowered himself to kiss along your tears, his hips rolling smoothly in after he pulled a mere inch out, not having the ability to possibly move out further from your heat that sucked and milked his cock in ways that had his body shaking.

“Yes angel, you can.” He cut you off, lips kissing along your wet cheeks, “you can give me another one can’t you?” He questioned, his hips now picking up pace ardently, overstimulating you while you could only writhe in his hold, the feeling of his tip now fully pressing against your cervix made your eyes roll to the back of your head, your body now twitching beneath him fully as you felt another orgasm building up.

“I know you can baby, you’re so perfect for me..” he babbled on, using every second that he doesn’t have his lips pressed onto your skin to whisper praises to you, “you were made for me, angel.” He kissed along your jawline while you sobbed his name, “my precious princess, does that feel good to you?” He lifted his face to take in the sight of your pretty face completely fucked out.

You nodded wordlessly to his words, he had successfully pushed you into a subspace filled with nothing but delight, your ears were ringing with only mumbles of his words reaching your brain, at this specific point you felt mind blowing waves of pleasure running throughout your body, confusing you on whether or not you were cumming again but you couldn’t bring yourself to care or focus.

“Did I fuck you dumb, doll? It’s okay you know I’ll take care of you, angel. I’ve got you, hm?” He continued, his legs now convulsing while he felt himself teetering on the edge of his orgasm, he could taste the metallic taste of his blood coating his mouth due to how harshly he had been biting his lips.

He felt you cumming around him once again, your nails gripping around his arms with your eyes closed shut while you whimpered beneath him, not able to process anything besides the borderline painful pleasure he’s been causing, his eyes softened at the rush of fresh tears from your ears when you tightened around him once again, “jongie..” you finally were able to weakly whisper his name, with both of your bodies twitching in overstimulating ecstasy.

your voice needily calling for him was enough to finally have him toppling over the edge, he choked out your name once he felt his mind clouding with blinding euphoria, hot white rushing through his veins as he pressed his hips sharply against yours, his tip pressing against your sweetest spots while he filled you up with his thick ropes of cum, painting your insides pleasingly white.

countless whispers of fuck fuck fuck fell past his lips followed by loud moans of your name as he plunged inside of your wetness to ride out his climax, unintentionally bringing you to another orgasm that made your walls convulse around him painfully, your peaks of pleasure seemed endless once jongseong felt his own tears of overstimulation lining his waterline, his wobbling lips pressing against your shiny ones, your body twitched beneath him once he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist after lowering your legs from his shoulders,

He suckled on your lower lip as his thrusts finally came to a stop with his cock deep inside of you, he felt his body burning with the intensity of the aftershocks, he quietly whispered your name expecting you to open your eyes yet you could only bring yourself to hum, he began to suck on your the tip of your tongue, hands caressing your sides while his length softened in between your warm walls,

“Angel.. my sweet girl.” He whispered, his dazed eyes now awaiting yours to open up finally, “come on..” he softly tapped his index finger along your cheek, finding the way you suddenly wrapped your arms around his shoulders to hold him closer endearing, “come on baby, come back to me..” he urged on, and once his longing tone finally reached your ears, you attempted your best to open your eyes.

“There you go baby..” he chuckled at the sight of your unfocused eyes, his fingers tenderly caressed your wet cheeks, patiently waiting for you to fully return your focus back onto him again, “did so well for me, pretty girl.” He praised before trailing kisses along your jawline, “my sweet angel.” He spoke with a final kiss to your parted lips, a soft smile appearing on his face when he finally noticed your hazy eyes focusing on him,

“You did so good for me, baby.” He said in a hushed tone, quietly speaking as to not overwhelm you in any way, the only goal in his mind was to get you both cleaned up before cuddling you till the afternoon tomorrow, “I love you so much,” he whispered, his heart swelling when you gently kissed him.

And that night became one of his favourites with you when he finally tucked you in his bed, your body clean atop changed bedsheets with him besides you, completely unaware that jongseong’s previous words were actually true, and the proof of that was the small velvet box inside of his blazer that he had messily discarded when he was undressing you.

៹ — A,NOTE. pt2. as mentioned above this was not proofread or edited so im kind of terrified to post this but I just finished it and i desperately want this work out of my drafts because it’s been here since the end of jan 😭

I would also like to point out the fact that I used punctuation this time ☝️ or atleast well TRIED to use it to my best ability, and that this will also have a part two (that’s not going to be released anytime soon because this one drained me) and it will focus on the more possessive and somewhat toxic? side of ceo jay bcs im obsessed with him 🙏🏼

some scenes were also written very quickly with my mind completely empty to it makes me feel kinda :/ like especially the award scene it was kinda rushed but I was kind of working on a time crunch (idk why but I wanted this out as soon as possible) so that’s why some scenes might feel empty or not as well and in depth written as the other ones which is on me + the fact that I don’t really know much about the modelling agency so I didn’t go into detail about writing it in case it’ll be wrong which is also why some scenes will be feeling empty. but anywho !! i hope u some what enjoyed my longest fic to date :D !! feedback & reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

(p.s big thanks to Victoria Monét’s collaboration song with kehlani ‘touch me’ for giving me this idea and for making that song and if u read the lyrics they somewHAT inspired this whole fic especially kehlani’s verse and if some other parts don’t make sense then don’t worry because they will in part two 😁💯)

[osangue]

i don't think i've ever felt so hopeless in being unlovable. i'm so ashamed of how i look that i've spent four years hiding from everyone. everyone in my collective took a polaroid together at the park armory where we had a film screen and the hugs and smiles made me feel like a ghost. the pandemic turned me agoraphobic and i kept myself alive thru emotional eating. i've became a sponge for everyone's suffering in my family and i'm tired of carrying and soaking it up. it's made me so depressed. for the first time i feel like it's not worth being creative and i've never lost that light in particular, that match has never gone out. i don't feel i have anything worthy of saying in the middle of the times i feel like i've wasted my life and i'm too deep in the hole to ever crawl out of it. i keep making breakfast and thinking of these lives you hear about where the persons are shut ins like in japan and it's like yeah maybe no one will see me in person ever again except my dog. i feel so damaged and fucked up and ugly. i think if anyone wanted to touch me i would auto feel like so disgusted by it but wow my timeline has been nothing but BL gifs of men kissing passionately and it just feels like that's past for me. i finally applied for healthcare after being without for like 5 years just because i want the fucking ozempic idc anymore. my sister n her gf are skinny now because of it and i just will begin exhausting myself at the gym while im in san salvador idk hate that gay men are fascists about bodies but it just doesn't feel like i have another choice but to make that deal with the devil. the last time i got a massage i like quietly cried face down because it had been so long since someone touched me. i've felt like such a ghost that it completely felt crazy to have someone's warmth like that. it fucked me up. i saw photos of myself in peak eating dis0rder as a teen and wow idk if my brain will ever get over that upbringing n the immense self hatred. sayr3 went to see the film expecting to run into me. the place paid my flight n hotel n gave me a stipend n i chose not to go because i just don't want to be seen. i feel like my appearance is an afront to others. it feels like that. im dreading living with kenia now that it's closer like what if my mental illness swallows the shared house. idk i guess i invited her to colive because otherwise i probably would ooooofff myself if i had the house ONLY to myself. i think i just need to cry the entire first week i get there. am i meant to just suffer like if men aren't assaulting me, it's them fetishizing me or never asking me for my needs in bed idk sex is so disgusting to me now. it just seems like violence n like someone using me idk i keep joking its femcel fall but it's just adjacent like im just too traumatized for connection at this point. way too traumatized. the fka twigs album is going to destroy me, but it's not much hope. i just cna't be body positive about own self. it's just impossible. i actually get angry when ppl preach that shit to me like it seems so delusional and stupid.

[rosecoloredknight]

im not sure why but i feel like we're both hopeless romantics lol im sorry if i got the wrong impression 😅

anyways, for the "if we were dating ask", i have a few ideas :)!

id hold you in my lap and reassure you that everything will be okay and work out in your favor. good morning and night texts are an absolute given ofc. probably be handsy on your butt lol (mainly bc despite being hispanic, mines is nonexistent lol and also my exes never let me touch it). give you flowers too! physical touch is a big thing for me, so lots of that and it doesnt always have to be in a sexual way. im also the jealous type (unfortunately) so id need words of affirmation lol

anyways thats all i'll say for now :) i have more ideas but i dont wanna make this too long bc i tend to ramble lol

hahaha, nah you got it right, I'm definitely a hopeless romantic person.

I'm so convinced that I won't find love out there that I'm already going to look for single parent surrogate applications and centers —

I love the idea of dedicating my life to a small little gremlin that'll be half my DNA.

One of my friends is IMPLORING me to give eHarmony another chance but right now I'm a I don't give a fuck anymore, I'll just daydream about love and sex.

I don't even care that I don't care anymore

Now, to your response, which by the way, this fuels my delusional loser self so thank you:

Sigh ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you. Words of affirmation is my new love language. If you're willing to tell me that you appreciate me and I'm valued in your life then you got me forever as a friend or lover. Sometimes I just need a reminder or to know that I'm a good part of your life that's all. It helps me when I'm feeling alone in this world.

I don't ever get good morning or good night texts haha, well my friend N sent a good night after letting me know about something that was going on early in the morning, but it was random so yeah, besides that, I never get them. Anyways, she's hilarious, and so quick witted. I freaking adore that about her!!

But yes, definitely would appreciate goodnight/good morning texts ♥️

Hahaha, if I'm yours, you'll have free access to every part of my body, especially my big butt 😌😌 (especially if you're exes never allowed you to do so)

Oooh, I would definitely appreciate receiving flowers

Exactly!! it doesn't always have to be sexual!! It can be random 5 seconds back rubs, or holding/playing with the hands, shoulder to shoulder, legs over the lap while chilling in the living room, running hands through the hair, foot massages, cheek/forehead kisses, long hugs, etc!!

Haha, that's cute, I'm not a mind reader so I appreciate if I'm told that they're not feeling well, or feel unattractive, or something like that so I can remind them how much I appreciate them and love their features. Bonus points if I'm asked straight up to write what I love about them because I love proclaiming my love and appreciation to those I love.

Here ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

I ramble as, but I appreciate you so very much for sending this. Sometimes it's nice to dream about something that's far reach 😊😊😊😊

—

[milfmoder]

venting under the read more. cw bad grammar. u don’t need to read but pls like if you do :)

im so fucking sick of myself. im sick of looking in the mirror and seeing a boy’s face. its all i can see even after years and years of trying to see my face as a woman’s face (of course its a woman’s face dumbass. its my face and im a woman) but i can’t fucking convince my brain to see it that way. i cn’t even see it as a human face or even mine. its just a random assortment of eyes nose mouth it means nothing its nothing but i can’t walk past a mirror without being reminded that it looks like a guy’s face and thats how people see me

i can sometimes trick myself into seeing the face i wanna see. if im wearing a wig, the hairstyle kinda recontextualises everything and i can be happy with it.

while im talking about wigs fuck alopecia so hard. not the worst condition in the world but holy fuck its so god damn irritating. pre transition my hair was the only part of my body i liked and now its all fucking gone. i do not suit a shaved head. i look even more like a guy with a shaved head. i look like the fuking kapp’n from animal crossing if i dont shave it often enough. ALSO why the fuck can’t it just affect a part where i dont want hair like my chest or face. bitch ass disease.

im just sick to death of all of it. wearing a wig is such a sensory nightmare for me its like im being closed in on, its itchy and sweaty. i have to brush the thing for hours and set aside a day to wash it and im just so fucking fed up with the hassle of it. and my anxiety tells me that everyone can tell its a wig and im not fooling anyone. i just think everyone who goes past me is thinking god what a fucking delusional tranny. who does he think hes fooling.

theres no good solution for this. im just gonna be dysphoric about it no matter what i do. it makes me want to kill myself even more honestly and ik that sounds so stupid to be suicidal over a bit of hair but yeah. i just don’t ever see myself being happy with my body as it is. no matter how happy i am with other things theres always this big fucking asterisk next to it and thats the shit perched on top of my shoulders. im sick of looking like a freak

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Vegas Lights

Warnings: 18+, smuuttt, unprotected sex, one night stand vibes kind of, drinking, alcohol consumption, oral(m receiving), slight daddy kink(mentioned twice), slight slight ass play, dom/sub themes, kinda fluffy at the end not really

Taehyung x female!reader

a/n: I started this fic when they landed in vegas and have been avoiding it since they left lolskdjfkd. I just didn't know what to do with it, but I finally figured it out. Hope you enjoy :)) - nero

Your eyes fluttered open as you felt the sun peak through the blinds. The warmth of spring hits you full force without even stepping outside. You sit up on your couch and reorientate your vision to your surroundings. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you get up from the couch you had taken your nap on and stretch. Feeling the blood rush back through your limbs and your body wake up, you grab your phone which had fallen in the couch cushion.

The clock on your lock screen read 4:50 and you had some notifications from your group chat. Opening your texts, you were faced with your friends planning your evening. You almost didn’t respond back but decided that you definitely needed a night out. With the end of the semester coming up faster than you expected you needed some type of relief.

Taylor: Y/N PLEASE ANSWER YOUR PHONE

Michelle: girl you know if she’s this silent shes prolly asleep 

Cal: bitch pick up the phone i know it take you 9 years to get ready

Taylor: maybe if we just keep texting the notifs will wake her up 

Cal: …we’ve been spamming….

Taylor: we’ll let's keep doing it 

Y/N: damn y’all are needy

Michelle: fINALLY 

Cal: girl wtf you been doing 

Y/N: sleeping…

Cal: you are always sleeping wtf if it’s not that you’re swamped with school

Y/N: sjdkfkds bitch it’s not like i want to be swamped 

Taylor: well maybe if you didn’t wait til the last minute

Y/N: …..

Y/N: .....

Y/N: least i stayed in school leave me alone 

Taylor: HEY 

Michelle: BITCHSDFKDF

Y/N: LOL ANYWAYS

Y/N: are we doing smth tn or whats going on

Michelle: girl i know you know bts in town…wanna hit the strip…and go out and be sexy

Cal: yeah be sexy,,,like always 

Taylor: y’all are delusional it’s not like we gon run into em

Michelle: but we might…

Y/N: like our lil gamble, im down

Y/N: when we leavin

Cal: well it’s almost 4:30 now so yall wanna shoot for 8ish?

Taylor: I’ll drive cuz yall…be stupid

Y/N: lol u right

Y/N: aight see yall in a few

Michelle: go get made up for tae

With that, everyone liked your message and laughed at Michelle’s. A thumbs down coming from Taylor. You looked at your phone and laughed before setting your phone down on the couch and heading into the kitchen to grab something to munch on. 

Opening the fridge you realized you didn’t have much of anything, so you settled on some fruit, grabbed a bottle of water, and walked into your bedroom. Setting your snack down on your bedside table, you walked to your closet and began the treacherous process of creating an outfit for tonight. 

You saw one of your leather tops poking out from the row of clothes, almost calling on you to pick it. You grabbed your black jeans and left the thought of what shoes to wear before you left. Heading into the bathroom you got yourself ready. 

You turned on your tv in your bedroom and put on a playlist so you could have some noise while you got ready. You started with your makeup first, knowing that it always took the longest. Once you finished you started to curl your hair. Feathering it away from your face so you’d have curl and volume once you finished. Pulling the iron out from its socket, you walked back into your main room to grab your phone and give it some charge. 

Hooking it up to its charger, your home screen flashed open and you had 7 unread messages in your group chat and the clock read 7:50. 

How do I always take forever to get ready? 

You thought to yourself. Looking over your messages, you realized that Taylor was already making her way to picking everyone up. As you were reading over your missed messages, another sent through

Michelle: bitch you always the last one you better be ready when we pull up

Y/N: LOL i will i just finished my makeup i just gotta get dressed

Cal: well you better do it quick cuz we bout to pull in your complex 

Y/N: damn

Dropping your phone on the bed you put on your clothes on quickly. Wiggling into your jeans you waddled over to your purse rack glossing your final accessory for the night. Sliding your pants up over the round of your ass, you landed on a purse colored black and purple and resembling fur.

Before deciding on a pair of shoes, you packed your bag of any cosmetics or necessities you may need through the night. You finally decided on a pair of black platforms, that brought you not only height but brought attention to your best asset; your lower half. 

Spritzing yourself with your favorite perfume, you grabbed your phone and your bag and headed out your front door. Turning around to lock your apartment, you texted your group chat that you were on your way down. Coming out the from the stairway of your apartment you heard your friends catcalling you from Taylor's car.

Nothing like a warm welcome

Getting into the backseat you greeted everyone with a side hug due to your confinements in the car. Cal turned around to look at you,

“I’m impressed. I think this is the first time you came out to the car within 10 minutes. Proud of you babe”

“If you want me to take longer I can go take a shit real quick”

Taylor groaned

“Alright, off to the strip we go. If need be take your shit at Caesar’s or something”

You giggled, 

“Where are we going anyway?”

Michelle but in before Taylor could respond

“Girl, ion know how Taylor did it but we going to fuckin Omnia tonight”

“The Steve Aoki club??”

“Yes!”

Taylor looked behind before backing out

“It doesn’t open until 10 so we got like two hours to kill”

“Well technically one because it’s a Friday night and we finna be on the strip.”

You clicked your teeth together letting out a slight hiss 

“Maybe we should grab some food before we drink, or maybe even pregame. We can get those big ass daiquiris the just split it while we walk around before it opens.”

Cal hummed in agreement.

“Not a bad idea Y/N

Taylor looked up in the rearview mirror checking the lane over to make sure she was clear to enter the far right lane. 

“Okay so I’m gonna park at the Venetian because it’s right across the street and we won’t have to pay for parking” 

Cal groaned 

“But it’s so far.”

Pulling into the driveway of the Venetian Taylor turned around 

“Do you want to pay $20 for parking?”

The silence that erupted in the car was soon disturbed by bubbles of giggles. 

“That’s what I thought” 

After searching around the floors for a parking spot, you guys finally found one, and all climbed out of the car. Michelle swiped down the bottom of her skirt and huffed out. 

“I did not think my shoes through” 

As you guys were walking to the elevator Taylor laughed but assured your friend that she would be alright. 

“We have a table so if you want, all you can do tonight is sit and look pretty.” 

“Haha very funny”

Coming down the elevator, you could smell the faint scent of various cigarettes and cigars pouring through the vents. The signature slightly clean scent that all Vegas hotels had was the overtone of the atmosphere. The elevator finally dinged down to the ground level and you guys began your trek out to the boulevard. 

Turning left onto the street, you saw Omnia on the right side of the street. Looking around the strip felt different. It didn’t feel like Vegas. The strip's aura was different with the addition of BTS being in town. The strip being purple, the Borahegas posters adorning some billboards, the pop-up shops you knew were around town, and the billboards playing their faces. It all felt new and fresh. The warm welcome for BTS making Vegas seem not so dull for once in your life. 

As you guys continued your walk, you saw a Fat Tuesday’s not too far ahead. 

“Hey, guys, why don’t we go to Fat Tuesday’s. We can get the big frozen drink there!” 

Despite the line you saw forming from the building, you guys didn’t mind because it was a Friday night. Everywhere was going to be busy so you kinda had to suck it up. The further you walked into the strip the more the scent changed and now it resembled something of New York. Humid trash, sewage, and an array of smoke filled the air. 

By the time you guys reached the counter to get your drinks, it was bordering 9:30pm. Spotting Ceasar’s Palace in the distance, you guys decided to make the walk down to Omnia. The walk took up most of the time and the rest was spent waiting in the line for the club to open. Once inside the atmosphere had one thing on your mind. 

I’m bringing someone or someone is taking me home tonight. 

You had been long overdue for some loving in the sheets and you were determined to have that rectified this evening. Looking around the building, the lights were more than bright, the music had your chest vibrating. The bass reverberating off your fleshy walls and finding purchase in your stomach. You looked over towards the bar but your friends kept walking further, following Taylor. 

Trying to catch up, your eyes caught a man with floppy black hair, bangs hanging softly to the side, and in a white shirt tracking your moves. His stare was intense and it had excitement brewing in your stomach. Shooting him a small smile, you whipped your head back towards your friends and followed them outside. 

Cal was the first to speak up. 

“Bitch you got a fuckin table?? Who’d you blow for this?”

You and Michelle both laughed, Michelle, finding comfort in the seating provided.  

Taylor rolled her eyes and shot Cal a look. 

“Your dad, now what do you want to drink?”

“First of all, my dad is nowhere near a dilf so props to you soldier. Second, Sex on the Beach.”

You laughed 

“Fruity bitch.” 

“Y/N we go over this every time, not everyone likes to be throwing ass by their second drink, some of us like to enjoy being tipsy.”

“Sounds fruity to me” 

“Girl, shut up.”

Looking towards Michelle she waved you off and told you her usual. 

You all giggled and Taylor looked at you motioning you to come with her to the bar. Approaching the long counter, you saw a familiar head. 

They guy from when you walked in. It was as if he could sense your presence, his head turning to glance over his surroundings and he stopped abruptly, taking a quick double take when his eyes fell on you. You bowed your head slightly, feeling a little flushed.  You straightened yourself out and leaned up against the bar to tell the bartender your order. Standing up straight you looked to your left finally becoming acquainted with the eyes that were boring into you. 

He looked down at you and smirked. A range of emotions ran through your face before he finally spoke. 

“Taehyung. What’s your name beautiful?” 

“Y/N.”

“Pretty name you have there.”

You giggled looking down at the counter, as if the gods above were trying to save you from your own embarrassment, the bartender slid your drinks toward you and Taylor. 

“Want me to start a tab for you guys or is this it for now?

Taylor spoke before you 

“We’ll close it for now.”

The bartender gave the total and Taylor just told you to zelle her your part once you got to the table. She grabbed the third drink. 

“What are you doing, I’ll help.”

Taylor came up to your ear, 

“Girl, you are about to be real busy, come back when you’re finished with him.”

She laughed, leaving you with a strand of shame before looking back to the man named Taehyung. Wanting a conversation to start flowing you racked your brain for conversation starters. 

“So what brings you out here?”

Really Y/N? That’s your best thought??

What surprised you was how his eyes seemed to go wide at your question. Almost as if he was confused by it. 

“Well for a few things actually. My band members and I are performing for the Grammy’s this weekend and we have a few shows the two weeks following.”

For some reason, who it was you were talking to was not clicking. Even though half of the reason for coming out tonight was to “run into BTS and be sexy”, you were in fact face to face with a BTS member and couldn’t bring yourself to run with the reality of it. You were holding a conversation with Taehyung himself yet you did not recognize in the moment that it was Taehyung. In doing so, your next question further caught him off guard. 

“Oh! That’s pretty awesome! What’s your band's name?” 

Proudly, he slipped back into his native tongue. “방탄소년단” falling from his lips. Suddenly reality hit you. You realized whom it was you were talking with and now your stomach was in your ass. 

“-but most people know us by just BTS.” 

Keep your cool Y/N. Don’t give in just yet 

Trying to keep your facade up, you kept with the idea that you did not know who he was. You wanted not only to have a shot at getting laid, but also you wanted to let him feel like he could have a normal experience with someone and not be mauled by useless questions and fanatics. 

“Oh! Yeah! I think I’ve heard a few of your guys’ songs before.”

“Did you like them?”

You laughed trying to expel some of your anxieties 

“Yeah, actually! I’m not a big pop music person but you guys have a lot of range so there’s so much variety to your music. It’s cool” 

He nodded his head, looking like he was searching for another topic of discussion. Or perhaps he was just figuring you out. You grabbed your drink and sucked back more than half of it through the two straws in a less than poor attempt to rid yourself of your nerves. Looking back up at Taehyung you went to open your mouth to speak but he beat you to it.

“Thirsty?”

He cocked his eyebrow, fully indulging in making you squirm in front of him. As you scrambled to find words to a response, he laughed and cut you off again.

“Don’t hurt yourself thinking darling, I’m just playing with you. Wanna dance?”

You couldn’t believe this. You were actually about to dance with an idol, and not just any idol it was Taehyung. You felt like you were in a sick dream and at any moment this was going to be ripped from you with your eyes tearing open from sleep. Unconsciously, you nodded your head to him and he placed his hand out for you to grab. When your palm met his, you finally actualized your situation. This was real and it was happening to you. 

With the alcohol in your system begging to brew and settle in between your legs creating warmth and you were beginning to find newfound confidence. You swayed your hips with a little more fluidity as he guided you through the crowds of people. Finally reaching the main area of the floor, you felt sensuality seep into your being. You looked up at him with a hopeful innocent look, but anybody could see the desire swimming in your pupils.

A song you knew came through the speakers, and you laid your back against his chest moving your hips to the bass of the song. Feeling yourself loosen up, you wanted to almost present yourself to him, give him a reason to want to take you back to his room. 

You swayed your body against him, your plump ass grinding against his lower half more than a few times. His hands were large, larger than you could ever imagine and they enveloped you like velvet ropes. They were rough yet gentle in nature and knew exactly where to touch you while you two were in each other’s embrace.

You felt butterflies and warmth flourish in your stomach and lower half. You spun around with this grandiose confidence and you rolled your body against his following the flow of the music. You wrapped your arms around his neck and a smirk grew on his face.

“Who’s this minx I’m with now? What happened to the timid little lady over at the bar?”

You smiled and lightly tangled your hands in his curls at the bottom of his head fire

“Guess I finally got out of my head.” 

To the beat of the music, you snaked your way down his body and looked up at him, your eyes filled with concupiscent intent. As you made your way back up, you turned your body back around to place your backside against his front. He placed his large hand on your hip and pushed your body into his, leaving no room for apprehension. 

“You’re quite the dancer Y/N. Wonder if the way you move translates somewhere else.”

He trailed off, pulling back away from you only to spin you back to face him so he could gauge your expression. You bit your lip in anticipation and smiled at him.

“What are you getting at Taehyung?”

The way your voice dripped off your tongue sent a chill up his spine and blood in between his legs. He felt himself twitch behind his pants and he wrapped his arms around your waist again now pressing you against him so that you could feel the effect of yourself on him.

“I think you know exactly what I’m getting at sweetheart. Wanna get out of here?”

You smiled.

“I would want nothing more.”

The crowd of people shielded your hand grazing over the front of his pants to punctuate your desire for him.

“But first I need to go back to my table and grab my bag.”

Taehyung stepped back and guided his hand in front of him

“Lead the way.”

Walking back toward the back of the venue you eventually made it through the endless maze of people and back to the table where all your girls resided. As you finally came into view, Michelle was the first one to notice you and then her eye flew from her skull noticing the man trailing behind. You made a face that silently said “Please don’t freak out”. To which she just knocked back her drink to find her composure. 

As you walked up to the table you grabbed your bag and told them your plan for the night. 

“I know it’s kinda early but I met this man and were gonna walk the strip for a bit. He wants me to show him around.”

Taehyung smiled behind you lightly, partly due to your bold face lie and partly due to the reactions around the table. Cal spoke up second looking at you with judging eyes. 

“You crazy bitch. A’ight have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

You laughed 

“That’s practically everything, Cal.”

“Exactly.”

She pointed behind you with her drink,

“As for you, I’ll find out everything in the blink of an eye. So, don’t do anything stupid.”

Taehyung threw his hand up in defeat

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

You finally picked up your bag and gave everyone a hug, itching to get out of there. When you reached Taylor, she hugged you a little tighter than usual and spoke directly into your ear so that only you could hear.

“You’re crazy you know that?”

“It’s literally what we came out here for I can’t pass it up.”

“I’m not gonna stop you, but please be careful. And if anything you know I’ll be there faster than a minute. Send me your location when you get to wherever you’re going.”

You pulled away from her and you both shared a tender moment silently letting each other know your thoughts.

“I’ll let you know everything as soon as I can.”

“Good. Okay, enough sap, go fuck your heart out and tell us everything in the morning.”

You finally walked away your hand laced in Taehyung’s so that maneuvering through the club would be easier. You went out an opposite way than you came in and you assumed that it was for private valet purposes. Once you reached the outside, a cool breeze passed through the air, sending you to press into Taehyung’s side.

“Someone’s eager.”

“It was the wind you ass, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

He hummed in response as a blacked out SUV, pulled into the driveway of the valet. Taehyung looked at and nudged his head toward the car.

“C’mon princess, let’s get in.”

He opened the door for you something that surprised you for some reason. As you slid into the back seat, Taehyung scooted in next to you getting almost unbearably close. You could finally smell him without the overbearing scents of everything around you and it was intoxicating. He flushed out a scent of light musk and something reminiscent of freshly burnt tobacco. You wanted to bottle it and save it till the end of time. As he shut the door the driver looked behind through the lowered partition. 

“Back to the mansions, sir?”

“Yes. And would you mind rolling up the partition?”

The driver nodded his head and began his route to “mansions”. You could feel Taehyung’s eyes boring into the side of you and slowly turned your head to look at him. Your eyes glazed over. He patted his lap and looked back up into your eyes.

“Come a little closer, I don’t bite. Hard, at least.”

You tossed your purse to the other side of the car and straddled his lap.

He dragged his hands up and down your torso before bringing his hand up to your cheek. 

“You are so breathtakingly beautiful. I can’t wait to ruin you.”

A pulse involuntarily ripped through your core and Taehyung wanted nothing more than to let you know that he felt it completely.

“Oh, so you want the same thing, huh?”

His hand spidered around to the nape of your neck and grabbed a handful of your hair, controlling your movements. 

“You’re a filthy little one, aren’t you?”

You trailed your hands down the front of his torso and slowly calculated your eyes back up to his. Your hands were beginning to tangle in his hair again before you spoke.

“Why don't you find out, daddy?”

It was as if every inhibition that he had was torn away by the sheer desire he felt for you. He halted his movements for a moment, hovering his lips over yours. You weren’t gonna fold so you played with him in return. Reaching forward as if you were going to make the final move and then backing away slightly making him chase you. He reinforced his grip in your hair and finally pressed his lips on top of yours. 

The kiss was rapacious. Filled with a mutual need that could only be satiated in one way. You kissed him back with full voracity, grinding yourself into his lap. His hands moved from your hair, down to your thighs and grabbed as much as he could, molding your skin to his liking. With a roll of your hips, you felt him growing beneath you and you let a small moan slip. 

You felt him smirk and in an attempt to regain a bit of control you bit his bottom lip pulling away at it. A groan left him and he pulled away from you. Even in the darkness of the car, you could sense the blown out look on his face. 

“You said you didn’t bite, I never said anythin-“

He cut you off pulling you in closer and settling his mouth at the crossroads where your neck and shoulders met. He placed open mouth kisses before lightly biting down, waiting to see your reaction. With the airy moan that left you, he continued his assault. You grabbed his face and guided it to look back at yours to kiss his lips again. You felt your head become clouded with lust as the car began slowing down. 

“Tae-“

“Sir, we have arrived. Anything else you need before I let you two out?” 

“No, thank you.” 

With that, Taehyung moved you off of him to open the door. You grabbed your purse and slid to the side of the open door where Taehyung was waiting with his hand held out for you. 

“Thank you.” 

Looking up, you realized you were outside of the Mansions at MGM. You only ever really heard about this property considering you never had the means to be in such a high end area in the first place. In your stupor, you failed to hear Taehyung calling your name. The cadence of his voice was something nuanced in the distance. You finally came to and the look in Taehyung’s eyes was enough to make anyone feel everything nerves had to offer. You cowered your neck in a bit of embarrassment as he led you to the entrance of the building.

“I see the woman from the bar decided to join us on our trip.”

“Sorry I just didn’t expect to pull up here ya know?”

“What were you expecting sweetheart?”

“A hotel and not the mansions” 

You chuckled out literally trying to expel yourself of any nerves. For some reason, this seemed to work because the moment you stepped inside the need you felt from earlier made its reappearance. Feeling a bit more comfortable in the reclusive nature of the building. You walked a little closer to him, leaning your body into his while you two waited for the elevator to open. Taking a quick look at your surroundings, you realized that no one was in your general vicinity so you snaked your hand down the front of his body and brought your head to his shoulder to look at him in the eye. 

“I wouldn’t get too ahead of yourself.”

Taehyung had a warning look in his eyes telling you to stop while you continued your ministrations subtly. When the elevator door opened you pulled yourself away from him and followed him in. You decided to open your group chat and send your location so they would feel a little bit safer knowing where you were. When you did you put your phone back into your purse but immediately felt a rush of vibrations wave through the fabric. Y

ou smiled to yourself, and just before you had the chance to look over at Taehyung, the bell dinged to the floor he was on and the doors opened. He grabbed your hand and brought you out quickly to walk down the hall to his room. Upon reaching the door, you barely had the chance to see him open it before you were spun around and pushed against the inside of the door. 

“Think you can do whatever you want just cause I brought you here with me?”

“Considering you’ve done nothing to make me think otherwise, yeah I do.”

You chuckled but it was soon overshadowed by Taehyung’s scoff as he shook his head. 

“You’re a brat.”

“Glad you figured that out. Now, what are you gonna do about it.”

The ball was in his court and it seemed like he didn’t know how to do anything but hold it. His energy seemed to shy for a blip in time before a dominating aura encased him. Taehyung brought his hand next to your head that was resting against the door and brought his body inches away from your own. You felt your gall dwindle at this moment feeling like prey in his presence. He brought his face to yours and spoke again. 

“Tell me what you want and maybe I’ll indulge.”

You looked up facing him in his eyes and smiled one last time before he took over the reins for the night completely.

“I don’t beg…daddy.”

His response was one more than unexpected but it excited you entirely.

“You will.”

There was a different kind of hunger to this kiss than the one that was shared in the car. It’s like he was trying to prove something to you with this one. You let your purse drop from your arm, landing on the floor by your feet and you brought your hands up to his body. His hands began roaming your curves and you rolled your body into his. Reaching the curve of your ass, he squeezed at the flesh again and you brought your leg up, riding against the side of his own.

“Jump.”

Swallowing any doubt about yourself you listened to his command. You jumped and wrapped your legs around him. He carried you both to the bed and he laid you down, the motion somewhat gentler than all his previous actions. You attempted you keep the kiss in motion, but he pulled away leaving you chasing after him. Smirking at you he got a premiere showing of your want for him and he relished in that before you had the chance to take it away from him.

He brought his lips back to yours and when he did you tried to fight your place for dominance for a spare moment. You swiped your tongue along his lip, asking permission before embarking on your ministration with his mouth. Your tongue slipped into his mouth with permission granted from his end. Your tongues campaigned for preeminence over each other and Taehyung smiled into the kiss sensing your objective.

He tried to pull away again but you seized his lips in between your teeth, halting his movements. Taehyung complied with your actions leaning back into the kiss. His hands roamed your body once again, finding purchase on your breast, where he pinched your nipple making you gasp. 

With his lips freed from your reign, he began leaving opened mouth kisses on your neck and trailing down to the valley of your breasts. Unzipping the leather top, he was met with the pleasant surprise that you were free of a bra underneath your top. 

“Expecting something to happen Y/N?”

“Not necessarily but I’m glad that it is.”

Slipping the top off, he threw it across the room. He continued his trail down to the hem of your pants, undoing them and peeling the fabric away from your skin. Reaching your ankles he removed you of your shoes as well. Feeling overly vulnerable due to your lack of clothes, you waited for him to hover back above you before whining and pulling at his shirt. 

“You’re wearing too much.”

“Then take it off sweetheart.”

Pulling apart at the buttons you undid his shirt and as he slipped out of the sleeves you admired his naked upper half. Going silent you seemed to forget that this was real life and not a movie that you could just pause and stare at. His voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“Y/N, take a picture instead. You can stare as long as you want.”

You rolled your eyes up at him, internally embarrassed by his comment realizing that you had just been caught red handed. Sticking your embarrassment somewhere else within you, you found the confidence to flip the two of you over, leaving you on top. With you in this new position, you felt vulnerable and powerful all in the same breath.

Leaning down you brought yourself to the belt on his pants, undoing it and his pants. You looked up at him and removed him from his bottom half of clothing, shoes included. Letting the array of fabrics pool on the floor you brought your hand up to massage over the bulge residing in his underwear. 

A small hiss left his mouth, letting a small smile form on your face. Gently placing your fingertips at the hem of his underwear, you began slowly pulling down the fabric much to Taehyung’s muller. Rubbing over his clothed cock one more time you wanted to see if you could get a moan out of him and you did. Built up need and anticipation were vocalized and that’s all you needed to relieve him of his cottoned prison. 

Watching his dick spring out of his underwear and against his stomach had your mouth salivating immediately. Whipping your hair to one side, you brought your mouth down to his tip. Placing small licks underneath the tip, you waited for him to say something, and it never came.

Feeling that you had control over the situation, you continued to do what knew best. Flattening your tongue against his hard cock, you dragged it from base to tip, dragging out a long moan from his lips. Teasingly, you sucked on his tip before dangling over his tip gathering spit in your mouth to dribble down his cock. 

Hollowing out your cheeks, you fit as much of him as you could. When you reached his base, his hairs tickling at the tip of your nose, he groaned out. Finally relishing in the pleasure he’d been seeking. But it wasn’t enough.

He wanted more of you. He needed it. Out of your sight, his hand combed through your hair causing you to look up at him through your lashes, something that had him rolling his head back with an esoteric chuckle. 

“Y/N, god damn.”

His hand that was once allowing him to look at your face, was now traveling to the back of your head and he gave a test push, seeing what your reaction would be. You smiled to yourself and brought your head up. He went to open up his mouth, but before he could you beat him to it. 

“Use me, Taehyung.”

His eyes blew wide and so did his pupils, lust becoming their new color. With newly granted permission, Taehyung began fucking your mouth. His cock was hitting the back of your throat and you were swallowing your gags as best you could for his moans were sending pulses straight to your pussy. With each thrust, you could feel yourself getting wetter. 

“Y/N, fuck. I’m cumming.” 

You hummed against him adding to the stimulation he was already feeling. Then with the swiftness of wind, his tone changed and his grip on your hair became just a bit tighter than before. 

“Swallow it.”

And who were you to deny? With a few more pumps of your head, you felt his load be released into your mouth. Warm and with a bite, you savored the taste. When you felt the shots decrease to nothing but twitches of his muscle, you pulled yourself off of him and swallowed all he had to offer.

Moving any hair from your face, you looked at him and showcased your tongue of what it had nothing to show. Wiping leftover saliva from the corner of your mouth Taehyung lurched forward flipping you onto your back. 

What surprised you was the growl that erupted from his throat. With an intense ferocity, his lips were back on yours again. But you needed more than just his mouth. There was a violent ache between your legs and you needed to be satiated by anything other than a kiss. His cock was in view and surprisingly fully erect again. You arched your back away from the bed, weaving your fingers through his loose waves. Whining you let out a small 

“..Please..”

Pulling away he smirked

“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Please. Please Taehyung. I need you.”

Smiling he brought his hands to the lace trimming of your panties, pulling them down your legs and tossing them on the floor. 

“What happened to ‘I don’t beg’”

Rubbing your face into the pillow, you looked up at him

“Fuck that, I need you. I need you so bad.”

He was savoring this side of you. So much so that he decided to see how much further he could push you. Rubbing his cock against your folds, he placed himself right before he could fully enter you. 

“How much Y/N? I don’t think I know how much you actually need it.”

“Taeyhung, please! I need you inside me. I need to feel you ruin me. Please, just fuck me already!”

Before your vocal cords had the chance to let the words reverbate against your chest, he sunk himself inside your walls all the way to the base. You both moaned out at the long, anticipated feeling. He filled you up so well. You couldn’t tell whether it was just your hormones making this feel more intense than what it was but you swore you could feel the vein on his cock drag against your walls each time he thrust in and out of you. 

“Tae, fuck. Holy fuck you feel so good.”

He hovered over you, his face hanging inches above your own. His nose dusting yours. 

“Yeah? Feels good baby, huh?”

Your hands found purchase on his toned back and dragged down his skin, earning a graon from him.

“Yes, fuck. You feel so good, Tae!”

“Shit keep calling me that.”

His pace increased and there was an unspoken need between the two of you that needed to be released. Your walls kept clenching around him, a warmth beginning to spread in your lower half. But Taehyung was not going to let you feel your release without a chance to mock your need. 

“Aww, is my baby close, hmm?”

“Yes, yes Tae, right there. I’m close, I’m so close!”

Bringing his hand down to your clit, he began rubbing you in small circles bringing you to your climax closer than you thought. When you released, it was full body. Your pussy was clamping around him and your stomach was spasming in on itself. Truly losing control in your pleasure. Before you had a chance to come down from your high, you felt yourself being flipped on your hands and knees. 

“You said you wanted to be used.”

Taehying came down to your ear to deliver the last bit. 

“And I’m gonna use you.”

Taking his length, he entered you again and began an unrelenting pace. His cock was reaching places it hadn’t previously. Kissing your cervix and grinding against that special little spongy spot inside of you. You screamed out at the pleasure. Your back arching as far as it could giving him more access to you. Taehyung grabbed your hips and moved his hands eloquently to hold onto the fat of your ass, moving it in tandem with his thrusts. 

You couldn’t see it, but there was a darker look that overtook Taehyungs features while staring at the ripple of your ass against him. Gathering spit in his mouth, he let the glob of saliva hit your puckered hole.

The surprise sensation caused your eyes to open and you turned your head around to face him. You felt his hand move toward the middle of your ass and before you could voice your query, his thumb pushed inside of your tightest of holes.

Your eyes rolled back, the extra sensation sending you somewhere beyond oblivion

“Fuckin shit, Tae!”

You lost all decorum. Your breath was fast and loud and your moans even louder. Taehyung’s moans grew in frequency, sending down your spiral of pleasure even faster than before. 

“Y/N, fuck. I’m gonna cum. Where do you want me?”

“Inside.”

“Shit are you sure?”

“Tae, please, cum inside me.”

With both of your holes being stimulated, you couldn’t help how desperate you sounded. You felt your rapture on the horizon and you weren’t finding any reason to stop it. 

“Fucking slut. You’re filthy, so fucking filthy.”

You knew his words were in vain, his breath overtaking most of his tone as his peak rushed upon him. His thrusts faltered into something less punctuated and you felt his warmth coat your body once again. Feeling him release inside of you sent your you climax over its precipice. Squeezing around him so tightly, he groaned as he finished inside of you.

Slowing himself down, you began to feel him soften and he pulled out of you completely. Laying down on the bed next to you, you let your body fall limp. Trying to catch your breath you looked at him weakly, body still overcome by dissipating lust. 

“Where’s um, where's the bathroom in here?”

He pointed.

“There’s one by the main door and then there’s one over there.”

Nodding, you brought yourself up and walked towards the one by the main door. You grabbed your purse off the floor and walked in. You glanced over your appearance and were surprised by the woman you saw looking back at you. You smiled lightly, the after sex glow overshadowing the mess of your makeup. 

Cleaning yourself up, you grabbed your phone from your purse and walked back out into the bedroom getting ready to grab your clothes and leave for the night, not wanting to overstay your welcome. Taehyung was stretched out on the bed, clearly having already cleaned himself up, and was watching your every move. You didn’t notice yet, because your shyness had returned just as easily as it left. The timbre of his voice snapped your head up out of its thoughts. 

“There’s a shirt there you can use for the night. I don’t really have much else that would fit as pajamas I think.”

You furrowed your brow

“For the night?”

“Yes? I’m not gonna have you walk around at night here trying to find your friends again. Although I’m sure you could do it, it wouldn’t sit right with me.”

“So you want me to stay here?”

“Thought that was more than obvious, darling.”

“Oh, okay…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want to impose.”

“Y/N, it’s not imposing if I’m offering.”

You nodded silently in agreement, smiling lightly. You slipped into his shirt and it hit just past your mid thigh. Grateful that it covered more than you thought it would. A gentle pat caught your attention and Taehyung was looking at you while patting the space next to him. Climbing back in the bed, you got comfortable, but not too close not wanting to invade his space.

“After all that just happened, now you’re even shyer?”

“I just don’t wanna be weird!”

He laughed. Your personality checking all of his boxes. 

“You’re funny.”

“Glad you think so.”

He grabbed your body and scooted you closer to him so that you had no choice but to be laid on top of him.

“You know, if you don’t have any plans tomorrow. I’d quite enjoy you showing me around here. Maybe some of your favorite spots…”

He trailed off, passing the ball into your court. 

“Sure, I’d love to.”

He smiled to himself and reached over the bedside table to grab the remote and turn on the TV. You grabbed your phone and texted your group chat one last time for the night.

Y/N: Y’all are not gonna believe what I have to tell you…

Clicking your phone off you placed it beside you and rested your head on Taehyung’s lap, slowly feeling yourself drift off to sleep.

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Do You Trust Me?

Pairing: Arvin Russel x Reader

Summary: When Lenora finds out she’s pregnant and another girl turns up pregnant and murdered, Arvin and Y/N take matters into their own hands. 

Warnings: Violence, Murder, Sexual Assualt, Teen Pregnancy, Cursing, Mentions of Rape, Bullying, Dark Religious Themes, Talk of Abortion  DO NOT READ IF THESE BOTHER YOU (Very similar things to the movie)

Word Count: 7000

A/N: So Lenora doesn’t die in this but that part is instead replaced by the Reaster girl being found dead (I named her Jeanette... I didn’t remember if they gave her a first name)

A/N 2: I know I’m writing characters that exist already but like I feel like I’m going to Hell for writing this. Any other Christians feel that way about liking the movie?

___________________________________

Secrets were hard to keep in such a small town as Coal Creek. Everyone knew everyone and if one person saw something, the whole town knew about it by next morning. That’s why Lenora had kept her secrets with Reverend Teagarden from all except you. Other than Arvin, you were her only friend in the world. It felt nice to have another girl to talk to because as much as she loved her brother, it was nothing like having a sister. Though you weren’t related, just friends from school, it was the closest thing she had. 

The two of you had bonded over the harassment from boys at school. Unlike Lenora, you had no problem dishing back threats and abuse. You were more like Arvin in that sense, not always terrified that the Lord was going to smite you for defending yourself. You and Arvin were close too because of it. 

The day you two met, he’d gone to pick Lenora up from school one day to find the two of you cornered out back by Dinwoodie and his boys. They called Lenora ugly, as per their daily routine, and said they wouldn’t fuck her with a bag on a her head. Tommy Matheson had a paper bag held over her face, holding her down while she squirmed. 

“There ain’t nothing alive that would willingly let you touch them, Dinwoodie!” You spat while Orville Buckman held you back, his arms wrapped around your body, keeping your arms . pinned to your side, “You’re a vile thing. Hell, I’m sure a dead pig wouldn’t let you fuck it.” 

Dinwoodie spun around and blew a hard smack across your face, “Lenora here ain’t much different than that. But you on the other hand, I’d take you whether you wanted it or not. I like a girl with a dirty mouth. And lucky you, I won’t make you wear the bag.” 

He fisted your hair and pulled your face close to him, trying to force a kiss from you but spat in his face, a massive drip of saliva landing in his eyes and smaller particles spewed across his lips. “You nasty bi-” Gene Dinwoodie reared back, ready to hit you again when suddenly Arvin came out of nowhere, sending a solid blow straight into Gene’s face, sending him flying to the ground with a crack. 

Orville let you go to go after Arvin and Tommy did the same to Lenora. You ran over to her and pulled the bag from her head, seeing evidence of her silent tears all over her face. Once you saw she was okay though, you ran over to help Arvin, who had found himself dragged to the ground by the three boys. Lenora got up too, screaming for them to stop. 

“Stop!” You yelled, pulling at Gene’s arms to try and get him to stop kicking Arvin. He shoved you back harshly by the chest but you caught yourself, returning with a sharp blow to his face with your locked fist. 

The enraged boy smacked you even harder than before, sending your ass to the ground with thud that you knew would leave a bruise. Your hands and knees got skinned up as you skid slightly on the pavement. Lenora kept pulling on the boys too, begging them to stop but to no avail. 

“Ha, sister fucker!” The three of them called out to Arvin before leaving the three of you alone. 

“Are you okay?” You asked the boy that you hadn’t met before, who was curled up in a ball on the ground and holding his stomach. He groaned in response, trying to push himself up but requiring your assistance. “Thank you for what you did back there. I’m sorry this happened.” 

He stretched, flinching at the slight movement. He sent a small nod towards you but then turned towards Lenora, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, Lenora.” Words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt for allowing this to happen. 

“It-it’s okay, Arvin. It wasn’t that bad this time. Y/N here took the brunt of it, unfortunately.” Lenora turned to you, “‘M sorry about that, by the way. You didn’t need to step in for me.” 

You had stood up about the same time Arvin did, brushing as much of the dirt off your bleeding and scraped up knees as you could without flinching, “Those guys are ass holes, Lenora. I did need to.” 

Lenora piped up, “Oh, um, Y/N, this is my brother Arvin. Arvin, this is Y/N. She just moved here.” 

“It’s nice to meet ya.” You greeted the boy with a pained smile, your face hurting from the blows you’d just taken. 

Arvin nodded, “You too.” He paused for a moment, “Can I give you a ride home? I don’t need them boys catching up with you again on the ride home. Besides, your face is getting mighty red. I might have something back at my house to keep it from bruising up too bad.” 

You looked over at Lenora, sending her a questioning look, like asking if you could trust this boy who had just come to your rescue, which may have seemed like an odd inquiry to have since he just tried to take on the guys harassing you, but your encounters with boys in this town hadn’t gone all too well thus far. The girl looked unfazed though with almost a hint of excitement that you could possibly be going to her home. 

“Um, yeah, I’d like that. Thank you.” You tucked a messy strand of hair behind your ear before looking back up at Arvin to see that he was already staring at you. 

That was months ago. You’d gotten settled into Coal Creek by now and the abuse from Dinwoodie had stopped entirely after Arvin had gone full vigilante to beat the shit out of them all. Speaking of Arvin, the day he saved you and Lenora, he asked you on a date and the pair of you had been going steady ever since. If there was ever a couple to not be fucked with, the town had learned it was you two. 

This weekend, you’d gone over to the Russel’s home for supper at their Grandma’s invitation. It was delicious, as usual, as that woman had the God-given ability to produce miracles in that kitchen. As you all finished up, Uncle Earskell asked Arvin to help with something upstairs so he left without a second thought to help his kin. 

Lenora had been looking at you funny all night, as if trying to catch your eye. After helping Grandma (which she insisted you call her as well) clean up supper, Lenora pulled you off to the side, “Y/N, let’s go on a walk. I need to tell you something.” 

The weight in her eyes told you how serious this was so you just nodded, “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.” 

She grabbed a lantern on her way out the door and towards the barn. It was already dark, despite only being seven in the evening. Lenora led you out there and then closed the door before sitting on the hay. “So what is it?” You asked nervously. Normally, you would have made a joke but something told you that this wasn’t a joking matter. Anxiety buzzed all around her. 

“Y’know the new pastor? Preston Teagarden?” Lenora began, wringing her hands together and beginning to hide under her long red hair. 

You nodded, the question having an obvious answer as everyone, including your God fearing Mama and Aunt, went to church every Sunday. “What about ‘im?” 

“Well… um… y’see. We… we had sex.” She whispered the last word like it was the dirtiest thing she could fathom saying. 

Your eyes blew wide and your mouth dropped open, “You what?” You whispered back in shock. 

“Shh!” She held her finger up to her lips, “He said that to bear yourself as God made his first children was to truly turn yourself to Him.” 

You were having a difficult time processing this new information. Arvin and you had both agreed that there was something off about that new preacher since the first day you met him but you wouldn’t have guessed it was anything like this. “Lenora, that makes no sense. God sees everything. He’s already seen you in your birthday suit. He doesn’t need the preacher to see it too.” 

Part of you felt bad for the way you were reacting, especially when you saw the way your best friend shrunk back a little in embarrassment. Clearly, he’d manipulated her into getting what he wanted, using her faith as a weapon for her sexual exploitation, but of course she didn’t see it like that because his words were specifically tailored to get her to believe him. Now as you said these things, though, it was becoming clearer to Lenora that she had been manipulated. 

“That’s not all…” She continued. 

You held her arm gently, “What is it?” 

Her eyes got wide with fear, “You can’t tell anyone okay? You gotta promise.” Her hand covered yours, gripping tightly to ensure that you grasped the severity of the situation. 

You swallowed hard, honestly scared by her reactions to whatever was happening. This wasn’t like sweet, simple, calm Lenora. Nonetheless, you nodded, “I promise.” 

“I think I’m pregnant.” 

You actually choked, “What? Are you sure?” This was bad. This was so bad. 

Her eyes began to well up with guilty tears, “Yeah, I am. I was pretty sick a few weeks back. Couldn’t eat nothin’ cause I kept throwin’ up. And I haven’t had that time of the month in  two months.” 

“Two months, Lenora? Shit…” You whispered, leaning back against the hay. Even before moving to Coal Creek, you came from a small town in Pennsylvania where this had happened to a few girls. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon in that particular town. Your daddy had been a doctor before he died so you’d seen more than a few cases of teenage pregnancy. For Lenora, though, this was practically unheard of. Good Christian girls don’t have babies before marriage. “Did you tell ‘im?” 

Lenora’s breath shook, “Yeah ‘nd he said I was crazy and delusional. Just imaginin’ things. Said we never did nothin’ in the car. Then he said that I had to get rid of the baby or I’d be branded as the town whore with a bastard son. Even said it’d kill Grandma from the shame of it all if anyone found out.” 

“That is not true, Lenora. None of it. You’re not a whore and it would be best for everyone if that baby inside you was a bastard. That disgusting man isn’t fit to walk the Earth we live on, let alone be a father.” It felt like the blood was rushing through your veins with full force, internally panicking about the situation. This was a big deal and, unfortunately, you weren’t sure if Lenora was emotionally capable enough to handle it alone. She’d always been quiet and lonely and an easy target for cruel people. “Are you keepin’ it?” 

Her breathing shuddered as if she’d started crying, “I can’t kill the baby inside me and go on livin’ with that. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared,Y/N.” Lenora threw her arms around you and you held her as her body rattled against yours. 

“Shh, you got me, alright? Me and Arvin. And I’m sure Grandma wouldn’t be ashamed if she knew what Teagarden did to you.” You insisted but she shook her head. 

“You must think I’m stupid for believin’ that man.” She sat up wiping her eyes with her sleeve. 

“No! I do not think you’re stupid at all. That monster took advantage of you, told you things to make you believe that his dirty, lustful thoughts were vindicated by the Lord. And he’s going to fucking pay.” You were furious now as you began to stand up, unsure of exactly what you’d do but you knew you were gonna do it. 

Lenora grabbed your arm and pulled you back down, “No! Wait! Please-” 

“What’s going on here?” Arvin opened the door with a concerned face. 

Both you and Lenora jumped at his sudden intrusion but were even more nervous about what he’d heard. 

“How much did you hear?” Lenora asked her brother, rubbing her hands on her thighs. 

He walked in and slammed the door shut behind him, kneeling down in front of you and his sister, “That someone took advantage of you and Y/N was gonna make ‘im pay. Now what happened? What’s going on?” 

This was one of the things that you’d always loved about Arvin. He had this protective nature over what he loved, ready to do anything to keep his loved ones safe, whether that was his sister, his girlfriend, or his grandmother. His brown eyes held so much sincerity and understanding for his younger sister but also fear for what had been done to her. 

When she didn’t respond right away, Arvin looked over to you with questioning desperate eyes but you chewed your lip, knowing that it wasn’t your secret to tell. Instead, you looked back over to Lenora sadly and nudged her slightly. 

“C-can you say? Please? I don’t wanna say it again.” Lenora begged you quietly, avoiding eye contact with Arvin. Though you could never truly know she felt, you tried to understand all the emotions that must have been running through her. 

Arvin met your eyes, begging you to tell him what had happened. “She’s pregnant. It’s that Reverend Teagarden’s baby. Said that he told her that the only way to get close to God was to show him her in the form of Adam and Eve. But now he’s saying that she’s delusional and that it’s not his.” 

Arvin’s temper flamed inside his chest. That explained the Reverend’s intense sermon about delusion this last Sunday. Nobody did this to his sister and got away with it. “I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking ki-” 

“Arvin please-” Lenora tried to calm him but it was a weak attempt, still trying to stay quiet so Grandma wouldn’t notice.

“No, I’ll end his life for what he did to you.” 

You watched your boyfriend reel around, hands holding onto his hat. He was livid, understandably so. 

Lenora wasn’t quite sure why she wanted to protect Preston Teagarden after what he’d done to her but she thinks it’s that she was more concerned for her brother. Besides, no matter what Teagarden had done, did he really deserve to die for it? 

“We don’t have to hurt him,” You spoke to your boyfriend, “If she wants, she can just have the baby and we’ll help raise it.” 

“But he said it’s not his and that I’ll just be considered some no-good whore. He said it’ll kill Grandma. I don’t want to kill Grandma.” She was almost crying again at the thought of their grandmother ending up six feet under because of the shame of having her as a granddaughter. 

“He said that?!” Arvin nearly yelled. 

“But what if he’s right?” Lenora thought out loud, “I couldn’t live with myself if I got rid of the baby but I can’t risk killing Grandma. Maybe it would be better if I were dead-” 

“No!” You and Arvin both said firmly in unison. You held her hand tight and Arvin knelt down again. 

He swiped his thumb comfortingly across the back of her hands, “Don’t you ever say that. We have both already lost too damn much to lose each other too, ya hear me?” 

Lenora nodded, tears falling down her cheeks when she closed her eyes. 

“Why can’t we just ruin him? You can have the baby and let everyone know what he did. Everyone will know that he’s the father and it’ll destroy his life.” Arvin suggested, all of the miserable ways this could end for the man twisting his heart in sadistic pleasure. 

You shook your head though, “No, they won’t. It’s different for girls in small towns like this. Doesn’t matter what happened, you’re still the dirty no good whore, even if you were raped. The man is treated like a victim for even having the inkling of an accusation brought up.” After a few minutes, you suggested, “Why don’t we run off. We’ll all go to a new town, somewhere where nobody knows none of us. We’ll tell ‘em that your husband died in the war, leaving you with the baby. I’ll go with. I’ll help you raise it.” 

She shook her head, “But what about Grandma and Uncle Earskell?” She did have a point. They were both getting on in age and would need more help than they already did. 

You all sat in silence for a few moments, brainstorming ideas of what to do. Eventually, Arvin looked at his sister, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

The three of you went back to the house for the rest of the night, knowing that everyone would be getting suspicious if you were out any longer. 

The three of you kept the secret quiet, barely even speaking about it to each other. You’d been doing as much research on babies in the libraries at school, which earned you quite a few disapproving looks from people who assumed that you and Arvin were expecting. You were serious when you said that you had every intention of helping Lenora and so was Arvin. 

Weeks had gone by with relatively no news. Well, that’s what the town thought at least. After finding out about what the Reverend had done to Lenora, Arvin had told you about his plan to watch him. 

The pair of you had spent several afternoons staked out near the church, watching as he went to the place of worship and then left at night. But then you started noticing a frequent visitor. Jeanette Reaster. The pair would drive off to a little secluded field and, sure enough, Teagarden would have his way with her. Though you couldn’t hear what was said, it was clear that they’d been praying beforehand before she submitted to him fully. Now, you knew Jeanette Reaster and, much like Lenora, she was the last person you’d imagine having premarital sex for the fear of being struck down by God. Whatever this man had said to them must have been real convincing. 

“Piece of shit…” Arvin leaned forward against the steering wheel of his car while you sat beside him. You both watched on as the Reverend laid the girl down and began his assault of falsely “holy” acts. 

For respect of Jeanette, you both looked away during the actual act but when you saw her ride off, Teagarden got out of his car, a bunch of fabric in his hands and sniffed them as he watched her. “That fucking perv. How does nobody know about this?” You asked, disgusted. Reaster was a good girl. She didn’t deserve this abuse. 

“We know about it.” Arvin said, putting the car in reverse, “And that’s enough.” Less than a week later, word got out that Jeanette Reaster had run off. Grandma had told Arvin and Lenora that her mother had said to her privately that Jeanette left a note saying that she was pregnant but the father refused to believe that he was the father. To spare her family the shame, she ran away and begged them to just say that they had no idea what had happened to her. That’s what her parents intended to do for their daughter’s sake but had entrusted Grandma with the secret just so they had somebody to talk to about it.

The day after she disappeared, they found her body on the side of the road just a few towns over. Nobody had any idea of what had happened except for you and Arvin. Both of you were convinced that Teagarden had murdered her to keep his secret from getting out. 

The anger that was held between you and Arvin both was unparalleled. In part, you both felt partially responsible for her death. If only you’d said something, maybe you could have saved her. But neither of you even knew she was pregnant. That monster did to her exactly what he had probably planned to do to Lenora. 

“We have to set things right.” Arvin said, sitting in his car one night with you in the woods, “That girl is dead and I can’t help but feel like it’s on me.” His head hung sadly, the weight of another death weighing on his heart. 

You shifted sideways in the seat, your jeans rubbing against the vinyl car seats. You placed a hand gingerly on his cheek, “This is not your fault. This is the evil of a wicked man.” 

“A girl is dead, Y/N. He got her pregnant and murdered her. He got Lenora pregnant and tried to convince her she was crazy. He’s taking advantage of innocent girls out here and then tying up the loose ends.” Arvin sat there, so much hurt behind his brown eyes. Then an idea dawned on him, “Do you trust me?” 

The question took you off guard and it showed but you answered honestly, “Yes.” 

** 

Perhaps being quieter in church was for the best for this particular scenario. You’d never been as religious as the rest of your family or the rest of the town, for that matter. But this morning, you found yourself on your knees by your bedside. “Lord, please forgive the things that I am about to do. Please understand that I do this with the best intentions of protecting every other girl to cross paths with Preston Teagarden and to avenge the death of Jeanette Reaster. I pray that you please forgive Arvin as well as I know he is a man with nothing but good and love in his heart. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.” 

Almost on cue, your mom knocked on the door to see you on your knees, “Arvin is out front waiting for you.” She announced with a warm smile, noticing your outfit, “You look nice, sweetie! Since when do you clean up all cute for that boy?” She teased, a loving smile on her face as you smoothed out your yellow dress that hung just below your knees. The sleeves were tight and went about halfway down your biceps. It was far from revealing with a neckline that stopped just below your collarbones but it still was tight enough to accentuate the shape of your concealed breasts. A brown belt was tied around your waist, showing off your figure. 

“Yeah, well I figured that for once I might as well dress up and do something nice.” The lie slipped out smoothly despite the racing of your heart in your chest. 

She pulled you in for a hug, “Well you tell Arvin that I want you back by nine tonight! I’ll be going over to Mrs. Hadderson’s for quilting today, just so you know, in case I’m not home when you get back.” 

You picked up your bag and pulled her into a side hug, “Alright, Mama. Love you!” You hollered, running out the door. Arvin was dressed normally, just his blue jeans and t-shirt, but he still looked great as always. 

When you slid into the passenger seat of his car, he perked up and looked over at you, “Not used to seeing you like this on any day but Sunday.” He attempted to joke but found it difficult considering what the two of you were planning on doing. 

After driving a ways down the road, he asked, “Are you sure you want to be a part of this? Because I can drop you off with Lenora and I’ll take care of this myself.” 

Looking over at him to see his eyes scanning your face for signs of hesitation, you placed your hand on his leg, “I’m not letting you do this alone.” 

Not too deep down, Arvin felt terrible for allowing you to partake in this. Death had always seemed to follow him wherever he went; he didn’t want you to be stuck with the same curse. The two of you developed a plan but Arvin had created a backup just in case you decided you didn’t want to partake, not that he would blame you. He was terrified beyond belief himself but he’d decided that for the sake of every other girl in this town and any other one’s Teagarden had harmed in the past, he had to do this. 

The only thing making him feel remotely at peace with your involvement was the fact that you weren’t actually doing the killing. You were the diversion, he was the trigger man. Arvin sighed, relenting to the fact that you were in on this, “Did you bring the rope?” He asked, eyes flicking over to you and your bag between glances at the road that moved beneath the wheels of his car. 

You dug around in your little bag and pulled out a small length of rope, a weapon chosen for the lack of clean up. “Got it. You got the gun?” 

Arvin pulled his denim jacket back just enough to show the handle of the Luger that once belonged to his father. This weapon was chosen for its reliability. Once you guys started, you had to finish otherwise he’d tell everyone. 

Before you knew it, the tires were coming to a crunching halt on the rocky sideturn just around the corner from the church. A sudden wave of nausea came over you and you had to breathe deeply to settle it down. “You okay?” Arvin asked, reaching out for you. 

You swallowed hard, “Yeah.” Sweat began to bead up on your brow as a million different images of what could happen in the next few minutes ran through your head. 

Arvin watched as you zoned out on the dashboard and he knew exactly what was going on in your mind. It was the same inner conflict he’d had this morning before picking you up, when he first pocketed the gun.  “Whatever happens today, I need you to know that I love you Y/N.” 

You sucked a quick breath in. Neither of you had ever used the L-word before. Arvin was scared to because he’d lost so many people and the fewer people he loved, that fewer people he could lose. You had just never loved anyone romantically before and were too terrified that maybe you’d say it too early or think you felt it when you really didn’t. With Arvin, though, you knew it. “I love you too, Arvin.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the lips deeply, wanting nothing more than to stay against his skin for the rest of your lives. But, unfortunately, there was something you had to do first. 

“Remember, just get him to bring you to the field. I will be there waiting. I won’t let anything happen to you, you hear?” Your faces were close together, so close your foreheads almost touched, as he went over the plan one last time, trying to make sure that you knew that you were safe as long as he was around. 

“I know.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile, though it was far from a grin of actual happiness.

Arvin watched as you got out of the car, leaving the small bundle of rope behind, and walked down the dirt driveway to the church. You looked just like someone that pervert would fall head over heels for. There was an innocent sway to your hips and the way you held your bag close to your body screamed insecurity, but the kind of a young girl who doesn’t know how beautiful she is. The funny thing was that this wasn’t something totally out of character for you. Sure, you had a mouth and fist that could dish as much as it could take, and yeah, you and Arvin had been together for almost half a year, but there was still a youthful innocence to you. There was still a brightness in your eyes and a pep in your step, one that hadn’t been beat down by the tragedies of life yet. It was one of the things that Arvin found most attractive about you but it was also one of the things that Preston Teagard would as well. 

The doors of the church were cracked open just slightly when you approached and you could see the Reverend sitting in the pews, reading his Bible, through the gap. Taking one less final deep breath, you pressed the door open and stepped in, the heels of your little white chucks padding against the hardwood. Teagard turned around at the sound, “Why, hello, there.” He greeted warmly. It disgusted you how this man could act no different after knowing what he’d just done but the worst monsters were human. 

“Uh, hi there, Reverend. I’m sorry to bother but I just needed to talk to you about something.” You began, accentuated your Appalachian drawl while trying to make your voice sound as young and innocent as you could. 

He patted the pew beside him, “Well, my child, you’ve come to the right place. That’s what I’m here for. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” 

Skin crawling as you walked, you forced your feet to move towards the man and sit beside him. Right away, his arm stretched behind your shoulders as he sat uncomfortably close. At first, you avoided eye contact, “Well, um, you see, I’ve been… straying from the light and I really want to get right with God.” 

This had to be the first truth you’d told anyone other than Arvin today. You felt too terrible lying in the presence of God so you’d found a way to genuinely get your feelings off your chest while still luring Teagarden into your trap. 

He rubbed his chin and hummed, “The fact that you acknowledge this means you haven’t strayed too far. God always comes back to his flock, even to those little sheepies who’ve gone astray. Why don’t you tell me more.” He urged. 

Your hands squeezed the strap of your bag tightly, “I… I have lustful thoughts sometimes.” 

Preston was lucky he’d had a lot of practice concealing his emotions because he’d be lying if he said that those words didn’t stir something in him, “Now are these just thoughts or have you acted on them?” 

“Oh, just thoughts, Reverend. I’ve never acted on any of them.” You reassured, finally meeting his eyes. They seemed to look at you with such understanding that you could see why Lenora and Jeanette had fallen for him. 

He nodded in approval, “And who are these thoughts about?” 

This was where you’d have to do a bit more lying, “I don’t really want to say.” You blushed bright red. You knew that Preston must have taken this as a sign that it was about him but it wasn’t. Your dirty thoughts never strayed from Arvin. 

Preston looked away and then back down at you, “You’re going with that Russel boy, right?” 

Silently, you nodded, not wanting to incriminate your boyfriend too much in this process of confession. 

“Has he ever touched you?” Preston pressed, his body getting closer to yours inch by inch until your legs were nearly touching. 

The red in your cheeks wasn’t part of the act anymore but genuine. You shook your head, “No, never.” You felt almost panicked at the question. 

“Have you ever touched yourself to these thoughts?” His voice became slower, more cautious as his inquiries got riskier and riskier. 

You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact with him anymore and looked back down at your shoes instead, just shaking your head, “No, I feel too weird. Like it’s a violation or somethin’.” 

Preston looked away, as if considering something, before turning back to you, “Can I show you some place? I find it helps me feel closer to God when I feel like I’m goin’ astray. Perhaps I could help.” 

Hook and sink. He’d fallen right into the trap. With a shy nod, you agreed sweetly, “Yeah, yeah, I’d like that. Is it far?” 

Teagard shook his head, “Oh no, not too far at all. But I’ll drive so we don’t have to walk.” 

Getting him to drive you to the spot was just as easy as you imagined it would be. With a quick glance in the rear view mirror, you noticed a car in the far distance behind you that you immediately recognized as Arvin following. Preston’s car came to a stop in the same field you’d seen him take Jeanette Reaster to a few weeks ago, facing the woods ahead. 

It really was quite peaceful and would have been a pretty sight if you weren’t with a sexual predator. Again, his arm slid around your shoulders and you breathed in deeply, the intense sexual tension making you uncomfortable even though you had every intention of finishing him off before he even got a hand up your skirt. 

“You said that Russel boy has never touched you. Have you ever shown him yourself?” The fact that this man had the nerve to ask you such questions disgusted you beyond belief but you kept up the facade. 

“Like naked?” You clarified, seeing him nod, “No, not naked. We went to the lake one time so he saw me in my bathing suit then but that’s not exactly the same thing.” 

Preston chuckled at your naivety, “No, no, not the same thing at all. You know how you’re supposed to save yourself for marriage to be right with the Lord. But there is nothing that brings you closer back to our heavenly father than to be as Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, the garden of pure paradise.” 

“How is that so?” You cranked up the childlike inquisitive nature as you looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

Preston had to fight the urge to take you here and now, looking at you like this, but he remained strong for the sake of the process. “They were made in his image. We all were but they were his original children. The pure, unaltered image of God himself, before the sin of man tainted it all. By showing yourself in your pure, unaltered image, you bring yourself closer to the light.” 

Your brows furrowed, “But didn’t you just say that premarital sex is a sin?” This may have been jeopardizing your mission but you felt inclined to point out the hypocrisy before you offed the man. 

He nodded, chest falling and rising with a heavy sigh, “It depends on who you’re with. I’m a man of God myself and I like to model myself after Jesus. I’d like to think that makes me an extension of His love and power and therefore an outlet for you to feel safe to do whatever you need to do in order to be right with Him.” 

With a shaky breath, you bit your lip, “Alright. H-how do I-?”

Preston watched as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt and let his mind wander to what else those fingers might be good at. “First, let us pray.” He reached over and held your hand, “Lord, Y/N is showing herself to you. See her Lord, as you made her. She presents herself to you. Give her strength. Amen.” 

“Amen.” You muttered after him, your fingers slowly going to unbutton your dress. This wasn’t how you’d imagined the first time a boy seeing you in your knickers going. In your mind, it had always been on a nice romantic evening with Arvin and a selfish part of you wanted it to stay that way but then you remembered why you were doing what you were doing and sucked down the reservations. At least you weren’t actually losing your virginity to the monster. 

Nervous fingers fuddled with the button for just a moment too long and Teagarden twisted sideways, hands coming to cover yours, “May I?” He offered his assistance. 

Your heart thumped so loud you could hear it but you nodded silently, letting your fingers fall onto your thighs. With deftly skilled fingers, he had your blouse unbuttoned before long and had pushed it off your shoulders. Your breath caught in your throat at this much exposure, your breasts just barely concealed under only the fabric of your bra. Lord, you prayed silently, please let this be over with quickly. 

Your eyes slid closed, trying to imagine that it was Arvin touching you instead of Preston Teagarden but then the mere thought of comparing the two made you sick to your stomach. They were nothing alike. 

A set of chapped lips kissed your forehead gently, then your cheek, and then, finally, your lips. At first, you drew back, but still kept your eyes closed, trying to mask the disgust with untouched hesitance. You forced your body to relax again and Preston took that as a cue to continue with what he was doing, his lips returning to yours. 

Wasting no time, he’d crawled over you until your back was flush against the seat. You placed your hands awkwardly and haphazardly on Preston’s shoulder’s, trying to feign inexperienced confusion. You and Arvin may not have ever gone all the way, but you’d at least gone this far. 

Preston’s lips moved down your neck and your breath got caught in your throat. As much as you hated it, he knew what he was doing. This man knew all the right buttons to push to make a nervous girl submit to his every desire and, though you were well aware of the game he was playing and had zero attraction to him, the physical reactions were almost impossible to stop. Your body shuddered when his stubble, something Arvin lacked, scratched the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes were open wide now, just waiting for your boyfriend to finally show up and save you from this situation. 

Arvin approached the car and slowly and quietly as he could. The windows were up so it wasn’t too big an issue as long as he wasn’t clanging metal but he figured he didn’t want to take any chances. When approached the driver’s window, his heart wrenched and he immediately regretted putting you in this position. 

Preston was on top of you, his hands roaming all around your semi-exposed chest. He knew that you’d never been exposed like that to anyone before and he suddenly felt sick with himself for allowing the first time to be with anyone beside him, let alone Preston fucking Teagard. 

He expected to have to psych himself up for the actual kill, to have to convince himself to do it but when you locked eyes with him, a silent plea to get the man off of you, it came unnervingly natural. With the rope already wrapped around both of his fists, Arvin reached for the handle and threw the door open, looping the rope around Preston’s neck and dragging him back out of the car. Preston’s eyes were wide with shock and fear, “What the fuck?!” He hollered in fear, the words turning to gagging and choking. His hands grasped at the rope but Arvin had it pulled too tightly. 

Preston’s body was kicking against the grass but his neck and head were pressed against Arvin’s chest, who was kneeling in the field. 

“You really thought you could get away with what you did to my Lenora? To that poor Reaster girl you murdered? And then I bet you were willing to do the same to her over there too, huh?” He seethed, notioning over to you with a flick of his chin. 

The reverend tried to say something, anything to defend himself or get himself out of this situation but Arvin never let up so the words came out as disgustingly graphic chokes. You crawled out of the car, not knowing what you could do to help or secure the situation but feeling useless now. 

In a few minutes time, his lips had turned blue and the thrashing of his body had stopped. Arvin finally let up and the body slump into the grass. He crawled back and away from the man who had only moments ago been all over you, touching you. 

That was when he remembered that you were there still. He’d gotten so blinded by rage that he almost blacked out, caught up in the task at hand. But when he looked up, his heart began to beat again and he stood up, rushing to you, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

Your face was pale and blank, almost as if you were in shock. Your top was still totally unbuttoned, white modest bra still exposed to the world but you didn’t look like you cared at all. If Arvin was being honest, this wasn’t how he’d pictured seeing you topless for the first time going. He always hoped it would be romantic and with more than enough time to compliment every inch of your perfect body. Instead, you looked scared and shocked and almost like you could be sick. 

“Y/N?” He urged, coming stand between you and Preston’s body, attempting to break your view of it. He reached down and began to re-button your blouse for you. 

“I’m fine,” You said flatly, only moving to look up at him, “Are you okay?” 

With a glance down at his knuckles, the rope burn was clear to see, but Arvin had been through much worse, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry that I let him do that. This whole idea was stupid and now-” 

“No,” You interrupted, finally snapping out of your shocked state and bringing your hands up to rest on his, which were on your chest now, “He can’t hurt anyone anymore.” 

Arvin didn’t actually feel remorse for killing the man. The only thing he wanted was to take you back home, or rather far away, where there weren’t any reminders of today’s events. He wanted to show you how special you were, how much he loved you, and how brave he thought you were for being willing to be Teagarden’s last victim for the better good of the world. 

[prometheus2007]

@sea-dwelling-wizard OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAA IM SHAKING FROM HAPPINESS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE LORE! Dude writing a book about them would be so cool, or at least some short stories. I plan to write some little bits here and there and post them here! :3 if I get time I might write one today!

Now that I think about it, Promni totally gets hand cramps, she writes and works so much I can’t see her NOT getting them. She’s such a tired old lady lmao the long term goal is to make sure she steps away from her job to a bit and relaxes and finds replacements but since I roleplay these characters with my friends who knows how the lore will turn out?

HEHEHEHEHE SOMEWHAT IS SO AWFUL. I’m dying to roleplay as her but it’s hard since if she leaves the Nonexistent Void she’ll get some of her powers back and the first thing she would do is kill Promni and no body wnats that. I’m developing a way others could talk to her with little to no risk ( @kart-ana 👀✨) which I may try out soon! I’ll let you know if I do!

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME LATE AT NIGHT WHEN I FIRST STARTED DEVELOPING SOMEWHAT AND GALACTIC. I WAS LIKE A MAD GENUIS XD. Galactic is such a comfort to me, I feel for her when she’s undermined and she just needs the biggest hug. It’s funny, in some ways she’s the most mature out of everybody. She’s a lot more talented than most people give her credit for, and some everyone else is gonna see how awesome she is I have faith in her.

ALFRED FUCKING SUCKS. I HATE HIM. HES SUCH A CREEP… YOU KNOW HOW HES OBSESSED WITH PROMETHEUS? YEAH. What I DIDNT tell you was that he’s been watching Prometheus since he was eight.

you may have noticed the similarities of names between Promni and Prometheus. That’s on purpose. Even their outfits look similar. Their pride issues are the same too they both swear to god they don’t need any help. Promni created Prometheus and trauma dumped tf on him. So like Alfred being super obsessed over Prometheus and then stalking PROMNI all the time paints a darker light to his intentions and opens up a lot of possibilities that I don’t wanna dive into 😭

Ignore their height difference they’re supposed to be only inches apart from one another. SEE THE SIMILARITIES???? Promni is left Prometheus is right.

Elpis is so complicated and he’s such an awful person but it’s more so that he’s pathetic and not downright awful. He has his own reasons for everything, while trying to be overly professional he loses his professionalism due to it being swallowed by his overinflated ego. He truly believes what he’s doing is what’s best for himself and Promni. He’s delusional, which is unlike Alfred and Somewhat who know what they’re doing is awful and gross and do it anyway. Elpis thinks he’s better than them… he’s not. IF YOU WANT MORE RANTS OF ANY OF THEM LET ME KNOW!!!

new mutual spotted 👀 👀

just wanted to say your ocs are so pretty!!! <333 the outfits are so creative and i love how cute they look!!! i used gacha a handful of times and it's pretty difficult to get my thoughts on the app but i feel like you've mastered it omg

do you have any oc lore you wanna share? i would love to read it!!!

Hi there!!! Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Gacha is very difficult to use sometimes, and I definitely haven’t mastered it, it’s a LOT to get used to, especially GL2. But again, thank you so much, that’s really kind of you <3 you’re amazing!!

WHEN DONT I HAVE OC LORE IS THE QUESTION… I really can’t say it all on a single post nor can I get my thoughts down at this time. The OCS regarding this page though are Promni and Galactic, they’re Omniversal Creators of their omniverse. Most lore I post revolves around them and other creators and the few OCS they interact with. I’m gonna explain every Creator now a little bit!

Firstly, for those who don’t know, a Creator is like a Sona of sorts, one that is made to represent you fully or partly, they often look a bit like you irl or once did. They often run the worlds you make behind the scenes. Despite being partly like you, they are also their own characters and don’t have to act exactly like you if you don’t want them to! I will also be explaining Demi-Creators, which are ocd made into Creators by the real Creators. Pretty sure I made up that term but the idea is often used. I am going to put Promni first AND last, she gets two sections of info as she is the MAIN oc I use on this blog. But I will also be explaining bits more of her lore in other people’s sections.

Promni is first now as it makes the most sense to me to put her first. She’s the first Creator out of everyone. She does not know how she became one. She’s an adult (I would say around 19-26, I have no set age for most of my Creators), but you would swear to the stars she acts like an old lady because she is cranky and tired. She’s had to put with people’s shit for way too long, as the omniversal has been around for over 600 trillion years.

Somewhat is next, I’m doing these in order of when they became Creators. Somewhat was created accidentally by Promni, due to Promni stuffing down her insecurities and everything that made her upset inside. Bottling things up caused her to create another version of herself, that she CANNOT fully get rid of. Somewhat is an awful person. Imagine in your head the most awful traits a person could have. Somewhat either has those or fully supports those traits. As time has gone on she has made Promni’s life freaking miserable, Promni is terrified of her and has only recently gotten rid of her. Her soul was wiped of power and sent to what I call the Nonexistent Void, which I will explain more about later. Somewhat is extremely abusive in almost every way possible. Btw Somewhat is around 27-33 years old.

Galactic was next, she was created accidentally by Promni as well, due to Somewhat wanting her to bottle every positive and happy trait Promni had because it was “unlikable and waste of time”. You cannot fully get rid of Galactic either, just like Somewhat. Both Somewhat and Galactic are extensions/version of Promni, and since Promni cannot fully be killed, neither can they. Galactic was created at first as a six year old, she’s the only Creator that has aged. She represents the inner child of Promni, she’s very sweet and silly. She is now 16 years old, she ages randomly, the more hardship she goes through and the more she matures, the more she ages. I feel so bad for Galactic, she is often ignored by everyone else because everyone is so focused on work and her efforts are either overlooked or everyone hates on them, in one way or another. For a ping turn was banned from the omniverse in most ways, each Creator having their own reasons to do so. I will post about this eventually!

We are moving on to Demi-Creators. First off is Alfred. Oh Alfred. I hate this man. I’ll explain his deeper lore later in time but he’s a demon who was the ruler of his universe before he had HIS ENTIRE MULTIVERSE turned into a black hole for power reasons and so he could reach to full omniverse and control it. Since he is an oc, there’s a version of him for every universe, but he was the worst one of all. The only one to complete the goal he has, which was to explore the depths of the omniverse. This is Somewhat’s best friend, naturally. He makes things worse for everyone and has a habit of stalking Promni which has made her very paranoid. He’s like 45 too. Very weird guy. He has an obsession over his universe’s version of a guy named Prometheus, who’s 20 years younger than him and is forced to work for him, even when he died and he was just fragments of a soul. Gross guy. He was obliterated to nothing but a consciousness because of @kart-ana ‘s OCS say thank you so him :3

Elpis is last. He is made up of every version of himself that was casted to the Nonexistent Void. The Nonexistent Void is a place where souls of immortal characters are sent if someone doesn’t want them to come back to life. So Demi-Creator Elpis is a fusion of all of the versions of him that are dead Whihc is lost of them lol. He is enemies with Alfred, every version of him hates Alfred. He also cannot stand Galactic, finds her too annoying and too silly. He is friends with Promni as has helped her plan to kill Alfred and Somewhat. But he’s not a good guy. He enables Promni’s worst traits and worst habits, believing that is what’s best for her because that’s when she focuses on work and her own omniverse the most( rather than her own mental and physical health. He uses his power to alter her emotions and stress levels so that she acts more professional (something Promni has asked for, but it’s bad for her. She asked him to stop doing this. Ask yourself if you think he did so), even using his own powers to make some sort of drink she takes because it was easier for her to take. He will do anything for his work, to be able to control what he can. He also never shuts the fuck up he’s a yapper in a bad way. He believes that they don’t need anyone to help them and that him and Promni are better off alone and with no help. When that isn’t the best thing at all. He’s too stubborn to change his ways. Deep down he’s really desperate to do what he can to make sure all versions of Alfred are eradicated. There’s so much more I wanna say about Elpis but I can’t spoil too much for @kart-ana and @mynameis---m …

Back to Promni. You can see she’s had a lot to deal with. She killed Somewhat by herself, don’t think Elpis helped her with that part. And she coordinated Alfred dying, Elpis didn’t help with the final preparations he just fucking hid like the coward he is. Anyways back to Promni sorry. She has to do 95 percent of the work at least, and overall has trouble communicating her wants and needs because she believes she’s burdening people with this information. She has nearly no friends because Somewhat would control mostly where she goes and who she talks to, and anyone that does know her outside of Galactic and Elpis don’t know that much about her situation. About the situation? Yeah. About how BAD it was? No. She is stuck in a cycle of not changing and pushing herself to her limits unless someone drags her out of her one way or another, because she can’t trust anyone else to do her job (other than Elpis… she shouldn’t trust him :(.) and believes only she can do this right. As you can see she has a big ego. She admits her faults over and over but doesn’t know how to stop this toxic cycles. On a lighter note, she is married to the creator of @mynameis---m has and they’re so cute together AAAAAAAA!

so yeah those are the main OCS on this blog how do you feel :3 DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASEEEE ASK QUESTIONS PLEASE AAAAA

[uwurakax]

another day ♡

pairing: oikawa x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // exes // mutual pining ♡

summary: after the constant fighting and bubbling insecurities, you and oikawa both decide that breaking up is probably for the best. too bad that it wasn’t what either if you had wanted ♡

♡ read part one ‘save your tears’ here ♡

word count: 2k ♡

author’s note: super tired, i should be packing but im not lol, 4am gang ayyy. as always not proofread because i cannot stomach the idea of rereading what i wrote. this was what originally ‘save your tears’ was going to be, but part one got too long so haha. spoils of part one, so if you haven’t read it go ahead, or don’t lolol it could be read alone ig hurr hurr ♡

♡ (inspired by save your tears - the weeknd/ariana grande) ♡

At one point in time, you would’ve enjoyed an atmosphere like this; the blaring lights, pounding music, and even the heat radiating off warm bodies in a cramped space. It was much more enjoyable when you had the familiar, comforting presence of him.

Yes him: Oikawa Tōru. Also known as the the guy who broke your heart less than two months ago. You hadn’t seen him since the week after, finally being able to pick up everything and go. It was scary how silent it was between you two. The unit the both of you had made a home, your first home with him, just a little more barren. Just a little more bare.

Just a little more empty.

Once homely rooms were now plain. To anyone else, it could be called minimalistic or modern. Sleek if you were to exaggerate it. To the both of you however, it was just stone cold. A lifeless corpse. One poor imitation of what it once was.

And seeing it like this was almost enough to have your heart break for a second time. It was a physical representation of your relationship. The feelings of warmth, comfort, admiration, any and every word any literary body could ever akin to love was once found here. It was sad to see it gone, almost like it was never there. However if you looked past the surface you’d see all the small details of things that once occupied the room. The once full drawers now easily fitting clothes with plenty of room to spare. A countertop with products only to one half of the sink. The minuscule dust imprints left behind on the shelves that once housed your books.

The lingering smell of your perfume that was once so prominent.

You couldn’t tell, but Oikawa could. In the week you were gone, it slowly started to fade. The first night Oikawa was drowning in it. It clung to, what once was, your pillow and on the blanket. Choking and suffocating him with the sweet smell. He couldn’t bear to see the bed without you in it, and hated the God awful smell. Opening the window and facing away, he had a dreamless sleep that night.

And as the week passed, so did the scent of you.

He couldn’t explain why, but the moment he opened the door, his body felt at ease. His eyes blessed, even if you had those dark circles and slightly red eyes with unkempt hair. It was as if it was instinct to feel relief at being near you.

It was the longest few hours of Oikawa’s life that day, and somehow it was still just too short. Helping you gather your things, putting them into boxes and loading them into a tiny hired truck until eventually there was nothing left.

You were gone from the apartment, and now Oikawa’s life.

It was awkward the second time, saying goodbye. The finality of it all dawning on the both of you. You at least had this excuse to see each other once more. After this, there was nothing. No more reasons to come back, to call, message or even see each other again.

This was officially the last time you’d ever get to see Oikawa Tōru.

You’d both stood there for a few moments, only the wind against leaves and the occasional car offering any sort of background noise. Neither of you wanting or willing for this moment to end. Despite it all, it wasn’t hard to see that you both yearned for each other. Just how cruel it was that you couldn’t see it.

Oikawa kept your pillow close that night. The smell of you was so faint, he was sure that it wouldn’t be too long before it completely faded. As he held the plush item near his chest he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life he could’ve had with you if he wasn’t so prideful? All the fantasies and white picket fences surged in his mind, and so he finally drifted off to sleep, thinking of you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Here”

You turned to see your best friend handing you a glass of, well you weren’t sure exactly but anything to dull your senses at this point was okay in your book. Yes, almost two months since your breakup and you were still so torn. It was what he wanted right? Your lives are better this way. You’re sure his is. He wouldn’t have to hear you “nag” as he so put it, and you didn’t have to feel the exhaustion resulting because of it.

It was better this way. You knew it. Oikawa knew it. Your friends and family knew it. Heck even the old ladies down the damn street knew it.

So why did it feel so shitty.

You downed the drink quickly, not wanting to go through the spiral of emotions you were sure you were going to experience. You’d deal with the pain and hangover tomorrow like the adult you were. For now you just wanted to dance till your feet hurt, and then drink until they stopped hurting. A quick descent into self destruction that you’re sure you’d regret.

Or maybe you wouldn’t.

The moment you turned your head to get back to the dance floor you locked eyed with him.

For a moment you stopped breathing. The music faded out quickly and the patrons of the club disappeared. Suddenly it was just you and him.

He looked good this time around, nothing like the last time you saw him. His perfectly fluffed and styled hair that was just so effortlessly Oikawa had become messy bed head. His bright chocolate eyes that twinkled just a little with mischief when he smirked had become sunken. His whole demeanour had completely drooped into a depressive state. It hurt to see.

He wasn’t like that now. He looked like how he had been before. No longer were the remnants of a heartbroken man. Oikawa Tōru had gone back to his charming self once again.

A cute girl with silky, long black hair approached him and just as quick as they went, everything came flooding back; the music, people and you found yourself being able to breathe again.

She touched his arm and laughed. The look in her eyes filled with the glimmer coyness. Her body language oozed with flirty persona. It was all too familial.

You should’ve guessed that he’d date again. It wasn’t like he couldn’t. The moment you both severed the relationship he had every right to do what he wanted. You did too. Sure you were seeing someone, but it wasn’t like that.

All too, touchy-feely.

It hurt to see, you weren’t going to lie. Seeing the way he touched her, held her, danced with her. For a good portion of the night you saw it. Seeing him be with her, the way he used to with you. No longer being the main character in his story; you were in the audience, watching.

You didn’t want to stay until the ending.

Without a word, you briskly brushed passed sweaty bodies, being bumped a few times before you finally made it to the door and opened it.

You walked a couple paces to the middle of the footpath, deeply inhaling the fresh air. It wasn’t suffocating anymore. You fumbled with your purse, reaching inside to pull out your phone. With the glow of neon lights emanating behind you, you saw a stray tear on the blackness of your screen.

Fuck, when did that happen?

You wiped it with the palm of your hand, and went to unlock your phone. As you prepared to send a text you heard the call of your voice.

“Tōr-Oikawa?”

He mentally winced at this, the formal tone of using his surname struck something inside. He didn’t like it, not at all. It wasn’t right, it felt strange.

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here? You followed me”

“Right... I guess I just wanted to see how you were, that’s all” he looked away, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You softened at this. It just took you back to why you fell for him in the first place. The little things like this, that made you feel cared for and loved. Perhaps for a few minutes you could be delusional and pretend that Oikawa still cared for you.

“I’m fine, what about you? How is everything going?” Yikes. You cringed at how awkward you were being. You supposed that that’s how it was, not exactly friends and not complete strangers either.

“Yeah fine too...” he trailed off, and just like that you were brought back to that time before you left. Before the official goodbye. Not ready to end things just yet, but neither knowing what more to say.

Just for a little while, let me remember every trace, curve and detail.

You didn’t know what came over you, but soon enough you found yourself drawing closer to Oikawa. He looked at you with half lidded eyes, not daring to move a step, almost afraid if he did it would ruin this moment with you. Yes, it was selfish but...

You lifted your hand to cup his cheek, just like a memory from before. Using the pad of your thumb, you gently brushed over the soft skin. Ever so delicately, you traced down his jaw. The intimacy of your movements crossed a boundary between you. You knew it and he did too. You’d let yourselves be greedy though.

Oikawa raised his own hands to touch your face, perfectly ingraining it into his mind and body. His fingers slowly going over your features. He wouldn’t allow himself to forget any part of you.

It wasn’t long until you both wanted to overstep more.

The longing between you too great to try and stop. Eventually you both moved closer, faces and soul alike reaching for the other. Just a bit closer.

“Y/N?”

“Oikawa?”

You both frantically pulled away, heart racing now.

���Kageyama..”

“Tobio”

Oikawa tried to hide the venom in his voice, he really did, but when he saw Kageyama make his way beside you he couldn’t help but see red.

It didn’t seem like life was playing a very fair game.

“Oikawa are you alright?” He looked down at the petite girl beside him, now clinging to his arm. He threw on one of his brilliant smiles and told her it was okay.

“Are you cold? Here” Oikawa couldn’t keep up that smile for too long, not when he saw him putting his jacket around you. How you snuggled into the warmth. How it showed Oikawa that you were no longer his, and that you now found solace in another.

He couldn’t blame you, he knew that deep inside. He did the same, why shouldn’t you? It didn’t stop the burning hatred and envy he felt. The overwhelming sadness that enveloped him. All a heavy dump of emotions thrown on him within a few seconds.

You felt it too though. That girl hanging off his arm. Getting to parade around that Oikawa was hers. It was totally unreasonable to feel this way. You both ended things. It was mutual right? You would’ve told him and he would’ve told you if this breakup was a mistake right?

Right?

“Wanna go?” Kageyama whispered in your ear. You nodded.

“It was nice seeing you again T-Oikawa” you smiled sadly.

“You too Y/N...bye” you both turned away, walking in opposite directions. With every step, your heartache grew just a little more. Almost like your body needed to be near his, the memories it held being more truthful than your head could ever be.

Your heart, body and soul wanted Oikawa.

Your mind told you to let him go for his sake.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Hey Oikawa?”

“Yes Kageyama?”

“Hmm?”

“He was your ex right? Oikawa?”

“That girl back there, is she her? The ex?

“Yeah he was”

“Yeah, she was”

“Do you still love him?”

“Do you still love her?”

There was a pause and you both stopped, mulling the question over.

Did you still love each other? It wasn’t hard to tell, everyone knew the answer. Ask any stranger but...

“No”

..

...

..

You both lied.