#yeah well fuck you and fuck your lack of respect for informed consent and the rights of bodily autonomy for youth

[crimson--freak]

Apparently the NHS isn’t going to prescribe puberty blockers to trans children anymore unless under “exceptional circumstances” or as part of a trial.

Go figure :/

[trans-axolotl]

I think the reason psychosis is always viewed as a crisis by non-schizo effected people is cause neurotypical people are always told and believe that an episode of psychosis is the most terrifying thing that could happen. Like at least from my experience, descriptions, talks, and depictions of psychosis is AS something that's deathly scary to not know (and assumably never again know) what's real and what isn't, some depictions showing any episodes as worse than death. Like obviously that's not true but it stays with people; the telling of "it's the worst thing that could ever happen everytime" and definitely made the first few times I dealt with psychosis and hallucinations a lot worse and a lot scarier

yeah! so much of the messaging around psychosis and schizophrenia is so fucking dangerous because of the way it continually reinforces these ideas that psychosis is always terrifying, life-ending, and the worst case scenario. like that can have materially dangerous impacts on the lives of people living with psychosis/altered states. i think that kind of stigmatizing messaging about psychosis really demobilizes people in our communities and convinces people that they don't have the capability to support their loved ones with psychosis, and instead creates this idea that "professionals" are the only ones who could ever actually support someone through psychosis. and that leads to so much more forced institutionalization, pathologization, violence towards people experiencing psychosis, and just really a lack of the kind of proactive community support that could actually help prevent some kinds of crisis and distress.

i think it also makes it really hard for us, when we start experiencing psychosis/altered states for the first time, because there's really no framework for us to understand and cope with our experiences beyond just "this is the worst thing ever and there's no options for me." i think it creates a lot of forced shame and secrecy, as well as pushing a lot of us into more intense crisis because we have nowhere to go to get support. and like, when you google this half the shit that comes up tells you to call 911 immediately, and when you're someone who can't do that because it's dangerous for you, you're just left with no fucking options or getting pushed into treatment options that don't respect your autonomy.

i wish there was a lot more recognition that psychosis/altered states are something that can happen to anyone, and actually do happen to a lot more people to varying degrees and in different contexts. that psychosis is something that it is possible to live fulfilling and meaningful lives with. that you don't need to be an expert to support someone living with psychosis/altered states. and that there is so many ways of living with psychosis, and that antipsychotics and therapy are not the only options, and should never be a forced option. i also have so many thoughts about how desperately we need informed consent for antipsychotic medications and how fucking mad i am about the amount of information that is withheld from psychotic people about the side effects of our meds, the withdrawal experience, dosages, other options, etc etc etc.

anyway i just really recommend that everyone, whether you're someone who experiences psychosis/altered states or not, learns more about psychosis and do the work to challenge all these internalized myths we learn from society and the psych system. i highly recommend checking out the hearing voices network, and also really recommend Project LETS anticarceral altered states training to learn more ways to help support yourself and your loved ones.

thanks for this ask, i really agree with what you're saying!

[northwest-cryptid]

(sending it as an ask because I'm not sure if it was okay to reply to the post about kink directly since it was tagged personal, so you can choose to ignore it)

There's a lot of… equating discomfort with danger when it comes to this taboo. "It makes me upset, therefore it's bad" I'm not a kinky person, and there's a wide number of kinks that make me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, those engaging in them are responsible for their own safety and don't hurt anyone else. I can just choose not to get in their business and go about my day. And it's also true that not being informed about kink and how to navigate them can lead to accidents (or, in some cases, bad actors taking advantage of more naive individuals). It's in this weird state where, after coming to terms with having a kink and living with it, you have to find people and a space where you can learn about safety, but it's not socially acceptable so that search is on your own. From what i've seen, there's a ton of emphasis on safety and consent, and the weird toxic dynamics have been from people who want the spice of kink but "ew not like them" so they never learn to do it safely. They never engage with a community. Though, well, I assume with the internet it should be easier to find that information...? hard to say.

Anyways yeah society is weird about physiological stuff sometimes, specially about sex.

You are absolutely fine to comment on my stuff, friendo!

And yea I absolutely agree with this! I think a big thing with all this as well is honestly just a matter of also like, "there's a time and place for everything but it doesn't have to be all the time and anywhere" it's something I often tell people when kink topics do come up. As far as I see it, discussion of such things being a huge social taboo does lead to a general lack of sexual knowledge and that can lead to potential harm. However, I also feel like the comfort of everyone (not just those who we may deem victims but yes, literally everyone) needs to be taken into account. As you said you're generally uncomfortable with such topics I wouldn't wish to openly or publicly speak on such matters in a group where someone such as yourself may be made genuinely uncomfortable with such discussion. Especially considering that we don't know the reasons for such feelings and could easily end up accidentally triggering a trauma response. I remember an old friend specifically going off about his enjoyment of rather extreme bdsm and as an abuse survivor who was literally stabbed for "misbehaving" you can likely understand that discussion of knives and bloodplay are REALLY not the sort of things I feel comfortable discussing. Unfortunately given the general acceptance of "hoho it is so hot if a girl could kick my ass" as a sort of kink, those sorts of things are often discussed openly around me and any potential protest from me is often ignored outright.

I was once told there was a fine line between understanding someone's boundaries and respecting them, and just being shut down for discussion of "taboo topics" which to be honest I disagree with, I think that line is pretty fucking thick, like thicc with two Cs and a Q. Because someone actually feeling uncomfortable due to personal history, emotional connections with things, or trauma and some pearl clutching Karen are two EXTREMELY different things and I do personally believe that if we are to move forward and accept sex topics as something not entirely disgusting and taboo we need to understand and respect the boundaries that others may set for themselves that come with that.

I do really appreciate the additional commentary on this, it's always nice to hear other's perspectives on this topic since I otherwise cannot learn where I may be wrong. Plus you're cool so like, you know it's always nice to hear from you

[askthefivefallen]

You're up first.

Are you going to make me answer all of them aloud?

No.

Well, that's reassuring, at least. Shamira drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yes. Consent is the ability to choose whether to partake or abstain from a given activity."

The moment the words leave her mouth, she can feel Ass reaching forward and she steps back.

A: *in the blink of an eye, Ass is in control again and she smirks.* "Two reasons: one being that you in jeans drives me a little crazy and the second being I wanted to fuck with Shamira for lying to both of us." *she shrugs, feigning nonchalance even as a bit of worry began nipping at her heart* "Two birds, one stone, and I thought it'd be funny."

A: *the lack of a response from Emily worries her, and she knows this whole situation is weird anyway, but she steps back so Shamira can have her turn*

"I could feel, hear, and see everything. I had told Ass initially that I couldn't grant her privacy but, after feeling how much she was hurting while trying to be mindful of me, I lied and told her I could sleep. The truth is, I can't- at least, not a sleep the way other creations can. I can doze but I'm still alert and aware of my surroundings."

A: *she frowns* "Yeah, that was a dick move, Shamira." *she sighs, then reads the next question* "Oh, wait, she answered it for me- yeah, I didn't know, Em. She said she was going to sleep and I believed her. I... didn't think she would lie to me."

"In my defense-"

A: "Nuh uh, we answer the questions, and it's your turn, dumbass."

Shamira sighs. "Unfortunately, I don't have much of an answer. Boundaries are informed by personal experience and I have very little; most of my experience is secondhand from sifting through Ass' memories. I suppose my boundaries are her boundaries."

A: "That's such a cop out answer."

"I am not criticizing your answers."

A: "I- okay, I did do shit wrong, but at least I'm honest about it!"

"You lied about the drawer!"

A: "I gave you the vague impression something important was there and reminding my girlfriend that she looks sexy in jeans is, in my opinion, very important!" *she crosses her arms over her chest and winces at the sound the armor makes* "Fuck, I hate this shit." *she looks back at the board*

A: "Uh... if I'm... being honest... all of it."

"What?"

A: "Look." *she presses her lips into a thin line* "I know neither of you are happy about it but... there was a considerable amount of time there where I didn't think I'd be able to survive. My only goal was making sure Emily was taken care of- loved and treated with respect, like she deserves. I was begging you to take my place, Shamira, because I just wanted Emily to be happy in some capacity- and I get it!" *she raises a finger to stop Emily from laying into her* "Not the right answer! Message received, loud and fucking clear! But in the moment, when it looked like my time was running short, I made peace with the idea of Shamira being with you, Emily. Just because I'm a fucking badass doesn't mean I've changed my mind."

Shamira takes a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose and exhale forcefully. "Sometimes, I am very viscerally reminded of how thoroughly you embraced your name."

A: "Once again! I'm fucking honest!"

"I do suppose I'm not much better... as Ass mentioned, she did request I take care of you, Emily, and I did accept that. You clearly had a very turbulent past few days and needed to rest just as much as Ass did. My armor is heavy and I didn't want to cause you discomfort; leaving the bed and not waking you could've caused you to panic upon waking alone; waking you up when you clearly needed rest seemed selfish." She shrugs. "I made what I thought was the best decision at the time."

A: "To be fair, Em, in her position, I also wouldn't move a fucking muscle to let you sleep." *her eyes narrow at the next question directed at her* "You're gonna need to clarify that one, babe. I'm not sure what you mean by being 'unkind' to myself. Unless you're talking about me bitching out Shamira because, hey, this is a teaching moment, and I'm gonna beat it into her head do not fucking lie."

A: "As for what I want... you already know, Em." *she clears her throat* "Shamira mentioned earlier that... well, not all my thoughts for the future are realistic. That's true. I want to fall asleep cuddled up together and wake up begging for five more minutes 'cause I'm not done holding you. Spicy waffles and little boat rides. I want to go on adventures, find the furthest reaches of Heaven and every corner of Hell, and laugh and tease each other over every little thing. I want to be at your side or a call away if you need me. I want to spend every day of the rest of my existence madly in love with you."

A: *she waits for Shamira to step forward and then frowns* "Shamira, c'mon, fucker, it's your turn." * she receives no response but, despite Shamira's attempts to suppress it, she feels the other's fear* "... okay, yeah, I get that. Hell, I felt the same way at one point. But... Emily deserves the truth, right?"

Shamira reluctantly steps forward, looks at Emily, and then closes her eyes and turns her face away slightly. "I want you to look at me the way you look at Ass."

She's thankful, then, that Ass doesn't interject with a tasteless comment.

"And I've not said as much because I know I have no right. You don't love me, Emily, you love Ass, and though we share the same body, we are not the same person. I have been nothing but a hinderance to you- I was the barrier between you and Ass, I wasn't able to free her, and now I'm still shackling her, keeping the two of you apart- this is exactly what I feared would happen, I found ways to rationalize-"

A: *while Shamira holds more control in a general sense, Ass summons the strength to overtake her, gently pulling her back* "Stop. I've been in Hell long enough, Shamira; you fucked up but you're not a monster. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes they're small and sometimes they're big. Just- just chill for a second, okay?"

A: *her expression pinches together and she looks up* "We're both sorry, Emily. In a lotta ways, we're both Heaven's broken toys, trying to figure out how to piece ourselves together- but nothing prepares a person for this. We both got shoved into this body together; we're trying to make it work. We're trying to be there for you. And maybe we're not doing the best job. We have a lot to learn." *she spreads her hands* "We fucked up. Tell us how you want us to make it right."

"Please."

There is a peace and tranquility to the early morning. Usually, there’s no motion whatsoever, but here and now, there is the gentle sound and motion of Emily’s breathing. In the dim morning light, Emily looks so very gentle, and soft, and peaceful, but there’s a small pinch to her brow that speaks of ill thoughts. She moves her hand, lightly drawing fingertips across Emily’s brow, carefully pushing her hair back.

Emily deserves rest but she’s had more than enough. She contents herself with watching, standing vigil as usual.

((@askthefivefallen))

"Well, it doesn't matter~. She won't have such a vulgar name after what will be done to her~. Consider it... an upgrade". Adina’s eyes were filled with glee even as tears soaked down her cheeks. Emily saw red.

Shamira shook her head as Emily begged, pleaded, fought and cried for Ass. She meant no malice, it even seemed like she would have given her back had she the option. It didn’t matter. Emily saw red.

“I didn't want her to hurt you, Emily. The last thing I want is for someone to take advantage of you and break your heart.” Sera’s face was smiling. Emily saw red.

The vision changed again and she was sitting in front of the high council, only a few years after her creation. She was groomed by the high seraphim, the will of heaven herself. She was meant for greatness, a position on the court, Lucifer’s position. It was why the divine had sent her here, she was told. To fix what he had broken. To repair what he had ripped apart. To bring order to the chaos that heaven had become. Perhaps to even take part in the divine act of creation itself. She’d spent her entire life thus far under rigorous testing, constant trials, going from lesson to lesson with very minimal breaks in between.

But Sera was good, Sera was kind. She held her hands in hers and told her that she was proud of her and knew that one day she would be a fully fledged Seraphim. One day she would honor all of heaven.

But the court didn’t agree. Sera argued that despite her naivety, thoughtlessness, impulsivity and her inability to keep her emotions in check, she would make an excellent addition to the court. A fresh perspective from the divine themselves. The court still ruled against Sera and Emily, stating that she was unqualified to set an example of a true seraphim.

One of the Seraphim leaned forward, her head cocked to the side as a smile pulled the corners of her mouth up into a deceitfully warm grin. “Well she has to have a job, doesn’t she? It would be sinful to let her fall to sloth, hm?” The voice was almost condescending and Emily glared up at her. Why was she being so unkind? This was heaven, wasn’t everyone supposed to be kind?

“She is incompetent, unskilled, weak, unfit to lead, and incapable of keeping secret those truths which we hold dear to us. Under what circumstances could she possibly do anything worthy of a seraphim?” The words stung, just as the others all had. This session had gone on all day and Emily was tired of hearing how awful she had done these past few years.

“While I don’t disagree that the candidate is unsuitable and unbecoming, she still needs to contribute in some way if she is going to be in heaven. Since she’s too much of a crybaby to do any of the heavier lifting in our political realm, why not give her something easy, Sera? How about joy?” Emily watched as Sera glared up at the Seraphim. The disrespect in her words was absolutely palpable and Emily wanted nothing more than to cry and perhaps just give up on being a part of the court, but she didn’t want to disappoint Sera. She just wanted her to be proud of her.

Sera went to open her mouth but was interrupted by another court member, “Joy! What a splendid idea! We need a joy bringer, she’d be the first thing the winners see when they get here! She’d fit right in with her being so incompatible with the other seraphim. Her awkward, irrelevant, unprofessional attitude might actually serve to connect her better with the mortals coming in from such a sinful place as the living mortal realm.” The seraphim laughed lightly but the sound grated on Emily’s ears, making them burn golden. “The fact of the matter is, this specimen is motivated by a logic unbecoming of the highest of seraphim, to put her on the court would be a disservice to all of heaven. Joy bringer would give her some sort of position without giving her any actual authority. It’s a fool proof plan, really.” She leaned back, satisfied with her statement and Emily looked down at her feet to avoid seeing her cruel smile.

Sera glared up at her court, but when she realized there was no saving this she released the breath she’d been holding. “I suppose you’re correct. She would be the perfect face of heaven and the winners would be blessed to have her. Let’s take it to a vote shall we? We can draw up a contract and list of responsibilities this weekend if we are in agreement.”

The vote passed and court was finally dismissed. Emily followed Sera back to her office wordlessly and sat down across from her mentor. “Well, I think that went… well I’m going to look on the bright side! This could be good for me! Who knows what I might-

“This is not a good thing Emily!” Sera’s voice boomed in the large office, her hands slamming against the desk and her nostrils flared as she looked down at her ward. “Do you understand what they just did to you? Do you even know what your job is meant to be? Do you know what your grand purpose has become? Emily, you have been put below the winners in their eyes. Doomed to serve.”

Emily’s eyes welled up with tears and she let them fall. She glared up at Sera though as a feeling she was unfamiliar with overtook her.

Emily saw red.

The court room was so loud as Lute and Adam argued with Charlie and threatened to murder her and her family. Is this what the court meant by secret truths they hold dear to them? Murdering human souls by the thousands yearly? That’s the knowledge they had been withholding from her?

Emily saw red.

The flame was going cold, so, so, so cold. She tried to nurture it back to its former glory in her hands, feeding what she could into it but nothing she did was enough. Nothing she could carry to the flame would bring it back. So Emily went to the place where the flame began and hoped that she’d either be burned alive or die trying. She didn’t want to be cold, she wanted to be burned, she wanted to be light! But if there was no more flame than it was best that her icy heart shatter on the brimstone forever.

The story was supposed to end when Ass catches her.

She doesn’t.

Emily sees black.

*Emily wakes up with a start, falling into the bed where she had slept at least somewhat soundly the entire night. Ass is heavy against her and she’s grateful for the weight reminding her that things are alright, she is okay, she is safe*

*She’s not sure if she is worried for her own safety or Ass’s*

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Could a request a nsfw Office or Doctor AU for Geto x Reader? More so can't get the image of Geto in a well fit dress shirt out of my head. Like when he flexes 😤 I very much appreciate a nicely tailored suit on a man more than them being naked sometimes. The baggy clothes he wears does no justice

YES YOU MAY

Time and A Half: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

wc: 2k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

"It's time we merged with the Geto Corporation." The news brings your eyes away from your computer screen and to the woman standing in front of you.

"What?"

"We've already taken a vote," your mother admits, sitting in the leather chair across from you and crossing her legs. "And your brother voted for you in absentia since you were... away with your little friends."

"You couldn't have called me? I was at a wedding, mother!"

"In any case," She waves her hand, shaking her head. "Suguru, the CEO, will be coming to the office around two o'clock." You look down at your outfit, unsure if your slacks and plain dress shirt would suffice for a merger meeting. "Don't worry, I sent your assistant to go get a new dress for you. Can't have you showing up in your day clothes."

Three hours later, you're dressed in a houndstooth print dress, and waiting in the conference room with your mother, fiddling with your pen nervously.

"Mrs. L/n," your assistant announces as she walks in. "Mr. Geto and Mr. Gojo are here."

"Send them in," your mother answers, smiling her best "teeth out" grin. Two men enter the room, both insanely tall and almost model-esque. One man has startling blue eyes and white hair and is smiling at your mother as if he stole the cookies from the jar just before he entered the room. The other one is smiling as well, but his eyes and long hair are jet black, and he's more casually dressed than the other. You inhale sharply, facing down the ghost of someone you used to know, but pushing the recognition down and sticking out your hand to greet both men.

"Mr. Gojo," you turn first to the suited, white-haired man, who shifts his gaze to you.

"Ms. L/n, you look stunning," he croons, shaking your hand.

"Mr. Geto," you state, avoiding his piercing gaze as he takes your hand and brings it up to his lips. You flush, pressing your lips together as he whispers,

"Ms. L/n." You take a seat, chest red from the encounter, but not completely unnerved.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

_____________________________________________________________

You rush back to your office after the meeting, trying your best to keep your cool. But before you can close the door and be alone, a foot is inserted into the doorway.

"Can I borrow a sliver of your time?" Suguru wonders, standing in the doorway with his black eyes resting on your face. Much like that night...

"Sure," you offer, letting him inside and then shutting the door behind him. Suguru looks around your office, humming at the decor, then taking a seat across from you. "H-how can I help you?"

"Wanted to make sure you and I would be alright when it comes to working together considering our past."

"Oh, of course," you chirp, shifting papers around on your desk. "My company will be absorbed by yours, so you're calling all the shots, boss. Shouldn't be too unlike that evening we--"

"And I would hope you would come back to the club," he interrupts, standing. "I'd like to see you there. We had a wonderful time, and I'm sure that can be replicated."

"I... I don't really dabble in that anymore," you lie, biting your lip and looking down at your fingers.

"You came back that next night hoping to see me, and I'm sorry I wasn't there," Suguru whispers, leaning over your desk and getting closer to you. You stay put, eyes flicking from his lips to his eyes, unsure of what to do while your stomach twists into a knot. Fingers lift to touch your curls, one swirling around his finger as he stares at it longingly. "I haven't dommed anyone since the night I met you, y/n. This has to be fate; the universe bringing you back to me."

"I--"

"If not the club, then come to my place tonight. I'll take care of you, I promise."

_____________________________________________________________

"Should've made you my sub that night," Geto breathes across your skin, fondling your hips through your velvet dress. "Not seeing you for several months after that night has been hard..." You press into his lap, moaning involuntarily. "But I'll make up for the time lost if you'll let me."

Lips connect with your neck, and hands move to cup your breasts, massaging them gently. You tilt your head over, exposing more of your neck for Suguru to kiss, and leaning into his touch with desire.

"You have to consent, y/n," Suguru reminds you, and you nod, licking your lips. "I need to hear you."

"Yes," you murmur, and he hums softly, pushing you up to a standing position. You look back at him in curiosity, but he's unbuttoning his sleeves and pushing them up his muscled forearms. They stop at his elbows, and then he stands, flexing as he stretches.

"Undress and get on the bed, ass up." You follow instructions and leave your clothes in a pile, resting with your stomach on the plush comforter. Suguru comes up behind you, fingers probing at your entrance. "God, you're wet. And that pussy looks just as beautiful." thick fingers dip around in your slick, dancing across your clit before sliding into you with ease.

"Oh," you moan, coming off your stomach a little.

"You feel especially tight," Suguru murmurs, moving his finger back and forth gently. "Been a while since you last had someone cater to you, huh?"

"Yeah," you admit breathlessly. "Been so busy--"

"Don't lie," Suguru admonishes. "Seems like both of us had a mind-blowing time that night." He pushes another finger in, making you hiss in pleasure and buck your hips. "Y/n, you're so wet..."

You have to admit, the squelching sounds your cunt and his fingers are making are beyond blush-inducing. You feel as if he's busted the dam in your pussy, bringing out the side of you that's been dormant for some time and willing to tease you to the brink.

"You need this," he mumbles softly. You agree, but you can't really speak while you're being fingerfucked and your g-spot is being stroked deftly. You feel the urge to pee slowly become more pronounced, but you know this isn't really a problem. Suguru loved it when you squirted last time. You peer back at him over your shoulder, batting your eyelashes as he tilts his head, leaning into his hand that's inside of you. "Does that feel good?"

"Feels good," you echo, reaching a hand back to pull his other hand to action. "I want you so bad, Su..."

"In a minute," he promises, smoothing his free hand over your back. "You cum first."

"No," you whine. "Want to suck your cock while you make me cum." He huffs a laugh, then grabs one of your nipples.

"Never thought you'd be the one giving orders. But I'll oblige this once." He unbuckles his pants and slides them down his thighs, along with his underwear, then fists his half-hard cock, eyes drifting over your body lazily. "Come here, baby." You move a little to the left, facing his cock and reaching your hand out to grab his length and licking the tip gently. Suguru groans while you taste his pre-cum with excitement, sucking on his tip as his fingers increase their speed inside of you.

"Ah," Suguru moans, knees buckling slightly. "Just as good as I thought you'd be." You lick around his head and under the tip of his cock, making his free hand come up and cradle the back of your head. You remove your hand and bob your head on his cock eagerly, feeling your orgasm speed to its climax. You push your inner walls against his fingers as you begin to cum, and you squirt liberally on his fingers, down your thighs, on his bed.

"Fuck!" you cry out, closing your eyes and bucking against his palm. Suguru keeps fingering you and your pussy squirts out a little more than you expected, making him hum thoughtfully, then pull his fingers out and take off his shirt.

"Stay like that, baby." You pant against the bedsheets, clutching onto them as Suguru places his knee on the bed and shifts you closer to where he's kneeling on the soaked sheets. "Perfect. Spread your legs a little more."

You do so, and he rubs his cock up and down your soaked entrance lazily, his other set of fingers rubbing at your clit slowly. "Be good for me, and I'll give you exactly what you want, babe." You nod your head, and Suguru presses into you, making you flinch while he stretches you out, a hand pressing into your backside as he finds purchase and rocks into you.

"So good..." you whine, and he grunts, balls slapping your cunt.

"Remind me of the four pillars of a dom/sub relationship," Suguru states, and you try to recall all of the information quickly.

"Respect... trust... communication... honesty."

"Do I have your respect?" He delivers a blow to your ass, smoothing his hand over the spot as he awaits your answer.

"Yes," you breathe.

"Your trust?" Another smack.

"Yes."

"Can you communicate with me?" Smack.

"Yes, sir!"

"Can you be honest with me, even when it's hard?" Smack.

"Oh, god, yes!" You press your face into the sheets and moan, feeling the sting of the blows enhance your high, bringing you to a tipping point that isn't orgasmic in nature, but will instead bring you to a place you've been only twice in your life. "Sir, I feel it; I feel... I fee--" Your breathing slows, something in you surrenders completely, and you know in your mind you're there.

Subspace.

Your head begins to swim, and you feel Suguru adjust his grip on you, but no pain. Nothing is in your mind, the emptiness of it almost comforting, and you lean into the lack of sensation, mouth sliding open.

"Talk to me," Suguru pants, but you hum in response, no words forming in your head. When he realizes you're deep in subspace, he stops, pulling out and turning you over onto your back gently. After swiping the hair out of your face, he kisses your swollen lips, then glides back into you. "That's a good girl."

As he resumes his strokes, you stare up at him indolently, eyes roaming over his muscular figure and well-defined abs. You don't even realize your fingers are tracing them until he brings them up to his lips, kissing each finger with care. He places your hand on his chest and holds it there, leaning over you and beating a familiar pattern into your cunt. Long black hair falls over your face, obscuring your view from anything else while he kisses you again, pressing his entire frame into you.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers against your mouth, and you hum again, trying for a smile but only succeeding at turning one corner of your mouth up. "Oh, I'm gonna cum..."

"Please," you whisper and his eyes stare into yours, fingers tracing your cheek.

"Want me to cum in you?"

"Yes." Suguru's hips stutter - as if he had already anticipated your response - and he shudders, filling you with his cum, which feels like someone filling you up until you're past full. You stroke his cheeks while he pants, his last exhales bordering on cries of joy, and press small, sloppy kisses onto his chest and neck.

"I don't want to move," he admits, wrapping his arms around you and nestling his face into your neck. "I can't move."

"Then don't," you reply, stroking the dips and curves of his back tenderly. "You have me all to yourself."

"And I'll be sure to schedule a few after-work meetings for the two of us to discuss... business." You laugh a little, and Suguru places a kiss on your shoulder. "Just make sure you're free. I'll get the sub contract to you by Monday morning at eight o'clock."

"And you'll pick it up at...?"

"Eight-thirty. Have your assistant block off eight-thirty to nine-thirty. I have a feeling I might need to collect my first share of the company then."

[jamespotterthefirst]

Prelude (Ethan x f!MC)

Book: Open Heart, Book 1 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1.5 K Premise: Three moments leading up to their fateful meeting.

Author’s Note: In which I try to explain why MC didn’t know what Ethan, her medical hero, looked like. Also, my (late) fic for the book 1 replay. Thank you @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading!

Three.

Harper frowns down at the file in her hand, her sharp gaze burning into the collated papers as though coercing them to solve their dilemma once and for all. From the end of the table, Cyrus lets out an inpatient sigh.

“It's very simple, Harper,” he drones. Ethan's fists clench reflexively at his sides, urging to remind Cyrus that Harper is the chief now and warrants more respect than his insufferable tone is offering. “The last spot should go to the candidate from Harvard. We are the best hospital on the east coast, after all. It only makes sense.”

Harper looks unconvinced and still, her pensive expression remains fixed in the file.

“An ivy league degree does not a good doctor make,” Naveen adds sagely into the ensuing silence. His smile is placid enough but Ethan knows the older doctor well enough to hear the warning edge in his voice. Evidently, even Naveen disapproves of Cyrus's lack of respect for their new chief.

Cyrus scoffs.

“And if you need further proof of that, Doctor Cyrus,” Ethan begins dryly, eyes boring into him. “Then look no further than your side of the conference table.”

A few attendings—at least the ones who have become increasingly tired of Cyrus's boastful proclamations about his alma mater—laugh quietly at the jab. Cyrus splutters, his face an unpleasant shade of red as he glares daggers at Ethan.

“This candidate,” Harper says at last, unaware or uncaring of what she had just interrupted. Her two lone words are enough to command the room's attention at once, but her hazel eyes are on Ethan. “You're convinced she's the best fit for Edenbrook?”

Ethan meets her eye and pauses.

It's the first time they look at each other directly since he ended their relationship two weeks prior. Despite the brief time apart and an unshakeable resolve to be professional, his stomach sinks heavy, like a stone.

Harper looks as graceful and dignified as ever, keeping every emotion in check. Yet, as she holds his gaze, Ethan can see a small flicker or sadness and his stomach twists with guilt.

“I'm positive, Chief Emery,” Ethan responds. “This candidate exhibits the type of potential we look for at Edenbrook.”

The use of her new title seems to snap Harper out of a reverie.

“She graduated top of her class and ranked in the top percent among our chosen cohort of interns,” Ethan continues. “I've also looked into her research and it's among the most promising I've seen. I recommend her without reservations.”

With a single nod and a sense of finality, Harper closes the file.

“Then it's settled. We have our last intern.”

“You're joking, Harper,” Cyrus blurts out, incensed. “We're giving a coveted spot to the candidate from UCLA?”

He says the name of the school with so much derision, Ethan feels his ears flare up.

“That Doctor Ayala?” Cyrus continues.

“Doctor Allende,” Ethan corrects, jaw clenched.

“Don't we have enough charity cases in the cohort already? This is token—”

But the vitriol is quickly interrupted by several things happening at once: Ethan darting forward, fists ready; a startled, collective gasp from the other attendings; Naveen, quietly intercepting Ethan and halting his steps with a steady hand, a feat that is impressive for a man much older and shorter; and Harper, also on her feet, directing a disgusted look at Cyrus she doesn’t bother to disguise behind professionalism.

“I would think very carefully about finishing that sentence if I were you, Doctor Cyrus,” she says, her voice low but with the impact of a clashing gavel. “And I ask that you address me as Chief Emery moving forward.”

Two.

“If you end up marrying someone with a Boston accent,” Laurel is saying with a devilish grin. “I will never be able to keep a straight face when they talk. Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd.”

Her older sister peers at Lilac over the flaps of an open cardboard box, the glint in her eye growing wickeder still. “Imagine what they’d sound like in bed. You're so fucking gawgeous, dawctaw—”

Before her sister can escalate that impression into disturbing territory, Lilac silences her with a well-aimed pillow. It succeeds in hitting Laurel straight in the face but also in turning her laughter into a cackle.

“Are you going to help me pack or not?” Lilac says sternly, though the effect is entirely ruined by the smile that manages to break through.

Laurel raises her hands in defeat and returns to packing Lilac's books neatly. They work in companionable silence for a few minutes with nothing but their favorite music blaring from the speakers of Lilac's phone.

“Is this the book?” her sister asks suddenly, turning a worn textbook in her hands and studying it closely. “The one written by your medical crush?”

For some inexplicable reason, Lilac feels her face flare with heat. “He's not my crush.”

“You just worship the ground he walks on,” her sister returns, flipping through Diagnostic Principles. “Though, you're right. In order to have a crush you'd need to know what he looks like.”

Laurel reaches the back cover, frowning. “Why wouldn't he add an author picture?”

Lilac says nothing, biting the inside of her cheek. She can't blame her sister for being curious and a bit disappointed at the lack of visual representation. After all, Lilac had felt crestfallen when all she found in the author's information section was the green and blue Edenbrook logo.

“Maybe he's a private man and doesn't like his picture out in the world? Maybe he wants aspiring doctors to focus on his research and not his looks?”

“So he's either really hot or really ugly,” Laurel returns, unmoved by Lilac's impassioned speech. “Have you ever tried looking him up online?”

Lilac had been tempted many times, but she was fiercely adamant about keeping her medical hero a mystery outside of his work. It already felt invasive enough to track down his undergrad research and every other minor paper he'd ever written. When it came to Ethan Ramsey, Lilac had searched every corner of scholarly journals and databases, absorbing every piece of his work with an adoration that was already embarrassing enough.

Plus, she would never admit it out loud, but she was also afraid that knowing what the brilliant doctor looked like would somehow ruin him for her. Or at least, alter the image of him she had constructed in her head for so many years. It felt right to continue seeing Dr. Ramsey as the brilliant force that pushed her into her dream career and not as a definitive set of features.

“It doesn't matter what he looks like. He's the best and I'm going there to learn from him, not to judge his appearance.”

“I'm Googling him,” Laurel announces, already typing furiously into her phone. After a few seconds, her phone returns results and her eyebrows shoot up, staying suspended for longer than normal.

“What?” Lilac asks despite herself.

“Wow.”

“Wow what?”

“Just… wow.” Laurel stares down at the screen with such awestruck amazement that Lilac feels a powerful wave of curiosity. “He’s shirtless in some of these.”

“What?” Lilac yelps, feeling her face flare up at once. 

“Yeah, apparently you’re not his only fan. Tons of people have taken his picture.” Her sister seems to blink out of a trance, turning the screen toward Lilac. “Here, see for your—”

But Lilac turns her gaze away almost out of reflex.

“No!” 

The word comes out far more impassioned than Lilac intended. Still, she resolutely turns her head. “That feels...invasive, somehow?”

“Come on—”

“I'm serious, Lau. I don't want to see. I'm already nervous enough about this whole thing without having to worry about this wow-worthy revelation. And besides, taking someone’s shirtless picture without their consent and posting it online is already bad enough. It feels wrong supporting that.”

Laurel rolls her eyes.

“I'm going to see him in less than a week anyway. With clothes. In a professional setting. As I should. If I waited all these years, I can wait that long.”

A knowing, devious sort of smile pulls at her sister's face. She mumbles something over the music and Lilac can swear it sounds oddly like: “...worth the wait.”

One.

Ethan should have taken the broken and sputtering coffee machine in his apartment as an omen. His morning definitely declined from then on, starting with gridlock traffic and ending with an infuriatingly long line at his favorite coffee place.

The ultimate lack of coffee is probably his fault because Ethan had spent too much time deliberating whether or not he wanted to go with store bought coffee on what promised to be a grueling day. When he had finally made up his mind, however, the line was already out the door.

Irritated and caffeine deprived, he drives back to Edenbrook.

“You're earlier than we agreed,” Naveen says as soon as Ethan accepts his incoming call. “What was the point of rearranging the whole schedule if you were going to come in when you pleased anyway?”

“I'm not even through the gates yet. What are you spying on me?”

“No need. You forget how predictable you are.”

Naveen chuckles as he says this which eases some of Ethan's irritation. The older doctor had purposely scheduled him later in the day to give him some peace on the first day of the new intern cohort.

Naturally, Ethan arrived several hours early, as per his custom.

“Or maybe you know me too well by now.”

Naveen's benevolent laughter turns into a dry but lingering cough on the other end of the line. Instantly, Ethan's insides freeze over, his stomach sinking unpleasantly.

He opens his mouth to question his mentor about this persisting symptom, when sheer reflex prompts him to stomp on the breaks so suddenly, his body jerks forward then slams against his seat.

“Shit.”

Something—or rather someone— had crossed the parking lot road right in front of his car, standing mere inches away from his front bumper.

“Ethan?” Naveen asks through the speaker.

When Ethan recovers and regains movement of his arms and legs, he feels the spike of adrenaline give way to pure annoyance.

The offending pedestrian is a young brunette clad in blue scrubs, a medical intern by the looks of it. She stands there in the middle of the road, her mouth hanging open in a way that would have been comical to Ethan if he wasn't so irritated.

They stare at one another, though Ethan is convinced she can't see much through the tinted glass.

Then, right before his eyes, she seems to recover from the shock. Drawing herself to her full height, she glares at Ethan. At least, he thinks she's glaring through the dark lenses of her sunglasses.

Ethan almost scoffs.

She has the audacity to be angry when she was the one who made the rookie mistake of aimlessly crossing in front of him?

Who the hell does she think she is?

“Asshole,” she mutters, the word quite audible through his windows.

Before a stunned Ethan can respond, she turns on her heel and rushes toward the hospital, a curtain of dark hair dancing behind her.

“What was that?” Naveen asks, still on the call.

“I hate interns,” Ethan responds much to the older doctor's amusement.

Bonus:

Author’s Note: In other words, my MC was late to her orientation because of Ethan and that’s how she met him in the waiting room lol. Thank you so much for reading! 

*Tagging Separately 

[mettywiththenotes]

Bakugou and The Cuts

Okay so I absolutely agree that Bones is just so stupid for cutting out the League’s important moments, it sucks. BUT this isn’t the first time they’ve done this

While, yes, Bakugou’s cut scenes aren’t the same as the League’s, there are a couple of moments that piss me off where there is just a lack of context. A lack of context which really doesn’t build Bakugou’s development up well

First we have this scene in the second PL exam with Bakugou and Todoroki. In the manga, we see this

Bakugou insists that violence is the way to teach the kids a lesson, since that’s how he was raised. Shouto counters this with “There’s a better way of doing things.”

Bakugou REMEMBERS the Sports Festival and the conversation between Izuku and Shouto. He remembers the very topic of that convo: Shouto’s abuse and his scar.

He then realizes “Oh shit I fucked up” and lets Shouto take over, insists that he show him how he does things, in a very Bakugou fashion.

This moment was meant to show the significance of that moment in the Sports Festival, it was meant to directly link back to it so we’d see what Bakugou thinks of Shouto’s situation. Here, we are shown that he’s respectful of Shouto’s trauma, that he now realizes he shouldn’t have insisted that “violence was the answer” and that IN A SINGLE INSTANT he’s willing to change his mind and fix the situation. It showed Bakugou’s compassion and care

He doesn’t mention the abuse like “Oh shit sorry Todoroki I forgot you were abused”, he doesn’t call out WHY it was wrong of him to say it (because then that would be outing Shouto’s situation without his consent). He realizes his mistake and fixes it, allowing for Shouto to show what he means instead of forcing him to do things the Bakugou Way

This is an incredibly important moment. Not only does it show that he’s willing to give the reigns to someone else sometimes, it shows that Bakugou is capable of being compassionate, he’s capable of understanding and being respectful. This little moment holds so much to Bakugou’s character and that’s why I love it

Whereas when this scene was done in the anime...

There’s no reference to the Sports Festival Scene. There’s not even a little bit of a “oh I just realized something but I won’t show you what it was” moment. Here, it looks like Bakugou just wanted to get a rise out of Shouto in a competition way

As if he’s saying “Oh you think you’re better than me? Then why don’t you show us how it’s done, hotshot!”

While this does show that Bakugou is willing to let others take control sometimes, the point of this scene was also to illustrate how Bakugou remembers things. He remembers important information, not just basic info but personal info, and he’s willing to take all these factors into account in order to make a complete victory

I know that when I watched the anime (the first time I got into the series before reading the manga), I watched the Sports Festival convo, saw Bakugou listening in and thought “Oh, this is going to be relevant at some point. Cool!”

And it was. It was brought up again in the manga and I was so happy because then that scene of Bakugou listening in had significance. It was so good and it showed so much about how Bakugou’s mind works. It was so wonderful to see

I guess, if you’re an anime-only, you could use your brain and eventually figure out that the reason Bakugou let Shouto take control was because of his knowledge of the abuse but... there’s no indication to that moment. There’s no surprise or epiphany expression. There’s nothing to show you that Bakugou remembers

In fact, as an anime-only, you could look at this moment and say “That’s so inconsiderate of him not to remember Shouto’s abuse! He was there for that convo! Why didn’t he remember? What an asshole! And, oh yeah here we go, he’s sizing him up and trying to provoke Shouto again😒”

Which is the wrong reaction to have. Because that didn’t even happen. Bones just decided to erase that special thought-provoking moment and settle for “Haha Bakugou hothead moment”, and it gives off the wrong impression. It doesn’t give you the realization you’re supposed to have when looking at Bakugou’s character, and that’s what pisses me off

Another moment is the scene after Bakugou’s team wins against the 1B team in the Joint Arc. In the manga, we see this

Izuku calls his nickname, all happy to see that he won, and Bakugou yells at him. This, as we can see, is a reflex, because we see the sfx next to Bakugou himself. Izuku gives a meek reply to the yelling

This is such a relevant scene. Arguably, it is the most important to fully understanding how he interacts with Izuku. The Reflex sfx is to show that, while Bakugou is still at the point in his relationship with Izuku where they are still rocky, his outburst wasn’t intentional. It was a reflex because of 1) how he’s always acted with Izuku like this, so it’s just muscle memory to lash out like he always has and 2) Bakugou doesn’t know what to do with positive feedback and compliments. We literally just saw All Might compliment Bakugou and he walked away rubbing the back of his neck, saying a quip under his breath

In Bakugou’s arc, we’ve seen him be considerate to Shouto and his history with abuse. We knew that he was caring and respectful thanks to that. And when this scene came up of Bakugou yelling at Izuku like he always has, but this time with the Reflex sfx, that’s what lets us know that Bakugou didn’t mean to do it

It’s that connection from “caring” “respectful” to “he didn’t mean to do it”. You gather this information about Bakugou and it allows you to get a grasp on who he is as a person

It makes you wonder if it wasn’t a reflex, would Bakugou have done something else? Would he have said what he said after this Reflex scene and had that back and forth with Izuku a second earlier?

Would he have jumped straight into challenging him?

The Reflex sfx speaks volumes of Bakugou’s character. I consider this an important scene because it gives you more information about Bakugou and his mindset, how hard it is to recalibrate how you’ve always acted to someone

Whereas in the anime...

No Reflex sfx. Which wouldn’t be a big deal if the anime had decided not to animate most of the sfx’s from this arc... *inhales*

EXCEPT THEY DID DECIDE TO DO THAT. THEY ANIMATED MOST OF THE SFX’S APART FROM THIS ONE.

Here, it just looks like Bakugou is once again being his old “I’m better than you so shut up” self. Which is a repeating thing Bones likes to show

As an anime-only, you do have the info of Bakugou meeting up with Izuku and All Might before his match and him challenging Izuku softly, you do have the knowledge that Bakugou was thinking “Just watch me” about Izuku, but it sucks that you don’t get that very obvious moment of Bakugou yelling at him being a reflex. It’s in your face, in text, and you just can’t ignore it

Taking away or adding the sfx in changes the scene’s context. Taking it away shows Bakugou as The Bully, while adding it in shows a different side of him

It was around about this time in the manga where I think Bakugou was considering his actions and what he had done (I mean, that already shows in how much Bakugou had calmed down when challenging Izuku softly in comparison to the past), so to have this moment that makes the viewer think “Wait, it was a reflex? He didn’t mean to insult him? Did he not want to yell at him?” to just cutting it out and giving us standard Bakugou Yell And Insult Deku is really... frustrating

When I look back on the anime, I can see them cutting out scenes like this as them deciding that the audience already has enough information to know that Bakugou is changing, but

1) PL Exam moment was important. It connected directly with the Sports Festival conversation and showed the consequence of Bakugou listening in - that he took the information into account and decided to quietly change how he acted

And 2) Joint Arc moment was to show that Bakugou acts this way mostly because he doesn’t know how to act around Izuku (because he’s always done it this way), and that it’s likely muscle memory to spit out insults or yell when he sees him

These scenes are the information that anime-only’s need in order to grasp him as a character

When I think about the possible reasons as to why they cut the moments out, studio-wise, I kind of lean to animation budget issues with what to animate and what not to. Though, in the case of these scenes

1) PL Exam moment is literally just a flashback moment. You know, the kind that Bones have been using excessively in the Internship Arc? This could probably be down to time limit in the episode, that they didn’t have enough time to add it in, buuuuut nothing to do with animation budget (to my knowledge) and it still annoys me

2) Joint Arc moment was filled with useless sfx’s all over the place. While they are fun to see, they also have no meaning other than to announce a super move (which we don’t necessarily need in order to know what is happening), whereas Bakugou’s Reflex sfx does have meaning

I know we’ve all talked about how Bones’ handling of MVA being stupid and dumb, but this isn’t the first time they’ve cut development scenes out. From memory, they haven’t done this to any other Hero character except Bakugou. It just kind of... says a lot about who they prioritize and how they treat him

These are just missing moments that irked me personally. I haven’t seen anybody else talk about it, but with everyone currently talking about how Bones fucked up with cutting out necessary development moments in MVA, I thought this was relevant

[not-poignant]

Your characterization and dialogue are incredible, how did you make me fall in love with Nate in one fell swoop like that? how did that happen? what is this magic

Hi hi!

This one I can actually kind of answer! :D

A really great way to introduce an unlikeable character who you want to be kind of likeable, at least to some people, is

* Have other characters who you already like, like that character. Including cheerful characters, like Janusz. Nate becomes immediately a bit more accessible when we learn that Janusz both a) likes him and b) isn’t threatened by his attitude (which indicates that his attitude actually isn’t a threat).

* Then have more characters respect that character, in the case of Leo, and the other members of the poetry group.

* Have the character who is treating your main character kind of poorly, actually be not the worst to other characters (Nate was pretty cool to those 70 year old dudes, and also is generally milder around Janusz).

* He’s an underdog. Chances are if you like my writing, you like rooting for the underdog already.

* Nate is protective. It’s clear that he is a) getting information for Janusz which indicates he cares about what Janusz thinks about Efnisien going to choir and b) he’s protective of his poetry group - he says clearly that he’s not interested in people joining if they’re tourists, and while that puts Efnisien on the spot, it does indicate a leader who is protective of the people he does actually care about, even if he doesn’t show that care in ‘typical’ ways.

* He’s actually pretty honest, and while he may be lacking some qualities (er, like, some politeness), authenticity gives people the sense that he’s not dicking Efnisien around even if he’s being, well, a dick.

* Despite being pretty closed off, he has an open enough personality that he’s willing to a) sing in a group and b) write poetry in a group. He also demonstrates that he’s more than capable of a) not giving critique when it’s not wanted. He also asks Leo for his consent to critique before offering it. So we know that Nate cares about consent, which in this story, is a huge fucking deal.

* And to a degree, to some people, he’s just relatable.

There were people who already liked Nate just based on Efnisien’s encounters with him in the choir (but there were people who also thought he might be an upcoming villain so ymmv), but the poetry meet kind of cements that for more people.

But yeah like, there’s several writing techniques I tend to employ when I’m turning around characters or introducing characters that aren’t typically likeable. Nate’s was probably one of the easiest, because I could introduce so many ‘counters’ to his rudeness in the poetry meet, and it wasn’t like...say, the Raven Prince (or even Efnisien lmao). There are lots of reasons to like Nate now! :D

[cuntess-carmilla]

Update: I stopped taking psychiatric medication because they turned out to have only ever been of “help” because I have POTS/dysautonomia and one made my blood pressure rise (Wellbutrin) while the other kept it from going up too high (Lamotrigine).

Now that I’m taking meds that are for what I ACTUALLY do have (POTS/dysautonomia) not only do I not need the psychiatric meds, but they were throwing off everything else. I hate psychiatry so much. Can’t believe I turned out to be one of those people who had their physical illness mistreated as You’re Crazy for years haha. :) With that out of the way...

Some Many of my Opinions™ on psychiatry, as a psychiatrized person myself who does take medication, but hates the institutions of psychiatry and psychology, and thinks a large chunk of it is white pseudo-science:

A good amount of the issues that the psychiatric institution addresses ARE absolutely real and, as a society, people who’re afflicted by them should by all means receive help and support so they can live happier lives. I experience many of them and take medication to help myself, I obviously don’t think the difficult experiences people seek help for are made up.

At the same time, psychiatry and psychology as disciplines ARE made up (like every other discipline), making them not infallible or objective, AND they were built on eugenics, patriarchy, white supremacy and capitalist exploitation.

Those very real issues addressed by psychology/psychiatry aren’t actual literal pathologies. They don’t need to be literal tangible sicknesses in order to matter or be deserving of help and compassion. Your literal brain as a bodily organ is not physically “ill”, at least in most cases. It doesn’t need to be for your problems associated with an “ill mind” to be real and to matter. Remember, these disciplines were created at a time in history in which (white, male) doctors and theorists were obsessed with turning everything into a material, scientifically tangible subject that could be objectively measured with numbers and shit, hopefully medicalized or otherwise turned into “hard science”. That’s where ethnography came from. It’s called positivism, which is extremely dehumanizing, white supremacist and capitalist.

Psychology should be largely considered as much more of a metaphysical or philosophical discipline than as objective science, which is how most people perceive it to be. It’s mostly pure theory about emotions, thoughts, cognition, relationships and subjective experiences + perceptions -- which isn’t necessarily a bad thing on itself. It not being hard science doesn’t immediately delegitimize it. Get rid of the white capitalist idea that only (western, white) science and “objectivity” are real or of value. Actually, holding psychology to the standards of hard science turns it into pseudo-science, so... Yeah. I genuinely think we’d get so much further As A Society™ regarding psychology's potential to aid people who’re suffering if we treated it as more of a metaphysical or philosophical discipline than as some objective scientific truth.

Psychiatrists often are super ignorant of the actual way the medications they prescribe work or affect patients lmao. I had that almost ruin a whole semester at college because a shrink prescribed me meds that in combination she should’ve known would fuck me up. Not that much is known about how the human brain truly works compared to other human organs, you can’t expect psychiatric meds to be well tried and true. The research on psychiatric pharmacy is very lacking + biased in favor of pathologizing and controlling psychiatrized people, besides attempting to make the most profit under capitalism like any other capitalist industry, so of course they’re gonna prescribe you shit. Plus, like doctors of every other field, many psychiatrists arrogantly disregard the experiences, requests, questions and ideas of their patients, who’re the ones taking those meds.

Psychologists/therapists, just like psychiatrists, also disregard the experiences, requests, questions and ideas of their patients.

There’s such a strong element of power imbalance in how psychiatry and psychology function. The more a patient knows formal information about anything related to psychology/psychiatry, the more the shrink can get upset, distrustful and dismissive of them, saying they’re faking it, or telling them “not to do their jobs” when they so often do said jobs like shit anyway lmao no matter how thorough the research and understanding of the patient is.

Psychological and psychiatric diagnoses are just as made up as any other human construct (such as language, race, gender, etc). They’re not tangible realities as if shrinks had ran into a previously unknown objective fact of nature. In the realm of psychology, someone takes a bunch of traits and behaviors that by their observation they consider to be interconnected with one another, put them in the same bag, stick a label to said bag, and ask other psychologists if they agree with the bag being a thing. These considerations are heavily influenced by sociocultural bias. You can’t tell me it isn’t true that they’re made up and very subjective when “diagnoses” such as drapetomania, hysteria, homosexuality, gender identity disorder, etc, have been seriously considered at least by part of the psychiatric establishment of their times as legitimate mental disorders. Hell, some still consider being gay or trans to be mental disorders. Don’t get me started on "Oppositional Defiant Disorder”, that shit’s just evil.

A lot of the ideas spread by the psychiatric-psychological institution are legit pseudo-science that researches try time and time again to prove and end up coming with nothing, or they end up tweaking their own research or conclusions to maintain the established consensus that just so turns out to be very convenient to the people who make and sell psychiatric meds.

Many of the traits, emotions, thoughts, perceptions and behaviors that are pathologized by psychiatry and psychology aren’t inherently harmful. If they don’t make the patient or others suffer by their very nature (as opposed to like, homophobic parents “suffering” because their child is gay or a gay person suffering because of homophobia) then there’s no need to alter them. “Correcting” them is a measure of social control that crushes individuality and only attempts to mold people into obedient ~productive~ servants of capitalism. Much of psychiatric medical treatment (not just the diagnoses and therapies themselves) focuses on turning the patient into less of a social “burden”, than on their actual happiness. That’s why you have ADHD and autistic kids being given meds that turn them into zombies and that's been considered a good thing for DECADES. Like, why does the stimming of an autistic person or an “unusual” attachment to stuffed animals as an autistic adult have to be corrected? WHOMST does that harm? Nobody! But it makes allistics uncomfortable because allistics are fucking stupid and can’t mind their God damned business to save their lives like normal people do.

Even non-pharmaceutical treatments for psychiatrized conditions are or can be turned into measures of social control. 

Maybe CBT wasn’t meant to be a tool to control people and shit, but it can be misused as such SO easily! It can go from being therapy to help individuals process inner pain and redirect harmful behaviors in positive ways, to being turned into training someone to react, feel and process abuse and oppression in ways that are convenient to the status quo. 

Don’t get me fucking started on ABA as an inherently oppressive, abusive “treatment” for a psychiatrized condition that does nothing to actually better the lives of autistic people, instead punishing autistic traits, teaching autistic people to painfully repress said traits and ignore their needs, and seeking to appease allistics by prioritizing their convenience and subjective comfort.

Behaviors, emotions, perceptions or traits that on a man or white person would be considered a non-issue or given much more compassionate/less stigmatized diagnoses, are pathologized or given much more stigmatized diagnoses when it comes to female or racialized patients, which reaffirms psychiatry and psychology as subjective tools of social control.

While many of the traits, emotions, perceptions and behaviors of what are considered personality disorders are painful, harmful and real (and thus should be helped, with consent, not hammered down), literal personalities aren’t “ill”. They’re personalities. Pathologizing or medicalizing a fucking personality on itself is ridiculous. It is possible to address those problematic traits/behaviors/etc without saying that a fucking personality is “ill”. So much for “you’re not your disorder”.

What shrinks will deem as hallucinations or delusions can be subjective, and it definitely can be deemed as such out of white-centric cultural bias. Plenty of non-white cultures have considered different perceptions of reality as valid and worthy of respect for centuries, at times related to their sense of spirituality. Not to mention how psychiatry has deemed the real anxieties of oppressed people that they’re being followed, spied on, plotted against and all that, as hallucinations or delusions in order to discredit them.

Many patients are given medication to try to alleviate traits/behaviors/emotions that come from circumstance (poverty, ongoing abuse, trauma, oppression...) instead of addressing the root problems. While I 100% understand using medication as a palliative measure because, bitch, you can’t always fix those problems and you still have a life to live (the same way I take clotiazepam when the insensitivity of the allistics around me causes me sensory overload), this puts the burden of the person’s situation on their own body, as if their body was the essential source of a suffering that comes from outside forces they’re not responsible or in control of. This should ideally be addressed through material change in realities that can be individual (removing the person from an abusive situation, giving economic aid, giving proper treatment to an untreated chronic illness) or social (abolishing white supremacy, the patriarchy, capitalism, etc).

So many times when palliative medical treatments for suffering that comes from circumstances don’t work (BECAUSE THE PATIENT IS STILL TRAPPED IN SAID CIRCUMSTANCES, HELLO?) it’s blamed on a supposed defect of the patient’s body/brain rather than, like... You can give me as many anti-depressants as you want but I’m still gonna be miserable if I’m being abused or suffering from unending physical chronic pain lol. And then, instead of at least having the decency of recognizing the real source of the problem if your shrink can’t realistically fix it, they keep trying more and more different meds on you like you’re a fucking lab rat, keeping on blaming a made up defect you were “born” with. Imagine what that does to a person’s self-image! At least when I loathe my body for the chronic pain, chronic fatigue and more that my chronic illnesses give me, it IS actually true that it’s my body that has a defect that can’t be cured. Why convince a person in suffering due to anything, but especially when it’s due to outside conditions out of their control and your job is fucking supposed to be to help them be happier, that their pain refuses to respond to treatment because their BRAIN is so terribly defective? I don’t wish the hatred I hold for my objectively shitty body on anyone, and causing that to someone when it’s not even true...? Incredible.

Lots of genuine difficulties associated with psychiatric diagnoses are much better helped through accessibility and material considerations, or at least through teaching the patient pragmatic methods to better deal with those, than through pills. But guess what solution shrinks usually give you. Hint: it’s easier for them and they can charge you for it monthly.

Society™ medicalized emotions, bro... WE MEDICALIZED FEELINGS!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!

[ghostmaggie]

hey so in your MKAT post (which you’re 100% correct about) you also mention you’ve had some issues with RT in the past. i’m fairly new in the fandom and also watch his other show iZombie, but i wanted to ask what issues they were?? i like to be informed about the media i consume lmao

Oof okay so I'm on mobile and therefore this will probably be more rant-y and opinion-based than you might be looking for, so I invite anyone with opinions or sources or thoughts or contradictions to reply or shoot me asks and I'll share them (plus I'm curious of other thoughts) but,,

Idk if this was clear in my original post, but my issues are mainly contained within the actual show as opposed to things about him irl, because idk that much outside of secondhand info, so take it with a grain of salt I guess, lol

Also, I feel like I need to say that this is really negative about vmars--which, to be clear, is a show I love dearly--and I know sometimes I like to avoid negative commentary on things I enjoy because it gets stuck in my head and ruins my enjoyment. So if that's you, feel free to skip this! I wont be offended and you shouldn't feel bad about it! It's also just one person's opinion, and I'm most definitely not always right :)

So mostly setting aside the brand new season because I have no clue how to talk around spoilers effectively, in short (with spoilers up through the movie and maybe some spoilers for the books and new season, I cant really tell at this point):

(Editor's note post finishing writing: it's not even all my thoughts, but it's not short. Sorry.)

RT shares in the grand tradition of showrunners I do not care for along with Steven Moffat and Jason Rothenberg, for many parallel reasons. Moffat thinks hes cleverer than he really is, jroth is a douche about romance and character motivation, and both are smug jerks who drove me away from shows I used to love, so.

So number one I guess would just be the sense that he really fucking does not care about the fans. It's especially egregious, as I've seen others point out, when he literally would never have gotten his show back (after driving it to the ground) without the LITERAL MONEY donated by devoted fans. I'm not saying you have to do things just because fans want them, but to go out of your way to do things you know fans will hate just to be contrary is,, yeah.

He thinks he's so very smart, and yet his plots are riddled with holes and inconsistencies (hello, Moffat). It speaks, to me, of a lack of respect for everyone involved--fans, writers, actors, crew, critics, just everyone. Write down a timeline. Something. Try.

One of my bigger issues, though, is that the misogyny in vmars is just...beyond appalling. Not just narratively--i understand representing the flaws in society, I guess, but veronica is honestly one of the most misogynistic parts of the show, and she is never ever ever held accountable for it. Ever. The show never sends the message that she's wrong for the atrocious way she treats, to name a few, Madison, Kendall, Gia, and even Carrie during the s1 plot with Adam Scott. The carrie thing is especially fucked up bc iirc the narrative only condemns her for guessing the victim wrong. (As another note, her treatment of other marginalized groups or basically anyone she ever treats badly--logan, Keith, Wallace, weevil, the list goes on--is rarely or never narratively critiqued. Veronica mars can do no wrong, apparently, even when she's obviously wrong.)

She's far from the only example of misyogny, of course--duncan's s2 dream about madonna/whore meg/veronica comes to mind in screaming color, yet donut is somehow treated like a prince forever and ever and v's lost true love even though he's basically the scum of the earth (pardon, my true feelings are coming out a little here).

Somewhat connected is, of course, the show's treatment of rape in general (hi, season 3), but especially Duncan's rape of veronica. I'm still not over the way they walked it back to "not a rape" and took back holding him accountable. I live for all the fanfiction that addresses it, because at least there people remember that, whether he "thought she could consent" or not, he literally thought she was his sister and didnt know. That's uninformed consent at best, babe!

And if that wasn't bad enough, to "resolve" that plotline and then come back at the end of season 2 to be all, "jk! You WERE raped, by SOMEONE ELSE [too]! Enjoy that reenabled trauma, and some chlamidya to boot!"

Speaking of retconned instances of sex, how about that piz/veronica tape that suddenly became full on sex in the movie? Fun times.

My favorite bout of misogynistic writing, you ask? That would have to be "narratively-enforced nicest girl in school who stands by her friends and is sweet and loyal becomes a raging hell bitch yet also the representation of misogynistic virginal innocence because she was knocked up and abandoned by Mr. Narratively-Claimed-to-be-Perfect-but-Actually-the-Worst and completely undergoes a 180 personality change then dies for plot reasons" because holy fucking shit.

Okay sorry I got way more into that than I meant to. I'll try to wrap up.

RT does a very jroth job of treating fans like shit for giving a shit about a romantic relationship he created. He acts like fans are a bunch of stupid girls for caring about romance, but then pushed it at every level of promo to reel us back in. Make up your mind, asshole. It's desperately unfair to bait fans with romantic promo (even in the form of an inane and ooc love triangle) and then snap back with "oooh it's noir, shut up about the romance!"

If that's how you feel, stop making every other plot point and promo about the fucking romance.

RT seems to want to be making a show that he isnt. He wants to be grimdark and angsty and awful, I guess, and while there have been elements of effective darkness throughout vmars, they have been tempered by the show as a whole. That made it (mostly palatable) for people like me. To flip the script now does a disservice to long term fans and does nothing to attract new viewers. If you want to make a different show, make a different show. Don't drive beloved characters into the ground because you're bitter about how your work is perceived post-death of the author.

To wrap up--he hates character growth. He must really hate it. This is dipping a little into the new season, but he just. Won't let anyone develop. Well. Maybe some people. A very few. But not veronica. Never veronica. Because heaven forbid your main character, the person we've followed for 15 years, be anything other than she was at 16. Her personality, her approach to the world, none of it has changed. Which begs the question: what has been the fucking point?

Sorry this is so long. I'm not sure I even answered your question, so feel free to ask me to try again 😂

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 6x06 All the Way

aka not much for the timber

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode is mostly Dawn-centric and immensely entertaining with a lot of fun bits… up until the moment it’s not. (That’ll be a YIKES from me, @ Willow.)

Truth be told, All the Way took me by a bit of a surprise, because for some reason I misremembered Dawn’s Halloween adventures as a season 7 plot. (It may be the influence of another episode, Him, although that episode is memorable to me for all the wrong reasons.)

But yeah, Dawn sneaking out, and accidentally hooking up with a vampire happens, and I actually kind of love it? Especially the scene with Buffy, where her and Dawn argue about their questionable choices in men. It’s an absolute delight, and Dawn being immediately turned off by the fact that her vamp boo, Justin, thinks that her sister being the Slayer is what makes her special, is just the cherry on top.

And this kind of wonderful banter rooted in the characters and their dynamics, is carried through the whole episode. The opening alone just filled me with joy. Tara interrupting Anya’s accidental inappropriateness in front of Dawn, and then somehow folding it into a lesbian joke. Willow’s outrage at inauthentic witch costumes melting in the face of a tiny child wearing the same. Xander amping up the ridiculousness of his pirate affectation for the sake of some kids, and being absolutely unafraid of being mocked by them. (Also, the eye-patch…) Giles being a sarcastic asshole about Xander to Buffy with later revealing the reason behind his glass-cleaning habits, and making meta commentary about how if something happens on Halloween, it’ll involve them anyway – much to Buffy’s chagrin, who was trying to quietly take off under the pretense of patrolling, instead of helping out with the wrapping. She also laments how much easier it has been to talk with Spike when he was trying to kill her all the time.

At the end of the day, Anya is extremely happy with all the traffic they had at the shop, and seeing her enthusiasm apparently momentarily wakes Xander up from his fear of commitment, just enough to announce their engagement. Only for him to get once again absolutely overwhelmed by everything, once they start talking about the whole marriage thing. (Hey, Xander, isn’t that supposed to be the whole idea of getting engaged?)

Oh, boy. But there’ll be time enough to analyze Xander’s issues, and how I sympathize with them. (I know, hot take. Except for the part of how he’s handling the post-Hell Bells situation, because that I do not have an excuse for. Own your baggage and the damage you inflict with it, my dude.)

Xander and Anya’s relationship isn’t the only one with cracks appearing in it though. Nope, this is also the episode where Tara starts seriously questioning Willow’s practices, and it gets… bad. It’s real bad.

Okay, so, it starts off rather innocently. Willow does a spell to decorate the house for the engagement party. Tara and Giles share a look, and Tara later gently tries to broach the subject with Willow, that maybe she didn’t need to do a spell for that. They could’ve just bought the decorations if they wanted.

Now, truthfully, the spell itself is rather harmless. Sure, when it comes to house party decorations, part of the fun is the decorating itself, but Anya liked it, and she and Xander are the ones this party is about anyway. But Willow’s defensiveness shows the underlining problem – she has absolutely no restraint or hang-ups about using magic in any situation. And given the amount of power she wields now, and her already existing character traits of wanting to mold the world to her liking, that’s a bit concerning.

Using magic to solve her problems is not a new phenomenon for Willow. Remember, in season 3 she tried to do a “delusting” spell on her and Xander without his knowledge or consent. And in Something Blue, her spell was supposed to cure her heartache in a moment’s notice.

Those spells of course misfired, and so we were mostly left with sympathy for Willow in these instances. I mean, who wouldn’t want to just poof their confusing, self-destructive impulses and pain away? But we can’t. The only way out is through.

Except Willow actually has the power now to change reality to her liking. She could phase hundreds of people into another dimension, just to make finding Dawn easier. Sure, it’s a ridiculous amount of risk for such a small convenience, and obviously no one at the club consented to it, but she can do it. More notably, she absolutely would do it.

Previously I commented about how Giles seemed to have told no one about his confrontation with Willow in 6x03, but he may have talked to someone about it after all – Tara. At the very least, Willow certainly thinks that’s the case.

And Willow deep down knows that she’s out of line. That’s why she’s so defensive, and why she didn’t reveal all the details of the resurrection spell. But she doesn’t want to confront those things about herself, and thanks to her powers, she doesn’t have to. She can just poof things away to avoid that.

She can just change Tara to her liking, so she wouldn’t bring it up.

YIKES. SO MANY YIKES.

So, yeah guys. This is it. Our second major storyline involving highly problematic consent.

Well, Buffy essentially is always fighting the rape metaphor, but as I mentioned in my Who Are You? post, there are three plotlines that especially stand out in that respect. Not just because they involve major characters as the victims, but as the actual perpetrators.

This case resembles more the previous instance with Faith and Riley, in that it’s an issue of a lack of informed consent due to magical circumstances. As a result, it may be easier to somewhat detach it from a real world analogue as a viewer, but it’s still what happens. So we’ll need to address it as such.

I will say though, that this storyline at least recognizes its own yikes factor, as opposed to how Riley’s situation is handled. (A reminder: poorly.) Part of it is “helped” by the fact that Tara already has experience in what a controlling environment is. So once she finds out that Willow messed with her memories, she absolutely fucking refuses to let her get away with it. (“I can’t adjust to this, disgust, we’re done…”)

But that’s for tomorrow and after.

Now, since we’re already at the subject, we could also mention the rapey-ness of the high school vamps, but this is nothing new. Again, that’s sort of the point. Buffy is fighting the patriarchy and rape culture, that’s the most obvious metaphor of the vampires throughout the entire series.

The fact that Dawn’s vamp boo seemed nicer than his friend, Mr. “She asked for it”, also reminded me of Reptile Boy. Although, in that case, the nice guy was revealed to be a conniving snake, whereas Justin seemed arguably clueless somewhat about his own predatory aspects. Almost as if he was socialized to think that it was normal to pressure girls into sex, if he was nice about it and maybe even genuinely liked the girls in question…

The episode also ends with Buffy transferring her responsibilities regarding Dawn to Giles. And while regarding the financial problems, I maintain that Giles bailing out Buffy and Dawn was the least he could’ve done, this is where he should’ve set his boundaries.

Alas, that didn’t happen, and no one seems to be aware yet of Dawn’s little stealing problem either.

So, there. That was All the Way. Please take care of yourselves and be mindful of your fellow humans.

[01010010-posts]

— the 'O' of my abo.

requests: A/B/O with reader being an Omega and the RK boys their alphas, and the reader is so. Goddamn. Cute. They die everytime of cuteness

also my fucking self requested this even before opening this blog y’all can fight me on my abo au if you think there’s not gonna be an alpha one you’re wrong

short introduction to abo/omegaverse au

Connor:

• if you compare him to the other two he’s probably the most normal • a v polite & considerate alpha • you almost think he’s an omega at first but his scent says otherwise • he’s so,,,, nice • honestly how can you not fall in love with him?? • you can’t, simple • but at the same time he’s too nice • he’s doing it out of courtesy or he genuinely likes you?? • while you’re questioning such trivial matters he’s languishing over you • how can you be so cute?? and smell so nice?? is it– is it figs? your scent resembles ripe sweet figs? • Hank is fucking tired of hearing him sighs so dreamily • you’re both stupid bc you’re lusting over each other so much everyone knows except you two • great!! you finally did it!! one of you managed the courage to ask the other!! • from then on everything is nice • he’s nice, you’re nice, the bond between you two is hecking nice!! • since he’s a baby he wouldn’t mark you in a very showy spot, maybe on your inner right thigh would be perfect • he’s not the super jealous type so don’t worry you can peacefully have lots of alpha friends • this doesn’t mean he won’t growl or get upset with strangers being too flirty • heat? he’s prepared!! he searched everything!! he’s a mom 

RK900:

• he’s the embodiment of an alpha, really • like tall, strong, warm and even good-looking • so when you, a tiny little omega, enter his vision for the first time • it’s chaos • all of his systems go haywire • your sweet scent of caramel is the only certainty • oh god he has not simply fallen in love with you at first sight, he’s hopelessly stuck in the quicksand that is his love for you • he’s intoxicated • his only self-assigned mission is making you his • he’s deadly set on the task • what do you mean a date? you need no such thing for he’s already courting you every day in his own way • and by that i mean he fucking knows what you need even before you actually need it • and ofc he’s ready to give it to you the moment you realize it • he becomes such an everlasting presence in your life that you both don’t need to question if he’s your mate or not • how smooth one has to be to achieve something like that? like damn • he won’t pressure you into being marked • but when you feel comfortable about it please do tell him • you will make him the happiest android ever • he’d like to mark you in a very visible place • like on your neck below your left ear • but really anyplace is fine as long as you’re cool with it • also yeah you don’t know how or when but you’re always covered in his scent • ‘covered’ as in ‘not even a 2 hours long bath will make that go away’ • other alphas are afraid of touching you • you don’t fuck with RK900 level of jealousy is that clear • where do you think you’re going without wearing something of his? • he loves watching you making nests how can you be so cute??? is beyond his programs • a little startled by your heat but he’s certainly not complaining • he gets extremely sad about not being able to concieve during every heat • but he won’t tell you that • please cuddle him lots, okay? 

RK800-60:

• he doesn’t pay you much attention the first time you meet • but as time goes on he finds himself terribly in love • and when he realizes that oh boy • he wants to be close to you whenever you’re around • he desperately wants to rub his scent all over you but ughhh he doesn’t know how you would react • what if you don’t like it?? heck what if you hate his scent?? • he’d be heartbroken by that • because he can’t get enough of your sweet plum scent • every time he goes into ‘rest’ mode he thinks of you • can androids dream? he doesn’t know but he’d like to dream of you • just,,,, ask him out please he’s dying • did you ask him out? good • now you’ve got yourself an overly attached puppy • he’s very vocal, he growls at other alphas and whines if you don’t give him kisses • of course he’s going to show you off you’re his wonderful omega everyone has to know about it • but people have to follow the rule ‘watch, not touch’ • where would he love to mark you? on your clavicle • he would love to help you with the nest but he’s scared of messing up • what,,,, are you okay,,,, ahhh it’s only your heat • he panics but don’t worry he’s a fast learner 

Bonus — Connor / RK900 / RK800-60 (a/a/a/o pack in the DPD):

• Connor is the first you get to know and he’s so friendly you can’t get enough of interacting with him • so when you try to hug him from behind you get a lil’ shocked to see that you hugged the wrong person • yeah you actually hugged RK900 • which, upon inspecting you, doesn’t act annoyed at all • in fact he has just silently decided that you would be a perfect mate for him • you apologize and flee from his burning stare without knowing anything about his mischievous plan • next day you inform Connor that you met his brother? twin? cousin? similar model? • and he goes more or less ‘yeah, I’m perfectly aware, [name]’ with a hint of anger • did you do something bad? even so you try your best to keep your distressed scent to yourself • but after lunch break you keep thinking about his tone and his expression when he said that and now, overthinking it, you’re sure you did something bad • isn’t the right thing to do to say sorry? to talk about it? whatever it is you can sort it out • so you go and try to speak to him but?? come on don’t act like you don’t know me • what do you mean you actually don’t know me • what,,,, 60? but,,,, Connor,,,, then,,,, triplets?? • you swear your head gonna spin and you’re gonna faint do you need glasses? • but no you don’t fall because RK900 is supporting you by hugging you from behind • and he smoothly kisses your temple, smiling a soft smile, with his canines showing • “I’m sorry, maybe I hugged the wrong person.” is he mocking you? • you’re lucky, tho, since Connor comes to your rescue • “I’d prefer if you stopped hugging [name] without their consent” wow you never heard him gritting through his teeth so bad • “[name]? that’s exquisitely pretty. I expect no less from my omega.” • let’s just say that Connor’s eyes are not the only ones going so wide • “well, not only pretty in words, but even in looks. why are you so selfish, Connor? when were you going to tell us about [name]? shouldn’t we share?” oh gosh now 60 is toying with your hair • obliviously RK900 growls a bit because he’s not one to share either • tbh you’re sure they will go at each other’s throat at any moment now, not bothering about their duty • but you have to reevaluate their behaviour when you strangely find three alpha androids in your home • impossible to have a boring moment anymore • every day they sweetly tease you • at home mostly • but also in the workplace • do you have a particularly nice scent today? • well, others may not notice but they do • and they don’t miss the opportunity to let you know • both with by speaking and touching • light touches sometimes are not enough for them so– • is an interrogation room free? hacking sound and cameras it’s a game for them • RK900’s approach is very physical and territorial, he’s definitely the most dominant of the pack but he doesn’t flaunt it, rather he’s very patient   • Connor, on the other hand, is like a lump of sugar, the perfect boyfriend, he respects your spaces and your needs, what the other two lack he has it • while RK800-60 is the cuddliest alpha you’ve ever met, he needs you to constantly pay him attention to function • which, most of the time, irritates RK900 so it’s not a rare sight to see them growling and fighting for your touch • they put money together and buy a bed big to fit all four of you • cold nights are very fun, you get three snuggly warm androids all for yourself • summer’s nights are less fun, since the two RK800s overheat very frequently • yes, RK900 can and will smirk, because he has a very efficient coolant system and you automatically cling to him of course they are jealous • heats are not a problem, at all, they all hungrily look forward to them • ruts, instead, are very messy and rough, let’s just say that

[amethystunarmed]

Who Could Blame Him?

Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, implied Todoroki Shouto/Midoryia Izuku

Word Count: 1649

AO3 Link

Todoroki and Kirishima have an important talk about what happened.

Set after the summer camp attack. 

Part 1 Part 2 (You’re here) Part 3 

Kirishima was pretty sure the villain attack on their summer training camp was the worst night of his life. It felt unfair to say. Jirou and Hagakure were still unconscious in the emergency room. Tetsutetsu had been shot. Tokoyami had been taken over by his literal inner demon. Shoji had his goddamn arm ripped off. And Bakugou was…

Well.

All in all, Kirishima had it easy. He’d started the night with Aizawa and Kan. He’d nearly been blown up, sure, but he’d always been with others, always been protected. He’d been absolutely fine. But still, there’d been a moment.

The other students who’d been in the thick of fight returned and Kirishima had spotted Midoriya and Todoroki. They standing so closed their hands were nearly intertwined, Todoroki staring at Midoriya liked he’d pass out any minute. Midoriya had looked like he’d gone through a garbage disposal but Kirishima only saw the tear tracks down his cheeks. Todoroki was battered black and blue, residual ice still crusted in his hair, but Kirishima only saw the dead expression, the  wide, haunted eyes. And he remembered what that villain had said to Kan.

You’re so weak, you couldn’t even stop a criminal organization from abducting your students.

He’d run forward, despite Kaminari and Aizawa, in remarkably different tones, telling him to stay back. He’d run forward, deliriously tired from his god awful classes, pumped up to his eyeballs with adrenaline. He’d run forward, and he’d asked, whispered, shouted, he wasn’t sure, where’s Bakugou? And Midoriya’s face flooded with tears and Todoroki diligently studied the dirt and Kirishima had known. He’d known and his legs gave out and maybe he screamed, and that was it.

That was the moment he was sure he was dying.

And then Sero and Kaminari ran over and Sero hugged him until he stopped shaking and Kaminari counted breaths for him, until he couldn’t remember that only hours before he had still been a little mad at them, until the paramedics ran over and wrapped a blanket, until his body was no longer certain he was about to drop dead.

No, he wasn’t dying.

But Bakugou could be.

And so now, he was lying awake in his bed that was too big and too cold, with only that thought in his head.

It’s three am. His eyes hurt and he is starting to see colorful patterns float by when he stared at the ceiling too long. But when he closes his eyes, he sees Midoriya sobbing, smells the faint smoke and whiffs of sickly sweet gas. It’s unbearable. Kirishima is contemplating ripping his pillow apart with his bare hands, just for something to do, when his phone buzzes. What the fuck? Kirishima thinks with a frown. Who is texting me at three in the morning? He goes to pick it up, and pauses. Possibilities flood his head. Did they find Bakugou? Did he get free? Was his body dumped in an alley? Is it Bakugou himself, replying to the legion of unanswered texts he’d sent every time he felt like he was going to implode? Is he shouting at him, asking how dare he worry? Is he... grateful? Kirishima shakes his head. No, probably not that one. He grits his teeth. The pressure, the possibility of what could be on his phone was so monumental, Kirishima honestly considers just rolling over and pretending it didn’t happen.

Then it buzzes again.

“Fuck it,” he mutters, and grabs it. When he turns it over and reads who the messages were from, he nearly drops it in shock. 2 messages from Todoroki Shouto.

I hope you’re doing well after the attack. I’m sorry for what occurred.

Well, that’s vague. He texts like a goddamn dictionary, Kirishima thinks. He isn’t sure why he expected anything less. The next text had come in a minute later.

I just now realized the late hour. My apologies if I disturbed you.

Kirishima unlocks his phone. The second one is easy enough to reply to.

no worries i was already up

Sent.

and wtf you sorry for?

Todoroki responds immediately.

I was unable to protect Bakugou. I’m sorry.

Kirishima isn’t entirely sure what the fuck he was thinking, his hands reacted without his consent. He clicks through to Todoroki’s contact information, hits the call button, and the phone is at his ear. It rings four times before Todoroki answers. The connection clicks and before Todoroki could even say anything, Kirishima speaks.

“Dude, none of that shit was your fault, don’t even think about going down that path, okay?” There was silence on the other line.

“You called?” He sounds so surprised. Kirishima really hadn’t expect that to be his reaction.

“Uh, yeah?” He replies, for lack of a better thought.

“I… I haven’t…” Kirishima remembers the icy boy from the first few weeks of classes, before the sports festival. The decree that he wasn’t here to make friends. Kirishima had honest to God thought his personality was affected by his quirk, and he was just gonna be an ice cold bastard as a result. Then the festival happened. Yes, the Todoroki they knew now had thawed, but only after Midoriya’s strange and desperate pleas during their match. Even now, he remained on the fringes, and Kirishima had thought that had been by choice but now...

Has Todoroki ever had a friend call him?

Oh, we’re gonna be such good friends after this, Kirishima decides.

“No pressure,” he assures him, “If it stresses you out we can go back to texting.”

“No, this is… fine.” Well, at least Kirishima hadn’t scared him off.

“Okay, cool. But I still mean what I said. What happened to Bakugou isn’t your fault.”

“If I had convinced him to leave–”

Kirishima snorts. “Like anyone can make Bakugou do anything he doesn’t want to.” There’s silence again, but it’s different this time. Kirishima could nearly feel the words clink together as Todoroki strung them along like necklace beads.

“I should have grabbed him. I was a centimeter away. I’m the reason he’s not here.” He says it like an admission, a confession of his guilt. There’s jostling, like his hands are shaking. Though his voice was steady, he’s waiting to be yelled at, Kirishima is certain of it.

“I’m sorry,” Kirishima answers softly, “That really sucks.” Todoroki takes a shocked breath, but Kirishima keeps going. He ‘s firmer now. This feels important in a way he doesn’t quite understand, but nevertheless respects. “It’s fucking awful, everything that happened to you guys. It sucks that you had to watch him get taken. But it wasn’t. Your. Fault.” Kirishima stops and takes a shaky breath. Thank god Todoroki can’t see his face. “It feels like it though, huh. Which is probably why you’re still awake, yeah?”

“Part of it. I… I still see it, sometimes. I had a ni–” He cuts himself off. “Dream. And now…”

“I get it.” He would have to fall asleep for nightmares, but the point is similar enough. Kirishima figures it wouldn’t be good to mention that Todoroki’s stricken face is one of the things that haunts him. Then again, Kirishima did have a full blown meltdown at his feet so they were probably even.

“It must not be easy for you either,” Todoroki says in a tone neither self-deprecating nor pitying, and Kirishima appreciates it. His parents have been driving him crazy, looking at him with mournful eyes, like they expect him to crumble to pieces. Todoroki, on the other hand, just says it as an acknowledgment, which Kirishima had apparently greatly needed. “It was hard enough remembering how Midoriya looked when he met up with us, and I know where he is. I can’t imagine…” It’s a damn shame they’re having a serious conversation, because Kirishima absolutely would tease him about that little admission in another context. Instead, he is just reminded of the empty space in his bed.

“Yeah,” Kirishima says, and if his voice cracks, Todoroki doesn’t say anything about it. “Yeah.”

“Is that why you’re having trouble sleeping? Bakugou's absence?” It's a plain ask, without implications. Harmless, and Kirishima chuckles at it. It’s a wet sound, strangled. His throat tightens.

“You know about that?”

“The pictures are in the class groupchat.” Kirishima is well aware. He saved a copy to his phone.

“Yeah, obviously, but…” Kirishima trails off, because he honestly didn’t know what to call it. “The other part, I mean.” Todoroki thinks for a moment.

“It was obvious it was something the two of you did often,” he muses, “And Bakugou wouldn’t do something like that publicly unless he felt he had reason to, so, I figured…”

“You got it,” Kirishima sniffles. He furiously rubs his face on his sleeve, even though no one is here to see his tears. “Fuck.” The word has too much emotion in it, but still not enough. He feel like he’s drowning.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

Kirishima did get to laugh at that. He can’t believe he ever thought Todoroki was mean. It feels impossible. “Stop apologizing, man,” he chuckled, even as more tears fell. “I probably needed to get this out anyways. I just– Fuck, it’s so stupid, but I miss him. Like, it’s been two days, but I’m so used to him being here and I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get to stop missing him? If that makes any sense? Fuck…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Like I said, it’s stupid.”

“I think,” Todoroki says, with the care of studying a snowflake fractal, “that doesn’t sound stupid at all.”

And if Kirishima breaks down at that, can anyone really blame him?

Eventually he stops crying, and he and Todoroki share good nights. And though he acts it, he isn’t surprised to see him at the hospital the next day.

He’s even less surprised when they leave with a plan.

[obsessedauthorchan-blog]

Shakespearean - Chapter 14

Title: Desire

Jason was at Tim's place again. It was a Thursday, and Jason was helping Tim with his Shakespeare again. The class had moved on from Romeo and Juliet to Hamlet (apparently getting the most obvious, well-known, and cliché plays out of the way first). Tim had been utterly elated when Jason told him the play had actually been translated into Klingon, and he vowed to read it in that translation before the end of the week.

Jason was explaining to Tim the differences between the first quarto (the 'bad quarter') and the 1623 First Folio, when Tim suddenly interrupted him. "Yeah, um, while all of that is interesting, I'm going to venture a guess and say you've never seen a movie adaptation of Hamlet either."

Taken by surprise, Jason's mouth opened and closed a few times, giving him an interesting resemblance to a fish, before he retrieved his wits enough to answer, "No. No, I haven't."

Tim grinned and jumped up from his bed, getting his computer up and running to play, Jason assumed, Hamlet. Jason sighed in resignation, pretending he didn't know about the smile he was trying to hide. He was starting to think Tim liked watching movies with him as much as Jason liked watching them with Tim.

Just like last time, Tim left Jason in the room to go get snacks. He came back with his arms full, making him look even smaller than he already was. His incredibly pleased grin made Jason's heart melt on sight, and he inwardly groaned, remembering how hard of a time he'd had the previous week with paying attention to the movie and keeping his thoughts off of Tim.

Then again, Jason had been thinking about Tim all week, so he didn't really know why he would possibly expect it to be different now.

They curled up in their respective chairs with comfy blankets and Tim clicked play with his mouse. It wasn't long before Jason rolled his eyes. "Of course Mel Gibson is in it."

Tim nodded enthusiastically. "Helena Bonham Carter is Othelia."

"Ugh," was Jason's only reply, making Tim frown.

"I'm sorry, did you just say, 'ugh'? As in, you aren't insanely pleased by the cast of this movie?" Tim narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"No, no, they're fine."

"I don't believe you."                              

"Really! It's fine." Jason held up his hands in surrender.

Tim looked away from him, nose snootily held in the air. He turned back to the movie. "Uh huh. Sure."

Jason sighed. "It's just cliche. Mel Gibson is in all kinds of stuff like this. He's kind of known for it."

Tim rolled his eyes, but he did look at Jason again, so apparently he was worth his time again. "He's known for it because he's in it. He was in this movie when he was making a name for being in stuff like this. This was before Braveheart."

"Okay. That's fine. I already said it was fine. I'm not a movie buff, so it's not like I knew that."

Tim was about to continue arguing with him when he froze, his eyes kind of going a bit wide. "Jason, how many movies have you seen?"

Caught off guard by this new line of questioning, Jason shrugged. "I don't know. A couple dozen, maybe?"

Tim narrowed his eyes at him. "And when did you see your first movie?"

Swallowing a little nervously, he hesitated, not sure he really wanted to answer. "I saw a movie once when I was 9 or something. The librarian who taught me to read let me watch one on a computer. The next time I saw one was a year or so ago."

Tim stared at him for a second, completely expressionless, then he nodded and turned back to the computer. "Next week, I'm showing you Braveheart."

Jason wasn't sure how Tim knew that he'd never seen it, but he was grateful anyway. He was also grateful that Tim hadn't made a big deal about his lack of movie experience. He smiled and turned back to the movie, hoping he would manage to pay attention this time.

No such luck. Tim would randomly ask him a question about one thing or another and it would take him a moment to focus on the movie and figure out what the question was so he could figure out what the answer was. It was actually kind of exhausting, trying to stare at Tim without him knowing.

The famous soliloquy had just begun when Tim had another question. Instead of just asking like he usually had, Tim turned his whole head to look at Jason, unexpectedly making eye contact. His words died on his lips as he realized that Jason had been staring at him. "Jay? What're you-"

That stupid nickname. Jason blamed how much he loved hearing Tim call him that nickname for what he did next. Interrupting Tim's question, Jason darted forward and captured the younger man's lips in a kiss. His hand came up and cupped one of Tim's cheeks. At first, Tim seemed surprised (gee, I wonder why), but then he seemed really pleased with the kiss considering he returned it quite fervently.

What Jason had expected (in the very small part of his mind that knew he was going to do that) to be a very short kiss that immediately resulted in rejection turned out to be a very long, very heated, passionate makeout with Timothy Drake.

At some point during the kiss, Tim stood up out of the chair, trying to get a better angle. The kiss deepened, and Tim used his newfound leverage over Jason to stick his tongue in his mouth. Jason couldn't find it in him to complain, and he happily allowed his mouth to be explored for a while. Tim seemed to get bored with the status quo, however, and pulled on Jason's arm, prompting him to stand up, too. Deciding that he wanted a little bit more control than Tim had previously granted him, Jason reached down and grabbed Tim's hips, easily lifting him up. Tim wrapped his arms around his hips, and Jason moved his hands to cup Tim's ass, making holding him up a lot easier.

Thankful that Tim was so light, Jason turned and walked until Tim's back was against the wall, barely managing to be mindful of the desk next to them. Tim groaned when his back hit the wall, and he arched his chest forward into Jason's. Tim's arms, which had previously been snaked around Jason's neck, unwrapped and slip over his shoulders, his hands exploring Jason's considerable musculature. One of Jason's hands slipped up under Tim's shirt, exploring the contours of his abdomen. Tim moaned into Jason's mouth, sending vibrations over Jason's tongue. Jason separated their lips, swallowing as much saliva as he could and catching his breath.

Their foreheads leaned against each other, and their eyes were closed. Tim's hands were still slowly roving over Jason's back muscles, and he cleared his throat. Tim's head shifted against his, prompting him to look at him. They made eye contact, and Jason couldn't help but grin smugly at how debauched the younger man looked. Tim smiled back briefly and said one word. "Bed?"

Jason's smirk fell away in something akin to awe as he fervently nodded his head. "Fuck yes." He pulled Tim off the wall and moved to the bed, dropping him and letting him bounce once before crawling over him. Tim met him with a sweet smile and a sweeter kiss and Jason was pretty sure he was in heaven. Tim's hands tugged on his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, breaking their kiss for a moment. His hands ran over Jason's chest, and Tim bit his lip to cover a playful smirk as he pinched a very sensitive, very particular spot on Jason's pectoral. Jason growled in response and tugged off Tim's own shirt.

He looked down at the glorious body below him, trying not to let his imagination run wild at the thought of all he could do to him, when something made him pause. "Wait, Timmy, how old are you?"

Tim rolled his eyes and ground his hips up into Jason. "Seventeen. Almost eighteen. The age of consent in Gotham is 16, now would you get down here already."

Jason smirked and decided to tease him for a moment. "I don't know, Timmers, I'm nineteen, almost twenty, and I'm not sure how I feel about this." He leaned back down over Tim, arching his back to get as close to Tim as he could get without actually touching. Their faces were centimeters apart. "I might take advantage," he whispered.

Tim was barely coherent enough to scoff, obviously a bit overwhelmed with his lust and Jason's closeness. "I've wanted in your pants since the day we met. I doubt you could actually take anything I'm not already perfectly happy to give."

Jason, though utterly surprised at that little tidbit of information, didn’t relent. He dropped the teasing tone, becoming serious in an instant. "Tim, are you sure?" He wanted - no, he needed - to make sure that this was 100% consensual.

Tim sighed. "Yes, I'm sure, Jay. Why did you think I asked you for help with Shakespeare?"

"Because you suck at it and you didn't want to mess up your 4.0."

Rolling his eyes, Tim leaned up and gave him another long, sweet kiss. "Yes, Jay, but we could have done tutoring at the library instead of in my room with the door shut.”

Jason’s jaw dropped a little as he realized what a little mastermind Tim actually was. Apparently he'd been quiet to long, because Tim's face had sort of fallen. "Jason?"

He couldn't reply, didn't know how to. He knew he didn't want to stop, he knew he wanted this thing with Tim to continue, to be more, but for some reason he couldn’t make himself move.

"Jason."

He was wrapping his head around it all, going back to last week to try and remember if Tim had looked disappointed when he'd gotten out of the car without even a kiss. He hadn't seemed like it, had seemed pretty happy, actually, he was even smiling, and-

"Jason!"

Jason tried to tell Tim what was going on in his head, tried to tell him how he felt or give him a kiss, but he was still frozen in place. It was actually starting to freak him out.

"JASON!"

 Jason jerked to a sitting position, his eyes popping open and his mouth opening in a startled gasp. He looked around himself to see that he was still sitting in his chair by the desk, Tim was in the chair next to him and the computer on the desk was rolling credits. Jason swallowed and looked wide-eyed at Tim. "What the hell just happened?"

Tim cracked up. "You fell asleep. I think it was just before the soliloquy."

Jason was internally panicking now that he realized that he'd just had a dream about almost banging Tim. While in the same room as Tim. He gulped, really hoping it hadn't shown. "Crap. Did I snore?"

Tim was still chuckling, and he shook his head. "No, but you did drool a lot." He started laughing even harder at Jason's expression.

"Oh shit!" Jason looked down to see he'd gotten a fair amount of slobber on both his shirt and the upholstery on Tim's chair. He tried to dry some of it up with the hem of his shirt, raising it up enough to show his stomach. "Man, I'm so sorry."

Tim calmed down a little and waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, Jay. It was kind of cute."

Apparently Tim realized what he said around the same Jason did, because when he looked up he saw that Tim's ears were pink and he wouldn't look Jason in the eye. "Uh," Tim said, standing up and moving back to the bed. "Did you have a nice dream?"

It was that moment that Jason realized he had some wood in his pants. Dropping his shirt, he cleared his throat, hoping his mental panic wasn't showing on the outside. "I don't really remember," he lied. "Did I say anything?" He was really glad he'd chosen to wear looser jeans and a longer T-shirt.

"No. Why, do you normally?" 

"I don't know, Timbers, I'm not usually awake to notice."

Tim laughed again, and Jason figured he was probably in the clear.

A/N 18 year old me is facepalming and wondering why 17 year old me actually wrote this, omg it’s so bad! A dream, guys! I wrote a really, really cliché dream about the first kiss like a frigging amateur *dies in the Pit of Despair* Heaven help me

[newtinalover]

About Johnny Depp in Fantastic Beasts and what does this mean for me

Well, there is some time I want to comment about the case Johnny Depp in Fantastic Beasts and after these statements by David Yates and JK Rowling, I would first like to share this Claire Willett thread @clairewillett on twitter: https://twitter.com/clairewillett/status/938890109893591040

We all know the story of The Publishing House That Harry Potter Built, how everyone passed on her manuscript until Scholastic said "sure, what the hell, we'll buy it," and then she like singlehandedly turned the ship around with all those sweet sweet Potterbucks. Amazing.

I want to love J.K. Rowling. I truly love the Harry Potter books.  I truly love the world she created.  I truly believe that those books have transformed our culture in some ways that are really positive.  I am a proud Ravenclaw and Hermione Granger is my Patronus. 

But.

I've been trying to put my finger on what it is that makes me feel so disappointed in Rowling's words and behavior of late - not just the Depp thing, but also the Navajo skinwalkers thing from last year with Ilvermorny - and I think I've finally figured it out.

As a writer, I found her origin story so inspiring. She was a broke single mom on public assistance and, as Lin-Manuel Miranda says, she wrote her way out of her circumstances. The art of storytelling changed her life. That's beautiful to me.

So the story of J.K. Rowling the author is the story of someone who was given public assistance by the government, and was given a chance to succeed by a publishing house who believed in her. She was helped when she needed help. That's how she became who she became.

And the story that made her famous is the story of a kid in terrible circumstances - abuse, neglect, loneliness, danger, grief - who is helped when he needed help, and is willing to sacrifice for others.

I believe that the J.K. Rowling who first wrote those books espoused the values that the books stand for. But now she is the most recognizable author in the entire world and is a kabillionaire and suddenly I am no longer sure if her values are the same.

The Ilvermorny debacle was the first moment where I began to really see the defensiveness of Wealthy White Feminism seep into the way Rowling responded to critique of her work. There were so many better ways to handle it and she swung and missed SO BADLY.

See, and here's a place where as a writer I am fully 100% in sympathy with her, Rowling is now completely boxed in by the Potterverse. She's reached a level of fame where this is the only thing the world is ever going to let her write from now on.  Even if it's time to stop.

If she tries to write ANYTHING ELSE, even under an assumed name like she  did with "The Casual Vacancy," she'll get outed and it gets held up next to the Potterverse books anyway.  She can't escape it. So I get the desire to find a way to broaden the world.

What she SHOULD have done, in deciding that she wanted to expand the Potterverse to explore other cultures, is either A) partner with writers FROM those cultures to create and flesh out the backstory, or B) at MINIMUM do a fuckton more research into them than she did.

So when she released the story of Ilvermorny on Pottermore and everyone was like "girl no you cannot use things that are SACRED to Native culture like that," it was clear that no Native folks had been consulted by the white British lady about how this would make them feel.

It is . . . not difficult to imagine how Native peoples might feel like the rich white British lady showing up to appropriate stories and symbols she doesn't understand for her own personal financial gain might be, um . . . you know, an unpleasantly familiar sensation.

So, okay. There's backlash. People are frustrated. The old J.K. Rowling, who built a fantastical wizarding world on the framework of a set of progressive values that champion diversity? You'd think she would have heard that and listened, right? Maybe apologized? Yeah, no.

That's because the Potterverse is no longer just the story she poured out from her heart in that tiny apartment in the few hours she could carve out while her kids were sleeping, the story that saved her and turned her life around. Now it is a multi-million dollar business.

Which brings us back to the Johnny Depp question, and why her response today was so enormously frustrating.

The thing that is very very important to understand about writers whose books are made into movies or TV shows is that they have control over casting, writing, story structure and production approximately nothing percent of the time.  There are incredibly few exceptions.

People like Diana Gabaldon and George R.R. Martin are given a lot of creative control, compared to other writers, in the making of their shows, because they were big-ass stars already and they have agents who would have demanded that before signing anything.

But the vast majority of writers, when they're lucky enough to sell the rights to something, have no ability to affect the outcome after that.   Which includes casting.  99.99% of writers who find a problematic actor cast in their book's movie are stuck with him.

But the exception to this rule is people exactly like J.K. Rowling, and that's why I'm angry at her.

Rowling is a producer on the Potter movies.  Rowling has arguably more creative control over the film versions of her books than any other writer who has ever lived. If she wanted Johnny Depp out, she could have made it happen.  She did not.

Let's recall that the old Rowling, the one writing the first Potter book by hand on legal pads in her public assistance apartment, the brave and creative scrapper whose love for these characters saved her and kept her going, wrote a hero who ESCAPES A LIFE OF ABUSE.

Harry lives with a family that abuses, mistreats and neglects him, and then gaslights him about that abuse until it's all he knows and understands and he can't imagine a better life, but he's saved by people who tell him "you deserve better than this."

What makes it possible for Harry to return to the Dursleys' house every summer between school terms and no longer suffer psychological harm from their abuse is that now he understands that that treatment was not normal and not something he somehow deserved.

There are also too many incidents to count throughout all seven books where a major plot point hinges on a character saying "this is a terrible thing that happened to me" and whether or not they are believed about their own story: ´´Did that thing REALLY happen? Did you REALLY see the thing you thought you saw? Does such a being REALLY exist? Is Voldemort REALLY back? Is that REALLY true? That sounds implausible. I know that guy, he can't be a Death Eater. He comes from such a respectable family...´´

You see where I'm going here, yes?

The old J.K. Rowling we all fell in love with built a world where BELIEVING PEOPLE WHEN THEY TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM, EVEN IF IT IS IMPLAUSIBLE OR TERRIFYING, is the most important thing you can do.

But the current J.K. Rowling is the CEO of a massive multinational corporation built on the backs of that story she first wrote by hand back before she had any wealth or power, and Johnny Depp is an actor who has been proven to be able to anchor a film franchise. So.

It was frustrating enough when she was merely silent.  Today's statement is so much worse than saying nothing.

Today's statement achieved the following things: --it confirmed that she would, in fact, have had the power to do something about casting Depp in that movie if she had chosen to exercise it, and that he continues to remain in this franchise with her enthusiastic consent.

--it confirmed that she had all the same information the rest of us had about Amber Heard's story and her allegations of abuse, including all the documentation and testimony from other witnesses, at an early enough point that there would have been time to recast.

--it gave us vague assurances that she did some degree of due diligence in looking into the story to assess whether or not it was true, but offered no specifics of any kind.   --it explained away that lack of specifics with some handwaving about confidentiality clauses.

--it declared that she, J.K. Rowling, now possessed information she was not at liberty to share which essentially exonerates poor Johnny Depp from these mean and unfair accusations of wrongdoing, and suggests that we should take her word at face value.

"I looked into it and I can't tell you what I found out but rest assured, Johnny Depp is innocent and we all love him and that gold digger Amber Heard made it all up" is so much worse than "no comment."   It's so, so, so much worse.

This is EXACTLY the kind of privileged white feminism we saw with Lena Dunham's statement last month: "yes, I believe women, I'm a feminist, I trust women when they come forward about their abuse .... unless I'm friends with the guy, then she's lying."

This is what you say when you've built your brand on being a progressive feminist and you want people to believe you still are - YOU want to believe you still are - but now there are huge amounts of money at stake and suddenly things are a lot more complicated.

Believe me, I get that she's in a tricky position.  It is easy to stick by your principles when it costs you nothing.  It is harder when big things are at stake.  I don't know what's in Depp's contract, or in hers. I can't fathom how much money we're talking about here.

But this is why this whole situation is so fucking depressing. 

Because J.K. Rowling is not the Harry Potter of her own life story anymore.

She's no longer the scrappy underdog who came from a world of no privilege and always took the side of the powerless. She's like one of those dudes from the Ministry of Magic who was too scared to take a stand because they didn't want to lose their comfortable position.

And it's so sad.  I'm so much more sad than angry.  I mean I'm angry too, but my overwhelming feeling is " . . . oh. okay. so as soon as you have a shitload of money you're just like every other rich person in the world."

It would have been so easy for her to release a statement that basically said "I stand by my values, I believe women, I believe abuse victims, I am the person you always believed me to be, but here are the limits of my authorial control on films."

But instead she confirmed that SHE HAD A CHOICE, SHE HAD THE POWER, SHE HAD THE ABILITY TO DO THE THING THAT A HEROIC PERSON WOULD DO and instead of being Hermione Granger she was like . . . Cornelius goddamn Fudge.

This is what White Feminism looks like. It means you stand with other women when you look good doing so (like roasting Trump on Twitter, which costs her nothing), but you won't stick your neck out and use your unfathomable privilege if it might negatively impact you.

For the life of me I don't know why she's doubling down on Johnny Depp, when Hollywood is full of dudes who would fall all over themselves to headline a Rowling film franchise and who have never abused anyone in their lives. But she is.

So, that's where we are. She's made her choice. She's said her piece. She's not the woman we wanted her to be.  I'd like to believe that she once was that person.  I'd like to keep believing in the woman who first sat down to write that story. But who knows.

I am not personally invested in the "Fantastic Beasts" 'verse, and haven't seen the first movie, though someday I probably will. There are good questions to be asked about boycotting vs. not boycotting. I think that's a personal decision, tbh.

I don't think it is morally bad or wrong to see these movies because Johnny Depp is in them.  I think if this story means something to you, you shouldn't let this take that away from you.  I think we're allowed to enjoy things that are problematic, as long as we're aware.

Go see it if you want to see it. Don't feel guilty for enjoying it. Don't apologize for loving the story. The story belongs to you. The world belongs to you. If you love it, it gets to be yours. But if @jk_rowling disappointed you today, let her know why.

Having said that, I would like to add just a few things about my vision of whoever accompanies the magical universe of Harry Potter there, no less than 16 years:

When I knew that this world would return to theaters in 2016, I was absurdly happy, since I had felt ''orphan an HP' 'since 2011, when the last film was released. I've always considered myself a feminist and sympathetic to the cause of marginalized groups, so imagine the impact when I knew that Johnny Depp would be in the franchise that not only taught me about these exact values ​​of empathy and love, but I grew up seeing JKR campaigning for these causes too. In a way, she was one of my biggest mirrors.

But until then, honestly, I've never been to follow JD's career, so I knew, by all accounts, about his case of aggression against his ex-wife Amber Heard. When I heard that he was in FB, I soon learned more about it. It should be considered that the information is inaccurate in this respect, but what we have in hand is that:

1) There is a historical legacy that shows us the oppression that women suffer, on a world scale. No matter how much a woman says that she has suffered any kind of aggression, if her word is questioned by a man, she will, in the vast majority of cases, go out as a lying prostitute, or as a mercenary, or as someone who only wants destroy the career of the 'innocent' man.

2) In everything I research about AH and JD, that's exactly what caught my attention: how much people are struggling to invalidate her word, even she PROVING that the assaults happened.

3) Yes, Evidences! First let's talk about the much-discussed video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdmB2zoaiu4

Some claim that he was out of control, that he hit objects but that at no time does he hit him. If this is not concrete proof of an emotional uncontrolled that certainly falls into psychological and then physical aggressions (remember that domestic violence follows a cycle that begins with psychological violence that goes up to the physical), I do not know what else it can to mean. If I am close to a person uncontrolled in this way, even if she did not attack me, I would certainly be terrified.

´´Oh! But Amber certainly provoked him! He was drunk! Surely if he had been sober he would not have done it!´´

This is the most ridiculous excuse of all and it resembles when they try to blame the victim of a rapist because she was wearing "short clothes". It's also similar to when Kevin Spacey tried to justify his crime by saying that '' I did not remember, I was certainly drunk ''.

Some people also say that the video was edited and the man who appears there actually was not JD. I'm sorry, it's ridiculous too.

4) ´´But AH withdrew the accusations! So JD is innocent!´´

Oh really? Are you so blind so you can not see that she did it out of sheer pressure from all sides? We have recently discovered the rotten side of Hollywood, whose victims are mostly what? That's right, women! So it is more than obvious that Amber was pressured to withdraw the accusations through a series of agreements, such as those made explicit here: http://mashable.com/2016/08/16/johnny-depp-amber-heard-divorce-statement/#rz12DBHO3OqR

In the part that says:  "Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm." For me it is more than clear that JD himself assumes to have attacked Amber, you who do not want to accept.

5) '' Amber is an aggressor too! She hit your ex girlfriend! ''

As if that justified what JD did ... but come on: http://ego.globo.com/famosos/noticia/2016/06/tasya-van-ree-nega-que-ex-amber-heard-seja-violenta-diz-site.html

Tasya issued a statement defending the ex and would have told TMZ sources that Amber's domestic violence arrest would be ridiculous because she was never violent. Besides, Tasya and Amber remain good friends. If the aggression were true, the logic would be that Tasya kept away from Amber, would not it? And even if the aggression had happened, that would not erase the feat of JD

6) "But we must separate the staff from the professional! JD is a great actor! ''

Oh really? If you hired a gardener to work in your home, and later knew that when he comes home he hits the woman, would you continue to use his services quietly? If your answer is yes, forgive me, but you have a dubious character. Men are already privileged in a macho society just because they are men, imagine then a white and rich man.

7) '' Amber is a slut who just wanted to take money from him! ''

Honey, she's an actress, she's also rich. She does not need it. Oh, and for your information, all the money she got from the JD deal was donated to institutions that help victims of domestic violence. Your stupid argument falls.

8) '' Okay, the aggression may be real but that's no reason to boycott! We should not boycott and support JKR and the other actors that are in play ''

Okay, I agree in parts. In fact, the rest of the cast is not to blame for this whole situation. Do you think I'm happy to know that most likely I will not see my beautiful girl Katherine Waterston playing Tina Goldstein so beautifully? Am I happy not to see Eddie as fantastic as Newt? Am I happy not to see my beautiful Newtina couple getting together (and probably kissing) finally? That I will not see Jude Law as my dear Dumbledore ???

It's exactly this immense sadness that I carry after these statements that leads me to the imminent decision not to follow the Fantastic Beasts franchise. Everything JKR taught through Potter stories (which - he was a victim of abuse) falls to the ground when they not only hire someone like Johnny Depp, but put him as the protagonist! It's so contradictory and disappointing! 

I repeat: 16 years are loving and admiring a woman who today decided to simply say: 'Yes, we know that fans are not 100% satisfied with JD in our cast but we do not care, we want more visibility and, of course, money' '

After JKR's statement, an immense disgust swept over me and I said goodbye to the franchise, emphasizing, more than ever, my eternal love for Katherine Waterston and the ship Newtina, which were my greatest gifts from the first film. 

I remembered the farewell scene between Newt and Tina and I cried. I know they are not to blame, but JKR taught me: "The time will come when we will have to choose between what is right and what is easy.”

I make the right choice, according to my values ​​and principles, even though it hurts me. I decided not to follow the FB franchise anymore, and I would like to be respected in that regard. No, I AM NOT LESS HP FAN BY CAUSE OF THIS! I had the displeasure to read that those who boycot FB are not really fans. GET OUT OF YOUR CASUAL! YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN NOBODY TO SAY THESE STUPID THINGS!

Respect my decision and my pain! Respect my decision to follow what my heart asks for at this moment! JKR is no longer the same woman who wrote the HP series to get away from her abusive reality, she has changed! Now she is a millionaire (thanks to us who consume her material, by the way) and obviously want to win more for it. I reiterate that I will continue, with all my might, loving Katherine and Newtina, accompanying future works of Katherine and the other cast members, but I keep only that of the woman who once inspired and loved me so much.

If one day you read this, JK Rowling, I wish you to be very happy, know that your story inspired me and changed my life in many aspects, but today you no longer have my support and I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you never go through abuse again so that you need to prove that you are speaking the truth, like as happened to Amber, and it happens to all of us, every moment.

PS: Sorry if there are any terrible errors in writing, but I'm Brazilian and not accustomed to English.

Eloany Homobono.

[autumn-in-phandom]

“Did Dan get TOO TAN?”

(Sept 19th 2017 Dan liveshow timestamps)  

0:03 After an awkward pause and salute: “Hello cyber friends” (instant regret and reflection)

0:29 (Dear god, don’t grab your laptop by the screen like that Dan.)

0:44 Grimace #1

1:06 No Dan, you do not look *atol* different. That tweet, title and pic are all just clickbait.

1:10 (Bronze my ass.)

1:19 Hitting us with that meme.

1:25 (Didn’t need to be in your face thanks. Teasing angles?)

1:36 “Never say Trumpy ever again, in any circumstance.”

1:45 Lovely pores and freckles.

2:00 Obviously everyone subscribes to YouTubers for their freckle content.

2:30 Livestreams are “a mistake” because of the chat clinging on to one thing and spamming it.

2:40 No probing or questioning at airport, big grin.

3:01 “The broadband is terrible but the 4G is great.” Okay…

3:17 “The toasty Dan experience”, orangish filter.

3:26 Double rhyme: “I guess that’s a rhyme, yeah that’s fine” (okay it’s a slant rhyme)

3:47 “Buttered crumpet Daniel.”

4:02 “Went to an island in the Mediterranean.” (This is exactly the answer I expected and quite frankly the only one he should give.)

4:09 “Literally did nothing for about six days, it was great.”

4:15 ‘I am Pilgrim’ book recommended by his mum.

4:30 Tricked into reading 900 page book.

5:00 Holiday was incredibly relaxing.

5:10 “Ordeal” getting there, delayed flight, three hours “traumatizing”

5:22 “Haha long boye” “literally, shins driving into my chest, bleeding” alright hyperbolic humor Dan. “Tough.”

5:38 “Violated” on flight by guy’s elbows, “no respect for personal space”, “fully leaning into me”, “didn’t even care”, “honestly an icon for all of us.” (Was it Phil?)

6:03 3 am, old driver, mini bus, cliff roads, did pre-ritual preparing for death.

7:00 “So much yogurt”, doesn’t know why.

7:05 “Assaggetti” tweet, we can shame him, “has the worst sense of humor in the world”, check it out and unsubscribe, doesn’t remember the language (Italian), apologizes, “constantly problematic”.

7:55 “Got that D from the S up above” (vitamin D, or Phil…)

8:16 Phil came on the holiday in case anyone didn’t know.

8:18 “He went from like glass to pale ivory, which is good”, “Phil is someome who erupts in freckles whenever he goes outside, so it’s hard to tell if he tans or if your eyes are just kinda like drawing the dots between the space all the freckles are, if you know what I’m saying.” (Wow, I… I’d like to think you mean what I know, but I’m not sure. Wow.)

8:37 Someone in the chat: “Nice Ursa Major on that cheek boy”. Turn, pose, laugh.

8:41 “The Bigger Dipper of my self esteem.”

8:53 Good day: watched Bake Off and answered emails, “thrilling”.

9:13 Tumblr likes, fan art, “beautiful to celebrate the great people.”

9:43 “The internet is not here”, laughs, sighs, apologizes.

9:55 Some peer pressure advice.

10:25 Had to check what his video title is.

10:35 I don’t know why he bothers to ask if we watched either.

10:55 Accept that he does things by his British calendar.

11:11 Why he didn’t he talk about uni stories when it was happening. Ashamed? Yeah, processing turmoil at the time.

11:55 Now shares traumatizing, terrifying, shameful, embarrassing stories straight away.

12:15 Rowing club guy AU… (not what I was thinking)

12:46 Laundry story: Phil was nice, Dan didn’t ask, *literally* ordered a cab, turned up with suitcase, Phil assumed he dropped out and was moving in, “I’ve had a day and I’m going to wash my socks in your washing machine.”

13:13 “If you struggle to function as a person-” (I really wish he had finished this sentence)

13:15 Asda sponsor for crying in the cheese aisle?

13:23 Pasta burn shaming (were you just never in the kitchen with your mum Dan?)

13:36 Dropping laptop so much recently.

14:00 Never taught cooking, laundry, accounting.

14:18 “No one told me shit!” (in Dan’s face again).

14:33 “What happens when I’m 23?! How do I do a tax?!”

14:54 It was ravioli (pretty sure the instructions mentioned water Dan…)

15:15 Thick as in stupid, not thicc fat booty.

15:30 “Look Fatima, we all have different life experiences, okay?” (lol)

15:36 “Ravioli ravioli, give me the death I deserveioli.” Relates.

15:45 Rihanna livestream, forehead fetishist? Wouldn’t mind if anyone leaves for that.  

16:08 Not up on BTS, DNA.

16:33 Shames Eden for “let me see that pastussy” comment, “leave.”

16:45 “Love on the Brain”. He really loves Rihanna, amazing, blessing, doesn’t give a shit, casual, informal, etc. “Bitch Better Have My Money.”

17:25 Is sure BTS video with be “pure and beautiful”, expects “softly applied eyeshadow and very fluffy hair”, he’s sure he’ll enjoy.

17:38 Maybe new gaming video/livestream tomorrow.

17:45 Overcooked, ironic kitchen fire, foreshadowing.

18:08 Wasn’t sure if he should get into Chinese guy story again, but he has to.

18:13 Deep breath: “It was 4 am, I’d been you know, well hydrated that evening, but I decided I needed another drink” go into the kitchen, everyone else was asleep, guy had a whole chicken, with neck and feet, fine but surprising, tiniest pair of white y-fronts, hacked head off and made eye contact, just couldn’t, usually would awaken some kink in him…

19:39 Pool pic, shout out to friend, no consent, relaxing, absorbing sun like a lizard, *basking*, fell asleep, lucky it was a pool and he didn’t drift out to sea, sun stroke vid reference, “the bad tan”.

21:08 People saying “trying to be cute”, the double chins (really?!)

21:21 The least Dan-like photo.

21:33 Thought it would ruin his Instagram aesthetic.

22:10 Lack of other content: relaxing, reading,

22:24 Took a couple other photos, sunset selfie, “no one’s going to take a photo of me” (what the hell happened to your personal photographer?) but then people came (please post, please!)

23:40 Bake off is his life, “Noel Feilding is a national treasure”, caramel was torture while hungry, faves are Liam and not!Val (what did he whisper about Liam? Really wanted him to be…?)

24:30 *Maybe* Halloween Baking, they don’t think that far ahead about anything.

24:48 Phil’s role in Dan’s video, mugging scene took nine takes, afraid to punch him. Outtakes please!

26:03 (grimace #2) “Hello Grandma, my name is Daniel, I’m a wholesome person, that’s a very great influence”

26:16 Wachowski films

26:23 Dan floating in donut plushies would be very challenging.

26:33 Dan flips a bit at the idea that’s it’s weird to like people who don’t know who you are. Uses Ed Sheeran as example.

26:55 Scrolls past person who said they feel better when they have a dream about Dan and Phil.

27:17 Cared more about YouTube than university socializing and class, Pom Bear Massacre reference, made Tumblr account.

29:09 Chapped lips, season changed the moment he stepped off the plane.

29:42 “Okay Universe, I know I can be a bit of a downer, sometimes.”

29:51 Haley Barry Storm powers

30:08 Yes the furry blanket comes out, polyester, sad pimp, Marks & Spencer.

31:06 Ready for everything seasonal, autumnal Yankee Candle range, not haute, but fun themes.

31:31 Frisbee laptop across the room on to the bed, missed.

31:46 Candle haul, yes it is content we need right now!

32:26 Furry invasion on Splatoon, scaley, yiffing proposition, “this is a family game”, not shaming just concerned for kids, though it is hentai-esque…

33:27 Sonic: 2010 reminiscing, formatting of boxes.

34:04 Was stupid side kick, Phil being good, Dan trying to be helpful, actual just a cheerleader, Phil was disgusting, doesn’t know if Phil even knew what he was saying (of course he did).

34:38 Didn’t know uni vid was trending

34:52 Reflection (I think that’s the piano nook)

35:00 Weird because of swearing, someone at YT didn’t watch the vid, “Ah, keep doing that, don’t watch my videos, just know that I’m a good person…”

35:25 “I make great friendly content.” (grimace #3)

35:30 Explains why trending isn’t automatic. Yes, think of the children.

36:05 “But hey, I’m not bad, everything’s fine”.

36:45 “People of all genders do and don’t wear makeup”.

37:10 (I’m pretty sure that the no candles with birds is because of the fumes.)

37:25 What is with the nose touching when confirming Spooky Week? “Next video (nose touch) soon, don’t worry”…?

38:28 “Fans of everything are annoying, that’s just what happens when people are enthusiastic about stuff.”

39:19 Dan doesn’t get annoyed by different fandoms. Says more about the people being annoyed, part of their own insecurity, their lack of community, togetherness, celebration, shared experiences, jealous or sad, or maybe everyone just everyone’s annoying.

39:56 Dream Daddy: so dangerous saying Dilddy. Dan likes Damien, great taste, immaculate presentation, probably not Dilddy’s romantic soulmate.

40:31 Dan is in like ten fandoms (makes a face).

40:45 Chat: “Will Phil become a furry, what’s your fursona?” Dan: “Is it time to go?”

40:55 Has never thought about it, promises he’ll get on it soon, he knows what the internet wants from him.

41:31 Chat full of fursona suggestions. He’s going to start crying.

41:52 “A llama fucking hell.” “Look at the time.”

42:01 Going to go into a (not disturbing) hole later looking into axoltl fur suits.

42:24 Elf on a shelf meme, was going to post a Dan one, “old meme!” (Still don’t need to be up in your face Daniel.)

43:27 Really wants to go see IT, needs to see Mother.

44:04 Shut up! American Horror Story, makes him happy. Loves Sarah Paulson (is his life), feels represented by a lesbian with anxiety. Evan Peters is great, looks gross, or great depending.

45:25 His fursona should be a big bear, I agree. What a reaction.

45:46 Left comb on holiday, looks like a bush.

46:13 (grimace #4 at group chat names.)

46:20 “What is wrong with all of you?”

46:22 Glosses over diet ask. Indeed.

46:26 “Don’t call me Uncle Dan when we’re talking about fursonas.”

46:36 “If you live in Australia vote for marriage equality, we don’t need to have this conversation.” “Come on, come on Australia, sort your shit out.”

47:03 Going to “innocently Google things that are fine”.

47:22 “Me and Phil would love to come to Russia”.

47:27 Limitations of TATINOF.

47:44 Watch uni vid: “Don’t take it too seriously. Remember that most of the time I’m just trying to be funny, and if you ever want like my real feelings or opinions, just think about whatever the opposite of what I’m saying is, and that’s usually how to get to the sincere heart of whatever Dan’s talking about.”

48:13 “Stay calm, ask some senpais for some life advice and think carefully about what your fursona should be.”