#yeah this rules.. made for me

[marypickfords]

Actually Happened! Most Terrifying Psychic Phenomena (Jun Tsugita, 2004)

[haharuspex]

shout out to, like, 5 other people in the entire dragon age community who main aeducans + kill their stupid ass brother trian

anyway my floki aeducan :) she's an ass a rogue and a bastard (literally)

[kitkat578]

sharing my ace rhys agenda via mspaint

colored by @shinakazami1 thanks cupcake

[dykedvonte]

Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.

It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.

[turtleblogatlast]

Also hey I wanna say too that pretty much every single headcanon ever is valid. Even if they aren’t popular, even if they go against canon, even if they change on the regular and make for a throughly transformative work.

I think fandom is supposed to be fun and honestly it just acts like a toybox of sorts? With all these malleable characters as action figures that you play with as you like. If you wanna make them bigger or smaller or change their species or what they present as or how they sound or even act - you can! You can and you should!

Have fun, because you’ll inevitably find others who like what you do too. And even if you don’t, as long as you like it, then that’s what matters.

[skrunksthatwunk]

man. y'know that scene where little hiei realizes the bandits are afraid of him bc he kept killing them? how he thought it was fine because they were killing others and he thought they understood, that their system of might makes right would be consistent no matter his actions, until all at once the only family he's ever had shuts him out for doing what he thought would help him fit in? for doing what he thought they wanted from him, at least to some extent? sigh. heartbreaking levels of autism in this small faggot

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

Something rubbed against his leg beneath the table. Jon saw red eyes staring up at him. “Hungry again?” he asked. There was still half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out to tear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let the carcass slide to the floor between his legs. Ghost ripped into it in savage silence. His brothers and sisters had not been permitted to bring their wolves to the banquet, but there were more curs than Jon could count at this end of the hall, and no one had said a word about his pup. He told himself he was fortunate in that too. His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely, cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolf devour the chicken. Dogs moved between the tables, trailing after the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yellow eyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench to get a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal. Jon grinned and reached under the table to ruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently at his hand, then went back to eating.

Jon I, AGOT

It's interesting that GRRM would dedicate several paragraphs to a seemingly unimportant exchange between a boy, his wolf, and an unfriendly third party. But there's just something about this passage that has continued to nag at me for years since I first read it because, considering how heavy handed GRRM was with the foreshadowing in AGOT, this feels important.

Jon is sitting at table full of squires - aka would be knights. We don't really know who they are or what families they belong to, but it's safe to assume that they come from a certain level of privilege; this is considering the fact that it cannot be financially easy to be a squire. And these boys already have a slew of tales detailing all their previous knightly exploits regarding "battle and bedding and the hunt" which suggests that they have some capital. So you have boys who will soon be men. And they will, presumably, become men of some power.

These lads eat their fill of the chicken until only half remains, which Jon then gives to Ghost. The direwolf's name is not so important here but what he represents is. Throughout the series, we're told that Ghost is reminiscent of the weirwood trees (because of his red eyes and white fur). He's stated to be of and from the Old Gods and since he's a personification of the weirwoods, he might as well be one of them. It's almost as if Jon is presenting whatever is left on the table to the Old Gods (Ghost). He lets them devour his offerings while he silently watches. And the motif of watching is so interesting here because it's kind of like Jon takes on a stewardship role - to watch over land/people/etc. He oversees Ghost eating the chicken, so he's overseeing whatever has been given to the Old Gods. This is not new imagery to his arc. As a brother of the Night's Watch and eventually its leader, we have several instances where he leads people to adopting the Old Gods in some fashion. In ADWD, several recruits swear their vows to the Old Gods while he watches on as their Lord Commander. The Old Gods are also primarily of the North and we're told that Jon has more of the north in him than his brothers; interesting that this also includes Bran. So perhaps whatever is being offered to the Old Gods relates to the North.

We must also note that Jon initially thinks to give only a small portion, a leg, before pivoting and providing the entire thing. It feels to me a bit like the process of carving up a kingdom or something similar. The lords (represented by the squires) take what they want and leave aside what they don't; or perhaps they have eaten to their fill and can take no more. Then when his time comes, Jon first considers a small piece of land/group of people before eventually absorbing all of whatever is left behind. The concept of carving up a kingdom rings harder considering that we have several callbacks to the ideals of kingship in this chapter. Robert, Jaime, Tyrion, and even Mance though we don't know it yet, all play into this. And then there's the aspect of Jon letting the chicken slip between his legs which evokes birth/fatherhood, a very curious choice when GRRM could've just had Jon place the chicken on the floor. So land/people are carved up and Jon then uses whatever is left to birth his own type of kingdom. And this kingdom is one for the Old Gods.

This also touches on something that has been quite prevalent throughout Jon's arc. It's the concept of accepting the "others" or "those left over" who live apart from the accepted social norms. Arya (a tomboy), Sam (a gender non-confirming boy), the Night's Watch (criminals, extra sons, and men who have no future left or place to go), and even the wildlings are all examples of this. And Jon takes on a leadership/paternal role to every single one of them. He looks after them as a leader would/should. Sometimes, in the case of Arya and the wildlings, he's equated to a king. He's a steward/shepherd/king. There's messianic undertones to this:

Come unto me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

If you're familiar with Judeo-Christian tradition, you'll know that Jesus is often personified as one who spent the majority his time among the outcasts. The idea is that he came to save them too and that anew kingdom (or new earth depending on your translation) would spring up after the end of the world where he would forever rule as king; which presents the idea of a final king after the earthly ones are done away with. Now GRRM isn't so heavy handed with Christian allusions as other authors out there, but he does have a Catholic background and Jon is so overtly a Jesus figure. And in Revelation, Jesus is king and god at the very end....

One last thing: the mention of the mongrel who challenges Jon has always been rather interesting but confusing to me. A mongrel doesn't really relate to one specific type of dog. But it's interesting that Jon notes several roaming about where he is. They follow the serving girls who carry the food to be offered. Mongrels are used to describe antagonist/villainous groups in ASOIAF. Sometimes, they're used to describe slavers in Essos. But what's interesting is that most of the time, they're used to describe Euron's Ironborn especially in Victorian's POV. So I don't think the mongrel who challenges Ghost is a supernatural threat of death (i.e., the Others) but rather a human one. They represent those who are called to the scene once the lords have finished playing their games. It almost feels like a feast for (carrion) crows....

But it doesn't really matter because this mongrel isn't much of a challenge for Ghost. Though the mongrel is much larger, the direwolf is able to fend her off very effortlessly. Given that "mongrel" is used to describe Ironborn raiders, could this exchange between Ghost and the mongrel point to reavers or sea raiders who rise and fail challenge Jon kingdom? There is a historical King Jon Stark who did this....

When sea raiders landed in the east, Jon drove them out and built a castle, the Wolf's Den, at the mouth of the White Knife, so as to be able to defend the mouth of the river.[1][2] His son, Rickard, followed him on the throne and annexed the Neck to the north.

ref.

So this might shed some light not only on Jon's already published arc, but also on what we can expect in the future. We have some foreshadowing through Jon's ADWD dream that he will not only rise with the dawn (thereby live through the Long Night), but will be in a position to lead people (wildings in that chapter) to a new peace after a hard fought war. Also remember that the wildlings, rather enthusiastically, swear oaths to him as if swearing oaths to their king. In this instance, the supernatural (a dream of the war for the dawn) is followed by the natural/human. So perhaps this particular passage (and Jon's dream) can be used to predict that Jon comes out on top, and quite effortlessly too, as a leader. And he becomes a leader who rules by association with the Old Gods; or rules a kingdom for them.

To end, I think it's of note that this passage immediately precedes Jon's conversation with Benjen where he voices his desire to go out on his own - the hero's call to action. This is the adventure that's going to kickstart his growth as a man, warrior and most importantly, a leader. So it looks like before we even began, GRRM telegraphed how it would all end in just three short paragraphs.

[lord-squiggletits]

i know i’m late to the conversation—i just watched the movie this month—but i feel compelled to say this because i was genuinely shocked (still am) to see that the overwhelming takeaway for many viewers was the "d-16/megatron was right" bs. while it’s understandable to sympathize with his anger and grief, justifying his actions in the end or framing them as entirely right feels so deeply misguided. what surprised me even more was the tendency to shift the blame on orion/optimus, as though he was solely responsible for d-16’s downfall. it’s disheartening to see orion/optimus being villainized so much. his efforts to reason with d-16 came from a place of desperation and hope, as he tried to prevent the escalation of violence. at that point, d-16 had already begun to spiral into his unchecked rage, disregarding the safety of those around him. to see that nuance overlooked, with orion being faulted for a situation that was far beyond his control (the whole "don't be like sentinel" thing is often used to shit on op lol), is genuinely baffling.

while i love that the movie showed the tragedy of d-16’s arc and even empathize with his situation, painting his actions as justified—and vilifying orion/optimus in the process—feels like a misreading of the movie’s core message. sorry but i was so happy to see your post about the movie, it was tiring to see so many 'megatron was right about this and that' comments.

Oh man if you're new to this fandom, you really ought to know that this place is full of people who glorify terrorism and war in the name of "justified revolution" and it doesn't really matter what Dee/Megatron does or how horrible/over-the-top it is, he's oppressed or he's mentally ill or he's just plain upset which means that everything he does is justified and questioning him makes you evil.

It's so funny because I hoped for sure that a continuity where both OP and Megatron were working class individuals before the war would reduce this kind of shit take (compare to something like archivist/librarian OP and gladiator Megs in TFP or CBV, or cop OP and miner Megs in IDW1), but unfortunately this fandom literally still found a way to blame Orion for everything even though he suffered the exact same things Dee did..... and furthermore Orion literally was the rebel challenging the system compared to Dee who wanted to keep his head low and not cause trouble so honestly at this point I just think the fandom (and somehow new fans whose first exposure to TF is this movie) purely sides with Megatron on everything as either a knee-jerk reaction or some misguided attempt at being counterculture and intelligent.

People get sooooo mad when you tell them that unbridled rage and killing everyone who disagrees with you isn't a good social/political strategy, but then again this is a problem that is universal to humanity and not just the Transformers fandom. It's just a shame that so many people looked at a movie that blatantly spells out what the moral of the story is, and has all of the protagonists be working class oppressed people fighting against a tyrannical system, and their takeaway from it is still basically "fascism is okay if you're mad enough about it and if your friends try to stop you it's a sign that they're centrist liberals who think punching Nazis makes you as bad as a Nazi." It's childish black-and-white thinking masquerading as critical literary analysis.

And at this point people pretty much just don't give a shit about Orion/Optimus and will find a way to make him the villain no matter what the context is, no matter if he also has feelings or if he also deserves to be respected/listened to/validated as Megatron's long-time (possibly lifelong) friend. If ppl look at the way Dee treated Orion and their other friends and DON'T see what was concerning about that then there's really no saving them until they deradicalize a little and learn what usually happens when "kill all the bad people until society is a utopia" is implemented as a governing party's primary strategy.

[nevertheless-moving]

The Demon of Yunmeng Part Four

Part One — Part Three

“…What.”

“I want your permission to ask Wen Ning to help me at the trial — I swear if either of you doesn’t want to then I’ll figure out something else, but the only plan I can think of that might work is if I pretend to be a cutsleeve, and, ah, I think I mentioned that I’m not super popular with my old friends right now, so he’s kindof my only option."

He peeked his head up and grinned his best, most charming smile, but Wen Qing just closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

“That,” she said. “Is a terrible plan.”

“I admit it’s not my best.” he sat back on his heels, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But bear with me! If I can just create enough doubt that maybe the stories aren’t true, then the women might confess that they’re being bribed or threatened or that now they see me up close they can’t be sure it was actually me who attacked, you know? Yu Xiang said she couldn’t see anything, so, well…there’s a chance that people will believe it, isn’t there?”

His tone started to edge on desperation the longer she looked at him with a pinched expression. “People love to believe crazy stuff about me!" he said, throwing his hands in the air. "You have to have guessed there’s all sorts of rumors about why I actually helped you, this is just — shifting those around a little."

She stared at him longer.

“Three quarters of the cultivators are just going to be there for entertainment,” he said, even more defensively, “Once people latch on to a story that's scandalous or interesting — 'The Demon of Yunmeng turns out to be a cutsleeve' — come on, it could work!”

“Wei Wuxian,” she said slowly. “Even if everyone immediately accepts that the two of you are passionately in love, there is absolutely no way on Earth that it will make you look like less of a degenerate predator. You do realize that, right?”

“Of course it would!” he argued, offended.

“My brother stutters. His cultivation is low. He is permanently disabled.”

“He could punch through a boulder with that brace I made him,” he said petulantly.

“If he didn’t care about moving the next week, sure. That’s not the point. " She made a frustrated noise, waving her arm sharply. "It’s about the image. You and I both very well know that my brother has a spine of iron. He lied to the core melting hand himself to save a stranger. He stood up to Jin Zixun, despite being in chains and half beaten to death. None of that matters — he looks like a victim. He is currently famous in the cultivation world for being a victim. He would just make you seem even worse — someone else you’d taken advantage of.”

“I…okay, but he’s still a man. No one would question that.”

“Are you serious right now? You do know people can have sex with men and women, right? There’s not a hard and fast rule that it’s only ever one or the other.”

Wei Wuxian boggled in her direction. “That… that doesn’t sound right. Are you sure? Both? I’ve never heard — no one’s ever even hinted that…”

“Ancestors be kind,” she said, pressing her palms to her eyes. “This is actually your plan. This is actually why you rode all the way here.”

“I’ve never heard of someone liking both,” he said defensively.

“And how much do you actually talk about cutsleeve sex with your friends?" Wen Qing said, condescending. "Your friends who won’t associate with you anymore?”

“…Has anyone ever told you that you can be very mean sometimes?”

“Yes. And yes I am sure. And no, it’s not a secret. I can probably find a fucking woodcutting or spring book,  if you want proof. While I’m sure some people share your… understanding, there will be plenty who will see this as extra evidence of your endless depraved lust."

He gave up on kneeling properly, sprawling out on the floor.

“If I’m not cut into pieces until I die or being hunted by thousands of cultivator this time next month then I would love to trade porn with you,” he said glumly. “That actually sounds really fun, why haven’t we done that before? I bet there’s all sorts of weird stuff written down as ‘medically recommended dual cultivation.’”

She exhaled heavily. “Maybe…maybe your plan could work if you found someone else, and claimed to exclusively want to be the receiving partner? Your face is probably thick enough for that, and it would have a similar 'why would anyone claim it if it wasn't true' justification as the accusations against you.”

He rolled over, propping his chin up on his hands to look at her.

“Receiving?” He asked. “What like, the guy who, um, takes the other guy in his mouth?” he felt his face heat a little. She was a doctor, and also Wen Qing, a woman who had already seen him more naked than most people ever physically get, but she was still a woman, and it was starting to feel a little weird to talk about this stuff with her.

He powered through. Clearly she knew things he didn’t. “Isn’t that a little unfair? Wouldn’t you, I don’t know, take turns? In the spring books between men and women it always seems unfair when there’s just one person doing all the work.”

Somehow, the look on her face grew even more condescending. “Your plan was to pretend to be a rabbit — possibly for the rest of your life — and you don’t even know how two men have sex?”

“My life has gone in unexpected directions since the last time I went shopping for pornography,” he said, sarcasm coming out with slightly more bite then he intended. He coughed. “Look, If that’s not what you mean then…”

“Anally," Wen Qing said impatiently. “I was referring to sex between men in which one party's penis goes into the other’s anus — I’m struggling to understand how you’ve never heard of this — isn’t it a common wartime joke? A sixteen year old cries after killing someone so everyone says they might as well bend over for a real man ?”

“Ooohhh…that’s what that…” A few overheard conversations clicked into place. He felt it wasn't entirely his fault he had been mostly left out of friendly fireside chats during the sunshot campaign.

“But —“ he struggled to imagine it, resisting the urge to reach into his trousers and check the size of his own asshole. “There’s no way anything like that could possibly fit. You’ve got to be messing with me, or someone was messing with you.”

“When I first started my medical cultivation training,” she said, eyes unfocusing slightly, “My Shizun sat me down and told me that being a doctor would involve a lot less finding a magical perfect herb and saving the day then you would expect, and a lot more pulling objects out of unlikely places. And if I wasn’t prepared to deal with that, I should probably quit.”

“And—“

“And she was right. It’s a muscle. It can stretch like any other muscle.” She paused. “Certain salves and oils are highly advisable. And cleaning yourself before and after is very important.”

“Wow,” Wei Wuxian said wonderingly. “You learn something new every day. I guess it’s got to feel good, right? If people are shoving…” he looked at her questioningly.

She grimaced. “Bottles and jars are popular, and also a terrible idea. I knew a doctor who actually lost someone to infection that way— they clenched down and the shards—“

“Ugh,” he winced.

“Yes. Vegetables are… generally acceptable."

"Vegetables?" Wei Wuxian said, delighted.

"—But it can be dangerous if something gets lost, so it's important to have a firm grip — I know there are certain merchants who deal in replica male genitalia specifically, with flared bases —“

 “Those I’ve seen, but I always figured they were for women!” He barked out a laugh then groaned. “Damn, I really am ignorant. I probably wouldn’t have been able to pull this off, even if it was good idea.”

“It’s not your worst plan,” she offered. 

“Thanks.”

“Really,” she said thoughtfully. “It… could work, maybe — with a different man, who could match you in terms of power.”

He didn’t bother saying that there were few men who met that description, and he lacked any other friends who would do such a thing for him anyway. Instead, he let his head fall from his hands, pressing his face to the floorboards with a groan.

Several moments of silence passed before being interrupted by a knock at the door. He didn’t bother getting up as Wen Qing sighed, then stepped past him.

He heard the door open. “Ah, Lan Er Gongzi,” she said. “Please, come in — allow me to prepare more tea.”

Wei Wuxian swore softly to himself, then shifted as casually as possible to a slightly more graceful side sprawl, propping his head up on his hands as Lan Wangji’s perfectly white robes and perfectly black boots came into view.

“Lan Zhan,” he said, lifting his gaze up the perfectly upright body to finally meet startlingly golden eyes.

Wei Wuxian's greeting smile was slightly more reserved than what he had given Wen Qing earlier. They had never spoken of the rumors while they were growing — the Lan sect of course prohibited gossip. But things had grown from gossip to outright accusation at this point…

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji replied. His expression was as hard to read as ever, but there was some emotion there. Anger, maybe?

The sour feeling returned to Wei Wuxian’s stomach. Of course, as much as it had felt like their relationship was improving, of course Lan Zhan would be all to prepared to believe the worst of a Demonic Cultivator.

He stood up. “If you’re sure to protect Wen Gongzi’s virtue,” he said bitterly. “You have nothing to fear. She could paralyze me with needles before I had a chance to do anything… unseemly.”

Lan Wanjii’s brow furrowed. “Wei Ying.” he said. “Do not speak unchastely of others.”

Wei Wuxian snorted. It was such a Lan Zhan reply. “Relax, I’m going, you won’t have to —“

“You’re not going anywhere,” Wen Qing said tersely. “Now sit down in a chair like a normal person.”

He looked at her in betrayal. “I won’t leave town,” he said. “I was just going to go visit with Popo, until your guest had departed. Unless of course he’s concerned for her as well—“

“Sit,” she ordered.

He sat down.

“Lan-er gongzi,” she said, far more politely. “If you would join us.”

Lan Wangii also sat down.

Wei Wuxian pointedly did not look in his direction.

"Wuxian," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just ask him."

He startled. Surely she didn't mean...

"Ask him what you asked me when you came in," she ordered.

He really didn't want to. But he had to know, so he swallowed hard, forcing himself to face his greater detractor head on. Golden eyes burned as they often did. Lan Wangji couldn't do anything without doing so with one hundred percent effort — that included looking at someone.

"Do you believe it?" Wei Wuxian finally blurted out. "The rumors about me? The accusations? The... the thing they're holding a whole fucking conference about."

Lan Zhan stared at him.

"No," he finally said, after a pause that felt longer than it was.

Wei Wuxian tried to ignore the immediate sense of relief and gratitude that washed over him. He surely didn't care that much about the opinion of Lan Zhan, a man who had never offered him a hint of warmth in his life?

The relief immediately slipped into suspicion. "Why not?" he demanded. "Aren't you always calling me an irredeemably evil demonic cultivator?"

The space between Lan Wangji's eyebrow folded in. "No."

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. "Fine, aren't you always calling me a currently evil, actively choosing not be redeemed demonic cultivator?"

"Never called you evil."

"Wha — what the fuck, are you splitting hairs right now? Wicked, unrighteous, you know what I —"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupted, definitely looking angry now. "I have not. Your path is wicked."

"I..." his eyes started burning, and anger welled up alongside. "What's the fucking —"

A cup slammed down on the table front of him.

"No yelling in my office," Wen Qing said.

"Wen Qing —"

"Drink your tea and let Hunguang-Jun say his piece. Actually, both of you drink your tea, then Lan Wangji talks, then Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian looked at the other man, expecting him to protest being ordered around, or at least to silently frown and then not comply, but he just nodded, and reached for the cup, face mostly smooth again.

Wei Wuxian huffed, then drank the tea. It was annoyingly good.

When both of their cups were empty (fuck Lan Zhan is taking his time). He leaned back disrespectfully, hopefully masking the nerves thrumming through his body, staring at Lan Zhan with an expression that was probably failing to come across as bored.

Lan Wangji took a breath, then rotated slightly in his seat, such that he was at an equal partial angle to both Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing.

"I do not believe the accusations. Wei Ying would not do such things. He may use wicked tricks, he may lose sight of the righteous path. But he has always pursued justice, ultimately."

He paused, but Wei Ying didn't try to interject. His heart was thrumming too hard in his chest, and there was a rushing sound in his ears.

Lan Wangji continued. "Furthermore, the final night of the wedding feasting, there were Jin attendants, filling his cups specifically. He grew inebriated faster than I thought normal, though at the time I attributed it to the strength of the wine. I later learned the feasting wine was not particularly strong, leading me to suspect he was served something different. When he began losing consciousness, a cultivator I did not recognize made to escort him away. I did not trust this, so I intervened, escorting Wei Ying to his rooms myself. I made sure he properly warded the room from intrusion, after which he immediately collapsed. I do not believe he was in a state to commit heinous deeds, even if he had wanted to. Furthermore, when I exited his chambers there were servants lingering unnecessarily. They left without sufficient explanation when I confronted them. I suspected a plot against him, perhaps an attempt to steal the Ying Tiger Talley, but not what happened."

He paused, turning to look Wei Wuxian in the eyes. "I am sorry. I should have spoken sooner. My clan insisted I not interfere during the chaos of that morning. I will speak at the inquiry."

It was the most Wei Wuxian had heard him say at one time outside of a nighthunt or military report, and there was no question in his mind he had prepared each word as meticulously.

At some point during the speech Wei Wuxian's body had started leaning in his direction. He swallowed hard, sitting up. "You... Lan Zhan, you really are too good, you know that?"

Lan Wangji looked down. "I did not believe the rumors even before that," he said quietly. "I swear, Wei Ying, I did not."

"Well," Wen Qing said, startling Wei Wuxian, who had somewhat forgotten she was there. "This works out perfectly! You have the ideal candidate to help with your plan, one with a dedication to helping Yu Guniang get justice, who is already wholly convinced of your innocence."

"Very funny," Wei Wuxian said through gritted teeth. "So glad you're able to make jokes about this now."

"Plan?" Lan Wangji asked, because of course he would.

Wei Wuxian pressed two fingers to his forehead, unable to believe that Wen Qing had even brought up his foolish and embarrassing idea in front of the second Jade of Lan.

"Just one of my wicked tricks intended to bring about a righteous end," he said, suddenly exhausted. "Nothing you would ever involve yourself. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway."

Lan Wangji continued to stare at him.

"Really! Setting aside the lying and scandalous nature, it's a bad plan — we were talking about how stupid my idea was before you came in, I swear."

"It would be stupid to try with my brother," Wen Qing corrected. "If Hunguang-Jun took his place... it actually might have a chance of being believed."

"Yes," he snapped. "Because Hunguang-Jun is known for not lying, something the plan relies heavily on!"

"Wei Ying. What plan?"

"Forget it, Lan Zhan!"

"Wei Ying—"

"I said it's a stupid idea and you wouldn't agree to it anyway!" His voice has gotten overly sharp, but he couldn't help it. "It's not worth wasting any more words on, and if I'm the one saying that, you know it must be true!"

"If you really don't want to ask Lan er-Gongzi for help," Wen Qing cut in, interrupting Lan Zhan's extremely loud glare, "We could discuss the idea I thought you were coming to ask my assistance with."

The Demon of Yunmeng whipped his head her direction. "Qing-jie!" he cried. "Why didn't you say you had a better plan than mine!"

"Because I don't. My plan is also very bad, and I don't want any part in it, it's just what I thought you would come up with. I underestimated your creativity once again."

"Do you want me to flatter you? We both know that any ideas that come from your brain are bound to be better than what comes from my resentful-energy clouded mind!"

"Wuxian, you really won't like my idea." She was smirking. She clearly thought she had something on him.

"Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg for your help? You know I have no face to lose in front of you!" He glanced at Lan Zhan, who's face had mostly smoothed out, only missing a small wrinkle above his nose.

"You might want to leave," Wei Wuxian whispered, winking. "I wasn't joking about getting undignified." The wrinkle deepened, brow once again fully furrowed.

"Very well," Wen Qing sighed. "If you really are that unwilling to even ask Lan Wangji — possibly the only man who's reputation is good enough to cancel out your terrible one — then we can discuss the other option."

Wei Wuxian leaned toward her eagerly. "Which is..."

"Castration."

He felt the blood leave his face. "What was that?" he asked weakly. "I think I might have misheard you."

"Well, if you were missing the equipment necessary to impregnate Yu Xiang," she said, face completely serious, "Then there would hardly be much to discuss, would there now? A skilled cultivator could probably heal such a.... wound to make it seem questionable when it had occurred. All you would have to do would drop your pants at the trial and claim it had occurred when you were captured by Wen at the start of the war."

A glance over at the other man in the room revealed he looked, if not horrified by most people's measure, certainly distressed by Lan standards. His eyes were slightly wider, the brow wrinkle deeper. His hands were clenching the chair seat.

Wei Wuxian laughed nervously, resisting the urge to protectively cradle the parts being discussed. "If you would allow me a moment to get back to you, Wen-Guniang."

He didn't wait for her to answer, instead slipping to the floor to kneel beside Lan Wangji, who looked at him with what might have been bewilderment, but was probably just mild annoyance. Wei Wuxian pretended it was distress on his behalf.

"Hunguang-Jun," he pleaded, clutching at cloud-embroidered robes. "Lan Wangji. Lan Zhan. Will you please pretend to be my longtime cutsleeve cultivation partner in front of the entire Jianghu?"

"Yes."

"Lan Er-Gongzi," he begged. "At least take a moment to hear —" he blinked, brain catching up to his ears. "Wait, did you say yes?"

"Yes."

"...What."

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[shepscapades]

hi shep i just do need you to know your rythna art Has made me worse on this day thank you

Just for you <3

[koka-mi]

Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 23: Hand Holding

“The more I held hands with Halara…the more tired I became…”

Prompt based on yet another fic of mine.

[moonyspetwolf]

Okay so I’ve seen like 20 videos on tiktok of people saying they have no idea how exy is played so I’m gonna make a post about how I understand the rules. I’m not really an athlete but I know a bit about sports and I also coincidentally went to the same school that PSU is based on

(I haven’t read the books in like 5 years so if I’m wrong about something feel free to correct me)

First thing, exy is played inside, not outside. The game can’t work in an outdoor stadium and I’ll explain why in a minute. The stadium is like a combination basketball court and hockey rink. Wood flooring and plexiglass walls surrounding the court. There are two goals on each end.

Okay so the lineup. From what I remember there’s 4 positions you can play on an exy team: dealer, backliner, striker, and goalie.

Backliner is pretty straightforward just classic defense. They protect the goal and focus on the other team’s strikers. I think it’s similar to basketball where they’re assigned a mark (opposing striker) who they have to cover during the game. That doesn’t mean they’re not free to move or check other strikers either, but basically they try to stop the other team from scoring any goals. I’m not sure if it’s against the rules for them to make an attempt on a goal or not.

Strikers are similarly straightforward. They’re straight offense. Their job is to get as many goals as possible. They work against the opposing team’s backliner and shoot at the goal

The dealer is the most confusing position but I think they basically control possession of the ball, so I think their job is to get the ball from the other team and make sure it gets to their strikers. At the start of the game or after any breaks they’re the ones who deal the ball and try to pass to their teammates. Idk if they operate similar to backliners or not, like checking, tackling, etc.

The goalie is the same as any other sport- their job is to protect the goal. Goalies have special racket that are bigger and heavier than other players. They also wear special padding to protect them since they’re constantly getting exy balls chucked at them and often have to use parts of their body to block them.

(Side note: if exy balls are anything like lacrosse balls they seriously hurt to get hit with. They’re dense and heavy, when they work up enough speed it feels like getting hit by a slightly bouncy cannon ball)

From what I can remember, at any given time there are two backliners, two strikers, one dealer, and one goalie on the court for each team. Players are subbed in and out as needed (I might be remembering the numbers wrong, maybe they have 3 backliners at a time idk)

Exy is a high contact sport similar to lacrosse, so players are free to use physical force against each other. They can check, tackle, and basically do whatever it takes to get the ball. Just like in hockey, players often get into fights. Excessive use of violence can get them flagged by referees, but it’s by no means a gentle sport. Players go into it with the expectation of getting thrown around and bruised.

Players wear padding and helmets to protect themselves, but bruises, sprains, concussions, and broken bones aren’t uncommon within the sport.

There are some basic rules for how the game is played. Exy is kinda like lacrosse in that players pass the ball back and forth with their raquets. I don’t know a lot about all the rules of lacrosse but I know exy has a rule about possession that’s similar to basketball. In basketball a player has to dribble the ball while they’re moving, if they hold it in their hands without dribbling for too many steps it’s called traveling and it’s a foul. Exy is the same, a player can only be in possession of the ball for 10 (?) steps before they have to pass it. If they carry it farther than that it’s traveling (idk if there’s a special term for it in exy speak). There are ways for players to get around this. They can either pass the ball to a teammate after they’ve taken their 10 steps OR they can rebound it off a wall, catch it in their racquet, and keep moving. This is the reason exy has to be played inside and not outside, so that the players can use the walls. If it’s played outside they can’t rebound the ball and they have to rely strictly on passing back and forth, which isn’t always possible especially if a player is being heavily guarded. I’m not positive if this possession rule applies to all players or only strikers, but it would make sense for it to be all players.

I can’t remember if the books say anything about who is allowed to shoot at the goal. Obviously strikers can but I can’t remember if there are any rules saying backliners, dealers, and goalies can’t score points

The game is played in 2 halves, a total of 4 quarters. I’m not sure if the book ever says how long each quarter is but it’s probably safe to assume each is 15 minutes, so a total of 1 hour playing time. However with timeouts, breaks, penalty time and other interruptions games usually last far longer.

The foxes are a unique team because they’re much smaller than pretty much any other team in the league. They only have 9 players by the end of the year, so they can’t sub players in and out as easily. Most teams have upwards of 18 people so the players are usually on court for a much shorter time and have more time to rest between playing time. In the foxes vs. Trojans game, USC decided to play with the same size roster as the foxes meaning they rarely got to sub out players, which is why they were so exhausted by the end. Throwing yourself around a huge court at top speed for an hour is tiring.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, I’m not an expert and it’s been a while since I’ve read the books but I think exy is a pretty cool sport :)

[redladydeath]

Got any fluff for your au? maybe hcs?

Vox and Sir Pentious end up being pretty good friends in RAM. Pentious was NOT anticipating this at all, since the information he was given about the situation before going in was so grim, but he finds himself actually having fun with Vox and enjoying his company more often than not. It's also a bit of an ego booster for him that the former leader of the Vees thinks he's interesting and funny and competent. Vox helps him with his inventions and Pentious becomes the go-to person to help keep Vox on track when he needs to fix things around the hotel. It's honestly a surprisingly sweet little friendship.

I don't know how Vox would react when Pentious is killed by Adam.

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what

[druidx]

what do you mean, there isn't a comprehensive dictionary I can google for a conlang I made up?