#yeah this makes sense!!
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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to sadomasochistically torture fictional characters
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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a show doesn't necessarily have to be ABOUT queerness to BE a queer show. it's a cultural dialect that cishets don't quite speak.
edit: i gotta clarify that the shows do indeed still have to have actual queer characters in them to count
#our flag means death#and yeah i'll say#the owl house#not just in the fact they are stuffed to the brim with queer characters#or their stories of self-transformation into who you truly are#or even that they're about outsiders finding community amongst each other#though those things certainly factor#it's that the queerness cannot be disentangled from the story without costing complexity#luz has to be neurodivergent and queer. if she wasn't the story would be about someone else#am i making sense? is this microphone on?#a couple others of note are#killing eve#renegade nell#and star trek#which cannot be made straight despite best efforts#conversely heartstopper and first kill are not queer. but that's another essay.
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@///_bsd_edits on Instagram gave me the idea to draw that based on one Ueda and Kimisawa interaction
The thing ^
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#sab posting#ueda is Chuuya's stageplay actor#makes sense#kimisawa is Fitzgerald's stageplay actor#i love that guy but it just didn't fit the thing yeah so we made this about the stinkers again#who would've thought#add dazai making “wroom wroom” sounds in the background because i forgot#anyway#just soukoku being silly kids#i need them to be childish and have fun like kids should#aughhhhhh
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reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.
#not that anyone but me probably needs to hear this but…#it’s OKAY to have Big Feelings about popular things#they’re popular for a reason - it makes sense to have a big reaction#but yeah - i should really know by now but i’m STILL floored every time i read or watch a classic and it Gets Me#like. this story has been Getting people for decades or centuries or MILLENNIA and yet STILL i’m surprised#‘i didn’t think the story would Get me’ says man about story that’s Gotten everyone who’s ever heard it
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Sketches weehee
Re: how does Xavier even see out of that helmet
Be my mirror my sword and shield ig
#xmen#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#I really don’t know which name should I go by magneto you’re such an annoying guy#if it doesn’t make sense yeah it’s kind of intended
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?
jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies
#just two dumb bitches telling each other /exaaaaactly/#that scene is boo is so funny because it fully treats it as if Percy can read Jason's thoughts the way the reader can#because from Jason's pov it's Percy saying that he thinks deserves to die as a punishment for doing something so terrible#and then Jason THINKS about times when he also felt helpless and wanted to give up and die#and he's literally sympathizing with Percy#but VERBALLY Jason's like: no that's not crazy that makes sense#so now think of this convo from Percy's pov#Percy: I'm a horrible person who deserves to die#Jason: Yeah that makes sense#and then Percy GOES QUIET#it literally reads like Jason affirms Percy's worst thoughts alkfjalkdjflskdjg#its sooo fucking funny in the worst way#pjo#percy jackson#jason grace#mine
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Al doodles sans jacket
#he’s such a comfort character#and YEAH I KNOW about the atrocities but have u considered fluffy deer#he’s like my hatsune miku if that makes sense#anyway#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods
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i think one of the reasons glass onion is so fun is that it just... loves the audience back.
so many popular movies and shows these days thrive on a sort of bitter engagement with their fans - where the fans are dismissed as being stupid, annoying, and needlessly angry. we are constantly positioned as being less intelligent as the writers.
so much of "spoiler-free" movie-making relies on writers getting away with one twist in their work, regardless of if that twist was earned. the work doesn't actually have any rewatch value or interesting writing - because they think "good writing" is about "pulling one over" on the audience. they don't focus on making interesting characters or storylines or good endings - they focus on fooling you. glass onion, meanwhile, has faith that the audience has figured the ending out, and that we'll watch anyway, because we love the characters.
so many adaptions of older works... kind of seem to hate the original work. they're done without passion. they're done almost as if checking off a box. so many of them openly mock the audience for enjoying the original, almost directly telling us that we are fools for ever having loved something.
but glass onion. loves the audience. it knows that many of the people watching are mystery-lovers. it is an homage that feels love towards the original works it references. it knows we also love those works; and instead of trying to disparage those works, it allows us to celebrate them.
one of my favorite things about it - and maybe why i found it so satisfying - is that this movie isn't trying to tell you it's the smartest, bestest, most-clever detective story. instead, it asks itself what is satisfying and exciting for the audience? and actually gives us that payoff. it's bright, colorful, and fucking fun.
just... more of this please. i'm very bored of nihilism and grittiness and "shock value" writing. put the love back in. let us love unironically. have your work say i love you too. thank you for sharing this story.
#is this bc i keep thinking about bbc sherlock and how we were all done dirty?#yeah :/#does this make sense?#i know there are other examples of movies like this that love the audience but i just#was inspired by this particular example#since it COULD have been a 'gritty version of a thing u love'
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What uh. What's the frog story 👀
back when i was in second grade, my elementary school organised a school market with every class selling their crafts for charity. the contribution of my class were hand-sized ceramic frogs we made in art class. each one of us made one of them to be sold for five euros a piece (this is important later). the quality of the frog i made varies drastically based on who is telling the story, and for reasons that will become very apparent later there is no way to check, but i stand by the fact that it was average looking, if a bit wonky.
the day of the market arrived, and all frogs were bought within minutes, snatched up by enthusiastic and proud parents. all except - mine. because my mother hates spending money on unnecessary things, and she hates children's crafts even more. so she - loudly and vehemently - refused, in her thick eastern european accent, to "spend five euros on an ugly frog".
i will never forget seeing my ceramic frog alone on the slightly wet cardboard, surrounded by the imprints left behind by the already sold frogs. all the while other parents are getting more and more agitated, trying to get my mother to put the frog out of its misery. eventually, she budged, and spend five euros on a wonky frog. she was absolutely furious about this.
so furious, in fact, that when we came home to where my father was remodelling the kitchen, she WALLED IT IN. that's right. she cask of amadillo'd that poor ceramic fool. put him into the open wall and slapped concrete over it faster than my poor seven year old self or my dad could protest. out of pure anger over loosing five euros. and that's where it remains, until this day.
my mom hates when this story is brought up, which is why we bring it up all the time. she also thinks she what she did was right, because "do the other parents know where the frog is? no. only your creation is safe. because i love you." morally, i would disagree, but on a pure factual basis, she has a point.
i made her another ceramic frog for her last brithday, which was not buried like some pharaoh, and everytime guests compliment it my brother loudly goes "oh you should see the other frog he made" and when they ask to see it, he points at the wall. this is hilarious to him and infuriating for my mother. and that's the frog story.
#my mom is insane but she loves us to be very clear#everyone who i tell this story irl goes oh yeah. that makes sense.#it is my thesis statement.
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"Can it run DOOM?" - boring, of course it can run DOOM, I've seen everything run DOOM from a knitted blanket to a pregnancy test to DNA
"Can it be used to recreate Bad Apple?" - exciting, imaginative, ALWAYS blows me away with the execution, an eternal banger, I am never expecting it and I am always pleasantly surprised to see Bad Apple in a new medium
#doom#touhou#yeah idk what to tag this#or if it makes any sense#or if its anything at all#5am posts are like that#going back to bed goodnight#i don't actually think running doom is boring but i couldn't#figure out how to format yhis thought
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!
Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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treasure planet au, last of the batch (Poppy & Floyd)
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls au#trolls poppy#trolls floyd#trolls viva#trolls branch#treasure planet au#these two gave me a bit of a struggle lol#both drawing and deciding their places in this au#so... yeah!! here they are!!#Poppy as first mate!!#well sorta she's still in training#ik she'd make a great Ben haha but i really really wanted them to still be sisters!! and teen poppy would be the cutest!!#She's the biggest divergence this au takes from the og movie#edit: forgot to add that poppy does NOt fall into the black hole#lolol sorry for the scare#oh and also floyds here but also isn't#floyd's not present in this entire voyage rather his absence haunts#he's busy being bottled anyway#he lowkey takes Jim's dad's place#sorry floyd fans (gen)#but floyd was also very sweet big bro before he left so it also made sense for him to take sarah's intro scene.#as you guys can tell being pretty loosey gossey on which troll goes to which tp scene#again thank you guys for your input and ideas!! they're a great help!#so much empty space...#trolls fanart#my art <3#excuse the messiness
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