#yeah this is main tag worthy I think
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
When Dr. Vicedomini brings up how Jacks biological father is still alive when trying to convince him that he doesn’t have FFI, it’s very telling to me that Jacks first response is that of course. Bad people who deserve to die always continue to live. It definitely says something about what Jack thinks about himself that Jack thinks good people always die early and bad people outlive them. He describes his father as a hurricane that hurts people, do you think he thinks of himself in the same way. How many of his fathers traits both physical and in character do you think Jack recognizes in himself.
#tftgs#tales from the gas station#gas station jack#yeah this is main tag worthy I think#jack tftgs#txt
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry im a god gale truther btw i DO think he should get to usurp mystra and ascend to godhood and i do think that should be an absolutely awful thing to happen to him but also literally everyone else. sorry
#bg3#not main tagging this further bc its. mad man 1:30am rambles#but listen. mh.#ok so. heres the thing.#while i do think. their relationship was absolutely fucked. and yeah we can argue for grooming and or abuse.#i also dont QUITE enjoy how ppl make gale like. the poor poor totally blameless victim. like. mh#how to phrase this so it DOESNT sound victim blame-y. but like.#from how i interpret the things he told & what the game shows.#my mans REALLY struggles with No's and rejection. and i wouldn't just put that as a Mystra Aftermath Thing#he WAS forbidden from trying to ascend/was told by her she wouldnt make him an equal. and his response basically was.#'but let me prove i am worthy of this'#which yeah. plays into the fucked up self worth. ill get back to that.#plus the uh. touch the orb scene? he just. grabs your hand and pulls it towards him because he WANTS to show you this. Now.#any rejection within the relationship? I Should Blow Myself Up#he got that gifted kid energy of everything always came easily to him and yet it wasnt ever enough and the relationship w a literal goddess.#certainly didnt help that.#so hes constantly reaching for more. and thats a fault of his because he will do that even if told not to because#at the same time he thinks of himself as smart enough to actually Get to that More.#and yknow w the orb? he literally. got So Badly Burned. is it deterring him? nnnnnnot really.#and i think. godhood would. idk i think he could do it. and i think it still wouldn't be enough.#and having an all powerful deity who ALSO a) still never is satisfied with his amount of power and control and b) thinks he know better than#anyone and could do better than anyone#sounds like its gonna fucking suck#anyways im rotating this all in my brain + ofc the delicious bloodweave combo of ascended astarion + new god gale bc thats just. ough#the mess. of this combo.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
OK, I was going to reblog this excellent post by @luckshiptoshore so go read it, because yes. Yes!! YES!!! But then when I got started my post got super long and I felt bad tacking it onto her post and decided to make my own in response to these tags:
#i am actually a bit obsessed by the whole hunting as queerness metaphor#it’s so clearly something everyone involved in the show is thinking about#supernatural
Gurl, me too! Like go back to the start! By the time Supernatural began, the backlash against the Joseph Campbell Monomyth-style mode of storytelling had already begun in the hallowed halls of USC film school, and yo: I was there at the time of Kripke's graduation, and my best friends from college are full scale big giant time filmmakers now, whose names I will not share on main because it's uncool, and I don't want that attention, but... yeah. I am referencing FIRST HAND SOURCES on this.
But, for a real source? The Oxford English Dictionary places the first use of the term "Queer Theory" in 1990, with Queer Studies as an option in the academy by 1992. I know the kids think it's a new-fangled thing, but Kripke graduated USC in 1996 (I graduated in 1995) and it was ALL THE RAGE by then. My friends read queer theory in their Critical Studies courses in the Film School, I read it in the College of Humanities getting my degree in Literature. By that time, you could not get through that school with any degree in any non-STEM subject without knowing about ye olde postmodern lenses, queer and feminist theory, and without knowing how to employ those lenses.
Queer refers to sexuality, yes, but the word's earliest use (again, according to the OED) is in the 1500's, meaning: strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious.
So, ok, in 2005, Enter Supernatural, episode 1:
Presented? Two brothers. One actively seeking credit in the straight world that is not available to him in the bosom of his family: Stanford, law school, hot co-ed girlfriend, the other bound to his fractured, wounded family by duty, yes, but also by love, living on the fringe, alone, fighting monsters, and chasing after his father's approval, and who has long since given up any dream of being 'normal'. Episode 1 presents Sam's call to adventure, which he refuses when it's just familial duty, honor and love calling him, but accepts when the show takes a very straightforward and very telling path by classically fridging his woman. Ok, now he's on board. Like John, whose motivation is another dead woman, his motivation is revenge. So far so straight!
Dean though: he's different. He is already on the adventure and he was not 'called' or given the option of accepting or refusing because he had no agency when his feet were set upon this road. He does not fit the straight world at all, because he is cobbled together out of love, duty, deep guilt, striving, desperation and fear. This is who he is now, in some elemental, incontrovertible way. It was not a choice for him, he was born to it. His mother is dead, and we later learn, she made the choices that brought them all to this fate. Dean remembers her idyllically, but he is not motivated by revenge, more than any other thing, he wants to be worthy. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love.
Enter Supernatural's main theme: fucked up relationships between men enmeshed in patriarchy, which will eventually expand to include fucking GOD HIMSELF.
And like, there are SO MANY CLEAR STEPS ALONG THE ROAD in season one, and I am not even talking about sexuality and gender here, but there is SO MUCH TO SAY about it in season 1. But I am not talking about that -- I am talking at a structural, narrative level, the whole thing is just fucking all the way queered, yo.
The big climax?
At the end of the season, Dean says: "I just want my family back together. You, me, Dad... it's all I have." He is Sam's mother, John's partner! His vulnerability and emotion is feminized and contrasted with Sam and John's more overtly driven by their more masculine/straight heroic revenge quest. John: "Sam and I can get pretty obsessed, but you always take care of this family." Only that's not John talking, it's Azazel, and Dean knows it is because his father would never forgive how soft he is, how he will always choose love and family over revenge. Then, in the end, the show makes a huge point of telegraphing that Sam is finally aligning with Dean by refusing to shoot Azazel because he's possessing John, and Sam just can't do that to Dean.
Sam and Dean are thus bound together and cemented into a marginalised path, living on the road, haunting liminal spaces and cheap motels, confronting the monstrous everyday. Sam is presented as the brains of the operation, he does research, logics his way through things (masculine) while Dean is the heart who acts impulsively and on instinct and intuition (feminine).
It later transpires that Sam has a piece of the monster inside himself, and Dean has to learn to love the monstrous, he has no choice, because Sam is his brother and then Cas... and, and, and!
Like... I could go on and on, citing ENDLESS EXAMPLES. This could be a literal book. Maybe one you need to read with a magnifying glass like my condensed edition of the OED. LIke, the queerness of Supernatural is DIZZYING and MYRIAD.
But basically? FROM THE START, hunting is a queered version of family, and within that, Dean is a queered version of a Campbellian hero. Hunting is a metaphor for otherness and liminality, and that's even before you say a WORD about sex. It starts in deviation from the norms of family, masculinity and expands from there on so many levels both in story and on a meta level. The story is flesh on queer fucking bones.
I'm so sorry, but anyone who thinks queerness was not BAKED INTO Supernatural and more specifically into Dean from DAY 1 has clearly never seen Dean's insane lip gloss in season 1, and vastly underestimates the cultural awareness of people who write shit in Hollywood, and also the other people who put pink lip gloss on pretty boys in Hollywood. Nothing that gets on your screen wasn't a fucking choice made and approved by a LONG LIST of people who know what they are about.
#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#the queerness is baked in from the word go#like...OBVIOUSLY#and transparently
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
STRAY KIDS MYSTERY INCORPORATED: WHO ATE THE LUCK?!
episode one
ot8 stray kids
❀ genre: comedy, horror, fluff
❀ content warnings: mention of hypnosis
❀ word count: 2.9k-ish
❀ summary: all eight of them were settled down and cosy, ready to spend halloween together as a group, but it's felix's mistaken purchase that lands them where they are
a/n: hi everyone! Really excited to post this first part to my Halloween series of 2024! If you would like to be tagged then you can always reply to this post, pm me or even send in an ask! Hope you enjoy <3
SKMI: WHO ATE THE LUCK? MAIN MASTERLIST
“-like, nothing is screaming out at me right now,” Felix shook his head, lips pursed in concentration and eyes flitting back and forth as he scanned the shelves in the downtown video shop. The unfortunate phrasing caused Jisung to decide to scream into his ear and then frighten him in the process, Felix turning around and softly punching him on the shoulder. Jisung just chuckled in response.
“I screamed at you,” Jisung laughed again.
“What? I can’t hear anymore,” Felix rubbed the left side of his head, one of his hands covering his ear in protection. The two youngest, however, didn’t even bother to look over at the bickering of the sunshine twins. They had bigger priorities on their maknae line shopping trip.
“No, nope, nah,” Seungmin boredly ran his finger across some DVDs, bored of the same old Halloween films.
“Oh we should watch Nightmare on Elm Street!” Jeongin suggested, picking the case up off of the dusty shelves.
“Really?” Seungmin turned to Jeongin, curious of his choice, “Freddy Krueger just isn’t that scary though.”
“Yeah, he is,” Jisung shuddered, taking the DVD away from Jeongin and placing it back on the shelf.
“Hyung!”
“What do you find scary then, Seungmin-ah?” Felix moved away from where he had previously been browsing, and stood next to his fellow member.
Seungmin’s gaze drifted up at the ceiling as he tried to think of something that actually did cause him fear.
“And don’t say Minho hyung,” Felix cut in just as Seungmin had experienced a lightbulb moment.
“Dammit… Well, I don’t know, then. Even Groundskeeper Willy is creepier as Freddy than Freddy is himself. The Simpsons really went all out, but it wasn’t scary,” Seungmin considered for a moment, sighing at the lack of selection in the shop.
“Oh yeah! The Simpsons was so good. We used to have those Halloween episodes on DVD,” Felix clapped his hands excitedly at the memory.
“I think we used to have some on tape when I was younger,” Jisung added. The boys continued to chat amongst themselves, sharing childhood favourites as they reminisced over the titles they saw. However, it was that keyword, ‘tape’, that caught the attention of the kooky old shopkeeper, thick framed glasses with an orange beaded chain that contrasted greatly with her curly, grey hair.
She ducked into the back of the shop, which was sectioned off from the public area. Most would assume it was just where spare stock was kept to replace items that would eventually be sold, but it was also for her special collection of items - ones that only a few select people she deemed as worthy for the challenge would receive. After climbing up her mobile step ladder and grabbing her chosen artefact, she brought it towards the members, ready to persuade them to purchase.
“-there’s nothing saying we can’t pick something lighthearted to watch,” Jeongin suggested. Even with a plethora of options before them, they were stuck in a cycle of one idea being suggested and then shut down within the next minute.
“Perhaps I could be of assistance,” the old lady made her presence known, standing behind them with a big smile on her face and a tape machine in her hands.
“Oh! All of a sudden?” Jisung’s head whipped around so quickly he could probably qualify as something from The Exorcist.
“Annyeonghaseyo,” the other three proceeded to bow politely.
“I couldn’t help but overhear you discussing tapes, so I thought I’d show you something from out back,” she presented them with the tape machine in her hands, an old silver coating with a circular logo, ‘INTA’, plastered in the middle. The boys were none the wiser and thought she was such a sweet old lady, just doing her best to give good customer service.
“Oh wowww!” Felix nodded and grinned, taking the machine from her hands and looking at the object with fascination. Sure, it was computers and keyboards he liked to take apart, build and rework, but there was something entrancing about what he now held.
“Thank you, but we don’t have any tapes,” Seungmin tried to shut down the unneccessary payment.
“I have one that was specially released alongside this machine. Although, boys, I must let you in on a secret,” she whispered, making the boys share concerned yet intrigued looks.
“What is it?” Jeongin asked.
“There is only one version released in the whole world. I’ve got it here for you if you like? Have you ever watched The Scooby Doo Show?”
“What a sweet lady! I can’t believe she gave us a discount too,” Felix cheered happily, clutching a bag of goodies to his chest.
“She must have really wanted to get rid of this old VHS player,” Seungmin mentioned as they headed back to Hyunjin and Changbin’s place, the former being excited to decorate for Halloween.
“I don’t know, I think it was just good customer service. She heard us talking about tapes,” Jisung said in defence of the whimsical old woman.
“Hyung… you probably think good customer service is when the owner actually gives you your change,” Jeongin poked Jisung on the shoulder from behind, as he walked side by side with Felix.
“Yah! At least I didn’t nearly end up in a cult!”
Meanwhile, back at the Hyunbin apartment, the hyung line of the group were setting up the place to get ready for their spooky evening. Chan and Minho were tasked with getting food ready, the latter preparing the hot food and Chan doing his best to arrange the sweet snacks in an aesthetically pleasing way; he was instructed by Hyunjin to do so. Said guy was on decorating duty and he had roped in his cute housewife Changbin to do the heavy lifting.
“Why is this skeleton so heavy? It’s a skeleton!” Changbin whined as he carried the large structure into the lounge area.
“You said you wouldn’t complain,” Hyunjin tutted.
“Just tell me where you want it!” Changbin huffed, a tinge of desperation in his voice. He would have placed it down to give his muscular arms a break but he would have only been further scolded by Hyunjin for not treating the figure with more caution.
“Hmm, let's put it next to the TV,” Hyunjin nodded with approval, arms crossed and one hand cupping his chin as he appraised the haunting scene that had been created.
Intricately carved, orange pumpkins were illuminated by lit candles, projecting silhouettes of either sharp, scary faces or the Stray Kids logo (that last one was Chan’s hard work). They rested on a side table, which had fake cobwebs strewn up and across to the ceilings, even trailing over the blinds. The sheerness of these delicate furnishings were highlighted by the glowing green fairy lights hung alongside them, each LED encapsulated by a Frankenstein head. Minho had insisted on purchasing those, as it reminded him of the lyrics to Maniac. Everything else in the room was placed to only heighten the mood, little trinkets and knick knacks like black plastic bowls shaped like bats, light up skull heads and an oddly cute haunted house ornament, the words Oddinary House branded on the bottom of it.
“Perfect!” Hyunjin clapped his hands surveying his surroundings.
“Wow… this looks great!” Chan brought in some bowls of sweets, Minho on his toes with steaming hot plates of savoury foods to balance everything out.
“This smells so good,” Changbin groaned from the sofa now, ready to recharge after following Hyunjin’s commands for the past hour or so.
“Hands off, Dwaekki,” Minho playfully scolded, tapping Changbin’s hands so he kept them to himself, “the others aren’t even back yet.”
Just as if it was on cue, the other four boys returned, Seungmin being the one to unlock the door after earning the responsibility to borrow a spare key.
“Wow!”
“This looks sick”
“Woah the food smells good too!”
“It’s still hot too!”
They instantly made themselves comfy amongst the sofas and blanketed carpet, excited for their evening. The eldest in the group couldn’t help but be curious by the bag Felix was rummaging through.
“How many films did you buy?” Chan looked over Felix’s shoulders.
“Just the one, but you’ll never guess what else we got…” Jeongin trailed off.
Felix sneezed as he brought out the machine, and the somehow pristine encased tape of ‘Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated: Who Ate The Luck?’.
“A tape machine? VHS?” Minho raised a brow, but couldn’t stop his curiosity.
“Isn’t it so cool?” Felix grinned widely, now kneeling in front of the TV to set everything up.
“I definitely didn’t expect this,” Changbin thought out loud.
“Neither did we, but Lixie seemed pretty excited about it,” Jisung shrugged, and Hyunjin shot him a knowing look. It was hard to say no to the sunshine boy, all of the members knew this and felt the same way.
“What are we watching?” Chan excitedly asked, rubbing his hands together giddily. He loved having these moments where although the members were separated through living situations, they would ultimately always come back together.
“Scooby Doo!” Felix brandished the tape and held it in the air proudly, like it was a prized possession. It certainly was… something.
“Wait… they have Scooby Doo in Korea?!” Chan gasped in shock. Even though he had been living in South Korea from the age of 13, he had no idea.
“Yeah, I loved that show!” Changbin nodded along, now thrilled at the idea of watching a childhood classic, rather than a horror movie.
“This really wasn’t what I was expecting,” Minho chuckled fondly, a part of him finding it cute and endearing that his younger members had returned with this as the pick of the evening.
“I wasn’t either but the lady at the shop said it’s the only copy of this version,” Seungmin commented, sneakily picking at the popcorn on the table.
“Wahhh! It must be special then,” Hyunjin snuggled into his blanket on the sofa, watching as the machine started whirring, a small glow around it after Felix pressed play.
“Sit here, Lixie,” Jeongin patted the spot on the floor next to him, holding a cushion to give to the other boy.
The tape started to load onto the screen, the Warner Brothers’ logo eerily emerging into view, a swirling spiral behind the text. The boys didn’t even realise the trance they were falling into, the feeling of being utterly relaxed and enraptured at the same time was something that they would have explained as their enthusiasm to the evening. Each and every set of eyes in the room had their pupils dilating, the black and white swirls from the screen imprinted on them. It was weird. There were no verbal instructions given to make them feel so hypnotised, yet with the disappearance of the production’s logo fading away and the increasing vividness of the spirals snaking around the screen, it took one click before the screen went black, and the lounge was empty. The VHS player continued to glow, whirring away, and all the snacks were abandoned, no one to enjoy them. The decorations - no one to enjoy them. Just like that, each and every member of Stray Kids had disappeared, only to be trapped in a world they had no idea how to navigate.
Five teenagers found themselves stuck in a police cell, in the local station of Coolsville, a district in the city of Miroh. They all shared looks, having the same feeling of disorientation. Why were they here?
Fred Jones didn’t know that he was once Bang Chan. He felt the same as normal in that sense. He had a light blue denim jacket, white t-shirt underneath and a cheap, orangey gold chain visible underneath the collar. Fluffy blonde hair sat atop his head, shifting ever so slightly each time he looked over the gang, trying to figure out a way to escape.
Daphne Blake didn’t know that she was once Yang Jeongin. She felt the same as normal in that sense. She paced back and forth in her tall, violet heels, albeit she was stumbling occasionally, which ultimately led her to resting against the wall, arms folded. She had to tug down her dress, and found herself fussing at her own hair, adjusting the lime green necktie to rest more comfortably.
Velma Dinkley didn’t know that she was once Seo Changbin. She felt the same as normal in that sense. Oddly, she was pushing up her thick black glasses more often than she would normally like to, and pulling at the sleeves of her orange turtleneck to accommodate for her toned arms. She stood firmly looking through the bars of the cell, a book clutched in her arms.
Norville Rogers, better known as Shaggy, didn’t know that he was once Hwang Hyunjin. However, he was none the wiser most of the time, and simply found comfort in clutching onto the arm of his dog hybrid friend Scooby Doo. He didn’t know that he was once Kim Seungmin. Here he was, wearing a matching pair of a brown jumper and slacks, that Shaggy’s dad had leant him after taking in the poor boy to the Rogers’ home. Shaggy also had hand-me-downs from his father, choosing to go for a pair of maroon trousers and a fitted bright green top that he stole from the top shelf of his mother’s wardrobe.
It wasn’t their identities they were worried about, it was more so the fact that they had been arrested when all they were trying to do was seek out the villains causing havoc in their district.
“Are you finished with the celebrations now?” the sheriff finally made his appearance, coming right up to them and making his appearance known.
“Oh come on, sheriff! You gotta let us out,” Fred huffed.
“Let me just stop you there. You see this badge?” the sheriff proudly tipped up the shiny star pinned to his white shirt, PJY engraved onto it, “you know why it’s here?”
“It came with the shirt,” Velma pointed out boredly, completely done with any interaction they’d have with the man.
“If there’s a crime, then I’m the one to solve it, not some teenagers who should be paying attention in school,” he was quick to inform them, “and, oh, by the way, I’ve told all your parents you’re here. Got them on speed dial. I’m sure they’ll be pleased.” With that he turned around, his black hair styled with a middle parting from the 90s flapping about as he smugly left the room. His see through plastic trousers crinkled audibly with each step, mixing in with the sounds of disgust from Daphne.
“How is he our sheriff wearing that?” she turned up her nose in disgust.
“Like, I don’t know ‘bout you, but I think we got other things to worry about,” Shaggy shuddered in fear, tousling his dark blonde hair back.
“Mom and Dad are gonna be so mad,” Scooby looked around worriedly. Shaggy patted the head of his friend, closer to being his brother, in comfort.
“We need to find a way out. I’m not too good with these things though… I much prefer trapping than escaping,” Fred sheepishly admitted.
“I can do this,” Velma stepped up, about to unclip one of her red bobby pins before another voice interrupted them.
“I’m not trusting another thing you’re doing! We’re gonna do this Scrappy style!” a shorter dog hybrid, who had been previously crouched down in the corner of the cell, stood up. He didn’t know that he was once Han Jisung but that didn’t matter as much as bothering Scooby, who he insisted was his cousin. The Rogers family weren’t so sure on that one. Scrappy… he was a bit more of a wildcard. The gang knew this well. Half the time they’d never see him, the other, he was tagging along with them in aid to solve mysteries.
“Haven’t you done enough, Scrappy?” Daphne looked down at the boy, scanning the letterman jacket he paired with some brown jeans.
“It’s not my fault we’re in this mess! If it wasn’t for Shaggy dragging my cousin and you all into this, then we wouldn’t be here!” Scrappy frowned, stomping his foot indignantly.
“I don’t think I’m your cousin, Scrappy,” Scooby looked at the fellow hybrid. There were an amalgamation of different species in Coolsville, most commonly humans, yet you did find that there were a lot of different mixed hybrids around too.
“Guys, come on, let’s not lose focus of our task at hand,” Fred had to remind them all, “we’re gonna get out of this, Scrappy too.”
“Great,” Daphne sighed.
In a dark, dusty room, a large screen was displaying what nobody else in the world knew was a brand new recording. An old lady sat down with a cup of tea, blissfully enjoying the events unfolding right in front of her, after pressing the ‘record’ button on her machine. She had done it again, fooled a sweet, trusting soul into playing into her deceiving schemes. There were still two of them yet to find their feet in their new roles, but she’d certainly have fun watching it all play out before her very eyes.
tagged: @night-storm7 @maisyyyyyy @imfoive @qwonyoung23 @linoalwaysknows @royal-shinigami @jolly04 @turtledove824 @yangbbokari @thisrandomgoofy15 @lieslab @hannamoon143 @arumlilyeclipse
#skmi:watl?!#stray kids mystery incorporated#skz#stray kids#skz series#stray kids series#halloween series#series#ot8 skz#ot8 stray kids#skz fluff#skz angst#straykids imagines#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
first of all, what the fuck. whatever i just read, i’ve never read anything so good. like ever. like scream worthy good. you don’t understand i’m absolutely gagging over this latest writing of yours.
to put in to perspective i’m kind of a bore and stick to the basic lestappen/landoscar business and keep to what i know i like yap yap etc etc. anyway i was perusing the landosc tag on ao3, and before reading any tags, and i mean any, i saw linearity and was like okay let’s go i should buckle up for some good shit let’s get started. well fuck me because not knowing anything was a brill misstep on my end going into this 50k ride.
i’m getting through this thinking ooohhh okay so this is what’s going to happen, ahhhh right okay yeah i see what’s going on…sister you did not have a clue because i had preconceived ideas of a landosc love story! and guess what!! i was wrong!!! and i’ve never been so over the moon about being wrong in my whole life!!!! i was like “haha it would be so cool if max and oscar fucked around a lil... but they won’t...” and then linearity was just like surprise you win 🤩🤩 and i was surprised at myself for how much i didn’t dislike it lmfao
imo, rpf can be a rocky road in a way. i find people are very good at placing the drivers - or just celebrities in general - into certain boxes based on outward appearances or things they’ve said, and produce them into these one-dimensional, stagnant beings, which completely contradicts the fact that they’re human. while this is fiction, and we really do not know these people, i think you’ve humanised them in a way that stays within the realm of actuality. it’s solid and sincere and just amazing.
that was the best reading experience i’ve had in a verrryyyyy long time and literally thank u so so much for it because i farking need it. the pairings, the relationships, the nonlinear storyline, the characterisation, just the writing overall, all had me rolling, kicking my feet, giggling and gasping like please do know that your efforts are HIGHLY valued. i’m a bit of an old stickler; like when i like a pairing, i like that pairing, but your writing made me see the light. and being a verstappen fan…..this diva….
god maybe i’m dramatic maybe im riding some weird adrenaline emotion fuelled high but i could sing praises about this fic for days. im rambling but puhlease know that i loved eat them alive to the fucking stupid baka core of my heart xxx
p.s. i didnt write this with intentions of being answered!! just needed to yap 🙏
WELL I'M GOING TO RESPOND ANYWAY I HOPE THIS IS OKAY 😭 this was just such a lovely ask i had to post and respond...
i'm glad you ended up stumbling across the fic hahaha. i do tend to tag on the sparse side, but it really must've been a ride going into it completely blind !! probably the best way to experience it in my opinion :) glad to have tricked you into reading all 50k 😈
yeah like. re: landoscar
the whole thing about this fic, one of the very first "moods" or throughlines, a framing of sorts, idk, was basically like - i needed at least the first 2/3 of the fic (thinking, like, pre-spa) to feel like a funeral march, in a way.
the point for me was that, you know how it ends (landoscar fighting for a title, lando not wanting to talk about oscar in the interviews, oscar thinking back fondly on the time they were teammates, but they're not talking, and most importantly, they're not teammates anymore), but you also get to see how it began (hungary, abu dhabi, and then the development into silverstone where they start sleeping together). it WAS a love story, but it was always one that you knew was doomed from the start.
and i guess i'm rambling a bit but, in the present timeline, qatar was the very first moment where lando and oscar actually speak. lando's a very present/main character in this fic, but the thing is, he's completely absent (aside from like, mentions of how he's doing on track and in the championship) from the present timeline. he exists only in oscar's memory, and as a stranger, in a way. a rival/competitor, someone oscar left behind - an ex, literally.
originally i hadn't intended for maxcar to be like, as emotionally involved as i did. i had originally intended for it to just be fucking around, but then the more that i wrote the more i realized - oh, they actually can work. there's actually an emotional underpinning here we can use (re: the helmets in abu dhabi). and i'm glad you didn't dislike it!!
and i'm very very happy that you found all the characters very human! this was really a sincere work in a way. i was really hesitant before i posted, because i knew that this one didn't pull any punches with how i characterized any of them (re: lando being a bit of a crybaby, oscar being an asshole), and i took a lot of risks, and i don't think i've ever written a fic with so little of a moral undergrounding (like... for example i feel like there was this weird sort of moralizing to all to play for, mostly bc it was a love story, and because it was a bit of a hero's journey... something that i felt obligated to do/what served the story the best). but i think it turned out really well, and i am very proud of it. like. there was no pretending inside the fic that what oscar was doing was right - only this undercurrent that - he was going to win. the more he fucked up, the more he won, the more he was rewarded for it. you don't win championships by doing right by your competitors. is the thing. you don't win championships by being kind.
something i pay a lot of attention to when writing is, like, the pacing of things. but with pacing, you also have to know how it's going to end, how it's going to feel satisfying/convincing, etc. but for this fic, the endpoint was qatar, really, and it was all about how to get to qatar, and how to bring the characters as much to life as possible, in order to get to that point where it's emotional, and it's hurt, and oscar in particular can't keep anything in side anymore. i'm really happy you found it both sincere and within the realm of actuality !! thank you so much - it's always one of my favorite writing compliments to know that the characterization works :)
and thank you thank you !! i'm very happy you enjoyed reading it :) like this is a whole little universe that i'm so happy i could share with people, and a part of me was worried about posting 57k all at once, but i think it was the best way to do it - just release this whole thing out into the world at once. and i've been very happy with the reception :)
max my little diva... i love him... this entire fic he really was just like. chilling. having fun. playing minecraft. being oscar's little boyfie.
THANK YOU SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN ❤️❤️❤️
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Looking for JJK rp buddies!!
celestialgrotesque on discord! friend away!
Helloooo!! im celestialGrotesque and i am here to ask if anyone would like to be rp partners (also 18 n up) :3 Im 18, have little to no limits (except weird shit) and yeah Here are my mains - Megumi, Geto, Nobara, Choso my secondaryes - Yuji, Sukuna, Uraume, Mahito and mine "I love them, I can write them, but not that confident" - Gojo, Toji , mimiko and nanako (together, cant play them separately) ,Any other character really, just need to do research on them, kenjaku Ill tag the ships I like,,, so uh if this is in A SHIPP TAG,,,,,,,, AND YOU WANNA RP,,,,,,, big ol eyes QUALITY OVER QUANTITY RP!!
rp example belloww
Megumi hands felt as the warm water of the sink ran through them, carefully brushing the green side of the sponge against the small bowl he uttilized for dinner. As he washed the reminders of dirt away, he couldnt help but.... ponder. There was an emptiness weighing in the back of his neck, as he finished the dishes carefully placing them on the drying rack. He took off the small filter of the sink, trowing the disgusting wet pieces of food in the trash before finally putting it back in its place. Megumi washed his hands again, drying them in the nearby towel before running them through his hair. He took deep breaths, attempting to stabilize himself. But his thoughts grew erratic, his mind raced circles upon circles. It hurt. "hff.....huff..." He breathed, 'just like in therapy' he thought, sitting down back against the small cupboard under the sink. He covered his eyes with his hands, breathing as deeply as he managed. 'I must be the worst', he thinks. Today had been a particularly rough day for Megumi, he had a small disagreement with Nobara and Yuji, something considerably small for the two of them had ticked Megumi off, causing him to blow up on his friends. Why was Megumi like that? If he was to really think about it he was not worthy of his friends, Nobara and Yuji were sweet and strong people, people that didnt need him. And god how dare he shout at them like that. Hurt them like that. "Deep....breaths...." He felt iregular, out of control. His head was spinning and he felt like too much. The lights felt too bright and the world felt woozy. Weakly, he brings his hands together summoning the devine dogs, who carefully began comforting him. They put their weights on Fushiguro, carefully pushing down on him to assist on his regulation. It felt like days for Megumi, the breathlessness and spinning world stopping slowly but eventually, he felt ok enough to go to his bed. The two wolf-dogs hop on the bed aswell, snouts pressing against Megumi as he held his pillow, small tears forming in his eyes. He hated being weak like this. But- he would be ok. Thats something he knows. Thats something he was promised. He is going to be ok. THE FORMATTING IS FUCKED,,, BUT YOU GET THE JIST!!
#roleplay#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#satosugo#sugosato#itafushi#fushiita#megumi fushiguro#suguru geto#nobara kugisaki#choso kamo#yuji itadori#sukuna ryomen#uraume#mahito#satoru gojo#toji fushiguro#kenjaku#semi lit
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
IKIGAI (or A REASON FOR BEING) — CHAPTER TWELVE
“Did you get a new tattoo?” She asked. Noah, with a playful grin, stopped to show her. Lia leaned over the kitchen island with her elbows set on the counter, narrowing her eyes at the ink under one of the green leaves on his neck. After a moment, she managed to read what the black ink said, and her eyes went wide open. “No way.”
Chapter tags: best friends living together, fluff/comfort, platonic love?, sexual innuendos, early bad omens. | Word count: 1.738 | Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*
CHAPTER 12
Lia is 19. Noah is 20.
The late morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over Lia's makeshift art studio in the living room. On the carpeted floor, surrounded by sketches, paint palettes, and fabric swatches, Lia was deep into her creative zone and lost in her imaginary. The boys' band was gearing up to launch some merchandise, and Lia had been working day and night to get some designs worthy of being printed on t-shirts and hoodies.
As she chew on the cap of a black pen and zoomed out with two fingers in one of the drawings that she had transferred to her iPad, the main door of the house opened, and Noah burst through carrying a few grocery bags in his long arms.
The sight of him instantly lifted Lia's spirits, and she returned his smile from her seated position on the floor.
Noah set the bags down on the kitchen isle, and the first thing out of his mouth was a complaint about the rising cost of Lia's favorite Thai noodles. However, he quickly redeemed himself by announcing that he had bought a bunch of instant noodles for her. Lia's eyes lit up with delight, and she abandoned her artistic endeavors to help him sort out the groceries in the kitchen.
In her socks and black leggings, Lia sported one of the early printed Bad Omens t-shirts featuring her own artwork; it was white and a bit oversized, the colors of the art still not holding the tone desired, it was a work-in-progress, really, but it was comfy enough for her to wear around the house.
As soon as she reached the isle, she stood on her tiptoes and eagerly peeked into the bags, searching for any guilty pleasures. Her eyes widened with glee when she discovered a box of frosted cookies and cream pop-tarts. She muttered a triumphant “yes!” and unable to resist, she opened the box, took one out of its wrapping and settled on one of the stools to indulge in it while Noah unloaded the bags.
As she savored the sweet treat, Lia's eyes wandered, and she caught a glimpse of a reddish mark on Noah's neckthat hadn’t been there in the morning, when he had come down from his bedroom into the kitchen, putting a t-shirt over his bare chest, eyes still sleepy. It piqued her curiosity, and she couldn't quite make out what it was from her vantage pointas he kept on moving and turning.
“Did you get a new tattoo?” She asked.
Noah, with a playful grin, stopped to show her. Lia leaned over the kitchen island with her elbows set on the counter, narrowing her eyes at the ink under one of the green leaves on his neck. After a moment, she managed to read what the black ink said, and her eyes went wide open.
“No way.” Looking at Noah for confirmation, she found it in the proud glint in his eyes.
He had tattooed her name on his neck. It was a small tattoo, barely visible, but it was there. Forever.
“You didn’t,” she muttered.
Noah, unfazed, replied, "Yeah, I did."
Lia, torn between amusement and concern, shook her head and took another bite of the Pop Tart.
"You're never gonna get a girlfriend like this."
“What do you mean?” He asked, keeping his gaze on her as he opened one of the higher cupboards to keep new tea boxes next to the coffee.
"How do you think they will feel when they see another woman’s name tattooed on your body?"
He moved his shoulders up and down.
“They’ll have to deal with it. This is my best friend and the most important person in my life,” Noah retorted.
“That will change when you fall in love,” she told him, but she couldn’t hide her smile and the slight blush that tinted her cheeks.
“We’ll see about that,” Noah replied, determined to defend his position. He pretended to be uninterested as he continued emptying the grocery bags and putting each thing on its right place.
They didn’t have a scheduled shopping routine. Whenever someone went out to get something, if anything was missing in the house, they would take the list that hung in the fridge door and get it.
“Well, this might sound selfish,” Lia continued with her mouth full. She licked her lips. “But I hope nobody falls in love with you, that way I can keep my best friend forever.”
He circled the kitchen island with a few things gathered in his hands, and in response to her comment, Noah leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, playfully taking a bite from her pop tart as he moved away to place a jar of pickles and canned corn in the low cupboard behind her.
“You can keep me anyway.”
He finished setting the groceries, engaging in a quick work with Lia that consisted on her emptying the bags from the remaining items inside and handing them to him as he moved from left to right in the space in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before he noticed Lia’s raised cheeks and the cheeky glint in her eyes and smile. He frowned as he finished folding the carboard bags and kept them in one of the drawers underneath the space where they had the microwave. He could sense she was holding something.
He quirked an eyebrow and set his elbows on the counter as he fixed his eyes on her.
"Okay, I know that look. What have you done?"
Lia hesitated for a moment, biting her lip before finally confessing.
"I got my left nipple pierced.”
Noah froze.
"You what?" The surprise in his voice was evident as his eyes widened.
Lia nonchalantly tugged at her t-shirt, flattening the thin white fabric against her chest, revealing the subtle glint of the tiny beads at each end of the metal bar of the piercing. The fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra was not a shocking reveal to Noah. Despite living in a house full of boys, Lia felt entirely at ease shedding the confines of that conventional piece of underwear when there were no outing plans for the day, and the domesticity and normalcy of it was something that they were all accustomed too. She was also used to finding Jolly or Mike walking around the house in just a towel wrapped around their hips and droplets of water falling from their hair. Nobody paid attention to each other’s skin. At least not when it came to showcasing or hinting at those areas of skin. However, Noah felt a lump in his throat as his eyes fixated not solely on the small but noticeable accessory, but on the little bud that held the piercing and the mount that was Lia’s left breast.
"When?" he managed to ask, the words almost automatic.
"A couple of days ago. It still pains," Lia admitted, releasing her shirt and breaking Noah's trance. “But I love it.”
"Who did it?"
Lia furrowed her brows, catching onto the unspoken question in his eyes.
"Are you gonna ask me if it was a guy who did it?"
"No, I just..." Noah began, struggling to articulate his thoughts.
Yes, he wanted to know.
"Amanda did it. From the tattoo shop downtown, next to the Vietnamese restaurant where we celebrated Bryan’s birthday last year,” she told him with a smirk.
Noah let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, the tension releasing from his shoulders. Lia, chin raised, stood up and walked past him, and he couldn't help but watch her with a striking adoration.
"It's a shame you're not gonna be able to see it," she remarked with a sly grin.
"Very funny," Noah replied, trying to regain his composure while secretly grateful for the distraction. “Anyway, want some coffee? Tea?”
“Green tea, please.”
Five minutes later and with two cups in hand, he placed hers on the coffee table in front of the tv, where Lia had her iPad, her MacBook, and a handful of white papers with unfinished drawings on them. She was back on the floor, seated with her legs crossed, and Noah took a seat behind her, on the couch. His eyes scanned the myriad of sketches spread before them.
“How’s that going?”
Lia leaned back so that her head touched the side of Noah’s right knee, and perched on it comfortably as she lifted her iPad to show him her new ideas.
“I’m pretty happy with this one. What do you think?”
Noah took the iPad from her hands.
Soon enough, they found themselves deeply engaged in one of the so often discussions related to their art, exchanging ideas and tweaking designs. Noah’s suggestions always found a way to complement Lia’s artistic visions, and together they managed to craft concepts that felt uniquely representative of the band. As they solidified their choices for the upcoming drop, Lia’s fingers danced across her iPad while Noah’s danced on her hair, straightening the long strands, soft as silk and vanilla scented.
Five minutes turned into an hour, and come afternoon, the house was filled with the sounds coming from different voices, tuned instruments, and mixed sounds coming from the speakers in the room that the boys had neatly turned into the closest it could be to a real studio.
On days like this, the house transformed into a temple of art. The walls reverberated with melodies coming from the strumming of guitars, the beat of drums, and Noah’s melodic voice.
That space was the place where dreams were shared, and the tangible magic that enveloped the house was exactly what Lia had dreamed as a child, when she could only hear her mother’s screams and the rough voice of random men coming from the main bedroom in the house at late hours of the night.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, Noah went to bed with Lia’s silent and ever-lasting appreciation in his skin. She had touched his cheek before disappearing into her bedroom, reminding him with that soft, gentle, and nearly ethereal touch that she never forgot hat he took her out of the shadows and gave her a place where she could explore herself and her abilities and skills as an artist. He had given her a chance to make magic, and for that, she would forever be grateful.
#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fic#bad omens#bad omens fanfic#noah sebastian x ofc#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens fic#ikigai#the inevitability of love at second sight
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ask Comp 28/6
It's in the recs list! I'm very much looking forward to this one.
I've certainly enjoyed what I've read so far - it's been nice to get back to the story's original protagonists.
The main mood of Act 5.2 is one of anticipation. We've been getting glimpses of the kids' Grand Plan ever since the Act began, and it very much feels like it's all building up to something. If Homestuck sticks the landing, and the Act 5 finale lives up to all this hype, then this might end up my favorite part of the story so far.
Yeah it's a session tag - although a 'reading session' is a little ambiguously defined, especially when I stop posting for a few hours and return later in the day. How long a gap does it need to be before it qualifies as a new reading session?
I've just been tagging every post made in the same day as the same session. It's not a perfect solution, but it'll do.
Wow, it started in 2010? I could conceivably have been reading Paranatural in school - although I'm glad I came to it a little later, so I wasn't constantly waiting for updates.
Big red peepers. I'll admit I didn't really think of this as a reveal, but I suppose it is our first true peek behind Dave's shades.
Based on this, it's it's probably safe to assume that all the kids have eyes matching their text colors. Has Rose been blessed with the legendary mutation, Alexandria's Genesis?
A few people mentioned this Squiddles meme. I like it, it's very Trunk & The Grunks.
I've really gotta catch up on those albums at some point...
I did wonder if Bro's sword shenanigans were something to do with Dave's Quest - like, maybe he was bequeathing his anime sword to his brother, to accomplish some objective. Now that Dave has his own Quest sword, I think that interpretation is less likely.
Symbolically though, I do think it's notable that Bro's sword is intact, and Dave's is broken. It ties into how Dave sees himself as a worse version of Bro, on some level.
As far as Jack is concerned, I doubt the game intends for him to have anything to do with Dave's journey. The whole point is that he's ignoring the game's rules - so if anything, his antics might start to break the Quests.
It sounds like the style was supposed to take readers aback - although I didn't find it particularly jarring myself!
Homestuck's art style is constantly changing, with this, the Earthbound sprites, and Hero Mode, among other things. Honestly, I had just assumed that the comic's art just fluctuated depending on Hussie's mood.
I quite like the HussNasty panels, and I hope Hussie keeps experimenting with the comic's art. It sounds like this is the beginning of a more general trend, so I'm hopeful that it will continue.
Oh, so it just straight up is Excalibur.
New theory about his Quest, then. It's about worthiness, and Dave is being tasked to 'prove himself' as a hero, despite his insecurities. This ties neatly into the next set of asks below:
Anonymous asked: my headcanon (partially supported by the text, as you've seen from rose's conversation with jaspers) is that each quest is designed to help you self-improve, so that you can responsibly preside over an entire universe. whether you agree with the game about the ways you need to improve is another story.
I've speculated that the Quests are teaching the Players how to sculpt their universe. Building on from this idea, then, these asks speculate that Quests are also trying to improve the Players as people, so that the nascent universe will flourish under their care.
It's an interesting idea - although it does beg the question of why Sburb is creating such flawed Players in the first place. If it's looking for self-actualized custodians for its universe, why did it create Players like the trolls, who wanted to rule over their universe like tyrants?
I guess it's possible that a flawed Player who self-improves is actually more resilient than a flawless Player who never needed to change. The former would potentially be more resilient, capable of adapting to the changing circumstances of their universe as it grows and evolves.
I wish! That's more of an aspirational schedule, really. I should probably delink it, if it's causing confusion.
I'm not sure whether this is Karkat's canonical birthday - but if it is, I like the irony inherent in the fact that he's not even a Cancer.
Yes - although I don't blame you for forgetting, since I don't think I've referenced it since the literal first post of the liveblog!
Oh, god, messages from 2024? Is Tumblr using Trollian as a backend?
Bizarre. I assume, then, that the trickster code was cut as well. :(
If we assume that Sburb did evolve, then it makes sense that it works this way. However, if it was created by some intelligent being, then holding the Players hostage like this seems pretty malicious.
I mean, there are ways to ensure participation in the game that don't involve destroying an entire planet. No matter how clear you were about the risks, if you asked the population of Earth for volunteers, you'd be guaranteed millions of responses.
All that said, if Sburb worked this way, we'd have a very different story. I understand why Sburb works the way it does, in the context of Homestuck's themes.
Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, I'd kind of love for Sora to visit a Homestuck world. His Keyblade upgrade could be the Wrinklefucker - and he'd have to unlock Vriska as a summon, right?
Do it. I've been rereading GtN this week, and as far as I'm concerned, Alecto can't come fast enough.
It is she. The million dollar question, of course, is whether Taylor is ultimately more of a constructive or destructive character.
I mean, I have an opinion, but resurrecting The Great Taylor Hebert Debate on this blog would be an exercise in hubris.
@wickedsick asked: The typically accepted name for Girl Egbert is June, after that one time Vriska spelt John with 64 O's and Egbert said they read it as a really long "June". [...]
Oh man, imagine being trolled by Vriska was your trans awakening. How would you ever recover?
Jokes aside, I like June, It's cute. I feel like if John transitioned she'd choose another 4 letter J-name like that, or a name from one of her movies, like Dana or Janine.
Come on - I'd be shocked if Homestuck didn't end with the straight characters getting outnumbered at least twenty-to-one.
Looks fine to me, I think. I assume the website just hiccupped - wouldn't be the first time!
It blows my mind every time I remember that Undertale came out in 2015. The beginning of the Undertale Era feels like it started simultaneously six months ago, and twenty years ago.
You open the TYPHEUS web browser and direct it to what is indisputably the most amazing website ever created.
Au contraire, my friend - Typheus showed up way back in Act 1!
[ I can't send them yet because they'd tell you a lot about the aspects, but someone sent classpect headcanons for discworld characters and they're SO GOOD - C ]
Damn it, I can't wait. Just based on what I've recently learned, I am convinced Rincewind would be the Something of Light.
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
haven’t posted in a while. lost some motivation on the other but will get back to it!
there’s is nothing sexual in this post so if you see the mature themes thing, ignore it cause it’s all fluff
this is a lisa manoban x male!reader instagram fix with shawn mendes as basically the face claim. lisa is from blackpink and i’ve become a fan after watching their coachella performances online. songs are a bop and are on repeat
let me know what you think of this one! send in some requests for things you want to see more as long as i have it open
-grey
———
liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 6,384 others
ynupdates yn is said to replace frank ocean at coachella weekend 2
view all comments
ynfan3 HOLY SHIT NO WAY
ynfan4 IM GONNA BE THERE
ynfan5 don’t disappoint us yn!!
↳ ynhater1 he’s not main stage worthy
↳ ynfan6 don’t hate before he even performs
liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 8,748 others
ynupdates yn arriving for coachella week 2
view all comments
ynfan3 HE SO FIIINNUHH??
ynfan4 He looks daddy
↳ ynfan5 he can be my sugar daddy
liked by ynfan1, bpfan1 and 10,847 others
ynupdates yn posted this video of lisa from blackpink on his story. ONLY LISA, not any of the other members!!
view all comments
bpfan2 OHMYGOD I AHHHH
ynfan2 any fan of yn’s know that he’s a big fan of bp… esp lisa
↳ bpfan3 wait really?!
↳ ynfan3 yeah! they met when blackpink first performed at coachella and been a fan ever since
↳bpfan4 that’s sick!!
liked by ynfan1, ynfan2, and 12,384 others
celebnews people had great things to say about yn yln's act at coachella. many said that it made up for frank ocean's disappointing performance, or lack thereof. he also performed a new, unreleased song called 'daydreams' and people are swooning.
view all comments
ynfan3 OUR BOY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT
ynfan4 all ya'll haters just hating
bpfan1 watched his act cause i heard he was a bp fan and i'm staying cause he is a vibe
↳ ynfan5 welcome new friend!!
liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 10,500,320 others
lalalalisa_m fun in the desert 🌵
view all comments
bpfan1 she posted yn and yn only!!
ynfan1 OMGGG I SHIP SO BAAADDD 🚢 🛳️
↳ bpfan1 i watched his act and IT WAS SO GOOD. i ship too
liked by bpfan1, ynfan1 and 15,374 others
bpupdates jennie posted the first one on her story, lisa posted the video as one of her instagram post slides and the last one was posted by a fan
view all comments
bpfan2 not lisa posting herself fangirling
ynfan2 awww they all watched the other's performance
liked by lisafan1, bpfan1 and 6,392 others
blackpinkupdates are lisa and y/n y/ln in a relationship? this tiktok has some ‘proof’
view all comments
bpfan2 lisa's post from earlier doesn't help with the rumors at all
↳ bpfan3 miss gurl just don't care
↳ bpfan4 she said fuck the management
ynfan1 he def hit that
↳ ynfan2 they could just be friends. they've known each other since 2019 and there weren't anyone saying anything then
↳ ynfan3 or they just hooking up
liked by harrystyles, lalalisa_m and 20,748,046 others
yourinstagram we actually said i do...
view all comments
ynfan1 OHMYGOD WHO IS ITTTTT
↳ ynfan2 HE DIDNT TAG ANYONEEEEE
hairstyles it was a great wedding mate. glad to have been your best man
↳ harryfan1 HARRY WAS BEST MAN
bpfan1 LISA LIKED OMGG
ynfan3 IM FREAKING OUT
liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 16,394,299 others
lalalisa_m ...about a year ago
view all comments
bpfan1 SHES MARRIED?? SHES FUCKING MARRIED??
jennierubykim AHHHHHHHH
sooyaaa_ YAAAY
roses_are_rosie WE BEEN KNEW
bpfan2 THIS IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING KEPT SECRET
↳ bpfan3 THE QUESTION IS TO WHOOOOO
ynfan1 HOLD UP HOLD UP! YN POSTED SOMETHING SIMILAR
↳ ynfan2 THEYRE MARRIED
liked by ynfan1, bpfan1 and 37,484 others
celebnews yn yln and lisa from blackpink are MARRIED. the two posted their own picture with yn's being "we actually said i do..." and lisa's being "...about a year ago" this came as a total shock to all yn and black pink fans all over as we have not seen them interact at all in the four years since they met. were you just as shocked by the news as everyone else?
view all comments
bpfan2 this was not in my list of things that would happed in the celeb world
ynfan2 they're the king and queen of secrets cause WOW
yourinstagram still can't believe she agreed to forever with me
↳ lalalisa_m @ yourinstagram how could i not?
↳ bpfan3 they're so cute ohmygod
↳ ynfan3 officially my favorite couple
bpfan4 DAYDREAMS IS ABOUT LALISAAAA
#lisa manoban#jennie kim#rosé park#kim jisoo#blackpink x reader#blackpink#male reader#lisa blackpink#pinkchella#lisa manoban x reader#gaynatomy fake instagram
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
An Office Redecoration
Genre: Pure fluff, baby!
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: N/A
Author's note: I almost didn't finish this in time for Victor's birthday, but I did! A little self-indulgent fic for my first muse's birthday. Happy Birthday, Victor! Tagging: @darlingdummycassandra/@darling-dummy-blogs, @otome-and-fanfiction
It takes a lot of convincing for Victor to attend a lunch meeting; it took even more to convince him to participate in a lunch meeting on his birthday, no less. Reluctantly, Victor agreed, leaving his office empty for 3 hours—just enough time for Nicole to come in and redecorate for his birthday. Something she enjoyed doing every time this particular day came around.
Before they got together, Victor rarely celebrated his birthday - it was just another day to him, nothing special about getting older. Now, she makes it a point to make a big deal about it, to celebrate him and show him that he is worthy of celebrating the day. Today, she planned to decorate his office when he returns, complete with a red velvet cake she baked herself and presents - some homemade, most bought.
She was on her way to his office when she saw him coming out of the elevator. “Hey you, where are you off to?”
Victor faintly smiles, quite happy to see her, before walking over to her and kissing her gently. “I have a meeting I need to attend, which unfortunately means we’re going to have to reschedule our lunch, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
Nicole frowns, pretending as if she didn’t already know. “Oh no, that’s okay, my love. We can just have a dinner date when you've finished work. You should get going, can’t have Mr. Punctual running late.”
Victor lets out a chuckle before he gives her one last peck on the cheek before he heads out the main doors, leaving her alone. She texts her friends Violet and Cassie that the coast is clear and to come on in with the rest of the belongings. Nicole hops into the elevator, intending to meet her friends in his office. Also, because she has a key, she can unlock it.
Cassie and Violet get up to his office after 5 minutes, decorations and presents in hand, ready to transform his borning, minimalist office into a colourscape of decorations. Placing everything in a giant pile on his desk, the three girls set to work, Nicole decorating his desk, Violet standing on the couch to hang streamers from the ceiling, and Cassie ensuring the table was set up and organized with the gifts and cake. They talked, laughed, and often wasted time, making a task that should have only taken them 2 hours at most take them over 3 hours.
The sound of Victor clearing his throat caused the girls to jump. The 3 of them turn and look at him sheepishly, waiting for the verbal whipping they are about to receive. “And what do you 3 think you are doing?”
“It was Nik’s idea! I swear!” Cassie says, quickly hiding behind Nicole while Violet tries to sneak out behind Victor while he is distracted. “She wanted to do something special! She paid me to do it!”
“Thanks for throwing me under the bus, woman!” Nicole chuckles, walking over to her husband and placing a hand on his chest. “I wanted to do something special for your birthday; Vi and Cassie were more than willing to lend a hand and help me celebrate you. They even got you a few things. Let them all easy; it was my idea.”
“Yeah! Listen to your wife! Let us off easy, or I’m taking my gift back!” Violet says from the door. Victor turns to her, levelling her with his gaze. She squeaks before dashing out of the room, Cassie hot on her heels. “Love you, Nikki! If you’re still alive, text me later!” Violet calls from down the hall.
Nicole rolls her eyes before looking back at Victor, getting a read of him. “They really are innocent; this whole thing was my idea, love. Including the lunch meeting, I’m sorry, I just wanted to surprise you.”
Victor scans the room, looking at the carefully made decorations, the photos of them together lining his desk, and the 35 gifts all placed on the table and floor in the corner. “You didn’t have to do this for me, darling.” He says, regarding her again with a soft look in his eyes. She always found a way to make him feel loved.
“Both Cassie and Violet got you a couple of things, too, as a thank you for everything you’ve done for them. Although they never asked me, so lord only knows what they gave you.” Nicole laughs before walking over to the table and pouring Victor a drink. “As annoying as they can be, they both love you.”
Victor follows her, taking the drink from her hand and looking at the wide assortment of gifts before him before picking up a small, unassuming bag. “Text them to come back; they helped you; they should be here to celebrate, too. Plus, I’m going to need someone to clean up with. I’m dealing with your ass.” He chuckles, taking a sip.
It didn’t take long before Violet and Cassie were back in his office, drinks in their hand, sitting on the couch as Victor began opening his gifts, grabbing the same unassuming bag from before. “That looks like Violet’s handwriting.” he chuckles before opening it, seeing a lump of black fabric at the bottom. Further inspection reveals it's an apron that reads Mr. Good Looking is Cooking.
Victor looks at her as she fights the urge to contain her laughter. “You need to wear that the next time we are over for dinner! It’ll be so good!”
Victor rolls his eyes before reaching for another gift, a small package with Cassie’s name on it. He opens it to see several regular, sophisticated-looking ties until he reaches the last one. Pulling it out, he holds up a tie adorned with several different cat faces. Cassie points to one particularly grumpy-looking cat, “Look! It’s Victor!” Cassie laughs before pointing out the other cats. “The cute fluffy little kitten is me; Violet is the orange cat, and Nikki is the sophisticated-looking cat!’
Victor glares at her while she smiles innocently. “This is why you’re the grumpy cat, Victor!” She whines, hiding behind Nicole.
“You two are menaces, you know that?” Victor groans before letting out a small chuckle. They may be menaces, but he really did appreciate their gifts. He opens one of Nicole’s gifts next, hoping it isn’t something ridiculous but not putting it past her. “Tie clips and cuff links, thank you, my love.” Victor smiles, placing them down beside him.
***
Hours pass, the cake devoured and all the gifts are unwrapped, save for 2 - a bottle of whisky from Cassie, more ties from Violet, as well as some Shiba Inu plushies from her as well. All 3 of them got him cooking-related items or something food-related. His wife gave him a subscription to a whisky club plus new whisky glasses to go with it, a new leather wallet, and a few more odds and ends.
The two remaining gifts wait on the table as Victor and Nicole say goodbye to Violet and Cassie, shutting the door after they leave. “Why did you want me to save those two for after they’re gone, darling?” Victor asks, walking her back to the couch and taking the two gifts off the table as he goes by.
“Those two are quite special; I wanted to get your genuine reaction, not your measured ones with the others here.” She smiles, watching as he tears open the smaller of the two, revealing a silver and black Rolex Sky-Dweller watch.
“Baby…this is beautiful. I love it so much. Thank you.” He says, pulling her in for a kiss. He breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. “You’ve been so good to me this year, my love. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“There’s still one more, darling. This is my favourite gift, actually.” She hands him the last gift, her hands trembling slightly with nervous anticipation. Victor carefully opens it, revealing a black leather-bound book. Opening the front cover, he’s greeted with the photo they took on their first date. Flipping through the pages, pictures of them together at events, photos from dates, and even a few of their wedding photos line the pages.
Victor’s eyes well with tears, looking at the memories and sweet little notes and drawings she added. “I…don’t know what to say, my love. I think this is the best gift I have ever received. I love you so much it hurts. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a perfect wife, but you made my birthday so special. I am never going to forget this day. Thank you.”
#victor li#mr love queen's choice#victor mlqc#mlqc victor#mr love victor#love and producer victor#Victor Li MLQC#mlqc#mlqc fluff#mlqc fanfic
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seoul (Namjoon x OC)
Summary: You and Namjoon meet in Seoul again, this time as exes.
Pairing: Namjoon x OC
Genre: Fluff, angst
Word count: 13.8 K
Rating: 18+
Warnings: language, break-up, talk about parental issues, stress, infidelity, kissing
A/N: So... this got a little longer than expected. Some questions will be asked, many will be answered. A lot of holiday cheer and pretty Christmas lighting. But the best part about this fic has to be the fact that I haven't proofread it.
Set approximately nine months after Next Time but can be read standalone.
Tagging: @bbl32, @meirkive, @quarter-life-crisis2, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)
Listen to: “ghost” by parekh & singh
namjoon masterlist | main masterlist
The last cloud floats away, and the sun peeks out apologetically. Bathed in light, the landscape looks like a colourful painting - a blue sky with a hint of purple, the edge of a green hill cutting it at an angle, and a winding road finishing it off. Visible in between two parallel rows of buildings, it feels like a glimpse of summer on a cold winter morning.
Kaya raises her phone to click a picture, ignoring her frozen fingers. This is Instagram-worthy, she decides - story only, even though she rarely posts anything else. She considers a caption for a brief moment, but it feels almost cruel to disturb the picture.
Over an hour later, when she’s in the car on her way home, her phone pings and she sees a reply to her story.
artisfolly [12:45] You’re in Seoul?
Kaya’s heart skips a beat. She suddenly realises why she’d felt the need to take a picture of that particular hill and it’s no surprise that he’s recognised it, too. His question is unexpected, though, and she can think of nothing to say but the obvious.
kaya_m [12:46] Yeah.
artisfolly [12:47] Why didn’t you tell me?
She stares at the screen, at a rare loss for words. She can’t fathom why he would ask her this, and the fact that they’re speaking to each other for the first time in nearly three months reduces her to simple honesty.
kaya_m [12:50] I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.
A beat passes. Kaya realises only a moment later how tightly she’s clutching her phone and forces her fingers to loosen up.
artisfolly [12:51] I always want to hear from you.
Another beat. Then –
artisfolly [12:51] Can we meet for coffee?
—
The city is already lit up and ready for the holidays. There’s the faint sound of instrumental carols from somewhere down the street as people enter and exit shops in a flurry, all bundled up in fashionable winter wear.
Namjoon still isn’t entirely sure why he picked this place to meet up. Gangnam just made sense because it was reasonably close by, but it’s also busy - it makes him feel less exposed somehow, although he isn’t fully sure what he’s trying to stay hidden from.
He glances at the menu of the coffee cart as he waits for her. Again, it wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d proposed to meet up for coffee, but his mind had gone blank when he’d tried to think of a place. For some reason, all he could think about was this small cart and the fact that it had a hazelnut drink. Around two hours ago, after nearly a whole day of thinking, he’d realised he couldn’t put it off anymore and texted Kaya with the location of the department store next door.
Namjoon exhaled, trying to ignore the low hum of anxiety in his stomach. A lot had happened in the last couple of days: a new track had been submitted for approval, their appearance at the AMAs in January was under review, he had a package that was currently stuck in customs - and then he’d found out his ex-girlfriend was back in Seoul. The anxiety is warranted, he decides.
It’s a few minutes past four pm when his phone buzzes. He feels a jolt in his stomach as he answers. “Hey.”
“Hey. I, uh… I think I’m at the location…” Kaya trails off, sounding unsure. “I can’t see Aldo, though.”
Namjoon swallows; the last time they’d spoken on the phone, she’d sounded very different. His heart skips an uncomfortable beat when he thinks about it.
“Oh.” He clears his throat. “Um, where are you right now?”
“I’m at…” She trails off again, and he pictures her looking around, eyes big and upward. “Okay, I just passed Zara.”
“Okay, just keep walking straight,” he tells her, turning to face the direction he knows she’s coming from. “You’ll see an auditorium kind of thing on your left -“
“There’s just a turn here.
“Yeah, no, you’ll have to cross the street. Be careful,” he adds automatically when he hears a car horn at her end.
She says nothing to that but stays on the line. “Okay, I think I see the auditorium… is that an auditorium?”
“Kind of, I guess. Street musicians, up and comers perform there and stuff.”
“That’s nice. Did you?”
“Still a stage I have yet to conquer. Can you see me?”
“Not yet. It’s pretty crowded. Is there an inflatable Santa near you?”
Namjoon turns slightly on the spot. “There’s a 3D Santa cut-out, if that’s what you’re referring to. There’s, like, three of them, though.” He bites back an unexpected chuckle when she swears under her breath. “Try to look for a banner with the directions to Santa’s Village.”
He can hear her stop in her tracks. “A banner? Everything’s written in Hangul, Joon. Oh, hang on, I think I see shoes - it might be Aldo…”
Namjoon nods wordlessly, trying to ignore his heart racing. He tries to look over the heads of the people on the street, hoping no one recognises him as he looks for Kaya - and spots her. She looks… exactly the same, or more beautiful than every single person in Gangnam put together. Probably both.
He can hear her murmuring on the phone, trying to look for him as well, but he can barely make out what she’s saying. He’s reminded, inexplicably, of the last time he’d seen a similar sight: London, almost two years ago. They weren’t dating yet, and he’d waited for her by the entrance of his hotel as she arrived from the station. He’d spotted her just like this in the crowd, albeit much later in the night. The moment she’d seen him, her face had broken out into a happy smile, complete with Disney princess eyes, and he’d asked her flat out to be with him two minutes later.
It’s a bittersweet memory. Namjoon blinks rapidly a few times before clearing his throat. “I can see you,” he says, hearing how low his own voice is all of a sudden. He raises his arm halfway. “I’m here. Right in front of you.”
He registers the moment Kaya sees him. Her mouth stops moving mid-word and she halts for a moment before exhaling slightly and giving him a small, polite smile. They lower their phones at the same time and Kaya continues walking towards him, dropping hers into the small sling bag hanging from her shoulder. He notices her gaze travel up and down his figure before lingering on his chest, and he’s suddenly glad he chose the turtleneck at the last minute.
“It’s cold,” she says when she finally reaches him, rubbing her hands together and shivering slightly.
He nods, feeling his heart leap unnecessarily. “It’ll get colder,” he informs her. “You look nice,” he says after a moment.
“Thanks. So do you.”
There’s an awkward moment of silence before she exhales. “So this is the coffee place,” she states, looking up at the lit up cart, at the fairy lights, the menu written in both English and Korean - anywhere but him, he notes.
“Oh - uh, yeah.” He shakes his head. “You should - we should order,” he stutters, fumbling with his wallet as he fishes it out. “Sorry, I know you probably weren’t expecting this, but I couldn’t decide -”
“No, no, it’s totally fine,” she says immediately, the silver hoops in her ears glinting as she shakes her head. “This is nice. I’ll have the hazelnut, I think,” she adds, retrieving her own wallet. “Uh, one hazelnut,” she repeats to the barista, enunciating a bit and holding up a finger before turning to Namjoon.
“Oh, right. One caramel macchiato,” he adds in Korean. He pulls out two bills and is about to place them on the counter when Kaya beats him to it. “Oh, I was going to -”
“That’s alright,” she interrupts, glancing up at him with a stiff smile as though to let him know it’s still good-natured. “I can pay for my own coffee.”
They don’t say much else until two steaming lattes are placed on the counter, smelling warm and cozy. They pick up their drinks, and Namjoon is suddenly faced with the consequences of choosing an establishment with no designated seating area.
“Um…” He looks around, starting to feel a bit silly, before looking back down at her and sighing. “Do you want to walk?” he asks finally.
She seems to have already expected this. With a glint of amusement in her eyes, she nods. “Sure.”
They begin strolling down the sidewalk in Gangnam square. The place is busy and most people are bundled up, meaning it’s one of those rare occasions when Namjoon is likely to make it through unrecognised. He tenses up for a moment when he thinks about the fact that he isn’t alone, but then remembers he has no business caring about that anymore.
“So… how’ve you been?”
Namjoon looks up, wondering where to begin. He isn’t sure how much of his post break-up state is appropriate to reveal, and if she even wants to know. He can talk about work… but even that could be a delicate topic, given recent events.
“Not great,” he says finally, surprised at his own honesty. “You?”
She shrugs, once again not meeting his eyes. “About the same.”
He bites his lip. The distance between them, while expected, feels awful - and wrong. Namjoon takes a brave step closer to her. “How did the seminar go? The second one was in October, right?”
Kaya pauses for a fraction of a second before nodding, and Namjoon knows she’s caught the deliberate tone in the question. He doesn’t regret it, though. Forgetting the first one was bad enough; the guilt that had washed over him when he’d realised he’d missed an academic milestone in her life had been one of the last straws for him.
“It wasn’t bad,” she says, taking a small sip of her drink and cracking a smile. “Went better than the first one. But I got to design the lecture series at the end so I guess it worked out.”
“That’s great,” he replies, meaning it. She seems taller, the top of her head almost reaching his cheek. He looks down to see her boots, long and straight up her legs… swallowing, he looks away. “You didn’t sound so good about the - about the last one,” he adds quickly, wincing a moment later.
“Yeah. That one was… way worse.” Kaya doesn’t say anymore, taking another sip instead. “Coffee’s good.”
“Yeah. We got a bunch of these delivered to the studio about a week ago. Thought you might like it.”
“Right.” She nods. “How, uh, how is the studio? And the collabs?” she tacks on at the end.
Namjoon feels his stomach twist again, his eyes falling to his cup at the mention of what was probably the breaking point of their relationship. Hwasa, Sunmi and IU. In the aftermath of their break-up, it had become increasingly clear to him that this was the core of the issue and yet, it seemed like the one thing they avoided talking about.
Kaya seems to remember, too. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to make it weird,” she mutters.
He shakes his head. “You didn’t. Don’t worry.”
She bites her lip. “I was genuinely asking. You were working pretty hard.”
I’m working hard, too. And not just at my job.
“They’re in post production now,” he answers as they turn into a quieter street. “Except for one. It came out last month.”
“Oh, really? That’s - that’s great. Must be doing well.”
“It’s doing fine. Just finished promoting it earlier this week.”
“So does that mean you have Christmas off?” Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Must be doing really well.”
Namjoon chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t want to jinx it. I’m going over to my parents’ house tomorrow night. I’ll probably stay there for a few days.”
Their coffees are almost done now; as the sky darkens, they throw their empty cups into a trash can by the sidewalk and continue walking. Namjoon shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, glad for the momentary warmth.
“God, it’s colder than usual,” he mutters. “You know what it reminds me of, though?”
She looks up at him with the first genuine smile of the evening. “London?”
Fucking hell. “Yeah, exactly. Except there it was cold and wet.” He shudders. “I don’t know how you made it all the way from the station with a suitcase in that weather.”
Kaya shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. The hot shower after really helped,” she adds absently.
It’s not super high up in the list of things Namjoon wants to be reminded of right now, the image of her in his shower. What’s up, boyfriend? she’d greeted him when she’d stepped out, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair swept over one shoulder. The memory makes him smile involuntarily.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” He straightens his face. “I read that Sean Scully was touring Europe again. Did you get to go?”
She sighs hugely and groans. “No, work piled up way too much. But, I found out he was going to be in Belgium and he was putting up some of his figurations on sale,” she says, shaking her head already, “and I started saving up - and I mean saving up. And two months later, the sale happened, and the painting was nowhere to be seen.”
“Wow. You know, some of his stuff is in the National Gallery here, too,” he says, pointing generically behind him. “We can - I mean, you should check it out… if you have time,” he adds lamely.
“Yeah, probably. I’ve been checking out more indie stuff lately, though - but, yeah, maybe.”
“Oh, is that why you were in Hongdae yesterday?”
“Yesterday? No, I was there to see a play.”
Namjoon frowns. “In English?”
“Nope.”
He bites his lip, trying not to laugh, but gives up a moment later. “Are you serious?”
“Shut up,” she mutters, looking adorably embarrassed and nudging him with her elbow. “Jae-lin wanted me to come along.”
Ah. “And there was no way you could say no to her,” he finishes in understanding.
“Exactly. Even the best of us have some weak spots.” She peers at something across from him on the other side of the street. “Hey, is that an ATM?” She stops and looks up at him. “Do you mind? I just need to -”
“No, go ahead. I’ll grab a bottle of water.” He watches her jog across the empty street and enter the vestibule before he ducks into the convenience store behind him. It’s easier than he’d expected, being around her - except for the part where he wishes he could forget for a moment that they aren’t together anymore.
As he wordlessly passes the bottle to the cashier, he wonders for what feels like the millionth time in the last three months if this was the right decision. It had felt like it at the time. The snapping and the fighting was becoming more frequent than before, but at least that was mutual. Disappointing her each time was too much, though, and before he knew it, he was doing the one thing to ensure he didn’t hurt her anymore.
“Thank you,” he mutters to the shopkeeper and exits the shop. The cold air hits him again and it feels as though the sky has gotten several shades darker in the last few minutes. His eyes go straight to the ATM, noting two or three more people apparently in line, before he spots Kaya among them. Her uncertain expression, ducked head and hunched shoulders tell him everything he needs to know, and all thoughts of their break-up disappear in an instant.
Striding over, Namjoon registers three other men, two behind her, seemingly chuckling at something the third is saying to Kaya. It’s clear she isn’t able to understand him, but his proximity to her is enough for Namjoon to automatically feel his pulse race in annoyance.
“Which - country?” The third guy says in English, louder and more deliberate. Before Kaya can answer, Namjoon reaches over and wraps his hand around her wrist, gently tugging her out of there. The relief in her face is brief but evident, and she immediately falls into step beside him as they walk away.
“You alright?” he asks in a low voice, dropping her wrist but staying close to her. “Do you have your wallet and everything?”
She nods and exhales, her arm brushing his shoulder. “Yeah,” she murmurs, her voice shaking slightly. “Thanks.” She doesn’t move away from him, not until they turn into a busier street. It’s more brightly lit, with Christmas decorations and fake snow everywhere, and Namjoon can’t help but feel sorry when she finally takes a step to her right and the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla disappears.
They don’t speak again for a while but unlike when they’d initially met at the coffee cart, Namjoon doesn’t feel pressured to make conversation. Some kind of ice between them seems to have broken and he suddenly feels a lot more secure in the fact that she’s here with him, that they’re here together.
“Oh, my God!” Kaya gasps suddenly, halting in her tracks and clutching his arm, and for a moment Namjoon thinks the creepy men are back.
“What?” he asks hurriedly, looking around and automatically stepping closer to her.
She doesn’t seem to notice. “What - the hell - is that?” she stutters, pointing shakily at something in front of her. Namjoon follows her finger, expecting danger, only to find something even more terrifying.
“Oh,” he exhales, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. He wracks his brain for an appropriate explanation but soon gives. “That’s… yeah, that’s a cardboard cut-out of Taehyung.”
Kaya looks up at him incredulously. “It - what?” She turns back to the six foot tall cut-out of Taehyung in a suit, smirking and making a finger heart, before she looks behind it to see the rest of it.
“Okay, Namjoon, there’s no easy way to ask this,” she begins, taking a step back, “but why is there a shrine to Taehyung in the middle of Seoul?”
Namjoon chuckles, a little embarrassed. “It’s his birthday in a week, so… they do this every year. Birthdays are a big deal around here,” he adds, following her as she gingerly continues down the aforementioned shrine.
“No, I get that,” she says slowly, lightly touching a fringe of sparkly streamers bordering a photo booth. “This is just…” She trails off, looking up at the fake snow and candy canes decorating a line of photo cards and smaller cardboard cut-outs.
“A lot, I know.”
“Kind of sweet,” she finishes. “You know, once you get used to it.” She stops at a wall-sized poster of the entire group, a shot from their last concert in the summer. Namjoon isn’t sure, but he thinks her gaze is lingering on him in the corner, hair a lighter blond than it is now.
My man looks so fucking sexy in a suit.
“What about you?”
It takes Namjoon a moment to focus. “Uh, what about me?”
“Does this happen for everyone’s birthday?” She raises her eyebrows playfully. “Was there a life-size Kim Namjoon here, too?”
“God, no,” he says, shuddering a bit. “Although there is a graffiti drawing of my face back in Ilsan. It’s actually pretty good!” he exclaims when she laughs, feeling his cheeks grow warm. “I’ve only seen pictures, anyway. I guess I’ll see it when I go back tomorrow.”
“Spend some good old quality time with it?”
“Not that much time. Our schedule starts on the…” He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to recall. “Twenty-eighth, I think. Need to double check that.” He opens his eyes to see Kaya frowning.
“You’re working on New Year’s?”
“Yeah,” he says, shrugging. “New Year’s Eve special in New York. Holidays, birthdays… doesn’t really matter,” he adds, hearing a note of bitterness in his own voice. He stops by a pop-up stall. “Honestly, it’s a miracle we got Christmas off.”
Kaya stops beside him, facing him slightly. “I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “About your birthday. I didn’t forget,” she clarifies when he looks up. “I thought about texting or something, but… it was just too soon.”
Namjoon nods, feeling his heart clench a little. That hadn’t been a good day. “I get it. It was less than a week after… everything.”
“Yeah. Didn’t think you’d be working, though.”
“I didn’t mind. Kept me occupied.”
She bites her lip, glancing over at the collectibles. Namjoon watches her, recalling with a heavy heart just how much he’d been hoping she’d call. It hadn’t been fair to expect it, given that he’d ended things just a few days prior. He’d tried to do it as amicably as possible, tried to reassure her that it had nothing to do with how he felt - it was just a consequence of their situation. Long time coming, he’d said. Despite that, he’d kept his phone on all day, hoping that at least special events would mean he could hear her voice again.
“I did… wait,” he confesses after a moment. “I thought we ended on good terms.”
Kaya exhales, and he can see her defenses go up. “We did. That’s why we’re here right now.”
“Three months later.”
“Yeah, well. I needed time to process it,” she counters, folding her arms across her chest. “You really caught me off guard.”
Namjoon lowers his head, unsurprised at her astute observation. He had caught her off guard - and not accidentally. He can still remember the rain in the background, the sound of the people around her as he revealed what he’d been thinking for a few days by then. Most of all, he can remember how confused she’d sounded. That had been the worst part: her confusion. Sadness, anger, denial; he would’ve chosen all of them over her uncertainty, how she’d taken a few minutes to realise what he was proposing, by which time it was too late to argue.
“I wouldn’t have been able to go through it otherwise,” he confesses quietly.
After what seems like several minutes, Kaya sighs. “Well. In the spirit of processing things,” she begins, and he looks up to see her reaching for one of the small stuffed toys on the cart, “a belated happy birthday.” She hands it to him.
“Thanks. And thank you for…” He looks down at the toy and back up at her. “... for this stuffed doll of Taehyung?”
“A stuffed doll of Taehyung holding a wreath,” she points out, jabbing a finger at the plastic decoration. “And wearing a Santa hat.”
“Wow. This is, uh…” He looks back at the doll, stitched down to immaculate detail. “... so terrifying.”
Kaya laughs. “What are you talking about? He’s a good-looking kid.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want a voodoo doll of him staring at me while I’m, like, changing or something.”
“Well, that’s your punishment for breaking up with me while I was running late to class,” she says lightly, already handing cash to the shopkeeper.
“Fair enough,” he mutters, stuffing the silly doll deep into the pocket of his jacket as they begin walking away.
“So?” she continues as they stroll down the street. “How are the other guys?”
“Good, mostly. Pretty tired.”
“And your parents? Your family and everyone?”
“Also good.” He pauses. “My mom asked about you.”
“She did?” Kaya sounds surprised.
“Yeah,” he answers, nodding. “Nothing specific. Just how you were doing and stuff.”
She’s quiet for a moment, hands tucked into her elbows. “You didn’t tell her?”
“Not yet.” Namjoon bites his lip, realising only at this moment, that it’s because he was hoping he wouldn’t have to at all. “Guess I’ll have to, soon enough.”
“Believe it or not, it was hard to tell my mom, too.” She squeezes his forearm sympathetically. “Although, if I’m being honest, the hardest person to break it to was Jae-lin,” she adds.
He snickers. “Really?”
“Yup. And not to pressure you or anything, but she’s expecting some seriously deep music to drop soon.”
His heart jolts uncomfortably. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
When he says no more, he notices Kaya give him a curious sideways glance. “And speaking of my sixteen year old cousin’s obsessions,” she begins, the forced upward lilt in her voice evident, “what about Taehyung and Dilara Komyshan?”
“Oh, who knows with them,” he replies absently, stretching out his neck before looking back down to see her raised eyebrows. “No, they’re dating now. Officially.”
“Wow. Score. For Tae, I mean,” she clarifies.
“I agree. They went on some trip or something recently.”
“Ah, the honeymoon phase,” she says knowingly, shaking her head. “Children.”
“He’s happy now. And I mean too happy,” grumbles Namjoon. “He’s smiling into his phone all the time like an idiot; I swear, he looks high.”
Kaya snorts. “Wow, single people really are bitter.” When he doesn’t respond, she looks up, biting her lip awkwardly. “Too weird?”
He winces theatrically. “A little bit.”
She chuckles. “Sorry.”
They stop at a traffic light, waiting to cross the street. The sky is dark now, but the area has never looked more lively. Namjoon is suddenly glad he asked her to meet today; the closer Seoul gets to Christmas, the prettier it looks.
Which reminds him.
He glances at her beside him; they’re both standing tilted towards each other, almost automatically. To anyone else, it might look like they’re midway in conversation.
“By the way,” he begins, shifting to face her. She does the same, her silver hoops catching the light again. Namjoon pauses; there’s a certain science to this, a certain combination of elements that will get him the reaction he wants - or at least the one he’s hoping for.
“Yeah?”
Hands deep in his pockets, he lowers his head slightly to look her in the eyes. Disney princess eyes. His blond hair falls onto his forehead and he gives her a small smile, just enough for a dimple to appear. His gaze drops to her mouth before meeting her eyes again.
“You look really pretty,” he says, meaning it, hearing his voice low and deep. The flicker in her eyes makes his heart race, but he holds it, waiting for her response.
“Thanks. You look…” Kaya swallows visibly and her gaze falls, lingering near his chest for a moment. Thank God for the damn turtleneck. Namjoon is almost anxious at how she’ll finish her sentence.
“... really pretty, too.”
“Huh.” He nods. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She pauses, clearly awkward. “The blond suits you,” she adds, reaching up as if to touch his hair but stopping herself at the last moment.
“Yeah, it’s, uh… the stylists like it,” he replies lamely, running his fingers through his long hair.
“They’re doing a good job, I guess. You’re looking thinner,” she murmurs, her eyes on his chest and shoulders before they dart up to him. “Not in a bad way,” she says quickly. “Or - or a good way. I was just… it was just an observation.” She shakes her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s okay,” he says simply, placing a light hand on her back as they cross the road. “I haven’t had a lot of time to hit the gym lately. I’ve lost a bit of muscle mass. What about you?” he asks after a moment, feeling his gaze drop to her hips as she walks a step ahead of him, before averting them with an effort.
She turns around and waits for him to catch up, raising her eyebrows. “Am I losing muscle mass?”
“No, are you… you know. Taking care of yourself and everything,” he clarifies. “Eating well, locking your door… that stuff.”
She laughs without humour. “Remember when I told you I was saving up for that Sean Scully painting? Yeah, that means two whole months of nothing but instant noodles.”
Namjoon stares at her, unamused, until she looks up at him. “Are you serious right now?”
Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Are you? Do you seriously think you get to lecture me on a healthy diet?”
“God, I hate it when you have a point.”
“Which is often,” she says fairly, nudging his shoulder playfully. She looks around then, frowning slightly. “Wait, I thought we were going to your car. How far away did you park it?”
“Not that far, actually. There’s a shorter route through the alleys inside,” he explains. “I just thought you might… feel safer this way. Out in the open.”
He wonders for a moment if he’s made it weird again, for he can’t decipher Kaya’s expression. She licks her lips and looks at the ground, but before he can begin getting anxious about it, she looks up.
“I always feel safe with you,” she says calmly, gesturing for him to start walking again.
As he falls into step beside her, Namjoon feels, for the first time all evening, as though he finally knows what he wants. He sees her hand by her side as she walks, half-covered by the sleeve of her dark striped sweater, her nails painted black.
He imagines what it would be like to hold it; lightly at first, fingers grazing her palm before linking their fingers together. Holding it tight then, tugging her closer to him, feeling her long hair brush his chest… for a moment, Namjoon feels like crying.
“Wow, I didn’t realise how hungry I was.”
Kaya breaks him out of his reverie, and he looks up to see her peering at a passing tteokbeoki stall.
“Do you want to get some?” he asks, although he can’t imagine eating anything right now.
She waves her hand. “No, I’m good. Ji-eun’s making dinner and she’ll kill me if I ruin it.”
“Yeah? What’s she making?”
“Not sure. Something with noodles.”
Namjoon laughs. “Sounds about right. She may have grown up in America but she’s Korean at heart.”
“Completely.” Kaya shivers as a cold wind blows. “And Korean by blood, clearly, because there is no way winters back home were this cold.”
“Yeah, the winds are a bit harsh,” he acknowledges fairly. “Why did you decide to visit in the winter anyway? There’s a reason tourism is at an all-time low this time of the year.”
“Oh… my mom wanted to visit. Said she wanted to spend Christmas with family.”
There’s something off in Kaya’s tone, but Namjoon doesn’t want to pry. Not too blatantly, at least.
“Don’t you usually go to Connecticut to spend Christmas with her?” he asks.
“Yeah.” She nods, falling quiet for a few seconds. “She’s dating this guy,” she blurts out. “And they’ve been going out for a few months and it sounded like everything was fine, but I think - and I’m pretty sure I’m right - that he asked her to spend Christmas with his family. And it freaked her out,” she finishes, breathing slightly heavily.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything for a moment. From the way the words tumbled out of her mouth, it’s clear she’s been waiting to talk about it.
“Is it the dating part?” he asks gently.
“No,” she mumbles, looking at the ground as she steps within the tiles. “My dad’s been gone ten years, you know? I’m glad she’s dating. But when she does things like this, I know it’s because she’s scared. And I just wish she wasn’t.”
He frowns. “Did she actually tell you about him asking her to come over for Christmas?”
She opens her mouth but deflates. “Not exactly,” she admits. “But I know I’m right. The way she sounded, the words she used - she was avoiding talking about it.”
Like mother, like daughter. “Why don’t you just ask her?” he suggests. “You and your mom are close, aren’t you?”
She bites her lip and shakes her head. “I can’t tell her what to do. It’s not up to me to tell her how to move on from her dead husband.”
Namjoon touches her elbow, wishing he could do so much more. “I didn’t say to tell her anything. I said you could ask her. She knows you just want her to be happy, right?”
Kaya swallows, stopping as the parking lot comes into sight. “And then what? We talk about it? Because I’m such an expert on how to be happy?”
There’s a moment of heartbreaking silence before she looks up and blinks. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”
He frowns. “It’s okay -“
“No, it’s not. This isn’t your problem anymore, and we don’t -“
“Kaya.” He gives her a look when she stops talking abruptly. “You know, I didn’t intend for… this to mean that we cut each other out of our lives. You can still talk to me,” he says earnestly. He sighs and looks at his feet. “I know there are still things that I can't talk about with anyone but you,” he admits quietly.
He watches her expression change from confusion to curiosity, and then to a kind of concern. Her shoulder makes a movement and he wonders wildly, hopefully, if she meant to reach for him.
“Like what?” she asks softly.
Now that she’s asked, the words seem impossible to say. Namjoon looks down at his hands, feeling months worth of anxiety creep in again.
“I think I’m losing my touch,” he says finally, still not looking up at her. “With songwriting, producing… everything. I’m not… I can’t…” He trails off, wincing in irritation as he struggles to recall English words for his exact emotions. “I can’t write anymore. And the more I can’t… the more I have no idea who I am anymore.”
From the corner of his eye, he sees Kaya watching him closely, her forehead in a frown. “Why?”
“I don’t know. The words just aren’t coming. The music… I can’t hear it in my head the same -“
“No, I meant,” she interrupts him, and gives him an apologetic look when he meets her eyes again. “I meant… why don’t you know who you are anymore?”
“Because if I’m in the studio for hours and hours and I can’t actually… produce anything, or create anything, then what the hell am I doing in there?” If I’m in the studio for hours and hours, what does it all matter if I don’t have you?
“Joon…” She takes a step closer to him. “You’re… it’s recency bias. You’ve been producing great stuff all year. Didn’t BTS just win, like, five awards at the MAMAs?”
“Yeah, but not for anything I wrote,” he counters immediately. “And that’s fine. We always win for the popular hits, and that’s fine with me. I just… I can’t write anymore,” he says in a small voice. “The words aren’t coming.”
Her eyes flicker, as though searching for the right words. He knows it’s far out of left field for her, that a lot of his work is something she can’t contribute a lot to, choosing to primarily listen.
“Well…” She sounds a bit uncertain. “What did you write about before?”
He shrugs, looking away. “Just stuff. Things that made me happy, things that made me sad.”
“And you don’t have those things anymore?”
Namjoon doesn’t know how much clearer he can make it without risking losing even the last remaining fragments of her in his life. “Not the ones that make me happy,” he states, meeting her gaze.
Somewhere, a Christmas carol begins on a loudspeaker, sleigh bells in the background. Bright lights flicker on, jerking them out of their conversation.
Kaya takes a step back, exhaling shakily. “It’s getting colder,” she mutters. “Is that your car?” she asks, tilting her head towards something behind him. Before he can answer, she begins walking over.
Namjoon follows her slowly, knowing their conversation is over. He waits until he’s a few feet away from the car to open it. She doesn’t enter immediately, though; looking up at him from across the bonnet of his Mercedes, she gives him a small, sad sort of smile.
“I’m glad you messaged me yesterday,” she says softly.
“So am I.” He swallows, his heart sinking at the realisation that their evening is at an end, whether he wants it to be or not. “Come on. Let’s get you home before Jieun kills you.”
—
“And he crosses the finish line,” murmurs Kaya in humour as Namjoon slowly pulls into Jieun’s driveway before stopping the car. There’s teasing in her tone, but also a hint of pride, for he really has come a long way since she’d first started teaching him how to drive two years ago.
He doesn’t look at her, though, choosing to stare out of the windshield with a pensive look on his face - the same one he’s had for the entire drive.
Kaya deflates slightly. “Thanks for the ride.”
“How could I have let you go?”
It’s a whisper, but on a quiet street and inside a crowded car, it feels like he’s shouted it from the rooftops. Kaya says nothing, choosing to stare at her lap instead, for she isn’t altogether surprised. The way he’d begun looking at her as the evening progressed, eyes softer and warmer with each minute, some of the things he’d said; the poet in him might have thought he was being subtle, but Kaya knew him well enough to know where his mind was at.
Namjoon, meanwhile, is still in the midst of his crisis. “How - how could I have thought that was the right decision? How could you have let me?”
She bristles. “What?”
“No, I’m - I’m not… I’m not actually blaming you,” he stutters, glancing briefly at her, as though just remembering he’s not alone. “I just can’t believe…” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “God, I fucked up.”
When she’d gotten the call three months ago, her first emotion had been surprise. It had been a long time since Namjoon had called her, despite his best efforts to. Their conversations had turned terse and short, with more passive aggressive statements going back and forth than actual talk about their lives.
It had been a busy day and Kaya already had a lot on her mind, so when he’d broken up with her with barely any warning during a busy evening on campus, she’d been furious. Not at first; no, at first she’d been confused, then in denial, then in class, then busy - very busy - until something had finally forced her to face the fact that she’d been dumped over the phone by the love of her life.
He’d said many things, the first being that he loved her. He missed her, cared about her, and hated being a dick to her - so he wasn’t going to do it anymore. Throughout, through all the sadness and heartbreak, her anger at how he’d deliberately chosen a Wednesday evening in Amsterdam time to break up with her was the worst, because he’d more or less ensured that she wouldn’t be able to argue back.
I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it otherwise.
It’s probably true, and Kaya remembers being annoyed by it even a couple of hours ago. Now, though, surprisingly, she finds herself wanting to comfort him.
“Namjoon -”
“No, you know what?” He interrupts her. “I know I was wrong. I know I was too busy and I wasn’t making the time, and I was taking out my stress on you, but -” He shakes his head, and she realises he’s glaring at her. “You weren’t being honest about what was really bothering you.”
She raises her eyebrows. “I - what?”
He gives her a look, indicating he isn’t fooled. “You know what I’m talking about, Kaya.”
“No, I don’t. And… we don’t need to talk about this,” she mutters hurriedly, unbuckling her seatbelt when he grabs her wrist.
“Wait, come on,” he says quickly, stopping her. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to start a fight. Or maybe I am,” he says after a moment. “If that’s what it’ll take to finally talk about this.”
Kaya hesitates. “You talk about this stuff when you’re together,” she reminds him in a low voice. “And we’re not together.”
“I know.” He gives her a long look, almost pleading, before speaking again, slower and more deliberate. “I’m saying… I want to talk about it.”
“Fine,” she says finally, sitting back in her seat. “Go ahead.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Me?”
“Yes. You’re the one who wants to talk about it.”
“No, I want you to admit what was really bothering you,” he corrects her, giving her a knowing look.
She frowns, puzzled, even as her heart begins to race uncomfortably. “What are you talking about? We were apart, there was distance… wasn’t that the whole problem?”
“That’s a pretty macro way to look at it.” When she gives him a look, he nods, satisfied. “That’s right. I didn’t date an Economics research student for a year and half and not learn a few words along the way.”
Kaya’s mouth twists as she tries to suppress a smile. “No way. You’re not allowed to make me laugh right now.” When he raises his hands in apology and gestures for her to continue, his dimple still faintly visible, she sighs. “Fine. It was… it felt like it was waiting for the other shoe to drop, okay? Long distance is always hard, and we made it last for a really long time.” She shakes her head forlornly. “It was like watching a tornado approach. I guess I just wanted to spare myself the pain of a long, gruesome… demise of a relationship.”
Namjoon folds his arms across his chest. “You’re lying.”
Her eyes widen. “What? What are you - how dare you -”
“Kaya, don’t fuck with me, alright? I can read between the lines - I basically already know what it is, so why don’t you just admit it?”
“I am,” she exclaims defiantly. “I was afraid, we weren’t talking, we were drifting apart - what else is there?”
“Why were you afraid?”
“Why is anyone ever afraid in a relationship, Namjoon?”
“No, why were you afraid - and why did it come up only when I started working on my collabs?”
“Because I was afraid you were going to cheat on me!” Kaya huffs and sinks back into her seat, glaring out the window as she feels the corners of her eyes prickling at the memory.
Neither of them speaks for a few moments. It feels like the invisible wall that’s existed between them all evening has finally been broken down, wrecking ball and all, to leave a pile of cold, hard truths.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asks finally. He doesn’t sound satisfied; on the contrary, he sounds almost disappointed. It breaks her heart just a little.
“Because it’s humiliating to admit that,” she mutters, still not looking at him. “Because if there was one thing that made us work, it was that neither of us was clingy. But if I started acting insecure just because you were suddenly working long hours with beautiful women, then -” She shrugs, feeling ridiculous. “I was officially a clingy girlfriend.”
“Clingy? Kaya, you’re as far from clingy as a partner can be. We both are - we work crazy hours, we’ve gone days without talking and it never mattered. I could never think you’re a clingy girlfriend. And I would never cheat on you,” he adds firmly.
Something settles in Kaya’s chest. “You know, that’s all I needed to hear?” she says, finally looking up at him. He looks almost wounded, his blond bangs thick and falling onto his forehead. “I didn’t actually think you would go ahead and - and have an affair or anything. I just needed that reassurance - I would’ve believed you in a second. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I wasn’t sure – but I suspected it. And honestly, I was a little insulted,” he adds sullenly, “because I didn’t think I’d ever given you a reason to doubt me.”
The truth of that statement is too painful, enough to make Kaya fall silent. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs abashedly. “I was too proud to say it. It’s just… these things happen. When there’s distance and stress and - and then there’s physical distance… it’s not outlandish to think something could happen. I don’t know how it works with celebrities,” she adds, shrugging heavily. “I just know I see a different story on Just Jared every other day and… well, we’ve already established that I was afraid,” she finishes, not knowing what else to say. “I was being crazy.”
She can feel Namjoon’s gaze on her, but she doesn’t look up until he sighs and touches her hand.
“You weren’t being crazy. I mean, I thought you were,” he amends, giving her a momentary smile, “but… okay, after we broke up, I was in the studio with Sunmi, right? And I must have looked like hell because she asked me if I’d had a fight with my girlfriend. It was too hard to correct her, so I - I didn’t,” he admits, wincing slightly.
“Anyway… then, out of the blue, she told me she had a boyfriend. And then a minute after that, she told me wasn’t bragging, but she was making it clear that nothing could happen between us. And then I was, like, what? and she said that in her experience, whenever two people had problems with their partners, they ended up hooking up. And she had no intention of doing so with me while we were both in committed relationships,” he finishes, shaking his head a bit. “So, no. You weren’t crazy.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
Kaya picks at a loose thread on her black jeans. It’s cathartic for all this to finally come out, but she can’t help but feel as though it’s only given their separation a kind of finality. Now that you’ve talked about it, you can move on in peace.
“I really missed you,” she murmurs, not looking at him. “And it felt like you didn’t, not as much. It seemed like the first time we weren’t in sync, you know?” She shrugs, her throat starting to tighten. “It scared me.”
“Kaya, you have no idea how much I missed you,” says Namjoon heavily. He doesn’t say the next bit, but it seems like a logical completion.
“God. Imagine if we’d just had this conversation back then,” he laments, running a tired hand through his hair.
“Yeah. You can cut yourself some slack, though,” she adds, glancing up at him meekly. “We both fucked up.”
Namjoon nods, giving her that same longing look that he’d begun when they’d entered Santa’s Village in Gangnam, before looking away.
“Have you… you know. Moved on?” he ventures, giving her a sideways glance.
She shrugs. “Define moved on.”
“You know. Are you - are you dating anyone?”
Am I ever. “Well,” she begins, taking note of how his shoulders stiffen next to her, “there was this grad student who tried to kiss me in the library, after which I ran away and cried for half an hour in the girls’ bathroom.” She raises her eyebrows. “Does that count?”
Namjoon’s head darts around to look at her. “He did what? Are you okay? Are you - did he hurt you?”
“What? No, no - it wasn’t like that,” she says immediately, shaking her head. “It was the day after you broke up with me and I hadn’t quite had the time to… deal with it yet,” she explains, giving him a reproachful look. “And I guess I’d mentioned sometime offhandedly that I was single, which he seemed to take as permission to try something and… then I told him to get lost.”
Dude, I have a boyfriend! had been her exact words to him, once she’d pushed him away and wiped her mouth in horror.
No, you don’t! he’d retorted, a lanky, brown-haired guy with glasses, sounding more confused than anything.
It had taken someone else to yell it at her for it to sink in, deeply, hurtfully, all the way down at the bottom of her stomach that she, indeed, did not have a boyfriend anymore, that Kim Namjoon was no longer hers - and everyone knew it.
“Why - why did you cry?” Namjoon asks, a note of concern audible.
“Because it felt weird, kissing someone else,” she admits, unable to look at him. “Felt wrong. Like I was cheating on you. What about you?” she asks after a moment. “Have you moved on?”
Namjoon gives her a look. “Does it look like I’ve moved on?”
“Uh-uh. This is not a topic where you can give me a cryptic answer like that.”
He sighs hugely. “No, Kaya, I haven’t,” he clarifies, almost indulgently. “It’s going to take a lot more than three months to move on from you.”
She tries to ignore how her heart zooms at his words, but it’s impossible. Clenching her jaw to keep from smiling, she takes a deep breath. “Wow, we were really late having this conversation,” she echoes his previous remark.
There’s a pregnant pause, with a world of possibilities visible in a single second.
“It doesn’t have to be,” murmurs Namjoon, and the hope in his voice makes her heart skip a beat. He waits for her to look at her. “What do you think? Can we give this another shot, baby?”
Screw you, Kim Namjoon. Kaya hates and loves in equal measure just how well he knows the right words to say to her. Her stomach flutters - butterflies, probably - while a warmth seems to course through her entire body, down to the tips of her fingers.
His face is inches away from hers. In the darkness of the car, with only the Christmas lights from Jieun’s house being the lone bright spot, and she tries to recall the last time he’d ever kissed her.
“I think…” She trails off, unable to think straight with how intensely he’s watching her. She tries again. “I think… I can’t have this conversation with that creepy doll staring at me.”
When Namjoon glances in confusion at the Taehyung doll they’d propped up on the dashboard before they’d begun driving, Kaya uses the opportunity to open her car door and step out. She hears him chuckle before following suit, and goes around the front of the car to join him by the driver’s side where he’s leaning against the door.
“Told you it was a creepy-ass doll.”
“And you were right.” Kaya stops in front of him and almost wishes she’d risked staying inside with the stupid doll. Tall and broad-shouldered, he suddenly takes her breath away. Maybe it’s the black turtleneck and grey jacket combination, maybe it’s the blond hair falling into his eyes and brushing the top of his collar, maybe it’s the familiar, woodsy cologne that she’s only noticed now that they’re out of the car. Either way, she can’t speak for a moment.
“So?” He raises his eyebrows, looking earnest and hopeful and heartbreakingly handsome all at once. “Do you think we can try this again?”
She shivers. “I…” It’s getting harder to breathe, and not just because of how he looks. This is so much more complicated than he’s making it sound. “I think.. we should sleep on it.”
Namjoon raises his eyebrows, apparently processing her answer.
She tries not to hurry her next words. “Look, I know we got all our issues out right now, but… our problems, they’re not going to go away. It’s still going to be the long distance thing, we’ll still have rough patches because of work… and I don’t think I can go through this break-up again.”
He frowns at the ground. “Why do you think we’ll break up again?” he asks, and she can tell he’s working to keep his tone neutral.
“Because making up this time isn’t going to last,” she says softly. He drags his gaze to look up at her then, and she can tell that he knows she’s right. “I just think… I think if we’re going to think about getting back together, we need to have some kind of view on - on what’s going to happen.” She swallows, wondering if he’s caught on to her hesitance to say the word. “Our situation… there’s a lot to think about. And I’m not just talking about the long distance.”
After what feels like an eternity, he nods. “That’s fair,” he says, but she thinks she can sense an undertone of disappointment. “It was just easy to forget, you know?” He shrugs and drops his gaze.
“I know.” And she did. She’d been starting to forget as well; it was too natural to fall into old habits. The way he’d rescued her from the guys at the ATM, the way she’d offered him the chocolate candy that came with her coffee without thinking, how he’d pulled her behind him when he thought he’d noticed someone pointing their phone at him; each of those moments had felt like déjà vu, except totally and completely real.
“That’s what made us kind of great,” she points out after a moment, wrapping her jacket tightly around her. “We always kept each other grounded.”
“So we’re sleeping on it?” Namjoon asks after a moment, looking up.
Kaya nods. “Yeah. Just so we’re sure.”
“I’m leaving for Ilsan tomorrow,” he reminds her.
“Good. That gives us a deadline.”
“Right.” Namjoon exhales. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.” He turns to open the door behind him when something grips at her heart.
“Wait, um -“ She breaks off, turning to glance at the house for a moment. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”
As expected, he shakes his head. “Oh, I - I couldn’t. But thanks.”
“I’m serious. Jieun always makes a ton of food.”
“Yeah, but…” Namjoon looks unsure. “I don’t think I’ll be welcome, right? Your ex-boyfriend… having dinner with your family?”
Kaya has never hated that word more, but she rallies. “I’m inviting you,” she points out. “And no one is going to make you feel unwelcome, I promise. They all love you. Please?” she appeals again. “I… I don’t want the evening to be over just yet.”
That seems to do the trick. Namjoon tilts his head the same way he always does when he wants to give her something but is prevented from it. “I - are you sure? You’re really close with your aunt. And your cousin.”
“Jieun’s always liked you. And believe me, with Jae-lin there, I’ll only be the second happiest person in that house if you join,” she informs him, rolling her eyes. He chuckles and her heart flutters at the sight of his dimple. “My mom’s inside. You should say hi.”
After a moment, he nods. “Okay. Let’s go,” he says, taking a step towards her, his hand gently hovering over her back as they make their way to the house. “I really do think you should ask Jieun, though. Just in case.”
“Jesus, don’t worry…”
“No, but what if she actually says no…”
—
Jieun doesn’t say no. In fact, Kaya’s aunt, more like a sister to her than her actual cousin sister, seems only mildly surprised but tells him he’s welcome. Her husband Jack seems not to notice anything strange at all, while Jae-lin seems absolutely thrilled that Namjoon is back.
“Oh, no, not - not exactly,” Kaya had said when Jae-lin had asked, point blank, if they were back together. There had been no further explanation, and her cousin had been enlisted to set the table and minimise the awkwardness.
“Sorry,” she’d muttered to Namjoon as they reached the dining table, looking up to see him both relieved and amused.
“Don’t worry about it,” he’d replied softly, reaching out behind her to pull out a chair and taking the one next to her. All through dinner, it felt as though nothing had changed, really. Jieun seemed to be enjoying some private joke as she watched them, sharing knowing looks with Kaya’s mother across the table, while Jae-line monopolised Namjoon completely, chattering away in Korean with no attention to anyone else.
Namjoon, ever the gentleman, engaged her fully; there wasn’t a moment where he tried to stop the conversation, his arm on the back of Kaya’s chair the entire time. Kaya stayed in conversation with Jack and her mother as much as she could, hoping that they wouldn’t allude to the situation at all.
Meeting her mother’s gaze was the hardest - not because Kaya was afraid she would disapprove, but because of how openly happy she looked.
“Mom, we’re not back together yet,” she’d murmured halfway through dinner, when her mother had given her yet another glowing, knowing, mom look.
“I know,” she’d replied, glancing at Namjoon over Kaya’s shoulder, “but you want to be.”
Did she? Kaya didn’t know. She was sure what she felt for him, even what he possibly felt for her. She knew they were happy with each other, understood each other, had an unimaginable amount of affection for each other.
But she didn’t know if she could do this again. As she sat next to Namjoon, feeling their shoulders brush occasionally and hearing his deep laugh next to her, she knew that “sleeping on it” would be far easier said than done.
“Thank you for dinner,” he says an hour later, bowing slightly to Jieun, Jack and her mother. “I had a great time.”
“I’ll walk you out,” says Kaya quickly, already turning towards the door, when Jae-lin pipes up.
“Oh, I’ll come, too!” she volunteers excitedly in English, and before anyone can say anything, sweeps by them and opens the front door.
A moment of silence follows before Namjoon speaks. “Sure, lead the way,” he says, smiling at her and squeezing Kaya’s hand apologetically. It’s the only thing that keeps Kaya from saying anything, even as the three of them exit the house into the cold night.
She trails behind them, arms folded across her chest, as she listens to them converse in Korean again. For all she knows, Jae-lin has just resumed their conversation from dinner, the words blending into each other for Kaya. With Korean-American parents, Jae-lin speaks both Korean and English with ease. Right now, though, Kaya wishes she would just stop speaking.
“Wow, what a sexy car,” says Jae-lin in wonder, running her hand on the smooth metal of the bonnet. She looks up to see Kaya glaring at her with a hand on her hip. “What?” she asks defensively. “We all use that word, unnie.”
Kaya stares at her. “Hey, Jae? Can you give us a minute?”
Jae-lin’s eyes flit between her cousin and Namjoon before they widen suddenly, as though she’s just realising she might be interrupting. “Oh! Yes, of course! I - uh, good night, Namjoon oppa,” she adds hastily and hurries away.
Kaya watches her until she enters the house before turning around to face Namjoon. “God, what a nightmare,” she mutters, rolling her eyes when he guffaws. “Shut up.”
“You shut up. You love her,” he says easily, still grinning.
“And you’re a saint.”
“Yeah, because you love her.” He leans back against his car again, the same way he was before. “And not to take a leaf out of Jae-lin’s book, but you looked really sexy being all strict with her.”
Kaya raises her eyebrows, feeling an old, familiar stirring in her abdomen. “Really?”
His smile gets wider. “Uh-huh.”
“I guess it’s a good quality for someone who’s working to be a professor one day.”
“Uh-uh. With a bunch of horny college students? They aren’t going to hear a word you say if you look at them like that,” he argues, taking a step closer to her.
The stirring passes from her abdomen to between her legs in an instant. “Okay, no. No flirting tonight,” she mutters, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away. “Not when we’re in this… limbo.”
His jaw drops teasingly. “No flirting at all?”
“No. It’s supposed to be a serious night, to think. With the… thinking. And stuff.”
“Good call on those three glasses of wine during dinner.”
She sighs and drops her head in her hands. “I was nervous. But I’m okay, really,” she insists honestly, straightening up as he gently pries her hands away from her face.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just smiles at her fondly, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. It tugs at her heart, how transparent he’s being with his feelings. She’d seen it earlier in the evening, too, when they’d been navigating the market square to locate his car.
They’d stopped to open the map on his phone and Kaya had moved closer to him to be able to see the screen. All of a sudden, she’d heard him say something in Korean and looked up to see him smiling at an older couple who were walking away. Just before they disappeared from sight, the man had caught her eye and pointed upward. Slightly confused, she’d tilted her head up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the wooden structure of the pop-up stall next to them.
Namjoon hadn’t said anything then either, choosing to simply suppress a smile and look somewhere near her shoulder, leaving the ball in her court. His you look pretty stunt was still burnt in her mind, though, so without too much thought, she’d reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before continuing walking.
It’s the same look now, the one where he seems to be on the verge of throwing caution to the wind. But she knows him too well, enough to know that caution is something he doesn’t play around with.
“Kaya…”
“Sleep on it,” she interrupts softly. “Seriously. It’ll be better.”
He looks for a moment as though he’s about to argue but at the last second simply nods. “Your hair’s longer,” he comments, fingering the ends of her loose, dark hair.
“Yeah. I’ll have to cut it soon.”
“Don’t. It’s beautiful.”
Kaya sighs. “Joon, you’re making this really hard,” she complains softly, her gaze dropping to his chest. She imagines him pulling her into it, feeling the hug she’s needed for months now.
“Sorry.” He swallows, just as a tune begins playing. His eyes light up in surprise. “Wait, do you know this song?”
“Uh… no,” she answers, frowning at the unfamiliar melody. It sounds like it’s coming from Jieun’s bedroom, but she can neither recall nor understand the lyrics. “Do you?”
“Yeah,” he says immediately, glancing up at the same window. “It’s pretty popular. It came out a long time ago, though. Like, when I was a baby.”
“Huh.” She listens for a few seconds. “Very Phil Collins,” she remarks.
Namjoon bites his lips and smiles, the dimple popping gorgeously. “You know what this reminds me of?”
Kaya grins despite herself. “Let me guess,” she begins deliberately as she lets him take her hand. “London?”
He chuckles, wrapping his other arm around her waist. “Hey, I can’t help it if London has so many good memories,” he reasons, his feet already moving in a rough rhythm.
She laughs but doesn’t argue, choosing to enjoy how he feels against her for a few precious minutes - quite possibly the last few minutes that she’ll ever feel it. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening them, only to see a light over his shoulder.
“Oh, God. Can we not do this where the neighbour can see us from his bathroom?” she groans, starting to step away.,
Namjoon tugs her even closer. “No one’s watching us. It’s Christmas Eve; they have better things to do.”
“Actually, it’s Christmas Eve-Eve and - okay, we’re in direct eyeline of the main road. Namjoon, what if someone sees you - oh, my God!”
Kaya’s feet leave the ground all of a sudden and after two large strides, Namjoon places her back down on the ground, arm firm around her. She bursts into giggles, stifling them against his shoulder as she regains her balance, looking up to see them under the tree in Jieun’s front yard, the fairy lights giving them a warm glow.
“Is that better?” he asks, laughing.
“Much better,” she agrees, feeling her heart expand as she moves right up against him, holding his shoulder and pressing a kiss to his collarbone as the song continues playing.
“Good,” he murmurs, his lips at her hair.
It isn’t a long song; Kaya’s just about registering how good he feels, how familiar, how safe, when the music fades away. They don’t step away from each other, though. She rests her forehead on his shoulder, hoping another song will play - anything to keep this moment going on a bit longer.
It doesn’t, but they still don’t move. She can feel Namjoon’s heartbeat against her hand, the one he’s clasping against his chest.
“Do you still love me?” he asks quietly.
Just like yesterday when he’d texted unexpectedly, taking the initial step, displaying the first hints of vulnerability, Kaya feels every strip of remaining defensiveness fall away, leaving nothing but raw honesty behind.
“Yes,” she admits, softly but clearly.
Namjoon’s arm tightens around her. “Can I kiss you?”
Her heart leaps. “Can you check if Jae-lin is still here?”
He snickers but she can feel his head tilt up. “No, she’s gone.”
“Then, yes,” she answers immediately, finally separating from him. Namjoon looks as though the sun’s come out; he exhales purposefully, his gaze falling from her eyes to her mouth. Gently moving her hair away from her face, he pulls her closer and, after more than half a year of doubt, anxiety and sadness, he kisses her.
The first time he’d ever kissed her was sweetness; sunny, warm and inviting. The next few times were flirty, sensual, teasing, followed by sexy, loving, affectionate - whatever the situation demanded. Namjoon was a hell of a kisser, his lips and body always moving in tandem, and he made her feel whatever the moment desired, every single time.
Right now, it’s a multitude of things. Kaya can’t even begin to identify it; she’s barely made it past the fact that she’s kissing him again, finally, feeling his lips and his hair and his hands on her. There are too many things in the kiss, but there’s only one thing clear in her mind: please don’t let this be goodbye.
It’s a vain hope because it may very well be, and she pulls him closer by the lapels of his jacket when she thinks it, trying somewhere in the desperation of their passion to remember that at least now, if they end everything right here, she’ll remember their last kiss.
Namjoon’s holding her close, so close. His lips are soft but firm, and the kiss sinking. When they finally pull away, staying right there, foreheads touching and his hand still in her hair, Kaya feels his heartbeat again. It’s under her palm, racing unevenly, but so strong.
This can’t be goodbye, she thinks again, even though every passing second makes it more and more clear that it probably is. It had been her suggestion to think it over and to consider more than just love, but in this moment, she regrets it immensely, for while Namjoon can be sweet and loving and romantic, nothing makes as much sense to him as pure, rational thinking.
It was one of the most attractive qualities about him; he was an artist, had an artist’s vision and temperament, but still held logic and reasoning in high regard. To a research student who worked with numbers, data and science, he was the perfect combination of everything she wanted in a man.
Despite that, Kaya wishes she’d never said anything. Eyes squeezed shut, she can’t believe this might be the last time, the last everything. She feels him take a deep breath before he kisses her forehead.
And just like that, she knows she’s made a mistake.
“Goodnight, Kaya,” he whispers against her skin. He pulls away and smooths down her hair. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
There’s nothing left to do but nod silently, and watch him drive away into the cold.
—
A faint buzzing wakes her up.
“Fuck,” whispers Kaya, feeling around on her bedside table for her phone. Squinting at the screen, she pauses in confusion. When the ringing continues, she answers before she wakes her mother sleeping next to her.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” Namjoon sounds far more awake than her. “Sorry, I think I woke you.”
“Good guess,” she mutters thickly, sitting up into a slightly more comfortable position. “What’s up? Is - is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” There’s a pause where she can hear the smile in his voice. “I forgot how adorable you sound when you’re sleepy.”
Despite how her heart skips a beat, she frowns. “Seriously? You woke me up at the break of dawn to flirt with me?”
He chuckles, low and pleasant. “No. I was hoping we could talk. In person,” he clarifies after a moment.
“I - well… I don’t think I’ll get a cab for a couple more hours at least.”
“Mhm, mhm. It’s a good thing I’m outside Jieun’s house, then.”
Kaya’s eyes snap open. “You’re - what?” She peers out of the gap between the curtains in the guest room. “Babe, it’s six am - the sun isn’t even up yet,” she groans, a second before she inwardly cringes and hopes he’ll let her slip of the tongue go without comment.
“I - I know. But I’ve been thinking about this all night. You asked me to sleep on it - and that’s what I did. I thought about it, looked back on everything, even had a drink to clear my head.”
“So you did everything but sleep on it.”
Namjoon sighs. “I’m sorry, I just… I have to leave in a few hours. And I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone.”
His tone seems to imply not wholly good news. She swallows, her heart already sinking. “And it can’t wait?” She drops her head into her hand. “I think those three glasses of wine are finally hitting me.”
“I have coffee,” he offers. “And the fresh air should help.”
Irrefutable logic. The smell of caffeine seems to spur her decision and she rolls her eyes. “Fine. Thank God you’re not my leader.”
He laughs. “I’m waiting outside,” he says before hanging up.
There’s no scope to pretty herself for this. Kaya manages to stumble to the bathroom and brush her teeth, after which it’s layer upon layer until she deems herself sufficiently padded for a December morning in Seoul at dawn. She doesn’t want to risk waking anyone up, so simply drops her mother a text: I’m fine. Just went outside for a walk with Namjoon.
“Hey, beautiful,” he greets her when she steps out, pursing his lips when she momentarily freezes. “Here you go,” he says, handing her a cup of coffee.
“Thanks. I needed this.” She takes the first sip, hot enough to scald her throat, and shivers in the frosty air. They begin walking down the street, the same one they’d driven up last night, with hundreds of unspoken words between them. Now, with all of them uttered and confessed, the air seems clearer and sky seems lighter, a nice indigo over the Christmas lights put up through the lane.
“Thank you for having me over last night,” he says. “I was planning on going home and ordering in, so home-cooked food was kind of amazing.”
“Well, you definitely paid Jieun back in kind, by keeping her daughter entertained all night,” she reminds him, still annoyed by how gushy Jae-lin had been last night. She’d always been a fan, since years before Kaya and Namjoon had ever met, and even though she’d somehow managed to get used to the fact that they were dating, her outward behaviour still needed some restraining sometimes.
Namjoon laughs. “I didn’t mind.” He’s dressed in sweatpants and a grey hoodie, with a black leather jacket thrown hurriedly over it. Looking at him, it’s as though he’d rushed out the door to meet with her.
They reach the neighbourhood park, empty as expected. It seems to be the only area in the entire neighbourhood that isn’t decorated; at this time of the morning, it looks strangely eerie.
“This should work,” mutters Namjoon, stepping inside and heading towards the swings, sitting on one edge of a two-person swing. Kaya trails after him silently, stopping a few steps away as he adjusts his position and looks up at her.
It’s gorgeous, his small smile. “Sit with me?” he asks. “I always loved going to the park as a kid. My parents would get happy because it meant I was taking a break from studying.” He chuckles.
Kaya doesn’t move. Dropping her gaze to the cup in her hand, she traces the mouth of the lid with her finger. “What’s happening right now, Namjoon? Is this us taking another risk together or… just an amicable way to say goodbye?”
Namjoon’s smile fades slightly. “Sit with me?” he repeats, sounding more sombre this time. “I’ll explain everything.”
Hesitating for a moment, Kaya joins him on the swing. Their shoulders brush, and she tucks her hair behind her ear before placing both hands around her cup like a safety tool, savouring the heat from it.
He takes a deep breath. “I thought about it,” he says finally. “In fact, I’ve been thinking about it all night. And if you ask me right now if I want to get back together… the answer is yes. It’s just yes,” he says earnestly, meeting her eyes. “I don’t have to think about it. I - I want you,” he admits. “I want to be your boyfriend. I want you in my life.”
I want you. The words should be enough for her to break into song, but instead Kaya’s chest constricts, as though her heart is bracing itself for the bad news.
“But if you’re asking me about a decision,” he continues, looking away now. “If you’re asking me about a long-term plan for our future - which is a fair ask, by the way,” he inserts quickly, glancing up briefly, “I - you know, it turns out I’ve been thinking about this for a while? I didn’t realise it, but it’s always been there at the back of my mind.”
Kaya doesn’t say anything. There’s a sense of foreboding in his words and she wonders all of a sudden if it isn’t just better to have a break-up over the phone.
“Given my job,” he says slowly, sounding like he’s choosing his words carefully, “given the industry, given my family… the fact that I’ll have to enlist in the military in a few years -” He breaks off momentarily and clears his throat, while her heart clenches. “Given all that, I think it would be impossible - and irresponsible - of me to promise you a future that I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you.”
“But I can promise you,” he says after a moment, and she knows he’s tilting his head to try and meet her eyes, “that every decision I take, every plan that I make… all of that will be done keeping this future in mind. The one with you in it.”
She frowns, finally looking up at him. “Are you sure?” she asks, and she hopes he understands what she’s asking.
He seems to. “Yeah, I am. I can’t… not have you in my future. If I look down ten years, fifteen years, twenty… I just can’t picture a future without you in it.”
Kaya doesn’t know what to say. They’ve just ventured into territory she wasn’t expecting. It’s not commitment. It’s not even a plan. It’s just a promise of intent, and she has no choice but to take him at his word.
He brushes her knee with the back of his hand. “Kaya?”
She bites her lip. “This… future,” she ventures, finding it strange even saying the word. “If you had it your way… what does it look like?”
Namjoon seems to consider this. “White picket fence,” he says, nodding. “And a backyard, definitely.”
Without meaning to, Kaya feels her face break into a smile. “Really?”
“Yeah. And, uh… one of those small bars in the house, with a countertop and the mixer things,” he adds, using an imaginary shaker. “A suburban house… late night drinks, where we talk about how our day was.” He looks down at her and smirks playfully. “Meeting for quickies in the studio during lunch?”
Kaya laughs. “Of course, I’m sure,” she says sarcastically, secretly unable to wait for more. “What else?”
“Um…” He squints up at the lightening sky, trying to think. “Museum dates on the weekends… Learning how to use a lawnmower.”
“I’m sorry,” she says softly, reaching up to touch his bangs, her heart full, “but there is no future in which I’m ever letting you near a lawnmower.”
Namjoon snorts. “Fair enough. What about… oh, a home gym, for sure.” The smile fades a bit, and he gets a slightly faraway look in his eyes. “An SUV… big enough to fit multiple people.” He meets her eyes. “Four bedrooms. At least.”
She swallows, her heart pounding. The prickling in her eyes is back and she stares at her lap, hoping it’ll go away. “Are you really serious right now?” she asks quietly, hearing the tremble in her voice.
“Completely,” he promises. “I know it’s not what you asked, and I’m sorry I can’t give that to you. But it’s the best I can do. Is it… is it enough for you?”
After what feels like an eternity, but is really only a few seconds, Kaya nods. “Yes,” she answers, watching the relief flood through his face. “It’s enough for me.”
When Namjoon says nothing and simply exhales shakily, she tilts her head. “Do you still love me?” she asks him, unable to keep the teasing out of her tone.
He gives a raspy sort of chuckle, pulling her to him and kissing her temple. “You’re the love of my life, baby.”
This would be the time to break into song, but Kaya reins it in, choosing instead to close her eyes and press her lips to his jaw, savouring that Kim Namjoon is, once again, hers - possibly for a long, long time.
“You know I spent, like, an hour yesterday picking out my outfit,” she murmurs after a moment, waiting for him to hum against her hair. “Should I get mad at you now or later for choosing to confess your undying love for me when I’m in a college sweatshirt and Jieun’s Uggs?”
He laughs, the deep sound making her heart flutter. “If it helps, I realised my undying love for you yesterday, while you were in your sexy outfit.” He tugs her closer by the waist and kisses her on the mouth.
Kaya makes a sound of surprise but doesn’t pull away. She holds his face to hers, running her hand through his hair, his thick blond strands as he gently coaxes her mouth open. There’s only so much room on the swing, though, and after about a minute of renewed passion, Kaya feels it sway dangerously under her. She’s just about to pull away when Namjoon sucks on her lower lip, a low groan accompanying it, and squeezes her waist - and she falls.
“Shit,” he mutters, taking a second to understand what just happened. “Are you okay?” he asks, snickering and bending to give her a hand. His dimple appears on his left cheek, brighter than the sunrise.
“What better way to resume our relationship, right?” she mutters dryly, taking his hand and dusting herself off. “The sun’s coming up, anyway - you don’t want to get caught making out with someone in a children’s park.”
“What kid comes to the park at seven in the morning?” he argues, tugging her closer by the waist again. “It’s the perfect place to make out with my girlfriend, if you think about it.”
She’s about to differ, but he kisses her on the cheek then before trailing his lips down her jaw and towards her neck. She sighs, her eyes fluttering shut on their own. He leaves for Ilsan in a few hours; if there was ever a time to risk making out in a public place, this is it.
“Fine, come here,” she instructs, stepping away and ignoring his protests, pulling him towards the corner of the park. She stops just beyond the jungle gyms, near the wall bordering the park and under a canopy of trees. “This will do,” she says approvingly, grinning when he wordlessly kisses her again.
Here, with the protection of the trees from prying eyes, Kaya allows herself to be taken by him completely. It’s the same urgent passion, but less desperate and more affectionate. Museum dates, late night drinks and an SUV, she thinks, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeper. He knew the right things to say and she hopes with all her heart that they make it to the future he’s envisioning.
“Mm, Joon, your hands are cold,” she complains against his lips, giggling as he slips them under her t-shirt.
“They are, huh?” he murmurs, low and deep, nipping at her lip and backing her against the wall.
“Fucking freezing,” she adds, sighing when they disappear from against her skin. “Can we go back to my - oh, wait,” she remembers, leaning her head back against the wall. “This isn’t Amsterdam and I don’t have an apartment of my own.”
“Well, it’s Seoul and I do have an apartment of my own,” he points out. “I have to be back in Ilsan for brunch but maybe we can sneak away for a bit…?” Namjoon trails off, shaking his head already, clearly on the same lines as her.
“We can do better than a quickie,” she says heavily, even as she presses her lips together. Her eyes dart to the bulge in his sweatpants and she swallows, resisting the urge to palm him right here. “When are you back?”
“Twenty-seventh morning,” he answers. “When are you flying back?”
Kaya hesitates. “Twenty-eighth morning.”
“Okay.” He nods, brushing his thumb against her cheek. “It’s going to be a hell of a twenty-seventh of December, then.”
She smiles and nods. “Yeah. I’m glad you’ll be with your family on Christmas, by the way.”
“Me, too.”
“Do you want to come over for a quick breakfast?” she offers, raising her eyebrows. “Everyone in that house is an early riser, including Jae-lin.”
“Sure,” he answers, surprising her. “You can tell her we’re back together, too.”
“Perfect.”
“Oh, wait.” Namjoon frowns, apparently just remembering something. “Won’t they be worried? If they wake up and see that you’re gone?”
“We’re half a block away from the house,” she reminds him.
“Sure, but they don’t know you’re here,” he points out.
She shakes her head. “Don’t worry. I dropped my mom a text.”
“Do you think that’s enough?”
“She’ll know I’m okay,” assures Kaya, getting up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. “I told her I’m with you.”
—
Thank you for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)
#namjoon x oc#namjoon x reader#namjoon x fanfic#btswritingcafe#thebtswritersclub#btshoneyhive#bangtanbathhouse#bangtanwhq#houseofddaeng#btscarnivalnet#kvanity#bangtanoasis#wkcnet#rm fanfic#rm angst#namjoon angst#hyunglinenetwork
180 notes
·
View notes
Photo
[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Main Story Chapter 2-1 Translation
*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Main story tag will be #Main Starlight
youtube
2 Years Ago, Mito.
???: Real lame, don’cha think?
???: He’s pathetic as a delinquent.
???: And equally pathetic when trying to play at being part of the Student Council.
???: …HAH?
???: We can’t seriously be tolerating this.
???: Probably.
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
Sakuya: What, no one’s here again?
Sakuya: We’ve successfully held our concert, and we’ve even pasted our posters up at the Music Education department, yet we don’t seem to be getting any new members.
Hayate: The people in music ed aren’t like those in general ed. We don’t exactly have the time to go parading around with such a suspiciously shady Orchestra.
Sakuya: If so… then what does that make you, exactly…?
Tomoharu: Hahaha. He does have a point.
⊳ Choice: It’s not anything to be joking about
Tomoharu: Pfft- Sorry. I do suppose it’s bad to joke about this, considering our situation.
⊳ Choice: You’re completely open to jibes
Hayate: Wha- Is that how you treat someone who lends you a helping hand!?
Tomoharu: Hmm… But if that’s how it is, then I don’t think we’ll have much luck recruiting members in Seiso Academy.
Sakuya: Yeah. Maybe we should try appealing in a different place—
Ginga: Oh, you’re all gathered?
Ginga: Ready to head out? Plum, natto and history-rich streets await us all!
Kazuma: Do you remember Hashizumi-sensei, from the Mito Symphony Orchestra, who was in attendance for our concert?
Kazuma: He has graciously offered to introduce us to a place where we can hold our future concerts if any.
Tomoharu: Eh? We’re going to hold our next concert in Mito?
Sakuya: Isn’t that kinda far?
Ginga: Cease your chatter! Yeesh, you lot. For people who are aiming to go global, your worldview really is tiny!
Ginga: Isn’t Ibaraki just a moment away if you go by the Joban Expressway?
Hayate: Mito, huh? It would be great if we could get Osakabe-san to join us…
Hayate: He was the Trumpets’ leader from last year’s Starlight Orchestra.
Hayate: He won 4th place in the Brass Section of the Jr. Classical Music Concours just as he’d entered his first year in high school.
Hayate: We were in different sections, so I didn’t really get to interact much with him. But, he’s reliable and someone worthy of respect.
Ginga: Heh? He sounds like an amazing person. Alrighty then, let’s try our damndest to induct him into our ranks.
Hayate: If he’s willing to join the Starlight Orchestra again, then…
Hayate: Maybe there’s some helping this misfit of a Starlight Orchestra, as well as how messy this room is.
Ginga: Huh?
Hayate: I’m talking about this sloppy mess in here— Empty cup noodle cups, pet bottles, and that barely standing mountain of papers just piled together in a heap.
Hayate: He’s also the Student Council President of his school, and very neat about things. I’m sure he’ll put the right to things here.
Hayate: I’m seeing a glimmer of hope here, (L/n).
Ginga: I, on the other hand, am absolutely horrified…
Sakuya: Well, it works out for you too, doesn’t it?
Tomoharu: If we have brass instrument players joining us, that’ll also mean that we’ll be able to play a wider variety of songs.
⊳ Choice: Let’s head out to Mito then!
Tomoharu: Yes! It’s going to be fun, don’t you think, senpai?
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
Nono: You’re going to Mito? That’s brilliant~!
Nono: That place is a noted place of connection of a really amazing Orchestra Conductor from Berlin ♪
Nono: I look forward to seeing the superb new members who’ll be joining us, Concertmistress!
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Main Starlight♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
Previous Part: (Chapter 1-14) Next Part: (Chapter 2-2)
#金色のコルダ スターライトオーケストラ#スタオケ#Starlight Orchestra#otome#Translations#Kiniro no Corda#La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra#Main Starlight
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thai BL Favourites Tag List Game
Of COURSE @lost-my-sanity1 want me to partake in this and I am doing it for that wee little child only.
Favourite BL
I mean, it was a tight competition between THE 2 - MSP and BB. But as I have screamed out into the void before, BB just takes the cake, man. That show viscerally changed me as a person. I am a NEW BEING after BB. It's the way in which it came during the pandemic with its amazing acting and directing and music and STORY and chemistry and all that and more. MSP is a close second but my uni bois have a special place in my heart.
[p.s I love nanon and his entire face in this scene so much I cannot even descRIBE]
Favourite Pairing
The pretentious me hates how I am following the mainstream and not thinking of some obscure pairings but yeah TinnGun genuinely deserve it. I am sorry but I still get butterflies whenever I watch the last scene of ep 4. That kind of chemistry is super hard to come by and GemFourth did such a good job, I love them. 🥺 I wanna forget ever having watched MSP and watch them all over again.
Some noteworthy mentions are obviously patpran, everything maxtul plays, akkayan, biblebuild, etc.
OH I do infact have a not THAT mainstream pair! It's whatever couple name mark and perth acted as in the [admittedly not a BL] show, The Stranded, on Netflix.
Favourite Character
Tinn. I relate so much to that boy, especially his awkwardness. Also he is super cute and I am super cute. He is also super simpy and I love that in a man. I truly don't know if I want him or want to be him.
[ANOTHER noteworthy mention is Pleum in Ghost Host, Ghost House cuz again, mans is a walking green flag and a simp. ALSO hella awkward. *gasps* I have a type].
Favourite side character
This position is shared by 2 of my fav comic reliefs who are also very pure hearted I love them to bits - Tiwson from MSP and Tankhun from Kinnporsche. The series truly wouldn't have been anything without them and I stand by it.
Favourite Scene
If I could say the entirety of ep 5 of BB, I would have. But if I had to choose. This.
Nothing surpasses this. Paof told them to make it award fucking worthy with the angst and they fucking did it. Ohm in this scene does so many things to me I cannot even I shall be kicked out from society if I ever open my mouth. I can't even stand seeing that gif cuz my knees will buckle down that very second. It also paved the way for the rooftop kiss TM so.
Favourite Line
I mean. I warned you about this in the previous question so. It's more to do with the way he says it but it's still my fav cuz it was done right.
Underrated Actor:
SING who plays the role of the villain in Not Me. It is time that he got some main character roles, gmm.
Most anticipated BL and why:
1. Dangerous Romance cuz I have missed seeing Perth and Chimon, another 2 actors that can ACT, in a main role.
2. Only Friends cuz
3. I feel you linger in the air cuz plot looks interesting and they r both hunks.
Healthiest relationship in a bl:
Tinngun. Aint even have to put up a fight.
Most toxic relationship in a bl:
I mean, there are lots, girlie. If you immediately thought of that one pairing after seeing this question, then yeap I am going with that pairing too wink wink.
Guilty Pleasure Series:
Tonhon Chonlatee and that too only the first few eps. I love khaotung man what do I do.
Bonus! Most underrated series:
I think khun chai is pretty underrated in the sense that it's very telenovelaesque and mayhaps not fully bl so people r put off by it but I LOVED that show to bits.
YYY was a comparatively underrated series too even though I loved the romantic moments as much as the weird and comedic ones. It truly sits in a league of its own.
OOOKIE thassit for now. I have exhausted my typing abilities and I am pretty sure I left a lot of good series and scenes off cuz my brain couldn't conjure them up while I was typing.
I welcome anyone else who wants to try this out honestly, but if @ashedddaisy and @gaylittlepieceofsh1t could contribute their think pieces, I would LOVE to read em.
#thai series#thai bl#bl series#my school president the series#tinngun#first khaotung#bad buddy series#ohmnanon#khun chai#yyy the series#dangerous romance the series#only friends
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I still have plenty to say on the topic, so bear with me, the original link is here, it would be too much there I think.
Anyway thank you Sol @palaceoftears for these tags that succinctly sum up the main point of the original post, let's bring them as starting point here:
#joanna you ate this!!! missed reading you#truly love how deeply you analyzed that confronting suleyman IS confronting the system!#also the freeing aspect because like freedom doesn't have to mean happiness?#yes ofc hurrem wouldn't be happy knowing ultimately suleyman didn't love her & her children over himself#but it's still freeing to not live yout whole life brainwashed lol?#like I never get how ppl that loves her watch her going from 'i'll kill the sultan' & 'don't treat us as animals' to dependant on suleyman#and just go 'happy ending :D' about it#mahidevran sultan#hurrem sultan#sultan suleiman#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil
You know how much I dislike Surrem, but I absolutely get people shipping it without getting it like "happy in love" (huge kudos to my sis Tisha) since it's an extremely complicated, mutually toxic relationship, while yes they do love each other at same time. But they are both each other's heaven and hell simultaneously throughout the whole show, with Hürrem being in worse position due to power imbalance. Power imbalance that never fully goes away. He might also be dependent on her in emotional way since he himself comes to belief she is the only person who would never betray him (because she truly had least benefit in it). Don't be fooled though, if she had e.g. crowned Bayezid in S3 as Sah intended, he would have shown her no mercy. /I once mentioned a bit about them, also historically here./
And LBR she got mistreated by him (please, he told her to kill herself for him, and the goal was not to determine whether she had poisoned Mustafa truly) multiple times before S4, it was only because of the topic covered I mentioned S4 stuff, especially related to how he screwed her kids.
People think of stuff in "tangible" categories and why stuff like mere "awareness" (without leading a revolution or whatever lol) seems to have little meaning.
Which is again one of the main themes of the show - to give voice also to those who lost and as such do not have the "but we won, we were happy, we lived" defence always acting for them. Bah, even controversies or discussions surrounding them. They are losers, not even worthy to talk about, and put on sidelines. We often discuss what motivated the "big figures" who got to become rulers, even if we do not approve of their actions or criticize them. Rarely we talk about "losers". Which is what Mustafa's letter stressed - people will deem me as traitor, while your name will be written in golden letters because of all your victories. This alone will make your name remembered. And even considering that Mustafa was lucky in that people generally did not believe him to be a traitor, with Bayezid it was much harder because yeah he did openly rebel and it's not something we can deny. But some jump to conclusions like 'he was insolent and one day decided to rebel for no reason' (yes, I've seen such takes) is very simplistic. I do not even approve of a lot of his actions there since while I get his anger at Suly and Selim I hate how he involves plenty of soldiers in a fight without a chance to succeed as long as Suly ass lives, but damn takes like above truly erase what brought him to such point. Because he was the prince with bigger support at that time. He could have waited for his father to die soon and easily taken the throne. /And historically - yes if you actually dig up sources, he didn't wake up and decide to attack innocent cookie pacifist Selim lol/. Show! Bayezid telling Defne that he would be labelled as a "rebellious prince" for future generations with obvious evidence backing it up means a lot because even though he IS one, there is so much more to this story and what bought him to this point, starting from his father's attitude to him since he was a kid.
And damn I do need to stress the need for the critical approach to SOW (which does not preclude stanning the characters/getting interested in historical figures ofc)? Maybe not here, but I still see TikTok shit on “The big 5” introducing feminism to Ottoman harem. There is no revolution we can talk of in any case, but truly, where is feminism involved in Haseki institution? It only privileges one woman over others. The others are still required to serve them, which is why we had the Hürrem/Gülnihal and Nurbanu/Valeria stories. And what it ties with what Sol says once Hürrem tries to kill Gülnihal - her parents' ghosts appearing to tell her It's not revenge. It's not what you promised us. Meanwhile, the men are still in power, with a person like Suleiman having unlimited agency. More.. the man selects the woman he gives those privileges too. And even if he grants her freedom (if HE pleases so), it has little actual effect because we all know she is still forbidden to leave him and would have lost her kids anyway if she had done so. Thus said, the moment when show Hürrem slams the door to Sulyass' stupid face is one of my fave Surrem moments without a doubt and one of fave H moments in general ahsmshs. / BTW One day I will finally talk how Westerners focus more on say legal marriage when it that system having multiple sons was more ground-breaking because even free brides from noble families who did not have children had little power and agency. /
There is plenty of irony involved, just as Mahi finally freeing herself from attachment to Suly once he rejects her freedom to which he is entitled by the System. Bah, only he has the power to do so regarding his women. It's all only at his own discretion.
It is precisely what I also mean by "taboo-breaking" and the questioning Mahi does of Suleiman and the way he (as Sultanate) operates. In that world mere questioning could break the taboo. We do not know what future lay ahead for anyone, but damn what he kept doing was neither just nor wise according to the very norms of the times themselves. Yes, Mustafa was the most promising and fitting candidate for the throne and he did not betray his father, so Suleiman removing him from "open succession" was not even why this method of succession had been established in the first place and demanded from princes assembling their own support, also ensuring that he would be easily accepted to prevent discord and rebellions. Mustafa did it too well, the horror. And that him wanting to do something (also as he himself stated, since he got privilege of being the prince and be able to rule, he should not sit idly, but use it for good purpose and the people) only brought him troubles because of Suly ass own ego only shows again the problems with this system and being centered on one person so much. Suleiman violated a lot for his own agenda, centered around himself, not the future of the state. This is what Mahi is criticizing and stating it to his face when he tried to paint his son as a traitor to present himself as just and acting for the state IS taboo-breaking in itself. Asking the question instead of dismissing it all as "fate", as Mihrimah tried.
Mahidevran tries to awake Mihri, who while rich and "still in power play", is very similar to her in many ways (also with the one big sin that has weighted on them silently). They all lost. Even Selim. Getting Mihri's brother (Hürrem's son) on the throne did not mean triumph and happiness for her. Heck, even Selim is a walking wreck. It's not even about sides because SS truly managed to destroy everyone's lives, not only one side's, so in the end it's not even favoritism. All for him to go with his beautiful words, a show-off victory, and his beloved throne (while saying something else in his monologue). Mahi telling Mihri to stop holding her father blameless IS the moment making someone else's eyes open and maybe do not let actively go for something that will not help anyone out at this point, like causing discord between Selim and his son. These are small things that are important for the theme and how mental freedom is also of value. Same with awareness. Nobody expects revolution or claims something. And we are at a particular point when Mahi already lost Mustafa and says it already in the context with him gone. She won't resurrect him with her words ofc LOL. And Mahi truly didn't have to do this, just take popcorn and look at Hürrem's kids & other descendants fighting even more.
You can precisely see when SS decides how to dispose of Bayezid when Mihri says she will never forgive him and will be dead to him if he executes her brother. The lightbulb over his head in this moment lol. So her continuing to hold him blameless, while putting everything on Selim and Nurbanu is buying his shit and rules of the Sultanate. Mihri might have power, so she can stir things up in attempt to still "win", but.. they all lost. Her acceptance of it and stating it out loud before leaving Topkapi again has meaning. One might continue to have power and live in palace (unlike Mahi), but they all lost anyway. Mere meddling that can cause only chaos to still try to win is meaningless and can ony be harmful. As such, Mahi's words can have at least some impact.
Mahi and fate as Sol's post with Plami's commentary also has this delicious tidbit with mirror - most likely Hürrem would have never ceased to hunt down Mustafa after Mehmed's death because she had decided on eliminating him long before that and kept carrying out the plan via concrete & repeated actions. However, Mahi still questions herself on that because she can never know. And even if it changed nothing, it still tormented her and polluted her conscience. Because culpability is still there, regardless of "system" and circumstances" and whether it has any tangible effect or not. Same with Selim still being culpable even though SS wanted Bayezid executed. He still chose to do so anyway. Bah, he is actually very self-conscious and states clearly that he won because unlike the others he was able to kill his brother.
Similarly, Mustafa, Cihangir, and Bayezid also made their choices. Mustafa could have axed Suleiman and it would have been hard to blame him for this in the situation it boilt down to. Actually, he was the one with biggest support at that moment, so rules of the Sultanate definitely allowed him to dispose of an aging ruler who began making a multitude of mistakes. He had the biggest power at his disposal if he wanted to. Moreover, Musti also chose to invite the member of the opposition faction because she was his sister, despite said sister openly declaring her standing on the opposite side and speaking to him "with her mother's words" last time they met. Once more, instead of rules of Sultanate and how the system expected him to act, he chose familial bonds.
Then again, Bayezid did have Selim on his knees in front of him and chose not to kill Selim, despite Selim never promising him any change or begging for mercy.
They both died, but they also could have chosen differently and compromised their conscience and values in the process.
Yet the opposite choice to adhere to the Darwinist rules and get the throne at any cost is not something mechanic that promises happiness or safety, either. Actually, it can make you painfully blind. We see Hürrem deciding blood will be spilled only of her enemies once she learns her son is going to end up on the throne. When she meets with the witch after Mustafa is dead and the throne for one of her sons IS a certain thing.. it's not what she wanted to hear, starting from her own imminent demise from natural causes. Same with her trust in the "human face" of the Sultanate aka Suly ass:
The "right, sultana?" is an ironic call-back to the beginning of the episode when she uses same words about Suly's power to exclude herself from the matter of Mustafa's death.
Also let us note the use of the word "destiny"😱 .
Also, Hürrem did not come back to ponder her preceding conversation with the witch earlier, as she had another proof of herself not interpreting it correctly - when she assumed Nazenin's baby would be the one the witch predicated as the Sultan. Nurbanu was after all pregnant with Murad at the same time.. so no, the witch was not mistaken, Hürrem was simply so caught up in her own vision of how it would go (also with Baye taking the throne) or assumed the witch to be mistaken, so she didn't notice it was about her grandson.
Another interesting thing is that the witch also predicts Mihrimah's future and that while her physical illness will pass soon, the spiritual pain will soon start and persist.
Because even if we "win" in that we survive, it does not need to bring happiness with it. At all.
It doesn't work like this either (Mihri talks about sacrifing Musti and Cih), while we are at it. There are no simple mechanisms like that! And how Mihri adopts her mother stance and calls her out that only one of her sons can survive according to the Darwinist rules (which is also what Rüstem advocates in any circumstances, only for him there is no support for Bayezid really... any can go) is just irony at its finest, and it stems also from her feeling of guilt - I already tainted my conscience and went again familial bonds, so let it at least mean victory for my favourite brother. She is now quick to accept one of them will die, she just wants to ensure it's not Bayezid.
Another of Hürrem's children that do adopt her "survival no matter the cost" agenda (and no, it's hard going for that to "pacifism" agenda shortly after getting what you wanted), and to a bigger extent, is Selim obviously.. Selim states to Bayezid that he will live because he is capable of killing his brother for his own survival. But we know what sort of life this is (and that he won't live long from history). He might later quote his mother to Mihrimah and convince himself that since nobody is innocent under this dome, so only the deserving win, but outside that, he does call himself a "brother killer" and does consider it a burden. /And Selim being his mother's son is another fascinating topic, since he was like.. her least fave and yet he is the one most alike her and who most absorbed her views and agenda.. to later emerge as sort-of third unexpected faction /.
Neither Mihrimah nor Selim ever found peace after adhering to the System's rules of fratricide. Bah, they cannot even be a family again as the only surviving members.. instead they openly accuse each other of being brother killers. Judging by history, they will eventually learn to co-operate, but nothing will be the same ever again. There is no moral victory in it for sure. Selim does not claim it any point. Actually, he is the one to point out that: We all lost. Innocence died and nothing will be as before. We can accuse Selim of many things, but he is a pretty self-conscious character indeed.
The others might be dead, but they did adhere to their principles and values due to choice.
The power of reflection or questioning is also tied to to the concept of choice as what makes us a human. MC never promises us happy ending (how it could, we all know the ending point), but the mere presentation of choice, of humans trying to create something positive, like Mustafa, Bayezid, and Cihangir deciding not to fight against each other as expected, is meaningful.
Instead we got nobody truly winning or benefitting from what happened LBR. It cannot get worse than that, really.
The whole issue again reflects what I said earlier in that post on how Erdogan historical propaganda works. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but there is no questioning at all. Instead we have normalization of violence and presenting it as something necessary, and that there is no choice or alternative to what happened. The sultan killed his brothers, but he had to. It was necessary, it was automatic. There is even no person behind it, but a robot always doing the right (even if brutal) choice because "it was like that".
And to some up the great ironies of life, we can remember that Mahi who lost it all... survived them all, so she won the Darwinist game in the end despite being rejected by System multiple times:
#all the ironies of life indeed#'the strongest survive and win'#as if#regarding everything in this statement#the topic of free choice vs system vs fate is soo fascinating in MC#Maybe will talk even more on the topic#let's see#mods opinions#meta
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
OH I HAD A FUCKING CRESCENDO IDEA (FOR THISE WHO SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW :tm: ITS OUR ENSTARS RP GROUP EHEH)
MAGICAL GIRL AU
imagine
CRESCENDO but something like Yuki Yuna is a Hero which i TOTALLY forced you to watch
the heros are the members of the “hero club” or some sort of idolistic club and they go around and sing and dance for everyone else but the main premise of the club is to find sacrifices worthy for “god”—whoever that may be. So when Crescendo’s first mission begins, they freak out.
Kiyama, although excited, has never been beyond this side of the world. Where the gods lay. His flower may be something like… a sunflower, and his weapon being a polaram or breakers or something like that. something with high mobility.
Miharu is given something like. a daisy maybe? (wasnt able to find anything on masking) and their weapon is maybe something defense-related.
Kirina’s flower is a white lily. Since Kirina expresses herself through dance her weapon might be something like a fan or some sort of leg brace based on kicking
Sato’s flower is a lilac, since Sato (i think) values family and close bonds. maybe their weapon is something based on chanting and bringing things together— like the vines itsuki has
Katsu’s flower is a Strelitzia since they symbolize a free spirit. Maybe Katsu’s weapon is a straight up electric guitar or a gun of some sorr
Shion’s flower is a white rose, my gay ass loves to focus on shion’s split between her unit and crescendo, since she can only focus on one after the events of ykyk.
Anyways with these, this idol group is tasked with the duty of protecting the world against the “Vertexes” or the wrath of the gods against humanity.
Hehe what do you think so far?
HI. I GO INSANE OVER CRESCENDO. HIIIIIIII I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DID U GUYS KNOW THAT. ANYWAY I WROTE A LOT IT GOT A BIT LONG SO. MORE RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT ^_^
@twowink @lycanthian @shards-of-brilliance @crooked-corvid hope u dont mind me tagging yall but its ur lil guys (gender neutral)
also im sorry i never got around to watching it o7 i think i accidentally closed the tab for it while doing a tab cleanup KLJHFKJSHDKFJ
also FUCK YEAH . MIHARU WITH DEFENSE. GOD. IM INSANE ABOUT THAT. IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM TO BE LIKE . A PROTECTOR OF SORTS. YKNO . LIKE THEYRE CHILL BUT THEYLL ALWAYS HAVE UR BACK AND AOUR(ITDIFYGSDLIFUGSDFLKJG they have a shield and they most definitely have a helmet that they sometimes wear because im all for the "masking" and "putting on a different face" thing they have going on (if this is how you learn about this then. there u go! altho it seems i alr told you about it mostly . yeah i think i did say somehting about that) anyway. miharu sooo has paladin vibes. hgrhgh
i think kiyama (or katsu) should have gauntlets. they deserve to punch people. altho an entire electric guitar is SICKKK anyway kiyama probably would have Some armor (probably leather) on his upper body bc . hes gonna be in the middle of all these weapons ykno. he needs to be at least somewhat flexible and light on his feet right? hm. i dunno . kiyama and katsu are difficult to think about for this. katsu definitely has some lightning effects going on. That will stay.
SHION. I DIE IMMEDIATELY. OAURGHHRGHGRHGJHRGJRHG ourhg. she'd be probably one of the ones dealing dmg too. give em a sword ^_^ classic fighter. also im putting them in a skirt u cant STOP ME. oh if u havent caught on EVERYONE IS GETTING SOME ARMOR. YOU CANT STOP ME. magical girls outfits with just frills and fabric be damned. I NEED TO PUT SOME METAL ON THEM I NEED TO MAKE THEM KNIGHTS (no not en.stars knights sorryy still love them tho ^_^) GOD. IM INSANE. MAGICAL KNIGHTS WITH FLOWERS??!?!?? OUHGHHHH
heheh ok time for kiri~~ she definitely has high mobility!! aaa implementing her dancing ability into her fighting style!!!!! i think shed try to learn how to fight using a halberd at first but she finds it awkward to move around with and then she (or sm1 else helps) comes up with the idea to do what shes used to: dancing. if shes so used to moving gracefully without holding heavy things then why doesnt she just. do that ? !!!! anyway im putting her hair into a high ponytail as we speak. although im having difficulty in imagining her in armor. ill work on that.
satoo waaaa so theirs would kinda be like. immobilizing enemies? kinda?? ough interestingggggg i think their armor would be relatively light (like kiyamas) but im thinking maybeee . ok i lost the thoughts dammit its hard to think about things for sato too :((
tldr i need to draw them all. specifically i need miharu in flowy fabric and armor. with flowers. and a shield. FUCK now im thinking about hades im sorry (i am crazy ok)
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
Yeah I agree with the last anon. I definitely don’t think all stories should be catered to us but it is kind of laughable to see the amount of unfiltered misogynistic discourse directed towards her and people consuming these stories always rooting for her to die so that him and the wattpad-esque OC can end up together. It’s definitely a trend and as the anon said, very much eye-roll worthy and unoriginal. It’s fine if people want to practice their writing skills ofc but a huge part of being a writer is being able to accept criticism and feedback related to the sort of the themes and tropes we use in stories. I think this is oftentimes conflated with “hate” and that’s just not the case. The “evil witch” trope has been around since fairytales existed and I get why people find it lazy because it inherently is.
Hi nonnie, hope you're doing well.
I do not condone this point of view. Every fanfic writer is allowed to create and narrate their own rendition of these stories however they wish. I believe shaming or even 'taunting' these authors is the worst course of action here. In fact, constantly questioning these genres/tropes can sometimes bring them into the spotlight - Lucemond and Jonsa are two great examples! I personally read stories filtered under both of these tags and have met with a great deal of pushback from other shippers for liking or even promoting these stories on my page. Fanfic writers put in a great deal of time and energy into writing these stories for free, without seeking any financial gain from their readership. Therefore, there is no significant loss for a reader who may dislike a story. While art is certainly open to criticism and interpretation, it's different from critiquing a more financially incentivized book or film aimed at a wider audience.
Secondly, I understand why you feel so exasperated - it is disheartening to witness the frequent rejection of Alys' character. I'm more sympathetic to those who view her as a victim in this dynamic - something of a 'war trophy' for Aemond. What really irritates me is how some downplay Aemond's power in the relationship, making him out to be a victim. If Ewan's portrayal hadn't gotten so much traction, I don't think many people would have even noticed Alys' role in his storyline - or perhaps they'd be applauding her for 'bewitching' him and ultimately sending him to his death.
That being said, I don't think fanfictions are the main issue here. Do people make Alys into an evil temptress and diminish her role as the other woman? Yes! However, we have yet to see her appear onscreen and we're still unaware of what direction the show will go in. With recent rumors that Nettles and Daeron may not make an appearance (which I'm desperately hoping isn't true), many Alysmond shippers are now concerned that Alys will be given the original arc between Nettles/Daemon before Aemond enters the picture. If this is the case, how fucking disappointing! As an Alysmond shipper, these fanfictions are the least of my worries. Other fanfic writers will keep crafting content for these two in the future - I'm positive of that.
I still believe (hope?) that Alys' character will gain popularity when she's introduced in the show but until then, it's best to maintain a healthy dose of caution when discussing them.
That's all 🤗
#anon asks#aemond x alys#aemond targaryen#alys rivers#alysmond#hotd discourse#shippy discourse#coven convening#alysmond hive
9 notes
·
View notes