#yeah they are definitely never mentioned
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I'm so fed up seeing videos about "the downfall of mcyt" or "mcyt history" and then the creator only mentions DSMP and maybe a few youtubers they watched. Like... there. are. so. many. creators. who. counted. or. count. as. mcyt. Here are my thoughts.
There are so, so many who counted, and still so many who count. And yeah, DSMP is an important part of MCYT history, but it's so recent in comparison. Like. Minecraft is a cockroach, it will go through so much shit and still be alive and active. Yes, there are the names who bring or brought down the name of MCYT, but in comparison they've always been such a small part of the community. They need to be remembered for their bad actions, or illegal in some cases, but defining the community by them is not good. Nor is just using one fucking smp.
I have watched, or attempted to watch, those types of videos on the history or the downfall etc., and I always complain internally about it. THERE ARE SO MANY PROMINENT MINECRAFT CONTENT CREATORS THAT FUCKING MADE CONTENT. Some don't make Mc (minecraft) content anymore or they rarely do but it doesn't mean they shouldn't be mentioned. (Yes I know, it's an impossible task to talk about all of them, but mentioning three or four as "the og mcyters" or "the old popular mcyters" just angers me)
DSMP I would say helped with the mc resurgence, but I can say similar to SMP live and SMP earth. I count SMP live as pretty important since I think people started watching the streams and videos from that smp and when DSMP happened people treated the content the same and watched it a lot. People started watching again, then with the boom of content in the covid lockdown people watched more. It wasn't just DSMP though.
Listen if you want to do a video about how DSMP affected you or the minecraft community, sure yeah that's a video to make. If you want to do a video on a specific few ytbers who you watched and how they affected the community yeah sure that's a video to make. To say "these are the three main" that's for you. To you they were the main three. To make the video of "all of mcyt history and mc as a whole" and mention 3 people......... and then DSMP.................... I don't understand you.
I've been a MCYT fan for years and years. As a child and as an adult. From E for everyone videos to watching videos that fucked with my innocence and just exposed me to shit I shouldn't have been watching at the time. Year after year watching different types of videos and different creators. Supporting people and finding out I shouldn't, and supporting people and them being good people. To challenge videos, parkour, adventure maps, droppers, role playing, role playing, let's plays, tutorials, modded content, horror content, hide and seek. So many different types of content exist for mc, and I've been a watcher for a lot of it.
DSMP should not define MCYT. There is too many people who have made content for me to just accept that.
Hold people accountable for their actions, do not define a large community by a few people, and if you want to talk about your favorites affect in the community go right ahead but please don't call them the most popular or most important. Some people might never of heard of them. (I am thinking of the do you know this mcyt blog)
#mcyt#dsmp#smp live#smp earth#Just mcyt as a whole is what im talking about theres so many youtubers out there#im just not up for people minimizing how much mc content exists.#edit: so youre not going to mention hermitcraft or stampy or prestonplays or popularmmos or aphmau or SCOTT SMAJOR or ihascupquake or#or any of the ālittleā crew or skydoesminecraft or shubble or captain sparklez or hbomb94 or rtgame or jacksucksatlife or amylee33 or Jamal#or wattles or squaishy or bajancanadian or jeromeasf or vikkstar#like yeah you need to mention Technoblade cause hes DSMP and skeppy and Badboyhalo are all that but they HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR FOREVER#techno gets the best commentary on him since you know#like so many of the hermitcraft people as well are so og mcyt to me and NOTHING is usually said about them#like fucking ldshadowlady and smallishbeans are also so og and scott and seepeekay and oli and like that crazy craft smp is so old so good#ssundae too im literally going through doyouknowthismcyt queue sheet for these names and i feel insane please please please talk about more#fucking mcyters then the dsmp ones i have fondish memories of dsmp dont hate on me but there is so much more you can talk about in videos#i feel so repetitive but i needed to express my thoughts on it#edit edit YEAH HOLD ON I FORGOT TO MENTION WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER FUCKING LANGUAGES AND COUNTRIES#theres other countries and other fucking languages people made mc content in i forgot about it for a sec#yeah they are definitely never mentioned
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN š„š„#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN āļø#listen I know Iāll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal šš¾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like š#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit š#PHONE GUY definitely didnāt know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#Iāll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs letās go!! š©µš©µ
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1000%, the funniest radiostatic idea was that one post that's like, Alastor doesn't know they're enemies
Like, what if they never actually had a falling out - Alastor just disappeared for 7 years without saying a word and Vox flipped his shit. Except. Alastor doesn't know that, he's just treating Vox the same as when he visited Rosie.
He just didn't need to visit Vox bc Vox so kindly did a whole funny little production where they could banter at each other, like besties ā¤ļø
Autistic Alastor who tends to just mirror how people treat him (that's why he is such a good entertainer/radio host) so it just, never occurs to him that him and Vox were legitimately fighting.
(Alastor just sits next to Vox and Rosie at the next Overlord meeting, essentially kicking his feet as he sits next to both his best friends. Vox is encased in rage, and Rosie is enjoying the show).
#hazbin hotel#alastor#vox#radiostatic#staticradio#staticlovetune#(or is it? lmao)#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#(am i basing Alastor on me? maybe. have i had verbal fights with my boss without noticing bc i was just mirroring him#and never registered until my coworker mentioned that we were definitely fighting? perhaps)#so yeah thats Alastor to me
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headcanon: dick actually prefers wearing baggy clothes in public and is way more comfortable in them because nobody comments on his body when heās not in form-fitting outfits
and it sucks because he actually really enjoys wearing form-fitting outfits and feels good in them, but any time he does people stare or catcall or even grope him and he just. canāt handle that after everything
plus the villains kissing him as nightwing thing has gotten so bad that heās genuinely considering getting a mask that covers the lower half of his face
#i have a lot of feelings about him okay#dick grayson#dc comics#nightwing#dc stop having characters sexually harass nightwing challenge#these are not fun hcs#moreso āhow i think these things would affect himā#dick not even feeling comfortable wearing skinny jeans in public.#dc i am coming for you#cuz the amount of times that heās harassed and objectified etc is ridiculous!!#and it would definitely affect him!!!!#heās shown to be visually uncomfortable with it! multiple times!#and is also canonically a SA/rape survivor!!#dc writers i will find you.#cw sa mention#when in costume around people he is constantly on edge#except his family and friends ofc#but even in a mask and armor he feels less safe than he would in a hoodie and sweats#anywayyyyy#yeah i cant stop thinking about him again#the Grayson writers specifically i will hunt down and kill one by one#in my head this started with me thinking about amab nonbinary dick grayson#and then i was like#yeah cuz heās woman coded so it makes sense which brought me to WHY heās women coded#(because heās just as sexualized and objectified as them)#iāve literally never seen any other male character treated this way. just dick grayson#ok sorry iām rambling
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My G3 Abbey's hair is so fucked, I think my only option at this point is to reroot her.
#monster high#monster high g3#abbey bominable#im genuinely so mad about it tho...she's such a great doll why did they have to fuck up her hair??#not to mention i have other reroot projects i want to do for fun where this one is like a necessity#and buying the hair is soooo exspensive#part of me is kind of excited if i ever do get the chance#cuz i think her gen 1 hair would look really cool on her#i like her g3 design a lot but i do miss the fuchsia in her old one#and id like to see her with icy white hair#id definitely try to curl it too#but yeah i cant believe how fried her ends are...despite never being subjected to heat or even water at any point#purely just from being brushed#text post
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2024 reads / storygraph
Fallen Thorns
dark urban fantasy coming-of-age
follows a boy settling into university, when after a date (that he didnāt even want to go on) turns bad heās made into a vampire
as he settles into his new existence and the local vampire community - while they try to find whoās been leaving bodies across the city - he discovers that thereās something different and darker within him
aroace neurodivergent MC
#fallen thorns#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this a lot!#there's definitely things I want to know more about...I think it's going to be a series? the only thing explicitly mentioned is a prequel#the ending is a bit weird and I don't entirely get the sun/star/moon stuff dfhgd#really great characters and atmosphere#great aroace MC in general tho minor pet peeve from me:#it does have that thing where the character spends half the book ruminating about how thereās something wrong with them bc they don't feel#things everyone else does etc etc and itās like omg all these queer people and nobodyās heard about asexuality???#then heās having a conversation with someone later in the book and heās like yeah I know about asexual but I didnāt think about that re: me#and the other char is like: what ifā¦..it IS youā¦..and heās like omg. i AM asexual thereās nothing wrong with me after all! (in like. a page#like Iāve read this in multiple books LMAO. I do get that you can know about an identity and not connect it to your experiences#but somehow the writing of it like this is never quite believable? too sudden? then it's not thought about much after that?#anyway that's not a critique of the ''representation'' as much as just the writing I think - there's a few areas where I thought the writin#could be improved structurally or whatever. Didn't massively impede my enjoyment.#(I do also love an aroace mentor/parent figure!)#aromantic#aroace books#aromantic books
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(cw: brief mentions of internalized arophobia)
now that i've actually realized i'm arospec, i'm starting to notice just how obvious it was. like, i've suspected it a few times in my life, but each time i was like "nooo, i can't POSSIBLY be aromantic". and, um. yeah, so that was a lie.
so, here's a:
list of things that probably should've made me realize/accept i was arospec before i actually did:
only ever had "crushes" on people that either would have made social sense for me to, i just thought were really cool and wanted to be friends with, or people who either confessed or me first or who other people assumed i had a crush on. i legit just went through a list of these with my friends, and literally everyone single one of the people on it was one or more of these three things. speaking of that is:
only ever had a "crush" on literally six people. six. this doesn't count what was assumed to be "crushes" on fictional characters, but even that i'm??? not really sure if i ever did??? plus, the first crush i can remember having wasn't until i was like 9, which would've been around the time that kids at school started getting more into having "crushes"
always got frustrated when i wasn't believed about not having a crush on someone.
that Uncomfy feeling in my tummy the few times when i actually got into a "relationship" with someone and literally anything "romantic" happened ever. seriously i would be trying to be all "romantic" and stuff, and i'd be like "huh, what is this weird all-consuming nausea i am experiencing? why do i feel absolutely awful being perceived to be in a relationship or acting romantic?? i'm sure it's nothing!!!"
my confusion at dating culture. @theeviltwinduh can attest to the rambles/rants i've been on about how weird i find dating culture, specifically the fact that people just. meet people for the sole effort of getting into relationships.
my inability to actually express what crushes felt like and my confusion about what it meant to have one. furthermore, my confusion about what actually qualified as romantic and what separated those feelings from other ones. (i still don't really get this one. i just??? what makes something romantic??? how do people Know??? why are certain behaviors perceived as only for romantic relationships and no one else??? what makes those things inherently romantic, other than just that society deems them so???)
finding characters and people attractive, but never actually really imagining myself in a relationship with them. or if i ever did, it was just kinda like a friendship.
really really liking the idea of qprs for a reason i could not explain. and also being confused about the differences between qprs and romance bc idk what romance is supposed to feel like.
liking the concept of "being in a relationship" but literally any time that concept is brought up as an actually possibility just having fight or flight instincts kicking in (mainly just flight)
when imagining my future and trying to imagine a partner, just kinda seeing some sort of formless blob. or not imagining one at all. or just imagining like a really good friend type thing.
literally ID-ing as aro at one point but being like "nooo i can't possibly be aro!!! i've "totally" had crushes on people before!!!"
that's really all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there's definitely more!
#cw brief mention of internalized arophobia#ngl it was very funny when i texted my friends about this and one of them went āwait were we not supposed to know already?ā#(the reason for this was because id briefly mentioned thinking i might be a few times in the past#but never actually being like āyeah i definitely amā)#aromantic#arospec#aromanitc#aromantism
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hello, hello, you all ā so... i hope you all are having a great thursday thus far, and i thought i'd bring this up now since i hadn't before; but with ana's zombification comes some noticeable differences to his behavior as well as appearance. because, and don't get me wrong, he was already pale before... but now anastasiy's skin now has this pallor that takes on a sickly look. and it has become necessary for ana to have to apply some concealer to his skin daily to hide the fact that his lips are, indeed, sort of tinged blue + some veins (particularly around his eyes and mouth) can clearly be seen and it definitely isn't the most uhh. natural look, to say the least JSJSJ
now, i'll probably cover more about his behavioral differences later, but one thing is that this man does have these SICK and TWISTED urges to consume human flesh as a zombie would in typical fiction would... so that's lovely / j LMAO nahhh, i'm totally being sarcastic with y'all right now as that is actually horrifying. but anastasiy does try his darndest to resist giving into this temptation because cannibalism is a BIG no-no in society for a reason (because its absolutely terrible and extremely gross) + with... slightly mixed results š¬
#NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT BRAVERY FEELS LIKE FEAR: musings.#SEE HOW OUR WANTS HORRIFY US: headcanons.#TO SUFFER. IT MEANS GOD IS NEAR. GRACE ā LIKE A SCALPEL WITHOUT ANESTHESIA: character study.#ooc post.#yeah so... i'll have you know that i was THIS close to calling ana 'mister man' but then i was like JSJSJ nah i've got to be a littleee more#serious here even though i am pretty much the queen of being sillay by now BC idk how i would make that work while talking about-#CANNIBALISM so... yeah ā ļø but anyways how are we feeling about ana's character so far y'all? but OFC there's no pressure for anyone-#to answer that i'm just genuinely curious NGL haha. because i think that anastasiy is pretty different from peeps like barton-#and blamore in the way that he is still morally bankrupt for killing people as it's NEVER alright and/or justified to do that#in ana's mind however he was torn between two impossible choices and he didn't know that manja's deal would be as bad as it turned out-#to be. but he still has to take responsibility for the fact that he made it and that his moral compass is definitely entirely skewed now#because saving person in exchange for dooming a bunch of others is... š¬ yeahhh i think we all can agree that it's a selfish choice#at the very least#tw: body horror.#tw: cannibalism.#tw: mentions of murder.
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I'm sorry, I just realized I've been referring to Kudo and Bruce's anti-AFO group as "The Resistance" when they don't even have a name
So I'm just gonna call it that until they give a name, but darn it
#I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THEY DIDNT HAVE A NAME#i just went āwait. where did they ever call themselves the Resistance?ā and WHOOP-DEE-DOO GUESS WHO MADE IT UP#ahahaha why#i really thought that was their name but my head just made it up like it were fact#they never mention if their group had a name#so now im wondering where my brain came up with that because it definitely wasnt a conscious thought#just went āThe Resistance Yeah!ā#the sky is blue all might was quirkless and the resistance is actually unnamed#man#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#ofa#one for all users#kudo#bruce#yoichi shigaraki#afo#all for one#one for all#i am mentioning this in advance because i have posts queued up and they mention āThe Resistanceā#and by that i mean Kudo's ragtag group of allies against AFO#it was one of those things where you dont even question it its just facts from forever ago#darn it#im still gonna refer to it as such but still. its a hc thing then that i made up#backed by the sole phrasing/fact of ākudo led a resistance to counter AFO's ruleā#spoilers#good job me *claps sleeves*
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One thing I really wish the FF Community would Stop doing is Removing All Nuance from the Parents in Those Stories in order to Make Them Abusive Supervillains who Never Loved their Kid.
Like... In the Four Years I've been here, and for how Small the Community really is, you'd be surprised how many Times I've seen it-
#The Most Prominent (and Worst) Example I can Give is with Alecās Mother#Like... Yeah- She listens to Fucking Books and is a Karen basically- She's not a Good Mother#But making her into an Abusive Mother who Never Loved Alec and just wants to Control Him?? I think we read the Wrong Book Guys-#That Removes alot of the Tragedy in Lonely Freddy- The Fact that Things could've Gotten Better if they just Talked#But they can't anymore since Alec is Trapped in a Dumpster...#There's also plenty of More Examples I can Give#Devon's Mother isnāt Abusive or Homophobic- Sheās a Struggling Woman who was Abused herself (Devonās Father threw things at her)#Which in turn from that Struggle- Has made her Neglectful of Him#I can't really say much for Pete's Mom since I forgot alot of Step Closer- but making her a Comical Abusive Mother probably isnāt accurate.#I even once saw Oswald's Dad get Villainized and Like... We definitely must've read the wrong story cause the worst thing I remember him#doing is getting upset at Oswald for going Into the Pit#It's usually always the Mothers who get Villainized tho- Like... If we're going to look at their Kids with Nuance and-#- believe they could get better if their stories didn't end with Tragedy#Why can't we do the same for their Parents??#Also if you REALLY want like... an Abusive Parent to Hate- Greg's Dad is right There.#Angel's Step Dad is Pretty Abusive too from what I heard (I never read the Story)#I'm just saying- Thereās no need to villainize the Parents with Actual Nuance to Comical Degrees#fazbear frights#<- Tagging it because it's something I've really grown tired of...#Oh Yeah in Case I wasn't Clear#I don't think the Ones I mentioned above are good Parents necessarily (Besides maybe Oswald's Dad)#I just Don't like when people make every single one of them Super Mega Abusive cause that like... Kinda removes the fact that you can be a-#- Bad Parent WITHOUT being Abusive or Hating their Kids?? Like... You're kinda removing alot of Gray and making things very Black and White#Ok sorry for Writing an Essay in the Tags- I just had alot to Explain
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š¤ (from desmond!!)
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive (when necessary in order to protect her as her sworn sword) / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / Iām asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now (the Pain of being married & being a queen & wanting to be a good role model for your children & ur sworn sword is a kingsguard) / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donāt like them / i donāt trust them / they annoy me / theyāre weird / Iām indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyāre growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iām not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyāre cool / theyāre genuine / I think weāre going to get along / I really like them / I think Iām in love / oh fuck theyāre hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donāt like them / i donāt trust them / they annoy me / theyāre weird / Iām indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyāre growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iām not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyāre cool / theyāre genuine / I think weāre going to get along / I really like them / I think Iām in love / oh fuck theyāre hot / I love them.
send š¤ and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING.
#answered.#sevynhells#oh g-d what if i kms#dynamic; helaena & desmond.#she's c.aed- & d.emi so like. her falling in love w/ & especially wanting to be sexually intimate w/ sb is. Very hard for her to do#SHES LIKE!!!!! SO CAREFREE YET SO RESTRAINED AROUND HIM. LIKE. THAT MAN IS HER ROCK.#like ...... he & vaenna are the first people she calls for after aegon right after b&c happened#like. she HATES how he blames himself bc literally none of this was ever his fault#like. he left his homeland in dorne in the tor to SERVE AS A KINGSGUARD BUT EVEN MORE THAN THAT TO SERVE /HER/#he devoted himself to her in a way she's never seen w/ her father towards alicent. she NEVER feels unwanted or unappreciated around him EVE#he laughs at her her jokes even when she missed the punchline or gets it wrong. he never makes her feel like a madwoman like so many ppl do#like even if he doesn't understand she never once felt like he was ever judging her. that man will track her down like a BLOODHOUND#like i genuinely believe that helaena prayed CONSTANTLY for someone like him to come around & the gods gave her him#i genuinely wouldnt be surprised bc of how close they are that aegon would've noticed that & been like jealous about it bc he's possessive#but like. she represses these desires bc like. she's MARRIED & she's the QUEEN & she has children she wants to be a good role model for#& not to mention during helaena's entire marriage to aegon she was still loyal to him despite everything bc she wants her children spared#she literally wears gold after sunfyre & has a golden sun wedding ring & so when b&c happens that's just. taken away from her.#& then there's Also her dynamic w/ vaenna her childhood best friend & her whole conflicted sapphic feelings surrounding her#& honestly she feels ashamed for having those desires at all & not to mention he's a kingsguard member so if they did anything he could DIE#& like. she cares about him & i'd say loves him & she doesnt want him to get hurt. so like its. extremely difficult for her#so yeah helaena is. Very Conflicted around him but she genuinely loves & desires that man w/ all her heart.#if anything its probably more likely in a post dance survival au that she'd Say Something About It#but like. there's definitely subtle hints thrown here & there that she tries Not to let show but you can cut thru that tension like a KNIFE#iTS SO HEARTBREAKING MAN
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so there is this thing I've speculated over many times but I never mathed it out before so:
This tells us that Blaine was born at some point between 6/4/1980 and 5/4/1981 (I assume it's not his birthday bc I feel like he would have mentioned it but he also might not)
We also learn this:
Now this seems to slightly conflict with this -
-but I'm actually more leaning towards the first one, because Angus was actually sane then (by McDonough standards) then and it's a legal "document", while the other is a "Brother Love" doing a sermon.
Also, we can see on screen, that the will was recorded on March 4th 2012 - so minus 35 years, that actually means that she's been working for him since before Blaine was born (1977 or 1978)
Which would really mean she was there all of Blaine's life. This is also kind of supported for me by this:
Now...in present day, Blaine mostly refers to his father by his name, using words like dad or pops etc sometimes for the sake of it. But...assuming that he's actually quoting something he remembered saying at some point (which it sure sounds like in that scene), then he must have been pretty young to still have referred to his father as "daddy" - especially considering Angus' long absence and generally...low tolerance for "weakness" or sentimentality. I feel like he wouldn't have humoured that for long but that's just speculation. But my point is that Blaine would have been pretty young at that point which supports the earlier theory that Frau Bader really was there for most of his life.
The thing is, personally I always speculated that she was hired because Angus was barely home/didn't really spend time with his son and because his mother was too mentally ill/traumatised to take care of a child. but. Unless Blaine has a secret mysterious older sibling we never hear about, Bader cannot possibly have been hired as a nanny. Which kind of makes me wonder whether she was supposed to be a kind of "caretaker" for Blaine's mother before that. (Or whatever else her connection to Angus might be)
#she's definitely not some random maid considering that he gives her so much money and keeps her around for so long#but she also doesn't really seem to be connected to his company or business so her being in charge of the household makes sense#so yeah my theory that she was originally hired to look after Blaine's mother (which probably didn't help)#izombie#blaine debeers#child abuse mention#domestic abuse mention#fandom#still think that dressing up as an old man and gaslighting his father into believing he missed the apocalypse is easily. top 5 Blaine antic#(but also. do you ever think about that he's simply never been okay or in a safe environment his entire life. how do you fix that.)
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#our dearest and most damnable charlotte.#yeah she's a menace but she's MY menace#she'll never be persona non grata to me <3#the fact that these occasional low quality snapshots are all I ever feel comfortable sharing for Char's fc visuals...#she just isn't meant to be seen in high definition I'm sorry#not to mention that the /movement/ of gifs... make her seem too alive.. too real š and we simply cannot have that
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watched space babies and the devil's chord today. i enjoyed space babies but not so much the devil's chord???? tho tbh i think that was because i was going into sensory overload and also my mum happened to be there and i was just like :) wow she will not be able to handle queerness on the level of a drag queen and is going to decide doctor who is shit now based on that and won't give ncuti gatwa a chance. but overall! i did really enjoy it. i love how much joy ruby gets from it all, and how the doctor responds to that. it's genuinely adorable to watch them giggling together and running around
#there were definitely bits i didn't like. like the maestro mentioning the one who waits. whoever that is. sorry to be a hater but i wish#the season wasn't literally bitesize and that there was time to have some regular adventures before hitting us with warnings of what's to#come. also i've never been a fan of musicals so i cringed a lot. but that's just a matter of personal taste. and again. sensory overload#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#i think the episodes were okay. they were enjoyable. they didn't blow me away tho#i had to go into a idk how many hours nap to recover from the devil's chord sensory overload. episode that left me feeling like i'd been hi#by a train for some reason. probably cause i was up since around 4 because of work and watched the episode around 2pm#oh!!! also!! susan mention!! fucking ate that up! fuck yeah! mention your granddaughter king!
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles š#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me š i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too š#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be š#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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I gotta write a Kai centered fic or one shot some time soon man...
Last time I did I unironically had so much, he's so fun to write and especially when he's starting to lose some of that level-headed seriousness and focus he has in actually dangerous situations.
#ninjago#kai smith#I love Kai so much#His motivation are set up so well and its opens the door for him to have really specific but good dynamics#Like a few days ago when I pointed out how he and Zane *DEFINITELY* have something going on#I'm still thinking about that post yeah#Because fuck me they're both so samiliar in so many regards#Amazing big brothers potential if you talk abt those two#Oh not to mention Lloyd and Nya#Definitely a responsibility of ensuring they're safe and all#He's such a caring person but fuck me does he rarely show that#He's a little guy give him love#ACTUALLY just give him Ray and Maya he deserves to have some time off with his parents#This all being said however#If you ever see me abruptly stop posting about Zane for a while and then come back with a completely different character#Not that something's up CUZ THAT AIN'T ME#I will never shut the fuck up about Zane 'Ninjago' Julien.
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